You Be Trippin' - Montreal, Canada w/ Ian Fidance | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

Follow Ian on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ SPONSORS: -Grab your own pair of The Dillon Freewaters flip-flops while supplies last at ⁠https://freewaters.com⁠ Thanks to YMH's very own Katelyn for help with this flipflop ad!!!! This week on You Be Trippin’, Ari Shaffir sits down with certified liability Ian Fidance to break down Ian’s 23rd birthday trip to Montreal. They get into the blackout road trip, public pissing while eating poutine, questionable driving decisions, and begging his mom for money after falling in love with a stripper. It’s sloppy. It’s chaotic. It’s what happens when 23-year-olds get passports and no supervision. À prochaine. You Be Trippin' Ep. 107 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:51 - Immigrants Bring The Food 00:11:14 - We Are Going To Canada! 00:18:06 - Black Out Drunk Road Trip 00:24:49 - Ari's Halloween Bar Crawl 00:32:00 - Sitting Next To Celebrities On Flights 00:33:10 - Alcoholic Ian Being Cancelled 00:35:09 - Dealing With A Naked Widow 00:38:05 - Witnessing A Bar Fight 00:42:36 - Falling In Love With A Stripper 00:44:11 - Ari and Ian Explore Poutine 00:50:36 - Scouting A Special Venue 00:57:44 - Korean Daddy Nightmare 01:00:59 - Strippers In Montreal 01:06:43 - The Levels Of Comedians 01:11:01 - Ari Showing His Piece To The People 01:17:26 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you don't look before you stage dive? I did, but I didn't have my glasses. Everybody was stage diving. They caught so many people except for me. They caught every fat person ever invented. And then I go skinny like a salmon upstream and I'm fucking done. That is the problem with stage diving. Even just crowd surfing.

Somebody's going to be like, I'm over it. Well, the whole thing is everybody's so packed up front. So it's like, you know you're hitting a wall of people. And in the video, you could see, Everybody part. I think because I got so high. Whatever. That's never, I've always been caught. And I fell so hard on my ass.

That's so funny. I saw stars. It was fucking normally. The band stars? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I felt so hard to go to see a mellow band. You know they're a singer, right?

I said to see a really melodic. Oh, yeah. Aaron. Where you've been and where you're going. This is our race travel show. Yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's you.

Welcome to you be tripping everybody. It's a travel podcast. So every week I go to a different place. The guest takes us to some place they've been. It's not factually correct. I'm letting you know that right now. It's a pretty factually incorrect podcast. It is the only travel podcast that stands staunchly against ska.

It is not part of the hardcore and punk scene. I'm out of here. It's its own thing. And actually, whether or not you like Scott, you shouldn't lump it in. It's like lumping in heroin and marijuana. There are different things. And just like heroin addicts should be killed and sent to another island, so should ska fans. My guest today is notable hardcore non-scar entrepreneur and regressano, Ian Fidantio.

Hello, everybody. Thank you for having me. You know, Ian, from a special two times a Sunday. What was it called? Wild happy and free. Wild happy and free in his podcast being Ian. Uh, with this co-host, some frumpy whore. Yes, that's, we're actually rebranding.

Rat and the Frumpy Whore. You ever rat tail? I feel like you could pull one off. We were going to change the name of the podcast to rat tails. Really? Yeah, but then, uh, you could pull it. Kept it. I had a mullet growing up.

Did you ever have a mullet? Did you ever have gnarly haircuts? Aside from what you've done to yourself? M.F. June? Like, as a, oh, wow. Oh, wow. That's great. Thanks.

It does kind of look like him though, right? It does, yeah, that's perfect. You really grow it up to your eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it gets high. Yeah. I get strays that I got to pick, but you have to, like, actually shade. Yeah, this goes, I mean, it's, wow.

Yeah, I mean, I'm touching eye socket, really. What was your question? I don't know. Ian, thanks for being here. Thanks for having. As you know, I've been avoiding doing your podcast for quite some time now. Yes. I'm doing everything in my power to not help you out.

the point where I confronted you and said, do you have a problem with me? Yeah. And I was like, I was like, which one do you mean? I was like, oh, I thought just the smell. Yeah, I had to confront you because it was on my mind and I thought that you had something. I did it at Skangfest. Personally wrong with you at a problem with me because we hang out. We go on trips together.

But not. And then I ask you to come to Brooklyn for a podcast. You act like I'm like, I live in Manhattan, bro. I'm horrible. I'm a Manhattan guy. You live in a pigsty. In Manhattan. This looks like where those migrants that live on the bicycles stay when they're not on the bike.

They really do live on the bicycles. Dude, have you gone two blocks down? Yeah. The is little sedan. It's crazy. It really is. They're praying out there. That's where I found out blacks are African or are Muslim.

Yeah. They eat. They have no shoes on. On the street. On the street. They're sitting eating on the street. On the ground. Yes.

In the little little. The tin, the metal. I did. was looking for a quick bite to eat and I came across like, oh, halal food. And then I saw the picture, it's just a tin. And I'm like, oh, this is, it's got 4.6 stars because they're the only ones eat there. In order to stay in the country, they have to vote high on their friends halal truck. Does it have rice?

Does it have some meatball? Does it have the white sauce of unknown origin? Does it mix? Dude, it is, it's the entire block is all petty cab bikes with grubhubh boxes. and a bunch of Senegalese men just yelling, cutting their toenails. Cutting toenails? Getting haircuts?

In the middle of the street? It's wild. I need a direct line to ICE in Los Angeles and say, hey, you're getting the wrong ones. Do you know? Come this way. They have this thing of like, in the UK, like immigration is a problem,

but then the backlash is like, well, yeah, but late night food now is something. Late night food here sucks. There is no late night food. But I'm saying, no diners are open. No diners are open. It's true.

But I'm saying in London, without them, there's no shwarma places. There's no cababs. There's no, without immigrants. In London, there's no late. But that's all they had before immigrants came. I'm saying without immigrants here, we're not getting packages and we're not getting delivery grubhub. Dude, we lived without it before, for some reason, I'm taking like an anti-immigrant stance right now for some reason, just to argue. That's so funny when you start arguing.

And then you realize halfway there, you're like, I actually don't believe in this. Yeah. Can I just pause? I'm just debating. I'm just debating. Yeah Just like Well yeah

But let's not forget Blah blah blah Dude years ago I used to deliver pizza In Williamsburg Is this a lie? I'm not a liar like you I remember

Like I guess Ari lied And said he loved Turnstile And he grew up With their lead singer Aaron Which is an admirable

Pull For the fences No yeah I grew up with the lead With the lead I When I said lead I was like

Oh shouldn't say that Dude actually I should have been like On this On this trip That I went on Where are we I lied.

This was my lying phase of drinking. Did you ever lie when you were drinking to pick up chicks with a lie that nobody? Like when you were like, oh, I went to, I grew up with the singer, turns off for a second. I was like, oh, my lie was, oh, I was a backup drummer in third-type line. That was my lie. That's such a wild one because you need a backup catcher for baseball. You don't need a backup drummer. Drummers rarely get hurt.

On tour, something could have. Do you know there are? Oh no, it's hockey. Huh. But there's also local musicians where you're like, oh shit, we actually need a cellist for this. They have like a go-to, like, standby, like, call where all the agencies know. That's like what, like, guitar techs are. Like if a guitarist gets injured on tour, the guitar tech takes over or whatever, like,

there's stories of metal bands. Like the guitar tech would just play backstage. Yeah. And they would like replace them. So in my mind, I was like, there's no way for them to find out. But it is kind of cool if I was the backup drummer in third house. There was some guy in the Boston area that said he was the catcher for the Red Sox, the goalie for the Bruins, and something else, like mask, all masks. And people are like, okay, the center.

This was in the 80s when you couldn't really look it up. But he was getting laid off climber bitches. It never worked for me. It did not. No, because I liked third eye blind and no one else was like, third eye blind, cool. That wasn't like a big pull. I don't know why I went. Can I have a hot take on third eye blind?

blind and the genre of the time anyway. It was the end of white dominance. And they're still happy, go lucky, in their music, but the theme started to getting dark. I wish you'd step back from that ledge, my friend. But it was like, wish you would step back from that ledge. Well, semi-junk of life is about meth. Interesting.

But it was all pop-pop, pop, pop. Yeah. Yeah. So you're saying that was the end of white. The end of white dominance in pop music? In music in general. Now it's like whites are backseat for sure to blacks. Well, I mean, it all depends on what genre.

Cross genre. I'm saying the popularity. In popularity. No, of course, in genre. No way. In country, it's definitely. Dude. Actually, it's changing other countries getting popular.

And that's all white. Third eye blind was before like the strokes and those like lowery side revival bands. Yeah, let me say it again. It's not white dominance. It's not knowing anything else was. wrong in the world. Ah. And so there's the first crack in the armor

of the Reagan 80s like, oh, everything's great, we're happy a good time. I love you. Just, uh, what's the Cindy Lopper song? Girls just want to have fun. Yeah, all that shit. And then it becomes like, oh, actually, we've been pretty bad to some people.

Yeah, I feel like third eye blind came in at the tail end of like the 90s when everything was good. Everything's great. Yeah. So that's why me and my peak white. Like, this is all fucking awesome. And some people like,

wasn't great for us like yeah we weren't looking at you yeah but also it was still pretty great I think it's still pretty great I think the 90s were great for mostly everyone across the board there's always bad for people but I feel like the 90s are great for most people yeah regardless of who you are when were you born 90s 84 there was a book about your year I know it's called being it's called being it's a fucking textbook by the way

oh really okay so you went up you went Montreal Montreal Canada Montreal Canada 2006 December this is not so when you said Montreal I thought you'd met the festival no interesting no this is peak drinking Ian Montreal New Year's Eve trip New Year's Eve is my birthday when was this 9th 2006 2006 into 2007 let me think for a second because I remember it was 36 when they told me it was too old for Montreal the same year Duncan and Brendan Walsh got it at 36 at 36 at 36 they said you're old for this and I'm like, Duncan got it at the same year.

And then the next year, Brennan got it. I'm like, what, what are you? I was like, oh, I'm just not good. Yeah. And you didn't have the heart to tell me. So it's actually easier to say, well, we're not looking at white guys right now.

I would much rather just hear you're not good. Would you? Tell me, yes, tell me I'm not good. Tell me the truth. So I can go, okay, instead of going, oh, yeah, it's this thing that I can't fix. I'm defeated no matter what. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Like, I'd infinitely rather hear, you're not good. You, we just don't think you'd have it. I'm going to work and fucking get it instead of being like, we're not taking white guys. And then I'm going to be like, oh, oh, I feel so bad.

Oh, the world's stacked up. It's like, no. But you know, if you tell 10 comics, you're not good, you're not good, you're not good. At least one of them, probably six. You know what the fuck you're talking about, man. You're too old? I'm like, I don't know the industry. Okay.

Of course, but how, they told you you couldn't do new faces at 36? Yeah, I was too old. And how old are you now? 38. I'm trying to think what year? it was though 36 so 74 84 84 94 no oh 84 94 04 10. 13 10 so 7 2010 would have been 30 that's what it was 2010 so you so in 2006 2006 I was trying to get into Montreal could right back to your story sorry needless

needless interruption terrible the only time I've been to Montreal is for this trip and then I just flew in to Montreal and then drove to Ottawa. Hi, guys, it's that time where I break into the episode, make a needless interruption to bother everybody to tell you about the guests, because that's what I do, guys. We're here for the guests. If they can't promote their stuff, then why are they going to come in?

Just to talk about travel? I mean, maybe, but really, they also want to promote their stuff. And Ian is a high-level New York City, which means the highest level in the world, comedian. His website, Ianfinance.com. We can fade all those dates. Check about on Instagram. I-An-An-E-N-M-L-S-E-M-A-L-L.

6-9, 6-9 because he likes to suck off dudes from above and below. He does a reverse 6-9, where he does it, asshole. He just puts his dick on the back of this dude's head. Strong dudes, they hold him up. Strong, strong dudes, they hold him up, and he licks the dude's ass. It's disgusting. His podcast, B&E with Jordan Jensen and his new show with YMH called Ian Doe, a show where he finds local tradesmen in the cities he's touring and learns how to do their jobs.

Ian Finance is a great guy. I met him a long, long time ago. back when we had our first discussion back when the stand was in between clubs and we were doing shows at rockwood music hall by the way rockwood music call was forced to serve harvey winstein and all the waitresses there said hey we're not comfortable was when he was out i don't know if he's out or in now and they go we're not comfortable with that and they go his money's green just like anybody else and a couple waitresses quit and one of them got a job at the stand they're like man i know i don't want to say his money's not green like everybody else his money's not green like everybody it's stained with red

or he wiped up somebody's fucking butt blood. The interest is going to be. You can find him but punchup live, punchup. Live.combe dot live slash Ian Finance. Baltimore, Maryland, the end of February. Then in March, we got Nashville, Tennessee, Huntsville, Alabama, Rochester, Minnesota, Madison, Wisconsin, Fargo, North Dakota, Kansas City, Missouri,

Manchester, Connecticut, Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, Albany, Syracuse, Greenville, South Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Richmond, Virginia, Richmond, Virginia, Saratoga Springs, Philadelphia, PA is hometown, and Miami, Florida, Cusimal, Mexico for the Burt Chrysius 2026, fully loaded gay crews. You can subscribe wherever you're watching or listening, please do, and leave a comment. Smash the like button, they say. And help support the show, you guys. get out there and really support the show. It's not a lot.

Buy a T-shirt if you want. That's financial. That'll help keep me in fucking ridiculous places like this. Anyone who got a T-shirt, this background is sponsored by you. And in the outro, too. Ooh, I see a fucking hammock. Let's do it in a hammock. I'm Ari Shafier.

Also subscribe to the YouTube account at U.B. Trippin'Pod and the Instagram account at UB. Trippin Pod run by two of the highest-level lesbians in the fucking world. You should see their fucking Lesbo game. They're not just eating box. They're fucking slurping it, dude. Slurping it. It's disgust, Ian.

As a man who is bisexual, but really just fucking gay, it's disgust him. Guys, I've taken too long. I say we get back to the episode. Buy a t-shirt, subscribe. Wherever you're watching or listening, don't forget to check out my special. On YouTube right now called Jew. No.

Look about the episode. What was this trip? Tell me about it. This was a guy's trip, 2006, like December 30th, 29th to January 1st. And this is before you suck dicks regularly through holes and walls? I never did it regularly. It was more like treat yourself, pal. You know, it was more of a more of a mooch-boosh every once in a while instead of a full-on entree, you know.

And I don't know if you heard, but I don't suck dick through holes. Holden walls no more. You only been around in a while. I just do that. I don't suck dicks through holes no more, all right? What if you had a real thing with glory holes, but there wasn't run around? Like, can you just pull through the hole in your underwear then? It's like next best thing.

I bring my own Gloria whole underwear. Who were the guys? Why did you decide to go to Montreal? What was it about? Friends from high school. Okay. We all decided to go on a trip. We would go like, we would all do like trips yearly to either.

somebody's town that they were living in or some of these guys would go like way to europe or Brazil or whatever and then i i don't know why we decided on montreal but um it was i i don't even know if if it was 2006 and i was born in 84 how old would that make me 84 22 23 because i'm december 31st 1984 so it was my 22nd birthday into 20th oh it was December 21 knew that was going to 22 what the hell was that shroom fest thing from 2012 masks um yeah so i was like 23 22 23 24 i forget but it was a peak drinking to where i was starting to become like a huge liability to the people around me how were you a bad drunk what would you do well if you take a look on the screen that's you that's me damn i couldn't tell to be honest that's that's me the problem is

Can I zoom? Yeah. Here's the problem. That's not that you're having fun, that you're double fisting is not even the issue. It's that you're doing it. It's just some lady having a nice time. She's just having a nice time at a bar

and she's got to deal with this piece of shit. My nickname was piggy because I used to put my belly out. I'd slap it and go out to people go, ring, ring, ring, ring, right, right, right. So, yeah, this was like two days before the trip. Okay. And prior, Oh, this before. Okay.

So we all decided, I don't know what made us decide Montreal. I guess that was kind of equidistant for all of us where we were living at the time. I was living in New York. A handful of my friends are living in Boston. And we would go home to Delaware for like Christmas vacation. So then we were like, all right, let's go to Montreal. So we loaded up a van. And the night we drove, me and my one buddy were like, look, like this rock.

is going to suck. Let's just get blackout drunk and we'll pass out and by the time we wake up we'll be in Montreal. I don't hate the reasoning. It's pretty good. Wait, but you weren't driving?

No. Okay, great. Then I don't hate the reasoning. I wasn't driving. This picture was them trying to get me into the car. Yeah. Trying to get you into the car.

You're trying to get me into the car. You're already a problem. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, come on, Ian. I took ears outside from the bar and they were trying to get me into the car. And this is actually a picture of me earlier in the night. This is me at the beginning of the night.

That looks like you. Just had, good old fun time guy. Yeah. Same night. Same night. To go to Montreal. So apparently, I didn't know this because I was blackout, but we left Wilmington at like 1 a.m.

And at maybe 2.30, I realized I didn't have my past. in a blackout and they had to drive all the way back to my mom's house for me to get my passport. I think we were like on the road for like an hour and a half. You're a problem. Huge problem. Huge. My name name was a liability.

I was a complete liability, unable to function, getting in fights, like ruining everyone's time. I have a picture actually of me. Oh, whoops. I think there was a shot of my cock there. Let me see it. Let me see it. We won't show it. There was...

Let me see a cock. There's a picture I think of me. I just got done pissing on my friend. Oh. Oh, yeah. See how everyone was just drinking one shot? I have one shot, two shots. Two shots, two beers.

Yeah, yeah. Wow. So it was just off to the races. You knew the guy from Twilight? Who? Let's go back to that one. That? Yeah, isn't that to the right?

Writer. Him? Yeah, he's named from Twilight. He's in the were-off. My buddy Joey. What's that guy's name for Twilight? And he was in Mickey 17. Patrick?

Wait, Robert Pattinson? Robert Pattinson. You think that's Robert Pattinson? My boner does. Oh, that's hilarious. I can't wait to tell him. Can't set it for coffee or truly. I have a picture somewhere.

I just got done pissing on my friend. Oh, yeah, this. I took a picture of us in the elevator in the mirror on the elevator and in this picture my cock is out and I'm taking a piss and I pissed all over this guy's feet and he

really roughed me up but yeah complete liability could not like I would just everyone would stop and I would just drink and drink and drink and then I'd be the first one drinking when we woke up and then me me and this guy here Joe we were

like the two terrible twins. We went to this mountain called Montreblanc. I've been there. Yeah. It's great. They do larpin outside at the bottom. We,

I mean, this whole trip I was in and out of a blackout. And I just remember we went to Montreblanc, and he found weed somehow, and we made our way to the top of the mountain, and he just gave me a handful of like weed in a hand with no bag or anything. It was like, here, I found this. And we're like, all right.

And so for like a year, I was finding nuggets of wheat in my jacket pocket because we were just taking nugs of wheat in our hand and just putting them into this little like one hit we had and ripping it. That's so funny. That's so it's a wrong way to do it. Oh, everything was the wrong way. Everything was the wrong way. It was, I never did anything like the right way. The normal way was never a possibility when I was drinking. So who went up?

Who was it? Uh, me and, uh, man, how many was it? It was our friend Josh, Steve, Steve, Steve, where are you going? Is this part of the show? Yeah, part of the show where I just talk. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening.

I'm right here. Ian, I'm right here, buddy. I'm right here. I'm with you. I'm with you. It was. It was. It was.

I'm right here. One movie. I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm with you. What happened to your arm? What? Did you get tested?

I got the bug. Yeah. Nice. I've been evading the bug for a very long time. Wait, what movie is that? I'm right here. I'm right here, buddy. What movie?

I'm with you. I don't know. It's got the guy from Swingers. Vince Vaughn? Uh-huh. Wedding Crashers? Not wedding crashes at all. Not winning crashes at all.

Swingers. Nope. He's in, reminds you of weed. He's in a foreign country. He's got Anheish or whatever name is that had to go fucking burn alive. Is that the one who burned alive? Yeah. Okay.

Remember she dated Ellen to get ahead in the business and then dropped right before she knew Ellen was going to be outed. And then Ellen burned her to death on purpose to ruin. She was really good in the other country with not Leaves Schreiber, but someone that reminds me somehow slightly of Leaveshreiber. And they got caught with weed, but swingers had already made his way back home. and so then they go the burned alive lady goes hey you got to go back there because my brother's on death row

bro I have no fucking idea what movie this is this is crazy two buddies and then one of them chucked a fucking bike the guy came back to collect his bike and they found fucking pounds a week it was so cheap there and they go well that Vince Vaughn was one of the two guys and they go

you got to go back there and speak for him and it's a comedy no oh he's getting so he's getting hung spoiler and he goes I'm with you, buddy. He's in the prison. I'm with you. I'm right here.

I'm right here, buddy. You're not alone. You're not alone. Oh, that sounds so brutal. It was a good scene. What movie? Now I have to know. What?

Drew. God damn it. Hold on. Vince Vaughn movie. Prison. Foreign. Let's see. Let's see.

No, no. Return to Paradise. Oh. That's it. He's getting killed right there in that picture. Oh. Oh, and that's Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin, who reminds me of?

Leve Schreiber. You kind of look like Leif Schreiber with that facial hair. Dude, we were on a, we were on it. Let's get back to Montreal. But we were on a Halloween bar crawl, me and Sal, we got, and DeStefano, we got 25 people that get the same Batman outfit, and we went to, and we tried to get in the Hollywood parade. We got in there. Leif Schreiber was randomly walking by, and we were like, oh, let leave in, too, with this kid.

he was like, thank you. Why wouldn't they let you in the Hollywood parade? Do you have to sign like a waiver? Like, why wouldn't they just let you join? You know, dignitaries and such. I'm just looking at all this stuff. Yes. Why do you have Fidelberg's name on your wall?

It's my bits for my last special. You have a bit about Fidelberg? I do. Really? I know my closing bit after him. It's about a dead Holocaust inmate. I named after Fidelberg because I asked his phone once. So I was like to make it up for him, I named a bit after him.

Yoney Fidelberg, most annoying guy in the Holocaust. He's my closer. I was like, buddy, I'll make it up to you, Fidelberg. When he left the room, I took his phone and I just fucking asked it. And he was like, I'm getting a new phone. That's disgusting. And I was like, no, wash it. And he's out $1,800.

And he wouldn't take money. So I named a bit after him. I made Fidelberg do poppers with me at the Pride parade a couple years ago. What? Yeah. Barstow always has me on their pride parade float. Fair. Because I'm like one of the only kind of gay people, Barstall knows.

We'll talk to it. Besides me, Joey, and Pat. Yeah. Actually, I don't know if on the reason, but they, the first year they had a truck, the second year they had an actual float. And the year after that, they did not have a float. And there was a little bit of an issue. They had me get on the microphone.

And they were like, and you're funny, say, get the cry route up. And I was like, all right, who here believes love is love? We're going down Fifth Avenue, everyone's cheering. Who thinks love is love? And everyone's like, whew. I'm like, who here is gay? What a pandera.

And they're like, yeah. And I go, who here thinks Fauci is a liar? And everyone was like, what? And they had one of the ad execs on the float. And he ran and, like, grab the mic and was like, get out of here. Stop. Don't silence my queer voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoopsie. That's so funny. I'm just an odd guy doing odd jobs. I'll race ya. I'm Ian Fidance. Hey, how are you? And each week, I'm in different towns across the country doing stand-up comedy and to keep me from rotting in my bed

or putting a gun to my head. I get you to teach me how to do your job. Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com slash Ian Fidance Comedy every other Tuesday produced by YMH. I gotta rip a fart too, bro. Let it lose. Toot, Toot!

I'll see you out there. How long you've been working here? The Burke Kreischer-Dillens by Freewaters. Wherever you go, you're going to be reminded of Bird. There are my gloves. Come on, heat. Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm.

Tap the banner to order your groceries online at voila.ca. Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices. online as in store. Many promotions are available both in store and online, though some may vary. Let's get back to Montreal. Sorry, I'm a terrible host, by the. No, this is great. I don't

know how much legs Montreal has. It does. So you went there to booze with your buddies. Went there to booze with my bros. Which is a great time. Yes. Which is one great reason to It's funny where you're like, let's go to another place. We'll just drink a bunch. And you're like, can't we do that here? It's better another place. Well, that was

like the argument of our, so like my two best friends, I'm still closer today. And I still talk to these guys. We don't ever like see each other. But they were like, why do you have to go somewhere else to get fucked up? Why can't you stay in Delaware and we'll all have a party? We'll all hang out because me and my best friend else and we always spent my birthday together like every year, every year, every year.

And then this was the first year I wasn't. Hey, see if you can get the rights to that? My aim is true. See how much the rights are to that song if we can use it here. And we got like an argument because I had to like just go somewhere. else to drink. And this is around the time when like everything I did was based on like drinking. So it was like, well, I'm going to go here to drink and it'll be more fun. You know what I mean? And we we went. I forget like honestly like looking at the pictures helps because so much of it is like

hazy. But we all got in this kid's van and we just drove up to Montreal. A child's van. We all got a child. They were trying to abduct, but it's a kid's van. Yeah. And, uh, we all got a child. They were trying to abduct, but it's a kids man. Yeah. And we got up to Montreal. We stayed at a hostel. No, really? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Have you stayed in hostels before? Mm-hmm. It's gnarly. You seem like a hostel guy. I love him. You seem like a choose hostel over hotel guy. Oh, sometimes.

Yeah. Not for one night, but... Right. Yeah. You meet so many more interesting people. Yeah. Yeah. And you save scratch, for sure.

For some reason, dude, is... Did you find this? Nobody was like hot until recently. I don't know what it is, but everybody is so hot now. And back like, even in like college, like after college for years and years,

everyone I was meeting was just like pretty frumpy, pretty fine. And now everywhere you go, every single person is hot. It's very strange. I know what it is. What? Instagram.

You think? At any moment, women who are the ones more interested in being hot. or might be on record or something. They might run in some of the supermarket and be like, oh, let's take a picture. They're like, whoa, I'm not ready for this. Dude, I don't know.

For so long, I feel like everybody was just weird looking and like okay with it. And now- Remember Janine Garofalo was the hottest actress in America? Dude. She's still hold together. But it was a different vibe that we were going for as Americans. If she was like, the line. Yeah, that was like,

By the way, Ginogarofalo, 75 years later, has dropped half a point. Dude, she's great. It's crazy. I watch her still. She's so great. I sat next to her on a flight, and we had so much fun, like, talking shit on the stewardess, like, going by and everything. It was really, really fun. But, yeah, I feel like everybody was so fucking hot.

And looking back at this trip, everybody is, like, gross and weird looking. And now you go everywhere and every. I honestly think it's something in the food that's like making people develop and like look better. I don't know what it is. Could be. So where'd you go? What'd you do when you got there? Stay to the hostel.

Went to a hostel. I was coming out of a blackout when we got there. I wish I knew Ian drinking. Dude, it was a fucking nightmare. It was, it was very bad. You know how some people quit and it's like, ah? And some people were like, yeah, finally. Yeah.

You were the latter? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. This was the last time. Even the people that were that like finally, there's still a moment in the night. We're like, can't you just be this guy for the whole night? Well, there was this was like a watershed moment because this was the last hurrah of like, let's give it one more shot to be around you when you're drunk. And I ruined it.

And then after this, it was very much like, dude, we like literally not answering phone calls, having to figure out where people were and show up. And then like here on the other side of the door, fuck, you found out. All right. No. What's up? And yeah, yeah, like problem, problem. No one wanted me around. I was just bad fucking news.

I was either fighting or stealing or like blacking out and waking up somewhere. The end of this trip, I went home with some woman that barely spoke English. She was like in her 50s. And I lied to her and told her I was an investment banker in America and that I had two homes. She believed me, brought me to her place. in a part of Montreal where I had no clue where I was. We get to her place. She takes her clothes off.

We get in bed and she starts taking out pictures that she has on her, like, dresser and everything of her family and starts telling me that they're dead and that she's like a widow. And I just remember being like, oh, let's just go to sleep. Like I was like,

there's no him going to have sex with this, like crying French woman. And then I woke up, knew no English, had to get back to the hostel. the only street I knew was St. Laurent Street because that's where all the strip clubs were. So I was just going up to people knocking on their doors going English, English,

St. Laurent Street, cab, cab, St. Laurent Street, English. And then finally, somehow I found my way back to St. Laurent Street, ran to the hostel. The car's packed. Everybody's waiting. And they're like, where the fuck were you? And I was like, I don't know, man. And then we get in the car and just like drove home. I snuck booze into the car.

It was a fucking mess. And the, yeah, I met the woman at like a McDonald's. Oh, my God. Yeah. By the way, that's what separates you or me. What? I would have. Oh, no, no.

I'm going to say, even in my like debauchrous time period, I still was like, oh, this isn't a good idea. You know what I mean? Like, I could not have sex with this woman that was sobbing about her, like, dead husband and child in her in her French house. It was just like, it's okay, let's just go to sleep. Like, I couldn't push through. It was terrible. I mean, she got naked to tell you about it, too. I think I have a picture of her, too.

When a chick takes you over and just gets naked, you're like, sweet, why are we playing this game? That's so much better because I'm still not sure. You're making me sure. Yeah, that's like a sign. But then when they take a picture of their family with them into bed and starts pointing and crying and telling you what's going on, I can sleep good at night knowing that I wasn't like let's talk about it later yeah you know i was like okay hold on i gotta go cry once and

then i was like oh okay really and then like and then like she'd be like are you just not gonna try anymore i'm like okay and then you try for a while that she'd cry about some like dead dead person in her life and you're like oh and she goes why aren't you trying you're like come on man i got a handy in the end is not all we oh this is her that's the oh we can't show her that's that is funny she's pretty though let me see her i can see her she's not bad for a widower so you just went back to her place with you that's her house back up back up i took a picture of her house i went home with this 45 year back up 45 year old woman let me see zoom in zoom in zoom in what what does happen oh that's her i think she was

like writing her number down or something she's like i'm gonna fuck and then i'm gonna fuck this this is her house i took a picture of her house because i was like no one's got an ad for a for a for a For a candidate, Patel? Kalash Patel, yeah. That's her god. He co-hosts Flagrant too. And then... And then I took a picture of a street sign somehow.

I don't know what I was thinking. And then this is everyone... Is this film? Mad at me? Are these film days? Oh, yeah, this is all of us. Afterwards. But you're all wet to drink.

Yeah, but I... You're an issue, though. I kind of... Wait, let me see... Go back out. Let me see the check. Let me see the check. back up no no no no yeah keep going keep going keep going keep going three more two more one

her who's she some random girl damn nice titties though i know right but see look gross gross you're right see gross the pale rider weird gross oh yeah it looks like that looks like my type go back go back go back to that's my type bro oh in high school and college that's my type good enough won't hold together you look bombed i am you are black out black out i mean look at this face that is that is blackout trying to figure it out fresh and bar mitzvah we witnessed some guy yeah there was some fight or something at this bar this guy brought in his own whiskey and the guy the bartender was like get out of here and the guy took the whiskey and sprayed it on the guy and then threw the bottle at them.

And the police came, and I'll never forget, the guy that threw the whiskey gave my buddy like a cigarette. And so my friend told the cops, he's like, no, the bartender did it. This guy's a good guy. I saw it all. Like totally, like, dogged out the innocent guy because the guy that threw the whiskey gave a cigarettes. It was like, it was a good guy.

I got you back. Oh, that's the best. So while I'm in there finessing this 45-year-old widow, my buddy's outside giving a witness impact statement to the police. Like, this guy's innocent, the bartender's the problem. It was just fucking debauchery. When we got to St. Laurent, when we got to Mont Tremblaunt that night, nobody decided who was going to be the designated driver.

Yeah. So we all decided to sleep in the car and then wake up and whoever felt the most sober would drive us back. And there was one. point where we thought like we're probably going to die so me and my buddy got blackout because we were like look if we die at least we won't be awake for it so we just got blackout drunk in the back of the van and our other buddy held onto the wheel while our one friend controlled the pedals and then somehow we got back to the hostel that's crazy yeah yeah you were driving around

they're drunk. Hey, can you, when he's doing his story about that, can you add in a French, uh, siren, French,

French, French, they're like, I'd even take that seriously. Yeah, it's crazy that we didn't get busted for drunk driving or, I mean,

they want everyone there boozing, I guess. That's one of the things is go over the border, right? Does that more Winnipeg? That's, I don't think, I think Montreal wants,

like your money. They don't care what you do with it. This is Montrein-Bla. Yeah. It is pretty. It's beautiful. especially in the winter Oh and at one point

My like I couldn't get I couldn't get You went in the winter? No Really? This is we went like December 28th to January 1st You did New Year's there

Yeah What did you do for New Year's? Went to some fucking bar ate putteen And I used to do this thing where What? Go ahead. We got to talk about putteen

Well I read What was that Jim Morrison book uh writers on the on the no not jump in the fire writers on the warm it's a it's a it's a what's the word for after sequel to dune writers in the worm no what what writers no it was uh it was uh it was light my fire i think anyway i read this this book about jim morrison and he used to take his cock out at the bar and just piss at the bar and i was like oh man why I can't be like a singer, but I can with my cock out and piss at the bar.

So that used to be my mood. I can do halfway. So I used to like get dragged out of bars with my pants and my ankles being like, it wasn't me. It wasn't me. Like my thing was I would try to piss and get away with it. And I just remember at the place. You're a fucking animal.

I remember eating putteen and just pissing underneath the table. I'm eating putteen on New Year's Eve. And then I went home with that woman. I was, it was, look, I was a different. They're on New Year's Eve? Yeah. So you rang in the new year. With a crying widow on New Year's Eve, January 1st, 2007, New Year, I'm banging on

people's doors trying to find a way back to St. Laurent Street by just going English, English, English, please. The way it's so funny is they all understand English. They might not speak it. No, no. Oh, right. And you're in your head as a 21-year-old fucking loser asshole going, I guess they don't speak English.

You're like, no, you look like a. lunatic. Yeah, yeah. No, no one wants to deal with me. Yeah. And at one point I called my mom, like, because I was like, what the fuck's wrong with you? You don't call your mom. Well, no, because I was at a strip club and I think I like took too much out of my card or something. And I don't know what happened, but I was asking her to like front me money because there was a stripper that kept to ask for more money. And I was like, I swear to God, she likes me. Like, it was every single person in my orbit, I would take down with me. It was bad. You need a little. You need to be. You need a Did you go program or just regular?

Rehab program, hospital, rehab, program, jail, rehab. But like chips and everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I've tenure sober now, so things are a lot better. I'm tenure drunk. Yeah? Tenure. Tenured.

Yeah. The PhD. I just hung out with Norman yesterday. I'm in full Norman mode now. Did you get in out of it? Did you go to the strip clubs there? Yeah. Yeah, I fell in love with some stripper named Michaela with, like, huge face.

tits and I was like I swear she likes me like I was begging my friends to give me more money I was like she just said if I give her money that that she'll come home with me later like it was pathetic I was like the most pathetic drunk ever Jesus Christ yeah yeah what a fun time though it sounds like it really was great describe putteen for people who don't know because I don't think anyone routine is soggy fries and gravy with chunks of cheese oh you're doing a disservice that's all it is soggy the gravy makes a fries soggy That's like saying spaghetti is soggy. No.

It's not similar. It's wet. Okay. I see what you're saying. These are like wet fries. Yeah. Wet spaghetti doesn't make, right. It's not soggy.

It's just wet. Yeah. You can have a wet arm. It's not a soggy arm. Soggy shirt. The gravy makes a fries soggy. It's good. In a great way.

Maybe I've just had been like it. Poutine. Maybe I've just had Poutine while I'm taking a piss under a table. But to me, Poutine's nothing. So, this is shit Poutine. Really? It's like one clump.

See, I like that better than the little clumps all throughout. Let me tell you what Putin should be. From my memory and I will be corrected, please correct me on this one. Fries. Yes. So obviously anything is going to start with good fries. That's the base. You know, any sort of like the pastas, like you want good, you know, noodle.

Gravy, there's two ties. Pepper corn or the other one. I don't know. Don't quiz me. Cheese curds. Yes. Cheese curds are ill. illegal in the United States except for Wisconsin because they're unpasteurized when they're natural.

When they're real, they're unpasteurized, which is illegal in the United States. The FDA will take hand over a fist under the table to poison us at any point except when it comes to pasteur. Is that why raw milk is illegal? Yep. Wow. They had a Portlandia on raw milk and they had to do it in the black market to get raw milk. Yeah. Because Marie Curie or whoever, Louis Pasteur.

Louis-Cats. Related for sure. Anyway, and you pour the gravy over the cheese curds. I got to take a piss. Yeah, go for it. Real quick? Yeah. What's your special called?

What's your special? What's your special? You guys, right now you can look at Ian Fadance's special wild, happy, and free. It's on YouTube right now. Let's leave a comment and see if you can find it. Here we go. Let's go. find this one

Ian is a fake gay he turned down Pete Buddha I don't know I have to spell this guy's name

then Pete Buttich Buttich Buttich had to jerk off Joe Biden to get to get around

Boom. I respond to that. It's a very funny comic and now we pause. Well, guys, he's coming back soon. Long bathroom break. We actually cut some out. Long piss. The fucking wall is going strong.

At this point, I am out of this. I'm not here. You can't send me anything anymore. So stop sending anything. I got to get a new PO box, maybe in Austin for postcards and money. Or maybe in another country. But right now we're going to put a pause.

on sending me anything, but I just got some Cayman Island money from Saratolamash. That episode already came out. Peruvian from a fan. Yeah, all sorts. I did, for me and my handyman came in. He's from Guatemala, and he goes, where's the Ketsal? I'm like, I don't know. Mexico.

And I've been to Guatemala, and I know I had some Ketzo. And I don't know what I did with it. Hmm. Um, what? Ian, you're late. Are you shitting?

Were you shitting in there? Oh, you can't do that when you're late. You got a shit later. Got a big, important celebrity. Did you shit? How long was the piss?

Well, the piss was like 20 seconds and the shit was about a minute. Did you shit? I had to do. You're allowed to shit. I didn't think it was going to happen. And then it just happened. It does sneak up on you sometimes.

Snuck up. Is that my lighter? Looks like my lighter. Looks like my lighter. I remember having it one. I don't think so. Okay, where were we? What shit did you just talk on me while I was going?

Oh, I promoted the special. Well, that's nice. Thank you. I left a comment. Appreciate it. Where was this shot? The cutting room. I almost shot the new unrelated to this not happening, completely unrelated to this not

happening. I have a new storytelling show coming out. Completely unrelated to this not happening. It's a storytelling show. Where's it coming out on? visual audio visual yeah paper view yeah

for real though paper view but we scouted this place did I tell you my story about this place did I tell you my story about this place no you tell me your story first you have two stories now about it and I have one so do you want to go you go and then I go and you go both

I only have really one story you have another one you're promoting this you're promoting this to a popular black comedian recently was I yeah at the cellar It was so funny. Wait, what? What happened? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

That's so funny. It was so funny. It was making me laugh so hard. Oh, yeah. That was great. Yeah, Dave Chappelle was like so drunk, like grabbing onto Ari being like, you're special Jew, man. It's amazing.

I haven't seen it. Right, go ahead. He's like, I haven't seen it, but everybody who's everybody says it's amazing. I don't know how to, I can't be like, thank you, because you didn't see it. So I'm like, well, that's cool that people are talking about it. I can't say thank you.

You're telling me you haven't seen it. So it's like, this is cool that you're talking to me. You're too drunk to actually talk to, which is fine to be drunk. And you haven't seen it. And so I'm like, that's very cool. People who hate you saying it's good. People love.

it and I know a lot of people that hate Jews and they love it. Kanye's a fan man. And then he's like, good to see you, good to see. It shakes my head as he's all going. I go, I have a special two, Dave. It's on YouTube. Happy and free. Wild happy and free.

Who's at the cutting room, Dave? Dave, leave a comment. Yeah, that was great. Everybody check this out. for sure you're a hilarious comic but thank okay so that was one now I'll go yes yes I went I can see it here I went to scout it for my storytelling show called the end which has nothing to do with another storytelling show I once host a call this not happening yes so they asked me you to see on the right they were like so

people put a curtain here yeah and they go why would they put a curtain there and they go why sometimes when they shoot here and they go why would they put cafe seating I don't know what kind of seating you had I we took all right we took all all the cafe seating out and did actual crowd seating. So the guy asked me, he goes, I don't know why these people come here and put actual seating in here instead of cafe seating and put a wall here.

And I go, and I'm looking around, like looking how it would look from on stage as I'm scouting it. And I go, do you want the actual answer? And the guy's like, what? I mean, I can tell you the actual answer. Yeah. I don't know these comics who have done that,

but I know the answer. And he goes, what is the answer? I'm like, okay, so we feed off energy and the more people you get, the more hype for it is. So cafe seating is four people when you could probably get like eight in that same area because there's no tables.

So then it's just like bigger laughs. And then we put that wall in our curtain to wall off this like blank space. Yeah. And he goes, well, like no, that's the actual answer. And he goes, well, that makes sense actually. Was it Steve? Maybe.

Gray hair Steve? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Love Steve. Yeah. Steve is great. Dude, well, I'll tell you, God bless the cutting room, but boy, oh boy,

we had two shows sold out Sunday night It's a good job writing this up here The bar, the proscenium Oh yeah Put chairs there I like the look of it Dude the entire stage design Is everything that was at the cutting room John Nunn helped me with that

Long time best friend He worked on tires Shout out Johnny Nunn Yeah he helped me stage design this Everything there was from the cutting room The cutting room itself is like such a cool room It's an old New York You gotta cut off the thing

The problem is the fake entrance too. So you got to either open those doors and then have it wide open or close those doors. What did you do? Well, we closed it. So they didn't know. We did a live podcast here and they had the cafe seating and everything, right? We came an hour ahead of time, set the cameras up, blah, blah, blah. So when I came to them and said, hey, I want to film my special here.

They were like, great. You know, you've worked with this before. Here's the deal. you know, you'll get this cut of the door, blah, blah, blah. What's that? I'm not in the credits. Do the podcast and I'll add you in. And, uh, what are you giggling?

You'll add me in. It's so funny. We're re-releasing it on 800-pound gorilla. I will edit you into a credit. You put Steve Fabricant in? Yeah. Steve's a buddy. Fair.

Steve would come to Brooklyn. I will not. Dude, I live in New York. You know what I'm starting to break down now? You live two blocks from the L train. You are a 16-minute walk-and-subway ride combined from your door to my door, and you act like you got to go to Beirut. I guarantee you it's under 22 minutes subway ride.

Well, you just changed a lot. How? You went from 16 to under 22. What is it? 19. Under sub-20-minute walk. Dude, I'm not leaving Manhattan. I'm a Manhattan night.

You are in a- You live in filth. You know who's coming after this? Who? Popular Manhattanite. Who? Jerry Seinfeld. Dude, I rep Manhattan, bro.

And I don't want to go to those fucking boroughs. 19 minutes from your doorstep to my doorstep. I just really don't want to spend the time going to Brooklyn and it's too much of a track. And I need to get my passport stamped. Yeah. I had to. This would be out of reason. I had to fake a fucking, uh, uh, what's it called?

A letter to the, I had it buy a flight. print out the flight, then cancel the flight, so I can go and say I need an emergency passport. I'm leaving on this flight this day. Really? Yeah, I've got to get shit done, buddy. Do you have... I'm gone.

When this comes out, I'm gone. Do you have real ID? Or do you just use your password? I did get a real ID. Really? I didn't do that. Because I got a new license. Oh, you can use a passport, too.

When are you leaving? I'm already gone. Oh, when did you leave? Well, this... I don't know how to do that. I'm gone, bro. Dude, when this comes out... So do you have any new specials coming out or anything?

Yeah, YouTube.com slash Ian Finance Comedy. I have a special coming out on there. That just came out when? Yes. That just came out in... We'll see. Do you not know the date yet? August.

We'll see. You should be. And check out my travel show. Ian do. An odd guy doing odd jobs. You have a travel show? You have a travel show? So every town I go to, I do different jobs.

Bro, let me ask you a question. What? It's like dirty jobs. Dirty Jobs meets the simple life. You're Jewish. Yes. Just found out. Which implies intelligent.

Yes. You're on a travel podcast. Why would you not up top promote the travel show? You're talking to a listener base of people who want to go places. You know, if I'm on hot ones, actually refused to have me on, even in season two before they were popular. Really? They said, no, we don't want that guy. You were too old?

And Bert was like, he should have my friend already. We don't want him. Why? Afraid of. Dude, could be many reasons. Yeah. I'm hateable. Let's get back to this trip.

Ian do. An odd guy doing odd jobs. We got 12 minutes, bro. Let's get back to Montreal. We can cut it into the beginning. Let's get back to this. All right. So I'm in Montreal and I'm doing jobs in different towns.

It's not out yet. Oh. Yeah. I have to get my subscribers up on the YouTube channel. That's going to be my big plug. No, but come on. Well, that's cool. So Montreal.

Poutine, we talked about. That's where we left. Yes. You don't like it. It's fine. It's fine. It's not something I'm like, you have to try the Poutine. Every country's got their disco fries for Canada,

chili cheese fries for Midwest. I'm not a fan of chili cheese fries. I'm not a fan of, Poutine. I'm not a fan of cheese curds. Everybody goes off on cheese curds. I'm not that big of a fan. I'll tell you a Poutine story. Actually, remind me, I'll do it at the end.

Oh, yeah, wait. You. We have to have no time. Oh, I got to go, I got to finish my cutting room story. Real quick. That's right. Two sold out shows, Sunday, December 3rd, right? On, on Thanksgiving.

Yeah. My manager looks up the schedule and they have daddy. the cool band scheduled to play at 4 p.m. Daddy the cool band? At my show, or no, at 6 p.m. And my shows are at 7 and 9.30. Daddy the cool band is an all, sorry, go ahead.

Is an all Korean cover band of dads that just, that only started learning how to play music in the past 10 years. And this is when, before you? before my show. It's at 5 o'clock. You're filming a special. You've got to set up. They thought that we were filming another live podcast.

They didn't know that it was like Netflix, HBO level production. They didn't know that we were getting rid of the cafe seating and putting in stadium seating. They didn't know any of that. They just thought it was a one cam shoot. They didn't know. I was using six fucking cams. So, dude, the fucking nightmare that was dealing with this. And Steve goes,

Look, I understand, but Daddy the Cool, they bring in people every year. If you can get them to move, they'll move, but I can't do anything. I had to call this guy. His name was Jerry Lee. He's a dentist. I had to call him and be like, listen, man, artist to artists, like I'm filming my first specials or any way you can move the show or move it early in the day. And he's like, no, I can't do it.

Sorry. He's Korean. Yeah, yeah. So look up Daddy, Daddy the Cool Daddy the Cover Band or Daddy the Cool Cover Band. in all Korean cover band. It was crazy. Finally, we figured it out. We go, look, we'll give you the room for an hour and a half.

You have to be out by six o'clock, right? It was, why do you keep looking up gay sex? Why? Please go to the picture of the two men and a baby. Where is that? Right below. The one guy is like a communist China flag wrapped around him. This is what every comic in Austin is afraid of.

Is this exactly? thing. Yeah. Nice and hips, though. Okay, so, wow, so he wouldn't move. Wouldn't move, wouldn't budge. Dude, we had to get them in and out. They had to be out by 615.

Daddy the band? Yeah. Wow. You got them all out. Dude, got them all out. People, no, this isn't it. It's Daddy the cool cover band. Daddy cool?

Daddy cool band. Cool. The Cool Daddy Band. Anyway. They're like, they're an all Korean cover band. Anyway, it was a fucking nightmare.

Everybody that was waiting to get into the gig, went to the lobby and they're like, wow, we didn't know Ian and so many Chinese fans. It was fucking nuts, dude. It was so, it was almost like a blessing because I didn't have time to like worry about

anything but that, you know? Oh, they're playing the coming room. Yeah, there it is. That's it. Yeah. Okay, they're playing the country room.

Wow. Dude, by, on Thanksgiving, when we found this out, they had three tickets sold. A week out, they had six tickets sold. And the guy, Steve, is like, trust me, they have a fan base. I talked to the guy, he goes, everybody's flying in from Korea to see Daddy Cool the band.

Dude, I'm saying, 430, it was packed wall to wall with Koreans, screaming, die hard fans of Daddy Cool the band. And then they got out. We push a show back a half hour and everything was fucking fine. It was crazy. Every special and shoot, you got to roll with stuff. Let's get back to Montreal. Yes. What else do you get into?

Strippers. Strippers. How are the strippers? Fake boobs. Expensive? Act like they liked me. They have loonies and tunis that you'd give them, you know. You know that, right?

Yeah, but I won't, you don't give them. Yeah. And you know what they do? You can't do one. You know what they do? They come up and they take a little poster funnel and then you throw it. And when it gets in, you win a little prize. It gets into their vaginas?

It hits it. It doesn't go inside. But you win a prize. Because they don't commit. I have a stick. I have a, I still have, I should have brought it. I still have a magnet with a stripper named Delilah that I won from throwing a loony inner thing. And it.

I mean, just, why does she run in all the time? I get walking up there. Are you living underneath an elephant? You know my old tenant was way better? You know my old tenant? He died. Who? My old tenant.

He just died. Yeah. Up there. He drowned and died. And he was floating because she fought with him downstairs. And did water come through? Oh, yeah. Mold everywhere.

That was out of here. I just finished building this and then you're out for three months. Dead guy water. Dealing through. Yeah. Coming through that thing just pouring down. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And then it was like, I was like, hey, you got to go up there. Everyone else's doors open. We got to air this out. She's because I don't know. We fight if I open it without permission. Dead. Floating in like this much water. No.

But you could smell the mold. Oh. How'd you leave Montreal? How'd I leave? Yeah, like, with everyone being mad at me because I showed up late because I was coming back

from a widow's house and a part of town. So you left on the first? You were driving back on the first. Yeah. And my mom, like, my mom side adventures. Was going to have like a big surprise party for me.

Like, going to the house and have like balloons and cake because there was my birthday, December 31st. And she was so pissed at me because I kept calling and asking her to give me money to give to like a stripper.

that I showed up I walk inside my mom goes I had a party but it's canceled Happy fucking birthday And then I had to go stay to friends house Because she kicked me out for the night And that was like my 23rd birthday It was a good precursor to

Ending up in rehab a year later Wow Yeah But I mean dude it was it was like As far as guy trip goes It was super fun Just getting in a van With your boys your bros

Your dogs Getting into some trouble Drinking on the way sleeping on the way yeah finding finding weed and just shoving it into your pockets getting strange french people to give you coke on new year's eve it is something to be trying to doing like that where you're like i can't do that anymore like i'm gonna go off my own and i'll catch up to you guys like whoa where you're going i don't know figure it out and even now with like uber and stuff like that you're like oh no don't do that dude but back then it was like yeah we'll just figure it out figure it out and we didn't have service

so none of us were using cell phones that's right so everything that's That was the thing. That was the days of if you go to, if you have your iPhone, you go to Canada, it's like, well, $700 for the week. Well, dude,

that's a thing. I spent all this money calling my fucking mom being like, I need money for this girl. And my mom hanging up on me over and over. I ran out of my minutes. My phone did.

Why? Yes, I was fucking blackout drunk. I tried to reason with her. I was like, don't you want me to find love? And so that's why on January 1st, I couldn't call anyone because I was out of all my minutes.

So that's why I'm running around going, get me to St. Oron Street, so then that way I could figure out my way back to the hostel, because I had no way of contacting anyone. You know what's called Rue? You know it's called Rue. Skull Rue? It's called Rue. What's Rue?

Street. What is that? The main. Rue. Rue St. Laurent. Rue St. Laurent. Yeah. Oh. Boulevard.

I don't know. I just know that was where all the fucking strip clubs were. There's also like ice cream shops and niceness. I mean, I've been here a ton of times for JFL. Yeah. And I think that's where we did an unrelated show to the end. Yes. Actually, did it have a name back then?

It did not. So, yeah, we're doing a precursor to the end at Cleopatra. On St. Laurent. Tran... Tranny... Tranny sexual... Trani Vestite strip club called Cleopatra. Really?

I gotta get up to Montreal. The best things I ever saw was some of the comics who did the show. Have you ever done it live? Not even live? No, you've done it live. Your storytelling show? Yeah. I did it at the store.

Yeah, yeah, you did it. Yeah, I followed Tim Dillon. It was fun. I didn't get asked to do the taping. No, no. Your name came up. It was shot down pretty fast. You motherfucker.

I loved on the old This Not Happening, which is a different. different show. Yes. People like, hey, they suggested me and they said, you didn't do it.

I'm like, buddy, like Brett Ernst. I'm like, your name never came up. Really? Whatever rep told you that it came up or whatever your contact

was at Comedy Central, that's a lie because I was on every call. Yeah. And trust me, you're my friend and I would have fought for you and I had to pick my fights. Yeah. Your name didn't come up.

Yeah. And he's like, what? I'm like, deal with that. Well, at least my name came up and it was shot down. And it was shot down.

Now, the person that shot it down, Are they in the room with us right now? Is that person was in proximity to me? As someone who's in charge of the show? It came up at a point where we're not looking for anybody this level anymore. This level? Yeah.

What are you talking about? Dude, we had like, we have six arena acts on the show. Oh, and then you were going to... Yeah, we got some mid-level people, but like, the people who have done the show and killed her bunch of times. Well, that's hurtful. Yeah, if we had unlimited time, for sure, you would have been invited. Well, that's nice.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Can we just at least say I'm a little above mid level? I'm mid level. I'm mid level. You're mid level? You're high level?

I'm mid level and your high level. No, no, no. Like you're, I think you're above high level. Above high? Yeah. No. What are the levels? High level, which I guess got to be split up.

That's Shane Nate. Oh, I thought it was arena level, high level, mid level, low level. Well, I don't, then Norman's high level. Okay. Norman's bigger than me. Samaril's bigger than me. Stob is bigger than me. They're not a.

I don't think they're bigger than you. I think you're right up there. Way more tickets. Really? Yeah. I'm, I'm. You sell good. I'm not unhappy, but I'm a mid, I'm a club to occasional theater.

That's mid level. And then low level, well, there's another like open micer. Then like you don't work. And then like low level is like, oh, Sagalow is now mid level. Mid level is pretty wide. Yeah, but mid level sounds so insulting. Yeah. But I'm mid-level.

You're not mid-level. Yeah, we need more categories. Because all you got is mid-level low. Yeah. Mid-high-low. Yeah. Either way you cut it, it's insulting. It's a win to be brought up.

It's a knock to be called mid-level. If, tell you what, though, if, like, when you did the show at this comedy store, if it was like, oh, my God, that was one of the best stories I ever heard, your name would have come up earlier. Ah, so I failed the audition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't an audition. It was just like, it was good. would rather hear that. Yeah, it was good.

Then no, no, sorry, you're too old. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. No, if we ever bring it back, you'll be too old. Oh, fuck.

No, if I had more time to, I would, it's just like, there was, it was just like, yeah, anyway. I wanted to use everybody. Yeah. They just couldn't. That's so hard. Yeah. To be on you for the fucking. And then, you know, the hardest part, I never got to wrap this up, but was, was like, when

you want to wrap this up. has a high level person, a high, like theater to like above theater act and go, I'd like you to do this, but I got to see your story first. And their agent managers like, no fucking way. Make the offer or not. And it's like, I can't make an offer if I don't know what they're going to do. No way. I can't just make an offer.

So then I'm like, was there anyone that you were like, sorry, we can't. It was like so super big. It was just a cold people. I'm like, I don't know how to do this. I'm insulting them. I got to see what you say for you, Jordan. I could be like, I would have to see what you're going to do. And then let me think about it.

And a lot of people would, and I'm like, this isn't really a story. Yeah. Or like, it was fine. It's not there. And I don't have time for you to get it there. Yeah. Soter for the one on this is not happening unrelated to this show. Took a year to work his story.

Really? Yeah. And it was great. And you helped him develop it? No, he did it. Or he did it on the road for like a year. No way. What was his story?

It's about getting robbed. Interesting. Yeah. Getting held up at gunpoint and like kind of kidnapped and whatever. But it was great, but he had to work on the road, make the jokes good. So it's like, you can't be like, you can't be like, you can have. have something good in a month? I don't know.

I have so many stories, but they come out in the moment, like actually finding like a story and like structuring and working on it takes so long. And go, what part of this is important? How do I tell us like a chick where I'm like back up way too far? Do you think you'll on the success of this? Do you think you'll make another one or is this just like a one off? I think it's done.

The whole point of this, who knows what the future hold? The whole point of this was to finish off. Sorry, it's unrelated. It's unrelated. But I had another show that it was stolen for me. I know. And so I wanted to do something unrelated, but make it like a big. I just wanted to end on my terms.

I wanted to do, so it's called the end. I like that. Plus story, the end. Yeah. Yeah. This is the end. That's the name of the book. So you've never been back to Montreal?

I flew there to drive to Ottawa. The Chish was so fucking hot there. In the summer. I got to go. They're on bikes with like skirts. Actually, I recall my agent tomorrow about Montreal. Oh, it's not a good touring city. No, no, about going up for JFL on like a showcase show.

You should. Because all the people running, it's way smaller now. I'm an old face. I can't do new faces. You could do nasty show. I'd love to do nasty show, yeah. You could do, you know how I booked nasty show? I was in Montreal.

This relates to travel. I was in Montreal open for some, like a mixed martial arts commentator. Rogan. Oh, you know. Yeah, okay, yeah, Joe Rogan. And some chick in the audience, it was wild times back there. So I'm in the back with the guy from Skunk Magazine. They had this new water bong or whatever.

It's like gravity bonged. He made. And so, and I hear Joe Rogan going, some ladies like, it just comes out. He had some drunks back then in the audience. And it was like, she's like, I'll show you my tits. And he goes, if you show me your tits, or you'll show you his dick. And I'm sitting with this guy from Skunk Magazine.

And I go, I hear that. I'm like, I'll be right back, man. I gotta go. And I just, I bawled out, you know, and then I went out there and did, I mean, I've done it a thousand times already, you know, it's a comedy store guys. And the sound of 1,400 people seeing flaccid dick,

so wonderful sound. It's just, it's amazing. So you're a show or not a grower. I'm a grower. Oh, I'm not a shower. It's ball goes lower than my dick. Really? Oh, yeah.

Oh, so you should. You pulled out tiny. Yeah. You don't. Otherwise, it's offensive. Wow. Otherwise, it's over the line. Anyway, then they called me and said, we'd like you to do the nasty show.

Because of that. They promoted the show that were in there. Hilarious. Who runs Netflix now. All those people were there. I'm like, this was this guy purveper for a nasty show. What year is this? I think like 78, 77.

Okay, I got a fucking big acting star coming. Not acting. whatever it's called a big Manhattan guy musician a big Manhattan musician Oliver Tree who the fuck is Oliver Tree Manhattan Manhattan Manhattan he helped me find joy in Manhattan bro former razor scooter professional razor scooter Oliver Tree this fucking oh yeah he's a nerd this was a good episode anyway though Ian I liked it's fun went to Montreal it's kind of per for the episode because we go we cut off we back we go we cut off we come back we learned about putteen so they speak french in montreal

should i cover that they speak french in the french they do not like english in montreal i don't know if that's changed but when i was there maybe it's because i was the one speaking it i we were once we saw some backpacker from quebec city who's very french montreal split so in quebec city and he was like oh we don't uh we're all drunk at the festival we're like oh we don't we don't speak uh you should speak french and we're like oh we're not from we're not from kansas or from the United States, it goes, oh, but still.

Like, what do you mean, but still? Like, we don't, we didn't take French, like, oh,

yeah, somebody later was like, like I could have stabbed you. Those Quebec city people, like Ward, shout out. Are they tough up there? They're,

like, hearty. Because it seems like everyone up there is just like a pussy. I guess I just associate French with like, uh,

no. I know, but there's, there's mean streets everywhere. Mm. There's heroin in Alaska. There's fucking, you know there's parts of everywhere

I think I don't know yeah you're like Arkansas no way but it's like there's heroin there there's no yeah out in the sticks Caparoli used to do a joke about the Montreal tough guys like shut up Pierre dog Francois

yeah um so you got sober right after that pretty soon after that no I got sober I tried in 2008 then I went to rehab in 2009 and then now I have 10 years so I fell a lot.

Yeah. Are you still worried at all or no? I mean, if I don't take care of things, it could sneak up. No, actually, dude, when I was in Ottawa, I went into a pub and I really wanted like soup. It was like kind of a rainy day. I went to a pub and there were all the, what? You don't like a hearty bowl soup on a rainy day? I have never gotten bar soup.

I love. No, I've never once gotten bar soup. Just a cream of. Broccoli on a hearty, whoo. And I went in and it was like all this merriment and like some guy was like, that's what all you need to know about the Italian League. And all of his friends were like, ah, ha, ha, ha. And I was like, I want to be that guy.

It would be a regular bar. Oh, yeah. But then I know every bar I tried to be a regular at I got banned from, you know. Like, you're not allowed to be a regular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have loved to seen Ian drunk. I wouldn't have liked it. I would have liked to have seen it.

No, you would have hated it. hated it. I mean, if you think I'm like annoying now, imagine just like slurring and drunk and fighting and spitting and stealing, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Robbing.

Really? Yeah. Not like strong arm, but like. Yeah. Well, they're not looking. Yeah. Bad stuff. Thank you, Ian.

Everyone check out be in Ian with the Frump Queen and check out a special, wild happy, and free, stamped approval by Dave Chappelle and Ian Doe, his new travel show. That'll be out at some point. Yes. When this comes out. Thank you.

It'll already be out. Buddy, I love you. I definitely would have done your podcast. I just ran out of time. I had a month here, and I was like, oh, any time, I wasn't thinking, I'm not thinking, oh, I got to get back to these people. You know, you've got to harass people at the right time, but not too much because then it's annoying.

I get it. I understand. this. 19 minutes is a track. I get it. No, it's having to be somewhere and then go for a fucking hour having to fucking, you don't, I mean, I don't know what your sense of smell is from all the Coke, but your co-host stinks.

Bro. Stinks. Did you catch her after boxing? No. Usually she's fine. No. You must have caught her on a. You got Coke nose.

You don't smell. Cigarette taste buds too. Yeah. Can't taste their smell. But also, fuck you. She can stink if she's. wants. Oh yeah, I just don't want to be next to. You can stink if you want to. All right. Thank you, buddy. Thank you, man.

Oh. Hey, everybody. Sorry, I dozed off during that episode. But what an episode it was, huh? You're in finance. Thank you very much for coming in, buddy. That was cool. Man, what a different Montreal that I always did. I pretty much only went to Montreal for just for less for the Montreal Comedy Festival. It's interesting, I have a love-hate relationship with that place, and beginning it was love it, and then hate it because I couldn't get in.

And then once I got in, buddy Robbie, Robbie Pra, got me into the nasty show. You know how I got into the nasty show? It's one of the biggest shows in Montreal, even though they're way bigger shows, but it's like one of the most important shows. Obviously, Slateon used to host it all the time. I met Jimmy Carr doing that.

I saw Louis C.K. do a set. He told me... He actually mentioned it years later on an old episode of The Skepert Tank. Those are all gone, by the way. He goes, hey, I saw you do a joke, where you slow motion jerked off two dudes. I always remember that. Good joke. I was like, thanks, Louis C.K.

Anyway, I think that very show. He was going to go on later after the intermission. And he goes, how are they? I'm like, dude, they're great. They're going to be terrible for you. What do you mean? I'm like, dude, they're so ready to be too drunk. You're not going to like it.

And I was right. He didn't. He started yelling at him. Isn't that crazy? The highest level comedian there is. I mean, no matter what your category is, no matter what your breakdown is, he's top five ever.

Even that conservatively. Easy, if you want to pick him number one, easy. Nobody's going to be like, how dare you? If you leave out of the top 10, you're, okay, you're being difficult for no reason. that's what a great he is. And on that night, on that show, the crowd was just,

couldn't handle it. And he was at his prime right then. That's when he got to that discussion about, I've mentioned this. It was that show. About how to build new hours and, like, the joy of it and stuff like that. It's crazy.

It's crazy. It would better for me than for Louis X.K. Dumb, crowd. Dumb. But Ian had a different experience. My first, the way I finally got booked to the nasty show is they wouldn't book me on new faces The big show, they wouldn't book me, wouldn't book me, wouldn't book me

A couple callbacks, wouldn't book me. That was a hack. And then they saw me open for Rogan at the old club soda. And there was some heckler. And he goes, she was like a wreck. He was like, show us your tits. And she goes, no. And he goes, tell you what, if you show us your tits,

Ari will show, we were partying back then. Ari will show you his balls. Or is Dick. Now, at the time, I was in the back in the green room with the guys from Skunk magazine. It was a weed magazine. Can you believe it? What are those are what magazines are? Let alone weed.

It's legal now. Why would you do that? I mean, I guess I have Sikar Officianado. So, I'm wrong. And they were showing me a new, made-to-order gravity bong, not the kind you're making yourself in your bathtub. Shout out central Washington. But that's actually that gravity bomb. gave me. Lenny

from Skunk. Shout out you. That's the way I show Big J. O'Kerson and his wife, Christine O'Kerson, how strong the L.A. Wee was. He said L.A. weed is the same as New York weed. And I said, you're out of your mind. You're retarded, Jay. You're so dumb. You don't even finish off your gloves.

And he goes, prove me wrong. And I had the Super Blue Dream, which was high end, not the highest end. Weed at the time. And we were both shivering in the corner afterwards. Maybe it was the gravity bong? Maybe it's the weed. Maybe it's a combination of both. Maybe it was just friendships, you know, gets you high, sort of. So it was already pretty high on friendship with Jay and Christine. Anyway, so I heard that. I was in the back with Lenny and I was like,

oh shit, I got to go. And I just, I mean, me and Rogan used to party so hard on stage. We used to have so much fun. I got jerked off by some lady in, I think West Palm, Tate Fletcher saw it happen, but she had just dropped off like a bunch of other people and I kissed her. No, I licked her hand first. I think I did a story about it

on this not happening. And I heard him go, oh, we talked about it the next day on stage. We were having a blast. Dude, those dates with Rogan, I mean, I'm not who I am as a comic, not even close without him opening me up to those kind of crowds.

It was so fun. Just going, do whatever you want, bro. Do whatever you want. There's no rules here. That's how you fucking unleash somebody, like a loser like me, is tell them, hey, there's no rules here. How do you say in Portuguese never stop stifling artist? I saw that t-shirt. I should have fucking got it.

It was a tank top. It was too high. Anyway, so I came with my dick out. The crowd makes a certain noise that over 500 people makes when some flaccid male dick is out. I've never fallen out of love with that sound. You could call me lowbrow all you want. Never fall out of love with that sound. Is this cool?

See my face go in and out of the shadow? Hold on. Alan, is this cool? Alan, put on here. Alan says, cool, not cool, and then make a circle around one. Extra work. Today's episode is edited expertly by Alan Kaffey. That's produced by your mom's house network.

Listen, guys, Ian, oh, so anyway, so I put my deck out, the crowd went nuts. The next day I got a phone call. Say, we'd like you to do the nasty show in Montreal. And I talked with Robbie about it. long time and he re-agreed that my style of nasty is not like obligatory nasty it's the same as big jay uh same as jimmy car actually same as adrian it's like we can't help it adrian is not sex dirty she's like dark dirty um i was at the time very sex dirty now i'm more dark dirty i've learned a lot from adrian um yeah and we don't like the guys that are pushing and trying to be dirty

and ravi like the guys who are just like i can't help it i'm really sorry if you want to walk out You're not wrong. The odds I'm recording. You can check Ian out on his website. Ian Fidance. This phone is dying. I dropped it in some water that had poop in the toilet.

I put it on a roll of toilet paper on the back. Mistake. And then I heard it fall. And I dove for it. Guys, it wasn't good toilet water. Me on a stick the night before. Lots of cheap beer in there. Wiped it, wiped it, wiped it.

hand sanitizer wiped it off more little pieces of shit on the fucking towel which means it was on there worked for a few days then stopped it's going on and off i don't know long live the fucking motto g4 2024 uh his website is ianfidance.com for um dates and tickets you can go to punchup dot live slash ian finance also dispelled fadance yeah he's bye his instagram is ian ean E animal 69. E. Animal 69. Ian is a homosexual. But he fucks a higher level of woman than I ever did, which is what makes people hate gays in the first place. Stay in your lane. His podcast is a standard podcast that you guys all know. The old one is B and Ian with Jordan. He started that. He was a bigger comment than Jordan Jensen. Eventually, he was just being Ian. And then she was like, you know,

I need a little name in here too. And she goes, how about you being in him with Jordan? And she goes, can I get my full name? And he goes, no, you cannot. If my full name's not in it, your full name's not in it. And then eventually she got much, much bigger than him. She eclipsed him. And Eclipse is not a fat joke. She's not fat. She's just like nothing-bodied.

Ian personifies, I'm sorry, Jordan personifies a nothing body. She is the little brother you always had. When she puts on makeup, she looks trans. Anyway, eventually she got way bigger than Ian. I'm sure it tears them up. It probably really, really bothers him. and then she fought for the last name and she got it she goes I'll walk she did for a short time

that's Hollywood hardball you Jordan walked for a long time and now it's B and Ian with Jordan Jensen he's also got a new show at YMH called Ian Dew it's a show where he finds local tradesmen in the cities he's touring and learns how to do their jobs

I mean that's gotta be what's that called mansplaining I can do your job Ian Do you can find it on On his, where is this? On his YouTube account, right? God, it be his YouTube.

Ian Due by Ian Finance, my travel show. Oh, it's a travel show. Wow, that's great. His last episode, episode one, K-9 Training. That's his first episode. He's got four videos as of right now. This will come out in a couple weeks. As of right now, I haven't worn shoes in four days.

It's been pretty nice. Ian also was a solid comedian. You guys will really like him. He's high energy. We've traded gun before on stage. Ian, whatever happened to that clip, you should put it out. That was a fun, fun night.

Comedy seller. What's the problems I miss comedy? Actually, I just have fond memories of it. It's pretty sad, actually. I have no missing of this at all. By the way, subscribe wherever we're watching it, listen. Leave a comment, guys, for the algorithm. You can start leaving comments for the algorithm?

Maybe some insult, you know, from the show. So, how about for this one? I think it should be called Jordan Jensen with being Ian. Jordan Jensen discovers how to be. I don't know. I could have done better there. That was on me. Ian's on the road.

What better chance to see him do stand-up comedy than the road? Yeah, he's at the comedy cell all the time and shit like that. But if you want to see him do a full fucking hour, probably 48 minutes. Head over to punchup. Live slash Ian, Fidance, or Fidance. Again, he's bisexual. He's by. Where he'll be in.

Ballmore, Maryland. Oh, my home stay at the Port Comedy Club this weekend. February 7th to 28th, 27th and 28th. Two shows each night. Then Nashville, Tennessee, the Latvianzani's, one of the best clubs in the world. He's at the room next door. Huntsville, Alabama, Rochester, Minnesota,

Madison, Wisconsin, at the Alliance Energy Center. Now, on March 15th, now, these are wrong. These, okay, first of all, Ian, you got to say when you're opening for somebody. You're at the Mayo Civic Center, March 13th. Okay, sure, you could do it. March 15th in Madison, Wisconsin, you're at the Alliance Energy Center. Now, is that an opening date, buddy? Should say with somebody.

I'm going to go buy tickets. But first of all, let me point this out, Ian, about your website. This is, Ari is autistic about websites. Nobody has a worse website than Ari Maddie, by the way. I mean, built clearly by a Cold War survivor. March 15th is in Madison, Wisconsin. March 15th is in Fargo to North Dakota. How can they be in both those places?

How can they be in both of those? And then March 20th, Kansas City, Missouri, the Funny Bone. That's his date. I believe that's his date. April and Manchester, Connecticut, and Calgary at the laugh shop, wrong room. should be at Yuck Yox. Shout out Yucks.

Shout out Yucks. Shout out Scott. But still go see him. Point Pleasant and Uncle Vinny's in May, Albany, in May, Syracuse in June, and Greenville, South Carolina. Greenville, Greenville, Greenville, Greenville, Richmond, Virginia, Richmond.

Saratoga Springs, New York. Philadelphia at Helium. That's a great club. Doing the main room. Congratulations. And then Miami, Florida, Cozumel, Mexico. Burke Kreischer's fully loaded cruise.

Oh, dude. Ian, you're not going to like the kind of cruise. It's not the kind of cruise your people want. What your people want, Ian, is also known as a priest cruise where it's mostly dudes. That's what you want. Where international waters can't judge you. God can't even reach you. Now let's go back to that date before.

Let's see who the fuck he's opening for in March at the Alliance. Hey, maybe he got so much bigger than I. I remember that I owe an apology and I'm willing to apologize. I'm a guy who apologizes when I'm wrong. I should not have dose Burke Kreischer. Kobe D. Treat ruled and Bobby Lee had to had to be shown. Madison Wisconsin, the Alliance Energy Center. Buy tickets.

Let's see. Let's see. Okay. Oh. Well, what do we have here? It must be a misprint. It says Burke Kreischer. Wow, it says Burke Chryser.

What do you mean? But I thought it was a, I thought it was an Indian finance date. Burk crash has $35 tickets. Standard emission, row age, back row. But good for you, Bert. 3578. And now let's see what Ticketmaster does when you get two of them. 71, upper level seats, 71.56.

That's what it should be. Confirming availability. Let's get two tickets. Oh, do they make a law saying you have to show? I got to wrap this up. Have to show the actual price now? Let's see. No, I don't have an account.

What? If you have an account where a problem to create one. Ah, damn it. Oh, so they can get my shit. Fuck off. Well, Bert, you just lost the sale. I'm sorry. Ian, you just lost the sale.

So now, let's go back again. Do you think Ian is in another? My website, Ian Finance. Let's go. Fargo, North Dakota, March 15th. Let's see what that one. It's at the Shields Arena. Again, another great Ian Finance built. Well, this says March 14th. Bert, hey, can someone talk to Bert real quick? Bert, I have a couple words for you.

Number one, your shoe, the Burke Crusher Flip Flop. I can't speak for the slide, but the Burr Crutch Flip Lop is the most comfortable flip-lop I've ever worn. Ever, easily, ever. I've taken it to so many countries now. I mean, probably nearing on 20. And it's served me well everywhere. Shouldn't get it wet. $45 is the lowest one there.

It's an arena. I'll allow it. But, Bert, I got a message for you. Your openers. Not pulling their weight. Now, you have your guy in finance taking credit for your show, your hard work. He never got it to an arena. An arena?

Do you know who plays at the fucking... Where is this? Shields Arena. I actually don't. I actually don't know who plays there. I actually never heard of it. I don't know why they would have an arena there. All events.

Fargo First Force versus Waterloo Blackhawks. What is it, minor league hockey? The Madison Capitals. Oh, it's the Fargo Force. Is this minor league hockey? Anyway, Bert, he's not doing his job. He's telling him the wrong dates. People are going to show up on the wrong dates.

Hey, I didn't get tickets. Ian, I trusted Ian. He told me. Now, Bert, let me ask you a question. Because I know you've taken guys on the road who've just been great with a pit barbecue. And that's great because they added something to the tour. Absolutely. Now, if you're bringing Ian, bringing Ian to get lots of fucking hot, horny dudes,

then I take it back. And I'd have to apologize. Ian is the best at corralling hot, horny, lubed up, and also possibly not lobed up. If that's what you want, if you want a not lubed up dude, Listen, Ian's not about problems. Ian's about solutions. And he'll get you a not lubed up dude. It's going to be hard to find because these dudes love to loob.

Guys, I mean, what am I doing here at this point? Next week, Giulio Galarati, one of the all-time great stand-up comedian travelers will be on the episode talking about Iraq. We've never had that before. I had some money on the wall from Iraq. Some Saddam Hussein money. I don't think that's the usable currency anymore. And Julia went there.

He goes to places no comedian goes, and he had a fucking blast. We're going to talk about it next week. Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening. This is, you should know by now, a visual podcast. The pictures we put in there. Next week is going to be a prime example of that are such that you should be watching it. On Spotify, Niana, this is available on Spotify to watch, right? It should be.

And on YouTube for sure at UV Chippin'Pod. Please subscribe and hit the like button and leave a comment for the algorithm so more people see it. I've met a bunch of people on the road who are not fans. I've been obviously Kill Tony is my number one draw. Joe Rogan number two. And then here I've met a lot of people who are fans of not just other stuff of mine, but this travel pockets, which makes sense because I'm out in the world. These aren't even people from hostas.

These are like locals or these are people from like Bosnia who are like I just ran into in fucking Florianapolis or some shit. So please like, subscribe, and leave a comment. Leave a comment about someplace you're going to go or just got back from and ask anybody else for advice, and it's a nice little message boy. I think there's a Reddit account too. I'm not really sure what else is going on.

But get in the discussion. Get your passport, everybody. You need one from Montreal because their prime minister is now dating a rock star in America. Is that true? Somebody told me that was true. It doesn't seem true.

You know when they say it's all the matrix, saw an algorithm, whatever they call, all a, you know, computer program. Then why would they program that? They program less outsider, outlier stuff. Anyway, that's it, you guys. Please subscribe wherever you're watching the listing. Buy a T-shirt. Buy a Ubi-chipa T-shirt.

Wear it proudly on the road. I wear it on buses. They're very comfortable. So I wear it on long-distance overnight buses all over the fucking Latin American countries. Latin, they call it in a lame way. Wear yours, wherever you go. Take it with you on the road. Get a black one, unless it's going to be too hot,

and then get a mint, colored one, and get some t-shirts, stick them up and tag the UB. Chippin'Pod. At UB.Trippin'Pod, where you can see more pictures every time. You can also subscribe to my own podcast page, not sorry, my own Instagram page at Ari Jafir

and my YouTube account at YouTube. com slash at Ari Javier. We can watch my special Ari Jafir Jou. Best thing I've ever done. Until this episode, you just watch now, only to be eclips, by next week's episode with Giulio Gailorani, number one comedian, traveler in the business. I'm Ari Sheffir saying, bonjour.

Oh, also, I didn't mention, I fucked a lot in Montreal. It's been a really good fuck city for me. So give it up for Montreal and all the chicks who will take me, an uncondemned to me inside their vaginas. Kudos to you. O'Vois.