You Be Trippin' - Germany w/ Kevin Ryan | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

On this episode of You Be Trippin, Kevin Ryan stops by to talk about Schnitzel, the craziness of the autobahn, and his German wife. He also discusses the drinking laws in Germany, authentic food, avoiding the sights, and wanting to fit in with the locals. Other topics include: making language mistakes, getting by with English, the German demeanor, and the cleanliness of German bathrooms. Genießen! https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod You Be Trippin Ep. 04 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I call it the statues. So I was like, you have to almost see the statues, get them out of the way. And the statues are the museums, the actual statues, this building. You don't go to the Empire State Building. I've never been to a museum in New York. Why would I waste my time in Frankfurt to see what you're doing? I don't care. Where you been and where you going?

This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's You Be Trippin', yeah. Hi, everybody. Welcome to You Be Trippin'. The only travel podcast that's ever been created. Today, I got my friend Kevin Ryan on. You know Kevin as half of the team of Are You Garbage,

a podcast which unfairly described me as garbage. Still keeps me up at night. He's a funny comic, and he's also been places. So today, Kevin's going to come. What are you going to tell us about today? Germany, baby. Hell yes. The motherland.

The motherland. Yeah, Deutsche. Yeah. Deutschland, Deutschland, Deutschland, baby. Do they call it Deutschland or do they call it Germany? Well, I mean, it's Deutschland, I think. They wouldn't say I'm going back to Germany. Right.

I've only ever talked to them in English. Right, right, right. So they'll say Germany when they're speaking English. They'll say Germany. To me, yeah. I get Mexico, Mexico. It's like, all right, pronunciation. But when it's like England or Inglaterra or like Estados Unidos,

that's a translation, I guess. But the fact that Deutschland and Germany are two completely different. Where is it? I have no idea. Even if there was like, oh, it's Germania or whatever. Like, all right, I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense.

It's in the root word. That makes sense. It's Englishified or whatever, but I don't know. That was the first time. That just hit me literally two years ago. I'm like, wait, you guys call it a completely different... I'm also wildly an idiot. Yeah.

So I'm like, it didn't even occur to me that I'm like, yeah, that's what it's called in German. I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Yeah. What'd you do there? Why'd you go there? So my wife is actually German. Nice.

We met in New york yeah and uh she was here for like two days or whatever we met and then we just stayed yeah you know exactly nice dude wonderful night of passion nice and then uh we just stayed in contact and uh we would fly we started flying back and forth to see each other a lot oh really yeah yeah for years i love how those start where it's like it's almost like hey your pussy was really good i'm being all honest and i've said this to her so it's not like i just wanted a picture of her boobs i like i messaged like we like started i don't know it was like on facebook it got like recommended because you're not like when your phones are near each other it'll be like you may know this yeah so it it was like, you may know her. And I was like, oh, so we friended her or whatever.

And then we started talking. I was really just trying to get a picture of her boobs. And then I'm now married. Now you've got mental pictures. Yeah, eight years later. But that's how it started, yeah. And so then you would go back and forth a bunch. So we would fly back and forth.

And like I had never, the only time I had been out of the country, I think I did Canada, Mexico. Barely counts. Dude, we're like, I think I did Canada, Mexico. Barely counts. Dude, we're like, I come from like very untraveled people. Yeah. I think my parents went to Europe once when they got married. You know, they were like 23.

Yeah. And that's it. And then we just go to the Jersey shore. What'd they think if you go into Germany? What? What'd they think if you go into Germany? I mean, to also to break,

I mean, like my family's, they're like union fucking, you know, carpet. They're they're all like you know pipe fitters and shit like that you know what i mean that was like a call i had to make to my mom like hey i'm seeing a woman in germany and i'm flying there and she was like what the fuck like like blue you know they were like what the fuck are you talking it's amazing the different levels of travel yeah you'll get or people some people are like what the and other people other people are like, okay, this is Germany. Well,

that's what I think. If somebody was like, hey, I'm going to see my, I mean, I'm used to it now, but they're like, oh,

I'm going to see my girlfriend in wherever. Like, oh, that's fucking sweet, man. Like, it's normalized to me,

but my mom was like, who, what, give me an address in case you get kidnapped. It's hard to remember too. You know what I mean? Yeah,

like I've been to Amsterdam probably like six times now, six, seven times for states, always on every European tour it's there. Yeah. And so then people like, I'm going to Amsterdam, it's like, six, seven times for states. Always on every European tour, it's there. Yeah. And so then people like, I'm going to Amsterdam.

It's like, oh, cool. Fun city. Yeah. And it's like, it's lost its foreignness to me. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same way. Where is she from in Germany?

She's from Frankfurt. Okay. Which is very, you know, that's like, it's the banking hub. It's boring, right? I like it. It has like a Philly vibe to me. I'm thinking of Hamburg. I like Hamburg as well.

The vibe I got from Frankfurt, I don't know if it was Frankfurt or Hamburg, but it was just like, it's just boring and like banking. It is. So it's Frankfurt. So it's like the, it's the banking hub of the European Union.

So it's like, it's all the banks are there and it's very like, there's a lot of money there. Is that why it's called Frankfurt? The fort where they kept all the franks i guess could have been maybe i doubt it but maybe it was get some get the producer on that um and uh so it's yeah it's like that so it's the only one with like a sky it's the only european with high rises oh cool

they're not even that fucking you get there they're like we call it it's called frankfurt uh main which is on the main river, like Frankfurt on the main river or whatever, mine river or whatever. And they call it like Maine Hatton because I don't like it is fucking. There's like one building that has like eight stories and they're like, well, check out our skyscraper. Oh, my God. Their basketball team's called the Skyliners.

Like, it's like they pride themselves on the fact that it is fucking nothing. Well, everything else, like, you know, any other European city doesn't really have high rises, you know? Yeah. So like that's like one of their and I would do shows over there all the time. Like I started going over there. I would start doing shows. And that was always like an easy opener of like you. Oh, really?

You have American comedy there. Yeah. They have a lot of English stand up. It's it was pretty good. I mean, the scene's pretty good. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's whatever.. I mean, the scene's pretty good. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's whatever.

I would always do shows. I would ask to do like, hey, can I be on your show? And they're like, oh, sure. Like in-town shows. It was just happening in Frankfurt. And I was like, oh, going to a visitor. I'd be like, it'd be cool to do a show, whatever. I'd never performed in another country.

It is cool to check off a country off your leg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I did on Bangkok. Like, you want to do a show while you're here? And it was like, okay. And it's like like it gives you 500 i'm like even better yeah exactly i was doing it just for the experience yeah yeah uh so i just started doing i started like kind of planning them around that and the fact that i was like you know there's also the thing of like you land in another country and you're immediately the funniest guy in the country just by default

you know what i mean like not an ego thing like you're just the most proficient at the skill. Yeah. In English, at least. You know what I mean? Yeah, also, it's like, I was talking to Monroe about this. He went to Nairobi. Uh-huh. And it was like, that's a new scene there.

Yeah. And so he's like, by sevenfold the most experienced comic. Oh, yeah, just by, yeah, just by actual time. And so Australia used to be, do all the credits, like, on the wall of people who came was from America. Yeah. It was like pre-podcast. From die-hard New York City. Whoa. New York City used to be, do all the credits, like, on the wall of people who came was from America. Yeah. It was, like, pre-podcast. From New York City. New York City comedians here, you know.

It was really cool, and I still, like, every time I go back, I'll still do a show, you know, whatever. Yeah, cool. It's a good time. Yeah, it's awesome. So what do you get into when you're there? I, and I kind of learned this from you, from listening to, like, your old podcast of, like, you were always, like, big on, like, the experience. Not, like, the fucking, it's funny,'s the place or like the sites yeah like i don't

i don't care about museums i don't i i usually don't give a fuck yeah yeah that's the thing too it's like i was just in paris i got a louvre and i was like yeah i know you have to and then it hit me like but i actually don't want to and you can't just go up you got to make a reservation i had one and i was in somewhere else i was like i don't like i like modern art if anything and i don't want to see the fucking mona lisa i know what it looks like yeah i just don't care for me doesn't do anything for me yeah and if it was right there someone's like you want to go in right now like all right is there a line yeah let's pop in yeah they have beer cool exactly get a drink but like it's kind of like a motley crew if you're like i have motley crew tickets you're like uh free like when is Crue tickets, you're like, free? Like, when is it? It's like across the street. And it's right now.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I call it the statues. So I was like, you have to almost see the statues, get them out of the way. And the statues are the museums, the actual statues, this building, this river, whatever. You have to see the statues. And that's almost like a day one, like gives you something to do to get out of the house. But it's like, the second time you're in that city, you're like,'ve already seen the statues so now what's what's there to do yeah that's that's

exactly like i like doing like you don't go to the empire state building i've never been to a museum in new york why the fuck would i go why the fuck would i waste my time in frankfurt to see what your fucking art i don't care i genuinely don't give a fuck i'm like let's go get a beer and sit in the park and fucking whatever the locals are doing. You'd have to be like, hey, here's a human skin. Like an entire wing of human skin art. Something where I'm like, this is

something I would see online and be like, that's fucking why. It's also like, I'm so that's another thing. Museum of intolerance? That would be a nice one. Get behind that. It's like, I think because I'm so desensitized or whatever the word is from seeing shit online it's like i've seen beheadings right i don't care about your painting yeah what the fuck are we doing here man um so i always like to try to do like i never do any i've

never done any of that okay and that was like that was tough the first time like with my girlfriend she's like let's go here here i'm like i my girlfriend. She's like, let's go here. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Let's go get beers and hang in the fucking pool. I love doing that. And the biggest thing, and it's because I'm a big booze bag, but the drinking laws in Germany, it's Europe alone. But Germany are like.

It's great. If you're in the summer, right? It's just like. Anywhere. I didn't know you could just get a fucking drink and just walk down the street. Isn't it crazy? So I'm starting to do this now where it's like, what about another country makes you realize something about your own? Oh, I love that.

And that is like, what? Why don't we have that? And we did it for a little. In 2020, we had it. Oh, and it was like, dude, that was like my favorite time in the city. Walk tales. Oh, man. You would just get one to city. Yeah, walk tales. Oh, man. You would just get one to go.

Just to go. They had pouches. I used to sit in fucking Tom's Square Park. Tom's, yeah. It'd be like a nice summer night. You'd get like a six pack at the bar,

or like the corner store. Me and DeRosa had this realization. We went to 7B, we got a beer in one of those clear cups with a straw in it. Sure, okay.

And then I was like, let's get another beer. You know, drank at the park, let's get another beer. And then it was like, wait, there's a bodega next door. Yeah, why the fuck are we spending $7 a beer? Let's just get a dollar beer. Of course, of course. Oh, that was great. Just sit out there smoking cigarettes. It was like European. Everybody's eating in the streets

and those little booths. I fucking loved it. That's the shit I love. It's the experience. It's the feel. I don't get a feeling from seeing a painting or a statue or something like that like the coliseum or something like that i'd be like oh this is an overwhelming thing we're like architecture yeah something i did like the eiffel tower sure not even to go up in it just to be like this is just an art piece it's interesting just but i just went by it like oh look there it is you're right some of those things are so over like the grand canyon is like damn you you think it it triggers something

in your body your chemistry where you're like this is bigger than me this is fucking crazy cigar de familia in in barcelona this massive church yes certain things yeah but yeah but a museum is like why yeah i don't fucking yeah i just you know i don't get it so what do you do there um i drink a lot nice i fucking i'm a big booze bag and that's the fucking vibe man yeah like they they do it like a little classier like you know a little more that class just refined it's not like it's animalistic and i learned that because i'm just like a fucking Irish Catholic idiot from Philadelphia who's like you just drink

pound yes not elegant and you know patience and you know like they'll drink multiple different drinks throughout dinner have you been to other parts of Europe yeah so every time I would go it seems like Europe in general is just like there are more adults about it drink absolutely drink at lunch it's fine

but then they look down on someone who's drunk of course yeah because it shows like lack of self control or what you're a glutton you're like yeah and i get it too it's like it's like i don't know do like what pills or coke or whatever it's like dude you're barfing and it's like 10 p.m i know what's wrong with you yeah yeah yeah and like you don't drink like i do like an adult i know yeah control it a little bit um so the first time i i found out we could you could't drink? I do, like an adult. I know. Yeah, control it a little bit. So the first time I found out you could just drink on the streets, it was like fucking noon on like a Tuesday. And I was like, that guy's just fucking drinking. And I'm like, that's crazy.

She's like, yeah, you're allowed. I'm like, you're just allowed to just drink. Walking down the street, she's like, yeah. I'm like, well, I'm going to fucking get a beer. Because I also have that thing of like, if I'm allowed to do something and i'm not doing it i feel like i'm wasting it waste i would be flying back to america and be like how the fuck didn't i have a beer that day yeah that's why i can't do like all-inclusive stuff because then i'll just never leave i'm like i gotta keep eating i gotta keep eating i know the third day i'm like this fucking

sucks i'm sweaty i have to get the breakfast i have to get the yeah sweaty. I'm full. I have to get the breakfast. I have to get the, yeah. I know. Sweaty and I'm full. I mean, like, four dinner rolls just because they're there. I gained, no joke, 17 pounds on the Impractical Jokers cruise in four days. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. So, and this was the first time it was like European culture. She goes, just because you can, I went and got a beer.

She goes, just because you can doesn't mean you have to. Right. She's like, look around. You're the only person drinking walking down the street and i was like all right that's true that is that is kind of the the elegance-ness of it the truthful yeah do you want it there's a thing to you or do you get this where you want to fit in as a local even though you know you're not that's all i want to be i want to be a local i just want i go like if that's the cool nightclub i go i don't want to go there give me like the fucking hole in the wall yeah where people pre-game because it's dollar beers nobody's going

to 7b who's visiting town 100 it's just a bar if they do it's because their friend lives in the neighborhood let's go here it's just quiet i don't know yeah that's not on like a blog somewhere of like seven best bars to hit no it's not it's not a good bar exactly plenty of not good bars around around the east village and I love that shit. Yeah. I love like, I remember we walked into one place and she's like, this is, we walked by and she's like, oh, that's where like old men just go and sit and smoke and drink. I go, we're going in for a beer and a cig.

That sounds like my vibe right now. That's exactly what we're doing. Like, that's what I want to experience what the people do. Hi, guys. I'll break it in to let you know that myself and my guests are both stand-up comedians. Kevin Ryan has his new debut half-hour special live in Philly, available on the RU Garbage YouTube account right now. My special Jew is available at RU Shafir YouTube account.

You're watching this. Please subscribe at UB Trippin' Pod. I'm also on the road. I'm taping my new special April 26th and 27th in Washington, D.C. You can get tickets right now at arieshafeer.com. It's at the Capitol Turnaround. I'm excited to present it to you. Tickets are almost gone for the 27th.

We added a show on the 26th. Come on out and enjoy the party. I'm also going to be starting in April 28th. Knoxville, Memphis, Lexington. I'm just going to do this not sold out ones Cleveland, Grand Rapids Detroit, Toronto on April 6th, second show added

Halifax, damn that sold out, sorry Ottawa, Rutland, Vermont, Huntington, New York Austin, Texas on 420 and then those shows in Washington, D.C. then also my Australia run Melbourne, Adelaide Canberra Brisbane, Brisbane, and Sydney. Tickets right now at ru.com.

Now let's get back to the episode. Also, you can see Kevin Ryan on his own podcast, Are You Garbage? If you like people that are full of lies and misappropriation of who people are. If you want to hear who, uh, uh, uh, fucking just, oh, garbage. You throw it around like fascists or Nazi. You can't throw these words around. Check them out. And are you garbage?

I've been on there four times and I've never gotten a fair shake. Now let's get back to the episode. I'll see you at my special taping. And it's honestly not that exciting. Yeah. Like, they're not like, you know, fucking. It'd be like, I always relate it to like, what if someone's visiting New York? And I'd be like, try a dollar slice just so you can see,

but it's not good. But then try some other people. Anywhere you see a slice for like $4, it's going to be good. It'll be solid. Ask for fresh. What's fresh? But right now,

nothing specific. So I'm sorry. Keep going. Oh, yeah. And another thing I do love there is they have this, they're called kiosks. Like their bodegas are called kiosks.

Okay, interesting. Right? And it's like, it's a bodega. That's all it is. But they just call it kiosks. And bodegas are called kiosks okay interesting right and it's like uh it's a bodega that's all it is but they just called kiosks and i think i could be wrong but my interpretation of is they're all numbered right so i think like they're i guess the government's like your kiosk number of 77 there's no like branding to them or anything it's like a bodega just you know what you can get at these places and they'll put their so that's where everybody goes and gets you know pre pregame beers and stuff like this. And there's one in the Red Light District.

Nice. That's fucking became cool. And it's like it's a it's a pregame and a postgame hang. Like you go there for your pregame beers and then like a nightcap. Yeah. You go like, oh, let's go. Let's stop there. And it's all just locals. Just you go like oh let's go uh let's stop there and it's all just locals just you go in and they open up the beers for it like you go they go like it's

like for here to go oh wow they'll fucking pop them for you that they won't do in new york right in the bodega it's like her tickets right outside yeah here so they go here they go you open them you go yeah yeah open them and they take wow. And then your cigar for you. Exactly. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, like, oh, you're going to enjoy this. Right now. Yeah. Oh, it's fucking do this. Wow. Gentlemenly.

That's so great. It's one of my favorite things about the country as a whole. I go, you're going to I don't have to like we don't have to operate like, oh, am I going to drink it here? Put it in a brown bag. Right. Right. Right.

We're all walk. Yeah. And then sneak out. Yeah. They just go, you want me to open it? yeah yeah i'm up to my mind oh my god oh my god and you step out with a ice cold beer and you fucking and everybody's hanging out in the street right there like it's just like groups of like four people five people six people ten people it's like um where do you piss in the street or like not like in the street but like whatever like you would hear that you hide fucking behind or whatever yeah but it's also like you're not

hanging out there for an hour it's like let's meet here we'll all have a beer too yeah like let's all meet here while everybody wraps up like gathers okay and then we'll hit the bar down the street or whatever um and it's also too uh they, they, it became so cool. They have their own, uh, some brewery paired with them, like a group of young kids that have a brewery. So now they have their own beer. Like German beer is a thing. It's the, yeah, it's like, but now they also like they do, they are getting the more like craft beers and shit like that because it's becoming so popular here that like, you know,

I guess, uh, it's becoming popular over there as well. Um, but yeah, that's like one of my favorites. I i'm like we always got to fucking go there to be that's that sounds because that's what locals are doing perfect exactly what locals are doing that sounds perfect yeah when i went to austria i was trying to like decide the line between traditional and authentic uh-huh so like traditional the easiest one traditional thai uh is like street food whatever authentic is like 7-Eleven there's tons of 7-Elevens of course

so like to be like that's not authentic it's like it is this is what you'll get when you go to Chiang Mai it's like a lot of 7-Elevens of course and so it's like

in Austria they were like I was visiting my friend and she was like let's go there's a new burrito place and that's where everybody goes it's like

alright but yeah I want spetzel but they're like nobody eats that here yeah I know that's where everybody goes yeah all right but yeah i mean i want spetzel but they're like nobody eats that here yeah i know that's like the traditional uh yeah but that's another thing i always do too go to a fucking proper traditional german what's german food schnitzel house or whatever the fuck they're called dude they're so fucking good what is schnitzel schnitzel's uh there's it's veal i get veal pork chicken. I know chicken schnitzel.

Yeah, chicken schnitzel. I think they call that schnitzel art or something. Schnitzel art is chicken, and then wienerschnitzel. Wienerschnitzel, and what's that? I think veal. Veal. It's real fucking hammered out veal. And you hear, dude, when you're walking down the streets,

you hear those old fucking German dudes who've been doing this their whole life. Hammering it. It depends on where you go. And just you at all. There's like, you know, depends on where you go. There's hundreds of them. But there's certain neighborhoods. Sachsenhausen, I think, is the neighborhood. It's below the river. So that's like the north side of the river in Frankfurt.

And there's a lot of traditional. Traditional places, you know, it'd be like uptown and downtown type thing there's a lot of traditional uh restaurants on on that side of the river and like when you hear them just fucking dude just hammering out the v and it's like to make it flat yeah to fucking make it like to tenderize it to fucking flatten it out and tenderize it before they and then what is it breaded and breaded yeah it's like uh it's like a cutlet it's like their version of a cutlet i had it in munich yeah no no in berlin and it was like okay and it really is just like it's like a fucking grift dog yeah it's just like it's just there it's quick easy one it's good and it's like you

go in it's super traditional like if you go in like the fucking the house it's like the it's like a looks like a beer hall it's like the long wooden bed i don't know i'm calling it a house i don't know house yeah i don't know what the fuck they're traditional German restaurant. But like, they're not doing that on like Saturday night. That's like an event for them of like, let's go here to have like a it's typically like an event or something to do that. It's like, we're going to go. We haven't done this in a while.

Let's go here to have an authentic schnitzel place. Like, you don't do hibachi every Friday night. But like, oh, it's Steve's birthday. Let's go here to have an authentic schnitzel place yeah like you don't do hibachi every friday night but like oh it's steve's birthday let's go do a fucking we haven't done this in a while let's go do a fun so we said about street food like oh is this like real food in whatever place and like no because like think i mean street food life in america is not that big but like bacon wrapped hot dogs is not our normal food you know that's like a twice a year of course yeah maybe same thing for them it's like yeah twice a year thing. Of course. Yeah. Maybe. Same thing for them. Yeah.

Yeah. We'll do it maybe once every three months. Yeah. Like if you're visiting America, hot dogs, hamburgers. I'm like, I don't usually have. Yeah. I'm not having one every day. Yeah.

So I always go there and like it's fucking super. What are the sides? It's kind of it's like real basic. It's like you're ordering in like the fucking 1700s or whatever. Like that's the way they try to fucking keep those old school vibes. It's kind of it's like real basic. It's like you're ordering in like the fucking 1700s or whatever. Like that's the way they try to fucking keep those old school vibes. They're dressed up like the fucking St. Pauli girl or like the guy.

What are those called? The leader hose. They wear them. It depends. But some of them. Yeah. Is that because they're doing it for tourists or is that because that's what they're just supposed? They're just wearing that.

I they're it's not for tourists because because they don't have english menus wow and like if you ask for an english menu and they're like a little that's like the german attitude they're just just they're like we don't speak that here dude that's not our fucking it is and it's like this is a traditional you know i mean it's like going to a fucking it was like a cheese place in philly right like do you have a Chinese menu? Yeah. I'm like, no. No, what are you talking about? Yeah. And I think the German people are, they're like rude. Rude's a tough word. They're just a little colder up front. You know what I mean? But then like midway through the order, like if you're ordering, you're like, oh, in America,

you're like, this waiter fucking hates my guts. Yeah. But then like 15 seconds later, you're you're like oh we're best for like they it takes them a little while to open up and then they're laughing i'm that's my wife's always ordering for me which is the most demeaning fucking thing in the world to like have a grown woman oh i'm like yeah i have fries you don't need those yeah dude she does that please please dude she was reading me the menu one time because i'm a picky eater and she's like yeah all right so this this this because they wouldn't they didn't have English menus.

Most places have English menus, but they didn't have English menu. It was before I knew anything. She's like, oh, all right. So they have the wiener schnitzel, this, this. Oh, you're not going to like that. I'm like, you fucking read it to me right now. I already felt like such a pussy. I'm like, you fucking read me every goddamn thing on that menu, lady.

But then they're very warm and they're funny like you know but it takes like a barrier to get over it's not in their culture to come up like hey how you doing welcome to friendlies why yeah how you doing chief it's like what can i get for you and then they open up and they'll laugh it's like the trains the trains over on time they're like very that's the that's a stereotype yeah they're very like uh i don't know what the word is mechanical yeah it's mechanical it's like you know um it is and like i mean we'll get the job done yeah like that we're here to work and we're not here to be and they're just not like an overly cordial thing like right off the bat right you know um but i always go there always got to

fucking hit some sort of schnitzel house you know what i mean like that's like the new york pizza get the fucking pizza somewhere yeah um do that and they get they serve beer big fucking beers and they have this stuff frankfurt's known for its uh apple wine no what is that appville it's really called apple wine there's for uh and it's one of those things pictures of it i can send it to you. Send it to you later. And it comes in. Frankfurt itself has like, they're known for the apple wine. I guess I'm sure it's kind of everywhere, but I don't know. And they have these like gray and blue pitchers that they're served in. And.

Oh, yeah. That's so cool. Wait, I saw it. That? Yeah, that thing right there. Wow, yeah. That's so cool. Wait, I saw it. That? Yeah, that thing right there. Wow, cool. So they'll come over with a huge pitch of that, and that exact glass, they're like these little fucking eight-ounce glasses or whatever. But really, like, crystal-y? Yeah, and they have, like, the checks in them or whatever.

And I think most places make that, and then you just fucking... Is it alcoholic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. There's that, and then there's another one. Look at that. Is that like that on the streets with, like, the cobblestone and just, like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. There's that, and then there's another one. Look at that. Is that like that on the streets with like the cobblestone

and just like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all like... Yeah, you're just out hanging. Yeah, that seems like Germany. Yeah, it's cool. It's fucking... It's awesome.

I love it. And it's so funny too because like... It's just Frankfurt tourism. Yeah. It's specific to Frankfurt. I think it might be, yeah. Frankfurt Apfelwein,

they call it. This is so weird where they're like, oh, we don't really... Like you can get paella in Barcelona, but they're like, that's a Madrid thing. Yeah, it's not really what we do. So this is so weird where they're like oh we don't really like like you can get paella in barcelona but like that's a madrid thing yeah it's not really what we do this is a madrid style place and we're serving it so like everyone's like oh i guess you'd get that munich but we don't really yeah it's not like our specialty it's like we can whip it up for you i guess but it's not our thing right uh and then there's another thing too that they do um damn

cool yeah it's like fun and this was like the first time and i think it is like the how you position your head of like we go out to dinner right in america yeah you'd like eat and you're like all right let's go to the bar and get fucked up okay they kind of combine it a little bit in the sense of like so we ate like you know we're all like eating and drinking like you would at a regular dinner or whatever there's like 10 of us it's all her and her friends and brother and like all you know it's just like their crew yeah now i'm just like i'm out with your crew this is what a group of we're going this is 28 to 32 year olds would do on a saturday night whatever you know what i mean um and there's it's like do they speak english for you yeah most of them do some of them

don't and like they want to try they all learn english and like and also trying to include their friend's husband yeah but also i'm like hey listen i don't give a fuck like tall i don't need to be part of every conversation either like it's like i'd rather tune out yeah i don't care about you oh they're saying the guy from work i go i don't need to know that about your guy from work ever hear louis bit about it. No. Staying that French chick, I think.

And, uh, so she, he'd meet a lot of her French friends and they're like academics. And like, some of them are like PhDs and really brilliant, but their English is not great. So they have to act like kindergartners.

I was like, I have good day. You also good day. Brilliant people. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's the same thing.

And I go like, don't fucking switch. And I also think about it for me. I'm like, if I was out with my fucking boys and to speak basic Hebrew and this guy came over, I'd be like, yeah, man. Like, I'm like, this is your night. Like, this isn't my like, you're not here to entertain me. Like, yeah. Like, you all have day job. You all fucking work.

You like enjoy your time with your boys i don't fucking need everything yeah i'm not the guest of honor exactly exactly so wait here yeah so you finished so you're all at dinner so we're all at dinner you do the schnitzels the whole thing it's like you got the big fucking busty mean waitress who's like rude and doesn't like only guy contact she gets like upset with the orders and stuff it's like so on brand of what you that's like the simpsons wrote it you know what i mean yeah um and then uh yeah they have this like it's it's like a shot of like a peach i forget what the fuck it is but it comes in it and then you gotta like eat the peaches like soaked in alcohol and like we did like it just like another soaked in alcohol and then like it's

it's it's on top there's a stick through it and it's sitting on top of the i could fucking text my wife for the name of it but um wait a peach is a stick through it there's like a stick through this like weird peach type fruit dude this seems like frat shit it is but it's like and that's been soaked in alcohol then that's sitting like imagine you like put the stick through the fruit and then stick the stick on top of the shot glass. You know what I mean? So it's like kind of like a top.

So it's rest on top. And then I think you bite it and then do the shot or vice versa. Really? And it's not super strong. Like, it's not like alcohol wise. Like you could do. It's like a jello shot. Okay.

But it's like real old school traditional shit. That's cool. And then we were like, let's do one more. And then we did like seven of those shot But it's like real old school traditional shit That's cool And then we were like let's do one more And then we did like seven of those It's not like doing a shot of Jameson Where it's like I can catch a buzz off these But it's like a fun thing And it was just like

Super cool like one more You know what I mean You're like at this big wooden table And everybody's like spilling drinks and stuff I will always be down for a Jell-O shot. Oh. Like if you're at a bar and you see them and it's not hot. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're ordering at the bar. That's crazy. You know when they come with a tray. Sure, sure, the tray. I'm like, yeah, yeah, of course. Definitely at a tailgate. Anyway, so okay. So then you just stay there and keep doing it?

Yeah, you just stay and then you like spill out of there of there and go whatever they just clear off the food and now it's just yeah now you're just hanging yeah you're just like that's fun you're just fun lifestyle fucking chilling you know i like to come back around and this and that you're doing the beers and they're like oh i want more round of shots or whatever you know um so that's like always we are like that's like a staple we'd always try to fucking you know get one of those get some kind of crew together and go to one of those and just like it's like a proper night of like oh that sounds fun just drinking everybody's shitting on somebody if you go to like genos and then like as your table gets clear they just start bringing you beers you don't have to get up yeah you're just hanging you just hang

for like we i mean we were there for like three hours or whatever you know or whatever the fuck it was you know yeah just hanging and drinking uh it was also too if i felt bad there was this one kid i guess he's like i was hanging it was like her a lot of her brother they're like the same age so it was like a lot of her brother's friends who are all like now my like i'm friends with but it was like early on one of our early trips and i could see the dynamic of the group as they were all shitting on this one kid like he was like the butt of the jokes in their crew like oh yeah like fucking steve over here or whatever so i'm like oh to get in with them i'm like i gotta fucking start shitting on this dude and i started the roast of the group i

started killing this dude and they're all like oh like the jokes didn't even have to be that good i'm just an american new guys in oh dude i was i looked i made eye contact with this dude i'm like i'm sorry man but like this is prison I'm like, I'm sorry, man. It's prison rules. It's kill or be killed, man. I'm sitting here with a bunch of fucking barrel-chested German guys, and I don't want to turn it on me. How hot are German girls?

They're very attractive. There's also the two different I learned. Styles of chick? Well, the traditional Oktoberfest German, you know, like the blonde hair, blue eyes, with the St. Pauli girl girl, that's southern Germany. That's like Munich and stuff

like that. There's Germany way over here. Berlin. Yeah, so that's more like Austria. Yeah, Vienna is down here, so it's probably like, yeah, it's an old Austria. Vienna is down here. So it's probably like, yeah. Yeah. It's an old map.

This is still Pangea. Yeah, pretty much. So that's like more. I mean, obviously, like it's all whatever, but that's more the traditional is like the southern. And like the north makes fun of the south the same way we do. That's like their redneck. You know what I mean? Like, I don't even understand their accent.

They don't even speak German. It's, you know, it's like their redneck you know what i mean like i don't even understand their accent they don't even speak german it's you know it's like bavaria bavaria is they're like it's they're like these fucking hillbillies down here you know what i mean yeah they're like i don't even know what the fuck she's not even speaking german what the fuck she's saying um so then there's that but then there's also like this you know more european i guess because like my wife's in german, my wife's Czech. Like her parents are Czech. Really? They they went over as refugees in the 70s.

Oh, so she was born in Germany, though. Your wife. Yeah, she was born in Germany. But like this, this happens to the thing of like like my like we have kids and then they have kids like there's not gonna be any German blood. Like if you do the DNA test, right? Like I thought great great grandma came from Germany. It's like she just yeah, like her blood, but her blood is. kids like there's not gonna be any german blood like if you do the dna test right like i thought great great grandma came from germany it's like she just yeah like her blood but her blood is eastern european you know what i mean you're irish right yeah yeah so so in america like

you're american like no i mean it comes back to yeah it goes back to uh ireland but yeah i don't know so it's like that's another thing that i'm like, she's not. Or my lineage won't be like culturally. They're German. German. But like, there's also she'll be living here more longer than she's lived in Germany. Are there any black people there? Not a lot. I did some shows where there was a couple of black guys because they were there for the Air Force.

Okay. Yeah. It was the Army. Or that's what I meant. The Army. Yeah. Yeah. The Ramstein Air Force, or whatever the fuck it is, or V spot or wherever the fuck I was.'s when I met the army. Yeah. There's like a Ramstein Air Force,

or whatever the fuck it is, or V-Spot, or wherever the fuck I was. But it was kind of crazy. I was doing a show, and there was one black guy in the crowd. I was like, what's up, dude? I was like, where are you from?

And he's like, the US. I'm like, yeah, I fucking, you know, kind of picked up on that. But they also have like a lot of like, you know, a lot of like African people go there and stuff like that. Yeah, Nigerians are big other places you were like oh where you from and they're like hit you with some accent like oh not where i expected anyway give me that weed um it's two for ten motherfucker uh so uh and i was like oh where

are you from and he's like uh uh this u.s i'm like oh yeah no shit and he's i'm like where at he's like pennsylvania i'm like yeah where at he's like philadelphia i'm like oh yeah no shit and he's i'm like where at he's like pennsylvania i'm like yeah where at he's like philadelphia i'm like no shit where at no he's like northeast philadelphia i'm like fucking what street and he was from like 10 blocks away from like where i was really i'm like whole we came all the way over here and i'm like it was like we would have went to like the same elementary school or something like that yeah yeah um but't think, too, is I remember she came here for pizza and I'm like, I got to taste. So I took her out to fucking. What are the ones like Grimaldi's and the other one over in Dumbo or whatever?

We went there and I'm like, you know, fucking I'll show you. Meanwhile, like I couldn't afford the dinner and so I was so fucking poor. And I'm like, she's like, yeah, it's fine. And I'm like, what do you mean? It's fucking fine. Like, you know, and she's like, Italians make our pizza. And I'm like, she's like, yeah, it's fine. And I'm like, what do you mean? It's fucking fine. Like, you know, and she's like, Italians make our pizza. And I'm like, you're German. You don't know fucking shit about pizza.

You dumb broad, you know? And she's like, I, she lives. The same people that make your great pizza make our great pizza. Yeah. She's like their proper, like she used to live above a pizza place. Yeah. That was proper Italian. That's so weird.

Cause then when you get to that, we were in, like, Chinese food. How are they going to make Chinese food? It's like, well, how do they make Chinese food in New York? Of course. Of course. Chinese people have left and gone to another place. It's not like some Ecuadorian. And meanwhile, there's probably Ecuadorians making the Chinese food here. You know what I mean? That's a good point. Yeah, that's a good point.

But, so that was another thing. I was like, holy shit. Yeah. And the pizza was like fucking fantastic. Wow. And I was like, oh shit. Yeah. And the pizza was like fucking fantastic. Wow. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm that American. It really is like the stuff we have here is the only thing. So when you see every see cars in Frankfurt that you're like, what brand is that? Oh, yeah.

Like, what the fuck is this? Like a Skoda or whatever. It's almost like you laugh at it, but like why it sells 800 million a year. I know. It's like one of the biggest car. Skoda. Yeah. That's what I'm like.

You're so good at cars that we buy your cars. Right. I know. It's like one of the biggest car companies. Skoda. Yeah, that's one out there. I'm like, you're so good at cars that we buy your cars. Right. You know what I mean? Like, your cars are our best cars. Like, you don't see any Ford Tauruses on the fucking Autobahn. None. Yeah, like, they don't make it over. Have you driven the Autobahn? Yeah. Wow. It's fucking, I highly recommend it.

Where is it? It goes through Frankfurt? So, this is what I thought. Autobahn is just the term for highway. I thought it was like is just the term for highway. I thought it was like, I did the same thing. I thought it was a lap. I'm like, I kept seeing like Autobahn, Autobahn, Autobahn. And I'm like, this thing's fucking huge. I'm like, you live right by the Autobahn? So I'm pretty sure it's just the word for highway or a similar translation to that.

Like, yeah, you would say like, all right, so get on, you know, you got to hop on the highway and to go to Jersey. They'd like hop on right, so get on. You got to hop on the highway to go to Jersey. They'd hop on the Autobahn and go. But then the certain sections of it are no speed limit. That's where it's like lights out. That's where. And dude, one of some of the coolest fucking feelings you can feel. Or I felt.

Did you go and just open it up? Yeah, man. So we rented. So we drove from Germany to Switzerland, did a couple nights in Switzerland, and then to Italy, and did a couple nights in Italy, and then drove back for a wedding in Italy.

They all get married in northern Italy. It's relatively cheap, and it's a 30-minute flight to Milan or whatever. And there's a bunch of nice lakes and mountain ranges up there and shit. So they all get married there that's like their destination would be like is frankfurt expensive no not super expensive uh there's parts of it because like there is like a lot of money with like the banking and stuff we live in

an expensive city yeah frankfurt i would argue is not an expensive city i could be wrong i know berlin's way more like expensive i think interesting Or at least parts of it are. I forgot, yeah. I think Hamburg's a little, I could be wrong, though, is a little more affordable. But I mean, I could be completely fucking wrong. Back to the Autobahn, sorry. No, so we rented an Audi or something, and I don't know how to drive stick,

which is also fucking emasculating when she has to drive when we're over. Dude, we had to pay an extra $1,000 to an automatic to get an automatic car and i'm like because we were driving like 10 hours so i'm like i have to like you i'm like i can't have you drive 10 hours different side of the road though right no same side same side okay uh so i think different sides only the uk it is hard to shift with your left hand uh oh, yeah. I've never driven in the UK. Yeah, that would be. I'm also constantly because you go to switch lanes.

But since you're on the other side, you just turn the windshield wiper on. It's kind of like, oh, no, wait. That's a dead giveaway. You don't know what the fuck you're doing. Suddenly a windshield wiper comes on and you make a left. Yeah. So we rented this fucking Audi And She was like yeah And it's so weird too

Like we get so nervous around cops Because you're like oh fucking slow down How fast do you go? Fast man like fast to the point where I was nervous Yeah I was It's gotta be like a hundred and fucking twenty-ish Over a hundred Oh well over a hundred

Is it windy at all or is it very straight? No it's only like those are are only the dead straightaways. Because otherwise you would die. Is there any vibe of like you can't be in... Is it left lane fastest? So this is another thing. The Germans follow rules like nobody else in the world. Hence fucking World War II.

They were so good at wiping us out. They were just like, this is what you guys are telling... If France was in charge, it would have been 1 million jews exactly that would have been like whatever yeah yeah um they fucking so it's like also one another one of the coolest things i've experienced ever just seeing it it's like because they all listen to the rules i've never seen anybody i've never seen traffic executed perfectly so where it's like music like there's no like when you when you follow the rules it is perfect like nobody you're only in the left lane to pass like you're not like there's no like stay there yeah no it's just right back so it's like this

flow state where if you're doing say you're doing 90 miles an hour in the middle lane and you're coming up on a car in front of you you just like fucking and then go right back and then you're just like this because someone else might be coming behind you at 150 yeah if yes exactly but they'd have to be passing so you'd see but you kind of so this is what happens. So they know. So like. And also you can rent a bunch of fucking like Lamborghinis and Ferraris and shit just to fucking open it up.

Yeah. And so like you see them. They kind of like make their presence known when they're coming. If there's like a cluster of cars, you see like everybody kind of because everybody's hanging in the middle lane, you know, and then just like passing. So middle lane is quite fast, quite fast. But like. And then is there a right lane right lanes like you're you know just you're going speed limit whatever you know what i mean um and so so so that middle lane really becomes like our left lane where i'm opening it up and then like if i but if this guy's going 95

and i'm going 110 i gotta get around yeah exactly yeah but then if you go back to 60 but no one's ever hanging in the left lane unless you're like right fucking flying yeah so you see it like i remember seeing this like black lambo fucking all the way in the rear like you see everybody kind of getting over and then like you hear it too like they're like revving their engine i guess to go like hey i'm fucking i'm coming i'm coming in hot here and you can hear from that far yeah you just see him like a speck and And then like everybody, everybody's in the middle lane. And dude,

he comes flying to the point where like the car, like really your car fucking shit. And that's crazy. Cause you're going 90 miles an hour. He passes you like you're not even moving. Like you're in standing still. It's fucking. I was like a child. I was like,

Holy fuck. Look at him. Holy shit. I'm doing, I'm doing like the math I'm like I'm doing 100 he's gotta be doing fucking 7000 miles an hour yeah when you get passed fast on the highway you're like whoa it's the thing that like your human brain

can't you're like what the fuck if I was stopped and he passed me that fast that's like he's doing 60 it was really cool so like that you know I definitely recommend fucking just experiencing that and I'm not even a car guy like I drive a fucking Kia like I. Wow. And I'm not even a car guy. I drive a fucking Kia.

I'm not like a – it's just an experience where you're like, holy shit. Were you scared when you're getting that fast? Were you like, this is too much? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't mad. I was just like, all right. There's that thing in your body where you're like, all right, chill, chill, chill. Are you looking down real quick to see how fast you're going?

They're just like, what's – Yeah. It's like hyper-content, and you're like – Yeah, chill chill are you like looking down real quick to see how fast you're going they're just like yeah it's like hyper constant you're like all right you know you're like yeah my wife's just like on her phone like yeah you can't be like changing the radio trying to put a new song on or whatever um yeah it's fucking sweet dude it's really it's really it was that's like definitely one of the coolest and i mean i've been to like a good amount of countries over there you know i don't know 7, 8 whatever 10 I don't know

and that was like the Autobahn's like one of because it's unlike anything you have here where you can be like I can do 100 I can do 112, 15, 30 miles an hour and not have to worry about cops yeah the worry about cops like even if you go that fast you also worry about

cops or some idiot driving slow but they just follow the rules right it seems like it works because cop like even if you go that fast you also worry about cops or some idiot somebody comes slow and they just follow the rules it right it seems like it works because you can guarantee that nobody do they have signs to let you know how it's supposed to be yes i forget exactly what it is but i think it's uh i think it's like the speed limit just say the speed limit's like i don't know i'm making this up 75 fucking kilometers an hour or whatever there's like a circle or a line it's like a double circle or a double line that indicate like you can open it the fuck up here like it's on it's on the speed limit

sign that says like it's recommended you do 75 but you're allowed to fucking really open it up damn yeah it's really fucking cool yeah that sounds fucking it's like a primal feeling of like i've never gone this fast, you know. Yeah, here we ruined. You wouldn't be able to, you would die. Get the fuck off my tail, dude. And it's like, dude, get out of that lane. You get out of the way. You get out of the way. Yeah.

They're not trying to attack you. They're just like, come on. Let him pass. The first time I was here, the first time she was here, we drove on, we were driving to Philly on like the New Jersey Turnpike or whatever. She's like, this is crazy. She's like, this is absolute chaos. She's like, this guy's passing on the right. Then he's zigzagging over there.

She's like, this. You ever see those street racers here? Oh, yeah. Like on the highway. You see one zipping it, and then another one comes. And they're chasing them. It's so fucking. I was like, I hope it's road rage.

This is their plan. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also, yeah, it's not like hot rods. It's like a four runner and like a Civic. Yeah. Civics are always like, they soup those up. Yeah.

That Nissan Altima is really fucking, I think they can think they're nice cars. Yeah. Can you get by with English out there? Like if you leave your wife. So like I haven't, to the point where I would say it's hurt my german because they don't want to speak fucking german once they hear your accent because they all speak english they all speak english and they want to speak it with a native speaker they can practice they can practice and stuff like that yeah when i'm a little puerto rico i'm like any chance i get to practice my spanish yeah because it's an asset to them of like you know i get to fucking

and you do this they hear the quirks and the the slang because think about when they travel it's english like they're not speaking german when they go to even if they go to china they're probably speaking english my danish friend she said um she said she met some backpackers and uh and and um they were like thank god i speak english because you don't have to learn any languages she goes thank god you don't have to learn any languages but it is nice that everyone comes together with English. Sure. If you're a German and a fucking, you know, whatever.

Filipino guy. You're probably going to meet in the middle. That's both our second languages. So at hostels, it's just like that is generally. Unless you meet like a Swiss person and a German where they're like, we're doing German. That's another thing. I didn't know what Swiss people spoke spoke they speak a lot they speak four there's four languages that i think for french german swiss no wait french german swiss and that weird one yeah there's like

yeah there's i forget what it is but i was just like my wife was like what do you think they because she started speaking german like when we ordered first of all switzerland's like the most expensive place that's expensive dude we stopped at like some like fucking shitty. We were driving back to Germany. We stopped after a wedding. We stopped at some fucking like shitty, just like lunch place. And it was like 110 euro for lunch. It's like this is crazy.

I was just talking. We didn't even have beers. Like it was just like. I was talking to someone. You go to like third world countries and you're like, you're like, only pay for lunch. In Ecuador, they have this thing. So I'm where's this? Which means countries and you're like you're like only pay for lunch uh in ecuador they have these things on where's those which means lunch but it's like it means like prefix or whatever and you got to pay you're like how much was it like five dollars and you're like five dollars for lunch like total for both yeah and you get like

a fresh squeezed juice with it and you're like you have to do the math like wait what's the what's the currency change like wait it couldn't be this much. And then, like, the other way is Switzerland. What? That's probably how people feel when they come to America. They're like, can I have a beer? And they're like, yeah, nine bucks. You're like, nine dollars? That's it.

If you come from Switzerland, you're like, everything's cheap. Yeah. Wow, that's cool. Sorry, what the fuck were we saying? How did I get there? I forget. People speak English. Oh, yeah.

So also, too, like, I had a cool experience in Germany when she was still living there. What the fuck were we saying? How did I get there? I forget. People speak English. Oh, yeah. So I'll. So also, too, like I had a I had a cool experience in Germany when she was still living there. I would go for like a couple of weeks at a time and just like live like I wasn't a tourist. Like she would get up and go to work. I would fucking, you know, I'd like go work out. I go for like a run in the park. I would fucking, you know, do some writing or like try to shoot. Like I was doing these stupid fucking beer reviews at the time and i would just like dude yeah i would just do like stupid fun shit but like like i was living there kind of you know what i mean like i wasn't

like i gotta get up at seven and hit the museum and then you can repeat like i like this coffee shop i'll just go to this yeah i'll go i go down there i go down there and i'm writing i'm listening to sets plus i was doing it i was you know i would do sets in this, you know, like, if they had, like, an open mic and, you know, one showcase show a week or something, I would try to do that. So I'm like, oh, I'm working towards that. I'm writing. I'm listening or whatever. Just, like, kind of what I would do in America, just in a German set. That's so cool.

Which is really fucking awesome. But my German sucks. My vocab is better than I give it credit for. Like I can hear her talking to her parents or something and go like, yeah, like I know, you know, I know where it's at.

A lot of it's overlapping too with English, right? There's a good amount. Yeah. I remember hearing somebody said, like, I know you're talking about God. Yeah.

There's a lot like good as Guta and like, you know, uh, all that shit. So it's like, there's definitely a crossover, but, uh, I remember the one time I was I was like fucking I was out front of a cafe. It was like early on.

I hate talking. I have no confidence in it. I feel like freeze. Right. I feel like I can look at my Google Translate. I'm like, ask for it. Please. Yeah.

Wow. And whatever you get there, like, can I help you? It's like it's just gone. It's gone. We were at a wedding early on. Like when we were were dating we were at like one of her friends weddings and i was like let me get a and typically i have like a friend there like her best friend's uh husband is like my fucking homie like we're like we hang out like we get along i'd be friends with him even if there wasn't you know he's a spanish dude who just fucking drinks and smoke cigarettes like crazy.

So we get along awesome. And, uh, so I typically have him like if the girls are doing whatever, like he's my, like, Oh, I'll,

I'll handle all the social interactions, the ordering, the whatever, you know? Um, but I was at a wedding by myself. I didn't really have like a fucking crew to let, you know?

So I was like, I kept having my wife get me drinks because we were like you're in like the fucking countryside of germany we weren't in like fucking that's we weren't in frankfurt we were like there's nothing for you where there's like set up they don't speak english like they don't fucking there's no reason we were we went out it's the best it'd be like going to like the cats or whatever yeah we were like and i'm like in it we're in this church that was like, it was like wild. Like this tiny little village church

from like the 1300s. Damn. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm not even a religious guy at all but I'm sitting there and I'm like, there's something,

this was, I was just like, there's something that triggers in you of like, this is some sort of, I don't know. You know animism?

You know the religion animism? No. It's the world's oldest religion. It's just that every animal and even objects have a type of soul. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like humans, bears, whatever, but also like rocks. So if you're touching the pyramids in Egypt, you're almost like,

I'm transporting, this rock has seen thousands of years here. So a church like that, we're like, whoa, this was here before Columbus came to America. Yes, yeah. Like, damn. And I was just like,

there's something in here. So we're in that small-ass fucking village, and we're at the venue, and they don't speak English, the bartenders. So I'm, like, I'm asking her, I'm, like, hey, can you, she was getting me beers. I'm, like, can you get me a beer? And she would go up, and then, like, finally she's, like.

Go get it. Yeah, she's, like, dancing with her friends or something. She's, like, just fucking go ask for. It's a fucking beer, just ask. I know, she's, like, a vice beer, a wheat beer. Yeah, oh, yeah, those are good. So I'm, like, all right, man. So I'm man so I'm like I'm like also pretty fucked up at this point so I walk up

I'm like that does help your other languages yeah booze because the inhibition is just like you stop drinking

two drinks and you just go for it you're like I'm gonna fucking yeah yeah exactly it's like doing a set when I was younger I'm like I gotta have

fucking I gotta get out of my head asking a girl out anything where it's like inhibitions to the wind I know how to do this if I just let go of my inhibitions

yes so I go up and I'm like ein weissbier and he's like. Inhibition to the wind. I know how to do this if I just let go of my inhibitions. Yes. Yes. So I go up and I'm like, ein Weissbier. And he's like, and there's music. And he's like, was? Damn it. And I'm like, fuck. I needed it clean. I'm like, ein Weissbier.

And he's like, I'm like, I'm like, now, dude, I'm panicking. I'm like, that's not it. I'm like, Weissbier. And he goes, ah, OK. And I'm like, oh, dodged a fucking bullet. And he's like back there. And he turns back around and hands me a white wine. I'm like, vice beer. And he goes, ah, okay. And I'm like, oh, dodged a fucking bullet. And he's like back there. And he turns back around and hands me a white wine. I'm like, oh, thank you.

I guess I'm just drinking white wine. I love that you're like, if it was America, you're like, can I get a blue moon? And then they bring you like, even a wrong beer. You're like, no, no, I said blue moon. But there you're like, sure. Thanks, buddy. This is for you. It's liquor. Yeah. And then I turn to my wife and say, what are you doing? I'm like, this is what he gave sure thanks buddy this is for you it's liquor yeah I'm like

and then I turn to my wife and say what are you doing I'm like this is what he gave me she's like you fucking idiot so she went up he's like you wanted you wanted a wheat like in German

and they like laughed or whatever I was like I just like it sucks dude I'll just accept it fine well I couldn't even

I didn't have the tools to order it I don't have the tools to clean up the order you know what I mean I can't be like no no no my good sir I would like up the order. You know what I mean? I can't be like, no, no, no, my good sir. I would like, you know.

That's actually not the worst thing. So then also too, you'll go into a cafe. I remember pumping myself up to be like, alright. Ein Filtercafe. Because Filtercafe is like the drip coffee, like American coffee. And I order like a two-year-old immigrant.

I just like buzzwords. You know what I mean? I'm like, ein filterkafei schatz. It's so funny you go back to being a kindergartner. Yeah. One coffee cup. Yeah. Please one coffee cup. And that's when I hear now, when I hear Latino people speaking English,

and you're like, what time it is? And you're like, oh, idiot. And then I realize after learning Spanish a little bit, like that's actually the correct. It's in the right rhythm. It's in the right rhythm. It's in the right sequence. Yeah, but it's like good enough. This, more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like another glass of water. I ordered, it was like one of those days I was like out on my own, which I do like. What did you say? Transsexual dude. What did you order? I'm sorry. I don't have to pay for those.

They'll come for free. I was like out on my own. And like I said, I've learned this from listening to you of like, just fucking go and, you know, fucking put yourself in a weird fucking situation. Or like,

so I would like on those days I would go out. Like when I was just like there by myself. It's a good tip, by the way, we should start doing, I should start doing this. I got to start thinking this is a new podcast. So I guess I think it's's like and one is like what what

trips what tips do you have for travelers so i'm gonna count this one just fucking go like go and figure you know it sucks and i'd be like pacing out front of the store like all right fucking you know like getting like this or that um i said uh i ordered like uh like – because there's so many Turks. There's so many Turkish people in Germany. So Turkish coffee? No, kebab, like whatever, like a shawarma type. Is there a lot of shawarma and shit there? Oh, yeah.

Because they were the number one refugee place, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They took in like two million. But there was even before that. Also, I love how everyone's like, oh, they're changing the fucking landscape here, all these fucking whatever. Germany, I mean, England had that too, London. I mean, it's like, yeah, there's late night food now. Yeah.

It's not just terrorism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's also a great late night food scene. There's also good benefits to it. And I ordered like whatever, like a number four kebab, whatever, and I didn't want tomatoes. So I said nine tomaten, which is no tomatoes. That's like the English translation

is no, but they would say, they wouldn't say no tomaten. They would say without tomato. Without, yeah. Seen, yeah, it was without and not no. It'd be like, yeah. So Germans would be kind of tomaten, without tomato.

But I was like, yeah, can I have a number? Can I have the kebab? No, tomato. And I wonder if they go, I think he's American. I think he means he wants tons of tomato. Extra tomatoes. Yeah, nine of them. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what I'm ordering.

I'm ordering the English one. Americans love tomatoes, man. They're ketchup country. I guess, I don't know. So, yeah. So my wife's like, oh, what'd you have? And I told her, she's like, how'd you order it? And I told her, she's like, no.

But it goes back to, like, the Spanish guy saying, what is your time? But you can get it. As long as you can get it. Just figure, that's communication. Just because I was just in Paris, I figured out, may I please have. There's, like, these buzz phrases that you can apply to anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I have, may I have. And then plug in a fucking

vocab that you know. The key to the bathroom, chicken, another coffee, anything, the check, anything. 100%. And so it was and then my friend who was like a high level, he goes that's very formal the way you're saying that. But I was

like four days in, I'm like I'm not learning a new way. Yeah, and it's working. They understand what I'm saying. They understand it's not mine, but it's like you know, I'm meeting you in the middle, you're saying that. But I was like four days in. I'm like, I'm not learning a new way. Yeah, this is working. They understand what I'm saying. They understand it's not good enough. But it's like, you know, I'm meeting you in the middle. We're trying here. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So she's like, no, but fine. No tomatoes. No. Yeah. I'm highly autistic and I hate them. But there's also the thing, too, of like if you go like because that was like a Turkish spot.

Do they have homeless in Frankfurt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're they're seedy is a little more seedy. Like I was walking around. I feel like Germany invented gutter punk. Yeah, I could have.

Like that that industrial like like pencil through the ear. Sure, sure, sure. They definitely have. There was a park by her place. It had like some bad like guys hanging. It was like Thompson Square Park. It was like, you know, there was people living in there. But like they never bothered you. But you're like walk by and be like your shoulders would go up a little. You know, you'd be like, I keep your fucking head on a swivel here.

You know, don't just you can't be like lollygagging at midnight through the park. Oh, right. Right. It's like you got to be aware of it. But also, too, when you like you order in a cafe to like a german you know say it's like a 25 year old german girl so you're like hey you know i'm filter cafe schwarz like black gross uh large i think i just like that's pretty good plug in like the whatever um but then they go uh for here to go they hear your thing and immediately switch to english they go for here to go and you're like fuck come on man like i just you know i know go. And you're like, fuck, come on, man. Like, I just, you know, I know.

I love when you're like, I learned all the words and you're hitting me in English. Yeah, but it's like, I almost want to. Yeah, I almost want to be like, like, like hit him with some Hebrew. But no, no, I'm not. You got to keep coming back. Let's go back. Let's go back. Yeah.

That's the way to get out of tickets, by the way. Learn another language. So if you're in Thailand and you get pulled over, speak to them in German. Really? Because they only know the English.

If they're shaking you down, and they're eventually like, you're like, let me be in Omer. And they're like, no, you owe me this. Let me be in. And they're like,

get out of here. Yeah, it's not worth their time to try to sit there and negotiate in translation. That's good. Hopefully I can fake German. I'll just order no tomatoes from the Thai police. What's nightlife?

It's just bars and stuff? It's just bars. There's obviously those clubs. You'll walk by and you'll hear those fucking, some weird, it's like a bee at the bottom of like a basement so you're like where the fuck are these that's how berlin was where you walk along you hear music but it's just like a row i think this is a door and then it's like then it gets louder and some guy with one of those like cash boxes goes five yeah okay yeah yeah same same similar shit it's obviously way toned down

then berlin berlin's like you fucking. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. We also did Oktoberfest, which was fucking wild. That's just going to be a separate episode. Okay. Oktoberfest is a whole thing. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Oktoberfest is a whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did, yeah. I did it. I think Yanni went also. I think Yanni and Chris went. They went together, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's wild. It's great. It's so fun. I haven't. Yeah. I experienced pure euphoria in that tent oh yeah well we'll talk about it later that it's it's a whole episode it's probably way more than an hour but it's just a short so yeah yeah you can you can definitely do it in an hour um oh yeah yeah i'm trying to think of what else um nightlife nightlife like i said i would just do like what they were doing how are the bathrooms i don't understand why we don't why we're not on the european system for the european system well it's like all right so public bathrooms are you pay like maybe a euro

or 50 cents or something but there's a guy taking that money to clean it yeah it's he's cleaning it and i go i would rather people like, that's fucking commie shit. You're paying for a fucking public bathroom. I'm like, I'm paying for the cleanliness of the public bathroom. The public bathroom's there. Also, or what's the option?

Have no public bathroom. Have no public bathroom. Yeah, it's not a, it's like, oh, wow. So they clean it, yeah. They clean it. There's a, like, if you go to a rest stop or whatever, like at the gas station, there's like, it's not like here's the key on a hubcap and you go back in and there's puke and shit all over the walls it's like it's

disgusting like people shit up somehow yeah you're like what the fuck yeah were you going to hand stand or something just go ready yeah spray i know it's fucking crazy um i just i was just in one fucking two days ago and just like in portland i was like this is fucking horrible in the woods um but so they're fantastic and the big thing is the walls come all the way to the floor you're in your own little fucking yeah what's the half the shoe it's dumb what what are we saving material wise money it's easier to install that i i presume yes it's fucking dude it's like listen i know if you're out at a restaurant or a bar and you're shitting it's not ideal but it happened you get fucking hemmed up it happened especially

they're single use like they're single occupants or like you walk in and there's like two like closets that like with a door separate whole door yeah that goes like it's like a wall to the ground you're in an enclosed room it's the best that's being clean regularly it's it like, it's like a wall to the ground. You're in an enclosed room. It's the best. That's being clean. It's shitting, dude. Regularly. It's an alone moment. You feel rich. I'm like, I feel like a rich person that I'm not like, you know, like hovering over some fucking dirty ass toilet seat.

You're like, oh, I get to sit here in peace and shit. Especially if you're traveling, dude. It's like the time's different. There's a seven hour to six hour time difference. Then you're eating all these different. It's like the time's different. There's a six-hour time difference. Then you're eating all these different foods that your stomach's not used to. It's like you can get hemmed up pretty quick where you have to shit in public. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah. And new food, too. If I leave the house in New York, it's like I'm probably not going to shit until I get home. A lot of sauerkraut and shit? Yeah, a lot of sauerkraut. That seems not bad. It's also just the way they cook shit. Any country is Sauerkraut and shit? Yeah, a lot of sauerkraut. That seems shitty. That seems like, not bad. I mean, like, shit-inducing. Yeah, it's also just like the way they cook shit. You know, any country is, obviously, cooks differently than I do at home, you know?

So it's like, but you get to have the privacy of like, oh, I feel safe. I can go in here and shit like a human being. You can make some noise if it happens. Yes. And not have to worry about squeaking out of fucking poop. Like a human being. You can make some noise if it happens. Yes. And not have to worry about squeaking out a fucking poop.

Dude, one time I was in there and we were remote somewhere, like somewhere more rural. And we went into a place and the English wasn't great. And I was actually fighting with my girl at the time over something fucking stupid. That sounds like a regular. Yeah, it sounds like a relationship. And they fucking. I'm like, oh, so I go to the bathroom and I can't figure out how to flush this toilet because the plumbing is a little different. Like, you know what I mean?

I couldn't figure out. That's so funny. Yeah, that's one of those differences. I'm like, where the fuck is the. Yeah, so go ahead. I'm sitting there and I'm looking and I'm like, I don't fucking know where this dude I'm looking on the side the top the bottom everything and i can't fucking find it and there's this red string and i'm like that does not seem like it's i've never flushed a toilet like this it seems like there's something bad on the other end of this string so i'm like don't fucking touch the string man i think i'm

at a shit so like i have to like if peed, I would be like, fuck it. I'll just, you know, I'll leave it in there. I can't figure it out. Yeah. But I'm like, I got to. I don't know. You can't. I can't leave a shit.

And we were like a restaurant. I'm not doing that. So I'm like, fuck, man. I know this is not how to flush the toilet. I fucking know. This is what I can't find. I genuinely can't. So I just go, all right, man.

And I pull it. And it's just. No. Oh, man. And I pull it. And it's just. No. Oh, no. Dude, throughout the whole fucking. No. Throughout the whole restaurant. It's for, like, somebody who falls.

Like, if, like, a handicapped person falls or an old person falls. So now they're banging on the fucking door thinking someone's, like, it's, like, fucking code red. Oh, no. Meanwhile, I got, like, the nastiest fucking deuce in the toilet. Oh. And it's. I can't turn it off because it's just like 11. You're like, I don't have my phone. I need a picture of this. Oh, dude, it was fucking horrible.

And they're banging on the door. So I got to open it. They're like, what's going on? I'm like, I don't know how to flush. And like, English wasn't great. And I'm like, it fucking sucked, dude. And I was just like, that's like one of those times where I'm like, I fucking hate travel. Like, get me back to America with a toilet I can fucking flush. And I'm, you times where I'm like, I fucking hate travel. Get me back to America

with a toilet I can fucking flush. You know what I mean? What was it? How did you flush the toilet? I think he just I forget. I don't know. At that point, I'm like, I don't even fucking care. I've ruined 35 people dinner. That's another one of those things where it's like, I fucking hate that. I just want to be home. But it is fun experience looking

back. Oh, yeah. Instead of in the moment, it does suck when you just can't figure something out. But those trying to figure it out is what makes travel fun. Yeah. How do I get this bus to this town? 100%. Just those little things. Figuring it out is a fun thing.

I remember one time fucking losing. I was there for two weeks or something. It was day 11. Yeah. And the food's just different. The fucking beer. Everything's just. And the cigarettes be like everything's just and the cigarettes the cigarettes are just like looser or something they're not like marble lights aren't

more the same marble lights there's like a different whatever i don't know what the fuck it is but it's a different i don't know it's different tobacco or different you know uh they just don't hit this and i'm like everything was like i was just in a bad mood and i was like i remember i'm like your fucking cigarette sock too. And like I threw them all day. It's just like builds. And then, but it's also given me like that experience of like, I now use that moment of me like wigging out about like cigarettes being different.

Yeah. To be like, how the fuck does my, like it's made me grow as a person. Like how the fuck does my wife feel living in another country completely? I'm like, if I was you, I'd be punching the fucking wall every day. Nothing is like how I am used to it. Right. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like it showed me like. Like every moment's a fucking overcome. Yeah, every moment's like, this is not what I'm used to. Everything tastes a little different. Everything you're used to is just like a bit all because all the brands it's like different quality levels of stuff that you're getting like you know what i mean due to any restrictions or fucking whatever we're just manufacturing so like do pizzas everything's just genuinely different and i'm like oh that's a fucking lot to take in to move to another country

like that it's also like just even little things don't matter. It keeps you off balance. That's what it is. It's the off balance. The cabs are a different color. The sirens. Wee, wee, wee. It's just like everything is different.

The fonts on signs are not the same. You're just a little askew. You can't just get used to stuff. Yes, yes. You know Obey Giant? No. It's like a picture of Andre the Giant. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know that one. It's a shepherd fairy. Yes. Farley. Farley Obey Giant? No. It's like a picture of Andre the Giant. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know that one. It's Shepard Fairey. Yes. Farley. Fairley. Fairley? Fairley. Shepard Fairey.

Fairey? F-A-I-R-E-Y. I think there's an L in there. I could be wrong. Whatever. I'm positive you're wrong. Whatever, Ari. Edit this out.

Who knows who's right? But he said one of the theories behind why he's doing it is that he puts it up so you stencil it and he gives the fans a stencil too oh by the way

you be tripping stickers available at ryschavir.com get a three pack and put them somewhere fucking crazy if you're going to Frankfurt if you're going to

the western wall maybe don't do that but like stick them up take a picture geotag it of where it is he goes so there's a opiate giant thing on a warehouse wall through that. But like, stick him up, take a picture, geotag it of where it is.

He goes, so there's an Obey Giant thing on a warehouse wall that you pass every day at work. You're like, what's that? You're supposed to go, what's that Shepard Fairey thing? And then you go,

what's this warehouse? By the way, I pass this every day. And I never looked at it. What is this place? And it's just supposed to make you think about your surroundings. Traveling also,

it does the same thing. We're like, oh, they do pizza different here. I wonder where this comes from from it just makes you always be you're you're out of your you get comfortable here instead of like off balance is like a nice way to be well it's also yeah you're not using your brain like i like not using your brain i left the house today to come here i got in my car i drove down i parked in a neighborhood i know i

you know it's like it's all similar shit Yeah. Like you're not there's no discovery. But when you do hear we we we it's like you notice the trailer instead of here. You just tune it out. Yeah. You tune it out, but you're not picturing like what is what? Like, yeah. It's also like it makes me think of like, why do I like what I if I'm like having something and it's like, oh, like this, whatever is different.

And I'm like, yeah, but it's not. I go, it's not what I like. And I go, it's bad. I go, it's not bad. It could just be. It's not, it's just different. It's just different. And maybe I do like it this way now.

You know what I mean? Or whatever. It's that kind of thing. That's why. It is fun. I try to travel more. And it sucks. We travel on the road a lot now in the US.

But I don't get to experience anything because we're just in and out of the city. It sucks. You ever get a kid or just a wife? No, just a wife. Stay an extra day. I know, but I know we're working on it, but I'm going to Germany in like a week. Oh, really? Three weeks, sorry. Wow. Yeah.

For another wedding. Hell yeah. That's great. Well, Ryan. Kevin. You don't go by Ryan. No, you can't go by your last name if it's a first name. Yeah, yeah. Kevin, you're a fair. Thank you very much.

Thank you, buddy. Guys, don't forget, check out Are You Garbage on YouTube, on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, on everywhere. I've been on there three-ish times. I think four, maybe. Maybe four. I'll be on again. Coming on again very soon.

Yeah, it was great, dude. Awesome, man. Now you know a little more about Frankfurt, everybody. Yeah. Check it out. Well, that's the episode, maybe. Maybe four. I'll be on again. Coming on again very soon. Yeah, it was great, dude. Awesome, man. Now you know a little more about Frankfurt, everybody. Yeah, check it out. Well, that's the episode, everybody. Tune in next week for probably my favorite one I've ever done. It's with Joe Liss, my old pal Joe Liss, about his epic hiking trip to Machu Picchu.

I wanted to show you guys this really to start with, but I figured I'd get it going a little bit. And now you're ready for it. We've gotten so many subscribers to the YouTube channel at YouBeTrippinPod on YouTube. Please click on there. All the stuff will be there.

And wherever you're listening, YouBeTrippin, YouBeTrippinPod on Instagram. But man, you're going to want to, you're going to want to watch that Joe List one. God, it was a good one. Made me really want to go. Thank you very much for Kevin Ryan for coming

don't forget to check out his debut half hour special live in Philly, available at the RU Garbage website right now, and don't forget to go see my special taping in Washington D.C. April 26th and 27th at the Capitol Turnaround, tickets are available at rushafir.com, as well as

Toronto, Austin on 420. Vermont. Huntington. Lexington. I don't know. Detroit. Grand Rapids.

All over Australia in May. Wrapping up my entire tour. June 1st in Sydney, Australia. And then I'm done till 2026. No, 2025. That's it, you guys. Please subscribe. And how do you say goodbye in German?

That's how I'll say it. But also, keep writing in on the comments and at the UB Trip and Pod Instagram account about people you think. You sent a few good suggestions in there that I gotta get. Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen.

That's it. Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen, everybody. Till next week.