You Be Trippin' - Big Jay Oakerson Goes to Germany & Amsterdam | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir
Episode Date: August 3, 2026Follow Big Jay on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bigjayoakerson/ SPONSORS: -What if you actually controlled your money? Get started with Rumble Wallet and use the code TRIPPIN5 to claim... $5 in US Stablecoin (USA₮)! Download now: http://wallet.rumble.com/trippin Void where prohibited. No purchase necessary. Offer available to US residents only. Offer not available in New York State. Must be 18+. Offer is available for a limited time and for the first 1000 wallets activated and funded. Restrictions apply. Details and full official rules available at http://rumble.com/promoofficialrules . This is a paid advertisement for Rumble Wallet. Rumble is compensating me for this ad. -Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/7chyhxwm #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit https://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. -The Everyday Earbuds Classics are the perfect back-to-school companion. Go to https://buyraycon.com/TRIPPIN to get 20% off. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring! -Head to https://Superpower.com and use code TRIPPIN at checkout for $20 off your membership. Get 100+ biomarkers tested every year. Plus a personalized health plan and on-demand care team. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Big Jay Oakerson is back to talk about his mini tour of Europe from his early days in comedy. If you thought his last trip to South Africa sucked, wait until you hear about his series of unfortunate events in Germany and Amsterdam. From losing his luggage to getting swindled in the Red Light District, Jay's time wasn't the best...but at least it makes for a great story! They wrap the episode with a little inside scoop about The Roast of Kevin Hart. Tschüss and tot later! You Be Trippin' Ep. 130 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:38 - Being Poor 00:14:02 - Big Jay Goes to Germany 00:25:38 - Fatty on the Carnival Rides 00:39:07 - Black Pool Party 00:50:35 - Next Stop, Amsterdam 00:56:39 - Red Light District 01:03:24 - Trip Grand Finale 01:14:23 - The Roast 01:32:29 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello, Trippers.
Welcome back to a banger new episode of U.B. Trippin.
We welcome the return of the king, Big J. O'Cerson.
That's right. Trippie Award winner for Worst Trip of the Year, 2024.
He is making his return to tell us about Amsterdam.
Big J. O'Cerson, if you don't know, is one of the best comics working today.
Legitimately, maybe the best live performer in the world, maybe of all time.
Maybe you've seen him on as specials as They, They, Them, directed by my director, Eric Abram.
Or Dog Belly, produced by me, one of my great, great wins as a,
in the stand-up comedy world.
And he's here today to tell us about Ubichibra.
Big J is, guys, you got to see him live.
His stuff, dog belly on Netflix, they, them on YouTube.
They're all great.
But to see him live, this is really see his joy.
He's legitimately one of the best.
Maybe the best.
I'm not joking.
You ever hear a musician where you're like,
oh, their stuff is good.
But then you see him live and you're like,
it's a whole other level.
Billy Strings, Mews, the last dinner party.
Danny Brown.
When you see them, you're like, oh, my God,
I didn't know it could.
be like this. And that's what Jay is. Every single time you see him is a whole different show.
I suggest any time you can, do yourself a favor. It's a guaranteed good date night, good friend
night. Go see Big Jay O'Crison on the road. But first, we've got them on an episode of you be
tripping. Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. Do me a favor. A lot of people get
unsubscribe without them knowing it. Go right now. It's the best way to support this show.
Click the subscribe button. And guys, sit back and enjoy one of the true joys of comedy.
Big Jay O'Kerson telling us about Amsterdam.
Yeah. Big J, back.
Trippy Award winner, making his return.
Thank you. Thank you.
So you'd be tripping. What was your award?
I know what it was.
I think it was craziest trip.
Worst trip.
Worst trip. Yeah, worst trip. Chris O'Connor won it last year.
Oh, yeah. It was, yeah, because it was going over.
Yeah. My life fell apart, and then I went South Africa.
Just using calling. What was South Africa like? The calling card system wasn't the best.
Yeah, yeah.
It was pretty rough.
I had to get worded to back home a couple times.
You had to go get yelled at.
A lot going on.
For sure.
But you're back now, Jay, fresh off the roast.
And now we're going to do one about where?
An early comedy trip to Germany and Amsterdam.
Those two countries.
Yeah, that's all I ended up making it for you.
Play the music.
Where you've been and where you're going?
This is our East Travel Show.
Oh, yeah.
We're going to talk about travel today.
It's you.
Yeah.
That was music, Jay.
Nice.
Yeah.
I like that.
That was a theme song.
It got me hyped.
It's not the same as the Legion of Skanks style theme song.
No, no, no.
Outback campfire vibes.
Yeah.
It's more of a conversational energy.
Yeah.
Hey, guys, guys, come on.
Yeah, we're the theater at the higher volume.
They flicker the light.
Yeah.
The light flit.
of podcasting.
Also, my co-hosts on,
I'll do this stuff later, I guess.
On Legion of Skanks, as of right now,
definitely not as of when this comes out.
I'll be long gone.
This will be retro.
Jay, let's talk about this trip. It's pretty cool,
because you're one of the, you don't really travel.
No. Yeah.
All of my traveling
ever, especially internationally.
Yeah.
Has always been comedy related.
Nothing.
I did The World Stans Up in London.
So I did a couple gigs around London.
That was the only reason I went there ever.
Okay.
I went back there.
One, I was back there at a time before.
I was right there for Black Show promotions.
In London?
Yeah.
Staying with a guy named John Simmit.
It was very sweet.
And he was the yellow teletubby.
No.
Yeah.
Already or green?
No, he was like at that point already.
Maybe he was done doing it by that point.
Was he a billionaire?
He did comedy.
No, he had like a nice,
like what do we call it, like a townhouse,
like attached to other houses?
Where Tel Tulletub is completely engulfed?
And you would say, yeah.
So they're like, try a negotiation.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Goodbye.
You're taking what you could take.
Yes, exactly.
Can anybody do it?
Hey, we like having around the office.
So we, okay, we'll miss that.
So we'll pay you a little bit, but.
He goes, a bum would do this for food.
If the union let us pay bums in food,
We would save a lot of money.
I don't think the voices were them either.
It was like the people inside of it versus the thing.
It's like, uh, you do your hands than good.
It's more impressed to be a power ranger than a telotuby.
Mm-hmm.
Because at least the power ranger, they have to assume you do the, uh, karate.
Oh, yeah, you do a jump kick.
But I stayed with him and did, uh, these black shows out there.
And they were, I was in the black circuit at that point, so they were like fine.
I had a decent time.
But again, it was everything like traveling.
I've never also traveled ever.
with money
where I can go to the place
and be like,
well, yeah,
I want to stay in a good place
that I want to stay
and it's,
I've just kind of like,
what are they giving us?
So I've done,
I was at his house
for a couple nights
with like wonky, spotty internet
so many years ago too,
you know, like,
uh,
and then,
um,
and then ended up staying in like,
whatever there.
I think me and Will Silvance did a couple of the shows together.
And they put us in like,
whatever they said,
it's like their version of Holiday Inn was,
but it's like caught beds.
It was like,
It was so bad.
The beds were associated me and Will shared a room, I think.
It was like,
as far as you look, you're a bit of a debutante.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Actually, maybe that's what held you back from actually going places.
You're like, I'm not doing this in not style.
Right, not the brookist way.
And if you can't do it style, then you're like, I just won't do it.
Yeah, I'd rather not go.
Exactly.
One time we were talking about the subway, I don't want to say at a hotel that I can afford that because it sucks.
We were at your old place on the cut with a bum block.
Yeah.
Bum block nine.
Oh, yeah.
Bumlock 5.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Bannon still walks by there.
sometimes.
Really?
And I'm walking,
and she's like, no, hold on,
I was going to stoop.
Something here.
I remember something.
Yeah.
Something good happened here.
What was it?
But, uh,
oh, shit,
what was I going to say?
Oh,
I know.
And we were like,
let's take the subway to wherever we're going.
And you're like,
no, no, a car will be faster.
And it's like,
okay, you always take a car,
whatever.
And then I looked and I was like,
actually,
I know there's traffic right now.
It's like 35 minutes in a car
and 20 in a subway.
And you're like,
yeah, we're going to take the car.
Yeah, it's just,
Yeah, because, you know, we could, like, sit there and roll the window down and maybe even talk to a guy and let me smoke.
Yeah.
Oh, those are fun.
Yeah, so if you had some money, what you do now, fresh off the roast, you're a multimillionaire.
I've been here.
We all know what you got.
There's millions.
Millions upon millions of dollars.
For doing those sick jokes.
No.
Ask me there, me.
Not a millionaire at all, but I will say that I could definitely, like, yeah, I could.
It's made me think more about it now, when someone's like, hey, you want to go to wherever, I go, I guess I could, you know, when, you know, when.
People start saying places like, well, somebody will be like, dude, you got to see Italy.
Like, I'm going to be in a shanty or something.
Or in like, you know, their holiday in that's going to be bad.
Yeah.
And then it's like, oh, no, I guess I can go now and like pick a nice place.
I'm going to do like that's going to be the trip.
Yeah, you get Airbnb and like Florence or one of those.
Is that an Italian city?
Yeah, I think so.
I don't know.
Florence, Italy.
It sounds right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's, yeah, any of those places, you know what I mean?
Turks and King, you know, any kind of like a tropical place sounds fantastic if you could do it right.
I would love to see you right.
I would love to see you write an international travel tour of Seamelesses.
I just say, what can you get sent to your Airbnb or hotel in all these different spots?
Oh, hell yes.
Yeah, dude.
No, hand it here, bro.
Hand it here.
That's not what we're talking about.
I need it today.
Thanks, buddy.
What does this change?
Here, keep the change.
Sean.
Thank you.
Only because it was under $10.
You know, you say, it's funny.
It means something to it.
It means something to them.
I had that idea.
I was behind a guard.
garbage truck in my neighborhood.
Yeah. The other day, and as the truck pulled off, the guy on the back, cash fell out
of his pocket. And he's, you could hear him screaming, screaming to the guy.
Like, yeah, sure. You can see him. Screaming to which guy. I was like, stop.
No, screaming to the guy driving. Yeah, like, please stuff. But he just keeps going. So I get out of
the car and I picked it up for him. No, it's like, you know, drive it up. And I drove it up to him.
when he comes over my win,
it was a $10 bill.
But I mean, he was like,
thank you so much, man.
Thank you so much.
You're like,
yeah, you're welcome, man.
I feel like I was doing more of a favor of you
than I actually was.
And it's like,
oh, I guess,
I guess it was pretty...
For a hundred you'd back up and go the other way.
He was pretty stoked about it.
Like, I was surprised how stoked he was for that $10.
Like, man, I almost lost that $10.
I'm like, damn, that sucks.
But I was there plenty of times in my life.
I remember finding $20 in a deli once and being like,
it might as well have been like $2,000.
I was like this changes my whole week.
Uh-huh.
My moment of when I realized I was like I was in different categories.
I went to a Yankee game with Brenna Zizi and it started raining.
Drizzling, but they were gonna play, you know?
And he was like, let's get, and he's already been on a TV show for fucking eight, seven, eight years about that point.
And he was like, let's get ponchos, like disposable ponchos.
And they were like 10 bucks.
And I was like, yeah.
And then it hit me like, I've never been able to afford.
I would just stay wet.
Yeah, yeah.
He's just going to buy a poncho.
No way, 10 bucks.
I wouldn't have that.
And then I was like, oh, I have...
Well, it's like poncho or you're like,
yeah, the 10 bucks was kind of for like hot dog and soda.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, I'm like, no, it would hurt me.
That was our game.
We used to play with the Sixers.
We used to do that.
We used to, if you waited until, like, end of the game,
you can get like 10 buck tickets.
Yeah, exactly.
Or two for 20, because, you know,
they weren't even that good,
but it was like Iversons for early years.
Oh, nice.
You used to go sit in, like, the worst seats in the house,
but you were still there.
Yeah.
And, you know, they get deals for it's like family night.
It's like $10, you get five hot dogs.
And we're just, my friends would be like, hell yes.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Or you'd sneak stuff in or it was just like not a thought of getting like a beer or a game.
I was like, $18.
Merch.
Merch, any for anything.
Merch for anything.
Never.
I was never like, I never walked out of like a stadium when you go to a game and be like, I got to grab a jersey.
Yeah, no way.
No way.
The back end even.
It's like, that's 150 bucks, man.
No way.
Yeah.
What?
I went, I did the DC one with Shane.
Because he was like whenever you want, I was like, oh, yeah.
Kind of home, you know.
So it was so fun.
But they gave, it's one of those where they gave everybody the jerseys.
So it was the Wizards.
I asked my brother, I'm like, you still pull for the Wizards?
It goes, oh, hell.
I'm like, bro, I got a personalized shirt made for you.
Yeah, fuck, yeah.
But that's awesome.
Yeah, just at Shafir, so it's like, it'll work.
Yeah, I got one of those, when I was with Bert, I think, for Oklahoma City Thunder
or something that says my name on the back, which is pretty cool.
It's, I'm not a Thunder fan, but it's cool.
No, but it's still cool.
they made it at all.
By the way, you can get that made yourself,
but you can get a jerk off.
You got it at the stadium.
It's good, cool.
Everyone's asked me,
how have I never made an Eagles jersey
with my name on the back?
I don't know why that's gayer
than just wearing another guy's name.
It's like saying, I'm also on the team.
12 man, guys.
12 man, rise.
Exactly.
He goes, what did your brother play?
Nope, I just had a jersey with my name put on it.
I'm not a member of this team anyway.
I'm pretty slow and small and white.
I'm a fat, five-three-inch.
It's just better to wear a jersey.
Just better to wear another man's name on your back.
Like, you're his girlfriend, is less gay.
Or chicks that wear, like, right?
No.
They need to sell chicks jersey that already balled up perfectly.
Yeah, tied up on the side.
So, yeah, to go back the thing, I mean, not a big traveler.
Do you just still do it?
Hold on, hold on, I'll do it.
But do you still do any, like, poor stuff that you can't shake?
I saw Sal walk away from, he was thirsty,
walk away from a guy selling waters because it was $1.50 instead of a dollar.
It's a dollar.
And the guy's like, a dollar 50, right by the park.
And he goes, no way.
I'll move.
I'll just be thirsty and move on.
No, I've, if it makes sense that I'm still, maybe it's like in the thing of it's so new having a couple of, you know, we're nowhere near Sal at all even.
But like, no, now it's like, we were just saying before it's like, I never bought merch.
Yeah.
So now I go, even though I know it's like, that jacket's definitely going to be a little bit short on me.
I'll probably wear it one time only or that hoodie is going to dry once and do it.
I just go, it's like, give me that 80s.
dollar hoodie though and it's like
you know by the way sometimes you get lucky
yes and it goes but I mean I remember I bought a
run the jewels in a wu-tang we went to go see there like
one wash I wore them I wore them both
the thing when they one wash just like
they're just like too short now or like you know
Ripley they're just like not very cool
but now I'm just like give me all
of it like that when I go to games
at all if I go to a game that that's
better for me to go to a game like at the away
stadium here to see a Giants game
against the Eagles because like there's no
thing for me to walk out of there and be like I mean
throw blankets.
I'll find reasons for them.
I'll find stuff for this.
I'll go to the Yankees thing.
I'm like, I don't need anything at home space.
I live in a way small place than you.
So I'm like, what can, oh, dog toy.
Dog toy.
I have to, I want to put money back here.
I've got.
I went to the Phillies one with Shane.
He's like, I'm going to go to the team store.
Get some stuff.
And so he did, and I got a fanatics hat.
I was holding.
He goes, you want me going to get that?
And I was like, huh?
And he goes, oh, you're stealing it?
All right.
Like, I'm still going to steal when I can.
but they uh oh my god the stuff i buy at the at the team store now is i mean how many throw you have
throw blankets everywhere in your house everywhere heels doesn't even go with the decor of the room
means nothing well now they're just like outside like let the dog lay on them ones because they are
at the end of the day stupid but when you're there and you're like give me that $100 really
shittily made you're in a good mood you're drunk yeah not even drunk i've never even drunk at
those things it's really walking out they're just like man by the way i'm picturing all the
things I go, I would look really cool in that white throwback Eagles jersey.
And you get it.
You're like, I don't look very cool in it at all.
I don't just try it on.
It's not a store.
They do.
Let's get to your trip.
So yes.
So not a lot of traveling at all, but way early in comedy right after, it was right after 9-11.
It happened.
You're welcome.
So you're welcome, everybody, bought and paid for.
But it was right after it happened.
And they just started like, fly.
People, and I remember my parents being so scared because I got offered a, so against this point, I'm doing comedy.
Scared.
Four years maybe?
Yeah.
Yeah, because the trap, it just was like flying and stuff because everything was going on.
You know, I mean, they made people scared that like, you know, because remember after the 9-11, it was like a guy with a shoe bomb and then I, you know.
Oh, yeah, like it wasn't going to stop for a while.
Yeah, it was like things are going to happen.
And not long after that, I got offered this, uh, probably why, again, it trickled down to somebody like four years in the comedy.
Yeah.
At that point is, uh, cool benefits.
though.
Go ahead.
It goes out of 40 years ago because people didn't want to fly and go wherever.
So it was Black Circuit comedy shows, technically.
For troops, though.
So, but it wasn't U.S.O.
It was going to be like, you know, like black bar shows basically out there for military.
But for like the black military people parties.
Yeah.
Like the parties that they're going to hang out at.
That's cool.
It's interesting.
Yeah.
So.
Oh, what a weird audience.
Very weird.
We went the first day, we land in Germany.
Frankfort, I want to say?
Okay.
Yeah, it's Frankfurt, I believe.
And we go to the military, we're doing the show in a big tent where there's at a carnival
they're doing.
And the carnivals for like the military people.
Basically it's like all rides and stuff, but it's like the military people and their families,
I guess they brought out there.
But it's all black.
It's all the black people.
Hey guys, I'm breaking in real quick to tell you a little bit about today's guest, Big J. Ogresson.
This is not an ad.
This is letting you know who you're listening to.
And you should know because he's one of the best live performers, honestly, of all time.
He's great.
He's a joy to watch.
Every time I see him, I'm like, is this magic?
So in the pocket, so ready, you can see him three times in a weekend.
And honestly, the shows won't be more than like 20% the same.
It's awesome.
You should see him live.
He's also one of my best friends in comedy, my first friend in New York City.
And honestly, producing his...
Netflix special was one of my real wins in stand-up.
You should see them.
Definitely check out Dog Belly on Netflix.
They Them, the Double CrowdWorks special on YouTube.
The Roses of Kevin Hart still available.
You can check him out on his radio show, The Bonfire,
they does with Now Thin Robert Kelly.
You can also see him on Legion of Skanks
that he does every week with Steve Renazisi and Louis Gomez.
Or Story Wars, where I am the all-time champion.
besides Jay and Lewis.
Three wins.
But you've got to see them live.
Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening, by the way.
But because a lot of times they unsubscribe people, which is kind of crazy.
So hit whatever you're doing.
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Here's what Jay is going to be on the road.
You should get a ticket right now.
All tickets are available at bigjaycom.
Levittown, New York.
We're in August now.
Royal Oak, Michigan.
Albany, New York.
Beach, Timonium, Maryland, that's Baltimore, at Magoobee's, Cleveland, Ohio,
hilarities, Seattle, Denver, Colorado, the Comedy Works downtown, best club in the world.
Where else we got?
Wow, that's a good one.
Rochester, New York, Austin, Texas, and the Comedy Mothership in October.
I won't be there because I'll be watching the New York Yankees win the World Series.
Brea, California, ooh, good, but, New Orleans, Louisiana, at Skankfest, where I will also be.
New Brunswick, New Jersey, Louisville, Kentucky, and rounding out the year, Oklahoma City,
one of the best clubs in the Midwest, Bricktown Comedy Club, and Philadelphia at Helium Comedy Club
for his pre-New Year's Eve shows. That's it. So please, also subscribe to Big J. Ogress on Instagram
and on YouTube, where he's constantly putting up a new stuff. For myself, I've got one thing to tell you.
Obviously, subscribe to this podcast, wherever you're watching the list. If you're watching on YouTube,
which I think a lot of you are, or Spotify, between those.
it's 90%. Hit subscribe right now.
Please do me a favor. That's the best way you can do support the show.
And leave a comment for the algorithm. A dumb comment.
Or what I'm hoping is you leave your tails of wherever we're talking about.
What you want from that place or where you've been, you know, if you have been to that place.
That's it for me. Also, the end is now available at r.orgiafir.com.
If you buy it right now, or if you've already bought it, you now, because of the one-year
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Let's get back to the episode.
Let's get back to Amsterdam.
One of the best comics, one of the best podcasters in the world, Big J. Ocasin,
take us back to Amsterdam.
Early when we get there, you know, I'm like young enough to, I'm like in my early 20s.
So I'm like, hey, I'm like, I'm like, who wants to go on rides at me?
And I'm out there with two black comedians.
I don't want to say names for like rides.
Yeah.
Or I'm out there with three black comedians, actually.
One's a female.
Very, very funny.
Dominique, her name is.
Okay.
I can give her name.
You can say them all.
We can bleep them all if you want.
Yeah, decide later.
Well, one's because, like, I don't want to tell someone else's story on something.
It's, like, personal enough that you're like, well, I don't know if they want to say they did this.
Oh, 100%.
So, like, yeah.
But we go to Amsterdam.
So, uh, anyway, so we, uh, we go to this carnival.
And oh, I should actually, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's more, there's more before I leave.
I forgot. This is a major part of the story.
So, uh, I pack, I'm going to be gone on this trip for,
like supposed to be three weeks or something like that two weeks maybe at least when is this in
relation to the south africa trip years before years before okay years before isabel was born by then i didn't
i didn't i just started dating carla oh my ex-wife wow just started dating and i was coming up from
philly i was still driving up from philly or south jersey every day and i joined the boston comedy
club in the village started a uh a basketball team at chelsea pears from the league and i was on the team
and I would go.
So I was going up there
and my plan was,
I was flying out the next day
from New York
but I was like
I'm going to come up there
that night.
I go,
I'm going to go up there
and play my baseball
or my basketball game.
I'm having Carla,
my girlfriend,
hey come meet me.
I packed my clothes
and my suitcase.
I'm going to put it in your car
later that night
and you'll take it
and when I come up tomorrow
I'm just going to take the train up
and fly out of New York
and you'll have my bag already.
okay I go
dude I go into this game
I guess I remember about that game by the way
okay it sure sounds like great
sounds like nothing would go wrong
I was I was you know especially when I was younger
I was like especially at the point I was playing basketball
a lot so I'd get frustrated
because I was like I could play all right
and I'm being cut to the side
because like Jay Moore's there and Matt Frost was on the team
and something like that and then also any black comic
that showed up you know it was Rudy Rush
Mike Yard Mike Britt
talent
these guys
Rudy Rush was good
Mike Brits really good
wasn't it
they were all
they were all good
yeah
I was just like
there was other people
playing a lot
that were like
I am better than
yeah
like you know I mean
so it was a little
frustrating
but it was like just
it was a popularity
who cares anyway
at the end of the day
it was like
you
still you
yes
definitely still you
I never let it go
but um
no but I'm just saying
like it was more
like the camaraderie
was the idea of it
yeah yeah
but I was definitely
love like
I want to play
you know I was like
I want to do
And I remember, like, one of the finds, that night, I remember the ball got stolen from, so I don't know why I just remember this stands out so much because it's the moment is how much they didn't value me.
I ran the guy down from behind and blocked his shot.
And it's like, you know, it's closed gyms.
And when I hit it, like hit a wall.
You know what I mean?
It was like, the block was like a showy block because he didn't see it coming.
So I sent it.
And then remember the bench goes nuts.
And they go, yeah, it goes, Jay.
Come out.
And they put me out.
I'm like, I just did the thing.
Like, come on.
you're like, give him one chance to shine.
Yeah, he goes, all, he did a thing.
And you're like, he has to contributing to a win.
Like, we don't really care.
They didn't care.
We're all drinking after this.
Take me out.
So, and then I left.
I left kind of, go, hey, remember with that?
What time you got a block?
So, good, everyone's having fun.
Couldn't tell you if we won or lost.
It didn't matter.
Everyone was having a great time except me.
I walk out.
I go outside, and my fucking trunk has popped.
Oh.
My fucking Saturn.
And my suitcase gone.
Oh.
They just took the whole thing.
Now, 21.
two, 22?
Fuck.
21 maybe.
And I'm like, uh, 22, I guess.
And I'm like, fucking pretty rattled by that.
I'm like, that's everything I own.
I'm broke.
I have no money.
So I go home that night.
Next day, it's a nighttime flight we're taking, flying overnight.
The next morning I wake up, my grandmother, rest her soul, think, she was like, I mean,
I had to buy, I packed for like weeks and, you know, we weren't rich.
I didn't grow up with like a bunch of clothes.
It was all my clothes.
I packed, basically.
And she was like, I said to go by like another wardrobe, basically, like that morning, a big and tall and a suitcase.
And my grandmother helped me with all that.
And then I pack and I go up there.
And now I got to travel with it.
And the thing, you know, I go and I go to the airport.
We go to the trip.
So now we're in.
Sorry, now we're back to, that's important.
Okay.
All that because it starts off with such a fucking bummer of a situation.
Yeah.
Losing all my clothes.
I'm down already.
Whatever I'm making on this trip, by the way, which wasn't going to be a lot.
it's like I'm losing it all
but it probably seemed like a lot to me
I was probably gonna come up with like three grand
or something and it meant the world to me
so like
so we land
or walk around this carnival
and I remember like it feels like
they sort of know us
like from like I guess they get like comic view
like tapes out there or something
or DVDs were big out there
so they were really excited about the other comics
particularly and like some people knew who I was
which was neat I was so young in comedy
but I'd already done this comic view
oh wow
at this point maybe twice
It was the first step for an open micer.
Huge step for an open micrer.
When people were coming back from Philly and they were like just from comic view,
I was like, it doesn't matter.
You just said TV.
He's back from TV.
I was like, TV's not a real thing.
A legitimateizer, yeah.
From TV.
Imagine saying that out.
That's my next time I'd bring you up.
I'm like, from TV.
From TV.
Big J. O'Kerson.
So we're walking around and then I go to Dominique.
You know, I want to ride the rides.
Mm-hmm.
And the other guys are like, man, I don't care about the rides.
And I'm like, so I go, let's go.
There's like a tiltoral kind of thing.
So, you know, it's baskets.
You know, you're sitting two people in a basket.
It spins.
Yeah.
The thing itself spins.
And then the thing, the platform itself drops down.
No, no, no, no.
These are a cart.
You're sitting in a cart.
There's a bunch of them.
There's individual carts.
You can sit like probably two to four people in a cart.
The cart spins and the whole floor is spinning.
It's just like one of these guys.
Okay, okay.
What's the one where it spins you against the wall?
Gravitron or the roundup.
And then the floor drops out.
That's Gravitron.
That's the indoor one.
Roundup is the outside one where it goes like that.
That's an exciting one.
I love it.
You can't control yourself.
We have a roundup at Skank Fest, buddy.
No way?
Yeah.
I don't know if I trust that.
I did it last year.
You're a trusting guy.
Very fun.
We had a Ferris wheel on a roundup.
That's...
Let's see.
That's the tilt to whirl.
That's the tilt to world.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you get even a video of it moving because it's interesting how it goes.
You can see the platform.
Yeah, this is a great, great example of it.
Can you, worry on the side, can you look, tilt a world deaths?
None.
I couldn't assume there's any ever.
But, all right, see what's happening?
Yeah, you're going around, head up and down.
So.
Getting nauseous, by the way.
This thing, for some reason, isn't the line to get onto the rides.
the rides.
It's ride ends.
Get right back on?
No, it's like stand around it and like be the first people to get to a cart.
Oh, okay.
Which is strange.
Yeah.
Strange way to handle it.
Fatalities caused wrecked by a tiltoral are exceedingly rare.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think 44 when a 41-year-old man stood up while the ride was in motion in Livingston, New Jersey,
Irvington, and was subsequently struck by a following car.
Eish.
Well.
So there's no video of that.
No.
No, no video in the 40s.
That's the biggest problem with the 40s.
Wizard of Oz was just coming in.
So I tell Dominique, Dominique's bigger girl.
Yeah.
I'm fat is all hell, but I'm like, I'm going all by age.
I'm just like, I'm 23.
I know I'm young at this point.
I'm like, if you go on with me, I'll get us the cart.
Okay.
She's like, okay, okay.
So stand.
This is already in Frankfurt.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
We're standing on this
I'm staying
Me and Herbo
stand on the outside of it
Yeah
And I'm noticing
When I was watching it before
It makes a noise
It goes
It goes eh
You know it makes a noise
It makes a 22 or 23
But it makes it a good
It makes it a buzzer noise
And that means that the ride's coming to an end
Coming to an end
So I
No I go
My mind I'm like
I'm like so I know I'm fat and slow also
But I made her
I've told her that I'm going to be
the one that gets us this card and I want to come through.
So I wait for that noise.
I'm like, that noise is going to say, but when that noise hits,
I treat it, something in my mind, just like, I panic and I want to get it.
So I'm like, now you go.
Even though that just means it's stopping.
It's going to start slowing down.
So I hear that buzz, and I mean like seconds later, wait a few, two seconds later.
I go out and I put my foot on the platform.
My other foot never makes it.
I go up.
I go up,
ass everything,
and hit,
and it's like,
it's like wrestling stairs metal.
Do you know what you got?
Grated metal?
Grated metal.
So it's like,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's, it's, it's,
like,
gha, gack,
you know,
like rattles the whole fucking thing.
You know,
it's thin metal-ish,
kind of,
but like,
it just,
it rattles.
And yeah,
I'm,
yeah, I go,
something up,
and then I get up,
and I think just because
people feel bad
that I've made such a,
scene like they let me get in the cart
that I was right next to.
Like no one, people could just went in it.
If that was New York, people would be like, oh man, that sucks.
As they walked right into the one.
100%.
Yeah.
So they didn't do that, thankfully.
Shout out Germany.
So we go in.
We get in the cart.
I think you get fit like three or four people in these carts.
Me and are both big.
So we sit in it, two of us.
And the thing clicks down.
And it's got to come over here.
And it's essentially a mechanism.
It's a hole and, you know, the lock goes like that.
Okay.
So it locks in like this in the hole.
Nice.
Guys going closer with that.
Yeah.
So it goes like that.
Now what's happening is I'm trying like, you know, it's a weird.
Everything, I'm already embarrassed so much.
Me and her probably both a little like, look at us squeezing in this fucking thing.
And the guy's coming over to like push the thing down to get it locked in on us.
And when he does it, I just, I didn't notice it, you know, I'm so across this thing.
it catches my shirt.
So it's a layer of my shirt between this like bolt and the thing.
So it's not really clicked on there very well.
And when the ride starts going like cooking, it comes out.
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So now she's freaking out.
I'm holding on to the bar acting like
it's not a big deal when I'm like,
I don't know if this is a big deal.
When this thing hits its peak speed,
like does this thing fly us fling us out?
No idea.
We just lucked out.
And I guess our gravity,
our gravitational pull held us in.
And we got away from that.
And then we went to a...
I know that feeling of fear.
We're like, I don't...
If you've never really seen one, you're like, I don't think that's right.
Yeah.
Well, my other one I had was here to a great adventure, man, when they did the Superman ride,
and everybody was clicked in, like, sounds like a ratchet, like, crack, cack, cack, cack, cack.
And the whole team got together and got one click on me.
And then you are just suspended by the harness.
Everyone else goes, cackackackack, cac.
And with a guy literally holding the track and pushing with his feet on my stomach on the harness,
it made one click.
Dude, I was on a plane with Rogan.
I was on an edible.
And I got,
because I got low blood pressure,
so if I stand up too quick sometimes,
I'll, like,
ooh, I'll get lightheaded.
I passed out before a couple of times.
And I got in my head that, like,
well, if we take off, we're going up,
I'm going to get low blood pressure to pass out,
but then we're just going to keep going up.
So I'll never recover.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's like a pretty solid chance
I'll just suffocate and die.
And I was like,
and we were all,
we had pulled out of the gate on the plane,
but not moved from there.
And I got that in my head,
and I was like,
well, I got her off this fucking plane.
Oh, yeah.
And I was like so close to be like, hey, get me off the plane.
You don't know what's going on.
You don't know what's going on right now.
Get me off the plane.
If not for picturing Rogan mocking me.
Yeah, I've accepted before.
I've had, uh, because of pressure stuff.
I have pressure issues, like ears and stuff.
I've had stuff like, I've had pains like here in the corner of my eyes so bad on a plane
where I was like, I'm not going to say anything, but like I think my brain's bleeding.
I'm like, there's nothing going to do anything.
You're pretty sure, but you're like, well, I was like, I'm not going to, but I think it's like,
I think, though, if I go to sleep right now,
I guess I'm not probably waking up.
This is something terrible happening.
What is this pain came out of nowhere?
That's what the one click is.
We're like, oh, I'm fucked.
Who are these guys?
I remember going up on that?
Because you're next to somebody.
I was next to a guy named Greg
who was a bartender with the comic strip.
Okay.
The reason we got to go on the ride so much
is it was another girl who worked the comic strip.
Isabella's godmother, actually,
worked for Pfizer.
She's like, you know, like a HR person, whatever.
And she was like,
but they have Pfizer Day.
Like great interest where it's like it's open to just the employees of Pfizer for like one day
because there's thousands of them.
And but it was way less lines than any other thing, you know.
And it was so we got to go on it.
And we were going up the slow ride, the slow ascend.
I was looking down.
I was like, I don't think this is good.
This is bad.
Like it's going to be a real chat.
And I go, you know what?
Let me look over at Greg because his excitement and happiness and how fun this is is going
to get me sinking that out.
And he was looking like this.
And I guess I went, I went, what he goes?
He goes, dude, he goes, if you fall out, there's nothing I can do.
What?
And they go, he also saw that it was like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I never even checked on his response to that.
But he had a face.
He was like, I wouldn't have done it.
I was so much, I just wanted to be over.
I'd rather than getting embarrassing me walking off of it, which is what I should have done.
I was like, no, they said I'm in.
I'll just die.
Yeah, I'll just die.
I think I flung.
It won't be because I'm fat.
They'll just think it's a flinging.
Yeah.
They're going to say this thing doesn't work right.
Shoddy equipment.
Yep.
Okay.
I'll take that.
They're going to show pictures of me.
They're going to go, this guy wasn't too big for a ride.
If I get off the ride now, I'm going to die of suicide in about a week for this embarrassment.
So I'd rather just take the chance.
Well, I did that one time they took me off of a ride in Minneapolis, the Mall of America.
And then Christine got off to, and I started yelling at her for getting off.
I'm like, you're drawing more attention to her.
She's like, what am I going to ride the teeny to the shredder by myself.
Try it.
He was lashing at anyone around you.
Anyone.
I was like, someone's got to get it.
I'm big and fat,
and now everyone thinks I ruined your time also
because you were fought clearly okay on the ride.
Just stay on there.
You fucking dickhead?
Why am I mad at you?
She goes, you want to try the other ride?
You're going to do it.
I bought the day pass, and I did the,
let's see if we can get her money back.
She goes, you don't want to try any of the other ones.
I go, no, I can't do the shredders.
The brain can't do the other ones.
So.
Okay, so you're on with Dominique.
We get on, we survive the Tilto world.
We go inside.
We do the,
show that show's good from i remember being a fun show you know nothing like bad like i guess i
guess i did okay and then it's exciting then we're walking around and uh we go well now we're you know
let's go hit the carnival because now we're like celebrities you know at the carnival they're gonna be
like oh you guys and down to anything of just like maybe a girl cares or something you know whatever
and we're uh walking around and it was uh some lady she goes oh oh
my God, are you
and I started doing the already
like the, yeah,
yeah, yeah, that's me.
And she goes, you know, I knew it.
She goes, guys, I told you, this is the guy who fell
on the Delta World thing earlier.
And then people came over to see me.
Like, are you all right, dude, man? That thing was loud.
And I was like, all right.
That's so stupid.
So stupid.
So then we were there for just that one night.
Then they send us to the next day our show is going to be.
We're driving out to Mannheim, Germany, another military base,
where they're going to be doing, we're doing a comedy show that night at a pool party,
a huge indoor, like, pool thing.
Is this for black people again?
Yeah.
Okay.
Black people.
and we black soldiers
all the military
guys and girls
and they
I'm sure there had to be some white people there
I'm sure to some degree
but it was a very black
it was like promoted black
you know it was like a black
white people showed up
when I was in the black comedy circuit
there'd be white people
to a lot of the shows
but like it's a black crowd
this few white people showed up
so that's what this was gonna be
it was promoted that way
when we get to this pool party place
we don't even know where we're performing yet
we get there and we walk in
and they start telling us,
I start noticing everyone's got laminates on
that has, and this is timely,
I believe, because it was that album, whatever.
It's with DMX, the cover of blood of blood,
or flesh of flesh,
it's like him covered in blood,
like with his arms out like that.
Okay.
DMX, if you could find that Jorge.
This was on their laminates.
They had, and DMX, they go,
is DMX performing tonight?
And they go, no, no, no.
Yeah, that's the one with everyone.
The blood one.
That was the lamb at it.
Decent body him, DMX.
Yeah, he was ripped.
Until the drugs got him.
Then what, he got that?
Or he died?
He just kind of got whatever and then died.
I mean, the funniest thing you'll ever watch,
and there's no reason to do it now, dude,
is when his son came to him as an adult.
And he goes, I want to have a relationship with you, dad.
And he's like, I want a relationship with you two.
And his son's a really eloquent.
He's a really eloquent kid.
And he goes, he goes, so I want to have our relationship move forward.
And be father and son.
He's like, I love that.
He goes, but I need you to do that without drugs.
And he goes, well, good seeing you.
He's walking like leaves.
He's like, ah, I ain't doing that.
I barely even know you.
He just goes, I was trying about doing drugs.
He's all he rules?
No.
But we just hang out.
He was like, I was going to suggest we do drugs together.
Yeah, he goes, but like, never mind, but I thought you were going to be cooler.
So they're all wearing this laminate.
Yeah.
And we asked like, what's, is DMX coming?
And then they were kind of like, they started
giving us like yeah he's supposed
he's like he's like something's weird with
his travel but he is supposed to be coming
they're saying it's not like no way and
then they tell us kind of last minute they go
all right it goes we just say that
to get make sure this because it's
packed there's like tons of people here
it's like over there's too many people
here and I'm like they go
no we just say that so we make sure
we get everybody out here and then we tell them that there's like
travel problems and he couldn't make it
and they can't get that mad and then he goes
it doesn't
matter he goes so then he goes uh but he goes i'm like oh they're going to be in a bad mood he goes
now they're going to be in a good mood because we're bringing back they were like last year um
we got in trouble but we kind of got everybody like keep a cool this year they last year we got in
trouble because uh we do a a butt naked this is what they're wording butt naked booty dance
contest where so i guess last year and they have like women there that are like you know local
German black chicks, I guess, and shit.
But like, that'll compete in this.
But like last year, they said two officers got discharged
because they were up there, like, you know,
like spreading their pussies and, like,
you got naked nuts at this thing.
And they go, but we're doing it again.
And so, like, we're doing it again.
So they don't give a shit about DMAC.
He's like, they'll be stoked about that.
And we're like, oh, okay then.
And then I go, where are we performing?
And I mean, it's all happening very fast
from what I remember.
Like,
and then we go to like,
I mean like a don't cry for me,
Argentina balcony.
Yeah.
In the middle of like a wall.
It's like,
it's like a castle wall almost
where like we're on a balcony.
I mean,
what?
Wait,
what?
We're on a balcony
is what they want us to perform.
Indoors.
It's indoor like balcony off this wall
that's over the pool,
the indoor pool.
But I mean
a hundred feet
up from it.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like really hard.
And we have a microphone.
And the guy comes out there and he goes,
what?
He goes.
All right, y'all, we're about to get the show started right here.
He goes, first things first, we got to clear something up, man.
We got some bad, bad news today.
DMX got stuck in transit.
He ain't going to be able to make it tonight.
We're not going to be having, unfortunately, DMX will not be performing tonight.
I mean, they go nuts with those.
Then he goes, but I got good news for you.
He goes, we are bringing back.
The butt-naked booty dance kind of, yeah,
because you remember two officers got discharged last year?
Because we're bringing it back.
And, you know, whatever.
Like they're going for it.
And the place goes nuts, excited.
They did get excited.
He goes, but first, we're going to do this comedy show.
So we're going to bring up the first guy, Big J.
And, I mean, I just ate shit for, you know.
Wow.
What a epically terrible introduction.
Again, I don't even remember it being, like, that bad of,
I mean, in the world of bad shows.
It doesn't resonate with how bad the show.
because I think I probably just did like fine.
You know what I mean?
Like I got through it.
I think I had to do like, I think at the end of they were doing like, you do five.
She's going to do 10.
He'll do 15.
I'll do 15.
You know, whatever.
So it was like we were kind of getting out of there quick.
And then.
And Drew Poole and a bomb holder's best kept secrets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, go ahead.
Yeah, it was nuts.
This place was crazy.
So we did that show and we got out of there.
And then the next morning, the guy, the promoter who's promoting all this, picks us up.
Yeah.
And he goes, all right, I'm driving you guys to Amsterdam, which I even know it's possible.
Yeah.
I'm driving you to Amsterdam?
Yeah.
I didn't even know it's possible.
I don't know.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know.
That's what you were saying that about going to, you know, moving to Europe.
Yeah.
That you're saying, it's like, what's going to cool, which I've always heard that is true, but it doesn't even make sense to me.
It's like, dude, three hours to Paris.
Three hours to Germany.
Three hours of Germany, couple hours to Amsterdam.
couple hours to hear.
Yeah.
Really?
Like,
that seems like
if things are all
that would be like
crazy far away.
Bro, you should visit me
when I'm in London.
Stay with,
well,
you got the bonfire.
Okay, go ahead.
Forget still.
Yeah.
Don't have serious XM in the UK
studios?
Yeah, they probably do.
They probably do.
You'll probably do both.
Stay with me in London.
Then you go take your train to Paris,
perform there,
come back,
take your train to Amsterdam,
perform there,
come back.
Agreed.
During the weeks.
So,
yeah.
So this guy,
picks us up and he goes we're driving on the
auto bond. Hell yes.
Okay. Hell yes. We're in a minivan
and we get on it. That was pretty exciting.
We've seen how that works. How everybody flies, drives
that fast and shit. It's pretty crazy. Was it sick?
It's cool. Do you see people whizzing by you?
Yeah. What did you think the fast somebody went was?
150 miles an hour maybe? I mean, people were like, it was like
they're gone. Daytime, nighttime? Daytime.
They're just there to unload? It's pretty nuts. I mean,
we were going like a steady like I kind of I think I got to with the conversion he said it was like
a hundred miles per hour which is pretty fucking fast that's pretty fast yeah and a in a minivan
let me you feel the things like so at this point now it's just me and the other two guy
black dude comics wait was he trying to get to a hundred and just to show you or was it like
no there's just how fast I'm going no he's like I'm gonna go 100 because for a while time wise
almost like yeah just get there as fast as possible without killing us right damn this message
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So we got there.
And he just straight goes, I forget why.
He was like, I'm not staying here.
The promoter now, our only point of contact goes like, I have to go back to whatever.
I'll be back here in a couple days.
Okay.
Maybe four days or something like that.
In the meantime, I got you guys some gigs.
out here.
First one was first night, and we go to do it.
First of them, they put us in a condo, I guess,
technically, above the comedy corner.
Where's this one?
And I'm saying the word wrong.
It sounds like Lights of Placen or something like that.
In Amsterdam.
In Amsterdam.
Okay.
It's like the Lights of Place,
and there's a thing called the Comedy Cafe or something,
and there's a condo they put you in right about it.
They put us in the Comedy Cafe's condo
because no one was in there.
Sometimes, just so people know,
condos go from anywhere from, like,
just an apartment.
they rent
to like a former abortion clinic
and illegal days
it just happens to be above
you know
stair all behind a door
this was an apartment
okay it was a fine apartment
here's what it didn't have
this was crazy again at the time
we're talking about the 2000 hot plate
two didn't have a fridge
had a fridge
okay it had a stove
it didn't have a television at all
at all
and this is before you'd bring
your laptop. This is honestly
before Wi-Fi, really, I think.
So these aren't even things. So you're not
getting internet. But at least you're like
a DVD player. Yeah.
You know, we could go rent something or buy a
DVD and watch a movie or something. It's so
funny. You're 22, 23 of this age.
Yeah. I mean, for me to even
ever turn on a TV
if I'm in the Netherlands.
Well, keep in mind. Here's what happened.
Can I tell you this, though? Not go out.
Yeah. We did go out, though, a bunch.
But it was just the idea of that, though,
Like the end of the night, it was like, to me, again, it's always, I'm not a person who goes to bed to TV and shit, yeah.
So it wasn't even been doing it.
We wanted to do stuff.
Yeah.
And we also, none of us have fucking money.
And this guy was like, I'm going to pay you when I come back kind of thing.
You're going to get the money when I come back.
Here's what's also going on this whole time.
It's looming on this, too.
I just started dating Carla, Max's wife.
And right before I left for this trip, she told we were dating for a,
weeks, maybe a couple months or something.
Fucking?
Yes.
Yes.
Nice.
I think so.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Pretty sure.
But something.
We were doing something.
You know what I mean?
At least where I was like, well, she's kind of, we're dating, you know, we're dating.
But I don't know if we're official, like, boyfriend, girlfriend.
And then she told me kind of at the, like, we went to eat after the comic strip one night.
And she was like, I should tell you this.
Like, I'm actually also, like, semi-seeing this.
guy who lives in Boston who like I've gone up there because she was going to she was deciding whether
to go to school in Boston or New York for law school.
Yeah.
At that exact moment.
And she was like, I don't know which one I'm doing yet.
And basically it's so funny, it's like she was choosing law school here or there.
I basically was choosing like this guy or that guy.
Yeah, yeah.
And she was like, and so I'm going for my final go through in Boston this weekend while
you're gone and have no way to contact me.
You know, again, phone card, you know.
Right.
Or calling card.
no cell phones no nothing so I'm like okay you know he's got to eat that thing so I'm freaking out about
that also you know I mean I'm like oh man this chick is just like ah man this is the first girl since
my last breakup that was nasty not nasty but just sucked and I was like this is the first girl I've liked
actually like ah man and this trip that I got no money I'm not even having fun you know what I mean
like yeah I'm the low man on the totem pole this kind of sucks so that's looming okay also on this
trip very much.
And so I'm getting, uh, what are we doing?
I got high.
Keep changing things.
Oh, he's not doing it.
Yeah, go ahead.
So they, uh, wait, where am I at?
The thing, we got, we got to.
Dude, I got high.
Yeah, that's fine.
We went to Amsterdam.
We get in.
Oh, so the place has no TV, no nothing.
And we're like, all right, well, it's like, we're going to have to have.
We have, like, I mean, I, I, it's,
Cumulatively, under $300.
Yeah.
Between us.
Okay.
You don't have to pay for the place.
You need food.
We need food.
Yeah.
And they left us there.
And he left us there.
And also, when is he coming back?
And when's he coming back?
Days.
Yeah.
Who knows?
Supposedly, who knows?
And now it's also seems weird.
We went into this place and it seemed like everyone seemed confused when we got that.
You know what I mean?
To like, oh, oh, you guys are the one?
Okay.
Hey, we're on the show tonight at the comedy cafe?
Like, oh, oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we go on.
And I think they always said one of us could go on.
And so they talked me into doing it, like the two other dudes I think talking to this was fun.
And then I went up after a guy like murders in Dutch.
And I was just like, they're not going to understand me.
They're not going to get it.
And I went up there and I did probably talk too fast.
And it wasn't going very good.
Then I panicked and just did a Kurt Metzger joke.
I just stole a joke.
I was like, maybe they go, maybe there's like Kurtz jokes better than mine.
Is it in your head while you're performing?
Yeah. Oh, no, it wasn't like, oh my God, I ended up doing a Kurt joke.
I was like, I want to get out of this situation, so I'm going to do a Kurt joke because I think it'll work.
I don't even know if it did or didn't.
I just remember going up there and being like, mine aren't.
So maybe his will.
He was a young comedian.
Again, it's a three, four year in a comedy like this.
You know, you're like, yeah, I'll just go fucking tell Kurt's jokes.
I mean, I don't think I would do the same thing now, but I would just go, I'm going to tell you some of Kurt Metzger's jokes.
Because I don't think you like mine, so maybe you'll like his.
And I think I think I'm doing him justice.
No, that was a panic and just like a decision made.
We do that show and then we leave there.
I don't think we get, there's no money for that at all.
Really, we left, or I did the show we left.
And then we're like, well, we got to go hit Red Light District.
We go check it out.
It's my first time ever there.
Yeah.
We go down there and we see the first thing, live sex show.
Come on in.
You know, they bark, but it's kind of, come on in, live sex.
They see three tours for sure.
Yeah.
And we give our, you know, whatever, it's 20 bucks or something to go in.
You know, it's like money.
And we're all like, yeah, let's do it.
But these is where every $20 means something.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah.
So we're like, we got to see this, though.
We got to do it.
We go in.
And it's funny.
I went back years later to Amsterdam and watched the sex show with Joe the Rosa,
Rachel Feinstein,
Marina Franklin, a couple other people.
I can't remember exactly.
But we went out there and we watched the live sex.
And I gotta say, it was one of the most awkward things we've ever seen.
The live section was very strange.
Both times.
Especially for someone who's, well, so the first time, we spent this money and we go in there.
And then they have like, you know, a hot chick stripper comes out and gets naked.
Yeah.
A novelty fat girl stripper comes out and gets naked.
Whatever.
Another girl comes out.
Just gets naked?
Just getting naked.
Slowly.
Just like a stripping.
No, the fat one was like a novelty comedy thing sort of.
know she's can you imagine if we meant this seriously no go on take clothes i'm get out of here so yeah
they do that and then uh when the i guess it was beginning of the couple or maybe not maybe it was
just his own thing it's it's a show a sex show so there's guy strippers and girl strippers like
that didn't blow my mind but they just this guy came out it was like it was like an executioner
mask or something like that and like uh you know the straps and leather and spikes big black dude
holding a sword number one of the community one of the guys was he goes he goes
he goes, man, that better be Zina Warrior Princess.
And when she got on stage,
and when he got on stage, it was a guy.
And he started taking his clothes off.
Those guys were both, I mean, without question,
they were just like, yo, we're leaving.
We're leaving.
And I was like, well, guys, it was like a sex show.
Like, it means there's going to be a naked guy in the thing.
And they were like, yeah, I don't know, man.
I ain't do that shit.
And they were like, we're out.
And they left, so we all threw away that money.
That was, we didn't even see the show, really.
A little bit of it.
And then we're like, do we, we?
do we do the prostitutes you know i mean do we go i mean we're here in the red light
do we go in i don't really whatever they did yeah they just kind of operated like together i
don't know if they went in the same room or what quite honestly i said i'm not trying to protect
anybody because i really what i know is myself i was at this point particularly i had just started
coming to new york and feeling a little bit comfortable up in new york i was a person who didn't
travel much as a kid i didn't do a lot of stuff like all my own like i'm jumping on the bus and a train and
going and visit somebody or hopping on a plane.
So being somewhere else and not knowing where I'm at was scary as fuck to me.
This isn't cell phones.
This isn't laptop, internet.
Right, right.
Nothing.
You're on your own.
I was just scared.
Yeah, you're gone.
And so when every time, when these guys were like, we're leaving the sex show in my mind,
I was like, look, today I just go, all, I'll see you guys back at the place or whatever.
Like, I paid the thing.
I'm going to watch it.
Yeah.
Or you maybe go, or whatever, I'm leaving.
But like, I wouldn't have left then only because I was like, well, we paid for it.
We already gave the money.
That's the poor thing we're talking about.
Right.
You can't leave.
I'm not going to leave.
They're not going to give us our money back because a guy is getting naked at a sex show.
That's the point.
That's another one of those things where you're like, maybe through a movie, like, hey, this kind of sucks.
I want to get out of here.
So what happened, wherever they, they just kind of like, where they were walking, like, ahead of me a little bit and, like, just kind of in their own kind of thing.
And they went off at one point.
And I was basically had a decision where I was like, if I'm going to go, I don't know if they went in to a thing.
I go, but I go, if I'm going to go, I got to go right now.
Yeah, or stay.
Do the right thing.
No, no, I'm gonna go in with a prostitute, I'm saying.
Oh.
I got to do it right now.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, right, wait.
Now we're walking around the red light district.
Hold on, hold on, okay.
So you left with them?
I left with them, yeah.
Okay.
Because I didn't want to be by my, I was worried about being by myself.
Yeah.
So now we're out in the streets walking through the red light districts.
They go into a brothel.
They go into a place.
But I don't know if they, I think they went into a place that was going to be a bunch, like a, a brothel, an actual brothel with like a lady and like you picked the girls or something like.
So I don't know what, but they went into there.
Okay.
And I didn't know...
Like a storefront with a plate with stuff in there?
Yes, but it was like...
It wasn't just like a girl on a window.
Okay.
It was like a broth.
It was like a place that you can go into.
And they went into that.
And I...
You know, two girls were chatting them up or whatever.
And I was like, when they just got away from me enough, I was like, shit, I got to go now because I don't want to come out after them because I don't think they're waiting for me.
I think they're going to keep just doing their own thing.
So you're going to get in there out?
I want to get in and out.
Quick fucker, quick fuck of black dude and then get back out.
Black chick, hopefully.
No, I'm saying you've got to out quicken your fuck.
Oh, I got to fuck.
They've already started.
You've got to start and stop before they're done.
Yes.
Yes. I want to be outside when they're done, but I'm here and I, and you know, I'm a fucking horny 20-something year old.
I want to go in.
I want to get one.
So I'm going to try.
So I go in to the first door front I see.
Okay.
And it's a very unattractive black lady with a not good.
budge. Wait, wait, you went to a storefront?
Yeah. Okay.
You know, the lights were all going. What do you do? Knock on the window?
No, she just kind of calls you over and I just went in. I was just like, I was a complete
sucker for whatever. I was like, you called me in here I am. First one, I could see, because I just
want to get over. But I go in there and it's a black woman just not attracted to.
Very little deal with her being black other than it was like, she just had like fucking
Leslie Jones hair and she was kind of chubby and just kind of like her outfit.
It wasn't my thing. Whatever it wasn't. So I was like, oh, yeah.
And when I went in my pockets, like all the fucking change fell out.
And I started picking it up.
And she goes, I'll help you pick that up.
And I was like, yeah, I was like, I think I'm going to go, actually.
And then she goes, can I keep this?
And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The change.
I was like, yeah.
And then you find out it's like, I probably gave $20 in change.
Yeah.
Because the money that's been broken down, they're changed.
They have like, you know, $5 coins and shit.
Yeah, right.
So I think it's like, that's like a dollar.
I thought I gave away a couple bucks.
I was like, oh, I gave away.
gave her 10, if she's let me out of here for 10 bucks, I'm probably making a killing.
I'd probably got like 40 bucks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Each one of their coins is a fucking full dollar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was just like, everything could find out of my pockets?
I was like, ah, shit.
So.
Can I keep this?
Yeah.
It was so grubby, but I was like, yeah.
And so I left, and then those guys came out, like, minutes after me, and then we found
our way back to the fucking place, and then realized, by the next morning, I mean, we just don't have food or nothing, whatever.
So now's where we start making, where it gets it kind of fun.
weirdly enough.
I'm still going through it,
worrying about my ex,
you know,
about this other guy,
can't get a hold of her at all.
But like in the downtime of that,
a couple things about one,
one of the comedians smokes weed,
so he was like,
let's smoke weed.
So it's probably the second time
I ever smoke weed.
No, really?
In Amsterdam?
And I started smoking wheat
and I got like,
I was enjoying,
I mean,
I was almost throwing up
every time we smoked
just with the coughing.
But like,
I was really having a good time
like I felt it
like you know for a little bit
and I was like
it was fun
and then when we started doing
what we did have was a camcorder
first weeds
yeah we had a cam quarter
so then we were doing for the days
oh because you're with black people
that weren't film crimes
probably yeah
yeah we were knocking off
mailboxes
no then we started getting creative
and just like I'm lucky
the two guys I was with
knocking on mailbox
while like you know
black black dudes
yeah silly guys
and because of that
what we did
we just made movies during the day with the camera,
with editing and stuff, like, you know, like,
but retard, like ridiculous horror movies.
We would make, like, silly things.
We would use the city in its own way.
We'd go out and have to wait for a bus to come twice
because you want something to appear behind it the second.
You know what I mean?
But no editing, so you have to, like, film it all, like, in exact time.
And it was the dumbest shit, dude.
And we laughed about it, and we would watch that night,
smoke weed and watch that night and go to Burger King every day.
That's where I found out they put mayonnaise.
That's where I realized they put mayonnaise on their fries.
Paul fixed the thing.
Yeah, well, on the fries was what I thought was weird.
They give you, like, you know, when you get a side of ketchup or it's like, they give
like a little, like a hot mustard.
It's a thing of mayo to dip your fries in, which is interesting.
It wasn't bad either.
But we would get dollar menu every day we were there.
That's what we ate 100% of the time.
We didn't get to try any other foods.
And then, uh, we'd watch our videos a night.
And one of the, one of the last days we were there, um, we were walking around a bar,
and we went to a bar.
And we saw George Clinton.
just sitting in the bar.
Parliament, Funkadelic.
All the blue and, you know, the red braids
and the whole fucking crazy hair.
You don't know what that is?
I do know who it is.
We saw him.
What do you mean?
Just there in Amsterdam?
Yeah, and those two guys start
kind of like talking to him, like, friendly enough.
He was very friendly.
Yeah.
We talked to him for like two minutes.
What are you in town for?
What?
You just went up to him?
I didn't.
I mean.
Those guys.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
We're playing at the whatever theater
right across this brick road
or whatever they were on.
I wish I remember the name of the theater,
but I was like, we're like, oh, okay, you know, whatever.
And we left and we went the next night
we were walking around and we walked by that theater
just happened to be walking by that theater.
He goes, oh, that's the George Clinton thing.
And these guys just walk up with their American accents.
And I remember the comic.
So funny.
He goes up to, one of the comments goes up to the guy
for security at the front door.
Like beside the line.
We didn't even, we're not even in the line.
Beside the line.
He goes, hey, we were George?
And they just opened a fucking,
they opened a fucking velvet.
Velvet wrote for us and we walked in and we watched the last four songs of Parliament
and Funkadelic in Amsterdam.
So cool.
So now, but also what's happening over these days is our money is going to be dwindling down
anyway because we're spending money, this guy's giving us money, and our shows are being
canceled.
The shows we were supposed to be doing out there are being canceled in Amsterdam.
Why?
I don't know.
What do you mean?
Why?
I don't know.
They were just telling us that day.
He's like, ah, that show's actually not happening now.
And you haven't seen the guy who's supposed to pay you?
So he's supposed to come back.
So now, but now it's also happening.
Bro.
I think I, now also I got my own thing with Carla going on where I'm like, I got to get
fuck back.
Because now it's like, I don't know, like I got a hold of her or something.
And she was kind of like, you know, I don't even remember what it was.
But in my mind, in hindsight, it's like some version of like, you know, a giggling, like,
I can't really talk right now.
You know, like this.
And I was like, I got to get the fuck out of here.
Like, I got to go home.
He show, it's all.
The trip is fun, but it's falling apart.
Now I'm not making as much money as I thought.
You know what I mean?
There's so much going on.
Oh, they're canceling shows.
They're not going to, they're not going to pay you for those shows.
No way.
Oh.
So it's like I don't, I'm not the guy getting deposits.
Maybe those guys did, but I'm not.
So it's like, no, I'm eating shit on this, the ones.
So I go, I make up a lie.
And I go, I want to get out of here.
I don't want to do this last week.
The last thing we were going to do was go up to.
Rotterdam?
Nope.
Where's fucking, uh, cities around Amsterdam?
What do you look?
for.
Be such a B?
Basilica?
No, no, no.
It's not that.
It's much easier.
Belgium?
Belgium.
Brussels is in Belgium.
It might be both.
Belgium.
I think the last thing was going to be in Belgium.
And I was like, I'm bailing.
I'm like, this is all falling apart one.
While it's falling apart.
What are you going to go?
You're going to get a flight?
You're going to buy a flight?
Switch to flight home.
I got to go home early.
The guy goes, all right, so the day he was coming up, the day before he was going to come
before he took us to Belgium.
him.
And I was like, yeah, I change him if I got to go.
He goes, all right, man.
All right.
No big thing.
He's probably happy to not pay me for the rest of the stuff anyway.
I'm not setting the world on fire on these shows.
I'm available.
You know what I mean?
I'm getting along great with the other comics.
It's just that I also like, they're not my.
You know, they're definitely like closer than I'm with them as the third.
Yeah.
Like I'm almost in the way.
They could just be having a blast together and I'm also like in there, you know?
Yeah.
Three hour drive.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I'm fucking,
I make these plans.
And the guy goes, all right, man,
I'll come and I'll take you to the airport that day.
Okay, what time are you going to pick me up?
Because, you know, it's international.
I got to check my bag.
And I got you.
He goes, I'm going to be.
He goes, I'm going to get you there about an hour before the flight.
I go, dude, it's international.
My bag's big.
I really got to make sure.
I promised you we're going to get you, man.
I got you.
He shows up even late for what he said he was going to show up for.
and I get there with like a half hour before boarding international flight.
I get to the front of the line.
The guy comes in with me.
And I go, man, I go, you know, I'm going to check my phone.
And the guy goes, like, not even, he's like, no, you're so past the time.
And we could take this bag at all.
And I was like, what the hell am I going to do?
And then the guy goes, Ben, I remember his first name only.
He goes, he goes, you know, I got you man.
He goes, I'll take it back with me.
And then, you know, I'll just, he goes, I'm going to have.
I'll send it home with the guys.
Not even overthinking that you're really putting a lot.
This bag is huge.
You know, it's all my stuff.
You know what I mean?
I don't know if we were doing laundry or anything while we're out there.
It's three weeks of clothes.
Yeah.
And he's like, I'll send it home with you.
And then one of the other comics,
say he was going to bring it home.
And then when he said he brought it home the next day,
I was like, how I'll come to you and I'll come grab it.
He goes, oh, man, it got stolen from my apartment right outside of my apartment.
man bag got stolen now what happened was he never what happened was he never brought
what happened was he never brought it home because I don't I would have tried to get out of
bringing it home too it was insane to ask somebody else to do that they're like what
who the guy that was here like a with the left like a week ago yeah yeah yeah yeah
dude I mean it's like it's like it was like a fucking or deal like bringing us down
with the strip club yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what other white dude who he was fucking
doing yeah you're gonna bring this heavy bag like oh no man no you said
send it.
Fuck that.
And that's what happened.
And it never came back.
So that trip, I couldn't tell you if I made a couple hundred dollars or what.
You lost your bags twice.
Full wardrobe, all my clothing, two times to bookend that trip.
But Carla decided to go to Cardoza University.
I put a baby in her.
Jewish.
And now I got a 23-year-old daughter.
Because of that.
Well, not because of the trip at all, but.
Maybe because you weren't so needy.
If you had been there, you would have been dumb, fucking.
needy 23 year old.
She was actually,
eh,
let me go to Boston.
The fact that she was like,
I'm going to go see this guy
and I was still like,
well, I got to go to.
I'm on an international tour.
I'm doing big things.
I'm doing a three,
turned to be two country
tour of Europe.
So three, sure.
Call it two.
Call it two and call it even.
Trip to Europe.
So good luck with your guy
in Boston.
Was he a law school?
Dude,
that didn't even sound like he's a lawyer yet.
That's why I'm so happy
I remember to go back for that preface
because that's such a big thing of it.
It's like,
I lost all.
all my clothes the day before I left,
and then all my clothes got left in Germany after that.
So I, my poor grandmother,
because I had to come up and be like,
I think I made like $500.
Did you get paid?
Who knows?
But however it was, dude,
I wasn't all of it,
and it was like a thing where I just had that.
But, you know, in my mind also,
I had to eat crow a little bit
because I was like, I was also bailing early on a lie.
But, like, also, the shows were being cancer.
It was going like, hey, why?
Yeah, what the fuck?
bro you got
I know both those comics
still and both of them
do say it goes
after I left
they had a fucking blast
the rest of the way
also yeah
they just kept having fun
they were having fun
they were there
I wasn't not having fun
with George
you would never
have thought of doing that
I think okay I'm like
if there wasn't anything
going on with Carla
yeah
if I wasn't worried about that
like if I'm not there
she's gonna move
to Boston
and uh
you still wouldn't have fun
no no I think
no the money
I would have had the same fun
no I would have had
that same fun
but I also wouldn't have gone home
I would have just like
emerge
I just would have been like
well, now I'm doing this third place.
I hope this doesn't fucking,
I hope we have a couple dollars
to be Burger King every day.
I will tell you to relieve your attention.
Every time I go to Europe,
everybody tells me, like,
so what I do is I go
three or four days on
and then the rest off to, like, have fun.
If I'll stay in the last city
or go early to the next city.
And then there's a one or two cities
are a sandwich.
You're like, you get in that day,
you leave the next morning.
And they go always do that with Brussels.
It sucks.
Yeah.
They're like, there's nothing to do.
Good.
I did it.
I did it.
really lose anything.
Jay.
Best decision to leave trip.
Oh,
Trivia Award?
Yeah, best decision to leave.
Hey,
so this is what we do at the end of the episode.
That's the trips.
Then you went home?
No, I went home.
And I had to go...
Daughter out of it.
And then I had to go buy
pants and shirts like it.
By the way,
big and tall clothes aren't cheap.
Because they charge you more
because they're fucking bigger size.
The same fucking rock-aware jeans
that you were buying Ari when you were a young wigger?
Yeah.
Same rock-of-wear jeans?
100 bucks more.
That big and tall.
Yeah, that sucks.
It sucked.
It's like getting banning on a pet.
Or you had to dress like your fucking neighbor's dad.
You had to dress like in fucking the store brand, big and tall clothes.
Or you could pay the Harbor Bay is one of them.
Big dog athletics.
This is what you said in the story-telling show story.
You have two ways to go.
Oh, yeah.
It was bigger or the dad.
Yeah, that was it.
There was two choices.
Now, I just had to lose weight
because I don't want to dress like a dad
but I also can't dress
whatever they think their young thing is now.
Yeah, I got this for you.
Oh.
It's the ticket. It's on our seat.
Me and Lewis's seat.
He was three or four, whatever.
Hell yeah.
But if you ever do it like a poster, you know,
like this would go like where the border goes.
Fuck yeah.
I don't know.
Oh, that's awesome.
Thank you.
That way, that way.
What a fun night.
God, a fun night.
You're so killed.
What a fun night.
I'm just glad after it was over.
Something that's crazy.
I'm just glad afterwards everyone stayed good friends.
I'm glad there was no dissension in the ranks of the actual dais itself.
I think it might have been actually the first after-party
where my two friends most likely to just skip an after party, both came.
Oh, yeah?
You and Adrian.
You're both like, it's not going to be my scene.
I'll meet you there.
I don't know.
Something came up.
Did you hear someone say Kevin Hart owned that club?
Makes sense.
It does make sense.
He got his fucking talons.
in everything.
They couldn't get
a fucking whiskey
at the before.
Me and DeRosa
went to get a drink
and they're like no whiskey.
Only,
only tequila,
only this guy's tequila.
And you're like,
yeah.
Did you watch me
go behind the red carpet
at the,
his private area
for a second?
No.
What'd you do?
You would have.
I went over,
I said hi to Keith.
Yeah.
He was very loud.
Yeah.
Or it was very loud.
No, no.
I couldn't hear him.
We couldn't hear each other,
but it was like a nice
guy was like,
hey Keith.
But, you know, it's loud and he's surrounded by people.
Not talking to him, just people.
Yeah.
And then I stood there and I just, remember I was just standing there.
I didn't know if it was like in my mind.
I'm like, am I standing here to like wait to gain audience with Kevin or whatever?
And then I just looked over to my left and I was like, and then I just looked to my left and I was like, is that meek Mill?
And then I just went, I'm going to go back.
I thought the gem popped out.
I go, this isn't like my thing.
And then I, and then I wait.
And if it was Shane or Tony or certain people or Josh Adam Myers, they'd be like, oh,
Oh, sick.
I'm staying here.
Yeah.
I am staying here.
I went outside, smoked cigarette.
Yeah.
Came back in.
When I came back in,
the first person I saw,
Seth Green,
and I got to tell him what I've always,
when I said this,
I go, dude,
I've been hoping in entertainment
for 28 years I've been now,
at least, I was like,
I've been hoping this tell you that we,
which I, by the way,
I have told this before
a million years ago to JFL,
but I know he doesn't remember.
That interaction,
it was an airport interaction.
So seeing him this,
he just watched me on the roast.
I go,
I've been waiting to say this for a long time,
dude,
we went to the same fucking school growing up.
In West Philadelphia, Lambertin, a school, no one would,
that's not like a, you know, it's not one of the main schools out in Philly.
It's just this weird place.
It's kindergarten through 12th grade.
You went before you?
You were the, he's a little older to me, yeah.
Yeah.
But it doesn't matter.
It's kindergarten through 12th grade.
Yeah.
So when the kid didn't matter, so when we were in second grade and he was in, uh, what
did he's figure, maybe like, fifth grade?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't really, no, no, it's not knowing each other were.
he didn't know who I was.
He knew he was because it was like,
hey everyone, Seth
has a commercial, a Fruit Loops commercial,
Seth's in radio days,
Seths in Can't Buy Me Love,
Seth's and it, and it was like,
there would be things that would be cool,
things like, we all liked them
because they did a smart move of the school.
It would be like, tonight's homework,
make sure you go home and watch It,
the mini series with Seth,
and the thing would be like, yeah,
like, yes, Seth.
And then he got like,
I was so fast, I got to tell him that,
and I got to say,
just like when I told the Slip Knock guy
that I saw when he was,
as a kid.
Their reactions are never like,
I feel like all these things I would go,
yo, get the fuck out of here.
That little fucking school was in a prison.
That was nuts.
Holy shit.
And he just started shooting the shit.
He goes, remember it was like,
all we had was like a fucking,
it was like a school in the middle of the shit.
There's things to talk about.
It's a weird school.
And it was just kind of like, ah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, cool.
I'm like, well.
And then I went over and then someone goes,
I think Louis is going to Coke in the middle of the room,
which he wasn't.
Someone just said that to me.
They go, who was some coke in the middle of the room?
I go, what?
And then he obviously was that when he wasn't doing cooking in the room.
But like, I just came in and I saw it.
But Lewis was like, you guys were hammered.
And I wasn't hammered at all.
I was when I was like, all right, guys.
I'm going to go smoke another cigarette.
And then I was like, yeah, I was like, I'm proud of you for making it.
I'm proud of him for 45 minutes.
Adrian was lit and she never gets drunk.
And she was having a good time.
Really?
She was lit.
Just a weird thing.
Again, like, Barlene.
He really.
They were like, she was like, ha.
He really does a thing, though.
What?
Kevin, which is interesting, that like, you know, the branding thing is great for him.
I mean, it's why he's a billionaire, probably.
Yeah.
But, like, just the idea of it to go to this place.
And I was like, I remember going to the bar and I was like, can I get a...
Three drinks.
Of course.
I understand, but it's like, it's tequila exclusively tequila, his tequila.
And just the idea of those things where I'd be like, no, man, you got to just have, like, an open bar.
If you want, maybe, maybe, because you're like, there'll be people that are influencing more money.
He's got billions.
But, like, to go, the only tequila will have is my tequila, but, but, well, obviously, we'll have everything else.
Vodka, white claws, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
Or go, yeah, we have everything.
I think the way we would do is we have everything, but also here on top is my tequila all around the row.
So you see it.
If it's like a Mark Norman.
It's like you're going to show.
He didn't say get bodega, get all the whiskeys out of the bars.
No, but all, but you do all specialty.
Hey, we're doing specialty things.
It's all with his grand corner, you know, whatever.
It was so funny, they gave me two bottles in the green room for my trailer that I just gave to a, Justin and Adam.
I gave to her.
That's cool.
I go, here you guys.
I'm not bringing this back to New York.
So I'm like that.
And then the other day I got home, I got a delivery.
And it's like a bottle of, it's like, hey, thanks for.
light me up, you know, whatever.
It's like, whatever the standard note he wrote to everybody was.
It's not personalized. Who? Kevin.
But just goes, you know, it's like, thanks for light me up.
And it's like a bottle of grain.
I don't want this.
Stop.
I've already given it away twice.
Yeah.
I don't drink whiskey.
By the way, by the way, it's a nice bottle.
So in my mind, I'm like, oh, no, I will keep this.
No, you'll keep it there.
It's a really beautiful bottle.
You have that Japanese whiskey.
It's just a funny thing to keep like, it's like, hey, man,
I don't care about booze this much, man.
forcing it on me.
Stop.
Give me a
fucking
free Netflix
account for a year.
I hope
that was a good story.
I hope that was a good
travel story.
That was.
The one Kevin Hart
story also includes you
is you're doing
what's your fucking deal
at Montreal.
I was the audience,
Mike,
and Kevin Hart,
every seven or eight years
he remembers
he was friends with you.
Yeah.
And he'll pop a setup.
And you were like
trying to like
kind of get people
to know about it,
the show.
And he goes,
I'll do one,
which was cool.
He just popped in.
Yeah.
He was like,
like, yeah, I'll be there.
If I get done with this, I'll be there where you're like 50, 50 he comes.
I don't know.
But it was one comic after another.
So what's your fucking deal?
And there's an audience, Mike, where in case people get, like, everyone's been talking
in the front row.
Yeah, a little trapped.
You just got somebody in the back.
Yeah, I think my moment.
Do you ever do it at Gramercy?
No.
It is some place where I was audience, Mike.
Indoor, indoor theater.
It might not have been a theater.
It was probably the gantry loft when we did it at the big place when we, or the big
room when we did Skank Fest in Brooklyn.
That's a big room.
Okay.
Yes.
Did an old black comic do that show
Like Tracy Morgan or Yaakov Smyranoff, he's not black, but or Arsenio?
No.
No, no, no, no, who's the guy that was on a living color?
David Allen-Girrard.
Different world, different world.
Simbad.
Sinbad.
Was he on that one?
No, that was Simbad did one.
That was a JFL Toronto.
It was a JFL.
That was DeRosa's audience, Mike, and Simbad wouldn't do crowdwork.
he just kept doing material.
And then about,
but he did 90 minutes.
And when DeRosa, about 45 minutes
came in the green room,
he goes, I don't know what I'm doing
out there with this microphone, dude.
He goes, because he would go like this,
because he was doing a material
and it's a crowd work show.
So I remember Joe going like,
he's like, man, I've been watching
a lot of movies about vampires lately.
Like Simbad would say that.
And he goes, hey Simbad.
He goes, this guy over here
looks like he is a vampire.
He goes, uh-huh.
Vampires apparently don't like silver
and they don't like,
he goes right to his show.
Uh-huh.
And then Joe just came in like,
you like,
The shows like that, Bobby said that happened to them too.
There's a couple of those, that's why I don't do the show really anymore,
because it's sort of a design flaw in it when people don't do it.
And also the idea is like, it's my show.
I don't want to be audience, Mike.
And I go, I'm actually, though, putting the weight of the show on somebody else, really.
It's like, I do my sets, but really the audience person is the person who's like working on it.
And Bobby, one of them Nashville Fest, dude, he just kept throwing people up door.
Just kept throwing people up.
And Bobby came up and boy, he goes, buddy, I'm standing out there for two and a half hours.
I don't want to do it anymore.
I go, stop, stop doing it.
Because they're not even doing crowdwork anymore anyway.
Just get out of there.
I remember once the one where really was this is what the audience makes should be,
is some comic made a joke about cheating or something like that off a riff of somebody.
And then like 15 rows back on the right side, I was like, as audience might go, hey, I think I might have been to roast on stage.
Hey, when you said cheating before, this guy did a quick glance over to his right, to this chick he was with.
Yeah.
And he goes, oh, really?
And then he goes in on him.
Like, that's what the audience might should be.
But anyway, he's doing a matchout.
I'm audience, like, Kevin Hart's doing this pretty big favor,
coming to a show.
And then he's up there talking to our audience.
And I, like, he told a story.
I couldn't believe he was telling.
I kept telling me, I go, I go, this is film.
We're filming this.
Oh, yeah.
He goes, it's fine.
I go, all right, and I think at the time,
like his new chick was there.
Wow.
But it was the story.
I mean, it was just like a chick story.
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't like.
Nothing illegal anything.
It was from before.
It was just a shitty thing he did.
Yeah.
And, you know, in a weird way.
And it's like, when you tell, I mean, like, I thought it a bunch of such ago.
I must say that to summarize it.
It was just like, it was a girl I was hooking up with that I thought liked me a lot.
Yeah.
And I was just like, you know, in my mind, I was really the thing.
And he was like, yeah, dude, I think that chick's kind of like a whore, which she was.
But he was like, I think she's kind of, he was, it's one of those friends.
It's a bit of a dicky move because, like, the thing is, warn me, you're warning me for what?
What do you about tell you?
I'm going to marry her or something?
I'm like, I'm just having fun.
And I think when I said, I think I got under his skin
When I gave him like, I go, I think you're just mad
Because she fucking came and like Wong at my direction
And that's usually not how it goes
Like we do a lot of black shows together
So it's like you end up
I end up entertaining some like fucking pile of pudding
While you fucking fuck a hot chick in the bathroom
So like
So I finally got a hot girl
She wouldn't eat hot
Yeah
She was cute
Yeah
Chubby girl but she was cute
And it was like
No but she's just like down
And like you know
I'm like when I go to New York
I'm like hooking up
a lot.
You know, me and her
dipping off
to go fucking my car
or whatever.
And I'm like,
he's like, yeah,
she's a whore.
And I'm like,
you're just mad,
whatever.
And then we picked her up
on time.
And he was just like,
he got in the back seat with her
while I was driving.
He was like,
yeah,
he's like,
Jason, you suck really good dick.
And then she just basically
started sucking his dick.
Wow.
And I was like, he's like,
see?
And I was like,
that's that when he started
telling the story,
I was like,
you want to tell this man?
I go,
I go,
I'm not embarrassed of it
I mean, it's a billion years ago,
but it makes you look like you were not a good friend.
And I don't think you were a bad friend,
but that's a bad friend move.
Every time, though, on that show where,
every time I was like,
oh, this guy did this,
you could just tell he wasn't told what the show was
and had obviously no idea who I was.
So it was just like,
he heard something in a loudspeaker going,
hey, this guy over here has a dumb shirt wherever,
and he's like, looks and like,
the look at his face is like,
who is this and who gave him a microphone?
I should work on a Kevin Hart impression
because...
Yeah, you have a lot of
of Kevin our stories.
Yeah, there are,
but there are also,
like, a thing
it's like,
I see, like,
the, what's imitatable.
Yeah.
When he went on that,
that breakfast club show
defending the Rose thing,
but he goes,
Tony Hitchcliff's going to make
those kind of jokes.
You're going to get those jokes.
Would I say him?
No.
But Tony Hinchcliffe.
It's like,
I don't know why something about that
because, like, he's saying Tony Hinchcliff,
and it's like,
I don't think,
I know he knows the name,
but like the familiarity
what he's saying Tony Hinchcliff,
they go,
You guys aren't friends.
Yeah, he's like, you still know each other at all.
Hey, tell me his name 20 times in a row so I make sure to say it right.
I'm that guy.
I have my speech pathologist who comes in and helps me.
Now, Tony Hinchcliff is going to say those kind of jokes.
You don't know what kind of jokes Tony Hitchcliffe says.
You're such in a bubble.
But God bless him, he's still defending it.
And really, I'll say to a thousand times of roost up, dude.
Cheryl Underwood, man.
What a fucking sport.
What a ruler.
What a dog that has gone out there and fucking fought the good fight.
When the jokes were about her, the jokes are about her, and she has to keep going around
being like, everybody, I'm fine.
Stop.
She, like, glances by it in such a good, like, Miss Patway.
When Ms. Pat talks about her, like, molestation.
She's like, and then this guy's dick smell
like this, but I went over there.
You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Sherrillander was like, no, what a great time.
She handled the view pretty good, too.
Oh, I didn't see her on the view.
She did a view.
Didn't they hate her because she was on the talk?
Yeah.
She did the view.
No, you know, it's my, I thought she got a little,
I wouldn't put this on the show either.
This isn't worth it.
But, like, she did say something on that
where it's like, she goes,
I thought I was the big dog at one point.
Because they were,
and that's kind of something other people
have been saying,
they really seem to go at her.
I'm like,
they went in everybody.
They went to everybody.
I don't think it was,
like, disproportionately on her.
No, that's what happens when,
um,
you look at, like.
And she kind of graced,
she kind of, like,
put it out like it was that too.
She kind of goes like,
yeah, you know, it's a,
no, they went to,
they weren't at Tony and Shane Moore.
But she gave herself a bit of like the,
it did feel like they were,
like, it was the roast of me a little bit.
And I was like,
I was like,
Oh, that's weird.
But it doesn't matter because two seconds later,
she's always kind of like,
they ran it by me.
We did the thing.
It worked out for me.
Things are good.
I know Tony.
I think it's probably also like, hey,
so I don't know her,
but like I got to pick on somebody and I can't do it.
Lizzo's going to be tacky.
Anytime anybody asked me,
dude, I just said the flat-out thing I said,
I go, I don't know Cheryl Underwood.
I don't know her so well that I wasn't,
well, if I didn't get that information,
but if they were like,
yeah,
so one of the things people were talking about
is her husband killed himself.
It's not a dig on Tony or,
or anybody who made a joke about that,
especially if they talked to her,
I would just be like,
even if I called her and asked her if it was okay,
unless I had a joke that was like
such a monster about that,
that I'd go, hey, I think this is so funny,
like, would I run it by,
but besides that, I would just go,
I don't know, or so I'm just gonna not be a voice.
Because I said, I used to, friends calling me fat.
I remember the first time,
dude, Eddie F, did I got Eddie F's face
a million years ago now,
20-some years ago now,
but it was a, you know,
I went on stage,
did eight fat jokes about myself
and then got off stage.
He just goes, hey guys, how about it for that fat fuck, huh?
And we came up, I go, hey, man.
No.
I go, we're not friends like that.
I go, so whatever you're doing right there, I don't like that at all.
And that was Bobby Slayton, too.
That's funny.
Wait, okay, go back to him.
Sorry.
Thank you for having me.
Dude, that ruled.
That was fun.
So here's what I ask everybody at the end.
Is any place calling you to go?
And then if you have any travel tips, I assume, like,
don't lose all your luggage before.
Yeah, travel tips.
Make sure you keep your suitcase handy.
And bring it with you wherever you go.
Nobody will bring it home for you.
And what was the first thing you said?
No, no, for real.
A place is calling me.
Yeah, some place you want to go in the world.
It's not like the number one, but you just feel like,
maybe I want to go there one day.
Yeah, like, not.
Not spring.
I like, I really like green places.
Okay.
So it's like, I do like that.
I think I would really like, like, like,
seeing, again, like, when I go to, like, Washington States and stuff, so whatever, like,
the foreign equivalent of, like, those rolling hills is beautiful, but the desolation of it
you don't like.
I don't like.
So it's, like, probably, to me, it's more like when Sal and then was like, we went to Fiji.
I was like, that.
That sounds like a thing where I'm like, okay.
I'm, I'm looking for all-inclusive.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to overthink it, but I also want to, like, because I said the thing, if I'm going to
do with things, it's going to be literally, I want to watch movies while I'm in a pool looking at
an ocean doing it a thing.
Do you know what I mean?
I want to do my thing, but I want like,
yeah, yeah, swingers.
Yeah, you want it taken care of?
Yeah, okay.
I'd like some fucking salty swingers maybe
to be there.
Well, there's places for you.
There's putticana and places like that and like, yeah, yeah.
No, absolutely.
I said those are the place, though.
I said aside from like, again, I just also buy all the hype of like,
no, but you know, my fucking daughter,
like at any given time, I can just go,
hey, I'm going to go to my ex-mother-in-law's place in Santa Marta on the beach of Columbia.
And I'm like, yeah, the problem is I'm going to go out there on the beach.
I'm not going to understand the television out there.
And then the food's going to be weird.
And then I'm probably going to get kidnapped and they're going to kill me if my parents don't pay money.
Which you're not going to enjoy it.
It's not going to happen, but you're not going to enjoy it.
Because in my mind, I'm just kind of like, this is so like, oh, my God, is that a loose chicken?
Like, things like that.
Yeah.
Is that chicken,
is that chicken we're spoken for?
What's crazy you think to worry about?
It's so funny.
Is it just a native chicken walking around?
Like a pigeon?
That's weird.
By the way, so I get the same feeling in fucking Ebor City.
Yeah, like, is that loose roosters?
All right, so you're going to resort somewhere.
Okay, very nice.
Jay, everybody,
check him out on his alone's podcast every week.
week called Legion of Skanks.
I have been the president.
I was the one-time most.
I was the Conan O'Brien of that show.
And now I do it alone.
Ever since Lewis quit.
Passing of Lewis.
Aggressively, a Lewis unfortunately died.
In a crazy accident or road rage or heart attack or...
The bets should be on Kashi on Lewis.
Type of death.
Type of death would be...
Yeah, you know what?
That might be part of the fucking Argevier last episode.
What's Lewis mostly die of?
Yeah, it goes, if Lewis dies before...
before you come back, what would it be from?
That's a great subject.
Yeah, it's not bad.
I like that.
Thank you, Bubba.
Yeah, all those tour dates at bigJocryson.com, comedy?
BigJcom.
BigJcom.
And I'll do the bumper and do over everything.
But dude, I'm going to miss you.
You've got to come back.
I'm going to miss you too.
All right, everybody.
That's the episode.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much, Big J. O'Cerson for tuning in.
Next week, I believe it's Joe DeRosa telling us about either Japan or somewhere else.
I'm not sure.
But Big J.O.C.
centers right now. What a fucking joy to have. Honestly, always brings it. Subscribe,
wherever you're watching and listening and go subscribe to his Instagram right now or his YouTube.
Big J. Comedy. Big J. O'Kerson. Just search for it. I don't really know the name.
And reach out to him, by the way. Give him a DM and tell him you enjoyed him in this episode and
please come back. He's always good. He's always good. He doesn't even travel that much. But when he has,
he always brings a great story. He's one of the best stories. It's awesome to have a storyteller that's
amazing and also a crowdwork guy that's amazing. And also his bits are pretty
fucking good. How many women cops could you beat up? 99. It's a great bit at the end of
dog belly, which I produced. We produced three specials now. Me? Oh, no. Adrian Apollucci,
Big J. Oaksson, Salvo Cano. Salvo Cano's got an episode coming soon where he interviews me
about my trip to Egypt. Please subscribe so you can get notified when that comes. I think I've
done shit enough. You want to subscribe. Before I go, first of all, this
Podcasts is produced by your mom's house network, edited by Alan Caffey, helped along by Chris Larson and Niana Palette.
But what I wanted to tell you is, it's been one year that I've been growing up my hair.
One year, let me give you a good look at my hair.
And I got to decide what to do with it now.
It was July 31st, 2025.
I shaved it bald.
You see it all?
You see it all.
Still not growing in there.
Shaved it all bald in the lounge of Mexico City.
Yeah, I got bumped up to first class on the Mexico to southern Mexico,
to a beach where I started my six, seven-month travel across Latin America.
Yeah, I'm Ari Guevara.
Che Guevari.
Damn, Norm would come up with something good.
And I shaved a bald and I've grown it since then.
It's got me in a little trouble.
I remember a few times I was in Colombia.
where they really care about their appearances,
the women, the highest level of plastic surgery in the world and the men,
I mean, they constantly go in and I go,
la barba no is bueno.
They all these barbers, like, come on, dude, obviously, come in, come get a fixed up.
I'm like, no, I'm not touching it, bro.
I'm not touching it.
I did shave the neck parts.
That's about it.
A year.
I don't know what to do now.
I might go mullet.
I might go shave mullet to honor the memory of Theo Vaughn, rest in peace.
You're one of the greats, man, and I'll miss you every day.
I remember our talks, Saratiana's parties back in the day.
You were awesome.
And I never thought, I never thought a fucking skittles overdose would have taken you down.
Yeah, if you don't know, Theo Vaughn was having a good time, a wedding between his cousin and a squirrel,
and there was free skittles, and he just couldn't stop eating.
He just couldn't stop eating.
Eatin, sorry, in honor his memory.
And he's gone now.
but maybe to honor them, I'll get a mullet.
Maybe I'll do the lemmy thing longer.
Maybe I'll just keep it going and shave this.
Leave a comment.
Tell me what styles I should make.
If you can do a gift or a picture in that comment
so I can see what you're talking about, even better.
And it helps the podcast.
Please tell a friend about this show.
Why not?
I'll tell you some of my...
Because I'm probably not going to do an episode about Amsterdam.
I do usually have a rule for this podcast.
Well, three rules.
No politics.
unless it directly involves the trip you were on,
not even if they got into something later.
Case in point, Myanmar.
Didn't see any of it, had no effect on my,
it was in a short window where the army had given up control.
Ansanststru Kyi was out of house arrest.
And so what am I gonna weigh in on the politics?
I can tell you what I heard from people.
You know, I talked to someone,
I did it at the end of an old skeptic tank,
which again, guys, I got one comment,
so I'm not sure I don't do it.
Do you guys want me to put the skeptic?
skeptic things up on the UB trip and Patreon.
I got to put them behind a payroll. But if that's something you want,
yeah, but let me know if you want to or not.
The only way to reach me really is comments for the first two days of this episode
where I weigh in and kind of reply and stuff, make some jokes.
And also on Only Trails. I'm the number one comic on Only Trails.
You can see kind of my whole trip through Latin America. If you go to my only
trails, Ari Shafir. It's a picture of me, I think, in front of Montrepechevue.
What was it going to say?
I think I've been not given apartments here in London because of my appearance.
It's crazy, but they like look at me and they go, it's actually full, and then I see it still in the market.
It's got to be this, but I don't want to play that game, but I do want to get a place.
It's been frustrating.
It's been very frustrating.
I've not gotten settled at all.
I knew it would be difficult, but I didn't know it would be this difficult.
Fuck.
Shit.
Anyway, let me tell you about my Amsterdam because I won't do a trip.
So here's my rules.
politics, unless it involves that. Like, for instance, if you were in Palestine during the invasion
or at the Nova Festival during that invasion, sure, politics plays a role. Or if you're in politics,
you know, if your thing was being an ambassador in a place, or working in an ambassador's
house during the invasion in Libya, sure politics is going to play into that. But generally,
Nah. And it's been covered, and I don't think, honestly, my rules, I don't think comics should cover it. We don't really know enough, and it's kind of silly.
I do see a lot of hypocrisy on both sides, so I can't help as a antagonist to kind of poke at both sides going like, yeah, what about that?
It's fun, it's fun. Drum sucks, Biden sucks, Obama sucks, Clinton sucks, Bush sucked. I know what to tell you. None of them did what they promised.
I don't even weigh in.
I just kind of like tune in once in a while
my friends are saying some shit.
I'm like, let me research us.
And I go, nah, this is wrong.
Anyway, anyway, and I have friends
on both sides of almost everything.
Almost every Middle East,
American politics.
And now, finally, in England,
I'm left out of it,
because I don't know who your president is right now.
Anyway, the rules are,
no politics, no resorts.
Because really, unless you got really rowdy,
unless you were at Hotel Rwanda,
I'll do one of those.
No resorts.
And no answers.
because it just talks about I got so high and I lost my way around.
I'm sure I'll do another one if I get pressured of like,
hey, I really need it out.
I have a special coming out.
I'm sure I'll do it.
But like, I really, I guide myself not to.
And I get drawn into politics, obviously, all the time.
It's the antagonist that makes me just poke.
It's like Shane had an interview where he said he was talking about.
And they were saying how the women's soccer team was just as good as the men's.
And he's with a bunch of women athletes.
And his friends, like, don't.
Don't say it. Don't say it.
Because you want to be like, wow, I mean, come on.
They said, you know, George Bush is worse than Hitler.
Barack Obama's worse than Hitler.
Trump is worse than Hitler.
And you're like, wow, I mean, I don't know about worse.
My brother has a story.
There was a shooter in a sniper in Washington, D.C.
I don't know if you guys remember this, 20-something years ago.
First, it was like an MTA worker.
And you're like, oh, maybe they're doing government workers.
Then it was like someone who used to be a mailman.
I'm like, okay, it could be government workers.
Then it was just some random other person.
than a woman, then an old man.
And then it was like,
it's totally, we don't know who this is.
The city was on high alert, the suburbs too.
Turned out, it was a guy driving his nephew around.
His nephew, what a shot, by the way,
through a hole in the trunk, sniping people.
I mean, what a shot.
Democrats, you got to recruit him.
If I had one, anyway,
I mean, if you want to take matters in your own hands,
I'm not against it.
But you've got to do the training first, you know?
Luke Skywalker fucking went and trained with Yoda before he went and tried to kill the Death Star.
You can't just go, I'm going to do it.
What?
You think you're just going to learn how to snipe?
You got a trade, bro.
Anyway.
Got my ear.
You got piercing?
Great.
Message well put.
Dorks.
Anyway.
God, the other side is calmer because they've got to be better shots from what I understand.
Anyway, anyway.
What was I saying?
What was I saying?
What was I saying?
Oh, so the sniper was going around.
And then people were calling it fake tips.
So my brother was talking to someone at work, and they go,
the guy who's calling it fake tips,
it's making the police go and investigate that.
And he's actually worse than the sniper.
My brother goes, well, I mean,
it can't be worse than the sniper.
The sniper's worse.
And they go, oh, you're on the sniper side?
I'm like, no, no, I'm just saying.
Somebody distracting the police is not worse
and the guy who's actually killing people.
And then the lady at work goes,
all right, fine, well, just as bad.
And he goes, I mean, you're making me take the sniper side here.
No, not just as bad.
The sniper is much worse.
So anyway, that's my general rule.
And if you hear me go, this is something I do in podcasts a lot too.
You can always tell.
Or if somebody says something, you go, oh, okay.
Oh, really?
Which means I don't know and I don't really care to talk about it.
So if you seem to know, you seem to know.
But I'm not going to sit here and check you on something.
I have no idea about.
So I go, oh, really?
Oh, okay.
That's me going, can we move on, please?
It's kind of like when you're a party
and someone gets a little too racist
and you don't know them at all.
And maybe they're joking, benefit of the doubt,
but also maybe they're not joking.
And you don't want to hear it,
but you're also not going to be the guy.
Look, none of us are the guy goes,
hey, man, that's not cool.
I won't stand for this.
That's not the reality.
The reality is, I just want this to stop.
And I want to move away.
And so if I can see a friend go,
all right, I'm like, oh, excuse me one second.
I'm not going to lay down the law.
I'm anti-conflict in person.
So I just go,
anybody brings up anything like that, I go,
oh, oh, yeah?
And then once in a while, I'll say so.
But anyway, no Amsterdam,
but Jay did a great Amsterdam.
But my Amsterdam says I'll never get to it.
Obviously the first time I got to.
Obviously the first time you might have heard about this
and my special on Netflix double negative
where I got the best grilled cheese sandwich of all time
right next to the Anne Frank House.
Guys, I need to get the word out better because I've only made one or two statements about this.
The place is under new ownership.
I went back.
I got reports that it wasn't good.
And I go, you're being a naysayer, you're being negative.
How dare you?
It was the best.
Multiple different cheeses.
I wish I could show you the special on Netflix right now.
But they have pretty strong copyright rules and they won't.
Let me put it on here.
Can't even screen grab a Netflix special.
Can't even press screen recorder.
It comes up black.
Pretty smart.
Netflix, do comments at least.
Anyway, it's new ownership.
I went back myself to test it, and I'm like, man, this is just a foreman grill,
one slice of cheese and a foreman grill.
So do not go back to that place.
It's not the same.
It is not the same.
And in Frank House, still quite the same.
Still very much the same.
That grilled cheese sandwich is gone.
And I walked around and I tried some coffee shops, which is what they're called,
where you get high.
You know, I was already a pot smoker, so I wasn't, like, I wasn't, like, debilitated from it.
You know? Also, from my experience in Europe, Copenhagen, Kirstanya, better.
Haven't been to Spain. I haven't tried the weed in Spain. No, I did try the weed in Spain,
but I haven't been to the dispensaries there, so I don't know. I've heard Spain might be better.
And then also Eastern Europe is a whole other thing that I won't even count.
But from my experience in limited experience, Norway, everywhere I went and got wheat,
Copenhagen, Denmark was the best. And not Amsterdam.
But the last time
I was there
You know, I've gotten weed
And I'm sure I stopped in and got some
I walked around and I went to some park
And I can't even tell you what it was
But I saw a video piece
I went to see her Yayoakasama
You know, she's like great
Anytime she's had any exhibit anywhere go
It's in Finley rooms
They're so fucking cool
I kind of want to copy it making myself
Which I probably could
If I found an apartment
Big enough with spare room
That I can make an experience room
I saw a video piece.
I don't have it.
I don't have it.
I'm going to leave it in the comments.
I'll leave it and I'll pin the comment.
First comment.
There was a quote in there.
It was a video piece between a poet and a videographer and a musician.
And it was in an all mirrored room.
The whole video screen on one side.
And I sat and I watched through the mirror.
And it was talking about this.
I was talking about the cell phone, iPhone, iPhone 13 Mini,
and how much of life we lose.
And every time, man, I was like, I got to get off this thing.
I got to get off.
As soon as I find an apartment, I'm going back to a flip phone.
Light phone.
Maybe I'll get a light phone if they give service in the UK.
I mean, I got to get on WhatsApp.
Everybody uses WhatsApp here, so I don't know how to do it.
Anyway, I'll figure out a way because I'm losing my life.
It was the quote with something along the lines,
and I'll leave it in the comment, I'll pin the comment.
If you, if you, beauty's so soft, let me see if I have it in here.
I will tell you right now, go check out Big J comedy.
So soft.
Whisper.
Nope, all accounts.
ICloud, share notes.
Nope.
On my phone, notes.
Beauty.
Nope. I don't have it. It's about how if you just stay quiet and still for a minute,
you can realize life's beauty. And it's gay. I know what I'm saying, but I found that sometimes.
When I was in Edinburgh, I had my flip phone. I was passing by like a children's hospital.
I got to like, you know, I'm not on the phone. Normally, I'm here now. I'm constantly on it.
And I looked up and I saw these like drawings from these kids in the windows. It was like really cool.
kind of like you know little things touch you
this takes you away from just observing around you
I'm killing I'm talking to myself by the way
every time a comedian just tip says I don't read comments
it's because they read comments
you know what they also don't say
I don't start worse
yeah they don't say that because they never did
and they don't even think about it
I don't read comments means they read comments when they're trying not to
or they're trying to let you know that you're not going to get through to them
on the comments I read the comments on this for the first
two days and respond to them.
Be still and you hear
the whisper of beauty so soft, something like that.
I'm going to write in the comments to who it is
and what the quote was.
And I'm watching it through a mirror
so I can see myself and the video behind me.
I've turned around.
Man, it hit me.
And then I went outside and there's all this outdoor stuff,
outdoor sculptures and stuff.
Isn't it great art?
It hits you even way later.
Dron, boo.
Yeah, anyway, I love Amsterdam, and it's one of the top comedy scenes in the world.
Boom, Chicago is a great club.
Their local shows are packed.
If you find yourself in Amsterdam, go see a local show.
It's going to be pretty good.
It's not going to be a level of New York.
It's not going to be a level of New York or London or L.A. or Austin.
But it will be really good.
Berlin, Amsterdam.
There's great comedy scenes popping up all over.
I got to think Mumbai and New Delhi, too, but I don't know about great.
Anyway, let me give you Jay's dates real quick, so you go see it.
Big J.com.
Here we go.
Go see them.
Go get a ticket right now.
Levittown, Royal Oak, Michigan, Albany, New York, Virginia Beach, Timonium, Maryland.
That's Baltimore.
Cleveland, Ohio, Seattle, Seattle, Denver, Colorado, the best club in the world,
the Denver Comedy Works, Rochester, New York,
Austin, Texas, and the mothership,
that's going to be sold out anyway.
If you want tickets, you better to go to that right now.
Halloween weekend.
Brea, California, New Orleans, New Brunswick.
Louisville, Kentucky.
Louisville Comedy Club.
By the way, best chain in the country,
the Bricktown Comedy Chain,
which is Louisville, Tulsa, Oklahoma City,
that one in Indiana.
Where else is there?
I think they have one in Tacoma?
Philadelphia, New York, Boston, Massachusetts at the Wilbur.
Whoa, he's going to do multiple shows there.
That's it.
Go to bigjiccommy.
Guys, that's it.
Yeah, Amsterdam kind of rules.
The Anne Frank Museum is great.
The Bowles Museum is a good tip.
Go to the bowls, and they give you, like, they touch you how to, you've never drinking bowls,
but you see it at bars, and this might have stopped by now.
It might be stopped in the heat.
But they give you all these testers, and they let you have a couple free glasses.
Pretty cool.
The Heineken exhibit, where you see,
The umpalumpa is making their Heineken.
They take their Heineken boat and make them, and that's great.
And then the fucking no ear dude, Van Gogh, his museum is pretty great.
And then whatever this modern art museum, I like modern art.
Anyway, guys, that's the episode.
I hope you enjoy it.
Next week, Joe DeRosa, I think I might be wrong.
I might be wrong.
Joe DeRosa is in two weeks.
Next week is either Noam Dwarman on Israel or
Fuck.
Prison episode.
Fuck.
I forget.
Subscribe anywhere.
You don't want to miss a Deros episode.
And whoever the next one is,
also you don't want to miss.
That's it, everybody.
Hope you enjoyed the episode.
Go get the end right now, by the way.
Seven episodes of the end for the price of five,
plus you get the free prequel,
plus you get every episode of YMH live right now.
Go and get it.
Seven for the price of five
plus every episode of YMH live
where you see Joey Diaz coming out of retirement.
You see, this is a limited time.
You only get this for the next two weeks.
already bought it you get it and you see the peg in the ass in the gimp's ass where they play
ring toss man man they really figure out how to do a live show all right guys bye please
say this to recording yes it is bye bye
