You Be Trippin' - Mexico w/ Josh Wolf | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Check out Josh's new special! The Campfire Special https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgXSWbF02WE Follow Josh on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/joshwolfcomedy/ SPONSORS: -Go to https://everyplate.com/podcast and use code TRIPPIN199 to get started. Applied as discount on first box, limited time only. -Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/trippin -Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/7chyhxwm   #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement . Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast   for full disclosures. Josh Wolf joins Ari Shaffir on You Be Trippin to share how he wound up banned from Rosarito. What started as a belt buckle hustle—buying them cheap in Mexico and reselling in L.A. to pay for his wedding—led to border searches, shady strip clubs, and a man named Juan coming to save the day. Adiós! You Be Trippin' Ep. 85 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:13 - Access To Comedy 00:05:43 - Ari Pushing The Envelope 00:09:55 - Faces Of Death 00:17:03 - Going To Mexico! 00:31:08 - Getting Searched 00:37:51 - The Deal 01:00:35 - The Food 01:12:36 - Josh's Mushroom Trip 01:15:52 - Tecmo Bowl: Bo Jackson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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or go to explorevolvo.com. as you've gotten older with your stand-up what has changed the most for you why you're telling something is it not just to be funny as it has it changed for you in that way so it's like it's like duncan said this once about the woke terrible word but like um the la comedy scene yep and he goes it wasn't first it wasn't enough to be funny they also wanted to be messianic they also wanted to start this crazy hashtag or do whatever but then eventually the messianic part outweighed the funny part. So, but our school was always like, be funny, be funny. And it's like, all right, now you pretty much know how to do that. So now what, don't leave that behind.

That's the basis. You know, like a microphone. I need a microphone. We didn't start with microphone. Sometimes like, we don't have one for you. Yeah. I'm like, I guess I'll yell, you know, coffee shop shit. And now microphone is set. So I'm like, no, what kind of different things can I do with this microphone? I can hit myself with it. I could yell and scream and take it away and whatever. So the funny is always there

And now, all right, on top of that, what? And I went to Edinburgh And they were all doing these stories And these like themes. It was like our Edinburgh, what I heard And I actually told my agent, I said, I'd like to do it.

He said, it's no pay. I go, yeah, but you get to No pay. It's not about that. No, but you get to do an hour of a more of a piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're willing to go with you

because it comes from that willing to go with you on a thing. But this guy, Steve Bouget, I did a thing about picking up his friend, his chick friend. He always had a crush on. So that's like in there. But she's getting married. She goes, hey, if you're coming from that, you pick my father up and give him a ride, sure. He's been in prison for 20 years.

This is his first time out. This is a true story? Yeah. And now I have a road trip with this guy who's like, hey, stop here. There's a whatever. And he goes, that's a rest stop now. He's like, seeing the world. What's a CD?

Didn't know what a CD was. It was 10 years ago. That's a crazy story. Yeah. And then just like, and he goes, and by the way, I know you're thinking, what's in jail for it. It's like, he should have been in there. Bad things. Like, like, he has a bit frightening. Yeah. Yeah, it was cool. But that was like a chronology thing. Other people like Finn Taylor did

all about like white people. And then he did another one about like the Me Too movement and like South Park covering every angle on it. But it's a, everything's themed. It's not just like I'm telling No, they have some guys just doing jokes. Yeah. Sometimes the theme is a little under, just kind of like Oasis's first album was about trying to be. him rock stars but it wasn't that heavy-handed right and the next one is about being a rock star um but it wasn't like that in your face some of them are just like like it's there but it's not that in your face i'll tell you you just learn them all you see them all it's like the beetles in india where you're like oh new okay by the way the beatles indian songs are maybe the only beatles

songs i don't like i'm like is that a sit tar yeah dude the george harrison i'm like i get a little too influence those are the only ones i'm like i'm going to fast forward past that fucking song i i um yeah i i have really loved i i have never watched so much comedy as i have in the last two or three years it's so accessible now with the internet and then you see people doing different things it's kind of invigorating very this thing of like i don't want to watch people because i'll get influenced like that's done you know your jokes you know everyone else is at this point you know what's about you and i only did that i did that with i can tell you i did that with louis early on because I knew we were both talking about kids.

Oh, right. And I never wanted him to hear him say something and be like, well, now I can't. Right. Or I never wanted to hear him say something and then write a joke because it happened in my life and be like, wait a second. Is that seed in there because... Yeah, you'd rather, let me develop my own. I might do something nearby. Yeah, I would rather just if some, because everybody, we have shared experiences.

Yeah. So there's some shit that happens. Yeah, yeah. There's some, like, I'm not the only person who's kid. Challenged him to a fight. Right. One, by the way. Nice.

Congrats. Let's start this. Okay. Where you've been and where you're going. This is our East travel show. Yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's you be tripping.

Yeah. Hi, everybody. I'm trying to just not an announcer voice. This is what I usually do. Hey, guys. Welcome to the... You have a natural announcer. Yeah, maybe.

I used to get that in college. I was people like, you should do radio. Are you like, are you calling me ugly? Yeah, I don't know what you meant. Yeah, I just remember of Wayne's World. Guys, it's a travel podcast. I talk to different people every week about a different place they've been. It's the only podcast.

It's been recognized by the ASPCA as a family-friendly, I'm sorry, animal-friendly podcast. We won the highest award for the water buffalo in East Senegal, where we were called too helpful too helpful yeah we were fucking them oh yeah Josh wolf is on the podcast today

someone I've known since my open mic days and comedy yeah yeah we're for sure the novel cafe

I have a decent memory of the novel cafe you also to me were the first person on the internet that I knew that was pushing the envelope in in a huge

were like this is in the bumfights era yeah but you were the first comic on there who was pushing an envelope that none of us were even close it's early internet very early internet but you were definitely doing things that I was like oh he's going to get punched yeah in the face I did did you oh a few times during like amazing racist sketches yeah yeah people punched me before they realized because also back then the internet wasn't a thing where you could sniff out wait is this is there a camera it was pre-hidden camera yeah it really was pre-hidden camera so it really was just like no one would think to look for that no but they were like is this dude just a fucking asshole yeah right i mean i'd be i'mtrak employee stop his car pull up we're just doing a set-up

scene yeah me and a clan outfit crossing the tracks to the bad side of town this guy fucking stops gets out fucking throws me against it i'm like no no joke joke i'm at you what the fuck you should know about i'm like no no no it's not even that i'm not even in them Yeah, I'm trying to explain. I like that you pointed to your nose, dude. That's the tell. That's the tell. Can I, you know, I have, so I'm Jewish, right?

Okay. I have people say to me, oh, you don't look Jewish. And I'm like, the books I'm supposed to mean. By the way, I take it as a compliment. I'm like, I know what you mean. And thank you. That is a compliment. It's compliment to you, insult to the race.

That's exactly what it is. I'm like, I'm going to say thank you because I think that's how you meant it. But not to everybody else. Yeah. You're smart for a black. Like, okay. The,

a black is. A black is the new. It's so much meaner. Instead of like, he's black. You're like, you're a black. I'm like, oh, black. I don't know why that sounds so much harsher. It's so much worse.

Because when you say you're a Jew, no, totally fine. You're a Mexican. You're an Asian. yeah you're a black is like so much harder than all of those it really is yeah and i don't know if it's the hard k at the end maybe it's the hard k the beginning of the the beginning okay the last k there is the beginning of the triple you're all black is like yes i i i yeah i i remember the early internet you

and I also like early internet I was like well this is as far as this is gonna go right nobody's ever gonna it was it was just no rules early podcast like that too was like do whatever you want no now it's like studio this is a show

what was the impetus for your the amazing racist they called these people worked for national lampoons called a store so we're thinking of doing this sketch the Amazing Racist, which is a playoff, the word Amazing Race. Do you have anyone that's like Jewie looking or something like that?

And they said, Jeff Ross. Not Josh Wolf. Yeah, not Josh Wolf. Jeff Ross goes, no, I'm busy. And I was working as Duncan's assistant then, Tom Winter. And I was like, I can do it. And they're like, all right, it was no money, really. I think it was like a grand.

And then I met with them. And I was like, oh, I get what you guys are going for. But I'm like, what? It's like, let's go for it. They had these like light ideas. about like it'll just be like you saying a couple racist things i'm like no no no no sure that's fine then the joke is just amazing race to amazing racist like let's make it live on its own where the the take off of amazing race doesn't even you're not even noticing that like when you

want door to door selling like dogs at a chinese restaurant and like oh there's just the worst possible stuff like let's fucking go and they're like okay and then we just went and then they were like well we'll rent a clan outfit for you we'll rent a you're like I got one. It's like it's best I don't waste this one. This one's got the, yeah. Yeah, it was fucking nuts. I do miss those days where it felt like the Wild West.

Yeah, it really was. There was no rules. And also like JustMeet.com was on there. You can see death videos, see Kirk Cobain's autopsies. You can see people getting him by trains. That was. Yeah, it was like there are no rules except nudity. But even on the other sites, nudity was fine.

Pre you too how old do you 50 so you you had a VHS of Faces of Death passed to you right Somebody else's house but yeah but but that was like at the time Faces of death That that was I remember the first one of those where I was like are they Beating a monkey in the head right now to eat its brains? Oh It that yeah, yeah Now I don't know how honestly because Because at the time, it was so out of...

Yeah, I wonder what it would be like, no. I honestly, I don't remember all of it. I remember saying we got a, um, we got a, we gotta, we gotta go to a country in a second. But I remember saying the beheading video of, I forget his name, Epstein, Einstein, some, some reporter in Afghanistan. Yeah. And they beheaded. And the beheading wasn't like, like you thought was like, like that machete, you just chop, roll. Yeah. It was like, oh!

Yeah. And then, like, five percent of the weights. And then keep going and tell a, like, that. Eventually he's dead. That was a rough one. Yeah, I saw it once. Same thing with Mr. Hans. Yep.

With the horse fucked him to death. So I was like, well, and I watch it back. And you watch it halfway to the second one watching. You're like, oh, actually, that just went inside. Yeah. I'm disturbed now. I think I'd be more desensitized to it now because since that time, we've seen some. We've seen so much.

Awful shit. Yeah. But that, I do remember that one. Hey, guys. I'm going to break in real quick to tell you a little bit about the guest, Josh, Octavius. wolf yeah he's got a great podcast called the hey man it's available on his youtube account josh ruff comedy it's also got a great tour going on right now but today's a very special day because josh has a new special out right now it's the biggest time of the year

probably in a two-year period for a stand-up comedian when they have a special out his new special the campfire special is available right now on youtube at youtube dot com slash at josh wolf comedy that's it uh youtube dot com slash at josh wolf comedy uh the campfire special, please go check it out right now and tell him that you're glad he's out of a Tijuana prison and he made it out safely to do a great stand-up comedy special for you guys on the number one platform for stand-up comedy specials YouTube.com. Josh also has a great tour going on right now. Um, uh, oh, piranha's in there. He is appearing. All dates are available at comedian Josh Wolf.com. He's appearing at

at, um, Kimmel? He's in Las Vegas night. He's in Eugene Oregon. How do I do this? San Francisco, California, at Cobbs on October. Jimmy Kimmel's, Las Vegas in October. Batavia, Illinois. Las Vegas, Nevada, back at Kimmel's.

Spokane, the Spokane Comedy Club. What a great club that one is. And what's up back in Las Vegas? Oh, he's in Las Vegas a lot. I get it. It's like a residency of sorts. Isn't that cool? A residency.

Punchline in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Back at Kimmel's in Las Vegas. I guess it's a residency, like I said, Montfield, Connecticut at Comics, Mohegan's Son. Laugh Boston in November. That's a cool one. Those good guys over there. Royal Oak, Michigan. Las Vegas.

Boise, Illinois. In fact, I've been there. It's a solid club. I saw a guy there. I saw a guy there completely shatter his leg, and then didn't feel it. Me and O'Neill saw him. It was fucking wild. He snapped his leg right in half. It was just hanging, like Anderson Silva. And he was like, oh, man, I'm going to miss work tomorrow. I'm not even supposed to be here. I call out sick. I'm not going to be able to go in tomorrow. They're going to know. The fucking paramedics came. They said, sit down. He goes, I don't want to already be embarrassed. I'm like, buddy, you got to sit down. That was wild. Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Omaha, Nebraska, at the Funny Bone, and that's it. Nope, San Diego at the Comedy Store, December 26th. All tickets, again, are available at Comedianjoshwulf.com. I have nothing to promote except this podcast. Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. I hit the reminder button as well. To me a favor. I know you haven't hit subscribe yet.

Some of you, 100,000,000 people have. Why are you not one of them? Hit subscribe right now. Also, you can go to r. R.E.Shafir.com, or if you're on YouTube, look below for a bunch of merch. Stay Positive shirt, which is the main message

for my special America Sweetheart. You can check out that special on Netflix right now. My other special, uh, Jew, it's available on YouTube.com.

Uh, I was called by the New York Times. Um, other specials appeared this year on YouTube. Thanks for the support. Dave Chappelle came up to me out of the blue and said,

I heard your special was amazing. And I was told by that by people who legitimately hate you so you know it's a good compliment. That's Dave Chappelle. not have his way to say that. It was wild. Didn't watch it. It would be nice if he watched it, but at least he heard about it. New York Times referenced it as other specials that have appeared on YouTube. Anyway, it's there. But anyway, get all this merch right there. You'd be tripping

shirts, stickers, the R.E. Shafir cat shirt. It's my favorite, to be honest. You rock it. No one will even know what you're talking about. It's just a cat that looks exactly like me. Do you guys have a good Shroom Fest? I hope you did. I hope you had a great Shroom Fest. If you want a Shroomfest shirt, if you celebrated this year, we'll get into details of next year. Still a few limited edition Shroom Fest 2025 shirts available, almost all gone. So if you want one, I would get it right now. That's it, everybody. Let's get back to the episode.

I'm Rory Shafir, and I support Josh Wolf. You know, my son was in Afghanistan. Yeah. and he was stationed there and nice really he served yeah and so he came back we're going to throw him party and he was like hey i have a slide show for my time there i'm like great dude he he was like so he goes can i play it we were going to i go yeah we'll play it on the tv and so about 15 minutes before the party i was like hey let me just take a look at the slideshow to make sure and some of it was just him and his friends on the base and then we cut to some shots I'm like

we can't show that why like what type and he was like he was like there's no blood I'm like yeah but there's actual death right and he was like yeah but no blood I'm like yeah this is not there's eight year olds and 80 year olds dude I mean it's like when you hang out with porn stars early on and they're so casual about squirting and you're like well I'm not naked I'm like no no just you don't even know how far over the line you normally are you think you pulling it back his back, it's not. Wow, just dead bodies. No, it was like a dry riverbed, people, carpet bomb, no people.

And he's like, so that's not really showing them. I'm like, yeah, but there were people. And now there are no people, and now there are no people, you know, uh, yeah. Yeah. All right, where do you want to go to today? I want to tell you a story about Mexico. Okay. Great.

So. was it queer, bro. So. It's a cousin of mine. A preemptive, so my, my wife and I, we are people who have always gone all in. We've gone down to zero money multiple times in our marriage. Because I'm like, yeah, let's fucking try it. I'm very confident about, we're going to make money.

So let's try it, right? And so we were getting married and she wanted, we put deposits down. She wanted a certain wedding. And I was like, let's do it. We put the deposits down and basically went down to zero money. so I was like we need to find a way to make some dough yeah and my friend had come back up from Mexico when he's wearing his belt buckle and it had like a scorpion in it and had some abalone around the outside and it had like a what's avalore it's like um shiny silver like uh and I

hand stitch belt and I go my wife was like where'd you get that and he was like Mexico and she said let's go to Mexico and see if we can't figure out anyways I'll get to the trip part she ends up designing these belt buckles that we can go to Mexico and make some have dried flowers in them some have scorpions in them hand stitch bell actual scorpions actual scorpions oh interesting and hands stitch belts and so I bring them back to a friend of mine in L.A. who's in the fashion and I go how much can I sell these for we want we're making them for 12 I want to sell them for 75 this is an L.A. thing he goes I'll tell you what you can't sell them for 75 you can sell them for 25 or 300

Yeah. Nobody in LA is buying 75. They either want to be cheap or the coolest people in the world. Yeah. And he goes, you could sell those for $350. And so we were making them for $12 and selling them for $350. Wow. And selling them like crazy. We had them in Fred Siegel. We had them. It was insane. We would sell them at these trunk parties, $350. So there was this one trip down. I bring my buddy, I'm going with my buddy. And my wife was like, I need 50 of these and 50 of these. And What do you make these in these? 50 belt buckles with the scorpions and 50 belt buckles with the flowers. And I'm like, cool. That's the orders, right? We had dried flowers and scorpions and we needed the wrapped up

and need the hand stitch belts. So I asked my friend, you want to come down with me, we'll go down. And I've been down there a bunch. Where? Where is this? It's right, buddy, in Rosarita. Rosarita, okay.

Okay, and there's a open market there. Yeah. And so we drive down and we're in my minivan. And before we had left, Oh, it's the Baha side. Yeah. Okay.

Before we had left, my wife had given me the price sheet. And I'm like, I don't need the price sheet. I know what it is. And she goes, take the price sheet, what we need. Yeah. And we have a little argument. She throws it in the car. I don't think anything of it.

We get down there and I get the belts and belt buckles. Now, the belts and belt buckles, by the way, the first order we made, I call the guy two weeks later. And I go, hey, dude, these belt buckles you made were great. we need more and I order him and he goes no I don't need any money right now I still have some of the money you paid me and I go no I'm going to pay you more money he goes I don't want to do any more work I still have I'm not I'm not in need of work yet I still have money I can still live off the money you paid me what I don't need your money I want to live my life was basically what he was saying which I'm not going to lie to you are you I was a little envious of the attitude

to not want to be in the route. He was like, I'll call you when I need more money. Well, it's like, do you want to go the steak restaurant? I'm like, no, I just ate. Like, steak, though. I'm like, but I just ate. I'm hungry. I'm not hungry.

Yeah. And he was not hungry for it. He was enjoying living off of, so he had to find other people to make these. Anyways, the one person that was consistent was his belt guy. He was taking the money all the time. And he was in this market. So I go down with my friend.

This is probably got to be 12th, 13th, 14th. trip down there and as i started to go down there when i'm walking in they people start to recognize me as the white guy yeah right and this mexican guy and his older gentleman you can pass his mexican if i tan it up a little yeah yeah for sure grizzled fucking mexican hell yeah dude yeah it's the accent that gets it away i can get you a gun not today but i can get you one can i the first time i took my youngest son down there he was eight maybe seven and and And we were there for about an hour and he goes, I can speak Spanish because to him, it sounded. So he was just walking up to people going, hey, blah, blah, and I was like, hey, dude, I go, hey, dude, don't do that.

That's not going to, that's not going to bode well for us. But we get in this old couple, who I bought the belts from, we would sit and talk and have a coffee or something. And after my first trip down, he would say, hey, you speak Spanish to me. I'm going to speak English to you because we were both trying to learn the language. It was kind of fun. And I would sit with him like a half an hour and we'd drink a coffee

and butcher each other's language but try to get through it. And the wife would come out with the belts. This time down, I'm with my friend. And he says to me, hey, this is going to have to be the last time I see you. And I go, why? Because he was sexually attracted to you

and he had a wife. I wish. That would be amazing. He was like, because I got a boner. How do you say boner in English? A boner, that's right. You nailed it. Yeah.

He said, there are people in the market today who are bad people who walked up to me because this is the day I come down and basically said, is the white guy coming today? He said, people are starting to know you as the white guy who comes down with cash. With, oh, no. That's what I'm people. As I started to walk in, more and more people. because I knew I was loading this dude up with cash every time I went down. And they would try to sell me things as I walked in.

I'm like, I'm popular. These people love me. But they know I'm just some white dude with cash walking in. So he says to me, I'm going to have to ask you. This guy you do business with. Yeah. He said, you're going to walk out not the way you came in. He said, I don't know what's out there for you.

You got to get in your car. You got to go home and you can't come back. He said, if you're going to find somebody else to make a belt, you can, but you can't come back to this market. And I wouldn't come to. You're marked. I wouldn't come back to Rosarita. He was like, I'd find a different area. There's a lot of markets like this up and down the coast and a lot of people who make belts.

He said, but, you know, he was like, I consider you my friend. And this has got to be the last time we see. No way. And this was steady income for him of American cash. No, no, it's not. Wow. So, and by the way, I was like, Thank you.

And my friend, who it was his first trip down, he was like, fucking thank you. But this dude was legit, like, worried for our safety. Yeah, 20 minutes. And he said, don't. 30 minutes. The first time, by the way, we drove through, we drove down past, like, from Tijuana to Rosary to one of the first times, I, there was an elephant, there was like a circus. Yeah.

And it was an elephant just tied up to. a wooden post and I was like this feels that malephrine must be so drugged out do you want it's such an interesting thing they have they have donkeys painted like zebras and they ask they tell people to take a picture with the zebra I'm like this is a donkey yeah just like not skin breathing yeah but so the guys like go out the back don't stop drive home what and I had I was lucky that I had bought the I'd gotten the buckles first these 50 and 50 belt buckles were what my wife needed for us to sell in order to pay off the final of the wedding but so you you would gotten the buckles I'd gotten the buckles already and what saved me from getting beat up with

the buckles is I had to go to different dudes all the time because they had every guy had the same attitude I don't need your money I still have money fucking lazy Maxx That's where it came from. It was so crazy. Not lazy. They just value life. They were just like, I'm having fun with your money. Wow.

And so I didn't get pinpointed. At this market, I got marked. I walked, the guy was like, walk right out, don't fuck around. And I even asked him, I go, are you going to get in trouble for leading me out the back? He said, I'm basically, he was like, I've been here forever. Everybody loves me. They might be mad at me, but nobody's going to do it. anything to me but they're gonna it's like that scene in um glorious bastards where he gets

christoph waltz yeah and he starts carving a swastika in his head he goes he you're whatever said um you can't do anything to me he goes yeah i'm gonna and he goes you're gonna get in trouble he'll be sore at me but he's been sore at me before that's right that's right it's the same exact thing they were probably going to be mad at the guy but what the fuck man god come on he's gonna beat the shit out of this dude that's bullshit you know that's bullshit But in Spanish. Yeah. Guys, I got a new sponsor and I actually love them.

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customers with easier to run email and social media campaigns. Yeah, if you get a letter from, ooh, that's a, that's a weird animal over there. Okay, I think the dogs are coming home and I got to get out of here. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot of success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash tripping. Go to shopify.com slash tripping. That's Shopify.com slash tripping. Make your dog's dreams a reality. if their dream is to lose their toys

to someone who knows how to sell it to a better place. I'm Ari Shafir, and I support this message. Don't steal, obviously. But, you know, make money, yo. Make money, money, money, money.

And we go to my minivan. We drive up to the border. Did a minivan? Did you drove down there? I was in my... That's the only car I had at the time. You drove from L.A. down there. Yes.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and I had never been stopped at the border before. They had never pulled my minivan over. And they always asked, do you have anything to declare? Because you're not supposed to buy shit and sell it in the States unless you're paying tax. But that's what you're doing.

That's what I always do. But nobody, I always said no. And they were like, okay. They were really just checking to see if I was pulling anybody, if I had anybody in the wheel of my car. Yeah, that's it. That's right. Something's tucked up good, right? Yeah.

I get up there. They go, have you anything to declare? And I said, no. And they said, okay, go ahead and pull it over. We just want to check the van. How calm are you at this point or how nervous are you? Because of what just happened, the combination of it is very frightening to me. But I also know I got these 50 in the, I got these 100 belt buckles. And I've already lied and said, I have nothing to declare.

And they were a little, I did hide them because I knew they were asking about the declare. So I'm like, how much are they going to, they're searching for people. They're not really searching. car for goods and I don't think they think I'm running drugs and like they find the bell buckles and the guy goes I thought you said you had nothing to Claire and this is what I said off the top of my head I go I'm getting married 50 men 50 women those are the wedding gifts solid right you can and you can always play stupid American you can use that stereotype and play into it like what no that's for this and like that's exactly what we're talking about I brought fruit

over the border. And they're like, you can't bring food. I'm like, no, that's for me to eat. And they're like, yeah, that's what's not allowed. I'm like, no, no, I'm just going to eat that. And they're like, no, I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. Well, I flew to Canada and I had weed and almonds in my bag. They were mader about the almonds. They were like, how many alms? I'm like, how many in the bag? And they were like, how many in the bag? I'm like, I don't fucking know. I don't count almonds, bro. I'm not that poor. Do you need an almond, bro? You can have the whole bag. Amendros. They were fucking. They were fucking. getting really mad about the almonds. I actually asked... That's a good lie, though. The 50-50. Yeah, that's what they do for Cuba. I fucked it up when I just got back, but like you don't have non-banded Cuban cigars.

Right. And then you go, no, these are Dominican Republics. I brought these there to trade. These are the ones I traded some other ones. Smoke those. These are the ones left over. Because they can't tell. They can't tell.

There's no way to prove it. I just go, yeah, I thought I could get these back in. I thought it would be a lot of 50. I should have said, these are not Cuban. But did they take your cigars? Because I didn't say these are not Cuban. I just needed to say those words. Like you said, no, no, this is a gift for a wedding party.

You didn't have a lie ready? I didn't know they were going to search me. And then when they did, they go go to there. I thought you're allowed a certain amount. I didn't quite get the rundown correctly. That was actually the same with me in Canada because at the time, I was like, well, weed's legal here. It's legal in the States. So when they said, do you have anything to declare, I was like, yeah.

And they go, you do? I go, yeah, I go, yeah. And they were so friendly about it, Ari. that, do you know what I mean? They weren't the guys in the States. They were like, oh, you do? I'm like, yeah. And they were like, oh, just walk down the hall.

I'm like, oh, are we all going to take a hit? I'm that's cool. Yeah, I'll walk down the hall. Is this where we smoke weed together? But so they pull me over. I say the 50-50. And I think the guy knows it's a lie. And my buddy is sweating.

And I'm like, dude, be fucking cool. But also, it's Mexico. He's probably, it's hot. He's probably got diarrhea. He definitely did have diarrhea, actually. Yeah, actually. Sweating is natural. Yeah.

Do you know what the guy pulled, one of the guys who's searching my car pulls out? The fucking price sheet my wife had grown in the car. Damn it. It's crumpled up. Fuck. The guy goes, what is this? And I was like, okay. And he says to me, hey, tell you what.

At some point, you're like, you can lie all you want, but at some point you're like, now I'm insulting you to your face if I keep lying. Because it said 50-50 on the sheet. making me really mass. Yeah, yeah. And that's, when you insult those dudes in another country who can put you in a jail that you're not getting out of, at some point you have to acquiesce and be like, you know what?

Let's talk. Yeah, let's do business. And he said to me, I'll tell you what, you can take these belts and belt buckles back to where you got them. He said, I'm going to confiscate your car. And I said, car? That's where I got him. I go, you're going to impound my car.

And he said, no, impound means you might get it back. Oh, my God. This is exactly what he said to me. He said, and when you come back across the border, know that. He said, know that I'm looking for this car. And I'm going to search it up and down. I'm just now I'm trying to think of ways out. So you're with your buddy?

I'm with my buddy. So like you take the fucking land bridge. I'll pick you up in San Diego. Well, there's. But then they're going to have all this shit. There's another way out of Mexico. Yeah. that felt real dicey to me also if they call ahead if they just go look for this that just put

this license plate in how many two white dudes in a minivan but that border though the the you know and my friend said it was so funny he was like it's so much easier getting in i'm like yeah dude they don't mind if you come in they want everybody to come in yeah but i call my wife and i said to her fiancee at the time I go It's like a parking lot Yes Slowly yes

That it took forever to get By the way the day That my son decided He could speak Spanish Yeah I had to tell him at dinner Hey dude stop He was speaking Spanish to the waiter

Yeah And I go dude Stop Don't speak The Spanish To anybody else Okay do you understand me I was like

I know you don't mean to, but you're insulting them to their face. I was like, and I know you don't mean to, but don't speak to Spanish. We get to the border, and the Border Patrol guy goes, hey, do you have, can I see your license? I go, yeah, and he goes, do you have a birth certificate for the kid? And I go, no, why? And he said, I got to make sure every kid who leaves Mexico isn't Mexican, how do I know he's not Mexican? And I go, hey, Jacob, speak Spanish. And he says to the guy, he goes, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, yeah, you guys have a fucking great day. that's so funny to like how do I know he's not Mexican you're like huh yeah I could prove it yeah but anybody else be like yeah I really don't know how do I prove he's not because he doesn't look he's half Asian half Jewish so he could be a little that makes that makes that makes Mexican yeah um I call my wife and I said to her hey I got to put these back And she goes, that's not an option. We need those belts and buckles. Oh, fuck.

Stakes. My wife's sister runs nursing homes in Los Angeles. She goes, let me call Amy, see if any of her nurses have any relatives near where you live, near where you are. She calls me back 20 minutes. She goes, go to this bar, wait for, I forget his name, Juan. So you turn around from the board. turn around head back into Mexico oh wait for this dude named Juan right he's gonna show oh already like get out of there get out of there but you don't need the money like I know but I

can't dude I here's the thing I was like but we can find the money somewhere else she was like you're not coming out of Mexico without those fucking belts and buckles yeah we this is what we need I'm gonna lose my deposit you already have the money for him yeah I've paid for him it We, so we turn around. Yeah. We wait for this dude who shows up like an hour later. He sits down. He speaks no English.

He called me Yash. He goes, you Yosh? I was like, yes. Gis, Yush. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Yeah.

You know? Just like, Jish. Yash. And, um, he was like, the bellbuggles. And I go, yeah. And he goes, the cash? what cash oh he's got a coyote them i go what cash and he goes to cash i go how much cash and he goes whatever you got and i was like nah that's not and i call beth and he's like just give him whatever

you got so i gave him so we had now i got no dough and oh i hand him my money i hand him the bell buggles and now i just have to trust that josh is gonna that juan likes yosh oh yeah one and he doesn't have a yelp you can affect yeah dude i was like dude can i leave a yelp review for this transaction it and so i just had to trust he was going to meet me in san diego no and so i got a fucking weird text we made it across the border have yash meet juan but but and he just like transported him over for you just transported him over and i said how is he not going to get Why is it different for him as far as, because they don't mind, from what I understand, they don't mind a Mexican selling his wares across the border. It's me.

Importing, exporting. That's a different thing. Like, hey, no, that's a thing. You actually have to pay taxes on that. That's exactly. But him, if they could be like anything, he could say, yeah, I got these belts and buckles. And I was like, what are the odds that he's going to run into the same dude? And they were like zero.

Zero. zero odds and they didn't the guy wasn't even around when I went back across the border because that line is like yeah I mean you'd have to get to the same one he'd have to have signal for all them but the fear of it is enough I think he knew I was scared enough and definitely by my friend his sweat that he could tell that we were scared but the fact that he differentiated between compound between like confiscate and impound wow that's frightening I was like oh you can do that here like he would there was no there was no he was like you're going to go you're going to go to jail and I'm going to confiscate your car it's not with the risk it's not with the risk you're fucked

how do you even get back from san diego you get to the train station for sure they're taking my money if I get into jail yeah you're not getting that in the way out the bell buck was also gone the car is gone and I'm assuming I'm not going to do too well in a Mexican jail a you a you named Yash in a Mexican jail is not going to do so well but I had never been in a foreign country

and I've traveled probably not as much as you but I've traveled I've never been nervous about jail before right and how much of a target I would feel like an American

in a jail broad but a broad you don't have a target on your back right navigate the politics of the prison. If you were, because you were in China, an American in a Chinese jail

is, I'm assuming not gonna, not gonna. I thought they get beaten every day by multiple people, or I'd be their God. The tallest person they'd ever seen in their life.

They'd like, ooh, can I get a picture with you? Yeah. You know? Yeah. One of those two, and neither way would enrich my life.

No, a foreign jail to me feels like, like a real stain on my life yeah they were talking about Cuban jails and like you don't want to go don't fuck with it you don't want to go there's rats just like you just don't want to be there how long were you in Cuba six days not that long but they were like don't fuck around with the laws for real yeah they're gonna go jail you'll get let out eventually but like a week there is gonna really fuck your life no weed no drugs I ended up smoking some weed how was Cuban weed well you know how weed works You haven't had any for three days and everything hits hard.

Yeah. It's like you just reset to base level so fast. Except that Australian weed was, the Australian weed was. No, worse than the world. Worse in the world. I talked in Indonesia. Brown weed is better than Australian weed. I, I, and they go, no, you haven't smoked the right weed.

I'm like, no, you guys think your best weed is. It's like living in Kansas City and going, oh, the chicks here hot. I'm like, you have no idea. I've lived in Los Angeles. You have no idea what you think hot is meaningless where I was from. no dude go like just fly to miami stand in the airport just stand in the airport oh yeah oh yeah

I don't want to go back to cana city yeah why do you think it's so bad in Australia and they're so generous with it yeah whenever they're like I got some great weed for you I'm like do you hey I'll tell you about a scam I've legitimately almost fallen for two different times when I'm looking for an apartment in New York

and I'm just at the end of my robe and you just oh I found the perfect apartment two bedrooms high ceilings a terrace only two grand. The parents live in Hong Kong. Their kids don't visit anymore and they just want to get some money for it. I'm in.

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For a limited time only, new Cash App customers can use my exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real, just download Cash App. use my exclusive referral code secure 10 in your profile send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account terms apply that's money that's cash app app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash app's bank partners prepaid debt cards issued by sutton bank member fdic instant discounts provided by cash app a block ink brand visit cash. app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. I have a couple of theories. The Coke and stuff, some of it's important, not made there. We doesn't hold this because you just grow it, right?

But the Coke is harder if it's an island, sort of, so it's harder to get stuff there. It's in the middle of nowhere, nowhere. But the theory I heard a long time ago was that the cops impounded a big drug shipment once. And they go, we've confiscated, and then, you know, those tables, all the pictures you see, of drugs that like look what we did as they're doing like a press conference and I'm sure they've taken whatever they need for themselves before they show it of course you know all this moneyless drugs and they go so here's all these drugs and they go that's three million dollars worth of cocaine marijuana and this whatever there's three million dollars with a cocaine two

million dollars with a marijuana this and that now that now is just the price that was an inflated price but they called it two million dollars with a weed when it should be four hundred thousand dollars with the weed so now the price just is that because that's the public traded price and it just became too expensive and people just can't grow it right because they'd have great climate for growing it you would think and there's so much open yeah and maybe if we got legalized it's not legal right no it's very i would say by the way also uh i did not love the new zealand weed either and medical they have medical it should be hella good both those places new zealand weed I didn't I wasn't a huge fan of either but I'm also not a fan of a spliff I don't love the

tobacco yeah they like that I've gotten into it do you like it do you prefer it it's funny you go to europe and you're like split I'm like where I'm from yeah for black people yeah and like no way it's European or blacks yeah do you like it do you prefer it when I'm it's it's kind of it's kind of fun it took me years to get into it and then it's kind of fun when I'm out there to like roll them both just so you can just keep going I did the great Great Ocean Road in Australia. It was just spliff after spliff. We'll pull over a spliff.

It covers up the smell a little bit. Yeah, but I don't love the nicotine high. Yeah, but I was also smoking cigarettes, so then it's easier. If you're not smoking cigarettes, like, ugh, get it out of here. Yeah, I do enjoy the taste of good weed. Yeah. And to me, tobacco ruins that. So as in Edinburgh, we're out watching UFC late at night.

We ran out to the courtyard at Slausis House, and it was passing around, we're all passing around joints and splits, whatever. and I pull up mine and I lit it and passed it. Some guy was like, he smoked and passed it. He goes, oh, thanks. And the next guy was smoking it. And the first guy kept coughing. And the second guy was like, dude, is this a pure?

He called it a pure. And I'm like, what? Oh, without. He goes, you got to warn people. That's bullshit. You can't just pass somebody this without warning them. You mean an actual joint? Yeah, joint.

I got to warn you before I pass you weed? I was like, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking this was even, no, they were out from. you got to save those tobacco in there. Yeah, for sure. As a matter of fact, without a doubt, that's a fuck you to pass somebody a spliff

who doesn't know you're getting a split. Yeah, it's like, come on. Yeah, dude, where's the weed? Yeah. I'd like to get high. I'm actually for the first time in probably 30 years, sober for like almost two months. No weed, no nothing.

Oh, really? And I was going pretty hard. I don't know if I told you this. I was taking like three grams of mushrooms before every Friday night show just to go on stage and really just see what happens

but but the no weed it's been 30 I don't know how long you get out of it pretty quick though right yeah the dreams you got the dreams that was maybe the craziest part where you're like is this what happens with people the dreaming and

what's the long as you've gone without weed a month in the last you know a few times i did sober january last year um i've done sober october and yeah so about a month and it's like oh no when i was in southeast asia it was a couple months why because it was so illegal no it was legal places no i might not i found it here there i found it a beach in cambodia i found it a place in thailand i'd find it once in a while but definitely a month. A beach, by the way, is if you're looking for drugs, it feels like a good place to go find them.

So there, they'll be like a Bob Marley, like a themed, not themed even, but just like adorned place. It's the ways, but they'll sell you joints. And they'll have a deal with the cops. They're like, we're the ones you don't fuck with us here. They just have a deal where it's like, if they're selling them that publicly, you're fine. In Mexico on the beach, those people who sell like the sombreros and the

ceramics they'll go sombrero ceramic cocaine marijuana yeah yeah Jesus dude there's a couple levels up these are goods yeah and this is drugs you're that's such a huge drum yeah you go from marijuana to like you mushroom then then coke that it's like Jesus did you say hairless cat dude yeah that is such a weird combination from sombrero wait so let's get back to Mexico well I guess you just were so how did you so then what happened we were both sweating driving across the border just because I think this dude has got a heart on for me yeah it turns out he was just trying to scare us and I think he knew 100%

this dude is scared enough he's bringing it back to wherever but I couldn't go all the way because the first guy was like meet me in rosarita I'm like can't do that I've been told specifically your rosarita privileges have been revoked don't drive the van to rosalisa read it they know your van so i can't do that so i had to meet this dude in a place el gringo regresso exactly dude and it was right across from a strip club called bada bing oh wow in sp in mexico i was like that's a crazy that means a i just thought like some mobster from new york was like i i'm in trouble i need to sink some money in somewhere Yeah

Bada Bing That might be it Brother Rita, yeah Yeah That's cool Dude, by the way The LAP Mexican rules at strip clubs are

It's kind of like Just horror houses, right? And then they have like A strip club to get ready To pick which one Yeah It's so funny Because you see the guys

The Mexican guys Who don't have the money For a full hooker But they're like I can dance with them I can have a drink While I We went to one

strip club it's so funny because you're going to be like it's almost like you want to get out of here yeah yeah sure I was waiting for you to ask yeah and then they just come back to the we went to one strip club where my friend had never

okay we were watching this woman dance and this was on a completely different trip but it was me and a friend of mine and a girl who was on the trip with us and she was looking at this dancer and she was like

what is that hanging out of out of her vagina. And I was like, that's her vagina hanging out. She had never seen an outy. She had only seen innies. She was like, wait, what? I go, yeah, you did.

Who was this? This was on very early Chelsea. Yes. Oh, okay. This was very early Chelsea lately. She would bring us all on trips. And we were at this strip club. And this girl just could never seen an outy.

All she had seen is like the sideways Homer Simpson mouth. do you know what i do you know yeah yeah so she had never seen like the full like and she was like whoa this is i remember seeing what it was like what yeah yeah yeah it's not the pictures it's no nobody takes pictures of those dude on purpose and he's and outies damn yeah but we got across the border man we pick up the bell buckles those bell buckles and bells and belles buck buckles. I ended up paying for my entire wedding. They paid for three months of rent and all my bills. We were selling them for $350. I was buying them for 12 each. And the reason the business went under is because the people who are making the buckles, the guys who were running out of money

and they'd call and go, hey, I can make you buckles now. And I'd say, hey, I don't need your buckles I'm getting it from this guy so they would make them and they started selling them in Tijuana for $25 somebody from Fred Siegel went down and were like hey I saw this belt buckle that I spent $350 on for $25 in Mexico and the business was up oh really yeah yeah that's what it is wow 35 grand and $1,200 and cost that was just one trip right wow that was just one trip wow It was really crazy what we were. Now, we would sell them, if you sold them to a store, right? I had to sell them for.

They sell them for $3.50. You'd get less for them. But if we sold them at one of those trunk shows, somebody's house, $350. Wow. Cash. $33,000 in profit minus the gas to get down there and whatever. Yeah, it's a food and hotel. How much food costs in Mexico?

No hotel. You get them and come back. Wow. It was crazy. we would my wife and I would walk down Ventura Boulevard and also we were both trying to be artists and when somebody came up to us and were like you're the belt buckle people I was like

that's the last time we're selling those I don't ever want to be known as the belt buckle dude you know that was that's not the goal it's funny when you go to some like little market but like in like whatever a foreign version of Union Square is you see them making stuff you're like look at these burnouts and fucking wanderers

and drug addicts but like these are actually really fine quality They're like artists too Like I take shells I find it I sand them down and polish them And I make a buck and it's like oh You want to be like get out here a beggar We're like guys I'm doing cool things

I wonder if you Googled Scorpion Belbuckle Mexico If one of them would come up Um Yeah But they at one point we're putting tarantulas in them We dude I needed That's it

Okay with the avalon on the outside is what see that one right that that was that look like it yep it has that shiny right i mean it's beautiful but it was it's gorgeous so that's a belt buckle that was a belt bro that's baller and that's baller do we were selling them pinchcliff you need this bro they you could i still probably have god damn some of them in the garage but so the original ones that we had seen were a little different like a hand card belt that's yeah And so, and we would stamp something like El Guapo on the back or whatever you wanted on the back, we would have it.

The guy would stitch it in. And so it was like, we were, people legit were walking around L.A. with those. I was wearing them. My dad would wear one, dude. This old Jew would rock, we would rock it. Dude, when you get into belt buckles, you can swap out and stuff and just have. That's what that is. It's like, it's like a new adornment.

It's kind of like a nice watch. It's just like. And they're super cool. They're super cool. You can find them in thrift stores. They'll go on my belt. I didn't understand belt. I thought they came with it attached.

So did I. But you can like undo those, do that, pull it off. And that kind, you just put them right on. Dude, I'm going to tell you something else that I didn't know how it worked. This is completely different. But as a Jew, I had never decorated a Christmas tree before. I didn't know the ornaments needed hooks. So I was trying to buy, I would, the first Christmas tree I bought, I saw the little

holes and I asked the guy at the Christmas tree I go hey where are your thin branch trees and he was like what you thought they went right down the bridge I thought they went right down what a fucking idiot what a dumb fuck dude what a dumb fucking idiot stupidest thing maybe when beth my wife was like what I was looking for her thin branch tree and she was like for what I said for the ornament she was like oh my that's the juieous thing yeah it was pretty embarrassing but these were exactly what we were selling. And we sold a smaller version also

that wasn't quite as and what do they sell on that for right now? 39 17. $39, yeah. But that's, with the internet now, it's not like you can find everything anywhere. So it's not about like, ooh, I can't find these. The silver one is more like

no, no, over one where it's just the plain silver to the right. Nope. Where the Palletian silver abalone. that one that was a lot of the plain silver around the outside people like that one a lot and then we did that version but instead of scorpions um it was dried real flowers that's cool and so we sold i went wow i drove to a store in san francisco in the pouring rain because i needed to get these

into nordstrom for a big owner yeah i remember i just walked right in and i walked up i said where's your buyer because it was Nordstrom's store number one. I was like, this must be where the buyer is. And I gave her the whole sob story. I need to sell this amount for my wedding to happen. What can you do for me? It was like... I always envy those people that go into a business.

Like, hey, who does your security? I love to talk to the owner here. It's like, door to door. You should carry our products. We make fine quality vegan milk. Dude, I grew... I just saw that the other day. Yeah, yeah.

But I ended up with so... I had so much respect for people who did that because, but you know what actually helped me with it? What? In our business, rejection, if you can't take rejection or people not laugh. It's not about that. It's not about the rejection, it's about the, what's the opposite of rejection, acceptance? Yeah.

Those are the ones, you know. So hearing a no didn't scare me to go in and ask because I was like, this can't be worse than the OR at 1 a.m. on a Wednesday. A hard no for 15 straight minutes. a very you know what you're walking into so i was like i can do this part of it but this was like one of yeah we've had some weird businesses because we've gone all in a bunch of times but this one was definitely my favorite one that's so fucking cool yeah dude did you ever eat down there or anything all the time how was it so i had only ever had main lobster i hadn't had the that

Lobster is way is closer to crab I think and not as not as um tender oh interesting and so it was more like in Cuba they're like have you had the lobster yet like saw the cabbage I was like not even trying to sell me anything it was like no I had but I didn't want him to think I was rich and he goes oh you got I mean this is a different kind of lobster you should find some better or worse than the main lobster I think worse but it's different it's its own unique thing yeah like you said for Mexico and that's the west coast of Mexico so it's probably nothing like Cuba No, but I will say that the, my Mexican friends, all they would say is, you know what's going to be the big difference?

The tortillas. And it was like a, you know what burger is made, make or break by the bun? A burger tastes like a burger unless it's really shitty or really great. Riosho is like a different thing. But the bun is really going to make your burger. The tortillas were so spectacular. It was night and day. But also, I had come from, you know, the first time when I first started eating Mexican food, I went to college in San Antonio.

And that was so much different than California Mexican food. It was way more. Right, right. TextMax is different. Yeah, it's a different thing. Way different. But the, really like the savić, which I love, was like, I was like, oh, this is really what it tastes like. And I, and.

It's funny the sufiche changes too. Ecuadorian is different than Peruvian. Is it? Yeah, one is like way like more about this. It's almost soupy and one is like chopped up bits and like almost no like water. I think I like that kind more. Yeah. The chunkier kind.

I'm also a huge refried bean guy. And the difference in the American restaurant refried bean and then deep down in a restaurant in Mexico where they weren't speaking English was market. different and also the Mexican rice it all was yeah it all had like a would you get diarrhea from it a lot I just didn't touch water and I didn't touch vegetables right that's what they say like it's cooked vegetables you're all right raw vegetables they're gonna wash it in the water you can't even see what's waiting for you no salad when I had the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life in the Dominican and I was getting on a plane and I told my I told my I told my wife, I go, go get me, a loaf of bread and a bottle of pepto bismol.

I'm making some paper mache in my fucking stomach because I got to get on this plane. I was like, I'm not not getting on this plane because I'm shitting. But I ate my stomach was like, but I paper, I built that wall, dude. Legit built a wall. I paper macheted my stomach. I thought Bobby one phrase in Cuba. I was just telling him, seen yellow,

por favor. And he's like, so he's like, no ice please. So it's like, no matter what, just learn this and keep saying it

or you might be fucked. Somebody told me also, even your bottled water when it comes out of ice, you have to wipe it down because the, a little bit, a drop on your,

wow. Especially, I don't know about you, but as a Jew, my stomach is quick to diarrhea. You're already in a danger zone for this. Yeah, it's quick.

It's quick to jump to diarrhea. Our people are quick to diarrhea dude there's no doubt about it yeah that's why matzo was always we always kept a box even when it wasn't in season my dad always kept a box of matza he was like let's get constipated yeah yeah fine fly with surfing sometimes you need to build it up my my most embarrassing times in school because i didn't grow up with a ton of jews was having to bring during that one week to bring my lunch and have peanut butter and jelly on matza and explained to people again,

they were like, no, why? What the fuck is that again? Once again, it's because I live in a fucking cult that was made up 5,000 years ago. They're like, so it's a giant cracker? I'm like, okay. No, like have a cracker then.

Like, it's different. It's not allowed. Yeah, they were like, that looks terrible with peanut bread on jelly. I'm like, it is. Yeah. It's the worst. Did you think it was good?

This is not the point of Judaism that you feel good or that it tastes good. That's our version of like the fucking lashes. You think we want to eat guilta fish? that's something yeah but the mexican i've always said i think if i had to pick one country's food to eat forever it would be mexico they're the star of the latin america mexico is a star of latin america i mean every you know what's the one on the west coast i can't think of it oh argentina not in the west but like they're the best like steak chileas is a great whatever but like

ecuador's great fish but mexico is the star i love the coastal seafood it's underrated in mexico but their seafood dishes, I think, are fucking so good. It's also all so fresh. If you stay in a coastal town, you see them bringing it in. They go right to the restaurants. Like, do you want to buy this? And then that's what you're getting. Yeah.

That makes such a huge difference. For seafood especially. Yes. I'm not sure as much for beef. Maybe, maybe not. But the seafood is like. I had never had actual be on a boat, catch a fish, make saviche. Wow.

Where it's like, what do we? Am I eating that fish that we just caught? I heard freshwater fish is even more. Like the taste for the farther it gets dead is the taste goes down more than salt water fish. That makes sense. So like if you trout fishing like fry it up while you're like while you're on a break from the fishing. Do you fish at all? No, I went with Bobby Kelly though once and we like just made it instantly in a pan like nearby

over a grill and it was like fucking wow. He doesn't strike me as an outdoorsman, is he? He's an obsessive. He's a former alcoholic and drug addict. And so he's obsessed about anything And he has to replace that Like all alcoholics All addicts

So he gets into stuff And he goes, I'll buy seven rods I'll get like you know And he's like I'll watch you two videos All day every day And you're like Yeah I got him to like start taking Spanish

I'm like you'd actually really do well Because of your addiction personality Like you're going to pick it up quick Is that who you went to Cuba with? Yeah And did he pick it up? No he when he got back Now he started on Duolingo

Or Babel one of those two Cuba is a place that I always Is there still great old American cars And all that stuff you see Yeah they can't no no The embargo they got to end that thing It's like everybody's dead Except Roel

It's like what are we doing here They're not going to comply They're not going to comply It's an empty threat You're just punishing the people Let them get a Prius Can they get a Prius You can't do business with America

You can't do business with anyone America does business with so it's like you're just like damning them it's like really a blockade around the island and by the way you know whose fault none of that is is the people who've been born in the last right yeah a 15 year old's like why the fuck is that we learned a lot about the history while we were there so we could see it on the streets and it was like we just fucked it up from start to finish the CIA the military and the intelligence from the Cuban dissidents like it was just bad intelligence done badly and then it's like you put

pushed him to communism he was like maybe maybe not and he was like oh fuck i guess i need an ally and khrushchev was like i'll help you yeah it's like sick because these guys are coming at me strong and so then he was like we pushed them to he was just super little you know how liberal and communism almost overlaps so he was just like i'm just hell of liberal but for the people and then like go communist i'm like okay i guess what were the people like in cuba and yvonne it was like a lot of people were just trying to get some money trying to get american your money because that's how you require wealth. You can't acquire wealth there.

So you need to get some from out. Right. So a lot of people hawking and trying to sell you on stuff, but pretty friendly otherwise, great culture, great music, great local music, good enough food. The good Cuban food you've had is not in Cuba because they don't have access to spices. So they can get those spices here. You can't do any trade. So they have great sugar cane, coffee, and tobacco.

In the olden days, they've been. would grow extra have everyone from them then trade the extra for berries or petrol or whatever now there's no reason to grow extra you can't do anything with it so it's just wasting this great resource so they're like that's why you don't get new cars just fix the old one we can't get a new one in here better fix the old one what's american dollar down there 320 it's not it goes pretty far a cup of coffee's about two dollars but like fine goods this thing So like some stuff is like really expensive The cigars can cost you like $20, you know

It's just like instead of 40 here This thing fine handmade $2. What? Yeah, 2,000 pesos, so maybe three But yeah, I mean it's beautiful It's going to go up on the white's wall I've got to put it up Can I see that?

Yeah, for sure. And so this artist was just on the, yeah, this artist was just on the street. Yeah, he was in a craft store, craft market. But like some of the stuff was like, oh, wow, that's that much. And I was trying to buy gifts for people. And like, I have $100 spending. Like, I can't get through it. I'm buying stuff.

And I can't get, I can't equal $100. I can't spend $100. Yeah. I know a guy who sells belt buckles who. Did you do that anymore? Afterwards. Yeah. No, because when we got back from the wedding, we were like,

we do need a little bit of money. That's when we had got a message from the guy from Fred's legal. It was like, hey, these bell buckles are being sold for $25 in Mexico. We're out. We're out. Great. For Beth and I, we were like, that's a, we're this. That's two signs in a row.

And it did everything we needed to do. It's done. It paid our rent. It paid for the wedding. I didn't get arrested, but or, listen, I don't want to gloss over the arrest part, but I think I was really close to getting murdered. Like, like, the first part of that story is that, wait for you out there, like, if that dude, didn't warn you, if they hadn't come in and said, is he coming today? If they had just waited and wait, like, all of these ifs, like, for sure, that's how people go missing down there.

Yeah, right. Because they didn't find a body. They know better. And, don't let them find the body. No, they, if you don't want, they don't want you to find a body. You're not going to find a body. But the worst thing was when I was driving back with my buddy, Gavin, I was like, dude, here's what's scary. We basically paid this dude all our money for the belts and buckles.

So it feels like they would either come at us, not had any money and gotten mad and killed us, or kidnapped. Ransomed due. That's what I would have done. They're worth something. Yes. Don't just kill them because you're mad. Like get something out of them. And guess who wasn't worth anything at the time?

Wow. Zero. But they don't understand that. No, no. It's like when you go places and they're trying to sell you on stuff and you're like, hey, dude, I want to explain to you like, anyone who has a big backpack on with like the yoga mat on top, they don't have money. Yeah. It's the one who have no backpacks. Yeah.

And somebody's carrying their yoga man. Right. That's the person with money. Yeah, I had never like. Yeah, pretty cool, huh? Very cool. I haven't been down since then. But I really do want to go back.

I don't drive a minivan anymore. so if you started making out with that thing dude I'm getting cursed that would be a fucking amazing that actually the last time I did mushrooms

yeah you saw this guy you talked to this guy I was in Hawaii in my hotel room and I swear every spirit on the island joined me in my room that night it scared like when I mean there were I had never been that intense

by that many different things and some Ari that felt really welcoming and some that were like you don't belong here. It was so fucking intense. I couldn't, every time I... This tree on mushrooms,

this type of tree, it becomes like, it's like it looks like a, like a human when you're like tripping. They're wild. These like big, it's just like this big crown and it looks like a big,

face just comes out on mushrooms that's hawai i when i was like i wonder why so many we know one of the hawaians i was like did i trip so bad that's i and all these spirits and they said do you know how many dead people are buried how many wars i and whenever you break new ground they have to check because so many people died they're just not that much land Like, he was, somebody told me, like, they have to do whatever kind of blessing or whatever, whenever they break ground on something there just to make sure they're not. And I was like, what? And they said, yeah, it fucked me up. That was the last time where I really, I would like, three grams doesn't really make me trip too much.

Yeah, you got a tolerance. Yeah, but I dose myself. That's plenty for any of you. Just try it. Yeah, actually more than enough. You're one and a half, I think, if you're just fucking around. Half an eighth. I like the three.

The three is enough where you're changing a little bit, but I'm still kind of in control. They'll have control, yeah. That's what I like on stage about it. Wow. Three fans before you go on stage. Is the, oh, dude. I actually posted one of those sets. And, you know, my son tours with me.

Yeah. And I was talking to him. I thought he was on stage with me. And somebody was like, hey. He's not up there. And I was like, what? Oh, my God. But, but I love that part.

It's actually what I love, that part of stand-up when I'm a little like- A little out of control. And not knowing how, what the next 10 minutes is going to be. Yeah. It's the fun part. I wouldn't want to do it all the time. Yeah, certain comics, I'm one year one. It's like, I like a fight.

I like to not know how this is going to go. I don't want it easy. But because. Or risk the loss. There was a time where I was like, let's just make this great. and good and easy, but you've been doing it long enough where you're like, let's make this interesting. Yeah, it's like once you got good at Tecmo Bowl, remember Tecmoble? And I was like, well, let me try to win only on safeties.

Yeah. It's too easy. So now let me try to get down to the one, turn it over on downs and then try to safety them. So I can only get two at a time. I never did that. Did you do that? Yeah. Did you ever win on safeties?

Yeah, all the time. I bet you got too good at that. But it's like, they might go for one touchdown and like, fuck, okay, I got to get four safeties to make up for that. That's not easy. Yeah. That is a weird way to look at stand. have two plays to get that safety.

Hopefully an incomplete pass and you just full blitz. It doesn't matter if they get 20 yards. Like, all right, now just stop them on downs. Get the ball back, drive back, down it. Were you ever ballsy and play against Bo Jackson? Bo Jackson was a, he was the warrior there. He couldn't stop him.

It was a code break. The unstoppable. God damn. There's never been anybody in any other video game ever that was as unstoppable as a Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson. There's a video of him trying. He just came to a Royals practice because he's like an all, you know,

Hall of Fame before them. And, uh, tell him one of the players' kids, like it's 10. He goes, yeah, I played for the road. He goes, yeah, I actually played, he goes, were you good? He goes, yeah, I was an all-star. He's like, what's your name? Like, Bo Jackson. He goes, hmm, some 10-year-old, he goes, so you only play baseball?

He goes, I play football, too. He goes, oh, how far did you get? He goes, I was a pro bowl on the NFL. Like, what? Like, yeah, yeah, it was a pro bowl on the NFL and it was an all-star in baseball. And the kid was like, really? This guy's lying. Yeah.

He was like, as he's saying it, it's like, yeah, I'm one of, if not the greatest athlete of all time. Snapping a bat over his. Dude, there will never be another one of those dudes. They would never let them Dion or anything like that because do you remember the video where he basically runs up? I got to go. I got to take it. He's so mad. He just grounded it out.

And just... Fuck me. How do you even balance it? Oh, his head? Christ. No, dude. There's a,

there's a video of him basically running sideways on the outfield wall. He was running so fast. Yeah. That you run side. Basically that, where gravity just isn't a thing anymore. Uh-huh. You know, I mean, you can do that in cars. You know, where you go up the bank.

where you're but a human that one a human isn't supposed to run sideways on a flat wall too it's not even a curved wall no okay yep what that's not normal what hit the wall who thinks to run up it up a flat wall dude and by the way he's got how many feet is that to slow down stop he's wanting to now what no no no no that's not normal stuff dude that this part look at the other guys like now you're just fucking now you're just showing now you're just showing now you're just showing off but i i yeah there's i don't think dion maybe dion was great too all right i got to run all right i got to be somewhere in seven minutes i'm not going to be at uh josh buddy i'll put in all your fucking plugs when i put this out but your specials again your

special is out now my special is out on my youtube channel it's called four stories dot com it's called four stories and because I um it's just four stories I really wanted to tell that's cool I like telling long stories and I had these four long stories and um one is like about being in a room where my buddy had sex with a deaf girl and him not wanting me to leave because he didn't want her to know that we could hear him and there's one about getting arrested at ikea there's one about being too high on a plane there's a little bit for everybody but I shot it Ari in a way

I didn't do any wide shots I wanted it to feel as much like you were at a comedy show as I could Yeah it's hard Right That's the biggest No crowd shots Good those are done

Because they don't You don't want to see Janet laughing Who the fuck cares It doesn't mimic the experience You're always staring at the comic You're not looking around When you're in the room at other people Can I tell you what else I left in here

That it's back It might be the spike Yeah I threw somebody out and my my people were like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you got to take that out. Yeah. And I said, why? This is what we go through as comics.

So I really wanted it to feel as authentic. There it is. That's me showing her, telling her earlier, hey, you got to be quiet. So I had just thrown around. I just ruined your fucking taping. Like, you got to, I don't have time for this. You got to go. But, but I was like, I'm keeping all this in.

Yeah. And I didn't cut from between first show, second show. this is one this is one show Oh so it's like earlier And it's like enough already Yeah yeah I didn't want to show both of But I really

Because I wanted it to feel like Oh I'm at I'm at a comedy show Yeah And this is what happens at fucking comedy shows So it was And I love telling long stories And if you like storytelling

Like it's a fun special Yep All right buddy Thank you so much Yeah nice to see you Great seeing you Thank you so much All right well that's the episode

You guys hope you had a good time. Wild stories. Wild stories of Tijuana. Is that the first Mexico? No, we had Touloum with Christina and Corinne. We had Touloum. Yeah, fucking wild.

This is exactly what I want for this podcast. Nuddy shit like that, being followed by bad people to do bad harm to you. Good job, Josh Ralph. Don't forget everybody. Go check out a special right now. It's on YouTube. Woof Comedy. YouTube.com slash at Josh Wolf Comedy for the Campfire Special.

Leave a comment. Let him know that I sent you straight from a Tijuana Prison to your hearts. The Campfire Special by Josh Wolf. He's also appearing in lots of cities right now. All tickets are available, comedian Josh Wolf. While I get those, let's do know today's episode is edited by Alan Caffrey's, produced by Your Mom's House Network. He has a residency in Las Vegas, but he's also performing in

at Jimmy Kimmel's, this is his residency. He's also performing in, get there, Ari, get there, get there, Eugene Oregon, San Francisco at Cobbs, Batavia, Illinois, Spokane, Washington, at the Spokane Comedy Club, Punchline Philadelphia, this is into October now, interesting, not that interesting. ville, Connecticut, and Mohican Sun. Let's figure some of it. Laugh, Boston, Royal Oak, Michigan. I think that's not it. Boise, Indiana. Boise, Idaho. Bozeman, Montana. Wow, you're playing Bozeman. Fucking cool. Never played Montana. Like to. Great, great place to float. Fort Wayne, Indiana, and Omaha, Nebraska, and finally, the Comedy Store in La Jolla, California.

What a San Diego. Outside San Diego. What a great. place that is. I mean, I know there's countless albums that have been done there. For myself, I've got nothing to promote, so please subscribe, wherever you guys are watching or listening on Spotify or on YouTube. And please pick up a stay positive shirt. Help support this podcast. But buying a little merch, Rocket with Pride. Also, get one of those stickers. A six-pack of U.B. Chippin stickers. Two of them are clear. Two of them are tan base and two of them or blue base, the blue and the tan ones stick up anywhere. What I'd like you to do, I hope you listen to me on this,

stick it up in faraway places. The Eiffel Tower, the pyramid in Egypt, something fucking wild and cool, a volcano and Iceland. Put them up there, take a picture, tight, maybe at a wide, and send it to at UB TrippingPod on Instagram, and Heather and Caitlin will find those and put them up. And it's a fucking cool way to support the podcast. And I like to see them, actually.

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And that's it, you guys. Hope you had a good time. Mexico, I remember going there for Tijuana with Bobby Lee took me there to lose my comedy virginity, which is getting a hooker. I almost left a friend there. That's a story for, for, uh, the end. It's a new name for Ari Shafir's

re-name storytelling show, and I'm going to hype it right now. I'll wait. I'll hype it a little later. It's coming. It's coming. Yeah, it's coming. All right, guys. I'll mention it more than the Harlem Williams episode. Next week, Des Bishop comes on, and the week after

that, our old pal, Harlem Williams, 2024 Trippy Award winner for best guests, most surprising, best trip. That's it, everybody. Until next week. Asta luego.