You Are Being Unreasonable - YABU Live 13th December 2018 - In which we do a festive live podcast recording

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

"My measure of success is how many people you can coax into a basement on a Thursday night while you just read stuff that other people have written on the internet." We're simply having a reasonable Christmas time! This is the recording of our live show performed at the Chapel Playhouse on Grays Inn Road in London as part of their preview events. Thanks to everyone for coming and to the Chapel Playhouse for hosting us. For the holidays, we get our 'small relatives' dozens of paintings of horses as Christmas presents, we put our own decorations on someone else's corporate tree, we add the Minions to the nativity to pad out the story, we set up upstairs-downstairs Christmas trees to enforce good ol' British class divisions, we thoroughly review SheIn-brand loungewear suitable for gifts, and we leave a crate of beer for bin-men with binny-hands and man-buns.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. Hello. Hello. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Welcome to the recording of our live show which took place on Thursday the 13th of December

by putting this out as a Christmas special. Yep, big thanks to the Chapel Playhouse for having us as their first preview event before opening in January. And thank you to everyone who came along. Yeah, thanks to the people who did the box office and helped out with setting up and stuff like that. It was really good night, and we hope you enjoy it.

Yeah, thanks a lot. Thanks. Merry Christmas. Enjoy! Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to our first ever live recording of You Are Being Unreasonable, a podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com. That's right. If you haven't heard the podcast before, we usually record it in our living room rather than a space underneath a bar. It is a particularly interesting space, and I feel like our listeners are missing out on a treat. So when we got here, it was set up like it was in a way day. And I mean, it's still sort of like it's the wayday, but we've moved the chairs around a bit and put out some mince pies and dimmed the lights.

Yeah, so now it's like a cabaret style of wayday. Yeah, it's a little bit like the episode of the podcast where someone was worried they were going to a show and seemed to think that it would all be cabaret seating like Seinfeld. We were like, no show is like that. That's ridiculous. But that's what we've done. So thanks for coming. And I hope you're enjoying meeting your neighbours. And we'll get cracking. So what we do on the podcast is we, well, Hells reads Freds from the Mum's Net,

Am I Being Unreasonable Boards, A-I-B-U boards, where people go and post their questions about whether they're being reasonable or unreasonable in their day-to-day lives. And we decide for them, because we're the best people to judge. Yeah, so we are two people with no children and two cats and no real understanding of the world. But you've chosen to listen, so you obviously trust us. Thank you. So we usually start with a speed round. We do.

The speed round is just the thread titles. And then Simon makes a snap decision on whether they're reasonable or unreasonable without having any understanding of nuance or context. It's very topical in that way. But since we have more people here than just me, we want you to shout out whether they're being reasonable or unreasonable. Okay. So, am I being... Are you ready? Ready?

Am I being unreasonable to think horrid? Henry's parents are the horrid ones? No. No. No. Am I being unreasonable a United Island? No. That sounds great.

Yes. Am I being unreasonable, family? Yes. Yes. Am I being unreasonable bad teacher? No. No. Yes.

Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to be slightly disappointed with wedding photos? Yes. Yeah, I guess not. You spent a lot of money on them. I guess so. And we'll do one last one for this round. Am I being unreasonable to ask,

when is the best day to go Christmas food shopping? Yes. Yeah, you shouldn't know that by now. Figure it out. It's Christmas Eve. It's obviously Christmas Eve. It's definitely Christmas Eve. It's just the best day.

No one will be around because it's Christmas Eve. But yeah, go on Christmas Day to a petrol station. Yeah. and see what you can get there because that's the plot of every definitely worth watching film so in the spirit of christmas all of these threads are about christmas mumsnet goes absolutely mad at christmas time i don't know why they made a christmas board to move all of this like shit off of am i being unreasonable because of all the grinches who were like no i need somewhere that's purely about parking but um no the christmas threads they just

power through there's no getting past it let us begin with our first ridiculous Christmas threat. Am I being unreasonable to say something about religious nativity play? The DC gave to a private day nursery. It doesn't have a religious affiliation. It was their Christmas play today. They did a loose version of the nativity. And then, at the end, there was a bit of a recitation.

And that baby Jesus grew up to do amazing miracles. He died to save all the people in the world. Christians believe he came back from the dead and everyone who finds Jesus will be happy. D.D., who is under four, is now asking, what does it mean Jesus died? And should we go and look for Jesus? And we're being unreasonable to mention to the nursery management

that this has resulted in some awkward conversations and maybe next year they could choose something non-religious, bearing in mind that many of the families that use the nursery aren't believe in Christians. I really like the question, should we go look for Jesus? this kid's going to go out with a little bindle on their back and search the land do a pilgrimage and find Jesus somewhere out there

I like the kid's literal and detailed understanding of language anyone who finds Jesus they're like got to catch them all like find Jesus I think that's advanced for a kid who's under four you know saints go on your phone so you can find all the saints throughout the world it's Jesus a saint or something more

probably something more Messiah go Messiah go Yeah Well there's really only been one one true Messiah So you're really only looking for the one Am I being unreasonable to say something like this religious podcast recording

It's Christmas time else Yeah I mean there's a lot to unpick here So firstly it's the nativity If there's ever a time where maybe it's going to be a bit religious It's probably the nativity at Christmas Yeah then the nativity has religion baked sort of into it

Because it's about the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Quite literally the reason for the season. Yeah. Like, come on. It's putting the Christ in Christmas. Yeah. Then goes on to say they did a loose version of the Nativity. I don't know what makes it loose.

I don't know. Like, was it just all sort of free form and there was... You know what like nurseries are. They had like whatever's popular at the time, like minions and, you know, the Grinch. Llamas are pretty cool at the moment. Llamas. But actually that seems quite fitting.

That was a bad example. Horrid Henry. You know, they had all kinds of shit. Yeah. Just to pad out the story. Because it's quite thin, really. Two people go to a stable, have a baby. Bish-bash-posh.

I mean, yeah, it's a big day for them, isn't it? But in general. Yeah, not much story there. So then they've done this free-form, loose nativity. And then do you think the teachers were like, oh, crap, we forgot about the reason? And then they made them recite. This bit they recited is really long.

These are really impressive four-year-olds. I imagine the children are sort of doing their bow, you know, and bowing at the end and, you know, getting the applause. And a teacher runs on stage and grabs the mic. And that baby Jesus grew up to do amazing miracles. He died to save all the people in the world. Again, also, sorry. So the AP, blah, blah, blah.

Should I complain? Some people aren't Christians. But the bit they recite says, Christians believe this. That's just a fact. You can have your objections. You can be all dorkins about it. Christians believe that Jesus was a big deal. It's just a fact.

Yeah, the fact is, some people believe it. You can't argue with that. Should we hear what the thread has to say? Please. It's a kid's nativity. I don't see anything wrong in it. It is the main reason for Christmas. Just answer the questions.

Why are they awkward? Just answer the questions. Where's Jesus? Where is it? Tell us where he is. We know you know him. That is awkward though, isn't it? Someone's just said,

literally one small conversation you have to have with your child and some people believe in the life of death and Jesus, others don't. I don't really, the whole thread is just like, why is this so awkward for you? Yeah, this is like early religious education, right? People do religious education in schools.

It's not nice to let a small child down there. You don't want to be the one who says to the child, like, I know that finding Jesus will make you happy, but we aren't going looking. Is that the spirit of Christmas? If we don't go looking, it's like those missionaries who, you know, went out to some far country and found some tribe and told them about Jesus. And the tribe asked, if you hadn't told us about Jesus,

then would we go to, would we have gone to hell? And they said, no, of course not. And they're like, so why did you tell us? You prove it at all. Yeah, it's like that, but for the kid. someone here has said at easter i got questions like what does being crucified mean from my preschoolers why would you go to a preschool and be like and then he was crucified and give no context just assume that this is language they understand yeah probably best to just say he died

what you need is the language that my cousin who is now a grown adult who i hope will never listen to this had when he was a small child and said you know what happened to jesus they nailed him up That's how you explain this. Nailed him up, didn't they? Nailed him up. And that Jesus, they nailed him up. Should we move on? Let's move on. Before we move on, I was very concerned with, because we're moving out of our living room

and doing this in a wider space, that people would see how shambolic the recording is. And I wanted to look like audio professionals. So I've made us some festive-themed jingles, if you wouldn't mind. That seems very reasonable. All right, excellent. So, we'll have interstitial jingles as we go between things, like a proper broadcast. Saying that, like, you're really teaching me a lesson.

Whoops. See, the volume's too low. Like a proper broadcast. That was good, I really enjoyed that, thank you. Am I being unreasonable about my Christmas gift choice for this ungrateful child? I have a small relative, aged eight, who I buy a Christmas and birthday gift for every year. And every time he opens a gift, he whispers to his parent that, I've already got this, or I don't like this. he is encouraged by his parent to say thank you

which he does this Christmas I have bought him a dressing gown I was going to spend a lot of time choosing him a suitable gift as I usually would but as I usually miss the mark with this child I thought I'd just save my time as he's probably going to hate it anyway am I being unreasonable

I think the kid who is whispering I hate this is being more unreasonable I think there's a big difference between a kid saying I already have this and a kid saying I don't like this I already have this like that's a thing that you learn not to say yeah I mean but it's not in and of itself rude coming

from a child kids are kids they don't have any emotional intelligence wow that's a big claim again we only have cats we don't have they do not have any emotional intelligence who assume is the same I once got a dressing gown for Christmas. The one you still wear? No. Oh. And I was really excited by it because when I was a kid I effectively wanted to be McCauley Colkin

from home alone. Yeah. And he had a dressing gown in that and they got my parents got me the same dressing gown. But that sounds like a really well thought through gift and they were like, oh, he loves that. I was well excited. Loved it. Also you are one of the cozy men. You do like to be cozy.

I am one of the cozy men, it's true. Yeah. I've got a card. Whereas this seems, this almost seems like she's been like, what would an eight-year-old really not want, a dressing gown? Great. It seems like this element of malice to it. I feel like thought has gone into what to get just to ruin the kid's day.

Yeah, it seems like this person is aiming at getting the response, I hate this. And that's no way to treat a kid. No, and also, I think it would be hard to have such strong feelings about a dressing gown. That's more of a like, oh, okay. I loved my dressing gown. Yeah, but again, additional context. Because I wanted to be Macaulay cooking.

I don't anymore, he's sort of gone off the rails a bit. He seems happy enough. More successful than me, but, you know. Yeah. It depends how you measure success. Thanks. We don't know how many cats he has. I mean, my measure of success is how many people you can coax into a basement on a Thursday night.

Yay. just read stuff that other people have written on the internet and we're doing just great we are yeah I mean I think it is unreasonable to set out to get a gift that a kid isn't going to like I can see why she's a bit like worn down by the whole thing it's weird that they say small relative I have a small relative it does make me wonder if maybe the gifts are weirdly inappropriate this is just someone who is a little bit terrible themselves like maybe all of the gifts are just things that you don't get a child, but they don't seem to comprehend child, so they're like small relative. Yeah.

They're like, what would a small person, like an espresso cuff, because that's small. People like coffee. I went into the department store and I asked the clerk, I have a small relative, what can I get there? And they recommended a small dressing gown for a small adult. Yeah, I mean, I suspect. that the O.P. isn't all there. I don't know. You can say that about a lot of the Ops on him. Yeah, I mean, if you were

all there, would you really bother asking a load of strangers what to do about a small relative, or would you just be like, I don't know, I'll just go on Google, gifts for eight-year-olds, bam. Sort by price, low to high. The kids are going to hate it anyway. One pound, done.

Getting to deliver direct to their address. Don't engage. Don't engage. I don't know. I think there's something weird about this. I don't have any small relatives, so I don't know what to buy for any of them. You have small relatives. Yeah, and I definitely didn't just search for gifts for age range.

That would be cold and weird. So, anyway, the thread... Let's see what the thread have said. I don't think you're being unreasonable to buy him a dressing gown, but is it really not occurred to you to ask his parents what he might like in eight years? It's probably a good idea. Kid needs to do an Amazon wish list. Maybe that's the point when we find out

that this small relative is just like a tiny grown-up and they are there like asking for a French press and a tofu press, a trouser press. Make some coffee in their dressing gown and drink espresso in their dressing gown. Why waste your money on something he'll hate like a dressing gown spend us and get something cheap and cheerful?

I think that's good advice. Someone said, get him a selection box. I mean, fine. That doesn't seem comparable. If someone expects a full-size present. I mean, the kid is ungrateful anyway. Yeah, I saw a Xenbox is not a full-size present. But I feel like there are adults here, and you don't want to start some weird thing

where they're like, why have you done this? Do you hate my kids? And then you're like, oh, actually, yeah. And this. Like, don't do anything that makes it really obvious. Just get something that's about the appropriate price range. And move on. Buy him a goat from Oxfam.

A kid like that will appreciate it. it. Look at the joy in his dear wee face as he gets it. I can't tell if that's sarcastic or not. Look at the joy in his dear wee face as he gets it. Because he gets a photo of a goat. I already have a photo of a goat. At any point you're framed photo of a goat. This is Gerald. Gerald is my goat. I used to teach English as a foreign language in Poland and I had this student and she was really, really sweet, but she was too sweet to have a really stand up.

for herself ever. It was obvious. And I was talking to her at Christmas time and I was like, oh, like, you know, what do you do at Christmas? What sort of presents do you get? She was like, when I was little, I really liked horses and now every year someone gets me a painting of a horse. And I was like, every year, that's cool. Kasha, aren't you my age? I was 203 at the time. And Kasha was like, I'm older than you. And I was like, Kasha, how many paints of horses do you have? And Kasha was like, I don't know. I was like, Kasha, why don't you just say you don't want pictures of horses?

And she's like, I did, and everyone thought it was a joke. Yeah, and this is the living room. This is the bathroom. And this is the gallery of horse paintings. It's just a bed with Kasha lying, and it looking really sad, surrounded. Gaze upon my 28 horse paintings. Yeah.

Maybe she could start doing that for this. get like every year just get him a goat get him a goat oh if he's going to say I've already got this you should just get the same thing every year anyway like yeah no I think you know it all but I knew that already kid small relative I don't know it just seems like I'm sure that it's upsetting when you've gone to all this time and effort and then a child seems ungrateful but he is a child I feel like she shouldn't be stooping to this level of trying to upset the child with a dressing gown it's super weird I don't care for it I think if you're controversial but I think

if you're trying to upset a child you're in the wrong especially at Christmas especially at Christmas time okay is the OPE being unreasonable yes someone just said no

senting voice from the audience the person who thinks that you should try to upset a child Christmas is the kid unreasonable yeah but kids are unreasonable Yeah, we've covered that time and time again Yeah, in the same way that fox is

unreasonable just because they are I'm not comparing kids to foxes Let's hear more of you jingles Let's The hood is right The spirit song We're here tonight And that's enough

a reasonable Christmas time I liked that one a lot Like professional broadcasters That's what we're aiming for That's what breakfast shows do, don't they? They just get jingles And they're like, there we go, got a jingle, got a breakfast show Yeah

Yeah Maybe we should do this to a breakfast show I don't want to get up that early. Am I being unreasonable or is it rude to put decorations on somebody's tree? I've come into work this morning and our cleaner has added a bunch of decorations to our trees which has slightly annoyed me.

She's very kind and generous and I'm not going to say anything to upset her but I wondered if my reaction was normal. For what it's worse, to avoid drip feeding, we started putting it up on Saturday but in between customers so it wasn't finished. We were going for a very specific colour coordination and the decorations added do not tie in with it. The decorations are all edible. Chocolate and candy canes and we are

supposed to be promoting healthy eating so it clashes with a core value of the organisation. But I do have a stinking cold and I'm feeling quite cranky and that may have affected my initial reaction. So the cleaner brought decorations from home? It sounds that way because if it doesn't go with the organisational values, I don't know why you'd have them there and like a big box marks like bad bad edible decorations do not eat do not put on tree

for food shaming purposes only like yeah I'm guessing she brought them from home and they're going for a very specific colour coordination cannot emphasise this enough very specific I really want to know what this business is

like I really want to know what this business is probably like a healthy eating charity it's what I assumed yeah you think it's a charity customers I think it's like a Holland and Barrett I would quite like it get to Holland and Barrett it was all just like Cadbury's and In that case you want to decorate in you know

Holland and Barrett colours That's just Christmas tree colours That's an undecorated tree Which are off the top of my head green Yeah It's quite a festive green as well as I recall For surely if it's work It's not even her own personal tree

No This isn't worth getting angry Just eat them Like that's the way to get rid of these decorations just eat them. Just binge on them. Customers are coming in, you're covering the shop,

and you're coming out, oh, I remember that's at the cleaner. Oh no. It's not like they've thrown a load of baubles and tinsels everywhere. You can just eat them.

That's the way to get rid of them. That's how you should get rid of everything. Even if it was baubles. Yeah. Oh. Just eat your problems. Just panic, yeah. Yeah.

I think that's a very healthy attitude. I mean, that's not healthy eating. or healthy in anyway, but sure. I don't understand. But did the cleaner come in and see the tree wasn't decorated and then go out? Or did the cleaner come in already with decorations? So even if it had been fully done,

the cleaner had just been piling it on like Bukaroo. It's like, keep on going. Because if the cleaner came in, saw that it was only half done and didn't realize that there was something going on, the cleaner was probably like, oh, this is just sad. All these poor folk. They saw the specific colour coordination and thought,

no. maybe they're like me and they thought like it's Christmas it's the it's the one time that tacky and tacky and tacky on top of tacky is the most appropriate theme like that's the theme for my existence and wardrobe but like most of the time that's sort of frowned upon but I feel like Christmas is a time for tacky the phrase campers Christmas surely suggests that you don't have to be all I don't know I'm guessing it was probably all like Hessian and charcoal yes yes very subtle yeah My thing with Christmas trees is you can't just decorate one side more than the other side.

Like you... That's literally what we did because we didn't have enough decorations. Yeah, but I didn't like doing it. You're supposed to decorate all sides equally and then just decide which is the front. You're not front loading the front as it were. I'm sorry. Never mind. Done now.

Maybe I'll just hang loads and loads of chocolate on the back of the tree. Well then, how are we going to get to it? You're a grown-up! The tree's only about 18 inches high. It's not beyond the round's possibility to just lift it up. I don't like candy canes. I'm going to throw that out there. Who likes candy canes?

Hands up? No one. It could be a stable. Are they? Yeah. Why? Often they just broke part in the head. That sounds gross.

How did you find this out? At what point did you see an old candy? So it's like August, and you're like, oh, I mean I hate these normally. Just like one or two months' day off. It's like a vintage that you need. You just see a little Christmas tree for a month and it tastes great. Why is your Christmas tree still up? No, I'm not here to judge you.

I'm here to judge them. The anonymous people. The anonymous people. Yeah, no one liked candy. Caines. So, candy canes are not edible because no one's going to eat them. Yeah, and if anything, they do promote healthy living because you're like, oh, candy cane, man, I need an orange. Ugh, I don't want to eat that. Yeah. I like that at the end of all of this, I wish that more posts had this, but it's like, rant, rant, ran, I'm so annoyed, blah, blah, blah, here's a really

petty problem. And then at the end, she's like, I've got cold, I'm quite cranky. I like the first response as well. She was most likely trying to help. It seems like a really naive mum's netter on her first day. They're all just, they're all just trying to help. Quite a lot of people are saying, you know, trying to help. Someone said perhaps she felt it was communal, as it's her workspace too, which I think is true. That's a good point. That's...

Yeah, that seems fair enough. Real hierarchy there of whatever this poster does. Yeah, they're not going to have an upstairs, downstairs tree, you know, one for the landed gentry in the Holland and Barrett store, and one for the cleaners in the Holland and Birk still. Just one tree, combine it. Bring it together. Smash the patriarchy. I would go to a shop that had an upstairs, downstairs tree

because I feel like that would at least give you some indication of their honesty about their business practices. There's a transparency to that that I admire. It's like a Fortnum and Mason. They probably have a downstairs tree for the scum. Yeah, it's just, I don't know, like old cloths. Really big bits of lint, like, you know, fluff that have now formed of a bauble.

Yeah, once you've used a rag, just throw it on the tree. It's fine. Yeah. Someone said, eat all the chocolates and replace with your own decorations, win-win,

which is what you said. Except the candy canes. Okay. Don't be a Scrooge. Good advice. Good advice for the festive season. Everyone is just saying, it's not your tree,

and it's not her tree, and you're being screwed, and she was trying to help. And I think that probably sums this up. Should we move on? Sure. I was also concerned in terms of professionalism, most like professional podcasts have adverts and we don't have any sponsors or anyone willing to pay us anything, except these lovely people. Yeah, thank you.

Yay. But we don't have any, you know, real corporate sponsors. Yeah. And that's what we're looking for. Okay. So I wanted to do an ad break just to show that we can. And I wanted to showcase the products of this fine company that you discovered and that I became obsessed with. Okay.

Yeah. let's do that so this company make lounge wear and pajamas and I'm just obsessed with the designs because they are that they're very choice so this one says happy team and he's got a picture of a little stag like I'm sure stags do operate in a team or maybe there's a team that killed the stag can I just point out how desperately unhappy he looks we're going to see that a lot because he does all these loungeware photos. I mean, oh, can you imagine he's like, I've got a job, guys, I'm going to be a model.

He told all these friends and he was like, what is all this shit? I can't show my friends my modelling shots. I like the texture of the pants as well, because that looks like tinsel. Or AstroTurf. Yeah. He is happy to be part of the team. Yeah, okay. The next one.

This one says, express yourself. Espress yourself. I like it. It does not say established 1980. It says EAT1980. What? This one's just plain riddled with errors. Yep.

Like this one should not have got past the copywriter that I assume they employ at this pyjama shop. Yep. This one just says born in the party. It's plain white and black. Great, yeah. Yeah. that's why I try to live my life this one says time

and he's got a picture of a hat and a little moustache so you know father time comes through us all it's good on the pants as well but it's upside down that's a nice touch a good touch

we can see he's looking a little more dead behind the eyes here he looks absolutely shattered like they're like you're doing The lounge wear thing, so can you just make sure you haven't had enough sleep? Because you need to look convincing you like you're ready for bed. He's got on his pajamas.

He's ready for cosy times. He's ready to go to bed. This is one of my favourites. I don't know if you can see this, but this one says, Happy Vlenty Day. And he's got a picture of two bears. What's Flenty Day? We don't know.

Did they mean Valentine's Day? It's hard to say. What's like to do with bears? Is the one at the bottom definitely a bear? It's a little round thing without legs. So it's either a dog without legs or a bear without legs. Either way, I don't want to know. It's garbage, whatever it is.

This one says get you cums and it's got a picture of a jacked cat. This cat is stretching and all over the place. This guy, he's not in many of the photos because he's already dead. this one says relax on time and freedom which is good advice for all of us in this festive period this one says it's for eight men and yet there's only one man in the photo and I think you'd be hard to get even eight small relatives

I don't know that's. That top is awfully low. cut around the armpits. Oh look. No, look. He's definitely four eight men himself. Look at the bottom one there. Oh my. Like, he's pointing at himself.

Like, yep, eight men. Yeah. He's almost as jacked as a cat on the other one. Yeah. This one says, B word, my love, clouds, B, E. I don't know. Is that performance poetry?

This one says fish phone, which I like to think is just this man's name. This is the final one, and I think it explains a lot of what we've seen. This one just says JPEG, Ping, GIF to Vector. And I think this is just the planning document for these t-shirts, because this is nothing. The top of go got a picture of the copy of the copy of characters bevis and butthead. Yeah, so that's our advertising bit.

So advertisers hit us up. Yeah. We can do this for your products. We can show them off. Thanks to our not sponsors. But yeah. Should we have a new thread? This is the final of the threads that I have got lined up.

But then we've got our amazing crowdsourced speed round. So we do. Plenty more fun to come. Am I being unreasonable to leave a crate of beer for the bin men for Christmas? Mum and Dad always left a crate of beer on top of the bin for the bin men at Christmas. I do the same, but it struck me that it might be a bit old-fashioned now. I think Dad thought they'd have a tin or two on the way round, but that wouldn't happen nowadays. And lots of people now are more into microbears slash kombucha, slash small-batch gin.

If I am being unreasonable, what else can I leave that's not edible? Foxes, and eating with binny hands must surely be a no-no. They're easily shared. There's quite a few blokes on the crew. Bin-y-hands. Bin-y-ha-ha- Those bin-y-hands. Yeah, I mean, I used to be into beers, but now I'm into man buns. Yeah, one of those things is not like the other.

What's a micro-man? beer. Does she mean beers from microbreweries? Or does she mean like a little symbol of beer? Little beers. That's what you get a small relative. Exactly. Yeah. Combucha. Could you imagine leaving the bin-bent kombucha? They'll be like, oh, someone's thrown out

this shitty fermented drink, but it just makes inside their bin. I had to look it up because I didn't know what it was. It's a kind of tea made from mushrooms. Is that? That's what I'm getting here. It's fermented. It's got a sort of weirdly vinegory quality. And the people with

man ones drink it. Yes. Okay, that's there we go. Yeah, and a small batch gin. Can we just go back to it as well? I think Dad thought it'd have a beer or two on the way around. Someone's got to drive a bin lorry. Yeah, that's a heavy piece of equipment.

I can't drive anything, but I imagine that even if I could drive something, I don't want to drive a bin lorry, and you definitely shouldn't drive drunk, and you definitely, definitely shouldn't drive a bin lorry drunk. No. that's how people die yeah people die because that bin lorry crashed that was christmas time in glasgow that bin lorry crashed

do you think they've been at the kombucha and the man buns bin at the man buns had a few man buns before going to work I didn't know this was a thing I didn't know you're supposed to leave a present for the bin man yeah if someone left a creative beer on top of our bins I would assume they were throwing out a creative beer because it was a bad beer or whatever

exactly yeah I would also assume that someone would come along and be like, hey, free beer before the bin then got to it, because I think our bins get collected once a fortnight, but that's another story. Hmm. Hmm. Um... I don't think they have binny hands because they wear gloves, right?

Yeah, but I mean, they don't be taking their glove off and then eating something and putting their glove back on and there's a lot of fuffing, isn't it? I don't know why she thinks they have to do it on the round. Like, they could get back to wherever they park up the bin lorry and then share their kombucha and man buns small that chin

it seems like a fat just really inconveniencing them because now someone's got to sit on the front and the thing with it on their lap and then they've got to keep moving it to get out, see the bins Yeah, take them off their gloves using their binny hands

putting back hand Yeah I mean Hey hells When they take off their gloves and they have a beer They have tinny hands it's Christmas Who clasped?

Yep, yep, okay, fair. I don't understand that. Like, this person, how old is this person? Why are they, like, down and off for the kids to know what kombucha is? But not down enough for the kids to know that microbears slash kombucha slash man bunts are not things that would fall within the same category. like if you're doing scatigrees and you were like stuffed the bin member like I don't know where any of these things came from stick with a crate of beer a crate of beer is a great idea I give my mince pies they eat them there and then and they love it so there we go sorry the audience here got mint pies and I'm sorry if any of you really wanted some kombucha or small batch of gin but I mean it was three pounds a ticket you're not getting small batch of gin

So he's either watching the bin man eat the mince pies from the window. Creeping. Or the bin men are coming up to the window to the mince pies while staring at them dead in the post. Maybe the mince pies are inside, maybe the bin, like the bin lorry pulls up and they're like, hey, hey come here, come here. All come into my house, all have a mince pie. Mint pies for everyone. And they're like, right, off you go. Get out.

Except on mums let you never invite anyone into your home. your home and if anyone ever thinks that they might be allowed into your home then you have to start a thread telling everyone that they're a cheeky fucker I invited someone for dinner and they expected to eat it inside my home cheeky fucker yeah so it can't be that I have no idea like why have you seen the original post as a man by the way I'm curious seems like a man thing to do to leave out a crate of beer for the bin men what was a lady thing to do be sherry Just a fimbled of sherry

In those little crystal glasses Yeah Like you'd leave out for Santa We used to leave out Whiskey for Santa It's interesting that Santa Santa gets whatever the adults In the household are into, isn't it?

What? We left out a little sherry And a carrot But we only left out the carrot Until our guinea pig died And then we didn't leave out a carrot anymore it's weird I mean I'm not saying yeah well who knows maybe it was just too painful maybe you didn't want the painful memories at Christmas of all times of your

dead guinea pig just put the carrots and that's how you've lived your life ever since that's why you won't eat carrots mm hmm because sad memories of what was the guinea pig called we had gizmo and then we had maxi mm hmm Simon has just said this and looked to his brother the confirmation that but these are, you have Maxi? Yeah, that was why I was looking for confirmation because Jim currently has a chinchilla called Maxi.

Yeah, I didn't realize, I forgot that we had the called Maxi, but it turns out very unimaginative. See, this is why I was confused because we've had multiple rodents called Maxi. Okay, fair enough. Shall we go back to this ride? I think in this day and age, Alcohol is a gift that needs to be treated with caution.

Quite aside from the fact there may be many religious reasons while your bin men may not be able to drink alcohol, there's also personal preference and recovering alcoholics. A crater fear, whilst a nice intention, seems a tad divisive. No, I haven't a better suggestion. Great, great. Thanks, D.G. Rossetti for the most unhelpful post on all of Mumsnet, which is really going some.

Great contribution. And then the person beneath that I said, totally stealing this idea Our bin men go above and beyond Stop leaving so much stuff out that your bin meant to go above mid-pot Stop with light a thing And then giving them a can of stella

Once a year and being like Well, jobs are good at it Someone, this is a thing I really enjoy I agree you need to be careful with alcohol That's why mince pies are better Most are veggie and halal these days I am awful being understanding and being inclusive but I have no idea firstly whether or not it's a thing that you buy your bin men a Christmas present

and if you do buy your bin men a Christmas present why are you going into buying a Christmas present under the assumption the person you're buying it for is probably Muslim I don't understand any of this someone I did acknowledge most of the points in your post in my OP but thank you for the overheating hyperbole anyway. Someone else's first day on mums there clearly. Overheated hyperbole should be the name of this podcast. It should. We'll change it for the new year.

New year, new title, lose all our listeners because I don't know what's going on. What's that noise? That happened before when it was just me and Jim down here. We think it's a pipe. Okay. But it's fine. It's fine. I'll cover it up with another jingle.

Okay, let's do this jingle and then we'll do our last speed round. and then everyone's free to go. You're free to go any time. Yeah, it's not a hot situation. But hold on for like ten minutes. Is this the jingle? Sure it is. unreasonable I'm loving these jingles. We need more jingles. I can't believe you've been

holding out of your mad jingle skills. Okay last speed round. So things are the crowdsourced Am I Being Unreasonable Questions? We'll give Simon a chance to answer first but then if you've got any thoughts to just shout them out. Any thoughts at all. I need to be about this. Am I being unreasonable to ask why we don't eat turkey eggs and drink? pig milk? No, very good questions. Like lots of animals produce milk but we focus solely on, you know, cows, goats, sheep. What about, you know, the pigs? Give the pigs a chance. Am I being unreasonable? Being asked to watch my parents bathe their grandchild, it's not a team sport. I just looked around and like definitely made eye contact

with the person who wrote this without meaning too because someone just gave me a real look of like, yeah, it's not. Are they being unreasonable? No, it's not a more than two-person job. It's not more than one person job. How old is the grandchild? I really hope they're baby. Am I being unreasonable, non-mums posting on MumsNet?

Yeah, it's Mums only. It's not, though, is it? Mums and transphobes, only. I like, I like, I like, there's Mums and there's not Mums. people on mums that get really angry that one time the Green Party had a thing and it was like all non-men are eligible for this thing and what they meant was like men have loads of structural privilege

and we understand that gender isn't binary and blah blah blah but now people are constantly like well the Green Party called me a not man once so I'm never voting for them again it's like why do you care so much and I feel like this mums and not mums is even more going to feed into that I'm going to actually post this on mums there

just to see what people are doing Gotta keep yourself amused. Are we being unreasonable, I always choose odd job in Golden Ice 64. Yes, that's obviously unreasonable. He's overpowered. It's like Gannendorf in the new Smash Bros. I hear you can just devastate people with Gannendorf in the new Smash Bros. It's not fair.

It's not fair. It's like being towed in Mario Kart. It's not fair or reasonable. At least it's not Captain Barco clone anymore. That's true. Falcon punch. Maybe Naya was pretty quick in Nio Corp. Yeah, but he's no Toad, is it?

Toad's body is made of the mushrooms that you pick up to go quicker. So obviously he's gonna go quicker. He's a perpetual source of fuel. He's an infinite engine. Defying all physics there. Incredible. I'm mad as hell at this, am I being in music? Can I ask who wrote this?

I just wanted to check whether it was someone to sit out to troll Simon and I suspect, yes, yes it was. Monsters. Am I being unreasonable to tell my DD that there is no dog poo fairy? I think that's my dad's handwriting. Can't believe this is how you told me. Yeah, I'm learning now that they're... I'm heartbreak. It's Christmas time.

I know, I know, but... I got a pretty dressing gown now as well. This is why we arrange this recording to tell you in the gentlest way possible in front of this audience. In this basement. Yeah, I'm learning right now that there was potentially a dog pooferi, but now there's not. He's been a roller coaster.

I am, I'm wiped. So there's no dog poo fairy, but there is a poo troll. That's what we know about mum's neck. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable? To prefer to listen to music at work than hear my work colleagues constant commenting on whether they are hungry or not

they are always hungry. That is not unreasonable. No, that seems fine. What if you miss the moment that one of them is not hungry? I'd be gutted if I miss that momentous occasion. Not peckish, actually. Pretty full.

Pretty full, yeah. No, no, drown out. Drowing out colleagues. Colleagues are awful, awful business. There's a few former colleagues of mine actually. But no current colleagues, yeah. And actually I told my colleagues about this podcast yesterday and one of them immediately went home and started listening.

So if the sound quality on this is good enough, I'm just saying, Simon said that, I didn't say that. Ellie, I think you're lovely. Am I being unreasonable to have Yorkshire puddings with Christmas dinner? That sounds great to me. Have Yorkshire's whenever you want. Yeah. You're a grown-up.

Have Yorkshire's any time, whatever, day or night. I don't really care for a roast, but I like a Yorkshire. I've got a cheese advent calendar. Show off. Do you think they do Yorkshire pudding advent calendars? A Yorkshire pudding should not keep for all of Advent. In the fridge, though. I have a little cold Yorkshire every morning.

That's just like those tiny little... pancakes that you get in like Belgium and you know the little round boys people know what I'm what is it good please I don't think that's what I'm thinking of are you thinking of like the savoury boys that you put the salmon on because I'm thinking of like the little they're like this is really irrelevant but maybe Simon can get a picture up and then we'll just edit this out but I'm sorry the Yorkshire's a really good cold for jam I've searched for tiny oh so I guess if you've got a tiny Yorkshire calendar and a tiny jam calendar and a tiny jam Are any of these tiny orchards, tiny on a flyer?

No, I'm thinking of something different. I mean, I don't know the turn, so I just search for tiny orchards. No, I'm looking at, like, little round pancake. This is completely irrelevant. I've got... Tiny Belgian. Like these? These boys at the top?

These boys? From my tiny world? That is the world I want to live in. Tiny world. Tiny wild. I don't know what to get for my tiny world. I don't know what to get for my tiny world. Oh my...

Yeah, but they're sitting out to spite their tiny relative. Their tiny relative... And last one. Am I being unreasonable? Prong ring. And there's a picture of a prawn ring. It's very nice. I like it.

No, go for it. Have your prawn ring. Have your prawn ring. Have your Yorkshire puddings. Have whatever you want. Have a candy cane if you must. No one must. Oh, sorry, there was one that I missed.

Am I being unreasonable? Millennium Dome vintage Kitch. It's a good question. It's a good question. question. And with that, shall we wrap it up? Shall we fade out with another festive jingle? I played a bit of this when they came in.

Bumsnettors. Bones netters. Mons netters. Mons netters. Mons netters. Natural. Really natural. Mons netters.

Mons netters. Mons neters. Thank you for me. Thank you for coming. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for coming. I've got the weed spots. That's how I got the weed spot. That's how I got the weed spot. I shot bread in the head, took the bread and the lamb spread. Little body got a shot of your body, so don't resist.

Or you might miss Christmas. I took guns. I make number runs. I get emcees to run. Slip it. When I go my clip in the A-K, I slaved from far away. Everybody hit the D-E-C-K. My slow flows remarkable.

He's too Mateo. Now we smoke weed like point in my time to slip the yo. That's crazy blunts. Madel. My voice excels from the avenue to jail cell. Oh, my God, I'm driving shit like a fidget. I hope you're listening. Smackin' babies at the christening.

So you better grab your pistol, because if you sit still, I'm going to make your fucking shit fill. And I'm fucking out fuck it. Why did I have to do it? So I said, fuck it. You got a gun, miss a bus it. Because I got more shots to pop your big popper. Bricking your old something proper. Signing off is the hardcore black singer, aka Black Slinger, bring it any time.

Mumsnettors. Come on. Mums netters. Come on. Come on. Mums netters. Come on. Come on.

Mums netters.