You Are Being Unreasonable - YABU Live 15th August 2019 - In which we do a summer live podcast recording

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

"Am I being unreasonable to ask who is the worst performer you've seen live?" This is the recording of our live show performed at the Chapel Playhouse in London as part of the Camden Fringe 2019. Thanks to everyone for coming and to the Chapel Playhouse and Camden Fringe for hosting us.  For the summer holidays, we picked some holiday-related threads full of Mumsnet mishaps and confusions. We discuss what to do if an Ed Sheeran cover band plays bad Nirvana homages in the square under your holiday villa all night; teachers going on strike in the summer holidays outside a silent school with no-one attempting to go in; how to deal with the universal situation of an AirBnB host who keeps walking in on you when you're lying on the bed naked on a wet towel; and what to do on a holiday ten minutes from where you live. We also discover bilingual dogs and the perfect golf gift for any golfer with a penis.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. Hello. Hello, welcome to You Are Being Unreasonable, a podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com. Welcome to our live show. It's the 15th of August we're at the chapel playhouse. It's part

of the Camden Fringe. Thank you all so much for coming. Yeah, so we do a podcast about Mumsnets, Am I Being Unreasonable Board? Which is a board where people go and ask am I being unreasonable questions? The answer is usually yes. And if they're not being unreasonable, somebody

else is. Which is maybe a rule for life, but I feel like Mumsnet really takes that and runs with it to extremes. So if you haven't listened before, thank you so much for coming. If you are familiar with Mumsnet, you can probably guess, you know, how things are going to pan out. No one's going to come out bathed in glory. Least of all us. Shall we begin with our speed round?

Yes. So for our speed round, we just read the question. So the title of the thread, it's rarely a question. It rarely makes grammatical sense. and usually sign them will answer by saying reasonable or unreasonable in the spirit of live entertainment Yeah, please shout out your own thoughts So just reasonable or unreasonable

Am I being unreasonable to have chosen a different life No, no, go for it Be who you want to be Yeah Adopt another persona A cat burglar from Paris Well, on that one Am I being unreasonable to stay in Paris

on my own for three days. No, that sounds amazing. Am I being unreasonable to ask the Leeds Festival advice for 17 year old? I think this is unreasonable because what 17 year old wants to rock up with all the shit Mumsnet told them they needed for a festival?

And am I being unreasonable to ask, who is the worst performer you've seen live? You're not allowed to say it. Oh, I love it. Oh, yeah. Just a sad side, that. Let's do a full thread, shall we? So, it's August, it's the Camden Fringe.

It's the holiday times. So every thread that I've picked this episode is about tangentially one way or another, summer and summer holidays. That's the theme. Summertime. Yeah, so I hope you're all in the summertime spirit. Maybe you're having an apparel. Maybe you're not. One better place to have an apparel than this basement.

Hey, it's Thursday. Thirsty Thursday. Am I being unreasonable to not leave holiday villa at designated time tomorrow? We are staying in a rural village in the south of France and are supposed to check out of our villa at 10 a.m. However, tonight there is a concert in the village square. Our villa overlooks this square. And there is a band that have played for seven hours.

at full volume. They have gone from Ed Sheeran and Coldplay covers to full on heavy metal and are still going strong at 2.14am local time. Currently, we're into about the 10th minute of their homage to feels like teen spirit. Wow.

I have my alarm set for 8am so that we can be up early to finish packing and cleaning. Am I being unreasonable to move my alarm back by at least an hour. We won't be ready to leave at 10 and I have a long drive tomorrow and it's not safe when so sleep deprived. Needless to say,

I am enormously fucked off. Well, this band sounds amazing. Seven hours! Seven hours. Seven hours of performing. Covering everything from Ed Sheeran to heavy metal and some sort of homage to Nirvana

but the song called Feels Like Teen Spirit. What a diverse portfolio. How many instruments would you have on stage to go from Ed Shearance, a heavy metal? Just one. It's just an accordion for seven hours, full volume. And the look of having your villa overlook this concert. It sounds like something you might intentionally do.

You might book a villa that overlooks a village square. That sounds like it's probably not an accident. No, that sounds nice. But you probably assume that all. all the locals would have the good sense to be quiet and respect that you are holiday, thank you very much. We're going on holiday in a few weeks,

and the place we're staying is right on the square in Scotland. Oh, seven-hour bagpipes. Ed Shear and Bagpipes. Ed Shear and Bagpipes. If there's a bagpipe cover band of Nirvana, I am down. I'm out there. Don't know if our baby niece is out there,

but I am out there. If there's a bagpipe cover of The first thing I will do will look for you just to check that it's not you out there causing a public nuisance. I'm out there like say anything. Holding up the boombox at the boomboxes bagpipes. The boombox is a bagpiper.

It just, that's how it feels. It just feels like teen spirit. It just feels like teen spirit. And it's not safe to drive on no sleep. Needless to say she's fucked off. Needless to say. The thing that, see, like, so she set her alarm for eight so that she can finish packing and cleaning. She's awake. Why didn't they do the

packing and cleaning to the accompaniment of the Ed Shearing cover? What better cover for packing than Ed Shearer? She could have done it in time like an interpretive dance of packing your bags and cleaning to, I don't know, the 18. Like that Markman Wise sketch where they do the kitchen stuff to the stripper. Sure. I bet she would have preferred a stripper out there for seven hours because that would be quiet. Just a nice, quiet stripper on the square. That's what I want from a holiday. I think a silent stripper in the middle of a square.

Actually sounds like someone from a horror movie. Yeah, maybe. I really don't understand, though. If she's so annoyed about not being able to sleep, why she isn't doing her morning tasks now while she's awake, rather than getting up in the morning when she won't have had enough sleep because she's awake now to do these tasks that she could do now.

Because she's on mum's net. Yeah, busy mum's notting to do. Oh, but... Let's take it at face value, though. Yeah? If it is the person who rented the villa who organised this impromptu concert, then, yeah, I think maybe they have a point. In all other circumstances, probably not.

Yeah, people on the thread are not at all impressed, not at all. Like, this, it goes on for 10, no, 15 pages worth of comments on here, and almost every single one of them says, don't think the person who owns the villa or the next guest has any part in this performance so you're being unreasonable. Unless it is the band who are pretty tired after seven hours of playing

and want to go into the villa that they've rented. Yeah, I mean, they've booked it from 11am. They're playing straight through till 11am. Does the band mean the next guests will be arriving late and that the person coming to clean will be arriving late? And then the original post has come back and said, the next guests must not enter until 4pm. Must not.

Now I feel like the OP is the person who owns the villa This is all very odd It must not cross the threshold Oh, the OP's come back and said the cleaner can start cleaning While we're still here She can't love No Like, no

Not gonna clean around you, that's gross While you're snoozing While you're sprawled out on the floor Because you started cleaning But you're too tired because of the Ed Shearing covers Because of what Ed Shearing did And then let me just do a tally On page one

You get 25 posts to a page Six people have said It smells like teen spirit No it was It was feels like teen spirit It's a different song A different much longer song It's the band's fault

But the band have clearly been hired to do this No one would let a band who weren't supposed to be there Do this for seven hours on checked Wouldn't they? Well Do it like this? Fair enough Should we move on on that note?

Yeah. I've got some jingles. Yeah. Yeah. So for the last live show, I made some jingles. And people told me, oh, they sound a bit robotic. Oh, it sounds a bit forced. Oh, this all sounds, this doesn't sound natural at all.

So I've made some adjustments. And instead of the British voice, I've got an American to voice them this time. Oh, nice. So these sure all sound a lot more natural. and a lot more fluid. Let's just go into the jingles. I want someone to play that for seven hours outside our holiday. The moms are back in town.

Seven hours solid. That was beautiful. I hope there are many more where they came from. Thanks. And they all sound as natural as that. Excellent. Each more natural than the last. That's how the survivors will tell it when they listen back.

The survivors. Should we do another thread? Please. Am I being unreasonable to expect teachers to strike in the school holidays and not in term time? Oh my God. Well, am I? Considering that teachers are always insisting that they work during the school holidays, how come they never strike then and they always wait until term time to do so?

Odd that. So you gave me four warning beforehand. You said, Simon, there's one about striking. Yes, and you said, will it be funny if I get militant about it? And I said, I don't know, I think some of the people that listen when we broadcast it like that sort of thing. With the full disclaimer, that in the room it might not go down well. I don't know. But this is, this is, this is more unreasonable than even I expected.

After 51 episodes we've recorded of this damn podcast. and I thought I knew what Monset was capable of. So, 51 episodes, we do four threads an episode, so that's 204 threads. I mean, we have brought you the woman who thinks that children should be allocated a vote, but the parents should get the proxy. The woman who screamed in the Sistine Chapel, the person who thought that you should get family GP appointments. And this is your line.

This is where you're like, nah, flip the table, done with this. They don't understand. striking, they don't understand school holidays, this is nonsense, they don't understand teachers. I think if a teacher went on strike when they weren't working, that's work to rule, which is a thing that exists. So what they're

advocating is teachers work to rule, but if teachers did work to rule, not such a smug married now, that's the username. I'm guessing they're not married rather than not smug. Yeah, if teachers just work to rule and didn't do any work outside of school time and didn't get anything done. They'd still be mad. So actually, they think they're coming up with a real gotcha. But if teachers did this, they'd be like, oh, well, it's unreasonable. What does a strike in the school holidays look like? Just a picket line outside the school when no one's going in? That's sad. That's as sad as the silent

stripper in the French square. Performance art. Just a row of teachers. Holding hands like in the film, Us. Especially for the caretaker who'd have to turn out to unlock the school to have a strike. Yeah, and the caretakers probably do work through the holidays, because, like, they rent out the space. Scab! Oh! If you call a strike and nobody's there to see it, does it really happen? People would be there.

It'd be like the kids who are there to do their, like, drama play scheme. They just want to go and put on a sub-parth, 30-minute performance of, as you like it. Sorry, those kids are scabs. They would they? Teach you on strike. They'd be completely about that then. I don't mean the A-level results would still be there. No, teachers.

I feel like we're about to inadvertently loop around to this being a great idea. Yeah, those kids are scabs. You can do something to the audio, so that sounds like a whole room of people standing. I'm just going to loop that for five minutes. Should we hear from the thread a bit? The idea of a strike as it causes disruption, what disruption would a strike in holiday time course? The next person says the whole point of a striker is that it causes the most inconvenience possible

to make the point, what would be the point. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Everyone's just saying what are you on about? And then the OPE comes back and said, hmm, I didn't realize the point was to cause disruption. I thought it was to get more money. To get more money from what? From doing what?

What are the action about? For fucks that. Oh my God. For fiends. To get more money. And they say disrupting parents. see how disrupting parents would do that. It's not about you. It's not always about you.

I'm sure it causes you disruption, but oh my God. Oh, and they're saying, oh, why aren't they targeting the people who are in a position to give them the pay rise? The children. What, are they now suggesting rather than going on strike that should be doing some sort of direct action and just like, I don't know, petrol bombing the department for education. I'm suggesting that, yeah.

I just don't understand what they think. A strike is quite mild. and I don't think they realise a strike is quite mild when they then say, well, why aren't they targeting the people who could do something? Yeah. Depends on it's a French strike. That is very different.

We really learning into the French this episode. Yeah, I mean, when the French get, a seven-hour French strike. With edge here and accompaniment. Yeah. I mean, the OPE comes back over and over and over and over again. Like, they will not back down. People are like, you've missed the point, you've missed the point, you've missed the point.

A few people are saying, are there even any teachers on strike at the moment? And then she's like, well, no, because it's the school holidays. They're waiting for term time. They're waiting for September 1st. Yeah. And then someone said, like, no, but what strike are you referring to? And she said, well, I don't know.

It's the principle of the thing. And then someone said, you don't understand. And then she said, well, maybe I'll read a newspaper. And it just goes on like that for 237 messages. Jesus. What newspaper is going to have updated information on this strike that isn't happening? I think what she's thinking of is Twitter. Like, there's not going to be a newspaper.

Yeah, that's not a newspaper. I'm just going to find out what the very last post says. Oh my God, the final post on this whole thread, message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our talk guidelines, replies may also be deleted, and that's where it ends. It dies there. I guess all the posts have been on strike. Better to go on strike on Mumsnet during the summer holidays and term time now.

People on Mumsnet are convinced that during the summer holidays all the teenagers are on Mumsnet, trolling. Like every time someone says something a bit dim on Mumsnet during the school holidays so like, well, it's obviously the school holidays and see the teenagers are out in force. It's like, how are you raising your teenager that you think that the epitome of teenage behaviour is going on Mumsnet and then posting something a bit weird?

Yeah, man. The cool place to hang out for teens nowadays, Mumsnet. Absolutely, yeah. That's all they're all hanging out. Yeah. Leitering. Right, right. By shit posting on Mumsnet.

Yeah. Loitering on the feminism board. Hanging out on the LIB being the board. No, the moment someone mentions the feminism board, we're moving on. Moving on, get a jingle. That board is a cesspit, get a jingle. Oh, God, I'll put a jingle on.

Oh, God. This explains why you're reasonable. This explains why you quietly and slowly sang this song to me before we got here today. While we were killing some time before this recording, Simon just sat there, very quietly, very creepily. Hey now, you're an all-star, like a haunted child. The fact that you didn't think that was at all strange or exceptional at the time. We've lived together for five years. Come on now.

Oh, Simon's just creepily singing in a minor key. Yeah, exactly. A smash-mouth hit from the early 2000s. If he wasn't, I would be. Someone's got a thing. She would have another thread. Am I being unreasonable to think the way the host is behaving is completely unacceptable. On holiday at the moment, booked via Airbnb.

Theoretically, we should have the apartment to ourselves, but the host lives next door. So every time she heard our door open, she'd pop out, asking if we were okay and where we were going and what our plans were. It was nice, but did get pretty exhausting, especially going to the car with picnic and beach things and having to stop and chat. But then she started coming in when we were there. And she's walked into the bedroom three times now. Just now, I had taken a shower and I was lying naked on the bed with a towel underneath me. And in she came. Oh, here you are.

I ended up shouting, please stop doing this. It's very embarrassing. I'm actually really angry. Some money is missing and I can't prove anything. But I think it's her. so when you started i thought the host might just be like doing normal things like playing ed sheerin or heavy metal outside the window until seven in the morning yeah just letting yourself in is is is not cool do you remember we stayed in an Airbnb in new york and while we were out

for the day the person who owned the place came round moved a load of stuff and left some trainers in the bin and so I came in and very attuned to weird shit I was like Simon someone's been in and Simon was like no one's been in and then I went to put something in the bin it was the box from some velvita shells and cheese it's just trashy food and I was like Simon there are trainers

in the bin and you were like no there's oh my god and then we opened up a cupboard and there was suddenly like a mattress that just like fell out at us and loads of the books were gone and new books were in their place and I sent a text like hello somebody's been to the apartment and the guy who owned it was like yep had some things to throw

away. I'm like, why are you letting out your bin as an Airbnb? There's like a dumpster outside the flat that he could have used instead. Why did he put his trainers? It was the trainers that were strange. The trainers first aroused my suspicions.

Oh, so I do empathise with how creepy it is when you know that somebody's been in, but at least he wasn't there when we were in there. Imagine how embarrassing it would have been if the host had come in and the person was lying on the bed without a towel getting it all wet. She does seem very concerned about pointing out

that she wasn't getting the bed all messed up. I think that's a very important detail. No, it seems to show an unnecessary deference to the house. Like, I wasn't messing up your sheets. You don't owe her anything. You've paid money for this. And then she said, oh, there you are. Like some sort of bawdy 70s Airbnb.

Oh, there you are. Yeah, here's all of me. Yeah. It must have Russ Myers Be in Airbnb room. Oh yeah. Delivery for you. It starts off

so like theoretically we should have the apartment to ourselves and it just escalates so gradually that by the time the host is stealing her money you're just like, yeah sure sounds about right for this host.

Theoretically's doing a lot of work there though. Like what they're not clear around what they're saying because when you rent a room you rent a room Yeah, practically. Theoretically suggests that maybe they didn't, perhaps. What would you rent on Airbnb, if not a room? Just like, what, access to someone's home?

Like, there's no way you can sleep as such, but you can come in. There's a bin. You're just renting the bin, so throughout as many trainers as you want, you know, let yourself in, but don't sit on any other furniture. This Airbnb is just for the bin. Okay. Air bin and bin. Very good.

yeah the way it escalates is like a horror film it's like get out where things start moderately creepy and then start to get a lot creepier and then suddenly you know you've got your brain scooped out on the bed under a towel so the brain juice doesn't get on the bed yeah it is but the o... I guess that's saving it's in the bonus stuff on the DVD but the OP seems so worn down

It doesn't seem like that. It seems more like that thing where if you put a frog in a pan of room temperature water and you turn it up by one degree an hour, the frog will just stay there. Yeah, and you can boil the frog because the frog won't notice the temperature increasing. It seems more like that. It seems like this woman is a frog being boiled in an Airbnb. Some money is missing, but if your host is stealing from you and you know they've been in, I think it's fine for you to say like there was some money here, the only person that's been in is you give me back my fucking money. Not just the money you stole, also the money for this

Airbnb. You assume the only person who's been in is her. Or if she's letting her friends in, too. She's throwing debaulter's parties. That's why she wants to know when they're going out to the castle or whatever on their picnic. So that she can have her wild, Gatsby-esque parties.

Like the roaring 20s while they're out. Not even that. It's like eyes wide shut when they're out. Oh. Yeah. Oh, no. Should we hear from the thread? When you're in, can you leave the key in the door so that she can't unlock it? It's a classic, classic move.

It's a classic. Did that to Simon by accident a couple of weeks ago. We have very kind neighbours, and he's very patient, man. I went and made friends with the dog who lives next door. The dog is called Yvonne. Yvonne's great. Yvonne, this is a separate podcast, a mini podcast now, it's just dog watch. But Yvon's great.

She's got, like, mismatching eyes, like David Bowie. Amazing dog. her name is Yvonne and she's Italian and so they speak to her in Italian but I've seen the people from the car wash downstairs playing with her and they don't speak Italian so she's clearly at least bilingual and her name is Yvonne

What breed? I think she's part Husky Yeah, a dog I'd say yeah Definitely a dog Mid-range dog Yeah we have Who Husky's a mid-range

Well I think she's only part husky I think She's too little to be a full husky. Yeah. Yeah. So being locked out was a blessing and a curse. Because of Yvonne. Yeah. It was a shame I didn't get to go in the flat I live in, but it was nice to meet the dog. Maybe the owner could bring around a charming bilingual dog with the name of a middle-aged woman, and that would make things better. I don't know. Someone has said, what were the reviews for this Airbnb like, which is a good question. But I... Great location. You know, no one played in the square while

or sleeping, but the host kept coming in while I was in the bath and adding more cold water. Oh, sorry, I've just, so the person said fortunately it wasn't a large sum of money, but enough to be missed, about £20. And for a moment, I thought that was what they paid for this Airbnb, and I was like, no, if you rent a whole apartment for $20 pounds. Oh yeah, £20 is a good deal. But no, £20 is what the owner's stolen from her. That's not a good deal. We don't know. Well, it might have been the dog, or any of the...

Eyes wide shut, party brothers. It might just be under the towel. Not getting wet because of the towel. Exactly. Can't emphasise the towel, isn't it? Because towels are non-porous? Exactly. Someone has said, I would report her.

I love when mum's that want to report people. To whom? Someone said, log it. I hope they mean log it with the police. They always think you can log things with the police. It's like, that's not what the police function is. You're not supposed to call them to log things. Yeah, the owner of this house I'm in keeps coming in.

like yeah if anything don't notify the police of that because they will come around and arrest you before you've had a chance to get your towel around your boobs um i'm not sure she's swanning around all the time in just a towel well i mean she's only told us about one outfit and that outfit was no outfit at all i'm extrapolated that she is constantly naked but she's always swanning around in a towel with a champagne flute hello darling and the champagne flute has got 20 pounds just sticking out of it. Generally people seem to think it's a mixture of like, well, Airbnb is tricksy. Obviously what will happen is this person will go to the police and the police will argue

for a bit saying it's not a police matter. But eventually they'll just give in and they'll say, but no one's lived in that property for years because it's a ghost. Should we have another jingle? Let's move on. I've got an ad brick. an ad break. Yeah, because we're a proper podcast now.

We've done 50 episodes, so we're, we're legit. We get, like, we get to join the podcast union and stuff like that. Sure. Go on strike during term time. But we don't have any sponsors because no one wants to give us money, apart from you, lovely people. Thanks. Thank you.

So we need sponsors. So during these live shows, I like to highlight products that I think might be good for sponsoring this. Yeah. I would especially highlight the great things that some of them do. So I want to look at this. I was shopping for a baby that I know earlier today. You want to buy a baby? Yeah, that makes it sound a lot like not only did someone want to buy a baby,

but one he already knows. That sounds like, you know, lock up your daughters. I wanted to buy a baby off someone. No, I was doing some shopping on behalf of a baby that I know. No, that sounds like you're a personal shop. And, yeah, I came across this delightful little book for babies. Like, it's not a proper book. I don't think it has an ISPN or anything.

I'm a professional librarian, so I care about this shit. But, yeah, I don't have an ISPN, not a real book, whatever. It's enough for a baby. Baby doesn't know. I'll tell the baby. But, yeah, babies love this book. Look how excited and confused and scared this baby is by this book. That baby's got a stress rush.

This baby. Yeah. And its little cheeks, yeah. Because of the book. There's also this image of someone giving the baby to an expectant mum, which doesn't seem like a great gift for a baby shower, but sure, I've never been pregnant. Maybe it is.

Already a bestseller in the US and now UK. Wow. Make your baby very happy. So there's all kinds of amazing features of this book, but this is the main thing that I want you to highlight. This amazing dynamic baby, who is not fooled by lower prices. Don't get them wrong.

Why does it say e-book? Yeah, like, it says e-book. How is it an e-book? How is it machine washable and an e-book? How is that baby standing up that's a baby? This is an incredible baby, a power baby. Each page stimulates. Strong and durable.

That's describing this baby. This is the advert. And buy this thing. Free e-book is next to the print. book thing Details I'd like to leave the e-book It's just a series of glossy JPEGs

of pictures of books Because they've misunderstood They're like an e-book Well I know what a book is And you just get loads of pictures Of that book I was also looking at this product For potential sponsorship

This is a Euroclub What this does is Have you ever been on the golf course And you need to You need to use the bathroom but there's no bathrooms in sight because you're deep on the 12th hole you can't get to the clubhouse

that's totally unreasonable what do you do? You can unscrew this little golf club it's got a little unscrew the Euroclub's triple seal leakproof cap I should hope so clip the privacy towel to the Euro club

and your belt or waistband because you know God forbid anyone sees you doing this Good thing you've got the privacy towel And step three Discreetly relieve yourself And then get back into the game So what the Euroclub presupposes Is that you're willing to

P into this golf club And then carry it around with you For the rest of the course That'll mess up your swing Because it'll get increasingly heavy So your whole understanding Of how your club works will be screwed I don't think it's intended for swinging

I think it's just A phony club? Yeah, it's just a disguise. Well, then there are no possible problems with it. I was wrong. What happens if you're female? Well, it's not for you. Get out of the golf club.

Who let you in, little lady? Not sure you should be there. I'm not sure you should be there. No, that's not how women pee. You can't do that. I'm a board certified. Let's get to this. Because this is the brainchild.

This is the brainchild. child of Dr. Floyd E. Seskin MD. And Floyd went on Shark Tank and he sold this product and now it's been manufactured. And here's a picture of him cloned three times. So

he's not actually using the Euro Club because I don't think this is thick enough to have the reservoir for urine and he's definitely not got a privacy towel. Maybe a big driver at the end of that club there, Simon. You don't know you can't see it. I don't know. I don't have those details. But I want to emphasise that

This may sound like a joke, but it's not. Dr. Sesskin is a board-certified urologist, practicing in Florida, where golf is played year-round. Oh, of course he's Florida, man. I was... This in particular made me angry, because I went on Amazon to look for this club as well, to do my market research.

Well, it's got it labeled as a urinal, funny gag gift for men. This isn't a joke. Dr. Floyd Sesskin... picture, Simon, as addition that men that can be given men, as only as they're mid-firstes, so you've got one for you in their man. Yeah, that's why I'm advertising this.

So hopefully, Dr. Sesskin and send me a free one. But just to emphasise, this is not a gag gift. This is not a funny golf gift idea. Yes, it offers privacy for your privates. But it's not a joke. Dr. Saskin is an actual person. He's an actual medical doctor. Practicing in Florida, and here he is.

He's a board-certified urologist. True to his lifelong sense of wonder and creativity, Dostos Saskin has enjoyed a second career as an inventor and has presented three, unique and innovative designs. His most famous invention, the Euroclub, was featured on Shark Tank. That's like Dragon's Den, but in America. And was the direct result of his years of treating many avid golfers in Southern Florida. There we have it.

A very serious product... Treating them, like treat yourself. I've treated you to a Euroclub. Yeah, do you know how many people came up to him and said, I was on the golf course and I couldn't piss? So now I've got a bladder infection. He's sorting them out. So, yeah, this is just a quick ad for this.

Very real product that exists, and that is not a gag gift. Yeah. Yeah, if you have more than half a litre, I don't know, just... Get another Euroclub. Yeah. Piss on the golf course. But yeah, not a joke.

2495 for a single Euroclub or booked by six for £112. The Euroclub. The best way to piss on a golf course. Thank you for that. Should we do one more thread, then a raffle, then a speed round? Please.

Am I being unreasonable? He booked a crappy holiday for us. Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed? Holiday was in scare quotes, though. Holiday was very much in scare quotes, and we will see why. Been saving for a cheap UK break. Boyfriend said he was going to sort it as a surprise. It was a surprise, all right.

He's booked a caravan park. Park Dean Resorts, less than 10 minutes from our house, for a week. Now, it's not the fact it's a caravan. I enjoy a little caravan trip. But ten minutes from our house, what is the point? Nothing new to explore or towns close by to visit that we don't go to all the time. It costs £409 for the week. Well, Monday to Friday, would you be miffed?

Yes. Hell yeah. Yeah. So. At least there's no possibility. of a host coming in while you're lying on a bed in a towel. But there is.

Oh no. Like there might be someone from Park Dean Resorts coming in. You wouldn't get that if you stayed in your own home, which is 10 minutes away. Yeah, unless you go back to your own home to shower. Which, I mean, frankly, you would, wouldn't you? Yeah. It's 10 minutes from their house.

It was £409 for a week, but it's not even a whole week. It's Monday to Friday, so that's four nights. That's £100 a night. And at this point, it's £409 for a week. I don't know if it's better or worse that it's only four nights because it's a shit holiday

you don't want that for seven nights but why is it £100 a night and it's 10 minutes from their home like a couple of weeks ago we were on the top deck of a bus going somewhere 10 minutes from home on the bus and you said what's that

and I said it's a caravan part it's like the caravan club and you said oh we should go there and we laughed and then we carried on with our day and we didn't book a holiday maybe he didn't spend 400 pounds on it at all what a weird thing to lie about because she's mad about how much she's spent

as well as the fact he's done it spent it on something else on one of these yeah maybe he's joking and he's taking her like abroad somewhere really romantic I love that this has gone from like no he's spent it on smack

to like he's taking her to Paris because I have an amazing boyfriend so high expectations that's my mother said that she think my dad spends money on smack so sharing it this has all got very awkward

Sarah's boyfriend has to take her on holiday my dad does smack look let's all compromise I can go to Paris and do smack perfect what better place to do smack than the city of love I mean that is what all those people

that everyone romanticised basically did like oh Hemingway addict like all of that shit yeah Hemingway didn't go to a caravan park 10 minutes from where he lived he might as well have done though He was just off his tits, wasn't he? Faroo did, that's the whole plot of Walden.

He just went to that place 10 minutes down the road from his parents. Boyfriend said he was going to sort it as a surprise. It was a surprise all right. Yeah. If your criteria are book me a surprise holiday. Book me something I would never expect. This is both a holiday and a surprise. So, tick, tick, mission accomplished.

Yeah. surprise are not exactly the same thing. I think... More like shock and awe. I think he has to be having a wrong. There's no way. Well, I think men are terrible. So this is in advance, and actually I found this thread last week,

so we can have a dig about in a bit, and see if she comes back and says, oh, surprise! Oh, yeah, live updates. Dumpty's ass, or, oh, surprise, we're in Sicily. No new towns to go and visit that we don't go to all the time. It really sounds like she's put some effort into thinking about how she can make this work for her. I don't know why her expectations are so low that she's actually given any energy at all. She's being like, well, maybe, no.

Patriarchy? I mean, we all live under the patriarchy, but there's not a single person in this room who thinks that this is a good holiday. Yeah, this holiday is the patriarchy. I love blaming the patriarchy for shit, but this holiday is not, like, that's not going to fly. It's the O.P. based in Sheffalo, though, that might be a... very well. If they're on a holiday resort then maybe it's not that bad. Yeah, it's a good consideration. No, she's in Durham, thereabouts. Oh, Durham's nice. Durham is nice. Durham is and her boyfriend agrees. Durham's lovely. Durham's lovely and there's lots. There's

200 pounds of money, yeah. Yeah. There's lots to do around there, but you might have done it because you live there. Yeah, well, no refunds available, I'm dreading it. I'm not sure what we're meant to do to pass the days. Oh no, it's not a joke. She's seen the confirmation. Oh, he sounds like a really innocent, idiot dog, like he's come in, like, oh yeah, here's the confirmation email, yeah. She's just there like, no, no.

He's excited to go to the caravan, but I don't know it will be an awkward nightmare. What sort of process possibly led to this? Yeah, and now lots of other people have come along and they're like, I also live in the northeast, but somewhere better. That's where I got Durham from. People were like, could you go on a trip to Durham? Could you go to Newcastle? Yeah, go to Durham, go to South Shields.

No, no. I'm starting to feel like this poor boyfriend doesn't understand her parameters because now I'm confused. She's like, yeah, we did five days in Scarborough. That was lovely. It was at Haven. We went to Whitby. We've been to York. We love the entertainment bit at night. So it does sound like she actually quite likes to say extremely close to home and go to weird holiday places. Yeah, exclusively in the north and Yorkshire. I'm now turning around on this and thinking she's being unreasonable because she's led her boyfriend to believe that what she wants from a holiday is to be very close to home. Maybe they deserve each other. The poor boyfriend just sounds like a sweet idiot. Yeah, and not a smackhead at all. There's not enough information to judge that. Yeah, so she said, oh, I'm going to call up. I don't trust him not to make another mess of things. Otherwise, he can take a friend.

That's nice. Lads, lads, lads. If one of your friends contacted you and they were like, look, here's the situation. I've messed up, and now you have to come to a caravan with me. It's eight minutes from my home, and we're staying in a caravan. together for a week, but not really a week, four nights. Four nights. Is there a golf course

nearby? I'd like my share by the way, so he owe me £204.50. Someone said, I can get on board with doing a stay vacation that involves staying somewhere really fancy with room service or a pool or a spa, but a caravan, no. Yeah, it's a combination of the caravan and how close it is to home that make this a bad scenario. But it looks to me like she's just resigned herself with the fact that no one gets their money back and him and his mate are going caravanning. I'm not going to go looking for what's happened up to this point but someone's come along and said your DP obviously didn't care about the reaction

let's face it, he must have known what the reaction would be he lies, he steals, O.P, this is not normal behaviour. I'm concerned that you didn't even think it was worth bothering to mention any of this. Maybe park it for now and have a great holiday. So we're going to go on holiday with this lying feet. To somewhere eight minutes Well at least when it all goes Tipped up when it's a horrible holiday

Because he's a lying thief It's easy enough to get home Okay We need to dig into this at We need to dig into this at home to find out Sorry Maybe they're wearing a tag That actually sounds so plausible

That's as far as they can go Yeah Yeah I knew someone who had a tag That meant that they had to take A really circuitous route home from school So Like you do have to

do funny things when you've got a tag but like his tag meant he couldn't go into central woolwich which probably scuppered his holiday plans I guess because that would have been about an eight minute drive I've got a caravan in central wool it yeah no a tag makes very good sense could be especially if there's a lying

thief yeah maybe a smacker experience I would suggest well I mean we're not here to judge we're only here to speculate about whether or what you do heroin Shall we do our raffle? Yeah, let me lead us into it with another holiday jingle.

Please do. You know the rules and so do I am I being unreasonable. There's no more funny I'm going to make you understand Never going to give you up And we're going to let you down So we've got a raffle

We have got people in the room Who did not participate in the raffle Did I miss you or did you choose not to we're not funny enough I don't know yes that's not stopped us I think that might be a decision

you made before you saw the output from the show okay we've got a selection of you are being on reasonable prizes we've got in third prize so the person who gets drawn first a box of raisins it's an in joke from a recent episode

if you haven't listened I hope you like raisins they're very bad for teeth second place we've got got a signed poster from this so that you never forget the Thursday you spent in a basement while people read to you from the internet and then we've got a mystery first prize so let's go very mysterious congratulations lucky winners that's our raffle segment you're not sure what it is it is a mug is it you i really hope it's a yabby mug or one of hell

Oh my god it's a yaboo mum The only piece of yaboo merch that exists in the world Let's do our final speed round Our final speed round is our crowd source You are being unreasonable So for this one I will ask a question to Simon And he will tell you if you're being reasonable or unreasonable

Sure Am I being unreasonable Not wanting a dog Yeah dogs are great Like Yvonne's amazing I suggest getting Yvonne, because Yvonne's really nice. A really good dog. A good all-round dog-o, 10 out of 10.

Am I being unreasonable to envy other people's entertaining colleagues? Yeah, envies a sin. It's really 59 minutes hind to a recording. It's a weird time to get them religious on us. Am I being unreasonable in thinking Zone 4? it's not in London and it's a long way away. Zone 4 is pretty far, but I say that with the privilege of a Zone 3er.

A lot of people think Zone 3 is not in London. Yeah. And then when they say that, I'm like flipping the table. Like, fuck you. Go back to wherever you came from. The clearly wasn't London. Zone 3 or GTFO. Amma being unreasonable,

flatmate has the worst taste in decor but moved in before me. Replace art while she's away? Yeah, good idea. Yeah. Sneak in while doing a towel. Am I being unreasonable? D.H. won't let me get a doc. Could that be linked to the...

No. No, it couldn't be linked to the other. Am I being unreasonable? The patriarchy? No. Yeah. I mean, the patriarchy is unreasonable. And am I being unreasonable to think straight white men have a hard time?

No, it's rough. It is rough. Let me tell you. Am I being unreasonable, living in a flat share that smells have gone off chicken because it's her chicken from four days ago and I shouldn't have to wash it up. At least you've got a mug now. Don't let her put any chicken in it. That's all I have. Do you have anything? We've got one last jingle to play us out. Yay!

As we fade away into the night and disappear. Thank you all so much for coming. If anyone would like a poster from this live show, we've got some spare. We'll even sign them for you if you want. Yeah, why not? Put them on eBay. Tune. Tune after tune.

My father took me into Mom's net I'm being an unreasonable boy He said So will you be the senior of the Unreasonable Cheeky fuckers trolls

He said Will you Believe them You're demons And all the demons And all the night The plans that have been made Because one day I leave me

A phantom to lead you in the summer To join My being an unreasonable board Thank you. Thank you. I think that's all we've got to do. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Woo! Woo! Ha! Ha! You feel fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day,

when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. right now.