You Be Trippin' - Scotland w/ Toby McMullen | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

SPONSORS: -Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/trippin, all lowercase On this episode of You Be Trippin, Toby McMullen bombs his first stand-up set while in Scotland where he skateboards, plays with Lord of the Rings figurines, and takes advice from a hot teacher. The two also discuss haggis, smoking spliffs, the drinking culture, and pasty women. Other topics include: his family lineage, Ari’s studio, UK TV, drinking every day, and hating France. Haste ye back and tlachd! You Be Trippin' Ep. 39 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions, and that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special.

Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. How's my hair looking? Your hair looks great. Luscious. You talking to the wrong guy. That's fair. Yeah. I'd say it looks full and rich.

Same as it ever does. Yeah. All right. Let's do it looks full and rich. It looks the same as it ever does. Yeah. All right, let's do it. OK, man. You ready? I think so. Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today. It's UB Trippin'. Yeah. Hello, everybody. Welcome to UB Trippin, the world's only travel book, podcast, and so forth. Today on the episode, we have a good friend of mine and a man who helped me build this studio and conceive it,

Toby McMullen. What up, dude? Welcome, Toby. Toby has been to a bunch of places himself, and today he's going to tell us about where we're going today. We're going to Scotland, baby. Going to Scotland, one of my favorite spots in the world. Nothing from Scotland here. I did have a charity shop. That's not true.

Nope that's from Spain. A bottle of Buckfest. We'll talk about that later. Why'd you go? When'd you go? Let's get into it. What'd you do? Okay so my family about it. My family is obsessed with the UK. Really? My parents love it growing up. It was always Masterpiece Theater in the house. I'd hear that theme song on PBS. I'd want to kill myself. Chicago, I thought you guys were all trash. North Carolina.

OK. Trashier, possibly, but yeah. Yeah. Different way. Less Polacky. Yeah, they're Anglophiles, my folks. So they've been obsessed. My dad's a historian.

He taught history, traced our lineage back. My family lineage is the Macmillan clan from Scotland. So we're the original settlers of Florida. No, really? One of, of Seminole County. So I'm like a Florida man from the original Florida men. By the way, I love this theory that's good It's gonna be looked at harder in the future. But like we're the original settlers of the Seminole

We were the first guys to steal the land yeah We really jumped in on it Okay, so. So they loved it. They're obsessed with it. And then in elementary school, we spent a few months living in a tiny town in Scotland called Thornhill.

A few months. A few months, yes. My family's always been big. Why a small town? Because my dad had this romantic image of the rolling hills of Scotland, and he would town. Cause my dad had like this romantic image of like the rolling hills of Scotland and he would write and I believe that was, I could spend a long time ago. I can't really remember. Um, but Thornhill suck shit, never go there. For sure. Avoid the fuck out of it. In the highlands. Where is it?

No, it's in the middle of nowhere. I'm not even sure where it is in terms of like on a map. Yeah. All I know is that they have one convenience store and that's it. And then a bunch of fields that smell like shit full of orange cows. Yeah. But I remember, uh, I, I did love living there as a kid though, or, or, or parts of it, mostly the most of an exciting. It was very exciting. I, you know, the, the most exciting thing was that Scotland cuisine is so perfect for a child because they eat like children. It's, it's, it's an obese country and it's

French fries with every meal. Yeah. I mean, one of their like staples is a macaroni pie. It's macaroni and cheese. It's so good. It's so good, dude. It's unbelievable. It's so good. I actually thought that was just one place that served them in Edinburgh on the Royal Mile. But that's a staple, you're saying. That's all over the country. Interesting. Yeah, Thornhill looks like it sucks.

When your main picture is just a fucking parking street. Yeah, dude. That's your, I mean, the nice hill's behind. But I mean, look at how dank this is. But we weren't even there. We were in the middle of the country. Just in the middle of nowhere, which it is beautiful. God, yeah.

But just as a kid, there's nothing to do. It just sucks balls. Yeah. I just watched a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and BattleBots. It's so funny that when parrots take you there, like you do this amazing thing, you're like, shut up, dad. I just wanna watch TV.

Yeah, yeah. They took me to castles. I couldn't give a fuck I was like where's the PlayStation you know yeah it was bad they weren't here so where the fuck is this okay where is this towards Edinburgh Newcastle Oh and burst and burst to the right it should be it's like I have no idea what the. Yeah, it's over there somewhere. Yeah. But then yes, so that. Okay.

So that was my first exposure and we traveled all over the country. It was cool. It was very eye-opening. And when I got back from that, I didn't appreciate it, I was too young. But then the second trip we took, we spent nine months in Aberdeen.

The Aberdeen I've heard of. Which is in the north of Scotland. Aberdeen. Yeah, this is in the south of Scotland. Yeah, so if Edinburgh is Scotland's New York and Glasgow is in Chicago. Glasgow is Chicago, yeah. Aberdeen is Pittsburgh.

So now, that's great. That's great. What'd you do there? So I didn't, it would have been my seventh grade year of middle school. Oh, North on the coast. Super North. It's an oil town. Aberdeen. Tons of, tons of offshore drilling and stuff.

Oh, past Dundee, which is a fucking stereotype joke. You have to drive through Dundee. Oh yeah. The Aberdunians, theyenians, their accent is even thicker and more obnoxious than in Edinburgh. It's. OK. Edinburgh is this accent on the back. It's Glasgow. Glasgow.

Yeah. That, you can't understand the fucking word they say, and it's a 45 minute ride. You can see it there. It's so close. It's a government town in Edinburgh. It's Glasgow's, like you said, Chicago. Chicago.

Chicago. Aberdeen. What the fuck's there? It's awesome. Really? It rules. So I would have been in seventh grade, but I didn't go to middle school. I talked my way out of going to middle school,

basically, in North Carolina. The school system was so shit, and I kind of just was like, I'm smarter than this. I'm not gonna learn anything in this school. I shouldn't have to go. And my parents were like, okay. Fair than this. I'm not going to learn anything in this school. I shouldn't have to go. And my parents were like, OK. Fair enough. You want PBS.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So I just spent all what would have been my middle school years just sleeping until noon, playing PlayStation, then going skateboarding. Ruled. But what would have been my seventh grade year, my dad did a joint PhD program.

I did a joint. A couple, two, three, I bet. Yeah. Between the University of North Carolina and the University of Aberdeen. Tar Heels? Yeah. I wanted to go there so fucking bad.

Yeah, but this was UNC Charlotte. Oh, fuck that. Yeah, different. Moving on, moving on. Yeah, dude. So. He's a professor? Yes, he had his thesis, dude. He's a professor? Yes.

He had his thesis, but got published as a book. And that's what he was working on in Aberdeen. Wow. So he found out that they had this exchange program between the University of North Carolina and the University of Aberdeen. He was the only guy who did it. Everyone else was like, why the fuck would I go to?

Why is that our sister school? What a dumbass sister school. Exactly. Can we be at Barcelona U? Yeah, dude. So he was fired up about it. So we spent nine months in Aberdeen. Which was incredible.

Wow, nine months. That's so long. That's long enough to really get to know a place. Yes. But as a kid, it was like- How old were you? I was 12, I turned 13 over there. Okay.

So I just remember like, So your bar mitzvah was in Aberdeen? Oh yes. Okay, nice. I would love to. By the way, every Scottish joke that I heard about cheap Scots or just Jew jokes repurposed. Oh yeah.

It was amazing. They were like, how does a Cooper, how was the, how was the Cooper wire invented? And I was like, how? Like I was like, I know this one. And they're like two Scots fighting over a Pence. And I was like, how? I was like, I know this one. And they're like, two Scots fighting over a Pence. And I'm like, I heard it slightly different. Yeah.

But that cheap Scottish shit is real, dude. It's why they don't have table service at their comedy shows. Why? Because it's all bar service. They have intermissions. No one's going to leave. They're too cheap. They paid five pounds to get into the show.

They're getting their five pounds worth of show out of it. So what do you mean? So like in America, if you were to do a two act showcase style comedy show, hella people would leave at the intermission. They would just be over it and bounce, right? Yeah. But there, they're like, I paid my five pounds.

I'm staying till it's over. I'm getting my fucking money. You did 10 intermissions, I'm not leaving. Wow, okay. What'd you do in Aberdeen? What's there to do? I watched a lot of bad TV, more BattleBots. Loved it, but mostly I,

luckily, I skated. So that's how I was able to make friends. There's a skate scene in Scotland? Yeah, and it's sick. Interesting. So I was like- make friends. There's a skate scene in Scotland? Yeah, and it's sick. Interesting. I love the things that unite, that are not nationality based. There's a skate park in Yangon and Rangoon,

that I was like, oh, Ollie's in Ollie. It doesn't matter. It's like math, man. It's international language. Were you better than them? Fuck no. Oh, okay. I was new to it. So I was learning.

I actually, that's where I got, that's where I learned how to kick flip and stuff was in Aberdeen. Because there they do it with a fucking knife in their hands. Yeah, yeah. It's like Luke Skywalker training with Yoda on his back. You take it off and it's easy as fuck. So that was my, I had two ways that I made friends.

And they were completely opposed to each other. The first was skateboarding. And then the other was I got really into Lord of the Rings figurines. You know what Games Workshop is? No, you fucking loser. Yeah, I know. No, I don't know what the fuck that is. Okay, so it's like- God is? No, you fucking loser. Yeah, I know. No, I don't know what the fuck that is.

Okay, so it's like- God, I want to punch you so bad. You should, it sucks shit. God, it's gonna be tough to go on with this. I know it's- God, it's so free. It gets so much worse, dude. Thank God for your hair.

I know, dude. I reformed after, I promise. So, there's a store called Games Workshop, and that's where all these kids would go to play this game called Warhammer, which is like, you painted figurines, there's like dice called Games Workshop, and that's where all these kids would go to play this game called Warhammer, which is like painted figurines, they're like dice. It's very similar to Dungeons and Dragons. It's lame as shit.

Okay, yeah, knockoff D&D. So I wasn't even playing that one. I was doing the Lord of the Rings version of that, which is like just the most virgin thing you could do. Yeah. Just so. I mean, you're 13 though, it's so cute. Which is like just the even the most virgin thing you could do. Yeah, just 13 though. It's so cute. Yeah, but I also remember being just so desperate to kiss a girl I hadn't kissed a girl yet and I should have been in middle school in America and instead I was like around these fat nerds in Scotland just so stinky so lame and

I just so stinky, so lame. And I would split my time between these two friend groups where I had these super dorks. And then these skater dudes. One of the... I mean, there's a scene in Can't Buy Me Love where he becomes cool. Do you know the movie? I don't.

He saves up all his money from lawn mowing. He's a nerd, he's in the nerd group. There's four the movie? I don't. He saves up all his money from like lawn mowing. He's a nerd. He's in the nerd group. There's four nerds, five nerds. And he saves all his money, pays the hottest girl who just broke up with like the football player. He goes, you date me for a week and I'll give you five grand. You don't have to do anything.

You just have to be and act like my girlfriend for a week. And I think it'll make me cool. And I did be like, who's this guy? And then he's cool. And then he's sitting at the lunch table and his friends are like, oh, come on over. And he's like, no. They had to be opposite.

Clowns were like, why are you looking at the nerds? He goes, no reason. And then he would leave them. Oh, he turned his back on his homies. Yeah, were you like that with the Warhammer bros and the fucking Skate bros? No, but I do remember, the thing I remember most distinctly about that because it's all it's so long ago it's all pretty fuzzy but I remember one of the kids in the Warhammer crew everyone called

him dick nose. I want to see him so bad. He had this massive nose, horrible acne, just the biggest pimples on this thing. And everyone, and it wasn't like mean, it wasn't like, ah, fucking dick nose over there. It was like- That's a good accent, bro. It was like, oh, what up, dick nose? Oh, really? Like it was Bill, you know? Whoa. Oh, rap, hi everybody.

Shoot, I didn't realize I was breaking in for the bumpers to tell you about my guest today, Toby McMullen. Not only is he a comedian who has a new 15 minute premiere special called Live from the Aladdin Theater on YouTube right now, he's also got a brand new podcast that just started called Dynamite Rocker Shop. I'm either on there this week or the following week. I'm also on Kill Tony this week, the greatest live podcast in the history podcast.

And a comedian is always trying to make you laugh, no matter what. And if you're there watching him, you will laugh. But if you're off somewhere else, looking for things to make you angry, well, he'll find that for you too. But Toby also helped me build this studio, you guys. He helped me build all this.

By the way, well, I'll just tell you, yeah, we came up, we sat here for months and months and became friends and thought up a bunch of ways You guys, you helped me build all this. By the way, well, I'll just tell you, we came up, we sat here for months and months and became friends and thought up a bunch of ways to make it a hangout. We had this idea for the white swaths, of middle-aged women in their 50s and 60s get where they fetishize other nations.

So I have a lot of these. Starting from the top, we got two lucha libre masks from Ciudad de Mexico, Diablo Uma, Ecuador, Andean, Guatemala, y Mexico del Norte, más, Lucha Libre, Bucos, y finalmente, Tobago, the island. Islanda? Damn, I don't know that.

For myself, I'll be doing my own tour the farewell tour guys my only tour until 2027 all I'm doing is turn off about four months, and then I'm taking time off the road So no more shows so you want to see me on this tour starts in Austin in December actually that's sold out already December 13th and 14th and then Tahoe, Nevada December 21st, and then to January we got Pittsburgh Providence Salt Lake City and Brea. Then in February Nashville, San Antonio, Tampa, Denver at the Comedy Works is gonna be a Greatest Hits Week. You're gonna write down your notes of stuff you want me to say bits and stuff. I'm having a good time. Then in March, Schomburg, Illinois and

then Atlanta at the Tabernacle March 15th. Get tickets right now for that Portland. I'm excited. Rogan recorded one of his specials with all the stars behind it, looked really good. San Jose, Orlando and Fort Lauderdale in March and then wrapping it up in April, big theater run. April 3rd, Seattle at the Moore Theater, Vancouver, April 4th, Calgary April 5th, Edmonton April 6th and then finishing it off June 18th,

Anchorage, Alaska. And then that's it for me. Get tickets at rechefere.com. Don't forget to subscribe wherever you're watching and listening to this podcast. I've almost got that 100,000 subscriber YouTube fucking plaque that I'll put up there somewhere. I'm not gonna, I'll put it over there where you can't see it. Maybe I'll put it up there. I'll redesign this place. Anyway, let's get back to the episode. Toby, take us to Scotland, a pale man for a pale place. But I was taking this art class where,

because my parents were like, you have to do something. You can't just sleep all day and then go skateboarding. You have to pretend that you're getting some sort of education out here. So I was taking this art class and the teacher was like young 20s. Can't put that up. Yeah. Oh my God. By the way, everybody says this was me. This went around for a while. Like, all right, that is you. Wow. Dude, is that your dad? Shut

up. This holy that. Wow. I mean, the resemblance is striking. His nose. His nose. I think Segura sent me a picture, sent me this. It was like, congratulations, National Geographic, bro. That's huge. Yeah, the nose is a little small on that, but it's close. Fuck you. All right, so yeah, go ahead.

So I was in this art class, and the teacher was so hot. And that's in Scotland, where the women just look. Let's talk about it. The pastiest? All right, so OK, there's so much. I'm going to have to figure this out for this podcast. I want to go off on a tangent now, but then get back to this story. Yes, yes, yes.

Let's get back to how ugly they are. Go ahead. Let's go on with your story. That's so gross. They're the pastiest. Let's get back to how ugly they are. Go ahead. Let's go on with your story. That's so gross. They're the pastiest. It's like this negative pink. If you invert pink on a computer, that's what they are. Yes.

Still somehow can be hot, some of them. Yes, without question. But I think some of it's golf course syndrome, where it's like you see a check on a golf course, and instantly, because there's no checks around, you're like, oh, look at this 42 year old mother of two. Like, whoa, you know? But in the real world, like, ugh.

They all look like they're made out of quickcrete. Like, they're just gray and craggy, just rough. Yeah. But then you'll see one and you're like, wow, that is, you are, you are gorgeous. And then they talk and you're like, wow. Shirley Manson. I don't know who that is.

From Garbage. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Leet Singer Garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, wow. Shirley Manson. I don't know who that is. From Garbage. Oh, OK. Leetsinger Garbage. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, what? How did you get out? Totally.

OK, go ahead. So tattoos, this art teacher. So cool. It just hit me, by the way. I'm only happy when it rains. Meant she was happy quite a lot. Oh, when it's Scotland? Yeah.

It just struck me now. She's one of the happiest people on Earth. Yeah, the weather in scotland horrific. Okay, yeah, seattle style. So yeah, um, but I was in this art class and she's like, what are you doing after this? And I was like, oh, well, I'm out. Oh, you're a kid. So yeah, okay. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not the stories in that cool. Yeah, this is the coolest story that's ever been told on your show.

I've never been a white before. I've only met clear. Yeah, dude. So she's like, what are you doing after this? And I was like, well, I'm either going to go play with these Lord of the Rings figures. I had them in my bag. I had like a box of them.

Right, yeah. Or I'm going to go skateboarding. And she was like, you should go skateboarding. And I was like, really? She was like, yeah, my boyfriend skates, that's cool. And that like clicked in my head. That moment, that moment like changed the trajectory of my entire existence.

I was like, oh, baby. Cause you're a huge boarder now. I love skating, yeah. I still skate to this day. Wow. But it's- Yeah, just that, Some hot older lady. Yep.

And then you're just, I'm set forever on that. Yep. That's also how I started smoking cigarettes, was when I was older. Dude, I was smoking and we were playing basketball at a comedians basketball. I was some writers too. Comedians basketball game on Saturdays at the Hollywood High.

No, it wasn't Hollywood High. It was another high school, a middle school. And so I hadn't finished my cigarette yet. And we were like on defense still smoking it. And then I was like running up the court. And I was like, I hadn't finished my cigarette yet, and we were like on defense still smoking it, and then I was like running up the court, and I was like, come on, the Scarboroughs, I was like, come on, I was like, yeah, yeah. And I took my last drag and threw it out,

like, what are you smoking, dude? You're too smart for that, I'm like, I know, you're right. They're like, it's bad for your health, I'm like, you're right, I know. And they're like, it makes you stink, I'm like, you're right, you're right, I know. Like, it's not cool, and I'm like, hold on. Easy does it.

Yeah, it's, that's the only reason anyone smokes. It's the coolest. It's so cool. It's so cool. The greatest. That's why this vape situation, I'm not for it. Yeah, the vapes aren't cool, but the cigs were cool, they are still cool.

I don't want a cigarette right now. I know. Okay, sorry, go ahead. It's been a long time since I had one. So that's why you got into skating, cause this chick, that's really cool. This babe was like. It's been a long time since I had one. So that's why you got into skating, because of this chick. Yeah. That's really cool. This babe was like.

That's really cool. She was very subtly being like, don't be a nerd. Yeah. Go skateboarding. Yeah, like I would not do, if I were regular teacher, she'd be like, oh, we'll do whatever your heart tells you.

Yeah. Which is like, nah, my boyfriend, this guy that fucks me does that skating. Dudes who fuck skate. Dorks who jerk off play Warhammer. And then later joined 4chan and say horrific things about everyone. And whose boyfriend does Warhammer?

No one. Nobodies. Okay, so you were there at 13. What'd you eat, what'd you get into? The pies were great. Love the macaroni pies. I love a shepherd's pie or cottage pie. Talk about the breakfasts in Scotland. Are the best. Yeah. Like world-class. Unheralded. I would put the the full Scottish breakfast. Full Scottish breakfast.

Up against any breakfast. Any breakfast. Yeah, I agree. It's. I agree. It's a midwesterner. Midwesterners look at this thing and are like that's a lot. It's a midwesterner, midwesterners look at this thing and are like, that's a lot. It's a lot, but it's so hearty and it's not too, it's not crazy much though. Right, so for a full Scottish breakfast, you're gonna have. And you can get this anywhere, by the way.

Everywhere has it. Everywhere has it. It's got. Look at that thing. So what is all this? So you've got a fried egg. Fried egg? Is this is the staple? Is the staple? You got this. Beans? Yep. Which no one America's like that's not a breakfast thing. That's a burrito thing or a fucking 4th of July barbecue thing. It's not. It's a breakfast thing. It's a

breakfast thing and it's great and yeah and people will say like it's it's colored and weird like lighter brown than. Yeah, we have yeah and the And people will say like the the bean should be in a cup on the side. It's like no interesting No, fuck that all slop all in the love all together Yeah, so you got your your beans and then they have their their bacon which is similar which is more like Canadian bacon Yeah, it's fat hearty delicious is oh, it's this one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's fat, hearty, delicious. Oh, it's this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the rounder.

Yeah. And they're crinkled on the edges. It's not strips. Yeah, and it's like if bacon was steak. It's so fucking good. That's this one, right? Yeah, dude. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a really, it's really, dude, when you're also, if you stayed up all night drinking, which you didn't do this at 13, this is a fucking jam walking home on acid in Edinburgh and it's like at 10 a.m. Like I'll get a breakfast and getting this before bed. It's like yes So what else is there? What's what's this at the bottom left? That I'm that I'm not sure we know what this is. That's sausage. The sausage is great. Then on the right you have the blood sausage That's this one No, this the square one That No, this. The square one.

That? I don't know. This is a weird setup they have here. But then you have the blood sausage, which is like a little black hockey puck of deliciousness. And it's gross. That might be haggis. It might be haggis.

Which is also delicious. Did you eat haggis? Love it. It's amazing. There's a few things I've tried in my life that I expected to hate. Yes. But I'm like, I should try it anyway.

My friend told me, I took a marketing class in first year, at the University, and they told us about regional foods that were big in a certain place, and then really not big anywhere else. And this was Verner's Ginger Soda, was big in the Michigan area, in Detroit, whatever. My friend was going to University of Michigan, I was like, hey, do you ever, have you know of Verner's? And he was like the Michigan area, Detroit, whatever. My friend was going to University of Michigan.

I was like, hey, do you ever, have you know Verne's? And he was like, yeah, I see it sometimes. I'm like, can you get me one? And I'm like, I'm not gonna like ginger soda. And he goes, it's got bite. It's not even ginger ale, it's ginger soda. And I loved it. And I'm like, get me more, get me so much more.

Hoggis was another one. Yeah. It gets a horrible rap, but it's like delicious meat savory oatmeal. God, it's so good, especially fried late night. Yes, dude. Yes. It gets such a bad rap.

Horrific rap, but it's great. Everyone can fuck right off with their meat, I guess. Yeah, why do they get that bad rap? Well, it is like cooked in the intestines of a sheep. It's cooked in the intestines of a sheep. That's got to be part of it. Which bums people out, but it's like, you eat hot dogs, intestines of a sheep. It's cooked in the intestines of a sheep. That's gotta be part of it. Which bums people out, but it's like, you eat hot dogs, dude, shut up.

That's pig face. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's like pig face and dog foreskin. Like, what the fuck gives you shit? Thick slab of butter, they don't give a fuck. Look at this coffee mug. What a beautiful setup, by the way. Whoever took this, Pinterest.

This is a great photo. Yeah, coffee mug with Scotland on it. A little toast. They do the halved tomato. The halved tomato grilled. Grilled, burnt, crispy. Yeah, it's so good. So good, dude.

And then you take all this shit, for the fried egg so you can get the yolk leaking out, and it's just, god damn it. It's the best breakfast. It's the best breakfast. It's unparalleled. Do you know how this differs from English breakfast? I do not.

I don't, I did at one point. No Scott, no, what's a call for sure no, uh Huggis yeah, the the Scottish breakfast doesn't invade India doesn't invade India. Yeah, let's see what else they got here I'm gonna kill myself for saying that It didn't register for a second I apologize. This is bad joke Yeah, it's it they're similar but then slightly different I didn't register for a second, I apologize. Oh, this is a bad joke. Yeah, they're similar but then slightly different.

They just bring it to you and they're real about it. Yeah, and Scotland versus England in general, the Scottish have such a better disposition. Well, they've been invaded and they're, oh, see, that's a good blood pudding right there. Yeah, dude, yes. And the sausages are so thick and hearty. Yes. And you wouldn't go sausage and bacon and blood pudding.

What the fuck is blood pudding, by the way? It's ground sausage stuff. And then they throw, they mix blood in with it, which is why it gets so black and weird. Wow. Which is, it's one of those things where you've got to just eat it and not think about it, because you're like, You can't think about it.

This is weird, but this is pretty great. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Another food was like that. I chanted Kuros. Those, uh, beetle tongue larva. Oh yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I liked it, but I liked it. Okay. No, no. What I really liked was the Kui was the guinea pig. That was like a delicacy. Like the chunked the Kuros. I was like, I could have it. It was okay. But like, the cool, the guinea pig was like thick and rich. I wonder if I could eat the, I was like, I can have it. It was okay, but the Guinea pig was thick and rich. That's what I'm thinking.

I wonder if I could eat, I definitely wouldn't eat the bugs. The problem with the Guinea pig, it's set out, we won't go into it, but it's set out like this and it's smiling and it's grilled, so you see a full Guinea pig laid out. It doesn't not look like, chicken doesn't look like a chicken.

And those do. This doesn't look like a intestine of a sheep. It looks like you crucified your little homie. Yeah, and he's still got the teeth and he's smiling. It's like. Oh, dude, this doesn't look like a intestine of a sheep. It looks like you crucified your little homie. Yeah, and he's still got the teeth and he's smiling. It's like. Dude, that's so twisted. Yeah. Yeah, that's not good.

But the haggis is amazing. But those are the only truly stellar food. The Indian food's pretty good. That's all over the UK, though. Yeah, that's so fucked up, dude. That's your buddy. That's my buddy. That's your little homie, man.

I don't know if I can eat that. I definitely couldn't eat bugs. I don't even eat seafood, because I find it to be too close to bugs. So okay, get back to it. So what did we do? What did we do there? What did we have with day to day?

You hung out with skaters, that's cool. Yes. And then nine months. And that became like my friend group. I still, I met a dude named Ewan Carroll. He's the man. Of course, Ewan, what is Scottish name? Yeah, and we had a similar taste in like pop culture,

but they had all this shit that we didn't have, like they had like the Mighty Boosh, old comedy show. So, and then I got to show him stuff that he'd never seen. So we had this like, and he was big into, he was big into, you know, comedy, we both loved like Kevin Smith and shit like that. Because here if you were in a Mighty Boosh,

you were a hipster cool person to even hear about it. It was only on BBC, like when The Office played. And it was like, how would you even find out about that? Such a cool exchange of like cultural stuff. Yeah, wow. Because they did have some really good stuff. Yeah, they had some funny stuff, a lot of bad stuff too. Yeah, Faulty Towers I never quite got.

No, none of the British comedies are like... Yeah. Was there any Scottish? Not really. Not that I recall, but it was also what was fucked up is that going over there, they still at that point, they still only had four channels. Yeah, BBC One, BBC Two, BBC Three. BBC One, BBC Two. Dave, IGTV, maybe something

like that. And then channel four and channel four was that shit. That was it. Channel four was that was their like reckless network. That was like after 10 tits all over the place. Cool like unedited movies. It was, Channel 4 was the jam. Wow. Channel 4 ripped. I saw this, I still think about it to this day. They had this show where they would just show clips. It would come on at like 2 a.m. I know it, nope, I don't know it.

And they would just show clips of like weird cult, old school, like obscure movies. Okay. That were like real fucked up. And they showed this clip of this one movie. And I'm so, I've been dying to see this Movie, but I could never figure out what it was but it's this it's this guy who's being attacked almost like a by like an evil dead demon chick and

They're like flirting and he's like, yeah, I love getting high off my ass and she's like, oh yeah and then she turns it to a demon and then bends him over and starts shoveling cocaine into his ass. And she's like, what's the matter? I thought you like getting high off your ass and like kills this guy by stuffing his ass full of cocaine. I love those two where you're like, you wanna be like, it's just a speech thing. Lady, I don't really mean.

Turn of phrase. Yeah, turn of phrase, yeah. So if anybody knows what the name of that movie is, I'd love to fucking say it. Oh yeah, reach out to Toby. Where are you on Instagram? At Toby.McMullin. It's my only social media.

At Toby dot, I assume you have to like uppercase both the M's. No, you can lowercase them. Or sort of say, Instagram's like, I don't know how to do this. At Toby.McMullin. Reach out if you know that fucking movie and tell him. So that's cool, that's fun. Like exchanging ideas like that with people.

What did he like from America? Family Guy had just hit. Nice. So that was big. That was real big. Dude, my buddy told me about, that I met in Guatemala, my buddy is from England, told me about the Big Les, you know Big Les?

Oh, I gotta show it to you later. It's just five minute shorts on YouTube. It's just, they're great. Anyway, I'll show them to you later. They're great, stupid, high, fucking around like high. The whole season's probably like 45 minutes because they're five minute episodes and they have like six seasons of it.

It's for when you're stoned out your ass with somebody. Sounds great, that sounds like the shit that I like. Yeah, just a bogan. Okay, so what else happened during that period? Or should we jump to 17? No, we'll get there in a second. There's still some really cool moments that I got to experience.

Hi guys, today's episode of You'll Be Trippin' is brought to you by Shopify.com. Whatever you're selling online, Shopify will help you sell it. They set up your online platform from start to finish to get you connected to your customers, no matter what you sell. What I'm selling is reactions to the smell of my belly button lint. We have today, Caitlin here, who's going to smell my belly button, and let's try to commodify

this reaction. Hold on. Caitlin, get a nice rip of that. You didn't smell it. I know you didn't fucking smell it, you bitch. I know you didn't fucking smell it. She pretended to lean in. Oh, stinky. Oh, I can smell it.

She's a fucking liar. That reaction is discounted half price, because who's going to pay for that garbage? You didn't even do it. You fucking bitch. You didn't even fucking do it. You just go, as if you smell forward. Anyway, whatever you're selling,

go to Shopify.com to help you sell it to your customers. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Did you even consider smelling it? Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash trippin', all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash trippin' to upgrade your selling today.

Shopify.com slash Trippin to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Trippin. That was a debacle. Now back to the episode. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What comes to mind when you hear the word gratitude? Maybe it's a daily practice, or maybe it feels hard to be grateful right now. Don't forget to give yourself some thanks

by investing in your wellbeing. BetterHelp is the largest online therapy provider in the world, connecting you to qualified professionals via phone, video, or message chat. Let the gratitude flow. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more and save 10% on your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com.

One of them being, there was a skate video that came out that was huge. It was called This Is Skateboarding by a shoe company named America. Oh, I remember America. E-America? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a big poser when I started comedy.

We're a wristband, couldn't skate. No, you didn't. Yeah, big poser, dude. No way. Hey, poser. Did you tell people you could? Or you just let them infer? I just wear it.

Yeah, somebody called me a poser. I was at Treasure Island in Vegas. I was like Hey, poser. Did you tell people you could? Or you just let them infer? I just wear it. Yeah, somebody called me a poser. I was at Treasure Island in Vegas. I was like, fucking poser. I was just walking. And I was like, fuck you. Like, I let myself believe lies really well. I was like, you don't know shit. I ripped, dude.

Literally, the best I could do, I eventually learned I could skate, Duncan taught me how to skate down a curve. That's good. I like, lift the nose so you could just go down. Yeah. So would a poser be able to do that? You fucking bitch, you're still in my head 20 years later.

Would a poser be able to do the second thing you figure out? This is skateboarding? Yes. And it was the, sorry, I'm just looking at it. I took a bunch of notes so I can keep all this straight. Okay. And they premiered it in, they did it earlier, it was not a premiere, it was more of a screening

at one of the movie theaters in Aberdeen. Oh, cool. And every skateboarder from all over hacked this theater out, and it was one of the most incredible experiences I had had up until that point. Because this was before the internet, before YouTube, like it was hard to get your hands on this shit. Like either it would be...

Oh, right, tapes. Or DVDs. And they would come out every handful of years, there'd be a big one. Now they're just being rifled off left and right. But it was this packed theater, oversold, we're sitting in the aisles, me and my new friends, watching, you know, Andrew Reynolds and all these incredible guys, Kevin Long, watching these video parts,

and the place was popping off, dude. Just screaming and just like, oh, grabbing each other and just like, oh my God, do you fucking believe this? This, ah, Andrew Reynolds's front side flipping 15 stairs. And you're like, holy fucking shit. And it was so, because I was so lonely for a lot of that experience.

You know, I spent so much time by myself that it felt so good to just be in this room with all these other kids and just like connecting and all experiencing this thing together. And everybody there is in a skateboard. No one's just like, let me see what this movie is. No, everyone is stoked. Wow. Just so high. Was that like a groundbreaking one? Oh, huge. Wow. Huge. Um, after, after it ended, everybody let out and there was a,

there was a skate spot like a block away and everybody went skating. The skate shop who had set it up had like, doing like product tosses. They're like throwing boards They did have some good fellows They had a screen of good fellows and everybody went out and went to a place where they could be the fucking garbage worst of the whites People sure. Yeah, they all went out and beat their wives. Yeah, they beat their wives and acted like fucking mafioso's when they're not Like I'll come back. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a valet, but I have a pinky ring. Yeah, exactly. I'm talking about you, Bret Ernst and Verzi. Wow, that's so cool.

That's so cool. Dude, there's nothing like a packed movie theater. It's never going to be this. It's never going to happen again. It will. It has been. For Oppenheimer, the chicks all fucking finally figured out how much movies cost when they went to see Barbie.

They're like, why movies are over $10? Yeah, they're like, for a while, dude. I went and saw The New Mission Impossible. Just like on a whim, I was just on my couch. I was like, oh, I'll go see a movie. I'll go see it. I go to the theater pretty full. And very quickly, everyone in the theater started clapping.

At like moments where you should not clap. Like Tom Cruise hits the run, and this is in a story of Queens, so it's just like a bunch of Latino families just like clapping, losing their minds. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then I realized that it was opening day. I thought the movie had come out the week before.

I was there opening night, and these were the die-hard Tom Cruise fans. The impossibles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all cruising for bruising, these guys. I got into Scientology for seven years because of him. Yeah, it was so, it was like when people clap on a plane. All due respect to the Scientologists,

I mean you know, I don't want any trouble. For real. Please don't kidnap me and stuff me in the bowels of a boat. Oh, this is good for you. I lived in a town over from Clearwater where the Scientologists. Florida? Yeah.

So they have a local slur for Scientologists because they're all over. Sino's. Nice all over. Yeah. Sinos. So nice. Nice. Nice. Yeah. So there's people saying, there's fucking Sinos everywhere. Wow.

Yeah, so you can take that with you. Dan, that's so cool that everybody got into it there. Like, lost their minds. Yeah, and that movie brought everyone together. Skateboarding in general brought, because the movie wasn't made in Scotland. No, it's made in California. Yeah, so it's like it brought the US,

and where does skateboarding start? California. California. Yeah, just instantly everyone's in the same spot. We all do this thing. We can all connect and relate to this. Wow, yeah. It ruled.

The other thing that was jarring was like the fashion there is so terrible. Yeah, really bad. They all dress like Ohio mall kids. Just like, there's no style. And their taste in pop culture is like weirdly skewed. Like everyone loves the Foo Fighters in Scotland. Really?

Yeah, they like, you'll see so many, I don't know if it still is, but you would see Foo Fighters shirts everywhere. And in my head, I was like, that band from the radio, really, that's like what everyone loves. It's just, it's weird the things that, it's weird the things that blow up there, because it's like the language is the same is the same but yeah, it's weird

I remember there was an ad for Bush the man Bush. Yeah, they got big here You look like sure someone's modeled his life after Gavin Ross Dale. I just realized yeah, they're playing over in closet, but like They they went back to America England and played their English the ad was, come see what America thinks we're missing. No way, dude. Yeah, and they just didn't hit there. They just weren't big there. Whoa. It's like no reason for it.

And then we don't have their big bands. It was like, we've never even heard of them. The Arctic Monkeys made it big over here. But there's very few Scottish anything that really. It's like the Arctic Monkeys. I would walk 500 miles. You and McGregor. And then those guys.

There's always a here or there something. You're like, oh, that's Scotland? So do you feel, by the way, do you feel connected to Scotland when you hear something about it? Do you like perk up more than you would about like a Cambodian thing? Now probably I'm like, I'm more like, oh, that's cool.

Rude, so rude dude. First show in the new studio, you don't silence the phone man. The disrespect, took a accidental screenshot trying to silence it. It's this fucking spam shit from goddamn stupid Joe Rogan telling me to get ivermectin. And they call you for the next six years

trying to sell you any dick pill, any pill. They don't warn you about everything. He didn't do all his research. Yeah. Anyway, go ahead How are you feeling about this by the way? What about the space? I'm loving it. It's pretty feels pretty good Yeah, it's roomy. It's nice. Yeah, it's roomy like a Scottish Highland I'm really I'm really having a having a panic attack about the about the video coming out and the audio being clear But other than that listen, listen, I mean, we'll see. But we did the, we did the, like, the whatever. The focus, did our due diligence. I let you do it, so.

You let me do it, so there's less fuck up. I mean, I think this was a fucking coup, dude. We can make a great looking fucking cool place. Fuck you. Right here. Yeah, baby. Can you get that in the shot? I think you can.

There's Edinburgh, there's St. Andrews. Been there. And it's right here. Yeah, baby. Can you get that in the shot? I think you can. There's Edinburgh, there's St. Andrews. You've been there. And it's way up. Let me see, what else is there? Do you like brown sauce? I do like brown sauce. I don't love it, but I'm okay with it. I like it.

So you never had Buckfest? No. You were too young. I was too young. But we'll get into my Scotland boozing on my next trip. I booze heavy there. I just wanna make sure I didn't miss anything. Love a guest that takes notes and thinks about it. Cause this shit's a long time ago.

So you really gotta think about it and go, oh yeah, oh yeah, I forgot about that, I forgot that. If I'm just like, how was Scotland? You're like, really nice nature. And you'd forget the fucking movie. I love a guest who does some fucking work. Yeah, oh, this is bad, I'm gonna say this up top. So my family was obsessed with Scotland, right?

To the point where we would go to the Highland Games in North Carolina, which is like the Renaissance fair for Scottish shit. They'd dress us up in fucking kilts, so I'm like a little kid running around in a skirt. Really? Watching dudes do the like, caber toss and stuff. Oh, you've showed me shit like that before.

Yeah. It's so cool. Just a giant telephone pole that you're flipping? Yeah, except it's not Scottish dudes. It's like redneck farmers. Who were like, my folks, my family came from over there. It's just like, dude, what the fuck are we doing, man?

I love how your redneck is Philly. Cause that's not how they talk in Carolina. It's, I'm trying to, it's, yeah, I do, R.E. Garbage is a Philadelphia accent. Is like, that's my go-to accent now. It's taken over for trash. Yeah, so it's like, how does my family sound? Like, oh man, it's real disappointing

that you don't go to church on Wednesdays. Why is my Southern accent not working? Ah, whatever. Yeah, it's not that great. But it used to be, it used to be impeccable. So the Highland games. Yeah, North Carolina Highland games. So embarrassing. I'm from Maine, North Carolina and so they went there to like to ever do it in up there. No, never went to any Highland games. Grandfather games Highland games. Fuck yeah, dog. Yeah, but that was me.

I was like those little kids in kilts. I was like a little kid in the kilt, man. How embarrassing is that? Oh, it's humiliating. Oh, and they have it in like, what's that language in Scotland? Gaelic. Gaelic, but it's kind of a cousin to the Irish, right?

Yeah, kinda. Kid Melfait, 100,000 welcomes. Yeah so the uh look at these little fucking redhead losers kids. Dude that was... This kid has this kids got some black hair he's got a chance. This kid back here all sunblock his whole life. Yeah terrible. Look at this he's running with his look at them all running with their tongues out. God. fucks, dude. This is me Oh, I if one of those kids is our bowl cut in a rat tail. It would look exactly like how I look Yeah, love his black kids lap of these dudes

He's got the fucking same bolt form I'm gonna whip. Yeah, eat my dust bitches. Ah, eat my dust. Yeah, so that was a, that's pretty much it for, oh, I did one of the most, one of my most vivid memories of living there in Aberdeen was I was with the Warhammer Nerd Kids. And we went to go play laser tag.

Cool. And we're playing laser tag, having fun. And then out of the like fog machine mist and this little kid comes running with no vest, no gun, just a loose child in this laser tag arena, you know, flying in the face of the rules of combat, and then behind him comes the fattest man you've ever seen with two vests on and two guns laying waste to everyone.

He had taken this little kid's vest, put it over his so that if he got shot, it would count on the other kid's score and he couldn't get hit. And he's just terminating dudes, bro. It's like, fool's up. This is the dork terminator. Legend.

Yeah, I don't know why, but that always sides with the funniest damage. I know, he's running like he's still going to get killed. No. Just this fat, redheaded dickhead. Oh my god. Blast it away. It was great.

So then. Can I read a poem real quick? I don't know. It's the passing of one of their own Sandy Jones from the North Carolina Highland Games and There's a poem here for him. So may the road wise rise up to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the sun shine warm on your face the rains fall soft on their fields and until we meet again

May God hold you in the palm of his hands Fight on Sandy Jones fight. Shout out Sandy Jones. Cosplaying as a... Cosplaying as an adult. Yeah, it's so weird, dude. Owned slaves. Yeah, for sure. That's funny, we gotta do a comedian's laser tag game.

That would be a blast. Yeah, yeah, that'd be fun. All right, let's get to you as a fucking young adult here. Alright, so then. This is great, you've been back a few times. Flash forward to 2009. Okay, modern times now. Yes.

That there could be only one. Yes, 2009, I had just gotten kicked out of college. Yeah. I was kind of like unsure of what I was doing with my life and my dad was like gonna do research for this book, and was like, we're gonna go live in France, do you wanna come with us? And I was like, that's gonna be an insane opportunity

to say no to. So I was like, for sure I'll go. So we went and we spent a month in this tiny town in the south of France, and we're all, one day we woke up and we were like eating breakfast, and we're looking around and we're all, my dad is like up and we were like eating breakfast and we're looking around and we're all, my dad is like, yo, I fucking hate it here. And my mom and I were like, fucking us too.

We were all like pretending like we liked it because we didn't want to upset the- To be nice for the other person? Yeah. Yeah. So we were like, let's get the, dude, fuck France. Let's go to Edinburgh. And we were like, yeah.

So we bagged the whole, we were supposed to stay in France for like months go to Edinburgh. And we were like, yeah, so we bagged the whole, we were supposed to stay in France for like months and months and then we were like, fuck this place. This sucks. I shit in a river in France because I hated it so much, like out of spite. I was like, fuck this town. And not like, I didn't get in the water and shit.

I sat on the edge of a fence. On this, yeah, I blooped it. This river that separated Vichy France and not Vichy France in World War II. And I just shit in this river just like, fuck this town. I hated it. That's fucking wild. Fuck France.

Wow, okay, okay, okay. So we go to Edinburgh, we get there, I was 19, and while I was in France, I was just drunk every day. I inverted my sleep schedule, I would wake up at 5 p.m., I'd start drinking wine with my folks, then I'd go to the one corner store they had in this tiny town, grab a bottle of rum for five euros,

and then drink that all night. And. Goodbye, tacky, but goodbye. And was like, just like trying to figure out what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. I thought I wanted to be an actor, but I was like, this shit sucks. Like, I kicked out of acting school.

And I was listening to Pat and Oswalt's Werewolves and Lollipops. And I was like, this, I want to do this. Because you don't have to memorize lines, you get to say whatever you want. I love people, how do you memorize your lines? Like there are no lines. There are no lines.

Say whatever you want. Exactly, so I was like, I wanna do this, I wanna do stand up. So we moved to Edinburgh, and the first time we were there, I looked up comedy clubs in Edinburgh, they have a great one there called The Stand. The Stand. And I went there every night.

It's just the first time I went, I started hanging out that first night, I met a guy named Jerry, who's an American from Rhode Island, who was a stage hand, they have a lot of theater in Edinburgh, obviously. Yeah, the stand is on, it's in Newtown, right? I believe so. Yeah, I'm picturing it now.

It's on this long road. I could walk there, it's up the hill, and it's across from the, it's across from like the Botanical Gardens or something. There's like a park across the street. Yeah, gorgeous park. Amazing park. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good place to smoke weed. Fuck yeah, dude. They're not high on weed there. Dude, okay, so this is a thing that happened in Edinburgh. Everybody smokes spliffs, right? Yeah. But I'm like an American guy, who used to smoke in bowls.

So I went and got a Chillum, you know, like the straight pipe without a carb on it. For like one hitters? Yeah, but bigger than a one hitter. It's more like a bowl in the front. And I was smoking that and everyone thought I was a crack head. Everyone I tried to pass it to would be like,

oh, what the fuck is that? And I'd be like, it's weed man. They'd be like, no, roll it, spliff me. And I was like, no dude, I don't want tobacco in my fucking weed man. It's crazy and I try to explain to them like, you don't smoke it like that in America. I'm like, just blacks. Only blacks smoke it like that here.

Yeah, we're like cheap hippies. OK, maybe. But like, maybe. But like, that's a charades, you know, kind of thing. Sure. It's a way to save money. I get that. They always say that it lasts longer that way.

It lasts longer. I'm like, just smoke less weed. Take the amount of weed you're putting in the spliff, hit it in a one-hitter, and then go smoke your cigarettes. What do you mean? Although, I do get it now. I will do them in like Mexico and places like that. You roll them, it's like, it's just a nicer buzz

in a cigarette. And the joy of smoking is nice. So it lasts longer means the time lasts longer. And it's like, now now that I quit cigs, it's like a nice way to cheat on that. Yeah, right, right, right. It's a nice way to get a snake. I got re-addicted in Scotland.

Because of the split. I hear Shaw, my roommate, was smoking malt. I was like, well, I'll smoke a split with you because you can't smoke a pure, they call it. It's fucking, I'm not gonna say that word, but like, not the first podcast we do, but like, but you know what I mean. And then I went to, after I went to Croatia,

to take a little vacation, go to an island, and then I was like, I'm fucking, I'm like, oh fuck, I'm addicted to cigarettes from these fucking spliffs. Yeah, I bought a pouch and I was like, I'll just do it here. Yeah, so the first time I met Jerry, he's a stagehand, and he was like, just like a local at the comedy club.

That was his bar, that was his hangout. Oh cool, yeah. So he would also like run tech for them sometimes. So I'm just like shooting the shit with him, and we're just like talking comedy after the show, and he was like, do you do comedy? And I was just, just instant lie. Oh yeah, for sure.

Yeah. 19 years old just talking shit. He was like, oh yeah, in Chicago. And, because that's where I got kicked out of school. And he was like, oh cool, you wanna meet the comics? And I was like, yeah dude. So then he took me backstage, I'm like chopping it up and he's going, I remember introducing the guy,

I'd be like, this is my new friend Toby, he's a comrade from Chicago, he knows comedy. And we just sat back there and I just sat back there just talking, just because I was such a comedy nerd. Just talking with everybody and then they closed the, they kicked everyone out and then I was drinking with the staff. No.

And then I went there every- Because you're a comic to them. Exactly. So they're like, oh, he's cool, he can stay. He can hang. So, and I was, and I've always been, until I had to quit, I was always an excellent drinker, in terms of using it to maneuver the social aspects,

just really good at keeping the vibe of. Skill's not done enough being a good drinker. It's so important, dude. So you're there, Edward, just hanging out with the guys, that's how you started comedy? Yeah. So how'd you go from there to doing it? So I, why? It's so funny, you're like, yes, and then you're just hanging out with the guys. That's how you started comedy? Yeah. So how'd you go from there to doing it? So I-

It's so funny how you're like, you're kinda like, yes. And then you're just in. Yeah. You're just, that's, so you just start there? Let's check it out. So I started hanging out every night. They stopped charging me for admission.

I was just, I just got to hang. They started giving me the employee discount on drinks. Oh. I was the only one who drank, they had a bottle of Jim Beam way up at the top. And I was like, can I get a shot of Jim Beam? And they were like, fucking really? Because they don't do shots over there. The drinking culture is very different. They don't do shots or they do exact pours with the things actually in there. You can't even like do it, like here they do it like that and then as they're ready to pour,

they keep it going a little bit. Yeah. You know, they raise this thing, it's all these bottles like this and they have a thing attached to it. And they just push it in, it fills up this like medicine cap cup and then that is, that what comes out

like a, you know, a gumball machine. Exactly. It is the poor. And you're like, go bigger. And they won't. They won't. But they will if you're the homie. So I would do shots and hang out and they didn't have an open mic,

but they had a, Monday night they had their like new comic showcase called Red Raw. And it was incredibly hard to get on because it was packed. It was five pounds to ticket, students, younger people, wall to wall sold out every week. And it was incredibly competitive to get on because of.

Good show. Good show, and not a lot of stand up happening throughout Scotland, you know what I mean? So people would travel from London, from Glasgow, to do the showcase, to try and begin the book. The Glasgow stand is one of the best clubs in the world. It's awesome. Yeah, the Edinburgh stand is good,

but the Glasgow stand is like, is like a top tier club. It's cool, they're right up on ya, it's long and sideways. So, you know, through lying and being a good hang, the Booker gave me two spots a month apart. So, the first time I'm ever gonna do stand-up was in Scotland.

What? And I, at this sold out show, and I wrote one joke, this was five minutes. I wrote one joke, and then I was like, and then I'll just improvise. I can't do that now. Dog, for real. So I'm in the back way to go on just drinking,

smoking weed out of my crack pipe, chill them, just being like, if I get stoned, it'll be better. You know, so wrong. I get on stage, the lights are so bright. Yeah, no one's expecting it, no one's ready for it. And I've told everyone that I'm a comic. So they all have it, there's expectation. Of you like, oh, this guy's gonna crush

with an American style stand up. Exactly. It'll be great. Yeah. Exactly. Ari. American style liar. Yeah, I bombed. Yeah, really? I mean the sweat. I love a cold sweat, I love a cold sweat. Oh, dude.

Oh, it's so upsetting to think about. One of my favorite things is Kill Tony, is if I take that seat closest to the, it's flipped. The guy will be here, but like, let's do it here. And I'll be this close, and I'll be watching him bomb. And I just stare at his forehead to see if I can see it coming out. You can't interrupt for a minute,

but I just like want to like see. Because I know I've had it myself. And then it's just like, you see it get glistening. It's so interesting. It's the worst feeling. I did an Australian accent of this joke to complete silence, and in the back, you just hear a guy go, eh, good accent.

It's just like, fuck, dude, come on. Wow. Yeah, but then luckily, I had another set lined up. Yeah. So then I was humiliated, mortified, and I was like, that is not going to fucking happen again. So then I wrote. For a month later?

For a month later. Okay. How long were you there for this time? Nine months. Wait, again nine months? Yep. Damn. But I missed the fringe.

I was there, of the nine months I was there, so I still haven't been to the fringe. I know what it's like. I know. Everyone says. Oh't been to the fringe. I've no idea what it's like. I know, everyone says. Oh, you're not a drinker though. Yeah, it's Jeff. It's a drinking place. I'm going next year for sure. I'm dying to go.

Yeah, but also it's fun the rest too. A lot of people leave during the fringe by the way. Cause like it's over with tourists. I'll sell my apartment for the month for 10 times, whatever. And I'll go to the highlands. I'll go vacation. Yeah. So I worked on this set, and it went well.

The mistake I made this time, different mistake. I had my buddy film it. I had one of those. Remember those flip cams? Before cell phones had video cameras? The little handheld ones that you'd. Flip, oh yeah, yeah, uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you just kind of held it. It's not a GoPro, but it's like. It was the predecessor. So, we, I did that. I had my buddy film it. No, you have your second set? I deleted it. Uh-huh, what?

It might be somewhere. How'd you do? Pretty well. Okay. I was going to say like worse. No, no, no, no, no, no. It w it. It went good. It was a, everyone was stoked afterwards. They were like, Oh, so much. They were like, all my homies were like, thank fucking Christ, dude. Like we thought, we thought maybe you sucked. Yeah, but it, but it went good and it was five minutes and it was jokes. Um, but like terrible.

But the mistake that I made is I then took that video and I Facebook messaged it to everyone that I knew. Yeah. Like personal, like high school friends, cause I had gotten kicked out of college. So I could out dude. Yeah, so I was exactly. So I was like so desperate to prove that I wasn't a loser

and then made it so much worse. I sent it to my English teacher from high school. What the fuck was I thinking? What were you thinking? I was an idiot. I was an idiot. I was also hammered drunk every day that I was there. You don't make great decisions when you're drunk.

I don't know if I'm breaking any codes of silence, but yeah, it's not the best decision making drug. I would, every night I would drink, on the way home I would grab, or I'd make sure I had one in my room. I would get those two liters of cider they have, that alcoholic cider, and I would just guzzle it all night and then go to sleep as the sun was coming up.

Oh, they do have good cider, recordling and, recorderling? Yeah, and then go to sleep as the sun was coming up. Cider. Oh, they do have good cider. Recordling and recorderling. Yeah, and then white light. But this is like, this is like their equivalent of a 40. Did you have iron brew? I love iron brew. Love it, dude. You don't like that shit? That's another wild one.

It just tastes like plastic. It tastes like bubblegum. It tastes like bubblegum, you're right. It's an orange soda that tastes like bubblegum. Scotland and Russia are two of the countries where Coca-Cola is not the, two of the only countries where Coca-Cola is not the number one selling about soda. What do they have in Russia?

I don't know, tears from the Gulag? I don't know. It's so gross, tears from the Gulag, shut up. It's so gross. Tears from the Gullock, shut up. It's great. What are you talking, that shocks me. It just looks like orange soda, but it's not orange soda. It doesn't taste anything like orange. It's just too plastic-y.

And everyone's drinking out, and they're drinking out of these one and a half liters or two liters all the time. Iron Brew and vodka is a disgusting beverage they can't get enough of. It's an obese country. It is, yes. Yeah, I think it's a good picture of iron brew. Oh, yeah, perfect.

Yeah, but these two liters of cider are like our 40s. You know, it's like the shittiest alcohol they have. It's not made from apples, it's made from onions. of cider are like our 40s. You know, it's like the shittiest alcohol they have. It's not made from apples. It's made from onions. It's onion cider. What is that? But it's marketed as it calls. I'm trying to remember.

It wasn't Strongbow. Strongbow. Oh no. But it wasn't, it was a shitty, it was a cheaper version. There was like, there was one. Strongbow's good. There was one really bad one that was called White Lightning.

And that's for bums. That's for people who drink Listerine. That's up there with 311, not 311, high gravity, steel reserve. You know steel reserve? Also, it does go with 311. I wasn't wrong. It just wasn't the right thing you're talking about. Yeah.

Correct. Yeah, it's really bad. But it was like three pounds for like a two liter of booze. Wow. It's like, that's a good deal. Yeah. And I was broke as shit. Did they let you in bars then?

Did they let you buy at 17? I was 19. 19. So I could drink. Wow, yeah. Dog. Coming back after that trip. Not being able to drink? One year, being 20 years old in Oh, wow, yeah. Dog. Coming back after that trip. And not being able to drink?

One year, being 20 years old in Chicago, back in prison. Just no bars, no drink, had to go to the one corner store that would sell to us. Find someone so you could drink out behind a fucking dumpster like a fucking peasant. Dog shit. Instead of going to a bar. And the bars in Scotland are so cool. And I'm like- They're not crazy blasting music.

It's just like cool, chill. Yeah, and I'm like a pro level drinker. I know how to hang in the bar, keep the fun, don't black out, don't puke. Yeah, it's pubs, catch a buzz, bro. Yeah, dude, watch the football game, be like, or the soccer game. I love seeing an older man reading the paper

at a pub by himself. Drinking a beer. Drinking a beer, reading the paper, and it's not like, oh, you're an alcoholic. It's like, no, it's a place to go, it's a social situation. Drinking a beer, reading the paper, and it's not like, oh, you're an alcoholic. It's like, no, it's a place to go. It's a social situation. It's my dad, that's 100% my dad's problem.

I gotta fucking hang out with your dad from now on. Hey, sweetie. Hey, so you'd have more fun for sure. What, if you tell anybody now, let's wrap this up, because I know you gotta go, and also, whatever. I gotta take a dump. Speaking of Scotland, I gotta take a dump. What would you tell people if they're going to Scotland?

Like you gotta check this out. You gotta go, not even a place or anything. I mean, I guess I would say the Scottish breakfast. The Scottish breakfast, you also have to do the shitty Scottish breakfast. There's a thing they have there called Gregg's, which is like Dunkin' Donuts. Gregg's, yeah.

And they do these things called sausage rolls that are amazing. I saw that thing, it's like, it's the cousin, this is the high level cousin of the toned down sausage rolls, Scottish rolls. Yes. Yeah. It's a puff pastry with a sausage and it's so fucking delicious.

They sell out, they're so good. You gotta go to Edinburgh, you gotta drink Iron Brew. The candy is so good. Did you ever have a deep fried Mars bar? I had a whole fried meal there. It's an obese country. It's an obese country. And fries, a fried slice of pizza, and a fried Oreo for dessert.

They love deep frying. They fry the shit out of everything. But it's fun, but they bust balls, and they're hardy people. If you take Glasgow out, Scotland is not an obese country. Yeah. It's so obese there. Yeah, they're hardy, they're fun.

They're just an invaded country, so it's just like, I guess they're not a country. They will be at the next referendum, I'm pretty positive. It was like 49 to 51 on the last one. And now that was before Brexit. They're like. Fuck outta here. You know, the Europe is gonna be like, hey, whatever they're giving you, we'll give you.

Let's get you out. The. Red button still going? Yeah, I can't help but look. I did look at it once, because you're here for the safety net, but that is right in my view where I'll need, my red button's going.

I'm so conditioned. Yeah. Oh yeah. The candy is way better there. They do have fun candy. The arrow, have you had an arrow bar? Yeah. The mint arrow bar, dude, is so delicious.

It's milk chocolate around this like, it has like air pockets in it. Air pockets, yeah. It's like light, minty, delicious. Yeah. And Jaffa cakes. Those delicious. And Jaffa cakes. Those are good. Big fucking cookie, big thick wafery and-

It's a sponge. Little Debbie almost. Yeah, it's a sponge with an orange cream filling and a little chocolate on top. It's so good. Oh yeah, the orange cream filling. You don't get that anywhere else. Jaffa cakes, they're good for breakfast.

It is funny that my whole view of this country is through a child's eye. I'm like, anywhere else. Yeah. Jaffa cakes, they're good for breakfast. It is funny that my whole view of this country is through a child's eye. Yeah. I'm like, the candy's amazing. Candy, you can skateboard? You can skate and do any candy. Yeah, drink an iron brew, go to Edinburgh. Yeah.

The Isle of Skye is amazing. You went up there. I did, I went everywhere. So you went around too. Oh, my parents took me everywhere. Trains are easy, huh? Trains are amazing. The castles are cool.

I didn't appreciate it at the time. I would like to go back. So, dude, I went to Edinburgh my first time and I was like, I think it was my first time, and I went to Aheer and Alex Keely and Alex Shaw and I was like, you guys wanna go to the castle in Edinburgh? And they're like, no, I'm like, what? No, and then I go, Ari, wherever we're from,

we have, I can't do it, but like, Ari, wherever we're from, we have lots of castles. I'm like, oh, oh, fair enough. Like, it's not that special. When my buddies, I had some buddies from Edinburgh come and visit me in Chicago, and I took them to the liquor store, and I remember my buddy, his like head

popping over one of the aisles after he saw a 30 rack for the first time. And he just goes, 30 beers, they got all 30 beers. He was mind blown by it. And then we got back to the apartment and he pulled them out and he goes, ah, sure, it's 30 beers, but they're fucking tiny, because they only have pints, they don't have 12 ounce beers.

Oh yeah, that's a real fucking beer. And also it's already kind of warm, so it doesn't lose its cold. Yeah. Wow, yeah. But they're fucking tiny. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, I mean, I love, Scotland's a great place.

It's great. You want to go back for the festival? Maybe, in the future. I would want to. Do you have a desire to at some point go? Yes. Maybe not, okay. Yeah. Why maybe. Do you have a desire to at some point go? Yes. Maybe not. OK. Yeah.

Yeah. Why maybe? Why'd you say maybe like that? Because the fringe is gnarly. It's gnarly. It's a lot of work. It's a, the fringe isn't like, that's not like a fun experience.

It is a fun experience. It's a mission. Disagree, but yeah, I know what you mean. It's a long road. Let me rephrase. It's not an easy experience. Right. It's not.

It's not travel. It's work. Right. You have to make yourself get salads, because they don't have them at restaurants. Yep. So you have to make yourself go to the supermarket and have like stuff in your fridge like for nutrients. You have to force yourself to not drink one night. You'll be way better off because you don't and get some sun. Yeah. Um, when it is out, you got to bark. You got to, you got, you're, you got to bark or hire somebody to do it for you. Yeah. Even then a lot of people still

flyer for yourself. Yeah. Well, you got to do it for you. Yeah, even then a lot of people still flyer. It's for yourself. Well, you got to do it after shows. You're on other people's shows, like doing 10 minutes. Then after that, I would do it, like stand on top, like, hey, I got to show at seven. Hey, I got to show at seven. Hey, I got to show at seven.

I'll check that out. Toby, this is great. This is great. Yeah, buddy. Everybody, this is a fucking Toby Studio here, man. You've got this whole fucking thing up. The UNDs. Yeah, me, Ryan Day, the three of us.

But we like conceived it together. We were like, you were like really so helpful. I'm like, dude, what do you want to do? How do you want it to be? Let's get the vibe down. Yeah. It was an unbelievable experience. I'm so happy.

I can't wait to see all the cool stuff that comes out of here and it'll get better and better as it goes. Before we go, what year was paid regular? What year did paid regular come out? Paid regular? By the way, well, now it's out on YouTube. They're putting it out finally. As of this, it's coming out this Sunday.

Paid regular came out 2012 or 2014? It had to have been 2014. Yeah, passive aggressive was 2012, 2014. 2014, okay. So, 2014, I was living in- It's my special, paid regular from a comedy store. I was living in Chicago. I had just started doing comedy.

I lived in this total flop house. There was five of us when I was addicted to heroin. It's like graffiti on the walls, just smoking inside. We paid our rent in cash, just like a bad dude. Mattress on the floor type shit. And I remember so vividly listening to, you did a podcast where you broke down your whole experience of getting past at the Comedy Store.

Oh yeah. And I listened to that. Yeah. And it made me cry. Really? And I found it to be. Yesterday's my 20th anniversary. I found it to be such an inspiration

and it, I was like listening to it, like crying being like, this, I want that. I wanna work that hard for something and I want to do this. Oh. So to go from that to doing this with you is like, unbelievable. Oh wow, so that's why you got it yesterday.

We had to work hard to get this done in time before people go off on vacation and stuff. And it was like, what about last night? What about Thursday night? And I was like, I can't, it's my 20 year anniversary getting passed, I gotta do spots. And you're like, okay.

You weren't like, come on man. He was just like, oh. No, I totally get it. Yeah, and that's like, okay, you weren't like, come on man. He was just like, oh. No, I totally get it. Yeah, and that's like cheesy or whatever, but it's fucking real, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny. I forgot about that podcast, but yeah, I worked hard to get that shit.

You did. And it fucking inspired this shit out of me, dude. Yeah. How about that? Wow. So maybe this will inspire someone to go eat shitty food in Scotland. Yeah, get out there, you guys.

What a fucking glorious, never been in the winter, I heard it's depressing as fuck in the winter. What would you tell someone to stay away from? That's a question I gotta ask everybody. Oh. We don't have to do it. Interesting. Anyone wearing a soccer jersey.

Oh yeah. They will fight you dude. Oh my God, drugs are bad there. Yeah. Anyone drinking and playing the slot machine in the bar? Oh yeah, the casino bar, that thing. That's a desperate human being. Stay away from it, they will fuck your shit up.

Guys, it's one of my favorite places in the world, Scotland. Get out there and go see it. You got to go. I have a deep connection to that place, and I'm glad we did this at a place that I've been in, and I love, I love Scotland. And it's not a country, but in a place that I've been and I love I love Scotland and it's not a country but it is a country Goddamn, I love Scotland. So get out there and go fucking see it for yourself. Everybody. Thank you. Toby. I appreciate it Thank you, man. Yeah, and you'll come back and do another place. Sure down. Okay. Anytime. Well, that's the episode everybody

Thank you very much for tuning in. Thank you. Toby McMullen for coming in and doing don't forget to check out his podcast Dynamite Rocketship that I'm on either this week or next week but go ahead and subscribe to his and check it out right now. It was a fun one. We took callers. I rarely take callers anymore. It's a whole radio thing. Damn this experience for him in Scotland is interesting because the skateboard life it's like it really goes to show you it's not the main cities that he's talking about it's a different city and it's a different time in his life and it's not what most people would tell someone going to Scotland that they got to check out so it just gives you a different version of it I saw somebody I'll read comments the

first day especially on YouTube. I saw somebody What's about The Somalia episode and say that all he did was he didn't tell me what it's gonna be like for me to go to Somalia It's like no, it's not really what we're doing. Yeah, I'm telling you what they what their time was like But you want is Like Lonely Planet, which I'm not against go to to Lonely Planet or travel blogs, things like that. This ain't that. This is experiential. So you might glean something that you can do while you're there.

The food to get, shit like that. Doesn't apply to Somalia as much. Evil. But anyway, they're all fun, good stories. Next week, Adrienne Apolucci is on the podcast. Her new special is gonna come out, The Dark Queen. I gotta promote that. I produced it.

Louis C.K. directed it. Very, very proud about that. That's out next week. So please, set your, I don't know, DVRs, VCRs. Go to Netflix and just hit like, click to rate to you know watch later kind of shit whatever but and then when you watch it watch it all the way through and if you can't like stay just let it keep playing you can even turn the TV off let it keep playing so it goes all the way through that helps the

algorithm there. Comments help here on YouTube so leave a comment. Something about Toby's oh my god I'm so sorry. Time in Scotland, or if you've seen Dynamite Rocketship, mention something from that, the podcast and... Yeah, that's it. Again, my farewell tour. I'll just run them down. They're all available at rechapere.com. December 13th and 14th in Austin, all just these cities. Tahoe, and then January. Pittsburgh, Providence, Salt Lake City, Brea, Nashville, San Antonio Nashville San Antonio Tampa Denver into March

Schomburg Atlanta Portland San Jose Orlando Fort Lauderdale and in April and June Seattle Vancouver Calgary Edmonton June Is Alaska and then that'll be it for me Please subscribe today's episode is produced by the your mom's house network Is just or is just Your Mom's House Network? Is that what it is? Is there a network of houses by your mom? It sounds like I'm being silly right? You ever read yourself be like sarcastic and you're like I wasn't being sarcastic there? I wasn't trying to be silly. I'm legitimately wondering is it the Your Mom's House Network or is it Your Mom's House Network? Your Mom's House Network?

Or is it their accusation? Your Mom's House Network? Or Your Mom's House and then the network of those people Because you kind of I mean the listeners at the sagoras podcast would be the your mom's house network Because none of this matters you should have tuned out by now, but let's wrap it up I would like to say before I go that Tony Hinchcliffe. I'll be on kill Tony this week Doing something really disgusting. If you don't like shocking shock value comedy then I would stay away from this week's episode because I do something so shocking that actually Tony

you probably should cut that out. You should probably cut that out. It's not right or left it It's just wrong By the way Tony Hinchcliffe I should say this has got a great podcast call kill Tony you should check it out If you're there live, it's the best ones to see it'll make you laugh Tony Hinchcliffe is also a great comedian who will also make you laugh. He kills in every room he's in Occasionally his stuff gets out to other people who are looking to get angry at things and then they will get angry and that's also funny. But mostly he's just there to make you laugh. You can get angry, that's your right for sure as an American, almost your responsibility. There's three types of people in this world by the way when it comes to jokes.

There is and every joke can have a few from each side. Brian Regan said something like that once on We Might Be Drunk, that I'll be on next week with Adrian. He goes, you bomb horribly, one person laughs. You're like, well that is funny, that's one laugh. That's Brian Regan. Cling, really legendary comedian Brian Regan. If you make one person laugh, that is funny. Resulted in laughter, so great.

So, there's three types of people. People who laugh, that's generally, you know, especially when you're a stand-up comedy show. Not all of my shows, you don't always get mostly laughs. You get a lot of fucking silence, like what did that even mean? This guy is too high. This guy should stop drinking and commit to his act.

No, but you get mostly just laughs. Sometimes you get just non-laps, which is not like anger, that's just like neutral. That's neither here nor there. That's when I get political jokes especially in England I'll go to England they'll make something about the Tories or the or the there's another party and I don't know who they're talking about I don't know so I can't laugh really I'm just like you know but I can hear laughter around me so this it's funny

it's just doesn't get anything from me. So laughter, bewilderment, you know, or just non-laugh, and then anger is the third one. Anger. So you get a bunch of people laughing, and the angry ones are really interesting and kind of funny to me because you get a lot of people actually allowing themselves joy, and in that same moment, you get people so far past, I'm sorry I'm not feeling the joy they're they're just mad and and I just kind of want to reach out to them and say you need to go smell some flowers you didn't probably close your laptop because these guys are just trying to make make you laugh and it's

okay if they don't but for you to be angry I would say you might be might be dorking it up you might be too riled up by either politics or something going on in your life but we're all just trying to have a good time. You should join us. You should just try to have a good time with us. It's fun. It's fun to have a good time and it's not fun to be angry but I get it. The internet has made everybody pretty mad at each other. I think there should be regulations against Mark Zuckerberg. Like it's the people who are like pushing the negative stuff to us at a higher rate

than they push the positive stuff. So it makes people think the world is terrible. And then you go outside, everyone's kind of smiling and nice to each other. But everyone's also seeing all these monsters out there because they're on there too much. This thing that makes you full of anxiety and anger. It really makes you turn against your friends.

Now, the audience shouldn't know that because you guys are dumb, that's fine, you're not really in the day to day, you're just like, it made me mad. But you should look at your sources. You should look at if you actually just watched a comedy set and were angered by it, you might be a drunk white lady at a comedy show. Or you might have been shown something saying look how mad you should be at this and then you did get mad at it. So you fell into the trap, which I fall into too, of being angry because of the internet, which helps you be on there more, which helps them sell

ads to you more. They're using you as a product, you're turning against your friends so you can be a product to Facebook corporations, Instagram, Facebook and then YouTube as well. It's a separate corporation but they're there pushing things to make you mad and you're following it to it and I follow it to it a lot so I'm not any better than you. I'm just telling you we're all having a good time. You should join us. Until next week everybody when Adrian Apolucci probably my favorite comedian in the world comes on. I'm very very proud of a new special coming out that I helped make. Cheerio, how do you say goodbye in Scotland?

Tap Saf? No, that's how you say take your shirt off. Anyway, ciao? No, will you throw it? No, bye. Goodbye? No, I'll say it in the scowler. See?

It's funny to make fun of people.