You Be Trippin' - Israel w/ Geoffrey Asmus | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Follow Geoffrey on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyatm/?hl=en SPONSORS: -If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at https://mintmobile.com/trippin On this episode of You Be Trippin, Geoffrey Asmus studies abroad in Israel with lawsuit money he got from almost dying as a child. While there, he prays at the Wester Wall, skinny dips with poisonous jellyfish, and stings his pee hole with salt by floating in the Dead Sea. He and Ari also discuss political art, hot women, hostel life, Pascal’s wager, and oil shits. Other topics include: the Yam I’yam hike, the Shuk Market, Jerusalem Syndrome, Nazareth, and getting chased away by kids at a kibbutz. Mazel tov! You Be Trippin' Ep. 54 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:43 - Start 00:04:49 - Studying Abroad, Lawsuit Money, & Israel 00:08:15 - Indonesia & A Jewish Map 00:14:29 - Studying Religion & Yam I'Yam Hike 00:21:52 - Kibbutz & Sea of Ga 00:27:15 - A Trashy and Dangerous City 00:28:21 - The Shuk Market & Great Food 00:30:27 - Political Art & Hot Women 00:35:17 - Palestinians, Not Looking Jewish, & Other Trips 00:39:09 - Bedouins, Jabal Mousa, & Moses 00:42:24 - Spirituality, Stylites, & Jerusalem Syndrome 00:47:12 - Nazareth, Pascal's Wager, Western Wall, & Dome of the Rock 00:54:25 - Dead Sea & Sea of Galilee 00:58:39 - A Gay Man & Religious Similarities 01:03:27 - More Photos, Skinny Dipping, & Hostel Life 01:07:29 - Israel's Reputation & What's Next 01:12:22 - Travel Tips Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Terms and conditions apply. And then I mean, the Aral Sea doesn't exist anymore. It's dried up. It's like a crazy thing no one talks about. It really doesn't exist anymore. What? It's all dried up. No. There's like maybe 10% of it still is there.

It's all dried up. The Aral Sea is gone. This whole sea? It's all like dried up or only seasonal, yeah. I like these, well you're like a buff Yeah, who know I I don't know these borders because the flat ones because that's definitely decided by some guy in England You know, it's he's just like it's at sixty nine point five degrees from Greenwich Village Yeah, like this is a long either a river or or a mountain range. Yeah, you know, but the flat ones

It's always like yeah, like Egypt one, the Chad, Libya. They fought over that for a long time. Yeah, like this Suez Canal, whatever I think that is. I get it. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. It should break there. That's it, Red Sea.

But yeah, exactly. These flat ones. All of the Middle East was just completely. They're just like Bedouin tribes. And we're just like, we've lived in all these. We're part of all these countries. And now we can't cross the border. Half of you are there, half of you are there.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was in a, I was outside, I just got back from Ecuador and I was outside, I was outside Whole Foods on Union Square. I had passed, some guy had some like art or something that reminded me of Ecuadorian. And I like walked, and then I went by, I was like, are you from Ecuador?

In Spanish, he goes, no, Peru. I'm like, are you from Ecuador? In Spanish it goes, no Peru. I'm like, oh really? It looks like, it goes, dude, that's all the same. It's all the same, yeah. It all used to be the Incan Empire, right? Yeah, it was all the exact same shit. Yeah. Where you been and where you going?

This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're gonna talk about travel today. It's UB Trippin' yeah. Well everybody welcome to UB Trippin'. It's a travel podcast. The only podcast that gives you ten dollars back every time you listen. Yeah that's right. Huh. Yeah. How so? Well if they listen they can fill out a thing and then they get ten dollars.

Wow. Really? Trying to get it off the ground. Wow. Okay. How do they prove they listen they can they can fill out a thing and then they get $10 Wow, we're really trying to get it off The ground Wow, okay. How do they prove they listen? You should have a quiz. I gotta be there. I guess oh They used to be there in person What if you had like a quiz? Pass like eight out of ten things. Yeah, what did Jeffrey say at minute 35? You get got an answer right away that I I saw, I was going to say Kimmel for Tarantino was on.

Okay. I was like Morgan Murphy was performing so I got in. Oh wow. They had a Kimmel, they had a Tarantino expert go head to head with Tarantino on Tarantino trivia. Oh to see if he knows more about his movies than Tarantino. He won I'm sure. Yeah.

Because people don't realize that we don't think about the art we create as much as they think about it. He just makes these movies and then he moves on with his fucking life. This nerd just dedicated his life to it. Twin Tarrantino is like, I have a wife and kids, I don't think about Jackie Brown every day. At 603, yeah. I was at Soda or Norman or something,

they're like, what up, John, huh? Like you mentioned the podcast, like which one? What? We black out up here. Five years ago? Yeah, and no one remembers, we're just talking. We're just trying to pass the time. Jeffrey is a great comic, he's open for me

within the last year. And now he's way too big to open for me. Oh, I would still do it. We had a great time with Philly. That was fun It was it was And you're also a fucking history buff History bit of a travel yourself people were mad at me the last the only did about military history some milk some American like Jingoist guys got real mad at me really because I was like kind of a little dissing the American narrative of military history and they were,

there were some guys who were like really mad, like ex-soldiers who were like, I'll fucking kill you, man. That sounds right. They're just in their PTSD induced terrors. Coming after me? No. 19 bottles of Jim Beam later. Jim Beam is the sign of a guy who's not great with his kids.

That is the guy who watched a friend die in Fallujah, unfortunately. Yeah. How is that mic? Is it not great? I think it's working. No, I'm just nervous and fidget. No, nothing to do with the mic.

This is a different podcast, by the way, than we did before. This is a different one. We don't talk about that one, maybe. It's probably been deleted by now. No, it's up. I looked today because I wanted to see the comments again. I have this list of, I've got to get back in there and delete them. You want to get rid of them?

You don't want them? It's just going to get someone in trouble. Sure. That's fair. For of them? You don't want them. It's just gonna get someone in trouble sure That's 20 people that are gonna listen and enjoy an old podcast Yeah, people like awesome is on a new sitcom Let me see what I can find right once they have an AI that can crawl through and find all of our problematic statements It's over. We do that on Twitter when you're behind the wheel as you just do a key I just deleted Twitter. I don't know me too I said some things about fat women in high school

that would not have. I was very incel adjacent until I was like 20 probably. I was saying some tough shit. So where do you wanna go today? What are you gonna tell me about? You travel, right? I haven't really traveled since I did travel to Incomming now, but I used to travel in college.

I was lucky enough to study abroad twice. Whoa. Thank God. Yeah, two summers, two, shorter, but yeah. Twice, that's unheard of. It is kind of. I got lucky enough where I, it's a very long story, but I got a large sum of money from a lawsuit that I was able to pay for a lot of college with. Really?

I was in an accident as a child and someone was found liable and I got a lot of money when I turned 18. What kind of accident? Uh, I guess we'll just tell the story. I was in, I don't remember it. I was only a year and a half old. And did you get touched? No, I wish that would have been more money.

So much more just random, random act of violence. I w I was in a car seat and the babysitter like left me alone in a car. And somehow I hung my, I fell off and hung myself on the seatbelt. Somehow she put me in improperly and I fell off and I was like hanging there and I had to go to the, I choked it. I died for eight minutes. My heart and brain stopped in the helicopter on the way to the hospital. Who'd you sue?

They sued the babysitter, whatever the daycare lady. Who's a daycare woman? Not just a single person. I can't rem, I actually don't know. I honestly don't. She's like, I work for Four Books an Hour. Yeah, I think she maybe is living on the street. I might pass her every day in Washington Square Park. I don't know.

Oh man, you got that education. And I didn't know this happened until I turned 18. So my parents just sat me down, they're like, by the way, you almost died when you were 14 months old. And then I got enough money to pay for college, so which was great. Wow. I can't, I will probably live 10 years less

than everyone else, but it was nice. I gotta have a lot of fun in college. Man, that baby's there turning around like, no fuck, no, no, no. I would love to meet her. I would love, she probably has, I would love for her to come to a show, do a little crowd work.

What do you do? Yeah. No, I would love for her to come to a show, do a little crowd work. What do you do? No, I work 80 hours a week because some little bitch couldn't stay in his car seat. But thanks to her negligence, I was able to study abroad in Ireland and Israel. And Israel, nice. Israel, I think Ireland's fun, but I think Israel's the more interesting one.

Ireland, I just did one. Yeah, let's do Israel. You just know about Ireland, yeah. The only people I know from Israel are the ones who had my experience or the new Avi Lieberman tours. What's that? Avi Lieberman puts on these tours of Israel. You've got to be clean.

So I was never allowed to go. Oh, like comedy tours. Oh, wow. So guys like Ian Laura have gone there. I think Tom Ticard did one. Probably. And the black dudes clean. Oh, like on stage or with women or everything? With women. Oh, I bet. Yeah. Yeah. And the black dudes clean. Oh, like on stage or in with women or women. Oh, I bet. Yeah.

Cause they're, yeah, there aren't many. God, they just go and it's like exotic enough. So we're like, but the other half are like noise. The ones, because there are the ones who are like those Ethiopian Jews. We wish we didn't let them in. Whether the Benet is real or whatever. It's crazy how little, anyway, I'll let you tell your experience of Israel, but like, yeah, they're not accepted. Like we got a lot of back, lost tribe, and then like, yeah, but you're not living among us.

Didn't they have like a long argument of whether they were Jewish or not? I think they were like a long- Yeah, they were just saying it. It was kind of like the trancing now. Like, can you just say it? Yeah, can we just say they're Jewish? Cause they were like kind of isolated

in Ethiopia, right, or something, and then they found them. They might have been Eritrean, it might have been before Eritrea. Or it might have been Eritrea, okay, maybe. Yeah, and they were kind of isolated in Ethiopia, right, or something, and then they found them. It might have been Eritrea, it might have been before Eritrea. Or it might have been Eritrea, okay, maybe. Yeah, and then they went back in. I mean, how would they get all through Egypt and down this way?

It makes no sense. But Ethiopia was like a Christian, it's the oldest Christian nation, I think, besides Armenia. Trivia question, you might know this, because you're kind of an expert, what's the biggest Muslim country? Indonesia. Got it, bro. No one ever thinks that one. It's're kind of an expert. What's the biggest Muslim country Indonesia got it?

No one ever thinks that one. It's by far. I think it's like a lot. Yeah, it's like oh, I mean, they're like Yeah, that's a country. I know very little about honestly. It's like the third or fourth most populous country I know absolutely nothing about it Island nation island nation. I know we killed like half a million communists in the 60s or something like that Yeah, well America armed them and like basically said kill every communist woman child. It's a great story about getting into Brunei and and head hunting had gone away and cannibalism. Oh, yeah. And I think in World War Two or one, they were there.

And then the English or the Americans like, hey, you can start that up again if you want. Oh, really? If you kill the Japanese, if you eat Japanese people. Meats back on the menu boys. That was probably one of the greatest meals of their lives. Like old men, we haven't gotten to eat people since I was a kid. Oh I remember how thigh tasted when I was a little boy.

And now they're gonna kill a Japanese. That would be nice. That would be nice. I lived in Jerusalem. Okay, where'd you study, Hebrew U? Hebrew U, yeah, Hebrew U on what is it, on the Mount Olives or Mount Carmel or something? Mount Carmel, yeah, that's great.

Mount Carmel, yeah, it's a nice place. Have you been there? Yeah, I went through Hebrew U. It's kind of like stacked on like- Oh, you went to Hebrew U? No, but I went by it. Oh, you went by it, yeah, yeah. I went to the Shiva.

Oh, nice. Yeah, I tried to wear something over the nation. Yeah, what is that? Peace through superior firepower. Okay, there we go. Yeah, I'm so busy. Yeah, there'm gonna do Shiva. Oh, nice. Yeah, I try to wear something over the nation. Yeah, what is that? What is that? Peace through superior firepower. Okay, there we go. Yeah, there we go, that'll work. Yeah, I noticed Palestine's not on this map. This is the, they already won the war in this world.

No, Gaza is already no longer. This might be before 2005 or four. It could possibly be, because nothing's really happened. Country, South Sudan though That's kind of new ish the got a retrial which means is somewhat. Yeah, and South Sudan's decently new as well Do they have these they do and that's that's 2001 those are the three newest countries I think so this could just be a very a Jewish map maker could be very Israeli not do we don't want to complete the two

Yeah And yeah, oh hi true. And yeah. Oh, hi everybody. I'm just breaking in real quick to let you know a little something about the comedian. I'm Ari Shaffir and I'm holy. I have Jerusalem syndrome, which means when you go to Jerusalem or Israel or talk about Israel like I am, I'm holier than you. I think they say it's that you feel holier, but I think I am holier.

Jeffrey has a new stand-up special, a half hour special on Don't Tell Comedy right now. Go to the Don't Tell Comedy website, I mean YouTube page and check out his special. He's hilarious. He's like legit one of the better comics in New York City. You will love him. I've had him open for me in the past, Philadelphia, I'm trying to think where else always kills check him out also his other special last white comedian forget what's called he's also on the road you can get tickets at white comedian comm he is going to be in Virginia Beach Charlie good nights wherever the fuck that is Richmond New York Wilmington Delaware New Br fuck that is. Richmond, New York, Wilmington, Delaware, New Brunswick, Chicago, Milwaukee, Appleton, New York again, Grand Rapids,

Ann Arbor, San Francisco at Cobbs and damn the punchline. Why'd it work that? Boise, Phoenix, Denver, San Antonio, Austin, Dallas, Somerville, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Get all tickets at whitecomedian.com. I'll also be doing some stuff myself, you guys. I've got a new special out right now on Netflix called America's Sweetheart. It's just finished its first month and it has already been called

the best special of January 14th. Myself, I'm gonna be performing in a bunch of places. San Antonio was last week. I've got San Jose, Tampa, Denver. San Antonio was already. Atlanta, ooh Denver with Colin Teal, Schaumburg, Illinois, that's it. Now we're talking Atlanta Portland, Seattle Calgary Edmonton

Vancouver Anchorage Alaska the farewell tours coming to a senior year. Oh Jefferies other special. The only funny white man is also on It's on the 800 pound gorilla YouTube page. Guys, this is a good episode about Israel. We didn't get political. That's pretty cool. We just got holy.

Come with me, get holy. Don't get political. Make fun of all the people in the comments. I'm sure they're getting political. Make fun of them and go, that's not what this is about. You're a dork. And that's it. If you have a postcard to send me from your travels on the road

Please send it you be trippin 151 first Avenue number 49, New York, New York 1003 it's a postcard P.o box that can only get your postcards only sent them from around the world and not from America I'll read them at the end of the episode Not this week sometimes I do on the patreon But sometimes I do at the end of the episode not this week because I won't be home unless I do it this week. Sometimes I do it on the Patreon. But sometimes I do it at the end of the episode. Not this week. Because I won't be home. Unless I do it this week. Unless I get home real quick.

Anyway, the point is, thank you very much. Subscribe, wherever you're watching or listening. I'm R.A. Shaffir. Let's get back to holy, you guys. We're holier than the rest of the people. Because we have a travel podcast. I know how to say goodbye to this one. It's Shalom, but it's waiting until the outro. Alright. Check out Jeffrey. Oh

And all my stuff is at always your fear.com merch to I Got the state-positive shirt and I got the oh, I got a new shirt go for a hike shirt You get the messages special go for a hike Yeah, I got a new t-shirt in the wet in the store go for a hike pre-order right now Also, I got new sign vinyls. I just stopped by the merch company in Nashville so I signed vinyls. This is the Russell Hotel in Nashville. They have this great thing. That's what it is, a converted church. So I figured I should go there and do the Church of the Holy Sepulchre podcast bumper. Anyway, let's get back to the episode.

Israel with Jeffrey Osmas. Jeffrey Osmas. I just released a new half hour special. It's on Doto Comedy's YouTube page. 30 minutes long. It's amazing. It's called Cancel Culture Isn't Real. Please watch it. Bye. So tell me about it.

Why'd you go there? Well, I studied religion and one of my majors was religious studies. And so obviously Israel kind of the homeland of three or four, the big religions. Isn't it nuts how they come together there? It is weird. I mean, I don't really believe in any religion. I think it's all kind of bullshit, but it is wild that three of them are from this one city.

You get why people fight over it. They split it up. Yeah, it's really important to us. Of course, if you thought Muhammad ascended to heaven or Jesus was killed there, I get why. Those are all big moments. I get why you're fighting over it. Yeah.

Who's, you know Ronan Hirschberg. Uh huh. He has a great joke about Israel, Palestine, where he's like, you know, you know the Muslims and the Jews are violent when the Christians are the sensible ones in the region. I love that joke, it's so funny. But yeah, we, I mean, we only took one class,

maybe two, they were both on the conflict, but really it was mostly the party and hike, if I'm being honest. That's what I wanna hear. I wanna hear about your experience, not like history or anything like that. We did very little studying. So one thing we did, I think the most fun thing we did, yam e yam, does that mean sea to sea?

Do you know, I don't know Hebrew. Yom is sea. Sea, yeah, yam e yam, the sea to sea hike. don't know Hebrew. Yom is sea. Sea, yeah, Yom Yom, the sea to sea hike. So we hiked from the Mediterranean Sea to the Sea of Galilee. We hiked across the sea. The area up there? Yeah, it was like Nahariya.

We started at Nahariya, which is in one of the furthest north cities right by the border of Lebanon. And then we marched across. How long did it take? Four or five days. But we did cheat. We got like a 10 mile taxi at one point because we got terribly lost.

We couldn't figure, we couldn't read the Hebrew map as well as we thought we could. But you did this on your own or you did this with it? No, it was me and like three American students and like one guy who was from Israel. He thought he knew more Hebrew than he really did. But it wasn't like a college thing. No, no no we did this on our own we just it was really cool yeah it was it was probably a hundred and twenty kilometers total we probably

actually hiked a hundred of it and my buddy Ralph Paz told me he did one it was see a guy lead to it's following Jesus footsteps to Jerusalem oh that'd be cool yeah and he said it's two, it's really, really religious people who go with crosses on their backs the whole way. Oh, they do, oh my God, they do like the stations of the cross and shit. And dreadlocked whites.

Really? Who are just like, all right, I wanna do this fucking thing. They don't even believe in Jesus, they're just like, this'll be fine. Uh-huh, and they just smoke weed the whole way. They do enough mushrooms where they think they are Jesus or something. Exactly.

They're like, I'm doing it. Yeah, it's not that bad. Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. And then that area is really cool. It's kind of like by the Golan Heights, which are on the map, by kind of Issyria. It's like very hilly, a lot of like thorn bushes and like little brooks and streams running everywhere.

It's very, and like, I think it was like peach orchards or orange orchards. I can't remember the orchards everywhere. That's where all the olives are from too. It might have been a lot of olives too, I think. It was like, Oh, olives and oranges, I believe. Yeah. And so I work out this, but, and, but all I was such, I only brought canned tuna to eat for some reason. And so I just for four days in a row,

I just ate canned tuna with like oily and by the end I had some of the most disgusting shits any human has ever taken. It was just pure oil and tuna oozing out. I was so sick and my friend got like a worm in her foot. So like her feet like expanded like 20% so they were busting out of her shoes. And she was like crying. That's why we had to take the extra the taxi as well. And she was like crying the last like day. Like she could barely walk.

Her feet couldn't fit in her shoes anymore. It was insane. God damn. How old was like 19? We I was 20, 20, 21. Yeah. Yeah. Did you, uh, did you become legal in Israel? Like when you, when you, as soon as you went there, we were like suddenly like a citizen. No, no, no. Like I've never been able to drink legally before. Uh, yeah, pretty. We could drink a little bit in Wisconsin where I went to college, but yeah, it was a lot. Yeah. I mean, not legally, but not legally, but I was the first place I could drink. Oh, actually no, I was in Ireland this summer before,

so I could drink there. We didn't, they didn in Ireland this summer before, so I could drink there. I didn't party that much in Israel, honestly. I did a little bit, but not as much as Ireland. Not as much as Ireland. Yeah. I kind of, I blacked out like an entire summer there. It would really not be an interesting story, honestly, because I remember none of it. But the hike was, we were going through a lot of private property. It wasn't really a trail you should be hiking on. I mean there were parts of it that were, but a lot of it we were going through like guys' farms and stuff.

Really? And there were like a lot of parts, there was one part where we got lost and there was like barbed wire everywhere and we were on like a ravine and there were like mat like bulls everywhere like these cows with like the big horns and they were like charging at us and we had to like evade them while like running under barbed wire in this guy's farm. It was absolutely insane. That's so fun. It was so fun. I mean it was absolutely insane and we got lost so many times because our friend Arya, I'm sure he's

in Gaza now blasting away some infidels. He was, uh, he was, you know, we won't get plugged. He was a great guy. He was a great guy. And, uh, but he, he did not know as much Hebrew as he thought he did. So we could not figure out where we were going yet. Are you trying to find out where, where the, where the site? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it started at Nahariya from there, I couldn't tell you exactly what times we went through. Nahariya, let's see if I can find it.

We only really, we made it to a grocery store like halfway through to restock, but otherwise we were pretty much in the middle of nowhere. We ran into another kid who was just hiking on his own too and he joined us like halfway. He was doing it for like religious reasons or something. Really? Yeah, he was like, I can't remember exactly why, but he was like not, like not speaking or something like that. Are you barely talking like a vow of silence or something? It was very odd. Really? Did you find Nahariya? Is that what it was in the far north? I can't, I'm trying to see where it is on the map here. Oh, by the way, if you're editing this, I'm sorry.

I just started. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's very far north. It was by Nahariya that we started. And you go to the Sea of Galilee. And then we went to the Sea of Galilee. It looks pretty fucking close. Hold on, let me go further out. I think it was 100 and...

Nahariya there, Sea of Galilee there. Wow, you're right up on Lebanon. Oh, maybe it's not as many miles as I thought it was. It's only like 20 miles. I can't see how big that thing is. Yeah, Sea of Galilee. Maybe we took an incredibly roundabout route. There's no way to get from where you're saying.

Maybe just say Tiberius. Just put Tiberius instead of Sea of Galilee. I think it was Tiberius we went to. I was in a, what's there for? Really? Two months, it was great. I almost left that there. 50, okay, 60 kilometers, okay.

That's, that's. How many hours is that? 14 hour walk. 14 hour walk. It seemed like way more than that. But that's probably if you walk on the road. You probably walk up and around. Yeah, I think we were taking a very round,

or we were just very out of shape maybe. I think we were taking a very roundabout way. We did a Myanmar, we did like a three day hike, three day, twoday to night. Yeah, and it was like they'd meet us with lunch everywhere I see you drive 20 minutes. I mean it's like in eight hours. Oh, that's nice Yeah, we go over a mountain. They're just like a highway run. Oh wow wait What kibbutz we stayed in a kibbutz one night? What's la vie? Maybe I don't know there We weren't supposed to be there. We camped out in their soccer fields basically and then the kids chased us away at like two in the

morning and we had to run to another. It's possible. Wow. Yeah, we would take hikes over there. There's a possibility that's the kibbutz we stayed at. The cool thing about Tiberia, the sea, what is it called? The Sea of Galilee. Sea of Galilee. So you're up here, right, imagine you're there, like in this region on the beaches they have, and you're just looking across this pretty big lake, and then there's just the enemy. Yeah I know, I know. They're all like, frolicking also. They're also on beaches, like, can't we just get along?

No one's got a bucket of best on. We both like beaches. Seems like we have similar interests. Is that Jordan or Syria across the way? I think they're eating hummus. It's probably Jordan, I bet. North Jordan? Where is it?

Oh, it's Jordan, because that's the Golan Heights. Yeah, it's Jordan. Oh, yeah, right, right. Okay, yeah, dang. We might have camped out in your kibbutz. I'm afraid of that. Because, yeah, we found in a, not a bandit, but a soccer field at like 11 at night,

set up our tents, then a bunch of kids chased us away because I don't know who they thought we were, but they're probably used to American tourists doing shit like that and we had to like run for it. What are they gonna do? Yeah, they were just like throwing little rocks at us or whatever, but it could very well be, it looked pretty small.

It was a pretty small, what is a kibbutz actually? It's supposed to be utopian. Utopian. It's like a co-op, like a socialist co-op. They kind of lived together a little bit. Everybody's gotta do something. Okay. So a lot of people worked in the,

that we were with anyway. It was like a high school, second half of high school. We went there. A lot of people, this was my dorm. Wow. Fuck. It did look. No fucking way. That's the exact one. Wow.

It looked a lot like that. I don't know if it was the same one, but it looked a lot like that. Are there a lot of, there's a lot of kibbutz's though, right? Yeah, they had a program, which definitely they got paid to let these kids in. Cause like, oh, well you're gonna show you how to work.

And really, but they were like, hey, they're not gonna, you gotta give us some money. Oh, right. Oh, you were like kind of on like a, almost work release program. Yeah, it's like we do basic training somewhere, but they're like, you're not actually going to the Army, so you're gonna pay us to do this experience.

Yeah, yeah. What kind of work were you doing? Just like growing up. Some people worked in the turkey fields, in the turkey, whatever, and they had their dumb waiters, Jonathan Levov, John Pollan, all these guys, and they would, they took it seriously. What do you mean turkey fields?

They were raising turkeys? Oh, really? Just up to their ankles in shit every day. They come home stinking. Wow. Some people worked in the nursery. Some people worked in the kitchen. And then a lot of us worked in the avocado fields

and our jobs were just to get out of work. We'd go to the deepest field and just like. And do nothing. That's great. Lay down. And then the occasion. That's where socialism breaks down. That's where it is.

The lazy. No one wants to. It really does break down with the lazy. We were just lazy. Yeah, yeah, it could work. The cow fields other people worked in, damn this is it, wow. Was it actually utopian or was there a dark underbelly a little bit where they had to like force people to work?

Well obviously you just said they did, but they weren't like physically lashing people, were they or anything? No, but. I'm sure they're, to get anyone to do something like that there has to be some coercion. It's gotta be like, that's it, if you grew up on a farm, you'd be like,

I don't wanna work dad. Yeah. Well then we're gonna starve this winter. Right, right, that's true. Yeah, for us it was like, I was rebelling against being a grocery bagger at buyer lays, but they were rebelling against farming. It was beautiful like that, oh God.

What a beautiful, beautiful country. I mean, oh God. What a beautiful country. I mean, again, you get why they fight for it. It is very, very beautiful. Hi guys, today's episode of You Be Trippin' is brought to you by MintMobile.com. Can you hear that dripping in there? I'm sorry, can you hear that dripping? Should we do this again?

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You can hear it, right? I'll just go over there and play it. Listen, listen to this. It never stops. I mean it's off. It never stops. What am I supposed to do? I'm just going to leave the apartment.

Anyway, back to the episode. Hi guys, today's episode of YubiTrip is brought to you by TheMorrings.com. Guys, TheMorrings is the world's premier yacht charter vacation provider. They've been in business for over 50 years. They specialize in providing guests with private customized boating vacations in select destinations all over the world. I told my friend Tom Segura I was doing this ad and he said, Ari, I wouldn't be interested in that because my listeners are poor.

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Love the boating life. Well, it's beautiful up there, but if you drive from Eilat to Tel Aviv, it's disgusting. Who's fighting over this? The upper half's very nice. Jerusalem's a very nice city, but a lot was trash in my opinion. It was like 118 degrees. But like, it's all barren, that whole drive up until right up, once you get to Tel Aviv, it's just barren. Yeah, you take those buses and every time, whenever we get in the bus, they'd be like, well, six months ago, Bedouin tribesmen blew up the same

bus you're riding today. And they're like, oh, cool, great. When I was there, there was actually no violence, but I got a little bit. They always said the Hebrew U kids were okay, were safe. They always told us like be careful don't go to the Arab quarter, we're not gonna get political. But be careful. But don't go to the Christian quarter because you'll get influenced. It's the Armenian Christians right? I think yeah I think it's mostly Armenian. But they said Hebrew U's never had anything because Americans were there. They know we're targeted. Yeah. I think it's mostly Armenian. But, um, but they said Hebrew use never had anything cause Americans were there. They know we're target. That's where you, for your cause. You'd get the real hammer. Yeah. No, yeah. We, I never felt in danger at all.

We would go up Ben Yehuda, whatever we do, whatever we wanted. Tell me about it. Tell me all about the, I love the market. I don't know. I don't know what quarter that was in the The old city, the Shook, yeah. That shit was amazing. You're going through these winding cobblestone streets. Everyone's carrying these baskets of spices that we didn't have these spices in Minnesota. Or not the same quality at least.

Just piles of saffron and everything. Just the best food imaginable. I mean just like all these dates, pomegranates. I just had so much pomegranate juice and like dried dates and all that. It's just amazing. It's funny when you get to a place and you're like, hey, this thing that's average here, it costs so much where I live. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh, pomegranates are so much. And they're just like, it's like a nickel. They would cut it in half and just grind the juice out of it and give you a cup of it right

there. It was amazing. Wow It was so good and you've realized that like a lot of people who travel realizes but like our food in America is just so Laid in with these chemicals. It's just like not the same. It's not the same food really. It's crazy It's like I mean I still eat it and we grew up with it, but it's it's just a different taste When I had like you know I had my first real pineapple, I was like, wait, what? The fruit and vegetables is like insane. The meat isn't all that much different,

but the fruit and vegetables is just, it's another. It's like a flavor square. It was like, it doesn't taste like this where I'm from. It's like the candy version of pineapple tastes like this. Right, right, it's like a Sour Patch pineapple. Yeah, exactly. It's in this, the amazing, uh, shawarma there. I don't know what they call it. Yeah, it was shawarma,

but they had, and they had like these fried eggplants in the pita pocket. It was so good. It was just like, no, it was shawarma with fried eggplant with like tahini and that baba ganoush it was so good the fried eggplant was what I always remember you didn't have to get it with the meat sometimes you could just get the veggie virgin obviously with falafel yeah dude it's those it's those stalls where there's all these stalls everywhere you know our pizza we never what yeah I had that there was you never

went to a sit-down restaurant really it was just all these food carts and everything we actually went to the West Bank restaurant really. It was just all these food carts and everything. We actually went to the West Bank one or two days. Did you really? Yeah, it was crazy. Let's describe it. That one, it would be hard to describe without getting political.

I'll just describe it. No you can, tell me your, from then. I can't remember exactly what city we went to. We had to go through the wall. Like there was special buses you could go through. You had to get everything checked and everything. A lot of people from the West Bank come to Israel to work and it's not, it's more a porous border

than we think it is really. But it's like if they're trying to get Mexicans up to pick our stuff, like you gotta go back tonight though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like, it's a sundown time basically, I think they do have to be out by sundown. But so we go through the, and my like, God bless her soul, my like white feminist friend, she really, it was when like, this was in like 2010, 2011,

when Banksy was like, Banksy did like a bunch of graffiti on the wall. And so that was our- Oh, the West Bank wall? Yeah, that was our big thing is my friend, she wanted to see all the amazing political graffiti. I can't remember what they were, but it was all just, it's all bullshit in my opinion.

But we, so we walked all along this wall. Art has never, that's the problem with art, like we're so important, but you've never actually changed. Yeah, you're not changing anything. You're getting a lot of pics and clicks and whatever. Because also like, yes, he's making a statement on this wall, or you could just go see how they live and see for yourself.

Yeah, that would be a much better way. Yeah, it's like you're right there. You can actually get the situation. Or he could give the money he earns to them or something. Yeah, that kind of art's kind of cynical to me. So that was our main goal. Do you have that kind of shawarma? Yeah, oh my gosh.

The echenor. The echenor. So good, I didn't know what that was called. It's like a burrito. Yeah, it was like a burrito. It was like a bigger one. You get the pita pocket or you get the big one. And they can have some, they had some really spicy sauce.

I don't know what they called it. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds familiar. It just means hot. Oh really? Okay. That shit was amazing. I got it for like the first week. It just destroyed all of our bowels, but then we got used to it.

Yeah. And where the fried eggplant was great. The seller used to have that shit. Yeah. And then they got rid of it. Really? Yeah, and I was like told that, I was like, what the fuck, you're Israeli.

Yeah, you're known as Israeli, come on. Yeah, and she goes, well, we have Frank's, and I'm like, shut the fuck up, lady. That's what she replaced it with was Frank's red hot sauce. It was like, you know what I'm talking about, the harifa. She's like, we're American now, we don't know. I was like, you fucking fucking, how dare you? They can make a lot of money

having like authentic Israel cuisine. But oh yeah, so we went to West Bank, I cannot remember which city, but it is kinda crazy, whatever you believe, whatever, but there's like, they have pictures of the martyrs everywhere. Really? Of like the, whatever you wanna call them.

People blew up. Yeah, they blew up themselves or die. I don't even think it was, I think it was also people who just died fighting as well, but they were pictures of them everywhere. That was pretty much all there was, honestly. Just every wall space had like a guy's name. Do you have pictures of any of this stuff? I don't have that.

I don't think we were allowed to take pictures maybe, or maybe we were, but we didn't. I think. Well, this was also before cell phones were readily available. Yeah, this was 2010. We had like a flip phone, yeah. So also, we wanted to play it pretty cool. Tourists, our Israeli friend did not come on this journey.

I think he didn't want to. He was like, I'll meet up with you guys. Yeah, he's like, I'm gonna skip the West Bank. So, they were, I will say, hottest women I've ever seen in my life. In the West Bank? West Bank, just gorgeous. Really?

I mean, Israeli women are beautiful too, cause they're all, there's no fat people in Israel. Cause they're all in the army. Everyone's in shape in Israel. I'll give that, absolutely. Palestinian women, there we go. What the? There we go.

Some beautiful. But that's not, that's Israeli. I mean, that's the creep, oh those are Israeli. These Israeli soldier babes could kill you at first sight. What an incredible clickbait title. I love that. West Bank Hot Chicks. Wow, they really don't do a good job marketing themselves.

Oh, cool. That might've been the one I saw. Wow, they really gotta do a better job marketing themselves because I remember them to this day. She won Miss Palestine last year. Yeah, this is not a good look for free Palestine right here. Like, okay, a bunch of fours, who cares? Come on.

I remember them being beautiful. I was also a virgin then, so I could have painted it in a different way. Okay, there's some attractive women right there. But I mean, they were, not everyone was wearing the burka and everything like I thought either. They were actually- They were more Christian there, right?

There was a lot of Christians in the West Bank too, yeah. I think it's like 5%, but most people don't even know that. My friend Aaron Kater came from, he was a Christian, a West Bank Christian. Right. His parents were, and he goes, it's different there. Sure. They're just not into the same stuff.

What do you mean? Oh, like the Christian? They're just like, let's build a movie theater. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, we imagine they're all just living Sharia law. They're just going to movies too and living life in the same way. And we had some amazing food there.

It was the exact same food they were serving on the other side of the wall. They just called something different? Yeah, it's just slightly different name. It's the exact same food. It's that region, huh? It's just like, they're like, this is Israeli food. And they're like, this is Palestinian food.

I think we both like the same thing. I think we're both eating the same shit and shitting the same shit every night. I think there's a Palestinian place to open up near me, a food place. I joke about there is no Palestinian food. But then I think it was just Middle Eastern. And then after October 7th, they were like,

uh, it's actually Palestinian. Right, I mean, good marketing, good marketing. Gotta go with it when you can, I respect that. But the, I mean they were very nice to us because we probably weren't Jewish looking, I'm sure that had a little bit to do with it. You really don't. Yeah, I don't give off any, no one in Israel

ever mistook me for a Jewish person. They have Jewish dorks now? Yeah. I look like the grandson of the guy who was hunting for them, not the fucking, no one ever thought I was Jewish. So I think they give you a Christian's, everyone kind of tolerates the Christians.

They're like, okay, Catholics, you're fine. No one really hated on the Christians, I noticed that. It's funny too when you look at a place through your American or whatever eyes and your lenses and then you go, it's actually not that for anyone else. It was like, it was like, we want to get to Cuba for it's like ruined because they opened it up when it was still open. And then my Canadian friends like,

we've been going. Yeah. We forget that the rest of the world did not and borrow Cuba for really no reason. Yeah. We're the ones who've been starving the Cuban children. That was kind of, that was kind of our thing. You do forget that, yeah. But they do love, I mean, they like Americans over there. I mean, the West Bank people were very kind to us. That's a cool trip. That was fun, that was awesome, yeah.

We went to Petra too, we went to Jordan, we went to Petra for around a week. We got a, okay, hold on then. You gotta come back, we'll do one of those together, because I went there too. Oh nice. Wild. Oh, Petra's legitimately insane.

It makes no sense how it could possibly exist. Let's do another episode another time. Okay. We'll just talk about that for a second. I'm down for that, yeah. Okay. Because that's something that I love history, and there are some things that make no sense.

It makes no sense. Well, I'll get into it later. Yeah, we'll get into it. Okay, okay, okay. We also went to Egypt. We went to Mount Sinai. We went to where they found the Ten Commandments. These are just day trips you can do?

We that was more like that probably took like four days. It was a long. It's a long ordeal to go from Israel to a Middle Eastern country because they don't want you actually. We couldn't get an Israeli stamp on our passport because then they wouldn't let us in. So when we got into Israel, my friend's really good at traveling. She's like, okay, I want to go to Jordan and Egypt, so we have to make sure to ask, don't stamp our passports, otherwise we can't go on this trip later in our stay or whatever.

Stickers, just sticker only. It's a sticker, yeah, a sticker only. So you could peel it off. Yeah, because you could peel it off and then you could put it back on. And you also didn't want to get it stamped in the Arab countries. Both sides are not wanting people. Because what were you doing in Afghanistan? Yeah, I was in Egypt.

You were clearly becoming a terrorist. Yes, me. I was just drinking. Yes, I'm wearing the University of Wisconsin shirt. I am a hardcore freedom fighter now. But so we took a bus to Mount, it's probably in the middle of the Sinai. I don't know how far exactly it was, but.

What is it Mount Sinai? It was, I think it's, yeah, it was Mount Sinai. That was the other one. I can't remember what the other name is. S-I-N-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T-H-E-R-I-T Yeah, yeah. Oh wow. Yeah, and then, and it was by like some monastery, like St. Catharines, Mount Catharine, Mount Catharine. That's where we stayed, I'm pretty sure, and then we got a, oh yeah, it was a long drive to get there. Wait, where the hell's Israel?

Israel's way up there. It was way, way up there. Wait, on which side? You'd have to zoom out more even. Oh, it's not even on there? Oh, there it is. It's just that little tip right at the end. Damn, oh it really goes down there.

Yeah, that was a long, and it was like these Bedouin dudes who drove us down there. They make up pretty good living just shuttling tourists down there. How much Bedouins did you meet? TD Direct Investing offers live support. So whether you're a newbie or a seasoned pro, you can make your investing steps count. And if you're like me and think a TFSA stands for total fund savings adventure,

maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing. A lot of Bedouins. We met them in Petra too. They kind of guided us around Petra. They were cool. I mean, they were definitely trying to hook up with my white female friends, but you know, it helped me out. They are kind of like the gypsies of the Middle East. They're kind of, I kind of like them a lot. But more respected than gypsies. I think people liked them mostly.

They were pretty cool. We stayed, when we were in the sheet, we stayed in a Bedouin experience, same thing. We probably paid them. Oh yeah, yeah. But they're like, come have our coffee. Now do not refuse coffee. Oh yeah, they did. We don't drink tea or coffee. You have to take it. Yeah, they always had like a little hookah thing paid them. But they're like, come have our coffee. Now do not refuse coffee. If they are, you don't drink tea or coffee.

You have to take it. Yeah, they always had like a little hookah thing with them. Like this guy was bringing us around and his like donkey, that was like his best friend. And he just had tea and hookah and it was amazing. I was ready to be hospitable. We were like at the top, that was in, no, that was in Sinai.

He just like, at the top of like a crest of the ridge, he just brought out some hookah and we smoked and what really and he they have this shit like this. Yeah Oh, that's exactly where we went right there. Yeah, really? That's like at the top. That's the top of the Jabal Musa right there. It's like an ancient monastery from like the fourth or fifth century Really? Yeah, and you could go all the way to the top and just see this The hike wasn't incredibly, it probably took like three hours maybe. It wasn't incredibly hard, but the-

You saw that? Yeah, we saw all- I mean, you're looking at the whole fucking world. Yeah, it's insane. All these red rocks everywhere for miles, you could see for hundreds of miles. So cool. That was an amazing, amazing day.

And that's where Moses found the bush. That's where they say, they have a bush still that they claim is the burning bush, which who could possibly believe that? It was, it would be a lot of time. They claim it's a 2,000 year old bush or whatever. Shut up. That was a little, even I'm like, come on. Shut up.

I thought it was burning though. Yeah, I see, it's been eternally burning or some bullshit. I'm like, I went to Catholic school, but I'm not this far. They had camels up there and shit? Yeah, yeah, we rode the camels to like maybe the base of the place, yeah. Wow, was this chick there that she put out? Was this a slut?

This is the hot Palestinian woman, there we go. Dead cat. It was a lot of like American, it was almost all American hikers. I mean, this fucking place rules, bro. Really cool. And they had like, I think they had like a little gift shop in there where you could buy tea and honey and all that.

They had to commodify Moses' Ten Commandments, of course. Capitalism hits everything. What are we gonna do? But that was an insane hike. That was very cool. Wow, and this is the terrain, this kind of shit. This is the terrain, yeah. It was fairly, the hike, they clearly had made a trail

for people to go on, but it was, yeah, it was pretty going up these rock steps and everything. These cliffs on both sides. It was, we went, we went later in the day cause it was like a hundred degrees in the heat of the day. So you kind of wait till like 4 PM to go if I remember correctly. That's cool. It was awesome and incredible time. So that was, that was fun. I mean, I don't, I don't like believe in this shit anymore, but it is like, Oh, I learned about this as a kid. That's kinda cool.

Does it hit you at all? A little bit. You get a feeling that something happened. They couldn't have made up every single detail. Did I think that a guy talked to a god who gave him 10 rules? No, but something probably significant happened on that mountain.

Duncan was telling me about Lode, I think. He's like a weird, like, psycho, psycho-spiritual. Wait, is Lode? Wait, who's Lode? Oh, is that Lot? No. Oh, okay. And it might not be Lode, but he goes,

so when his shit gets passed down a little bit and rewritten, you lose a little something. Sure. And you're like, oh no, you were talking, I know who you were talking about. So it was like, some people people were marked and they were like the outsiders you know like oh those might be black people those might whatever but then he goes no no it was artists. The artists were kind of like you guys live

by yourself you do your own thing. They were kind of the freaks. And they weren't marked they just have weird haircuts. Oh really? And then I have like earrings and shit. And that's when they were the prophets like that's how I filter down I live in our society right in their own. They did the only thing they didn't have job jobs, right? There were the loser poets back then they were like the trust fund kids living in the desert at st. Catherine's monastery Well, okay, cuz a lot of these monasteries were like this is like kind of where Christianity started, was in these deserts and stuff. They had all these monks, the hermits, who would just go into the desert and just kind of chill.

Them and 10 other priests would just live in this mountaintop and just pray all day. All day. And just do nothing else. That's kind of how Christianity started, and then it got to churches and malls and all that. But that's how it that was those are like I kind of respect those guys. I always have I always like the hermits. Oh

Is that the oh they had the the Muslim prayer there? There we go I don't respect the members because why are you living out there? You're not you don't want to be there They must believe they must believe there must be something to it. Otherwise, why be there? Yeah, they wasted they're not wasted but they're dedicating their whole lot. They don't have sex, they don't, they'll just like eat honey. Like there were guys that were just like, that's all they eat their whole life.

Or there were these guys, my favorite, they're called like the stylites or whatever. They would just sit on a, live on a pole. They would just, yeah, it's, yeah, stylites, yeah. A stylite type of Christian aesthetic. They would just live on a pillar for like hundreds of days. Fast, pick and bring. That's a real thing?

Yeah, there was like a fad for like 100 years in like the fifth or fourth century AD. They would just live on the top of these pillars and people would give them a little food via rope, but they would just live there for years and years. Simi and the stylite, I think he started it. And then a bunch of people just copied him. Just like people copying Columbine.

Yeah, it's like, it's a fun little, it hurts no one. Yeah, they just live on the top of a pillar like that. Just to prove that Jesus was God or something. That pretty much proves it. Yeah, I mean, as you can see by me, not eating bread for 40 years, Jesus came back from the dead, clearly. There's no argument with that. So that was, I love the, I remember we learned about those in college. Damn. I always remember those. I mean,

then there were the guys who would like whip themselves and all that. So you would feel like spiritual there? Because they have that Jerusalem syndrome. Oh yeah, that's crazy. Is that where people think they're like God? They're Jesus, they must be. They think they're Jesus. They're feeling so spiritual from being around it, that they're like, there must be a reason I'm here. I'm telling you, I'm feeling something.

I'm connected. They actually think they're Jesus. Oh wow, I didn't know it went that far. I thought they just felt a religiosity. I didn't know they, I would love, is it happening, is this a more modern phenomenon or it's been happening forever? Yeah, let's click on it and see if we can get the, get the gist of it. Acute psychotic state observing tourists and pilgrims who visit Jerusalem.

The main symptom is identification with a character from the Bible exhibiting behaviors, which seem to be typical for this character. That'd be, oh, so it's not just Jesus. It could be a woman who is like a huge whore and she's like, I'm a virgin now. I'm married, come on, I've never had sex. Brian, you're lying. It's not your baby, it's God's baby.

I've been a virgin the whole time. Yeah, that'd be funny if someone was like a very minor character. Oh, I'm the goat herder from John 13. I'm the goat herder. You know like when they have one of those DC or Marvel ones, or even like Guardians of the Galaxy where half people are like, I've never heard of this one.

Yeah, yeah, oh he was in one panel in 45. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the Japanese tea monger? Oh yeah, of course. Oh, that's so funny. I didn't know that. You know what? Wow.

Do I think it's... So you feel like you are, you start quoting it, you're just one of these people. I could know that. I, you know, do I think it's... So you feel like you are, you start quoting it, you're just one of these people. I could see that. I think you'd have to be a little deeper in religion in the first place than I was to fall for it, but I could see it. I mean, you go to, I mean, we went to,

they say all the, there's like, this is where Noah was buried, or here's where Jonah, how do you know where Jonah's buried or here's where Jonah how do you know where Jonah's buried the guy from the whale we found him out of the whale and now he's buried here or like we went to Nazareth we that was where yeah wait was that might have been is Nazareth in the West Bank did you hear it do you know they're opening up a craft store in Nazareth what yeah they're opening they're hoping a whole plant there. What do you mean?

Yeah, they're calling it Cheeses of Nazareth. I could not tell if that was going to be a pun or not. I didn't know where that was going. Wait, that's what we did in the West Bank, because that's where Bethlehem is. It's in the West Bank. And so we went to where they say Jesus was born, the manger, the church, and we visited that.

Really? That was one of the things we did. I'm almost positive that's in the West Bank. Yeah, it is, because I remember there was a- Which one? It's the best, yeah. This one? Yeah, that's it, yeah, yeah.

Because they did, yeah, because this is a whole thing with this whole thing. I mean, you wanna go where Jesus was born. I went to fucking- That's pretty crazy. Yeah, I went to where Babe Ruth was born. Ha ha ha. Jimi Hendrix, near Vancouver. I went to where my grandma was born. Wow. Like, we went to where Babe Ruth was born. Jimi Hendrix, near Vancouver.

I went to where my grandma was born. Wow. We got to check out where Jesus was born. They had a little golden thing. They're like, this is where Jesus landed on earth from his mom's pussy. Then everyone was going, yeah. That, even I was like, okay, I'll do a little prayer. You got to be at least a little like so like this

These steps. Yeah, they're kind of the original steps or that wall. Anyway, they probably Been there two thousand years. Yeah, so when you're touching that you're like Jesus touch this. Yeah, or his dad like took a load off. Yeah. He's like Mary. I can't believe you had sex with God He leaned right here. Yeah, it's like, Mary, I can't believe you had sex with God. He leaned right here, yeah. It's like, I don't know, I'm more of an animist. That's a classic like Pascal's Wager, like you know that, what is it? Pascal's Wager, he's like this French philosopher, he's like, you can either believe in God and God's real,

or you either believe in God and then God ends up not being real, or if you don't believe in God and he ends up not being real, you might as well just believe in case he is real. You might as well just say a prayer, be a good person, because if he's not real, then it doesn't matter either way. You're just wasting time. You might as well just believe in it and there's a chance it might be real.

It's a safer bet. It's a safer bet. Go to confession all the time. Yeah, yeah, go to confession, be a good person. Maybe you'll get a reward, maybe you won't. So I definitely did get on my knees and I saw a little prayer in front of the, oh yeah, you're in Jesus' birthplace, you gotta say a prayer, you gotta say a prayer.

Did you put a prayer in the Western Wall? I did, I did, I didn't know if that was okay or not. I think it is. Okay, yeah, I don't remember what I put, but we did go to the Western Wall. I went, yeah, we went to the Dome of the Rock as well, Al-Aqsa. So I could not, I was definitely not allowed in there.

That is how the intifada started. Really? One of the prime ministers of Israel was like, well, this is ours, technically I'm allowed to go in. And they were like, dude, we had an unwritten fucking agreement. This was like the 2001 intifada. That's how it started?

I didn't know that. Yeah, the intifada won. I mean, not the battles at all, but like that intifada. And he goes, I'm going in, I'm allowed. And they were like, what the fuck man. Right, right. Because that's where they believe

Muhammad ascended to heaven. Yeah, but like Christians are allowed to go. But it's like the deal is, you guys don't fucking come here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We won't, yeah. And probably maybe not a fair deal, but wow. Yeah, the Western Wall, I remember. Well, I wore the kippah.

I wore the kippah, I wore the kippah, I remember. Look at this, this is one group's most religious place, or top, top five. It's their third, it's their third, yeah. And this right here. Is that the most, that's number one for Jews, right? It's the last standing. That's the Western Wall.

It's the last standing. So when you pray, you know when you see the Muslims like get a tablet out or whatever, a yoga mat, and they start praying? Yeah. Jews do that too, we just don't go all the way to the ground. We face here.

Oh, you're facing, they're facing Mecca. If you're in Africa, you face north. Oh, they have like, they've written down like exactly where you face. And in a lot of synagogues, they'll be like, they'll have the line. They're like, it's right there. Really, I love that.

It's directly to there. That's so, that's awesome. There was like a whole rampart, you could walk to Al Aqsa, the Dome of the Rock. It's very separate. How much prettier is the Dome of the Rock? I think the rampart's to the right there. Oh, this thing?

No, the lower right. That's like the way lower right of the pick. That thing is the roof of the stairs to walk over it. Oh yeah, yeah, you go up that way. You walk over it and then you get to the Dome of the Rock. We weren't allowed in the Dome of the Rock. We didn't go. Tourists.

What the fuck was that? Oh, this is touring Israel. Here we go, Western Wall. That's a bold font for Israel. Damn, what a fucking accusation it just threw at me. Yeah. Oh my God. He lived it, he lived it, come on.

I lived there, yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. Dude, we'd march across the city. I'll do this on my episode of Israel, in the holy days, I think it's when the commemorates when the Torah was given. Oh yeah, yeah. And so you stay up all night learning from the Torah,

and then for sunup, the first time you're allowed to pray, you march and dance and sing across the city and pray right there. To the Western Wall. It's just spiritual. It is. You feel like you're doing it. It is good to be like a part of something.

That's what atheism, that's why there's no like, I probably am an atheist, but it has no charm to it. It can't be a proud atheist. There's no community. I like, even if it's all fake, I'd love to go to a church potluck and eat meatloaf with my aunts after. Yeah, the only thing uniting atheists

is their hatred of the other. But they aren't really bragging about their own thing. Right. It's like the anti-Trumpers, like you don't love your guy, you just hate the other guy. Exactly aren't really bragging about their own thing. It's like the anti-Trumpers, like you don't love your guy, you just hate the other guy. Exactly, and that gets nowhere. As we see now, it goes nowhere. Yeah, oh, I forgot about that area. That's crazy. And you stuff these little things into the holes there and there's just like, do they take them out every day?

I don't know. I think they just fall out or they just disintegrate. I guess they'd water it and get it because they weren't as many as you'd think because it was Fucking packed with people. Yeah, and you try to reach up higher. So like it's less less crevices Right, right yours. Oh the thing also when we went to the Dome of the Rock It was me and like for the Dome of the Rocks beautiful the calligraphy on the outside is I mean, it's so much for the Jewish it Well yours is the run ruins of what they would say is probably was a much better temple. So it will be rebuilt one day, right?

Isn't that kind of the goal? But not in the same spot, they'll just build another one. It's not the same spot? Oh, it's nearby. Oh, okay. Oh, it's at Megiddo or something, isn't it, or something? It's like, six blocks over, we got a whole park actually to take.

They got it ready for you, Jesus. Yeah. And I wouldn't be Jesus, I guess. Yeah, Jewish Jesus. That's our guy, that's our guy. I would love to go in there, it's so pretty. It was beautiful. We could have gone in, but it was like,

you had to wait or something, I can't remember exactly. But all my female friends, they had to cover up. Even if you're a tourist, you didn't have to cover up burka and everything, but they to wear like a little shawl Had to wear long Cover their legs up. But you did do that for some of the Orthodox Jewish people to be respectful of their respectful Yeah, it was like yeah, I won't bring I won't bring like non kosher into my parents house when I'm there if I have some left I'm like, I'm gonna throw this out outside. Oh really? They don't even want it. They don't even want to be around

I fuck with them. I don't know if I'm in at a mosque I've been in a mosque in Indonesia or in Vietnam It's like if they go down to the knees. I'm going out of my knees, right? It's not a political statement follow just do it when in Rome when in Rome just go for it Yeah, like when I go back home for Christmas. I have to go to church. I do all the prayers. I say they are father Whatever. It's about make mom and dad happy Exactly. What pictures do you have? Yeah, let me see what I have. I haven't looked at these in a long time. Let me check these out.

I think it's a lot, unfortunately, of me being drunk, but let's see what we got. I might do an update. I might ask you for an update. Downloading firm, okay. I just gotta download this firmware or something. Oh, we went to the Dead Sea, too. Here's a picture of the Dead Sea.

Masada, Dead Sea and Masada. Oh, there we go. Nice. There's me to the Dead Sea too. Here's a picture of the Dead Sea. Masada, Dead Sea and Masada. Oh, there we go. There's me in the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea. Wait, expand that. Can I, can I? Oh, there we go. Oh no.

That's you? That's me right there, yeah. Wow. There we go. That was 2010, 2011, I can't remember. But the Dead Sea fucking hurts. Cause it's like, have you been in it? I never went in it.

You never went in it? I had a cut and I didn't go in yeah the thing is you don't realize we all have I mean women have that gashed like it does like my friends were like it is painful it's just salt it's just salt going right and it goes up your fucking dick like we all have a little cut at the end of our penis and it it stings it's not like it's not a great feeling it's not a well but you float huh it's you float I mean they feel like hard like foamy no it's not like, it's not a great feeling. It's not a, wow, but you float, huh? It's you float, I mean the- What, does it feel like hard, like foamy? No, it's, well the ground instead of sand, it's salt.

It's all salt. Yeah, I was on the bank there. There was like this mud you could buy that we put all over our faces beforehand too. Like it like, I don't know, ex folate. You felt, I felt like a baby after I came out of it. It was amazing. But you couldn't put your head underwater.

That was a big no-no. You don't want to get all the salt in your eyes. That would be, if it got in there, you could be in incredible pain. You'd be wearing those pelicans that couldn't get their fucking head. Yeah, it just like, you'd just get a cataract, I imagine, and it just kicks over immediately.

Were you in a wristband there? I might have been. I'm probably wearing a yarmulke. No, I'm not there, but I had, I found a Badger Yamaka and I wore it everywhere. Wisconsin. They had, I mean they commodify everything. They had a, they'd have these stores with every possible thing you could put on. Like Bart Simpson Yamaka is like, I don't know if this is what it's just all,

I don't know if this is Elohim intended or what do you call God? Elohim or Jehovah or Elohim? You don't say Jehovah. You don't say Jehovah. That's Christian, right? That's an interpretation of, they don't even say the letters. They change the hey to a K. Oh, they change. Oh, because it's so holy you can't say it. It's A-R-I, you don't want to say the things. It's like Voldemort. It'd be like A bar I. Oh, because they... Because even that might be the way you say it. Oh, because they want to be as far away as possible. away as you cave of K and what would happen if you said it?

It's bad. So it is like yes, Jehovah might have been one of the names But they're like you're only the high priest can say that name really only once a year only once was holiday So there's other Elohim you're allowed to say There's other names of God you can say 99 names or something like names or something like that. Oh, Yom Kippur. I thought he just got it once a year. He's like, fuck, I used it on the second day of the year already. Well, also what they had was if you were not

a real high priest and you went into this thing and said the name, you would just die instantly. And so when the Romans took over, we'll appoint the high priest, we'll do our bidding. And then they went in and he died every year. Because he would say it? He would say it and they're like, you're not the one. Oh. That's after the're not the one. Oh.

Yeah. That's after the first revolt or whatever. Wow. Let's see what we got here. This is at the end of the Sea of Galilee. Where are you? That's me, a second from right. The one bent over, hunched?

Yeah, hunched over a little bit. In the Sea of Galilee. Oh yeah, so the thing was you had to take. You guys looked like you were having so much fun. So that was one of the better moments of my life. I can't deny that. But you had, so you would take a bottle of water from the Mediterranean sea and pour it into the sea of Galilee. That was a sea to sea. Apparently this is the thing that a

lot of Israelis do in their like late high school, early college period of their life before they go in the army or after a lot of them did this hike or whatever. So that was, that was, that was after four or five days. No showering My friend in the middle her was the one whose feet were like exploding She had she had so much pus that if you would poke the bottom of her feet it would just shoot out This pus would just like shoot across the room. Her feet were just like sponges of pus. It was Insane it was some some was some parasite of some sort. Yeah, I was not.

I'm trying to see what things here are. Oh wait, where's this? Where's this? Oh, I can't find the, oh here's a little Tel Aviv. A little Tel Aviv time. Is that a naked lady? I think that was me seeing a gay man. I think it was probably from the Midwest

I hadn't seen gay men honestly were they even gay or they just made they might have just been like European or Israel it was a cohen Oh so hand yeah a lot of that going on we look at zoom in on that guy's that guy's bathing suit I mean not much going on. I mean it's not much going on a topless chick So in my there were some oh see I see, I think that's what I was zooming in on, that woman's top. That was huge for me. That was huge for me. What a sag bottom blues there.

I did, Tel Aviv was, it's not really, beaches aren't really my scene, but Tel Aviv is like a wild city. I mean, it's just like a wild, it's their Miami. It's just like a wild, hedonistic, like they just, they just go for it. But we went skinny dipping at night. That's not the story you hear about Israel at all. That, that the club scene in Tel Aviv,

but that is, that's what everyone talked about. That's it. So I feel like Jerusalem is kind of like Holy people don't really party there that often. Tel Aviv is like the party. And then Haifa is like the one multicultural city. That's the one city where like Arabs and Jews live side by side in relative harmony. Yaffo is okay. I think Yaffo too, but it's Haifa and Yaffa are like the main two.

And Haifa is where the Baha'i gardens are. I didn't get to go there. Oh, right. Because Baha'i is such an interesting religion. I don't know enough about Baha'i, but it was... Here's what I understand. Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong, whatever. but what I'm saying is actually, if it's not real, someone should start this one up.

Yeah, yeah. They say there are similarities between all religions. Yes. And not in every religion, but you see the ones that are in every religion, or most religions, Dasha'an Naqeel is a pretty, Christians have that, Muslims have that, Jews have that. So that's probably a more direct word of God thing.

Oh, they found all the similarities. No bacon, maybe you have that in a couple religions. So maybe. You can't mix linen and wool, and that's just one religion. Right, that's bullshit. It's probably a misinterpretation somewhere along the line. The flood stories in every religion, so there was probably a great flood at some point.

So that's what Baha'i thinks, or my religion says, it was like, if you see these similarities, it's probably before it got sidetracked through war and everything. It's probably a little filtering down from God, the true God. Wasn't he killed by the Ottomans, the Baha'i guy? Oh really? The Baha'i prophet. It's a new religion. It's only in the 1800s. It's one of the few that are allowed into Israel and do whatever you want. Them and the Druze are kind of there too. I don't know enough about them either.

The Samaritans too. There's like a thousand of them left or something like that. See if there's one thing I remember from Haifa. I think it was there. Yeah. It was like an artist city. Was that Haifa? It's very artisty. Yeah. Very. Was it Na Nach, Nachman, Nachman, Muaman? Was it that guy? Who is that? Nachman, Muaman is I don't know, but you say every syllable of his name. Na Nach, Was it not not not my not my mom on was it that guy what who is that not my mom is I don't know but you say every syllables name nah Was he an artist or something? How do you spell that I would have no idea how to begin to spell that

One oh shit No, this guy. Oh, yeah, I'll like do any exit out unplug it Oh, nah knock knock my knock my mom on yeah, I'll like do any exit out unplug it. Oh, no knock knock ma knock man. No, man Yeah, you say it out loud. You say the whole thing. There's signs everywhere saying it to make you say it Oh, it's like it's kind of like a like this guy's got it's like a John Jacob Jingleheimer Like a little wordplay game. Oh, it's the breast love. What's a breast love? It's a community it's like the Sotmers and the The the ones that say we want ones that would say we want Messiah now,

we want Messiah now. Oh, yeah. It's like a splinter group of Judaism kind of? Yeah. Like the Christian Messiah group? It's just their section. Oh, okay. Yeah, the Babich, that's the one with the,

we want Messiah now. And they keep saying this ma, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah, see that's na, na, na, but his word is Naachman. but they just say each syllable out loud. What does Nahman mean? It's his name. Oh, it's just this guy's name who started the Splinter Group or whatever.

I just remember being everywhere. I'm surprised it's still in my brain. That is crazy. I've never heard, I gotta look up that Wikipedia link. That sounds great. I'm into that. I love all the Splinter Groups. I love that shit who was knockman

knockman Moaman Is a cabalistic formula based on the four Hebrew letters of the name knockman referring to the founder of the breast of movement Brain it's like a sub. It's like a Hassid group from, from Ukraine. They're colloquially known as the non-Aks. Oh, okay. Wow, that's not bad. That sounds badass actually, non-Aks. I like, if you got a, that's how you get a religion going, a snappy little phrase like that,

that you're repeating it 20 years later or whatever. You haven't thought about it and it's in your brain. They did something. I mean, over 20 years it's in there. They did something to you there. That's amazing. Try to, Who's that slut in the bottom left? Oh, that's my friend Ashley. in over 20 years has been there. They did something to you there. That's amazing. Who's that slut in the bottom left?

Oh, that's my friend Ashley. What a fucking hot slut. She was, Ashley was cool. Ashley was cool. This is, they made them, I guess Lisa didn't cover up. Yeah, my friend. You have a cigarette in your hand? No, that's somebody's shit.

No, that's, God, I have this fucking douchey cloth belt. What a dork belt. What a dork belt. Oh, it's so embarrassing. I remember that style. What year was this? 2010, that's, God, I have this fucking douchey cloth belt. What a dork belt, what a dork belt. I remember that style, what year was this? 2010 I think, 2011 maybe. Oh, actually it was too late for that. No, I was not, it was not in style at all. God, I can't find this picture of us sunburned. We got so sunburned in Tel Aviv that like,

all my skin peeled off. It was disgusting. Really? I got like third degree degree or whatever degree burns all over my body. These are mostly just pictures of us partying now that I see it. I mean, this trip was bad ass. It was insane. What I was saying about Tel Aviv, I forgot to say we went skinny dipping at night, like one night, but like apparently there's like Portuguese manna war jellyfish everywhere. We hadn't been to the ocean during the day.

So we just skned up tonight. Then the next day we went there and they're like, oh, you can't swim, there's these poisonous jellyfish everywhere. And we, only by the grace of God, did not get stung by one and die. Like it's almost like insane that we didn't die while we were skinny dipping that night, which is crazy.

I'm trying to think, these are mostly other, oh this is, yeah this is me, hiking. Yeah these are all gonna be, are you about to run out of space? I did, but Toby made me do a backup mic and this is why. Oh so it's still going? The other mic is going. Oh here we go, oh so mine is done?

No no no, it's a main recording and then we record it back. Oh nice, Toby smart, Toby smart. Toby smart saved this last night, who knows how long it was for. That's huge. User error's gonna be bigger it back. Oh nice, Toby Smart. Toby Smart saved us last night, who knows how long in this one. That's huge. He was gonna be big on this one. Look at you, fucking what a punk backpacker.

This is me mid-hike, there we go. Dude, that water bottle is the sign of a young hostile staying. Yeah, I was. That two liter bottle. We were staying in hostels everywhere. Wow. I like the hostile life, a lot of people, I still do it. I love it. I was doing it in Guatemala. You're up in like a month, I'm staying in hostels everywhere. I like the hostel life. A lot of people, I still do it.

I love it. I was doing it in Guatemala. I'm doing Europe in like a month. I'm still, I'm staying in hostels most nights. Good for you. It's fun. Forget cheaper, obviously cheaper. Obviously a worse sleep. But best way to meet people. Great way to meet people. Now in my older days, I don't do the 16 bedroom. I do the four, six bedroom instead. Yeah, you like, I'll pay $3 extra.

Yeah, it's like. When I was in Guatemala, it was the last time I did it, and I had to lie about which, because it was two big dorms and then two privates. I was like, wait, which one are you in? I'm like, the other one, not yours. I didn't want to see which guy, because they had $12 for the night and they only had four. So what a deal. If you travel outside of America and you stay in a hotel, I don't really respect you all that much. It's not really traveling.

In my opinion, if you're under 40, if you have kids, sure. Stay in a hotel. If you're there for the night, okay. I mean, occasionally you can stay in a hotel, but you got to get the hostile experience. And you find out what to do. What's going on here? Where's the night market? They'll actually know where to go. Like instead of like Googling, they'll tell you the restaurants and then the locals will be like,

oh no, that place fucking sucks. It's a tourist trap, it's a B or whatever. It was good two years ago, and then the new owners, they've marked it. Oh my god, and you go on these, they always have pub crawls they organize with the people and stuff. I didn't do that as much in Israel,

but that was more Ireland, but they have it everywhere. It's always Australians too in the hostels. It's always these drunk Australians. I think I would hate them now, but when I was 21, they were the coolest people to ever live. I'm writing an essay on this, on which race, not race, sorry, nationality you want in your hostels and why.

Oh, I think Australians are out there. And also the worst. Because if they get out of hand, and they're very racist. They're very racist. But they really know how to party. They're ready to go at every hour of the day. They might be a little barfy.

Sure, they'll get a little barfy. I don't know if you're like, well we do. If you're a woman, maybe don't go alone with an Australian boy or whatever, but they're good people, they're good, they are fun. Always funny. I'm trying to think of what else we do. I think that kind of covered a lot.

The Petra thing, we won't talk about that. We'll do that another time. I mean, Israel, I was there for what, two months I think. You'd recommend, I assume. It is great, it's an amazing place. It's crazy the rap it gets versus the reality of when you're just there outside of the borderlands. Right, oh my God, there was no danger.

We were there actually, there was no violence. We were there two months, there was nothing. It was completely peaceful. I maybe I had something to do with that You I know it caused an effect who knows but yeah, you don't I mean you you see in the news like oh It's all a war it bombs everywhere, but yeah Uber driver yeah, I was like, how was it? It's like where you from? He said that I was like, oh well This was like five years ago. Yeah, and I was like, he's a family It was like, where are you from? He said that. I was like, oh, whoa. This was like five years ago. And I was like, you saw a family? They goes, yeah, I go back and visit.

I'm like, you can go back and visit? He's like, yeah, it's fine. I'm like, what? Oh, dude, that's just the mountains. Yeah, that's the Huty. They don't, he probably lives in Aden or something. Yeah, Aden's like a cosmopolitan city. It's a separate airport.

We just don't even do that. Yeah, we, it's just like how we judge, like you look at a political map, you're like, red state, blue state, it's like, not everyone in Oklahoma hates a borscht. Yeah, Madison is so liberal. Madison's so liberal and then. And then like, Apple couldn't not as much.

Yeah, it's like, things are different. Yeah. We, well, that's just how we understand the world. It makes the world easier to understand. If we're like, every. But then you miss. Square inch of Yemen is the same. But you misconstrue,

because you're like, oh, New York's so liberal, like, no, no, no, no, drive 45 minutes. Or talk to anyone over 50. Talk to like a firefighter from the Bronx who lives in Throgs Neck or whatever. It's funny. So where else are you looking to go? What's next on the neck? Well, I really want to go to Georgia.

I really want to. Interesting. That was, that's been my dream to go to, I I really want to. Interesting. That's been my dream to go to, I was actually going to teach English there. And then there was like some political turmoil and they cut the funding and that's why I started stand-up comedy. It's because I couldn't go to Tbilisi.

Because that's like where like wine began. There's like a, Georgia has a very ancient history. That's where Jason and the Argonauts, where they were sailing and stuff. I met a guy at a writing class and he was a nomad. He was living in Hawaii. He said he saw a direct line to the end of his life, golf every day, drinking with friends.

And he goes, nah, we gotta mix this up. So now he's a nomad. Wow. He lives in Tbilisi. He lives there? Just for a while. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. For six months when I met him.

I've heard it's amazing. Cheap and nice. Yeah, I really wanna go there. You can't really go cheap cheap like really nice. Yeah, I really want to go there I'm you can't really go to Armenia. No, I don't maybe you can't I don't know. I love to go to our hearts I've been to Turkey Turkey was great. I'm going to Iran. I would love I mean I would love to go to Iran And I was like, isn't that and she goes it's 12 regions of the six that you can't go to right? They tell you which ones ahead and it's again. We think they're all just like these Sharia law We hate women. they're mostly like Iran used to be like. I had to put on some places other places

fine. Iran in like the 70s it was like the most cosmopolitan place on earth like Tehran. Beirut and Lebanon. Beirut and Tehran were like where everyone partied in the 60s and 70s. It was like known as and Shiraz is supposed to be just beautiful. Isahan is like supposed to be one of those beautiful cities in the mountains They're supposed to be great for hiking. Oh, I bet. Oh, I couldn't even imagine I would love I mean like I want to go to yeah, like Tajikistan would be amazing because it's like that's the Himalayas and shit That yeah, that's that's India and China fought over that. It's like uninhabited glaciers at 20,000 feet in the air. I think India owns it. I think India does own it now because they they fought the highest elevated war of all time over

that land. They were like fighting at like 23,000 feet for like this it's like what are we doing? They checkers over it. Yeah why are you like people? you the people's also happen? That that's the that is in China. I think that's in India. That's Pakistan and that's that's the Kashmir. Wow, I think Pakistan Has most of that they've gone to war twice over that. Yeah. I mean, well, do you know a Bangladesh and Pakistan used to be the same country? No, just they were separated. Wow, that's a long way to go. That's when India partitioned in 1947, they just made all the Muslims go here or there.

That's fucking D.C. to St. Louis. Yeah, no, it's insane. That's why Bangladesh, they rebelled. They're like, we're not gonna put up with you as Pakistan had all the power, and like, why would we listen to you? You're 2,000 miles away. It's crazy. I mean, God, I could look at a map forever though this is fun this is

awesome this is great yeah and you forget how fucking massive Russia is forget you forget I mean look at this area like nothing there yeah that's what we're all gonna go and climate change hits there's just so much land an island called October Revolution. That's you got to hand it to the Russians. And then you got to hand it to Norway for keeping this. You know Russia. No, when Denmark for owning Greenland still, they that that's a hundred times the size of Norway. That's Norway. It's like, damn, you find this little thing. Anyway, that's great.

Do you have any travel tips? Travel tips, always stay in the hostel, always listen to the locals, always don't just, they're always, the thing people always do they go on like these like bus tours of the cities, those are always trash. It's like, maybe once go to it the first day, but do your own thing. Don't like, don't buy a tour or like go on a trip where you stay with the same people the whole time. That's lame. We're gonna bring this up when we do Jordan

because we were on one and I kept at it. My brother like, ditch them, let's go! Yeah, you can't. It's just you. They just got us here. Let's go! You miss it. You miss it. Yeah. Also, I think, selling my parents, people think the world is so dangerous,

but it's just like we were saying, it's just not as dangerous as you think it is. Like I went to the West Bank, I went to Israel. Like Jordan, we were in Egypt during the, that was during the Arab Spring. We were in Sinai while the Arab Spring was happening. Nothing, just hiking, having a good time. It's just like when people are like,

I used to live in Chicago, everyone's like, oh, Shirek, I never saw a crime committed. It's not as bad as you think it is. They want you to be scared, enjoy the world. They want you to, they're trying to scare you. I love that. Yeah. All right, well, Jeffery Osmas, he's got a special

on YouTube if you want, it's still there, hold on, let me see if I remember it. I didn't look it up for this. It's okay. Greatest white comedian. Very close, the only funny white man. Only funny white man. The only funny white man. Go on there, donate some money to him. If you've been to Israel and you have a memory or something or some, some, anything, leave

a comment on the YouTube of this, Yubi Trippin Pod on YouTube. And, and if you want to go to his account and watch a special, Jeffreys, why don't you leave a is a Jeffrey ATM on Instagram And white comedian.com. That's my website. I bought it years ago Joke that keeps on giving nice and I have a podcast called you're an idiot. That's a fun time. That's cool every Monday Yeah, you won't have to have you do it. Of course. I love to yeah april. Hell. Yeah. Um, thank you Thanks, buddy. Thank you. Yeah, that was awesome Well, that's the episode everybody. Um, oh here Thank you. Yeah, that was awesome. I loved it. That was awesome.

Well, that's the episode, everybody. Oh, here's what Med AI says about Jeffrey Osmus. Jeffrey Osmus, I spell it wrong, is a rising star in the comedy world known for his sharp wit and irreverent humor. His latest updates include a nationwide comedy tour in 2025 where he's performing at various venues across America. Fans can catch him live and enjoy his unique brand of comedy. It's not a unique brand.

Meta. Come on bro. Osmos has been making waves in the comedy scene since 2013. Oh, this is written by Jeffrey or his people. With notable performances just for laughs. His debut album, Prodigal Little Bitch, reached number one on iTunes in 2021. Yeah, find him at Jeffrey Osmus, A-S-M-U-S. I mean, you gotta be able to spell it.

You gotta be able to spell it. G-E-O-F-F-R-E-Y. Interesting note, when Jeff walked into my podcast studio, he saw, you know that the Fredolin shirt that's over the guest shoulder, black and red one with white? No one knows what that is, right? He knew it on sight.

He goes, oh, that's a Fredolin from the East Timor Revolutionary Group. He's such a science, like social science, political science, poli sci. Like guys, so into it. Here's a tour also whitecomedian.com for all his tickets. You can see him in coming up in Washington DC, Virginia Beach, Raleigh, Richmond, New York City, Wilmington, and then in March, New Brunswick, Chicago, Milwaukee, Appleton, New York, Grand Rapids, Ann Arbor, New York City, again San Francisco doing the doobly the punchline

and Cobb something I've been trying to do for a fucking a long time my Jews keep saying no can't be done and his Jews got it done in April Phoenix Denver San Antonio and then a May and June Austin Dallas Somerville Massachusetts in Portsmouth New Hampshire go to white comedian comm for everything so it's got two specials out the only funny white man on his YouTube page and there's new special on don't tell, um, on Instagram, he is G E O F F R E Y A T M ass to mouth. Jeffrey asked him out.

Didn't seem right. Oh, he's got a, he's got a, uh, you're an idiot pot every Monday. Well, I'm every Monday. So come to him later, I guess. How about that? How about that? Catch me outside. Cash me outside. I've got a tour too. Tampa, Denver, San Antonio just passed. And then I go to Denver, right? Tampa, Denver with, uh, column Tyrell, uh, Steve Simone's in Tampa with me. Uh, Schomburg, Illinois with Adrian, then home for three days. Then, uh, Atlanta, Portland, San Jose, second show added in Portland,

doing this by memory. Atlanta is a tabernacle. Get tickets for that right now. Very excited for that show. ATL, um, asked to laugh. Um, for that show, ATL, Ask to Laugh. And then Orlando's Fort Lauderdale, I'm missing something, San Jose's in there. I think that might be it. Seattle, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton to wrap it up, and then Anchorage in June as my last show of the year and then no shows in all of the rest of 2025 and all of 2026 and then 2027. If I'm in one of those cities, I ain't gonna be back there in 2027 either.

I've already done it except Denver. I've already done it. Denver is a greatest hit show. So if you have a greatest hits, if you have one of my leave in the comments below your favorite bit of mine, leave it in the comment or somebody started and then everyone responded. How about that? How about that?

Catch me outside. Next week, the RU Garbage guys together, they've been featured on separately, together. Talking about an epic trip on Route 66. Today's episode was produced by Your Mom's House Network, edited by Alan Caffe. All my tickets are at RUchauffeur.com. You can also see my new special, America's Sweetheart on Netflix right now.

I got a new shirt. I made a commercial for it already. The Go For A Hike shirt. Also the Stay Positive shirt and I believe all the Feidelberg shirts are out. Maybe they're still there. I did go into the merch place and signed a bunch of grinders for you and I signed 100 of the vinyls. So if you want a signed vinyl, they are back up now on there and then only like 400 left total. Ooh, maybe I'll do a reprint.

I don't know of Jew. I would like to tell you about some underrated things about Israel that I remember. I mean, I should do an Israel episode because my Israel is so much different than Jeffrey's. I was a religious student. I mean wildly different. I remember the Hikes. I remember Jerusalem a lot. I remember the shawarmas. They're delicious. The shawarma eshtenor. It's like a big it's pretty much a burrito. Eshtenor means

big. I don't know. But you had the pita, the Schwarm and pita, which was great. And then the Eshtenor, which was like, what the fuck? We had a monster challenge once I was there in high school. Everyone had to drink a monster, eat a monster, which was four brownies with four scoops of ice cream over a giant piece of cake. It was made for four people. And we just had to see if you could finish it. Whoever didn't finish it paid for everyone else's. One guy threw up and we made him drink it out of the bag to finish. Juice. Juice be juin'. My problem was earlier than a day, I mean like three hours before I got hungry and I ate a shawarma eshtenor. Not even a regular shawarma. So dumb. I failed. Me and two other people failed. Had to pay for everybody's.

Not great. Please follow me on Instagram at Ari Shaffir, at Ari Shaffir. I don't know, I post like podcast clips on there of not this podcast, but lots else. Guys, I'm gonna have a shit ton coming soon. I guess it's not worth saying. Next week for the RU Garbage episode, hopefully by next week I have a pretty massive announcement.

If it's not for the RU Garbage one, it's for the one after that. When Giulio Gallerotti finally comes in, we go to the Middle East and I wild one. He has got to come back. I've been looking forward to this forever. Anyway, those are the updates. That's it you guys. I'm not even going to tell you about the Patreon because I think we're almost wrapped up and got enough money to Send someone around the globe and I'm gonna start in earnest looking for who that person is It's not a patron might might be a patron not especially shut the patreon down Got another month to get involved And then we're gonna find someone to send her on a trip. I

Mean like a year-long trip. It's gonna be pretty exciting. I will tell you the things I missed out on. Maybe you saw the bumper there with the dates over in front of the nice gorgeous hotel and low frills, really low frills. No concierge, the Russell Hotel in Nashville. Look at that, fucking Boltons you guys. Underrated Nashville, fucking Boltons you guys Underrated Nashville fucking Boltons and I'm telling you I like spicy food

Don't get the hot get the medium It still killed me, but I got the hot last time with Adrian and then age Oh, you got to send me a picture of that and it's just like I mean it's pouring sweat from under my eyes pouring sweat from On top of the head I can handle spicy food pouring sweat from under my eyes, pouring sweat from on top of the head. I can handle spicy food. We're at Bolton's Spicy Chicken in Nashville. Oh, you gotta take your hat off, you're sweating.

Bolton's. Wow. It must be hot out here. No, it's not that hot. We're just eating spicy chicken. Don't even get the extreme. Don't even get the extreme. I'm telling you, I like spicy food. Don't fuck around.

If you like spicy, get the medium at Bolton's. I honestly, if you don't like spicy spicy the mild might be too much for you Get the medium and I was still doing the head sweat Goddamn that fuck and then I did busting with the boys and those guys had it right they go listen you get it Right, and you're like, okay. I've satisfied it. It's not good, but you got a craving kind of like crack Kind of like I assume crack is not not the most amazing, but you just want it over and over again Fuck howdy bees. I mean, it's good. Don't get me wrong. How do you booze is great? I shouldn't say that but Bolton's man Whoo?

It's more ghetto and you can taste it in there It just gets ya. Wow. And they give you two slices of white bread, you're like white bread with nothing. And then you're like trying to soak up your mouth. On the medium! I'm a spicy food guy! Saw a great new band. The Deltas with a Z, very mellow. East Austin saw him at Jane's Hideout. Fucking cool spot. Not even a cover chart, just like eat jambalaya. Eat jambalaya and go Nashville. Dude, some of these cities,

and I gotta do an apology to Austin too. And probably Vegas. You know how the hardcore, well it started with the Muslims and everyone's like Muslims without peace but it's like that's not the ones we saw. The ones we saw are bomb and shit. So you have this fringe group that's speaking for the whole group and then you have the angry liberals and they're these fringe groups are speaking for the main but they're not.

The main doesn't like support what the super crazies do for the liberals and the same thing for the conservatives whatever that project 2025 is nobody no conservative you know is into that that's just these crazy fringes they're just not into it i don't want to start a fight don't weigh in i don't really know what i'm talking about i'm using as a metaphor but all the ones who are like who are like i want to put trans people in jail that's none of the conservatives you know. And none of the liberals you know are like, it's just not that, that's the shit online they're showing you.

And these cities are showing you something that doesn't really speak for it. They're showing you their downtown area. If it was New York, it'd be like showing you only Times Square and saying this is New York City. It's not New York City. And Austin is not Sixth Street. I begged Rogan not to open there, he didn't listen and and and Nashville is not Broadway. At

least Broadway of all them is based on something. 6th Street in Austin is based on nothing. Times Square is based on in between the two I guess. But just trash and nobody you know fucking goes there. It's disgusting. So I finally went outside in Nashville, away from Broadway, and it rules. The bar scene is awesome. That's all I'm talking about. The, what do they call it?

Resale, the cheap clothing that other people wore for a while. Thrift store. Oh, it's great out there in Nashville. Nashville, listen, overrated, un-underrated. Let's talk to Joe Lisbo. What's the most overrated cities? Nashville's up there.

Austin for sure. Las Vegas, Miami. But also, if it is overrated, at some point it's gonna be missing out on, just like Austin, away from Sixth Street, is still cool. And SoCo is also fucking lame. Any tourists go which is everywhere hey guys Austin sucks but there are some cool spots you just got to find them Nashville also you just got to find those cool spots it's a fucking massive city that's not what

it's based on hey Dashbury ain't San Francisco right that's what they sold it on oh look at these beatniks the beatniks have been gone for a long time it's just tech bros now that's what Austin is too and Nashville is overrun by fucking conservative talking point people It ain't what he used to be when I started going there was 800,000 people and now it's two points something million So any of the people you knew from Austin are in Nashville. I mean are the minority now It's the reality with these cities you got to redo you got Now New York stays the same. New York is the best city. A lot of rats though. Anyway guys, I don't know what I'm saying.

The point is go visit Israel. It's beautiful. You can get away from, and I know how come you didn't talk about the politics? That's not what he was doing there. He wasn't doing that there. So we stayed very clear of the politics with Osmas. Very clear.

We're talking about his experience. I'm not interested in that shit. And that's why if you didn't listen to my Tucker Carlson fucking thing, or my Burt Kreischer fucking episode, or any of the people that you thought he had a predisposition for, we're not doing what they're known for.

We're doing travel stuff. We're focusing on what's best in the world. I'm not gonna get bogged down in an episode about Israel and all the great shwarma with talks about who should be running the governments on either side. We're just talking about what you did in Israel. And if all you did was fucking pray in front of the koto, then so be it. And if all you do is fuck hookers, then great. It's got a great Mali vibe. I don't have to give you the whole fucking thing. I'm not doing that. But if you're here for experiential shit

from different places with a little bit of like, maybe I'll try to do that, then this You Be Trippin' podcast is for you. Please subscribe, please leave a comment to let me know if you think there's any people I should have on this podcast that I don't know about. Trying to get Gary Clark Jr. I'm trying to get Tim Ferriss in.

Obviously he should be on. You know, ton of people. Obviously Billy Strings would be cool, but I don't know where he's been to be honest. I don't know if he'd be the right one. Man, he rules. Anyway, everybody. Chris Williamson, Lux Friedman.

Who are the people in Austin that are like away from the standup people that would be good? McConaughey probably got into it. Anyway, I'm open to suggestions. I'm Ari Shaffir. This has been You Be Trippin' in Israel. Until next week, with the RU Garbage Guys going to America, because they're trash, I'm Ari Shaffir saying, Lahit Shroud.

I thought I was going to say Shalom, but Lahit Shroth. I thought I was gonna say Shalom, Lahit Shroth is better. Okay. Wow, 14 minutes. Bye everybody!