You Are Being Unreasonable - Bonus - In which Harry Potter is discussed

Episode Date: March 14, 2019

A bonus episode for the off-week! This week, we briefly discuss Harry Potter and quiz Hels on her knowledge of the boy wizard and his magical friends.

Hello. Bonus. We're going to put this out in the off week. Yeah, this is a bit self-indulgent, but bear with us or don't, whatever. We have a fred for ourselves. We're doing a Harry Potter special. Am I being unreasonable to not understand why adults find Harry Potter so good? I've really got into Harry Potter, but people told me I was missing out, so I've watched

all seven films in the name of research. I still can't understand why it made it so big when there are better fantasy films and books aimed at the children and teenager market. I certainly don't understand the attraction to adults. I find them very dull and formulaic. If you're a fan, what is it I'm not getting? If you compare them to Narnia, or his dark materials, or Hitchhiker's Guide, or Asimov, then there is no comparison.

prefer Pratchett or Ian M. Banks or Gaiman. Am I the wrong age? I was about 18 when the first book came out. Now, you've never read Harry Potter or seen the films. I've read the first chapter of the first book, and I've seen the first film because it was part of a school trip, so it was basically compulsory. Right. So you should be able to answer some Harry Potter questions. Yeah. Is the question, what's so good about it? Because I can't answer that one. I'm with the No, no, that's not.

Okay. How did Harry Potter get his scar? You know the scar on his head? Yeah, so there was an incident, and he was there, and his parents were there, and his parents got killed. Oh, no. And he didn't, but he got a scar. Right.

And the scar happens to look like lightning, because it would be boring otherwise. I see. Yeah. Very good. You know who Dumbledore is? Uh, yeah. Go on. The gay head.

master. Yeah, you've used your description that isn't actually used in the canon, but yeah. Well, but it was used on Twitter. Yeah, so that makes it fine. Yeah. And do you know who Voldemort is? The baddie, the bad one. Do you know any more about him?

No, because you're not supposed to say his name, so how am I ever going to learn? How are people supposed to learn? I know you're not supposed to talk about him. and given that people actively aren't supposed to talk about him and I actively don't want to listen Teach the controversy He was a baddie, he was an ass-of He was an asshole

Did he do the scar? Yes I don't think it's giving too much a way to say that he did the scar It's an arson with artistic flourish Do you know why he was involved in the incident? No I don't know what the incident was I don't know any of it

I could start guessing Please Based off context clues Was he just having a bad day Being an arseole He decided to arsole about He was having a bad day He went to Harry Potter's parents' house

There was an incident And how he got a scar Yeah I don't know I'm guessing that somehow There's been some like beef with the parents because the parents were really special, weren't they? They were, like, fancy.

What? Nothing. Well, why is Harry such a big deal if his parents were just regular people? Not like regular people. They weren't margles. That's the word I know, because people use to describe anyone

who doesn't like a thing they like because they think it makes them sound special. But, no, like, his parents weren't just regular wizards, well, they were special wizards. Yeah, we use the word muggle in the chioshing community. Great.

Do you know who's Snapeers? Alan Rickman? Yes. Yeah. Do you know any more than that he was played by Alan Rickman? So at first it seemed like he was a baddie, but actually he wasn't a baddie. He was just very stern, but his heart was in the right place.

I see. I don't know what you're asking me. You know the broad character arc, but not say his job. The potions, no, dark arts. It was actually potions. Oh. Good work. Yes.

Do you know the four houses? Yeah. Gryffindor, they're the smug ones. They think they're the protagonist of everything, but I bet they're not really. The protagonist of reality, like white men. Slytherin, they seem a lot like white men too. Very ambitious. Eyes on the prize in Slytherin.

Eyes on the prize. Don't care who they take out. Eyes on the prize, and the prize is white supremacier. Yep. Ravenclaw. They are nerds. Yeah, fair. And Hufflepuff.

So everyone else. Everyone else? Everyone else. I do know a really good song about Hufflepuff by the StoryBeast, but that's just a list of mediocre people who were in Hufflepuff. Yeah, look up Hufflepuff Story Beast, because that's very good. It's the only Harry Potter reference I've ever laughed at. Have you got any more questions for me?

It's a big one, but do you know any of the other wizarding schools, apart from the British one? What? Is this news to you? Yeah. It's not just Hogwarts. Given that I don't even think about Hogwarts, Well, why don't think about, they're competitors.

Competitors. It's a free market. I don't know how it works. Fine, they're peers, whatever. No, I don't know. There's other ones. What are their names? I only know the ones that are featured in the books

because she went and added more after the fact. Oh, for Twitter? Dormstrang, which is like the German one. Right. And there's Boe Bottons, which is the French one. Did she add some in other places to make herself look woke? Yeah. Like, oh yeah, actually there was always one in Kenya,

and everyone in the Kenya one is a lesbian, and that's always part of the canon. I bet that's exactly what she did. Pretty much. Yeah. Do you know what a hawkooks is? No, people talk about them all the time, like not in the context of Harry Potter,

and there must be a word that's in the real language that is more relevant. Because if you're not talking about Harry Potter... What's your impression of a hawkooks? No idea. People say it, and I just tune out. I have explained this to you in the past. I tuned out. No, go on, tell me.

What do you think it's related to? Anything? I don't know, is it like a weakness? Yeah, not, not... Like you're a kiddie's heel? Yeah, not wrong per se. Not wrong per se. That's my opinion of the entire franchise. It's not wrong per se.

I don't know. What is it? It's when a wizard splits his or her soul up into bits. That sounds a lot different to a weakness. But by destroying those bits, you can destroy the wizard. That does sound different to a weakness, though. Yeah, but you have to destroy...

They are weakness because if you put your soul into, say, a coffee mug, then someone can just smash that coffee mug and they smash a bit of your soul. Yeah. So it is weaker than having it in your body. Okay, but if you went to an interview, you can say, like, oh, what's your biggest weakness? Like, some of my soul is in this coffee cup. It's not a good idea to disclose your hawkruxes

because then that makes you vulnerable. Not a good idea in a job interview to disclose your actual weaknesses. I'd just say perfectionism and move on. Unless you are a perfectionist. If you are a perfectionist, then what do you use as your all-purpose interview answer? I don't know. Various emotional vulnerabilities. Anyway, have you got any more questions?

Do you know where Wizards do their shopping? Is that in the books? Yeah. God, these books sound boring. Oh, where do they do their show? Diagon Alley! Diagon Alley! Diagon Alley!

There we go, you do now. Yeah, because I used to work somewhere, and we had a thing opposite Ledenhall Market, which is where some of Diagon Alley was filmed. And people I worked with were really cool there, because it was like an artsy place, and so no one would ever say it. But then occasionally I talked to it other people

who didn't work there, and I was like, oh yeah, no, we've got this place, and blah, blah. They're like, oh my God, like Harry Potter! And I was like, do you know me but at all? I don't know. I understand it was used for Harry Potter, but do you think I'm excited? Clearly not. No, Diagon Alley.

And Diagon Alley leads on to... Ledenhall Market? Nocturn Alley. That's where the dark shops are. Do you know what I dislike as much as I dislike Harry Potter? When people do a pun run on Facebook, like when someone writes something, then everyone's like, I've got a pun, and the pun run is always about bread. It's like never not about bread.

like they're on a roll. Is it dough? And I feel like... See, these are great. And I feel like Diaguen Alley and Nocturn Alley is the same basic, boring, tedious premise. Well done, you did a pun. Did it come up organically?

No. A pun that comes up organically is a thing of joy. A pun where it's just like relentless. Do you know what Quidditch is? Yeah, it's the game of the broomsticks. Do you know how it's played? I don't know how real games are played. I'm not a team's.

sports person. I like yoga and running and things I can do on my own. So no, I don't know how Quidditch is played. Lots of universities have Quiddish societies, don't they? That's not real Quidditch because they can't actually fly. I don't think I need to disclose my opinions on that. I think everyone can tell and there's no need to be offensive for no reason. Have you got any more questions? Do you know why how he was called the boy who lived? Because he lived and his parents died? Yeah, that's pretty much right. Well, I mean, that one's pretty on the nose.

Why was he called the boy who lived? But I know that he lived. He did live. Lived, A. And I know the writing quality is pretty poor, so it won't be something complicated. No, I think that's good for now. Okay. Thanks for sharing your Harry Potter knowledge with us.

Maybe on our next down week, I'll find some cultural reference that you don't understand but at all, or we can discuss that. Yeah? That's like a good idea. Okay, cool. Thanks for listening. Thanks. Bye.