You Be Trippin' - Hawaii w/ Duncan Trussell | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

Follow Duncan Trussell on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell/ The End is here! Ari's new storytelling show is $5.99 per episode at https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ There's a total of 7 episodes for you to enjoy! Check out Joe DeRosa's new podcast Vile and Horrendous Pull up a chair and listen to what Joe does best: piss and moan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWvLI8xCAa0 SPONSORS: - Take Cheers Restore after your last drink or before going to bed and wake up feeling at least 50% better — or your money back. For a limited time our listeners are getting 20% off their entire order at https://cheershealth.com/TRIPPIN . #Cheers #ad - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com/trippin - Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @‌MUDWTR with code TRIPPIN at https://mudwtr.com/TRIPPIN ! #mudwtrpod On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Duncan Trussell tells Ari Shaffir about his experience at a spiritual retreat in Hawaii. Duncan first tells the story of how his spiritual mentor, Ram Dass, became Ram Dass. Spoiler alert, it's a pretty trippy tale. Some pretty crazy clairvoyant type stuff happens along the way. Ari and Duncan then exchange their experiences of how meditating makes them want to get freaky. A hui hou! You Be Trippin' Ep. 116 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:43 - Twitter & Elon 00:16:56 - Dead Mom 00:26:34 - Duncan Goes to Hawaii 00:33:18 - Ram Dass 00:41:27 - Trippy Old Indian Man 00:53:31 - Crazy Synchronicity 01:06:00 - Spiritual Retreats 01:24:08 - Meditating Makes You Horny 01:47:28 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's Ari Shafir. Before I start today's episode with Duncan Truss, I want to tell you about my new storytelling stand-up show called The End. It is the end of what you might know is Ari's renamed storytelling show. Before that, it was called This Is Not Happening. Before that, it was called Ari's Storytelling Show. I brought it back. And it's available right now at ryehshafir.com.

You can get a single one-hour-long episode for $5.99. Or if you buy five, you can get two for free. This is, when I told Duncan what I was trying to do, he said, oh, nice, the new model, he called it, the new model. The new model is this, if you don't know. It is direct to consumers, which doesn't mean anything other than we, the performer, the creator, are bringing it straight to you. This isn't some, I get it. There's a ton of YouTube specials out there, and there's a ton of Netflix specials out there.

But this is higher level, and I'm not in the industry that way. And honestly, I had that show on a network before, and they betrayed me, and they stole it, so I couldn't do that. So the deal is, I'm going to bring you the highest level stand-up you've ever seen. It's shot so beautifully. The sound is crisp and clear. I spent kind of all my money on it. And what I couldn't afford, Tom Segura came in and gave me the rest. On a loan, I give it back.

But once he's recouped, he's fine, he's out. We're also paying the comedians for the first time any stand-up show. They are part of the profits. So if you buy it, I would say buy the entire season. You're supporting not just me and my endeavor to make great, creative, high, high level stand-up comedy, you're all supporting the comics. You're putting money in Duncan Trussell's pocket

if you buy the show. And it's not just a donation. You're getting something amazing for it. And I know, it's tough. Not everybody can afford, you know, $30 for anything. It's not for you. But for those people who have money for entertainment, this is less than the price of any stand-up show

for any comic you'll see on the lineup. It's honestly, the price of a movie right now is $25. for any new movie on, you know, prime or anything that you pay for. And this is that, and you're getting four movies worth of time with comedians like Nate Bargazzi, Duncan Trussell, Shane Gillis, Tony Hinchcliffe, Tom Segoor, Joe List, Robert Kelly, Sam Talent, Roy Wood Jr., the greats of my old storytelling show, Miss Pat, Ali Sadiek, Big J. O'Cerson, and many, many more.

It doesn't stop. It's one hour of high-level stand-up comedy at the end of my storytelling show called The End. Everybody gets the prologue for free, unless you buy episode two only, and that is a clean episode, and you can't see the prolog. That's it. You can get it at r.eshafi.com, and please, guys, if you've ever wanted to support me in my endeavor to be an outsider and make crazy shit, then this is the time. Put a little in and then enjoy it. Watch it with your friends. It's great, and the response has been out of this world so far, and I love every one of you.

Everybody who said they saw it and loved it, God damn, it makes me feel good. So that's it. Let's start the episode right now. Dr. Trousel, let's go to Hawaii guys. Arieshaferr.com. Support me and my craziness. Let's start the episode. Excellent.

I mean, clear that was better. Yeah. It was just as good as the first one. It was so that we can tell the first one was bad because of the improvement. Man, you got to treat the people who work with you better. This is a community. Work will set them free. What?

Work will set them free. Where have I heard that before? Where have I heard that before? What? My wife. My wife has that tattooed. There's a fucking rebellion here. They're trying to take over.

Are they really? Yeah. I support the workers. Do you know the word supplant? Yeah. They're trying to supplant Christina. Well, look, man, I've heard about how they get treated around here. Yeah.

They took Christina's car and they drove them, she drove like through a bunch of red light. Really? Yeah, through reds over and over and over again. Got her like $6,000 and tickets. What about Where you've been and where you're going This is our race travel show Yeah

We're going to talk about travel today It's you Yeah Welcome to you be tripping everybody It's a travel podcast You've seen it before I go to a different place every week With somebody who's been there

It's the only podcast That believes that R&B has no place In the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Keep them separate but equal Make your own country clubs so to speak. And that's what you'd be tripping stands for. It's not rock and roll.

It's something else. There should be a hip hop hall of fame. Also, Dolly Parton, your country. She shouldn't be in their own. Country clubs are dumb. Aren't they dumb? What do you mean? Like a place to go to play golf and play tennis separately from everybody?

Country clubs, airport lounges, oases of dipshits. Like, you know what I mean? And it's not that it's, and I don't know if OECD, Oasis is the plural of Oasis, but I like that shit. But you, when, when we were living in Asheville. Yeah. You joined one? We were in a neighborhood right by a golf course and they had a pool.

And it was cheap. This is Asheville. So this is not like the country club here. You got to put down like half a million dollars. It's crazy. But it didn't matter that this is a cheap country club. Like this is just a shitty pool. The food kind of sucked.

It didn't matter. But the. clustering of people because they were at a country club had an air about them of being oh you shouldn't be proud they were proud to be separate and we were newcomers to this place yeah i didn't even play fucking golf and you know just the looks you would get of kind of like do you belong here that's why i feel whenever i'm when rogan flies me first class i see people looking at me like you're not you shouldn't be up That's all they're doing is thinking you're looking at them like that. Nobody feels like they belong in first class.

A couple people do. I was standing in line. Tom feels like he's getting something bad happened to him when he's in first class. Somebody, yeah, that's where it gets really funny. People who get in first class, they think it's coach. First class is a nightmare. I was in line at the airport in this, you know, they announced the medallions or whatever. And there's one medallion you hear about, but not.

No one ever comes up. Purple heart. It's like a purple heart. It's that level. I was out of my meal choice once, so you get a purple heart medallium. They did a silent moment of gratitude for like the triple ivory's or whatever. And this dude was one of these triple ivories or whatever. I don't remember what it's called a sterling ruby.

And I said, oh, you're a sterling ruby. Is that really hard to get? And he goes, yeah. What a fucking dick. Chad. What a fucking chud. I like that I was even asking. What a fucking dork.

Yeah. And where are we going today? What do we want to talk about? Look, man. You've been to one place in the world ever. I've been to a bunch of places, but nothing that exciting happened to me. I've been to some places. I thought we could talk about the time I went to Eastern Europe with some friends.

And some of them got kidnapped by these sex traffic. and tortured in our, like, we were staying at a hostel and they all got fucked up by these rich people. Oh. But I thought we could talk about Hawaii. Okay. That's cool. It's so great. It's like the wrong choice.

But, you know, whatever. It's, you know, pretty basic. So, let's Hawaii. You're not going to talk about Hawaii? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if that really counts. I think because it's not really supposed to be America.

No, that's true. It's like fear. Yeah, it definitely is funny that you're there and like, oh, this is America. And there are people who don't know that it's America. There was some somebody, like some aggrieved leftist made some post about how they were going to leave the country to Hawaii. Because of colonialism and the bombs of America. You hit me on every level. It's the craziest country to go to to protest America.

Yeah, that's funny. But she didn't know it was America. Oh, really? No, she thought she was going to another country. She didn't know Hawaii was America. So she was like making a big deal about leaving the country, which is on part of my other favorite leaving thing, which is when people leave Twitter. It is my favorite.

Those tweets are the funniest fucking tweets. Can you call some of those up? It's so funny to make the big announcement. Guys, I'm out of here. I need everyone to know that I'm better than you in someone. way. I can't tolerate it here. I can't tolerate it. And I'm going to take to this place to let you know that this place is negative. I mean, it's the same kind of announcement. Like, if something happened, maybe I had a nervous breakdown and I realized, I think I'm going to

become a monk. It's the kind of announcement I would give my family. Like, guys, I'm going to a monastery. You won't see me for 20 years. I know I'm your father, but a greater calling. There's a greater calling. You're saying that guy should just this just Irish goodbye the family. I'm saying if you're leaving fucking Twitter just go don't act like anyone gives the shit the the the the posts act like there's going to be a day of morning they act like Elon like someone's going to immediately a phone or ring on Musk's desk and he's like what? Oh God oh God no no you want Here's something funny, but Elon Musk. My friend works at the forest department.

Forestry service. Forestry service. They get emails from him all the time. What have you done to help further America today? What have you done to protect your job? And then there's all this stuff where any biodiversity, mention of biodiversity, comes up with a flag of diversity, and it gets bounced back. Oh, my God.

Because they're so strong against diversity. They're like, we can't have that. So they have to rephrase all their stuff? You know what's crazy about, like, one of the, one of the things, I have several things that I have a great deal of respect for Elon Musk. He's like one of the top rated Diablo players. He's a gamer. Mm-hmm. Good sound systems in those Teslas.

And he's, he is on ketamine and lets everybody know. Cool. Good dancer. So good day. Great dancer. God. It's so smooth. But, you know, having been addicted to ketamine for several years, I recognize a lot of, like,

for example, one of the rules if you decide to get addicted to ketamine that you have to establish for yourself is you must not tweet because on ketamine, it's something about it. I talked to Hamilton Morris about this. There is a bizarre kind of egomania that happens with ketamine where, you know, it's sort of like... Not coke, just ketamine? Well, it's kind of like, you know, they say opposite stand back to back. I think they're overlappers.

Well, they both are white powders. They're both great at a bar for a little toots-toots. They're both great at a bar, but with cocaine, you could keep doing rails or key bumps of cocaine and you're going to get like, you know, it wakes you up. It's a little reset. With ketamine, you go over the one bump too many and you're gone. Like you're going to, you're going to go into a completely. alternate dimension, you're going to merge with reality, and you don't want that to happen in public. So you always, as a ketamine user, you become familiar with what it feels like when

you're about to go into the K-hole. And you learn how to sort of get to the bleeding edge of that space and sort of enjoy that place or how to throw yourself over. But it's interesting contextually to look at everything he does from the lens of that dude. That dude, is blasted on cadamine. That's interesting. Wants to go to Mars. You know what I mean? These are things.

These are things. On ketamine. These are things are like, yeah. Named his child a bunch of symbols. Dude, but on catam, you're like, it makes sense. Like you're like from your perspective, all of these things. And so from an artistic perspective, I think it's a real, a great creativity. enhancer.

Yeah. But from a trying to do anything mechanical, technical, send a text, send a tweet, anything that involves any kind of just like basic. I don't know which side of the brain is in charge of math, but that side of the brain takes a vacation when you're on ketamine. Yes. So it's curious to watch what he's doing because, and it's also, I love that he's just saying, yeah, I'm on catamine all the fucking time.

And then a biodiversity, something getting flagged for biodiversity, from that perspective makes sense. It makes sense. He, and, you know, and I'm guessing, like, that if he's on ketamine, you got to wonder. What? So if I'm sitting there. Can you guys get us some ketamine, by the way? No. You bring in some?

I don't do it anymore. I don't. For real. I know. I know that look. I swear. I stopped. I stopped.

When? about it the last time i did it was um when i was in san francisco and uh it was the coolest thing happened ever which is i'm just like i i stayed an extra day uh just to walk around san francisco was the night before my extra day and i don't know how happened but these like british this old these like older british dudes are like you like drum and bass I swear to God. You like drum and bass music? And I'm like, yeah?

And they're like, you come with us. And like, I got in the car with them. I know you shouldn't do that. They took me to an underground drum and bass rave. It was insane. Like real fucking drumming just like, way, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're just like vibrating. Then I got in a, I got in a conversation.

What? with this like just strikingly beautiful gay dude and like we're just talking and he's like you want some catamine? I'm like yeah and so then that was the last time I did it and it was of course incredible because it was perfect and you couldn't top it what because you couldn't top the experience it was no no just because um you know what sounds great dude when you have kids yeah you can't be on fucking ketamine why do blasting rails of ketamine and my in my studio. Wait, when was this San Francisco thing? This was, I wasn't around any kids. I was on the road. Oh. You're a volunteer fireman. You don't want, you don't want your firemen on

catamine. You don't, when you have kids, anything can happen. Yeah, don't do it around the kids. Dude, well, I'm always around kids. Oh. I just, and also, just wouldn't feel right. Just, just, just, doing any kind of rails of anything when you got kids, it's feel like a no, you got to, but you got to, but you got to, but give them rails of ketamine, but give them something that is like, you know, baby powder or something. Ari, you'd be a great dad. Yeah. That's good dad advice.

Like you want to... Just give your kids baby powder to snort while you do ketamine. Yeah. So they feel like they're belonging. Come on in, guys. Your daddy's about to disassociate. Why don't you snort some carcinogenic baby powder? Guys, where's that ketamine already?

Let's do rails of coke and ketamine and just guess. Pick a line. I could tell a me. Pick a line. Just looking at it or as soon as it's in your nose. probably if I had a bet I think looking at it but I don't know about that for sure I dated a chick here once and you could put a pill in her hand from behind her back she'd tell you what it was and how much the dosage was wow that is so cool and it's so interesting how people like that are just right next door to being like

incredible pharmacists like that that's an amazing like you a lot of these depraved life activities it's almost like your karma was to be a pharmacist yeah it's like a I think a choose for an adventure book. Like, do you want to be a junkie or a pharmacist? And you can, you do one or the, actually, I'm pretty sure a lot of pharmacists are junkies. How could you not make a little extra, your own little, let's talk about travel today.

Oh, yeah. Why do you go, when, so you went to Hawaii for what, for that, those conferences? I know that's not the name of it. Like, um, so. You went before I did. You were going always. Yeah. I, I, I don't remember.

the first year that I went to these things. It was the, right after my mom died. Okay. And I'd already, like... Sorry again about that. It's not enough to say you're sorry. It's my mom. I can't bring her back.

It's all you're going to say? Yeah. You're sorry? So what does that do for me? My actions... Does it bring my mom back? You're right. What are you doing shuffling?

Come on. Come on. Oh. $20? Yeah. So that's what my mom was worth to you? At this point, it's been years. So you're saying she depreciated in value?

Yeah, right then, it would have been hundreds. The tariffs are fucked up. Thank you. You're welcome. Apology accepted. Hi guys, Ari Javier here. Breaking into today's episode. Let's you know a little bit about the guest, Duncan Trausel.

First and foremost, he's on a new stand-up storytelling show called The End. His story is out of this world. He tells a story about taking his... children to a Taylor Swift concert film, and it's nuts. He's an episode called Not All Heroes Wear Caps, where I am also in it, and Mark Norman is a headliner of that episode. It's great. It's a great one. It's actually my favorite story that I've done on the show this season.

I did three, two real ones, and an Easter egg. They're all real, but an Easter egg one that you'll find. Well, if you don't know, I don't want to run the surprise, but there's another one. Please get it right now at rachir.com. You can get this episode, Duncan's on for $5.99. That's really nothing for an hour of stand-up comedy. Highest level stand-up comedy there is.

There's also an Easter egg in this episode. Please leave in the comments. If you like that Easter egg, if you've seen it, leaving the comments about it, Duncan is the most creative man I've ever met in Hollywood. He's the most creative man. No one really comes close. It's not really a, it's not really even a discussion.

Duncan. And I was like, I think I found his number. I was often like, I don't think it was Urba. I think it might have been Chile or Argentina. And I said, Duncan, would you be willing to do this thing that you're going to see? And he goes, oh, yeah, that sounds awesome. You can't really do that when a network gets involved. They go, no, no, I'll make it standard. Me and Tony Hinchcliffe were talking about this. How he, at the end of every one of his specials now, he thanks everyone, and he puts in a very specific, except Ari Shafir, not Ari Shafir.

Networks won't let you do stuff like that. He's got to have the power, and I do too. And the reason I have the power is because you guys have supported it. And I thank you all for watching it. Everyone who's watched it so far, God, you've made me so happy.

The ones you have left comments. I know, some of you're surprised. You're like, oh, I didn't realize this was like a better show than anything that's ever been put on Netflix. Yeah, this is some Kevin Hart, thumb-fuck thing where he's like, let's just get some money.

No, no. This is me realizing my dream. If you want to be part of that dream, go rjafir.com right now, and a minimum, buy the Duncan Charlott's episode, and at maximum, get seven for the price of five. That's by five, get two free. It's almost 20% off. Is that right? Yeah, that's a bonus of 20%. Two extra ones on other five? 40%. $5?40? Yeah, it's 40% more. My math might be wrong. So, support it. Let's do what Duncan and Shostle calls, the new month. model. And let's make comedy without any sort of rules and regulations that networks will give you. It's real. Duncan's on the road. You can find all those tour dates at duncantrustle.com. May 1st will be at Philadelphia in Helium Comedy Club. Then Cleveland, Ohio, hilarities. They're both great clubs he's performing at. Then May 15th, the La Jolla Comedy Store, oh, three for three for Duncan that weekend. And then in June, Charlotte, North Carolina,

Asheville, North Carolina, the orange peel. Get a Duncan, get a pen there. It says I stole this from the green room. Then the Wilbur in Boston, who, woo. Austin, Texas and the mothership, he's headlining a weekend. Probably already sold out.

Albuquerque, New Mexico, Fort Worth, Texas, Detroit, Michigan, and Brooklyn, New York at the Bell House, November 18th. Go to Duncantrustle.com. For that, you could also listen to his podcast or watch his podcast,

So it's Duncan Trussell Family Hour. I have been on at least two times. And I'll be on in like a couple weeks. So subscribe to that podcast. And subscribe to my podcast, you'll be tripping. It's the only funny travel podcast there is. Actually, Montaondana is a funny one. And actually, Small Brain American,

as a funny one too. All right. Well, for the comedians, it's the only one. I'm also on Legion of Skinks every Monday. Check that out. Lesion of Skinks.com. And that's it. Let's get back to the Hawaii

for this episode. He's so interesting, Duncan. Hi, everybody. One break-in announcement really quickly to tell you. Ari Shafir Jew is on Netflix starting today. That's right.

I know. It seems weird. Wasn't it on YouTube? Well, it was. And Netflix has decided to make Jew the very first special they've ever picked up off YouTube. It's quite an honor.

Yeah. It's a Mazalto for all of us. So go to Netflix right now and watch Jew again or for the first time. When your parents die. And you know it's since you're a kid, you know when you start finding out your parents are going to die. And it's like you start getting this sense of there seems to be some kind of scam happening here because nobody told me this shit. Like you're born with some general sense of immortality. And then depending on the parents you have in the West, they kind of slowly break it to.

you like yeah you don't stay here forever and then you connect the dots you're like but you'll be here forever no no i'm not going to be here forever you're going to watch me die if things go great yeah all right it's good or you're going to bury me or i'm going to bury you kiddo and so you know you you you have to deal with that over a lifetime and you when you're when you go through periods with your parents where you generally don't want to talk to them and they're like, why didn't you call me? And then, but inevitably your parents die. And nothing prepares you for that moment. Nothing can prepare you for becoming an orphan later on in life. But it's like, so you, nothing can prepare you for that. It's the first experience. Well, it's the first,

one, for a lot of people, it's the first, it's a major experience of the reality of, of the reality of existence. And in other words, a lot of people walk around this amazing bubble. Yeah. And in that bubble, they haven't really considered the precarious nature of their own existence. And so they walk around acting like assholes because they don't understand that any second you just keel over.

Like, that just happens. Your heart fucks up, your brain fucks up, or your dearest friends. or your dearest friends keel over it. And you get a call. So when you get this two major confirmations when your parents die, generally your mother's the more intense one, I think. You know, when people are dying, they call out for their moms. They don't call up for their dads.

So anyway, isn't that fucked up? Isn't that fucked up? But it would be weird if somebody was like, Dad! Dead! Gay, gay one. Just die, pussy! But, so it hit me really hard.

Okay. And Ragu Marcus, who runs Ram Dass' foundation, it was so cool because I'm just laying in bed, just so depressed, man, and like, just fucked up. And, you know, he texted. In L.A.? In L.A. In Atwater Village, laying in bed just in this my ass.

Just like, like, just and not even like grief is so weird. Like it's it's the weirdest thing. It's basically you're you've made all these neural. My theory is you made all these neurological connections that connect to mom existing and then there's this vacuum and so they're connected to like this they're essentially like nothing to nothing. And so it throws you grief is crazy and anyway text me and And he's like, just come to this retreat. Don't think about it.

That's what he said. He's like, just don't even think about it. Just go buy a plane ticket and just come to this thing. And I remember getting up all bleary and depressed. You know what it's like to be depressed, you. And you're just like literally like walking through. Like it's like someone poured oil over everything. Things are just sluggish and slow and foggy.

So I get the plane ticket. And yeah, and then I get on a plane and fly to Hawaii to go to a spiritual retreat. And dude, like, you know, in those days, I was really dreading it because I had no idea what this is going to be like. I'm like, I don't want to be around a bunch of fucking hippies. Yeah. I don't really feel like doing this. I'm not quite sure I buy it all the way. I was hyper cynical.

Yeah, what do you think you're walking into? What's a spiritual? At that point, what do you think it's going to be? A bunch of people fucking dancing with elephant pants? to drum and bass Well not drum and bass Or to like whatever that jungle music is No Kirtar

Singing Hari Krishna Basically like so I'd already met Ragu He'd done my podcast So I already like Like knew he was cool He was not like Is he the one

That you're like I have mushrooms for you And he goes oh cool And just took a bunch No Who was that? No But there was there was somebody

You were like I gave you like a week's worth Like a bunch of like And he was like awesome And you're like What are you doing? He goes Just go

Oh I can't say Who that was I don't know if I've permission to say that. Okay. But you remember that? A wonderful, a very, very talented musician. I love his music. But, uh, and it, because I remember like doing the whole speech because I had these penis

envy mushrooms that are the most insane things ever. And I was, I'd already had an insane trip on them. And I told them like, listen, this is not normal mushrooms. They're penis envy mushrooms. These blah, blah. And I think as I'm describing why to be. careful he's like okay yeah just eats it's so many it was it was fine was fine we were in boniru and i got mushrooms for everybody for the all of comedy yeah done it for a couple festivals and

everyone's like so how much should i take you know you've been the shaman yeah for a bunch and then you're like they're like well i don't want to get crazy i don't want to like be lying on the grass without like okay let me take a few off your hand yeah someone else like i want to get very fucked up and i'm trying to like in each person so if they're like why don't want to get too got i'm pulling something back from each person. Yeah. And then Christine Ocerson is just like, you know you were eating everything you pulled back.

It's hilarious. Well, some people really work well with mushrooms and some don't. Like mushrooms are really interesting in that way because they have their own personality. Yeah. They will, like, if you need a life lesson, they don't care that you're a Bonner. Like they will give you the teaching no matter where you're at. And I don't think people understand that. It does what it wants.

It does what it. Sometimes you're like, but I barely even talk. took any it's like it's not a few. I didn't need to take any actually but like yeah that that that's a fascinating thing about them too is it seems regardless of dosage sometimes sometimes you're like I took a ton I'm barely feeling it yeah and the mushroom was just like nah not today yeah no we're not doing a class today but then you take like a cap and they're like you know what I think it's time for me to teach you about emptiness and the interconnected web of nature and yeah and then you're just free

But okay so you show up there or you're going yeah so I so I show up there basically not knowing what to expect but having like a Um Um a real sense of dread about what I had done and and um what you mean what you had done Sign up to go to a retreat and uh because it's like I don't know I'm not I don't want to do you know like there's so many embarrassing things people do at retreats like embarrassing things like um what's it called that awful kind of improv dancing people do together i don't know what it's going to be do you know i'm talking about no so bad it's so bad look up something like there's some kind of improv they're just awful shit or like yoga where they lift you up on your back and they touch you go on somebody's feet acro yoga yeah yeah all that shit you know

all the stuff that loosened up people do and you and it's a nightmare for me so i didn't know was going to be like that. And I, you know, I, but I remember out a day before the retreat and I'm sitting in a hot tub at this place. I think it burnt down called the Banyan Tree Inn. And there are these two women there. This is Maui. There are these two women in the hot tub and these women are into Vodriana Buddhism, shaved heads. They're going to the retreat. And, and, you know, And we start talking and one of them says about their partner, yeah, she's going to become a monk. And it was the weirdest thing for me to hear

because this is the first time I'd really been around people who are seriously, seriously engaging with a lot of this stuff. Right? This, they were going to abandon the relationship and become a monk and none for the rest of their life. And so it was really wild. I remember that moment. And then I remember the first day of there.

She's going to become a monk. Yes. How was the other, how was the partner? She was, they're both Buddhists. So they're both, they're not like faking being happy. So they're just very honest. And the partner says, I don't want her to do it, but there's nothing I can do. This is her calling.

Lesbos. Yeah. That's what they call them out there. That's the Hawaiian word for lesbian. Lesbos. Yeah. I learned that from Lilo and Stitch. But...

Dylan Freewater's by Burke Kreischer. Soft, plush, and round. Just like Burke. And also strapping. Strap's like Bert. He's trapping. And brown. Brown.

Yeah. Brown. like brown like blackface get him get him but get him they're good the birds get him the next day of the retreat um there's romdas and he's in his wheelchair and he's in his wheelchair and you know romdice is the leader of this group yeah romdas is the you know ramdoss is kind of only for you really ramdas wrote so romdas was a harvard and we're going to do a whole podcast talking about the history of who this person is because he's fascinating but basically his name was richard alpert he was pals with tim leary they were both professors at

harvard and they this is this is before lsd become illegal um and psychedelics were illegal and so they were uh psychologists and they were really interested in these drugs because uh they they felt like these drugs, kind of like where we're at right now is, um, is where they, they realized we could be. Like now we're, where there was a sort of dark period when, because of the prohibition, but these Alpert and Leary both realized that these psychedelics seem to have a positive impact on, uh, the human brain. And what we call that neurogenesis now. I don't even know if that's what they called it back then. But they, they realized that, there were so many potential uses for these psychedelics. And so they started doing experiments with LSD,

most famously the Good Friday experiment where they gave, what was this is mushrooms? They gave mushrooms to a bunch of people. I think, I don't know what denomination of the church. It was a church on Good Friday, which is pretty much the grimest part of the Christian holiday. This is after the crucifixion of Jesus. They put a blanket over the cross. It's like they're mourning the crucifixion of Christ. And so they wanted to see if they could induce mystical experiences by giving psilocybin to people on a holy day. Did they tell them? Yeah, they told them. Okay. And they, you know, they did the placebo.

Half of them got mushrooms. Half of them didn't. And they talk about it was very easy to tell right away. You got the placebo and who didn't. I think it was synthetic psilocybin, which is what a lot of them are taking is synthetic psilocybin. Because you could measure it out. Do you know the new, like, experiments we're doing with acid? No.

on the asset itself they're taking out the part that makes you trip i know but you know honestly i is a dad that sounds fucking great because that day you know the day after a very powerful lsd trip how good you feel if that's what they're inducing right incredible that's incredible it's convenient it's very western very modern very capitalist it's like now you can go to work and be productive and i was worried when they did this for weed with like cbd and t hc but it's okay you can find the THC kind. I mean, also not everybody needs to be on two or three hundred micrograms of acid. Exactly.

There's packets out there. Yeah. And that could really cure what? What? Okay, okay. But back to this. So, okay. So that's Ram Dass.

That's, I mean, he so looks so different with a beard than when he was in college. To summarize, they get kicked out of Harvard because, they're taking psychedelics, they're giving psychedelics to the students, they're having the experience, which is they're realizing that there's this role that they're playing in the world, the role of the Square, Harvard, Ivy League psychologists. And, but it appears that that's just a role. That's, and within that role of, you know, I'm this and this is, this is me. And, everything outside of this isn't me. It's a kind of trap. And so it's not just that Harvard is like, get out of here. And it's connected to Andrew Wheel, by the way, the vitamin

dude with the big beard. Like, it's a whole scandal. But regardless, they get kicked out of Harvard. And essentially, Ram Dass goes to India. And he goes to India because he wants to give acid to people who meditate. He wants to give acid to people who have been, practicing various forms of meditation to see if they had a map or an understanding of what this spiritual space was, the LSD created for people. And so it's in all and so he went to India with LSD specially made for him by um oh god what's his name the guy who funded the grateful dead. Oh god, I'm so sad. I can't remember his name. It's really annoying. Steely Dan wrote a song about him. kid Charlemagne but uh he was this famous acid chemist in san francisco he whipped up a special

batch of LSD just for Rommdas and i met his wife at one of these retreats by the way she's awesome and i asked her why is the LSD as good as it supposedly was back then yeah and she goes because people aren't perfectionist anymore she was awesome yeah so Alesley so owesley yeah so owesley i know someone who people aren't perfectionist anymore anymore. They're just like good enough. He was whipping up apparently the most insane acid. They say that when I know someone who rode with him when he was going around giving it to people and he said people would come out of their houses and do a full prostration laying on their stomach bowing them like he was a saint because his acid was that good. So he whips up this batch of insane LSD. He's just Hamilton Morris. Well that's yeah it's a past life of Hamilton Morris. It's like chemists who's like but it's about the fun. Yes. Wow. Mm-hmm. Well, anyway, Alpert, that's Rom Dass's name of the time, ends up.

My short shorts, weirdo. You know, it's true, though. You got to, I don't think there was, it's like you didn't take enough acid to not wear those shorts. I like the other picture cuts it off just at the top of the short. Yeah, it's just, that's a way better picture of him. T-in, oh, tucked in, oh, God damn it, man. Well, look. Anyway, so yeah, sorry.

I'm glad you point. pointed that out though because I wouldn't have noticed it and it's like yeah they got to be suspicious but honestly if that guy was like do you want some acid I'd be like sure yeah jean shorts guy yes I do uh so he ends up meeting this um renunciate out there named bagavand Das and uh renunciate yeah renunciate like this is someone who renunciate out there named bagavand Das and uh renunciate Yeah, renunciate. Like this is someone who renounced. Everything.

Everything. So these people are all over India. There's people who just are like at some point. Yeah, I'm just going to like not do any. I'm not going to do anything except walk around and pray. I'm not going to own anything. I'm not going to live anywhere. It's like, it's like, you know, sados is what they call them.

And they just wander through India. And India is built for this to work. Like people will. give them stuff, but the idea is I'll eat what people give me. I'll have what I have and then I'm just going to meditate. And so Ram Dass starts going around with this guy through India. No shoes, walking through India, shoeless. Now remember, this is an Ivy League professor. He's suddenly following this dude who was from California around barefoot through India. And he tells stories about how he try to impress him, telling these incredible stories about flying in an airplane. He could

Ram Dass near how to fly a plane, flying a plane with Tim Leary. And Baguan Das would say to him, just be here now. That's the past. Don't worry about that anymore. And just he said he would like, he didn't seem to sleep. He said that he would wake up and like they were camping out. He'd wake up and Bhagavadaz would just be meditating. He wouldn't be sleeping. Like really interesting dude. And so, um, but Alper was getting like, sick of India and he was going to leave to go to Japan to study Zen. They had some kind of range rover, a really nice car that went to Alpert's friends and let them borrow. And this hippie, he's been falling around was like, dude, my passport's about to expire. We got to go talk to my

guru. And so that response is exactly Alpert's response. A hundred percent. You go to the fucking embassy. Like what are you talking about? You need to talk to your guru. He got a stamp? He's going to stamp your ship. So that's exactly all he felt. And to make matters worse,

Bhagavandaz wanted to take the range rover up into the mountains to his guru. And Alper was now getting real like fuck this. I don't want to be with this hippie. You're not going to drive the fucking

range rover, but he did. He went up there with this guy and the goddamn range rover. They get up into the mountains. This hippie gets out of the range rover. and goes running up a hill. This is in India? In India.

Goes running up a hill to this old man sitting in a blanket up the hill surrounded by people. And crying. He's weeping running up to this dude up there. And Albert's like, oh my God. And the whole time he's thinking about the Rangerover. He's thinking like they're going to fucking take this shit from me. Are they bandits? What is this bullshit?

And so then, And Bhagavon Das, after a while, comes down and says to Alper, he wants to meet you. And so Alper's like, all right, here we go. And he goes up the hill and there's Neme Kroly Baba. There's what? Can you pull up a picture of him, Neme Kroly Baba? I thought it was like a baguette stand. How do you spell that?

Come on, it's obvious. Nym Kroly Baba. N-E-E-M-K-A-R-O-I. You lost me in the second letter. Neem. I only guess what you give us N, right? And then that... So there's this guy up there in a blanket.

What? Yeah. There's this dude up there in the blanket. And he goes up to him. And the first thing he says to him is, can I have your range rover? What? Really? And so, so...

Um... And what's interesting about that, what he did is when you meet a lot of these people, they will go exactly to your most neurotic point and say it to your face, but you haven't said it to anybody. And it's like it pops a bubble. And because when he says, can I have your range rover? Everyone laughs so hard around him because they're like, he's not going to drive a fucking range rover.

He doesn't need a range rover. He's just fucking with him. And so, Um, Hi, everybody. Today's episode of Hebrew Chippers is brought to you by Cheers. Guys,

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All hell dog piss. Guess what? Violin horrendous, a show where I do, I guess what I do best, which is complaining way too much about shit that's not that important. I think all YouTubers should be jailed. An army of drunken screaming Santa Claus. The devil stick guy was the doctor. Shut the fuck.

Come along for this beautiful, disgusting, vile, and horrendous journey. My new YMH show, subscribe, smash that like button. We're gonna be doing this every other week. This is vile and horrendous. Here you go, I'm giving this to you, but I am Ari Shapir. It's a fucking crazy night we're gonna have here. Shit's about to go down. And we're here to talk, Paul.

This is love. Love story. Media, herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS. I'm desperate. I'll stab you with your motherfucking lover! No! One of the worst things I could happen to. What's your favorite Bible verse? I'm like, I don't know any. I'm Catholic. Did you just shit your pants?

It's not my shit. If you're up there, lady, don't call me. I'm the bad guy in the story. I know that. I'll be a better person tomorrow. At least he's consistent. Finally, something we can agree on. I'll discuss it in hard. It's not the evening I plan, but I'm having a blast.

I'm having a blast. Now it feels, excuse me. And so then he basically, in this, I've heard this from many different people. He, I mean, there's these things, they're called cities. And it's most of the time when you hear someone saying this shit, it's not true. But in this case, I believe it. But basically, he told Alpert exactly what he was doing, like three nights before, not what he was doing, but what he was,

what he was thinking. And because he had this moment when he was taking a piss, and he was thinking about his mom, who had died, and her spleen, something was wrong with her spleen, and he said to him, two nights ago,

you were under the stars thinking about your mother. Now, these are, this is being translated. And then in English, he goes, spleen, spleen, and so Alpert,

he thinks it's the CIA. That's his first thought. Is this some kind of fucking setup? This doesn't work for Western psychology that someone could do that. And so it basically, he says he felt something in his heart rip. Like he felt this weird feeling. He starts crying. And then Alpert becomes associated with Neem Kroly Baba for the rest of his life.

He gets the name Ram Dass. And so the Love Serve Remember Foundation is sort of a group. It's called Love Serve Remember. because yeah because um you know famously um well that was like he wouldn't let people write down what he said he didn't want any of that shit should have been called love serve don't forget so it could be LSD ah well he that's another famous story about it is like he uh he he he was like give me give me your acid name curly Baba did yeah and so he gives him LSD again this is like no joke LSD this is LSD this is LSD that probably make us in deep India deep India he's like give me your acid he's so people were never done

no hadn't reached India yet I mean Alpert was one of the ways it was reaching India this guy takes acid nothing happens Alpert goes back to the United States tell some of his academic friends what happened they're like dude this is an old Indian Swami trick he palm the pills he didn't take it there's no way you're going to take that kind of LSD and not have any effect the next time he went back, Neme Krolybaba said to him, the last time you were here, what did you give me? And he said, you know, LSD, and he goes, did I take it? And he goes, he goes, I don't know. And he goes, give me more. So he puts it in his hand. These are tablets. He chews it up in front of them very slowly. and now I know people who were there when this happened

who saw it happen. Who saw it like... Opens his mouth, sticks his tongue out, coated in blue. And Alpert, because he was pretty sure he's palming it, gave him way more than gave him last time.

And so Albert is like, I just killed an old man. Like, I just killed an old man. I just killed this sweet old man out in the middle of India. I am fucked. I am fucked. Like, that guy took more LSD than I've ever seen him when he eat.

Like I am fucked because it's like he's thinking like as most of us would think right like it would be it would be like if your If your kids got into thought like you're like oh my god and so he some a little time passes and he goes under his blanket and he starts shaking He starts shaking raving Ohpher and I know people who saw this they said Ram Dass his face the look of horror on his face no idea what to do do and then he comes out of the blanket and just laughs and then the rest of the day totally normal what yeah dude yeah what how do you not react to acid well because people like that they um you know if you think about what lSD does it's melting your identity you know so people like that they they're they're they don't quite have the same kind of identity anymore they're kind of one of the words for

people like that is a corpse the universe speaks through. So I'm sure he was some part of him was high as a fucking kite. But they don't identify with that as completely them anymore. The guy who took me for ayahuasca who took me to whatever the village. He was like, I've done a bunch, whatever, but he took his kid once. The kid was like 17 or 19. And he said his kid, nothing really happened to him. He goes, he had nothing to work out.

Wow. So he's just like, man, it was like a feeling a little. There you go. Yeah. How about the people are crying? like yeah there you go and i've seen there are people like that and that that was one of them so anyway i talk too much about his story i know i do that but this retreat so then romdas becomes ramdust so ramdas becomes romdas romdas rome dh goes from ivy league professor to the one of the

one of the main like i guess you could say translators of eastern spirituality into a western vernacular they didn't like it i'm sure not his dad called him rum dumb. That's pretty brutal. That's pretty brutal. You got you there, Rami. Rumdom. Imagine the parents' friends like,

is your son still teaching at Harvard? Like, no. Yeah, no, he got kicked out because of drugs went to India. And then he's literally like having the earliest version of these retreats were on his parents' estates. He comes from wealth. And suddenly this fancy-ass place in I think upstate New York, where is filled with hippies who have read beer now or have heard about Ram Dass and they're going to

find him. So essentially these retreats are a combination of people who are sort of moved by his teachings or by people who were there with him in India. And they're all like super fucking cool because these, it wasn't what I expected at all, which is like crusty like new age people these these people are like people who like smuggled hash in the 60s you know these are like old school hardcore hippies who met this dude and got so like radically transformed by being around somebody like that because people you don't a lot of people like that but when you run into them it isn't like when you run into someone at a rave and

And they're like, I can see your chakras. And you just want to, you just want to go piss. You want to get away from them as fast as you can. Yeah. The story is that it's like you feel like you've been, you've known them forever. You feel like they know everything about you. And they seem to demonstrate a kind of unconditional love that you, most people have never even experienced for you that isn't like, doesn't have any strings attached.

There isn't anything there. And whatever that energy field is, it radically changes people for the better. And so that's what the retreats were. And yeah, yeah, that's what the retreats were. So then you're in Maui in a city or like? This was it. The first one was at this yoga retreat center that wasn't by the ocean, which was bullshit. And they were doing these, they were doing these like tour the spiritual places of Hawaii

bullshit and I was Ram Dass was I don't think Ram Dass went but a lot of the people were the retreats they were like driving them around to cool places cool spots to check out

and um Ragu at one point is I'm like god damn I guess I gotta get in this fucking van and get hauled out till a goddamn waterfall I don't want to do that Ragu is like

you're not going with them you're going to come with me now and he took me to Ram Dass's house and I got to I'm suddenly like in a swimming pool with Ram Dass. He's living in Hawaii?

Yeah, he lived in Hawaii. He lived in Hawaii. This famous Zen Roshi, Roshi Joan Halifax, like a hardcore Zen teacher, Ragu, some other hippies. And the Zen Roshi is carrying Rambdas around because, you know, he had a stroke. He's in a wheelchair. They're laughing. These are old friends. It's like us hanging out. They're all laughing.

They're having so much fun. the energy in that house, man. I can't even tell you what it was like. And at some point, for the first time since my mom died, I felt like I was going to be okay. And right at that moment, Ram Dass looks at me. And he goes, I want to talk to you. He had this funny, fake, fierce thing.

And so then I'm like up in his house. And he like wheels up to me. And dude, I've never experienced anything like this before. Because there's like something in India, they call it Darshang. There's a formal instruction that can happen sometimes. And he goes, what? It's a kind of formal interaction with a spiritual teacher. It's formal, not in the sense you're wearing a suit, but it's different because, you know,

I would hang out with their own thoughts at these retreats or eat with him. It's different. This was like something like those formalities go through? Not formalities. It's just, I don't know to explain it other than it's, it's kind of like a podcast. I guess you could say. In other words, like right now we're having a kind of formal conversation

versus if we were out to eat or something, right? There's a sense of, it's not seriousness, but a sense of like, this is real. Like there's something here. And he just, he goes,

and this is going to sound, that's the funny thing about these moments is what I'm going to say doesn't put it on a fucking cereal box. Like it doesn't seem like a big deal. But he's like, he goes, you're here pointing to his head. And he goes, you need to get here.

And because he had a stroke, you know, he couldn't like talk. Like, he used to be so articulate and funny. And then he's like, we can help you with that. Hey, guys, today's episode of Yuba Trippin is brought to you by Shopify. Guys, whatever you're selling on your website, Shopify's got your back. I've been using them since legitimately before they were a sponsor, long before. They are the best. They handle customer interactions.

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slash tripping. Go to Shopify.com slash tripping. That's Shopify.com slash tripping. Now, let's get back to the episode. And you get back to trying to gain the support of your husband. It's not coming back. Once love is closed, it's closed. Yeah, you want to say maybe we can rekindle the relationship.

And sure, that's how possible sometimes. But a lot of other times, it's off. And neither of you have the courage to move on with your lives. You don't have the courage to say, hey, this is over. We both know it's been over. And if you start the conversation, sure, the other person might go, oh, no, I could work it out. And then later realized, ah, I had a moment out. I had a moment that I could have gotten out and I told her no, I still love her.

Or I told him, no, I still love him. And you should have like, oh, I could look back on that moment and go, now I got stuck in this relationship for 10 more years. I was out. And I was still in my late 30s. I could still rebound. I could still have a life and I didn't do it. And I regret it forever. I regret it forever.

Shopify makes no claims on that. Take the opportunity. I'm Ari Shapir, and Shopify supports everything I do. Find love. Guys, there's nothing more important at work than gossip. It's what keeps the office afloat. You've got to be able to concentrate. You've got to be able to see the signs.

Margaret and Steve, are they boning? Everybody's talking about it and everybody's seen details. Samantha said that she saw Steve leave within five minutes of Margaret the last seven days. Well, let's all go to TGI Fridays today. Get a jalapeno popper and talk about it. I didn't even get the man with those. Friday's. Why? Because I'm out of it. Because I had that coffee crash. That's where mudwater comes in.

We want to be a little focus on the stuff that matters. I'm not talking about work. The American business place is failing. We all know that. No, I'm talking about gossip. Pure American gossip. Are Margaret and Steve banging? It's disgusting from both their points of views. Steve has three kids, two of which she doesn't talk to anymore. And they're all from the same mom. So that's weird. And Margaret, with her natural deodorant, Ew, a lemon on your pits doesn't stop you from smelling, especially if you're not showering. Steve, you can do better. Mark, you can do better.

Everybody's talking about this to Fridays, and I'm not coming because I didn't get to all my work emails, so I'm out of it, and now they're all there, and I'm stuck here talking about mudwaters. Rishi, Lions Made, Cordyceps, every ingredient serves a purpose in mudwater, and none of that afternoon crash that you get with coffee. You ready to make the switch to cleaner energy? head to mudwater.com and grab your starter kit today. Right now, my listener is getting an exclusive deal. 43% off of starter kits, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use the code tripping.

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Let's get back to the episode. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. And like again, man, it sounds like no big deal, but like something else was happening. And I don't know what that was.

But then, you know, like I'm crying. He's like, and I'm like, oh, I wish my mom was here. She loved you. And he goes, she is here. But it was weird because it wasn't like, you know, metaphorically she's here. Like, your mom is everywhere now. It was like, she is here. And then this is where it gets weird.

We end this very quick conversation. We end this quick conversation and he's like, he's like his cat jumps on his left. And he has his twinkle and he goes, she sleeps on my chest at night. And I'm like, cool. All right. It just seemed kind of completely not connected to anything.

You kind of ruin the moment, Rob does. So I go and tell my brother. Yeah. The whole story. Your mom was into Ram Dass? Yeah. Okay. So yeah.

So I go and tell my brother the whole story. And I'm like, and then he said his cat sleeps on his chest. And my brother, there's this long pause, you guys. You don't remember, do you? I'm like, what? He's like, that's what mom used to say all the time, that how she liked that the cat slept on her chest at night. And so it was just a weird synchronicity because he just said my mom was there.

And then he said a thing that she used to say all the time, I didn't even recognize in the moment that my brother told me later. And I think of those things as like time bombs. And these people will plant them sometimes, which is, they don't demonstrate this shit. In fact, it's really, like, frowned upon. To do what? That they can. You're not supposed to freak people out like that.

Like, you don't want to do, like, the dude in the game shows, like, says, ah, your mother's here. And she's telling me this or that. There's a very, like, kind of politeness to some, some of these things that you might encounter around people like this. Time bombs. Yeah, where like. Boms through time.

Later on you realize what they, what they were saying. This is Dune. This is Dune when they said in like all the stuff. And it's like way earlier. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

It'll be paid off in a few generations. Bingo. It's like that. There's a, there's a real like general, um, not prohibition, but there is a like a kind of like,

uh, if you make any of this stuff about like some side effects of it then people just go for the side effects they don't like go they they're they become interested in it because they want to they want to be harry potter or something oh okay so so then so then you just started like i'm in no i threw them down what i was like get my mom's name out of your mouth ronde us why are you fucking saying did you give you acid there don't do you your hippie magic on me, man. I know what this is.

Fine, I'll suck your dick. Fine, I'll suck everyone's dick here. I guess I have to. They're like, nobody wants you to do that. I know you do. Take your pants off of you talk to me. I know. No, um, so no, I wasn't on any drugs.

And again, that's another thing that like, I started going to these things, man, with a real kind of lazy cynicism, like a kind of fashionable cynicism. It's fashionable to be skeptical and cynical about stuff that I'm talking about. And I understand why, because it sounds so ridiculous.

And we've all seen the cult documentaries, and we've all seen the amazing range. Yeah, you got to know it sounds like those things, like those shocker people. It does. And like, so the, it's, yeah. So I, so it's like the, the, the, this was why I, I, I started trying to do everything I could to offend Ragu. Because I, I thought to myself, if I can offend him, if he says that is,

you're over the line, don't say that. Then I know that I cannot be involved. That he's a phony? No, it's like a cult. If there's some kind of prohibition on any kind of freedom. of speech, then that means that it's fucked up. It's like, you got to watch out. If there's like off-limit subjects or if we're not a lot of, like, you know, I remember saying him once, you guys were young then. You met some guy, you're on a bunch of drugs. Isn't this kind of just

nostalgia? Aren't you just kind of like trying to get to your childhood again through this? You're just hanging out with your friends. And now I was really edge lord. And I'm like, here we go. This is it, baby. a dagger in the fucking heart. Like now he got trussled. And he goes, is it a great when you get a line where you're like, oh, right on him like, this is going to hurt you.

Yeah, I got you good now. And I'm, you know, full, full, like comedian hypersensitivity, like fully watching to see what he does. Yeah. And he laughed. He goes,

I don't know, maybe. It was so real and sweet. he wasn't hurt he wasn't offended and um and uh yeah so then i've been going back to those things every year since then this reminds me of uh they they did the ufc interviews with the fighters back forth back so they interviewed one like you're a fighter and then they then they'll interview me but they also what you said about about the fight coming up and then they'll go back to you and say what i said so funny so they had um anderson sylva and this one guy was like i'm gonna

take him to the ground i'm gonna get on top of i'm gonna just gonna beat his face and then they're like hey so well he said he's going to take you down uh get on top of you and like beat your face anderson he one of the greatest vaults he just goes i mean if he does that whole win for sure it was so like solid yeah man do it it was no like what totally ruins the game destroys the game yeah so then you start going a lot every year i go to these things every year every year every year i go yeah and you became like what are you in the leadership there at these points or you just like taking the classes um well they let they like me to do podcasts there so like i i'll like i get to like like interview people um but you know like to me sort

of the problem that started popping up is originally when they were lay me interview people rom-daz thought was funny because i was saying things that you aren't supposed to say like like i I didn't have anything to lose. I'm not trying to be some meditation teacher, anything like that. And he thought it was, I think he just thought it was funny that they were just letting someone, like,

run amok in front of this, like, whole group of people who came to a spiritual retreat. And, but then the more I kept going to these things, I almost started having to fake this cynicism and the skepticism. Like, it's sort of, what happened is it, it softens you up. It's really hard to maintain the defense mechanism stuff and the shielding stuff and all that stuff. If you have tricked yourself into thinking, I believe, you know, I'm only like, fine, you say this happened or whatever,

but I'm going to believe my own experience. But then when you start experiencing what it's like to, be around that kind of like love or that kind of not love in the gooey bullshit way but what it's like to be it's though it's you know it's it's like when you take ecstasy and you know when that feeling of like that moment where you forgive yourself then you forgive everyone around you then you want to you recognize everybody's just wonderful and trying to get through their lives and you have that experience that's really profound you can have that experience that's really profound you can have that experience minus the ecstasy and that's why people have been doing this shit for thousands of years

because there is a possibility for sort of not having to be so goddamn pissed off and grumpy all the time but um right you know and and and so that was a really like that that that over time um though i'm still a fucking asshole over time that that you know you have to be cynical about it that's your stance and then be like actually I kind of love this it's actually kind of like political commentary has that too once they get go to the meetings with them or comedians doing like award shows and then you're like well I've actually met these people yeah for me to like make fun of them or you know like like go to cocktail parties with them think of fat comics uh-huh the ones who've made their whole set about being a fatty yeah you're mean to fat people they're gross lev

who who's lev fur who's lev fur look up love fur and how fat he is. I can't believe you have like in your mind a list of fat people popped up. He's so fat over COVID so everyone came back out of quarantine. What the fuck is Lev fur? This fat piece of shit. He's not even that fat. Look at it.

Look at the one in the middle. I have at the comedy seller. They had to move the word side to side to make room for his belly. That's a fat piece of shit. Now down there is when he wasn't fat and he was a good looking guy and then COVID happened and pizza delivered. Dude. Ugh.

Ooh. That one he's filling up the hole all the way in the left. all the way to the left. Yeah, he's fell up the whole frame. He's so fat. Like, it's disgusting.

How is Lev first stuck in your craw? Like, what did he do to you, man? I don't know. This guy never met him, but you're, you know, you're,

you're, I watched your face. Ew. Yeah. You crumpled when I mentioned. Get this guy, get this fat piece of shit off the screen. It's disgusting.

Get it out of there. What did he fucking do? Ew. What did he do? Eat. All he did was eat For like years Well Anyway what? What were you saying?

So it's like when you think of a fat person Wait, what were you saying? Sorry. That's so fucking, oh, there's so many fats. Red Band Man, dude. H. Foley Sagalos fat. Okay. So the fat thing

When you've invested your identity in being fat And there's lots of different versions of that. D.S. He said he couldn't lose weight. He wouldn't be funny anymore. There you go. Or, you know, let's say you become one of these body positivity influencers. And you build a career on being fat.

So like your whole thing is like you got to be fat. It's okay to be fat. They need to make plane seats bigger. You know, here's the, I follow an account that's like like faties of Disneyland where it's like the best places, what rides you can ride, what rides you can't ride. Scooter lands. And so what happens. when you get crystallized in that form is it's very sad or you know um the stoner comic all they talk about

is weed now they got to be a stoner forever or whatever so when the and when they're like i'm kind of done with this smoking every now what you're going to lose your old fan base like what man come on do that joke about hog legs take your shirt off exactly exactly so it's just a mess And that kind of dawned on me is I realized that I had solidified this kind of hyper cynical sort of, but I'm spiritual, but also. And I, but I realized like I'm not, this isn't so much me anymore. And it's still doing it. It's still there, but it's just kind of like now I'm just like doing old jokes. Now I'm just like stuck in a kind of loop because I want people to think I'm cool.

and in a what the moment that that that bubble got popped and that's what so cool about these retreats is like dude there are these people who come to these fucking things like Owsley's wife like people who look like that the the scientists from back to the future like old school like hippies deep hippies It's not all just spiritual people. It's like people are famous in the psychedelic movement because Ram Dass was sort of the convergence of, you know, New Age spirituality and 60s, the psychedelic culture. So this, you know, a llama who is like, you know, someone who's like friends with a Dalai Lama, someone who's trained in Tibetan Buddhism.

But they're all wearing like Hawaiian shirts. You know what I mean? So you're not, you don't know. And this one of the, he comes up to me, like taps me on the shoulder. He's very polite. He's like, may I make an observation? And I'm like, sure. I'm not thinking this is a fucking llama.

And I... So to you, it's like somebody after a comedy show going, can I do jokes like this? Exactly. Exactly. And also my inflated fucking ego is like, oh, you think I'm funny, right? Here we go.

And he's like, he goes, you know that, that cynical thing you're doing? And he goes, you know, in a few years? that's going to be the same thing as like saying groovy it's not going to age well he's like that's just a fad right now and then he goes i know i know in buddhism it's called wrathfulness but it doesn't look like anger it's like direct direct honest truth you're good at that too it's good it's all it hurts stings in the moment but it liberates you long time long term you get liberated and it and then he's like he's like a you know if you don't really feel like that way anymore and you're acting like that

he's like it can actually kill you he's like it can make you have a heart attack because it puts you in a place you're not yeah yeah exactly and i was like eric griffin said i said that to him once when he was like we were just talking and i went over to his like second chin and i was like what's this he goes what i'm like that's new huh and he goes i just started going to the gym yeah yeah after that he's like I'm done and it's crazy because someone can do that out of avarice what you just did to that sweet rotun comedian and it hurts but if someone does that and the intent isn't to hurt if there's love there and then also if they've sort of practiced some practice that then that can actually be the thing that like really helps you and and more than like listening to

of 100 hours of audio books on meditation. It liberates you. It's not going to age well and it's going to kill you being something you're not. Yeah. Brutal. Brutal. It is. I mean,

you start being like a live a lie. Yeah. And it's like, I got to keep living this lie. It's just not me anymore. You got it. You got it. And that.

Yeah, once your heart's not in it, you're just like. But, you know, the problem is we also, we, if you also grow a group of people around you,

based on your identity at the time. So it's like, dude, that's the other problem is like, if you do start having some kind of change for better or for worse. Yeah. Maybe you are like someone who gets into heroin and you've been hanging out with professional athletes or something. They're gonna be like, you know, I don't know if you should come jogging with us on heroin anymore.

You keep falling down. That's why I was my left Orthodox Judaism. And we're like, we can see my friends. Like, of course we can. And then it was like, there you go. Forget the little minor stuff. Like, which restaurants can we eat at? I eat a lot more than you guys do.

That. It became like, we just don't have anything in common anymore. Or when all my friends start having kids where it's just like, I don't want to look at your fucking baby pictures anymore. Like. What? Wait, what do you mean? You're good about it. Hold on wait.

Stop for one second. Yeah. Can you get up fat babies, please? I send baby pictures to my dearest friends. And though most of the time. I get a card from you a year and it's okay. No, I send it to my dearest friends. They don't.

write me back but I assume it's because they're so astonished by the beauty of my child. Yeah, they're my three children, four children. They're my children. It sucks it there. Sharp-a-old. It sucks. My beautiful loves. That kid looks Hawaiian. I mean. Tongan. Let's keep it real for America. That kid looks Tongan. Beautiful children, beautiful babies. Oh, look at the bottom of tail. He's so cute, actually. They're so cute. Fat babies are so much better than... Oh, the rolls.

Also, black babies. Black under 10 is way cuter than white under 10. Jesus fucking Christ, Ari. Why? I feel like this is a podcast. This is like Jared from Subway's podcast. This is the last podcast Jared from Subway did. Did, did, was there ever people at these retreats that were like, didn't fit in?

It was like, you can't come back. You're just like, you're not doing it right. Dude, that's the really hilarious thing about these people. It's like, you would think that, right? And for sure, it's not like everybody there is all mystical and shit. For sure. I mean, because this kind of stuff draws into it a lot of different types of people. You're going to get people who are grieving.

You're going to get people who are dying. And you're going to get people who think they're Jesus. You're going to get people who want to be the next Ram Dass. You're going to get people who want to be, you know, who think that they are these accomplished, advanced souls and they show up and they're very loud. They're very, it's all about them. You know what I mean? And you would think that there would. Pushback?

I don't think it's, I think the, the reason these are. Ram Dass retreats trick your ass is because it's in Hawaii. It's in a beautiful resort in Hawaii. Then a peely kai. It's fucking beautiful. And like, so you go there kind of thinking it's going to be a vacation. Yeah, right. But it's an actual retreat and a good retreat.

Some party you get zapped, dude. And so like something will come up inevitably, no matter how much you think it won't, no matter what you think, something comes up. And so a lot of people are dealing with that. there you know what I mean and and there has to be a lot of patience got to be a reason they went there instead of just to like the the like the like fuck marriott in right yeah well like why you're going to that if it's not even a yoga retreat where it's like I want to work out but just it's like it's that well because because he wrote all these books and that really did like

change a lot of people's lives and also associated in that community or like a lot of like great like Buddhist teachers like Jack Cornfield, Trudy Goodman, Roshi Joan Halifax. I mean, there's a Christian Adas. It's so weird that they have Americanized names. It just never sat right with me.

They should all have those Ram Dass, blah, blah, blah, like, Names. And when they have like Joan something, you're like, it just is like, it's like Lenox Lewis.

Yeah. David. What? Dude, it's such a bummer. Yeah. I love him so much. But like,

like, you want, you want them. At least Dionysus. Wear a robe. I want something. You know, you want, but, but it really, that's what's very funny. I mean, that's why, you know, I have a different attitude now when I meet people who don't

look like this or that because a lot of these people, they just look, you wouldn't, my meditation teacher, you would never know in a million years if you sat down to talk to him that he was like, worked for years with Chogium Trumpa Rimpasay, was one of the great teachers. of Adryana Buddhism and a real lineage of Buddhism who was like one of the Tokus who was as a kid taken into the monasteries and like taught this stuff you you wouldn't know that and and I think there's a kind of on-purposeness about that too which is because it really that in our culture that doesn't really make that much sense yeah because also like the robes and all that stuff is kind of like a crown it's kind of like for that type of thing it's like

Oh, wow. You're like really this thing. And originally what the robes were, the, the saffron, the orange robes that the Buddhist monks wore. Yeah. Is that's what they buried like. So it's poverty. That's what they buried criminals in. So it's like, look how nothing I am.

Not just look how nothing I am. I'm like a criminal corpse. I can see how I remember just right now. There's one of these guys. I was at a Vapasana retreat in northern Thailand. That's crazy you did that. How long were you in there for? I was trying to go 10 days.

made it five and a half six not bad yeah day every day meditating all day long wow tell met some bad kids and they were like smoking eating orio's and then the one curle was there and i kind of really wanted to like kiss her and it just like maybe hang out with the bad crids well that's an interesting thing about that's ever hang on one of the other bad kids not the one i wanted to kiss but the bad kids that have a poshita retreat oh my god i agree you guys are smoking and wow it's It's crazy how horny you'll get meditating for a long time. So horny. Yeah.

Oh my God. I know. You clear your mind and the thoughts just pouring of revenge or fucking. Yeah. So then you meet this like cool traveler girl and you're like, whoa. You're sitting there meditating, lusting away. And so she was like, well, I'm headed back to Changma. I'm like, I'm coming.

I'm coming. So wait. Did you guys hook up? We kissed once. Yeah. That was it. I was too thirsty. I was like re-virginated.

I hadn't been jerking or doing anything for like months or over a month. Dude, five days of meditating about a potash on retreat is no small feet. So there was this guy there, a richer guy. He was annoying. He annoyed everybody. Yes. He wouldn't sit.

Like I have trouble sitting with my feet behind me because then my foot like goes this way. Yeah. So I have to sand with my legs to the side. Okay. Like that instead of like straight out. So that or do the fucking this one, you know. Yeah. But this guy would just get a chair.

And then he would also like munch on stuff. And you're like, shut up. And he was like, and then he also paid extra for like a private place where it's like and he would come late to things. And just make kind of noises and go. And it was just like. Yeah. And we do the slow walk meditation.

And you're like, oh, I got stuck behind that guy. We all hated him. Yeah. I think now he was sent as a test to us to be. to be able to get full clearance. It's like, well, I need, so there's no birds or no sounds of humans out here. There's birds.

I mean, there's no sounds of a chainsaw. It was so remote that that guy was our test. Dude, okay, listen to this. This is crazy. You mentioned that I'm listening to this Pima Children book. And this is exactly the chapter I'm on. And she's talking about, uh, this idea that some of these teachers have,

that you actually need that they like it. when they start getting triggered like that. Because what's happening in those moments is you're being shown your wall. Here's your wall. This is something, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. And all of these teachings generally revolve around

not turning away from that wall, trying to fix the situation, ignoring the situations, running from the situation, attacking the situation. What happens if instead of focusing on what you view as the root cause of the furor what if we just take the story away and just look at that feeling right that's a guy

who's doing this thing he's starting attention that same thousand of those guys so why do you care no not even that oh what so you are taking remove the guy completely from the picture okay now there's just a feeling now there's just this just taste yes and so how long what happens if you start just being with that feeling because generally Literally when there's a, when there's someone like that around, you want to get away from them, you want to attack them, or you want to try to ignore them. And in Buddhism, these are the three roots of suffering, or those three things. Those are the three things, desire, aversion, aggression.

So you're the one, get the fuck away, you want to attack, you want to change the phenomena around you to fix the situation. And so the idea is what happens if instead of trying to change the phenomena, to fix that feeling, we just start getting a little more familiar with that feeling. What is this feeling? That's a little invisible motor on everyone's life. It like clicks on and gets you into some kind of habit, some cycles, some of us go and play video games. Some of us confront.

Some of us ignore and get depressed. And so what, we don't even know where, doing it we think this is how you should respond to these situations this is about what happens if instead of that you just start exploring examining or allowing that feeling to be noticing it so to get it to the point where you don't you don't have any any baggage on top of that as if you like came in you're like oh yellow chair instead of green chair yeah you're like I don't care I'm just noticing it's a yellow chair yeah yeah it's that's a guy who does this or this is the guy who's angry about a And he oh fuck there's that feeling again and you start not realizing that feeling

seems to basically be the same it seems to have a volume maybe where sometimes it's at a 10 sometimes it is at a 6 you begin to realize that the feeling seems to be the same the things that trigger it have different faces different uh there's different your plane didn't make it you're not going to make your plane you whatever the fuck it thing is but you start beginning to realize that actually the feeling itself is always the same. And so it could be that if you spent time with that feeling and like cultivated the sort of courage it takes to sit in that place and instead of trying to fix it, that in Buddhism it says that that that self-liberates, meaning that it's almost like you take the flavor out of the flavor dispenser. Now the flavor is gone. So

You know what I mean? In other words, because you have confronted the feeling directly, you'll notice that people like that don't quite bother you as much as they used to. And, and so. I got to do it with Lev. Dude, I mean, Lev is your guru. This guy, you need to go out to dinner with him. You need to go.

You know what you need to do with Lev? That was my goo. You need to travel with him. I do. Interesting. Yeah. You need to go on a trip with him. Maybe a food journey somewhere.

Yeah, but buy him two seats. I'm too. Sorry, I think you're great. Ari. I don't know why he's mad at you. Mitzie used to do that with us, I think,

sending us fucking chuds nearby. Because it was like maybe he'll be good, but either way he'll drive these other guys to fucking be bitter and angry and maybe it'll make them better. A hundred percent. And they all have different ways of doing that. They want to rattle your fucking cage.

This is what Pima Chodor was talking about. You get in as, if you manage to curate, a life experience where you're around people. I think comedians, this happens less so, but you're around people. And they just are like, yes, I agree with you. And then somebody, this is as she put it in her book, suddenly somebody says to you, I think that's not real at all what you're saying.

I think what you're saying sucks. And then you're like, what? What? Yeah. How, what about me? My ideas. And then there's two things you can do in that situation. You think about what they're saying.

Is it true or not? If it's true, great. I'll change my opinion. Or if it's not true, oh, they're wrong. Or you do what most people do in this world, it seems like you get on the team of people who all think the same way and kick out all the people who don't think the same way. This is how we get World War III. That's how Pima Chodhren puts it.

So it's like you want those people around you. we get that as comedians you know what I mean because god damn it inevitably some son of a bitch is going to say some shit to you that like stings a little bit it stinks it's not just like

it's not just like you're an ass it's like something like I don't like what you're saying I want a little salt in the soup yeah so do they still have these retreats now not that he's past who runs him it's just the love server member foundation

runs them they have different teachers every every time they're doing a open boon now too they do them They do what? In Boone, North Carolina, they have them too. But yeah, they're just, they're great, man. They're just like.

How long do they last for? Just like three or four days, no big deal. What's the food? Do you get your own? They have a buffet. Is it like a Buddhist shit with no meat? No. Oh, okay.

No, there's meat. Yeah, you could, there's a fucking bar at the Nepali Kai. That's cool. Yeah, there's a Pasaana stuff. It was no, all cabbage pretty much. No, Vapasha, that's hardcore. What you did. is like that's like a marathon you basically just ran a marathon you wake up immediately go to some to

you read something quick then go to meditation then you get a little quick breakfast after the monk's and you can't eat once they can't eat so they can't eat past noon so you quickly eat another one at like 1140 yeah and then you're just done unless you meet a bad girl who's got oreas oh yeah baby i'm i'm very impressed that's an intense five days of of that level of meditation, do you think it changed you at all? Yeah. Yeah, I can't tell you how or why, but like now, but like for sure. It's like you can face these things.

That's what it was where it's like, what am I upset about this? The revenge and the sex were two big ones. Because they're both like, you gotta get back to clearing your head. Yeah. So the sex is gonna come in, then you like, did I ever tell you like how you get rid of it? There was a couple ways where it's like you're thinking about sexual thoughts, you're trying to meditate and you're going heel toe, heel, toe, as you're walking meditation. Yeah.

Heal goes down, toes going down. Now my toes going up. Now my toes going down, whatever. So now all of a sudden you're kind of clearing, shit pops into your head. Sex and whatever. And then like, oh, you're passing a cave. I want to take a bitch in there and just fucking bend her over and like whatever. Yeah.

And then they go, okay, look at that thought, like you said. That's a thought of a human has for sexual Congress, you know. Yeah. It goes, you had that thought before. Now, who is this person you desire? Now, what's going to happen to them in 25 years? They're going to age a little bit. And what's going to happen to him in another 25 years?

They're going to be an old lady. Oh, yeah. In old lady. Now what's going to happen 30 years after that? Well, they're going to be dead. Now I just came. Imagine. Oh, yeah, baby.

Imagine them dead. You're speaking my language. Imagine them in a, helpless. Helpless in a coffin. Helpless in a coffin. And now maggots are like crawling through their eye sockets. Now there's some snacks. He goes, at that point, your boners should be gone.

Once you start thinking of them as it's decrepit, presented. And now get back to heel down, toe down. That sounds like a very monk thing to say. You see, to me, there's just too much math there. Like the, like if I got to fucking go all the way through this asshole's life after I bang him down in a cave to the point of maggots in their fucking coffin and to not be horny anymore, I'll just jerk off. Yeah, jerk off.

But the, but the, what the idea is, is like, yes, that's a technique. Another technique is just when these things emerge, you think thinking and just go back to following your breath. Oh, right. Because that's all it is. It's just your thoughts and emotions. Boo, do. Yeah.

And again, it's a process. It's not like right away you're going to conquer your horny. And it's all these teachers talk about just how fucking horny you get when you're met. Oh, that makes me feel so much better. And also, annoyed you get. The people I hated would pour in. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That was the most. freeing part here's the really interesting takeaway didn't pour in the interesting takeaway is actually when you when you sit what's really happening is you're experiencing what's always there yeah yeah minus the distraction other stuff that's going away yeah that's why people could change so much certain covid where it's like actually i have to be at home now for six straight months what do i want to do yeah i finally want to make that kombucha or i want to like i should like spend more time my mom or i want to cut out this person or whatever. Would it be great every 10 years we do that?

Every 10 years. Get on it, Jews. Every 10 years, you just, that's it. Everything shuts down for a year. It would be great. Do you ever go to Hawaii or Maui without this? Yeah. You do.

Yeah. You enjoy it there? Well, yeah. I mean, like, it's the most beautiful place of all the time. But. you ever go to like out of the you know the moment you go out of the resort like what i think is interesting about all those places is if you go off the resort path you got to go to the grocery store whatever and you see all these people who move there after one vacation and they fucking hate it and you just

see people like melting down because or what are you a spear fisherman do you surf are you a fisherman like you just like drinking and you like walking around four seasons. Wasting away. Now you're living in this small town. You can't get off of it. And boy, you're just stuck.

And I've met people who try to move there thinking that they were ready for that level of calm and relaxation. They go fucking nuts. I knew a guy in my writing class who was, he moved there, kind of retired with his chick with his wife or something like there. Maybe just by himself. And he was playing golf every day and it was paradise, you know.

And he goes, I suddenly woke up one day. I saw a straight line to my death. He was like 60. He goes, I saw a straight 30 year line straight to my death. golf every day hanging out drinking and he lives in tablisi now and he's like i'm that's not going to my life yeah dude like it just none like you at if you're going to live in hawai yeah you better like you have you better have been going to a lot of a posse nor at least some meth too or so methy yeah

you need to surf like there like i like i or be born there and get used to it or know all the secret places yeah you know there's secret place you horny too i mean everything makes you horny dude like so i fucked on the beach in a car on a beach once in there. I fucked on a golf course right there in the, near Black Rock. So let me ask you this. I got caught.

They shine the light. We were trying to pretend. We couldn't like, you're into that public sex? No, it was dark. Because that's like, it was just there.

I was like, I don't know, fuck it. I hate it. Every time I've been, you know, that's a nightmare when you're with, when you're dating and then you realize the girl you're with.

Come fuck me in the dressing room. Yeah. And you're like, dude, I'm not doing that to anybody. Because someone open, like everyone's going to be happy to see you getting fucked no one's gonna like they're gonna see my hairy old ass my scoliosis wrinkly butt weird

squeezing squeezing with every thrust me pumping away like a like a chihuahua no stroke or anything just almost like a seizure and it's going to stick in their head and it's going to hurt their minds i hate exhibitionist sex and people who it's not exhibitionist it's just it is exhibitionist you're hoping no one comes by no you like it the charge Comes. Different thing. It's a different thing. No, it isn't.

It's a different thing. Every perv says that. Every perv has a way to rationalize. So now we know something about you. You want to go to a private place to fuck. I'll go into your trunk. Have you fucked in public more than 10 times? What's in public?

Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. You're basically Jeffrey Dahmer. Like, dude. He was just hungry. So you like banging in public. I like banging. And if that's the place to do it, it's like, all right.

But it just happens. You end up in public a lot. Once I wanted to go into, like, a construction site of a house. And I was like, someone's going to see us. I'm not into getting caught. Sure, right here, right, it's great. At the back of the main room at the comedy store, sure. But in the back, not in the middle of the main room.

You're not a shoplifter because you just, you're not into getting caught for shoplifting. Right. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm liberating this stuff from the rich. Liberating. Anything from Whole Foods. Right. Ari, you're a shoplifter exhibitionist. I steal, but I don't steal going, look, okay, everybody, I'm doing it.

I do it in public, but I don't want anyone to say. I'm going to name some places. You tell me if you fuck there. Okay. Airplane bathroom. No. There was an hot. What?

It's so small. I can barely pin. It's disgusting. I have fucked in an airplane bathroom. No, I'm not going to high five that. You almost did. I don't. You thought about it.

You thought about it. It is the, whoever invented the Mile High Club is the most disgusting asshole on earth. Nothing is more, you shouldn't shit in an airplane bathroom, much less fucking one. It's nasty. There's piss everywhere. Facts. Tiers, diapers. So, uh, okay.

Okay. Um, uh, dressing room. Yes. Of course. Uh, strip club. You have. You at least got a blown job. Oh, you, I know what you're talking about.

Yep. You were just gone broken up. We had a friend who was like, I need to get you over this. Dude, I would love. You want to know the truth about what happened in there? Yeah. You came back all like, hi. Oh, my God.

So this is so embarrassing. I'm going to tell you the truth. Okay. So, yeah, our friend got me a quote, lab dance. Yeah. But I think paid a little more than you would for a lap dance. Take care of them. There was some instruction there.

Yeah. Suddenly, like, and I, this was, I don't remember exactly. It would have been a drought. I hadn't fucked in a long time. Yeah. And so suddenly I'm in this private room at a strip club with, you know, a beautiful stripper, as I recall. Yeah. So like not just out of my league, but like, you know, a million miles.

Like, like, like, you know, like if a got. Like if Aphrodite came in, like, you're, you're the horniest level and Aphrodite appears in your bedroom right before you were going to jerk off. And you're, you're just like, this is a malfunction in the universe. Like this should not be happening. The way matter and anti-matter shouldn't come together. Like this should not be happening. And so I was aware that there was some possibility of her jerking me off or something. And she starts grinding on me.

Yeah. I came in five seconds. That's what happened. It didn't, like. And then would you stay in there? Like, we got to buy time. What are you going to do? Stay in there.

Like, now what? Could have gone to know her. I'm ashamed. I'm humiliated. She's relieved. In your pants? Yes. Oh, wow.

So now I got the sticky and the wet. And the look of joy in her face. I did it. I'm out. I earned money so fast. He's like, I don't have to jerk this asshole off. I just made a ton of money. Oh my God.

Oh, God. This is a great day. She's going to go home and tell her the next morning. Her kid's going to be like, why are you in such a good mood? I didn't have to jerk off this idiot last night. And so yeah, that's what happened. I came almost instantly because I was around you guys. I was embarrassed because like I just like instant.

Like just just came. There is a unique mixture of sexual gratitude and shame that comes with coming in your pants at a strip club. Yeah. A lot of shit. Oh, good. I came. What the fuck's wrong with me? Yeah.

Well, yeah. Because you, I mean, it's obviously. Like in the moment where you come in your pants, something great's happening. Like, you know, you can be assured if you're coming in your pants, like 99% of the time, something incredible is happening in your life. But then the next second, it's the whatever happened is. That's the reality. Oh, what the fuck?

I can't believe I've been in the darkness getting grinded on by a goddess. I'm ashamed, mama. I'm ashamed. The last time I did it was Norman's Bachelor Party and I came out and see all these people that I know Norman and fucking List and Bert and DeRosa. And just like they look at you, just like look down. Right. You just have to go like that.

Yeah. Cover up the wet spot. You're a bad boy. You're a bad boy. You're a bad boy. You're out there fucking in golf courses. You're the one who came in your pants. Yeah, I know.

But I'm a, I did not. I guess it was a public space. What's the most public place you've ever had sex? Oh, God. on top of a fucking water tower. What? I'm in community college. I was dating this girl.

She was super kinky, which I liked. That was the first girl ever put her finger in my butt. And I'd never had to happen before. I couldn't believe it. Like when it happened, I couldn't believe it. I don't think I was new.

I was just like, what the? Amazing. And then, but she was also like you. She was an exhibitionist. Oh yeah. And so she was like, we're driving around and there's a water tower.

I don't know what it was. Maybe not a water. All I know is it made a construction site. Metal. She's like, go. I want you to fuck me doggy style up there. So it's like fucking on top of a tower. Like no way to anyone looking up is like, oh, gross.

Like people banging up there like dogs and it hurt. Like you're on your knees. It's not just metal. It's that kind of the great. so it's like cutting into your legs. And you're trying, you know, in those days, I was trying to act like I'm down, I'm into this. So you're trying to do like some kind of like sexy fucking on a water tower.

But you just feel like, you know, you feel like you're in prison. You feel like you're like on top of a prison tower. That's the most public space. And it was horrible. And yeah, there were a few other places like that too. Like in the dirt in front of my house. It was awful, man. Public fucking is terrible.

I hope that leaves the culture. All right. Let's call this episode. I'm disgusted. Okay. I love it. I love it, man. Well, thanks for having me on.

I hope I didn't ramble too much, man. No, buddy, I love that. That was really interesting. I never knew what those fucking retreats were like. You should come to one. Yeah, I would. I would. I mean, pretty much everyone there is Jewish.

Because it costs money. How much of these costs? Well, there are payment plans. It's 40. $29,000. Come on. Or, honestly, I don't know because they let me come for free. I know that it's not like real cheap.

I mean, it's in a nice resort. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to say that, but I feel like if there's people out there really want to come and you can't afford it. They might be able to hope. Yes. Yeah.

I think they have like ways of doing that. It's like college. I got a piss so bad. But I'll go with you once or I'll just go. Come to the next one. Now it's not the right time for that. Why? Look how bad you have to pee.

Go pee, man. Jesus Christ. Duncan Trussel, everybody. Bye. Well, that's the episode, everybody. Duncan Russell, thank you very much. Guys, check out his tour dates at duncan trussle.com and check out his podcast at Duncan Trussell Family Hour, DTFH, Down to Fuck Hour. I'm surprised he doesn't know that.

Down to Fuck Hoze. Down to Fuck Hoze. It could easily be called a Down to Fuck Hose podcast. Probably a lot left on the table there, Duncan. Should have done a down-to-fuck-ho's podcast. It's on you. He's also in Philadelphia, Cleveland, La Jolla, Detroit, Charlotte, Boston, Massachusetts, the Wilbur, Austin, Texas. That'll be sold out already. Albuquerque, Fort Worth, where I saw Billy Strings at the Dickey Center. He's not the Dickey Center. He's at Hyenas. Detroit, Michigan, and the Brooklyn, New York at the

Bell House in November. Get tickets at Dunkin'Rtle.com. That's it. That's all we have. Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. And don't forget to go get my new storytelling show. It's seven one-hour-long specials, pretty much. It's seven specials. We did a screening at the creek, and it was so fun, having everybody there, actually laughing at them.

It was really fun to see an audience laughing. I'm going to do every screening every time. I get a chance to do anything at the creek. That's it. Get him at all at Ari Shafir.com right now. Go right now. If you're like, oh, maybe I should, maybe I should. Just go get them.

And then when your friends are over, like, what should we watch? Go, oh, I already paid for and downloaded. Arge's New Storytelling Show at the end. It's the best stand-up comedy of the year. No questions asked. I mean, it's not a wrong answer if you say that. It's like if you say, what's your favorite, who's your favorite comedian? And if you go, Shane, you're like, okay, well, I like Nate.

Okay, both of those are acceptable answers. I like Joe List, acceptable answer. You know, there's certain comics. I'm going to stop myself from saying it. Don't want to get involved in drama anymore. and you'd be like, listen, that guy's good, that's not an acceptable answer for that to be your favorite comic. Kyle can aim?

Sure. You can have that as your favorite comic? Certain people, no, not acceptable. And definitely an acceptable answer. The end is the best stand-up on TV in 2026. And we're bypassing everybody and bringing it straight to you. So if you've ever, ever wanted to support me doing crazy shit, it's that. Thank you very much, Duncan Trussle for coming, doing it, talking about Duncan Trussle.

Russell, an Instagram, follow him. If you saw his story, reach out to him, and reach out to all the guys in the story. Send him DMs, leave him comments on any posts they make, unrelated, and go, by the way, I saw your story on the end, and it was my favorite one, or it was one of my favorite ones, or I really loved it. How about that?

We don't have to compare. How about that? Let's get the Buddhist thing that Duncan gets. Let's get that Gujarati or whatever the fuck he is. He's really like Ganesh. He's our Ganesh. Actually, the opposite. Alicia has multiple hands, you know, like six hands, Duncan has one ball.

And I felt the sack. It's really unsettling. You go like this, and this part keeps going. They're both going to go. Yeah, he's helped me learn to meditate in a certain way, not in the goofy way, but just to see what I get out of it. I was like, well, I don't really meditate, but sometimes I take an edible, and I'm on a plane during the day, and I stare out the window.

I look down to the scenery, and as the scenery changes, I let it, I let myself get thoughts, and I have a notebook on my lap, and if I get a thought, I might want to get back, so I quickly jot it down, and I continue to stare out the window. Yeah, man, it goes, that's meditation. Sure, absolutely. Follow that instinct. I love this guy so much. He hired me at the Comedy Store.

Do you know that? Yeah, I went into apply for a job, and he goes, yeah, fill out the application. You've got to come back over and over again and actually apply. It's the only way to, like, get them to, like, hire you. You're good. And, yeah, and he did, and he got me the job, but we became friends. He gave me my first Molly. He gave me a tab of ecstasy when ecstasy was just kind of Molly.

It was a little speedy, but now Molly's a little speedy. But he gave me a pill, a dolphin or a Buddha? I think I might have a Buddha. They had stamps on it, so you knew exactly the makeup of how much speed was in this, how much meth, and how much ecstasy. And I was like, okay, and he goes, this should kick in hard. We were out at a bar on sunset, at a club, whatever. And I remember going like, I don't know.

It goes, is it hitting yet? Maybe I'm getting like a tingling in the side of my mouth. Is that it? He was like, and I know now how ridiculous that was. He goes, no, that is not it. And I'm like, sure, I think I feel. He goes, trust me, dude, you don't. They give me another half.

Broke off a half. He gave me that. And then 15 minutes later, I was like, oh, apologies for before. I feel it now. and I feel amazing. There's nothing better than Molly. Anyone who knows, anyone who's done Molly or Ecstasy,

you know it, because XCity has Molly in it. You know, it's the best. It's funny, I got in trouble for, and I shouldn't have given some to my friend against his will, but it split people on people who are like, could have died, and other people are going, it's Molly, chill. People who have done it are cool.

They go, no, it's their best night of your life. my friend who I gave it to also was like this is the best feeling I've ever had in my life and then later it kind of spun out because his friend abused him don't ever do that to anybody there's a story about it on the end if you go right now to rashvir.com it's the opening story. Dosi-doboy. I couldn't be happy with it. If you don't know by now the prologue was made by William Child. He runs a studio in Bristol called Gravy Mercedes. He did Danny Brown music video, he did a trippy red and, I forget the other guy's name, music video. All his stuff is wild and I could not be happy with the prolog.

But buyer beware, because Steve Simone played it for his family. He goes, let's load this up. And he loaded it up the show that he's on, played the prologue, and his mom was like, oh, my God. And his chick was like, oh, my God, they were viscerally affected by it. William was listening, they were viscerally affected by it. They were like, oh, and his dad was like, this guy's fucking crazy. And then, so his mom was like, I don't know. And then at the end of Steve's story, I didn't do this on purpose.

I go, all right, say hi to your mom for me. And his mom heard that. And she goes, he's such a sweet boy. Mrs. Simone Stale, number one, meatballs's in the game. Literally nobody can make him like you. Oh, guys, I must forget to tell you. R.S. You're a Jew.

It's on Netflix. Yeah. I know. You might have seen it on YouTube. Netflix made it its first special. So go, please, go check out Netflix right now and go watch R.S. If you're watching from a country where English is not your first language, well, you've got to change your language settings to be able to see it.

Yeah, go into the systems. I don't know. I actually don't know how to do it. I try to figure it out at once high, and there was no chance at all of me figuring it out. But if you can figure it out, change your language settings to English. That means if you're in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem or Iran or Palestine, and your first language is Arabic or Hebrew, or you won't be able to search it out. But if you change your language settings to English, then you will.

Ari Shavir Jew, from YouTube to your hearts to Netflix, helping multi-billion dollar corporations make a little more money. That's the Jews. Let's get back to the outro. That's it, everybody. Subscribe wherever you're watching and listen. Leave a comment every week for the algorithm. If you're watching, just go down there and leave a comment.

Bake the system, cook the system, and make it keep popping up and get better and better. The more views we get on these, the better guests and the more interesting guests I can get. The Rob Lowe's don't come if you don't get a lot of downloads. So if you want crazy, cool guests, please suggest them in the comments. I don't know who's been traveling. I know the lead singer of Interpol. I was like, oh, cool. People said it.

We're close. You know? Getting, I'm trying to think who else we got on here. It's because of your comments. Who's the drug guy that won? Hamilton Morris was because you guys suggest. it. Yeah, so many, it was because of your suggestion.

If enough people suggest, I guess they've got a story. Because they suggest these celebrities, I'm like, have they been somewhere? Did they get into some sort of trouble or some sort of fun? It's not just if they're a celebrity. I don't care about that. I need that have traveled in a way that David Cross is doing acid with people in the center of Turkey. That's the kind of shit I want to talk about. I got to get David Cross back on.

Rayne Wilson is going to come on soon and anyway, leave comments and that's it guys. I love you guys. I love talking about travel. Now I'm back recording new episodes and I forgot how much fun it is. I did one today. But Tim Butterley, it'll be out in like three years. I'm the bank.

That's it, everybody. Until next week. How do you say goodbye in Hawaiian? Goodbye in Hawaii. Let's see. Aloha! Bye, everybody. Hey, I actually had to show what you see in that prologue that I had to, I don't want to ruin it for people who haven't seen it yet. But I had to, yeah, I won't ruin it. It's a surprise.

And I didn't want to see it. In all the trailers, I'm like, I don't want to show the prolog because I want anyone to have it ruined. But he needed to, how do I say this? What I had to show him for him to, like, capture it. I won't. Anyway, anything you see in there of me is to. scale. I mean, I looked at it. I'm like, that's them. That's them. I do so different. I didn't go like this. I didn't do the wind. Anyway.

It's a cross-leg. I'm like, this is what they look like when they're on the floor. All right. All right, everybody. Until next week, bye. Please subscribe.