You Be Trippin' - Nairobi w/ Monroe Martin | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

SPONSORS: -Get 10% off your entire order at https://thefreezepipe.com/ with promo code TRIPPIN -F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code TRIPPIN15 at https://theperfectjean.nyc/TRIPPIN15 #sponsored On this episode of You Be Trippin’, Monroe Martini goes on a wild safari and shares stories about his time in Nairobi. He talks about the stray dogs, Swahili food, and upscale restaurants. He also discusses the cost of living, the open mic scene, the security, and the terrifying traffic. Other topics include: college gigs, coffee chains, flea markets, and massages. Enjoy! https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com You Be Trippin Ep. 07 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh my god, how'd you sleep? I would not have been able to sleep. I slept like a baby. What? I slept like a baby. Here's what I slept like a baby. God, the training you got in orphanages must have been the fucking best. Yo, I slept through fire alarms.

Man, you gotta sleep. And when you grow up in group homes, you gotta know how to get some sleep in. Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're gonna talk about travel today it's you'll be what's behind the dairy farmers of canada blue cow logo on your favorite dairy products it's high canadian standards which means we meet 42 food safety requirements we work with animal care experts and work towards a sustainable future.

That's Dairy Farming Forward. Welcome to You Be Trippin', everybody. I almost said You Be Drunk. You Be Trippin'. Welcome to You Be Trippin', you guys. I'm your host, Ari Shaffir. I love to travel, and every week, every episode, we talk to a friend of mine or someone I don't know

about some magical place in the world. And today it's another amazing stand-up comic and a buddy of mine and now a fellow traveler. Yes. You've been going more lately, huh? Yeah, man. Monroe Martin. I got to say her name first. I shouldn't have.

Say my name, god damn it. It was a bad question set up when I don't say your name and I already start talking about you. Yeah, no. I've been to China, Italy, Africa. Damn. Yeah, and like, when I say Mexico and shit, I'm like, eh, because people, everybody go to Mexico. Cancun doesn't really count, unless you're going to somewhere deep in like Oaxaca or

something. Never Oaxaca. All resorts. All resorts. Columbia. Resort? Yeah. No, Columbia, we was in, what was that shit? Cartagena. All resorts. Columbia. Resort? Yeah.

No, Columbia, we were in, what was that shit? Cartagena. Cartagena. Oh, wow. Yeah, that shit was fun. That's cool. I went to Medellin. It was cool as shit.

But that's what we're talking about today. Yeah, let's go. Today we're talking about some place you just got back from. Was China your first trip? China would be my first real foreign place. Nah, Italy. I went to Italy before China china i remember you saying you were going to china i actually went to text you yeah i was like you know how you opened up the last text yeah and i was like hey i have a new travel podcast do you want to come on talk about

china and i just saw you're like whatever i'd asked before like can't this week i'm in nairobi yo like oh and i was like and i was like it was so fun where'd you fun Why'd you go there? I went for a show So I posted on Instagram Where haven't I been? No wait They brought you to do that? They brought me to do that Wait how'd you do it? Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you

So I posted online Where haven't I been? Like what cities haven't I been to and performed in? And you know you get the American cities And somebody was like Nairobi And then i liked it and then they were like yo but seriously what happened oh keep going yeah there was like i i

liked it and then i was like hey where can i perform in nairobi and it was like oh well i actually run a place no fucking way there's a booker who he runs like punchline comedy club punchline comedy nairobi and he was like yo we just Club, Punchline Comedy Nairobi. And he was like, yo, we just started a comedy scene like 2017, like actual traditional stand-up. Because they did comedy before, but it was always like slapstick, sketch stuff. So he was like, I would love for you to come out here and like see what it's about,

but also do my two shows. He did two theater shows at like a 300-seat theater. No way. Last year, our first show was really good. also do my two shows he did two theater shows that like a 300 seat theater no way last year our first show was really good wasn't sold out second show i think they got really close to selling out if not sold out damn fucking great wait right let's see where's nairobi nairobi all right where's i switch i swapped it so you don't get used to it we always put america here and i'm like nah why you know i'm thinking of doing making a new one with it upside down because there's I swapped it so you don't get used to it. We always put America here, and I'm like, nah, why? Nah, fuck that. You know what I'm thinking of doing?

Making a new one with it upside down. Because there's actually no top and bottom. It's just north and south. Yeah. That would confuse people, though. That could be just as, like, correct. There's no up and down in space. Because it just repeats itself. So I know Nairobi, it'll be like East Africa.

East. East. Masawala, Barbera. And it should be down. It should be, if I'm not mistaken, under like a. Mozambique. Oh, it's close. Because if you're near Mozambique, then you're near Nairobi.

It's crazy. It's not around here. Should I Google it? No, no. I know it's around here. It's just interesting. I can't see it. It's probably small.

All right. When is this map from? I think like the 18. What does it say? I can't see it. Probably small. All right. When is this map from? I think like the 18... What does it say? I don't know. Ocean currents. Trade winds. Keith Johnson.

Never trust a dude named Keith Johnson. Make maps. Southern continent. I think it's from like the 1500s. You know what I mean? Like a lot of these, whatever, anyway. Anyway, fuck it. All right, it's out there.

It should be on there. It's out there. But it was fun, man. So you went out to Nairobi. I went out to Nairobi. I brought my wife, and I wouldn't have went if I couldn't bring my wife. So when I negotiated, I negotiated flight and stay to cover that stuff. Were you scared?

Nah, I kind of got over that shit when I was younger. I ain't afraid to go nowhere. Wow. Yeah. Really? Yeah, because to me it's like I've never been in one place long enough to really feel comfortable to the point where I can't go anywhere else, to the point where I, meaning like I moved around so much as a kid

that as an adult I'm like, well, it makes sense that you would go around and you would keep moving and be a Rolling Stone. So, yeah, I'm not afraid to go anywhere. That was one of the reasons I even started doing comedy because I'm like, shit is unpredictable and it can take you anywhere. So fucking unpredictable. And it can take you anywhere. And so far it has. Wait, so, okay, so what's it like? What did you do there?

So one, it's not like it was like, I ain't even going to lie. Not nervous, but when I brought it to my wife, she was kind of like, I don't know. Yeah, that's what I mean, scared. Because she expected it to be like Columbia. We went to Columbia, man. They begging the moment you got off that plane. The moment you get off the plane, they fucking asking for money. They chase you down the street and shit. So we was expecting that.

And I'm not afraid of it. I'm just like, all right, I'm going with that in my mind. But we went. It was none of that. Really? It was fucking great, yo. What was, like, explain the vibe. First thing that I noticed is that Africans, or at least this group of Africans, aren't loud at all. At all.

Interesting. And you hear the excuse growing up, like, I'm loud because I'm African. That's my roots. Those motherfuckers were quiet, yo. Like, you would have to lean in to hear them talk. They would be like. Really? Something, something, something.

You're like, what? What are you saying? What are you saying? And then, like, you had to get close. Just like, I expected, like, Moomba. Like, all that shit. When you get off at the airport, that's what you expected. Yeah, was it, like, traditional?

Nah. The way they present Africa. Dude, I read this article on Africa on how to write about Africa. And it's all the stereotypes You don't realize You've been seeing There's always a mama character Never

You got It's the Animals are more important Than humans No Nah they didn't give a fuck Like when they heard The way we treat my

I treat my dog They was like why Cause like I think we do the same thing We get our dog Like food That like freeze dried And they come in and shit like that.

And it's like, why? Let it outside. It'll find something to eat. Were there strays there? Huh? Were there strays there? A bunch of these motherfuckers just running around. And they didn't care.

And they were like, because it'll end up, somebody will take it in as a pet and then let it go and it'll find another home. Yeah. They respect the animals animals but they're not like oh this is my baby they're like no no motherfucking job is to fucking kill other things that aren't supposed to be on my farm is it crazy they just like roam around outside and then just like they'll be back yeah it's so or they'll get hit by a car and i'll be back and they thought we were stupid because i thought that was going to be all the animals and i was like me and my

wife was like all right but there's dogs running around. How come we haven't seen any like bears or any like wild cats? And it was like, because motherfucking you in the city. Like you got to go so far to see wildlife. Like that's also. Oh, really? Yo, we had to go so far. Like you can see a cow.

But like you seeing like a fucking bear or whatever walking around, nah. Yeah, right. And they laughed at us. Lions, though. That's what you expect. You expect lions. No lions. All, like, sticks.

Is it just, like, a first world city? Yeah. What, do they got, like, McDonald's and shit? They got McDonald's. They got a hell of a lot of chicken spots at McDonald's and stuff. A hell of a lot of chicken spots at McDonald's and stuff. We went to a lot of classy restaurants that would even be considered upscale here. So, okay.

Like rooftop bars. A lot of rooftops. A lot of rooftops with the twinkle lights and the shit. Yeah, yeah. Look like you're just at any old brunch spot. Same shit there. Overlooking the city of Nairobi. Yeah. Here, look.

I'll show you. Smorgasbords and shit. I swear to God. What kind of food was there at these places? All types of shit. Hold on. Sorry, because I got Columbia stuff mixed in. How do you have mixed in?

It's timestamps. I don't know, man. I don't really plan on looking at this stuff again. Because you edited it, so then it's saved new. Yeah. Hold on. I got to find all of this shit. Wait.

So is it like East African food? It's mixed, man. So it's like, here, just start scrolling. This is like what one of the spots we went to. Oh, what is that? It looked like this was one of the spots. This was like an outdoor restaurant that we went to. This is the first place we went to off the plane.

Wow. Like, he was like the guy who booked us. This seems like Hawaii, dude. Yo, he was like, hey, y'all want to go get something to eat? And he was like, sure. And I'm already prepared to eat with my hands and shit. He bugs you. Yeah, I'm already prepared to be like, this foo-foo was good but it was fucking everything look at that fire pit outside dope ass fire pit oh my god it was beautiful upscale upscale

wow how hot was it it wasn't even that hot that was another thing that got us too as it was cold as shit most of the pictures i have on the jacket because i thought it would get like extremely like hot over there and i take my jacket off i was sniffling and no way it was chilly really it was chilly it doesn't snow over there but it gets it gets kind of frigid who these other people just two random black those are the other comics on the show that'd be funny it was like No, those are the other comics on the show. That would be funny. I was like, oh, this would be. That's the comic on the show. Is he Nairoban?

No, he's from South Africa. And he wasn't expecting Nairoban to look like that either. Really? Because he's from South Africa. And South Africa is different from the rest of Africa. It's rich. I'm not saying that no other part of Africa is rich. But like South Africa, they got money.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's expensive to live there. It's like... And so he... Yeah. So what, he thought... He thought he would come to Nairobi, because he said he's never been either, and that he

would, like, he was expecting the same shit. Jungle. He was expecting it to be a little bit more, like, depleted and stuff like that. Yeah. And it wasn't. Like, we were all like, what the fuck? Like, besides the roads... The what what the fuck? Besides the roads. The what?

Besides the roads. When you're driving down a road, it'll quickly go from paved street to dirt road within three blocks. But besides that, new hotels, dope restaurants. That's weird too, though, right? When the roads are just washed out. Yeah, you're like, what the fuck? A a lot of those places it'll just be like thank you it'll just be like yeah yeah like a highway and then suddenly like where are we slowing down if you're on a bus and

you're like what the fuck we're bouncing now that's exactly what it was it was just like um a lot of dirt roads but a lot of like paved highways and like the paved highways and shit definitely led to the richer areas and shit but like here this is what i'll show you yeah like i was showing people that and i'm like you would think i would be like i was in miami i took a video just to be like where do you think i'm at and you would think i'm like in miami but with the bathrooms like i mean they were third world like okay explain those yeah all right fucking disgusting still got a shit in the hole i didn't know wait really they had a whole shitter like that yeah it was disgusting the bathrooms are Okay, explain those. Yeah. All right, explain those. Fucking disgusting. You still got a shit in the hole. I didn't do it. No way, really? They had a hole shitter like that?

Yeah, it was disgusting. The bathroom was nasty. That was definitely third world. Damn. Yeah. How'd your lady... She didn't want to do none of that shit. Here, I think...

Yeah, you're just going to have to go through the videos, because I got some shit that's like other stuff. But this is like from the rooftop of the hotel I was at. Yeah, that's like's like That's like Vegas That's like a regular Fucking city dude They're just doing Construction on the bottom

But like Damn it seems big Yeah How big is Nairobi I don't know It was huge though Wow look at all that traffic Yeah

Guys I'm taping my special April 26th and 27th In Washington D.C. Get tickets right now At rushfeer.com I'm a stand-up comic And so is Monroe Martin And that's what we're doing here

I'm going to tell you about our shows Monroe has a 20-minute special he has on YouTube right now That he taped from this episode Monroe Martin's live from Nairobi, Kenya It's on YouTube right now and you want to check it out Monroe is one of the most interesting comics That I know in New York When I moved there I was like

Oh, I didn't think it was possible for someone to break free of genre so much that they can just do, kind of really be themselves and be unique and interesting. And that's Monroe. He's his own man. Maybe because he grew up in an orphanage and had to make his own path in the world. Anyway, I've also got some other dates, all of them at AriShafir.com. Don't forget to subscribe to at UBTrippinPod on social media and on YouTube so you can see all the fucking crazy stuff that Monroe posted, the videos he took and the pictures he took from this trip. It's wild.

It's going to be good if you listen, UBTrippin, but if you watch on UBTrippinPod on YouTube, it's also really wild. We already got 35,000 subscribers. I've got some other dates. May 9th and 10th, I'm doing in Los Angeles my storytelling show. Ari Shaffir's renamed storytelling show. May 9th, May 10th, 10.30 each night. Get tickets right now before it sells out.

Small venue, the Comedy Store. They both will sell out quick. Get tickets. It's always a great time. I'm also going to be in Halifax. First show sold out, so we added a second show on April 11th. April 12th, Ottawa sold out. April 13th, Vermont.

Rutland, Vermont. Tremendous amount of tickets left. Huntington, New York at the Paramount. April 14th, 420 in Austin at the Paramount there as well. And then my special, Washington, D.C., the Capitol turnaround, April 26th and 27th. Early show, 27th is sold out. Get tickets for the late show or the first show on,

look, I'm in and out of the light here. This is probably weird to look at. And then I got Australia. It's all on sale now. It starts with May 17th in Melbourne. Canberra on May 25th. Adelaide, May 24th. Brisbane, May 21st.

And Sydney, May, June 1st, and then I'm done. I'm done till 2025. I'm not going on the road. So if you didn't see me before then, you just aren't going to see me. I'm Ari Shaffir. I'm a standard comic. So has Monroe Martin. Now let's get back to the episode. Today's episode of You Be Trippin' is brought to you by Vaya. Guys, Vaya makes fine gummies. Edibles. Yeah, you know whataya. Guys, Vaya makes fine gummies. Edibles. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. It's for THC.

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Back to the episode. Hey, everybody. I'm Ari Shaffir. And if there's one thing you know about me, it's that I have massive balls. Not just figuratively. Back to the episode. huge and they're constantly getting caught up in jeans bulging against the fucking pressure of the denim that's why i found the perfect jean yeah the perfect jean from the perfect jean.nyc lots of room in the dick lots of room in the balls yeah maybe you're a dick guy i'm not i'm a balls guy and as a ball guy i want plenty of room in here and these jeans are comfortable they don't shrink in the washer or dryer when Ryan fucking dries them.

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Fuck your khakis and get the perfect jean. See you on the road. Mad traffic. Really? Like, people, like, so much traffic that some people would just like drive on the sidewalk a little bit like pull up and then go around if they needed to and then there's people that would just walk in the middle of the street like didn't matter where because they like are the dude who's driving us yeah we had a driver for like majority of the time we were there yeah

but when we were going to the safari, we had a different driver. And this motherfucker went 90 for three hours straight. Really? Yeah, 90. Three hours, 90 and above, three hours straight, did not hit the brakes once. And we just slide around the backseat like this. Do you ever feel like dangerous when you're doing those things?

Or do you just like go limp and like, hey, it's happening. I'm not going to say let me out. No, like I feel in danger when that shit is happening. But I'm like, if it's God's will, God's will. Yeah, I almost get to the point where I'm like laughing because I'm like, I've got no control over this. And it's so far beyond what I'm comfortable with. I just don't want my death to hurt. That's it.

I'm just like, let it be quick. If I die in a car accident, let it be one of those Final Dest destination zones yeah it just takes the whole top of the car off and i'm there too yeah i don't want to be twitching and they'd be like fight hold on like no they could kill me put a hand on them is that my leg over there yeah it fell off in the thing like no end it end it that so choking up i'm Yeah, I don't want none of that shit. Yeah. I make, like, when I first started getting on planes for comedy, I would just be like, you just got to make peace with death.

And you'd be like, if it goes down, just make sure it's, like, in the fucking blaze of glory. When you think about it, too, in comedy, like, it has gone that bad before. Yeah. So it's like, it does suck. I will survive it. You got to be comfortable with it, though. You got to be like, look, I got to fucking go. Oh, you see gone that bad before. Yeah. So it's like, it does suck. I will survive it. You got to be comfortable with it, though. You got to be like, look, I got to fucking go. Oh, you seen the giraffe and shit?

Yeah, so when did you get into that? So this is the giraffe sanctuary. So first they teased us. They went, hey, y'all want to go see, like, go to a sanctuary? And it's like, fine. So we went to elephant sanctuary. Giraffe sanctuary was just like, this is where, like, elephants whose parents have been killed and shit,

they bring their babies here and then raise them. it's like an orphanage and it was cool do you ride them no i wish it's not that strong you ever touch the elephant yeah dude when i was in thailand i went twice yeah and uh the second time we did the elephant you know thing yeah and the second time they were like hey we're all going to this elephant sanctuary and i was like i've been to one of those and they go did you do the humane one or the inhumane one? And I was like, oh, for sure I did the humane one. Yeah. And they go, did you ride the elephants?

Because you don't ride the elephants at the humane one. I was like, oh, no, then inhumane. Yeah, they smacked the shit out of the elephants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they make them play harmonica. Huh? They make them play harmonica. Really?

Yeah, they're not. And that doesn't really happen in nature. So they've trained them to do that. Yeah, they're not. And that doesn't really happen in nature. So they've trained him to do that. Yeah, they shocked his feet or something. Yeah, play that shit. Blow the nose. She'll be coming around. Do you think he plays the blues?

He just kind of plays. I think he plays a tune. All that fucking beating just for two notes. Tarzan noise. Just that's it. And it was like, we did it. No, we didn't get to ride him or nothing, but you get to touch him,

and there's nothing separating you but a string. And there was one that walked towards us, and he pushed this a little bit, and I felt the power of that elephant because I couldn't do nothing. You know like I'm gonna see if I can like push back and stand my that motherfucker move me with no problem that I had a fun walk right past me and push me and I agree your dad when your little kids they squeeze my hand yeah that shit yeah Wow really that elephant

pushed the shit out of me like in a good way to make me go, all right, this shit's strong. How much was the Safari thing? Didn't pay for it. All of that was a gift. From the comedy place? From the comedy place. They hooked up in a nice situation. I fucking texted my group chat.

I was like, fuck any festival beyond this. Because I've never been treated better than, like, I've been to a couple festivals and none of them has treated me as good as this. Really? Yeah. That's people in Africa. Damn. Like, they made sure you ate.

They put you up in a nice hotel, fucking gave you an itinerary. And they flew you to check out, too? Yeah. Wow. Fucking went to safari. Yeah. Like, an overnight safari where you're staying on ground. No, really?

So what comes out at night? We didn't fucking stay out at night. They make you go in your tent. They tell you this. They go, so when dinner's over, go in your tent. Do not come back out. If you need anything, please shine the flashlight up the hill and someone will come and get you.

And at first you're like, man, I'll be fine. But you hear the things rustling and like, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, and all that shit. Wait, how's your tent going to protect you? It don't. It doesn't. Yeah, what are you talking about? It doesn't fucking protect you.

Because at first, like, my wife was like, just zip the tent up. Let's get in here. And I'm like, babe, you know anything out there can rip through this shit. Yeah, you think a fucking wildebeest is not going to be able to tear down this tent We got monkeys running around in our tent No fucking way No fucking way Running on the top of the tent and shit

Oh my god how'd you sleep I would not have been able to sleep I slept like a baby I slept like a goddamn baby Here's what I slept like a baby God The training you got in orphanages Yo I slept through fucking fire alarms

Man you gotta sleep And when you grow up in group homes You gotta know how to get some sleep in What brain you got in orphanages? Yo, I slept through fucking fire alarms. Man, you got to sleep. And when you grow up in group homes, you got to know how to get some sleep in. Damn. Dude, I'm telling you, I can sleep. My wife would try to wake me up. She's like, babe, you hear it? You hear it?

I'm like, yeah, it's nature. Like, she got mad because I said that. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to be making the same noise when we wake up. Like, let me sleep. Because we had to be up at like 6 to go on the safari. But you can hear them running across the thing. Are there like dangerous animals at night? Don't the mountain cats come out?

We found out like on the last night. Yeah. We found out that we were right next to a hyena den. We didn't know we were near a hyena den until like I got a video What? Hyenas fighting right? No Yeah They fucking going at it It's the dopest fight ever

It's way better than Lion King No Way better than anything Lion King can put together Here I'll show you this shit These motherfuckers was getting it I don't know They didn't fucking parade down the aisles They were getting it in

They were getting it in Y' I was like. They were getting it in. They were beating up that one. They were beating up the one because that one tried to kill the baby. They tried to kill the baby. They tried to kill the fucking baby. So they whooped that one's ass.

And then we had to drive off after that. Why? Because they're, like, not dangerous? Because it was like, all right, yeah, let's get out of here. So we're driving off. And literally. They want that fucking baby, dude. We were right next to this shit.

We were like, wait, hold on. This is where the hyena stayed? It was like, we're right on. This is where the hyenas stay? We were right over this fucking patch of grass. It was just nothing but a patch of grass separating us. But dude, how great is this fucking sunset? Oh, you want to see something even better? Is that the Serengeti?

Nah, that's the Mara, the Maasai Mara. Wow. So the Mara is a stretch of land that the Maasai own and they leave to the Maasai of the people and is left for the wildlife. So they live on it, but they try not to

build anything on it. So there's no like sewers or anything. Wait, send me that one. Which one? The one where they're fighting? Airdrop? Yeah, I'm going to airdrop it. No more shits off. You have to text me. I'll text that to you.

But here's the most. To me, this was the most. Because I don't want to miss that one because you had a lot. Look. What? Wow. Wow. Yo, my phone didn't pick up clearly.

How many are there? There's like 12 of them. It's a bunch of baby. It's like five baby elephants in the middle of all these. In a fucking pack. Walking towards us. Wow a fucking pack walking towards us they're walking towards and we were like at first it's beautiful and you're like oh my god and you're like wait would they think that we're dangerous and they'll trample us it'd be over no he was

like but let's just keep going that was beautiful god we seen a leopard eat a eat a gazelle in a tree. Here, you can hear the crunching. You can hear the leopard fucking go, and crunch on this thing's bones. Oh, my God. No way. Here, I'm going to turn it up. No fucking way. There you go. You can hear it's like, and it's dropping pieces down for the cubs, for the leopard cubs.

He already killed it? Already killed it. So it's still up there. So it's still up there. He killed it and then dragged it up there and then started throwing pieces down for the babies. Oh, he dragged it up there. What is it? What does he kill?

A gazelle. You know how big a gazelle is? He dragged a gazelle into a tree? In the fucking tree. Not even forward. He pushed it into a tree. In the goddamn tree. What got them what is it a lion a tiger it's a leopard leopard oh yeah and you would think that leopards aren't that strong but apparently they're strong as hell damn you hear that shit like yeah just broke it it. And I think I got two videos of them actually dropping bits and pieces,

like heart and stuff, onto the ground. I saw it. You see it? Yeah. Yeah, for the babies. Why did he bring it up there in the first place? So the hyenas can't get it. Yeah, because there's hyenas and there's jackals that also feed off of other animals.

But they don't climb trees or some shit? I mean, they do. But if they do, then the fucking, the leopard going to kill them. Wow. Oh, monkeys right next to deer? Yo, everybody's just chilling. Everybody's just chilling. I'm going to show you something that's going to blow your mind.

We came across like fucking. It's a monkey pack and a deer pack just mixed in. They're just chilling. A monkey was just on the back of a goddamn, there was a monkey on the back of like a water buffalo. No. Yeah. What, they're just not enemies? That's Lion King.

They're not enemies because they don't hunt each other. Right. And they don't even get the same food, so they're just like, whatever. Yo, here, ready? What? This was the dopest shit. We were near so many lion. So you slept in the park?

We were close. I think I zoomed out in that one just so you know. How far you were. Yeah, it's like we would like be like here. Is that a snake right next to them too? No, that's a snake. Oh. But that's just one of them.

And they're like right there. And I'm like, oh. Once it turns to me, I'm like, no. Yeah. Get me out. I'm like, yo, is this thing going to fucking yawn and shit? And this dude is like telling us, like, oh, they don't worry about you. Why not?

Why don't they? You're meat. You're a lot of meat. You got to believe them. I'm saying, why don't they come at you? He said that they don't see us. They see the truck that we're in. But if you see the truck, you're like, they've seen us.

It's like open. Yeah. Like Jurassic Park. Like they're just chilling. There's so many, like so many lion prides. So what is it? It's just like miles and miles and you're just in the middle of it? Miles of lions and all this shit.

And they all coexist with each other. So what, if you got out of your tent, then they would see you? Oh. Is that the thing? What? Look, this is my bold-ass wife fucking guide. Because they gave us breakfast on the Mara. Out there in the Mara.

So she sat down. I stood up the whole time. To protect? I was doing lunches and shit. Look at that fucking meal they made. Yo, they was making a hell of a lot of their pancakes and eggs and shit. And I'm like, yo. They set a whole table. I'm like, yo, they can smell us, right a hell of a lot of their pancakes and eggs and shit and i'm like they set a whole table i'm like yo they can smell us right they set a whole table a whole table

dude you live like a king is that jif that's jif yeah is that what is that coffee or tea that uh you have both you have coffee at tea you have honey do they make african tea is that a thing kenyan tea kenyan tea it's the greatest shit ever so What is it? Is it like sweet, sour, salty? Not salty. I would say it's very close to like green tea. It's probably a green tea. So it's caffeinated. But the way they do it is they steep it in milk.

Really? And stuff like that. So I never had, I didn't do it Kenyan style. I just did the Kenyan tea. With no milk. With no milk and then hot water and stuff. This is a good meal. Yo, what is that?

Churros? Or is that sweet potatoes? Hold on. Okay, you got bacon. You got eggs. You got beans. That's toast. But over here, you also have pancakes and potatoes.

So they just made you this in the morning? In the fucking morning. Dude, that's so gorgeous. That landscape is fucking gorgeous. For you, I'm sitting there the whole time like, yo, but we just got done passing the whole Pride Alliance. So you're like, guys, guys, guys, we're not safe here. We're not safe here.

We didn't go that far. What did they do? They stay in their zones? That's what they say. They say they're not the people who were responsible, they're not concerned with you. No, fuck that. They're wrong. I've seen lines run a long way.

Yo. That's wrong. They're wrong. They said they're not concerned with us. They're like, don't worry. They're not concerned. And they will laugh at us any time. No one who died has written a bad review.

Because they did. They did. Yes. Exactly. If it goes horribly wrong there there they will not write a review because it will be dead yeah that's why you gotta write

pre-reviews you gotta like hey I'm headed to their thing if I don't follow up you know what the worst thing possible and you know it was trash Apple used to have this thing

because they knew they were going to be eventually obligated by the government to release everything yeah and so they put on their website go hey we have this thing

up here right now that says we will not spy on anyone's stuff if you don't see this on the website anymore yeah you go ahead and know what that means we spy yeah yeah if they're like they're not gonna let us tell you so we're gonna take this down wow today's episode of you be tripping is brought to you by butcher box guys who likes meat i know i do and butcher box gives you meat you can't beat i know what a change meat you can't beat by butcher box they deliver it right to your door in a freeze container i've gotten them i've eaten them it's delicious uh uh crate free organic chicken uh uh free range beef uh uh crate free pork but the best of all is lamb.

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How many days did you stay in the safari for? We stayed in the safari for two days. No, it'll be two days, one night. One night, wow. Yeah. And that's all you need, man. And I know it's expensive because we were the only, I never asked the price, but we were the only young people and people of color there.

And everybody there was like old and this was on their bucket list. And they kept going, how'd you find out about this? How'd you get here? And I'm like, oh, I'm a comic. And they're like, wow, what type of jokes did you tell? And they're doing that type of shit. And I'm like, oh, this must be expensive. Yeah.

Oh, right. I bet. Motherfuckers were telling us that they saved for years. No. They were like, oh, you know, we saved up for three years. Then the pandemic happened. So it gave us some time to save up some more money because they go from one safari to the

next safari because it comes with transportation and everything it must be if they're ensuring that no one else is around they must be like because i bet with conservation maybe i'm wrong but i bet the conservation like we got to limit the amount of people here yeah so if we're going to limit it let's charge hella i think i think it was at least two grand and up wow i'm thinking per night two grand and up for that many we were it was there were biologists there was a biologist with me biology biology biologist some dude who uh just graduated med school and was starting uh to work at a hospital and this was like a solo trip for himself uh a married couple that were trying to get their photos in National Geographic and stuff. So people went out there with like, this is the only shot I get.

And we're having fun. We're grateful, but we're like, God damn, we're just here to see some shit. Food was great. They fed you breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And it was good. It wasn't like I was expecting like prepackaged sandwiches and shit. For sure. They were making crepes.

They were making like food food. Wow. Like for one, I think first day dinner was like, I was eating meat over there too. So I was like happy. Because like I don't eat meat when I'm here. I just eat fish and stuff. You went for it there? I went for it there.

They had lamb. They had all sorts of shit. Why? Why'd you go for it there? Because those countries don't have the money to really fuck up the food there. They don't have the, you get what I'm saying? We found it. It's their farm raise.

They know it. They raise it, and they're going to kill it. Yeah, I've seen chickens in third world countries. Small as shit. They know it. They raise it, and they're going to kill it. Yeah, I've seen chickens in third-world countries, and they're small. Small as shit. Yeah, that's right. So it's like, oh, there's nothing chemical in these, or they're doing bad. And I feel like if you pay attention to your body and you eat some food, you can kind of tell when something sits with you and don't sit right. Dude, the junk food in Scotland doesn't make you feel shitty.

And Americans hate hearing that shit. First place that ever. Because I had that joke about it. People was like, you don't like the way America does their food moves. Of course I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving.

I'm not leaving. I don't like traffic. I'm not going to move. What the fuck? I'm going to fucking stay. You can not like something? Yeah. And you have to leave?

Yeah, I'm going to chill they complain like an american yeah like you do imagine if like you're married to somebody she's like oh turn the fan on after you shit well you could just leave yeah like all right it's a bit much i just say turn the fan on i just want to complain it's fun that's american that's american we fought for that no other country's allowed to complain well um how far away was away was the safari from downtown Nairobi? Like three hours. Yeah, I think it was like three and a half hours. And that dude made it feel like a half hour.

Oh, that was that trip. Dude, that's so cool you went to fucking Nairobi. Man, best food I had over there, though? Yeah. Swahili food. Because Swahili food, the ingredients. Is Swahili a country or a people? So, the ingredients. What is Swahili? Is Swahili a country or a people? So Swahili.

Or is that the language? It's a language, but it's also like a culture and stuff. But I think Swahili is like probably one of the biggest languages spoken in most parts of Africa. I think like maybe like 23 parts of Africa or something like that. It's spoken. But even the food. I hope I'm saying it right. But even the food, I hope I'm doing it justice. Yeah, yeah.

We had Swahili food, which I don't want to say borrowed, but it's the same spices that you would get if you were eating Indian food, like cardamom, cumin, all those spices that they use in their dishes. It's also used in Swahili food. Really? And it was delicious. I had lamb, some slow roasted lamb with some rice and shit. They do a lot of these stews type things?

I did all of that. Wow. So it's like a different bowl? The samosas and shit were good. So that's African, huh? Yeah. Did they tell you anything about the difference between East African and and west african food and stuff no nobody really explained it i mean you'd have to go to both places yeah i would have to go to both so it was a lot of that

like individual dishes in different bowls and a lot of big overrides a lot of big things you can share but i'm a big dude so when i got the lamb and rice it it was shareable, but I ate it to myself. Like that? Yo, it was bigger than that. Really? Yeah. It was like the lamb was like on its own thing down there. It was like that. Wow. That shit was so good.

You mix the lamb, man. What is that, like a dark sauce? It's just whatever sauce they, I don't know what it's called. It's just the gravy of the lamb. Damn. I ate lamb every day. Really? Every day. The lamb is the best meat. It's the- really every day lamb is the best meat it's the

by far it's the best meat it's soft and you still get the satisfaction of eating like a dark meat like a red yeah like a beef but it's not gonna stick with you right and it's just like it's just so fucking good it's the most flavorful meat from my moons i mean that's like there's rats there but it's like it's so good no do i took my there's rats there, but it's so good. Do you know I took my friend Red Band there? Yeah. And he was visiting New York. Yeah. And I think I was visiting too, actually.

And we were like, oh, I know a good place to eat. Yeah. I used to always go to the cellar when I was visiting to get that. So we went there. He was like, what should I get? I'm like, let's get a falafel. He ate it. He was like, what the?

This is so fucking good, man. So delicious. And then he goes, I can get another one. Yeah. And I was like, oh, well, if we can get another one, I'll tell you what, let's try shawarma this time. And he goes, well, I don't know, man. That fucking falafel was the best thing I've ever had. And then he had the shawarma.

He's like, why didn't we get this the first time? It's delicious. It's so good. It's like, what about that meat that looked like a band-aid when they fucking scrape it off? But it's so delicious. Yeah, but if you get like a beef shawarma, you're like, okay. It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same.

The first time I even had lamb was in New York. Same thing. Eating halal and stuff. So it's big lamb. Wow. I had a lot of lamb. Oh, that's a good question too. I ate everything I could.

I had lamb. I had steak. I had chicken. What about desserts? Desserts? I didn't really go in on the desserts. Okay. But we did go to the mall where they had this gelato, and it was amazing.

The mall? I think I got a fucking video of the mall. It looked like the Grove in LA. Did you have this big white ball thing? What? Oh, I think that's foo-foo. I didn't do it. I bitched out.

Foo-foo? Yeah, I think it's like foo-foo or something. What's foo-foo? I didn't do it. I bitched out. Foo-foo? Yeah, I think it's like foo-foo or something. It's just like a ball, and it's like, I don't want to say it's like rice or whatever.

It's just some sort of starch, and you eat it with your hand with the rest of those things. So it's like a replacement of a rice and a potato, and you just take a piece, and you can put your meat on it or whatever, and then pop it in your mouth. I didn't do that. I was about to the very last day. Yeah. But I don't know. My wife was like, you touch so much shit with your hands. I mean, that's where it's like, can I just get some hand sanitizer?

Is it a lot of eating with hands? I would have thought it was, but a lot of people ate with like knives or forks and shit. So tell me this, because my first day in Shanghai, I went to a place across the street from the hotel, and I got something to eat. And it was the first time I noticed they don't debone the chicken out there. Oh, no. They just cleaver it off. Yeah. And so I'm looking at it.

I got these chops. I was like, what the fuck? And the guy comes by and just like, here's a fork. And I'm like, no, I did not know how to use these. I just didn't know about the fucking chicken. Wait, you never been to a Peruvian spot? Where they leave the bones in? Yeah.

With little bite-sized pieces? Yeah. I guess not. Man, I'll put you on a Peruvian spot if you go to Queens. Yeah. Okay. Man. What about this?

They have the big fried fish like that? I didn't do it, but they had it. That seems to me like African food. But that's what I eat on a daily basis. When I'm home and stuff, if I go to Colombian restaurants, it's the fried whole fish over rice. So I wanted to try something different. Do they have these chicks with fucking burkas? What's the religion there?

It's a bunch of mixed shit. It's a bunch of mixed shit. It's a bunch of everybody. I think, I would say I didn't see a lot of garbed up people there. You did not. Because I think that they had a problem with Islamic radicalization over there. Because there's a lot of security and stuff. There is. Yeah.

And that comic also made a joke about being Somalian and how the joke was about him being Somalian and people being afraid of COVID, but the original fear was Somalians because their history with terrorism. Well, like Islamic

terrorism because most Somalians are Muslim. Yeah. So I got that joke and they explained they explained it to me a little bit more it's like yeah man it's like we get religious crimes over here people blow themselves up and shit but every building you went into yeah that was worth going into you had to go through security so they scanned your car make sure those bombs in your car open the door got a dog this indonesia too they go underneath your car, make sure there aren't those bombs in your car, open the door, got a dog that snitched your car. Indonesia too, they go underneath your car.

Yeah. Wow. And you're like, what are they doing? And you're like, you don't deal with what we've been dealing with. Yeah. But I didn't get, no one was complaining. I was ready to complain. They're American.

This is ridiculous. It's actually not. My aunt is dead. Yeah. But that's how they felt. They were like, nah, this is how you stay safe. They were like happily fucking let them walk through the metal detectors, let them get scanned down, and then we would go bowling. Wow.

We went bowling. Really? We went fucking bowling. That's first world. First world shit. And did they bowl with like the Rams heads? No, like right here. They actually have fun and live life over there, man.

Dude, one of my first weeks in Ecuador, we just went to a rooftop bar. It was a patio bar, like a beer garden. And I saw all these hip kids there. And I'm like, what did I think Ecuador was? Yo. Hold on. I thought I had the bowling thing. But basically, this is a passive video of me going past people's homes.

Because I'm like, this is what it looks like if you're in LA. Those are estates. Yeah. I'm like, if you're in la those are estates yeah i'm like if you're in la they have guards though huh they have guards and everything because like if you can own some property out there you can do whatever you want with it he's a gardener no they had guards they did yeah they had guards like if you own property like that you have a guard protect it yeah you gotta not because nobody gonna roll up on, but it's just like it's your property. Yeah, like the guy whose place we stayed at, his place was as big as that.

Just like L.A. Yeah, he had a big place like that, but he didn't have guards, but he had like you had to pull up, open the gate, close it, and then there's nothing but space. This motherfucker had mango trees. He had corn. He had banana trees. He had his own irrigation system. He had built a podcast studio a regular studio really he's just like yeah when you live out here you can do whatever you want

with your land because it's your land what's the cost of living and stuff like what when you did buy stuff like like what did you notice anything like oh in america this would cost more, same, less? Absolutely. It would definitely be more expensive in America. Like the reason we felt like we was balling, we went to dinner every day and would just order anything off the menu because the bill would be, they'd be like $40,000 and then you'll convert it and it'd be like $26 American. We were like, yes, we're going in. So we ordered everything.

Isn't it the best feeling? Isn't it the best feeling when you're like, oh. That was very little. That was very, very little. Like even like because we convert money so we don't have to keep swiping cards. We had so much money left over that we just was like, we would like just tip people big. Oh, really? Hey, thank you so much. And I'm like, really? Yeah, like really yeah we're gonna do with it and what are we converted back to not being

anything yeah like they don't give me change yeah they're gonna be like here you go here's two bucks wow so dude it's the best when you're like do you ever do a conversion you're like and you're like like one of you guys goes to pay right uh and then it's like how much was it and they're like, do you ever do a conversion? And you're like, one of you guys goes to pay, right? And then it's like, how much was it? And they're like, this. Like, wait, how much was that? And they're like, I think it was $9. Like, no, no, no. Do the math again.

And you're like, yeah, oh my God, it was $9 for a meal for both of us with drinks. Yo, that's what it was like the whole time. Damn. We went to go get massages two days straight. How much was a massage? They were like, for me and her, like $40 a piece. Not even $40 a piece. Maybe together

maybe like $60. For a nice one. I ain't never had a massage by black people ever and they did not disappoint. By black people, yeah. I've never had one either. It's Asians or whites. It's Asians or Russians. And these black ladies, they got down.

They put me to sleep. Really? Like both times. Get the bed as nice and warm. Serena Williams of massage paratherapist. I was like, one time, my wife woke me up. She was like, babe, get up. And I'm like, wait, what?

And she was like, yeah, you sleep for like five minutes. And I just couldn't let you sit here no more. And I heard them go let him sleep he's fine oh yeah like for real what was hospitality like everybody was nice man nobody nobody gave you an attitude what you expect well if you're staying in resorts also yeah you expect that yeah but even when we would go out in the street and just in public just to go out to eat, you still got to deal with the regular people. True.

And they were friendly. You're like, hey, what's up? And they're like, hey, how are you? They weren't engaged in a conversation. But if you said, hey, they say, hey. And they're not mean mugging you and shit. Which you expect that. You're taught to be on guard all the time when you go to Africa.

Right. You went and everybody's like, hey, man, how you doing? No one's, like, making me feel uncomfortable. I went to the gym. There was some old dudes came to the gym. Like, was it crimey? No. Not really.

I didn't feel crimey at all. What were you going to say? No, I was in the gym, and, like, I've traveled a bunch of times. And you go to hotel gyms, and usually an old person stick their head in, and then they kind of, like, hey, what's up this motherfucker was having most hey where you from oh cool blah blah just like chatting it up with me because he felt no fear oh wow and i seen like so many definite ethnicities there like you seen like like i would see like indian people walking around with their family but even like i'm talking about like they would have like a black son

What do you mean like a Indian mom holding the hands of like a black kid? You're like oh Yeah, what was like integration like that? It's everybody's black right everybody's black, but you still see white people over there in relationships What like other people What do you mean? Meaning like, I can explain it more. When I came there, when I did the show, you seen black people, you seen white people, but you also seen them together dating. Right.

And you would think Africa, They'd be like, nah. Yeah, they'd be like, get that shit. They'd slap your hand. But they'd be like, what, get that, you better break that up. It's like, no, people were happy with each other and nobody was like,

like, oh, all the good black men that took in our, this and that. It was like, they were just enjoying life and flourishing.

Like they weren't even thinking about it. Yeah, they weren't even thinking about it and I seen that at all the shows. Wow. Like even the first show I did was like an open mic. When I say open mic,

this was still a show because he had me there. He was like, hey, I want you to see an open mic and i say open mic this was still a show because he had me there he was like hey i want you to see our open mic scene so you know what to expect it's like in real shows right it's a new comedy scene right new comedy i've done a few of the new comedy scenes yeah and it's interesting because they're like whoa american yeah and so half the crowd is comedians yeah and then what they do is like open mic so anyone in town's like really like open mic on thursdays if you want to come and at the end of the american show like by the way you regularize if you ever wanted to try this first tuesday of every month you're welcome to come and

then that becomes the scene there's only like 20 of them no they had i think the list of comics was 20 well i think there's a list of 20 comics but the majority of people there were still audience members yeah and they were young and they were experienced because a lot of people after the show, they were like, oh, you're from New York. And I'm like, I'm not from New York. I live in New York, but I'm from Philly. They were like, oh, I used to live in New York. I went to school here and this, that, and the third, but they're still from Africa. And they were like, yeah, I traveled.

I went around, but I came back here. Isn't that a weird thing when you're like, I've been to New York. You've been to New York? And you're running a hotel in the middle of nowhere and fucking. Because they don't see what we see. They go, we're thriving. Because New York is different. New York and L.A. and Chicago and those cities are different from any other place in America.

Most other places in America function like Africa. They barely have meaning like you know how many places i've been that their downtown isn't really finished all the way you know what i mean yeah their downtown is still under development there they they finally got the chick-fil-a like they're still developing yeah so you go to africa and you see that and you see that some of these places like africa or nairobi was still more developed than some of these places in america you go what the fuck i'm gonna lie to yeah interesting like i've been like you do college gigs and shit and you dry you never did you don't do cognitive

too dirty oh i wanted you not though you just gotta tell you just gotta tell your agent what you're willing to do and not do because i'm not a clean comic true but i tell my agent what you're willing to do and not do. Because I'm not a clean comic. But I tell my agent, I'm like, hey, I don't really want to do schools where I have to. Like Notre Dame. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not going to do that school because there's a comic that exists who does that better than me. So I'm not

going to put myself in a position to fucking look stupid for some money when there's somebody who will fucking flourish in a situation. So what is it? Just don't curse, but say whatever you whatever you want yeah and i pretty much do that my tell my college agent that and she's fine with that and i understand that yeah i won't get all the gigs but at least the ones i get you'll be right for you i can fucking say what i want but i brought out that to say is like college gigs have showed me that some of these places are just like i've been in college gigs where you gotta drive on a dirt road

for maybe like an hour, and you're like, where the fuck are we? There's no cell phone service. You're in Africa. Africa, USA. These kids are like, we got a pizza shop. We got our first pizza shop in the neighborhood. And you're like, why'd you pay for the school?

How'd you find out about this shit? Dude, my buddy lives in, and she's a Rhodes Scholar. She lives in like Western Massachusetts, I think. And I was like, what's the food scene like? She goes, you know, we had a Chinese place, but then that closed. And so now we don't have any Chinese place. And you're like, what is your life?

And they tell you Africa don't got shit. Yeah. So Uber Eats, my dog. Let's just say this. Yeah. It was like fucking. They had that? Yeah. It was like,. They had that? Yeah.

It was like, I think it was like Sunday night. Love it. Me and my wife, we were like, yo, we don't feel like leaving. We don't feel like going anywhere. The person who booked this, he was like, yo, you want to hang out? We was like, yo, we're tired. And we just want to chill. My wife ordered Uber Eats from an Italian restaurant, like a pizza.

No. And it was good. And we're like, are we in Africa? How the fuck can I get uber eats in africa i'm an italian restaurant damn flatbread italian pizza delicious ain't no italians do you have any weird fusion stuff where it's like ethiopian flatbread with pizza i wish i would have tried it yeah for sure right an african flat wish. I would have tried that. Yeah, for sure, right? An African flatbread pizza. I would have definitely tried it. You ever have matzah pizza?

No, I would try that. You know what matzah is? Yeah. The Jewish, whatever. Yeah, so we used to do that. Put sauce and then the cheese on it and stick it in the oven. So you can, I would do that.

Yeah, if you did it like high and fast, it stayed crispy. Okay, because that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, matzah, like when it's- You can't soak it through. You got to go easy on the sauce. Yeah, because I'm like, that shit is like- Yeah, yeah. I would try that. Yeah. If there was a'm like, matzah, like when it's- But you can't soak it through. You got to go easy on the sauce. Yeah, because I'm like, that shit is like-

Yeah, yeah. I would try that. Yeah. If there was a place that did it, I would definitely try it. Damn. Have you had any- When did you get back? I got back-

I was there for 10 days, so I got back July 30th. And that's their winter though, huh? Yeah. Right. So that's why it's cold. It was fucking cold. And it was even colder in the safari. They gave you a poncho that was lined.

And I'm like, no, I don't need it. And by the time we took off on that goddamn Jeep, I was wrapped up in that jungle. Because it got cold. Yeah. Man. Fuck. Did you see anything there? The one with Sodor we like figured this out like when you go traveling sometimes it like helps um point out

something from where you're from from like america like oh like we do that differently and then you like finally notice the thing you do here i'm trying to think i think i had a lot of those moments but you only notice them within the moment you're gone you don't, now that I'm gone, I can't even really pinpoint anything. The first one I saw, somebody was like, when you land at the airport, sometimes you notice the fonts on the signs are different than the fonts you have, and it strikes you like, I'm in a new place. Yeah.

You know? Well, yeah. No, the airport definitely lets you know that you're in a different place because the airport was, it looked like a big medical tent. Oh yeah? Because everything, like it's going to last, but it's all tarp and shit that can be collapsed

and ready to be set up. So it was never any like structural building like a JFK or anything. Where you land outside and take the stairs down? You land outside, then you walk to inside and go through customs and shit. So you go like on the tarmac and then yeah yeah yeah that was the thing now i was like all right i'm in a different country yeah we don't really do that anymore here it's always you go in right into the gate you don't see outside yeah it is i know i'm gonna

be on a shitty flight if i have to do that if i gotta walk to my plane at least in my case i know i ain't walking to a private jet i'm walking to our fucking shitty plane yeah that I can't really fit on I went to French Polynesia it's like that you get out you're like oh I'm outside already outside yeah you're like I'm already here yeah I I kind of like that's nice you step out you're like even though it's the airport you know and it's still like the air is different yeah usually it's you have to like go through the customs and then when the door opens to where the cabs are

that's when it usually hits me like whoa I'm here I'm somewhere not even that as soon as we got out it was still there it was still like the cab area

but we were met by the dude so as soon as we got off the plane and got through customs he had a sign he took us straight to the car and then we went to eat

not at the place I showed you we went to a coffee house first yeah that looked like a coffee bean oh yeah kenyan coffee is huge right oh but they had a chain place yeah but it was their chain right and it was dope and i'm like wow yeah this i'm like this is a lie like and i'm asking them those things, don't they seem like this is just like Pete's Coffee or it's like so similar where you could see like a guy just designed it to look like the South American one is all red. I forget what his name is. It's like some guy's name. I don't know.

And it's like that's their Starbucks or coffee. It's a similar thing. It wasn't a Starbucks. It was definitely like a cafe that had really good food. They served everything from burgers to you can get a nice lamb chop if you want. Stuff like that. We're just sitting there like, get the fuck out of here. This is y'all chain?

Do what? Yeah, coffee chain. Best coffee chain. Java House? Let me see it. I can tell by the sign. Uh, no. Doesn't matter.

Do you drink coffee usually? Yeah, I fuck up some coffee. So was the coffee good? Because Kenyan coffee is good coffee, right? It was good coffee. That's known as a good. It was really good coffee, but I drank the tea more because the tea was just so subtle and good. Really? more because the tea was just so subtle and good really because you know like if you drink like

uh uh uh like a lipton green tea or whatever yeah like you can taste like it has like a chemical taste almost this one was like smooth and it wasn't overpowering or anything and then if you put like honey a little bit of lemon in it it was perfect oh i see where it is but you got to drink it hot they make that shit super fucking hot. It's like right around here. Okay. It'd be like right around there. Oh, Mombasa. Yeah, that's what I said.

So it's like right here. It's right near Mombasa. Is it near this like Victoria Lake, giant lake there? Probably. That's right on the edge of it. Yeah. So it cuts in right there. Because when we was driving to the airport, you seen an exit to go to Mombasa.

Okay. Yeah. Damn interesting. Oh, man. Recomm oh man recommend recommend hell yeah yeah i bet i yes that fucking scenery you showed me was so fucking tits man i'm trying to see if i have any more i tried to stay off my phone that's smart yeah i appreciate you going on there just for this i tried while you were there you mean yeah when i was in paris when i was like take pictures i'm like i'm actually trying not to yeah i i'm like man i'm not trying to be glued to my phone i was trying to really here here's the show just so i can let you know like this was the theater that they were dealing with yeah i got a real place like yeah real place and you go in there real place hold on wait until like uh show it so you can see me walk

out and show the audience like dude the dude packed it out and you see white people in that audience you see agents in that audience some masks too you see everybody in that goddamn audience oh this guy's in the back of his hands straight up in the air he's so stoked people were there to have fun and here's the thing that made it even dumber. What were the crowds like? The crowds were fun, and I don't really get nervous. This guy's standing up, bro. Yo, they're having fun. They're standing up before you even got on. They loved the show.

They had a good time. That's for it, because it's the end of the show. So they're clapping for everybody. But here's the thing that made me a little nervous. When you hear comics speaking like their their language or just their dialect and getting laughs and i'm like man you're like can i relate i'm like they are not gonna get me and they got it oh yeah and they got it even the first night we have lucky as a stand-up and hollywood is filmed quite often yeah the whole world in American dialect. So there might not

be their dialect, but they've heard ours. But we've never heard Bolivian. We rarely ever get that accent. I don't even know what it sounds like. Yeah, me neither. But I'm saying, you make a New York subway joke, people are like, I've never been to the Western Hemisphere. But I know what a New York subway is.

Dude, even though I didn't speak whatever, because on the show show, everybody spoke English. But some people's English were more clear than others. But on the open mic, there were some people who you can be like, oh, you're using Somali slang or whatever. Or maybe Arabic slang. And they get it. And I'm sitting here like, I don't know what he's saying, but he's killing it. Yeah, like, fuck.

And I'm like, fuck. I don't know if they're going to understand me. And I went up there. Hey, what's up? All right, fuck it. And you just jump in. And then they get it. Well, also, nobody there is as experienced a comic as you are.

Exactly. I had to rely on that. By far, though. Not even like a couple years. Like five-fold. Yeah. So you just switch them shit. Like literally, I was like, all right, I think I'm going to just have to speak more clearly,

slow down a little bit. Yeah, yeah. It's an accent. But I'll have to do these jokes. And they got the stuff about my parents and, like, growing up and all that stuff. And I made a reference. The orphan stuff was like, we are all orphans. They don't have foster care there.

What do they do? They just fucking live with their dogs? Because somebody else's family member is going to step in. They're like, yo, we got home. We got, like, they call it, like, it would be equivalent to an orphanage or whatever. But it takes a lot for your kid to end up there. Wow. They're like, yeah, you know, there's people who didn't grow up with their parents, but

their aunt took them in or a person down the street took them in. So when I talk about foster care, they're like, God, they react the same way Americans Why didn't someone take you? They were shooting too. And I was like, damn. Good point. I got some talking to do when I get home. Like, y'all motherf friends ain't got nobody?

And Samantha. What the fuck? Hey, what's up? Oh, I was busy on the town. I was dating. So when I saw in that crowd that you did not see a lot of those bright African, the garb. No. I'm glad.

That you see here a lot. A little Africa here, a little Africa in Paris. It was like a lot of that. But it seemed like a lot of just jeans and t-shirts. Because it's not that.'s not that right and and like and it was funny because me like not me i didn't care but my wife and the other comics wife they wanted to go to a a market yeah which is like the the market where you go when you buy open air yeah open air market because they're like we're going to get a lot of authentic shit.

And we got like some, I think they call them like chukas and stuff, which are basically like shawls, like big ass blankets and shit. And I liked it and it was warm. But like after we got our stuff, we were talking to the people who were from there and it was like, I'm like, oh, do you have any of these? I was like, no. I'm like, why?

I was like, because there's junk. We're not buying junk. We understand that you're just buying knickknacks from a flea market and we're like shit it is a flea market it's the same shit as if i went to new jersey yeah imagine you're visiting here like i got a ruler yeah like yeah we don't need one of those a real american ruler so that's how they reacted oh and we were like oh we were like, oh, y'all don't wear, like, their garbs or nothing? It was like, nah. They had on, like, Nike and stuff like that. That's so funny.

And they're like, yo, man, we're your age. We were raised how you were raised. So the same things you want, we want. Were you disappointed in all that? Because isn't there some desire, like, I want them to be in grass skirts and be that thing. But they're like, yeah, but we found out about T-shirts. Yeah. And they're quite comfortable.

And we're going to wear them too. You want to hear your roots in culture. But you got to remember that those things change as time progresses and technology does. That not everybody going to keep praying to a pig and wearing fucking, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like even the Maasai, like we realized it was a costume. Like, I don't know. You see the guy.

He has his thing. The guy who was fixing his food. He wore his Maasai shit. But we befriended him on WhatsApp. And this motherfucker, he got his set up like he got a dating profile. He got a nice suit and shit. Damn. He was like, oh, wow.

Like, he really just put on that costume to make us feel like we're getting, like. The experience. The experience. But to him, he's just like, I i'm going to work y'all want to see some imagine someone coming to visit america i'm like i'll find a cowboy hat i'll put it on i guess that's what they want y'all yeah yeah you imagine coming i was like why is no one wearing jeans yeah like because it's not the old west like what that's why those people and that's why like some hood new yorker still exists to let people know they're like because i don't think i know so many people from new york who don't do that like bing bong

what's up this shit they're just normal people yeah yeah so i'm like oh they existed preserved black people just shake hands there's always a thing move i always try to make it complicated that's smart i did make it uncomfortable yeah make people uncomfortable uh dude um thank you so much fun this was sick this was cool i want to go to nairobi now yeah yeah please go yeah please go you'll have a great time you'll feel welcomed and i heard as a club we didn't go to the club but we heard there's a club that just the last white people in to make them comfortable he was yeah he wanted to he wanted to take us there he's like yo y'all want to go to this club i was like i'm not really a clubber he's like no but it's like weird like the line for black people is like around the corner and then there's a line for white people but they don't say it's for white people but it's the line for white people and they get in

because they think they're gonna spend money and i'm like this is africa damn this is your place and y'all still let that go on what's uh what's that anything what's next on your list what's in your mind that you like want to go to we'll wrap it up now i want to go to i want to go to singapore singapore i want to go to singapore yeah yeah i don't know why i just seen it pop up so much on my Instagram. You don't have to know why. Sometimes it's just gnawing on your brain for no reason. I want to go to Singapore. Yeah.

And I want to- Talk to Ronnie about it. Ronnie Chang? Yeah. I think he used to live there. Okay. I'll definitely talk to Ronnie about it. He's a cool dude. Yeah, for sure.

Ronnie's the best. I'll definitely talk to him about it. I want to go to Singapore. I want to go to South Africa, Johannesburg. I uh south africa johannesburg um i'm about to say cape may that's so funny cape may a cape town yeah and that's it right now right yeah yeah yeah that's that's doable yeah there's a gig in singapore for sure yeah yeah you can you can do singapore they will actually usually want to root it with like somewhere around here right yeah they usually want to root it with a Chinese tour or like Philippines.

See, I've only been to China, but when I was in China, we've only went to Suzhou, Hangzhou, Singapore, Beijing. Yeah. And maybe one other place I'm forgetting. Oh, yeah. Anyway. I'm going to get back over there, man. You been to Tibet, you said? No, never been to Tibet.

I went to a fucking Southeast Asia here. I was kind of, I was all here. Dude. Papa New Guinea, we used to eat Timors around here. Nah, I'm being honest. That shit was inspiring. When you told us, when I found out you stopped doing a show in the middle of like you left your show in the middle of production just to go on a fucking trip by yourself with nothing but a flip phone i was like

me and chloe you know chloe yeah me and chloe was like how the fuck do we do that how do we do that how do we do that shit because you feel so connected that you're just like you're gonna miss out on some opportunities and whatever. But that was the most like, I don't give a fuck. I create my own opportunities. Duncan said it once. He goes like, so they're like pressuring me like, got to go right back into filming again.

And I'm like, I want to go do this trip. And they don't. He goes, so these people that you work with, they're telling you not to see the world. And you, do you want to see the world? No. I'm like, I want to see the world. So you want to see the world.

And they're telling you, you can't go see the world. Because of work. So like you want to see the world? No. I'm like, I want to see the world. So you want to see the world and they're telling you you can't go see the world. Because of work. So like, I'm like, oh yeah, you're right. You don't have to say it all the way out.

Yeah, you're right. Dude, you did that. I was like, fuck, I have to figure that out. That's cool.

You went to China after that. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I got to figure it out. But I still have my phone with me. I still load my phone. Sure.

Audition tape. Sure. Oh really? Yeah, I still, even in Africarica i still fucking my marriage i was gone for so long i was like what if something comes up like then you just say no yeah like what if something you want to do i don't want to hear about it i'm gone i'm still at home man i was in africa still doing self tapes that's hilarious can you hear me okay yeah Service a little bad. Do it over again. Like an idiot. All right. Monroe Martin, where are you?

On whatever. Instagram? At Monroe. Monroe Martin, I, I, I. On Facebook. That's the third. Instagram. TikTok and all that stuff.

That's the third. Monroe Martin, I, I, I. Yeah. On everyone. And then MonroeMartinComedy.com is the website. Great. Dude, funny comic. Thank you.

Now a fucking traveler. Thanks for doing it. I'll have you back another time to talk about another place. Absolutely. Damn, what an episode. That's it, everybody. I hope you liked it. God damn.

Man, I want to be out there in the Sahara so fucking bad. I mean, if you're not subscribed to this podcast on YouTube, you should be. It's at UBTrippinPod on YouTube. And that's when the guests show videos, pictures of their own trips. It's at UB Trip and Pod on YouTube. And that's when the guests show videos, pictures of their own trips. And, man, the picture, the video that Monroe was showing me about that whole sunset in the Sahara or sunrise. It's just wild.

What a fucking trip. What a fucking trip. What a cool thing stand-up comedy does, too, that will allow you access to where all these rich old men are. And then suddenly you have access. What was I going to say? Don't forget, get tickets for my stand-up comedy special in Washington, D.C. April 26th and 27th. The first show on the 27th is sold out. So hurry up and get tickets for the late show

or the Friday show on the 26th. It's at the Capitol Turnaround. Tickets are at arishafir.com for everything. Today's episode is a production of your Mom's House Network Productions. It is edited by Alan Caffey, expertly, and starring Monroe

Martin, who you should check out on social media right now. He's fucking great. Really, a really funny, unique, original comic. And he has a set that he recorded there that you should check out too. I've got some other stuff on the road coming up. Halifax, we added a second show because the first show sold out on April 11th. Ottawa sold out.

Rutland, Vermont is still selling on the 13th. Huntington, New York, Long Island on the 14th is still selling. 420 in Austin. And if there's anybody in Austin the day before, you think I should legitimately get on this podcast, maybe I'll do one in front of the Capitol with somebody. And then my special, Washington, D.C., the Capitol turnaround, April 26th and 27th. Get tickets for all shows at rhfear.com. And Australia, May 17th and 18th in Melbourne, May 24th in Adelaide, 25th in Canberra, Brisbane on May 31st and June 1st in Sydney, Australia.

I'm excited for that one. And then that's it. And then I'm on the road till 2025. So catch me while you can. This tour is about over. Next week, you can look forward to an interesting episode. It's Corinne and Christina Hutchinson from the Guys We Fuck podcast came in to tell me about Tulum, Mexico. They went during COVID lockdown, the very beginning.

It was locked down while they were there. Everybody took off. It's a very unique, interesting story. A lot of these are not going to be stuff you can recreate. A lot of these episodes are going to be stuff that's only time and place. Like Yoshi about Kabul. That Kabul is dead.

That Kabul is dead now. But Yoshi was there at a certain time, and I want to get that. And these girls, Corinne and Christina, women, I would say, were in Tulum when there was like, it's a tourist mecca, and there was like 20 people there, total.

It was wild. It was real cool. So tune tourist mecca. And there was like 20 people there, total. It was wild. It was real cool. So tune in next week. Don't forget to subscribe on YouTube, at UBTrippinPod, or on socials, at UBTrippinPod. And wherever you listen to your episodes, subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, at UBTrippin for the listenerships. And that's it, you guys. I hope you're enjoying these. I really do.

I'm having a lot of fucking fun recording guys. I hope you're enjoying these. I really do. I'm having a lot of fucking fun recording them. I tell you that much. Until next week, I don't know, fucking Kenyan. Goddamn, I got to learn some fucking goodbyes in these languages. It'll be like keep tripping or get out to the world, see the world, but in the different languages. Anyway, until I figure that out. Guys, until next week.