You Be Trippin' - Germany & France w/ Jason Ellis | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

Follow Jason on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/wolfmate/ SPONSORS: -Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/trippin , all lowercase See Jason on tour at http://www.thejasonellis.com/tour On this episode of You Be Trippin, Jason Ellis starts a riot, gets tear gassed, and gets dragged behind a car in Germany (but actually France). He and Ari talk about skateboarding, getting wasted, and why Andrew Dice Clay hates him. Also, he smashed a beer mug over his head, his friend’s dreadlocks caught on fire, and Jason had to fight a pro surfer who was trying to kill people. Other topics include: Australians, success, skate contests, bloody hands, and celibacy. Oh naur! You Be Trippin' Ep. 61 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:09 - Ari Got Into a Fight with Jason 00:07:14 - Münster Skate Contest & A Bloody Hand 00:11:15 - Tony Hawk in France & Dreadlocks Caught on Fire 00:17:50 - A Riot Breaks Out 00:32:17 - Skating, Getting Wasted, & Australia 00:37:55 - More Skating & Jiu Jitsu 00:42:35 - Andrew Dice Clay & His Old Show 00:45:30 - Where Next & Fighting a Pro Surfer 00:51:19 - People Hating on Success 00:56:01 - More Australia, Celibacy, & Melissa Etheridge 01:00:02 - Travel Tips, Cigarettes, & "Naur" 01:02:16 - "Naur" & Footie Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Especially in California, there's so many AA people like, yeah, you can smoke weed. And you're like, no, I can't. California sober? Yeah, I was about to say that. I'm like, why are you putting California in front of it? You're not sober. Just relax.

It's OK to not be sober, but don't try to join my gang. You're not in it. Yeah. I just do shrooms and weed because you're not sober. Yeah. You're like, good for you for not drinking, but stop saying that. This is what the turfs are, where they're like,

you're not a woman. You're not a man anymore, but don't act like you had your period the same year I did. It's just like call us something else. Oh, shit. Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're gonna talk about travel today. It's UB Trippin', yeah.

Welcome to UB Trippin', everybody. Welcome back. It's a travel podcast if you've never watched before. Every week I have a guest that takes us to a different place. It's the only podcast, maybe with 100% real bone marrow. And today the guest is former top 10 skater in the world. Yeah. And fuckin' crazy fighter. and now stand-up comedian Jason Ellis. I gotta do a fight

with you about you on Rogan. You did? Yeah. Because you're talking shit on me, right? No. No. In the past you have talked shit. You told Lewis that you would beat me because I'm an old man. But I was like keep talking dude. You're making him fall into a trap. I was like, yeah, no, I'm real old, dude. That's what it is, yeah. Well, my truth is not truth of words. My truth is getting where I think I want to get there.

Oh, well then, because I was like, wow, you really think that I can't fight? No, I just want that fight happening. I want to see Lewis die in the ring. So like, I hope he doesn't watch us. So yeah, I wanna instigate. I wasn't gonna kill him. But yeah, you do this with your manager,

it goes, it's not magnetic. No, your name came up and I was like, it was the fuck, whatever, I forget what we were talking about, but I was like, he used to be like a top 10 skateboarder. And Norman was like, no, no way. He skates so great. Yeah, I know. No way, I'm like, really?

I thought he was. He goes, no, I'm like, well, you know skating, so I guess I'm wrong. No, I think your discussion was about street invert. Maybe that's it. And he was like, because I'm not a street skater, I'm a terrible street skater. But you were top 10 invert.

I was top three. Top three, that's what I looked up. I was so mad later, because I was like, I can't be wrong on this. No, you weren't. But that's what I looked up. Yeah, I was so mad later cuz I was like I can't be wrong on this No, you weren't But that's half pipes. Yeah. Yeah, and and marks a street skater. Yeah true. So yeah, he was right You were both just you were arguing about the incorrect things He was like he is not a top ten streets getting it's like you're very right

I am NOT but am I was I a top 10 verse skater? Fuck yeah, for over 10 years. That's crazy. Anyway, but now you're a stand-up comedian. Yeah. And a hobbyist at skating. Yeah, pretty much. I'm still pro, because now I'm sober,

I can skate good again. I did a fucking 540, I did a backside 540 a year ago. Yeah. And it's the grab, the backside 540, I'm the oldest person to do it. You video that? 52, fuck yeah. You did a video?

I did it in a demo. Send it, send me, send me. In front of everybody. Wow. It's on my, I saved it on my Instagram. When you're hitting a trick, how do you go, hey everybody, look at this next one, I'm gonna do something rad.

Like that's what I'd wanna be like, stop talking. Well that one, cause I started skating again and I was getting a couple of my old tricks back, but not all of them, cause I'm not as fast as I was. And the other thing is like when you're 52, I can kind of, and I'm fitter now, cause I used to drink, I was a drunk pro skateboarder. So then, so now I'm almost as quick as I used to be,

but I don't skate as much, cause I can't, if I skate every day, I probably wouldn't be able to walk because the wear and tear it'll just start to wreck me. So I start every now and then at a demo, I'd spin a five 40 and some people be like, dude, that was pretty close. And I was like, I know, right? That was crazy. And then at this particular demo, I spend one that day and I was like, Ooh, I saw the landing. Cause I, when you, when you do a five 40, you have to look and then you turn your back to the ramp. So then you come back around and you look at your landing.

And I was so old and rusty that I could never really see the landing. So I was like, maybe I'll make it, but 50, 50, like getting knocked out at 52 is not cool. Yeah. But that day I was like, Oh, I saw it. And then there was another guy that's as old as me or just like a year younger, who's still really good. And he was like, you saw it, didn't you? I was like, I did. He's like, when'd you put one down? I was like, because if I put it down wrong and I get knocked out, like, did you mean like,

if I break my shit right now, I don't know if I'm into that. Then I'm up skating again for a while. But then I put one down and I was like, Oh, I could make that. And then everybody in the demo, I was the announcer and everyone was like oh I could make that and then everybody in the demo I was the announcer and everyone was like give me the fucking microphone Alice make that fucking trick right now and I was in a big demo like a big crowd yeah so the crowd was hyping me can't say no to a chant yeah they're doing it you're like no no I guys I can't if they all check like okay I'm gonna try it's true I'll

kill myself right now cuz this chant that's what happened yeah I'm ready to die at one point I actually slammed twice, I tore my groin and I was under the ramp and I was like, it's over and it's like, Ellis, Ellis. And I was like, fuck it. Just fucking one more time in your life. I made it. I cried. And a couple of other guys that were there were also crying too because they were like, when you're 50 dude and you do a trick like it my trick I was like seven foot above a fucking 13 foot high vert ramp Spinning a 540 you do that wrong come out you could die

Dude, like when you're 52 if you over rotate on a 540 and 20 back on the back of your head You could at my age you could die and I made it and I was like that's More than likely the last time I'll ever do that over your written a and I still I have the board the whole setup because it's like it's super special to me yeah yeah or I'll sell it depending on how much because I need the money last major it's like yeah dude for sure fuck yeah and and that there's a few people there that knew that like when Tony found out he immediately called me it was like, dude, because it was, it was the last time we did a 540 was 20 years ago. I love how supportive skaters are instead of going like, I want to be the best. They're

just like, nice one. Especially, especially us, dude. Like, cause it's like, there's probably like 10, 15 of us that are in their fifties that still skate vert. The rest of us are gone, dude. Tom Schar was on here in this podcast. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, I asked him, he came to see me at the Village Underground afterwards, and I ate a dick. Yeah. It was so bad.

I saw him afterwards, I was like, hey, so, thanks for coming. He was even looking at it, I was like, good job. But like, he wasn't selling it. No, he didn't, no, he didn't. That dude is a fucking, he is gnarly man. Yeah but I asked him, he reminded me to drink it, I asked him, he's like next time you're in New York you drink it all and he goes no. I'm like oh well alright well we'll go for a walk or something. But

it was like oh you're committed and that's why you're top. He should not drink for at least another decade because he is on the cutting edge. He's like the top two ver dudes in the world. That's so cool. Yeah. He's a fucking freak right now. Nice guy too. Right? Just pleasant, nice dude. Yeah, he's the best. I love that guy. We're going to take us now for something to do with your skating. Yeah. Where, where, where do you want to go? Where are we headed? So I went to... started in wear and got to wear. So this is, is, I was 19 and I was on a skateboard company when vert skating, cause you're going to figure this out on this fucking podcast.

Vert skating had took a huge shit and it was very unpopular. So when I was one of the best up and coming vert guys in the world, uh, the skateboard sponsor that I had planet earth were like the, the Munster cup in Germany is on. The Munster Cup? Yeah, Munster. Munster, Germany. It was...

Oh, Munster. I thought it was like Monster Energy. No, this is before Monster existed. I'm very old. They couldn't afford to fly me there. So I paid for my own ticket and I stayed on the floor in someone else's hotel room to be in this Vert contest. And at this point you were ranked where? None. Zero. Okay. People knew me,

if you were a Vert dude you knew me, but I was just some little rat and I got fifth in the world. So like I beat everybody. Like all the big up-and-comers, Danny Way's, all those guys, I beat them. I remember Danny Way's. was a huge, that was a bit like, hey, I'm on the scene now. After the contest, like when I was in the contest, nobody knew me. After the contest, like immediately after as I'm leaving the ramp, everyone's like, Alice, Alice, like Tony Hawk knew me, like everybody knew me in and under an hour. Wow. And I was like, I fucking made it. Wow.

And people, what they didn't know is I'm from Australia and I grew up as a fucking raging alcoholic without knowing it at the time. So when I got- Because it's Australia, that's just normal. And people are like, I don't drink. And you're like, you've had four tonight. Like, yeah, just four though.

Nobody had four, that's insane. What the fuck? That's your version of not drinking there. You're like, you have a disease if you had four. Like, there's something wrong with you. So I got, we went to a bar in Germany, and I got immediately pounding beers in those big beer mugs. And we're fucking drinking, pounding.

And I'm on the top. I'm on cloud nine, man. I got fifth in the world. Everybody knows me. People are talking about sponsorship deals and stuff. And I got real drunk, and we were raging, and I fucking smashed a beer mug over my head, like just to celebrate, you know? They're so thick though.

Yeah, well, so am I. Okay. So I go, pshh, and someone, like, because glass shatters everywhere, and someone goes, did you just smash it over your head? And I go, yeah. And this other dude,

I think it was Jeff Kendall, another legendary pro skateboarder goes, Ellis, like yeah, and holds a beer mug in front of me. And I just went whoosh and fucking punched it and smashed it everywhere. What's wrong with you? And everyone goes, fuck yeah, Ellis. And I'm like, fuck yeah.

And then all of a sudden blood is squirting out of my fingers. And I'm like, oh shit. And it's like big gouges, which hand is it? Cause there's still scars all over it from it. Yeah, it's this one. What? So there's flaps of skin on my knuckles, like sticking off and blood squirting out.

And I'm like, oh shit. So my team manager at the time is like, dude, we've got to get you to hospital. And at one point I go to get in a taxi, and the taxi goes, no way, because I got blood squirting in my hand. Fair, fair, I'm on his side. Yeah, so then we found a plastic bag in a trash can

to put my hand in a plastic bag. Just to get a cab. Because nobody would take me, because there was blood squirting there, and I'm drunk, I'm a drunk Australian guy. Oh, mate, let me get in the taxi to go to hospital. You know, no one would let me. I go to hospital. They give me like no one's. It's fucking Germany. No one speaks English.

They stabbed me with those needles and I sober up real quick when that needle goes in the first knuckle. They sew me up. I got a cast on. Well, not a cat. I got a sling on cause they want me to keep my hand elevated. And then, uh, I blew my left knee out. So no, no, no, in the contest, I went in the next contest. So we fly from Germany to the Grand Bernard, France. And it's like an old, it's like a weird like farm town. Like not-

And they have skating there? have it they had a rant not i don't know if it was permanent maybe it was what's it called grand le grand bernard grand bernard france here we go hey guys let me break in real quick to tell you a little bit about our guest today mr jason ellis he's a world renowned skateboarder, literally top three in the world, advert. On a recent episode of Protect Our Parks, Mark Norman incorrectly admonished me saying, how dare you? Well, he didn't say it like that. He said like, autism. He said he was never top ten. He was way wrong. He was totally top ten. He was third in the world, advert. And he's like, maybe I said skateboarding. Sure, sure, sure. Maybe he meant street. Maybe he meant street. But that doesn't give him the excuse for that attitude.

I don't think so. Jason Ellis has moved on to be a start a career in mixed martial arts. He was also featured in Jackass, which is one of the best credits ever had. And he's also now a podcast. He's got two podcasts, the Jason Ellis show and Hawk verse wolf that he knows with his good friend Tony Hawk He's also a stand-up comedian. He's gonna be on the road in You can get all tickets for him at Jason Ellis the Jason Ellis comm April 30th is Zany Chicago then in Nashville, Tennessee on May 1st, Miami May 21st Ocala, Florida May 23rd

Vancouver or numerous Westman June 13th and 14th Capitol Ballroom of Victoria June 15th and five shows of the comic strip in Alberta Edmonton shows of the comic strip in Alberta, Edmonton, June 19th through the 21st. Denver Comedy Works August 6th! Congratulations, best club in the world. In Plano, Texas August 7th. All tickets are available at thejasonels.com. For myself, I'm off tour. My tour is finished. No, actually I have one more gig in Anchorage, Alaska June 18th. Get tickets at rechevier.com and my storytelling show.

This, well, this, this storyteller show is still happening April 20th, 21st, 22nd in New York city. If you want to get tickets, guys dress up. Don't dress up in a weird costume. Somebody said he was going to wear a Hitler outfit. I'll turn you away at the door. You fucking idiot. It's not about you. Um, but where's something fun? Where's suit? If you want, I'll turn you away at the door, you fucking idiot. It's not about you. But wear something fun. Wear a suit if you want. It's up to you. To the box in New York City, April 20th, 21st, 22nd.

Get tickets at rechevier.com. Do not get two tickets for the same night. You're only allowed in for one show per night, but that's it. A few more tickets just put on sale. For every show, we looked at the seating chart, we were able to add 20 tickets per show. So get tickets right now for that.

And subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. If you're on YouTube, please subscribe and get trying to get up to 200,000 subscribers by the end of the year. Whatever you're doing right now, hit that little subscribe button. May as well, why not? This is a great episode.

Let's get back to it. Jason, take us to Germany. Oh, that's the competition. That's the, that's the town. Okay. In France, 1991, grand burnout. There it is. Different place. So 1991, I love an old, I love an old, I'll never forget. I drop in and I'm thinking I'm fucking shit hot now. It's like Switzerland, yeah. Because I got fifth in the world.

Yeah. And I remember Tony Hawk's on the ramp. I don't know Tony that well. And I drop in. Was he already Tony Hawk by then? Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah, and not to the world,

because there was no video game, but to us, he was the guy. Wow. He was undefeated. You could not beat him. And I drop in, I did a back sit-in, doesn't matter what that is, but I did an aerial near him and he goes,

Jason Ellis is gonna win! And I thought he said that to fuck with me. But he's just being positive, Tony? Yeah, and when I tell him this story, he still laughs. He's like, you idiot. I was just like, good for you. Like I'm so- That's so great when a legit compliment

is taken as an insult. He's mind-fucking me. Like, because he's worried that I'm gonna beat him. I'm like, he's's not worried you're an idiot oh man that's funny 1991 he was not but I blew my knee out and so somebody gave me crutches so that I use crutches and took my hand off the sling to use the crutches so then we're in this town drinking and there was a bar and there's he boozing back there. Fuck no. Now he was he was in a hotel. He

did not know about any of the things that were about to pop off. Okay. So we're in this town. All I know is how it started is there's this dude, Craig Johnson, who was like a real big guy and he's old school 80s pro. And that's back when people, it's kind of like the first wrestling guys, like how they did coke and drank and did the sport. Now there's like people that stretch and ice things. Yeah, that's the Tom Schar's of the world now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, oh, you're smart, you're committed. They're athletes. These were like guns and roses, but skateboarding. Dave Ruth drinking it, bringing it to the third inning. Full tilt and Craig Johnson was the third inning full tilt. And Craig Johnson was the animal of them all. He had such crazy dreadlocks that he cut a hole out of his helmet.

Yeah. Or no padding in his helmet. What's that Chris Johnson, Craig Johnson. So he used the dreadlocks as padding for his helmet and he would roll it up in the back. So it would stick out the back of his head real long. And he's playing, he's playing pool in this bar and there's these lamps that are around the wall and He's standing there and the the dreadlock caught on fire from the lamp and he puts it out Someone's like Craig your heads on fire. He puts it out

Then that's the treads there it is. Yeah He was a monster dude like that's his graphic cuz it was just like a skull He puts it out. Then. That's the treads, there it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, look at that hair. He was a monster, dude. That's his graphic, because it was just like a skull. He was like metal, like proper metal guy. But it catches on fire again, right? And he freaks out and grabs the lamp out of the wall and yanks it, and the cord comes out of the wall.

And he starts pulling the cord all the way around the bar like pulling the the plaster out just drunk just raging and then they're like you're gonna get the fuck out and he's like fuck you and then some beers smash and then next thing you know there's a fight and it breaks out and people are punching locals and locals are punching skaters and we're out there i'm i'm standing because I can't punch anything. I'm just like, whoa, this is crazy. And I'm blacked out. A lot of us are all blacked out already. Next thing you know, we're out on the street and we won't leave and they're trying to, the police are trying to get us to leave and we're like, we're not going to fucking leave. Fuck you.

And then riot police show up and I'm like, police dude I'm super drunk so I don't really know at one point I was chasing a guy that we didn't like in skateboarding his name is Ryan Monahan if I ever Ryan if I ever I'm sorry dude yeah but skateboarders were telling me that we had to kill you so we were walking around saying kill Ryan Monahan. He's a skater too? Yeah he had a bad style so we were gonna kill him for that. And I had a good style. This is a bad style? Yeah, yeah, it's real bad. That is the worst sad plant ever.

No, it's a good sad plant. I'm sorry. So the drunk logic is so, I just wanna know it all, cause you're like, wait, how'd you get to anger from this? Like, cause it's shit sometimes. Yeah, cause at first when we were sober, we were like, yeah, Ryan Monahan sucks. But then when we got drunk, we were like, let's kill Ryan Monahan. And he didn't deserve to die. Like he's a nice guy

as far as I know. I never really met him. So I'm on the hunt for Ryan Monahan. And then I come back out onto the street and we're barricaded by riot police with the shields. They're all there to take you guys. Yeah. this is small quaint It's quite like there's like castles and stuff right here, Geneva It's we are fucking assholes We're the worst people in the world and it's all Americans and everyone's just like you're an American basically Because I'm with the pros and this is where you had a fucking riot this fucking quaint ass down. Yep. Yep. We Don't think they ever had us back for some weird reason.

I mean, they don't even have black people. They're not used to it. I didn't say one. Maybe we brought one, but that's about it. There might not have even been one with us. We were all pretty racist at the time too. Not racist, but you know what I mean? Skateboarding.

Black vert skaters, there was like three. Yeah. So I remember at one point these riot police were like we're like these guys are full of shit and I did the fucking Like here's me dick and here's my here's my ass like slapping everyone's like yeah I mean and I remember crutching out like towards them people like whoo Cuz you know you're getting in within if they have all their sticks and shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah everything So we just we just talking shit thinking it's no big deal. What a dumb fuck.

And then at one point the mayor of the town, they get a police van and they put a speaker on the police van and the mayor of the city gets up on the van and has a microphone and speaks English and says, if you don't all go back to your rooms right now, you will all be arrested and put in jail for a minimum of three days. And we were all leaving the next day. And this dude, I think I can say his name because it's been a long time.

He ended up being a police officer, I believe, but it's a skateboarder named George Watanabe. Oh, we don't know the name. George got on top of the van, pushed the mayor out of the way, grabbed the microphone and said, let's fucking trash this place. Let's fucking go wild. And we were like, yeah. And we all started rioting. You know what I mean? Like ripping the stores apart and going bananas. Then tear gas bombs. No. Yeah. These dudes are ready for a riot. They've been training

and have no chance to do it. They were, they must have been pumped because we were dumb and drunk and stupid. And foreign. Yeah. Like nobody, this is, nobody's father here is gonna call me. I see the thing go ding-da-ding-ding-ding and I'm like cool. The tear gas? Yeah and I'm like whoa what's that like? And then I see people start put t-shirts over their face and I'm like, Oh shit. Okay. So I put the t-shirt over my face and I'm like, what are we doing now? You know? And then they start moving in with those shields together side by side, you know, getting closer to us. And I'm like, Oh shit. Like they're gonna, when they get to me, they're gonna beat me. Yeah. So I'm standing there. I mean, at this point I'm like, oh shit, like they're gonna, when they get to me, they're gonna beat me.

Yeah. So I'm standing there. I mean, at this point, I'm kind of on their side. Oh yeah. You know, I'm friends with you, but I'm like, yeah, this dick had to be dealt with. We're fucking assholes. There was not one part of it where we were cool.

There was a break dancing war that happened right before that, where there was some French rappers and then Sluggo is Canadian he was the Canadian breakdance champion before he was a pro skateboarder and these guys are doing their little back spins and shit and then Sluggo gets in and starts doing helicopters and fucks these French people up. Fuck your French person. And we're like yeah that's what you get Frenchie and then one of the French guys stuck his leg in there while sluggo was doing the helicopter and we all just piled these guys started I went to run to beat him up and he they disappeared before I got there I was like

oh he's taken care of that seems like that's against code for break dancers right that's like it's the one thing that the French did that day that was in everything else we were in the wrong. Yeah, so anyway, there's tear gas fucking going off everywhere. Get just get served Yeah, it was stopper serving. It was so bad. We were here What did you guys feel like? Well, I was so wasted that I was waiting for it to kick in but I had the thing Over my face. Yeah, but as the clouds start to like smoke up everywhere, a car comes raging through the crowd like some piece of shit old car. And people like, look out, look out and a car comes riding by. And I'm like, fuck that because I

can't run. I can't walk really. So I just lean over and grab the back of the car and let go of my crutches and get dragged off down the street on my knees and I don't I don't know I'm like what I thought it was a mastermind plan well you told me this I assumed you meant I held on on my board to the back of a car no out of there no I had no skateboard no I'm just dragged on mine on mine on my body. You gotta show me. Yeah, I've got... Bryce Knyas, so this is the craziest thing.

Bryce Knyas is a legendary pro skateboarder who's also became a photographer and is like one of the more famous photographers. Is that a normal thing? That transition? Yeah, because what else are you gonna do? You're there anyway and you're like, I'm done for the day, let me grab some of these. Yeah, well the other thing is like he takes the photos. That's it let me see that again look how happy you look on stage.

That's great bro. I was having that's Buffalo last night. Oh Buffalo healing okay. So this is what this was this was in Germany? No was, where was the first one? Where the fuck is it? You had it. That's me on a balcony pissing on people's ass. Oh. If you think of this sweet, look at my fucking sweet hair. Wow, how jealous you are of that guy.

Fuck you, Oslo. I'm in your boat. The craziest thing about this is, I'm on the back of this car in a riot and Then somebody tells me like I don't even know maybe a year later like Bryce is like I got a photo of that And I'm like cuz nobody believed me people were like there's no way you fucking did that and I'm like, yeah That's fair enough. You know, like I could maybe so that the guy next to me The guy next to me is Lee Ralph, who is also a legendary.

You're just being dragged out. Which one are you? The guy with the flannel on. Nice flannel, by the way. Thank you. You said, yeah, it was 91, man. I was, you know, it was before fucking a grunge. So I was ahead of the game.

Um, actually, no, it was actually right. Right. Right when they were about to hit. Yeah. I have a dickhead. You just basically skateboard, Alison chains, you know, right? Right. Right. When they were about to hit. Yeah. I have a dickhead. You just put us up. Basically a skateboard, Alison chains. You know what I mean? So, wait, who, so who's driving? I don't know. I have no idea. The car just came by and I was like, this is my way out.

Just some revolutionary look at this car. What kind of car is that? Is that a Nissan? Dude, it's a fucking Yaskin Dugan is what it is. It might be a Datsun. Anyway. Yeah. Wow. So I'm holding on. You can't see that I've got like my hand all wrapped up, but I'm holding on and we make it out, dude. Like this gets past the riot police and I get out of the, like people are going to get arrested and I'm on crutches and I make it out. Like everyone else is running. They're fucked. I'm out.

Fuck it. I'm getting dragged and the guy next to me is Lee Ralph and he's like, Alice, Alice. And I'm so wasted. I don't even know someone's with me and I look over and I'm like, Oh shit, Lee Ralph. And he's like, he goes, fuck it. Fuck. Yeah. And I go, I go fuck it. And I throw up the horns at him. And the hand that's holding on is the one that's got No fingers. Yeah, so as soon as I go like that this hand snaps off and I do the scorpion skid where you fucking Along this way like that, but I made it past the riot police Hey everybody today's episode of you be triin' is brought to you by Shopify.

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Today's episode of You'll Be Trippin is sponsored by Smart Travel. It's a new podcast from NerdWallet. You know that feeling when you're trying to book a trip? Too many choices, too much fine print, no real way to know if you're actually getting the best deal. Smart Travel helps you skip that stress

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It's the other side of the road. Yeah, people, yeah, dude. People, when I did it, people will, I didn't realize it, but when I got dragged, people were like, this is our way out. And other. We need this guy during the Holocaust. We need this fucking doctor during the Holocaust. We'd have a lot more fucking alive Jews. You would have saved three people at least.

At least. But yeah, I got my ass out of there somehow. Wow, and not arrested. Then what'd you do after that? I don't remember. You just like, I. I think I stumbled into a hotel room. I mean, aren't you dragging your knees on the ground?

This is crazy. Yeah, well, when you're a skateboarder, back then I could take a lot of pain. I could still take a lot of pain, but back then, especially that drunk, I didn't feel anything. Like, I was in the contest. This picture is so fucking cool.

I thought it was a dollar. Is that a cigarette? Look at the drew one, I was like, is that money? I know, I'm so disappointed. I love that Lee a dollar. I looked at the drew one and I was like is that money? I'm so disappointed. I love that Lee Relf's ass is hanging out. Here's what else I noticed. Fucking he's got the things for his back. He's got a snowboard back. Oh no it was before snowboarding. No not that. Oh yeah it's ski for sure. No this for his back in the car. That's the passenger seat. Oh the massage thing? It is the beat. Who does that? I don't care what year it is. You're a fucking idiot. Yeah, wow. But like we're dragging that car down like look at the weight of it. Oh my god I mean we're both 200 pounds so

And you got out of the next day? Yeah. Yeah, I didn't I didn't see any authorities or anything. It's got free I completely got out of it. Pre-internet days where they can't just be like, oh, we've recorded it. We're just going to click it. Yeah, no, we're near it. When this photo appeared, when I saw this photo, I was like, who's that? And then Bryce Knyce was like, I got photos of you, dude. That's your balls hanging out at the bottom. That's my balls. Oh my God. I've never seen this in my life.

He sent it to me right now. I've never seen this. He just took the pictures? I guess, yeah. If he sent it to me, that's who took it. Look how angry it was. Those air walks. Yeah, I was sponsored by Air Walk, man.

Nice. Look at these guys up here fucking loving it. Like what the fuck is this dude? I think that was when I was looking for Ryan Monahan Ryan Ryan come look at me balls. Kill Monahan and then yeah, I was probably gonna show him my dick I didn't know I was gay. Oh, it's like a little girl little Mardi Gras. Yeah These are all skaters and skate fans. Yeah they're either all pro skaters or French fans of pro skaters and

And that's it. That's like this is before the the riot started, but you know, it's awesome about this picture that I'm just 1991 you're saying no, it's 91 yet. No one's taping you know, they're just enjoying the moment Yeah, no phones. Not one phone. They're like, look at that guy. This guy's drinking like, no. You made me imagine like blacked out, pulling my dick out. Like how many people are like, dude, look at this video. Like it probably would have helped.

I would have been like, wow, I really need to clean my shit up. But nobody- It was about for 30 years. It never, it never, nobody ever said anything about it for decades. Wow. But I can't believe, like I asked anything about it for decades. Wow. But I can't believe, like I asked Bryce Knotts for it two, yesterday.

And he had it. He was like, sure I can get that. He got it for me in 24 hours. Wow. So shout out to Bryce. You're pissing on all these guys? I think so. Look at this guy's about to get it in his fucking mouth.

Yeah, I didn't care. I did not care. Man, Skating Punk goes so well together we really it was like I remember the at the Germany contest Craig Craig and this other dude Steve Schneer I think Steve's is dead yeah they had a cooler at the contest and they were drinking beer before the contest they were drinking beer before before and even then even me I remember going those guys are crazy those guys drinking beer before the contest. They were drinking beer before? Before. And even then, even me, I remember going,

those guys are real men, you know? They're not pussies. You think they have your run on here? Is this it? No. Yeah, my contest ride, not from France, because that was not a good showing. From Moonstar?

Moonstar, yeah, my ride's been, people have shown me some of it before. Yeah, I did really well I Was one of the only people that could do a taro grab those that's this is a level Tony was that Tony could do all different kinds of 540s and Myself oh, this is Amsterdam. Oh, it's not it. No, that's you though. Yeah You know that demo I was fucking huge crowd and I see a guy in the crowd smoking a bong and I'm like Doing a bong rip in the crowd is awesome. And I was like, yeah, dude, and he goes Alice mate and I'm like wait

You're Australian. He's like fuck. Yeah, mate The only person in the crowd in Amsterdam who's Australian is doing a bong rip in the crowd the crowd. I was like, that's us man That's us, man. That's us. Damn. I'm on this load of fucking annoying internet. Damn. What'd you do while you were there in France? Anything or just skate and fuck it and drink?

I didn't, for the first maybe 10 years of me traveling to different countries, I would just go to the ramp and just get wasted. The first four times, the first three times I went to France, someone was like, we're going to see the Eiffel Tower, and I was like, pfft, pussies. And then I went to McDonald's instead. And then on the fourth time, I was like, I'll go see it.

I mean, the Eiffel Tower too is like, whatever. In Amsterdam. But you should really go though. I just didn't care. Yeah, like I didn't I just wanted to skate man or get wasted That's it or or bang chicks in Amsterdam. It was go to the to the red light district Yeah, get obvious obviously or go to the smoke shop to get all the weed Cuz that was before you could do it, like you could do it here. Dude, I've had two people, maybe three actually,

go on and talk about Amsterdam. It's all the same shit. It's all like, oh, I got weed. And it's like, that's boring now. We can get it. We're embarrassing. Americans are, didn't they stop it because we vomited so much?

I probably. Here's interesting though. Australians, I've had this, I'm trying to write this essay about best and worst travelers by country. Australians are on both lists. I agree, yeah. They will get the party started.

No matter what, at a hostel, it's like, everyone's kind of like, on Australia's like, Buckets! Buckets is like the anti-cryptonite for them. Their superpower. And it's like, they can fine blow when there is none. They're like the Jews, they can make it snow. You know why?

Because we're not scared to ask or go somewhere scary to get it. Yeah, oh, right. I've had a knife held to my neck a couple of times because I'm like, I'll go down there and get it. You know, and they're like, they only got crack, they ain't got coke. And I'm like, that'll do down there and get it. And they're like, they only got crack, they ain't got coke. And I'm like, that'll do.

That's how I first smoked crack, because it was like they didn't have any coke. Yeah, but you guys are always the ones barfing in gardens and front yards and just really getting blowjobs in some right near a temple. Yeah, yeah. Well, I wouldn't have known it was a temple,

or I didn't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, it's not on purpose, it's just a lack of care. She wanted to suck it at, yeah. Wherever she wanted to suck it is a deal. Damn, where are you from in Australia? Melbourne. Okay.

I haven't been back for like 12 years. No, really? I just did the Great Ocean Road from Melbourne to Italy. Oh, you were there. What's it like doing standup in Australia? It's the best. Have you not? How would have I? I've been doing standup for five years It's the best. Have you not? How would I?

How would have I? I've been doing stand up for five years. I haven't been to Australia for 12. They're the best crowds. Really? They're not dumb. I mean they're a little dumber. They like American humor?

Yeah. Fuck. Because they get all our movies, all our music and everything. Yeah. You know how it is. They don't live in the shadow of us, but they love our stuff. Yeah. Fuck.

I'm going to get a gig there, man. Oh, for sure. Melbourne's a great town. Comics Lounge is one of the best clubs in the world. It would be, to me, the greatest thing that could happen to me in comedy, except for as of yesterday, where I was on fucking stage with David Tell at the fucking cellar,

and I was like, this is not a real fucking day, would be doing comedy in my hometown. You gotta talk to Dan at the comics launch. I'll hook you up with him. Yeah? I'll email him with you. Yeah, they'd love you. Yeah, I would, dude. At least for a night, you know?

Yeah, I would. It's great. Yeah, they're all down. They're smart enough, especially Melbourne or Sydney. They're smart enough to get every joke. But they also don't give a fuck. People say it's woke now, but it ain't. It's just woke for degenerate pieces of shit. That's impossible.

Yeah. They try to, cause they try to kill the Bogan. You know what a Bogan is? Yeah. Brizzy's a little dumber. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they're more Bogans. Yeah, for sure. Briz Bogan.

It's something about being closer to the bush. Yeah, maybe. Maybe they haven't shaken it yet. Nah. Because the laws have changed. Cause I get told now in Melbourne, there's the radars. So if you speed anywhere on the road, you get a fucking ticket in the mail for speeding and if you're a bogan if you don't speed like a bogan yeah right like if you're driving home you're speeding there's no other there's no speed yeah

you go you do burnouts what are you gonna do hit a kangaroo? Yes. Yeah, that's what rubas are for What's that a bull bar for kangaroos ruba? What is oh really? Yeah, the big metal big metal thing on the front of your car for smashing into base. Yeah, dude. You gotta go back It's great. There's also rules but like this is Mike Frazier. This is not me. Oh shit He's real good. I'm like for it. Oh, I went on to the next thing You got to send me that video of you in Munster first. Munster. And then this run. Do you have this run in Paris? No, this is Amsterdam. No, I mean, do you have this run from Paris that you did there?

No, no, I've never- How'd you do in the competition there? Terrible. Yeah. Yeah, because I did really well and then got obliterated and then showed up with one hand. Yeah. So I could only do tricks using my front hand. Okay, so today's episode of You Be Trippin' is brought to you by Five Hour Energy. Guys, you ever feel the doljins of the day? You need a little pick-me-up but you don't want coffee? Well, Five Hour Energy is your answer.

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They are everywhere. Guys, do what I do. Get juiced with 5 hour energy. Now do me a favor and let's get back to the episode god I'm wired on this stuff and I had won I'd won like I didn't have I was like I'm here to prove myself I paid for my own airfare to go to Germany to prove that I am one of you and it was gonna be Germany then France yeah and then I proved it and then I proved it,

and then by the time I was in France, I was like, I think I'd already half retired from making it, so dude, I beat everybody. The only people that beat me are like Tony Hawk, Steve Caballero. Damn. I'm like, the legends beat me, and then I was the first of the new blood normal guy in the placing of it

Like everybody that beat me was an old legend was like started skating I looked up to all the people that beat me So like I was Chris Miller like people that beat me where I was like, yeah, I don't even want to beat them They're too legendary, but everybody under me Was the new blood I get it once you got that thing done. Remember, you know Eddie Bravo? Yeah, fuck yeah. So when he beat Gracie in competition,

and people are like, wow, he's great. How much did he win for that tournament? They go, he didn't win the tournament. He lost his next fight. Oh wow, I didn't even know that. Same thing. I assume, I don't know, I've talked to Eddie about it, but it's like, I'm done.

I already made my name here. He did. This tournament doesn't matter. But he, that is like his like 10th planet, because I used to go there. His system became like words to live by. Like if you're a 10th planet black belt, you're a fucking black belt.

Oh yeah. It was like, now it's an argument like, Gracie black belt, 10th planet, I'm like dude, 10th planet black belt's Nalia. Because they roll, they change with the times. That's what I, yeah. And I think like, there's Gracie Black Belt, 10th Planet, I'm like dude, 10th Planet, Black Belt's gnarlier. Because they roll, they change with the times. That's what I, yeah. And I think like, there's Gracie guys, there's guys that are Gracie Black Belts

that have like put in the real work. But then there's guys that like, because I've rolled with guys that are Brown Belts, Gracie Brown Belts, where I beat the fuck out of them. Because it's a doctor who's been going there for 15 years. And his coach gives him a belt for coming. You know, like, but it. What'd you get to with Eddie?

I didn't roll, I've rolled with Eddie back in the day. I rolled with Joe Rogan back in the day with Mayhem at the Hollywood gym back when I first started. Bomb squad? Huh? Bomb squad? Nah, nah, only a couple, I was hanging out with Mayhem Miller and some of those guys. So I I was in a little bit at the start

But then when I started having pro fights, I went back to 10th planet and got my I got I was a radio Blue belt, okay, but I never that means something I never rolled for belts Like I rolled to fight MMA and I'm a boxer. So my thing was submission defense like if you go for a submission you're asking for trouble I get I defend submissions and then I get up and then I knock you out that's the plan I remember when Keith Jardine fought uh Chuck Liddell yeah I talked to him and I talked to his coach too and they were like we're not even training on the ground because we're not getting

Chuck Liddell down right and if it does go to go to the ground, you're already going to beat him. You don't need to. Because his wrestling was, he had a sprawl. And they just worked leg kicks for like four months. That was, Keith is a good friend of mine. Yeah. He is like, my last profile, he was in my corner. No.

Yeah. I don't think there's anybody that's that much of a difference between what you think they are based on looking at them versus who they are. Nice sweetheart guy. You see him, you're like, let's just cross the street. It's not worth it. I spied Keith Jotty. It's on YouTube.

He knocked me out. Really? But like in a friendly way. Knocked you out in a friendly way. Yeah, like I came at him a little bit and he was was like, oh really and then he like put me on my ass He's already drops Jason Ellis. Yeah, yeah, cuz he's look at him He's just fucking with me a little bit and then I got him in the corner. I got a little too cocky So yeah started punching him. Yeah, and he's like, hey stop. He's like, okay

I was like, dude, Keith Jardine dropped me. It's not about winning. It's about being in the game. It's like the night before, David Tell is like, when you come up here, Jason. And then David Tell would be like, worst guy ever, piece of shit, what's up, fucking homo? And I'd be like, David Tell! That was so cool.

That was a homo! That was a homo! That was a homo! That was a homo! That was a homo! That was a homo! That was a homo! That was a homo! That was a like worst guy every piece of shit. What's up fucking homo? I'd be like David tell

With dice once when I was a door guy at the Comedy Store he hates me really he puts on an act though Sometimes I got in trouble, dude I didn't mean it fucking it was on the serious show and they were like do you want to have him on I was like Yeah, of course And then they go his kids want to play their music and I was like what I'm like I don't want to have the kids on like I just want to tell to him the most protective father in the world So he comes on and he goes I'm gonna bring my kids on I was like, okay He's like I want to play his new song and I was like

Okay, and then they played it and it wasn't very good. I like guns. And I go, oh, dude, I go, you guys signed? And they go, no. And I'm like, yeah, you're not ready yet. And he immediately switched and was like, you piece of shit. And I was like, what? And he's like, you got to fucking talk about. And I was like, dude, they're not good. And he fucking goes.

Both in a corner. Neither you're going to back down from that. Yeah, because now he's like talking like he's going to fight me fight me and like I'm from a place where if you talk like that Like I don't have I don't back down. I'm like fuck you. Yeah, and he's like, oh, yeah I'm like, yeah motherfucker and then it was like this Thing where I stern played it and it's like I just I didn't early drama I didn't want and he was mad dude, and I felt I felt like a dick You know cuz I was like I can he has that you know to make you feel like a dick too

Yeah, when it was me was that I don't know what it was I had to like light him his time was over so I was in the booth or whatever And he's like you fucking he starts screaming at me, and he's like you're never gonna make it this time I'll fuck you or never was he said that every and'm like, part of me is like, this hurts, the other part of me is like, this is Andrew Dice Clay. He's yelling at me. He was such a legend. He was like, opening Anthony, you're the real thing,

you're a piece of shit. Before you could stand up too. What did that come, why did Opie and, Did you think that before you came in here? But it wasn't his fault, it wasn't the kid's fault, it wasn't my fault, it was the serious boss that like him and, and Dice had already agreed to have these kids in without telling me. So, you know, when I had that show, like it's my show, dude. That was really your show. You pushed these guys on me and I'm like, dude, you're not

going to get fake. I've never been fake on my show. No, that show was actually, that show was wild. I was being honest. I forgot about it. That show was wild. You'd go in there and I went, I probably three to five times, whatever it was, but it was like, oh, we're gonna have some fun. There's gonna be something like crazy.

The topics of conversations were fucking nuts and no holds barred, but then it was like, hey, this guy's about to get punched in the face by a midget. And it's like, all right, guy's about to get punched in the face by a midget. Like, all right, that's great. You know, it's just like always something fun. Did you have a Quattro thing where someone had to like strap someone on and then like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quattro fight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We would have, we'd have girls. Audio only by the way, is a baby beyond fight. Yeah. Yeah. Well we have girls strapped to guys' chairs and they would beat each other up.

Well, you had to be there. Yeah, you have to be there. So, all right. I guess we covered fucking France then. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Wow. Yeah. Great one. So here's something I ask everybody. Yeah. What's, what's calling you? Like what place is calling you right now? Oh, I, you know, I, well I I was I was rich and now I'm not Yeah, and before I was not rich. I wanted to go to the Maldives, but then I heard that that place doesn't like gay people So then I was like I want to go to Bora Bora because that's less gay. Yeah, let's it's yeah

They don't mind gay people not that i'm gay But if I was I would like to go somewhere where they didn't hate me. Maldives is, Oh, it's down there. You say Maldives. Am I saying it wrong? No, you're saying the Australian way. You've traveled more. I think Maldives, but when I went to Myanmar, all the Brits were like Myanmar. So maybe I am saying it right with an accent. Yeah. I mean, let's go with that. Yeah, let's go with that. But I don't want to go there anymore. I want to go to Bora Bora. Okay. Let's see that. What do you want? Why? Why there? Because I mean that is it's synonymous with on an island, dude. I went to French Polynesia.

You know what the greatest place is? I went to Tavarua. You ever heard of that? Where did it wait? Tavarue Tavarue. No, where's that? It's this little Island in Indonesia where the Nixon team, like a watch company, I've still got the watch is nixonnow.com for anybody who's checking out. Taperu of Fiji? Yeah, it's shaped like a love heart.

Oh yeah. And it's like the size of a football oval and it's got crazy surf on the side of it. Oh damn, it's a tiny island off Fiji. Yeah, you get a boat to it. I go there, dude, I won't say the surf's name. I mean, talk about nowhere. Yeah, I won't say the surf's name because he, talk about nowhere. Yeah, I won't say the surface name because he died.

The pro surfer got really blacked out there and threatened to kill people on the island. And this is when I was a pro fighter, I was married to my kid's mother. Your dad, where does he care? And they come and tell me, hey, this is my, and my wife at the time hated, like she would not let me be in a violent situation. But they all come to me and I'm sober at the time hated, like she would not let me be in a violent situation.

But they all come to me and I'm sober at the time and they go, Hey, so and so is trying to kill people on the island. We need you to, to beat him up. And I'm like, beat him up. And they're like, there's no other, like you've got to subdue him. And I'm like, I'm not fucking hoist Gracie dude. Like, yeah, I've got some fights under my belt, but I'm not like, who do you need me to kill? Like I'm not a trained assassin. And I'm like, okay.

And I can see my friend who's the team manager. He wants to kill him the most and he's a friend of mine. So I go, okay, where is he? And my wife at the time, this is the thing that triggered it. She goes, hey, I know I would never say this, but I'm giving you permission. Like you have to get this guy. And I was like, Okay, this is crazy.

She's telling me to get this guy. So I go to get him. Yeah, he comes walking down the beach with a beer in his hand, holding it away where he's gonna use it. Yeah. And he's like, the fuck you gonna do motherfucker? And was like hey man like you're scaring everybody on the island you gotta calm down. Hey man you put on your whitest voice. I'm trying to be cool. I'm trying to be cool.

Hey man let's not nobody wants this. Hey dude relax man. It's all chill dude. So he swings it at me and I go under it and then I grab him from behind and I choke him out. You're already training? Yeah yeah yeah I had one profile so I put him in the sand and I choke him out. You're already training? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd had one profile. So I put him in the sand and I choke him out

and as soon as he wakes up, he tries to bite my hand. No. So I choke him out again, but not out. I choke him so he knows he's choking because he's too drunk or whatever he's on. To realize he's lost. To realize he's, he's just like, as soon as he wakes up, he's trying to eat my fingers.

So I choke him again and I dug a little hole in front of him so he wouldn't eat sand. And I'm like, stop, dude, like stop. And I finally get him to like freak out enough to stop. And then I have to hold his head while a doctor gives him Xanax or some kind of tranquilizer. And the guy finally eats it, starts to calm down, and I walk him back to his cabin

and put him to bed, and then when he wakes up in the morning, he's like, I'm gonna kill that red dragon guy. So now we have to get put on the set. It's just like, bro, you had your chance and didn't. But he didn't, the worst thing about it was like, everyone was like, dude, we're gonna have to put you on a separate boat, and I'm like, you told me to do this! Like, I was- Put him on the separate boat. Yeah. But because he was

like a big shot, they had to put me on a separate boat. But I slightly regretted that too. What? I just don't. I don't. I don't. There's a difference. There's fighters that like hurting people. I'm not that guy. Like I'm I like violence, but only friendly violence. Yeah. If we're fighting Keith J Jardine punched me in the face and he kind of knocked me out. It was awesome. If Keith Jardine was sincerely mad at me and did that, that would have been traumatic. Right. Do you know what I mean?

Like I'm not a violent guy. Like if we're like, if somebody's harassing, like I'll jump in. Like if some big guy is trying to beat up a little guy, I'll jump in. Right. Because I don't want to see people be bullied. But if it's like, hey Ellis, you're a fucking bitch, I'm like, yeah maybe. Like I don't care, we're not doing it. We're not, I'm not fucking the stoop it out on the street. I'm not a tough guy.

I'm just a, I'm an athlete. Yeah, it's a weird thing, people trying to, it's like this, I like hot sauce. I like hot spicy things. I'd be like, drink this bottle of Tabasco then. And I'm like, I'm not, it's not a contest. I'm trying to like spice up my food. Yeah, the same jackass motherfucker. I just want spicy. Exactly. I'm not proving anything to you. I just like to fight for professional. Same thing with me, man. Like I've never, that's why I was never very,

when I fought, it was always, I always got beat up at the start because I was like you know good luck man you know I'd be like good luck to my opponent and he'd be like really trying to kill me and I'd be like oh shit we're having a real fight it's like duh. Yeah dude you gotta go to Bora Bora. Right. It's gotta be expensive. You're trying to do something cheap. As soon as my comedy career blows up Ari I'm gonna that's my first thing I'm gonna go to Bora Bora and then when I go to Bora Bora, I'm gonna post photos, and then everyone's gonna hate me and stop coming to my shows because they think that I'm a stuck up

rich celebrity. Look at this. I've noticed that happens to you guys. Oh yeah. What is that? No, no, dude. No, no, no. Oh. No, no, no. If you're trying to be a comic, there's no more you guys.

It's us. It's, they can't be doing that you guys shit. It could've five years ago. It feels so good. This is a lot of stuck up comics, huh? But I just see it as, cause it happened to me in radio, where it's like, he's a underdog.

Yeah. You know, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna be the next Howard Stern, and then I started getting paid millions of dollars for doing it, and then I'd getting paid millions of dollars for doing it. Yeah. And then I'd hear, seeing the thing fucking stuck up, fucking, Oh, why don't you go hang out with Slash again, you fucking, and I'm like, wait,

I don't know. You're telling me if Slash got your number and he hit you up, you wouldn't fucking say, Hey, what's up Slash? Yeah. Like, fuck you man. Slash knows me. Suck my dick. Yeah.

It's that, it's that hard one where it's like, do you hang out with celebrities? Or, because it is cool. Right. If fucking Joe Montana wants to like hang, you're like, do you hang out with celebrities? Because it is cool. If fucking Joe Montana wants to hang, you're like, okay. You're not gonna be like, no, this is your friend's over. I'm like, I saw him yesterday, I'll see him tomorrow. I wanna hang with Joe Montana. Weird reference. Yeah, so I just noticed that lately with us

is when somebody makes it and I'm out on, because some of us are making a lot of money. And then I see that fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm like,, you know, cause they got some of, some of us are making a lot of money. And then I see that, you know, fucking blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you follow him because you love him because he's fucking funny. And now that he makes money, he's not you anymore. Like, what happens to me is people start going like, Oh, you're all you

millionaires do this. I'm like, Oh, no, no, no. I show my bank account. I would like to be what you're saying, but just because my friends are that doesn't mean I'm that. They give me free meals, but that's a different thing. Yeah, so you're still cool, right? I'm still cool.

Dude, I was doing these yoga, like fake yoga, but real, but I'm doing badly online, just teaching them online. I'm like, I can't get to a straight T here, but you get what I'm going for, try it. But I would want to do one that my friend was on a private jet. And I was like, oh, let's do one on a private jet. That'll be cool. And he goes, no, no, I can't have my fans know I take these.

And I'm like, that's the right attitude. It is. Instead of bragging about it, making people feel bad. Dude, I got to fuck it. I moved into a new house because I have to downsize. I can't afford to live where I live. And I found a place, I've been looking for six months, that has a really nice pool and it's way cheaper

because it's way further away from the city. I don't want to post it. No, you can't. You can't, it's for your friends. I thought you said you were downsizing. And they're gonna be like, you're fucking, you're still rich. And I'm like, I'm not.

My buddies talk about it, they're like, no, it's cool, you own a private jet. I'm like, that's right, it's cool for you. Don't show that to someone who's making 38 grand a year. They don't wanna see that. It's just weird that most of us can't, cause I've worn a lot of shoes. You broke into a house with an ice pool, post away.

You know? Then you'd be a badass, everyone will come to your show. It's a weird thing that people can't understand what it's like to wear someone else's shoes. It's like, I've been broke. I've been rich. I've been broke and rich like a fucking roller coaster. So I really know.

I've been gay, I've been straight, I've been tough, I've been a pussy. So I've been all these things. So I understand when someone makes it, I don't feel this like ill will towards them for having a car that I've always wanted. You know, like if you get a Lamborghini, I go, Oh, is it cool? What's it like? You know, I don't go fuck bitch. Like, it is weird. It's a natural thing to start to hate someone for just getting something you would have also taken. That's the like if slash starts DMing anybody that is watching this Are you gonna tell him to fuck off because he's a fucking huge rock star Try it say slash you want to be in this podcast try me. I won't accept you Yeah Yeah, like it's just bullshit man. Like anybody that has that gets the offer like yeah, like you do

You're a carpenter. You don't make that much money, what if someone paid you a million dollars to be a carpenter, would you accept it or would you say no because millions of dollars is for pussies? Yeah, no, you take it. Yeah, and then guess what? You'd probably go to Bora Bora for a vacation. Dude, you can't afford Bora Bora.

I know. Not this, Ellis. I know. Yeah, that might be just a thing that I look at on Instagram. I mean, maybe if it's a stopover on the way to somewhere else. How's that work? I don't know. Where would you fucking stop over at Bora Bora on your way to where? Fucking Detroit. Oh Bora Bora, yeah. You know because that's where I'm going.

You don't have to go to like, you have to go to Australia. Right, which is still... Yeah, yeah fuck it. Going to Australia is a possibility, down the road. Getting a gig to go to Australia. What a homecoming it would be too. What a cool homecoming it would be. It would be such a look at me. You can find out where your draw is and then do rooms based on that.

If you wanna just do Melbourne, just say you did it, that'd be cool, the comic sound is what I would suggest. But then like, you could do like any level of cedars in in Brisbane and in Sydney and whatever insane yeah it would be so insane I mean that's triggering though everybody there is drinking I mean bro dude is all drinking wine okay then you're great that's a great I'm at the comedy store all the time everybody smokes weed constantly around me yeah I do the riff-raff every fucking third Saturday. There isn't one person who isn't a part of the riff-raff who isn't vaping weed

or smoking weed or offering shrooms the whole time. I'm happy for everybody. I just don't care dude and it's not like I didn't get a good run you know? Yeah. Like I know what the outcome is. The same with fucking whores. Like everyone... Yeah you know what it's gonna be. Yeah! Like if someone is in my DMS going, Hey baby, I'm like, I've fucked you. Not you exactly, but I've fucked somebody just like you. I know what it's like to wake up next to you and I'm over it. Do Nick, you know, Nick Yusuf? I don't know him, but I know who he is. Okay. So he got, he got, what's the word for sober for sex?

Celebrate. Yeah. for sober for sex. Celebrate? Yeah. Stop smoking weed everybody. This guy doesn't, this guy does. What complex word are you looking for? It's like I'm trying to learn English as I go. It's the same way I would do it in Spanish.

What the fuck happened to you? But anyway. But he goes, yeah I just know how this is gonna, and he fucked a lot. But he was like, I just know how this is gonna go. It's one of three ways. Either you're gonna come back, we're gonna fuck, you're gonna leave.

Come back, fuck, stay too long, it's be annoying. It's one of three ways either You're gonna come back. We're gonna fuck you're gonna leave come back fuck stay too long It's be annoying come back try to get you to fuck for until 7 a.m And then do or don't and then I'll be tired the next day He goes I'd rather just wake up and go for a hike dude. That's what I did game is over I ended it because I when I quit all the stuff the last thing to quit was fucking Yeah, but it took a long time for me to realize that that was another thing that I used to run Because when I got completely sober, I was like, I'm living I'm divorced. I live in a house by myself I can still fuck everybody and I was like, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing that

I'm not doing a certain kind of person and then I was like, you know what even the people that you know that are like Yeah, man, we're fuck buddies. No big deal. I have to stop that too. And when I stopped that Yeah, here's what I thought this is gonna going to be weird to you, but like, I feel like God told me, sorry. Not Jesus, but a God, a higher power told me, if you stop fucking everybody, the person that you want is going to show up quicker. Sounds like Jesus. You think he would say that?

Yeah. In those words, because he's speaking to you. You know what? It'd be smart for Jesus to not show who he was, because if I heard it from Jesus, I'd be like, no, I'm just gonna keep fucking. But some dude who looks like that guy you showed him before with the long hair. I picture it as a lady that has snake hair. Alanis Morissette.

Yeah, pretty much. You know she tried, no. No, no. Who's the lesbian lady? You were gonna say Alanis Morissette tried to fuck you? No, I've No, no. Who's the lesbian lady? You were gonna say Alana Smorz tried to fuck you? No, I've met her though. That's cool.

Sorry, I'm not, I'm not not in breath. People are gonna hate me for that, but no. Melissa, no, yeah. Oh, the one who's a Dodger fan. Who's the lesbian folk singer, no, country singer. Melissa Effig? Yeah, she came on my show. One for the weed.

Wait, what? I could remember and you couldn't. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, nice. But she was like, wanted to on my show. One for the weed. Wait, what? I could remember and you couldn't. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, nice. But she was like, wanted to be my friend. She came on my show and wanted to be my friend and gave me her number. What? And I think she thought I was gay.

And then she realized I wasn't. And she was out. At one point she invited me to dinner. And I was like, why? You know, like what is happening? And then I think she got wind of like what I really am and was like, no deal. Oh, Melissa Atherich, if you're listening,

I'm a real, I fucking munch box and I fucking, I got my clit and I rub it and I munch the fucking box and I love to have you on. It's a big nasty hairy one. All right, here's the last question that I ask everybody too. Forget that, that's great. Bora Bora, I believe in your dream and tell me when you're gonna go.

It might be in 15 years, but I believe in that dream for you. Thanks. Travel tip, in general travel tip or anything. So a lot of people go like pack light, if you're taking mushrooms, grind them up, put in granola, all sorts of travel tips. Anything you like would involve.

Travel tip would be if you're in a city, don't look around all awestruck and shit. Because people will prey on you. Look like a local. Every time I'm in New York, if I was ever in Times Square, nobody asked me for shit. Because I live here, but I don't. But you don't.

You just walk in there and go, oh. It's looking up. looking up that's the sign here you look up that means that's a tourist follow them rob them yeah especially down there. Yeah I just go nah and I keep it sweep short because my accent's gonna give it away too so I'm just like nah and then I walk off I don't like eye contact I stay tough I stay angry because that's like a New York thing, too Yes angry all the time. No, you know, yeah New Yorkers are nice late April for about a week You guys smoke cigarettes a lot That's a crazy thing that you guys still do. Yeah, I just got back into it

I'm a dumb fuck. Oh cuz I was in Australia. I was buying pouches. Yeah, Australians smoke cigarettes? Yeah, well anyway, not all, but especially in the in the rural, in between Adelaide and Melbourne for sure. But it was like, I travel, it seems cool to like roll cigarettes and smoke in Paris. Yeah. Oh, you roll them? Yeah. See that's almost cool. It is cool. I don't know about that. All cigarettes are cool. That's not true. You shouldn't do it. That's definitely not true. 100% cool. Kids, make sure to do cigarettes. It's not cool. It will make you more popular. It does not.

You stink. You won't get laid as much. You'll get laid far more because you're around chicks who smoke and chicks who smoke are sluts. You know that as a fact. Okay, that one. You might have won that one. I thought for sure I had you in the corner.

You got a tatted up smoker? It's on. Yeah. Or she could be a tatted up non-smoker and she's just as horny. Just as horny, yeah. Tatted up is a fucking... If they have sleeves like you, that's not a virgin. And it's super fun in bed too.

Oh yeah. Yeah. The more tattoos, the more sex they are. Dude, I just saw a video, an Instagram video of a guy trying to teach his that chick, that look chick with the tattoos and the black shirt, whatever, how to say no properly. It's not real. And he goes, no. Okay, I'm glad shirt, whatever, how to say no properly. It's not real. And he goes, no, okay. I'm glad you brought that. It's not real. That's not real. This is a fucking ploy. It's like a fucking viral bullshit thing.

She's upping it. Fuck. Yes, she is. Dude. I had my fucking, my five buddies. Of course I've seen it. No, it's it's, you know what? When I saw that, I got the same reaction as the fucking kangaroo break dance bitch. I was like, no, that's not us. Say it, say it, say the word. No.

Damn, he nailed it. No. It's no, it's not no. Nobody says that. Nobody ever said that. No. Dude, somebody called me like a week ago and goes, hey man, it's Eddie's coach.

And I go, oh, hey man, like I'm glad Eddie gave you my phone number. And it's like, I'm here with my wife. We have a question. And I'm like, okay, when you don't want to do something, what do you say? I'm like, no. And they're like, come on man, really, what do you say?

And I'm like, no. And they're like, you don't go, no. And I'm like, okay, I gotta help you, dude. No, we don't do that. We say no, there's no no. And he goes, you don't say nah. And I'm gonna go, okay, that's different. Do we say nah?

Yeah. And he goes, no way, you guys say nah. And I'm like, no. And I go, here's how I explain it. No and America's like like nah. Have you ever said yeah? Yeah, if you ever said yes, yeah, so you say you have two But you guys go yeah Yeah, we go. Yeah. No you little to the end. Yeah, do not go. Yeah, I go. Yeah, I'm fucking Australian I'm saying yeah right now. Does it go? Yeah, you've been gone too long. You've lost your roots. No. They say that when I call. They, yeah.

If you fucking hurt yourself, this is the other thing. If you're a real bogan, you're talking out of the side of your fucking mouth and you don't do, you do fuck, you mean fucking Thursday, mate. Not Thursday, Thursday. Yeah. So some guys- North Carolina.

Oh yeah? Yeah, deep blacks are like, they'll say the T H is an F. See, I just said, yeah. Here's one tuna. They say tuna tuna and Tuesday. Wow. See on Tuesday, mate. I'm like, how do you spell Tuesday?

Dude, I walked. Is it a T then why the fuck are you putting a C H on it? So they do stuff like that. Yeah. I don't like this anymore. They, they, I went to a bar in Willowluka. That was like in the middle of the know or whatever. And I get in there. You've been deeper in Australia than I have.

Dude, it was great. Willowluka? Yeah. Yeah, so I was like. Anywhere that's aboriginal is deep. Yeah, named after anybody you wiped out is a great name. The Willowluka Tavern. And the guy there was like, I said,

hey, do you have a room? And they're like, immediately like, oh, that's not an accent from around here. Yeah, no. And I was there was like, I said, hey, do you have a room? And they're like, immediately like, oh, that's not an accent from around here. And I was like, yeah, he's the one in the back. Come get a drink, let's talk. We don't get travelers like that. So it's all these fucking real Bogans and all sitting there drinking and looking over,

missing teeth and stuff. I got a question for you. I can't do it. How do you rate Joe Boyden? And I'm like, because I don't vote, I don't care. I'm like, I don't read them at all. He's like, all right, free beer for this guy. How crazy is it? The internet has got like people in the bush that know Joe Biden. It's so sad. Like you're so much better off existing on a planet to not know.

Who cares? How's he helping you there? Which one wins? Does it make any to the fucking beer in your toothless face Yeah, like nothing's gonna change for you, dude. Nothing Just go shoot a kangaroo You should have seen it did some girl came in and she was like the hottest girl in the town and she was Four. Yeah just Smoke show. Yeah, and it was like she was just under 30 Dude, I grew up in a table in Melbourne the footy games when football there was a pub. That's it then, don don don's. Oh my god that's scary. Go black and red.

That's like being on San Diego Superchargers. What are you gonna fucking football if you pull out vegemite I'm leaving what oh I've got to talk what is this live you can't edit it you lazy fuck no I don't want to talk it's gonna be a football it's gonna be a Tim Tam it's gonna be a violet crumble could be gonna be a Tim Tam, it's gonna be a Violet Crumble, could be a Crunchy Bar, I would eat that. I thought I had it. Is it candy? No, I went to State of Origin. The fuck is, oh, rugby.

Yeah. I'm from Melbourne, I'm Aussie Rules. So you don't care. Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. I don't give a fuck. But I did like Mel Meninga when I was super drunk back in the day. I used to do an impression of this dude named Mel Meninga

from the All Blacks, the New Zealand rugby team. Yeah. And they used to duct tape their ears to their head so they didn't get ripped off. But Mel Meninga from the All Blacks, the New Zealand rugby team. Yeah. And they used to duct tape their ears to their head so they didn't get ripped off. But Mel Meninga was a star. And when I was super drunk, I would be standing next to me out of nowhere and I'd go, quick impression, Mel Meninga. And then I'd run off and shoulder block like a post or a fence or a wall or like one time a mailbox.

I was on the street and I go, quick impression, Mel Meninga. And I run over to this mailbox and shoulder block it, but the wooden part of the mailbox was concreted into the ground. So the mailbox exploded, but the wooden post smacked me in the hip and like fucked me up.

I'm on the post side. Yeah, and then a guy next to me goes, quick impression, Mel Meninga. And I know that he's running at me to shoulder block my back. And I'm drunk, but I'm still an athlete. And I know where he's getting close. And I just do the drop to the ground real flat. So just these ankles hit my back,

and he skids across the ground on his face. So we get in the train to go to a fucking pub. I can barely walk. His whole face And everybody in the train was like you guys are fucking sketched out We had respect on that dude. I went to a footy game not this time the time before you go to footy games I've been to a couple what's your team? That's them. Oh, that's my that was my dad's team. I'm Richmond nice All right, so yellow stripe instead of the red stripe.

I went to Richmond game the first time. Nice. The Tigers. Dude, so at halftime, they do this, you know they have halftime games here, half court shots and basketball or whatever. So they had this thing where you don't have to jump up to catch a fair catch or whatever, you get a free kick. So they had just people from the stands. And they had a mattress, and somebody's running with a mattress to like hit them to make them not like lose the thing.

Yeah. It's a mattress. So it's kind of soft. That's fucking fun. Yeah. First guy misses it. Up for the mark, it's called. Up for the mark, yes. Second guy gets hit with a mattress, catches it. Everyone's like, yeah.

Third guy goes up, catch it, gets knocked out. Nobody knows. He's just like, oh, I made the catch. And the ball just rolls away and he doesn't get up. Everybody celebrates, right? Everybody celebrates. And then they just go, half time's over. Fully got conscious. Yeah. People love unconscious people in Australia. Yeah. All right, Alice. Thanks a lot, man. You gotta come back when you're done with

Bora Bora and we'll talk about that. Yeah. Yeah, I'll never see you again then Come back another time. Anyway, do another country brother roll. Thanks, dude. Appreciate it Well everybody that is the episode. Hope you had a good time. Wow, what a time what a punk he was What a great punker Don't forget to see all of Jason Ellis's tour dates at the Jason Ellis dot com. Chicago, Nashville, Miami, Ocala, Florida, New Westman, kind of Vancouver,

Victoria, Canada, Alberta, Denver, Plano, Texas. Also check out his podcasts, The Jason Ellis Show, Adrian Appalooch was just on there. I've been on there multiple times. And Hawk versus Wolf, which I've also been on. It's a good episode to start on, Hawk versus Wolf. We did some travel talk. Me and Tony Hawk kinda connect on that.

Jason Ellis too. Tony eats some, Tony will get diarrhea. We got to do an episode about Egypt, Tony. Anyway, that's the episode. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Today's episode was produced by Your Mom's House Network, edited by Alan Caffe. Wherever you're watching or listening, please subscribe right now if you're still watching. I appreciate you would. I have merch up on my site at rechafeer.com. Grindr, some signed, signed vinyls, unsigned vinyls for much cheaper from Jew. T-shirts, I got the Stay Positive shirt, which is a great one.

I got psychedelic playing cards where I am the king of mushrooms. And I got go for a hike shirts and the Ari cat shirt. Get them all at Arichefair.com. Guys, let me tell you a little bit about myself and my own skateboard journey. I am what's known as a poser. I got into skateboard culture

through Bobby Lee. I dressed as a skateboarder, a poser skateboarder, all through my 20s and 30s. I wore a multicolored wristband, sometimes a leather wristband. One time I was at in Las Vegas at wherever the Pirate Show is and they had a pirate show outside. Some guy walked by by, and some guy goes, fuck, poser. And I was like, how did you know? And I, you ever play it to yourself, like there's a lie, but you don't know, you don't, you think they don't know it's a lie.

Like if you have a service animal on a plane, and they go, do we see your paperwork? This is all very embarrassing, I have a condition, and I don't really wanna share it with you, and I really feel like he's infringing on my privacy. I really sell it to myself. Oh.

Anyway, I did that. What was that pirate's show in Vegas on the strip? There's a casino. Ah, I forget. And I was like, you don't know, because I could have been a skateboarder for all I know. But he knew something. He knew I was a, you don't know, cause I could have been a skateboarder for all I know. But he knew something. He knew I was a poser.

He was not wrong. To whoever that guy is, I owe you an apology. You were right. I am a poser. I was co-opting, culturally appropriating skateboard culture. Toy machine, I had a lot of those shirts. I can't even do an ollie. The best I could ever do is skate down a,

skate off a curb down onto the street. And that was high end for me. When I go to the skate park, I'll just do circles. I did drop into the vert ramp when I did a Hawk first, Hawk first, Hawk first wolf. But when I say drop in, i mean on my butt on my butt anyway guys that's the episode hope you enjoyed it um until next week next week emma willman

comes on the episode talk about the netherlands not amsterdam the north netherlands should be a very interesting one emma is a hilarious comment you guys will enjoy it please subscribe so you know that's coming and that's it see you next week bye how do you say goodbye in German a video same could be right bye