You Are Being Unreasonable - Bonus - In which we take a cosy autumnal trip to see the grans

Episode Date: November 28, 2019

A bonus episode in which we pop in on GransNet for a catch-up with the grans. Bad language on TV, pineapple pies, grans at death metal concerts, granny ticket scalpers, and cold-calls from funeral directors: we get into what's afflicting the grans nowadays.

I feel fantastic And I never felt as good as how I do right now Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day When I felt the way that I do right now Hello Hello, welcome to You Are Being Unreasonable The podcast about people being unreasonable On usually mumsnet.com

But today? We've got an off week special again. Yeah, it's Grandsnet. Grandsnet, the home of the lovely Grans. We did a grandsnet once before And it was charming. Oh, we love Grandsnet. net. Yeah. So with the day's drawing in, we thought we'd curl up with the grans, get some cocoa

and catch up with them. What is cozier than a gran? That's what I want to know. Good question. Cozy is a gran. We're going to do a quick speed round. Am I being unreasonable by refusing to get a mobile phone? No. You can do fine with a landline. Am I being unreasonable? I probably am being a bit unreasonable. Oh, self-awareness. Am I being unreasonable To think that the appalling behaviour in Parliament is reflecting the general mood

When it should be trying to set an example To improve relations with each other What a good, gran What a lovely gran What a good and articulate gran With that, let's do the first thread, shall we? Am I being unreasonable? Bad language

I've just come to bed early Leaving the other half watching the doubling murders He said it had a good write-up How many horrible phrases and unpleasant words were in the first? first 10 minutes. I kept going till about halfway, but really, do we have to listen to that? Well, the answer is no. We don't have to. We can switch off or leave the room. Am I being unreasonable? That poor gran. Do we have to? No, we don't. No, I can leave the room. Or switch it off.

Husband, I'm going to bed. I don't have to listen to this. Something that I'm mindful of is that grand's net is for grand, but to be a grand, you wouldn't need to be that old. True. Like, your parents are grandparents. Yeah. So, in my mind, all these people are like 93, but it's entirely possible that this person is in their 50s. Yeah, and he's just upset about the bad, bad language on the Dublin murders. Do we have to listen to that? No.

Fecking this and fecking that. Someone said, it was really good. I can't say I noticed the bad language. Must have just rolled off me. You are being just a bit unreasonable. Like, if this was mum's net, people would be like, you're so unreasonable, but they're supposed to tone it down. It's not for babies. Oh, I didn't know that they were the wiggles now.

Whereas on this, they're like, it's actually very good, and you are being a little bit unreasonable, I think. If you can get past the language, it's really a very good narrative. Mark Komode's review on the Witt attainment podcast of The Good Liar with Dame Helen Mirren and Sir Ian McKellon. Yeah. Was a negative review, but he said that Ian McKellon often uses the worst word that you can use. So, despite this bad, bad film,

I'm quite tempted to see it because I want to see Ian McAllen using the bad, bad word. Can you imagine charming Sir Ian McCallon? I imagine that it would sound like a different word than a different meaning. Yeah, coming out of his voice. Yeah, I'm tempted to see it. Yeah. But I imagine sooner or later someone will make an edit where it's just every instance of Ian McKenlin saying that word. Yeah.

And we can just watch that. Does he specify what the worst word that you can say is? Because I have just realised I'm assuming one word, which is a swear, but actually it's probably the worst word is probably a different word, which is a slur. It's not the slur from context. I'm assuming it's the worst word. Yeah, so if it's the swear, then definitely, like... Yeah, I think it's funny that we've definitely used the word on other podcasts,

but here, in the presence of the grands, it doesn't feel right. Oh yeah, I use that word to describe everyone. Out of respect for the Grans, we're not going to use it. No. You know what we mean. We all know what we mean. Lots of people have said that they didn't notice the bad language. Someone said, I don't like bad language either, but if it's relevant to the story, I will put up with it.

I've recorded the program to watch of my other half. Now I've been warned what to expect, I'll not be shocked. Which is very sweet. That's what you need. You can steal yourself for it, like with rating. like with BBCC ratings. Yeah, and then the original poster came back and said,

That's interesting. I must have a low threshold. I did wonder if it was just me because I've noticed that they made more series, so it must be popular. I suppose it's a personal choice, really. I used to switch off Stepto and some because it was unpleasant,

and that was mild by today's standards. I bet it was crap. Oh, I hope she doesn't think that crap is a terrible word. Yeah, this podcast is, we've just lost a load of ground. Oh no. They've switched off. But most of these brands don't mind the bad language if they think the content is good.

So hopefully we're keeping them with our great content. Someone else has said, My ex taught me about swearing. He used to call me lazy, selfish, ugly, but he never swore. It really intimidated me and ground me down. Billy Connolly swears all the time, but he is never offensive. I'm glad swearing is becoming more mainstream. Yeah, fucking A.

Oh, dearie, mate. Right. Should we move on? And we're being unreasonable, pineapple pies. I'm feeling nostalgic. Help needed. I was thinking about some lovely pastry in a cake with a pineapple top and or possibly jam. We had those when I was home. I remember getting them at home when I was young.

They were lovely. I had no idea when I last had one. Has anyone seen them in recent years? So cute. Everything on here is just charming. Mary Barry must have a recipe for a pie. pineapple pie. Oh, I would imagine so.

She, yeah. I know the kind of pies this person means, because we used to have those cakes. When I was a boy, growing up in North, these pineapple cakes with the pineapple on top, like a full pineapple ring. Oh. Or many pineapple rings.

I remember. What you're describing sounds like pineapple upside down cake. Is it like a sponge? I think it is what I'm describing. A sponge with pineapple rings sort of... Embedded in... Yeah, layered on top. Yeah.

Baked in. Yeah. Yeah. But this description mentions. pastry and then someone's posted a picture of something different. And it is about a pie, and a pie is different from a cake, as we know. I think it would be remiss of us to assume that a grand would know the difference between a pie and a cake.

A grander knows the difference between a pie and a cake. That's the thing, when your first grandchild is born, no matter what your interests have been up until that point. You're furnished with the knowledge of what is a pie and what is a cake. They send you the manual in the mail, and that's Chapter 1. Yeah. Apparently they're easy to get in the west of Scotland. Oh, there you go.

You also get raspberry ones. Great. Now people are just reminiscing. Oh, oh, so cute. Leon's used to make a pineapple tart in a little cardboard box. Other flavours, too. I had them for my school packed lunch in the 50s. Love the pineapple one best.

Haven't seen them for decades. Oh, what happened to the pineapple ones? Oh, yeah, and then there's just a lot of pictures of them. There's a general lexion coming up. Don't go for the toys. Yeah. And I think that parties could, you know, make some headway with the older people by promising to bring back these pineapple pies.

Yeah. If Jeremy Corbyn came out of his allotment tomorrow, we're a load of pineapples, said, I've made pies for everyone who votes labour. He does make jam. That's the thing we know to be true about Jeremy Corbyn. He makes jam. And also, didn't he go on Momsnet for and ask anything? And someone was like, what's your favourite biscuit?

And he was like, I don't really like biscuits. And they're like, oh, you're such a boring cunt. There's the word. Because that's what happens on mum's net. Yeah. Not appropriate for Grandinette, but in terms of mum's net, fine. Very standard. If you brought out some pineapple pies and said,

these are for anyone who votes Labour, we'll be sweeping in to defeat the Tories. And these seem like the sort of honest people who would say, no, I'm not going to vote Labour, so I won't take a pie. Yeah. And then you know which people to really target. Yeah. You're like, okay, the pie hasn't won you round,

but can we talk about the policy? Yeah, where some bloody toys would take a pie and then vote to her. Yeah. Because they're two-faced charlatans who can't be trusted to run the country, don't vote toy. And Mumsnets, people on Mumsnet would lie to get a pie, but people on Grands Net, certainly... People on Grands Net would never lie to get a pie. No. Good people.

Yeah. Should we do another thread? Am I being unreasonable? Friend booked surprise concert, don't want to go. Best and oldest friend has special anniversary soon, has booked meal in a nice hotel for 10 of us. also booked a tribute concert Can't say which one in case I'm recognised but it's very loud

We went with them last year The way we were asked we couldn't say no And I got through it with earplugs My husband did not enjoy Last time he visited She told me so that I would know to bring earplugs It's going to be a surprise for the others I would be interested in hearing views

I'm not looking forward to this I prefer to give her the cost and not go It's so awkward I would never book something that might not be someone's taste. I know she means well. She is a very kind person. So your grand friend has booked you tickets to death metal. Yeah, that's what I'm picturing.

Like Metallica. Yeah, but a tribute act for Metallica. Yeah, tribute Metallica. Yeah. I mean, I would be down for seeing 10 grands at a tribute Metallica. But the thing that I need to keep reminding myself is that grands aren't necessarily 93. No. So...

No, it's true. Grands were probably into Metallica. Yeah, the grands are more... Like when Metallica were more relevant. Yeah, it makes more sense for a grand be into Metallica than a teenager, for example. Yeah, that's true. So...

Enter Sandman, enter Grand Man. If you were... I don't know, let's say if you were in your 20s when Green Day first got big and you had a kid young, and then they had a kid young, you could be going to a Green Day tribute act and be a grand. Yeah. And like, you wouldn't have had to have had your kid super young. just like young-ish for what's become the norm.

Yeah, wake me up when it's time for tea. Yeah. So, the Grandinette Massive, they're going to see Blue Day. And one of them is taking earplugs because she does not want to go. No. Husband did not enjoy it. She would never book something that might not be to someone's taste. But then you'd never book anything, surely.

Yeah, you've got to take a punt on it. Maybe they'll like the Limp Biscuit concert. Yeah. Yeah, the assertion that she would never book something that might not be to someone's taste suggests that she never books anything, so maybe she should reflect on the fact that at least her friend is trying to make an effort.

Yeah, I think it was... But then she does say that she knows her friend means well because she is a very kind person. I think the important thing is to tell that to your friend. Just have a conversation about it, and I'm sure she'll understand and find someone else to go to the Metallic concert with. Well, it sounds like she's already booked ten tickets,

so she might have exhausted all the people she can take. Oh, I'm sure she can scam. What, like ticket touting outside? Yeah. A grand at their special anniversary day out, doing some ticket touting. I would much rather buy dodgy tickets off a charming grand than, you know, a dodgy young man. I have not seen a young ticket tout in my life. Yeah, that's true.

Ticket tout's a grandfather age, like. Yeah, yeah. But I'd rather buy it from a grand. Yeah, it's good to support older women. have had a hard time what with the moving retirement age I can see why they've turned to ticket touting yeah so actually it turns out that she has told her that she wouldn't have enjoyed it without the earplugs

but she wasn't able to go as far as saying even with the earplugs I didn't enjoy it and now she's backed herself into a corner which she's owned up to and said yeah it's my own fault for not being up front the first time I just didn't see how this would ever come up again so it seemed easier what are the odds yeah am I being unreasonable cold calls from funeral direct Anyone think cold calling from funeral directors is wrong? I know many people want to pre-pay and plan their funerals,

but cold calling seems one step too far and could be very upsetting for some. They have no idea who they're calling in their personal circumstances. Hmm. You wouldn't think you'd have to cold call as a funeral director. Like, surely the business just comes to you. Yeah. Everyone's dying. Everyone dies. It's true, everyone does die.

So just wait. But I suppose if you're trying to get people to prepay. You want guaranteed income. Yeah. I mean, it is a good idea to sort out your funeral plans in advance. Sure. So I am not a grand. No, that's...

Nor of grand age. Yep. But I've planned my funeral. So I can see that it could be helpful to... It's different if you're selling the service. Yeah, I was going to say, have you made these plans because someone cold called you? Yeah. Well...

Cooperative funeral care got me on. the phone. Well, no, this seems very bad. Yes, I am interested in knowing about your low-cost caskets. How cheap can you go? How low can you go? Six feet under. Oh. Let's hear from the Grans. Someone says, oh, I think getting a call from them would send a shiver up my spine. We get a lot of recorded cold calls now, and I always bar them, but somehow they keep on coming. No, I wouldn't want a recorded call. I wouldn't want a robot. telling me I need to plan for my death because that's the Terminator. That's the plot of the Terminator. Ring ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Have you planned your funeral? Oh no. We can help you

plan your funeral. Oh, why? Press 1 to plan your funeral. I can't know. Press 2 to plan your funeral. Press 3 to plan your funeral. Please stop. Press 4 to plan your funeral. We can help you plan your funeral Oh no Press 1 for prices Oh no Et cetera But if I just happened to be at home

And the landline rang And it was a recorded message About planning my funeral I would be like Is the call coming from inside the room though Yeah Is it a very considerate killer That's nice

Yeah Good for the killer to think about the funeral Yeah, like, it'll be hard enough for the people left behind when they find out that they were killed in cold blood in their own home. But it'd be good if they didn't have to worry about these other things. If these cold-cold are from serial killers, I'm against that. Yeah. I think code-calling is bad.

Serial killers is a business just like any other, but... Cold-calling, no. Outrageous! It's quite bad enough watching some daytime TV channels, obviously meant for the elderly, with all the ads for equity release, funeral planning, life insurance, recliner chairs and cruises. Well, one of these things is not like the other. The cruise business must have really done some bad PR.

Cruise into the afterlife, into the sunset. Sunset cruises. We take the ship out to international waters and sink it. Yeah, we're going on a Hades River Cruise. Right down the sticks. Never forget to tip the ferryman. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello.

Hello, this is Hades River Cruises. Oh, no. Would you like to plan a Hades River cruise? No. Our records indicate that you'll be participating in a Hades River cruise in the next five to ten years. Please no. You can prepay for your Hades River Cruise now. Why are you showing me the spirit?

And we'll just take the last comment that I'll read from this thread that I enjoyed is someone said, tell them to drop dead. There we go. I seem as a joke because they're funeral directors, but that is brutal. Brutal from the brands Thanks Grans The Grans have done it again Those lovely grands

The lovely Grans of Gransnet It's always a pleasure isn't it It is But normally we go into Mum's Net Yeah If you want to hear us Going to Mum's Net Listen to You are being unreasonable

Every other Thursday on this feed Yeah you don't need to sound quite so worn down by it But It's just It's nice to take a little holiday to Gransnet Once in a while but we can't live here It's a shame isn't it It's like when we go somewhere that's not London

and I don't have to use an inhaler for a week. Yeah. And then I come back and I'm like, well, where are my inhalers? Yeah. It's just nice to be able to breathe once in a while. Yeah, it is. Well, thank you for listening. Thanks for listening.

Thanks, Grans. Thanks, Grans. Bye. Bye.