You Be Trippin' - Ari Shaffir's Epic Journey: The Day I Left w/Guest Host Ari Matti | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

Follow Ari Matti on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/arimatticomedy/ On this week's episode of You Be Trippin, Ari Matti sits down with Ari Shaffir to talk about his upcoming 6+ month backpacking trip from Mexico through Central and South America, hitting Guatemala, El Salvador, Colombia, Peru, Chile, and beyond. They get into everything from his route and packing list to the chicharrón, carne, and cuy he can't wait to try, plus all the extracurriculars and nightlife he's got planned along the way. Shaffir breaks down what's actually got him nervous while Matti does his absolute best to hold the interview together and fails. ¡Hasta pronto! You Be Trippin' Ep. 110 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro - Ari's Gon' Backpacking 00:04:42 - First Stop, Mexico 00:16:53 - The Rest of Central/South America 00:24:06 - Trippy Trip 00:40:10 - Chasing Summer & Safety 00:48:35 - Travel Anxieties 00:53:22 - How to Pack 01:06:46 - Worst Case Scenario 01:16:02 - Best Parts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet, from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. Where you've been and where you're going? This is our East Travel Show, yeah. We're going to talk about travel today.

It's you. Welcome to You Be Tripping, everybody. This is a travel podcast. every week I go to a different place pretty much once in a while we do a theme episode my guest interviewer today co-host

your host my host today two bears is no more Tom Sagar and Bert yeah the unfortunate double heart attack having happened just last week Bert's obviously from fatness Tom from an overdose in ayahuasca and now they're both gone

along with the Kings and we're back we're back Ari squared. So I'm taking this trip. That's what we're going to do this episode. I'm taking this backpacking trip. Ari's been on this podcast before. He did a visas episode.

So this is going to be a two-parter. I'm planning this backpacking trip, which you've done on a larger scale. No, we've both backpacked through the same locations. I haven't done Latin America either. Yeah. Like properly. Yeah.

So I'm doing this. So let's talk about what I want to do. is talk about what I'm planning, and then we'll do another one when I get back. That's awesome. Talk about kind of what happened. Wait, give me the parameters. Everyone's telling me different stories.

One guy's telling me you're going to be for 10 years in Guatemala. 10 years in Guatemala. Tell me the time frame. Well, what else are people saying? Oh, yeah, I was telling him about before we started the cameras. Massive side bets. New York is super skeptical scene. They think you're back by the end of the summer.

Like people are super skeptical. By the end of the summer? Yeah. Then there's over and there's under's on whether you'll visit for a second. There's side bets, you know. That's where I'm banking. I don't think you'll break. I believe in you.

Once I'm gone, I'm gone. I mean, on the backpacking trip? I don't want to come back in the middle of it. Okay, so what's the time frame? So I've heard different stories.

What have you heard? And then I'll tell you. Well, yeah, it's like one year and then you're moving to London to start an art degree. Then I've heard one about you're going to start a new festival in Dublin, in Dublin, Ireland. Yeah.

Then I heard a DMT clinic in Lake Atilanti, Guatemala. Like Atiati, what do you call it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ati-Lanthew, what the fuck. I'm going till late February, early March, backpacking through South America. See, that's what I'm saying. You're going to do that. That's not even a year.

That's literally like seven months. Seven, eight months. Yeah. Which, to be fair, in terms of like show business is just like any other job that, you know, it's not a lot of people can just take seven months. months off, so it is a risk. So that's why the skepticism is what in. Yeah, when you're talking to people who are like,

you can't go more than a week. What do you go for, and so they can't even comprehend it. You can comprehend it. Yeah, but I also have that ditch. Like, even for me, whenever I travel, like, every year I do this where I go, next summer, four months in Brazil, I'll do Jujitsu and I'll only speak Portuguese, you know.

That's my, but then you start doing gigs and stand up, it always. Yeah, life, you ever see, Revolutionary Road? Never. The most depressing movie I've ever seen. It's about just like lost dreams and like not always wanted to move to Paris, never got that. I got a promotion, maybe next week, we'll do it next year, we've got to do this, and then it just doesn't come to fruition.

And it's so sad to see your life just go away. But tell me about this. I met the guy who, Sam Mendes, who is it? I met the director on an interview once on an audition. And he was like, wait, I know your name. What have you done? And he said, I'm like, oh, bro, you sent me into a five-year depression. Like, legitimately wanted to kill myself because of you.

Also, if a movie makes you want to kill yourself. Is it a Sam Mandis? Who did Revolutionary Road? Okay, so what? So, what were you saying? I don't know. Okay. So this is the trip.

Oh, so seven months I get it, but the each of stand, I don't know. Maybe for, no, it's hard to carve out the time. It's hard to carve out of the time, for sure. but like you can carve it out. 100%. And I do get, dude, when you start telling me this plan,

I started planning shit, I'm excited. Because I don't have to go to the map until I reference it, by the way, BTW. I totally want to do shit like this too. And Latin America

just was the next plan for me too. And just before we started recording at all the places to go first. In Latin America, we're going to the same town. That's where I'm going to start. It's so funny.

So my thought was, I want to do, I'm kind of a hippie, I was going to do solstice to solstice. You know what solstice is? Like, get there, get there with your words. It's like, solstice is like midsummer to midsummer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the longest day of the year. Exactly.

Okay, so now you can go to the map now. Huge in Estonia, by the way. So I want to do this, the highest point in North America. Ucviagvik, also known as Baro. Also known as Barrow. Also known as Barro. What? also known as Alaska.

Also known as Alaska. 24 hours of sunlight. Yeah. Did that already. That's in Estonia and Finland too. It just happened. They have it 24 hours though? Yeah, yeah.

We have a, it's midsummer, yeah. Does it, how high does it get? Is the same? No, we're not that high. It's close. It is. No, no, no, we have. That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Oh, I'll do that next year. And then I grew up in northern Finland where there's a month of that, you know? That's where people go insane. Yeah, they have it here too. Two and a half months. People go insane. People are going insane in America too.

There's a lot of insanity here in Austin. Okay, and then I want to go all the way to the tip here. What? So this is six months? Well, yeah. But I have to skip some because I'm, well, I'm skipping all of Canada. I'm skipping all of United States and half of Mexico. And then I can see a kilton in the middle.

Okay, here we go. This is where the plan starts falling apart. No, I mean, I'm, okay. This is what the comedians are talking about now. Okay. Correct me anywhere. So this is where I'm starting. This is where I want to start.

in near wahaka but in this bay of beaches called watulka so you want to go to puerto is the tourist spot so i don't want to do that so you want to do that met metz mezcala where the fuck oh zipolita yeah zipalite okay there's this mazumte yeah mazonte is the one is it with the nudis i think the other one is the one with the nudist play zipolita so these are all like bays yeah um that's where i'm going yeah there's a bunch of them there's There's also an airport right here. Watulco Airport. Yeah, so I'm going to fly there and all these are like 20 minutes away.

I don't know how you get when you land in a foreign place. I get scared. What do you mean? If outsiders, like, they're going to rob me or like hustle me or whatever. Until I get to my hotel and like get set and I'm like, let me take a walk around. First day I'm like frightened. I don't want to land somewhere at night. Is it like an American thing that they all tell you how the outside world is trying to kill you, get you and everything?

Yeah. It did, by the way. I've known a lot of people that Americans, the first time they leave somewhere, they literally think it's like fucking, like some fucking Arnold, what's the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where it goes into fucking Colombia?

Collateral? Collateral? Collateral? Collateral? Collateral? You got to blow up a fucking. Anyway, it's like around there. So I want to just go to one of these beaches.

And I'm going to, here's my plan. Go to the nudist one and show you. I'll go to the nudist one for sure. Because, dude, listen, everyone is turned on by nudity, but no one's seen balls like mine. So it shocks them. They're already going like, I'm going to see some new. You have a range of what you expect, you know, and then you see these fucking clackers, these knee clackers. And they're like, what?

Yeah, I try to mix it up. So you want to shock people. Yeah. Yeah, that's the plan. I'll start there. That's so funny. That's literally what I've been researching for the past like two weeks. That's so funny.

That's one of the places you think are gone. Out of all the places, yeah. Wow. So that book vagabonding up there, he talks about it when you start traveling. He says, get thee to a beach. And I've never done it before, but that's what I want to do. Wait, say it again? Get to a beach.

Yeah. Oh, dude, that's all you want. Why? I don't know. I'm a big ocean guy myself too. I think just for the relaxing feel, just for like the lack of time. I'm going to clear my head of all the... responsibilities here and all the fucking,

I gotta do this, I gotta do that out of time. Like move, move, you gotta move, you gotta move, pacing. The last break I took was maybe three years ago, I took three months in Thailand, and bro, something went awry. Oh, it's this? Yeah, that's the one.

This is the airport, yeah. I just couldn't stop thinking about stand-up, so something, and I was just stressed. What do you mean? I don't know, I went for like three months, I was, maybe I lasted for two months. I did like a month in Thailand, and then a month in, fuck, in Australia.

was this? It was like three years ago. That was my last like one that I did like that where I'm just planning. And how long did it take you to feel like disconnected? There were stretches. It just keeps coming. It's it goes in and out, you know. And it was just hard. I also did a dramatic mistake of like having all these devices near me, you know, I would still say a nice resource that had Wi-Fi. I would make it convenient. I didn't take enough chances, you know. Yeah. Okay. So that's what I'm doing. it get a new phone dude but Mexico's the nice start yeah nice beats relax lower the blood pressure breathe some ocean air yeah get a nice fucking

Mexican torta bring you a little Corona yeah you're on the beach you know no no it's like a random it's a misprint yeah that's a fucking scam they're like yeah we're here come check us come get it come get us come get us oh no picture sorry one review one review sports club this place Maybe close. Oh, yeah, I can confirm that. They're literally selling organs and children. So you get a nice beer.

A serva. One serevesta, por favor. You get maybe a taco that's not the most ethnic taco, but they'll meet you halfway. It'll be a little westernized. But this isn't, listen, there's one place down here that's for tourists and there's like eight places that is not for tourists. We're talking about you're going to do Latin America.

You're going to do the jungle in Colombia. So this is what we're referencing to. I'm saying this is a nice crossover from a white western set. So you need that. That's a great idea. I love that. I do that too. Like when I went to fucking all of those towns near Tulum, you know, just to fucking visit those, I did that same.

You go to Cancun for two days, just to relax. Yeah. You know. Hey guys, breaking into today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest Ari Matty. He is a non-citizen. and I believe should be deported. All of his friends voted for Donald Trump in order to get him deported as a great prank.

And so far, Trump has not followed through in his promise with Ari Matty. So he's still here. And he's in Brookfield, Wisconsin this weekend. March 19th through the 21st, then Brea, California at the improv. Headliner. Look at this guy with his website.

It still sucks. I forgot if this is number four. He is the worst headline. Headliner? Oh, because he has killers of kill Tony. Just put your dates, idiot. El Paso, Texas, San Antonio, Texas, Salt Lake City, Denver, Colorado, Nashville, Tennessee, West Hollywood, California at the Comedy Store, and Austin, Texas at the Comedy Mothership. Well, he's a headliner, apparently.

Get all tickets at Ari Mati.com, A-R-I, just like my name, M-A-T-T-I.com. Oh, and then La Jolla, California. Well, okay. He's also on Instagram at Ari Mati Comedy. follow him on there as he makes his journey back to wherever the fuck country is once Donald Trump gets off his goddamn ass and gets rid of this guy so I can be back

as the number one Aryan comedy that's it guys I'm about to leave let's get back to the episode me and my incredible kind of nerve-wracking journey into the south let's go yeah when I started in Myanmar I was like hotel one night

and then like now let me go But let me get in, let me get safe, okay, make my bed, whatever, and then like cool. So what I think I'm going to do is, this is the only one I'm going to get ahead of time, a hotel waiting for me for five days. Not a crazy nice one, but a nice enough one. That's exactly what I'm doing. And so I can land and say, I'm going to this hotel, it's already set, put my bag down and not like, oh, are you full or whatever?

Dude, when you land at the airport and someone's waiting for you, like this. Oh, some little Mexican guy with a sign, Oh! You watch all the other tourists they're all, you know, because it's all scams, you know, Mr. Mister, Mister, MISTA, MISTA, you to death. All these tourists, you know,

Ha! Yeah. Because you don't know what is a scam, what is not. MISTER now, drive, Mr. Don't MISTER. You go into a fucking van, they go straight,

sell your organs in Pescom, you know what I'll do sometimes? You know what I'll do sometimes, when the airplane gets off, everybody goes and then goes out the double doors into the Mr. Misters. I'll stay inside and I'll wait for a while. I'll let them all blow out.

Then they're all gone. No plane just landed. I'm waiting there for 35, 40 minutes. They all clear out. Now I'm clean of the Mistas. No, I've come out. But you know what happens now all the time. They already know that is.

So what happens is you go fuck some first Mista Mista. You go fuck you. You act like you know what I'm doing here. And then 45 minutes, I go Mista. I go back to him. Hey, are you the Mista guy? I really actually do need a cab. I've had that so many times.

I had that happen in Cancun where I'm like $100 dollars downtown. Get the fuck. Get the fuck. Fuck out of my way! And then you can't exit the airport. There's like a closed area in Cancun where they don't let you out. And they're like, oh no, it's 100 bucks.

No, no, they're like, yeah, this is, because that's how, that's the system. Fuck. Anyway, so I'm going to go there for, I've decided, until I feel relaxed. I already see a hotel you've Google. I've Google that one too. It's a nice, the Barcelona Hotel.

Over here? It is, oh, you mean down there? Okay. I don't know. I've Google that Barcelona hotel. Where, where? Borselo. Because it's so close to the fucking, you get straight

there look yeah look you can right from here wait and then there's a second airport yeah this one is like with a propeller and it's actually the cellular organs it's also it's this one and so you can go down through here or you can go around through there so the Barcello and you have right there you have this

like nature area which is also cool anyway whatever I'm gonna stay there I'm not looking to see anything or do anything you know that thing that Americans have of like oh what should we do on this trip I want to rid myself of that I've never been that you're not American it gives me so much fucking anxiety.

Yeah. But I do plan a little. Like, I just love looking at the vibes. Yeah, you want to see what's available should I want to do this. Yeah. But not like, I made a reservation at this restaurant. I made snorkeling reservations for this time. I don't want to do any either.

But you never really know, you know. Sometimes people like even with, even with the Kankoon, I remember people were like, that's the most touristy place ever. Yeah. But I went like an hour out and chill. To the sonotes? Yeah. So you never know.

Anyway, okay, so you land here, so what's the plan next? So then from there, I'm going to go into Oaxaca. Once I feel relaxed, between three and 15 days, I don't know. With the new highway, with the new highway. Heard about this place? Oh, no, somebody told him about that. So here's what I've been doing. So you mentioned the dots on the map, right?

I did mention the dots on the map. Before we started. Here's why I have those. Every time I've talked to anyone in the last two years, which I knew I was doing this trip, from anywhere there, I say, give me a recommendation. Give me your favorite bar in your town.

Okay. Give me a fucking cool hike. Okay. Because everybody's like, well, Buenos Aires. I'm like, I know. I know. Maybe from there. What's your favorite bar?

And they go, oh, this place has Tuesdays where they have two margarita Tuesdays. I'm like, okay. Okay. I'll mark that down. And so if I'm anywhere near it, then I can try to find it. Uh-huh. So this is my first place, San Jose del Pacifico. It's kind of where, like, mushrooms were, like, kind of, like, made popular in Latin America.

that's on the way into Waxaca. Yeah, O'Haka has been super like the new hotspot amongst backpackers too. Really? Yeah, because it's like varied architecture, it's agricultural, it's super safe, there's no cartels. Yeah, I skip all that.

I mean, Mexico City is all the way up here, but the cartel shit is way up here. It is, yeah. So it's like, I don't want to go, I don't want to do that and I don't want to build it, you know, whatever. So, so Wahaka into Chappas, which I've only heard from, in Guatemala,

everyone's like Chappas was the best, most fun place. Really? That's what they all were saying. Guatemala. Wow. Okay, okay, okay. And then over, and then over into Guatemala.

Ah. And then I don't know. Ah. Maybe Belize. Maybe El Salvador. But in Guatemala, are you going to that Lake Atilanti, the volcano thing?

Yeah, I'll go back there. I've been there. I'm such a retard. I planned a trip there, but I had to, same thing I had to cancel. And my friend that I was supposed to meet there went on such a piece of shit.

He's like also a backpacking guy, you know. And we both planned. And he was there for three weeks on my recommendation. And he said it was magical. just like I knew it was. Yeah. I've heard such a,

that the volcano has magical energy. I've heard like that the community there's cool. It's hipsters. There's a lot. Yeah. Where's that? Titalana here. Yeah,

there's all these different, whatever you want. So there's high level like influencers. Right Titlan. Yeah, so you can say it any of these things. Any, these are all cities.

And by the way, it takes like hours to get across. Yeah. It's not just a little lake. It's massive. It's massive. It's massive. It's massive.

It's super beautiful. And also Guatemala City, I've heard, is even cool. I stayed clear of it. Yeah. I heard it was dangerous. So I was like, yeah, I guess. That's like American dangerous, you know. No, they were like, Guatemala, so he's like, get out of there Antigua.

They're like, there's one region that's okay. The rest are like gangy. I don't know, maybe. You'll join a gang. Yeah, like, why Akeel is like dangerous in Ecuador. There's just a couple cities that are like shitty. So Guatemala also interests me. You know what else really?

interest me, tell me if this is in your plan. Buenos Aires. Oh, yeah. I'm a super big Buenos Aires guy. I might go see Oasis in Buenos Aires. See, no, if that's even like an option, you know that's like a thing you have to do now. They're playing Buenos Aires.

They're playing South Paulo and they're playing. So Paulo might be crazy too. Yeah. And they're playing somewhere in Chile, Santiago. I want to see him in one of those spots. Chile, I've heard it's awesome to work with a lot of Chileans. They were super cool. Also, Argentinians.

I used to work in Australia a lot. And they started to show me pictures of Buenos Aires, the parties. I remember I got really fascinated. The cycling there is big. Yeah, so here's what I'm going to do that I haven't really done before. Before I went like Asia, when I met you, it was hostile life. It was backpack a life. I was playing for 10 poor, but I was whatever.

But here I'm like, I'll definitely do a lot of hostels, but also if I feel like staying in Buenos Aires and like going to a nice restaurant, I'm just going to. Bro. I'm going to like do nice things. If it's like, you know, I don't, I'm not going to do the $15 a day stuff. No, that backpacking shit, that's over for me too. Like in some sense that I also, yeah, there's amazing restaurants, cuisine. And if you can afford it, bro, of course take the experience.

Take the fucking rides. If you meet some, you know, sometimes people say like tour guides are hack, but if you find a guy that's recommended, like I went to, when I went to Tulum, I had a friend there who lived. lived there for nine years and he goes, contact this number. And you know, you just contact him. And it's a guy who gives you on quad bike, you know, ATV. And we go to a cenote that's like three hours away.

It was like magical. So it was also pricey, but if you have that option, there's nothing bad with that. Same thing with hotels and restaurants. Absolutely. Dude, the wine you're going to have. I don't know if you're a big wine guy. No, Mendoza, right? What?

Yeah, all the mall back. Oh, my God. I'm pretty excited about it. Sheila has amazing wine. Oh, you're going to do like Uruguay? or something. First country to legalize weed. No, really? Ever, yeah. Really? Apparently it's backfire

politically, but... So here's what I was thinking about Uruguay. So I got to be down here for the solstice, right? In the December and then come back up. There's a carnival. They have all these different carnivals and they have a real low level one in Uruguay in February, which is like more family oriented. I'd like that. But chill? Chill. Chill. I love

chill. Yeah, and I kind of want to maybe do that. So, I'll definitely go to Uruguay. I've heard better things about it. Oh, I heard about this. This, some guy outside the cellar told me about this place. Tell me. I marked. It's one of the first places I marked. La Paloma?

Caba Polonia. What the fuck is this? It is, it is a hamlet. It has no... See, Caba Polonia has no roads leading to it. Yeah. It said it gets no electricity. What?

Yeah. I love this. Wow. Now, this is what we're talking about. Yeah. No electricity, just a few places. And you can just get... Oh, my.

my god what wild horses no okay so okay so what's the wrong you're gonna so okay this okay anyway you're a pilot so I want to go there so a pirate yeah I've just been hearing about these places but what about Brazil or Colombia I'm also fascinated never been to Colombia personally but that's also like a big highlight for me that I've read about Medellín so much like everyone says yeah dangerous all that but there's so much other shit around it no Here's what I'm excited about Medellin, because I went there for Spanish class. That's why I took my first Spanish classes. Then Curitiba is supposed to be amazing?

You know Curitiba? No, where's that? It's like a shore in Brazil. It's where... State of Panama, Brazil. There we go. I started hearing first about it because that fucking shoot-a-box camp is there. It's like a kickboxing gym.

But a lot of backpackers have told me it's actually a super cool vibe. Okay, hold on. I think you can get there from... South America, Rex. Hold on. So this is what I do. Boom. now to say it, but I usually am able to say who gave it to me.

But Rio, for sure? Eh, no? Yeah, San Paulo more, right? South Paulo more. Yeah. In my head, I would go the same. I talked to Rafi Bostos. He's from near Sao Paulo.

Oh, yeah, he is, yeah. And Glad Greenwald is now living maybe Sao Paulo, maybe somewhere else. Paraguay I'm uninterested in. Some of these places just don't call me at all. Some really do. So El Salvador, I'm kind of excited about because it used to be super dangerous and now I guess it just got very

undangerous and so it's not going to be touristy but I heard great beaches and shit wow it already sounds so fucking El Cucco yeah you know Turner Sparks? Yeah he just went there Really? Yeah and he goes it's like so safe

Like what did he do with that? Just vacation? He went to make a travel video He said there's a place called Bitcoin Beach They only access Bitcoin because they're so like advanced of like we're doing our own dollar understand or whatever. And then he went there, he goes, yeah, but there's no Wi-Fi here. So we can't change. We can't send Bitcoin to each other. That's a dream.

Hilarious. Yeah. Anyway, give me what your questions are about this trip. So tell me like, what's the, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So we go there, a Peru, Peru? Yeah, sure. So I'm going to go to, there's a lot of these places. The only thing I'm definitely, definitely, definitely going to do, the rest are like, I'd like to do that. I'd like to go to Uruguay, but if stuff gets really transferred, if I end up living on a farm in in Argentina for a while, I might not get it to Uruguay, you know.

But the only thing I'm definitely going to do is I'm going to hike to Machu Picchu. Oh, shit. Yeah. That's the move for sure. But tell me about like any psychedelic shit or like. I'll probably do for sure, right? Yeah.

Especially if you're around Peru and all that. You got to like. I did in Ecuador last time. And also you can probably get one of those fancy ones now. I've heard it's like crazy nice. What do you mean? Like the way they set it up for you and the views they give you and the shaman and the rich.

I've heard it's like the premium Johnny Depp shit. What do you mean? Like describe it. So it's like you pay more, of course. But for you, pay more. You're a multimillion. I'm not. I don't know what the standard of the...

Everyone's like, oh, two millionaires talking about politics. Like one millionaire. Get something pretty awesome, I reckon. I did it. It was 80 bucks. It was in Ecuador. It was not awesome, but it was very authentic. Yeah, 80 bucks.

It's like you have a tent in the woods, you know? Not quite a tent. That would have been nice. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and you puke in a bucket, you know. Just in here somewhere. But in those fancy ones, you can like, puke on like a child or something.

On a child. Yeah. Pay extra. I think the spirits know you're rich too there. Like the spirits will be like this guy. Like the spirits that visit Ron White are very different than the ones visited you for 80 bucks. Yeah. The spirits that visit Ron White, they're all the other Ron White.

They're all the other Ron whites, you know. They're the VIP shaman. The White Ron Wrights. The crazy thing about the Amazon is spread so far. But okay. Look at this. Look at this. It goes into Ecuador.

It's all this. So tell me about the Amazon. Is this also a consideration? You gotta get like shots and shit. No, it's my favorite place in the world. Have you been there before? Yeah. Oh, wow.

You know it was funny? I was on stage and I was my arm is sore from getting them. One of them, one of the vaccines was like nice. The other, you could feel it all going in. Healing everything. I'm like, oh, and I had to hold my, I was like, so I was on stage. stage I was like sorry I got vaccinated today people started murmuring a color of people

booed a couple people cheered I was like this is odd and then I said it later's like fuck this fucking vaccine and someone's like why you're doing that doesn't do anything and I was like no Jesus Chris what the the yellow fever vaccine doesn't do anything are you shitting me and he goes oh yeah and I'm like guys you're too politicized I'm going traveling where there's malaria concerns and you're still living in 2020 oh you mean the malaria Yeah, it's actually an important one. Oh, you mean the one that? I don't want to get dengue.

I'm sorry if this doesn't match up with your fucking science, but I'm going to do my best to not get it. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I'm not getting dengue. Yeah, yeah, I'm still good on rabies. But, okay, okay, okay, so wow. So, yeah, Amazon is amazing. Now that's wild, right?

You're going to be like kidding. You're going to go to like. But I want to go to like different parts of it too. Jesus. Amazon breathes. Everything just breathes. Really? The whole, the sounds all the time.

Crazy sounds. Everything's dying and living, dying and living. Crazy sounds. You get these frogs that are like outside your windows. And you're like, what the fuck? And the next day they're on a little further and they can't, but like what's making that noise? Yeah. It's a cricket this size.

Like those lizards that scream, the little ones, you always hear them in like in like Thailand and stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you see what it is like, it's that big. big. Dude, the first time you hear that, yeah, lizard scream, I'm literally like, there's... We gotta get the fuck out of here. That is funny when you go to a new place and you hear a new animal. You just hear that and you're like, they're like, oh, it's the little...

That's a butterfly. It's a little butterfly, yeah. Here's what I'm excited about. I'm excited about seeing some places. I'm excited about being lost. I've recorded 52 episodes of this podcast. Jesus. So I'm good till...

I mean... next July, August. And then it's London, right? And then it's London. Wow. And that's going to be so exciting too, huh? Yeah. But honestly, it's not even on my mind right now.

Of course. Because it's so in this. God, this is so fucking awesome. Yeah. So tell me this. Yeah. There's also some things that backpackers do here, like they take a boat from place to place.

Yeah. Okay. So tell me about this. Good question. So tell me about this. Two countries I got to miss. Venezuela. I'm obsessed with boats.

Venezuela, because. they're taking like, I've heard like political prisoners now. Like you don't have to speak out. You just go like, hey, you're America. We might need you to trade. Let's just drop up charges. And then Honduras, not look, I don't know. There's this place up here, these islands that seem really nice.

So maybe cox and hole, whatever. But, but I don't know, it's too dangerous. So if I'm going to be in the South. I kissed a girl from Honduras once. She had a giant scar across her face to ask what the scar was. She was like, ah, you know. Can, is there any way? You know who'd set that to country music?

I kissed a girl from Honduras once. She had a scar across her face. I asked where the scar was and she said, ah, you know. I mean, tell me that's not at least a post-Malone version of country. That's a lyric, bro. Autotune it and make me a moment. Auto-tune it,

rip it, play it. Yeah, right here. Jesus. So here I can miss Honduras and go straight to... How long is the boat? I think a few hours. Here to there. Here to there.

I love boats. I love boats. That's it. Yeah, fairies. What's the best ones? Indonesia. Yeah, everything in Indonesia, those fairies are awesome because it's always like there's Burmanese like people without passports, you know, they're like hiding under the deck.

It's like a real experience. I think it from here to like to right there and then bypass and then go to Chinatanga or something like that. Jesus Christ. This is so fucking fascinating. What I'm excited about is not having any time. constraints and so if in Guatemala I only went to here before into like the central and the mountains up to this town I definitely want to go back to I didn't get to the west or the east I mean in the north where all the ruins

are well so I'll get to there to Cal and all those places fuck Belize right kind of yeah kind of yeah I don't know if I'll go they speak English so it's less exactly and there's like big investments there it's like one of those it's like a Panama City You know, it's like just a big economy. Oh, right. Nicaragua has all that cigars. That could be fun.

Oh, God. I heard Panama outside of Panama City is just really fun. Really? And really, like, really beautiful and naturey. And then I wouldn't mind seeing the canal in action, but that's about it for Panama City. The canal in action. What's this? Bocas del Toros.

Pocas del Toros. Bokas del Toro. So, South America Rex. Okay. Okay. Anyway, that's something. Wow. What is this?

Oh, what? Yeah, I don't know who the fuck told me about this, but this looks fucking badass. Tell me this won't be fun to be here. Yeah, this looks like somewhere where Vin Diesel gets a mission. You know, he gets the call. He's got to go back in.

He gets the call. Yeah. Shaky. Somebody's video. Dude, white people are crazy. They just film anything. There better be a soon. Nami coming or other words, there's no reason for this level of shaking us.

Hold your arm. There it is. Oh. I mean, yeah, it's just like, dude, you're going to run into so many places. Chicken buses. But you know what you can never predict a vibe. So you never know. And I bet isn't the most exciting part since you have such an unlimited time constraints.

Yeah. You can totally vibe it out. Yeah. I've had so many, dude, so many trips have been where a vibe, the vibe is right. and I just stay there. I'm having a good time. Well, I move on. Yeah, there was a...

You party too, right? What? You party too, right? So Medellin, I reckon. I've heard crazy shit. I had a friend who went to... If you're going to go to the Guinness factory in Dublin, you better go get some Coke in Medellin.

Yeah, I've never done it. But to be honest, if the... This guy... What? I never done it, yeah. And I had a... When I was... When I was backpacking...

first opportunity to lower your voice so the one woman doesn't hear you and no other women will hear you know i don't want to say that's a reach i don't want to say okay yeah she laughed um so uh so there's a backpacking in a hostel i met a guy from switzerland that i convinced to do a muytai fight even though he's never had one yeah because he was so coaked out and ready to go And we went to one of those, you know those bars that everything's made of ice, but it's like in Thailand. And there was a formula, I don't want to say his name, but there was a formula one driver there, who I spoke Finnish with, because he's also Finnish. Yeah. With his Victoria's secret supermodel, and they had cocaine on the table.

And I don't know why. I just said no, and I left the party early, and my Swiss friend with his swollen eye from the Muay Thai, fight the night before. He just got K-O. I just convinced he was so... You're like, you can do it. Yeah, I said, dude, it's more about spirit than like technique. No, literally.

And he like... No, literally. And I'm cornering him in a... Remember that barring called Pippi where you can just fight? And there was like a Thai fighter in the ring and they said, we're missing an opponent. He's like, da-t-da, this many pounds. I'm like, yeah, you're similar. He was not. He was way smaller than

the guy. I go, yeah, you're similar. I mean, you got the, you know, he's got the technique. You have the heart. and he got hit so bad immediate swollen and his wedding is next week he's waiting for his so he has to you know

he doesn't want to do the face time because he's, I mean this is before a wedding like this so he's in that ice bar getting coked out with this Formula One drive and the Victoria's Secret model

he stays for the party and just like bang it's the shit out of the fucking Victoria's secret he fucks the F1 driver's girlfriend the Formula one driver's in the corner no way really yeah yeah yeah

whoa so I I said no in that moment. So every time I have to say no now, I feel a strength within me to say no. Because I said no. And you messed out? Crazy night.

But you missed out. Do you regret saying no? This is bad. Don't say that. But yes. You regret saying no or you're happy you said no? I don't fucking know. But I used that strength to say no.

I don't understand the point of the story. You're saying it could have been bad for you or it was bad for you to not do it. Could have been so fucking awesome. Yeah. This is a negative. story you're telling me about not doing cocaine. This is a negative story.

I guess it is. So you're going to do coke in Medellin? Yeah. 100% right. The party is, I had a friend who did the same thing as you. And what happened was the classic, go to Medellin, meets a girl, stay there for a year. Just doing coke, partying with his hooker. Listen, if any girl says, hey, do you need a wife in America?

I'm like, yeah, I do. Prove your case. They're going to be so hot. So here is... They're going to be so fucking hot, dude. And you can fucking win out of rubber too because, dude, they're in fucking... What are they going to find me?

All the Jews look the same view. All Jews look the same view. The Jews don't even have a name. There is one... Just a fucking hot fucking hooker in like Piedra, Gorda, like somewhere there in a nightclub. In the hills, dude.

The views are amazing. Where is... Just bust. You know, I went around, around Medellin once to go to Spanish class. I forget the name of the town, but it's right next to it. Hello, my amor. Here's what I'm looking forward to in Colombia.

There's one restaurant that had the best chicharon I've ever had. The best what chicharon? Chicharon. You know what chicharon is? It's the best, bro. You don't know what chicharon? It's like when you get beat off by a massage therapist? Yeah.

Dude, it's so fucking good But I could do like ecstasy or something I've never done that either Why have you never done anything? I don't understand I don't know, I think I would be in real trouble I treat it Oh look at that Look at that

This is delicious for you Dude it's like little teeth of meat Dinosaur spine God it's amazing Oh my mouth's watering just looking at your dick I mean looking at this What What?

Hey, producers, do you think this is good shit? Yeah, what do you mean? It looks amazing. There's no, this isn't up for debate, bro. I mean, I'm just a bit, okay. I'm not saying it like, I like this weird food. This is amazing. Anyway, going to get that, and then I'm just going to go south.

Have you heard about any place that I should definitely go to? I mean, you're talking about some of them. Yeah, well, Buenos Aires, Medellin, Buenos Aires, that fucking Artilante. I don't know what I don't know what I can say that. I've heard that's like amazing. Uruguay, Chile. Yeah, so apparently, well, we'll see if it happened or not. We're going to try to get the YMH entire family here to go to meet me in Chile.

Wow, that's awesome, dude. Right? Well, Tom's a nice boss. Tom's a nice boss. Tom's going to pay. Yeah, he's going to pay. Yeah, he's going to pay. Yeah, take Tom's going to Bolivia and get him kidnapped, dude.

Yeah, he's not going to do Bolivia. By the way, if I hear Tom'sugura as in Bolivia, I'll contact the cartel and leave him a hint. You have a lot of people. close to Mr. Rogan. Look at this. Get them. Get them. Yeah, dude, that's what you should do.

Get them all kidnapped, dude. Look at this. Maybe I'll go here. The San Juan Batista Island way out. Tom, Succarus, like, thanks, sorry. You got my kids kidnapped in Bolivia.

Well, Tom, you should have thought of that before you played the trip. I didn't invite the kids, Tom. That was just a bonus for the kidnappers. To be fair, my dream in life, my dream in life is that you get kidnapped. Yeah. And you go, like, underground for four years.

We have the funeral. And then you like return. And then you have cool stories. That'd be good for the podcast, too. It would be good for the podcast. So wait, let me ask you a question. What are people saying that I'm not going to make it through South America? That I kind of come visit in the middle of it?

Yeah, you're going to come by the end of the year. There'll be a new year's fucking baboosh, you know. It's so funny how people want to, but why do you think people want to believe I'm not going to do? This isn't even like I'm going to run a marathon. Exactly. This is like, I'm planning a trip and I'm like, I won't make it. I won't make. That's not even a debate.

It is actually a pretty short one. I thought you were like full two years, never again to be seen. Yeah, if it was something like that, I could see. I'm like, guys, it's seven or eight months. I just did six in Ecuador. But within those seven, you were telling me about you're going to fly over America. The eagle is going to be calling. When am I going to fly over America?

Because you told me you're going to go to fuck, fuck, well. I already went there. Oh, you. Yeah. I was going to start there and then fly straight to Watulco, but then I was like, let me enjoy my last New York summer. So instead I was like, I went up there. I meant Alaska. Oh, you did?

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. So tell me, crazy, crazy, crazy? Oh, I'll show you this. Like cold, cold, cold. No. It got up to about 60, and they were all bitching about the heat.

They were bitching about the heat. 60s hot. 60's hot. Yeah. Look at this. Look at this. This is... Every time I see you, your facial hair is this crazy dog.

Look how light that is? Check out the time. Yeah. Oh, dude. Come to Estonia. This is... Really? Yeah, this is all 12, 18 a.

I know, yeah, that's when people, you don't know. Four, you just, I was just watching the sun be above the horizon and just going like, what the fuck? Over the ice and the water. It was just so nutty. Yeah. They had a big whale, like celebration, whale hunt celebration. So what do you think about this? What?

But definitely go to places during the winter where it gets a bit colder too, right? I remember every time I backpacked for more than a year in a stretch, the heat, I get. I get sick of it. At some point I'm literally, I remember I went like to the north of Thailand too for that just to have some sort of a winter. I mean it wasn't cold but it was fucking cool. Cool and rainy and fucking.

Well, okay. So I'm chasing the summer. So this is going to be like down here is going to be the hottest day of the year there or among them. So like I'm as it gets colder in North America I'll be in the heat there. But there is the mountains,

the Andes that gets cold. I went up to a city in the north of Guatemala, where they have these weird, like, like, uh, Temescal's. And, um, it was like frigid at night.

But it was in the mountains and it was like, I didn't buy some fucking Jesus candles to light them up just to have some heat around me. But then you breathe in, that freshness. It is fresh. Ah, the freshness. Oh. Dude, you're going to breathe such fresh air.

It's going to be crazy. Especially the Amazonas and all that shit, dude. I think of home of it. I mean, the air is going to be, those are the lungs of the earth, man. You're going to say, yeah, yeah, dude. That's going to be a mate. And you're going to just be in a fucking get on one of these boats, hold on AK-47, do drugs, fuck a hooker. Yeah, I'm a little more worried about the danger there than Southeast Asia.

Oh, for sure. Seems way safer than this seems. The crime is like not crazy. crazy, crazy, but definitely above. And you're getting to an age where you're an easy target. Like if I see your face as a cartel member. That's what you'd go for. Yeah.

Yeah, you wouldn't go for you or even Brian Simpson. You would go for like... Definitely not for Brian Simpson. He was not going to fight back. Me and Rogan were in Rio, the UFC, Seth Rogan. And he was real worried. He gets worried about everything, but he gets real worried about kidnapping.

They were like kidnapping. They were like kidnappings. They were like a real thing. And we had a bodyguard slash driver, bulletproof car and stuff like that. And he was like, do people get kidnapped all the time? The guy's like downplaying it. I mean, we've had this on a last podcast that we did together.

But he goes, the driver goes, guys, you're not easy targets. This is 15 years ago. He goes, your guys are in your 30s and 40s. Like, they're looking for an old man. Exactly. You want to look at the old man. The kids want to get crampas back. Completely out of money and desperate, desperate.

Maybe they'll try to get you. But like, they'll just wait until the next guy that's not going to fight back. Yeah. Joe, you're huge. I don't want that fight. Huge. And also, oh, great. they kidnapped Rogan.

I guess 74 Navy seals are coming tonight. Yeah, he's one of the ones. Yeah. We're going to try to get him back. The Florida grandpa, guy who looks like you,

you look old with this hair guy, like this whole shit. You look like an old captain. General Burnside. You look like a guy that goes down with the ship. Right? He looks like the guy like,

I'll stay. Like, yeah, like you. I could, you're gonna, I'll hit you with a baseball bat bat over the head. Yeah. In my head,

your story you have like a you're like visiting there and people miss you you're maybe maybe a fiance back in America and that's the guy who'll get a million dollars from grandpa from Florida you can get a million dollars you don't think this guy's a wild car with this haircut this guy's like I don't know if he's nice or not when you start speaking then I'll get creep the fuck out you know what I have you know I have this you ever hear of a flavor saver you ever hear that term like it's that the hair it gets stuck in there so that when you you know why it gets stuck like what's it Pussy.

Pussy flavor. Get stuck and save it. Save it flavor. Men are so gross and disgusting. I agree. But here's why, Ari. I don't like the flavor. You don't like pussy flavor?

No, not later. I mean... I like fresh puss. Yeah, everybody likes fresh puss. Everybody likes fresh puss. That's the name of your children's book. Everybody likes fresh puss. Yeah.

Washed, young. Everybody likes fresh puss. I don't. So... After 30, it gets a little flanged. Yeah, it gets a little like. You should put this in the fridge and have a plan about who's paying for it.

I can't remember eating pussy in my 20s being like this tastes like nothing and now I mean it tastes like something you can smell it anyway I don't want that stave or flaved you ever smell a girl's pussy while you're kissing her like you can smell it because it's because in backpacking culture rank in backpacking culture a shower hasn't been seen in weeks sometimes sometimes that's where you fuck in the shower yeah fucking the showers it's the right thing to do unless you have your own dorm or your own like no one else is in it be a gentleman go fucking a shower and blast off

in fucking Venezuela dude so anyway now no flavor at all saved slides right off warmth flavorless and what's oh that's me yeah if I kidnap you and you start

talking about flavor saving I'm letting you go yeah if they kidnap me I'm like I don't want to fall asleep oh boys take me to the boys yeah Where are we kidnapped? You guys are taking me to a resort? I'm willing to pay.

That is true. You can do a lot of... Where's Eustin Island? Can I visit it? You can do a lot of... 100% you can be a... No one would ever. Where is Epstein?

This is it? Little St. James. Dude, how crazy is Google? It's like you put in Epstein Island, it knows. It's like, I got you, brother. It's because... Oh, it's up there.

Wow. Yeah, well... There's one review. What's the review? What's the review? That's the review. Show me a review. Reviews, boom, here we go.

How do they... Two years ago, one star. David King. David was the one that didn't know what's going on, so he just went to bed too early. Jesus Christ, you go into the Amazon.

It's big, huh? But trucks, trucks. So look at this. Mano. Yeah, yeah. You heard of it? There's, well, it's a big city

in the middle of the Amazon. That's where you land to go to the fucking Amazon, right? Oh yeah. And that's where all the like drug shit happens. Wow. See, read that quick facts.

Start reading it. Manalas on the banks of the... Here we go. Any, can you help with that? I think you can't say that. I think white guys can't say that. Well, just tell me if I'm allowed to say it or not. It means black in Spanish.

You can't read it? Sorry, the text is too small. I can't read it. I can spell it for you if you want. Wait, go ahead. Hold that. Is that help? Oh, yeah.

The Nigger River. I don't think that's the word. That's a mispronunciation. Nobody was saying that. It's a major deportion point. It's a major for the surrounding. See, major deposition point for the surrounding Amazon. That's, yeah, all my friends that have gone to the Amazon have landed.

That's where you're like, man, now. Can you read the sentence? I can read a lot. I can't see it. Just east of the city. The dark nags got brown. Madis Salimos River the dark neck negro negro you can say that yeah Rio Negro converges with the brown money's black wow media oh wow by the way that's the word we

have for the inward in Estonia too so we don't really have the angry N-word which is kind of shame you don't yeah we have just as neutral neutral like black in Spanish I mean you don't have nowhere there ba boom bab boom get out of here you fucking baa bah by the way Brazilians say the end bomb like even the white guys Dominicans in New York say it They say it so casually

Dude I have a friend who's literally his grandpa was half Dominican he drops it He goes instead of they replaced it with guy So I told that guy over there and I'm like you're not black Yeah but they're like shut up this And they go this is actually crazy right now I'm like I'm one It's exciting.

It's exciting. That will be nice. I'll tell you what I'm scared of. Yeah. So tell me all the anxiety. Because, okay. Right now I'm worried. Career-wise, you don't feel nothing, right?

A bit. Right, you do. Yeah, yeah. I've made a decision, Ari. What about if you go up somewhere? Have you thought about that? No. Same thing I had,

I saw your show in Cambodia. That's my fear. why I didn't want to go up and then sit on a bomb for two straight months. If I bomb in New York now, which happens all the time, I'm getting on that night or quickly the next day, and I'm washing it. Okay, so that anxiety, none. Okay. Okay, no, but career-wise, I've made a decision to give up a certain amount of money

for some of this free. A lot of money, yeah, for sure. And so I already made that decision. So, of course, I'm going to fall behind again to a degree. But then again, as a person, the development you're going to go through, This is going to be like on brand. On brand. Of like you're going to absolutely have an angle.

I bet the special you're going to come back is like you did a candle one. It's going to be small Brazilian children in the back. Yeah, yeah. Maybe all the little boys I had sex ones. Dude, Ari, go fuck it. Dude, I'm already going. I've got a reservation in two different places. That's great.

I heard the resorts are really nice. It's the fancy boys. There's something that are pronounced with Zorts. And that's the Zots. Yeah, because it's like the cute. to say it because that's like a code for that there's children fucking here i think there's children fucking in every resort sometimes i say it these things too seriously and people think i'm being serious i'd like to say here you'd be tripping i've never fucked a child uh booth boys and girls do you have

any questions about this trip yeah i'm a bad hope think it over for a second what food are you looking forward to the most i've kind of been a horrible besides the chicharon's besides the chicheron besides the chicheron that's a good question uh there's coi in ecuador and all through peru guinea pig Diarrhea I'm a little worried by the diarrhea But that happens That will happen

Anyway I just deal with it To be a man Yeah I am Worried about Any motorcycle trips Yeah I'll take

I'll take Mopeds for sure Fucking awesome Yeah for sure You gotta get mopeds Uh huh So dangerous So dangerous

And then Hikes I'll be going on some hikes And when you're in Brazil Don't put your hand Outside of the bus You know They like chop it off

You know They like chop it off in a machete Take your watch So don't do that I don't think I'll wear a watch Yeah don't do that And then also like who does that When you stand next to that

When you stand next to the train stop somewhere Yeah Don't be on your phone Like be on your phone Like this is you on your phone And then they do this Push you in and you die And I'd be like hey

Why'd you have to push? You could have just taken It's an iPhone 6 You could have just taken Yeah So don't do that So don't and don't look around Too much

Yeah Listen I'm not worried about the danger part of it I am worried about I'm not really about much to be honest I'm just like I want to get to things but also like

I'm a little worried about like readjusting into hostile life yeah dude but I'll be fine I know that'll work fine after a week I'll be like I'm used to this now it will 100% and then letting go will actually feel amazing I went to Guatemala a couple of Decembers ago

and I stayed in hostels and it was like I got my own private for one or two nights and then I went on a hike and came back to like there's no privates left I'm like nah give me a dorm it didn't matter After date two, I was like, this is fine.

Everything switched off. Everything did switch off. Just give it a second. Yeah. But, okay, okay, okay, the anxiety. And then, of course, but it's going to be like exciting. It's going to be very exciting. Isn't it crazy that?

You know, it's my number one anxiety when I travel, my passport. Isn't it funny? Oh, that's an anxiety, yeah. That's a piece of paper, on this day and age, a piece of paper, if you lose that in Paraguay. Yeah, what do I do? You're Paraguayan now. Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much, right? No, you are. I got to find an embassy. Also, if you lose your wallet, I got about five hours left before I'm starting to need food. And I don't have a wallet or a passport. I'm actively dying.

You're dying until you get a passport. Yeah, you get somewhere. Yeah, how do I get a new ATM card? How do you even start with this happened? Who do, yeah. I'm like, oh, I got to steal some bread. Mm-hmm. Well, I still have the energy to do it.

Here's one thing. I'm worried I haven't finished all the work I have to do before I leave. So right now I have this anxiety of like, did I take care of everything so I can actually disconnect? Dude, but the feeling when you're on the plane and seven months of no plans? Yeah. That's why you're a backpacker.

I'm a backpacker. Kyle Legacies are back. There's people who love that freedom. Yeah. Look at them with good questions. I act like you're a host. You pretend it's your question. Hey, Mr. Shafir, welcome, dude.

We are traveling. With Ari Maddie. So, Mr. Shafir, you can see him on Netflix and YouTube. Please, give it up. Thanks, thanks. So, Ari, tell me about this trip. It's going to be an exciting...

What's the packing situation like? Good question, Ari. One backpack, ovial. Really? Just go balls deep. Fuck it. What do you mean? Like the big one that you throw,

oh, you still check. No, don't check. You got to get it just overhead. 45 liters. Well, I got a 70. That's a 55 main pack that's just small to fit in the overhead. Tell me the model.

It's an Osprey. Osprey. Farpoint 70. They changed the model. So I had to go eBay, an older used one to get this proper model with a zip-up.

Yes. With the zip-up bag. With the attachment. So it's a 55-liter that has an attached 25 or something, right? Attach 15. Attach 15. Yeah, it's so good.

The new one, it doesn't zip. Far paint, yeah. 4.70. 4.70. Boom. Yeah, yeah, no, that's the one I had in Asia. I actually left one. Dude, my last far point,

I'm so pissed off still about this, is in Kuala Lumpur Airport. Oh. You know why? Why? Late on the flight, and they tell me. We can let you on through the back, but your backpack's got to go

because it was too big for the overhead. And then I had to just leave it at the airport. What do you mean? So they couldn't check it? No. They said that's the option. Either run now, lead this year. Yeah, so it's this.

Oh, that's fair of you. No, that's not. That's a chicks one. Yeah, it's a chick's one. Yeah, so it's that. So everything's got to be duplicatable. So, like, hiking shoes that can double as, like, go out. I kind of hate the zipper there, Tom.

You know, there's new ones. I can't fucking remember the new model that my friend uses. It's called naked something. It's apparently... See, the zipper kind of sucks, like, on all ospreys, because you know how securely it's strapped. It's going to be great for the Amazon, because that means it's probably got the fucking humidity protection.

But... Wait, what are you saying? What don't you like? The access. You know, I love like... And a big zipper. They have a small zipper that might give you issues. Oh, no.

This one slips all the way up and around. Yes, but the zipper's eyes. I love the big... train tracks where you can pull it through the clothes like when you need it shut yeah no this did this did eventually break on my other one that's why i had to get another one that's what i'm talking yeah so it's everything's so it's one one pair of jeans which people like don't there's all this red and stuff don't get two pairs of jeans one pair yeah no but some people say don't even pair jeans they take too long to draw nah no bro you're gonna go to a restaurant yeah jeans are actually they're horrible

to sweat in but they're actually great to sweat in like the smell is increasingly The smell comes into them. The smell is included. Yeah, it comes in and out. Jeans are supposed to be fucking dirty. You wash maybe three weeks in America. And the dirtier, and jeans are perfect to get dirty with oil, blood, children's, hymen. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. This is a gene, it adds to the pet why it gives history. And then we sell them jeans at Skankfest. Calm, children's, hymen. I will be sad at missing Skyev. Blood, period. Geet, one pair of sneakers, light as possible. Light as possible, a pair of flip-flops.

I'm actually bringing the bird prices. Check these out. Just bought them. Great for backpacking. And also you can literally go like fucking shut them in there. What size shoe are you? Super big size. Big cock.

What size? Do you know? Are you American size or European? Everything. Yeah, but I know you are everything, but. Oh, here we go. US 11. US 11.

These are light, huh? Dude, crazy. Literally like, one of them. What brand are these? Put them in... It's an Adidas. They're not expensive either. Oh, it's Adidas.

And they're actually running ones. See Continental in the bottom. The grip is great. You can catch the flight not slip. A continent... No, dude, get these, bro. These are backpacking city. I literally went to this store.

This is the light of shit, dude. This in a backpack? Wait, it looks like... It feels like you're falling over on them. No, because it's a running one. Every shoe feels weird at first. It's like the toes go up above. It's my toes that go up above.

Yeah, I guess you don't want to be fast agile and mobile against the cartel. Sorry, my bad, dude. Sorry, my bad, dude. Sorry, my bad, dude. I guess you don't want to be fucking super fucking fuck. Yeah, get some converse, super heavy. I was get some new balance. New balances?

Fresh from them. They're like that. Yeah. Although this is a horrible car. Never get anything white with your backpacking. Because it's kind of dirty. So ugly. You get like an off white, new balance.

You know what I can't stand, though, is the Hokas. Because I get they're comfortable, but they look like you're a tourist. Dude. They're calling attention to you. If I see you in Hokas, kidnap City. Kidnapsie. Kidnapped City. Obvious.

Get the guy. Or this belly or this bag. Oh. And this look. You know, this look. Yeah. That's every tourist. Hokas, this bag.

Oh. If you're going like this... This is how you walk around everywhere. You walk around like this. Fucking, yeah. New balances and you just walk around like this and you stare everybody down. What are you going to do about it?

Even if you go the wrong way, you go the wrong way. You don't turn around. Go up and around. This is the worst shit to do near cartels. Oh. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. And you say, Ola, come estats. My amor. Yeah. You kiss a lady. So they think I'm not even going to do this trip. That's a crazy thing.

Whatever. Fuck them. It doesn't matter. They're retarded. I went to Columbia's Independence Day here by accident, a party that was here. Yeah. By accident. I went to a bar, Continental, and they had the Columbia's Independence Day. Oh, really? At the Continental? And they just know how to fucking party. I got so excited. Because this was just when you texted me that you're going on that trip.

What the fuck city? Where is this? There's all types of these islands. This is Chile? Yeah, but are you going to be some fucking... I mean, I'm not going out here. That's too far, but... Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? Oh, it's Easter Island. This is Easter Island.

This is Tom Hanks. You're going to speak with a volleyball two weeks into. What? Look at that. That's a... Yeah, but we can find these big... It's like, you know what I found out about? You know what's the number of things?

No, you can't find Easter Island statues anywhere. You know what you're going to find about backpacking that always happens? What? And when they go, this is a great temple, you're like, it's a temple. It's a temple. Temple out. Temple out. Temple out.

Temple out. Yeah, temple down, exactly. I didn't know Eastern Island was Chile. That's kind of wild. What the fuck, how far that is. So, yeah, here, at this point, I'm going to make a decision to go right or left to get around the Amazon.

This way, you know, or down this way. You guys have any other questions in there? Okay, so the packing. Continue, continue. Oh, okay, so everything's got to have two purposes. So one pair of slacks, one pair of jeans, one pair of shorts, one pair of baking suit. The converter.

I got Bert, Bert, free, free. waters what? Power converter. Get a good one. Don't get a cheap, shitty one. Get a cheap, shitty one that breaks and get another one. I'm going to get, I've figured out anything I can get there, I'm not going to worry about that I might need, I might not need. I'll get it there. Shoes I need. And I don't have my size. They don't have 11 in places. In Ecuador, I was like, hey, I need it. They're like, you're not going to find that here. And you can stop looking. You're not going to find it. It wasn't a guy trying to sell me on what he has. He's like, you just won't find that in this city.

Yeah. So for like shoes and shit I got to get, but for anything else, I'm like, I'll just go to a store and get it. For sure, yeah, for sure. The passport is the only one you got. Passport. I got that. I got my passport renewed. I got a new one.

I told them I lost the other one so I could keep all the without them like clicking through it. You mean when they cut off the corner? Yeah. I don't do that. I want it. I like that. That's a past life. You close a chapter with it.

I have all those old ones, dude. All those big visas that they would give you, you know. Jesus Christ. Jew fart. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just kind of excited to see all the different cultures and things. And like Heather told me in Wohaka that when people are getting married,

they just carry around shot glasses and you're supposed to like just walk around and people like fill up your shot glass for you. Yeah, they roofing themselves. It's great. So that's the trip. That's what I'm planning for the trip. I mean, we'll see what it ends up being like. But how about this?

You have to do a meat, meat. podcast somewhere. Dude, I'll fucking come visit you somewhere. Yeah, absolutely. We gotta do a mid-trip. We gotta do like a recap where I come there and then... No, we're gonna do a recap at the end of this

so this is like what I expected and then when I come back. Oh, because you don't want to mix. You know what? Stay out there and don't come back. I'm definitely not coming back. I might do one out there. O'Neill's coming,

Brian O'Neill's coming to Machupechepeche. Yeah, he was telling me about that. Yeah. So he's going to do that trip with me. Somewhere here, here. Somewhere like that. I'm still thinking about your fart, it was like really bothering me.

That was a bad one. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. It was not a great one. I almost got into a fist fight last week at the airport because a guy kept belching next to me and I saw the particles fly out of his mouth

and it was like a cool American dude. And I kept giving him like a European stare. And then he said, what? And I, dude, I went off. You are farting. That's what. You're belching all the time. And then I put it on Twitter

and apparently everyone's like, Everyone's against me now. Yeah, you can't talk to people. Jesus, you can't put them up there like that. Over the line. No, I just posted what happened. I said, man, balchers in public. I fist fight.

Who's wrong? Me. Turns out me. Everyone's like, this is America. You better learn the language. Language of what, puk and shit. Jeez. I'm excited for the, a lot of thermal hot bass.

Jesus, you're going to have so much thermal hot baths. Yeah. There's so many volcanoes up and down here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the fucking. the Guatemala one. Agua tamales. Maybe a helicopter trip somewhere.

It would be ironic if he dies in an helicopter, wouldn't it? Yeah, I would. I know what I'm tweeting that day. Column told me, that's what you're tweeting? Just a picture of you doing this? No, I can't remember your famous one

about a black guy, but you did someone. I remember like it was controversial. Yeah, it's hard to remember, but yeah. A millionaire died. Everyone's sad. A millionaire died. For once they're sad.

Billionaire, even. He wasn't even playing anymore. It wasn't like he lost out on stats. It's like him Britney Griner gets kidnapped. She's not Hall of Fame her anymore. She's not an All-Star currently. Also, a woman gets kidnapped. Hell of her.

Why was she stuck in that fucking... I think she was all ruse. I think she was having trans surgery. And then she didn't want to do it here in America. So she's like... But it takes a while for the recovery time. So she's covering it up. Agu's tomorrow.

I don't know. I'm just going to have fun. eat new foods. Super diarrhea. Meet some other travelers. Nah, I'll get some diarrhea, but nothing crazy. It's all well more,

way more built off than people give credit for. Lima's a real town, real city. All these potatoes are real cities. For sure. I can do you do. Some of Brazil.

Maybe I'll take some glasses. Yeah, you should. I mean, it's the fucking spot, yeah. That's not bad, actually. Yeah, you can ask like Eddie Bravo. He'll hook you up with like, you might even go to,

because I think they're from Rio, the Gracie family. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, but you don't know if you're going to Rio. I probably will. But even if I don't, I'm sure there's other things I could do that. For sure, yeah, but just anyway.

So Nicaragua smokes cigars. I found cigar reps that like go visit my father, like, factory. Go visit the, you know, Estrella factory. I'm like, okay. Wine and. Yeah. Wine and wine for sure in, in Argentina. I'm looking forward to.

Jesus, right. And the meat, dude. Notorious good meat. Wow. 1884 restaurant. Oh, I got so many recommendations. Yeah, Buenos Aires is going to be an absolute. I've heard that that's a crazy spot for party.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely going to do some drugs. You really are bad. You should have got somebody that's been there. Been there is, yes, going on this trip. What are you excited about for this long-term trip? You've been there.

You've been about to go on a long trip before. True. So maybe we start. Hello. I mean, you couldn't have done a worse job. You guys shouldn't give me more. It's like my website. You should, you guys shouldn't give me like all the comments.

Interview me about what I'm expecting for this trip. You've done nothing. So. It's an hour in. We've already done it. Okay. So you're really excited for this trip, Ari. I want my money back.

So you're really excited for this trip. Anyway, that's all the stuff I'm expecting. I don't know. What might break the trip? I want to see some indigenous, what might break the trip? Good question. Question. Malaria, robbery. Oh really, robbery?

You would Wait, let's describe robbery Somebody takes your shit Or you mean robbery Gun in your mouth With your teeth getting Get it on the ground Put it

And which is I've had friends Who've had that happen And you just have to fucking That might get me Like if I get back to the hostel My stuff's gone off I get off a bus

And like hey where's my stuff Like I don't know I'm like Motherfucker All my shit's gone That would bother me If I really was put on the ground With a gun on my head

That might get me So scared That I'm like I don't want I don't want to be here anymore. If you're alone, the upside is you get on the ground and you, you know, you soil yourself, you give all the shit. It's a traumatic experience for you.

If you're out there with a girl, she sees you, soil yourself and be a bitch, she's never going to come again. And you're never going to be a man again. Yeah. That's not great. So that's bad. Yeah. Oh.

I had a friend, I had a friend who was, what's this? I don't know. You keep going, you keep opening your eyes and being like. Oh my God, look at this. Yes, it's another place. Oh, I thought that... Every time he opens, it's like a regular city and he's literally like, can you believe this? It's buildings next to an ocean. It looks cool. What do you talk about?

Oh, yeah, it looks cool. It all looks cool. Yeah, I'm going to see it all. At a friend. Yeah. Hippy, hippie, hippie. I believe you had a friend. Hippie, hippie, hippie, hippie. Yeah.

He got robbed. With his wife, soon-to-be wife, fiancé. Yeah. Just to go on the trip before the big. marriage everything is wrong what happened he's fine he's just reframing another he's set up so consummate professional don't ask him pay for his share fresh hair pizza he won't do it but otherwise really it's crazy it's crazy it's crazy it's crazy heard a stereotype but it's not a black stereotype that's a Jewish one

it is yeah any Steinberg My friend. Yeah. Fiance, soon to be wife. One last big backpacking trip before they continue with their lives. They do ecstasy. Exactly. Just a magical experience.

Wife is swimming in the ocean. My friend is on the shore. Wife comes out, starts trying. He goes, you know what? I'll just go into. Goes in the water, looks back. Wife is on her knees, AK-47, and leave these guys with like ski masks.

And the AK-47, the back of the wife's head. Like this. So you got to like, okay. You're going to take some time. Yeah. Tide. Yeah. So he's like, fuck.

Okay. Maybe he's filmed on your back. That'd be funny if you saw your husband. Yeah. It's taking an extra second. Yeah. This is the weirdest way. Do a little dive and come back up.

Yeah. So he comes back out. Bangana, bangana. You know, these guys, Bermanese or something. Yeah. Burmese. Okay.

Get on, he gets on his knees. you know, they go, they go whatever money, whatever, you know. And this whole time when the AK-47 is the back of the soon-to-be wife, fiance's head, my friend is like, he's standing there. And they're like kids, three of them, they're like children. Only one has a gun. And in his head, he has a big rock here. And he keeps thinking about tossing this rock, you know.

He doesn't do it, thank God. It's just tough. Yeah. I mean, it's just tough. Yeah. But the fact he didn't do it, you know, this is a bad omen to the wedding, you know. We're like going into a marriage. So then he for a year, you know, he's traumatic experience, of course.

And for a year, you know, you don't fuck your girl right. And your girl also looks at you because he couldn't protect me. The pussy knows that you didn't throw the rock. The pussy knows. Like she, of course is like, of course, honey, it's just tough. Who cares? The pussy saw you be a bitch. So it knows.

so then they have to fucking and I think they're not married anymore and that one might have been it so there's that so I gotta get an AK-47 so I could be that guy and always throw the rock wife gets shot in the head

you move on you move on with a hard dick yeah it's like I know I'll step up you gotta step up so when you get in a situation like this you know believe your Liam Nis and Ari go for a shot okay I got a question yeah you are you getting any

sort of protection out there like you get in pepper spray you're gonna get a knife you're gonna get the gun anything nothing you just raw dog i don't the problem is that once you get a gun or a knife or pepper spray now you're saying i want to do this as a fight instead of i want to get away from it listen like it's like yeah take the money are you with a knife or what's i'm gonna lose that fight now it's a knife fight that i'm going to lose what if he gets the knife what if he gets your knife you know what if it gets my knife oh how about and also that escalation of all you want to this de-escalation. All you want is de-escalation. Yeah.

If you're gonna shoot me my fucking head, I'm not one of those guys. They'll be like, do it! Fucking do it! I'll be one of those guys. Shy away, shy away, push my woman up front, push my woman. I didn't see, push the woman. Push the woman, push the woman. The escalation.

That guy. That guy. Settle, settle. Yeah. I'm like, hey, let me show you, listen, I get what you guys want. I can show you pictures of my. vacations to Barrow, Alaska. You've never been there.

I know you live in the Amazon. Let me show you what a real American travel. This is the key to my hotel. There's more rich people there. There's more rich people there. Get them. Please don't. So I'm like a bitch, you know.

I'm never that guy. Like, yeah, it was like fucking do it. Do it. You won't. That's such a crazy thing to do it. I wasn't going to, but now I guess I have to. My old podcast producer, she went with her father, Estonian father, first time abroad. They go to, what's the one in Brazil?

Real? Real? Carnival. Oh, carnival. Yeah, they go that. Yeah. Yeah. I might go to that.

And they're in the, blah, blah, bah, bah. everyone chicks pussy drinks and she's with the father and the father's having a great time like man in his 50s all of a sudden baseball back to the father's head blood everywhere all in carnival with your dad you know on your lap pleading ha ha ha ha everyone stepping on you nightmare nightman nightmas loss so much blood blood blood loss the ambulance gets stuck in the crowd ha ha ha ha they're shaking the ambulance your dad might die he ended up being fine but it's just like it's a bad start it was like literally day one of a magical backpacking trip with your father. Damn.

So, so shit does get crazy. I am a bit more worried about crime here than I was in Asia. 100%. Yeah, so I don't. Asian are also small like, get them. Yeah. Get them fuck out of here. You know.

There's less gangs there. There's more like junta's, like, junta's. Which is like not my issue. Yeah, yeah. So that's my worry. Yeah. But being alone is better. But if you're with somebody, it's going to be

big trouble you're going to witness horrible crimes down to the person you love the most i don't know if hostels are like in south america i'll cut your eyelids off and then and what and they cut your eyelids off for why do they do stock tape to put you to a pole yeah and then they your wife in front of you and cut new holes in her that's like a thing of her too where's that it's like very popular in bolivia and maybe some in uruguay it's like a popular crime they'll do and then they'll show your organs for later. They might cut her like pussy off and save it in the fridge for later.

Your eye lids off and... A man's guide to helping a woman who has been taken care of. Central America. El Salvador, Guadalabado, Honduras. El Salvador, exactly where you go.

You're going to all these places. I'm going to skip Honduras. Did Rafael Salvador in Guatemala? Great. Yeah, great, great, great, great, great. Reports also detail the prevalence of sexual violence as a weapon of war and persecution in various regions. Great. Myanmar.

Hmm. Hmm. Oof. Anyway. Welcome to we are traveling. So that's my trip. I'll be back. We can do a second part of what I actually did.

You can talk and terribly host that too. Ask me no questions about what I did and just get on to. telling a story about myself. You knew what you get into. I thought you were going to be like, tell me about the trip. What are you planning on packing? What are you going to do?

What are you going to get rid of? I asked all those things. Eventually. They told you. I asked all those things. I'm excited about the Amazon. I'm excited about some drugs. I'm excited to fucking decompress

and just relax and not be part of it. I'm excited to see all the different kinds of saunas, the food, different regions. And you're going to be a stranger. Nowhere. What does that mean? It's like exciting. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm very excited to not be recognized. It would be recognized very, very little. Yeah. And I love the thought of like that if I get murdered here, no one will even. No one about it. I know, though.

Not even a funeral. Tony wanted me to go on Kill Tony. Needle somebody else for this week. And I was like, yeah. And then I was like, actually, I'm about to go be anonymous for, you know, the better part of a year. No. Oh, that's why. Okay.

I asked you. Yeah. But I was like, I want to go be anonymous. and you got too big and I don't want to go in there he goes, it won't be out for three weeks I'm like, I know, I'll be in fucking Guatemala then.

I don't want to... But you've been on like 74 times. I know, but not recently. Now is the time to go Batman? Not lately, right when it's on your mind, it's always a jump in popularity. I get more recognized right when I do a kill Tony.

I don't know about... Well, surely there'll be some fucking students in Colombia that will recognize you because they're doing Coke and they'll yell and... Yeah, or just other backpackers. Heather, you got any questions about this trip? Okay, yes, better host.

No, I'm excited to go see your Waxaca Shockless thing You sent me a Taco Place? Yeah. In Wohaca? Great. Oh, you've been there, yeah? She went for a wedding.

Yeah. A lot of people have been there for a wedding. Banyos, Ecuador, too, people go for weddings. Anyway, we'll say, yeah, but definitely come visit. Yeah, somewhere I'd love to. Dude, this is so exciting. And also, like, when you zoom out, just zoom out. Yeah.

Isn't it crazy? How big? It's so big. South America is. This is the United States. States which seems big. This is so crazy. That's from here to here.

Yeah. Pretty much. That's the US. And that's like double. Double. And you go down. And this is all uninhabitable by anyone who can't fucking make a meal out of ants. Oh, it's literally like, yeah.

Jesus. And it's going to be so exciting. Yeah. I'm excited to go back to some of the places I've already been, like that one Chicharon restaurant. For sure. There's different places I want to just go back to a place in Ecuador near this market town. There's one house that used to do yoga at. get in Otavalo that was so fucking cool.

I want to go back so bad at other places that are new that I've always heard about. The best part about backpacking is telling other people where to go later. It's like the most, you feel so good. When I was in a city and, it's like a temple city in Myanmar

and this Israeli girl was like, hey, we did a three day hike. We just came from there. We stayed at a monastery one night. We stayed in a village. I'm like, oh, and then the people were like, let's do that. And then you just hear from other people what there is to do. My fucking favorite is when I found, look at somebody's Instagram stories and they're like in Slovakia and I send them a restaurant. And then you get that text like eight hours later.

They're like, dude, he was so good. What the fuck? Yeah. That's all you want to travel for. And I really, Latin America. Also, like, dude, even when I was in that Columbia's Independence Day party, I just looked at Colombian people parting. They just party. The Colombian party bus is like a thing.

Latin Americans, whether it's fuck, I know, Portuguese. Spanish, I don't give a fuck. Just that blood, it's like the way, they know what's up. There's about 20 people in that bar and for 25 minutes it was that song, you know that song that me, me costa marijuana, me cost to, me costa tejas, me cost to, me costa, Colombia, and you just sing along for 25 minutes. Yeah, and then. That's pretty good. Yeah. And I'm there with like, I'm there. Los Hombres G. Is that Los Humberes G? Who knows? I'm there with like, uh, with like a date, you know. We go to the bar and these guys come up,

they make her a compliment like, oh, what is that smell? And then the guy looks at me, goes, comes closer to me, smells me and goes, oh, that is nice too, you know? Everyone's friendly, no one's creepy to my fucking girl that I'm dating here. Right.

A white guy would be like, yeah, you got a hot piece of ass. You know, they know how to be sexy, they know how to live. The fat chicks on the beach in Rio. Oh! Were so hot. They were such hot fat chicks They were so like just putting it out there.

Latin American fat girls, are you kidding me? Yeah, it's smooth fat. It's smooth fat. No one knows smooth fat. Be fat, but be smooth, smooth fat. Underrated fat and healthy. Underrated fat. Underrated fat.

Because you can tell. Yeah, yeah. How can you tell? You can just see by the build of the hips. Like if an ass is fat from the front, you know when you see the fat sticking out? Yeah. You know that pussy comes like a high. There's so much humidity and health around that pussy.

Like those skinny girls, you know, when their legs are really separate, they like it's like a manikin and you can see it's like a wound of an axe. The pussy's like wound on an axe, no, no, no skin, no nothing, it's just like a man-a- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It took an axe and just fucking hit a mannequin. You can tell, dry a shit, so much, yeah. You need some... You need to do, you need to loop it up for, 16 minutes to even start fucking.

You know, we're still actually. Is it? No. Caves, you know, the little things that come down and go up. So the ones that come down because the dripping came and it made it think go like it so that it goes lower and lower and lower the more it drives down. That's what pussy is. A good dripping pussy is loose and it leaks out.

It's not the axe wound. It's the extra shit coming out. Extras shit coming out. Stalagmites because they're wet. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Or stalactites. And the pussy in Brazil, Colombia you will see, it will be absolutely crazy.

You know, we're going to be absolutely crazy. You know, we're going to be. you see like an ass and you're like this is illegal put it away get away from me lady yeah put it in yeah put it in put it in brazilian vagina that's good and they all wax too i'm a european so i love okay okay what are we talking about here wait google gives you this i guess so wait i thought pretty wild what um what what what's she doing down here that's a straight it's a straight razor blade to your fuck it what what are blading her butt something I like that okay wait is that even a human oh I mean good

technique though that's oh it's only fans obviously dude yeah you think this is like ugh okay well uh okay this this is what I'm talking about this kind of vagina yeah this is the kind that does not squirt this that's been squirting oh that's squirt's pretty squirt yeah this it's like nah been dry no stalactites I don't know. No, no, no, no, you can see some. You can see some coming out, some starting to form. No, no, no, no, this one, yeah.

Nothing. All right, let's shift back to Google Maps here. Oh, wait, right, wait, right, right. Okay, here's a good, here's a good one. Here's a good one. Here's a good one. What of these is a squirting one and one is not? This makes me not wanna have sex.

This makes you not? Pussy's not like. Pussy's disgusting. Not like a daytime thing to see. It's like pizza. Yeah. Pussy is like pizza. It's a nighttime activity.

Like I need one shade of a candle to see this animal. But with all these bright lights that you set up for 45 minutes, it's a little much. It's a bit much. When you get a prostitute in Tijuana, Bobby these advice is like, hey, look closely because you're going to have to take them outside before you go to the hotel and you see them in full light.

You want to see them in full light. Well, I got catfish too one time. You fucked a catfish? Like a chick came up. She said, sorry. And you were like, you're not a dude. No, she said sorry. Why?

She opened with sorry Because she used all these AI pictures of herself But it was like 3 a.m. She looked ugly as fuck But it was like 3 a.m. She was the only fish around So I just banged her anyway

I mean yeah You're a guy, dude Well I think that's a good end Of this first part of this podcast You're gonna see crazy tits, crazy ass And hostel chicks too Dirty Dirty

Dirty Dirty dirty in a different kind of way that you can imagine. It's like it's kind of hot, but it's like it's like caked on dirt. It's like a it's like a funk that's on them sometimes. Yeah, they smell. They've just gotten used to. Excited about the nature, all the hikes and stuff.

It's going to be. Excited about cool cities. The rock and roll in Latin America is cool. You know what I don't like about Amazonas like in my head? Snakes and stuff like that. I'm terrified. I'm sure. They'll be like big spiders that to scare you, they jump at you.

You know that? Yeah, I'm not, I don't like that. And a snake, dude. Oh, have you been, have you seen like a big boa? I've seen a big boa across the road. And it's like scary as fuck, dude. You see a big ass and a big boa. Fuck!

Yeah, that'll be annoying. And insects that will, like, bite you and you're dead. What about, there's like jaguars in the Amazon? I don't know. Is that a jaguar? That's like a bird. Oh, the black cat. Roar.

That's not bad. That's way closer than that bird noise you made before. I don't know. What? You think? It's better.

So, Jaguar, super scared. They like jump out of the tree. It's not like the cartoon where they're singing a dance with you. What was the cartoon? Which one? Oh, they have these butterflies, though, in the Amazon.

There's a cartoon of a boy who grew up in the woods in there that. friend who was Buma. A what? Jungle book. That's a there's a Puma there. What's this killed you? This is a blue morpho. I saw this when I went to my Amazon. No, no. It's just a beautiful what? Shut up. Yeah, that's them. It's this bright bright, crazy blue and you can't see it like that. Yeah. And then it opens up its wings and then it's just this shocking bright blue that you can't even understand. It's like electric.

Anyway, things like that, I'm pretty excited as it. Oh, fuck, yeah. Well, there's that in Brazil there's the butterfly forest. Are you going there? Go, go, Brazil, butterfly forest. Blue Morphor for Brazil also. Okay, well, it's just there's like, yeah, it's like a thing. Like, you say the word and then it's the thing.

Look at this. It's covering a fucking tree. Jesus. Are you talking about the monarch butterfly one? Maybe? The biosphere or whatever? Maybe. It's in Mexico.

It's not South America. Look at this. Fucking covering a tree. I don't want that. That's disgusting. The brown color is disgusting. And I don't want a big body. You know what the body?

If you actually look at a butterfly, the body is disgusting. They just got fly clothes on. The Atlantic Forest in Brazil is globally a eco-region with a high diversity of butterfly species. Hey, you want to hear something funny about American politics?

So I have a friend who works at the Forest Service and they kept getting all these emails bounce back saying cannot send, cannot send because they mentioned in the emails about the forest protection services the word biodiversity. And Elon Musk somehow got a bunch of power in the government and said

any mention of diversity will not be allowed. So literally when they're saying biodiversity, which means which type of frogs are in which areas. A monarch is trying to fuck. Yeah, biodiversity, kick it back. We can't have that. So now butterflies can't fuck us.

They're so scared to train. People. Somebody getting a DAI hire that they're fucking up the whole foreign service. All right. Anyway, I think we did it. So that, I'll look for that. I'm going to look for that.

That's beautiful, dude. Butterfly. Okay. Yeah, I'll look for that. But this whole chip should be fucking badass. I don't know. I'm excited. And Uruguay, the weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed,

country. First thing to legalize. I've heard it's amazing all these fucking... I will be smoking a lot of mota oh yeah yeah

that mud yeah yeah yeah yeah good just just weed down there yeah oh yeah they call them yeah right right right maybe go to some music festivals

I don't know yeah it's like that fucking the middle there is the most exciting I would say it's just it seems so dangerous Bolivia too

like I don't know it's just I'm excited to actually learn about Simon Bolivar he's somebody I've never heard much about, but everyone, it's a whole country named after him, all the banks are named after him, lots of streets. Have you watched that documentary that's on Netflix about Brazilian politics, about Lula and all that shit? It's like crazy. So crooked, right? Oh, it is like, it's not even,

it's like they send him to prison, like manufacturer stories, send the guy to prison. To for an enemy of like, yeah, yeah, just the president. They put, they put the president in jail, in jail because they found like a discrepancy in his, uh, in his books. Jesus. Yeah, it's so And they're going to kidnap you. Yeah. Well, anyway, buddy, you should come visit. I would love to. So I'll be here at the end of December down here.

Okay. And that means, and then I want to be here on the equinox around here. Jesus. That is September. Wow. Late September. October November. So between here and there is three months.

So if you pick a place you want to go to, uh-huh. Tell me and I'll tell you about when I'm going to be there. Fuck, yeah. You know? Tell me, and I'll be like, all right, it'll be in this couple of weeks. range and then like and then like if you get a ticket I'll make sure to be there then but so robberies a showstopper

robberies malaria malaria again if it gets too annoying I'm like I'm just over it I could see maybe stopping but I also can see like I'm gonna shift I'm gonna go back to Laos I'm gonna tell all this to draft Kings just so we can make accurate over's and unders they think I won't make it through this or they think I won't make it through London oh nobody believes it no well the London one is you're going against the whole world right now buddy buddy no one believes that shit but this trip is like 60 40 I've heard of but the London shit you can literally forget about that if you'll do that you'll prove the world wrong it's so funny because I've been telling them I'm like you know you guys said the same shit when I moved to New York

you're like what are you doing you'll make it you'll be back in no time and now it just seems so matter of fact oh yeah New York of course it's a great spot but it wasn't that before you don't think London's fucking awesome these guys have never been out of their five-star hotel what they're telling me how the streets are in a town what they If you're in Chile and the mosquitoes are hitting and you feel uncomfortable and scared. And then Tony calls her, Buddy, we're doing Kanye West. We need you on panel with Kanye.

I'll be like, can't do it. Can't do it. That would be nice though. Do it down here, Tony, doing Buenos Aires. Yeah, sure. Let's get Kanye kidnapped too. Let's get Kanye kidnapped. You can't spell kidnap without...

No, you can. You can spell it without Kanye. Oh, dude, I gave up a hooker once in Thailand. in Thailand for too many mosquitoes. Yeah. I went in there and I was like this and I was just like coming here. I'm like, lady, honestly, I want to.

This is so fucking uncomfortable. Get a fucking fan. Get a fan. I gave you the money anyway. Yeah. Listen, I can make $3 any time. Yeah. It wasn't necessary.

It changed your life. My favorite is when I overhear four and it's haggle hookers in places like this. You want to do your best. It's $8. That was Bobby Lee's advice. They're 60.

Put 80 on the table. Put 80 in the table so they know they're going a good job. You're already getting tipped. Yeah. If it's seven, give them 10. Yeah. Suck it dry. Yeah.

Not the children's book. You fucking hooker. All right. Well, Ari, I'll be back with a different hairstyle in fucking March and we'll do the end of this. Is this what you're going with? No, I'm going to shave a bolt. Yeah, shave everything. Yeah.

Before I go on these trips, I just go completely bare. Full Siamese cat. Yeah. That's the cat you look like, right? Siamese. I don't know. You look like a certain cat. Like, especially when you're bald.

Yeah, it's this cat. It is a crazy resemblance. It's literally crazy. You're literally that cat, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Why? But right now you look like the good actor

from Gangsoff, New York. What's his name? Daniel Day Lewis. Yeah, they're Jewish. Donald Day Jewish. That's the final pun of the episode, everybody. I'm going to a country where puns are not allowed South America. It's one of the most beautiful

countries in the world. Dude, if you're going to die on this trip, this is going to be so sad. But this is going to be so cool. I'll make a lot of... You will. Put the episode out anyway if I die, but it'd be funny to be like, this is always last recording.

It's just you talking about chicks get to the gunpoint. Like, such a bad host. Brazilian pussy's not like... I'm like, fuck, that wasn't the good one. All right. All right, this was, we are traveling. with Ari Maddie. Give it up for our first guest, Ari Shapiro, Shapiro. Thanks,

thanks Ari Maddie. Thanks for having me on your traveling. Okay. All right. Part two. Part in a week or two or three. Well, everybody, that was the episode. Thank you very much. I am out of here. I'm nervous.

I'm going on this trip and whatever. Thank you very much to the YMH Network for producing this podcast, Alan Kaffi, for editing. Thank you, Rie Maddie for coming in. He is on tour right now. You can check him out. Brookfield, Wisconsin, March 19th, the 21st, all tickets that are R.mattie.com, Brea, California, El Paso, Texas, San Antonio, Texas, Salt Lake City, Denver, Nashville, West Hollywood, and Austin, and La Jolla. All tickets

for a bit of R.mati.com. And follow him at Riematticom. I'm out, guys. I got nothing left to tell you. next week's episode I'll be making my return after eight long months on sabbatical traveling around I come back Tom Segora is the guest he's going to be interviewing me about my trip

and at the very beginning of the episode I have a pretty humongous announcement to tell you I want to tell you right now but I can't legitimately massive announcement on next week's episode of the beginning

please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening Ubi Chipping Pod on YouTube Ubichippin Pod on Spotify and follow us on Instagram at Ubi Chippin Pod guys next week it's a fucking big announcement All right

I'm out I'm nervous and I'm out Close this fucking studio down It's sad but I will hopefully return If I'm going to kill by drug dealers in Medell Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything Like packing a spare stick I like to be prepared. That's why I remember, 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline.

It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.