You Be Trippin' - Hungary w/ Graham Kay | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Follow Graham Kay on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/mrgrahamkay Get the new You Be Trippin stickers and T-shirts at https://arishaffir.com/collections/you-be-trippin SPONSORS: -Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/TRIPPIN. On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Graham Kay takes Ari on his year long adventure through Hungary. Graham found himself working as a war profiteer for a year in his 20's. Along the way, he was involved in a crime against the cab drivers of Munich, got lost in a music festival, and cheated on his Hungarian girlfriend. All in all, Hungary sounds like a fun time. Viszlát! You Be Trippin' Ep. 73 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:59 - War Profiteer 00:25:20 - Low Speed Chase in Munich 00:46:12 - Cheating on Hungarian Gf 01:00:08 - Festivals & Music 01:07:29 - Bobby Lee 01:13:07 - Back to Hungary 01:27:31 - Reacclimating to Canada 01:33:09 - Where to Get & Travel Advice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No frills delivers get groceries delivered to your door from no frills with PC Express Shop online and get $15 in PC optimum points on your first five orders shop now at no frills.ca Like this shirt. I think it's a great shirt. I got it from I traded it from with the guy in in Canada somewhere in Newfie somewhere. Oh yeah, Newfie Man? Yeah, either Halifax, I think outside of show this guy had it, I was like that's cool, he goes you want it?

I'm like yeah, I'll give it to you. I'm like yeah, you gotta wear a shirt though. Whatever shirt I had, I was like I'll just swap ya. I had a cool shirt on, somebody gave me that one too. But this is cooler. Visit Palestine. I do not think it looks like this anymore. Oh yeah, cause of the stuff. The stuff.

Right. Don't fuck with us! Yeah. Yeah. Old Bibi's up to his tricks, huh? Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're gonna talk about travel today Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to you be trippin

It's a travel podcast every week a guest takes us to a place that they've been a different place every time it's the only podcast in America that is Endorsed podcast in America that is endorsed by the Canadian trucker convoy in Ottawa. Please help me welcome to the stage today, Graham Kay. Hi. Do they sponsor this? Because I don't love that group. But you know I'm a climber. I want to do well so I'll suck it up. I think mostly they were just there to drink, and then a few people were like, well we have a cause, and everyone's like, oh, they kind of spoke for the group, but most everyone

was like, we're just here to drink. This is how pathetic Canada is, is they were a group of, they're like a Canadian truckers that were you know anti-vaccine okay and but then they drove a convoy all across Canada and stopped working so stop making money and drove to Ottawa honk in front of the Parliament buildings and they had and they had like Trump 2020 flags Trump it's like a different it's a different country it's not a losers it's not about it not about what he represents. Morons like this freedom kind of shit. And they're honking at old ladies, picking up groceries and stuff. It's like nobody, where they think, oh, you're from Ottawa. You're the, you're Trudeau. It's like, no,

we're just people buying groceries. Every time there's a rally, I went on a, um, anonymous rally, anonymous March one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they were something, I went on a anonymous rally, anonymous march once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were just, it was near, it was Union Square, and they would like walk past people, sit in their cafes like outside, like looking at them, and like, wake up sheeple! And I wanna be like, guys, guys,

they're not, they don't even know what you're doing. Yeah, they're just looking at a group. That's the other side of the coin. It's just people who want some, they wanna belong. People wanna belong. People wanna belong. Something to do. Yeah, exactly, they just wanna belong. That's what everybody is.

Where you wanna take us today? What are we gonna talk about? Well, my first job out of university or college, if you're an American. You actually remembering now, you were on Skeptic Tank, an old defunct podcast, and you talk about how many times you got fired. I was fired 18 times.

We did that from the apartment I was staying in. You know what's funny is, in my opinion, the funniest story I forgot to tell, and it was the last one, I got fired for being a house painter for painting the wrong house. Fair. How did I forget that on a comedy podcast? Oh yeah. Anyway, um, I, my first job, my first, I had an office job during college and I worked for the Canadian post office

and administration and I was able to finagle a job. Would you say that word again? Finangle? Spell it. No. Because you can't. I cannot. I can't spell it all. Fin-angle. There's one N in that. Really?

Yeah, you're putting how many? Two at least. You're putting two, yeah. It's one. Fin-angle, it's fin-angle. It's fin-angle. Is it a Yiddish word? It sounds like it, right?

Yeah. Is that why you're using your special powers? It may be, hold on. Let me see here. It's a fin-angle, not Sounds like it, right? Yeah. Is that why you're using your special powers? It may be. Hold on. Yeah. Let me see here. It's a, not finagle, finagle. But anyway, I got a job as a war profiteer working- No, finagle is not a Yiddish word.

It's an American slang terms. It means to get something through trickery. Sounds Jewish. Manipulation or guile. For example, you might finagle an assignment to a committee. Sounds at least Jewish in some way. Uh, yeah, we're recording this. I'm not recording.

There we go. Okay. Is the podcast started? Podcast has started, but this recording, the TV recording is not. Let me get your website up here so people can see it. There you are, in case you don't know who I'm actually talking to, and there's your Instagram, which is Mr. Graham K.

What is this line they're putting through Instagram? I thought you just did that with your mouse. No, it was in Ian Sterling's also. The hell? Anyway, I got a job. The Canadian government paid me to work for a private American company. Lying.

Yeah, I don't like that line. Sorry, sorry to interrupt you. I was a war profiteer in Budapest, Hungary during the height of the Iraq War. A war profiteer? I was a war profiteer. That means someone makes profit off the war. Off of the war.

Which, how? We were the middlemen. I did logistics for a company that, now off air we were talking about the breakup of Yugoslavia. So this company was an American, it was an American company founded by an American with Hungarian ancestry, so Budapest is the

capital of Hungary okay I drink American bills over there you know which one it is you have American bills no Hungarian bills oh you what I'm trying to get I was like I do know American bills as a matter of fact I might have some in my pocket yeah I do bottom bottom right I think, there's a Canadian 20. It's the yellow one. I could see that. 5,000. Anyway.

Yeah, they're not doing well. Despite, yeah, anyway. I'm a bad host, so I realize I'm gonna distract you a lot. So you just gotta kind of keep it going back on the. I have ADD. You can't be throwing balls to the dog. Damn. Pointing at bills, saying, have you ever seen an American bill?

Which is what you said and then pointed at a wall. I'm gonna look. I got an American bill over here. By God, he's got a fiver. That was a big choice not to put up a one. I have a two on my fridge. Really? An American two.

You know, they're magic in Ecuador. What do you think about that? They're magic in Ecuador. What do you think about that? They're magic in Ecuador. What do you mean? The American two. They're magic? What do you mean? You can't just say that.

If you go to Ecuador. It doesn't make any sense. And pay with a two, let's say it's $8, you give a five, one, and a two, you'll stop traffic. They're like, what? Yeah. If you tip, and you tip with a two,

even if it's $100, that tip with a two is like saying, here, I'm gonna name my baby after you. Wow. They're like. Wow. What about a sack of joeya, like one of those $1 coins? Don't give a fuck. No.

Crisp two will get you a lot of. Should tell them it's gold. Yeah, black gold they call it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, so. How'd you get that job? The Canadian government had this like. You post a stamp yourself and send it over there?

Yeah, I put a bunch of pictures of the Queen of England and Maurice Richard playing hockey. The Canadian government had this like program that they would send people overseas if they had a college degree and were under 30 and they would pay for it and they had a website where you could apply for these different jobs and these companies would sign up for it.

You could do anything from digging a well in Africa to being like a DJ, like helping a DJ in London or something. Interesting. The idea, I don't know why, but the idea being, I guess you get your young people overseas and then they'll make businesses and then whatever. Oh right, yeah. So anyway, this company, you get your young people overseas, and then they'll make businesses, and then whatever. Oh, right, yeah. So anyway, this company, they made a bunch of money

in the Yugoslavian War, being the middleman between American army bases and the corporations that sell the American army stuff. They're like, we'll ship it and do the logistics and everything. And then that war ended in Yugoslavia. So where to make money off war? Yes. Like that's my business.

It's like, I don't want war, eventually you will. But like, hey, it's happening. 100%. So anyway, that war ended, then they decided the Iron Curtain's fallen down. We're gonna bring American know-how into corporate moving or whatever. Then the second war, the Iraq War starts up, 2005, the iron curtain's falling down, we're gonna bring American know-how into corporate moving or whatever.

Then the second war, the Iraq War starts up, 2005. Boom, we still have all the emails and all the contacts for the American army and military. Let's start this up again. Budapest is right in between time zones between Iraq and America. We can do it in the same day. We can do the business in the same day between both.

And so my job was to, basically we didn't sell any weapons or ship any weapons. We shipped everything an army base would need. So with Camp Victory in outside Baghdad International Airport or within Baghdad International Airport, it was called Camp Victory and they had to change the name because it's bad publicity because they didn't win. But they...

The camp victory in Iraq? Yeah, in Iraq is right. Baghdad International Airport, and then they had a big wall around it. And then they had something called the Green Zone in Baghdad, so they had the Tigris River that was on three sides you were surrounded, and they built a wall on the bottom side, and then they were completely encased and safe in

the green zone and they were safe in the airport and there was a highway running to downtown uh... uh... baghdad in in the green zone and the uh... and uh... baghdad international airport camp victory and it was most dangerous stretch of road in the entire world because bombs and stuff because bombs and insurgents and everything and they had something called a rhino bus. So the people that worked for us, they were... This is Camp Victory? This thing on the water? No. That's, I think that's a palace inside Camp Victory. That is Saddam Hussein's old palace and that was also near the airport I guess and in Camp Victory and so the American military set up operations in that in that palace. It's so

funny because that reminds me of like you play a show in like Stockholm or something like that like oh you know this is like a Nazi base. Yes. This is Nazi headquarters and it's like they didn't build it for that but they just took it over. They took it over. In the south of France, Rolling Stones recorded an album in an old Nazi headquarters in the south of France. Hello everybody, I'm breaking into today's episode to let you know exciting news about our guest Graham Kay. He's a hilarious stand-up comic, he's one of the nicest guys I met when I was in New York. Even though he's from Canada, not even though, legitimately Canadians are nicer. I love how everyone gets

confused about politics versus actual humanity And they go all Canadian paws at least my friends at least my friends in Texas, especially I have friends. I have conservative and liberal friends and it's very funny I sit back as a non-political person and I just watched some yell at each other and Neither one are really listening to what the other ones legitimate gripes are they're always talking about each other's fringes Anyway anyone who bitches about Canadians hasn't really hung out with a Canadian They're legit way nicer than Americans on a day-to-day level. They're just friendly They're outgoing and friendly and Graham is and he made me feel at home and on top of that

It's one of the funniest comics you'll ever meet. Oh, got it as a fight actually can I share this? I will share it real quick. First I'm gonna tell you he's doing a one-man show at the Soho Playhouse. He's doing his first one-man show out here in New York. It's July 9th through August 3rd. Get tickets at SohoPlayhouse.com. He also said there's a promo code just for my listeners. Peter Parker, P-E-T-E-R-P-A-R-K-E-R. Why is this transcribing? That's crazy that it just starts transcribing. This phone, I mean, they're not even hiding it anymore. The way they're listening in.

Pete and me, it's about a hilarious tale of growing up with a brother with severe autism. King of the retards, I called him. The jelly bean counters of the world. We need it. Hey, you drop a box of jelly beans, a whole fucking thing and it comes out. Oh shit, I dropped all the jelly beans. Someone's like, how many? I was like, how many? How am I supposed to know? You bring in a fucking ringer. 846. It's actually a joke from my special. America's Sweetheart. Go see Pete and me at the Soho Playoffs, July 9th through August 3rd. Get tickets 846. It's actually a joke from my special. America's sweetheart.

Go see Pete and me at the Soho Playhouse July 9th through August 3rd. Get tickets right now at sohoplayhouse.com. You can also go see Graham Kay on the road. He's got two big dates. Comedy Bar in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. September 9th, the Comedy Bar. Sorry, September 6th, the Comedy Bar.

And then in October in Cincinnati Bombs away, Cincinnati, Ohio October 24th and 25th get both tickets at Graham K. Dot-com me I just got one more road date left and that's it for a year and a half It's Charlestown West Virginia if live anywhere near it come on out all different material from America, sweetheart Charlestown was vision to get tickets at RRShipper.com. Please subscribe wherever you're watching, listen, but guys, I'm testing new mics by the way. I've got exciting news.

We got new merch. We got stickers and we got t-shirts. You be tripping stickers. Three colors. They want to do a three pack for a fuck at 15. I said, no way, that's five dollars each. That's actually not bad. Five dollar stickers about right.

I said, you know what, let's do a six pack, 250 each. Three colors, Ubi Trippin. What I'd like you to do is put these in wild places all over the world. We got a nice blue. I'm gonna fucking get right into the thing here. Isn't that fucking cool? cool designed by Lee and Gwyn Abracadabra we got a

Maroon on cream that's a cool one like put these on like, you know, wait, how is it? There you go Legitimate I want you to put this on like, on a pyramid in Egypt or on Machu Picchu or at Anne Frank's house. And we got it clear. That I think is for passports. I'm going to put mine, I don't have my passport here, I have it at home. But it looks like a passport stamp and I think it would go great on your passport holder or even in a page of your own passports.

All clear. I don't wanna waste this one. Maybe I will waste it. No, see? Can you see it? All clear. Yeah, so it would go fucking great in a fucking passport. Actually, my journal I'm gonna do.

The journal I'm taken traveling that I got in a special place I'll tell you about later so you just take these out fuck it unstick them come on come on come on come on just unstuck it by the way the hardness it takes to unstick a sticker, better the quality. Okay, we got the Ubi Trippin, and boom, right there. So let me show you what it would look like in your own book. Boom. That's right there. There you have it.

All these stickers are available right now. There's also got T-shirts, you be tripping T-shirts. I'm going to put this one on this water bottle right above or next to Bert's tit. Yeah, make your own water bottles. Six pack. That allows you to fucking use one on a passport, give one to someone else, maybe that you meet on the road.

Like, wait, you listen to this podcast too? Or turn them on to it. If you're traveling, if you're backpacking around the world, turn them on to it and say, hey, you like that actually? They'll listen to a few episodes and be like, oh my God, I love it. Talk about it for a while. It's like, well, I got a gift for you.

One passport stamp sticker or a water bottle sticker. Boom, come on. There it is. There it is. Proudly. Boom, goes the dynamite. There it is. Put in a picture of the t-shirts, same design, red on black, another one mint on like a greenish.

That's it everybody. Yeah, you can get it right at the bottom if you're watching on YouTube. You can get it right on the bottom. There's a link right there for merch. Otherwise go to rhschafer.com. If you're listening, they should have this on whatever, but a six pack of stickers or the new UB trip and T-shirt. That's it guys. Let's get back to the episode with Graham K talking about hungry and in the

outro, I'm going to talk about this. We finally completed the wall. All right, let's get back to the episode. I thought I was just going to Budapest to work for a company that was helping NATO build hospitals in Iraq. I thought I was gonna be, they lied to me, and I was like, okay, and then I got there, and I remember it took me, I'm a little slow maybe. It took me, like.

You could be like a great tard. What's that? Like one of the greatest tards. Thank you, yeah. I'd rather be the top than like the dumbest normal guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big fish, small ponds, small fish. No, I'm working hard.

My little pistons are running hot. I do paperwork. So it took me like, this is a year contract. I'm in Budapest now and I'm 23, 24. What a time. And I have an apartment downtown, two bedroom apartment I share with another guy. Did they get it for you?

We did it ourselves but they helped us. I think they, but it was like a sick apartment downtown. Anyway, so after a couple months, I go, hey, I think, because I remember we were like working, we're shipping things, we're taking, like you buy a hammer at Lowe's in America, and then you want wanna ship that hammer that you bought

for $3 to Baghdad International Airport, or Nails, or a comic book, or anything, an Army base would need, because they're children, so they need comic books. We'd ship a lot of comic books. They're all 18. They're all 18. And so, you take a hammer,

you buy it at Lowe's for $3 in America, by the time it gets to Baghdad International Airport, it's like $25. With all these middlemen like us. Taking charge of more. Offsetting the cost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were called AES Cargo, and we were one of the, So we were called AES Cargo. And we were one of the, us and DHL

were the only two companies to have bases in Baghdad International Airport and the Green Zone. So we did it. We shipped a lot of stuff. And you'd call Iraqi customs. So you're calling Iraqi customs. These are Iraqis. But what happened is when the Americans took over,

they said you could have your own president, but we're gonna run the infrastructure. And then they privatized it and sold it to all their friends. Dick Cheney sold it to all of his friends. What do you mean, what's the infrastructure? Like if you were to call Iraqi customs, you wouldn't get a Muslim man picking up the phone speaking in Arabic. So it would be separate customs or did they just ran Iraqi customs?

They ran Iraqi. It would be Lurline from Mississippi would answer the phone. Wow. That's interesting. Keep going. And be like, hey, it's Iraqi customs. That's crazy. interesting and be like hey it's Iraqi customs because they privatized it and and it was I having a brain for right now there it was Dine Corp was one of the big corporations heard of them and then it was what was what Dick Cheney was on the board of Boeing Halliburton Halliburton and so Haliburton and Dine Corp were the two major companies

that I would be calling to try and get, let's say rebar building supplies into Iraq. And then I would call Lerlene at Iraqi Customs. She'd be like, hi, hi. And I'd be like, all of my Haliburton, and Haliburton stuff is through, but all my Dine Corp stuff is like waylaid. It's like being held up.

And she'd be like, well, I can't help you with that. And then I did research and I found out that Halliburton was running Iraqi Customs. They privatized it and gave it out to all their friends. So they would intentionally hold up the competitors stuff. Yes, so they were intentionally holding it. And so I go to my boss, I go, hey, I think, I think there's some corruption here.

I think that, I think we're, and also I think that we're war profiteers. And he was like an Australian guy, he started laughing, because like he wasn't the main boss, but he was an Australian, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, it's the mob, mate. You break someone's windows and then you go, I sell windows.

That's all it is. Wow. Yeah. Why'd you go to Australia for that? Why'd you just go to Australia for that? Because he was from Australia. Oh, okay, okay. And then you were looking at the ball, weren't you?

I forgot the Australian part, but yeah, it's possible. I'm easily distracted. But then, yeah, so I just started going like, screw this. I stopped. I still had the Canadian government's paying me. They're not paying me. Oh, interesting. So I started to just like fuck off.

Which tracks for the Graham K. Fuckin', yeah. You're not looking to keep jobs. You're looking to keep them longer than you will eventually. That's right. I knew I wanted to be a comedian anyway. And I was like, I hate this job.

And it's an office job. In Budapest. I was like, if I hate this, then I'm gonna hate it in Ottawa. Yeah. Guarantee you that. Ottawa, in the running at least for most boring city in Canada Oh easily easily the most gotten worse. Yeah, has it I think it's kind of a little better Homelessness has gotten like it's actually like now finally not safe

It's safe. Okay, maybe just in Ottawa It's very sad. Last year. But they were like, oh, this homeless is now here. Well, for them, there's like six. They were all bitching about it. I was like, this is always the place I could just do mushrooms and like, I'm the dangerous one.

No, it's still like that. Trust me. It's like three people get stabbed a year and they're like, it's not safe out here. It's like, well, there's a million people. Maybe the city's growing. Yeah, right, exactly, yeah. But anyway, I literally went home for the holidays and the six o'clock news on the radio was like,

do do do do do do do do do do. I'm not joking, do do do do do do do do. A man fell from a ladder today in Vanier. I was like, a man fell from a ladder today in Vanier. Man fell from, dear Lord, stop the car. So anyway, I'm just gonna start fucking off, not doing a good job. That'll be my silent protest, and see how long I can keep this up.

I love how it's like silent protest instead of just like laziness, but like let's call it something. Or were you like, I can see if it's like, Schindler ran the thing, it's like, let's run the company slower so we give them less. I will say that 50% of it, I will admit, was being a 23-year-old who wanted to party,

but I was trying hard before I pieced this all together. I was like, was being a 23-year-old who wanted to party, but I was trying hard before I pieced this all together. I was like, maybe this will be a future for me. I'll live in Budapest. I'll be this like expat dude who like works in shipping, importing, exporting, and like I've got this cool like weird life. They were gonna transfer me.

It is cool. They were gonna, yeah, it was super cool. Budapest, incredible. They were gonna transfer me to Prague It is cool. They were going to. Yeah, it was super cool. Budapest is incredible. They were going to transfer me to Prague because they liked how well I was doing. And my mom is from Czechoslovakia and was like, you're going to work in Prague. Oh, my God. You'll be close to family. I'll come over. This my my boys.

Finally, you're making good because I like got sent to like boot camp in high school and stuff. Czechoslovakia back then. No, it's split up in 93. This is like 12 years later. OK. So she's from Slovakia, the Michailovce in the East Side. So anyway, then I'm like, I'm not doing this. I want to be a comedian.

And I just started taking every three-day weekend and then calling in sick. And I went to Munich, I'm a big history guy, a big World War II guy. And I'm a fan of a lot. Tactically, tactically, you have good ideas. No, no, no. It's like the liberals who can't see

that Trump is funny ever. And I'm like, well, I mean, I'm not liking him. They're eating the dog. That is funny. And he's like, that's not, he's not funny. I'm like, well, you're not gonna give me anything. You gotta give it up for Hitler's tactics. In the beginning.

For war. The war tactics. In the beginning, yeah. I would say it invaded- The Blitzkrieg was a great idea. Invading Russia. Yeah, getting all of, dude, getting all of your soldiers and putting them on meth. Yeah, it was a good idea.

It was a good idea. Yeah. They're like, everyone's like, they just won't stop marching. How are they doing this? Well, they got, they're on meth, their teeth were falling out for God's sake. It's like grinding their teeth, like,

oh, yeah, yeah, hey, hey, hey. But yeah, probably invading Russia. It was a bad idea. It was a bad idea. Doing a land war in winter. You play golf at all? Yeah. So you know how sometimes you're in the woods

and you're like, you hit the woods, you're like, I see an opening straight towards the green. It's not very big, but I can make it. And you're like, just punch out. Yes. Just punch out. And when you do make it one out of the seven rounds, you get can make it. And you're like, just punch out. Just punch out. And when you do make it one out of seven rounds, you get a shot like that and you do it,

you're like, that'll keep me losing five strokes a round. 100%. Every time you hit one. Also. Off a pine cone, like dude, this isn't, just punch out. You lost the stroke. Yeah, just. And also, you know, don't listen to your friends

who are like, you could just go for it. Yeah, you know what don't listen to your friends who are like, you could just go for it. Yeah, you know what I mean? If your friend is the head of the Luftwaffe and says, let me finish off England, don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. He had a tiny window to get Russia. He's like, if we get it though,

we'll be done with it early. I'm like, well, let's just wait till spring. Yeah, but anyway, I'm glad he was a narcissist. I'm glad he thought he was God, because then he made mistakes, and now the world's better. But anyway. Hey guys, today's episode of UB Trippin' is brought to you by ExpressVPN.

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And I still took a chance, and I got away with it. One time in, one time in Nashville, some chick, I'm pretty responsible. I'd like to have the STD talk, I like to have the pregnancy talk. I go, hey, have you had anything? And then I lead with what I've had. That's the good way to do it, because then it opens

up the door. So I say, talk about chlamydia, curable, went away. Talk about general warts, I've had general warts. I've had chlamydia, multiple times chlamydia. They've had genital warts, they've had chlamydia, multiple times chlamydia. Anyone under a certain age has been vaccinated for HPV, so genital warts are not really a problem. Plus, they've been gone for years and years. And then the chlamydia comes and goes.

You piss in two directions. By the way, shout out to you guys. If you piss in two directions, a little note for you in the morning, more than one morning in a row, you piss in two directions. By the way, shout out to you guys, if you piss in two directions, little note for you in the morning, more than one morning in a row, you got chlamydia, stop fucking. But anyway, this chick goes, okay, no, I haven't had anything. I was like, okay, great.

One time I did say that STDs are great. I'm glad you said that. I do have herpes. I was like, oh, and right then I got a phone call, a text from another chick who wanted to come over, and I said, actually, I need time you said that. I do have herpes. I was like, oh, and right then I got a phone call, a text from another chick who wanted to come over, and I said, actually, I need time to think about this herpes thing. Let me think about it.

Text the other chick, came over, herpes free. But I have fucked chicks with herpes without condoms in the past. Anyway, this chick goes, no, I would definitely not have an abortion. And I go, oh, well, we should use a condom. She goes, yeah, because I'm definitely not getting an abortion if I can.

I mean, don't knock me up, but if I do, I'm definitely keeping it. I was like, okay, still fucked without a condom. Crazy, it's crazy. It's like legitimately, it's like, what are you doing? And that, my friends, is what using your fucking computer at the airport's like. Yeah, sure, you got away with it.

There's hackers everywhere, you're on an unsecured network. That's where ExpressVPN comes in. Who else does these roundabout ways of doing that? Yeah, that's right guys. Using your computer on the wifi at the airport or in a library, none of my fucking fans go to libraries. The airport, bus stations, it's totally unsecure. Insecure. No, insecure is what I am at parties. Unsecure.

It's like fucking a chick who will not have an abortion without a condom. Oh, I'll just go slow. I'll fucking chick with herpes just slowly. It's so dumb. Yes, I got away with it. Yes, you've gotten away with using a fucking... Your data hasn't been fucking robbed. Your data will get robbed guys. It's so dumb. Yes, I got away with it. Yes, you've gotten away with using a fucking... Your data hasn't been fucking robbed. Your data will get robbed, guys. It's so easy. You gotta use a VPN. You gotta.

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Use it, get secure, start wearing a condom. That's it. We got away with it you guys. We've all gotten away with it in the past. Stop taking these chances. You know how troubling it is after you do a bad fuck? After you did something you shouldn't do and then the next month, I mean to have to check in with a woman for another full month like how you doing? How you doing? How you doing? Hoping she eventually tells you about the period she got so

you can be like well I'm off the hook on that one What are you gonna call the hackers every day? Oh, have you stolen my fucking bank info yet? That's even worse they can wait a while let your deposit a bunch of money What the abortion chick is just like oh have a period and I'm off the hook. I mean, I've taken so many chances. I did get away with it though. Focus on the positive.

All right, guys, let's get back to the episode. Sorry, that was long, but I got into it. I did enjoy it. All right, that's it. Back to the episode. Bye. long but I got into it. I did enjoy it. All right, that's it. Back to the episode. Bye! Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Roger Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes

offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online GO! Pass ahead of the show at gotransit.com slash tickets. So I went to Munich, a three-day weekend, and I sign up for a World War II bike tour. And the night I get there I go to a punk rock show.

I haven't got, by the way, I've been in Budapest for like four or five months, haven't got laid. Yeah, I was gonna ask like how are the chicks there? They're beautiful. Could not crack it. You couldn't even make time with them? Couldn't figure it out. And I was just so frustrated.

I was like, Munich, Munich. Berlin though, but yeah. Well, I wish I had gone. But Munich is way closer to Budapest. I could go on the night train, gypsies tried to rob me, but my feet were big. Munich, oh I see. So my toes, when they opened the door at nighttime,

they brushed my toes, because I'm tall. Because I was lying down on the seat. And if I didn't, the gypsies would have robbed me on the night train. But, uh. Those gypsies. Those gypsies. And then, anyway, so, I go to a punk show that night, meet a beautiful girl, doesn't work out, fine.

But I'm up to like five in the morning chasing this girl. Yeah. And I have to wake up for the World War II tour. It's like a 10 a.m. or something. So 10 a.m. we go on this big long tour. I meet an American girl on the tour. It ends at the the Hofra House Beer Hall. You meet a second girl. Meet a second girl. Okay. And we're getting along. It took you to the Hofra House? Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. No we yeah the the tour ended there. We started drinking and and and I'm making headway

She's like look, I can't we can't hook up now Why because I have to go on a train in three hours, but I'm gonna be going to need six minutes Three minutes left over for me to clean up. Yeah, but they But they, for me to finish crying. 153 extra minutes you have. And then, and then, and then, so she goes, and I'm the one who's crying in that joke by the way. So anyway, she, she, she goes, I gotta catch a train, but I'm going through Budapest with my friends

in a couple days, I'll hit you up. Here, let's exchange numbers, we exchange numbers. I'm like, great. And then I'm like kinda drunk, and then I go, they leave, I'm alone, and I see these two beautiful, blonde, like German girls, and I go, I just sit beside them, start talking. I make friends with them.

They're like, hey, do you wanna come to like, a real German club, like not in this touristy area? I go, yep. In Budapest. This is in Munich still. Still in Munich, okay. This is a three day weekend. Okay.

And I'm at the Hopper House and then we. Wow, that's cool. And the thing about the Hopper House, they give you a big beer stein, you try and steal it, right? So I steal it. You got it. I stole it and I got this thing and I'm like,

and then they take me to this club and they won't let me in with the beer stein, so I hide behind a bush, I go in the club, we get drunk. I haven't slept, I've slept stein so I hide behind a bush, I go in the club, we get drunk, I haven't slept, I've slept like three hours. Hide behind a bush. One of them's gone, we sit in a booth. I'm kinda black.

You can't bring a stolen beer stein into our beer establishment. Yeah, I'm blacking out in this booth, there's two women on either side. I kinda like come to, one of them's gone, one of them is leaning in to me for a kiss. I close my eyes to kiss her, I pass out. I spill my beer on her crotch.

She goes, my pants, what are you doing, my pants? And then she leaves to get in a cab. I like run after her and I go, come on, I'll come home with you, come on, let me come home with you, come on, come on, let me in the cab, let me in the cab. She goes, oh. Begging is always a very sexual.

She was so turned off. And I couldn't figure out, why can't I get laid in Budapest with these moves? And then I, then she goes, fine, and I get in the cab, I immediately pass out. I wake up, I'm in the suburbs, there's no cars, there's no stop sign, I'm in the suburbs. There's no cars, there's no stop sign. I'm in the back of a cab, the cab driver goes,

he's going, pay 50 euro. I give him my last 50 euro. I get out of the cab, she's gone. And I'm like, hey, hey, Marguerite, or whatever her name was, Marguerite. And I'm like, fuck you, fuck you. It's like crazy. Clearly this guy did her a favor and was like,

look, I'll just drive around the corner and all that. And let him out. Yeah, and she was like, thank you. Hey, this fucking asshole talked his way in here and I don't wanna, can you just move him a little out of here, I have no idea. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I get it. I could do that.

And anyway, so I pay 50 euro, which at 23, 24 years old is. It's a billion dollars. It's a billion dollars. And then I'm like, it's cold. It's like winter. I'm like, I'm gonna freeze to death. This is before smartphones.

I've got a little brick phone. I go, oh, there's a phone booth. So I start sleeping in the phone booth. I'm shivering. A cab pulls up, a bunch of guys get out. I run to the cab. I go, take me to the train station. He takes me to the train station.

I have no money. I'm like, okay. I know that my hostel is near the train station. So they get, but I gotta run. Because it's different. It's not near my hostel, so you don't know where I live. And I go, I have to get home. There's no Uber.

Uber's not gonna exist for another 10 years. You couldn't wait that long. I was gonna freeze to death. You couldn't wait 10 years. No, I would die if I waited 10 years. You would die, stop Asian, freezing. And then I would probably meet her on the street in the suburbs and it would be super awkward.

You're a fucking bitch. Sorry about screaming in your neighborhood. I'm sorry about screaming, yeah, I'm a bad guy. But, so we drive at the thing, the train station. I go, he goes, 50 euro. I go, nine euro, and then I run out. He jumps out of his seat. I'm in the back right.

He jumps out of his seat, does like a Miami Vice slide across the hood, grabs me, I swipe him away, I keep sprinting. He calls, he radios all of his other cabbie buddies. Now I'm running through the streets and cabbies are chasing me and radioing each other and there's cabs everywhere. I can hear them, and like I'll turn around a corner, a new cab will start chasing me.

I'll run around the corner. I like, I'm sprinting, there's no cabs everywhere, I can hear them, and like I'll turn around a corner, a new cab will start chasing me, I'll run around the corner, I'm sprinting, there's no cabs down this street, and I go, I could hear cabs, like cars coming. All chasing you. All chasing me, so I duck down an alleyway, dead end, I'm like, uh-oh, and I crouch behind a garbage can, and I'm trying to make myself as small as possible, and there's an alleyway, and I'm looking down the alleyway,

and I'm like, if they stop, they're gonna trap me, they're going to lock me in this and then they're going to beat me up or whatever. And so I hear a car coming, I don't see it because I'm just looking down the opening and I hear a car coming and I hear the radio like, cab passes the opening. This is the Warriors, yeah. And I'm like, I'm like crouched behind, please don't see me, please don't see me, please don't see me. Cab passes, I go, oh thank God. Then I hear like, stop, and I'm like, fuck,

and so I have to sprint towards the opening. I'm sprinting towards the cab. Towards where he is. Because I have to. This is the plot of the Warriors. Is it? Warriors come out and play, it's taxi drivers come out and play.

Yeah. And so I have to, in order to get, it's a dead end, right? It's a, I have to run towards him. He gets out of the cab, does a sweep kick, and he kicks my shin. And I run through it and I'm bleeding down my shin. And now I'm like, now it's like seven in the morning

and like the sun's coming up and I'm running down the street and there's cabbies on foot chasing me. I see people that look like my parents, cause they're older and up early looking at a map, like tourists, and I run by them and people are going, stop thief, stop thief, like a movie. And I was like, I'm so embarrassed. I come from an upper middle class family,

I'm running past these, people look like my parents, I'm going, stop thief. And I'm like, what have I done? And my parents. I'm going, stop thief! And I'm like, what have I done? And I run, I run. You are, you're a thief. I run to the main drag, and then they had called the cops, and the cops come and they run into me kind, they stop,

and I'm on the hood now, and I go, help me, help me, help me, those cabbies, one of them tried to touch my dick. He tried to touch my dick. I keep saying that. You're drunk. And the guy's like, the cops aren't buying it, but it's my word against his kind of thing. And then the cop goes like, how much was it?

And the guy goes, 50 euro. And he goes, come with me to a bank machine. And he makes me take out 50 euro, makes me give him 50 euro. He gives, the cop gives me a receipt, because it's Germany. And he goes, never come back to Germany again. You must never come back to Germany.

He did not have the authority to enforce that, but I'm sure to a 24 year old, fuck, I think I banned from. And then I'm banned from. And then I go, okay. This is the worst thing that's ever happened in Germany. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I go, okay, well, fuck it. So I go back to my youth hostel.

They're kicking me out now like three hours. So I have two hours sleep. Now I've slept like four hours in two nights. Oh my God. And I get out and I have two hours sleep. Now I've slept like four hours in two nights. Oh my God. And I get out and I have to catch a train. But I have like three hours and I'm like, I want that Stein, because I forgot the Stein. So I go back to the Hopper house,

I pay for the Stein this time, it's like 20 euro. I go, but it made me late for my train, so I missed the train. So now I have to go through Austria, and now I'm gonna, I'm still gonna make- But there's no directs? No, and I have to sleep in the train station that night, in Vienna, but I can still make work the next morning,

but I only have like a half hour turnaround at my house, but I'll get in at like 7.30 in the morning or something. Change, go. And so, but I'm like, I'll be fine, I'll just sleep three hours in the train station. I go to the Vienna train station, it's like nighttime, and they kick me out, I didn't realize, they kick you out of the train station.

So now, I have a brick phone, this is no smartphone, I'm wandering around, I'm like, I gotta find a youth hostel to sleep, I'm dying. I've slept four hours in two days. I flag down a cab, I go, take me to a hotel, he goes, I don't know, I go, take me to a youth hostel. Takes me to a youth. He goes, I don't know. I go, take me to a youth hostel. Takes me to youth hostel. He goes, he goes, 45 euro.

I don't have 45 euro. I go, ugh. I go, I go, do you want this beer stein? He goes, yeah. So I give him the beer stein. The whole reason why I'm late is the beer stein. I have to give it to him, so he'll leave me alone. I'm not gonna run again.

I go into the youth hostel. I go, give me a wake up call for 7 a.m. They go, we don't do wake up calls. And I have a phone without a alarm. No alarm on the brick? No, on the brick. So I have to start wandering the streets. And I'm like, I have to wander the streets for four hours.

I find a cafe, I fall asleep, they kick me out. So you can sleep till seven? Yeah, they kick me out of the cafe, I get on the train, I make it to Budapest. I go to work. I start convulsing and throwing up because I'm exhausted. I have to go home because I'm sick. And then I get a call from that American girl

from the opera house saying, let's party tonight. Oh, she was an American. I want to hang out with you. And I go, I can't. I'm sick. No. Why? I can't, I'm sick. No, why? Graham, why? I was sick.

I was throwing up at work, cause I was exhausted. I was over, I had slept two hours in three days. Okay, do you know what cures that sickness? Why, I didn't have the access to those things. Pussy juice. Oh yeah. Eat some pussy juice and you'll be better.

I'm not, I was like going delirious. I had no more, I was sick. So you said I can't do it, I'm sick? I was sick. What a, well, I can't say it but you're such a dork. You just said pussy. Oh. Yeah.

Dorky. I was out, I mean. Such a dorky, that's what I was going to call you. Like I'm not cool. No, no. Also it makes me kind of angry. You spend all this time not getting laid. You wanted to, then you had a chance in the country. Anyway. Yeah. She came through too. She came through. That never happens. And it was right then. I was, I was, yeah, I know. And I thought, why couldn't she do it then?

Oh, she had to leave on a train to leave on the train I will fuck y'all be yeah, so I had no I had no pussy. I had no Beerstein you got a full I was sick from work. I was people were angry at me. Oh my god, bro The new bemo vi porter mastercard is your ticket to more. More perks. More points. More flights. More of all the things you want in a travel rewards card. And then some.

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But then I met a stewardess who worked in for like some like Europa, Europa Air. Yeah. And then we, we dated for a while and then. Fully dated. Fully dated. Hungarian?

Yeah. Yeah. She was great. She used to be, she used to date a gangster before me. Oh. And she, she. You were the safe other way. You were the Aidan after she dated Vic.

Every time she showed up at, I'd invited her to work to like hang out. I would wear a suit and it was ridiculous for me to wear a suit. Why are you wearing a suit? Cause I sold the job I got fired from previous to that. I was selling Hugo boss suits, but I kept getting everyone's measurements wrong. So they fired me, but I had a suit. I had like a couple of nice suits. So I show up and it's wrong. People like, I'd show up. If you had measurements wrong, people like,

I would like. Yeah, all the legs were always like, one was shorter than the other. Like I just kinda like eyeballed it. Like no, you can't eyeball Taylor. I can eyeball it. Yeah. And um.

You're like an L or an XL. Like that's not how suits come in all sizes. They come in specific numbers. Well, well you gotta, you gotta, you gotta L leg and a 16 waist leg. What? Yeah. But then, so,

then start, she was like, I can fly us to Spain for free. Let's go on vacation. Okay, because it's short. Yeah, I've never been to Spain. I was like, it's great. And then we go to Majorca, Spain. Oh, I heard Spain. Oh I heard Mallorca is the one people know. Yeah and but in that interim our relationship started to sputter out. And then I

went to see a music festival in Serbia in a castle. I saw the white stripes playing a castle in Serbia overlooking the Danube. It's called Exit Festival. And I saw a bunch of like DJs in a moat and my girlfriend from college was traveling and I met her there. And she goes, you know, like these music festivals where it's just like a bunch of tents? Yeah. It's like a tent city, a thousand tents. I get off the train. This is before smartphones, I go, she goes, I get off at like seven in the morning, she's like partying all night, she goes, I'm in the blue tent.

I go, okay, I get there, there's 1,000 tents. I pick one out of 500 blue tents. I go, hey, I'm so tired, I've been on a train all night, there's a girl in there, I don't know. I go, can I just sleep here? She goes, okay, but don't fucking touch me. I go, yeah, I've been on a train all night, there's a girl in there, I don't know. I go, can I just sleep here? She goes, okay, but don't fucking touch me. I go, yeah, no problem. Yeah.

This lady? Some stranger. Oh, oh, oh. And then I lie down beside her. She let you? I don't, dude. Yeah, but don't touch me, what a fucking hippie. I just told her the truth.

I was like, I'm supposed to be my girlfriend or my ex-girlfriend, my old friend. Can I just told her the truth I was like I'm supposed to be my girlfriend or my ex-girlfriend my old friend can I just sleep in the same I mean it'd be like if if even if a woman has to sleep in my tent unless she was a fucking knockout yeah yeah it's crazy I'm like no I'm so tired I'm like I get it I've been there I would sleep in the dirt I totally you can sleep out back I don't know why I just I don't know why I asked I did and then she said yes, I fell asleep and then it unzips a couple hours later like the tent. Yeah and Jenna was there. She was like you found the blue tent. Wait, what do you mean she was there? She was in So the my ex-girlfriend goes I'm in the blue tent. Wait, but that's not the one you were sleeping in. How big are these tents?

So picture a city of tents. Yeah, like. Red ones, blue ones, green ones. But just like personal tents. Yes, and there is probably 300 blue tents. I had a one out of 300 chance of picking the right one and I did. But who was this other chick you slept next to?

I don't know, a Frenchie man or something. And so then Jenna came home, just was like, to her, she's like, let me sleep, oh, I guess Sarah hooked up. And it's like, oh. She's like, Graham found the blue tent. I was like, whoa. That has to rejuvenate the relationship. Because we weren't trying to make out,

it became very intense. We like did make out, but that's it. And then I still had this girlfriend, and the very next day I was supposed to go to Mallorca with my girlfriend. Yeah. My Hungarian girlfriend. I go but I take the train back to Hungary. We fly to Spain and then she's mean to me the whole time. We're not talking. We have some sangria. We're there for, we're supposed to be there five days. Five days. First day, she goes, I go, what's the problem? She goes, I know you've been cheating on me. I go, I admittedly made out with my ex-girlfriend the day before or two days before and I go, what? But she doesn't know that. She thinks I've

been cheating on her. And also that's just like a make out. It's not cheating. Yeah. I go, what? But she doesn't know that. She thinks, I've been cheating on her. And also that's just like a make out, it's not cheating. Yeah, I go, especially when you're 23. And an ex, come on, that's me not cheating on you. I go, she goes, I've been cheating on you because I know you've been cheating on me. I go, what? What? She goes, yeah, my ex-boyfriend, the gangster,

used to make her carry a pistol. And I go, what? She goes, yeah, because I know that you've been cheating on me. I go, what do you mean? How do you know I've been cheating on you? She goes, I went over to your house last time we had sex. I went over to your apartment. There was crumpled up Kleenex all around the bed and that only ever happens after we have sex and that was already there. And I was so angry and I wanted to get her back. So I went on, I told her I did cheat on her cause I was angry. I didn't have the heart to tell her that the reason why there was crumpled up Kleenex was cause I was jerking off.

That only happens after we have sex. Like how self centered you have to be. Like this experience I had, it's the only time that's ever happened. Yeah. Yeah. I wipe up cum with the tissues. With the tissues. What other situation could I not be cheating where I also have to wipe up cum? Every other night. Either I have discharge randomly that I'm care control or?

Every night of my life since I was 13. Or every night and sometimes lunch. Yeah, and then we had five more nights, five more days and nights on vacation. We broke up the first night and we were just driving around not talking. Oh, you should just be like, I'll see you in four days. I'll look for the flight home.

Yeah, I should. I didn't have the money. We both didn't have the money. We both had to stay there. So reminds me of season three, episode maybe six of Sex and the City where the angry lesbian, the redhead, Carrie. Carrie, no, not Carrie. RFK. Not redhead, Carrie.

Carrie, no, not Carrie. What's RFK? RFK's wife. No, she's in curb enthusiasm. Oh, you're right. Yeah, Miranda, Miranda. Miranda's married to a politician. Miranda was helping run SAG, maybe that's what you mean. But maybe.

Oh, I could be, okay. I'm probably wrong But In the city Married to a marriage in real life. Let's see Activated Christopher Maranoni. Oh an activist no, but she, but then when she was dating that guy Steve, the fucking dork, the soft boy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what were we talking about?

I wasn't Steve! Yeah, in this situation you were. No. Or maybe you were Miranda. I'm a bad boy. What were you just talking about? What were you just talking about? The cum?

She was like, the Kleenex. They broke up, and the problem with breaking up in New York is you also have lost your roommate and you can't just find another place. That's right. Yeah, you're on vacation with this girl. It's like, oh, I'm broke. Well, we're stuck on vacation.

We were going. We rented, we got around by a smart car, convertible smart car. It's just this little clown car. We're just like not talking. Angry on vacation is such a great, I wanna do like one of their old blogs, and it was ohhappydads.com,

and it was just like fathers in a terrible mood in like luxurious places, you know, like in Hawaii. It's like fucking come on! Just like screaming in tropics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my dad. We were kids, we had a timeshare in Quebec City. My parents traded it for a canal boat

in the English canal system. And my dad was the pilot and it rained the whole time and he had to steer from outside. We bought him a pilot hat, a sailor cap. Steer in the rain. So it was me, I was like 18, my middle-aged parents and my one severely autistic brother stuck on like a tiny houseboat for a week.

It was the worst. It was just the worst. My mom would be like, check up on your father. We'd open up the hatch. He'd just be like, ah. Just, just cold rain in his face. His little captain's hat. It's not even his normal work.

No. He's like, I'm enjoying it. Ah, Christ. And they didn't teach us how to like do the locks or teach us how to like drive it properly. So we'd always get stuck and then people would yell at us because we'd cause traffic. I was like, fucking shut up. My dad would be like. Look at Ben. drive it properly so we'd always get stuck and then people would yell at us because we'd cause traffic.

Shut up. My dad would be like. Look at the pen. Jesus Christ. Cram. My brother would be sitting on the bow just like freaking out. What'd you do while you were in Hungary?

What'd you get into? I would just, I would drink a lot. How were the bars? The bars were really cool. There were some really cool bars. I finally figured out like the cool zones. There was a couple guys, a couple people I worked with that were kind of cool.

It took me a while to get to know them and they were kind of my age, but. Yeah, if you're staying in a town, imagine staying in New York and you're staying in Times Square, which a lot of people do, or Midtown, and you're like, oh cool, where's it to go out? And you're like, oh, you gotta leave this whole neighborhood. This is not where anybody cool hangs out.

Yeah, and it took me a while to figure out, but then there was some really cool stuff, like kinda like, I would imagine 90s Berlin, early 2000s Berlin. Yeah, was it like anarchist vibes? Kinda just grimy, underground. I remember there was a barge that was a dance club, a barge on the Danube. That was like a cool multi-level dance club and the barge was like rotting.

Oh, it was so cool. Wow. Yeah. Was it, um, so like in Berlin it's, you really see the shadow of the, of the iron curtain. Yeah, there you definitely do. There's bullets everywhere from the 1956 revolution cause they tried to like kick out the communists in curtain. Yeah, there you definitely do. There's bullets everywhere from the 1956 revolution because they tried to like kick out the communists in 56. So after World War II, after the Nazis got kicked out, so the Nazis forcibly invaded and they kicked out the Russians.

And then the Russians came back after World War II, so 1945. And then 1956, there was, you know, it's right by Austria, it's like very close to democracy. It's like if Philly was democratic and New York wasn't, you know, so it's like they, there was enough. They tried to like push them out and there was was bullets everywhere, bullet holes everywhere in my neighborhood from that

revolution and World War II. There was relics everywhere. What's your vibe there when you're seeing that stuff? Was it cool or you're just like meh? Well I love history. I have a degree. I have basically a university degree in World War II. So I love that.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's history speaking on the streets there. Yeah, man. They, it was, it was, it was super cool. And also Budapest is like one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Yeah. Look at the, just Google Budapest and go just do images. You're probably going to see the parliament on the Danube. Which is this one? Those are the baths. Those are Roman baths. This big thing?

That's the parliament on the Danube. But on the left is Roman baths. They have hot springs. Natural hot springs? Yes. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's all outdoors.

That's Ozzy. Is there a big bath culture there? Throwing a bath? Yeah. There is. There's a big bath culture there. And then- Look how communal that is too.

Yeah, we've got old dudes playing chess in water. No way. It's so cool dude. It's like way, way cooler than Prague and cheaper. What's cheaper than Prague? Dude yeah. Prague is cheap. Prague is not cheap in the tourist area.

You have to go like 10 blocks away and it's cheap. And also nobody from the Czech Republic visits and uses all the tourist stuff. In Budapest, like you walk around like all the touristy stuff, and you hear Hungarian. It's like a park to them. They still get to use it. I was just talking about Ian Sterling,

where like Tokyo is sure it's stuff for tourists, but it's like not made for tourists. Like you can join us Tokyo people, but we're not gonna come to you. That's what I love about New York. It's like go to the subway and try and figure it out. There's no instructions. The map is like a bunch of spaghetti on a map. Where you're like, I heard McSorley's is like the oldest

bar and you're like, sure, but it's mostly New Yorkers in there. It's not like, you know how a lot of places you go and it's like, there's nothing but tourists here. Yep. What's in this, what's in the house there? I think they got- Like changing areas?

They got changing areas and they got like cold baths and steam baths or probably like saunas and stuff like that. And massage tables, a lot of massaging going on there. I think it gets pretty gay on Sundays, I remember. It was pretty- Bro, the hot bath I go to, they have like male only days. Yeah. For the Hasidic Jews and not have to see topless women.

But, and then when you go, it's like, oh, it's just gay Hasidic Jews. And other gays. I like this guy in this box, cause he's like, he's working, right? But he's gonna be cold. So they put him in a fucking box. Am I reading into it?

I guess it might be winter, yeah, it might be winter. They have, the winter is, I would say the climate is very similar to New York. They have a long hot summer, and then it's like, it's cold in the winter. I'm interesting. Yeah. Yeah. What else? What else was there to do there? Um, was this chick there? Yeah. Francine. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Like what's kind of stuff? What'd you get into besides the work stuff? I saw concerts. I, uh,

I worked a lot. I worked a lot. I just basically worked for the weekend. After work day, I was exhausted. And then on the weekend I would like, I would drink very hard with my friends on school. That's like, so when I say that do people take it, so it's like, we were supposed to see these sites, but I'm like, no, no. Like if you're visiting New York, it's like, yeah, I drink upstairs at the cellar for an hour and a half. I really enjoyed taking the streetcar, seeing my girlfriend at the time.

I really enjoyed, like, they have these little, literally like a hole in the wall, like, counter, where, like, in Paris, you just lean against a counter and you drink an espresso. And in Hungary, it's a sausage with mustard. It's just a bunch of men lined up eating sausage with mustard with like a piece of bread. It was awesome. They had just had, they had a bunch of music festivals, like good music festivals, that the food was really good. Music festival summertime stuff? Yeah, They had one called the Island.

I think it's called Seagate festival. It means Island. And, uh, it's like their central park is an Island in the middle of the Danube. I just spell Seagate. S Z I G E T. Seagate festival. Wow. And I saw somebody big. Oh, I saw corn there. No. Yeah. I got swept away. I was like, let me see this corn. Yeah, it's a big fucking, it's a big crowd. Who do they have this year? The guy spread, like, they take off the cloak from the mic with the ghoul on it, and everyone's just standing still. And I'd never seen corn.

I saw him watching TV. And then the guy goes, takes his pick out and goes, first strum, he goes, and then I just got swept in a mosh pit and I was like, I'm gonna go get some more. And then I was like, I'm gonna go get some more. And then I was like, I'm gonna go get Korn. And then the guy goes, takes his pick out and goes, first strum, he goes, and then I just got swept in a mosh pit

and I couldn't get it. I was like, ah! Yeah. Dude, I went to see Weezer yesterday. Yo, Weezer, did the Blue Album. Oh, they did just the Blue Album? No, so you like music if you go to this shit. So I don't know, have you ever seen somebody

do their seminal album? Okay, so I saw Cure at- I haven't, but I just said yes. Okay. But I understand what you mean. At Glastonbury did it. Beach Boys in Iceland did Pet Sounds. You saw those?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I saw both those. Wow. They have other ones. Yeah, my promoter was the Beach Boys promoter and Bieber's promoter. He was making far less money off me.

But they were like, if you wanna go to these shows, we can just go. So I went with R.E.L. Jarn to both of them. Yeah. Is this Outback? Some European thing. I think it's like different for whatever. They did the whole Pet Sounds

and then they just did the hits like, Surfing USA and shit like that. It was great, Cry and Punch. But they both did the same way where they play the whole album, the Cure of Glastonbury finished Disintegration, it's an hour, they have an hour and a half set, they go, the next half hour will be pure Glastonbury,

and then it's like, Boys Don't Cry, and all dance hits and stuff. But that's the thing, they open with the album. But then Weezer did it different. I loved it. They did a bunch of, they had some theme stuff, but like dork stuff. But like, they started with all their hits from over the years. Had a little sketch for each one. It's like, I have to go to a tailor in Pinkerton to get this, my sweater. And then they played a couple songs off Pinkerton, the Hashpipe, they pretty much told you,

hey, you might have forgotten how big we are. Let me remind you and now we're gonna play Blue. I've been to a couple concerts, in like festivals where you're like, ah, let me check out this big one. I'm here to see this other band, this cool band, but let me check out this famous, and then they just play like 30 hits.

And you're like, oh yeah. Oh right. Oh right, man, they're a part of my childhood. Yeah, you forget if they just play the hits. Don't try to play them just, you're winning people over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when they finally got to My Name is Jonas,

it was already an hour in, 45 minutes in, and then it was like, it's so strong, it's like, my name is Jonas, and it was like, yes! They forgot. Yeah, and it was like, yeah, it's like, my name is, dun, dun, dun, dun, and it was like, yes! They forgot. Yeah, and it was like, yeah, it's like, okay, different song, the visuals were great, and man, it was so fucking, but that was the right way, and then they finished with the last song in Jonas,

I mean, Blue Album, and it was like, and man, what a show. Great, that's showmanship. Showmanship. I saw the Rolling Stones a couple months ago at SoFi in LA, and I had held off not seeing them, because I don't want to see their, I seeing them because I don't want to see their, I was like I don't want to see it, that's not the Rolling Stones.

But I gotta- But it's not like you're not seeing the full band, that's as good as it's gonna be. They're 70% of what they were in 1969, I swear. They're still good. I like crossing bands off a list now where it's like I've never seen them, they're gonna stop touring soon.

I may as well just, I know it's not as good as seeing the White Stripes in 2002, but still. Let me see. I saw them in 2005 in Serbia at this music festival. Wow. In a castle. Were they big then or just getting started? They were huge.

Okay. I mean enough for a boy from Ottawa to be like, holy crow, I'm gonna see the white stripes. Me and Bobby Lee were gonna go see them at think of it like Cat Club or Whiskey a Gogo or something. They were just, but then like the blog, it wasn't as bad as now, but the blog world had heard of them.

They were like, oh cool, this is a cool, hip new band we should see. And it's like, words out dude. It's all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has Bobby Lee ever seen the Bobby Lee's? What? You never heard of this band, the Bobby Lee ever seen the Bobby Lee's What you never heard of this band the Bobby Lee's No, yeah, they're kind of they're getting big and like the all like the garage rock scene. What? Yeah, they're good

They're good at Sperry Park, New Jersey Friday, November 17th. They're coming up Yeah, are they are good. Are they named after Bobby Lee? They must have to be yeah They're good, yeah, I have a couple other songs saved on like my Spotify like Really yeah, I Got you he must have heard of them I could see I could see him not though It's like that another good band cherry glazer. You know them. Yeah, I've heard of them They're named after the NPR host cherry glazer I'm not though. It's like that, another good band, Cherry Glazer, you know them? Yeah, I've heard of them. They're named after the NPR host, Cherry Glazer.

Really? Yeah. It's like, I think these LA bands, they just... Interesting. I mean, it is a cool hip band. Shows, no shows? What kind of website is this? What kind of website is this? What kind of website is this?

This is terrible. That's a terrible website. It looks like my website. Merch. Okay, they got some merch. No shows coming up, huh? You just looked them up and you said they're coming to Asbury Park.

I know, so why don't they have it on their fucking Bellevue vinyl? Oh, that's Bobby Lee in it, right there. With the lead singer. I didn't have my glasses on. I I was like I guess he dyed his hair About it says Asbury Park, New Jersey, but then you click on it and it's nowhere I don't know. Yeah. I know you don't know you're of no help. Here he goes. I've talked to them band name has nothing to do with me What? Here he goes. I've talked to them band name has nothing to do with me what

What that's crazy What Okay, that's quite that's crazy Bobby Lee I I he very nice guy. I'm I met him in Toronto when I was exiled up there after I got deported from America. I was living in Toronto and we were hanging out. There are certain moments in my life, touch points in my life where I'm like, I think I might have high functioning autism. Yeah, I think you do.

Thank you. Because he was like, look at my girlfriend. Bobby said that? Yeah, he was like, look how hot she is. And I'm like. She was hot. She's very hot. She's still hot, but she's not his girlfriend, yeah?

Yeah, I know. And I go, it's like one of these times in your life, you're like, why the hell would I ever say this? And I go, because he's like famous. And I go, do you ever worry that people are like, are with you just because you're famous? Hold on, hold on, let me think about Bobby Lee could have reacted,

I've known him for a long time. I could see that the options are, just being honest and knowing that's just an honest question, like yeah, you know, there's some people are, but you know, overall you pick your friends. No, 80% it's, dude, you're way out of line. How dare you say that?

That isn't what he said, but that was his look, and that was his attitude, and the, I was about to move to LA, and I was like, this'll be good, Bobby'll help me. It was all over. Yeah, it was all over. It was all over. I'm not the best networker.

I'm not a good climber, I'll tell you that. But Bobby's a nice guy. Very funny comic. Bobby Lee's are done. Bobby Lee's announced on social media they are calling it quits. At least by the time they hit one of the digital music industry. Yes, I remember because it's about Ticketmaster and Live Nation and all that stuff. They're taking money from their merch.

And they're like, we can't make our money off our merch anymore? How are we supposed to, I mean if you're a comic, it's tough and they're like, have to split it four ways now. So there's like no room for the middle bands anymore. That's, well that, you know, that's why like, band shirts are like 50 bucks for a t-shirt, 45 bucks for a t-shirt.

They're getting $20 out of that. Maybe. Yeah. Because the shirt itself cost 10. And then you've got to give this much to them so they're like, with the amount you want, and to get a guy there to work it, it's like, if you sell it for 25, you'll lose five.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just get it off the website. Tell Bobby Graham says hi, see what he says. Okay. It was just a random name, here's what he said, it was just a random name they thought of. It was before I had a name, I guess. I don't really know.

He had a name. He's had a name for 20 years. Yeah, Matt TV. They're like a five year old band. Okay. He'll be like, he'll be like, he'll write like, he'll be like, he'll write it right back. Okay.

Oh, and he, you know what he did to me once at the store? What? He goes, um, there's like that young manager that used to hang out there and started to, I forget his name, but he started to do really well and get promoted. And he really liked, he really liked the band Hootie and the Blowfish. Was this Eaglet? No, no, no. Okay. This is some manager, I forget his name.

I probably should know his name. Nice guy. Nice guy. He really liked Hootie and the Blowfish. And then he goes, Bobby goes, uh, hey man, hey Graham, how's it going? Hey, what do you think about the band Hootie and the Blowfish? And I go, they suck. And he goes, Hey, this is a John, he's a manager, blah, blah, blah.

He loves Hootie and the Blowfish. He just went to go see a concert. Best case you're like, no, I like them. They're OK. For God's sakes, you got a Spider-Man. Would not fall for that. So they broke up because they can't make any money. Yeah. Wow, interesting.

Well, here's February 2024. They don't know what to do with them. I heard comedy clubs are starting to do that. No, take money off merch? Or starting to jack prices up. A comedian was telling me last night. Sounds true so far. They were like, I'm trying to set my tickets at 35,

and now the tickets are 42, and I go, why? And they go, well, because they just added a $7 surcharge, because they can't. Surcharge, and now this new thing is. It's like it's your ticketing system. Facility P, and they own the ticketing system. They own the ticketing system. So they're not even using the Live Nation thing, like Robin is like nation thing like Robin is like so if here's how it works everybody at

home yeah the comic makes either a straight amount early on 1500 usually to start yeah a week and then at some point you get a door deal yeah get 40% of tickets after the expenses so let's say the tickets are 20 bucks and let's say you're getting 50% yeah so that's 10 bucks in your pocket for every ticket sold after expenses so they have 5,000 expense whatever it is to keep the lights on to get your flight out there sure let's call those a wash but really now you're making instead of 10 bucks tickets since we got to get the first 5,000 of them you're making nine a ticket yeah and now so it's like, whatever, 45%.

And now they add a facility fee and a whatever fee. So the $20 tickets are 27, but you make 10 after the first 5,000. So you're not making 50%. You're making it like 30%. And it's like, well, they're just, oh, I hate this, so fucking crooked. I hate it.

I mean, and you're like, at the big venues, you understand it, like there's nothing I can do, Pearl Jam lost. But like. They're really finagling extra money. Yeah. Why can't they afford to keep making music, damn. Yeah, anyway, they're good, they're a good band.

You know, go to their. Tell me more about Hungary and Budapest. Well, I. What else was the food like? There was a lot of meat, goulash is from there. Yeah, hungar, Romania, which is gotta be right nearby, right? A lot of paprika, paprika's on everything. Interesting.

They had a good art scene. I was, every Friday, my company would take us out for free appetizers and drinks, because it was small enough at that point. And then it was right after I'd kind of figured out, this is like halfway through my contract, towards the end maybe, and I was sitting, I got seated beside my boss and I was like, this is trouble.

I'm gonna get pretty loose with the lips in about three beers. Sure enough, I sit after three beers, I'm like, you know, how do you feel about what we're doing here? And then he is... The war profiting. He's like a... I'm sure right now he's like super, super far right wing, pro, like, pro-Viktor Orban probably, like, you know, small government, let corporations run everything,

whatever, fine. So he's like, he couldn't wait for this, probably. Some of this fucking kid straight out of university, you know, this college kid. But he thinks that I'm just some idiot who doesn't know anything about history. I know a lot. He goes, let me tell you't know anything about history. I know a lot. Especially back then, I've forgotten a lot.

I've forgotten more than I have ever known. And so he, which makes no sense what I just said, but don't think about it too much. I mean, whatever. Yeah, but anyway, so we just start getting into it. I call him a war profiteer. But by the way, also, so are you. You're literally making money off this.

100% I am. Yeah, yeah. 100%, 100%. Yeah. But I stopped, so what I did is I stopped working hard, you see, so instead of, I'm putting stuff in the gears here. I'm hurting the cogs. I'm not hurting them at all.

They just put me on a different desk and gave me some bullshit job after that where I had to fill trucks on the way back. So we had trucks, we'd pay these drivers a lot of money to drive from Baghdad International Airport. Well, they would go from Turkey into Iraq. We would go down, we were shipping stuff literally from Germany and then we'd drive down to Turkey and then go into Iraq or we'd

fly in from Tashkent and Turkmekist or where's Tashkent? Like over here somewhere. And fly into Kuwait and then bus them in. And then anyway, so we'd have these drivers and they would, my job was to, on the way back, after they dropped off their load, try and pick up loads on the way back to like Germany. So they would have stuff on the way back, which is like an impossible job, so it was fine. So I didn't do anything.

But that was my punishment. But anyway, we have these, one fun story is like an impossible job, so it was fine. Yeah, but so I didn't do anything, but that was my punishment But anyway, they we have these one fun story is like they had this like highway between the green zone in Baghdad which was like American run safe. There's like a KFC in there and stuff like that and that's like downtown Baghdad and then everything else is chaos at this point. And then a highway. What year is this? 2005. So a height of the war.

The war started in 2003. It's still, George Bush, he's sat, he stood on the aircraft carrier that said victory at this point, but it's not victory, it's like crazy still. And then the other safe place is this walled city inside. And if you had to stay, you'd stay for weeks in one place. And then in order to get back out for R&R, back to Budapest, to our company, you would have to go on something called the Rhino bus, the rhinoceros bus.

And the rhinoceros bus was an armored bus and it would travel with helicopters on either side to protect it, because people would come out with bazookas and try and shoot at it and stuff. And the Rhino bus would leave at different times so they couldn't time, the insurgents couldn't time when it was coming.

And so you had to keep a go bag by your door. And then people would knock on your door at six in the morning, they'd tell you, we're gonna come sometime in these next three days. So keep a go bag. And they'd knock on your door and be like, a go bag. And they'd be like, Rhino Bus, Rhino Bus, Rhino Bus.

And if you missed it, if you slept in, cause you're hung over, you gotta wait another two weeks for the Rhino Bus. No. So. So you just scream, get up, go. Rhino bus. And you'd run, get, grab your bag. You'd grab your bag, you'd grab your bag, run on the Rhino bus, you'd be like, oh, be like hungover or whatever. And now you're going, you leave the walls and now you have like an hour trip to Baghdad International Airport. and there's helicopters on either side of the Rhino bus and people

are, you know, sometimes nobody shoots at you, sometimes they do and one guy was like a helicopter got shot, it went down and our Rhino bus got disabled and we had to run the last like a hundred meters into the walls of the Baghdad International Airport. They open up the gates. Like get in there, get in there, go. Like a castle dude. It's just war zone outside? Yeah.

And so these bus drivers that we paid were like getting a lot of money because they were like having to drive in there and drop off like comic books and nails and rebar and stuff. There lies for fucking Betty and Veronica's. To keep Betty and Veronica. Couldn't get me an Archie? You gotta get me a side version?

You gotta keep these kids happy. They're fighting a war. You have to placate the children. Yeah. Yeah. And then they would sleep in these shipping containers. They're really kids. In Baghdad International Airport. They're really kids in 19 year olds.

They couldn't even get to a bar in here. Yeah. They're two years away from getting into a bar in New York. Three. Three. And then they'd be like, the dudes that we would work with would be sleeping in shipping containers

at Baghdad International Airport. And then they'd be like, the insurgents, what they do is they would take mortars and put like a just a mortar and fire it randomly over the walls and then run under a tree because there were satellites and if you stayed too long they'd triangulate you and incinerate you from space. They would like, they would like from, something would come get you like from, they would like shoot at you. So they would, they didn would come get you like from, they would like shoot at you. So they didn't have time to aim.

So they would just run out from under a tree and go, funk, and run back. And so these random bombs are going off around you and you're living in a shipping container. And you'd be like, and I would be like, how's that? And they'd be like, well, we know by the sound if it's gonna be close or not, of it being in the air because we're so used to it. How long do they have to sound if it's gonna be close or not, of it being in the air, because we're so used to it.

How long do they have to decide if it's gonna be close? I don't know, like, fucking, I don't know, like 10 seconds? Yeah, that's not enough time to really do any, it's not like you got a week to prepare. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, that's gonna be, oh, it's here. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, I mean, it's crazy, we paid them a lot. They tried to get me to go to Kuwait.

My roommate went to Kuwait, he took it. He got extra money and it was great. I had the whole apartment to myself. Kuwaiti food is, do you know what it's like? No. No one does. I don't know anything about it. Do you like it?

I don't know anything about it. No. I did go to a Palestinian restaurant, a lot of Israeli food. Hmm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Palestinian restaurant a lot of Israeli food They got the Israeli falafel there they do Interesting Yeah, go the food the Budapest is great go anywhere else in Hungary. Do you go around? Yeah, I went to they had this big lake This big it's like they're like Hamptons. This one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's really, really beautiful. It's like they're like Como kind of thing. And it, yeah. What is it, just like a resorty kind of thing? Yeah, it's like Balaton. Like Balaton, yeah, yeah, that's what it was called. Damn.

It's like all wine stuff. Oh wow, that reminds me of Atatlan. And then I took a... yeah, that's what it was called. Damn. It's like all wine stuff. Wow, that reminds me of Atitlan. And then I took a... Wow, it's gorgeous. It's really gorgeous. It's really gorgeous. Yeah.

It's like some crazy... They got crazy fish there because it's very deep or something. Hungarians are very interesting because they used to be... Their parliament is huge because it used to be the head of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Which I think also used to be the head of the Holy Roman Empire, I think. Anyway, but they have this complex. Every time you go to a Hungarian's house,

they had a map of what the empire used to be. And they go, look what we used to be. Look what they took from us. It was the first thing they'll say. Look what they took from us. And there used to be this big empire. Now there's this little tiny country. And, um.

You're Austro-Hungary, so it was like all that, and probably all the way down here. All the way down to Romania, all parts of Turkey, parts of Ukraine. It took months, it wasn't yours, I mean. And then they took, I don't know who they, and then, so they're very pessimistic. This is Hungarians to a T.

When you go to their subway, when you go down, there was a clock telling you, not when the next train was coming, it was telling you when the last train left. So you could just be like, oh, I missed it. Yeah, I'd say it's a trick. Oh, I just missed it, wow. You're like, like, oh alright. That's crazy. That's so disappointing. If you get down to the subway, New York subway and you're like no train. You're like, oh last one left a minute ago. If you see it go out you know you just missed it. But I mean you're hoping for like, alright it's been 15 minutes the next one should be here soon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, wild. Yeah. And you never just start getting laid at all

before you left? Oh, I had that, Just that one. That stewardess, yeah. But nobody else. I had, I, Who's strapping young Canadian? I, you know, I,

took me a while, took me a couple years, took me till my mid-twenties till I really sort of, Knew what you were doing. Could figure out to get out of my own way. I got sent to boot camp in Saskatchewan, an all-boys boot camp in high school, and I think it kind of delayed me a couple years. I wasn't around a lot of women.

It was a lot of just fighting and farts. It's always with religion, then when you get out, you're like, it's almost like, your friends who know how to get laid, like dude, you're there, just go home with her. And you're like, no, no, I don't know how to, it's like, oh, you pitched seven strong against, and you don't know how to just close this out.

Same, yes, exactly. It's an easy close. Exactly. You're up five runs. Yes, and you just can't get out of your own way. Yeah. Yeah. I think also, like, I like I was like pretty good looking

when I was 24. Yeah, you're pretty good looking. And I think that also, I was like, why don't they just sleeping with me? Because everyone's like, you're so good looking. I was like, all right, suck my dick. All right, suck it. You have to like talk to people.

So when did you leave? When did you decide to leave and how'd you get out? How was the process of leaving? How long were you there for total? I was there, I was there for a year. Unanio. And then I took the Orient Express and went down to Turkey. And I stopped. How was that?

I stopped in Sarajevo where they had the war and they had the, they had the, they had the, in former Yugoslavia. It goes to the Orient, is that why they call it the Orient Express? Yeah, it goes to Turkey. So Turkey is the first, it's the first country in Asia. So when you cross the Bosphorus Canal,

you go from, Turkey touches Europe and is also in Asia. So when you cross the canal there, you go into Istanbul. The canal's on Istanbul? Yeah, Istanbul. And they have a bridge going over it where the word, where the card game bridge was invented. Ah, what? And then-

In fact. That's right. And then they, you know, so I went, I wanted to go to Turkey. But I went to Sarajevo and they had, it's the only place in the world because they had the Civil War there and they also had the Olympics there. So you see all the Olympic rings

with bullet holes in it and stuff. They had the 84 Winter Olympics, bullet holes everywhere. Because the war came afterwards. War came in like 92 or something. And then again in 2000, they had a lot of ethnic cleansing and stuff. But it's the only place in the world where they do not like Canadians

because the Canadians were the head of the United Nations and wouldn't let them defend themselves. And the Serbians just bombed them from the hills and they had to smuggle in guns. And I hired a guy at the train station to take me on a tour. And he took me to the general's backyard and I met the general, the guy who's in charge of defending Sarajevo, and he hated me because I was Canadian, and he wouldn't let me have a peach from his peach garden. And then he goes. Bro, you're not getting back a can for this.

He goes, why did I help, why do I hate you? And I was like, well, I told him why, because I knew the history, or what we did wrong as Canadians and stuff, and he was like, you can have a peach. Because you're willing to admit it. Yeah. All you wanted is a recognition. Yeah. I had a member at TSA would sometimes just be wildly changing their rules all the time. Yeah. And one time the guy was like they were just like they start like in a few airports they were like they take your

ID like state your name like what do you mean state my name why is that a new thing it's not the hardest thing we're like yeah who invented this one yeah what if I'm mute yeah I can't fly that's my ID right what I have to say and you don't think if I stole someone's ID I wouldn't also learn how to pronounce it yeah at least and how do you know how to pronounce it yeah yeah I would know the pronounce as well as you yeah and then I was I was just like always being a punk a bitch to them and then I was like why why why did I just say my name it goes because the guy in charge of this TSA at this airport is power hungry and he decided to add a new rule and I was like are you Shafir? Yeah I like you. Yeah I like you. So you're telling me that the guy with a beard and a clean shaven face is a contrarian. So what was

the process going home? How hard was it to discover about America or Canada leaving? It was tough going home because I immediately had to go from that like crazy exciting life to selling suits. Wow. I had two part-time jobs, delivering sandwiches and selling suits and I stayed with my parents. I was like living with my parents in Ottawa.

I was trying to save money to go to Toronto to start comedy. What a different vibe, being on your own in a crazy foreign country to being like kind of lame in your town, staying with your parents. It's so lame and it's cold and gray and you know. Yeah, it was, my mom was like, you gave up the job in Prague

to deliver sandwiches. Thanks for the support, mom. And mess up people's suits. And I was like, I don't know, I can't do that. I can't work in an office, I just can't. So just because it was an office. Couldn't do it. It seems like a dream job,

you're like it's still under fucking neon lights. Yes. Or not neon, but whatever they are, those halogen lights. 50 hours a week are the worst. And I was like, if I can't do this in Budapest, then I can't do it at home. At least you got out, I went to a WNBA game, met some people, cause I know someone who works

in like the W agent world. You know, and so we're talking to someone. The W, the women's agent world? Yeah, yeah, women's sports. You know what she said? Because she worked in the male sports for a while. Because when you work in women's sports, you pay for a lot less abortions.

Because one, it's them getting pregnant, two, they're all half lesbian, so it's like. Yeah, yeah. In football, they're like, hey, get this girl cleaned. Wow well and you just have to do it what does that have to do with me working in an office so I asked this lady she played in Turkey for a while oh yeah she played basketball in Turkey and Russia and I was like how was Turkey what you do she goes I mean you know we

got to Europe for one we had like away games and stuff I'm like but I mean did you get around Turkey and so she goes goes, yeah, and I just kind of practiced, went back to my place. Sounds like a little, at least you went out some. I went out a lot. I made friends there, I went out a lot. I practiced with the Hungarian basketball team. Semi-pro basketball team, and I got to know those guys,

and they took me out and stuff, and I mean that my girlfriend was a local. Did you learn the language at all? Or did you not need to? It's a very hard language. They think that an Asian tribe stopped there and also kept going to Finland and then they both got isolated

because they're both similar languages and they're not like anything surrounding them. It's not a Slavic language. Wow. They just dropped off some words and kept going? Yeah. Well, they just stayed there and started talking to each other and didn't talk to anybody else. So like Finland is close. Finland is, there's like four countries in between Finland and Hungary. Yeah. Maybe more. Oh there. And but all the countries in the middle have different languages.

But those two countries have similar languages. They say, they have a lot of similar traits. What the fuck's Finland? Upper left. Finland's up there. Oh damn. So that's far, far. Oh yeah.

Yeah. So they both say last name first, which only happens in Asia. In Asia, yeah. And they have a couple other things that they say. We don't really mess up about Hungary, what about their language, which took me a while to figure out, is hello is see ya, and goodbye is hello.

Oh really? Yeah. Wow, that's tough, that's tough. What? That's tough. Hello! And they just leave? You're like, huh?

They walk in and they go, see ya. You're like, what is going on? You ever scuba dive? Yeah, it was awesome. You know how when it's like, is everything fine? You give that. Because you give that, that means you wanna go up and you have to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You really should go this for up. That's true. It's like, come on, you know what this means. Almost everywhere. Most of us spend most of our life on land. Thanks. We're land people. I have some understanding of land land usage. We're people. Dude that sounds like a

fucking great trip to be honest. It was a year in Hungary sounds fucking amazing. It was great. I started comedy a little late but those years were incredible. I would trade them. The freedom you have of not having a career yet. Yeah. Being able to like, just delaying, but you're not like stopping something in the middle. No, yeah. It's pretty cool.

Yeah, it was great. I think I learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself anyway. Yeah, that's a thing. You learn about yourself in those places. I didn't get stuck in a corporate job and then start comedy when I was 32, which was what was going to happen to me in Ottawa.

I would like. Yeah divorced, started comedy, moved to Toronto, everyone hated me. Maybe be a yucks headliner. Yeah, yeah. Just like talk to Breslin about, come on man, you can use me in three months. Come on, send me to, send me to, send me to Guelph, please.

It's Guelph, is that how you thought of it? I don't even know, that's too deep. Cut. Yeah, it's just the worst place imaginable you're trying to get to. Your dream is to go to Guelph. 75 mile radius plays too, where you can't play within 75 miles.

You're like, oh, but fuck it, at a casino somewhere? I can't play 70 miles away at an actual... Yeah, it's a nightmare. Well, was there anything else about Hungary you wanna say? Cause I have random questions to know about that. No, fire away, I did it all. So it's always asked, what place are they thinking about? Like what's calling them?

And then also what travel, just general travel tips you have. And also, honestly, what you would tell somebody who's going too hungry, like you should pack one of these, you should not do this. So what's the first question? What country's calling you? Where do you wanna go?

I wanna go to Vietnam. Vietnam. Yeah, I wanna. You've never been? No, I've never been to Asia other than Turkey, which is not real Asia in my opinion. Israel's Asia. Is it?

Yeah. It's Africa. No it? Yeah. It's Africa. No, borderline. Yeah? Egypt starts out. Oh yeah, yeah, you're right. I mean you think obviously Saudi Arabia and Jordan. Middle East, Middle East.

Middle East, but that's not a continent. Yeah, you're right. I suppose you're right, I guess you win this one. It seems like we really should start here. Yeah. Then what is all this? Vietnam, why, What's Vietnam? What are you thinking about?

It's beautiful, and it's off the beaten path, but not too remote. It has enough of infrastructure for tourists where you're not going to be like, your head's not going to be cut off. Everything's safe, and it's cheap. Right. You can get in and like, OK, I got my witch about me.

Now I can go off. And you will feel like you're really going to a very, very different place. But also your head won't get cut off, which is great. That's the key. Very, very, to have an out of world experience, that's when you grow and that's when you learn about yourself and that's when you learn, you get inspired because you learn about other people's

culture and their thoughts on the world. And maybe you don't adopt them, but just the fact that you learn how somebody else thinks. But there is a possible other way. Yeah. Then you realize like, oh, my way is just one way. Yeah. And not the way.

Yeah. You can still have it as your way, but it's just one way. And you can still, you can also still think they're wrong. Right. You know. Yeah, I was cut back from Southeast Asia and Gavin McInnes, I saw him, and he was like.

I taught him how to do stand up. Really? Yeah, it's like, I have like the. I love Gavin. I don't. He's got some public stuff that I don't get involved with, but man to man, he's always been pretty cool. I don't get involved with the other stuff.

He was mean to me, but he fired me from Vice. Well, that's man to man, that's fine. That all allow. But he goes, what if they think of in Myanmar and Vietnam, what do they think of Americans? And I'm like, they don't. And he goes, oh, they got their own lives to worry about, their own government.

Why would they care about America? I mean, America's a pretty huge empire culturally. But generally, they're just like, I'm not thinking about that at all. It's too far away. That's what I'm excited about. Cause every place I've gone is like, I want the blue jeans, you know? And it's fun. I would be fun to just be like, we're not doing blue jeans. Yeah. You know,

I'm ex that's what that's next on my list. Somewhere I was out in Asia. I can't remember China or maybe Vietnam, somewhere, but like, where are you from? Cause they like, Scottish, Irish, Australian, American, they're like we can't tell the difference. It's just not here. And then where are you from like America? Like oh Schwarzenegger.

And I'm like no. But yeah. His exports are from here. They're doing what they do to us, or we do to them. Yeah. China like oh, the Mao. No, I'm Vietnamese. Yeah.

Like, oh. Kung Pao, huh? Yeah, dude, you'll love Vietnam. Yeah? Yeah. You've been all around there. But I only went Ho Chi Minh and then south. That's kind of where I got sick of backpackers.

They know about America and Vietnam, I'll tell you that. What? They know about America and Vietnam. Don't give a fuck about us anymore. Really? Yeah. China is who they care about now. All those holes?

OK. There's a lot of flipper arm people because of us American Vietnam. Don't give a fuck about us anymore. Really? Yeah, China is who they care about now. All those holes? Okay. There's a lot of flipper arm people because of us. Still being born birth defects, but they really, but like America's cool now, China's our fucking problem. Back then they liked China, hated America. It's all flipped, none of them give a fuck about America. They don't like China. They hate China, they keep trying to encroach.

But Hanoi's supposed to be real French influence, but I got sick of it and then went southwest to Chodok, because I was like, I just looked, I was like, where are there no white people in Vietnam? Oh yeah. And it was some small town in the southwest, on the Cambodia border. And it was just like, it was glorious.

Nothing to do there. Cool. Was the food good? Yeah, the pho, I didn't get into that much except a little in Hocheyman, Saigon, whatever, but the sandwiches, what are they called? Banh Mi. Damn, dude.

They've got the French bread, French influence. It's so fresh. The bread is so fresh, and there's just little stands everywhere. You just get it, go, and it's just like, God, refreshing, it's kind of light even for bread. It's great., God, refreshing, it's kind of light even for bread. It's great. And fried oysters everywhere,

and you see stuff that's like out, and you're like passing a market, and you just see out oysters, and you're like, this is gonna get me food poisoning, but I'm just, I'm gonna do it. And you're like, whatever. And then you didn't get food poisoning, it was great. Vietnamese coffee's so good.

Oh yeah, that is good. It gets you fucking jacked. Very sweet, right? Yeah, it's great. Vietnamese coffee's so good. Oh yeah, that is good. It gets you fucking jacked. Very sweet, right? Yeah, the condensed milk. Yeah, you'll love it. You got any plans to go or just calling you? No, I just got back from a big trip. Yeah.

I'm gonna chill. What about travel tips? One, for hungry, two, not a travel tip, but what should people know going into it? Like if I'm like, hey, I'm going next week, what do you got for me? Go to the baths. Go to the baths.

Go to the baths, you can drink in the baths, go to the baths, go up to Budapest, the Buda side, which is like the pretty side, it's like all the museums and stuff, but Pest is where all the action is. Pest is like the cool zone. Those are the two cities, it's Buda and Pest? Yeah, on either side all the action is. Pest is like the cool zone. Those are the two cities, it's Buddha and Pest? Yeah, on either side of the Danube.

Oh wow. Danube River snakes through it. Pest is the cool side. Buddha's like the, it's bougie, all the museums there. Bougie Pest. Yeah, that's right. There's a cool bat there. Oldest Roman bath, I think, is there.

But the bigger one, the one that we saw the video of, is in P is in pesh a lot of cool dive bars Wow eat yeah, they're their wine is decent their feet what eat you have to have goulash there you have to have Yeah, eat those little sausages from the windows and the subways the subways are good, street cars are good, they have a crazy festival in the summer, you would love this. And it's these like DJ floats, each float is a new DJ.

And you just party on the street and you can follow whatever float you want. So they're right off the water on the Danube? No, this is just down the main drag, it's like if Broadway was like a parade, it's a parade. But on the water under Daniel, but you know, this is just down the main drag It's like if Broadway was like I was water a parade. It's a parade but on the water Oh float like that float land float. Sorry. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah like a parade float as you dance along That's how carnival is. Yeah, you're just like I like this DJ. Let's stay with them Yeah, and then if you stop for a while another one comes and gets you

Yeah, you just it's just you can just stop there and wait for them to go by, and they just all have topless women dancing on them. Oh, I love topless women. And the thing about Hungary in general is most beautiful women I've ever seen and the ugliest men I've ever seen. Every man looks like a younger version of Mr. Clean, and every woman is gorgeous. you'd have no idea how these men's jeans create these beautiful women. And yeah it's it's it's it's they

they have a I mean Budapest is just it was an incredible incredible experience yeah I loved it. Yeah that sounds awesome. Yeah. I loved it. Damn, that sounds awesome. Yeah. What about general travel tips? General travel tips. Do not stay one day in a city and go to the next city or two days in a city. Pick a city, stay for four days. Stay for five days.

Become a regular at a bar or a restaurant. Do the city properly because you will not relax. You will bar or a restaurant. Do the city properly, because you will not relax. You will not have a vacation. You won't learn anything. You won't have any fun. You'll be stressed out. It's like a job ticking a box.

And, oh, I've been here. I've been here. I did that early on in my first like foray into traveling. And it's like, I wasn't having any fun. I was stressed out. I just did Rome for five days. People were like, five days? Wow, you're gonna go to Florence? It's like, I wasn't having any fun. I was stressed out. I just did Rome for five days. People were like, five days? Wow, you're gonna go to Florence?

I'm like, no. Rome is huge. Because the travel then becomes part of it. You're wasting days on travel. And also like, right, there's more to Rome. It's huge. We took a day trip to the beach. We took an hour long public transport,

like a metro north type style thing, or Long Island railroad type. But you stayed in Rome. But we went back to our Airbnb that night. It was an hour and we felt like we were in a different city altogether. And it was like a beautiful beach and everything. It was awesome. That's right.

You're almost like, hey, I know it's a country, but you're not going to a whole region. You're not going to like, I'm going to Southeast Asia. No, I'm going to Vietnam. No. While you're there, go to Cambodia and Thailand. I only have a week. You only have a week. You're not going to have fun.

Stay in one city. I'm going to go to America. I'm going to go to Seattle and Florida. You're like, I only have a week. You only have a week, you're not gonna have fun. It's like, I'm gonna go to America, I'm gonna go to Seattle and Florida. New York and Alaska. You're like, no, you're gonna have the worst time. What are you doing? Unless you're Australian, you can go like, well I'm going for two months, it's my vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh damn. That's my biggest one. And pack light, you're never gonna wear any of the things you pack. Just pack, you are going to wear, you're only gonna have one bathing suit that you're ever gonna wear, you're only gonna wear any of the things you pack. Just pack, you are going to wear, you're only gonna have one bathing suit that you're ever gonna wear. You're only gonna wear two, three pairs of pants.

Backlight rules, because it allows you, if you have a souvenir or something, room to bring it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then also like, It's the main, you're gonna have to carry it is the point. You're gonna have to carry it around. It means you're carrying it.

What I wouldn't do is if I go into a place, except for like, let's say I'm going on a long hiking trip or a ski trip where you need equipment. Yeah. Don't forget that, but if you're like, oh, and I have a bathing suit, I'm going to Rome. We might go, we might go, or Budapest, I might go to the bath, I need a bathing suit.

Don't buy it here, buy it there. It's not the 1950s with a travel check. You can get everything. You just buy it there. Yeah. Yeah. You can get everything there, and then you, whenever people are like, where'd you get that bathing suit? Budapest, actually. Yeah, yeah. You can get everything there and then you're, whenever people are like, where'd you get that bathing suit?

Like Budapest actually. Yeah, yeah. You got a story behind it. Exactly. And that's your regular bathing suit. Yeah, yeah. You wrote a book? Oh, this is your Edinburgh show.

It's my Edinburgh show. What is a big book he's in front of. I know, I was like, where is this? Pete and me. Hopefully on off-Broadway soon. Hopefully off-Broadway soon, yeah. Well guys, follow him on Instagram. Mr. Graham K Graham spelt like the cracker K a y like the letter. Yeah hilarious comic and hopefully you'll get a

You gotta get this more than 18,000. I know You're on the should be over 300 just based on talent and I'm not talking about like workmanship and stuff Yeah, I don't I'm not I'm not good with social media. Yeah, but I'm saying talent of comedy, you're a $300,000 follower person. That's really nice of you to say, thank you. I'm choosing to accept that as earnest. Yeah.

You're a good man. Did it sound sarcastic? No. Did you ever say something that sounds sarcastic? But my brain will be like, no one likes you. You gotta get that out of the way. I told somebody, I'm not even gonna say who, it was like, do you likes you. You gotta get that out of the way. I told somebody, I'm not gonna say who,

it was like, do you have one of the most underrated comics, he goes, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Who says I'm underrated? You don't think I'm rated? I'm like, oh fuck. I think you're great, and I don't think the world is aware. I love what you said, thank you for saying that.

Last podcast, you were like, you're one of those working comics that are just in New York doing it You're like a Mike Vecchione and that that was so nice. That was a nice compliment. Yeah Comics are always like what's that supposed to mean? It's like it means he's one of the greats and you're there just talent wise sometimes I think nobody knows I do comedy and then a younger comedian will be like dude I watch your stuff and blah blah blah. I'm like you're like, I'm like, it takes everything in my body not to go, really?

Yeah. Arthur C. Yeah. Nice, buddy, you got up there. I got up there. Got pretty, yeah, five in the morning. Climbed a mountain with a bunch of theater kids. It was fun though.

Oh, that's great. Dude, I went to, oh, let's leave with this, but I was up there, it was the last day of one of the fringes and Went up I brought plenty of joints I got high on mushrooms with Evan de Marie. Yep I don't know if he pronounces that way or not. De Marais, I think okay

Desmarais, I don't know but um, I haven't did De Marais and Another Canadian blocking right now with all the fucking, he lived in England for a while, he's got fucked up. He hosted Layton Live for the longest time. Oh, is he like 35-ish years old? He's been on the podcast. Red hair? Yeah, red hair.

Bobby or Bobby? No. What the fuck, it's this long COVID, I can't remember shit. God damn, now I gotta remember it. John Hastings? John Hastings, thank you. Yeah, good friend of mine, John Hastings. Oh, he rules.

His hands are like this. He's got some disease, he can't pick up an egg or something. He's got dyspraxia, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be walking with him, he'll just start bumping into you, and he's like six, five, 250 pounds. Like get away from me. The whole sidewalk, he's like I can't see,

I have dyspraxia. Yeah, so we all took mushrooms, he freaked out, he flipped out and he thought we were like, it was in a hidden reality show, we're taping him. And I realized, I was like, well where are the cameras? He goes, in every street light. And I'm like, I'm not gonna be able to get, that is where I put them.

And I'm like, we're not in a hidden camera show. He goes, wouldn't you say that though, if you were hosting one? And I was like, I'm not gonna be able to get, that is where I'd put him. And I'm like, we're not in a hidden camera show. He goes, wouldn't you say that though, if you were hosting one? And I was like, yeah, I would. I was like, he made a logic loop that I was like, you've sealed the loop. And then he just kept running away every time he tried to catch me and run away.

And for Evan, I was like, buddy, you gotta let him go. He's on his own journey. Yeah, he's a big guy. No one's gonna try and get him. Yeah, the next day I was like, how are you? I'm like, I'm good. Have you seen my phone? I'm like buddy No, your phone's gone. Yeah But anyway, we went up on top of Arthur seat and all these theater kids and like they're lying outfits and stuff from the last

Theater shows and they're like I was smoking a joint. They're like, oh, can I have some weed? And I had like six joints on me. I didn't need him. I was like, yeah, here's a joint tell everybody Americans are cool and I had like six joints on me. I didn't need them. I was like, here's a joint. Tell everybody Americans are cool. And he was like, okay. Good for you. Thanks, thanks.

Americans are cool. Americans are cool. Here's the thing. People will be like, America sucks. I'm like, what music do you listen to? How are you dressed right now? Yeah, if America sucks. You have to admit that.

You don't like The Beatles? At least half. You don't like Phil Collins? Yeah, it's like at least half of it is very cool. Yeah, yeah, what are you wearing, you asshole? And even the side you don't like has some cool stuff too. You know? There's always a positive. Even like, New York's dirty, I'm like, all right, sure, but that's what you're focused on?

There's best jazz in the world here. Anyway, alright, thanks buddy. I think that's it. Yeah, did we do go too long? Yeah, we went a little too long, but everyone subscribe. I'm cutting it now. Well, that's the episode everybody. I hope you enjoyed it.

I'm going to tell the story about Graham K that I forgot in the whatever. Also, don't forget, get your ubi trippin stickers and t-shirts available right now at rhfree.com brand new get the first batch made right now uh i saw the t-shirts that uh two people made pirate ones which i have no problem with um in providence showed up a nice couple and i was like wait where did you get those those look fucking sweet it's the stamp from the fucking backdrop that Abergut Aver made. The one who makes the Shroomfest shirts

that are coming soon. Shroomfest is July 6th, 7th, and 8th this year. If you don't know what that is, just do Mushrooms. July, no I'm sorry, September 6th, 7th, and 8th. The latest it's ever been, 6th, 7th, and 8th. At any point, 6th, 7th, or 8th. Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Go outside, I'd say go at night full moon in the northern hemisphere one time I was

hosting I believe Graham Kay went on I think it was newly back from COVID and I was doing an Ari and Friends show I had grandma because it's hilarious go see his show Pete and me at the Soho Playhouse July 9th through August 3rd. Get tickets at SohoPlayhouse.com. Use promo code Peter Parker for a discount just for the listeners of this podcast. Pete and me, it's available right now. And in Toronto on September 6th and oh, those pictures and Cincinnati, the Comedy Bar, love that place, and Cincinnati, Ohio, October 24th and 25th at Bombs Away, don't know that place. Love Comedy Bar, don't know Bombs Away.

Either way, go at grahamk.com. So anyway, he was on, he did some story, I'm not gonna say what, and there was some offensive material in there. We had this lady who was half representative of the group that would be offended. That's pretty broad. I like the way I said that. And this lady said, I take issue with what you said. Now in the story that Graham told, he was called this offensive thing. He's recounting a tale where he was accused of something. I think I went on afterwards and I said

that's the funniest thing I've ever heard is you being called this thing. I won't say what it is. I can't say what it is. It's not my joke. I think he might still be doing it. And I got for the first time, he was like, lady, it's a joke, they came at me with that. I'm sharing my pain of this terrible thing. I agree it's a terrible thing I'm coming at. And I for the first time in my life,

figured it out when someone comes up to you after a show. It's never good. It's never like, hey, even if it's like, hey, I enjoyed everything you said, but then you're overstepping. Get out of here. Just comment on the stuff you enjoyed. That's the whole America Sweetheart streaming

on Netflix now. That's the whole message. And I go, it was brilliant. I go, lady, you're right. She goes, what? I'm like, no, you're right. The way you said it, you're right. I'm just not? I'm like, no, you're right. The way you said it, you're right. I'm just not gonna do that anymore.

You got through to me. She was so ready to fight, she couldn't let it go. She's like, well, it was just bad. You don't, you shouldn't do that. I'm like, no, you know, I see it your way. I see it your way, you're right, I won't. Because, yeah, I mean, you shouldn't do it. I'm like, oh, no, no, I already said three times now.

I agree with you. I agree with you, I see it your way. You made a clear, good point. You weren't angry, she was. I'm like, oh no, I already said three times now. I agree with you. I agree with you. I see it your way. You made a clear good point. You weren't angry, she was. You didn't raise your voice, she did. And it got through to me. And I see it and I won't do it anymore.

One win for your team. I won't, I'm on your side now. I won't do that ever again. She couldn't let it go. And eventually I was like, hey lady, I'm on your side. It's never gonna happen again. I was wrong to do it, I'm on your side. It's never gonna happen again. I was wrong to do it. I see that now.

I didn't see it before, but because of this interaction, I now see it. You've converted me. She finally started to understand it. This guy's on my side now. I don't have to be angry, but I wanna be righteous. And this is stopping me from being righteous. that's the problem with liberals I like liberals are conservatives but liberals enjoy being righteous so they actually don't want to

convert anyone and actually now they think about it conservatives in the same way they need liberals to be the crazy ones they need a fucking trans woman to to crush a 100 meter dash they need, otherwise they got nothing to be mad about. They need it, desperately. I would like to tell you about Albie and Charlestown, West Virginia, July 12th. Get tickets right now at REchauffeur.com, my final road date. Also get these stickers, the six pack of stickers, 15 bucks on my website, REchauffeur.com. The UB Trippin' stickers, UB Trippin' t-shirts.

I finished the wall everybody. I got my final piece of mail that I opened up. I'm gonna read it to you. I finished the fuckin' just in time. Just in time. Shut down. By the way guys, how does it sound when I turn my head all the way this way? Oh right here. How does it sound when I turn my head all the way this on the lapel mic? What if I turn that way? Does it sound okay? Ari, I also put it with a three pack of Chick-fil-A gift cards

that I promptly gave away to black people. Ari, you just said you weren't gonna do those kind of jokes anymore. Oh yeah, I lied to her. Ari, I haven't seen the wall, so I don't know if you have any PHP up there yet. So small. I mean, look how much wasted space is on here.

I have 100 Piso note left over from when I went to, I don't know, something from my father's funeral several years ago. See, Cebu. I was gonna go there to get my divers license. Cebu, Cebu. Damn. Yeah, they said it's some of the best diving.

You can dive with whale sharks too. So, including a few free meals because everyone loves those, correct? Thanks for all the pods and content and something content over the years. All the best, Mike. Hey Mike, what? So small.

Anyway, I did, I put it up. Where's the Filipino one? It is... No. Is that it? Nah, that doesn't look like it. Could be this. I got Nigeria, Uganda, the central Ivory Coast I think, Old Mexico, Vietnam,

Canary Islands from Sarah Tolamache who went there. She's coming, is it next week? No. Yes? I think they're next week. Nicaragua, I mean, the Croners, I got fucking, that's it, Filipina, San Domingo Piso. I got everything. It's it. Filipina, San Lang Piso. I got everything. It's crazy. United States.

I got China from during Covid when they made special give it up for the fucking Guinea, Malaysia. Indian rupees, Central Ameri- what? Bank of the Republic of did... Burundi! Fuck! Costa Rica, god damn I got everything.

Afghanistan. I thought I got a Saddam Hussein one somewhere too. Iran! I finally finished the wall. So stop sending it everybody, because I'm no longer accepting it. The PO Box has been shut down. I will start it up in the future. I appreciate it, but it is done. If stuff is on the way, it'll be forwarded. Um, for, I don't know, a few months to a, I don't know,

a forwarding address, but then that's it. Pretty sad, but I finished it and I couldn't have done it without you guys. Cuba. I think I got that one. Trin Cuba think I got that one Trinidad I got that one Romanian Liu I got that one fuck is that some of these I don't know Kenya Zambia Congo oh there's the one with the Sanam Hussein on it. Iraq. Where is that one? Singapore! Jesus Christ. Kroners. Egypt. Pretty cool. Yeah, well...

Yeah. Anyway. You'll see it up. You actually can see, uh, if these podcasts go up and down in time, depending on how full this wall is over the guest's shoulders. It's a good little fucking Easter egg for you. That's it everybody. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Next week, I think it's Sarah Tolomasch and Joe List talking about their trip to Ecuador to visit me. So it's me, Sarah Tolomas and Joe List. Let's see, Tolomas and List.

The week after that, Mike Vecchione about Aruba. The week after that, Joe DeRosa about, where did we do, where did we do? I forgot. Damn, we got some good ones coming. Thank you very much everybody for tuning in. I hope you all enjoy your lives. Hungary, Budapest, a fucking war profiteer. Graham

Kay, nice Canadian guy, war profiteer. It's crazy. That is crazy. Everyone go see his show at the Soho Playoffs, Pete and me. And subscribe wherever you're watching this thing. Alright guys, till next week. See you later. Next week's a good one. Next week's a fucking good one. It's partially my trip, partially Saratoga Mosh's, partially Joel's, and not even partially, fully, but times three. Thank you very much for tuning in. This has been You Be Trippin'. I'll see you next week.