You Be Trippin' - Philippines (sort of) w/ Jim Gaffigan | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

Follow Jim on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/jimgaffigan/ SPONSORS: -Go to http://SHEATH.com , use the promo code Ari to save 20% and step into the 21st century. Go to https://MUDWTR.com to get up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code TRIPPIN. On this episode of You Be Trippin, the king of international travel Jim Gaffigan talks about his trip to the Philippines and a ton of other countries. He and Ari discuss the breakfast buffets, the class system, and doing a prayer before a mall show in the land of short, friendly people. They also talk about Taiwan, Cuba, Poland, Colombia, South Africa, Vietnam, Russia, Portugal, Spain… a bunch of places really. Other topics include: the Museum of The History of Polish Jews in Warsaw, the apartheid in South Africa, a weird gun-powder game in Bogota, and toilets. Enjoy the trip! You Be Trippin' Ep. 52 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:35 - International Travel & Languages 00:06:56 - The Philippines & Taiwan 00:15:30 - Visited His Wife's Family & Food 00:19:12 - Doing Comedy in Other Countries & Cuba 00:26:26 - Vietnam & The Polish Museum in Warsaw 00:34:58 - Eastern Europe, Japanese Whiskey, & Toilets 00:38:08 - A Prayer Before a Mall Show & Historical Figures 00:43:13 - Authentic Food & Being White 00:47:11 - The Class System, Foreign Comedy Scenes, & Japanese Subway Pushers 00:50:18 - More Toilets & Food 00:51:58 - Friendly People & Temporary Cities 00:56:05 - Cities with Their Own Vibes & South Africa 00:59:27 - The Terezín Museum 01:02:31 - An Alpine Area & Fruits 01:07:57 - His Kids & Traveling Young 01:11:14 - More Traveling 01:17:39 - Where He Wants to Go 01:19:09 - Travel Tips, Scams, & Tour Guides Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It was just so fun. You met with your friend. You're like, let's just make calls Yeah, let's just see either people from the class or just like randos. Yeah. No, you know what my kids will do? Um, you know, and the younger ones, they'll take my phone or my wife's phone and on the family chat, they'll speak for us. And it's so funny. Not bad. So it's pretty funny. Not bad, not bad. So it's pretty funny. Is it them doing their impression of you?

No, it'll be kind of like just saying something random, like, why did you move this? And I'd be like, I didn't move that. And then I'd ask my wife, I'm like, I didn't move that. And she was like, that was Patrick. And I'm like, all right right I guess that is funny funny yeah hi everybody I'm trying to do announce her voice welcome to the you beB trip and podcast. It's a, I'm your host Ari. And every week I go someplace different with a guest who's been somewhere.

It's the only podcast just recommended by the Turkish hair transplant society of America. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah. We just got there. Yeah. Thanks. Jim Gaffigan, dude, you're in the, you're on my Mount Rushmore of traveling like comedians. Well, yeah, we just got there. There you go. Yeah, thanks. Jim Gaffigan, dude, you're on my Mount Rushmore of traveling comedians. Well, thank you. Maybe number one. You were gone before anybody was gone.

I effectively did international shows and never made a living. Whereas I think Bill Burr and Gabriel Iglesias and now Segura, they all make good money. Whereas I really, I mean I was desired to make money but I was much more interested in cultural thing. And I love international cultures, but selfishly You know, I think it's good for writing. I mean, I think you and I have even talked about this. It's

that Perspective that you encounter in a different culture Even if you're in the UK, you're like, oh my gosh, I guess it is weird that Americans do this Yeah, it's kind kinda shows your own shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird where you're like, saying completely something else. We're like, oh, okay, I do it oddly different.

Why do I do it different? Yeah, and it's, and you really kind of are, you have to embrace the American identity. You know, the reality of that dog is that dog's like a comedian really kind of needy. Really? It's like, come on, why, why right when we started? You have to embrace. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

it was always cool. I was singing and then you started selling tickets internationally too, which is, yeah. I mean, it was always cool. I was seeing you and then you started selling tickets internationally too, which is, yeah. I mean, but nothing like, you know, again, you know, uh, Burr in London can really sell some tickets or, but you know, I was kind of, and I think we would cross pass or I'd see you be going to your foot past. And, uh, I was just in Budapest. And I was also, like some of it is I would be with my family. Different kind of trip. So like justifying, so the cost imbalance.

Like if you're a one person band, you could make living. But if you're traveling with five kids, you're bleeding money. Yeah, I won't even bring an opener out there. Yeah. I'd be like, no way. Also it's a chance to be alone, which is nice. But you got, I mean, you got, you're Irish, money. Yeah, I won't even bring an opener out there. Yeah. I'd be like, no way. Yeah. Also, it's a chance to be alone, which is nice, but you got, I mean, you got, you're

Irish, so. Yeah. Yeah, you got a family. It's, you know, and I'm not, I don't like groups, but I've got a family, but that's all right. Tax deductible though. You make that whole trip tax deductible. It's all good.

I was talking to Morrissey about it last week, and we were just talking about it. I was just like, it's really afforded us a way to see everything. Oh, absolutely. They cover the flights, they tell you where to stay, and then you go ahead from there. And your jet lag, half the time your jet lag, so you wander around the city,

and you kind of, and it forces you, at least for me. It forces me to Do some research I've often You know, I'll do because when I did the pale tourists where I did shows Like on Canada I did Spain I did Asia and then I did one on Florida just because Florida's so unique. What do you mean one on them?

I did like these little chunks. So like I did 35 minutes on Florida, 30 minutes on China, not China, Asia. Whoa. And then. In those places or just back home? Whoa. And so, yeah, it was really,

but that self assignment that some of that was prompted because my boys were, uh, learning Mandarin. So we went over to China a couple of times. Yeah. I mean, that might be the most usable language, but no one takes that. It's, you know, there's- What? There's the, see, like, you and I are probably of the same age, so like, when, or maybe I'm older. It's right close, yeah.

But, like, when I was a kid, the language everyone took was either Russian or Japanese. What? Yeah. No, we just have French or Spanish. Oh, yeah, no, we just have French or Spanish. Oh yeah, no, well just French or Spanish, but like if you were like, if you were gonna learn the language

that we needed for business in the 80s, it was Japanese. And if you needed to know the language for, you know, World War III, it was Russia. It was Cold War. And so I didn't do either of them, but there were kids that did do that. I do remember that period, we were like,

listen, it could go two different ways. We should just learn some Russian so we could be of service to maybe our new overlords. Yes, and it's like Red Dawn, that movie, it's like, look, they might come over and take, you know. And so whereas like in the aughts or the 2000s, everyone's like, we gotta learn Arabic. You know what I mean?

Oh yeah, they were gonna like, help breed us. And now it's like, now it's like, their Mandarin is going to be the biggest, you know, the Chinese are gonna have the biggest economy eventually. Yeah, yeah. But. But but where we going today Philippines all right I think we go to the Philippines now I've only been to the Philippines once okay that's fine I think the Philippines is so interesting because jealous right away

that you've been there yeah I mean it's it's beautiful. It's got a lot of different, I think it's like a hundred islands. Yeah, look at it. I mean like where do you even know where to go? It's also, I mean the Filipinos are really interesting in that they're the only country in Asia that's really into basketball. They're really, uh, they were a Spanish colony. They're really attached to their Spanish identity. Um, they also are speak Spanish or is Tagalog like a, like a mixture. You know, this is where I'm pretty ignorant,

but that's what also is great about an international show is like, you don't have to be an expert. Oh dude, this is like the ignorance podcast. You just have to be curious. Yeah, people like you're wrong about that. Like, I was there for four days. I don't know. You just have to be curious.

Also, the Philippines, very Catholic and similar to Ireland, their big export is their people. So you go, you know, obviously there's a lot of Filipinos in America, there's a lot of Filipinos in Canada, there's a lot of Filipinos in Australia, there's a lot of Filipinos throughout the Middle East. Like literally people go. So there is that element, but I think it's, so it's a part of Asia that was

colonial, it's Catholic. They're very different from the other Asian cultures in that what they're interested in. They're also Southeast Asian. So the women are beautiful. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What's the range on Filipino women?

There's always the range that nobody talks about. Oh, like Persians are so pretty. I'm like, eh, keep looking. No, yeah, no, well there is something. I mean, that's like, there is something about, like the first time you go to Sweden, you're like, oh my gosh, Sweden, it's gonna be unbelievable. But they're not all beautiful Swedes, you know?

Right. But, and it's also the Philippines there's you know pretty severe poverty. Oh really? So yeah it's very much kind of you go to a resort or you stay in an ice hotel like they it's kind of and so when you would do a show like I only did one show in Manila and in Manila damn That was the place everyone was like get in get out as fast as possible well, that's what but I mean, I think that the Filipinos are so nice and they're and similar to the Japanese I think they have an

Affection for American culture, but what I thought was so interesting So it's like I did a show, now it just sounds like the Trout, you should just call this the Travel Brag Podcast. And so. That's what it comes down to a lot too. You wanna tell me about stuff and like, you think you're better than me?

I'm like, no, I'm just excited. No, but like I did, like have you done a show in Taiwan? They're, there's, I love the cultural elements, so before you do a show, and the both times I did shows in Taiwan, I love the cultural elements. So before you do a show, and both times I did shows in Taiwan, they would do a ceremony for the ancestors where they would put food out.

Do you know about this? No. Yeah, so like in Taiwan, there is this ceremony for ancestors and before the show they're like, and it's all very, you know, it's not like, oh, crazy person. It has an attachment to, you know, it's kind of an old cultural phenomenon,

but it's present, it's kind of a form of good luck and respect. Wait, is it like, before JFL, were's kind of a form of good luck and respect. What is it like before JFL with like, just so you know, this hidden R. No, it's yeah. No, it's not like when you're in Australia, it's like, we'd still all this land. Yeah. No, it's, uh, like what a downer before show, bro. But there are native people in Taiwan that are, uh, that are uniquely different from the Han when the Chiang

Kai-shek came over. But yeah, so like in the Philippines, because it's a Catholic country and because as you know when you do these international shows, I love the international comedy community because they're all in it for the right reason. Being an English speaking comedian, whether it be in Paris or Athens, is not a logical thing. It's kind of like being a comedian in the 90s. It doesn't make sense.

There's nothing to get get so there's no competition Yes. Yeah, like in the Hong Kong scene. It was like we're all just like hey good callback. Yeah Wait, I know you did one. Yeah, and so they're like, yeah, you know, I teach English or but at the Philippines some of it is like I try to you know, do a little bit of What are you doing history in the culture. Okay. Guys. Ow. Oh, did I really just spit? Fuck nuts into my eye. You try to run a professional thing. Guys, it's a streaming wars. My special on Netflix and Jim Gaffigan special on Hulu. His is hilarious.

Mine is Netflix is a joke. Both really dumb things. Whichever guy came up with both of them, they're sticking with it. They're not backing off it. Hularious is sticking and Netflix is a Joke is sticking. Both are dumb. Both are really dumb. Which one are you gonna watch?

Well guess what, now you can watch both. My special America Sweetheart on Netflix and Jim Gaffigan's special The Skinny on Hulu. Yeah, we're both stand-up comics. I like to tell you guys about the guests every week. Jim Gaffigan is one of the best comics of all time and I don't say that lightly. You might take him for granted. You might take him lightly but you shouldn't. God, why eat a bunch of lightly salted almonds with sea salt right before you record a promo. This makes no sense.

Guys, I'm on the road. Yeah, that's right. I'm touring off my America Sweetheart. All new material. All new material. Yeah, this is a different hour completely if you're wondering. I'm going to be in Nashville, San Antonio, Tampa, Denver, Schomburg, Atlanta, Portland, San Jose, Orlando, Dania Beach, Seattle, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton,

and Anchorage. This is all right now until the beginning of April, and then Anchorage is June. That's my last gig until 2027 that you can come see me at. You can pay to see me at. Checking some time off. Go to rechefair.com right now for tickets. You can also get my Stay Positive shirt,

you can get my Fidelberg shirt, I only made 30 of the Fidelberg R.I.P. shirts. Yoni Fidelberg, true legend. Have you seen the special? If you haven't seen it, you gotta watch the video and you will not get that joke, but if you do, you will. Jim Gaffigan, all of his tour tickets are at jimgaffigan.com, he's gonna be in Durham,

Birmingham, New Orleans, Memphis, Albuquerque, Minneapolis, Lexington, Owensboro, Knoxville, Chattanooga. He's never home. Toledo, Columbus, Charlottesville, San Diego, Phoenix, Lincoln, Vancouver, April 4th and 5th. I'm gonna be there April 5th. Go see him April 4th, come see me April 5th.

I'll meet him at a way smaller place. Milwaukee, Cleveland, Greenville, North Charleston, Cincinnati, Las Vegas and Mashantucket. He's also doing all different material from the special. Guys, obviously if you haven't gotten there right now, depends when this drop is going in, we barely talk about the Philippines. I'm letting you know right now sometimes real travelers like Jim Gaffigan, they go all over the place. It's hard to lock him in. Sam Talent was the same way. His episode's coming soon about France. He's gonna do another one about Tokyo.

But it's like, I just wanna tell you about travel in general and it's all over the place. That's why this one was called the Philippines, sort of. Anyway, now that I told you that, let's get back to the episode. By the way, I also have a Patreon you can subscribe to. New episodes three times a month, patreon.com slash ubtrippin. and I got tons of new merch available on my

Website Ari Shaffir dot-com grinders vinyls I will sign the vinyls anytime you bring them to a live show just tell a door guy or staff member you have one And I will sign it. That's it. Let's get back to the Philippines sort of with Jim Gaffigan so it was unique in the Philippines because my wife has You know they have cousins and nephews that are Filipino. Okay. And so, and it's not kind of like distant cousins, like they're pretty close cousins.

And so we went and visited a family that, you know, was her cousin's uncle, who's a great guy. And so we had a traditional, you know, Filipino and learned all about the history of their family. Did they know you as Jim Gaffigan or they just knew you as her husband? I don't know. I think, I think a little bit are kind of, you know, I think there's a little bit of, you know, there's an upper class in the Philippines. These are upper class people. So they probably have a greater, they're more worldly. Do you know what I mean? So like, I think in the 1900s, this family, but like, of course, it's an amazing story where the great grandfather was, you know, like a brick layer and he just amassed a fortune. Right. So that's, you know, those stories are throughout the world, right?

Just keep going faster and totally like, and so, uh, so we did that. We, so we visited family, we did, and then we went to, and of course I should know all these names, we went to this beautiful resort that cost like a nickel and it was just unbelievable. Like the Filipinos love to eat, so like their breakfast buffet. What was it? Gosh, I can't even remember some of it. But like, the, but of course, all this stuff, I'm acquiring information, right? So they've got a pork there, huh?

Yes, they love, so look, all of Asia, they will do, and I did a joke on it in Asian American, because it was just the perspective in all these mini specials was as a dumb American in these countries. But yeah, that one, what is that one? I mean, it's mango, it's whatever this is. Yeah, that meat is like so incredible. But what the Asians do, they do everything is for breakfast. Whereas like people in Europe or the Middle East,

they're like, there are certain things for breakfast. Where in Asia, they're like, you can have ice cream, you can have hot dogs, whatever you want. So the breakfast buffet is like a Vegas buffet. Yeah, oh. And so there is, so some of it is, and they, you know, similar to like Columbia, like they have every fruit. Are they fat?

No, no, there's just, you know, when you, there is, you know, like, so I did like a small theater there and there is like some more security than you'd think. You're like, I don't know if I need security, it's just me. And they're like, no, you need security. There's crime? I wouldn't say crime.

It's just kind of some people begging. Oh. You know what I mean? So like, I've never done a show in India. I've heard that like India is amazing, but like I've heard that's what you encounter. It's not that anyone's rude or aggressive. It's just kind of like getting in the building.

I just got back from Cuba with Bobby Kelly. Wow. Yeah, and he was like, he saw a kid, and he started giving money, like buddy, it's a mistake. They're gonna swarm if you give any of them anything. Yeah, yeah, no. So it's, but like I thought the most interesting thing about the Philippines was before the show. So there's this community, right? And they, the Philippines, they obviously do it in

tag along or whatever. Now, it's their comics. Yeah, their comics, they perform in the native language, which I, you know, the name I'm confusing with the version of Girl Scout cookies that I like. Yeah. But, and they're all very nice. It's like, I mean, like doing a show in Moscow, that was so fun. And so.

When you do shows there, I try not to center on standup, but like, are you like, wow, this, this will not make sense here. Like are there jokes where you're like, would you like the idea of a gym in some third world countries? Like, oh, you're never going to understand this. I think that with the internet and also understanding that the audience that comes to these shows, you know, England, English has to be not a barrier. So either they worked in an English speaking country

or one of their parents were from there or they're an expat. Yeah, but certain things I was doing, I went through like Glasgow, UK and Amsterdam and I was doing this joke that just didn't work. I didn't understand why it didn't work. It was about acid, like in an Altoids tin, and somebody eventually was like,

hey, but we don't have Altoids here. They have no idea what you're talking about. I'm like, oh, that's just the setup. Oh. Oh, yeah. And then I changed it, and then the rest of Europe, it worked. Yeah, it's so crazy.

Yeah, that kind of shit. We were like. it's so crazy. Yeah, that kind of shit where you're like. It's so crazy. I think that there's different barriers in different countries. I feel like the UK, there is a different type of barrier for an American comedian that I don't encounter when I'm in,

you know, like Northern Europe or if I'm doing a one-off in some place like the Philippines. You know, it's like there's something about that relationship that, and some of it is maybe me projecting it on these people. Yeah, that could happen sometimes So it's like my whole like I understand the history. I know that the the notion of an ugly American is much more alive in British people's

thought or like the the Irish or the the the Londoner has a much stronger views on what happened in Iraq. Oh yeah in the Charles or something. You know what I mean? Yeah. Whereas like I think. Or in LA you'll have a female comic to a joke but like I'm so fat and I'm like this is only gonna work in LA.

Yeah. Anywhere else. You seem thin. And then, you know, I did a show in Mexico City and they were like so amazing, but like even our neighbor, Mexico, right? I didn't get a sense that I was being perceived as an American. I was being perceived as, um,

a curiosity. Oh, interesting. Which is better. You're like, like you can't blend in at all. Bobby was like, I was like, Bobby, you could pass as Cuban. You could, if you've got a little sun. Yeah. And so it was Cuba. Amazing. Yeah. From like, and so like amazing from cultural difference or amazing from cultural difference, you can see the effect of an embargo. I mean, you just see these beautiful, that's like a decrepit one. You just see like, oh, you took away their ability to make,

it was like, it was like GM moving out of Detroit. Was there a sense of, cause I feel like particularly with Cuba, there's two sides where there's the Florida Cubans that are like, they hate them. We got all the history. They hate them. They left thinking they'd be back in 10 days. Like, all right, we just got to group up. Let's get rid of him. We'll all be back. And then it just, it didn't happen. And so in Cuba,

what is their view on Castro? Or the Castro brothers? Okay, so we had a hurricane there. Power went out in the whole country. Castro said, hey, these are, the elder Castro said these power grids are woefully out of date. I don't know how long ago he died, but he said that before he died.

They haven't changed him. So the radio's on, we're listening to the radio, and they're saying how like, okay, no deaths, that was good, one pregnant woman and two old people rushed to the hospital. And then at the end, the guy's like translating for me, he goes, oh now here's the state run, they're saying this is all made possible

by the People's Republic and without them, we could not, so there's just constant like propaganda. But he's also at the same time, he goes, everyone's evacuated real orderly. Yeah, no, everyone's educated. Yeah, and they just go to like, come on, come on. I'm like, what if you don't go? Like, you have to, but also you want to.

You're in a place with no walls. Like, you wanna go to a gym. And then he was like, so what do you guys do? Like, well, we have people that just won't go. And they're like, isn't that dangerous? Like, yeah, that's the crazy thing about Frida. We just make fun of them when they die. But, man, it was just so fun.

Oh, so that's real, see, like that's the juice. The juice is like that different perspective on, but I see like, you know, I've never performed in Cuba, but like, the history of Cuba and... Yeah, we found out that he wasn't gonna necessarily go communist. He was just ultra left. And he was like, could've been,

and then when he had no ally real close, Khrushchev was like, I'll be your friend. And he goes, fine, these guys are fuckin' wild over there. And he, you know, like, so like there's the two views where he's a genius, he's an egomaniac, you know, and probably both things. But some things succeeded, some things. So yeah, so here's what I got.

Everyone who left, like they stole all their money, did whatever, but it's like if you have a home with like six different like units in it, it's like, listen, pick your money, did whatever, but it's like if you have a home with like six different units in it, it's like, listen, pick your one, but we're not having homelessness while there's five open units in your place. Which is like, okay, I get it, but also no way, you're not taking my shit.

But he goes, at the time, it was rampant illiteracy, and he goes, now no one doesn't read. Wow. But they didn't get a fair shake. They didn't get a real fair try at making that work They couldn't do trade with anybody really so I feel like There was always like people, you know, you could fly from Canada and you could go to from Spain Mm-hmm. And in some of it was it wasn't Castro always kind of inserting himself in Angola and

Nicaragua. And they don't talk, all those guys would kind of talk and meet up. But some of it is, I'm ignorant on some of this, so much of it. And then we were lied to in high school, we were propagandized, what we don't even know, on lots of things. Absolutely. In Vietnam they were like, they call it the American war. I'm like, no, the V Oh, right. It wouldn't be called that.

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than clean, delicious energy. Now go do what you know you wanna do. And I think that's what's also interesting is you look at, so like, I mean the Vietnamese, I've never performed in Vietnam. I, but. You been there? I haven't been there.

That's cool. And, but like, they don't, it doesn't appear to be this lingering grudge. That's the cube, I had one or two Cubans go, I don't blame you. Like out of the blue. That means you're definitely thinking about it. You had the Vietnamese, like we hate China.

You guys, that was shit in the past. So weird. And you know. Because you go in there like I'm so sorry. Even in Poland, like I did a show in Warsaw. And just, it's palpable some of that history. They're like, oh, I mean first of all, have you been to Warsaw?

Have you been to the Polish museum? No. Oh my God. As a Jew, you have to go. No, but the Polish Museum in, in Warsaw is this museum all about the history of Jewish people in Poland. Okay. So at the start of world war II, one in six Polish residents was Jewish. Whoa.

Now there's like maybe 200,000 out of 30 million. So you have to understand, obviously we're not talking about people all being killed, we're talking about people leaving. Running, yeah. And so, and Poland's this amorphous thing where, you know, the borders have kind of shifted so many times, right?

Yeah. But that Polish museum, unbelievable. Because there's Austria, Hungary, empire kind of stuff, but significant. What is it about? It's just about Jews there? It's just about how they would escape some pogroms in Russia and go there and they would escape, but like obviously. Imagine finally getting out and it was like,

who's a German? Yeah, and it's like also the, you know, the Poland is the blood fields, right? So it's in some ways fighting for the bread basket of Ukraine and, but it's like also that buffer that Russia always wanted because it is strategically like I know anything about military strategically an issue protecting themselves from Germany be because of course Napoleon invaded through Poland and and and Hitler so it's

like but the the Russians really fucked over the Polish. And by the way, Warsaw completely destroyed. So when the Germans left, they would just blow things up. Just to fuck it up? Just to be like, as at last, fuck you. And two things, one, when the Russians, so the Russians and the Polish liberation movement were allies, and the Polish were fighting the Nazis, and the Russians were on the other

side, and the Polish at one point said, hey, come on in, we need your help to fight the Germans, and the Russians were like, no, we're all right. So they waited for them to kind of exhaust each other. So then they could just move in. But I don't know how much of that's human beings at their best, right? Yeah, I mean, that's what when he split up Berlin, it was just like both sides like, oh, we want that.

And I was like, wait, I thought you guys were helping defeat the Nazis. Like, no, we didn't give a shit. So, but what, so, all right. So there's, but, but Poland, so at Warsaw, Russia right here, they literally rebuilt Warsaw based on photographs. Really? Because it was all destroyed and they recreated it based on photos. Wow.

And also I love a pierogi. And so, but Warsaw is, I'm surprised if you've done the Baltics you wouldn't do Warsaw on the way. Well I just did Eastern Europe for the first time, Romania and Slovenia. And I only wanna go there from now on. Wow. It's so fucking wild.

I mean, they're nuts. Yeah, no, I did a movie in Bulgaria. That's really interesting. Like a nice hotel, and they have a strip club in the basement. And you're like, what? Yeah. That's great.

But like some of it is hearing stories about Romania, but I think Romania's, I mean I haven't performed there, but I definitely want to go there. It's wild. And Slovenia too, I stopped and was like, hey how many of you guys remember before it was Slovenia? And it was like half the crowd was like, get me. And I'm like, what a new place.

Yeah. Yeah. They're just nuts. We left, we gotta get back to the Philippines. But we left where I performed in Slovenia. But Romania was so wild. That underground scene is all like, post-punk instead of like EDM.

I mean, isn't that so amazing how like northern Europe is into like metal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in Japan I heard Super Bluegrass. Wow. Yeah. Well, you know that Japan itself kept the American bourbon industry alive.

So during the 80s and 90s, there was this trend to wine coolers and vodka really took off. Absolute. But so these heritage brands of bourbon and whiskey, like maybe Scotch was the whiskey that people would drink. It was because the Japanese were drinking American bourbon that some of these great brands of bourbon survived. Wow.

Because they would like buy it up. Yeah, they would buy it up, they were into it. What were the poopers like in the Philippines? It was, yeah, it was not great. Okay. You know, like the resort, but I did a show in Beijing at an opera house. And so, capital city, you know, opera house,

obviously it's not, and they told me before you go to the venue, use the bathroom. And I go, why? And so like, they're like, there's no western bathroom. They know enough to warm people now. Yeah. And I'm like, that's really interesting because it was not, you know, this,

and again, maybe, I mean, this was also a while ago, maybe now they have, and I'm sure it was a smaller opera house, you know what I mean? It wasn't like, you have to understand, it's like, you know to understand it's like, you know, like I said before, I'm doing like 600 to maybe 800 tickets in a city of Beijing where it's, you know, a billion people. And so, but yeah, so the Philippines very much, like did, when I did the show it was in a mall, okay

took a van outside of But like they have kind of in Manila. They have these districts that are kind of Private so there's a mall say there's like a mall like, you know, that Wilshire Mall. It would be many more blocks, but there would be multiple entrances. And some of them would be people staying at the hotel, some would be wealthy people going to those malls. So you would go through security and then you'd be in this kind of... So it stopped beggars and stuff from going in? Yeah. Okay. So it was in... this one

was not as fancy as the mall where the nice hotel was and did this show. I mean when I got there, again I have all these connections to the Philippines because I'm Filipino. No, and so I have all these connections. So I'm meeting with, you know, a woman that I went to college with, you know, cousins, my wife's cousin's friend or nephew of their cousin, you know. And so before the show there's all these, you know, the comedy community is there. They're all very nice, enthusiastic people. It's like half the shows too, or comedians in the audience. Yes, and they love comedy. And what was really interesting is they're like, all right, would you

like to do, we typically start with a prayer before we, and I'm like, wow. And they're like, well, we know you're Catholic. And I'm like, yeah, okay. And so, and so I'm not even saying that it was a, this group was decidedly Catholic. It was, there was an element of faith, right? Okay. And it kind of crossed the spectrum. So like there was, you know, some of these,

there was like, you know, obviously there was some really wealthy Filipinos that were in the comedy scene. There were some very poor, there was some gay, there was some, you know, like 70 year old man that's on his fifth wife, you know, it's like, it was, it was like, it was, it was really eclectic, but there was kind of this cultural thing of now we're going to do the prayer.

And I'm like, it's that Catholic there that is like standard. It is, but it isn't some of it, you know, like if there's someone might say like, no, that was just that one guy that does that, that organized that serve as kind of a promoter. You know that like in some of these international things, it's just a comedian that is also producing shows. Right. That's a hard thing when you're trying to make a judgment

about a whole country. And it's like, first of all, like not just in that town. Yeah. And then it's like, that was just the one place. Yeah, right. That's just one restaurant. And so, um, uh, but I thought that was interesting. And then, uh, did the crowd join in? No, no, it was backstage. It was backstage, but, and you know, the Filipinos are just,

they're like every other Filipino you've met. They're very sweet and nice and, and you know, not super sensitive. Like I was more nervous about doing jokes about Russians in Russia. Yeah. Where I was like, cause there's, there's cultural things about, like I remember just,

cause when I was in Moscow, I, when I was around Red Square, there were similar to Elmo in Times Square or like Dora, there would be people dressed like Stalin, you know, all these historical figures. And I was like, Stalin? Really, you guys like Stalin? You know?

But some of it was a cultural thing. It was like, he was a strong leader. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, a little too Stalin? You know? And, but some of it was a cultural thing. It was like he was a strong leader. You know what I mean? Yeah, a little too strong though, right? You know, so Ivan the Terrible, they're like, he was a strong leader. And so, and you see that, and I would make fun of that. Yeah, Mao is still big in China.

Yeah, and so like even in Paris, like from a historical standpoint, and some of this is, you know, people might be like, oh, you're being a pussy, but like, like Caesar killed a lot of people. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Napoleon was like, in a lot of ways, a sociopath, right?

But like in France, they're like, he's our guy. He rules. You know what I mean? He's our guy. It's like's our guy it's like you know but you know cause you know personally responsible for the deaths of millions you know I mean nothing like you know Hitler but like but he's up there he's I mean at least in the running they they're killed at least 20 million. Yeah. I mean, yeah, God damn. So, um,

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But so like Manila did the show. Yeah. And then that was what was really interesting is when I do international shows Obviously if I'm with my family, it's different, but if I'm not with my family You know, I'm sure you're like me you want to go if you're gonna go for a meal with the producer afterwards You're like you want to go someplace that is authentic and not like, not an American restaurant. Just like where do you hang out? Like just go there.

You don't have to make it really nice. Just like where would you go on a, yeah. So we went to, and I think my show might have been on a Sunday night. And I was like, I don't want to go to like an American place. I don't want to go to anything, American place. I don't want to go to anything, you know, freaky or anything like that. And so he was like, got you, got you. And so he brought me to like this, we're driving, it's kind of like this restaurant off to

the side and they only, they serve like a fish dish. And I, you know, I'm not a big fish eater, but I didn't want to say that. And I'm not a big fish eater, but I didn't want to say that. And then it was interesting because it was this mom and pop restaurant. It was very cool. It was a very interesting experience. But it was what he would eat.

Yeah, why was it interesting? What do you mean? Well, it was interesting because it was very kind of, it was very kind of, it was very, you know, there's a difference between it being casual or it being informal and it being kind of, you know, almost a truck stop. So it was like, I'm from Indiana, so like I've eaten at truck stops. And it's like, you know, that the person that's the chef, like last week was in jail. You know what I mean? Cooking is like the job that we can put Gilbert back

there and no one has to look at him. And, uh, so, but it was, it was really interesting. But then there's also, but it was, it was really interesting. But then there's also, you know, it was, in a way it was, like there was part of me, it's like, oh, I probably should have gone, I should have said, oh, I wish we had done more of a weird, you know, in some of the, the, the, the sketch. Yeah, yeah, like you go to Chicago and they give you malorts and you're like, you guys drink this and like, no, none of us drink it.

We make tourists drink it because it's our thing. And some of it is, that's why I had that, that group of specials called the pale tourist is like, I do love being some of it is like, I look like a tourist. Yeah. I mean, that's gotta free you a little bit where you're not even trying to blend in. as a travel tourist is like, I do love being, some of it is like, I look like a tourist. Yeah, I mean, that's gotta free you a little bit. Where you're not even trying to blend in. No, well there's.

You're six foot what, one? Yeah. Like, super white. Yeah, no, like when I did a show in Taiwan, I had been in Asia with my family and then a college friend of mine who's from Taiwan family and then a college friend of mine who's from Taiwan. And she brought me to like this, it was like a converted mine that had become a mall that was pretty much only the Taiwanese would go to, right? Or the Taiwanese. And so walking around there, people were just like, what's going on?

And this is Taiwan. You know, they've seen white people, but like, they're like not in this area. Isn't that fun? I love it. Oh my God. You just like stop traffic just from your, like, it's just, I, you feel like Tom Cruise. Yeah, no, it's very, did you get that in Manila and the Philippines? I mean I would say that it's more of You gotta go rural. Yeah, you got and so some of it is I think with the Philippines there is a

class system so like among the a class system. So like among the, whereas like when I did a show in Bogota, I didn't feel like I needed security. You know what I mean? In Bogota? Yeah.

Damn, I'd expect it there. That was, but like that was like a rock club, but again, those are people coming to the show, it's like, do they speak English? Cause you know, I don't speak any Spanish. And, and are they, but like that was fun. I was all ready to do, um, uh, a South American tour. And, uh, that's when the pandemic hit. Yeah. I was in Bogota.

I think it's an untapped market, even for English speakers. Like it's the internet. So they're like being exposed to this stuff. Oh my, well, I feel like you have specials in the backlog where they're, if they're looking at special, like, have you done, I want to do India. And that's where I'm jealous of some of these these scenes there. Yeah. Yeah cuz they could just hop. Yeah they're like oh yeah I've done the me I've done Myanmar I'm like you've done Myanmar. They're like oh yeah it's very but they're

kind of in their 20s and kind of in a nomadic stage in their life. A friend from Hong Kong he was in the scene there and he went to Seoul to do a show Korea and he was like a very dry slow Stephen Wright style yeah and they went to Seoul to do a show, Korea, and he was like a very dry, slow, Steven Wright style. And they went to Seoul, but they just hadn't ever seen that. And so he performed, and then they go, he just changed the game. Really? Yeah, and he goes, no I didn't, I'm just Canadian.

I taped a special. What? Where? In Seoul. What? I mean, it wasn't, again, it was like, what? Two cameras. Okay. And but like, my Asian American special was shot in Seoul. So I did all these I hadn't even been to the Philippines at that point. But I had gone over to China and Japan, and maybe done Thailand. But I had done it a bunch. And so that's what prompted me

because I would go into these different areas. Like Japan, it's so fascinating, right? The different cultural nuances, like the cab where they're like, you know, we'll get the door. You know, it's not. Oh yeah, have you been there? No, I gotta get to Japan. That's high on the list. Oh my gosh, I always think're like, you know, we'll get the door. Oh really? Oh yeah, have you been there? No, I gotta get to Japan.

That's high on the list. Oh my gosh, I always think of Tokyo as the microcosm of cultural difference and it being fascinating. And there's also a side of, I've always been with my family. There's a side of Tokyo that I've heard is just crazy. Did you get the, um, the, um, sticked onto the subway?

No, no. I want to do that. So, but I want to go, but just the Japanese are just, and that's, I mean, I had this whole thing about toilets. Like the toilets are really good here and bad here. How do you do the, how do you do the poopers? How do you do the squat toilets? I haven't, I haven't done it. You've never done one. Well, I, maybe I have.

Cause I did when a long time ago, when I went to the first time I was exposed to it was in Istanbul. Exposed is the right term for that. And it was kind of insane, but I was always kind of in a position where I was staying at a nice hotel. Yeah.

So, but like if I was out on a tour or whatever, Istanbul is very fast. That's when it gets where you're like, no I'm fine, and then you're like, I'm walking around and then like, your's like it's time. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I mean when you're in Seoul, it's like I've never eaten so much like there's all these cultures are just Like people always think of like oh Americans we eat a lot I'm like there's a lot of cultures where they're just putting food away. So you're on vacation

So like you want to try everything. Yeah. I mean, it's almost sad now that you've lost weight, or you really can't do probably what you did before. No, it's all good, it's all good. And some of it is, the appetite suppression stuff, it wears off. So by the end of a week, or if we're heading

into Thanksgiving, if you want to have a good Thanksgiving meal you just Don't do this. Do it. Oh interesting. Yeah, interesting. That's how weed is Like three or four days you get the shittiest weed. It'll still do the trick dude. You gotta take a break or you're not gonna be high Let's get back to the Philippines Tell it to me more about it. All right. So what else about the Philippines? I think it's just that tall or short. Do you notice anything? I would say they were pretty short. Okay. Um, they were very friendly,

very friendly. That's interesting. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's cool. Yeah. That's what you want in a place. Yes. And, and so there is something about, um, you know, the, the, the warmer the client climate, the nicer they are. Right. Could be. And, and a better, uh, you know, a greater likelihood of understanding English. Also that Spanish, not Spanish, but like Latino, like good morning, good afternoon, evening thing. When they press everybody everybody to say good afternoon to every single person.

Yeah, there's a, there's a, they have that kind of idea there. And so like there's, yeah, there's, but there's, they're also kind of, I feel like they're kind of the underdogs of Asia. So they, they're on the outskirts. Yeah. I wanted to go there so bad. Did you just stay in Manila or did you go around? I went to, we went to Manila and then I think we went. Damn, look at these rooms. Oh, Boracay.

I think that we, the resort we stayed at was in Boracay. But that was, we had gone to Tokyo and then we had gone to the Philippines. And then I probably after that went and did Taiwan. And then I've done Hong Kong a bunch of times. You know, again, after the pandemic, as you know, damn, you just hung out there. It's like, you can't go to certain, you couldn't go to certain places for a while. And now is it,

it stand up illegal in China? I think they, I don't know. They stole all the clubs back. Yeah. They said, thank you. We learned everything we needed to from you. We will be running this now. Andy Curtain and Turner Sparks were just like, fuck, come on man, we did this whole thing. This was always the plan for us. Yeah.

It was cool to have gone. Yeah. I'm interested in these cities that are temporary. You know Yoshi? No, no. He went to Kabul during the occupation. are like temporary like, you know, Yoshi. No He went to Kabul during the occupation. Oh, yeah. No. Oh, yeah Yoshi. Yeah. Yeah that city doesn't exist anymore or like Germany occupied Paris, you know, that's a temporary time that city doesn't exist anymore You know the city is there but that that it's a different thing. I feel like Myanmar supposedly a little bit weird it's like a weird destination hearing from I've been there

the English speaking was there for a month was it interesting yeah this guy who brought me to Thailand was living there he was an architect comic but he was living there so he gave me a couple tips and then go from there but it's like army run yeah so it's usually, but it's like army run. Yeah. So it's usually fine, but there's certain places like you can't, no foreigners in this town, you can't sleep here, you just pass through.

And we're like, but we missed the last bus. They're like, well, you can't sleep here, so I don't know. I mean, it's so interesting, like just geopolitically, like then it just gets right into, you know, the chaos of Bangladesh. Have you been to Bangladesh? No, I haven't been anywhere there. Myanmar's as far as I'm aware.

It's also interesting where a border will be like poverty doing fine depending on, like Thailand made a real effort to embrace tourism. Right, their old king. And the history of Thailand is really interesting. Chiang Mai's great. Thailand also the only country that was never a colony. Of anybody?

Yeah. Really? What? The king was constantly in negotiation. I think there was a time when the French were thinking of taking it over, but they were kind of allies, so they didn't really have to deal with it. And I think, and as you said, they embraced tourism.

Wow. Now Afghanistan, you done the show there? Have you done Afghanistan? No, but this guy's asked me to go. This guy who runs a media corporation there, Saddam Hussein. He's like, no, I'm bringing you out, buddy. Like, you gotta see this place. But I haven't even, I've done Israel.

Iran is gorgeous, everything I've heard. Just gorgeous, except for like a couple towns. You've done Israel, that is gorgeous. Everything I've heard just gorgeous, except for like a couple of towns. She's done Israel. That's great. That's like, no, here's what Tokyo is to me. Tell me what other cities are like the where it's like there's bustling cities. Yangon is one of them, just a bustling big city, but there's certain cities are like, it's got its own vibe. New Orleans, Tokyo, Paris, maybe New York, but Chicago's also just like, it's cool, but it's just a city.

Yeah, I mean, I'm from the Midwest, so I have a different association with it. I feel like, I feel like Bangkok. Not that I've ever, but like, the amount of Buddha stuff there is, I remember my kids were like, how many Buddha statues? So my joke about Thailand is like, it's like the food is so amazing,

but how about one less peanut sauce and one more street sign? You know what I mean? Because it is, you know, culturally they have so many, so many layers of things, but there is an inefficiency to the bureaucracy, right? Yeah, it's so spread out, it's so hard to get around there. And then South Africa's really interesting, right?

Why? I mean, you, there's, the history is so young in some ways. So the Apartheid is a cross from the venue. Whoa. And it's So we're going to go in there and have somebody go, I'm in that picture. Yeah, no, it's like, so that you go in and then you go

through the apartheid experience and then at the end, they tell you if you're black or white. So it's like crazy shit. You know what I mean? Wait, is this a joke? No, wait what you get? Well because it is by chance what you're born, right? What and so there's certain you know, like you in Portland, Maine You can get you can get a there's a Titanic Museum when you have kids you do some of this stuff But they're apartheid except with me and Morris you what's the Heineken experience? Yeah Yeah, like this doesn't seem like that at all. No, there is like in South

Africa, there's. Wait, what do they tell you to do with that apartheid experience? They go through all of it and it's, it's so fascinating cause we lived through some of it, right? And there's, you remember it. It's still, it's still, they're still processing it. Right. But that was a couple of Christmases ago. So it's been a while. It's still, they're still processing it, right? But that was a couple Christmases ago,

so it's been a while. And then some of the cities are, you know, there's, you know, Cape Town is, like, and I think it feels kind of like Sydney, whereas Johannesburg is like a city. You know what I mean? Oh, interesting. What do you mean?

Wait. Well, like Johannesburg, it's like, that's where it can get dicey. You know, like, it's interesting to, like, some of the tours, you would go on a tour through the shanty towns. It's very interesting.

And so you're like, but some of it is like, I love history and I had my kids, so I wanted them to learn about this stuff. Medellin has that too, like you go up in the hills and see what it is, but they're like, get out before, you can stay for a little bit, but then you got to just start, take the tram back down. Like get out of here.

Like Prague outside of Prague, there's the Tarazan museum. Have you been there? I'm probably mispronouncing it. It is this Austria Hungary Empire built this fortress and So it was the guy who shot Prince Ferdinand started it all off Was was in a was in a jail there then in World War two it was where

the Germans established a camp. Oh yeah, it looks like that. But it was, so it was one of these camps, but it was done as a, where the media, they would be like, oh, the Jewish people are fine, look at this camp. Like the UN show off one? Yes. Wow. Yeah, the Jewish people are fine. Look at this camp. Like the UN show off one? Yes.

Wow. Yeah, this is a pretty one. And so they had, but they would show all these sinks, and but the sinks would have no water access. This is them. And so a lot of the famous Jewish people of Europe would be there. So like, they would be there. So like, they would be like,

where is the most famous violinist from Vienna? And they'd be like, oh no, they're fine, they're at Tarzan. And they, so they're, and so. Those two things, you'd be like, let them out. Yeah, or like, where is that Olympic boxer? I mean, that was the one where, you know, like some tour guides, you're like, holy cow, this tour guide's amazing. Right. But so after World War II,

the, uh, Chuck Isavakian government just used it as army bear. So like it wasn't even, uh, uh, you know, and of course there was, and I think around there, there was a German soldier was assassinated, but there was a lot of, there's an enormous amount of history, but I thought it was really interesting that it was when the Czech and Slovakia republics were established, the Velvet Revolution or whatever, or Velvet Divorce, that's when they really kind of discovered

that it was kind of this VIP German prison camp for the Jews that were famous. Yeah. And if they asked any of them like, yeah, I mean, they wouldn't have known about, but it wasn't, it wasn't good. Right. Do you know what I mean? So like at the end of the war, but it was, some of the stories are pretty amazing because some of the kids there would have art classes by a preeminent painter from Antwerp. You know what I mean? Oh wow. So that's pretty interesting. Yeah. What, um, what else should we talk about in the Philippines? Philippines? Yeah.

We've done not a great job of Philippines, but it's actually been really interesting. But I can tell Mike, we gotta give somebody, if somebody's about to go there, what would you tell them to do or to bring or to not bring or whatever? Well, I think I didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't have enough time. But there is, there's like an alpine area, kind of like a woodland, higher hills area in the Philippines that,

obviously the Philippines is very tropical, but like there is, I think a place that the wealthy in Manila go to this cooler climate mountainous area during the summer when it's super hot. Dahelion? Maybe. Maybe. Damn. I kind of even like mime it off. Do you ever go back to a place that you've gone to internationally and you're like,

Oh yeah, I've, I knew that, but I forgot about it. Yeah. So like you barely entered your mind. Yeah. So like the, you know, like in Hungary, there is a certain drink that they drink and um, I remember sampling it, but you know, I don't remember the name. So when I go back there, I'm like, oh yeah. Oh, that one. And that one, I have a joke on that, but I discovered it after I did my show. Yeah. So,

yeah, you get a lot of that, or you're like, what was that breakfast called? Like, I don't know. You would have had to ask me right then. I mean, Bogota, they have hot chocolate for breakfast. Oh, buddy. Sorry. The dog food.

Yeah, yeah. But, geez. How is the fruit and stuff there? Because it's tropical. Great, great. That's the number one thing I'll tell anybody whenever they're going, like pretty much from here to here, is just like stop at every fruit stand.

Well, I would say also in Bogota, the vegetables, so you know that like the potato is from, essentially from around Peru. No. And so they're in Bogota in Columbia, they have a soup that is like the recipe is got like five different potatoes in it. Okay.

And so the vegetables and the fruit in Colombia were insane. And it's. You know, again, I didn't even do a dent on it, but there's this fruit in Colombia called manamana and it's like a gigantic watermelon. And you. And there's. But you know, like in Asia, there's that really stinky fruit.

Yeah. Do during, yeah, yeah. They have signs on the hotel rooms, like no durians. I'm like, it's like, it's almost seems racist. It's well, it does smell like ass, uh, you know, and, but some people like stinky tofu, people love stinky tofu when you're at an outdoor market like in God or on a plane. Anytime they're in front of you, they'll bring out some shit like that, like kimchi. And you're like, the fuck are you doing? Yeah.

They can't smell it if you're eating it. This stuff, it looks like a gigantic watermelon. Interesting. Of course, the comments in the video will be like, these idiots, it's this, it's this. I think it's the upper right. This guy? Yeah.

But they get pretty big. Wow, where can I find these fruits? But yeah, I went to a fruit stand. And that's what's so weird. You think like, oh, from a Western perspective, you're like, oh, the kiwi is exotic. And you're like, the kiwi's nothing. Yeah, yeah.

And you also get a feeling of like, I know all the fruits. And you're like, you don't know any of the fruits. I did a show in Casablanca. Morocco? Yeah. Wow. And so like I remember staying in a hotel. And in the hotel, I think this was in Marrakesh,

but like the back of the hotel was an orange grove. And so I would be back there with my kids and you just, the most perfect oranges. Maybe I was there the one week that they were perfect, but it was unbelievable. Marrakesh, just crazy, crazy. Like walking through the city, someone's holding a snake, someone's got like gigantic spiders. You're like, what are we doing? You know how like in Times Square you'll see someone wearing a snake? They're the like, there's a guy with like a monkey

that you can hold the monkey, you know what I mean? Is it like touristy or is it just like, no this is what we've been doing? It's very much, this is what we've been doing for thousands of years. You know like when you're- That's right, like about New York and I assume Tokyo. We're like, hey we're just gonna keep,

they're not here for you. If you guys left, we'd keep doing this. And so like, and that's also like, if you, you know, in Jerusalem, you're like, oh, this has been going on for a long time. Yeah. It makes you realize, oh, that stuff in Rome is new. Right. Wow. Yeah. I've never, I was supposed to do a show in Cairo and it got canceled but like for what they just stand up and No, I mean why did it get canceled? I think it got canceled because my kids You know, it was a Thanksgiving thing where I was gonna do I was gonna do Cairo and maybe Some other city and then the family was gonna meet me in Dubai or

something like that and then there was like one of the kids wouldn't have been able to go so then I had to scrap the whole thing. Do they expect to go now when they see your tour? They'll be like especially like Alaska on a tour they're like obviously we're coming. Well if it's now they're older it's so much more complicated you know I mean. Do they appreciate how many places they've been? I mean yeah maybe maybe but I that was the other thing is that I'm convinced that being exposed to it, like going to Europe when I was like 10 or 11. From Indiana?

From Illinois at that point, but like pivotal point. What brought you there? My parents did, you know, my grandmother died, my parents, you know, inherited some money and so it was like 1976. And I'm 10 and we all go to Europe and we did, you know, seven or eight countries and it changed my life. Changed my life. Seeing, you know, culturally, you know, being in Rhodes,

you know, or in Italy, the first exposure to like, now I only drink sparkling water, but that was the first time I tried out water and it was sparkling. I'm like, oh, what is this? Do you know what I mean? Wait, when you say change your life, let me explain.

I think the perspective on different cultures and just an openness to like, oh people are just doing things differently. It's not necessarily, it's not weird, it's fascinating. So like even when, when we went to Copenhagen and I've told this story before but we were in Tivoli Gardens and I was following my parents which were these blonde people in Cardigans and so I'm following them, I'm eating this hot dog that has fried onions on it and it was delicious,

I'm obsessed with this hot dog, and then my parents turn around and they're not my parents. And I look around and it's all blonde people. With cardigans. You can tell they zoom out and like, oh fuck. And so, and of course I'm exaggerating, but those kind of things where I was like this is fascinating like we're just

So the travel the the different cultural things. So that's why I would do these international shows You know like doing a show in What's the craziest one you've been to or like? Among the crazy being Bobby Kelly went to a festival in Copenhagen and we're eating and we see a stroller just on its own. Oh yeah. Just, and we're like looking at it. We're like, where the fuck? Yeah. And then we asked the guy, it was like, Hey, there's like a baby. Yeah. And then he goes, yeah, I don't know.

It's somebody's like, yeah, but there was someone in the store. There was like, leave the baby outside. So it doesn't make any sense. There was a big thing in New York, because I think a woman got in trouble. She was Danish, and she did that, this probably in the 90s. It's just like, who would steal a baby?

Like, oh, we live in a different place than you. So many people would steal a baby. We got her, we have all these locals, we're like, don't leave it out. Like, they'll just grab it. Don't even tie it up nearby you. They'll grab it and I'm like, what't leave it out. Like, they'll just grab it. Don't even tie it up nearby you, they'll grab it. I'm like, what?

They're just gonna grab dogs? Yeah. I'm trying to think the weirdest place, I mean, I don't know, because I think the weirdest. When they're like, okay, we got a gig in wherever in Mongolia, Burba, Toghno. No, no, so like, by the way, you know, Andy Curtin, there is like a show there. There is, yeah, Rhodes has been there. No, no. Did you go? By the way, Andy Curtin, there is a show there.

There is. Yeah, Rhodes has been there. Tom Rhodes has been there, right? You know Andy? Did he bring you there? Yeah, yeah. Andy brought me to Moscow. Wow.

Yeah. So if they had said, hey, we got a gig for you there, are you immediately like, ooh, how can I make this work with my schedule? Or? I wanted, yeah, some of it is the balancing act of how do I rationalize it and how do I, does it work with my family?

You know, so like, I'm trying to think of like, maybe it's Oman or something like that, you know, where it's just, it would just be fascinating, right? I mean, there's some Central Asian countries that would be really fascinating. All these are really, I go to Tajikistan and like, I'm sure some of them are like super safe,

but some of them are like, no way can you go there. And I don't know the difference. I mean, the Armenians as a culture are so fascinating, I'd love to go to our main. There must be, from what I know about them, no dents in any cars there. Really? It's like, it's always one that I like. I can knock that out for you for 50 bucks. I'm like, all right. No, like the, uh, but like Kazakhstan or Mongolia, it's, you know, and also all the people in China live here, right? I've never been to. Is this Armenia? Oh, there's, you know, and also all the people in China live here, right? I've never been to Nepal.

Is this Armenia? Oh, there's Armenia. You've never been to, yeah, what's all this where there's not even cities on the map? What is all that? Yeah. Are we just not aware of them, or is it just like wasteland?

I don't know, I have no idea. And we know there's all mountains here, right, so. Yeah. Where do you want? But like there's all mountains here, right? So, yeah. Where do you want? But like there's, I think Andy, people go and do, there's cities with like 20 million people. That's what they said at, when we did a show in Suzhou, near Shanghai, and they're like, nah, it's like a sleepy, they know that like the sleepy neighbor of Shanghai

is only like 10 million people here. It was like crazy, and they feel like that. And so did it only like 10 million people here. It was like crazy and they feel like that. It felt sleepy. It did. Yeah, but I'm like this is a top three city in America. Yeah. So crazy. Yeah, it's weird because you want to escape

some of the touristy stuff, but you also, well at least I like some of the comfort of the touristy stuff. It's a balance, huh? Yeah. It's a real balance because you're like, I want it set up but only for me. Yeah. Yeah, I want to be able to You know like when I was in Warsaw, I definitely want to get a pierogi, you know, but I also You know, it would be great if I could have an English version of the menu, you know, I mean Yeah, exactly or have someone to explain it. Have you done like like Bogota was great It would be great if I could have an English version of the menu. You know, I mean, yeah exactly

Or have someone to explain it. Have you done like like Bogota was great because I think I hired a tour guide So he really explained all this stuff like you you should go to Bogota like they have Their own so they throw these weights at and Explode things So they throw these weights at and explode things. It's so weird. I mean, it's. Who does that? In Colombia, they have like, you know, like there's unique sports in different cultures.

And so like there's in the Medellin, you know, they have the Arapas that are in Bogota, which are different from the ones that are in Medellín and supposedly Medellín is like unbelievable So yeah, they have it's fun Spain to the like I want paella like in Barcelona. They're like we're Yeah, Madrid restaurant. I mean I I did a whole special on Spain and so and You know and I thought that Portugal was really interesting. Like

the contrast between the, you know, the Portuguese, they have this tradition of these sad songs. Do you know about that? Soledad. They had it everywhere. And so like in, it's, it goes back to the Portuguese travelers, the explorers, they were such a seafaring kind of people that people would be gone. So there was this romantic notion of all these. And so women will come into a restaurant

and sing in Portuguese these beautiful sad songs. And the contrast of that was Spain with the da da da da. And you're like, this is so weird. But like Spain is so, such a different, you know, the different cultures, every kind of, like Madrid versus Barcelona, or Valencia. And also neighborhood to neighborhood. If you tell what New York was and you're like,

oh bright lights everywhere, I'm like, oh that's not my neighborhood. Yes. That's a different, that's a part of telling you shouldn't be it. I just remembered your joke of when you get off the subway and you're like, why is it even walking so, oh no, I'm in Times Square.

Yeah, yeah. It's just like what a different vibe. Yeah. If you were a tourist you'd have no idea that that's not what New York is and Tokyo is totally like that depending Oh every neighborhood But it's just gigantic city Like it's like five different cities at least and that's so like and within those five different cities There's a hundred neighborhoods Wow

So where do you want to go? Where's like, like calling you for like a while? I mean, some of it is just the, the traveling, but I think these, you know, yeah, I mean, I would love to do South America. I, you know, I haven't, you know, uh, done, uh, you know, some of the, some of those, the native, done, you know, some of the, some of those, the native experiences of the historical stuff, like, I can't remember, in Peru, the, now I sound like I'm scum.

You gonna do ayahuasca? No, I've never done ayahuasca. Have you done that? I'm sure you have. Yeah, do you have any interest in it? Did you invent ayahuasca? Aruasca was the first sure you have any interest. Did you invent ayahuasca? Ari wasco was the first name we said it couldn't take off. It was a misspelling. Do you have any interest in something like that? You know, you know, I mean, I I'm not opposed to it if there was some certain safe scenario,

but I, and I'm sure that you're like, it's totally safe. I don't really, I've only done it once. I couldn't speak to everything. Did it make you become religious? No, but it like cleaned you out. You just, it just cleaned you out. Wow. Yeah, I'm not like, yeah. All the comedy fights, I'm just like not interested anymore.

So there's the ayahuasca and the cold plunge. I feel like those have a similar rise. Right? Yeah, right around kale also. All right, well, before we go, I usually ask people if they have any travel tips, either in general or if you go to a place, make sure to bring that.

Actually, anyone going to China, bring a little packet of tissue paper. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what... Some people say pack light. I would say the... I mean, you're unique with, you've been at places with your family quite a lot.

I don't know how you navigate that. I think some of it is... I think there's, don't be afraid to travel alone. I mean, I, I, do you know what I mean? Yeah. I think that that's, but then again, I come from an era of, this is before I was married, I would go to movies by myself. Do you know what I mean? Like I kind of, and the traveling, granted I'm doing a show and I'm also gonna contradict myself like a city like Paris

alone I Think that's weird. I Mean from my experience it was weird But like if you love history and cultures It's like I had a fine time and bogart I didn't go out and party, but like. Yeah, but if you liked history, you'd go to like Rome. You could do all this shit by yourself. Yeah. And then, you know what's so good being by yourself?

Where you're like, you're walking, and you're like, I'm getting a little hungry, I'm stopping here. There's no committee. Yes. And then if you sit down, you're like, actually I don't want to, get up and go. It's just so free.

Like when I was in Beijing, probably the third or fourth time, it's so funny. So Andy Curtin was doing those shows. Yeah, Andy rules. And I was like, you know, I was in this, I was walking around Tiananmen Square and these two women were like, oh you wanna go to, you should go to, I was like, do you know where I should eat around here?

And they're like, oh yeah, you should definitely go to this place, it's really good. And so, and then they ended up, it was like a scam. And Andy's like, I can't believe you fell for that scam. Well where's the fine warning, Andy? But like the funny thing is, is like, even that scam, it's like, what did it cost me, 50 bucks? Do you know what I mean?

I'm like, that's, so like two people in China ripped off, it's like what the Europeans have done to China for hundreds of years. That's like a little payback. There's a 48. Yeah, I mean, it's like, I don't really care. And I think when I was in Jerusalem some guy Got us me and my family to the front of a line at some

Holy place. Yeah, and and then he's like, all right now you need to give me 200 bucks and I'm like, I don't That doesn't bother me. I'm not looking to be ripped off. But You know, and maybe it's kind of You're not a backpacker. It's you know living in New York for like 40 years it's like New York is not as sketchy or scammy as it used to be. It used to be much more scammy you know I mean. Everyone's trying to get over on everybody. Yeah. Dude I was in Thailand I was in Bangkok our last day with my buddy and we're trying to get to the palace.

And some, we're like, fuck, where the fuck's the entrance? It's huge. And some guy's like, oh, I mean, it's a scam, but he's like, you're here for the, it's the holiday day. I'm like, ah, fuck. All right. And he goes, why don't you just go ask one of the Tuk Tuk drivers, like, show you some of the sites.

And we're like, I don't know. He goes, hey, hold on, hey, come here, show these guys. I mean, god damn, it was so obvious in hindsight. And then he sites and we're like, I don't know. It goes, Hey, hold on. Hey, come here. Show these guys. I mean, God damn it. It was so obvious in hindsight. Yeah. And then he takes us around and like, you know, charges for $8,000. Yeah. No, it was like 20 bucks and we saw like 10 temples. Yeah. Kind of worth it. Yeah. It wasn't a scam at all.

It was just like, it's like, God forbid someone makes a living. It's like, all right. And it's like, God forbid someone makes a living. It's like, oh. Yeah, that's like going somewhere and like, buddy, you look good. What are you from America? Come eat at this restaurant. You're like, I got a meal. Oh, that's fine. I do think it's weird when, I mean, some of it is like, I have often done tour guides

and the expectations are, you know, you can't expect, there's no kind of like the tour guide Academy. So like there's going to be people you're like, that actually didn't happen. You know, like, uh, you know, if you have a, a basic knowledge, you're like, like the tour guide, I had in Budapest was amazing, but like another tour guide, you're like, no, that didn't happen. I actually know a little bit about the history. I heard a thing on like NPR a long time ago on the radio,

and it was about how tour guides choose the history, and so these guys were working Graceland, and then somebody said, I think a new guy was working there, and somebody said something, he's like, huh? He's like, well, I didn't know that. He goes, yeah, I just made it up. But these people, unless they're a super nerd, now it's fact to them.

So you can just lie. Yeah, Elvis had on his toilet a solid gold, the thing that makes you flush, those are solid gold. Like, wow, I didn't know that. Just makes shit up. No, but like some of it is, it can be annoying if you really, like I do want to know some of the history and you know, like when I was in Vienna and I was like, oh, and I think

one time I had a really informed tour guide and another time I had a really mediocre one. I'm like, you know, I wanted to learn about the Holy Roman Empire, but their expertise was music. Oh, right. Or when they have like a routine that they're getting through, and you could see, because you're a performer, so you could tell like, ugh, that was so obvious.

Well, I also have kids, so they, there's usually, the tour guides are kid-focused. Oh, right. So they're like, do the tour guides are kid focused. So they're like, do you know why it rains? And you're like, oh my God. But I gotta get out of here, man. Yeah, buddy, that was great. Thank you very much.

I'll put a bumper in for this special, but. Thanks so much. But yeah, you're all over the road again now? Always traveling. Yeah. Always less international. I gotta do another international one. But the premier Hulu special, the rebirth of Hulu.

It's great. No, it's great. Solid choice making the first one. Oh, well thank you buddy. Appreciate it. I don't know, try lately. Yeah, Gaff again, thanks buddy. Thank you buddy, appreciate it.

Well guys, that was the episode. Like I told you, yeah, barely about the Philippines. Not, uh, we didn't really, whatever, you know, not everyone's a specific, every country, you know, Segura was the entirely actually know he talked about Vancouver a lot, not Vancouver, uh, um, New Zealand. I want to go to the Philippines legitimately badly. When I was in Myanmar, I, uh, I told somebody in my first hostel, the monkey hostel, it's closed now.

I met a guy and I was like, I've always wanted to take scuba diving but I never had any time. And he goes, how long you traveling for? This is my first week in Southeast Asia. I mean like two days in. I said, I've always wanted to go scuba diving. I've never had the time because you know What are you gonna take four days to take classes one in a vacation and goes how much time do you have here?

I'm like three to six months And he just goes so now What time I had that I was dating a chick I may be married actually I Got married. I was dating a chick. I had maybe married actually. I got married, I dated a chick for two weeks and I got married at the comedy store a long time ago. Divorced. People say, were you gonna null it? I'm like, I'm not gonna null it, we were married.

Why would I null it? Am I trying to be a king? Anyway, I remember we went on a date, it was like a anniversary date or something. I went to a Stinking Rose, a garlic restaurant on La Cienega, and it's an expensive restaurant. Not crazy, but at the time, crazy for me, for what I was earning.

And they had this melted garlic that I've been able to make in a cast iron. It just like slowly simmered down, and it's just like, you take this fresh bread, you just eat it, wow, it was so fucking good. That was an appetizer. And I told my, my chick, I was like, Hey, if I ever get the money in the time, I'm going to go there and just get that Banya Calda. I think it was called. And she goes, it's $5 and you do nothing all day till 8pm.

You can do that now. Fair, legitimately fair. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Yeah. I should have, I should have gone to the Philippines. I did end up taking scuba diving lessons. I did it in East Timor, got my 18 meters and then I immediately went to Bali and I got my, uh, I got my advanced, like right away. Been scuba diving in a bunch of places. Ecuador, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Man, I do like scuba diving.

Freak out every time. And I go, they're like, slow down, you're gonna breathe up all year. I'm like, oh, I know. Yeah, I've always wanted to go to the Philippines, but this guy told me about a place, gonna be off here, where's the Philippines? Cebu Island.

He said there's this great scuba dive, you can swim with whale sharks there. I gotta get back there. I heard about people just opening up their doors to be like, yeah, my place is a restaurant now. Come pay me and I'll cook you food. It's not a restaurant, but it's some lady who's like, yeah, I mean, give me 10 bucks, I'll give you food. It's not a restaurant but it's some lady who's like yeah I mean you know give me ten bucks I'll give you food. It seems really

interesting also the fact that they just said hey anyone caught with drugs I'm gonna hang you. I talked to my dry cleaner guy like six six years ago something like that and I was like what do you think of that he was Filipino he goes I love it we were losing our country to drugs we needed somebody hard to come in anyway that's the episode where do you guys want to go why don't you leave in the comments also as always leave in the comments on YouTube who you want to see in this podcast I get good ideas from you guys Sam Talon has been recorded I don't know how I'm gonna do next week I do know

this episode was produced by your mom's House Network. It was edited by Alan Caffe. I got a new, if you don't know what this is, Japanese yen. Che Durena came in and we did a Tokyo episode. But I have another, no not Tokyo actually, he just was in Tokyo for like a day. Did a Japan episode. I do have a Tokyo episode coming. Maybe I should do that next week that was recorded in Romania we should do a remote huh guys what do you think who's next week I don't know we've got one coming with a for Afghanistan first week of March got a lot of good ones coming maybe China we build to China with Hamilton Morris I don't know what next week is, I don't know.

I would like to tell you about my tour dates. I'm on the road now. Some of these gigs are with Adrian Apolucci, Nashville is, San Antonio's with Ari Mati, and then I got Tampa, Denver. That's a greatest hits week, so I'm gonna need you guys at some point to start leaving in the comments my favorite bits

That I've ever done less so much from America's sweetheart, but from all of them That'll be a fun week I'll take suggestions of the door to maybe write on pieces of paper and stuff Denver Schomburg Atlanta Portland San Jose Orlando Dania Beach and then in April we got Seattle at the more that's a big one Vancouver first show sold out we added a second show Calgary at Edmonton both of those first shows are sold out added second ones and then ending June 18th in Anchorage Alaska guys if you have a postcard you'd like to send to the patreon from somewhere in the world not from America please send it to you be

tripping 151 first Avenue number 49 New, New York, New York 1003. I also have to help me pay for this last special that I did not pay for with the Netflix money because they are making over $1 million a second and could not pay me my budget for my special. Buy yourself a Stay Positive shirt. Buy yourself a RIP Fidelberg shirt. I'm also gonna put on their Go For A Hike shirts. She'll be up soon. Pre-orders are right now which is

what we all should do. Anytime you get mad, angry, hope you guys got the message from America Sweetheart. Go outside, go for a hike, clear your head, leave the phone in the car. You don't need it. Get lost. Get lost. Don't go right before sunset. Go in the morning and get lost. Find your way. Bring enough water. That's it. That's all my advice. Um, agent will be with me on some of those gigs. Uh, column Tyrell will be with me in Denver, Jim Gaffigan's, all of his tour dates are at Jim Gaffigan.com during Birmingham, New Orleans,

Memphis, Albuquerque, Minneapolis, Lexington, Owensboro, Knoxville, Chattanooga, Toledo, Columbus, Charlotte, San Diego, Phoenix, Lincoln, Vancouver, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Greenville, North Charleston, Cincinnati, Las Vegas, and Mashantucket. You can also see a special on Hulu.com right now, the skinny. Both of us are doing an all new hour of material. It's not new. It's different than our specials. Yeah. I've been working on this hour for quite some time. Some of these bits are five, six, seven years old.

Don't worry about that. I'm actually having a lot of fun and that's it guys. Yeah please subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. Leave a comment for the algo and that's it. Also we have a Instagram page, UBTrippinPod. That's it patreon. Yeah, we're doing it all all right everybody until next week Palom Palom everybody that sounds wrong bye