You Be Trippin' - Parker McCollum Goes To Switzerland | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

Follow Parker on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/parkermccollum/ Go see Parker on Tour here: https://www.parkermccollum.com/ On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', country star Parker McCollum takes Ari to Zermatt, Switzerland! COVID shut down the boys' snowboarding trip to Japan, so they pivoted to the Matterhorn...which Parker's mom swears she climbed. Between brutal jet lag, Subway chicken nuggets in Geneva, and a sketchy golf cart ride up the mountain, just getting there was a journey. Parker gets taken out by a little kid 30 minutes into his first run and comes clean about how he really broke his collarbone (dabs in a gondola). They get into snowboarding on Adderall, cleaning it up on the road, and why mushrooms are the only drug Parker would recommend. Turns out Parker is a big Amazing Racist fan. Uf Wiederluege! You Be Trippin' Ep. 140 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:03 - Country or Americana? 00:06:45 - Making His Favorite Record 00:10:23 - Parker Goes to Switzerland 00:16:42 - Jet Lag & Subway Nuggets 00:21:01 - Leaving for Switzerland 00:27:20 - Where to Next? 00:34:25 - Dabs in the Gondola 00:41:05 - Snowboarding on Adderall 00:51:29 - Molly & Mushrooms 00:56:54 - Spliffs & Bumper Stickers 01:04:23 - Travel Tip 01:13:28 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. Howdy y'all? And welcome to a brand new episode of UB Tripping. Today on the podcast, we've got country music sensation, Parker McCollum coming on and tell us about Switzerland, his trip there with his buddies. Blyde, please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening.

We also got the UB Trippin Patreon going, where every single episode of Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank is going up little by little. They're all up there each week for you guys to listen to old classics. I've been listening to some of them, and they're actually quite hilarious. Listen to going blind with Tom Segura, to have me dying just out of the opening gate.

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And next week, the next two weeks, you guys subscribe. Next two weeks, Ari and Maddie and one of the greatest trips you'll ever hear about, me and Ryan O'Neill, going to Peru. You guys, you want to subscribe.

Let's start this week, though. Yeah, right. Or just be like, I'm like in a list. Let's do the documentary and go across America and just interview have you ever seen

hands on a hard body uh-uh it's a change your fucking life if you ever take the time to watch it but uh we don't we don't need to go there

but you need to you should watch it sometime dude it's some famous director said that's the greatest documentary of all time ever made

but it's this town in deep deep east Texas where that's like very small town I think it was in long view Texas and the car it's like in the 90s

the car dealership local car dealership did a dealership did a deal where if whoever keeps their hand on this car the longest gets to have the car. Yeah. And it's like, it's going to go then and like National Archives one day. But like we could do that same thing but for-

For mall cups or just parking lot of security. And call it you can't park there. Dude, if I, if there was like 30 people and eventually I'm getting tired, I'm like, all right, I'm done. If you get down to one-on-one, what would make you not? What would make you take your hand out that car? Nothing. I don't know. If you watched it, you wouldn't ask the question.

Okay. What is it? Hand on a hard body? Hands on a hard body. I'll watch it. It is so worth your time. It's one of the funniest shit. It's really the funniest things you'll ever see in your whole lot.

All right. Hell yeah. And it probably had a $75 budget to make it. It's truly wonderful. Yeah, yeah. If it only takes $75 to make something like that for parking lot security. Yeah. I'm in for $37.50.

I'll split away 50-50 dude Yeah Right down the middle Where you've been and where you're going This is our race travel show Yeah We're gonna talk about travel today It's you

Yeah Harker McCallum thanks for coming in Heard your last album I just got in the country not too long ago Do you think it's a country record What is it, Americana? I don't know Guys here you'll be chipping

We're trying to bridge the gap between Americana and country Because to everyone else It's one fucking genre Yeah I just I don't I don't know, dude. I've never really... What do you think is rap?

Sure, yeah. You could probably get away with that today. Call me a rap? Yeah. You could find somebody in today's world that would be like, he's right. Wait, do you not think that's country? I don't know.

What is country nowadays? You know? It's such this broad thing. And I'm like, when I, the country music I grew up on, when I'm like, when I was a kid wanting to be a country singer, like, it doesn't sound like that music. Oh, right.

You know, it sure doesn't. There's, there's, you know, moments of it that I think do. Parts of it, there's times that you're like, ooh, yeah, you could draw that comparison. I'm like, I don't know what it is. I've never known what to call because I don't sound, I've never thought I sounded like any of the guys that I, or gals that I grew up like listening to and idolizing. We didn't have me to dive down. No, that's okay.

Well, it's a good thing. What is it? What is the country where you grew up in like, brum, brum, wow. 100%. straight and you know Ronnie Millsap and Randy Travis and I mean dude

Johnny Paycheck Yeah yeah dude Bus did not Walking around in a day's Yeah I mean that is some That is as country as I love the shit of that song

There's actually a great Blues cover of that song I forget who does it That's worth checking out if you like Johnny Paycheck But yeah that's fucking I love a guy like that you're like, you're either gonna, you're gonna beat up your wife

or go to jail for something unrelated. Like that's, or getting a knife fight. And my older brother is such a great songwriter, and he was the one that, he's the reason I knew about all these guys, such a young age, but like, he was always so adamant. You gotta live the songs you write, right?

You gotta live the songs you write. And I was always, for 10 years after I graduated high school, I was like, so I gotta live the songs I'm writing. But I wasn't beating any women or going to jail. Dude, you gotta try it. Yeah, I've heard.

I've read on Reddit. Easiest fight. You'll ever get it. I've heard on Reddit that it's great. But I mean, first of all, their stance is like lefty usually for no reason. There's another great point as to why it may not be a country record, too. Yeah. There's no other than that.

Yeah. Anyway, I really enjoyed it regardless. Thanks. I appreciate it, man. How did you even find that record? Well, buddy, I don't know if you know about this, but there's a site called Spotify. Hmm. And it is wild how much.

how their record collection. That was the answer. You could have just said Spotify. Yeah, but I just wanted to do a country version. It's like a, yeah. You had one line in there that got me too. What is it? I tell myself not to drink, but I listen to drugs.

Yeah, that's not on that record, but I appreciate that. Bullshit. It's on there. Bullshit. Let's bet a billion. Let's bet a billion. Let's do. How about if I win this bet, you have to fund the entire budget for the documentary.

Okay. No, no, you're fucked. That's no way. I heard it. Yeah. I wish the guy that wrote and sang the song was here, he could tell us. Okay, hold on.

Wouldn't that be brilliant? No. I ain't seen an old school globe like that in a minute. My blue? Is it on that? No, sir, it's on a song called Handle on You, and it says, I tell myself that I should quit, but I don't listen to Drunks.

Well, then what the fuck did I say? Yeah. Didn't you say that? Isn't that the line that you said? Yeah. Yeah, a different song, different record. But what do you mean? Now, I have.

have discovered. Was it you? Yeah, that's me. Wait, so what do you mean different record than this new one? Yeah. Well, yeah, I didn't hear that one. Yeah. Oh, that's why you were asking me.

Where'd you hear the album? No, the one that's not out yet. This will come out when this cut that comes out. I don't have access to that. No, you're. Dude, I'm not an ear kid. You're, we're on different pages, all right? We're reading different books right now.

Your last album I really liked. Thanks, dude. Yeah, the new one I really liked it, too. That was my favorite record I've ever made by a hundred miles. Really? Why? I don't know. Dude, it was like the,

It was the hardest I'd ever go on. Yeah. It was the, the, I was just like, you know, desperate to be like, I want to be, I want to impress myself again. And, uh, yeah. And I did. And it was cool. It was one album of the year, did the ACMs a few months ago for that record and, like, never had a single conversation or a single thought during any point in the process of that record was anybody. We were in New York City when we made it.

And I never even, album of the year, and no award of any kind ever even crossed my mind when making that thing. So when we like, you know, several, what was that a year later? Almost a year later, it wins album of the year. That was cool, you know. That is cool.

Yeah. Got a recognition and stuff. Anyway, let's talk about going somewhere. I've been places. Yeah. I am going to, hopefully you'll send me that, or your guys will send me that album. So when this does come out,

I'll always start and I can put it to something. Dude, you got to get some juice. But I had orange juice this morning. Nah. And first of all, and I want some. And I want some, but I'm a little tired of orange juice. I'm a little tired of orange juice or something.

I've always thought that'd be a great Halloween costume. But orange juice? Yeah. Just got like Jewish guys. You can just wear Yama and wear like a huge orange outfit. That's not bad. Yeah. I'm orange juice.

Yeah. You need two people. Yeah. Well, you can do one apple or. Yeah. Grape or whatever have you. Bro, yes. But yeah, isn't that brilliant?

Hey, everybody out there, I give you permission. Go ahead and do that. Yeah. Parker already said that's fine. And dude, what's, I don't know anything about, you know, people always make like Jewish jokes. Yeah. You know, like you just said the Jews.

Yeah. And I'm like, I really don't know. Did you grow up in Nashville? They grew up here. I'm from Texas. I don't really know why they're funny. I don't know why they wouldn't be funny or why they would be funny. Like I have zero.

It's kind of like you could pick like, I don't know, look on this map. And I don't know if this is even a real place, Hispania. I know nothing about that, you know? Yeah. That's not as funny. I don't know anything. When people talk about like Jews and money or like Jews have all the money or Yeah.

Not all of it. We have a lot of it. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I don't know why. I've never looked into it. And I'm an incredibly like curious person. Like I'm constantly reading. I read all the time about just, I go down every day of my life.

I'm reading about something just so random. But you're the only person in Tennessee or Texas that has not looked up. Why did the Jews have all the money? Yeah. Yeah. You know? If I, maybe I should. Yeah.

here's why we're funny because we try to get out of fights because we're not strong and it's except for one major time it's worked yeah except for one major time when our mouth could not get us out of the trouble big time yeah what a loss um but yeah I don't have I mean I mean you're talking about 72 to 7 at half maybe maybe I should go on a trip yeah maybe I should go on a trip and and find some more out about the Jewish community yeah go back in time to 931 you'll find I don't want to go to that one. I don't want to go to that one. I have been to switch.

I went snowboarding in Switzerland. You always a border? For the most part. Okay. Okay. Nice. I can make it look in a photograph like I'm a lot better than I am, but I enjoy it a lot. Yeah.

Yeah, we went, we actually, we were going to Japan. We've been saying for years we wanted to go snowboarding in Japan. Yeah. I heard the powders like fell back. Apparently it's, yeah, apparently there's something special about it or something, humidity in the air that makes it like a different texture. I don't know. Okay.

And so we were originally going to Japan and this was like 2021, 2021, something. And like I think the COVID restrictions were actually still pretty strict getting over there and getting out. So like a couple, like a few weeks before that trip, we pivoted to Zermott, Switzerland. I've been there. Yeah, you liked it. Dude. Oh, this is great. Like the Maddohorn and all that.

Yeah. I thought it was a fake place. Yeah, it's not. I thought it was just Disney, so I'm skiing past it. I remember when I was on, when we were there to, my mom was like, on the phone, she loved Switzerland. She's like, I went to Switzerland and I climbed the Maddohorn. And I'm like, looking at this thing and I'm like, yeah, what? I don't think you climb.

She's like, no, no, no, we climbed all the way to the top. There's no way. And I'm looking at it. Wait, what? No fucking way. I'm like, mom, I think you're thinking of a different. Anything. Mountain.

Yeah. I don't think you climb. I don't think I could climb that. There's only like 30 people I think that have and people have like died climbing it. How the fuck you're gonna climb? I never found out what she actually climbed. Not that.

Yeah, that's the Madahorn right there. Yeah, it's, it's... Yeah, fuck off, lady. I don't think... No way. I'm not saying I underestimate my mom's climbing abilities. It's just pre-solo. You don't even know about it?

Just, yeah, seven surprising facts about the Madahorn. If number six is that your mom actually did climb it? Yeah. What if it was? That was a surprising fact? That's very surprising. Yeah, there's just no way, Ma. Yeah, there's just no way, Ma.

One of two women to ever do it. Yeah, but you ski by, oh, that's cool, so you went there. Yeah, that got me back in the skiing. Really? I stopped like 15 years, then I was going to visit my brother in Zurich, and then he's like, let's go and we'll go there. You skied like Breck and stuff like that, right in Colorado? Yeah, Vail usually and then just... It's better.

Well, like, Utah's the best. The skiing in America, I thought, like the overall, like, you know, you know, the you know, the run, the actual runs, like I enjoyed Colorado and stuff. I thought that the runs and the character of like the, you know, the mountain was, was cooler in America than it was Switzerland. Okay.

But it was just breathtakingly gorgeous over there, dude. Like, it was Christmas every night. We'd walk to dinner and be, like, snowing outside. And you're like, we had this house. Like, I'm on the deal. So you're walking down to the town. You know, you can see the town from the balcony. And it was just,

It's a freaking hallmark postcard place, you know. I think it literally is on Hallmark Postcards. That makes sense. Had you ever done anything like that before? Been out to a place like that? No, I don't really leave the continental U.S. much. They got just about everything I need here. Yeah, I mean.

I like Hawaii. I've been to Alaska and, you know, Mexico's great, Bahamas, shore. Went to St. Lucia one time. But yeah, continental, continental U.S. this old boy right here. Yeah.

Yeah, but now you're in this other place. You're in Switzerland. It's got to be fresh. Do people speak English there? Enough or no? Some people did. I don't really know what they were speaking. And it's cool over there, too, because we didn't get to do it because it actually was closed on the day.

You kind of have to plan for. You've got to take your passport with you up the mountain. You can, like, ski into France and some other place. Yeah. And a day we tried to do it. It was closed for some reason. So, like, we had our passports went all the way up there and couldn't do it. but I mean, I don't know if it would matter.

Would you have been like, hey, we're in France. That would be cool to say. That would have been it, you know? Wait, why, that's crazy. Why do you prefer that, like, like Breck over that? The runs felt, like, in Switzerland, it was just like, you're just ripping straight downhill the whole time. Like, if you want to hit, like, some cool trees,

like, there was no terrain park. Interesting. You know, or, like, the character of, like, the mountains in Breck in Montana and Utah and stuff, like, You know, there's so much to do on your way down. Yeah, if you go through the woods. In Switzerland, it felt more just like, go up, come down. Go up, come down.

Go up, come down. And it's freaking breathtakingly gorgeous. So like, you know, it's not like I didn't enjoy it. I just, like, when I left, I was like, man, I think that, like, if you had those runs over there, it'd be. It had long runs, too. Yeah. They're like so long. You get up gondola to gondola.

And like the, there was like this little chalet, I think, is what it's called thing. on like the little route home. You know, you would ski all the way to the bottom, like this skinny route on. It's so sketchy the whole way. And there's a ton of people on. It'd be, like, pulling this little chalet. It's got like four or five tables.

And we would get like, it was like a champagne bar, I think. And we would like drink champagne. I'll pray ski. Well, you'd have like three, you probably have like three to five minutes once you left the chalet before you were down. So like you'd, like, a long way home, like right before the end of it,

you would like pull off. And you got the view of the Matherhorn and deals. Oh, that's tits. Yeah, it was baller. How much was the food in those places? I don't remember. Comparatively? When was it when you went four years ago?

So you already kind of had money. Yeah, three or four years ago. It was quite most of my meals at like a truck stop. Or not a truck stop, a trailer, like a food truck. Really? By our house, yeah. I found like one thing that I thought was like really good. What?

And I just, I don't even remember what it was. But I ate it like every day for lunch and dinner. It was cool. We had hired a person to like come cook breakfast for us every morning, which was cool. Did you get Swiss food? It was like Swiss. Yeah, yeah, of course I was trying things and like a lot of fondue and like all these different dishes. And, you know, a couple of them I was like, yeah, yeah, that's pretty good.

The other stuff I was like, that's pretty odd. Yeah. But it was fine. I mean, it's a, it's, it was such a ass whoop in the, like kind of like the jet lag. Because we flew to Germany. And then we flew to Geneva. And we had like two nights in Geneva to like try to like, I guess acclimate or whatever, try to get on some sort of sleep schedule.

And that was brutal. Like, and everything closes in Geneva at like 1 p.m. for some reason. Very early. For the afternoon or for all? For like the night. No, fuck. You know, you would finally fall asleep. And then when you would wake up and you'd be like, you're just starving.

I ended up finding a subway was the only thing open. I ate chicken nuggets. At the subway, this is true story. And I was by myself and just, you know, you're just like a zombie for like two days because you just can't. Chicken nuggets at a subway, that's not even what you eat at a subway here.

I know, can you believe they have that? That's not even a sandwich. Yeah, it was odd. And the chips were different, the soda was different. It's just different, dude. It's cool to go experience new stuff like that. Yeah, what do you mean different? Just different brands?

Yeah, I mean, to me, it's not as good. You know, if those people came over here, maybe they would think ours isn't as good. but because it's not what they're used to but um it just uh yeah and then and i remember when we flew back we played the governor's ball here in texas at like 7 p.m. that night so we went on stage i like 2 a.m. like 6 a.m. uh swiss time and i was it was just i was like i'm on stage and i'm like I'm never leaving the country again. Like this is the toughest thing I've ever done in a lot.

It's good view for doing it though. But the, it's phenomenal, dude. I'd never, I'd never, that's as far away from home as I've ever been. And I've been traveling nonstop for 12 years. Yeah,

but it's so interesting though, it's road travel. Like going on the road is different than actually going to a place and like seeing it and like, yeah, and you're like a tourist. Yeah,

how did it feel? It was all right. Yeah. Yeah, it was all right. You know, I feel like, Like had I seen it on YouTube.

That would have been enough? Yeah, it may have been enough. Come on. It was baller, dude. It was so sick, dude. And I went with... Here would you go with. Two guys in my band, and then my photographer went with us.

My photographer, Chris, wasn't going. It was the night before we were leaving. He was at my house. And I was like, hey, you're going to switch around tomorrow. And he's like, I don't have any clothes. And I was like, we're going to go buy you clothes. Hey guys. I'm going to break in today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest,

Parker McCollum. He has a new album coming out. me to be out this week, but I don't know if it is. I can't find any information on the web. It's an acoustic album. I think it might be January, 27, to be honest, but it might be out. But he is touring the UK right now. He's at Manchester, London, all in October, then Birmingham, Glasgow, Belfast, Dublin, the Honda, oh, and then back in America on his own, the Honda Rodeo Fest, Flores Country Store, and Heloet, Texas, Houston, Corpus Christi, Round Rock, Denver, Fort Worth, then Melbourne, Sydney, Willow Bank, and back to Texas.

Georgetown, Port Charlotte, Codd at Wisconsin, Columbus, Ohio. Get tickets at parkermacallum.com slash tour. Guys, that's it. Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening. We got some great ones for you. The next, I'm going to tell you what we're doing. Today is scary. And last week was scary because of Halloween.

It's frightening. I'll tell you the theme later, why it's so frightening. November is going to be all travel vloggers month. We got seal on tour, sabbatical, Rolf Potts, Charles World Traveler, Mike O.K., it's going to be a great month. So subscribe, and then the rest of this month we got Ryan O'Neill doing a trip me and myself and him, went to Machu Picchu, and then we had some really horrific... Yeah, that'll fit into the scary.

Yeah, it was a really horrific time. We had some trouble. It's an episode you want to listen to. And Ari Maddie on an episode that... was right that we lost completely. I don't know which one's going to be next week. Ari or O'Neill and then flip for the next one. But please subscribe.

Leave a comment. Check right now if you're subscribed. If you're not, hit it. And that's it, guys. Let's get back to the episode, Switzerland with Parker McCollum. Yaw, y'all. So we went and bought him clothes. Ski clothes.

And he doesn't ski. He just hung out at the house all day, every day. But it was so funny because my bass player, Jason, I told him, he's a big skier. And I had told him, I was like, hey, look. I'll pay for the trip. You book it. Like plan everything, do all the stuff. So we do that.

He does all this stuff. Books this trip. He's got all the travel and the, you know, the little golf cart ride up the mountain from, I don't know. It was a crazy journey just to get twosermott. And so he does, he does. Wait, what?

It's a train? It's a golf car. It's like a golf car. It's like a... What is it? I don't even really know. What do you mean? From where to where?

To get up to where? We left Zermont Or we left Frankfurt Geneva Yeah And had like a car service Drive us a couple of hours To like the base of this mountain

In Zermott maybe somewhere like that And then we got out at like this little checkpoint And we got in We got in a golf cart thing It was like a not a golf cart It was like a road It's like a legal Legalized golf cart

thing box. It was very small. Like how we got all of it. And I had taken my snowboard over there, which actually had gotten lost all over there, which was great in the luggage deal. But like how we got all of our luggage and four grown men in this golf cart with a guy driving it and went up this.

I remember just being like, word. Die. Yeah, they're going to be murdered or we're never going to make it. This is our final destination. And what do you take you to like a lodge? We had like a house. It was a nice. house. It's like a two-story house. And I remember like NFL playoffs were going on. So we're watching

like the first night we got two. Zermott. You know, we're watching NFL playoff game at like, I don't know. It's like midnight 1 a.m. Well, I go to sleep. I'm like, hey, I'm going to wake up. We're getting up every morning like at sunrise and go and skiing. And ski and snowboarding. And I go to, I walk upstairs and go to my room and like 12 will I wake up. My phone's dead. And I'm like, damn, it's got to be time to go skiing. So I go downstairs and Chris, my photographer, is still watching the game? And I'm like, man, what time is it?

Like, is it time to go skiing? And he's like, you went upstairs 20 minutes ago. Like, it was only the second quarter of the game. He just passed out and played. Yeah, and it was just so disoriented from the jet lag and the whole deal that. Yeah, jet lag is real. It's very real.

But anyways, back to what I was saying, Chris, the night before, we'd go buy him clothes. And he has, and I'm like, hey, like, he exempt having to get, like, a credit card in order to get a ticket because they don't have one or whatever to, you know, He just buys like a typical seat in the back. It's a miserable flight the whole way there in a regular seat.

And I've got the laydown thing in the front and we're like waiting and lying. And remember Jason had planned everything. He'd done all the work, planned everything. And they call Chris's name over the speaker and they're like, well, you please come to the front. And they give him first class laydown all the way over there. Nice. Well, then we get on the plane and my assistant Lane is with us and he's in a regular seat with Jason.

And they walk up and they're like, lame piece. You've been upgraded to first class, lay down the whole way. And Jason, who planned the entire thing, had to sit. And he's like,

for 18 hours. Man, they made the decision. That's nothing I can do. And we're all up there just, you know, bullshitting around. We're like popping up,

going from one person's little pod to another. Like, dude, we're having this the time of our lives. He's back there just eating shit. You go back and like, Razum? No. I felt we felt,

he was so mad at everybody and just so, so put out. You would have been happier if none of you got bumped. They randomly all got upgraded to first class except for him. Dude, when you get that call, when you're like, you've changed your seat, like, why? And they're like, it's much better. And you're like, nice.

Let me see if I can. Oh, great, the message never sent. I don't have any of the photos. But, yeah, the, I don't know if I would ever go back. Yeah. But I am glad that I went. How was the skiing? Why wouldn't you go back?

It's just such an asswopin to get there and get back, dude. You're going to tour, though. You're going to tour over there, but that won't be a ski season. I think we will at some point, yeah. Yeah. But even, like, you know, when you go, when you do that, you know, you're gone for a while. We went, you know, we busted ass got over there. I think we skied for six days and then busted back, so.

And my secret is, the long, like, tours. What's that? It's different now because you got, you got offspring. Yeah. do the tour and then stay on the end of it for five days, six days, just for fun. Yeah, that would be fun. You know, make it like, I'm already out here. But I don't think I would ever do that.

I'm always so ready to go home. Why is such a homer? I've been gone for 12 years. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just non-stop gone all the time. It wears on you. 99% of my day is spent thinking about, how am I going to get home quicker?

I'm going to get back to my house. Sooner. Your band's going to start hating you when you're like, let's get that 6 a.m. flight. Like, bro, go on. Man, I've done a thousand of them. You know, Denver Airport at 545,

Atlanta's airport at 545. L.A.X. JFK. You're not Denver Airport with no sleep and you start like really thinking like, yeah, there's storage facilities here for bodies. I see it now. Dude, and just those lines,

it's like the lines. Yeah. You come down that escalator at the Denver airport and you see all those people when you're like, you know, like you would do some unforgivable things to just have to skip it, just get to skip it. You ever get into a line with like,

and then like a fan is like right behind you? Oh yeah. And then they'll say something like, hey, hey, and then you just want to like, and like we should stay up all night. Yeah. You know, doing lots of stuff. And then we would go to an early flight.

And you just be. Yeah, and you just be in the airport line. And people would be like, are you? And you're like, Not right now. I'm sure not. I'm nobody right now. Wrong guy.

I'm dead. Like, are you got the sniffles? I'm like, yeah, I got the sniffles. Do you have a favorite place that you've been? I've been to a lot of places, but like, Myanmar I loved and East Timor and then like Peru. I don't know. What was Peru like?

Have I been to Peru? No way. No, I went to Puerto Rico. Are those close to each other? I don't think so. Let's see. Puerto Rico's I think up there. Yeah, you see that right there?

That's you. That's a lot of people, though. Especially Texas and Nashville, which is like, I'm good. And there's somebody from all that. It feels the same way. You can find right there. Somebody right here, let's say. You could probably find right here.

Yeah. Hyderabad in India. Never heard of her. and then they go. Somebody there is like, hey, you should go to America. And then somebody there is just like you. They go, I can shit in the streets here anywhere I want. Why would I go to a place where I don't know which streets I can shit on?

You can shit in the streets here. They let you do that now. Right outside the mothership, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I've never been, dude. I want to go there too. Really?

Yeah. I wish I had been there and had that to talk about. The mothership? Yeah. I've always wanted to go. Yeah. Isn't that where they do kill Tony? Yeah, I see that on the red old.

time it's good stuff Tony rules yeah it's that show's insane I pretty much just have my dick out on that show yeah well it's a good thing to have out yeah it's like let red band blur you want to have it in when you went on this Switzerland trip were you stingle that or or no I was married that damn I was gonna ask if you now okay now but uh probably good place to do that yeah plus you can pass a Swiss you think so tall yeah you can pass as German Don't they make Rolex over there in Switzerland? If you say so. Yeah, I think of it.

I remember walking around a real nice Rolex store in Vermont. They had cool stores. McDonald's is really weird over there. I don't remember, but I remember standing at the kiosk and almost like the chicken nuggets at Subway. There was just some options where you were like, this is so bizarre. How bizarre. Like they don't have that here in Mike where my McDonald's. In Thailand, they have at Burger King, they have yellow sticky rice.

Is it good? It's fine. Have you been to Japan? No. That's where I want to go. That's probably the number one. If you're like, hey, you've got to leave today. Yeah.

And you can go anywhere in the world. Japan. What calls you about Japan? I don't know. I think it's probably partly because we were supposed to go there and we didn't. So now I'm kind of like, hey. But I would love, I don't know. I see a lot of stuff on YouTube about Japan.

It looks pretty sick. Dude, I was looking at the snow once for like all through Colorado and Utah and Vancouver and like where's the best, whatever. And then it was like, oh, this is, you know, the ski report. But then it was like, oh, but there's this place in Japan that has double that snow of anywhere in the States. Yeah, and apparently it's like the purest. What is that? Where is that place?

I don't know. I really want to get there. I would 100% go to Japan tomorrow if it was possible. By the way, I heard they love old school country music there. Really? Not a joke. This is what we just had last time last time we were pocket was looking up.

I wonder if they would like this new record. I bet they would. We should give it to them. Let's give this record to Japan. To Japan? Let's give it to Japan. I mean, it looks like it's like... Like as a gift for the entire country.

The way they gave us those apple blossoms, cherry blossoms. They gave some cherry blossoms. Yeah, I think along the National Mall in D.C. All those like the cherry blossoms are coming every year. I didn't know that. I think that's from Japan. Could have been China. One of there's cameras in them.

Maybe. Might be. Maybe they put books in there. Some, some Bluetooth trees. Dude, Japan, after we really fucking... Bluetooth cherry blossoms? That sounds legit.

Yeah. It's like, what are you guys saying? Like what? Reject all cookies. Yeah, no, they love country music. They love old country Western music. I'm surprised you. I hadn't been there.

Yeah, I should wait a night at Tokyo's... What is this? I did see a video about this. This is a Texas name bar. I saw a video of a bluegrass bar and it was like the smallest, coolest bluegrass bar. I was like this video is gonna ruin that. Right?

Yeah, now you're gonna have... You have to see... They're gonna be like, we average seven million Americans here a year. Texas Hong is important to Japan. Yeah, dude, as soon as you mention anything. So you know what I do usually is I bleep, bleep places out?

Everybody's got all the secrets, man. I know. You ever find out of a cool bar? You live in Nashville? I live here. You live here. Oh, okay. Oh, they're from Nashville.

Well, I live... There's no one to San Antonio. Yeah, so you find a cool spot and you're like, oh, this is awesome. And then like you go back again like no it's great you bring your wife like this is fucking sick and then a month later You're like well is there a bouncer now in a line there is like a really Cool secret bar in Austin that I went to a couple of times Really? Yeah and that's all I can say about it

Yeah don't say it do you know anything about this? Describe some of it or are you saying no because I know a secret one yeah It's very secret and there's a room Yeah in the back with a big bowl bowl bowl just a bowl yeah old bowl and a nice you know it's filled with lots of stuff to help you stay I don't know that one time I don't know that bar you never been there uh uh well I look maybe you're saying no because you're is that Tony's place I don't know

I don't remember the guy's name I went there a couple of times it was wild really yeah you got like know somebody know somebody yeah you don't know about this I don't think so all right Well, you'll find out at some point. And then you're going to remember this conversation. You're going to be like, oh, wow. Oh, yeah, Parker told me about that place. Yeah. And you'll always see, like, I don't want to name any names, but there's like massive global celebrities in there.

Really? Yeah, sometimes. What's in the bowl, adrenachromes? Some of that Japan powder, man. Yeah, nice. No, it's, uh. Dude, I did it a girl there once that she could tell, you could put a pill in her hand behind her She could tell you what pill it was and the dosage.

It's not a good talent to have. It was crazy. Impressive nonetheless, but not a good talent to have. You know how she ate pills? With him still behind her back? Oh, no. Yeah. I never understood that.

It hits harder, I guess. I know. I know. Wouldn't it take long? Or wouldn't it be, it's, I don't know. It's harder faster. I don't know. It's that or boofin.

I've never done that. Going on vacation? We're here for it. With kids, who turned the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and while watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is the human right? Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that, because whether it's a road trip or a business trip,

where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2% and your dinner is whatever is open. Yeah, here for that too. Enterprise, we're here for it. Yeah, I've never booked anything. I think those guys all out there, they love boofing. I did Keith one time. You boofed Keith? Yeah.

That's it, you have to light it up. That was a bad eye. You light it up and booffin? They don't have a lighter, man. Oh, yeah. Worst idea ever. Dude, necessity is the mother of invention. Yeah, that was a one-time deal.

Lowly recommended. That'd be like, how you feeling like grainy? Yeah, I need to go to the hospital right now. But I'm in high school, and my mom's asleep, and I don't want to wake her up and tell her what I did. She's like, you know, I got to get up for the Maddohorn tomorrow. Yeah, she's climbing to Maddohorn tomorrow. Sorry, Mom, we got to go to the hospital.

How was the skiing out there? Did you do well? Snowboarding? You know, it's kind of funny. You go all the way over there. And I snapped my collarbone a few years before that, skiing in Colorado. At a music festival about an hour before we were supposed to go on stage. And so I snow, I don't go as hard as I used to.

you know I do especially we were like coming back starting a tour and stuff so I was I was taking easy but like dude the first day we get there we immediately we get there like middle of the day we're like let's go hit some afternoon runs before the mountain closes we don't know anywhere to go so like the first place we go is the most populated so much traffic on it you know we don't know anything about anything yet and I mean 10 minutes after we get on the very first run this little kid comes flying in front of me and cuts me off you know and I like Like I'm sliding out of control, and I slide in like an ice wall. And the first thing to hit the wall is like, the, you know, bony part of your hip that sticks out.

And I'm like, I'm laying there, and I'm like, I just flew. And I'm injured. To the moon, to snowboard like an idiot. And now I can't, and I'm done. I've had my board on for one hour, not even, 30 minutes. And so I lay there for like 10, 15 minutes, and I'm like, I got to get down the mountain. So it ended up not being as bad. It was like, at first I was like, you broke it.

Yeah. And then it got real bruise and it looked nasty, but I still boarded the whole time we were there. I think I took one day. I was like, hey, like it's pretty, it's pretty gnarly. Yeah. And it was fine, but other than that, skied pretty well. You did terrain parks usually? Man, I, real, real lightly.

Yeah. You know, usually just go look at them. Yeah. Nowadays. So me and O'Neill are we'll get there. And, you know, there's all these like 17 to 25-year-old. And you can just tell they're like sick. Yeah.

And then you're like waiting and then they'll like look at you and they're like, if you want to go, you can go. I'm like, that's sick. There's a range of years where you cannot be embarrassed to try in front of people who are good. You know, when you're like six years old, you're like, can I get next? Yeah. And it doesn't matter. And then right about 12, you're like, I'm so embarrassed.

I'm as good as them. And then at 40 onwards, you're like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I'm going to get about eight inches of air and I'm going to expect high five. And it feels like you're 17 feet off the ground. Oh my God. Yeah. You ever go to one of those jumps and as you get the top, you're just like, nope.

Oh, yeah. You just completely, yeah, you just back out immediately. All the time we're going, you know, it's like you get the same run a few times. You know, there might be a little tree spot you can pop in and out of. Yeah. You know, the locals got some little place where you can catch air off kind of the side of the run. Yeah. And I'll be like, oh, I'm going to hit him on the way down.

Yeah, he's like, oh, get to him. And you come in a little too hot. You're like, nope. Boom, back around. Yeah. It's the best. Everybody's like you hit it. You're like, no.

But you're like you're like straight lighting right before like I'm gonna do this It's all about the entry dude if you in if you're like if you're in the right position Yeah right before and that's what I didn't love about the Switzerland skiing is that there wasn't a ton of those opportunities on the Jumps like that yeah just little I'm not trying look I ain't trying to hit the half bite yeah You know you just little grab little Oh you're that good? I mean I'm talking you know blow blow you know just no you can jump in touch Touch. Wow.

That's fucking high level. You can also reach down with the board on the ground and touch it. But there was like, when I say like the character of the mountain, like it felt like the ski culture over there was much more just like leisure activity. Yeah. Kind of straight up and down, you know. Were there places in the woods that go smoke? Damn.

That's the best thing about Colorado. I'm trying to think if we ever found any over there. I can't remember. In Colorado, you're just skiing there, you're just like, I smell weed. Yeah, you see like a smoke coming out of. Who might be like a smoke coming out of. Yeah, it might be me. Yeah, I mean, that's how I wrote my collarbone. Smoking too much.

Oh, we're ripping dabs and the gondola. Coughing and then, yeah. We were ripping dabs. And so, like, I get out of the gondola and I'm like, right, here we go. What are you ripping dabs? Like with like a torch? Oh, the whole deal, yeah. You had a rig on the...

The guy, I did. I didn't. What? Yeah. And that's really how I broke my collarbone. But, um... Yeah, bone was sticking out and everything, dude. Wait, what?

Yeah. Wait, wait, how do you smoke, how do you break your collarbone doing dabs? You were fucked up. Yeah. And that's why, yeah, but it's nice. And we were like playing this music festival. We were supposed to go on stage and like, we were like an hour. I had already sound checked.

And I was like, hey, I'm going to go for one more run. Famous last words. Yeah, I'll never say that again. Anytime I'm skiing now and somebody says, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're done. Yeah, we got out of it without an injury. That's it. Yeah, if you say that, I'm by bowl. already done my last run.

Yeah. I always try to hit those jumps when I do hit my last run. I'm like, what am I being the most dangerous when I'm the most tired? Yeah, and when you've made it, you made it through the whole day safely and it's like, hmm, now let's just eat shit. But part of it also is like if I do get injured, I didn't waste a day. Yeah. And you end up having a yard sale, you know, on the green on the way home and you just shits everywhere

and some old lady's stopping and saying, you're all right? You're like, lady, do I look okay right now? My bone is sticking out of my body. You ever ski blown out? You ever ski on Coke? No. That's like, I've done mushrooms, skied on acid, weed, obviously, and drunk.

I'm the worst drunk. Yeah. Drunk would be difficult, I feel like. First, it's like, okay, I'm feeling good. And then like a couple beers later, at altitude too. Well, it's just like anything else with alcohol, right? There's that little window. Oh, what a window is.

Where it's all good, you know? And you just never can stop right there. I had a window yesterday from about hour two to three. I'm drinking with it, roasting all those pigs. And I was like, this is nice. And then hour four and five and five and a half was like, what am I? Night, guys, I'm done. You know, I really don't drink a lot.

I never really have been a big drinking. But, hell yeah, my favorite. Like I drink, just not beer. When I was in Switzerland, I really did. Yeah. We actually drank quite a bit over there. Nice. That's cool.

It was like, you know, it was just the boys. and we were doing a thing. Like every night you're going out to these nice restaurants, like trying to try the culture and the food. And like, then you're getting wine and kind of all the stuff. So, and you're not sleeping. You're just up all night because you can't, you know, you're on the other side of the rock.

It's hard to snowboard, too, when you're that tired. So one time I was trying. You ever take Adderall before you snowboard? No, I would. What am I going to do, clean the mountain? It's a good time. Really? Yeah.

Okay. It's like those two, of everything, that everybody, anybody that takes Adderall, if you're not writing songs or snowboarding, you're just not doing what it was made for. Okay, yeah. Adderall, what do you do? What's the most efficient way to get down the mountain?

No, you do, do you think about it. You're not talking to anybody while you're skiing. No. It's like you just got your headphones in. You're just jamming and you're fucking dialed. And like we, like, when we, you are, like we go, like we get up. We are the first people on the lift and we go all day.

And like, we go hard when we go. Just try to make the most of your time. And I'm always doing quick trips just like popping there and popping back, you know, like ski two and a half days back, two and a half days back. And not in Switzerland and Colorado. Yeah. And, you know, it's like sunrise. It's not sunrise, but, you know, it's morning time. All the runs are still groomed.

You're the first one down on you're on a 20-milly and you're just like, find me a better scenario on this planet. I'm going to try it. It's unreal, dude. Really? It's unreal. And you're just, I mean, you're invincible. You ever think of a song on an Adderall, on Addies, sorry, that's a better term, while you're skiing? Yeah, all the time.

Like, on the mountain? Yeah. Or something was like, oh, that could be something. Because, like, a lot of times, like, I was a swel. If I was on a horse or if I was on my foiler or whatever as a kid, like, and I was just hauling ass somewhere, like, I was singing so loud the whole time. It's like when I'm snowboarding, I'm singing so loud the whole time. Really? I'm listening to music.

Like, it may be. Singing along? Yeah, it may be, you know, I don't know, Kentucky Bluebird by Keith. Keith Whitley and I'm hauling ass down the mountain and I'm as loud as I can. Kentucky blooper, hard yourself today. I mean, loud, dude.

I'm ripping. You're on 20 milly. You're filling, dude. What's a starter amount? You're where you're supposed to be doing. What's like a rookie amount of millies? I think a 10's a nice... I gave my dad one one time.

He had never had one before. Did you tell him? He's never had a drink. He's never had a sip of coffee. He's never done a drug. Never smoked a cigarette. My dad's a fucking machine. and I never had a sip of coffee

I like gave him Adderall one time and I was like there was a 10 million I was like hey you should try this you know you skipped coffee and went to Adderall well I've drank coffee

for your dad yeah wow yeah but he was like he tried to tell me he never felt anything and I was like in life in his heart

I was like did you play golf would you shoot and he's like I shot even par and I'm like I think you were feeling it yeah yeah I think you felt it

on Adderall yeah Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's just not, my dad's so purited. Just no, and he's the craziest grinder, hustler, crazy work ethic, and it's just, yeah, it's pure, dude. I remember the first time you start to blow, and then you're like, I don't think I feel it.

And then your friend's like, you've been telling me about a lot of inventions. Yeah, hey, by the way, we've been doing it for 12 hours, okay? It's Thursday. Stop telling me, it's working, it's not. Yeah. What was I just going to say about the fucking slopes? Damn, I forgot. I lost it.

It doesn't matter, dude. It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters. I love, I love, there's other places I would like to, I would like to go. I thought that was awesome to go. I was like, do we went snow, even just to say, we went snowboarding in Switzerland. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, it was so.

It was so sick, dude. I wish I had, I've got it somewhere in the deep, deep dive of my phone. This video of me when we got there, I was so delirious. but it was just, I don't know, man, it was like it was the trip of a lifetime. Yeah, that's nice. And I just, I've been touring for so long, you know, in continental U.S., just, you know,

Thursday, Friday, Saturday for 12 years. Bro, take off the time. I haven't taken a ton of time to do anything like that. So it was cool to actually go do it. Yeah, you got to do more of it. I think I will. I mean, you're doing well. I just had a kid two weeks ago, so it's a good time to go to Japan.

Absentee dad. Get the fuck out. These are the years you'll never forget if you're not there to remember. Yeah, it's like, what does that kid look like? I don't know. I don't know. Something small, I think. Yeah, he's small last time I saw him.

Yeah. He's a little bit bigger now. He's like about. Yeah. He's so hot. Dad, you missed my whole life. It's like I was in Japan, bro. Snow's great over there.

Yeah, by the way, snow's great over there. How do you get, do you find, do you find, How do you find, well, allegedly, how did you find stuff when you're on the road? Got someone hooking it up? Stuff isn't stuff? Yeah. No stuff anymore. What?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you think about it, Ari. I mean, you get to a point in your career where people are paying, you know, they're hard-earned money to come. You may be the one concert they're going to see all year. Yeah. So it's like, if you're going to go out there all fucked up and looking like shit and sounding like shit. Oh, it affects your boy. Well, yeah, and just like, I mean, if you've done stuff to any degree for more than one time.

Yeah. After the show, though. Yeah. No, dude, you know what's crazy? I bet I'm in bed. I bet I'm in my bunk on my bus within 60 minutes of the show every night. Yeah. Which, we didn't know.

It wouldn't always like that. But, I mean, now it's like I want to feel so good on stage and rested and like put on, and like these. Especially you're doing big shows. with these people coming to see me and being like, man, it was, you know, why does he look like he hadn't slept? Yeah, I booth this Adderall to come to a fucking nice place, and that's a show he puts on. I've played on Adderall a couple times.

Yeah. It's pretty good. Yeah. You're like, I am. It's a lot, though. You're up there. You're like, whoa, dude. Like, you're a floor, dude.

And the whole band, like, every song you're playing is like twice as fast. Yeah, you're just like, more faster, you know? And everybody's like, what in the world going on? It's kind of like the same thing. Like every now and then you'll run into it on the road. You know, if you get sick, you know, you don't want to cancel. You can take a, you can get a steroid like in an IV and reduce inflammation. You can go from like not being able to talk to being able to like sing like you've never sang before.

I've never sang before. But it's terrible for your voice, but you get, if you, you've got a emergency situation where you can do it. And that's pretty similar to it. You, you're out there like, I mean, you're on drugs, literally. You're on prescription legalized drugs. You always hated when you get off stage and you're like, okay, you're on stage doing your shit for 90 minutes or so, I don't know, whatever. Yeah. And then you're like, back to the bus.

And then wherever like the opening band is or like tour managers, like, well, I've been drinking for 85 of your minutes. And you're like, you guys are already fucked up and then you have to catch up. Man, not back in the day yet. Yeah. Now, like, I think everybody is so professional. And I think a lot of that probably started when I started cleaning it up. Really? Yeah.

You're like, guys, let's get started. Why do you surround yourself with people who... Do you make a decision? Slowly? Yeah. Over a long period of time. Yeah. I mean, you just, you finally, like, you know, you're chasing these dreams, you know,

like with these little kid aspirations, you know, it's so, like, it's like this magical thing you think it is. And then you get it and you're like, well, you're like, well, you're. I don't want to be the guy who used to be doing it. Yeah. You know? And so the stuff has led a lot of people to be the guy that used to be doing it. My friend read a lot of document, not talking, biographies about bands. And he goes, as soon as you enter heroin into it is when it just, the career goes down.

I bet it's good for a little while. I bet it's great for a little while. It's good for a little while. Yeah. Nobody's like, man, mid. Yeah. Nobody has no bad reviews. The devil knows what you like and just got good taste.

That's a fucking country song. Yeah, I've thought about that often. That was good taste. But it's, I don't know, man. I've just, the older I get, the more I'm like, life's pretty dope, you know. It's pretty, pretty rowdy that we're here. Yeah. The real dope is life.

Yeah, and yes, it really is. Well done. You have arrived. But yeah, it's, I like, I'm like, old man about it now. I'm like, I really, I really enjoy being aware

and, like, mentally present and... No, it's cool to put on a great show. It's way more fulfilling. And when you don't put on a good show or when things aren't going well and you're all fucked up or hungover, whatever,

like, it just compounds, and you have a direct reason as to why it's not, you know? Yeah. I'll start slurring. Yeah. And, like, when I got married, too, you know, like...

I married, like, the greatest woman. God's ever made. She's the purest human being of all time. Man, so insulting to your mom. Yeah. Yeah, it is. She's going to watch this too. She watches everything I do. And she's probably going to still tell me she called me. Hey, Mom, I actually think you are the greatest.

His wife? Ari does think that. I don't know. I'm always amazing, dude. You're the man, lady. But I did. And so when I, you know, Hallie Ray is my wife's name. I'm like, you know, you can't be.

all fucked up all the time doing that, you know. Yeah. Yeah, you're a dad now, too. It just, you're just, uh, you're burying yourself before you ever even fucking start. Sure is fun though. Yeah. I mean, dude, look, I got plenty of it in. Yeah.

I got it all in. In, in this town. So, yeah. This is a, yeah. It's a party town. I know this town well. Yeah. I've only ever come here on like little, like, festivals and like.

The memories that go through my head when I drive through this. city. I'm just like, holy shit. I'm so grateful to still be here. The amount of drunk driving I've done here too with the people from here. You know what's wild, dude, is I never, because I never really drank much. Yeah. Adderall driving.

I never had to worry about drunk driving. Adderall driving is the safest driving in the world. It's the safest drive. Oh, dude, you're. Focused, ready. Yeah, you're good for the road. You're a positive impact on the road. Yeah.

Yeah. I found Molly driving is the best. You're the most courteous. You're like, sir, sir, I can see you're trying to merge. Please, please. I've been where you are at. Please, sir. You like Molly?

Dude. Is it, is there, do you take it often? No, but enough, a couple times a year. Do you will a couple times a year? Do you feel like it still hits the same? You're always chasing that fucking first time with any drug. Yeah, chasing the drug. You're always like that first time with any drug.

We're like, wow, you don't ever quite get back there. No, you don't. But man, Molly, I've had some... Yeah. You've done it. Yeah. Yeah. You just feel great.

Yeah, that's pretty good. It works. It works. Yeah. It does work. Yeah. It is some good bang for your buck. You know what's the worst when Molly doesn't hit?

And you're like, I can't believe it didn't hit. And now I'm not even in a good enough mood to overcome my bad feelings about it. I've never done it. I probably did it two or three times. Shane Gillis brought some to a house party once and it was Bunk Molly. I'm still mad at him. One time I did it on a Monday night and went to downtown Austin on Halloween. That's another country's on Molly on a Monday night.

Molly on a Monday night. Yeah. Yeah. I know her. Down Austin. But I was. It was Halloween on a Monday night. And we were thinking like it's going to be bumping on 6th Street. Yeah.

And we go on the Smalley to 6th Street and nobody's there. On Halloween? Our bar is empty. What? We had the best time. Ran it. Best time, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it was, it was, it was, that's, yeah, that's, it works every time. Just run the play. Yeah, you just have a blast. It works. Hey, can I just tell you, man, I'm so glad we're friends. And like, the craziest shit will happen on it, too. Like, I feel like, just the, the most improbable great shit happens on it.

Like, it just, life presents you fun stuff for your trip. I mean, dude, you could close your eyes at half court on Molly and throw the ball. straight up into the air and it would somehow go in the goal. Like it's just, I don't know why it's that a way, but. Snake Man will come up to you of like, you want to put, thanks. Yeah, snake man. Absolutely. But dude, I will say like a lot, like, a lot of those times that I was participating in some of those things,

a lot of those years, like, were so pivotal to like, it's like, you know, it's almost like the theory, like, if you shelter your kid too much, they're going to get out in the real world and just go fucking bonkers. Yeah. It's like, honestly, like, I would. which experiencing all that and like getting it out of my system was actually really a positive thing.

Yeah, and then you learn how to like relate to people. Then you learn how to do it just two or three times a year and manage it, you know. Mushrooms are always, that's the one thing. I'm like, that's the only drug I would ever recommend. I'd be like, yeah, I would do it. I would, if you enjoy, like, any kind of deep thinking or if you ask any of like the very human questions

of like, why is anything here, that whole rabbit hole, like, if you, that's a good place to go. I don't think, I mean, people that like, microdose them and stuff, I don't know how you'll do that. Instead of, like, go hog. Yeah, like, the only times we've ever done it, I've, like, gone all the way there.

I think it takes you where it wants to take you, too. Yeah. You have a little control. You can influence the environment a little bit. Explain that. Well, like, if you're around the right people, like, you don't want to be doing it with people that aren't doing it.

No. You know, and like that's just, you know, like, if you, if you're in the right environment and like, you know, you give yourself the best chance for it to be a positive experience. Yeah. You know. But I mean, like, how deep it gets you. It's almost like, I've taken like just a little and hits you hard. I've taken a lot where I'm like, I got okay on it. And it's like up to the mushroom.

Like, you don't really need this today. Yeah. Mushrooms are great, dude. So that, I'm saying like cap and a stem on a mountain skiing or snowboarding. I don't know how I would do with that. You're not flying, but your mind's definitely whatever. I couldn't even make a sandwich on those things. You have to take a little less than that for that.

It's been like an hour and a half to make a sandwich one time on that shit. Really? Yeah. It's just doing it at the bread. I think I like, I think I like took a nap and then came back to the sandwich, you know? I'm like, as far as still not made. Yeah, I can figure out to slice that bread. Okay, I need two pieces of bread.

Like, just, you know, it's a wild ride. I love that way you got a really. think and you're like you go it's that way you're high you get up to go the kitchen you're like what was they doing here I can figure this out I just think there there is a positive you know it's like there's drugs that are bad for you yeah and then you know like mushrooms that grow from the ground that I actually do think there is a benefit to like your critical thinking and like those kinds of tangible skills that you have yeah hopefully you have like I think that's To a certain extent, you know, I'm not saying you should eat them every day to increase your critical thinking skills, but

you know, one or two times in like an impression, in those impressionable years is, is, I think it was good for me. And when did you start taking them? How old is, I don't know, I was probably 19 or 20. Okay, okay. Young adult. Yeah, and also the cool thing is you're playing to a lot of people who are definitely on mushrooms. I wonder about that sometimes. I'm like, I wonder how many people have a little bullet in their pocket and they're just ripping bumps or some because you can always smell the weed yeah it's got to be some yeah like i have a song called stoned and like every night that we play that song all of a sudden it's just like you see the puff well yeah you can just smell it you're just like yeah wow it's you know it's

you know it's an anthem smells like the first time you smelt it it's like very distinct like it doesn't always smell like that but like if you're a festival when you smell it it's that's how it's it's very like i don't know it's like back when you used to buy like you know swag yeah you You know, and you would like, you buy a dying bag. Like that, when it smelled like that. Yeah. That's how it smells on stage, and I love that. Oh, that's great.

You're playing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, and you're like, dude, that's, it's so, like, it's music. It's live music. The crowd, it's Friday night. They're vibing and they're doing their thing. Like, you know, they worked all week.

They're here, and now, like, they're enjoying. And I'm like, yeah, all right, here we go. I'm probably. It's the best, like, there would be a song like that playing. You're in the audience. And then somebody, like, you see somebody, like, oh, hell yes. Yeah.

And it's just like the perfect timing, man, yeah. But nowadays, no telling what's in that joint. Hopefully at least weed. Yeah. Hopefully at least weed. I don't know, man. I feel like no one's laced in joints with more expensive stuff. Did you ever, what was, oh, they're called spliffs?

Yeah. Where you would mix tobacco? Tobacco. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. Everybody in Europe smokes weed that way in England. Really? They all do that.

And then I was in Scotland once at a festival, a comedy festival. And I rolled a joint and then I like we're all out in the bag. I passed one and somebody like smokes and start coughing. And he was like, was that a pure? And I was like. A pure? Just a joint. Yeah.

Right. Like a joint. Yeah. He goes, is that a, you gotta warn people. I'm like, bro, that's how everyone smokes joints where I'm from. Yeah. And they're like, who smokes it with tobacco in it? I'm like, blacks.

I didn't know that that was a, I didn't know that that was a British thing or a European thing. But it makes sense. Now that I like think about that. Because they all smoke their cigarettes anyway. I'm like, that gives me a very European vibe now that I've connected those dots. Yeah. You're talking about weed. Now you've got to like do something.

Yeah, I've got to get that vice. This is like my one vice right here. Yeah. That and Jesus. That and Jesus. Yeah. Love me some Jesus. I don't remember the last time I even saw somebody smoking a spliff.

Really? Yeah. Well, it also covers up the smell if you want to get away with it. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah. But. Didn't they just make some law in Texas

Like a weed pen? Like minimum six months in jail Why does anyone live here? Because they like the heat Can't get on porn sites I thought I ever would I like the real thing You can't get on

A couple of them You can get on a couple of them It's such a sad Google search To go Which porn sites can you still access While in Texas And then it gives you like I've never heard of this but all right

Tough look Tough ones That's a tough look maid comes in and medeine. You could just... You don't know. You should get a bumper sticker. You should sell bumper stickers that say that.

Do you have bumper stickers on your car? No. I don't know. I don't have anybody close to me that has their car covered in bumper stickers either, and I think that's a good thing. Yeah, it's probably society healing. I'm like...

You know, but you still see it, and I'm like, it's such a... We should do that documentary as well. What happened to bumper stickers? No, not what happened to bumper stickers. Who... Who are these people? Who are they?

Okay, I have a theory. We're going to prove it and disprove it. Who's the main primary demographic? The stereotype is Duck Dynasty type people. Old redneck. You think so? It's a stereotype. But I think the other stereotype is the fucking crystal women from like the bay, you know?

Like the coexist and the, yeah, yeah, all that shit. Gender's a construct. Just covered in bumper stupers. Yeah. I just want to study this psychology behind it because I'm like, are you, is your goal to influence and. Make people laugh. Or just, you know. If you're too, if you can read this, you're too close.

Yeah, like when you were walking outside to put it on your car, when you got that bumper sticker, like, are you ordering them online? Did you buy them at a store? What was your mindset when you were walking outside? You're like, I'm going to put this one. This is the first one. Gas station truck stop and you're just like, oh. Every year in your stocking at Christmas, you have a new bumper sticker.

A dumb fucking bumper sticker. You're like, I know what you'd like. Yeah. You got it. And some will be like, you know, I love my dog more than humans or, you know, just random shit and I'm like, why did you put that on your car? You see the 24.6 people or 26.4

whatever, the marathon people, which is listed, the mile. Me and marathons do not. I think any man who has run a marathon is a homosexual. Me and, which wouldn't be a bad thing. Yeah, yeah.

They're running two ass and away from their demons. A lot of them were chasing ass. Yeah, we have a friend who ran one. He ran a drunk. He ran it drunk. Did he finish it? Yeah, he did.

Is he still alive? I don't know. That was like my biggest fear. Is he still alive? It was like marrying somebody whose family did marathons. Oh, and then you've got to be into it, cheer him on. No way. No way.

No way. I love to, I love to work out and try to be as healthy as I can, all things considered. But, man, running 26 miles while I have an $80,000 truck in my driveway. Yeah. It seems dumb. It seems re-pig. It's like, I got this truck I buy, and I need to go 26 miles that way. I'm just going to fucking run.

Yeah. It's like I'll meet you there. Yeah. But then I'm going to get a ride back. Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. Why don't you run 13 miles out? Yeah.

How many people will run the marathon? Run 13 back. Yeah. How many people run the marathon home? Yeah, that's dumb. Why go out there to get a ride? Would be a little more incentivized to run the marathon, though, if the finish line was in my house.

26 mile loop 13 out 13 bad yeah if you're like hey you can get home in six hours on southwest you can get home in five hours running and you don't have to go through security I'd be like fucking I'm just wrong yeah that it was like two hours

but it's not it's always like in the middle of Boston you know you cross the finish line you're in the middle of a massive city traffic's everywhere yeah there's cones a lot of cones people cheating there's documentaries on that that's fun who are you cheating yourself you're not going to win But like how ballers that to like be in the marathon and get on a bus? Like back of the guy, the back in the day, like the Boston Marathon, New York Marathon, whatever it was, like got a taxi.

Yeah. Breaks the record. He's just celebrating. He's drinking beers with him in the bar after a fucking minute. It gets out and then just joins everybody fresh. Then like CCTV footage shows up and it's like him hailing this cab. Yeah. And then pretending to tie his shoe and they're just getting it with everybody.

Oh my God. And you know the cab driver's like, why are you dressed like? You should do that. Okay. You should, you should enter the Boston Marathon and just cheat your half. Yeah, let me try to get Bert to do another marathon. I'll fall behind, then I'll catch up. Get one of those solo helicopters.

I think you can order them on the internet and you assemble them at your house. Hold on and go? Yeah. It'll be inconspicuous. No marathons for me, I ain't doing it. Parker, you got any travel tips before we go? Just stay home.

Just stay home. That's pretty nice. Don't even do it. Yeah, just stay home. That's not bad. You know, a lot of tourists out there, a lot of robbers. Yeah. Pickpocketing, you know, I feel like anytime you're in another country, people are

always like, hey, be careful. I've never seen it. I've YouTube this, by the way. Well, that's the joy. You can't see it. And there's like guys that are like, I know how to pickpocket. And I'm like, you watch them do it. And you're like, how the fuck did that person not just see you give them a hug?

Yeah. Like if a random person walking down the street, I wear heavy starched jeans. If you can get my wallet out of these, you can fucking have it, you know, without me knowing. Yeah. Forcefully would be.

That's what a different country thing. America's not really good on pickpockets. We do a lot of great stuff. You go a lot of places, you know, a lot of places on this deal here. Yeah, there's pickpocket. Do people warn you about that when you go? Yeah, they're like, hey, watch out in Indonesia because.

During Brazil, everybody knew it, hostels. Every other person had their phone stolen of their pocket. Like you gotta get fanny fix. I don't know. But I went on my last night's there. I was getting some street meet and some homelessy guy pretty much was like buy me a skewer. And I was like, yeah, all right, whatever.

And then I'm like, and a Coke. I'm like, fuck, you're pushing it, but okay, fine. And then the people behind the counter pretty much are like, I'm trying to translate this from whatever, Portuguese. But they're like, leave the guy alone, stop fucking with our, you know, customers. And he just grabbed my pocket. He goes, I could have taken his phone. He left his phone in his pocket. He's so talented.

What's you doing on the street? I don't know. Getting phones. Pick pocket. Yeah. There's none of... That's my advice. That's my tip.

That's not bad. You're traveling. Watch out for this pickpocketers because it's apparently pretty big deal. Yeah. I was trapping your pocket. You got to strap it across your chest like all the kids are doing nowadays. One of those. Yeah.

I don't know what they're called, but maybe a marathon packet. You really wanted to put them in a little. like put it in a condom. Put it in a condom. Put it in a condom. No way. Use protection. Pick pocket condoms.

Yeah. If you hear the squeaking and whatever. They'll go anywhere in the world. Buddy, thanks for coming in. This is cool. That was absolutely insane, dude. I've been a fan of yours for a long time. Where are you from?

Some videos online. Yeah. What's the update on those? What's the update on those? They're still there. Like, does anybody ever give you shit any shit about it? Oh, yeah. Every four or five years, somebody knew we'll discover them.

Yeah. And be like, what the fuck? So I was in, I don't know, was that like 2006-ish when I saw them on early, early YouTube. Yeah. And we still quote those videos to this day. Like, my buddies from high, like when I told one of my very best buds from high school, I called him yesterday. and I'm like, hey, do you remember? The amazing racists.

Do you remember these videos? And he's like, yeah, and he's started, dude, like, I can't even say another sentence because he's just word for word quoting every video from top to bottom. Hell yeah. Every one of them. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going on his show tomorrow. And he's like, he's still alive? And I'm like, yes.

And then like he like started going to look like shooting in it. He's like, oh, dude, I see him all the time. He didn't realize that that was. Didn't make a connection. Dude, he had no idea that. that that was the same guy, which may be the best case scenario. Yeah, probably. Yeah, he was like, are you going to ask him about it?

And I was like, I'm not going to bring him up unless he does. I mean, I don't mind it. Dude, it's... It brought it 14-year-old boy's joy on another level. Dude, the... It was so ahead of its time. It was so ahead of its time, you would have been... That would go, like you said, every four or five years, I'm sure it does, but...

Yeah, some kid will be like, doesn't shut it off before his teacher gets it. It was great, dude. There was no stage. We were just fucking around. Well, this one. No, but like when you're in the gas station or when you're in the dry cleaner. So we talked to the guys,

we talked to the guy who owned the dry cleaner or the liquor store and was like, when is a black employee, can we do this? When is a black employee going to be here? I'll pay you 100 bucks. So like tell me, so then you go in there with like a cross with a clan outfit on.

I'd be like, I need a lighter really quickly. I fucked up. It's unbelievable. The guy had the gas pump. Yeah. And like those were not paid actors. They had no idea. Sometimes you would inadvertently, like, oh, we're going to go fuck with this guy.

And then someone else would see you, like, yo, no. And you're like, oh, I guess it's you know. But those people, they had no idea. Dude, we had it, yeah, we had an Amtrak worker screech on his, like, his brakes and, like, get out. We're just doing a setup scene of like, I'm crossing the tracks to the bad side of town. And he just grabbed me and, like, shove me up against a fence. And it was like, started trying to hit me. And then I had to be like, I'm Jewish.

I'm Jewish. It's a prank. It's not a thing. And did it ever go south too far south? Yeah. Oh, we got the window of the truck you rented to, to, like, I think it was like, the thing was like, I was lost looking for a KKK rally. Yeah.

And I was asking random black men on the street where, where, for directions, wearing my outfit. And some homeless guy took a, we had to get a pickup truck for it to, you know, fit in. And he took a bottle of all the bottles and chucked it right over. Somebody's head and cracked the windshield. But then we're like, do we get insurance on this? And they're like, yeah, I'm like. But like you see like all these kids nowadays, like they go into Walmarts and like Targets and that's how they get their content.

Like they just fuck with people. And people are like, I can't believe this generation does this. And I'm like, my boy was fucking on this shit. Before anybody could spot them. And if you think making the old lady walk out a target with a pair of AirPods, she thinks she just won that haven't been paid for and the alarm's going to go off, it's bad. Yeah. Way too.

Y'all are like y'all are fucking babies. I mean, this is, this guy started at the top. Yeah. They're fucking, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's unreal, dude. But yeah, I was like, he just couldn't believe. Yeah, when we had the idea, they were like, come to me, they're like, they called the comedy store, they're like, we want to do something.

And they had the title, the amazing racist. And then they had their ideas, they had them like, these are cool, well, these are pretty light. And they're like, well, that's about as much as we can give, like, no, dude, let's fucking go for it. Yeah. Yeah, not you want to like, Let's sell like dog to like Chinese restaurants.

No, it's over. It's over? No, I have thought about it. It's in Arlington National Cemetery. It's over. Yeah, it's buried. It's buried next to a hero. Yeah.

Yeah. That is, it's, I'm so glad that you asked about that. Because it's just. I thought it'd be from stand up or something. I love it. Because I got in so much trouble for that and people are always like, when they just like, do you regret it? I'm like, no, there are a new 14-year-old boys.

having a great day because of something might hit fucking 90 years ago and they're still you can still find them yeah they'll just just get ripped and then a YouTube eventually like no way

take that down someone else will put it up millions of views they're always on Reddit Reddit yeah nice Reddit is the Wild West yeah not for the thin skinned

no if you Google yourself on Reddit and find out your physical flaws no but some people have sent me some screenshots about some stuff about me on Reddit

and I'm just like Do you don't want to know what's what's very, very true, but also kind of fucked up? What? I love it. I'm like, I love that they're talking shit. That's nice. And it's about me. Like, they are spending their time on this planet just ripping me fucking down on the internet.

And I'm like, this is pretty fucking dope, dude. You know, like, you really did make it, dude. You imagine, like, I don't love Gilden shirts, you know, when you buy like. G-I-L-D-N? Yeah. They're like rough. fit that great but I mean I would never think of weighing in on a message board about how much I hate them you see Sebastian Man Scalco's thing about like how people leave

realp reviews on restaurants uh-uh and he's like Sebastian rules when I was fucking growing up we didn't fucking do it at you fucking salmon sucks never coming back yeah it's like it's like it's so funny but it's so true it's like I don't want to go there anymore you have people it's like music critics like you put a record out and somebody would be like you know leave an opinion on it you're just like carnation just don't play that's what you do for a living I couldn't even get through this. Yeah. Okay.

Unbelievable, dude. Yeah, it'd be nice if a critic like that, like a critique like that, started going, I was listening to, let's say it's a positive one. I was like, I was listening to whoever. Sierra Farrell, and I hate it so much. I had to turn on a Parker McCollum album, and I really liked it. Yeah. You know, like, this is a really stander.

This guy knows what he's talking about. Yeah, yeah. This is a really good critic. That'd be nice. Yeah. I'd be like, okay. Yeah, I'd like that critic. All right, buddy.

Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Appreciate you. All right, guys. That was the episode. I gotta be honest, probably one of the worst episodes we've ever done. That's right. It fit into this theme because it was scary bad.

What I not? I mean, give me something, dude. Give me something. I don't know, the trip wasn't that good. What'd you do? I don't know. I had to have a video, but it's not really there. God, the guy makes good music.

I gotta think it's the publicist. I gotta think it's a publicist. Mine said they told him again that we know. need like travel stuff. He just did not have anything. So the scary, just so you know, for October, for the month of October, the frightening season, today was scary bad.

What was last week? Somaliland, black people. And then next week, ooh, a real lot of gore and blood, a lot of gore and blood. And then Ari Maddie. Yeah, I think just Scandinavians in general are frightening. And then November is travel vloggers month. It's giving thanks to the travel gods. Because there's not much to be thankful for.

It's a gloomy day here in London town. It's time to give up this dream once again and support a new dream. That's right. The Yankees are out. But the Tottenham Hotspars are now in second to last place, courtesy of the Manchester United fucking cheat code. Why would Saudis

own a fucking football club? That's fucking bullshit. This is what you supported all you comics who did the Riyadh festival. Is that in Saudi Arabia? I actually don't know. I actually don't know. I just heard everybody got mad about it. I was actually, when I heard about it, it was O'Neill told me about it when I was in

when he came to visit me in Peru. Went to climb Machu Picchu. Which will be next week's or the weeks after episode. Today's episode is produced by your mom's house network edited by Alan Kauffey. And he was like telling me about it a little bit. And then I was like, actually, buddy, this sounds like gossip. I don't want to hear it.

And he goes, okay, fair. So I don't really know anything about it. But I have heard glimmers. And I'm just telling you, when you guys play the Riyadh Comedy Festival, if it is Saudi Arabia, I really actually don't know. You have supported the Man City crushing of our team. Tomlin would have had four champions. I can't even get into it. I can't even get into it.

I'm so mad, but don't worry about that. Because even though we have basically no points, we're still. going to be fine. Can I tell you the last thing? I'm in Tunisia right now. I recorded this before I left. I found one week empty and I haven't had a second country yet so I went to Tunisia. I looked for direct flights. I just look for direct flights in London and then I narrowed it down. I used AI. I said take out all the countries I've already been to. I've already got Uruguay as a new country. I've also been to Argentina this year, Brazil, France, America,

but I've been to those. Uruguay was the only new one. Two a year. So looking for direct flights. I was like, narrow that down. Under $1,000, under $1,000 round trip. Great. Now, organize it by total flight time.

Taiwan, out. By the time I got there anyway, they'd be part of China. Tunisia. Is it safe? Yes. Is it safe for Jews? I don't know.

Great. Let's go. Yeah, so I'm in Tunisia. Honestly, I've looked nothing. up. I asked Seal. I asked Small Brain American. I asked Charles World Traveler because he's a fucking big Africa guy. None of them have been there. Seal put me in touch with somebody who's been there once. I asked Roll of Potts. Hadn't been there. I was like, all right, give me a couple things to do. She said, rent a car. It was like, okay, I'll rent a car. Drive around fucking.

I have no idea. But I'm there now. I'll be back in like, let's say Monday when this comes out. Probably back Wednesday or Thursday. Who the fuck's been to Tunisia? I don't know anything about it. They have some cool, I think, Shooks, soap markets, and then like, is this Sahara Desert there? I don't even know what language they speak.

I'm doing no research because I'm a bad traveler. Anyway, until next week with either Ari Maddie or Ryan O'Neill, I'm Ari Shafir saying so long, and I really gotta start prepping the guests to do a better job when they don't know what the fuck this is. Parker, you're a great musician dude, but what the fuck? All right, bye.