You Be Trippin' - Travel Roadblocks w/ Katie Nolan | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

Get out there and travel!!! Here is a link to the U.S. passport site if you need it DO IT NOW! https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports.html Follow Katie on Instagram here: https://www....instagram.com/natiekolan/ SPONSORS: -Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @‌MUDWTR with code TRIPPIN at https://mudwtr.com/TRIPPIN ! #mudwtrpod -Grab your own pair of The Dillon Freewaters flip-flops while supplies last at https://freewaters.com Thanks to YMH's very own Katelyn for help with this flipflop ad!!!! On this episode of You Be Trippin', Katie Nolan sits down with Ari Shaffir for a themed deep dive into Travel Roadblocks. Katie’s taken plenty of vacations, but she’s itching to do some real traveler stuff—and she’s honest about what’s holding her back. They talk through the big blockers: not knowing the language, worrying about cultural norms, the anxiety of looking like an obvious American abroad, and the whole overwhelming beast that is planning a trip. Ari dishes out his best seasoned-traveler advice, and Katie figures out what’s actually stopping her from getting out there. See ya, don't do anything I would do! You Be Trippin' Ep. 100 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - 100th Episode Introduction 00:12:20 - Language & Culture 00:31:46 - Trippy Stuff 00:42:33 - Pressure To Do It All 00:55:36 - Planning the Trip 01:15:38 - Katie's Next Adventure 01:35:08 - Sticking Out as a Tourist 01:53:47 - Outro, More Traveling Tips & 100th Episode Celebrations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, everybody, and welcome to you be tripping, episode, episode 100. It's been a great, almost, no, two years. Going into the start of the third year, everybody, 100 episodes, and I could not have done it without you, the watchers, and the listeners. You guys have made it all kind of worthwhile and enjoyable for me, and also all the guests that have come in. But because this is 2026 and because 100 episodes becomes the first of the year, I decided to make this one about resolutions.
Starting point is 00:00:54 What are we going to do this year? What are the roadblocks you guys have to travel, to get it out there, doing whatever you want to do? Whatever it is. Maybe you want to go visit temples in Cambodia. Why not do it this year? Maybe you want to go have diarrhea poop sprayed on your foot by a child through a ketchup bottle in India. Maybe go ahead and do it or drink Belgian beer and eat waffles in Brussels. I say, don't do that because you can literally do that anywhere in the world. It's really not that cool. Maybe this is the year. You and you're a strange father reconnect and you go visit every Major League ballpark in America.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Maybe. Maybe this is the year you buy a you be tripping t-shirt. Whatever you want to do, 2026 is going to be the year, and we cover everything getting in your way to make sure you can do it. Let's not die without visiting another country this year for the first time. So, also, by the way, while you're listening to this episode, why don't you go out and, or watching this episode, why don't you go out, Jesus Christ? I mean, no, but. Wow. Look, you guys, this is going to be the year you do stuff,
Starting point is 00:02:08 but you're not going to let anything get in the way. So why don't you go and visit the passport agency while you're listening or watching this episode. Just on the sidebar, go, open an account, make an appointment, and at least you'll have your passport so you can start stamping it. So when you do decide to travel, nothing is going to get in your way. It's episode 100, everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:25 My guest today is Katie Nolan, someone who, is devoutly, really never gone anywhere since she was a fucking little kid, little girl. Her Instagram is at Nolan Katie, N-O-L-A-N-K-A-N-K-A-T-I-E. Her podcast, The Casuals, she released every Tuesday and Thursday, and her radio show, Fan Service Live, is at 12 p.m. Eastern Daily on Mad Dog Radio Serious X-M. Wow. Getting all this? Guys, there's amazing places out there, and I know you want to go see them.
Starting point is 00:02:56 So we're going to cover everything you have. have to do in order to be able to go out and, I don't know, accomplish your travel goals this year. So nothing will get in your way. You're going to tell your friends, hey, I'm going to do it this year. I'm going to do it. I'm going to go, you know, wherever. I'm going to go eat guinea pig in Ecuador. Whatever you want to do, you're going to do it. And this episode is going to help you get there. It's been 100 episodes for me, everybody. Whatever your travel goals are, you're going to find. A minor to continue visiting two new countries every year. I got six this year. whatever years are you're going to do it and you're going to get those barriers out of the way
Starting point is 00:03:28 it's 100 episodes of you be tripping everybody i couldn't have done it without you i'm so stoked 26 it's a year of accomplishing your goals travel wise that's it play the music where you've been and where you're going this is our race travel show yeah we're going to talk about travel today. It's U.B. Trippin, yeah. All right, everybody, welcome to U.B. Trippin. It's a travel podcast. If you don't know, every week I go to a different place with a guest.
Starting point is 00:04:01 The Pleasant Blitz have been. We're not experts. Pretty clearly, we're not experts. And it's the only podcast in America right now that has never had any drama. No one's fucked anybody's girlfriend. Yes. No one's talk shit about comedians, how they're doing better than them, but not as better than them as they should.
Starting point is 00:04:19 It's a travel podcast, everybody, just fun times. And today, straight from TMZPN, she left. What happened to that network? And now straight to your hearts from the casuals podcast, Katie Nolan, everybody. It's me clapping for me. Hi. Katie, where are we going today? Is this where I tell you I said yes to this because you asked, but I don't travel like this.
Starting point is 00:04:42 So I have like pretty much nothing to tell you about. This is where you would tell me that. This would be the point. I'm trying to do this. It's not necessarily my year of yes, but I am trying to, my agents and everything are always like, you're saying no to everything all the time.
Starting point is 00:04:55 And you're about to leave for a little bit and I wanted to see you before you go. And so I wasn't going to say no to this. But I have been over the last few days, Dan has just heard me pacing the apartment being like, I don't know a story. Dan is her father. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:07 She lives with and takes care of. That's exactly right. He's very sick and very tall. So I don't have like a good story. A good crazy shit that happened. I studied abroad in Australia That's fun For a couple months
Starting point is 00:05:20 But I did it during the summer With somebody else's school So like I didn't do it right And it's I don't know if you know this When it's summer here in Australia It's not summer Cool, how cold did it get there It rained a lot
Starting point is 00:05:31 It was mostly rain Really? Yeah it was but everybody there was hot That's all my main memory From being in Sydney Was like everybody's hot and skinny I remember just the women Wore bikini tops as bras
Starting point is 00:05:44 And they just just like, hey, it's how I'm going to take this off and just have like shorts with bikini tops or jeans with bikini tops and I am for it. I was at my fattest. I gained that there's a box of Tim Tams behind you that I clocked when I came in. I used to eat those.
Starting point is 00:05:58 I would eat like, I discovered them when I got there and was like this is the greatest thing I've ever had in my life. And I think I probably had like at least two of those a week. The Tim TAM 10. Yeah, I gained the Tim TAM 10. It was a lot.
Starting point is 00:06:13 I also learned to surf while I was there and getting into a wetsuit when you're at your personal fattest weight is a real, I don't wish that on anyone. Because the wetsuit also goes straight up and then when it has to go out and back in. When you're just like trying to get into it and you're like, that's not my leg.
Starting point is 00:06:29 That's what two of my legs are supposed to be. It was really, with a bunch of strangers. I went to the other side of the world with a bunch of kids who all went to be you together. And I went to Hofstra. So it was like a, I don't know why I did that, Ari. And that's kind of why I'm here. I need you to teach me out of travel.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Brad Van Bradikoff? Who's the great coach there? Butch Van Bratikov? Are you attempting to connect with me? Hofstra? Like football? Basketball. I was going to say football was over by the time I got there.
Starting point is 00:06:57 Probably. I don't know. I don't know. Listen, rarely do I get to have a sports expert in here. And when I ever have an expert, if I can... Not an expert. I just like it. I just like watching it.
Starting point is 00:07:08 It's more ephemeral to me. I'm less of a stat head. I hope you're wrong. but you probably not. It would be very funny if you were wrong. I love that it keeps saying casuals podcast because you typed that in at one point. Hofstra?
Starting point is 00:07:23 Yeah. Okay, let's see. Legendary coach, Butch Van Breitikoff. Nice. Oh, died. Well, of course. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Everybody does. Nice. How did I remember that? I mean, what was the year that it was, wait, sorry. Coach Foster from 50. 95 to 1965 to 1962. Why the fuck?
Starting point is 00:07:44 Fuck what I know. In his first stent with Hofstra. Okay, then when? Let's see it here. Look at him. He's in black and white. You know it's always in black and white. Thanks you were telling me you're spying on me.
Starting point is 00:07:54 The Pride of Long Island. Is that our official website? What an ugly head or what is? Uh, coached in the NBA. Doing? I don't know. Basketball shit. Teaching young men, making young men into boys.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Long career. So we coached Hofster from. From, yeah, 55 to 62. Your eyes are good enough for this? Damn, that's a lot easier. Okay, first stint with Hofstra. 5-21 seasons in seven years, that's something. 5-21 seasons is great for Hofstra.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Well, we were good. We had a minute there. Born in 1922, you would never. Why would I know this person? And they were still the Flying Dutchman then. I wish. We were the Pride. The Pride?
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah, I guess Flying Dutchman was somehow deemed defensive. I never really looked into it, but I'm like, that's a ship. Hey, so I got one I want to push. You know how they're like, got to rename the Redskins, got to rename the Indians, got it whatever. I'm not going to weigh in on that. What I will do is let's take it further. The twins are regressive against twins.
Starting point is 00:08:54 In what way? You're naming them after a group of people, twins. This feels like something you've been so excited about. I do. And I want the Scalar brothers to head it up. To what end? For what? Fun.
Starting point is 00:09:06 And what would you rename them? I don't know. The lakes? The lakes? I don't know. Minneapolis. I mean, whatever. Anything, the wet spots?
Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah. The Minneapolis wet spots? I mean, if it... I know it's Twin Cities. I understand that. Right, right. I'm not talking about that. No.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I'm talking about we don't really care, to be honest. Sure, but you're just pretending. And so the Padres is offensive to fathers. We'd have to change that. I like where you're going with this. I hadn't even considered that. Right, of course. To Latino fathers.
Starting point is 00:09:36 That's right. Or to, or even to what? Religious people. Yeah. Yeah. What are Padres? Like, they're like... Like a reverend, a father?
Starting point is 00:09:44 I think so. Father, not the father of the son of the Holy Ghost. No. Anyway. Anyway. Okay, so the twins is offensive. I'm sure you could get it there. I think you've got less of a strong argument than, say, the Indians or the Redskins.
Starting point is 00:09:58 So let's do a theme episode. Okay. What, how should we, do you have any interest in traveling? I would love to be a lady who travels. I, in my mind, when I close my eyes, who is Katie Nolan? Yeah. I'm like, oh, she's adventurous. she's fun and free and unencumbered none of those things are actually true okay so when it comes to
Starting point is 00:10:18 traveling much like let's say a wedding the plan stage is where i get frozen because i could go anywhere i could see myself enjoying any of these things what i can't do is speak a lot of languages you don't need to it's best time okay let's talk about it go ahead let's talk about it so like how how are you going to so many countries where you cannot communicate? Okay, here, we're going to do this. We're going to do a brand new note. We're going to bring it over here. Katie's problems with travel.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Okay. Okay. I fear that if I can't communicate, if I can't express myself, boom. How will I get around? How will I problem solve? Okay. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Where is this? Here we go. language is one yeah yeah capitalize it fine yeah you know this way I'm that asshole fucking come on come on give me a give me a fucking break here you ride me like a fucking brady cough practice oh god this is gonna be the theme of the episode um oh yeah oh yeah what was officers oh they're right you told me okay language that's number one yeah you want to go into all these and then solve them all or do you want to go one by one oh that's a good question it's your podcast so what fits better into your usual format okay it's my podcast but i will let you know
Starting point is 00:11:41 what um i am one of the worst hosts in podcast okay the reason i'm successful is because i started before everyone yes which i would advise everyone to do right start before everyone it's too late yeah um it's actually i'm like the last one in this new podcast when i made it they said no more podcasts after casuals we are done it's it you're in the eighth wave right now and we were there in the middle but I whatever okay so we can go one by let's go one by one because I have to think of them as we talk and so I don't like know my list so how about this though how about this if you think of one as we're in one go oh by the way I've thought of another one we'll put it in the note and then we'll get back to it we'll get back to it perfect okay language yeah okay um
Starting point is 00:12:21 there's google translate now one if you're going to any major tour if you're not going to the jungle or anything like that or super super small towns everybody speaks English we live in beneficially and disbeneficially, the number one language. Not really. Isn't technically Chinese the number one language? Oh, yeah, but okay. But you just mean because there's so many people on China. That I'm being annoying.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Chinese don't count. Okay, what? You don't come in contact with them. They don't speak any of the language. So Chinese are like, you watch Walking Dead ever? No. But I hate where this is going. You familiar with it?
Starting point is 00:12:54 Yes, as a concept, zombies. Yeah, and it was like people become the enemies in every zombie movie. And then after season one of any of these, the zombies become just the background. And that's Chinese. They're just the background. They're there to make sure that whatever you're visiting,
Starting point is 00:13:12 tour of sites is no longer fun and to pack it up and go home. What are you talking about? They have no sense of personal space. They fucking take photos of the sunset with an iPad in front of you. So what? They're the worst. That's a nice big photo of the sunset. They don't meet up with anybody.
Starting point is 00:13:28 They stick to themselves. So if you meet somebody from like rural, which I respect. Rural Denmark. Yeah. They might not speak English. They're going to try their best because they're going to stay with you guys. They're going to try to be friendly.
Starting point is 00:13:37 The mandarin, they just don't. Okay, sure. All right. So you say America's English is the number one language. Yeah, there's a German and a Spanish guy, and they're in a hostel together. They're speaking English. Do you ever have, feel guilty at the lack of an attempt to understand the culture that you're observing? Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Here we go. Rico. Wait, where is this? Because I would feel guilty. We went to, Dan and I went to a wedding in Guatemala. Okay. And we lost our friend that, or maybe when we were flying back, the friend we have that speak Spanish wasn't flying on with us. And in that airport, I felt so guilty that I could not just, they couldn't tell me I had scissors in my bag and that it needed to go back through security because I don't speak Spanish. Yeah. And I felt like, what an ignorant American I am. unable to communicate with people who I should be communicating with.
Starting point is 00:14:37 That's valid. I felt bad about that. That's totally valid. And I suck at learning languages. I'm too old. Let me try to assuage. Nice. Those fears, that right?
Starting point is 00:14:45 I think. It's not wrong enough where you're like, definitely not. They knew what you meant. You ever have someone say a word? What did you mean by that? I don't actually need you to spell it? I'm almost positive. That's wrong.
Starting point is 00:14:55 But let me see what you mean. Use it in another sentence. When you meet someone in New York, You come across somebody from another country and they're barely able to communicate with you to try to ask for directions. Are you mad at them? No, but I'm different.
Starting point is 00:15:09 I'm a sweetie pie. Not everybody everywhere is a sweetie pie. And I don't know if you know this, our international reputation right now I don't think is like booming. I don't think people are like, shout out Americans. They're really level-headed, cool people.
Starting point is 00:15:22 I'd love to help them in any endeavor in which they need my help. Yeah, okay. That's another one. We'll get to that. Hey guys, today's episode of Ubi Chippin is brought you by mudwater. Guys, you ever get that crash that comes with coffee where you're wired in the morning? First thing, yo, you can't, you'll get everything done.
Starting point is 00:15:39 And then like two hours later, you get the crash. You're like, what was this supposed to do today? What was it supposed to do? It happens to me out here where I can't get that stuff. I get wired, and then I'm like, what's supposed to do? And I remember now what I'm supposed to do? Find a sick location for this mudwater ad. And I forgot because I was groggy.
Starting point is 00:15:55 I was groggy. So instead of doing it out in one of the most amazing places in the world, doing it from inside my camper it's just not as cool i need mudwater to get me where i'm it's functional it's functional mushrooms guys it's got lions mane and rashi it's got everything you need to get help you remember what you got to do so allan doesn't have to work over the holiday break and i let him down and the outro for the january 5th episode that's not come until well after christmas you're gonna have to take a break from your break buddy i'm sorry but if i had lions main if i had all the stuff in mudwater this wouldn't have
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Starting point is 00:17:08 episode the language let's do that first yes but i like this we're going to keep doing this is good okay already pause don't cut that i tell them to cut stuff but that's not just you and me pause yeah um i like the way this is going good okay I could have gone bad When I walked in I was like Ari might not be a friend anymore after I mean You definitely should have told me Oh actually I have not been anywhere
Starting point is 00:17:33 I know but we're working it out It's a year of yes and I'm here for it Thank you Year of maybe Yeah most places We'll speak English in touristy places I don't assume you're going to go to like deep deep places so I want to split the difference
Starting point is 00:17:48 between like a resort you never leave And a like too far into like a jungle I want to split the diff in my train traveling. You can learn, Google Translate is right there, to the point now where you can talk into it and speaks back. Huh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:02 I was in Paris, July and August, but August everything shuts down. So I was in a place, whatever, that didn't matter. But I couldn't tell this guy I wanted this kind of cheese and this kind of sausage. And I was like trying, trying. And then I just spoke into it. And he goes, oh, okay. And then he spoke into it back. Huh.
Starting point is 00:18:21 And then we got it. It was like, thanks a lot. Didn't seem to mind at all. none of that robots yeah the answer yeah number two yes so you can also just type in there any word or whatever you can it's fun to learn like 10 words and it is please thank you you're welcome bathroom restaurant um hello goodbye um one two three and that's gonna get you buy a lot I feel like left and right are helpful too. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Like directions-wise. That's another level of where it is. But if somebody foreign came up to you and go, I'm trying to think. Wear bathroom. Yeah, wear a bathroom. You'd get it. Yeah. I'd go, I don't, I'm sorry, where bathroom?
Starting point is 00:19:11 I can't wear a bathroom. Are you asking me where is the bathroom? I was in Hong Kong doing shows and somebody had a joke that. what I remember was going how unhelpful they are. It goes, if you mispronounce it slightly, they go, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, you fucking know. You know, exactly what I'm going to visit New York and go,
Starting point is 00:19:30 where's the employer state building? Yeah, I wouldn't go, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But I will make fun of you behind your bed. Employer, what the fuck. Sure. Right, but to your face, I'll go. It's right there. I do know what you mean at least.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yes, of course. Yes, of course. So you can learn that and it's fun. And then you put it into practice and you go, you know, do, dose, whatever. And then point, it's fun. You can get by. Okay. okay
Starting point is 00:19:52 It's kind of exciting Okay So there's that Yeah Google Translate And then learn a little bit of the language anyway Yeah and learn it anyway
Starting point is 00:20:00 And you put it into play And then you ask somebody How to say a word If somebody knows You know all here You don't change If you travel you don't change The language it's fine
Starting point is 00:20:10 All here you change it all the time All here you change it all the time Every new country You're like I've got to start over And it's annoying But Google Translate I saw a Chinese woman
Starting point is 00:20:20 and a German girl This is antithetical to your whole argument before interacting with each other Yeah Interesting She was one of the good ones The exception That proves the rule
Starting point is 00:20:33 And they were flirting with each other In Thailand at a bar With Google Translate And they had sex And they didn't speak How do you know that? How do you know that? I talked to the guy later
Starting point is 00:20:43 And I saw them leave And I was like, what happened? It goes, yeah I mean, you know It's doable You're absolutely right there is technology that I could learn how to use and could aid me in this. A lot of it is my, like, I wouldn't say I have social anxiety that's going a little far. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:59 But sometimes with like, the best example is like entering into a thing that is like a well-oiled machine and having to jump in and know the way of it makes me anxious sometimes. It's like if you go to a restaurant that everybody goes to that has like a counter service and there's a way to order and you go in not knowing anything and you get very like, I'm doing it wrong and I'm sorry I'm just trying my best that's how I feel a lot of the time if I'm traveling where I'm just like I'm trying not to do it wrong my first time I got it in and out you know the secret menu on in and out yeah and so I was so excited I learned about it you're like I know the secret I will have one animal style please you give a big wink yeah
Starting point is 00:21:37 and it goes well how do you want that I go fuck what do you mean and prep for this double double single I'm like oh man I learned this I was so excited yeah and that's in America yeah but I get that too where it's like I get nervous of like I'm I'm I'm I'm doing this so wrong and someone somewhere is in a corner going like oh my god yeah it gets easier the longer you've been there yeah you ask a few people like what's how do you do this and actually that's kind of one of the benefits you learn about how they do things a certain way which is living I believe they call it that's life that's what within a time when all I do is bitch about how much I hate I'm on my phone it's like well go see the world go see the world bump into it learn
Starting point is 00:22:16 from it I go oh wow they do things differently here right and you just yeah you just kind of like notice it right it kind of like shows you stuff about your way that they live yeah it makes you kind of look at your life different where you're like oh here it's like a customary to it's like I don't know way different cultures deal with like their elderly and you're like oh that's so different than so my friend rolf he's a travel writer he speaks all the time and uh at schools and he goes I mean almost every single time they've asked him if he's had dog if he's eaten dog and he goes it's just bound to come up he's really gotten he's traveled forever into weird places yeah and he's always like you guys are gonna fucking that's
Starting point is 00:22:54 and they're like have you or not and he goes yes I have however in the places that's served dog and don't think twice about it they look at the way we treat our elderly at shockingly bad so let's not judge them because it goes both ways right I couldn't figure out how to do it I was trying to thank you Katie it took me 10 episodes of blocking people's faces before I realize myself so I know I appreciate it yeah there's that thing that is that thing of like am I doing this wrong I don't know and then it could get you in trouble where you're like this seems wrong but I won't say anything and then and then one time some guy tried to jerk me off
Starting point is 00:23:31 from the back of a bus in Vietnam and I thought he was just being too close I didn't know we're going that way I thought he's just too close and then I go oh my god we're here I don't what are we doing here yeah and I was like okay he's close maybe that's just closer than my culture would get or I don't want to say anything right I'm not I don't want to to be an American prude or something. And then all of a sudden you're completing the hand, you're coming on your own belly. And you're like, what am I doing?
Starting point is 00:23:58 He's not to completion. I stopped him. Oh. I stopped him, Katie. That's like a bad haircut. I could see myself if I had a dick in that situation being like, I'm just going to let him finish me. And then I'll deal with the repercussions of that therapy by myself.
Starting point is 00:24:11 I met Becky on at Planchett at the coffee shop. Yeah. And he was waiting for therapy. And I saw him in the back and I walked by him, but I like brushed by him with my leg. it's the bathroom and then he didn't look up and then I brushed by him again he was like and then it's like oh it's you he was like I was so ready to fight because the first time I thought was an accident and the second time I was like who the fuck is this yeah um yeah those cultural things are like that's a bit of anxiety and then you learn it yeah and like oh this is how they do things here
Starting point is 00:24:38 and it's kind of fun and then you're like I kind of I think I want to start doing that myself that is cool yeah where you like learn from that and adapt you know take a little bit from everybody that's what that's our culture that's lame that's a dumb way to do things yeah you'd suck I'll observe that you do it while we're here but once I leave I will not be taking this with me yeah in China and a lot of places they have all these like I call them districts so they're like every store is a shoe store for three straight blocks huh and then every store in another district we do that's a little bit here but not as probably not exactly and I want to tell them like hey you'll make a lot more money if you're the only shoe store yeah what if you're the flower store
Starting point is 00:25:16 next to the shoe store instead of being the flower store among a sea of flower stores. Oh, while I'm getting shoes oh, I'll make sure to get flowers. There's got to be a reason. There's got to be. Delivery maybe ease of the truck only has to go to one just spitballing, I don't know. That could be it. Yeah, I don't know. It still bothers me.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Ecuador, they do that too. They do a lot of places. So China, if you're listening, and why would you be after what we said before? They are the worst stories. I'll stand by it until I die. Fix it. Yeah. I mean, they're doing fine. Just fine.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Jaina. Check next to language. You need to check that little. Because how do you feel about the answer? I didn't know Google Translate was at the point where it was speaking out loud and also speaking out loud for them. So I think that sounds like it solves my problem. Yeah. So when you get stuck in a place where you're like, oh shit, this guy really doesn't know English at all.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Right. There it is. Okay. Okay. Learning about culture. Should we do that next? Yeah. I feel like we did we got it a little bit in there yeah well a lot of people go travel and go
Starting point is 00:26:19 well you've met all these people but you didn't learn anything about the culture I think that's I don't think that's why you're even going is to talk to locals and learn about the culture I think you're going to like Jamaica to go to a beach yeah and you're going to Paris to eat fine restaurants you don't have to know about their food habits or about like how they vacation or something like that you can you can get it but that's actually not the reason you're going and I want to meet like other travelers right like oh this like Dutch guy who's in my hostel and then we're, yeah, I, I, I, like, I feel like eat, pray love ruined a generation of people traveling because it made you feel like you
Starting point is 00:26:59 would have this unique, like, you know, where you'd bump into a family who would then do this and then the, and you're just like, it's not really that. It's sort of, um, just what it is. It's sort of, you sightsee. Right. But some of those sightsees are pretty, pretty fucking cool and then sometimes you're just like waiting in line with another crowd of people and you're like it's not really even that cool of a thing yeah i don't sight see that much i mean if you go to the western wall or the louvre or like or like the berlin wall traveled i guess you went to the louvre when you went to paris yeah and i've been to the western wall
Starting point is 00:27:45 The Burt Crusher flip-clops. Take them somewhere fucking cool, man. I'm going to go in and out of this stuff and ask you a little about your trips. Did you get laid in Australia? No, but they are. The social, the way they moved at bars was so different. like one again I wasn't at my most confident I wasn't really out there for that it was mostly chocolate based a chocolate based trip um Katie I gotta think of a nickname but they uh there was a guy that hit on me when we were leaving a club one night um and they warned us about this in like our orientation they were like Australian men will call you that night like they will reach out the night they get your number they don't um it was a little and but then it was also like go away I was just talking to you and I chose to leave.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I didn't want to talk to you anymore. What are you doing? But no, I don't think, I did not, I did not get laid. I did not get laid in Australia. Okay. All right. Whatever. Did you make friends?
Starting point is 00:28:59 Maybe some, yeah. I have like a lifelong friend, Anez, who still lives in, in, I mean, Australia. I don't actually know where specifically. The names of things when it's not the main cities are very funny. What city were you in or did you travel? I was in Sydney. Okay. It was in Sydney.
Starting point is 00:29:12 I went up to, um, Melbourne for like a day, day trip there. Down to Melbourne. That's what I meant. No, it's, oh yeah, you're right. It's okay. But we went up here for something else. Brisbane? Cairns?
Starting point is 00:29:26 No, it was like, it was part of the Great Barrier Reef, but it was like not a big cool part. Cairns. Yeah, maybe. That sounds right. Cairns. Yeah. Like a Cairn Terrier.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Do you went on the Great Barrier Reef? Yeah, but it was like pretty dead by the time I was there. So it wasn't bright pink. It was like a little gray. and I just kept thinking a fish was touching me and I didn't like it so I don't think I had like the best time That's a lifer thing though
Starting point is 00:29:51 Yeah it was To go to the Great Barrier Reef It wasn't what I pictured it to be And I think that's because you get what you pay for And I don't think I was, I was a college student So I was just like going up to see it I wasn't like Training for it or anything
Starting point is 00:30:04 Okay I got one for later Oh also weed drugs put drugs down What do you mean finding them? Yeah Finding them and not getting arrest or trafficked or you know having to seek out drugs when you know nobody trust being able to trust the drug that you get from a random person oh yeah okay I can get to all these good
Starting point is 00:30:29 yeah for every for every reason that's to not go it's like sure but yeah I mean what are we said a day-to-day problem drugs yes drugs yes I feel like I need to I I'm on vacation. You want to find them. I want to do drugs. I want to smoke a little weed. What do you do? What's your drugs?
Starting point is 00:30:49 Weed. Just. Just weed. What about like if you're like, what about party drugs? I've never done, I've never done ecstasy. MDMA is that ecstasy? I've never done coke. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:05 I stay home and play video games and watch sports and watch stand-up comedy. That's my life. I snuggle with my dog. I order food I read books I don't like I'm not Do you dance? I'm minored in dance in college
Starting point is 00:31:23 I dance my whole life Club dance I would Dan's not much of a dance We're not like going out and shaking our hips But he will dance with me If I make him Don't tell anybody I said that
Starting point is 00:31:33 Do you ever be cut that out? No I just I just feel like I could see him being like no I don't It's a pretty good dance Um, okay, that's fine. Yeah, weed. Yeah. Why were you going to say, because I dance, I should do ecstasy?
Starting point is 00:31:52 I mean, it's more fun. The pitch to me that unsold me. They were like, you, um, you think you know what happy is until you've done this drug. And then you'll, and that's when I was like, I don't want to unlock a new level of happy, because then I'll want that all the time because I'm depressed. So I would be constantly seeking that happiness. Are you on anything? I just stopped my antidepressant, but I have ADD, so I'm on generic adderol.
Starting point is 00:32:20 I would, next time we talk- Which is Coke, is it not? So it's kind of the same. Next time we talk to your doctor, run by, just ask him, like, hey, did the, do what, am I on, what I'm on, does that, whatever, negatively with mushrooms, MDMA, or, okay, not that I'm doing it, but just whatever knows, is this could be more dangerous or less, or does, well, just negate it. That's just good advice, kids. Write that down. You can get weed in any hostel. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:48 You should have to go to a hostel. My brother did this when we were at a family trip to Costa Rica. I'm scared. I should be the weed guy. Yeah. How old were you in this? It was 2017. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Plenty old. Plenty old. Plenty old. Known as a weed guy. Yeah. At this point. It was embarrassing. Me and Rogan and Duncan once, we were in a whatever, trying to like roll a joint and none of us could do it.
Starting point is 00:33:10 And then Rogan's like, guys, if you're, this got out that we couldn't roll a joint we'd be done anyway you guys just like get in a put it in an apple smoke it I think we found someone else we found an usher like hey could you do this for us that's great but he was like I'll do it my brother was like I'll do it he went into a hostel and came out with weed huh so there's that Tom Rhodes's advice is just there's a statue in a square in every town stand by the statue and within an hour probably much less someone will offer you weed huh no one's ever laced weed true there's never been a story of someone true that's why yeah that's part of it where i can i recognize it that's why i don't do weed in like the
Starting point is 00:33:50 cartridges i only do flap because i'm like i want i recognize it i see it i know what the worst is gonna be is oregano yeah and you're like you motherfucker and you've lost money delicious though yeah but you didn't nothing bad's going to happen right okay so that solves that i guess also my friend i'm remembering this now who's works as a waiter ask any waiter how do i get weed good point And that's what me and my brother did in a lot in Israel. And it worked. We asked a waiter, he goes, I know a guy I can call. They definitely be offended.
Starting point is 00:34:15 You don't ever worry that someone's going to go like, I'm a police officer. Bang. Not waiters. No. No, but I mean like standing by a statue. Okay. So do a little research. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:26 I'm a bad traveler. Even though I travel a lot, I'm not great at it. I talk a big game and then I don't do what I actually stay. You should do. Love that. I love that kind of person. So I was in Greece. I finished my last show of my European tour and I was like, I'm going to walk home.
Starting point is 00:34:39 70 degrees out and the guy's like no I'll drive you the promoter and I'm like no I'm fine he goes no no it's safer I'm like buddy I travel a lot I'm actually a big traveler I know what I'm doing and he goes well if you know what you're doing you know you're going to walk through the heroin district to get home so he goes let me drive you a half hour the other way and then you'll be fine but that's dumb what you're doing I wouldn't walk there so I love that shout out that guy yeah he was right do a little research and how illegal it is okay you know because you don't want to be like, you know. Let's look at New York seven years ago.
Starting point is 00:35:12 If you got caught with weed by a cop, he would almost, almost completely, white chicks say you gotta drop that. And that's the end of it. Right. China, maybe not, you know, do a touch of research. Yeah, okay. And almost everywhere, it's either legal, Spain's legal now.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Really? Yeah, Switzerland's legal. Sick. So, or it's like, it's not a big deal. Right. Okay. Yeah. solved yeah so you find weed that way anyway um you might pay too much but who cares right
Starting point is 00:35:46 yeah that's vacation the money doesn't count the same it's like calories i would not advise taking weed with you to a country and that i wouldn't do because that at any point could be yeah that's like especially i don't think it's how it works but i think about all of the borders you'd cross and i'm like they add those up that's like a bunch of i'm in a lot of trouble yeah and that's where the dogs are i think at the when you land from a foreign in place. Yeah. And I would just, you know,
Starting point is 00:36:10 crumple under any sort of pressure. As soon as I'm interrogated, I'm just like, I'm sorry about luck. I'm pissing my pants. No. Yeah. So weed's gone.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Maybe? Yeah. We can figure that out. Yeah. Ask a degenerate. Weeds done. Well, yeah, but it's different. I don't just walk up to a degenerate.
Starting point is 00:36:32 You know, at the hotel when they're checking you in, if they look, seem normal. Yeah. Oh, also, anyone who recognize. as you, fell free to ask. Yeah, okay. That's not going to happen to me as much, I don't think, Ari. If you're with Dan, too.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Yeah, that's true. But it's always, they finance bros. That's not always. Right. But sometimes. Get me weed finance, bro. Get me weed. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Should we go on another one of these? Can we count that as a check? Yeah, I think so. I think we figured out how to get weed in a foreign country. Okay. Yeah, and it is fun. Sometimes it's so fucking strong. Yeah, that is the,
Starting point is 00:37:08 You got to, like, take it slow. Look, I'm a baby. I smoke weed almost every day, but it's not like I'm, like, smoking a ton of it. Right. Smoke, like, a very little bit of it. And then I go, like, you're happy. That's it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:20 I just put my shoulders back and go, everything's fine, actually, for the next hour. Yeah. Dude, I found some weed in Ecuador, and it was 30 bucks for 30 grams. Yeah. Which I don't understand how cheap that could be. Yeah. Took me, like, a week to find it because it was COVID, and it was, like, don't come near me kind of time. Remember that?
Starting point is 00:37:36 Yeah. And I was like, well, this must be the worst. It was like psychedelic. Yeah, it's crazy. I was like seeing like lines in the sky and stuff. Sick. It did me well. Yeah, good.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Congrats. Thanks. Learning about culture. Do we get to that? I think we kind of did. We kind of did. We kind of did, I think. Reputation of Americans.
Starting point is 00:37:59 That's like they all hate us. We have a bad reputation. I think so. I didn't say that, but they don't. No. that's here's what they see as Americans these people come here and we charge them for a meal and they give us more than we charge them it's nuts we fucking love Americans they see it's a hundred dollars and they just give us 120 I don't know what's wrong with them but we love
Starting point is 00:38:23 them okay they love our they love our music or our movies and the travelers aren't the dipshits from the fucking you know yeah that you see online or whatever they're people who are like worldly enough to go out and do something fun yeah so I just don't think that's the version of us they hate our politics sometimes and our colonialism you know but then also anybody's going to be like oh you guys do this like give me two minutes to see what your country's done wrong yeah also I don't even know of you yeah what about yeah or you just go we're number one yeah that works I think that that counteracts their thoughts of us yeah it's like we're really don't have that reputation.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Yeah. Because that's not who they come in contact with. Okay. Where would you want to go? I can't believe you went to the Great Barrier Reef. That's really cool. Is it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:15 That's life or shit. Yeah. And here's my thing. I like live in the moment and then my memory of it is like gone. I don't, I use it up. I experienced it. I could not tell you specifics about it. But you know what I can tell you?
Starting point is 00:39:29 What? The capital of every single one of these. No way. Mm-hmm. Tuvalu is Oh shit I started in the hardest part Samoa is Apia
Starting point is 00:39:40 Vanuatu is Port Vila Tonga I think is either I know it It's in there It'll come to me What's capital Turkmenistan?
Starting point is 00:39:55 Turkmenistan is Ashgabat Wow Mm-hmm Where did you get this skill? I studied them when I had to do Celebrity Jeopardy I was just like, let me just learn all the countries and all their capitals. Indonesia.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Jakarta. Yeah, you know that one. That's great. First of all, have you heard of? Turvallo before. Apparently, it's not Kiribati. Here's the thing, because I taught myself, I can't pronounce anything right.
Starting point is 00:40:19 I just say it the way that I read it to teach it to myself. The capital of that one is Tarawa. Wow. Nauru or whatever. That's Yaran. What? Yeah. These aren't even countries people have heard of.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Yes, these are. Well, yeah, you're right. They aren't. And I had never heard of them until recently. Papua New Guinea is, oh, it's Port Moresby. It says it right there, so that felt like cheating. Okay, Gabon. Okay, that is Libraville.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Yeah. Yeah, dude. God damn. Yeah, dude, I'm out here. Oh, my God. United States of America. Ooh. L.A.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Do you know Greenland? Not a country. It's Denmark. So the capital of Denmark is what, is that Copeland? Hagen, which... Looks like it. There's a star there. Or is that Sweden?
Starting point is 00:41:05 I get the Stockholm, Sweden. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so, you know, I have that if you ever need it. Wow, what a party skill. It's been fun. That's a great party skill. I used to not know where anything was. Now I could, if you took all the names off of the...
Starting point is 00:41:22 You need to leave the lines, but if you took the names off of Africa, I could tell you every... Chad? The capital of Chad is Enjamaena. I don't know if that's how you say it. I don't know if that's... I say it. Yeah. What about night?
Starting point is 00:41:36 We're going to skip that one. What about Sudan? Sudan is cartoon. Wow. This is nuts. Yeah, it's pretty cool. What did you just sit there and study all day? What?
Starting point is 00:41:46 Yeah, I just learned them. I felt like I should know. What happened was, I was afraid they were going to ask me a question about a country or a city and I would name a country. Like if they ask, like, in what city and I would say a country? And people would be like, that's so dumb. So first I was like, I'll study all the countries. I'll make sure I know the name of every country.
Starting point is 00:42:07 And then I was like, well, while I'm doing that, I might as well know where they go. And once I knew where they were, then I was like, I should probably know at least the capital. I had this, Monroe Martin on this podcast. He went to Kenya, and we referred to the country as Nairobi for most of it. That's very funny. He goes to Nairobi passport stamp.
Starting point is 00:42:24 That's very funny. And people had to crunches and go back like, guys, fix the cover. That's pretty funny. Yeah. And he went. Yeah. So that's useless. but a nice little diversion.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Okay. Social anxiety, maybe. Just like, I feel like we also did this with learning about culture. It's like I'm just worried of... Oh, right. That's what the learning about culture was. I know me, and I know if given the opportunity
Starting point is 00:42:47 to just stay home, a lot of the time I will. So I think I need a plan, but not too much of a plan that I'm now overwhelmed with trying to plan the perfect trip. I need to know how to strike the difference there in between those two. where it's like planned enough but with room to move.
Starting point is 00:43:06 But if I don't plan anything, I won't leave. I'll just like enjoy the hotel room. Which is lame and you know that. So lame. The worst possible way to travel. Yeah. So how do we overcome that? Plan.
Starting point is 00:43:20 But like how much? There's also something just to get you moving. Yeah. So it's either I'm going to go out and get coffee. I'm just going to go walk until I get coffee. Even when I moved to New York, I was like, I want ice cream. I'm going to bypass that until I find gelato. and just it gets you learning the streets.
Starting point is 00:43:35 So that travel writer guy, he talks about psychogeography as a way to get you moving. Yeah. And different people look for different things. So you just kind of walk around unless it's freezing cold and like notice something. So he was doing it in Paris.
Starting point is 00:43:50 You notice that black cat that was everywhere. That shot, the shot Negro or something like that. I mean, that's black cat in French, so. Right, the shot, what is it? that's it that shot noir yeah that thing and he goes I'm just gonna go walk around
Starting point is 00:44:10 and every time I notice that I'm gonna go up to it and just take note of it and it's gonna get me moving around the city and what is it I don't know an old book but there's like in its heyday it was a bustling nightclub
Starting point is 00:44:22 in what in its hey day it was a bustling nightclub that was part artist salon part rowdy musical that sounds right up my alley in the late 18s. Yeah, I love the Browdy Music Hall. Music Hall is such a great one. That sounds like you're toasting beers, but too hard.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Yes, exactly. Interesting. Henry Rollins always goes to find records. He's a huge record guy, so he's like, I want to find records. So whenever he goes anywhere. That's just cool. I don't think I have a lot in common with Henry Rollins. But like find some restaurants you want to eat at.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Do you think he knows the capitals of every country? Guaranteed not. He might. He might. He is the kind of guy who might. Yeah. But anyway, something to get you moving. So some activities or just like coffee or food or anything.
Starting point is 00:45:07 I don't know. How much do you feel like you have to do what the thing of that place is? Great question. Thanks. 50-50. Okay. If it's something I can't try anywhere, I'm like, I got to try it at least once. Like you're thinking like food-wise.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Yeah, I'll get a waffle in Belgium. Right, of course. So good though. Yeah. but then like you got to get a Guinness in Ireland I'm like I've had Guinness it's like kind of but isn't it the same they're going to be really particular about it and it's just a beer to me yeah and like how much is the one thing so like not how much cost I'm like how big is there a big thing so like I don't know I'm trying to think like I'm trying to think
Starting point is 00:45:51 let me think one if you're in New York you got a slice of pizza right you got it kind of have to unless you're here for an hour you can't have to in fact it would be hard not to yeah but you don't have to get pizza and a bagel right and a and a beer at McSorley's and you don't have to all those but you could you could so if there's something massive like the western wall in Jerusalem we're like this is kind of like a such a unique interesting thing we're all the way out here got to see I have a don't be an asshole rule like if you're that close just go you're not even going to see the Eiffel Tower yeah are you nuts yeah you know you don't have right there yeah you don't have to visit the fucking
Starting point is 00:46:29 doors guys grave in Paris right and you don't have to like take the Eiffel Tower tour you don't have to go up into the Eiffel but like make it part of you yeah yeah if you're if you're an hour or 20 minutes in the Grand Canyon like head over there bro don't be a fucking don't be silly it's right there yeah but wait why did we bring that up oh you asked me how much do I feel like I yeah how much do you feel like when you're near it you have to go do it a little But then the authentic thing is not like the actual experience. Yeah. So like we're New Yorkers, we're going to pizza every day.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Right. What we do is go to cool bars. Yeah, and talk about cool stuff. You know, be in apartments. Yeah, but I don't know. It's like get drunk a bar from the street. That's the real New York experience. Yeah, it's like in Italy, it's like you go to the Spanish steps,
Starting point is 00:47:13 but mostly because you're going to go have a bottle of wine and hang out and that's where people gather. Yeah. And also, is that the fun thing to do? Right. Let's have fun in a place. Yeah. When I was in Austria, my friend who's Austrian, and she was like,
Starting point is 00:47:23 like hey we're going to go by the river we're going to get burritos at this new cool place get the burritos and go by the river and like drink drink beers I'm like a burrito what a waste and it's like well that's what we're all doing right it's like the hip place right so it's like oh that's like authentic it's not traditional it's not like you know some like it's not what you travel out there to do flash fried chicken with like breading sure but like if they're all doing it then this is a fun time in austria yeah how was an austrian burrito fine fine Better than New York, actually. I mean, a burrito really can be, and that's not obviously how it should be,
Starting point is 00:47:57 but really anything you roll up into a tortilla. It really is. That's how you do fusion burritos. Right. It's just like roll it up in there, and we're calling it a burrito. It's an honor. You were in Paris. Yeah, I went to, Paris is the most I ever spent on a vacation, and it was just for me.
Starting point is 00:48:12 It was like on a whim. I've been thinking about going on a vacation. I was single and like. No, no, no, say it the whole thing. I will. Okay. I was on one of the apps. I started, like, seeing this guy, a musician,
Starting point is 00:48:29 that I was like, oh, this is totally gonna, and it wasn't. If I'd been paying attention to my own life, I would have been like, this is very stupid. I was clearly just, like, had been in a relationship for a long time, it was like first free or whatever. You were just banging? We didn't even bang. We didn't even bang.
Starting point is 00:48:45 We got close, but it's, you know, sometimes you get your period at a really inconvenient time. So anyway, whatever, I went to do something that I thought I was going to like see him at and he just like straight up ghosted me in a way that made me go like, fuck, I am who, what am I doing? I was like, why am I here? I'm, this is pathetic. And so I was like. At a place.
Starting point is 00:49:08 Live ghosting? Um, it was like a thing he had a show that I don't remember the details of it. It wasn't good. It was like if I had been more honest with myself, it had been past the, he had clearly made it clear like he wasn't interested and I was so like yeah this is sick um and so I kind of had this like come to Jesus moment with myself my friend Andrea came and met me at a bar and we were going to have dinner and then I was going to go to this show and then it like didn't happen and I was just sitting there waiting and then I was like what am I doing and my friend was like you got to like go on a
Starting point is 00:49:37 vacation for yourself and I was like great and I have a friend who had just moved to Paris maybe like a year or two before. And I was like, hey, I'm going to, you know how I always say I'm going to come visit? I was like, I'm going to come visit. And I booked the most expensive suite at the most expensive hotel that had a little balcony that opened up to like the Eiffel Tower. It was like in my hotel room. It was a two floor room that had like somebody brought my bag.
Starting point is 00:50:07 They insisted on bringing my bags up because there was, I wouldn't have been able to get it up the staircase in the room. It was amazing. I, like, just bled money for a week in Paris. And then I moved over to, like, the hotel room that's at, like, the Versailles. It was sick. It was sick. I spent so much money.
Starting point is 00:50:24 It was irresponsible. I sat outside my window one of the nights and smoked, like, a full pack of cigarettes just by myself drinking white wine. It was crazy. That's very cool. It was, yeah. You must have known you were cool while you were doing that. It felt sadder.
Starting point is 00:50:39 At the balcony, with facing the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. And just drinking, like, a little mini coffee. and like yeah and smoke it do you roll them or you buy them I bought them I bought him it was a barstool and I was rolling cigarettes and a big cat goes you roll your own I'm like sometimes and he goes don't you remember like like kind of try hard
Starting point is 00:50:56 and I'm like yeah yeah I know have you met me I'm trying to be a problem wait that's so fucking cool yeah it was it was like the way that I was like this is how rich people travel all the time I'm gonna let myself do it once I'm gonna get like the it was fucking expensive It was like thousands a night out of, it was crazy. Did you come back? Refreshed, awakened, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:19 I didn't even come close to fucking anybody. You would think that on a trip like that, you'd be like, let's go out and meet a French. I get very like, hi, no, sorry, no. When I'm just in a foreign, I'm not that cool. I'm not out here being like, yeah, and then I, you know, I was just kind of going through it on my own. I went to the Louvre. I went to, I hung out with my friend Jennifer, she took me to a bunch of places. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:42 How was it? It was nice. It's an art museum. Yeah, I went on the wrong day and I couldn't get in the other day. I feel like I'm not smart enough sometimes
Starting point is 00:51:49 where I'm just like I look at the art and I'm like that's very nice. I don't have some sort of like I can't sit in this room for 40 minutes and sometimes art speaks to you but sometimes I'm like I can it'll speak to me better
Starting point is 00:52:01 if I'm like at home researching about it and learning about it. I don't know. It's I love a museum but I'm not as sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for them. I hear you.
Starting point is 00:52:10 You look at it like if there's a plaque you could be like oh cool yeah there's no plaque then you're like what am I supposed to do now I like it and then like I
Starting point is 00:52:18 yeah I'm like what's my responsibility now I feel like fraud like what am I fucking loser oh I should just go home and fucking play video games I'm where culture goes to die and you're like
Starting point is 00:52:31 well it's just a museum you know yeah but you go to these things because you're supposed to that's one that's like that's the big one you see the one little painting whatever it's called
Starting point is 00:52:42 The one chick. Isn't the Mona Lisa? Is that what you're trying to? I don't think I did. I think I would remember and I don't think I did. I think the line was too long. I was like I just not, I didn't travel out here to wait in line.
Starting point is 00:52:52 It's not as, you know. When I saw it was closed but they give on Mondays I think and then they do special entries for high little people and it was Brad and Angelina. Oh. And not Angelina. No. It was a crazy one.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Jenny from the block. Brad and. So you mean Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lowe? Lopez. Not even the same. Pretty much got it to be honest. Yeah, we got there, didn't we? You knew what I meant.
Starting point is 00:53:20 And we saw them walking on the square. Oh, that's crazy. One of the friends for my class was right in his face taking pictures and all the popper, I was like, bro, that's not how we do it. He goes, I'm not one of you. Yeah, fair not. I'm getting this picture. And that split them up, I think. Damn, that was the thing.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Yeah, but they got their own private tour to the Louvre. That's crazy. Two people. That's cool. I mean, you could get that maybe. Not to the Louve. I mean, they probably. paid for it. I can see how they cooked the meat at Franklin's barbecue. I get one of those
Starting point is 00:53:50 a three-minute tour. Which some could say is even better. Yeah, some could say that. Than the Louvre. Who wants to be alone with Mona Lisa? Louvre. You can't even pronounce it. Louvre. Lvru. Lvre? I think it's Lauvre. That is. Let's get that started. Okay, you didn't have any romance there. By the way, I get that same shit where I'm like, I don't want to like people, even if they do talk, we do. But you want to get into these things, right? You want to have this experience. Oh, I went to France, and I kissed a man.
Starting point is 00:54:17 And then when a man gets too close to me, I go, is everything okay? Yeah. Please, I don't want to. Please, I'm not interested. Please, I'm scared. What the fuck is that? I don't know. I'm a pussy.
Starting point is 00:54:25 I don't know what your problem is. I have the same problem. I'm a huge baby. I'm like, oh, we couldn't have sex. I don't know you. But it's not even the sex. I'm sure once you talked a lot at a bar or something, you probably could. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:36 It's that first step. I know. I don't know. I just was very, oh, thank you. Okay, I'll just keep to myself. Yeah, like, I don't want to bother anybody. No. I was looking for weed.
Starting point is 00:54:47 I had a girlfriend, and I was looking for weed, and I was in Barcelona. We were on the, like, the main drag. And I was like, fuck, how do we find weed? And then some guys like, want weed? I was like, no, I'm good. And then she was like, we were looking for weed. I'm like, I know, I fucked up. Somebody talked to me.
Starting point is 00:55:02 I don't know how to do it. I know. I would not have expected that from you. Fascinating. I'm a bad traveler. In my mind, you're just out here being like, I'm Ari, I do this. You're like negotiating threesomes at the hostel.
Starting point is 00:55:14 I just, it's my vision of you is that you're just like, I'm not going to be in this here? I'm just here, she's interested in you. Now you, I don't know if she's your type, but I think I could see it working. We'll shoot it like this. That's my vision of you traveling. Yeah, I'm not that great at it.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Yeah, good. It's pretty fun to be bad. That makes me feel a little better. If you can do it, maybe so could I. Yeah, yeah. here's one the predispositions about like what what you're gonna get into and like the things you're supposed to do I think it holds everybody back where like I'm supposed to do this and this and this there instead you should I should be more open and it's like let it find me yeah I'll discover things once I get there
Starting point is 00:55:56 yeah and then what I thought was the big thing there I discovered later it was like no there's this whole other thing that you get into like I feel like let's do an example okay Japan okay if we We wanted to go to Japan. I do. Once you're over there, you're like, well, we might as, we should also do, like, soul or like Manila. And you're like, well, I feel like once we're over there, we should be doing, and then all of a sudden you're doing two days in each place.
Starting point is 00:56:23 Big mistake everybody makes. Right. Over planning. Right. You got to leave room for discovering things and just for walking around and taking in the sites. And the sites meaning like, they're homeless people just sitting right here. Or like, oh, look at the people on the outside.
Starting point is 00:56:37 cafe. Yeah. They're all the, oh, that guy's smoking next to a baby and it seems to be fine. Oh, they leave their babies outside and take their dogs
Starting point is 00:56:43 into the bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Me and Bobby Kelly were in Copenhagen for a festival and then we're eating and we're like, how's that baby outside?
Starting point is 00:56:51 They're like, they're like, they're like, the cold is good for them. Yeah, we're like, should we go get them? The parents, they not know? And the guy's like, what are you guys talking about? Somebody parked their baby outside. Yeah, they're like, what if somebody
Starting point is 00:57:00 takes it? And they're like, who would take a baby? And you're like, oh, in my country. Oh, it's quite a, it's quite profitable on the resale market. Where is calling you? Well, wait, wait, wait, let's stay on this. Well, they're kind of related because Dan and I have talked about, you know, he wants to, he's interested in Japan. Yeah, at this point, you should know, I'm a little bit autistic.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I want to make sure you're in focus. Okay. It's, what if I'm not? The whole time it hasn't been. We start over. we'll repeat all that right yeah um what if what dan has mentioned wanting to go to japan yeah i'll say language was my first biggest barrier second is we are not that cool dan and i don't dress in a way that japan's going to go that's great they're going to look at us and go what the fuck t-shirt jeans
Starting point is 00:57:56 every day you two t-shirt jeans sneakers every day uh-huh and i'm like if we go to japan we got to actually like try we got to like that's where we take our swings no one can see us we'll just take swings on fashion see if this vibes with us see if this vibes with us because don't you feel like you should Japan's like a cool looking place it's high on my list of places I should be going have you've never been oh it feels like a place you would have gone yeah I know so then I won't ask you about Japan because you don't know shit well I really do want to go yeah what are you going to do when you go to Japan what would you do obviously right would you just do Japan on the trip.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Okay. So that's another thing people get into. It's the over planning. And so they go, the first time I went to Australia, my dad was like, oh, you should go to New Zealand
Starting point is 00:58:39 while you're there. And it's like, no, it's, first of all, it's another, like, three hour flight. It's not as close as they make it sound like.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Do a New Zealand trip, another time. Yeah. You're always going to be like, I'm going to Turkey. It's like, well, may as well go to Greece and Iraq while you're there.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Right. That's not a great example. No, probably not. But like, uh, gotta go to Kuwait. Got to go to Kuwait. Your Burkut game's so good. You got to use it.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Kuwait City. Nice. One of the easy ones. It's a lot of those. Capital of Guatemala. What? Guatemala is, yeah, Guatemala City. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Mexico City. Oh, yeah. A lot of those. Damn. We appreciate those. Or like the capital of Singapore is Singapore. The capital of Djibouti is Djibouti. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:18 It's like some of them are really easy like that. What are these countries are there where the whole country is just one city? So there's, I don't think Andorra is. I think that's a. but it's very small Monaco Monaco is just a city I think
Starting point is 00:59:31 Vatican City Yeah that makes sense I don't know if San Marino Is just a city Or if it's Bigger than that Okay Oh now there's got to be more
Starting point is 00:59:43 And now my mind's just gonna go blank Yeah in Singapore Right that's the first one I knew Yeah I think Djibouti's like small But I don't think it's just one city I can't believe you
Starting point is 00:59:56 knew what, I haven't even heard of it. Tuvalu. Yeah. I don't even think I ever got to, one of those is Nukuwala, but I don't know which one is Tonga or Tuvalu. Um, wait, what were you saying? Oh, Funafuti. Sorry, the capital of Tuvalu is Funafuti. And the capital of Tonga is, I believe, Nuku alofa. If Tuvalu is the first one, I would have looked it up to check. I'm, you're the expert. To be honest, I do know now what it is, Funafuti from the expert. Yeah, you worded here first. Tokyo seems like one of those cities to me that's like a unique, like all these overcrowded towns and they're kind of the same everywhere,
Starting point is 01:00:35 except a few, New York, Paris, and like Tokyo where it's like it seems completely different. Yeah. I feel like just and maybe this is wrong, but I feel like waking up in it and existing in it is the best way to experience it. I'm just like, where do I go now to get my coffee? What is the subway like? What is the, this, like living a life like that? You know what I really want to do there?
Starting point is 01:01:01 I'll show a picture of the street crossing in Tokyo. You know the one with like everybody crosses at the same time? Let's see the images. Do you know what I'm talking about or no? No. Maybe. It's this. It's a four-way cross and everybody goes at once.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Damn. Wait. That's cool. Spat up. It's actually pretty good. Wow. Yeah, that's it. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:27 Oh, my God. And they're like. Like ants. Yeah, I really want to do that. Okay, you want to cross the street. I think we can make that happen. Okay. I want to do the thing where they push you onto the train with a stick.
Starting point is 01:01:39 What? You don't know that one? With a stick. Let's see if we can find that. Professional pushers shove passengers onto. They're onto. Yeah. Just cram them in.
Starting point is 01:01:49 No, thank you. No, thank you. Yeah, I want to do that. Look at them shoving them. No. They're all trying to get in. Look at this guy. So he's just there.
Starting point is 01:02:01 This is someone who's clearly not going to make it, right? You'd think. But how is he expecting to get in? The pushers. Oh, my God. This is wild. Breed less. Hey, everybody.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Be less. That guy got in. This is nuts. No way. Oh, my God. That girl's wearing a skirt. He's just shoving her in. Body parts.
Starting point is 01:02:24 How do you get all? It's like, excuse me, this might stop. Yeah, what does the whole river of people have to give? This is like a crowd crush nightmare. Oh, she's like, fuck it. I'm out. I'll walk. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:02:35 You want to do this, you're saying? Also, I don't see no, I don't see any sticks. I don't see any sticks. You are correct. I thought they had a stick one. Oh, my God. I thought they had where they shoved you on with a stick. Well, I might be wrong with that.
Starting point is 01:02:50 It may be a false memory. That's okay. We got to the bottom of it. So I want to do those two things. Okay. DeRosa's all. told me about like a video game city inside Tokyo. That's sick.
Starting point is 01:02:59 It's a whole district for video games and everybody plays them and they have everything ever made to use. Like in a cafe, like you just walk into a cafe and play up, you're like, I don't know, I'm just going to Google video game city. Yeah. Here's a fun thing. Yeah. Just finding out about stuff.
Starting point is 01:03:13 Yeah. Okay. Let's go video game city. I don't know. Neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. Boom.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Akihabara. It's widely known as Tokyo's premier video game in Otaku Culture District. It's a vibrant area packed with, look at that. Electronic stores, arcades, anime and manga shops, themed cafes. It's like, um, making it a must visit for gamers. You. Yeah. I'm less of a Japanese gamer.
Starting point is 01:03:43 I feel like gaming in anime is more closely tied in Japan than it is in my life. But. What do you play? I would still, yeah, like dumb stuff. But retro gaming can. visit the legendary super potato store love that classic classic i love that oh retro okay see we could do this this is great but that seems kind of fun like the experience is like i don't have to learn about your culture right i'm not worried about i mean you are learning about the culture kind of but it's
Starting point is 01:04:12 just like join in yeah i like that i would do that okay yeah Tokyo seems to go and then i would probably go out of Tokyo and go like Osaka yeah maybe i heard of that go to like some other place There's hikes. There's that big Fiji. Really? On an army base, military base. What does that mean? Did the mom like sneak on there to give birth there so he'd be like protected by the military?
Starting point is 01:04:38 I don't know. I just know he was born in Japan. That's cool. Does he have his? I don't think so. No, okay. Because it's the army base. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:47 It's one of those like technically America. It's like technically America. Yeah. Wow. But I had a kimono when I was a baby. Really? That's all I know. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:55 As an attempt to connect with the culture of where my father was born. So Japan. So you could go there with Dan. Yeah. It's, yeah. How would you get it done? Get what done? What would be the steps?
Starting point is 01:05:06 To planning my trip to Japan. Well, I'd Google Japan trip. That's where I'd start. Okay. And then I would try to find a nice hotel. Or I would maybe read about, this is, you feel how much this hurts me? Yeah, so pause at the hotel. Would you get overwhelmed, which I would of like, what if I don't get the right one?
Starting point is 01:05:23 they're all the right one it's like college can't be true they're all it's like college where it's like oh I should go on to this you're going to this you're going to say I'm so glad I chose this college everybody does that did I do almost everybody yeah I don't know if I did that yeah your BU friends love that the Hofstra friends love that yeah you know all my Maryland friends love that the ones who went to other place like I'm glad I went here it's like it's just it's college it's fun okay you know what's the right comedy club if somebody comes to town and you go you're just going to have a good time regardless yeah I also this is making me realize I have to weaponize Dan's part in this
Starting point is 01:05:55 because when we were trying to move into our apartment I got very obsessed with because we were getting all new furniture because we both just had old furniture was going to stay where it was and I got obsessed with like well where do I start the rug dictates the couch dictates the whatever and so it got to a point where I had this
Starting point is 01:06:11 like entire document of every couch that was long enough for him to lay down on and had all of the specifications and we went to see a couch and I was like oh I love this and Dan was like do you have this in this color that she likes. And they were like, yeah, I can show you what's over here.
Starting point is 01:06:26 And then we finished sitting on it. And I was like, okay, well, I got to update the spreadsheet now. And Dan just looked at the guy and was like, we're going to buy this couch. And I was like, I would never do that. I never take the step. I plan and I keep zooming in and zooming in and zooming in. And then he finally goes, you know the, this is what you want. We're getting this.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Is it in the range of acceptable? Right. Dude, I do the same thing. A thousand times we do the same thing. And I have to have someone else come in and be like, someone has to go, it's this is fine though, right? Just get this. It's going to go away. Because I'm like well once you start thinking about I only have so many times to travel in my life is Japan even at the top of the list of the places I want to go in my and then you're just like Katie you're exhausting just pick a fucking place and go to it I think any of the however many places that are calling you in any way are the right places I don't have any interest in Moscow or Russia some people do then it's right for them but I have interest in like 30 other places and so it's the same thing I'm like what if it's like where's it work out in time and where you are on the road yeah you know I'm
Starting point is 01:07:23 So yeah, find a hotel with decent reviews, fine. If you have somebody who's been there, any recommendations? I was going to say I'd go to probably Reddit and see people be like, went to Tokyo, here was what we did. And then, you know, not copy anybody, but just look at them and go like, oh, is this? What is my vibe? What's not my vibe? Yeah, this sounds like something.
Starting point is 01:07:40 And someone go like, oh, I tried that and I hated that. Or someone's like, I had a very different experience. I really loved that. I love looking up. When I have a problem, I love looking up what people on Reddit have said they wish they knew about their experience before they had it. but they're writing it after they've had the experience. Because then I go, okay, they think they should have known that before.
Starting point is 01:07:59 I'm in the before stage. I can learn from this. When I went to Paris, I was so nervous I wanted to find the right cafes to sit and roll cigarettes and drink coffee. And I was like, I heard Reddit's making a huge resurgence because everyone's getting, not everyone, a lot of people getting sick of AI telling them what they think they should do. Yes. And they kind of want to hear from real people.
Starting point is 01:08:17 Yes. Which then you have to go like, hopefully Reddit stays real people. Would we even know if they were all replaced with AI at this point? Are we all already just all getting cycled into this fucking? Are we even real? No. We've been replaced decades ago. Let's blink and be in Japan.
Starting point is 01:08:34 That's what I'm saying. If this isn't real, why can't I blink and be in Japan? Do it. Imagine if it did. And then we were like, what the fuck? You don't think of that. Just people cross this in Japan. We're in the intersection.
Starting point is 01:08:47 I'm just trying to go Google Translate. Give me out. Give me out. Yeah, so that stuff When I saw when I went I was like, how do I find the right cafe? Like, how do I find the cafes? Yes, you don't want to do it wrong.
Starting point is 01:09:00 If people are ready, bro, you're overthinking it. You will find a cafe. A cafe is a cafe is a cafe. And there are three on every block And I didn't realize that until I got there. And every single one of them is full of people that you're like, you don't have a job. You just sit here all day and look at people.
Starting point is 01:09:13 I was like, I want to get an Airbnb near a cafe. And they were like, bro, you will. Right. You're fine. Don't just get an Airbnb. Yeah, that's like, I want to. a book in New York, well, I'll see a pigeon. And you're like, you just truly, drop a pin.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Drop a fucking pin. Yeah, so there's that. So, okay, so that's taken care of. You've got to convince your man. And figure out of time. I mean, you guys and your contracts with your tours. Sure, that's the problem. What's the solution?
Starting point is 01:09:43 We'd have to plan it in advance. Now, okay, now let me tell you truthfully what happens right now. My brain goes, well, while you're talking about planning, maybe you could plan that fucking wedding and then I go well and then I'll do none of these things and now I fall back down the stairs and now I'm like we're not going anywhere we're not going on a trip until I plan my wedding that was like I'm not planning my wedding until I get a job and then I got I plan the podcast got a job and now I'm like I don't it's the order in which to do things um always fucks me up yeah because I'm like well what if I know I go on this big planned trip and my family's like
Starting point is 01:10:21 Hello, please get married before we all, you know, before the world ends. Yeah. I'm in the same thing right now. I've got to get everything taken care of before I leave. And I'm like, I'll do one thing at a time. But sometimes like, but one thing includes four weeks of shipping. Right. To get something here.
Starting point is 01:10:34 I'm like, oh, shit, I should have done that before. I should have done that later. And now I'm fucked. And then I can't do anything. And I scroll Instagram. It's so, Ari, it's so true and embarrassing. What an embarrassing truth just sitting there. When you go, well, there's so much to do, I couldn't possibly.
Starting point is 01:10:51 we do, I guess I'll just watch TikTok. And then like, you could have got them both done. I know. I know. Okay, here's my advice of overcoming that. My promoter in Romania wanted to plan this trip to Thailand or whatever. Let's just say Thailand. It might have been, it might have been, um, underrated town.
Starting point is 01:11:09 Really? Yeah. All there, you know how Berlin is like, um, electronic dance music is their underground scene? It's post punk in Bucharest. Oh, cool. So the same dingy, like dark, whatever, warehousey things. Yeah. They're doing like Susi Su and the band.
Starting point is 01:11:21 And like they're all dancing of that. It's pretty wild. That's kind of sick. Good gymnastics too. Yeah, we all know the one. Yeah. That's the name, Mary Louretton. Nadia Comey.
Starting point is 01:11:33 Um, so anyway, he was like worried when's the right time. When's the same sort of thing. Yeah. And I was like, so are you gonna go? And he goes, you know what I did? I just bought a plane ticket. Yeah. And then that made me figure it out.
Starting point is 01:11:46 I bought it for four months or now. And if I'm three weeks out, it's actually coming. Right. I have to go. waste a ticket. No one wants to do that. That's a, that's not bad. It's really not bad.
Starting point is 01:11:56 Get the ticket and then just put it on each of your calendars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, hey, we can't book anything right now. Right. Because it's, we're doing this Japan trip. Huh. And then, like, as it gets close. I mean, some stuff you can do on the way to the airport.
Starting point is 01:12:08 I kind of love that. That is, like, igniting a flame. I'm feeling like, oh, okay, because I'm always looking for ways to basically trick myself into doing the stuff I have to do. Uh-huh. Because if I have to consciously do it. Yeah. That's where I struggle.
Starting point is 01:12:20 That's where my brain goes, Like, well, and I can't possibly start until I do this and then I do this. But if I just can trick myself into like, well, look, now we're here. You're not going to throw away, you know, $2,000. Yeah, you're not going to throw away the money. Yeah, you've got to go. Yeah. That could work.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Yeah, that could be it. You clear, like, well, what week do we have often is unlikely for something to come up majorly? Yeah. All right, that's the week we're doing it. You never know when something major is going to come. But unlikely. Yeah. And then my brain also just goes, well, what if instead of going so far away?
Starting point is 01:12:51 what if we do we start small we go on a weekend trip or like a middle of the week trip to somewhere not super far away but somewhere that we can just go on a little jaunt like a London type thing and then pop back over you know like not go all because Japan is like how long's that flight you probably got to go this way right I think so yeah yeah and I've done this flight and that was like a day fucking shit crazy and you have to fly to LA first and then you take off from L.A. and go all the way. And that's a forever flight. Crazy. I was going once from L.A. to Australia. And the first time I went, it was on a UFC free ticket, first class. Damn. Dana White came up to me. What? And he goes, do you know how much your ticket cost? Because Rogan had his contract, he gets a free companion ticket. When they were going to, like, Alabama was the big exotic place.
Starting point is 01:13:40 He negotiated that. He goes, do you know how much your ticket costs? I'm like, I know. Give me half of it, bro. I'll sit and coach. You don't think I desperately need 12 grand? Right. But it was nice. I flew. That was the first flight I took where I wasn't in first class. It had a first class experience because they know you're on that flight for so long. That was the first flight where every chair, this was also partially the year, but every chair you were at had a TV with an unlimited, like on demand of anything.
Starting point is 01:14:10 I just remember being like, this is crazy. I was like everybody's sleeping. This is nuts. I'm going to watch like the entire summer high tie season. Like this was, it was, it was, it ruled. And on the way to Australia, what a perfect show to watch. It was perfect.
Starting point is 01:14:23 It was the best. Maca Bay. So maybe I go somewhere closer. Maybe I don't dream so big. Maybe I don't take such a big chunk. Mogadishu this time. Second time I went to Australia. Second time I was in Australia, I got my seat and it was a guy who was, who's, who's,
Starting point is 01:14:42 who, Ralphie Mae's, wait, I'm trying to think, who would you know that's this fat. I know Ralfi May. Leff fur, like, but like, I know Ralphie Mae more than I don't love for. Okay, Ralphie Mae. And so he was sitting next to me and I put my house like, hey, you don't put my stuff, you know, down. And then I went to the stewardess and go, hey, no way.
Starting point is 01:14:57 No fucking way for 13 hours. What's he supposed to do? He's not supposed to do anything. But I pay for a full ticket. And they go, sir, what do you mean? And they walked over. They go, I'll catch a new seat. Well, that was nice of them.
Starting point is 01:15:07 Yeah. I'm like, I'm not going to make a big deal of this in front of them. Their flight attendants must be better equipped to go, I'll take care of that. It's 13 hours. Because that's sitting there. Was it that sitting that long on a flight to have to do anything uncomfortable? Also, you know those flight attendants I feel the worst for?
Starting point is 01:15:23 LLs. Why? Just because of the high busy Jews. Give me another bag of chips. Hey, can I get this? Can I walk into the cockpit for a second? I just need something. Oh.
Starting point is 01:15:33 Can I get a little pair of those wings? Do you have any wings? Can I get some wings? Can I get a few more? I might need them for later. I know other people. I got other kids. They're kids, I promise.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Yeah, where could you go that's not that far? All of these. What about Cuba? That's too rural. That's not going to happen for you. Why is that? What's that? What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:15:49 It might be too rustic for you guys. What does that mean? What does that mean? I mean for Dan. I mean for Dan. I don't know if he's ready to do that level of rustic. Okay. Of not having luxuries.
Starting point is 01:15:59 Maybe power outages. Damn, you call them a soft-handed baby just now. I just don't know. You said he's got no dirt under his fingernails. I did kind of say that. You just called him veal. His feet have never touched the ground. Dominican Republic.
Starting point is 01:16:13 I've been there. Okay. You have. I went there on like another one of those trips where I just grabbed a girlfriend and was like, let's go on a fucking vacation. And we got a cabana. And we just lived there in a, I don't know. Hold on.
Starting point is 01:16:26 What's the resort? It was a resort. It was like seven seas or seven winds, seven sands. Yeah. Google Maps. D.R. I know this. I know what I should.
Starting point is 01:16:39 If I can get it before I type it in. There's no chance we're talking about the same place. There were a million resorts. that I thought, I think, I thought. It's the part of it, Punta Kana. Oh, yeah, I think so. I think it was Punta Kana. So how was it?
Starting point is 01:16:54 It was great. It was, uh, we just, all we did was like read shitty beach reads and drink drinks. And it was all inclusive. So we went to all the different restaurants and. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it was like literally that one of, yes, it was one of those vacations where you go like, oh, you didn't see anything of the island. You enjoyed its ocean and its coast and its resort.
Starting point is 01:17:12 But Lewis convinced me on this where he goes to Jamaica and he just rentsavilla and just like stays here has a chef come in and i'm like but you didn't see in jamaica goes i'm not looking to be at a beach at a beautiful beach and rockaway's not cutting it most of my vacationing has been like when it's been two years since i've like left my home type of or i've been working and i go like away to somewhere like i've been to um oh what's the island that i think got really hit by a hurricane turks and cacos uh-huh we gotta go back I went there. We got to go back.
Starting point is 01:17:44 We got to. Yeah. I went there for like a week and just like got hammered on the beach and like took a turn my phone off, took a fucking break. That's like a, and that to me is what resorts are good for. But I don't want to go do that in like a place you're traveling to. It's like I'm trying to just go to a beach in those situations. I got it.
Starting point is 01:18:04 What? Mexico City. Okay. Have you been? No. If not for comedy, top five country cities I would move to. But no comment. Dead comedy scene.
Starting point is 01:18:14 It's not for me there. No, there's like a lively one. And Mexico's not mad at us in any way. They don't resent us in any way. Why would they? I don't know, just the way we're kind of. Treating the people that left Mexico?
Starting point is 01:18:30 The way we, well, yeah, okay. It's not the ones. I meant more like the rhetoric in general, how we speak about it as a country isn't currently. It's not us. So me and Bobby were in Cuba. Yeah. And one guy, not all of them, it didn't come up at all,
Starting point is 01:18:46 one guy goes, hey, I don't blame you. And I was like, for the first I was like, why would you? Oh. Oh, right, because Kennedy crippled your fucking economy and no one reversed it. Yeah. Oh, fair, yeah. You go, I'm Canadian, so I don't even know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 01:19:02 I brought Canadian money. What's crazy is that I'm Canadian to exchange. That's so crazy. I get what you're saying because I'm from Winnipeg, a city you won't know enough to quiz me on. You guys are looking up, I'm looking down. So it's, you wouldn't have. a follow-up if I say I'm from
Starting point is 01:19:14 Regina. Boy, I tell you. They don't talk like about Saskatoon, I don't know, Mexico City. It's so fun. Okay. The food is amazing. Okay. It's gentrified and safe in lots of parts of it. There's also the art scene is crazy. I need a gentrified and safe. Well, because the fear of Mexico's people go is
Starting point is 01:19:33 like Tijuana. Oh, I don't they do. Everybody thinks Tijuana's happening all over Mexico. That's the problem with Americans. Pretty wild. Yeah. That would be a pretty wild, dumb thing to think. Don't you, but we do. Yeah, they view their countries as one thing. Yeah, oh, nice.
Starting point is 01:19:48 Instead of, like, there's different regions. Contain multitudes. Yeah, but people always go, like, isn't that country, isn't Brazil dangerous? You're like, what do you mean? Where do you mean? Isn't America dangerous if you're trying hard enough? Yeah. So what are Mexico City?
Starting point is 01:20:02 That's a quick one. You direct flight for sure. What do you do when you're there? Ruins. You can do that. Walk around, get amazing food. One taco and move, one taco and move. one taco and move
Starting point is 01:20:13 one taco and move a taco and move a taco crawl definitely yes they have them mapped out by the way you can map out
Starting point is 01:20:19 your own I know people that can map out a taco crawl for you sick bespoke I like that
Starting point is 01:20:24 Frida Kahlo's house was awesome Norman's been there you can get advice from him and what's do I've been there you can get advice
Starting point is 01:20:32 for me like the musk this shit Lucha Libre so fucking fun Dan would love it I didn't think of that
Starting point is 01:20:39 it's the roots of what he's into yeah it's so fun drink shitty beer well he can't do that you i will yeah and then he can carry me back to the hotel absolutely you're so light it works both ways i'm so tiny put me in pocket there's no more big katy she's gone she's she left that's the nickname you came up with big katy there's another one you could have had it i'm trying to think of like nolan rhymes with bolin bolin ball that's just not there there's something it wasn't coming to me yeah 180 katy what i said 180 katy
Starting point is 01:21:09 180, Katie. You corrected me once when I was doing a Mount Rushmore of weed. Remember that? No. I was doing a weed episode on my old podcast. I said Soder's on the Mount Rushmore of Weed. I said he's on the Mount Weed Shmore. And I was like, nah, it's not where.
Starting point is 01:21:24 And you go Mount Cushmore. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, there it is. There it is. That's not really a skill. You could argue it gets in the way of yours. Bro, Mexico City would be an easy one.
Starting point is 01:21:34 Flight, what? Let's check it. Six, five, eight. Six, you can get here. Ecuador in like six. Keto, capital of Ecuador. Let's do kayak, hold on. Where are we?
Starting point is 01:21:48 Over here. Okay. How long do you think? What are you guessing? How long we would go for? No, no. How long do you think the flight would be? Oh, we'll say, I'll say seven, six.
Starting point is 01:22:01 Big money, big money. Five hours and 20 minutes. That's nothing. 3 p.m. land at 6.20. Be safely in your hotel. 9.40 a.m. be there at one, don't worry about danger, getting in a night. Okay, that's not bad.
Starting point is 01:22:14 304. Nothing. One way. So, 600 probably round trip. And he's got, I mean, Delta, he's got miles. He's got miles. Okay. You could do a show.
Starting point is 01:22:24 If you really wanted, like day one or last day and make the whole thing tax deductible, literally the whole trip. If he does one. If he does one bar show. He didn't have to be a major show. Even though we're documenting us saying. this right now it's still the reason for business okay one bar show 250 on that one that's economy too but like yeah the whole thing that means the whole thing is that viva oh you don't know
Starting point is 01:22:52 we have a new airline i don't know yeah right i don't i've never heard it's like when you see a new car company you're like from where where you're doing new cars now what do you mean you're a new car america okay that one operated by delta maybe viva is just like a mexican and i'm that's why i Operated by Air Mexico. Yeah, maybe. Viva, life. Sure. So how about something like that?
Starting point is 01:23:13 That's not far. That's not that, and it's not bad. And that means you could go for, for, you don't work a regular job. There's Dan. Tuesday, Thursdays, I do a podcast, but I can literally do that from anywhere. It's two of my producers zoom in, so I could zoom in. It's like easily. For, what do you go, an hour and a half, two hours, hour?
Starting point is 01:23:32 Okay, yeah, you could do that from a, find an Airbnb. All I need is like reliable good internet. A lot of these, A lot of these Airbnbs now go list the 100 megamites a second, whatever. As they should. I mean, that's doable. Okay. Possibility, minimum.
Starting point is 01:23:47 So what do we got? Japan. Is there a wrestling season? Or is it happening all the time? Every Thursday. At the arena. It's the one place. They don't ever stop.
Starting point is 01:23:58 It's so much fun. There's kids on shoulders screaming. There's characters that they all know. Crazy. You can get these for like $10 outside. Yeah. The taco scene's nuts. That could be really, that could be really fun.
Starting point is 01:24:12 Yeah, and they have, like, Michelin restaurants for, like, 80 bucks a meal. Really? Yeah. Man. Poohole, I think. Poohole? Yeah. Hold on if we got this right.
Starting point is 01:24:23 It's a tough. Like Albert? I'm going to leave that one there because we may get back to that. Okay. Hold on. Poohole restaurant. I definitely got it wrong, right? I did get it right.
Starting point is 01:24:36 Wow. Whoa. Yeah. reservations ahead of time or waitless but that's just one there's also tons of everything I mean we can't laugh that that's what that means in our
Starting point is 01:24:47 language that we can't laugh at poo hole it's very funny it is and you can it's like you gotta eat at but hole 100% can get some Cuban cigars if you want yeah mota get some mota some weed oh that's how you say weed you write that down
Starting point is 01:25:03 yeah that's the universal it's a sweet uh yeah that could be a cool one or uk or lisbon or like there's a ton or maybe like sweden that's kind of far right it is dan's been to stockholm yeah episode about it still coming hmm okay these are this is more progress than i've made this is more progress now let's do my wedding okay okay yeah and then i'll get over here eventually yeah yeah yeah and then i'll get over here eventually yeah and you want to get back to Australia I want to go visit my friend she came and visited me in New York twice and I haven't been back to visit her because
Starting point is 01:25:43 that flight is a nightmare to me you also can bank episodes you do have oh you can't really with sports it's tougher yeah it's not as easy but also then you could be like it's like you remember when Conan would go to like other cities yeah so like hey I'm reporting on on AFL this week I'm gonna do a hard-hitting report on Aussie football it's just me Hard hitting reports. I mean, you know, whatever. You make fun of it and go.
Starting point is 01:26:09 Yeah. I saw a guy get knocked out during a halftime thing. They were doing like hard catches and they fucking hit his head and they, this ball rolls away. Everyone was like, game's over. Games over.
Starting point is 01:26:20 Like the halftime game's over. But then like, yeah, yeah. So you can do something about Australian sports. Go for state of origin. Okay. There was a, there was a women's world cup over there recently that I really wanted to go to. Yeah, that was going to be my excuse.
Starting point is 01:26:35 But it's a deductible trip also. Yeah, I missed it. For sure. There's, look, there's a lot of places to go, and I will go to them. Yeah, you can work while you're gone. Yeah. You can zoom it. You might have to wake up at the 2 in the morning.
Starting point is 01:26:49 Oh, yeah, the time difference is a pain in the butt. But not if we go to Mexico. No, not if you go to Mexico. That's not crazy. Right? Mm. I mean, there's a bunch of them, but that's like doable. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:27:03 So, but that seems like the same distance to a lot of. also cool but not as foreign not as foreign not as foreign i love london i think it's uh i think it's cool i like the what do you like about it huh what do you like about it what do you mean i don't know i just know that when i went to liverpool to watch a game yeah we flew first into london and we had yeah exactly we had a um we like had to stay in london for like a night or whatever and it was very quick and it was like rainy and cold but something about i just liked walking around i like felt yeah i was like oh this is cool i like it's not like torrential right it just makes you it makes everything cooler in a gray way you feel like a spy in prague yeah i'm just like oh something importance happening and i'm a
Starting point is 01:27:48 part of it yeah i don't know it doesn't make any sense but sometimes just get a vibe with a city and i like london yeah food i don't know maybe not the maybe not the maybe not the greatest no british food They have the best Indian food, the best Turkish food, the best, like... Yeah, they steal the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're great at it. Isn't their national, I think their national food is chicken tequila, which is hilarious. You're like, you are, it's clearly not yours.
Starting point is 01:28:14 It's so clearly not yours. Oh, Allison Roman is rolling over in her fucking grave right now, that ability. I think she's alive. She is. I do you think Allison Roman is alive. They just wrote her off for dead. It's not a stew. It's a curse.
Starting point is 01:28:29 are you bitch I'm like Jesus leave for a low it's just a rest of it can we eat it let's try eating it yeah those are all fun places Lisbon people have been to
Starting point is 01:28:39 they like Norman's been there I've not it's wide open and so now we're gonna get back into the same thing of like oh shit there's too many choices
Starting point is 01:28:46 there's too many choices get a ticket yeah you just gotta get it narrow it down buy a ticket yeah so I like what you're saying start with somewhere that's not crazy to get to
Starting point is 01:28:53 and won't take a lot a lot of time because if you're going all over you're not going for four days right that's retardo right you've got to you have to like Yeah, 10, 12, 14.
Starting point is 01:29:01 So these can be long weekends. And also, well, you go Tuesday, Thursday. I mean, if you go on a Monday, if Dan does a show on a Saturday, or don't. But if you do, Dan doesn't show on a Saturday to make a tax deductible, you report on a fucking soccer match. And then you come back the next Wednesday, if you want, or just any four-day period. You've missed no work. Anyway, I'm more excited now than I was before. You've actually got some legit things.
Starting point is 01:29:30 Yeah. Okay, so this is now planning and the roadblocks to that. Yeah. Which is choose a place, get a ticket, and commit. Which forces you to have a deadline to hit to get the other stuff. Yeah. Reddit for like advice. Yeah. Don't worry about the hotel.
Starting point is 01:29:47 Every hotel's fine. Yeah. Also, any roadblock presents new, like if it's raining horribly in Hawaii, you're like, it'll be like 10 years later. Remember that time it rained all day and we learned how to play cribbage with those with those Germans? Yeah, I like that. You know, like don't plan on or worry too much about what happens once you're there. It's not like, we ruined our trip to, it's like only if you let it.
Starting point is 01:30:10 You have to let it give you a different experience, but you still have to experience it. Yeah. Like they, life doesn't stop in Hawaii when it rains. So what do they do? And then you do that and then you, yeah, I get that. I'm with that. Okay. I'm hitting the check mark I'm planning.
Starting point is 01:30:25 Yeah, I think so. Right? I think so. You've helped me at least hack it a little bit. Predispositions. I forgot what that even was. I don't even know why you wrote that. I didn't tell you write that.
Starting point is 01:30:35 You didn't tell me right. It feels like you wrote that on your own. What about money? You definitely need some. How do you, do you wait until you get to the airport? You do it at the exchange thing at the airport. This is good for advice. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:52 Hey, guys, when you're writing the advice book, maybe put this in. Advice. I'm doing a travel. I ask everybody for traveling. advice at the end and we're going to do a coffee table book great I get some of the airport before you leave or the airport when you arrive or when you arrive before you get out those doors with the cab drivers are coming at you and you're so overwhelmed I think I'm a lot like you yeah I think I'm a lot like you with this stuff and I'm like oh no I don't want to it's too
Starting point is 01:31:16 yeah and I'm afraid so you research how much should a cab into Centro cost yeah and so when they hit you with like it's 300 it's 30 not 600 but if they go it's 34 go that's about what they said yeah sure let's take that always say how much will it be before you get in the cab yeah or before you start going so they have to stick to it very smart so they don't hit you with something crazy once you get there and it's too late to negotiate but i get like a day's worth of money before those doors open at the airport so either in new york or there just take out but also last time went to australia i didn't touch a single bill really it was tap and go tap and almost everything is that now Huh.
Starting point is 01:31:55 But I still want to have some cash in case there's a taco stand. And they go, we do have some. When you tap to pay, and it asks if you want to pay in your countries or the, I feel like it does, but I don't know which one's the right answer. I don't know either. I do not know the right answer. Somebody does. I'll Google it. There's an exchange.
Starting point is 01:32:14 And I'm like, do I exchange before? Right. Do I exchange after? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, Google it for fun. I'll Google it for fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:20 Just to see. Be your best Jewish shelf. Get the answers to these questions. Okay. I can do that. But just for a small anecdote when Dan and I went to... It's the type of thing for small anecdotes. A traveling one, too.
Starting point is 01:32:32 Oh. You couldn't have picked a better place for this anecdote, maybe? I went to... My parents have a timeshare somewhere in Mexico. Yeah. And we went down for one of those aforementioned vacations where you just, like, sit by the pool and drink apple soda, which I cannot believe America, we don't really do.
Starting point is 01:32:49 Apple soda. Apple soda is so good. Where was this? Underrated good. It was just in... Mexico. And I think you can get it here. But my point being, it's not like our sun kissed. You know, it's like a not popular. And it's crazy because it's so tasty. But anyway, we got off the flight and we were walking through the airport. And I had booked us a shuttle to go straight
Starting point is 01:33:09 from, pick us up at the airport with our names and take us directly to the resort. Just to bypass any of the questions. Yeah, sure. Some guy comes up to Dan in the airport. A traveling man, Dan does travel. He doesn't, maybe not internationally a ton, but he travels constantly. Every week. And a guy comes up to us in the airport and said, taxi? And Dan's like, yes, we would like a taxi. And I looked at him and was like, huh? No, we don't. First of all, I booked it.
Starting point is 01:33:33 And you know that. Second of all, when have you ever been and gone? Someone goes, when someone comes up to you at the airport, definitely take. You come to JFK every time when they say taxi. Like, beat it. They're not driving a taxi. It's like, how are you? And it's a bit overwhelming.
Starting point is 01:33:48 So if you can book a taxi to your hotel or something, now you put your stuff down. They're like, let's breathe for a second. Let's go down to the lobby. Everybody pee, do what you got to do. I'm not overwhelmed. My stuff is down. And then you can ask the concierge, like, is it safe around here? And they'll tell you yes or no.
Starting point is 01:34:04 It's almost always yes. And then like, all right, let's go for a walk. And then we'll figure out something later. But I'm in the same way. I need slow. I don't like to land at night where I feel more danger. But by day two, the danger feels gone. Yeah, I think I'm the same way once I'm in somewhere.
Starting point is 01:34:19 I'm so excited for you now. I also just realized. I have to renew my passport. It's about to go, and the problem is it's about to go, and I don't have a real ID and New Jersey, which is where my license is. So it's where I need to get it renewed. I know, and it's fully booked. I can't make an appointment for one anywhere.
Starting point is 01:34:38 I'm like trying, and I can't. And if I get my real ID, then I won't have an ID for when I need to renew my passport. And if I renew my passport, I won't have my passport able to get my real ID. I'm like, really fucked. And I've just been putting this off. What, you need a real ID to get a passport? I think I need to show my passport to confer. Like one of the ways to get a real ID is like you can show your passport, you can show a bill, you can show a whatever.
Starting point is 01:35:01 So I'm going to have to, they're, them coming up at the same time is a, is not good. That's one where you should like, kind of tonight, just apply for a passport. No, okay, Ari, next thing. Sticking out as like a tourist traveler. I took a trip with my parents to Italy when I was in high school. The year that the Red Sox won the World Series, I actually. was in Italy for the Sox Yankees series. That was the greatest moment of any baseball fan's life.
Starting point is 01:35:30 I didn't watch any of it live. It is the biggest regret of life. No, Mariano came in. It was 3-1. I think that was... How it ended? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. That's the last of my memory.
Starting point is 01:35:41 Mariano came and it was over. Yeah. Well, at least you have a memory of it because mine are all just from the documentaries about it and re-watching it when I got home. My parents were like, my dad's like, ah, they're down three. They're never going to come back.
Starting point is 01:35:53 You don't have to watch a... Even if they come back, we still got to win two more games. But I went with my parents, and my dad, the whole trip, was the stereotypical backpack, the high socks with the... It's tied around him. He still got something taken from him. He, like, tried to do all the little tricks of, like, where are your passport and blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 01:36:15 And somebody still knifed one of his... They snifed the bag of one of his, and let them. Let them. Kudos. You did that much work. How did you not feel that? A man took a knife to your backpack. But he every time-
Starting point is 01:36:29 Mosquito's here out of control. Every time I look at like a picture of him from that trip, I'm like, he's my dad and I love him. I'm like, oh, my dad, but I'm also like, my God, we are the like. Yeah. You know. Katie, we're exactly the same.
Starting point is 01:36:41 I feel this legitimately it bothers me to be the one who sticks out. Yeah. Two stories for you. Okay. One, I asked H. Foley, you know him? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:36:51 Shout out. Shout out H Foley. he went to Paris and I was going so I asked for a couple restaurant tips or whatever and I'm like did you learn French
Starting point is 01:36:59 no zero I'm like weren't you worried about being the loud American you know the guy like he goes no I didn't even think twice
Starting point is 01:37:07 about that I was like Garsohn I'll have one more of these this is amazing he felt no shame yeah didn't even think he should have and he had a blast
Starting point is 01:37:14 they said everyone treated him great because he's so cuddly yeah and they tuned into it and he was having a blast and that probably is also my dad.
Starting point is 01:37:23 My dad probably had the best trip of his life. He's on all the videos just narrating, here we are down at St. Mark Square. You're like, oh, he's having the time of life. He doesn't care what they think at all. My friend Derek, I was in Myanmar, and he was afraid he wanted to take photographs, and he was afraid of sticking out.
Starting point is 01:37:43 Napierda. Does that sound right? That's what I think is the capital of Myanmar. I don't know how to say it out loud, but it's spelled like Napierda. Damn, your computer shut off on us. That's how long we've been talking. I know, I've got to get out of this studio
Starting point is 01:37:57 because it's, everything's breaking. Like, legitimately, everything's breaking. I don't have it here, damn. I thought I had his picture he took. So he loved taking photographs. And he was afraid of sticking out as a tourist if he had this big, you know, with the long lens cameras.
Starting point is 01:38:13 And he goes, I'm going to stick out of and he's going to see him on tourists. And his buddy goes, you're a six foot two white guy. Do you think the camera's what's giving you away? That's so true. And that's damn. In Burma. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:24 So just like, it's okay, you're a tourist. They have tourists. You are what you are. Yeah. You're not actually ruining anything. You're a tourist. You're not embedded. You're not breaking into some place.
Starting point is 01:38:32 They're like, yeah, we have restaurants for them and hotels for tourists. And that's helpful for our economy when you are a tourist. Yeah, yeah. So like, just be the tourist. But don't get a propeller hat, you know, you know. Unless it's speaking to you. Unless that's what you, unless that's what their local culture is into. I struggle with the same thing, but it's dumb.
Starting point is 01:38:51 the meaning of the word struggle because I feel like you do you just power through it you've done a lot quite a bit of traveling yeah I clearly struggle with it it is oh right you know I think you feel it I feel it I don't think you struggle with it yeah I when I got to Paris I literally didn't open my mouth for two days I got so hungry because I was like I'm afraid of looking like an American yeah and so I couldn't be like you know whatever I learned and they're going to see through it and I was like And I got so hot. I was like, well, I got to get the Airbnb left me like some cheese. And once you ate through it, you're like, now I have to.
Starting point is 01:39:28 Yeah. Yeah. And it just wasn't a problem. Yeah. And if it was awkward, it was awkward for 30 seconds and you got past it and you lived your life. Katie, I think you're in a way better place now to go do this. Can I be honest? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:42 I think I am too. It's still possible. I go home and don't do anything about it. But I feel a lot more like I'm going to do something. about it than I did before I got here. And isn't that sort of the whole point of you be tripping? Don't I be tripping? Go get high with your buddy, with your man.
Starting point is 01:40:01 My buddy is brutal. I'm going to tell him that you called him that. And I'll deny it. There's no record of it. Go get high with your pal that you live with. And as you get high, go, let's talk about a place. Yeah. The close ones I would say, unless it's Japan, and go, let's just pick a date right now.
Starting point is 01:40:19 and then just go like let's get a ticket right now too today yeah why not should I maybe the only why not is my passport I think I should do my passport first this is going to be six eight months out from now right I hope so I mean you're not going right you got to clear the schedule so it's not that yeah okay so six months out from now okay you'll have your passport in a month I also think he's starting a tour soon so okay so like let's see your schedule what's your tour over yeah two weeks after that that let's let's three weeks after that I'm well what if I'm still tired great a month and a half after that let's just pick a date it doesn't really matter stop yelling at me yeah so screaming
Starting point is 01:41:00 at me are I'm trying my best okay I'm very scared okay so then this is what I usually tell people at the end of these episodes which is two questions we ask if you have travel advice or tips of any kind I get a get a get a hotel that overlooks the Apple Tower I mean do it do it One time, one time, if you've come into money in a way that you have it, I know everybody's situation is different. I was very lucky. I had money. I never spend my money.
Starting point is 01:41:28 I spent it on myself. But like, treat yourself in whatever that means to you, I would absolutely do that. But I would write, I would, you should journal, don't make journaling feel like it has to be that you've got to write some profound thought. Just literally jot down what you did that day and like the times that brought you the most joy. So that in moments like this, when you go, I really don't remember. my trip. You have a document of like, oh, that's right. That first day, they lost our bags. And so we had to go eat at that cafe. And while we were there, we had, we tried our, for the very first time, this type of bread that I had never heard of. Yeah. And then you, yeah, that way you know what you did. And you can reflect on the trip. I always build it up on my mind like I'm going to write. I don't, I'm not feeling creative. It's like nobody gives a shit. Just right, literally write down what you did today. Yeah, that they call it, um, bed to bed to breakfast or breakfast to bed journaling. Yeah, I've never heard of that. But you're not trying to like, uh, uh, Get anything profound down you're just documenting the day and then if I have to if I have a story about somewhere and I go back and look
Starting point is 01:42:24 I'm like oh wait that guy. I forget that guy was even there. Yeah or like oh yeah we did go to that one restaurant Right. Oh yeah that's it. It just brings it all back because you wrote it down and it's 10 minutes every morning and I've not done it a lot more than I've done it It sucks when I leave the trip and I go why didn't I take the time? Yeah, and I keep going oh, I'll remember You always tell yourself this lie. It's like when you it's like when you have a dream and you wake up with the instinct to jot it down and you go, I'll remember. I'll remember. And then the next day, you're like, I'm not, I don't remember. You have to, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:42:58 So I don't know why we don't. What are you doing with that? Journal. We're going to open them up. Are they from Australia or did you buy them here? Because they're not as good if they're from here. I got to be honest. I hate to be the, the book is better than the movie.
Starting point is 01:43:09 Okay. Yeah. 12, 12, 20, 24. No, I was there. 2024. These are expired from two years, three, a year ago? What year is it? expired. I don't hold that against her.
Starting point is 01:43:20 Damn. That's pretty fucked up. Have you ever gone a Tim Tam slam? Are you familiar with that? Is it? Oh, I'll bring you back. This is going to fucking, I might relapse. Oh.
Starting point is 01:43:35 This is the last podcast I'm doing in the studio. Oh my God. Yeah. That's why I didn't say no. That's why I was like, we'll figure it out. We'll talk about something. Because I was like, this is like a chapter in Ari's life. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:47 I'm sad to leave it, but. I've ever done a. a tim-tam slammed do you know what that is yeah okay never mind though tell them tell them you bite both ends of the tim-tam and then you put it in your coffee and you basically use it as a straw and it like melts the cookie in a way that's just like unbelievable what is this and you get caught with the chocolate flavor come in so good yeah uh-huh um i thought don't mess with the zozozozozo ron sohan zohan because now i'm thinking of zohron yeah don't mess with the zohan in australia that was You saw it there.
Starting point is 01:44:19 Yep, I went and saw that movie in a theater. You know what's cool? When you do something like that, see a movie somewhere, you will always associate that place with that movie. Even though they have nothing to do with each other. Sex and the City movie, too, I think. You saw there? Were those around the same time?
Starting point is 01:44:35 I saw Groundhog Day in Israel, but they didn't have Groundhog Day, the actual day. Oh, yeah, so what do they call it? I'll see you again tomorrow. Oh, my God, that's so funny. And tomorrow again. It was something like that. The other question is like, where? do you want to go what's calling you i feel like we kind of got to it but what would you settle on
Starting point is 01:44:52 of like japan seems high i also like i really i've always wanted to go to greece oh yeah i love the mediterranean i've been to italy um i've been to israel i've not been to greece i feel like i would i'd like to go there i also feel like uh that place is like if you don't watch out it's like tourist trap central okay where you're you're You're like spending all this money to wait in a line to eat a meal that you're like, this is silly. Yeah. I felt the same way.
Starting point is 01:45:25 We're like Katrin. Yeah. Crazy. But I found out that we have something that most people don't have. A legitimate high-level Greek expert that will give us advice. Stavros.
Starting point is 01:45:36 That's absolutely true. Was my tour guide? Yeah. Everything I needed to do. Does he hate doing that or is that easy for him? Yeah. Because he was like, I can't believe I can share this about different island.
Starting point is 01:45:44 The less known, what are you looking for? Oh, well, then don't do that. do this. That's so true. Mm-hmm. Huh. Yeah, who's so helpful. I had Ian Laura for Dominican Republic
Starting point is 01:45:55 and I had style for Greece. And it was like, I couldn't have done it without either of them. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. But yeah, I feel like a European something I've meant to do, you know? Maybe like Germany,
Starting point is 01:46:09 a Switzerland, something. You know, I don't feel myself pulled to like Moldova, but I don't know what it's like there. I'm sure you'll find. find out something. I went to, so when I do European tours, I gotta like Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Starting point is 01:46:22 So I gotta sandwich one day where I can't do anything. And then, so Sunday to Thursday, I'm open. I can go, I can stay in that town or I can go early in the next town. Oh, that's smart, I like that. But one city has to get sandwiched, which means I'm there for, I get there that morning, leave the next morning.
Starting point is 01:46:37 And so it's gotta, like Brussels I've heard, there's no point, it's fine for a show, but you don't wanna be there. Right. So, so fine, I sandwiched Lubliano Slovenia this last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I've never known how to say that out loud.
Starting point is 01:46:50 Yeah. Until you just said it. Capital of Slovenia. It's much prettier than El Jebeljana, but that's how I say it in my head. But I was like, oh, this place rules. I did not expect this at all. And I got to come back here for a week. That's cool.
Starting point is 01:47:05 That is really cool. Yeah. Like I feel like Croatia probably has stuff like that too. You're like, damn, this is. There's an island in Croatia that I went. My doctor told me about it. And I had to go after Edinburgh. I worked so hard.
Starting point is 01:47:15 What kind of a doctor? Regular? Like a regular. dog yeah fucking dicks and shit yeah um and i was so frazzled after edinburgh that i was like hey where's that place you told me some island that i won't mention that was just sunbathe yeah jump in the adriatic or whatever and then just air dry off and just like and then you get old all of a sudden really quickly you're on old beach yeah it was so nice and then i don't know what the mainland's like but like yeah everything's pretty awesome everything is pretty awesome and
Starting point is 01:47:44 simultaneously everything kind of sucks yeah you could also do a tour or he could do a tour and you meet up on the last stop and then stay for eight days after. Look at that. Now you're doing career planning and the travel. I get the thing of like I'm wasting my time if I go straight vacation so you can couple it with work. Sure. And that also helps get him out of the you guys every now and then you need to do stand up or else you spiral in a way that's I learned during the pandemic where you come in and just start running bits and doing voices. And I was like, hello, I'm reading a book.
Starting point is 01:48:15 Could you have said hello? I'm coming into the room. Could you have asked for my, he'll just start, go. But that's what, that's the engine. You guys have to, you have to train it because that's the thing that stops people that are like, could have thought about doing stand-up. The thing that stopped me was like, oh, I'd have to do it all the time consistently. And you guys have to train your motor to do that.
Starting point is 01:48:35 So I get it. I'm forgiving of it. But we can acknowledge it exists. You can probably do pretty well. What? If you tried it. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 01:48:46 It would be so embarrassing for it. down. It would be embarrassing for everyone involved. It would be... Are your chicks doing stand-up now? And you're like, Durham her. That is the way. That is the way. I told you to do this in another city. That is. It never. I won't. I don't have the regularity. If it's up to me to go to work, I won't. She's actually really funny. She's actually doing
Starting point is 01:49:03 really well. Like, oh, okay. It'd be so fun. The train passed. The train has passed. I've done it twice. I'll never do. I don't think I'd ever do it. But you could go cover the fucking wheel thing. You know the cheese wheel chasing thing? They were all running down that fucking hill chasing a cheese wheel. Where's that?
Starting point is 01:49:20 I don't know. Maybe England. Oh. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. And they all fucking fall and where is the cheese wheel? Wouldn't that be like, that feels Dutch? It does, right?
Starting point is 01:49:29 It doesn't feel like an English thing. I don't know where the cheese wheel is. I like the way. I did not think this was how you planned vacations. I thought you like knew the world and what you do is like, I want to cross the street where everybody crosses the street. I want to do the cheese wheel thing. I want to sit and smoke cigarettes at a cafe.
Starting point is 01:49:46 Maybe we'll go to Scotland. for the Highland Games or whatever those are. That could be fun. Cooper's Hill, cheese rolling, and wake. Someone dies? Oh, yeah. Oh. They fly and they're gluck.
Starting point is 01:49:58 Gloucester. Gloucester. Well, that's how you say the Massachusetts version. Yeah, probably. I don't know if that's what I call it there. Gloucester. Gloucester. There's good beaches in Gloucester.
Starting point is 01:50:06 Yeah. Wait. Let's see this. How far is this from do you think London? I mean, it's not possible for it to be so far. It's not worth it. It's Gloucester, U.K. Up at the, well, that's different.
Starting point is 01:50:21 That's Gloucester Shear. That's not it? No, it was the first thing that you scrolled past. Glouc, just get rid of the shear. Gloucester, UK. See, the second thing down? Yeah. All right with the attitude.
Starting point is 01:50:32 It's right next to it, funny enough, but it might not have been, you know? It could have been. Maybe it's on the other side. Abby Mead, Abbydale, Mattson. Just 37-hour walk. Or if you drive it, you can drive it. You can drive it in 226. That's nothing.
Starting point is 01:50:47 That's a train, too. I'm sure they have a train. So, yeah, go cover that for your job. Sure. Funny sports. Yeah, and then, I don't know, make an excuse for that. Legitimately excited for you. Smash cut to two years from now when you're like, and you haven't gone anywhere?
Starting point is 01:51:00 You haven't visited me in this foreign prison once? You can at least come visit. Do you ever, have you ever been to a foreign prison? It's too late to ask you this in the podcast. Yeah, no, I've never been arrested in a foreign land. Good. That sounds scary to me. Yeah, I've been ticketed
Starting point is 01:51:18 And what do you do with that? You have to pay it? You're never back. I got shaken down in Thailand. I should just pay the shakedown instead it was like six hours at City Hall to get my license back for it's to save a hundred bot. It's to save $3. And you just didn't want to pay it. I was like, I'm not getting shaken down, no way.
Starting point is 01:51:33 This is a fucking bribe. Yeah, we're like, it is a bribe and the guy's like, you really should just give me the $500. Right. And I'm like, oh, I know what you're doing. It's like a ticket master fee. You're like, I don't love this, but I'll just pay it. It's the way things go. I hate that so much.
Starting point is 01:51:45 much. Wait, what do you mean $130? The tickets are 40 each. What do you mean 130? Some states are doing laws where it's like they have to show you up front all of the money. You're going to be better? Not let them charge you 40% on top. On a resale, then you resell your ticket. Okay, I have two tickets and 50. It's $100. I got to resell these. Okay, you're only getting 80 and the other person's paying $120. What? Yeah. I know. Or also like, hey, I'm doing pre-sale because I'm a huge fan of this artist. But people that are huge fans of this artist all did pre-sale and then there's nobody left to buy the other tickets and so those tickets are cheaper and better and you're like wait but I'm the biggest
Starting point is 01:52:20 but I love you most and they don't stop scalpers for that much money it's all broken are I feel like everything's breaking I talked to a guy who owned a hockey team just randomly okay was in a room like an NHL okay and I was like hey how do you feel about ticket master because it's really I really hated it both as a fan and as a someone who sells off ticket master he said we are actively looking for other options. Damn. Hard every day. The problem is the number two
Starting point is 01:52:47 is just so unprofessional that we just can't rely on them. But trust me, I know exactly we were saying and it's nonstop looking for other options. Yeah, so fuck you, ticket master. It's on site is what I think we're saying. Katie, thank you. Everybody, once again, go listen to our podcast.
Starting point is 01:53:03 Benjamin Bros. Hold on, I got it. Casuals with Katie Nolan and. And what? Just you? That's it. Just me. We had Sagalow on.
Starting point is 01:53:13 Today. Sagalo is our guest today. But this is going to be probably not coming out today. So what does that have to do with anything? My listeners try to do clues on when things were recorded. Oh, now we know. Just by references. Once Kevin Ryan was like, yeah, I just bought a car.
Starting point is 01:53:26 Like, just bought a, wait, this is your second. I remember when you said you bought a car on your other pie. That was over a year ago. Crazy. Yeah. Well, now I gave him a big. I pulled the curtain back on. Go back to that Sagalo episode.
Starting point is 01:53:36 That's the day that this was recorded. Yeah. All right. Cool. I feel, this is, thank you for doing this. This is a fun one. This was good. I got a title of something, but this was a fun as hell.
Starting point is 01:53:46 You'll come up with it. Yeah. This actually helped me, like, think things out too. Oh, good. Yeah, for real. Hell yeah. All right. Sick.
Starting point is 01:53:53 Bye, everybody. Bye, studio. All right, well, that's the episode. Hope you guys enjoy it. I hope you guys. I hope you got it out some matter of that. Now, thank you, Katie Nolan for coming in. I am out trying to get a glimpse for two days of this.
Starting point is 01:54:11 I think it's just peeking out right now. tiny del Torre I think it is hold on I'll give you a quick look the peaks it's been hiding in the clouds for literally two days and I think it's just coming out to play right now just for like a minute it's gonna dump back into the clouds and then there's more peaks over there but those I can't really see that's about as good a glimpse as I can get there's a 10-hour hike that I might do tomorrow, but probably not. It doesn't seem like my style. 10 hours. It actually does seem like my style, doesn't it? Okay. Anyway, thank you, Katie Nolan for coming in. And now here is what I wanted to tell you. I want to give you these tips
Starting point is 01:55:04 for yourself, for how to do travel yourself. Because I know I was talking to a independent contractor, as it were that's what i do that's what she does uh creative i don't know whatever you're called but somebody doesn't really work for anybody so i understand that our jobs are not are not going to be like like your jobs i got to get a look at this i'm sorry god damn i mean can you see this whole fucking field hold on look at this the scenery out here is just wild with all that in the backdrop and then like oh my god
Starting point is 01:55:46 I can't even express to you uh anyway thank you Katie Nolan for coming in you can check out her on Instagram at Nolan Katie if you have any ideas of where she should travel reach out to her
Starting point is 01:56:03 let her know uh the casuals pod every Tuesday and Thursday and uh What is it? Fan service live. 12 p.m. at Mad Dog Talk Radio. Only on Sirius XM.
Starting point is 01:56:16 12 p.m. every day. Every day. That's a fucking tough schedule. Okay, that is going to make it tough for you to travel. So now here, I realized I was talking to some creative and someone who has a time off to be able to go anywhere they want. And I know that everybody has that. So I'm not, it's, I want to do some tips for you guys who have regular 9 to 5ers, or maybe not as free as Katie is to be able to like do your own travel and uh here's how to do it
Starting point is 01:56:46 just here's some tips first of all i put a link at the bottom of the screen allan please put it up there for the passport agency to make a reservation to get your own passport um yeah get it get it before you go because that's going to get in the way that's one of the number one things that's going to get in the way is not having a passport um um So follow the link at the bottom. Just make an appointment. Just if you can't make it, there's no harm done. But just get that process started because here's what's going to help you go.
Starting point is 01:57:19 I'm going to give you a bunch of tips right now. One, how do I do this? Where I'm holding this and also, this is the problem with DIY. How am I going to get over this fucking bog? Okay. By the way, I have to take a dump. I'm out in the woods. And if I find a good dump spot, I'm going to take a break.
Starting point is 01:57:47 Ooh, a lot of poop out here. And I'll come back in a second. You got, okay, tip one, plan your holiday. Well, tip one is get your passport. Tip two. Plan your holidays wisely. I was talking to, I don't want to say her name because I don't know she hasn't talk to her parents about this yet, but, guys, Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 01:58:06 What are we doing anymore? If you lived your life right And I mean Fucking branch If you lived your life right And I mean the way you'd do it in the 50s Or 60s When these traditions are started
Starting point is 01:58:18 In the 40s You'd have your own family by now If you're 26 You'd have a three-year-old child And you'd be Giving him or her I guess just him If you're in China
Starting point is 01:58:33 Their own Thanksgiving tradition Their own memories and you wouldn't be going home anymore. You'd be doing your own thing. So you don't have to still go home. You're doing Christmas. It's enough. I get it.
Starting point is 01:58:44 If you have a family, it's like, oh, I can't. By the way, guys, all these tips, I'm going to give, I'll tell you this in a second of how you can really take these in. Thanksgiving is a fucking eight-day holiday for you with three days of sick leave. You got to use your sick days. I'm sorry, your vacation days wisely. You take off Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Thursday, Friday's already off. So that means you get.
Starting point is 01:59:07 You leave Friday at work after work, you know, you go, I'm leaving at 4 p.m. 5 p.m. Friday before Thanksgiving. You go right to the airport. You land in some place Saturday morning or late Friday night. Yeah, they're gone. They're already gone. Damn, it just disappears so fast. Then you have Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday for Thanksgiving. And by the way, if you like Thanksgiving, do it wherever you're at. Mexico City, I've gone there. I did that two years in a row.
Starting point is 01:59:48 I went to Merida one year. They don't do Thanksgiving, but you can. Go get turkey somewhere. Go be with your friends. Have your friends come with you to a Friendsgiving out and fucking Wahawk or some shit. Oh, geez, that's fucking wild. Let me. Anyway, you get eight days for three.
Starting point is 02:00:12 That means Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Come home Sunday. That brings me to tip two. Come back on the red-eye Sundays. You won't be fit to work that day. I'm telling you, you just won't. There's no way.
Starting point is 02:00:33 But don't schedule a meeting. So, like, what if I have a meeting? Don't schedule a meeting on Monday. after a vacation's coming. Reschedule everything for later. Just go, hey, I'm not going to be available. Let's do Tuesday or Wednesday. And just be fucking really a bad employee on that Monday.
Starting point is 02:00:50 And come home on the ready, you get in 6, 7 a.m. If you're delayed, you let your boss know ahead of time. To be due responsibly. You know, and then you can go. So that's eight days or nine days for only three days of a vacation. By the way, sick days, take those. Take those for fucking mental health.
Starting point is 02:01:11 That's what sick days are. Americans' ideas of like, you can never take a sick day if you're not actually fucking bedridden. No, if you've got to go breathe some air, go, it's peeking out again, go fucking be in nature with your dog so for your mental health
Starting point is 02:01:26 so you don't go fucking nuts and shoot up the place. That's a sick day. That's a valid sick day. That's number two. Your sick days, use them wisely. Can you see this behind me? By the way, guys, let me break it real quick.
Starting point is 02:01:40 All this advice is only going to be good if you want to take it. If you're looking for a reason why you shouldn't do any of this, you're going to find it. For sure. But I'm just, I don't know, I'm trying to help you. There's always going to be reasons why you can't travel. And if you look for them, you will find them. Always. Always.
Starting point is 02:02:00 So I get back to it. But keep in mind for any of this advice, like how can I make this work for me? And then it'll help you. Okay, back to the advice. Tip number three, before accepting a new job offer, let them know, they give you the offer, let them know you're planning on a big vacation. Now, you haven't planned it yet, but now is the time. The worst they're going to do is tell you no.
Starting point is 02:02:23 That's the worst they're going to do is say, no, no, no, we need you to start right away. But no harm in asking. So let's say you have a new, I got a job and you're like, okay, you've got to give you two weeks to your old job. And they go, great, let's say it's February 1st. Now, they go, we want you to start February 14th or 15th. And you go, actually, I have this trip planned. Would you mind if I started March 9th? And generally, they're so happy the, and before you've taken the job, you haven't taken
Starting point is 02:02:51 the job offer yet. And they're so happy to found the right candidate that go, yeah, yeah, sure, that's totally fine. If they say, no, no, we need you. That's a big time for us. It's okay. No big deal. I'll push that off till later.
Starting point is 02:03:02 But ask. and then generally they'll give it to you and then you could take your fucking a three four week holiday and go anywhere you want um tip four or five rent out your apartment you're traveling for free if you rent out your apartment if money's an issue you're traveling free if you rent out your apartment also if you do any work while you're gone that's tax deductible that's it that's from that's from a Jew tax deductible if you do any work but try not to do any work because you want to be out you want to be out you want to be able like seize the day guys you can either be the guernaco or you can be the fucking puma and i'm telling you
Starting point is 02:03:44 i know i have a reputation of like of getting out there and doing wild stuff you know and being the guy who travels i'm generally the guernaco i'm generally going to some city i don't really want to go to do stand-up comedy something i love but that's only for one to two hours a day you know maybe an hour 20 each show so two hours and 40 minutes i'm doing something i really love and that means 21 and a half hours 21 hours and 20 minutes i'm stuck in fucking kansas city or you know some place kansas is actually pretty cool great jazz club there um but i'm generally the guanaco i'm generally the guy who's just fucking you know a fucking you know a fucking bone for a puma but sometimes today I'm the fucking puma and it feels great don't you want
Starting point is 02:04:40 to be the puma I bet you do you don't want to be the guernaco or the fucking I guess that's is that a horse is that a fucking horse head behind me on a pike I'd say unsettling I'd say unsettling. And guys, you can find stuff like this too. If you're willing to take those fucking eight days for three. What else? What's our next thing? SkyScanter. SkyScanter.com shows direct flights from anywhere. So if you go to your local airport and go, there's a whole fucking rib cage over there. Let's go. If you go to your local airport and put in SkyScanor, let's go to SkyScanor, put in your local airport, you'll see anywhere there's a direct flight. And I've done this. That's why I got the Dominican Republic. I had days off.
Starting point is 02:05:28 in what the fuck is this oh i mean what they fucking fuck bro whole ribca is that his fucking is that is like torso there's bones everywhere i mean it was dragged here did you see uh He said, oh, hoof! Oh! Literally just got scared. Fucking full hoof. Oh, you ever see the inside of a hoof? God, they leave nothing.
Starting point is 02:06:10 It's between that and the buzzards. They leave fucking nothing. Oh, there's still fucking meat on that one. Wow. Oh, I got to talk to them. I'm like, God damn. Okay. Pretty unsettling.
Starting point is 02:06:33 Yeah, sometimes I get really scared of Puma's out here. One day, I was in my camper, and in the morning there was fucking a poop that wasn't there before. And I'm like, oh, maybe it's just like a Guadaco, but it had fur in it. So that's usually a sign. God, you know how scary it is to go fucking take a poop when you know a Puma might be stalking you? You ever get stalked, bro? I mean, but who put this up? I mean, there's no way that Puma put it up on a fucking pike.
Starting point is 02:06:58 Right? No way. God, look at that thing. It took down a fucking horse. That's somebody's fucking animal. Took down a fucking horse. Anyway, all right, back to the episode. Sorry.
Starting point is 02:07:11 But isn't this fun? Don't you want to do these things? Don't you want to have experiences yet? I didn't come here to look for fucking horse heads. Okay, SkyScanter shows drug flight. So I did it to Dominican Republic. Like I looked, I had a 10 or 12 days off in between a show in Boston and a show in, I think, San Antonio. So I go, where could I get direct from Boston Logan Airport?
Starting point is 02:07:34 And it gave me a bunch of cities. And then it goes, where can I get from those cities to San Antonio or Austin or Dallas? And it gave me nothing. But on a layover, I could get from to Dominican Republic, straight from Boston, to Dominican Republic, DR, and then on a layover, I got to San Antonio and I went straight there. So I was able to, no, no, Dallas, I know what it was, Dallas to Boston. Yeah, because I said goodbye to Greg Fitzsimmons. He was in Fort Worth at the same time.
Starting point is 02:08:08 I was at the bad club. He was at the good one. We hung out and he dropped me off at the airport. After we went to Dallas County. I hope we can. I remember that. Um, sky scanner is your friend. Another tip. I don't know what number we're up to. Alan, put these in. Sorry, I'm giving you more work before, right before the holidays. Telling your friends that you're going. Tell them before you even go. It, it holds you to it. If you tell your friends you're going, you're stuck, because then you have to explain why
Starting point is 02:08:41 you didn't go. So it does two things. One, it commits you. And two, um, ideas will come of what to do when you're out there. God damn, this fucking rain is not the best. But check this shit out. This river when it's I got my camper way over there.
Starting point is 02:09:03 And if you can see it. I'm in the middle of nowhere. Wild camping. I've never done it before. It's for a wild. Shit presents itself once you're out there. I've been going on Rex. So Rex, I'll help you.
Starting point is 02:09:14 So tell your friends you're going and they'll be like, oh, my friend went there. He said he went to this great restaurant. oh okay what was it my friend went there he said he did wild camping where you could just find campsites and just hole up what i want to do that and then you do um another tip don't look at too many picks just decide what you want to do if you look at the picks nothing's going to live up to it because the picks aren't listen the pick of that mountain of torres del piney are beautiful they don't show the cloudy pictures and if i had seen them and i have you look
Starting point is 02:09:47 at it, you're like, oh, that's not as good. But I didn't look at too many, so when I see it, they're like, oh, finally saw. I mean, there are two days I spent trying to fucking get a sight of this thing. Oh, fuck. I mean, this isn't great. It's not great at all. Maybe I'll go take a poop now. Don't look at too many picks.
Starting point is 02:10:03 It'll ruin it for you. You can still have an amazing. I found a hot spring, and it was cloudy, but I didn't know anything about it. I thought it was just a regular little hot spring. But it wasn't. It was this amazing thing on a fjord. And you're looking out, and it's tremendously hot. If I looked at Picks on a beautiful day, I'd be disappointed.
Starting point is 02:10:22 But I didn't look at any, I didn't know what to expect. And so it just blew me away. On the highway, there's a highway down here and how to go. Look at this. Look at my campers. So like, nothing is around me, bro. Absolutely nothing. And then boom, camper.
Starting point is 02:10:46 Right on the fucking. water. You can't see it now, but back there's a snow cat mountain. There's a snow cat mountain. There's a snow cat mountain. And then behind me, which we can never get a view of. I mean, I guess we got a little view earlier. Tories don't pine me. Uh, don't look to follow Rex. Recommendations. What number we're up to, Alan? Follow recommendations over any AI or blogs. You know what you like and your friends know what you like. And if somebody tells you like, oh my god you got to go to this beautiful nice restaurant like tim dillon would um in this place you go yeah i'm not interested in that i don't want to do that i want to get street food
Starting point is 02:11:27 so you don't get people who aren't doing your thing telling you what to do like you would on google maps uh the people weighing in on google maps are just some of people who share your ideas and some who don't but if somebody says oh my god i had this most amazing meal where it was just this family and they cook for you and it says fucking If you're communal and they bring people from all over the world and everyone has to talk and that might be your thing. But if it is your thing, you go, wait, tell me more. I'm interested in that.
Starting point is 02:11:54 And then they tell you more. Recommendations over AI. AI is going to ruin life. Not for that stuff, but only because it's giving you a version of it that's for everybody. And you're not everybody. You have your specific deals. Here's another tip. If you've got a partner, a wife or a husband, be willing to travel without them.
Starting point is 02:12:17 I know it might be hard, but you can play golf without him, right? So why not be able to travel without him? Why not be able to say, I mean, I remember Leanne Kreischer going to Vietnam with her friends? She wasn't going to wait anymore for fucking fatso to be able to take time off, and she just went with their friends. I know another people that have been able to, I mean, look at this, dude. Tell me that location isn't just the best location in the fucking world. I've been here for two days, doing fuck all. I've done other people who do it too
Starting point is 02:12:47 I've had girlfriends I've said hey I'm leaving for three weeks and they go what do you mean I'm like I'm leaving they're like well I want to go I'm like yeah well you have work don't you I'm like all right well goodbye and sometimes they're willing to come and sometimes they're not but don't wait for them
Starting point is 02:13:01 do something with your friends do something alone have whatever reason you want to go out and go alone have a reason have one thing to do in a town I know these two chicks from Austin who used to go do tour tourism and they sent her on a comedy show. They showed up on a show of mine in Reykavik, Alaska. And now they were going to do Alaska. I mean, sorry, Reykavik Iceland. They were going to do
Starting point is 02:13:22 Iceland and they wanted to for weeks. But they're comedy tourists. And they're like, well, Ari's flying there. That's an excuse. Let's go. And so they went to Reykavik. They went to my show and then they did the fucking ring road around Iceland. Caitlin Palufo comedian. Wanted to see the A, yeah, yeah. She goes, I'm going to go see him in Mexico City. She's just got to have a relationship and uh she goes i'm going she went alone she was scared but she had a blast she saw the yeah yeah yes dan soda on this podcast he wanted to go see the fucking that metal band what are they called i can never remember that name but dave gold played with him for a little bit queens of the stone age hey what's a fucking sweden fucking goose what up with a stop in rakevick you used that queens of the stone age show
Starting point is 02:14:11 As a fucking excuse, where are you going to go, goose? We can go swan. As an excuse to go do whatever you wanted to do. Find an excuse, that's another tip. Find an excuse and make that build a whole trip around that. Or just go and come back, but build a trip around it. But be willing to travel with your partner. Find an excuse to go.
Starting point is 02:14:33 Last one is, guys, hostels are actually really fun. I know. I know. I know. They're a little disgusting. But I want you to know. No one calls them youth hostels anymore. That's not a thing. No one calls them youth hostels. They're just hostels. And they're really fun. And if you get one that has a free breakfast, go to hostelworld.com. Use that app. It's tough because the social feature on there is not really exactly what you mean. But you want a free breakfast in the morning. Because what the free breakfast does, not always, but a lot, is it brings people together. to have a meal and you sit there and you eat the buffet but read the reviews if they go not really a social hostile avoid that one but they all come
Starting point is 02:15:22 together for this free breakfast to get that free meal to make ends meet especially people that have traveled a long time and you get tips from them you get those recommendations that I'm talking about you get tips from those people and they tell you like what's to do in the city oh there's fucking cholita's wrestling in La Paz what? Yeah these fucking
Starting point is 02:15:39 Cholitas were in the traditional garb, get no fucking ring, and wrestle. And yeah, it was all for fucking gringoes for sure, but it was so fun. I wouldn't know about that without that. Or there's some hike or there's some restaurant. Oh, I talked to some guy who gave me a restaurant in Sucre, Bolivia. He goes, it's like a Michelin Star restaurant, and it's 200 Boliviano's, which is like $40, wine pairing too. I'm like, what? And man, it was amazing. Nativa. Shout out Nativa. Gone again.
Starting point is 02:16:14 I mean, you can sort of see the other mountain. Let me zoom in. But not really. But I mean, guys, you can find... There's my camper. Don't you want to find places like this for yourself? Oops. Okay. So those are my tips. I should tell you that I should have told these before.
Starting point is 02:16:49 Guys, these tips are going to be easy to say, well, I can't do it for this reason or that reason. You got to want to go. If you don't want to go places, and I think you do, that's why you're watching this podcast or listening to this podcast in general, because you have a desire to go see places. I don't care, but I think you do. you got to want answers instead of problems. You've got to want solutions instead of obstacles. So I'm giving you all these things, all these tips. There's always a reason why I won't work. But you shouldn't be looking for the reasons why I won't work. Look for the reasons why I did.
Starting point is 02:17:21 Why it will work. I had a long talk with Louis C.K. a long time ago. Right? He's just unlucky Lou. He hadn't done his FX show yet. Done his third special in a row. And I asked him how crazy it was. I told him it was fucking nuts.
Starting point is 02:17:33 He's doing a special a year at that high level. And he explained to me how to do it. It was just long talk I've talked about on Skeptic Tank. Oh, well, those are all gone now. And in my head, I was like, yeah, sure, you can throw your material away and just do all this. You have HBO willing to give you a special whenever you want. What have I got? I can only do an album.
Starting point is 02:17:57 I can't do any of this. I don't have people calling for me. I don't have money like this to fucking put into stuff and I don't have a fan base like you do. And I didn't take any of his advice for about two years. And then maybe three years. And then it hit me that I'm looking for a reason why one of the greatest comedians of all time, why his advice, would not work for me.
Starting point is 02:18:21 Instead of looking for reasons why one of the greatest comedians of all time, why his advice would work for me. What a fool. I was a fucking chump. And then I started following his advice and fucking I started making a living. Right after that, I started making a living on my own.
Starting point is 02:18:38 I was like, fuck it, let me just try. Put out an album, we went to number one on iTunes, you know, which is almost nothing, by the way. Back then, it was like a flex, but really it meant like 5,000 records sold. Jim Gaffigan stays on iTunes is like, top. God damn, this water's so fucking blue. All the time.
Starting point is 02:18:57 He actually sells albums. Fluffy sells albums. But anyway, once in number one, then I was like, let me put out a special. did then another one and then I started making a living people started coming to my shows I started committing myself to doing new material and I took his advice and I'm telling you this advice is gonna help you if you're willing to take it and try to make it work if you try not to make it work you can make that happen to okay well that's it everybody
Starting point is 02:19:23 I think that's uh that's the episode again follow k nolan oh fucking horse uh damn by the way field notes durable this has been in the rain any other notebook would have fallen apart right now ralph pots thank you very much for uh the recommendation field notes um i think i see a place to poop and i could kind of do it here it's wide open you can do it right there okay nolan uh at nolan katie tell her where she should go um tell you like her if she's one of the best, most knowledgeable sports people around, although she did say Aaron Judge would not resign with the Yankees, and you were wrong. She's an amazing, she's a friend of mine, and you guys love
Starting point is 02:20:15 her. She's also one of the worst beer pong players of her encountered in my life. Yeah, this guy's sad because this fucking buddy is, has a head up on a pike somewhere. um hey buddy is there a place to poop around here that you know of just wondering if you know any places to poop no no stay there you don't have to show me i just want okay all right my bad my bad um check out how cool this water is uh thank you know on katie check out her podcast the casuals every tuesday and thursday look how blue that fucking waters um and her fan what is it fan service live 12 p.m. on mad dog radio serious xm before syriaxm goes away don't neglect to tuning in and now guys it's been a hundred episodes oh so i got some thanks
Starting point is 02:21:20 i got some thanks to the people who made this possible um i honestly didn't know how far i'd getting this i started doing the podcast before it even launched um on iPhones like this one in my spare bedroom where my old skip the tanks used to be on a weird backdrop um that I hung up behind me and uh 100 episodes is it's a fucking deal so I just want to thank some people so here's all the people that helped me get there pepper goins for writing the theme song The U-B-Triven theme song. Thank you very much. Gerard Gibran for the cartoon at the beginning of every episode.
Starting point is 02:22:04 May that, he's a comic in Vancouver. Check him out. Also, check out Pepper's stuff. He's fucking nuts and weird, and you should use him for your theme songs. Toby McMullen and Deez Nuts for building my studio in New York. Man, me and Toby had such a fucking blast every day, trying to think up the vibe of that thing. That was one of the best months.
Starting point is 02:22:26 Months and a half of my life, legitimately. Just being creative with, like, building things. Look at this bird. That's how fucking weird this bird is. So that's a mom and dad, and I saw the, I'm with her kids earlier. Their kids are probably all dead now, but Puma attack.
Starting point is 02:22:43 Yonk. Thorough, my landlord, for letting me do a podcast there when she said no business, and I go, hey, it's going to be business. But it's not going to be much. I'm barely going to be there and when I am
Starting point is 02:22:59 it's going to be yeah a little bit of noise I'm going to be screaming sometimes with people but it's like on average two three hours a week and she goes yeah okay do it so thank you Thorah for Trinidad's finest also thank you for Pete upstairs who died during the flood
Starting point is 02:23:15 had delayed the podcast for quite some time after me and Toby built up this whole studio and D's there was a flood and it totally flooded the place. It was unusable. Mold everywhere. But the podcast studio part was saved somehow.
Starting point is 02:23:35 And Pete wouldn't open his door to let them air the place out. Just refused to open. He had a longstanding war with Thora. Wouldn't open the door. Finally, she was like, well, I got it. There's going to be mold everywhere. And he was floating in a puddle. He was dead.
Starting point is 02:23:50 He was dead for quite some time and floating. Anyway, it took forever to re-rent the place, and I was able to smoke cigars and, uh, ooh, maybe do a fire right here. I was able to smoke cigars with people like Rob Lowe and Bobby Kelly and I'll sort this up before we had neighbors upstairs. And eventually they were like, hey, I got a kid, dude, and this fucking cigar smoke is terrible. I'm like, yeah, fair, fair enough. But thank you, Pete, for giving me at least a fucking year of no neighbor where I could do whatever I want. Liam Gwynn for making the background, the logo, that map, that first map in my old apartment, the one that hung up that I still have, so I'll probably use it somewhere when I get
Starting point is 02:24:32 back. And the logo, he made the UBtrip and stamp. He's a great, great designer, and he loves podcasts. If you've got a podcast or if you want something made, he's really interesting. He's like, thought something, so, I mean, the art of it, so he likes doing wild shit. Check them out on Abercadabber, at Abercadabur on Instagram. Salvo, for coming up with the name, Ubi Trippin. I was tossing over a bunch of names.
Starting point is 02:25:00 None of them were to be as fun. Salva Alcano came up with U.B. Trippin, and I loved it, and thank you very much. Tyler Penn, my graphic designer, whatever we put up videos on the screen, he shows the screens. He also helped me build the map, like the rounded map in my studio, once you replace the full backdrop map. sound engineer extraordinary any um body's guess any body's guests uh thank you very much for helping me with even this even the sound system here like you really fucking did it for me um could not have done that without you
Starting point is 02:25:38 every time something broke uh you were right there with advice easy to work with thank you um the people who designed my backdrop marcus leport and thomas schneider the one in my Austin's studio. It's a fucking sick one. Thank you guys. My editing team. Alan Caffy, editor extraordinaire. God, he's so fucking good. All this stuff, he uses his fucking mind, puts in jokes every time I fail or some user error happens. God damn it. He's right there to make fun of me and keep it fresh and interesting through editing. Thank you, Alan Caffe. Chris Larson, heading up the editor. Department of YMH. YMH is, well, let me, oh yeah, I'll just say it now, just the easiest
Starting point is 02:26:27 company to work with in the world. They are so professional and such pieces of shit at the same time that it's like, I don't know why any comic would want to go to any other network at all. It's so fun being over there and it's a family and I just fucking love it. I'm just glad to be a part of it, to be honest. Chad Wallin for doing the first maybe 60 episodes of this before moving on to other things and doing that Ghana episode. Niana Pellet taking its place beautifully.
Starting point is 02:26:59 Josh Zolo, thank you very much for fucking, you know, helping me run all this shit. I appreciate it. Heather Mills and Caitlin sat at the... Oh, fuck. I'm at a breath. It's not even high up.
Starting point is 02:27:13 At the goddamn. Heather Mills and Caitlin sat in the fucking social media department, making clips, making funny, fucking stuff, taking a break from their main job, munching boxes all day to help me, you know, promote this show. I really appreciate it. If you don't know them, they're two champion-level box munchers, devout lesbians who love getting their fucking chins just fucking soaked. You just see them when I come into the office, just pruny. their chin it looks like Jay Leno just like pruning I'm like what the did you get chin implants and like no I've been munching box for fucking hours and their skin gets pruny and I mean nothing can get them for munching box but they stop to help promote this this podcast and I really appreciate that
Starting point is 02:28:07 it's not a it's not an easy thing to find when you get that that high level of box munchers also the fucking YMH ad team for i mean guys i'm making money being here and that's because of them allan the wrench abdine um alley brys zach and gabby thank you guys very much legitimately if you're watching this alt me being here um maybe you've done that without you guys look at that it's a cloudy day this is like a shitty day here God damn. Five and one.
Starting point is 02:28:59 Yep. And thank you guys. Who else we got? Did I remember everybody? Leon. Tyler, Marcus. Oh. Ryan Hall.
Starting point is 02:29:12 Thank you very much, buddy, for making this deal happen. It took a long fucking time. you helped convinced everybody over there that I was worth working with and I appreciate it like immensely and it's been a fucking great working with you on this and
Starting point is 02:29:32 and even more on the other thing that's going to come out that we'll announce in a couple months but there you go there's a light thank you and the boss El Hefe Tom Segura for deciding finally to put a
Starting point is 02:29:49 just a wild idea to put a to put a comedian on the YMH network it was nuts a lot of people wouldn't have done that a lot of people would have just kept putting non-comedies on but you had the fucking foresight and wherewithal to take a chance
Starting point is 02:30:10 to work with someone who literally no one else would work with I burned every bridge I've ever come across to get on the water of my own. So Tom, the hefe, thanks man. Seriously, you've helped save me like a bunch of times. This being able to like just do this with that. I was so DIY on my other podcast.
Starting point is 02:30:38 It took so much time. And you built this fucking network where I was envious of you because I'm like, you can just go in and say, press record, and then they start, and then you just leave, and everything else gets taken care of, on a really high level with people who really want to work there. And then you're like, come be a part of it. And so, man, it's been great. This thing you set up, having a little bit of responsibility, it's really helped me.
Starting point is 02:31:06 So thanks, Tom. I mean, honestly, this, the thing that's coming soon and convincing me to, convincing me to do my juice special i was done with it you telling me like come on man what are you doing that was like really good you should do something with that and i was like it's done and you were like kind of let me see what a fucking idiot i was so thank you for that that's it that's everybody that's everybody who's helped with this project um you be tripping i'm having a fucking blast and also the guests also the guests 100 episodes probably what 95 guests who's repeated. Sam Talent, Column Turrell. Who else is repeated? Sam Talent, Column
Starting point is 02:31:56 Tyneau, Ryan O'Neill. Wait, has that, oh, yeah. Ari Maddie, maybe, Rolf Potts. Has Giulio's second episode been on, Julia Gallaudi? Oh, Mark Norman, Joe List. yeah so let's say 93 95 something like that guess and all the places we've been thank you to the world for fucking taking people in that was gay that's it guys that's it 100 episodes up
Starting point is 02:32:27 and 100 episodes down I'm already sure next week Danny Polishik will be taking us to Laos first time going to Laos first new country I mean there's so much poop here who's gonna if I take a shit here. And who's going to find me? I mean, I should just do it right here.
Starting point is 02:32:45 I'll never be able to get a more beautiful place to poop than right here. Yeah. Right? Who's going to come up on me? Yeah. Okay, guys. Also, thank you very much for wet wipes. I'm sorry, wet ones for giving just them be gentle and sensitive wet wipes where you got a shit in the woods look no further than wet ones to really the gentle ones to really caress your ass and really get it clean it away that only a bidet could but you'll never get out in nature i'm a shafir everybody um get out there go get your passport right now follow the link right now at the bottom of the screen okay bye is that everybody it's everybody god
Starting point is 02:33:38 Can I just say, I'm having a fucking blast. This has been the trip of my life. And doing the occasional fucking weighing in with you guys has been totally fine and kind of fun. And just to be able to report on how much of a good time I'm having to somebody has been pretty fucking cool, even if it's people I don't know, but I kind of do know you. All right.
Starting point is 02:33:59 Bye, get out there. Make your own trips. Guys, I forgot. To thank some of the sponsors. who have made this 100 episodes special. Obviously, they're all, like, appreciate the money, but there's a few that really stand out. And also, by the way, should I just say the Patreon members,
Starting point is 02:34:17 the ones that are still subscribing, even though I've legitimately put up nothing. I haven't even set the person around the world. I've got to do that. I mean, I'm New Year's resolution. I'm doing that by May, hopefully before. But let's get, say, if I haven't done it by May, I really am bad.
Starting point is 02:34:37 Yeah, I just. got to get on that. Heather and Caitlin, send me the 10th finalist, and I'm just going to reach out to them right now. But the sponsors that I like more than anybody, um, like I said, the money is great for all of them, but, um, can I say Shopify has always let me do whatever ads I wanted to in whatever order I wanted to and say the most fucked up shit to, to, to push their brand. And I appreciate that, you know, there's some that just make me do dumb copies straight away. And it's like, I'll do it, but it's like, what a waste. Fahim Anwar said this once.
Starting point is 02:35:10 He was in a writer's room, Chuck Lorry. They just talked about plot, and he was sitting there, not contributing. He goes, guy, I felt like a Ferrari idling. It's a high-level stand-up comic, and you're just sitting there having meetings about plots. So Shopify, thanks for letting me do whatever I want. And also sheath underwear, though, I don't know. They don't sponsor much, but they're the number one underwear in comedy. And they're the only ones I've brought out with me here on this trip.
Starting point is 02:35:36 See that? That's a sheath brand. They're great. They hug my balls. I love them. If I do any other fucking whatever, I'm wearing sheath. So those are the two ones, guys. Yeah, support them because they're great.
Starting point is 02:35:49 Also, Gooder glasses came with me in this trip and the perfect jeans as well. But, like, those two, Shopify and Sheath are like my favorite. And the Patreon. Okay, that's it. That's the end of the episode. Well, one more. Let me show you where I pooped. Come on, it's over this way.
Starting point is 02:36:10 It's over this way. I did it right there. Be the Puma!

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