You Be Trippin' - South Africa w/ Yannis Pappas | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

Follow Yannis on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Check out Yannis's new comedy special, Property Owner on the History Hyenas YouTube channel! https://www.youtube.com/@HistoryHyenas On this week’s episode of You Be Trippin’, Yannis and Ari head to Johannesburg, South Africa. It definitely wasn’t Yannis’s favorite destination—but he lived to tell the tale. They dive into how Joburg has been affected by apartheid 20 years after in ended, Yannis’s experience performing stand-up there, and a near-death lion encounter involving Yannis’s friend. Well, Yannis had a great time with the lions… Ted, not so much. Stick around ‘til the end to watch Yannis open Ari’s wedding present—only six years late. Anyways… Baai! You Be Trippin' Ep. 69 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:17 - History Hyenas is Back! 00:10:08 - Yannis Goes To South Africa 00:21:50 - Lion Encounter 00:35:25 - Worst of the Whites & Terrorist Attacks 00:41:51 - Other Stuff About Africa 00:50:02 - Hot South African Chicks 00:59:44 - Surprise Gift 01:11:24 - Corruption & Rich Friends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver.

That's hilarious. Well yeah, dude, I'm fucking happy you guys are back. Everybody is. Yeah, it's, first, the reception was crazy. We've posted those teasers on Instagram. People were like, what? I mean, just never stop bringing history of Haney's back. Bringing history of Haney's back.

It never stopped. Yeah, it just feels stopped, bring history of Haines back, bring history of Haines back. Yeah. It never stopped. Yeah. It just feels like, it feels like. People stopped with Cumtown. Yeah. They stopped asking for it back. Yeah, but history of Haines, they never stopped.

Yeah. They never stopped, they kept just saying, bring it back, bring it back. Yeah. Because ours, Cumtown went for a long run, whereas me and Chris stopped right at the beginning. Just ramping up, you Jim Browned it. We just, like yeah, like just right at the beginning. Just ramping up, you Jim Browned it. We just, yeah, just right at the beginning.

It's like Barry Sanders. Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? I heard he was older than we remember. I heard he was already mid-30s or 30s, where it's like, yeah. He's punch drunk a little bit. It's sad when you meet those older guys when they used to really be allowed to hit.

Damn, yeah. It's just like a little, I interviewed him for my old show, it was just like. I met Ken Griffey Jr. and, no, he was totally fine. I don't think he'd get hit by a baseball once. Yeah, he was totally fine. Hi, how you guys doing?

Lovely jacket you have on. Yeah, they're fine and they got millions and billions of dollars. Yeah. They're fine. They got millions and billions of dollars. Yeah. Hi everybody. Welcome to the UB trip. And it's a travel podcast. That sounded too serious. That's all right. No, we were talking normally for a minute and then that was like That really was a switch

Oh my god, yeah Yeah, welcome hey if you're listening to welcome in everybody travel Travel podcast and you know, been here before, you know, we just go to a different place every week. That's the voice. That's the fuckin' thought. That was it right there. That was it. But you know what, I didn't hate that energy you gave either.

Okay. Yeah, it's appealing. We welcome one of the best cats we'll ever have, Giannis Poppins. Yeah, you gotta get him excited in the first couple seconds, really. Yeah. Yeah. I do teasers now.

Anyway, the point is, Yannis is, we were just talking, history of hyenas is back. Yannis has his own long days, no, sorry. Yannis Papasauer. Used to be called Long Days. I may change it again. Oh, okay.

But it's Yannis Papasauer. What's Ryan Longs? Ryan Longs? Long Boys? No, the Boys cast. The Boys cast. Yeah, the boys. Yeah, yours was Long Days.

Mine was Long Days. That's what I was mixing up. Yeah, yeah. You stole yours was Long Days. Mine was Long Days. That's what I was mixing up. Yeah, yeah. You stole it from Ryan Long. I stole from him. I clearly had Long Days, like, we'll see what the public thinks. Yeah, we'll see, we'll do it out.

Yeah, mine was called Long Days because Chris used to call me Long Days because he would get a text from me and I would give him like a paragraph and he'd say, it's gonna be a long day. So he started calling me Yanni Long Days because I would just be ranting about something like psychotically.

And then I changed to Yannis Papasauer because long days is just hard to say. Yannis Papasauer, yeah. Yeah, Yannis Papasauer is just easier. And yeah, History Hyenas is back and it's been exciting. We got two episodes up and we got bonus stuff up at patreon.com slash history hyenas and the fans are excited and it's fun.

I'm excited, bro. I'm excited, that was just going good. Your fake New York hyenas and the fans are excited. I'm excited bro. Yeah, I'm excited That was just going good. Your fake New York Times article was the fucking tit. Oh, you remember that fake? Oh, yeah, you're a fake New York time Yeah, I mean tell me tell me the story that I know what I think of it But like we were having fun. We were just having fun and we were like, what if we wrote like a fake I think the first one was a fake New Yorker Yeah, because there were so many articles coming out about things like who's,

nobody knows this podcast, what the fuck is this? Yeah, and people, it was just like, it was that time, what was it, like five years ago, whatever, where like news was just writing about comedy all the time, and you're going like, why is everyone into like reviewing comedy? Like we're, and comedians were getting in trouble for saying things, and you know, I remember Burr had that,

it's like, you know, a joke lives in the context, and then when you read it, it's like, it sounds like a statement, like, yeah, it was that era. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where they were just making, like taking our jokes, putting them down. And you're like, oh, that sounds terrible.

It sounds terrible, it's like, yeah, it wasn't in context of irony. And so, I just had the idea, I was like, this would be funny if we just, we're such a wild podcast, I was was like what if we just got reviews from them from the highest brow that were positive. So we chose the New Yorker and New York Times and they were like I mean these are the book reviewers for the nation. Yeah yeah exactly and they were like very I remember I can't remember what they said but they were like very lofty and pretentious, they were pretentiously written you know. Yours or

all of them? No, the ones, the fake ones we did. Yeah, the two fake ones we did. So we thought it was funny. It was great. But then we took them down because, oh really? I think Burr, I think it was actually Burr who commented and he goes this is is great, man. Or he texted me and said, Hey, congrats. And I was like, Oh wait, people not knowing it's a joke. So I didn't want people to think it wasn't a joke. So we, I think we took them down from our account. Yeah. I think people were like, Oh, congratulations. I saw that right up. Cause people only read headlines. Why would you think the fucking New Yorker would ever review our podcast where

we say some of the wildest stuff. I love it, it's like fuck them. They're always, and whenever they do an interview about standup, about somebody getting in trouble, they're always like, this comedian says, I'm like, who the fuck is that? I know 290 comedians personally. Never heard of those guys.

They go to Brooklyn, find the fucking minor rooms, and they're like, I'll do the article. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a wild era. That era's long gone. I feel like the article. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a wild era. That era is long, I feel like it's over. That era was great. It was a wild era. It was really just like a.

Anything went. Yeah. I went down to fucking, I got homeless guys, like come do my podcast, all right. Yeah, yeah. It was that era, but then yeah, it was a really like, there was a microscope on comedy, and they were like really.

Oh, that era. That's the era of the cancer culture era, which I think is over. I feel like that's been over for a little while. You see people review and going, shut up. To anybody who's like, should they do this? Like beat it. This has jumped the shark a long time ago.

Yeah, yeah we get it. It just gets hacky after a while. Yeah, yeah we get it. The guy said some stuff, all right, it's fine. Yeah, it was like even Sandler had to stop going like wacky. Yeah. You know, it's like people are like, we get it. There's a bang going, ooh, what the, all right, it's been six movies.

Grow up. Yeah, you can't act like you're mildly retarded. You get if you want, buddy. Yeah. Yeah, so it's interesting, because the hyenas feels different, but it also feels the same, but it does, because we're older now

We're a little older. We all got kids and segueing. Yeah, you his Chinese goes all over the world for stories We go all over the world. So do we yeah, what do you got? Where we headed? We're gonna tell me about do it do people do like a weird thing where they going Here's my fake airplane I'm nervous. I'm even more nervous. No, no, take the long run. I don't mind taking a connect. No, that's bad too.

Oh, I got. Take over Mongolia. Yeah, we're going right down there to South Africa. Oh, wow. Yeah, South Africa. I mean, I used to tour all over Norway, Sweden, and Finland. Who, you did? I did, yeah.

I did. That was a wild time. Not many of us went there. Yeah, through Raus. That's how you know Manolis. Well, no, I know Man That was a wild time. Not many of us went there. Yeah. Oh. Through Rouse. That's how you know Manolis. No, I know Manolis through Rouse. Yeah, and that's, so why? Go ahead.

I know Manolis before that. I met him through Rouse, but Rouse was going over there, and so then I went over, and I met Finnish comedian Tommy Valamis. From there, I went to Finland, slept on his couch, did shows. Then from there, I just met other people.

And then I met Magnus Bettaner, who's a Swedish comedian, who came over to the States. I got him in a bunch of shitty rooms, and then he came and brought me to Sweden and took me on tour and we went all over. And he's like famous in Sweden, yeah. And this was a time where I had nothing. Wait, how long ago was this? This was 2008, 2009.

Nobody was going overseas yet. Nobody was going over there. Norton, maybe quick, like a quick pop-up. Pablo Francisco was the only one who was going there and he got huge, he went viral from the movie phone thing. So it got huge in Sweden for some reason. And he went over there and was just cashing in and he would just go there and go like, this summer.

I can't believe it. And they would go, ah! And they'd clap a lot over there. Romania too. They passed around tapes, it was communist, so they couldn't download anything. They passed around a Pablo Francisco tape. It's wild.

And then he was like, I'll do a show here. It sold out in like seven minutes. And they had to do like a 5,000 seater. That was like the beginning of the interview. You'd go viral and you didn't even know it. Nobody went out there though. Russell obviously. Russell was like one of the first ones inner you'd go viral and you didn't even know it nobody went out there though Russell obviously Russell was like you I just finding out now. Yeah, I went later than this

That's what they I was an eight nine Yeah, seven eight nine. Yeah, rouse must've rouse cuz rouse started going over there. I did a TV show in Denmark I what it was funny. funny, because you're just American and they're just like, he's American. But then I'd go home and go perform at a bar for like six people, which was like a mindfuck because I'd go over there and they'd pay you well and I was in Sweden and then I'd come home

and be like, just at a bar. Yeah, I had nothing going on in comedy. That's so great. But it was great, it was great. And it's, you know, you get paid. When you start doing comedy, the comedy scene's like 10 years, at this point maybe 20 years old.

In Scandinavia? In Scandinavia, so like when you start doing comedy, your first gig is like paid. Right. All those guys. Like he's a, we need you. All those guys. Yeah, you're like, you're a professional.

Yeah, you're like, we should go to America. Like why? Yeah, why would we do that? For a 15 year pay cut? I remember I'd tell them, be like yeah, we do shows for free all the time. They're like, what? Oh to America. Like, why? For a 15 year pay cut? I remember I'd tell them, yeah, we do shows for free all the time. They're like, what? I thought you were a comedian.

Yeah, the Hong Kong guys didn't understand how any of the American guys were poor. They're like, you do comedy at night. Why won't we have a job? It doesn't interfere. Do your job till six, go on at night. And we're like, I have no defense for that. I really don't know why we didn't just also work.

Well, listen, we're a little lazier than also work. Yeah, I was like, well, listen, we're a little lazier than you are. We're not. It's a cultural thing, man. It's not, you know, we don't really do the tiger mom thing here. We yell at our parents about, let us do what we wanna do.

Shut up, Alexa. Mom, you're getting in the way of my dream. Yeah. So what brought you there, South Africa? South Africa, we went to Joburg, and this was about, this had to be about 2011 or 10, 11 or 12 something like that. Okay. So I got invited by the Greeks in Johannesburg. What do you mean? So I got a character Mr. Panos that got popular

with Greeks. So Greeks would call me up and I would have to do the worst gigs, right? They're always through the church. There's always a priest there. And I would do it for, I'd just take the money and I'd just do it and I wouldn't do well. And so there's a Greek population in Johannesburg. And so they invited me to go down and do Mr. Pano's and go for like six days and they said,

hey, we'll pay you and we'll put you up and then we have activities you can do, like we'll figure out fun stuff for you to do. The guy who brought me out there was like, we'll figure out stuff to do. So I brought my buddy Jesse Scatturo, who's a producer of History Hyenas now, and my podcast, and I brought Ted Alexandro.

Oh, hell yeah. So I brought Ted Alexandro. I was just like, Ted will be great. So Ted will open, then I'll do stand up, and then Mr. Ponce will go on at the end. So we flew there, and to Johannesburg, and I hated it. Why? I hated the flight.

Oh. First off, the flight is. You flew from America or from there? I flew from America. Okay, yeah. Flew from America. Okay, yeah. I flew from America. Yeah, that's the furthest you can go. Yeah, it's 20 hours.

Look at this, this is center of the map. Yeah, and you gotta go... And the map goes on the outsides. And you gotta go over and down. So we went to, I think, Abu Dhabi. Do you go up over Iceland and like... Yeah, I don't know, but they took us to... Like we did a...

What's Abu Dhabi? Was it Abu Dhabi or, yeah, we went to Dubai or Abu Dhabi. Yeah, we went, so we flew there. Wait, which way do you go? From the- This way. Yeah, we go this way. We flew that way.

East, yeah. So that way, and I think that was 12 hours, and then it was eight down. Fuck it up. So then we went there and we spent the night there. We spent the night there, and I don't remember, I guess because our ticket was the next day or whatever, or maybe something happened with the airlines,

I don't remember. We stayed at a hotel, and then we flew down. And then just, you know, with anxiety, I didn't even like flying over those countries. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Any place where you're like, if we crash and survive, I might get eaten. Yeah, I had that feeling when we were flying over.

I was like, we're probably over Yemen right now. Now we're over Somalia. Now we're over Kenya. Now we're over Somalia. Now we're over Kenya. Now we're over Tanzania. I just didn't have a good feeling about the flight. You could land safely 200 meters away from some car in safari like oh you got lucky we're here right now and you wouldn't get to that car.

Yeah. I feel like you'd be fine. I feel like you'd go for six months to fucking Somalia and figure it out. Yeah. Oh I I'd be a war lord. Yeah, where me, I'm gonna say I'm going to Cancun and I'm going home. That's me. You got towers here. Let me show you what the Jews plan in my country. Yeah. Hey everybody, I gotta break it really quickly to tell you a little bit about Janis Papas, the guest today. He's an accomplished stand-up comedian and exciting news right now he's got a new stand-up comedy

special out on YouTube. Property Owner full stand-up comedy special by Janis Papas just released on the History Hyenas YouTube whatever you're doing right now stop this episode go over and click, should be in the description. At minimum, click on the watch it later. Property, owner by Yannis Papas, very exciting news on the number one platform for stand up comedy, YouTube.com. He's also gonna be in Bozeman, Montana in November, you can get tickets there at YannisPapasComedy.com.

But also exciting news is History of Heinous is back everybody. One of the best, most exciting podcasts in the world. Yannis Papas and Chris DiStefano every week take on a piece of history and really just fuck with it a bunch. So check it out, History of Heinous has also got the Yannis Papas hour. But the most exciting thing is,

there's a new special out right now, property owner on YouTube. Myself, I'm gonna be in Anchorage, Alaska on June 18th, and in Charlestown, West Virginia, July... I mean, I really gotta look at what these are. June 18th, Anchorage, July 12th, Charlestown, West Virginia. I mean, I really gotta look at what these are. June 18th, Anchorage, July 12th, Charlestown West Virginia. All tickets are available at rhtvere.com. Plus I got merch, if you're watching on YouTube,

down there at the bottom. Get some, support me in my drug habits. Stuff like this. Grinders. For grinding. I gotta talk in the outro. Bad times, bad times. Right now all you gotta worry about is

Yannis Pappas' brand new special property owner. Check it out right now on YouTube History Aena's. Check it out later, let's get back to the episode. So it was 20 hours to get there and then we get there and dude, Johannesburg is, it's like not great. What do you mean? It's just, it's a weird country where the poverty and the richness, like the wealth and the poverty

is so extreme. I think they have one of the biggest wealth gaps in the world, if I'm not mistaken. Really? And you just feel it. Like it just, it's weird. Like everyone lives behind security walls. When you drive, we were driving, they're like, all right, listen, they had like guns with them. And they're like a lot of car jackings happen. You see people without shoes. Where we were staying was behind security walls. Every house has security walls, just constantly up. Really? Everyone lives in like their own little fortress and.

Is it like District 9? It's crazy dude, yeah. And nobody goes downtown anymore. And it still has like a skyline and it still looks nice. Wait, do you see the poverty? You see the poverty and the poverty is disturbing. It's not like poverty here. What do you mean?

It's like no shoes. It's like no shoes, like mud, like, yeah. It's a poverty that you're just, you don't see here. Yeah, at least here when you see homeless, they're like, they're wearing like Syracuse sweatpants. Oh, did you go there? Did you find these? Yeah, yeah, they have clothes here.

They have phones, they do have phones. They have phones, they got like sneakers. Sometimes you'll see them in like $80 sneakers. They're like shoeless there. They're having burgers. They'll go get a dollar burger at McDonald's. Is he fat, homeless guys? Like what?

And they're like, well I don't eat the healthiest food. You're like, but you eat a lot of it. One burger a day wouldn't get you fat. Yeah. It's the rest. It's a totally different level of poverty. Damn, was it, I mean is it dangerous or is it scary? It's dangerous, yeah it's dangerous.

It was a constant reminder of like, when we drive we gotta be careful of carjacking. And the guy who took us to dinner and did all this stuff, he was like a soldier in whatever that was that happened. And he was telling us about stuff he did, and he's like, it's stuff that haunts me and I'm not proud of. Yeah, they just did bad things to the natives there.

Like bad murder type of stuff and torture type of stuff. And it was like, they were like in control. And there was no like, it was just bad. It was like we had that problem in America and they had that problem like 15, till 15 years ago. I heard an NPR story about this guy. He was like liberal arts major, like, but after like, uh, nine 11, you know, a lot of those fucking nerds signed up. So he was like enlisted and then he was like guarding some like whatever,

some like host, not hostage, but like some, some captive. And he was like, he was a bad guy. Just so you know, I wasn't like a maybe he was definitely a bad guy. And he goes, I had to stop all my friends from coming in and killing him. And I had to talk myself out of it. He goes, you just get this power? And you're like, they're right there.

And you're just like, I just wanna fucking, I just wanna use it. Yeah, power is not good for anybody. Anyway, so yeah. And that was just- Did they feel bad about it? Yeah, he felt bad about it. And it was kinda just like, he was in the army

and they just were doing all that segregation stuff and they were just like killing and doing bad stuff to the native populations there. What did he say about it? Did they not see him as people or was it just like enemy? Yeah, kind of stuff like that, yeah. Kind of stuff like that. I mean, he wasn't like the most progressive guy

to talk to. Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, when did it stop? It wasn't that long ago. When was it? It wasn't that long ago. It wasn't that long ago, and I was there what? So like, when did apartheid, South African apartheid,

it's just crazy to go to a country, I guess it would feel like. 1990. Yeah, it's like 1990. So I was there like. 20 years after? Like not even 20 years, yeah, well not, yeah, like 20 years after. 20 years after. Like 20 years after. Or. I a little, like 20 years after. Or, or not so.

I did a, I did a Copenhagen Comedy Festival with Bobby and then we had an Icelandic guy who now like runs that whole fucking state, country. He's been doing comedy for like eight months. Yeah, he's got a lockdown. Instantly, like I said, money. He's a millionaire, yeah. And this South African guy, he goes,

"'Oh yeah, great, free everybody, make them all voters.' "'I get that, but you have a bunch of non-readers that are voters He goes I know why the reason where none of us are proud of that But you have a bunch of illiterate people voting. So who do they vote in they fucking vote in the main good guy Yeah, right. What can what's his name? The big leader Mandela. Oh, yeah, that's a mandela. Yeah, Mandela dies Yeah, and they voted in a Zulu warrior with ten wives. I think you can cure AIDS with fucking a virgin Yeah, he goes where fuck. Yeah, and they voted in a Zulu warrior with ten wives. I think you can cure AIDS with fucking a virgin Yeah, he goes where fuck yeah, and look there's like

Mandela was like, you know said that whole thing Like we're just gonna leave the past in the past and yeah, dude But a lot of people, you know, the cops are black and people live in the suburbs are white Yeah, and it you can just feel you can cut when you go there or when I was there, you know, 20 years. Imagine being in America like in 1885. Right after. Five.

Yeah, when did slavery end? What was it, 1865, the end of the Civil War. So you're like there after the Civil War, like 1885, like in Mississippi. It just feels like that. But it's different because the blacks have the power because they have the majority and they, a democracy, they elected in all like black. So it's just, and there's this tension. You can cut it with a knife.

You can feel it wherever you go. We went to a casino. You could just feel it. Were they all like intermingled? They were all intermingled like kind of, but you can, you know, it's more blacks. It's just a black country. It's like all blacks everywhere. God, I don't see how there's any whites left there. I just wanna be, you just wanna like wear an American, that's the only time you wanna wear an American flag. You know how people used to put the Canadian flag

on their bags because everyone hated America so much, like during the Bush administration, they were like, I'm Canadian. That's when you wanna like walk around, like I got nothing to do with this. Yeah. Yeah, you just feel it and you get the looks, you get the, it's just, it's tense.

Damn. And so we did a lot of fun stuff and they took us, this is a funny story. So, and then I'll tell you about the show where I bombed, which was great. I mean I bombed, I mean they came in to see me. I mean a thousand Greeks in this theater. Ted Alexandro murders a pop.

Oh, he's Greek. No, Ted Alexandro's not even Greek. Oh Alexandro murders up top. Oh, he's Greek. No, Ted Alexandro's not even Greek. Oh, Alexandro's not? No, he's not. He's Italian. You know Ted, right? Yeah, Ted's cool. So he's up top, he's clean, kind of clean,

and he's just a great comic. Yeah, he is a great comic. And I'm like, while he was up there, I'm like, what the fuck was I thinking to bring Ted to start the show? He goes up, he murders, and then, I was just not that great a comic at that point. I just wasn't that good.

And so I go up, it was just all characters, and so I go up after him and I bomb. I just bomb in front of these people that brought me out, and then they did this intermission, and then thankfully I did the character, and the character did well. But anyway. Yeah, so what did they have you do?

Yeah, so we went to this private reserve. So they have you do? Yeah, so we went to this private reserve. So did they have these private reserves? so the private reserve is just like a rich guy who's got all this land and He just has these exotic animals and he's got like a private staff that handles them wait And there's like you a personal Safari. It's just a personal Safari what no government or nothing No, I'm not getting their money. They just lost their free labor force. They just lost their free labor. What? No government, nothing, no law. So they didn't give back any of their money, they just lost their free labor force. They just lost their free labor forces basically, yeah.

They just, yeah. And you go and you look at these, I mean, these animals. In the most intimate, dangerous ways. Yeah. So we go to this guy's private reserve. Okay. That they take us to. You have pictures and stuff?

I had, I can find them. Okay, yeah, find them and send them to me. And the story, I think I have the picture when the story gets good. Okay, okay, okay. So we go in there and at the beginning, we go in there and Ted has a phobia, and he did not tell me or Jesse about it until afterwards.

I'll just start the story saying, Ted Alexandro has a phobia of animals. He has a big phobia of dogs. He has like a phobia, like some people are scared of heights. He has a phobia, like bad. But he didn't want to tell us. There's gotta be strays everywhere there. I mean dude, there's fucking hyenas there.

There's like hyenas and fucking lions and fucking cheetahs and fuck. We don't even worry about a dog dude. There's fucking,enas and fucking lions and fucking cheetahs and fucking, we don't even worry about a dog, dude. There's fucking, we're in Africa. Yeah, the dogs have been eaten. Yeah, some of the people get eaten. Yeah, they eat people. So we're going to see like the most dangerous predators

on the planet. He's got this massive like debilitating phobia, but he didn't mention it because like he just didn't want to ruin our time, but he didn't mention it because he just didn't want to ruin our time, but he told us later that he was just freaking out like the whole thing, he couldn't sleep, he had anxiety, he didn't want to go, but he didn't want to ruin the time of us going to his private reserve.

So we go there, and this is how fucking loose they were with the regulations there. You get there and you got to sign this long contract about like, if you die, it's like your fault. You decided to come here and you're dead. There are animals here that do, can get a little upset and they can jump and kill you. So, and then you go through,

and I swear to God, you're in a Jeep. You're just in a fucking Jeep with no fence, no anything, nothing. It's like me and you in this chair and they're driving through and then they stop and they're stopping by hyenas. And most of the hyenas are sleeping and whatever, they're not doing it.

But they're like as close, they're as close as like that backpack and they're just closest to the camera. They're just right there. So if one hyena just had rabies or something or whatever, like they, or whatever, they just jump at you. What? Then we stop at this lion, this male lion.

Right there too? Dude, I'm talking. Wait, why don't they attack you? I wish. That's crazy, how do they let you do that? This is what happens, so I don't even know why. I don't even know. How do they let you do that?

I don't know. What do you mean, it's there? It's there, dude. And the seat is like we're sitting. I'm telling you. Just like open like this. Just open. I'm talking about like there's like a rail

where you put your arm and then you're just. It would be on. He can jump in in one second, he can just jump right in. And this is a private reserve. This isn't like a fucking docile zooed animal. There's a private reserve where they like, it's not like one of those things where this is like a, he's been in reserve where they like, you know, it's not like one of those things where this is like a, you know, he's been in captivity for 20 years.

He cuddles with some tiger lover or, you know, those videos of some guy who's like, bro, he doesn't have a guy who knows the lion since he was a cub and they're like friends. I love that where it's like this and the lion, I just want one of those like, ah, fuck. Yeah, and they got these like people working there, like the guy that was driving wasn't even a good driver it was nothing professional but they had no

uniforms on there were just people and so this we pull up to this lion he's about like five feet from us and they're like don't worry you and I kind of asked I was like is this cool like are we cool it's like we are and he's like no don't worry he's fine he's he goes he's used he's used to the The shape of the truck like it doesn't startle him the truck. Okay, so he was like don't worry He's just used to it doesn't startle him Well, you'd only have to be worried if like he didn't wasn't used to it, but he's used to it So we get there we look at him. He fucking the lion goes

To the point like where the driver was like, all right, this is a problem and it sped off. So that's how we started. That's how the thing started. And then they told us a story about, they just lost one of the animals because one of the lions, so they had the lions in one section,

the cheetahs, the hyenas, and they're all separated by these fences, like these fucking makeshift fences, like that you'd see at like a basketball court because they have to keep the predators separate from each other, because they'll kill each other. So the day before, or two days before we got there,

one of the lions was able to fucking rip through that fence and kill the cheetah. So they were like, yeah, it was like one of our, you know, oldest cheetahs. And it just went through. So you can imagine Ted just hearing these fucking stories. We go past this lion, this lion like does like a thing like it's gonna jump at us.

And dude, the growl of a lion. Have you heard like an angry growl of a lion in person? The animal channel just doesn't do it justice when it's 3D and it's right there and there's the threat and you see the teeth and you see the fucking psychopathy in the eyes of that type level predator. It's something that like stays with you. It's just a dead like, it's like I'm gonna eat you yeah like I have

no what do you empathy like nothing just kind of just fucking like a snake and then so we drive off after that happens because he gets nervous Ted yeah the dude driver got nervous we drive off and then we get to this part where they have we they have these two lion sections. They got the... and you can go play with the lions, right? So they have the baby lions, which are like two or three months old, and then they had like the six, seven, eighth month lions, which are like kind of... they look like size of like a big German shepherd.

Yeah. And they're not full grown yet, but they're about to be where they will kill you. So we didn't know about. Is this high to puberty yet? Yeah, they're like teenagers. Yeah. Which. That's worse.

It's bad, yeah. So me and Jesse, who were thrilled by this, it was like which one do you wanna go to? Cause we didn't know, Ted is like, Ted is probably already shit in his pants at this point. So me and Jesse go, let's not go with the two three month We want to go fucking play with the you know, 10 11 month fucking lions. So Ted comes with us He's not saying anything, but he's been quiet the whole time and after this happened now

It makes sense that why he was quiet, but at the time he's just like he's just being quiet He's just enjoying it. He was just quiet. He was just oddly quiet so he comes in with us they make a sign another thing, and then they have this yarn ball. And so you can play with the lion, but you have this big ball, like a cat, and you distract them with the thing. And so he's playing with the ball with these fucking paws.

Because they had the big paws, they just haven't grown into them yet. And they're clawing, and you see these knives, and they're clawing, and then me and Jesse would rub its belly and play with it, and we were taking pictures, and that's clawing and you see these knives and they're clawing and then me and Jesse would rub its belly and play with it and we were taking pictures and that's what we took pictures and And then and then we get on the he the guy would who worked there was like get on the ground again You can get on the ground with them and you can distract him with the ball

So we're on the ground with the Lions playing right and so Ted does it too Ted gets like on the ground He doesn't want to ruin the good time. He wants to be one of the boys so he gets on the ground. He doesn't want to ruin the good time. He wants to be one of the boys. So he gets on the ground, and I guess the lions can smell fear because they just go at him. Like three of them just start going at Ted. Like going at him. Like one jumped on him.

Like jumped on him. And then another one went and bit his foot. Started biting his foot, and then another one, another one went and bit his foot, started biting his foot, and then another one came, like three of them at the same time, and they're playing, you know, the way they play, like dogs and- Dogs play, they bite at each other. They're playing, play kill.

It's all simulating kill. They start simulating a kill on fucking Ted Alexandro, this fucking 10 month lion,andro this fucking 10 month line So three fucking ten month lines, and they're not small And I will find the picture so you can post it and and this so once there's biting his foot And then another one comes well other ones on here like jumped in another one comes here and fucking claws Yes, and then once biting his foot. He starts going out out out out out out out out out out out out out out And then he starts going ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,

and then he starts screaming in terror, like terror. I can see him trying to hold it, like, okay don't let it on, don't let it on. He's like ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, and he just, dude he had a fucking claw mark. No way. On his chest, like it was like. I mean a dog will get you.

Yeah. A puppy dog will slice you up. Yeah, this thing sliced his chest. What? It looked like Wolverine, he had a fight with Wolverine. He just what do you mean? They just let that happen They just let it happen. They just let it fucking happen. That's the type of place we were at We were at a private reserve. We're like you just signed the contract and his foot got bit I mean get fucking tiger. I mean the line bit through his sneaker what I mean Nuts and then he he tells like he's

freaking out right afterwards freaking out and then afterwards like we're laughing about it we're laughing hard because I kept laughing at the way he went out out out out and he just screamed and then he goes and then he told us he's like guys I didn't want to tell you but I have like a deep phobia of like dogs and animals. And we're like, what do you mean a phobia? And he's like, I can't even be around them. And I was like, well, why did you? Why would you go into a lion cage then?

Yeah, and he's like, I didn't wanna ruin, I didn't wanna ruin anyone's good time. And I was like, dude, dad. He made it actually. He made it good time. That's how good a guy he is. He was thinking about us over his own like death. Oh my God, how did they get up? They just stopped. They just got bored of him. So, uh, so then when that happened, the guy ran over. So they,

so Ted was like, and when I mean Ted was screaming, I mean, Ted was scared. He was being eaten by lions. At that moment he thought he was, I would have loved to have seen what you are, what you do know was being. I would have loved to have seen what you do know as the end. Yeah, he thought that was happening. Like three lions were like on him. And that's what, imagine you had that fear of animals and then that's happening.

He was like, so he was screaming like that. So the guy was like, he ran over and he pulled the lions off and distracted him and Ted got up and he was like. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, oh my God, I, I, and he like, he lifted his shirt, he's like oh my God, he lifted his shirt, he had a fucking hole in his shoe. I mean, I think I remember he was wearing like Adidas campus,

like suede and the, you know, the animal probably was like, yeah, this is, yeah, it's made out of leather. This is a little animal. Oh, it's so funny. And yeah, so Ted Alexander, almost got eaten by lions, 10 months old. What else, what else did you get into? What were the bathrooms like there?

It was, yeah, everything else is just pretty, it's like an American city, you know, where the city's kinda gotten bad, so everyone lives in the suburbs who has any bit of money. And how, those people were rich, rich? There's rich, rich that live in the suburbs. Where did you stay? We stayed in the rich rich area.

We stayed in the burbs because nobody who has any money goes to the city anymore. Don't even try. No, no, I mean I don't know if you can look it up. But the wealth disparity, the wealth disparity in Johannesburg is disturbing. I know it's one of the most. It's something that you can read on paper

and like say oh that's the wealth disparity. But then when you're there, you can really, and you can read on paper and say, oh, that's the wealth disparity. But then when you're there, you can feel it. You can feel it. South Africa is one of the most unequal cities in the world. The top 10% of South Africans own 86% of the country's wealth. While the top 0.1% own a third of it.

It's crazy. The top.01% of those, so 10% of those own 15% of all the wealth, which is more than the bottom 90%. Oh. Yeah, the typical black household in South Africa owns 5% of the wealth of a typical white household. Five, 5%. Wow.

That's 4% away from zero. 20 times their salary. It's crazy, dude. Goes to a typical white household. Yeah, and then these people were, you know, brutalized. They don't spend money, right. They were brutalized by these white people. How are there any whites left alive?

I don't even, I don't know. When Chappelle said that thing about chicks calming down because look what Africa did, South Africa did, it was like, oh oh I get it now. It's crazy. I would pull every white there. All you needed was one to start, as you can tell the rest, like, finally, let's go.

I mean, I think it's happened a little bit. I think there's been some of that that's happened and I think it's a constant. Economy doesn't generate enough jobs, okay. Yeah, I think it's a constant problem there where whites are getting attacked or whatever, and you just feel it. I'm telling you, when I went there,

it was like the only other place that I felt like the problem like that was I went to Montenegro. One of my best friends is Montenegrian, which is in the old Yugoslavia. Oh, okay. Montenegro should be... Macedonia? No. Montenegro right there. Montenegro should be. Macedonia? No, Montenegro right there.

Montenegro, right there. So yeah, it's by Serbia, right? And they're the second tallest people in the world, by the way. Montenegro. Yeah, behind like, well I think maybe. Oh sorry, maybe put an edit in there if I need it. Why, for what?

Montenegro, whatever. Oh you call it Montenegro? Yeah, you gotta really slow it down. Yeah, really slow it down. It's like where you get. Montenegro? Yeah, you got to really slow it down. Really slow it down. It's like, it's like, we get to Nag when you're in Kansas city and you want to go to the knee grow. I can't believe I got lost his job. Negro. I could see it either way. I could see him either just said it fast and it came out a little sounded wrong

or, or I can see him saying either way. He was like, what? Oh no, no. If I say Janis Poppis, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. But I'm like, I'll still continue in society with a Yanish. Right, but if you go fast on that word, you gotta really slow it down on that word. I would say guys, if you're out there listening, best not even to visit that hall of fame.

Don't even tell anyone yet. Don't tell anyone about it. Yeah, and if you do, just go, I'm going to a baseball museum. Just leave the word out. Just go and I'm going to a baseball museum. Just leave the word out. Just go and I'm going to the baseball museum. Really, I don't see race. So it's really just an old timey baseball museum.

That was one of the funniest things though, that baseball. We went over to the, yeah. He was trying to give it up for them too. He really was trying to prop them. Give them their flowers, as I gosh would say. But it's so close, that's the problem. Negro, it's so, it it's so Montenegro

Montenegro yeah so I was there in 99 when when we were bombing them when Clinton was bombing like that area and you could feel like you know at that point there's like no Americans who were going over there and it was funny because it was me and my friend Todd who I played basketball no Todd who's black and there's no blacks. This was before the internet, dude, so this is 99. So they'd never seen a black person. So everywhere we walked in Montenegro,

they were just going, Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan. And they all wanted to take pictures with him because they'd just never seen a black person. Because you wanted to test if their cameras could take both of them in one shot. Remember that, where you couldn't have a picture with your black friend? Yeah, they'd never seen a black person.

They had never seen a black person in person in their entire life, and all they knew was Michael Jordan. My aunt said in the suburbs of Munich, I mean, 40 years ago, if a GI was there and was walking, they'd come out of their homes and stare. They'd be like, what the fuck? It's like, they knew of their resistance, but to see one, it's like, whoa.

Yeah, it must've felt weird for him, because it kind of made him feel like a celebrity, but it was also kind of isolating, because you're in a country full of these big, tall Eastern Europeans, and they're just looking at you all the time. I think right next to, I had this longstanding theory that Italians are the worst of the whites. Italians are the worst of the time. I think right next to, I had this longstanding theory that Italians are the worst of the whites.

Italians are the worst of the whites. And I'll justify it as much as you need me to. No, I don't disagree. They break, they- But I would say if you were a Jew, you'd probably say, you might wanna go German. No, yeah, I understand that. Do you have a problem with that?

Small slip up. Yes. One time slip up is not their normal. Okay, you forget. It's not there all the time. Everyone makes mistakes. And it's not there now. Right, everyone makes mistakes.

Yeah, everyone makes mistakes. So they don't not there now. Right. Everyone makes mistakes. Yeah. Everyone makes mistakes. So they don't stand by that. Right. Right. Italians, they glorify sopranos and the worst of them, the most violent. They all pretend to be of the mafia.

Right. They give nothing to society except wife beating. They're just, they're not classy in any way. They smell, they value all things that society does not value. But recently, I've been made aware and I have to Albanians might be the worst of the whites I just didn't grow up with them yeah yeah okay well Greeks yeah you know there's a lot of Albanians in Greek a lot of Albanians in Greece yeah okay they work there yeah and yeah loved they're great no I don't I'm not I don't live

over there. The stereotype is they do crime there. It's a stereotype, I don't know. I love Albanians, I love Albanians. I remember when they came to New York, Albanian immigrants came to New York and everyone was just scared of Albanians. There was Albanian gangs and everyone was like,

dude don't do that, the kid's friends with Albanians. And you're like, alright I'm just fucking keeping away from this guy. Yeah, they seem like a type of like, they're like crazy whites. Lose an arm and keep going. Yeah, they're just crazy whites. Yeah, the worst of the whites. I don't, I won't say that.

No, I know you don't want to say it, but as someone who has survived black rage, I can survive Albanian rage. Yeah, you really have survived a lot of ethnic group rages. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, wow, you're right. Latino rage. Yeah. Black rage.

You've saved, yeah. You gotta, how about Germans? Why don't you go with Germans? They did stuff. You forgive them. Yeah, I forgive them. You just forgive them. Which is very Christ-like of you, which is ironic.

They moved on, here's why. Very Christ-like, you turn the other cheek. Yeah, the drugs in Germany have enriched my lives. Totally enriched my life. Yeah. I've had some of the best times I've ever had in Germany. And also now it's probably the safest place for Jews, right? You see that interview with that guy?

No. Going out, it was a man on the street, young kids interviewing people, and some old man, they're like, so any tips for life? He goes, yeah, I like to travel the day after a terrorist attack. I go to these places, and they're like, what?

He goes, listen, security's at its highest. Who's gonna do two terrorist attacks in two days. That's a good point It's you probably have the most time until a terrorist attack boy. I never thought it goes you get deals on travel stuff Nobody's there no crowds of the beaches That's it actually really good point. Yeah, I never thought about that Yeah, like September 12th was probably the best time to come to America. We'll let the dust settle, so to speak. Yeah, maybe September 13th you're going to get a really cheap ticket. My friend had an apartment down there. They go, we're paying for 70% of your rent for a year and then 50% after that.

Yeah. So he lived down there. Yeah, it was a great time to get a deal for sure. Wasn't a great time if you were in the building, but I mean, if you lived in the area, great. Great time. Great time. FEMA paid your rent. Oof. Yeah, I did that, I worked.

I did 9-11 disaster relief. Honestly. Yeah, they got their rent paid for 18 months with the Mortgage Rental Assistance Program. Yeah. Yeah. I think the whole neighborhood's been rejuvenated. There was no reason to go down there until now.

Well, Bobby Kelly, who you were just in Cuba with, he did my podcast once, and he had the funniest conspiracy theory. He said they did it just for the renovation. Wow. He was like, it was a conspiracy. They did it just because. Follow the money train.

They just didn't like the way it looked and he was just like, it was just a renovation. It's a demo. Yeah, it's just a demo. So they called it like ISIS construction and they just wanted to, just didn't look good. Okay, wait, let's go back. What else did you get into there?

We did the shit. Would you have local food? We had local foods. We, at the restaurant, so they took us to like a traditional African, so the tribes there, like the Zulu Nation is like the big tribe there. And they have like political power. And they're bigger than a tribe called Quest?

They're bigger than a tribe called Quest, which was shocking to me. Wow. They're bigger than, yeah. Wow. And're bigger than Tribe Called Quest, which was shocking to me. Wow. Yeah, they're bigger than, yeah. Wow. And you know, Tribe Called Quest was one of the biggest tribes and the only tribe that I've ever come in contact with.

Yeah, exactly. It's the only tribe I've ever known. Yeah. There are no tribes around us. No. But yeah, the Zulu. I remember the tribe, but what tribe? Yeah, and they would, at the restaurant,

they would come by with their traditional African drums and stuff and they would perform for with their traditional African drums and stuff and they would perform for you. And then you'd- That must have felt, I know they weren't slaves before, but that must have felt borderline. Exactly, the whole thing felt borderline.

We do, in the place we were staying, the maid was black and she was wearing a outfit. Like an outfit with a white, it just looked, it just was like, dude, this is like America in the 1930s or 20s, like they're behind, that's where they are, and you're just not, you don't wanna be a part of it. You're just like, I don't wanna be white here right now. Damn, it must be weird too,

cause to them they're like, this is the freest it's ever been. Yeah, they're just like, this is great, I'm getting paid. And you're like, this is so unfree. I'm like, are you all right? I actually was like, because to them, they're like, this is the freest it's ever been. Yeah, they're like, this is great. I'm getting paid. And you're like, this is so unfree. I'm like, are you all right? I actually was like, wanted to be like, you wanna, can I, you want me to get you out of here? Like, I wanted to pull her aside and be like,

you want me to, and she'd probably be like, no, it's actually like, great, I'm getting a paycheck or something. Wow, weird. Yeah, but like the outfit was weird. It bugged all three of us out, like the outfit, and just sort of, she lived there. She was like a living maid.

At a hotel. And it was like a, yeah. Or at this guy's place. No, it was like a bed and breakfast type of residential hotel, but it was like a bed and breakfast. So it was, yeah, it was like residential, in a residential area, so it didn't feel like a hotel. There's how me and Bobby stayed in Cuba.

Yeah, but she didn't feel, she was the maid, because I think it was owned by the woman, and then she rented out certain things, if I remember correctly, and yeah, she was that woman's maid. Yeah, like the owner, and we met the owner, and we would have breakfast at her house, and it was just like a, it was like a slave maid.

It was really bugged up. That's so fucking weird. And the the Zulus when they come and perform. And it's not like you can do anything about it. You can't be indignant and be like, I'm stopping this. No, no, and yeah, yeah, no. Right, no way. I did not like it. I can see other people going like, you know,

maybe I could see how it could corrupt people, like that type of wealth inequality, and people will like it, but that's not me. I was like, I don't like this. I can see how colonization would be good if you're on the colonizer side. As long as you don't let any of it in. Yeah. Yeah. That's the side you want to be on. Yeah. That's the side you really want to be on. Morally wrong. You want to be on the morally wrong side.

Yeah. You want to be on the side that's morally wrong in that situation. There's access to unlimited showers. Yeah, I mean, being morally right, what does it fucking get you? What does it get you? What does it get you? What does it get you? Like- End of the day, what do you get?

What do you get from like being in the justice and fairness? Like, what do you get? Legitimately. Yeah, you get like one moment where finally, after the bad people have been taking off for centuries, you get like, finally we passed some bill and this is over, after all this carnage and all this exploitation. But then, by then, some new thing is gonna be, and you're gonna be evil.

Wait, you ate animals? Yeah. You ate living animals? Yeah. That's the one, they're coming for everybody on that. They're coming for everybody, yeah. It might be 25 more years, but they're coming for everybody on that.

Like, no, I've been a vegetarian since I was in high school. And before high school? And before high school. And have you publicly apologized for that? Are you a vegetarian still? No, I ate meat right before you got here. Just straight salami. All right, I didn't know if you were doing first person

if it was an example. Oh yeah, yeah. No, but they're coming for me too on that. They're coming for you for a lot of other things. There'll be some things, yeah. Yeah, they are. They're coming for you for a lot of stuff. Yeah, college loans for one. Yeah.

Who's Aaron Schaeffer? Um. That would be, do you have, do you have not paid your college loans? I pay whatever I gotta pay. That's hilarious. Cut this, shut up, narc. Yeah, you know what I did?

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. That's great. You got rich and you're still fucking up here in college loans.

I just stopped unemployment, literally three years ago. You, I'm telling you, you Jews are sneaky. I'm that guy with the fucking Riddler outfit, like let me show you what money you can get. Yeah, yeah. Some of these are no interest loans. So it's like free money, yeah, yeah. Take it out of my cold dead hands.

Yeah, but you don't feel like you just wanna get rid of it to not deal with the pressure? Oh boy. You are fulfilling a Jewish stereotype right now. What pressure do you think I live under? Yeah, that's true. You don't have kids or anything like that. No.

So you welcome it. You're like, yeah, bring that fucking lunch. I'm like. When they told me SAG, the dudes didn't accrue if you were late, I was like, oh, no. I will wait until I work on another shoot and they say, hey, you haven't paid your dues in three years. You gotta pay them.

Like, no, I will pay them. Yeah. You know what, I felt a little bit of that. Sometimes you gotta do it. So I went to the hospital in San Diego, and I went to the hospital in Providence, two liberal states, and they both sent me ambulance bills, and I just live in New York.

I just take the bills and rip them up and go, what are you gonna do? My buddy used to go, he used to live here from Pittsburgh I think, and this was, this is my father's friend. So when he was in college, they'd be like, anyone got a ticket to New York, you put it on David's car.

Because they're like, David doesn't have, they have no way of finding someone from Pennsylvania. Right, right. So just put it on his car, if he has a ticket, take it off his car, put it on your car so they don't take you again. That is a great, that's a great loophole. Let's go back to Joberg.

Yeah, so yeah, we went to the Zulu restaurant and the food was like, they give it to you like on, like the bone, like it's like, they're just giving you half the animal. So you just fucking put the animal down. Did you do anything weird? Like lion or some shit? No, we ate steaks.

It was all steak. We didn't, I ate, the only weird thing I ate was in Norway, I ate whale. I ate whale. I've eaten that. Whale burger. I had a whale, like whale carpaccio. It was like raw whale.

Tasted like, it was tasted great. You feel really guilty about it. You do feel guilty, but it's not in danger there. I guess not. They're like, no, no, here it's bad. Yeah. I don't understand. Are we sure it's not in danger there?

I'm pretty sure it doesn't make sense as it's out of my mouth because isn't the world in danger? Kind of thing, yeah. But I don't know, they eat them there. Maybe they'll allow you to get a couple. It's big business over there. It's big business. Like whalers, like I have a friend from Norway

whose dad is like a whaler. We were telling those migrants that came here, we had to like, you were telling them, get out of here. Get out of here. We had to end though. There's a new sheriff in town. Run for the border. The government was doing nothing.

All the parks around my neighborhood was like, let's meet and figure out what we're gonna do. They're not gonna do shit. We gotta handle it or everyone can handle it. So they don't know about trash cans where they're from. So like someone's gotta learn fucking French or whatever the language they speak and tell them about trash cans.

Cause they just chuck. And the opposite is like, if I'm eating an orange and I'm in the woods, part of me feels bad to throw the peels. But it's like, it's biodegradable. But I still, being in the city, like, I can't do this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like in Miami.

I felt wrong to eat Norwegian whale. Yeah, I felt a little bad, but it was delicious. Yeah, it's like the same thing in Miami when everyone's from another country and that's why there's a car accident every single day because they just don't have the same like, driving laws that we have. So like, they just don't put their blinkers on,

they just go over four lanes and then there's like a fucking helicopter. When I lived in Miami, every day there was an accident on the highway that I was going to and from work, every single day. And sometimes you'd see them happening. And it's just cause some guy from Venezuela, like, ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-da.

He's just, he's. Sorry, papa. Yeah, they're just from other countries and they're different countries, driving next to other countries. And they're like, well, in my country, you could fucking drive. Dude, I was in Mazatka and turned my signal on

and a motorcycle driver came over and was like, turn your fucking blinker on. I was like, what? I wasn't even like, I thought I fucked up. Yeah, yeah. Here it's like, you got your fucking blinker on. I was like, what? I wasn't even like, I thought I fucked up. Yeah, yeah. Here it's like, you gotta put your blinker on, you gotta go, there's a speed limit here, you know, people break it, but like, we have laws.

Some countries just like, don't have laws. Like Albania! What were the chicks like in South Africa? Did you just go to Johannesburg or did you go anywhere else? Just Johannesburg, because I heard Cape Town is a totally different, everyone says Cape Town is great. I've never been to Cape Town. Honestly down there you can't say it's a different animal.

You just gotta say it's a different vibe of a city. It's a different vibe of a city. But. What's the difference between different animal, different vibe of a city? Once you bring in. You don't like animals. I'd say once you bring in any sort of ethnic people,

you just can't use that terminology. Oh right, right, right, right. Oh right, right, right. Oh right, right, right. Oh right, it was, right, right, right, right, right. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. It was a different vibe. Yeah, that's what people say. Wait, what were the chicks like?

The chicks are gorgeous. The black chicks in South Africa are gorgeous. They're just gorgeous. Nubian, they're just gorgeous. Is it like that milky black? Like that dark but smooth? Dark, black, but smooth and just like gorgeous, like really unbelievably gorgeous.

Yeah. And and the whites, not so much. No, not so much. Wow. Yeah. I like this. Right. Yeah. They're just beautiful, man. Yeah. It's just yeah. That's what you see. They're really beautiful. Damn. Look, it's just, yeah, that's what you see. They're really beautiful. Damn, look, this chick's pregnant and hot. Yeah, I mean, they're just beautiful. Really, really beautiful.

And yeah, the whites, I mean, the whites, they're all like descendants of like the most brutal Dutch settlers. Those people were so like- Yeah, they're Dutch, right? Is that what they spoke? They speak Afrikaner or, yeah people were so like. Yeah, they're Dutch, right? Yeah, they're. Is that what they spoke? They speak Afrikaner, or yeah, the Boers, I think they're called,

and those are the Dutch settlers, and they have their own language. Who was that metal group with that little weird kid they had for a while? Die Antwerp. Yeah, were they South African? They were South African. Were they Afrikaner?

They were Afrikaner, but that was the guy and the girl. Yeah. Yeah. They had that little kid with them. That probably died or something. Yeah, he had a weird disease or something like that. Yeah, I think he broke off from Kid Rock's group, joined them for a while.

No, I think it was a different disabled kid. Agree to disagree, but. Okay, but I think that kid died. Yeah, that kid died. Yeah. Is it die Antwerpp Antwerp you're talking about? Die Antwerp. Yeah, die Antwerp, yeah. Ninja!

Wait, could you hook up with Antwerp? I mean, could. I mean, it's legal. Were you matched up at that time? I don't know, maybe it's frowned upon by some people. I don't know, but. Wait, was interracial wrong there? Dude, it was apartheid. Yeah, it was like. I don't know but wait was interracial wrong there it dude. It was apartheid

Yeah, I was like 20 years later. So they hadn't there must be some freaks. You couldn't even go. Yeah You couldn't interact you think there was any like cutting-edge like you remember like stories of the Cotton Club here Well, like Batman's parents got killed where it's like some people were intermingling God for sure there must have been that there right? Maybe the arts must, maybe, yeah. The arts. Must have made it, the sex so much hotter, just like knowing that it was like, it was very illegal. Could you, were there hookers? Wait, were you with your chick then or not? At that time, I think I was with Jesse Mae Peluso.

I think we were dating. Oh, yeah. I think at that point, so that must have been 2010. I had a girlfriend there. I didn't hook up with anybody. You did not. I did not hook up with anybody, no. And we were with these Greeks the whole time.

They were showing us around, so they didn't take, they took us to a casino and they took us to restaurants. And we went to like. One of the fucking smoothest skinned people in the world and one of the hairiest people in the world. Yeah, exactly, yeah, between us, it was a normal amount of hair. I forgot you were with Jess and Mae.

Yeah, I think I was with Jess and Mae at this time. That's not a chick to cheat on, by the way. That's a cut you girl. Yeah, yeah. Especially back then, I don not a chick to cheat on by the way. That's a cut you girl. Yeah, yeah. Especially back then. I don't know if she's calmed down, but that's a cut you girl. Yeah, I mean, you know, we broke up,

so you know how much puss I passed on when I was with her? God, that sucks. You do your mental, like, ah, should've done that one. Should've done that one. It sucks more than you know. So I was with her. It sucks more than you know. I was with Jessie May from,

it sucks way more than you know. I was with Jessie May from it sucks way more than you know. I was with her. Morisa, the character Morisa took off in 2011 right? So I was with Jessie May to the whole couple first years. Yeah. We would do these shows and it was the hottest fucking Puerto Rican and Latin women that you've ever seen in your life and they were all over me. What? Taking pictures, fucking loving me and I didn't cheat on her once. Not once. Not fucking once. I was so in love with that girl. Wow. And it was. Wow. yeah they must have been all over you. It was all over me and it was for a couple of years

and it was a specific demographic that loved that character and they were the hottest chicks that you've ever seen in your fucking life. And they would hit on me in front of their boyfriends, they'd take pictures and they'd like, they'd kiss me on the cheek and stuff. Cause they're kissing a character? No, they'd take pictures with me, cause no, but they just kiss me on the cheeks. Cause they're kissing a character? No, they take pictures with me cause no,

but they just love me for the character. It was like bananas. Like when that character came out and she would come out and go, ah, and I was just with Jessie May. I'd have Jessie May. She owes you like three current blow jobs for that. Yeah, I think so. I think some retroactive ones.

Every year and a half or so. Yeah, she owes me. She fucking owes me. That's a good point. Yeah. Thank you. I hope my wife never finds this in my algorithm. Wait, hang on.

I'm trying new setups. Switch seats with me. Tell me what you think of this seat. That was the original. I'm trying these chairs now. Had them on the outside and had them there. What do you think's better? What do you mean?

What do you feel better? Because I got another one of these chairs, I got another one of those chairs. I love that chair. You like this? Yeah. This I've just put in. I think this is better. I think that's better. Yeah. Yeah. This feels, this is, this is good too though.

Yeah, I mean I've been using that every episode. This is the first time here. Why? Did anyone complain about the chairs? No, I have these and I'm like I should switch them in. Plus I can attach these to this and get rid of this shit. Yeah. Or do something, I don't know. I mean this feels feels it feels good to me. I mean they both feel good But that's a nicer chair you like this. Yeah, I think it's a nicer chair. It's a more sleek chair It looks more like a Scandinavian Airport kind of waiting area chair. Yeah, this kind of looks like you got it I went for like lounge, but are you going for like cigar lounge? Yeah

And now let me ask you a question too. Yeah. What's better? That or this? Facing, full facing each other. No, this is more like we're playing a game show. This is right. Yeah, it's a little too adversarial. Yeah, plus you want to cheat out to the people a little bit. Yeah. Bert has couch couch. So he does straight but it's two couches so you can really lie however you want. Yeah anyway I'm fucking with it. Yeah. No this is good. Yeah, but yeah South African women were absolutely incredible Well, what do you wish you had done there that you didn't do fuck the South African girl? Okay? Yeah I wish I would have fucked the South African girl. I wish I would have fucked a native South African girl And I would have fucking moved to South Africa and raised little Trevor Noah's.

You ever hear Ian Edwards been about, whatever, half and half people? The ugliest father and the ugliest mother, but if they're both different. Yeah, something about that. Yeah, he goes, you're telling me your mother is Oprah Winfrey, your father is Gollum from Lord of the Rings, you are a dime.

Something about the mix. Yeah, the mix. Because, yeah, that's something you got. Lisa Bonet. Yeah, your people just are not big on that. No, we don't mix. Neither are mine. God, and so it's kinda grody.

You gotta mix up the gene pool. Otherwise you get hot between like 16 and 28. Yeah. Is like their whole hotness level. Yeah. And then it's just done hard fast. Yeah, I mean this is like, look how close my eyes are together.

They're wrong close. Yeah, it looks like gravity's pulling them into my nose. You look like Millhouse took out his glasses. I look like a cyclops, yeah. Wow. I look like a blind stand-in for John Stam. It's, that's what you need to separate the gene pool. People need to, and it's also good for the immune system.

That's why it's great people are traveling and everything because scientists say the farther away from your gene pool that you marry, the healthier immune system the kid has. So I should have fucking fucked a black chick in South Africa, moved there, broke up with Jessie Mae. And Jess, we would have had like a big. Jessie Mae was Italian, right? Jessie Mae is like Italian and Irish that's pretty Syracuse girl

okay well that's pretty close yeah Italian and Greek yeah an Irish well that's pretty far off yeah South Africa's wild too because it's like you know it's like it's down here and it's like cool and then you go up like you just imagine like just neighboring all these countries that just, I mean, I bet you the Democratic Republic of Congo is a place that is just kind of a little, it's a little dangerous. A little dangerous.

It's a little dangerous. The ones that don't touch any, look how much cosine they have. Yeah. Just like a little, just right at the very, very edge. Just right there, right there, little strip. Is that a Nile? No.

No, the Nile dude's a dudes up wait and a white Nile Does it keep going? The blue Nile there's Nile This is the Nile River the Niles not a river in Egypt. This is where civilization and everything right here So I feel you freities and the T. This is where we all started right there. Yeah, right. I feel bad for Los Soto in the T-Rex. This is where we all started, right there. Yeah. Right there. I feel bad for Lesotho.

They're just inside South Africa. Never even heard of Lesotho. Also, can we maybe do something with that name? Yeah, change up. Change up, Niger. Yeah, can we do something with Niger? Niger. Niger.

Yeah, change that up. Change that up. We're all trying our best here, but you've got to give me a hand up. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'll go to the workout, but like, unlock the gym. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I can't believe that country is still called Niger. Yeah, that's a mistake. Yeah, it's really too close. Yeah, it's not really fun. Oh! What? Bro.

Okay, sorry. What happened? I fucking, I've been trying to fucking remember this. Seven fucking, six years, seven years? Bro? I fucking have been trying to fucking remember this for seven fucking, six years? Seven years? Bro, I've carried this. Can you believe how big Russia is? And me and Ari were both saying that we cannot believe how big Kazakhstan is.

Imagine being that big and just like not being a place anyone wants to go. Like, it's kind of a waste of land. What's this? This is your wedding present. I've been, had it for so fucking long. Are you serious?

Yeah, I've had it for so fucking long. It was like, I was gonna give it to you and then like, I didn't. This is hilarious. And then COVID. I've moved with that thing three fucking times. This should be in a museum. I mean, it's five, six years. What is it?

It's funny. So this is from that long ago or did you just do this now? No, shortly. I mean, a month or two after. I don't know, maybe right afterwards? It's funny, so this is from that long ago or did you just do this now? No, shortly, I mean a month or two after, I don't know, maybe right afterwards. Yeah, I was like, oh, I gotta get him something. Oh my God, all right, so. I don't have a full memory of what it is, to be honest. I don't have, I was just like,

every time I move, like, what is this? I'm like, I'm fucking honest. Let's see, okay, may your love be eternal. And it's nice, it's a guy. You remember me. I do remember that. I do remember that. Dear Yanis, I have very little respect for your comedy.

That's not what it says. No fucking way. I'm not that big of a fan. I've heard, let me read it, dude. No way. Some people say good things, some people say bad. I agree with the people who say bad. Oh.

I'm also not really a fan of your ethnic group or your people. I'm currently trying to think. That part might be true. Of a video that I can do that could really disparage them because I'd really like to get those diner monkeys angry at me. You know why I never did an Amazing Race about Greeks?

What? Because who gives a fuck about Greeks? That's a good point. That's a good point. What did I say? amazing races about Greeks. What? Cause who gives a fuck about Greeks. That's a good boy. That's a good boy. Um, you'll, you're never going to make it in this business and your eyes are too close together. You fat, ugly Greek slob. Uh, I only came to this wedding cause I wanted to fucking hang out with some of the other cool people here. How small did I write? You wrote very small. Yeah.

Thank God Soder and Vecchione were here. So I had someone to talk to while I went through this goddamn Greek wedding where you did your strange dances and you guys all smell. What a fun time it was. Here is a box full of fucking Axe body spray to spray you Greeks away. No, he says, I'm so happy for you guys. Thanks for letting me be a part of it. Such a beautiful night.

Love Ari on the other side. Yeah, love Ari. Yeah, I remember you had your arm was in a sling. You had a... Oh, from skiing probably. I remember Manolis sat next to, if you want, yeah. How funny was Manolis coming like he was a retarded? I mean, he's so close to being...

He's so close to being ret He's so close to retarded. So close to being like, he got nicked a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. He's pretty much on the same scale, but different than Shane. But like, Shane has the look, Manolas has the feel. Manolas has the feel. But he said-

He came in like a big Legapolskis suit. He goes to Nate. Nate was just starting to like, just starting to like, maybe just small theaters or something, I forget back then where he was. And he goes, hey, Manolis sitting here, Nate was sitting here, and Manolis goes,

hey, wait, you're Nate Bargatze? After like, you know, 30, 40, an hour sitting there. And he goes, yeah, he goes, do my friends all say you're one of the most prolific comedians working today? And Nate goes like, oh, cool, thanks. one of the most prolific comedians working today. He's rich. And Nate goes like, oh, cool, thanks. What do you do with that?

And he goes, well, I got a question for you. What's prolific mean? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Nate hated him. I thought that was the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. You know, Nate probably said Nate was prolific. I don't know. I actually don't know. Yeah, I actually don't know either, man. So, but you probably said? Nate was probably like, I don't know. I actually don't know. I actually don't know either, man. I was hoping you'd tell me.

I never do. I don't know. Minolas had white sports socks on. Oh my God. And like real thrift store, like Sperry top size. It was a black tie event. And then we took him on the bus. No, we took him on the fucking wedding party shuttle.

God, it was a black tie event. He was like, he had no way to get from the wedding to the thing. He was just like, can I come with you guys? So it was like the wedding party and Manolis. What a beautiful fucking wedding that was. And I already had my special needs brother there and then I had to watch two.

Can I open this on the pod? Yeah, I do remember what it is now. I've had it for so fucking long. You can tell the the the wrapping paper is like old. Yeah. Sorry. COVID hit and then I moved to Ecuador. That's true yeah you've been out of the countries. I mean you haven't gotten any venereal diseases from what those things you would think I might be immune yeah because you would think you would think you got something

all right so it's in an Amazon box let me get your fucking fragile I mean it's gonna be fucking great Here we go. Okay. My bad, my bad. Thank you, by the way. This is great. You're welcome.

Thanks for inviting me. What a fun time it was. We all watched a UFC one night. I remember one of the rooms. Yeah. Not one night. That night, Sal, DeStefano came to join us. Do you think this is the first time we've ever seen a UFC?

Yeah. I mean, it's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great. I know what a fun time it was. We all watched a UFC one night. I remember one of the rooms. Yeah. Not one night that night. Sal, DeStefano came to join us. Do you think this is the first time someone's got a wedding gift six years after the wedding? How long it's been six years?

On the podcast. Yeah. It was six years ago. That is, I would say outside of the proper amount of time. I think you have up to a year. Even one year is like, come on, get it there. Bring it to the wedding. I would have never even known known I would have never even remembered

I would have never known but this is nice. This is very thoughtful that you did that Welcome. Well, by the way while you're opening it, do you have any travel tips in general travel tips? Yeah Yeah, just stay away from a few countries. I Don't want to get this shit all over the place go for it doesn't matter I'm the maid here okay did you make this I sure did buddy you did yeah I made it for you guys that's really thoughtful this is like so this is like a So this is like a you went and did an arts and crafts thing yeah You actually spent time on this gift it's been a lot of time

I'm not an arts or crafts my whole art is jokes about penises wait you're one of the most fascinating fucking guys I know so let me get this straight. Yeah? Were you taking a class already, or did you take a class specifically to make us a wedding gift? I took a class and said, what am I going to do with this class? And I go, oh, I know. I'll make a gift for.

It wasn't like, I got to get him something. I'll take a class for this. But they had these classes, and it was like, oh, great. I'll do that. I'll make them a present for this. And you bubble wrapped it? Yeah, I bubble bubble I might have gotten help with the bubble wrapping you really the Titanic holy shit with the Greek flag in it oh yeah look at that dude this is beautiful look at this this is so nice it's like a

This is my favorite wedding gift. It's a serving piece. And you didn't even remember it because you could have told me you have a gift for me like over any of these years. I was gonna give it to you I kept forgetting and then I move and then it got you know how stuff gets in the back of the closet yeah and then you're like ah fuck I haven't seen that thing in a year. Holy shit. True love forever. Thank God you guys are together still. I know, right?

If you're like, are you actually even talking? Yeah, you'd have to find another friend named Yanis. And then you'd just be like, pretend you're- Yeah, I put the flag in there. Did I paint it? This is, I mean, you took time. This is actually, I think, the most special gift we got because this comes from the heart.

You made it. You put time into this. I am going to cherish this forever. You know when they say like, this was the first battle of the World War II? Yeah. Or this was the last, Turkey was the last war of World War II?

Yeah. This is the final, your wedding is officially over now. Now it's officially over. This is nuts. I love the flag in the bottom. You're Greek. Yeah, we're Greeks.

Yeah, that's amazing. That's crazy. Love Ari on the bottom. You remember that part? Well, now you know. That is, you are an interesting guy. Congratulations on your wedding, buddy. Thank you, man, thank you.

Yeah, I always really liked you so I invited you because, cause we don't hang out all the time. No, it was a last minute invite. That was kind of the first time we really hung out was at your wedding. Yeah, but we'd spent some time and I just, not too much though. No, not too much.

No, and I was just like, I really just always enjoyed you. Thanks, same. Yeah, I just think you're a great guy. Same. I mean, you know. I call him the normal people of comedy. Huh? You're like, oh, he's normal, he's normal.

Yeah, yeah. People get it, we're all cool. Yeah, just kinda, yeah. I just, yeah, I always liked you. So thank you for coming. You're welcome. And thank you for giving me a gift. It was a fun wedding, right?

It was so great. Yeah, it was, that place. What was that place called, can you tell me? It was called the Oheka Castle. It was like, it was like the Luxembourg Gardens in Paris. It has an interesting story and you should know about it because it's a very cool thing for your people. Yeah.

Yeah, you know about the history of it? No. The guy's name was Otto Kahn who owned it and he was this rich dude and he was very rich and they wouldn't let him in to the country clubs because he was Jewish. So he said, fuck you, and he built the biggest mansion on Long Island and his own fucking golf course.

And he was like, fuck. That's what we did. We were like, that sucked. Let's feel it for a day. Now let's make our own country clubs. And he was a real interesting guy who didn't give a fuck and was like, tough and like, yeah, I like hearing stuff like that.

Yeah. Yeah, so that was the history of that. It was Otto Kahn's mansion. I think that's what Gaza's all about. They just want more country clubs there. Maybe, I think that could be it, yeah. But that place is an interesting place. And yeah, Long Island, there's a lot of mafia in Long Island.

It was so weird, but getting out there was fucking great. Yeah, that place has just got a thing there. Even the hotel we had stayed at, I'm remembering this now, was pretty epic. Did you stay there at the castle? Not at the castle, there was a hotel nearby. I think we put it right up and it was like windy roads to get, maybe I'm mixing up with someone else's wedding.

Yeah, you've smoked a lot of weed in your day. Oh yeah. It's not crazy that you forgot about that. No, I'm thinking of Joliss. Yeah. It was in, who was in, I should No, I'm thinking of Joe List. Yeah. It was in, who was in, I can't believe I didn't invite Joe List. No, it wasn't Joe List.

How did I invite you and not Joe List? Right? Yeah. You knew him way longer. I bet he's laughing and going, that's what I'm saying, that's what I'm fucking saying. But he didn't invite me to his. I'm saying, I also didn't invite him.

Yeah, all right, we gotta wrap this up. I gotta go to Skanks. And you came last minute, I remember you were like, I don't know if I can all right, we gotta wrap this up. I gotta go to Skanks. And you came last minute, I remember you were like, I don't know if I can make it, but then you were like. You invited me like two weeks out, I was like, oh, hell yeah, let me try. Yeah, yeah, you did make it, it was great. You didn't have a car?

No. It was a cool weekend. It was such a fucking fun wedding. Joe Bartnik was pregame in the weekend. Bartnik got lit. He got lit up and he spilled wine on my wife's wedding dress. Yeah, when he was hugging her, he was like, ah!

You know, he's like this big fucking brooding, he was just like, ah! And he hugged her and then wine spilled on her. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Yeah. Wow. So I don't know, I mean, was the story enough? No, that was totally good. We had to cut it short.

Anything else crazy happen there? No, that was it. It was a cool vibe of it. That I wouldn't have thought of until you told me, but the fucking disparity and the bubbling rage that that I wouldn't have thought of until you told me but the fucking disparity and the bubbling rage that you described wouldn't be like Whoa every time we stopped at a stoplight there was like people There like poverty like every stoplight. There's like someone without shoes who's like begging for money or and there They always talk about carjacking Just keep it you just they just say yeah and they always talk about carjacking. It never stops. What were you supposed to do?

Just keep it. They just say, yeah, keep the locks closed and they're just like holding their guns. Cause the carjacking's come with guns? Carjacking's at stop lights and sometimes they just drive through red lights because they're scared of getting carjacked. Like someone's coming for you.

Yeah, or cars will come up, like that. And so that was another thing. Now I remember they would drive through red lights. Like in certain areas, you just drive through red now I remember they would drive through red lights like in certain areas You just drive through red lights They wouldn't stop at red lights and then all the cops and this is an unfortunate reality about that area I'm not saying this because I but they just didn't because the cops were black and they say that the cops are corrupt and so sometimes the cops will

Look the other way or participate It almost feel like the white people there now, like they have all the money and power, but they don't have a lot of the political power and all the cops are black now, there. So it's like, it's just this fucking weird place that has this history that's very recent. And all those issues are still like right on the surface

and you can't escape, it's just, that's what you experience it. You know, it's like. I wonder what changed 20 years out from end of apartheid to 35 years out from end of apartheid. I wonder what it's like now. Yeah, I wonder what it's like now. I wonder.

What do you think? I bet close to the same. I think we just read it. I think that those were recent stats. Those weren't the honest trip stats. Yeah, so think about 15 years ago, it was probably even more. Yeah, at least one black guy,

they're like, you're allowed to play the lottery now. Yeah, so think about 15 years ago, it was probably even more. Yeah, at least one black guy. You're allowed to play the lottery now. Yeah, yeah. So the city used to be all white people in the city. Now when you go to the city, all black. And no white people go to the city. The downtown area is all black. And all the white people are away in the suburbs.

The city is all black. So America's so much better. Our homeless people have taken over our mixed races. All sorts of things. Yeah, that does. You look at San Francisco, it's not like a black problem. That is like really. It's a drug problem.

We do have a diverse group. Yeah, and that's why maybe the whole DEI movement never complained about homeless people, because they're like. They were of every race. They were of every race usually. They didn't get included. Yeah, they are very DEI.

So that's good. Yeah, that happens naturally. People down in their luck, it's everybody. Anywhere else you're looking to travel to? What's on your mind that you really wanna go? I kind of am over travel. I'll never do that. I'm never doing that.

There's no place you're like, I wanna go. Even vacation-y. I wanna go to Monaco. Great. I wanna go to fucking Monaco. Where is that? Monaco is fucking. Is that its own country? Yeah, Monaco, yeah, where's Monaco? French, there's Monaco is fucking... Is that its own country? Yeah, Monaco, yeah, where's Monaco?

French... There's Monaco right there. And that's France? Yeah, France. It's France and Italy. It's like right in there. It's its own country? It's its own country. Interesting. It's a gambling country. It's a city. No, it's a city but it's like has its... Is it a city country like Singapore? It's like a city country, yeah. It's like a weird thing. Singapore's like that, right? Yeah, and it's a weird. Is it a city country like Singapore? It's like a city country, yeah. It's like a weird thing. Singapore's like that, right? Yeah, and it's just rich and boats and, you know, Tim went there.

Of course Tim went there. I was trying to think of like who would, that's a Tim place. Yeah, but I would always tell him, why don't you, you got so much money, just go live in Monaco. If I got the money, if I get a lot of money, I'm fucking just leaving my family,

I'm just going to Monaco. I'm putting on Lennon money, I'm fucking just leaving my family. I'm just going to Monaco. I'm putting on Lenin pants, and I'm just putting on one of those hats, and I'm just living in Monaco, and drinking little aperitifs. Just sipping. You get the Greek fat, just the belly fat. Just the belly here.

No shirt, thin arms, belly. Yeah, yeah, smoke a cigarette. I'm just gonna become European in Monaco. Wow. And that'll be it. Yeah, that's what Joey Diaz said after Rog become European in Monaco. Wow, that'll be it Yeah, that's what Joey Diaz said after Rogan signed his deal He goes you moved to a fucking Austin you puke you dumbass go for a fucking house in the Amalfi Coast I call it quits. Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, I mean do we stop at some point or what do we do? I don't know. Yeah at what point at what point? Yeah, what is it?

Enjoy this when you have a cane. Yeah, have you thought about it? Like how long? How long do you wanna go? Along the way. 80, 90? With work? With comedy. I'm gonna keep doing stand up

until I don't wanna do it anymore. Well, and that could be 80 or 90, right? Like George Burns. I just won't go on the road. Yeah. I'll be like, I'm just gonna stay home and do this. Yeah, the issue becomes the road. Yeah, if I had Seinfeld money,

or even I talked to Rogan about this, he's like, well I just like doing stand up. So his agents and managers are like, come on, let's go show up to this place, do a theater there, do an arena there, and he goes, but I just like doing stand up. So I don't need any money, what am I gonna make for that, $100,000?

I have 200 of those. Yeah. I don't need that. So I'd rather just do it at home. I'd rather drive into a spot than at all deal with a plane. And what do you mean? Let them come to me, I'm just doing stand up. That's the dream.

That's the dream, doing stand up every night, whenever you want, drive in, drive out. I had that exact same feeling without all the money. Do as long as you want. I was at the stand the other night and I was like, I love doing stand up. I love driving and doing stand up. Yeah. I was at the stand the other night and I was like, I love doing stand up. I love driving and doing stand up. Yeah, I don't love like traveling anymore.

And then I went, oh yeah, I don't have the money that he has. Right. So it's like, I got it. I don't even have the money that he doesn't have. You think if Rogan's ever forgot to pick up like a check of over $100,000. You ever leave a club and be like, oh, I didn't get paid.

I'm sure they'll wire it. But like, oh, I should've gotten that. I was drunk. It would be funny to go to dinner with him and him go like, all right, who's putting it? That would be funny. And you'd be like, come on! That wasn't the deal!

We had an understanding. Yeah, that would be funny if he was just like, all right, so we're splitting this four ways. Paulie used to take us out to nice places and I'm like, you guys just cover the tip. And we're like, we can't do that, Paulie! We would've gone to Subway! We would've gone to Subway! We then like, you guys just cover the tip. And we're like, we can't do that, Polly. We would've gone on a subway. We would've gone on a subway.

We did it, the tip's over 20. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But that is a pressure when you're the richest guy, right? Like everyone just kinda pretends to reach or what do you even do with Rogan? Do you like, I've only been to barbecue with him once and I didn't even, I just assumed.

I like to try to help him other ways. Money's not gonna be any effective at all, so it's like, I'll make sure to go get a coffee or something if I'm going, like, what do you guys want? One time I got him a Goldie of fucking, how long it was, hot dogs at the UFC. I was like, hey, I brought you guys hot dogs. They're like, oh, fuck yeah,

they're working for six and a half hours. Yeah, that's true, yeah. But like, money ain't it. If you go to dinner, you're not gonna be like, all right, I'll pick it up. He also doesn't get, it's like, he's smart. He's like, that doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, but just, you know, don't take advantage and then like, yeah, it's like, don't make me run in line at Starbucks. Can you, you were right there, you couldn't have got me one. Right, that makes sense. Yeah. Like little friend-favor stuff, yeah. That makes sense, yeah, money's not gonna,

offering to pay is just, he's just like, all right, put that away. It's almost embarrassing, stop. It's embarrassing. Yeah, put that little go away. Yeah Yeah, I was with Marcelo and he fucking paid for this great night out Then we went to food later and I was like, I was like, let me get there cuz you don't have to like I saw How much a bit let me get the $60? Did that to me and I insisted on paying when we went to the game. Oh yeah.

And I was like, and we actually went to a cash machine, you were like, you don't need to do this. And I just was like, I was like. It's weird, it's not taken. I was like, buddy, stop it. I was like, you just, you know, and I just did it. I was just like, I just felt like it was right because you got the tickets.

I gave you something for the tickets. Because you don't need to, it's fine. It was like I got the, I didn't pay for them, I got them. Yeah, oh you didn't even pay for them? I don't remember actually. Shouldn't I just gave you money for nothing? Where were the tickets?

They were at the hockey game? No, no, no. Dude, you, I was baseball. Oh it was baseball? Yeah, you're like, yeah. It was playoffs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

You're like a dog in the, like you have no memory. Dude, I don't know if it's long COVID or something. I can't remember anything. It might be nice that way though. Oh, it's great. I hear stories again and again and again for the first time. Do you want to get, maybe you got early onset. I hope not.

Or I think it's just weed. It's weed. How much weed do you smoke? How much weed do I smoke and how many books have I read in a decade? Two? Yeah. And all for the first question.

Yeah, but also a baseball game with me is not as memorable as probably four months in fucking Singapore. No, I paid for those. That was pre, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. Give me a hot dog. Those weren't cheap tickets.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you, I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, I fucking, yeah, I was like, let me fucking pay. But you were totally like, didn't, you were like, and then you were almost inconvenienced, you were always like, this is worse. That I had to go to like a machine and get it. I had it right here. You were just like, this is worse. That had to go to like a machine and get it.

I had it right here. You were just like, fucking. One time I saw Renazzi, after we were all in Vegas, he was at the Palms, I gotta go. And we were, what time was it? Oh yeah, it's 8.15. I gotta go. Yeah.

Shit. And Renazzi was at the Palms, we were doing UFC, and we all met up, whatever, let's all go out, Renazzi and maybe Doug Benson or something, we're all going. Got in a limo, they're like, we'll get a limo for you, Mr. Rogan. And Steve's like, I'll pay for it. And Joe's like, no, no, don't, it's fine, it's fine.

He's like, Joe, let me pay. He goes, you really don't have to. He goes, Joe, I'm in between season two and three of a sitcom that I'm a star of. Let me get it. And he goes, oh, yeah, all right, go ahead. That's cool. But he's just like, Sal's the worst.

Sal's like, oh, why'd you pay for the Starbucks? I should have paid for it Chill it's just a coffee. Yeah All right, I gotta go. Thank you. That was fucking awesome. Thank you Not want to go to South Africa. Oh, yeah people I mean go to Cape Town Yeah, if you're gonna go to South every that would be my travel tip go to Cape Town I think should keep that everybody's doing this and just going bada bada bada. Yeah, yeah. But maybe I have it wrong. No, I think so.

Okay. All right. Thank you. Well, that was the episode everybody. What a fun time in South Africa. Hey, if you really get away from the the um what's it called racism down there. The history of racism. Uh, it's a, it seems like a great place. Apartheid apartheid. Um, don't forget to check out Yannis pop is new hour property owner. It's on the history of hyena's, uh, uh, uh, YouTube channel. Also their podcast is on there. Uh, one of the funnest podcasts around you guys, I'm sure if you haven't watched it yet, you will get a kick out of it

Don't rules don't rules Anyway, that's it myself. I'm in Charlestown, West Virginia on July 12th, and I'm in Anchorage, Alaska on June 18th get tickets at our rsgfree.com. Bad news, you guys. Bad news from my friends from Queensland. Lost game one of State of Origin in Brisbane. That's a tough loss. Two years running now.

Gotta win that game, guys. No one knows what state of origin is. It's wild. I planned my entire tour around it last year in Australia. It is a north versus south rugby match, more or less. I'm simplifying this, but it's a north versus south rugby match. And it's brother versus brother.

Mate versus mate. State versus state. That's what it is. State versus state, mate versus mate. So these guys are teammates all year round and then they play a three game series, one in Brisbane, one in Sydney, and one on a neutral territory.

Melbourne's the one I went to. Nope, went to Sydney, sorry. We got yelled at, me and Nick Cody got yelled at, a bunch more Nick Cody for wearing this maroon in Sydney. Yeah, and it's crazy, they're teammates all year round and they're just punching each other in the face because they're playing for their own, it's nuts. It's what the Olympics should be, to be honest,

in basketball and stuff. There should be more fights in the Olympics. NBA players, you guys are pussies. You should be fighting each other way more. You think Giannis Atacapos, I know he's your teammate, but now he's playing for Greece and you're playing for America and you should punch him in the fucking face.

That's it, I guess today's episode was edited by Alan Caffees, produced by Your Mom's house network. I Have nothing else to add you guys that's it let's just end the episode today and get on our way next week Shit, who did I have on next week? I know this one. I know this one. I got it today That's the honest and the next one is Chris O'Connor on next week's episode of You Be Trippin' takes us to, damn, not Cuba, Denmark. Denmark, be a good one. All right guys, that's it.

Thank you all for tuning in. Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. Hit that subscribe button. Do me a favor, it'll make you feel better. That's it. See you next week everybody on You Be Trippin'. Every week, if you don't know this, you go to a different place with a different guest who's been there and just tells you about it. It's not

really much what you're supposed to do. It is pretty much just what they did. It's a travel podcast. It's not a travel guide. See you next week everybody.