You Be Trippin' - South Korea w/ Michael Malice | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Follow Michael on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/michaelmalice/ Sponsors: -Use promo code TRIPPIN at https://SheathUnderwear.com to get 20% off your order! On this episode of You Be Trippin', Michael Malice is back to tell Ari about the other side of his Korea travels. Now he's on to South Korea. Let's just say reviews weren't raving. The people...amazing! The food, fashion, museums...Michael wasn't impressed. He even got in a couple arguments with locals about their semantics. Michael gives some interesting insight on his comparison of his travels in North versus South Korea. They wrap up the episode with their thoughts on the Asian hierarchy rankings. 안녕히 가세요 You Be Trippin' Ep. 138 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:14 - Michael Goes to South Korea 00:15:31 - Not the Best Time 00:26:24 - The What? Museum 00:38:27 - Crazy Women 00:44:28 - Water Argument 00:52:17 - Asian Superiority 01:01:13 - London Insight 01:05:57 - Travel Tip & Where to Next 01:19:54 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, Trippers. Welcome to a brand new episode of UB Trippin. Today, the guest making his return is Mr. Michael Malice, author and kind of anarchist Michael Malice. Before he came on to talk about North Korea. Now, he's made his trip to South Korea. Guys, if you're new to this podcast, first, do me favor, please subscribe, wherever you're watching. Or listen to Spotify or YouTube, I think those are the only places. Do me favor, hit the subscribe button. Sometimes people are subscribed and they get unsubscribed for no real reason.

Resubscribe. It's also, if you're new to this podcast, you should know this is experiential. It's just about a person's trip to a place. We get almost every fact completely wrong, and we like it that way. It's just about how is your trip? We don't get into the history or the chief exports or anything like that. Now, if we want to do that, let's go with Michael Malice. To South Korea, the free Korea, the one where all the boy bands that are so luscious are from.

Is this going to air in like 2028 sometime? it'll be 26 yeah but yeah dude so I went traveling for a year and I'm like I gotta bank episodes

yeah I know I'm in no rush when it came out you're like what oh yeah I've had people like is my thing not coming out I was like

no it's in the line it's coming out during the next administration I wouldn't be able to hold it if it was like about the upcoming Trump election I'd be like

that's got to come out right away it can't be like you think You think Biden's going to win? You're like, oh, dated. Where you've been and where you're going? This is our East travel show, yeah. We're going to talk about travel today.

It's you'll be tripping, yeah. So cool you went to north and south, by the way. Yeah, and it went north first. Wow. Right? Yeah, get the real shit. That's exactly it. I'm not kidding.

Yeah, and then get the flavor. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be like imagining meeting Ewarks before you meet whatever Chubaka is. Well, they're both on Endor. Both Andorians, yeah. He's a wookie, you know he is. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

I forgot it. Yeah, I hold them for a long time. But whatever, it was a great one. It didn't matter. I was like, wait until I got a good run of good ones coming. I put it in there. Or I'll be like, I just had a bunch of Southeast Asia. I'm like, let me move away from that.

Is that what it is? Sometimes I'm like, I did three Middle East and a row. Like, let's mix it up. It's throw in Africa in there. but also sometimes I'll have like I've had three episodes about South Africa let's say I'm like I gotta split those up by a lot

but like let's whatever certain countries Okay sure sure That's the only North Korea one I've had And I probably ever will You don't know that I don't I'm open to it but General Un what's his name? Who's the leader?

Kim Jong Kim Jong Please come on this podcast Kim is his last name Jong's his first name Mr. Kim There you go Sounds racist

Do you know it's really racist? When I was in North Korea, instead of saying cheese, because they don't have cheese, when you're taking a picture, they say, Kim Chi, and I thought to myself, that's racist. I'm like, wait a minute, I'm here. But I swear to got my first thought was like, that's racist. They had some thing about H&M. They had these shirts. They were selling in South Africa, and it showed, or maybe a kid wearing the shirt,

and it goes, not just another monkey in the jungle. Yes. And they were like, that's so racist. And the people are like, why? Right. They're like, well, it's the monkey. Like, wait, do you think we look like mongers? We never thought that.

There was an amber crombie shirt before them. And one of them is two Chinese with the hats. Two Wong brothers, two Wongs make it white, dry cleaning. And I got the shirts there in Red Bubble now. And I've worn it. And Brian Callen wasn't too happy. Nice. His last name Wong.

Michael Malice, back on the second time. Back on you be tripping. Guys, it's a travel podcast. Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listen to. We just cover a different place people have been. This is not factually correct or incorrect. It's just experiential. I like, well, I heard this.

People are like, you're wrong. I had the worst gotcha of my life. Okay. You get it a lot. I get a lot. Everyone in the podcast, sorry to interrupt you, but this is the one this week. I'll tell the story because you of all people appreciate the joke. And then I'll tell you the gotcha.

Okay. Milton Friedman or Rose Friedman. One of mine. One of ours. One of ours is right. I got my fixed, thankfully. Had a joint autobiography called Two Lucky People. Okay.

I own every book I've ever read. I've been digitizing some of them. So the hard covers are by my door. My friends come by. You could take the book free of charge. I wanted to go to a good home instead of throwing it out. That's nice. My friend Dave picks up the book.

I go, oh, you could read about the time Rose Friedman got out. And he takes it home because she talks about it. You know, she mentions it. Unfortunately situation. She's passed now. and I'm at his house. He has a party. I bring some friends.

When my friend points out that book and he goes to him, oh, you could read about the time Rose Friedman got raped, not knowing that the friend I brought was Potry Friedman, Rose Friedman's grandson, who had a very good sense of humor about it. And he was like, wait, what? And I talked about this on my podcast, and someone tweeted at me, that never happened. Why are you spreading misinformation? And I go it's on page 276.

It's pretty graphical. And also this gotcha of why are you lying about your friend's grandma? I'm like, this is as, I mean, the joke's pretty low. But that was the guy, that was actually, I couldn't believe it. That's a crazy, like you know what? Like you know, right. Were you the guy? I was innocent.

It was like, O.J. Were you the guy? Oh, she asked. Yes. She couldn't get enough. How would you do? Oh, that's wild. Yeah, it's wild.

That's a good one. This is what we have to deal with, which is small price to pay, but it's still like the thought process there is just alien. Yeah. I would rather if people weigh in here, like you've got stuff wrong. I'm like, what? Yeah, sure. I'd love to learn.

Sure, yeah. Yeah, tell me. Yeah. You know what? I wish I was wrong. I wish that never happened to her. And to every woman. To every woman out there, I wish that never happened.

I had one need a Brodrick on my show. I said, I wish you were lying and I bet you wish you were lying. She's like, yeah, you're right. Who was that the Supreme Court thing? That Clinton back in the day. Good start. Yeah.

Well, I mean, you're the one person I can make these kind of jokes with, I feel. Whenever I have like a, okay, I'll be asking you something else before we get to South Korea. Whenever something really bad happens, I have a fucked up joke, people are always like, oh, you're trying to be R.E. Oh, nice.

What a high compliment. It is a high compliment. But I think you and I probably both grew up on Stern. I did not, but I definitely listened to him a bunch. Yeah. I wasn't an all-in stern guy. No, I was in early, like high school and stuff.

And then eventually I'm like, you're starting to lose your grip. Now it's a lost cause. That's great. Yeah, but you're right. That's what we got it from. Yeah. Like that whole like, you got to go as dark as much. Oh my God.

I can't believe you're saying this. It was fun though. Right. Yeah. Here's a good one that we did in the Yeshiva. It was, you would have one guy. He knew this guy from Skokie and he'd go, he just knew it was going to come at him.

So anybody else, like I'm just meeting it. It was like, go ask John how far as father kick a football. He's like, why? He's like, I don't ask him. And then they'd come back five minutes later. He was like, dude, what the fuck was that? He got weird.

And John would just know, occasionally people are going to ask him how far as father. And he goes, dude, what the fuck? He played it so well. What the fuck are you talking about? And he goes, I don't know how far he got your father kick a football? I was like, fuck off, dude. Fuck you. And then just like kind of walk away.

Didn't overdo it. And then you'd be like, no, I asked him. You asked him. I was joking. It's father lost his leg last year. And they go, why would you tell me to do that? I'm like, I thought you knew I was joking. I just crushed these guys' spirits.

I also love the idea that like, this can only be an upside. When someone tells me as like a high school or go ask this person a question, nothing bad can happen as a consequence. Like, oh, okay, this icebreaker. And he just ruined people's days. And he just knew he wasn't ready for it. It was like, this is a standard go out anyway. South Korea.

South Korea. The one, two. Yes. Probably same as North and South Dakota, less monuments probably. Which one has less? Probably north. Which one has the faces? North has the faces.

Okay, so South has less? So South has plenty of monuments. They've got money. South Dakota? South Korea. South Korea. Oh, good point. Good point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I feel like all these big cities have a lot of monuments to be able to look at them. Yeah. Okay, well, that was wrong. But at the same time, the North, all they have is monuments. So it's kind of like, you know, where do you invest your money? Is it in housing or isn't just building?

Concrete works. It's just concrete. Stalk sculptures have no utility whatsoever. Except just looking at them instead of having electricity, watch TV. How long after the first one did you go to the second one? It wasn't from there, was it? No, you're not allowed, of course. Probably, yeah.

So South, North was 2012. So it's been six, 14 years to make that arduous march. I- But a timestamping forced me to put this out before the end of the year. I don't know how to say this, so I'll say it as tactfully as I can. I went to Japan a year or two ago, had the best time. I didn't want to have a great time because I hate wibu culture. It made a complete believer out of me.

Like everything about it was just like, oh my God, Tokyo is amazing. I went to a couple other cities too. So I was going to go to Tokyo again. I'm like, dude, you're ready to Tokyo. Let's do the T-Moo version of Tokyo. Go to Seoul, right? there is absolutely no point to go to Seoul. Oh.

None. And I was, I had a good time. I always have a good time in a trip. It's people are cool, clean, fun to get around. It's got great energy. It has nothing on Seoul, on Tokyo. And I, every day, I was like, why am I here? And I was shot.

What is just another big city? Not even. So let me break down everything that Seoul gets wrong. Okay. Yeah. So food's great Things are affordable So that's good

So you think when I think of Seoul I think of Korea I think of K-pop Right Okay So this When a country that's small Punches above their weight

Culturally worldwide I'm impressed Like good for you guys We saw thousands of people Over the week I was there right Not one person Was in a K-pop shirt Everyone

Everyone Dresses like they're out of the gap So it's all in beige, brown, whites, blacks, maybe some stripes. You're not seeing prints. You're not seeing colors. You're not seeing a band t-shirt. Really?

You're not seeing any iconography. And it's everyone's like a background character. And I'm like, how is this literally possible? Where are the high school kids whose parents hate them who are like, why you dress anything like that? None. Yeah, with the hair like that. Something, something, anything. Because you think Japan, like they've got all the kind of crazy.

Nothing. No one. Weird. It was so bizarre. I like clothes. I'm like okay let me go to get some cool clothes stores. So my hack was I googled the best Japanese denim company a studio d'artisan. I'm like who carries it here? There was one store that had it. So it was a menswear store right there. It kind of sucked. Really? But that was it like there's no good clothing stores. Wow. There's a better right here in Austin, self-edge. I have no

answer for you. All right. So the other thing is a lot of the signs are in English, right? Okay. Why is it, but it's a podiatrist. Like, why is the podiatrist sign in English? So their, right, so no tourist is going there. Right. Yeah.

Their schick is we are going to be internationalist and globalist. So everything will be in as much English as possible. But it's like, when I was doing my work in North Korea, what I learned is a lot of their propaganda is based in reality. So they'll take something that's kind of true and twist it instead of just making shit up completely. That's what Hitler did. Put some truth in with a lot. It makes it way more believable.

That's right. Like, $6 million is believable. $600,000 is like, come on. Yeah. Or $200,000 or the actual number is. So one of the things they talk about in North Korea, because they used to say we're doing better than the South and they gave up that.

They say, we're preserving Koreanness, right? When you go to South Korea, there's no sense of Korea. Wow. So you give them a reason. Like, look what they are doing. They're not ruining it. Wow. We went to the mall, Lulu Lemon.

Like the gap. Why am I here? La Labo, why am I here? This is what I hate. So there's like every country has one or two or three, the big metropolis. Right. And there's only a few of those that are like unique to itself. Right.

Tokyo, Paris, New York. London, to some extent. Yes, but also. To some extent. It's not that much different than Sydney, you know, besides the beach, you know? Nothing. Wow. I couldn't believe it.

So how long did you say in Seoul? a week. And then just stay there. Yeah. Damn. That's crazy. What a disappointment took because you're going

to experience some new culture and you're like, what's the fucking English ever? And there's nothing weird or interesting. People love it though. I don't understand it. Do you have the Korean barbecue?

Yeah. It's good. The food's good. Yeah. There's no question. There's like many, many kinds of cuisine. All the food is excellent.

It's all affordable. Great service. Really fun. I don't need to get in a flight for 14 hours. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like one of my, so people watching this who have like social anxiety or on the spectrum,

here's my party. Most of my listeners. I know. That's why I'm speaking in the choir. No strobe lights going on two years. If you don't know how to talk to people at a party, here's my icebreaker. Go up to them and say, I've got a question for you. What country that people frequently travel to are you least interested in visiting?

It's a good thought-provoking question. What's your answer, by the way? Moscow. Yeah. That's a common answer. to Russia. The other one people say is Australia. And you know what? They say I'm not, if I'm flying for that long, they better not be speaking English when I get off the flight. Good answer. Fair, yeah. Fair. Fair. Not foreign enough. Seoul was like that.

What a good icebreaker. Isn't it a good one? By the way, I do this when I have house parties because I hate political talk when we're all trying to look at a time. Left right, doesn't matter. It's like, so I say no political talk. Yeah. Your phones away. And then I take post-it notes and I put conversation starters all over. Dogs or cats. What's the two months in a row that in with 31 days that what's the most overrated city you've heard about that'd be a good one and if you get stuck and I like oh did you hear about Biden and then you just go hold on wait wait wait wait how is what two months in a row of 31 days a good icebreaker what two two months in a row yeah but how's that an icebreaker I don't know it makes you talking no it just makes you talk

it gives you an answer and then what I don't know you're not talking about fucking I don't know Kamala where Kamala Harris went wrong yeah yeah everywhere. So I was very kind of... Wow. So what did you do all day? We walked around a lot. Something as a former New Yorker I love is walking around. It's the best. So that is really fun. Did you find weed? That's really forbidden there.

I'll tell you some more. I'm less interested now. I'm going to tell you stories. Okay. And you're going to think I'm making it up. We went to the National Museum, which is their version of the Smithsonian. I would say a majority, let's steal man. let's suppose 30% of the exhibits were pots were pots pots look at these old pots these are a little bigger than the other pots what am i looking at

here's this here's the thing during the korean war the korean peninsula was bombed to oblivion right leveled everyone suffered the amount of people killed is insane all the things left in the countryside were like chimneys because those survive fires blah blah blah now south kore has more income per capita than any other country in asia than singapore tell me that story You guys did something right. This is something the rest of the world can look at and applaud and learn from. Yeah, who are your heroes? Tell me the story of all the president's South Korea.

I'm in the National Museum. Tell me. Tell me that story. I want to know. I genuinely want to know. What's the deal with pots? They're old pots. But why would they give a fuck?

Because like, oh, this pot's 3,000 years old. This one's 4,000 years old. Right. We went to, then we went to their MoMA, the modern art. Okay. Those are always fun. This sounds like a joke. every exhibit was closed except for one what what do you think permanent collection means

there was one exhibit everything's closed what was it pot art no it was word art so it was like a painting and on the painting was written a beautiful blue lake a lovely tree get it so that shows that yeah it's it's it's that's that's that's that's that's that's well i fucking blew that good welcome guys it's time to break in and tell you a little about the I just recorded this whole fucking thing and the outro and I didn't remember to turn this on or that on. Oh, I'm a little bit angry. I'm quitting smoking.

I'm trying these fucking toothbooks. They're working actually. But everyone, anyway, Michael Malice is award-winning, I'm guessing, author and podcaster. He's the author of a book called Dear Reader, the unauthorized autobiography of Kim Jong-un.

He's also got the Anarchus Handbook. He's also on Instagram. You should reach out and let him know that you had a good time listening to this. He's got a podcast called You're Welcome that I've been on. It's a good place to start.

He's the one that I did. Ooh, it's getting a light. Let's find the light, Ari. The White Pill, A Tale of Good and Evil. That's another book. Historical look at the atrocities of communism and the Soviet Union

and the new right a journey to the fringe of American politics. 2019, exploration of the alternative political movements and internet subculture shaping modern American conservatism.

Sounds boring, Michael. Reach out to him on Instagram. Instagram.com. Michael Mouse, M-I-C-H-A-E-L-I-C-E-L-I-C-E. L-C-E-E-M-A-L-I-C-E. Yeah, it doesn't work. For myself, all I'm asking you to do is please subscribe, wherever you're watching and listening. Listen on Spotify, guys. It's the best way to do it.

It works seamlessly between audio and video. You just can't watch the video while you're driving in your car because, well, they don't want you dying. I don't mind other way, but that's their rule. If you don't mind, YouTube is good. Leave a comment. By the way, I love the comments. That's a, da, da, da, da, da, ah, ah, ban it. That's a fucking big German shepherd. Should be okay. Yeah, he's friendly. Okay, God damn, that's a big dog.

And my people should be scared of that. Anyway, thank you, Michael Miles. Please subscribe. A lot of people have gotten unsubscribe randomly, and don't love that. So, a homeless guy is looking at me. I probably should not take this toothpick. Now that it's on the ground.

You see how embarrassed I got doing these in public? But I do it for you. I do it for you. Bannett! Bannett! Come! Come! Oh, he loves smelling ass. Bannett! Enough! Yeah, please subscribe. We have every watch and listen. Leave a comment. I always get in there in the comments. I have an announcement of the end of the show about the Patreon. We're doing it.

I got all the details. End of the show, and then I'll tell you next week. But subscribe. I got Small Brain American coming next week. It's just the overall... A lot of people get unsubscribed on YouTube randomly. I don't think that happens on Spotify. By the way, I never got one of those $100 million deals. God, can I just get one? It's all right.

At least I got some coolness factor by not being a millionaire. All right, guys. Let's get back to the episode. Michael Miles, South Korea, having a bad time. Bro, that blow. So you just walked around all day? We walked around. I thought, I mean, I'll tell you, so I had my birthday there.

Nice. It was really fun. 40th. 50th. Yeah. That's a great place to do 50th. It wasn't. You want it?

Well, okay. It was great because it's a great idea to do something where you're going to remember. That's right. So I did two, I had two meals that I really wanted to remember. For lunch, I had fugu, which is puffer fish, right? It's that super toxic. The Simpsons. The Simpsons.

Yeah. That's where everybody learns about it. I love sushi. Do you like sushi? Yeah. Fugu? literally tasteless. It has no taste.

I don't mean taste bad or taste fishy. It's like there's no flavor whatsoever. So what's the benefit? Rare? I don't know. I have no further information. The waiters are very nice. And I had like four ways.

I don't know like this one's fried. This one's just sashimi. This is all bland? Not bland, favorless. Oh. So for dinner, there is a North Korean restaurant run by a defector. So I got to talk to her. It was cool. The food was boiled meat.

Because that's North Korean food? But boiled, of all the things you could do with steak, boiling it. Does she have anything to say about South Korea? She was awesome. Her name's Henri something, A-E, R-A-N-M-I or something like that. She is the first North Korean to get a doctorate in South Korea. Oh. Like Teresa May's eaten there and all sorts of people there. So she is preserving, this is kind of a joke, it's very kind of up your alley kind of humor.

She's trying to preserve North Korean cuisine because they don't have food. So the recipes are being vanished. Do you know what I mean? Because what's the point of having recipes from meat if you've never seen meat? This is kindling wood. I don't know to save these pages. So she's been doing research and preserving that. So kudos to her.

Great woman. She's a very, I read her, she gave me her book. is a very dark, you know, a story. She was in the camps and all this other stuff. But it's like... How'd you get out? I think you have to bribe your way, you know, out kind of thing. It's not fun.

Wow. The whole situation, yeah. I think God about those cultures that it is corrupt enough where you could like bypass a system. But that, I mean, I was from the Soviet Union. That was the, that's how we got out. You just bribe them. Right.

Well, yeah, because nobody has enough money. So they're like... Yeah, and if I'm a bureaucrat, I got to write my name and stamp something piece of paper and I get like a car. why am I even thinking twice? Right. Like that's what brings down these systems.

Like no one buys in, at a certain point, no one's buying into the bullshit. So everybody in China that I knew there in like Shanghai, they'd be like, if you have a general that lives in your building, your building's nice. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Of course.

And if you don't, you've got to know one. So yeah. I hear something else, South Korea. So there were like 20 different fragrance stores, different brands, which is kind of crazy. Okay. they're all in the level of like acts.

So they'll have like 30 different sense and I'm like this this is like. It all smells the same. And all smells like cheap. Yeah. Why it's a rich country. I don't under I have I don't get it. It's very rich.

They're the richest except for Singapore. Wild. Especially like when you're how at what point in are you like oh I think this sucks because day one you must still be excited and you're like all right that wasn't a good day but I'm sure we'll find some shit. I don't want to say it sucks because it's a lot. a lot better than a lot of other places. Okay.

And I don't wanna be dogging it too hard because if you go there, it's not like you're tortured, but it's more like why am I here. It's like there's more of a pointlessness to it. It would be better to be tortured. Like I'd rather have a parasite in Laos. I love having a bad time. Do you not?

Yeah, yeah. Because as you're humorist, like having a good story, like in the short term it sucks, but afterwards it's like, okay, like I'll tell the story for the rest of my life. Yeah, this last trip, somebody like put me, I was worried and people put me, I heard this quote was like, every worst time will be a great memory that you share around a campfire. And you're like, yeah.

And then when you were in those, you're like, this will be fine. As long as it's not like, we're going to get out of this, then it's like, yeah. There's this amazing quote, which just almost brings a tear to my eye, which is that, which is something like, someday it will please us to remember even this. Wow. Because when you're 80 and you had a, your trip to soul was kind of mid, you're not going to, you're going to be like, hey, remember that trip to soul? That was kind of, it's a nice memory. Yeah, right. You know, like, if the worst thing in your life is your trip is mediocre,

you're living in a paradise. Her brain the whole time. Yeah, I went to Cuba with Bobby and was like, Hurricane knocked out power in the country for three days. Holy crap. But now it's like, we had no fucking power. Then the lights came back on, everyone's partying.

Right. You forgot up in three days. You just remember the last hour. But also, I'm sure the Cubans are awesome people. They're pretty nice. Yeah. And they're also really not allowed to be rough with you. What do you mean?

Penalties are pretty harsh. Oh, sure. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, so it wasn't that much danger. Oh, I wasn't worried about that, but I mean, like, they're very friendly, smart, warm. I had two different people go, I don't blame you. And I'm like, oh, loud and clear. Thank you.

And loud and clear. Does he mean America? Is he mean Israel? Yes. Well, Israel, I'm like, we'll trade with you if we're allowed. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've gotten that too. I got a lot of free Palestinians.

I'm like, yeah, if you can do it, go for it. I'm not the guy in charge. Yeah. Also, England, you did have the power. power. So like you should have when you were there. I don't know. I don't know how you guys are playing a high horse. So what else did you get into when you were there? What's the shirt say? Show me that. This is Panman John, which is the DMZ. This is from North Korea. It's the only country of a size large. It says, nice to see you. Whenever, whenever Koreans meet you,

there's a little song they sing called Pangap Sumida, which means nice to see you. That's cool. And on the back it says Korea is one. The best part of my trip, I sent the producer some pictures. Okay. I'm not kidding. Okay, what about to say? Yeah.

The museum. Okay? Say it once more. The White Museum. Wow. They don't put it up yet. They call it the Museum of War and Women's Rights, but it's entire. What a nice spin?

But it's entirely about the women who are captured from Korea by the Japanese and used as sexual slaves during World War II. The Japanese are wild with that. This is the thing. So everyone knows about the Germans, but everyone just forgets about the insane, insane things that. That's the thing the North Koreans got right, too. They talk a lot about that,

about the wicked Jap Devils. You can't say Japanese in Japan. They'll say wicked Jap Devils all the time. That's the way to say it. That's the way to say it. And they hate America. There's like a term. That's how you say Japanese.

They hate Americans, but they hate the Japanese. Like violently. And I don't blame them. You know about Neng King? Well, of course. I just read a book. about the girl killed herself what there's a book called the Rheb of Nanking yeah I believe that's what it's called that's the that's the situation but I don't know if that was named the book

and she's the one who kind is like guys we can't forget about this and that author she later killed herself from having to live with it we it's not clear but like yeah yeah they it's a giant walled city a massive town right and the japanese overpower they would have came in and go closed doors behind us yes and it was just it wasn't just it was like it's slaughter and everything yeah they would experiment on people like they did it before the Nazis Yeah. So this museum, it's, you're going to. So what were the exhibits?

What a downer is going to be? Okay. It's a downer, but you have to do it. Yeah. Because you have to give respect to these women for what was done to them and what is, what people are pretending wasn't done to them. And I promise you, if you go, you're going to cry. Yeah.

But it'll also be, it'll be worth it because it'll remind you of the sanctity of life and how important thing is. So there were all these, I forget the term they have for them. these were women who were, I think, 13 to 19. They're told they're getting jobs. I'm going to get choked up a little bit because it was done so well. And then they're kidnapped.

They were taking these barracks. I don't know how long they were kept for. It wasn't a day. And the guys were lining up outside to run a train on them. And these were prisoners? Yes, they were Koreans. They're called comfort girls.

Yeah. It was the euphemism. Give the comfort to their military. And these whip, They have the they show the women. These are women who are now in their 80s and at first when they were coming out They were looked down on like they're dirty like why are you talking about this like it's discussed like they did something wrong So many of them are permanently still injured because the guys weren't nice with them They have all these they have one exhibit right when you walk in

It's in like clay but they put their faces in their hands so it's like they're coming out the wall So you can see kind of look at me look this is this is I'm a real person and there can now you can put up that picture can you put that one that you're just going to show there was this one woman and you know it's more interesting because the english is little broken what can you blow that up i can't see i'm blind and she i am the very evidence alive why does japan say they have no evidence yeah so the japanese like are you guys are making this up and she's like i'm i'm i'm telling you i'm telling you and look at her this is someone's grandma and there's they're like in their 80s or 70s there's some where they have pink you put a face on it it's like they're like that

is a person. And it's also an old lady. Yeah, right. And she's been living with this since the 40s or the 30s. I don't even know when. That's crazy too. They look down on them. It makes sense for society, but then it's like be a, be. Can you put up the next one of the show

the two women, the picture of the two women I shouldn't you? Jesus. What does Japan say about all this? Here you go. Look, look at the one the bottom. You've passed her in Chinatown. I've been Korean, but you've seen that lady on the street. She's doing this exercise. That's right. Yeah. Right, she with the hands. And look, can you read what the top one says?

It's just like what she 13. Born in Ha Dong, South Yonkang province in 1922, taken to a comfort station at the Korean age of 13. She was forced into Japanese military and sexual slavery in Mongolia, Hong Kong, and Singapore. Like she was shipped around. Yeah. Look at her.

God, I mean. So a lot of them, they painted with their abduction, and you could see these old ladies in their, the paintings of their productions. And the Japanese are still like saying that this happened, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it's just like you go, and you go to, the thing that's really good about this museum

is it's very matter of fact. It's not like, oh my God, it's so terrible. It's like, this happened. And then she said this. And you see it and you start losing it. And there's this amazing statue. Can you pull up the statue of peace? Yeah.

When there's like a matter of fact, like Tracy Eamon, I think? She's like, here's my cancer, whatever. Not woewing about it, but you're going to see the stamps and all this shit. Right. You have to feel it. Oh, yeah.

And there's, yeah, the statue of peace. So there's this, I think my favorite piece of public art. Yeah, do the one on the left without the hats or whatever. So they installed this statue outside the Japanese embassies. And she's a comfort girl waiting to be acknowledged. Very calmly. She's sitting there waiting. You can sit next to her and take a picture with her.

I don't think she doesn't know shoes on. There's all this symbolism having to do with, with, um, with the statue, there's a few of them around the world and all she's all she's doing is just patiently waiting for someone to come acknowledge her. Like take it? What do you mean acknowledge her? As a human?

Yeah, she's staring, she's across here from the Japanese embassy. She's staring at the Japanese saying, look at me, I'm here. Like, you have to, I'll wait. I'll wait as long as I have to. Like, you have to acknowledge me at some point and admit what you did. It's so dark, but it's so. So to me, it was just the best part of the trip because it was so moving.

Yeah. What a great piece of art. Right? And that, there was a, by the way, this is really funny. There's an American streamer named Johnny Somali. Yeah. And he went there and was like making out with her and like, and they have him in jail now. Isn't it great?

Like I hope they beat him to oblivion. So I'm like, do you even know what this is or you just think it's something like serious? It's, it's, it's so. You and I both like the dark. joke I know the joke's got a land the thing is once you feel it like I can't be funny about this right we were me and Tony we're on Rogans we're making fun of the stampede in Houston the trampling at the somebody's concert oh that happened okay I didn't know about yeah a bunch of people they tried to get through this gate a couple people fell everyone else

kept walking out this so people were looking back like stop but you're not going to stop all these people butch people died Travis Scott okay yeah and we're making jokes jokes jokes jokes me and Tony just like I whatever and then just like bring out the footage like no no no don't do that I'm making jokes and they brings up the footage we're like uh We're done. I'll tell you my best. I'll let it in. I'll tell you the best story of this.

Okay. Ariana Grande concert in UK. Okay. Bomb goes off. This was years ago. People are blown to smithereens. This sounds like a joke. It's not.

Okay. Queen Elizabeth goes to the hospital to visit the survivors. Oh, how was the concert? Did you? And it's like, well, other than the fact that my friend was blown apart. First half was. The top, no, no, no, the top half. It was fine.

It's the bottom half. That's the problem. The thing is when there's jokes don't land, like you are taking a risk. Yes, you are. Because if it doesn't land, man, it's gonna be bad. Right. I think it might land.

Right. That's what Patrice always said. Like, you gotta take the chance. And when it doesn't, you can't be like, you should never be allowed to take it. It's like, it was just a brick, dude. You put up a brick. Right.

Right. But like, you were trying to get something. What Norm would say, like, I'd love you to laugh. But in lieu of that, I'd love to feel your hate. I want you to feel something. I don't want that sole Korea time where I'm like, it was fine.

It was fine. Yeah. I didn't even know what else to say. What a crazy stature. Okay. I have an aquarium background. Okay. I went to the aquarium.

What? The first job I ever had was writing for an aquarium magazine. What? Tropical fish hobbyist, yep. When I was in high school. It's another Simpson reference. Wasn't Patty's or Selma's boyfriend? Oh, Troy McClure.

Why wasn't having sex with the fish? Yeah. Oh, my God. Dude, it's all right. There's a statute of limitations. You can share it. There's no judgment zone here. You don't want to cross a big fish.

Slimy, yeah. Get a barracuda. So, the query, like, Tokyo has, like, the biggest aquarium in the world. They've got this whole whale shark exhibit. The aquarium, oh, oh, I forgot this part. Why are this one mid? No, no, no. I got into an argument.

It got ugly. My autism flared really badly. Hi, guys. What do you think of the new setup? This is where I'm going to be recording some of my podcasts until I got a studio up and running in London. This has come with me. It's a wandering Jew plant that I got in Ecuador on the Amazon.

It's been with me to three continents, four countries. I brought it back illegally, I guess, to the United States, and then took it over to Paris, where I took it on the channel, over to London. It's thriving. It's been with me to four countries, three continents. You know what else's been with me that much?

Sheath underwear. Yeah, that's right. Rob it over at Sheath gives me underwear, and I wear the fuck out of them. Guys, I mean, I wash them in the lavendarias of Latin America. that are just like, they're like low heat. They're like, all right, we're going hot heat for sure.

On everything, every piece of clothing I had is ruined, except for those sheath underwear. They came with you everywhere. Everywhere. I'm wearing them now. There's got to be. I mean, it's the only underwear I have. I'll be honest with you.

A definitive name brand sheaf. S-H-E-T-H. Please excuse the belly. Underware. They're great, guys. And they separate, they have this pouch that separates your balls from your taint. And your balls, no, I guess you're taint, your balls still connect.

Your balls from your shaft, for sure. And it stops to fuck it and your legs. This chafing that'll happen. What I have, if you, are you long balled like me? What's up, Shalom? Then you'll know the problems with having your balls slamming and gets on a fucking 10-hour fucking hike in Guatemala. Where these are also in Denmark. Sheath underwear, guys.

I brought them everywhere. I mean, I brought him to, I brought him to at least 10 countries in South America this time. I've brought, I mean, they must have been with me for me. fucking Australia. They've been with me everywhere. Sheath underwear. S-H-E-A-T-H-H-U-W-W-Ware.com. Sheath underwear.com.

They have tons of cool fashion, tons of different styles. Their bamboo shirts are actually really good for skiing, but I'm talking about the underwear, and they're great. Use promo code tripping at checkout for 20% off your order. S-H-E-A-T-H-H-U-W-W-W-Ware.com. And get yourself a nice pair. of literal ballhuggers. Let's get back to the episode.

Can you put up a, look up a shark ray. It's also known as a guitar fish. Okay. This is a critically endangered fish. They had one on display. It's a type of ray. That's the one, the first one.

Yep. It's a type of ray that basically has a shark-shaped body. And the gender there. Yeah. Who was, like I'd say, probably 60. He's like, Stingray, Stingray. I go, no, it's a ray, but it's not a stingray. It doesn't have a stinger.

Stingray, stingray, not shark. And I was so triggered by this. He was trying to learn his one little English. I'm getting my Google translate to try to yell at him. But that was a very upsetting moment for me because not every ray's a stingray. That's so funny. He just knows the term. It's like part of this.

Like, it's not, that's such an autistic thing. He's right that it's not. shark but it's not a stingery either my brother had one of these when there was that a sniper in dc it was like they didn't know what it was at first like they're like maybe they're getting government officials maybe they're getting like they couldn't figure out a link to anybody it was like unrelated people you remember that guy yeah of course and then it was like some kid in the back yeah yeah he's like whoever you got a shot take yeah and anyway but then they were looking for this guy terrorizing the city and then some false calls would come in just mislead the cops

my brother's working with somebody and she goes i mean he's worse than the shooter and he goes, well, I mean, no, I mean, the shooter's worse than the guy. But he's taking away police time. And she goes, well, all right, fine. It's as bad as a shooter. He goes, I mean, again, I can't. No, the shooter's worse. This isn't even close.

If they both get prosecuted for what they've done, one's going to do more time than the other. One's going to do a few months and the other's going to go away forever. I actually got a big argument with this with my friend. And you know you should let it go, but you're all six, except for like, I can't. It's not a sting. There's no stingered. He's just going, Ray, sting, Ray. You're like, that's that.

Yeah. There was an old lady in Florida who hired a hitman to kill her son-in-law, right? Because they're divorced, and she wanted her daughter to have the kids, and he wasn't letting them move. It was a whole big case. Okay. She got life in jail just like the shooter. And my friend's like, well, no.

because she didn't pull the trigger. I go, yeah, but she still. She hired, she kind of pulled the trigger. If she hired the guy. If I hire you and you're an undercover cop, right? And nothing happens. I should still get charged the same as if you were a real hitman. Yeah.

It's not that you didn't accomplish it. It doesn't matter. Yeah, you're trying to get that done. Right. Yeah. You missed. Right. That's like, oh, well, you're fine.

Dude, you want a good rabbit hole is find out, like go down a black dolly a rabbit hole on YouTube. Oh, God. women hiring who they think are hit men but are actually cops and you see real they're not acting they're hiring a hitman and you see how it would go down and then the cop makes to kind of guide them to say the actual words and the casualness like when they're done like okay so we have a deal you want to get some donuts or something like they don't know how to finish that off it's so wild because i think isn't it true that when females are sociopaths is grossly underreported like men are sociopath, they people flag it.

Actually, the joke is, what's the effing her sociopath? Your ex-boyfriend doesn't pretend to care about your problems anymore. Because as soon as you break, oh, she's a sociopath, the sociopath. They were faking it before. Yeah, right. But that's a thing. Yeah, and then sometimes, I don't know why they do this, but sometimes they go, okay, we're not arresting you yet.

And they set up just like the cops outside her house, which she said the grocery store. They take the husband, like, we need you to leave. And then they are there. when she comes home and she goes, what's going on? She thinks he's dead. Right. But she doesn't know yet. Right.

And they go, we gotta talk to you. She goes, what's wrong? Tom? Tom? And then she's putting a whole act. Yeah. And then when they tell her, you wouldn't be able to tell. She said, no, no, bawling.

And then they're like, all right, can we talk to you? We need to bring you in. Does your husband have enemies? They're like, I'm going to, I'm going to have a few, but nothing like this. And then they sit her in, in like, a interrogation room. And they, like, get some coffee. I'm so sorry. It's like, they ask you.

a couple questions she was like i don't know and then and then they sent tom in and he sits down no you're kidding and she goes this dolly de bolito and she's like so it's like a you could see the steps on her face it's like anthony hopkins level acting but it's not just like you're you're not dead wait but you're here wait what am i doing here oh fuck and then she starts pleading with the guy get me out of this and he almost caves he's like i can't you they're have you on tape. She goes, I didn't do that. I saw it. She goes, you gotta get me out of here. He's like, maybe if I, no, no, I can't, but he's like, the guy being a cop? He's the husband. Oh, the other, she's pleased with the husband? The husband, get me out of this. You know I didn't

do that. I saw the footage. I saw you say, please kill him. You know that's not true. And eventually he starts like caving, but he can't get her out of it. It's also because of years of like, you know. Yeah, exactly. She's running them. Holy crap. Yeah, one of them was like, why don't you just get her divorce. The hitman says, why don't she get a divorce? She goes, that's just a hard conversation. Wait, wait, so let me get this straight. She's coming home.

Women are psychos. And the two people she thought were the hitmen were there to greet her. Is that correct? Or the cops are there to greet her? The cops are there saying, we have bad news for you. Oh, okay, okay, okay, got to. So it's different cops than the one she hired. Yeah, right, right, right.

That guy's gone. Yeah, yeah. Holy crap. Yeah, then it's like, there's a camera there. Eventually, it gets me like, dude, you're fucked. And yeah. But she's not fucked. You know why?

Why? Because this is something that the left is to get right. The power of white women tears. It goes a long way. It goes a long way. It's what South Park said. That's why like. It goes a long way.

What's his name? Jenner couldn't get out of it, but Caitlin Jenner could. It goes a long way. If you're in that jury and she's hysterical. I've caved. You've caved. All done it. Well, you know you're in the right.

All right. All right. I'll help you. You know why I haven't caved? Why? Russian upbringing. That shit doesn't work in Russia Oh right

It doesn't work Tears are normal here They don't cry When they're upset You you're gonna be crying I had a friend Who's famous I don't want to say his name

He was He's Russian engaged to a Russian girl She found out I think he was cheating or something And they were And she gives him the ring She's like fuck you And he goes

Like what that's it And he goes What do you want me to say Don't leave me baby How could you And like you know That face I've seen that face

I've seen it my mom, my grandma. It's, you don't want that. That's, they're not crying. You'd rather they'd be crying. They shut off. It's like T1, it's like the red eyes on Terminator. It's, it's no joke. Do not mess with Russian women.

Okay. I gave a talk for Peterson Academy. I've never told this story. And afterwards, they did a Q&A. Adrian Peterson, the running back? Jordan Peterson. Oh, okay. The other running back.

Okay. And there was, I'm not. not a tough person. Let me preface this by saying this. There was an American dude and he was married to a Russian girl and I think that a kid or two together and it's been deteriorating and she's been treating him like shit and he's like what do I do? Like I think we're at the point of divorce. I go, I would never say this in other circumstance. I'm not kidding what I'm about to say. I go you got to grab her by the back of neck and put her head against the wall because she basically thinks you're a pussy. She has no respect for you as a man. It's going to get worse

worse because she's challenging you to confront her and that is the only i'm not saying beat the crap out of her i'm saying but you have put your hands on her because otherwise she thinks you literally have no testicles and that's the only language you'll understand i've never russians russian women of that type right like unless you're willing to sit down and shut up she will think you're basically one step away from a pet like a complete nothing of a man and she's kind of right because the worse she gets the more he's like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry it's like what's it going to take for you to stand up for yourself you're like fuck you you're she's taking a dump on your shirt and you're like sorry my shirt's dirty

Jesus yeah it's of alien culture yeah but that's no interest in Russia that's it I just no interest I might even like oh they're spy they do this that I'm not about that I'm just like and I'm just never been drawn to this fucking culture it's it's not a fun culture yeah it's not they're not a good time Brazil ooh what a party I want to go to but dude it's great plus gays they're so well respected there. Hi guys, please subscribe wherever you're watching. What else do you eat in South Korea? Before someone's the end,

to be like, what are you looking at me for? We had, I had, oh my God, so this, I had a complete, what's that guy's name? I think you should leave. Tim Robinson. Tim Robinson. I had a Tim Robinson moment. Yeah.

We go to a sushi place. The guy speaks. I go, I go, can we have some more water for the table? And he points, he goes, there you go, I go,

that's tea. He goes, tea is water. You're like, pro. I don't want to have a semantic argument with you. I was like, what do I do? And we paid the bill afterwards. I go, okay, I need to understand

what you meant by that. And I think this is actually an argument. I looked up on the internet. This is an argument in like Korean culture versus whether certain type of tea is considered water. Oh, really? Yeah, it's a thing there.

And he's already on that side. He's on that side. He's on like that. No, I didn't ask for a Pepsi. I asked for a Coke. Right. Or he goes, it's the same shit, dude. Right.

That's funny. Yeah. Did you ever see them do that thing where they roll the, is that there? They roll the shot on their head and then fucking down it. I heard those guys go hard with booze. Koreans are known for going. When I was in North Korea, my guide,

she must have been 5-2-1-10. She was pounding. And she's up at 6 a.m. I literally don't know how they do it. Wow. I didn't see. I would, I guess they'd go out early because we were in the Brooklyn of Seoul,

whatever, the Williamsburg. And nothing Brooklyn-y about it at all. And I was expecting, because in Tokyo at night, everyone's out. Everyone's having a good time. It's so, the energy there. No one's out.

Really? I don't know. Maybe it was in the wrong area? What year was this? Which one? South Korea? July. Of this year?

Yes. Damn. So it's not like it's still early from COVID. Oh, no, no, no. I don't, maybe I'm doing something wrong. I know people watching this. I think I'm a complete tool and I did it wrong and they're probably correct. Yeah.

But like I don't understand how I could have made every wrong choice. This is one of the comments ones where it's like, if you know the place, either it's agree or like you got to go to this area. Sure. Everyone told me we should have gone to there's a beach town. I forget what it's in Seoul in South Korea okay they're like don't no no don't go to so go to so go to Boston and I'm like yeah like like telling me it's don't go New York go to Boston I know it's not like what the where the capital is of Jakarta

where like get out of there and go or in the Philippines whatever that one is Manila Manila we're like land and move okay like okay makes sense that's where the crime is yeah you don't go to DC you're not going DC in America right right yeah hey bring up you can put it on mute there's a with that singer sigh yeah Gangam style. Yeah, Gungham style. His next one was him just doing those shots. Was it really?

Yeah, and everyone just partying doing those shots. If I remember right. I don't drink though, that's the thing. So. Right. But I didn't see like a nightclub scene. Yeah. He hates Americans, by the way.

Sai hates Americans? There's the whole thing in trouble because like too many American troops are in South Korea. Gotta be on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. Really?

It was a whole big, it's on his Wikipedia. So in this Latin American trip, I saw a difference. start north and then go further south it goes from Gringos go home like your tourism dollars fucking up our economy. Wait what countries were that Mexico Guatemala? Wait Mexico didn't want Americans? Yeah they're like Romanesque all those places are like hey

it was nice when you came now this is just a white neighborhood Oh it's like because a lot of people are moving to Mexico Yeah or the tourists they know it's there it's then it was coming so like this is fucking up everything and everything costs more yeah a lot more we don't make more You're just here on vacation so it's gringos go home and then as you go for the south it's Yankees get out. Then it's like about overthrowing our governments illegally that we elected legally.

Right. Or putting in fucking dull plantations. We're like, no, you have our own guys. They're like, well, then you're dead. Yeah. Yeah. I learned a bunch of stuff. Well, Panama is a big one with that.

Yeah. Dull, evil, Coca-Cola. Fucking evil history. Oh, with the rainforest, you mean, right? Rainforest, just murdering people that might want to unionize. But also, they take the natives. lands too yeah sure yeah yeah anyway whatever there's one there where he's rolling the fucking shit in his head but that would have been a fun thing so man it's so lame when you get to a place

you're like it's just mid i feel bad dogging it because the people are chill and the city is it's safe and it's clean and it's fun right talk to the people were they cool people are super cool so that's why i feel bad like it's it's not like you're going to st louis and it's a nightmare you're going to have you're going to have a good time yeah i really want to make that clear If you go to Seoul, you're going to have a good time. My point is, there's no point in going to Seoul, we can go to Tokyo. That's all I'm saying.

I mean, it's so, yeah. It's the same distance. And everything is, if they seem to things are you cheaper in Tokyo. Really? Yes. Do they at all, were they all like, fuck the North Korea,

or would they like one Korea as well? Like, we should get them back? This is another thing that's heartbreaking. So one of the things I learned around about is that they don't care about North, like when North Koreans defect to the South, they're treated really badly, right? And they have to lose their accent

because they're looked down upon. South Korea, as North points out, is the world's suicide capital and the world plastic surgery capital. Maybe not anymore. They do this thing? They do that one. Wow.

They think about the North about as much as someone from Manhattan thinks about Alabama. So Manhattan, people in Manhattan is aware Alabama exists. When is it ever a subject conversation? Never.

And Alabama, like, these fucking New Yorkers don't know a shit. It's like, well, Really? South doesn't give a fuck about the North. They don't care at all. But the North thinks of the South, like, you guys are traitors, we need you back here. And also they, until like a couple of years ago, they would constantly talk about reunification, and they just blew up the reunification monument.

They gave up on it. Who blew it? North. Blew it up. So they're like, all right, fine, we'll move on. Yeah, we're not getting back together. They listen to Taylor Swift. What a good national song.

Can you imagine? Taylor Swift's a national anthem. I just say, I don't give you. you permission for that like we don't do permission here no no we're the ones to give you permission to ask your website if you make two bucks just think about this yeah yeah yeah so yeah wow damn yeah i wonder what like what what are you supposed to expect in south korea mountains hiking and but the thing that's really cool is a lot of uh cream barbecue there's like stores have weird names so it'd be like uh too much pizza yeah or it's like why is it called too much pizza yeah or it's like

Why is it called too much pizza? Or like villain vibe was one of the stores which that was really cool. Villain. I thought, okay, let's have cool super villain clothes. It's not. Oh. Like, what is this?

I like the idea of like what we think America is. That whole like type of like aesthetic. But that would be cool. That would be like like the Japanese do that. Japanese do. I feel like they would have a better understanding what America is and they recreate. Instead of like,

I heard about America from my grandmother who went there 20 years ago. And I'm trying to recreate. But even that, if it was like weird Brady Bunch, like, if they had like a Brady Bunch shirts, I'd be like, all right, I get into this. This is something. And they're like all wrong. It's like the Brady Bunch, but there's like Bill Clinton and like Scooby-Doo. It's like the fuck. It's a kind of weird gestalt version of it. Oh, yeah. Whenever I'm trying, I'll see a t-shirt that I'm like, this is such a crazy knock. I would be like New York Knicks now. It doesn't make sense. Champions, 1987. I'm like, no. No, no. That's wrong. Yeah. Have you ever been to Asia? Yeah. Where have you been? China was first and then Thailand and then like and then I did a whole trip like Myanmar,

Myanmar, Thailand stop, Cambodia, Indonesia, East Timor. Oh, this is something you'll appreciate. Yeah. My friend said this to me and I thought he was joking. Then I looked it up and there were articles about it. Do you know what a cargo cult is? No. Okay.

A cargo cult, this is a cool piece of trivia. There were all these islands around Japan during World War II where American troops would like use them as hot... Refuel. And they brought like produce and stuff to the natives, you know, it's a cool thing. The planes stopped coming.

So they started building air landing strips thinking that's going to make the planes come. Oh my God, it's like Amazonian gods. Right. So that was the whole thing. It's like, okay, if we build these strips, then the planes will come. It's called a cargo cult.

This is a thing. Wow. Are there like spiritual leaders? What do you mean? Do they have like a leader in charge saying like there's prayers to do to bring them? I don't know. I don't know if it was even that psychological so much as they reversed cause and effect. Where was that going with this?

Oh, so this is what I was. In South Korea, a huge bestseller was the Talmud. No. Why? Because they think. What? think what they they look up to the Jews a lot because they're a small country highly trying to be entrepreneurial they're saying the Jews got it right so if we mimic what the Jews do we're going to get

Jew gold so they had cause and effect backwards it's like Jews are successful if we put up a menorah in our house then we're going to then we're going to get that someone's that's the nasca lines where they're these giant carvings of Amazonian animals right to like they're like well the gods of those animals bring rain to those areas. Right. Maybe go those gods here and bring rain here to this desert. I had a joke in my special about how Jews are the second smartest race. What's the smartest?

Koreans. Is that right? Okay. Why the Koreans is the smartest? I don't know. Everybody I know, the Korean is the best work ethic. Well, that's not very smart, is it? I don't know.

That's not not smart. I don't know. They just like wrap their heads around stuff. Well, Excel. Yeah. So you could see what? So I went to high school, Stuyvesant in Manhattan, which was half Asia. Put that joke in there.

Like I opened up Day One's present. I was like, oh, it's skateboard wheels only. I wonder what's in tomorrow's flat oval box. It's like, you'll never guess. I'm like, it's for sure a skateboard, mom. I'm the second smartest race in the world and this is very easy to figure out as it is. Korea. The Korean kids did not talk to the Chinese kids. They looked down on them very much. They look down on the Chinese? Very much. But there's also an order. There is. But there is. But the Korean kids, but the Chinese, they look down on the Chinese kids. There is, but the point is, if you're Korean,

they want you to bring a Korean home, they don't want you to bring a white person home unless he's Jewish. Really? We're the exception. Wow. We're like leprechauns to them, especially me. Can you AI, what do Asian thinks is the order of Asians? We know this.

They all think Japanese are the best. No, they don't all think Japanese are the best. Koreans think they're better than Japanese, and now they've got the receipts, because they make more money than them. Yeah. So it's going to be Korean or the Koreans, everyone besides the Koreans think the Japanese.

Chinese hate Japanese, but if you get into like Laos, they're like, we don't care about either one. So who do we think? Who do we look up to the most? Laos thinks Japan's over China. Yes. Everyone thinks Japan's over China except. Except the Chinese. I don't know.

It might be Japan and Korea top two. No, no. They're top two. Everyone thinks Japan's number one except for Korea. And the bottom ones are all the jungle ones. But they, I think they got to hate each other. They got to hate each other. There's got to be a hierarchy there.

Like who's above the Philippines and Cambodia, they're not even. equal. Right, one's worse than the other. Yes. But the, but the white Asians, the one's Mexico and Chinese all look down on Cambodia, Laos, Philippines. Yes. It's also the paper bag test, right? What is that if you're darker than a paper bag? You didn't know about this? Like in the 20s when like black society was becoming its coming its own, they would have these like fancy clubs right to join and if you were darker than a paper bag you can join. Wow. Yeah, this is a black thing. Wow, Mediterranean. That's trouble. They're borderline. Oh yeah, yeah.

I bet honestly I bet AI's not going to give that to you. I bet they're going to give you pushback saying this is wrong to look up. Okay, Grock goes for it. Yeah. You get crowd members, they'll tell you. Well, it's not hard to figure out. It's the specifics. You can get one obviously up there, one obviously down there, but like, yeah, Laos or Cambodia?

Who's better? It's got, I would think Laos, right? Cambodia's got the temples. But Cambodia killed everyone. They were really poor. It's not who's dominated more over the years. I think it is the argument, right? Because the Japanese dominate everybody.

Yeah. So that's a big argument for Japan. Like, who do we look up to them? Oh my God. What? I forgot about this. Okay. Before I was going to Seoul, my friend who shall remain nameless, there's a lot of this word I'm about to use in this episode.

He goes, you're not going to have as much time in Seoul as you did in Tokyo. I go, why do you say it goes, who's better? Who is. And he was right? Oh, right. Oh Did the Japanese ever answer to that? What are you talking about?

Never happened. Never happened. Never happened. Never happened. Or there's a small isolated incidents. So there's rallies once a week. Like that's not official. That was a guy acting out of line.

There's once a week outside the Japanese embassy of these rallies. I think they're Tuesdays or Thursdays. People and their supporters and some of these women who are still survive, you know, get out there and chant. And it's been going on for a few years now. And they just shut the blinds? Yeah. It's like when you bring up to Obama about drug deaths. They don't.

Oh, right. Just run their bids on loud. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're making me really not want to go there at all. I don't, go back to talk. You've been to Tokyo, right? I've not.

It's high, high, high in the list. I know. Wait, what? I know. I should have gone. Wait, you're serious, right? Yeah. You have a travel podcast and I've been to Tokyo?

I know. You're right. You're right to look at me this way. The pain I'm feeling from you're looking down. I cannot explain enough as someone who's a huge scale. skeptic, how much you will enjoy yourself. Where have you lived, like in America? New York, L.A., D.C. area.

You remember New York back in the day, maybe 10, 15 years ago? Whenever you're walking around, there's that energy in the air, right? Like, I'm in the right place, and any moment I can meet someone who's cool or at a party you never want to talk to. That's Tokyo. You just get into stuff. Right. Even if it's some little sock store.

Who cares? It's something. And everyone there loves being Japanese. Not in a weird German way, but we love this country. I'm making the best of what I can. I'm working hard for it. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of my work. Let me show you what I'm producing because I put pride into my work.

And it's great. Oh, that's great. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. How Asians rate China, India, Pakistan, Japan, and the U.S. That's different. I want them to rank their own. Yeah.

Bangladesh shouldn't be on that list. Right, exactly. It should not be on the list. Malaysia's borderline, but they would count. So what is the percentage? Favorable views of. What year is this from? I'm going to find one.

That's 12 years old, too. I'll do it for the outro. I'm going to really break down this list. I'm going to get, yeah, maybe give me an AI sponsor for this. Who does it right? You ever tell AI, like, I don't think I should do it. I'm like, can you just fucking do it? Yeah, yeah.

I was in London during the World Cup. Or you could ask, Grock, what would a, racist say. What would a racist? You have to kind of, yeah, yeah, I want to, and they go, I don't know, but no, I'm trying to use this to show them how to not be racist. My friend, uh, wanted to pull pranks, like, screw up somebody goes, I'm writing a screenplay about this type of person. What good pranks could the character do? That's nice. That's nice and I'll give it to you. Yeah. During the World Cup run, it was like, I wanted to put a, I'm angering everybody here. I moved to London. Oh, cool. Yeah. When? Like seven weeks ago. Oh, shit. Why London?

Standup is there and it's different. I thought, wait, I thought there, stand up stand up as taboo there. Like, aren't you going to go to jail? Let's try it. Okay. Let's see. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. If I do, in death, I'll be more powerful than ever. I don't think that's true at all. I will be. Well, that's not saying much then. They will not be able to stop me. Do you, you could do jokes in London? Let's see.

I don't have any right now. Okay. But, dude, they get weird about even poop humor sometimes. They're so fucking proper. Do you want to? But Muslim driver jokes, Muslim female. driver jokes it's like I don't know like well I'm going there so catch up retard jokes I've gotten booed before I brought that you know I'm the one who brought that word back

retard yes thank you for your service that it's one of my greatest you photoshop some sort of like medal of honor on his head right now I done this cap yeah however you want to play it out that's my that was my big accomplishment 2024 how I was on rogan yeah and I said when you make fun of officer Harris either racist sex or abelist and rogan goes ableist they go yeah because she's a retard She's literally a tart. He lost it. He lost it.

He was like the Nazi coming. It went super wide. Thousands of comments, right? Not one person had an issue with the word. Only one, only one. Shit on Kamala. People were like, she was a senator and attorney general. How are you going to say she's dumb?

I'm like, oh my God, it's back. I brought it back. And there were articles in New York Times and like Business Insider that didn't credit me saying, how's this word back? I go, it's back because of me. It lived underground. It's like Catalan. Right.

Like you try to make it go away, but yeah, it's back now for real. Staying alive. Because everyone knows exactly what you mean by that word. No one's making fun, disabled people. It's over. It's so dope. Kids today, like they don't even arguing about it. Yes, right.

College kids are just like, yeah. Of course, yeah. Well, frats, I don't know what's their sororities. Yeah. Oh, fuck, what was I going to say? Your jokes in London. You're talking to move in London. So I was trying to piss everybody off here.

I know. I know. You haven't smoked pot in too long. They're like, so I started going like, the English team is going to win the World Cup. We're going to win. and all my America, I was like, fuck off, dude. I'm like, we're on paying taxes there. It's my team.

And I photoshopped a thing of like, we're bringing it home. It's coming home with like the world cup. And I photoshop me into it. And then I was trying to get AI to be like, okay, Photoshop me into it was three of like the stars of the team. And that me and Jeremy Saville and David Attenborough. And they go, I don't know.

Jimmy Saville. Yeah, yeah. And they go, I don't know. I'll do Attenborough, but I don't know about Jimmy Seville. And then I was like, No, no, it's cool because he was like a presenter on TV. That's all I know about him. And they're like, yeah, we're not going to do that.

I've had them do Charlie Kirk hugging the Ayatoll in heaven, and it does it. It does it, fine. It does it fine. That's it wonderful. It's weird. Sometimes the lines are not clear. The nods not clear. There's one, it's, I think pre-AI, it's just, I think somebody drew it.

It's in heaven, Kobe getting crossed over by Jesus and like going for the fake. Do you still get shit about that? Now people are like, oh, I see it's funny now. Yeah. Because the emotion's gone, so they're not riled up. But why I still don't understand why people were so, because I'm not a sports person. Yeah.

But like, it's just hard for me to be like, dude, he's a basketball player. I can explain it to you why. Sure. Because Laker fans are fias. Oh, is that one? Oh, yeah. Okay. There you go.

This is your identity. Right. It's like people make fun of Trump. It's like if this is your identity, you can't handle it. Yeah, I don't know. Right. Okay. You just made perfect sense to me.

Oh, there you go. I was overthinking it. Here it is. It's really like one-on-one stuff. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Holy fuck. They were doxing before they even knew

his daughter was on the helicopter. Oh, wow. It was all about Kobe. Yeah, yeah, of course. Anyway, it's funny. It's still funny to me. Even if it's not funny. People still think of me when they think of him.

I'm in their world now forever. You guys are we roommates in hell. Yeah, exactly. But London, but like of all places. Well, I want to go somewhere fresh. Sure. And then I need there to be like an active stand-up scene. Okay.

But I can get up like every night multiple times. There's also like Berlin, but it's just not as good. I hear Berlin's like the new Brooklyn. Is that true? Berlin rules, but the stand-up is not as good. London has a really good stand-up scene. I'm just imagining German stand-up. It's not...

I'd be here, Al-Zervik. You remember there was an old Heineken or BMW? And it was like, and not everything is as good as Germans. It's like, well, I was something super serious. And at the end, it was like, I'd be here, Al-Zer-Zer-Vik. I don't know who that was even for. It might have been Heineken. Oh, yeah.

Buddy, this is great. This is great. I do, I'll usually have two questions at the end of each one of these. One is a travel tip. Okay. It could be general or specific. Yes.

So it could be, if it was like in Seoul, never get this. I got a great travel tip. Okay. This is my travel hack. Okay. And I may have said,

I couldn't have used this in North Korean one, but I'll say it. When you go to any place, find the weird ice cream store because that's going to be in the cool neighborhood so you're going to have a cool ice cream experience everyone likes ice cream and you're going to have no right away where you should be

yeah they're not doing that in Harlem right they're doing it in Williamsburg it would have been Williamsburg and you're going to have a place to explore and walk around that's a way to bypass it's a way to bypass where's the cool neighbor because then you're telling what do you think is cool right so you go and there's going to be cool stuff around it's not going to be

ice cream in the middle of some like weird place it's going to be there's going to be the cool clothing store, the cool music store. That's a good one. Where's the weird ice cream place? Yeah. That's my travel hack. My friend Nick Yusuf, when we were on the road and he wanted to go to a cool bar back when you drank. But if you go what's a cool bar, they'd give you what

they think you thought was cool, which is always nightclub with loud music. And it's not. Right. You want the locals place. So he had this. It doesn't work anymore because mustache or something goes, where do the dudes with mustache's go? Yeah, right. And now it's where the chicks with the white eyebrows. Yeah, yeah. What neighborhood are they? Oh, yeah. You want to go there. Yeah.

Yeah, that's great. Perfect. Yes. Nice. Yes. Can you say I that? That's pretty solid. Yeah.

All right. I got a dunce cap. I made my nephew who's four wear it. Really? Yes. A dunce cap. That's a good picture. A dunce cap.

That's my new profile photo. Solid. Yes. What's the other question? Where do you want to go? You've never been. I've got a list. Okay.

And you can tell me yes or no for each of them, okay? Okay. I'll see if I got about top of my head. Sweden. Cool. Seven, you'd say? One to ten? The chicks are crazy to look at.

Okay. Like the, you know, when you're like the architecture is cool to look at. But I'm like a midget. That's going to be a problem for me with them. Dude, they're gorgeous. Yeah, but it's like fun to look at.

Yeah, but it's kind of frustrating. You have no chance with them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not, that's a strip club. I don't get it in psychology. So you'd say Sweden on scale one to ten. Yes, maybe seven. Okay.

Bartholaona? Up there, nine. Nine, okay. I've never done Paris. Yeah, nine, ten. It's still good. I heard it's a shithole now, no? Don't believe the fucking your industry.

Okay. The water gun festival in Thailand. Thailand is awesome. And it's your gateway to the east of the Southeast Asia. It's the most tourist-friendly part of Southeast Asia. So if it's like at all, any worry of like, what could I do? Burma's like, this is too dingy for you. There it is.

and he's doing the fucking thing nice guys snoops in it oh oh that's cool oh so so Thailand is is like up there Thailand rules okay Bangkok get out of there fast it's depressing wait then I'm like where am I going Chi Mai um the beaches okay um yeah the Gilly Islands the pocket but you're not going to go a full moon party but like but Chang Mai rules and it's more unique and interesting. Bangkok is okay. You're not a real degenerate. No, I'm not.

So that stuff, if you're not going to dive in, will make you depressed. Seeing a kid, I'm seeing like a 10-year-old at 3 a.m. selling Viagra to people. You're like, you should be in bed ready for school. Like, this is wrong, dirty and like, yeah. Rio. Rio's pretty fucking awesome.

Go to a soccer game. So these are all good choices I have left. Yeah. Mexico City. The best. That's top five cities in the world for me is Mexico City. I think that's... God damn, Mexico City rules.

Okay, it's close here, too. It's pretty spread out to so you need more time or just pick an area. But it's also like being as a New Yorker, I feel like I really like it because you can walk around. Yeah. Number one thing to do, bleep this because it'll already be pretty famous, but maybe not. Go to f***. What's that? Oh, yeah, okay.

The f*** with... Yeah. It, I've never had this before. There's like an exhibit. She made her clothes and her. her look like part of her art. But she built this house where she entertained other, like, communists and other writers. Trotsky's house there too.

Yeah. The house he was murdered in. The beautiful blue. She had, the bluish purple. But then you'd go, I was in the courtyard there. And my friend's like, all right, I'm going to the bathroom. And I was just like, this is going to sound so fucking gay. I was so overcome with creativity sitting in this courtyard she built.

And then I was like, they came out of the bathroom. Like, all right, we're going to this next. And I was like, I had a little notebook. I was like guys I'm gonna catch up yeah I just couldn't stop whatever she built it was like a it was like the way the the the energy pyramids yeah I was like oh my god and I just started like that shit pouring out writing yeah do that okay get a reservation for that okay that's not I think it might not be a walk-up thing and I'm doing I think that's my kind of my I'm I'm there might be more I think that's my list those are all great okay good those are all great Sweden's last on that list interesting

no no shame to Sweden good weird like Scandinavian food. I'm not a food person though. Yeah. Yeah, that's like, that's like, um,

troll culture. Yeah, not our kind. Yeah, not our kind. Somebody who appreciates a good troll. There's a few of us. They're like,

I don't give you right or left. You're just trying to anger somebody. I know. For stuff you don't really believe. It's fun. It's fun. Yeah. And like,

why do you care what I say? Yeah. You're so invested. Oh, it's so fun to see them real loud up. Do you have like people who, you must have a lot of people who you live rent free in their heads. Yeah.

It's, It's great. It's also disturbing sometimes. Yeah, like, wait, what? Are you still obsessed about that? You're still thinking about me, yeah. Made a joke about fucking Beyonce after her album came out,

which her album's all about how Jay Z cheated on her. And I were just like, listen, I don't know. I think Beyonce's awesome. But I was just like, well, you're older now. Oh. And it was like, and you've had kids. I don't know. Something like that.

And, I mean, there's still comedians. You were like, I'll never fucking forgive you for this. Forgive. Forgive. Yeah. Forgive. What are you going to. You know what's great?

I'm like, I don't know. I do things is great. Why would you say that? I'm like, because of this. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Yeah, it's fun. But it's,

it's, it's, is the one thing if they're like, I get where you're going and I don't like it, but like I don't even get where you're going, it's like you're a comic. Yeah,

you're a comic. I've had to pull back even like, right wing guys that are like, why can't people take a joke? And they're like, look what they posted. I'm like, guys, your first thing should be there.

I'm probably joking. If they're a comic, you got to give them the benefit of the day. I was on Fox. the day after Charlie Kirk was killed. Okay. I was in Guatemala at a bar. No one who thought it was you.

You don't have to give you alibi. Actually, I did think it was you. And Greg knew him quite well. Godfell does his monologue. Then the first person talks, and it's on me. And I said, when you guys booked me for today, which was September 11th, I said, I had a bunch of trade center jokes,

but now they seem in bad taste. and the audience laughed. So I knew I was safe. And I said, congratulations Charlie, he'll be voting Democrat for the rest of his life. They like that one.

The one I didn't say was, it's a good thing, RFK's in here to see the Cade assassinations. So that was one, it's fine. Do you regret not saying it? No, I don't, it's not that funny. And I said,

according to Dr. Jill Biden, in her professional medical opinion, Charlie's fine. So that's fine. So I got them to laugh. Yeah. But it's just... The face of pain is such a good laugh.

It's such a great laugh. Joan Rivers said, I think she was quoting Churchill, that when you make people laugh, you give them a vacation from reality. Lucy Davis, I think's her name is. She played Dawn on the British version of the office. Okay. She just announced, maybe you should reach out to her.

I'm not kidding. She just announced she has inoperable cancer. It's spread. Ooh. And she said, I asked my friends and family to make fun of me as much as possible, which they're good at. I don't want to be treated like a sick person.

I don't have much time left. I want to laugh. And I've had an imagineer conversation with her this all week because she's given people so much joy and it's really important for her, for me, for me that she knows that you made the world a better place and that's all any of us can do, right? And if I'm fucking dying from cancer,

I don't want you to be moping around me. I want you to be roasting me. And Kathleen McGee died and she was like, don't know, it's fine, I'm totally fine with it. It's okay. How you doing? Right. Yeah, she didn't want any of that.

How does that help me? Yeah. But people don't think of those terms. Yeah. when you get somebody in a wheelchair and stage and you go out, who the fuck's yell? And you see what it is? There's a moment like, pull back.

And like, no, go forward. And then they're like almost always. Like, yeah, go forward. Dude, don't treat me different. There was a fan of mine, Meredith to Madison. I forget her name. She's in a wheelchair. She had a photo herself in her wheelchair holding a brick.

And she wrote, I'm Antifa. That's funny. It is funny too when you see a bunch of people laughing and something, which is nice, which is going forward. And then some of people being angry, you're like, this just makes that nicer. The fact that you're like, You know, you could just enjoy this.

And who are you to interject? Yeah. It's not even that you're like, I don't find it funny. Like, well, you're finding it angry. Yes. It's pretty interesting. It's interesting. Well, Scott Adams said like 30% of people have no sense of humor.

I think that's the number is a little high. But they also think if you're laughing, and Jervais said this. People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke. And if I'm making a joke about you, something happening to you, I'm not necessarily making a joke about you. Right. But they don't think in those terms. No one

People like It's funny It's like well Do you ever laugh When someone knocks on the door Because knock knock jokes are sometimes funny But no one's laughing when someone's not Ah ha ha ha ha ha

Yeah right You don't If a priest and a rabbi walked in a bar You're not going to burst out laughing There was a time when I was banned from the comedy store Were you really It was being up Bobby Lee too often And um

So the band was deserved The band was deserved Oh yes Yeah yeah It wasn't like I said something was misconstrued Oh no it was We didn't do anything about words back that It was only like

Like, you were stealing somebody's jokes. Actually, she didn't get involved in that. She goes, handle out yourself physically. Okay. Like, fight. That's a big one. Yeah. And then I was, you know, I was beating up this kid for doing nothing.

Anyway, so I was banned for a while. And then this guy, Freddie Soto, had died. I was living down the street from the store. Yeah, he died in his sleep. He was a hero to everybody. How old was he? He was 35. Holy crap.

Yeah, yeah. He was a real hero to all the young comics, really hugs under his wing. And we were all over. I got the call. from Renaziz. He was like, it was like, and just like,

collapse on the steps in my apartment. And I, I walk back to the store down the street. And I see somebody to hug him and I'm sitting on the stoop, like on the,

on the curb, sitting down there. It's just like, you know, just collapsed there with a friend. And then Don Barras, it's like late night, great comic.

He goes, you know, with all this pain, I'm glad you're still, the band is still, because I wasn't in there. And it was just like, what a good break.

It's such a good break. That's what you want. You want it. It's like, Thank you. And then when he was doing Memorial for Mitsy, we all were there and she was really important to him and really saved him from whatever.

And he was given his speech. And he was like, he started with talk and how she great. And she starts getting choked up. And I just go, fuck it. Yeah. He's like, Ari.

God damn it, Ari. I was like, let me help you out here. Wouldn't Mitsy want that? Of course. Of course. What utility is there of you not laughing?

It helps no one. Yeah. It's funny. It's just, it's interesting. socially who can laugh, who doesn't, and who gets angry. You should reach out to her. Mitzi?

Lucy Davis. Oh. I don't have Ouija bored. Y'all reach out to her. Yeah. Who is she? So there was a British version of the office. This will put Rickettservase in the map.

And she played Dawn, who later became Pam and the American version. She did it superb. She was also in Sean of the Dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's, she's, they reunited there. What do you mean? I think they got the guy who played the love interest in that. They walked by each other.

I think so. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah. So she, it was breast, but it spreads like four places. She's an amazing woman. Yeah, I'll get her on. I'll meet it. I'll reach out of her.

By the time this air, she'll be dead. Right. What a good memorial. But you're in London and I bet you she'd be more than happy. Lucy Davis. Yes. She's a great, great person. Yeah.

Okay. Done. That sounds awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I would love to see someone living happy in that, in the face of that. Right. And make her laugh. It's such an act of protest.

Yes. The fact that she said this, I, I almost started crying. Like, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, What a legend. Yeah. Cancer is the only disease that makes me angry. It really makes me angry. Right.

And it's just like it's someone's mom from like out of nowhere. Fuck you. And there's nothing you do to deserve getting cancer, you know? It's not like you did anything wrong. You know? It's just like, it's just something that happens. In all fairness, when you get cancer, it's going to be karma, not the cigarettes. And we all know it.

And it's going to be brain and it's going to be hilarious. I'm going to ask cancer to spread by, jump and spread of my brain. Buddy, thank you very much. Always a pleasure. Yeah, yeah. Love seeing you. Okay, great seeing you. Wenting back to London.

I'm going back tonight. Oh, shit. Yeah. There's two flights at Austin every day. Yeah. It's really cool. Pretty fucking great. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And then I got a billionaire friend who flies me back and forth. Is that true? I mean, almost. Oh, yeah, I guess. Pretty much almost at this point. It's got to be halfway there. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. When they were fly me for the, they always used to fly us. And at some point, when he started doing it because it's first class tickets now. But when I move there, I'm like, I assume it's going to go back. to coach now. I look to the price and I'm like and I'll be fine with it. You're flying me far and it was like, business class.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you're tall too, so that's got to suck a little bit. I'm a mention so I can fit in the overhead compartment. You fit in the steering, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Awesome, dude. Thanks so much, guys. Well, everybody, that's the episode.

I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you very much Michael Miles for coming in. Bannette. What a doofus. Dear Reader is the best book he's ever written. Well, it's the most famous. An unauthorized autobiography of Bandit. Kim Jong-un.

Ill. Ill. Do they ever do with like a U-B-Illin T-shirt with Kim Jong-il? It's there. It's there for the take it. Somebody Photoshop that. Send it to the U-B-Chip of Patreon and I'll... I mean, not Patreon.

Instagram and I'll put it up. Follow Michael Malice on Instagram, everybody. Michael Malice. M-I-C-H-A-E-L-M-A-L-L-I-C-E. That's how you do it. Yeah, also as podcast, you're welcome that I've been on, start with that one. Bandit! Come on, where's this guy?

Hey, buddy. Hi. That's it, everybody. I hope you enjoy the episode. Next week, Small Brain American, I'm cream smoking. I've done it multiple times where I've picked up a fucking half-smoked cigarette out of an ashtray and smoked it. I've done it multiple times now. So I'm trying these zippics.

They're a sponsor, but not this week. Toothics, nicotine. They do give me a bit of a rush, but I still want to smoke. Now it's like, I mean, that in-between time of like, I want to smoke, but I want to smoke, but I'm full of nicotine. So it's helping. The only problem with these things is you got to remember to bring them with you.

Put them in your pocket. It's cool, though. Toothick is cool. Not quite as cool as a cigarette, but it is cool. Thank you very much for tuning in. Next week, Small Brain American is on the pod. Talking about Somaliland. It should be a good one.

Guys, a lot of you have been randomly unsubscribed on... Bannett. Up. Come here. Up, up, up, up. Unsubscribe. Oh, good jump. On YouTube.

So resubscribe. Leave a comment. I read the first. 35, 40 hours of comments, and some of them legitimately make me laugh. I try to get in there and mix it up, chop it up with some jokes. That's it. Now for the news for the Patreon. We are doing it.

It's going to be every episode of Skeptic Tank. I think I'm going to make you be a subscriber for two months before you get them because I really want to put those behind a paywall. The reasoning is the zeitgeist has moved on. Humor works that way. When I started comedy, 47 years ago, just calling someone a homosexual was a, funny joke that would be a guaranteed laugh. That's no longer that funny because there's a lot

of gays now. It's caught on. It's finally catching on. It's an O'Neill joke. So now if you see somebody from 1999 making just a joke where somebody is a homosexual, not a shane way of saying gay, but the, you know, it's a funny? He'll say gay, but he won't say retarded. It's kind of the same usage there.

But a homosexual way, it's not funny anymore. So if you see something from 2000, then it's like, you know, before the gays blew up the World Trade Center, and show they have some fucking manhood there. Oh, yeah, you thought it was the Jews? You thought it was the Saudis. It was the gays in a concerted effort to get legalized marriage. Now it doesn't apply, so it seems foolish and almost like homophobic if you just make that joke. The zeitguise is the move.

You're right in the line. Now you're over the line. It's weird. And I don't want to get any money in trouble. I remember a story with John Sch. John Cho? David Cho? Margaret Cho? I met this guy at Rogan's Club. He was wearing a robe and he had a red stripe in his head. And I thought it was a homeless guy. I thought it was a homeless guy in 6th Street. Didn't have a snake, but doesn't mean he wasn't the snake guy. He just doesn't have a snake on him. But he had that J.K. Rowling kind of homeless where he's like pretty interesting. Later found out he capitalized on his homeless mentality. He's an artist. David Cho. Boom. Please come on the podcast, by the way. And he told me that Bobby Lee got in trouble. for something he did on, probably said on this guy's podcast and lost a million dollar Amazon deal. And I don't want to get anybody in trouble.

The zeitgeist moved. There was a 12-year-old thing. Zykeyes moved and left him for somebody's listening to it. It's as if he's saying it right now for the first time for reality. I don't want that. So you're going to have to be behind a paywall. Every episode of Skeptic Tank, if you, on the U.B. Tripp on Patreon, if you, you got to start for two months to really get it behind a paywall.

If you can locate the first 21 or 22 episodes that were on Red Band, Death Squad Network. Red Band can't locate them. I can't locate him. Please, if you find a stream or a Torrent or anything, let me know. You ruined it. Um, fucking Taunum sucks, by the way. Can I just tell you that? They're the fucking, I came to this country to cheer on a team. And I fucking it's the last time I'm going to wear this hat. I'll tell you that much. Maybe the last time. Do I look like a Hasidic Jew? Thank you very much, Alan Kaffir for editing today's episode, YMH, for producing it. Next week, Somaliland with Small Brandi American. So, this is what we're with the Patreon. The end for two months. You get every episode of Skept to Think. That's a

skeptic bump. You also are going to get each of these episodes, ad free, same time they're out, not early, same time they're out, ad free, no embedded ads and no, none of me reading anything. And then you'll be notified about the trip around the world, which we've now pretty much got our guy. And what else is there? There'll be a message board for travel, for doing stuff, and just like asking people, other travelers' advice. I think that one's going to be open to non-subscribers as well. God, there's so many cultures in this fucking country.

It's pretty fucking rules. I'll tell you it's too many Muslims, but no, it's too many everything. It's pretty awesome. All right, I think that's it. I told you about the Patreon. You'll be tripping pod. Follow on Instagram. That's it, guys.

Goodbye. Thank you very much for turning, man. Goodbye. Until next week. I'm Marshall Fair saying autonomous fucking sucks.