You Be Trippin' - London, England w/ Tim Dillon | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

Follow Tim on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ SPONSORS: -Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @‌MUDWTR with code TRIPPIN at http://mudwtr.com/TRIPPIN ! #mudwtrpod -Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/trippin -Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @‌Ridge with code ARI at https://www.Ridge.com/ARI #Ridgepod Catch Tim on stage at http://www.timdilloncomedy.com and check out his podcast The Tim Dillon Show everywhere you get your podcasts. On this episode of You Be Trippin, Tim Dillon spends time in London investigating the wealthiest criminals in the world and exposing “human hunts” in a country where the plays aren’t good and “nothing is possible”. On the show, he and Ari talk about traveling with Sam Tallent, Putin killing people, and Ellen DeGeneres. Other topics include: AA Gill, celebrity, the best neighborhoods, empty glass condos, and the fact that well-travelled people are actually really dumb. Cheerio! You Be Trippin' Ep. 66 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:10 - Fat People & Well-Traveled Dummies 00:06:06 - Traveling with Sam Tallent & Not Being Allowed in 00:16:25 - Dark London & Putin Killing People 00:20:31 - Author A. A. Gill, Wealthy Criminals, Dumb Italians 00:23:59 - More Wealthy Criminals & Class 00:37:54 - Theater, Ronald McDonald, & Complaining Brits 00:40:40 - What They Think of America & Celebrity 00:47:56 - Food 00:51:31 - Ellen DeGeneres, The Cotswolds, & Human Hunts 00:59:00 - What Ari's Worried About in London & Comedy Scene Changing 01:06:30 - What to Like About London & Really Expensive 01:10:13 - Neighborhood to Live in & Moving There 01:17:35 - What Tim Likes About America & What He Doesn't Like About London 01:27:01 - Wrapping Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know what I realized? This is the gayest I've ever seen you. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Yes. Perhaps. Maybe why it stands out a little bit. That's what it is. Yeah. I used to dress very like, like, uh, like I was a dock worker. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I was season two of the wire. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one no one really loved. No, I know. But everyone, they're taking chances. And everyone was like, no, it's good. Sorry, I'm just shutting this off.

That's all right. And everyone was like, no, it's actually good. You just don't get it. And it's like, no, it's not good. That's what they say about Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. And so many comics too where they're like, no, he's out there.

He's like a Kaufman-esque. That's what they say, you just don't get it. Yeah, I like some of it. I don't know. I find as you get older, and this could be me, my opinions on music are not nearly as strong as they were. I like who gives a fuck. I don't care anymore.

Dude, I love when you got Kendrick or Drake, I'm like, I don't know, they both seem cool. I find that people that have a real opinion about that after a certain age, it's odd. Yeah. That's like a weird thing to go, I'm heavily invested in who wins this rap battle. I'm a 40 year old white guy, but I really care.

I'm on this team. I did when I was like 17, it was like 50 cent and Ja Rule or Nas and Jay Z or Jadakiss and 50 cent. It was fun. But then you grow up and you kind of can't care as much. Do you ever just see some of these things? Because you've had like second, third cycles of like the same thing. Yeah. In politics or music or whatever. And you go, I know what you guys are doing. You guys just drumming up like business for each other. The whole world seems like that.

Like you have Justin, the Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni thing. And you're like, isn't that kind of like Johnny Depp Amber Heard? Right. And you're like, isn't, it's like a thing everybody's getting involved in. Yeah, we all have to, we've all been assigned this.

This is our new OJ. And it's like, that's weird. Now they're talking about going into Iran. And you're like, didn't we do that? I've heard it's great hiking that's weird. Now they're talking about going into Iran and you're like, didn't, didn't we do that? I've heard it's great hiking. Is that what trumps really all about the national parks? And they're talking about that and you go,

but didn't we do this? Didn't we do that already? Didn't we do this? Yeah. That's how Israel, Palestine. Like the peace thing with the Gaza and Israel. And you're like, we did it. We had a handshake.

They had a handshake. Yeah. I'm like, I, I don't know. It feels like they've done this. Yeah. It was a handshake. It was somebody in a suit and somebody in a fucking black and white tablecloth can do, which people don't want to hear. Yeah. The only thing you can really do and is check out. And no one wants to hear that. Meaning like, I love it. You have to check you actually for your own sanity, have to check out a little bit and go, Oh yeah, I'm not going to get invested in every fucking thing.

show. Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today. It's UB Trippin. Yeah. Welcome to UB Trippin everybody. It's a travel podcast. It's the only travel podcast that has both fats and thins in the same room together. Wait a minute. That can't be true. It's the only travel podcast with fats and thins. Yeah. I mean, that seems, what a, by the way, what a claim. What a claim to make. I guarantee there are, there's definitely a travel podcast with a fat chick and her gay friend.

They are really mad right now. By the way, can we be honest about traveling for a minute? Because this is going to make you very angry and upset. I'm going'm going to tell you something. I wonder how you're going to take it because I'm not, I'm not. No, there's the party. There's like 75 podcasts about traveling. All fat is such a great way to sell the size. Pork hoppers, the fat chicks at Disney world. I mean, you're, you're, you're, you're not even in the top 10 of these and you've platformed some fatties on this. And still, I think some of the dumbest people I know are the most well traveled.

Interesting. Let me think, because I'm leaning towards agreeing. Yeah, explain. Some of the dumbest, some of the people that when they talk, they have such a superficial knowledge of something. They don't really, they really lean on this idea that they're well traveled, and they'll say things like, when I was in Kuala Lumpur, but they're never

in any of these places long enough to actually know anything important from them. Cultural, they're just like, They serve this kind of food. They are doing this as a way to seem interesting without acquiring any knowledge. Not you, because you actually will plant in places and stay there and learn shit. But I've met the people you're talking about. Yeah, they just kind of blow. They're like they're blown around the world. Yeah. You know, and I feel like

they're not. Is there something wrong? No, I actually surprised I thought maybe there would be but there's not okay good. Yeah, they go out there they they co-opt a word or street name. I'm unimpressed always by somebody who and then they throw in your fucking face. They throw in your face. That's where you've been. They throw in your face, they ask you where you've been, but they don't care. They don't care. They're only saying that.

It's a method to get to me. To tell you how much shit they know, and they never know anything. They never know anything. I went on a hike in Ecuador, and this guy we were with kept trying to do these leading questions. Yeah. He goes, what's your favorite mountain range?

And I was like, I don't have, what's your favorite mountain range? Oh, the Andes, I just love them. I was like, what the fuck kind of question is that? Just say I love the Andes. I just always say something racist. I go, what's the white one? What's the one where it's mainly white people?

Appalachia, probably my favorite is Appalachia. What are the mainly white people? So where do you wanna probably my favorite is Appalachia. Mainly white people. So where do you wanna go today? What should we do? We're talking about London. So you travel some though. I have to, it's for the job, but I like it. Yeah, but you go more.

I've talked to your, let's see, your Robin, your travel Robin. Who's that? Same talent. I love him. Yeah. He is the best. Yeah.

We might do a tour of Asia, it'll make no money. But I wanna do it. And I wanna do it only with Sam Talent. I don't know if I told you this. Just cause you said Asia and travel. Your recommendation in Melbourne for that Peking Duck place? Great. Great.

Yeah. Solid. And they're all from Sam. Oh really? So Sam, really for the most part, is my Sherpa. He leads me, and we've gone out to Europe twice. Okay. And we've gone to Australia once. And he has.

He just researches what to do where, when? Well he's been all over the world and he knows everything and I trust him. And we have fun. Like we were in the south of France and we're sitting eating rotisserie chicken at a restaurant that was closed. We didn't know that there were just seats outside.

And then a woman came out with a broom and started hitting us and screaming. And we ran down the street. We were in the same town. These two big guys running down the street like a cartoon and a woman screaming and is hitting us with a broom screaming in Nice, France We went to Noma in Copenhagen the greatest restaurant in the world been there with Bobbitt Kelly and Sam talent did that

We went we performed at Royal Albert Hall in the UK. How did you get no mad dress? Oh stop we have connections I should get no address. Oh, come on, stop. We have connections. We have connections. We had to get off a wait list. They were like, we met them that day. We texted, here's what happened. We actually don't know how it happened.

He texted everyone he knew, and I texted everyone I knew, and we don't know who did it. But they called you. Yes, we just cast a wide net. I was like, I texted Matty Matheson, that chef guy. I texted people in New York. I texted people everywhere. Someone got us in.

I don't know if it was a combination of people. Dinner or lunch? Dinner. It's amazing. It's amazing. It takes you so fucking long to eat. But you never have to go back. Isn't that interesting? You do so fucking long to eat, but you never have to go back Isn't that interesting? You do not ever have to I never have to 15 years later

It's closed now my 15 years later You can be like let me try to get my uncle's in the restaurant business And he goes the thing about restaurants like that and he goes You know he would go to some of the best restaurants in New York and he go it'll be closed in a year And I go why and he goes you don't have to go back Because there's nothing craveable because it's like a great show on Broadway you don't have to see it again so that's why I felt where's that I think it says no more but no way that's not it that's not it's no mod this is no mo yeah this is something

else what's his trash yeah that's it's right there. It's the wood go down. That's it. Yeah. They space out the table so you don't have to sit too near people. It's getting we can get in more people, but like that's not your experience. You want we went there. We went we performed in Finland on the border of Russia during the Ukraine war and we asked to go to St. Petersburg to have chicken kiev and they said, we're a NATO country and you cannot travel to Russia. And I said, why not?

And they said, Russia's in a war with the Ukraine. And I said, that has nothing to do with me. I'm going, I wanna have chicken kiev. And they said, we're a NATO country. I said, no, no, no, you're not understanding. I'm actually not a NATO. I'm a- And you're not even a country.

And I'm not a country. I'm a- And you're not even a country. And I'm not a country. Yeah. I have no stake in this war. I hope it ends, but I'd actually like to have chicken kebab. And then they were like yelling at me in the lobby of the hotel, so I started yelling back at them.

You should have invaded. You should have done- I was not allowed. My private jet guy would not let me, because I called him, I go, hey, can you get me a flight in Russia? Because no one will do it. It's right on Russia, dude. It's for Ari. It was 45 minutes away. St. Peter's. It's one of the most country who get this flight. I agree with you. This

flight. No, there's not not from NATO countries. You they're not you have no you have to go to Dubai or Turkey. You can't do anything. You have to fly to Dubai or to Turkey. You fly economy to Russia, right? I never government was. Why would I fly economy nowhere? Show results. They can't even show me the results. No, no, no. Are you new to this? That you're not allowed to go to Russia. But people, you can go through Dubai or Turkey. You, you cannot go from a NATO country. So I was pissed off. Like I kind of got an argument with the person about it. Hotel guy. Yeah, he was being, he was being mean.

That's not also you work in the service industry. You work in the hospitality. I'm telling you, I want to go to Russia. I'm a guest. Make it happen. I'm a guest. I want to go to Russia. I'm a guest. Make it happen. I'm a guest. I have East Saint Laurent sunglasses. I'm trying to go to Russia, they're Louis Vuitton. I'm trying to go to Russia so I can have a chicken kebab. Sorry. It's not about politics. I'd like to apologize.

And that's, they're pissed off. So then by the way, I had to sheepishly order room service. So after all that happens, after all that happens and I got to call down and pretend like I'm not the guy that just got in a screaming match with him about NATO and I have to go, hey. So because I can't have chicken Kiev.

So I'll have the roast chicken and the potatoes. Is there somewhere here I can get chicken Kiev? Hey, anyway. I decided I don't want chicken at all. And you've been a wonderful help to help me realize that. We went to Finland, we went to Sweden, to Stockholm. We performed there, we performed in. I did a podcast with Bobby Kelly about Cuba

and I wanted to get some Cuban beers while we did. I was Sean Pat, but I was, and I called the Astor Liquors, I was like, can you get Cuban liquor or beers? They're like, no. I'm like, you don't want to get some? They go, sir, there's been a 70 year embargo on Cuba. No one will have Cuban liquor. I'm like, oh right. Right.

They're still doing that? They're still fucking doing it. You're still doing that? Oh, yeah, they're still doing that. Ukraine, that's gotta be ended, right? Biden's out. They're still doing that? I thought Biden's out, I thought we're done with that're done with that silly hey guys I'm gonna break in real quick to let you know a little bit about our guests Tim Dylan springtime's in the

air everybody it's rebirth it's newness and what better way to celebrate that spring season than a brand new special kind of tipping your hat to rebirth Tim Dylan's new Netflix special, I'm Your Mother. That's right, your mother gave birth to you and Tim Dillon's giving birth to great comedy. Check it out on Netflix.com right now. I think they're still drop shipping DVDs to your door. You can keep it for up to five days and then send it back. You can get up to three at any time and if they are delayed, if they only have like,

let's say, disc two in a three to series so it's such just three first and let you have nothing to do with this too because it's It's just like it was really it's a shitty system. What they have now is actually a lot better he's also gonna be in Kerry North Carolina at the Charlotte improv of the machines with the Raleigh improv in May get tickets at Tim dillon.com and I Don't know he just hasn't tore much those shows are probably already sold out it's a club and he's a massive fucking theater comic um god it's always fun to have him around myself i'm kind of done with my tour i got uh one gig

july 12th in charlestown west virginia and another gig juneth and Anchorage, Alaska and that's it for me. Those are my final ones. So I don't know, see me around the city doing little spots. By the way, don't don't count on me being there. If better shit comes up like a fun Yankee game ticket or something, I'm doing that instead. I'm not building towards a special now. So it's 50 50 whether I'll show up in town. I'm just telling you that if that means like, well, then I'm not gonna buy a ticket, then don't.

But I will be there in Charlestown, West Virginia in July and Anchorage, Alaska in June. Also subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast or watching it. Please help me get to 200,000 subscribers. Also, people who leave into the comments guest suggestions, which I really like. And I've been reaching out to a lot of these people

and a lot of them have come back with positive fucking outlooks So leave a comment in this in the in the in the if you're watching on YouTube It's a scrap trying to get to 200,000 subscribers. Help me out. But uh, yeah least who would be good and what? Israel Asanya somebody said because he trained in China I bet he has some cool interesting China stories or people that want to Brittany Griner's a good example of Russia People tell me about some journalists that we got arrested in Prague. I'm like okay this is the kind of shit I'm talking about. I'd like to know this and anyway every third person knows who I am. Sixth person. I'm not that big and then

and then they'll be like oh yeah sure I'd love to do that. It should be cool. So please keep sending your suggestions. If you know any like actor, athlete, writer, musician who's like been to a fun weird place that you know about, let me know. Richard Dr. Benedict Cumberbatch. That's not one that's gonna write me back. He's way bigger than I am. He doesn't know I exist. Almost can guarantee you that. So he's not coming in. But you know who might come in? John Ronson. Great writer. You know who might come in? Oliver Trees. You know who might come in? Bald and Bankrupt. Anyway, please keep doing it. I'll try to leave a

comment saying give your guest guess suggestions here and also keep Nominating any episode you see for a trippy Best episode if you see one since January not before best episode best trip most surprising guests best food experience drugs Biggest piece of shit. I'm trying to think what are the other trippies were Anyway, let's get back to the episode. I hope you guys are enjoying this. I know I am every single week.

Tim Dillon gave a very interesting breakdown of London culture and British culture in general, especially the Illuminati stuff that he's so interested in. All right, let's get back to it. But you wanna tell me about where London is. I wanna talk about London. I find London to be one of the most, if not the most interesting city in the world.

I like that, but why, um, it seems to be the, every global trend is converging and London seems to be the place that all of them are manifesting. It's the financial capital halfway between New York and Asia. It's the most expensive city in the world.

People from all over the world hide their money in London. Oligarchss sheiks you know dictators you know people kind of like dark history of New York shit that you love yeah seems like it started there it started there yeah with my royalty with the Dukes and all that shit and not only did it start there it has grown into something now that is global in scale. Like shady people from all over the world are hiding their money in London, doing business in London,

putting their kids in prep schools in London to turn them into like proper British gentlemen. Oxbridge. All of that stuff. Eaton, all those schools. And all of these, you know, condos, homes, mansions, they're all bought under the name of a company. You don't know who owns any of them because they don't want, some of these guys are like

wanted for war crimes at the Hague. You know what I mean? Some of them like poison to river in Zambia. Some of them are wanted for like, you know, but you also London's the city where like Alexander Litvinenko is poised. The KGB poisons him with polonium 210 over tea. And he withers away in a London hospital poisoned with a biological agent, but Polonium's like a radioactive agent. He becomes very pale, he loses all of his hair.

He dies looking kind of like an alien, and he's a harsh critic of Putin, Boris Barazowski, all these oligarchs. I love Putin, personally. I've defended Putin for years, and all I wanted to do was have chicken kebab in St. Pete. But no, so all these oligarchs.

Yeah, like you ever see the Squid Game, the end of Squid Game, season one, whatever, and where all those like super billionaires come, and like we don't even look at each other. We don't even know each other. It seems like that's all there. Underneath though, that's not the surface. All these oligarchs flee the Soviet Union

when Putin, when it collapses. Putin brings them all into a room in the 90s, he goes over. Not the 90s per se, I forget the exact year, but after Yeltsin. That's it, get out, I'm taking over. He goes, it's over, he goes, listen, the way it's gonna work now is you gotta kick up to me,

you're gonna stop fleecing the country, and some of those people ended up fleeing going to work now is you got to kick up to me. You're going to stop fleecing the country. And some of those people ended up fleeing the vast majority of them. Some of them came to New York Brighton Beach, whatever, sheep setback. The vast majority of them go to London. And the stronghold of the Russian mafia,

which is like an international crime syndicate, it's not only Russians, it's people from all the ex-soviet republics right Moldova Lithuania Estonia the Ukraine whatever like people that are just they base themselves out of London and Putin pick some of them off you know what yeah they say something because they open their fat mouth. They bought a mink for their wife. Their chat, they were challenging his authority. They were organizing, you know, in his mind. This is what they did in Cuba.

They're like, let's get back in there. Right. Let's get back and take our ship back. Yeah. And he's like, I know you're coming now. So London's such an interesting place to me, because you have this concept of what it is. And it comes from, I don't know, Oliver Twist or something.

Yeah. And that's not what it is. So it might have been what it was and it's like comes from like, I don't know, Oliver Twist or something. Yeah, that's not what it is. So it might've been what it was at one time, but it's, there's no city to me. And AA Gill, who's one of the greatest travel writers of all time who died. AA Gill, if anyone wants to read anything, they should read AA Gill. I mean, he's the best. He's the guy and he's a British writer. I think he was originally Scottish.

Yeah, he was born in Edinburgh and he's the greatest travel writer in history. And really? Oh yeah. There's no one better than a Eagle. Oh, I got to ask. You have to read it. Okay. What should I start with? Condos of the Living Dead is an article that he wrote for Vanity Fair about the new buildings they were building in New York and how they were selling all these condos as a lifestyle and it's one of the funniest things that has ever written because it writes about the transformation of New York City into a global corporate hub

that's very kind of unremarkable and the architecture just being kind of glass and very corporate and that's what it is, you know, and he writes about it and he does it in a way that you know, that very did like an outsider can do and he's coming from London and going we're ahead of you guys in this. We've seen it. We know what's happening and you're you're just turning your city into a clearinghouse for billionaires from Europe and the Middle East. They're doing it in Berlin now. And that's what

they're doing in in Berlin and Europe. So London has kind of gotten all these trends first right? Right. It's become this playground for wealthy criminals a lot of them. Interesting. Billionaires, but also people that are incredibly dangerous and incredibly shady. And another great article, if you want to read, is about this 19-year-old dude who was thrown into the Thames River because he was pretending to be a Russian oligarch's son in London and he got into this crazy world of crypto.

Oh, I can't remember this. Yeah, and he was pretending to be this Russian oligarch's son in London because all around him is like the trappings of wealth and he's like, I'm like a humdrum guy, I have to lie. It's like the Italians are like, I'm connected and people are like, all right, better not fuck with him because what if he is?

Until they find out you're not connected. Right, but also Italians are dumb. So what's interesting here is that, no, but it's, I mean, what is going on by the way? Have you been on social media with every, all the Italian social media influencers? No, what? Like they're all making chicken pie. It's too much like they're acting like this Italian American culture is this

like thing that like people need to hear about. It's trash. It's promoting trash. We know what it is. I can do a chicken. Anyone can. Anyone. It comes from poverty. What are we doing? So and it's always like somebody who's like it's like it's like anyone. It comes from poverty. What are we doing? So and it's

always like somebody who's it's like it's always this crazy like Italian kids tell their mother I want it's like no one acts like that. No one says that you're doing a fake version of something they look at Sopranos the way retards look at Corky. Yes. Yes. That's it's, well, no, we were in that. I'm like, it was 20 years ago, bro. Get a new character. By the way, the best thing I've ever heard is

they blank blank like the way retards look at Corky. But so what I find, but when you go around London, are you looking at that? Are you sort of like, I know people like walk around Paris, like looking at the literature. I'm always like, I stay at this place, the Mandarine, it's in Knightsbridge. It's next to this building called One Hyde Park where they literally screen your mail for explosives.

Because a lot of the people in that building, people want to kill them. Who lives in One Hyde Park, like senators? No, like Saudi, like people like that. And then you walk around Harrods, and you see these women in these like. Harrods, a store? Harrods is like the most famous clothing store in the world.

And then you have all these Arab women walk around in those burkas or abayas or whatever, And they're all like Gucci and Louis Vuitton. It's kind of hilarious. And they're just driving Rolls Royces and like their kids are in Ferraris. They have like Petro dictatorship money. Yeah. And they're just and they have servants. It's old school, like wealth beyond any conception.

Like New York people have money, but like it's just different. London, it's like that Petro dictatorship moment. Like they have slaves. Right, islands and like you're pretty much the old, like you have surfs. It's a crazy thing to watch. Because I don't see that London at all. Well, it's a totally different London.

It's totally different London. And I'm just interested in it because I've always been interested in what these people are up to. Yeah. That's always what I've been interested in. I always find them really interesting, really fun. You've known me a long time. Yeah, you're always into them.

Even that bus tour was all about that. I did the bus tour about them. It was all about these people. Oh, you gotta do a London bus tour. I would love to do a London bus tour and be sick. They already have the double deckers. And you know what's interesting, and the reason I like these people is,

as we become this really grotesque society where everybody wants to be famous and known, these people kinda don't. So that's interesting. So it's like, that's interesting to me. And they always have a kid who ruins it by like trying to, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, we're not known. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's always a kid who ruins it. Always a kid who ruins it by like trying to like, Hey, we're not known. Yeah, there's always a kid who ruins it. Always a kid

who ruins it. And they're like, we're just trying to quietly stack money and behead people. We're be handing people. And then there's always like their daughter ruins it because she like poses on a yacht in the south of France or something. And they try to build up some social media presence. But like these people truly, in my estimation, these are the people who run the world. It's not the government and it's not the Jews of America. It's like, like yes, obviously we know Vladimir Putin is, but like there's a lot of people in Russia

that you don't know who they are and they have tons of power and wealth and Putin mediates conflicts between those people and those are like feuding oligarchs and Putin will sit them both down and okay you get this you get that. We gotta work it out. Everyone's like that's money stop. And you know we tend to know about like Mohammed bin Salman we know about uh uh uh Trump we know about we know about the leaders of these countries, but we don't really know about the really wealthy, powerful people that prop up. Now we start to know more about them.

Cause like Elon Musk wants to be famous. Yeah. So we're like, Oh my God, it's like, wait, what? Like you have how much are you doing? What? Like he's coming out of the shed. Like some of these tech guys are just coming out of The shadows because they're fully embracing. I'm a supervillain. I have a spaceship

Fuck you. It's they want to be sure. Yeah, they want to be known once you start fucking like like rappers or whatever I make no mistake There are fully human traffickers sitting somewhere looking at Elon and Bezos going, they have no class. They have no taste. Truly. Yeah. Think about that. There are evil. Showing your shirt off. Evil. There are evil genocidal monsters sitting around going, why are they doing this? Why are they behaving like this? There's a code.

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Because life's too short for anything less than clean, delicious energy. Hey guys, today's episode of YouBeT trippin is brought to you by Shopify.com You know starting your own business is difficult. It could be intimidating Yeah, you're trying to reach customers that you don't even know and you don't know how to do it Well, I know when I'm selling things online Shopify helps me get everything set up to get me straight to my customers It's a commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all the e-commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands like mine. What I'm selling is diarrhea. Sometimes I get back from a trip and I haven't really pooped out all the fucking evils of the treat meats that I

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episode. For real, use them. It's like really easy to set up your like online portal and platform. They just do a great job. Okay, let's get back to the episode. But for real, use them. It's really easy to set up your online portal and platform for that. They just do a great job. Okay, let's get back to the episode. It's so funny, class is an interesting thing where it's like, at the Fat Black, last night at the Fat Black,

not the bar, the other one, there was just four drunk idiots with their gay. They're all hags on them with their gay. And they're just screaming, and I'm like, okay, so the class there is way lower than whatever, but they're declassing the rest of this crowd. I'm like, you're in New York. Have some fucking class.

Don't be drunk this early. No, people are monsters. But what makes, yeah. You brought up an interesting point about how London is no longer what it's kind of selling. This happens in a lot of places, like Hey, Ashbury's a great example where it's like the beat and it's like, it ain't that.

It's Zara's and whatever and like rich tech bros. But they're still awesome. Keep Austin weird. Austin hasn't been weird in about 15 years. Yeah, it's not weird. So like London is kind of that too, pretending it's this thing, the sex pistols haven, when it ain't.

It talks, it speaks to this other trend where people don't necessarily have a allegiance to a nation state. They have an allegiance to their class of people and their, and the financial architecture. So these people feel at home in London or New York or Aspen or Riyadh. But they don't, like yes, are they from Saudi? at home in London or New York or Aspen or Riyadh. Yeah.

But they don't care, like yes, are they from Saudi? Are they Muslim? Sure. Or are they from Israel? Are they Jewish? Yes. Or are they from New York and they're fucking wasps, whatever, who cares?

But really what it comes down to is the ability of them to move their money around the globe and evade taxes and manipulate democracy and put their people in power, that's way more important to them than any land mass. Yeah. Except Israel, they do seem to care about that. Right, they're beyond, right,

because there's a connection to it. They do, I will say one qualifier is, they do seem to care about that, no, no, no, it's not saying that they don't care. Yeah, they're beyond country. Like Facebook is like, we're not American anymore. We just make money. We're just going to change laws.

Yeah, I mean, a lot of these people will hide their money in all these different countries in case they fall out of favor with the ruling class of the country. Yeah, it's almost silly to be only in one country. It's like being in one comedy club. But then if the booker turns up. Why do you think Donald Rumsfeld and all these guys,

they had places in South America? A lot of them. Because they were like, if it ever gets out what we did, if it ever gets out the things that we did. Where we have armed guards. The Bush family, all these people, they're like, if it ever comes out, and if they ever turn on us,

because you could make a case that any of them were war criminals. And by the way. Not any, all. All, and a good case. Yeah. Okay? But again, Putin, I'm all on board. You're great. No disrespect. I took a cross. Actually, um, no, I know. I here's the thing with Putin. Killer short has class. Has that thing that those people didn't at that bar at the fat black. Yeah. Yes has, you know, those women you saw are, or he'd wear a suit when it

calls for a suit, the man walks in in a suit. So what I find really interesting, interesting or fun about this stuff is that it's also quite comical because you have to look at the world, I think as kind of a weird, you know, deeply funny and tragic place. Yeah. And I do think some of this is really, really. Amusing. And what, what?

Because you, you know, seeing a bunch of Saudis drive these Ferraris up and down London and just drop them off at the airport. Yeah. And into this like building of glass boxes, that's pretty unremarkable. And it's actually ugly. Compared to all the other buildings you buy $200 million. There's no class. There's no like, no, there's no like style at all and pay like $200 million for an apartment in this million. There's no class. There's no like, there's no like style at all. And pay like $200 million for an apartment in this building. That's like soulless. That's soulless and just it's just there to stash money and hide money.

And, you know, and it's not only them, it's people from all over the world, it's people from Europe and Asia and whatever. And it's not, it's just funny. And Russia is huge in London. in Europe, in Asia and whatever. It's just funny. And Russia is huge in London. These people are, a lot of them are incredibly morally compromised in ways that are just very funny.

Like it is very funny to think about growing up and being taught like work hard, be honest, and you'll get places. And then in actuality, it's actually the opposite. I met one of these, I met one of them. Like kind of like in that case, it's kind of the opposite, like it's not the opposite

in all cases, but the people here that I'm talking about are among the most, like these are international crime families. It's funny, I met one of them at a UFC, like some chic, whatever, and I'm like, I didn't know the history, but like, oh, this is chic, he owns this and this, and I was like, and they're like,

and I'm like kinda shaking his hand, I was like, is this one of the slave owners you guys are talking about? And they're like, yeah, I'm like, why are we being cool with him? Yeah, well, here's the thing, what are you gonna do? No, I'm not gonna do anything, but I'm not gonna go out of my way,

like these guys falling over him. But here's the other thing, he's probably a nice guy. He is a nice guy, but at some point you go Hey, I got plenty of nice guy friends. I agree with you, but I don't know. Is slavery your red line? No, no, no, no, no, it's McDonald's. It's not mine either. If you eat McDonald's we're out. If you own slaves and don't eat McDonald's I'm still okay with you. Here's the deal. I'm not for slavery and I would not have a slave. Bullshit. Okay, you're right. Bullshit.

On both counts, you're right. Okay. On both counts, you're right. Dude, let's take race out of it. Yeah. Let's take race out of it because that's what catch people. Yeah. So it's not based on race, it's based on height.

Yeah. I mean, it's with a full horse. Yeah. You would get them if it was socially acceptable and they'd be like, all right, we're all going to get them. But if I went to Dubai, and I said this on my show the other day, and everybody was like, oh, it's all made by slaves. I'm like, OK, but I'm still going to just compliment some of the buildings. Yeah, exactly.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. What do you want me to do? Lead a revolution? I can't change it. You want me to lead a revolution right now? Or do you want me to have breakfast at the Four Seasons? If I went to the Qatar Four Seasons,

I wouldn't be like, I can't believe you let Hamas stay here. I'd go, the pool's really nice. Yeah, it's like, I wouldn't, but it's up to you. It's not my job. Yeah. What do you do in London? What's your, like, you get there, you stay for a week or two?

I stay for as long as I can. I mean, it's never two weeks, but it's a little bit. Do you go just for gigs, or do you go for just fun? I go for gigs. I've gone for fun. I have some friends there. I usually split my time. I'll go to a show. I'll go compare it to New York. I'll go to a show in the West End. I'll go... Broadway type show. Yeah. Is it as good as New York? And to be honest, it never is.

What? It just never is. Their theater is not as good as New York and to be honest it never is. What? Just never is. Their theater is not as good as American theater? Never is. The terror of failure in this country makes makes people better at what they do. I'm being very serious. Say that again. Just knowing that there is no health insurance if you get kicked off the show. Just knowing how hard like the brutality of it. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying you what they are. They don't have an Audra McDonald who's killing it a chip like in gypsy right now

Maybe the most talented woman in the country. They don't have they're very good. Don't get me wrong. They have great stuff. It's not New York It's just what it is and they'll tell you that too. By the way, they'll tell you that you know Jess Butterworth who you know the ferryman which was a huge play on McDonald's Yes The president Yeah, Jess Butterworth, who you know, the ferryman, which was a huge play. I'm a Donald. Yes. This is the president. It's like, oh, by the way, look at that. The evolution of Ronald McDonald. Look how terrified it was. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's crazy. This one is the wildest one.

Hold on. I like that one with the hair on the side. Looks like sideshow Bob. This. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck? That used to be Ronald McDonald? That'll haunt the nightmare. Whoa. A bunch of dreams. What?

Oh my God. That's like a caricature that they make fun of me on. Right, they made Ronald McDonald a hat. They made him a Jew. Yeah, they made him a Jew. A hat, is that what you call them? The hats, yeah, the hats. Wow, tiny hats.

But I go to my friends and I'll sit down with them and go to like, because they live in these little flats. Yeah. And they sit there and they complain. It's a very British thing to complain. It's very raining. It's rainy all the time. And they're kind of always, they're never enraged,

but they're never happy, which is what I find I like about them. They always have gripes and they just kind of pass it aggressively. They have gripes, oh, there's construction, this, that, oh, the Olympics, they're doing that. Yeah. You know, it's a, oh, it's so crap. You know, the building I work in, they just moved. Like it seems like very built on that. There is, I'm trying to stay away from negative, but there's a positive type of negative.

Where it's like, let's talk shit about somebody. Yeah. It's kind of gripes. And fun. We're just like, and it's shit talking. Yeah. And it's a shit talking. Yeah. It's a good shit talking for me. That the experience that I have there is kind of like fun shit talking. And they all give a fuck about America or not, or like how much does it enter into their minds? I gotta be honest. They care about celebrity.

Like America is just, this is what they think America is. Yeah. Is just this launching pad for the most famous people in the world. No one's as famous as Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift. Like there is no one in the UK outside of the Royals, and even the Royals, who are as famous as the,

so their culture has been completely, somewhat polluted by our mega celebrities. Wow, yeah. So they think of America as a place where really, really, really famous people exist. And they think of it as a place where everyone has a gun, everyone's eating poison, everyone's working themselves to death.

True, that is a place. Everyone has a 12,000 square foot house and a big SUV and no one can afford it. They tend to believe that everyone is. They read the reports, they hear the stereotypes. And they go, that's true. They hear the stereotypes, but they also have a very... At least in my estimation, American culture is the default...

It's like the dollar is a reserve currency. American culture is like the reserve culture. That's why you see those British comics and they go, well, I gotta make it in America. You see the ones that sell at the O2 arena four times they have and then they're like who the fuck is that? Was that bothers him a little bit? Yeah, of course. They have their big brother. They have their celebs They have the reality TV and stuff. There are there are San Diego. Yes, there are San Diego, but they they don't have the Taylor Swift they don't have the

You know, it is who's the biggest? They don't have the Taylor Swift. They don't have the, you know. Wait, who's the biggest British? They don't have that. No Bad Bunny, no Drake, no. They don't have, you like to have Boris Johnson, but think of it, Boris Johnson nowhere near Donald Trump. No, he's in the shadow really. That's what I mean, like a lot of their people

are kind of a less famous version of the people that we churn out. So we still have the, you know? Like. David Beckham. Yeah. Amy Winehouse. Half of these are dead.

Paul McCartney's been forever ago. Taylor Swift's on their list. What does Justin Bieber has nothing to do with it? Exactly. What are we talking about? Wow, that's interesting. OK. It's not.

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yeah, it's a last-ditch effort. That's what my guests who travel to crazy places love For a limited time my listeners get 10% off at Ridge by using the code Ari at checkout Just head to Ridge comm use the code Ari and you're all set after you purchase They will ask you where you heard about them. Please support the you be tripping show and tell them that I sent you Thank you. Let's get back to the episode keep all your stuff together with a ridge with a wallet from Ridge All right So you'll be at a dinner or you'll take a walk with somebody and they'll talk about But they're also surprised at a radical the politics are here because you're getting radical in the UK a little bit

But they're nowhere near yet Kind of as charged as they are here, like emotionally. Interesting, that's what I'm looking more at. They're an old country, people there don't expect to be millionaires, they don't expect to start a business, they don't expect to be an entrepreneur, they are more, there is more of a

reasonable expectation of life. I don't think, you know, I think it's more in some ways it's more rational. There's a class system there that they kind of like believe in. Transcending class there isn't easy. It's hard to go from somebody with... Because there's a high blood, I call it high blood and low blood accents. High born. Yeah, where it's like Finn Taylor, if you know him, he's got this high, high born accent.

And so you just take him more seriously than someone who talks like trash. That's what it is. So they're very much like, you can't transcend class there in the way that you can in America. Like America, as long as you have money, for the most part, you can buy your way in. Yeah. For the most part. There's a few enclaves you can't, but for the most part. Yeah, you can buy your way in.

In Beverly Hillbillies. In the UK, you can't. You really can't. They will not let you into their society. Is there any way Jimmy Carr wears a suit so he can pretend to be born like that? I don't know. I don't know. You know, he's a mega celeb. So there's certain, I think he'd agree with me. And I think like about England in general is like proximity to like

the royal family and people like that is their Hollywood. That's what Meghan Markle was like, oh, she didn't understand. It's like, No, that's the deal. These people pay for you to live like a fairy tale. But you have to give them access into every part of your life. So Chapel Rowan goes, Well, I don't like people stopping me in the airport. It's like, well, go back to working at Wendy's. No, the deal is you make 40 million $50 million this year. But people are gonna say hello to you. I love that idea. I was like, beat it. I'm not at

work. Well, listen, good forle. I love that idea. I was like, beat it, I'm not at work. Well, listen, good for her. But it's not realistic. But here's the thing. Yeah. You know who's really not at work? Who? People who work at Target.

They're never at work, even when they're at Target. Yeah. So when you are one of the most famous people. Do you think people at Target, like when they're with their friends later, they're like, hey, when's the new launchers coming in? And they're like, dude, shut, I don't wanna fucking talk about this.

Yeah, I bet they are. I bet someone did. But I mean, and I'm not shitting on anyone that works at Target. I'm just saying, like, if, when is the new launch here is coming in? And they're like, dude, shut I don't want to fucking talk about. But I mean, and I'm not shitting on anyone that works to talk. I'm just saying like, if you want privacy, there's ways to get it. Being one of the most famous singers in the world. And they're going, by the way, I don't love that this job comes with all these other things. Megan Markle. Oh, they want pictures of my baby. The fucking Prince bitch., yeah, they're paying. You knew what you were doing, you dated him. He was already mega famous.

You didn't just fall into something as a housemaid. The royal family's, the taxpayers pay for them. Yeah, right, right, they're paying for you. They're going away, don't take anything. You're the oldest reality show they have. They're paying for you so that they can fucking pour over every little thing. This is so much different than Danny Brown's episode of London. Probably.

It's so much different. It's all just like purity of the drugs. Okay. Well that's the strength of the show. And the grind scene. No, that's what I always wanted to do. What do you eat when you're there? You go to nice restaurants. What do you eat when you're there? Indian food. The curry is amazing. God damn it is. But it's everywhere. That's another thing. They go, British food sucks. I'm like, you're there? Indian food. The curry is amazing. God damn it is the best, but it's everywhere. That's another thing. They go. British food sucks. Like no

one's eating British food. It's also British food. Listen, here's the thing. There's a few things that are good, but they have their few things. It's like roast, English breakfast, things like that. You know, has some blue with all the genius. He's got his dinner at the Mandarin's great restaurant. The fat Docker, the brain Docker, one of those fucking pubs. He does is great.. The Fat Docker, the brain Docker, one of those fucking pubs he does is great. British food's great.

Not British food. I'm sorry. Indian food in the UK is great. Chinese food's really good. I don't know, man. It's a global city. I feel like it's like New York. I feel like you can get anything you want. Yeah, I think you can get anything you want. I think here's my other hot take. I. I think you can get anything you want. I think here's

my other hot take. I don't think any of these global cities are that different anymore in terms of like cuisine. You could go anywhere for it. Even French cuisine. You can get it everywhere in New York. It's in Paris now. Cut it out. It's fine. It'll be good. Is it New York? No, but will you spit it out? No, no. Paris'll be good. Is it New York? No, but will you spit it out? No, no. Paris starts at

somebody from Italy moved to Paris and made great pizza. Dude, I had some like almost like borderline Amazonian town. There was some old Italian guy that moved there and this is great. Yeah, it's it's no longer a thing. In fact, you know, I think that, you know, it's one of those things that like now,

Glasgow is not a world class city. So the food's terrible. You pick up a spoon is great. Where Glasgow? Okay, like one or two places. But on average, it's gross. Yeah, because everyone's on heroin. I'll give you that.

And when you're on heroin and you're stabbing people, you don't need. And by the way, this is great. This is great. Hit image on the food. Like the dude just hit gallery maybe. Why didn't the standard just say that? Oh, they just won't even, but that's the best hotel. I love that fucking hotel.

Dining, there we go. Yeah, so that's pate that he makes look like an apple. You can't hate that. Wait, no. I'm telling you. Wait, that's not an apple? Chicken liver pate. Meat fruit.

It's a meat fruit. Oh, and that's just the bread to eat it with. Correct. Listen, it's different than a burrito. You're paying for presentation. Well, why wouldn't you? It's just a whole different style of food. It's not even similar.

Yeah, burrito's a third world food. of food. It's not even like similar. Yeah, burritos are third world food. I know, that's why I don't, that's my example of like, why would this ever be expensive? This is never, there's no reason to pay for it for $30. I agree with you. It's dirt food. Pate is not dirt food.

No. And he's doing such a high level burrito. By the way, I'm sure Luke Cali's great pizza. Why would I wait in line an hour and a half for pizza? I don't care what it tastes like. Pizza's a food that's good because you can get it. It's accessible. Wow, look at that.

I mean, you even got the shine on it? This is what I mean, like. Are you kidding me? So what? Colonialism, empire, this is good. How much is this? I don't know. It's not that much money.

You don't look at prices anymore, do you? Well, no, I will, but I just, I can't off the top of my head recall it. By the way Yeah, me and Sam talent and we had a few other friends a few other comics that were UK guys We all had dinner there not not crazy. Okay, no mature. Not that crazy not that crazy. No, no, no Here's the thing when you leave New York in LA you start realizing you're like, oh, we're getting robbed Like dude in ways you can't even imagine.

Well, people go like, Oh, London is too expensive. I'm like, I live in a more expensive town. Dude, we're getting robbed. And dude, the eggs, Cotswold, Google the Cotswolds right now. It's this area that Alan just moved to because she's doing a seance with a necromancer try to raise an army of the dead to come at Trump, the Cotswolds. Now this is a storybook village where people like Ellen have fled to be with kind of other white lesbians

who have a relationship with Satan. Really? Yes. What? Don't, Ari, don't second guess. What, what? Okay, fair. Wait, so you move there to be away from all the fricking haters? What don't are you don't second-guess what what? Wait she moved there to be away from all the freaking haters because Trump is in office and she's man She's a beauty, you know, she like I love it. It's not it's not because we ran you out of showbiz

It's because Trump it's because she used to crucify her interns But and she was trying to teach some lessons she'd string them up stigmata through the you know lessons. She'd string them up. Stigmata through the, you know. Now, so now, so this is where people live to LARP. Like, dude, if you want to go to the Cotswolds right now, now, by the way, go to homes for sale on the Cotswolds. I'm not even kidding. Oh, okay. This is fun. You can buy a fucking house. I'm not even kidding, dude. In the Cotswolds. I'm not even kidding. Yeah, like I don't know which is the one. Seville's is probably good. Right down there. It's the third one. Okay.

Just go down. Yeah, 600. I thought that's about a mill. By the way, look at this one.4. Look what you get. Look what you get. You live in like a store. Look at 1.4. Wow. You live in a manor. For 1.4. Look at this. You can click. There's more photos of it. Probably. Yeah, the arrow over there. Wow. 1.4. Sorry. 1.4 pounds. So that's two million. So what? Look at this. Norman bought his first condo here for 600 grand.

That was 10 years ago. Right. And it was a studio. Dude, I have a condo here for 2.7. It's nothing. It's like, wow. Look at this. And it comes with books, flowers.

Damn, this is fucking nice. So they all live there now? It's like they're like, gentrifying it. A lot of people are moving to this area now because This is where celebrities are moving to pretend they care about diversity the whitest place Do you know about that when the when the monarchy was like in like their vacation homes? They're like country homes and they they cook bread all day and then throw it out

and they cook bread all day and then throw it out. Because we want the smell of baking bread because we're countrying right now. And they go, sweet, but I'm not eating a bunch of bread. Chuck it. And we give it to the- You think they should just give it to some vagabond. No, it's not about them. Do you believe in the human hunts?

I was reading this book about Belgium where they would have these children run through an area and then elites would hunt them and kill them. Do you believe in that? I don't know. I think maybe it's true. Look at this yard. Human hunt.

I love it. Well, here's the thing. They would get like kids. Well, poor children from the village. They're fucking everything up. And you would give. It's like, it's like, and you would hunt them. What's the Jonathan Swift book feed the Irish?

Peasants should feed their poor babies to the rich. Yeah. Yeah So what I'm thinking about is solution. What the fuck all right think about this This is crazy. This is what I mean. That's your yard We're sold on this idea that everything is so crazy expect. It's really not look how insane that is That's the English countryside Look how insane that is. That's the English countryside. By the way, that's in the backyard. That's in the that's not even in the spring. You know, amazing. That looks in the fucking space. You just open up your gate back here and then just wander out. You just wander out in those big boots, those big boots, the wellies.

And you and you just wander around and, you know, you kind like, just kind of have a cup of tea and you know, kind of talk about Hitler. You gotta wear a sweater inside, that's about, talk about, let's see if we did good. You know what I'm just starting to see now is, cause I so don't care about politics, I'm trying to see what Trump does, how he does it.

And I'm like, he's so good at distracting. By saying something kind of just like, Gulf of America, does that affect anyone? Like, no. They're like, what a distraction that is. I gotta start doing that. As people are coming at me about anything. Just say something wild that they can fight on

while they're ignoring this main thing. Oh, what a tactic. He'll be like, Gulf of America, and then he'll be like, there's no more black boys in schools. That's how he's like, that's not I would definitely go for a human hunt. And kids are wily. Well, this is what I'm saying in Belgium. They know they're being hunted. You'd have to tell them otherwise. It'd be too easy. Well, here's the thing you they they can be. Here's the thing. And I don't want to bring everyone down. But I think they

the know what the Royals do. No, this is not. Do do Belgium. Google Belgium Castle Human Hunt because there is a castle where they hunt humans or used to. Yeah, it is. Yeah, there it is. Chateau de Moines. So now, okay, so just go to that Wikipedia. This castle is supposedly where they had the human hunts. What? Okay, whatever. I don't know if they

did or not. It's a fire, blah, blah, blah. During the the patrol of German soldiers committed. Come on, come on, come on. What I want is the fucking hunt shit. You gotta Google human hunt. Yeah, okay. Because they're going into the architecture here. That's not what we want. We want humans being hunted.

Not that we want it, we want to know about it. I mean, I love if they still have their old style. I don't think they do it anymore, but who knows, why would you stop? It's a great question. The untold story. That's it. This is what it is. It's called the Mother of Darkness Castle. Wow. I think we should go there. Yeah, I'm down. They say it's super evil. We can do a little, we can do an episode about this. Right. The whole thing off as a tax write off.

Wow. Oh, I got it, I got it. Okay, well there's a, the untold dark, wow. Mystery archive. So this is what, whenever I read about royalty, I wonder how dark and bad it really is. Because you'd think- Without any rules.

No rules. It's not like you have to go to hunting humans, but- No. You might dabble. You might, it's like, let me rule it out. People just start going, you know what? Sunday is wide open. If you guys are doing it, I guess I'll try it.

Sunday is wide open for a human hunt. You ever hear a Fitzsimmons joke about getting blown by a dude? No. I think it's him, but he's just, he got blown by a dude and he didn't like it. And people are like, oh, okay. He goes, no, no, I didn't like it.

That's hilarious. He goes, you're guessing that you're not gay. Right., no, no, I didn't like it. That's hilarious. He goes, you're guessing that you're not gay. Right. I ruled it out. What are you scared of? That's so funny. That's hilarious.

Yeah. Yeah, we could try hunting human and then be like, I don't know. So I'm just, I wonder. Yeah. I don't know. It's hard to know. It's drafty in London. What else should people know about it?

Here's my favorite things. Those little towel warmers in every fucking bathroom. They're gray. We don't get those here. Yeah. It's drafty. I don't love the draft. Well, the weather sucks. The weather sucks, but it's like, it's great. It's not drafty here. Well, here's the thing in London. I think you have to you have to. You have to just develop a different constitution. Like you have to just start wearing like wool and knit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your face is kind of red all the time.

Yeah. In this house, you are wearing. You are wearing. Yeah. Well, you're wearing like wool inside. Yeah. This one. Yeah. You're wearing just wool around the house. Take out the garbage. You're wearing like wool. Inside. Yeah. This one, yeah. You're wearing just wool around the house, take out the garbage, you're wearing wool in here, this sweater, all this tending of fire. And I think you have to figure out like

where you wanna go because you can't, because you can take a quick train ride to Paris and all these places. You can't stay in London all the time. It's like New York. It'll drive you crazy. New York has Florida or whatever, or maybe out east on Long Island or fucking wherever.

People do go crazy here when you're like, hey, when's the last time we left? You gotta leave. It was like seven months ago. You gotta step foot out. So I think with London, it's like you gotta get out of certain places. But that's one of the cool things about London is you can,

if you leave your apartment at 8 a.m., you can have lunch in Paris at 12.45 and be home in time for the fucking nightly. What are you worried about in terms of, are there, yeah. Good question. Yeah. The bleakness of the weather. Bleak. I'm a sun guy. It's not sunny, never.

So June to September, I think I'll be great. It's barely sunny then, go on. It's just not sunny. So June to September I think I'll be great. It's barely sunny then. It's just never sunny. We're making friends? Yeah. I have deep old school friends here. I don't know. I know I have some.

You'll actually be fine on that count. Comedy helps. Comedy helps. You just go in and just like, are you guys going to the diner? Can I come? You'll be fine. Yeah, okay.

Also all my friends are like, I don't know if you get this, you're younger than me for sure, but they're aging out now. They're starting to breed. They're starting to move. No, I get it, I get it. They're starting to move away from Manhattan to Rosa. It's like, what happened to my scene? Well, I think that it's changing.

There's two things that are happening. Number one, people are getting older. Number two, people are getting older. Number two, people are just not, people are, the pandemic really made people into home bodies. Yeah, it really did. People really now are like. You know they have 5 p.m. to 12 midnight raves?

Five to 12. Yeah, that's crazy. Instead of 10 to fucking eight. No, literally like you'll hang out with someone now and you go, when do you wanna hang out? And they go, what about noon? and you go when you want to hang out They go what about noon and you go noon like 12 They go yeah, and they want to do a day hang because by 8 p.m. They want to be home and by 10 p.m. They want to be in bed. It's crazy, and I remember being in comedy New York at like 2 30 in the morning at Veselka Laughing and shitting on kind can't believe this one got

Montreal. Yeah. So do you think that's still going on with a younger generation? I don't think so. It's the prices of rent have I mean are crazy. I think some of it's going on. Yeah. But I think a lot of it is they have they're all like, oh, your video was funny. It's really different. They all go up to each other and go, dude, that video you did was super funny. And like, so I think they film a lot of shit, which is cool, and they make a lot of shit. But there's not, the hang doesn't seem to be,

we hung out without, we hung out. Because it was, we had the benefit of there was nothing to do, there was no pods. There was nothing to do. So there was no work tomorrow. And there was no like, like we weren't always strategizing about. Just get ahead, hanging out with you at the old stand.

We used to laugh. I don't know, we're gonna drink. We used to try to be really, really funny. Yeah. And laugh. I remember it was be like, Yamanika and you and me and the Normand or like, Jay and Christine. All these people would be coming in and out

and we would have a lot of fun and then people would go to that diner or they'd go to Veselka or earlier on people would hang out at the creek in the cave and people would smoke cigs in the back at 3 a.m. we'd be smoking cigs in the back of the creek in the cave. Laughing, only remember from the first eight to nine years people would smoke cigs in the back at 3 a.m. We'd be smoking cigs in the back of the creek of the cave, laughing. All I remember from the first eight to nine years of comedy was laughing uncontrollably.

Because I was around all these people that were so funny and we were all just being, I remember Joe List making me laugh so hard once, pretending we ordered, Rebecca was doing this whole big dinner and we told her we ordered Domino's and she started screaming. It was clearly a joke, but it was just a fun, like things that were just so funny.

There was just funny times that, I feel like now we're getting older, now it's different and now people are more, it's all digital now. It's like, dude, I saw the thing you did online. And that's how people become friends. Yeah, that's weird, because of the status. So, okay, I'm worried about those two things.

Missing people here. Yeah. The draw, I guess I'm worried about dropping off a lot of comfort podcast visits and then like. That'll be fine. Yeah. I'm excited about new streets and new restaurants and fucking, and then little day trips to Portugal

and fucking shit like that. It's gonna be the coolest thing in the world. Yeah, and I'm excited about crowds fuckin' not knowing me and hating me. Will you do Edinburgh? I'll go back to Edinburgh for sure. It'll be way easier from there. Although, yeah, I wish it wasn't in the fuckin' summer.

It's like the, I love the summer. I hate having to miss New York summer or London summer to go to the London summer. When are you leaving? Are you missing this summer? This summer I'll be gone. Right. I'll be traveling.

Yeah. What would you ever, you'll visit. I'll visit a lot. Yeah, I got a guest bedroom that you can look in and go, ew, no, but let's be out for lunch. I'll probably stay at a hotel, but I love a long walk. I love, cause I like being nosy and like. Are you less famous there?

Oh yeah. That's great. Dude, for sure. I mean, no one cares. But you know every now and then somebody will come over and go like, hey man, I'm a fan. But it's not like a thing. But I was walking with Shane in DC

and it was like, it gets annoying. No, he's massively famous. Yeah, I'm like, ugh, come on, we're walking. It's also, you know, if you've gone to dinner at Rogan. It's very annoying. And it's like there's Navy Seals everywhere and everything. It feels like we're eating in like, ugh, come on, we're walking. There's also, you know, if you've gone to dinner at Rogan, it's very annoying. It's like there's Navy SEALs everywhere and everything. It feels like we're eating in like, in Tel Aviv. Yeah.

I'm like, what is there, is there gonna be an air raid siren, you know? Like in the middle of it, like, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I think it'll be a lot of fun. And new. I think New York's changing. New York's changing. I think New York's changing. I think it's still rad, but I'm having trouble, and I think everyone who's staying here is having trouble recognizing it. I think it's becoming a place for billionaires

and anxiety-ridden 24-year-olds. When I saw, when I saw. I gotta be honest with you. I go to Florida, and I wanna hate it. I just have fun. People are just really fun. They're chill. Tampa especially, Tampa and Central. People are fun. Yeah. There's something about New York.

It just feels less fun. Now it's, it's the money is a problem. It's expensive. You know, it feels less fun. Yeah. You know, but it doesn't mean it's not. It might just be the new kids coming in. It's like they're, they make it, they make it what it is. And when I talk to the gutter punks, who used to be squatters in the fucking 80s and 90s, they're like, oh, it's all ruined.

I'm like, oh, well, we have a different relation to it. Yeah, I think London's rules, it's fun. They're way into soccer, the actual real name for it. Yeah, food, and I like the casual, you don't drink, but I like the casual pint. Let's meet up for a. Yeah. Yeah. Food and, and, and like, I like the casual, you don't drink, but I like the casual pint. Yeah. Let's meet up for a beer and move on. They're all alcoholics, but they space it out better than here. Yeah. Well, the pub is such a cultural thing. Yeah. And you know, it's a culture there. And if they've lived for a long time, we're a young country, they're not.

And they've been around a long time, we're a young country, they're not. And they've been around a long time, their expectations are more realistic. Their country's not thriving right now, I think. What do you mean? I mean, the way they talk about you can't say anything, people put you in jail, like that's gotta be fake. I hope that's fake. I don't- Because they say that about us.

Yeah, I think what I mean by thriving is like I think it the same thing is happening kind of everywhere things are just really really really expensive and people are feeling like They they don't have a stake in it anymore. They feel like they're like an observer and I think when you do that to people They tend to adopt pathological behavior, whether it's political radicalization or drug use or whatever, when they feel they don't have the ability

to make progress, that they're just outside of it. Watching the oligarchs do what they do. Watching kind of like all these giveaways to the Uber rich, and even to poor people that can manage or just manipulate the system. But like the people that work hard don't feel like they're getting ahead. I feel like that's happening all over the place, not just there. And I feel like there's got to be a way to make it fair or more fair. Nothing's ever going to be fair. Yeah Yeah. There's gotta be a way to make it. So there's, at Edinburgh, you've never been?

Never. Okay, but for the fringe, I mean. But there's, the free fringe is awesome. Yeah. Because it doesn't let the 23-year-old not attend. They can't take a chance on a 12-pound, 18-hour ticket on somebody they've never heard of. Right.

They can take a chance on zero. But what's cool about it is you have people in your stature and then these 23-year-olds, they can come. heard of. You can take a chance on zero. But what's cool about it is you have people in your stature and then these 23 year olds that can come. The 23 year olds laugh and give you one pound and that makes the rich people have a better time because they're around the youth. They have a better time and I'll give you a 20. And so overall it works but they're included and they're vital. That's the thing. I think you've got to make sure that people feel like they have a stake in what's going on. And that's a great example of it. How do you make

people feel like they're not losing ground? Yeah. And that's not going to affect you or anyone that's visiting or even living there for a few years. I think it, it affects people that are living their generations and trying to raise kids and you know. They also just did this rule, this non-domicile rule where if you earn money in Kazakhstan or Italy or somewhere else, you have to pay UK taxes on it. So a lot of people are leaving the UK for a country that is a better tax haven.

Just giving up their citizenship? Yeah. Wow. 10,000 millionaires have left the UK Because like you just bill it's what happened out to California. Yeah Raise money by taxing the billionaires like a world of leave people left So people are leaving now that doesn't mean that everyone's gonna leave and that they'll debate, you know Somebody was smart told me in situations like that millionaires leave billionaires stay But the problem with billionaires is that they don't care.

Their kids aren't going to school. It's like they just buy a bunch of shit and then it's empty. It's a ghost buildings. So you just have ghost buildings all over places. But I think you'll love it. It's gonna be fun. What neighborhood would you live in?

What neighborhood would you have me live in? If you know about them. I would, I told you that Battersea might be interesting. Donde es? Where's Battersea? Battersea, I don't know. B-A-T-E, yeah, go there. Oh, oh yeah, it's way too, it's, oh, not bad actually.

That's not far. Yeah, check it out. Do Image, because I have a few friends that live there that kind of like it. Oh yeah, that's right, you showed me this was working a lot. It still has a few friends that live there that kind of like it. Yeah, that's right. You showed me this in the parking lot. It still has a little, it's a little grimy, but it's not. Yeah, I want some drug dealers on the street.

This is what we talked about. Yeah, I don't know. Again, I'd have to ask friends that know more than I do, but. OK. OK. And then let's see this. Battersea to Top Secret. 18 minutes. Oh.

25. 25 minutes. Yeah. Damn. That's the problem. It's such a spread out town. Yeah, but there's a million neighborhood. I like Knightsbridge. Knightsbridge. Yeah. Which is just a ridiculous place. That's right. That's way close. Knightsbridge is sick.

I think a bike there. Hit image on nice bridge. That's Harris. Oh, really? Yeah. That's Harris. Yeah. That's just wow. See, see that cobblestone streets? Yeah. So that to me is just sick. You know, yeah, that is cool. I mean, walking down that street with a coffee or coffee with a rolled cigarette. This is those houses. Some of them are $20 million. Because it's it's vertical money loan. It's fraud. Will I not be able to afford London? Well, I mean, listen, you're gonna be able to rent a cool place.

Yeah, that's all I want. But this is what I mean about like, people just come in here and you go like, what? Yeah, right, that's you. I would love that. Dude, this is where me and Ed Brooke were standing in front of the comedy store. And you were, I think, supposed to be there that night,

it was when Marcello was on, and a Rolls Royce pulled in front, and he was like, nice, fuckin fucking Tim's here. Yeah black lady And he's like, yeah, it's one of the other people what about moral bone I've heard of that what about moral bone That's where I think you belong moral bone Just like saying it moral bone Moral bone. That's where I think you belong. Moral bone. I just like saying it. Moral bone.

Yeah, baby. Okay, it's in West. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty normal, Logan. Sup, people don't take pictures of actual shit. Look at this fucking loser. That's pretty normal, Logan. So people don't take pictures of actual shit. Look at this fucking loser. That's your friend. Is there any part of you,

let me ask you another interesting question. Is there any part of you, any part of you that thinks you go there, you live there for a month, and go, absolutely not? Cause I'm always wondering if in the back of your mind, that's an option. Or are you sure? I'm not gonna beat myself up if I hate it. No, I'm not month And I'm not gonna definitely be over a year and you'll make it a year probably two two Yeah, I mean, let's say I'll pop around looking for neighborhoods and then I find a place like alright

No, at least a one-year rent and I'm too Jewish to leave a round I'm always wondering if you just, if there's any part of you that would go, and in a month go, you know what? It's just not what I thought. So you know what'll stop me from doing that? Yeah. Embarrassment.

Right. So I left my old place on 12th, the backyard, I don't know if you ever went there. Yeah, of course I did. We had the parties there. Yeah, it was great. So Duncan was coming, and he was coming to, he goes, well, I don't know if you ever went there. Of course I did. We had the parties there. Yeah, it was great. So Duncan was coming, and he was coming to, he goes, well I just went to,

everybody's moving to New York. And I was like, drop that, come stay at my place. I'm leaving. He goes, sweet, with his old girlfriend. And I gave him the keys, called an Uber, I said, enjoy, stay here as long as you want. Leave the keys inside, or drop off at the, I forget what I said.

And then I left, and I got to Myanmar. The second night, I was like, this was a huge mistake. I've gotta go home. And I'm like, how will I be able to face Duncan and say what a quitter I was with this lofty, he was like, I'm so proud of you, this is so cool. And I'm like, I loved it. And if I go back, all that, this is so cool, go away.

So I'm like, well, I have to go live in hiding. People go to Upstate New York and just wrench an Airbnb and act like I'm in Southeast Asia for like two months. Yeah, I wonder, it's, I didn't even think about that. And by the way, I don't think you'll hate it. I'm just always wondering if in the back of your mind, because here's the thing, here's what's interesting about London, right?

I find it fascinating. 30 minute walk, the top secret, yeah. I think it's fascinating, interesting, amazing. All the things about it are great communities are interesting. I got to be honest with you It's a black box to me in terms of if I'd like living there. I don't know right right right I have no idea when people come to New York your vacationing try living here two weeks in Austin Yeah, when you get to your eighth day in Austin, which I've done They're like, oh, this is the same people in the same green rooms, the same fucking restaurants, the same fuck it.

I'm like, this is, I would need to have a different vibe. To me, I always go like this. I always go. Four days, even. There's a part of me that thinks I would love it. There's a part of me that thinks. From London or Austin? No, London.

London, okay. Austin, can't hurry. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. There's a part of me that thinks. What London or Austin? No, London. London, okay. Austin, sorry. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. There's a part of me that thinks I love it. Thinks you would love it, yeah. There's a part of me that worries I'm a little bit of an American,

and even though I don't want to admit it, there's a part of me that thinks I'm a little bit of an American. And that would make you not like it, or that would make people look at you weird? No, not people looking at me weird. I just might be too used to America and to reprogram myself now at 40.

I don't know. You're an outside dog. Yeah. Not just suddenly be inside. My friends are crazy people. There? Here. Oh right, yeah.

All of our, everyone we know. I know people that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars and people that There? Here. Oh right, yeah. All of our, everyone we know. I know people that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars and people that have no money and all of them are crazy. You ever go to a place with a friend, a comedian friend or a regular friend and you're like, this fucking idiot is going, and they're like, hey dude, there's kids around. Where the fuck are you?

I'm just wondering, do I go there and do I realize, oh, I'm an uncivilized boorish animal who lives in a circus and now I'm like completely like in a place where. Even the Johnny Rotten's of London, the current version of that is still, has a class that we. Oh my God.

Like different than us. Not better or worse, but just different. They'd be like, well, I've never done that. I just wonder about, now by the way, or I live there and I go, oh my God, I'm happy and I'm never coming that. I just wonder about, now by the way, or I live there and I go, oh my God, I'm happy and I'm never coming back. I'm actually happier here. I feel better here.

That's other things. But I mean, she's, you know, I love Michelle, but she has a life there. I just wonder if I'm too American to live in a non-American place. Here's what I like about America, okay? I like the idea that everything whether it is or not seems possible It seems possible seems possible my aunt said she was big like, you know conservative rah rah

She's like there's still the only country in the world. You can show up with $10 in your pocket become a millionaire She's right. I hadn't heard that by I was a kid. She's absolutely correct. That's retarded. I know, but I respect her. You will die in a day. I know, but people need to die in a day. That's a different thing. How long should you die?

Sure, let's hunt the kids. Let's hunt the kids, Mike. No, no, no. Your aunt is a great woman, and she's absolutely right. But now listen. Yeah. She's not right for everyone. Dude, it's so funny.

She's the aunt that, like, whenever I do conservative stuff, she'll call, I saw. Dude, it's so funny. She's the aunt that like whenever I do conservative stuff, she'll call, I saw you on Tucker, that was great. Nothing, here's my issue with London, nothing seems possible. Wow. It seems impossible to get too noticed in the entertainment business. It doesn't seem like you're gonna make a shitload of money.

No, you make less money. No, it seems like you're not, it's very hard. London's a major tour stop for me in international. I'm gonna kick out of the idea. I'm like, I'm gonna promote my comedy special on Megyn Kelly. Yeah, I'm gonna drive to Granite, you know, drive, you know, beautiful home. I sit there and like, I grew up watching her on TV. And now I just promote my special there because I have a show on the

internet where I talk shit and she has a show and there's no and why not? Why not? Yeah. Nothing in that country seems possible. Wow. Unless you're a lord or you know someone or you know the right people. It seems very, very, very, very, very, even the Edinburgh, even the way to get ahead is to win an award there. It's real seem like only the cool kids are invited to it. Why do I care what your review of me is? But the reviewers like, well, you're a popular, you're in. They have this arcade system.

If you're not in, it doesn't matter. They have an arcade system based on theater? Yeah. I go, what are you talking about? None of them are on the internet. They've rarely heard of it. They're starting. They're starting.

They're starting now, or 2025? Congrats. My main issue with it, because now after I built it up, let's tear it down. Let's do it. Let's do a good episode. Go up, go down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My main issue with it is that it doesn't, I feel I love Pierce Morgan. Okay. I feel, I just think I like him. I like his thing. I don't know what it is. It gets fightiest fun. People blame it for Diana's that it's like, listen, I, you know, do we all, does everything have to be a problem? Should be dead anyway.

Agreed. I think there's a, I don't know if I could get into it because I think it's about accepting where you are. And that's not you at all. You've never been that. That's not me. You were a fuckin' salesman in Long Island and now you're a fuckin' debutante.

I wouldn't say that, but now I'm pushing into corners of the world that people are not welcoming me and yet I'm still pushing because I've modeled my life after a genre of movies in the 80s where homeless people would go to country clubs. And that's- You're in long form trading places. Yeah, and that's kind of, this shit to me,

I don't like a game you can't play. Yeah. I don't like a game you can't play. London feels like a game you cannot play. Interesting, so that might be okay for me because I don't want a game you can't play. London feels like a game you cannot play. Interesting. So that might be okay for me because I don't want to play the game. I'm not comfortable and I've gotten ahead, but I hate playing it. Yeah.

I just wish they'd assign me a position. Interesting. You, you, you may find that you're more of an American than you. Yeah, probably. I'll, I'll, I'll know what I now miss about being an American when I'm there. You might find you're more of an American than you think. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You know, you might get there and go, Oh, so this is interesting. I like it and I find it interesting,

but there's a weird class snobbery weirdness that I just can't fully, or you might find none of that and find that it's all overstated and maybe the comedy community's great, but I think there's a lot, it seems it's very regimented over there. I mean, the stand-up, drug use, music. These talk shows that they do. Yeah.

Oh yeah, the panel shows. The panel, and that you sit there on the panel show. I'll get your quip in. I gotta be honest. A quid for your quip. Oh, that's a good show. I'll get your quip in. I gotta be honest. A quid for your quip. Oh, that's a good show. We should sell that to the UK. Yeah.

A quid for your quip. A quid for your quip. It's just a panel show, just recapping all the other panel shows. That's the pitch. I just think there is a possibility that you go there and you go, it's a little antiquated.

They're still on television. They're still doing television. They're still getting a reviewer to write a review of a one-man show that they wrote about getting misgendered at a fruit stand. Yeah, they're still doing things that we haven't done in 15 years. You ever see Kraftwerk playing their first gig in Germany?

What's it called? Kraftwerk. They're like early electronica. Okay. And they're playing this. Berlin is a super like cutting edge, but they hadn't heard Kraftwerk. They were like early electronica. Okay. And they're playing this, Berlin is a super like cutting edge, but they hadn't heard it before. No one's heard it before.

And they're just like sitting on the floor, like going like this, like that's not the dance it's gonna be settled on. But they're just like, uh, how do you, what is, how do you analyze this? I'm hoping that's what I do for London. Remember best week ever?

When was that? Big Fitzsimmons thing. 2012? Best weekend. When they brought it back. Oh yeah, they brought it back. Yeah, right around 2012, 2010. When's it, do you know what I mean?

Like it just feels weirdly archaic. Panel shows and. Do your own thing. Reviews and festivals. I think it'd be interesting. I wanna hear from you, cause you might go, hey you're totally wrong. I might hate it.

I'm excited to get left out of political conversations. I've told everyone in my life, right, left and center, that I don't care and you're boring me and it's actually offensive to bring it up when I keep telling you I don't care. And they keep doing it. I'm hoping they go, I'm like, how does parliament work? And they go, we're not catching you up. I don't think it'll be that. I think it'll be like, I think it'll be like, wait, what?

Like I think you'll, you'll start to go like, wait, wait, we're supposed to go on mock the week? You know what I mean? Like that is just out of the nineties. Yeah. I think you'll go like, oh, this is comedy in 2010. Right. Oh, I remember this. Yeah. I think you'll go, oh yeah, this is comedy in 2010. Right. Oh, I remember this. Yeah, I think you'll go, oh, yeah, this is comedy in 2010. You audition for a festival.

You do a show that people write about. The Booker's got to like you. The people have to like you. I mean, maybe it'll be like a reminiscing field. It could be reminiscent. It could be great. And by the way, maybe I'm observing it from an outsider. I don't know.

I don't know anything. You ever see a comic friend get a sitcom, and you're like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm on this sitcom. I'm like, and by the way, maybe I'm observing it from an outsider. I don't know. I don't know anything. You ever see a comic friend get a sitcom and you're like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm on this sitcom. I'm like, oh, good for you, man. That sounds fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you're like, I almost like pity them. But like, if you've wanted that, congrats. I don't know how it all looks. From the outside, it looks to me archaic. Yeah. Going to Edinburgh and going, I'm doing a show and if I get four stars in The Guardian. Edinburgh's dying or The Scotsman. Or The Scotsman is dying. And if I get four stars in The Guardian. Edmure's dying or The Scotsman.

Or The Scotsman, it's dying. And then I get to go tour. And I don't make a ton of money touring. And then I'm not online. I make less in London than I make in Kansas City. Right, so you go, and I'm not online really because like, I don't know. So then you go, what is it?

And the only famous people seem to be KSI and the Sidemen and Jimmy Carr and Michael McIntyre, and they're brilliant comedians, and they're great. Yeah, Adam Rowe. Yeah, and I just feel like- They're the new classes, Adam Rowe and Finn Taylor, they're the new class. Adam Rowe is great, I wanna do that show.

But I'm just wondering, I could be fully wrong, and I'd love to go there and have you go, you're actually completely wrong, or have you go, it split the difference, you're half right, or have you go- You're right, sometimes you're wrong. Actually, you are a little little right it's a little like stepping back in time well so like when I went to the LA we're still the

cutting edge of all things in that space yeah LA versus New York the comedy scenes and was like well it can't just be like it's LA versus New York and then Comedy Store yeah first LA or New York right because that was a different thing than LA sure so if you go to so it might be that when London to my I gotta'm like, Oh, I got to find my crew. You might want to find the crew. Every time I go there and I talk to people there, I get the idea that they are. I go up at the end of the words. Yeah. Yeah. They're in a very interesting place and it's, I recognize it as very similar to what comedy felt like in 2012, 2012 in New York.

You wanted to get on a panel show. Yeah, late night. You wanted to get a good review. You cared what the press wrote. They were like a real thing. You wanted like a celebrity to co sign you on television. You're trying to do a book. You're you're you're you're you're you're you're right now in New York is like, what's your new interesting

idea? Yeah, we just got like a story wars or Yeah, right. Let's go outside the box. And that's like, Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, I think that is very much a formulaic thing over there. Yeah, fit in. And that's so that's how LA oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. I think that it's very much a formulaic thing over there. Yeah. Fit in. And that's so that's how LA used to be. Yeah. Yeah. This meets this. That was what it seems like to me. It seems like there's certain venues and certain theaters and certain tracks to be on and certain people. And I'm excited to find out. I'm excited for you to find out. Yeah.

I'm really excited. Buddy. Thank you. Once again excited for you to find out. Yeah. I'm really excited. Buddy. Thank you. Once again. Watch the special please. When does this come out? Who knows? As soon as possible. I got a couple.

Tuesday, April 15th. No, it's out. It's on Netflix. Tuesday, that's already. It's tomorrow, but whatever. I'm just saying. If it comes out in a week. What's it called?

Yeah. Well, I'm your mother. It's on Netflix. I'm your mother. Go watch it. I put a drop in earlier in the episode So don't worry about that. Oh great But that's exciting they're finally well not finally I guess through other time too, but they're like It's just like there's a few people that I'm sure you've heard this before who said okay

If you're not gonna take me I'll do my own thing. Yeah, you do the only thing so well Yeah, like actually can you please come here? And then you go, okay, yeah. I didn't do it well enough for London. That's my final phase, being accepted by British aristocracy. You're like. Just a bunch of red face people, my people. Yeah, shut the blinds.

And I'm Irish, but I'm willing to kind of side with the crown. Like a real Dubliner. Well yeah, it's like, hey, you never built a building over three stories, I'm gonna go with the crown. I like it, yeah. They have this thing on Ireland, that it's all rolling countryside

at Hillbillies and Rednecks, and then they're like, you know we have a tech sector. Yeah, but you know, do they, we talked about that on my show the other day. Google, if you want, just as our final thing, Google, Google, Google Ireland. And I'm gonna show you their tech sector. Okay?

Hit image, no Google, no Google, Google Ireland. Ireland, Google. Literally write Google after. Now, hold on. There there is there is a there is a picture here, which I don't know if it's here right now, but there was on my show a like old landscaper. Yeah. And he's just this old Irish guy like

just Google headquarters, maybe. And like he's just like doing and he's like he's like doing the just maybe hit the Google headquarters go to the right hit that Google. Yeah. And see what else comes up because there was just a photo of this old Google this old guy and it's like there's no decisions been made in Ireland. There's not one important decision at Google being made in Ireland. No way. They're just there. Take zero way. Zero chance. They're like, hey, so what does Maliki think about this? Hey, does does Rory have any thoughts that's pretty much he's running it there it is all right well thank you yeah buddy I've watched that

what's it called again I'm your mother I'm your mother Netflix is that part from a bit or just on your own okay yeah it's fun to do a title like what one line for my special I wanted something else it wouldn't let me do it I wouldn't let me do it They wouldn't let you my son's pussy. Why wouldn't they let you I don't know I Love when a company it's the same thing. We're talking about hate Ashbury. Yeah, I'm thankful They put me on it goes from Norman going kind of call it Hitler's Hitler's dog and they go Yeah, it goes really and they go buddy, right? We're here for the artist. You can do whatever you want. We're supporting you.

They're like, oh, nice. I love Netflix. Yeah. You want to keep it under 70, or we'll make sure no one will watch it. Thank you. Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it.

Well, everybody, that's the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did. Tim's always fucking, he's so consistently good on podcasts. He's always ready to fucking go for it. And he has outsider ideas that are like, no one even thinks about the stuff he's thinking about. It's pretty interesting.

Go check out his special, I'm Your Mother on Netflix right now. I'd say leave a comment, but Netflix does not allow comments to be made. Myself again, get tickets at Ari Shafir.com for Charlestown West Virginia July 12th and June 18th in Anchorage Alaska. Those are my last dates until 2027. Let's read a couple postcards before we go. People are sending these to UB Trippin, care of Ari Shafir, 151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 1003.

Also, I gotta tell ya, by the way, subscribe wherever you're listening. Today's episode was produced by Your Mom's House Network. It was edited by Alan Caffey, expertly as always. By the way, Alan, if you're listening to this, that thing you did in the Joggers episode where some fuckin' gypsies doing gang signs behind, you zoom in, that's the kind of shit I'm talking about.

I love it, I love that. Zooming in on fucking Andrew Schultz's butt when he was farting. Yeah, that makes it better than just fucking watching it. Good job, guys. And why MH Crew is fucking rad. And by the way way they helped with the storytelling show, helped produce it. The end and what a great team to work with

from the top to the bottom. Any comic listening if you're looking to like actually produce a show. YMH is your jam you guys. Also I'd like to get well let's read some postcards but I also have to get my tip of the week by recommendation of the week. I'm gonna keep doing these, I fell off for a little bit. Something great that I see that I'd like you guys to know about. This week, Valerie June at Town Hall. God damn she's good. What a fuck, I mean I've listened to her albums, one in particular, the one with just all white with the long hair. She's wild. I mean, she's barely holding on to reality She's legitimately speaking a different language than we are like

crazy down But she holds it together just to bring in these like fucking beautiful song Rocks hard The whole setup was great. Oh Anyway, anybody can see Valerie June on tour. Fucking go see her. She's. I mean, listen, I know what I am and I get to, uh, connected to fucking the arts. But I was bawling like four times.

Like, like shake balling. Just goddamn a great fucking show. show I mean I would definitely see her again okay let's read one where the fuck is this from do you see that I see a fucking stamp fuck does that say let's see what it says. Oh wait, it's right here. Frank Gehry, the foundation The foundation Louis Vuitton is a perspective to speech hard deemed. Maybe it's France Hi Ari, bonjour from France. I should have just read the first line. I should have just read the first line About 15 years ago. I left the US For the first time your skeptptic Tank episode with Rolf,

two Fs, he only has one, is that right? You misspelled it, I was right. Was one of the most informative, inspirational pods to me at that time. Thanks man. Yeah, that Rolf one we did in the park, four plus hours in the park in Skeptic Tank. there and talking about trouble me and Rolf when we talk about travel we just keep going back and forth and hitting each other with new

ideas well if you gotta come back before I'm gone so we have that time since then I've made a point to get lost for as long as possible every year visiting Paris is the 27th entry into my ever growing net of exploration. Well written. Thank you. Here's what I do by the way. Two new countries every year. Two new countries every year. If you'd listen to the Paul Morrissey episode. By the way I hope you guys understand at this point the the the podcast you know about Tim Dillon notwithstanding right now, the guests you know about are not gonna be the most interesting stories.

Giulio Gallarotti, Mike Cannon even, Rolf Potts, Zane Jurecki. The ones you don't know about, trust me, I'd bury them if they weren't good episodes. Except Agent Apollici, that was a terrible episode. I was, Portugal, it was good. What'd you do? Eh, how are the people?

Fine. Thank you for your positive service, sir. More soon, I'll be in Armenia and Georgia this summer. Love, Tara Anne. Well Tara, let me make one comment. Your handwriting is that of a man. You have terrible handwriting. I can generally tell a woman's handwriting.

I was surprised that it said Tara Anne at the bottom because I was positive this was a man sending this. I do two new countries every year with the exception of the COVID year only got one country it was Ecuador but all of November and December I was there and then into the next year but I got two countries that next year also every other year minimum to average probably two and a half to three and it makes me go places it makes me go oh shit only got one country. It's December, I have nine days off from doing gigs.

I gotta run somewhere. So in those instances, I've hit Dominican Republic for eight days. I've hit Guatemala for 12 days. I hit French Polynesia for like four days. People are like, you went to French Polynesia for four days? I'm like, I had to cross something off my list. I did New Year's Eve there. Did the

Ecuadorian tradition of... I'll cover that in the Ecuador episode. I've still got to get some more people to interview me. Sal, come in the process of redoing this the patreon is done everybody I've got to get okay I've got all the submissions we're done with submissions and a narrow him down for the trip around the world Ari Shafir is sending someone on a trip around the world ish eight to twelve months depending on how much you spend. And I'm narrowing down the list. We've got about 20 qualified candidates,

and I'm gonna narrow it down from that. The patrons from the UB Trip and Patreon got it together. We raised that money, and we're sending someone around. I don't know who else does it, besides the Mr. Beast type people. But for the people who are in a regular, legitimately, I looked it up, average economic place for

their age. It's slightly below average to be honest. I give up a lot of money. I'm fine with it. But like, I own my own car. Hey Ari, big fan, if you need a long trek, if you want a long trek with Tibetan Buddhism and great vibes, Sum Valley Monastleu Trek is the way to go. I had a blast.

I had a blast. I use Nepal Eco Adventure Guide Company. Love from Antonio from Australia in Nepal. Damn bro. Look at these Nepalese stamps. Look at these Nepalese fucking stamps Pretty fucking cool and that's the address you can send it to 151 first Avenue number 49 New York, New York 1003 Pretty fucking badass

Well, everybody that's the episode. Next week Fearless and Far is coming in. Mike Corey and a really, really great one about the dark continent of Africa went to the Congo. I mean I'm telling you guys subscribe and also hit the reminder button. There's a reminder button on YouTube. That's a great episode and it's coming next week and I got to him legitimately from your suggestions on YouTube comments and man it worked out. I mean did the wildest fucking stuff. I'm talk about hunting alligators for food and trade and just like warlords and

fights I like this podcast is a difference in them the H Foley was like I went to Greece I can't believe it I rented a car which is great and these guys that go to places were like I would never go that's crazy it's crazy you could die and you should have died and And also, not fun, but also hella fun. So tune in next week to Mike Corey, Fearless and Far is his YouTube stuff. And check out Tim Dillon's special, I'm Your Mother on Netflix.

Until next week everybody, wait, how did I? Cheerio from merry old England.