You are the Universe! - S1:E2 The Power of Presence

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

Do you often wish you had control over your inconsistent moods and emotions? Do you feel like you are at the whim of external circumstances and that life is controlling you? Did you know that being present is the key to uncovering the root cause of our distraction, self sabotage and escapism? Being present can be your greatest super power if you let it. Www.VictoriaHaffer.com

Welcome, everyone. Victoria Hafer here. And our topic for today is the power of presence and how the art of truly being present in every aspect of your life can completely change your entire reality. Do you often wish you had control over your inconsistent moods and emotions? Do you feel like you're at the whim of external circumstances and that life is controlling you? Do you repetitively feel like you're on a hamster wheel and there is no end in sight for this roller coaster ride you call life? Yeah, that used to be me too. Did you know that being present is the key to uncovering the root cause of our distraction, self-sabotage, and escapism? Being present can be your greatest superpower if only you would let it. So what does it mean to be truly present? Being present or living mindfully simply means you are focused and engaged with the here and now, not distracted or mentally absent from whatever it is that you're doing.

So whatever you're doing, whether you're cleaning the toilet, washing the dishes, driving your car, or having a conversation with a friend, family, or loved one, being here and now, that is the key. being present means being fully conscious of the moment and free from the noise of internal dialogue as well as external stuff too you know you're in a copy shop and you know suddenly you can hear what people are saying over the next table and you know it's really about drawing the energy back right into anchoring into that present moment the art of being mindful allows you to better regulate your moods your emotions and your energy how do you know

if you're being present. On a simple level, it means being focused on one thing, a conversation, a task at hand without distraction, without wanting to be somewhere else, without being in your head lost in obsessive thoughts. What are the consequences to lacking in presence? So again, you know, in order for us to truly choose and make it a priority for us to do something different, typically there's a pain. There's something painful happening. So if it's not really creating pain for you to be lackadaisal and not being present with your entire world, then,

oh well, maybe you don't need to listen to this episode, right? But so we all think we can multitask. And actually, they've actually done studies that have shown that that's actually not true. There's absolutely no way for you to divide your time. So when you're focusing on one thing, the other thing that you think you're doing is not, doesn't have your attention. For example, if you're, you know, eating your lunch and you're having a conversation with somebody else, something's got to give. So either the eating is going to become mindless or the conversation is going to become mindless, right? So, you know, accidents can happen. Unnecessary mistakes can be made.

you may forget important things and you will miss subtle cues in all kinds of your relationships when you're not being in the present moment. So how does practicing mindfulness or being present assist us in our own healing or recognizing our own blind spots or blocks? Presence helps us to truly slow down, taking that active pause. in between the event or the action that occurs outside of us and giving us that space in between for us to choose how we respond differently. So you can either be reactive or proactive.

So reactivity is the somebody send you a not very kind text message or email and you just immediately you have to respond to them. You have to give them a piece of your mind. And that's all ego-based stuff. So as you start to evolve in your spiritual path and you start to slow time down, you actually start to realize that you can control your moods, your energy, your emotions, and even your thoughts. So slowing down so you can actually hear your divine self, your higher self speaking to you can be extremely powerful and beneficial. Being in the awareness of universal life force energy

can bring us much information, much needed information. As you start to choose presence in your day-to-day, as you move through your day, you'll actually notice more things. So as we start to bring the awareness away from the monkey mind, the puppy mind, that negative self-talk, and start to realize that you are not your mind. You are not your ego, right? Like, well, then what are you and who are you? And getting to the root cause of our own self-sabotage, again, if you're dealing with chronic anxiety, mental health issues, depression, addictions, patterns, habits, escapism, sitting, you know, there's nothing wrong with watching a movie on Netflix, but, you know, how often are you binge watching because you're avoiding that stuff that you know that if you actually

sat with it, it could change your entire life? So what are some steps that you can practice to become more present throughout your day. Number one, set an intention in your morning ritual. Now, maybe you do not have a morning ritual yet, and that will be a future episode. So stay tuned. But just set an intention in the morning. Could be in the shower, could be on the toilet. It could be even before you even get out of bed to just be more present throughout the day.

So remember, where your energy goes, your energy flows. Where your energy goes, your energy grows. So what is your focus? Maybe you could put up little stickies on the mirror in your bathroom or in the mirror, you know, in your, in your car. Number two, set a reminder on your phone or your computer for a mantra to pop up hourly, something like I am present, I am aware, I am free. you can certainly make up your own mantra and have it go off every single hour until it becomes a habit they've actually i'm sure you've heard this but it people say oh 30 days to a habit it's actually 90 days so choosing to do something the habit the pattern that you know is self-serving and is going to be very beneficial

and help you to achieve your goals and all of you know your targets every single day for 90 days before it becomes that automatic, you know, habit that you don't even have to think about it anymore. Number three, notice when you are future rejecting, aka living in the future. I got that from one of my amazing clients, future rejecting. Excessive worry, anxiety, and negative self-talk are all signs of this. We're either living in the present, we're living in the past, or we're living in the future. So what are you choosing?

When you notice this is happening, repeat your mantra until you feel lighter. Number four, notice the quality of your breath throughout the day. Did you know that our breath is directly connected to our state of mind? Typically, when we're not being present, we're probably not breathing deeply either. And most people tend to hold their breath on the inhale. When we do that, that actually sends signals to the, the brain that we're in danger. When you focus on the inhalation, that actually kicks us into the sympathetic nervous system, that fight or flight, freeze, fawn, right? There's longer than

fight or flight there. So what do you think comes first? The negative thought or the restriction of our breath? Good question. Yeah? Regardless of which occurs first, changing your breath pattern can absolutely change your mental state. One of my favorite breath techniques that I teach all my clients and students is the retention breath. There are many ratios that can be used during pranayama or breathwork. And I recommend that you start with inhale for four seconds, gently retain your breath for four seconds, exhale for eight seconds, and then gently hold your breath for eight seconds. So just take a moment now. Even if you're driving, you can keep your eyes open and breathe, I hope. Hopefully that's not too much of a challenge for you to do.

So inhale for four, three, two, one. Gently hold the breath for three, two, one. Then exhale out for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. And again, inhale for four, gently hold or retain the breath for four and exhale for eight. So typically you want to work with a twice as long time frame for your exhalation. If you're looking to shift from the fighter flight into the rest and digest nervous system. So eventually training yourself to pause in the stillness of the holding. We call that the void, right, the space. Practice this technique anytime you feel worried, anxious, or stuck in a loop of negative, repetitive thoughts.

It also works great if you're having difficulty falling asleep. And then rinse and repeat. So once again, just to review, number one, set an intention in the morning to be more present throughout the day. Number two, set a reminder on your phone or a computer, create a powerful mantra that you can use as an anchor throughout. the day. Number three, have an awareness or notice when you are future rejecting, when you're living in the past or living in the future. And then number four, notice the quality of your breath. Now, I guarantee that if you were to take these four things and incorporate them into your day-to-day, things are going to change. So just like any new habit, it takes time to cultivate it,

to have it become automatic. I remember, like I said earlier, it takes a minimal of 30 to 40 days for something to even begin to become a habit in your life. This practice has been the foundation of my own personal healing, as well as thousands of my students and clients. Let me know how it goes.

And remember, be and see the magic in everyday life.