You Be Trippin' - France w/ Sam Tallent | You Be Trippin with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Follow Sam on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/samtallent/?hl=en SPONSORS: -Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @‌MUDWTR with code TRIPPIN at https://mudwtr.com/TRIPPIN ...! #mudwtrpod -Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/trippin , all lowercase. Check out Sam’s show Wide World on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@samtallent and be sure to pick up a copy of his book Running the Light: A Novel wherever books are sold. On this episode of You Be Trippin, Sam Talent smokes hash in a church and poops in the waters of France. On the show, he talks about traveling around outside of Paris with his attractive wife, who gets stared at by teenagers on a nude beach. He and Ari also discuss architecture, sardines, booze, Camus, and embracing being a tourist. Other topics include: the Baha’i faith, aquatic sports, French politics, Tim Dillon, and the fact that Australians go the hardest. Escargot! You Be Trippin' Ep. 059 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:09 - Traveling as a Comedian 00:02:47 - France 00:05:37 - Australians 00:08:46 - Traveling Around France, Baha'i, & Smoking Hash in a Church 00:18:40 - Nude Beaches, Wide World, & Tax Deductions 00:23:34 - Just Going, Novelty, & The Gundam in Japan 00:33:42 - Hanging Locally, Store Owners, & Globes 00:39:07 - Food & Pooping in the Water 00:44:13 - Tattoos, Surfing, Jousting, Cocktail Hour, Canals, & Rattails 00:49:22 - Traveling with Your Girl 00:54:28 - The French Outside of Paris, Tourist Stuff, & Speaking the Language 00:58:09 - Seeing Sunrises, Architecture, & Seeing America Through New Eyes 01:03:33 - An Island & Booze 01:08:57 - Bus Tours & Embracing Being a Tourist, & Hanging With Strangers 01:17:03 - Where Next 01:23:00 - Travel Tips 01:27:50 - Wrapping Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:32 The setting might be off. It looks pretty fat. It looks obese for some reason. Yeah, I think it's stretched out. But it looks like it's trying. Just in the foreground though, not the background seems right. it looks like it's trying. Just in the foreground though, not the background seems right. Yeah. It looks like it's trying.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Ha ha ha ha ha. Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show. Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today. It's UB Trippin'. Yeah. Hello, everybody. Welcome to UB Trippin'.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Wait, I try not to do an announcer voice. Hello, everybody. Welcome to You Be Trippin' Wait, I try not to do an announcer voice. Hello everybody, welcome to You Be Trippin'. Nah, that's too dark. Wanna try it? Yeah. Hello everyone, welcome back to your favorite podcast, You Be Trippin'. NPR.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Yeah, yeah, they have a voice. I like the NPR voice, like the new kids doing on like a Sunday late night and they're just trying to mimic the NPR. Yeah, but there's too much vocal fry. Yeah. Welcome. They sound like Adam Friedland. Yeah, always. Yeah. Uh, it's the only podcast that staunchly stands against meow meow. Um, today, uh, I'm fucking proud to have, uh, excited Sam talent. I've been trying to get you on forever. Yeah, dude. You're one of the
Starting point is 00:01:42 people I needed on here. I love this pod. It's really cool to be here. Thanks. Yeah, thank you. You're one of the true travelers among stand-ups. I'm getting out there, man. How many are there? Real people are like, the more and more, but probably 15 maybe. I don't know. Well, the cool thing about you is you take time off.
Starting point is 00:01:57 I remember at Skankfest, I was like, hey man, how do you tell your agents to limit your dates? And you were like, you just tell them. Yeah. I was like, what? They're not going to be happy. Yeah, you say, I'm working 26 weekends this year. I was like, you can, what? And you're like, yeah, you say I'm working 26 weekends this year. I was like, you can do that.
Starting point is 00:02:07 And you're like, yeah. They're not going to be happy about it, but they will eventually listen. Yeah. They're finally making money off me and now I'm going to be like six weeks in France. Yeah. That'll just hit you with like, we got to do this gig in the south of like nowhere near where you're staying.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Yeah. Fine. Put me on a train. Yeah. I'll go make some untaxed euro. Yeah. You're one of your Jews will be like, niece is nice. Dude, niece is nice. Have you been there? I've been there three times. I went there with Tim Dillon this last time in April and got like the decadent homosexual niece and it was awesome. Wow. Yeah. That's a specific, dude, when I tell
Starting point is 00:02:39 people about this product, like, have you already done that country? I'm like, listen, my version of Paris would be way different than like Tim Dillon's eating and, and, and just smoking in the fanciest hotel rooms. Tim I've been to so many, like the best hotels in London, like the number one hotel in like the world is allegedly in London and Tim's just in there blasting SIGs and then there's like a knock on the door for room service and Tim's like come in and I'm like, I like grabbed Tim Sig out of his hand and throw it out the window.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Well, no. Where do you want to go? What should we do? Cause you'll, you're going to be on this podcast like 20 times. I hope so, man. France, I think we'll do France. Okay. This is one specific trip to France where I saw like more of it. And then we did Paris at the end. So you want to like say Paris another time? I don't know. I mean, this, this might.
Starting point is 00:03:26 We go where we go. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Have you ever been there before? Uh, I've, I'd been to Paris. I'd been to Paris and I'd been to Nice. I've been to Paris like three times or four times before this. And then Nice once or twice before. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, this was the first, excuse me, the first time.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Nice. Accentuate that. Yeah. Can you yeah, this was the first, excuse me, the first time. Nice. Accentuate that. Yeah. Can you put some. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. And it sucks cause it comes out of nowhere. That's how fat I am. It's mid-work.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I know. You were skirted by it too. It wasn't even like, oh sorry. Big deal. Who cares? You were like, and then we had to. This clam chowder for breakfast. I would love you to spit up like a baby.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Yeah. This is actually Bernays. Just the baby's foot comes out. So I slurp it back in like a noodle. This was the first time I'd been to like the less traveled parts of France. And I went out there with my wife and two of our friends. One of them's a Frenchman, which is like just an awesome experience to be traveling with a French guy. It sounds racist.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Frenchmen. Dude, I mean, they want to be like, oh, America, you love guns and you hate blacks. And it's like, well, at least we're allowed pointy churches over here without torching them. We didn't outlaw head gear, you know? Like their war against the Muzz is fucking deep. They hate them, huh?
Starting point is 00:04:41 They really, I mean, I don't want to speak for everyone. Did I talk to a French comedian in Edinburgh? It's an oxymoron. Whose act was he doing in French? And that's a lot of that, huh? I know. There's a lot of that. They're like, they'll never know. Let's just split it up. You get Chris Rock, I'll get Seinfeld, you get Louis. Yeah, it's genius. It worked forever. Mike Ward, when he meets one of the, because the French Canadians have this battle with the French. And when he meets like one of them, one of the French comedians and they'll like see like, like the guy was like, hey, good joke.
Starting point is 00:05:12 He goes, I did it on TV already. Like, I'm not even playing this game. Yeah. But wait, what was I saying? You were talking about. Oh yeah, he goes, yeah, he said like, listen, we're all very like liberal, but at some point we start going like,
Starting point is 00:05:26 fuck, it keeps happening in the same neighborhood. I mean, the American experiment of the melting pot is cool, but also we have a lot more space and we're not as old. So like the French are like, we've been here forever and we want to like, this way of life that you guys love and admire and come here to experience, we're trying to protect that. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:05:44 So I mean, it's like, I obviously, I'm on the side of empathy first, but there is like an argument that could be made to keeping. Kill them all. Yeah. I mean, that's less nuanced than the one I was going to make, but yeah. So what'd you get into in France?
Starting point is 00:05:58 We flew, I was in, I did Tokyo for a week and then I did Australia for a month touring with my wife. And then we flew from- You toured with your wife? Yeah, I brought her down to Australia. To tour, okay. Yeah, yeah. She didn't open for me.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I'm not Sean Patton. Did she go down on you? Oh, for sure, yeah. It was crazy though because it was reversed. Yeah, so she was sucking my nose. Killed him there. Yeah. killed them there. Uh, yeah. So we had this like hellacious flight from Australia to Paris, which was like 20 hours.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Oh, what an out of the way way to get there. Yeah. But luckily some weird Australians gave me a bunch of like down under Benzos. So I was like loopy and strange for the entire duration. Dude, Australians go so hard. Yeah. Yeah. They might go the hardest. They're the wildest whites. Interesting. They're also the newest whites I think, like as far as like having their own cultural identities, so they're still kind of the Wild West. Figure it out, wildest whites. Yeah, and again they have
Starting point is 00:06:57 this giant land mass, but there's like 25 million of them living in there. Yeah. What are the top five wildest whites? Them. Irish are up there. Mm-hmm. Uh, Scottish. Scottish. Yeah, for sure. They get stabby. Yeah. They're screwdriver stabbers too.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Wow. Yeah, they don't mean- They're like, can't afford a knife. Come on. Yeah. Could have bought a pint or a knife. I think, yeah. And then obviously like the man, the Manchurians,
Starting point is 00:07:18 the Manchester people. Uh, those of the UKers. Yeah. And then I would go ahead and say just- Canadians are wild. So it's like, who can you keep up with? It's hard. I mean, Canadians are.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I think that there's parts of Canada that are wild. They drink a lot. They drink hard. That's it. They're not wild. And then, God forbid you insult the Nordiques or whatever, and then they'll break a bottle over your head. But I've never been afraid of a Canadian.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Yeah. The Australians, I'm not afraid of Australians, but they are wild. I'm not, it's the same way that teenagers in America, if you see a pack of four teenagers, I'm scared. And I feel like if you get Australians in a group at the casino, then I'm kind of scared, but one on one. They don't fight, but they could start fucking
Starting point is 00:08:02 within the eyesight of you. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And they're so funny too. Yeah. They're always willing to do buckets. They love a bucket. Love a bucket. Love a bucket.
Starting point is 00:08:11 It's like in their constitution. The national bird is a bucket. Dude, you can see them get turned out, especially people who like are now have a straight life, you know, and they're like a family with kids. And then you'd be like, they have buckets here. They're like, what? They're just like, oh. They're always eating like, their diet is like stuff a foster kid would want.
Starting point is 00:08:33 It's like a meat pie and like just like a melted cup of cheese and they're dipping the pie in there. Yeah. How are they not all obese? Oh, it's because they don't eat the same food we do. That's the thing. Our food is poison. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Like you could be like a glutton in other places, but it's not they don't eat the same food we do. That's the thing, our food is poison. Oh, right. And you could be a glutton in other places, but it's not a GMO lab-made thing that's built to kill you. So Q-Boys, we eat like shit, me and Bobby eat like shit, we both lost weight. Oh, dude. I mean, I go abroad and I eat like a pig, but I'm also walking like 10 miles a day and not just ingesting stuff that was made in a laboratory. What a challenge for you and Tim Dillon,, let's try to pig out and lose weight.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Let's try to prove it. Dude, I love traveling with Tim because we'll go to the fanciest restaurant in Copenhagen and then he'll have the hired driver drive us to get a waffle with whipped cream afterward. Because he didn't get enough. All right, let's go to France. I just fuck up all the time.
Starting point is 00:09:20 I never get to the country I'm talking about. Enough kvetching. So we arrive in Paris. Me and my wife had like a night in Paris and then we met up with Tessa and Gregoire and we went west and we went to- How'd you go? Train, bus? Train, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Oh nice. Yeah, we went to Vannes in Nantes and then Brittany, Bretagne. How far is this? Call up a map for me. Yeah. No, this won't be big enough. No. But it't be big enough.
Starting point is 00:09:45 No. But it wasn't that far. I mean, it was like maybe a two hour. Okay. Countryside shit? Yeah. So Bretagne is really cool, or Brittany as they call it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:57 It's like, it's where the UK, it's where like Great Britain and France converge. Okay. It's over there. See that like little tit that's coming off the nipple on the left side? The Touloune, what's it say? Brittany on the left there. On the left side. It's a Brittany, Bretagne.
Starting point is 00:10:13 So yeah, we went from Paris all the way over. Wait, where's Paris there? Where it's in like in the middle-ish. Limousine, there's a limousine? Was that where that was invented? I love finding out things are invented in a place. It's gotta be, right? Sardinia has sardines.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Yeah. Cote de Rhone is from Rhone. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Where's Paris? I can't believe there's no Paris on this map. It's right there. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Damn, it's small. And then we rode out. We went to the west out there. And there's Vann. Vann is down there. And there's Vaughn, Vaughn is down there, underneath Bretagne on the left. Yeah, I see it. Yeah, so we went there and then we went up to Brest. And we rode a ferry over to Brest.
Starting point is 00:10:55 And then we went north up to Normandy and we went to San. How long were you there for? Isle San Michelle. I think this was like a two week trip. We went to where, um, St. Michael's grave is, you know, that like picture. Could you look up, uh, uh, what is it? Who's St. Michael's from, from, from the Bible. Oh,
Starting point is 00:11:15 the sequel. Yeah. Not, not y'all's not from Motley crew. Yeah, no. Yeah. There he is. Archangel. Nice. Yeah. And he's buried in like Judaism. Hold on. No way. How was he part of Judaism? Pump the brakes. Back up one, back up one. Fuck this guy. He was the first guy to complain about it. St. Michael's an archangel in Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Baha'i. Well Baha'i just fucking borrows. Champion of justice and a healer and the garden. Hello guys. Just so you know, you'd be tripping, stand strongly against Baha'i. They're the hacks of religion. What's Baha'i's deal? They just take what everyone else does and go, you'd be tripping stand strongly against Baha'i. They're the hacks of religion.
Starting point is 00:11:45 What's Baha'i's deal? They just take what everyone else does and go, you guys all believe this? Then it's us too. What? So they're the fusion cuisine of religion? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:55 They go, oh, everyone has like no killing? I guess that's true. Huh. And they go, wait, don't mix linen and cotton? No, that's just you Jews. They're just universalists? Yeah. Oh, gross.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Yeah. Pick a side. Pick a side. Yeah. Oh, gross. Yeah. Pick a side. Pick a side. Yeah. You got to die for something. The high belief is that racial class and religious prejudice should be eliminated by force. Yeah. By any means necessary. Eradicate those who won't join. Uh, what was this guy's grave? Did you pour some out? Uh, no, but my wife, it was her birthday. It's Isle San Michelle, I think. You've seen it.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Mon San Michelle, it's like the island where they have the big cathedral on it. And it's like, you have to walk out during low tide. Hell yeah. We went there and it was my wife's birthday. Did you do that? Yeah, dude, we walked and then they threw a rave in the church after hours, but like no one went.
Starting point is 00:12:44 So it was just me and my wife and my two friends like rave in the church after hours, but no one went, so it was just me and my wife and my two friends smoking hash in this church and hard styling on Saint's graves. It was a very nice evening. What? Yeah, yeah. This place? Yeah, hold on.
Starting point is 00:12:56 What, do you have pictures of that? I have a picture of us in the church. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, that's Saint Michael's grave. What's hard styling? That's hard styling? Well, no, we would do the thing where you would two hands, like hardcore bands do,
Starting point is 00:13:08 or like the double hand claps, kneeling on one knee. No. Okay, you don't listen to enough. I guess not. You don't listen to enough. Shush burning music. Yeah, exactly. Let me see it, let me see what you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:13:21 So right behind her there is the thing you walk across and you're divided completely, and then that's just like a... And then at some point you're like about. So right behind her there is the thing you walk across. Oh. And you're divided completely, and then that's just like a. And then at some point you're like, you just can't get there? Sometimes there's like none of that sand is there at all. And you're just in this like floating island, totally disconnected with this ancient abbey
Starting point is 00:13:35 that they built. Whoa. And allegedly St. Michael's in there. But yeah, that's his grave right there. What a far away look on your chick's face. What a deftly pose. I don't know, just enjoying it. She just got her birthday cock.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Dude, when her birthday comes around, I'm like, no, I have to do a good job. So I wake up and just drink a bunch of water. Yeah, I'm doing squats in the shower, trying to loosen my hips. Yeah, this is her casual pose. This picture took me maybe 20 minutes to finally get the right one.
Starting point is 00:14:07 She's like, I don't look wistful enough. It's like, you don't know what that means. But yeah, and then where is it? This, that's a different place. But yeah. Damn. And then we went down to, we stayed at Gregoire's grandparents' house
Starting point is 00:14:23 in Sable or Leon. Hey guys, I gotta break in really quickly to tell you about Sam Talent. He's the guest on today's episode. He's a great comedian. I first saw him in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. They put him on a show with me. I was there for one night at a comedy festival.
Starting point is 00:14:38 And I knew right then, not only do you have talent, that's not a play on his name. Oh God, I'm sure he's heard that about a billion times, huh? But not only do you have talent, that's not a play on his name. Oh God, I'm sure he's heard about it a billion times, huh? But not only do you have talent, not only is he hilarious, but also he has, among comedians, widely regarded as the worst legs in the business. Yeah, they give out goat awards all the time. Used to be one, it was Richard Pryor,
Starting point is 00:15:04 and now there's like 20 comics who say they're the goat, but who's the goat of terrible legs? Well, I say there's only one, and it starts and finishes with Sam Talon's legs, and he shows them off. He's not afraid to brag about what he's got, which is the worst legs in comedy. But he's also an author, and not just like whatever he does, just do your fucking personal stories. No, he wrote an actual book, Running the Light. And it's being reissued by Penguin Random House right now. Yeah, today, it's out.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Guys, I did an audio book, an audio chapter of this book. Mark Norma did one, Bert Kreischer did one. A lot of people found out that comedians couldn't read. You want to hear that audiobook? It's pretty enlightening, but probably better just to read it yourself. So order the new copy of the new issue of the book, Running the Light Right Now, with a new forward by Doug Stanhope and a preview chapter of his next book right now. Get it at samtalent.com or penguinrandomhouse.com. You can also see his special, The Toad's Morale. Toad's Morale? I think it's Morale on YouTube right now. And also see him on the road. He's got, oh he's got a ton coming up. Vancouver, Washington,
Starting point is 00:16:18 Houston, Texas, Kansas City, Lexington, Iowa City, Omaha, Nebraska, Glasgow. Here we go, here we, here we, here we fucking go. London, Manchester, Amsterdam, Portland, Maine, Eugene, Oregon, Brisbane, ooh, he's going out there. Melbourne, Sydney, Auckland, Perth, hitting all the big ones. Brisbane, gotta love it. Dayton, Ohio, Salt Lake City, Charlotte, New Brunswick, and Timonium. Tickets right now at samtalent.com.
Starting point is 00:16:48 I have some words for you. I'm going to be in Vancouver, Canada on April 5th. Show added. April 6th in Calgary, April 7th in Edmonton, and April 4th in Seattle. Get tickets right now at rechefier.com, the farewell tour. And then I got Anchorage in June, and then I'm pretty much gone until 2027.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Oh, what else do I got? Oh, this weekend I've got Orlando and Fort Lauderdale. Tickets are pretty much sold out for those. Shows shows have been added all the Canadian cities and all the Florida cities show will not be added in Seattle get tickets at Ari Shaffir.com subscribe wherever you're listening to you be trippin everybody we've got a bunch of great new episodes Andrew Schultz on the podcast next week damn I supposed to say that in the outro but regardless guys check out Sam Townes stuff oh and the storytelling show is selling quickly.
Starting point is 00:17:46 April 20th, 21st, 22nd, surprise lineup in New York City. Get tickets to one show only. That's right, one show only per night. If you wanna go home to a second show, you can, but not the same night. You'll be turned away and you will not be refunded if they catch ya. They'll be lookin'.
Starting point is 00:18:03 But that's it, April 20th, 21st, 22nd. Dress up if you want. Wear something nice. Don't try and call attention to yourself by wearing a fucking top hat and a dumb and dumber suit. But dress up. You know, have a good time. It's a funeral. We're putting this show to bed. Ari Shaffir's Renamed Storytelling Show.
Starting point is 00:18:20 For now that's the title. I'm looking for names. If you guys have any idea for names. The old company that I used to work with is not being the most forthcoming but we'll see we'll see maybe they get cooler in this couple weeks but if they don't look for names please suggest names in the in the whatever below the comments below maybe I'll leave a comment on there and comment yourself who you'd like to see on the podcast who you'd like to
Starting point is 00:18:50 Whatever guys, let's get back to the episode. All tickets are available at our issue fear comm subscribe Get my go for a hike shirt right now get my stay positive shirt all at our issue for comm Let's get back to Sam talent taking us around France and also being sidetracked constantly by other travel stories Which happens for great travelers when they come on this podcast the first time I'll see you in the episode. Is this touristy out here in these places? by other travel stories, which happens for great travelers when they come on this podcast the first time. I'll see you in the episode. Is this touristy out here in these places or are you just like off in your own doing it like the boots on the ground kind of guy?
Starting point is 00:19:11 Brittany is touristy because it's so pretty. And like they have all these insane pools in Brittany. Here I'll show you, Bretagne. Like yeah, it's like just this kind of stuff. Oh yeah, and like everyone was topless. Noice, bro. Dude, everyone's topless. Yeah. Yeah. We were just like nude a lot.
Starting point is 00:19:30 I took a huge, oh, by that boat. Did you? Could you nude it up? Yeah, I was nude. I got nude in the water though. I didn't walk in nude. You got nude and then came back in. I would get in, I'd take my shorts off, be like, ooh la la, wave them over my head.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Right now. So I'm not, I'm not mega fawning into the water. be like, Ooh, la la, wave them over my head. I'm not mega fawning into the water. From the parking lot, just getting out of your car. Yeah. Yeah. When do you, it's like, how do you take it off? It's such a, it's such an event. The water's probably a good idea. Well, if you're a pretty lady with rock and cans, no one cares. No one cares.
Starting point is 00:20:02 It's also France. So like they have a much better understanding of like, what's allowed. Do you get looked at? I had, I went to one in Perth, near Perth, and it was just, it was a gay one and they would go out of the way to come in towards you, get a real good glimpse and then walk back. Dude, first time I ever went to a nude beach with
Starting point is 00:20:18 my wife and this Tessa lady was in Barcelona or Valencia. And dude, there was this like ice cream truck behind us and these 14 year old boys were doing laps to the ice cream truck and just like staring at my wife and Tess's tits. And then they would like eat the ice cream. This dude must, this one kid must've had like five
Starting point is 00:20:35 popsicles an hour because he was just doing laps around us and like, ah, just leering and licking. I get it. Oh, for sure. At that age too, you're like, oh yeah. You're feral at that age. I get it. Oh, for sure. At that age too, you're like, oh yeah. You're feral at that age. I'm glad he didn't attack her. Just a drop bear latching.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Yeah, no, for sure. No one's doing a lap on me. They do, they're like, is it a penis or is it an acorn? Do you get comfortable after a while? No, me, no dude. I'm doing it so my wife won't think I'm a pussy. That's like why I do anything uncomfortable. It's so hard to drop it, but then once you're dropped, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:09 I got kind of like, I stopped thinking about it. Well, you have like a legendary piece though. No, but the balls are what's at. Let me show you. Okay. I mean, I've seen your balls and penis. Yeah. I've been in, I've been in standup for a couple of months. For sure. Seeing your cock and balls. You're like, this is going to be sexual, but it will be disheartening and like disconcerting. Welcome to stand up.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Yeah. I want to look at it clinically. Like through a lens. It isn't forked. We should make every new comic in Austin have to look at it through a magnifying glass. Just I mean, yeah, if they got to do Kill Tony, they'll do a lot more than look at it. Topography or that's right. Dude, these comics who use Kill Tony, they'll like their credit for a guest set is the number of the Kill Tony episode they were on. And it's like, no one cares. No one fucking cares. You want to look it up.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Episode 664. Yeah. No, you probably saw them on Kill Tony episode 520. It's like, no, no one saw it. But yeah, we took this trip and it was a nice time. How did you clear this much time to take this trip and money? I did Japan and we were filming there for Wide World. Wide World. Wide World.
Starting point is 00:22:14 I mean, I'll put it in the bumper, but what a fucking cool idea. It's fun. So you don't do any filming for the show while you're doing it? What do you mean? I mean, like you just do voiceover the whole time. You're not doing setups and shit.
Starting point is 00:22:27 No, we don't do any setups. It's just us on vacation. It's like, it's me and my fat friends being bumbling oafs abroad. It's like we're not going in kayaks like through you know, the mangroves. The influencer thing of like. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:22:39 It's like this is stuff that you and your dumb friends could pull off. It's like we found a good sandwich and ate it in a park. Like that's a nice day of vacation if you ask me. But yeah, I worked all of Australia for a month. I took two nights off while I was there. So I had a little bit of money. And then you said, fuck it, let's go to Paris
Starting point is 00:22:55 on the way back or France on the way back. And then we filmed Paris Wide World after the end of this trip. So I was gone for a total of nine weeks. Damn, tax deductible. It's all deductible. Film a couple shots, tax deduction. Dude, I fucking love deductions.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Yeah. And it's interesting, cause now I'm a big receipt hoarder, and then I just drop them on my dad at the end of the year. Make him do it. He loves to do my taxes. That's such a, you know how like the thing of like, just like bathing in like money or whatever,
Starting point is 00:23:25 or like gold coins. Yeah, yeah. It's very Jewish. Yeah, you mean birthright? Yeah, I've heard of it. Just dropping receipts on an accountant. I love receipts. I love being like, hey, the man,
Starting point is 00:23:35 you can't get any of this money. I heard once, David Spade said I'm wrong, that he did, he was skiing in Vail for like 10 days, and did one show in Denver in the middle to make the holding tax deductible and he goes I don't I don't ski That's just a wrong. That's a wrong story. And I'm like damn it sure. Yeah, what? Yeah, that's just not true. Huh? Yeah, I mean just go sit in a chalet They're not gonna follow your tracks. Yeah spadeade. Yeah, but he's like someone else. Anyway though, so okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:24:07 So I was like pretty haggard at this point because I'd already been out for like five weeks. Could you get up and do stuff? Oh yeah, I always get up and do stuff. Your tip about when you land, not going to bed, that's like the ultimate hack. It's so easy. Just go.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Just go. Put your shit down and go. Hit the ground, get outside, walk around. Also like do the lap, you said that on an episode where you do the lap around your building so that way the last day you're not like, oh there's a bookstore behind the building. A super cool bookstore right here that I know I got to. Yeah, because you're like, oh I better, I have to find the train station so I can ride to all these places. It's like you're in a neighborhood where people live if you're staying in like a cool place cool place, go out there and find where the nice piece of bread is, find where the good cup of coffee is. It's almost a blessing when you get there, like we can't check in yet, but we can store your bags. And you're like, awesome, cool. Sick, that's actually what I need. Yeah, so I'm not gonna take a shower.
Starting point is 00:24:56 I'm just gonna hit the streets, I reek. It's fine. Yeah, that shower slows you down so much. You go in there like, let's just brush our teeth and shower, and now it's two hours. Right, I know. Check the internet. Yeah, and you're on your phone for's two hours. Right, I know. Check the internet. Yeah, and you're on your phone for the first time.
Starting point is 00:25:07 You're like, oh, where should we go to dinner three hours later? Yeah, it sucks. If I could leave my phone behind while on vacation, I would, but Google Maps is like such a necessary part of it for me. Just cause I like knowing how to get home. I don't mind leaving and then just like hitting the streets
Starting point is 00:25:21 and I love getting on a train and riding to the end of that line and then like having a day over there and then riding back the other way, the next day. That's a fun way to do vacation. What do you mean? Oh, riding, oh, that's just the opposite. You like get on a subway and you just ride it to
Starting point is 00:25:34 the end. That's cool. And then you're going to be invariably in a port or like a part of town you wouldn't go to because it's the end of the line. Yeah. And that's like an easy way to like surprise yourself on vacation. Like force yourself into like what we're doing this area. I think it of the line. Yeah. And that's like an easy way to like surprise yourself on vacation.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Like force yourself into like what we're doing this area. I think it's just novelty. Yeah. So like I'm constantly looking for novelty and like something new. And if you plan novelty, it loses the luster. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:57 This is the problem with the Jesnlic offensive. Yeah. Yeah. Once you call it the offensive, no one's offended. Yeah. They come in knowing what it's going to be. So it's like, right.
Starting point is 00:26:03 It's like, this is the spot that some blogger said. First of all, great reference. All right. That show from eight years ago. Yeah, but lose the novelty. Cutting edge Ari. Yeah, Kari. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:18 It's, uh, yeah, once you do a novel thing on purpose, you're right. It loses the novelty. You have to just be in something. Or if like someone has an idea, you're like, cool. Don't tell me any more about it. You find out where the destination is, let's go. Because I do all the wide worlds with my friends from third grade.
Starting point is 00:26:35 They film it. So if one of them is like, my cousin said he went to this thing, it's like, great. We're going to do that. That sounds great. I don't want to hear anything else about I'm good I don't want to walk in with any like preconceived notions. I don't want to pictures. Don't I'm already going dude We went to this Gundam in fucking Tokyo. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:26:52 It's a like a fucking it I don't know four story robot that has like hydraulics in it and I thought it was gonna like launch and like leave the ground Yeah, but no it like just like moved its ankle and like slowly raised its hand. Yeah. This fucking thing, they shut it down. Thank God. I think I had a hand in it. Yeah. Go bots. Yeah. So you can like go up to the top and observe it. And I was there with a Gundam dork and he's like, look at the servos. And I was like, what the fuck's a servo dude? And I guess it's just like one piston that like kind of raises its arm. Yeah look at this. And it's like four stories high.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Yes, it's four stories high. You can go to the top. God they're freaks. They're so weird. Yeah and it doesn't do anything except for light up and like slowly move. Oh no. And if I would have known about the Gundam I would have been like I'm not going to that. It's a waste of time.
Starting point is 00:27:40 That sounds awful. It was very boring. Oh it does light up. Not bad. That's a good light up. Yeah. It's actually not a great light up. I feel like. It was very boring. Oh, it does light up. Not bad. That's a good light up. Yeah. It's actually not a great light up. I feel like... It's only a couple lights. No, yeah. Just a couple big lights.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Actually, in hindsight, no, that light up was kind of lame. Look at its arm. That's all you get. And then who are these metal... And then Toto plays. Who are these metal... Is that Chad singing? Oh, no, it's not. Okay. It's guitar. From afar it looks like. Oh yeah show those pecs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:10 God look how their hair is. It's so funny. The feathering that they get involved in. Yeah. What a weird society. That's next episode you gotta do Japan with me. Yeah. But yeah we're in France.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Yeah. This guy's like we honor and revere the Gundam. Thank you for defending us against the Chinese blight. That's what it is. in France. Yeah. This guy's like, we honor and revere the Gundam. Thank you for defending us against the Chinese blight. That's what it is. You keep the shores safe. I mean, they put a bunch of money to this thing. I bet they tried to design it as like a weapon of war. And then they were like, well, this is ludicrous. It's not working, but let's scare people off. Oh, they have trans there. I think they call it the third gen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Dude, the androgyny that's part of being Japanese is so exciting. I mean, you're right on the line already. Yeah. It's such a small, like I'm just going to fully fight. And then when they get the surgery to open their eyes even more, it's like, whoa, that's a weird one. There's two surgeries I love from Japan. Yeah. It's that opening the eyes one and And then the pussy correcting. What? Well usually it's sideways. I was gonna say the fucking having honor one.
Starting point is 00:29:09 The final surgery. Arikari. The final surgery. Hi guys, today's episode of You've Been Tripping is brought to you by mudwater.com. Are you addicted to coffee? Do you stand in line, unable to face the day and stand in line at a coffee shop
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Starting point is 00:34:04 to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Trippin, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Trippin to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Trippin. Let's get back to the episode. All right, back to France. Yes. Oh, come on. Oh, come on, man.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Oh, wait, is that a real thing? The pussy surgery? It's vaginal rejuvenating. It's just surprising. Listen, I hated that. You did the right thing though. Yeah. But yes, we were in France and we just, uh, we took trains to all these like, like van and non. These are places where people don't go. They're like university towns. Okay. Um, so yeah,
Starting point is 00:34:40 but like Greg war had gone to college in one of these places. So he knew the cool spots, dude, being being with a person from that place is so invaluable. I call it boots on the ground. Boots on the ground, yeah. And so like, did you do the China run? No, I have not. Shanghai, Hong Kong, and Beijing, whatever. But like, so with that one, it's so foreign.
Starting point is 00:35:00 But you get some comedians who are just living there from their bank, whatever, contracts and stuff. But yeah, they've been there. So like, what's their, I don't wanna open up a lonely planet, like what's there actually to do? And they're like, oh, Tuesdays it's this spot. Right, yeah. And then you're like, oh cool,
Starting point is 00:35:15 and you meet people who live there, and then they're eager to tell you about the stuff that they like too. And they're also like, well you did the work of like finding this place, so you must be curious. So if you're in here, like you give a shit. So I'm going to tell you like where my favorite vantage point is in the city. Plus also if you're in a place like that, it seems like they wouldn't be like fucking tourists. They'd be like, oh cool tourists.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Yeah, yeah. I mean you're putting money into this bar that I come to every day. Yeah. I'm not being loud and obnoxious. I don't speak any French except for I'm sorry and may I please have. Pouille-je-voir? Pouille- I please have. Pouille-je-voir. Pouille-je-voir. Pouille-je-voir un cappuccino, s'il-vous-plaît. Dude, I learned that. I took that writing class.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Rolf Potts has a writing class. Yeah. We have a book, anyway, gone. But I learned that, Pouille-je-voir, un, whatever. And then this guy who fucking knew tons of French goes, that's pretty formal. I'm like, fuck off, bro.
Starting point is 00:36:02 I've been here for 10 days. I'm going with it. They understand me. And that's the thing about France, dude, fuck off, bro. I've been here for 10 days. I'm going with it. They understand me. And that's the thing about France dude is like, they are rude to you because you are an American pig and you do they, you're revolting. Let's just go on that. But if you walk into a place, you walk into the bakery, I flipped my booger before I got in here. My hands are covered in honey, but I was winning the pooing.
Starting point is 00:36:24 But if you walk in and you just greet everyone in there, if you're like, bonjour, madame, everyone, you just fucking gun them with that. Then they're like, all right, what do you want? And then, pui je voie un croissant? They're like, oh, okay, you put the stink on croissant. This guy's not bad, this guy's not bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:42 But you just have to walk into every place and greet everyone, because that's part of their cultural norm there. And then the poise of wa and then get the hell out of the way. I'm trying a little bit. Yeah, I heard this. Tell me if I'm wrong. That the store people work, the stores are the owners of the stores.
Starting point is 00:36:58 So when you go in there and start touching stuff, they're like, Hey man, a hello, you're in my fucking place. And then people don't look at it that way. Cause we come from here. We're like, you're just working for eight bucks an hour. You're just doing retail. Yeah. Yeah. In between classes. Yeah. Usually you walk into a place and if you're in the sardine place, that guy's been importing sardines for his entire life. So he is interested to be like, okay, do you like lemon sardines?
Starting point is 00:37:19 Cause if you do, these are the best lemon sardines over here. Or do you like a savory or like a spicy sardine? Like his whole thing is curating his selection in his store. Damn. Yeah. Did you have that there? Oh, for sure. Is this a reference to me?
Starting point is 00:37:30 I eat so many tinned fish. I love tinned fish. Dude, I'm getting into it. Yeah, it's good. On a little bit of toast with those big salt things. Yeah. It's not just for like dads in their new apartment anymore. It's not just the mom left meal.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Exactly. Kurt Van Houten. What was his complex? I don't remember, but I do remember him saying, I sleep in a race car bed, Homer. And Homer says, I sleep in a big bed with my wife. So yeah, we went all the way out and we did like two or three nights in each of these places and Greggoire pretty much did a victory lap of when he was a young man. So I don't like techno dance clubs and stuff,
Starting point is 00:38:10 but I can like, I drink a lot when I'm over there. So I can get a couple in me and then unbutton, nice. I thought it was gonna be booze. Who put that in there? It's a flayed cock. Oh boy. It was sure it was going to be booze. And they say cigar is not taught hands on here in the studio.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Okay, all right. My wife got me a globe. She told me for a week I was on the road, she's like, I got you something at the house, you're going to lose your fucking mind. And I thought she tore a wall down and put up stained glass. But no, I get home and she's like, all right,
Starting point is 00:38:50 and uncovers my eyes and it's a globe. And I was like, oh cool. And she's like, I paid $525 for that because you always wanted a globe in your house. You said you wanted your niece to be able to spin a globe and point at it and you can tell her about the place. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:39:03 I didn't give a shit about this globe. That's just something I said in passing. Also, 40 bucks to get that done. Oh dude, I know. And there's like precious rocks and stuff for every country. She did a really good job. She got a beautiful globe.
Starting point is 00:39:16 And I like rolled my eyes audibly at it. My mom found a deal on globes when we were little. And that was the bar mitzvah gift we'd get to everybody. Globe? Yeah, just globe. You don't have one, no one else is getting you one. Yeah, now you have it. Yeah Yeah, you go you can dream about doing the spin and I'm going there. Yeah, and it's always the ocean Oh, yeah Northern hemisphere no one ever goes
Starting point is 00:39:37 Yeah, you never thumbing it what food did you have there? Do you already like specific unique dude? We so Greg war French hell of a chef. Well that one's cool, the Earth Day one. Over on the right. Earth Day, April 20th, right? No, that's Weed Day. I know, but I feel like it's also Earth Day. That's bullshit.
Starting point is 00:39:56 That's why you'll never get saved. Here's some tasty snacks that we had. Eclairs and stuff. Camera four. Oh yeah. Oh, so you eclairs and stuff. Oh yeah. Oh, so you guys like cooked and shit. We would cook and shit. Do the cheese plates in France.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Oh, look at those tin fish. Yeah. Tin. Nice, bro. And I think you drink the, do you drink that juice? No, dude, that fuck you up. Right. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:40:20 You want the slipperiest diarrhea you've ever had? You drink the liquid. Yeah, no, I actually did. I took a dump out here. No, come on, bro. Out by these boats. Yeah. Out what?
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah. I was like out there nude and like, we like, you know, you hike down to this remote beach, there's no toilets. So I just get in the water and you take a dump. How do you take it? Well, hold on. Pissing in the water is hard because you feel like you're in, once you get it going, you're okay.
Starting point is 00:40:47 How do you even start a dump when you're encased in water? You just let it rip. You had no issues with it? No, I've done it a bunch. I've like, I've dumped in a lot of lakes, a lot of rivers and stuff. Are you trying to check shit off? Like I gotta dump in this one?
Starting point is 00:41:01 No, it's often half the dump. I eat like three tins of fish and a loaf of bread. And then they're like, we're going to the water. I'm like, all right, I'll be fine. How do you get away from it? Dude, it's crazy. Cause when you dump, that thing comes out like the Loch Ness monster.
Starting point is 00:41:13 It like pops up. It's always the best turd you've ever had. Cause the water condenses it. So like, yeah, so like one time I was dumping in Fort Collins and it came out and was like, boop, like it like, it came out of the water. The lower you go, the more like, holding a ball down there and it's a human turd. Wait, what? Yeah. But it popped up right by my shoulder and I was like, ah,
Starting point is 00:41:36 and I was splashing it away. And then I looked up and there was like these tourists on the, on the cliff. Turtus. Very good. You should write for the Jeselnik Offensive. What an old reference. They busted me splashing my old turd away. But yeah, sorry about the turd talk. Turd talk's not bad. Where the hell?
Starting point is 00:41:56 You should give a turd talk. Where the hell is it? There's, okay, I guess like in this. Wait, the turd? No, I don't have the turd. I was in the water. Dude, that's, I mean like, that's crazy. It's not that crazy. I mean, have you guys ever shit in water? Yes. Wow. You think you're this Bon Vivant out there getting the marrow
Starting point is 00:42:18 out of life. You never dumped in the water? I took it on to the water, but not like in it. I've dumped from a pool into water before. That's a fun one. Oh yeah, this is the shit right here. Wow. Here we go. So like these. That's cargo. See these guys down here,
Starting point is 00:42:34 these little like fucking dinosaur toes. Yeah, what the fuck is that? These grow on rocks out there. So like me and Greg Waugh would swim out and like we would go into like these little like rock like canyons and he would just pull like a mollusk off and like crack it open against the rock and then we would eat them out there. Raw right then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:42:54 And then what'd you just collect some for later? Is this from a store? This was from a restaurant, but uh, yeah. Yeah. These are oysters. Wait, he would just eat them raw like that. Oh dude, we were crushing. We were eating mussels right off the rock. You don't put any salt on them or anything? They're really salty from the salinity of the water. Right. Yeah, unless it's like a freshwater area
Starting point is 00:43:12 and then they're just like really crisp. It's like eating Poseidons come. It's perfect. And then these are cool, these little sea snails. Look how fucked up that thing is. This is like a toenail and then you have to like rip this toenail off so you can get to like the okay sweet flesh underneath.
Starting point is 00:43:27 It's not worth a lot of the work. Yeah. But yeah, so like mussels are big over there. They have mule frites, which is the big bowl of mussels in broth and then french fries, and you dip the french fries in the mule water. In the broth? Yeah, that's the shit, man.
Starting point is 00:43:40 What do they call mule water? Mules is mussels. And also slang for pussy in France is mule. I mean, yeah. Yeah. That works. It's very libidinal. A lot of mayonnaise involved.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Wait, did you have escargot? Obviously, if you had that, you have an escargot. I really will eat anything. I think I ate dog in Tokyo. I definitely ate pig valve, like pig heart valve. And then they served us this wink, like special. And I was like, I couldn't ask what it was because it's Tokyo.
Starting point is 00:44:09 And then I just munched it and it was like very, very dark, gamey meat. And then this dude from Tokyo was like, if they liked you, it could have been dog. And I was like, right on. Because they're treating you. Yeah, they're like, this guy's obviously an adventurous eater.
Starting point is 00:44:21 I like how you've been to every place and adventure, but you're like, let me go to the underground where they actually don't serve dog and get it there. I mean, dude, if you're like a nice guy on vacation, people are very eager to show you their city. Like they want to take you to their neighborhood and be like, hey, I know you've been to the fucking Gundam,
Starting point is 00:44:39 but if you want to drink like snake liquor from a guy with an eye patch, I'll show you something really unique. This guy gave my wife a tattoo and it turned out he was a foot fetishist. My buddy, Greg Waugh, translated this thing he saw and it's like, he's in defeat. All the pictures he took was just holding my wife's foot.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Look at him, he's so stoked. You went surfing? Yeah, yeah. I did not get a wetsuit. They didn't have a wetsuit for me. Like that's's yeah, but yeah, I got out there and paddled around I like surfing when you like when you just like I'm done. I can't get up anymore. You're just like boogie board in Oh, I've never gotten up. This is this is a cool one. This was in a Vaughn I think it's this like yearly festival that we stumbled upon where they do boat. Yeah, watch out. Watch out. Watch out
Starting point is 00:45:26 Yeah, wait what yeah, they do boat jousting and that guy just knows it rewind rewind What yeah, man? So we just like stumbled across this canal. Yeah, and then beefs it No, dude, and like he's like a city councilman. Like he represents like, he's an elected official. What? And he just bombed in front of his,
Starting point is 00:45:49 all of his constituents. Oh no. Yeah. I mean, he's not even, oh, there's a little bit of shake. Yeah. And look at that other guy, he's like, no, I would, loser. Then they're all jumping in the water.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Yeah, this was like. Wait, oh my God. We gotta apply jousting to more stuff in life the water. Yeah. This was like, wait, oh my God, that's gotta apply. Jousting to more stuff in life. Oh dude. Aquatic like sports in general is fun. Like if they had like a pool basketball league, I would join that. You're already in the water.
Starting point is 00:46:14 You're in the water. Not sweat on your joints. No, right. I swim a lot at the gym in Detroit and due to that city's demographics, the pool's always empty. Danny Brown doesn't go home and use the pool. No, no. He can't get his neon hair wet.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Yeah. I mean, I have, I have a variety of fun photos here. Wow. How long did you stay in each city? Just till whenever? Yeah. We were in, we went to Sao Blay de Orleone to stay with Greg Warr's grandparents and they didn't speak a lick of English,
Starting point is 00:46:46 but they had cocktail hour every day at four. And if we weren't there for cocktail hour, it was like a massive affront to their way of life. So we had to always come back from like the beach or like riding bikes and we show up and at four she pours a little shot, you drink that, there's like an insane cheese plate. And like me eating all the cheese
Starting point is 00:47:03 made the grandmother love me. And then she got more fucked up cheese as the week went on. You're a good customer. I'm a great customer. Yeah, I mean I'll eat whatever you put in front of me, you old bag. Like what, like Toey cheese?
Starting point is 00:47:13 Like cheese that has, it's mostly blue veins, like there's no white to it. It just reeks like a fucking puppy mill or something. I like the Rockford, but once it's like, it can turn on you fast. Oh, I'm a huge Rockford guy. Yeah, but like, this is great, this is great. And then another bite, you're like,
Starting point is 00:47:29 actually, you know what, I think you're gonna be nauseous. Here's me in Paris looking like a stud. This is like one of the good pictures of me. Look at that guy. Hold on, go down a little bit. Let me see your face. I'm trying, my head doesn't fit for some reason. There it is.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Yeah, look at that face, man. Oh my God. Oh, what are you drinking? I love a chalice on the river. I don't my head doesn't fit for some reason. There it is What are you drinking what I love a chalice on the river Yeah Natural wine if you if you go to France dude and you're not spending a good portion of your day at the river Drinking wine watching the Sun go down. You're really not doing France correctly. Where's the river? It's like up in that way Well, the Seine divides the city in Paris, but this is't the Seine, is it? This is in Paris, yeah. You can tell because I'm wearing a hat. No, is this the Seine or is this one of those canals?
Starting point is 00:48:09 No, this is a little canal. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I'm a big canal guy. It's so easy to feel like a fanciful lad if you're just sitting by a river with a brand new. Smoke cigarettes? Oh, over there?
Starting point is 00:48:21 Yeah, right? Come on. It doesn't count. Dude, I think I was on this canal or right right nearby it and then it's like I'm alone So I can't like blend in with anybody. Yeah, just like pull up roll Drink and then move on just over here conversations. Yeah. Yeah, they're all talking about like life and shit And they actually have like profound deep conversations over there Yeah, cuz they don't have that thing that we have where they're like concerned with being nice.
Starting point is 00:48:45 They want to be truthful. Like I was with this guy, Zach Mama, who's a comedian. I don't know if he's bothered you. He's a, he's a French guy. He's from Paris, a really good guy. But he came over to Paris with us and he was like, my friends did not like him for the first couple of days. Cause like my buddy would get up the stairs
Starting point is 00:49:03 and he'd be sweating and he'd be like, you wouldn't be so sweaty if you were not so fat. And then like, it'd be like, I know dude, it's like, you're not breaking. I wasn't asking. I was like, what is up with this sweat? What happened? Why am I, why am I making my own juices right now? Yeah. That guy, that guy was at a wedding. That's your screensaver. Wait, is that like, is that real? Or is that a rat tail? Wow. I think it's a religious thing. What a rat tail. It was the talk of the wedding.
Starting point is 00:49:39 Yeah. I mean, he knows wherever he goes. He walked in in the room and it was with all these comics and he walked by and we all just cheered each other. Yeah, cause we saw it. Yeah. Yos. Like we don't have to worry about riffing tonight. We've got the tail.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Yeah. How was it traveling with your chick? Do you guys fight? Are you pretty cool? No, cause I just, I really equivocate to whatever she wants to do. Cause I want- That's a good superpower for travel too.
Starting point is 00:50:05 I'm on vacation, it's like everything we do is gonna be cool for me, because it's brand new. And like I said, novelty is the thing that I care the most about. So she's like, I wanna go to this place that sells plates and then there's a dress shop or whatever. It's like, cool, I wanna go see French dresses. I wanna see you wear French dresses.
Starting point is 00:50:21 This is a life that I never imagined. Yeah, it does help to have a life that I never imagined. Yeah. It does help to have a chick around for that reason. They love looking stuff up, what to do. And you're like, great, I was never going to do it. I was going to walk aimlessly and miss most of things. I'm not going to pop into any shops ever. Right.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Yeah. And also, it helps to have an attractive woman, because people want to have her come in. They're nicer to her. When it's me and my fat friends, it's definitely like in Japan, dude. If you walk into a place and they don't want you in there, they're nicer to her. When it's me and my fat friends, it's definitely like in Japan, dude, if you walk into a place and they don't want you in there, they'll just hit you with this.
Starting point is 00:50:48 And that means like no Americans allowed. It's just at the door, they'll be like smiling big, but no. We never got this when it was me and my wife. They would like move people aside so we could sit down. Pretty blonde. Yeah, yeah, pretty blonde. Let's go. Braless blonde goes a long way.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Wait, what? Can we start doing this? We can't, because we're not Japanese. But how about like bachelorette parties at like comedy shows? Just, just. Dude. Big smile, though. Congratulations!
Starting point is 00:51:14 Yeah, we're so happy for you. We're still doing Japanese voice. It's like, well, I don't want to appropriate it. Right. I want to give honor to who we took it from. Yes, exactly. It's a real headd I don't want to appropriate it. Right. I want to give honor to who we took it from. Yes, exactly. It's a real headdress. These are authentic feathers.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Yeah, no, traveling with her is good because, like I, dude, there's a lot of stuff that I never would have done if it wasn't, cause I didn't, I don't want to look like a pussy in front of her. Right. So it's like, we will go scuba diving. We'll go on this hike where there's like a
Starting point is 00:51:41 little bit of vertical climbing. Like, obviously not like this, but like up a steep incline. Like in Nice, there's this insane fucking staircase that goes to the top of the city. And I was there with my dad and my sister and we never went up there because it was like, I want to walk all the way up those stairs. Like the first day my wife was like, we should go up those stairs. I was like, uh, yeah, it wouldn't be a trip to Nice without going up the stairs.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Yeah. I mean, if you spend any time with, it wouldn't be a trip to Nice without going up the stairs. Yeah. I mean, if you spend any time with, like, when you share a hotel room with someone for a month straight, there are going to be arguments about like, who left the sink dirty? Like that kind of stuff. But as far as like actual vacation, I think we do a pretty good job. That's pretty key. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty key to do things the right way. Cause also if some one person is like so into another thing and you're like, well, I want to go do drugs at a club and you want to go like do churches in the pretty key to do things the right way. Because also if one person is so into another thing
Starting point is 00:52:25 and you're like, well I want to go do drugs at a club and you want to go do churches in the morning, it's like, no that's not going to really work. Or you got to be like, go do that, I'll meet you later. Do you take any time apart when you're traveling with her? That's an interesting question. If I'm doing, like in Australia I had gigs and stuff. So at night.
Starting point is 00:52:44 And she's seen you enough where she's like, I don't have to cover this one. She doesn't need to see me make fun of the wallpaper in a different room. Right. You know, she knows all the hits. Someone's gonna be wearing a funny hat, you know, and I'll make fun of it.
Starting point is 00:52:54 But the only thing that that fucks with is like dinner plans. Cause it's like, you want to go get dinner, but then you have to get dinner at like five at the shows at seven. Yeah. And that kind of sucks cause there's not the ambiance. But yeah, like she'll, she'll definitely break off if she wants to, if she wants to go run in the morning.
Starting point is 00:53:11 I'm not going running. That's one way to go. No matter where we are. Let me know how it was. But I will meet you at the cafe, and I'll have a coffee waiting for you. Post run. Post run coffee.
Starting point is 00:53:20 All sweaty. Yeah. But yeah, no, I don't. I do it with skiing, when you get somebody who's in a group, it's like, no way, but it's like, no, I don't. I do it with skiing when you get somebody who's in a group, it's like, no way, but it's like, meet us at the top. And like, oh, I'll take the gondola up. For sure, the gondola's fun.
Starting point is 00:53:31 The gondola's fun. Yeah. I mean, I like, I'll take a tram. I'll take any kind of means of conveyance because it's just, again, it's a different, you've never been on this train before. We tried skiing with a bunch of comics. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:43 Vale was PC and Shane came, but he's like, I don't really ski though. So he'd do like three runs shaky and then he's like, Oh, these bars are sick. And he's like, guys come meet me every, every run. Okay. Yeah. I, I, if you, you have to go somewhere with people that you get along with, you shouldn't test a new friendship on vacation. I don't think. It is like overdrive, huh? Yeah. You really scrape away all like the, you become a Frenchman.
Starting point is 00:54:09 You're just like direct by the end of it. Cause you're exhausted and dehydrated. Move. Yeah. Come on. I do love those deep philosophical discussions I get into. Me too. And when it's strangers and you're from one place and you're from another one, it's like, you're never going to see this person again. So you can talk about how you like don't think that people should give money to dog charities ever like all the shit that you lie about you can just tell them the truth yeah how you actually feel it's
Starting point is 00:54:34 like if there's people who are homeless maybe we should put all the money towards that but so far we like you know and then like dog shelters I see what you are saying however don't you think it is a responsibility to our of my calendar? And you're like, no. Well, usually they're like, I don't value human life at all, cause I'm French.
Starting point is 00:54:49 So I've just been mired in existentialism since I was a boy. And that's fun because I think Camus was like a very important part of my like, He's my favorite. He's my favorite one. Yeah, of those guys. Did you,
Starting point is 00:55:03 what did you think about outside of Paris, like French people? Did you make any like observations about them? The further out away from Paris you get, the more you just have like normal people. Like they have a chute living in Paris because they don't like Parisians either. What is a chute? They've like turned their back on the notion, you know, like kind of poo-pooed it. Where they're like, yeah, Parisians are dickheads and that's why I live in Nantes and I'm a bartender at this like dive bar instead of moving to the big city.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Oh wow. It's like when you go to Iowa city and the people are stoked cause they never left Iowa city to move to Chicago. Like that's what you're getting when you go to these smaller places. New York city? I would never.
Starting point is 00:55:42 There's so many Jews. That's how they feel about Paris, but with Muslims. Oh, interesting. Okay. So they're just like, what, more chill, more laid back? Less pretentious. There's less of like a, I feel like people who live in Paris, like the people who are wearing just like the white and beige and black clothes of the Parisian, like they're not putting on this like affect of,
Starting point is 00:56:05 I'm Parisian, you know? It's like, I'm just a dude who like works at a coffee shop. I could have left Vaughn after I got done with college, but I stayed because I met a chick and we were able to buy a house, that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny seeing everybody from New York and LA like realize that after COVID,
Starting point is 00:56:22 we're like, I can't be here. Like, I got to, and they're like, oh, actually I did want a doc. Yeah. Yeah. It's all I ever wanted. Dude. It's, I mean, I live in Detroit now and we have like boat access. Like we live near a lake. It's, it's very nice. Wow. Yeah. Um, and again, I like Parisians cause I really like value that fancy high minded, like a life built on aesthetics. Like I love beauty, you know?
Starting point is 00:56:42 And I feel like if you live in Paris, they have it in spades, dude. Yeah. Like I mocked the Louvre in the Wide World episode. I was like, if you come to Paris, don't go to the Louvre. And it's like, I'm lying. It's a joke. You must go to the Louvre. You must go to this like human temple to creativity. Yeah. Go see the fucking Louvre.
Starting point is 00:56:58 I have one tip for travel. It's just don't be an asshole. Like you don't have to go to all the tourist spots, but if you're right near a pyramid, just don't, like don't be an asshole. Like you don't have to go to all the tourist spots, but if you're right near a pyramid, just don't be an ass. Just go to the fucking Louvre, go to the pyramid. Yeah, like take the fucking bus 15 minutes to go see this thing that people
Starting point is 00:57:15 have built their lives around seeing. Like don't ever fucking roll your eyes at a bucket list opportunity, just because you like, you know, want to go to the bar at three instead. What do you wish you had done out there that you didn't do anything? I just wish I knew French more. I could, cause like we stayed with these old people for like three days and I could have
Starting point is 00:57:32 and it was by Normandy, you know? And it's like this guy grew up in the shadow of Normandy. So it's like, if I could have talked to him about like literally anything, You think he was there then? I don't think he was alive for it, but I think that he was a boy when that happened. So like, you know, that I allegedly Normandy beach belongs to America. France gave us Normandy beach because it wouldn't
Starting point is 00:57:52 be Normandy beach anymore without us. Number one. Yeah. Yeah. So there's all these little things like if I could have deeper conversations with people who weren't like completely fluent in English, I could really expand my horizons and leave with like all these
Starting point is 00:58:03 little nuggets that then go into your standup or into your writing. Yeah. You know, the same way you talk to like an old guy at a train station in America and he tells you about like, you know. What life is like there. Yeah, yeah. Well, then right. So you can tell the difference between a Chicagoan and like, like you said, like an Iowa or a
Starting point is 00:58:19 town outside of it, because your English is great. So you can like get their vibes. Yeah, it would be nice to get like a actual vibe off someone if you need that level of what do you speak anything I speak Spanish okay yeah but like if they're talking like fluent Spanish I need them to talk so much slower and we're still not communicating we're like trying to achieve me buying the thing or it's very like surface but yeah no I do most of the stuff on vacation I wanna do.
Starting point is 00:58:46 If you're there, it's like get four hours sleep. Like see the sunrise, you know? Did you see any there? Yeah, for sure. Oh wow. Like in like curated sunrises, like going to see the sunrise come up behind the Eiffel Tower or over the water.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Or like there's a cool building, it's like I kinda wanna see what like, I've seen midday sun on that building, this big glass wall. It'd be cool to see like the dying sun and the rising sun. Dude, no one's in front of the Eiffel Tower before sunrise. No, dude. I shot a photo for this and it's this massive lawn and you're like, wait, nobody's here in the morning? Yeah. There's no Sri Lankan guys trying to sell me the worst wine in the world. That's after sun up.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Yeah. Yeah. The Eiffel Tower lights up at night and does a light show. It's pretty sick. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know the Eiffel Tower lights up at night and does a light show? Mm-hmm. It's pretty sick. I'm like a weeping romantic in the world. Like I want to be moved constantly.
Starting point is 00:59:30 Yeah. And I think that's why I love Paris so much, because like if you're just willing to walk around with your eyes up instead of on your phone, you're going to get hit over the head with something cool. It's such an architecture city. Mm-hmm. Are the other cities like that?
Starting point is 00:59:42 Or not really? Yeah, well there's, I'm from Colorado, which is like Denver was built in like 1960. So like I go to New York or Boston, and I'm like, this place is so fucking old. I go to Philadelphia and I'm like, this architecture is nuts. Cobblestone.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Yeah, so over there, you're in Vaughan or not, and it's like, these places were built a long time ago. Do they have that French, let me see, do you have any of that? Yeah, yeah. Like, do they have that type of like French architecture? Um, I always think it's kind of like that weird, like medieval, like castle architecture. Like, like, uh,
Starting point is 01:00:13 did you stop into a lot of, yeah, like these like Malliard roof places are, they're like all over. There's little step outside of smoke a cigarette while you look down on people. Yeah. These are awesome. Look at that chick taking a picture. Wait, go back to that one. Look at that chick right there. Definitely posing for some. That's my friend Tessa. Oh, she's posing for you. Okay. Okay. But like, look, like this is like a medieval castle.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Like we're inside of the garden. Like this wall over here is like the same chick with a hot foot. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. That's a guy you should see. Yeah. So like we're, we're just eating a little sandwich picnic and this is a medieval tower that like protected the city of not from, you know, yeah. So like this stuff is everywhere and like these, these are turrets up top. We could shoot out arrows. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:03 When invaded, people, that'd be nice. Some, yeah. Yeah. And when invaded, you can go get hit. Or lava on people. Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah. Some hot oil. Don't waste it, you know? I've definitely like been a problem when you tour a castle. Why? Because I'm just up there like, you know, just like, like lobbing fake grenades and shit.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Like they didn't have them then. Like, yeah, who cares? I'm not talking to you. Yeah. It's really fun to try and recreate medieval warfare. Yeah. And then like, and then fun to try and recreate medieval warfare. Um, yeah. And then like, and then just like churches everywhere you go, you're like, Oh, this church was built in the year 700 sick. Do you stop into these places? Yeah, of course. I always walk into a church. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Somebody told me that tip for like appreciating your own life is to close your eyes. Let's say you're in a park somewhere. Let's say Detroit or I don't know, anywhere. You just close your eyes where it's wide open for like five seconds and just imagine you're like, I'm in Switzerland. Switzerland, I'm in Switzerland, I'm in Switzerland. And then you open your eyes and kinda like look at it from like an outsider perspective.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Ooh, I like that. And then you're like, oh yeah, this is so, the way you would look at a church, you pass by them in Detroit all the time. Yeah, yeah. Or Denver or wherever, but like when you're there, you're like, what is this? There's a sheen on it, what is that?
Starting point is 01:02:10 That's the thing is like, I think going abroad has made me, like I was in Springfield, Missouri, and I'm walking around and I'm like- The spot, what is that place? The Blue Room. Loved it. Yeah. Loved it. I know, tit or miss.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Okay. I was on a string of heaters of like three months, like most shows sold out. And I kept telling my feature, Nathan, I was like, we're about to be humbled over there at the Blue Room. Yeah. And sure as shit. We're there for one day.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Maybe that's it. Yeah. But like it is a Route 66 city. So like you walk around and you're like, okay, if I, I'm going to try and experience this place like someone who's coming here for the first time and not someone who's like, had to come here for the last 10 years to collect a check. Yeah, it's a different way to look at it.
Starting point is 01:02:49 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we went to, we started a tour, a bus tour, me, Colum, no, me, Renazzi, me, Renazzi and Ryan O'Neil. He's really, I just met him. He's so funny. Ryan O'Neil. Oh yeah, he rules. Yeah, he's the man. Yeah, yeah. He likes to travel too. He's just I just met him. He's so funny. Who? Ryan O'Neill. Oh, yeah, he rules.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Yeah, he's the man. Yeah, yeah. He likes to travel too. He's just got back from Cambodia. He's got to come on here. Yeah. But like, so we're like, all right, we're starting in Nebraska at Omaha at the club. But I'm like, I've always stayed near that club.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Yeah. But we have the night before. Like, let's go to a different part of town. And you're like, oh, Omaha rules. Did you go to the part of town, like the old part of town where like the streets are made of wood? Oh, I'm talking about over like it's in Omaha. I can't remember the name of it. I think so. Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 01:03:38 We also just see the chef boyardee statue. No, I haven't had the privilege. There's a giant travel. Yeah, we were like, it was right there, we actually missed it, we were like, let's go, we'll go after we drink, and then we didn't. Yeah, but I mean, America has some cool stuff, but a lot of it does look so ubiquitous. It's all the same, which sucks. Yeah, functional, but also from like 100 years ago.
Starting point is 01:03:59 It's built for cars, and that's why Philadelphia's cool, is because there's not cars that were factored into the design of that city. And a lot of these places like dude when we went to Brittany, Britannia we like went on a boat to the little island where we stayed and Cars weren't allowed in the majority of it. So we were all on bicycles. What's this island? What do you mean? Oh, man? It's here. I'm gonna pull up a map. Well, don't tell me what the name of it is But like what was it? I can't remember the name of the island because I'm with a French guy who's like but like what it's all It was just like an like a hangout island. Yeah, I think it was over here big. I'm trying to yeah. Yeah, it's over here
Starting point is 01:04:37 Moline was the name of it and they don't have any Cars allowed so you just have to like get around the, or get around the island on foot or on a bicycle. And that being connected without the car around you makes your trip so much better as well. Oh yeah. Cause you're not looking through windows, the fucking winds in your hair, you're smelling the ocean. There's grass when it's wet, you smell grass.
Starting point is 01:05:02 It's also stop whenever you want. Yeah, yeah. You just stop. Right, and you're like, what's over there? And you're like, I don't wet, you smell grass. It's just stop whenever you want. Yeah, yeah. You just like stop. Right, and you're like, what's over there? And you're like, I don't know, let's walk over there. Yeah, so I like that kind of stuff a lot too. Is there any booze in that part of France that you hadn't like really gotten into much?
Starting point is 01:05:15 They must be winos, right? Yeah, Ricard, you've had Ricard? No. Ricard is this beverage that, it's supposed to be an aperitif, but it tastes like anise, and you're supposed to cut it with water. So they bring you out like a little glass of Ricard,
Starting point is 01:05:32 and they bring you a tumbler of water. Well, I was just drinking the water, and then like fucking white knuckling through this Ricard. How was it? How did it taste? Oh, it was horrific, until an old man was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that over here. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Yeah. But like when we went- Is it like Pernod Ricard? Yeah. It looks like La Manchella? Yeah. So that thing right there on the right is how you're supposed to make it. And it looks like cum, but it tastes really good.
Starting point is 01:05:58 And when we went to get the tattoo and sablé de Orléans, we walk in and it's like that rock and roll foot fetishist guy. And he's kind of like, oh cool, four tourists, you know, I can't wait to put the fucking, you know, Chicago flag on someone. Yeah. And then he was like, do you guys want to drink? And I was like, yeah, do you have any Ricard?
Starting point is 01:06:15 And he was like, Ricard, you like Ricard? And then all of a sudden like that cut through the bullshit, cause he knew that like I'd been around for a little bit. It does look like cum. Yeah. It's a pastis is what it's called. God, I'm getting hard and hungry. Yeah. So the Ricard, um, pastis I think is what they call it. I think it's like an aperitif. You're supposed to drink it before or after meals. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:38 How do you use pastis? And Aperol spritz, I think they roll their eyes at that kind of thing. No, but like that kind of thing where you're like supposed to like get you loosened up to eat more. Yeah, or like fornette or whatever. It's digestif is like afterward to settle your belly and an aperitif is what you have with appetizers. Right.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Yeah. But they just suck them down all the time. Yeah. And then like Beaujolais, the really young wines, I like those a lot because they just kind of taste like fresh. They don't really taste like wine yet. They haven't deepened you. Oh, interesting. Beaujolais delays the wine you're supposed to drink like the year after you make it And they have these big Beaujolais festivals. I think is like certain parts of France
Starting point is 01:07:13 They didn't have storage or like like they needed that wine because it was like the only like Possible drinking beverage. I'm sorry. I thought you meant like the year after you like you hit big no no no like gold record Yeah, you. Exactly. Yeah. You should have had it on your tour bus in Omaha. Yeah. I didn't mean to brag about that. No, I understand. Did you like the tour bus? I loved it. Cool. Yeah. I did it with Tim and I was, it, it has its plus or minuses. It was like summer camp. Yeah. No, I liked it. But Tim was like, you know, we can't park it at the four seasons. It's like,
Starting point is 01:07:43 yeah, you sleep on the bus, Tim. And he's like, oh, like, wait, did you look into this at all? Yeah. No, he kept being like, I was tricked. I was duped. I've been shanghaied. The Jews lied to me. But Beaujolais wine is like super cheap and it's super fresh.
Starting point is 01:08:00 And they just like quaff it. It's for pounding. Really? Yeah. We got to get some Ricard or some Beaujolais in here. We got to start whatever. Ricard's like a really nice, and you can sip it cause it tastes like paint thinner. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:10 So it like kind of makes you temper yourself a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. What's a good booze we should have to be able to sip while we do these sometimes? Obviously a scotch, but like. Yeah. What else can I do that won't get us fucked?
Starting point is 01:08:22 Like a grappa? No, grappa is the definition of fucked bro Yeah, that shit sucks. I did it once with with Sal and I was like once I actually we were doing about Italy It's like I have some grappa. Yeah, go and we got loopy. It's gasoline It's the clear liquids that are like collected after you make wine. No, I like the dark grappa. Okay I like vermouth you should get vermouth in here vermouth would would be good. Pour it over ice, sip on vermouth. That's a good one. Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Vermouth and octopus is maybe my favorite meal I've ever had. We were in Spain somewhere. Some guy was like, you like octopus? And I was like, yeah, and he just brought out a whole octopus that had been grilled with the head on it. Which one should we get?
Starting point is 01:09:02 I like a white vermouth. Let's ask Burt what he wants and grab it before we start. Yeah, the taste is good. A white vermouth. I like white vermouths. Yeah, white vermouths are good. Yeah. I think that's a fine one to have on hand.
Starting point is 01:09:16 And then Ricard's a fun one too. I don't know. What's the one, Negroni's? Negroni's are the classic, like I'm a man who loves the world. Easy, any, sorry. What's the one Negroni's Negroni's are the classic like I'm a man who loves the world. Sorry Yeah, that's an easy cocktail, um, yeah, that's not a bad one What do you think about the hop on hop off bus tour when you get to a new city? Okay
Starting point is 01:09:37 It's a good question I know how I feel. I have a real Fear of and it gets in my way of doing things that are too touristy. I know. And then like the group or the guide, I'm so like no fucking way. Although sometimes it's like, this is the best way to see a thing. So it gets in my way. And then hop on, hop off. Sounds fucking,
Starting point is 01:10:02 especially if you're going to stay more for a week. Like, let me just do a quick one. What's your feelings? I have the same thing. You can sway me. I have the same thing about not wanting to be your typical tourist and looking like a fat pud who doesn't know how to explore. But if you're in like Copenhagen for four days, if you, the first day you get there, you get on that hop on hop off, do the entire loop. Then you can be like, Oh, that's the arts district or like,
Starting point is 01:10:24 look at this park over here. I want to get back to that. So you can be like, oh, that's the arts district or like, look at this park over here. I want to get back to that. So then you're like, yeah, then you can be, you have the map they gave you and you can circle it. And then you know, like the places you want to go explore besides looking at them on your phone. Yeah. So it kind of shows you the entire span of the city. And yes, it is touristy and you're on there with like men wearing like, you know, athletic socks that keep their veins pumping, but still you're seeing everything and it's such an easy way to like know where you want to go with your actual time. And you get it done in like two and a half hours. And then you're done, then you know.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Like if you are a lazy tourist and that's the only way you're going to see the city, that's bad. But if you're using it as a tool to be invested, like be curious later, I think it's, my wife was like, why wouldn't we do this? You see the whole city and then we can explore. And I was like, yeah, but we're not lazy tourists. We're lonely planet people. We're Reddit people. That's where we get our ideas. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's the person I want to be.
Starting point is 01:11:16 But then after being with my wife and I now it's like, okay, we never would have seen this fucking part of the city because it wasn't on lonely planet. It didn't look attractive, but then you see that like, oh okay, yes this industrial area was actually like where they did all the beheadings in Bratislava. And it's like there's no reason you would have gone over there and then you go there and like... Also it's, I read a book about the evils of like algorithms. Not evils is the wrong word, but like the problems with it. And like even Spotify, they're like, okay that's a problem like even Spotify, they're like, okay, that's a problem.
Starting point is 01:11:45 And they're like, why? It's like, because it suggests to you music that you already are going, I'm gonna like this. And it never lets you get in the car with Big Jay, where he'll put a metal song on. You're like, no, I don't like metal. Like, oh wait, I like this one, what is this? And you're, it just never suggests anything to you.
Starting point is 01:12:00 And if like, from the sound of one of those, you're like, whatever you like, you're like, hey, I just tapped into this block. Yeah. I want to go back to this block and see who's cool. Yeah, maybe that's a good tip. I really think that it's a valuable thing to do. Where are they? Just everywhere. They're in like every city and it's that red double decker bus that you see everywhere. And there's the touts trying to get you to come on it. Yeah. And it's like, you should go up to them. No, you don't ever buy off the touts
Starting point is 01:12:24 because they're, they're scamming you. Yeah. They're usually not selling Did you go up to them? No, you don't ever buy off the touts. Cause they're up still. They're scamming you. They're usually not selling you an actual ticket to the bus. I was with Louis in Times Square, and he just kept wasting their time on purpose. And they're like, fuck are you joking? He goes, no man, I'm really interested.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Yeah, yeah, tell me more. So what is ground zero? That's a good tip, get on one of those. And I think the whole thing about you being like, I'm afraid of looking touristy. That's good. You should have that mindset. But then you got to remember that like people have been coming to Paris or Rome to see these like staggering works that are all part of like the fucking threads that make us humans. Like go see those places.
Starting point is 01:13:01 You're not above going to the fucking Coliseum. And like when I first time I went to Rome I was like, why would I want to go to the Coliseum? It's like what are you talking about you idiot? And then you find out that they would like flood it and do like maritime battles in there and like men would be fighting Bears like once you go to the place then you can enrich yourself But this whole rolling your eyes thing is a very dangerous mindset on vacation It also helps me when I realize like there's tourists from this country here as well.
Starting point is 01:13:25 Yeah, yeah. Oh dude. Like in Asia for sure though, like the small town people come in and that's when they see whites and like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah. They want to touch your skin. Yeah. And it's like, oh right. You're not from here. You're from like an hour away. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, cause like I have that chip on my shoulder and I think it's bad. My friend did not. I met in Myanmar. He said he didn't want, he was a photographer guy.
Starting point is 01:13:45 He had one of those long lens ones he didn't want to take cause he wanted to be like the same thing. He wanted to be a tourist. And they're like, oh no, a six foot two white guy would blend right in without the camera. Yeah. So right, he goes, lean in bro. Doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:13:57 That's the beauty. Cause like, I never left America. I never left North America until I was like 26 and it was for our honeymoon. Cause I was scared. Like I'd seen all of America. I'd like been in bands, been on the road with standup. And I was like, I'm an adventurous guy.
Starting point is 01:14:10 But the thought of me not speaking any Italian scared the shit out of me. So I was like, why? We can't go to Italy. I have to learn Italian for six months. I think it was me being afraid. Yeah. And now-
Starting point is 01:14:22 Why does everyone have that? Well, I think it's the thing about like not wanting to look like a tourist. I'm always going to be the biggest dumbest American they've seen that day. Yeah. So as soon as I embrace that and I became a cartoon over there, like it's so much easier
Starting point is 01:14:35 for me now. Just get people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, people like in France, specifically, there's a thing where they'll slap your belly. And like the first time someone did that to me, I was like, really bummed out, you know? And then I realized it was a thing where they'll slap your belly. And like the first time someone did that to me, I was like, really bummed out, you know? And then I realized it was a thing.
Starting point is 01:14:48 And now I'm slapping people's bellies. Really? Yeah. I'll go up and be like, yeah, it's fun. Oh my gosh. And it cuts through the shit. Like if you're slapping a guy's belly, they're like, all right, let's get him a drink. I had this, I, I'm the guy, this has happened to me more than once,
Starting point is 01:15:02 but we just went back to Rome to film Wide World and we went back to the first bar we went to in Rome on our honeymoon, the San Colisto, and I remember standing in front of that bar the first time I'd ever been to Italy, and I was outside, just in this square looking up with a beer in my hand, and this dude came up to me and he's like, why are you sad? And I was like, I'm not sad,
Starting point is 01:15:22 I'm the opposite of sad right now. I've never been here, this is all beautiful, I'm not sad like I'm the opposite of sad right now. I've never been here like this is all beautiful I'm so glad that I'm here And he grabbed the back of my head and just pushed it to his forehead And he said I'm so glad you said that and then I just fucking wound up broing down with these Albanians who also had never Been to Rome and we had the time of our lives And it's like that thing, that like profound moment, if you can then find someone to share that with, who's also experiencing that,
Starting point is 01:15:49 that's the crew you want on vacation. That's the squad you want to link up with. And then you go to a soccer game and you find out that the Lazio team is like the far right, like we need to burn all the mosques team. And you never would have known that unless you're there seeing them fly swastika flags like in the fucking stadium Yeah, then you have a new favorite team. Do you ever get a thing where you're like where people go? I heard in in this place. They do this and you go. Yeah, I heard that too. Then I went that's just not true
Starting point is 01:16:14 Yes, for sure like I didn't see that really like they don't actually eat maggots over there, right? Yeah, yeah a lot of my stuff is like this is where they serve like Cavs head like this is like the underage cow. Like that's the kind of like deep dives. I do is like food you can't get in America cause it's been outlawed. But it's also like Malort's where you're like, sure, they all drink it here and we're like, no, we don't know. We don't. We just make tourists drink it right. Yeah. Mm hmm. They drink more Malort Malort in Chicago than they do here. No, I met Chicago.
Starting point is 01:16:42 Oh yeah. Okay. That's what I'm, But like, do they actually drink Malort in Chicago? Every bartender, and then Frenette's the Denver one. That's like the code. You can be like, hey. But are they actually drinking it consistently, or is it like, like Scotch in Scotland is drunk. Right, right. But like.
Starting point is 01:16:57 I think that the thing, the reason they drink it in Chicago is because if you walk into a bar and you say, hey, can I get a Frenette? Then you're letting them know that you're in the service industry. It's like a little like secret handshake type thing. Also the face you make from Malort is the same face. So it hides the face you make when you realize how just chubby all the women are. So it covers it up.
Starting point is 01:17:18 That's what I heard. I think that it's camouflage. I thought you guys walk a lot. It's funny to see a real fat guy like in Europe and you're like, damn, you didn't have to choose this life. Yeah. You must love cheese. You little fucking bud. Where do you want to go? Where is it?
Starting point is 01:17:40 Where else is on your list now of like places you haven't been that you want to? I want to go to South Korea really bad. Ooh, interesting. Uh, I want to go to? I want to go to South Korea really bad. Oh interesting. I want to go to I want to go to Taipei. What is Taipei, Taiwan? It's in Taiwan. Yeah, it's the city in Taiwan. And I want to film in a wide world in I think it's Alteny or Alkeny, Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan is the biggest country on a map that you don't realize.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Right. So like it's... Oh, this is not... It's over there somewhere. a map that you don't realize right so like it's But the thing about that place is the city yeah Altony or alkeny Yeah The Middle East had it for a while and then Mongolia had it for a while and then China had it for a while and Russia Had it for a while so it's every kind of architecture in one place and allegedly It's one of the safest places in that region if you're a dude like it's like hey if you're a dude Come over have a blast Yeah, all Mahdi over there on the right side above Kyrgyzstan. Oh, Mahdi. Yeah. Yes, well these different places had it damn
Starting point is 01:18:38 That's so it's gotta be so influenced by everything. Yeah. Yeah, and then they also have like that nature deserves Yes, dude, exactly fresh bread fresh bread. You're like damn colonialism then they also have like that nature reserve. Yes, dude. Exactly. Fresh bread, fresh bread. You're like, damn. Colonialism, man. It's a couple good things. Yes. I mean, pho itself comes from pot of pho, which is the French bowl of meat and potatoes. Really? And then they got pho and they made it better and they gave flavor to it. So that's pot of pho is pho. Interesting. Yeah. I want to go there. And I mean, but the thing is, is like, whenever it's, Hey, we're going to go on vacation. It's like, can we, I'm, it's just, can we just go back to Paris?
Starting point is 01:19:10 It's tough to like go back versus like explore new. I know. It's gotta be like 50 50. Well, you're, I don't, the thing about me is like my wife wants to go to Vietnam. She wants to go to Cambodia, but I don't like scooters. I'm really scared on a Vespa. Oh, they rule there. Dude, I know, but it's like a definitive part of it is being, and I'm not gonna fucking ride in a rickshaw and break a guy in half.
Starting point is 01:19:31 So it's like, I could experience these places on foot easily, but like I think to really get to like the core of those places, you have to ride around on those things. You could walk around, I mean, you know, you gotta be in the back of one. Yeah, yeah. At minimum, you gotta be in the back of someone else to get like across town.
Starting point is 01:19:45 Yeah, I almost like wrecked on one when I was a kid. I was like 19, my buddy had a motorcycle. We were blackout in Denver, riding back from a bar. And like, he almost laid it down a bunch. And then when we got off, I was like, damn, we almost died. And he's like, yeah, yeah, that was like the most dangerous thing I've ever done. And like, I have that in my head from almost 20 years ago,
Starting point is 01:20:03 and I'm still scared of it. You gotta get over it. I know. You gotta get over it. I know. You gotta get over it, because it opens up everything. I know dude, I know. So like that's, I think in my 40s when I'm dressing like John C. Reilly in like linen suits,
Starting point is 01:20:13 then I'll go over there. I was somewhere, it's probably Thailand because I was too used to tourists, but I was like up on a mountain and I was coming back on the American side of the road and they're like, yeah, rock out there. And I'm like, yep, yep, got it. Yeah. It's like, you're yeah, I'm like, yep, yep, got it. Yeah. Right. Wrong.
Starting point is 01:20:28 I've had the equivalent of that writing in a rental car that Tim Dylan had in, in Ireland. And it's like, what the fuck? Yeah, not wrong. It's just like, Tim, you're really close on the left side, buddy. You got to get over a little bit. Maybe a mirror was taken off, you know? And then Tim said, it's going to happen. Yeah. All right. Well, I want to go to South Korea.
Starting point is 01:20:49 South Korea. Yeah, that would be a fun. Why, why that? The thing about Tokyo is like it, you're on Mars. No one else has, there's no other white people there and no one speaks the language. So we wake up and you're literally surrounded by no one who looks like you.
Starting point is 01:21:01 And I really liked that experience. And I think South Korea would do that as well. It's also futuristic. Like I like the future cities, you know, where like trains have been incorporated and stuff. I think Seoul, South Korea is like one of the most like forward, like they're living in the future type places. Damn, really? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:17 I wanna get back to Asia so bad. I love Asia. I'm going to Tokyo for Christmas. Oh. Yeah. He keeps pulling at me. And I'm just like going South America, doing other shit, Europe, but like fuck, I wanna get back to Asia.
Starting point is 01:21:28 There's nothing like it. The world's so big and we're so small inside of it. And I love being reminded about like how I don't matter. And that's what travel does for me. It's like, it humbles me and it's cool. I like that. It's like going to a place and it's like, I've been in America trying to make a name
Starting point is 01:21:42 for myself and stand up. And like, you know, there's some results that I'm really grateful, but to go to a place where no one has any fucking idea, not that I'm walking around like Gillis where it's like, Who you are. What do you mean? What do you mean? No one has any idea. I'm going to a place and like me being in this place does not matter at all to the future of this place or the past of this place. Like I'm coming over here and I'm not gonna make a dent on it.
Starting point is 01:22:06 I like having these little memories of a time where you were totally in the wind and I like that. Yeah. But again, I'm like a blubbering romantic about everything. My wife, that's when we get in arguments where I'll be like, I really wanna go to this garden but I wanna go there at this time of day because I heard that there's like a guy who plays piano there.
Starting point is 01:22:27 And she's like, come on, man. You're not, we're not living in the fucking West egg. You know, you're not the great Gadsby. But also, yeah, yeah. She's a lot more of a realist about stuff. But also sometimes those things just surprise, just like you were there and some guy with a guitar shows up and plays like, you know,
Starting point is 01:22:43 plays like flamenco or something. And you're like, bro, what is this shows up and plays like flamenco or something. And you're like, bro, what is this? Flamenco ripped me in half in Spain. Me and my friends and my wife went to see a flamenco show and they were drinking and I was sitting in the front row weeping the entire time. I was just this huge blubbering man in the front row
Starting point is 01:22:58 weeping at a flamenco show for like an hour. Bro, it's a happy thing. You're like, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, my friend literally was throwing peanuts at the back of my head while I'm up front weeping. And I turn around and they're like, bro, it's a happy thing. You're like. Yeah, my friend literally was throwing peanuts at the back of my head while I'm up front weeping. And I turn around and they're laughing and pointing. And I'm like, how are you not, how are you not moved by this?
Starting point is 01:23:14 You ghouls. And then you get mad at them because they're not experiencing the thing the right way. That's the worst thing you can do. Yeah. Yeah. Get in this. Yeah, love it. All right. Yeah, love it. All right.
Starting point is 01:23:28 Yeah, we didn't really like get to the core of the French thing, but I just, I've been, sorry, I've been looking forward to this. Yeah. What else should we have said about France? You know, just eat a lot. Eat a lot. Yeah. What would you, okay, that's a question. Good question.
Starting point is 01:23:40 Where would you, if someone's about to go to not Paris, but like somewhere else in France, what would you like, oh, you should definitely take this with you or do this kind of thing? I think the easiest thing is like, if you're gonna go to the same cafe like the whole time you're there, like if that's your coffee shop,
Starting point is 01:23:58 just don't order a cappuccino after 10 a.m. Because then they know that like, you've done a little bit of, there's all these little things that you can like Just straight espresso. You can get a cup of coffee a carafe of coffee You can get an espresso dude If you go to Italy and you get a fucking like cup of coffee like a regular cup of coffee after 10 a.m They think that you're just a wet pig who wandered out of the stall. It's like what should you do?
Starting point is 01:24:19 Just espresso you go to the counter You never sit down for coffee and in Italy after like the morning you go you go to these counter, you never sit down for coffee in Italy after like the morning. You go, you go to these, you put you on your two euro, you get the espresso, you pound it, maybe put a little bit of sugar in, whip it up, pound it, and then you're gone. I mean, that's not like a super important part. But I love that was, I guess what I would say, now that I think about what I would say with at least in Paris, like any cafe you feel like just sit down, roll a cigarette, get it, get an espresso, sit for a minute, write in your notebook, then move on.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Yeah, linger. Sit there as long as you want because they don't give a fuck. They're not getting tips, they don't care. Yeah, they're not trying to flip that table. Is it like that outside, like on the West also? If a place isn't super busy, then it's not as bad. Like if there's just a cafe in like a small
Starting point is 01:25:05 French town, you can sit there as long as you want because no one's trying to sit in that like prime, because I'm always, I always want the table that's like closest to the street. Corners so you can look at everybody. Yeah, yeah. I just think, I think if you bring just like, I think patience and the ability to like not be
Starting point is 01:25:20 embarrassed is such an important part of traveling in France because they are better than you probably. Like, you know, like they are probably more culturally involved. Oh, here's my French tip. Okay. If you're watching this and you're like, kind of like, oh, I don't know if I'll find,
Starting point is 01:25:33 there's these places called PMUs, which is the off-track bedding places in Paris. And they're the dive bars. And you can see, cause they have a green sign that says PMU and there's like a horse on it and you can buy cigarettes there. You can get beers, you can get coffee, some like bad food, but the PMUs are the dive bars of France and you can go there and you can raise hell and it's totally fine. Those are my favorite places to go. What is the one in England that's in every
Starting point is 01:26:00 train station? It's like the shitty bar bar. Right. Right. Right. With like no seats or whatever. It's got seats, but it's just like, no one wants to go there, which makes it so cool. Cause everyone's just waiting to go home. You're getting an eye opener there before you board the train back. PMU's. Yeah. The PMU. Yeah. Those are the spots where I often, like late at night, if I want to get a couple of drinks with the boys, but we don't want to like go to a place where we're going to be in the way. You go to the PMU, oh, get a pecan beer,
Starting point is 01:26:27 a pecan beer. What is it? Which is a pecan. It's like, it's this syrup. It's a pecan syrup, and they use it for mixing drinks, but if you get a beer and you order a pecan beer, they'll top you with a little bit of that syrup, and it totally changes the beer and
Starting point is 01:26:41 kind of flattens it out and makes it a different thing. Oh. Yeah, yeah. I feel like if you walk into a place in France and order a Ricard or you order a Picon beer, you're cutting through, you're letting them know, this is not your first time in France.
Starting point is 01:26:52 I've been here. I like the shit. I like this shit. I'm drinking the bad stuff. I'm drinking a Calvados, which is their, uh, apple liqueur. And like, that's the shit that like the real red-eyed drunks drink.
Starting point is 01:27:03 And if you like walk in and you're like, can I get a Calvatos? They're like, I'll do one with you, sure. And then they pour one for themselves. That's an easy way to do it. I like the PMU. But just bring patience with yourself. You're gonna look like a fool. And if you can allow yourself to look stupid,
Starting point is 01:27:17 you're gonna have so much more fun in France. That's a good one. Yeah, and never bring up the thing about how they'd all be speaking German. That what? You know, if you're in there and they're like, Oh, you're American. And it's like, yeah, I am American. And you guys would all be speaking German if it wasn't for us.
Starting point is 01:27:31 It's like, you had nothing to do with that. Who would bring that up? I've heard my dumb friends say that. What? I've heard Americans say that a bunch. Like just this like, you know, like that's their reflex is to be like, yes, I am American and you're lucky that I am American. It's like, no one that, that, I am American. And you're lucky that I am American. It's like, no one that that happened so long ago. It wasn't the blood that you're the blood
Starting point is 01:27:49 of the Germans wasn't on your hands. You know, like you did nothing to help them. Also, it's everyone's moved past those things to their next. Yeah. Yeah. Their next problem. They're trying to forget about that stuff because it was a genocide that happened in their backyard. And meanwhile, we're like, but it's like Vietnam. You're like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, no, you guys are cool now. We hit the Chinese. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 01:28:07 The Chinese we loved back then. They were helping us. But, oh, we don't care. We got a couple flipper arms too many. But wish it hadn't done that. You should see us in the pool though. We're unstoppable. But yeah, you guys aren't encroaching on our maps.
Starting point is 01:28:19 Yeah. All right, Sam. Well, thanks, buddy. Thank you, yeah. I'm glad to be here. South Korea, Seoul, I wanna go Sam. Well, thanks buddy. Thank you. Yeah. Glad to be here. South Korea Seoul. I want to go there and I gotta do that. That's the problem. It's like the Paris is one of those cities. There's like a few cities in the world, Tokyo, Paris, where it's not just a bustling hub. It's specific. Yeah. Um, New York possibly. Um, but like Chicago is just,
Starting point is 01:28:44 it's great. It's just a big city. It's got some feel, Denver's got a bit of a cow town feel, but it's just a big city. And then Tokyo is just a wild other thing. Paris is a wild other thing. So you wanna just stay right there, but oh, there's so much more. You can have more than five days.
Starting point is 01:29:00 It's like Melbourne. I would love to go to Melbourne and live there for a long time. I'm going back in July to do Australia and New Zealand. But like, if I could just be in Melbourne, like doing that for two weeks, but you're just going to a white city. Like, you know, like you're not like enriching, you're just like living in a
Starting point is 01:29:16 piece of comfort. It's too little America. It's like, all right, how should I get another flat white? Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, you guys do it slightly different here. I just wanted a tour. Once I found out there were one shot flat whites, I was like, let's go.
Starting point is 01:29:29 It's the best coffee in the world, I think. It's so good. It is Australian. They know how to make it. I mean, Ecuador coffee was fine, but Australian coffee was so fucking good. They ship it out there. Australia, they keep it.
Starting point is 01:29:38 You think, nobody wants your stupid Vegemite, bitch. No. Yeah, keep all your shit. I mean, I like Vegemite. Yeah. But again, I'm a mutant. Yeah, keep all your shit. I mean, I like Vegemite. But again, I'm a mutant. Yeah, I try. Every time I go, I try at like an airport.
Starting point is 01:29:50 I'm like, yep, still don't. All right, Sammy. Hey, thank you. Guys, check out Wide World. It's the best travel show on the internet. That's kind of you. Thank you. It's fun.
Starting point is 01:30:02 And I don't know. It's just a fun watch. It's doable. It's not aspirational. If we did it, you can do it. Yeah. Yeah. Simone has this idea of a Steve Simone of getting three fat guys driving around the city and then just no Google maps or anything. Just go, you get each, get one pick a day of where we eat. And so if you're like, Ooh, that's my pick tomorrow, I like that. Though you don't know anything about it. Like that looks good. I want that. And then just go and you could do normal shit.
Starting point is 01:30:26 Yeah. You want some chance upon, oh, that's the place to go. Or you might be like, Oh, it's a new, you want adventurous fat guys though. You want adventurous. You don't want to go to Sizzler, you know, like the Chinese buffet is not the chance you got to have a no chains rule. Yeah. And not, I was like, uh, and not even like the regional approximation of a chain. Like you can't go to Taco Cabana, you know?
Starting point is 01:30:46 Even though they don't have it in Wyoming. Yeah. All right, guys, yeah, check that out. What's the name of your book that I read? Running the Light. My favorite thing about Running the Light is the comments on the audio version of I didn't realize that comedians are illiterate.
Starting point is 01:31:03 I know, dude. Yeah, you are illiterate. I know dude. Yeah, you did a good job. I did an okay job. I wish I had read it twice through first and then done it. Well people will be like, hey, why didn't you get people who can read to read it or have them redo it?
Starting point is 01:31:16 And it's like, all these people did me a huge favor and they didn't receive a dime from it. So maybe everyone shut up and enjoy it. Yeah, it was a cool way to do it. Yeah, it was fun, it was was smart that's coming out March 25th and paperback from Random House running the light yeah they're putting it out in like all English speaking places and they're translating it to French and Spanish yeah how do you say piece of shit in another language other languages a lot
Starting point is 01:31:40 of piece of shit stories in there nerd nerd is shit forde is shit for French, merde, I think. Do you have any cigarettes? You wanna smoke one? Yeah, let's go roll one up. All right. Doesn't count, we're talking about travel. Yeah, and your chubby behemoth podcast. Anyway, I'll put all this in later.
Starting point is 01:31:54 Thank you very much, everybody. This is a great show, keep watching it, it's awesome. I love it. Yeah, we keep going to new places. Nominee, fuckin' travel of the year, 2025. All right, bye. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, how do you say goodbye in French? Au revoir.
Starting point is 01:32:10 Au revoir. Fucking nailed it. That is the episode everyone. Thank you very much Alan Caffe for editing this. Thank you for your mom's house for producing this. And all the poor people who have supported Tom to the point where he can now support his poor comedian friends, Ari Shaffir.
Starting point is 01:32:27 I'm doing this in a hotel room in San Jose. This is a city you should die in. This is not a city you should like hang out in. It's actually kind of cool, but tons of Asians. Oh, you see the rebel Asian chicks too where they're like, I'm not going to wear my mask at the boba place. You guys can wear your mask. These Americanized Asians, it's pretty funny, they're like the new version.
Starting point is 01:32:47 It's like, Rebecca, you can wear your mask. I'm not, oh, fuck it. Oh, Seung, you're gonna not do it. They have like half like super American names, then half of them have like still like the Seung shit like that. It's pretty interesting. Asian town and the orange sauce.
Starting point is 01:33:04 Okay, listen, give me the orange sauce. Sure. Also give me some other salsa. I sprayed diarrhea from an Iguana burrito. Oh sprayed it last night. Woke up. You ever wake up with diarrhea going like I can make it to the morning and then you're like and you go back to... Nope, I was wrong. Just get it out. Sprayed, bro. Thank you for subscribing to this. Wherever you're listening or watching, subscribe on Spotify if you're watching right now,
Starting point is 01:33:33 listening right now. Subscribe on YouTube if you're watching right now. Get my t-shirts, I have t-shirts, grinders, I have some signed vinyls. I went down to Nashville, I went to the shop, and I signed some vinyls, signed some grinders. You can get those online. Wherever you are living, They'll send your stuff grinders vinyls
Starting point is 01:33:48 Just stay positive shirt go for a hike shirt the Ari cat shirt Lit riser graphs from the juice special I don't know what else oh and I'm starting a Starting a newsletter. So first one should go out maybe this week. Sign up at rechefair.com. And get all my tour shows.
Starting point is 01:34:14 Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, and Seattle. Coming up. Seattle, April 3rd. Vancouver, April 4th, Friday, get tickets for that. God damn, I'm excited to get back to Vancouver. Calgary on the 5th and Edmonton on the, oh, Edmonton on the 5th, Calgary on the 6th. Maybe, one of those two.
Starting point is 01:34:41 Orlando and Fort Lauderdale this Wednesday and Thursday and Sunday. One-only show Sunday, I think it's already sold out. So you pretty much, late show Wednesday in Orlando, late show Thursday in Fort Lauderdale. That's it, guys. I'm going on vacation. Anchorage in June.
Starting point is 01:34:59 Only gonna do one show there and it'll sell out. So it's up to you. I guess let's get back to the episode. Oh Sam Talent he's got his new book Running the Light not his new book his old book with a new forward by Doug Stanhope he's being republished by Penguin Random House that never happens with authors you guys it legitimately never happens they took a look at his legs and go hey you need a second you got a second hamhawk with your short shirts. His shorts go like at an angle down. It's weird. Most shorts kind of go straight across down.
Starting point is 01:35:30 His are angled down because of his thighs being so disgusting that he shows up all the time. The goat. Sam Talent, the goat. Um, he is great. The Toad's Morale out right now. But get, buy the book right now. Guys, it's a big deal for this book. And if you've never read it, it's time to read it. Rarely do comedians actually write new fiction. They just write their memoirs or stories about whatever.
Starting point is 01:35:59 It's like, I remember making fun of Stan Ho once I came over to the book. I was like, oh, is it a novel? He goes, no, it's like a book of essays about myself. I know, that's what every comic does, except Sam Talent. Sam in Vancouver, Houston, Kansas City, Lexington, Iowa City, Omaha, Glasgow, here we fucking go, London, Manchester,
Starting point is 01:36:16 Totem, London I mean, Amsterdam, Portland, Maine, Eugene, Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, Auckland, Perth, Dayton, Salt Lake City, Charlotte, New Brunswick, Tim, Eugene, Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, Auckland, Perth, Dayton, Salt Lake City, Charlotte, New Brunswick, Timonium, tickets are sam, T-A-L-L-E-N-T.com. And now for my recommendation of the week. Oh, I had one and then I lost it.
Starting point is 01:36:38 Mickey 17, pretty good fucking movie, weird. Pretty good movie though. It was by the guy who did, I guess he had done some other American movies before, but he did Parasite, which I thought was great. I thought that was his first movie, but it was not. I've been doing a bunch of them. It's like one of those that's full of metaphor
Starting point is 01:36:59 and I didn't get it all. You ever leave a movie and pretend like you got it all, but then you actually did not get it all but you had to pretend like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I didn't get it all. Still enjoyable movie and the guy from Twilight was pretty fucking good. Anyway that's my recommendation for the week. Guys continue sending in your postcards from around the globe. In fact I brought one here with me and I will now read it because I
Starting point is 01:37:26 didn't put it up on my wall but here we go. It's from Costa Rica, a place I went to once in 2017 with my family. We took my dad there for his birthday. Just the main main station of years. You got that? You hear that? That's the San Jose National Anthem. Got that? Hear that? That's the San Jose National Anthem. It's like these tech bros here, it's fucking weird. Dear Ari, Costa Rica is this, is the same rowdy jumble
Starting point is 01:37:58 as the last time I visited 14 years ago. San Jose is a city like any other. It'll be nice to get out into the wilds. You're something fan, LGK. Nice, bro. Yeah, I barely went to San Jose at all when I went there, but it was great. We saw this kid.
Starting point is 01:38:24 We took a tour of the jungle, that's what you you do and we're like do we ask the guys like you ever get sick of like seeing monkeys and he goes yeah and sloths he goes yeah whatever but what I really want to see because I've never seen one but I want to really want to see is a deer and I'm dude, we have deer in where I live all the time and we have unbelievable wealth and a colonialist society, like a vibe of like, we'll go into your nation and take it over. We have bravado, we have wealth, we have overpriced eggs that most of us legitimately don't care about. They raise the price of eggs. A lot of people are screaming, I'm not. I didn't even notice it went up
Starting point is 01:39:08 because I don't look at the price of eggs. I'll look at it once a year. I'll be like, wait, was it always 10? It seems high. And then another time I was like, oh, four, I don't know. Guys, I get the fucking Jerry's eggs, the organic free range shit. I like that orange.
Starting point is 01:39:24 I like the orange in there and I'll pay extra for it So when they raise the price of eggs, I was like, I guess I don't care. That's what we have Costa Rica. That's what we have Anyway guys, thank you very much Andrew Schultz will be on the podcast next week. I'm not sure exactly where we are going I'm not sure exactly where we are going I've got an idea for a non just straight place, but we'll see what he wants to do, but excited to have him on And that's it subscribe wherever you listen to Always for that comfort. Goodbye everybody till next week Avva
Starting point is 01:40:14 Nail that one Au revoir!

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