You Be Trippin' - Africa w/ Harland Williams | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: October 6, 2025

Follow Harland on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/harlandwilliams/ SPONSORS: -Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @‌MUDWTR with code TRIPPIN at https://mudwtr.com/TRIPPIN ! #mudwtrpod -One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% Off @‌Ridge with code  ARI at https://ridge.com/ARI #Ridgepod On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Harland is back to take Ari on his African adventure. Harland starts his trip in Egypt, where he and his cousin have an eerie experience inside the pyramids. They then go further south into the jungle of Africa. Harland tells the story of getting charged by a silverback gorilla. After that near-death experience, he goes on a safari adventure, where he has yet another scare with a lion that gets too close for comfort. All the while, Harland shares his adventures with The Tender Frienders. Ma'a salama! You Be Trippin' Ep. 87 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:21 - The Tender Frienders 00:09:09 - Harland Goes to the Pyramids 00:36:09 - Next Stop, The Jungle 00:56:16 - To the Safari 01:14:43 - A Poem to Apes & Dumb Humans 01:25:12 - Go Out & See the World 01:30:19 - An Interview with The TRIPPIN Tender Frienders Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, you want to do this? Yeah, man. Okay, here's a microphone. I'll show you how to use it. Yeah, nailed it. Yeah, right like this. Take it out if you want, but it's up to you. Oh, this is great.

Love it. Up and downs. Oh, yeah, cool. These are nice. I should get these. Rogans. These are the one Rogans uses. Oh, my, yeah, I like the up and down.

Yeah. You can slump. Feel dejected. Wow. Yeah. Actually, I got another point. Oh, no, that's not even what. Where you've been and where you're going.

This is our rest. travel show yeah we're going to talk about travel today it's you be tripping yeah welcome me you be tripping everybody it's the only travel podcasts in the world that features uh toronto's prodigal son harlan williams yeah a lot of podcasts say they respect toronto but only this one does thank you welcome harlan Thank you. Welcome back. Yeah, Carter, welcome. Thank you.

I love it. Last time was so fucking good. Oh, thank you, man. I had a blast. I was surprised as shit. You were? Yeah, I was like, I mean, you looked down, I took down this other map,

but like, you were just looking at the map, but you've been anywhere, and you're like, yeah, been everywhere. And I was like, what do you mean? Yeah. Yeah, caught you off guard with that one. Yeah. Kids been around.

Yeah. Oh, I should do this before we start. Oh. I got to a little award for a fucking trip. You were the trippy for best guest, best trip, and most surprising. Yeah, you went three. Oh my God, wow. Opening year Trippy Awards.

This is for real? Yeah. I saw the one of, I saw your kill Tony gets to the year. I had already made the announcements, but then it reminded me like, oh, you won the best guest and best trip. Wow, I'm like so flattered and honored. Thank you. That's stunning. Globe.

Yeah. Thank you, Ari. You're welcome. Oh. Yeah, they'll never let you take out on the plane, I just realized. They won't? Maybe. Yeah.

Well, they wouldn't let me take the Kill Tony one because it was actually a gun. But I think they'll let me take a sex toy. We'll be all right. That's going to make a nice pop on the way out. That's beautiful. Can I put it right there? Yeah, sure. Absolutely.

Wow, thank you. Yeah, it was such a fucking sick trip. Yeah. So many people looked up the National Geographic stuff after that to see what they still got. Oh, did they? Yeah, there's stuff that they have similar, but nothing like that. Yeah, and way, way more expensive. I think that trip I did was, I think they were testing it.

I think it was the first time they did it. And I just, they sent it to my place and I was like, let's go. So I think I lucked out a little. It's amazing to that moment of like, wait, actually, hold on. Just like, minor, minor moments. It was the logo. I saw the National Geographic logo. That's what saved it.

Damn. because I was just like that that logo is still sort of it's one of the few logos left that represent sort of quality you know and that's what kind of made me go wait no no no yeah they never got douchey yeah interesting yeah sort of classy you know yeah right where do we don't go today what do you want to do well I got a little bit of a potpourri again but I can focus on I can focus on one I was going to focus on Africa Okay. But I also... Down under. Yeah, and keeping with my traveling all over the place, I thought maybe this is a great place for you to meet the tender frienders.

What is... I'm willing to meet anyone. I don't know what that is. You'll meet the tender frienders? I'd love to. Okay, I'm going to bring them out. I mean, I'm hoping there's a new McDonald's. oh boy here's one

yeah sit him down lead him up against your trippy that's one why the other tender friender he's got a mustache yeah gay one well that's what everyone thinks

it's very pretty mercury yeah that's what everyone thinks gay in the straight yeah put them together they're both gay what is this so I travel a lot you know like We do stand-up and I travel, and I like to travel all over the world. I haven't lost a lot of weight recently.

Yeah. And so, you know, our days can be pretty boring. Yeah, facts. You know, sometimes we work at night, so we usually have our days wide open when we're stand-ups. And so what I did is I found these two dolls in a craft shop, and what I do is I take them with me wherever I go, and then during the day, I take them out into the world and film adventures with them. So I've taken them all over the place. And I make little movies, basically, with the, I call them two guys in their underpants.

But they're tender friends. I found them in a craft shop. In America? Yeah, and all the, I'm not even kidding. This is how they were dressed. They had black loafers and white underpants. Yeah, they really fall down. And they're exactly the same.

so I had to draw a mustache on one with a sharpie. Oh, it's not natural. They're actually identical. Hazel eyes. But I had to, and this guy talks like this, and your guy talks like this, very tender. And so they're friends. They're friends. They just travel together.

And so I've taken them all over the- You took them to Africa? They haven't been to Africa. They've been to Saudi Arabia. I mean, they've got to be more scared in Saudi Arabia than most places. yeah there was there was i was out in the street shooting with them yeah and i'm not kidding a humvee screeched to a halt i was outside of they were looking at a stop sign yeah and a humvee screeched to a halt and like three arab guys in the full regalia got out and they just went no gays they yelled at the dolls they just said

no gays and then they got in the car and sped away like they were furious and they're not even gay They're just, they're ambiguous. Well, shooting stuff is gay. Yeah. Maybe they make you. Maybe, I don't know. They are ambiguous. Yeah.

Like, they haven't done anything yet. No, and they're, they never talk about their sexuality. Smart. They're just, they're, they don't even give them names. They're very ambiguous. But people think they're gay, but they're not. And they've been all over the place. They fucked the, uh, St. Louis arch.

They gang banged it. Yeah. Both sides? Yeah. They were humping away on it. um i threw them over niagara falls um what do you mean well i haven't got them no i have doubles so there's there was an episode you lost one over niagara falls well i have doubles are these online yeah they're on my patreon okay and uh they were eating they got into a chinese buffet and they were

they loved a fart so they're doing so many farts that they blew off the railing and went right over the falls and they've been to Burning Man I bought a giant inflatable ice cream sandwich and they rode around Burning Man called like it was called Screamy Screamy Ice Creamy and they wrote around Burning Man on a giant ice cream sandwich that screamed

and they've been all over yeah All right, welcome, friend. Yeah, tender frienders. Yeah, they're just the latest trip They're in the Galapagos Islands. They're nice. Yeah.

They see a turtle? They ride a turtle. They didn't ride a turtle, but I found a whale skeleton. And the spine is about 30 feet long. Yeah. And it looks like a roller coaster. So I put them on the whale skeleton with their arms up and they were riding the spine of a dead whale like a roller coaster.

And they also went diving in Indonesia. I know that whale skeleton. I'm trying to picture which island's on. You were there? Yeah. Yeah. It's a spine. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm just like picturing it now. So they were there on that. And then I took them to Indonesia and they went diving and I stuck them in one of those giant clams. So one of them got his head stuck in a giant clam. You're going to dive and whoever was your partner. It's like, hey, you know all the safety regulations, right? Yeah.

I'm good, I'm just weird. Yeah, so anyways, they've had some good adventures. All right. I just thought I'd bring them because they're my travel buddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're travel buddies right. Funny and also sad existence. Yeah, yeah.

It could go either way if you're living in more. Yeah, but I haven't taken to Africa yet. Where'd you go and when'd you go? What was this? Tell me about this one. So I went to Africa. I went to Africa. This was probably about six years.

years ago i went to egypt i went to the angora gora crater what is that uh that's in africa angora crater yeah it's like his giant crater it's almost like a garden of eden it's like a giant i don't know if a meteorite hit it or it's called i don't know if i'm saying it right the ingora gora gora crater i don't know why i'm saying it twice even but yeah why you're saying it twice i think it's called they say it twice that could be it there yeah damn that's nowhere tanzania yeah i went there and i went to rwanda i went up into the where you stay uh i stayed at the hotel rwanda yeah it's back yeah it's probably got the best advertising of any yeah yeah and the best service um i mean they yeah they stuck with people during massacre still like yeah they're

If they can hide a massacre there, they're going to have good room service. What is this thing? But it's an ancient crater and it's all, it's surrounded on all sides. I don't know if it's a volcano, it's the top of a volcano or a meteorite hit it. Collapsed in? But it's, it's surrounded. And so it's almost like being in the Garden of Eden, all the animal species are in this, this round crater, all living in this ecosystem. And there's a big lake in the middle.

Damn, and that's where they all go feed and fucking eat each other. Wow. And then I went to Rwanda. I went up the... Hold on. When's you go? Why'd you go? Yeah, like...

Take us through some places here. It started in Israel. I went to Israel to do... Asia. What? Asia. Asia. I think Israel's in Asia, right?

No. Where does Asia start? Israel. Yeah, but where does Asia start? Asia. Yeah. India's Asia. right Pakistan's Asia no I said Israel I know but it's in Asia it is I don't know I think

it is Israel's not in Asia where is it Europe you're saying where are you saying Africa no I started in Israel I know but where do you think Israel is oh on land West Asia it is yeah no way yeah I didn't know Jewish people were Asian yeah we are now oh there's about to be a bunch of fucking grants passed out wow although the Asians were really got it covered already wow that's pretty wild yeah yeah it's right on the board this is where asia starts oh no way that's yeah i learned something new then i didn't know israelis were Asians yeah wow they squinted when they're doing their taxes and they call the line right there wow that's it it's up here i guess this is the line oh wow who knew glad you told me yeah so i was

and Israel doing stand-up comedy. We're going all over the whole country. With Avi Leberman? With Avi to help the street kids. Yeah. It's like a charity to help homeless kids. It's so funny when you go to these charity shows, we're really like, I'm just here for the free trip.

Yeah. I don't really give a fuck about whatever the charity is. Well, in the back of your head, you feel good because you're doing a good thing. But yeah, it's like I don't know that I do a charity for the homeless kids in Bakersfield. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But take me to Israel and that's a... They used to have that charity for the Bill Graham Foundation in San Francisco where like 50 cents off every ticket at Cobbs or a punchline like, we're like, where it's going to the Bill Graham Foundation. And then after a while you're like, nah, just give it to me. Yeah. I'll decide where it goes. Who the hell's Bill Graham?

Who the fuck is Bill? He ran like music in the city. I don't know. Guys, I'm breaking into today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest, Harlan Williams, the 2024 Trippy Award winner for Best Podcasts, most surprising guests, best trip and this was not a let down at all i don't want to ruin anything for you but it's dude the guy travels i i'll say this when i when i brought him into the studio last time the first time and he looked at the map that was covering the backdrop when it was the full the whole map you know

when it was like covering the wall he's just looking at the map which maps draw you in and i'm like where have you been and he goes oh everywhere i'm like what do you mean it goes everywhere and he had he rules he's going to be on this podcast so many times he's going to probably interview me at some point about one of my trips because like we just connect on that he's also I mean the greatest riffer in stand-up comedy he's getting his due now because kill Tony managed to like give him like the right like platform that he needs he's just so

quick I used to see him at the factory you see I saw him in Toronto once pretend he was British for an entire show I don't understand why. He kept laughing and you think he's breaking and going back to his act. And he just stayed British saying, it's so good to be here in America. He rules, he rules. And he's going on tour. And he wants you to know that he's got a massive show in Winnipeg, his home country on October 26th at the Burton Cumming Theater.

Guys, check him out there. Burton Cummings Theater. It's a big show for him. And you should get tickets. It's a guaranteed, guaranteed good time. time. He's also got his own podcast called the Harlan Highway. Harlan Highway podcast. I've been on there. I had a fun time. You can see when he finally runs laps around me right at the end where my brain just shut off and his keeps going right at the end when he asked me something and I was like,

it's done. It's done. I didn't say it fully, but he goes, you can't think of any example of something. I was like, nope. I was just done riffing and he just keeps going. Definitely go see him in Winnipeg at the Burton Company, October 26th. He's also going to be performing Waukegan, Illinois, San Antonio, Tempe, Tampa, Houston, Dallas, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Chicago. And he's on the Killers of Kill Tony tour, Las Vegas, Long Beach, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Charleston, Knoxville, Nashville, Nashville, Atlanta, Columbia, Charlotte, Norfolk, Richmond. Get all tickets at, well, Harlan Williams.com. It's got to be that. It's got to be Harlan Williams.com. Let's do this.

Harlan Williams.com. That way, if I'm wrong, we can put in something else over it. Yeah, he rules, you guys. For myself, please subscribe. wherever you're watching or listening on the YouTube page and get your merch get this Ubi Chippin shirt that you can wear around your hostels, get your UBichipping stickers

that you can put up anywhere. Look I'm doing. Whatever you get a fucking sticker at a hostel, wherever. Stick it on your thing. Stick a Ubi Chippin' sticker on there too. Do I not have one on there? I should. That's it. Let's get back to the episode. I think I've covered everything. And follow us on Instagram, UB.S.

You be tripping pot. Also, if you see one of these stickers out in the wild, take a picture of it, tag UB. be tripping pot on Instagram, and if it's one of the ones that I sent up, two free tickets to a show in 2027. You have to be the first one to post about it. Other than that, that's it. Let's get back to the episode. I'm going to tell you at the outro what we did in Shroom Fest.

Oh, God. So you went there and then stayed? You told Avi to fuck off. I'm going to help of myself. No, we did the tour, and then from there I went over to Egypt. Yeah. To the pyramids, the great pyramids. Did you go on them during that other trip? National Geographic trip? No, we were supposed to,

but that was when there was some of the... Terrorism, the Iraq, stuff in Iran and Iraq was going off. So they canceled Egypt and Turkey on us. Right. So I went then and went to the pyramids. Do you have any pictures of this, by the way? Yeah. You do?

Oh, yeah. Where do you got your pictures on this one? I rode on a camel, went right into the middle pyramid. Hold on. Yeah. Start with a camel. Do you write on the hump or in between the humps? I think I was...

Is it a single humper? I think I was on the hump, yeah. I think I wrote on the hump, yeah. Because I think those big double humped ones are in like Russia or something. Oh, interesting. Okay. But these ones, the one humps... These don't have any humps. Yeah.

Okay. So who'd you go with? Just yourself? My cousin. Nice. Yeah. So we went in there. Wait, where are the pictures you have? have of this one home they're at home yeah okay okay i'll send you some okay damn that's cool how cool with

the fucking pyramids well what was cool is it's a major tourist attraction and when we got there you realized you you can go inside of them and so we went to the biggest one in the middle the huge one yeah and we said to the guy can we go in he goes yeah go in and there's a little tunnel about four feet high and you have to crouch and walk through the tunnel to get to the middle of the pyramid. Yeah. So me and my cousin went in the middle of the day and we thought, oh, there's going to be like 500 people

inside the pyramid. And we go in, whoa, mystic. I'm waiting for this new backdrop. Whoa. And we go in the pyramid and there was nobody. We just somehow found this moment in time where it was completely empty and we went in and we were sitting in the pyramid alone

for about 20 minutes just us and the ancient voices and the ancient air was there like a bed in there there's a sarcophagus in the middle and then you it's just sort of a big empty tomb and there was just no one and we just think okay someone's going to come any second and we're in there like a full 20 minutes no one came and then we left and it was just sort of is that the one it kind of goes up an incline as you go up into it or is it just like no it's almost like sort of straight through a thing and then just like sitting there right sitting there with the ancient like air and just the smell in there and did you feel anything yeah you felt you felt like you know you're just sort of you just felt like you're in this very mystical place there's a weird energy there

at least that's what i felt and uh it was it was really just a special moment they said those were all like hotspots for magic yeah that's what they said it's like they were buried here because this right here is a hot spot so you want to be buried in the hot spot yeah and all the they say you know all the energy and all the energy that's lined up with Orion's belt and the cosmos and so it was it was strategically placed yeah and now they've discovered all that stuff underneath apparently oh goes down well yeah they just recently did some kind of sonogram under the earth where they say they've discovered these giant like columns underneath the people this whole infrastructure of like 36 columns that go down like 800 feet and there's a whole

there's chambers and everything else down there so apparently yeah that's what they're saying I can't verify but that's what scientists have revealed just recently dude Egypt was like the maybe the craziest place I've ever been to it just felt different than anywhere else yeah like similar to Jerusalem but then like multiply it by like five or six or ten and the streets in cairo like the main down to there's no street lights like really i never got to car oh man the cars just all converge and it's like imagine time square with no streetlights or police and every day they just everyone just waits to jostle to get home like thousands and thousands of vehicles it's wild damn yeah

Where did you stay in Giza? Nice hotel, the right by it, or what? Yeah, we stayed in Cairo, actually. And then went down to Giza? Yeah, we stayed in Cairo, and then you could see the pyramids in the distance from your balcony. In Cairo? Yeah, it was... Wow.

You know, there was sort of faint, but you could see them way in the distance, which sort of built up the mystique, because you're like, oh, there they are, you know, sort of hazy. And then you drive up to them and you get there, and it's like pretty, pretty missing. Yeah, I mean, it goes back so far. You can touch them and, like, get on them. And now because of all this stuff they're finding underneath, they're starting to reconsider just how old they are. I think they're saying they think they're 6,000 years old or whatever, but now there's some people that are readjusting that to be 9,000 or 12,000.

You know, it's sort of... Columns down. I mean, that sounds like it was like put there. Yeah. Oh, that's what they're saying. And what they're saying is... To keep it steady. These columns were turbines so that they've got their coils.

And then they said that the pyramids originally had like a white limestone on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that these coils and that the river, the, oh, God, what's the name of the river? The Thames? No, not the Tame. The Nile. Nile. Niles over here.

They said the Nile was much closer to the pyramids. so what they're saying is the water ran down the coils and the pyramids generated electricity is what they're saying it was an early form of and the river moved over at some point the river must have gone hit the yeah something happened in it and it went over

it went down it powered the columns and then they even suggested that there were light shining out of the top of it and that it actually created electricity and the people Like the Luxor? Sort of a casino? Sort of like the luxor, yeah. Like it's just like all these new theories about the pyramids.

What? They just seem to continue to amaze and mystify us, which is pretty cool. Yeah, look at these pyramids. That means maybe the river went like this way. Yeah, it went a lot closer apparently. And so hydroelectric power is fueled by, you know, fast flowing water. So if these columns were absorbing that water And what they're saying is it possibly they're saying one theory is it

They conduct it conducted electricity Yeah, didn't they say the pyramids used to look like just straight and like shiny almost? Yeah, that's what they're saying There was like a white limestone like a crushed white limestone So they were actually white They weren't the grayish rock that they, as you see in these pictures Yeah But who's to know, you know?

like what this is on top well that's that's the final that's the last pyramid with the the finish on it but even on top of that finish would have been a white like crushed sand limestone coating almost like a white beach

I mean who fucking did this yeah it's pretty amazing and what's interesting to me is that no one ever thought to look beneath the pyramids until now they had to do it with this I think it's called ultrasonic sound where they, it, it sends sound waves and then bounces back the imagery, almost like sonar.

Is that I found all the, like, Ankerwat temples and stuff? I guess so. Or is that Lidar? I don't know, but at least with this, they're saying there's this whole infrastructure and more, now they believe it wasn't actually a, a temple for the dead. They think it had a much more significant purpose, all the pyramids. That's what they're speculating. So I don't know if they're going to go down and start digging down there

or if somebody's already gone down. Imagine being 13 bucks. That's so little to go in, Pyramids of Egypt officially. Imagine being like an Egyptologist. You know, it's like that's your like, and then they go, oh, hey, we found a whole new thing. Yeah. I know whatever you learned from your professor, nothing changed. And whatever he learned from his professor, nothing changed.

Now it's a massive change. well it's incredible because the the pyramids themselves are a mystery to this day they debate how they were built how it was possible and now this this infrastructure beneath is apparently almost a quarter of a mile down so add to that yeah like how did they get down and does that mean at one point did they tunnel down or was the sand low and they built it on And then it wrote, like, wind came and, wow. Like, that's, it's. And they said the sphinx is like a different era, a different group of people made that. Wow. Yeah, they might have, they might have recognized the power of the pyramids and made it as a tribute or a symbol or who knows. Yeah. And then the nose, they took the nose off so that no one would know who really built it.

Is that right? I think so. I think that was the clue on who built it. Maybe just had allergies. It could be. Yeah. What a fucking shot that is. Yeah.

Wow. so you've been there huh yeah i went once yeah i went once just but just there and then i took the boat down to like to luxor from there oh wow i didn't get into cairo i went from is like it's like a zoo it's just crazy yeah even downtown geese seemed overcrowded but then like caro's like oh is it just like is it like india is like the it's weird it's a mix of really modern and nice hotels and stuff but then you get out into the street and it's just like a free for all like imagine like a big huge city I don't know what the population of Cairo is but probably a bunch like right downtown like what would be considered the epicenter 10 million damn yeah it's just it's just mad like chaos the traffic is

just like a free for all and the cars just they literally just converge at this big main intersection and just jostle for position until they get home. It was wild. When we were on the highway going somewhere in a cab, maybe to the airport or to the train or back, I don't know. But there was like a crater in the highway from, I don't know, maybe a bomb, maybe not. I don't know. So he had to just drive into oncoming traffic for a while on the way and then back.

All the while saying, take your fucking seatbelt off. We're not gay here. Yeah. Well, that's what I love about America, you know. They'll give you a ticket for like drifting over a line or not having your signal on. or going five miles an hour over in a school zone. And in the rest of the world, it's almost just like bumper cars. It's just like free for all.

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Please support my show and tell him you'd be tripp and sent you. Now let's get back to the episode. Dude, I was driving with Louis once. Me Enlist, we're driving with Louis to somewhere. And he's a maniac behind the wheel, like a fucking maniac. Louis C.K. Yeah. And then he's trying to, you know, you have to jostle in and he just hits somebody.

And then like, and then the guy's like, hey, and he goes, we're good, we're good. And the guy's like, all right. right i think a lot of people do that because it's too much of a hassle yeah it was light it's almost like it's a little dinger you know what i'll pay my mechanic 600 bucks don't want to deal with insurance don't want to deal with you yeah like i got to get to a function like just see ya i remember when i first moved to hollywood this is bad but i when my very first year there i was broke yeah and i literally bought a junker right outside my condo door. My Russian neighbor was selling an old beat-up car for $900. Oh, nice. It was the first car I saw. I said, I'll take it. I just need to get around.

Couldn't afford insurance. I remember, I was, you know, about five months in, I was driving, and I came up behind a guy at a light, and I dinged them. Like, it was just like a little, like, thing like about that hard but you definitely saw it was definitely a hit and I was like I got no insurance I'm I'm here on my last dollar from Canada and I didn't want to be a dick

but I knew no one was hurt because it was just but it was big and he's getting out of his car and he's as he's getting out of his car my window was open because I was L.A. And it's go how are you doing you all right? Everything okay? And I just started driving backwards and he's like

he's like you all right everything good I just turned around and he's just like, what the hell? I mean, well, I'm caring, but I'm leaving, you know? That's great. It was just at the beginning of when drive-by started. Oh, yeah. And my car was so crappy, but everyone was scared. It was like the beginning of drive-by shooting.

It was a big time in L.A. It was before I got there. Drive-bys. No, what's the other one? It was on the highway. It was drive-bys, but there was another one where they take your car. They jump in your carjacking. It was carjacking.

They jump in and say get out and look if you have a kid. They're like, no, no, no, give my kid. Give my kid first. This was the first time it happened. So I bought the biggest Sharpie with the biggest, you know, some of the sharpies of the big, thick industrial head. It looks like a, almost like a Hershey's piece of chocolate. And I literally just wrote, because this car was a junker, but I was scared. You know, it came from Canada.

We're not used to guns. And I wrote, Dear Hijacker, the guy behind me has a. much nicer car. I literally rode it on the side of my car. People would drive by me honking. I saw a guy at the golf course driving a beater, and he pulled up and just smashed into a Mercedes, just hard. And I'm talking to my friend.

We put our bags away. We're just looking. He looks at me, and he's like, because that moment of like, I can get away, fuck those witnesses. Yeah. And I just go. Oh, wow. And he just drove off.

It's like, that guy can afford it. I can see you can't. Yeah, yeah. It sucks. It does suck, but still. Yeah. Gotta survive. Yeah.

All right, so Egypt, do you get any trouble in there? No, we're only there for like two days, I think, two night. Okay. So we got out of there pretty quick. And then we went down to, down into Africa and got right into it into safari time. Where? Where'd you go? We went down to the, uh,

And how did you get there? We flew. We flew down. And we flew. I think our first stop was Rwanda. What is this? And we went to, it's right next to the Congo. Okay.

Did you really stay at Hotel Rwanda? Nope, that ain't it. Yeah, we did for a night, I believe. Yeah, when we first got there. And then from there, we went out to a lodge in the jungle. um out near the uh out near the volcano we went on a safari trek to see the um elusive mountain gorillas did you see them oh yeah yeah what do you mean like the jane goodall ones yeah the jane goodall mountain gorillas yeah yeah what were you in what do you mean well you stay at a lodge and then you

you do a trek you have guides with machine guns yeah and they take you up the side of the volcano and they they they they they're professional trackers and they track down uh hopefully and find a a pack of like a silverback the silverbacks yeah fucking way yeah wait and you're in a car you're no we're driving I mean we're walking we're hiking the guys are literally our guides are hacking the jungle with machets like right of a tarzan movie and they're carving trails up there's not even pass there's some past but then the gorillas don't know that so they're moving all over the volcano so there's paths until there is no pass and then they're just chopping through the jungle trying to track them down and uh we got way up there and we found some and uh it was quite dramatic what happened next what do you well we we found what do you call it a tribe we found is it a tribe or a pack of gorillas we don't want to get in

trouble you got to be careful everything's sort of labeled these days is it a school school of a pot a murder a bunch of hairy idiots a mime of gorillas i was going to say mind a mind a mind maybe a i don't know pick your ass of gorillas i don't know what maybe check your dingle not there. See what a, maybe a tribe or a pack? You see it? What is a group of gorillas called?

Band or a troupe. Oh, wow. A troop. I like that. Yeah. Our troops consist of about five to ten guerrillas. So you saw them? So yeah,

we come up on a troop and it's like, they're all sitting on this, they're all sitting in this area. And it's like, juvenile males, mothers, and babies. There was probably about, it was a pretty big troop. I think there's about 10 or 15 of them. Okay.

And they're all there. We start taking pictures and there's no, there's always one dominant male who runs who runs it. Yeah, he's the, he's the leader. And I'm telling you, Ari, this was like classic King Kong. So we're with these guards. They've got machine guns because of the political volatility of the Congo. What do you mean?

Well, the Congo's, there's a lot of political unrest, violent political unrest in the Congo, and then Rwanda had its own violent political history. So just in case like humans come by? Yeah, yeah. They're not allowed to shoot. They're not there for the guerrillas. They're there to protect us from warring tribes or, you know, human guerrillas, like the guys that would do guerrilla warfare, you know?

Damn. So you've got five or six guys. you got you got you know four guys five guys chopping with machetes and then you got you're flanked on each side by guys with like loaded machine guns soldiers so it's pretty intense so yeah we're hiking up the mountain and also in these mountains you know there's there's elephants there's cape buffalo so you could run into these normally used to seeing them on the planes did they give you like escape plans if you come across the wrong animal is just like stick with us they just said said follower direction so you're kind of they do this every day for a living so

i'd be like can i get a gun yeah well you yeah they're not allowed to shoot the uh guerrillas they basically say to you if something happens it's you we will not shoot the gorillas like this is their mindset it's pretty i actually like it but yeah me too because like don't go there yeah so we come we come across this um this band of like probably i'd say about 12 to 15 of them was a big band and and we're there for about 10 minutes and we're watching them we're taking pictures and and you could see the guys they're like where's where's the silverback where's the big daddy and they they um they have all these because there's not that many they're an endangered species but they have all these gorillas they know them

all they know their size which one's the biggest blah blah blah so it turns out the pack we were with. The male is almost 500 pounds, and he's the biggest recorded male in all of Rwandan of all the Mount Gorillas. What they call him, Bert? They should. So anyways, he's not there. And so we're sitting in this little sort of gully with them, and everything's sort of serene. And then there's this big berm up above us, and it's covered with bamboo, and jungle bushes and right out of king kong remember king kong when when fay ray's hanging in the trees and the guys are beating the drums and they're waiting for kong to come through the trees so in the distance we hear like like this primal call and we're all just like and the guys are

like he's coming he's coming and we're like wait who's coming and then you hear it getting close It's like, it's screeching. And it's a little unnerving, right? So this berm's probably about, I don't know, I'd say about 25 feet high up above us. And I'm not kidding, it couldn't have been scripted any better. All of a sudden you see a little ways in, maybe 60, 70 feet. You start to see the bamboo shaking.

So the whole, it's rattling. And then the shriek, like the screaming's getting louder. And then it's coming closer and closer. And I don't know if this gorilla thought he was a Hollywood actor, but it couldn't have been more cinematic. He literally all of a sudden grabbed the bamboo and pulled it open and just presented himself. Like he was up on the rim.

We're just all looking at this 500 pounds. And he's just like, and he's like letting it rip. He didn't do this, but he was like holding the bamboo. And we're just all staring at him. and he looks at us all and he jumps down. He literally jumps right off the thing lands on the ground

looks up and guess who's the closest guy to him? Me. And I'm the only guy wearing I don't know if this said anything to do with it but I'm wearing a red baseball hat. He stops

he looks at us and then everyone's just like what's going to happen and the last thing I heard was he's charging. One of the guides yells, he's charging. This gorilla comes right at me.

Like right at, there's nothing between me and him, came about this close and went like that. And I was just like, I really, I think in the first time of my life felt my heart skip a beat, he just charged at me

and it was like terrifying but thrilling. He went right at you? Right at me. did he stop and veer he veered he just came right just full barrel like the arms and then just like didn't didn't slow down but just and i was just like oh like it was it was exhilarating but like if he wanted to go through me i probably would have flown at least 70 feet i'm sure like what 500 pounds of raw muscle and then the guy the guide the guy says this is what we call a mock charge they do that to establish dominance they'll do a mock

charge but i didn't know and even as a mock charge it was you know it doesn't i know nature sometimes a mock charge in my mind could just as easily turn into a regular charge i mean if you did if you just move too fast if you if you run what like what well the only thing they said is don't make eye contact with them because it's considered a threat. They hate that shit. Yeah. So I just, I didn't have time to not, like, I was just looking right at the, because it was just coming

right at me. And it was, it was pretty terrifying, but it was like, Jesus Christ. It was an amazing experience. See, but he would have killed you. If you wanted to, yeah, they could just pick you up and especially that guy, 500 pounds.

They could just twirl you around and but. You were probably the first guy he ever met from Toronto. Probably. I mean, you smell like the pyramids. Get out of my jungle. Damn.

It was, were you with your cousin? Yeah. And he was like, he was further back so he didn't, like I was in front of everything. And it was like I was, it was just a fluke.

I wasn't planning it. But just from where he came down and jumped down, I was the closest thing to him. And he came right at me. Jesus. Yeah. And let's put it this way, the distance that he came, I'd say it was about, I'd say about 50 feet. So it wasn't like a short little charge. He like, he like lumbered across the jungle floor. What the fuck, man.

I had time to go, this thing's about to, you know, I'm about to be hit by a train. There's also nothing you can do. It's not like you're like, I got to get to. And in the back of my head, I'm going, and by the way, we don't touch the guerrillas. You know, we got the guns. Like, if he hit, if they want to hit you, they're going to hate you. So I'm realizing in my head, I'm like, I'm at the mercy of a 500-pound silver-backed gorilla in the wild. And it was quite the moment. God damn.

I'm in the jungle, about six feet away from a wild African gorilla. Is this a female? This is one of the females. And I think she likes me. It's love. That's good if I don't. It's good. It's got a button.

You pick. That's a good fortune. That's a good fortune. I don't know. I'm going to stay. I'm going to be. It's good. the gorilla the gorilla's actually moving the gorilla is actually moving towards me you can see his arm swishing in the photograph and he just charged right at me and probably came to it then about

12 inches of me, six inches, and at the last second turned and ran the other way. I don't know if it was my body odor or what, but I don't think I've ever felt my heart skipped a beat my whole life. My heart skipped a beat. I was being charged by a 500-pound silverback in the middle of the African jungle. Yeah. God damn. It was wild, man. That was Rwanda or Congo, or just like somewhere between? That was Rwanda and the volcano. I think the volcano is actually shared with Congo. I think half of it goes up into.

Oh, DRC is Congo. Yeah. And so I think it's actually split right on the border where the half, and that's why they have the guns too because the proximity is so close. It might be even a shared volcano or. Wow. Yeah, some of the Congo people, they still poached them. still some of them they call it bushmeat when they kill a monkey or a gorilla that there's so much

poverty there that people will actually try to harvest them for food and whatnot so and sell the parts and yeah damn yeah it was pretty intense where did you stay generally when you were there there was like a really cool jungle lodge yeah and there was like an old i remember me and my cousin stayed up and had a few drinks and there was a there was a guy staying at the lodge it was like like almost like crocodile dundee he was like an old safari hunter and he changed his ways but most of his life he'd been out shooting lions and buffalo and i think he was from south africa and he had this real kind of that south african wonky accent and he's like oh i was down our mates and i had a lion coming right at me and i put it right between the eyes and me gun jacked up

and all he came right like he had all these stories and we and my cousin were just sitting there like all night like laughing our heads off and you knew it was all real he was such a carry he had the little safari hat on and the shorts and like he had a whole life of of stories being out in in the bush in africa but he was just like i'm done with that now yeah now he had i think somewhere along the way he realized killing the animals was was wasn't good and he He had now become more of like a guide with a camera where he shoots with a camera. Yeah, it was pretty intense. Damn.

Yeah. What else do when you're there? Did you take any like safari stuff besides that? But I mean, going into the bush with no, I want an armored truck. Yeah. I'd want at least one of those metal open trucks where they're like, they don't see you as food here. Yeah. Well, that was the other part of my safari because with the, with the, what's interesting about the guerrillas.

too is the encroachment of humans at the base of the volcano, it's farmland, believe it or not. And they've put up these big black volcanic rocks as a fence to mark the farmland ending and the jungle beginning going ascending the volcano. And so it's almost like even though these Mount Gorillas are free, you almost get the sense that they're in captivity because humans have sort of, you know, decided what the parameters are of their freedom. And so it was a bit sad on that point. But, you know, they had a lot of land, like a lot of,

and they only survive up on those hills anyway. So, but it was interesting to see they built those stories. Again, it reminded me a King Kong that these walls have been built to keep the great ape out you know you hear a howler monkey they're not even that big but you hear one of the distance yeah and you're like I can see how the myth of king Kong would have started yeah you hear that and you're like that thing must be yeah yeah howler monkeys just they just sound like they're just like growling and then seeing maybe that and seeing one of those silverbacks like from a distance you're like what yeah fuck how big is that thing they're bigger than life that's

for sure was it tall than you or the same size as you oh it was 500 pounds of raw muscle it's was triple the size of me. I mean, but I mean height. Well, they always for the most part hunched down, but when he ran at me, he was sort of half up on his feet

and his arms flailing, you know? So yeah, if it stood up, it would be taller than me. Yeah. Yeah, but just girth-wise and it's just, they're monstrous. God damn. Yeah, it was classic.

And then from there, we went down to the Angora-Gurra crater Wait, let me ask you a question. How much time do you take off for this? But you don't really have a job. So what do you give yourself? Yeah, I think I was there for 11 days or something. After Israel.

Yeah, I did Israel, and then I did Egypt, and then we went to, I think, three different spots. We went to the Gorgangor, Crater. Okay. And then I think we went to two other lodges, and I can't remember which countries, because it all sort of blends together there, and you're taking little bushplanes,

and you kind of, You know, it just feels like Africa. You don't sort of define the country so much, but. Yeah, it's weird. It's the only, there's an article about, like, how to write Africa. Yeah. It was tongue in cheek, like a facetious article by some professor. Yeah.

And he was like, here's how pretty much everyone writes about Africa. He goes, it's one country. It's not a whole continent. Don't try to discern them because no one bothers doing that. Yeah. The elephant is magical. There's always a fat mama who's going to feed you. She's also mystical.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's sort of all. the same if you're if you're if you're not up in the mountains it's sort of the same sort of in a lot of ways the terrain and the the animals and so it's sort of as a tourist it sort of blends together a bit so i can't remember what all the countries are i can get that information for you did you go to what's the mountain in tanzania or is it in kenya no there's a giant mountain in tanzania mount

Kilimanjaro. I think that's Kenya. Sure is. Yeah. I did not go there, no. But I have been in Kenya. Boom. That might have been where I was in Kenya, but I didn't go near Kilimanjaro.

Tanzania. Where's Kenya? Oh, right there. Just below it. I get it. So, okay, so you went from Rwanda, then what? To the silverbacks? So then we went down into the other safari where it was in the plains.

and we're in a small plane and we had to come in on a dirt Oh, the planes that way. And there's so much wildlife that the pilot actually had to buzz the wildlife to clear them off the runway. So he had to make two runs where he literally scared

herds of zebra off the dirt runway so we can land. Like that's how prolific the nature is. And so we landed there and we were in one of those tent lodges, which was beautiful. And then I would recommend this to anyone who goes to Africa. There's a lot of lodges where they just follow the same trail

and the lodges aren't allowed to go off the trail through the park. So they have to drive their land rovers on assigned dirt roads. And so what happens is you'll have 20 lodges in a specific area. And now let's see, you've got 10 land rovers at each lodge. so now you're getting out every day and there's a convoy of land rovers on safari all sharing the same road

and when one guy sees something he radios the other and then they all come in and now you've got a lion or an elephant and everyone surrounds it click click click and it's you can't take a picture without having another tourist in your shot and it's noisy and it's invasive

and their radios are going and the engines are gone so me and my cousin, we went to, and I would recommend this to anyone going on so far, we went to a remote lodge where you could hire your own Land Rover and it was a lodge where you're allowed to go off road. So these guys could just go, hey, there's a cheat away over there. Let's drive across the grasslands and see it. And it made such a, it'd be the difference between going to Disneyland and having a VIP pass and getting on the rides immediately or waiting in line four hours to go on a two-minute ride.

Wow. So my recommendation, if you're going to Africa and it might be your only time in your life and it's a little more expensive, do pay the extra money to get to a lodge where you can go off row. How do you know how to find that? I don't know that we did know. We just, when we got to that lodge, the one in the Angora Gora Crater was sort of the first one.

Yeah. Where you sort of had to stay on the trails. And then we got to this other one. And it was sort of our guide and our truck that said, hey, we can go wherever you want. This is one of those lodges. And we were like, oh, wow, this is way better. So. It isn't Gore, Gore.

You're right. It's twice, right? Yeah. Yeah. Here I thought I had a bad stutter. So they were like, hey, you're just on a cooler lodge. We can do whatever the fuck we want. Yeah.

And it was just. like it was so amazing because now you're alone you're with your driver you're going you don't see anyone else it's just you in the nature and anything can happen and that part i'd like that's what i would almost like the in between where you're like oh look at the trees and look at the like the endless nothing of the sahara or whatever yeah and on safari have you been on safari in africa i have not it's one of the most magical experiences i think you could ever do in life because it's it's so raw and it's so it's like there's so much natural energy out there

and there's so many creatures just vying for life I think I mentioned this on the last podcast where any critter takes a right or a left it could be the difference between living and dying and when you're out there you feel it and you also feel like as a human being it's the only place in time where I've ever been where I felt like man I'm

part of the food chain I'm part of this pecking order it was very powerful damn if they got to yeah you just be like all right they'd eat you for a while then the buzzes were coming yeah I mean there's creatures there that are that are dominant enough that they'll just take you down and and you sort of you know even when you're in in Canada and there's grizzly bears like the odds of running into a bear are really low but in Africa there could be a lion hiding 20 feet away just sitting in the grass watching you and they're so well camouflaged you wouldn't know it and so it's a real it's almost like going through a minefield and damn and it's really exciting and invigorating and it feels dangerous and electric are they like are the lions like barely any of them or is it's

like no there's a lot of them because they're they're protected and there's so much land and yeah but i mean like do you just see animals everywhere or is like we got to drive and see if we find one No, you're seeing animals, especially the herd animals. There's hundreds, if not millions of zebra, wildebeest, gazelle. Oh, herds, wow. So there's these massive migrating herds that you're seeing, but hidden in amongst them are the predators. Yeah.

And so they never know what's coming. You never know what's coming. And they're so adept at camouflaging that they could be 10 feet away from you and you wouldn't see it. They're that good. And so we were one of the most thrilling moments is we were out at this lodge And our guy went off road and he came upon two male tigers, which don't traditionally do the hunting. It's usually the females.

But we came upon two young male lions who had killed a wildebeest like just minutes before we got there, probably like 20 minutes. And they were eating. They were laying down eating. eating this thing and I'm you know we're filming it I'll send you some beautiful pictures of blood all over their faces and they're really eating this thing right you can see them pulling the intestines out like it's pretty graphic but it's also it's as real as it gets yeah and this guy pulls up about I don't know probably about 40 feet away from them and he parks the land rover in front of a big stump and I'm sitting there watching these things and they're just

going at it and it's just me and my cousin and our driver and the land rover's open so i'm filming with my video camera he goes oh they're going to eat for a while and i said do you think we should be parked in front of that stump there's nowhere to get away we don't really have an exit because it's okay goes they're going to stay there and eat they just killed something so sure enough two minutes in but then let's just but why do it though there's no benefit to being in front of the stump let's just move real quick so sure enough two minutes it's in one of the male lion stands up and walks right towards us and stops about 20 feet away his golden eyes like literally just like fixated on us like like almost burning through us

and i got to tell you all right this was scarier than the gorilla because there's one of the few times in my life i felt i was within death's grasp like i thought if that line wanted to he could be in this open truck in about a second and a half if he just lunged at us and i'm not kidding my hand started shaking i was like film and i literally got really scared and i said to the guy i said dude i said move this truck i said i want to keep watching but move it so that if we can go he goes oh we're fine i said dude i used to be a forest ranger i know about nature it's unpredictable you think you know it but anything can go wrong and any set nature is not produced so i forced him to move it and he said you don't need to worry they're not going to eat anything they've got to kill they're not hungry

they're not going to kill and so we watched them for a while and then one of them got up and started walking and he said let's follow it so he pulls the truck we start kind of driving beside it beside it and and it's over maybe about you know 15 20 feet and we're just driving beside it and then all of a sudden it starts speeding up and so he starts speeding up and then all of a sudden it goes into a crouch and remember the the male lions don't traditionally hunt it's the females and then he's in a crouch and he's going beside us and now we're driving pretty fast and we're driving along and all of a sudden out of nowhere like 15 wildebeest literally jumped like over the hood

of our Land Rover. They just came out of nowhere flying out and we lost sight of the lion and these wildebees and out of nowhere this lion who had just killed something and wasn't going to eat anything flew out of the air grabbed this thing around

the head right in front of us pulled it down killed it right in front of us and got up and walked away. What? Just and The guy was freaking... Took it?

No, he just left it. Get it later. And this is from the guy that said they're not interested in killing. And that's what I saw in its eyes. They're just wired. It's all they know. It's a kill. And it was so...

It was so beautiful. And even the guy driving our guide, he goes, I've been doing this for six years. I've never seen a lion make a kill. And he was flipping out because he goes out every day and he never seen a lion take something down. And here's me and my cousin on our... our first day here and we we got privy to this and it was like but it was so intense but that that energy and that that uh that intensity it's it's just like it i hope everyone gets to experience

it's it's really raw it reminds you did that will the bees make a bunch of noise was it like no it's sort of silent it just they sort of get they they crushed the esophagus and you know it it was like but but then once they get them down they kind of apparently for those of you that it's so graphic to watch apparently prey animals have a huge jump they go into shock severely so they just like get flooded with DMT

right they sort of almost go into shock and they say that they don't really feel the horrible death that happens to them because they just something in their system almost shuts everything off as they get torn apart it's savage but but what happens

in that environment is you sort of oh wow yeah this is see all the vehicles there that's what it's like it's like it sort of ruins it look at them all there's 40 trucks there I mean is you just going to let them all go yeah there's 40 truck that would blow yeah it just takes the look at it

like you still get to see it but look at that it's like you feel like you're on a ride at Disneyland or something it's just going to wait is it like using that to hide. Yeah, that's the thing. I think all those trucks interfere with the natural flow. I can see the lion going.

He's going to crush my skull. Oh, that one's done. Yeah, that's what the male did that we saw. He just ran up and grabbed one and just dragged it down. Like, that's sort of what I saw. Wow. Like the power. And this was an animal that was 20 feet away from us,

and the driver said we don't have to worry because it was just eating. But look at this. The male has the crown like that? Yeah, that's their main. Damn. But what it does is it reminds you sort of of the insignificance of humans because we're draped in weaponry and machinery and science. But if it just came down to me and you and wearing a loincloth and have a spear and that thing,

you realize how weak and vulnerable we are. And that's sort of the magic of safari. I think it's important that we're reminded now and then that... Just wait different than a zoo. You're in it. You're in it. Yeah. In a zoo, you're watching a lion while you're eating caramel corn.

I mean, come on, dude. They're throwing a chicken, which isn't actually in its natural habitat. So, yeah, very powerful, man. Very powerful. Damn, that's cool. Yeah. How much is a safari cost? They're not cheap.

They're not cheap. And when you get to the more remote lodges with the exclusive of, you know, getting your own driver and being at a place. But it's just, I would say, if you're going to go to all the trouble to do it and it's an extra $4,000 or $3,000, like, spend it.

It's such, it's like night and day. He went to Kenya, this podcast, and he said he did a gig out there, and the guy who was running the gigs, he said, do you want to do a safari with you and your chick? And he goes, okay. But he's there with everyone with, like, gray hair and like a bunch of millionaires.

And they're looking at this, like, young black kid and Dominican wife. And like, what do you do for a little? He goes, oh, we got this for free. And they're like, okay, we saved up a lifetime for it. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's one of those bucketless sort of things. Yeah, yeah, you have to.

The more privacy you can get. And also, I hate to say it, but a lot of us humans, we went on the one, as I told you, where we had, you know, there's 15 people in a Land Rover, and you've got, you know, the couple from New York, why is it just laying there? And then you got the guy from Germany with the camera, the you're hearing every click. And you got the other, can we go home?

I've seen enough hippo. You know what I mean? So it's really worth the money to absorb it on your own. It's like, it's like going to a movie by yourself. Every one of those great movies you see of those, it's like you do hear some dumb fuck in the background. Yeah. Or they go, no, no, no, oh, no, no.

And they're like, shut up, it's happening. Yeah. And some of, and also. some of the places you go to because they're so inhabited a lot of the times you see the animals lumbering down a road and you're like i don't want to see a male lion walking down a road with michelin tire tracks yeah i want to see a lion in its element and a lot of these places some of these places you'll see the lions with actual collars on them because they track them for research and it's like well there's a lion eating a draft with a nice like pet co collar on it so you're

want to get off grid as much as you can. If you're going to do it, I recommend that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, we went, I went to Galapagos and one of the places in, no, not Galapagos, sorry. It was in the Amazon, same country. Oh, yeah. But one of the places, like, it just opened up from COVID.

So they had this like hut where you could like see all these like parrots like licking the clay. And it was like just me and another person and then our guide just kind of waiting. And then like we got back to like the main town and we saw a picture of that hut and it's 80 people in there yeah and we're like oh it was just us napping on the benches waiting you're lucky it's like my moment in the pyramids like you know we all want to be there and i'm not knocking other people but when you can get there and it's better it's better nature works better because not only you absorb it better you make a better

connection with it because it's just you and the thing or the animal so it's we stayed at this place and Yosemite, Zion. We did a comedy seller of Vegas. Me, List, Vecione, maybe Norman and somebody. Yeah. Feeder. But a couple of them left.

So me, List and Vecione and Saratolamash came. We had this, like, there was just like Airbnb in the park. But he goes, hey, you're nearby the main hikes, but also just walk through the backyard. And it wasn't as, like, spectacular, but the fact that nobody was there. Yeah. It was like, let's split up for it.

Yeah. Because nature is a communal experience. That's why these fucking Mexicans in Pasadena with their fucking boom boxes, get out of here. Yeah, anybody with a boom box ruins it. Yeah, it's you want to connect with nature. And conversely, I think nature wants to connect with you. Because even though we're humans, I think nature, we're babies of, we're products of nature. So nature wants to interface with us.

And sometimes our own population can step on the way of that. You know about sound bath or nature bath? What's that? It's when you're on a hike, not in a place like this because it's too dangerous. Yeah. But let's hear out in the woods. And you and a buddy. One of you goes about 100 meters ahead.

Yeah. That's for you. Yeah. And then you just slowly take like even steps, but you're away. And you start hearing more and more critters and more sounds. as you're not like thinking about who to talk to. Yeah. And it just kind of washes over you.

It's, it's, it's almost a spirit. Yeah. And when you have someone else sort of creating noise, it's, it interferes with that communication. That's why it's really nice when you, it can be really nice when you're with someone you love like a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and you can just be there with them holding hands.

and being quiet because then it sort of comes over both of you versus a buddy who's like hey man look at that or you know which is great but yeah if you can be quiet yeah quiet is beautiful quiet quiet let's quiet gets inside of you and I think you release into the quiet too because there's no there's no more barriers it's just like you know yeah the animal sounds are like not really sounds it's just kind of like it's like that music they play it massages yeah you know whatever whatever that music is it's like it's not really a song yeah damn yeah i gotta get a fucking yeah safari all right yeah now then where'd you go uh that was it that was it that was it for my african safari yeah yeah is there anything you wish you would have done that you were like i fucked that up looking back it's hard to remember this was six years ago right before the pandemic yeah maybe it was a bit bit before that might have been nine years ago but um no i mean it was a pretty it was a pretty um rich experience you know i did a lot with seeing the guerrillas and and uh going on like i think like i said we went to two or three different

safari spots and it was uh it was a pretty robust schedule and it was it was really good yeah it just sort of you get addicted to it it makes you want to you sort of want to wake up every day and go out because you know it's going to be a different story every day you're going to see a hippo fighting with a hippo or a leopard taken down like it's every day is a really fascinating journey there so because they all move too so it's not like your spot is going to be the hippo spot every day yeah they're all grazing and moving around and you don't know what something might be injured and there's just there's so many different variation of limp and wildebeest getting ready to fucking get pounced yeah and there's there's so many levels of predators from leopards to hyenas

to foxes to lions to snakes to it's just like it's a really cool collection yeah what'd you eat while you were there well what was cool too is we we stayed at these these lodges are sort of they're sort of high end like we did it sort of high end and the lodges it was like gourmet food and booze you could drink and talking stuff and it's like they put us out in the yard with like sticks all around

like as a barrier and they had a chef and fire blazing and candles and they brought out steak and yeah it was pretty fancy what do you mean sticks all around well they with the tent in the tent place it's it's right out in the wild so they put like a stick barrier around in case something came in like lions came in

and attacked you well you can't just be out in the open at night because they don't know you're sitting down having a nice dinner they're like you are the nice dinner so yeah damn that's fucking cool yeah you write a poem to your buddy I did write a poem I wrote a poem about the guerrillas and about Africa. I don't know if you want to hear one. I always write a poem. What do you mean? Is that your normal thing? Yeah, I like to write poems because the poetry captures the moment while I'm in it.

So I like to write it while I'm there while I'm feeling it. Damn, most people just journal or do nothing. Yeah, I mean, I film and stuff, but I also like to express what I'm feeling in my spirit. it. So I like to write it down and make it sort of poetic. I can read one to you if you want. 100%. I know I read your poem. These ones aren't as long. Okay. I mean, the other one was the most shocking. I should probably get my glasses. Can I get up for a second? Yeah, yeah, sure. Absolutely. Check out the Harlan Highway, everybody. It's a podcast. It's done weekly from an office space in and Agora Hills

Yeah, it was built out of the stuff that They make the black box out of So it survived all the fires really nicely And still running every week, the Harlan Highway Check it out, I've been on there A lot of my friends have been on there Yeah, that's a good time. Thanks for doing it, by the way.

You're welcome. You're welcome. So I have a poem, one about the gorillas, that one, or I can read the one about just sort of Africa and being on safari? I'm going to load up a silverback gorilla video while you read that, this one. Okay, I'll read the gorilla one. Got it.

Tell me when you want me to read it. Wow, this is cool. Oh, damn. Okay, here we go. Yeah. Ready? Yeah. Here it is.

behind ancient volcanic walls through the green bamboo halls come the great ape's primal calls how they enthrall deep inside the emerald world the gorilla makes his home resting upon the leafy floor his motives never known soft and yet shy with power so savage in a bountiful garden at will to ravage roaming the underbrush so silent serene then bursting with energy in a primordal scream

but what does it want this king of the hill nothing from us yet it's blood we still spill its eyes filled with expression so close to man its human-like fingers on its giant black hands they seem to be watching us taking us in so much like us but free of all sin like gentle imitations of what we should be, roaming in clans, unhindered and free. We stand and observe them, or do they observe us, not wanting involvement, not wanting involvement

with its closest cousin's fuss. Do we see them as primates, or is it the other way around? As they live with no attainment while the pavement we pound. And despite all the wisdom matched on their faces, It is us who decide if they stay in their places. As man kills the jungle and cuts down their home, soon the king has no domain and nowhere to roam. And deep in their eyes, when consensus low sorrow, as if somehow they know they may have no tomorrow.

But yet they keep the vigil so vulnerable and passive, as humans need keep on growing, feeding the masses. And alas, the poor ape, almighty and graceful, must bow to the humans who act so disgraceful. Each ticking second leaves them swinging on a thread. Alas, such a tragedy when the last ape is dead. I know, because like I said that the dirt... Yeah, we really are encroaching. We just keep breeding. We just keep breeding and moving in. Yeah, and they're an endangered species, and they're also poached, and they're killed, and their body parts are sold

and they're harvested for meat because it's an impoverished area. But they're so human-like, as you can see. There's so many human characteristics. I mean, I think we're just a chromosome away or something from them biologically. And we've all been to the zoo where you just get mesmerized watching them

because they look like people. They're such people. Yeah. And I was thinking about America recently, the United States. Yeah. Canada, too. But, like, when they settled, you know, in the east and then slowly moved west, it was like, you had to put those big log things up, not for just the natives, but also, like,

the animals and the fort. Yeah. And it was just, like, little pockets of human. Yeah. With all swaths of nature, who knows wherever they go. And now it's, like, little swaths of nature. Yeah. You have, like, Yosemite and Zion, but they're, like, enclosed.

Well, you've got to remember at one point in time, the buffalo herds of North America were as massive as the migrating herds in Africa, which are millions. And at one point, the buffalo just swarmed across the plains of North America. And they eradicated them to the point where I think they were down to a few hundred buffalo and they had to save them. And now there's a few little spots, as you said, across America where there's buffalo. it's pretty sad but encouraging in a weird way that something just happened with the dire wolf just last week just about to bring that up yeah where they resurrected it and it's not a pure dire wolf but it has the genetic material it's not a pure dire wolf and a timber wolf they found a fossil some some DNA in a fossil yeah and so now here's my question so that's a weird one because

like die wolf has already died out yeah and so probably a lot of its competitors died out too so to reintroduce it seems like like I don't know what the effects of this are going to be right but when there's like 200 of something left yeah you're like why not make it 250 why not just just do a few clones yeah it's not gone yet yeah let's just or if there's like oh there's only one male left like let's clone them a female well I think they're doing that there's a species of I think Galapagos tortoise or African tortoise where they've just done that

where they've cloned a bunch of living species and I think that's becoming more the protocol than trying to wait till they've hit the finish line and bring them back so. I'm sure they're like what are the effects of this but also like what are the effects of them just dying out? Yeah.

Because of pollution or just because some volcano went off and then they didn't get out of there. Yeah, we don't truly know the reasons so many of species when extinct, you know, especially dinosaurs and things like that. But the Galapagos ones, I remember they're saying, like, there's like six different species of, or maybe more, of tortoises. Sometimes even in the same island, they're like completely different species.

Because the volcano blew up and went this way, killed everything there and isolated those. Yeah. And then those, and then they all just, like, changed their own way. And sometimes it's down to the vegetation or even a few degrees of temperature. Oh, right. Or even just the terra firma, like if the ground's sort of pebbly and sandy versus lush with greener, it'll, and Galapagos, it altered, like, the species there. Yeah. Amazing.

Damn, what a fun trip. Yeah. You're also so smart to be like, I'm already going to Israel on the dime, on the arm, but, like, that could, that would probably be enough for plenty of people. Yeah. But you're like, well, let's, no, I'm here now. Let's do my own thing. No, I always do that. If I'm, if I'm, because I'm like, I'm on the other side of the world.

Brilliant move. Like these guys, I took them. Tender frienders. I took the tender frienders. About two years ago, I took them on the bullet train in Japan and took them out in the country to see the snow monkeys. In Japan? In Japan. And I also, I laid down, you know, that famous crosswalk where.

thousands of people across i literally sat them in it and laid on my stomach filming them while thousands of people walked by no fucking way these guys are just sitting there yeah oh you got to send me that like that's that's so funny and there you just see feats you just see feet and then i did how did you not get trampled well that's the fun thing about these guys forced me because i i i do i shoot them as a filmmaker so i look for angles and i create little stories so these guys are forcing me to get out into these places to do and see things I wouldn't normally do whereas a lot of time you might say I'll just hang in the hotel today but these guys sort of forced me to get out and interact and I got to tell you when I get home with these

these guys are more of a scrapbook to my trip than any picture I took because they're I'm filming them so they're sort of interacting where I was and they're living in the space where I was and even though it's a ridiculous silly story I tell I put them there like I didn't have film of me on the bullet train but I have them on the bullet train it's also less solipsistic instead of like selfie yeah that's to me that's just boring yeah so now I have this thing where it's these two wacky tourists are on this and it's not just them sitting there hey I'm with a snow monkey like they're on an adventure like I get them in the mix. Like, I went to Gatorland in Florida, where they have two of the only four albino

alligators in existence. And I told the people that ran the place that it was my son's birthday and these are his dolls. And he would go bonkers if you let these guys ride on them. And they let me put the damn dolls on the Gators back and the Gator ate one of them, had it in his mouth and it was great made for a great story so these guys sort of get me out what a great way to get you know the word psychogeography i don't know if i'm saying it right but it's just something that gets you moving yeah and it creates a great memory because then i come home and i have to edit it i edit them like movies look over your pictures instead of like having come up of memories i look over the pictures and then i have close-ups i have wide angles i have weird angles i have them like walking down the street

to have them going over Niagara Falls. I've got, you know, I mean, they're fucking the St. Louis Arch. They're out in Saudi Arabia. And I actively look for, you know, as a filmmaker, I look for kind of visual setups that are kind of catch the eye, you know. And in Saudi Arabia, I had these guys like, you know, worshipping at a mosque, going up and down and just having fun. Like, it's just ridiculous the stuff they do.

so it's really fun I mean that's perfect it's a better scrapbook than any any sort of just cheesy click you know yeah yeah I'll try to do like something

like instead of T-shirts are done yeah so like if I can get a vinyl record that's like in Spanish right but like the cure I'll be like all right I remember I got this on a street market somewhere yeah you know I'll probably film you with them oh yeah for sure

last year I took them to Milan to a Dolshan Gabana fashion show and I've got them by the catwalk as Naomi Campbell strutting down and these guys are sitting there like like the stuff they get into it's so fun I took them out to the desert in Arizona where those 50 foot cactuses are

and you know they have these big holes in them that the birds the woodpeckers built and these guys thought that the cactus had an asshole and one of them climbed into it and got attacked by an owl. So it's like you just, you never know what's going to happen with them. You can put them in places that we can't go.

Like I can't go in and ride on the back of an alligator, but they can't. They can go anywhere. So it's a lot of fun. That's pretty fun. Yeah. What a dumb outfit too. Yeah.

Just overly large, large pants, yeah. Overly large underwear. made in China that's great I mean if you want Arias a little bonus treat I mean I can put them in this chair

and if you want to interview them for a minute or 40 seconds and have them on your show I'm sure they'd be happy to yeah sure let's absolutely do that I think they'd like that yeah absolutely let's do that

they've never been on a famous podcast they've never never you're holding them back man should we get them in the chair and you could ask them a few questions I need to get a box. He's inside and he's wearing a hat. What's wrong with him?

We're here with the Tender Frienders, the first inanimate guests of this podcast. Enema? Did he say he wanted to give us an enema? Freak! Why would he want to give us an enema? Cinnamon, I think he said cinnamon. A cinnamon enema? Freak!

Hey guys, welcome. So I guess my first question is, well, maybe a two-parter. Where's your favorite places you've been, and where would you... Kind of like, where would you like to go in the future? My favorite place was to your wife's face. I'd like to go into your wife's underwear drawer. I bet it smells like arthritis. Ugh, rude.

We'd also like to sniff your wife's legs. And boil onions and eggplants on her forehead. Stupid forehead wife. Whoa. And I once visited Barry Manilow's bedroom and watched him sleep. Oh, really? And I visited Indonesia and got leprosy on my wife. tea. No fucking way. What? And I also visited Scher's house and went poo on her pillow

slips. Oh, I would love to do that. I ate garlic bread on the Great Wall of China. I've been to Turkey, Egypt, and Pompeii. And I've been to paradise. But I've never been to me. God damn. You've been to better place than most of my friends. I've been to Denny's and ate your wife's Legs. Ugh. And did you get diarrhea from that at all? No, but we've got the wind of a thousand tarantula nightmares. I've got gas like a Chinese garbage truck.

Yeah, I bet. I bet. Have a whiff, hat face. Taste my hemorrhoid meat. Yeah, that's, uh, I think we got enough. treat I gotta get out here anyway I gotta do smell your wife's face

thanks guys sniff your wife's face sniff it hat head wait give me one more thing I forgot I haven't done these in too long where do you want to go next where's the next spot you're looking to go

that you have not been and if you have a travel tip although that travel tip of find the less more remote fucking safari is a great one if you don't have another I haven't been to Thailand yet, believe it or not. Interesting. That's the starter for Southeast Asia.

Yeah, I haven't been. And I also, I think I want to go to Madagascar. Usually I like the animals, but the vegetation in Madagascar, they have those crazy, weird trees that look like pineapples, like some of the vegetation and the rock formations in Madagascar are really alluring to me. Really? Yeah. got those they almost look like cartoon trees yeah they don't look real and then they also have

they have these really weird like rock yeah look at the like i just want to be i want to touch those trees yeah that looks badass it's just something so cool wow and then if you put in sort of there's some really cool rock formations they almost look like um like like upside down staglidates or whatever they're called there's some really cool yeah those things oh Yeah, like I want to go and see those. Limestone. They have these in Australia in north of Perth. Oh, really?

Yeah. They just look cool, man. It's so weird. It's just like salt rock like comes up, but it's not from like slackpites I get. The dripping leave something. But this is like, picture the tender frienders running around on those. Man, they'd have a blast. Right?

Or in one of those kooky trees? Like, come on. I mean, the tender friender's got to get to Madagascar and Thailand. Mysterious stone forests. Look at that. It just goes on forever. And what's amazing is as sharp as those look, the lemurs jump around on those. There's a species of lemur that live in those.

And they use the sort of the barbed edges as protection. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, there's a lemur on there. Oh, wow. So it's a fascinating looking place. So that's on the horizon for you.

I think so. I think I haven't been there. Any like plans or just like you just keep thinking about it? I'm actually sort of talking about it. I might do Thailand this year. And while I'm there, I might dip up, you know, like I said, while you're there, go somewhere else. So maybe I'll do both of these. I got some off-camera tips for you for Thailand.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Oh, good. Some cool spots and some like. Yes. And so just tips in general for going out there. I love. Yeah.

tender friender you're my you're my tender friender buddy i love you love you buddy thank you congrats on your trippy awards yeah dude thank you i'm really honored by that that's amazing wow overwhelmingly no surprising sure because i didn't i didn't know i mean i just know you was one of the premier rifers in the country oh thank you excuse a derogatory word yeah i'm so close my dad calls me a riffer but like damn yeah but that trip was so fucking epic and then Thanks for coming back.

I'm fucking... Thank you. Like I said, after you left the last one, you're got to be on here like 20 times. Yeah, well, hopefully I can come back

with a Madagascar Thailand store. So we'll try and make it happen. All right. And send me the pictures from this one. Yeah. Thank you, Ari. You're welcome. I love you.

Thank you. All right, everybody. That's the episode. Thank you very much. Harlem Williams for coming in another great episode. Damn. The guy rules.

He's traveled so well. Today's episode is edited by Alan Caffee. is produced by your mom's house network. As always, thank you very much. Make sure to go see Harlan Williams live, you guys. He's at the Burton Cummings Theater, October 26th in Winnipeg. What is it? Alberta?

Alberta. Winnipeg, Nova Scotia? No. Yeah, maybe Nova Scotia. No. Winnipeg. Americans, I mean, Canadians, I'm sorry. We just really don't know.

I know more than most people. Is it Manitoba? It could be Manitoba. And I know very little, and I know more than most Americans about your geography. Even the tuners, I know about them, up theirs. But go check them out at the Burton Cummings Theater in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I think it's Manitoba. And check out his podcast, the Harlan Highway podcast.

I've been on there. You can start with that one. His Instagram, Harlan Williams. That's it. Now let me tell you about Shroomfest. I spend it on a lake. I got this house. I don't know how you guys did for your ShroomFest.

By the way, you can still buy Shroomfest shirts. There's a limited stock available if you celebrate it or if you just celebrate in general, the joy of shrooms. Go get your Shroomfest shirt at RHFair.com or at the bottom of the screen if you're watching on YouTube. You can also get these UB. Trippin' shirts. Go for a hike shirt. Wear that.

Where else? Oh, I do you'll be tripping stickers. Jew vinals. I don't know. Grinders. Psychedelic playing cards. But let's get back to Psychedelic. So I got these mushrooms from a street dealer, and I've never seen them before.

They were about that big, just caps, hard as a rock. I saw them the next day, and I was like, those are fake, right? I mean, I'm not going to obviously get a refund at this point, but those are fake. Goes, no, no, no, no. Those are real. Those are given to me by a Peruvian who had it blessed by a shaman in Peru. And I was like, I don't know. So here's what I do when I don't know if my drugs work or not.

I find someone who can't afford drugs, and I chip them off some and let them test it. And that's what happened. Chipped it off. My friend Hamish tested him. He put him in a cup of hot water, and he sipped on it. He goes, oh, yeah, they work. I can't tell you exactly how strong they were, but they work. Now, these are way more than I needed.

I probably got, what did he give us? Like, he said a dose is four grams. And I'm like, that's not a dose. That's enough for two people. Three grams, I think, an eighth maybe. And I'm like, that's more than a dose. And he goes, well, that's a dose. That's where I sell them in.

So I'm like, all right, I'll take two just in case. I'm glad we got more because we let Hamish test a little bit. He said they're good. They work. Perfect. He had him at work. So he could only test him so much. But all I wanted to know is if they worked. So I made a tea with them. And I just said, screw it. I'm putting them all in. And I got this Airbnb on this giant lake. I mean, perfect. A fire pit, kayaks you can take. Woods. I mean, not what? Stars. A little yard. There's another Airbnb over there. They said they will have access

to the yard, but they're not going to bug you. Well, turns out 10 people showed up, including three small children under the age of 10 and five rescue dogs who growled. relentlessly at us. It pushed back our trip. We couldn't do it that day. Couldn't do the next day. Finally Monday. That's a cool thing about Shroom Fest.

We do it Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. For instance like this, they all left. Were we able to make a fire pit? However, the mushrooms didn't work. This is the first time in Shroomfest history, the mushrooms didn't work. I finally had access to a yard and it was great. And I made a fire and I drank some. I smoked some reefer.

But, man, they just didn't hit. But they hit for Hamish. so I don't fully understand it. Anyway, still a great shroom fest. The fire pit out there on the lake was great. I pissed in the lake over and over again. Able to drink some Gio beers. I just kind of had a blast.

Even if they didn't hit, it was still able to make me think about stuff and whatever. And I did, in fairness, I had just on mushrooms about a month before, so maybe my tolerance was up. I don't know. Next year, Shroom Fest is last weekend of August, guys. August 20, 26. is August. I got it here. 28th. Nah. July, August. 29th, 30th and 31st. Anytime you want to celebrate Shroomfest, just take mushrooms. The 28th, the day before, is a full lunar eclipse. What I would say, go ahead and extend it if you want to do it that day. That would be pretty sick. If you

know what Shumfest is, it's just like Christmas. We all just meet up and do shrooms all over the world. So that's what it is. I had a great time. How did you spend your Shroom Fest? Please leave in the comments below. And if you have any guests, you would like me to interview, please leave those as well. Next week's episode, Small Brained America. Oh yeah, you guys, I've been trying to get him on forever, and he's finally coming on to talk about me and more. One of my favorite places in the world, one of the most craziest places in the world I've ever been to, and the least

mapped out. I was there for a short time, and the government really pushed control back to the people for a little bit, the Army. so was a small-brained American and he came in and talked about it and I'm fucking over the moon that he was able to come and fucking super stoked that we did Myanmar I mean who's been to Myanmar? Not many people no comics except Turner

that's it you guys thank you very much for turning in get yourself some merch subscribe wherever you're watching and listening until next week Harlan by the way buddy crazy

having a giant gorilla rush at you I mean you really get out there to do stuff. All these guys stay in hotels. All these guys stay in hotels and don't do shit. They go with their wives to a hotel. They get fucking pinocaladas on the beach and don't do shit. And you fucking do stuff, Harlan.

You're a real traveler. Go see him at the Burton Cummings Theater. Check out his podcast, the Harlan Highway podcast. Also go see him. You can get at Harlan Williams.com. Waukegan, Illinois, Houston, Dallas, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, and Chicago. That's it, everybody. Until next week, I'll see you later.

Goodbye.