You are the Universe! - E:15 Money, Mindset & Miracles

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

We are going to talk about the elephant in the room - MONEY!!! Notice how we don’t talk about money unless to say I’m broke or I can’t afford that. Perhaps it’s time to have a heart to heart with your money and rewrite your story?! Www.VictoriaHaffer.com

Welcome to the You Are the Universe podcast. I'm your host, Victoria Hafer, intuitive healer, and holistic life and body coach, with over 20 years of facilitating massive transformation for people and animals. And I'm so flipping glad you're here. Today's topic is, drum roll please, money, mindset and miracles. Yes, the triple M's. So just taking a moment, wherever you are. Yeah, we're going to talk about the elephant in the room. Money! Notice how often we don't talk about money, unless it's to say, I'm broke or I can't afford that. But when women speak about how much they make, they are considered bragging. Speaking about money in a positive way is typically considered taboo.

So think about this. Everything is about your relationships. Your relationship with your family, relationship with coworkers, your partner, the relationship with food, your relationship with your body, and most importantly, relationship with yourself. So why should your relationship with money be any different? And why don't we talk about it? I mean, we hardly ever even learned about it in school, right? Like how to manage it, how, you know, all that stuff.

It was sort of like it was just there or it wasn't. So I'm going to share with you a little bit about my money story. I never thought that I actually had an issue with money. The more money I made, the more money I spent. So what's wrong with that, right? I always paid my bills on time. And typically I was paying the minimums of my credit cards. I had a nice apartment.

I drove a nice car. I could go on vacation, you know, once or twice a year. And, you know, I just didn't really think there was, it was, there was anything wrong with my relationship with money. I never really thought about it, I should say. I was a present moment kind of gal. And I just thought money was made to spend. And, you know, I would think these things, well, what if I died tomorrow?

Ha, ha, ha, all those things. And throughout my 20s, my 30s, my 40s, my 40s, my 4. 40s, credit card counseling, debt consolidation, and even bankruptcy. And I still didn't think that I had a problem. Lots of people go bankrupt, right? And then the rock bottom came. For any of you who know who, you know, have experienced any kind of addiction in your life. You know, I did grow up with a lot of addiction around me, family. My dad was an alcoholic. There was a lot of drugs and alcohol. around me, mostly so many people I knew, and especially my family used food as a crutch and as a way to kind of fill a void. And I didn't really have any of those things. And I never

really thought of money as an addiction or, you know, shopping. And in the day, I used to buy a lot of maybe frivolous things. And then it turned into bigger things, like my trainings and my workshops and vacations and, you know, things that I would never, I would not want to do them differently today. However, I still wasn't really looking at the whole bottom line of how I was being with money. So I hit my rock bottom. I woke up one morning and had a notification on my phone that my overdraft protection had kicked in, which meant I had a negative balance in my account. zero dollars to my name. I was horrified. I felt ashamed and I was paralyzed in that moment. And in that moment, that was the life-changing moment for me. In that moment, I knew that I had to

have a heart-to-heart talk with my money, with money, my relationship with money, right? overall. So about you, how do you feel about money and specifically your money? Right. So finish the sentence. Just humor me. First thing that comes to mind, money is dot dot dot, dot. Money is dot, dot, dot, dot. So often, you know, I'll get answers like the root of all evil, a pain in the ass, something I wish I didn't have to deal with. Or you have to work hard for money. You have to work hard. And so, again, what is money?

Money in itself, the truth is money is merely an energetic exchange for goods or services. So money in itself is neutral. So we've got the positive mind, the negative mind, and the neutral mind. Positive mind is, you know, seeing the glasses half full instead of half empty, seeing the, trying to see the good in all people, those kinds of things. The negative mind would be on the opposite end. Again, depending on your experience, your belief systems and how you grew up, you know, just being a little bit more not so on the positive, right, on the opposite of that.

So being in the negative state of how you feel about. money and every time you think about money or you hear the word money maybe you get a pit in your stomach or you think oh I just wish I didn't have to deal with it you know maybe you're a spiritual you're a light worker you're a healer you're a heart purpose driven entrepreneur and you were like oh only I didn't even have to deal with money at all so again that is definitely bringing that a negative connotation so you know it's a trigger so again when you hear the word money and maybe you've already some work around it or maybe perhaps money isn't is an issue for you and you are in the flow

and you know you get that that the energy of money and that it's just about give and give giving and receiving giving and receiving and you know this is something and it's how you grew up right everybody's different so just just just just be with me for just a moment here so positive negative neutral. Neutrality is about objective and impartial. Again, when you say the word money, when you see the word money, when you think about money, there's no charge to it. Neutrality. So where does our money story typically come from? Just like any story, any belief systems that we're holding on to dearly. Parents, authority figures, whoever, you know, who were the adult that were around you when you were a child growing up? Who were the adults that were most influential

on you? It is said that the majority of our belief systems are cultivated by the age of six years old. So however you experienced your loved ones as a child, your parents around you, and what was their relationship with money? What was their situation with money? Was there lack in the household growing up for us my parents divorced when I was six and my mom basically had to get a full-time job and run the show and take care of us and you know keep a roof over our head and buy us all the things that she needed to buy us we were on welfare we had support sometimes from the government so you know we definitely the message was we definitely didn't get the message that money was abundant and that it was there was enough to go around for

everybody. So again, just take a moment and ponder your money story. Ponder your, you know, how does your mother feel about money? How does your father feel or did feel about money? And how did it show up? Maybe you had a dad that worked 80 hours a week and in order and he always said, I'm doing, you know, and you were sad that your father wasn't around and he would say things like I'm doing this for you know so you could have what I didn't have and so now you equate money with hurt and loss and abandonment so again these things can go pretty deep into our into our psyches and into the sub into the subconscious mind into that shadow aspect of how we're showing up on the day to day so you may not even know until you start to explore your relationship with

money. So again, you could have been sitting in the back seat of your family car at the age of five with mom and dad in the front and they were arguing around money. And you say to yourself, money equals fighting, equals stress, equals anger. Right. So whatever. So whatever, it could be the other way around too. Maybe you grew up in a very affluential, abundant family. And then you thought, well, you know, you snap your fingers and everything you asked for you got. So again, it has a lot to do with, you know, our childhood and how we grew up around that. So if things are coming up for you now, I invite you to pause the podcast and maybe pull out your journal and just do a little brainstorming on your own money beliefs. Your beliefs around money and how you, it triggered, like, are you, are you checking your bank account on a regular basis?

Are you, you know, keeping track of your expenses and, you know, with money coming in and money going out? Or you're just sort of thinking like, well, it'll all take care of itself. So when you think about money, how do you feel in your body? So again, when you think about money, your savings, your bills, when you write out your bills, when you write out your bills, when you send out bills, maybe you don't do that anymore, maybe you're set on an auto pay and so it automatically happens. However, you have to see that eventually somewhere.

If you get a tax bill in the mail or the electricity goes up, are you frustrated or you're annoyed, you know, paying your monthly car payment or your insurance for the house? are you frustrated that you feel like you're giving that money away instead of shifting. So this is where you shift from a negative mindset to a positive mindset of I get to. I get to every time. I mean, mostly most of my bills are on auto pay at this time. However, I have a few that I still do write out a check.

And so when I do that, I just think about that every time money goes out, that it's going to come back to me a hundredfold. And then I sit in that space of true gratitude. that I actually, I'm so grateful to have the money to pay for my bills, to pay for the groceries. All of those things, if you flip it and you switch it to the I get to and I have, luckily you have the funds in your accounts to be able to pay for those things that you need. Paradigm shift can be really powerful. Try it. So when I ask people the question, what is the one thing? Like if you could have one thing that, you know, unlimited, a lot of people do say the word

abundance. And when we think about the word abundance, what does that even mean? Abundance just means a lot of something or an unlimited amount of something. So let's talk more of specifically prosperity, which has to do with money. And why do you want money? You know, people will say a lot of different reasons. Just answer that question. Why do I want money?

Why do I want more money? And is it because you want to buy more things? Do you want to travel? Do you want to have a peace of mind? So I think it's really important that we are very clear on what money can bring us. Do you think money equals happiness? Now, surely, I get it. If you had more money, you certainly, you know, there's going to, there's a lot of different

things, ways that we can flip it. But I'll tell you, there's a story of there was an indigenous tribe. They actually did a documentary on an indigenous tribe where they took, I think it was maybe 10 young men from the tribe. And they brought them to, I believe it was New York City, and they set them up. Right. Because you think about like, oh, what do they have out there? They have limited funds, but they always have food. They always have shelter.

They always have clothing. And they had each other, right? It was a very close-knit community and all that. And then you take, you know, 10 young men to bring them to New York. They're living apart from each other. They get jobs. And they followed them throughout. And they found that towards the end of the time, I'm not, I can't remember how long it was,

six months a year. But most of the men, they were depressed. Some were suicidal. They were not happy. So here they are. They have more opportunity. They have all these things. But what they were, there was so much missing.

It was that lack of connection in community. And so more money does not equals equal happiness. And they've shown this over and over again in lots of longitudinal studies. So what is it about the wanting more of? And maybe you can have those things. Maybe you say, I want to travel. I want to travel all over the world. And maybe you're a yoga teacher or you're a healer or you're a coach.

What if there is a way that you could, you know, combine that with the work that you do or collaborate with somebody else and, you know, be able to do that? So ideally when we look at this whole, the art of manifestation and creation and what we actually want to to actualize in our world, it's, you know, money. Sure, it's going to make it a little bit easier. And what is your relationship with money? I got to tell you, you got to keep going back to that. do you respect it do you are you grateful for it um and again it relationship money has has to do with everything to do with your money story and that has to do with um are you a business owner do you know your net worth right like things like that really important another component i want you to take a

moment to ponder on words or energy watch your mouth have you ever said things things like I'm looking for a hairstylist that won't break the bank, or I need a copywriter that won't cost me an arm and a leg. So notice your language when you speak of money. You speak with an abundance or a scarcity mindset. So remember, truly, we create a reality through our thoughts, our words, our actions, and our belief systems. So even though, did you know that literally 5% of what runs the show in our day to day comes from the conscious mind. So what does that mean? 95% of what runs the show on the day to day comes from what's sitting in the darkness,

in the shadow, in the Pandora's box. So again, remember the subconscious aspect of us, sub means below. Below the conscious mind is what you're not aware of, which is why it can be so powerful to work with a healer or a coach or someone that can really be a mirror for you. Truly, the entire world is a mirror for you. So if you're consistently experiencing the same types of relationships and events and things like over and over the same thing,

or keep attracting the same partner, but they just have a different name. or you keep having money issues or whatever the issue, the challenge that you're perceiving you're having, everything is a reflection of us. So again, if you are in that space of of that scarcity mindset, you know, I would invite you to just take some time to explore your money story. And why not rewrite it? How do you treat your money? So I used to squish my cash into this little zip. I had this little tiny leather little purse pocket, tiny small, small in my purse, because my purse wasn't very big. And I remember one day my beloved said to me, wow, you don't

treat your cash very nicely. Yeah, I would literally just like squish it in there. And then once he brought that to my attention, I thought, yeah, you're, you're right. I'm actually not treating my money very nicely. And so now I always fold it up neatly. I put it in. order of money. You know, I have them all facing in the same direction. And yeah, it's just, it was a little bit of a different mindset to have. Also, I used to always not want to touch money because it was dirty. And then I started doing things like meditating with money. And so again, it was sort of like, well, how do you feel about money, money, cash? Just imagine this. Think about your relationship with money. This is you with your relationship.

with money, just like a person. Imagine you're, I'm selling you like, how would you build a relationship or a friendship with a new girlfriend or a new boyfriend, meaning whether it be romantic or friendship based? How would that be? How would it be that every time they showed up on the scene, you were either just wanted them for that aspect of what they can give to you? And then, but every time you thought about them in another realm, meaning like paying bills or there's no way I'll never be able to, I'll never have enough money for X, Y, Z. And so every time you think about them, you get a pit in your stomach. Do you think that that energy of money, just imagine, you know, like a $100 bill like ding dong showing up at your door. And then you having those mixed feelings about them,

that money energy is going to want to run away and it's not going to want to hang out with you. So again, can you come into that space of neutrality and gratitude for the essence of money? Might you have a spending addiction, right? Funny thing, as I mentioned earlier, addiction runs rampant throughout my family. And so again, it can be. And they've actually, it may have even switched over into something, let's say Amazon, right? So Amazon is so easy now that your bank account is connect or your credit card is connected to Amazon. And it's like what? What? You have Prime, which is it costs an additional like $15 a month, which you don't even think about. And then, you know, you could just click the button. And they've actually found that when we do that, you click that button. It actually releases a shit ton of dopamine into your body. which is like that high. So, you know, again, just reflecting on those kinds of things. Be open and curious without any judgment and just notice. Do you know your net worth?

What you own versus what you owe. So many people are living paycheck to paycheck, credit cards, right? Paying on the minimums, buying new cars over and over, all those things. So look at that. what you own your investment and retirement accounts 401k checking savings accounts jewelry art furniture home car etc that's what you own versus minus what you owe credit card debt mortgage loans student and car business loans right or maybe you owe money to somebody else like your mom so again if this isn't something you're aware of perhaps you can take some time to do that. Are you tracking?

Do you know what you made last year for income as well as your profit? As a business owner, as an entrepreneur, often they don't. And you should. So maybe it's about creating some kind of a spreadsheet. It's super easy-peasy to do that. And then you put in and you just start tracking how much money that's coming in and how much money that's going out. And you get to do that.

Don't make it so that it's a chore. Make it, it's okay, I'm excited about repurposing and creating a new relationship with money. Okay, so here are some powerful steps that you can take to begin to heal and transform your relationship with money. Got a pen? All right, ready?

Number one, write down your parents slash guardians money beliefs. which ones did you adopt? Again, you might think, I have no idea, but you will. And you can and you should. So just take some time and start to, if your parents are still alive or even other relatives that knew your parents, just start to ask questions. Mom, how do you feel about money? How did you feel about money when we were younger? Maybe they didn't share it with you, but underlying, you should, as you start to, as you start to explore and you put attention, on your relationship with money and from your ancestors as well, because keep in mind,

this stuff can be inherited, you know, from the Great Depression. Your relationship with money and how you receive and perceive money can also sit in your DNA. Mm-hmm. It's true. Number two, explore how your money story is or is or might be sabotaging. your wealth. So again, your money story. What is it? Ask your friends. Ask your partner. To shine some light. Ask a friend, you know, again, if you, if this, these are the kinds of things that I work directly with my clients on. So, you know, a coach or someone that, that works

with very strong with the belief systems uncovering as we shine a light. Because once you shine a light on a blind spot, you're cultivating awareness. Now, awareness doesn't necessarily equal change or transformation. It's choosing something different that creates massive transformation. Number three, choose to delete, destroy, and uncreate the belief. And imagine blowing the belief up, right? Imagine, boop. On YouTube, I actually have a guided experience. Listen to it. Heal, my money trauma guided experience. Listen to it every day for 21 days or longer if you want. Yeah, let me know how it goes. Number four, create a new money mantra and set notifications on your phone to repeat the mantra hourly. Create a new money mantra. So whatever your old money mantra

was that like money is the root of all evil, flip it. Create something else. So create something that's present tense in the moment. You know, I, I love money and money loves me. I don't know, something simple like that. Play with it. Number five, create a spreadsheet to track your money, if you don't already, in versus out, in versus money out, right? Money in versus money out. Look at it daily with gratitude. Number six, set realistic yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily goals and track them daily. Hashtag truth. People can't typically make much more than the most amount of money they have ever made in a year. That's crazy. Right. So I'm, and that to me, it's been true. I actually, the greatest amount of money that I ever made was literally, oh my goodness, eight, it was a 10 years ago

was my greatest money year. And after that, it just kept going downhill until recently. So it's kind of Interesting. So to take a look at that and just see often you can look at your parents as well, you know, if they made as they capped at a certain amount of money. And that is definitely an energetic cap. So just be aware of that. Number seven, meditate with actual cash money. Smell it, touch it and feel it. Coins or cash. Number eight, create a vision board around your money mindset. So again, pictures, things that you want to create and actualize and cultivate. Maybe it's places you want to visit. Maybe you want to have your own sanctuary or retreat center or it's around your partner or a partner that you're attracting, you know, pulling into the world and put those visions on there and sit with that.

Don't just create a vision board and then stick it in a closet. You've got to be in the feeling of that. What would it feel like in your body to be able to travel all around the world to create a, to have your own sanctuary or, you know, your own business taking it to the next level, right? All those things. And really, really, really step and be in that feeling. And then number nine, commit to a daily gratitude practice. Be thankful for all you have and all that is to come.

So I always say that the universe, if you're not thankful for what you have now, the universe sure as hell is not going to bring you more. You got that? So the bottom line here is, stop ignoring your money. Remember, just like any broken, neglected relationship, it takes me. time to heal. Planting new seeds and giving your money, consistent, loving attention will make all the difference in the world. I know it did with me. So I hope that you really appreciated and got some, you know, some wisdom, bits of wisdom out of my podcast today. I do it with love.

I bring it with love. And I would appreciate so much if you're not already following. You are the universe podcast and click that little, that little, that little bell name. next to it so that you will get notifications on all new podcasts from me. As always, I'm here for you. I love you very much. If you need support, please feel free to reach out. Remember to be and see the magic in everyday life.