You Be Trippin' - Bangkok, Thailand w/ Colum Tyrrell | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

On this episode of You Be Trippin’, Colum Tyrrell rides tuk-tuks and busses around Thailand to experience its hostels, cheap food, and ping pong shows. In it, he talks about letting go of luxuries, avoiding scams, and his run-ins with prostitutes. The two also discuss saving money, border runs, and homeless white people. Travel tips: don’t drink the water, don’t smoke the weed, and don’t buy the suits. Other topics include: hot travel girls, exchange rates, and buckets of booze. It’s quite a trip! Sà-nùk! https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com You Be Trippin Ep. 10 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're gonna talk about travel today. It's UB Trippin', yeah. So let's be clear. When it comes to shipping internationally, can I provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm. The answer is FedEx. Okay. But what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about? FedEx.

Oh. But let's say that... FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx. Where now meets next. Hello, everybody. Welcome to You Be Trippin'.

Oh, I'm excited. Last one I did was so good. And if you don't know what this podcast is, it's not a travel guide. It's a travel experience podcast. We take you to people's, I don't know, their times in different places all over the world. It's fun. And today I have my friend Colm Terrell on. Colm is a funny new comic to New York.

He's from Ireland. What is that? The UK? Originally. He's hilarious. He's got his own podcast called, hold on. I don't know. What is it?

The Colm Terrell Podcast. The Column Tural Podcast. The Column Tural Podcast. I've been on there. And the last time we were doing it, we started talking about Southeast Asia. And I was like, oh, man, I got to save some of this. We really just talked on each of our Patreons about Laos. But I was like, I got to save some of this shit in Southeast Asia for Column. For you be tripping.

So, Column, where are we going today? Today we're going to Bangkok, Thailand. Bangkok, dude. What a fucking, what, it's got a lore to it. Yeah, yeah. I actually, when I went, I've been three times. Whoa. Okay.

Yeah. Because what happened was you arrive usually. Because you can't fuck all the hookers in the same day. Exactly, yeah, yeah. So it's like you gotta go back yeah um i don't even know if what if bangkok's the most hooker of the city in thailand oh like it's really not the most it's the other one then phuket and no phuket is huge and then there's another one. Um, I never went.

Fuck it. Yeah. Yeah. That one's, but that one's even the, the diet light. There's another place in Thailand where they all go. It's pure, just whore film.

They don't have a, well tell me, they don't seem like they have no stigma about it at all. Yeah. I don't even, I don't know. A lot of the hotels in Bangkok, I remember, um, wouldn't know a lot of the hotels in Bangkok I remember

wouldn't let you bring whores back that was like a thing interesting that was a weird they wouldn't let you bring the whores in for some reason

so my friend had this I believe in Bangkok might have been Chiang Mai where a whole at some point if you talk it's like brothels sort of

either massage parlors or yeah I'm not going to interrupt you're going to tell me but at some point, if you talk, it's like brothels, sort of. Yeah. Either massage parlors or... Yeah. I'm not going to interrupt you. You're going to tell me. But at some point, you talk to them a little bit before you just go off. Well... Especially the brothel ones. Tell me, what was your experience?

I don't know. Well, I never really slept with many prostitutes on the trip. Okay, that's fine. I didn't sleep with many. It wasn't, like, my ambition. I was also, also like 20 years old and I kind of like still thought that

prostitution was kind of gross. Sure. It's like, oh, to be young. Sure. Now it'd be a very different trip than this. Now that I'm 32. Absolutely.

But here's the thing as well. A lot, and there's like a, I don't know what they do, but a lot of local Thai girls, they kind of like, they are whores, but they're not whores

and I think they'll kind of figure you out because they want to fuck you and they're like well I'm not going to fuck this guy so I might as well try getting an extra 50 euro oh I thought it was

the other way around my friend was like we were talking he was like spitting game you know a little bit and like talking to him and then eventually she goes let's go back to your place

and it was like oh what do you mean it's like instead of doing it here let's go back to your place and he was like weary of, what do you mean? It's like, instead of doing it here, let's go back to your place. And he was like, weary of it or wary because he's like, okay, hold on.

This might, this could be a robbery or something, you know? But it was really like, no, no, you seem cool. I don't want to fuck you for money.

Yeah. I just want to have sex with you. Yeah. So she's like, this one's just my call. This is not a business transaction. Yes. Let's go back to your place and fuck. Yeah. So if I'm a business owner, I'm like, no, I one's just my call. This is not a business transaction. Yes. Let's go back to your place and fuck.

But if I'm a business owner, I'm like, no, I don't want those girls. Everyone's had the gray area of, what is this? Are you doing it because you liked it or you want money? So a friend of mine brought a girl back to the hotel. He met her at a bar and he brought her back to the hotel. And then the guy was like, we don't let prostitutes in there. And he's like, she's not a prostitute. She's like, oh, no, I am.

Yeah. And he was like, oh, sorry. He's like, I didn't realize. I thought you were into me. And then somewhere else in a different city in Chiang Mai, a friend of mine met a hooker at a bar. And he was going to go home. She was going to come back to the hotel.

And she was like, yeah, but I've got my friend with me. I can't just leave her here. So then I ended up bringing the friend home to the same hotel so he was back and we're in the same room two different beds he was fucking the the prostitute for money she was pet and i was banging the friend for free whoa because she was kind of like collateral damage or just baggage or whatever i'm not gonna not fuck my prudish of course yeah yeah yeah wait so tell me so you're 20 years old. 20 years old in college. From Ireland?

Did you just go straight to Bangkok? What did you do? Originally, I was going to Ibiza for the summer, and then my friend, Andy, he was going to Thailand, and we were both trying to convince each other to go on each other's trip. And then we flipped the coin, and he won. So he's like, fuck it. And then he just said, fuck it, let's just do both. So we went to Ibiza for six weeks. Six weeks? Six ibiza he's irish too he's irish too and what

so explain exactly the irish fuck is this gap year or is this just a summer this is just your summer vacation you have three months off between um college so we so cool i know you're closer to thailand than like united states would, but not that much closer. Irish people, I don't know where it comes from, but there's a burning desire to just leave that island and go as far as you can. Okay, so let's see. Here's Ireland. It's also over here, by the way.

There's two of them. Oh, okay. There's two Ireland. Yes. Yeah, that's Boston. That's what? I was joking, saying it's Boston. Yeah, there's Ireland there and Ireland there.

But maps are hard. Maps are hard to make. Wait, but it keeps going. Because it goes around. No, I see it. Okay, it doubled up. Yeah. No, I'm good with it.

I'm good with it. No, it's fine. Okay, so. It's the scale, this map, right? So, it's the scale. Yeah. It's a one world. So, Ireland's here.

Dublin. Yes. Thailand's where? Up here. It's a one world. So Ireland's here, Dublin. Yes. Thailand's where? Up here, right? I can't see. Malay. Philippines. It comes down.

It's like here. It's, yeah, it's there to the left. Bangkok, Bangkok, right there. Okay, there we go. Yeah. All right. So that's this far to get there. Yeah, I flew to.

Actually, you're just as close... You're closer to the east coast of America, the west coast of America. Anyway, the point is, you weren't closer than any fucking American would be. No, and then you have to stop off in India. But the Irish just have this burning desire to leave the island.

I don't know why. Everyone just gets the... Everyone just goes, see ya, we're gone. Doesn't matter. Summer's the best time there. It's crazy to leave there. Yeah, and back in

the day so i went in 2010 i think around that and it was cheap as fuck back then to go it was dirt cheap to go to go do you mean to the flight or to be there just uh both yeah yeah i don't know how much it costs now to be but even when i showed up there and i know we talked about this before it's like when i showed up there everyone's like oh the prices have doubled and it's like it was like still it was only like two euro for a meal isn't it amazing when someone will tell you like hey it's gotten really shitty here and you're like well this is my this is my first time here and i'm loving it this is the greatest place i've ever been i don't know yeah you must get that about new york all the time it was better yeah yeah yeah maybe yeah i was probably having a good time should i not be having a good time

i'm sorry exactly um okay so you get there from ibiza yeah we come from ibiza we fly in we land in bangkok and that's why bangkok too is this is my first time ever in asia or anywhere that's new like that yeah so what do you mean new just like a new fucking climate and environment and smell and look and every single thing is like just brand new

so it's almost over stimulating or you know like everything you see you're like holy shit just seeing an Asian guy asleep on the ground

is like what the fuck like you want to get a photo with it or you see these tuk tuks that people are people are cycling around in these little tuk-tuks. And you're like, this is back before they started bringing them into real city.

Do you know that they're foreign? Foreign? Yeah, foreign. Foreign. Foreign film. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, in China and in Southeast Asia, in Asia in general, that's where the definition of that word seems most correct. Foreign.

It's like this is all foreign. This is all out of my realm of comprehension. Yeah, and you're just your jaws on the ground. And when you arrive in Bangkok, huge city. It's busy. It's scary. It's cheap. There's traffic everywhere. It's scary it's cheap there's just there's traffic everywhere

it's scary what do you mean just like a scariness how new it is it's not like because it's a city too not everyone there is just out to be your friend

a lot of them are trying to sell you fake Armani shirts and stuff like that and people and you don't know how much something's gonna cost

and I think they can tell that you go I'll give the green curry and they're like 40 dollars and you're like no no no and when you show up as well it's like you're brand new so you don't know what to expect and you're like wearing jeans and you're like because it's day one of traveling so you're like wearing jeans and your hair is short and gelled and then you're meeting people who are finished they're traveling and they've been around forever what do you mean meeting but where so oh so where we stayed in every time i went to bangkok i stayed in the kosan road i don't know if you

went there did you which is like describe what kosan road is probably the most famous it's the most famous tourist street of bangkok what happens on kosan kosan kosan kosan road is what we always called it we probably completely mispronounced it for sure yeah sure

this podcast is not about actual history or anything like that this podcast is experiential yeah this is fucking Cullum's experience yeah

so the Kosan Road is where we you stayed there at a hostel or hotel everything because I went I made three trips there okay

and i'll explain why there was three in a minute but uh we stayed off the coastline road the first time in some like weird little hut thing so it was like it was like almost like a it was off so the coastline road is just a strip and it's full of bars and like hotels and hostels and all wacky shit. It's a party. It's a party street and there's stalls and there's loads of stalls.

Stalls of what? Just stalls of like fake clothing. There's just like people are always selling you like weird like Coca-Cola shirts and stuff.

It's like a weird place. Yeah, that's right. T-shirts. T-shirts, yeah. There's some like I loved Thailand, right? I heard Thailand. But there's also like

just weird ones. Yeah. Just like Coca-Cola. Yeah, or just But there's also like just weird ones. Yeah. Just like Coca-Cola. Yeah, or just a McDonald's shirt for some reason. They just sell these international brands. It's like they came across clothes and like, we got to sell them. Yeah, they just like found a random logo from something like BMW.

And then it's like just a BMW shirt. You're like, I guess I'll wear that. It's two euro. Yeah, exactly. It's bargaining, right? Everything? Yeah everything yeah yeah it was bargaining yeah and then the food the food there is gray because that's where you get the sauce let's talk about the that's where you get the what like the stalls again the street meat stuff how do you how do you this okay that's one of my favorite things to do anywhere yeah is going to street food the process process of getting it, the new tastes.

And you don't know what you're getting. How you sit there. We're going to talk about that. Yeah, yeah. Like the table situation out of those stalls. Oh, yeah. So the table situation over there at Coast End Road, it's like children's chairs.

Yeah, children's chairs. They're like these little stalls. Sorry, stools. These small little stools. But they're like for like, I mean, like kindergarten. Yeah, they're literally like pink and yellow and they're tiny. And you sit there like almost huddled over. Yeah, your knees are up there like that.

And you're with all these other crusty travelers who can't afford to go into a restaurant. You don't want to either. Did you even think of going to restaurants? We couldn't afford't we were broke we were on a budget budget like we were every day if we could save

ourselves a dollar we would all the time we would get the bus everywhere and then we would find out we would find

the cheapest stalls like we would walk around that's how poor we were we would find the cheapest stalls to save ourselves fucking 50 cent. What kind of food was in the stalls?

You had pad thai. It was always the green curry, yellow curry. And then it was like they had the different shape noodles. So they have the... And then there are a lot of smoothies too, for some reason. Smoothies? Oh, yeah. Smoothies.

Do you remember there was a lot of Thailand smoothies? Yeah. And I remember in... Might have been Chiang Mai, but they started figuring out that Americans like don't drink the water. You can't drink the water. You can't even, you can't even. Did you get any advice? It's like, you can't eat vegetables?

No, I don't remember that. Travel, they were like, because the vegetables are fine. They wash it in water. Okay. So anything cooked, you're good for amoebas and shit. But anything not cooked, water is the worst thing. So they rinse off a cucumber. You're really you just have diarrhea yeah so like you can't eat raw so whatever so the smoothies they started figuring out americans were like ah

nah it's a lot of water in there and then they would start smoothies um ice and water uh bottled water yeah so they'd be like okay i can okay, I can trust this. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, guys. I'm going to break in right now to let you know that me and Colm are both live stand-up performers. That's what we like more than anything in the world. We do like traveling.

We like live stand-up. And I have some dates to promote to you for myself and for Colm. I'm going to be taping my special Washington, D.C., April 26th and 27th. April 27th is already sold out. So hurry up and get tickets April 26th. If you know anybody

in the DC area, Maryland, Virginia, if they're cool, if they're cool, let them know and tell them to come on out and have a good time. If they're cool, if they're kind of dorks, it's best they don't come. I'd rather not sell out that 26th show than get some dork walking out angry, which

happens every show. Someone's threatening to rush the stage in Rutland. Everyone else is having a great time and someone threatened to rush the stage. How can you have so much joy and so much hatred from the same spot? We're just trying to bring people joy. It's because they're dorks and they don't get it. I'll also be in Austin this Saturday, 420 at the Paramount Theater. Some tickets are still available there. I'll have my grinders for sale. Dan St. Germain is opening. He'll be on this podcast at some point soon.

Everybody loves Dan St. Germain. Hilarious comic. He'll be opening for me. I got grinders. Oh, and also the pre-sale will be available for the vinyl for Jew at that Paramount show. And that's it. My special taping. AriShafir.com for tickets for everything

then May 9th and 10th in Los Angeles doing my storytelling show, Ari Shafir's Rename Storytelling Show different lineups both days, get tickets right now I think the first one's almost sold out second one's half sold out which means half empty also then Australia, straight to Australia from there

Melbourne, May 17th and 18th 18th is sold out uh adelaide may 24th canberra may 25th brisbane may 31st sydney june 1st and i'm done till 2026 column is also a comic he'll also be at the moon tower festival i think i'm doing a show on the 19th um somewhere and then hartford, Connecticut, May 3rd and 4th. Sunnyvale, California. Greenville, South Carolina. Seattle, Washington. Portland, Oregon.

Long Island, New York. Tampa in July. Port Charlotte, Florida in August. Jacksonville, Florida. Cincinnati, Nashville, Memphis, Burlington. He was with me on that entire bus tour we just did and you know how hilarious it is, that was only 15 minutes come see him for a full hour, which is 48 minutes in Ireland

all tickets are available at Linktree Colin, where's your website? share this Linktree oh come on dude, Linktree tree do you not have a website bro link tr.ee slash column TRL. What the fuck, bro? That can't be your website.

Is that really a website? You got a Facebook? Improv? Oh my God. Do you not have a website, you fucking loser? Wow. Patreon? Wow.

Nothing's coming up for your website now back to the episode it's fun to start experimenting it's alright I'll tell you

my body my horrible inbred Irish body could not, did not fit the Southeast Asian lifestyle weather or whatever. I was fucked. What do you mean? So first of all, the food all tore my stomach apart. And I've never eaten spicy food in my life.

And when I moved there, I said, I'm going to train myself to like spicy food. So everywhere I went, I i'd go give me the spiciest thing and then it was just like just like floods and then i think i fucked up my stomach i have to go to the doctor and get something for like an ulcer or something like that dude when you go to thai place like how spicy you want it mild medium hot or thai spicy yeah which is off the scale yeah you would think that would be the hottest but they were like no no hottest is the hottest and then there's Thai spicy which is like what have you been doing

Koreans like that too Korean can be so bad I remember on a scale I had something and it burnt my tongue right off my face and then she was like how hot do you want the next one and I was like well what scale is this and she's like that's not even a one I'm out

so yeah the stall did you see kids selling like Viagra and shit I don't remember kids selling selling Viagra but there was kids

everywhere Thailand is just kids everywhere at like what hour are we talking about all the time oh they're always selling something

there's always dirty faced just yeah seven year olds yeah trying to hawk shit at you trying to hawk shit at you trying to hawk shit

at 2am with like a pen that's like lights up you're like buy the pen buy the pen and you're like you'd give it to them just like cause they're like

street urchins I don't want your dumb pen yeah I already have a pen you loser that's another one yeah you show up the stalls get late

they start lighting up so they're selling like you know like those fans those hand fans that spin around but they light up in like a weird neon colour so everyone's just like music festival yeah exactly like that's just strobe lights and shit yeah um yeah so yeah the kosan road's just one strip it's full of stalls it's

full of hostels it's full of all the travel stuff you need so like what so you you'll need visas if you if when you're traveling so let's say if you're going to Vietnam next, you need to get your visa. So you would get that sorted in Bangkok. They do that on Kho San Road? Yeah, or they would at least have the travel agent, which would be like, all right, get the bus here, and then we'll get your visa when you get to the border.

So all... So you could hook up a visa for yourself. Like, I'm partying, but hey, you do know you got to do this in three days. We got to... Money changers? Yeah, I'm sure they had all that. Yeah, absolutely.

And a lot of people would go back to Bangkok to renew their visas because you can only stay 30 days or 60 days in Thailand. I think 30, but I might be wrong. But as long as you leave

for 10 minutes, you can come back in. It resets. Border runs is an interesting thing. Border runs, exactly. That was what they called it. So my friends in China, they had to do,

I think every six months they had to do a border run yeah because they're tourists I think you go for six months as a tourist but it was like sometimes it would go like

let's make an excuse to go to Korea for the weekend exactly and sometimes it would be like let's take a trip train over the border stamp

return immediately yeah straight away yeah Bangkok is interesting tell me I mean I gotta ask more about your Bangkok but it is

like to me it's the gateway to the Southeast Asia. Yeah. It's the most accessible of all the foreignness of that whole region. Yeah. It's set up, Singapore probably more, I haven't been there, but more like first world. Yeah, yeah. But still, Bangkok is everyone's first trip in.

They have international flights from everywhere. Yeah. Direct flights from Australia and everything. It just seems like you can get everything done in Bangkok and lose yourself. Well, it's a major city. And the places that I went were always touristy, backpacker, traveler places. There's a whole financial district whole, like, financial district where they have, like,

real, it's like real life. Yeah. They just have, but then it's also got the, like, the dirtiest, most horrible,

like, shanty towns where people are living on the river, just broke poor. Yeah, that's a weird one. if you're traveling on the trains,

you'll see it because, like, you'll go by skyscrapers and all the Manchester United fucking football players are hanging from the ceiling because they're advertising the AIG bank

or whatever and then you go across just a slum it's slums yeah just people living on the river just broke as fuck it's not even

a regular level of broke it's like almost homeless it's like you're homeless but you guys all live here does that make sense yeah like an enclave of just poverty people yeah and just like like siding like metal siding on one side yeah the wall is just um just like

this like iron sheet yeah and i remember them i remember going i just got malaria shots i was taking malaria medication like don't these people have to worry about malaria it's like yeah many of them die oh really i didn't know all the time yeah it's like it's not great they're getting stung by mosquitoes yeah we used to have to take the malaria tablets all the time and then i met we i traveled with a guy who just never bought it he's like i don't really believe in that and he was fine apparently it's much more like when you go up to the hills it's the hills i think it's the hills it's also like there's a season for it yeah season or whatever season so if you're not going to season a lot of the backers like there's a season for it, rainy season or whatever season. So if you're not going to season, a lot of the backpackers are like, that's an extra cost. Backpacking opens you up to really doing research and having better experiences because you –

like whatever I can to save $5, $50. $50 a month for malaria pills? Like, dude, I'm on 1,000. That's a big percentage. Yeah. The cutting money is crazy. I don't think I could ever do it again the way I did it then. I was 20 years old, and it was like every dollar we counted towards –

the way it worked was me and the guy, Andy, who we were traveling with, we both had the same budget of $2,000 for the entire trip, something like that, something crazy small. And then we said, all right, so our budget is every day we have 15 euros to spend or whatever. And then if we didn't spend

any money on a Tuesday, that meant we could add that to the next one. Great. So slowly we were noticing like the cheaper we got, the later days were slowly getting bigger

and stuff like that. Well, that's also cool because then you could like, what if you do want to go, like not scuba diving, it's too expensive, but like a more expensive thing. Yes, exactly.

Well, we have to have saved up. Exactly. You know? And we're not talking about a nutsy thing. We're like, hey, the train to there is $12. Yeah. So that's a fucking full day. Well, we did a lot of buses.

When we went from, I think it was from Chiang Mai to Vietnam. On a bus? No, Chiang Mai to Laos on a bus. On a couple of buses. Because the buses would only go so far in the mid-lens. You go to Chiang Rai, from Chiang Mai to Laos on a bus, on a couple of buses because the buses would only go so far in the mid-lens. You go to Chiang Rai,

from Chiang Rai you got to go all the way up. Yeah, that's exactly how we did it and then one of the buses, I had a seat, it was more like a minivan and the seat that I was on

was like, you know, the cap for the wheel. You know, like when the wheel, so like, Oh yeah, on the side.

Yeah, on the side. It's not a seat. So you're like, I was literally just sitting on this plastic seat had one arse on that and then my other arse cheek like on a bag of rice or something um and it was 12 hours it's like and then our bus broke down at one point in the hills of vietnam at one point you have to just let go of your uh luxuries or your first world luxuries yeah luxurious state of mind where it's like

they're like that is a seat. We're going to sell it. And there's this feeling the first week or two of like, uh, excuse me. Yeah. And then on this third week, you're like, well,

there's also, I'm, I'm not just like, this is annoying. I'm sitting in a wheel. Well, I'm looking at someone else standing. So I'm like,

this is actually a pretty good seat. Yeah. And then there's like locals there too, who are just like, they have a bag of chickens with them or whatever, and you're just like preparing for this shit. It's insane. It's just like they're transporting goods while you're like on a passenger bus. There was a big bus that everyone's stuff got stolen.

So this is what they did was they got this big bus, and it was more of a luxury traveling bus where they all have dorms and stuff. And I was on the way to Vietnam. And by the time they got there, they all took out their bags. And their bags had all been raided. So it's like someone was in there where they keep all the bags. Because they closed it.

Yeah, and then they're going through all their stuff. And they were replacing their phones with dummy phones and shit like that. Crazy. So they would take the phone. Some people had like a... Because your phone doesn't work in Vietnam. So you just shove it in your bag because you're not going to get signal around.

Right. So there was, yeah, there was no reason of having it. Once they figured that out. Yeah. Game on. And then people would open up their bag.

People would open up their bag and it would just be a shell of a phone like in the same cover that they, hoping they didn't notice for a while. Yeah. Some guy hanging on. Of course, but it's probably the seat.

He probably paid for that seat. Yeah. Or the bus company is probably in on it too Thailand is the is the main one I've heard that

like there are scams like grab your clothes grab your stuff out of your bag yeah like that's the one where it's like you really got to watch

them close the door there used to be a technique people would with their because they'd be sleeping on these night trains and stuff whether you they get your backpack

and you would like cover it in a plastic bag and tape it. So if someone came over to root through your stuff, you could hair dump, try to rip open. Yeah, if you're taking a nap on a ferry, you're sleeping on your bag, not with it next to you. You really have to protect it. Yeah. You're so tired. Let's get back to Bangkok. Yes.

So Bangkok. So where did we leave off? The Kosan roads. Yeah. Now, oh, I also, does does it like what's there to do the food's okay you're telling about the foods noodles and shit from stalls yeah classic noodles how much how much were they costing it was cheap it was a couple of bucks you know they tell you what my friend said about about it well i was doing i was went to a full moon party. Okay, yeah. Did you ever go to one?

Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Yeah. What's the name of that island again? Koh Samui or Koh Phangan? Phangan, yeah. Koh Phangan, yeah.

Whatever, something like that. I figured out later that Koh means island. Yeah, that's nuts. You could do four episodes on the full moon thing alone. I'm going to do some of these episodes where people, we're going to recover the same cities. Yeah, of course. Because because like Neil Brennan's Bangkok ain't going to be

your backpacker Bangkok yeah just not you know and then also like I'm going to have somewhere someone I know maybe you'll do some because you know

the questions asked will interview me about a place okay yeah because I've also been places of course that'd be great but yeah the full moon party

it's a separate one it's a separate one but anyway I was doing the math I was like hey how much is a chang I think you know those 20 ounce changs yeah and I was like you know one. But anyway, I was doing the math. I was like, hey, how much is a Chang? I think, you know, the 20-ounce Chang. And I was like, you know, it's like 100 baht.

I'm forgetting the math now. 100 baht. I'm like, wait, 100 baht? Because I can do it the other way. I was like, $3 is, or 10 bucks is this money baht, but how much is 100 baht? I was doing the, I was, I just said, what are you doing? My friend Sarah, I'm trying to figure out how much it costs. She goes, it's free.

Everything here is free. She was pretty much right. It's under a dollar, dude. What do you figure it out? 30 cents or 38 cents? Yeah. And once you can let go of that too, once you can start to just go, fuck, I'm not even.

I did that. That was one thing I did when I moved to America. The day I got here, I just said, I think in dollars now. And I never translated nothing. I refused to. I do that with Celsius and kilometers per hour. On those mopeds out there, I'm like, I know what 90 is. I'm not concerned with what it relates to in my old way.

Yeah, you got to just, otherwise you'll be just thinking about that and it's just bogging you down. Yeah, I love getting the UK. I'm like, oh, it's fucking like, it's like 28 out here. And I'm not even like, I know that means hot. The mental energy, by the time we got to Vietnam, I didn't even ask what the conversion rate was. Because they're just like, what is that, 2 billion, whatever?

Yeah, whatever. I know it's not going to be crazy. It's not, right. Isn't there a joy, though, of going like, do you know how little this costs? Yeah. A three-course meal with a fucking drink for this much? It's so fun.

Yeah, it's so much fun being able to just buy shit for cheap. So you don't remember how much? I don't remember exactly but I just remember

everything was a couple of euros I would have went by at the time. And then I do remember there was like a huge mall that you would go to and everyone would go

visit that because it's just this gigantic mall that has all sorts of weird shit. And the malls there are like, you walk in, it might as well be a street.

Like one floor is like legit, like fucking Gap and H&M or whatever. And then like each floor would change to like, suddenly it's just like some guy with a fucking, a table trying to sell you a coconut or something. Today's episode of You Be Trippin' is brought to you by Springtime.

Guys, it's a wonderful season. It's spring. It's in the air, as they say. Yeah, you can smell it. You can smell the flowers. So why not put your phone down and head outside? Don't worry. The Gaza and Israel conflict will continue without you.

It'll still be there. What will not be there is flowers on the trees. Yeah, for a limited time only, go out and see which flowers smell and which ones don't. This one doesn't, but it's beautiful, isn't it? Put your phone down, everybody. Put your phone down. You'll be tripping says get out and enjoy your life. There's so many flowers. Let me show you from you'll be tripping. Yellow ones. It smells a little bit to be honest. Nah, I'm imagining it. But still, I tried. Springtime.

The trees have flowers on them. It's amazing and it won't last very long. It's springtime. Bees are out. They're pollinating. What are you doing on your phone? Everywhere you go in the springtime, there's signs of life.

Yeah, it's beautiful. They smell great, they look great. Get outside and enjoy it. You'll be tripped and it reminds you that this is temporary. The whole life is temporary. We'll all be dead someday, just like these flowers. And just because these come and go quicker doesn't mean we'll have any longer term in

the blink of humanity. That's right, if you do mushrooms, you realize that we're all temporary. We'll all be gone someday. We'll be dead. We'll be souls floating up into eternity. And why not enjoy it in the small amount of time we have left? It's springtime, everybody. Get out there, enjoy it in the small amount of time we have left it's springtime everybody get out there enjoy it live your life you be tripping says it and i believe it flowers tulips i think maybe you think that's gonna be there in the summer no

definitely not in the winter look at that red white all sorts of stuff. What the hell are these ones? I don't know. Again, this is a limited time offer. It will be gone soon. What won't be here for... What won't be there is these flowers on these fucking trees. It's amazing. It's springtime. You can only enjoy it for a limited time, and that's what UB Trippin' says.

Enjoy it while you can. Don't worry, there won't be a new episode of UB Trippin' until Monday with Duncan Trussell talking about India. Then not another one until the following Mondayay with louis gomez talking about jamaica springtime everybody there's also hot chicks wearing barely any clothes that's my message now let's get back to the episode and then they had huge markets the markets were also what did you get into how many days did you stay in bangkok i think the first time i must have spent like two nights oh and then the I must have spent like two nights. Oh.

And then the next time it was like two nights again. And the last one was either one night or two nights. That's about my limit. Yeah. So we went Phuket to Bangkok to... You arrived in Phuket? Yeah, because I was late. Oh.

It was a big turning point for me because I was going to do this Australian trip on the way to... Maybe on the way to Australia, but maybe not. I think not. No, yeah, I was going to go to Australia first, then straight from Australia to the Full Moon Party. Yes. And I booked a fucking movie. A shitty, shitty movie. And I didn't know at the time that I could turn these down.

Yeah, okay. It was called... I can't even say it. You I could turn these down. Yeah, okay. It was called, I can't even say it. You thought it was too big to change? Yeah, Zach Galifianakis and John Hammer in it. Okay. And Sacha Baron Cohen's wife and then the fucking Wonder Woman lady

and it was like, it's like, this looks shitty on paper but I'm like, I gotta be misunderstanding this. Yeah. And then it was like, well, it's shooting right,

so I had to cancel Australia or push it back six months. Yeah. And I had to meet my friend in Phuket so he flew to bangkok and then flew to phuket we didn't know about the book like 10 hour bus man or one hour flight in hindsight should have taken the buses no i would disagree completely see the country that way you get a feel of it yeah i know but what my biggest regret of that whole tour, or whatever you want to call it, the trip was not having enough money to just fly.

When I flew back from Vietnam to Bangkok to get that flight out of there, I flew back and I said, fuck it, I don't care. I'm spending the money. That's Vietnam to Bangkok. That's different. Yeah, but the amount of times I spent just on the side of a road waiting for a bus to get fixed.

Oh, right. They're cooling down the fucking brakes. Yeah, well, everything was a breakdown or they'd pull over at the side of the road. And you're just like, I guess I'll smoke. I guess I'm having a mango for dinner. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, and they're selling you shit. So it's like, well, I'm not going to be without food while we're here. Yeah, but it's the most, you know what? In fairness, it's the most fun. I just like, I do remember like being stuck at a gas station for hours just with my friends, just having the most fun.

Because you're not in a hurry to go anywhere. You're there already. This is the trip. This is the trip. You're not headed to the fucking thing. There's nowhere to go. Yeah, it's like, let's see where a rest stop is. Exactly.

Somewhere, I don't know if it's Cambodia or Vietnam, somewhere on the border. Wait, so went to Phuket just for a day. Yes. Met him. He was there. Then went to Bangkok for two or three nights. Did a show. They paid for a room for two nights.

Pretty cool. So he got $10. Then went to the full motor party. Then Chiang Mai. Then back to Bangkok. And went back to Bangkok. It was like, there's no reason to be back here. Yes.

Yeah. So the reason we arrived in Bangkok, went down to the islands, did full moon or whatever. We all became best, like we made a big group of friends in the hostel. Love the group. And then they were like, In the hostel where?

In the islands? In the islands. Okay. Yeah, at the full moon party. And then they were like, well, we're all going to Bangkok now. Let's all group up. We'll only,

because they were going to go to Chiang Mai too. And we were like, we just want to go straight. And they were like, well, we're going to spend two days. They were like, fuck it, let's just go back because we had fun the last time and then the

second time you sat there sort of go alright this isn't the same because then when you arrive there it just hits you so much that yeah and then it's like you're like asking you like you're still nervous you're like ordering stuff and you don't even know how to say thank you you're like kapun ka maybe yeah and they

try to copy people like kapakun yeah Kapunka I think was the one Kapun no I don't know I don't know whatever we were making an effort

yeah we're making an effort whatever I'm paying if somebody's like Taki I'm like fair enough there you go here's your burger

Taki too alright so you went back and you stayed at a hostel with all those people? Yeah, we stayed in a hotel in the second. The D&D Hotel, which is a famous place for all of the Irish travelers to go to. Oh, really? D&D, Cozen Road, it still exists. I just Googled it.

Really? Yeah, yeah. I was checking to make sure. Because, again, these places change so fast that they might just ban tourists or something. They tried to scrub it up. It's just a pedestrian street now, I think. Kosan? Kosan Road.

It's a pedestrian-only street now, and there's less stalls, I think. Why? They tried to clean it up? I guess it just had a bad reputation. Yeah, it did. That's where all the filth was. Of course.

Literally, it's like Vegas. It's like dirtier, dirtier Asian Vegas. Mixed to like Times Square. Yeah. So what'd you do on time? Did you go drinking? Every night we got fucked up. All day, all night, we were just fucked up constantly.

And then you arrive and you're getting these buckets. Even though the Bangkok buckets aren't really part of the vibe there. Here's what I noticed. I guess you gotta explain buckets. I know, because it's like, so in Paris, you're nowhere. I just was there. Here's what I noticed. I guess you got to explain buckets. I know, because it's like, so in Paris, you're nowhere, I just was there,

you're nowhere near the Eiffel Tower. You're all the way across town, but the stalls have like fridge magnets of the Eiffel Tower because you're like, well, you were probably there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or in French Polynesia,

they're like, Tahiti? You're like, I'm not on Tahiti. I'm not even on this island, but they're like, hey, tourists, you'll get these.

So it's like, buckets are the island thing. Buckets are the island thing. And then the rest of Thailand was like, well, it's a Thai thing. You guys like it,

it'll remind you of your time on the islands. But one of the benefits of being in Bangkok is you're in a city so you might as well get like a fucking vodka coke or drink all your beers

and get all the stuff that you can get. Right, and you can keep going in. Buckets, you don't want to go back to the stalls to get more beer so you have like, this is an hour's worth of boo Right, and you can keep going in. But you don't want to go back to the stalls to get more beer.

So you have like, this is an hour's worth of booze for me and my friends. So for people that don't know in Thailand, they just have, they literally like a fucking sandcastle bucket

like for children. And they give you ice and they'll give you like either a Coke or a 7-Up or whatever. A base, non-boos.

Yeah, and then you'll get a Red Bull. Red Bull, that's the other base. And then you'll get like your get whatever your liquor is then. Multiple liquors, I thought. Was it? I can't even remember.

Was it two you'd get? Two or three? It was just bad. Yeah, and you'd tell them which ones you'd want. Yeah, exactly. You'd go rum, vodka, whiskey, and you're like, I don't know, rum and whiskey? And I remember, too, we were so cheap.

There used to be a thing where they'd always be like, they'd crack it in front of you, like a safety thing, because people got nervous or something that they would crack that there would be like a noise they would make when they would open these drinks because they'd refill the liquor because yeah but we were just like refill i don't give a fuck what's like this is not for us this is for some white chick who's afraid to get fucking because they would so they started doing this thing where they turn around open and be like wait what's that from that's not jack daniels, but whatever.

But right. They may as well have not billed it as Jack Daniels. So it's like it's local fucking whiskey that we found here in goddamn Thailand. Yeah. Okay. So you're drinking. You're drinking. Hanging out with who?

Thai people? Just random people. You're just meeting people on the street. Thai people? Thai people are there. Yeah. Mostly travelers. Travelers.

That's what I want to say. You mostly, when you're in a, maybe I'm wrong. When you're there, you're not meeting locals. Quickly, but you're not making friends with them. Not making friends with them. Now, having said that, so here's when I got off the coastline road. I ended up going home with some prostitute. I didn't know she was a prostitute. I talk about it on stage sometimes.

But she was like, oh, let's go home. You just met her? Where'd you meet her? At one of the bars, playing pool. So it was like me and some other white guys

were just playing pool. And she was just talking? She was just hanging out playing pool. Thai girl? Just a Thai girl. Because these Thai girls want dick. There's like,

and you just got to figure out are they prostitutes? It's like a very gray line. I'll tell you why. Because when I was there, I was talking to a guy who lived there and his girlfriend and she goes there's so many hookers here and it's so fucking easy to get and there's no stigma to it that if you're a non-hooker and you're trying to like you gotta wait till the fifth date before like you're just never gonna get to a second date it's so easy just like if a girl's like i make him wait and keep

pent up he's like i'm gonna go fucking the I make him wait and keep him pent up. He's like, I'm going to go fuck on the way home. So you're waiting. It doesn't apply in the society. So the regular women, the non-sex workers are also very loose sexually. Yes. And also you can't play hard to get when the guy's traveling through. I'm only here for five days.

No, not that actually, two. Yeah, exactly. If any guy is listening and you want to get pussy, the international rule is you got to be where people are moving. So if you can lock down in Key West and you just have a new tourist every week, that's it. Because they want to have their Key West adventure. They want to have their adventure.

They know it's not going to be a long-term thing. They don't have the time to play. There is no bluff. There is no like, I'm going to make you wait. It's like, I don't care. You'll be gone tomorrow I don't yeah

that's like if that's what you're looking for every country in the world that's the best option good note so you meet this chick playing pool meet this chick playing pool

what did you even talk about she spoke English yeah she spoke English I don't know what we talked about I remember she said she had kids she did yeah she said she had

like three kids or something drunk talk just drunk talk usual shit and then she said come back to my kids or something drunk talk just drunk talk usual shit and then she said come back to my house and so I was in the hotel

where they couldn't bring the people back I guess but she was like I'm not a prostitute I was like I'm not sleeping with you if you're a prostitute

I said that to her she's like I'm not and she's like alright so we got in the tuk tuk and we go back to the like out in the asshole of Bangkok

like like far from Bangkok's far Bangkok's massive it's spread out, it's an hour sometimes in cab to get across the city it was like a concrete slum kind of it was a poor enough place but it was like all

concrete buildings and we went back to the house and then she was like how much would you pay me to fuck me and I was like we just talked about this she was like come on and I was like no so then she started sucking me off and she's like how much would you pay me i was like all right let's like let's figure it out well your morals change pretty fast when they start sucking you off you know what i mean also so she's not she was a prostitute she was a prostitute but i feel like you know what she wasn't like

i feel like she just knew I was weak. I think she could just sense that she could. She's like, I'm not a prostitute, but I will take money from you. I want to get the money off the guy. Yeah. And then she was like, it was like 200 baht or whatever the equivalent was back then. I don't remember. And I only had like 100 baht on me.

And then I was like, oh, tomorrow I'll give you the money. We'll meet up because we were supposed to go to the cinema or some bullshit. And then I ended up banging her. Oh, there's another one I end up I was raw dog there right first time

not the greatest idea but you know what Catholic I'm a Catholic boy so you know you gotta have some should I pull out

no oh my god dude here's what happened I know what happened I've had sex this is genuinely what happened though I was banging her

and then I was like I'm about to come and I went to pull out and she grabbed she grabbed my ass and huddled me in. Oh, my God. That's the most cashed out. Isn't that kind of consent-y kind of thing? Oh, it's 100%. It's 100%.

Listen, I got to tell you, it's not that bad. I don't know what everyone's complaining about, but yeah. And then I was like, whatever. Because if she if you if she gets a white kid in her i think that's you're sending money every month well not this white guy but usually yeah for sure 500 bucks a year sue me send a lawyer yeah um but yeah so i ended up banging her whatever and then i left the next morning also if she has if she has a white kid with you or anybody that she's had sex with

in the last two weeks she's milking all of them yeah this is your baby I know you want to come but just give me 500 bucks a year 500 bucks a year for my kid

I could do that yeah I'll have a couple of kids that's fine I would do that just for she's getting that from six dudes yeah that's what

that's the prostitution thing over there was crazy so sorry keep going. So, oh, yes, on the next morning then or whatever, I'm leaving and it's early. It's like 7 a.m. or something. And I leave this, like, the projects, I guess they are, like the high-rise buildings. And then all these kids are going to school.

All these kids are going to school. What do you mean, these kids? Her kids? No, no, just like the local kids are all on their way to school. And they're all wearing, like like white shirts and a black tie and they're all dressed all in a very weird, because they dress weird going to school there. They have this like old, I don't know if it's like French uniforms

left over from. I love these details, yeah. And they all see me. Do you have pictures of that? No. No, no. And they all see me and they're all like surrounding me going, what?

They're all like, come on, come on, come on. Because I'm like the first white guy they've seen well like or at least in that part of town they would never see I'm you know six foot plus white guy and these

are just tiny little and they're all like they're all like dancing around and pulling out of me and like laughing and doing crap I'm just like like I just came in a

prostitute I'm like I'm sobering up I'm trying to get myself a taxi and I can't even find one yeah trying to get back to the coast and I wish I knew like I'm sobering up I'm trying to get myself a taxi and I can't even find one yeah trying to get back

to the coastline I wish I knew I always regretted not knowing that address I just I just wish I knew I couldn't

I couldn't even guess because we just she just gave the address and then I just gave the address back to coastline road you have no idea I couldn't not having a clue

I've always been I just wish I knew more information. And then that prostitute ended up finding me on the Coastline Road. Because we were supposed to go to the cinema. And I was like, I didn't want to meet up with her. I didn't want to give her the money. Yeah, sure.

And then she ended up finding me at one of the bars. Hey, motherfucker. Yeah. She was like, hey, you owe me that money. And I was like, I'm not giving you the money. And then she had this big Asian guy came over. I was's like you got to give her the money and then they walked me to the atm and i handed her the money and then she goes uh she goes you made me pregnant she goes i'm gonna abort your baby and i swear i went fucking finally something we can agree on fuck off

that was it that was like a client you made me pregnant that's what she said it's a little early to mr period absolutely it's a little early to Mr. Period. It's still dripping down your leg. Like, fucking calm down. Yeah, also, the amount of booze. That means that's what she was trying to... There was a whole thing. It was a whole probably scam or whatever. She seemed like she was into it.

Yeah, but then she's like, I'm not having a baby with some guy who won't pay his fucking bills. I will abort this one. I'd love if I had a little Thai guy. I'd love to go back there and just bump bump into some half asian version of me just yeah i can't do your irish accent i'm trying to say that in an irish accent yeah sometimes it's like so i was coerced into prostitution damn damn even though i was very firmly like, no.

Tell me about just in general, partying in Bangkok. Yeah, partying in Bangkok. Again, it's the coastline road, so it's all these young tourists. Like that picture you showed me of like, let me see that again. It's just like, youthful people blackout or close to blackout

having the time of their fucking lives. Yeah. Yeah, so this is his photo. That's me and my friend Andy and that's just like two random local Asian girls. Oh my God. I'm not sure exactly

where that was but I'm pretty sure. And you're just having a fucking We're just wasted and then you're getting Where are you? What do you mean that's you

that's me yeah wow so I'm 20 fresh 20 years old 19 years old or something like that fresh faced just had my braces off

and stuff like that so I was like wow bombed oh here's something we gotta talk about oh

all the bracelets yeah and the wrist yeah I just remember that's just like the fashion wasn't it just yeah but you can get them made you remind me because i don't you can get them made they'll they'll make them say anything with beads it's just as bracelet goes around usually it's like i love bangkok yeah or whatever but then it's sometimes they're just like they're made to order like leftovers like oh somebody got that one so I put I got one for my friend

Don Barris King of Late Night Don Barris and I was like I think King Don or something like that and they're like okay sure whatever

but one is like I fuck boy dick you can just like you can get like you can get anything for a friend and they just give they don't know

it's just like it's not even letters to them it's like shapes yeah yeah I do looking back at those photos because I took them up for this podcast And then they just give it. They don't know. It's just like, it's not even letters to them. It's like shapes. Yeah. Yeah. Looking back at those photos, because I took them up for this podcast, it was like the fashion or whatever. The style is like so like goofy that it only works when everyone is like, there was no

way I would ever have a thing wrapped around my wrist like that. Bracelets with words. There's like six bracelets up my arm. And then it's like a singlet shirt or whatever you want to call it that says Budweiser. Although that's the type of hat they would wear. That's a traveler's hat right there. Oh, yeah. That's an efficient traveler's hat.

Yeah, and then the girls would always wear those. You know those flowy traveler pants? Elephant pants? Elephant pants. would always wear those you know those flowy traveler pants elephant pants elephant pants and if you have a good and if you have a good ass in those pants it's the hottest thing

in the world it's hot and when you see them here it's a sign of like hey I travel yeah and there's always like they hug the ass you call it elephant pants

if you don't know what you're talking about Marissa put something up it's because it's got graphics of elephants like all around it like line some designs going down

yeah amazing here's the lamest I've ever seen in a long oh go ahead keep talking I was just saying

because the way it always goes up the crack of the ass yeah and it jiggles perfectly perfect it's like and it's nice

it's not like slutty or anything like that it's just like very complimenting it's too hot for pants and she's just wearing like a fucking like a I don't know what you call it like a belly top or whatever and she's just wearing like a fucking like a

I don't know what you call it like a belly top or whatever because she's traveling and then she has like beads going down her hair the hot travel girl is a very unique

beautiful woman it's unique it's not it's not underarm hair they still take care of that yeah yeah they're still well washed for sure

it's strange but like it's borderline hippie yeah by the way you know who else wears elephant pants dudes sometimes like it's borderline hippie yeah by the way you know who else wears um elephant pants dudes sometimes

and it's the lamest shit in the fucking world fuck off no this is for the women this is for the women women wear pants men wear shorts

alright yeah it's just their version of covering up from the sun and still wearing shorts it's so thin it's so thin yeah

it's barely like wearing anything but it's loose it's not like like wearing anything. But it's loose. It's not like Lululemon. No, it's loose. But for some reason, if you have a good body, that's why you got to go. What are they called?

Elephant pants, is that what you call them? I call them elephant pants. Yeah, for sure. What were the toilets like in Bangkok? Toilets in Bangkok were fine. Everywhere, proper running water,

sit down. Sit down. Or they'd give you the option. Most places have the option. They would have like a hole in the, like so you go into like a restaurant or wherever to go for shit, they would have like regular cubicles, and then they would also have like two or three like squat holes.

Foreigner. Farang? What do they call foreigners in Thailand? I don't know. I don't know. Malai? Yeah, squat holes. But that's their normal.

That's their normal. And then like we'll ask the tourist. We'll ask the tourist to sit down. Well, that's what we're doing now is and then like we'll have some tourists we'll have some tourists sit down well that's what we're doing now is with all the squatty potties is we're because we've all have all the whiteys have hemorrhoids

yeah because you're supposed to squat for some reason they started sitting because of the lords in England or something they were like I'm not squatting

and then we all have hemorrhoids so now we're getting the squatty potty which is just the equivalent of what they do naturally right so when you're having a shit with your squatty potty your is just the equivalent of what they do naturally right so when you're having a shit with your squatty potty

your knees are up around your chest sometimes those like real Asian people like third like village ones will come to America's place

with toilets and they'll just stand on the they do on the seat and squat over that like I guess you stand up on it

they do it if they're from Haitian yeah you see footprints on there Turkey no a lot of these shit I've worked with a lot of these shitty Haitian shit? Yeah, you see footprints on there. Turkey. No, a lot of these shit, I've worked with a lot of these shitty Haitian-style

country people in construction, and I'd go into the cubicles, and there'd be two big fucking cement prints on the toilet. Facing, they face, like A.C. Slater,

that's the way they make it. They'll face towards the wall. Towards the back of the toilet? Yeah, they face that way. So they'll stand, they face that way. So they'll stand, they'll walk straight in, stand up,

and then they lean back and there's fire, fire in the hole. It's crazy. Did you go to any sites or anything in Bangkok? Yeah, I remember we went and saw the palace and then we went around.

You got into the palace? No. The palace was just a thing you saw on the outside, I believe, if I remember correctly. And I do remember at the time, we were worried because the king at the time was sick,

and we were afraid that he might die during our trip, and then the whole country goes into war. It's a crazy political place. It also went fine, but the fear that was there was like shit. Well, they had locked down the airports not long before us because I think it was like, I believe they call it the yellow party and the green party maybe. Their political parties are just two colors.

It's what they call my poops. Huh? It's what they call my poops, either yellow party or green party. And then something like the yellow party won, and then the green party who were in charge and controlled the army were just like, no. They just said, this is my... Nah, I know,

I know the election, but also nah. Yeah, what are you going to do? So then they were like, the yellow party was like, they shut down the airports. No one could fly in and out. They just locked up the city.

They took, they put the whole city on like an army patrol. Whoa. And we're like, we won. And then the other party just had to go, okay, fine. Whoa.

Like, that's incredible. And then, oh, we went to the, here's what we did right second trip in Bangkok we won't you need a day off from all this

and you need to go back to reality some of this tourism stuff is great when you're hiking and then after like four weeks you stumble across

a McDonald's it's like fucking it's just I need to feel normal again you go in and get a Big Mac and a Coke because you're sick of just eating off bamboo leaves or whatever

yeah and it's the same shit it's noodles, noodles, noodles it's not like here, it's like I don't eat burgers every day once in a while no salads out there right no a mixed green salad no fucking way

that's why we had smoothies all the time because it's the only way to fucking get anything. That's why I always... People love Thai food and I never quite... Because I ate so much of it and it was like the street versions and it was just like every single day.

I never quite... Got into it. I don't love Thai food like other people do. I love Thai food. Do you? I think I just ate so much of the same shit every day that it's like so like it reminds me of prison nearly the inability to afford real food so so what you got back and you're like i just need a mcdonald's oh yeah we went to the cinema

we went to watch harry potter at the cinema that's interesting just to see that i want to hear the differences in cinema there so i did this in my my first few days. I went to see that, what was that? It's a video game and they made a movie out of it. It's like with like a knight and he climbs buildings and he flies off.

I don't know. And he like jumps out. You know, it's like Knights of the Templar kind of guy. Oh, is it? I don't know. Anyway,

so we went to see that and everyone's eating, coming in and out. Okay. Sleeping, eating kettle corn popcorn popcorn it wasn't like regular popcorn yeah oh these are differences yeah i remember let me hear them i do remember that you're selling weird shit like you'd show up and it would be like a beef stew or something

or something like fucking outrageous where you're like is there popcorn they're like no no but you get it like a chili dog or something wow i remember it was it was unique and we just needed to relax and kill some time and take the edge off the travel ac ac yeah now this is a thailand opening they do the the little commercials then there's a fucking montage of the uh of the king's life so they they show you the king and everyone has to rise so everyone has to stand up and like pray to the king or salute the king and they show you him from an infant

like growing up through his life to present day and there's like music playing and then at the end there's like a big like woo to the king thing and then you sit down

and then you fucking watch the movie wow yeah it's nuts that is interesting right because like that's every single time they do it

there's like some weird that is interesting there's some weird's just every single time they do it there's like some weird that is interesting there's some weird rules I don't know if they're always true because I do remember everyone was always begging for the king

to pardon people white guys get pardoned they get sent to prison in Thailand and they have to spend like 20 years because they were caught with something

were you worried about smoking weed or I was so worried because I was a fucking idiot. I bought a few books from white guys who were in prison in Bangkok.

So I was just like constantly... That's a common theme, a trope in travel writing is being in a foreign prison. Foreign prison is a huge books and they're interesting because a lot of these guys get... They're gangs in these prisons.

You never know. Some guy just accidentally smuggled something or was framed for something or whatever and then he spends 15 years just like on a cement floor

like the prisons over there are fucking hardcore bad like just where where they fight each other for fucking dinner and people are getting stabbed constantly and everyone has like

fucking scurvy and shit it's just nasty and you're like a white guy who just happened to fucking have a joint on him. Yeah. Just like, I don't know. I like to get high before meals. And then the king would pardon you.

The king would sometimes, every now and again, it would be his birthday. He's just like, yo, all the whiteys, come on. You're free to go. It's crazy. I love the king. If he didn't do that, it would really kill tourism. I think there was a lot of that. Yeah.

They were like, nah, we got to get these people. But I've heard of, because the king is so loyal, money is sacred there because his face is on the thing. So you're not allowed like rip up, apparently someone went to prison for ripping up some money

and it was because they ripped up the king's face. It wasn't because of the dollar. No. Wow. And he went to prison and someone definitely got arrested for climbing a palace thing.

They were drunk and they climbed up on like a statue and they arrested him. Boom, you're in prison. I love how they, well, we just don't fuck around about those.

Yeah, absolutely. You came from a country you fuck around. We don't fuck around. Yeah. I like the cultural difference shit for like movies

where it wouldn't even be something you would go to Thailand for, the Bangkok Florida experience, but it's just like, somebody talked about like the fonts on signs as soon as you get

to the airport. Like that's a different type of font. You feel like you're in a different place and movies is actually probably a pretty good one they have they had a fucking montage for the king before the movie started and i'm sure everyone there was like yeah right movie yeah it's a movie of course yeah i'm sure that king is dead and i remember he is dead i went after he died everyone hated the son because apparently the son had some wild stories of like forcing

because he's just this rich kid rich kid fuck up yeah and he forced you remember forcing these maids to fuck dogs and shit

he had a birthday party for his dog spent a million dollars on a birthday party for his dog yeah people were like hey man we're still

third world yeah I know we're a good tourist spot but we're still third world that's kind of flaunty

yeah just constantly fucking up and his dad was so beloved yeah he took over he's like i like photography he took over at like 70 and it's like oh shit like he should have just been a prince for forever yeah yeah i think they loved from my understanding they loved the father they came because he he he kind of stamped out the heroin trade or something. I think he was like, I'm pulling us into a tourist world. Yeah. From being an outsider.

It's like, we're getting rid of malaria in the big cities. We're making this tourist friendly. And so he made them all a lot of money. They're doing better. Their neighbors, Myanmar, are super poor. Oh, yeah? Yeah. He studied in America, that king, too.

These guys, they're traveled. It's not like they're just hill folk yeah so we went to that and then of course there's the ping pong shows which is like oh Jesus how do we not talk about that

the biggest thing how do we not talk about that the go go bars the ping pong shows what wow so Thailand's insane so you go to a strip club

essentially it's a sex show and they do all sorts of tricks and obviously if you've been to Amsterdam you've probably been to a sex show we've been to loads of tricks and obviously if you've been to amsterdam you've probably been to a sex show we've been to loads of sex shows over the years because we used to go to amsterdam as kids because it was like not kids but teenagers because it's cheap as hell yeah and

but when you sex shows a lot of the time they're like underwhelming it's creepy two people just fucking in a room while everyone's just sitting there like just in silence like and you can see the guy is like like, just... And then she's like this. And then they turn around. Like, a noise will go off, and they'll turn around, and they fuck. Like, that's the way it was in Amsterdam.

It's not like they're not into it. They're clearly just, like, doing the thing. And his dick is just so big. He's not even hard. He kind of just, like, has a big dick that you can kind of splint into her. So you're sitting there going, like, this isn't fun at all.

Splint into her, yeah. Yeah, but then in Thailand all the girls they have tricks they all have certain fucking tricks it's so fucking wild famously

it's the it's the ping pong trick where they'll teach themselves to fire from kegel exercises or whatever

they can fucking shoot ping pong like poof and they're accurate they're pretty accurate they'll catch you between the eyes from 20 feet away it pong like and they're accurate man they're pretty accurate they'll catch you between the eyes from 20 feet away man and what do they hit it what do they shoot it at they all sorts of stuff there's like ball like like like beer pong they'll like lob it into balls or they'll lob it off your fucking they'll like get you to come up and open your

mouth shoot into your mouth it's so gross because anything that comes out of there like it's you are still a tie hooker yes and i don't want anything that's been in your pussy near my face or on my skin. If you don't mind. Ma'am, ma'am, if you don't mind. Yeah. Do they do the darts? They did the darts, yeah.

Tell them about the darts. That's another one. So I guess they get a straw and they put it in them and they'll be able to shoot it. They can, whatever way they can get the air or something. And what do you do in the audience? Oh, there was like the balloons above the head. You hold a balloon above your head

and then they lean back. They just have a dart in their pussy and you're like, wait, no, no, no, no, no. They're like, it's good, it's good. And you're like, dude, if I get a dart of fucking tie hooker pussy, then I'm a tie hooker. Absolutely.

But you hold this balloon. The accuracy on all Thai people in every form of job is insane even their fucking elephants play harmonica it's insane some of the stuff these things do they pop the balloon it just goes

and hits a fucking wall behind you they could be playing in professional darts 180 easily It just goes, and hits a fucking wall behind you. Dude, they could be fucking playing in professional darts, some of these guys. Just, 180. Easily. And then there was other ones where they pull stuff out, where they go like,

pull this ring or whatever, and then it's on a ribbon. And then they just pull it and pull it, and then they're running around the stage. And it's like a mile of ribbon just fucking up this girl's pussy. Someone told me this. I never saw it,

and I wish i did see you about a bird someone someone would keep birds in her pussy live live birds they would lob them up the pussy because what they'd have to do is it's probably pretty sad they'd get their womb removed or something and have like a fucking empty box in there and then they'd be able to keep the bird up there and then in the middle of a show they go like a dove would fly out crazy just crazy how much did that cost

what did you just drink and like you would just drink and watch yeah that was it did they do the thing where they

ask what your name is and then stick a magic mark go ahead yeah but this is also they've done this in Amsterdam too

so this is like an international trick is what they'll they'll get you on stage. And this happened to me before in Amsterdam. They bring you up on stage. They're like, volunteers, volunteers. It's all just guys doing volunteers.

It's also not sexy at all. It's not sexy at all. It's just impressive. The ping pong show is not sexy at all. You've got to be crazy to find this attractive. You've got a boner doing this? What the fuck, dude? You're into clowns and shit. It's just an impressive thing. It's like a find this attractive. You got a boner during this? What the fuck, dude? You're into clowns and shit.

It's just an impressive thing. It's like a party trick, really. And one of the things, they'll bring you up, they'll take your top off, they'll give you a bit of a striptease, they'll ask you your name, and then they'll lean down and start rubbing their cunt all over your chest. And then when you stand up, then it's just your name written in perfect penmanship, like Colm was here. Wow. Yeah. Awesome.

And you're just like, what? It's just crazy. And you're 20 years old. 20 years old getting a ping pong bounced off your head from a whore. While you're just drinking the cheapest beer in your life. You're just like,

this is incredible. Who's there? Who's at the show? Just all strange tourists. So you would find it. So when you go onto the street, just constantly people with mopeds and um tuk-tuk drivers going oh ping pong ping pong show go go bar all this stuff so then you go all right bring us the five of us we're all gonna go and you would head over and

then they'd bring you somewhere and then there's always again there's so many scams you'd have to be worried that they might just bring you somewhere and rob you right you have to be worried because it's an outsider thing so it's like or what eh. Or what I've heard of in Thailand, they'll bring you to a souvenir shop and be like, I'm not, they'll drop you at a souvenir shop somewhere. And then like, unless you buy something, we're not.

Suit shop. Yeah, suit shop. On the way to the airport, we're like, hey, no suits, we've got to go. And the guy's like, okay, but stop here, I just got to pee. Like, okay. And then it's a suit shop.

And he's like, yeah, I got to go, man. And he's like, yeah, just take a look. I'm like, hey, not buying, not buying. Take just got to pee. Like, okay. And then it's a suit shop. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I got to go, man. And he's like, yeah, just take a look. I'm like, Hey, not buying, not buying. Take me to the hotel. And the guy,

he's so fucking mad. Cause he gets a kickback. Yeah. It's like, yeah. He hates you. I don't look at my backpack. How do you not know the difference between the fucking travel?

If I'm with a backpack, there's no room in here. You're not seeing any space for a fucking suit. I, I bought a suit when i was leaving on the way out on the way out and i went to a guy he took my measurements and picked out some whatever yeah and i was like it was the whole thing was tailored and i had like a light blue it was like a light blue suit and i went back like a day later to pick up the suit and i think

i'd already paid for half of it. It was terrible. The fucking fabric that he used was like sandpaper. Like it was like a rough, it was like a hard suit. It was like it was made out of cardboard. The color wasn't the same. It was awful. Oh my God.

It was the worst. I don't think I ever wore it once. I just traveled home with it and just left it in my wardrobe for years. The guy saw me coming, he ripped me off like a motherfucker yeah absolutely he was like this idiot the hong kong suits tom rose told me about it he's like this my suit maker rocky you got to go to him he's the best and i was like sweet how much like how

much is it how much was yours i'm sure it was like 60 euro yeah so he was like 300 bucks i'm like 300 bucks that's a real and tom's like, yeah, dude, this is not like this is not Thailand. Yeah, yeah. You're not getting a fucking $50 suit. Yeah, yeah. You're getting one of the best pieces of clothing in your life. Yes. It's a $1,500 suit that he's given you for $350. Yeah. And if you get a $60 suit

in Thailand, that's, it's just fucking it's not real. It's not, you couldn't wash it. It was hard. It was like it was like, was like it hurt it hurt to put my arms up for a fucking podcast election yeah

yeah exactly I would love to go back and experience it again from a wealthy point of view like not that I'm wealthy I'm saying like to actually have the money

because people go to Thailand for like honeymoons and stuff and they'll go spend in nice hotels and things like that like I wonder what that's like I have no idea what that's like.

So the cool thing is, nice hotels, at least in, I believe it was Chiang Mai, like a nice hotel was at the time, 2017, not crazy long ago,

$25. Was it only that? $30. Because the hostels are $7, $8, $9, you know? So for $35, you've got a pool, you lounge all day.

It's just real nice. So we're not talking about as a wealthy person. We're talking about not as a poverty-stricken person. Just not as someone whose every dollar matters. You know what I want to do after we talked on the Patreons? Yeah. Colm and I did a swap cast for Patreons. We're like, we don't have the same Patreon listeners.

So we just talked about an early version of this, of You Be Trippin'. Yeah. I already knew I was doing it, but I was like, let me practice with this. And we just talked about Vientiane and Laos. Exactly, yeah, tubing and Laos. Tubing and Laos, yeah. And I remember the feeling afterwards. It's just like, God, I got to get back there.

I was worried even today because I go, the itch you get it's just like what am i doing well i get it as much during my bangkok as you did for uh ventian no but i think on my i'll see i know later last time i left i was like i need to go to fucking ecuador or something here's what i was thinking why don't we get a group of like 12 comics yeah go go Not just do it on an American vacation. Two weeks somewhere. Yeah. One city. One country, I mean.

Yeah. And here's the way I would plan it. Tell me right or wrong. We'll have four or five days. Hostels only. We're all staying in hostels. We might have to split up. Yeah.

Whatever. But we'll meet up in hostels. Pick some city. Maybe two. Maybe a six-hour bus ride to the next city. Wherever it is. maybe two you know maybe a six hour bus ride

to the next city wherever it is one of the days it's hey everybody go take this bus there take this bus there take this bus there

go sleep alone one day find a hostel sleep alone yeah come back here tomorrow or the next day like you're on your own for one day

oh it's like a challenge nearly thing sort of but also like go experience this fucking fun time absolutely of like meet somebody in a hostel

don't get a hotel. Figure it out for yourself instead of relying on your friends. Yeah. Maybe even two-date and then come back and be like, oh, what did you guys get into? Yeah. Just more drinking. More advice. Yeah. That's the whole thing, too.

Yes. The lack of plan is my favorite part. Like, the spontaneous lack of anything was just phenomenal. I was in Florida recently, and this is the first time I've ever felt it since that trip, and there was a storm, we couldn't leave,

and they were like, it's two days for the next flight out. So I was like, fuck it, let's just stay for another five days, because every time I had planned, it was already canceled. But that's kind of how traveling was like.

It was like, oh, there's a storm, you can't leave today. We're like, we'll just stay for another two days. Or we arrived in Phuket. We hated Phuket. fouquet we arrived there we were one night we booked the hotel for two we said fuck it we're out of here first thing in the morning gone i'm not like we're not returning your money it was like what was nine dollars it doesn't matter we're out of here i'd rather leave

tomorrow than stay in this shithole for another fucking 24 hours three hotels one day one day hostels yeah because i because me and my buddy he was smarter than me he's from seattle and we went and got a place like i just want to sleep seemed like a nice agoda or or hostel world okay yeah they had apps you know you could like bed bugs like it's a bed but fuck party not you know um look at reviews and so our friend ryan from newcastle uh he went to a different hostel and we're like all right it's quiet it's fine our hostel. And we're like, alright, it's quiet. It's fine. Our hostel. And Brian's like, dude, it's the best. Parties. Everyone's playing cards every night. There's a fucking meetup. It's great.

And my buddy was like, hey, I'm going to go to that one. I was like, yeah, me too. Let's just get out of this one. But he paid night by night. I always get worried that they're going to fill up and kick you out. So I paid for three nights. And then they're like, hey, I'm taking my stuff. I'm going on a date. I was too embarrassed to say I'm leaving. I know that I can't refund my money. So I my stuff. I'm going on a date. I was too embarrassed to say I'm leaving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that I could have refunded my money, so I'm like, I'm going on a date trip. That's where I'm taking all my stuff with me, and I'm just going across town, you know? Met a chick there, and she's like, I'm not fucking you in a hostel dorm room.

So unless it's a single, you know, and it wasn't, so then right next door. Did you say, look, this is the thing. It's like, I don't want to fuck in the hostel dorm, and then you go, I'll put a towel up. I'll put a towel up. So that's the international, the hostel thing is you're in an 18 bed dorm.

And if you're banging someone, you would get your towel and you would like hang it down. In between your bunk bed area. You can still see most of the stuff. Like a towel is only going to fit so much. And if not, it's only a tiny bit of cloth though you can still hear them slapping cheeks you know go to the shower yeah anyway she was like not doing it so so i was like i'll get a room so i got a hotel room for like and this was like the second night there for like maybe maybe 20 20 dollars for a nice shower yeah we start making

her she's like hey you're a bug spray i I can taste it. I was like, sweet. I'll take a shower. It's good if she can take a shower. Got blown. Then she was like, let's have sex. I was like, you already blew me. And then I just couldn't fuck. But anyway, that night I had three rooms.

Yeah. And probably at the time there was a party where you were like, I'm wasting this money. And now you're like, it was like $35. You could lose it. I wouldn't even know. The drinking with other travelers at hostels is just the greatest thing. It's always like, where have you been?

Where are you going? Where are you from? And then they're like, you talk to someone, they're like, I'm from Lithuania. And you're like, what's that like? What's that like? Yeah, you're actually very interested. Yeah. Which is what this podcast is.

Exactly. If you went back to Bangkok, the last time I went back to Thailand, just I was like I'm taking a flight straight to Chiang Mai I'm bypassing Bangkok I have no interest in it it's so fucking dirty to me I hate it yeah I would

I would go again just to see how it's changed see if I can remember streets and see where like it was like a nice little fucking stall I used to go to

see if that still exists but I don't know if I'd spend there too like again I was 20 we're getting fucked up like I don't know if i want to be around a bunch of 20 year olds anymore that's like that would bug the fuck out of me

i'd still want to get fucked up it's also it's a sad place sometimes you'll come across these um like homeless white people and you go what are you doing here how did that happen how are you the homeless white people in bangkok they'll come up and ask you for some money and you're like bro what what happened? I think, like I always thought people just did acid and they fried their brain or something. No, you know what it was?

What was it? I have enough, I'm on a travel trip, the same one you were. That's not a unique thing. It might be unique to your friends in Dublin, but it's not that unique in the world. Yeah.

Travelers go out there. I have enough money for, I pay for my flight out to begin with. I have a thousand a day in my ATM and I have enough money i need 200 to get back yeah and then they're doing heavy drugs they start like going through their money they're not working and eventually they're like well let me dip into the fucking travel back money yeah yeah and then eventually they just can't get back and now they have to get little jobs here and there save up 10 bucks yeah for some food

it's whatever they can't get the $200 yeah in working in fucking menial jobs in Thailand with drug addiction yeah so now you're just

homeless in Thailand and then you wake up your passport's probably gone one day and then you just like it's definitely expired it's been 8 years you can't even afford

to find the embassy where are you gonna work yeah yeah you can't afford the embassy I'd rather be homeless in a in the western world Eight years? Can't even afford to find the embassy? Where are you going to work? Yeah. Yeah, you can't afford the embassy. I'd rather be homeless in the Western world. Yeah, for sure.

That's not, I know it sounds nice to travel out there, but I just don't think there's, there's a very thin line to experience it. Oh, I just took some notes. I want to make sure that. Yeah, tell me, because we've got to wrap this up. We're at the hour. Yeah, no, that was it.

It's all just the food, the party, and the tuk-tuks everywhere. Glad you took notes. Tell your friends when they're going to do it. Like, yeah, I took notes. It's locked. What else? Let me see. You did what?

What were you going to say? As I read your notes. It was mostly just about how overwhelming it is when you move there. The smell. I like how you mentioned the smell. The smell is disgusting and it's unique. It's not garbage, but it's just a Thailand garbage. It's a thickness to the smell. And it's gross.

And the steam. It's like New York. It's like the steam shoots out and you're fucking good. Because you've had 100% humidity for weeks now, not just one day. And the traffic laws are so unique. They drive everywhere. They just drive everywhere,

like all over the place, the traffic laws. Funny, when I was leaving, I got, something happened, there was, I can't remember, but they shut down traffic

for some fucking reason and I got stuck at the mall because buying gifts. So I got back, by the time I got back to my hotel, I was afraid I was going to miss the trip.

Yeah, we had the two. So I went up to a guy on a moped, and I go, how much to the airport? And he was like, you know, 20 bucks. That's far. And normally you haggle him down. And I was like, how long does it get there? He goes, 25 minutes. I go, you can get me there in 20 minutes.

I'll double the rate. And it was the scariest thing. With all your shit on your back? I'm holding him, and he's driving up on the curb. He's flying in and out of traffic. He's going down the wrong road. It was the scariest thing. I remember trying to be like, yeah, you don't need to do this anymore.

It's okay. I think I'm actually ahead of schedule now. Yeah, yeah. And he ripped it. He ripped it. Wow. That was the scary. Because normally you go, how much?

And they go, 20 baht. And you go, 10 baht. And they go, okay. For him to go, how much? 20 baht. And for me to go, I'll double it. Let me just leave. I don't give a fuck.

Now there's no haggling. Also, this money, it's not real anymore. Why am I not going to cash it in? You're going to buy a croissant at the airport. Yeah, you're not going to cash it in. They're like, oh, do you take quarters? Oh, wow. But yeah, you should do some comedy travel thing.

South America is probably the easiest to convince of. See the garbage guys going to the non-married one anyway? Yeah. And then like, yeah. They wouldn't go. They wouldn't go unless they could set up

Antoides in Ecuador. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call them. Thanks. That was great, dude. Bangkok. Now we've been to Bangkok. If I can cross another one

off the list hell yeah um where can people find you on Instagram or at Colm Terrell across all social media

C-O-L-L-U-M C-O-L-U-M T-Y no Y T-Y yeah you said I oh

T-Y I think it was a pause-Y? Yeah, you said I. Oh. T-Y. I think it was a pause. All right. C-O-L-U-M. At, which is like an A with a circle on it. C-O-L-U-M. T-Y-E-R-E-L.

Two R's. C-O-L-U-M. T-Y-R-R-E-L-L. Yes, you did it. Across all social media. The Column Terrell podcast. Ari was a guest. Please go check that out. Start with that one.

Appreciate it. And I'm on the road, so columnterrell.com for all those dates. Okay, great, dude. This is fun. All right, everybody. That's it. That's the episode. Thank you very much, Column, for coming and telling us about degenerate behavior in

Bangkok. That is the kind of travel I like hearing about. The old you who you wish was the new you. That's a certain type of travel you can only do as a someone in your 20s. Broke and just making it work. Fun stories. Fun stories from Kali Cocktails. He is a

hilarious comic. Make sure to check him out on the road. All those dates hold on I have his link tree right here I mean we'll put a link to it in the description of the YouTube or of the or of the

you know Spotify wherever you're watching or listening to this podcast make sure to subscribe wherever that is you know subscribe to the Patreon. I'm not sorry, Patreon. To the YouTube. Leave a comment. Leave a comment. Tell us your stories about Thailand. Tell us better stuff to do than get drunk

and mess with hookers in Thailand. Don't forget to watch this comedy special that's out right now. It's a half hour special and his dates, Moon Tower in Austin this weekend. I'm on the show the 19th. Hartford, Connecticut, Sunnyvale, California, Greenville, South Carolina, Seattle, Washington, Portland, Oregon, Long Island, Tampa, Port Charlotte, Jacksonville, Cincinnati, Nashville, Memphis, Burlington.

All places I was with him. Uh, Detroit. I was there. Cleveland, Charleston, Charlotte, Raleigh. Yeah. Uh, if you liked him for 15 Charleston, Charlotte, Raleigh. Yeah. If you liked them for 15, you'll love them for an hour.

And I am taping my new stand-up comedy special Friday, everybody. Friday, April 26th in Washington, D.C. Get tickets at rhbeer.com. April 27th is sold out. Like I said, if you know anybody out there in the D.C. area, if they're cool, let them know. If they're cool, let them know.

Come on out and have a funeral of sorts for this material. It's going to be a party. I'm happy with it. Let's just say that. Without tooting my own horn too much, it rules. Subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. Leave a comment for the algorithm. Subscribe.

Let's get it over 50,000 views right now. Subscribers right now. We're close. Let's get it over 100,000 before I get back from Australia. Yeah, I'll be in L.A. doing my storytelling show May 9th and 10th. Australia from May right after that. Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, Canberra, and Adelaide. And then I'm done.

Today's episode is produced by your mom's house network, a network run solely by a man who's too frightened to go to Thailand himself. And it is edited by Chris Larson, expertly. Chris Larson has recently gotten out of prison. He was wrongly imprisoned for killing a man. Turned out, after further evidence, it was a woman that he killed. And the courts were forced to overturn

a double jeopardy. They made a movie about it starring Ashley Judd about his entire life. Chris Larson, we're happy to have you editing podcasts. Until next week. Next week we got a great one. On Monday. Next week we start every Monday only. Duncan Trussell. The illustri Monday only. Duncan Trussell.

The illustrious, creative Duncan Trussell telling us about India. A trip he took when he was a young lad. India. Saw some wild stuff. Definitely check in on Monday and then after that

Gomez will be the next Monday and we'll just do once a week after that. Thank you. That first month has been amazing. What a success this podcast has been and thank you all for making it happen. I do appreciate it. Until next week, everybody. Wait, how do you say goodbye? Kop krum kop for tuning in. I remember

that. I remember that, but I'm saying it wrong. I'm Ari Shafir, and I appropriate different cultures and mess them up. See you later.