You Be Trippin' - Cruise Ships w/ Jeff Arcuri | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Go watch Jeff's special "Nice to Meet You" available on Netflix right now! Follow Jeff on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/jarcuri/ SPONSORS: -Head to https://Superpower.com and use code TRIPPIN at checkout for $20 off your membership. Unlock your new health intelligence. 100+ biomarkers. Every year. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod -Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/7chyhxwm #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card.  Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.   On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Ari Shaffir talks to Jeff Arcuri about his time doing comedy on cruises. Cruise comedy is a very interesting lane that you don't hear much about. Jeff gives Ari insight about what it's like to live on the cruise, employee rules that you don't hear about, and the casual racism between employees. Some crazy things go down on cruises. Sea you on the next voyage! You Be Trippin' Ep. 126 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:07:07 - Doing Comedy on Cruises 00:16:09 - Segregation & Clean Comedy 00:30:29 - Employee/Customer Separation 00:47:51 - Making It 00:53:16 - Racism & Drug Testing 01:06:17 - STD Tests 01:10:12 - Cruise Destinations 01:24:54 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify.

Hello, Trippers. We got a great episode for you today. Jeff R. Curry, a killing New York City comic. He's making his debut not only on the podcast, but also for a special. And his specials on Netflix. Netflix, guys, premiering Jeff R. Curry's new special, nice to meet you. Please go check that out. And here we go with a new episode of You Be Tripping and a very themed episode about cruise ships.

Also, if you're out there, please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. Hit the subscribe button right now. Help me out by hit and subscribe, let you know. It'll alert you when there's new episodes coming in. We've got a lot of great new ones coming in. One about me with an Egypt, Big J. O'Kerson, a prison episode. A lot of great ones. So please hit the subscribe button and leave a comment for the Algo below.

All right. Let's start the episode. I love, I prefer like live podcast. There's so much more fun. It's just because you're playing too, like, you know, even if the guest, the panel doesn't laugh, you got, that's pretty good. Tony's another one to try to get on, kill Tony. Yeah, I...

He may or may not have you. That's the thing is, too. It's funny, because I've... I love the show. I watch most episodes. And I think I opened for him once, like, a decade ago. And I think I might have annoyed him. But...

He never forgot. If you did, he did not forget. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. Tony's an elephant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, yeah, I think it's one of those things where I think, like, I'm like, I'm okay with being a fan from afar.

and if it's like I'm a little gay for it that's fine. I don't know. I'm not worried about it. Yeah, all the guys who can't get on Rogan, they're always like, they're split between like fuck him or like whatever. They don't know me. Like Renan. That was my favorite, my favorite. I've never seen a guy fuck that up for it. Oh my God.

Well, not even, I didn't even watch the episode, but the fact that he had the joke where he's like, fuck Rogan. I remember I lived with him for a year. We got into it because he's like, he has a responsibility. I go, he's a comedian. What responsibility? What is not Spider-Man?

If you have that audience. Yeah, what's a number of followers you get? where you can't just make a joke about something anymore. That's my argument. Your responsibility is to your audience who wants just some retard making a statement that he hasn't researched. Yeah. Yeah, I think that you, if you started that. Yeah.

You can continue that. Also, responsibility. Like, he talks to scientists. If he believes anything about something, he's done more research than I have. Yeah. And it's like, if this is what he thinks is the truth, then his responsibility is to show that side of it. So that's what, I mean, his argument is that he should be, like, there was a lot. We debated on a lot where my whole thing was

I was even like, yeah, he does. I don't even like lean right or anything like that, but I'm just like, dude, it doesn't matter. Like if you're a comedian, if you're telling me that if I get to a point where I have enough audience that I need to then be politically responsible, I don't want to do this anymore, you know?

Yeah, it's so dumb. It's not what we're doing. I mean, I think it's lame anytime a comic supports any political party. Yeah. It's just like lame. You should be shitting on all of them. Yeah, the office clown and you're siding with the boss,

It's just weird Yeah On either side It's just like guys They're all war criminals What are we doing? What are we doing? Well that guy's worse

Like fuck off Where you've been and where you're going This is our East travel show Yeah We're gonna talk about travel today It's Union I remember I was in I forgot this part of it

But I did Turkey to Greece Wow And it was Or Cyprus To Greece Okay and Cyprus is occupied by the Turks

and so I remember when we moved from Cyprus to Greece we had to go through a checkpoint and the guy was like quiet and I was like in my videographer and me in a van and I was like what the fuck is what is this like why are we what are we doing and they're like just quiet and then we're getting through and they had like guns and they're like

you're coming from occupied territory what's your nationality what's your bit all this shit the car just all of a sudden the engine just explodes a little bit like just goes boom like that doesn't move I'm freaking out because I'm like they shot us. They shot the car. And I'm freaking out. The guy goes, the car's just out. We'll just have to, you know, he's like, it has to turn it on and then go like 10 feet and then turn it off and let it cool down. And so I'm like, call him a manager. I'm like, I'm at a fucking checkpoint

between Turkey and Cyprus right now. I don't know what the fuck's going on. And then they end up, we had to pull all of our stuff out of the thing and sit in like 110 degree weather for like 30 minutes for another van to come. But I was freaking out. I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to play in Wichita. I heard a thing saying, all the troubles and travel, like any time you're like fucking soaked to the bone and rain or like their checkpoint, they're fucking making me do this,

are going to be super fond memories. Like at some point soon. So you're just like, this sucks, you're like, this is going to be something we laugh about later. What do you think it will be? Just like...

Well, the checkpoint thing is like, it's a fun memory. It's like, wow. Oh, that's true. I thought you're just meeting in the future there will be no checkpoints. No, I mean, the danger's now gone.

They're not going to arrest you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Wow, we were so scared. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's like a fun memory now. Oh, yeah.

I mean, all those memories of a kid. Yeah, we missed our fucking car. They wouldn't let us on because of this. And he was like, that sucks, but it's like, I don't know, whatever. Yeah, dude. A lot of that shit happened in Europe. We didn't have a tour manager. I was dumb enough to not have a tour manager.

So I was doing it myself and running like in friggin' bellfast. We had, we get out of our hotel. They shut down the road in front of the hotel for a marathon. So we're like no Uber's will come pick us up. So it's me and my videographer, all of our equipment, suitcases, over our heads, running through perpendicular to a marathon. as we're running past us. You're doing the Jews getting to synagogue, the Frogger.

We had to run through, and then we barely made it to a train. Like it was those, but now I look back fondly at that. At the time, I was freaking out, you know? Yeah. Yeah, there was some guy. Okay, I'll get to this in a second. Well, Jeff R. Curry is the guest. I'll do a whole drop for you later with your dates, and your special is called what?

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. On Netflix right now is first Netflix. Have you had other specials? No. It's first special. First ever. That's huge.

Thanks. I'll tell you something that time. That was really bad. I got thumb meat on that one. I'm much older now. I go like, let's redo it. Segura,

when I did my first special, he said, and he'd already done a few, and he goes, it's all downhill now. Because all you're trying to do as a comic is get to the point where you can do a special.

And now you've done it, so now it's just doing more. There's no, like, extra thing. Yeah. And if it's like, well, now I'll get it on Netflix and I'll get an experience.

That's, like, a different place where it resides. Yeah. really it's making a special. So you done it. Now it's all fucking... That's what... We could have filmed.

They were like with mint or like YouTube, whatever it may have been. And I'm like, I... Not for nothing, but specials used to be more for like, now I'll sell tickets. Right. You know? And I'm like, I'm already kind of selling right now and I kind of don't want to... Give them reason. I don't want to...

You know, I like the mystery behind like, oh, let's go see his hour because there's not much of it online, you know? Yeah. So why are we talking about today? I threw this topic at you. I used to work on cruise ships for like two years. Love it. Cruise ships.

So I do themey ones too sometimes. Like work visas, you know, different instead of like one or just trains. Sure. So this is perfect for this. Great. Because cruise travel is a specific American? Obese. Obese.

Yeah. How'd you get on? What'd you do? You stand up on them? Yeah. Yeah. I auditioned. I was just like living in a flop house and

Brooklyn, you know, and then I got a call from a friend of a friend. I worked at a club, Rob's Comedy Playhouse in Buffalo, New York. Okay. And a guy that worked there one time was like, hey, man, this company wants to audition comedians. It was in Canada of the audition, and I didn't have a passport, so I had to drive like 14 hours audition and then drive home. That's where you can take just your license? Yeah. Okay. You can just because I drove through Michigan or whatever it was. And I drove straight there and I auditioned. It was a nightmare of an audition because it was a live show,

but they had it in like a brewery. So there's like families eating and then they have. And it wasn't just comedy. It would be like magic. Oh, wow. All the entertainers. Yeah, it's all, every type of entertainer. And by the way, people eating, it's a terrible for a show,

but that's like, this is what you're going to be dealing with. That's true. Right. And that's what happened was the first, the first act was an ACDC cover band. So it was just like 60-year-old men in kilts or, skirts, which was, they were good. I like them. And then the next act was a comedian who had to go up while they were breaking down

in the skirts, bending over. It wouldn't be like that on the cruise show. No, it wouldn't. But it was so funny. I felt so bad. He just ignored it, didn't address it. The next act was a magician. It was probably a couple more music in between, but then there was a magician and his trick failed. His assistant went like this and it wasn't there and he goes, folks, that's a live.

show sometimes it doesn't work out the way you want oh as you're showcasing too it's not just a bad show they're like 100% we're not booking you yeah and then i go up and the first thing i say was you guys remember when that magician fucked up and it was cake from there and i just i go that's a nightmare that's a nightmare that's like me forgetting the joke that's all i'm here for you know what a gift he gave you it really was and then i just did clean comedy it had to be a clean showcase and it was fine but then i left drove home and then it was me and the aced uc cover band that got the only ones that got through and um I was ecstatic because I'm like 1250 a week.

Are you kidding me? A thousand two hundred fifty bucks. Yeah. Plus room and board. Plus room and board. And I was living with five other comics and paying $600 in rent. So I'm like, I'm making twice my rent a week now. Wow.

I was on cloud nine. And then all the every comic or friend of mine I brought up, they're like, oh, you're going to be a cruise ship comic. I'm going to be a cruise hack, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, here's my argument with that, which we can get into it a little bit later once I explain it, is that what's the difference between me performing for a, a show, like on a cruise ship, or are you performing in Omaha? Yeah.

Is it the people? Because those are the same exact people. Is it the context? Maybe it's the context. Maybe they didn't pay for the ticket. They're not going to go, you know, enjoy it. I'll tell you what it is. It's because we had a lot of people at the comedy store who would do, like, colleges,

which is real similar. It's like, it's for a specific type of person. Okay. You have to showcase to get them, and then they book you on a bunch. Sure. When you just do colleges, your act starts to. to be made for college. Yes.

And you see this a lot of times with comics when they start getting a little bigger and start getting laid. Then they start doing jokes to help them get laid. Ooh. Instead of just what they would be doing. There's one out, like a big, I guess, I don't believe this, but like special after his big one,

just the name is fine. And then the next one was like, very sexual. And all those like girls who were into him was like kind of turned it off like, oh. I'm sure he got laid more because of it. But it was like a lot of, of people like, ew. That's interesting.

I feel like every comic has to go, has gone through a few years of their, their sex set, like, where it's like mostly about, mine's like, whoops, I can't believe I had sex, which is also in itself a tactic, you could argue, that like, aw, I'll have sex with him. Yeah.

So, but the college acts, who would then come back to the comedy store, they're like, oh, this shit doesn't quite work here. Yeah. For a different audience. And so then, like, well, now I got to do both. and now my college sets, his college sets were like comedy store ready

and more edgy than the regular college set but he had to like also base himself in the real world. So like as long as you get off a cruise ship and come back to the cellar, yes, you're good. So that's the thing is actually, well, I was doing cruises first and then I got into the cellar

because I was just doing a random Vegas club, ran into a couple comics like, you should host because we did a show. Whatever it was was serendipidus, but then I started weeing myself out of cruise. because I was like I'd rather be broke at the seller than wealthy on cruise. So you can make $12.50 a week here. You can.

It's pretty wild. If you do well enough, if you're going in and trying to. If you get weekend spots like hella. Right. You do like four each each like, oh, you're good. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's what I pay my therapy with my seller spots.

Nice. And the thing is you need more from those seller spots. What do you think she meant by this? This guy, Mack Lindsay, had a joke about he worked at Starbucks. It goes they pay for health insurance. Everyone's like they pay for health insurance. Everything except mental health insurance, which is the one thing you need from working at Starbucks. Sure.

Um, so you start doing cruise ships. Tell, like, tell me everything about it. Okay. So let's just say you're starting on cruises. Okay. Um, you would get, like, you have to fill out all the shit like you're going to be an employee. Like, background check, everything. Okay.

Um, you're a contracted employee, but you have to go through all the rigmarole. Your requirement for the ships in terms of like shows is you need to have, uh, three different shows, three different 30 minutes shows. You have a clean 30 and then two different, adult 30s, which anything goes as a old. Two different adult, okay. Which anything goes doesn't mean anything goes. Like I, anything goes meaning you can go dirty,

you can curse, but you can't, I wouldn't go up and talk about politics. People complain, those complaints, if they get to the amount that they can get to, like 10 from one show, they'll like, we'll watch it or act and be like, all right, this is not for us. It's not, exactly. It's like, when they never say, don't be blue was a big thing when I started, don't be dirty. For it, don't curse, but then it was like,

we don't mean don't curse. Because it's like, well, that guy curses, he's fine. Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's lovable. And this guy's not cursing, but he's talking about the price of gas. And he goes, I would crush an Iraqi baby's skull with my foot if it walked down the price of gas and nickel. We're like, there's no cuss words in there. So it's not about cursing. Yes. Yeah. So the, but the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the clean show had to be, like, there will be children in the show. Like, there are sometimes, like, five-year-olds. Which is actually interesting to do a crowd like that. Yeah, dude, I found a way to deal with it was,

well, number one is, you had to have the three different 30-minute shows, but there was per contract, meaning like, let's say one contract was either a weekend or it could be a week. So that could mean that you're doing one show a night or you could mean you're doing a show every other night or two shows every other night, whatever it may be. But one contract is five shows. So let's just say you're on one ship for a five-day cruise. You may not have shows the first two days. But in the last three days, you have two shows per night and then one show on the last night, whatever it may be. But you get to repeat.

So you have to do five shows total. You have to repeat one of the clean and then one of the dirty. So you're doing repeat shows and you label the shows. Like my clean show was called Hi Mom and my dirty show was called. Wow, it's like a fringe hour. Yeah, it's 100%. They didn't have to necessarily be themed. It was just from people to identify, hey, I saw this one already.

But that didn't stop people because they liked a comic. They would come back and see it again. They come back and see the same exact show and then just stare at you through the same punchline. It's like, why isn't this working again? That's so sucky. That part sucks. So I decided to cut all my sets in half. and then just crowd work.

Like, I'm just gonna dip into the crowd. And then for the clean shows, I just wrote clean jokes and had children tell them. Like, I'd be like, who wants to tell a couple of jokes? I was just, really? These clean ones, dude? Like, I sure, I got through a lot of my clean material. I turned some dirty jokes into clean jokes.

But for the most part, I'm like, it's a 4 p.m. show. I'm not going to yield great material out of this. I'm just going to kind of try and get through this. And so I would just kind of kill time for the most part. Yeah. And so then when you're not doing it, No.

What'd you do? Nothing. I would, I started to exercise a lot. Yeah, got my own cabin, indoor, no windows. Yeah, like the joke for comics, I've heard it more than once was if you slip in the shower, you could fall in bed. Like, how the room, how small tiny of the rooms were. I had a good 10 minutes on, like, cruise ship shit. That's the kind of shit.

So that's what makes me into a bad comic. We're like, I'm doing this stuff. Actually, no one's related. This Vegas is the same way. You always talk about like you're lost at the table. You try to do that in New York. It was like, no. No, it's stuff that stayed there,

but I never really, like, I'd never dedicated. There was some comics that had a half an hour on ships, that that was their ship act. Their one half an hour for that reason. Work. And some of them, like, the jokes were good because it was like, oh, you know,

they're a little racy, a little dicey and a little fun, because that's another thing I want to talk about, too, is the, I don't want to say segregation, but the workers to the people. What? Yeah, yeah, basically how compartmentalized all the, like, the nationalities were.

So, for example, every ship I worked the casino staff were all Slavic or Eastern European all of them because they were known for speaking better English and for their

card abilities I guess the security staff were all Filipino Indonesian Nepalese a bunch of them were Gurkha soldiers like from Nepal

it's like yeah from Nepal they were like they fought against the British or something like that but they were legit like soldiers But all security was in the inner East Asian. All of them were. And then every, all the cleaning crew were Filipino.

Filipino, that's what I saw. Philippino and the kitchen knee staff, whatever. Yes. Yeah, Indonesian and Filipino for the staff. And then the bartending staff is a lot of Indonesian, but then also mostly a lot of Slavic and then or Eastern European. And then the officers and all of them were usually Italian, mostly Italian. And then a lot of the engineers were.

were a South African, actually. Wow. I would just ask everybody, because there's the crew bar. Have you ever been to the crew bar? No. That, so it's a crew. I went on one cruise,

an impractical Joker's cruise. That's a different experience. It was cooked as much as possible because there's like 20 comics on board. Yeah. So it was like me and Samaril, basketball on the deck and doing like, it was like, oh, this is fun.

You guys want to eat? Come out with us. I was meeting, I was hanging. It still sucked. Yeah, now imagine the only comic there is 70 and really, little bitter and you're hanging out with him the whole time. Wow. There was some

times where, dude, I've seen a couple comics get kicked off, like fired right in front of my eyes because of their act. What? I have a couple of those. The one comic you ever have those guys that overcorrect where you're like, they're almost so white-nighty you're like, you did something.

Like this comic I worked with over-correction, for sure. He was like, hey man, word of advice when you take pictures with fans after the show. the women, you don't touch them, man. They'll lose their mind. Don't touch them. Keep your arms wide. They'll lose your mind being angry?

Yeah, like, you can't touch women during the photo because you know how they are. Like it was very like, and don't touch them. I go, I'll be all right, man. They know I'm not trying to have sex with them because I'm taking a photo with them. I'm just putting my arm around them. And he's like, that's what they say now.

I'm not grabbing their weight and touch their tit on the slide of. I'm just like. It was very like the girl else, the other comic was working with her shoes. It's very coded to be like, yeah, don't even touch them. Because you know, you're going to get canceled.

if you even touch them, you're going to get canceled, like one of those situations. But we're doing a theater show. So usually they added, which is they would have like a thousand people in this big, like where they'd have the Cirque to Salae shit or whatever. And they'd have comics go up and do usually 20 minutes back to back. I go up second. He was up first. We just do a piggyback type of show.

And it's a PG show. But it's later than normal. It's like an 830 or 9 o'clock show. And he should know this. I know this. I'm adamant about checking this to make sure it's PG or not. He goes up and he's just. like there's a fake brick wall on the LED screen and he's like,

look at that, huh? Better than the fucking wall we got down south, am I right? And then everyone's like, what the fuck? Everyone like kind of shifts their seat. We're like, what? And he's like, all right, all right. Well, let's get to know where you guys all from? Like one of those where you're like, oh, you're just struggling already.

And someone's like Scotland. He's like, oh, Scotland, Scotland. He goes, you know why their fences are so small? Because if they go to jump over them, they smack their balls on them because because of the kilts. And it's just nothing. And some lady yells out, this is a children's show.

And he goes, shut up, Karen. And everyone's just like, what the fuck? And she's like, my children are leaving because of you. And he's like,

your children don't even love you. And I was like, what the fuck? That's a club act. That's crazy. Dude, it was wild. And then he goes,

she goes, he goes, children know what balls are lady. He's yelling this out. In front of this thousand, there's children in the audience. Children, he goes,

do me a favor if you're like 15 14 or under and you know what balls are raise your hand i'm like don't make the children participate and i'm now behind the bar in the fetal position cringing cringing the host of the show runs over to me and it's a small Filipino dude American he's like the host meaning like he runs the comedy show it does a street choke up front and brings us up yeah and he goes what do i do what do the bosses are calling people are complaining And I go, don't, you didn't, I go, honestly, dude, you just walked in the room. I go, don't get him fired, but don't lose your job. I go, just that you didn't see this part of it or whatever.

But don't lose your job for this guy. Like, he's fucking up. He doesn't mean like, because if you get caught lying, I don't want him to lose his job, you know. Some of these people, they make four times their average income. Shouldn't be doing this. Yeah. It's not like, yeah, he was fine. He was like, dude, what are you doing?

Yeah. Also, if you're a cruise ship comic, no offense. You're not, it's not like, you're not like, you. You gotta drop the I'm an artist. It's like, I'm for hire with a specific set that they want me to do. It's like being a DJ at her wedding. You're like, I'm not doing original.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just can't do that now. I'm doing the shit that works. Like my closing bit was a snoring bit because, oh, which I even got in trouble for that on a PG show. I worked with this woman, Raging Cajun was her name on the,

I forget her, fuck, I forgot her name, dude. We hung out. It was post-pandemic. Yeah. We were on the cruise. We just drank whiskey and argued politics. She's just 70 years old from New Orleans, white lady. And she was, dude, I don't know what it is,

but old people hate fucking, what's it called? Windmills, like the energy ones. Oh, really? Yeah. The one with the thin things. Yeah. They hate them. It's crazy.

They just, they lose their mind. They're like, it's not real. They're not real. Renewable energy, though, no, we don't like it. Guys, I get it if you want to keep the, coal jobs, but like, what's wrong with extra power? Yeah, they're saying that they're all diesel powered and the government's line to us. We just be drinking bourbon and just arguing about this.

But she, the first day- People like that, because I figured out this. Instead of going, let me tell you why you're wrong and look me up. I'm like, I'd rather just research this train, this line of thought. Yes. So I'm like, tell me more. It was very fun. So why do they power it with diesel just to make less energy?

Yeah. And she was like a fun Republican or fun right-wing. in the sense that she was really, really hard right, but not racist. Yeah. Like, she'd be like, let's get this black mother. Come here. Let me ask you.

Like, she'd talk to them, like, equally, and everyone had that equalness to them. Like, the racism on the ships were crazy. Like, the casual racism. Like, come here, you black motherfucker. Like that. Like, and they'd be like a Filipino guy telling him to talk about a black guy.

And then them just throwing slurs at each other while drinking and me going, oh. That's so fun being away from New York where you're like, whoa, you guys get after it. But I had, yeah, that's, yeah, I had a, this lady I met the first day I met her was on accident I just finished my first PG show

was post-pandemic so we're stuck on the ship for six weeks now at this point we just started these are the comics I'm gonna be with these three other comics for the whole next six weeks and she a lady comes up to me after my first PG show and she goes this is supposed to be a PG show and I don't know who to talk to manager-wise but you brought up how you or girlfriend snores which insinuates you're sleeping with her and you guys are unmarried I wasn't even saying the angle I'm like what's the angle of this but that's it unmarried sleeping in the same bed. But that's PG.

She's talking about a G show. Yeah, well, that's, I mean, that's PG has insinuation. That's barely PG. Like, to me, it's just, it's, she could have been napping next to a woman and she snored. That doesn't, you know what I mean? Like, but so the Cajun lady right next to me, never met her. She just goes, I'm the other comic. And if you find that dairy, don't come to my fucking show.

And there's looked her in the eye. The lady was like this. And I, from that day for her, I'm like, let's go get a drink. And she was like the sweetest old lady. I love it. Dude, Joey Diaz is. once we were all in La Jolla comedy store they would send the comics there it was

kind of like the Vegas seller used to before the pandemic and it was two hour drive so you'd go down there with somebody it was me Diaz and this lady Kelly Kirsten and I was on first I was way dirty than I am now and then Kelly was pretty dirty too

and Diaz is the filthiest so I'm on and whoever is it's thinking it's a cleaner show it was just getting mad but I'm off and 15 and like finally he's done I could tell it and then Kelly's on at five minutes of this they're like, what the? And they went out and started complaining they're like, you said this is going to be a clean show and they're like, no, we didn't. They said

yes, you said the 8 o'clock show was a clean show. And then they go, they go, I think you might have called the comedy store in Los Angeles. Like, no, I didn't. I'm like, well, we don't have an 8 o'clock show. There's a 7.30 show. Yeah. I think you called the other place. And she was like, no, and this is too dirty. And then Diaz hadn't been on yet. No one of us had draws. So they were just there for the club. He just walked up. It was like,

get the fuck out, you bitch. You fucking piece of shit, get the fuck out of here. Just like chased her out. He was done. He was like, don't stay for me. Wow. It was pretty much like, get out. You're done.

Oh, shit. You got to love that, though. You know, as I've adjusted, I've chameleoned myself a few times, and I hate myself after every time. And I love comics that are on a bash like that. You know what I do now? It's me and, um, what's in Lev? It's a, fuck, I got a block on his name. But we were talking.

He dropped an end bomb on stage. talking about a story where he was arrested and they called them the N-word Tom Brady because he looked like Tom Brady. So he said like this, like that? Yeah, he's like they call me

Yeah. He did an impression of them. Yeah. Oh, he didn't know. Which also... If you pretended to sound black, that's better. Yeah, which also, it's like

that's even less acceptable now but I even just told that story like in a context you could do it now. Now are even the term the N-word is people like, don't even do that. Yeah. Anyway, this lady, like a one-eighth black lady

comes up to us trying to defend her one-eighth with her seven-eighths of angry. And she was like, don't ever, there's never reason to use that word, how dare you? And it hit me then. I'm like, this how, and then ever since then this is how I've handled. I'm like, you know what, you're absolutely right. I never thought about it that way. I'm not going to do that ever again. And then they go, well, you shouldn't do it.

Like, lady, I 100% see it. You're right. I feel terrible. And then I'm like, I'm going to keep doing whatever. I mean, get away from me. They know you're placating them a little bit? Maybe not. Maybe not.

But because they want to fight and you don't give them one. And then also it's like, what am I going to learn something right now? Yeah. I know you're annoying. Get out of here. So it's like, how do I get my out of your fastest? Agree with them. That's true.

Yeah. Yeah. It's all fun and gains, but I don't think you need to make jokes about death. I'm like, you know what? Damn. You're right. We should be kind of happier. I'll work on it.

I go, okay. I'm doing that later tonight. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? It's like the Western Central. People love to be offended on behalf. Hey guys, sometimes I go to a doctor and I get out of there and I feel like, well, you didn't really help me at all.

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flex cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC and the Bank Corp Bank N.A. pursuant to a license from Visa USA Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton Debit Flex card and Bank Corp debit flex card. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash app, a Block Inc. brand. Visit cash.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Did you, when you do these shows, are you, are you told not to talk to the humans? No, not at all. You're allowed. Yeah. Like talk to the crowd?

No, no, no. Oh. I mean, when you're walking around all day. Oh, talk to the humans? What am I? You're not, you're a subhuman. You're an employee. I mean, what do they call?

So, staff and customers? Carnival's the one I worked. Okay. And that's the lower rung. Is it really? The oldest rung of cruise ships. Carnival's the most well known. Yeah, I mean, it's the McDonald's of the sea.

Yeah, yeah. So everyone knows Carnival, but also Princess. Yeah. And all that. They're hired. All of them are owned, it's all black rock. Like it's all, not actual black rock, but it's all like, Princess owns Carnival.

Carnival owns most of the higher luxurious. I believe, like, not Royal, but like another, not royal, but they own another one where everyone's like, yeah, Carnival is the trash one and they make fun of it. And it's like, it's the same company. So it's like Lexus and Toyota? Yeah, 100%. There's, there's, like, we're going on a Princess cruise to Alaska. It's the same company as Carnival.

Interesting. But they have the higher end and then they have their budget end. Okay. And what was your question? Sorry, I forget. If you're allowed to talk to the customers and if you're what the sex, if there's sex going on. So, yeah, there can be. Yeah.

They're not supposed to be. So there's like carnival's a lower rung. And so what happens is when you sign on, you are technically a contract and employee. You have to follow all the employee rules, except for a few. One of which is that I can eat and drink, like not alcoholic, anywhere on the cruise ship that the guests can, as long as it's in. You're allowed, my face. I'm allowed to go eat there. But I have to wear my name tag.

To let them know you're a subhuman. Yes. To let them, to be, to not, because if I was in line for the buffet, there's a long line for buffet, I can't get in line until the line goes to lower. Wow. But was there an employee section to eat? Like if you wanted to. There were, yeah. And that's where only the employees.

Like, we're all the, and it was just straight up. That's dingy. 100% Vegas. It's dark. It feels really depressed. Buttered spaghetti and hot dogs, like that type of shit. Yeah. That's all it was is down there.

And sometimes the food was better. Like sometimes the dated rice. You're like, they're going to do rice better. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. And you'd see them like making, fixing it up and use, like it was, I was like,

sometimes I eat down there. But I could eat wherever I wanted, which was a good and bad thing. Like the food was better for the guests. But I'm wearing a name tag and I was just on stage twice last night. If I'm sitting down and eating people that are, there's only 2,000, 1,000 people there, they're going, oh, funny guy. And they sit down next to you. Yeah.

They're drinking their big gulp and they're just talking to you. And I'm just trying to. I can't eat. I can't eat when someone sits next to me like that. I just, I'll stop eating, and then I'll just let my food get cold, and then they'll leave. So there's annoying parts of it. You can't bring food back to your room ever. What?

Yeah, ever. It's not allowed. Low plates, no apples, nothing. You can't have it in there. Like cleanliness or something? I think so. I think that they just don't want somebody doing that all the time. I remember them real strict on everybody coming in, a smile in Filipino.

I was like, let me spray your hands with hands sanitizer. Let me spray your hands. Because if anybody got sick, everybody's getting sick, and they have to fight it. You have to report diarrhea right away. You have to report it. First of all, I already do that to Lewis. Every time I have diarrhea, I take a video. Really?

Lately, they've been slow-motion flushing videos, and I let him know. I have had diarrhea. You should let me know what you think. There is blood in this. I should have used that malicious compliance. That would have been great. Like, oh, not only do I have it?

Video evidence. Not a picture evidence. It's a video. And not only do you have to report your diarrhea. If your bunkmate has diarrhea and they don't report it, you have to report them. You have to tell on them? that they have diarrhea?

Smell something, say something. So I remember people getting in trouble for that. Dude, I had diarrhea. I'm lactose intolerant and I never know what they're cooking. I was blast in most weeks. I'm not reporting it. So you have to, you can eat up there, whatever. There's the crew bar than the regular bars.

You could order drinks, but you have to pay full price. So you could have a $16 mojito or go to the crew bar where drinks were insanely discounted, like a vodka tonic, Titos and soda, which is like a shot and whatever, 98 cents. Yeah, so I was getting wasted for $6. You're a boozer? I was. On the cruise ships, I had nothing to do

and that's how I'd make friends. Here's everything I believed about cruise ships, especially my friend, Steve Simone, does him a lot, and so he's met the old timers too. And you go one of two ways and sometimes it's a shift. Either get drunk every day, or work out.

Yeah. And sometimes like, I can't do it. been seven straight years of drinking every single thing. What else am I going to do? And then it's like, I'm going to work on my body. I was doing both. Wow. I would just run on the top deck. And then at night, I'd go, like, have a drink.

If I didn't have shows that night, I'd just read in the crew bar until it started getting busy. And then I'd find, like, usually I'd flock toward the UK singers. Like an old British guy at a pub with his newspaper. Yeah, yeah, kind of. Oh, dude, I was, I was reading, I was crazy into wolves. I was reading a lot of books on wolves. I was just, just me. I want a dork.

Me and a white claw. I just got... Should I check London. Did I remember... Not only was I reading about wolves at the time, I remember really talking people up about them. I love me to nerd out about something. You're like, everybody's into this, right?

It was about the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone. I'm like, it saved the national parks. I was losing my mind talking about wolves, but then, yeah, I would just get... I would flock to, like, the UK singers. A lot of them of the singers were UK. Okay. And the performers. which was a sad sight sometimes.

I remember I hooked up with one and I made a joke to her. I go, it's fun finding ourselves on the downturn of our careers, you know? She didn't agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, okay, but she blew her knee out dancing like four years prior.

She was 32. She's on a cruise ship dancing here. I'm like, self-awareness. Yeah, you know, like, I'm on a cruise ship after doing late night. This is where I'm, I was, I was like, this is where I'm gonna live. I'm fine with it.

I'll make six figures a year. I'll have, you know, whatever. I'm fine with this. I was happy with it. I forgot my train of thought, but I was talking about, oh, the drinking, and then I'd flock to like the UK singers and stuff.

And then the hooking up part, you could. There's nothing about it. Guests, no way. Not, never. But there must have been, on my one cruise, so I'm, very limited data points.

One of the comics. hooked up with like somebody was there with their parents who were like we love impractical jokers they grew up watching it and they're like 23 now and they hooked up but there wasn't rules like that it was like a rent-your-own boat for impractical joker yeah that's that's different but i've heard like an absolute note but you must get women coming up to you afterwards going oh my god i sell yesterday what are you doing you want to yeah what are you doing tonight you know what i think it comes with age where you ever like you think about it practically and and and this one ain't worth it it there's that and there's also like you don't think

about the night of sleeping with them i think about the sneaking out the repercussions and the guilt and the fear of getting caught because you hear all the stories there's stories of they they search your bunk randomly it's two knocks in an open what there's no there's no like they would randomly do that like at least once per contract i just hear open the door so if i'm checking off sleeping whatever it is they just grow yeah random inspection in case if there's somebody in there, if there's, you know,

anything going on. One thing that would happen is I would, I'd, like, use hairspray or, or steam in the shower. It would set my fire alarm off. Yeah. And then they'd rush into the room every time,

like, all the time. And they just, I could be just in a towel holding over my job. Like, if you're smoking a cigarette, we're stopping you. Yeah, yeah.

There's stories of them walking in and, like, opening the cabinet of the comedian, and there's, like, a 23-year-old girl in there, like that, like, she was trying to hide her.

And what do they do? They've, They just let you off the next thing. You're fired immediately. If you're caught, if a guest is caught in your cabin or you're caught in a guest cabin, it's one strike. What do you do until then? Is there a brig?

Or do you just stay in your cabin? No, they stay in your cabin. They assign a security guard outside of it. They sit outside the door. There's people that, you see videos online of like a security guard sitting outside a cruise person's room and like a guest. And it's because they either got in trouble or they, yeah, they're just not allowed to interact with guests until they get.

to the next police station or the next island. And they let them off and then get them home or you get home on your own? You have to get home on your own. That's all yours. You're done. Dude, you know the only times we've pulled up to port in back to America and they just arrested like seven people with warrants because they go, we know where you're going to be at this time.

We see that your passport was flagged as leaving the country and we know when that cruise returns. So they're waiting for you. I would, every time I was on a back to back, like I'd do a three day than a five day. I'd go to the balcony on the department, no matter what time, it was like 8 a.m. 9 a.m. And I'd always watch. And there'd be like just 10 soldiers and they'd just just random dudes

just like, ah, fuck. And then they were getting arrested. That's so cool. It was pretty sick to watch. Yeah. Yeah. But just knowing I'm like, man, that guy was having the week of his life, not knowing. You know? What a final last week? It's like point break. Like, let me do one last. There was one where they were stealing and

duping people's credit cards throughout the ship. And they found them through whatever it was. And they came, they had them like de-board and then the cops were all they oh they actually know somebody who was doing it on the beach from the ship so they were walking along the beach just scanning people's cards and taking their info and they got caught i guess and right before the ship left they like seized the ship and then they had to bring this this it was a young good-looking couple i got off a couple yeah yeah yeah yeah

young buff and i'm like that was i love a couple doing crimes together it is kind of hot it's kind of hot it's a little yeah yeah yeah there's there's been arrest i had a death during one of my shows It's not like abductions and sexual stuff. Yeah. No, it's like, oh, this isn't as fun. It's usually trafficking. Yeah, where it's like the wife's like, get her, pick her. Yeah, Bonnie and Clyde ain't what they used to be.

Bonnie and Clyde. That's fun. Now they're all banging. Banks, yeah. I had a lady die or a guy. I don't know who it was. On a ship? On a ship.

There was Code Red or Code Black, which I forget which one of it is, it means death. And a lot of, anybody who's cruised more than, like, a lot of these people go on cruises like five times a year, they know what the, codes mean. And what happens is they shut down an entire floor of the cruise.

Why? So, because they have a dead body, they need to remove it. So they send medical. It's usually like emergency medical code blue. What? They can't have anyone see that on a fun cruise. No. There's, there's, I got stories. So I was on stage doing the theater set, one of my theater sets.

And not only does it play through the speakers, it shuts your microphone off. So I'm in the middle of a clean show and it was like, code red, please These, no visitors or guests on floor nine. We have code red on floor nine. Whatever code black, what a brown, whatever was. And everyone knew.

I didn't know the time. Somebody died. But everyone, there's a solemn presence. And then everyone, I was like, yeah, somebody died. And then I was like, that's crazy. And then I was like going down. I was taking the stairs and I saw a body bag. They had like a body bag.

And they had like just security on every part of the stairs. Because I had a name tag. They're like, you're one of us. Keep going. And I saw a body bag after my set. Yeah. That threw me off. Creaky.

then stories I've heard. The rest of it's like a lot of stories like of children dying because there's like the big atrium in the middle. Uh-huh. Spiral staircases. The kids stand on luggage to look over the thing. Top of all over the way. Ten floors down just through the cruise ship.

The comic that told me about that story, he's like, I hate to burn you with the story. He's like, dude, I just, most nights I hear the sound. And I'm like, oh God. What sound of the crunching child? The child hitting the bottom of the... That story still gets me, dude. Imagine that, like, you're a parent.

You're just, he's climbing up. Yeah. Jeopardy overboards? Not on, not when I was on. Or like a cruise divorce, I'll call him. I've had, I've seen some shit go down. Like, screaming arguments. I've seen a couple fights.

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check out Underbrush from Nathan and Sons. There's also, Carnival has, like, it's kind of sneaky. They do longer cruises. Come in here a little bit. Why? Oh, am I too far? My bad. They have like the 10-day cruises.

So my first ever cruise was a 10-day back-to-back with a three-day. So it was like a 10-day Panamanian cruise through the Panama Canal. And then, yeah, which was like two weeks, which was retirement age. People. They're going on a 10-day cruise. Yeah, that's what I want to ask who these people are. The next one was a three-day cruise, spring break. And it was spring break.

So it was me and this other comic. And his name, just in case I don't want to talk shit about him, because I'm going to talk shit about him. He had like a catchphrase in his name, like the party guy. Okay. Like, you know, I'm Tim, the party guy, McGloff or whatever. McLaugh, I don't know why. That's a friend of mine. And so.

he had to go up and I was doing the he did his set did well on his PG like the PG show was like 4 p.m. Like it was a very retirement cruise and then I went up and bombed like just talking about fucking dating, you know, and and he walks up to me and I'll never forget. He's like, you just you got to adjust your act to the age groups you're playing for man. And I remember just being like, fuck you because I hated this about him is that he was hitting his business cards out to my audience before my show. Like he came back for my show and was like and just a reminder I'm the fun guy. and was giving business cards out. And he wasn't a comic. He never did it on land.

He was a cruise director that found that he can make more money doing comedy. So he switched and he wears full wacky suits. Wow. He's gonna know anybody who's working on those who is now. It's like some real.

He has a catchphrase and wears silly suits. He's like you if you didn't make it ironic or funny. Right. I do love suits. I do love weird suits. And yeah. And then I went on.

up and I bombed and then he told me that and then the next was back to back was spring great crews and then he fucking ate shit. Oh, because he can't deal with like real people. Yeah, doing his impressions of the preachers and stuff like that. And then I fucking crushed and it was like I was doing like extra time. It was so fun. And then I walked up to him after I go, you got to adjust to the audience. I deserve that.

And I was like, yeah, dude. We saw there was a comic at the store who was definitely worked a lot of cruise ships and he was a cruise ship act. And he was like, you shouldn't be in L.A. New York comedy. You're a cruise ship act. It's fine. But, like, that's what you do.

This is, like, different here. And I remember him doing just a, like, a teen tour. They had these teen tours at the improv where they was, like, these 14-year-olds of go across the country. And one of the shows you could go, one of the things was go see a show at the improv. And they would tell you, like, hey, it's a teen tour. If you don't want to do it, we'll get someone else. It's okay.

Okay. But I loved it. I'm like, I never get a 14-year-old audience. And I get extra dirty. Really? Yeah. So does anything goes? They don't care.

Yeah. I'm trying to do well. Well, but I'm like, these kids want filth. Yeah. And everyone was trying to clean it up. But sometimes you do dirty would be like they can't even comprehend it. Like I had a bit about fucking in the shower. And they're like, that's beyond.

We're just imagining sex. Yeah, yeah. What? But like, but like this guy did this bit, this Crucese back bit. And he was like, he has a guitar comic. He's talking about Blink 182. And he's making all these jokes about them being like kind of like the sex biz. Like hardcore punk band.

But everyone's the audience is like, they're not punk like that, dude. They're like nice people They're not like Yeah Like you clearly don't know And also You're talking about You're talking about

You're talking about sex pistols To 14 year olds at the time No he's talking about Blinkly 2 But he's making them seem like They're like They're like fuck off man I'll do what I want

Oh That's impression of them No Yeah that's not blink 182 No And then they're like We know who they are

It's not at all Yeah Tom DeLong is a big follower Of Bigfoot You know what Yeah If you want to do jokes like that It's fine

Yeah When was this I mean 15 years ago Okay All right Yeah You guys not a comic anymore So, okay

Let's talk about the food also Because I told you I gained 17 pounds Yeah In like in like eight days or whatever it was I mean it's a choice I was doing it long enough You were there for like

This is the one time I'm doing this I looked at it as like I got seven more contracts Before the years out I'm gonna be on cruises for a while I need to come up with some sort of routine So I would just I would eat healthier

I would like run every day, read every day, and write every day. That was my three things. That's good. And it was honestly like the healthiest I've been in terms of that. But then just like to make up for the social part of it or being anxious, I would like, I'd have a couple drinks at the end of the night and then walk over and be like, hey, I'm only here for a week. Because these people are on cruise for six to eight months. So I'm on for a week. They don't give a fuck.

Like they know I'm going to be leaving. So it's hard to make friends. So I would just be like, can I buy you guys all around and let me sit with you guys and chat? And they're like, hell yeah, come on over. 99% of the time they were like, they became like friends. I still, they still visit me in New York.

Really? Like, we're still friends. Yeah, because a lot of them are very talented singers, you know? Yeah,

you could hook, I did hook up with them. The difference in music between making it and not making it sometimes is like, a break here or there. Yeah.

Where you're like, dude, you're hell of talented. There's no reason you haven't got a record deal. I don't know. It's, I,

the reason I got into the cellar, which arguably is the reason for my pivot into being more successful was because I did a hike in Vegas with Matt Broussard and after I hosted a show with him he was like you should host at the cellar and that was like I had that

if I didn't do that hike if I didn't you know all the things like I think about that like Rogan has a story of he was trying to there's a showcase for this big time manager and at one of the comedy clubs maybe laughs no it wasn't laughs way before that but

Boston at the one at Fanio Hall I think but anyway they were like you're too dirty you can't be on it and he's like okay And so he was over at Nick's comedy stop, just performing. The manager got bored of these guys doing their acts. And he was like, man, I'm not really enjoying any of these guys. And just took a walk. And then saw, oh, Nick's comedy stop.

And went in there and saw Joe just killing, dirty, filthy, but like crushing. And he was like, oh, this guy's great. Hey, let me talk to you. You need representation? Whoa. And it was just like a lucky thing. If the guy had stopped to go to the bathroom or not stopped to go, he would have missed him. He'd probably still be like a bar comic in,

in Boston. You know, and I agree, and I also, I semi-disagree that I feel like cream rises to a certain degree. Like, if it wasn't him, he would have been found. Like, my wife would kind of remind me, like, if that didn't happen, something else, because I also never looked at anything besides comedy.

I was like, if cruise ships, I'll just do this, but I'm going to keep making myself better at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like that thing of like, they ask some golf, I, Nick Faldo. I was like, man, you hit that lucky shot out of the, out of the rough over that tree on 817. And he goes, hey, it's funny. Like, maybe it's, he stole the quote,

but he goes, the more I practice, the luckier I seem to get. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, yeah, you'll have more opportunities, but, like, you need that one. Yes, you also need to have done it for 16 years prior. Who's Joey from Friends? I think he booked another pilot that year.

Matt LeBlanc, yeah. It got dropped. It's like, we're not, that's not going. And he was just in time at the end of Pilots. He's going to audition for one more pilot that was Friends. But if he doesn't get that, or if the other show lasts a half season, he's not where he is.

Do you do VO or auditioning stuff? Like, no, I hate it. Doing it. I stopped doing it. I tell my agent, I was like, they were like, hey, you keep not doing these. I'm like, I only want to do cool stuff. Yeah. And she says, what's cool?

I'm like, I can't tell you. But the Teenage Mutant and Digital Shurtles, too, that was a not cool one. So I didn't want to go, but I feel bad you're working so hard to get me these auditions. I know. I've been shitty about it. And like, some of them are really cool. You're making enough money. That was the thing, too.

Your path is going to be different. You're going to get offered something. I think. that's not like I'm like oh that's what I want but like I also look at it that way where now with a comedy is the way it is yeah come you're telling me to take two weeks off to shoot something for this amount of money when I could take I could do two club weekends better my act you a week on SVU yeah yeah yeah yeah it doesn't make as much sense nice but not what you're getting and I met with uh like oh no animation studio it was like one of those meetings where

it didn't know it started it was like I was just kind of cool we're just talking about video games and shit and then it started and then he talked about he's like listen man, I go, I'm not going to send you anything that's not going to be like crazy because you guys make more on the road than you're going to make in my studio and I go, you're a fucking real one for that dude. No one mentions that ever. Get me in on a Monday.

Yeah, like the longevity and the residuals and shit are great, but yes, I just love what we do. Comedy's so high level right now in terms of like finances. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty great. Have you done like an arena? I did Kill Tony at MSG.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I did one with Shane. in Washington, D.C. How is that? That was pretty sick. But I mean, I was so nervous. Have you done them? No.

I was so nervous. I was so nervous. Kill Tony was different because I was doing kind of a character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I came from the back. I made a real wrestling. And your reactionary more than... Interrupting, calling people like,

you're fat, you're ugly. You're really doing a, like, let me be the heel here, which was actually glorious, and I really had a lot of fun with it. Yeah, Tony and I were trying to... He's so cool at, like, just coming up with stuff. And I was like, so how do you want to be? want to do this.

I'm like, yeah, I'm going to show like a fake dick or a fake vagina. I don't know. And I was like at some point I'm like, oh, I should interrupt from the back. He's like, yep, 100%. And that's like an hour before. That's great. Yep. Let's get you a cool list of life.

Let's get you back there. I love the swings they take. Like, it was just like, has he's talking. And I'm like, hold on one goddamn second. He's like, what? I'm going to the crowd. I've never seen so many fat pieces of shit in my life. Dude, I thought of each.

So funny. It makes my balls go inside me. I was very nervous. Walking through all those people. Once you get going, you get going. But then with Shane, I was so nervous. But I just, you know, it's like what you said with that showcase where you got lucky, somebody bombed ahead of you.

Yeah. This is where I used to watch basketball games that grew up there. So I'm like, this is why I used to watch the Wizards lose here all the time. Yeah. One laugh. And I'm like, now I'm good. Nice. But if I don't get that first laugh, fuck.

It sucks. 20,000 people not laughing at you. That's so many people, man. So many people. I feel like shit at the shows where there's like 1,500, and I look at the back row, and I'm like, what? Are you enjoying this? Are you having fun? Yeah.

Yeah. So, okay, the food at these things. Yeah, sorry. One of my memories is watching these Filipino smiling guys take just plates full of one bite eaten. Yeah. Because it's a buffet. That's why I gave way. It was like, oh, I'll have a hamburger.

I'm like, oh, pizza looks good. I'll get one slice of pizza. Like, oh, a whole thing of fries. and then it's like, oh, there's so many. Let me try a bite a beach. And just dumping plates of uneaten food that could feed their village. Yep.

And just smiling. Just like, whatever. The waste was intense. And I will say, man, the amount of like the Philippines going, hi, beautiful, take a picture over here, like this. And then you meet them in the crew bar and they're like these fucking fat pieces of shit. Really?

That makes me so happy. My favorite part was hearing them. talk about like the diamond members like the people who have been on so many cruises they get a lanyard that says they're like diamond medallion of delta whatever like but they have they wear it around as if they're like and you better not like you should know my complaints go further you know like this air of like you want to treat us better and they know that they go we have to treat those people great but we hate them more because of it all the hate for americans on the ships was i lived for it, dude. I was Canadian

until they got to know me. And they're saying cruise ship Americans. Yeah, that's 100 you're not seeing their best. I would defend, I go, you're not seeing the coasts at all. You're not seeing any of the big cities. You're seeing a lot of the people that are driving into Galveston, Texas, to take this cruise. I got a fight with this

Uruguayan guy, shout out Hieronimo, and he was like, he was getting like Che Guevard up without having read his works and stuff. Like, why the American interventionism is like, they don't know how lucky they have. All these people like, you think any of us can afford to like travel for a year like this Israeli guy this American guy. And I'm like, yeah,

but dude, you're only meeting the guys that can afford to do that. Yeah. Who saved up. Yeah. But like, you're not meeting any of the ones who can't pay their rent. That's a lot of them too. Yeah. So it's like you're meeting a subset of people. Fat cruise ship people. That's your only show of America. Yes.

You would hate it. They're, yeah. You were Canadian? You just said you were Canadian. Oh, yeah. Until like in the beginning, I would say I'm Canadian. And then there'd be another fun reveal. I'm actually from New York. I just, I don't know if you guys, how you guys felt yet, you know? I was a bit. It's like the reveal in college when you give the bouncer, the bar you've been going to, your real ID for the first time. And he's like, huh. And he's like, your name's not Jeff R. Curry.

Tom Smith. And you're like, no. You're like, motherfucker. I've known you for two years as Tom Smith. Yeah. Like, well, those days are over, buddy. There was a lot of, uh, um, racism too, for black comics versus white. What do you mean? In the two years I was on cruise ships, they told me that there's possibility of drug test. Okay. I got drug test once. Every comic I talked to, they're like, every contract.

Every what? Every contract. Black comics. Once a week. Like, I asked every black comic I were, it's like Mike E. Winfield. Oh. I mean, him did a ship together.

And he joined in halfway through my two weeks. So he was like, I was already on board. And if we had good sets, like, he was a fun hang. We'd go to the nightclub and the thing and drink separately, but like watch the drunk people. sunburnt trying to dance

and he was getting attention it's so bad at dancing let loose for the first time in 20 years oh yeah oh still they still have sunglasses on their head and it's like 11 p.m. like it was fun to watch and

uh... That's the Tampa special where you go you just have them here oh yeah dude hell yeah except those are not reflective oh yeah that's right that's right

sorry Tampa I'll get reflective on the next time they would uh yeah we remember we were having a drink after the first, and I'd already been going to that nightclub every night, having a drink as a ritual, watching the people dance and then leaving. And he was like, I'll go with you, we'll hang out. Halfway through his first rant, like, you can't be in here. And he's like, oh, I'm a comedian. He goes, you can't be in here. And I go, well, I'm a comedian too. And he goes, all right,

then you can't be here too. And I'm like, I've been here every night and I have no problem. He goes, you just do two out. And so he was like, man, they're just fans. They want to take pictures, you know, because people were taking pictures in the nightclub. And he's, I don't care out. So he's like, just so you know, like he didn't let this go. And I, fucking. and love this. Who didn't let go, Mike? Mike, he's like, just so you know, we are allowed to do this.

I'm going to just make sure you get in a little bit of trouble for making me feel like less of a person. Like he just kind of like was telling this guy like very articulately like, this sucks. Yeah. And then he goes, and this is what we're going to do now. He goes, I have a lot of fans in there that want to take pictures. And I'm sure he's got some people want to take pictures.

So let's do this. And he grabbed two chairs and we went to the front of the nightclub and sat in two chairs facing the entrance and just chilled there with our drinks and sat. And as people came out, he got up and took pictures with each of them right in front of the security guy that kicked him out. And the whole time, the security guys was looking around. Because he'll never go, sorry, man. Sorry, I was in a bad mood. Not at all. Obviously can come in. I don't know. I just said

something. That's what spawned me going, have you been drug testing? He's like, every time. I just had my first one last, yesterday. And I was like, that's crazy. I got it done once. And I was nervous, I was high. And if they find weed in your system, you're out. Like, it's gone. But yeah, you can't smoke a week before you get there? No, if it's still in your system, you're technically, yeah. So, I'll be honest. Weed, of course you're going to smoke weed. A quiet place. Like, no one's there.

It's like, of course you're going on. I will say I did get, like, weed sober. From the beginning, I was like, I'm not going to risk it. This is more money than I've ever seen. So I just didn't smoke weed. I barely drank. And I was like, oh, the clarity. I'm going to read.

I'm going to write and all this stuff. And then I started doing, like, edibles in the Sour Patch Kids bag or like. And because you weren't worried about getting tested? No, it didn't happen yet. It had been a year. So I'm like, fuck it. And then within a few cruises, I was like, I took edibles, and then I was, they're like, we have testing.

So I'm, like, freaking out. I'm, like, chugging water and then pissing. And then going down there and being like, I don't know what to do. Like, I can't pee. I'm just, you know, I can't pee. I think I goes, just sit here and chill. And then I could tell he was like an Indian doctor guy, or it was like one of the staff.

He already knows this guy's on drugs. Yes. And he could tell. There's no, like, in my job, meaning I'm a drug tester. If you have any excuse. Yeah. Like, you're hiding. Who's going to be the guy's like.

Could you be hiding? drug use yeah and so he remember he i sat there probably for the 30 minutes he goes we got to get this like we got to get this done i was like all right man i'm just you know i'm just nervous pier you know and he was very obvious that i was hiding it he goes like this he tests normally when he tested he dips it in and then they hold it they put it down they read they wait like 30 seconds like okay you're good to go then i'd have you leave he goes like this he goes you're good and then throws it away like it didn't even a lot of time to dry and like to restore the results and i was like thank you so fucking much dude bought him a drink at the the crew bar after

That was the easiest. I was the fucking the coolest guy. I'd spent $8 and everyone's like, this guy rules. It's like, you're drinking on me tonight. You remember the Wizzinator? No. There was a guy from, where are you from?

Michigan. I grew up in New York. Okay. Yeah, yeah. This guy played for the Vikings. You got caught weed, which at least the NBA collective bargaining agreement said, you can't test us for weed.

You can test for anything else because they're like, we smoke weed. If you catch us smoking, that's different. Sure. I guess, but like none of us care. It's just weed. Now it's legal, so it doesn't matter. But like, so this guy on the Minnesota Vikings got one of these things to keep in your pocket to fake a drug test because he smoked so much.

Oh. And he got called the Wizzinator. It's this thing. And the guy used to come to Fat Tuesday at the comedy store. And we talked to him and stuff. He was a fun guy. He was like an offensive lineman or something. And we're like, so they caught him.

They banned him for like a year. Sure. Because like you're cheating a drug test. It could also be cheating steroids, which is worse for them. And also, as a blend of him. blanketed things. Some places need drug tests. Like if you're doing heavy machinery and you're...

Yeah, right. Yeah. I know, dude, I can't have you on anything? But anyway, so we're like, can you smoke weed now? And he goes, no. I'm like, what about the off season? He goes, bro, my career is over. If I smoke weed and get caught, it's the day I retire, I will be smoking weed.

But now, at this point, there's too much to lose. Yeah. Because he got banned for a year. He's like, you're done if you get caught again. Oh, yeah. The Wizzinator. Who was the guy? Find out who the guy was in the Vikings.

I think it was the Vikings. That's, because it's like a thing. where you, yeah, because that's why they have to do this thing where, like, you have to empty your pockets and then they watch you pee or something? Ontario Smith, yep, yeah. He's dried synthetic urine. Wow, Ontario Smith. He was so cool.

Viking, I got my memory right. Nice. Consistent of fake prosthetic. No correction on that one, huh, Jorge? Oh, yeah. Yeah, see how you squirt it out there and they keep it at a certain temperature because you can't have cold urine. They're like, why should you urine cold, dude?

I like to think. They used his model, and he's like, these men are all wearing my dick now. Otherwise, he's just doing it from memory. He's making a little prosthetic dick, or he's got to have a model. He claimed the device was for his cousin. Smart. Year long suspension. Wow, man, my memory really hit well there.

Did they do, do they have multiple races for the penises? Yeah, maybe they should, because you can't pull out a tiny white dick. It'd have to be to scale also. I can. They had a few different ones when I looked on the Google. images. What? They had a few different colors.

I looked in Google. Yeah, let's see it. Oh, yeah. Let's see the listeners. A few different colors. Forgive me for my ignorance, but... Isn't there two? Is that like Band-Aids?

Oh, yeah. Wow, look at those. Oh, they're all uncircumcised. Oh, there are some circumcised. Yo. Hello, sharks. And so you squeeze the base and it pours that out of a dick, so if they kind of see, wow, that's such a shiny black one.

That would have been sick on Shark Tank, dude. And we got each room for you. Kevin, I have one with a little shark head on it. There's tan, brown, black. Lewis has multicolored. If you've ever seen Lewis, it's like different colors. It'll be like the dark brown of the base and then the white and then the dark brown again. He has one of these?

He's never seen a dick like that. No, he has just a weird dick. Oh, just his normal peanuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why. I was thinking he got like an off-brand one or something, but you're just talking about his actual penis. It looks like that jar of sand,

you know, with colorful sand. Oh, sure. You know, what goes like different things. It looks like mountains and stuff. Yeah. That's only been a pleasant memory until now.

Now I'm gonna only, now any time I step into a Spencer's Gifts, I'm gonna think of, like, and Louis Goulda's dick. Dude, that thing of waiting outside, I did that to get into the cellar.

She was giving me, like, a spot a week when I got past here. I already had like a stand-up TV show on the air. Like, it wasn't even just a, like, CBS, like, daytime. It was like, man, I'm running a stand-up,

but she was like, So I'd wait outside She used to do the line And I would just be out there And have people in the line go Dude can I get a picture I'm like yeah sure man And have her go like

Who are you? I'm one of your regulars lady No shit But I didn't say anything She was just like And then it started Like all right You can get more spots I think

And does that not kind of Is that not kind of cool That the playing field Is semi level under her In her eye That it like I did a 1 AM show recently And Neil Brennan was on it

I was like What the fuck? Yeah I only do it five Netflix specials, and even he brought it up. He's like, tell her, you know. But he doesn't, he'll still do it. He's not going to cancel it.

But it's just one of those things where you take what you can get because it's still. Sam put his foot down. He was just like, hey, I'm tired. And I actually sell out massive theaters. Like, we should use me in the eights and nine. No shit. Yeah. I think I gotta get up for shit now.

Like, come on. That gave me anxiety thinking about saying that too. I would never. I remember, I just got my spots when I got my spots. I got a, the, the, the, the, the, the, Brassard put me in as a host. Yeah. That was what I was initially supposed to do.

And then Jordan and Caitlin had just gotten passed before me. And they're like, at some point she's, and I didn't get any host spots. She goes, at some point she's going to ask you to host. Practice saying no. Because you're not going to feel like saying no in the moment because it's esty. It's mommy. But just practice saying no. Yeah, be ready for it.

So I rehearsed it. I practiced it. And then one day we were all sitting at a table. And then she just walks in front of everyone. And goes, would you ever host? And all my practice. I just go, I'll do whatever you want me to do. Oh.

I said, and everyone was like, ew, dude. I'm like, yeah. That was worse than just saying yes. I know. I said, I said, um, she saw me host a show in Montreal, and it was my show. And I had to kick out a heckler, like, after one comic, it was like, oh, this guy's going to fuck it up for everybody.

So then I went back on, I was like, hey, dude, you got to get out of here. You're like, you can tell it's beyond whatever. I was also a door guy for a while. I was like, you got to go, you can't be here. I'm not bringing up. He's like, shut up, I'll be fine. I'm like, dude, I'm literally not going to continue the show. You've got to get out of here.

Esty was there. So she saw me handle it right, and then she started, like, making me host. But I'm like, a pretty bad host. I just ran a show. I just went up first and brought people on. And after some point, she goes, you don't like hosting, do you? I'm like, no, I see, I hate it. Yeah.

And I'm not good at it. And then it stopped. That's, I still got out of respect. She goes and sees the shows. Still freaks me out when I see that silhouette, dude. Did you have to get, tested for STDs before you went on the cruises. I used to fuck a gymnast who was on cruises.

And every time I was like... Interesting. No. I'm wondering because no. I've only been tested twice in my whole life, so... No, I'm kidding. I'd remember. No, I don't think I did.

I got... I, yeah, I hooked up with one person on a ship, I think. What this chick told me was like, all the performers, have to get tested because they can't let anybody on with like herpes or gonorrhea or the committee or anything because it's just going to spread to everybody because whoa so when i was like she was like you know the reconna'm i just got tested and it was like how do you she goes like i can constantly because because i mean just blind faith that you're good too it's always worked out

for me well i mean for her to be like no i'm tested so we're going to be fine tonight it's crazy it's a good point i'm like well i have not been tested i've been taking a lot of chances with sluts like you I'm taking a lot of word for it. It's a good point. It was, it was your career on me being honest? Yeah, right. I had a lady, she just like randomly,

like it was one of those things I was only for a couple weeks. And then she's like, are you going to make a move or not? I was like, yeah, I didn't even know I was supposed to. I was like, fuck yeah, dude. That's what it was all been about. And we hooked up and it was nice. It was fine.

And then the next day she left my cabin. And then I was walking around, cloud nine, like, feeling cool, cool, guy, you know? And then I didn't realize, until I went up to another couple that I had met, a singer, songwriter, a couple, and they pointed at my name tag, and they started laughing.

I just walk around with her name on my chest, just in line for breakfast. I met with the entertainment director. It looked like I was bragging, like, eh, look what I get. And then I walked up to her, and I go, yo, I go, we switched name tags. Did you wear mine today?

And she goes, no, I'm not retarded. I didn't see it. I know, me neither. I saw it was not my name, and I didn't wear it. What's wrong with you? I was like, dude, I didn't know. I'm not used to this.

Damn. What's your activities on the cruise? What is it about fat Americans who love cruises? Why is it such a look down on thing? Look down on it? And some people love it. I think some people love it because of the, like, you're treated like your...

The first time I got called Sir when I was 12 years old on Carnival Cruise. And I was like... Oh, you went on him as like, with your family. As a kid a couple of times. It was a first comedy show I went to. I wrote, I wrote who was it?

Joe, I don't remember, obviously. Yeah. You know, but I wrote jokes for the comedy show when I was a kid. Not wrote, but like I went into a book and got street jokes because I in my head, I'm like, what if he's struggling? And he goes, hey, kid. So I remember I went to every comedy show hoping they'd be like, hey kid. And I'd be like, I got a couple of things like this. And I remember, that's why I did the thing with the kids.

I tell that story and then I'm like, so I don't give you a chance to tell one joke and I pre-wrote them like, how do you make a tissue dance, put a bookie in it, like that type of stuff and the audience would lose their mind because there's a five-year-old saying it.

But yeah, I went on there as a kid. I liked the freedom of like, at the time I was like, this is an entire country. That's how big this boat is. It's really big, huh? You don't lose your kids. I think it's a lot of absentee parents.

They'll be fine there somewhere. A lot of the girls I met that worked with the kids were like our biggest issue is pickups. It's not drop-offs. Like, drop-offs, there's a round of parents

out the door at 7.30 a.m. And then it pickups at 6 p.m. There's like some people won't show up till 7. Like, oh, I forgot. And they're wasted, and they pick up their 3-year-old. It's a free daycare. They're all on the same ship. They can get wasted, not have to drive anywhere.

There's an American feel. Let's go to Mexico, but in America. Oh, that's another thing we got to talk about. The stops. Yeah. So the one I went on, it was like something. They're like, this doesn't issue. It's Mexico, I guess.

But like, so you go for three days to get to it. You're there for a few hours. You go three days back. But they're like, it's, I think it's not owned by Mexico. It's like owned by the cruise ships. Yeah, they own ports. Yeah. And so they're building, to me, if you went deeper, we want some staff, like, let's get out of here.

We'll go like an hour from here where it's actually a nice beach. Yeah. But they go, it looks like what Mexico. Mexicans think Americans think Mexico is. So they're building it to form. It's sombreros right out the gate. Like, get your Viagra, sombreros, and then Toby Keith Sparangreau. Like, that's within 30 minutes of every cruise port was just more America, but within a Mexican sun.

Wow. It was mostly just that. Get your Viagra's. It was a lot of that. A lot of Viagra's, coding is because it was illegal over the counter in a lot of, in Mexico and stuff. So people get coding. And everywhere in Southeast Asia, they're like, if you see a cruise ship in the port, don't buy any drugs. The price is tripled.

Oh, yeah. Like. So wait until they're gone and then it goes down to normal. Buying weed, things like that. Like, people would, like, people would stupid because they scan everything when they come in. They have drug dogs and shit. Like, people would come back with stuff and then they'd just compensate it or just throw it away, a lot of the stuff. We had, like, a fuck, a couple.

Did you ever go anywhere cool? Like, they let you off in, like, the Bahamas or anything, like, fun? Yeah, early on, there was a couple moments where I was like, this could be sick. They dropped me off in Turks and Caicos because there was a, something happened where someone had to leave the ship. So they're like, hey, fallout. And I was on that shit. In 2019, when I started, I was like scouring the emails every day for any fallouts because they'd be like, fallout. I need someone in Costa Rica tomorrow.

And I'd be like, yes. You'd fly there? So, yeah, it was one of the examples. I flew to Costa Rica, landed. And then it was like me and some singers and an engineer. and this van. And they're like, all right, we're all getting in this van. I go, everyone get the long seats.

They go, the long seats get dibs now, like the long seats, like the benches. Okay. And I was like, that's fine. You guys take them. I go, I'll just sit on a stand-up seat. Six-hour drive through Costa Rica. Like 7 a.m. after a six-hour flight. And I was like, oh, that's why they wanted to everyone to lay down and passed out.

And I was just sitting in this, just like leaves flying by my head for six hours. I remember that being a nightmare. And then getting on the ship and then just, being like, it's sick though. I got to fly to Costa Rica. I had another one where they landed, they flew me to Turks and Caicos, and they said the ship,

there's a fallout, whatever it is, but the ship won't be here for three days. So I stayed with the per diem in a hotel where I was the only guest in this hotel is me, the guest manager who was also the bartender and my laptop, no internet, no nothing. So I would just go down there and write, and then she'd go from the desk to the bar

and then just chat with me and hang out for three days. It was like, so sick. It was so fun. It was, I genuinely like, was so happy. My room opened it up and it was just the water was right there.

I was so close to it and I'm like, this could be really cool. And then you get on the ship and it's just like, all right, we're doing the conga line, you know?

And it's a lot of that. The forced happiness would kill me. The post pandemic, we weren't allowed to leave the ship because they did COVID rapid tests and stuff. So post pandemic,

I had to stay on the ship for six weeks straight, not getting off. Whoa. But the customers could. But you can't be responsible for it. It happening. No.

Like I, yeah, I just had to stay on the ship and watch from the top. That would drive me fucking nuts. It was losing my mind, dude. That was the worst. Post-pendemic ships was when I got into the cellars, thank God. But that's when I was like, this isn't fun anymore. Because you had to stay in your room unless you just had to eat. Couldn't even have a balcony or anything?

No balcony. Could you work your way up to a balcony? Like, if you've been there for 10, 15 years, would you be like, you got seniority? Not for Carnival. I did a celebrity cruise one time. I was getting, it's actually funny. I was getting off a ship on Carnival. they call me as we're getting to port

they go hey listen there's a fallout a celebrity cruise line needs a comic literally like in two hours you need to get bored this other ship it pays triple

but you need to do two shows a night 45 minutes each and it's a higher quality dress code like I have to wear khakis and polos and I go fuck it

for 4,500 bucks whatever it was six grand I go great so I run off the ship I throw my clothes away because it's all t-shirts and shit

I go to the store I buy all brand new like polos and pants I'm boarding, as I'm boarding the ship, I have video of it. It's just pasties, thongs, half-naked everybody. And I go, what the fuck? It was a booze, like a EDM cruise where they rented out the cruise. And it was like all these high-end EDM people.

And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Everyone's naked. I'm carrying a suitcase of a brand-new polos. I get on. And the guy was like, all right, so they didn't tell you what this was? And I was like, no. He's like sweating frantically. And he's holding this.

He goes, this is an EDM cruise. He goes, there's not really any comedy. I don't know to tell you. And I was like, well, what am I doing? What are you doing there? We're going to find a show time for you. I'll have to get back to you, though. It won't be for a few days.

Just enjoy yourself, man. Here's a room number. It gave me a balcony, or sorry, a window, king bed, my own little living room area. And then for the next seven days, I did one show on the fifth day at nine o'clock for like 20 people. You get paid every day regardless. I got paid the same amount.

And I just, I bought a drink package. I was like, fuck it. And then I met people and hung out. They were doing mushrooms and acid and all this shit. And like, it was the most I partied. Yeah. But like after three days, I wanted to kill myself. Because imagine being hung over on an EDM cruise.

And it's, it's 11 a.m. And the breakfast area is like, bumsim, boonson, boonson. Like, it was, it was nasty. I couldn't sleep because of the base the whole time. After it was fun, it was not fun. But while it was fun, I was like, I'm living the life, dude. This is so sick. Yeah, but that cruise, they're like,

don't wear a name tag, you can go wherever you want. Do whatever you want. Come here, buddy. You want up? Nope, okay. All right. I'm trying to think there's anything else I'm missing, too, of story-wise. It's a cool.

Would you do it now as like a customer? I'm going on a cruise in two weeks. Oh, that's right. I'm doing an Alaskan cruise. That's about nature. And it's more expensive. Like, I got, like, it's like a, it's like a, it would be elderly people.

They're not going to have a conga line. They're not going to have, you know, silent disco. Yeah. On the top deck. Why is there's such a stigma on cruises? There is. It's like you're traveling, but you're doing the lamest possible way.

Like you're not even leaving your... You take the whole hotel with you pretty much. It's comfort. It's 100% like... And also find a cheaper way to get a family of five to Mexico. But you're not really going to Mexico. They don't care. At least on the love boat. It was like, now we're going to Porto Vallarta, I think.

There's a lot of Port-Aa-A-A-A-A-A-Tor a few times. But you hang there for, like, at least for an adventure. Yeah. I don't know. Five hours max, six hours max. Some cruises will do an overnight, like in the port for some of them, where you get to go and stay in a hotel if you want or go out there and do that. This is a rare.

But those exist. There are better ones. I think there's like a resurgence with cruises right now because of the economy. It's like a cheaper vacation. Yeah, I met a guy and he was like, you know how people at gamble? It's all about points and, like, you got to get your car at this place. It does better buyback. in this place, they did it with that with like packages.

Like, bro, get the packages, and you can drink crazy. And it ends up being way cheaper than if you buy each drink. And you're like, okay, you can just, I mean, don't, obviously don't stay home and just go to a bar. But like, no, you shouldn't be looking forward to a cruise. Are there like water slides and shit? You've been on those? Yeah. You can do water slides.

There's like the obstacle course off the side of the boat above it where they tie you in and stuff, but it is trippy looking down and just seeing ocean. there's usually the basketball courts there's like the outdoor gyms like there is shit that if I were to complain about doing cruises I'd be so fucking privileged and out of touch if to be like yeah

all I had all the internet wasn't even that good and the basketball court was kind of full like I had nothing to do all day except read in the free library they had that was always empty dude I would steal half my books are stolen from the library because they're like it says carnival

property of carnival and I just pull the sticker off and I'm like cool guess I got another book. Damn. Okay, so I ask everybody this at the end of the pods, but it's two things. There's no right answer on these,

but like what's a country or a place you want to go? It's like calling you. It's not going to be your number one place, but something was like, I want to go there. And then two, if you have any travel tips, are they specific to cruises

or anything or just general? Okay, cool. I would say travel-wise, I definitely want to go to Africa in some point, I think. I think. Why? I just want to see the animals, the sickest animals in the world,

not in a cage. That's the only place I think you can see animals like that. Monroe did a, he went to Kenya and did like a safari. Really? Yeah, he was doing a show. And then they were like, hey, do you want to get you a free safari? And he's like, okay, so him and his chick went. There's an old episode of this podcast.

He talked about it. And the mornings in like Sahara and lions are kind of a round-jew. And then he was like, everybody was looking at him because like, it's this young black guy doing. We're 65 and saved up our lives for this. They were like, what are you, what are you doing for a living? Yeah. Like, it doesn't make sense. There's some 29 year old to be here.

Sure. And he goes, oh, they just got me this because they know me like, all right, that makes sense. You also need to have that in your soul to like want to go see something like that because Zagalo would never want that. He's like, ew. Right. Where's the shower? That's like my dad guy.

My dad's like a New Yorker, born and raised. But when he worked in the same. city. He got like, he switched from Fuji to Kodak, whatever for the company. And they're like, we're going to send you to Africa, all expense paid, your whole family. And he didn't want to go because he's like, I don't want to get the shots. And like, it's going to be hot. It's going to be bugs. So we took a cruise to Turks and Kekos. Or we went to Turks and Kekos instead. I remember being like, that would have been such a core memory for me as a kid. Going to Africa at 12. Oh my God. Yeah. Sing elephants in the wild. Yeah. I would love to do safari, see animals in the

wild, that type of thing. Um, because I don't know, I thought I'd do that in Australia. and then the guy, we drove an hour to go to a koala. They brought a koala sanctuary and they didn't even, they go, yeah, you get to pet the koalas, hold the koalas. I go, that'll be an experience. I'm in Australia, let's do it.

I go there and they're like, new policy. You cannot hold nor pet the koalas. What? You can only, and they bring you, wait in line, they hold the koala and then they let you with one finger touch the koala. And I go, this is fucking molestation.

I don't want to do this. I refuse. My friends are like, we waited, stimulated. I'm like, I'm not going to touch him. I'm just not going to, at a principle. I love it.

I'm not going to touch him with one finger. I paid $40 to touch a koala with one finger. Oh. On the outside. Yeah. You get it curved. That's a whole different thing. But then travel tip, damn.

Get TSA pre-checked, dude. That's not bad. It really does. I've not missed so many flights because of that. My buddy who's open for me for two years still doesn't have it. Drives me fucking nuts. Where he goes, I guess I'll just see you there. I guess you'll take you 12 minutes one day of your life.

And you're going to be done. Do it. It's done. TSA pre-check, the... It's a shakedown. It's like, why? I'm an American. I'm not doing it.

What the fuck is this? Yeah. But just pay the shakedown. Yeah. It's 80 bucks. It's better than clear. Yeah, it's 80 bucks, 100 bucks, whatever it is. Just pay the shakedown and make your life easier.

Do the TSA preject because pretty much every other country outside of the United States. Everyone has PSA preject. Because there's no, they're just like, just go ahead. Shoes on, belt on. I was in Iceland, and we took a, we took me and my friend Ari from Iceland, took a, flight to the north from the south, from Reykavik to the north to go see some, like, northern stuff. Yeah.

And he's like, I'm going to park the car, go in, whatever. And I was like, okay. And then I was like, hey, my ticket, like, what's your name? Like, Ari Shafir, like, oh, here's your ticket. And I was like, okay, you don't, do you see any idea or anything? Like, do you think there's another Ari Shafir that's going to show up thinking? And by the way, if that did happen, then you would show up And they'd be like, well, there's two of you.

Let's find out who it is. And I'm like, I don't know. You just have to, like, why? I'm like, and then you boarded. I'm like, my bags don't get checked. Like, checked for what? Yeah. Like, no one's trying to attack Iceland.

That blew my mind traveling. All of Europe. It was just so lax. Just go. Just here, fine. Yeah. What do I do with my water? Like, I don't know, what do you want to do with your water?

Yeah. What? He gave me mine. I remember I went through the water and he goes, hold on, and then he goes like this and gives it to me on the other side. Like, I think, or is that, was that in America? I don't know. Because is water allowed on planes in, like, whatever it was.

It was just way easier to do in Europe. I would say the TSA pre-check is huge. That's not bad. Yeah. You got to get some pre-check, but that's also very basic for a travel pod. Come on. Yeah. You know?

Let's think about it. I would, how about this? Here's one. Okay. Negate that one. Do a leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get pre-check.

Okay. I would say, whenever you travel somewhere, allow yourself a day of nothing. Boom. That's a great one. Because if you go in going, day one, we do this, day two, we do this, day three, we do this, day four we travel, you're going to fucking hate day three because you're not going to have a day where you didn't have anything planned. Yeah, and let's just be a little bored. Yes. And then you're like, but then you'll find something.

Yeah. Because you're like, oh, I'm bored. But then like an hour later, you're like, oh, we're doing something fun because your body will make you stop the boredom. Or you do nothing until 4 p.m. Then have a good dinner. Then you go, now tomorrow I'm hyped to go out and do some shit. I do think you need. That's just maybe me that I need, like, I need rest.

I get exhausted, like, quick with traveling and shit. If I go to a club weekend, Monday, Tuesday, I'm toast. I'm like, I don't want to do anything. Yeah, a day of nothing is really good. Day of nothing, one day of nothing, per country. No reservations. I just really get this out, like, this week. What?

Anthony Bourdain, the show, no reservations. It means, like, don't make reservations. I thought he meant don't hold back. That's what I assume. I think he meant, like, show up and then figure it out when you get there. Talk to people, say, what's cool here? He's just not a fan of the indigenous people of America. Maybe, no reservations.

Enough is enough, bro. Get your own home. All right, Jeff, congratulations on the special. That's fucking awesome. That's really cool. Thanks, man. Special for a comedian is like the best thing we do. And it only comes around once every few years at best.

So it's pretty fucking cool. Guys, everyone can check it on on Netflix right now. And then I'll do the bumper two. Your tour dates are all at jeffarcurry.com. Yes, sir. I'll do more later. Sweet. Thanks, buddy.

Congrats. Thank you, man. Well, there's the episode, everybody. I hope you enjoyed it. Jeff R. Curry, make sure to check out a special. Nice to meet you on Netflix right now. There's no way to comment on his special, but he's a killer. He's a New York City killer. He's a tough follow for sure. New York City is the number one city in stand-up comedy. Bar none. There's really no competition.

I have left that city because it was too hard to follow guys like Jeff R. Curry. Guys, you don't even know about. And they're just crushers all the time. And eventually Netflix gets to know about them. And they put on this special, nice to meet you. I'm having a blast out here in Jollyole. By the way, please subscribe wherever we're watching and listen to it. Man, the World Cup is alive out here. They really get into this. I don't know how it is in the states.

People are asking me, well, you're rooting for the states? And I'm like, I mean, I'm running for the Ecuador. I'm moving for the United States. You know, I'm pulling for both those teams. I spend a lot of time in each. So, of course, I have a soft spot in my heart for each of them. Brazil? I spent over a month there?

In January and February? What the project? All the bomb? Torre bon. That's all I know. I meet these guys. I was wearing my Fluminense jersey when Brazil does game days. So I wear my Nix jerseys on U.S. game days.

I wear my three lions jerseys when my home team, England, is playing. And I wear my Fluminense jersey when Brazil is playing. And I get the yellow. boys. I got thought, oh, yeah. And a lot of them don't know English. And I was like, oh, yeah, we're going. And it's like, they say something in their pigeon tongue. It sounds like someone punched them in the face and buried them in mud. That's what I say about Australian accent, too. But I'll be used it. But dude, everybody goes out for the three lions. Last game was sick. Last game was sick. I got this sick jersey so I could blend in. It's my home country.

Today's episode was recorded by... Oh, it was recorded by Jorge at Gas Digital. Everyone, shout out Jorge on the ones and twos on this. He's doing all the ones with the green screen. Well, Tyler did the green screen. And he helped with it, too. Any given Sunday. Given Sunday is a Native American name.

And Annie was his first, was his slave name. What they put on him because given Sunday was not allowed. The given Sundays was a tribe, Native American. Americans. So they each had the name given Sunday. And they, they had a better name. But, um, yeah, there was, his white captors named him many. So he helped. Tyler helped. And Jorge was on the ones and twos during the recording. All these ones with the, with the passports in the background. That's all, uh, Jorge at Gastigil. So shout out to him. Uh, but it was produced by your mom's house network and edited by Alan Caffey. Um, listened to by Niana Pellette. Pallet.

She's got a pallet for doofuses. I'm glad I'm in the bushes here, so people cannot see when I go by. Let's go. Jeff R. Curry. He has some tour days. By the way, please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening, guys. Hit the subscribe button right now. Hit the subscribe button right now.

Shows, Jeff R. Curry. Okay. And leave a comment for the algorithm. Also, I didn't get any correct guesses last week. I didn't get any correct guesses last week. who can name me, I got some close ones, who can name me the 24 teams in the World Cup countries that I've been to, 24 and only 24. If you guess them all right, unless we get somebody in last week's episodes' comments who get it,

then they get it first. But if you get it right, all 24, two free tickets to any show in 2027 or 2028. Or if you're in UK or somewhere I'm playing on a local show in 2026, you can have those as well. I got announcements coming where the trip around the world is coming. Now that I'm almost settled in my new place, I still got to find an apartment. I still got a let's a flat. I got to get all the lingo. Once I get that, I'll have time to go over. Guys, I'm lazy. I don't know if you know that. I'm not, I'm irresponsible and I'm lazy. And I went traveling for almost a year. My stuff's been in storage for almost a year. So I was close. There's a lot

to weed through, but I haven't forgotten it. And I'm getting back to it. U-B-Tripping Patreon. Not many people are on there, but you have paid for a trip around the world for a listener. And we're going to pick that and tell you about it in the next coming months. Also, somebody picked a U.B. Tripping sticker out at a hostel I put up in Guatemala. You get two free tickets to a show. It's coming next week, the week after. Jeff R. Curie's on the road.

You can check all this true dates out at jeffarcuri.com. By the way, I have a special as well. Jew. I have three specials on Netflix. Jew, they just put up. They did basically nothing for me. It's crazy. A few Jews saw it.

There was no other needle move at all. America's sweetheart, which I promoted crazy. That did well. You should watch that, especially in this time of anger and divisiveness. America's sweetheart is the special for you. If you feel like, why are we all these throats? What's the deal here? Why are we all arguing about inside comedy about this guy?

I got to report to this guy. How come this guy's saying this? Opt out. And if you need a method or why, watch America's Sweetheart. And then double negative. My first special there in 2017, which was when Netflix was the king. God, those days were fucking killer. But all three specials on Netflix right now, I also have two specials on YouTube.

I got Jew, which is my best special I've ever done, at YouTube.com slash R. fear go check it out leave a comment um jeff and then um what i have i had my comedy central one no i before that passive aggressive it's on there as well um jeffercurry jeffercurry dot com playing at the great outdoors comedy forget to watch a special obviously um nice to meet you on netflix right now july 18th he's at the great outdoors comedy festival winnipeg then the then edmonton calgary Oh, it's a whole tour. Vancouver, Mississauga, and then he's touring. Oh, these are sold out.

Fort Wayne, Indiana, Oxnard, Stanford, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, New Brunswick, Sacramento, Huntsville, Alabama, Comedy Works, the greatest club in the world. San Diego. Damn, look at these fucking arenas, theaters he's doing. The Masonic. Two shows of the Masonic all sold out out of the third in San Francisco. Portland Seattle

Victoria BC Nice bro Salt Lake City Las Vegas Cleveland These are mostly theaters now Cleveland Saginaw This is getting to next year

Indianapolis St. Louis Cedar Rapids Minneapolis Madison and Des Moines and then I'm not going into March of next year Kansas City, Wichita, Tulsa, San Antonio so that's it

I'm going to tell you about the one cruise I ever went on I don't think we covered it in here It was the impractical Joker's crews by Salvo Kano, and he rigged it. He rigged it. He realized, I think I went on season two or three, and season one, he was like, let's have some comedy on there. And the other guys were like, is this a prank? And he goes, no, guys, I don't prank in every moment.

It's not like that. And he goes, are you sure it's not a prank? And he goes, it's not a prank. I just want to think some stand-up comics should be on that. And so he had one or two. Then he realized what to do wrong. He goes, let me invite a bunch of stand-up comics, and that's what he did. me beckione norman samaril burkrechristner um excuse me bort um

prichrishna have you guys gotten the end yet have you watched the end did you love it i did it if you want to get it the end is at ari shapir dot com right now along with my zero tour dates all i get settled in this new country i'll tour in 2027 um yeah board Krishna was on there. Damn, who else? Yamonika. I think maybe Adrian? No ways.

Before we were friends, if so. Could be, I don't know. That's who I remember. That's who I remember, because I gained 17 pounds in seven days. It's non-stop food. It took me three months to lose that weight. You know what people are doing now?

This is my general. You know, I've got to get back to these, like, whatever it's called. You know, stream of consciousness. Fuck it. Oh, no, I don't have me. I wanted to roll one. People are getting on the jab for like, that's what they call it, on the jab,

for like two weeks, losing weight and then getting back off the jab. You know, when I gain an extra 10, 15 pounds, I'm like, oh, shoot, I got to go to Whole Foods, I got to start getting salads. It takes me about a week or two to actually go start doing it. And then the first time I'll try and I'll have like salads for like three days. I'm like, oh, good, so I can have a swarmer now. and then I get a swarma and then I'm like and then I get another one another one I'm like I'm like I'm right back

I lost all the uh uh uh uh uh you know and then it takes another like month and then you finally start getting the sales maybe sometimes two months and then eventually like all right I'll lose those 15 pounds in like three weeks really once I get focused on only salads for like three weeks and only lean meats and stuff like that just getting salmon and the packets eating that alone only eggs you know No carbs, no carbs, no carbs. And then I go back to eating normally, which is not a diet.

I'm not a fatty. I'm not one of those disgusting fat people. No, I just gained some pounds sometimes. As with the family for the holidays, on a cruise, you know, I gained 10, 15. I'm not 50 pounds overweight. I'm not fucking Bort, Borg, excuse me. So I just got to get back and then use my normal standard, which is like pizza twice a week. You know, salads four times.

week, lunches, and then eat whatever. Eat whatever. I have pretty good metabolism, but I get back to it. So you get in the jab for like a couple weeks. And then it takes away your cravings. You can't. You just fucking toss your food around. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway, I got to do that. I should have done that then. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. But every time I'll be like past like two of the guys, I think we had 15 comics on board. And you'd pass three comics. And they're like, you want to go eat? I'm eating.

I'm like, no, I just ate like two hours ago. Because it's buffet. You can eat whenever you want. And they go, okay. And they're like, well, I mean, I'll sit with you. And then as you're sitting there, like, it's been two hours. Like, well, I'll have some fries. And you go up and get some fries.

And then you're like, I'll pass a fucking pizza just came out of the oven. I'll have a slice. Well, I don't know if I'll have pepperoni or cheese. I'll just get one of each. Nibble on each. You can throw it away. The Filipino guys are going to throw it away with a smile, thinking about their villagers that are starving to death.

And then you're like, oh, shoot, there's some cakes. You have one of each of those. And now you've had, I pretty much had six meals a day, six full meals a day. It's seen 17 pounds in seven days. It was disgusting. It was coming right off sober October, too. So all the gains I made for drinking free, me and Bert Kreischer, it was Halloween night. It started November 1st.

We were in New Orleans, Halloween night, October 31st. We broke our sobriety. Oh, it was a great memory. That whole trip was great. Broke our sobriety, went down to Bourbon Street, did it the Burtway. Dude, if you're in a drinking scenario, you want to be with Bert. He knows how to do it. He knows how to enter into situations.

He knows how to turn you up. So, like, DeRosa, I love him. He's a pig, but I love him. He'll go, let's have shots. And that's not it. That's not it. I've come with a new way. If you want people to do shots, it's not like, listen, if you're all on board,

if you're like as you get any like shots and if you know your crew that's fine but if you don't you go shots it's like well that's going to make somebody throw up they're barely on you've been drinking for a while doris is a late shot guy i'm an early shot guy get started with one shot in a beer my new thing is hey can you turn it up 10% hey can you finish what's in that beer and order another one i notice you have a third left pound that let's get another one that's it just turn it up 10% whatever your 10% is get there none of us a tolerance of bored or Dorosa. So Bert will get you just going without saying turn it up 10%.

He vibes that. The way everything everywhere all at once espouses the views of Montan Luther King and Buddhism, Bert espouses the views of can you turn it up 10%. And you can, and he gets you there. It's one of the best guys in the world to drink with him that way. And he'll go into like, let's go into this place. It looks cool. And they'll be doing like frozen drinks.

And you'll be like, yeah, sure, dude. He'll just get you there. So him on Bourbon Street to break our sobriety, dude, great. It was great. It was great. And then we finished the whole cruise. We went to a New Orleans Saints game. Got back on Sunday, went straight to a Saints game.

Bert fell out. We both bought jerseys. Pardon me. Where you take? Bert bought two jerseys and gave me one. I gave mine to a New Orleans Saints fan later. Bert fell asleep during the game. Fair enough.

He was drinking hard on the cruise. And then we left in like the, the third quarter. Anyway, go three lions, everybody. So that cruise was fun. I gained a lot of weight. I would never go on another one. That was the best case scenario.

We had 15, 16 other friends doing club shows, doing 10, 15-minute sets of people who knew what stand-up comedy was. So the working was never going to be better and the hang was never going to be better. We played basketball. Guys, I'm filming a fucking bumper. And I would never go on one again.

I wouldn't go as a customer. I wouldn't go as an employee. I mean, it would have to be like the Billy Strings. Cruise. Even then, no, I'll just go to a show. By the way, Billy Strings, new album coming out. Okay, I'm going to continue this. One new thing to watch every week.

Watch or take it. Oh. Billy, you're next week. I'm sorry. No offense. I haven't heard the whole album. I heard the first song. Solid, really good.

I haven't heard the whole album And I heard it while I was taking a dump So it wasn't a fair I was taking a dump and scrolling But it was really good But I haven't given a fair listen Next week I'll have listened to the whole album

I think if it's out yet Also if you're in London Come do my podcast Or if you can't do my podcast Come relapse with me I won't do meth Unless you're doing meth Don't, okay

By the way Don't do hard drugs With someone who is relapsing because they don't know their tolerance and they definitely don't know your tolerance. If you want to do hard drugs, do it with someone who's just starting like you, which is probably not the best way,

or someone who's in the game for a while and you can talk to before they're on the drugs saying, hey, so I've never done it. Can you start me off slowly? And they'd be like, sure, because they want to get you going. They want to have a partner. They're embarrassed of what they're doing.

The real Coke fiends, the real meth heads, they're embarrassed of what they're doing. So they want to have you as a partner. So they're going to get you. If you talk to them before they're fucked, they'll get you slowly. Dude, just get me the first one. I could become a real partner for you, but you've got to, like, get me in. That's who you do it with.

Don't relapse. That's how you, Philip Seymour Hoffman. They don't know that the new stuff is better. Anyway, Billy, next week, hopefully, if the album's out. But this week, obsession. Woo! Best movie I've seen in a long time. Best movie I've seen in a long time.

Backrooms was last week, and the Lilley Album album would always. but obsession. I'll say nothing more. I'll say nothing more. And when I give you advice and stuff of what to watch, definitely don't watch a preview to fucking back up. Should I watch or not? That's just ruining the surprises for yourself.

I knew nothing. Going like me. Obsession. That's my pick. It's in theaters. Who doesn't love a movie theater? Anyway, I get no points on that. But the guys who made obsession,

if you want to send me $100, that would be cool. And if you guys watching on YouTube, while you're leaving a comment, also would be cool. Or go watch my special Jew on YouTube. Send five bucks there because that's the one that I was really out of pocket on. That's the one that cost me everything. It's half broken even.

We did it, everybody. As long as I can break even on projects, I'm in. The end also made our money back. And then, you know, a lot more. Go get the end right now at Rishafir.com. Go get one episode if you haven't seen it yet. Start with whichever one you want. I'll tell you the best.

It's not the best ones. It's supposed to you prefer, really. my two episodes I'm on, episode one with Column Tiro and Tom Segura, episode four or five, with me, Duncan Trussell and Mark Norman. And I'm on episode four as well at the end with Roy Wood with a bonus story. Okay, I think that's it. I forget what else I would have to say. That's it.

Subscribe where we're watching and listen. Guys, next week's episode, I have not picked. out yet. Could be Hamilton Morris. Could do one of the last ones I have on Israel. I have another one coming that I'm trying to get done on Gaza. It's tough because everyone who wants to do Israel wants to weigh in politically, but I'm like, unless you're part of the politics there, you can't weigh on what's happening now. I want to hear what was happening when you were there. So like I read a story by a guest I had on my old podcast about being in Ecuador when there was a revolution breaking out. And okay, great, that's what I want to hear. But I don't want to hear from

me now about what's happening Ecuador now with the gangs or Naboa, the new leader. I don't know. It wasn't there for Naboa. You know? But if I was there, I'll tell you about the election that was there, it was happening when I was there, where they did a recount. Okay, so they do a runoff. They have like 17 parties, and they do an election, and then top two parties to face each other. So you would think, well, if one guy gets 40%, the next best gets 20% and all the other split up, the guy 40% win, but it's not like that because the guy who gets 20%, all the guys who gets 2, 4, 5%, sometimes they're pretty close to them. You know, like if you had a runoff between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, let's say,

and Hillary won, the Bernie Sanders people would eventually go over to Hillary, right? Most. Some might jump over to the ones who were like, oh, I want an outsider. want someone who's embezzling our money and doing all this stuff and line. So maybe an outsider. Some of those would go to Trump, but a lot probably would go to Hillary Clinton. So they had that. So they had the top two.

And this indigenous guy from I think group of seven or 17, I forget, long hair, phony. He didn't have a long hair before, but he's playing the game, whatever. He got the second. But then they were like, well, it's too close. We've got to have a recount. Then the recount happens. Oh, guess what? The businessman, he's now in second.

And the guy at first, by the way, was he was part of the old crew. So it was a guy who was a leader. This is crazy. There was a guy who said, see, I can't comment what's happening now. I can comment what's happening then. There was a guy who was a leader. This is what they told me when I was there. So this is commenting on before.

But this is what they told me. He had been ostracized. He had been sent out. And he was a Neo-Lib, which I don't fully understand. But he had been kicked out. I think he was living in Belgium with his wife. He would be arrested if he set foot in Ecuador. He rebuilt all the moly cones, all the boardwalks.

He canceled all debt. He said, we're not doing business with America, which I understand. I agree with. He was like, we can't sell our own corn if they're being funded by their government for their corn. How are we going to compete? And their corn is like these big fucking colonels, not in a straight line. They're all fucking janky and shit. And he goes, fuck off.

You're going to undercut us for our corn. You're going to hurt our people. I get that. That makes sense. America didn't like that at all. Anyway, so they overthrew him, which they overthrow people all the time. That wasn't a big deal. And they sent him out.

So this guy running was like, if I win, he said, I'm running with this guy. Not Maduro. Fuck. I forget his name. The NeoLib, as my vice president. It wasn't even in the country. He's under arrest orders if he set foot in the country. And he goes, that guy is my vice president.

As soon as I win, I will pardon him. And then I will step down and let him take over the presidency. So a lot of people want him the old ways. Neo-Lib and Neo-Con, I don't know how they link up. But I think it's like, I think it's kind of like the super, the super liberal and the super conservative meetup on don't hit me with a COVID vaccine. You know, one is like, you're not putting that shit in my body's going to turn me gay. The other is you're not putting that shit in my body. going to give me autism. I don't need deodorant. I can use lemons. So anyway, so the businessman

came in third. Then they did a recount in the businessman's district, the capital of Waiakil. I've got to put this down for a second. Nope, they're not looking. And he was on the board of the recount commission. Anyway, so then he came in second, big uproar. They said we're going to sue them. and then eventually the recount commission said, actually we don't have a case. The businessman's recount. He ran a lot like Trump where he's convinced the poor people. This is what they said.

This is what they told me. I don't really understand this stuff. They convinced the poor people that he's in it for you. And I was like, is he? And everybody I talked to at like scuba diving stuff. He's like, no, he just makes them believe it. This guy. The businessman.

Anyway, businessman won. He's been ousted. Don't worry about that. So he won the runoff. He got second. and then he beat the fucking O'Neilib, and then that was it. So anyway, the point is, we have an Israel episode coming. I made the guy not talk about politics.

He would have been on the side of Israel. This was always right kind of vibe. That's the other side. This was always wrong kind of side. Nobody's really talking, so I stay out of the politics unless you were actually there during something. You know, if you were at that festival, that'd be a good one.

But obviously, you'd be able to comment. But I wouldn't be like what led to this. I do have, with that in mind, a Gaza episode coming with someone who has been there over the years and probably will get political during that. But we'll handle it in the right way, in a loving manner. Anyway, I think that's it. So I don't know what episodes next week. But if you subscribe, you'll find out when it airs. Maybe Hamilton Morris on Gabon.

South Africa, two countries. It was a good episode. All right, guys, that's it. Thank you for tuning in. I really appreciate it. I think I feel like there's something else to say, but I don't really know what it is, so instead I'll just say,

Go, England, my home country. Right? Yes, there it is. Bye.