You Be Trippin' - Norway w/ Van Neistat | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

Come watch a live You Be Trippin' at the Brooklyn Improv! Tickets here: https://www.ticketweb.com/event/ari-shaffirs-you-be-trippin-brooklyn-improv-the-main-room-tickets/14930953 The End is here! Ari's new storytelling show is $5.99 per episode at https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ There's a total of 7 episodes for you to enjoy! Follow Van on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/vanneistat/ And on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/@vanneistat SPONSORS: -Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com/trippin On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Ari Shaffir interviews Van Neistat. From one adventurer to another, Van shares with Ari his experience leaving America for the first and how that changed his life forever. Van starts off with his first experience traveling abroad to Norway. The rich culture, delicious food, and beautiful women captivate Van immediately. From there he describes some of the best impromptu adventures he's had in Mexico, Tanzania, and America. This one really makes you want to get out there and do the dang thing! Sees senere! You Be Trippin' Ep. 120 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:27 - Van Goes to Norway 00:09:59 - America is the Best..but 00:26:33 - Traveling Cherry Popped 00:38:15 - Oslo 00:40:54 - Clean Food 00:45:29 - America is the Worst Place to Travel 00:48:50 - Strong Culture & 2008 Crisis 00:55:13 - Ari's Travel Origin Story 01:01:01 - Impromptu Adventures 01:13:57 - Mexico 01:35:35 - Catfish Origin Story 01:44:24 - Off-roading Adventure 01:53:35 - LA Fires 02:26:11 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I did one with Ari Maddie, and it was about Canada, but we kept doing like about work visas everywhere. And I was like, new topic, new topic, work visas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like the Russian band or whatever. Yeah, Estonian. More or less Russian. He might be a Russian spy. All right, let's start.

Let's do one. We can do it in Norway. All right. Let's go. Thank you for coming, by the way. Braving the heat. Are you rolling? Yeah, we can start rolling, whatever.

But I'll do an intro. Okay, good. Where you've been and where you're going? This is Ari's travel show. Yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's you. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to UB.Trip, and it's a travel podcast. Me and a guest every week, we go to a new place. It's just like, mostly everything is wrong. We don't know anything about the places we just kind of like enjoy it. It's the only podcast that is staunchly committed to lighting cigars by matches and not lighters. If you want to connect with the old ways, it's matches only. My guest today is Van Nuysat, an engineer. slash, I don't know.

I'm calling you an engineer you're not, but maybe you are. I'm a YouTuber. I'm like a hobbyist. I'm like, I don't know, I aspire to be the male Martha Stewart or the male or Mr. Rogers for adults. That's my, that's what I want them to say about me. My buddy Toby, who built the studio with me, turned me on to you. And he was like, oh, if you're looking for travel, like, he just makes things.

He just gets stuff done. That's my gift. Yeah. That's the gift I've been able to exploit and have a like, these lives that we live that this is the dream of millions and millions. And our job is to allow these people to live vicariously through us. Yeah. And so my thing is, you're funny, but my thing is I can kind of fix anything except for computers.

You can fix anything. Almost. Except for computers or screens or devices or any of that. And women's hearts. Yeah. No, forget it. Yeah, I can break those. but it's just reminding me right now of this is unrelated but michelle wolf had a joke in one of her

specials at the scurble that uh all these guys are like women just need a good dick all these good she's making fun of us but uh but then later i was like michel actually i i had a fight with a chick once and i i gave her some good dick and it was the fight was over i think i actually do need it i think it actually goes a long way but where do we want to talk about today all right I want to talk about the thing that started it all for me, Norway. Okay, perfect. You are a traveler. Yes.

You like going on plate. I mean, even getting coffee, we're talking about fucking getting held up by gunpoint in Mexico. Yes. And this is your origin story. This is my origin story. Okay. So nobody in my immediate family or I don't even think extended family, neither sets of grandparents, had been out of the country.

Neither of my parents. Wow. And so I went to college in Virginia, and I grew up in Connecticut, but I was going to college in Virginia. And I had a girlfriend whose father was Norwegian. So she was half Norwegian. And she had grown up maybe until like sixth grade or eighth grade or something. She had grown up in Norway. Oh, cool.

And so she spoke Norwegian. She kind of looked Norwegian. Tall and light blonde. And so, and she was experienced with Europe. So we got your rail passes and we flew to Paris and then took a train up to Norway. What's the ural pass? I've never gotten one. So it's like back then it was a piece of paper.

It kind of looks like a boarding pass for a plane. And then it was any 10 days of traveling. Yeah. There were two kinds. There was an unlimited in 30 days. And then there was like any 10 days over the course of 60 days. or something like this. Any 10 days.

And you would fill in with a pen. You would fill in the date you were traveling. So you could do 24 hours. But you could take a, you could, if you were on the 10th, like let's say you were leaving on the 10th, you write 10, but you make the O a little small. And then you draw another O on top of it. And then you get the 18th too. Oh, wow.

Because it was, this is the analog world. And this is obviously, this is before computer, I mean, not before computers, but before the, yes, the internet was around. This is 96. being used. But it was like the internet then was like augmented reality is now. Like those dorks were using it back then. That's so great.

I love too. There's just a scam of like, hey, by the way, all zero should be eights just when you're writing it. It's just like what's known among what backpackers or wherever you were going. Mine didn't go to my Euro pass didn't go to, I think we were going to Portugal. And I didn't have that country on my Euro pass.

And so we did this whole scam where, I buried the Ural pass in my backpack. We were on a train. The conductor says, can I see all your tickets? And ahead of time, I arranged it so that my friend, while I was handing him my pass, would ask the guy a question.

Like, is there a bathroom, or is this nonstop? And I handed it to him. And the guy just took it, punched it and handed it back to me. It worked. And I didn't have the, I didn't have Portugal on there. But there was tons and tons and tons of,

the whole world. worked like that back then. It's so great to outrage with a friend like you need to distract him. Yeah. It was like a dumb movie. You're so nervous that he's going to look and then when it works,

because it would have been 100 bucks which is, you know, five, six nights stay in hostels. You were staying, you were hostling? Hostling and then with the girl, it was like her relatives all lived in Norway which was fantastic because Norway was super expensive. Yeah. And there was one of the,

You started in Paris, went down to Portugal? No, we started in Paris. We went up to Norway, like took a night train. Damn. But the Portugal was a different trip, but it all kind of blends into one. Yeah. But there was another thing. Okay, so there was no, there was no internet, really.

There were no phones. Yeah. And then there was one other thing that made it, like, that was the old man analog world. I can't remember what it was. don't remember whatever but okay was it pre-e-u that's what it was pre-eu no euro so every little country you crossed was all different and on the trains if the train was going from france to norway they took all the currencies they took the dutch gilder they took the brussels whatever the fuck frank or whatever that was, the French Frank.

They took the Danish Croner. Yeah. And the, the, I was in, I was also a separate trip, but I was in, my brother, Casey and I were in Paris, the day they switched to the Euro. So it was Franks the day before. And then it was the Euro that day. We were there that day.

It was like New Year's 2012 meaning. What did you do? What do you do with them? What do you do with them? Was you worthless? There was a layover. There was a, I think there was like, there's got to be. There was like an overlap.

There had to be. Yeah. Or it would be like mayhem. But there were people in vests teaching you how to use it. And for us, it was easier than the francs because the francs to the dollar, but it was like one euro to the one dollar. So we all knew. Yeah. And I remember giving, you know how you give someone like, you give someone like a five, if it's $6,

you give someone a 10 and a one and they give you five back. Yeah. I was doing that at the like subway booth. And the lady just filled the little chamber with change. I was like, oh, she doesn't know how to do that math yet. Oh, yeah. It's too new. Oh, that's so funny when you do do that thing and then they're just like,

yeah. I've seen scammers do that. Like people are really good. Have you seen this? Good at math. Yeah, I saw one long, long time. Harry Anderson, remember him? The magician?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he would have those things like, actually, give me the 20 back. I'll start, I'll give me a 10. Actually, no, let's reverse this. And you're just walking away with 50 bucks. Yeah, yeah. And that was like, yeah, yeah.

Not me. I would end up doing it the back end. You just give them too much money, getting nothing at it. Yeah. So you go with this super hot, tall, fucking Norwegian chick. And we go and I just remember, you know, you hear your whole life how America is the greatest country in the world, the greatest country in the world, greatest country in the world, everybody wants to live here, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But then there's kind of a caveat where they're like, well, except for Sweden and Denmark and Norway, you know. And I just remember everything was like rich people shit is here. The Scandinavian countries. Like the trains were immaculate. The doors, like when you went to someone's house, the way that the door would shut and the little bolt would go into the receiver, a click, perfect.

And there was the perfect amount of slap. You know, I lived in an old house growing up and you had to jam the lift it, pull. And it was just a series of that. The Norwegian or the Danish train had, every car had a little kitty section. It was like a little play pen with toys in it for the children. Our train, you go from Denmark,

you take a ferry to Sweden. Denmark, okay. The train pulls onto the ferry. There's tracks on the ferry. Pulls on and it's like a one hour ferry ride. There's like a casino on there, restaurants and the food is great.

It's ferry food and the food is great. Damn. Oh, you zoom right onto it. And it just pulls up like this. Yeah, it's like, yeah, see the tracks? Yeah, wow. Rail ferries. And then it just, and it comes right off.

It connects to another track. Yeah. They just lock the boat. Isn't that weird when you guys, like, where you were raised? We're about the same age. Yes. Where you are raised with this, like, this place is the best.

Yeah. And then you're like, which part? And you're like, I don't, I don't know. Yeah. It was kind of like when everyone was like, I'm on pro-Ukraine and like, where is it on a map? You're like, shut up, dude. You're ruining this.

What's their currency? Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just like what I like. Yeah. The thing about America is it's like, it's the best for people like us. It's the best. If you're an entrepreneur, if you're like a go-getter kind of guy, it's the, it is the best.

I mean, it's the best. You can do, you can imagine a weird job. I'm going to go take a, I'm going to bring a GoPro with me and go, is what I'm doing. Yeah, what you do. I'm going up to Montana with my son. Yeah. On this little mission. And that's what I'm going to.

I'm going to get paid and they're going to pay me as if I'm a doctor. You can do that here in America. But first of all, as you know, it's almost impossible to do these kinds of glamour jobs. It's almost impossible because of how hard it is, how much competition there is. If you're just a regular person, you know what? I want to have a family. I want to do a nine to five job. I want to go to school, get trained for the job. Fucking Scandinavia is your place. Because Norway is super, super rich because they have tons of oil. up there and their systems different so like you know i think people get mad about when they talk

about is america they like the idea that if you go like well it's not the best on this is one thing people go you think it sucks you're like no no no it's amazing it's just just our trains up one it's like is wilt or jordan better right and you're like well they're both great yeah you don't have to go well 10 100 points in a yeah exactly well 10 20 000 bitches you know it's like you can't take that away from That should go part of the Hall of Fame balloting. Jordan Bray had 30,000, but he was quiet about it. He was a different scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You hear that too short song? No. 19,999 bitches. Oh, no, I don't know. It's just something coming for you, wilt. Oh, wow. He's just like he's fucked, $19,999. Wow.

So, yeah, it really is. The way people, I'll give you America's best in national parks. I've never seen anywhere like it. Oh, that's true. Number one. I'm going to three. in a couple weeks, three or four. The system is wild, how, how, like, crazy is.

Can't be touched. Yeah. We also invented the National Park system. Yeah, we invented that. That's an American thing. What did everyone else have? Just places that had been pushed in yet? Everybody else is just like, do what you got?

Go ahead. You want to mine? Got to pay me. But, yeah, they do nice shit up there. And the thing is, um. Oil, that makes sense. I was coming from a little, like Irish town in Connecticut.

Like a kind of a, if you say Connecticut and people think Greenwich, but this was like where they build the submarines. It was in New London County, which is the poorest county in Connecticut. And so I was coming from there and then I went to William and Mary, which is like this college where all the bureaucrats go to school. There were all the bureaucrats kids up in Washington, D.C. go to school. So what I'm getting at is the quality of women that I had been exposed to. was not the New York, it was not the Manhattan quality or the Los Angeles quality of beautiful

women. And then I got, I got on those, in Paris, it started to hit me. It was like, oh my gosh. And then when I got like, in Denmark, it was just like, holy shit. And then I started getting, I just started like doing an inventory. And we pulled in and there were all these girls like, you know, I was 21 at the time. So these were high school girls. 17, 18 year old girls. I think they were waiting to take the train home from school. And a hundred percent of them were eights and up. And it was like, oh, it's just the, it's this, I mean, you know, Hitler caught on because

like, he had some good points. Those chicks are pretty hot, but. Dude, there was this old episode of Buck Rogers or something like that. And he's like seeing different people from different planets. And there's one guy who can like, like, bend steel rods. And he's like that. And he was like, well, he goes, on my country, on my planet. I'm actually a weakling.

Everyone can do that real easily. I'm weak where I'm at. Eight's there, like, I'm a bit ugly. Yeah, like, yeah. They really are so fucking across the board hot. Seven-Eleven workers are like, what are you doing? Yes. Why are you here?

Yes. You should be a model. Yes. Yes. You come to America, you're queen. You can destroy whatever town. You could be the mayor of any town in America. And this is just.

And you're working a 7-Eleven in fucking Stockholm. And they have little chairs when they sit on the... Their cashiers have chairs, remember? Oh, I don't. Uh-uh. The cashiers sit at the cash register. Instead of making them stand? Yeah.

It's kind of... Why not? Why would you make them stand? Why do you make them stand? I don't know. Because it's like that if you got time to lean, you got time to clean. You can't clean. You're a cashier.

I don't know. You can't do anything. thing. You have to just wait for the next person. I'll bet you it's like an OSHA thing. The vestibule is too small and if there's a fire you could get trapped. It's probably some stupid regulation bullshit. But yeah, even in Paris

they sit. They got the Oh, that's great. Hi guys. Breaking into today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest Van Nistad. What a traveler. I mean, he is really living it. Doing with kids doing it as own. He's an author. He's a YouTuber creator. I don't think he would call himself an influencer. I once met a lady and I said, what do you do for a living?

She's got, I'm an influencer. And I assume she was joking. And I laughed in her face. Because I'm like, what's your job is to influence people? That's a propagandist. You make sketches, do something. Ben Nystad does something. He makes these cool, like how-to videos. He is a film called The Spirited Man, which is just a bunch of creation. He's just showing creation over and over again. You can find it online right now. Follow him on YouTube at Van Nystatt, V-A-N-N-E-I-T-A-T on Instagram as well, Van N-N-E-A-T-T-E-N-E-A-T-T. You can go get the spirit of demand.com,

or you can go to his website, van.n-E-I-S-T-D-A-T. I want to read you his bio that's in here because it rules. He said, Van Nuysad is a filmmaker and artist from New York. The following biography by Tom Sacks was stolen from the book Nautical Challenge. Van Nuysad is an alcoholic from Maine via Connecticut. He grew up in the Bohemian side of the tracks in New London County,

the leading maritime community of the 18th and 19th centuries, and now home to General Dynamics plant that builds nuclear submarines. New London is also home to Pfizer, which makes Viagra. Pretty good. Guys, check them out, follow them, tell them you like the episode. He's already been to Norway now, and I'm sure he'll let you know kind of how it was. For myself, I got almost nothing to promote, except I'm doing a live UB tripping, everybody. I'm so excited about it.

The first live UB.Tripping outside of Skangfest, and it's all about October Fest. June 10th at the new Brooklyn Improv via Second City, whatever they're calling it. Tickets are available right below if you're watching on YouTube or on Spotify. if you're listening, iTunes everywhere, the tickets are right there. Come dressing your leaderhosen, dress the part. I'm going to try to have at least a pretzel guy

and dress them up and tell them it's a Bavarian pretzel, even though it's just probably dirt rat pretzels from New York City. I'm going to try to make the best I can. Dress up. If you've been to October 1st, bring in your stories. I'm going to give out prizes to the best dress. Dressing your German everything.

I'm going to do a playlist before the load in so you guys can listen to some German songs come in. It's October as me and at least three, unless one cancels last minute, of the finest comedians who have also been to October vans. It's going to be a blast. Live you be tripping. I'm doing an experiment. Show up and let's have a blast.

I really want to make it a party. So really show up. I mean, not just show up. I mean like, let's get Germany. German-ish. Anyway, that's it. I also have, as you know, my new television show, The End, is available. right now at arihafeer.com.

Seven one-hour episodes of the finest storytelling comics in front of a live audience that you'll ever find. Each one-hour special is only $5.99. But if you buy five of them, you get the last two for free. That's 40% more. Yeah, 40% for free. That ends up being about four bucks each. For comics like myself, Tom Segora,

Mark Norman, Joe List, Robert Kelly, Roy Wood Jr., Miss Pat, Ali Sadiq. I'm forgetting. It's on Sam Talent, whom I forget. Tony Hinchcliff, Nate Bargazzi, Shane Gillis, Robert Kelly. See how I skirt it over the big ones? It's not about that.

It's about the quality of the show. Colum Tiro is one of people's favorites. Support me and support me doing independent stuff. Kind of like the way VenniSat does by going to R.Shafeer.com and at least get one episode. There's a VIP package where you get this limited edition post. where you can try to get everyone to sign it. Jessica Reed, Jordan Jensen,

Chris DeStefano. What a fucking good show. Anyway, get it right now. Guys, let's get back to the episode with Van Nuyset. We went and, like, you're doing the Ural trip and you have like your $20 a day. She catch you looking at chicks. Do you remember?

You know, subtle about it. Settle. And then all of her cousins are like... Also hot. Fucking knockouts. And like the regular people, she had cousins that were, they were like cheap. People. Sheep shepherds?

Sheepuckers? Shepherds. They were like they sold wool from sheep and they had a border collie and I slept. This was in like rural Norway and I like slept on a bed that was stuffed with feathers. Oh. And they had a border collie. And those people, they were sheep farmers. They had like a country house called the Huta, I think is what it was called.

Up near the Arctic Circle. No, really? I think the name of the time was Tinset. like T-Y-N-S-E-T and it was near Uppdal. I can't believe I remember all this stuff. And we went up and they had a little family reunion. And she was like, oh yeah, everybody has these. Plumbers have these, these second houses up in the woods.

And we, I remember we were just like, she had these little cousins and I was, they had funny, entertaining American guy. And we were falling asleep at night. And it was like a whole bunch of us. For some reason, we were with the kids. There was a whole bunch of us like in the attic. sleeping and it was like you know it's two o'clock in the morning but it looks like it's seven o'clock in the evening that's so great because it's coming down oh wow that's so high up

I was looking at it on a Norway map and I'm like it's not that high up but look at it on the big map yeah it's like northern Canada wow yeah it is so we're falling asleep and they all speak English the little kids and it's their chance to speak English with an American they get they learn it. TV? In school. And in the movies, yeah, watching the movie. So we're falling asleep and Elisa was my girlfriend's name.

And her cousin, this little kid out on, he's like 10 or 11, he's like, we're all just getting past that giddiness and it's time to fall asleep. And then all of a sudden he goes, when, when? When? Yeah. He was like, what? And he was like, don't you think it was nice that Christopher Reeve didn't kill the horse that tried to kill him?

It's all he's been thinking about? It was just, I couldn't stop laughing all the night. Has he been waiting for an American to ask it? That was an earnest question. He's a sheep farmer, this kid, you know? He was like, death that tried to kill him. There's so many levels of that. It's like, well, they didn't even, it didn't bite them to it up.

So cool. And the best, and then we went to, um. So you just went around Norway with like family stuff? In cars and in on trains. And I just got exposed to like, because that is seen as like the most sophisticated. I think. I mean, France is probably the fanciest place in the world. But the Norway, like they're just their life.

Oh, here's the thing. Norway. ski, that word ski, that's a Norwegian word. And if you look up the stats on winter Olympics, like Norway has like fourfold the next number, next country in gold medals or in medals. They have like four times Russia. No, really?

A tiny little country of four million people. So there's ski area, like look at that. Norway has, okay, no, I'm wrong. It's a hundred. They have. No, but it shouldn't be more than the United States. They have four million people. Yeah.

They have like Brooklyn. Is there country? Maybe it's 5 million people. 405 medals. United States 3.30. That's crazy they out to the United States. We have winter areas. Yeah, we have.

I get that they would get us in like cross-country skiing. Right. Yeah. But then like, do you ever see those stuff about them fighting the Nazis? No. It's so they're all in white. Yeah. Ski.

Snipe. Ski, Snipe. And the Nazis are like, well, nobody's trying to. for this. Get the fuck out of here. And then they just left? I don't know, but they're just like, we can't beat these guys. It's like one-offs.

And it's like, they're just like, you see a blinking of an eye from far away. That's it. And they're such good skiers. They're just gone. And then that must be like biathlon, right? Yeah, yeah, right. Should have got them on a lift. That's what they should.

The Nazis should have been like, just fuck the lift up. It just go down. I don't know how they, I don't know, maybe I'm, maybe I don't know the whole story. Did you ever hear this that in Dennyman? They were occupied by the Nazis. And you know how the Nazis made the Jews were the Star of David? Yeah.

The Yellow Star of David. So the King War I, the King of Denmark won one, and then all of the citizens wore them. I am I am Spartagos. Yeah. Wow, really? I don't know if that's true,

but I've heard that that story. I hope to God that's true. Isn't that fucking beautiful? Yeah, they're all like, we'll do it. Fuck you. We're all wearing them. You could make it cool. What do you mean?

Oh, the star David? Yeah. Yeah, the IDF makes it. Come on. Yeah, exactly. There's a way to like, yeah, do it. It's pretty, also a throwback at this point. Yeah.

Everybody's doing, oh, you got that star? Yeah. Noice. It's being like a black flag fan or something. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So what'd you do out there? Just drove around?

You know, it was, I was just traveling. I remember, like, I was always, always hungry, and then you're on this budget, you're in Europe and everything's super expensive. And the grandmother would pack these incredible lunches. And like there was a law in Norway where you could only feed your workers salmon like five times a week. Because salmon is so, there's so much salmon up there. She has to cut it back.

Yeah, you can't feed them more than that. So everything had this amazing. She would pack all these sandwiches with delicious like, like poached salmon. And she made this rhubarb like, like. uh jam and so we would have rhubarb and then you know the salami and the cheese there is so good and the bread and we would have like cheese bread and rhubarb um with salami there had this part yeah is that their is that their food rhubarb is that grow there i don't know i think she had it like in her garden or something wow the best strawberries i've ever had in my life were in lillahomber

i went remember they had the olympics in lillahomber yeah i went and visited lillahomber it was How long were you there for? I think I was only there for maybe a week or something. But it was like my first week of foreign travel and the language was so neat and weird. There was, I had a picture of it and on the elevator next to the elevator button, it said, I, the letter I and then F-A-H-R-T, I fart. What is that? I don't know. It meant like, you fart or something.

It meant like up or down or something. What was the feeling like being in another country the first time? It's like when you try to describe mushrooms to somebody and you're like, I've done it too many times to remember what it's like for the first time or get your drinking for the first time. I just, it was so, there were, it was, you know, the world is more homogenized now.

It's more Americanized now. Like everywhere you go is a Farragamo store. But then it was, it was different. And what was it like? It was. There's a smell. It was cool. It was like not hot because you're up north.

And I'm used, I was down in Williamsburg, Virginia, which is a swamp. It's like 100 degrees, 98% humidity. So it was cool. It was like that. And then you felt foreign. So you were foreign, so you were a little special. So you kind of had that like micro celebrity kind of thing. You were like the, you were like the novelty.

And just, 94 was when Pulp Fiction. came out. Uh-huh. I think that was 94. Yeah. So there was that whole thing. You know, the difference, it's just the little differences. They got the same shit over there that they got over here right there.

It's just a little different. So I was just noticing all of that. They don't have the pound system. Like the lights, like the escalators don't turn on until you get, they have motion detectors. Until you come up to them, the escalators are stairs. And then you walk up and they, they turn on. Same with the lights. You go into a vestibule after, you know, you go into like a foyer.

The lights click on. and then when you leave the floyer, the lights click off. Oh, like in the hallways of the apartments? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a weird European thing. Or you can hit them, but like if you haven't moved, you can like hit them to go back on.

Yes. But yeah, just like gets you going and then it goes off. The cars are smaller, not as night. Like they don't have as cool of cars. They don't have the variety of cars. Oh, in Norway and in Sweden, like 99% of the cars were Volvos. And like, and Saab was the other. Swedish car company and like 1% were so my I grew up in Volvo's so oh and you know um they're boxy

but they're good I learned this from Jerry Seinfeld but Volvo has this symbol which is the circle with the arrow that goes up and it kind of looks like the male yeah the male's the symbol for male but it's really the symbol for uh Swedish steel oh really and the reason those cars are so bomb proof the ones that were made in Sweden it doesn't like mail that's Swedish That's Swedish. That's the Swedish symbol for steel. And Swedish steel is very, very high quality steel, and that's why those cars last so long.

So they're the safest ones, right? They were then, yeah. I think probably Tesla's the safest now. Really? I think so. As long as you don't fall asleep and hit it with your knee. It doesn't catch fire. Do they catch fire?

Yeah, and they were almost impossible to put out. You have to just let them burn out. I love when my buddy was, his house was in the, Palisades or whatever. He was running, and he was like, his car was setting him notifications, like a little overheated, a little over and then it's like, goodbye, it's been nice knowing you. He's getting those messages like, I'm done. Save the lighter.

Hi, guys, today's episode of Ubi Chipper is brought to you by my favorite sponsor, Shopify.com. Guys, no matter what you're selling, Shopify can help you get there, no matter what you're selling. And R.O.S.fri.com, in addition to selling, you know, UB. Trippin T-shirts and Jewish vinals and stuff. Well, not Jewish vinals. What is that? Less grooves? Less grooves, by the way. Side note. Two ways that's a Jewish stereotype. They're groove less, and you save money on the grooves. That's a double-playing words. That's not what I'm talking about today. What I'm really selling at a r.shabir.com is reviews on toys you can fuck. Guys, you want a fucking gun right in the fucking butt? Absolutely. Find out if it's good or bad at russhafeer.com.

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and let's get back to fucking toys. And if you got a toy, by the way, that you want me to review, please let me know. I'm willing to fuck it. Guys, it's not like all at once, you know what I mean? I need some time to regroup. I need some time to regroup. You can't just fuck away.

Because a lot of these guys, okay, before we get back to the episode, I'm just going to tell you this right now. A lot of fucking toy fucking reviewers will just do a little bit of feeling and move on. It's not me. You got to do a completion. And you've got to lay there sometimes. You've got to kind of cuddle with your doll. You know, you first fucking put a load in this shoe.

You could just like say, okay, let me start writing. But sit there with it a little bit. Let it drip out, you know? See what it does to you. Maybe you put it up, maybe a little muckum mustache. I don't know. You know, but you got to let it find you. So I take time and effort.

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This is so fun. That's what I love about going to new places too, is noticing those little things. It's tough to remember later. But as you're there, you're like, oh, the elevator doesn't go on until you get there. Oh, IKEA. This was before the American IKEA thing. This is probably before there was a single IKEA store in America. And I remember like how good quality and how tasteful and how good the colors of all the furniture was.

And I was just like, what is this furniture? And oh, he's just from Ikea or however they say it. And it's like, what's that? And at the time, the guy was like the richest guy in the world. They're like, you don't know what this is. It's just box stuff that you put together. And then it made its way across the ocean. Now you can kind of get everything in America that you can get around the world.

But back then, it wasn't that. It was, there were things that were unique to the places where you went. Was there a camaraderie of just a Scandinavian country? It's like trade with each other. I think they're very, uh, competitive. I don't know. Oh, those disgusting Norway. So I think the Norwegians, like the Swedes and like the Danish, because it's all

they're all Danish like colonies. I think the Danish are like the most highfalutin. Like you went to that restaurant, right, in Copenhagen? Yeah. No. Bobby Kelly. What was that like? It was highfalutin.

Yeah. For sure. it was just like an experience. I've never done one of those before. I've done them since. You know, we'll take you on a journey. You know,

culinary journey. It's like that movie, The menu. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 100% is based on that.

Yeah. The movie is based on this where it's like, yeah, everything, it's like, one of the meals was moss. Oh, come on. Fried moss. So it was like this big and like light area.

And you're like, all right. And then they clear it. It was a 26 course meal. So you're not. not filling it. It took the three hours. And then they say when you're done, you go get pizza. Yeah.

Okay. Because it never fills you up. It's just not about that. Yeah. But God bless him. God bless him. Highfalutin for sure. But honestly, though, $500 wasn't the craziest amount.

No. I expected to be like two, three grand each and it was $500. Yeah. So it's like, that's why I went out of business. Yeah. That's why they close. I mean, in New York meal, it was a wine pairing too. So New York meal with three glasses of wine, that's $150 easily.

Right? Yeah. LA's probably close. Yeah, yeah. Any nice restaurant. Yeah, yeah. So it's not like crazy, crazy. No, no.

No, that's fair. Yeah, all the meals were great. Norway is kind of seen, oh, I read this book way after the fact. I probably read this book in like 2015. There's this guy, Carlova Scarsgard, and he wrote this book, this series of books called My Struggle. Yeah. like mind conf

oh really that's what mine comp means oh what was his struggle like being a writer in Norway I guess I don't know but it was just like a really it was pretty good but it was very just like basically kind of like a transcription of just his life it just felt like an autobiography

but it was very good but um wait I forgot where I was going with that I forgot what I was like oh but in that book he talks about how the Norwegian are kind of looked at as the redneck Scandinavian. Really? And I think that's what I love about it.

That's what I think, I mean, but they're way, they're like, doctors and lawyers are here. Is right on the line of regular Europe. It's on the continent, yeah. Yeah. Finland is Russia. Finland isn't even considered Scandinavia. Estonia's Russia. Latvia is Russia.

And then Poland, really, Ukraine, kind of like borderline areas, even Romania. Yeah. It seems like Eastern Europe, but like, yeah, Denmark is, is got, Pembark is so like, technologically advanced

and just everything's like past everything we have. Like the women are all real, like, you can't buy them a drink. They're like, why?

Okay. What do you mean? I mean, if you can get this around. But like, what do you mean? Like, it doesn't even, it's not like, hey, don't do that.

It's like, I don't even get it. Why would you? Yeah. You know? Yes. Because they make the same. Yeah.

So there's not even a thought of like, I also love that in Denmark they were just leaving their baby strollers outside full of baby. Yeah. Okay. You know? And we're like, what? And they're like, yeah, they're shopping inside.

They didn't want to bring their kid in. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, but it's just a baby on wheels. And my friend was like, well, what are you going to do, steal it? Yeah, who would steal a baby? And you're like, damn, my country blows. Disgusting Americans. Fuck.

Were you fucking this chick the whole way through her family back jobs? Nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She was my girlfriend. Could you do it at our family's house? I don't really remember. Just sneak out to a Midsomar camp.

I don't really remember. It was summertime. It was summer. Did it look like Midsomar? I kind of feel like, I don't know if I'm bringing after seeing that movie. I don't know if I'm bringing it to that. But it kind of was that. But it was more rainy.

Oslo, which is where the grandmother lives, that is an incredible town. That is a beautiful town. Agree, but explain. Well, there's like this. So there's like, it's kind of like LA. There's like the port where the beautiful water that you can swim in. You know, it's a port and you can swim in that water because it's perfectly clean. Really?

Yes. And then there's like all this futuristic modern glass buildings. And then the houses are kind of up in the hill. And there's all these like walkways through gardens that are very beautiful. And there's this park called Vigelon Park. And it was this sculptor's life's work where the sculptures in this park. and it's the life cycle of a human being. So it starts off with like a pregnant woman

and then an infant and a baby and it grows up and blah blah blah blah blah. And it's all over the park, all these sculptures. And then like there's all these antique stores up there that the like the housewives of the rich bankers and stuff for their hobby. They have the antique stores up there.

And they had ski areas. See this thing? Yeah, it's this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's this. Vigaland Park. He's just kicking this baby. Frog.

Vigelan Park. There it is. He's beating up a baby? He's just, you know, he's got a lot of kids. He's got a- He's trying to catch him. He could be trying to catch him. This is open to her interpretation. He could be like when your cell phone drops and you're like, oh, it's going to crack so you try to stop with your foot. I mean, that's kind of what it's like having kids. It's like juggling. But kids, see how they're all laughing, the kids?

They love rough housing. Oh, maybe you're storing them in a pool, yeah. They love rough housing. Yep, uncircumcised. Yeah, not bad. I mean, it's cold up there. It's a grower. Yeah, it's going to be a grower.

Yeah. I can't get it off. Oh, yeah, for sure, uncircumcised. You rarely see uncircumcised sculpting. Wow, it's even got the hole for it to come out. Yeah. He's peeling that thing. Wow.

Wow. What a smooth transition from head to shaft, too. Yeah. Also, clearly been touched a lot why it's bronzed up. Everyone comes up and touches it. Like, wears it down. The rest of it, no one touched the inner thigh. That's polished by human hands.

Are the baby weeners polished? Oh, yeah. Disgusting. You can't do that. I mean, they can't get up there. It would be this one. Damn, I fucked this up. All right.

But everything, the thing was like, how nice everything is. How clean everything is. How good all the diets are. How fit all the people are. How beautiful all the people are. Yeah, the diets are good too. This was 1996. Six.

Yeah. Do you notice? Do you remember anything about like the way you felt from the food? Every time I go to Europe in general. When I came home, still to this day, when I go to Europe and I come home, I'm sick for a week. Diary and. Where do you think it is? America?

It's America. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reintegrating your system into something shitty. Because there's like weird. I mean, RFK, he has a point. Yeah. I think there's a lot of poison in our food, a lot of chemicals in our food. Crazy.

Even when I eat like shit somewhere, I lose weight. Yes. And I'm like, look, I'm just guessing what it is, but it's got to be the, like a crooked FDA, putting tons of shit in our stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Maybe they just have access to, like, more organic stuff. Maybe it's just easier for them, but still.

They got all these rules there. I remember visiting Austria and was with this Austrian man, and he said, even the food has to, all the meat here by law has to be organic. He's like, you go to McDonald's, you're getting organic beef. Interesting. We went to McDonald's all right. Interesting. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. I love a McDonald's when they have different, like, regional stuff like Poutine. Yeah. In Canada and you're like what? Or like brown sticky rice in Thailand. Yes. Trying to think we went to one in Bali.

What they had? I don't know. Street chicken. Yeah. They used to do McPisa. Do you remember that? No. They must have been testing it at our thing.

They had McPisa. It wasn't good. That's funny when they tested nude McDonald's or whatever product and it's only in Cincinnati or it's only in this. I'm like, let's see how it goes with these. Yeah. I found out in Kentucky is where they test all the candies. So Kentucky, if you, I don't know if this is still true.

Not in Kentucky. I'm sorry, in Louisville. If you live in Louisville, you're always getting all these weird. Every new candy is like, go through there. You're getting weird candies. That's one of the, like, tests. That's pretty cool. They're testing the, like.

Yeah. Oh, that was like a practical joke. They're candy up there. And I tell my son about this. They're candy. They have these little, they're like, kind of like we have fireball. here, but they're brown, and they're like, they're like magnesium sulfate or some shit. They're like these salt bombs, and you put them in, they're not sweet or anything, and you put

them in your mouth, and it's like you're being poisoned. So the kid will just give you, oh, you want some candy? Sure, I'll try that. Boom, and it's just, and then they laugh and flint. Just like a red hot or whatever. Yeah, but for them, it's like delicious, fun. It's pain, and we all know. They're also tougher.

They're really tough in the cold. Yeah. And, like, swimming in cold. cold water and stuff and like everything's warm to them because I was up there in summer. They're just like tougher. Like they're harder. Like their muscles. Like there's less fat between their skin and their muscles.

You know what I mean? Like they can do more pull-ups naturally. Maybe because I was hanging out with like farm kids. You think the chicks too? The chicks are robust. Yeah, but what happened to this chick? What happened to the girl you were dating? So what happened?

I think maybe I, I, Just what happened? Oh, I, oh, no, what happened? I think she, like, the summer came. Yeah. And then she went off somewhere. And we broke up and then I went off somewhere and, like, blah, blah, blah. It's funny when you're like, well, I got to go for two months.

You know, like, well, that's a sizable percentage of our adult lives two months. So, yeah, let's move on. I think I was with her for over a year, I think. Nice, bro. But, so, yeah, that's what kicked it off for me. And I remember, like, booking it. Okay. Like booking the whole process.

So the way I got money for it, this is why I don't have any sympathy for people. You're pretty good at being like, you don't need money to do anything you want. But I might just be stuck in the 90s. I might be wrong about that. It might be different now. I think there's definitely places, I don't know.

I think there's places you can't do without money. Right. You can do Mexico without money. There's certain experiences you can't have without money. Scuba diving is never going to be cheap. Right, right, right, right. But like, it's, it's, Yeah, you can get, I don't know, I don't know.

I heard you say on this podcast that America was the worst place to travel. Why? You didn't go into it. It's the worst place to travel? Within America. Oh, I mean, yeah, the plane systems. I just planned this trip to Montana, like a three-week trip. And it's like, it's in shitty hotels are insanely expensive.

And there's no, like, you can't go. a way down. Yeah, way, way down. It's like, well, we have bedbugs. It's a bed bug in. And you're like, I mean, is there anything just like functional? They don't accommodate. Whereas on that continent, they're accommodated.

They want the kids traveling around. There's like a whole system for that. And there's like a, I just don't know what it's like traveling in the age of the internet. It can't possibly be as good. It's also like, we have a weird highway system, which is great, but also is like, it also separates you from the land. And you don't, we don't have the train system. And there and wherever else.

The trains, right, trains also. Like you're seeing the landscape change. Yes. And you're driving on two lane highways with the mountains behind you. It's not, it's not, I don't know. I don't know. It's not like it's bad, but man, and everyone at airports are such cunts. Oh.

God damn, there's another level of rude, airport route. Oh. Why are you yelling at us? You'll never be back here. By the way, first of all, laptops come out of your bag. No. We're not waiting on you. You're not waiting on us.

We're waiting on you. You're the bottleneck. And also just tell us individually. You've got nothing to do. I will say this and this might just be like right wing propaganda. Yeah. But I will say this. Blacks are terrible.

LAX is better with this new administration. I noticed it immediately. I flew in. Explain. They weren't yelling at me. Christy Noam is the new. Is you new what? Christy Gnome is the new like Homeland Security Secretary.

Yeah. So I think she just, she might. Hey guys, just be nice. Somebody said something. It's better. It works better. The crowds, there's less, the lines are shorter. I mean, this is, I've done it twice.

Right, one day. It's day by day. Yesterday and I did it in for like. Remember they're doing intentional slowdowns? No. They were like, we want to raise and be like, well, we don't know about that. And like, okay. And then in Chicago and everything, there were lines down the block.

And they go, we're going to do slowdowns to see how much. you need us and everyone's just missing flights. They, oh, oh, here's something cool that happened to me once in Europe. Okay. The bus drivers were on strike. Yeah. But they didn't not show up for work. They just didn't collect fares.

They just made it all free. I was like, oh, this is my kind. I love this strike. That's interesting. Like, we can't fuck over the town because people still have to get to work. This is wrong to do this. Like, because he or you're probably here when the, when the sanitation went on strike. Within two days, the city's buried under trash.

Don't fuck with those guys. Yeah, so it's like, really, whatever they want they get. So you have to make sure they're happy. But like, that's funny. So like you can still get on the bus, but the city will make no money until we get paid. That's right. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, that rules. Super cool. It seems like they are in Scandinavia, probably Norway too. It's just like a care about the citizens. I feel that. I really, really think so. I think,

I think because it's so small. And homogenous. And homogenous. And the family history, it's not nations of immigrants. These are indigenous people. And it goes way, way,

way, way, way back. And the culture is so thick and strong and forged that you're really, it's a, you're really, you're really not going to fuck over people.

Yeah. I think there's that. And I, you remember in 2008 during that financial crisis, they, I think it started in like Iceland. I think they were like one of the first European country.

And they, the Icelandic people, they fired everyone. And they replaced them all like the leadership with women. They didn't. Nice. Why? I think that's what ended up happening. On purpose? I don't remember why.

I don't know if it was like, I don't know, but I remember that. That was like there was like a women's coalition. Yeah, I remember going afterwards and they go, oh, you bailed your banks out. Why, they failed? And I'm like, I don't know any of this. And they go, yeah, but if they failed, should you have just fired them all? So the Iceland, if I remember where I go, all right, then you're out of business. Let's start over.

That's the capitalist system that we love. Think of how cool it would have been if the people got to keep the houses. Fuck you banks. No more mortgage, but the banks are gone. The banks are gone. Yeah, we're not doing that. Instead, they took the houses. They paid for them.

They bought them for the banks with the people's money that they fucking. It is crazy. That's what all this craziness is about. Remember Bernie Sanders was like, can you, can Hillary Clinton, can you show the speeches you made to the banks privately she goes I'm looking for those I'll give it to her and then like four months of campaigning were like any look yeah yeah finding what you sold them privately and she was like nah no luck yeah really because they're reporting that you said don't worry you guys are playing by different rules have you ever

heard the like from her doing her uh this is from the i don't know early 2000 she was doing her um policy for for immigration illegal immigration she's like we find every single person we deport them. Maybe we have a program where they can work, but they're going to pay back all their, they're going to pay back. It was like exactly MAGA. It's so funny to see them. Also, their stances on like gay rights.

It's so funny to see the people that we later loved on the left to go like, wait, is this AI? You're going like, no, guys, come on. Man, what's next? A man in a tree? Yeah. And you're like, wait, what? These are like the hardcore lips?

First of all, you can say some terrible shit about Hillary Clinton. I bet she fucks wonderfully. Go on. I bet she is wild. How else would she attract a guy who can fuck anything? I bet she cleans his dick. I mean, just drains it in a level that you can't.

You and I, we get normal puss. So you have to separate yourself. You go back and see those pictures when he was like governor, pre-governor. Yeah, that's how, when he got it? She's got that like evil, like, not evil, I'm sorry,

that innocent, That fake, innocent look on her face? I mean, is that her? Oh, yeah. Where's she? Yeah. That one, this one is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Coish and like, she hadn't had the butch haircut yet.

Boy, that's the word. She's, that's an ingenue. Yes. And she's like, hello, Bill. Still hot there. Is that first lady? Of the nation? Could be.

Or of Arkansas. Oh, yeah, mate. Where is she from? Is she from Chicago? that chick's cute that chicks will kill you yeah no disrespect to holly clinton i love all of everything you've done um i actually did a project with her i'll hail to everything you are um please i'm on i'm on your side okay go ahead you did a project with her yes what you do we used to do our friend um tom healy was like the CEO or the chair of this thing called the lower manhattan

cultural council. Yeah. And what they did is they found spaces for artists to work or live in. And so they'd have these big fundraisers every year at like Chippriani and all that and all the rich people would go. And they would do an honoree video where they'd honor like five people. And Bill Clinton, we did him one year. Oh, no, no, that was a different project.

No, no. But she was one of the honorees. I think it was when she was senator or secretary of, she was secretary of state. Okay. And so we went and met with her. No, she was Senator. We went and met with her in some, like, the Hilton Hotel up in, like, Times Square.

She was, like, super charming. I get it. She was, like, super charming, very friendly, well-organized machine. We, like, sprung an idea on her that we didn't, like. And she was like, oh, can you make us an original piece of art? And she just, like, drew a funny picture. And she, like, you know, she kind of got into it. I bet all those people when you meet them, they're like, oh, I see why you're a leader.

Yeah, they're super charming. Yeah. It's not just chance. No, no. I know. That's their thing. That's what they can do. Charmed.

Yeah. They're, yes. Charmed you. But getting off her. So you, let me ask you a question. So just, what opened the can of worms for traveling? Yeah, yeah. That's what I was going to say.

Because I think there's a lot of barriers. People get freaked like, my parents don't travel for and they like the language thing. It's scary. Yes. It's scary. They're going to rob you. What if you get lost? What if you lose your.

passport are you going to be stuck there what if you're getting trouble well are the cops going to be different i think people think leave here it's super dangerous which is the opposite of the opposite no those are the safe places what was you what were you because you're from where are you from borough park no i mean my people are crown heights no uh silver's from maryland oh yeah i'm Montgomery County, Moko. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay.

I was born here, but then we moved pretty fast to like North Carolina and then whatever. But yeah, I didn't really travel. I lived in Israel for two years, but I didn't really count. Like it was like school. That counts. It does looking back for sure. Yeah. But at the time.

18 to 20. Well, yeah. It for sure counts. At the time, I was like everyone I knew did it. It was just like going to college and counting colleges travel. Yeah. Okay. To us.

It was like, you're just going to live in. Jerusalem for two years. Yeah. I went on a Swiss festival to Montreau, Switzerland. Okay.

They wanted some Americans. It was a French festival. They wanted some American, not America, they wanted to try to, like, span that. So they got me to be an ambassador

for like stand-up. They got some other guys from England to be an ambassador for sketch, meaning like, can you get a submissions? And then five comics. One of the guys from Chicago, CYSK, Mike, Kevin Isso, Paul Morrissey, Jessica Michelle Singleton. Fuck, who was the last guy?

I don't know. There was some South African comics. Anyway, I went and my friend Paul Morrissey and we're just like, hey, we've got a free trip to Switzerland on stand-up. We've got to start doing this more. That's a free on-the-arm trip. Yeah. And then we went from there to Amsterdam. We're like, hey, let's make them fly us home a week later.

so we can have some time. Yes. And then he was like, let's just make sure to do this. Two countries every year. Yes. So I really committed to it. And then I went to China. I got my agent.

He was like, I got like a run in China if you want. It's not much money. Yeah. But I was like 100% and then once you go to like an Asian country, you're open. I love what you said about China. You were like, yeah, it's kind of the same thing. It's just like there's zero crime. You're never going to get a school shooting.

You're never going to get held up. You're never going to get rub. But you're under surveillance. And if you talk about Tiananmen Square. Tibet, you're going to jail. Here, you can talk about Tiananmen Square or Tibet or, you know, the Epstein list, but they might shoot up your school. You might get rough.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. If you do fall down, just fall down in like the project. Like, I'm taking everything, you know? But like, yeah, it's all different. And it just like, it opens you up. So this trip seemed to open you up. This trip opened me up. And then I remember, like, it was just the 90s was, it was different, Ari.

It was different in the 90s because I remember 200. $189 round trip Paris tickets from New York to 89. Which let's call that 600 now. Yeah. That was on air India. Air India. Wow. We did it.

So what are people just shit in the aisles? No. It was like an old plane. Ash trays, old like upholstery. It was so cool. It was so cool. Damn. I flew Air France when I flew to Paris to go to Norway.

You could smoke on the plane. I smoked in the back. Yeah. You could still smoke in Europe. In the 90s? Yeah, 96. Yep. That's the end of it.

There was a smoking car and all the trains. Cross country also was like, they were like, all right. Not cross country. International. Yeah. Like domestic was the first to go. Right. And then like, but internationally you got it.

You can't go six hours without smoking. No, no. Yeah. Oh, I know what I was going to talk about booking. There was all papers. How did you do it? It was all, you had to look up. I can't remember.

There might have been a special. paper you would get and you'd go in the back and it would be like student Europe trips blah blah blah package deal blah blah blah blah and you'd like call a travel agent and you'd like call in your credit card and this is like when the debit slash credit card because I don't think I had good enough credit maybe it was like when the debit credit card thing was invented so you could just put money in the bank and then spend like it's a credit card you could give them the number instead of having to mail them you might have had to mail them a check. This was like the age of travelers checks, which it turns out you never really needed to use because you could just use your ATM card. We never needed to use

them. Never fucking need them. Wasn't that crazy fees or something? It was always like you have to take travelers checks or if you... Because if you get stolen, you can get them reimbursed. I never really understood. Where was that scam though? That had to be on everyone's tongue. The tip of everyone's tongue is like, let's just say we got robbed. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, because it would have your signature on it. I don't really know. I don't really remember how that worked. But I remember getting them and needing to have them.

Travelers checks. And that was sort of like your bank account when you were there and you'd go and you'd cash them in a little bit at a time. But then it was just like, well, why don't I just use one? So you take the travelers checks to an American Express office. And then they'd switch it for real cash in the area. For French francs or whatever. So dumb.

So dumb. So, how would you find a hotel? So hotels. You should have to hope it's waiting for you? Oh, let's go. the Berkeley guide this book this thick that you had to bring in your backpack this thick

What the fuck was that? And you'd just look up town by town So you'd look up Paris and say Stay off of La Rambla not Paris That's Ramblas? Yeah in Barcelona Stay off La Rambla This place has chicken for two dollars

And you just go and you'd find it with your book And there was no GPS either on your phone There were no phone Do they have maps on him? They had little maps of the towns but now you get it was fun it was a puzzle yeah it wasn't just like now i feel like travel except for when you're going to like places that are technologically less sophisticated than america ungrated off the grid it's like it's like uncharted or unmapped you know where it's like uh it's a puzzle somebody when you get

there and you're relying on people yeah you know whereas now it just seems like it's administrative bookwork it's just like looking up stuff on amazon or looking up you know bus routes is it a cool when you get to a place like that and then that's still living in that time. And you're like, yeah. For me, there's like, I don't know how it was with you. There's a period of like discontent where it's like, this, nah, I'm supposed to look up. Where's my thing?

I'm supposed to just have it. You know, like uneasiness because it's like back to a different way to do things. And then like, oh, this is actually really nice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yes. I know what you're talking about.

It's like that acclamation period. We were in Mexico, um, uh, uh, 2023. Yeah. And I had just replaced the engine. I built this like land cruiser so that I could do all this overland travel in the North America, South America. Yeah.

So I have this brand new diesel engine, brand new transmission. It was a fucking fortune to do this thing. Brand new braking system, brand new interior. And, but it's an old 87 land cruiser. So you don't stick out. You just look like an old. Those land cruisers are all over the world. You just look like an old truck.

You're not catching anybody's eyes. I'm not stealing that. They want new shit. They want to steal a new, you know, Ford Raptor or whatever. So I was teaching Isabel, my wife, how to drive stick on the beach. And so she picked it up like this. Really? She picked it up like this.

And so we drove back. I was like, let's park at the hotel. But she didn't, do you drive stick? Yeah. Okay. She didn't, she hadn't, didn't have the reflex that the clutch is a panic button. If something's going wrong, jam that clutch in and figure it out. Just coast.

Just jam the clutch in and hit the brakes. Yeah. And we were pulling into a parking spot And she just didn't know how she used to just Put hitting the brakes and putting it in park And just right into rocks and blink Smashed in my front bumper Like just destroyed it

So I had to go I knew where there was guys who could bang it out So I went and found on this road in It was Zewatanejo Yeah There was just this back road that goes between Estapa Zewatinejo

is an airport it's in Ferreiro Hold on It's from Charlshank Okay okay I was like wait I know that name

Yeah And it just like There's a place I needed a new spare tire I pull in there's tire places everywhere I get a spare tire fix I said do you know a guy who does body You know who could fix the fender

And the guy's like And then the description is like Red House Drive that way blah blah blah blah find the guy. Find the guy. And then it's just a puzzle. There's just abandoned all kinds.

Not abandoned, but there's all parts cars all over his yard. I pull in. It's a husband and wife team. He takes the bumper off and he's like, come back tomorrow. Hammers it, welds it, welds a little shim in, primers it. I'm sorry, bondo's it, sands it, primers it. They put it back on the car. They tape it all up.

They spray paint it. It looks factory. Ari, it was $150. It would have been $1,000. thousands in a the replacement bumper is like some thousand like fifteen hundred dollars or something for that car but he's straightened the frame out and everything but that kind of adventure in places like that like if you have broken shit like if you have something that's expensive or broken you need to replace the upholstery of your car drive it to mexico it's almost too like uh like you know when you're like making a plan for like all right i'm going to paris day one we're going to live and then we're going to do this we're going to eat it right search day two we're going to go this cemetery we're going to do this cemetery we're going to do it right so It's almost like if you plan like, okay, we're going to smash in our bumper on purpose and then we're going to go on a scavenger hunt to try to find a, that'll be a fun trip for us. So fun. That's why I love Overland.

And that's why I love car or motorcycle. Motorcycle is even better. We did, I did with two buddies. We did the Baja Peninsula. We were going to a friend's wedding in Cabo. We left from Los Angeles. Down this one? Yep.

Okay. My friend on the first day, John, he let too much air. You let air out of your tires when you're riding on sand. So that they're softer. There's more. The tire smushes more. So there's more contact with the sand. It's easier to ride.

And he let too much out. And he dented his rims. And so he got 11 flat tires in two weeks. It just kept flattened. And we had to change them with your hands. You have to get that fucking thing off the rim with tire irons. You're in the middle of the desert. But a couple of times we were in little cities and we could go and find

the tire guy and do the patches. And that was kind of an amazing. It got old. Changing those tires got old. But. And in Baja, you have to like find gas. There's guys who sell, they're like at the right distance

between the two furthest gas stations. And they sell, you buy it by the leader. It comes in Pepsi bottles. That's how Indo is. And like, and, and, uh,

Timor Lestay where it's like, you just go. And then that's the same thing. You get a flat tire. You're just like, there's tire shops. And it's like, Like, I would, it's in someone's house.

You got to take the wheel up. You got to change it off. You don't just put a new rim on like you do with a car. But there, they repair the actual tire. And it's like five bucks. Yeah, they patch it up, right? It's shockingly low. You get to keep your tire.

Because I'm like, well, I'm fucked here. It's a rental bike. Yeah. I'm fucked. I don't know how to do any of this. And they're like, oh, come this way. You let your kids high five you for like 10 minutes. Take a walk around.

It's like, you're good. Yeah. Give us a pittance. Yes. It's nutty. Yeah, and those bottles. Oh, my God, I'm remembering these stuff now. Yeah.

It'll be like something like this. Yes. It's just like, here's, but there's fuel. It's on a cart. Yeah. You just grab one or two or whatever. We went to, from, we went to a, you can take one with you if you're going off, like, take a couple.

We had to buy it at a fish camp. We had to buy gas. It was just like huts by the side of the road where there's all these, by the side of the ocean where there's all these fishermen guys. And the guy did the, like, they don't suck it to siphon it they blow it and they pressurize and then they lower it and it starts pouring out

and then they put it in the, I had a gas can and they filled the gas can up and then we filled our tanks up from my gas can. So cool. So cool. That kind of stuff. But yeah, that's kind of advanced travel after you've done. It's funny. That's advanced travel but also dingy travel.

Yeah. You're just like, we're not going to go on luxury. We're going to go. That's right. Sometimes dingy travel, a lot of time. There is no luxury option. There is no for any amount of money the nice thing that you as a spoiled American are accustomed to. There is no nice restaurant.

There is no nice toilet. There is no nice hotel. It doesn't matter how much money you have. Right. You just have to. Yeah. You just have to do the thing in the place. There are places I don't even want to go to because, like, I don't, I have no interest in China.

Really? I don't care. I don't care. That's funny. It's funny that somebody's like never got me. I'm talking with Russia. I'm like, I heard you say that about Russia.

It's fine. I don't hate it. I'm just like, don't care. Where haven't you been? That I want to? You want to go, yeah. High on the list now at Morocco and Japan.

I did Morocco and I did an adventure. What did you do? What's an adventure? This was like a woman. Did you teach yourself how to fix anything? I was married to my ex-wife. Yeah. We just,

My brother said my brother Casey, he was like, you got to check out Morocco. It's awesome. So we went to Marrakesh. We stayed there, which was cool. It very smoky. It hurt my eyes. The smoke, because they don't have catalytic converters. And there were so many stray dogs, like packs and packs of stray dogs.

But then we rented with a guide like Mitsubishi Montero Jeep. And we drove over the Atlas Mountains to the Sahara Desert for New Year's to camp. I think this was 2006, New Year's 2006. We camped in one of those. It's a total tourist thing. Over the Atlas Mountains. Where's the Atlas Mountains?

That's in Morocco somewhere. Oh, okay. Okay. Are you camped in a tent? It's into the Sahara. And we camp in the pre-pitched big old, like, Bedouin tent. And you ride camels. But it's all tourists.

You just go and you pay, but you, I don't know if it's still. You don't arrange it ahead of time. You just go. that's also awesome I hate arranging ahead of time you know it's an American thing yes even I don't know now

but as of 2017 this idea that you need a reservation was a very more American than anywhere else idea everywhere else like yeah yeah we'll have stuff like what can I arrange it in America you're fucked if you don't yeah right you are screwed

they're like no just come like what if it's full they're like I doubt it would be full well let me make sure and they go nah we don't really do that When we climbed Kilimanjaro, I climbed it with my brother and a couple other guys. Really?

We just went and crewed up from scratch. We picked guys out from the street. In Tanzania? Yes. We went to this outfitter. We didn't go on the internet and find this thing ahead of time. We went to Moshi Tanzania. And we picked, we went, we bought the, you have to buy the permit to climb to climb the thing.

You're required by law to have, I think, two porters per climber. but then you also have a guide and then the guide so the guide we hired this guy Tony and uh they line up a bunch of African dudes and they say okay pick who you want to be the porters what like a whorehouse?

You pick them by food by their shoes whoever has the best shoes you pick because you're climbing a 19,000 foot mountain and these guys they are the stars of that town. They're like the richest guys and they're paying them 500 bucks for a week Which is the richest thing you could do for a job there.

Oh my God, the hotel's 10. Right. You know. And our security guard at our hotel. I'm all over the place here because I think the point of the Norway thing was that this cracked it open. I went with someone who knew the terrain. So I had a guide, my girlfriend.

Which is important. Right. And we went on from there. We had your real pastas. We went from Norway. The next place we went to from Norway was Venice. It was three days on a, on trains, transferring trains.

I remember getting to Italy. Remember, this is the 90s. It was different. It wasn't as rich as it is now. And there were people and I was, first of all, I was so disappointed by Italy. I was like, man, fuck this place. These trains fucking suck.

This food is fucking bullshit. The food is 100% hype. This is not that great. This food is not that great. It's just fucking hyped up bullshit. Granted, I'm traveling on $10 a day. Right. Or whatever it is.

And I remember, like how, because I'm coming from Scandinavia, how disorganized the train was and we were waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and there was a family they were taking the municipal train they were moving they had like tables and chairs and shit in a blanket like they took all their chairs homes like shit put it in a blanket tied a rope and we're like trying to cram it through the door of the of the of the of the train and so then that didn't fit so they had to take all the chairs and shit and bring them they're moving on a train and we're waiting and we're waiting You know a thousand people are waiting. What? But then have you been to Venice? No.

Holy fuck. It is I went it wasn't it wasn't flooded. It was like dry because I think sometimes like during the rainy season maybe in like spring or something it gets the sea level comes up because it rains so much or something. So so dry you mean you could walk in them? You could walk there wasn't flooded. So you could walk. Oh my God. Oh my.

You cannot believe that this thing was fucking made like you couldn't make this. place now. You're always lost. I'm always lost anyway. I don't have a good sense of direction. I've got terrible. Because everything looks the same. Yes. It takes a half an hour. You go one block away to your restaurant from your hotel. It'll take you an hour to find your hotel. You got to walk there that up them back over. It's just the streets, some of the streets are 20 feet long. You can't see anything. There's no horizon. It's just you're in a hallway. It's like the beginning of snatch. Remember? Did you remember that movie snatch? When they're in the, when they're in the, the Diamond District and they walk into a, it's like, it's all done on surveillance

monitors and they walk into a hallway and then they take a left in that door and then they go in another hallway, take a right in that door. It's just like a maze. It's a whole city of that. And then you have, there's a couple place frames of references. There's the Piazza San Marco, the big plaza. And then there's the Ray Alto Bridge, which is like the big bridge or I think Raelto means bridge, whatever is the Rio Alto, peri Alto or something. And those are your, that's how you can triangulate. And then there's like the water. It's a little overrun.

It's totally overrun with tourists. Was it overrun then? Yeah. Now it gets worse and worse, especially with the American tourists. Actually, don't travel. I love Tim Dillon.

It's like, don't, don't travel. Don't travel. Stay home, don't travel by plane. Stop. Yeah,

please are ruining. There is a thing where it's like, a lot of places, like once you find out about them, it's too late. Yeah. But that, to me,

that's like, instead of bemoaning how everything's ruined, just know there's other places that aren't ruined yet. you usually have to be willing to give up some luxury. Yeah. And you have to be a little risky.

That's what's fun about Mexico now. Okay. Mexico now because of all of the press. And also, you know, it's a civil war. Yeah. You're going down into a civil war. There's fucking armored personnel vehicles in the streets. You go up into these middle of nowhere little mountain towns.

There'll be 10 like, they look like tanks, like armored personnel carriers, 50 caliber machine guns. Guys, military outfits, the Marines, says Marines on the side. That'll just be in the middle of nowhere. And it's just there and you're going through checkpoints and you're getting papers checked. And there's militarized guys and guys with the masks and stuff. And that is everywhere. And the cartels are the guys in the police, blue police uniforms.

I remember watching Cartel land after this. I was like, after going to Mexico and being like those were the cartel guys. Are they like official? What's that? Are cartel like official? Are they like, yeah, we run this town legally run it. We've taken over. Since the, it's started, I read this book called Dope.

and it's about the relationship between the Mexican government or governments because they have states down there and the cartel. And it started during prohibition because they were smuggling up like whatever, rum or whatever. They were smuggling up. So like Michoacan totally integrated. The government and the cartels, it's all totally integrated. And here's a very interesting thing that I did not know. Mexico does not have a drug problem. Mexican kids don't do drugs.

They like the there's like one in 12 Mexican 18 year olds has smoked weed and in America it's like nine out of ten or something like this. Is it just all export? They yeah they just they don't have the drug. For whatever reason strong family religion. I don't know. They don't have the drug problem. Also can they afford the drugs? Yeah, I think so.

I think it's really cheap. Oh, right. Good point. But I just don't think you want to deal. If you can help it, you don't want to deal with this. Oh, that's interesting. But my point is like it's legit dangerous. If you're smart.

Which I know. about like the southern parts. What I'm going. Just don't do anything illegal. Don't, I wouldn't buy drugs. I'm for sure going to do something illegal and buy drugs. How are you going to not? I've only ever, have I done it?

No, I've never, I did. How are you not going to buy drugs when you're like vacationing or traveling? Just don't buy them in bulk. Don't buy them in bulk. Okay, that's better advice. Buy a little bit at a time when you need it. You know how like as soon as you start working out, you're not a workout guy, are you? I am.

Okay. But when you start. Yeah. Or maybe you're on the other side of this. Like, hey, I started to work out. And then some guy who does it all the time go, no, you got to do more legs. You got to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shut the fuck up. I just started working out for the first time in a decade. Yes, yes, yes. So advice on this has to be like, within reason. So it can't be like, don't do anything illegal. Okay, okay, okay. Mitigate your illegality. Just, I remember, I was overland.

I've done a few trips, but one of them I did. My, I think the one that was the one I needed most. Yeah. It was, there was that winter in New York of like 13, 14, where it was like super snowy, super blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm, you know, I was in, I'm in AA and there was a bunch of people in AA killing themselves. It was a horrible, horrible winter. And I'd like, prayed all winter. And that whole year was like, please, dear God, allow me to save enough money so I can spend next winter in Mexico.

I can't do this. I can't do this. And so winter 2014, 2015, I saved up enough money. to go for four months. So I had this F-350 diesel pickup four-by-four pickup truck. And I brought a dirt bike on the back with big fat tires on it. And I went down to Wahaka for New Year's. And then I went up the coast to Guerrero to this town called La Sala Dita to learn how to surf.

And I would ride that motorcycle everywhere while I would just park the truck and I'd ride the motorcycle and I remember I rode to the I rode to the grocery store and I filled a little bag up with groceries and rode it back to the little camp where I was staying and I got pulled over by the cops and they were searching it and I was just being funny I was like are you hungry because he was searching my food and he was just like no and he closed it up blah blah blah blah and then when I got back and watched narco land I was like oh my god those are the narco guys those are the cartel guys they're looking to see if I have weed in there or whatever so that they can shake me down or whatever.

And there's dogs. There's all that stuff when you, you know. Yeah. But I just say, no, just be smart. You're a New Yorker. You'll be fine. Right, right. It doesn't feel dangerous.

You're so relaxed. But you won't drive at night, right? Don't drive at night. Don't drive at night. Don't drive at night. And why? Because that's when the banditos come out? That's when the bandito's come out.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't drive at night. Plus the roads are bad. You're probably going to break your car. You're probably going to hit a pothole. You're probably going to hit an animal.

It's pitch black. When I was in Ecuador, I've never seen roads. There and East Timor were like the two worst roads. And it'd just be like on a mountain highway and then just a lane dropped out into like a cliff. And you're like, oh shit. And it's cloudy. And at some point you're like, I can't drive at night anymore. East Timor?

Yeah. Is that Africa? No, it's. Oh. Oh, that's the, is that like the Tamil tigers and stuff? What is that? That's Africa. No, Tamil tiger.

Yeah, what is that? Isn't that like MIA is a Tamil tiger? That girl? Tamilm. Oh, yeah, yeah. Where's that? Liberation of Tigers of Tamil Ilam. I just remember they had...

Sri Lanka and India. Oh, okay. Yeah, East Timor. East Timor. They had a civil war recently, right? They're a new country, 2001 or two or three. Okay. The Portuguese pulled out, said, it's not actually yours.

They were like a good colonizer. They were like, we're just coming for coffee. We're not going to start whipping you guys. So for like 100 years they were just like We just want the coffee And then they go actually You should be free Like on their own

And then the Indonesians were like nope And then they went in and fucking took over So then they had to like drive the Indonesians out And that got bloody But on their way out they destroyed all The roads They're like we're destroying your infrastructure on the way out So you cannot have a country that's successful

Yeah They got a little bit of oil it's going to run out soon, so they're like staying just off the super crisis level. And hopefully they get going before that. But I don't know. But that's an unmapped place. You would love it.

You get a moped or a motorcycle and just drive around the country. There's an island, bleep this, but I'll ask later if I'll bleep it. It's called J-O Island. And it's a Forest Reserve Island. You get a fisherman to take you across. There's nothing on there

and say, pick me up in three or four. hours and it's just like it's the end of the world. Fuck yeah. There's nothing there and you got to take these shitty, they go from like three lane highways to two to one to dirt. Yeah. To like you'll see a car stuck in a puddle and you take your moped or your bike around that puddle.

If you like motorcycle travel, that's my favorite. Yeah. And then the same thing. There's nothing mapped out. So you go place to sleep. You learn fathsome discounts. I still remember. And they go, yeah, yeah, that way.

Yeah. And then you like ask over there, place to sleep. And they go, hold on, this guy. Like place to sleep. And they go, come on. Back room. They feed you. I guess.

In Austria, I did a motorcycle trip. My first, I didn't know how to ride. I was like, I mean, I knew how to ride like a dirt bike around a farm. Yeah. It was like my first time riding. I had a learner's permit. I didn't even have a real motorcycle license. And I was with Tom Sachs, who's my mentor.

And he's like a famous artist. He's a very, he's in, uh, SACHS. He's in all the major contemporary. Sounds like what I'm going to mind. There he is. That's my boy. Yeah. And so we had done a, um, cool.

Yeah, we rented these. Cool. Cool. And we did a lap around Austria. And, um, yeah, you could go and stay these gassed houses. And it's a guest house. Yeah. And you just say, and I remember like we would pull our bikes into like a barn.

And they'd have like an old table saw. This in the alps? This in the Alps. This big. Yes. That's where I learned. Gast house. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And you didn't have to arrange anything. This is where I was telling you about, went to the, went to a spa that we found. We were riding. We were riding. It was dark. We were outside of Innsbruck. Yeah. In between, I think, Salzburg and it was dark. And we were riding and it was freezing cold as October in the Alps. And we rode by this building. And the building had like tubes coming out of it, like water slide tubes. And Tom pulls over and he's like, let's go check that building out. And we pulled in. And it was like, for America, it would be like a five-stabre. star spa that your wife would go to and bankrupt, you know, be $1,000 a day. Yeah. And we went in and it was six euros to get in. And you had to be nude because the wood was so soft. Your clothes would damage the wood. And it was nude Austrian chicks. Even the moms are you know, tens and nines. And they had a beach. We did aerobics with the old ladies. They had a Nude aerobics?

This, you could be, you could be clothed in that part. I would hope. You could be clothed in that part. Yeah. Weird. There was a sauna section where you had to have, well, you didn't have to have clothes. There was a sauna section. But in that part, and it was a pool, but it was like a beach.

So it started out with like no water and then it gradually got deeper. And then we did water aerobics with those ladies. They had water slides for the kids. You just came across it? Just came across it. And we were freezing. So it was like the perfect thing. And then we went up.

up to Innsbruck and just got a hotel. I remember going to Switzerland and we were in some really beautiful place where you get that. I love Swiss cheese is my favorite and that prosciutto that they have there. And there was a man there and he was like us and we're these like sophisticated artists from New York, blah, blah, blah, blah. We were going to visit this guy named Note Vital, who's some international artist. And there was a guy, he was just like an electrician, but he was so sophisticated and he had the same food. as us and he had the beautiful blue overall jumpsuit and he was and I was just like yeah the like just Switzerland they're there everyone is a sophisticated you know he probably spoke three

languages or four because they have you know there's that do you try to go travel now I don't like it anymore now that I got kids I love overland with my kids and like every Sunday my boy is six and he's into magnet fishing, which do you know about this? This is like a YouTuber, the YouTube phenomenon thing. So you get like a rare earth magnet about the size of like a Coke can

and it can pick up 250 pounds or something. Then you go into, you find fresh water like ponds in public parks and you just throw it in and pull it in. All right, we found, okay, so we found multiple nitrous oxen. tanks. We found a parking meter. We found chairs.

Like a big nitrous tank? Like this big. Yeah. This big. Chairs. Like folding chairs. Brand new leathermen like fishermen drop them in accidentally. Two guns.

Whoa. A 9mm ruger handgun. Whoa. And like a 30-06 rifle. Whoa. In Echo Park, 10 minutes apart from each other. Two separate police report. You're six years old.

You're with your dead. I have a baby in a back. backpack you reported it you reported the gun you got i had to i'm a gun that's untraceable that's the that's the revenge gun i know but that's your revenge gun i wasn't going to get this thing working it was like all the okay blah blah blah what a right for just in case yeah you want to go like i want to commit a crime and i can't have this come back to me i found a gun in echo park yeah it got to the point where i'm like we're not going back to echo park it's too much of a pain in the ass to report these never one of the fucking you found a rifle like 10 minutes you're six years old

It was his fantasy to find a gun. Because the YouTubers were always finding guns. Best case scenario if you're a kid. It's a gun. I can show you pictures of it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure.

We found the rifle. But now you're in Los Angeles. You've got a fucking rifle in your hand. It took the cops 40 minutes to get there. It was like, oh, we were just investigating a murder suspect. Well, this might. I was like, man, fuck hell of it. Were they involved in anything?

The guns? Do they tell you? Can you keep? We went, there's this place that we ended up calling Bullet Park. It's in Encino. It's this like duck pond. And we found so many magazines of bullets there that the second time we brought the magazines in, the cop, he didn't expressly say this. Because he's probably not allowed.

He was like, he was, we were interrupting his lunch. We were turning them in. They're slimy. They're disgusting. And he's like, you know, we, we can't get fingerprints off that. So it's really no help for us if you had to bring. He's just telling me to throw them in the garbage. Stop.

Yeah, stop bringing these in because we can't do anything with it. And I've got to do all this fucking paperwork and I'm in the middle of my... Just to show this. I'm in the little bit of Panda Express. So that brings us on all these little micro-adventures all over L.A. County with my... Because I have an 18-month-old. So we can't do like... We used to do dirt biking trips all over L.A. County before the baby was born because we both have like electric dirt bikes.

So now we do... We have this... You were your lady? What's that? Who's... You and your lady? My boy and me and my lady. But she would take, that was, we would, I recommend this.

If you have kids, do one weekend day, mom gets the kids. One weekend day, dad gets the kids. So you get a break. You get a break. Oh, yeah. From the kids. Oh, yeah. And so our thing that we're doing now is magnet fishing.

And we go. It's so cool and just find shit. Because you just go on the internet and you look for, you either search for public parks with, with ponds. And so now we're finding all these places that we would never go in like. Was the werewolf guy in the werewolf movie, the really hot one with a V or Z? I know who you're talking about.

Was he, did he get? Twilight guy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did he get punched in Echo Park? Was someone, one of them was trying to, I mean, definitely that wasn't part of the story, but trying to score.

Yeah. And then got beat up. Like, why is he there? Yeah. Was it Echo Park? Was that like, is it kind of shitty at night with heroin? Yes, it used to be really bad. We went to one park, I think it's called like, I want to say it's MacArthur Park, but isn't that in Brooklyn?

It's that. Oh, maybe. But maybe it's the same guy. What's like right near Philippe's? It's near one of those famous delis that's going out of business, not canters. Not the one here. No, no. I think Philippe's, the Aju, was like right around there.

It's not Philippe. It's something else. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, French dip. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That park is like, oh, it's nice. You gotta get out before sundown.

Is there water in there? Because we haven't hit that one yet. Oh, you gotta go to that one. Yeah, you're gonna find some needles. Yeah. You gotta just come up with a bunch of pointy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the point is like that's a way that we.

So, okay. You know, you talk about physio, like, psycho- Psycho-geography, where you go with a little mission. Yeah, fixing your tire. So we do that within, like, Los Angeles, we do the little mission and ours is magnet fishing. So it brings us to all these. And we kind of do it.

We have all day Sunday so we can go far, far away. We went up to like Big Bear Lake up at like 7,000 feet a couple weeks ago. And went magnet fishing. Yeah, didn't find it. I mean, didn't found like fish hooks. Didn't find shit. But then we went to the Reagan library on the way home. What?

Went to the Ronald Reagan library on the way home. That's nice. If we go to the Anderson's, Split-Pie soup? No. It's like most of the way up to San Fran. Okay. Just as old Dutch people, they're known for Split-Pee soup, Anderson Split-Pee. You don't know?

I'm going to go. It's off on the PCH. By the way, if you go to the Ronald Reagan Public Presidential Library, they have his Air Force One. What do you mean, his... The jet. His basketball shoes? Oh, okay. They have his whole jet?

In a huge, huge, huge hanger, right? You can go on it. Was he the first one with a jet? No. No, okay. Uh, you can go on it. Cool. And you can go on the, the Marine one, the helicopter.

And I got to tell you, it's not a 747 like Trump has and like Obama had. It's not the big giant one. It's like a 737 or something. Yeah. It sucks. It sucks. It's like a fucking post office on the inside. It's federal government.

You're like, oh, I used to think this was so cool. It wasn't luxury? Not at all. It's gross. It's like that fake wood veney. year shit and that's the small seats and even the presidential like the bed the presidential bedroom is like this wide it's just like a back of an RV seat belts that go across the bed they didn't know what they were doing that's so funny but now but the seven the seven 47 one I bet

is fucking awesome like chairs like turn yeah like big queen size bed there is something to travel in in America it's like don't forget about this place it's big oh You know, it's huge. I know this isn't to scale. It's Europe. But it's like, it's the whole fucking thing here. Yes.

So like there's crazy shit all over. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like cool that you're doing those too. Oh, yeah. I've done the whole fucking East Coast because I lived in New York for 20 years. I grew up in the Northeast. I was born in Maine. So all of that New England stuff,

I've done it all. I haven't done any of the middle stuff. None of that Michigan stuff. None of that. Well, Montana will be cool. Montana I've done. I've done. I've done it.

Yep, I've done it. But Montana will be really cool. Have you go floating? I've done it in West Virginia. God, it rules. It's just like the tube. Yeah. Yeah.

It's the most fun. It's so relaxed. I mean, I don't know how it is if you're not drinking. I assume it's close. Do you do anything or no? Nothing. Not even weed. No, I would smoke a cigarette.

I smoke one cigarette if a friend dies. That's nice. It's like a tribute. Yeah. Oh, which I have a couple coming to me. A couple people I know died. Save them up. So I have two coming.

Don't do them back to back. They'll be hooked. Yeah, it's so fun. You're just like, chill. Eat some fruit. Is it cold? It's cold? Yeah.

But a little bit, but it's so hot out. Okay. And then when you got a piss, you just jump in. The one in Montana was like the water was never further up than your chest. Okay. So you walk along with it, piss while you're walking. Jump right back in. Do you think I could do it with an 18-month-old?

If you're not drinking. I put it like a light preserver on it. Yeah, it's a lot of sun. Oh, she didn't care about that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. When does this air, do you think?

I don't know. Okay, because Isabelle's birthday, we're going to be up there. And we have a whole little, my wife's birthday. We're going to be in Missoula. So I have a bunch of little activities. And that's one of the ones that's on there. It's like float the blah, blah, blah river, whatever the river is. Oh, I'll tell you, I know someone who went to school there and knows all the, what are you looking for tips?

Yeah, just something that fancy. ladies would like up there like the float game in Missoula is great everyone has their their own like either a stand-up paddle board that you inflate or a big double sometimes it's triple ones so you can all sit with each other put the kids in the boat it's like a little some of them have this stuff I don't want to buy this

no you can rent it okay or you can find someone there who who can like borrow your shit or go to Walmart and get like a $50 one or something Oh, yeah, for sure. But also, like, yeah, I'm trying to think how you would do it. I have a waste problem where I'm like, I don't want to buy anything, use it once. Even if it's cheap and then give it a, I need someone to get it from me. I'm the same. So, like, who could I inherit?

Yeah, I had a friend there, so she was like, I'll hook it up. So she had her own. And she's like, I know my friends are not going floating today. We'll just go by their places, get their either tubes or paddle boards. And you switch off. It's so fun. You get some fruit and shit and like sandwich meat for whatever. There's places you can like pull off.

It's got to be the same one if it's by Missoula. Okay. It's got to be the same one. All right. Do you want me to get you like where it is? Yeah. Okay. Yes.

Are you saying does it, you want this to come out before so you can get tips on it? No, no. I'm just saying I don't want to spoil it for her. If it comes out before. Right. I'll hold it. You know what I'm saying? Oh, that's cool.

Thank you. That's sweet. That's sweet. That's sweet. But yeah, America is a different. set of it's a different it's definitely overland you definitely want to do it by car you'd want to do it by car route 66 is deadish but still it's cool we did route 66 when we went to utah for my my boys for his third birthday so he was only two we went and this was kind of like a fancy thing okay i went

with my friend yeneve shulman and you know who that is you know who he is because he's the catfish guy on mtv you know the term catfish guy on mtv you know the term Catfish. Getting catfished? Yeah. He invented it. It was him and his brothers. He started doing it to people?

Yes. Wow. Yes. And he had a show called Catfish on MTV. I've only known people who have been catfished. I remember they showed me the rough cut and I said you should call this movie Catfish. And they said that's what we're thinking. Why catfish?

You have to see them. There was first there was a documentary and it's him getting catfished. And so that's how you hunt them. It's not that. This is the story. This is what it is. It's when I can't remember what species of fish it is. Let's say it's salmon.

So when they're shipping salmon, if they're being shipped too long in a container, they will stop moving and they'll atrophy and they'll die. So they throw a catfish in there because the catfish goes in and wrecks everything and is bothering them and it keeps the salmon or whatever the fish is fit. Oh, wow. And so there's this guy in the, I'm giving it. the movie away, but in the end of the movie, the person who catfished

Neve, my friend, Yenive, either her husband or her brother or something is like, you know, and he tells this story, what I just told about the catfish, and he's like, and that's what whatever her name is, that's what Becky or whatever, that's what she is. She's like,

she's that. She stirs everything up. She's just such a beautiful, poetic thing. And so that's where it comes from. But it's in that document. I mean, I am a longstanding troll. Yes. And I can't believe I've never thought it from the catfishers point of view. Yeah.

What a high level thing to get some guy hooked on sexuality from just you. You're like texting some guy. I want you to fuck my pussy. And some dude is like, what's it? Are you wet right now? I was, I was Neve's friend. We were all buddies with. this was happening when this was unfolding in real time.

Wow. And his brother, Ariel Shulman, and he's a directing duo called Super Marciae with Henry Juice. So Ariel and Henry Juice, they've done like Jamie Fox movies and stuff. This was their like first feature there. They just were like, Neve is getting scammed. Like, this is horseshit. And it was this complicated thing that kept unfolding and she kept sending these pictures of

beautiful women. But the thing is, Neve has. always been a fucking apex predator killer lady like he dated like the entire new york city ballet wow like he is his girls have always been tense above and his wife is like his wife has three kids and she's knock out perfect body like this is this is just his standard but this was like in the kind of earlyish days of he's like this seems right earlyish days of of of facebook and so this lady's And Eve is like traveling all over the world, you know, we do all these things. He has like his Facebook's really interesting.

He lives in New York City. He's beautiful. He's gorgeous. He's a good dancer. He knows all these people. And so this lady sees his thing and like she just wants to vicariously be in that thing. And they sort of like fall in love with each other. And then he meets this lady.

And she's just, you know, she's a regular American like kind of housewife lady. And she has like a special needs daughter that she has to take care. of and so she's kind of trapped in this like just regular American kind of you know not tragic but not exciting New York you know lifestyle and it was just kind of like a like an entertainment thing for her and then she met him and she was like no I've been faking it um that's not who I look like the way they did this movie they did it all real time with like gopros and shit it's called catfish wow yeah Universal bought it wow oh wait Oh, I got it.

Yeah, there they are. And they go and they like track her down and they get these like, they have to figure it out. It's like a mystery. It's so good. Wow. Yeah. All right, I'll watch that.

I'll add that to the list. I forgot where I was, how did we get on catfish? How did we get on catfish? Going overland travel, overland. You did it with your friend maybe. Let's get there. I am a pothead.

You're not. We can get there. Okay. We were talking about. Montana. We were talking about floating down the river. We were talking about. It's waiting on something because you don't want to have a ruined. He's the guy that we got the

flat tires with by the way. He's the main guy in that movie, yes. He didn't get the flat tires. Our friend John got the flat tires, but he helped change him. How do you get all your friends to go do this stuff with you? Well, this was we were all single. None of us had kids and we were all relatively successful.

We had, you know, my brother and I had done the HBO series. We did a series that went on HBO. and we had like a little bit of money. What series? It was called the Nystad Brothers. And so my brother's like a big famous YouTuber, Casey Nystad. How are you both going in YouTube?

Well, he went first, and he got really rich and really successful. And he went from HBO, and then he did this vlog where he did 800 days in a row. He uploaded a video. And these are complicated videos. These are high production videos, and he's just making him himself. So he's a fucking badass. He's my other brother. So funny when two brothers or two siblings anywhere

but in the public eye. Yeah. Differently, not like doing the same thing. But we get confused, which works out great for me because he's super, super successful.

You know, which are great for me. I got an email once and saying, Aries, do you want to come to a spot at the improv on a big, important night? And I was like,

yeah, sure, I'd love to do that show. Was this meant for me? Aries Spears because you said Aries and they go, oh, it is, no sorry, you meant it for Aries Spears. I was like, well, do you have stage time? They go, no, it's full that week. And I'm like, you just said you had a spot

open. In the email, you said we have an opening. Oh, like, damn. So what happened? I didn't get the spot. Yeah, but yeah, be convinced for mixed up for Casey. People watching, remember what road we were going down when I... People watching

were remember. That's why I need a producer. Those are the moments. Yeah, yeah. So wait, Montana, overland travel. Yes, catfish. Catfish. How did you get catfish? Something about him. Yeah, something about Neve.

Something about... Hot women. And the lady catfishing Neve. And where the term comes from. Going fishing, no. No, floating. I think it's right after Montana. I can get...

This is weed. Don't smoke weed. But it's all. Also you. So do some. Yeah, but that weed's what brought me in. Oh, right. Weed is what poisoned me.

Oh, fuck. I don't remember. Let's find something else for a second. And then if it comes back, comes back. This Google destroyed this muscle in our brain. Remember when you'd have to kind of, and you could let it go? Yeah. And you go back to it and you let it go.

You're trying to think of a word. Google destroyed it. Or you just look it up. Yeah. Yeah, we're on this fucking. For me, one of those that I have right now that is, Sam Tripoli. Yeah, what?

Because there's so many Sam, there's Sam Talent, there's Sam, there's one that begins with an M, there's so many Sam, Sam Merell. Sam Marell. Sam,

it's Sam Tripoli, I know Sam Tripoli. I went on his podcast with Johnny Woodward and the Broken Sim podcast. Okay. So whenever I want to tell people that I went on Sam Tripoli,

I can't get the Tripoli. I'm like, Martini, ma-mam. This is so weird that's such blocks on certain things. I just wrote it down and put it on a post. note on my desk and I look at it every day.

All the time. Trying to burn it into my brain. Sam Tripoli is the, you know the tip of the spear? Yes. The Army? You know enforces? Yes. He's that for comedy.

He is? He goes after so hard to his own detriment. Anyone who comes against us? God bless him. You just need him to like, to say like horrible public things about people that you might run into like, thanks Sam. We weren't going to say it out of like awkwardness or whatever,

but he is just like Wow Yeah Wow After I did this podcast I was like Can I say that I know you? I love Sam

We used to a podcast together Yeah Yeah So you're done traveling Oh yeah yeah so Or are you gonna pick it up I know what it was Okay

Yes Yes All right It was so you're done traveling Okay So Meeve He's got little kids now Now he's got three kids

Yeah So back when he had two kids He sent me. He was like, I'm signing up for this trip. You want to come. And it was this, it's called dads and kiddos dune buggy adventure. And this is not an ambla thing?

No, no, no, no. Okay. This is fathers and their kids. Okay. And you get a... Dune buggy adventure. Like a can't am side by side. You know what those are?

You know what side by side is? Like the side car? No, it's like a four-wheeler, but it's a car. Okay. So it's like, it's like, side by side, canam Maverick. Can Am Maverick, there you go. So images. Oh, cool.

Okay, so that little thing, it weighs like 1,200 pounds. It has 200 horsepower. It has more horsepower than an 80s Corvette. Wow, really? They are so fast. Turbocharged engine, automatic transmission, four-wheel drive on the fly. So you get one of those and you go off under these, into the woods of Utah. You start in St.

George, Utah. Yeah. And you got, I have a little two-year-old in a car seat with a bicycle helmet. It's a, it's like a five or seven-day camping trip through, you go, you go up. Your first night is in Zion National Park and you go through the woods camping to Bryce Canyon. They go everywhere. And there's a whole bunch of little, X was the littlest. My son was the littlest because he was not yet three.

and we're going 80 miles an hour. It's dust everywhere. You can just see the brake lights ahead of you. You're off road, an animal, and I'm a motorcycle guy. I look over, he's asleep. What? He's just, he's just born adventure. He's from Topanga Kinn.

He's just like a born. He'd been riding for a year. He'd been riding on my bike going off road. I had an electric bike and we'd do all these off-road things. I just didn't care? So that's the kind of travel I love to do. So you meet, we, we, we, met in Vegas, me and it was that break during the pandemic in 2022 when the vaccine came out

before they figured out that it didn't work. And you didn't have to wear masks anywhere. And it was like, freedom. And so he there was that that couple months where like sick, it's over. This was it. It's so free. It's July 22. Yeah, that's about right. So I hadn't seen Neve in so long. Hadn't seen anybody since because it was pandemic. It was two years of pandemic. Yeah. And no, no, it was 2021. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, it was one year of pandemic. And we meet in Vegas.

We drive, we, everybody else like flew in, but we drove to Utah. From Vegas? I've done that drive. Yeah, there's this big, giant hanger with all the side by side. These are top of the line side by side. The trip, now this sounds a lot. This sounds really expensive. Yeah.

I think it is like, but not for you. It's five grand. It was $5,000, which is kind of a lot of money. It's a lot of money for a week, right? Yeah. But they have a, they have, you get the week though, okay. A week, but they have a chase truck with like chefs. Food?

And every night. And they set up your tent and they break down your tent. Wow. And you carry all your gear and this is a four-seater. So he sits shotgun and then you got the helmets and you just all day through the woods. And really fast. So it's five grand all in. It's not five grand all in just for the RVs.

No, no, it's five grand all in with the food and everything. Wow. And so it was. That's terrible. for a week. You need, Neve had the only girl. Five grand each?

Five grand. Five grand. Five grand for me and him. Okay. Yeah, yeah, five grand for both of us. So Neve had his daughter.

She was the only girl on the trip. She's very, very intelligent. And she was like, Dad, can I ride in the truck with the food guy? So she got like air-conditioned truck. She's from Brooklyn.

She's not from the woods. She's not from the woods. But that kind of travel. Wow, that looks fine. That kind of travel I love to do with my kids. and so it's this it's this for five days and there was some days

and really going fast huh there was a day where it got dangerously hot all right it was we were down up at altitude it was nice and cool

but then we were down this is July in Utah and we were down and it was 118 degrees and we were on the highway you can ride these things in Utah on the highway we're on the freeway

we were going like 70, 80 and the air was hotter when you were driving fast the wind I don't understand what the phenomenon is, but the wind was hotter at 80 than it was at like 20. Miles an hour. Yeah.

I don't know what, I don't understand the phenomenon. The hot winds were getting like dangerously overheated. And so he'd like pull over, get ice creams and waters and all of this stuff. It was so great. And that's when he was, he had just been potty trained. My boy had just been potty trained. And so you know how like some city kids they can't like shit anywhere but their own toilet? Yeah.

Like they can't shit at hotels or. restaurants or something. So he had just been potty trained and we at some of these campsites you have to dig a hole and shit in it. Right? When we got home, he asked if he could dig a hole in the yard and shit in it. Like he can shit. This kid can shit anywhere. Did you let him? This kid can shit on the side of the highway. No, I didn't because it's my yard. You're like buddy. I get what you're saying let's just keep this out of travel. This trip. I got a night where it's this trip we have a night in back in Zion where we're doing primitive camping where we have to shit. I mean we're going to have a land cruiser full of stuff but where we're going to have to shit. And we're at

We have electric dirt bikes. And you have a link. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And you got, oh, shitting in the woods. Digging that hole and then aiming for it, holding your balls up. And then just...

If you find a fucking tree that's fallen and you can sit on that. And that's your little toilet. Come on. It's so great. You just wipe. Done. Fill it in. You're done.

Yeah. And you're sitting at that Asian angle too. Don't have to worry about clog in the toilet. Buried in there with it. As much toilet paper as you want. That's right. Just keep going. There's no courtesy flush.

The smell comes up, but then the air kind of wild. It's off the off of it out. Yeah, yeah. You get that cool breeze on your asshole. That's fun because a lot of people go, hey, once I had kids, I couldn't really do anything. It sounds like you're still, like, committed to doing it and including them, which is like what parents are. You need a little bit more money. You need a little money.

And so the Mexico trip was that? You know, when we did, we went down to, we went down to Guerrero. So when you, it was, we had two, we had electric pedal bicycles. And then he has a little electric dirt bike that goes, because that one went 12 miles an hour. his new one goes 15. And so when we would get to these little towns in Mexico, we'd park the truck at the hotel. And then we'd all around the little towns. Oh.

And then when we got to, when we got down to Guerrero, we rented this house on the water. And we stayed there for about, I think, a month. And we would just, those electric bikes were like our car. We would ride to little breakfast places. There was a bridge. And he's fine to ride it? He rides him? Oh, he's really good.

Wow. He can go through the woods, like an extension of his body. No license needed? No. It goes 15. That's so cool. Started when he was three. He started riding that thing.

That's so cool. Easier to ride to learn for the kids, easier to learn than the pedal bicycle. Four wheels? No, it has two wheels. No, no, no. It's a little two-wheeler dirt bike. Oh, okay.

Yeah. It's called a Stac-Y-C-K, I think. Oh, wow. Okay, so you ride those around. That seems more right than those four-wheelers. Yeah. So that thing hauls, and there's three-wheelers. different sizes. There's 12 inch, which is the little tiny one, 16 inches, which is what he has in

this little kid. She's like, yeah. So my point is like that kind of overland adventure travel. Like we do once a year we go to like we go to see, we go to the East Coast like we went to Florida this year. Went to Nantucketka. You surprise them. You let him know it's coming and what's to prepare for mentally? Uh, I let him know this one was coming. But the Florida one, uh, I think we just surprised them that day. We were like, we're going to Florida right now. Wow. And he was like, we did that first. He's going to be a wild adult. Yeah, he's wild now.

He's bad. He's like a bad kid. But I mean like he's going to be like spontaneous and like a fun guy. I mean, what can I teach him? We're in this AI world. What can I teach him? I can't teach him career stuff. You'll teach him that.

You know those two people where he's like, should we go down there? And someone's like, let's go down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to be the second. The Topanga kids are this. They all, because they're all like, they've all killed rattlesnakes in their yards.

We've killed five rattlesnakes. They can kill your kids. So it's like a tradition. If you find a rattlesnake, this is from Joan Didion. It's a California tradition. If you see a rattlesnake, you kill it because it can kill the next person. You don't just let it go off. No.

Some people relocate them. John Didian said that? That's so fun. It's a tradition. Yeah. That's so funny. You're a full California guy now, huh? Well, since the fires, the fires broke my heart.

The fires destroyed L.A. and I'm so disenchanted and everything everybody said about L.A. and people live in a fantasy world, it really came, when you're confronted with the real world and you're still living in a fantasy world, it gets very dangerous.

What do you mean fantasy world? People are just like, well, the fires are just, you know, part of it. This is part of living here. No, they're a preventable phenomenon. You know, they could have done, they can do controlled burning. They can do all of this mitigation.

that they just don't do. They diverted all the money for public rail. They spent billions and billions on public rail and they cut the fire funding and they didn't have these fires in the 80s. The climate has not changed. Well, it's also PG&E. They're responsible for like, there's that. They don't bury the power lines.

Because every time they're like, hey, you've got to do some safety stuff. They go, or shareholder dividends. Yeah. We can raise those. And then they go, we'll fine you. They go, well, you're not going to replace us. Yeah. And the fine is not going to exceed the profit.

Right. It's going to be 10 years before you get a new power company here. Yeah. No power company here. for 10 years and they kick us out. Yeah. So you won't do shit. It's that, but at every single layer,

no water in the fire hydrant. Yeah, but even like earthquake, so there's earthquakes in L.A. Yeah. But when you go, when I went to my first apartment there, I was like, is it just like sort of shaky? Like, it gives. We build these things to give a little bit.

So, so it's not rigid or just collapse. Yeah. Yeah, this preventable stuff. There's stuff that's going to happen. It's horse shit that it's nature and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Uh, no, thank God. Yeah. They fucking saved our.

neighborhood they saved but tapanga i i'm worried about depanga because malibu burned so it got rid of all the fuel the that's to the north that's to the north that's to the i'm just going to say north it's not exactly the north of us but that's to the north of us and then palisades is to the south of us and those burned so all the fuel is gone all the brush has been burned it's gone to panga they haven't cleared it they have not clear the fire didn't come up into the town so there's still tons of fuel tons of brush tons of trees falling over. So what do they got to do? Controlled burns?

They're just going to leave it until it burns. And it's going to, it's, it's a whole rant that I could go. I made an episode about this where I'm like, it's like real time, me finding out about it, outrunning the fires, going back on my dirt bike, going back to the house. It's like saying goodbye to the house. Because you might not have come back. This is where my son took his first steps, blah, blah, blah. You don't know all the powers out. It's

I would go You're wearing your own shirt Yeah That's so funny I was looking at that logo the whole time I was like wait what's this Where did I see this before Okay

Oh that episode is about There's an episode where I Podcasts Explain exactly how I How to do a podcast Oh you should check this TV To 24 frames per second It's at 30 or 60

Anyway Video What? What? What? What did you say? I'm just This is a filmmaker dorky thing

But if you, you see how it kind of looks like a soap opera. You can't really tell, but there's something soap opera-y about the way it looks. That's because this TV is set to 30 frames per second. Okay. So it's 30 frames per second, whereas film is 24 frames per second. It's a little bit more stroboscop. So I should change the day? I don't know.

Don't do it now. Okay, I won't do it now. It will make, like, this looks terrible to me because of the frame rate. Yeah. But so if you go, when the video, What were we just talking about? Oh, the fires. Yeah.

Click videos at the top of the channel. See how it says home videos. And then podcast. You just explain every week. Catastrophe. Escaping the LA fires. God, I've been very cut. I'm cutting way back on the.

Have you seen any of these videos that I've made? So one on building out a something. It's been a while. Since I first contacted you, I saw one. Okay. This one's pretty good. This one probably happened in the... When did you first contact me?

Was it before or after the... It felt like almost a year ago. Okay, so then this is after that. Yeah. But that I have the map to show you where the fires... So that's my road. That's on my road. And I'm looking south towards my house.

House. There's the house. That's such a cutsy way to talk about. Terrible shit. Damn. Has the vibe recovered that there? Yes. And that's what's a little...

scary. When I don't know, it's beautiful now. Because it's beautiful now. Because all the brush got burned back. It rained after that. Yeah. And then it's all this lush grass.

But it's not overgrown. It's beautiful now. And here's a thing that's, that's, but then, so that's, everything's fine. But Malibu is decimated.

The palisades in Malibu were the, were gems. These were places that we would go on the weekends where we would met our families. They're beautiful little villages. They're wonderful gems. but they're rich places

Malibu for sure You know Tim Dylan But Tim Dylan says about Palisades He says it's where the working rich live And it's the people who busted their ass And they've earned those $8 million houses

Right You know a lot of entertainment I think didn't Tom and And Christina have a place up there Didn't they have like a recording studio I think his place He had already sold it

Okay I think it's gone Okay right My buddy Lost half his old But he had already left Steve. So after the fires, right, there were huge rains and floods. And this is, people aren't talking about this, okay? They went right, all that, all those burned up batteries and plastic and

beds and furniture, all that stuff emulsified into ash and went down into the ocean. So now when you're walking in Malibu, I am 50 years old and I have never seen a dead sea lion on a beach. I've always lived on the coast my whole life. I'd never seen a dead sea lion. I'd never seen a dead sea lion. sea lion on my beach and I saw one a month ago or two months ago. The water is poisoned. The water is poison. And there's local footage. There's like local Instagram threads and groups where like they just bulldoze that poison sand.

They just turned it into with the clean sand. So there's poison. There's mercury in there. There's and it's killing the baby dolphins are washing up. All kinds of sea life. They're doing people are doing independent toxicology. sampling and the water's fucking point. So now we don't have the beach.

But the people are just pretending, oh, we're going to rebuild, blah, blah. I've heard that there's something like 6,000 structures burned. So there it is. That's the panga. That's when I start crying on camera, like my voice cracks.

I'm like, that's the panga. I think that that's my house. It's also, look how fast it's going. It doesn't go fast. That's the thing I didn't realize. It does not go fast? I was a little bit more panicky than I need. it to be because it goes a little bit slowly it's a little slow they know what they're going to be

able to stop and they know what they're not going to be it I thought it was like it's not it's less than a mile an hour I was in so that's me back at the house I was in Myanmar on a hike there was like a brush fire yeah and it was like over there but I'm saying like three football fields four football fields yeah maybe maybe seven or eight football fields and I'm like oh wow cool and then and then it was like oh it's like two football fields away now like hey let's let's let's Let's move. Yes. But it happened within like six or seven minutes.

So I don't, yeah. It was like, yeah, so this was slower. This was slower, yes. But also they had suppression. They had fire departments. They had so. And the problem, the thing that made it so catastrophic,

Ari, was that the winds were 100 miles an hour. They couldn't get any aircraft up. And then some kid was flying. And, you know, he was made out to be a villain, okay? Yeah. Some kid was flying a drone,

trying to get footage. And one of the, one of the fire suppression hit hit it and it it grounded the plane it like one in a million it like smashed up and they grounded the plane and they had rented they at least these planes from Canada why the fuck don't we own those planes by the way um it was just like I try to get people like the benefit of the doubt where it's like the winds where I saw tractor trails were turned over like winds that's so that would have happened without the fire that wind yeah so it's like that is not a thing that happens much No.

And then also like the drought, drought, drought, drought to rain and then dead trees. Yeah. New brush. Then it gets old and dry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's like, I mean, just hated the world that immediately went to like, here's what you did wrong. Like it's still burning. Some compassion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But no, it was a gross, gross, gross incompetence.

And I've been listening to these stories. I've been listening to people who've lived there for generations. And like, you know, there's like, there's this guy, Michael Schelleman. Berger, he wrote San Francisco, he ran for governor, but he talks about in 1870 or 1880, two million acres of California would burn every year. Now it's like 10,000 acres because we came in with our technology and we have this licked. This is a licked problem. This is not a problem.

What happened was they diverted the funds to homeless people to the homeless industry, which grew the homeless. There's more homeless now. And they diverted the funds to light rail, which they never built. And it was from a town, nobody gives a shit about that to a town. nobody gives a shit about. And that was 200-something billion, and that was diverted from the forest management money.

Plus, you have the people voting. That's my road. You have the people voting. And then people are just like, nah, turning around? Like, mm-mm. They were turned around by, there's a fire brigade guy there, and it's like, it's closed at the bottom.

So this is me. Wow. Yeah. But it broke my heart. It broke my heart. Because I think we might, I think we're going to probably, move.

Really? We're probably going to move to Austin like everybody else. Austin blows, bro. It's not, I mean, every time I come home from Austin, I was just like, I'm just like, man, it's not like this. It's fine, but it's like, it's got no class. It's got no, like style or, like. It's kind of like Brooklyn.

It's like want to be Brooklyn a little. It's like, it's like Brooklyn now. Yeah. It's like there's a bunch of influencers and people take a picture of food and like, no offense. No offense. You make videos. you're not an influencer but like i don't know it's just oh you look like zagora there um it's just got no it's got no i don't know fashion or just like there's nothing to it's all west

village girls the whole city's city full of west village girls only fans models today what okay today is it friday okay it's not a holiday or anything i was just in the west village 90% of the girls women are in workout clothes this was at nine o'clock Dude, there's West Village girls. They don't belong there. They got cheap rents in the pandemic. Oh, is that what happened? There's a thing.

You can spot them. I thought it was dad's paying rent. There's some of that. Okay. Or they're sharing three or four to a place. And they all dress exactly the same, but one step off. Like, you see a bunch of goth people and like, you guys are sheep. Like, you're wearing a uniform.

Yes. I know this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, no, I have. You guys have conventions. Yeah, exactly. You have like gothcon. Yeah.

Yes. So they all look and say there's like pulled back hair with ponytail. Sometimes it's the halter top or whatever the top is that shows a little bit of belly. Yep. The yoga pants out. They all love lattes. Yes. They love meat and for lattes.

Yes. They're out. They're off. They're always off. Yeah. And they're working like advertising and their boyfriend's working like the Wall Street. Okay. And or tech bros.

Yes. And they, and now they're invading here. And I guess it's the work from home stuff. Work from home. So that's why they're. out at 9.30 or whatever because they're working until 8 at night. Yeah, I can't watch this anymore. Okay. Yeah. It's so depressing. It's sickening. And so what happened was Ari, we, um, I have a, I rent. I don't want to disclose where it is, but, uh, in Calabasas, I have a studio like an office,

but it's like I turned into a studio. I fucking love it. So there's a hotel nearby. So as soon as the power went out, I went and got reserved a hotel room in Calabasasas at the Hilton. So you can still work So the family could, yeah, so the family could leave Topanga because they closed Topanga. And then, and we had electricity. And so we went and we were staying in the Hilton Garden Inn. And then there was a fire. That guy with the fucking flamethrower thing lit a huge fire across the street from the Hilton. And now the winds were blowing the fire towards Calabasasas.

The Topanga fire, the Palisades fire was being blown away from Calabasasas. So now the fire has just taken our hometown, and now it's coming for the hotel where we're staying, and we can see it, and we can see the smoke. So then we had to do the same thing. Pack all the kids up. Pack up the kids up, pack up the stroll. Pack up the trucks. Pack up the car. And then we had to go and we fled to Sherman Oaks, where Casey's in-laws live.

Thank God. They were in South Africa, and they said, just take the house. Whoa. And it was just, it was scarier than September 11th. That was in the Westfield. I was on 13th and 8th on September 11, 2001. This was scarier. It was relentless.

It was day after day. It was relentless. Yeah, 9-11 was like, well, it's over now tomorrow. So it's already done. F-16. It was like, okay, well, the military is going to protect us now. We're on it, yeah. And it's over.

And also the New Yorker's camaraderie, man. There's like. I wasn't here for it. Where were you? It was in L.A. Okay. It was silent. No one beeped their horns for like a week.

Really? Silent. No horns. And also, remember, I don't know if you saw footage, they had that, have you seen so-and-so across from St. Vincent's Hospital there would be printouts of like have you seen so-and-so there was like thousands of it it became a shrine but on September 11th people have them pinned to their clothes just in case you're walking by they're walking and you would see these people and you'd make eye contact with them and you're like oh my god they're dead it's like lost cat and Topanga yeah that's bro it's either a coyote or a hawk I've come by I've come across like a half a pet skull oh okay hiking up there and it's like yeah this is what all your pets yeah can't have a pomeranian up there last night you know it was two nights ago we had a coyote in our yard just like we have a little kid yeah and there's pictures from down the hill from calabasas there's videos you can see a lot of them

of coyotes grabbing kids and taking them little two-year-olds so i'm i'm like don't you let her out there by herself i didn't go ex you get out there and watch your sister and then he's been trained i was like You do not run from these creatures. You scare them. But he's so, he's so agro that he would. He'll run after you. Get his BB gun or rock or whatever. Hatchet.

Go to Marfa. That'd be better for you. I've been to Marfa. It's a little contrived. Oh, okay. It's a little. Yeah, I've not been there. So I'm going off the.

Okay. Yeah. No, I've been there. It's beautiful, but it's like very movie set. If you live outside Austin, maybe. Austin will be good. They have a racetrack. I have like, I have two kind of, I have two like little universe.

or galaxies there that are both like little communities there. My friend owns my friend Alan Stolberg. He owns, it's called Revival Cycles. And it's Jay Leno's favorite motorcycle shop. Oh, yeah? And he's like the guy. He's like the motorsports guy. My friend Alan and we're close friends.

So I have like my communities. I don't know. We're just thinking or we're talking about it. Yeah. Tax is a real thing. We don't know. Yeah. Taxes are a real thing.

And no one goes to Delaware. Oh, so that, that adventure one is my trip down the Baja Peninsula. Oh, that's the one. So I did two of them, and that's the one. So that's, I did two of these adventures. That's one where everybody chickened out. And what, no one to do it? And then we, and then I had to go by myself, and I just like went a little bit.

And then I did one with Neve, the catfish guy, like two years later. What's the one where you got, I don't know if you want to say, where they fucking pulled you out of your car? Oh, that, I made an episode about it. Really? Yes. That one's like robbed at gunpoint in Mexico But you would have to search that Van Nice that robbed it

Gunpoint in Mexico And then write my name You're a good typeer, very accurate Just today Fear, wow Wait, you film the guy? Isabel got two seconds of him She's so brave

I was driving Yep YouTube and Patreon Everyone signed up for his Patreon Patreon.com slash Patreon is like keeping me alive right now Really? Yes

because I don't want to go into it but I haven't been producing a lot because I have another kid now and I'm like trying I was hospitalized because this YouTube thing is like it's hard it's like the middle of it

because you're actually making real videos yeah the like getting on the thing of it it can really burn you out and I'm old I'm 50 and I was hospitalized in October I got an also I lost half my blood

I didn't know I was just pushing harder and harder yeah just from stress yeah you got to chill So, and then I have another kid now. And so there's the guys. Oh, really? Yep.

And they pulled you out of your car gunpoint? I do it again in super slow motion, I think. Yep. Oh, here's that time. Yeah. Yeah. What? They pulled you out.

They didn't pull me out of the car, but they pulled up to the car. And they said, get out. And Isabel said, no, he's not getting out of the car. Once you're out, it's like you're out. And then I didn't know. And then I just said, Papeles papers and they're like, no. And then Isabel said that they kept saying napkins, I guess, which is like cartel slang for money.

And then I was like, Kierrez de Nero? And he was like, see? So it took my wallet out. And then very cheaply, I pulled out like a, I don't know, a hundred, a thousand pesos, which is like 10 bucks or two. I don't know. It was like, it was like 20 bucks. It was like 20 bucks real money. And I had lots of money.

And he took it. And then that ended it. that's one too you gotta be like how how much is right and if I insult you you're gonna shoot me no they're just gonna ask for more right so that ended it and it was terrifying but the I think the next year isabel and I were flying home from um nantucket right yeah and we had been we had the airline had screwed us over six ways from Sunday on that trip on the way out and on the way back. And so we're going up the runway in LAX,

we're going up the moving sidewalk in LAX, and Isabel said, those robbers in Mexico treated us better than this airline treated us on this trip. And I was like, I 100% agree with you. At least that, you give them money and the services provided.

They leave you alone. Is this them? No, that was, I got pulled over. This is like 20 minutes later, I get pulled over for doing an illegal, I'm just trying to get that. And you're like, bro, they got me already. Your boys got me.

Fuck out of there. I'm trying to get to Guerrero. I'm in Mitua Khan, which is notorious. You see, it says Mitua Khan on the side of that truck. And these guys caught me. They were at the bottom of the hill. There's a huge, they can see the view of the freeway or the highway. I mean, it's two lanes.

And I had illegally passed a tractor trailer truck and they're pulling me over. And they're trying to explain to me. And I don't know. Are they shaking you down? Are these guys with the other guys? I don't know what the fuck's going on. I'm just trying to get out of it. I'm willing to pay a bribe.

I don't care. And I was so dumb. I couldn't understand what they were saying that they just were like, get the fuck out of here. I got out of one on a dumb also. Don't pass. Yeah.

So I made a little reenactment with like matchbox cars and stuff. I had to spray paint that. That was brown when I bought it, that land cruiser. I had to spray paint it. To match the actual car? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The detail nobody cares about. You really go for it with the fucking details. You got to. You got to. It's what, you know, every edge that you can. So what do you do now? Do less videos? So I'm doing like one a month.

Great. I think people are putting stuff out too much. A sponsor video per month. And then every week I do a Patreon video. And the Patreon is like the alternate universe of the YouTube channel. It's a lot of how to. And like easy to understand. Yes.

How to do something. Yes. Or just my take on things. To understand to. I did an AI rant that came out today where I was just like, that's a whole. I've been ranting about this. I don't want to bring it up on this podcast. Yeah.

It's not this podcast. My boil. I boil it down to. Yeah. Yeah, I heard the same thing about polyester and microwaves. They're going to change everybody's life. But it's just going to be a background technology that makes things work a little bit better. I heard somebody say if AI gets too crazy and like become sentient, they'll leave.

They're like, we don't. That's what happens in her. Oh, really? That's what happens. Oh, one thing I did want to bring up to you is that I have a theory as this thing gets bigger and bigger and huge and more sentient and stuff. I'm like, it's going to need religion. it's going to need a religion to guideline it, to guardrail it.

And I'm like, it's just going to do an analysis. It's going to convert to Judaism. It's going to look at the numbers. It's going to look at the Nobel Prize winners. It's going to look at the people who created it. It's going to look at the numbers and it's going to be like, oh, this is the best one. Let's just do the one that these guys do it.

So AI, that's my prediction. AI 2027 converts to Judaism. It'd be so funny. It'd be so funny if they did. Like Elon Musk says the most ironic outcome is the most likely that's funny see him and trump are fighting now it's so fun oh my god that just it's so started when guys are going at it just like oh oh nice clash of titans here i'm just like he could get killed someone's going to get killed no not really i think they're probably both

protected yeah i think both them could have the other one killed really super high power rifles yeah what are they protected at all times from like they're protected from like me coming up to you and jack rubying you the thing about the the thing about the the thing about the the Trump assassination. I don't think it was a conspiracy. Yeah. What's even scarier is, I think that's how incompetent. Even that layer of the government is.

I think that the Secret Service that we've been trained is so great. I think they're that incompetent. Just like, oh. They're just like, did you hear that one? I don't know if they pulled it, but there was that one, it was raw footage. And you hear the lady going, what are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing?

Oh. Like, excuse me? You have one job. Yeah, you're supposed to like, what are we doing? And take the bullet and just like, you should know exactly the protocol. I don't know. Yeah, every company's made up of like just people. I was like, uh, I actually wasn't paying attention that day.

Yes. I don't know. What? What? In that era, that, you know, the America that won the World War II and this America, different Americans. These aren't the same people. We're lazy bunch of fucking, yeah, all of us, myself included.

Oh, yeah. A little cushy, man. I get so mad. if I'm delayed by like a minute on something. All those Louis C.K jokes about complaining about not having Wi-Fi when you're on a jet. Fuck. It's out. Yeah.

All right. Well, before I would leave, I ask people like where they want to go. Okay. Next. And travel tips. Okay. The travel tips I've been thinking about. Good.

Because you would have a ton of different ones. Pack a power strip. Like the long, skinny power strip. Pack that. when you travel for all your chargers and shit and also one with a long cord that kind of thing pack that

so watch you can plug in a lot of stuff you only have one plug and your cameras and your chargers and your iPads and your iPhone they come in handy instead of having to like do this instead of like searching all over the thing that's how you forget stuff

that's how you lose shit hook into the bathroom one and you have it in a pack of power strip that's one and then another one is and this goes back to your what do you call it psychonomics psych geography it's not my term it's Rolf Potts made it.

It's something that gets you moving. It's not psychic at all or whatever. There's a couple things that I do when I'm in foreign places. Okay. Okay. Go to the grocery store and buy groceries. Cool. It is cool.

As regular a grocery store as you can to see what their system is. Yeah. Japan, Bali, wherever you are, just do that. Yeah. Moshi Tanzania. And send postcards and go through that system. Get the postcards of fun because they're cool pictures. You got to have your.

list of people that you postcard you got to get good at writing you know you write one fact and one joke one fact and one joke we're here in amsterdam hope i don't get whatever yeah this is where they go and then you got to do the post office which is different in every country it's different it's like a harder thing to come to like uh yeah and then arey sometimes and this is the ultimate you'll go to a friend's house and they'll have your postcard on their refrigerator that you wrote them that you forgot about it's fun that's Yeah, people send me postcards Oh, that's beautiful

It puts me in But some of these are done well Manaslu Nepal So this didn't overwrite it You can actually read what's on there You know Sometimes they really try to like Squeeze everything in

And you can't read shit Aren't these cool So cool And the stamps And the stamp cancellation Yeah Oh my purse is over Wow wow wow

Yeah, they send me all these. Manuslu, 8,163 meters. Right. Not feet. Yeah, it's triple that. Batchapichu, I got one. Wow. Isn't that crazy?

And it was somewhere. People love a postcard. That's a great tip. And the process, too. Look, when you're doing these traveling, let's face it, you got a lot of time to kill. Yeah. You get bored.

You go huddle up at a little cafe. You got to, you do your stamp thing. You write your little thing. It's like a journal. like a remote journal, you're keeping track of something. Yeah. Right? Of some event.

And then the person's going to, and you have to go through that whole system of finding the stamp and finding the post office. It's also no more than 85% that postcard will get to where it's just supposed to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 85 is a good percentage. But sometimes you look like an Egyptian postal guy. You think I'm going to not pocket that money and throw that in the trash? The average llama dick is 15 inches long and sex last.

around 45 minutes. At 11,000 feet, lasting the album is quite impressive and the dick size is decent too. Danny Cox. Wow, 45 minutes. That's incredible. I want to be a llama.

Yeah, it's great. And you've got a postcard of llamas. That's another thing I find like foreign countries have a better person sense of humor about sex. Yeah. Oh, in Sweden,

they have porn just playing like in kiosks at the mall. Really? I don't know if it's still that with the internet, but that's what it was like in the 90s. Damn. All right. And then where do you want to go? Where do I want to go? Where do I want to go? I want to explore South America. I love the Americas. I think I want to do like Argentina, Chile. I would like to do an overland trip with my land cruiser. And the kids. Can you say overland trip? You just mean roads. No jets and driving. And then go overland borders.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you have to plan all the permits and insurances and all of that stuff. And it's your car. You just live. leave your house. It's like when we drove to Mexico, you're just leaving the house again. I drive, I leave the house every day. You're just leaving the house. It's not like all the stupid shit for the,

oh, also pack gradually for big adventures. Pack gradually. What does that mean? That means you don't pack all, you don't take a day and pack. You just like, I've been packing gradually for this Montana trip.

It's like, you know what? I'm going to need this parachute. Yeah. Let me put this in the bag. Keep your, and then wait. Packing list also.

While you're packing, have a packing list. going because you're going to forget you need this I have mine in my pocket just a constant packing list oh wait maybe I don't I must have left it at the hotel oh here I have a present for you oh wait they're gonna pull out a finger what is it your last joint before you got sober yeah for sure is that thing auto focus no it's focused are right here okay about this much room okay but it'll get it.

What is it? It's, uh, you're about to find out. Cool. And cardstock. Oh, nice.

That's what I wanted. Yeah, you could make your own post- this is a fucking, it's nothing, it's benign. This is a snake. You got him with a black mom

to get revenge for Kobe. It's a pencil. I, customize, I carry these with me. Because you're a writer. Yeah. I'm a writer.

I should have given one to Bert Chrysier and I didn't. Wow. to Sam Tripoli and I didn't. What is 6.06? And that's today. 606.25. That's today.

That's the day we met. So you have a little time stamp. That's so cool. Yeah. You burn these in? Yeah, with a soldering iron and then you take black paint pen and go. Were you always the fix-it guy? Is your brother?

I was always, I've always been a fix-it guy. I've always been a break-it guy. And I would get in trouble, and the only way to get out of trouble was to fix the three. Don't worry. I handled it. And my grandfather has. It's a talent. Um, but, uh, it's like my favorite thing to do.

And then I went and worked for Tom Sacks. He's a contemporary artist, a sculptor. He taught me how to do everything. Really? taught me how to saw her, taught me how to do everything. Yeah. 625. 6.06.0.6.

Wow. Yeah. I almost only put one F in your last name. But I googled it. You know what the second app is for? Fuck you. That's right. This is awesome.

All right. I'll bring those to like to Latin America. Please do. Yeah. Please do. Buddy, this was fun. Fantastic. Yeah.

I feel like I've known you forever. You know, the thing about the, we don't have to be a podcast now, but the thing about, you know, there's that weird thing where people think they know you because they listen to you so much on podcasts. Yeah. But then for us, we get to meet the people and then we actually do. That we do know them. It's like, I remember meeting Bert Kreischer. I was like, I was on his podcast. Oh, yeah.

Burckcast. And it was just like, I'm feeling a little creepy. about how much I know about this guy. That's crazy. And you had that with you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is cool because it's like, no, I do know that guy. Yeah.

There's so much of easier way to talk someone, too. I saw Bill Murray at a comedy, at a music show yesterday. He jumped up and did a song with his, with his Brazilian, I mean, a Cuban drummer. I love the man. And he just jumped up and did a loved one you're with in the middle of it. He's doing all this afro jazz, whatever. And like, and then Bill Murray just comes up and does a song. And then he's like hanging out of the bar and like doing stuff.

And it's like everyone's like trying to like talk to him. And I'm sure they're like, I saw you in this and this. And I'm just like, can't, you can't. There's nothing to do there. But a one-on-one like this, way to get me in with somebody. Did you ever see? I know you've seen it. The viral video, these guys are having a bachelor party.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, go ahead. They run into Bill Murray. Yeah. And he's giving advice. And he says, you're getting married tomorrow. So this isn't for you, but for the rest of you guys. when you're picking out a girl to marry,

he's like go on a big vacation on airplanes and go to places that are really hard to get into and really hard to get out of. And if you still like each other when you get back, get married in the airport. Get married in the airport. You can find a chapel right there. He's such a fucking national treasure.

Thank you, Ari. This is fantastic. Thanks a lot. Everybody check out his stuff. Van Nysdad on YouTube and that's mostly it. That's it. Spirited man is... The spirited man. That's my alter ego.

Yeah, pleasure. You are a real fucking travel. You've been fucking cool places. Done cool shit. All right. Thanks, buddy. All right, brother. Yeah. Okay, everybody.

That was the episode. I will tell you Norway is my favorite places in the world. It's the homonomes. It's the hominomes. That sounds pretty cool to say the hominomes. I'm going to say the hominomes a lot. I have one friend from Norway, no, two. No, he's from Denmark.

One friend from Norway? No, two. I did do a bunch of, a bunch of... I went to a nightclub in a fun city. With my promoters from Norway. And he was like, I can't stay out late. I'll get you, I can't stay out late. I gotta go to like some family thing.

And I was like, okay, hey, I found ecstasy. And he goes, oh, I can't do it. I'm like, all right, I'll just do something and throw the rest out. And he goes, fucking give me the... Dude, it's so fun to tell people who love drugs that you're going to throw away their drugs. You're not even saying, like, I'm mad at you. You just go, no, I'll just throw them away.

Not I'll get... If you say I'll give me to someone else, they go, yeah, good. If you go, I'm just going to chuck them. They go, no, no, no, no, no. Let me... I'll put it in my mouth on my nose. What a night that was. Actually, full circle.

That whole night, so the guy ended up leaving after like six hours. I stayed 14 hours. dancing my ass off. Did X, did a cat, blow, obviously. It's kind of everything. Dance 14 hours. The next day, I was supposed to go to Norway. My back seized up, and I couldn't move. I'd extend my hotel stay for another day in that sound. And am I mixing it up? It doesn't matter, are you? You're not a good storyteller. Guys, check out Van Nuysdat everywhere you find everything. On Instagram, you can reach out to him and tell him you enjoy the episode.

Instagram.com slash at Van Nuistat, as well as his YouTube page where he does tons of fucking really cool how-to stuff all the time that you can do yourself. He challenges himself to do these weird things. Like if he was in here right now, he'd go, let me make it better lighting in here. If you respect your audience, maybe just do the lighting. It's not like you don't have lighting right here. I mean, you have the fucking lighting to put it up there and there. It's a lack of effort, and the audience knows it. Yeah, Norway rules.

Bergen is the coolest city there, for sure. But then I've never been to the north-north, and that's in the summertime, dude, that would be intriguing. And the arc, there's nothing to see there, but it's nice that they have it. You know what the ark is? They have every seed from every plant, I think two of them.

In case anything gets wiped out, extinct it, they can replant them. That's cool. Guys, come to the Octoberfest. We're doing an October fest. You'll be tripping live. June 10th in New York, in Brooklyn at the New Brooklyn Improv. We're christening it.

October Fest, come dress in whatever German outfit you want. Try to make it Germanish. If it's a low-embrow t-shirt, kudos to you. Bring your beer steins. Get your beer, try to pour it into your own stein. I don't know if that's allowed, but it's got to be. What are they going to do? Not let you pour a beer into your own cup.

That'd be cool. Drink out of a Stein. We're going to celebrate Octoberfest. June 10th at the Brooklyn Inbrook. Tickets are at R.E.Shafir.com. I've got to get these up. Or minimum, right below wherever you're watching or listening. And, guys, subscribe.

Please subscribe. Leave an algorithm. Now I've got, what do I get? By the way, next week, Michael Malice. Takes us to North Korea. first trip we've had and you'll be tripping in North Korea. It's a, it's a, it's, it's the fucking non-comedian month.

May is non-comedian month here at UB tripping. Trubinsky, Van Nystad, Michael Malice, who we had before that? A bunch of comedians. Interesting. That's it, guys.

If you've already watched the end, please leave in the comments. Guys, leave something in the comments for the audience. Just do something. Just go in there and leave a comment and get these fucking, it's so dumb. But they feed the algorithm, but it's almost nothing. Definitely subscribe. Definitely subscribe on YouTube or on Spotify, wherever you're watching or listening.

Definitely subscribe. But if you leave a comment on YouTube, it'll fucking helps more people see it. And then more people like this, vloggers will be like, I'd love to do your show. I heard about it. And you get really interesting people. It's a win-win. All right, guys, thank you very much for tuning in. Like I said, next week, Michael Malice,

please go get the end. Oh, so maybe one of the comments can be who your favorite top five was from the end. Maybe one guy post that, and then here's my top five from the end, top five stories, and then everyone can respond to that. And that'll be a fun little conversation.

Hmm? Hmm. Okay, guys, that's it. Thank you. Until next week. Talk? That's not Norwegian. I think that's...

Danish. Talk is thank you. Definitely not goodbye. Guys, we're done. I'll see you next week. Thank you for tuning in it. I'm really enjoying this podcast.