You Be Trippin' - Tommy Pope Goes To Cuba | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

Follow Tommy on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/ SPONSORS: Check out Marisa for all of your photo & video needs! https://marisaalaggio.com/ On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Tommy Pope takes Ari to Cuba!! You'd think it he went to Australia with the amount of boomerangs in his camera roll. You'll get it when you see the episode. He's got lots of pics to share of cars, cigars, and his rockin' bod. Not to mention, the food looks amazing!! Tommy details how he immersed himself in the culture by playing ball with locals and biking around the island. Me piro! You Be Trippin' Ep. 133 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:37 - Tommy Goes to Cuba 00:23:04 - Tourist Scams 00:25:51 - Boomerang Galore 00:32:45 - Big Ballz 00:39:17 - Travelling with Chicks 00:51:21 - Regular People Shi 01:02:33 - Where to Next 01:13:19 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to U.B. Trippin. It's a travel podcast. Today, my guest is Tommy Pope, probably the number one chef in stand-up comedy. Also, hilarious for sure, but also probably the best drunk sportsman at all of stand-up my 98 years in stand-up. I've never seen anyone operate at that high level while he's boozed up. I have one announcement for you. My television show The End, the storytelling show starring Shane Gillis, Nate Bargazzi, Tom Segura,

Tony Hinchcliffe, Mark Norman, Joe List, Bobby Kelly, San talent, Christopher, tons more. Available right now at rusephir.com, plus Tom Segora, man of the people, always a man of the people, is celebrating it by offering you guys every YMH live for free if you buy the show, buy the whole series. If you buy five episodes, you get the last super free, and every YMH live celebrate the happy couple throughout history.

Go to rusefure.com to get those and help support me doing my live crazy comedy. It's also great. You're going to really enjoy it. All right, right now, Let's start the episode. Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening. This is definitely one to watch. I mean, for sure this is one to watch.

So that's it. Hit subscribe button right now. It'll help me out, leave an algorithm, comment. And that's it. Telly Pope, take us to Havana, Cuba. Trying to get the Monday or Thursday, like a college student, and then just drink on the weekends. Do you know?

I know it's hard. Yeah, it's impossible. And you're like, I guess I'll drink tonight. Yeah. Someone's always drinking. Yes. Yeah. Me and Donnelly were walking home from the old stand, but just his face.

Just his face makes you want to drink. He has a drinking face. We were walking to this. Are we on? Subway, well, we're starting a minute, but we were walking to the subway and, and yeah, we were like our home going home. Then we passed like 10 people like going out and party.

Yeah. It's a Monday, but like, should we be partying? Yeah. I think we should be partying. Yeah, I'm a sucker. I'm a sucker for any of that shit. I don't even have to know you. And free drinks.

Yeah. Where we work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, okay. And the tension, the anxiety, just being around people you don't really like or know. in the green room you're like yeah i will have a double whiskey and then you smoke it like water and then you're like then you get in that zone where i guess i'm going to have to keep this

drink yeah yeah yeah like the next day like i just may as well drink i'll stop on sunday actually dude actually monday my dates have shifted for a good eight months because holidays came my birthday came the eagles there's a story of domer and sebastian right before sebastian hit he was doing okay And then he was at the laugh factory And Dom was like, Sebastian, you don't drink? And he goes, no, I drink. He's like, oh, why aren't you drinking? It's Tuesday.

Yeah. Doing a spot and going home. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. See, that's a very mature. Yeah, well, he gets massively successful. Yeah, true. And Nate Parguazzi, we're like, why are you quitting?

Like, oh, you want to be the number one comic in the world? Also, it's accountability because your schedule is probably insane. Yeah. All right, you want to start this? Where you've been and where you're going. This is our race travel show Yeah We're going to talk about travel today

It's you Hello ladies and gentlemen Welcome to UB Trippin It is a travel podcast Experiential Not like a travel guide So every week I go to a different place With a different person who's been there

It's the only podcast That is sponsored by the pole greasing companies of Philadelphia And today We have Thomas Hayden Pope On the podcast Let's go dude Let's fucking go

You hear the boys clapping in the back? That's right. They're very excited. First time here at YMH Studios. Yeah, it is. Yeah, Tom said he's scared of you. It's very important. Huh?

Tom said he's frightened of you. Segorah? I don't know if he said scared or frightened, but one of those two. Why? He said, you're stunning good looks. Throw him off.

Let's go. Yeah. Are you reading from your diary? Is this actually something he said? I make him a lot of shit. I'm like Alex Jones. I'm not believing anything you're saying, one out of ten things is real.

Yeah, I'm not believing in any of this shit. That's not even on. It's very unprofional. We're here 18 hours a day. You don't even fucking know how the camera works. They took a cue from me. Every other podcast I do is professional. I actually thought your show was on the road

because you kept trying to set it up. Going places. Yeah. Yeah, I thought we're going to do something. This is fun. I'm not saying it's not. I'm having a good time. Oh, you wanted to go somewhere.

I wanted to go somewhere. So, you know, maybe have a drink because you don't have anything here in this giant 70,000 square foot fucking palace. We have drinks. Yeah, I'm not drinking their fucking liquor. Yeah, you don't want to drink. Mom Jean Beer.

on their fucking, poor osos. I mean, it's four guests. But what is it? We have all kinds of different liquors and stuff. If there's no selter, I'll take any of the liquid that, Tom and Bert will allow me to slip on. Yes. All right, let's do that.

You want to mix, you want to be mixologist today? Yeah. Mama, should we send it. Don't worry about your fucking wrists. If it's a full bottle and it goes over a little bit, don't worry about it. That he's been practicing. Yeah, it won't be the first one I had.

Yeah, I'll be fine. There's a hammer in this globe, dude. I don't know why the hammers here. It's never coming out. It's the second time I've seen it. Dice used to have a joke about it. It wouldn't on stage. He goes, like, talking about roommates because we all had roommates.

Of course. And he did. And he goes, yeah, I know it's annoying. Even if you're like your roommate one day, you wake up and they're standing over you with a hammer on the hand. Yeah, it's an easy way to lose your best friend for a while. You know. If you're not fighting with your best friend, because, yeah,

I lived with Shane and Chris for, I lived with Shane for six years, seven years. I saw some legitimately Shane and Chris retarded fights. Yeah, yeah. About nothing. Ruinning a party.

Well, here's the thing, it is about something. It's about the fucking dishes. It's about the mold in the bathroom. It's about the shit on the toilet. And this is all my stuff because I'm like the mom of the house, so I was cooking and cleaning. Oh, yeah.

And then you get a little, as you start going, you start watching a meat. You know, Chris eats without plates. And I'll just open. And you cook nice meals. Food from seamless and then just start walking around the kitchen. So I'm just watching the crumbs drop.

And I log that. That's going to be a fucking problem in an hour. Logging it is such a good roommate thing. Yeah. Logging it. So even when he's a nice guy to me, I can't get that shit out of my head. And then it explodes because it's a pressure cook. You think you'll ever come out?

Chris? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I mean, he's showing signs of not loving his girlfriend. He's an actor now. I'm kidding. He's an actor. Those are almost all gays.

I mean, feel my shirt, dude. Oh, that's right. Velvety smooth. Oh, you're an actor too now. That's right. What do you mean now? Dude, you're great in that tires thing. Yeah, thanks.

Very subtle. Yeah. My pot and, I don't know, whatever else, COVID has ruined my memory of delco. Yeah. Delco proper? Yeah. But, like, I have emotional memories of things. Yeah.

I'm like, oh, yeah, I really enjoyed it. Same. Do you remember this joke? I'm like, nope. You just asked me to pull up a trip. Yeah. And I was like, where the fuck have I been? And then I look up.

photos and there's ex-girlfriends and all these trips. Yeah. Which is why I think my girl was like, hey, we need to go through your photos, clean out your Instagram, stuff like that. You know what I mean? I'm like, wait, why? Instagram.

And then I realize, because I don't care. I post photos on Instagram because I drink too much that I forget the cool shit. Yeah. Just like you said. It's a memory. So it's like if it's a fun thing I've done, take a snap.

I know it's gay. Put it somewhere. Post it and go, remember? Yeah. And that's what I could do when I'm fucking. 60. Yeah. Blind like a fucking Bill Cosby Pug and I'm staring at, you know, telling somebody to

rebeck my Instagram photos. Turn the brightness up. Turn the brightness up. Oh yeah. Did I do that? Did I do that? That guy looks like he's having a blast. That must have been fun.

Are you a, uh, are you like a chick traveler? Yeah. Like a couple traveler? Yes. It's a good way to get going. I'm a serial monogamous. I've been in a lot of long term relations. I've been like six year, five year.

Another six year. What? A three year. That's unfair. Yeah. And now I'm in a two, two and a half, three year. But this one I'm good on. I'm settling down.

I'm growing up. I'm trying to make a baby here. Trying to make a baby there. What? I'm trying to impregnate her and have children in different parts of the world. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, pick it up, dude.

It's your fucking show. I know. This is a globe. You gotta go out of the Amazon to fucking leave one in? Well, these are South Americans. Yeah. So I get to see the brown, fat-ass women

that get me charged up. So then when I look at my girl that I'm tired of fucking. Yeah. We have a shot. That's how you fucking Brazil. Will you fuck while you look out the window? Yes.

Yes. Yeah. All glass canopies. Stare at the 20-year-olds. So where are we going? What do you want to talk about? I say Cuba. Oh, let's do it.

I had the most fun in Cuba. But again, here it is. Yeah. When'd you go? I was 20. Shit. What's it? 2025?

Yeah. Probably 2022. It was like right after COVID. Okay. The gates were open. You just told me that they're back open. I didn't know you could go to Cuba. You said you just went there with Bobby.

Yeah, cheap as fuck. Cheap as fuck, huh? Insane. How cheap it was. Sometimes you're like, what? Yeah. I think most of the country thinks you can't get there, let alone how cheap it is to get there.

They think you just can't eat. You're not allowed. I remember when they were like, Obama opened it, and it was like, oh my God, we got there before it's ruined. And then all my Canadian friends, like, we've been going. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, right. Yeah, just us.

Let's go. Nice. Sorry, they're horrible. What do you got? So what is it? Just vodka and Sprite and Seltzer? Here's the white girls, dude. There's the white chicks.

They fucking get it. You hear how she said Lyme? Like she spiced it up with fucking... Like she's simmered it for an hour and a pop. Yeah, that's... White chicks love lime or crem fresh. There's a little splash of lime in there. Cremfresh, they'll fucking jizzing.

If you want to drop your pants. Cremfresh will get a white chick. Oh, my God. They love crem fresh. Yeah. That's the key to get. getting a girl pregnant. Crempe fresh.

Cremfresh and chili, cream fresh and eggs. Scramble eggs with crem fresh, woo. Baby. Let's spread out. They love crem fresh and Alison Roman. Why did you decide to go to Cuba? What was the Boz calling you there? We wanted to go somewhere, the beach

beachworthy after COVID. Okay. We were going to like, you know, we were going to fucking Jones Beach in New York. Bluch. I go there. But then they shut down the beach. down the ferries, the trains were hard to get there.

It'd take three hours to get there. You got to piss on the way there and the way back. And I was like, let's just take a flight somewhere, take 10 days and we'll go somewhere close along the coast. Found out Cuba was available. We spent maybe four or five days in the city. In Havana. Yeah, in Havana.

Okay. In like a presidential palace overlooking their major park, which is kind of like their central park, even though it's small. What park? Do you remember? I don't. Yeah. Cheap as fuck.

It was an Airbnb for like, I'm going to say, $3, 50 or 400 bucks a night. Did you have it to yourself? Yes. Or nobody there. Marble. Dude, the doors opened. You got pictures of this?

Yeah. Yeah, I got pictures of that. Let me show that. Show me that. Try to find it. That'll be at the beginning of your trip. Yeah, that's fine. Is that Iron Sheik?

That's my father. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's, that's me and the doors open. Wow. There's going to be a lot. Pop these up. There we go.

Shirtless photos. Dude, for sure. When you have that kind of body, you got to have some shirtless photos. I got a bigger rest in that. This is what made me start doing fucking back squats. Wow, look at that view. Look at that flat fucking ass, R.

Zoom in in that flat fucking ass. I mean, what's even there? Dude, my dump is different now. My dump is different. What's even there, bro? Yeah, I got a pair now. And he is disgusted. Well, it does look upset.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it's grimace. Look at this sag right. Oh, you can't really see it, but like that thing? Yeah. It's not even, it's like loose. How is it loose? I love how I was like, wait, do you see how beautiful this picture is?

We're just zoomed into my asshole immediately. We see some more I'll try and uh What a balcony It's so nice out huh Yeah this is what Yeah that's what it looked like That's your view

Out the view of our Damn Yeah You're smoking the cigars Yeah cigars That's what you do right Hold on Um

Yeah so this is our living room Wow That's our balcony Wait go back Go back go back go back What okay right there Look at that car Yeah

Do you see those old cars Oh my God, dude. It's a fucking time capsule. It's a time capsule, right? All the architecture is dilapidated to a beautiful perfection. Like, it's chipping away in areas that you'd see in a rainforest where there's an old inkin temple. Yeah.

And the shrubbery finally takes over. And the moisture and the salt in the air finally starts chipping away the concrete. It was just perfectly enough fucked up. And all the colors of the buildings were like pastels, like mauve and salmon. Yeah. And it was just like, so romantically beautiful until you went like, you know,

three blocks away and started to, start to walk faster, grab your girl's arm, tell her to put her tits away, stuff like that. Was it, did you feel super dangerous there? No, no,

because that's how they make their money. There's one of those cars. Yeah, look that boy. Wow, and that's just casually going? Yeah, I was a big car freak this week. Wow. This is. Yeah, though.

Well, let's come up. Yeah, you will. It's kind of like, uh, yeah. Yeah, dude. Oh, someone just discovered boomerang. Oh, yeah, he sure did. No, dude, this is one. Someone loves boomerang.

No. What a girl you are. That's how you make sense for this. Oh, my God. How fucking embarrassing. You're not even doing it. I'd rather flip through seven more flat ass picks. This is cool.

What do you see this? Is this a video? Yeah. There's just a picture. No, I think it's a video. It's a video. It's a load. Oh, okay.

Is he high stepping past you? Yeah. Well, dude, what? How sick is that, dude? How sick is that? Yeah, it's one guy without a job. One guy fucking working way too hard. Wow, the cut off jeans.

Isn't that great? I do, I think I try to go to that museum with Bobby can get in. Let's go. Come fucking, shut the fuck up. Let's go. What a dork. I hope I flipped the one me just beating off my girls filming. This is also boomerang.

Boomerang style. This is boomer. Hold on a second. Also, before he's, just stop for a second. Okay. It's 2019. Okay. Oh, so pre-pandemic.

Okay. Pre-pandemic. So that's when boomerang was hot. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, all you did was, look at that. Go to the one. I just took picks with cars.

Yeah. And then just balcony picks with your shirt off. And you know she's, hold on, go back up with your shirt off sitting. Go back up with your shirt off sitting there. Where? Yeah, any of those. Why? Yeah, I want to see this.

Oh, okay. Because let me tell you what happened right before this picture. Babe, babe, I look good. Never. Never in my fucking life when I do that. I look good, take this. I understand where you're coming from. It's very embarrassing.

This is dick pics. If it wasn't for your show, these are dick picks to a regular person. This is very vulnerable and you need to calm the fuck down. Dude, it gets worse. So you stayed four days in Nevada? No, this is gay. Oh my God, bro. Are you glistening there?

Of course I was. I was happy. Oh, this is way. He ate every day. That was breakfast at your, at your, so this is the, we went to the beach after the, after Havana.

Yeah. Went to the beach side and the owner would come every morning and make you breakfast. So he, I mean, smash guava down your fucking, my cum probably tastes delicious, but I got tired of it. I was like almost allergic to guava.

Which one's guava? The front one or the back were? Bava's front. What's in the back? Papaya. Papaya. Papaya ever tastes like barf barf to you? No,

I think that's like a genetic thing for Jews. It's like how cilantro tastes like, So to you animals. What? Wait, what? Just discovering that. I'm pissed off about the fucking, you know. I didn't ask you or take it.

The Instagram comment still. No, I gotta get all fucking antitaphetic. Go back, go up, go up, go up. Where, where. To the, is that a Cuba Libre? Where. Look at me, look how fucking hammered I am, dude. Oh my God, bro.

You are enjoying. You just aged 17 years in, no boomerang. Look at you. I look better now, right? Yeah. Say yes. Yes. No.

Cuba Libres. Cuba Libres. Is that what those are? Where? The drinks? No, that's a mojito. Mojito. You don't know what a mojito is?

That's there, right? Yeah. Okay. Oh, now I got to see some real shit, dude. Now you got that. You got to see some. Now you're going to get it. Now you're going to get it.

Houston. Cuba. Havana. Did we eat all those? Wait, pause. All right. So, what was the food like? This was the best Cuban.

I hate to be that corny pussy. Yeah. But it was the best Cuban I've ever had. And it was right before the airport the last day. And I don't know if that was because my taste buds and my... Had calmed down? Mine, yeah.

Because people say Cuban food is shitty. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Dude, our experience? Yeah. I would say there was like three Michelin star chefs in that city at the time. And the dishes were,

I probably spent $100 a dish on average for what you would spend $300, I'm talking bottles of wine. The quality of the food was insane. the rum was a $2 a $2 drink for a 10-year rum. 10-year-ridge room, yeah. It's like, what are we going to do here? You have to.

You just get fucked up. Also, you're helping the community. Helping the community. It's all based on tourism. So, like, the robbing thing was never a fear because they cracked down on that stuff. Like, the government will not put up with that shit. You'll get fucking executed.

That's what I heard. So what you really need to be safe in a country is the government to be, like, totality. Yes, a fucking communist. With, like, if you fuck with tourists, We're in jail for 10 years. We'll take your youngest daughter and use her as a pinata and your head will fucking come off.

And that's what makes a good dictator, man. Yeah. You got to get to get us. Let's let these whites Americans in. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We replaced.

I'm sorry. No, it's not, you know, it's not your system of government. Hey, guys, I got to break in to tell you about the guest. Tommy Pope. First of all, he is hilarious. I'm not just going to say, that. But he's also the best chef in comedy and by far the best drunk athlete in all of stand-up comedy. And I've been to stand-of-comedy for 93 years. And I'm telling you Tommy Pope,

bombed, legit, legit, go-goo. Bombed out of his mind. Literally, not making memories, is better than you are. Just rainy threes that he can't recall. I'm always Schiafier. Let me tell you two things about Tommy Pope. One, he's got a two podcasts called Look a Dish that he is with Chris O'Connor, a Trippie Award winner for saddest, worst trip. And stuff island that I've been on back when they were both living in New York City and Queens underneath Schenggillis. Yeah, he was lying on top of them and they couldn't get out. He's also on the road. You should check out Tommy Pope on Punchline. Punch up, he's in Tampa, Atlanta, San Diego, Nashville, Providence, Pittsburgh, Raleigh, Philadelphia, and West Niagara.

Definitely go check him out. He's one of... Just a really great comment, guys. We definitely want to look at that. So, um, the only other thing I have to tell you is, he's on tires. He's on a new season of tires. Reprising his role as some,

got it. Go! There's some dumb guido. The role he was born to play. He's also quite fun to hang out with on a private jet paid for by your friends. Um, for myself,

all I've got is the end. My new storytelling show, The End. television show seven episodes starting the best comments in the world Shane Gillis um Naparazzi Tom Segura

who else we got Joe List Mark Norman Robert Kelly Sam Talent Chris DeStefano Steph Tollev Jordan Jensen Miss Pat Alisa Deke Steve Simone

Jim Brewer guys these are the best if you buy five episodes you get two for free but right now I'm telling you this because Tom Segora cares about poor people. He is offering you every episode of YMH Live if you buy the season, the end. Just 25 bucks. 29, 29 bucks.

But you buy five, get two for free. Anyone who's already bought it, don't worry about it, you're already in. Check your email, and they'll have sent you free access to the happiest couple in the world, Tom Christina, in their live episodes. Do they do such crazy things as

put a peg in a gimp's ass and pay ring toss. And much, much more. Guys that actually saved comedy during the pandemic, and allow people to actually connect. It was great. And now he's given to you free through August 30 first. So go to Ari Shafir.com right now

and get the end. Also, you can enjoy a great storytelling show. I think that's it. Let's get back to Havana. Please subscribe. Wherever you're watching, listen. Guys, some of these are more watchy than others.

This is definitely a watching one. So head over to YouTube, and head over to Spotify and really watch this episode, for real. Leave a comment and reach out to Tommy J. Pope. on Instagram and tell them you had a great episode. If you really want to support the show, there's two ways to do it.

Subscribe and reach out to these guests on Instagram. Let me get a good time. For myself, this is episode three of me trying something for you guys, which is demonetizing myself. I am doing absolutely no advertising from YouTube. They're still going to put some on, but I'm taking all of mine off. And in return, I'm asking you guys, we don't want to get annoyed by it, to put in two bucks once a month.

If you want to do just 10 all at once for the year, fucking go for it. 12, whatever. But if I can make the same amount of money I was making with YouTube ads to not bother you with them, then glory be to all. So yeah, throw in a super like right now to the bottom, put in like and super like,

just throwing a couple bucks to the tail. And if I can do this, then let's just keep doing it. Those ads are annoying for the non- YouTube premium subscribers. I get it. I was also poor until about six weeks ago. Okay, let's get back to Havana. Guys, for real, this is one of the checkout.

visually. And next week, John Ronson. I forgot tell you that. John Ronson next week. Fucking, that's why you want to subscribe. John Rons, a great writer, has a new book coming out. A tale of deceit, heartbreak, and satanic rituals in Greece. This is a really fun podcast. Not every episode, but the ones that are good

are fucking good. Okay. Lots more coming. Ari Maddie, Christina Pisizki. Fucking, I don't know what else. Kyrgyzstan, we're going to. Spain. I forget what else we got. Oh, Peru, Machu Picchu.

That's going to be one of the best episodes. All right. Anyway, let's get back to the episode. Bye. No, but there were scams, which is like,

I was never fearful of, like, getting pickpocketed or held up, even though there were, like, shady fucking streets. Yeah. Their biggest scams were, they had, like, President's Day sales on cigars.

Bro, I fell for it. I fell for it. I felt for it. Of course she did. And then the last day, someone's like, it's a holiday, happy holiday.

It's like, you already got me. Four days later. It was like, enough. Oh, yeah, today's holiday, too. We can get you a mattress for $10 off. President's Day sale. That scam has been going on for over five years.

Yes, dude, it's insane. So what they do is they, and you can see them too because they're a little more dressed up. They go a little more American style with their dress. You'll see a lot of suits. And the guy will walk. This one guy was very clever. He out of nowhere pulled a bottle of vitamins.

I know. Sounds strange. Yeah. And to point it to the American flag on. He's like, I get my vitamins in America. Where are you from? You're from America? And then he claims...

Oh, that's cool. That's a good end with us. Yeah, his sister lives in like Washington. So he'll ask where you're from. So I said Philly. And then he knows the map enough that he goes, oh, my second cousin lives right around the corner from you in Washington, D.C. And he ingratiates himself with you.

And then he goes, you know what I'm going to do for you? What are you going to do for me? Give me a vitamin, you fuck. And he goes, no, come down this way. I'll walk you to this place. I can get you a good deal on these Cubans. Oh, I got videos of this bitch rolling a Cuban. It's very nice.

Dude, that's exactly what they did to me. Yeah. Somebody's like, wait, were you at the airport yesterday the day before? I was like, yeah, she goes, yeah, I saw you there. What are you doing here? Dude, that's insane. My sister, I was picking up my sister.

I was like, oh, yeah, okay. I guess I have a face that stands out. Wait, so she walked you down, that would happen? Oh, my God. No, I never went. Because I was like, come on. Because you're not a fucking loser. Yeah.

That's crazy. So that was the one scam. No, me neither. The other scam was, so they worked during the day, but it's very, it's very white collar. So the scams aren't like, we're going to rob you. The scams are going to cheat you. We're going to cheat you. Yeah.

100%. And it's all, it's all based on them selling what they sell because they can only do so much. So it's either rolling you a Cuban cigar or they drop out of school in fifth grade and they play fucking baseball. There's nothing to do. So it's take care of, it's like jerk off Americans and learn how to hit a fucking, a slug. I got into one real discussion there, and it was the guy was trying to like, hey, it was right before a hurricane, so I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. We're just walking. But he goes, where are you from? Like, New York goes, El Ducke? And I'm like, yeah, I was big fan. He goes, I love the El Ducay. And then we start talking about Cuban baseball players. And he goes, everybody good from here leaves. That's their whole fucking world, dude. Oh, this is their whole fucking world, dude. Oh, this chick's just rolling. This is what? Dick. Back dick? Hold on. I want to try and show you this. I have video. Yeah, look at this. Whoa, look at that. Turn up here. Wait.

This chick's just rolling Where's this? Let me guess I'll turn up your phone Turn up your volume You can? Yeah Oh but boomerang won't help

Is it boomerang? Fuck It's four Look at you wear your Cuban shirt Go back to that Go back to that Also collar shirt's winning in 2019 I asked the guy

With the big fucking baggy pants on Wear collar his shirts on In six years ago Say fucking yes Is this hotel Noste no yes yeah yeah the rollings were there too right yeah oh just Christ wait go back up the fucking boom that's the cigar shop in Hotel Nassi or no I had a whole video this bitch I don't think you did I think it was a back and forth video oh this is

the National wow yeah you know that's what the godfather was right but they didn't shoot it there but when they're all leaving Cuba that's that's supposed to be there oh yeah when he says hey I'm leaving power dude we were there was the day after a hurricane that all those trees were done. Yeah. The trees were down, you said? The trees were down. There was, there was like,

like, immediately like, um, dude, I mean, I'm passing so many four second videos. I want to see him. Let's see you. No,

no, no, no, you know what'd be cool? A back and forth on a hammock where it's already back and forth. Fuck! Come on.

That was going to be a good boom. I was going to be a great fucking boom. I felt it. I was finding to have redemption. Did you go ski shooting? Boomerang Redemption. Boomerang Redemption. It is so embarrassing.

Four second vids. Now I know what it is. Hold on. Hold on. Let's go back to my hammock days, dude. Let's see this boomerangus. My boomerangic days. There it is.

Let's see one of these. Oh my God. You're going to kill myself. I'm going to fucking kill myself. Let me see the other one. Let me see the other one. I can't wait for this load up. What are you doing?

I'm hammered! It's the same motion! Yeah, the sun's going down. I'm ripped. Here's me having fun. Is this you in your casa, in your Airbnb? Yeah. We have a private balcony.

If you have... It's a presidential suite. Un amoka. They beheaded one guy. They beheaded a guy for, what, staring at you wrong? This girl. Shot at his girl. You boomeranged, you wiping your nose.

Look, more cars, dude. I was a big car buff. More cars. I was a real grease monkey out there. Cuba. Some of these are like decrepit and some of them like really fixed up. This is from the roof which is kind of sick. Wow so that's pretty that's pretty hold on me see this yeah zoom in here you can't zoom oh you can't no it's locked up also I know enough about you online I'm not giving you my fucking phone I used it before boomerang

look at a laundry wait how did I zoom in before you didn't I did oh yeah you did there you go look how so look at that house look at that house which one that one that one It's like it's just like an open. It looks like fucking Downstairs? A Cleveland's house. Are you downstairs in the middle? Yeah, this one.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Does somebody live there? Ah. It's like a bottomed out. Yeah. That's where you make a good pitcher. You take a small kid who sucks at school and you beat the fuck out of them in a little basement.

Yeah, but also like right before you make contact, it boomerangs back. Yeah. It looks like you're not punching him. Well, that's the threat. That's a threat. A four second threat. You got to bring boomerang's back. Do you know why they're so good at baseball?

Do you want to hear a good story? I mean, this sounds like the beginning of a very racist joke. No. Hey, because they're black. Hey, why are they so good at baseball? Um, wow. So these are the homes that got evacuated for the hurricanes. They come by, like, let's go.

You're going to the gymnasium. Because the shutters can't stop wind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so this is another boomerang guys. Obsessed with that. Dude, just fat-titted Cuban onus

put the hanging laundry and then swinging that line out. You know what I mean? Who's the smell like in a braw in fucking 30 years? Here's a full bit. Okay. Oh, what? Try turning it up. Let's go.

Oh, you turn the volume up. I can't? It's going up. It's not going up. It's a setting. Oh, you know what? I think you have to hit the button on there. Oh, yeah.

There you go. Oh, I think it's that mute, not mute button. It's crazy how fucking old I am. You know how you use your phone all the time? It's that. Yeah. Well, I'm used to muting it so I can beat off in the bathroom with my girl phone. Fair, fair.

Nothing like if I could mute porn. Yeah, mute porn. Dude, I just go thumbnails. I let the thumbnail rip. And then just go back to the next one. I don't play a video. That's boomerang porn. Yeah.

Dude, I'm going to be. boom ring I mean honestly if you see some penetration that's all you would need that's fucking that's fucking that's it's a synopsis it's a trailer it's a synopsis so they show you how they met and then they show you like oh they're taking their clothes off he's eating her ass and then it's smash smash smash sometimes the mouse over is just the lead up that's it's no way yeah my all my apps don't even you don't have to mouse over they're all running the same time I got a good battery I saved a lot of battery on this boom so wait why are Cubans is that wait why are Cubans go to baseball?

Oh hold on dude trying to get a nice video. Let's get one more boom. Me on a bike, dude. I know what park this is. God damn. What are you doing, bro? What? I mean, what are you doing? Do you think this was me? There's no way a chick would do that.

Do you think this was me? This is why you broke up with us. You ruined my trip. She's in that river. Oh, really? There's no rhyme or ream. Isn't that even stuff. That's in Havana, right?

Yeah. Yeah, we're biking back to our villa. Wow. Isn't that cute? Yeah. All right. Well, let me see this body. Let me see this fucking ripped body.

The one where you're facing us. What? The one where you're facing us. Oh, I was playing football with the, with fucking beach beans. Hold up. Hold on. Beach beans. Is that Cubans on the beach?

Beach, Pete's Man, the things are just falling out of my face. Wait, wait, wait. No, I do have a video.

Show me the one next to three. No, keep going. Which one? Yeah. This one? Look at that fucking body, bro. You want to suck my bird right now?

Yeah. I got to find this vid. I swear to God, I got a video throwing a ball with these kids. At them? Because, no, no. So I played football.

Here's a great story. Yeah. I'm sitting there, bored out of my fucking skull. Yeah. And these kids are playing football. You should live in the moment. Yeah. That is living in the moment for me.

Yeah. Throwing a pig in the foreign land. Taking everything. Wait, so wait, what do they do? Sorry. I think I'll find it. I swear to God, maybe it's on her phone. Should I text my ex-girlfriend for the first time six years?

Babe, I know this is going to sound strange. Can you send me that video of me? As a friend, absolutely not. Football with the beach beach. Let me see that four second video No further But let me see this I hope she walks backwards soon

Look at those calves She's a fucking beast Look at those calves That's a walrus taking I thought they're short on food there Taking a break from the rain Okay this is like really exciting now To see that spin wheel

Yeah let's go look at dancing Look at her dance A two step She's collecting rain water For fat kids Yeah what is that bucket Take that out. Hold on, hold on.

I guess I don't have the beach video. These kids didn't know how to play football. So what did you do? I'm going to take a break from this for a second. Okay, yeah. So I'm watching these kids throw the ball and they throw like, you know, left-handed women. It's atrocious.

Yeah. So I just did one of these. The universal sign is saying, football? Toss me the ball, yeah. Okay. And I blew their fucking skull. I blew their skull.

I was in the locker room in high school. And I was like, tell them to go patterns. The only kid that knew how to speak English is strumming up a three-on-three. And I'm thinking I'm just going to steady QB. Yeah, all-time QB. I'm just going to quarterback for you guys.

And you can have fun. They're kids. They're like 16, 17-year-old kids. Did you call it all-time in Philadelphia? Huh? Did you call it all-time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And steady, we call it.

Steady QB. Guys, real quick, today's episode of UBTRIP and is brought to you by someone I believe in. Marissa Pellegrino. editor on Skeptic Tank, R-I-P. And she's about to now get the Skeptic Tank bump. You should hire her for all your editing work. She's really good.

Also, photography work. She's got a website. We can reach out to her right now at Marissa Elagio. She got married. M-A-R-I-S-A-L-A-G-G-I-O. Man, that's Italian sounding. Pellegrino to Elagio. If you need her for photography, 100% get her for that.

But if you just want her for the reels, pretty much she edited every episode of Skeptic Tank. that was up. So if you liked it, she's wanted to hire. All the young comics, anyone who you're doing anything, making videos, all the crazy weird commercials, the fake commercials we did, like for Doritos and stuff like that. That was her. So she's talented. Reach out to her. Marissaelagio.com. Okay, let's go back to the episode. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, joined thousands in Toronto.

for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. They didn't know the rules because they didn't know English. So I'm steady-kew being, and two kids came up,

and I start running, I throw the ball, and they tackled me. I've already let up. I didn't have the ball. So they're just playing All they know is baseball and soccer maybe So he tackles me I got no ball so now I'm fucking fired up And

There was another play where they didn't have like First, Second, Third, Fourth Down They just, whoever had the ball They rummaged. It was like Pat Riley's backyard football If you remember that game. Anyway, I fucking leveled this kid I was wearing my girls

What do you call those? Like silk? No, it's like a robe Catana. Camano? Oh. I didn't take my katana off and I ripped this dude. Dude, this kid left his fucking feet and I planted them and they were all like,

oh, they were going bananas. We don't have health care here. He's going to feel that forever. Yeah, and then she screams like, come on, it's getting too serious. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want that. Yeah, let me tell you about baseball. Okay.

So these kids, they don't have money, right? So they don't have the means to purchase a glove or a ball or even a bat. So what they do is they play with bottle caps and broomstick handles And for gloves They'll take a piece of cardboard And tape it around their hand And trap the ball

With whatever ball they use Might be a racket ball, might be yarn Stick, rock Yeah, a rock So if you think about training Throughout their developmental years Their hand-eye coordination Is developed beyond the Americans

Because they're catching balls with a fucking They're catching a ball And they're watching a bottle cap dip and dive so every pitch is a ball with cardboard hands cardboard box hands and the bat's only this thick

yeah so you have to match the bat with a bottle cap so they get to the fucking minor leagues it's like one of those big red bats for the retarded kids the whiffle ball bats the ball is a beach ball you know I mean

so they're fucking insane so every dugout is filled with 15 six my best friend Rob Cooch got drafted to the Red Sox out of college. And he said every dugout, he went to Lowell, Massachusetts for the Lowell Spinners, which are Boston Red Sox minor league team. And they're 15, 16-year-old Dominicans, Cubans.

Yeah. Nobody speaks English. They don't have to. And they're just so good. And now the training mechanisms for American kids is that flat glove. So you buy a glove where your hand slides in the leather, and it's completely flat because middle infielders are taught to trap the ball so they can get out of their glove quick. Oh.

So it's an exchange. second base, first base. So it's always a two-hander. And when it's flat, it causes you to trap a lot faster than if you catch with the mitt and pull it out. That's an extra 0.3 seconds. Wow. Hey, can you guys look up a video of a kid striking out in T-ball?

There must be one of him swinging and missing on a steady ball. Yeah. I would love that. Oh, we got to replace retarded with somebody also. Yeah. I think you said Burt. Burt? Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I find a birded kid. You did you say Burt? Yeah. We have some replacements for stuff that's going to get demonetized. So, Chad is, I'm sorry. Sorry, I was having fun. And Bird is. Thorpe poured me a fucking stiff drink.

It's not bad. It's really not bad. What do you guys got for the N-word? I mean, I guess we got to go any. We have not had one on here yet. Yeah, now. I'm kidding. So that's so funny

What were uh... did you get any like you rode in the cars? You had to over it. We took uh... We took two like two cabs in one of those big boys. Yeah. You know? We did the whole thing. How long did you stay there total?

So the reason we did the beach and the city because the city gets tiring. You know, it's the same thing over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I stayed too long. Yeah, we did all the restaurants. We had like a... What's the restaurant? Did you go to the one that Obama went to?

Yes. It was so fucking good. Unbelievable. And cheap. That's the $100 one. And cheap. It's crazy. Like, not bad.

And then, like, like, Bobby got, like, two Coca-Cola's, I got, or like, virgin drinks. So it's more than just Coca-Cola. I got two full drinks, full meals with sides. Yeah, like 100 total. It's crazy. And it's, like, very high-end stuff. Like, the meals, I should have took more pictures. I got pictures of food and another phone.

Yeah. It's like a bulimic picture with that boomerang where you're like, no. Yeah. No. No. That's why it was Jack. Yeah, always going to get one for a boomer. Those aren't boomerangs.

That's just my natural reaction. Yeah, I have a whole, a whole subset of shit. The football picks are great. Oh, that's so cool to play on the beach with those kids. It was so fun, man. There's something about playing with local kids. Yeah. Anywhere.

Yeah. That's just the best. The best. Everywhere I've gone, as soon as I see kids playing the street, I'm in. That's all we did growing up. Like where else? Have you done that? Puerto Rico.

You play with kids. Puerto Rico, Costa Rica. Yeah. I know what you're doing right now. I'm saying like normal, normal. normal adult-sized children with hair on their nuts. So if they wanted me to suck them off,

they had every right to say yes or not. I was not doing that. Is that just going to be a whole line of Burt? Just back-to-back Burt's for fucking two straight minutes. Dude, how big does Bert come in when he comes in here? Does he just come in, like hands up, just going, yo! Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I did that in Egypt. I was on the pyramids and some kids were, like, you know, white by a white guy, and then they had a ball. We played, like, right in front of a pyramid. What were they playing?

Soccer. Soccer, yeah. That's awesome. And just like, they want it so bad to, like. Yeah. Did you get, you captured it all? Not the football, not the futball, but got to be the, um, when would, when would, yeah, well, that's a moment I cherish.

Now, I think about it. And this is why your, your show's kind of genius. Why? Because it makes you think back on this go, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Because I'm not going to post all that gay shit on Instagram. forget most of it. Boom. Yeah, these are kids.

We're on a fucking pyramid. Let's go. I sent it to you later. And they just wanted to talk to me. That's so cute. Yeah, and then like an hour later, the security girl showed up and they're like, oh, you get down from there.

I'm like, oh, the kids said it was okay. Yeah, get away from the Jew. Yeah, they're like, we want to be on your camera so bad. Get away from the Jew. We drove them out. They're not supposed to be here. They said they were never going to return. So how was the chick,

how was traveling with a girl? Let's do that. There's always got to be some fights and some joy. So I went to Costa Rica with the college X. I went to Puerto Rico with the one after that. Yeah. And then I went to Cuba with that one.

Yeah. Is it take them to break up these places? You know what? What? I got a whole theory about this is when you start understanding and knowing the end is and you do take him on one more trip.

It's like I make a wish for getting rid of a one. Right. Like I know we're behind on a trip. So I'm going to take it. Yeah. You're about to die. So I want you to shake hands with the quarterback you love. So you say I treated you right. I treated you right. Don't forget I took you to Cuba that one time. It's a very selfish thing. Remember that? Remember when I let you watch me play football with the fucking Foreign kids in the sand? Yeah. Foreign kids in the sand should be the name of this podcast. I did that for you baby. Now get the fuck out. Oh my God. Yeah.

No, it does seem, I don't really, I'm not serious, but it does seem to be a consistent theme where as it winds down, there's like a big hurrah. Yeah. Lewis does that with every new chick. Yeah. It's Jamaica. Yeah.

He goes, let me take you to place I've never taken anyone. And then when he gets there, they go, hello Mr. Gomez? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, shut up, you don't know me. Yeah. Yeah, well, it's a psychological thing because you know you're not going to give a fuck about them,

but you want the environment to get them all horny. Yeah. You ever talk to your exes anymore? No Because I don't believe in that I talked to like one ex I talked to one here and there But like it's like

She's wonderful She was like my college girl And she was like she's got a family And you know Every now and then she'll see something online Send me a congrats or something like that And it's very I hope you're doing great But I've never had a consistent relationship

Outside of a breakup It's only in sitcoms where they do that Yeah Like my best friend's my ex I'm like that's not reality He's waiting to eat your asshole When you fall asleep That should be at every sitcom

There's an asses There's an ass eating episode. Yeah, that guy's... It opens up with Jerry just... Just, just... Elaine's ass, just like getting in there. And then look at the camera, like, how'd you think this was gonna go?

We fucked before. Yes. Yeah, it's always in the back of your mind. Yeah, as soon as she breaks up with putty, or has a fucking fight with putty. She's like, I don't know, Jen. Let's have a drink. Yeah, let's get two glasses of wine.

Is there any Seinfeld porn? Yeah, it's got to be. Can you look up? I guess don't put it on. But, yeah, to find some Seinfeld porn. AI with Seinfeld. How long did you stay at the beach? beach for uh four day four five i think we split it up it was like five and five and

would you stay in there another house this guy's cabana and he was like he was great he let us borrow bikes we're right on the beach it was like it was like being down the shore you know how far where like where was this beach how like did you drive there a three hour drive through fucking fuluzia dude the roads were like bombs have hit it like and you have to go through the dark so the jeep is like sideways and it took about three four hours let's go what's that one Oh, they're just lookalikes, damn. They're look alike. She's too thick for Elaine.

Wow. Oh, yeah, way too thick for Elaine. Look at that. Look at that. I mean, it looks like cream. It looks like a cold. Seinfeld number two. The first one was such a success.

Oh, my God. Yeah. See, that's still how enough, dude? That's hot enough. That's, how you're going to make the fucking skinny Jew a fat Latina? Yeah. I mean, they just photoshopped the hair on them and stuff. These are regular porn stars.

He just put a Jew Bufon on it. Uh-huh. We had a comic who did a great. Cosby impression and they put him in porn as Cosby porn. Thomas Ward. He wasn't doing the fucking, but they were like, you do the setup scenes and the kids will fuck and you walk out. So they make, they give him a costume,

so they look kinda like the guy? Yeah, he did the impression really good. And then everybody else was just like, Rudy was fucking Theo. Oh my God, how does he, so he does a show and some porn directors in the crowd going, I could use this guy. God damn. And then hires him per-

I beat off to Elaine so many times. What I'm saying? Yeah. I mean she was like so still. I think she's getting hotter. I have such an old woman thing. That's what you're wrong. I searched black grannies last night.

I bet you found something. I've found enough. I bet you. And this is why you only do thumbnails. You don't have to see the diaper being removed. Once you click on it, they're like, now we know. Yeah, yeah. We suspect if you just do the thumbnail, but we know if you click.

Yeah, I should have boomerang that for sure. What do you wish you had done in Cuba you didn't do? That's the thing. I, I, we did it correctly. I wish I got out of the city more and maybe go to Trinidad in the city in the south. Was that just a puddle jumper? Because you can't drive there. It's like a nine or ten hour drive.

No way. We'd have to take the flight. Yeah. And that's going 10 miles an hour through. Yeah. Vinyalas we wanted to go to like the jungle, like the mountains we didn't get to there. We didn't do the jungle. I did the jungle on Costa Rica.

I got shit on by a monkey in Costa Rica. Nice, bro. Good luck. Let's go ahead. That's good luck. Yeah. Look at me now. How do you think I got out of here?

Yeah, you got on tires out of that. No, we, we, we, we, again, five days, one place, five days the other day, it's like all of my trips, we, and I don't know if this is like universal, but like, I don't like to plan too much. The what to plan? Yeah, so like, let's go make sure restaurants are a major part of it. Yeah. A little booze and entertainment, dancing, music, that kind of shit. Yeah. Did you do that there?

Yeah. Music and dancing. What kind of dancing? You're like, where'd you go and like what did you do? Yeah, what'd you do? How'd you find them? We just asked the... Do you guys have an empty bottle I can use real quick? You got to spit? You're going to piss?

I'm going to piss. Are you kidding? Into a bottle right now? Maybe I'll just break and go to the bathroom. No, I love this. I got to piss, too. You want to take a quick break and piss? Yes. Just keep it running.

Yeah. All right, let's go. Let's go. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, joined thousands of... in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. When Westcham first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at Westjet.com slash 30 years. And we're back. Thank you to the sponsor for sponsoring this episode. Don't forget to check out Tommy Pope's podcast. They're with Chris O'Connor called Stuff Island.

I don't know when this will be out. But I assume Stuff Island will still be going regardless. I'll put in bumpers later. dates and shit once we air it but I'm like months ahead oh that felt good I had an exfoliating bead underneath my eye this whole time you didn't say fucking word I saw it I thought it'd be embarrassing when it comes out yeah well what you mean what'd you have the exfoliating face wash has beads buddy I don't know if you know this but not the rest of the comedy scene is not like you so I don't know what the fuck you're talking about most of the comments under our

podcast are you gay and then I get private messages through Instagram going, yo, where can I cop that shirt? Oh, yeah. Or like, where can we meet? Questions I'm going about this floor? It's pretty sick. It is sick.

How do you feel about towel shirts, whatever they're called? Terry cloth. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Summertime. Baby, all you got to is commit.

You don't have to wear fucking merch like an asshole all day. This isn't merch? That's not merch. It should be. Look at your hat and shirt right now. You're bustling my fits. This is free from wheat. You look like you fell through a lost and found box.

Delete this episode. Yeah, we do need a word for... Tired of fat, grizzled bedbugs. Tell me I look like fucking... We got to replace fucking fat with somebody. I guess we need somebody's, I guess we need somebody's like full name and short name, like Alan Allen, Alan.

Yeah. Alan's not going to go for it. You ever see that? I think Reed would be pretty... Think what? I think Reed would like it. Reed. You know Reed, the secretary?

Reed. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Tom's assistant. I don't know anybody. Tom has an assistant? What does he need help with?

See, drop in fucking... He's like, hey, I want you to take more pictures than me coming off a private jet. It's important we can catalog this again. It is tough because I got a lot of pictures with Jane because I'm proud of them. You know, like when I open for him and you go on his jet and I'm like, this is such a sick thing.

Yeah. But you can't. I was trying to convince him for DC. This will have already done this by the time this comes out But he's like, let's do DC He'll do one of those fucking arenas Yeah That's where the caps and the bullets play there

Yeah Or at least the Wizards but like I was like let's go back to New York Let's rent out like get every seat on a Flix bus or a megabus Yeah to do it old school style Yeah Yeah I like that I do's no way I'm like bro

If you get it now it's a dollar seat Yeah We can really just have the whole thing Yeah but then you gotta take all your clothes off in a fucking garage Because bed bugs and shit Fleas and shit Oh you're not worth it You ever get bedbugs in New York?

Not once. We had it. You had it. Me, Shane, and my old roommate, Steve McConey had it. Because I think somebody from like creaking the cave slept on our couch once. Or you just find anything. Any movie theater you're going to get it. Yeah.

Someone's, you know, just always, I'm surprised I don't have more, to be honest. Yeah, we tossed everything. Everything just went to the trash. We had one pull-out chair and an Xbox. Wow. For like three weeks, dude. You kept that. to doing this

Yeah You're like Oh shit That way's coming out Yeah The Xbox had bed boats So what Yeah

What would you do If you went back to Cuba again I don't think I I don't think I do anything differently Nice Honestly God I think like we We nailed the

Entertainment side of things With the restaurants The booze Oh the fucking Supermarkets Because they're Do you remember these? Uh huh

Yeah What did you see Because they're What? Tell me about them Yeah It's all one product Or one company rather

and their products are spaced out where like it looks like right before I don't know what tornado would hit in yeah see these are full yeah you see that that middle one grocery store in Havana no that one to the right to the right to the right that guy so they're just all empty shelves or just one line

of one product and it looks like a CBS where and it's all the same brand wow it's so like in order water or whatever the fuck cream and then you go to the next line and it's there's only like is that the government brand huh is that like the government brand yes yeah yeah the communist i didn't go to a supermarket i went to like little bodegas yeah damn it was very creepy that's when i was like oh shit we do you know casos we just have to wait for our guava plate tomorrow because there's nothing to eat dude i went when we were hurricane was coming we went to find like cheese and bread yeah it was like actually

i do need help go you should go find cheese and bread and we're in one like do you have casso you pardon and like it's like no and then pop i was like let's go i'm like bobby what are you doing goes i'm checking out with these cookies yeah there's a fucking hurricane coming forget the cookies because i'm gonna run out just get cheese and bread cookies dan that's interesting do you like doing that going to like supermarket like doing i think doing regular people shit in another country thank you so much yeah yeah when we went to puerto rico we stayed in a in a house that was on a a random street. It was through her,

it was like her boss's house that was like a gated place and down like a regular off step speech in Puerto Rico and the house next to us was like a chicken farm like there was a little a little bodega

but it was kind of a bar where there's just like three drunks there all day long smoking medellos like I like to be with the people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucked that up the first time because I went to Costa Rica

was my first like out of, you know out of the country visit and I went to a whatever American style all you can eat destination I got fuck oh the resorts the resorts it's like why even be there yeah I guess for the weather but like disgusting it's like going on a cruise yeah it's just like the worst of the worst of Americans going to some other destination when I went to Trinidad they were there were staying in like eastern Tobago yeah it's pretty far over and they were like you guys British we're like no like American like really yeah and like like like what do you mean like you guys only stay at resorts yeah yeah all inclusives yeah I mean

it makes sense to a certain point where like you got to make sure you're safe and like it depends on what country you're going to but like you're safe yeah i yeah i yeah i'm fine you're safe yeah you were safe you're all she was safe too who's gonna stop we were all we were all right we were all sick you that's the worst thing you do is come up and lick that fucking glistening body i'm thinking you're tough just getting fucking shanked everything's oh everything you know where I'm from What was I gonna say? Oh fuck, I had it. Yeah, it's that regular stuff that really makes you realize

like, oh, how it's different than Michael. Because you live like that. You've been to a supermarket a thousand times here. Yeah, why go to another warm destination and live like yourself? It's like you have no idea, you experience nothing about that country. You don't know their culture, you don't know their food, you don't know what I mean?

Like the cuisine's the same. You're still eating boiled shrimp and some fucking, basically an apple beast, with a bunch of other fat morons. We were at the beach in Ecuador. We saw some people from Walwood. Yeah, let's go. And I was like, I was sitting there to a little command

to get for five bucks for the day and I could hear that. Yeah, that accent. Yeah. I'm like, what? Yeah. And then I didn't want to be recognizing Ecuador. One guy recognized me there in that group and I was like, yes, because I need to start a conversation with you.

Yes, dude. How many, how many relationships I've made with ex-girlfriends, another couple somewhere and you're like, we should be in contact forever. Yeah. Yeah. And then you realize how ridiculous that was a thing. They were telling us they went every year to this beach town. Their buddy married to Ecuadorian and moved there.

So they were going there before and then he fell in love and moved there. So they would keep going. And they go, you got to guys. I can't do the accent. They got a great chicken piccata. Yeah, chicken piccata. And I was like, you came to Ecuador and got chicken picata? I saw I met a guy that just moved to Austin from Delco.

He's wearing an Eagles jersey. Yeah. And me and my girl are eating text max. And I was like, go birds. And then he ended up sitting next to us with his wife and his kid. What is that when you're traveling where you can actually like meet, somebody I would never go out I wouldn't do that even here yeah right but like yeah when you're out there like so where are you guys from yeah well we're all gonna do this tomorrow if you want to come

yeah yeah it's insane yeah yeah I get it I get anxious meeting up with friends I love here yeah here yeah I get nervous meeting you guys at the bar the other day I didn't want to come here at all like this still right now I want to leave is that the correct time 45 minutes Jesus Christ well relax we can wrap it up whatever it's up to an hour and a half we can I get one more of these drinks and uh wait wait wait you gotta do this oh it's twice i only do it once it's stuff just just just just once yeah no no it's not a clap just for the cameras i know what it is it's for the lady oh yeah i'm kidding yes please how are you going to know which one's which i'll take this one out oh you're worried about me you're fucking balls of you

whatever you think is strong whatever you think is strong whatever you think is strong doubling not mine mine's right that was adorable that you thought that was strong thanks for the soda water I gotta amend my I have a theory never try to keep up with an Australian or a Canadian and then I got

at Chicago or Philly also bro I'm a problem yeah oh yeah you were lit yesterday I didn't know you handle it so well yeah that's the problem I can't always like hi you're like hey yeah what's matter

nothing the problem is a good drinker knows how to handle it and it becomes it just you just get too wet it's a sponge yeah i wish i was a bad drinker like a fucking jo list i wish i took my shirt off and headbutted fucking doors you know after like three drinks i wish got off it because then you get healthier if you know how to handle it or people say come on go home yeah let's it's time to wrap it at least de rosa has the wherewithal to have a shot when he shouldn't and then go home to barf yeah immediately yeah you know when he's about to leave he goes let's do some shots you're like All right, I'll see you later.

Because he's like, come on, don't be a pussy. Oh, actually, I got to go. Does he do the shot to boot on purpose to throw out? No, he assumes it's not going to happen every time. Oh. He does a shot thinking, let's turn this party up and it ends the party. Within 30 minutes of a shot, he will be at KFC. Man, he's fun.

He's fun to drink with. Yeah. He's one of those guys, like, if I find out, he gets sober, I'll be very upset. You know, when you miss one of your boys, one of your boys just fucking hangs them up. Yeah, you're like, yeah, everybody else's like, okay, that's good for you. Yeah. No, no, no, no. No.

What are you doing? When Steve Simone quit drinking, we're all like, no, don't, dude. Yeah, yeah. Don't. Yeah, he rolls. And he was like, no, I should, I embarrass myself? We met Eve. Remember Eve?

Yeah, yeah. We met her at, the rapper? Yeah. Yeah, let's go. At Jerry's Deli in whatever. We're all tuned up. He went over there and he was like, let me just entertain you. He starts jiggling like Farley.

And she's loving it. Yeah. And he goes, I made such a fool of myself. Like, dude, you got us in with Eve. That's what sobered him up? Yeah, but I'm like, oh. Eve jiggled at him. And puking in Caparola's car.

He got a brand new like Transaum and he puked in it. He goes, I'm gonna pull over. And Caparillo's like, no, no, we'll be home soon. He goes, I think that's a mistake you're making. Wait, what was they going to say about traveling, about doing stuff? When did you get over your fear of like getting out of the resort?

And how did you get over it? I'd never had a fear. It was more lack of experience. Just not no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then I was like, so the first resort we went to in Costa Rica, first of all, I got, it was like 4 p.m. when we landed, I was like, let's go to the pool. That's what you do at 20, 21. Nice.

Very excited. I'm thinking the UV razor down because I'm used to see I on Wildwood. So I'm like, I'm not going to get fucking burnt. Dude, I got toasted. You ran a DQ in Wildwood. That's what they did. Yeah. Did he really? Managers of a DQ and Wildwood. D.C.E. Yes. I'm like, this is great. That rules. You can, thank you so much. Thank you. You could put...

What you're just bitten it? Yeah. Damn it. And you're going to want to mix that. Why? Why don't you say that to me? Oh, because I have a straw already. Oh.

Oh, I get it. Okay. Yeah, so I got burnt so bad that you could leave an imprint, like a memory phone mattress. Yeah. On my... And it wouldn't come up for like an hour. So I was like, let's just go tomorrow.

Let's just go into the town. Yeah. So I paid this cab driver probably way too much. To get one. What? To just see the land. You know what I mean? Chase pigs.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm fucking no. No, I don't mean women like actual pigs. Yeah. Did they do that there? No, they're just, they're rampant.

There's like pigs on beaches and shit. Is that a real thing? That's serious. Yeah. What? Just rando pigs. In Costa Rica? Yeah.

I saw them. Show me that. No way. Yeah, search pigs in Costa Rica. Let's see what comes up. Let's see what comes up first. Okay. It's a real one.

Fired up. Pigs on beaches. Colored Peckery. Yeah, see? Can be found on beaches in Coca Rica. Okay, now put, now put in human pigs on the human pigs. Yeah, lady pigs in Costa Rica. Human pigs.

Let's see what we got here. Okay, did you ever see this? There's a pig. Look at that pig. Dude, this is the big thing. So some of them have tusks and some of them don't. Well, they rush it? Look at that chick feeding one with a bottle.

Well, this is what they do. These pigs know that these basic white bitches are coming for Instagram photos. Yeah. And they know they're going to feed them. It's because they want to get close to take a pick. Right. And I've seen a video of like this hot girl trying to be cute with one of these wild fucking island boars.

And a bitter ass took a chunk out. Yeah. hilarious. She's bleeding. Oh, look at that one. Baby. Yeah. What?

Yeah. What'd you do? What did I do? What did she do? Whoa! There's one. See? She's running.

Oh, my God. Oh, she's barely getting away from it. Yeah, they get fucking horny, dude. they're trying to bite ass you gotta get in the crack they bite edge all right well this trip sounds fucking great yeah here's something i do on this podcast towards the end which is i guess now is there anything else you wanted to say about cuba you remember no i think i think i got it all yeah i wish what yeah you wish no no i had i had a lot of other stuff on the the other phone that you would enjoy oh yeah so many more booms

I think we had a lot I ask everybody if you can Oh yeah you can send stuff We can put it in later If you have some cool ones We can drop it in over it Alright Where do you want to go

Next or whatever Like you've never been Yeah Or that you've been You want to go back I guess and then travel tips Either to Cuba or to anywhere I've never

I'm not well traveled Mostly Hot, fat-ass islands Caribbean shit Yeah I've been to Italy Three times Yeah

I'd like to go to Spain Okay Yeah Because Okay Nice Porquet's why right Yeah

Let's go See I've been I've been Duelingo in Why Spain What do you want to Spain Food

Yeah Culture Oh you're a chef too right I cook But you're high level And just cook You're an amateur chef Yeah

I even feel bad doing that That's like An open mic are saying in their traveling comic. I respect. It's like a D2 baseball player. Yeah. To chefs.

Okay. Yes. And the chefs in the pros. Yeah. Triple A, whatever. Yeah, yeah, I'm learning. I'm learning how to hit that fucking bottle cap, maybe. Yeah.

So Spain would be a lot of that. Yeah, I want to go to Spain. I want to go, I want to do European countries that are just more history and architecture. Bro. I think balancing, the travel tip is balancing the, the beach side of things, because I grew up, growing up in Philly, we always went to South Jersey beaches, like, C.L. Wildwood, Avalon. And then I'm so, like, this is what I miss most about

Austin is like I miss the beaches. I miss going an hour and a half away, even in New York, you just go right to rock away. You can get on the subway and be a far rock away. Yeah, yeah. And so I think like balancing that relaxation life with beach life and then going in learning, eating the food. It's like the Bourdain lifestyle. It's like, I'm obsessed with those travel cooking shows where like you get an understanding. He's spoiled because he knows all these insiders.

He knows him. He went and then went back. Yeah, and he's got a guy in every city and every country going. He's my buddy in Myanmar. Yeah, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, tell me your favorite cuisines. Where do you like to go late night?

You know, where's your favorite party spot? That's like, but that's a lifelong, I imagine. And, you know, that takes years and years and years of travel to figure out exactly how. Yeah. But at the same time, I would say don't plan too much so that you don't feel anxiety around, like, having to do too much. Yeah, I tell people, Niana's going to somewhere. Italy, maybe Italy. And she's like, I want to do a bunch of things.

And I was like, no, pick two cities and then be open to another one if you want to stop. Go to Tuscany. Go to Rome. Yeah. And then just like, and then just have it open. like I want to stay in Rome longer, like, then you can. 100%. And if I want to go going and just try, like, don't be like,

and there you can travel to all the places that are, you know, the mainstays. Yeah, I want to go to Portugal too. I really want to see it. So that is cool, though. When you're somewhere, like the beach life is like that's one of the joys of it. Like if you go to Jamaica, it's like, what Lewis says is like, it's tropical. It's the same thing all day, every day. Yeah.

You get to, you get to day three and you're like, I get it. Yeah, I'm relaxed. Yeah, but are you? At some point, you're like, cool. You overload the relaxation. You're like, how many times can I order this fucking daquery from the same fucking guy? Yeah, this guy says when you go, when you go like long-term travel and you're like really get gone, vagabonding. Yeah?

It's the best book for fucking leaving. Really? So this is like a dead, like you're very, you're intense about this. Yeah, I read this book on an island in Cambodia. I'd been carrying it around for a couple. That's not this one. Disgusting. This one I found in my old.

That's disgusting. What? Cambodia? No, I'm just. Sure, it's great. I want to go to Vietnam. Yeah. I'm dying to go to Vietnam. What do you want to do in Vietnam?

Again. What calls you? Food. The food. Bro. Culture. The Bonhese. Japan.

I haven't been to Japan. Me neither. That's where Bourdain says all the chefs. If you had one cuisine and one place to live the rest of your life, they say Japan. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I've been getting real heavy into fish.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm all meated out. Shout out sushi by scratch. Never trained in Japan? That's what sucks about. Austin that they call this a food city and it's not it's the same it's the same shit whatever they try to get me to move here me and de stepheno they worked really hard once when

they were still doing the Vulcan like the food's great here and we're both like you know we live in new york city yeah i miss it and then we walked home from kiltony on a monday we passed one open place at 1045 p.m yeah and like what are you talking about brisket egg and cheese yeah shitty taco way yeah something you just throw out the toilet and save 30 minutes of digestion barf if you really want to get us to move here you say The cabinet space we have is tremendous. Yeah. I mean, you were at my house.

You saw that house. It's fucking, for what? For that cost? In Queens? No. The one here. Oh, no, you weren't at the house here. Oh, okay.

What, what do you got? Something nice? It's nice. I mean, for the cost, it's crazy. It's a three bedroom, private backyard, driveway, garage. I got a golf net, my garage. You got a golf net. I got a fucking golf net.

But I'll tell you what, trade it all in for Queens food. I miss the fucking, I miss the Muslims. I miss the Greek seafood. I miss the Greek. Greeks. The mozzies. The muzzies. Fat-ass muzzies hiding those big fat dumps. Yeah. Some of them wear that fucking hood because they're too hot. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. The fathers make them do that. Because they know they just created a gym. You're like a, you're like a bad bitch. They don't want somebody to dump in that and fucking ruin the whole. Yeah. Especially somebody like me, darker than a peach.

Because those people suicide bomb beautiful things. Yeah. So. Right. And that's the one you use. They want to destroy art. Yeah. That's their art. Yeah. Their ass is the art. The face is the paintbrush. Persian queens, Persian princesses. The pussy's the palate. I'm not done. Oh,

okay. I had a good episode. It was a great episode. Yeah. Do you make you miss Cuba? I've never seen your show, but I imagine this was a really good one. I realized I said right before I was like,

oh, hey, we got to pick a place to talk about. You're like, oh, all right. I did not explain this right. I had, you didn't give me any. Nothing. I looked over the text and I'm like, oh, I for sure do not prepare.

Yeah. That was great based on that. I was like, you know what? Let's see what happens if somebody just rifts. You know, isn't it wonderful that some people can do this and some people can't?

I think that's like for Stuff Island our podcast, it's like you find out real quick what comics, because we don't have. Can roll with it. We don't, all we do is get up hungover.

You hit go. You hit the red fucking light and you just say one thing. You just talk and then go from there. You don't know where the fuck it's going to go. I did stuff Island one time. And I remember leaving. It was in the place

for Shane used to live. In Queens. yeah. Yeah. And I, On my way out, I, maybe I shouldn't say this, maybe I should. Why? I was shutting the door and I heard O'Connor go, let's not have him back.

I wish he said that. Yeah. I wish he said that. I have not been back. Baby, I just told you to come do it next week. Yeah, but you said it intentionally not in front of Chris. Also, the way we set up our podcast, I just told you, you think we plan ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so funny. Who do you want on next week? Toby said this is what Shane's aesthetic is. And he brought it to all the Philly guys. The aesthetic is trying is gay. Yeah. So let's not have good lighting. Let's not have good anything.

And anytime you try, it's like lame. So you're just like, and our couch is fine. It's already here. Yeah, I should be selling out theaters, but I don't want to get up. It costs me $25,000. That's the only problem.

It's me getting up late. Why I'm not selling out stadiums guys? When are you doing like a full tour? We're planning it now because last year we did an early tour and then I think we're going to do a later year tour I saw your first show back what I saw your first show back back so excited oh from my skankfest my six year delay yeah really yeah I was so we were all so excited for real are you being genuine yes wow yeah thanks man no we were all like wait a minute he's gonna go up yeah yeah we also

rushed into the back to watch that what was this it was at the worst stage at skangfest yeah the one we did big jay special but we had like make sure everybody was gone from there. Yeah. So we could like, the sound would bleed from the other, from the green room. Yeah, yeah.

But we're all like, what do you mean he's going to go up again? He's going to go up again? Let's go. You were so good for your first time in six years. I would have been like. Yeah, I was a mess.

And I didn't feel like. I still am. I mean, I feel like you're even like prepping. He just went on. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah.

I feel like you're being serious. Your jokes were still like, hey, Obama's crazy, huh? Yeah. Black people smell weird, don't they? But I killed. I killed. I'm kidding.

What's up with this no COVID situation we're in? Yeah. Are you having a hard time of Justin? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're all glad you're back to it. Thanks, man. Appreciate that. Anyway, well, fucking great.

Guys watch Stuff Island. Yeah. If this airs... If by chance this airs this week, I'm in Houston... It will 100% not. Oh, okay. Dude, this is six months after. All right, well, check out my Instagram for picks from Houston.

I got fucking I'm gonna have three boomerangs up on my Instagram Tommy J. Pope on Instagram I'm gonna warn you when this comes out I want you to go boomerang heavy the week leading up to this episode

for when people go to your Instagram they know you still walk to walk I'm serious about boomerangin There's one boomerang I really want to do I think I might have got it it's in the Alps beautiful surrounding and me pissing

and then the piss coming back out I like that missing coming back in I got to find that one yeah I'll see if I'm a I'm not doing JFK's assassination. Oh, nice.

Because the brains don't quite hit the back and they come. They come right back in. You ever see shitting on the beach? You guys know that one? Take and dive in the beach, shitting while he dies. Oh, yes. He goes reverse. And it's a huge.

It's a great shit. And it is a wealthy shit. As someone, as a public shitter. Yeah. I'm in all of this guy. Yeah, that's crazy. Because how do you run while you're about the shit? Yeah, that's a, his butt.

The reverse is just the greatest thing. The control on your butthole. just to open it up like a door like that. While you're in the air, I mean, you've got to concentrate on their legs. Also, the tension of jumping off a dock. Yeah, that's a clinch. It would close the asshole as a muscle.

The guy is, I mean, is another level. It's an athlete. It's an athlete. Yeah. Happy holidays, dude. What's your Instagram? Tommy J. Pope. Tommy J. Pope.

The J stands for. Don't do it. Joseph. I know you're a Jew. There's a secret one. Joseph with the German kind, J-O-S-E-P-H. The one that hides.

It's a thing on there. All right. Yeah, thanks, dude. Popeburg. See you later. Yeah, thank you. Well, that's the episode, everybody. I hope you enjoyed it.

Man, that was so good. Tommy Pope, you got to come back. Everybody reach out to him on Instagram. DM him right now and tell him you liked it and you want him to come back. Tommy J. Pope at Instagram.com slash Tommy J. Pope. I don't know how to do it. At tishton.com slash at Tommy Jepo.

You know what I'm talking about. Reach out to him right now. Let him know how good he was in this episode. I guess it's sponsored by Boomerang. Also, you should follow the U. You be chipping. and the UB. tripping

Instagram account because we're going to put up all those boomerangs. Caitlin's doing some wonderful things which does is she sucks off Heather and just really gets in that clit really hard really looks it with like a fervor that not many

women are into or experience with but man she makes it work. And she sucks it out so hard that she then quickly, while the victim is coming, she quickly goes online, handles the UB tripping pod Instagram account and then gets back to the real work, which is much in box. Also, we've reached out to people for the trip around the world for the Instagram.

I'm going to put up every skeptic tank on Instagram. I'm sorry, on Patreon, and I'm going to send someone on a trip around the world. If you've got an email, respond to that, and it should be, what are we in August? Say September, October, we should have somebody. Yeah, pretty cool. next week john ronson this is why you want to subscribe to this podcast john ronson's taking us to greece on a really he's got a new book coming out uh it's such a cool great episode full of deceit and heartbreak satanic rituals in greece on greece i've never heard of before that so definitely subscribe

make sure to check out Tommy pope on the road and check out his podcasts um um what of the two of them Stuff island which i've been on and look at dish get it look at this time pope's in Tampa Atlanta, San Diego, Nashville, Providence, Pittsburgh, Raleigh, Philadelphia, and West Niagara, get tickets right now. He has no website, so go to Punch Up Live and get tickets for him. He's really funny, and again, I'll say it again. He is the best drunk athlete in stand-up comedy of all time. I don't say that lightly.

I've actually never said that about anybody before. The best. He can rain threes, literally blacked out. Can't keep track of a score. It's like playing basketball against black people when they're like. I'm like dude it's not six one it was just four one I they love to argue while they play anyway um that's it I'm ready to go out I will say uh I said I was going to get something good about the world every week so here's today's good thing

Sierra Farrow you know her music she fucking rules she fucking rules that's it okay um that's it and see you next week subscribe bye Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca.