You Be Trippin' - Paris, France w/ Mark Normand | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir
Episode Date: July 22, 2024Follow Mark on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/ SPONSORS: -Visit http://FoundationCigars.com and elevate your cigar journey today! -Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at�...�https://shopify.com/trippin , all lowercase On this episode of You Be Trippin, Mark Normand takes Molly and talks about his time in gay Paris where eating takes forever and public drinking is encouraged. The two also discuss the chill vibes, smoking at cafes, walking around the cobblestone streets, and not being on your phone. Other topics include: Moulin Rouge, street performers, race relations, escargot, and a sex show. Paris je t'aime. You Be Trippin' Ep. 24 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Where you been and where you going?
This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah.
We're gonna talk about travel today.
It's UB Trippin', yeah. Hello everybody, welcome to UB Trippin', yeah.
Hello everybody, welcome to UB Trippin',
the only travel podcast in the world
that's also on the internet.
I'm Ari Shaffir, your host.
I love traveling, I love hearing
about other people's travel.
And today, we have a world traveler himself.
A great comic, one of the best in the city,
and thereby in the world.
Wow.
His own special, Out to to Lunch is on YouTube right now
with over 600 million hits.
His podcast, We Might Be Drunk.
That's Jews, you're thinking of Jews that died.
Six million.
It's the number one drunk podcast on the internet
and Two Senses of Stories is now turning into a book
made by Simon and Schuster.
Please help me welcome Mark Norman.
Mark. Hey, you're gonna get in trouble for you be trippin'. Why? Now turning into a book by Simon and Schuster. Please help me welcome Mark Norman.
Mark?
Hey, hey, you're going to get in trouble for you be tripping.
Why?
Well, it's a little appropriating Asians or whoever speaks that way.
Ebonics?
Yeah, maybe.
Mark, where are we going today?
I guess we're going to Gay Paris.
Going to Gay Paris.
I'm soaked, by the way.
I should tell the crowd I'm really turned on.
No, I got caught in the rain. So I rode a bike here in the rain. That's crazy. Oh, you by the way, I should tell the crowd I'm really turned on. No, I got caught in the rain.
So I rode a bike here in the rain.
That's crazy.
Oh, you rode the city bike?
City bike, which I love and it wasn't raining
and then I got on the bike and it just.
That's the worst and you can't stop
because you're on the city bike, time is of the essence.
Time is of the essence, I wanted to get here on time.
It's the worst too, you're like,
if I left two minutes earlier.
I know, brutal, so my whole body's soaked.
Why'd you go to Paris? I mean, as if you didn't have to ask, but like, why did you go to Paris?
Well, see, this is the thing about me. I started, you know, I grew up pretty broke. There was no
food in the house. I was a poor comedian for years. I moved furniture. I was a janitor. I was gay.
And then I met this lady, the gal I'm currently engaged to, and she said, why don't you go on trips?
You got a little money now,
and I'm like, I can't go on trips, I gotta work.
It's crazy, it seems foreign,
especially when you're, I have to go on stage every night.
Yeah.
To then go take one night off,
you're like, no way, but from take one night off,
no way to go to a foreign place for fun.
Blew my mind, I couldn't wrap my head around it,
I was like, well, should I set up a show?
She's like, no, don't do a show.
Just go.
It's so hard.
Yeah.
She's like, have you been to Paris?
I was like, no.
And I speak a little French.
And she's like, I've never been.
Let's do it.
Normal people go to Paris.
Normal people go to Paris.
Fucking fat Arkansasians go to Paris.
Yes.
Yes, so after a year of convincing me, I said, fuck it.
We bought the tickets, and we we went and it was amazing.
Wow.
What were you looking forward to?
Like, all I wanted to do was sit at cafes
and write and smoke hand-rolled cigarettes and drink coffee.
It's so-
What were you into?
It's so pretty there.
Because it's so old.
Everything here is built in 1981.
It's a 7-Eleven, it's a Pinkberry.
And there it's just so pretty and old like, you know
There's a I think four or five cities
Based after Paris in America because we didn't know what the fuck we were doing really like Paris looks good
Just Philly is Paris as a couple other ones Philly is like mottled after Paris. Yeah, it's so pretty everywhere
You turn you're just like that's crazy the way the balconies kind of ah I love it I love it the
curvy streets with the buildings curving and the cobblestone and the sidewalks and the cafes and
the restaurants and the awnings I love and it's just the awnings and the river there that river
that goes through with the bridge the Seine yeah yeah and so you know Arc de Triomphe and Washington
Square Park is based off the Charles de Lisay
Well, let's talk about this just for a second. So I got home from Paris to do my own episode about Paris later
It'll be a different experience than yours. Okay, but
You're seeing all these beautiful that arc from from Washington Square Park. Yeah is there's like all over there
There are lots of arcs. They're up of the 10th and are these, and all over. This arc they gave us is a fucking bullshit arc.
Really?
It's a little nothing, tiny little arc.
Arc Normand.
Well, it's dedicated to George Washington.
If you go up and read it, it's all about Washington.
Oh, interesting.
I guess that was a gift.
But see, we just copied everything,
because they knew what they were doing.
Right.
So.
What'd you get into when you were there?
So you land, you're with your chick.
It is a romantic city, right?
That's beautiful, it's unbelievable.
And we got an Airbnb and it was cheap there.
We got it right in the heart of downtown.
Like look out the window, and I have photos.
Yeah.
We would bang, we'd bang in this Airbnb
and then she'd be naked walking around.
We'd drink a little espresso and eat chocolate.
And she looked out the window with her tits out
and I said, why don't you scare some of the Parisians and
Good body to great great cans and I snapped a photo and I'm it's it's framed in my house now. Oh, that's great
I think I've seen it. Yeah, maybe I think I've seen it cuz I was like was that on Instagram like no
I did it. I put it on Instagram. Yeah, like a shadow behind the whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it's just just
Half a boob foreskin on the side there
And we did every tourist thing would you like what would you do we did the Louvre the catacombs the Eiffel Tower
Versailles you went up the gardens of Versailles. Yeah. That's far away right? Yeah, that was a good train ride.
Okay, yeah, I didn't go to that. What was that like? It was beautiful, but I mean I hate to say it
but you get to a garden, it's a garden, you know, you're like, ah, they have the big bushes that are shaved into a
pub or whatever and all that so it's pretty and we did this is how trashy I am.
Yeah. You know, you start talking about going to Paris on a pod,
and I had a couple of twos gays give me drugs,
and they're like, here's some Molly.
Wait, in Paris?
No, no, before.
So I brought Molly to Paris.
Taking a chance.
Antrooms.
Taking a double chance.
Big chance.
White room. Paid off.
Paid off, got through, and we took Molly at the Louvre
No, wait while you walked in before then went Wow, but
It was a blue rock
So I think we took meth
Well, we still took it my sometimes comes not powdery but like in the little rocks
Oh, okay, this is real little ones a big rock
Oh, and we just chiseled a little off and popped it.
It tasted like pure hell.
That sounds like Molly though.
Oh it did?
Molly's, it's worse than any imaginable taste.
It's not just sour, it's like,
what the fuck?
It was so bad.
And I just ended up shitting my pants the whole time
and I remember being cracked out and like kind of sped up
and it was a horrible horrible horrible time
It's a little chick take some she took some she hated it. We were at the Mona Lisa just like
Scratching and tweaking. Yeah, and we looked like idiots and then we got out of there
The Louvre is the most famous museum in the world. Yeah, it was pretty great and that Mona Lisa was there and it was fun
It's cool to see it. It is right. It's little, it's like that big.
Yeah, I've heard that.
Yeah, and there was a lot of people around.
Fat tourists.
Fat tourists, fat Americans with fanny packs
and Mickey Mouse shirts.
It was embarrassing.
You worry at all about being a tourist in places like that?
I do, yeah.
I don't wanna be that guy, but.
What do you do?
I don't know, I just keep my mouth shut,
but I get pretty drunk on these trips,
so I'm sure I'm like, hey, which way is Broadway?
And they're like, Jesus Christ.
Dude, what'd you drink when you were there?
It's wine, right?
Or did you drink all this stuff?
I'm not a huge wine guy, but my friend is a foodie,
and he's like, you gotta go to this place.
And we went, and it was one of those,
it was so nice with the foam,
they do the foam on the food.
You ever see the chef do foam?
That's like when you really hit the big time, FOMO.
You never did the foam?
No.
Oh, give that to Google,
all these guys on Food Network are foamed out.
The foam, what kind of foam?
They do a foam and it's this weird flavored foam
on top of a piece of duck or something.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, it's pretty popular in the foodie world
when it's stupid.
And you just want a good meal, but it was too nice.
Sometimes it's like, it's far under the table.
I really don't care where you got it.
Yeah, I just want to eat and.
There's no lemons in this region.
I'm like, well then import one.
Yeah, please.
And it was way too expensive, and the dollar,
and here's the problem with Paris and most of Europe,
the check takes forever.
They cook the check.
I'm like, where's the check?
They're like, it's coming, sir, it's coming.
Impatient America, oh, I'm like, I gotta get out of here.
I want to see the city.
I'm done, what am I, I sit here?
Yeah, that's what List said, it's exceptionally long,
and then think even longer.
Yes, they draw it out because it's like part of the process.
It's the art of the cuisine, the restaurant.
I'm like, I want to eat and go.
But I'm a douche.
Somebody told me, Rolf Batz told me,
it's us taking wherever we're from mentality
into another place and trying to apply it.
Right.
But it's never be applied.
Yeah, pretty much.
It's like going to a pizza place here.
Oh, shit. Shut up, shut up, sorry.
That's Macron, he's the French.
Oh, this is the fucking,
oh, Joe Rogan says no side effects from,
what's it called, from the COVID, hello?
Hi.
Hey, Mr. Chauve.
No, listen, guys, I'm never gonna buy drugs from you. So usually you hang out right about now. Why, Mr. Sheriff? No, listen, guys, I'm never going to buy drugs from you.
So usually you hang out right about now.
Why?
What happened?
I don't want to buy any drugs.
Why?
What happened?
Nothing happened.
I got ivermectin once because I thought that was a cure for COVID.
I'm not interested in buying drugs over the phone.
What do you got for monkeypox?
You got any monkeypox drugs?
Okay, man.
Take me off the list.
It's every day, three times a man. Take me off the list.
It's every day, three times a day.
Schindler's List.
Please, help me, human to human.
All right, that was great.
Wow, you talked to a telemarketer like a human being.
I've never seen that.
So one time the guy was like,
I was like, can I talk, right away he called,
but can I, it's 310, whatever,
and then any four numbers, I block it,
but there's a thing of a thousand choices.
No, 10,000.
Fuck, I'm never gonna block them all.
And I was like,
can I have a seat manager please?
And he goes, mm-hmm.
And I was like, hey man, please, I'm never gonna buy stuff.
You take me off?
He goes, buy 200 pills.
I'll take you off.
I'm like, pills of what?
He goes, I don't think.
I'm like, no way, no way.
You're not gonna take me off.
There you go.
Yeah, it's the culture of like, well we're,
it's like if you go to a small town from here
and you're used to New York, like move.
And they're like, why?
They don't even get it.
Exactly, New Orleans is like that.
Hey, how you doing?
How's your mom and them?
And you're like, just give me the coffee.
Yeah.
Come on.
No hello first?
No, no hello, we don't know each other.
Did you go to the bakeries and stuff?
I did, I did the bakeries, I did the cafe,
I got a baguette. Oh, that's fun, right? I saw a few baguettes and then, yeah, just rode bikes and
really did it up. We went to Moulin Rouge. Did you really? Yeah. I walked by it. What was it like?
It's beautiful. It's smaller than I thought it would be and it's so ornate and pretty. It's
like a Wes Anderson movie in there. Are you supposed to dress up for that or no?
Nah, it was a bunch of fat, more fat tourists. We saw a sex show
Yeah, we did it all what yeah
we just went in a bunch of guys were plowing some lady and she was like ah and it would rotate and
Then when you when she got away from the audience she was like
No, I want to get back in front. She was like, ah, it was like every experience I've ever had Wow
Yeah, what they have sex shows in Paris. Oh, yeah And then when you get back in front, she was like, ah! It was like every experience I've ever had. Wow. Yeah.
What, they have sex shows in Paris?
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
I didn't know that.
That whole nightlife area gets pretty wild.
Down there, where Moulin Rouge is.
Yeah, exactly.
Damn, I walked by it by accident once.
I was like, oh, this is it.
Yeah, yeah, it's tiny.
That's one of those things that it's like,
if you and I were there, it would not be on our list.
Yes, you're right.
But, one in Paris.
But I'll tell ya, it just felt better there.
It feels easier.
Like, we're so up our own ass,
and hey, what pronoun are you?
And, you know, kill yourself, and you're a racist.
It just felt easy.
Like, I remember seeing,
I'd see like a 16 year old couple
walking with a bottle of wine
and he would put his jacket on her
and they would go to some party
and then we went to bars every night
and they were full of young people drinking
and they all were very nice to us and said hello
and we just connected with all these people.
Then there was one night we got shit faced
and there's this big row of stairs
looking out over the city. It's like a famous spot, I got a photo of it. was one night we got shit faced and there's this big row of stairs looking
out over the city it's like a famous spot I got a photo of it and we just sat
there and got drunk with like 400 other couples wait outside outside just it was
a beautiful night like a church yes I think I know what that was like cascade
of stairs and the city is right there and it's like a popular hangout. Yes, Montmartre. That's it, right? Montmartre.
Montmartre, yes.
I just went, that's the only reason I know
is because I was just there.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, but they have all locks on the fence.
Yeah, yeah.
Lock for your love.
Right, right, it was beautiful
and I was pretty hammered all the time.
And you just sit outside and drinking whatever they got.
Drink, that was it, everybody had bottles of wine and beers.
The public drinking is so nice in countries
that don't give a fuck.
And they don't abuse it.
We're out here like, ah, they're just chilling
and having a good time.
Yeah, we were all dancing into the class
for our writing class out there.
Yeah.
And we're all there where this Tango areas are
by the river a little further down.
And then cops would come by.
And it was like, shh, hiding.
And they would come by, like, hey, guys, if they're empty,
can you throw them right out?
Oh, that's great. Especially for bottles. Yeah. Yes. OK. And then you're like, and they would come by and I was like, hey guys, if they're empty, can you throw them right out? Especially for bottles.
We're like, yeah.
Yes.
And then you're like, we can take these out?
Like, it's just the idea, like who gives a shit?
Good atmosphere, good vibe.
Bonjour, everyone.
Click on the link right now to subscribe
to where you are listening.
I'm so fucking bad at typing.
You would think if I made a living doing impressions
in that world anyway, accents,
these things could all be added to help my standup.
And yet, I'm below a fucking even average person.
I've been to these countries
and I can't do a fucking accent.
Guys, wherever you are,
please subscribe to this podcast right now.
If you're listening on Spotify,
if you're watching on YouTube, wherever you are,
take this moment while I read Mark Normans tour dates
out to you to subscribe.
Did you guys have a good fucking Shroomfest?
Happy Shroomfest everybody, today is the last day.
Shroomfest, I am out in the woods somewhere,
losing my mind and cuddling up next to a nice piece of moss.
Who doesn't love mushrooms?
Mark Normand is a standup comedian.
You can get all his dates at punchup.live slash marknormand.
July 26th, Rockford, Illinois.
July 27th, Rochester, Minnesota.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm just gonna read these dates through August.
Hampton Bay's New York, Richmond, Virginia.
Greensboro, North Carolina.
Anaheim, California,
Thousand Oaks, California, Redding, Pennsylvania,
Red Bank, New Jersey, Guadalajara.
Wait, what?
And Ciudad de Mejo?
August 29th and August 31st.
Guess who's gotta come back for another episode
of Ubi Trippin?
Yeah, Mark fucking Norman is right.
He's doing shows in Guadalajara and Mexico, god damn it.
Colorado Springs, Fort Collins, St. Louis, Missouri,
Atlanta, Georgia, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale,
and Portland to wrap up September,
and then doing some Canadian gigs, London and Toronto,
Newport, Rhode Island, Monterey, Oakland, Winnipeg, Winnipeg, Edmonton,
and then Cleveland at Hilarities at the end of October.
Get tickets at punchup.live slash Mark Normand.
You can also follow him on Instagram,
at Mark Normand, Mark with a K, Normand, one word.
He's also in Protect Our Parks, a podcast that I created,
and Joe Rogan had the guts to see through
and make it a regular thing.
You can also subscribe to UBTripnPod,
at UBTripnPod on Instagram, and that's it.
Guys, I have nothing else to promote.
It feels pretty nice.
Let's get back to the episode.
Please leave in the comments any of your favorite experiences
in Paris or in France in general.
And also, I am reading these,
especially for the first day of the YouTube.
I read the comments.
If you have any suggestions for,
every Monday morning at 8 a.m. comes out.
If you have any suggestions for guests, I've listened to them.
I got Juan Tandon coming on from your suggestions, everybody.
I got Hamilton Morris from your suggestions.
Anyway, let's get back to the episode.
Bonjour, wait, adieu.
See, this is why you're a special hebe.
Why?
Because you said, I'm going to go take a writing class in Paris, and you do it.
Or I'm going to go live in far off China without a phone and sleep on the ground, and you do it.
Yeah.
Who does that? You're like a guy on a Tinder bio that would fuck your girlfriend.
You know, like, I love to read in China
and I take writing classes.
You seem special, I don't know.
Yeah.
He had elephant pants.
He did something to me.
Exactly.
So that's you.
But you're doing it more now.
I'm trying, I'm trying.
I'm actually on a trip.
You're actually going, you went there with a purpose,
with like a writing class.
It got me there, I would never have gone otherwise.
Oh really?
Like no part of me was drawn to France and Paris in any way.
Like there's certain cities,
I usually ask these people this too,
there's certain cities that like,
or not cities, but countries that'll like call to you.
Yes.
And there's no reason or rhyme to it.
Yes.
It's just this happened, I'm never interested in Russia,
but if I get an all expensive trip to Russia,
of course I'm going.
I'm not like, fuck that place.
Sure.
But like.
Fuck Ukraine.
Fuck Ukraine, absolutely, never stopped there.
A lot of from Ukraine, you know, it's not as publicized.
And Nazis.
Yeah, Nazis.
But certain countries, so do you have any like that,
that are like on your mind?
I don't know what it is, but Amsterdam,
I just love that, the way the city looks and feels,
it just speaks to me.
I've been there about five times and I just,
I don't know, I'm in love with Amsterdam.
And I know it's hack.
It's not hack, it's a cool place.
It's so pretty and the people there are cool
and good looking and smart and they're on bicycles
and they smoke weed and they drink beer at lunch
and the canals and the,
ah, it's just, you can't beat it.
There's another episode.
Oh, we'll do that one next.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm gonna have people in for multiple places.
Same guest, multiple episodes.
Oh, cool, all right.
Especially if you've been places, right?
You can repeat easily.
I love cities.
Even American cities, I think, have a vibe
and a personality.
How, oh, interesting. Yeah, I mean, that vibe and a personality. How, oh interesting.
Yeah, I mean that's why a lot of songwriters
like Great Sufjan Stevensong about Chicago,
like Atlanta as a TV show,
New Orleans as a million TV show,
you wanna capture that.
You know what they say about New Orleans,
you never read Gods of America,
you don't read much, do you?
I barely do. Nah.
It's one of the few books I read,
don't make it seem like it's not.
Okay.
Gods of America, I was talking about all these people
that came from wherever to America,
and they brought their gods with them,
because they worshiped, you know, whatever.
And then they kind of stopped worshiping their gods,
so their gods are like these actual things
that are just like, no one's worshiping me.
And so then they lost their power.
And then new gods, gods of the internet,
gods of money, gods of sex, they've all come in
and beaten up the old gods.
But they said, like, this new recruit,
they're showing them everything.
It's like, we gotta go to New Orleans.
He goes, oh, we'll need a passport for that.
He's like, why?
It's not America.
He's like, what do you mean?
It's like, it's in the border,
but it's a different place.
It's true, it's a wild, wild west of the South.
Yeah.
What were the good foods there?
What did you really like when you were eating it?
I don't think the food spoke to me.
I'm from New Orleans, which is very foodie,
we live in New York, which is foodie.
In Paris, didn't speak to you.
It's okay, these are all everybody's experience.
Wow.
I mean, I had good food, and I had good croissants
and all that shit.
Sal said the same thing,
because I was unimpressed with the food there.
Yeah, it didn't blow my mind.
And I'm not saying it's bad food.
I would rather the city and the experiences than the food there.
It's a lot of bread and cheese, which I don't love.
I got a loaf and a fucking thing of cheese and just went to one of the gardens out there
and just sliced it and wrote in my journal and sliced cheese and baguette until I got
nauseous. Didn't you say you had a sandwich once thatette. And it was like, till I got nauseous.
Didn't you say you had a sandwich once that was like?
That was in Italy.
That was in Italy.
Another trip my lady was like, we can just go to Italy.
And I was like, fuck it.
So we went to a Malfi coast in Pompidou.
Oh, that's when you got the great sandwich.
Yeah, yeah, it was a bodega.
And she just was like, can I get a tuna sandwich?
And this guy took a half an hour to make it
and it was the best tuna sandwich ever.
Well, that's what I loved about Paris.
They did take time.
Like you order and you're like,
where is this already? They're making it from scratch. There's no escargot like buffet
where they're just waiting. Did you have escargot?
I did. I've had it before, but it's pretty good. I wouldn't order it every day.
Since you're there?
Yeah. Gomez said he went to Italy and he ate cheese, bread, and wine every day and he lost
weight.
That's the thing about the food there. It's not processed horse shit.
It's like their FDA is better or something.
It's like their gluten is not the same gluten we have.
I definitely I'm not saying or I don't know the deal, but it's like,
yeah, you're eating cheese and bread all day and you're like, how am I losing weight?
Yes. How am I feeling healthier?
It's very strange, but magical place.
What what was it like coming from, this is what I had,
coming from Paris, just a gorgeous city, to this city?
It's New York, it's good to leave and it's good to come back,
but it's different.
I mean, we just have so much more shit.
We got the, you ever seen that Sopranos episode
where Furio lands back from Italy
and he's driving from the Newark airport to his house
and he's just like McDonald's, Exxon, Burger King,
Whole Foods, it's just a bummer.
It's just capitalists and corporations.
And yeah, that part sucks.
That's why I live in the village.
Because it's less of that.
It's less of that.
Also, there's like writing on everything. Ah, yeah. I mean, there's graffiti everywhere. Because it's less of that. It's less of that. Also, there's writing on everything.
Ah, yeah.
I mean, there's graffiti everywhere.
It was so clean in Paris.
So clean.
And everything.
And here you have some gargoyle buildings that are like,
oh, that's kind of a classic.
But then most of them are just like the new glass.
It's just like, this is gross.
Yes.
This is industrial.
Yes.
I've never noticed how gross it was, and rats everywhere.
I know.
And I had to fight with a guy in Paris.
Not a fight, a discussion.
We were out getting some wine.
He was like, let me help you find some wine.
They're so good at it.
They care.
And where are you from?
I told him, and then he's like, yeah, it's
a lot like here weather-wise.
They just got over a 100 degree heat wave.
I'm like, yeah, we have that.
He goes, it's about the same weather.
I'm like, yeah, I think so.
Because a lot of similarities.
I'm like, yeah, he goes, we got better rats. He goes, we have rats. I'm like, yeah, we have that. He goes, it's about the same weather. I'm like, yeah, I think so. It goes a lot of similarities. I'm like, yeah, he goes, we got better rats.
He goes, we have rats.
I'm like, not like our rats.
Yeah, yeah.
Their rats have little mustaches and berets on.
Our rats are eating fucking, eating like a dead dog
on the highway.
What were the highlights for you out there?
Like, what would you like?
I love that.
I would go back to that.
I think the nightlife for me, just, well, first of all,
I know I keep harping on the vibe,
but it was just so pleasant.
Yeah, explain that.
Explain the vibe.
Because I say the same thing.
It was just a chill vibe.
Chill vibe.
It's they, they, they soak up life over there in Europe.
You know, it's Italy too.
And even England, you know, you wake up, you have your coffee and then you have your bread
and then you walk around.
It feels like we're all hustle and bustle.
Got to work. and then you have your bread and then you walk around. It feels like we're all hustle and bustle, gotta work,
gotta check my followers and make money
and you know, fuck life right in the ass
and all this business, business, business.
Out there it's like, I run a souvenir shop,
I come in when I want, I leave when I want,
there's a bell on the door, I go get a big lunch
and then I read at night to candlelight.
It does feel like that.. It does feel like that.
It really does feel like that.
Yeah.
It's just like there's no, I just like sitting there.
They're not rushing you out.
Yes.
I know it's like, give me my checker ready, but the idea that comes from like, yo, I mean,
you're sitting here, I don't know.
Right.
Until you're done.
What's the rush?
Yeah.
Every like hour, you're like, can I get another coffee?
Like, yeah, all right.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just laid back and it's a major city.
It's one of the oldest cities, and yet it just feels... They got it all figured out.
You know when you go... I was just in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and you know when you go to
a town where you're like...
The Paris of New Hampshire.
Yeah.
You know when you go to a town and you're like, there's an exact right amount of people
in this town for the infrastructure.
In New York, it's like there's eight million more people than should be here
because the apartments are all stacked up,
the sidewalks are full, the subway's full,
the traffic is bad.
But in Paris it just felt like there was enough,
there's the right amount of people in the city
for what the city can hold.
So every restaurant is full, but then,
you don't have to wait that long. Do you remember when you went, what time of year? Probably 2000, oh,. So every restaurant is full. Where did you go? You don't have to wait that long.
Do you remember when you went?
What time of year?
Probably 2000, oh, I think it was the fall.
Okay, it wasn't August.
No.
August it clears out.
Oh really?
But so this is regular time.
August they all take their vacation.
And the same thing when you say about the vibe.
So I was there last 10 days of July,
first four days of August.
Yeah.
They were like August is vacation time.
And really, on August 1st, you see people,
there's a sign up closed till September.
Whoa, really?
Yeah, but that vibe of why don't you have your employees work?
Like, what guys?
It's summer time.
Yeah, yeah.
Enjoy your life a little.
Yeah, I feel like we get a call like, hey, the lights
are being shut off.
You know?
Yeah.
They don't seem to have that worry.
Yeah, exactly.
They own their places or something, and they're just like, I don't know. Yeah. Work to live. Yeah, they've got to have that worry. Yeah, exactly. They own their places or something,
and they're just like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Work to live instead of live to work.
I know.
And then you come back to New York, and the plane lands,
and you feel it instantly.
You know, like, oh.
It's all over so fast.
You got a guy going, Uber.
You need Uber?
You need Uber?
And you're like, I don't trust you.
Yeah, you need Uber?
Just hear it.
Call me, and I'll help you.
It's like, what?
Yeah, there's a dead guy.
I'll just go to Uber, dude.
There's a fist fight.
There's a racial incident at the Hudson News.
The nightlife was really good.
The bars were just cool.
Everyone's out there talking.
What was your take on race relations in Paris?
Didn't even think about it.
Didn't come up.
I told Che when I got home, I asked him if he's,
I saw him and I was like, have you been there?
And he's like, no, why?
I'm like, it's the most equal I've ever seen black people.
Yes.
It seemed like it just,
and maybe it was where I was staying in the 10th,
but like, seemed just like, it just didn't,
it wasn't even a thought.
Didn't even come up, totally.
You know?
I felt the same way.
It's like when you're talking to an Asian person,
you don't see it anymore.
Yeah.
There's certain people you don't see it, like Louis,
you're like, oh yeah, I guess Latino.
Right, right.
Or me with Jew.
It's like, you're not thinking like, I'm friends with a Jew.
No, no.
Doesn't cross your brain until you're ready to make a joke.
Yes.
But it seemed like that there.
Almost like, I could tell you're black,
but I'm not even thinking about it until you ask me.
No.
Because they all sound the same too.
They have that, the accent and the language.
The same with British, like a British black guy's like,
right now, Gav, now you're like, whoa.
Oh, I got a question for you.
No beat trippin'?
Yeah, yeah.
No beat, exactly, just a voodoo to pill.
Yeah, yeah.
But you know, a black comic walks on stage in America
and goes, a lot of white people here,
and it's immediately addressed. They're like, I'm black, you're white, there, a lot of white people here. And it's immediately addressed.
They're like, I'm black, you're white.
There's a weirdness.
I don't feel like they have that.
My friend Kevin, comic, told me this.
I could be wrong.
He said America, because I was told
him I'm thinking of leaving.
And he said America is obss, he goes,
race is the dumbest issue in the world.
It's obvious.
Everyone should be equal, right?
Yeah.
It's the dumbest issue in the world,
and America is obsessed with it,
and that's all you have to know.
It's all slavery.
We feel bad about the slavery.
Yeah, I know.
Even though other places.
I miss those times.
If you went to Bahrain or UAE or something like that,
and then you're there, and some people say don't go,
I'm like, well, I'm performing for the government,
I'm performing for the people,
but if they were like, hey, while you're here,
you got a slave, I would lean in.
Yeah.
I'd be like, it'd be fine.
I'm not taking it home with me, but.
No, I'd tip after the sexual.
You can't tip a slave.
Well, after the sexual favors, I'd tip.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
I think you went above and beyond.
Yeah.
You really took the next step of slavery there.
Yeah.
Made me feel, you didn't feel like you
were half to be here.
Right.
Seemed like you wanted to.
And you go white slave, just to make it normal.
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, oh, for sure white slave.
Don't get me wrong, you gotta go white slave.
Gotta go white slave.
Yeah, or Filipino.
Ah, that's good for the lady boy thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What were the girls like in Paris?
Beautiful.
God damn.
Beautiful, it's my favorite look,
because they're all fashionable too.
They wear the boots and the leather and the hair.
It's all hot and they're all thinner.
Yup.
And they're not as, American women can be a little entitled.
You know, like, hey, you owe me this because of a tampon string or whatever.
And you're like, huh, what?
And they're like, oh, grab by the pussy, fuck Trump.
It's a patriarchy. And you're like, all right, don And they're like, I'm grabbed by the pussy, fuck Trump, it's a patriarchy and you're like, all right,
don't hurt me.
I didn't do any of that.
But yeah, but there it felt more,
it's like you said, it felt more equal
and everybody's just hanging out.
I was so turned on all the time.
They were just like hot chicks.
Just hot women.
I know.
And you're right, they're fashionable.
They're fancy, they read.
So they just seem cool.
Yeah, they just seem better than all of us. Yeah.
And they're nice. And they're nice. They're not, you know, I feel like you get a hot girl in America
and you're like, oh, I'm hot, I can run the world. There they're like, oh, I'm hot, but they're all, we're all hot and
can I get a latte? Yeah. Yeah, just hot and helpful and just fine. Yeah. Where does that come from, you think?
By being treated okay? Treated okay, good upbringing, probably good education. I'm sure there's
poor psychos in pairs who are all cunts. Yeah, gotta be but damn. Oh hi. Today's
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Now let's get back to the episode. So what did you drink when you were there? Same shit?
They have everything, right? I was all in, all on the beer.
Just full on like French beers.
The 60, what is it, 64?
Yeah, 1664 is good.
That's their PBR too, that's their shit.
Oh really?
That's swell.
They have two, they have a white and they have a blue.
Yeah, we would buy like two liters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They were squeezable.
Squeezable ones?
Like a plastic.
Oh.
Yeah, and it was just beer
and you just drank a two liter of beer,
and it was good to go.
Did you drink by the river at all?
Yep, yep, drank by the river,
walked around the river a ton.
I think she thought I was gonna propose,
which was awkward.
Oh, you're like, no, not this spot,
it's another spot.
Yeah, yeah.
That's funny.
Yeah.
She talked you on a trip to Paris,
and then immediately,
I built one friend was like,
if any proposes, you're like,
exactly. Yeah, you're like, huh.
Exactly.
Yeah, you're right.
That is what you would do it.
It's cliche.
Yeah, I got down on one knee and I was like, I'm gay.
I really threw her a 180 on her.
Oh, we went to Notre Dame too.
Oh yeah, what was that?
That was really cool.
It's just super old.
Pre-burned?
Huh?
Post-burned.
I guess post, pre.
No, it was pre, it was together.
Okay.
Pre-Burned.
Notre Dame Burned, right?
It did, yeah.
I think they're fixing it, but it's very ashy.
They're fixing it.
When I was there, they were fixing it.
But.
You know about ashy?
Well, your grandparents do.
Yeah, and I know about burning down the Notre Dame Church.
Shoot, my people did that at 9-11.
Oh yeah.
But yeah, super cool.
And that area around there. What was in there?
It's just still pews.
Oh really?
Yeah, it's still a working church.
It was candles everywhere.
Is Napoleon buried there?
Yeah, I think he is.
Dynamite.
No, I think Napoleon's buried there.
I didn't get the word association.
I was like, what's dynamite?
Oh, right.
Stupid, so stupid.
Yeah, the architecture's really cool.
Just go in, did you go to museums at all?
Outside of the Louvre, no.
We went to the Catacombs, which was basically a museum.
What's the Catacombs?
Catacombs is an underground prison
that they built underground,
and it's all the skulls are on the wall.
It's crazy. No.
I took a million photos in there.
It's amazing that it still exists.
What? I think it was a cemetery, or it was a prison, but a million photos in there. It's amazing that it still exists. What?
I think it was a cemetery or it was a prison,
but just everybody died in there.
I wonder what the French Revolution was,
if they were like, if it got real bad,
like well we gotta turn this hotel
into a fuckin' murder factory.
Yeah, maybe.
Or we gotta turn this prison
into a fuckin' graveyard or whatever it is.
Yeah.
You know what would've been really interesting
to visit Paris?
During the German occupation?
Imagine if you're a German guy
and you're like, you probably got a five year run
where nobody local can really fuck with you
and you get to enjoy the nice wine and cheese.
Like shit stays open, like guys run your business
but like there's just an occupier here.
And if you're one of those occupiers,
you clean up, also some chicks probably were into ya.
Cause like, ooh, German, I know I shouldn't do this.
That's true.
Yeah, you could fuck, oh, it's the best place to fuck.
Oh yeah, that Hugo Boss outfit, you know,
the big boots, the goose step.
Yeah, they must have done very well.
Yeah, and then they were like, hey, we're pulling out.
You'd be like, oh, no.
Yeah. You're like, can I stay, you guys are cool with me, right? And they're were like, hey, we're pulling out. You'd be like, oh, no. Yeah. Yeah.
You're like, can I stay?
You guys are cool with me, right?
And they'd probably be like, nah.
I think back then, too, soldiers were like,
we were like, put on a pedestal.
And you could go into a guy's house and be like,
I need some bread, or I need to take a shit.
And people had to let you in.
Isn't that one of the things in the Constitution?
They were like, we're sick of that with the British.
I think so.
They can't go into our houses. Yeah. We don't have to shelter you anymore. It's that one of the things in the Constitution? They were like, we're sick of that with the British. I think so.
Like, can't go to our houses.
Yeah.
We don't have to shelter you anymore.
It's one of the amendments, I think.
You can?
That you can.
You can?
You can.
I think you can.
I think it's part of it.
Like, when a soldier comes by and he has diarrhea, you gotta let him in.
I don't even like them boarding first.
Why?
You're the most physically fit.
You don't have to board first.
Good point.
Good point.
I think you gotta give them something for risking their lives.
Yeah, you get a human ear for every kill.
Oh, there you go, make a necklace.
Make a necklace, yeah.
That's something.
That's true, that is something.
Steal artifacts, I've seen those fucking Marky Mark movies.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, the girls are so hot.
Where are the bikes, what bikes?
Huh?
Where were the bikes, Did you bike around?
Did you buy a bike?
Oh, we did the bike rental at the Airbnb at a bike rental.
Nothing.
It had one.
Yeah, nothing too snazzy.
They did have this.
What I'm trying to do is like, if I'm going to Paris,
let's just say somebody's going to Paris,
and listening to this podcast,
kind of like what should I expect?
So you said, kind of expensive.
I think that's changed now with the dollar being better.
Thank you, Trump.
But there's bike rentals everywhere.
Like city bikes. There's the Limes.
Did they have those then?
The electric ones?
They weren't there.
Thank God, those are horrible to a city.
They can lay on the floor.
But they don't let you put them anywhere like they do here.
They're only in certain spots.
They're full.
They're like, this place is full,
you gotta go to another spot.
You're gonna get fined 25 euros if you leave it just anywhere. They're like, they're like, this place is full, you gotta go to another spot. And they're like, you're gonna get to find 25 euros
if you leave it just anywhere.
They're like, we know you're the last one to take it.
You see, they handle their shit there.
Even if you're right next to it,
like if it's like the line ends here,
just right where you are,
and I put it right next to you,
they'll go, hey, that's 25 euros, you're not in the spot.
Wow.
All right, good for them.
See, they thought everything.
And they have, you've got the city bikes here, right?
So they have in there these rubber holders for your phone.
Wow, for the GPS.
Yes, so you stick it in there, it grasps,
no matter what size phone you have it.
And so you can look and see where you're going.
It's great.
We didn't think of that.
Here, where our phone, like, holding it
and trying to steer with one hand.
Wow.
Man.
See, CityBike here wouldn't do that, because they're like, ah,'re like that's an extra 11 cents to put that on the bike
So fuck it. Yeah, that's America, baby
Yeah, but yet they all love us. Well, they make fun of us that we're annoying and fat
But they they they watch all our movies. They will listen all our music. They like all our TV
Yeah, same thing. We feel about him doing
Knowing in fact, I'll never stop watching it.
Hey, there you go.
Hey, today.
I think America to them is like a spoiled, c***y kid who's still interesting.
It's interesting.
We do have the best movies, we have the best music.
Yeah.
We have among the best music.
It's just like they like our stuff.
I met some people, we're just walking home late at night.
We're cocky.
We're cocky. Oh, Wes. I met some, it was a t-shirt manufacturer,
they're just running off shirts, and it was all 90s bands,
like Mazzy Star and some hip hop and stuff.
I was looking at it, and they kind of waved me in,
I was like, oh, this is cool, why specifically this?
It's what we're into.
Yeah.
He's like, I'm 41, and so it's kind of what I grew up.
I'm like, oh, wow, no,
I've never seen a Mazzy Star shirt anywhere.
I know, exactly. That's why you always see these artists up. I'm like, oh wow, no, I've never seen a Mazzy Stars shirt anywhere. I know, exactly.
That's why you always see these artists,
like I'm huge in Paris.
Yeah.
I go over there once a year and make a million dollars.
Yeah.
And what I liked was, he was telling me about it,
he was like, yeah, we run shit off, I don't know,
it's like this easy way to run off t-shirts
and we're all sort of artists and stuff.
And he's like, what are you doing now?
You wanna go to a bar?
I'm about to go.
And I was like, okay, didn't know me. Wow, you see? Went to a bar, of artist and stuff. And he's like, what are you doing now? You wanna go to a bar? I'm about to go. I was like, okay, didn't know me.
Wow, you see?
Went to a bar, we're just talking.
Told me a term, boo boo.
Boo boo?
Bourgeois bohem.
Like upscale, downscale.
Oh.
It's rich people that try to act poor.
Oh, right.
Torn jeans, I'm just on the streets.
Like, no you're not.
Like Mark Cuban with flip flops and cargo shorts.
Yeah, but like you're like a hipster.
Most of, Williamsburg is very good.
Got it, got it.
That was the big thing with COVID
when everybody had to go back to their parents' house.
You're like, oh, you grew up in a mansion?
Right, right, right.
And you're like living this poor,
like I'm just a struggling artist.
But you're not.
You're trying that on.
Exactly, you're wearing overalls for some reason.
Yeah.
But I went to Australia years ago,
and it's the same thing.
We're so engulfed in black culture.
We got the hip hop and the cool lingo
and the sneakers and everything.
They are so white over there.
I went to a nightclub one night,
and I remember walking in,
and they were blaring sublime.
Wow. We'd have Drake or something playing.
They have Sublime.
We got like, drop that ass or whatever else.
You should never listen to Sublime, ever.
One of the most overrated bands of all time.
It's where I got, I say remember that.
I'm like, this is the night club?
I'm just bobbing my head with a vodka soda.
All right, what else should we say about Paris?
What should people know when they're going there?
Yeah, the food scene, just go if you like a pretty city.
Just walking around, right?
Walking around was all you need to do.
Get a beer, get a loaf of bread, get a decent meal,
get like a good jambon, which is a ham sandwich.
Oh yeah.
Get a good ham sandwich and just walk around,
get a bike and get like a good beer buzz, like four, two,
two to four beers and just take it all in.
This guy, this guy who's class it took, he says this thing. It's like,
walk until the city walk until you find something interesting.
Perfect. And talk to people. And Paris is that talk to me.
What'd you just talk to?
Well, I just talked to strangers like what's the best spot. where should I go, sorry about 9-11 and all this stuff.
So that was enough, like the bars,
that was my favorite part because we'd go out all day,
then you'd go home, take a nap, maybe bang,
and then by eight o'clock we'd get a cocktail
and just bar hop and it was the best.
It's a late night city, you can get dinner at nine,
easily anywhere, I got at 11, I'll say it again and just bar hop and it was the best. It's a late night city. You can get dinner at nine. Yes. Easily anywhere.
I got at 11, I'll say it again when I do my Paris pot,
11.30 on a weekday.
I got Duck as a main course by the Canals,
Escargot for hors d'oeuvre, whatever it's called,
the pre thing, appetizer, six bon, bon y'all.
It's different.
Their entree is their app, which makes more sense, because it's the Entree.
Yeah, Enter.
Enter.
Yeah, what is that?
We just fucked it up.
And then what's their main?
What is it called?
There's a word for it, right?
There's a word for it.
Ah.
Main.
I don't know.
Ah, shit, the headline?
There's a word for it, yeah.
Call in if you know.
Call in, call in right now, leave a comment.
But you're right.
Anyway, creme brulee for dessert,
because I was like, you have a dessert?
Like creme brulee, I'm like, that sounds French,
so yeah, I'm gonna get it.
Two glasses of Cotterone, wine, 60 euro.
Oh really?
And it's one to one now.
And there's not even a line for a tip, which is a Jew.
It's like, I don't feel bad for it.
And the waiters get like a real wage.
Yeah, two euros.
I'm like, I feel sort of bad.
60, that's nothing.
And that's 11.30 at night also.
60 bucks about?
60 bucks.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that is good.
If there was tip, that means it's like a $48 meal.
Right.
You know?
Right.
Good point.
And that's like two glasses of wine.
It's 14 each here.
Yeah. And also, you probably sat at that restaurant
for two hours.
So long.
Dude, I saw this chick rolling, she was hot.
There's two chicks and a guy,
and she was rolling a cigarette,
she was doing it really well,
and I was way into, I hand rolled cigarettes
the whole time I was there.
I was like, I'm going with the plan,
just sit at coffee shops all day,
smoke hand rolled cigarettes.
And my classmates are like, you smoke?
I'm like, no, I just started.
I'm not, I'm faking.
Like, I'm not good at this.
But I was staring at her.
Her tits were out too, which was nice,
but like, shit caught me looking.
And I was like, the cigarette, I'm looking at the cigarette.
I was, earlier I was looking at your tits.
But now I'm just looking at your technique.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, it's just a really fun place to be.
Yeah, walk around.
Walk around, take it all in.
And you really can just stop and like,
let's stop, get a beer, and keep walking.
Let's stop, get a little sandwich.
You can split a small sandwich
at the little sandwich-erias or whatever they are.
Mm-hmm.
The, um...
Patisserie?
Patisserie.
Yeah.
Patisserie, yeah.
We would just sit on a...
They have all these tables outside with the big
There for hours and then you're like, yeah, you know what? I'm hungry again. I've been sitting here so long
Let's get another another croque mon so yeah
There you go
Wow, do you have anything like you like? I've never had anything like this in America
food was
Sadly, no, I mean I had the foam thing something. Yeah, that's one
was. Sadly no. I mean I had the foam thing. Yeah that's one. You got me on that one. Yeah it was like a buff, a buff which is beef. Beef yeah. And then I got some weird
crazy chicken like a chicken fried steak but it was like this big and it was just
all breaded and it was really good. But man yeah it was just a great time. I want
to go back. I was on the way back from that meal whatever. I was called home. I
was talking to Tony and it was like he like, the food's so great there.
And I was like, and as I was walking by,
I saw a fuckin', it looked like an immigrant
on his floor with a plate of food on his bed
just eating on it.
I was like, they don't all respect cuisine here.
Yeah.
Even the subway was clean too.
Oh yeah, you took the subway?
Took the subway around, yeah.
It's nice, you can figure it out pretty easily, right?
Oh yeah, they make it real simple, it was clean and nice, there's like carpet on the
subway, it was crazy.
With Google Maps too, you can just like, it just tells you, go yellow to pink to brown.
Yeah, exactly.
It's not difficult to get around, it's all the scariness.
Were you scared when you get there?
Did you get scared in other countries?
China I was scared, because you get there and you're just like, it's all these characters
and all these Chinese people and all this.
But that was scary.
But I still figured that out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We went to the wall and everything.
But Paris, it's like a six hour flight, too.
I know.
It's right there.
It's right there.
It's like LA.
Was English a problem?
No, not at all.
Not at all.
The only problem is I would do the French accent
with English words, which is like the dumbest American thing.
I'd be like, oh, where is the water fountain?
You know?
And they're like, the water fountain's over there.
You quiff.
What is that that makes you want to do it?
It's like you're trying to meet him halfway.
Yeah, you're trying.
That's all I can do.
That's all I can do is fuck up the way I say it.
Yeah.
Water fountain ware is?
Like, I know what you mean.
Ah, now you're getting me all excited.
I wanna go back.
Yeah.
It's just a great time.
Yeah, just hanging in a bar or a cafe.
That's all it is.
That's all it is.
Walk around.
I like the gardens that they had there,
like the, I guess, something Jardine.
Yeah, that's garden.
Luxembourg Gardens.
Oh, okay.
Did you go to that one?
No.
It was south of the river.
Uh-huh.
Did you go to Shakespeare and Company?
No.
Joel List told me about it,
but I'm like, there's a fucking line,
and I'm like, no, dude.
What is it, a bookstore? It's a bookstore.
Yeah.
And he goes, there's a line.
I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Ah, it's a bookstore. What is it, a bookstore? Yeah. And he goes, there's a line. I'm like, yeah, I don't know.
Ah, it's a bookstore.
Exactly.
I'm not waiting in line for that.
Yeah, but I remember we just want to hang.
That's all comics want to do.
It's like, I went to your, what is it, Ireland with the Vodafone
Fest.
And it was me, Chris D, Rachel, Sam, Nate Bragazzi, Colin Quinn.
And we go, all right, well, meet for breakfast at 11 at this whatever.
And we would end up sitting there and like're like, oh, we gotta go to shower
and the show is in an hour.
That's funny.
That was the whole day.
I didn't see a lick of Ireland.
Yeah.
Damn, the streets really are pretty there.
And there's something fun about your phone not working.
I don't do the plan.
You don't.
That's smart.
I get wifi at the hotel or the Airbnb,
and then I check everything out, and then that's it.
He downloaded an offline map.
But also struggling to find a place is actually pretty fun.
It is.
It's around here somewhere, Ospo directions.
You find new things.
Yes.
I was walking from my first day there,
I was like, I don't know what I'm doing,
so I'll do some activities that I have to check off
while I'm uncomfortable.
I was too nervous to even order food,
because I'm like, I don't want to say it in English.
Yeah, yeah. Until I got so hungry that I had to, to even order food because I'm like I don't say it in English. Yeah Yeah
Until I got so hungry that I had to or maybe I stopped by a 7-eleven and just like oh, okay
I was so nervous. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
every time I go to new place but like I
Went from one museum polite polite Royale to the Mosaic d'Orsay and then I walk
I'm just like I don't know. I think it's like up down and over and I'm not following and then I walked by the the
Rembrandt Museum. Oh wow. With the thinker you know that guy. Yeah. And I'm like oh here it is. Wow. So it just like presents you stuff if you don't like
find the exact right direction. It totally does it's good to get lost it's
good to find your way out it's good to use your brain again because you've just
totally given into the phone. A lot of people in the class didn't get the
phone planner and I was like jealous of them
because they really is like we'll just we'll just come across something to eat. We're not
looking for the best place. And it's poison. You go like imagine being in Paris and looking at the
Eiffel Tower and you're like oh I'll get on Instagram and comment. Yeah you're like what am I
doing? What am I doing? Go be with the Eiffel. It's that such a supreme waste of time when you're
in the most magical place
you'll be in for the year at least,
but maybe forever.
You might never go back there.
Totally.
And you're gonna like,
what if they total up the amount of time
on an eight day trip that you were on your phone?
Like, since that was seven hours.
Oh, that's heartbreaking.
And you'd be like, oh no.
And that's low for eight day trip.
I know, I know.
This in Paris was just a camera.
That's it. That's it.
That's it.
That's great.
Yeah, unless maybe she would take a shit
and I'd do a walk and listen to a podcast,
but I was still soaking it all in.
Yeah.
Did you watch any music or anything?
Yeah, there was a couple street performers
that were pretty great that we watched,
but nothing, we didn't go to a concert or anything.
I'm wondering what it was like. The drinking outside, that was something. There's just
things you notice when you go to another country that it's just like you can't, you don't
really even remember it.
Yeah. You feel it.
Like I was just noticing this. They had a juggler here at a red light. And then I was
like, oh yeah, the Ecuador. At all the red lights they had like a juggler or a unicyclist or whatever. And then get begging for
change. It wasn't just beggars. It was like, they performed a task.
And it was like, it reminded me of that,
but it wasn't something I'd remember coming home until I just saw it.
Right. Right. What were those things in Paris? I'm trying to remember.
Oh yeah. A lot of painter guys and a lot of my saw mime, saw mime,
saw mime, which is cliched nobody cared
She needs space invaders, huh? Those those murals. I did see one. I think yeah, he's from Paris. Oh, is he?
Yeah, they're everywhere there. Oh, it's pretty much the only thing I took pictures of is this place invaders. I was like, oh, there's one
Oh, there's one. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, it's also an excuse to take a picture of like, you know
Sometimes like one street will come
and then it goes like two ways?
Yeah, yeah.
So you have a building in the middle.
Yes.
So like it'll be on that.
So it's like, it's an excuse to take a picture
of the streets.
Right, right.
Cause that'll like be in a corner or something.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Eh, it's a good take photos.
I mean you went to eight museums
and you took a photo of the Space Invader nine times.
Oh, here's what I was gonna say though. When you go to the gardens and the,
and the Rembrandt, it was Rembrandt. It wasn't Rembrandt. Who did the thinker?
Godot, Godot, no, Rodin.
Rodin. It was a Rodin. It wasn't the Rembrandt. It was a Rodin museum.
So they have these, they have some, some sculptures inside,
it's had some sculptures outside, um,
small like busts inside and and not all wrote down too.
But you're walking along and I'm noticing these gardens
and you look back at the house that the museum is
and I'm like, oh that was somebody's house.
And this was their garden.
And the Luxembourg gardens, I was like,
that was some royals house, and this was just their estate
where they'd walk with their girlfriend.
And I imagine what it would have been like then
to be high class.
Yeah, oh my god.
Yeah, must be nice.
And they got no internet hate.
So they were just living large.
Yeah.
All those paintings, you don't really
see those people at the beach and stuff,
the dot paintings from back then.
It was like, this is all the rich people.
Oh, yeah.
It wasn't like, bring a picnic from KFC.
No, no, that was like the Rockefellers.
But I just remember the feeling was so good.
You just wanted to get up and get out.
I feel like in New York I'm always like,
does that guy hate me, is she mad at me,
what the hell's going on,
this couple's breaking up, she's crying,
this cabbie's yelling at somebody.
Not that they don't yell or get mad, but it just felt... It's like keeping context. Yeah, and everything was
very picturesque. I have photos on my phone of just a guy walking down the street in the
moonlight or whatever, and that was just, oh my God, I got to photograph this. And then
I would go to... It's so iconic. Yeah, you walk past an apartment and there's people
hanging out on the balcony smoking and laughing, and you see there's an apartment and there's people hanging out on the balcony
smoking and laughing and you see there's a party in there
and you're like, wow.
What are they doing?
What are they talking about?
They're talking about life and shit.
Yes, that's just their life.
They're probably a bunch of students
or they're in some art class, who the hell knows,
an orgy, but it just was like,
oh, I wanna live here and be part of this.
I met a few Americans that had moved there
and it really was like, they were like, it's great.
Oh!
Once you learn the language,
just you can sit in with anybody.
It's just like, ugh, what about smoking?
It looks good, they make it look good.
A lot of smokers there.
Parents smoke, all the girls smoke.
Yep, yep, it looks good.
Makes you wanna do it, but.
Yeah.
If I could do it all over again,
I would do the abroad shit in college.
A year abroad. I would fuck abroad. No, I would. Yeah. I would, uh,
go to pair. My brother lived in Paris for two years. No, really? Yeah.
He did the peace score. I mean, he really lived it up. I would say to any,
any parent or no kids listening to this, but like, tell your kid,
take a gap year before college.
Oh yeah, please, live your life.
Live your life, go to some other city, get a job,
or travel around Southeast Asia or South America,
but like, dude, why go straight to college?
Or fuck college, go use Google, save your money, and travel.
Yeah, what would you do if you go back to Paris?
Like, what would you like, feel like,
I wanna do this and this and this?
I would probably hit the food scene a little harder
because I think I missed that whole thing.
I was on fucking Mali for Christ's sake.
So I wasn't eating, I was drinking a lot,
doing drugs, walking around.
So I'd definitely hit the food more,
I'd get some more wrecks.
Like when I went to Italy, I just said,
Matteo, put it right in my ass,
give me the food, the restaurants,
and he gave me some great spots.
So I would do that, but I hit every site.
I think I would just get a, I'd spend all my money
on a spot right by the river, and just hang there
and take it all in.
I'd just live in a neighborhood for like a week.
Yeah, I stayed in the 10th, which is more like,
it's borderline West, little West Africa.
Oh wow.
But it's got flavor there for sure.
It's like a hipster area.
And then they have canals right by there,
which is like the river goes and then comes in
and people are like, it's just like, you just,
I don't know if you ever look at somebody
sitting, drinking a beer, like four or five,
like 26 year olds, and they're talking another language
and you're like, I just like, what are they talking about?
It's so cool. And then you're like, do just like, what are they talking about? It seems so cool.
And then you're like, do you know?
You remember when you first moved to New York,
you're like, hey, my toilet's overflowing,
but it's overflowing in New York.
Yeah, uh-huh.
I wonder if they have that.
I think that's the problem with living in Paris
is you probably just go like, this is where I live.
It's not like, it's not Paris.
Yeah, I wonder if you get used to it.
I think you must.
I think a lot of them hate it there.
And then like you mentioned the revolution or whatever.
Isn't it weird that they were angry enough to be like,
we need to have a revolution?
Yeah.
You don't see them angry, but again, I'm romanticized.
There's a bunch of Parisians listening to this going,
what, I hate my dad, he fucked my sister in front of me.
So there is bad shit there.
But even when, who's that dancer who went there?
Chris Brown.
No, black dancer from like the 1920s.
Oh, Alan Avey?
No, no, no.
What's that guy's name?
Black chick.
Dancer?
Bernadette, not Bernadette.
Bernadette Peters.
Black dancer.
But also James Baldwin.
Oh yeah, all those guys went there.
They all went there because they were like,
oh, black's not a thing here.
Right.
It's just, you're just like, I like your writing.
Yeah.
Gay's not a thing here.
Right.
They all went, Capote went there and Hemingway.
Yeah, Hemingway went there
and they all discussed stuff at the time,
like what's, it just seems like,
it seems like a place to just postulate about things.
Yes, yes, for sure.
Which is what white people love doing.
We really love to postulate.
Love talking about possibilities.
Yes, and then not doing shit.
We like to tweet and talk and complain and yelp,
but we ain't doing shit.
There's a couple weirdos who get crunchy
and get out there and pick up a shovel,
but that's not many
I heard though that's like we've had friends that have been like, you know gotten in trouble and I've heard that
They go there, you know people like oh, we don't care about shit here
Yeah, we've got in trouble, but that doesn't we don't even understand what you're talking about. Yeah, so welcome, right?
I heard that too about like me too stuff. Yeah women are like wow, we don't subscribe to that completely.
We like being sexual.
Yeah, we like a guy taking a chance and trying to kiss us.
Right, right.
That's just what I heard.
That's what I heard.
I've never tried to kiss anyone.
I'm a virgin.
I'm a virgin, that's right.
Double virgin.
I put my dick, we're around shoving my ass
so no one can touch me.
Yes.
Do you ever get tired, or how long does it take you
to get tired of just going sightseeing?
Like going to see the sights, like the Louvre
and whatever, like.
It's a little bit of a chore, but you gotta do it.
Do something to get you out of the house.
Yeah, and my problem is the hangovers.
You know, I wake up and I'm like,
ah, I'm hungover, fuck it, I just wanna sit here
and watch TV, but you gotta just get over that hump
and you're so glad you did.
You can't, you can't.
They all went to Australia, I think Kill Tony
went to Australia.
Really?
Yeah, so it was Tony and Red Band and a few other people
and Red Band's like, do you have any tips
for getting over jet lag?
I just got to Australia, they all wanted to go
to a koala tasting trip.
Sure, glad to hear that.
And I was like, suck it up and go,
because you're gonna be home and you're gonna look back
and like, why didn't I go to those koalas?
You're not gonna remember how tired you were.
So true.
You're just gonna have no memory of the koalas.
It's like my bachelor party.
We're sitting there, I was dead to rights.
That's right.
And we, Bert's like, get up, we're going on this boat
and we're going fishing.
If people would've been like, hey,
I don't feel like going, like, sweet, let's not.
Let's not.
I was tired and hungover as shit.
Yep, but when you look at those photos in 10 years,
you're not gonna remember the hangover,
you're not gonna remember the tired,
you're gonna remember you there.
That's all I remember.
Not now, it's been a month.
I don't remember the fucking hardness to get up.
Exactly.
What a fun trip.
As soon as you get a couple beers in you,
a couple white clothes, whatever,
and you're like back out, the sunshine,
you're like, I'm not hungover anymore.
Not hungover at all.
The resilient body.
Then you go home and you nap.
You nap, relax. It's like a breakup. The resilient body. Then you go home and you nap.
You nap for likes.
It's like a breakup.
You know when you, my friend was dating this girl.
He hated her.
She was a piece of shit, whatever.
And then they broke up and he was like,
I miss her so much.
And I'm like, remember you hated her?
He's like, oh yeah.
I forgot she did all those horrible things to me.
And you just, you only see the good.
It's one of the nice things our brain does.
Yeah, internet only sees the bad.
Yeah.
Us, we naturally like, eh, they were pretty cool.
Good point.
Internet's like, don't forget the fact
that time that Jay walked.
Yeah.
Remember when John Wayne said, fag of 1941?
String him up.
Yeah, get him out of burial, string him up.
Yeah.
All right, let's wrap this up I think.
All right.
Are there any, do you have any,
Lewis said a segment I should do is have you convince me
to go to this place, but like I already went to Paris
so I can't do that there.
Uh-huh.
Another one is what made you decide to go there
and we already discussed that.
Yup, yup.
Which seems almost cliche.
It seems right though.
It is cliche but it's cliche for a reason.
There is a cliche for a reason, Vine.
Yeah.
Where it's like, you don't wanna be there
and then not go to the Louvre when you're the,
I didn't go to the Louvre.
When you're right that close.
I got tickets one day, I was doing something else.
But like you're that close and you're like not gonna,
it's like do the cliche thing,
there's a reason it's a cliche.
Yeah, yeah, I mean when I moved to New York,
I did the Statue of Liberty, I did Wall Street,
I did the Empire, I did Central Park.
I just get it out of the way and then you can live. I never want any of those things. Really?
Yeah, I never want the Statue of Liberty. They're all right there waiting for you. Yeah, I should go. Statue's pretty
But you can go inside of the lady. Did you go up the Eiffel Tower? I did. How was that?
You see the whole city? Great. There's a bar in the 58th floor.
So you hit that and you just keep walking. Of the Eiffel Tower? Yes.
You walked it?
I walked it.
I walked the whole fucking thing.
Wait, you walk up the steps and then stop at a bar?
Yeah, and then take a breather.
So fucking French.
I know, I know.
I'm so fucking French.
There's nothing else allowed but a bar.
I think it's a restaurant, but I just got a beer there
and then just kept walking.
Wow.
Have you ever heard the story about the guy
who some inventor in Paris made wings, and he was like walking. Wow. Has he ever heard the story about the guy who some inventor in Paris made wings
and he was like, these wings, I believe in them so much,
I'll go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and jump off.
And he just died instantly.
I didn't hear that.
You did?
That's like a famous thing where you gotta respect
the confidence. I'll show everyone.
And the people gather below, but not right below.
And he's like, here I am.
And he's like, damn it. That was it. And he's like, here I am. He's like, damn it.
That was it.
When he's like, it must have some time enough to go,
not only am I going to die, this is just the worst.
I called so much attention to myself.
Very embarrassing.
But he owned it.
I liked that he stuck behind his product.
I went to the Eiffel Tower, but I did not go up in it.
What?
It was just out of the way from where I was.
And it was like, I kept, it was like.
The line was bananas, don't get me wrong.
I was really having fun with what my vibe of the city was,
it was just cafes.
Got it.
So like, if I go back I would go, and right,
the line is like I'm not sitting here waiting by myself.
I saw sunrise there though, that was nice.
Hey, is it open?
Like you can.
It's open now. Oh, okay. Oh, it's always, so no one's there. Hey, is it open? Like you can. It's open now.
Oh, okay.
So no one's there.
Ah.
I recorded a promo for this podcast.
Whoa, cool.
Yeah, cause my buddy told me in class,
he was like, hey, I went in the morning,
when I went to class, I went early so I could have breakfast,
he goes, there's no one on the lawn.
Wow.
It's a late city, so it's a late start also.
Right.
So I went and recorded this thing,
got a beret and a shirt, and I held a baguette,
and I was like, wee wee, I love travelet and a shirt, and I held a baguette, and I was like, wee-wee, I love travel, everyone.
Please, watch, you be trippin'.
Here's the other question I ask everybody.
There's no right answer here.
Any travel tips for people?
Or for yourself that you use?
Yeah, let's see, travel tips.
I would set everything up, that's the beauty of online.
Set it all up early,
because you don't want to get there and go,
what do we do?
Yeah.
You never, you want to-
Do you want to research?
Yeah, you want to have it done, researched,
ask some recs, get a lot of recs,
because it is fun to explore and it's fun to get lost,
but it's nice to be like,
all right, tonight we're going to that restaurant.
That we talked about.
That we talked about.
Yeah.
I like to have, that's a good one.
I like to have a few things to get to.
Yes.
But also not be too concerned if I don't get to it.
Yeah.
If there is like, hey, I'm going to,
I'm a huge Rodin nut, I'm going to that.
And if it's like, hey, guys, it's day three out of four
and we haven't gone yet, like I wanna go to this thing.
Yeah.
But like, I was like that for the fucking Lucha Libre.
I'm like, I wanna go to that.
Yes.
Everything else, like, that's in school,
but if I don't get to it, I don't get to it.
But like a couple things to like,
so you're not just like, I don't know what else to do.
And the hump thing is true.
Get over that hump.
Everything in your body goes,
can we just eat and lay down?
Just get up and get your fat ass moving and go there.
Go lay in the park.
Go lay down in the park out there.
Lay in the park, something.
Listen to people. Get lost. I know that's like a negative derogatory thing. fat ass moving and go there. Go lay down in the park. Lay in the park, something.
Listen to people.
And get lost.
I know that's like a negative derogatory thing, get lost, but get lost, go get lost, get on
the subway and just go.
And then get off, like I'm gonna get off on the third stop and then see what happens.
It seems so counter-intuitive.
Yes.
But the fact is you're already there.
I know.
So you're just letting fate decide if you do that, if you just get off the third stop, whatever that happens to be, and if you're
like, whoa this seems dangerous, then you're like, all right I get some out of
here. Yeah. But like it'll just be someplace and you'll find something. Yeah
and third thing. Yeah. Talk to people, talk to strangers. Another hump to get
over. Just go, hey you from here, and they're gonna go, whoa what's the accent?
And then now you're off and running.
It is a good talk.
You know what Henry Rollins always says?
People go like, what are you doing here?
Or yeah, what are you doing in Paris?
Or what are you doing, whatever.
If they recognize him or if they don't.
He just goes, I'm here to meet you.
Ooh, that's good.
Because existentially, he is.
He's coming out just to meet some random,
and here he is doing it.
I like that.
All right, Roll.
I've stolen it so many times.
Here to meet you.
Yeah.
So would you ask people on the street,
like is there a good restaurant around here?
Yeah.
Is there a good place to get whatever here?
Throw all the ego out the window
and just be the ignorant, fat tourist.
Also, my feeling is, if I had to tell someone
how to live in the East Village or the West Village,
and if you had a friend coming in,
and like, hey, what's there to do around here,
or what's a good pizza place?
It wouldn't be the one in the Lonely Planet version
of New York.
It would be, oh, there's a new one that's just open
around the corner from this, it's pretty good.
You know what I mean?
The non-tourist thing is what I'd want someone to tell me.
And a local is like, oh, the best fucking baguette,
or a good coffee shop is that place.
Closed on Sundays, but that's the best coffee shop
Yeah, you know it's not like the most traditional or the oldest, but it's like this is where we all go right right
Yeah, yeah do the real shit that the the locals do it's yeah that coffee shop next to
The seller is the oldest coffee shop in America reggio. Yeah, yeah, but I've been there once by accident
I was like oh, I heard they have hot chocolate here.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But that's not where I'd tell someone to go get coffee.
No, god, that's a great point.
When I first moved to New York, I met a girl at a bar, and we hit it off.
I was like, let's go on a second date.
She's like, where should we go?
And I said Cafe Reggio, and she was like, shut up.
Shut up.
You don't really care.
So we went to a bar, and that fucked.
But yeah, good times. That's so true. Gaffigan has that old great joke where he was like, you're right, you're right. So we went to a bar, that fucked. But yeah, good times.
That's so true, Gaffigan has that old great joke
where he's like, I like to travel,
and it's funny when people go like,
where do the locals do it?
You know it's noon, where do the locals go?
They're at work.
It's so true.
But they're not in Paris, they're not at work.
It doesn't feel like it.
Damn.
They just seem like they just have money.
Yeah.
Isn't that weird?
I always watch TV and I'm watching a reality show.
I'm like, they're this huge,
who has the money?
Who has this money for the song?
Rogan had a joke about that when he sees rappers
and he goes, him, bench over, stacks of cash in each hand,
big booty women in front of Ferrari,
that's in front of a mansion, and it's their first album.
Ah!
It's like, you haven't even released a song yet.
This is not yours.
Do you have rent tits, booties, and vowses?
I think it's all alone.
Yeah, that's what it is.
The company, whatever.
Anyway, fucking cool.
Yeah.
Now I'm dying to travel.
I can't wait to get back out on the road.
You know what I want to do?
Because I did one with Soder about Iceland.
He's like, we should go to Iceland.
I'm like, we should go to Iceland.
Well, maybe if we keep cooking and get our career together, we can quit fucking around.
I feel like, how about this?
Let me just throw this out there for you.
Think 12 months in advance.
Not from today, but in general.
12 months in advance.
If we say next summer, just a fucking comedy trip.
He wants to go to Iceland, but just anywhere.
I'm just like, guys, let's just go somewhere
for eight, nine days.
Oh, that would be amazing.
We'll take so much time, we'll do it in the dead season
of the summer, whatever, and just go have fun,
see some shit.
Everyone, my friends did this.
This guy in the writing class
who's gonna be on this podcast about Morocco. He He said they went somewhere and every city they went to in like Thailand or
something was another of the group of fives thing. So like if, let's say we're going all over Europe,
you get Copenhagen or you get Amsterdam, you get Copenhagen, you get London, you get whatever. And
so there's no like what should we do? It's like Mark already decided what we're doing.
Oh, that get whatever. And so there's no like, what should we do? It's like, Mark already decided what we're doing. Oh, that's good. You just wanna add something,
hey, let's place a cool shirt, but like, he knows it.
And so you can just like, seed control and just have fun.
But what if you get some cum guzzler who's like,
I don't wanna go to that museum.
You got it, you got it.
I'm in Amsterdam, I'm going.
Well then stay home, fuck off, stay home.
We're doing this today.
All right.
We decided, we're doing this today.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So you might not get, yeah, anyway, whatever.
There's gotta be a way to do it where we can have fun.
We have, it's not even, we feel rich
because we're living like normal humans.
I know.
Because we didn't for so long.
But like, we could take a trip to Europe.
Totally could take a trip.
South America, Southeast Asia, we can go anywhere.
Well, our friends are psycho.
I went to a wedding this weekend.
I took Friday and Saturday off to go to a wedding and my friends are like you're
not working? Where you at tonight? Are you on the road? I'm like I'm in a
tuxedo at a New Hampshire. What? On a boat. Yeah. But now you got me excited. We'll leave on a Monday, skip one weekend, come back on the next Thursday. Now let me ask you a
question. Yes sir. I'm going I'm getting married and we're going on a honeymoon and we still haven't figured out where.
What is your rec? What you told me was a great idea. Oh you like that? I love it.
Okay maybe that'll be it because she's hesitant. Why? Well it's just such a such
an ordeal, it's such a big thing to take on. You want to talk to Monroe? He just
went on a comedy trip, Kenya. Oh I will talk to him.
Yeah he did a great safari, overnight safari. Listen if you're looking for the
cliche romantic thing that's that's that's that's not gonna be that.
But if you're looking for the romance is let's start our adventure in life
together on another adventure somewhere then I think that's a great you want to
go to a place that hasn't been overly visited. You really can look at it wide-eyed and like go in, you don't
want to go back to anywhere you've been, you know, it's just like go to Paris
another time with her but not sure, it's like yeah do something wild and
interesting. And if you do go there, soon as you get back, come back on, you'll be tripping.
You got it. Yeah. Alright. Yeah I love that idea. Where else are you thinking
about? We thought about Thailand and then we thought about Istanbul. Ooh. Yeah.
Thailand's the most accessible foreign place. Is it? It's really set up for tourism. You've been?
Been a few times. I heard you live like a king. You do live like a king. Beaches. I
can, well let's talk. Let's talk. I'll talk to you and May too. Because there's places you can go I heard you live like a king. You do live like a king. Beaches.
I can, well let's talk, let's talk. I'll talk to you in a minute too.
We'll talk.
Because there's places you can go,
would you relax, Tony's home,
he's still fucking freaking out.
Oh, ladies home.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
this has been Yubi Trippin.
Don't forget, check out Mark's amazing special
out to launch on YouTube right now.
Check him out for two of his podcasts,
two stories, the oldest longstanding one.
Buddy, wait one second.
Or we might be drunk.
I've been on both those podcasts.
Good way to start each of them is search Ari Shaffer
and those things.
And guys, leave a comment, subscribe,
tell a friend about this.
It's a fucking, I'm having a lot of fun with podcasts.
I wanna hear about what the Parisians think
about our assessment of their. Oh, I'd love to, like, you got it wrong. It's like, no you didn having a lot of fun with my podcast. I wanna hear what the Parisians think about
our assessment of their.
Oh, I'd love to, like, you got it wrong.
I was like, no, you didn't.
This is my experience there.
Yeah.
I don't have to go see everything.
You got that right.
You got that right, all right.
All right.
Bye, buddy, thank you.
Thank you.
Well, that's the episode, everybody.
Fin, episode Fin.
I am in right now the Patreon room patreon.com slash you be trippin
Do a few different things I'll cover a place sometimes in the you be trippin pod I also
Do this thing where people send me postcards from their travels around the globe and I read them
Comment on them stick them up behind me. I'm gonna fill up this whole fucking wall with the patrons and anyone's, what's it called, postcards.
You can send it to UBTripnPod151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 1003, USA. SA. This one from the Camino de España like we talked about with Jasmine Shaw. Somebody
took the trip to Camino. I've actually since we did that episode met a couple other people
that did Camino. It really is. It's like the SNL cast. It's or being a comedy star regular.
It's a unifying thing
And I was jealous of everyone. I met this old couple that did it. They were in their late 60s
Maybe early 60s mid 60s and they did nine days on the Camino. You don't do the whole thing
It's jelly shit
came to
Came to... It's tough to read with a stamp.
Came to Santiago de Compostela after the Camino de Santiago episode with Jasmine.
No fucking way, it got them there.
Bro, I'm going to tell you this right now.
Anybody who travels because of this podcast, it makes me feel good.
I mean, legitimately, it makes me feel fucking great.
If it can help incentivize you or inspire you to get out there in the world.
Fucking nice.
No, excuse me. Let me take that back.
Fucking noise.
Came to Santiago de Compostela after Camino de Santiago episode with Jasmine.
It's full moon and summer solstice.
Oh, wow.
Perfect for tripping in this cool old spiritual cities.
These are the Camino routes.
Stay tripping from Crispin.
He's got a Camino de España, like you see right here.
Pretty fucking cool, huh?
Pretty cool postcard.
Damn, that's fucking badass.
Guys, if you liked today's episode, make sure to reach out to Mark Norman, at Mark Norman
on Instagram.
If you reach out to him, tell him you had a good episode.
DM him.
Go ahead and diem him.
Look at this fucking stand.
Essa human compartif.
Espanol coreos.
Coreo means letter.
Duolingo is doing its job.
Very very slowly. nothing will fucking replicate actually
getting out there and fucking using the language so fucking cook or fucking busboy at the stand
and i tried to talk to him in spanish he goes he whips by me i got fucking nothing i got fucking
nothing ah i got 850 plus days and i can't even fucking I saw my stats too. It said like you can have
Basic conversation with people and ask directions what I'm a 24 I
Got a 30 and then I can talk a little deeper
Damn imagine being on the Camino, and they got a fucking post and sent it. Today's episode is produced by Your Moms House Network.
Thank you Your Moms House for making this happen.
I know a lot of people say Your Moms House has redeemed itself with my inclusion as a
member of the podcast network.
That's right, I think they have.
They were getting too big for their own britches, so to speak.
That's a pun on jeans. No, they're doing great.
They're always doing great. And, um,
I'm going to get pretty much everyone from your mom's house network on at some
point, Tim, uh, uh,
who else is there? Tim Bart,
Christina,
Charo, Tim Burt Charo I got Danny bin it was edited by Alan Caffe thank you very much Alan and that's I think that's the episode you
guys have nothing else to add please subscribe before you go. I'm trying to get to a hundred thousand subscribers. And if I get my
patreon up
To where should we do right here? Yeah, right there
Patreon up to 2,000 people. It's just starting three episodes a month is what you get for just five dollars
It's not all the money going to me
It's also going when we get to 2, it's the names on the wrong side.
It's also going, when we get to 2000, I'm going to send someone around the world.
I'm going to send someone on a trip, not necessarily a patron, but someone we find.
We're going to send them on a trip around the world, funded by the patrons of the UB
Trip and Patreon.
Do not go to Ari Shaffir Patreon because that is dead.
I've got to close it down fully.
It's the UB Trip and Patreon. gotta close it down fully. So you be trippin' Patreon.
That's it you guys. I hope you had a good time. France was cool when I went. I
should do an episode about me because my experience with Mark Norman and this is
the podcast is gonna be way different than yours. Mark went on a romantic trip.
I was there for a memoir writing class with Rolf Potts.
It was fun, that's where I met Jasmine.
I met Zylia also, I did an episode of my other podcast,
and Zane Jurecki, I met there too,
and that's where I did that fucking podcast about Morocco,
from a hostel in Paris during Rolf's writing class.
Gonna do a lot more from all over the world.
Got one coming from Romania about Tokyo.
Got one coming from Romania about Tokyo got one coming from
Australia about
Guatemala got another one from Australia coming about New Zealand
The Guatemala one I was there with the cast
All right guys. Thank you very much for tuning in until next week. Who's next week? I believe it's gonna be H fully I
Guys, thank you very much for tuning in. Until next week. Who's next week? I believe it's gonna be H. Foley.
I believe it's gonna be H. Foley on Grease.
And I got a special announcement for you.
I got a new studio coming.
Oh yeah, I should've said this earlier.
Fuck, we're already at 640.
Well, guys, I guess if nobody's listening,
because they're not, leave in the comments
if you have heard it this far.
I built a new studio. Me and Toby McGuire, yeah, that's right, Toby McGuire.
From Spider-Man, from the Spider-Man franchise.
Came in, he left his job, Toby McGuire left his job
as an actor to help me build a new studio.
Toby McMullen from the RU Garbage.
We went and sat, we spent a whole fucking summer together.
We built up a goddamn new studio.
You'll love it.
Dee's helped as well.
Dee did all the building.
Me and Toby fucking did the designing. Toby helped with all. These helped as well Do you did all the building me and Toby fucking did the design Toby helped with all the help help?
They did it all already
And I can't wait for you guys to see it. It'll be next week. It'll be next week
Let's call it with H Foley on Greece
I'm excited to show you the thing was I was gonna say this tomorrow next week's episode
But I was waiting to see if this podcast would catch on before really committing some money to it.
And it has caught on.
I'm having a fucking blast doing it.
And I believe you guys are having a blast listening.
Different experiences all the time.
If you're looking for a travel guide,
look no further than Lonely Planet.
If you're looking for experiential stories,
look no further than the UB Trippin' podcast.
Yeah, that's right, Mark Norman's version of of Paris it's gonna be way different than my version
on a writing class by myself around the city not romantic at all smoking
ciggies rolling cigarettes smoking near babies at cafes that's all I wanted to
do right in my journal alright until next week they troll I can't wait for
you guys to see this fucking studio. It's fucking badass.
It's badass.
Bye everybody, see you next week.
Oh wait, wait, wait.
Bonjour.
No wait, adieu.
Adieu, adieu.
That's it, it's adieu.
Fuck.