You Be Trippin' - Argentina w/ Tom Segura | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Follow Tom on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/seguratom/ Follow Ari on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/AriShaffir Follow You Be Trippin' on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod Ari's shirt by https://www.instagram.com/micu.nyc/ Tom's shirt is from the private collection of Giorgio Armani that he won off him in a baccarat game over at Fendi's house. SPONSORS: -Head to https://Superpower.com and use code TRIPPIN at checkout for $20 off your membership. Unlock your new health intelligence. 100+ biomarkers. Every year. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod Tom Segura is back on this week's episode of You Be Trippin'! Hot off their classless World Cup loss in horrible fashion, Argentina is the focus of today’s episode. Tom talks about a trip he took with his mother when he was 22 where everyone assumed he was her boyfriend. So much so that he managed to snag the attention of another older woman. They also discuss Argentina’s “colorful” use of language and how no other Latin American country compares. And no trip to Argentina is complete without mentioning their pièce de résistance: Steak. You just won’t get a better steak than in Argentina, specifically at the one and only Don Julio’s in Buenos Aires. Chau, nos vemos. You Be Trippin' Ep. 128 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:16 - World Cup Finals: Argentina Loses 00:09:17 - Argentina's History 00:12:57 - Latin Stereotypes 00:13:42 - Tom Almost Fights Someone Over An "American" Shirt 00:18:17 - Exploring Argentina: Steak, Ushuia, and The Boca Juniors 00:24:43 - Argentina Is Sexy and Rowdy 00:29:05 - England's Loss 00:32:35 - Everyone Thought Tom Was Dating His Mom 00:36:05 - Mendoza Machisma 00:42:00 - Argentina's Famous Cursing 00:48:47 - Islas Malvinas 00:54:42 - Ruining Top-Tier Argentine Steaks 01:04:42 - Tom Bombs In London 01:11:47 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where you've been at? This is our East Travel Show. Yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's you. Hello. Los Movina's on Argentina. Welcome to Ubi Chippin, everybody.

It's the only podcast expressly created to anger English soccer fans. Today, my guest is Mr. Tom Segura. Well, I found out luckily this morning is not Mexico. That's true. I'm not Mexican. Blew my mind. There's a lot of people who have said that to me. Yeah.

Bobby Lee's favorite thing to say to me is... He always gets called Chinese, too. He gets called Chinese, and then I have to admit that I never correctly identify his ethnicity. So he always replies by being like, you fucking Mexican. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not Mexican, man. Yeah. But you know what happens the most to me?

What? Like, my whole life is people go, oh, you're Argentine. I really did think you're Argentine. Everybody says that to me. And why do they say that? Because I have blue eyes and fair skin. What else? I speak Spanish.

No, specifically Argentina. Arrogent? Arrogent, yes. That's exactly it. You think you're better than everyone else in Latin America. That's what they think. And you think of that mad? That's me?

I thought you were, yeah. Yeah. When you got your first Porsche, I was like, oh, I thought it was Chilean. I guess it's Argentine. No, and here's that there's another layer to it that is very funny. And I just saw a Peruvian comedian make a joke about this. And I was like, oh, so this is a common occurrence. And it is this.

It's kind of nuanced. It's kind of detailed. But so when I meet people that are native Spanish, you're really putting your matte in there pretty. Oh, you got to pour it in. Yeah, yeah. The first time I had it, it was just like somebody left it in an Airbnb, and I took a spoonful and mixed it in.

Yeah. And then I took a Monte class. You took a class? It was some, like, lodge, and they were like, because it comes with a free class. Okay. And I was like, okay. And he goes, have you had it before?

I go, yeah. He goes, what did you do? Put a spoonful in? I'm like, yeah. It was fucking whites. No, don't the fucking thing. It's fill it up. And you love matte?

I love it. Every day? Yeah, more or less. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's something we definitely got it covered in an Argentine episode. Yeah, yeah, for sure, man. Yeah.

But first. Yeah, yeah, I was going off on a tangent. Yeah, we'll do the matte. I'll show you how to do matte in a second. First, what a fucking game. Dude. Wow. All right.

So we're covering Argentina. I wish they could have won that game. It would have made this a better, it would have made it's a cooler podcast. I know. The sadness that must be just permeating throughout that place right now is just inconceivable. But the Spanish, to their credit, like, I mean, it means a lot to them, too, for sure. And they haven't won one in forever? Actually, I don't know.

When's the last time they won? 2010? Yeah. Yeah. Which is a long time. Yeah, it's not... For football country. They love it there.

They said Yamal's now going to probably win the Palm Door. Yeah. Like, whichever one of them won would be... Ballondor. Ballondor. Oh, yeah. Palm, I think, is for Cannes Film Festival. Yeah, that's right.

But I think there's something to some of these national teams that play together a lot. Like, I don't know if these guys... You know what I mean? They have a familiarity with each other, and maybe that's a thing for Spain, but... Dude, you kind of knew something was up when they beat France. France looked like a... Handled France. They looked like a second-rate team.

It was crazy. I thought France... The defense is like, oh. Other story, man. Yeah, Bobby was just like staring at them all. It was weird. It was weird. Yeah, I mean...

And there was a little while where I was like, Argentina's going to take it. Argentina will be taking this. And then at some point, you started to dawn on you. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Spain. I guess they got it. Incredible.

I mean, all, you know, hats. off to Oster, Hollibne. Yeah. Yeah. If we had been on more trips to Spain, we could have done a Spain episode,

but this was, this is what we'll do. Have you been to Spain? I have. Spain's pretty bad, dude. Spain's incredible. All right, well, that's what you'll do when we come back.

Yeah. All right, but let's get into Argentina, though. Okay. When Argentina, because their soccer has been so successful for so long, it's, of course,

like it makes the Argentine, proud. It really does make like the region proud. Yeah. Like people want it because they get to go, that came from this they came from South America, you know. Yeah, right. They really take a lot of pride in it. They're the leaders too. Like I said, they're the leaders

of South America. They all look up to them. Well, that could probably be debated because it's an interesting history. Like, it goes up there. When when you talk about like the 50s and 60s

and people, people would go to Argentina, they would be like, they used to call it the Paris of South America. And part of that was because the architecture was very European, and like, so was the population. A little too European. That still is. And, like, some people are just discovering that. But it's like, look, man, they opened their immigration from the late 1800s into the early 1900s. It brought in about six million European immigrants.

two million plus of which were from Italy. Wow. So, and then a bunch from Spain, too. So they have, like, they had millions of people from these countries come in. And that became this, like, really interesting mix. And, you know, it influenced the way they speak. I'm sure you picked up on how they speak. I sure did.

It's a different accent. All the double Ls go to CH. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's sure. Chevroar. Aishos.

It's Aishos, not Aeos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it took a second because you're like, and it used to be, what's interesting is it used to be more sing-songy. It used to be more. So if you, if you, if you watch a clip from like Buenos Aires in the 50s and 60s of like people speaking, it is more sing-songy.

And that's because the, like, they're like first, second generation Italians. They're saying. And they're speaking Spanish. like really like meshed with Italian and the reason now it's a little less sing-songy is that that generation is has kind of dissipated they're not like direct Italian immigrants born there now so you still have it but it's a little less performative than it was which was like natural to them you know yeah but the accent it's really fast first time I heard an Argentine speak Spanish I was in Miami Beach yeah I was

was like a teenager. And when you don't know what you don't know, right? So like my whole, my whole life, I had heard Spanish spoken at home and like from relatives and and like visitors who came to the house. And so like my ear was accustomed to just like, basic Spanish. Like well, like one Spanish, like my Peruvian Spanish. So like every time I heard Spanish spoken, And I was like, that's Spanish. And I had met a few other people, but not. It's pretty neutral. Yeah, neutral.

It's a pretty neutral accent. Like for the most part, most people from Lima speak with like, it's, you know. It's not like Washington, D.C. accent. There is none. Yeah, it feels like you're just kind of, it feels like a broadcaster speaking, you know? So like it's what you're kind of used to. Like now, obviously over all these years, you learn about, you hear the difference between like Spain and Mexico and Colombia.

Tommy and Chile. But I heard this guy on Miami Beach speaking, and I remember that I was like, what are you doing? What is that? And then my mom was there and I go, get a load of this fucking guy, right? And she was like, oh yeah, he's Argentine. And I was like, but what is that? Like, that's not Spanish. And she was like telling me like, yeah, they're better than us. They speak this. Be like them. And that's also when I learned about the stereotypes and the way that like specifically latins. So, like, there are, you know, there's cultural jokes, right? Like, you, like, in America, I guess we have them about Southerners too, right?

Like, you're, like, dumb hillbillies. You can make it, you can just say, like, well, he's from Alabama. And everybody goes, oh, like, they just know what that means. Mm-hmm. Like, in Latin America, there's so many jokes that, like, the joke is, well he's insupportable, like he's insufferable because he's an arrogant, thinks he's better than everyone, Argentine.

And like everybody gets, you don't have to explain it. Right. Like he's Argentine. That means he's an egotistical person, you know. You think that's what Che was like fighting against? The egoism? When he was like, I'm not like that. I don't know.

That's maybe. Well, like, I can see everybody and they're suffering. I'm not, I know I come from doctor, but I'm not that guy. He's probably like... Early on, I mean... Yeah, maybe there's a few layers to that. Also, I don't know if that was fully a thing in Che's era, you know?

Like, it became more of a thing. But the funny thing is that, like, I heard those stereotypes growing up. Like, those were all... The jokes were always about them being full of themselves. And then all my experiences with Argentines... Yeah. ...are fantastic. I love them.

It's so funny. I love them. Really? I have had nothing but 10 out of 10 experiences with Argentines. I love the culture. I love the people there. I love the food. I feel like they're super fun, full of life.

They are full of life. They're kind of like Australian vibes where you're like, these guys are fun. You know, when you're like with Australian people, you're like, these guys are so fun. You're like, they're good fucking show. On the Chinese go for it. They go for it.

Argentine, dude, there's a whole thing if you, you can find these like reels of like super famous rock stars like musicians talking about world tours, you know, because they do stadiums all over the world. And like in, like a whole bunch of them being like, oh yeah, when I did Argentina, that's the craziest show I've ever done.

Wow. Like multiple across different genres too, you know, like Mick Jagger and like. And they're just like they have good crowds. They're like, show was different, man. I was in Paris, but that's another one. I have not experienced the rudeness. Of Paris. Yeah. Yeah. I heard one thing of like, if you go into a shop, that probably the guy working owns it. Yeah. Don't just start grabbing his shit. Just say hello first. Yeah. Maybe that was

enough. But everywhere I went, I was, maybe I'm more open, but everyone was pretty friendly. Pretty cool. I bought a record. I bought a Come on Eileen record on like the Zen or whatever. Yeah. One of those little stops. And the guy was like, I saw them in 82. I'm like, wait, what? And I'm talking. He goes, it wasn't a great show. I'm like, why? He goes, French crowds suck, dude. They just suck. They don't give anything to the performers.

The performers can't really give much back. Yeah. It sounds like the opposite of this. And I, obviously, I'm not a musician, but I did a show in Buenos Aires. Spanish? Well, I did both. I did English and Spanish. So fucking cool.

And I got to tell you, it was a 500-seater. Yeah. I mean, bananas. Really? Like one of those shows you remember of, like, that was fucking awesome. That was one of the most. fun shows I've had. Like that was crazy fun. Are you failing? I mean physically. I mean is your body falling apart like mine. Nick Yusuf once said I have the body of a melting candle and he's not

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head over to superpower.com and use to go Tripping for $20 off your $199 Superpower membership. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower. Tell them you'd be Trippin sent you to support the show. Let's get back to the episode. And yeah, dude, I mean, I went twice. I'll tell you this, the only bad, I did have one interaction that I wouldn't, I mean, it was bad, but like a guy got mad at me. Yeah. Because I was 21.

Dude, that's every show you do. No, this wasn't a show. You can't run out of Australia. This was like when I was 21 or 22, I went to Buenos Aires with my mom. From Chile? No, no, no. From Peru, excuse me? From North America.

Like, we went on a trip there. So we were like, I'm 22. She's whatever, 104. And we go down there. And we're just spending a few days, like, visiting the city. She's like, I haven't been here since I was 25, that kind of thing. So I was like, all right, we went down there for like a week or. or something.

So we were walking around and I walked into a store. And this is my first time getting like access to this angle. I hadn't thought of this in life yet. Yeah.

Go ahead. We're in the store. Yeah. And I want to buy something like a shirt, right? Okay. But I don't want to buy a shirt. you can buy...

In America. Right. Yeah. So, you know what I mean? So I'm like, I want to get something like from here. So I'm talking to the guy who's a young guy. And I was like, you know, we're speaking Spanish. But I'm like, I say like, I say I want to buy a shirt, but I don't want it to be like, you know, from here.

I don't want to buy a shirt. shirt from America. And this dude, he got, he was like, his whole demeanor changed. And he was like, what do you mean? What's that supposed to mean? And I was like, and I'm innocently asking. Like, I'm like, I don't want to buy an American shirt. I kept saying that.

And he was like, this is America. Oh. And it was, it was like a label kind of thing, right? And I was like, no, this is Argentina. He's like, are we not part of the Americas? I'm like, okay, I mean, okay, dude. Like, I see what you're saying. But some of it is this, is that...

You're being difficult. That's my take. You're being difficult. You know what the fuck is everyone's saying. It's like, here's the thing. In English, we say we're American. We don't say we're United States American. Exactly.

And like... We're not stealing the rest of it. We shorten it to. It's just, it's in our name. name, right? The French call us American, right? And usually even Spanish speakers like, oh, they'll be like, so an Americanos. Like, they call us Americans. But this dude was really locked on to the fact that I was like, no kirona, like, I want something from here. And he's like, yeah, but this is America. We're just South America. I'm like, you know what I fucking mean.

I'm a fucking child, first of all. Yeah. This is not your take, it's time to take a stance. And someone pulled him back from me. He was going to fight you. Well, he was just like so emotional. They were like, it's okay. They were like calming him down. And I was like, I wasn't worked up. I was like, I don't understand why you have an issue with this, you know.

You didn't even get it. Not really. And then I told some cousins of mine. And they were like, yeah, he's right. I was like, okay. All right. I mean, I get the point. The point isn't lost on me.

I was like, yeah, but you all. also know that you call us Americans. You call us Americans. When I was traveling through, it was split between the people who were like, no, that we're all Americans. That's bad bunny when he's like naming all the Americas. Sure. And people like, dude, stop. Yeah, I mean, you're this Argentina. That's America. That's Canada. I understand your point, but also get the fuck out of here. Like, yeah, it's, you understand what the hell is being said. You're not saying you're not the Americas. Exactly. Yeah. Like, you know what country I'm from.

So you went twice? I went twice. I went when I was 22, and that was like that show with my mom. And then a few years ago, I did a tour where I did shows in Argentina, Chile, and Mexico City. Buenos Aires? Yeah. Just Buenos Aires. And that's the only place I've been, which is I really want to go take, like, an exploring trip to Argentina.

Like, see it. I got a couple spots for you. Do you? Yeah. Well, Mendoza. Yes. You like wine. Yeah.

It's everywhere. By the way, the Argentinian wine. It was interesting, when you're in Chile, they're like, wine is just as good. You're going to pay three times as much over there as soon as you cross the border because they're uppity.

They take their wine seriously. But the Romanescos, no. Carmenaries are like great Chilean wines. Yeah. They'll have it there, too. They'll triple the price. But the amount that they have of wine, just like, here's a bottle, for sure.

Just you? Yeah, take a, take a bottle. Or, oh, pour your glass. I don't fill up a fucking glass. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's not a commodity there. When I was, when I was 22 and I went, I went to, I was walking down the street and there, you know, everyone was like, you have to try a steak here.

We have a famous for a steak. And I'm like, yeah. So I'm like, I love steak. I go into like, like literally walk down the street and you see steak. Yeah. I go, okay, I sit down and like, kind of steak for, you know, lunch and they're like, sure. and the guy brings like a mini grill out to a table like this and puts what I would call just like two large rib-eyes

and I'm like, oh, yeah, it's just me. And he was like, yeah. Eat what you want. That's lunch. I'm like, God damn. Like that was lunch. Was two massive fucking like porterhouse. Yeah.

They go for it. If you're had, it's a cut I've only had there. Basio, basio. I don't remember. I think it's this. When I was in somewhere, Indonesia somewhere, I met some Argentinians,

and they were like, it's just one cut, you can't get there. I try to remember what it was. It might be molleja, actually. But forget that. Vassio,

it's just so fucking delicious and good. Yeah, I believe it. Their steak in the Parisha. They care. Yeah. We'll do a sado. A bulloo.

Lasado. Yeah. Yeah, no, they love their, they're grilling, their steak. Obviously, matte.

Oh, they're crazy. crazy with the Matta. But didn't you have good experiences with them? With what? With Argentines. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have, I had.

The other was going to be Patagonia, which is like, Enruta, on Ruta Quarenta. It's just like, it goes from, so you in Chile, it's one, it's, it's the Carterra Estral. It's just pretty much two lanes. Yeah. It's not much of a carterra, and they rewilded everything. But at some point, it cuts over, unless you take a ferry, it cuts over into Argentina. It goes from Chile, beautiful, lush to barren.

The winds are so fucking nuts that they have these side, the high, the high, the high wind signs and it shows a tree bent over like this. And then you start seeing those trees because the wind just comes in. I'd be pissing. I'd be like a camper van. I'd be pissing and I'd be like, let me see, piss for distance, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And then the wind will just shift and it's just all over.

Covers you. That's great. And then down south in Ushawa. It was incredible. How long do you spend in Argentina? Not long enough for sure. And there's all the countryside and shit I would have loved to explore. But Buenos Aires was so fun.

So fusha was cool. I got to see the penguins hatching. I want to go, because there's things that you're like, there's things you want to see. I was just telling somebody this about how when I won the contest. Bud Light? No, the fat contest with Bert. Oh.

That you're like, I'll take you to anything. And I was like, oh, I want to see a classical, like, Real Madrid, Barcelona. And you were like, get the fucking out of it. So. I said anywhere, but I meant any. What? So we went to the. You took us.

You didn't have money then. You had like a little bit. You're like, no. But you still spent a fortune. You took us to the Alabama Georgia game. I was like, because I was called it Welch over so long that I'm like, I'm going to put money behind changing this. Yes. Yeah.

I remember I was saying that like. What a fucking trip that was. Oh my God. And also the game was unbelievable. We saw, we went to the national championship game, Alabama, Georgia in Atlanta. which I think it was 2019, which was a, before COVID. The game ended on, was one on the last play. It was like a last.

One got a field goal, the other went for a touch. It was touchdown. Yeah. And they had like fourth and something on the, it was like crazy. That was unbelievable. And I remember that I didn't, to just give you credit as not being a cheap J.E.W is that I didn't even know what you spent. I had no reference. I had not bought tickets to something like that.

And then I remember that after that game, I was like that was just like the we were hanging out later. I was like, man, thanks for doing this. And you're like, yeah, I was like, hey, how much were those tickets? And you go, how much do you think they were? And I was like, I don't know, $1,500. And you were like, no. And then you told me they were like, they were like $10. And I was like, what?

And it wasn't like front row. No, they were great seats. But like the 200s, but like 50 yard line. It was crazy, dude. But anyway, oh, that's back to the point. I want to go see River Boko in Buenos Aires. So I went to an Argent, I went to a Guatemalan club game.

Yeah. I don't know if I told you that's my last podcast that we did together. But like, but like, anyway, 5,000 people, but it was a rivalry game. Shela Who MC, so boys,

and against some fucking, I don't remember. Yeah. And 5,000 people, that was full. Yeah. And beforehand, it was like raining, and they're like, what are you doing here? Like, we were like all party and stuff, but we would crouch into the bodegas drinking.

And they're like, you're why, why are you here? And they took me under their wings. They tried to keep me their chance and everything I have to do. They're like sneak in, come with us, sit in the crazy section. And then afterwards we were a party. It was so much fun. You're just standing, going like this the whole time, trying to pretend like, you know, Spanish. Yeah, yeah.

Because it's also like sing-songy, I don't know. Fireworks are going off. Afterwards we're all at a bar. And he goes, we go on the road with the, this, whatever, but he goes, if you thought that was exciting, and he just started showing us Boko Jr. highlights. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, well, I got to go. Yeah. And so I knew my trip was going down to Buenos Aires. Yeah. And I'm going. I'm for sure going. Yeah, it's, it was the offseason. Oh. Two months, it's 175 degrees every day. Yeah, that's a bummer. Dude, we got to go. I want to go.

I really want to go. I will take a trip down there. I don't know how to get tickets. It's not so easy in Latin America. I believe it isn't. And I also believe we should, like, you know, don't wear a fucking necklace. That's going to be crazy there. But I've heard a lot of stories and I mean, I want to be there for the energy, you know, like for the experience of that. Yeah. Do you remember, I don't know if you remember this.

I remember this a few years ago. They had their like club championship. Okay. So like, you know, they have your season. This was the championship. And on the way to play the championship, fans threw rocks at the players bus and broke the windows. So they were like, we're not playing this game today

because it was like super violent and crazy. And then they played that game. They were like, we're not playing it today. We're going to delay it. They played the final championship game in Madrid. They left the continent to play the game. They're like, it's too. It's too, really?

Too dangerous. They go crazy? Yeah. I mean, that's pretty nuts. Wow. Not like we're going to play it in another city. We're going to play it in Europe because we can't even play it around here. Yeah.

They also, there's a vibe of, I don't know if you got this, of machismo. Yeah. That's there. They do machismo. They do sexy well. I think everyone's pretty sexy. Like men and women carry themselves a certain way. A lot of them dress a certain way.

Yeah. They're like look good and, you know, it's like a way of being that is like, it's like sexy. I don't know how else to say it, right? Like you feel it, that they're like feeling themselves up until they're not even, it doesn't end. They're 70 and they're sexy. Yeah, yeah. I went to this bar. Never going down.

I went to this bar. It doesn't matter than me, but like, oh, if you go, oh, go, it's in Buenos Aires. It was the cool. I went three times. Yeah. Like samba or salsa's playing and I went and I'm like, okay. I went back again. I went with her girl, just a friend,

and they're all dancing the fucking salsa shit. And we were looking just one guy who's like so good. Yeah. And she's like, oh my God. And then that guy's like, you want to dance? She goes, oh, no, I can't. I don't dance. He goes, I want to get into it, but I don't know.

I'll lead you. And she goes, no, I can't dance. And he just turned to me. And he goes, please explain to her that this, she'll never get this opportunity. To be someone like me. Yeah. And I was like, man, I think you should.

should. Yeah. And she did. And it was like, he was just leading her around. It was so fucking cool. It's cool to watch high level. I drink two bottles of wine there. She, they made out just kissed, nothing major. Really? Yeah, yeah. After the dance? Yeah. And then she was like, that's enough. I don't need to like ruin it with sex or anything, but like, but like it was the coolest fucking vibe. Everyone in this bar was so sexy. Yeah. Yeah, they're sexy. Just looking around. Like they're all so much cooler than me. They're so hot. Yeah. I was on a stool drinking wine. And then by the time I got up, when you get two bottles, as soon as you get up, you're like, oh, there it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you about this bar. It was so fucking cool. It was, yeah, there was, I, you know, I befriended this, like, guy who went viral online. Oh, no. Like, because, you know, they have their super fans. Like, the whole country is super fans.

Yeah. And there's a famous one that went super viral, like, more than a decade ago. and this guy is a super fan of River. What do you mean? River is the club team. Okay. So his family set up a camera in the living room,

and they're like, watch him go fucking crazy. And he went bananas because they lost this game, and he was like kicking shit and screaming, losing his absolute fucking mind. Well, it went viral. And I discovered the video, years later, like not even close to when it was, but I was obsessed with it, so I would play it and talk about it,

and then I befriended him. And so, his name, El Tano Pasmund, they call him. And I met him when I went down there, and then I still stay in touch with him. He messages me, and I called him after the semifinal, he was like fucking crying, you know, because of the Argentine win, yeah, yeah. Wow.

But like that level of fandom is just. The vibe here was. here? Yeah. It was, okay, I'm watching at a pub. Yeah. England was up 1-0. It felt like they were down 20 to 1.

Really? It was like, they're all over us. Yeah. You know, just, and then it was inevitable. It was inevitable. You're just like, look, everyone's looking at the clock more than the game. I watched it with my boys here. Yeah.

And like. With a Z or with an S? They're white. S. No, I mean, you know, either you're friends or your kid. No, we're watching. the game and like they're you know I forgot what it's like to be a little kid and watch sports and like have your your so much emotion attached to like a player or something and they were like

we love messy we love messy you know they're like super and so yeah I've seen your room they were like they were like super I was like you know we're pulling and then Christina's like pulling for England. And so we were all like, you're pulling for England? And she was like, yeah. And so it was the three of us for Argentina, her against England, for England. And obviously England's up.

And then when they equalized, we went fucking nuts. And I was convinced, as I probably most of the world was, like, okay, we're going in an extra time. This is going to be maybe we'll end up in penalty kicks. when they scored the second goal I mean I was here obviously and like

you could hear like the air silence you could hear silence you could hear silence and we were screed the kids were screaming and I was I was teaching them like

like la concha de tu maire like how to how to curse and Spanish like them and they were like I like that and I was like yeah that's what you gotta say man and then

it ended and and I was debating because what I told them was like I was like if England wins I'm going to take you outside so you can see it to see how people are going to be because especially that would have been

going to the finals I was like I was like we'll go do that but when England lost I was like I just was as a dad I was like I don't know I was like I don't think we should go walk around I gave you that advice yeah I goes if they win you should go outside and enjoy if England loses

go into your room, padlock the door. How was it? I mean, you were outside. It was such a distressed vibe. Chaos, though, or no? No, it wasn't. It was just disappointed. They're too polite here, I think.

Yeah. But I was in New York with Adrian and Shane when the Knicks won game five, when they won. And then me and Adrian were going to go across to the cellar, from the stand to the cellar. And she was like, let's drive. I'm like, let's walk. And she was like, oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah. And everybody was.

just celebrating and I was just wanted it so bad for here too yeah two more 10 more minutes 12 minutes maybe and then and then another game well they did the thing that like it doesn't even matter the sport right which is like when you're up and you start playing to to to not lose it did minute 55 yeah it's like don't play to not lose yeah play to win yeah and you can see it you can watch you can see it happening yeah messy said like oh we could see it. I was like, oh, they don't want it. Yeah. Take it. They don't want it. Man.

So, did you, when you were there of 22, do you hook up with anybody? No, but what was crazy was this is, the only places ever happened. We joke about this to this day, my mom and I. My mom is She hooked up?

No, but she is. I'm trying to do the math. My mom is like 35. years older than me, right? Okay. So if I'm... 57? Yeah, I'm 22. She's 57, right? Yeah. You know how to do the math that first? No. I put a dollar sign in front of it. Oh, and then it just goes. Yeah. Yeah. Ting, yeah. So, do you hear like jackpot stuff going? Like that? Do that's fine standard. So this had never happened to me anywhere. And it happened for the week that we were there,

every single place was that they thought we were a couple. And that had never... Wow. And I was like, that has to be because of here. Something about being here. She's... Because you're 22. I'm 22. I'm a young guy. I'm a young man.

Right. So it's like... And she's still like 50. So she's not old old. She looks 40. Yeah, she looks good for her age. But they're probably, they're all like, oh, you're with this like young man. And we also don't, like, we have, she's my mom.

We have some similar features. But like, I'm very fair. And she's more olive-skinned, right? Like, I got my dad. complexion, and every place we went, people would be like... Judging. And then I would do this thing where I started to get insecure. I was like, this is my mom.

And they were like, what? They're like, that's my mom. Because they would say things, like, we would go to like dinner and they'd be like, you, boss, and I'm like, my, my mom. And they were like, oh, okay. They were just like, somebody I know. Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?

Well, we went out one time, again, on like some stroll, like part of town. I forget where in Buenos Aires. And a lady at a leather. They'd also have a lot of leather, you know, leather's big there. Uh-huh. I went to some store for like to look for a jacket. And the lady was not as old as my mom, but much older than me. And she asked me out, right?

She asked me to go out with her. And she was like 40. Yeah. But I wasn't into her. Like, this was not a woman that I was, like, attracted to. I wasn't into her. And I said yes, but like, it was like that youthful. You have to.

You don't know how to say no. Yeah, I don't know how to be like, oh, I'm not interested. Or like, I'm, like, say something delicate. Like, I can't. I have plans. So I'm like, yeah. I just say yes. How you know he's not with me?

Yeah. My mom's like, do you just go on? Are you having a date? And I'm like, I guess. I go, but I don't want to go. And all I remember, I don't remember like all the ins and outs, but I remember that I didn't go. And I let her, I forgot if I had a number to call or something. I didn't let her know.

And my mom returned to that store like a couple days later to like get something. And the lady was like, so your son changed his mind, huh? Like called her out. He was pressured him in. He's never wanted it. She's like, he's a kid, you know? He's like 22 years old. But like that to me, what I'll,

I'll never forget is how many people thought we were a couple. Oh, that's disgusting. It was horrible. And it wasn't once or twice. You know what I mean? It was like over and over and over. Dude, in terms of machismo, I was in Mendoza. I was riding horses.

Yeah. Just like an outing. And then afterwards they're going to make us an assato. And they have this like summer wine, which is just like red, what's the Mendoza wine? Was it Malbec? Malbec, yeah. And they just add like, um, It's cold, sparkling water.

Mm-hmm. So it's just like you drink hella. Anyway, I put on some sunglasses. They're green. I'll wear him in the outro. There's green sunglasses. And this guy who's running it just goes... Yeah.

And it was like, what? He's like, he's gay. Oh, look at this guy. This guy's gay. It's not the words he is. But I was like, what? He goes, he was a fucking gay, man. You're a fucking gay guy.

And then he went and got me a... pink, what's a gold hat, goucho hat. Really? And he goes, you put this on. You're gay. Only a gay guy would wear green. Yeah, he was like, you gotta. This is the dude.

He was like, I'll wear, I have a special hat for these gay guys that come. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. I've never met a gay like you before. You're so open about it. That's hilarious. Well, think about how manly he must be, right? Yeah, he was putting him on me.

He was so happy to me. He was so happy. He's like, you're going to take this a beautiful. used right now. How can a gay be here? How can a gay be here? Drinking wine. Did you meet? Was he like a cowboy? Like a real cowboy? Yeah, he was. Yeah. How much manlier

are a cowboys do you think? And I had some matte there and he's like, oh, you're drinking monte. They were all surprised because foreigners don't usually. It tastes like ass. I get it. And he's like, yeah. I was like, some? And he goes, sure. They all, it's such a communal thing that they all, I don't know if you noticed,

they all go to parks. Yeah. Four or five people, one or two of these, just water, keep filling up, pass, take it back. The one, the guy, the Matista, takes it back, fills it, passes it, and you just keep it going around. It's like, you're just. Wait, you didn't say when he was like, you're gay,

you didn't go with, you guys kiss each other. I just lost opportunity. Yeah. And my Spanish was really kicking in, so I really could have. Because I remember learning that and not super young and being like, what do you mean? They're like, you know, the guys do a cheek kiss here. And I was like, stop.

In this macho place? Yeah. One of that's just like normal. I guess if you're not concerned with you're like such a manly man, you're like, well, that doesn't matter. I'm not gay. Yeah. Twitter went from there into Uruguay, which is really the Canada of Argentina.

Yeah. The same, the Choseu's still there. Yeah. The Mothi is still there, but they take it on the move. They like go with them. What did you? What did you, I've never been to Uruguay. I want to go.

What did you pick up on as like, what is there, is there any distinct difference, really? They're deafing the shadow. No offense. Yeah. Definitely the shadow. Yeah, they, I think they all kind of. It's right across a little river. And you can stamp your passport on the Argentinian side.

Like you stamp into Uruguay on the Argentinian side. And it's a little ferry, an hour. And then you're in some like, I forgot, some colonial town. And then an hour bus to Montevideo. Did you go to Punta del Este? You got to the famous beach? No, I went to a beach. So I got a, I started taking a couple years out of this trip.

I started getting recommendations from people. and I figured that was better than Google or anything like that, people would tell you about a place. So if I met like a lifty at a ski resort and they're like, where are you from, like Chile? I'm like, tell me a spot. And they're like, Patagonia. I'm like, no, no, no, no, tell me a cool bar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A spot you go, not like head to Buenos Aires. I know that. It's the fucking thing, too, of all travel, but especially when you go to like, you go to Italy and they're like, go to Rome. You're like, give me the name of a place you'd go to. Yeah, exactly.

I went to one spot, it was the best. Sometimes you go to a spot, you ever go to a restaurant and then it hits a Michelin thing like six months later? Yeah. Too late. Too late. But you had the same meal. Right. You had a Michelin meal.

Yeah, yeah, you did. They didn't change the fucking ingredients, you know? It just got recognized. So one of the first ones I got outside the cellar, this guy was like, yeah, I'm from Uruguay. And he goes, I'm like, what should I do? He goes, there's a beach where there's no power. You got to take a sand dune from the bus stop about 25 minutes to get to this beach. it's all hippies

there's no power everyone gets together for like bonfires at night because there's no lights they have a little bit of solar power now but he goes it's hippies so you can find mushrooms or weed if you need to a bunch of seals out there

I went there but that was my first recommendation that's cool yeah and it was it was the best but but Che went to visit the leader of Uruguay saying would you be part of this revolution I think when he already got to Cuba

He goes, do you want to be part of this? And he goes, hey, I'm not, he was kind of a peacnik guy. And he goes, I'm not telling you if the revolution here will work or won't, you know, like I'm on the people's side. But I'm saying, don't do it during the summer because everyone's going to be at the beach. Yeah. Like, there's been nobody. I went to Montevideo in their summer and it was kind of empty. That's kind of smart recommendation.

Yeah. Yeah. It was do it in the winter. They really know how to do their fucking summers right, dude. Yeah. But they say the CH is too. Only two countries. Sure.

They do the mattee everywhere. If you miss your cup, you just buy a cup. It's... It's... It's actually S-H-H-H-Ber-the-way. It's E-Chos. Yeah. Not E-Chos.

Yeah. You're right. You're right. And you're like... No, I know. It's alarming. At first you're like, what? Shamm-Shah.

But then it's fucking... You're like, it sounds cool. I like it. It sounds so cool. That's why they called Che-C-C-e. Yeah. Because before everyone was traveling, they were like,

why don't talk like that, dude? Yeah. But it's like, standard. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Dude, let's go to a Boker Jr. game. I'm down.

I'm super down, man. We'll find it. It's not every football game I went to. They're like, oh, you got to do facial recognition. It takes weeks to pass through the system. You can't just go get a ticket unless you do like a tourist. I haven't been to a... You can muse your name for sure.

There might be a hook up there. But it might be like we'll just have to sit online and wait and plan our trip around it. We could try. I mean, I went to, for like a big Latin American thing. I went to see Peru play Ecuador when I was in my 20s, which was fucking crazy. Like just the excitement of like national teams. And I remember, I think somebody threw a banana on the field for towards a black player. But you know, things are better.

The classics. The classics. The classics. It's so crazy. It's crazy. Like, why you're bringing a banana? It's like, you know. Like, what?

They're striker. There's crazy, it's crazy, dude. The songs, this was not in Latin America, but when I was in Spain, when I studied in Madrid, you know, for a semester, we would go to this plaza when Real Madrid would win, just for the party. And they won the European Cup when I was there, which was absolute.

They came out with, the riot police came out with water tanks shooting, Ready to knock. Oh, knocking people over. Wow. Because it was that chaotic. But you would learn, you know, they have all these songs and chants. And they would sing the song. They'd go, Oye, listen, your boyfriend's a whore.

They're all chatting. Everyone's screaming. Children there. Yeah. There's children there. Like it's a fucking national anthem. I mean, in Rogan, Brazil. UFC and they had a Brazilian in every fight.

A couple times they fucked up and did Brazilian versus Brazilian, but, but every, and then they started chanting something. It was the craziest one. It was the first one in Brazil. And we're like, what are they chanting? We went to that, the, we went across during like a break to the translator, like, what are they chanting? You're going to die.

You're going to die. Yeah, yeah. Your girlfriend's a horn. Sing it again? What is it? Oye, listen, your novias una puta. I know. Oh, my God. Well, the Argentines, you know, they're also actually famous for many things,

but within the Latin American culture and world, they're famous for their cursing. They actually are, like, it's well known. The alliteration, the... The choice of words and the fact that cursing is part of expression. And happens at every age group. So like old ladies curse. What do you mean? Like an old lady will be like, like a, talking like a legitimate old lady will tell you a story about, you know, it could be about the soccer game and then be like, you know,

barrawa la putta that te pario. Like she's ending it by saying the fucking whore that gave birth to you. But it's not seen as like, oh my God, that's crazy that that lady cursed. It's like it's kind of normal. And it's also like, it's most Latin people that I know find it endearing, colorful, and funny. Yeah. That they curse so much and so theatrically, you know. Like they're all, like, they're making signs.

Like there was, when they won the semifinal, there was flags of the Argentine, there was the Argentine flag that they were holding up in Buenos Aires, and they had written on it, La Concha of Tu Madre, which is like your mother. You know, and it's people... You texted me that. I was like, what is that mean? Yeah, I was like, did you say... I tried to translate without using it.

I was like, did you say your mother, your sister's pussy? Yeah, they say that too, the reputisima conche of your herman. Like, they'll say these crazy colorful curses. And people are just like, oh, yeah, that's an Argentine. Like, Argentines talk like that. They curse a lot. I love that. Puttean.

Puttean is like the act of cursing in your soul. speech. Like, that's puttiano is putteas, you know. It's just colorful. Colorful cursing. God, I love that. God, I love that. And there's a distinct, like, because there's, you know, all the cursing is different, you know, from every country.

I'm sure you picked up on some of that. Yeah. But they curse differently. So, like, in Peru, everyone says, Concha your mother, which is like, it's essentially fuck your mother. That's funny because it's, concha is like alliteration. It's a shell, but like, what it means. Puts your show.

But they're saying it like, Concha to Tu Madre. Like, I'm putting it in there. It's like, it's basically supposed to be like, fuck your mom. Yeah. Or like, they'll say Concha's Sumadre. Or how's the food?

Like la Concha de sui. Yeah. Like the concha de tu man. And then in Argentina, they'll always, they'll say, they don't say it so much like Concha tu Madre

so much as la Concha de tu Madre. You know? The, your mom's pussy. You know, the pussy of your mom's pussy. It's not just a general thing. I want you to know this is about specifically your mom. All of the moms are cool. Did you see that one where like Speed, I Show Speed, the streamer?

Do you know who that is? Well, he's like a very, very famous streamer. Okay. He loves soccer and he's a hard, hardcore Ronaldo fan. Where is he from? He's American. Okay. Speed, you want to come on the podcast, talk about Portugal?

He must have been Portugal. Oh, my God. He's a huge fan. Okay. So one of the storylines of the World Cup has been him as this hard, hard, hardcore, Ronaldo is the best fan, dealing with these sobering effects of Ronaldo being out and messy progressing. And so he's been at like every game. Like the World Cup is like go to, they want him at the game because he has just tens of millions of followers. And he was leaving a game. I think it

was the Egypt game. And he has security. He's leaving and like these Argentine people are like following him and they're like, Speed, they're like, 3 a 1, la concha to your mother. Like, they're just... Three hours, I'm going to fuck your mother? No, 3 to 1. They were saying the score. And then 3 to 1, your mother's...

You know? I mean, he doesn't know what they're saying, but... Oh my. Yeah. I do want to talk about this because it's interesting about Argentina that I noticed. So I'm on the the cartels, shall change into Ruta Quenta.

Mm-hmm. Saw some, like, match. I mean, dude, that's Another one, even maybe take your kids. Get a camper van. If you can stand it. It's up to a... Which, where?

In the south? All of it. You just go one direction. Oh, yeah. A lot of them, like, go here and come back here. You pay a little more, and it's like, go and drop it off there, cook your own meals. But then it's like, you'll find, like... So I was in Argentinian in Patagonia.

I saw a fence kind of down, and I was like, oh, fuck it. And I just, I'm driving through dirt roads in between canyons, and I'm just... Overnight. And I'm just, like, abandoned canyon in the middle of nowhere. Puma poop outside my camper in the morning with like fur in it. It was, it's just so magical. Yeah. But even way up there, you start seeing the signs, Las Malvinas don't Argentina.

Yeah, yeah. They care about these, about these Falklands. Yeah, that's a big one. And that obviously came right back into like the conversation with this match with like England, Argentina. Uh-huh. I mean, that whole history is, I don't know, do you know the story? I started looking into it. Do you know?

I know some of it. So, like, you know, the English had it. French were there for a minute. I mean, this is 900 kilometers north of where the dock would go to, go to, you know. Yeah. And they're already starting. And I'm like, what does this mean? I started seeing more and more of those signs. Yeah, it's about 300 miles off the coast.

I know that then the Spanish had it. And then I think Argentina's position is that they inherited it when they got their independence from Spain. Okay. I think, I think, I might be incorrect, but I think that's the position is like Spain had this, we got our independence from Spain. That's ours. That's our, I think. And then the English were like, well, we were there before that.

and it might be close to you guys, but it's a sovereign territory, and it's ours. And it kind of sat that way, obviously, for like a long time. I mean, like the 1830s would have been like kind of around when I think Argentina's first laying claim for it. And then they invade 1982. And, yeah, it was, you know, it was short but bloody. A lot of people died.

Not that many people live there. No, today there's like, 4,000 residents. Right. So just I'll step in where I've heard things. And I definitely was getting this story from Argentina. But it's fun when you're in a country, you're like, let me research this thing.

Well, I'm here. Me and Bob who were researching the JFK stuff while in Cuba. We're like, actually, I'm starting to see more. I'm seeing where the guns are. Yeah. They aren't attacking anybody. Those are just fighting people off a little bit. So like, let's research it.

So I'm researching that. And it's, it seemed like, well, they think it's ours. It's been ours. We have our residents. We have a governor there. We have whatever. Then England was like, well, we want it. And they went in and they just said, you guys, I'll get out.

Here's your trips back. Yeah, yeah. And then Argentina's like, I don't abide by that, but we can't fight you. You have the greatest naval power in the world at the time. And it was like, there's no way we can get you out of here. But those are ours. And they kept, to this day, electing a governor and a mayor. They're like, it's ours.

We're going to have elections. So they have a senator who runs, he does nothing. And then we can't do anything. And then Margaret Thatcher was like, I'm going to start giving this back. It's bad press, whatever. And her husband was like, well, I have a lot of business dealings there. Actually, don't do that. And so she just said, okay, I'm not doing.

Whoever said we're going to give it back? She goes, actually, that's Knicks now. So then they went and said, well, we're taking it back. Surprise attack was very bloody. England's stance was, well, we had an election, and they said they all wanted to be here. It also helped. To this day, I know that the residents identify as British. Yeah.

Still to this day. But if you took over Maine, if Spain took over Maine, kicked everyone out and put Spanish people there, and then had an election, yeah, Spain would win. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's the same thing with Ireland. I know that, like, Margaret Thatcher's popularity skyrocketed when she, like... Did you give it back? When she sent the military. Well, so then it was, I'm sure, British machismo.

So then they went in, not surprised at that, but they went and took it. It was bloody. They fought back some and killed a lot of people, took the rest prisoner. And then England's like, we can't. No way. You can't do that to us. Yeah. So right or wrong, you can't do that.

So they went in and just bloodily took it back. So they only had it for a short time, I think under a year, maybe even under a couple of months. Who had it for a short time? Argentina. Oh, yeah. I mean, I know that to this, I mean, obviously, like, that that was 82. Yeah. There was a lot of, like, that was 82 when the war happened.

So I'm about 44 years later, they're still like, it's ours. Oh, yeah. We just can't take it back. And that was like there was a lot of drama associated with 86 when Argentina and England faced each other. That was Maradonna. When they faced in the semifinal. And then, and then Argentina went on to win, you know. Like that game.

and the cup and there was a lot of like emotion attached in that game to like the falclin yeah yeah yeah wow yeah well they said let less Maldivas what is it las malvinas malvina I was like the Maldives I had to look it up yeah they have a different yeah yeah um pretty crazy yeah so what are you going to do when you go back to argentina yeah and what did you do this time when you were an adult now and you went it was pretty it was I mean it was on tour, right? And it wasn't for like... So how long were you there? A few days. Just a few days. Not much. Went to a steakhouse. I went to

Don Julio, which is like... Me too. It was just, I'm fucking unbelievable. Do you know what happened there too? I went with my tour manager. Bless his heart at the time. You shoot your pants? No. Dude. Yeah. I always busted his balls about this. So he's okay with me, I think,

ripping him about this. Everywhere. Well, well before we went to Argentina. Every time we were on the road and getting steak, he would ask for his steak, butterflied. So, you know, that's when you think of a thick steak, you cut it and then flip it open, like a butterfly. Okay. And well done.

This is Denny's? I, bro. And this was all over, and I would always bust his balls. And sometimes we'd be at like some super nice place, and they'd be like, we have authentic Japanese, a-fi, Wagyu, and I would go, don't do this. You can't. Don't do it.

And he'd be like, I won't know. So we're in Don Julio, which for people that don't know, is like the one of the premier steak. Some people call it the best steakhouse in the world. It's a tough thing because how do you just think different? I know. But like. But it's up there. My brother when I was going.

If you don't know Argentina is famous for meat and steak, it's definitely like one of the, like you, if you're in Latin America, you go, where's the best steak? people say Argentina, right? And then in Argentina, in Buenos Aires, Don Julio is famous. That's the premier spot. So we get a reservation, which is not easy to get a res there like on a... I tried everything I could. I tried doing the thing where I go, I'm a visiting comedian. It helped me and Bobby get a denoma.

Yeah. Like, hey, I just want to say hi. We're visiting comedians. I just want to see the place anyway. Like, ooh, and they got us in the wait list. Tried that. Nothing. It worked in Sao Paulo.

It did. It's one restaurant, nice, that Hoffie. told me about. Yeah. And he was like, try there. They're like, no, it's week out. Absolutely not. It's everything sold out.

I was like, oh, okay, my friend, Hoffie Basso told me like 7 o'clock, table four. Wow. And I was like, oh. Yeah. Yeah. But I tried everything there and they go, there's a wait list. Yeah. Every day.

And every day I'd show up at 10, waited for an hour and a half. And they go, not today. I think to Dave's credit, he, I think he did say we're visiting, touring, performing, and that that helped us get in to Don Julio. You got to try waiting. advanced too. He probably did that. Well, we get, we get seated. You know, this is like the guys. Inside or outside. Inside. We sat in 98 degree heat

sitting outside with a fan that they kept turning away from us. It was like still worth it. These guys, you know, the guys are in bow ties. It's like really cool atmosphere. You see the open grill, right? Anyway, we sit down, get a glass of wine. And the waiter comes over and order stakes. And then I explain that he would like his butterflyed and well done.

And I see the server go like, what? What's word for butterfly in Spanish? Mariposa. Mariposa. Like mariposa and he's like, okay. So. Bueno cozenaro?

Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, he's like, okay. So they bring the stakes, right? I have mine like a normal person, medium rare, and here's his. So he takes his first bite and he goes, no, I'm not going to work for me. And I'm like, I'm like in dying inside, I'm like, please. Do not.

Please. He's like, can't, can't do this. So I'm like, all right. It's not me. I'm just, I'm fine. So I go, the guy comes over. I was like, you're translating for him. I'm translating for him.

To even involve you is rude. So he's like, yes, you know. I'm like, he would like it even more cooked. And the guy, literally, he goes, like, he just gestures, like, what do you mean? You know? And then because I'm translating, I insult him, you know? Assault your friend. Yes.

I go, lo what happens is that is an wue, is a tonto, taro, mental. And then he's like, okay. So he takes it. That's the best way to handle it. And then he's like, what did you say? I just told him how you like. He's like, okay. He takes it.

And I told him, I was like, Lo Kiki, chemo. And he was like, why would you want it burned? I'm like, that's how he eats it. And basically he's like, why are you here? Yeah. So he goes, he does it like that. He brings it back.

And he's like, here's this thing. I've never served this like this before. And my guide takes a bite. He was like, perfect. And the guy's like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's how he likes it. And I was like, dude. Yeah, it was crazy.

I remember being in, do you remember Lalaz? What is that? Lalaz is the Argentine Steakhouse in L.A. Yeah. There's like a couple of them. There's a few. I think there's one on Melrose. Oh, yeah.

You know, there's like three or four locations, I think. Yeah, that was really good. I took a thing there. Yeah. I used to go there, like, regularly. Uh-huh. especially like 05 through let's say 2010 or 12 you know I mean that bond whatever but I used to go somewhat frequently so one of those times my parents were in town we go to la las Argentine steakhouse for people

don't know in LA pretty accessible too it's not like it's not crazy price it's not super crazy price yeah we're sitting there and my dad who I used to I used to bust his balls all the time because everywhere we would go, he would ask for A1, right? And we're at the, we're at La La Laos. They serve the stakes and my dad's like, can I get some A1? And the guy's like, he leaves. And then a new guy comes, like a different guy. You made him quit?

A guy who's not dressed like the waiter. And I realized, oh, this is the manager slash, slash owner. And he goes, he comes over, he goes, is there a problem? He has the accent. He's like, is there a problem with the steak? And my dad goes, no? He goes, you want A1 to ruin the steak?

Like that. And my dad goes, mm-hmm. To his credit, he's just like, I don't care what you think, you know? That's what I like. Yeah, I was like, I was more, I was just like, dude. But he was like, that's what I want. And I'm like, sure. I would bust my dad's balls for the rest of his life like this.

And one time I remember I took him to like a fancy steakhouse, like a real, like where it's like $200 steaks, you know? Yeah. And I'm like, all right, we order steak. And he goes, hey, guess what? I go, what? He goes, I'm not even going to order A1 here. I go, thank you so much, man.

Like, thank you so much. I already know the ending. It's like, it's so embarrassing. No, no, he actually, to his credit, he took a bite and he goes, it actually doesn't need it. I go, yeah, this is great. This is a great place. The meat, you can actually taste the meat. You don't have to douse it in that.

Oh, I thought he was going to be like. No, I know. But then, like, when he died, you have that thing, you're like, you go, I just should have let him enjoy A1. That's what he liked. I do know there's a lot of chefs who are like, they're like, you can't put salt on it. whatever, but they have the salt on the table. And the chefs are like, no, no, this is

standard, you do it how you want. Or like, don't put a rock and scotch. Like, no, you do it how you want it. It's the taste. I used to like, you know what I used to like I won with was just like rice, like put it on, like, because it would soak up the rice would soak it up. And I would even do

it rice on eggs and rice and put a little A1. I would mix that up. So I'll always have this. That's why I say Denny's. I was at Bullies in San Diego with Freddy's Soto. Yeah. He would take us.

He was like, this is a great steakhouse. Let me take you. And I say, like, how do you want? I go, well done. He goes, hold on one second. And he goes, no. And I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, bro, this isn't Denny's.

Yeah, yeah. And so now whenever you go, how do you want that? You go medium rare. There's a level of you're cool from the waiter. Like, definitely. You get it. Yeah, yeah. A hundred percent.

Same with salmon, by the way. When you order salmon at a place that, like, is good. And you're like, medium rare, they're like, you're a gentleman. Yeah, you're a gentleman. Okay, this guy gets it. Hey, don't spit in this one. This guy likes salmon. Uh-huh.

Yeah. It's also like, by the way, the price on Don Julio. I don't remember. Not much. No, it wasn't? We all had two glasses of wine each. A couple people had like, Apparel spritz on top of that. Tons of meats.

And he was like, you definitely want to get the fries. We're known for him. Like, okay, the steak fries. It ended up being like 70 bucks a person. That's not crazy. And there was no like, I want more. It was like, oh, my God, it took some to go. Well, compared to.

London. Oh, forget it, dude. I took the boys to a nice steakhouse last night, and we had a big steak, a couple appetizers, three desserts. They drink water. Yeah, right. It was 1,700 pounds. Whenever I see a child in a nice place, I'm like, what do you do?

Or at the World Cup. Those tickets are I granted. This kid's a baby? Yeah. What are you doing? I know. Get a sitter. It's crazy.

All right. That's the episode. Yeah, dude, nice seeing you out here. Nice seeing you too, man. It's weird to run into you in London. I know, it's cool. I can't find an apartment. It's fucking, it's not been great so far.

Thanks for setting up stand-up. You're welcome. That was fucking... Do you see where I'm here now? The challenge? Yeah. Did you see the challenge? Yes.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a different thing. You know what's so funny? It's a different thing. I don't know if I got to this week. I got so many messages about that set about both sets.

Interesting. People were like, that was awesome. That crowd was rubbish and this and I was like, oh. But what was funny was, you know, my tour ended in December. Yeah. I went right into bad thoughts. So I, the longest I've ever gone. Emmy nominated bad thoughts.

Thanks, buddy. It's our first Emmy nominee I've had on the podcast in the midst of a nomination. Thanks, buddy. I've had a silver medalist. Fuck that. No, you got to. Emmy nominee. Emmy nominee.

me. But so I started doing stand-up again, really in March. And you know, you start over. You're like five minutes at a time, ten minutes. Then two weeks ago, I go to Oxnard. And it's loose, but I do an hour a night. I do an hour of like, you know, it's not tight, but you're like, oh, I'm built. Like, you're like, you get some confidence.

You're like, these are a couple bits, you know, really work. Some are on their way. But I'm like, I open those shows with the same, those four shows with the same joke. and it like crushes, which is always like a good way to like go into your set. It came out of the gates. It was like Bill Burrs.

So I'm getting a gun. Louis N-Word thing. You're just like right away. Jim Jeffries. Bill Cosby. Yeah, it's like you're right in it. Right in it. And I was like, oh, this feels good.

And so I was like, I'll do that same joke here. I did two shows here. And to say that it was different, it was utter and complete silence. Like, and. And even I would say I would add some gasps, like gasping. And I was like, oh. And they were stoked when you went on.

Yeah. They go six Netflix. And they're like, I don't know who's had one. Like, wait, what? This is a major person. And people were like, yes, fucking yes. And then, oh. It was, yeah, and I was like, oh.

But it's like you were Amy Winehouse full drugged out. They're like, oh, Amy Wine. They, but then the thing is, like, I think I told you. you was like it, you really feel like you're doing a work set, like a productive work set. And the two sets were really interesting because the downstairs, I was like, I felt like they were reluctantly, like they would laugh against their own, which always feels good. You're like, this person right here doesn't even like me and they're laughing. So you're like, you're really grinding out your laughs. And I thought I was done. And they go, oh, go upstairs, do a set there. And I was like, okay.

and that room had to me felt like there were eight people enjoying it and the rest That's a harder room. That was hard. And the rest of them were like, what is this? What are you saying right now? Like, so I went on later because I just came to keep your company, whatever, and I was like, it's late. Don't worry about me. I'll get on another time because now you came down here, go on.

Downstairs, upstairs, great set downstairs, but I've been here. I've been doing set. So I'm starting to get it. To get it, yeah. And then upstairs it was that. It was like, oh, and I had a guy go, dude, that was awesome. London crowds, bro. Sorry.

And it was like, what, did a 9-11 joke? And they were like, no. Oh, yeah. I think we're just, well, like, same language, but like. There's. Yeah, you culturally have different things to deal with. But the jumping off grounds is like, I mean, we're not in the same. And also, I should say, like, that host was killing.

Josephine? She was killing. She was killing and she was like, let's fucking keep this shit. And they were like, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't like they wasn't set up wrong. No. It was set up break. And I was like, all right.

Dude, last time I was here, I had it set so bad. It was like the last set I had where I was like, what am I doing? Maybe I should not be doing this. It was like four or five years ago. And then I met a guy, Kyle Legacy someone who would set it up. He goes, I felt bad for him. It was like some like civic servants. Yeah.

I was just looking for spots. I left in the. the drizzle at home, walking home, going, what am I doing my life? What did you think you figured out from doing the set so far where you're like, I've figured it out? I'm like, what do you think you figured out? I want to keep going at them. Keep going.

I want to keep going at them. I don't want to like start pandering to them. I want to do what I assume Patrice did here and Stanhope did here. It was like, you're going to catch up to me. I'm not going to. I'll learn how to smile a little bit or say something. But there's some things where it's like they just don't get. So, Oriental or Asian here means Indian.

Ah. So that's just a translation thing. Right. So if you, Asian drivers are like, that's not a stereotype. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to do like, I forget what they call it Chinese, but like. You could literally say Chinese. Chinese drivers.

And like, okay, it's wrong, but I get it. And also, they're way further away from slavery. Yeah, yeah. Way further away from segregation. So it's just not as on their minds. The trans stuff is like, they're like, oh, we don't even talk. We're fine with everybody here. We don't even talk about that as if it's a still a thing.

That's still a thing. And it's not far enough removed. Like when Fultron used to do jokes about Karate Kid, it was so far past Karate Kid, it was comical. Yeah, yeah. So you have a window of, I can do this joke about Karate Kid for a year, and then not for 20 years. And then again, you're like,

you know my problem with Karate Kid, like Karate Kid. So it's not far enough away where, so you've got to, it's a different cross your teeth and dot your eyes. Different, yeah. I mean, there was, I think both shows. I had people in the front who I would look at, And they were like this. Yeah.

There's a younger crowd too there at Top Secret. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. You're going to do more spots? I'd like to do a couple more, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if they'll go any differently, but I'll do it again.

It's fun. It's not your audience. Yeah. A couple people are like, oh, sick, but they don't know anything about you. Yeah. And so they don't know, like, well, you're definitely not this guy, so you're playing against it. Yeah. If a black guy goes up and goes, I think we should bring slavery back.

Yeah, yeah. Obviously, you don't think this so we can go with you on how we can do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Robbie Hoffman talks about non-binary people, it's like, oh, you're definitely on their side. Right. So you're shitting on them is okay. Totally. There's no question that you're on their side.

Which is a good, I mean, that's something we all understand. Yeah. And that it's just like. Like when Bert talks about fat people, you're like, it's fine. Oh, it's fine for you because you've actually never gone more than a week under obese. Yeah. You're 340 pounds usually. Usually 340.

Yeah. I think it got under 300 ones, but then they were like, no, part of your toe fat is coming off the scale. Yeah, yeah. It's not fully weighing. And also, he's like super medicated right now. He's like, I'm about three years off my meds and you're like, that's going to shoot you up right back up. It's so much meds. That's part of his weight.

It's the amount of pills. Sure. That's 10 pounds of pills every day. Everybody go watch. Bad thoughts. I have not seen this season yet. Last season fucking crushed. Thanks, man.

I talked to so glad you hired him. Alex English. Oh, my God. He told me he wrote for it. I was like, you got out of SNL, and he goes, oh, yeah, and this set me free. Oh, yeah. He goes, I pitched a slave owner sketch. Yeah, yeah.

And then Tom was like, sick, you're hired. Oh, his, it was so good. And it's in the show. Yeah. It's so funny. It's like one of the best. And he goes, I could, there's not even a question I'm getting out of SNL. Zero chance.

Yeah. Same with Tim Robinson with the weird stuff. Yeah. But I always, one thing I was liked about you, and maybe it's because you're Latino. Is that what you call it? I guess. Or whatever. Is you really don't care about any of the checkboxes,

but you're not against any of them. You're just like, sick sketch, please write for me. Yeah. And you're almost like, don't see race or gender in any way. I just wanted the best. And you've always done that. Yeah. Where it's like you're funny.

You're funny. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly the, I think that's the way to do it. Which is why I'll continue to say you should start a channel. YMH should be a channel. Yeah, yeah. People go, go, we don't care about any of that.

There will be all of that, but we don't care about it. Just bring us something funny. Bring it funny. Yeah. That is the truth. And then as a final point also, thank you for that. And I hope you watch bad thoughts. I love Argentina.

I love the country. Like I said, the people, the food, the culture. I could not be a bigger fan. And I highly recommend if you are considering traveling, I think it's a great, a great time to go. It's awesome. They're awesome. Yeah. And then one thing to look for if you're driving it is every once in a while,

there'll be a bridge named after somebody or something like that or like a little side street number for that. The German names and then you look up, they're like, he moved here in the early 40s. We saw it was like a helmet pumperdinkle bridge. I'm like, who's this guy? There's a couple German villages still. There's like small enclaves that are like fully German.

You're like, when that come about? Yeah. Like, well, 46. So interesting. Cool. Yeah, they had one scientist with them, nuclear scientists, and they were welcomed in. One out in tightens, yeah. Tom, thank you very much.

Everybody, go watch them on the end. Yeah. Yeah, biomachstudios.com slash the end, and that's it, buddy. I love you. Love you, too. Bye, guys. Okay.