You Be Trippin' - Afghanistan w/ Saad Mohseni | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Follow Saad on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/saadmohseni/ Saad's book Radio Free Afghanistan is also out now! Buy it on Amazon here! SPONSORS: -Head over to https://unboundmerino.com wh...ere new customers can use our code TRIPPIN for 10% off of their order! -Get $20 off a Skylight Frame at https://SkylightFrame.com/TRIPPIN -Pretty Litter’s amazing! You have to try it. Go to https://PrettyLitter.com/trippin to save twenty percent on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy. On this episode of You Be Trippin, Saad Mohseni builds a news network in Afghanistan where he faces indictments, suicide bombings, the Taliban, and a staff who would look at too much porn. On the show, he and Ari discuss corruption, religious groups, the myth of America, and not having sex outside of marriage. They also talk about population growth, refugees, hash, and why America invaded. Other topics include: David Cho, women, sanctions, Osama bin Laden, the effect of the Internet, and LASIK eye surgery. Ari also learns about a crazy sport that involves horses and used to be played with the decapitated heads of enemies. Salam alaikum! You Be Trippin' Ep. 44 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm gonna whip this around. You've done these before right? Yep. Podcasts, plenty of stuff. You're the first media mogul I've had on here. No, I'm far from it. I mean it's like, talk about big fish in a travel show. Yeah, we're gonna talk about travel today Hello everybody, welcome to you be trippin it's a travel podcast every week me and the guests go to some Far off place in the world where they've been to tell me about their experiences there. It's the only podcast that has never played a part in the assassination of any British writer. Guest today is Sadh Mulsani. He just wrote this book, Radio Free Afghanistan. Pretty cool to write a book. Is this your first one? Probably first and last. I had help, of course, as you can see. Yeah, Jenna Kujawski. Yes. Is that hard having a woman help you in
Starting point is 00:01:07 Afghanistan? Well, she helped me outside. No, it's not. Okay. Really? Yeah. Alright. Well, okay. So, the first time I heard about you was through Yoshi. Yes. Our buddy. Our mutual friend. Yeah. One of the wildest guys on the planet. Um we we can do an entire episode about Yoshi. Just Yoshi. Yeah. It's Yoshi. Episodes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. But he told me, when I went to Kabul, he was like, dude, you'd love it there. It's this, it's this occupied area. They were like, please bring, he's like,
Starting point is 00:01:35 what can I bring? Goes, bring two bottles of Jack Daniel's. We got to have a bar. And he goes, there's this guy, Saad, who's like, he runs a newspaper there and he's always coming under attack of everybody local and he's just the coolest guy. He'll put you up in his house. You should have. Yeah, I know. You still can. So how is it now compared to how it was in occupation?
Starting point is 00:01:57 Because once they were like, they pulled out, Kabul's gone within like a minute. Yeah. I was like, ah, shit, I guess that trip's over. No, actually, Kabul fell before the Americans had pulled out. Oh really? So the Americans had pledged in April of 2021 to leave by the end of August, so four months.
Starting point is 00:02:17 And then by mid August, the government collapsed. The Americans are still in Kabul. And there was this uneasy peace between the Taliban and the Americans. What do you mean the Americans? You're not talking about the military. The military. The military.
Starting point is 00:02:30 So the military had a presence at the airport. So everyone rushed to the airport, including embassy staff and Afghans who'd worked for the Americans, members of civil society who feared that they would be attacked. So the Taliban took over the city. The Americans had tens of thousands of troops
Starting point is 00:02:48 at the airport trying to protect it. And the Taliban allowed them to evacuate all these people over a two week period. So literally a couple hundred thousand people flew out of Kabul in those two weeks. And then at the end of August, the Americans left for good. And then how was it? And then it's you were there before you're Afghani. I'm Afghan. Yes, I was I was
Starting point is 00:03:13 Born outside of Afghanistan because my father was an Afghan diplomat. Okay, so I was born in London 58 years ago and but I went back to Kabul when I was three. We were back and forth. And then when the Russians invaded, we decided not to go back. We were living in Japan at the time. Oh right, I don't even think about the Russians. Yes, so the Russians invaded in late 79. We were based in Tokyo.
Starting point is 00:03:38 And then from Japan, we moved to Australia. And as such, I'm a dual Afghan, Australian national. Really? This is a long history of like higher ups and leaders in all sorts of fields getting educated in Great Britain or the US. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Like taking that education and going back. Yeah. I think even although like the communists and like the Latin American countries, a lot of the smart ones were learned here and then took that thinking and changed it for them. Yeah, it's ironic because if you look at the pre-Russian, Soviet invasion of Afghanistan,
Starting point is 00:04:20 Afghans never felt compelled, they never felt the need to leave the country. So people are very comfortable living in their own countries. And I think this is, I mean this whole issue of immigration which is such an important issue today in the US, in Europe, thank you, is, it was sort of non-existent in those days,
Starting point is 00:04:42 especially in the Middle East and Central Asia. This issue of what? This issue of immigration. All right, right. I mean, it's you know governments are basically Parties are losing power and Europe even in the US I mean immigration is a very very important issue to to to your voters protecting our way of life It's pretty funny to know, you know show a otani Baseball player fall base course. Yeah. Yeah, so this guy's Steven A Smith was I don't like it protecting our way of life. It's pretty funny too, you know, Shoei Otani, baseball player, you follow baseball? Of course, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:07 So this guy, Stephen A. Smith, was, I don't like it, I don't like that he's here because it's like this non-English speaker, it's kind of ruining things. And everybody goes, you know the Dominicans are like half our league. Yes. And they're learning as they come,
Starting point is 00:05:20 like, what are you talking about? And he goes, oh yeah, I guess you're right. And when I was young, living in Japan, there were a lot of Americans playing baseball in Japan. Oh really? Who didn't speak Japanese. Yeah, exactly, figure it out. Pitch is coming, you don't have to.
Starting point is 00:05:31 And a lot of sumo wrestlers are now foreign. They're Polynesians, or you know. I remember that white guy, and everyone in Japan was like, no fucking way, you can't be a champ. I remember Jesse, I can't remember his full name, but Jesse was, I think he was the first American from Hawaii who became a champion. I don't think he was a grand champion,
Starting point is 00:05:53 he was a champion, so second category champion. Really? But I remember him well because his son went to our school. If you look up Jesse. This guy? Yeah. Jesse Sumo Super Jesse. This guy? Yeah. Jesse, sumo superstar. Okay, at least he looks the part.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Well, they all do, you have to. Yeah. No, I mean the eyes. Not the fat. Obviously the fat. Well, he's Hawaiian. Yeah. He may be indigenous Hawaiian.
Starting point is 00:06:19 So we're gonna talk about Afghanistan today. Please, yeah. What is this book about, about starting this? So, we were living in Australia, and when the Americans invaded, and the Taliban. Why did the Americans invade? Sorry, I'm gonna ask questions and interrupt, it's way too much.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Well, like, so Russia's gone. Well, 9-11, Russia, so Russia, Soviet Union invades Afghanistan with 128,000 troops. They stay for 10 years, almost 10 years. Can't take it. Can't take it, huge, obviously, reputational damage. They lost a lot of troops. And then Gorbachev decides it's too expensive,
Starting point is 00:07:06 it's too costly for us in terms of, so Afghanistan's there, right? So the Soviet Union invades. Were they always big there? Were they already, did they have all this? Yeah, they were all the way up there, yeah. All of Central Asia. So Gorbachev decides it's too much for us,
Starting point is 00:07:22 reputational, dollar-wise, so they decide to leave in 1989. A civil war, so the groups which were supported by the Americans, for the Americans it was convenient to have the Islamists fight the Soviets. To keep them occupied. To keep them occupied, they fought well, they were committed to it, they were driven by ideology.
Starting point is 00:07:42 So the Americans and the Saudis and others pumped billions of dollars into the country and they helped these Islamists. And that in a lot of ways radicalized the entire region because people indoctrinated in this sort of extreme fundamentalist views of Islam were attracted to this holy war. And then of course, when the Soviets left,
Starting point is 00:08:07 the Americans said, well, well done. You know, we're outta here basically, and they completely disengaged. Then these groups which had fought the Russians started fighting each other. For 12 years? Well, for three years. Okay. Right?
Starting point is 00:08:22 From 1989 to 19. Well, sorry. They initially fought the Afghan communist regime, which basically... These are all groups fighting separately against the Russians? So the Russians leave, but the government, which was supported by the Russians, a communist regime, managed to hold on for another three years. Okay. Right? for another three years. Eventually, that government also fell. Then these Islamists, these different Islamic groups,
Starting point is 00:08:50 religious groups that had fought the Russians and the Soviets, they took power in 1992. And then for the next three years, they fought each other. Completely destroyed the city of Kabul, 50,000 dead, hundreds of thousands injured, perhaps hundreds of thousands of people had to flee the city. And then in 1995, this group called the Taliban,
Starting point is 00:09:14 religious students, marched right through Afghanistan, take over the country, pretty much almost unopposed. Like Pol Pot almost? Well, I mean, there was, they, they, they. In terms of the march. In terms of the march. In terms of the march, well, I'm not that familiar with Pol Pot and Cambodia, but they, they came pretty much unopposed,
Starting point is 00:09:32 because I think there was fatigue in terms of fighting. And also they represented something new, because they said, listen, enough of the fighting, enough of the cruelty that we've witnessed over the last few years. This is the Taliban? This is the Taliban. So they came,'ve witnessed over the last few years. This is the Taliban? This is the Taliban. So they came, they took over the city,
Starting point is 00:09:47 and with the exception of the northeast of the country, pretty much the rest of the country fell to the Taliban. Okay. But they also attracted a lot of these other non-Afghan individuals and groups, including Osama Bin Laden. What was he? Well, he was living in Afghanistan,
Starting point is 00:10:02 but I think that he became sort of a lot more active during the Taliban reign in the mid-90s. Okay. You know, forces loyal to him or his supporters attacked embassies in Africa. U.S. Naval ship was attacked. Why, because the radicalism extended beyond the Afghan borders?
Starting point is 00:10:28 Well, I think Bin Laden basically was on the same side as the Americans, because he went into Afghanistan to fight the Soviets. Okay. With the support, of course, of the Americans, maybe not directly, but they were all on the same side. I think Bin Laden's issue with the Americans was the invasion of Iraq in 1991.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Okay. Right, so bin Laden felt as a Saudi that the Americans should not be on Saudi soil because the Americans had to base themselves from, you know, and the large operation was conducted from Saudi Arabia, if you recall, to liberate Kuwait in 1991. I remember that one. I remember the attack overnight and was like what? Yes over there.
Starting point is 00:11:08 So and then you're on Kuwait there we go okay yeah. So then Bin Laden turns against the Americans and in the mid 90s, if you recall, embassies were attacked in Africa. That was Bin Laden? That was Bin Laden's group, al-Qaeda. And I think a naval ship was attacked in Yemen and so forth. So the Americans, he became sort of enemy number one. And then 9-11 happened and was traced back to Bin Laden.
Starting point is 00:11:44 And then the Americans gave the Taliban an ultimatum to give him up And the Taliban refused to do so they said well, he's our guest and as long as he's here we cannot We don't condone his actions, but at the same time so we're not gonna give him up So Taliban is like the greater government the Taliban is the government government. Is the government, and then Al Qaeda is just some group? They're, you know, like, quote unquote guests. Right. They have fighters, they do training. So this would be like if, let's say,
Starting point is 00:12:13 I had a cyber attack on Cambodia. And then Cambodia's like, we want to arrest him. America's like, no, we're not sending him to Cambodia. That's a US citizen. Well, you're a citizen. But the Northern was not an Afghan citizen. OK. But they refused to give him up. setting him to Cambodia. That's a US citizen. Well, you're a citizen, but the Northern was not an Afghan citizen. Okay. But they refused to give him up.
Starting point is 00:12:28 And then the Americans, I think the Americans were looking, reaching for a fight anyway. So they invade Afghanistan. And when you look at Vietnam, they were like, the French left, and the Americans like, give us a few years, we're going in. If you're gone, there's always these power struggles. And like, once one group comes out,
Starting point is 00:12:42 like who's gonna get it? Yes. You know, when East Timor, when the Portuguese pulled out, Indonesia waited like 10 minutes and they're like, it's ours. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's because I think people don't think through these operations, the assumption is it's gonna be over within a year or two years.
Starting point is 00:13:01 But you look at the Russians couldn't take it forever. And the Brits. And the Brits. Prior to that. It's every time I see a pizza place open in a year or two years. But you look at the Russians couldn't take it forever. And the Brits. And the Brits. Prior to that. It's every time I see a pizza place open in a place where a closed pizza place was, and I'm like, are you out of your mind? The model doesn't work in this building.
Starting point is 00:13:14 How are you gonna do it differently? Yes. Open a bookstore. It was Einstein who said the definition of stupid is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Yeah guys I went I interrupt for a second. I gotta tell you about SAD's book Radio a free Afghanistan. This is gotta be the first guest I've had
Starting point is 00:13:34 That has a book. No Russell Peters wrote a book but It wasn't out right now. It wasn't like new radio free Afghanistan. It's all about his journey It wasn't out right now, it wasn't like new. Radio Free Afghanistan, it's all about his journey, trying to start this media company in a country that where he's coming under constant attacks. Some of his employees were killed. I shouldn't take that lightly, but it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:13:58 I'm just saying that's probably not what's in Russell Peters' book. Probably different story is what I'm saying. From Russell Peters having a great time in the road to Saad Mosaini who had employees killed. Radio Free Afghani Center. It's available right now wherever you buy books and there'll be a link for it at the bottom of the Spotify page or the YouTube page wherever you're watching or listening. There there only two places? Are there other places? Guys my farewell tour. Well first and foremost I gotta tell you once again get ready and set your calendars for January 14th my
Starting point is 00:14:34 new special America's Sweetheart. We'll be premiering on Netflix.com. Set your Tivo's and record it right there at Netflix.com. If you're still on the dropship subscription where they send you CDs I would get in the queue now because it might it might kind of build up once January 14th happens. You want to get it ahead of them. I don't know how that works. I don't know if they'll send it on the 12th and so you get it on the 14th or they'll send on the 14th you get it afterwards. I'm not sure but what I'm talking about doesn't exist anymore so let's be done with this joke. My farewell tour is on sale
Starting point is 00:15:10 right now at recheffere.com as well as my merchandise, t-shirts, vinyls, grinders, stuff you want. Tahoe, Pittsburgh, I'm just going to do it by memory. Tahoe want Tahoe Pittsburgh, I'm just gonna do it by memory Tahoe Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Some of these will be with Adrian Appaloochee. They should all be marked on there at our issue. We're calm Pittsburgh Providence sold out Austin sold out. Sorry also Tahoe's December 21st in Lake Tahoe, Nevada first time there Providence Tampa Denver, Denver, San Antonio, San Jose, Schomburg, Illinois. I think that's it for clubs. I know I'm missing one. And then the big theaters. Atlanta, the Tabernacle in March. Um, April, and then Portland. Both of those will be the agent of
Starting point is 00:16:01 apology. Portland, uh, and then Seattle, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, tickets are low and all those. Hurry up and get tickets at RGTVR.com. Also Fort Lauderdale and Orlando. I think Orlando sold out. We already had a second show. I think it sold out. There will be no more shows added.
Starting point is 00:16:17 No room for it. And I think that's it. Go to RGTVR.com for tickets. I know I'm leaving something out. Nashville, Adrian Apoluch who will be there too. Guys, let's get back to the episode. Thank you, Saad, for coming in. At the end of the episode, I just got some new, oh, Cambodia. I got some new postcards that I'll be reading on the air. Stay tuned for the outro. That's it. Let's get back to the episode. So the Taliban were toppled by this huge military,
Starting point is 00:16:47 let's call it exercise, the international community sort of supported this operation. You're there for this? No, I wasn't there in 2001. I went for the first time in 2002. I had not been back since 1978. So we went back, the Taliban basically dispersed, they went to the countryside or they went
Starting point is 00:17:11 to neighboring countries, in particular Pakistan. And then the Americans initially were reluctant to go beyond Kabul. They thought, well, this is a success. And then these things creep up on you right so then they deploy troops outside the country you know we have to destroy al-qaeda they're chasing bin Laden and all of a sudden and then all of a sudden they're you know very very involved in security and subsidizing the Afghan economy,
Starting point is 00:17:48 trying to rebuild this nation. Nation building is a tough exercise, especially in the 21st century. So then 20 years on, having lost thousands of troops, a trillion dollars. So many dead soldiers. And I think both present. So many dead soldiers and I think both dead civilians to a lot of Afghans died in that period cities were destroyed
Starting point is 00:18:12 Towns were destroyed people's lives destroyed. Well by both sides. I mean it wasn't just Just the Americans, but the other side also was quite brutal And then the Americans decide to leave, which is understandable after 20, it's America's longest war. So Trump wanted that and Biden also wanted that, and the Americans are gone.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And the Taliban take over. Okay, we saw it here, it's massive, like what the fuck, I know people that were in the military, like I gotta talk to all my brothers and say, we fought for nothing and don't feel bad. But like, yeah, what, and none, it seemed like such a waste. I mean, immediately the Taliban took over.
Starting point is 00:18:59 But we viewed them as not this like government group, we viewed them as this evil. They were almost synonymous with Al-Qaeda and ISIS. The Taliban was used interchangeably here. Yeah, well. To someone like me, to a non-expert. I mean, I don't know who it was who said that, it's just the way you, a terrorist is sometimes
Starting point is 00:19:20 a freedom fighter and vice versa, right? So we just have to wait for the history books. Yeah, the word insurgent's so interesting. Insurgent, like what do you mean? Like he killed an American troop, like why are we even at his house? It's just like, just don't be there. I mean listen, we were cheerleaders
Starting point is 00:19:39 for the international intervention because we felt well well, this is evil government, needs to be toppled. But, you know, looking back now, reflecting on what we saw over the 20 year period, you know, we see things differently. I see things differently. So you come in and then you just,
Starting point is 00:20:02 what do you do, what are you going there for? Well I listen I you know a lot of us Afghans you know we my father was a diplomat we never sort of we never for example a lot of people immigrate to a country right and then you understand your Italian heritage but you become an American you want your kids to become Americans and you don't you never think about going back but for for us, it was very different. We were not sort of the traditional, the immigrant experience that most people have in terms of abandoning their past.
Starting point is 00:20:34 That for us was not really the thing because we always felt that we had to go back to Afghanistan. We sort of never gave up on the idea of returning to the country. So all these years living in Australia and I lived in London and worked in different places, I always felt that if there's an opportunity,
Starting point is 00:20:51 I would like to go back. It's my country, it's my people. So when the Americans invaded and then we had the opportunity to go back, which we did in 2002, We went and had a look, and the idea was to invest in a few businesses. I can invest a sort of detached, passive investing in a number of sectors.
Starting point is 00:21:12 And there was this opportunity to set up this radio station, which we did. It's called Armand FM. Yeah. And then... I got a paperback copy. I knew I had it. And then we set up this radio station, which was hugely popular, and then we set up our second radio network and then television network and second television. So we established a whole bunch of businesses inside of Afghanistan and eventually outside of the
Starting point is 00:21:46 country as well. Yeah. So how, how, what was the process like getting in there and starting a radio? Because that's, I mean, getting the word out is a massive thing for governments. Well, there was a radio, there was a radio network, which was the state radio net, like, like, you know, NPR, for example. But we, so we set up this very commercial radio network with music and chit chat and banter
Starting point is 00:22:09 and some music. Do you have any problems with like chicks singing? No, nothing. Okay. It was completely, we were completely free. And they didn't bug you? No one bug, well they gave us a hard time because although the Taliban were not there,
Starting point is 00:22:20 but people are basically conservative in that country or were in those days. So it was controversial, but we had some obstacles, but we could really develop that business. And it took off because people like those things. People like music, people like laughter and banter, and a fun, you have your own FM that works in this country. We had our morning shows, the
Starting point is 00:22:46 afternoon shows, we had people with dial-in with their problems. Um, really? We have our own version of, you know, Dr. Ruth. Just regular radio. Just regular radio, regular music. So it was hugely successful in it.
Starting point is 00:22:58 We got sucked into the business because we realized we had to be involved in running this business. We couldn't just delegate to someone else. Um, and it was fun. I mean, uh, it was a 20 year exercise. I mean, the business still exists. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:14 All the businesses still operate, but with a lot more restrictions today. Was, so the government left you alone for the most part. For the most part. Well, we, we always had issues. We had issues with parliament. We had issues with the government left you alone, for the most part? For the most part. Well, we always had issues. We had issues with parliament,
Starting point is 00:23:28 we had issues with the government, we had indictments, we had court cases. What kind of indictments? You know, this show is against Afghan values and culture and then some guy would file a case against us and those sorts of things. And because we also gave the government a hard time because we had a news network.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Yeah, would you attack the government? All the time, on corruption, on nepotism, on all sorts of things like that. The corruption and nepotism, that's one of those things where it's like, I'm not talking about the Islam religion, I'm just saying, why are you hiring that guy when this guy's a better for the position? Absolutely, but there was also a lot of corruption.
Starting point is 00:24:03 When you flood a country with billions of dollars and that country doesn't have the capacity to absorb that aid, it leads to corruption and mismanagement. So we, our news network, which is called Toulon News, was very aggressive in terms of pursuing these sorts of stories. So the government would find ways to give us a hard time.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Who'd you hang out with then? Like who was your crew? Well we had, I mean Afghanistan's a fun place. We had, I'll give you the other one if you want. Okay, you know that means you're a little bit better on the shot. Yeah, tell me about the place itself and like... Well, Afghanistan is a very, very... it's a friendly place.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Really? Yoshi's probably told you this as well. Yeah, but he told me really a version of the, like the, what do they call it, the workers that work for the government, that aren't in the government, the US government. Contractors. Contractors, yeah. That's the crew he was telling me about. Yeah, because I think he wasn't really exposed
Starting point is 00:25:18 to a lot of Afghans. But Afghans generally are a very warm people. Oh, cool. And very hospitable. You'll hopefully see it for yourself when you travel there. Bro, I wanna go look really bad. People who've been exposed to Afghanistan can never let go of the country.
Starting point is 00:25:36 I'm talking about non-Afghans. There's the food, the mountains, people's hospitality. There's something just very, I don't think it's sort of, words are enough to describe what you would feel. How are they with Jews? They don't care. They don't care.
Starting point is 00:25:59 That seems like that's most of the Middle East. It's the conflation of Israel and the Jews where it's like, oh, no, you're just a Jew. You're from New York, who gives a fuck? People don't care. Wow, that's nice. Because there's always that second level of like, is it safe?
Starting point is 00:26:12 Like, yeah, is it safe for this nose? And they go, oh no. That's a very Afghan nose. You could easily be an Afghan. Really? All right. No, Afghans are very accepting actually. Now, if you're there proselyzing
Starting point is 00:26:28 and trying to convert people to Christianity, and of course that's against the law and that's a totally different thing and people would be suspicious of that. Yeah, it's when I tell people about China, they're like, well the government does this and this and they'll arrest you if you speak out against them. I'm like, I'm not speaking out about the Chinese government,
Starting point is 00:26:41 I'm just trying to get street food. Yes. Like, that's not my issue. No, I think Afghans you'll discover, I mean, I put this in the Chinese government, just trying to get street food. Yes. Like that's not my issue. No, I think Afghans you'll discover, I mean I put this in the book actually, there's a very well known war correspondent, John Lee Anderson. And so I asked him, I said John,
Starting point is 00:26:56 you've been to this country many, many times. What is it about Afghanistan? That keeps him coming back. And he said, the sky is so high high and there's something just wonderful about this guy is so high I'm interesting so I mean if you can visit most of Afghanistan is like I don't know how many feet it is like 2,000 meters above sea you're dealing with a very mountainous country. Damn. I don't know if that's Afghanistan, but.
Starting point is 00:27:28 It says Afghanistan, I don't know. Oh, it says Bamyan, yeah, that's Bamyan, sorry. Is that Afghanistan? Yeah. Oh, well, Jesus, it's pretty. So it's all mountainous. So it's very mountainous, it's rugged. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:41 But there's, you know, and the people, I think the people really make the country. Hey guys, today's episode of You've Been Chippin' is brought to you by UnboundMarino.com. This is a clothing company that Rolf Pott, my buddy, has told me about for a long time. It's lightweight clothing that's stylish and packs up really well in a bag. I mean, lightweight is important. It's warm. They've got that cool wool and it's light. And when you're traveling, you got a backpack on you're limited on space. Unbound Merino's clothes take up less space. It's an important thing. They're durable and they're fashionable. It's a travel clothing company made by travelers for travelers. I've talked to the guy who runs the company. He's cool. Rolf loves him.
Starting point is 00:28:20 You should too. Unbound's clothing is made of Merino wool, which is moisture wicking, temperature regulating, and extra comfortable for all sorts of travel. That merino wool, you don't even have to wash it, legitimately. It won't get stinky. I don't know how it works, but then it'll dry. You put it on your back of your backpack. You're just kind of like, if you just want to water dry it, it like works. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:28:40 It's so cool. Unbound helps travelers pack lighter, save on baggage fees, and take the decision fatigue out of packing with their versatile and timeless pieces. Head over to their website right now at unboundmorino.com where new customers can use my code Trippin for 10% off their order. Help support them, legitimately. They're a good travel company, support them.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Get good clothes at a good price, it's lightweight. Hi guys, today's episode of UB Trippin is brought to you by prettylitter.com. Now, a long time ago when I was graduating college and looking for a way to make money, I realized that I fucked a lot of skanks, a lot of skanks with diseases and oftentimes asking them what diseases you have wasn't the best way to get an answer. And I thought, hey, what if they could piss on something and send it to a lab real quick, get an answer on what they have, chlamydia, syphilis and so forth.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Now every avenue I went to said there's no market for this and we can't make any money off it but I kept that idea going strong there's gotta be a way well pretty litter has taken that patent and applied it to cats I said pussy they said fine we understand I'm like I don't think you do but the point is there's money to be made pretty litter not only covers the smell of your cat's piss but it also changes colors to show if they have any sort of kidney disease or anything like that. Now eventually at some point you realize my dream being able to target skanks and find out who you should stay away from but until then Pretty Litter
Starting point is 00:29:55 will help your cat with their diseases. I'm not joking. It changes colors to let you know that hey your cat needs to go to the vet. It's got problems. PrettyLitter.com. Give Pretty Litter a try. You and your cat will love it. Go to PrettyLitter.com slash Trippin and save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. That's PrettyLitter.com slash Trippin
Starting point is 00:30:15 to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. PrettyLitter.com slash Trippin. Terms and conditions apply, see site for details. Now back to the episode. What are the meals like? Food. Not just the food, see site for details. Now back to the episode. What are the meals like? Food. Not just the food, but also the meals. Like there's this thing in, maybe Cambodia or nearby there,
Starting point is 00:30:32 where there's this like King syndrome where like you don't pour your beer, I pour your beer, you're a king, you pour my beer, cause I'm a king. Let me get you food. No one gets their own food. And it's just like long meals with small bites. It gets everybody talking for like two hours. Like you'll be hungry, then you'll be less hungry,
Starting point is 00:30:47 then you'll be okay, then you'll be full. I think by the time you leave Afghanistan, you would have put on like 10 pounds. Really? Yes. Okay. So the food is interesting too, because it's sort of, so we're nestled between China
Starting point is 00:31:00 and the Middle East and Central Asia. So we have, we have noodles, we have dumplings, but we also have rice and stews, lots of bread. What's your favorite dishes? You know, because I don't want to put on weight, I try to avoid Afghan food, but they're all very delicious. A lot of pitas or is that just more Middle Eastern? A lot of pitas?
Starting point is 00:31:20 Yeah. No, we have like clay ovens, and we have longbread called naan. Okay. But the Afghan bread is like superior to any other bread you'd have. I mean, I'm sort of unbiased, but. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I'm sorry, I'm biased slightly, but I can be objective, because I like different types of cuisines. And you put stuff on it? You can, but you tend to... Just eat it fresh? Just eat it fresh or eat it with meat or with rice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:50 And you have it fresh while it's hot. Yep, oh really? Yeah. Yeah, steaming. It's like steaming hot. So we have soups and we have, you know, like very, different parts of the country have different,
Starting point is 00:32:08 obviously they have their own specialities. Yeah. But I think most people like our rice. Okay. Well, we, the most famous one is the one with raisins and carrots and chicken, for example, or meat, with steamed rice. So it's called, like that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Damn, that's good. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. There's actually. With raisins, so it's savory and sweet at the same time? Yeah, yes. That's cool. There's apparently a really good Afghan.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Pulau. There's a really good Afghan restaurant in Brooklyn somewhere. Really? And I read a really good review in the New York Times, I think it was, in the New York. What's it called, do you remember? Or both.
Starting point is 00:32:44 You should check it out. Okay. Yeah, I'll try some Afghani food. Or dumplings, you know, put mantu. So is it similar to Nepalese food or nothing even close? No. I'm not familiar with Nepalese food, but. Afghan mantu, wow.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Damn, that looks good, what's in that? Well, you can have meat or vegetables, it could be vegetarian or not. And then you have a meat sauce with yogurt on top. Yogurt and garlic basically. Okay. And mint, dried mint. How are the meals?
Starting point is 00:33:12 Are they like, do they go full hog or is it just like. I mean, again, people are very hospitable. I mean, if they have one goat or cow, they'll kill it for you and they'll feed you. It's very important to ensure your guests are happy and satisfied. And you need to have, you know, they keep on like forcing you to eat more food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like Israeli for sure. Yeah. And until you can't move. But I, you know, people walk around and because of the altitude it's, you know, we don't have a lot of overweight people, but I think a lot of
Starting point is 00:33:44 Western people when they go there, because they're always driving around, they tend to put on weight. Yeah, yeah, I was in Vietnam and they were like, there's no, was it Vietnam? No, it was China, I forget. In Vietnam, they're like, there's no fat Vietnamese people. And I'm like, that one's fat, and the guy's like,
Starting point is 00:34:00 that's Korean, he's a fucking American Korean visiting. I'm like, oh yeah, all right. Do they have like regular Western food as well? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can get pizza, you can get burgers, you can get all sorts of things. People are interested and curious, especially in the cities.
Starting point is 00:34:16 So many Afghans have traveled outside. So they have, you know, you can get almost anything. And is that what people eat? Well, most people eat Afghan food. Okay. They feel more comfortable eating local dishes, but a lot of younger people go out and they have bigger cafes or they get takeaway.
Starting point is 00:34:33 So. I was in Austria and my friend took us out to, she was like, this is the cool new spot. We were like, oh, we're gonna get some Austrian food. This will be great. And she took us to a burrito place. And she's like, well, this is what everyone is eating right now. Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay, this would be great. And she took us to a burrito place. And she's like, well this is what everyone is eating right now.
Starting point is 00:34:46 I'm like, oh okay, this is the authentic, this is the real one, I guess. But nothing is ever constant. Things are, you know, people's, what they eat in any country, in any culture, always evolves, right? It's influenced by things from the outside. Right. You have the banh mi with the baguette. Yeah. Yeah, the banh mi. Right?
Starting point is 00:35:05 With the baguette. Yeah. Yeah, that's not. So, but anyway, Afghan food is, you know, I think what was one of the highlights of visiting the place, but you, you would also know, I'm sure if you go to Brooklyn, to this place in Brooklyn, you will also enjoy that meal.
Starting point is 00:35:18 You know the name of it? No, but I can look it up. Yeah, all right, tell me later. In New York or New York Times. Yeah, I'll find it later. I think it's a review, yeah. So, you saw Lone Survivor, the movie? No.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Okay, well it's this, it's one guy in a troop, he's trying to attack a Taliban, whatever, and it's supposed to be based on a true story. I think it's Marky Mark. And they're chasing him and everyone else gets killed, and then he chases him, they chase him down to this village and somebody's like, oh, we'll protect you. Cause they're like, we have an obligation
Starting point is 00:35:48 to protect a visitor. Is that like a real vibe? Yeah, Afghans are very stubborn, but very loyal. So, and you know, a guest, looking after a guest and protecting a guest and feeding a guest, all those things are very important culturally to most Afghans, even if it means loss of life. Wow, so if you're walking around, not you, but if you're walking around, you'd get invited over
Starting point is 00:36:15 or people would talk to you? Yeah, I mean I think- A white guy like this, you know? Yeah, I think people are gonna be very curious about you and ask you, and I mean you could look Afghans, there are Afghans who have blue eyes and they're fair. Oh really? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Interesting. And look it up. Yeah. But especially if you're an American, I think people would be curious and ask you questions. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I remember her. Who's she? She appeared on the cover of National Geographic
Starting point is 00:36:48 in like 1980 or 81. There it is, yeah, she became a big. And then they had to find her, and there was this program where they attempted to see where she was and they eventually found her again. Really? Yeah. So the one on the, that's her on the right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Is her nose blown off? No, that's another, that's another person. Oh, okay. How cheap is it? It's very cheap. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, that's good.
Starting point is 00:37:17 You want, well, I don't think, I think people are gonna take care of you. Yeah. I don't think you'll be spending too much money. Okay, but I mean like not many listeners if they wanna go. Yeah, well I think it's quite cheap. It's quite cheap, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Relative to the region it's very cheap, yeah. Oh, even there? Yes. Damn, interesting. Okay, how about bathrooms? You know, you better get used to a hole in the ground. It's a hole? Well, they do have Western bathrooms,
Starting point is 00:37:49 and guest rooms, and hotels, and so forth. But a lot of, you know, if you're in the countryside, it's either behind the bushes or in a, you know. Outside? Well, yes, or in a traditional outhouse. Okay, what do you got in your house? Well, we have, most people have Western bathrooms. Do you have one of each? You know how they have a bathroom? It's like a toilet and then,
Starting point is 00:38:08 and then a urinal. I could see them going like, here's a hole. If you want it, here's a sit. If you want it. No, we have a traditional bathroom. Okay. We'll organize one for you. Yeah. Okay. That's something that bothers you. No, I mean, I, I, I hate using them, the squats when I have to. It's better for you. Whatever. I guess, but I'm just not raised with it. You know, so processed foods aren't good for you.
Starting point is 00:38:31 But I've heard of people, uh, not being able to squat properly and then slipping and falling into one, not fully falling into one, but a foot inside. I mean, if your ass touches the top of that, you got to cut your ass off. Well, worst things in that have happened to people. So who'd you hang out with there? What's your crew there in Kabul? Well, I mean, Afghanistan is a place you make friends very easily. So you know we had our staff members, we had people in the government, we had people in the opposition, other journalists, foreign diplomats, visiting journalists.
Starting point is 00:39:11 I mean, we were always busy meeting people and talking to people. I don't know, it's a place, you have to be very social. Yeah. Or sociable. It was fun, it's still fun. I have not been back for three years. Why? Well, because of what's going on,
Starting point is 00:39:34 I just thought, because if I do go back, it's just the optics, I have to meet with the government and I just, I'm not sure how this government's gonna be viewed in 10 years time, it's better for me to keep a lower profile. But we still have 400, 500 people working there. Do you ever get physically attacked? Not outside, inside the country no,
Starting point is 00:39:59 but it's in the book, we've been targets, we were targets for 20 odd years. We lost 12 staff members because of suicide bombers. Hitting the radio? One of our buses was attacked in 2016. Killed seven of our employees, injured another 15. And then subsequent to that attack, there were a number of other smaller attacks
Starting point is 00:40:27 and we lost another five journalists. Specifically about your company? The bus that was attacked the first time, we were specifically targeted. Over what? Because of stories we had done and they view this as being biased and anti-Taliban. Killed seven people.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Yes. And now is that like a national scandal or is it just, is it normalized? It was a national, well, it was a big story because we were a major TV network and as such it was a, you know, it was big news. Yeah. But then for most ordinary Afghans,
Starting point is 00:41:07 it was a daily occurrence. There were attacks and people were getting killed. So we were not the only ones. I mean, we went through what probably most other Afghans had to also go through over that period. I mean, Afghanistan has been sort of mired in conflict since late 1979 when the Soviets invaded. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:30 I mean, today, relatively speaking, there's no fighting. So 79, that means anyone in their 40s has never seen much of a peaceful place. Except now maybe, ironically. Wow. Who's in charge now of the Taliban? Yes. With no like Al-Qaeda or ISIS involvement or?
Starting point is 00:41:53 ISIS is active but obviously it's not a daily thing. They attack from time to time. For now at least, it seems that they're not a major threat to the Taliban. So it's just like a regional group, kind of like the, I don't know, like a gang in the Bronx would be. They're not gonna attack by night at all.
Starting point is 00:42:19 But they've struck against targets in different parts of the country, in the north, in the middle, in Kabul. But it's not a daily thing. Whereas before it was a daily thing. It would be an attack somewhere. And other groups exist, but it's hard to say how active they are. But nonetheless, an ordinary Afghan can travel freely.
Starting point is 00:42:47 Because before- With no one pushing them around. Yeah, and it doesn't have to fear for safety. Whereas before, if they had to go from city to city, they're always afraid because of the fighting that they would be targeted or attacked. But now I think people don't have that fear. So people feel safer today than they have for many decades.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Hi guys, today's episode of You Be Chippin' is brought to you by SkylightFrame.com. Now, Skylight Framed is a digital frame that takes, kind of like this, like a book, but imagine this, it's a frame, it's a digital frame, so you can give it to your mother. That's the way she can keep track of your life and the things you've done, and that's what my mother has,
Starting point is 00:43:23 and all the nephews, my nephews, her grandkids, andkids and me and the siblings we send pictures of places we've been because we don't want to call there When you're in Paris, just say hey mom. Hey, here's a picture of me in front of the Eiffel Tower Another fun thing is if you send your mom this thing sends you a code Which you can send to all the grandkids and just upload whatever picture you have so you keep track of your life It's actually pretty cool. My mom does use it and when I'm in another country, I'll take a picture and upload it. A fun thing to do though is to upload a picture of your balls and just send that there. Just fuck with them. Doesn't say you have to be a nice picture. Skylight Frames doesn't decide what you find funny. They just let you go. So sure, upload a picture of your wedding. Also upload a picture of something disgusting, a dead cat. It's up to you. Skylight Frames
Starting point is 00:44:08 doesn't worry about that. If you're looking for a perfect gift this holiday season, look no further than Skylight Frame. It's a digital touchscreen photo frame that your whole family will love. Upload thousands of photos with your phone and watch them appear in seconds. And now, there's a special limited time offer for our listeners. Get $20 off your first purchase at Skylight Frame when you go to skylightframe.com slash trippin'. That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A-M-E dot com slash trippin'.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Get $20 off your first purchase now at skylightframe.com slash trippin'. Legitimately, I also have one of these in my office in my studio in New York and I have all my travel pictures up there in Scrolls Throne. It's actually fun, reminds you of places you've been. It's cool for yourself and for your mom,
Starting point is 00:44:50 just in case you're an orphan. Now back to the episode. Wow, so the mood, the mood's gotta be way better now than it was then. Yes and no. I mean, I think the international engagement was very important for the economy. You know, when you have this many troops
Starting point is 00:45:05 and the government was getting a lot of help. Outside money coming in. And although the money went to the contractors and others, but filtered down to the ordinary Afghans as well, but today that's gone. So economically, people are in a, they're worse off. But the other thing is, because of the sanctions, you know, the Taliban were a sanctioned movement,
Starting point is 00:45:25 it's individual sanctioned. So when they took power, the country is indirectly sanctioned, which means that a lot of companies are afraid to invest in the country. It's a bad word, Taliban. You're like, Taliban businessman. You're like, what, a partner in here?
Starting point is 00:45:43 You're like, what are you, crazy? An American company wouldn't risk it because they may get sanctioned by the US Treasury. But also the other problem is that humanitarian assistance, whereas before would be channeled through the government, like for example, the government has thousands of clinics through which you can help kids. All of a sudden, you can't do that through the government.
Starting point is 00:46:04 So you have to do it through the government so you have to do it through the NGO community through the UN which is a very expensive because these institutions are very inept perhaps even corrupt. So the assistance that need to reach people don't reach them so the humanitarian crisis is very very serious. You know half the population doesn't have food security like a third of the population, they don't have proper housing that's insulated, that can protect them against the elements.
Starting point is 00:46:30 You have, like, And that's, wow. Like you have three and a half million kids who are suffering from malnutrition. And hundreds of thousands of kids will have development issues as they get older. They don't get enough vitamins and minerals. So the country is not, it's in a good place in some ways, but it's not in a good place in a lot of other ways.
Starting point is 00:46:59 And in a weird way, it's the Americans and Europeans and others who continue to litigate against the Taliban in the process hurting the Afghan population. Which happens, right? Yeah. Yeah, my friend went to Michelle Wolf, she's a comedian, she went to maybe UAE, I don't know, one of those countries where women are just like not really equal.
Starting point is 00:47:27 And everyone got on her, she went to perform. And it was like, how dare you, why did you go there? And she goes, maybe it's something cool to show them like a strong independent woman. Why don't we show them a version of womanhood instead of just saying like, I'll never go there. Like you're not actually helping by not going there. How are women there in Afghanistan?
Starting point is 00:47:46 Well, I mean, obviously in this environment with these new decrees, and I don't know if you've seen these new decrees which have been issued in terms of women not showing their faces or raising their voices and so forth. I like that. Like a man, if we could have that here
Starting point is 00:48:00 where they can't raise their voices, I'd be down. Not showing their faces, I do not respect that. Well, but in practice, of course, women are active. They go out and about, they drive. They do drive, fine. No one looks in the way. I don't think a lot of women wanna drive, but the ones who do have a car and wanna drive,
Starting point is 00:48:16 they can drive. Everyone wears hijabs or not really? No, you have to cover your head, but not face. In the cities. In the cities. It all depends in terms of how strictly they impose their rules by the local authorities. And you know the Taliban like you know like say the Republican Party is going to be different in New York to California to somewhere in the deep south, right? So some Taliban officials in some parts of the country
Starting point is 00:48:48 have a more liberal approach to things and some are more conservative. And so it depends on local implementation of these decrees and rules. Oh yeah, good point. I remember after COVID, I met, nearby here I met a rabbi who was very beginning, it was still before the shutdowns. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:07 I met a rabbi and he was like, hey come by, you know, he knew me from whatever, from comedy. And he said, come by sometime when we open back up again. I was like, you're closed? It was like right before the shutdowns. He goes, yeah. And I'm like, why? I thought religious exemption. And he was like, well disease doesn't care.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I'm not putting any old men at risk here. But across town, they were like, oh, we're staying open. I don't care how bad it gets. And they suffered, right? Maybe, I really don't know. But the idea is like, Jews do this, like no, no, this Jew says we're shutting down, go pray at home. This Jew says, no, you still have to come. So it's not like one, it sounds like it's there too.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Yeah, but you know, with any situation, it's never that black and white. Right. There's a lot of nuance. Yeah. And it's easier to paint a black and white picture of any, you know, all Muslims are bad, or all, you know, Christians are aggressive,
Starting point is 00:50:00 or you know, whatever. But even with the Taliban, you know, I think there's, it is not that black and white. And there are people who are more pragmatic within the Taliban movement, and there are ones who are much more conservative. Right. Can you get laid in Afghanistan?
Starting point is 00:50:17 If you're married, you can. Or if you're a westerner. Yeah. Do people have relationships outside marriage? I'm sure it would be less. And if you're not in the wholesale, but I mean like if, if, if, if someone's like, Hey, I came to visit, uh, yeah, I had sex the first day and the ninth day, just some random, is that like what, or is that like, Oh cool, whatever.
Starting point is 00:50:40 If you get laid in New York, that's not that notable. Well, technically it's against the law. Okay. But I think that if you're caught being friendly with a Western woman. Western woman. Yeah, they would leave you alone. But Afghani women's aren't?
Starting point is 00:50:53 No, I think that would be a bit of an issue. Okay. That would caution you to not try. Not try. I have no game anyway, so what's the issue? To resist for a week. Do they have a problem with like, some places are like, if let's say you have a girlfriend
Starting point is 00:51:08 and you're staying somewhere, they're like, hey, just say you're married because they don't want a boyfriend girlfriend staying in the same hotel room. Well, I would think it's like the US military, well in the old days, you know, they won't ask and you don't tell, but I think with Westerners, they understand that, you know, people have long-term relationships
Starting point is 00:51:27 and people can tend to leave you alone. And that's like, you guys do it, it's fine too. Yeah, they'll probably volunteer to watch. Did I get porn and stuff now? Is there any influx of like, cool parts of Western culture? I think that that's probably one of the reasons a lot of Afghans get the internet.
Starting point is 00:51:48 For porn. It's a phenomena that's, you know, it's consistent throughout the world, right? Sure that's true. We had to create all sorts of filters because our own staff members would, you know, download things they shouldn't, you know, and... What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:52:05 I mean, they would go on all sorts of different sites and we had to like block them. What do you say all sorts of different sites? You just mean porn or you mean like crazy? Gambling, porn, things like that. They'd block them what? Because you couldn't trust them to do their work or because it was evil to look at it?
Starting point is 00:52:20 No, because of work and also you shouldn't be looking at those sorts of things. I'm not saying majority, when I'm saying there were instances with, you know, young men would download things they shouldn't. Did you hear that Elon Musk thing? He went on Contact Ethical Tribe somewhere on the Amazon or something.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Yeah. He goes, I'm gonna get you guys internet, I'm gonna get you guys what you need. Yeah. Out of the goodness of his heart. Yeah. And then immediately they're all watching porn 19 hours a day.
Starting point is 00:52:43 Well, I had a really interesting, we had, so we do a lot of work in terms of polio eradication. Polio eradication, okay. And Bill Gates is a big funder of that. God, he's huge with that and the, what's the one the mosquitoes give you? Malaria. Malaria, yeah. There's no funding for malaria research,
Starting point is 00:53:03 if not for Bill Gates. He's like 98% of it. Yeah, and it's, you know, I mean, he's, to his credit, he wants to do it, but he also wants to be the person who eradicates polio forever, and he got very close to it. So anyway, I was invited to a dinner, says Bill Gates and a whole bunch of people, like prominent Middle Eastern ministers
Starting point is 00:53:19 and the head of McKinsey's, and you know, and they go around the table table and no one's drinking wine except Bill Gates and he's putting down these wines and they go around the table and everyone is like how did you know let's go around the table and discuss how the internet's impacted you and one guy says we know well it's about education sir and they're all making these comments you know standard comments to impress Bill Gates so and I'm probably the last person to say something. So it comes to me, he said, what do you think of the internet
Starting point is 00:53:51 and how it's impacted people in Afghanistan? I said, I'll tell you a story. One day, our head of finance, this gentleman probably in his 50s comes in, he looks around, closes the door, sits down, he said, sir, what's a she-male? Because he'd looked it up on the internet. So, you know, for a lot of people in these countries,
Starting point is 00:54:13 the internet is all about that. Joe Rogan would love that. And he couldn't even pronounce it properly. And it took me a while to figure out what he was trying to say. And it took me a while to figure out what he was trying to say. But. That's a Himalayan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:26 So, yeah, I think, you know, it's, it's, you know, the internet's not, you know, we all thought, you know, 30 years ago, the internet was gonna change the world in a very positive way. Yeah. But even without the social, you know, these social media companies, I mean,
Starting point is 00:54:42 I think, you know, a lot of. Is there Afghan social media? Well, they're on Instagram and TikTok and so forth, yeah. I wonder how that's changing this fucking very traditional world to like, hey, you're part of the world now. Yeah, kicking and screaming. Yeah, it's like you can see it all, so you're in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Such a massive quick change. But Afghans and others suffer from the same things. You've got fake news. Yeah. You know, the Russians and the Chinese and others are obviously amplifying all sorts of anti-Western stories. There's a lot of like. Interesting, and they're reading those.
Starting point is 00:55:22 There's a lot of like, there's a lot of hatred along ethnic or religious lines that's amplified by these social media companies. I mean, the algorithms affect the Afghans as much as they affect you guys. So this fragmentation of this world is not just the Western world, it's also impacting people in our neck of the woods.
Starting point is 00:55:46 Wow. Damn, so people turning against each other. Yeah, I mean I think the good thing is that internet penetration is still pretty small. Do most people have it or not really? Well, either 42 million people, something like eight million people have it. 42 million people in Afghanistan?
Starting point is 00:56:02 Yes. It's population. It's huge. It's population doubled from 2001 to until now. It's got, it's annual growth rates, 3%. It'll be at a hundred million people by like 2060, 2070. Annual growth rate, God damn. It'll be a hundred million, Jesus. Well, so they predict.
Starting point is 00:56:20 There's no space for that. Well, it's the size of Texas. Yeah. So it's not that small, but it's not that big either. Yeah, Texas doesn't have 100 million people. So much of that is like that nothing land. It's all this shit. So where's everybody going to go?
Starting point is 00:56:36 Yeah. Well, I think that's what a lot of people are afraid of. Yeah. We have Afghan refugees in Europe is a major concern. People leave because they're like it's I can't make any money here. Well if you look at if you look at the map, we're literally two countries away from Europe. Iran, Turkey and then you see Europe. Yeah. So for the Europeans any sort of conflict in this region is a huge concern. I mean the any European government, any European government today,
Starting point is 00:57:12 their biggest concern is immigration. Because it will ensure that that government's toppled if they're not managing it well enough. Why? Because of this hysteria about immigrants coming in, taking their jobs, or causing crime. You see that London thing? All these riots of one guy stabbing somebody, and it's like, every time they get you riled up, it's like you're looking at it in a vacuum. It's like somebody stabs you.
Starting point is 00:57:38 I'm like, well, what's the national average of stabbings per person? Like, is that lower or higher? But we're so geared on stories. You must do this in your shows too. Where it's like the story goes so much further than statistics. They tell you LASIK eye surgery is so safe. It's it's it's got a failure rate of one out of a hundred thousand.
Starting point is 00:57:55 You're like, no, my uncle went blind. That's the one out of a hundred thousand. Have you had LASIK? Yeah, I've had it too. It's great. I got to do it again. I think it's just starting to wear out. It's been about eight years. Oh really? Yeah. I've had it too. It's great, I gotta do it again I think. It's just starting to wear off, it's been about eight years. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:58:07 Yeah, it's tearing my phone too much. Mine's still 2020 actually. Really? It's been 10 years, yeah. But they said that the lens is thick enough that I can have a second one. Oh really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Oh, maybe I can't have a second one. You can have a second one, yeah. I gotta look at it, see how thick my lens is. Yes. What a manly way to put it. It's funny because I told my friend, he said, listen, I had this doctor who did it for me, and I said, I'm one guy who's experienced.
Starting point is 00:58:31 So, and then he said, the guy's done 6,000 operations. So I went to see him. The thing I forgot was, if you've done 6,000 operations, you're pretty old. You're 78 years old. So the guy's hands were shaking. Like, nope. No, I did it I did it. Put your last 10. But yeah but immigration is is is is an important issue because it's about loss of identity.
Starting point is 00:58:56 Right if your country is all of a sudden you know full of people from a different culture, different religion what happens to our, what happens to our culture, what happens to our religion. I'm not saying it's justified, but these concerns need to be addressed. So it's also the case in the United States. I think what does it mean to be an American, right? Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:20 It breaks that down, what does it mean? So it's like, hey, well, this guy's coming from here. It's like, it's weird, they're like, well, Mexicans should be conservative, they should love Mexicans. They're Catholic, family members, strong family units, you know, it's like, that's who they should want. But it's also, so the question, what I don't get is that
Starting point is 00:59:39 if you look at the economy, if you look at everything, life expectancy, the economy, education levels levels it's never been this good, right? But why are people so unhappy? God the maddest they've ever been everything's the best it's ever been and yet the lowest black unemployment rate in history Black people are madder than yeah Jews have it more equal than we've ever had it. Sorry. I'm afraid everywhere I go. Yeah have it more equal than we've ever had it. It's like, I'm afraid everywhere I go. Yeah. But the question is why?
Starting point is 01:00:09 But I think it's because we tend to not look at today. We always look forward. Because most Americans see things not improving for the next generation, for their kids. And they think they're on top of the hill and they're going downhill from now on. So I think it's that there's nothing to look forward to, it seems. And if you look at the Midwest and if you look at, you know, middle America, probably pass for the first time. You know, the next generation will be worse off. And I think it's
Starting point is 01:00:41 that mentality. And the other thing is, of course, of course we you know we tend to worship this idea of America You know Americans do at least is that their ideal America? which probably was never that perfect to start off with given your history with slavery and everything else and Inequality, but this idea this myth of America. There's a mismatch in terms of what people see today and what they see in the future. Interesting. I talked to a conservative family member. She goes, you know, say whatever you want,
Starting point is 01:01:13 but this is the only country we can show up with 10 bucks in your pocket and you become a millionaire, which I had heard since I was a kid. And then for the first time, I heard it again for the first time, like 20 years, and I was like, break that down for me. You show up, you have $10. You get a slice of pizza for a dollar,
Starting point is 01:01:29 and you find some free water. So you have about one day to find a job where you're homeless and unable to get out of that fucking basket. What's this idea of 10 bucks in your pocket? That's crazy. You can have $1,000 in your pocket and you're crazy. You can have a thousand dollars in your pocket and you're gonna fail.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Yeah, but Ari, let me ask you a question. Why do you have to become a millionaire to be happy? That's a great idea. Right? What happened to family, what happened to friendships? What happened to neighborhood camaraderie? Bro, this is what I fight with all my rich comedian friends. Generosity towards, you know, when you're on your deathbed and you reflect on your life,
Starting point is 01:02:08 what do you think about? And despite the obsession with longevity and living to 300 and whatever, but the disappearance of ours is very brief. And we just don't enjoy the things we should enjoy. We don't care for our parents. We neglect them. We kick our kids out at sort of 18 or 19. We're not particularly friendly with our neighbors.
Starting point is 01:02:35 We don't even know. No. Right? In the West, I'm saying. Yeah. And I mean, and you know, this is me looking back, you know, with these ideas of modernizing Afghanistan and things like that. And I ask myself, what right did I have to tell people
Starting point is 01:02:50 they should drive a car if they're happier to, you know, to ride a donkey and get there in three hours, while they're on the back of the donkey, they can think about life and they can think about their kids, they can relax. This idea of everything on speed. You know that fisherman, uh, fable, which one is an old man runs a fishing
Starting point is 01:03:13 boat and he fishes all day and then makes money and they're like, why don't you ever like hire someone else to help you fish? You know, this one, no, 10 minutes. And then the guy goes, well, then what it goes, well, then you could like catch more fish. He goes, and then what? He goes, then you could afford another boat. He goes, and then what? He goes, then you could catch even more fish
Starting point is 01:03:32 with a second boat and keep going and get a fleet of ships. Yeah. He goes, and then what? He goes, then you could retire. He goes, okay then what? He goes, then you could do whatever you want. He goes, I just want to fish. It's about doing that.
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's so true. Yeah. No, I think the material, well, materialism, which is a form of religion, this obsession with wealth and accumulation of wealth, of assets, it's one of the things that is so destructive. You look at Instagram. I mean, I talked today with my friend.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Yeah. He was like, I'm not happy and I'm rich and I don't know how to give up a podcast and just like settle on my family and my life. And like, what's important? I was like, buddy, you gotta write down what's important. What's not getting you there. Listen, if you get a contractor job for three days
Starting point is 01:04:15 lifting concrete and they pay you $20 million, sure, do it. But if it's a nine to five for 28 grand a year forever, don't do that one. So where are you in the middle of those two things? Listen, people borrow whether to go to university or to buy a house, and then you become slaves to your ambitions, to your greed. But most people are not like that.
Starting point is 01:04:39 But they're brainwashed that you need to have three degrees. You need to have three degrees. You need to have two houses. You have to, and if you don't, you're a failure. You have to go to Aspen Skiing, or you have to go to the south of France. I mean, everyone has his own ambitions, depending on their environments, but people are becoming slaves to this.
Starting point is 01:05:05 This American dream is one that's imposed on people in a lot of ways. But people are becoming slaves to this, you know, this American dream is one that's imposed on people in a lot of ways. It's a rat race that you're forced into and you can't get off. Yeah, now they advertise, they're like, they just push these ideas to you, like you're falling behind if you're not. On Instagram, you see all your friends taking vacations
Starting point is 01:05:21 every single day. That's all they show is their best pictures. I need that life. But that's only 5% of their existence. They're showing you. They never show you pictures. The people who have kids see their friends with kids only in their best days. They don't see their oldest son kicking their youngest son and them going, shut, stop it. And spilling milk. And you know, they don't ever show those pictures. It's always them with their hair brushed and like.
Starting point is 01:05:47 So I think a lot of people in Western societies are not happy. That's why, I mean, how many people take medication for depression in this country, for example? So how's the Afghani happiness? You know what, so years ago I went to Pakistan and there were a lot of Afghan refugees including members of our family.
Starting point is 01:06:12 We're talking about the mid 1990s. And I remember asking someone, I said, you know, exactly your question. Depression, you know, the experience, people with depression and how do you deal with them? He said most people are too busy surviving to get depressed. And if you look at depression rates in places like Australia where I grew up, or Sweden, they're very high,
Starting point is 01:06:35 because in a lot of ways life is easy. Yeah. You know, some of the, I always tell my friends. Life is too easy to start, yeah, go ahead. I always tell my friends, I mean, the greatest gift you can give your children is the opportunity to struggle. There's a fable in Judaism that God loves his creatures, right?
Starting point is 01:06:54 Yeah. He doesn't want them to suffer. You have kids? Yeah. Okay, so your kid's like having trouble with something. You're like, let me help you with that. Yeah. You know, they can't reach something on the top shelf.
Starting point is 01:07:02 You're like, I'm taller than you, let me help you. I don't want you to like, in pain. So God loves all his children. So he's like, let me make it with that. You know, they can't reach something on the top shelf. You're like, I'm taller than you, let me help you. I don't want you to like, in pain. So God loves all his children. So he's like, let me make it easy for you. And he just made crops grow easily. He made plenty of cattle. He goes, don't worry, you never have to toil and sow the fields,
Starting point is 01:07:15 because I'm just gonna give you the crops. And they were like, this is awesome. And then within a short time, they're like, let's murder that tribe over there. And it was all just war. And he goes, oh, I need you guys to suffer a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I think we, a lot of us deserve some stuff. Some form of suffering.
Starting point is 01:07:32 So what should people let's, let's kind of, I know you got to go. This is interesting though. And it does make me want to go to Afghanistan. What would you tell people? All right. I'm headed out next week. What do I got to pack? What do I got to prepare for? Well, if you're going now, it's going to start to get cold. Okay. Um, it's mountain. So it's freezing. It can get freezing, but it's nice during the day, especially when the sun is out. Okay. Um, I think, you know, I think just go as you are, you know, it's funny. Uh, uh, David Cho, you know him, right?
Starting point is 01:08:05 I just wrote a millennial. So I wanted to go. So he came to Carvel. Really? It's funny, David Cho, you know him, right? I just wrote a millennium, so I wanted to be on. So he came to Carvel. Really? I took him for three days, but the only clothing he took with him were shorts, flip flops, and a couple of singlets. What I meant to be had a robe on and a red line down his head.
Starting point is 01:08:18 Yeah, ask him about it. Who are you? So he was there, he did graffiti. Oh really? No, no, but this is the funny thing. So the mayor's office, because I knew the mayor, I rang him up, I said, this very famous graffiti artist is gonna come and do some work.
Starting point is 01:08:30 And so he did this thing on the side of the wall. Obviously, some people would say it's a valuable piece of work. Mayor, the next day, just repainted the whole thing. So it was so ugly. I said, yeah, but that's graffiti, you know, it's anyway, so David was was there for for three or four days he traveled he went to panchayr and traveled around but wearing his flip-flops and his and his shorts and
Starting point is 01:08:55 I had you know, just told him, you know, don't try this hug The women women and you know be well, which he was, he was quite well behaved. And he was good. He got some local clothing and ordered some local stuff. Can you look people in the eye? Is that, are there any problems like that? Like social dynamics you wouldn't know? No, no, you can look at people.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Okay. People are very accepting. They're very open and they can, they don't judge you too quickly, especially if you're a foreigner. Yeah, what sports do you guys play? Well, the Afghan national game is called Bouskashi. It's dragging a sand-filled calf from one circle
Starting point is 01:09:39 into another circle. What? A sand- filled calf? It weighs about 80 kilograms, which is about a couple of hundred pounds. And as you're lifting it and putting it in the circle, the other side attempts to stop you from doing it. It's like scoring a goal.
Starting point is 01:10:01 It's like US football. Yeah, you get whipped and you and, and, you know, you have to be very strong to be able to hold it and pull it up. And you would launch into this hole. No, it's a circle. Okay. It's a circle. But, um, yeah, like this picture. Yeah. This is the national sport. This is the national sport. Everybody plays this growing up. I don't think everyone can play it cause it's a, you've got to be good rider. You've got to be very strong, but they play football as in soccer they play cricket volleyball basketball
Starting point is 01:10:28 okay but this is the national game wow that's fucking cool damn they seem tough yeah it's a did you vote but did you watch Rambo yeah oh he played it in there yeah yeah was that Afghanistan yeah Yeah, Rambo, was it two? I think, yeah. Interesting. Yeah, oh wait, YouTube, there's a video of it. Yeah, get a video. Watch. Muskashi. A famous Central Asian game. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Oh wow. The horses ever get hurt?
Starting point is 01:11:08 Must. Yeah. What? But these are amateurs, these guys playing. So you gotta find a video that has... I'll send one to you. But apparently they say that it's a leftover from the, from a Genghis Khan. That makes sense. And they used to do it with a, with the bodies of their enemies. No. Yeah. Damn that's bad. And then play sports with it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:38 What a fucking baller move. What a, not just did we defeat you, where our kids are going gonna eat popcorn. Oh wow Yeah, I gotta get the dude fucking fell right off his horse. Yeah, this is I think this may be this may be in Central Asia well, oh So it's all over the region. Yeah, but an Afghanistan it's huge. Yeah, and I think the afghans are probably Jesus Afghans are probably. Oh Jesus! Afghans are the best at it. God damn, they hit each other or they just. Yeah, in Afghanistan you can whip each other too.
Starting point is 01:12:11 It's so manly, it's so manly. They don't give a fuck, they get, wow you gotta look at it right off your horse to pick it up. Yeah, it's heavy. This, I'm sure this is in Uzbekistan or somewhere, but the Afghan one is very heavy, and we use real calves. They fill it up with sand, they soak it overnight in water. To get it heavier.
Starting point is 01:12:32 To get it heavier. So it's probably a couple hundred pounds. You jump off your horse and throw it in. But the Afghan one only has a circle like this, right? In the middle, okay, on the sand. Yeah. God damn. So you gotta be very acrobatic to, you know.
Starting point is 01:12:48 They must get hit, like trampled, in their heads, or leaning all the way down to the ground. So it's a winter sport, so if you come in winter, you can watch this, and you can ski. You can ski in Afghanistan? Well, you have to walk up, but in central Afghanistan, in Bombayon, it's fantastic. Do you ski?
Starting point is 01:13:02 Yeah, I love it. So it's like, So you hike up and then hike and then ski down? So a friend of mine, a Swiss guy, who helped develop skiing in Afghanistan said to me, it's probably as good as Sapporo in Japan. In terms of the quality of the snow, the powder you get is phenomenal.
Starting point is 01:13:19 Wow. It's really high. On touch, probably. On touch, yeah. You gotta walk up for like a couple hours. Or, you know, probably can, you know, people can arrange heli skiing. But no lifts?
Starting point is 01:13:30 No lifts. Damn. No thanks. I'm not walking up two hours, we got one run. One run, yeah. But I'm sure we can figure something out. Where you smoke weed on the, you get on the lift, you smoke some weed,
Starting point is 01:13:44 then you ski down, then repeat. Well, that's another reason a lot of people go to Afghanistan. Oh, fuck, how did I forget about this? The weed and the poppy, the heroin? Well, there's obviously opium's banned now, but obviously Afghanistan supplied like 80% of the world's opium and heroin.
Starting point is 01:14:01 But hashish, Afghan black hash. How is it? Well, they say it's the best on the park off. They say you've never tried hash. No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's Afghanistan is known for its hash. God, I gotta get some of that. The, you know, it's readily available. It's readily available. Gold standard. Coffee shops, they give it to you. Or where do you get it? Anywhere. I think they can get a big block and someone will give you a brick. God damn.
Starting point is 01:14:27 Hash is the best. People just like pull off a little bit, you roll it thin, put it in a spliff. Yes. Oh, it's great. People just break off a little piece. Not here because I think a lot of, you know, especially.
Starting point is 01:14:37 Nobody smokes hash here. No, because that marijuana that people smoke is so strong, right? Yeah. Hash has just been designed to smoke, you know, for the entire evening and it gets you into a right? Yeah. Hashish has been designed to smoke, you know, for the entire evening. And it gets you into a zone. Yeah. Yeah. That has that contributes to one's happiness. Right.
Starting point is 01:14:55 That's what you gotta get. I suspect that you would may go there just for that reason. Yeah. We'll just sit down at a guy's place. So would they, would the locals spoke to? Yes. Wow. So we just sit and get high with the locals. Yes. And just shoot the shit. How's their, how's the English? A lot of people speak English. Yeah. Yeah. In just the major cities. I think everywhere because of the international community, Afghans are very multilingual. Every Afghan speaks like two, three languages.
Starting point is 01:15:20 So they pick up, you know, because you have your local language, you have, uh, the lingua franca of the country is Persian, our own dialect of Persian. So everyone speaks Persian, but they also speak local languages like Pashto and Uzbek and so forth. Um, but a lot of people speak English nowadays. Damn. That's great. Yeah. Oh, you're selling me on it. Yeah. Yeah. Go talk to some fucking local Afghanis smokes a hella weed. Eat some, eat some of that non. Eat some of the non. That's some of that rice. Watch one of the Boscashi game. Yeah. That's your itinerary for the, for,
Starting point is 01:15:56 for the week. Okay. What should people avoid when they're there touching women or something like that, but like anything like, Hey, don't. Okay. Yeah. I think be respectful when, you know, when, hey, don't. Be respectful. Okay. Yeah, I think be respectful when you know, don't lecture people. It's everywhere. Yeah, don't talk politics. Booze?
Starting point is 01:16:14 It's illegal. But as a foreigner, I think that, you know, I think foreigners, the UN and other places are allowed to drink and, but you will not be able to, I don't think you'll be able to find it in the I don't know it's just what to expect yeah I would be fine getting crazy hashed up yes you will especially with no peer pressure to drink no no and you sleep better yeah and oh yeah so you're going back when
Starting point is 01:16:41 are you gonna go back maybe I'll go back with you. Yeah. Okay. Dude. Yeah. Get me settled. I always get so nervous when I go to a new place for a day or two. And then I'm like, okay, I think I'm ready. Thank you. Yeah. I'm off. You'd fly by Dubai. Okay. Or Turkey. Okay. So you've flight Emirates to Kabul to Dubai. You stay in Dubai for a couple of days or one day and then you fly into Kabul. And then just go from there?
Starting point is 01:17:09 Yeah, it's two hours away from Dubai. Where's Dubai? Dubai's in UAE, yeah. So it's 14 hours from New York to Dubai. Hang for the night. 24 hours rest and then you go into Kabul. Yeah, I'm going. And Yoshi will come too.
Starting point is 01:17:27 Yeah, Yoshi will come too for sure. Oh, that makes me so happy that I just thought it was like my opportunity to go has been, it's over now that the US left, but that's been someone's- No, I think it's easier for you now because you'll be able to travel more. Whereas previously it would have been,
Starting point is 01:17:42 you know, it would have been a security issue for you to travel- Because I would be a target before Like oh, here's yes American. Let's fuck with them. So we can work with them Yeah, and now it's just like you're not in Taliban or al-qaeda or I said the guys the guys were gonna get you Before are now in charge and they will welcome you Damn All right, well this is books available everywhere now it is
Starting point is 01:18:03 Radio free Afghanistan or 20-year od year Odyssey for an independent voice in Kabul. Sadam Ossani with some chick. It's Jenna Krojewski helping him write Jenna. That's what I would need to. Damn, this is crazy. And you don't fear for your safety or you do. Well, not outside. Well, you have a you have a walled guard? In Kabul? Yeah. Well in Kabul we used to have a lot of security.
Starting point is 01:18:30 But the most the best way to remain secure is to, you know, to not be that obvious. To, you know, not have too many bodyguards. To be very just low key. Yeah. You know the more security you have the more attention you draw to yourself. just low key. You know, the more security you have, the more attention you draw to yourself.
Starting point is 01:18:46 Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So, okay, I wouldn't go outside with a lot of money and flashiness, not that I do anyway. Buddy, this was great, this was very interesting. Thank you, thanks Ari. Yeah, congratulations on the book, that's fucking massive feat. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:19:04 Yeah, yeah, letting us DJ run your radio show is way different than actually writing the book. That's fucking massive feat. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Letting us DJ run your radio show is way different than actually writing a book. It seems way harder. Well, it's a story of what we built. The fighter turned media chief took one look at me, declared me a waste of time, and kicked me out of his office. It's a random sentence I just turned to.
Starting point is 01:19:23 The fighter turned media chief. This is gonna be a fun read. I'll read this. I get so sick of reading, like, trying to catch up on all the books I didn't read in high school, and they're so boring. I'm trying to get caught up on, like,
Starting point is 01:19:34 Fitzgerald and stuff. But there's also an audio version if you're lazy. An earlier version? An audio version. Audio version, yeah. Fuck that. I can't get into that. No, I mean, guys, you should.
Starting point is 01:19:44 But I wanna turn a page. I wanna do the thing where you read seven pages and you're like, oh, I've tuned out. And you have to back up and actually read them. Yeah. I know the feeling. Yeah. You're like, what have I been thinking about?
Starting point is 01:19:56 So, thank you very much. Thank you. Yeah, it's a pleasure. I've heard about you for years now. Thanks. Cool to meet you. I didn't know what to expect. And you too. Well, you guys, that's the episode.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Thank you very much. Saad Moseni for coming in and telling me how I figured it out. It's actually pretty cool, he wants to bring me there. And I wanna go with Yoshi. I mean, listen, I talk about this sometimes, we're talking about boots on the ground. And man, that's what you got.
Starting point is 01:20:20 And I don't mean in terms of soldiers, I mean in terms of showing you around. When I went to Hong Kong or to Shanghai I met the comedy scene Beijing the comedy scenes and so I boots on the ground They told me the cool places to go not the lonely planet. No offense on the planet. I am looking for sponsorship, but I mean I mean to tell you what's actually cool. What's the cool restaurant that just opened up last week? What's the cool bar? Where can you go to get the cheapest hookers? Where do you go get robbed? If you're not Amsterdam, they tell you don't go to that one. That's a tourist one. The bull bar? The bull coffee shop? I forget.
Starting point is 01:20:56 And you should forget too because it's the tourist one with shittier weed. Copenhagen is the best weed in Europe, and I'm not counting Spain. Damn. Radio Free Afghanistan is available wherever you buy books. Also I'll tell you this my special is coming out January 14th. Go ahead and open up your calendar in your phone and set a reminder so it goes and then you can go on Netflix and set okay watch later. Also, if you're watching, by the way, anyone special, just let it play till the end.
Starting point is 01:21:29 If you gotta get back to it, just let it play. Leave the house and let it play. Even if you're done with it, just let it play and do whatever. Because then their dumb fucking algorithm only registers if it goes like a full watch. I mean, all the way through the credits. Just fix your fucking everybody.
Starting point is 01:21:45 YouTube, everybody. Fix your program. Don't ask the art, the artists to cater to the program. Make the program cater to the artists. Do what you want. I'm doing pretty well. My tour is on sale now. Lake Tahoe, Nevada, Austin, this coming weekend sold out. Sorry. You can get standby tickets. Um, Lake Tahoe and then, uh, that's December 21st and then January 1st week starts with Pittsburgh, Providence, Nashville, Schomburg, San Antonio, San Jose, Atlanta, Portland, uh, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando. I know I'm missing one. Seattle, Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary.
Starting point is 01:22:31 Edmonton and Calgary almost sold out, so hurry up. Portland's almost sold out too. Adrian will be there with me for Portland, the Dark Queen. Also watch that, by the way, if you haven't yet. Watch the Dark Queen, guys. There's no bad reviews for it. It's just great if you're looking for a special to watch and if you've ever been like maybe I'm misogynist But I want to face. I just haven't found women funny. This is the one to clear your name So fucking good, and it's not even long mine is too long
Starting point is 01:23:00 I'm gonna not You know the algorithm is not gonna be kind to me. Anyway, very interesting about Afghanistan. I do want to go there. I do want to go there badly and here's gonna take me. I don't know when I'll have time. I'm on the road till like early April. I definitely don't have time before that. And then I got like stuff planned. Maybe 2026. Maybe that's what I'll do when I'm taking off the road By the way, no more dates at it So if I'm in this city if I'm in one of your cities, I won't be there till I mean at least 2028 except Denver Denver
Starting point is 01:23:37 I'll come back as never I'm doing a greatest hit show. It's not new material. It's the greatest hit show We're gonna write down all the bits and collect them and then I'll do all these the best hits I've had over the years whatever you remember fun we did it once before fun Debra I'll come back also come back the rest your SOL stupid Orlando lover let's read a postcard by the way Saad did not bring me any Afghani money Saad send me some Afghani money from my wall my money money wall. Next week I got Bobby Kelly on a remote podcast episode from Havana, Cuba. It's gonna be pretty cool and I brought some Cuban money back and I'll put those up in the episode and
Starting point is 01:24:15 I brought a mask for my whites wall that you can't see. God that was a fun trip but we did it from Havana. One of the first, it's gotta be the second one right? No, Zach, Zane Jureski was the first trip. But we did it from Havana, one of the first, it's gotta be the second one, right? No, Zach, Zane Jurecki was the first one. We did it about Morocco. We did it from a hostel in Paris. That was a good episode. Have you guys voted for this Trippie Awards? Best guest, best trip, worst trip, let's add that.
Starting point is 01:24:38 I'm just culling these. The final one for the episode for the year will be a wrap-up episode. Just me speaking alone about everything. And maybe we'll do the trippy Awards then But yeah, maybe but maybe the week after The next year I got a bunch of them because I have to promote my special So I got a bunch of fucking big ones Gaffigan's coming Ronnie Chang in a couple weeks Bert maybe finally Adm admitting that he never went
Starting point is 01:25:06 to Russia, never even been there. Never even been to fucking Romania to be honest. Obviously that's a lie. Let's read a postcard. So on my Patreon, patreon.com slash ubtrippin, people send in postcards, I don't wanna show you the postcard wall now, but it's crazy. They send me postcards from around the world
Starting point is 01:25:27 and I read them on air and then I put them up and I'm lining my wall. The same way I'm lining out White's wall, I'm also lining the, what's it called, the background over there. So it's gonna like fill up. Don't forget to get his book. I mean, a 20 year odyssey for an independent voice
Starting point is 01:25:44 in Kabul. All these fucking bitch comics who are just like bitching about how things aren't going their way and stand up. Fucking, you know what I mean? And I mean, not even their way. It's rich kids bitching about how it's not done perfectly. This guy's fucking risking his life.
Starting point is 01:26:05 To bring an actual independent voice to journalism. And Jake Hammerhand too, Popular Front, another independent voice. Okay, here's one from Machu Picchu. We've been there. Joe List took us there, Peru. And I got another Peru one coming. But Ayahuasca, it's a good one.
Starting point is 01:26:25 You've been trippin', 151 first Avenue number 49 don't write this down New York, New York 1003 whoa Cool, they've got the fucking stamp on it check that fucking stamp with a llama Fucking badass fucking badass this is a very good postcard look at that, fucking cool get a little closer, I wish I could see insertion am I going to be demonetized for this? look at him, he's having a blast. Look at that guy's face. He's having a good old time. Okay, it says llamas en machu picchu and then the translation
Starting point is 01:27:12 llamas en machu picchu and the translation is llamas jamas en machu picchu. One letter off. The average llama's dick is 15 inches long and sex lasts around 45 minutes. At 11,000 feet, lasting that long is quite impressive and the dick size is decent too. OE? DE? Could be OE, I don't know, is that like a XOXO? Danny Cox, well Danny, thank you very much for the postcard.
Starting point is 01:27:42 This is going up on the Patreon wall, patreon.com slash you be trippin I'm gonna start doing with calm Tiro and do them together Oh You be trippin 151 first Avenue number 49 New York, New York 1003 he sent this one from there to Another fucking stamp some guys send it when they get home because you can't risk it, but I like the stamps. I say risk it.
Starting point is 01:28:08 Look at that. That's fucking bad ass, dude. We got a light. And it's got Cambodia and these people are there. I never saw that lady. I definitely didn't have sex with her. If you say I have sex with her, you're wrong. Unless she's never had a baby, and then you're right, I did have sex with her if you say I have sex with her you're wrong unless she's never had a baby then you're right I did have sex with her it was fucking great we took that hat off we took that hat off if you know what I
Starting point is 01:28:32 mean see him reap Cambodia been there traditional a pass up a Psaro dancers Apas, Apasara Dancers. Oh. Photo 2006, okay. Hey Ari, love the new podcast. I'm out here in Phnom Penh living a chill life on the cheap. God damn it, that makes me jealous. In Phnom Penh. So I was in Phnom Penh once and I, my slippers, my slides
Starting point is 01:29:02 that I brought out Southeast Asia my whole trip. Guys, remember Ari Schreiber's Skeptic Tank and and I did these long long intros and they were cool and then a fucking 20,000 podcast started and then they're like hey just get to the fucking episode and we kind of missed those and I can't delay the fucking Episode in order to give you this fucking rant, but I can do it at the end I have fun some of you have fun the ones that don't don't have to tune in the ones that do will tune in win win I'm out here living oh so anyway I had these slides is Michael Jordan slides that I got in Portland where I'll be in March with a John Appaloochee tickets on Sanliver.org for comm at the Nike outlet store I got
Starting point is 01:29:38 access to cheapest shit Nikes so I took him to I rarely wear slides I was like, let me take these to Southeast Asia. I'll need flip flops. And I never liked the ones with the fucking thing in the middle until I got Bert Kreischer's actually, because his leather, the plastic ones always cut. It's like here, they always cut. And then Bert's, but I got a similar pair of Bert's with the leather in Guatemala.
Starting point is 01:30:05 And then I got another one in Montauk. The leather one's the way to go. But I got those Burt Kreischer Free Waters. Burt, I am your number one fan. I've brought your shoe to Trinidad and Tobago. I've brought your shoe to Ecuador. I've brought your shoe to Hawaii. I've brought your shoe to Australia. I've brought your shoe to Australia.
Starting point is 01:30:26 I've brought your shoe to a ton of places. But one place I did not bring it was Phnom Penh, Cambodia, because I didn't have them yet. And I had these slides, these Jordan slides. And so I brought, wore them all through Myanmar. I flew to Thailand, wore them all through Thailand. Met a chick in Bali. We had sex and it was great, a bunch of times.
Starting point is 01:30:51 And found some private beaches. Oh, that chick ruled. She had a guy, she knew a guy who was like a local Jakarta person. And so like her friend was trying to like hook up with that guy so I just got freebies, bro. Hostel, hostel, hostel, nice fucking villa. It was great. What a great time and the sex was good.
Starting point is 01:31:09 Cambodia and then I went to I think I went from Thailand to Bali and then and then to Phnom Penh. I think I flew from from oh no I no, I went to, I went to Bali later. I went to Bali later, because I went from Bali all the way through the islands. This trip, I gotta do a full, this is not a happening story, R.G.V. story telling show story about my trip from, damn, from Bali to Lombok, all the way through there. God damn, that sucked.
Starting point is 01:31:46 And then I went from Flores and Nde, down to Kupang and then East Timor. Yeah, I took the land border, so I would not have gone back there. Yeah, so, okay, Thailand, then Cambodia, and from Cambodia I went to Vietnam, got sick of white people, went to South Vietnam, then took a boat up back to Phnom Penh.
Starting point is 01:32:10 One of those trips to Phnom Penh, I realized that my shoes smelled so bad and it could not be saved. I soaked them in a bucket of soap. I mean, it was just like, the worst cabs you ever smelled, imagine them ass fucking each other. And I was trying to wash them, wouldn't work,
Starting point is 01:32:32 and I was like, okay, whatever, I'm in a decent hotel. No, it was the one night stayover, because I was in a decent hotel. I never got to a decent hotel. I know what it was. It was after Vietnam, I took the boat back up, and I was like, it's fucked. I mean, it's fucked.
Starting point is 01:32:45 No wonder I couldn't get laid in Vietnam. I didn't get laid a lot, but I kind of fell in love in Vietnam one night, one day. But my shoe stunk so bad, so of course how is she gonna fuck me? Also I think she was like seven. So I'm in there and then I'm like, didn't work to wash them and then I try to soak them, didn't work,
Starting point is 01:33:04 and then I'm like, well I gotta find new flip flops. I gotta find new flip flops. And so I went around and they were like, oh, I'm like, I'm thinking I'm a 45, European sizes, and they go, so let's say that's 11 and a half, and they go, well we have a 10. And I'm like, well that won't do, and they go, it'll stretch, it'll stretch.
Starting point is 01:33:23 I'm like, no, not a size and a half. You can't stretch a size and a half. You can stretch a little bit. And that's also just shoes. Not flip flops, the base is what you want. The base is the thing, not even the things. Anyway, I found a Quicksilver store, which I later found to be Knockoff store.
Starting point is 01:33:44 Bought some flip fl flops finally found my size because no one had my size in any of the markets and it was like an all-day process found them realized it was a knockoff when I got to Komodo Island in Indonesia that guy who's trying to hook up with a friend of the chick I fucked he was like you going to see Komodo dragons I was like where's that he goes near here and I was like I you going to see Komodo Dragons? I was like, where's that? He goes, near here. And I was like, I've always wanted to. Where is it? He goes, near, a couple islands over. So I went.
Starting point is 01:34:09 The bottom flap of my flip-flop started coming off and I was about to chuck him. Right in Komodo Island. And then I'm like, oh no, it took me a fucking full day to find my size. I can't fix him. I gotta fix him. I can't chuck him.
Starting point is 01:34:24 I'll never find him again So I found super glue and I taped him I glued him did it a few times They served me for the rest of the trip took him to East Timor took him everywhere. What a good memory Dustin buddy. Thanks for fucking reminding me of that living in a life on the cheap Heading to Chiang Mai, then Pai tonight. Dude, enjoy the boomers in Pai. Via overnight bus and train. Wow, you're going from Phnom Penh. Overnight bus and train.
Starting point is 01:35:00 Wow, because Chiang Mai is way up there. And Pai, I I think is further, further west than that. What a way to get there. God damn, that's exciting. The overnight buses in Southeast Asia are crazy. I had some gay mishaps on those. Going to be good to hit the road again. Enjoy your future travels. Dustin Taylor, Dustin buddy.
Starting point is 01:35:29 This is going up on the wall, the Patreon wall. I got a Machu Picchu one and I got a Cambodia one. God, that's exciting. Um, all right. Uh, should I show you the wall? Now you'll see if you're on the Patreon. Next week, Bobby Kelly is on the podcast talking about Cuba with me. Me and Bobby Kelly. It's a joint episode. I have another one of these coming about Guatemala with somebody I was there with. We did that in
Starting point is 01:35:51 Gold Coast, Australia. But that's not coming up for a while. Today's episode is produced by Your Mom's House Network. It's edited by Alan Caffey. Well done I think. Don't forget guys guys, Radio Free Afghanistan, Saad Mossehni's book, get it right now. If you're a reader at all. It's available everywhere. I assume it's available on audiobook too, but possibly. And Saad, first of all, send me some Afghani money
Starting point is 01:36:18 for my wall, please, anything. Doesn't have to be major. In fact, it should not be major. If you guys are in a faraway place, of a place we've been please send it as well. Here's what I got so far. You figure out who I need. This is China during the fucking lockdowns. They put out special money. They put out special money with everybody in fucking hazmat suits. Kenya did Monroe Martin., best trip, I would say. Thailand, okay, as we were headed.
Starting point is 01:36:47 Egypt, think of Scotland, Romania, Hungary. Where is, is that Mongolia? What the fuck is that? Japan, Mexico, Canada. Don't remember, some of these Soviet ones, they really don't try. I don't remember. Some of these Soviet ones, I really don't try. I don't remember where that one is.
Starting point is 01:37:06 Costa Rica, have we been there yet? And Desert Kuna, what is that? What about that? Desets Kuna. I don't know, and the US. What do I got? I got more. I got more to put up, but I haven't put up.
Starting point is 01:37:21 Next week I'll put up my Cuba one. All right everybody, until next week from Bobby Kelly, have a good day. Wait, where did we go? Oh, Asalaamu Alaikum. I'm guessing.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.