You Be Trippin' - Big Jay Oakerson Goes to Germany & Amsterdam | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Follow Big Jay on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bigjayoakerson/ SPONSORS: -What if you actually controlled your money? Get started with Rumble Wallet and use the code TRIPPIN5 to claim... $5 in US Stablecoin (USA₮)! Download now: http://wallet.rumble.com/trippin Void where prohibited. No purchase necessary. Offer available to US residents only. Offer not available in New York State. Must be 18+. Offer is available for a limited time and for the first 1000 wallets activated and funded. Restrictions apply. Details and full official rules available at http://rumble.com/promoofficialrules . This is a paid advertisement for Rumble Wallet. Rumble is compensating me for this ad. -Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/7chyhxwm #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card.  Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit https://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. -The Everyday Earbuds Classics are the perfect back-to-school companion. Go to https://buyraycon.com/TRIPPIN to get 20% off. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring! -Head to https://Superpower.com and use code TRIPPIN at checkout for $20 off your membership. Get 100+ biomarkers tested every year. Plus a personalized health plan and on-demand care team. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Big Jay Oakerson is back to talk about his mini tour of Europe from his early days in comedy. If you thought his last trip to South Africa sucked, wait until you hear about his series of unfortunate events in Germany and Amsterdam. From losing his luggage to getting swindled in the Red Light District, Jay's time wasn't the best...but at least it makes for a great story! They wrap the episode with a little inside scoop about The Roast of Kevin Hart. Tschüss and tot later! You Be Trippin' Ep. 130 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:38 - Being Poor 00:14:02 - Big Jay Goes to Germany 00:25:38 - Fatty on the Carnival Rides 00:39:07 - Black Pool Party 00:50:35 - Next Stop, Amsterdam 00:56:39 - Red Light District 01:03:24 - Trip Grand Finale 01:14:23 - The Roast 01:32:29 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:30 Hello, Trippers. Welcome back to a banger new episode of U.B. Trippin. We welcome the return of the king, Big J. O'Cerson. That's right. Trippie Award winner for Worst Trip of the Year, 2024. He is making his return to tell us about Amsterdam. Big J. O'Cerson, if you don't know, is one of the best comics working today. Legitimately, maybe the best live performer in the world, maybe of all time. Maybe you've seen him on as specials as They, They, Them, directed by my director, Eric Abram.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Or Dog Belly, produced by me, one of my great, great wins as a, in the stand-up comedy world. And he's here today to tell us about Ubichibra. Big J is, guys, you got to see him live. His stuff, dog belly on Netflix, they, them on YouTube. They're all great. But to see him live, this is really see his joy. He's legitimately one of the best.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Maybe the best. I'm not joking. You ever hear a musician where you're like, oh, their stuff is good. But then you see him live and you're like, it's a whole other level. Billy Strings, Mews, the last dinner party. Danny Brown.
Starting point is 00:01:28 When you see them, you're like, oh, my God, I didn't know it could. be like this. And that's what Jay is. Every single time you see him is a whole different show. I suggest any time you can, do yourself a favor. It's a guaranteed good date night, good friend night. Go see Big Jay O'Crison on the road. But first, we've got them on an episode of you be tripping. Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. Do me a favor. A lot of people get unsubscribe without them knowing it. Go right now. It's the best way to support this show. Click the subscribe button. And guys, sit back and enjoy one of the true joys of comedy.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Big Jay O'Kerson telling us about Amsterdam. Yeah. Big J, back. Trippy Award winner, making his return. Thank you. Thank you. So you'd be tripping. What was your award? I know what it was. I think it was craziest trip. Worst trip.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Worst trip. Yeah, worst trip. Chris O'Connor won it last year. Oh, yeah. It was, yeah, because it was going over. Yeah. My life fell apart, and then I went South Africa. Just using calling. What was South Africa like? The calling card system wasn't the best. Yeah, yeah. It was pretty rough. I had to get worded to back home a couple times. You had to go get yelled at.
Starting point is 00:02:34 A lot going on. For sure. But you're back now, Jay, fresh off the roast. And now we're going to do one about where? An early comedy trip to Germany and Amsterdam. Those two countries. Yeah, that's all I ended up making it for you. Play the music.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Where you've been and where you're going? This is our East Travel Show. Oh, yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's you. Yeah. That was music, Jay. Nice.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Yeah. I like that. That was a theme song. It got me hyped. It's not the same as the Legion of Skanks style theme song. No, no, no. Outback campfire vibes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:20 It's more of a conversational energy. Yeah. Hey, guys, guys, come on. Yeah, we're the theater at the higher volume. They flicker the light. Yeah. The light flit. of podcasting.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Also, my co-hosts on, I'll do this stuff later, I guess. On Legion of Skanks, as of right now, definitely not as of when this comes out. I'll be long gone. This will be retro. Jay, let's talk about this trip. It's pretty cool, because you're one of the, you don't really travel.
Starting point is 00:03:52 No. Yeah. All of my traveling ever, especially internationally. Yeah. Has always been comedy related. Nothing. I did The World Stans Up in London. So I did a couple gigs around London.
Starting point is 00:04:07 That was the only reason I went there ever. Okay. I went back there. One, I was back there at a time before. I was right there for Black Show promotions. In London? Yeah. Staying with a guy named John Simmit.
Starting point is 00:04:21 It was very sweet. And he was the yellow teletubby. No. Yeah. Already or green? No, he was like at that point already. Maybe he was done doing it by that point. Was he a billionaire?
Starting point is 00:04:32 He did comedy. No, he had like a nice, like what do we call it, like a townhouse, like attached to other houses? Where Tel Tulletub is completely engulfed? And you would say, yeah. So they're like, try a negotiation. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Goodbye. You're taking what you could take. Yes, exactly. Can anybody do it? Hey, we like having around the office. So we, okay, we'll miss that. So we'll pay you a little bit, but. He goes, a bum would do this for food.
Starting point is 00:04:58 If the union let us pay bums in food, We would save a lot of money. I don't think the voices were them either. It was like the people inside of it versus the thing. It's like, uh, you do your hands than good. It's more impressed to be a power ranger than a telotuby. Mm-hmm. Because at least the power ranger, they have to assume you do the, uh, karate.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Oh, yeah, you do a jump kick. But I stayed with him and did, uh, these black shows out there. And they were, I was in the black circuit at that point, so they were like fine. I had a decent time. But again, it was everything like traveling. I've never also traveled ever. with money where I can go to the place
Starting point is 00:05:32 and be like, well, yeah, I want to stay in a good place that I want to stay and it's, I've just kind of like, what are they giving us? So I've done,
Starting point is 00:05:38 I was at his house for a couple nights with like wonky, spotty internet so many years ago too, you know, like, uh, and then, um,
Starting point is 00:05:47 and then ended up staying in like, whatever there. I think me and Will Silvance did a couple of the shows together. And they put us in like, whatever they said, it's like their version of Holiday Inn was, but it's like caught beds. It was like,
Starting point is 00:05:59 It was so bad. The beds were associated me and Will shared a room, I think. It was like, as far as you look, you're a bit of a debutante. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, maybe that's what held you back from actually going places. You're like, I'm not doing this in not style. Right, not the brookist way.
Starting point is 00:06:13 And if you can't do it style, then you're like, I just won't do it. Yeah, I'd rather not go. Exactly. One time we were talking about the subway, I don't want to say at a hotel that I can afford that because it sucks. We were at your old place on the cut with a bum block. Yeah. Bum block nine. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Bumlock 5. Yeah. Yeah. And Bannon still walks by there. sometimes. Really? And I'm walking, and she's like, no, hold on,
Starting point is 00:06:31 I was going to stoop. Something here. I remember something. Yeah. Something good happened here. What was it? But, uh, oh, shit,
Starting point is 00:06:40 what was I going to say? Oh, I know. And we were like, let's take the subway to wherever we're going. And you're like, no, no, a car will be faster. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:06:47 okay, you always take a car, whatever. And then I looked and I was like, actually, I know there's traffic right now. It's like 35 minutes in a car and 20 in a subway. And you're like,
Starting point is 00:06:55 yeah, we're going to take the car. Yeah, it's just, Yeah, because, you know, we could, like, sit there and roll the window down and maybe even talk to a guy and let me smoke. Yeah. Oh, those are fun. Yeah, so if you had some money, what you do now, fresh off the roast, you're a multimillionaire. I've been here. We all know what you got.
Starting point is 00:07:13 There's millions. Millions upon millions of dollars. For doing those sick jokes. No. Ask me there, me. Not a millionaire at all, but I will say that I could definitely, like, yeah, I could. It's made me think more about it now, when someone's like, hey, you want to go to wherever, I go, I guess I could, you know, when, you know, when. People start saying places like, well, somebody will be like, dude, you got to see Italy.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Like, I'm going to be in a shanty or something. Or in like, you know, their holiday in that's going to be bad. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, no, I guess I can go now and like pick a nice place. I'm going to do like that's going to be the trip. Yeah, you get Airbnb and like Florence or one of those. Is that an Italian city? Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 00:07:47 I don't know. Florence, Italy. It sounds right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's, yeah, any of those places, you know what I mean? Turks and King, you know, any kind of like a tropical place sounds fantastic if you could do it right. I would love to see you right. I would love to see you write an international travel tour of Seamelesses.
Starting point is 00:08:02 I just say, what can you get sent to your Airbnb or hotel in all these different spots? Oh, hell yes. Yeah, dude. No, hand it here, bro. Hand it here. That's not what we're talking about. I need it today. Thanks, buddy.
Starting point is 00:08:16 What does this change? Here, keep the change. Sean. Thank you. Only because it was under $10. You know, you say, it's funny. It means something to it. It means something to them.
Starting point is 00:08:25 I had that idea. I was behind a guard. garbage truck in my neighborhood. Yeah. The other day, and as the truck pulled off, the guy on the back, cash fell out of his pocket. And he's, you could hear him screaming, screaming to the guy. Like, yeah, sure. You can see him. Screaming to which guy. I was like, stop. No, screaming to the guy driving. Yeah, like, please stuff. But he just keeps going. So I get out of the car and I picked it up for him. No, it's like, you know, drive it up. And I drove it up to him.
Starting point is 00:08:56 when he comes over my win, it was a $10 bill. But I mean, he was like, thank you so much, man. Thank you so much. You're like, yeah, you're welcome, man. I feel like I was doing more of a favor of you
Starting point is 00:09:07 than I actually was. And it's like, oh, I guess, I guess it was pretty... For a hundred you'd back up and go the other way. He was pretty stoked about it. Like, I was surprised how stoked he was for that $10. Like, man, I almost lost that $10.
Starting point is 00:09:17 I'm like, damn, that sucks. But I was there plenty of times in my life. I remember finding $20 in a deli once and being like, it might as well have been like $2,000. I was like this changes my whole week. Uh-huh. My moment of when I realized I was like I was in different categories. I went to a Yankee game with Brenna Zizi and it started raining.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Drizzling, but they were gonna play, you know? And he was like, let's get, and he's already been on a TV show for fucking eight, seven, eight years about that point. And he was like, let's get ponchos, like disposable ponchos. And they were like 10 bucks. And I was like, yeah. And then it hit me like, I've never been able to afford. I would just stay wet. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:54 He's just going to buy a poncho. No way, 10 bucks. I wouldn't have that. And then I was like, oh, I have... Well, it's like poncho or you're like, yeah, the 10 bucks was kind of for like hot dog and soda. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Well, I'm like, no, it would hurt me. That was our game. We used to play with the Sixers. We used to do that. We used to, if you waited until, like, end of the game, you can get like 10 buck tickets. Yeah, exactly. Or two for 20, because, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:15 they weren't even that good, but it was like Iversons for early years. Oh, nice. You used to go sit in, like, the worst seats in the house, but you were still there. Yeah. And, you know, they get deals for it's like family night. It's like $10, you get five hot dogs.
Starting point is 00:10:27 And we're just, my friends would be like, hell yes. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Or you'd sneak stuff in or it was just like not a thought of getting like a beer or a game. I was like, $18. Merch. Merch, any for anything. Merch for anything. Never.
Starting point is 00:10:40 I was never like, I never walked out of like a stadium when you go to a game and be like, I got to grab a jersey. Yeah, no way. No way. The back end even. It's like, that's 150 bucks, man. No way. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:10:50 I went, I did the DC one with Shane. Because he was like whenever you want, I was like, oh, yeah. Kind of home, you know. So it was so fun. But they gave, it's one of those where they gave everybody the jerseys. So it was the Wizards. I asked my brother, I'm like, you still pull for the Wizards? It goes, oh, hell.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I'm like, bro, I got a personalized shirt made for you. Yeah, fuck, yeah. But that's awesome. Yeah, just at Shafir, so it's like, it'll work. Yeah, I got one of those, when I was with Bert, I think, for Oklahoma City Thunder or something that says my name on the back, which is pretty cool. It's, I'm not a Thunder fan, but it's cool. No, but it's still cool.
Starting point is 00:11:22 they made it at all. By the way, you can get that made yourself, but you can get a jerk off. You got it at the stadium. It's good, cool. Everyone's asked me, how have I never made an Eagles jersey with my name on the back?
Starting point is 00:11:31 I don't know why that's gayer than just wearing another guy's name. It's like saying, I'm also on the team. 12 man, guys. 12 man, rise. Exactly. He goes, what did your brother play? Nope, I just had a jersey with my name put on it.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I'm not a member of this team anyway. I'm pretty slow and small and white. I'm a fat, five-three-inch. It's just better to wear a jersey. Just better to wear another man's name on your back. Like, you're his girlfriend, is less gay. Or chicks that wear, like, right? No.
Starting point is 00:11:59 They need to sell chicks jersey that already balled up perfectly. Yeah, tied up on the side. So, yeah, to go back the thing, I mean, not a big traveler. Do you just still do it? Hold on, hold on, I'll do it. But do you still do any, like, poor stuff that you can't shake? I saw Sal walk away from, he was thirsty, walk away from a guy selling waters because it was $1.50 instead of a dollar.
Starting point is 00:12:21 It's a dollar. And the guy's like, a dollar 50, right by the park. And he goes, no way. I'll move. I'll just be thirsty and move on. No, I've, if it makes sense that I'm still, maybe it's like in the thing of it's so new having a couple of, you know, we're nowhere near Sal at all even. But like, no, now it's like, we were just saying before it's like, I never bought merch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:41 So now I go, even though I know it's like, that jacket's definitely going to be a little bit short on me. I'll probably wear it one time only or that hoodie is going to dry once and do it. I just go, it's like, give me that 80s. dollar hoodie though and it's like you know by the way sometimes you get lucky yes and it goes but I mean I remember I bought a run the jewels in a wu-tang we went to go see there like one wash I wore them I wore them both
Starting point is 00:13:01 the thing when they one wash just like they're just like too short now or like you know Ripley they're just like not very cool but now I'm just like give me all of it like that when I go to games at all if I go to a game that that's better for me to go to a game like at the away stadium here to see a Giants game
Starting point is 00:13:17 against the Eagles because like there's no thing for me to walk out of there and be like I mean throw blankets. I'll find reasons for them. I'll find stuff for this. I'll go to the Yankees thing. I'm like, I don't need anything at home space. I live in a way small place than you.
Starting point is 00:13:29 So I'm like, what can, oh, dog toy. Dog toy. I have to, I want to put money back here. I've got. I went to the Phillies one with Shane. He's like, I'm going to go to the team store. Get some stuff. And so he did, and I got a fanatics hat.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I was holding. He goes, you want me going to get that? And I was like, huh? And he goes, oh, you're stealing it? All right. Like, I'm still going to steal when I can. but they uh oh my god the stuff i buy at the at the team store now is i mean how many throw you have throw blankets everywhere in your house everywhere heels doesn't even go with the decor of the room
Starting point is 00:14:02 means nothing well now they're just like outside like let the dog lay on them ones because they are at the end of the day stupid but when you're there and you're like give me that $100 really shittily made you're in a good mood you're drunk yeah not even drunk i've never even drunk at those things it's really walking out they're just like man by the way i'm picturing all the things I go, I would look really cool in that white throwback Eagles jersey. And you get it. You're like, I don't look very cool in it at all. I don't just try it on.
Starting point is 00:14:26 It's not a store. They do. Let's get to your trip. So yes. So not a lot of traveling at all, but way early in comedy right after, it was right after 9-11. It happened. You're welcome. So you're welcome, everybody, bought and paid for.
Starting point is 00:14:45 But it was right after it happened. And they just started like, fly. People, and I remember my parents being so scared because I got offered a, so against this point, I'm doing comedy. Scared. Four years maybe? Yeah. Yeah, because the trap, it just was like flying and stuff because everything was going on. You know, I mean, they made people scared that like, you know, because remember after the 9-11, it was like a guy with a shoe bomb and then I, you know.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Oh, yeah, like it wasn't going to stop for a while. Yeah, it was like things are going to happen. And not long after that, I got offered this, uh, probably why, again, it trickled down to somebody like four years in the comedy. Yeah. At that point is, uh, cool benefits. though. Go ahead. It goes out of 40 years ago because people didn't want to fly and go wherever.
Starting point is 00:15:22 So it was Black Circuit comedy shows, technically. For troops, though. So, but it wasn't U.S.O. It was going to be like, you know, like black bar shows basically out there for military. But for like the black military people parties. Yeah. Like the parties that they're going to hang out at. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:15:45 It's interesting. Yeah. So. Oh, what a weird audience. Very weird. We went the first day, we land in Germany. Frankfort, I want to say? Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Yeah, it's Frankfurt, I believe. And we go to the military, we're doing the show in a big tent where there's at a carnival they're doing. And the carnivals for like the military people. Basically it's like all rides and stuff, but it's like the military people and their families, I guess they brought out there. But it's all black. It's all the black people.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Hey guys, I'm breaking in real quick to tell you a little bit about today's guest, Big J. Ogresson. This is not an ad. This is letting you know who you're listening to. And you should know because he's one of the best live performers, honestly, of all time. He's great. He's a joy to watch. Every time I see him, I'm like, is this magic? So in the pocket, so ready, you can see him three times in a weekend.
Starting point is 00:16:35 And honestly, the shows won't be more than like 20% the same. It's awesome. You should see him live. He's also one of my best friends in comedy, my first friend in New York City. And honestly, producing his... Netflix special was one of my real wins in stand-up. You should see them. Definitely check out Dog Belly on Netflix.
Starting point is 00:16:55 They Them, the Double CrowdWorks special on YouTube. The Roses of Kevin Hart still available. You can check him out on his radio show, The Bonfire, they does with Now Thin Robert Kelly. You can also see him on Legion of Skanks that he does every week with Steve Renazisi and Louis Gomez. Or Story Wars, where I am the all-time champion. besides Jay and Lewis.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Three wins. But you've got to see them live. Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening, by the way. But because a lot of times they unsubscribe people, which is kind of crazy. So hit whatever you're doing. If you want to support the show, you don't have to send in money. Absolutely not. Just hit the subscribe button.
Starting point is 00:17:36 So you're alerted to new episodes. Here's what Jay is going to be on the road. You should get a ticket right now. All tickets are available at bigjaycom. Levittown, New York. We're in August now. Royal Oak, Michigan. Albany, New York.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Beach, Timonium, Maryland, that's Baltimore, at Magoobee's, Cleveland, Ohio, hilarities, Seattle, Denver, Colorado, the Comedy Works downtown, best club in the world. Where else we got? Wow, that's a good one. Rochester, New York, Austin, Texas, and the Comedy Mothership in October. I won't be there because I'll be watching the New York Yankees win the World Series. Brea, California, ooh, good, but, New Orleans, Louisiana, at Skankfest, where I will also be. New Brunswick, New Jersey, Louisville, Kentucky, and rounding out the year, Oklahoma City,
Starting point is 00:18:28 one of the best clubs in the Midwest, Bricktown Comedy Club, and Philadelphia at Helium Comedy Club for his pre-New Year's Eve shows. That's it. So please, also subscribe to Big J. Ogress on Instagram and on YouTube, where he's constantly putting up a new stuff. For myself, I've got one thing to tell you. Obviously, subscribe to this podcast, wherever you're watching the list. If you're watching on YouTube, which I think a lot of you are, or Spotify, between those. it's 90%. Hit subscribe right now. Please do me a favor. That's the best way you can do support the show. And leave a comment for the algorithm. A dumb comment.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Or what I'm hoping is you leave your tails of wherever we're talking about. What you want from that place or where you've been, you know, if you have been to that place. That's it for me. Also, the end is now available at r.orgiafir.com. If you buy it right now, or if you've already bought it, you now, because of the one-year anniversary of YMH Lives, you will get all the way. MH Lives. That's right. The toss a ring toss and with a peg up the butt of a gimp. Yeah, it's a happy couple giving their best per comedy. And now you get every one of them. The YMH Live from Tom Christina. Free if you get the end, which is seven episodes of the top
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Starting point is 00:20:08 That's seven for the price of five. And that's it. Let's get back to the episode. Let's get back to Amsterdam. One of the best comics, one of the best podcasters in the world, Big J. Ocasin, take us back to Amsterdam. Early when we get there, you know, I'm like young enough to, I'm like in my early 20s. So I'm like, hey, I'm like, I'm like, who wants to go on rides at me?
Starting point is 00:20:26 And I'm out there with two black comedians. I don't want to say names for like rides. Yeah. Or I'm out there with three black comedians, actually. One's a female. Very, very funny. Dominique, her name is. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:44 I can give her name. You can say them all. We can bleep them all if you want. Yeah, decide later. Well, one's because, like, I don't want to tell someone else's story on something. It's, like, personal enough that you're like, well, I don't know if they want to say they did this. Oh, 100%. So, like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:59 But we go to Amsterdam. So, uh, anyway, so we, uh, we go to this carnival. And oh, I should actually, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's more, there's more before I leave. I forgot. This is a major part of the story. So, uh, I pack, I'm going to be gone on this trip for, like supposed to be three weeks or something like that two weeks maybe at least when is this in relation to the south africa trip years before years before okay years before isabel was born by then i didn't i didn't i just started dating carla oh my ex-wife wow just started dating and i was coming up from
Starting point is 00:21:35 philly i was still driving up from philly or south jersey every day and i joined the boston comedy club in the village started a uh a basketball team at chelsea pears from the league and i was on the team and I would go. So I was going up there and my plan was, I was flying out the next day from New York but I was like
Starting point is 00:21:55 I'm going to come up there that night. I go, I'm going to go up there and play my baseball or my basketball game. I'm having Carla, my girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:22:04 hey come meet me. I packed my clothes and my suitcase. I'm going to put it in your car later that night and you'll take it and when I come up tomorrow I'm just going to take the train up
Starting point is 00:22:12 and fly out of New York and you'll have my bag already. okay I go dude I go into this game I guess I remember about that game by the way okay it sure sounds like great sounds like nothing would go wrong I was I was you know especially when I was younger
Starting point is 00:22:28 I was like especially at the point I was playing basketball a lot so I'd get frustrated because I was like I could play all right and I'm being cut to the side because like Jay Moore's there and Matt Frost was on the team and something like that and then also any black comic that showed up you know it was Rudy Rush Mike Yard Mike Britt
Starting point is 00:22:45 talent these guys Rudy Rush was good Mike Brits really good wasn't it they were all they were all good yeah
Starting point is 00:22:51 I was just like there was other people playing a lot that were like I am better than yeah like you know I mean so it was a little
Starting point is 00:22:58 frustrating but it was like just it was a popularity who cares anyway at the end of the day it was like you still you
Starting point is 00:23:04 yes definitely still you I never let it go but um no but I'm just saying like it was more like the camaraderie was the idea of it
Starting point is 00:23:10 yeah yeah but I was definitely love like I want to play you know I was like I want to do And I remember, like, one of the finds, that night, I remember the ball got stolen from, so I don't know why I just remember this stands out so much because it's the moment is how much they didn't value me. I ran the guy down from behind and blocked his shot.
Starting point is 00:23:27 And it's like, you know, it's closed gyms. And when I hit it, like hit a wall. You know what I mean? It was like, the block was like a showy block because he didn't see it coming. So I sent it. And then remember the bench goes nuts. And they go, yeah, it goes, Jay. Come out.
Starting point is 00:23:41 And they put me out. I'm like, I just did the thing. Like, come on. you're like, give him one chance to shine. Yeah, he goes, all, he did a thing. And you're like, he has to contributing to a win. Like, we don't really care. They didn't care.
Starting point is 00:23:51 We're all drinking after this. Take me out. So, and then I left. I left kind of, go, hey, remember with that? What time you got a block? So, good, everyone's having fun. Couldn't tell you if we won or lost. It didn't matter.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Everyone was having a great time except me. I walk out. I go outside, and my fucking trunk has popped. Oh. My fucking Saturn. And my suitcase gone. Oh. They just took the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Now, 21. two, 22? Fuck. 21 maybe. And I'm like, uh, 22, I guess. And I'm like, fucking pretty rattled by that. I'm like, that's everything I own. I'm broke.
Starting point is 00:24:26 I have no money. So I go home that night. Next day, it's a nighttime flight we're taking, flying overnight. The next morning I wake up, my grandmother, rest her soul, think, she was like, I mean, I had to buy, I packed for like weeks and, you know, we weren't rich. I didn't grow up with like a bunch of clothes. It was all my clothes. I packed, basically.
Starting point is 00:24:45 And she was like, I said to go by like another wardrobe, basically, like that morning, a big and tall and a suitcase. And my grandmother helped me with all that. And then I pack and I go up there. And now I got to travel with it. And the thing, you know, I go and I go to the airport. We go to the trip. So now we're in. Sorry, now we're back to, that's important.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Okay. All that because it starts off with such a fucking bummer of a situation. Yeah. Losing all my clothes. I'm down already. Whatever I'm making on this trip, by the way, which wasn't going to be a lot. it's like I'm losing it all but it probably seemed like a lot to me
Starting point is 00:25:18 I was probably gonna come up with like three grand or something and it meant the world to me so like so we land or walk around this carnival and I remember like it feels like they sort of know us like from like I guess they get like comic view
Starting point is 00:25:33 like tapes out there or something or DVDs were big out there so they were really excited about the other comics particularly and like some people knew who I was which was neat I was so young in comedy but I'd already done this comic view oh wow at this point maybe twice
Starting point is 00:25:44 It was the first step for an open micer. Huge step for an open micrer. When people were coming back from Philly and they were like just from comic view, I was like, it doesn't matter. You just said TV. He's back from TV. I was like, TV's not a real thing. A legitimateizer, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:58 From TV. Imagine saying that out. That's my next time I'd bring you up. I'm like, from TV. From TV. Big J. O'Kerson. So we're walking around and then I go to Dominique. You know, I want to ride the rides.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Mm-hmm. And the other guys are like, man, I don't care about the rides. And I'm like, so I go, let's go. There's like a tiltoral kind of thing. So, you know, it's baskets. You know, you're sitting two people in a basket. It spins. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:29 The thing itself spins. And then the thing, the platform itself drops down. No, no, no, no. These are a cart. You're sitting in a cart. There's a bunch of them. There's individual carts. You can sit like probably two to four people in a cart.
Starting point is 00:26:41 The cart spins and the whole floor is spinning. It's just like one of these guys. Okay, okay. What's the one where it spins you against the wall? Gravitron or the roundup. And then the floor drops out. That's Gravitron. That's the indoor one.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Roundup is the outside one where it goes like that. That's an exciting one. I love it. You can't control yourself. We have a roundup at Skank Fest, buddy. No way? Yeah. I don't know if I trust that.
Starting point is 00:27:00 I did it last year. You're a trusting guy. Very fun. We had a Ferris wheel on a roundup. That's... Let's see. That's the tilt to whirl. That's the tilt to world.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Okay. Yeah. So you get even a video of it moving because it's interesting how it goes. You can see the platform. Yeah, this is a great, great example of it. Can you, worry on the side, can you look, tilt a world deaths? None. I couldn't assume there's any ever.
Starting point is 00:27:29 But, all right, see what's happening? Yeah, you're going around, head up and down. So. Getting nauseous, by the way. This thing, for some reason, isn't the line to get onto the rides. the rides. It's ride ends. Get right back on?
Starting point is 00:27:43 No, it's like stand around it and like be the first people to get to a cart. Oh, okay. Which is strange. Yeah. Strange way to handle it. Fatalities caused wrecked by a tiltoral are exceedingly rare. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I think 44 when a 41-year-old man stood up while the ride was in motion in Livingston, New Jersey, Irvington, and was subsequently struck by a following car. Eish. Well. So there's no video of that. No. No, no video in the 40s. That's the biggest problem with the 40s.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Wizard of Oz was just coming in. So I tell Dominique, Dominique's bigger girl. Yeah. I'm fat is all hell, but I'm like, I'm going all by age. I'm just like, I'm 23. I know I'm young at this point. I'm like, if you go on with me, I'll get us the cart. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:32 She's like, okay, okay. So stand. This is already in Frankfurt. Yeah, yeah. Okay. We're standing on this I'm staying Me and Herbo
Starting point is 00:28:42 stand on the outside of it Yeah And I'm noticing When I was watching it before It makes a noise It goes It goes eh You know it makes a noise
Starting point is 00:28:50 It makes a 22 or 23 But it makes it a good It makes it a buzzer noise And that means that the ride's coming to an end Coming to an end So I No I go My mind I'm like
Starting point is 00:29:02 I'm like so I know I'm fat and slow also But I made her I've told her that I'm going to be the one that gets us this card and I want to come through. So I wait for that noise. I'm like, that noise is going to say, but when that noise hits, I treat it, something in my mind, just like, I panic and I want to get it. So I'm like, now you go.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Even though that just means it's stopping. It's going to start slowing down. So I hear that buzz, and I mean like seconds later, wait a few, two seconds later. I go out and I put my foot on the platform. My other foot never makes it. I go up. I go up, ass everything,
Starting point is 00:29:39 and hit, and it's like, it's like wrestling stairs metal. Do you know what you got? Grated metal? Grated metal. So it's like, it's,
Starting point is 00:29:48 it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, like, gha, gack, you know, like rattles the whole fucking thing. You know,
Starting point is 00:29:56 it's thin metal-ish, kind of, but like, it just, it rattles. And yeah, I'm, yeah, I go,
Starting point is 00:30:01 something up, and then I get up, and I think just because people feel bad that I've made such a, scene like they let me get in the cart that I was right next to. Like no one, people could just went in it.
Starting point is 00:30:11 If that was New York, people would be like, oh man, that sucks. As they walked right into the one. 100%. Yeah. So they didn't do that, thankfully. Shout out Germany. So we go in. We get in the cart.
Starting point is 00:30:25 I think you get fit like three or four people in these carts. Me and are both big. So we sit in it, two of us. And the thing clicks down. And it's got to come over here. And it's essentially a mechanism. It's a hole and, you know, the lock goes like that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:39 So it locks in like this in the hole. Nice. Guys going closer with that. Yeah. So it goes like that. Now what's happening is I'm trying like, you know, it's a weird. Everything, I'm already embarrassed so much. Me and her probably both a little like, look at us squeezing in this fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:30:56 And the guy's coming over to like push the thing down to get it locked in on us. And when he does it, I just, I didn't notice it, you know, I'm so across this thing. it catches my shirt. So it's a layer of my shirt between this like bolt and the thing. So it's not really clicked on there very well. And when the ride starts going like cooking, it comes out. Hi guys, this is the paid advertisement for Rumble Wallet. They're sponsoring this portion of the show.
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Starting point is 00:34:07 partners, visit cache.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. So now she's freaking out. I'm holding on to the bar acting like it's not a big deal when I'm like, I don't know if this is a big deal. When this thing hits its peak speed, like does this thing fly us fling us out?
Starting point is 00:34:22 No idea. We just lucked out. And I guess our gravity, our gravitational pull held us in. And we got away from that. And then we went to a... I know that feeling of fear. We're like, I don't...
Starting point is 00:34:37 If you've never really seen one, you're like, I don't think that's right. Yeah. Well, my other one I had was here to a great adventure, man, when they did the Superman ride, and everybody was clicked in, like, sounds like a ratchet, like, crack, cack, cack, cack, cack. And the whole team got together and got one click on me. And then you are just suspended by the harness. Everyone else goes, cackackackack, cac. And with a guy literally holding the track and pushing with his feet on my stomach on the harness,
Starting point is 00:35:04 it made one click. Dude, I was on a plane with Rogan. I was on an edible. And I got, because I got low blood pressure, so if I stand up too quick sometimes, I'll, like, ooh, I'll get lightheaded.
Starting point is 00:35:14 I passed out before a couple of times. And I got in my head that, like, well, if we take off, we're going up, I'm going to get low blood pressure to pass out, but then we're just going to keep going up. So I'll never recover. Yeah, yeah. And it's like a pretty solid chance
Starting point is 00:35:27 I'll just suffocate and die. And I was like, and we were all, we had pulled out of the gate on the plane, but not moved from there. And I got that in my head, and I was like, well, I got her off this fucking plane.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Oh, yeah. And I was like so close to be like, hey, get me off the plane. You don't know what's going on. You don't know what's going on right now. Get me off the plane. If not for picturing Rogan mocking me. Yeah, I've accepted before. I've had, uh, because of pressure stuff.
Starting point is 00:35:51 I have pressure issues, like ears and stuff. I've had stuff like, I've had pains like here in the corner of my eyes so bad on a plane where I was like, I'm not going to say anything, but like I think my brain's bleeding. I'm like, there's nothing going to do anything. You're pretty sure, but you're like, well, I was like, I'm not going to, but I think it's like, I think, though, if I go to sleep right now, I guess I'm not probably waking up. This is something terrible happening.
Starting point is 00:36:12 What is this pain came out of nowhere? That's what the one click is. We're like, oh, I'm fucked. Who are these guys? I remember going up on that? Because you're next to somebody. I was next to a guy named Greg who was a bartender with the comic strip.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Okay. The reason we got to go on the ride so much is it was another girl who worked the comic strip. Isabella's godmother, actually, worked for Pfizer. She's like, you know, like a HR person, whatever. And she was like, but they have Pfizer Day.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Like great interest where it's like it's open to just the employees of Pfizer for like one day because there's thousands of them. And but it was way less lines than any other thing, you know. And it was so we got to go on it. And we were going up the slow ride, the slow ascend. I was looking down. I was like, I don't think this is good. This is bad.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Like it's going to be a real chat. And I go, you know what? Let me look over at Greg because his excitement and happiness and how fun this is is going to get me sinking that out. And he was looking like this. And I guess I went, I went, what he goes? He goes, dude, he goes, if you fall out, there's nothing I can do. What?
Starting point is 00:37:11 And they go, he also saw that it was like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never even checked on his response to that. But he had a face. He was like, I wouldn't have done it. I was so much, I just wanted to be over. I'd rather than getting embarrassing me walking off of it, which is what I should have done. I was like, no, they said I'm in.
Starting point is 00:37:31 I'll just die. Yeah, I'll just die. I think I flung. It won't be because I'm fat. They'll just think it's a flinging. Yeah. They're going to say this thing doesn't work right. Shoddy equipment.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Yep. Okay. I'll take that. They're going to show pictures of me. They're going to go, this guy wasn't too big for a ride. If I get off the ride now, I'm going to die of suicide in about a week for this embarrassment. So I'd rather just take the chance. Well, I did that one time they took me off of a ride in Minneapolis, the Mall of America.
Starting point is 00:37:53 And then Christine got off to, and I started yelling at her for getting off. I'm like, you're drawing more attention to her. She's like, what am I going to ride the teeny to the shredder by myself. Try it. He was lashing at anyone around you. Anyone. I was like, someone's got to get it. I'm big and fat,
Starting point is 00:38:04 and now everyone thinks I ruined your time also because you were fought clearly okay on the ride. Just stay on there. You fucking dickhead? Why am I mad at you? She goes, you want to try the other ride? You're going to do it. I bought the day pass, and I did the,
Starting point is 00:38:16 let's see if we can get her money back. She goes, you don't want to try any of the other ones. I go, no, I can't do the shredders. The brain can't do the other ones. So. Okay, so you're on with Dominique. We get on, we survive the Tilto world. We go inside.
Starting point is 00:38:31 We do the, show that show's good from i remember being a fun show you know nothing like bad like i guess i guess i did okay and then it's exciting then we're walking around and uh we go well now we're you know let's go hit the carnival because now we're like celebrities you know at the carnival they're gonna be like oh you guys and down to anything of just like maybe a girl cares or something you know whatever and we're uh walking around and it was uh some lady she goes oh oh my God, are you and I started doing the already
Starting point is 00:39:06 like the, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's me. And she goes, you know, I knew it. She goes, guys, I told you, this is the guy who fell on the Delta World thing earlier. And then people came over to see me. Like, are you all right, dude, man? That thing was loud. And I was like, all right.
Starting point is 00:39:27 That's so stupid. So stupid. So then we were there for just that one night. Then they send us to the next day our show is going to be. We're driving out to Mannheim, Germany, another military base, where they're going to be doing, we're doing a comedy show that night at a pool party, a huge indoor, like, pool thing. Is this for black people again?
Starting point is 00:39:58 Yeah. Okay. Black people. and we black soldiers all the military guys and girls and they I'm sure there had to be some white people there
Starting point is 00:40:09 I'm sure to some degree but it was a very black it was like promoted black you know it was like a black white people showed up when I was in the black comedy circuit there'd be white people to a lot of the shows
Starting point is 00:40:18 but like it's a black crowd this few white people showed up so that's what this was gonna be it was promoted that way when we get to this pool party place we don't even know where we're performing yet we get there and we walk in and they start telling us,
Starting point is 00:40:31 I start noticing everyone's got laminates on that has, and this is timely, I believe, because it was that album, whatever. It's with DMX, the cover of blood of blood, or flesh of flesh, it's like him covered in blood, like with his arms out like that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:46 DMX, if you could find that Jorge. This was on their laminates. They had, and DMX, they go, is DMX performing tonight? And they go, no, no, no. Yeah, that's the one with everyone. The blood one. That was the lamb at it.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Decent body him, DMX. Yeah, he was ripped. Until the drugs got him. Then what, he got that? Or he died? He just kind of got whatever and then died. I mean, the funniest thing you'll ever watch, and there's no reason to do it now, dude,
Starting point is 00:41:14 is when his son came to him as an adult. And he goes, I want to have a relationship with you, dad. And he's like, I want a relationship with you two. And his son's a really eloquent. He's a really eloquent kid. And he goes, he goes, so I want to have our relationship move forward. And be father and son. He's like, I love that.
Starting point is 00:41:32 He goes, but I need you to do that without drugs. And he goes, well, good seeing you. He's walking like leaves. He's like, ah, I ain't doing that. I barely even know you. He just goes, I was trying about doing drugs. He's all he rules? No.
Starting point is 00:41:46 But we just hang out. He was like, I was going to suggest we do drugs together. Yeah, he goes, but like, never mind, but I thought you were going to be cooler. So they're all wearing this laminate. Yeah. And we asked like, what's, is DMX coming? And then they were kind of like, they started giving us like yeah he's supposed
Starting point is 00:42:01 he's like he's like something's weird with his travel but he is supposed to be coming they're saying it's not like no way and then they tell us kind of last minute they go all right it goes we just say that to get make sure this because it's packed there's like tons of people here it's like over there's too many people
Starting point is 00:42:17 here and I'm like they go no we just say that so we make sure we get everybody out here and then we tell them that there's like travel problems and he couldn't make it and they can't get that mad and then he goes it doesn't matter he goes so then he goes uh but he goes i'm like oh they're going to be in a bad mood he goes now they're going to be in a good mood because we're bringing back they were like last year um
Starting point is 00:42:40 we got in trouble but we kind of got everybody like keep a cool this year they last year we got in trouble because uh we do a a butt naked this is what they're wording butt naked booty dance contest where so i guess last year and they have like women there that are like you know local German black chicks, I guess, and shit. But like, that'll compete in this. But like last year, they said two officers got discharged because they were up there, like, you know, like spreading their pussies and, like,
Starting point is 00:43:07 you got naked nuts at this thing. And they go, but we're doing it again. And so, like, we're doing it again. So they don't give a shit about DMAC. He's like, they'll be stoked about that. And we're like, oh, okay then. And then I go, where are we performing? And I mean, it's all happening very fast
Starting point is 00:43:25 from what I remember. Like, and then we go to like, I mean like a don't cry for me, Argentina balcony. Yeah. In the middle of like a wall. It's like,
Starting point is 00:43:34 it's like a castle wall almost where like we're on a balcony. I mean, what? Wait, what? We're on a balcony is what they want us to perform.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Indoors. It's indoor like balcony off this wall that's over the pool, the indoor pool. But I mean a hundred feet up from it. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:43:55 It's like really hard. And we have a microphone. And the guy comes out there and he goes, what? He goes. All right, y'all, we're about to get the show started right here. He goes, first things first, we got to clear something up, man. We got some bad, bad news today.
Starting point is 00:44:10 DMX got stuck in transit. He ain't going to be able to make it tonight. We're not going to be having, unfortunately, DMX will not be performing tonight. I mean, they go nuts with those. Then he goes, but I got good news for you. He goes, we are bringing back. The butt-naked booty dance kind of, yeah, because you remember two officers got discharged last year?
Starting point is 00:44:30 Because we're bringing it back. And, you know, whatever. Like they're going for it. And the place goes nuts, excited. They did get excited. He goes, but first, we're going to do this comedy show. So we're going to bring up the first guy, Big J. And, I mean, I just ate shit for, you know.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Wow. What a epically terrible introduction. Again, I don't even remember it being, like, that bad of, I mean, in the world of bad shows. It doesn't resonate with how bad the show. because I think I probably just did like fine. You know what I mean? Like I got through it.
Starting point is 00:44:58 I think I had to do like, I think at the end of they were doing like, you do five. She's going to do 10. He'll do 15. I'll do 15. You know, whatever. So it was like we were kind of getting out of there quick. And then. And Drew Poole and a bomb holder's best kept secrets.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, go ahead. Yeah, it was nuts. This place was crazy. So we did that show and we got out of there. And then the next morning, the guy, the promoter who's promoting all this, picks us up. Yeah. And he goes, all right, I'm driving you guys to Amsterdam, which I even know it's possible.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Yeah. I'm driving you to Amsterdam? Yeah. I didn't even know it's possible. I don't know. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. That's what you were saying that about going to, you know, moving to Europe.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Yeah. That you're saying, it's like, what's going to cool, which I've always heard that is true, but it doesn't even make sense to me. It's like, dude, three hours to Paris. Three hours to Germany. Three hours of Germany, couple hours to Amsterdam. couple hours to hear. Yeah. Really?
Starting point is 00:45:56 Like, that seems like if things are all that would be like crazy far away. Bro, you should visit me when I'm in London. Stay with,
Starting point is 00:46:03 well, you got the bonfire. Okay, go ahead. Forget still. Yeah. Don't have serious XM in the UK studios? Yeah, they probably do.
Starting point is 00:46:10 They probably do. You'll probably do both. Stay with me in London. Then you go take your train to Paris, perform there, come back, take your train to Amsterdam, perform there,
Starting point is 00:46:19 come back. Agreed. During the weeks. So, yeah. So this guy, picks us up and he goes we're driving on the auto bond. Hell yes.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Okay. Hell yes. We're in a minivan and we get on it. That was pretty exciting. We've seen how that works. How everybody flies, drives that fast and shit. It's pretty crazy. Was it sick? It's cool. Do you see people whizzing by you? Yeah. What did you think the fast somebody went was? 150 miles an hour maybe? I mean, people were like, it was like they're gone. Daytime, nighttime? Daytime.
Starting point is 00:46:50 They're just there to unload? It's pretty nuts. I mean, we were going like a steady like I kind of I think I got to with the conversion he said it was like a hundred miles per hour which is pretty fucking fast that's pretty fast yeah and a in a minivan let me you feel the things like so at this point now it's just me and the other two guy black dude comics wait was he trying to get to a hundred and just to show you or was it like no there's just how fast I'm going no he's like I'm gonna go 100 because for a while time wise almost like yeah just get there as fast as possible without killing us right damn this message is sponsored by Raycon. Guys, Raycon makes the best earbuds on the planet. They are secure. They are
Starting point is 00:47:29 sleek. The sound is unbeatable. Get yourself some Racon. I've tried. The honest tried. Shaking them out. Good luck with that. It's not going to work. And now I'd like to move on to a talking point that gave me that I need to comment on. It said, with back to school season here, I've been thinking about one thing. Really wish I had had when I was in school. Raycon's everyday earbud classic. Now, in another world or with a younger podcaster, absolutely, sure, that would have been great. Whether you're headed back to school or shopping for a student,
Starting point is 00:48:03 these are such, these are back to school essential. Absolutely. That's not what I'd wished when I was back in school. It's maybe number two. Confidence. Confidence was number one. When I was in school, I wish I'd had confidence. I wish I understood that when girls said, I love your curly hair, you have beautiful eyes,
Starting point is 00:48:26 that they meant they were trying with me. Or that my friends were actually my friends. And they weren't with me just out of pity. If I had known those things and I added Raycon's unbeatable sound quality and earbuds, then yeah, it would have gone a long way. Actually, there was no Bluetooth back then. So they would have kind of been like, what, what, is this and I had been like, these are from the future, that would have, okay, if I had confidence
Starting point is 00:48:57 with women and with men to be able to be sure of who I am, and I brought back some high-quality earbuds that were unusable because of Bluetooth, I think had not been even invented yet, it still would have been cool. I'd be like, one day this will be something and they're like, what is it? And I wouldn't have been scared. I wouldn't have been frightened to tell them what it was. You know, because they're like, oh, what if they don't believe me? I have confidence. Like, my hot girlfriend who likes my curly hair and beautiful skin. We'd be like, just listen to him.
Starting point is 00:49:34 He's never steered us wrong before. But I don't have that. You can't go back, you guys. You can't go back. But you can do the present where Raycon earbuds are the best. The everyday earbuds classic is the perfect back-to-school companion. Go to buy raycon.com slash tripping to get 20% off. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Hey, guys, today's episode of UB Trippin and is brought to you by Superpower. Guys, if you're a regular listener, you probably heard me talking about superpower before. It's a health membership that starts with one simple blood draw, it gives you detailed insights into more than 100 biomacros throughout your body. But it doesn't stop there. The first test establishes like your baseline and the superpower AI builds evidence-backed protocols informed by that blood work. The first step gives you answers. The second test tells you whether the changes you made are actually working. So it's important in order to deal with getting better. That's exactly what
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Starting point is 00:51:10 And he just straight goes, I forget why. He was like, I'm not staying here. The promoter now, our only point of contact goes like, I have to go back to whatever. I'll be back here in a couple days. Okay. Maybe four days or something like that. In the meantime, I got you guys some gigs. out here.
Starting point is 00:51:31 First one was first night, and we go to do it. First of them, they put us in a condo, I guess, technically, above the comedy corner. Where's this one? And I'm saying the word wrong. It sounds like Lights of Placen or something like that. In Amsterdam. In Amsterdam.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Okay. It's like the Lights of Place, and there's a thing called the Comedy Cafe or something, and there's a condo they put you in right about it. They put us in the Comedy Cafe's condo because no one was in there. Sometimes, just so people know, condos go from anywhere from, like,
Starting point is 00:51:57 just an apartment. they rent to like a former abortion clinic and illegal days it just happens to be above you know stair all behind a door this was an apartment
Starting point is 00:52:08 okay it was a fine apartment here's what it didn't have this was crazy again at the time we're talking about the 2000 hot plate two didn't have a fridge had a fridge okay it had a stove it didn't have a television at all
Starting point is 00:52:24 at all and this is before you'd bring your laptop. This is honestly before Wi-Fi, really, I think. So these aren't even things. So you're not getting internet. But at least you're like a DVD player. Yeah. You know, we could go rent something or buy a
Starting point is 00:52:40 DVD and watch a movie or something. It's so funny. You're 22, 23 of this age. Yeah. I mean, for me to even ever turn on a TV if I'm in the Netherlands. Well, keep in mind. Here's what happened. Can I tell you this, though? Not go out. Yeah. We did go out, though, a bunch.
Starting point is 00:52:56 But it was just the idea of that, though, Like the end of the night, it was like, to me, again, it's always, I'm not a person who goes to bed to TV and shit, yeah. So it wasn't even been doing it. We wanted to do stuff. Yeah. And we also, none of us have fucking money. And this guy was like, I'm going to pay you when I come back kind of thing. You're going to get the money when I come back.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Here's what's also going on this whole time. It's looming on this, too. I just started dating Carla, Max's wife. And right before I left for this trip, she told we were dating for a, weeks, maybe a couple months or something. Fucking? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Nice. I think so. Fuck yeah, dude. Pretty sure. But something. We were doing something. You know what I mean? At least where I was like, well, she's kind of, we're dating, you know, we're dating.
Starting point is 00:53:46 But I don't know if we're official, like, boyfriend, girlfriend. And then she told me kind of at the, like, we went to eat after the comic strip one night. And she was like, I should tell you this. Like, I'm actually also, like, semi-seeing this. guy who lives in Boston who like I've gone up there because she was going to she was deciding whether to go to school in Boston or New York for law school. Yeah. At that exact moment.
Starting point is 00:54:08 And she was like, I don't know which one I'm doing yet. And basically it's so funny, it's like she was choosing law school here or there. I basically was choosing like this guy or that guy. Yeah, yeah. And she was like, and so I'm going for my final go through in Boston this weekend while you're gone and have no way to contact me. You know, again, phone card, you know. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Or calling card. no cell phones no nothing so I'm like okay you know he's got to eat that thing so I'm freaking out about that also you know I mean I'm like oh man this chick is just like ah man this is the first girl since my last breakup that was nasty not nasty but just sucked and I was like this is the first girl I've liked actually like ah man and this trip that I got no money I'm not even having fun you know what I mean like yeah I'm the low man on the totem pole this kind of sucks so that's looming okay also on this trip very much. And so I'm getting, uh, what are we doing?
Starting point is 00:55:02 I got high. Keep changing things. Oh, he's not doing it. Yeah, go ahead. So they, uh, wait, where am I at? The thing, we got, we got to. Dude, I got high. Yeah, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:55:16 We went to Amsterdam. We get in. Oh, so the place has no TV, no nothing. And we're like, all right, well, it's like, we're going to have to have. We have, like, I mean, I, I, it's, Cumulatively, under $300. Yeah. Between us.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Okay. You don't have to pay for the place. You need food. We need food. Yeah. And they left us there. And he left us there. And also, when is he coming back?
Starting point is 00:55:41 And when's he coming back? Days. Yeah. Who knows? Supposedly, who knows? And now it's also seems weird. We went into this place and it seemed like everyone seemed confused when we got that. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:55:48 To like, oh, oh, you guys are the one? Okay. Hey, we're on the show tonight at the comedy cafe? Like, oh, oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we go on. And I think they always said one of us could go on. And so they talked me into doing it, like the two other dudes I think talking to this was fun.
Starting point is 00:56:05 And then I went up after a guy like murders in Dutch. And I was just like, they're not going to understand me. They're not going to get it. And I went up there and I did probably talk too fast. And it wasn't going very good. Then I panicked and just did a Kurt Metzger joke. I just stole a joke. I was like, maybe they go, maybe there's like Kurtz jokes better than mine.
Starting point is 00:56:25 Is it in your head while you're performing? Yeah. Oh, no, it wasn't like, oh my God, I ended up doing a Kurt joke. I was like, I want to get out of this situation, so I'm going to do a Kurt joke because I think it'll work. I don't even know if it did or didn't. I just remember going up there and being like, mine aren't. So maybe his will. He was a young comedian. Again, it's a three, four year in a comedy like this.
Starting point is 00:56:45 You know, you're like, yeah, I'll just go fucking tell Kurt's jokes. I mean, I don't think I would do the same thing now, but I would just go, I'm going to tell you some of Kurt Metzger's jokes. Because I don't think you like mine, so maybe you'll like his. And I think I think I'm doing him justice. No, that was a panic and just like a decision made. We do that show and then we leave there. I don't think we get, there's no money for that at all. Really, we left, or I did the show we left.
Starting point is 00:57:11 And then we're like, well, we got to go hit Red Light District. We go check it out. It's my first time ever there. Yeah. We go down there and we see the first thing, live sex show. Come on in. You know, they bark, but it's kind of, come on in, live sex. They see three tours for sure.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Yeah. And we give our, you know, whatever, it's 20 bucks or something to go in. You know, it's like money. And we're all like, yeah, let's do it. But these is where every $20 means something. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right, right, right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Yeah. So we're like, we got to see this, though. We got to do it. We go in. And it's funny. I went back years later to Amsterdam and watched the sex show with Joe the Rosa, Rachel Feinstein, Marina Franklin, a couple other people.
Starting point is 00:58:00 I can't remember exactly. But we went out there and we watched the live sex. And I gotta say, it was one of the most awkward things we've ever seen. The live section was very strange. Both times. Especially for someone who's, well, so the first time, we spent this money and we go in there. And then they have like, you know, a hot chick stripper comes out and gets naked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:16 A novelty fat girl stripper comes out and gets naked. Whatever. Another girl comes out. Just gets naked? Just getting naked. Slowly. Just like a stripping. No, the fat one was like a novelty comedy thing sort of.
Starting point is 00:58:27 know she's can you imagine if we meant this seriously no go on take clothes i'm get out of here so yeah they do that and then uh when the i guess it was beginning of the couple or maybe not maybe it was just his own thing it's it's a show a sex show so there's guy strippers and girl strippers like that didn't blow my mind but they just this guy came out it was like it was like an executioner mask or something like that and like uh you know the straps and leather and spikes big black dude holding a sword number one of the community one of the guys was he goes he goes he goes, man, that better be Zina Warrior Princess. And when she got on stage,
Starting point is 00:59:02 and when he got on stage, it was a guy. And he started taking his clothes off. Those guys were both, I mean, without question, they were just like, yo, we're leaving. We're leaving. And I was like, well, guys, it was like a sex show. Like, it means there's going to be a naked guy in the thing. And they were like, yeah, I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:59:18 I ain't do that shit. And they were like, we're out. And they left, so we all threw away that money. That was, we didn't even see the show, really. A little bit of it. And then we're like, do we, we? do we do the prostitutes you know i mean do we go i mean we're here in the red light do we go in i don't really whatever they did yeah they just kind of operated like together i
Starting point is 00:59:39 don't know if they went in the same room or what quite honestly i said i'm not trying to protect anybody because i really what i know is myself i was at this point particularly i had just started coming to new york and feeling a little bit comfortable up in new york i was a person who didn't travel much as a kid i didn't do a lot of stuff like all my own like i'm jumping on the bus and a train and going and visit somebody or hopping on a plane. So being somewhere else and not knowing where I'm at was scary as fuck to me. This isn't cell phones. This isn't laptop, internet.
Starting point is 01:00:08 Right, right. Nothing. You're on your own. I was just scared. Yeah, you're gone. And so when every time, when these guys were like, we're leaving the sex show in my mind, I was like, look, today I just go, all, I'll see you guys back at the place or whatever. Like, I paid the thing.
Starting point is 01:00:20 I'm going to watch it. Yeah. Or you maybe go, or whatever, I'm leaving. But like, I wouldn't have left then only because I was like, well, we paid for it. We already gave the money. That's the poor thing we're talking about. Right. You can't leave.
Starting point is 01:00:29 I'm not going to leave. They're not going to give us our money back because a guy is getting naked at a sex show. That's the point. That's another one of those things where you're like, maybe through a movie, like, hey, this kind of sucks. I want to get out of here. So what happened, wherever they, they just kind of like, where they were walking, like, ahead of me a little bit and, like, just kind of in their own kind of thing. And they went off at one point. And I was basically had a decision where I was like, if I'm going to go, I don't know if they went in to a thing.
Starting point is 01:00:52 I go, but I go, if I'm going to go, I got to go right now. Yeah, or stay. Do the right thing. No, no, I'm gonna go in with a prostitute, I'm saying. Oh. I got to do it right now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, right, wait. Now we're walking around the red light district.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Hold on, hold on, okay. So you left with them? I left with them, yeah. Okay. Because I didn't want to be by my, I was worried about being by myself. Yeah. So now we're out in the streets walking through the red light districts. They go into a brothel.
Starting point is 01:01:13 They go into a place. But I don't know if they, I think they went into a place that was going to be a bunch, like a, a brothel, an actual brothel with like a lady and like you picked the girls or something like. So I don't know what, but they went into there. Okay. And I didn't know... Like a storefront with a plate with stuff in there? Yes, but it was like... It wasn't just like a girl on a window.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Okay. It was like a broth. It was like a place that you can go into. And they went into that. And I... You know, two girls were chatting them up or whatever. And I was like, when they just got away from me enough, I was like, shit, I got to go now because I don't want to come out after them because I don't think they're waiting for me. I think they're going to keep just doing their own thing.
Starting point is 01:01:52 So you're going to get in there out? I want to get in and out. Quick fucker, quick fuck of black dude and then get back out. Black chick, hopefully. No, I'm saying you've got to out quicken your fuck. Oh, I got to fuck. They've already started. You've got to start and stop before they're done.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Yes. Yes. I want to be outside when they're done, but I'm here and I, and you know, I'm a fucking horny 20-something year old. I want to go in. I want to get one. So I'm going to try. So I go in to the first door front I see. Okay. And it's a very unattractive black lady with a not good.
Starting point is 01:02:24 budge. Wait, wait, you went to a storefront? Yeah. Okay. You know, the lights were all going. What do you do? Knock on the window? No, she just kind of calls you over and I just went in. I was just like, I was a complete sucker for whatever. I was like, you called me in here I am. First one, I could see, because I just want to get over. But I go in there and it's a black woman just not attracted to. Very little deal with her being black other than it was like, she just had like fucking Leslie Jones hair and she was kind of chubby and just kind of like her outfit.
Starting point is 01:02:50 It wasn't my thing. Whatever it wasn't. So I was like, oh, yeah. And when I went in my pockets, like all the fucking change fell out. And I started picking it up. And she goes, I'll help you pick that up. And I was like, yeah, I was like, I think I'm going to go, actually. And then she goes, can I keep this? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The change.
Starting point is 01:03:12 I was like, yeah. And then you find out it's like, I probably gave $20 in change. Yeah. Because the money that's been broken down, they're changed. They have like, you know, $5 coins and shit. Yeah, right. So I think it's like, that's like a dollar. I thought I gave away a couple bucks.
Starting point is 01:03:24 I was like, oh, I gave away. gave her 10, if she's let me out of here for 10 bucks, I'm probably making a killing. I'd probably got like 40 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. Each one of their coins is a fucking full dollar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just like, everything could find out of my pockets?
Starting point is 01:03:34 I was like, ah, shit. So. Can I keep this? Yeah. It was so grubby, but I was like, yeah. And so I left, and then those guys came out, like, minutes after me, and then we found our way back to the fucking place, and then realized, by the next morning, I mean, we just don't have food or nothing, whatever. So now's where we start making, where it gets it kind of fun.
Starting point is 01:03:54 weirdly enough. I'm still going through it, worrying about my ex, you know, about this other guy, can't get a hold of her at all. But like in the downtime of that, a couple things about one,
Starting point is 01:04:05 one of the comedians smokes weed, so he was like, let's smoke weed. So it's probably the second time I ever smoke weed. No, really? In Amsterdam? And I started smoking wheat
Starting point is 01:04:13 and I got like, I was enjoying, I mean, I was almost throwing up every time we smoked just with the coughing. But like, I was really having a good time
Starting point is 01:04:24 like I felt it like you know for a little bit and I was like it was fun and then when we started doing what we did have was a camcorder first weeds yeah we had a cam quarter
Starting point is 01:04:33 so then we were doing for the days oh because you're with black people that weren't film crimes probably yeah yeah we were knocking off mailboxes no then we started getting creative and just like I'm lucky
Starting point is 01:04:44 the two guys I was with knocking on mailbox while like you know black black dudes yeah silly guys and because of that what we did we just made movies during the day with the camera,
Starting point is 01:04:56 with editing and stuff, like, you know, like, but retard, like ridiculous horror movies. We would make, like, silly things. We would use the city in its own way. We'd go out and have to wait for a bus to come twice because you want something to appear behind it the second. You know what I mean? But no editing, so you have to, like, film it all, like, in exact time.
Starting point is 01:05:13 And it was the dumbest shit, dude. And we laughed about it, and we would watch that night, smoke weed and watch that night and go to Burger King every day. That's where I found out they put mayonnaise. That's where I realized they put mayonnaise on their fries. Paul fixed the thing. Yeah, well, on the fries was what I thought was weird. They give you, like, you know, when you get a side of ketchup or it's like, they give
Starting point is 01:05:29 like a little, like a hot mustard. It's a thing of mayo to dip your fries in, which is interesting. It wasn't bad either. But we would get dollar menu every day we were there. That's what we ate 100% of the time. We didn't get to try any other foods. And then, uh, we'd watch our videos a night. And one of the, one of the last days we were there, um, we were walking around a bar,
Starting point is 01:05:50 and we went to a bar. And we saw George Clinton. just sitting in the bar. Parliament, Funkadelic. All the blue and, you know, the red braids and the whole fucking crazy hair. You don't know what that is? I do know who it is.
Starting point is 01:06:03 We saw him. What do you mean? Just there in Amsterdam? Yeah, and those two guys start kind of like talking to him, like, friendly enough. He was very friendly. Yeah. We talked to him for like two minutes.
Starting point is 01:06:12 What are you in town for? What? You just went up to him? I didn't. I mean. Those guys. Yeah. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:06:17 We're playing at the whatever theater right across this brick road or whatever they were on. I wish I remember the name of the theater, but I was like, we're like, oh, okay, you know, whatever. And we left and we went the next night we were walking around and we walked by that theater just happened to be walking by that theater.
Starting point is 01:06:32 He goes, oh, that's the George Clinton thing. And these guys just walk up with their American accents. And I remember the comic. So funny. He goes up to, one of the comments goes up to the guy for security at the front door. Like beside the line. We didn't even, we're not even in the line.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Beside the line. He goes, hey, we were George? And they just opened a fucking, they opened a fucking velvet. Velvet wrote for us and we walked in and we watched the last four songs of Parliament and Funkadelic in Amsterdam. So cool. So now, but also what's happening over these days is our money is going to be dwindling down
Starting point is 01:07:08 anyway because we're spending money, this guy's giving us money, and our shows are being canceled. The shows we were supposed to be doing out there are being canceled in Amsterdam. Why? I don't know. What do you mean? Why? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:07:19 They were just telling us that day. He's like, ah, that show's actually not happening now. And you haven't seen the guy who's supposed to pay you? So he's supposed to come back. So now, but now it's also happening. Bro. I think I, now also I got my own thing with Carla going on where I'm like, I got to get fuck back.
Starting point is 01:07:33 Because now it's like, I don't know, like I got a hold of her or something. And she was kind of like, you know, I don't even remember what it was. But in my mind, in hindsight, it's like some version of like, you know, a giggling, like, I can't really talk right now. You know, like this. And I was like, I got to get the fuck out of here. Like, I got to go home. He show, it's all.
Starting point is 01:07:49 The trip is fun, but it's falling apart. Now I'm not making as much money as I thought. You know what I mean? There's so much going on. Oh, they're canceling shows. They're not going to, they're not going to pay you for those shows. No way. Oh.
Starting point is 01:08:01 So it's like I don't, I'm not the guy getting deposits. Maybe those guys did, but I'm not. So it's like, no, I'm eating shit on this, the ones. So I go, I make up a lie. And I go, I want to get out of here. I don't want to do this last week. The last thing we were going to do was go up to. Rotterdam?
Starting point is 01:08:17 Nope. Where's fucking, uh, cities around Amsterdam? What do you look? for. Be such a B? Basilica? No, no, no. It's not that.
Starting point is 01:08:26 It's much easier. Belgium? Belgium. Brussels is in Belgium. It might be both. Belgium. I think the last thing was going to be in Belgium. And I was like, I'm bailing.
Starting point is 01:08:38 I'm like, this is all falling apart one. While it's falling apart. What are you going to go? You're going to get a flight? You're going to buy a flight? Switch to flight home. I got to go home early. The guy goes, all right, so the day he was coming up, the day before he was going to come
Starting point is 01:08:50 before he took us to Belgium. him. And I was like, yeah, I change him if I got to go. He goes, all right, man. All right. No big thing. He's probably happy to not pay me for the rest of the stuff anyway. I'm not setting the world on fire on these shows.
Starting point is 01:09:05 I'm available. You know what I mean? I'm getting along great with the other comics. It's just that I also like, they're not my. You know, they're definitely like closer than I'm with them as the third. Yeah. Like I'm almost in the way. They could just be having a blast together and I'm also like in there, you know?
Starting point is 01:09:21 Yeah. Three hour drive. Okay. Yeah. So I'm fucking, I make these plans. And the guy goes, all right, man, I'll come and I'll take you to the airport that day.
Starting point is 01:09:32 Okay, what time are you going to pick me up? Because, you know, it's international. I got to check my bag. And I got you. He goes, I'm going to be. He goes, I'm going to get you there about an hour before the flight. I go, dude, it's international. My bag's big.
Starting point is 01:09:45 I really got to make sure. I promised you we're going to get you, man. I got you. He shows up even late for what he said he was going to show up for. and I get there with like a half hour before boarding international flight. I get to the front of the line. The guy comes in with me. And I go, man, I go, you know, I'm going to check my phone.
Starting point is 01:10:03 And the guy goes, like, not even, he's like, no, you're so past the time. And we could take this bag at all. And I was like, what the hell am I going to do? And then the guy goes, Ben, I remember his first name only. He goes, he goes, you know, I got you man. He goes, I'll take it back with me. And then, you know, I'll just, he goes, I'm going to have. I'll send it home with the guys.
Starting point is 01:10:25 Not even overthinking that you're really putting a lot. This bag is huge. You know, it's all my stuff. You know what I mean? I don't know if we were doing laundry or anything while we're out there. It's three weeks of clothes. Yeah. And he's like, I'll send it home with you.
Starting point is 01:10:37 And then one of the other comics, say he was going to bring it home. And then when he said he brought it home the next day, I was like, how I'll come to you and I'll come grab it. He goes, oh, man, it got stolen from my apartment right outside of my apartment. man bag got stolen now what happened was he never what happened was he never brought what happened was he never brought it home because I don't I would have tried to get out of bringing it home too it was insane to ask somebody else to do that they're like what
Starting point is 01:11:04 who the guy that was here like a with the left like a week ago yeah yeah yeah yeah dude I mean it's like it's like it was like a fucking or deal like bringing us down with the strip club yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what other white dude who he was fucking doing yeah you're gonna bring this heavy bag like oh no man no you said send it. Fuck that. And that's what happened. And it never came back.
Starting point is 01:11:25 So that trip, I couldn't tell you if I made a couple hundred dollars or what. You lost your bags twice. Full wardrobe, all my clothing, two times to bookend that trip. But Carla decided to go to Cardoza University. I put a baby in her. Jewish. And now I got a 23-year-old daughter. Because of that.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Well, not because of the trip at all, but. Maybe because you weren't so needy. If you had been there, you would have been dumb, fucking. needy 23 year old. She was actually, eh, let me go to Boston. The fact that she was like,
Starting point is 01:11:56 I'm going to go see this guy and I was still like, well, I got to go to. I'm on an international tour. I'm doing big things. I'm doing a three, turned to be two country tour of Europe.
Starting point is 01:12:07 So three, sure. Call it two. Call it two and call it even. Trip to Europe. So good luck with your guy in Boston. Was he a law school? Dude,
Starting point is 01:12:16 that didn't even sound like he's a lawyer yet. That's why I'm so happy I remember to go back for that preface because that's such a big thing of it. It's like, I lost all. all my clothes the day before I left, and then all my clothes got left in Germany after that.
Starting point is 01:12:27 So I, my poor grandmother, because I had to come up and be like, I think I made like $500. Did you get paid? Who knows? But however it was, dude, I wasn't all of it, and it was like a thing where I just had that.
Starting point is 01:12:41 But, you know, in my mind also, I had to eat crow a little bit because I was like, I was also bailing early on a lie. But, like, also, the shows were being cancer. It was going like, hey, why? Yeah, what the fuck? bro you got I know both those comics
Starting point is 01:12:53 still and both of them do say it goes after I left they had a fucking blast the rest of the way also yeah they just kept having fun they were having fun
Starting point is 01:13:00 they were there I wasn't not having fun with George you would never have thought of doing that I think okay I'm like if there wasn't anything going on with Carla
Starting point is 01:13:06 yeah if I wasn't worried about that like if I'm not there she's gonna move to Boston and uh you still wouldn't have fun no no I think
Starting point is 01:13:13 no the money I would have had the same fun no I would have had that same fun but I also wouldn't have gone home I would have just like emerge I just would have been like
Starting point is 01:13:21 well, now I'm doing this third place. I hope this doesn't fucking, I hope we have a couple dollars to be Burger King every day. I will tell you to relieve your attention. Every time I go to Europe, everybody tells me, like, so what I do is I go
Starting point is 01:13:32 three or four days on and then the rest off to, like, have fun. If I'll stay in the last city or go early to the next city. And then there's a one or two cities are a sandwich. You're like, you get in that day, you leave the next morning.
Starting point is 01:13:45 And they go always do that with Brussels. It sucks. Yeah. They're like, there's nothing to do. Good. I did it. I did it. really lose anything.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Jay. Best decision to leave trip. Oh, Trivia Award? Yeah, best decision to leave. Hey, so this is what we do at the end of the episode. That's the trips.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Then you went home? No, I went home. And I had to go... Daughter out of it. And then I had to go buy pants and shirts like it. By the way, big and tall clothes aren't cheap.
Starting point is 01:14:11 Because they charge you more because they're fucking bigger size. The same fucking rock-aware jeans that you were buying Ari when you were a young wigger? Yeah. Same rock-of-wear jeans? 100 bucks more. That big and tall.
Starting point is 01:14:23 Yeah, that sucks. It sucked. It's like getting banning on a pet. Or you had to dress like your fucking neighbor's dad. You had to dress like in fucking the store brand, big and tall clothes. Or you could pay the Harbor Bay is one of them. Big dog athletics. This is what you said in the story-telling show story.
Starting point is 01:14:44 You have two ways to go. Oh, yeah. It was bigger or the dad. Yeah, that was it. There was two choices. Now, I just had to lose weight because I don't want to dress like a dad but I also can't dress
Starting point is 01:14:55 whatever they think their young thing is now. Yeah, I got this for you. Oh. It's the ticket. It's on our seat. Me and Lewis's seat. He was three or four, whatever. Hell yeah. But if you ever do it like a poster, you know,
Starting point is 01:15:06 like this would go like where the border goes. Fuck yeah. I don't know. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you. That way, that way. What a fun night. God, a fun night.
Starting point is 01:15:14 You're so killed. What a fun night. I'm just glad after it was over. Something that's crazy. I'm just glad afterwards everyone stayed good friends. I'm glad there was no dissension in the ranks of the actual dais itself. I think it might have been actually the first after-party where my two friends most likely to just skip an after party, both came.
Starting point is 01:15:37 Oh, yeah? You and Adrian. You're both like, it's not going to be my scene. I'll meet you there. I don't know. Something came up. Did you hear someone say Kevin Hart owned that club? Makes sense.
Starting point is 01:15:47 It does make sense. He got his fucking talons. in everything. They couldn't get a fucking whiskey at the before. Me and DeRosa went to get a drink
Starting point is 01:15:55 and they're like no whiskey. Only, only tequila, only this guy's tequila. And you're like, yeah. Did you watch me go behind the red carpet
Starting point is 01:16:05 at the, his private area for a second? No. What'd you do? You would have. I went over, I said hi to Keith.
Starting point is 01:16:11 Yeah. He was very loud. Yeah. Or it was very loud. No, no. I couldn't hear him. We couldn't hear each other, but it was like a nice
Starting point is 01:16:19 guy was like, hey Keith. But, you know, it's loud and he's surrounded by people. Not talking to him, just people. Yeah. And then I stood there and I just, remember I was just standing there. I didn't know if it was like in my mind. I'm like, am I standing here to like wait to gain audience with Kevin or whatever?
Starting point is 01:16:34 And then I just looked over to my left and I was like, and then I just looked to my left and I was like, is that meek Mill? And then I just went, I'm going to go back. I thought the gem popped out. I go, this isn't like my thing. And then I, and then I wait. And if it was Shane or Tony or certain people or Josh Adam Myers, they'd be like, oh, Oh, sick. I'm staying here.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Yeah. I am staying here. I went outside, smoked cigarette. Yeah. Came back in. When I came back in, the first person I saw, Seth Green,
Starting point is 01:16:58 and I got to tell him what I've always, when I said this, I go, dude, I've been hoping in entertainment for 28 years I've been now, at least, I was like, I've been hoping this tell you that we, which I, by the way,
Starting point is 01:17:09 I have told this before a million years ago to JFL, but I know he doesn't remember. That interaction, it was an airport interaction. So seeing him this, he just watched me on the roast. I go,
Starting point is 01:17:18 I've been waiting to say this for a long time, dude, we went to the same fucking school growing up. In West Philadelphia, Lambertin, a school, no one would, that's not like a, you know, it's not one of the main schools out in Philly. It's just this weird place. It's kindergarten through 12th grade. You went before you?
Starting point is 01:17:32 You were the, he's a little older to me, yeah. Yeah. But it doesn't matter. It's kindergarten through 12th grade. Yeah. So when the kid didn't matter, so when we were in second grade and he was in, uh, what did he's figure, maybe like, fifth grade? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:45 Yeah. He didn't really, no, no, it's not knowing each other were. he didn't know who I was. He knew he was because it was like, hey everyone, Seth has a commercial, a Fruit Loops commercial, Seth's in radio days, Seths in Can't Buy Me Love,
Starting point is 01:18:00 Seth's and it, and it was like, there would be things that would be cool, things like, we all liked them because they did a smart move of the school. It would be like, tonight's homework, make sure you go home and watch It, the mini series with Seth, and the thing would be like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:18:12 like, yes, Seth. And then he got like, I was so fast, I got to tell him that, and I got to say, just like when I told the Slip Knock guy that I saw when he was, as a kid. Their reactions are never like,
Starting point is 01:18:21 I feel like all these things I would go, yo, get the fuck out of here. That little fucking school was in a prison. That was nuts. Holy shit. And he just started shooting the shit. He goes, remember it was like, all we had was like a fucking,
Starting point is 01:18:32 it was like a school in the middle of the shit. There's things to talk about. It's a weird school. And it was just kind of like, ah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool. I'm like, well. And then I went over and then someone goes,
Starting point is 01:18:46 I think Louis is going to Coke in the middle of the room, which he wasn't. Someone just said that to me. They go, who was some coke in the middle of the room? I go, what? And then he obviously was that when he wasn't doing cooking in the room. But like, I just came in and I saw it. But Lewis was like, you guys were hammered.
Starting point is 01:18:58 And I wasn't hammered at all. I was when I was like, all right, guys. I'm going to go smoke another cigarette. And then I was like, yeah, I was like, I'm proud of you for making it. I'm proud of him for 45 minutes. Adrian was lit and she never gets drunk. And she was having a good time. Really?
Starting point is 01:19:13 She was lit. Just a weird thing. Again, like, Barlene. He really. They were like, she was like, ha. He really does a thing, though. What? Kevin, which is interesting, that like, you know, the branding thing is great for him.
Starting point is 01:19:27 I mean, it's why he's a billionaire, probably. Yeah. But, like, just the idea of it to go to this place. And I was like, I remember going to the bar and I was like, can I get a... Three drinks. Of course. I understand, but it's like, it's tequila exclusively tequila, his tequila. And just the idea of those things where I'd be like, no, man, you got to just have, like, an open bar.
Starting point is 01:19:46 If you want, maybe, maybe, because you're like, there'll be people that are influencing more money. He's got billions. But, like, to go, the only tequila will have is my tequila, but, but, well, obviously, we'll have everything else. Vodka, white claws, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Or go, yeah, we have everything. I think the way we would do is we have everything, but also here on top is my tequila all around the row. So you see it. If it's like a Mark Norman.
Starting point is 01:20:16 It's like you're going to show. He didn't say get bodega, get all the whiskeys out of the bars. No, but all, but you do all specialty. Hey, we're doing specialty things. It's all with his grand corner, you know, whatever. It was so funny, they gave me two bottles in the green room for my trailer that I just gave to a, Justin and Adam. I gave to her. That's cool.
Starting point is 01:20:38 I go, here you guys. I'm not bringing this back to New York. So I'm like that. And then the other day I got home, I got a delivery. And it's like a bottle of, it's like, hey, thanks for. light me up, you know, whatever. It's like, whatever the standard note he wrote to everybody was. It's not personalized. Who? Kevin.
Starting point is 01:20:53 But just goes, you know, it's like, thanks for light me up. And it's like a bottle of grain. I don't want this. Stop. I've already given it away twice. Yeah. I don't drink whiskey. By the way, by the way, it's a nice bottle.
Starting point is 01:21:06 So in my mind, I'm like, oh, no, I will keep this. No, you'll keep it there. It's a really beautiful bottle. You have that Japanese whiskey. It's just a funny thing to keep like, it's like, hey, man, I don't care about booze this much, man. forcing it on me. Stop.
Starting point is 01:21:18 Give me a fucking free Netflix account for a year. I hope that was a good story. I hope that was a good travel story.
Starting point is 01:21:23 That was. The one Kevin Hart story also includes you is you're doing what's your fucking deal at Montreal. I was the audience, Mike,
Starting point is 01:21:32 and Kevin Hart, every seven or eight years he remembers he was friends with you. Yeah. And he'll pop a setup. And you were like trying to like
Starting point is 01:21:39 kind of get people to know about it, the show. And he goes, I'll do one, which was cool. He just popped in. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:46 He was like, like, yeah, I'll be there. If I get done with this, I'll be there where you're like 50, 50 he comes. I don't know. But it was one comic after another. So what's your fucking deal? And there's an audience, Mike, where in case people get, like, everyone's been talking in the front row.
Starting point is 01:21:56 Yeah, a little trapped. You just got somebody in the back. Yeah, I think my moment. Do you ever do it at Gramercy? No. It is some place where I was audience, Mike. Indoor, indoor theater. It might not have been a theater.
Starting point is 01:22:07 It was probably the gantry loft when we did it at the big place when we, or the big room when we did Skank Fest in Brooklyn. That's a big room. Okay. Yes. Did an old black comic do that show Like Tracy Morgan or Yaakov Smyranoff, he's not black, but or Arsenio? No.
Starting point is 01:22:27 No, no, no, no, who's the guy that was on a living color? David Allen-Girrard. Different world, different world. Simbad. Sinbad. Was he on that one? No, that was Simbad did one. That was a JFL Toronto.
Starting point is 01:22:41 It was a JFL. That was DeRosa's audience, Mike, and Simbad wouldn't do crowdwork. he just kept doing material. And then about, but he did 90 minutes. And when DeRosa, about 45 minutes came in the green room, he goes, I don't know what I'm doing
Starting point is 01:22:53 out there with this microphone, dude. He goes, because he would go like this, because he was doing a material and it's a crowd work show. So I remember Joe going like, he's like, man, I've been watching a lot of movies about vampires lately. Like Simbad would say that.
Starting point is 01:23:02 And he goes, hey Simbad. He goes, this guy over here looks like he is a vampire. He goes, uh-huh. Vampires apparently don't like silver and they don't like, he goes right to his show. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:23:12 And then Joe just came in like, you like, The shows like that, Bobby said that happened to them too. There's a couple of those, that's why I don't do the show really anymore, because it's sort of a design flaw in it when people don't do it. And also the idea is like, it's my show. I don't want to be audience, Mike. And I go, I'm actually, though, putting the weight of the show on somebody else, really.
Starting point is 01:23:33 It's like, I do my sets, but really the audience person is the person who's like working on it. And Bobby, one of them Nashville Fest, dude, he just kept throwing people up door. Just kept throwing people up. And Bobby came up and boy, he goes, buddy, I'm standing out there for two and a half hours. I don't want to do it anymore. I go, stop, stop doing it. Because they're not even doing crowdwork anymore anyway. Just get out of there.
Starting point is 01:23:50 I remember once the one where really was this is what the audience makes should be, is some comic made a joke about cheating or something like that off a riff of somebody. And then like 15 rows back on the right side, I was like, as audience might go, hey, I think I might have been to roast on stage. Hey, when you said cheating before, this guy did a quick glance over to his right, to this chick he was with. Yeah. And he goes, oh, really? And then he goes in on him. Like, that's what the audience might should be.
Starting point is 01:24:16 But anyway, he's doing a matchout. I'm audience, like, Kevin Hart's doing this pretty big favor, coming to a show. And then he's up there talking to our audience. And I, like, he told a story. I couldn't believe he was telling. I kept telling me, I go, I go, this is film. We're filming this.
Starting point is 01:24:29 Oh, yeah. He goes, it's fine. I go, all right, and I think at the time, like his new chick was there. Wow. But it was the story. I mean, it was just like a chick story. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't like.
Starting point is 01:24:38 Nothing illegal anything. It was from before. It was just a shitty thing he did. Yeah. And, you know, in a weird way. And it's like, when you tell, I mean, like, I thought it a bunch of such ago. I must say that to summarize it. It was just like, it was a girl I was hooking up with that I thought liked me a lot.
Starting point is 01:24:52 Yeah. And I was just like, you know, in my mind, I was really the thing. And he was like, yeah, dude, I think that chick's kind of like a whore, which she was. But he was like, I think she's kind of, he was, it's one of those friends. It's a bit of a dicky move because, like, the thing is, warn me, you're warning me for what? What do you about tell you? I'm going to marry her or something? I'm like, I'm just having fun.
Starting point is 01:25:09 And I think when I said, I think I got under his skin When I gave him like, I go, I think you're just mad Because she fucking came and like Wong at my direction And that's usually not how it goes Like we do a lot of black shows together So it's like you end up I end up entertaining some like fucking pile of pudding While you fucking fuck a hot chick in the bathroom
Starting point is 01:25:27 So like So I finally got a hot girl She wouldn't eat hot Yeah She was cute Yeah Chubby girl but she was cute And it was like
Starting point is 01:25:34 No but she's just like down And like you know I'm like when I go to New York I'm like hooking up a lot. You know, me and her dipping off to go fucking my car
Starting point is 01:25:42 or whatever. And I'm like, he's like, yeah, she's a whore. And I'm like, you're just mad, whatever. And then we picked her up
Starting point is 01:25:47 on time. And he was just like, he got in the back seat with her while I was driving. He was like, yeah, he's like, Jason, you suck really good dick.
Starting point is 01:25:54 And then she just basically started sucking his dick. Wow. And I was like, he's like, see? And I was like, that's that when he started telling the story,
Starting point is 01:26:01 I was like, you want to tell this man? I go, I go, I'm not embarrassed of it I mean, it's a billion years ago, but it makes you look like you were not a good friend. And I don't think you were a bad friend,
Starting point is 01:26:12 but that's a bad friend move. Every time, though, on that show where, every time I was like, oh, this guy did this, you could just tell he wasn't told what the show was and had obviously no idea who I was. So it was just like, he heard something in a loudspeaker going,
Starting point is 01:26:26 hey, this guy over here has a dumb shirt wherever, and he's like, looks and like, the look at his face is like, who is this and who gave him a microphone? I should work on a Kevin Hart impression because... Yeah, you have a lot of of Kevin our stories.
Starting point is 01:26:38 Yeah, there are, but there are also, like, a thing it's like, I see, like, the, what's imitatable. Yeah. When he went on that,
Starting point is 01:26:45 that breakfast club show defending the Rose thing, but he goes, Tony Hitchcliff's going to make those kind of jokes. You're going to get those jokes. Would I say him? No.
Starting point is 01:26:56 But Tony Hinchcliffe. It's like, I don't know why something about that because, like, he's saying Tony Hinchcliff, and it's like, I don't think, I know he knows the name, but like the familiarity
Starting point is 01:27:03 what he's saying Tony Hinchcliff, they go, You guys aren't friends. Yeah, he's like, you still know each other at all. Hey, tell me his name 20 times in a row so I make sure to say it right. I'm that guy. I have my speech pathologist who comes in and helps me. Now, Tony Hinchcliff is going to say those kind of jokes.
Starting point is 01:27:16 You don't know what kind of jokes Tony Hitchcliffe says. You're such in a bubble. But God bless him, he's still defending it. And really, I'll say to a thousand times of roost up, dude. Cheryl Underwood, man. What a fucking sport. What a ruler. What a dog that has gone out there and fucking fought the good fight.
Starting point is 01:27:30 When the jokes were about her, the jokes are about her, and she has to keep going around being like, everybody, I'm fine. Stop. She, like, glances by it in such a good, like, Miss Patway. When Ms. Pat talks about her, like, molestation. She's like, and then this guy's dick smell like this, but I went over there. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 01:27:44 Sherrillander was like, no, what a great time. She handled the view pretty good, too. Oh, I didn't see her on the view. She did a view. Didn't they hate her because she was on the talk? Yeah. She did the view. No, you know, it's my, I thought she got a little,
Starting point is 01:27:54 I wouldn't put this on the show either. This isn't worth it. But, like, she did say something on that where it's like, she goes, I thought I was the big dog at one point. Because they were, and that's kind of something other people have been saying,
Starting point is 01:28:03 they really seem to go at her. I'm like, they went in everybody. They went to everybody. I don't think it was, like, disproportionately on her. No, that's what happens when, um,
Starting point is 01:28:12 you look at, like. And she kind of graced, she kind of, like, put it out like it was that too. She kind of goes like, yeah, you know, it's a, no, they went to, they weren't at Tony and Shane Moore.
Starting point is 01:28:20 But she gave herself a bit of like the, it did feel like they were, like, it was the roast of me a little bit. And I was like, I was like, Oh, that's weird. But it doesn't matter because two seconds later, she's always kind of like,
Starting point is 01:28:29 they ran it by me. We did the thing. It worked out for me. Things are good. I know Tony. I think it's probably also like, hey, so I don't know her, but like I got to pick on somebody and I can't do it.
Starting point is 01:28:40 Lizzo's going to be tacky. Anytime anybody asked me, dude, I just said the flat-out thing I said, I go, I don't know Cheryl Underwood. I don't know her so well that I wasn't, well, if I didn't get that information, but if they were like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:28:51 so one of the things people were talking about is her husband killed himself. It's not a dig on Tony or, or anybody who made a joke about that, especially if they talked to her, I would just be like, even if I called her and asked her if it was okay, unless I had a joke that was like
Starting point is 01:29:04 such a monster about that, that I'd go, hey, I think this is so funny, like, would I run it by, but besides that, I would just go, I don't know, or so I'm just gonna not be a voice. Because I said, I used to, friends calling me fat. I remember the first time, dude, Eddie F, did I got Eddie F's face
Starting point is 01:29:19 a million years ago now, 20-some years ago now, but it was a, you know, I went on stage, did eight fat jokes about myself and then got off stage. He just goes, hey guys, how about it for that fat fuck, huh? And we came up, I go, hey, man.
Starting point is 01:29:31 No. I go, we're not friends like that. I go, so whatever you're doing right there, I don't like that at all. And that was Bobby Slayton, too. That's funny. Wait, okay, go back to him. Sorry. Thank you for having me.
Starting point is 01:29:44 Dude, that ruled. That was fun. So here's what I ask everybody at the end. Is any place calling you to go? And then if you have any travel tips, I assume, like, don't lose all your luggage before. Yeah, travel tips. Make sure you keep your suitcase handy.
Starting point is 01:30:01 And bring it with you wherever you go. Nobody will bring it home for you. And what was the first thing you said? No, no, for real. A place is calling me. Yeah, some place you want to go in the world. It's not like the number one, but you just feel like, maybe I want to go there one day.
Starting point is 01:30:16 Yeah, like, not. Not spring. I like, I really like green places. Okay. So it's like, I do like that. I think I would really like, like, like, seeing, again, like, when I go to, like, Washington States and stuff, so whatever, like, the foreign equivalent of, like, those rolling hills is beautiful, but the desolation of it
Starting point is 01:30:34 you don't like. I don't like. So it's, like, probably, to me, it's more like when Sal and then was like, we went to Fiji. I was like, that. That sounds like a thing where I'm like, okay. I'm, I'm looking for all-inclusive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to overthink it, but I also want to, like, because I said the thing, if I'm going to
Starting point is 01:30:52 do with things, it's going to be literally, I want to watch movies while I'm in a pool looking at an ocean doing it a thing. Do you know what I mean? I want to do my thing, but I want like, yeah, yeah, swingers. Yeah, you want it taken care of? Yeah, okay. I'd like some fucking salty swingers maybe
Starting point is 01:31:06 to be there. Well, there's places for you. There's putticana and places like that and like, yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. I said those are the place, though. I said aside from like, again, I just also buy all the hype of like, no, but you know, my fucking daughter, like at any given time, I can just go,
Starting point is 01:31:21 hey, I'm going to go to my ex-mother-in-law's place in Santa Marta on the beach of Columbia. And I'm like, yeah, the problem is I'm going to go out there on the beach. I'm not going to understand the television out there. And then the food's going to be weird. And then I'm probably going to get kidnapped and they're going to kill me if my parents don't pay money. Which you're not going to enjoy it. It's not going to happen, but you're not going to enjoy it. Because in my mind, I'm just kind of like, this is so like, oh, my God, is that a loose chicken?
Starting point is 01:31:50 Like, things like that. Yeah. Is that chicken, is that chicken we're spoken for? What's crazy you think to worry about? It's so funny. Is it just a native chicken walking around? Like a pigeon?
Starting point is 01:32:04 That's weird. By the way, so I get the same feeling in fucking Ebor City. Yeah, like, is that loose roosters? All right, so you're going to resort somewhere. Okay, very nice. Jay, everybody, check him out on his alone's podcast every week. week called Legion of Skanks.
Starting point is 01:32:23 I have been the president. I was the one-time most. I was the Conan O'Brien of that show. And now I do it alone. Ever since Lewis quit. Passing of Lewis. Aggressively, a Lewis unfortunately died. In a crazy accident or road rage or heart attack or...
Starting point is 01:32:39 The bets should be on Kashi on Lewis. Type of death. Type of death would be... Yeah, you know what? That might be part of the fucking Argevier last episode. What's Lewis mostly die of? Yeah, it goes, if Lewis dies before... before you come back, what would it be from?
Starting point is 01:32:55 That's a great subject. Yeah, it's not bad. I like that. Thank you, Bubba. Yeah, all those tour dates at bigJocryson.com, comedy? BigJcom. BigJcom. And I'll do the bumper and do over everything.
Starting point is 01:33:04 But dude, I'm going to miss you. You've got to come back. I'm going to miss you too. All right, everybody. That's the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you very much, Big J. O'Cerson for tuning in. Next week, I believe it's Joe DeRosa telling us about either Japan or somewhere else.
Starting point is 01:33:19 I'm not sure. But Big J.O.C. centers right now. What a fucking joy to have. Honestly, always brings it. Subscribe, wherever you're watching and listening and go subscribe to his Instagram right now or his YouTube. Big J. Comedy. Big J. O'Kerson. Just search for it. I don't really know the name. And reach out to him, by the way. Give him a DM and tell him you enjoyed him in this episode and please come back. He's always good. He's always good. He doesn't even travel that much. But when he has, he always brings a great story. He's one of the best stories. It's awesome to have a storyteller that's
Starting point is 01:33:49 amazing and also a crowdwork guy that's amazing. And also his bits are pretty fucking good. How many women cops could you beat up? 99. It's a great bit at the end of dog belly, which I produced. We produced three specials now. Me? Oh, no. Adrian Apollucci, Big J. Oaksson, Salvo Cano. Salvo Cano's got an episode coming soon where he interviews me about my trip to Egypt. Please subscribe so you can get notified when that comes. I think I've done shit enough. You want to subscribe. Before I go, first of all, this Podcasts is produced by your mom's house network, edited by Alan Caffey, helped along by Chris Larson and Niana Palette. But what I wanted to tell you is, it's been one year that I've been growing up my hair.
Starting point is 01:34:36 One year, let me give you a good look at my hair. And I got to decide what to do with it now. It was July 31st, 2025. I shaved it bald. You see it all? You see it all. Still not growing in there. Shaved it all bald in the lounge of Mexico City.
Starting point is 01:34:54 Yeah, I got bumped up to first class on the Mexico to southern Mexico, to a beach where I started my six, seven-month travel across Latin America. Yeah, I'm Ari Guevara. Che Guevari. Damn, Norm would come up with something good. And I shaved a bald and I've grown it since then. It's got me in a little trouble. I remember a few times I was in Colombia.
Starting point is 01:35:17 where they really care about their appearances, the women, the highest level of plastic surgery in the world and the men, I mean, they constantly go in and I go, la barba no is bueno. They all these barbers, like, come on, dude, obviously, come in, come get a fixed up. I'm like, no, I'm not touching it, bro. I'm not touching it. I did shave the neck parts.
Starting point is 01:35:37 That's about it. A year. I don't know what to do now. I might go mullet. I might go shave mullet to honor the memory of Theo Vaughn, rest in peace. You're one of the greats, man, and I'll miss you every day. I remember our talks, Saratiana's parties back in the day. You were awesome.
Starting point is 01:35:55 And I never thought, I never thought a fucking skittles overdose would have taken you down. Yeah, if you don't know, Theo Vaughn was having a good time, a wedding between his cousin and a squirrel, and there was free skittles, and he just couldn't stop eating. He just couldn't stop eating. Eatin, sorry, in honor his memory. And he's gone now. but maybe to honor them, I'll get a mullet. Maybe I'll do the lemmy thing longer.
Starting point is 01:36:20 Maybe I'll just keep it going and shave this. Leave a comment. Tell me what styles I should make. If you can do a gift or a picture in that comment so I can see what you're talking about, even better. And it helps the podcast. Please tell a friend about this show. Why not?
Starting point is 01:36:36 I'll tell you some of my... Because I'm probably not going to do an episode about Amsterdam. I do usually have a rule for this podcast. Well, three rules. No politics. unless it directly involves the trip you were on, not even if they got into something later. Case in point, Myanmar.
Starting point is 01:36:52 Didn't see any of it, had no effect on my, it was in a short window where the army had given up control. Ansanststru Kyi was out of house arrest. And so what am I gonna weigh in on the politics? I can tell you what I heard from people. You know, I talked to someone, I did it at the end of an old skeptic tank, which again, guys, I got one comment,
Starting point is 01:37:14 so I'm not sure I don't do it. Do you guys want me to put the skeptic? skeptic things up on the UB trip and Patreon. I got to put them behind a payroll. But if that's something you want, yeah, but let me know if you want to or not. The only way to reach me really is comments for the first two days of this episode where I weigh in and kind of reply and stuff, make some jokes. And also on Only Trails. I'm the number one comic on Only Trails.
Starting point is 01:37:39 You can see kind of my whole trip through Latin America. If you go to my only trails, Ari Shafir. It's a picture of me, I think, in front of Montrepechevue. What was it going to say? I think I've been not given apartments here in London because of my appearance. It's crazy, but they like look at me and they go, it's actually full, and then I see it still in the market. It's got to be this, but I don't want to play that game, but I do want to get a place. It's been frustrating. It's been very frustrating.
Starting point is 01:38:07 I've not gotten settled at all. I knew it would be difficult, but I didn't know it would be this difficult. Fuck. Shit. Anyway, let me tell you about my Amsterdam because I won't do a trip. So here's my rules. politics, unless it involves that. Like, for instance, if you were in Palestine during the invasion or at the Nova Festival during that invasion, sure, politics plays a role. Or if you're in politics,
Starting point is 01:38:33 you know, if your thing was being an ambassador in a place, or working in an ambassador's house during the invasion in Libya, sure politics is going to play into that. But generally, Nah. And it's been covered, and I don't think, honestly, my rules, I don't think comics should cover it. We don't really know enough, and it's kind of silly. I do see a lot of hypocrisy on both sides, so I can't help as a antagonist to kind of poke at both sides going like, yeah, what about that? It's fun, it's fun. Drum sucks, Biden sucks, Obama sucks, Clinton sucks, Bush sucked. I know what to tell you. None of them did what they promised. I don't even weigh in. I just kind of like tune in once in a while my friends are saying some shit.
Starting point is 01:39:21 I'm like, let me research us. And I go, nah, this is wrong. Anyway, anyway, and I have friends on both sides of almost everything. Almost every Middle East, American politics. And now, finally, in England, I'm left out of it,
Starting point is 01:39:32 because I don't know who your president is right now. Anyway, the rules are, no politics, no resorts. Because really, unless you got really rowdy, unless you were at Hotel Rwanda, I'll do one of those. No resorts. And no answers.
Starting point is 01:39:48 because it just talks about I got so high and I lost my way around. I'm sure I'll do another one if I get pressured of like, hey, I really need it out. I have a special coming out. I'm sure I'll do it. But like, I really, I guide myself not to. And I get drawn into politics, obviously, all the time. It's the antagonist that makes me just poke.
Starting point is 01:40:07 It's like Shane had an interview where he said he was talking about. And they were saying how the women's soccer team was just as good as the men's. And he's with a bunch of women athletes. And his friends, like, don't. Don't say it. Don't say it. Because you want to be like, wow, I mean, come on. They said, you know, George Bush is worse than Hitler. Barack Obama's worse than Hitler.
Starting point is 01:40:26 Trump is worse than Hitler. And you're like, wow, I mean, I don't know about worse. My brother has a story. There was a shooter in a sniper in Washington, D.C. I don't know if you guys remember this, 20-something years ago. First, it was like an MTA worker. And you're like, oh, maybe they're doing government workers. Then it was like someone who used to be a mailman.
Starting point is 01:40:43 I'm like, okay, it could be government workers. Then it was just some random other person. than a woman, then an old man. And then it was like, it's totally, we don't know who this is. The city was on high alert, the suburbs too. Turned out, it was a guy driving his nephew around. His nephew, what a shot, by the way,
Starting point is 01:40:59 through a hole in the trunk, sniping people. I mean, what a shot. Democrats, you got to recruit him. If I had one, anyway, I mean, if you want to take matters in your own hands, I'm not against it. But you've got to do the training first, you know? Luke Skywalker fucking went and trained with Yoda before he went and tried to kill the Death Star.
Starting point is 01:41:20 You can't just go, I'm going to do it. What? You think you're just going to learn how to snipe? You got a trade, bro. Anyway. Got my ear. You got piercing? Great.
Starting point is 01:41:34 Message well put. Dorks. Anyway. God, the other side is calmer because they've got to be better shots from what I understand. Anyway, anyway. What was I saying? What was I saying? What was I saying?
Starting point is 01:41:52 Oh, so the sniper was going around. And then people were calling it fake tips. So my brother was talking to someone at work, and they go, the guy who's calling it fake tips, it's making the police go and investigate that. And he's actually worse than the sniper. My brother goes, well, I mean, it can't be worse than the sniper.
Starting point is 01:42:10 The sniper's worse. And they go, oh, you're on the sniper side? I'm like, no, no, I'm just saying. Somebody distracting the police is not worse and the guy who's actually killing people. And then the lady at work goes, all right, fine, well, just as bad. And he goes, I mean, you're making me take the sniper side here.
Starting point is 01:42:26 No, not just as bad. The sniper is much worse. So anyway, that's my general rule. And if you hear me go, this is something I do in podcasts a lot too. You can always tell. Or if somebody says something, you go, oh, okay. Oh, really? Which means I don't know and I don't really care to talk about it.
Starting point is 01:42:43 So if you seem to know, you seem to know. But I'm not going to sit here and check you on something. I have no idea about. So I go, oh, really? Oh, okay. That's me going, can we move on, please? It's kind of like when you're a party and someone gets a little too racist
Starting point is 01:42:57 and you don't know them at all. And maybe they're joking, benefit of the doubt, but also maybe they're not joking. And you don't want to hear it, but you're also not going to be the guy. Look, none of us are the guy goes, hey, man, that's not cool. I won't stand for this.
Starting point is 01:43:09 That's not the reality. The reality is, I just want this to stop. And I want to move away. And so if I can see a friend go, all right, I'm like, oh, excuse me one second. I'm not going to lay down the law. I'm anti-conflict in person. So I just go,
Starting point is 01:43:23 anybody brings up anything like that, I go, oh, oh, yeah? And then once in a while, I'll say so. But anyway, no Amsterdam, but Jay did a great Amsterdam. But my Amsterdam says I'll never get to it. Obviously the first time I got to. Obviously the first time you might have heard about this
Starting point is 01:43:40 and my special on Netflix double negative where I got the best grilled cheese sandwich of all time right next to the Anne Frank House. Guys, I need to get the word out better because I've only made one or two statements about this. The place is under new ownership. I went back. I got reports that it wasn't good. And I go, you're being a naysayer, you're being negative.
Starting point is 01:44:00 How dare you? It was the best. Multiple different cheeses. I wish I could show you the special on Netflix right now. But they have pretty strong copyright rules and they won't. Let me put it on here. Can't even screen grab a Netflix special. Can't even press screen recorder.
Starting point is 01:44:14 It comes up black. Pretty smart. Netflix, do comments at least. Anyway, it's new ownership. I went back myself to test it, and I'm like, man, this is just a foreman grill, one slice of cheese and a foreman grill. So do not go back to that place. It's not the same.
Starting point is 01:44:30 It is not the same. And in Frank House, still quite the same. Still very much the same. That grilled cheese sandwich is gone. And I walked around and I tried some coffee shops, which is what they're called, where you get high. You know, I was already a pot smoker, so I wasn't, like, I wasn't, like, debilitated from it. You know? Also, from my experience in Europe, Copenhagen, Kirstanya, better.
Starting point is 01:44:55 Haven't been to Spain. I haven't tried the weed in Spain. No, I did try the weed in Spain, but I haven't been to the dispensaries there, so I don't know. I've heard Spain might be better. And then also Eastern Europe is a whole other thing that I won't even count. But from my experience in limited experience, Norway, everywhere I went and got wheat, Copenhagen, Denmark was the best. And not Amsterdam. But the last time I was there You know, I've gotten weed
Starting point is 01:45:22 And I'm sure I stopped in and got some I walked around and I went to some park And I can't even tell you what it was But I saw a video piece I went to see her Yayoakasama You know, she's like great Anytime she's had any exhibit anywhere go It's in Finley rooms
Starting point is 01:45:39 They're so fucking cool I kind of want to copy it making myself Which I probably could If I found an apartment Big enough with spare room That I can make an experience room I saw a video piece. I don't have it.
Starting point is 01:45:55 I don't have it. I'm going to leave it in the comments. I'll leave it and I'll pin the comment. First comment. There was a quote in there. It was a video piece between a poet and a videographer and a musician. And it was in an all mirrored room. The whole video screen on one side.
Starting point is 01:46:17 And I sat and I watched through the mirror. And it was talking about this. I was talking about the cell phone, iPhone, iPhone 13 Mini, and how much of life we lose. And every time, man, I was like, I got to get off this thing. I got to get off. As soon as I find an apartment, I'm going back to a flip phone. Light phone.
Starting point is 01:46:35 Maybe I'll get a light phone if they give service in the UK. I mean, I got to get on WhatsApp. Everybody uses WhatsApp here, so I don't know how to do it. Anyway, I'll figure out a way because I'm losing my life. It was the quote with something along the lines, and I'll leave it in the comment, I'll pin the comment. If you, if you, beauty's so soft, let me see if I have it in here. I will tell you right now, go check out Big J comedy.
Starting point is 01:47:09 So soft. Whisper. Nope, all accounts. ICloud, share notes. Nope. On my phone, notes. Beauty. Nope. I don't have it. It's about how if you just stay quiet and still for a minute,
Starting point is 01:47:38 you can realize life's beauty. And it's gay. I know what I'm saying, but I found that sometimes. When I was in Edinburgh, I had my flip phone. I was passing by like a children's hospital. I got to like, you know, I'm not on the phone. Normally, I'm here now. I'm constantly on it. And I looked up and I saw these like drawings from these kids in the windows. It was like really cool. kind of like you know little things touch you this takes you away from just observing around you I'm killing I'm talking to myself by the way every time a comedian just tip says I don't read comments
Starting point is 01:48:09 it's because they read comments you know what they also don't say I don't start worse yeah they don't say that because they never did and they don't even think about it I don't read comments means they read comments when they're trying not to or they're trying to let you know that you're not going to get through to them on the comments I read the comments on this for the first
Starting point is 01:48:28 two days and respond to them. Be still and you hear the whisper of beauty so soft, something like that. I'm going to write in the comments to who it is and what the quote was. And I'm watching it through a mirror so I can see myself and the video behind me. I've turned around.
Starting point is 01:48:48 Man, it hit me. And then I went outside and there's all this outdoor stuff, outdoor sculptures and stuff. Isn't it great art? It hits you even way later. Dron, boo. Yeah, anyway, I love Amsterdam, and it's one of the top comedy scenes in the world. Boom, Chicago is a great club.
Starting point is 01:49:11 Their local shows are packed. If you find yourself in Amsterdam, go see a local show. It's going to be pretty good. It's not going to be a level of New York. It's not going to be a level of New York or London or L.A. or Austin. But it will be really good. Berlin, Amsterdam. There's great comedy scenes popping up all over.
Starting point is 01:49:31 I got to think Mumbai and New Delhi, too, but I don't know about great. Anyway, let me give you Jay's dates real quick, so you go see it. Big J.com. Here we go. Go see them. Go get a ticket right now. Levittown, Royal Oak, Michigan, Albany, New York, Virginia Beach, Timonium, Maryland. That's Baltimore.
Starting point is 01:49:55 Cleveland, Ohio, Seattle, Seattle, Denver, Colorado, the best club in the world, the Denver Comedy Works, Rochester, New York, Austin, Texas, and the mothership, that's going to be sold out anyway. If you want tickets, you better to go to that right now. Halloween weekend. Brea, California, New Orleans, New Brunswick. Louisville, Kentucky.
Starting point is 01:50:15 Louisville Comedy Club. By the way, best chain in the country, the Bricktown Comedy Chain, which is Louisville, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, that one in Indiana. Where else is there? I think they have one in Tacoma? Philadelphia, New York, Boston, Massachusetts at the Wilbur.
Starting point is 01:50:35 Whoa, he's going to do multiple shows there. That's it. Go to bigjiccommy. Guys, that's it. Yeah, Amsterdam kind of rules. The Anne Frank Museum is great. The Bowles Museum is a good tip. Go to the bowls, and they give you, like, they touch you how to, you've never drinking bowls,
Starting point is 01:50:50 but you see it at bars, and this might have stopped by now. It might be stopped in the heat. But they give you all these testers, and they let you have a couple free glasses. Pretty cool. The Heineken exhibit, where you see, The umpalumpa is making their Heineken. They take their Heineken boat and make them, and that's great. And then the fucking no ear dude, Van Gogh, his museum is pretty great.
Starting point is 01:51:11 And then whatever this modern art museum, I like modern art. Anyway, guys, that's the episode. I hope you enjoy it. Next week, Joe DeRosa, I think I might be wrong. I might be wrong. Joe DeRosa is in two weeks. Next week is either Noam Dwarman on Israel or Fuck.
Starting point is 01:51:31 Prison episode. Fuck. I forget. Subscribe anywhere. You don't want to miss a Deros episode. And whoever the next one is, also you don't want to miss. That's it, everybody.
Starting point is 01:51:41 Hope you enjoyed the episode. Go get the end right now, by the way. Seven episodes of the end for the price of five, plus you get the free prequel, plus you get every episode of YMH live right now. Go and get it. Seven for the price of five plus every episode of YMH live
Starting point is 01:51:55 where you see Joey Diaz coming out of retirement. You see, this is a limited time. You only get this for the next two weeks. already bought it you get it and you see the peg in the ass in the gimp's ass where they play ring toss man man they really figure out how to do a live show all right guys bye please say this to recording yes it is bye bye

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