You Be Trippin' - Travel Roadblocks w/ Katie Nolan | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir
Episode Date: January 5, 2026Get out there and travel!!! Here is a link to the U.S. passport site if you need it DO IT NOW! https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports.html Follow Katie on Instagram here: https://www....instagram.com/natiekolan/ SPONSORS: -Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code TRIPPIN at https://mudwtr.com/TRIPPIN ! #mudwtrpod -Grab your own pair of The Dillon Freewaters flip-flops while supplies last at https://freewaters.com Thanks to YMH's very own Katelyn for help with this flipflop ad!!!! On this episode of You Be Trippin', Katie Nolan sits down with Ari Shaffir for a themed deep dive into Travel Roadblocks. Katie’s taken plenty of vacations, but she’s itching to do some real traveler stuff—and she’s honest about what’s holding her back. They talk through the big blockers: not knowing the language, worrying about cultural norms, the anxiety of looking like an obvious American abroad, and the whole overwhelming beast that is planning a trip. Ari dishes out his best seasoned-traveler advice, and Katie figures out what’s actually stopping her from getting out there. See ya, don't do anything I would do! You Be Trippin' Ep. 100 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - 100th Episode Introduction 00:12:20 - Language & Culture 00:31:46 - Trippy Stuff 00:42:33 - Pressure To Do It All 00:55:36 - Planning the Trip 01:15:38 - Katie's Next Adventure 01:35:08 - Sticking Out as a Tourist 01:53:47 - Outro, More Traveling Tips & 100th Episode Celebrations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello, everybody, and welcome to you be tripping, episode, episode 100.
It's been a great, almost, no, two years.
Going into the start of the third year, everybody, 100 episodes,
and I could not have done it without you, the watchers, and the listeners.
You guys have made it all kind of worthwhile and enjoyable for me,
and also all the guests that have come in.
But because this is 2026 and because 100 episodes becomes the first of the year,
I decided to make this one about resolutions.
What are we going to do this year?
What are the roadblocks you guys have to travel, to get it out there,
doing whatever you want to do?
Whatever it is. Maybe you want to go visit temples in Cambodia.
Why not do it this year? Maybe you want to go have diarrhea poop sprayed on your foot by a child through a ketchup bottle in India.
Maybe go ahead and do it or drink Belgian beer and eat waffles in Brussels.
I say, don't do that because you can literally do that anywhere in the world. It's really not that cool.
Maybe this is the year. You and you're a strange father reconnect and you go visit every Major League ballpark in America.
Maybe. Maybe this is the year you buy a you be tripping t-shirt.
Whatever you want to do, 2026 is going to be the year, and we cover everything getting in your way to make sure you can do it.
Let's not die without visiting another country this year for the first time.
So, also, by the way, while you're listening to this episode, why don't you go out and, or watching this episode, why don't you go out, Jesus Christ?
I mean, no, but.
Wow.
Look, you guys,
this is going to be the year you do stuff,
but you're not going to let anything get in the way.
So why don't you go and visit the passport agency
while you're listening or watching this episode.
Just on the sidebar, go, open an account,
make an appointment, and at least you'll have your passport
so you can start stamping it.
So when you do decide to travel, nothing is going to get in your way.
It's episode 100, everybody.
My guest today is Katie Nolan, someone who,
is devoutly, really never gone anywhere since she was a fucking little kid, little girl.
Her Instagram is at Nolan Katie, N-O-L-A-N-K-A-N-K-A-T-I-E.
Her podcast, The Casuals, she released every Tuesday and Thursday,
and her radio show, Fan Service Live, is at 12 p.m. Eastern Daily on Mad Dog Radio Serious X-M.
Wow.
Getting all this?
Guys, there's amazing places out there, and I know you want to go see them.
So we're going to cover everything you have.
have to do in order to be able to go out and, I don't know, accomplish your travel goals this
year. So nothing will get in your way. You're going to tell your friends, hey, I'm going to do it
this year. I'm going to do it. I'm going to go, you know, wherever. I'm going to go eat guinea pig
in Ecuador. Whatever you want to do, you're going to do it. And this episode is going to help you
get there. It's been 100 episodes for me, everybody. Whatever your travel goals are,
you're going to find. A minor to continue visiting two new countries every year. I got six this year.
whatever years are you're going to do it and you're going to get those barriers out of the way
it's 100 episodes of you be tripping everybody i couldn't have done it without you i'm so stoked
26 it's a year of accomplishing your goals travel wise that's it play the music
where you've been and where you're going this is our race travel show yeah we're going to talk
about travel today.
It's U.B. Trippin, yeah.
All right, everybody, welcome to U.B. Trippin.
It's a travel podcast.
If you don't know, every week I go to a different place with a guest.
The Pleasant Blitz have been.
We're not experts.
Pretty clearly, we're not experts.
And it's the only podcast in America right now that has never had any drama.
No one's fucked anybody's girlfriend.
Yes.
No one's talk shit about comedians, how they're doing better than them, but not as
better than them as they should.
It's a travel podcast, everybody, just fun times.
And today, straight from TMZPN, she left.
What happened to that network?
And now straight to your hearts from the casuals podcast, Katie Nolan, everybody.
It's me clapping for me.
Hi.
Katie, where are we going today?
Is this where I tell you I said yes to this because you asked, but I don't travel like this.
So I have like pretty much nothing to tell you about.
This is where you would tell me that.
This would be the point.
I'm trying to do this.
It's not necessarily my year of yes,
but I am trying to,
my agents and everything are always like,
you're saying no to everything all the time.
And you're about to leave for a little bit
and I wanted to see you before you go.
And so I wasn't going to say no to this.
But I have been over the last few days,
Dan has just heard me pacing the apartment being like,
I don't know a story.
Dan is her father.
I don't know.
She lives with and takes care of.
That's exactly right.
He's very sick and very tall.
So I don't have like a good story.
A good crazy shit that happened.
I studied abroad in Australia
That's fun
For a couple months
But I did it during the summer
With somebody else's school
So like I didn't do it right
And it's I don't know if you know this
When it's summer here in Australia
It's not summer
Cool, how cold did it get there
It rained a lot
It was mostly rain
Really?
Yeah it was but everybody there was hot
That's all my main memory
From being in Sydney
Was like everybody's hot and skinny
I remember just the women
Wore bikini tops as bras
And they just
just like, hey, it's how I'm going to take this off
and just have like shorts with bikini tops
or jeans with bikini tops and I am for it.
I was at my fattest.
I gained that there's a box of Tim Tams behind you
that I clocked when I came in.
I used to eat those.
I would eat like, I discovered them when I got there
and was like this is the greatest thing
I've ever had in my life.
And I think I probably had like
at least two of those a week.
The Tim TAM 10.
Yeah, I gained the Tim TAM 10.
It was a lot.
I also learned to surf while I was there
and getting into a
wetsuit when you're at your personal fattest weight
is a real, I don't wish that on anyone.
Because the wetsuit also goes straight up
and then when it has to go out and back in.
When you're just like trying to get into it
and you're like, that's not my leg.
That's what two of my legs are supposed to be.
It was really, with a bunch of strangers.
I went to the other side of the world
with a bunch of kids who all went to be you together.
And I went to Hofstra.
So it was like a, I don't know why I did that, Ari.
And that's kind of why I'm here.
I need you to teach me out of travel.
Brad Van Bradikoff?
Who's the great coach there?
Butch Van Bratikov?
Are you attempting to connect with me?
Hofstra?
Like football?
Basketball.
I was going to say football was over by the time I got there.
Probably.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Listen, rarely do I get to have a sports expert in here.
And when I ever have an expert, if I can...
Not an expert.
I just like it.
I just like watching it.
It's more ephemeral to me.
I'm less of a stat head.
I hope you're wrong.
but you probably not.
It would be very funny if you were wrong.
I love that it keeps saying casuals podcast
because you typed that in at one point.
Hofstra?
Yeah.
Okay, let's see.
Legendary coach,
Butch Van Breitikoff.
Nice.
Oh, died.
Well, of course.
I don't know.
Everybody does.
Nice.
How did I remember that?
I mean, what was the year that it was,
wait, sorry.
Coach Foster from 50.
95 to 1965 to 1962.
Why the fuck?
Fuck what I know.
In his first stent with Hofstra.
Okay, then when?
Let's see it here.
Look at him.
He's in black and white.
You know it's always in black and white.
Thanks you were telling me you're spying on me.
The Pride of Long Island.
Is that our official website?
What an ugly head or what is?
Uh, coached in the NBA.
Doing?
I don't know.
Basketball shit.
Teaching young men, making young men into boys.
Long career.
So we coached Hofster from.
From, yeah, 55 to 62.
Your eyes are good enough for this?
Damn, that's a lot easier.
Okay, first stint with Hofstra.
5-21 seasons in seven years, that's something.
5-21 seasons is great for Hofstra.
Well, we were good.
We had a minute there.
Born in 1922, you would never.
Why would I know this person?
And they were still the Flying Dutchman then.
I wish.
We were the Pride.
The Pride?
Yeah, I guess Flying Dutchman was somehow deemed defensive.
I never really looked into it,
but I'm like, that's a ship.
Hey, so I got one I want to push.
You know how they're like, got to rename the Redskins, got to rename the Indians, got it whatever.
I'm not going to weigh in on that.
What I will do is let's take it further.
The twins are regressive against twins.
In what way?
You're naming them after a group of people, twins.
This feels like something you've been so excited about.
I do.
And I want the Scalar brothers to head it up.
To what end?
For what?
Fun.
And what would you rename them?
I don't know.
The lakes?
The lakes?
I don't know.
Minneapolis.
I mean, whatever.
Anything, the wet spots?
Yeah.
The Minneapolis wet spots?
I mean, if it...
I know it's Twin Cities.
I understand that.
Right, right.
I'm not talking about that.
No.
I'm talking about we don't really care, to be honest.
Sure, but you're just pretending.
And so the Padres is offensive to fathers.
We'd have to change that.
I like where you're going with this.
I hadn't even considered that.
Right, of course.
To Latino fathers.
That's right.
Or to, or even to what?
Religious people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are Padres?
Like, they're like...
Like a reverend, a father?
I think so.
Father, not the father of the son of the Holy Ghost.
No.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Okay, so the twins is offensive.
I'm sure you could get it there.
I think you've got less of a strong argument than, say, the Indians or the Redskins.
So let's do a theme episode.
Okay.
What, how should we, do you have any interest in traveling?
I would love to be a lady who travels.
I, in my mind, when I close my eyes, who is Katie Nolan?
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, she's adventurous.
she's fun and free and unencumbered none of those things are actually true okay so when it comes to
traveling much like let's say a wedding the plan stage is where i get frozen because i could go
anywhere i could see myself enjoying any of these things what i can't do is speak a lot of languages
you don't need to it's best time okay let's talk about it go ahead let's talk about it so like how
how are you going to so many countries where you cannot communicate?
Okay, here, we're going to do this.
We're going to do a brand new note.
We're going to bring it over here.
Katie's problems with travel.
Okay.
Okay.
I fear that if I can't communicate, if I can't express myself,
boom.
How will I get around?
How will I problem solve?
Okay.
Let's go.
Where is this?
Here we go.
language is one yeah yeah capitalize it fine yeah you know this way I'm that asshole
fucking come on come on give me a give me a fucking break here you ride me like a fucking
brady cough practice oh god this is gonna be the theme of the episode um oh yeah oh yeah what was
officers oh they're right you told me okay language that's number one yeah you want to go into
all these and then solve them all or do you want to go one by one oh that's a good question it's
your podcast so what fits better into your usual format okay it's my podcast but i will let you know
what um i am one of the worst hosts in podcast okay the reason i'm successful is because i started
before everyone yes which i would advise everyone to do right start before everyone it's too late
yeah um it's actually i'm like the last one in this new podcast when i made it they said no more
podcasts after casuals we are done it's it you're in the eighth wave right now and we were there in
the middle but I whatever okay so we can go one by let's go one by one because I have to think
of them as we talk and so I don't like know my list so how about this though how about this if you
think of one as we're in one go oh by the way I've thought of another one we'll put it in the note
and then we'll get back to it we'll get back to it perfect okay language yeah okay um
there's google translate now one if you're going to any major tour if you're not going to the jungle
or anything like that or super super small towns everybody speaks English we live in beneficially
and disbeneficially, the number one language.
Not really.
Isn't technically Chinese the number one language?
Oh, yeah, but okay.
But you just mean because there's so many people on China.
That I'm being annoying.
Chinese don't count.
Okay, what?
You don't come in contact with them.
They don't speak any of the language.
So Chinese are like, you watch Walking Dead ever?
No.
But I hate where this is going.
You familiar with it?
Yes, as a concept, zombies.
Yeah, and it was like people become the enemies
in every zombie movie.
And then after season one of any of these,
the zombies become just the background.
And that's Chinese.
They're just the background.
They're there to make sure that whatever you're visiting,
tour of sites is no longer fun and to pack it up and go home.
What are you talking about?
They have no sense of personal space.
They fucking take photos of the sunset with an iPad in front of you.
So what?
They're the worst.
That's a nice big photo of the sunset.
They don't meet up with anybody.
They stick to themselves.
So if you meet somebody from like rural,
which I respect.
Rural Denmark.
Yeah.
They might not speak English.
They're going to try their best because they're going to stay with you guys.
They're going to try to be friendly.
The mandarin, they just don't.
Okay, sure.
All right.
So you say America's English is the number one language.
Yeah, there's a German and a Spanish guy, and they're in a hostel together.
They're speaking English.
Do you ever have, feel guilty at the lack of an attempt to understand the culture that you're observing?
Okay.
Here we go.
Rico. Wait, where is this?
Because I would feel guilty. We went to, Dan and I went to a wedding in Guatemala.
Okay. And we lost our friend that, or maybe when we were flying back, the friend we have that
speak Spanish wasn't flying on with us. And in that airport, I felt so guilty that I could not
just, they couldn't tell me I had scissors in my bag and that it needed to go back through
security because I don't speak Spanish. Yeah. And I felt like, what an ignorant American I am.
unable to communicate with people who I should be communicating with.
That's valid.
I felt bad about that.
That's totally valid.
And I suck at learning languages.
I'm too old.
Let me try to assuage.
Nice.
Those fears, that right?
I think.
It's not wrong enough where you're like, definitely not.
They knew what you meant.
You ever have someone say a word?
What did you mean by that?
I don't actually need you to spell it?
I'm almost positive.
That's wrong.
But let me see what you mean.
Use it in another sentence.
When you meet someone in New York,
You come across somebody from another country
and they're barely able to communicate with you
to try to ask for directions.
Are you mad at them?
No, but I'm different.
I'm a sweetie pie.
Not everybody everywhere is a sweetie pie.
And I don't know if you know this,
our international reputation right now
I don't think is like booming.
I don't think people are like,
shout out Americans.
They're really level-headed, cool people.
I'd love to help them in any endeavor
in which they need my help.
Yeah, okay.
That's another one.
We'll get to that.
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episode the language let's do that first yes but i like this we're going to keep doing this is good
okay already pause don't cut that i tell them to cut stuff but that's not just you and me pause yeah
um i like the way this is going good okay
I could have gone bad
When I walked in
I was like Ari might not be a friend anymore after I mean
You definitely should have told me
Oh actually I have not been anywhere
I know but we're working it out
It's a year of yes and I'm here for it
Thank you
Year of maybe
Yeah most places
We'll speak English in touristy places
I don't assume you're going to go to like deep deep
places so I want to split the difference
between like a resort you never leave
And a like too far into like a jungle
I want to split the diff in my train
traveling.
You can learn, Google Translate is right there, to the point now where you can talk
into it and speaks back.
Huh.
Yeah.
I was in Paris, July and August, but August everything shuts down.
So I was in a place, whatever, that didn't matter.
But I couldn't tell this guy I wanted this kind of cheese and this kind of sausage.
And I was like trying, trying.
And then I just spoke into it.
And he goes, oh, okay.
And then he spoke into it back.
Huh.
And then we got it.
It was like, thanks a lot.
Didn't seem to mind at all.
none of that robots yeah the answer yeah number two yes so you can also just type in there any
word or whatever you can it's fun to learn like 10 words and it is please thank you you're
welcome bathroom restaurant um hello goodbye um one two three and that's gonna get you buy a lot
I feel like left and right are helpful too.
Maybe.
Like directions-wise.
That's another level of where it is.
But if somebody foreign came up to you and go, I'm trying to think.
Wear bathroom.
Yeah, wear a bathroom.
You'd get it.
Yeah.
I'd go, I don't, I'm sorry, where bathroom?
I can't wear a bathroom.
Are you asking me where is the bathroom?
I was in Hong Kong doing shows and somebody had a joke that.
what I remember was going how unhelpful they are.
It goes, if you mispronounce it slightly,
they go, I don't know what you're talking about.
Like, you fucking know.
You know, exactly what I'm going to visit New York and go,
where's the employer state building?
Yeah, I wouldn't go, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
But I will make fun of you behind your bed.
Employer, what the fuck.
Sure.
Right, but to your face, I'll go.
It's right there.
I do know what you mean at least.
Yes, of course.
Yes, of course.
So you can learn that and it's fun.
And then you put it into practice and you go, you know, do, dose, whatever.
And then point, it's fun.
You can get by.
Okay.
okay
It's kind of exciting
Okay
So there's that
Yeah
Google Translate
And then learn a little bit
of the language anyway
Yeah and learn it anyway
And you put it into play
And then you ask somebody
How to say a word
If somebody knows
You know all here
You don't change
If you travel you don't change
The language it's fine
All here you change it all the time
All here you change it all the time
Every new country
You're like I've got to start over
And it's annoying
But Google Translate
I saw a
Chinese woman
and a German girl
This is antithetical to your whole argument before
interacting with each other
Yeah
Interesting
She was one of the good ones
The exception
That proves the rule
And they were flirting with each other
In Thailand at a bar
With Google Translate
And they had sex
And they didn't speak
How do you know that?
How do you know that?
I talked to the guy later
And I saw them leave
And I was like, what happened?
It goes, yeah I mean, you know
It's doable
You're absolutely right there
is technology that I could learn how to use and could aid me in this.
A lot of it is my, like, I wouldn't say I have social anxiety that's going a little far.
Yeah.
But sometimes with like, the best example is like entering into a thing that is like a well-oiled
machine and having to jump in and know the way of it makes me anxious sometimes.
It's like if you go to a restaurant that everybody goes to that has like a counter service
and there's a way to order and you go in not knowing anything and you get very like, I'm
doing it wrong and I'm sorry I'm just trying my best that's how I feel a lot of the time
if I'm traveling where I'm just like I'm trying not to do it wrong my first time I got it
in and out you know the secret menu on in and out yeah and so I was so excited I learned about it
you're like I know the secret I will have one animal style please you give a big wink yeah
and it goes well how do you want that I go fuck what do you mean and prep for this double double
single I'm like oh man I learned this I was so excited yeah and that's in America yeah
but I get that too where it's like I get nervous of like I'm I'm I'm I'm
doing this so wrong and someone somewhere is in a corner going like oh my god yeah it gets
easier the longer you've been there yeah you ask a few people like what's how do you do this and
actually that's kind of one of the benefits you learn about how they do things a certain way which is
living I believe they call it that's life that's what within a time when all I do is bitch about how
much I hate I'm on my phone it's like well go see the world go see the world bump into it learn
from it I go oh wow they do things differently here right and you just yeah you just
kind of like notice it right it kind of like shows you stuff about your way that they live yeah
it makes you kind of look at your life different where you're like oh here it's like a customary to
it's like I don't know way different cultures deal with like their elderly and you're like oh that's
so different than so my friend rolf he's a travel writer he speaks all the time and uh at schools
and he goes I mean almost every single time they've asked him if he's had dog if he's eaten
dog and he goes it's just bound to come up he's really gotten he's traveled forever into
weird places yeah and he's always like you guys are gonna fucking that's
and they're like have you or not and he goes yes I have however in the places
that's served dog and don't think twice about it they look at the way we treat our
elderly at shockingly bad so let's not judge them because it goes both ways right
I couldn't figure out how to do it I was trying to thank you Katie it took me 10
episodes of blocking people's faces before I
realize myself so I know I appreciate it yeah there's that thing that is that thing of like am I
doing this wrong I don't know and then it could get you in trouble where you're like this
seems wrong but I won't say anything and then and then one time some guy tried to jerk me off
from the back of a bus in Vietnam and I thought he was just being too close I didn't know we're going
that way I thought he's just too close and then I go oh my god we're here I don't what are we doing
here yeah and I was like okay he's close maybe that's just closer than my culture would get
or I don't want to say anything right I'm not I don't want to
to be an American prude or something.
And then all of a sudden you're completing the hand,
you're coming on your own belly.
And you're like, what am I doing?
He's not to completion.
I stopped him.
Oh.
I stopped him, Katie.
That's like a bad haircut.
I could see myself if I had a dick in that situation being like,
I'm just going to let him finish me.
And then I'll deal with the repercussions of that therapy by myself.
I met Becky on at Planchett at the coffee shop.
Yeah.
And he was waiting for therapy.
And I saw him in the back and I walked by him, but I like brushed by him with my leg.
it's the bathroom and then he didn't look up and then I brushed by him again he was like and then
it's like oh it's you he was like I was so ready to fight because the first time I thought was an
accident and the second time I was like who the fuck is this yeah um yeah those cultural things are
like that's a bit of anxiety and then you learn it yeah and like oh this is how they do things here
and it's kind of fun and then you're like I kind of I think I want to start doing that myself
that is cool yeah where you like learn from that and adapt you know take a little bit from
everybody that's what that's our culture that's lame that's a dumb way to do things yeah you'd suck I'll
observe that you do it while we're here but once I leave I will not be taking this with me yeah
in China and a lot of places they have all these like I call them districts so they're like
every store is a shoe store for three straight blocks huh and then every store in another district
we do that's a little bit here but not as probably not exactly and I want to tell them like hey
you'll make a lot more money if you're the only shoe store yeah what if you're the flower store
next to the shoe store instead of being the flower store
among a sea of flower stores. Oh, while I'm getting shoes
oh, I'll make sure to get flowers. There's got to be
a reason. There's got to be. Delivery
maybe ease of the
truck only has to go to one
just spitballing, I don't know. That could be it.
Yeah, I don't know. It still bothers me.
Ecuador, they do that too. They do a lot of places.
So China, if you're listening, and why would you be after what we said
before?
They are the worst stories. I'll stand by it until I die.
Fix it.
Yeah. I mean,
they're doing fine.
Just fine.
Jaina.
Check next to language.
You need to check that little.
Because how do you feel about the answer?
I didn't know Google Translate was at the point where it was speaking out loud and also speaking out loud for them.
So I think that sounds like it solves my problem.
Yeah.
So when you get stuck in a place where you're like, oh shit, this guy really doesn't know English at all.
Right.
There it is.
Okay.
Okay.
Learning about culture.
Should we do that next?
Yeah.
I feel like we did we got it a little bit in there yeah well a lot of people go travel and go
well you've met all these people but you didn't learn anything about the culture I think that's
I don't think that's why you're even going is to talk to locals and learn about the culture
I think you're going to like Jamaica to go to a beach yeah and you're going to Paris to eat
fine restaurants you don't have to know about their food habits or about like how they
vacation or something like that you can you can get it but that's actually not the reason
you're going and I want to meet like other travelers right like oh
this like Dutch guy who's in my hostel and then we're, yeah, I, I, I, like, I feel like
eat, pray love ruined a generation of people traveling because it made you feel like you
would have this unique, like, you know, where you'd bump into a family who would then do this
and then the, and you're just like, it's not really that. It's sort of, um, just what it is. It's sort of,
you sightsee. Right. But some of those sightsees are pretty,
pretty fucking cool and then sometimes you're just like waiting in line with another crowd
of people and you're like it's not really even that cool of a thing yeah i don't sight see that
much i mean if you go to the western wall or the louvre or like or like the berlin wall
traveled i guess you went to the louvre when you went to paris yeah and i've been to the western
wall
The Burt Crusher flip-clops.
Take them somewhere fucking cool, man.
I'm going to go in and out of this stuff and ask you a little about your trips.
Did you get laid in Australia?
No, but they are.
The social, the way they moved at bars was so different.
like one again I wasn't at my most confident I wasn't really out there for that it was mostly chocolate based a chocolate based trip um Katie I gotta think of a nickname but they uh there was a guy that hit on me when we were leaving a club one night um and they warned us about this in like our orientation they were like Australian men will call you that night like they will reach out the night they get your number they don't um it was a little and but then it was also like go away
I was just talking to you and I chose to leave.
I didn't want to talk to you anymore.
What are you doing?
But no, I don't think, I did not, I did not get laid.
I did not get laid in Australia.
Okay.
All right.
Whatever.
Did you make friends?
Maybe some, yeah.
I have like a lifelong friend, Anez, who still lives in, in, I mean, Australia.
I don't actually know where specifically.
The names of things when it's not the main cities are very funny.
What city were you in or did you travel?
I was in Sydney.
Okay.
It was in Sydney.
I went up to, um,
Melbourne for like a day, day trip there.
Down to Melbourne.
That's what I meant.
No, it's, oh yeah, you're right.
It's okay.
But we went up here for something else.
Brisbane? Cairns?
No, it was like, it was part of the Great Barrier Reef, but it was like not a big
cool part.
Cairns.
Yeah, maybe.
That sounds right.
Cairns.
Yeah.
Like a Cairn Terrier.
Do you went on the Great Barrier Reef?
Yeah, but it was like pretty dead by the time I was there.
So it wasn't bright pink.
It was like a little gray.
and I just kept thinking a fish was touching me
and I didn't like it
so I don't think I had like the best time
That's a lifer thing though
Yeah it was
To go to the Great Barrier Reef
It wasn't what I pictured it to be
And I think that's because you get what you pay for
And I don't think I was, I was a college student
So I was just like going up to see it
I wasn't like
Training for it or anything
Okay
I got one for later
Oh also weed drugs put drugs down
What do you mean finding them?
Yeah
Finding them and not getting arrest
or trafficked or you know having to seek out drugs when you know nobody trust being able to
trust the drug that you get from a random person oh yeah okay I can get to all these good
yeah for every for every reason that's to not go it's like sure but yeah I mean what
are we said a day-to-day problem drugs yes drugs yes I feel like I need to I
I'm on vacation.
You want to find them.
I want to do drugs.
I want to smoke a little weed.
What do you do?
What's your drugs?
Weed.
Just.
Just weed.
What about like if you're like, what about party drugs?
I've never done, I've never done ecstasy.
MDMA is that ecstasy?
I've never done coke.
All right.
I stay home and play video games and watch sports and watch stand-up comedy.
That's my life.
I snuggle with my dog.
I order food
I read books
I don't like I'm not
Do you dance?
I'm minored in dance in college
I dance my whole life
Club dance
I would
Dan's not much of a dance
We're not like going out and shaking our hips
But he will dance with me
If I make him
Don't tell anybody I said that
Do you ever be cut that out?
No I just I just feel like
I could see him being like no I don't
It's a pretty good dance
Um, okay, that's fine.
Yeah, weed.
Yeah.
Why were you going to say, because I dance, I should do ecstasy?
I mean, it's more fun.
The pitch to me that unsold me.
They were like, you, um, you think you know what happy is until you've done this drug.
And then you'll, and that's when I was like, I don't want to unlock a new level of happy,
because then I'll want that all the time because I'm depressed.
So I would be constantly seeking that happiness.
Are you on anything?
I just stopped my antidepressant, but I have ADD, so I'm on generic adderol.
I would, next time we talk-
Which is Coke, is it not?
So it's kind of the same.
Next time we talk to your doctor, run by, just ask him, like, hey, did the, do what, am I on, what I'm on, does that, whatever, negatively with mushrooms, MDMA, or, okay, not that I'm doing it, but just whatever knows, is this could be more dangerous or less, or does, well, just negate it.
That's just good advice, kids.
Write that down.
You can get weed in any hostel.
Okay.
You should have to go to a hostel.
My brother did this when we were at a family trip to Costa Rica.
I'm scared.
I should be the weed guy.
Yeah.
How old were you in this?
It was 2017.
Okay.
Plenty old.
Plenty old.
Plenty old.
Known as a weed guy.
Yeah.
At this point.
It was embarrassing.
Me and Rogan and Duncan once, we were in a whatever, trying to like roll a joint and none of us could do it.
And then Rogan's like, guys, if you're,
this got out that we couldn't roll a joint we'd be done anyway you guys just like get in a put it
in an apple smoke it I think we found someone else we found an usher like hey could you do this for us
that's great but he was like I'll do it my brother was like I'll do it he went into a hostel
and came out with weed huh so there's that Tom Rhodes's advice is just there's a statue in
a square in every town stand by the statue and within an hour probably much less someone will
offer you weed huh no one's ever laced weed true there's never been a story of someone true
that's why yeah that's part of it where i can i recognize it that's why i don't do weed in like the
cartridges i only do flap because i'm like i want i recognize it i see it i know what the worst is
gonna be is oregano yeah and you're like you motherfucker and you've lost money delicious though yeah but
you didn't nothing bad's going to happen right okay so that solves that i guess also my friend
i'm remembering this now who's works as a waiter ask any waiter how do i get weed good point
And that's what me and my brother did in a lot in Israel.
And it worked.
We asked a waiter, he goes, I know a guy I can call.
They definitely be offended.
You don't ever worry that someone's going to go like, I'm a police officer.
Bang.
Not waiters.
No.
No, but I mean like standing by a statue.
Okay.
So do a little research.
Okay.
I'm a bad traveler.
Even though I travel a lot, I'm not great at it.
I talk a big game and then I don't do what I actually stay.
You should do.
Love that.
I love that kind of person.
So I was in Greece.
I finished my last show of my European tour and I was like, I'm going to walk home.
70 degrees out and the guy's like no I'll drive you the promoter and I'm like no I'm fine
he goes no no it's safer I'm like buddy I travel a lot I'm actually a big traveler I know what I'm
doing and he goes well if you know what you're doing you know you're going to walk through the heroin
district to get home so he goes let me drive you a half hour the other way and then you'll be
fine but that's dumb what you're doing I wouldn't walk there so I love that shout out that guy
yeah he was right do a little research and how illegal it is okay you know because you don't
want to be like, you know.
Let's look at New York seven years ago.
If you got caught with weed by a cop,
he would almost, almost completely,
white chicks say you gotta drop that.
And that's the end of it.
Right.
China, maybe not, you know, do a touch of research.
Yeah, okay.
And almost everywhere, it's either legal, Spain's legal now.
Really?
Yeah, Switzerland's legal.
Sick.
So, or it's like, it's not a big deal.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
solved yeah so you find weed that way anyway um you might pay too much but who cares right
yeah that's vacation the money doesn't count the same it's like calories i would not advise
taking weed with you to a country and that i wouldn't do because that at any point could be yeah that's
like especially i don't think it's how it works but i think about all of the borders you'd cross
and i'm like they add those up that's like a bunch of i'm in a lot of trouble yeah and that's where
the dogs are i think at the when you land from a foreign
in place.
Yeah.
And I would just, you know,
crumple under any sort of pressure.
As soon as I'm interrogated,
I'm just like,
I'm sorry about luck.
I'm pissing my pants.
No.
Yeah.
So weed's gone.
Maybe?
Yeah.
We can figure that out.
Yeah.
Ask a degenerate.
Weeds done.
Well, yeah, but it's different.
I don't just walk up to a degenerate.
You know, at the hotel when they're checking you in,
if they look, seem normal.
Yeah.
Oh, also, anyone who recognize.
as you, fell free to ask.
Yeah, okay.
That's not going to happen to me as much, I don't think, Ari.
If you're with Dan, too.
Yeah, that's true.
But it's always, they finance bros.
That's not always.
Right.
But sometimes.
Get me weed finance, bro.
Get me weed.
Okay.
Should we go on another one of these?
Can we count that as a check?
Yeah, I think so.
I think we figured out how to get weed in a foreign country.
Okay.
Yeah, and it is fun.
Sometimes it's so fucking strong.
Yeah, that is the,
You got to, like, take it slow.
Look, I'm a baby.
I smoke weed almost every day, but it's not like I'm, like, smoking a ton of it.
Right.
Smoke, like, a very little bit of it.
And then I go, like, you're happy.
That's it.
Yeah.
I just put my shoulders back and go, everything's fine, actually, for the next hour.
Yeah.
Dude, I found some weed in Ecuador, and it was 30 bucks for 30 grams.
Yeah.
Which I don't understand how cheap that could be.
Yeah.
Took me, like, a week to find it because it was COVID, and it was, like, don't come near me kind of time.
Remember that?
Yeah.
And I was like, well, this must be the worst.
It was like psychedelic.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I was like seeing like lines in the sky and stuff.
Sick.
It did me well.
Yeah, good.
Congrats.
Thanks.
Learning about culture.
Do we get to that?
I think we kind of did.
We kind of did.
We kind of did, I think.
Reputation of Americans.
That's like they all hate us.
We have a bad reputation.
I think so.
I didn't say that, but they don't.
No.
that's here's what they see as Americans these people come here and we charge them for a meal
and they give us more than we charge them it's nuts we fucking love Americans they see it's
a hundred dollars and they just give us 120 I don't know what's wrong with them but we love
them okay they love our they love our music or our movies and the travelers aren't the
dipshits from the fucking you know yeah that you see online or whatever they're people who are
like worldly enough to go out and do something fun yeah so I just don't think that's the
version of us they hate our politics sometimes and our colonialism you know but then also
anybody's going to be like oh you guys do this like give me two minutes to see what your country's
done wrong yeah also I don't even know of you yeah what about yeah or you just go we're number one
yeah that works I think that that counteracts their thoughts of us yeah it's like we're really don't
have that reputation.
Yeah.
Because that's not who they come in contact with.
Okay.
Where would you want to go?
I can't believe you went to the Great Barrier Reef.
That's really cool.
Is it?
Yeah.
That's life or shit.
Yeah.
And here's my thing.
I like live in the moment and then my memory of it is like gone.
I don't, I use it up.
I experienced it.
I could not tell you specifics about it.
But you know what I can tell you?
What?
The capital of every single one of these.
No way.
Mm-hmm.
Tuvalu is
Oh shit
I started in the hardest part
Samoa is Apia
Vanuatu is Port Vila
Tonga
I think is either
I know it
It's in there
It'll come to me
What's capital
Turkmenistan?
Turkmenistan is Ashgabat
Wow
Mm-hmm
Where did you get this skill?
I studied them when I had to do Celebrity Jeopardy
I was just like, let me just learn all the countries
and all their capitals.
Indonesia.
Jakarta.
Yeah, you know that one.
That's great.
First of all, have you heard of?
Turvallo before.
Apparently, it's not Kiribati.
Here's the thing, because I taught myself,
I can't pronounce anything right.
I just say it the way that I read it to teach it to myself.
The capital of that one is Tarawa.
Wow.
Nauru or whatever.
That's Yaran.
What?
Yeah.
These aren't even countries people have heard of.
Yes, these are.
Well, yeah, you're right.
They aren't.
And I had never heard of them until recently.
Papua New Guinea is, oh, it's Port Moresby.
It says it right there, so that felt like cheating.
Okay, Gabon.
Okay, that is Libraville.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
God damn.
Yeah, dude, I'm out here.
Oh, my God.
United States of America.
Ooh.
L.A.
Do you know Greenland?
Not a country.
It's Denmark.
So the capital of Denmark is what, is that Copeland?
Hagen, which...
Looks like it.
There's a star there.
Or is that Sweden?
I get the Stockholm, Sweden.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so, you know, I have that if you ever need it.
Wow, what a party skill.
It's been fun.
That's a great party skill.
I used to not know where anything was.
Now I could, if you took all the names off of the...
You need to leave the lines, but if you took the names off of Africa, I could tell you every...
Chad?
The capital of Chad is Enjamaena.
I don't know if that's how you say it.
I don't know if that's...
I say it.
Yeah.
What about night?
We're going to skip that one.
What about Sudan?
Sudan is cartoon.
Wow.
This is nuts.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
What did you just sit there and study all day?
What?
Yeah, I just learned them.
I felt like I should know.
What happened was, I was afraid they were going to ask me a question about a country
or a city and I would name a country.
Like if they ask, like, in what city and I would say a country?
And people would be like, that's so dumb.
So first I was like, I'll study all the countries.
I'll make sure I know the name of every country.
And then I was like, well, while I'm doing that,
I might as well know where they go.
And once I knew where they were,
then I was like, I should probably know at least the capital.
I had this, Monroe Martin on this podcast.
He went to Kenya, and we referred to the country as Nairobi for most of it.
That's very funny.
He goes to Nairobi passport stamp.
That's very funny.
And people had to crunches and go back like, guys, fix the cover.
That's pretty funny.
Yeah.
And he went.
Yeah.
So that's useless.
but a nice little diversion.
Okay.
Social anxiety, maybe.
Just like, I feel like we also did this
with learning about culture.
It's like I'm just worried of...
Oh, right.
That's what the learning about culture was.
I know me, and I know if given the opportunity
to just stay home, a lot of the time I will.
So I think I need a plan,
but not too much of a plan
that I'm now overwhelmed with trying to plan
the perfect trip.
I need to know how to strike the difference there
in between those two.
where it's like planned enough but with room to move.
But if I don't plan anything, I won't leave.
I'll just like enjoy the hotel room.
Which is lame and you know that.
So lame.
The worst possible way to travel.
Yeah.
So how do we overcome that?
Plan.
But like how much?
There's also something just to get you moving.
Yeah.
So it's either I'm going to go out and get coffee.
I'm just going to go walk until I get coffee.
Even when I moved to New York, I was like, I want ice cream.
I'm going to bypass that until I find gelato.
and just it gets you learning the streets.
So that travel writer guy,
he talks about psychogeography
as a way to get you moving.
Yeah.
And different people look for different things.
So you just kind of walk around
unless it's freezing cold and like notice something.
So he was doing it in Paris.
You notice that black cat that was everywhere.
That shot, the shot Negro or something like that.
I mean, that's black cat in French, so.
Right, the shot, what is it?
that's it
that shot noir
yeah that thing
and he goes I'm just gonna go walk around
and every time I notice that I'm gonna go up to it
and just take note of it
and it's gonna get me moving around the city
and what is it
I don't know
an old book
but there's like
in its heyday it was a bustling nightclub
in what
in its hey day it was a bustling nightclub
that was part artist salon part rowdy musical
that sounds right up my alley
in the late 18s.
Yeah, I love the Browdy Music Hall.
Music Hall is such a great one.
That sounds like you're toasting beers, but too hard.
Yes, exactly.
Interesting.
Henry Rollins always goes to find records.
He's a huge record guy, so he's like, I want to find records.
So whenever he goes anywhere.
That's just cool.
I don't think I have a lot in common with Henry Rollins.
But like find some restaurants you want to eat at.
Do you think he knows the capitals of every country?
Guaranteed not.
He might.
He might.
He is the kind of guy who might.
Yeah.
But anyway, something to get you moving.
So some activities or just like coffee or food or anything.
I don't know.
How much do you feel like you have to do what the thing of that place is?
Great question.
Thanks.
50-50.
Okay.
If it's something I can't try anywhere, I'm like, I got to try it at least once.
Like you're thinking like food-wise.
Yeah, I'll get a waffle in Belgium.
Right, of course.
So good though.
Yeah.
but then like you got to get a Guinness in Ireland I'm like I've had Guinness it's like
kind of but isn't it the same they're going to be really particular about it and it's just a
beer to me yeah and like how much is the one thing so like not how much cost I'm like how big
is there a big thing so like I don't know I'm trying to think like I'm trying to think
let me think one if you're in New York you got a slice of pizza right you got it kind of
have to unless you're here for an hour you can't have to in fact it would be hard not to
yeah but you don't have to get pizza and a bagel right and a and a beer at McSorley's and
you don't have to all those but you could you could so if there's something massive like
the western wall in Jerusalem we're like this is kind of like a such a unique
interesting thing we're all the way out here got to see I have a don't be an asshole rule like
if you're that close just go you're not even going to see the Eiffel Tower yeah are you
nuts yeah you know you don't have right there yeah you don't have to visit the fucking
doors guys grave in Paris right and you don't have to like take the Eiffel Tower tour you don't
have to go up into the Eiffel but like make it part of you yeah yeah if you're if you're an hour
or 20 minutes in the Grand Canyon like head over there bro don't be a fucking don't be silly it's
right there yeah but wait why did we bring that up oh you asked me how much do I feel like I
yeah how much do you feel like when you're near it you have to go do it a little
But then the authentic thing is not like the actual experience.
Yeah.
So like we're New Yorkers, we're going to pizza every day.
Right.
What we do is go to cool bars.
Yeah, and talk about cool stuff.
You know, be in apartments.
Yeah, but I don't know.
It's like get drunk a bar from the street.
That's the real New York experience.
Yeah, it's like in Italy, it's like you go to the Spanish steps,
but mostly because you're going to go have a bottle of wine and hang out and that's
where people gather.
Yeah.
And also, is that the fun thing to do?
Right.
Let's have fun in a place.
Yeah.
When I was in Austria, my friend who's Austrian, and she was like,
like hey we're going to go by the river we're going to get burritos at this new cool place get the
burritos and go by the river and like drink drink beers I'm like a burrito what a waste and it's
like well that's what we're all doing right it's like the hip place right so it's like oh
that's like authentic it's not traditional it's not like you know some like it's not what
you travel out there to do flash fried chicken with like breading sure but like if they're all doing
it then this is a fun time in austria yeah how was an austrian burrito fine fine
Better than New York, actually.
I mean, a burrito really can be, and that's not obviously how it should be,
but really anything you roll up into a tortilla.
It really is.
That's how you do fusion burritos.
Right.
It's just like roll it up in there, and we're calling it a burrito.
It's an honor.
You were in Paris.
Yeah, I went to, Paris is the most I ever spent on a vacation, and it was just for me.
It was like on a whim.
I've been thinking about going on a vacation.
I was single and like.
No, no, no, say it the whole thing.
I will.
Okay.
I was on one of the apps.
I started, like, seeing this guy, a musician,
that I was like, oh, this is totally gonna, and it wasn't.
If I'd been paying attention to my own life,
I would have been like, this is very stupid.
I was clearly just, like, had been in a relationship for a long time,
it was like first free or whatever.
You were just banging?
We didn't even bang.
We didn't even bang.
We got close, but it's, you know,
sometimes you get your period at a really inconvenient time.
So anyway, whatever, I went to do something that I thought I was going to like see him at
and he just like straight up ghosted me in a way that made me go like, fuck, I am who, what am I doing?
I was like, why am I here?
I'm, this is pathetic.
And so I was like.
At a place.
Live ghosting?
Um, it was like a thing he had a show that I don't remember the details of it.
It wasn't good.
It was like if I had been more honest with myself, it had been past the, he had clearly made it
clear like he wasn't interested and I was so like yeah this is sick um and so I kind of had this like
come to Jesus moment with myself my friend Andrea came and met me at a bar and we were going to have
dinner and then I was going to go to this show and then it like didn't happen and I was just sitting
there waiting and then I was like what am I doing and my friend was like you got to like go on a
vacation for yourself and I was like great and I have a friend who had just moved to Paris maybe like a
year or two before.
And I was like, hey, I'm going to, you know how I always say I'm going to come visit?
I was like, I'm going to come visit.
And I booked the most expensive suite at the most expensive hotel that had a little
balcony that opened up to like the Eiffel Tower.
It was like in my hotel room.
It was a two floor room that had like somebody brought my bag.
They insisted on bringing my bags up because there was, I wouldn't have been able
to get it up the staircase in the room.
It was amazing.
I, like, just bled money for a week in Paris.
And then I moved over to, like, the hotel room that's at, like, the Versailles.
It was sick.
It was sick.
I spent so much money.
It was irresponsible.
I sat outside my window one of the nights and smoked, like, a full pack of cigarettes just
by myself drinking white wine.
It was crazy.
That's very cool.
It was, yeah.
You must have known you were cool while you were doing that.
It felt sadder.
At the balcony, with facing the Eiffel Tower.
Yeah.
And just drinking, like, a little mini coffee.
and like yeah and smoke it
do you roll them or you buy them I bought them
I bought him it was a barstool and I was rolling cigarettes
and a big cat goes you roll your own I'm like
sometimes and he goes don't you remember like like kind of try hard
and I'm like yeah yeah I know have you met me
I'm trying to be a problem wait that's so fucking cool
yeah it was it was like the way that I was like
this is how rich people travel all the time I'm gonna let myself do it once
I'm gonna get like the it was fucking expensive
It was like thousands a night out of, it was crazy.
Did you come back?
Refreshed, awakened, yeah.
I didn't even come close to fucking anybody.
You would think that on a trip like that, you'd be like, let's go out and meet a French.
I get very like, hi, no, sorry, no.
When I'm just in a foreign, I'm not that cool.
I'm not out here being like, yeah, and then I, you know, I was just kind of going through it on my own.
I went to the Louvre.
I went to, I hung out with my friend Jennifer, she took me to a bunch of places.
Yeah.
How was it?
It was nice.
It's an art museum.
Yeah,
I went on the wrong day
and I couldn't get in
the other day.
I feel like I'm not smart enough sometimes
where I'm just like
I look at the art
and I'm like that's very nice.
I don't have some sort of like
I can't sit in this room for 40 minutes
and sometimes art speaks to you
but sometimes I'm like I can
it'll speak to me better
if I'm like at home
researching about it
and learning about it.
I don't know.
It's I love a museum
but I'm not as sometimes I feel like
I'm not good enough for them.
I hear you.
You look at it like
if there's a plaque
you could be like
oh cool
yeah there's no plaque then you're like
what am I supposed to do now
I like it and then like
I
yeah I'm like what's my responsibility
now
I feel like fraud
like what am I fucking loser
oh I should just go home
and fucking play video games
I'm where culture goes to die
and you're like
well it's just a museum
you know yeah
but you go to these things
because you're supposed to
that's one that's like
that's the big one
you see the one little painting
whatever it's called
The one chick.
Isn't the Mona Lisa?
Is that what you're trying to?
I don't think I did.
I think I would remember and I don't think I did.
I think the line was too long.
I was like I just not,
I didn't travel out here to wait in line.
It's not as, you know.
When I saw it was closed but they give on Mondays I think
and then they do special entries for high little people
and it was Brad and Angelina.
Oh.
And not Angelina.
No.
It was a crazy one.
Jenny from the block.
Brad and.
So you mean Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lowe?
Lopez.
Not even the same.
Pretty much got it to be honest.
Yeah, we got there, didn't we?
You knew what I meant.
And we saw them walking on the square.
Oh, that's crazy.
One of the friends for my class was right in his face taking pictures and all the popper, I was like, bro, that's not how we do it.
He goes, I'm not one of you.
Yeah, fair not.
I'm getting this picture.
And that split them up, I think.
Damn, that was the thing.
Yeah, but they got their own private tour to the Louvre.
That's crazy.
Two people.
That's cool.
I mean, you could get that maybe.
Not to the Louve.
I mean, they probably.
paid for it. I can see how they cooked the meat at Franklin's barbecue. I get one of those
a three-minute tour. Which some could say is even better. Yeah, some could say that.
Than the Louvre. Who wants to be alone with Mona Lisa? Louvre. You can't even pronounce it.
Louvre. Lvru. Lvre? I think it's Lauvre. That is. Let's get that started.
Okay, you didn't have any romance there. By the way, I get that same shit where I'm like,
I don't want to like people, even if they do talk, we do.
But you want to get into these things, right?
You want to have this experience.
Oh, I went to France, and I kissed a man.
And then when a man gets too close to me, I go, is everything okay?
Yeah.
Please, I don't want to.
Please, I'm not interested.
Please, I'm scared.
What the fuck is that?
I don't know.
I'm a pussy.
I don't know what your problem is.
I have the same problem.
I'm a huge baby.
I'm like, oh, we couldn't have sex.
I don't know you.
But it's not even the sex.
I'm sure once you talked a lot at a bar or something, you probably could.
Yeah.
It's that first step.
I know.
I don't know.
I just was very, oh, thank you.
Okay, I'll just keep to myself.
Yeah, like, I don't want to bother anybody.
No.
I was looking for weed.
I had a girlfriend, and I was looking for weed, and I was in Barcelona.
We were on the, like, the main drag.
And I was like, fuck, how do we find weed?
And then some guys like, want weed?
I was like, no, I'm good.
And then she was like, we were looking for weed.
I'm like, I know, I fucked up.
Somebody talked to me.
I don't know how to do it.
I know.
I would not have expected that from you.
Fascinating.
I'm a bad traveler.
In my mind, you're just out here being like,
I'm Ari, I do this.
You're like negotiating threesomes at the hostel.
I just, it's my vision of you is that you're just like,
I'm not going to be in this here?
I'm just here, she's interested in you.
Now you, I don't know if she's your type,
but I think I could see it working.
We'll shoot it like this.
That's my vision of you traveling.
Yeah, I'm not that great at it.
Yeah, good.
It's pretty fun to be bad.
That makes me feel a little better.
If you can do it, maybe so could I.
Yeah, yeah.
here's one the predispositions about like what what you're gonna get into and like the things you're supposed to do
I think it holds everybody back where like I'm supposed to do this and this and this there
instead you should I should be more open and it's like let it find me yeah I'll discover things once I get there
yeah and then what I thought was the big thing there I discovered later it was like no there's this whole other
thing that you get into like I feel like let's do an example okay Japan okay if we
We wanted to go to Japan.
I do.
Once you're over there, you're like, well, we might as, we should also do, like, soul or
like Manila.
And you're like, well, I feel like once we're over there, we should be doing, and then
all of a sudden you're doing two days in each place.
Big mistake everybody makes.
Right.
Over planning.
Right.
You got to leave room for discovering things and just for walking around and taking
in the sites.
And the sites meaning like, they're homeless people just sitting right here.
Or like, oh, look at the people on the outside.
cafe.
Yeah.
They're all the,
oh, that guy's smoking
next to a baby
and it seems to be fine.
Oh, they leave their babies
outside and take their dogs
into the bar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Me and Bobby Kelly
were in Copenhagen for a festival
and then we're eating
and we're like,
how's that baby outside?
They're like, they're like,
they're like, the cold is good for them.
Yeah, we're like, should we go get them?
The parents, they not know?
And the guy's like,
what are you guys talking about?
Somebody parked their baby outside.
Yeah, they're like, what if somebody
takes it?
And they're like, who would take a baby?
And you're like, oh, in my country.
Oh, it's quite a, it's quite profitable on the resale market.
Where is calling you?
Well, wait, wait, wait, let's stay on this.
Well, they're kind of related because Dan and I have talked about, you know, he wants to, he's interested in Japan.
Yeah, at this point, you should know, I'm a little bit autistic.
I want to make sure you're in focus.
Okay.
It's, what if I'm not?
The whole time it hasn't been.
We start over.
we'll repeat all that right yeah um what if what dan has mentioned wanting to go to japan yeah i'll say
language was my first biggest barrier second is we are not that cool dan and i don't dress in a way
that japan's going to go that's great they're going to look at us and go what the fuck t-shirt jeans
every day you two t-shirt jeans sneakers every day uh-huh and i'm like if we go to japan
we got to actually like try we got to like that's where we take our swings no one can see us
we'll just take swings on fashion see if this vibes with us see if this vibes with us because don't
you feel like you should Japan's like a cool looking place it's high on my list of places I should be
going have you've never been oh it feels like a place you would have gone yeah I know so then I won't
ask you about Japan because you don't know shit well I really do want to go yeah what are you going
to do when you go to Japan what would you do obviously right would you just do
Japan on the trip.
Okay.
So that's another thing
people get into.
It's the over planning.
And so they go, the first time
I went to Australia,
my dad was like,
oh, you should go to New Zealand
while you're there.
And it's like,
no, it's,
first of all,
it's another, like,
three hour flight.
It's not as close as
they make it sound like.
Do a New Zealand trip,
another time.
Yeah.
You're always going to be like,
I'm going to Turkey.
It's like, well,
may as well go to Greece
and Iraq while you're there.
Right.
That's not a great example.
No, probably not.
But like, uh,
gotta go to Kuwait.
Got to go to Kuwait.
Your Burkut game's so good.
You got to use it.
Kuwait City.
Nice.
One of the easy ones.
It's a lot of those.
Capital of Guatemala.
What?
Guatemala is, yeah, Guatemala City.
Yeah.
Mexico City.
Oh, yeah.
A lot of those.
Damn.
We appreciate those.
Or like the capital of Singapore is Singapore.
The capital of Djibouti is Djibouti.
Yeah.
It's like some of them are really easy like that.
What are these countries are there where the whole country is just one city?
So there's, I don't think Andorra is.
I think that's a.
but it's very small
Monaco
Monaco is just a city
I think
Vatican City
Yeah that makes sense
I don't know if San Marino
Is just a city
Or if it's
Bigger than that
Okay
Oh now there's got to be more
And now my mind's just gonna go blank
Yeah in Singapore
Right that's the first one I knew
Yeah
I think
Djibouti's like small
But I don't think it's just one city
I can't believe you
knew what, I haven't even heard of it. Tuvalu. Yeah. I don't even think I ever got to, one of those is
Nukuwala, but I don't know which one is Tonga or Tuvalu. Um, wait, what were you saying? Oh,
Funafuti. Sorry, the capital of Tuvalu is Funafuti. And the capital of Tonga is, I believe,
Nuku alofa. If Tuvalu is the first one, I would have looked it up to check. I'm, you're the
expert. To be honest, I do know now what it is, Funafuti from the expert.
Yeah, you worded here first.
Tokyo seems like one of those cities to me that's like a unique,
like all these overcrowded towns and they're kind of the same everywhere,
except a few, New York, Paris, and like Tokyo where it's like it seems completely different.
Yeah.
I feel like just and maybe this is wrong, but I feel like waking up in it and existing in it
is the best way to experience it.
I'm just like, where do I go now to get my coffee?
What is the subway like?
What is the, this, like living a life like that?
You know what I really want to do there?
I'll show a picture of the street crossing in Tokyo.
You know the one with like everybody crosses at the same time?
Let's see the images.
Do you know what I'm talking about or no?
No.
Maybe.
It's this.
It's a four-way cross and everybody goes at once.
Damn.
Wait.
That's cool.
Spat up.
It's actually pretty good.
Wow.
Yeah, that's it.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, my God.
And they're like.
Like ants.
Yeah, I really want to do that.
Okay, you want to cross the street.
I think we can make that happen.
Okay.
I want to do the thing where they push you onto the train with a stick.
What?
You don't know that one?
With a stick.
Let's see if we can find that.
Professional pushers shove passengers onto.
They're onto.
Yeah.
Just cram them in.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
Yeah, I want to do that.
Look at them shoving them.
No.
They're all trying to get in.
Look at this guy.
So he's just there.
This is someone who's clearly not going to make it, right?
You'd think.
But how is he expecting to get in?
The pushers.
Oh, my God.
This is wild.
Breed less.
Hey, everybody.
Be less.
That guy got in.
This is nuts.
No way.
Oh, my God.
That girl's wearing a skirt.
He's just shoving her in.
Body parts.
How do you get all?
It's like, excuse me, this might stop.
Yeah, what does the whole river of people have to give?
This is like a crowd crush nightmare.
Oh, she's like, fuck it.
I'm out.
I'll walk.
Oh, my God.
You want to do this, you're saying?
Also, I don't see no, I don't see any sticks.
I don't see any sticks.
You are correct.
I thought they had a stick one.
Oh, my God.
I thought they had where they shoved you on with a stick.
Well, I might be wrong with that.
It may be a false memory.
That's okay.
We got to the bottom of it.
So I want to do those two things.
Okay.
DeRosa's all.
told me about like a video game city inside Tokyo.
That's sick.
It's a whole district for video games and everybody plays them
and they have everything ever made to use.
Like in a cafe, like you just walk into a cafe and play up,
you're like, I don't know, I'm just going to Google video game city.
Yeah.
Here's a fun thing.
Yeah.
Just finding out about stuff.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's go video game city.
I don't know.
Neighborhood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Boom.
Akihabara.
It's widely known as Tokyo's premier video game in Otaku Culture District.
It's a vibrant area packed with, look at that.
Electronic stores, arcades, anime and manga shops, themed cafes.
It's like, um, making it a must visit for gamers.
You.
Yeah.
I'm less of a Japanese gamer.
I feel like gaming in anime is more closely tied in Japan than it is in my life.
But.
What do you play?
I would still, yeah, like dumb stuff.
But retro gaming can.
visit the legendary super potato store love that classic classic i love that oh retro okay see we could
do this this is great but that seems kind of fun like the experience is like i don't have to learn
about your culture right i'm not worried about i mean you are learning about the culture kind of but it's
just like join in yeah i like that i would do that okay yeah Tokyo seems to go and then i would probably
go out of Tokyo and go like Osaka yeah maybe i heard of that go to like some other place
There's hikes.
There's that big Fiji.
Really?
On an army base, military base.
What does that mean?
Did the mom like sneak on there to give birth there so he'd be like protected by the military?
I don't know.
I just know he was born in Japan.
That's cool.
Does he have his?
I don't think so.
No, okay.
Because it's the army base.
Yeah.
It's one of those like technically America.
It's like technically America.
Yeah.
Wow.
But I had a kimono when I was a baby.
Really?
That's all I know.
Okay.
As an attempt to connect with the culture of where my father was born.
So Japan.
So you could go there with Dan.
Yeah.
It's, yeah.
How would you get it done?
Get what done?
What would be the steps?
To planning my trip to Japan.
Well, I'd Google Japan trip.
That's where I'd start.
Okay.
And then I would try to find a nice hotel.
Or I would maybe read about, this is, you feel how much this hurts me?
Yeah, so pause at the hotel.
Would you get overwhelmed, which I would of like, what if I don't get the right one?
they're all the right one it's like college can't be true they're all it's like college where it's
like oh I should go on to this you're going to this you're going to say I'm so glad I chose this
college everybody does that did I do almost everybody yeah I don't know if I did that yeah your BU
friends love that the Hofstra friends love that yeah you know all my Maryland friends love that
the ones who went to other place like I'm glad I went here it's like it's just it's college
it's fun okay you know what's the right comedy club if somebody comes to town and you go you're just
going to have a good time regardless yeah I also this is making me realize
I have to weaponize Dan's part in this
because when we were trying to move into our apartment
I got very obsessed with
because we were getting all new furniture
because we both just had old furniture
was going to stay where it was
and I got obsessed with like well where do I start
the rug dictates the couch dictates the
whatever and so it got to a point where I had this
like entire document of every couch
that was long enough for him to lay down on
and had all of the specifications
and we went to see a couch and I was like
oh I love this and Dan was like
do you have this in this color
that she likes.
And they were like, yeah, I can show you what's over here.
And then we finished sitting on it.
And I was like, okay, well, I got to update the spreadsheet now.
And Dan just looked at the guy and was like, we're going to buy this couch.
And I was like, I would never do that.
I never take the step.
I plan and I keep zooming in and zooming in and zooming in.
And then he finally goes, you know the, this is what you want.
We're getting this.
Is it in the range of acceptable?
Right.
Dude, I do the same thing.
A thousand times we do the same thing.
And I have to have someone else come in and be like, someone has to go, it's this is fine though, right?
Just get this.
It's going to go away.
Because I'm like well once you start thinking about I only have so many times to travel in my life is Japan even at the top of the list of the places I want to go in my and then you're just like Katie you're exhausting just pick a fucking place and go to it I think any of the however many places that are calling you in any way are the right places I don't have any interest in Moscow or Russia some people do then it's right for them but I have interest in like 30 other places and so it's the same thing I'm like what if it's like where's it work out in time and where you are on the road yeah you know I'm
So yeah, find a hotel with decent reviews, fine.
If you have somebody who's been there, any recommendations?
I was going to say I'd go to probably Reddit and see people be like,
went to Tokyo, here was what we did.
And then, you know, not copy anybody, but just look at them and go like, oh, is this?
What is my vibe?
What's not my vibe?
Yeah, this sounds like something.
And someone go like, oh, I tried that and I hated that.
Or someone's like, I had a very different experience.
I really loved that.
I love looking up.
When I have a problem, I love looking up what people on Reddit have said they wish they
knew about their experience before they had it.
but they're writing it after they've had the experience.
Because then I go, okay, they think they should have known that before.
I'm in the before stage.
I can learn from this.
When I went to Paris, I was so nervous I wanted to find the right cafes to sit
and roll cigarettes and drink coffee.
And I was like, I heard Reddit's making a huge resurgence because everyone's getting,
not everyone, a lot of people getting sick of AI telling them what they think they should do.
Yes.
And they kind of want to hear from real people.
Yes.
Which then you have to go like, hopefully Reddit stays real people.
Would we even know if they were all replaced with AI at this point?
Are we all already just all getting cycled into this fucking?
Are we even real?
No.
We've been replaced decades ago.
Let's blink and be in Japan.
That's what I'm saying.
If this isn't real, why can't I blink and be in Japan?
Do it.
Imagine if it did.
And then we were like, what the fuck?
You don't think of that.
Just people cross this in Japan.
We're in the intersection.
I'm just trying to go Google Translate.
Give me out.
Give me out.
Yeah, so that stuff
When I saw when I went
I was like, how do I find the right cafe?
Like, how do I find the cafes?
Yes, you don't want to do it wrong.
If people are ready, bro, you're overthinking it.
You will find a cafe.
A cafe is a cafe is a cafe.
And there are three on every block
And I didn't realize that until I got there.
And every single one of them is full of people
that you're like, you don't have a job.
You just sit here all day and look at people.
I was like, I want to get an Airbnb near a cafe.
And they were like, bro, you will.
Right.
You're fine.
Don't just get an Airbnb.
Yeah, that's like, I want to.
a book in New York, well, I'll see a pigeon.
And you're like, you just truly, drop a pin.
Drop a fucking pin.
Yeah, so there's that.
So, okay, so that's taken care of.
You've got to convince your man.
And figure out of time.
I mean, you guys and your contracts with your tours.
Sure, that's the problem.
What's the solution?
We'd have to plan it in advance.
Now, okay, now let me tell you truthfully what happens right now.
My brain goes, well, while you're talking about planning, maybe you could
plan that fucking wedding and then I go well and then I'll do none of these things and now I fall
back down the stairs and now I'm like we're not going anywhere we're not going on a trip until I plan
my wedding that was like I'm not planning my wedding until I get a job and then I got I plan the podcast
got a job and now I'm like I don't it's the order in which to do things um always fucks me up
yeah because I'm like well what if I know I go on this big planned trip and my family's like
Hello, please get married before we all, you know, before the world ends.
Yeah.
I'm in the same thing right now.
I've got to get everything taken care of before I leave.
And I'm like, I'll do one thing at a time.
But sometimes like, but one thing includes four weeks of shipping.
Right.
To get something here.
I'm like, oh, shit, I should have done that before.
I should have done that later.
And now I'm fucked.
And then I can't do anything.
And I scroll Instagram.
It's so, Ari, it's so true and embarrassing.
What an embarrassing truth just sitting there.
When you go, well, there's so much to do, I couldn't possibly.
we do, I guess I'll just watch TikTok.
And then like, you could have got them both done.
I know.
I know.
Okay, here's my advice of overcoming that.
My promoter in Romania wanted to plan this trip to Thailand or whatever.
Let's just say Thailand.
It might have been, it might have been, um, underrated town.
Really?
Yeah.
All there, you know how Berlin is like, um, electronic dance music is their underground scene?
It's post punk in Bucharest.
Oh, cool.
So the same dingy, like dark, whatever, warehousey things.
Yeah.
They're doing like Susi Su and the band.
And like they're all dancing of that.
It's pretty wild.
That's kind of sick.
Good gymnastics too.
Yeah, we all know the one.
Yeah.
That's the name, Mary Louretton.
Nadia Comey.
Um, so anyway, he was like worried when's the right time.
When's the same sort of thing.
Yeah.
And I was like, so are you gonna go?
And he goes, you know what I did?
I just bought a plane ticket.
Yeah.
And then that made me figure it out.
I bought it for four months or now.
And if I'm three weeks out, it's actually coming.
Right.
I have to go.
waste a ticket.
No one wants to do that.
That's a, that's not bad.
It's really not bad.
Get the ticket and then just put it on each of your calendars.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like, hey, we can't book anything right now.
Right.
Because it's, we're doing this Japan trip.
Huh.
And then, like, as it gets close.
I mean, some stuff you can do on the way to the airport.
I kind of love that.
That is, like, igniting a flame.
I'm feeling like, oh, okay, because I'm always looking for ways to basically trick
myself into doing the stuff I have to do.
Uh-huh.
Because if I have to consciously do it.
Yeah.
That's where I struggle.
That's where my brain goes,
Like, well, and I can't possibly start until I do this and then I do this.
But if I just can trick myself into like, well, look, now we're here.
You're not going to throw away, you know, $2,000.
Yeah, you're not going to throw away the money.
Yeah, you've got to go.
Yeah.
That could work.
Yeah, that could be it.
You clear, like, well, what week do we have often is unlikely for something to come up majorly?
Yeah.
All right, that's the week we're doing it.
You never know when something major is going to come.
But unlikely.
Yeah.
And then my brain also just goes, well, what if instead of going so far away?
what if we do we start small we go on a weekend trip or like a middle of the week trip to somewhere not super far away but somewhere that we can just go on a little jaunt like a London type thing and then pop back over you know like not go all because Japan is like how long's that flight you probably got to go this way right I think so yeah yeah and I've done this flight and that was like a day fucking shit crazy and you have to fly to LA first and then you take off
from L.A. and go all the way. And that's a forever flight.
Crazy. I was going once from L.A. to Australia.
And the first time I went, it was on a UFC free ticket, first class.
Damn. Dana White came up to me.
What? And he goes, do you know how much your ticket cost?
Because Rogan had his contract, he gets a free companion ticket.
When they were going to, like, Alabama was the big exotic place.
He negotiated that. He goes, do you know how much your ticket costs? I'm like, I know.
Give me half of it, bro. I'll sit and coach. You don't think I desperately need 12 grand?
Right.
But it was nice.
I flew.
That was the first flight I took where I wasn't in first class.
It had a first class experience because they know you're on that flight for so long.
That was the first flight where every chair, this was also partially the year, but every chair you were at had a TV with an unlimited, like on demand of anything.
I just remember being like, this is crazy.
I was like everybody's sleeping.
This is nuts.
I'm going to watch like the entire summer high tie season.
Like this was, it was, it was, it ruled.
And on the way to Australia,
what a perfect show to watch.
It was perfect.
It was the best.
Maca Bay.
So maybe I go somewhere closer.
Maybe I don't dream so big.
Maybe I don't take such a big chunk.
Mogadishu this time.
Second time I went to Australia.
Second time I was in Australia, I got my seat and it was a guy who was, who's, who's,
who, Ralphie Mae's, wait, I'm trying to think, who would you know that's this fat.
I know Ralfi May.
Leff fur, like, but like,
I know Ralphie Mae more than I don't love for.
Okay, Ralphie Mae.
And so he was sitting next to me and I put my house like,
hey, you don't put my stuff, you know, down.
And then I went to the stewardess and go, hey, no way.
No fucking way for 13 hours.
What's he supposed to do?
He's not supposed to do anything.
But I pay for a full ticket.
And they go, sir, what do you mean?
And they walked over.
They go, I'll catch a new seat.
Well, that was nice of them.
Yeah.
I'm like, I'm not going to make a big deal of this in front of them.
Their flight attendants must be better equipped to go, I'll take care of that.
It's 13 hours.
Because that's sitting there.
Was it that sitting that long on a flight
to have to do anything uncomfortable?
Also, you know those flight attendants I feel the worst for?
LLs.
Why?
Just because of the high busy Jews.
Give me another bag of chips.
Hey, can I get this?
Can I walk into the cockpit for a second?
I just need something.
Oh.
Can I get a little pair of those wings?
Do you have any wings?
Can I get some wings?
Can I get a few more?
I might need them for later.
I know other people.
I got other kids.
They're kids, I promise.
Yeah, where could you go that's not that far?
All of these.
What about Cuba?
That's too rural.
That's not going to happen for you.
Why is that?
What's that?
What do you mean?
It might be too rustic for you guys.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
I mean for Dan.
I mean for Dan.
I don't know if he's ready to do that level of rustic.
Okay.
Of not having luxuries.
Maybe power outages.
Damn, you call them a soft-handed baby just now.
I just don't know.
You said he's got no dirt under his fingernails.
I did kind of say that.
You just called him veal.
His feet have never touched the ground.
Dominican Republic.
I've been there.
Okay.
You have.
I went there on like another one of those trips where I just grabbed a girlfriend and was like,
let's go on a fucking vacation.
And we got a cabana.
And we just lived there in a, I don't know.
Hold on.
What's the resort?
It was a resort.
It was like seven seas or seven winds, seven sands.
Yeah.
Google Maps.
D.R.
I know this.
I know what I should.
If I can get it before I type it in.
There's no chance we're talking about the same place.
There were a million resorts.
that I thought, I think, I thought.
It's the part of it, Punta Kana.
Oh, yeah, I think so.
I think it was Punta Kana.
So how was it?
It was great.
It was, uh, we just, all we did was like read shitty beach reads and drink drinks.
And it was all inclusive.
So we went to all the different restaurants and.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, it was like literally that one of, yes, it was one of those vacations where you go
like, oh, you didn't see anything of the island.
You enjoyed its ocean and its coast and its resort.
But Lewis convinced me on this where he goes to Jamaica and he just
rentsavilla and just like stays here has a chef come in and i'm like but you didn't see in
jamaica goes i'm not looking to be at a beach at a beautiful beach and rockaway's not cutting it
most of my vacationing has been like when it's been two years since i've like left my home
type of or i've been working and i go like away to somewhere like i've been to um oh what's the
island that i think got really hit by a hurricane turks and cacos uh-huh we gotta go back
I went there.
We got to go back.
We got to.
Yeah.
I went there for like a week and just like got hammered on the beach and like took a
turn my phone off, took a fucking break.
That's like a, and that to me is what resorts are good for.
But I don't want to go do that in like a place you're traveling to.
It's like I'm trying to just go to a beach in those situations.
I got it.
What?
Mexico City.
Okay.
Have you been?
No.
If not for comedy, top five country cities I would move to.
But no comment.
Dead comedy scene.
It's not for me there.
No,
there's like a lively one.
And Mexico's not mad at us in any way.
They don't resent us in any way.
Why would they?
I don't know, just the way we're kind of.
Treating the people that left Mexico?
The way we, well, yeah, okay.
It's not the ones.
I meant more like the rhetoric in general,
how we speak about it as a country isn't currently.
It's not us.
So me and Bobby were in Cuba.
Yeah.
And one guy, not all of them, it didn't come up at all,
one guy goes, hey, I don't blame you.
And I was like, for the first I was like, why would you?
Oh.
Oh, right, because Kennedy crippled your fucking economy
and no one reversed it.
Yeah.
Oh, fair, yeah.
You go, I'm Canadian, so I don't even know what you're talking about.
I brought Canadian money.
What's crazy is that I'm Canadian to exchange.
That's so crazy.
I get what you're saying because I'm from Winnipeg,
a city you won't know enough to quiz me on.
You guys are looking up, I'm looking down.
So it's, you wouldn't have.
a follow-up if I say I'm from
Regina. Boy, I tell you. They don't talk like about
Saskatoon, I don't know, Mexico City. It's so
fun. Okay. The food is amazing.
Okay. It's gentrified
and safe in lots of parts
of it. There's also the art scene is crazy.
I need a gentrified and safe. Well, because
the fear of Mexico's people go is
like Tijuana. Oh, I don't
they do. Everybody thinks Tijuana's
happening all over Mexico. That's
the problem with Americans. Pretty wild.
Yeah. That would be a pretty wild, dumb thing to think.
Don't you, but we do.
Yeah, they view their countries as one thing.
Yeah, oh, nice.
Instead of, like, there's different regions.
Contain multitudes.
Yeah, but people always go, like, isn't that country, isn't Brazil dangerous?
You're like, what do you mean?
Where do you mean?
Isn't America dangerous if you're trying hard enough?
Yeah.
So what are Mexico City?
That's a quick one.
You direct flight for sure.
What do you do when you're there?
Ruins.
You can do that.
Walk around, get amazing food.
One taco and move, one taco and move.
one taco and move
one taco and move
a taco and move
a taco crawl
definitely
yes they have
them mapped out
by the way
you can map out
your own
I know people
that can map
out a taco crawl
for you
sick
bespoke
I like that
Frida Kahlo's house
was awesome
Norman's been there
you can get advice
from him
and what's do
I've been there
you can get advice
for me
like the musk
this shit
Lucha Libre
so fucking fun
Dan would love it
I didn't
think of that
it's the roots
of what he's into
yeah
it's so fun drink shitty beer well he can't do that you i will yeah and then he can carry me back
to the hotel absolutely you're so light it works both ways i'm so tiny put me in pocket there's no more
big katy she's gone she's she left that's the nickname you came up with big katy there's another one
you could have had it i'm trying to think of like nolan rhymes with bolin bolin ball that's just not there
there's something it wasn't coming to me yeah 180 katy what i said 180 katy
180, Katie.
You corrected me once when I was doing a Mount Rushmore of weed.
Remember that?
No.
I was doing a weed episode on my old podcast.
I said Soder's on the Mount Rushmore of Weed.
I said he's on the Mount Weed Shmore.
And I was like, nah, it's not where.
And you go Mount Cushmore.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
That's not really a skill.
You could argue it gets in the way of yours.
Bro, Mexico City would be an easy one.
Flight, what?
Let's check it.
Six, five, eight.
Six, you can get here.
Ecuador in like six.
Keto, capital of Ecuador.
Let's do kayak, hold on.
Where are we?
Over here.
Okay.
How long do you think?
What are you guessing?
How long we would go for?
No, no.
How long do you think the flight would be?
Oh, we'll say, I'll say seven, six.
Big money, big money.
Five hours and 20 minutes.
That's nothing.
3 p.m. land at 6.20.
Be safely in your hotel.
9.40 a.m.
be there at one, don't worry about danger, getting in a night.
Okay, that's not bad.
304.
Nothing.
One way.
So, 600 probably round trip.
And he's got, I mean, Delta, he's got miles.
He's got miles.
Okay.
You could do a show.
If you really wanted, like day one or last day and make the whole thing tax deductible,
literally the whole trip.
If he does one.
If he does one bar show.
He didn't have to be a major show.
Even though we're documenting us saying.
this right now it's still the reason for business okay one bar show 250 on that one that's economy
too but like yeah the whole thing that means the whole thing is that viva oh you don't know
we have a new airline i don't know yeah right i don't i've never heard it's like when you see a new car
company you're like from where where you're doing new cars now what do you mean you're a new car
america okay that one operated by delta maybe viva is just like a mexican and i'm that's why i
Operated by Air Mexico.
Yeah, maybe.
Viva, life.
Sure.
So how about something like that?
That's not far.
That's not that, and it's not bad.
And that means you could go for, for, you don't work a regular job.
There's Dan.
Tuesday, Thursdays, I do a podcast, but I can literally do that from anywhere.
It's two of my producers zoom in, so I could zoom in.
It's like easily.
For, what do you go, an hour and a half, two hours, hour?
Okay, yeah, you could do that from a, find an Airbnb.
All I need is like reliable good internet.
A lot of these,
A lot of these Airbnbs now go list the 100 megamites a second, whatever.
As they should.
I mean, that's doable.
Okay.
Possibility, minimum.
So what do we got?
Japan.
Is there a wrestling season?
Or is it happening all the time?
Every Thursday.
At the arena.
It's the one place.
They don't ever stop.
It's so much fun.
There's kids on shoulders screaming.
There's characters that they all know.
Crazy.
You can get these for like $10 outside.
Yeah.
The taco scene's nuts.
That could be really, that could be really fun.
Yeah, and they have, like, Michelin restaurants for, like, 80 bucks a meal.
Really?
Yeah.
Man.
Poohole, I think.
Poohole?
Yeah.
Hold on if we got this right.
It's a tough.
Like Albert?
I'm going to leave that one there because we may get back to that.
Okay.
Hold on.
Poohole restaurant.
I definitely got it wrong, right?
I did get it right.
Wow.
Whoa.
Yeah.
reservations ahead of time or waitless
but that's just one
there's also tons of everything
I mean we can't laugh
that that's what that means in our
language that we can't laugh at poo hole
it's very funny it is and you can
it's like you gotta eat at but hole
100% can get some Cuban cigars if you want
yeah
mota get some mota
some weed oh that's how you say
weed you write that down
yeah
that's the universal
it's a sweet uh yeah that could be a cool one or uk or lisbon or like there's a ton or maybe like
sweden that's kind of far right it is dan's been to stockholm yeah episode about it still coming
hmm okay these are this is more progress than i've made this is more progress now let's do my
wedding okay okay yeah and then i'll get over here eventually yeah yeah yeah and then i'll get over here
eventually yeah and you want to get back to Australia I want to go visit my friend she
came and visited me in New York twice and I haven't been back to visit her because
that flight is a nightmare to me you also can bank episodes you do have oh you
can't really with sports it's tougher yeah it's not as easy but also then you
could be like it's like you remember when Conan would go to like other cities yeah
so like hey I'm reporting on on AFL this week I'm gonna do a hard-hitting report on
Aussie football it's just me
Hard hitting reports.
I mean, you know, whatever.
You make fun of it and go.
Yeah.
I saw a guy get knocked out
during a halftime thing.
They were doing like hard catches
and they fucking hit his head
and they, this ball rolls away.
Everyone was like, game's over.
Games over.
Like the halftime game's over.
But then like, yeah, yeah.
So you can do something about Australian sports.
Go for state of origin.
Okay.
There was a, there was a women's world cup
over there recently that I really wanted to go to.
Yeah, that was going to be my excuse.
But it's a deductible trip also.
Yeah, I missed it.
For sure.
There's, look, there's a lot of places to go, and I will go to them.
Yeah, you can work while you're gone.
Yeah.
You can zoom it.
You might have to wake up at the 2 in the morning.
Oh, yeah, the time difference is a pain in the butt.
But not if we go to Mexico.
No, not if you go to Mexico.
That's not crazy.
Right?
Mm.
I mean, there's a bunch of them, but that's like doable.
Oh, no.
So, but that seems like the same distance to a lot of.
also cool but not as foreign not as foreign not as foreign i love london i think it's uh i think it's
cool i like the what do you like about it huh what do you like about it what do you mean i don't know
i just know that when i went to liverpool to watch a game yeah we flew first into london and we had
yeah exactly we had a um we like had to stay in london for like a night or whatever and it was very
quick and it was like rainy and cold but something about i just liked walking around i like felt yeah i was
like oh this is cool i like it's not like torrential right it just makes you it makes everything cooler in a
gray way you feel like a spy in prague yeah i'm just like oh something importance happening and i'm a
part of it yeah i don't know it doesn't make any sense but sometimes just get a vibe with a city and i
like london yeah food i don't know maybe not the maybe not the maybe not the greatest no british food
They have the best Indian food, the best Turkish food, the best, like...
Yeah, they steal the best.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're great at it.
Isn't their national, I think their national food is chicken tequila, which is hilarious.
You're like, you are, it's clearly not yours.
It's so clearly not yours.
Oh, Allison Roman is rolling over in her fucking grave right now, that ability.
I think she's alive.
She is.
I do you think Allison Roman is alive.
They just wrote her off for dead.
It's not a stew.
It's a curse.
are you bitch
I'm like Jesus
leave for a low
it's just a rest of it
can we eat it
let's try eating it
yeah those are all fun places
Lisbon people have been to
they like
Norman's been there
I've not
it's wide open
and so now we're gonna get
back into the same thing
of like oh shit
there's too many choices
there's too many choices
get a ticket
yeah you just gotta get it
narrow it down
buy a ticket
yeah so I like what you're saying
start with somewhere
that's not crazy to get to
and won't take a lot
a lot of time
because if you're going all over
you're not going for four days
right that's retardo
right you've got to
you have to like
Yeah, 10, 12, 14.
So these can be long weekends.
And also, well, you go Tuesday, Thursday.
I mean, if you go on a Monday, if Dan does a show on a Saturday, or don't.
But if you do, Dan doesn't show on a Saturday to make a tax deductible, you report on a fucking soccer match.
And then you come back the next Wednesday, if you want, or just any four-day period.
You've missed no work.
Anyway, I'm more excited now than I was before.
You've actually got some legit things.
Yeah.
Okay, so this is now planning and the roadblocks to that.
Yeah.
Which is choose a place, get a ticket, and commit.
Which forces you to have a deadline to hit to get the other stuff.
Yeah. Reddit for like advice.
Yeah.
Don't worry about the hotel.
Every hotel's fine.
Yeah.
Also, any roadblock presents new, like if it's raining horribly in Hawaii, you're like,
it'll be like 10 years later.
Remember that time it rained all day and we learned how to play cribbage with those with those Germans?
Yeah, I like that.
You know, like don't plan on or worry too much about what happens once you're there.
It's not like, we ruined our trip to, it's like only if you let it.
You have to let it give you a different experience, but you still have to experience it.
Yeah.
Like they, life doesn't stop in Hawaii when it rains.
So what do they do?
And then you do that and then you, yeah, I get that.
I'm with that.
Okay.
I'm hitting the check mark I'm planning.
Yeah, I think so.
Right?
I think so.
You've helped me at least hack it a little bit.
Predispositions.
I forgot what that even was.
I don't even know why you wrote that.
I didn't tell you write that.
You didn't tell me right.
It feels like you wrote that on your own.
What about money?
You definitely need some.
How do you, do you wait until you get to the airport?
You do it at the exchange thing at the airport.
This is good for advice.
Yeah.
Hey, guys, when you're writing the advice book, maybe put this in.
Advice.
I'm doing a travel.
I ask everybody for traveling.
advice at the end and we're going to do a coffee table book great I get some of the
airport before you leave or the airport when you arrive or when you arrive before you get out
those doors with the cab drivers are coming at you and you're so overwhelmed I think I'm a lot like
you yeah I think I'm a lot like you with this stuff and I'm like oh no I don't want to it's too
yeah and I'm afraid so you research how much should a cab into Centro cost yeah and so when they
hit you with like it's 300 it's 30 not 600 but if they go it's 34 go that's about what
they said yeah sure let's take that always say how much will it be before you get in the cab yeah
or before you start going so they have to stick to it very smart so they don't hit you with something
crazy once you get there and it's too late to negotiate but i get like a day's worth of money before those
doors open at the airport so either in new york or there just take out but also last time went to
australia i didn't touch a single bill really it was tap and go tap and almost everything is that now
Huh.
But I still want to have some cash in case there's a taco stand.
And they go, we do have some.
When you tap to pay, and it asks if you want to pay in your countries or the, I feel like it does, but I don't know which one's the right answer.
I don't know either.
I do not know the right answer.
Somebody does.
I'll Google it.
There's an exchange.
And I'm like, do I exchange before?
Right.
Do I exchange after?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah, Google it for fun.
I'll Google it for fun.
Yeah.
Just to see.
Be your best Jewish shelf.
Get the answers to these questions.
Okay.
I can do that.
But just for a small anecdote when Dan and I went to...
It's the type of thing for small anecdotes.
A traveling one, too.
Oh.
You couldn't have picked a better place for this anecdote, maybe?
I went to...
My parents have a timeshare somewhere in Mexico.
Yeah.
And we went down for one of those aforementioned vacations
where you just, like, sit by the pool and drink apple soda,
which I cannot believe America, we don't really do.
Apple soda.
Apple soda is so good.
Where was this?
Underrated good.
It was just in...
Mexico. And I think you can get it here. But my point being, it's not like our sun kissed.
You know, it's like a not popular. And it's crazy because it's so tasty. But anyway, we got
off the flight and we were walking through the airport. And I had booked us a shuttle to go straight
from, pick us up at the airport with our names and take us directly to the resort. Just to bypass
any of the questions. Yeah, sure. Some guy comes up to Dan in the airport. A traveling man, Dan does
travel. He doesn't, maybe not internationally a ton, but he travels constantly. Every week.
And a guy comes up to us in the airport and said, taxi?
And Dan's like, yes, we would like a taxi.
And I looked at him and was like, huh?
No, we don't.
First of all, I booked it.
And you know that.
Second of all, when have you ever been and gone?
Someone goes, when someone comes up to you at the airport, definitely take.
You come to JFK every time when they say taxi.
Like, beat it.
They're not driving a taxi.
It's like, how are you?
And it's a bit overwhelming.
So if you can book a taxi to your hotel or something, now you put your stuff down.
They're like, let's breathe for a second.
Let's go down to the lobby.
Everybody pee, do what you got to do.
I'm not overwhelmed.
My stuff is down.
And then you can ask the concierge, like, is it safe around here?
And they'll tell you yes or no.
It's almost always yes.
And then like, all right, let's go for a walk.
And then we'll figure out something later.
But I'm in the same way.
I need slow.
I don't like to land at night where I feel more danger.
But by day two, the danger feels gone.
Yeah, I think I'm the same way once I'm in somewhere.
I'm so excited for you now.
I also just realized.
I have to renew my passport.
It's about to go, and the problem is it's about to go, and I don't have a real ID and New Jersey,
which is where my license is.
So it's where I need to get it renewed.
I know, and it's fully booked.
I can't make an appointment for one anywhere.
I'm like trying, and I can't.
And if I get my real ID, then I won't have an ID for when I need to renew my passport.
And if I renew my passport, I won't have my passport able to get my real ID.
I'm like, really fucked.
And I've just been putting this off.
What, you need a real ID to get a passport?
I think I need to show my passport to confer.
Like one of the ways to get a real ID is like you can show your passport, you can show a bill, you can show a whatever.
So I'm going to have to, they're, them coming up at the same time is a, is not good.
That's one where you should like, kind of tonight, just apply for a passport.
No, okay, Ari, next thing.
Sticking out as like a tourist traveler.
I took a trip with my parents to Italy when I was in high school.
The year that the Red Sox won the World Series, I actually.
was in Italy for the Sox Yankees series.
That was the greatest moment of any baseball fan's life.
I didn't watch any of it live.
It is the biggest regret of life.
No, Mariano came in.
It was 3-1.
I think that was...
How it ended?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
That's the last of my memory.
Mariano came and it was over.
Yeah.
Well, at least you have a memory of it
because mine are all just from the documentaries about it
and re-watching it when I got home.
My parents were like, my dad's like,
ah, they're down three.
They're never going to come back.
You don't have to watch a...
Even if they come back, we still got to win two more games.
But I went with my parents, and my dad, the whole trip,
was the stereotypical backpack, the high socks with the...
It's tied around him.
He still got something taken from him.
He, like, tried to do all the little tricks of, like,
where are your passport and blah, blah, blah.
And somebody still knifed one of his...
They snifed the bag of one of his, and let them.
Let them.
Kudos.
You did that much work.
How did you not feel that?
A man took a knife to your backpack.
But he every time-
Mosquito's here out of control.
Every time I look at like a picture of him
from that trip, I'm like, he's my dad and I love him.
I'm like, oh, my dad, but I'm also like, my God,
we are the like.
Yeah.
You know.
Katie, we're exactly the same.
I feel this legitimately it bothers me
to be the one who sticks out.
Yeah.
Two stories for you.
Okay.
One, I asked H. Foley, you know him?
Yeah.
Okay.
Shout out.
Shout out H Foley.
he went to Paris
and I was going
so I asked for a couple
restaurant tips or whatever
and I'm like
did you learn French
no zero
I'm like
weren't you worried about being
the loud American
you know
the guy like
he goes no
I didn't even think twice
about that
I was like Garsohn
I'll have one more of these
this is amazing
he felt no shame
yeah
didn't even think he should have
and he had a blast
they said everyone
treated him great
because he's so cuddly
yeah
and they tuned into it
and he was having a blast
and that probably
is also my dad.
My dad probably had the best trip of his life.
He's on all the videos just narrating,
here we are down at St. Mark Square.
You're like, oh, he's having the time of life.
He doesn't care what they think at all.
My friend Derek, I was in Myanmar,
and he was afraid he wanted to take photographs,
and he was afraid of sticking out.
Napierda.
Does that sound right?
That's what I think is the capital of Myanmar.
I don't know how to say it out loud,
but it's spelled like Napierda.
Damn, your computer shut off on us.
That's how long we've been talking.
I know, I've got to get out of this studio
because it's, everything's breaking.
Like, legitimately, everything's breaking.
I don't have it here, damn.
I thought I had his picture he took.
So he loved taking photographs.
And he was afraid of sticking out
as a tourist if he had this big,
you know, with the long lens cameras.
And he goes, I'm going to stick out of
and he's going to see him on tourists.
And his buddy goes, you're a six foot two white guy.
Do you think the camera's what's giving you away?
That's so true.
And that's damn.
In Burma.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So just like, it's okay, you're a tourist.
They have tourists.
You are what you are.
Yeah.
You're not actually ruining anything.
You're a tourist.
You're not embedded.
You're not breaking into some place.
They're like, yeah, we have restaurants for them and hotels for tourists.
And that's helpful for our economy when you are a tourist.
Yeah, yeah.
So like, just be the tourist.
But don't get a propeller hat, you know, you know.
Unless it's speaking to you.
Unless that's what you, unless that's what their local culture is into.
I struggle with the same thing, but it's dumb.
the meaning of the word struggle because I feel like you do you just power through it you've done a lot
quite a bit of traveling yeah I clearly struggle with it it is oh right you know I think you feel it
I feel it I don't think you struggle with it yeah I when I got to Paris I literally didn't open my mouth
for two days I got so hungry because I was like I'm afraid of looking like an American yeah and so I
couldn't be like you know whatever I learned and they're going to see through it and I was like
And I got so hot.
I was like, well, I got to get the Airbnb left me like some cheese.
And once you ate through it, you're like, now I have to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it just wasn't a problem.
Yeah.
And if it was awkward, it was awkward for 30 seconds and you got past it and you lived your life.
Katie, I think you're in a way better place now to go do this.
Can I be honest?
Yeah.
I think I am too.
It's still possible.
I go home and don't do anything about it.
But I feel a lot more like I'm going to do something.
about it than I did before I got here.
And isn't that sort of the whole point of you be tripping?
Don't I be tripping?
Go get high with your buddy, with your man.
My buddy is brutal.
I'm going to tell him that you called him that.
And I'll deny it.
There's no record of it.
Go get high with your pal that you live with.
And as you get high, go, let's talk about a place.
Yeah.
The close ones I would say, unless it's Japan, and go, let's just pick a date right now.
and then just go like let's get a ticket right now too today yeah why not should I
maybe the only why not is my passport I think I should do my passport first this is going to be
six eight months out from now right I hope so I mean you're not going right you got to clear the
schedule so it's not that yeah okay so six months out from now okay you'll have your passport
in a month I also think he's starting a tour soon so okay so like let's see your schedule
what's your tour over yeah two weeks after that
that let's let's three weeks after that I'm well what if I'm still tired great a month and a half
after that let's just pick a date it doesn't really matter stop yelling at me yeah so screaming
at me are I'm trying my best okay I'm very scared okay so then this is what I usually tell people
at the end of these episodes which is two questions we ask if you have travel advice or tips
of any kind I get a get a get a hotel that overlooks the Apple Tower I mean do it do it
One time, one time, if you've come into money in a way that you have it, I know everybody's
situation is different.
I was very lucky.
I had money.
I never spend my money.
I spent it on myself.
But like, treat yourself in whatever that means to you, I would absolutely do that.
But I would write, I would, you should journal, don't make journaling feel like it has to
be that you've got to write some profound thought.
Just literally jot down what you did that day and like the times that brought you the most joy.
So that in moments like this, when you go, I really don't remember.
my trip. You have a document of like, oh, that's right. That first day, they lost our bags. And so we had to go eat at that cafe. And while we were there, we had, we tried our, for the very first time, this type of bread that I had never heard of. Yeah. And then you, yeah, that way you know what you did. And you can reflect on the trip. I always build it up on my mind like I'm going to write. I don't, I'm not feeling creative. It's like nobody gives a shit. Just right, literally write down what you did today. Yeah, that they call it, um, bed to bed to breakfast or breakfast to bed journaling. Yeah, I've never heard of that. But you're not trying to like, uh, uh,
Get anything profound down you're just documenting the day and then if I have to if I have a story about somewhere and I go back and look
I'm like oh wait that guy. I forget that guy was even there. Yeah or like oh yeah we did go to that one restaurant
Right. Oh yeah that's it. It just brings it all back because you wrote it down and it's 10 minutes every morning and I've not done it a lot more than I've done it
It sucks when I leave the trip and I go why didn't I take the time? Yeah, and I keep going oh, I'll remember
You always tell yourself this lie. It's like when you it's like when you have
a dream and you wake up with the instinct to jot it down and you go, I'll remember.
I'll remember.
And then the next day, you're like, I'm not, I don't remember.
You have to, yeah, exactly.
So I don't know why we don't.
What are you doing with that?
Journal.
We're going to open them up.
Are they from Australia or did you buy them here?
Because they're not as good if they're from here.
I got to be honest.
I hate to be the, the book is better than the movie.
Okay.
Yeah.
12, 12, 20, 24.
No, I was there.
2024.
These are expired from two years, three, a year ago?
What year is it?
expired. I don't hold that against her.
Damn.
That's pretty fucked up.
Have you ever gone a Tim Tam slam?
Are you familiar with that?
Is it?
Oh, I'll bring you back.
This is going to fucking, I might relapse.
Oh.
This is the last podcast I'm doing in the studio.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
That's why I didn't say no.
That's why I was like, we'll figure it out.
We'll talk about something.
Because I was like, this is like a chapter in Ari's life.
Yeah.
I'm sad to leave it, but.
I've ever done a.
a tim-tam slammed do you know what that is yeah okay never mind though tell them tell them you bite both ends
of the tim-tam and then you put it in your coffee and you basically use it as a straw and it like
melts the cookie in a way that's just like unbelievable what is this and you get caught with the
chocolate flavor come in so good yeah uh-huh um i thought don't mess with the zozozozozo ron sohan
zohan because now i'm thinking of zohron yeah don't mess with the zohan in australia that was
You saw it there.
Yep, I went and saw that movie in a theater.
You know what's cool?
When you do something like that, see a movie somewhere,
you will always associate that place with that movie.
Even though they have nothing to do with each other.
Sex and the City movie, too, I think.
You saw there?
Were those around the same time?
I saw Groundhog Day in Israel, but they didn't have Groundhog Day, the actual day.
Oh, yeah, so what do they call it?
I'll see you again tomorrow.
Oh, my God, that's so funny.
And tomorrow again.
It was something like that.
The other question is like, where?
do you want to go what's calling you i feel like we kind of got to it but what would you settle on
of like japan seems high i also like i really i've always wanted to go to greece oh yeah
i love the mediterranean i've been to italy um i've been to israel i've not been to
greece i feel like i would i'd like to go there i also feel like uh that place is like if you
don't watch out it's like tourist trap central okay where you're you're
You're like spending all this money to wait in a line
to eat a meal that you're like, this is silly.
Yeah.
I felt the same way.
We're like Katrin.
Yeah.
Crazy.
But I found out that we have something
that most people don't have.
A legitimate high-level Greek expert
that will give us advice.
Stavros.
That's absolutely true.
Was my tour guide?
Yeah.
Everything I needed to do.
Does he hate doing that or is that easy for him?
Yeah.
Because he was like, I can't believe I can share
this about different island.
The less known, what are you looking for?
Oh, well, then don't do that.
do this.
That's so true.
Mm-hmm.
Huh.
Yeah, who's so helpful.
I had Ian Laura for Dominican Republic
and I had style for Greece.
And it was like, I couldn't have done it
without either of them.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah.
But yeah, I feel like a European something
I've meant to do, you know?
Maybe like Germany,
a Switzerland, something.
You know, I don't feel myself pulled
to like Moldova, but I don't know
what it's like there.
I'm sure you'll find.
find out something.
I went to, so when I do European tours,
I gotta like Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
So I gotta sandwich one day where I can't do anything.
And then, so Sunday to Thursday, I'm open.
I can go, I can stay in that town
or I can go early in the next town.
Oh, that's smart, I like that.
But one city has to get sandwiched,
which means I'm there for,
I get there that morning, leave the next morning.
And so it's gotta, like Brussels I've heard,
there's no point, it's fine for a show,
but you don't wanna be there.
Right.
So, so fine, I sandwiched Lubliano Slovenia
this last time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was like, I've never known how to say that out loud.
Yeah.
Until you just said it.
Capital of Slovenia.
It's much prettier than El Jebeljana, but that's how I say it in my head.
But I was like, oh, this place rules.
I did not expect this at all.
And I got to come back here for a week.
That's cool.
That is really cool.
Yeah.
Like I feel like Croatia probably has stuff like that too.
You're like, damn, this is.
There's an island in Croatia that I went.
My doctor told me about it.
And I had to go after Edinburgh.
I worked so hard.
What kind of a doctor?
Regular?
Like a regular.
dog yeah fucking dicks and shit yeah um and i was so frazzled after edinburgh that i was like hey
where's that place you told me some island that i won't mention that was just sunbathe yeah
jump in the adriatic or whatever and then just air dry off and just like and then you get old
all of a sudden really quickly you're on old beach yeah it was so nice and then i don't know what
the mainland's like but like yeah everything's pretty awesome everything is pretty awesome and
simultaneously everything kind of sucks yeah you could also do a tour
or he could do a tour and you meet up on the last stop and then stay for eight days after.
Look at that.
Now you're doing career planning and the travel.
I get the thing of like I'm wasting my time if I go straight vacation so you can couple it with work.
Sure.
And that also helps get him out of the you guys every now and then you need to do stand up or else you spiral in a way that's I learned during the pandemic where you come in and just start running bits and doing voices.
And I was like, hello, I'm reading a book.
Could you have said hello?
I'm coming into the room.
Could you have asked for my, he'll just start, go.
But that's what, that's the engine.
You guys have to, you have to train it because that's the thing that stops people that are like,
could have thought about doing stand-up.
The thing that stopped me was like, oh, I'd have to do it all the time consistently.
And you guys have to train your motor to do that.
So I get it.
I'm forgiving of it.
But we can acknowledge it exists.
You can probably do pretty well.
What?
If you tried it.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
It would be so embarrassing for it.
down. It would be embarrassing for everyone
involved. It would be... Are your
chicks doing stand-up now? And you're like, Durham her.
That is the way. That is the way. I told you to do this in another city.
That is. It never. I won't. I don't have
the regularity. If it's up to me to go to work, I won't.
She's actually really funny. She's actually doing
really well. Like, oh, okay.
It'd be so fun. The train passed.
The train has passed. I've done it twice.
I'll never do. I don't think I'd ever do it.
But you could go cover the fucking wheel thing.
You know the cheese wheel chasing thing?
They were all running down that fucking hill chasing a cheese wheel.
Where's that?
I don't know.
Maybe England.
Oh.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
And they all fucking fall and where is the cheese wheel?
Wouldn't that be like, that feels Dutch?
It does, right?
It doesn't feel like an English thing.
I don't know where the cheese wheel is.
I like the way.
I did not think this was how you planned vacations.
I thought you like knew the world and what you do is like, I want to cross the street where
everybody crosses the street.
I want to do the cheese wheel thing.
I want to sit and smoke cigarettes at a cafe.
Maybe we'll go to Scotland.
for the Highland Games or whatever those are.
That could be fun.
Cooper's Hill, cheese rolling, and wake.
Someone dies?
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
They fly and they're gluck.
Gloucester.
Gloucester.
Well, that's how you say the Massachusetts version.
Yeah, probably.
I don't know if that's what I call it there.
Gloucester.
Gloucester.
There's good beaches in Gloucester.
Yeah.
Wait.
Let's see this.
How far is this from do you think London?
I mean, it's not possible for it to be so far.
It's not worth it.
It's Gloucester, U.K.
Up at the, well, that's different.
That's Gloucester Shear.
That's not it?
No, it was the first thing that you scrolled past.
Glouc, just get rid of the shear.
Gloucester, UK.
See, the second thing down?
Yeah.
All right with the attitude.
It's right next to it, funny enough, but it might not have been, you know?
It could have been.
Maybe it's on the other side.
Abby Mead, Abbydale, Mattson.
Just 37-hour walk.
Or if you drive it, you can drive it.
You can drive it in 226.
That's nothing.
That's a train, too.
I'm sure they have a train.
So, yeah, go cover that for your job.
Sure.
Funny sports.
Yeah, and then, I don't know, make an excuse for that.
Legitimately excited for you.
Smash cut to two years from now when you're like, and you haven't gone anywhere?
You haven't visited me in this foreign prison once?
You can at least come visit.
Do you ever, have you ever been to a foreign prison?
It's too late to ask you this in the podcast.
Yeah, no, I've never been arrested in a foreign land.
Good.
That sounds scary to me.
Yeah, I've been ticketed
And what do you do with that?
You have to pay it?
You're never back.
I got shaken down in Thailand.
I should just pay the shakedown instead it was like six hours at City Hall to get my license back for it's to save a hundred bot.
It's to save $3.
And you just didn't want to pay it.
I was like, I'm not getting shaken down, no way.
This is a fucking bribe.
Yeah, we're like, it is a bribe and the guy's like, you really should just give me the $500.
Right.
And I'm like, oh, I know what you're doing.
It's like a ticket master fee.
You're like, I don't love this, but I'll just pay it.
It's the way things go.
I hate that so much.
much. Wait, what do you mean $130? The tickets are 40 each. What do you mean
130? Some states are doing laws where it's like they have to show you up front all of the
money. You're going to be better? Not let them charge you 40% on top. On a resale, then you
resell your ticket. Okay, I have two tickets and 50. It's $100. I got to resell these. Okay,
you're only getting 80 and the other person's paying $120. What? Yeah. I know. Or also
like, hey, I'm doing pre-sale because I'm a huge fan of this artist. But people that are huge
fans of this artist all did pre-sale and then there's nobody left to buy the other
tickets and so those tickets are cheaper and better and you're like wait but I'm the biggest
but I love you most and they don't stop scalpers for that much money it's all broken are I feel like
everything's breaking I talked to a guy who owned a hockey team just randomly okay was in a room
like an NHL okay and I was like hey how do you feel about ticket master because it's really I really
hated it both as a fan and as a someone who sells off ticket master he said we are actively
looking for other options.
Damn.
Hard every day.
The problem is the number two
is just so unprofessional
that we just can't rely on them.
But trust me, I know exactly we were saying
and it's nonstop looking for other options.
Yeah, so fuck you, ticket master.
It's on site is what I think we're saying.
Katie, thank you.
Everybody, once again, go listen to our podcast.
Benjamin Bros.
Hold on, I got it.
Casuals with Katie Nolan and.
And what?
Just you?
That's it.
Just me.
We had Sagalow on.
Today.
Sagalo is our guest today.
But this is going to be probably not coming out today.
So what does that have to do with anything?
My listeners try to do clues on when things were recorded.
Oh, now we know.
Just by references.
Once Kevin Ryan was like, yeah, I just bought a car.
Like, just bought a, wait, this is your second.
I remember when you said you bought a car on your other pie.
That was over a year ago.
Crazy.
Yeah.
Well, now I gave him a big.
I pulled the curtain back on.
Go back to that Sagalo episode.
That's the day that this was recorded.
Yeah.
All right.
Cool.
I feel, this is, thank you for doing this.
This is a fun one.
This was good.
I got a title of something, but this was a fun as hell.
You'll come up with it.
Yeah.
This actually helped me, like, think things out too.
Oh, good.
Yeah, for real.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Sick.
Bye, everybody.
Bye, studio.
All right, well, that's the episode.
Hope you guys enjoy it.
I hope you guys.
I hope you got it out some matter of that.
Now, thank you, Katie Nolan for coming in.
I am out trying to get a glimpse for two days of this.
I think it's just peeking out right now.
tiny del Torre I think it is hold on I'll give you a quick look the peaks it's been hiding in
the clouds for literally two days and I think it's just coming out to play right now
just for like a minute it's gonna dump back into the clouds and then there's more
peaks over there but those I can't really see that's about as good a glimpse as I can get there's a
10-hour hike that I might do tomorrow, but probably not. It doesn't seem like my style.
10 hours. It actually does seem like my style, doesn't it? Okay. Anyway, thank you, Katie
Nolan for coming in. And now here is what I wanted to tell you. I want to give you these tips
for yourself, for how to do travel yourself. Because I know I was talking to a independent contractor,
as it were that's what i do that's what she does uh creative i don't know whatever you're called but
somebody doesn't really work for anybody so i understand that our jobs are not are not going to be like
like your jobs i got to get a look at this i'm sorry god damn i mean can you see this whole
fucking field hold on look at this the scenery out here is just wild
with all that in the backdrop
and then like
oh my god
I can't even express
to you
uh
anyway
thank you Katie Nolan for coming in
you can check out her
on Instagram at Nolan Katie
if you have any ideas of where she should travel reach out to her
let her know
uh the casuals pod every Tuesday and Thursday
and uh
What is it?
Fan service live.
12 p.m.
at Mad Dog Talk Radio.
Only on Sirius XM.
12 p.m. every day.
Every day.
That's a fucking tough schedule.
Okay, that is going to make it tough for you to travel.
So now here, I realized I was talking to some creative and someone who has a time off to be able to go anywhere they want.
And I know that everybody has that.
So I'm not, it's, I want to do some tips for you guys who have regular 9 to 5ers,
or maybe not as free as Katie is to be able to like do your own travel and uh here's how to do it
just here's some tips first of all i put a link at the bottom of the screen allan please put it up
there for the passport agency to make a reservation to get your own passport um yeah get it
get it before you go because that's going to get in the way that's one of the number one things
that's going to get in the way is not having a passport um um
So follow the link at the bottom.
Just make an appointment.
Just if you can't make it, there's no harm done.
But just get that process started because here's what's going to help you go.
I'm going to give you a bunch of tips right now.
One, how do I do this?
Where I'm holding this and also, this is the problem with DIY.
How am I going to get over this fucking bog?
Okay.
By the way, I have to take a dump.
I'm out in the woods.
And if I find a good dump spot, I'm going to take a break.
Ooh, a lot of poop out here.
And I'll come back in a second.
You got, okay, tip one, plan your holiday.
Well, tip one is get your passport.
Tip two.
Plan your holidays wisely.
I was talking to, I don't want to say her name because I don't know she hasn't
talk to her parents about this yet, but, guys, Thanksgiving.
What are we doing anymore?
If you lived your life right
And I mean
Fucking branch
If you lived your life right
And I mean the way you'd do it in the 50s
Or 60s
When these traditions are started
In the 40s
You'd have your own family by now
If you're 26
You'd have a three-year-old child
And you'd be
Giving him or her
I guess just him
If you're in China
Their own Thanksgiving tradition
Their own memories
and you wouldn't be going home anymore.
You'd be doing your own thing.
So you don't have to still go home.
You're doing Christmas.
It's enough.
I get it.
If you have a family, it's like, oh, I can't.
By the way, guys, all these tips, I'm going to give, I'll tell you this in a second of how you can really take these in.
Thanksgiving is a fucking eight-day holiday for you with three days of sick leave.
You got to use your sick days.
I'm sorry, your vacation days wisely.
You take off Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
Thursday, Friday's already off.
So that means you get.
You leave Friday at work after work, you know, you go, I'm leaving at 4 p.m. 5 p.m. Friday before Thanksgiving.
You go right to the airport. You land in some place Saturday morning or late Friday night.
Yeah, they're gone. They're already gone.
Damn, it just disappears so fast.
Then you have Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday for Thanksgiving.
And by the way, if you like Thanksgiving, do it wherever you're at.
Mexico City, I've gone there.
I did that two years in a row.
I went to Merida one year.
They don't do Thanksgiving, but you can.
Go get turkey somewhere.
Go be with your friends.
Have your friends come with you to a Friendsgiving out and fucking Wahawk or some shit.
Oh, geez, that's fucking wild.
Let me.
Anyway, you get eight days for three.
That means Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Come home Sunday.
That brings me to tip two.
Come back on the red-eye Sundays.
You won't be fit to work that day.
I'm telling you, you just won't.
There's no way.
But don't schedule a meeting.
So, like, what if I have a meeting?
Don't schedule a meeting on Monday.
after a vacation's coming.
Reschedule everything for later.
Just go, hey, I'm not going to be available.
Let's do Tuesday or Wednesday.
And just be fucking really a bad employee on that Monday.
And come home on the ready,
you get in 6, 7 a.m.
If you're delayed, you let your boss know ahead of time.
To be due responsibly.
You know, and then you can go.
So that's eight days or nine days for only three days of a vacation.
By the way, sick days, take those.
Take those for fucking mental health.
That's what sick days are.
Americans' ideas of like,
you can never take a sick day
if you're not actually fucking bedridden.
No, if you've got to go breathe some air,
go, it's peeking out again,
go fucking be in nature with your dog
so for your mental health
so you don't go fucking nuts
and shoot up the place.
That's a sick day.
That's a valid sick day.
That's number two.
Your sick days, use them wisely.
Can you see this behind me?
By the way, guys, let me break it real quick.
All this advice is only going to be good if you want to take it.
If you're looking for a reason why you shouldn't do any of this, you're going to find it.
For sure.
But I'm just, I don't know, I'm trying to help you.
There's always going to be reasons why you can't travel.
And if you look for them, you will find them.
Always.
Always.
So I get back to it.
But keep in mind for any of this advice, like how can I make this work for me?
And then it'll help you.
Okay, back to the advice.
Tip number three, before accepting a new job offer, let them know, they give you the offer,
let them know you're planning on a big vacation.
Now, you haven't planned it yet, but now is the time.
The worst they're going to do is tell you no.
That's the worst they're going to do is say, no, no, no, we need you to start right away.
But no harm in asking.
So let's say you have a new, I got a job and you're like, okay, you've got to give you two weeks to your old job.
And they go, great, let's say it's February 1st.
Now, they go, we want you to start February 14th or 15th.
And you go, actually, I have this trip planned.
Would you mind if I started March 9th?
And generally, they're so happy the, and before you've taken the job, you haven't taken
the job offer yet.
And they're so happy to found the right candidate that go, yeah, yeah, sure, that's totally
fine.
If they say, no, no, we need you.
That's a big time for us.
It's okay.
No big deal.
I'll push that off till later.
But ask.
and then generally they'll give it to you and then you could take your fucking a three
four week holiday and go anywhere you want um tip four or five rent out your apartment
you're traveling for free if you rent out your apartment if money's an issue you're traveling
free if you rent out your apartment also if you do any work while you're gone that's tax
deductible that's it that's from that's from a Jew tax deductible if you do any work but
try not to do any work because you want to be out you want to be out you want to be able like
seize the day guys you can either be the guernaco or you can be the fucking puma and i'm telling you
i know i have a reputation of like of getting out there and doing wild stuff you know and being the
guy who travels i'm generally the guernaco i'm generally going to some city i don't really want to go
to do stand-up comedy something i love but that's only for one to two hours a day
you know maybe an hour 20 each show so two hours and 40 minutes i'm doing something i really love
and that means 21 and a half hours 21 hours and 20 minutes i'm stuck in fucking kansas city
or you know some place kansas is actually pretty cool great jazz club there um but i'm generally
the guanaco i'm generally the guy who's just fucking you know a fucking you know a
fucking bone for a puma but sometimes today I'm the fucking puma and it feels great don't you want
to be the puma I bet you do you don't want to be the guernaco or the fucking I guess that's
is that a horse is that a fucking horse head behind me on a pike I'd say unsettling I'd say
unsettling. And guys, you can find stuff like this too. If you're willing to take those fucking
eight days for three. What else? What's our next thing? SkyScanter. SkyScanter.com shows direct
flights from anywhere. So if you go to your local airport and go, there's a whole fucking rib cage
over there. Let's go. If you go to your local airport and put in SkyScanor, let's go to SkyScanor,
put in your local airport, you'll see anywhere there's a direct flight. And I've done this.
That's why I got the Dominican Republic. I had days off.
in what the fuck is this oh i mean what they fucking fuck bro whole ribca is that his fucking
is that is like torso there's bones everywhere i mean it was dragged here did you see uh
He said, oh, hoof!
Oh!
Literally just got scared.
Fucking full hoof.
Oh, you ever see the inside of a hoof?
God, they leave nothing.
It's between that and the buzzards.
They leave fucking nothing.
Oh, there's still fucking meat on that one.
Wow.
Oh, I got to talk to them.
I'm like, God damn.
Okay.
Pretty unsettling.
Yeah, sometimes I get really scared of Puma's out here.
One day, I was in my camper, and in the morning there was fucking a poop that wasn't there before.
And I'm like, oh, maybe it's just like a Guadaco, but it had fur in it.
So that's usually a sign.
God, you know how scary it is to go fucking take a poop when you know a Puma might be stalking you?
You ever get stalked, bro?
I mean, but who put this up?
I mean, there's no way that Puma put it up on a fucking pike.
Right?
No way.
God, look at that thing.
It took down a fucking horse.
That's somebody's fucking animal.
Took down a fucking horse.
Anyway, all right, back to the episode.
Sorry.
But isn't this fun?
Don't you want to do these things?
Don't you want to have experiences yet?
I didn't come here to look for fucking horse heads.
Okay, SkyScanter shows drug flight.
So I did it to Dominican Republic.
Like I looked, I had a 10 or 12 days off in between a show in Boston and a show in, I think, San Antonio.
So I go, where could I get direct from Boston Logan Airport?
And it gave me a bunch of cities.
And then it goes, where can I get from those cities to San Antonio or Austin or Dallas?
And it gave me nothing.
But on a layover, I could get from to Dominican Republic, straight from Boston, to
Dominican Republic, DR, and then on a layover, I got to San Antonio and I went straight there.
So I was able to, no, no, Dallas, I know what it was, Dallas to Boston.
Yeah, because I said goodbye to Greg Fitzsimmons.
He was in Fort Worth at the same time.
I was at the bad club.
He was at the good one.
We hung out and he dropped me off at the airport.
After we went to Dallas County.
I hope we can. I remember that. Um, sky scanner is your friend. Another tip. I don't know what number
we're up to. Alan, put these in. Sorry, I'm giving you more work before, right before the
holidays. Telling your friends that you're going. Tell them before you even go. It, it holds you
to it. If you tell your friends you're going, you're stuck, because then you have to explain why
you didn't go. So it does two things. One, it commits you. And two, um, ideas will come of what to do
when you're out there.
God damn, this fucking rain
is not the best.
But check this shit out.
This river when it's
I got my camper
way over there.
And if you can see it.
I'm in the middle of nowhere.
Wild camping.
I've never done it before.
It's for a wild.
Shit presents itself once you're out there.
I've been going on Rex.
So Rex, I'll help you.
So tell your friends you're going
and they'll be like, oh, my friend went there.
He said he went to this great restaurant.
oh okay what was it my friend went there he said he did wild camping where you could just
find campsites and just hole up what i want to do that and then you do um another tip don't look at
too many picks just decide what you want to do if you look at the picks nothing's going to live up to it
because the picks aren't listen the pick of that mountain of torres del piney are beautiful
they don't show the cloudy pictures and if i had seen them and i have you look
at it, you're like, oh, that's not as good.
But I didn't look at too many, so when I see it, they're like, oh, finally saw.
I mean, there are two days I spent trying to fucking get a sight of this thing.
Oh, fuck.
I mean, this isn't great.
It's not great at all.
Maybe I'll go take a poop now.
Don't look at too many picks.
It'll ruin it for you.
You can still have an amazing.
I found a hot spring, and it was cloudy, but I didn't know anything about it.
I thought it was just a regular little hot spring.
But it wasn't.
It was this amazing thing on a fjord.
And you're looking out, and it's tremendously hot.
If I looked at Picks on a beautiful day, I'd be disappointed.
But I didn't look at any, I didn't know what to expect.
And so it just blew me away.
On the highway, there's a highway down here and how to go.
Look at this.
Look at my campers.
So like, nothing is around me, bro.
Absolutely nothing.
And then boom, camper.
Right on the fucking.
water. You can't see it now, but back there's a snow cat mountain. There's a snow cat mountain.
There's a snow cat mountain. And then behind me, which we can never get a view of.
I mean, I guess we got a little view earlier. Tories don't pine me. Uh, don't look to
follow Rex. Recommendations. What number we're up to, Alan? Follow recommendations over any AI or
blogs. You know what you like and your friends know what you like. And if somebody tells you like,
oh my god you got to go to this beautiful nice restaurant like tim dillon would um in this place
you go yeah i'm not interested in that i don't want to do that i want to get street food
so you don't get people who aren't doing your thing telling you what to do like you would
on google maps uh the people weighing in on google maps are just some of people who share your ideas
and some who don't but if somebody says oh my god i had this most amazing meal
where it was just this family and they cook for you and it says fucking
If you're communal and they bring people from all over the world and everyone has to talk and
that might be your thing.
But if it is your thing, you go, wait, tell me more.
I'm interested in that.
And then they tell you more.
Recommendations over AI.
AI is going to ruin life.
Not for that stuff, but only because it's giving you a version of it that's for everybody.
And you're not everybody.
You have your specific deals.
Here's another tip.
If you've got a partner, a wife or a husband, be willing to travel without them.
I know it might be hard, but you can play golf without him, right?
So why not be able to travel without him?
Why not be able to say, I mean, I remember Leanne Kreischer going to Vietnam with her friends?
She wasn't going to wait anymore for fucking fatso to be able to take time off, and she just went with their friends.
I know another people that have been able to, I mean, look at this, dude.
Tell me that location isn't just the best location in the fucking world.
I've been here for two days, doing fuck all.
I've done other people who do it too
I've had girlfriends
I've said hey I'm leaving for three weeks
and they go what do you mean I'm like I'm leaving
they're like well I want to go
I'm like yeah well you have work don't you
I'm like all right well goodbye
and sometimes they're willing to come
and sometimes they're not but don't wait for them
do something with your friends do something alone
have whatever reason you want
to go out and go alone
have a reason have one thing to do in a town
I know these two chicks from Austin
who used to go do tour
tourism and they sent her on a comedy show. They showed up on a show of mine in Reykavik, Alaska.
And now they were going to do Alaska. I mean, sorry, Reykavik Iceland. They were going to do
Iceland and they wanted to for weeks. But they're comedy tourists. And they're like, well,
Ari's flying there. That's an excuse. Let's go. And so they went to Reykavik. They went to
my show and then they did the fucking ring road around Iceland. Caitlin Palufo comedian.
Wanted to see the A, yeah, yeah. She goes, I'm going to go see him in Mexico City. She's just got to have a
relationship and uh she goes i'm going she went alone she was scared but she had a blast she saw the
yeah yeah yes dan soda on this podcast he wanted to go see the fucking that metal band what are they called
i can never remember that name but dave gold played with him for a little bit queens of the stone age
hey what's a fucking sweden fucking goose what up with a stop in rakevick you used that queens of the stone age show
As a fucking excuse, where are you going to go, goose?
We can go swan.
As an excuse to go do whatever you wanted to do.
Find an excuse, that's another tip.
Find an excuse and make that build a whole trip around that.
Or just go and come back, but build a trip around it.
But be willing to travel with your partner.
Find an excuse to go.
Last one is, guys, hostels are actually really fun.
I know.
I know. I know. They're a little disgusting. But I want you to know. No one calls them youth hostels anymore. That's not a thing. No one calls them youth hostels. They're just hostels. And they're really fun. And if you get one that has a free breakfast, go to hostelworld.com. Use that app. It's tough because the social feature on there is not really exactly what you mean. But you want a free breakfast in the morning. Because what the free breakfast does, not always, but a lot, is it brings people together.
to have a meal
and you sit there and you eat the buffet
but read the reviews
if they go not really a social hostile
avoid that one but they all come
together for this free breakfast to get that free meal
to make ends meet especially people that have traveled
a long time and you get tips from them
you get those recommendations that I'm talking about
you get tips from those people and they tell you like what's to do
in the city oh there's fucking
cholita's wrestling in La Paz
what? Yeah these fucking
Cholitas were in the traditional
garb, get no fucking ring, and wrestle. And yeah, it was all for fucking gringoes for sure,
but it was so fun. I wouldn't know about that without that. Or there's some hike or there's
some restaurant. Oh, I talked to some guy who gave me a restaurant in Sucre, Bolivia.
He goes, it's like a Michelin Star restaurant, and it's 200 Boliviano's, which is like $40,
wine pairing too. I'm like, what? And man, it was amazing. Nativa.
Shout out Nativa.
Gone again.
I mean, you can sort of see the other mountain.
Let me zoom in.
But not really.
But I mean, guys, you can find...
There's my camper.
Don't you want to find places like this for yourself?
Oops.
Okay. So those are my tips. I should tell you that I should have told these before.
Guys, these tips are going to be easy to say, well, I can't do it for this reason or that reason.
You got to want to go. If you don't want to go places, and I think you do, that's why you're watching this podcast or listening to this podcast in general, because you have a desire to go see places. I don't care, but I think you do.
you got to want answers instead of problems.
You've got to want solutions instead of obstacles.
So I'm giving you all these things, all these tips.
There's always a reason why I won't work.
But you shouldn't be looking for the reasons why I won't work.
Look for the reasons why I did.
Why it will work.
I had a long talk with Louis C.K. a long time ago.
Right?
He's just unlucky Lou.
He hadn't done his FX show yet.
Done his third special in a row.
And I asked him how crazy it was.
I told him it was fucking nuts.
He's doing a special a year at that high level.
And he explained to me how to do it.
It was just long talk I've talked about on Skeptic Tank.
Oh, well, those are all gone now.
And in my head, I was like, yeah, sure, you can throw your material away and just do all this.
You have HBO willing to give you a special whenever you want.
What have I got?
I can only do an album.
I can't do any of this.
I don't have people calling for me.
I don't have money like this to fucking put into stuff and I don't have a fan base like you do.
And I didn't take any of his advice for about two years.
And then maybe three years.
And then it hit me that I'm looking for a reason
why one of the greatest comedians of all time,
why his advice, would not work for me.
Instead of looking for reasons
why one of the greatest comedians of all time,
why his advice would work for me.
What a fool.
I was a fucking chump.
And then I started following his advice
and fucking I started making a living.
Right after that, I started making a living on my own.
I was like, fuck it, let me just try.
Put out an album, we went to number one on iTunes,
you know, which is almost nothing, by the way.
Back then, it was like a flex,
but really it meant like 5,000 records sold.
Jim Gaffigan stays on iTunes is like, top.
God damn, this water's so fucking blue.
All the time.
He actually sells albums.
Fluffy sells albums.
But anyway, once in number one,
then I was like, let me put out a special.
did then another one and then I started making a living people started coming to my shows
I started committing myself to doing new material and I took his advice and I'm telling you
this advice is gonna help you if you're willing to take it and try to make it work
if you try not to make it work you can make that happen to okay well that's it everybody
I think that's uh that's the episode again follow k nolan oh fucking horse
uh damn by the way
field notes durable this has been in the rain any other notebook would have fallen apart right now
ralph pots thank you very much for uh the recommendation field notes um
i think i see a place to poop and i could kind of do it here it's wide open you can do it right
there okay nolan uh at nolan katie tell her where she should go um tell you like her if she's one of the
best, most knowledgeable sports people around, although she did say Aaron Judge would not resign
with the Yankees, and you were wrong. She's an amazing, she's a friend of mine, and you guys love
her. She's also one of the worst beer pong players of her encountered in my life.
Yeah, this guy's sad because this fucking buddy is, has a head up on a pike somewhere.
um hey buddy is there a place to poop around here that you know of just wondering if you know any
places to poop no no stay there you don't have to show me i just want okay all right my bad
my bad um check out how cool this water is uh thank you know on katie check out her
podcast the casuals every tuesday and thursday look how blue that fucking waters um and her
fan what is it fan service live 12 p.m. on mad dog radio serious xm before syriaxm goes away
don't neglect to tuning in and now guys it's been a hundred episodes oh so i got some thanks
i got some thanks to the people who made this possible um i honestly didn't know how far i'd
getting this i started doing the podcast before it even launched um on iPhones like this one
in my spare bedroom where my old skip the tanks used to be on a weird backdrop um that I
hung up behind me and uh 100 episodes is it's a fucking deal so I just want to thank some people
so here's all the people that helped me get there pepper goins for writing the theme song
The U-B-Triven theme song.
Thank you very much.
Gerard Gibran for the cartoon at the beginning of every episode.
May that, he's a comic in Vancouver.
Check him out.
Also, check out Pepper's stuff.
He's fucking nuts and weird, and you should use him for your theme songs.
Toby McMullen and Deez Nuts for building my studio in New York.
Man, me and Toby had such a fucking blast every day,
trying to think up the vibe of that thing.
That was one of the best months.
Months and a half of my life, legitimately.
Just being creative with, like, building things.
Look at this bird.
That's how fucking weird this bird is.
So that's a mom and dad, and I saw the,
I'm with her kids earlier.
Their kids are probably all dead now,
but Puma attack.
Yonk.
Thorough, my landlord,
for letting me do a podcast there
when she said no business,
and I go, hey, it's going to be business.
But it's not going to be much.
I'm barely going to be there
and when I am
it's going to be yeah a little bit of noise
I'm going to be screaming sometimes with people
but it's like on average
two three hours a week
and she goes yeah okay
do it so thank you Thorah for Trinidad's finest
also thank you for Pete
upstairs who died during the flood
had delayed the podcast for
quite some time after me and Toby
built up this whole studio and D's
there was a flood
and it totally flooded the place.
It was unusable.
Mold everywhere.
But the podcast studio part was saved somehow.
And Pete wouldn't open his door to let them air the place out.
Just refused to open.
He had a longstanding war with Thora.
Wouldn't open the door.
Finally, she was like, well, I got it.
There's going to be mold everywhere.
And he was floating in a puddle.
He was dead.
He was dead for quite some time and floating.
Anyway, it took forever to re-rent the place, and I was able to smoke cigars and, uh, ooh, maybe do a fire right here.
I was able to smoke cigars with people like Rob Lowe and Bobby Kelly and I'll sort this up before we had neighbors upstairs.
And eventually they were like, hey, I got a kid, dude, and this fucking cigar smoke is terrible.
I'm like, yeah, fair, fair enough.
But thank you, Pete, for giving me at least a fucking year of no neighbor where I could do whatever I want.
Liam Gwynn for making the background, the logo, that map, that first map in my old
apartment, the one that hung up that I still have, so I'll probably use it somewhere when I get
back.
And the logo, he made the UBtrip and stamp.
He's a great, great designer, and he loves podcasts.
If you've got a podcast or if you want something made, he's really interesting.
He's like, thought something, so, I mean, the art of it, so he likes doing wild shit.
Check them out on Abercadabber, at Abercadabur on Instagram.
Salvo, for coming up with the name, Ubi Trippin.
I was tossing over a bunch of names.
None of them were to be as fun.
Salva Alcano came up with U.B. Trippin, and I loved it, and thank you very much.
Tyler Penn, my graphic designer, whatever we put up videos on the screen, he shows the screens.
He also helped me build the map, like the rounded map in my studio, once you replace the full backdrop map.
sound engineer extraordinary any
um body's guess
any body's guests uh thank you very much for helping me with even this even the sound
system here like you really fucking did it for me um could not have done that without you
every time something broke uh you were right there with advice easy to work with thank you
um the people who designed my backdrop marcus leport and thomas schneider the one in my
Austin's studio. It's a fucking sick one. Thank you guys. My editing team. Alan
Caffy, editor extraordinaire. God, he's so fucking good. All this stuff, he uses his
fucking mind, puts in jokes every time I fail or some user error happens. God damn it.
He's right there to make fun of me and keep it fresh and interesting through editing.
Thank you, Alan Caffe. Chris Larson, heading up the editor.
Department of YMH. YMH is, well, let me, oh yeah, I'll just say it now, just the easiest
company to work with in the world. They are so professional and such pieces of shit at the
same time that it's like, I don't know why any comic would want to go to any other network
at all. It's so fun being over there and it's a family and I just fucking love it. I'm just glad
to be a part of it, to be honest. Chad Wallin for doing the first maybe 60 episodes of this
before moving on to other things
and doing that Ghana episode.
Niana Pellet
taking its place beautifully.
Josh Zolo, thank you very much
for fucking, you know,
helping me run all this shit.
I appreciate it.
Heather Mills and Caitlin sat at the...
Oh, fuck.
I'm at a breath.
It's not even high up.
At the goddamn.
Heather Mills and Caitlin sat in the fucking social media department, making clips, making funny, fucking stuff, taking a break from their main job, munching boxes all day to help me, you know, promote this show.
I really appreciate it. If you don't know them, they're two champion-level box munchers, devout lesbians who love getting their fucking chins just fucking soaked.
You just see them when I come into the office, just pruny.
their chin it looks like Jay Leno just like pruning I'm like what the
did you get chin implants and like no I've been munching box for fucking hours
and their skin gets pruny and I mean nothing can get them for munching box
but they stop to help promote this this podcast and I really appreciate that
it's not a it's not an easy thing to find when you get that
that high level of box munchers also the fucking YMH
ad team for i mean guys i'm making money being here and that's because of them allan the wrench abdine
um alley brys zach and gabby thank you guys very much legitimately if you're watching this
alt me being here um maybe you've done that without you guys look at that it's a cloudy day
this is like a shitty day here
God damn.
Five and one.
Yep.
And thank you guys.
Who else we got?
Did I remember everybody?
Leon.
Tyler, Marcus.
Oh.
Ryan Hall.
Thank you very much, buddy, for making this deal happen.
It took a long fucking time.
you helped convinced
everybody over there that I was worth working with
and I appreciate it like
immensely and
it's been a fucking great working with you on this
and
and even more on the other thing
that's going to come out
that we'll announce
in a couple months but
there you go there's a light
thank you
and the boss El Hefe Tom Segura
for deciding finally to put a
just a wild idea
to put a
to put a comedian on the YMH network
it was nuts
a lot of people wouldn't have done that
a lot of people would have just kept putting
non-comedies on but you had the fucking
foresight and wherewithal to take a chance
to work with someone who literally
no one else would work with
I burned every bridge I've ever come across
to get on the water of my own.
So Tom, the hefe, thanks man.
Seriously, you've helped save me like a bunch of times.
This being able to like just do this with that.
I was so DIY on my other podcast.
It took so much time.
And you built this fucking network where I was envious of you
because I'm like, you can just go in and say, press record, and then they start,
and then you just leave, and everything else gets taken care of, on a really high level
with people who really want to work there.
And then you're like, come be a part of it.
And so, man, it's been great.
This thing you set up, having a little bit of responsibility, it's really helped me.
So thanks, Tom.
I mean, honestly, this, the thing that's coming soon and convincing me to,
convincing me to do my juice special i was done with it you telling me like come on man what are you
doing that was like really good you should do something with that and i was like it's done and you were
like kind of let me see what a fucking idiot i was so thank you for that that's it that's everybody
that's everybody who's helped with this project um you be tripping i'm having a fucking blast
and also the guests also the guests 100 episodes probably what 95 guests who's
repeated. Sam Talent, Column Turrell. Who else is repeated? Sam Talent, Column
Tyneau, Ryan O'Neill. Wait, has that, oh, yeah. Ari Maddie, maybe, Rolf Potts.
Has Giulio's second episode been on, Julia Gallaudi? Oh, Mark Norman, Joe List.
yeah so let's say 93
95 something like that
guess and all the places we've been
thank you to the world for fucking taking people in that was gay
that's it guys
that's it 100 episodes up
and 100 episodes down
I'm already sure next week
Danny Polishik
will be taking us to Laos
first time going to Laos
first new country I mean there's so much poop here
who's gonna
if I take a shit here. And who's going to find me? I mean, I should just do it right here.
I'll never be able to get a more beautiful place to poop than right here.
Yeah. Right? Who's going to come up on me?
Yeah. Okay, guys. Also, thank you very much for wet wipes. I'm sorry, wet ones for
giving just them be gentle and sensitive wet wipes where you got a shit in the woods
look no further than wet ones to really the gentle ones to really caress your ass
and really get it clean it away that only a bidet could but you'll never get out in nature
i'm a shafir everybody um get out there go get your passport right now follow the link right
now at the bottom of the screen okay bye is that everybody it's everybody god
Can I just say, I'm having a fucking blast.
This has been the trip of my life.
And doing the occasional fucking weighing in with you guys
has been totally fine and kind of fun.
And just to be able to report on how much of a good time I'm having to somebody
has been pretty fucking cool, even if it's people I don't know,
but I kind of do know you.
All right.
Bye, get out there.
Make your own trips.
Guys, I forgot.
To thank some of the sponsors.
who have made this 100 episodes special.
Obviously, they're all, like, appreciate the money,
but there's a few that really stand out.
And also, by the way, should I just say the Patreon members,
the ones that are still subscribing,
even though I've legitimately put up nothing.
I haven't even set the person around the world.
I've got to do that.
I mean, I'm New Year's resolution.
I'm doing that by May, hopefully before.
But let's get, say, if I haven't done it by May,
I really am bad.
Yeah, I just.
got to get on that. Heather and Caitlin, send me the 10th finalist, and I'm just going to reach out
to them right now. But the sponsors that I like more than anybody, um, like I said, the money is
great for all of them, but, um, can I say Shopify has always let me do whatever ads I wanted to
in whatever order I wanted to and say the most fucked up shit to, to, to push their brand.
And I appreciate that, you know, there's some that just make me do dumb copies straight away. And
it's like, I'll do it, but it's like, what a waste.
Fahim Anwar said this once.
He was in a writer's room, Chuck Lorry.
They just talked about plot, and he was sitting there, not contributing.
He goes, guy, I felt like a Ferrari idling.
It's a high-level stand-up comic, and you're just sitting there having meetings about plots.
So Shopify, thanks for letting me do whatever I want.
And also sheath underwear, though, I don't know.
They don't sponsor much, but they're the number one underwear in comedy.
And they're the only ones I've brought out with me here on this trip.
See that?
That's a sheath brand.
They're great.
They hug my balls.
I love them.
If I do any other fucking whatever, I'm wearing sheath.
So those are the two ones, guys.
Yeah, support them because they're great.
Also, Gooder glasses came with me in this trip and the perfect jeans as well.
But, like, those two, Shopify and Sheath are like my favorite.
And the Patreon.
Okay, that's it.
That's the end of the episode.
Well, one more.
Let me show you where I pooped.
Come on, it's over this way.
It's over this way.
I did it right there.
Be the Puma!
