You Be Trippin' - Traveling with Kids w/ Luis J Gomez | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

Go watch Luis' new special!! https://www.youtube.com/@LuisJGomezComedy Follow Luis on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ SPONSORS: -Go to http://Superpower.com to learn more and lock in the special $199 price while it lasts. Live up to your 100-Year potential. #superpowerpod -Live Better Longer with BUBS Naturals. For A limited time get 20% Off your entire order with code TRIPPIN at https://Bubsnaturals.com On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', Ari sits down with his buddy Luis J. Gomez to talk about the epic father/son adventures he takes with his kid each year. From doing gladiator training in Rome to feeding monkeys in Costa Rica, Luis proves he’s the kind of dad who’s raising his son on pure chaos and memories. They reminisce about hitting Vegas for Penn and Teller, sipping virgin piña coladas in Puerto Rico, and why every trip feels like a movie. Plus, Luis gives Ari the inside scoop on Skankfest. See ya later, champ! You Be Trippin' Ep. 91 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:50 - Yearly Father Son Trip 00:10:15 - Puerto Rico 00:33:34 - Cali & Wild Animals 00:47:42 - Costa Rica 01:05:51 - Skankfest & Vegas 01:15:09 - Italy 01:39:08 - Planning a Trip Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movember is tackling the biggest health issues facing men today. Join the movement and donate now at Movember.com. Welcome to you be tripping, everybody. It's a travel pod. It looks like it's not facing me. Hold on. Do you want water? No.

Want booze? I said a fucking, no, I'm not drinking. It's had a nice fat steak. What? I had a nice fat steak. No, I mean, I heard you, but like. Yeah. I'm just doing a carnivore diet right now.

Oh, really? I'm just eating meats. You got a grill at home, right? Yeah. That's the best. Put a fucking steak on. Eat it by yourself. It's $8.

and it should have been a $60 steak. It's more expensive than that. I steal it. You replace, you got her stick. It's like, she's like, this filet me and you know, I was like, no, it's two hamburgers. It's two hamburger patties. Bring it up. Where you've been and where you're going.

This is our race travel show, yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's U.B. Tripping, yeah. Welcome to UB. Tripping, everybody. It's a travel podcast. Every week, I like to travel.

I've been to at this point, I actually have to count, 30-something countries. God, it seems like it should be more, right? Yeah, you're out of town more than you're in town. Yeah. And I, you should have like a little pin thing where you put a pin where you put in the wall and it would fill up.

The problem is you put a pin that's all of Portugal, one pin. Yeah. Have you been to Spain? Yeah. I think we've got to Spain next year for the first time too. I got tips for you. We love it. Off air, I got too.

Is there an episode of you'd be tripping about Spain? Yeah, but I believe it's like, it's like rural, like not Barcelona, Spain. No, no, no. It's like somewhere like someone like was in college. Oh, Shane. But it was like, but it was like an hour away from, what's the other? Madrid. So it's a place no one will go.

Yeah. So that won't help. I hear I love Spain. Italy is my favorite place. Yeah. So everyone's like, dude, Spain's fucking like cool Italy. Spain's cool Italy. I like that.

Today the guess is Louis. out of respect here because you're a guest of my podcast Jay how bothers you Gomez it's bothering you to say

it's the first I've ever said it wow I wouldn't even search I looked up your website and I was like Louis Gomez like I don't know what you mean I'm like Louis Gomez

and they're like do you chat chibati he's like do you mean no I could drop the attitude he goes but there's another thing in there I'm like there's not a name is a name

and do you use Shatschipati to travel I don't but it would probably a good idea although no Itinerary, though fucking... The problem is you're following an approved itinerary where I want word of mouth

like, that sounds interesting to me, not you, let's make some decisions. Here's where I used it, right? I told you before I go on a father-son trip every year. Today we're going to do a theme episode. Theme episode. Bum-bub-bomb-bomb, Kiron. More work for Alan.

It's a theme episode, everybody, the second or third one or fourth or something. traveling as a parent I like it you go to where every year we go somewhere new every year me and my son that is adventurous father's son trip somewhere new I let him choose you let him choose but he's kid he's stupid so you could like you know he can push him into cheap places like I want to Japan like here we are I was like everyone's like Mexican though like Japan it is we're here in Japan I mean Connecticut there's an old Jack Handy where it's like I didn't have money for Disneyland so I took my nephew to a burned down where

house and told him that Disneyland's dead and he cried but I saved a lot of money no yeah you could usually you can manipulate children pretty easily this is why I'm saying like parents they hit their kids you're like you can't just manipulate them you couldn't figure out how to outsmart your child yeah you gotta punch him yeah you got what's wrong with you're dumb bro you know what they have on cars on all cars child locks yeah because they'll just jump out in the middle of a ride and they're too dumb to figure out the child luck oh yeah like a lighter like they don't they're their weak thumbs can't push down the lighter. It's fucking pathetic.

They're fucking children. They really just leap out every one of them. They're like, we got to do something here. There's going to be a time when my son can beat me in thumb wrestling, but it's, I mean, it feels like it's years away. Until that time. I mean, the weak thumbs on this fucking boy, he's 12. He's huge, too.

But anyway, I do a father's son trip every year, just me and him. I started doing it when he was four years old. Wow, that's young. But the last time, I used Chat, TBT, the last one we did was very. Vegas, which I know we talk international, so I won't spend a lot of time talking Vegas with a child. But this is part of this is part of this theme of travel. Because a lot of people look for excuses to not go.

Money is one. Yeah. Time is another. Yeah. And parenthood is another one that people put you like, I can't. Money and time and parenthood are the reason you travel. It's because you have a limited amount of money. You're buying memories.

You can't ever get rid of those memories, right? I mean, you know, technically you could fucking, you know, somebody can crack their skull or die or whatever. but for the most part like I'm giving my son memories with myself we do family trip we're doing a family trip to Italy in a few weeks um but it's like that that experience like you know if I never have an inheritance for him or property to give him he'll have these memories as a fucking kid going with his dad somewhere new every year which is incredible your memory of your father's bleeding out yeah I went to uh I went to his funeral that's my only memory we did that together um which was nice um but that is that's cool it's cool that you're doing it yeah Because most people wouldn't. Well, I made a decision when my son was born. I was like, I want to, by the time he has memories, well, he's like four. Because my earliest memories is when I'm like four, which was literally my father's death.

But when I was like, by the time he's four, I want to have like a nice place and I want to be able to take him somewhere every year. So he has like a memory of like, oh, he's going somewhere new. And sure enough, as soon as I, as soon as he turned four, I started making a little bit of money. And I started like having like nice things. And like, but for me, that's like an exercise in goal setting. I should have just moved the goalposts a little bit further. We're in a lot. We're in control of all of this shit.

What do you mean? I'm saying that I just made the specific goal that I wanted to have like a nice place and be able to afford to take him on vacations and not be broke. And then I was. But if I had said, all right, well, you know what I want to have three houses? Yeah. You would have just done that. But that's the truth.

Like we're all in control of all this. You know what I'm saying? It's a serious decisions. He goes, what do you want to do with your career? Like when I was like a door guy? And I'm like, you know, if I could play clubs, that's like, that's like the ultimate. If I could just like headline clubs. And he's like, well, I mean, sell them out, I guess.

He goes, he goes, not more. I'm like, well, I mean, I can't do theaters. Why not? Why can't you do theaters? When no one was. Yeah. He's like, because you said, and he was right. We were all doing them now.

Well, that's exactly it. Like, and you start to realize that. It's like, well, look, everyone in the world, or not everyone in the world, but like 90% of people in this country are house broke, meaning that they make just enough money to pay all their bills at the end of the month. That's not a coincidence. That's because people set goals and they hit them. It's actually, you're watching everyone being able to set a goal and hit it every month. Instead of saying, oh, I want to save X amount of dollars or I want to be rich or whatever else it is,

they limit themselves because they go, oh, I got to come up with $2,000 a month for my rent. I got to come up with another $100 a month for my cell phone. And then that's all they do. That's all they do. And then they kind of stop there. They run to the finish lines instead of through it. Yeah. And if you will, the reality is just creating a new finish line.

You have to think. And I started thinking of things that way, you know, much more recently. and I sort of just every year I move it up a little bit and a little bit and a little bit and a little bit and you know You're doing great eventually hopefully it's better than I am no please you live in a house Well you choose to live in a tiny apartment in New York City like a psycho You pay more money than most people pay for their houses You could own five houses for the amount of money you spend here Oh God, it's terrible

But yeah I took James last year to Vegas just father-son trip and I used chat GPT to help with the itinerary Now I knew what I wanted to do I wanted to take him to see Penn and Teller which Dr. Drew was like friends with them so he got me backstage as a dog pissing what are you doing what a dumb dog no offense he was looking right at it he's uninspired

he's like I mean I'll get it but I'm not going to fetch it the fetch is disrespectful but I like I knew what I wanted to do I wanted to go to the take him to Penn and Teller take him to Penn and Teller which was awesome I wanted to take him to the sphere really i wanted to you there's a dead you get them fucked up no no no there's a movie there's a movie at the sphere which was really cool and then i wanted to take him to circta saleh i want to take him some nice restaurants i've been in Vegas a bunch but what i do you trying to turn him

persian i wanted to get some hookers i wanted to get some blow uh maybe rent a tiger um you got comps circus circus but on uh on chat tv what i would do is i was like all right i'm going to pen and teller tonight right i was like and after after i have dinner at five at sushi samba then i have pen and teller at eight i was like give me three options for things that we can walk to in that area oh now that's cool and then they would give me like if you if you guided that much i'll okay yeah of course no it was a great it was a great tool because it was always something to do i was like if we want to have snacks i was like give me like the best snacks in the area i have a couple hours to kill you know and then they would you know tell me where to go or give me options

and you just sort of make decisions based off that it is better like when you're like I want Thai food and you're like okay look up nearest Thai food and then you're like you go to one like it's two hour away and you're like go to the other one's like yeah we can sit you right now yeah chat GBD like give me Thai food in the area with not a long line yeah of course just know it or you'd be like give me five Thai restaurants now teach me how to fucking order in Thai teach me how to order in Thai what's the rudest thing I can get away with in front of a Thai person. So yeah, we do a father-son trip every year.

The first one was when he was four. You know the thing when the waiters go like, hey, just so you know, I'm leaving. Somebody has a joke about it. I'm leaving, but so-and-so is going to take over. And it's like, I don't, I didn't even look at you. But the Thai rush on, you could be like, so this is James.

He'll be taking over or Johnny, he'll be taking over. And you go, same, same, but different? It's a Thailand joke. All right. So go ahead. You took him there. You took him where first? First year was 2000, or he was four years old.

I took him to Puerto Rico, father son. Okay, father son trip. No visa necessary. Nope, no passport, no visa, no nothing. How was that? It's great. I've been to Puerto Rico a handful. I've been to Puerto Rico probably like eight times now at this point.

What'd you do? We stayed in San Juan at the Hilton. Yeah. Which is, uh, they claim that they invented the Pinacolada. The Hilton. Yeah. The Hilton. The Hilton.

No, the Pina coliola. The bartender that was. worked at the Hilton. He looked at this up. He invented the Pina Collade and whatever it was, like 70 something. And he's still there? No, no, he's not there anymore. I think he's dead.

What do you think he's going to say? Let's see, where was the Pinoquad invented? San Juan, Puerto Rico, specifically the Carribe Hilton Hotel. This is a big deal of Ramon Monschito Morero, the bartender of the hotel, creating the drink in 1954. He mixed rum, coconut cream, pineapple juice, resulting in the iconic tropical cocktail. There was no peanut. The Hilton.

What's that song? In a pinocalada. Getting thump in the drains. When was this released? What do you think? It was after 1979. So 25 years later before somebody sang about it. Yeah.

The Carribe. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. And it was a pretty cool Hilton, dude. They had a parrot that spoke. What do you mean? Really? Yeah, yeah.

You'd just walk by. He'd be like, hello. I was like, hello. Colonizers, colonizers. It was like, I spent so much time just drunk talking to this parrot in the lobby of the Hilton. Parrot with you drunk is equal pudding. Yeah, dude. I was like, oh, dude, I would just, I mean, probably for an hour I talked to that parrot.

It was fucking great. Hi, guys. Ari Shafir here breaking in today's episode live from the Colonial District of Mogadishu, Somalia, to tell you a little about the guest, Lewis. That's right. deserves it, the J. Gomez. He is, bar none, the realist-ass dude in comedy. I'm telling you, nobody's even close. Whoever you think of as real ass is not the real as Lewis. And today has a new special out on YouTube called You're Making This Worse. It's available right now on

YouTube.com slash Lewis J. Gomez comedy. Oh yeah, no, go ahead, block my shot. It's not the most important thing in my fucking life. Smoke your cigarette. Lewis the man, you guys. And now that he's made, produced a series of specials for his friends, and now he's back to make his own great special. He's a really funny stand-up comic, and I think you guys will love him. And really, there's nothing better you can do than check out a special from a stand-up comic. It's the most important thing, and probably a two-year period for us. Or a one-year period for the people who put him out too much trying to be like Louis C.K., and they're just not. You can also see him on his podcast, multiple podcasts,

called Skanks, Legion of Skanks, the Regs, and his new one, Story Wars, he does every week with Big J. Big J. O'Cerson? Oh, does that where he got the J. from? Is he copying it from Big J. O'Cerson? Louis J. Gomez? It might be something there.

I'm a winner of Story Wars. You should check out that episode, where I won, and those two guys lost. Check them out on Instagram. Gomez comedy on Instagram. Also, all his tour dates. On his website, Lewis of Skanks.com.

It's going to be in Nashville, Columbus for New Year's, Miami's Burger, Ohio. That's a real place. Batavia and Kansas City. Check them all. But really, guys, what you want to do is check out a special and you're making this worse.

Look at this place. Whoever, who knew that Mogadishu could be this beautiful in the summertime. Check that out. Go pan out of there. Look at that. Those are all poor people.

these are all the riches and those are all the pores and they have to stay up there if they come down there they get shot and that's the story of Mogadishu for myself

you can follow this podcast on UBTrippingPod on Instagram please subscribe wherever we're watching or listening YouTube.com slash at UBTrippingPod

please leave a comment for the algorithm and I don't know what else get yourself with UBTripping T-shirt that you can wear anywhere you want

and get yourself a box of psychedelic playing cards where I in the King of Mushrooms. It's all available at Arieshaffir.com or at the bottom of the screen wherever you're watching or listening. And tell a friend about this podcast, everybody. I'm enjoying doing it. Let's get back to the episode, Louis J. Gomez.

That's right, Jay. Telling us, how did you travel with a child? I would always say, get rid of it. The only travel you should do is if you live in a state doesn't allow abortions, take that child over to one of those free states, and get rid of it so you can travel on your own um that's it everybody let's get back to the episode but again for real go check out louis's special you're making this worse on youtube right now

leave him a comment tell him you heard about uh his special from this podcast that'll make me happy there's got to be something something you can leave in the comments i know say hey or he told me to finally give you the j and then make you can make up whatever the j is it's how you finally deserve the jay because ri said it thank you i came here from you be tripping anything like that guys um all right let's get back to the episode louis james comus travel with child let's get back to it but it was a beautiful really beautiful hilt and how did james like it he loved it he was four dudes he's drinking virgin peanut collas does he know this is different this is interesting yeah at four yeah james always been very smart

very smart kid um and uh very appreciative very sweet kid um and uh yeah we we went there and we went to old san juan which is really cool um you know just like once again when i go on where i go on vacation what's old san juan old san juan is uh an older version of san juan is it is it like an old town is it's kind of like yeah it's like um you know it's colorful like older buildings um really beautiful restaurants when i go on vacation i'm going on vacation to just eat good food and create memories okay so we did have this for the last time you're like i don't want to want to see parts of Jamaica. I'm going to Jamaica to chill. Yeah. Because it's tropical and there's a beach and there's warm weather. This is why you won a trip year. You know you won a tripe

award last year. Yeah. Was it the most boring? Lease adventurous. I was least adventurous. I was least adventures. Out of every, come on. And of all we had on. That's 35 episodes. That's impossible. I was adventurous. First of all, go to Jamaica. You can get killed with machetes. I don't care what it's for. It's an award. Oh. It's Louis-Shay. That's a Trippie Award. There's a globe. Oh my God. Oh, least adventurous villa in Jamaica.

It's pretty adventurous, doggy. Is it, though? Is it the least adventurous of everybody that you had on the end? I think it was. No, stop. I want to know who else was nominated. I don't know.

Let me look it up. Let me look it up. Look at the Trippie Award. I'm so excited. Least adventurous, let's see here. That's a cool award. Those are nice quality, too. Yeah, it is.

I have the least damn oh there we go you'll be two come here bandit oh there's actually okay so I have most adventurous H Foley because he really tried where did he go grease but like he really he really got out of his comforts on the go time out time out I know because his age only went to Greece three months after I did and I gave him a bunch of advice there was no fucking adventure because he's fat and had to walk upstairs that's not that's not adventure best meal we had a few of those interesting ones um biggest piece of shit McCusker was nominated Sal column David Cross Best Trip was like a lot of them

Lease Adventurous one nominee No stop you No one else had no adventure You were so little adventure You brought your staff Well first I've been to these villas I've been to Jamaica 12 times now Wow any machete any machete sightings

The first one of the first times I went The first time went to Jamaica I stayed in New Grill at a shitty result with this fat chick and uh that's adventurous too she could stop breathing at a time that's scary because you were fucking her so hard because you were fucking her in my face it's like i didn't stop breathing i said uh and i watched a fight on the beach between two jamaicans one guy hit the other guy in the head with a rock and the other guy chased him around with a machete where is it where's what oh i'm bringing it at home i don't have i don't have trophies this is what no you

definitely bring it home i just thought it was like 100% um buddy I'm sorry it's fine I do feel like there's probably I guarantee you that H. Foley strip to Greece was less adventurous than mine and you gave him most adventurous

which is crazy no no he was nominated for most adventurous yeah he did not win most adventurous I think this guy went to Morocco and almost got married off married off during an eat ceremony

that was pretty wild that's adventurous yeah he was like went for it no I mean dude just leaving the villa to go buy ice cream and the quarter mile walk I mean, it's very dangerous. I think that's adventurous as fuck. Okay.

There's Jamaicans everywhere in Jamaica. Do you know that? Do you understand what you're dealing with? Buddy, I'll change your light bulb. I'll change your light bulb. Get out of here. Get out of here. Okay, so you took him to Puerto Rico the first time.

What adventurous thing that we do? What did he like about it? He was too young to even like really give his opinions now. I just know we'll look at pictures still sometimes. He was like, oh, dad, I love that. He loved the parrot. We both love the parrot for different reasons. He was a young boy.

He was like a parrot that talks. I'm a fucking old man. I'm like, oh, go parrot. I'm fucking retarded. Mahi. I was fucking talking to us. But we went to, we tried to go to El Yonke, which is a rainforest. In Puerto Rico?

In Puerto Rico. I took his mother there when she was pregnant with him. We went. Didn't work. We, we, I tried to get her to drink the water. No, but we saved in like a cabin in El Junke. and we watched the UFC fights in that cabin in a beautiful, beautiful cabin.

Bro, this is gorgeous. All glass, the cabin was literally in the middle of the rainforest. It was just all glass walls, so you were just surrounded by nature completely. Sister X? Yeah, I wish. What a homo lady this is,

and whoever's taking it for her. Just some fucking hand job. Every time I go on a vacation with the chick, it's like literally half my time. Can you move out? It's just me taking pictures of her trying to be hot. Which is just like for their next Tinder account. And then they're never,

fucking happy they're never happy with the pictures what's better traveling with a chick or traveling with james james doesn't blow you chicks give well they he does uh chicks give better head he's got a small mouth he's a boy he's a young boy he's got a little mustache now so you know tickles nice but uh no it's no my son obviously my son obviously my son just the best traveling with him every year we do something new and he's once again i it's i'm creating memories with him that he's going to have forever like I aren't like my kid my childhood traveling yeah was so shitty the biggest vacation I took when I was a kid was Atlantic City and I wasn't even with my mom we would go with my friend rock my gay

friend Rocky's family yeah would bring me to Atlantic City and we'd say at bally's but it was like for me it was glamorous dude like I was like wow this is wild because I was so broke it was AC I see and we go to the beach I was like I got to collect on a long bet for National Championship. Just getting the car. It's also the worst homeless people. It's disgusting. There's like a lady with no arms and her legs.

She's playing the piano with her tongue. You're like, this is... I always said Atlantic City was like a blueprint for Vegas and Vegas was a thing. But now I'm realizing Atlantic City is like a blueprint for Austin. For the homeless. The Atlantic City homeless are next level. And it's gotten even worse.

It's even more desolate. If you go now, I'm performing in Atlantic City a couple weeks. It's... This is coming out in 2026. Yeah. The last year I performed in Atlantic City. It was pretty wild. Wow.

I hope we got stabbed to death there. He foretold it. But yeah, we just, you know, Puerto Rico sucks. That's the truth, right? Puerto Rico's not a great place. I've gone so many times just because before I had a passport, I would go. It's kind of the most event, even more than Hawaii, the most adventurous place you can go without a buswork. Because it is, remember I lost a bet to you about it being in another country?

Oh, yeah. We were doing skanks at Creek. Yeah. It was before Trump said whatever he said. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it was right then. I'm trying to think. Trump was eight.

Trump got in about eight years ago. The first time was 2016. It had to be before that. I think it was just a random this gang's episode. And you're like, I guarantee he's part of America. I'm like, what are you talking about? You had no idea.

And then when Trump said that and everybody turned on them, I'm like, I know none of us know because I've already been through this. So I know you guys are lying about how you always knew. Yeah, Puerto Rico, it feels almost like Miami. It's like, it's just,

just kind of like, you know, it's just, it's, it's, it is like, uh, training wheels for going out of the country. Right. You know? It's all Spanish? Yeah, all Spanish speaking people. I mean, most of them speak English too, except the old people. But, you know, Puerto Rican food kind of sucks. Yeah. Like, once again, when I go on vacation, I want to eat something really incredible. And Puerto Rican food sucks? It's just not great. Like, mafungo. Mufungo is overrated. It's just, ugh. It's a ball of fucking whatever. And they all Mashed bananas and you're supposed to get into it. But no, it sucks.

Mifungo sucks. Now, I will tell you the fucking, what's that? Chicharon, the crispy chicharon is good, but I think, I don't even know that's there or D.R. That's not even, that's in almost any span. Cuba, D.R. Puerto Rico, you'll get that everywhere. Mexico's all soggy and floggy. Mexico sucks, too.

I was just in Mexico, and we're talking about me doing a skank fest. I was in a couple days ago. Yesterday I got that. You were trying to skankfest, Mexico City? Skankfest, Cancun. at a resort at a resort you know what a little dumb dump club used to do what

um not see em reap they did a uh costumoi comedy festival it's where the full moon parties are in Thailand oh that's fine and they get their people there two weeks after full moon so it's like

whatever like let's all just go there resorts beaches we'll do three live podcasts and then the rest just let's just drink and be degenerate pieces of shit Yeah. Cancun would be cool, too. You could be real shitty after it. We would take over a resort.

We did the one. Didn't we do it? JFL did it. There was a festival somewhere. I think Cancun. No, I did one. Were you in Mexico? No, you weren't the Cabo Comedy Festival?

Cabo. Were you there? Yeah, Jeff Dye was there. Jeff Dye would take a shirt off at bars and goes, we're comics, we do what we want. He was like really drunk and getting into it. It was fun. I love Jeff Dye.

It was fun. He's a lunatic, but I love him. He just, he could have went through the completely like straight lace. good looking dude he was on last comic standing heat and then he was like you know what i'm gonna fucking be a nazi which i love i really appreciate him for that he's awesome i love jep he's the man yeah guys are you like are you like always tired no matter how much rest you get you know like you sleep more and more and your doctors tell you like you know you're going you're like why am i so fatig why have a brain fog and your doctor's like get more rest i'm a comic i get more

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recovery. Super easy to use. Just mix bubs into your coffee, smoothie, or juice each morning. It's tasteless, odorless, and dissolves instantly. No clumps and no weird aftertaste. Live better, longer. For a limited time only, my listeners are getting 20% off at Bubbs Naturals by using code tripping at checkout. Just head to B-U-B-S-Naturals.com. Use the code tripping and you're all set after you purchase they're going to ask you what you heard about them please support my show and tell them you'll be tripping sent you well let's get back to the episode but no we i did the cobble comedy festival uh somebody years ago what's his name cried the gay who's that guy who came out of the closet at 50 meanie kevin meanie oh really yeah he cried because

he had such a bad set he's dead we can talk whatever we want about him yeah nice um he was like it was like kevin it sucks we're just here for their free vacation yeah it's not about the sets Oh dude I This was a different festival Okay The guys from the stand Were involved Running this one

And it wasn't great It was so fucking awful They were like When do we put the pizza oven Like all right All right guys Come down Dude it's kick out

It was Cabo And it was like crazy Dude I got Coke Who did I get Coke for Let's name names Um Cocaine

Cocaine Cocaine I had a bit My first special about it About kidding In fact I talked about this On Soders podcast

Don't put this out as a clip because I collaborated on the clip talk about how to get free cocaine in Mexico and then Instagram suspended everything I can't I can't live stream for a year right now I can't monetize anything for a year what because they said I was promoting

how to get drugs you're like I mean I was but but that doesn't mean you should demonetize me I was telling a story on what I did in Mexico which is a 100% true story and I just get I get you can see their side of it though I got free samples of cocaine on the beach

at Mexico oh yeah you go from spot to spot yeah someone could someone not here fuck anyway you did check out Sotter's podcast everybody sort of pot and find out everything you need to know about here you've been shipping we stand staunchly against drug use of any kind yeah but so that that comedy festival was awful I fucked like a 70-year-old woman it was wild me and Al Jackson did every drug possible Al he's the part he's an animal dude he is a fucker he is a fucker he's I met Al, I mean, maybe when I was a year in comedy, this is like 20 years ago, and he was part of a group called the Miami Comics, and they were all terrible except for Al Martin, or Al

Al Jackson, and Odie Perez was pretty good. He was funny guy. Okay. But Al Jackson was a, I mean, dude, we partied so hard in Mexico. I mean, we're just doing Coke. We went to, you know, what do they call it? I will always go for it. Yeah, just savage. Yeah. I was the kind of I also did a pharmacy what a pharmacy got a bunch of just like pills like random pills they were like this is Adderall we're like no it's not wow do you have a one of each yeah just literally popped all these different pills it was a real fucking and then I met this old lady just an old woman yeah because back in the day I would just I would fuck almost anything literally just any girl that was willing to open her legs for me I would be down who we used the condom you or your

friend at the old uh stand up new What's a bathroom? One of you used someone else's condom. No, no, that was a story with me and Dave Smith, who would not be happy that I would even discuss this right now. That's why I said, just your friend. I think that was a bit that we did. I don't think anybody actually reused the condom.

We did both bang the same chick in the bathroom. But I think I just raw dog did. Yeah, that makes more sense. When you think about it, it's like that story is like, no. Yeah, I'm going to take your cum in my pee hole. That's insane, dude. I should have been through that. You know, Ms. Pat was the first one to break that, to me,

like Jussie Smollett was lying before anyone else knew yeah everyone's like he's a hero oh my God what happened and she goes that motherfucker lying but she said a different M slash N word and I was like what do you mean she goes who use a name brand bleach

that's fucking do an attack you use fucking Costco bleach that guy would have fallen name brand give me a break that guy would have fall from grace right just for no reason it's so funny too how they didn't all go oh shit that was really shitty man that their side

Yeah, yeah, of course. They go, hey, that's really shitty. They just go, well, we'll leave that one alone. You don't none of us believe anybody now. Yeah. You can't get it. Now, we should attack him now for real. We should, we're going to believe.

Let's do a race attack on Jesse Smollett now. Screamed the animals are punching him. Extra ones. Nobody would believe him. Ah, fuck, that's a great idea. Dude, let's race attack Jesse Smollett. Modern interpretation of the boy who fried wolf. Who's going to believe you, Edward?

Oh, shit. But yeah, so, yeah, the first trip was great. My son was very young, so it was just hanging out at the hotel. We did go back to El Yonke, but we took an Uber there, and you can't drive an Uber all the way in. You have to do, like, a tour bus or whatever. So I had the driver drop us off, and then we started walking. It was pouring rain, so we never actually got to the rainforest. The adventure was turning around and eventually trying to find another quarter of the home.

This is rain. It's rain, it's rain. El Yonke, I've got to get there. Have you been to Puerto Rico? No. Oh, you would like it. I'm sure. It's cool. If you go to the rainforest, it's fun.

My Spanish is not very bad. I don't speak any of Spanish. Okay, so then where'd you take him? Our next trip was to, this one I was dating Kim Kong, didn't. Oh, yeah. I met her in California. And then me and James spent a few days at Universal Studios. Did he ever call her mom? No.

No. Did he call any of them? No, he doesn't. Was he ever like, I was rooting for this one, man? I think he liked Kim. I think you did like it. Everyone loves Kim's great, you know. Kim's great if you're not dating her. Kim's, yeah, she's a psycho.

No, she's not a, she's gotten a lot better. She's a psycho, and I love her because I've never dated her. Yeah, well, I'll admit this. You're also a psycho. Because I talked to Kim recently about it. About getting about together? No, no. She was like, she was, because we've gotten over all of our shit, right?

And, you know, I was just like, look, She was like, I know you think I'm crazy and I was like no, I'm I drove you crazy. I know that. I know that like I was a big part of the equation. Kim's crazy. She has her own issues, but I'm particularly like I'm fucking I'm fucking I'm fucking I'm fucking I'm fucking I'm fucking I'm fucking I'm fucking I make normal girls kind of crazy. I make normal girls kind of crazy. Every girl that I've ever dated has punched me in the face at one point like normal like sweet girls just fucking crack me in the jaw and I mock them. I put my chin out. I'm like I make them want to do it. It's a problem. ride them, needle them until they... Yeah, until they get violent with you. Then I get to have the high ground and be like, you hit me, I would never hit you. I just cheated on you a lot. In our bed.

I didn't wash the sheets. Yeah, but yeah, I went to... The second one was Universal Studios, which was awesome. Okay, interesting. And this before weed was legal everywhere. I mean, it was... I think it was, at that time in California. I think it was legal in California at that time.

I think so. But I was smoking a vape pen. I remember I was like in Universal Studios. My son's like five. He's like, you know, running all over the place. And there's like a Jurassic Park attraction. Some people who don't smoke weed, by the way, there's a thing called functional pothead. So don't think this is, like, on drugs.

No, no, I was a massive pothead. And I also never really hit it for myself. I don't smoke anymore. But I mean, like, you can handle everything on weed. No, 100%. Especially at that time, I was like, you know, all day, every day, taking dabs in the morning. Yes, I was talking, I spoke with Sagalow and he goes, you have a big tolerance to me. I'm like, I did.

I'm not in my fighting. gate days anymore. You don't smoke all day every day anymore? Yeah. But he does, so it's like, you got me now, buddy. Yeah, of course.

You know, I would get wildly wildly high now. I smoked when I was in Jamaica a few weeks I smoked in Europe last week. So what happened at Universal though? So there's a Jurassic Park the ride. Yeah. Which is a fun, like, old school one.

It's like one of the last old rides that are still there. And at the end, the big T-Rex comes out and it scares you. That's cool. But there's like people that, the employees that are in front of the ride, it's like, there's almost like a puppet.

like a dinosaur that they play with but it looks kind of like a real dinosaur and I'm fucking high I'm like this dinosaur's mad cool and she's got a fucking like you know a safari helmet on where it's just like would you even wear a safari if you were dealing

with dinosaurs she was like you're not an Africa this is dinosaurs and uh she has a mouthpiece and she's like so the fucking dilapidaptis DeSaurus whatever she's giving facts and shit

and I'm like there's a big blowin a big cladosporus with her kids everywhere and then uh she goes into the microphone she goes sir not here and I was like oh sorry I was embarrassed but uh yeah that that was a fun one right we took him to uh Hollywood the diner uh what's the fucking diner uh mills like old school the other melzo not the one by the comedy story the other one

yeah yeah very old school vibes took them to the walker family did all the touristy stuff for a little kid you want to they want to see those things and are you going like i got to do this for him or you go like i also will get some I get enjoyment out of watching him be excited about shit me and Nick Thune were co-headlining a show in Toronto and I saw a guy go like this go you know the smoke just starts kind of like I looked at a few times like he's smoking and breathing it into your chest and the guy goes shut up narc like remember we were in college you would take a hit of weed and then you had a paper towel roll with fucking dryer sheets in it blow through this you blow through it and it's still it stinks there's pot smoke everywhere and you're like oh no no this is this is how you do it it doesn't smell. It definitely smells just like weed. Yeah. Because it's weed smoke. I'm banned from Sunni Onianta to this day. A lifetime

band from the campus. That's where Renizzi went. I never went there. I went to go buy acid and visit my friends up there and we were smoking through a thing. The RA came at like 11. It was like guys you got to stop smoking. We're like, oh cool put more dryer shoots in it.

We kept on smoking. They called the cops on us. I was tripping on acid. at this point. The cops come and I just pretended to be asleep on acid, like in the chair, like I'm melting into the chair. I'm like trying not to crack up, like losing my mind. And the cops raided the entire dorm.

They felt they were growing weed. This is all happening around me while I'm tripping on acid with like just pretending to be asleep. The cops went into my wallet, took out my ID. It's so funny, like pretending to be asleep, like, shosh. It's like, buddy, we're making enough noise that even if you were asleep,

you definitely would have woken up. I have no idea why these cops didn't just wake me up but they literally took my idea and banned me they they put my information down they're like he's banned from here he can't be on the campus anymore my friend got kicked out of school no yeah two of the guys that lived in the norm got kicked out of school no yeah it was insane only Sunni on the best never were soon you know that's that um do you ever worry about danger with with James when I took him to Jamaica a couple years ago um there was like we

didn't have a beach we were in a villa that was like off these like rocks and it was like really like aggressive like waves that were like coming to you jump it you jump you'd cliff dive off these rocks but it was like crashing into the rocks and uh i did it and my sister did it and you know but it was like pretty hard to get to the fucking thing and james is maybe yeah seven years old at this time and i remember like i'm encouraging him to do it because i don't want my son to be a pussy but then i'm going like he's definitely going to drown and it was this weird like line that it's so funny like you just any other person like no he's not doing that there's no fucking way but like I was so good he didn't he ended up he didn't end up jumping but like I was

kind of like pushing him into it and I was like my whole plan was I'm gonna just jump in and drown both of us that was gonna be the way it ended I love seeing those videos somebody like let me go help him like it's heavy waves oh yeah no it's terrible you you you're not supposed to do that like yes apparently like if you if somebody's drowning and you jump in to try to save them if they're the the survival instinct will be they'll pull you down and drown you with them. Whoa. So you gotta like you have to have like a fucking train. Oh really?

Yeah, you gotta have a thing. But that was like at one time where I was like really scared where I was like what was I thinking? Like why was he gonna let him do that? That was a crazy thing. I don't really take him like dangerous places for the most part. I know but that's what I'd be concerned with where it's like like you ever think about bringing a chick for like India and you're like getting Central? Yeah. And you're like well it's only a smart

parts of like I don't need to take the chance. Yeah I'm not bringing my chicks for her to watch me somebody. This is crazy with friends they can do it at home i'm trying to fucking chick on a bus right now um yeah but uh i've you know i've never he wants to he he's not like adventurous like that he doesn't want to do anything he's a responsible kid he's a kid who'll be like no dad that's dangerous we're not doing that um oh yeah he talks you down yeah he talks me down you really have trained him how to not give weight of peer pressure he's a better person yeah he's a better person than i ever was you know where's our where's our third trip okay where else you go out of the country

italy went to italy that's way later yeah he was maybe he was eight at the time Puerto Rico um walk of fame Puerto Rico Hollywood then Jamaica then no we never did a father son in Jamaica by ourselves it's always the family right we did so you take him just you and him just me and him somewhere every year. This is reminding me right now of, in that picture on the left there, the Galapagos. Yeah.

There was some mom who took her kid to Galapagos. She had cancer. She got over it. And then she was like, I'm going to take each of you going to trip. Where do you want to go? This kid was all in the sea lions. It was his main thing.

All he did was give stats. He was like 10, 12 years old. You know, those nerds are like telling her everything. I'm like, it was cute. And then it became uncute. I've been trying to see a seahorse for maybe a decade. A seahorse. Yeah.

Like a little... They're pretty rare. But I've been trying to see one in like the wild. Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, hey, they're around here. And you're like, okay, cool. On an island that's shaped like a seahorse, it's crazy.

Wow. Yeah. And so you finally... I found one. And I'm like, oh. And they're like, hey, if you see one, don't kick up any soot, whatever. And this is call him, let's call him Billy or whatever. And he comes over with this stupid fucking flower.

I just ruined the whole. fucking thing have some fucking respect do you ever worry about that ruining everyone else's time uh i mean not him once again like he's a good kid he's not going he's just not that kid let's see oh it does look like a seahorse it's not crazy and there's seahors is all around there yeah it's like all in here whatever there's like i forget where we were maybe there urbina bay but it was like that it was so nutty we went to our third trip was uh we went to Myrtle Beach Okay

Which is you know Trashbag Central Yeah But we went to One of those tiger petting zoos Really? To pet baby tigers

From Tiger King It was the guy That had all the girlfriends What's his name? Murtle Beach Tiger Safari Yeah Yeah He's in jail now

I think the guy who owns it Really? Yeah for like tax evasion This is what you did This shit? Dude that was all Awesome. You gotta have pictures of that.

Yeah. Oh, send me those. Well, not right now, but we're showing to me, but whatever. Yeah, no, we pet baby tigers. Yeah. Let me see if I got them in this phone. Oh, my God, dude. It wasn't just tigers, dude.

It was everything. It was chimpanzees. They had a giant dude. We were sitting in like a gazebo thing. And then out of nowhere, you saw a fucking big old fucking, oh, no, I don't trust you. You see a what? You see a giant arm come from.

giant arm come from the like under the roof and like the arm comes in it's like a human size arm and this big old fucking ape like caesar from planet leaps comes down it's just like oh and it was just so it felt dangerous no really yeah yeah damn i don't know what's happening it's okay i'll show you other pictures wow do they ever get attacked do people ever get attacked i don't think so i mean didn't i think one person at that in the tiger king documentary didn't she get her arm bit off by a tiger Yeah. That happened. Yeah.

And then she kept working there. I mean, he was so happy, dude. That's the thing you would do with a kid. And honestly, you know there's some trips you can only take with a chick because you're like, it's too kind of like lame to do alone. But you do like it. Yeah. It seems like there'd be a bunch of stuff you could do with James that you wouldn't do on your own, but that does also rule. Like this.

This was, dude, it was so, it was like a once in a lifetime life-changing event. They don't have any of the pictures of the Tigers in here. have like the package at home okay see if I just type in tiger maybe it'll come up tiger oh yeah there they are look at these little guys look at these little guys oh oh oh do they like gnaw you and stuff they yeah they play they're they're fucking do they're look at this monkey looking right on my fucking face a different type of monkey I don't even know what type of monkey it is like a howler maybe I know look I mean look at you look at look look how looking at look look how

at my face you're so happy look how happy i am right in this picture you're very happy yeah dude it was it was really it was super expensive i mean i think it was like 500 dollars a ticket or something like that to go to this thing but it's like they give you you're in a small group of like they murder them after they're like yeah you're too big yeah once they get to like uh they ran away they all of a sudden these tigers disappear they ran over like we would notice if they ran yeah it's but you know what dude if they told me at the end of it they shoot a baby tiger in the head i would still make i'd say you know it's worth it because you had a good time we had such a good time i mean it's memory that he'll never forget i got to bring my niece as i'm talking about it now i'm like i really got to bring

my niece to the tiger tiger exhibit they had fucking uh ligers like half lion half tigers they had fucking um just i mean hawks they had like trained hawks that were eating mice in front of us just fucking swooping down it was just a really cool imagine going to a zoo and you got to like with the animals it's really immoral by the way i've seen that live in tomkins there's a hawk oh yeah yeah tomah and uh and um and uh we see it kill and squirrel sometimes like ripping him apart nice and then everyone's gathered around he doesn't care he just like yeah he rips flesh off so cool so cool so cool but that was one of the that was a really cool trip um just once again once in a lifetime experience he just really like i mean depending a baby type of

they come into your legs and you put you put your legs down they come into your lap you have little toys to play with them with and they're fucking just like dogs little powerful little kittens but they're fucking big and fat and strong really cool and they're just like they don't have the teeth no they have teeth so they just don't bite they tell you not to put your hands in their mouth because it'll just like rip it off you tear your hands off cut a vein I didn't listen um wow that was uh that was a really cool experience and he loved it he really like he fucking loved that so much but the monkeys were the coolest part of it dude having the champion you're just

sitting in your lab looking up and he's going oh I'll tell you we went to Costa Rica I might be skipping one here okay yeah you don't remember we did Costa Rica it's not a chronological podcast and we did our hotel I do this hotel was fucking dope where it was in Costa Rica R&L no I don't remember where look up different places in Costa Rica and I'll tell you where was it was I've been to Costa Rica twice now and this hotel was like it wasn't even expensive dude it was maybe 200 bucks a night yeah and um so the coastline Costa rica most of the coastline stays preserved they won't build anything like actually on the on the beach really

they're all up like up hills you're like walk like a quarter mile down to like that's right the hike goes like this and you go through and there's monkeys and sloths and then you're suddenly you're on a fucking you're on a beach like a beautiful untouched beach it's like gorgeous it really is a pretty country is one of my favorite countries and um our hotel was like in the trees essentially and every day at 3 p.m these monkeys these little fucking um what do they call them capuchin monkeys okay they would come they knew that tourists would feed them so they would come down from the trees and our dude our balcony i'm gonna show you dude yeah our balcony was covered with capuchin monkeys we give them sugar packets that's what they wanted they didn't want fruit

you give them fruit they'd be fine but you give them a sugar packet i can get fruit Dude, I'm going to show you When I show you how crazy these monkeys were Hold on, let's see I live in trees Obviously I can get fruit, you idiot All right, here, let's see We took surfing lessons

We rented jet skis Went deep sea fishing I mean really So you really made a decision If I can make him worldly Let me see we got it Give me give me They're right on the porch

They're right at the porch They're right in the port Oh, he's got his baby on his back. Oh, they're up there. Dude, they start descending like Planet of the Apes, too. Oh, my God, they're looking down on you. Whoa. Do they ever attack?

No, because they know they're going to attack it doesn't make any sense. They're like chill, bro. And you turn into like, I'm like, hello little monkeys. You turn into a chick so quickly when you're dealing with these cute fucking animals. Look at these guys. I'll send you this video. You've got to send me all the ones you're talking about. Look at this.

Hit a banana. James 7, you're cute. I love you. How sweet it? Listen to my son. How cute is that? They jump into the gym. There was howler monkeys.

There was a bunch of, dude, it was really. Wow, wait. Let me see. No. this was like this was really cool dude and this place was like 200 bucks a night wow look at the nature right out there yeah it was awesome i mean the edge of this hotel is just like in the end of the fucking world it's in the jungle it really is yeah and it was just a normal hotel just hold it hold it up and it just comes and they just take it right out of your hand

they're so cute dude they're sloths they just walk around all slow like idiots he just takes it and he's like yeah yeah he goes away sloths are pretty cool huh sloths are super cool but apparently they carry like a thousand different types of bugs on them so you can't have around you can't fit around rotten bananas it just sees it goes all the way oh oh give some to your kid bro See what a faggy sound like. You putting these in folders for me? Yeah, I'll remember.

I will remember. All of them? Oh. And the tigers and everything? Yeah, I'll send you everything. Okay. We took surfing lessons on the beach. That was kind of scary, too, because I've been injured surfing before.

Yeah, it rolls you. Dude, I went surfing with Lance Weiss, who's a comedian from New York, and funny dude. And this is years ago. It was in Queens. We went surfing, actually. You have no hand? No. That the guy with no hand?

No, he's got a hand. No balls? Maybe it's no balls. We went surfing in Queens, because apparently Queen surfing is like incredible. Rockaway? No. Yeah, Rockaway, yeah. They say it's like great, like really, really great.

They say, but. I'm saying people that know surfing, they say that. Right. And I had only been surfing one other time. I was surfing in Puerto Rico with my ex-girlfriend years before. And we took a serve lesson. Some dude was on Coke, just giving us a surf lesson. He was trying to fuck my girlfriend the whole time.

And you're like, use it. Use it. so but I went surfing with him and have you been surfing you have yeah I learned in Ecuador so there's two there's there's there's two if you're never been surfing before the waves come crashing down you got to get you have to get out to where the waves are breaking right so that's where it's really hard it's physically demanding you got to get on the board get out there to get out there is hard by the time you're into the area where the waves are breaking you're really tired it's just such a very and I'm like a great

swimmer sit there for a while ago yeah and so what happens is when you're when you're going out there there's two there's two like techniques you use right so the first is as you're going as the waves are coming over your head you can throw the board behind you it's tied to your leg and dive under the wave and come up on the other side of it and the board will come up and start swimming on your board again then when a big wave comes you throw it back again you dive under you can kind of drag it out behind you right or they do something called turtling where you hold onto the board the wave comes across you turn the board over and the wave will go over the board and you pop back up, right?

Which is like a little more of an advanced way. Cool. So what I did is instead of doing either one of those, I just looked at the wave and screamed. And I was like, ah! And I was holding on the board like this. The wave came, and then while it was in my arms, it spun the board clockwise like this,

and it dislocated my shoulder, right? To this day, I've fucked up sure. I can't put my shoulder all the way back. And my shoulder literally popped out under the water. I'm trying to, now my board's being thrown everywhere. I got one arm all. fucked up and I can't swim I was like dude this is it I'm gonna fucking die and I try to do that you know I heard click in my shoulder and then eventually the the waves

were hitting me so hard it kind of just popped my shoulder back into place and then I swam back to the shore but that was maybe my closest to dying experience in my life oh yeah that was terrible so anyway my let my son surf okay Surfing so fun. You ever do this one where you're like paddling and you're like, you know, paddling to stand up? You're like, I'm not going fast enough. You're like, I can't buggy those.

Oh, yeah. And you just like stay in your knees and go the whole way. I can't even stand. I think I've stood up for a total of half a second on the board before I just crash and fall. My son was actually pretty good at it. Here, I think I have videos of him surfing. Really?

Oh, yeah. I do write all these down. Yeah, let's see. I got videos of him surfing. They should have a toe out there. Yeah, they do. Just like a ski thing where you see those big, like, those crazy ones where it's like the biggest waves ever surfed in like Portugal and yeah it'll

be a person that's towing you on a jet ski and then they bring you out to the wave and then these guys just ride it that's not what I'm saying I'm saying like you've been skiing your big ski ski nut now yeah I'm saying like ski lift that big tower way out there hold on your rope and just have to take you out there just drop you off and then just get off and then you swim sideways on your board yeah it'll be so much better than every time a wave coming you got to be in such Can I make it off this, please? Yeah, you would think you're just like standing on a board, but it's like you have to... That's how they're shredded and that's how they steal your chicks.

Shredded, dude. Because they look great. Oh, they're so hot. Tan. Surfers are fucking gorgeous. What a hot dude. It's like that, it's like that sandy colored hair. Yeah.

Surf chicks are pretty hot, too, to be honest. Surf chicks are pretty hot. Even the one arm one. Just, athletic bitches just in general. No matter what they're doing, jujitsu, surfing, fucking wilder bitches. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Sporty Spice was the grossest of the spice girl.

Spice Who's the grossest The question's obvious To be honest But who's the grossest Sex in the City? I think fucking the main bitch She looks like

She looks like a monster More than the redhead Are you trying to be interesting Or you actually believe that? The redhead was actually Aesthetically more pleasing You were looking at What's your name?

Or whatever her name is The actress Yeah Her face is harsh It's terrible It's a really terrible In certain lights you get it where you're like oh it's worse than it was yesterday that we were all tricked when

we were kids because she was the hot witch and uh hocus pocus but as she was saying next to bet midler and that other fat bitch that's right so she was hot compared to them and we convinced ourselves that she was hot but if you really look at her she's not attractive did deliberately make Miranda ugly mara i don't think Miranda was that ugly she was like kind of dykey looking and like didn't she try to like one for politics or something she did I think either like But if you actually look at like her face, it was, you know, it was, she's pretty enough. She was like a weird fucking dyke-looking bitch. Yeah.

She's the only character that makes sense to me because later in the new ones, she's like, oh, I'm actually lesbian. And you're like, that's why you were such a bitch to everybody. Is there a new sex in the city? Yeah. It's a new show, right? Just like that. And just like that. And just like that it's called.

I wonder why they made a new name. That's made a contract thing. I have a storytelling show come out that is unrelated to this not happening. It's called The End. And it's coming in, I don't know, probably March. but it's completely unrelated because it's a different name yeah it's a different name different location so if you love that show you might like this but it's unrelated i gave jay great crowdwork album name because i was going to do a crowdwork album then i was like you know what i was

like let the guys that do crowdwork pretty well like we all do you know you're comedians but jay's a master but jay's a master at it and i gave him the best name for a crowdwork album album and what is it all jokes aside Great name That is That's a great crowdwork album name That is And he was like no they them I was like all right Jay

You're like you're like 13 years too late On this they then This conversation No one's like my pronouns anymore We all thought about it We actually don't use pronouns In our normal life at all Nobody gives a shit

I was talking to Norman about it today With that thing of like Yeah but if you call them the wrong pronoun They get mad They tell me one time They don't really Tell me one time. They might just go, it's day.

That was like, it was, it was during, like, Trump's rise the first time where that was, like, a big thing. They all get mad of you. I'm like, oh, yeah, they do. And you're like, nobody really gives a joke. It's also like, I've never had a chick go. Do I look fat in these jeans? Yeah.

It's like, these are like stereotypes of situations that we're all arguing about. Yeah, it's not real. None of it's real. All jokes aside. I will say, I'll give it up for the Jay right now, the Jay man. You probably still on tour in 2026. Big Jay? You?

Me? Oh, yeah, I'm in tour in 2226. Your tour name is the best tour name I've ever heard. Bring five friends? Bring five friends. Hell yeah. You think I'd sell out more shows? I'm coming everywhere.

It was a good one. But bring five friends. I'll tell you the name of my new special because it'll be out of this line. It doesn't have friends. The amount of single fat dudes sitting there picking their nose while they watch me. I asked all my friends.

They were one. He couldn't come. I'll tell you the name of my next special, which I'm filming in a month and it'll be out at this sign. You're probably months ago, you mean? It's out today. It's been out for a while.

No, no, it's out. It came out this week. It came up within six days of this podcast release. Either two day or... Are you going to release this when my special comes out? Oh, I love you. Yeah. I was going to come out in like probably September, October.

Do it in January, February. No, no. Let's move this up. We'll move it up. Okay, you just got out of 2026, buddy. Brand new special. Back in the line. Brand new special.

Verzi. it's going to be called what's my thing coming out i'm like dude it's not it's going to be a long time you're going to be dead when this comes out i can't wait to release a dead person's podcast um it's going to be called no one's coming out next week the other side the other side louis shagon is the other side why would that i was going to name a comedy club why would that be a good title because it was where the chicken was trying to go when he crossed the road it's the first punchline not bad and then my next now i'm just doing like classic punchlines from kids jokes so i want to name one right let me think about

let me think about a guess one before you tell me because i definitely won't be able to i only have two other names my my my next three specials are already named it's all i got it's all i got what else nacho cheese nach cheese and seven eight nine why did the monkey follow the tree why because it was dead you have to be only sickos like that that was my time when i was a kid those are my types of jokes oh yeah six seven eight nine what was uh what's purple what's purple and orange and lays at the bottom of a swimming pool what a baby with popped swimmies with what a baby with popped swimmies it's dark yeah there's all the black ones too what we call a white guy with five black guys

what coach and it's like what we call a black guy who flies an airplane what a pilot you racist here's what i heard on a hike some guy some random came by me he's an old man with like you know that gray hair ponytail nothing on top which i'll hopefully be he's like uh it's nice day out i'm sure as he goes hey what do the drummer call his two twin daughters i was like what and a one and a two that's good i like it's cute then he just walked on well anyway closer rick it was great okay okay the monkeys once as i'm watching the pictures you're gonna was like oh that was a crazy trip the monkeys coming to our room every day That was literally three o'clock.

So that's your room And that's a porch right off your room Those are all rooms up there? Yeah, yeah And then when I was in Costa Rica Wait same time every day Same time every day Like they're migrating through

Wow They knew to come out And they would all descend At 3 p.m. every day Then another time I was in Costa Rica I was in my room And they were like You gotta lock the doors

Because the raccoons Will open the door To come and get your snacks And I was like shut up Raccoons aren't opening my door You dumb Costa Ricans I'm from New York And then sure enough

Dude middle of the night I heard it sounded like I was being robbed So I thought it was more Costa Ricans. I was like, there's Costa Ricans in the room. And I turned the lights on. There was three giant raccoons. They had opened the door and they were just going, like literally opening up bags of chips and candy off of the counter. It was wild.

So, so cute as well. Raccoons are adorable. Raccoons have adorable hands. You have a little raccoon hands, a little black hands. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah, that's really funny.

But, yeah, and then that time in Costa Rica, too, I, uh, there was a little bit. It was an outdoor gym, which was pretty sick. It was like on the beach. And it was like out of Gilligan's Island. You were like lifting coconuts and like wood stumps and shit. Really? It was really fun. Oh, my God.

I wonder if I have pictures. Yeah, you got to have that for sure. I have to have that. Is photographing stuff more important or same or whatever when you're with your child? I do it with my child because I want him to have the photos. I don't, when I'm by myself, I rarely take pictures of shit like that. I only, you know, in Mexico, I took like pictures of my chick, It was like very few.

I think, look at this. This is, these are the weights. That's so rustic. Yeah, they're like just like trees. And like. Yeah. Look, this is me fucking lifting weights.

Just tree stumps. It really doesn't like Gila Gonzalez. It is just carved tree stumps. Yeah, yeah. It was fun. Very cool. That's cool. How do you pick these places?

Um, I get a, someone I'll mention it. I like, I want to go there. Like, I really want to go to, Spain as well I was talking to some dude

actually one of the guys trying to help me make Skangfest Mexico happen he's like the promoter that does these big like massive events like resorts he did like tool and deaf tones and a bunch of other like big bands that specifically at a resort yeah he told me about this restaurant that's the number one restaurant

right now like in the world it was voted like number one out of everything in Barcelona yeah it's in Barcelona yeah and it's just like super crazy gastro science shit and he was like yeah he was like did you got to make a reservation like a year in advance he was like that's how you like get in so i'm gonna just that's a trip i'm gonna do i'm i'm gonna go i want to go to that restaurant and i want to you know what you got to do since you have the leeway and the

time to do it is make the reservation then make the flight yeah that's how people go to the mothership too then they keep trying for reservations and when they get it they're like all right we're going to austin number one restaurant in the world is called disfrutar in barcelona enjoy disfurtar enjoy enjoy Is that what it means? Ooh. This episode is brought to you by Duolingo. If you want to learn Spanish, but very, very slowly, look no further than Duolingo.

I'm excited about that as well. I mean, we do a family vacation every year. That's why I'm actually combining my son, my summer trip was usually with my son by herself every year. But my family, my aunt's never been to Italy. How do you make time for this? For your trips to their son? I mean, you know, you make time.

know this is important but everyone in our industry you know everyone in our industry says i have no time well we hear they're liars so everyone most people if you get to a certain level in comedy you're making enough money that you can kind of do what you want to do so all this like bullshit like not available for skank fest like i know how this works because i'm not rich and i know that if i want to take a weekend or move a weekend you can i can't i'm in charge of my shit i'm my own boss i can move whatever fucking weekend i want to move it doesn't matter if you a few months out even if you're two weeks out from a gig you can move it like it's really like well Well, yeah, you can't, that's what, it's not ideal.

I can say who, but like, someone does it all the time. Tim Dillon. Don't buy Tim Dillon tickets. You're probably not going to see him. I mean, you'll get a refund. But when Tim Dill says, I'm seeing Tim Dillon in two weeks, like, I think. Maybe, possibly. But anyone else, you're like, well, I'm making money that week.

Like, change that date. Make that money on a different date. Well, this is why we get so many incredible comics at Skankfuss. We can't afford to pay people what their weekend rate is. we'd be able to afford five comics for the name the level of guys that come to skank fest um but we create an environment where people want to come it's fun and it's really fun and they you know the fans are so like appreciative and you know you kind of fan be like everyone was too drunk when they perform we're like I know I know but it's like we can we you know we you know we get everybody because they go I'll just take the weekend off I'll make you know a one tenth of what I would normally make on on the road on the weekend so in New York we all rooting for New York because it was like now it's a It's easy. Stay home. It's easy.

I can like actually deal with this guy for it. We're talking about Amsterdam maybe next year. How fun would that be? Stankfest Amsterdam. London? We talked about London. It's expensive. It's expensive, but that's not even the issue.

Why don't know the issue? I don't know the issue. I'm trying to offer. No, no, I'll tell you the issue. It's the similar issue with New York, it's like you, in order to get a venue big enough to sort of house it where you have five, six different rooms and you're popping all over. You have to sort of go out to like the, like, New York. we have to be battling Queens like on the docks or like warehouses and shit right we found a place in Queens that was incredible called knockout center it was like really cool oh oh I've been there great drugs there great venue inside outside yeah that that dilapidated place out there perfect for drugs it's literally perfect for Skank Fest but the reality is well they denied our proposal but regardless even if they wanted to do it there once the end of the night comes now how are you getting an Uber where are you going you're in the middle of nowhere it's really nowhere Vegas spoiled

everybody to the point where it's like as soon as you get out, but not only walk back, you're, Vegas is just getting going. When the shows are over, like it's just getting started in Vegas. It's like you were right there, you're like, we're already, let's go to it. So this is that New Orleans is going to be. New Orleans

is like, it's just fucking you're really bothering me that you're not coming. You really bother me. And I think that there's a path for you to figure out a way to get back. There is. If, you remember in Lost where they took a little thing down and they were suddenly in another place? You know? Oh, yeah, dude, if there is one, there's a path.

You can find a flight back for a couple of days to New Orleans. This is crazy. I'm going to be like here. So what? I can't just like jump to there. It's crazy. What if we did Skank Fest, Niger? The most mispronounced Skangfest of all time.

Michael Che would be like, dude, you know I can't come. I would anywhere else, but I'll get called that so many times. Oh, shit. When Ms. Pat was going to do Allegiance, she goes, I won't do that. They're going to call me the N-word. I'm like, no, they're not, Ms. Pat. You have a misunderstanding. They're going to call you what's justified to call someone else that.

She did it. Yeah, there's just no way. I'm going to be able to be near an airport and know I'm going to be near an airport within days of that. Or maybe, but if you end up the week before near an airport, would you consider still coming? Nah, I'm not going to get out of vacation mode. It's Norlands. I'm on sabbatical. I'm not going to get out of the airport.

even perform what if you do what stand hope does every year stand up's performing this year he's actually just fucking common party don't even perform i'll be in party mode i'll be on sabbatical i love to trust me this is one there's a few things that are really torturing about this trip that is one of a missing skank fest you know i'm you've been to everyone and you're like i've announced multiple you are you are you are you know you're like the fourth missing member of a legion of skanks i am the president of you're the president not for long though we might have to fucking hold another We might be, we're molded an election at Skankfest. That's smart.

You should. Yeah. People are saying Tim Butterley, but he's moving to Austin. I feel like you can't. No, once you move to Austin, you can get yourself. Yeah. No, yeah. I love the Amsterdam idea.

Amsterdam would be incredible. And there's already some venues that I've looked at that could work. Also, there's a train like this is like, you? Well, you gotta figure the amount of people that live in Europe that would come. So when are you moving to London? Sloss would come. What? When are you moving to London?

When I get back from this trip. So it's definitely happening. London's my favorite city Not 100% As long as I get the visa If I don't Is my favorite city To performing

Okay It's just as It reminds me in New York Right Nobody Nobody's uptight I mean my fans Come out that

On uptight It's our fans It's a different thing They're like How was those I was over But they're so energetic They're so happy

That you're there So it might be different You know what I'm saying If you're going And performing It just There's some annoying College age

College attitude people but I think they're just like we're down to drink and have a good time. Yeah. That's all they want to do is they want to have a good time. They want to smoke weed. They want to drink. They want to take a pay. But they're also not they're not as handsy as like American fans. A lot of American fans like they like touch you and they like grab it you and shit. You're like guys, I'm not a beetle. Stop touching me.

What are you doing? But the British fans are fucking. I was just there last week. I did a run in Amsterdam, Dublin, Manchester, London and Glasgow. It's not definite. The problems are, well, we'll talk off here. This is not a podcast for It sort of is. How do you get all the comics out there?

Fly them out. It's only seven hour flight. Expensive though. Is it that much? Is it that much more expensive? It'll be a little, travel's a little more expensive. You figure out ways to save money.

It's just fitting the puzzle pieces together. You know? Amsterdam is the, no offense to Berlin, the number one comedy scene in Europe. Amsterdam's an awesome, awesome comedy scene. Really awesome comedy scene. And I, my shows there were in incredible.

Their house shows sell out. Here's the thing. It's not even the fans in Amsterdam. Everybody from the UK would come. Everybody from Ireland would come. And in America would come. It's a chance to smoke weed. Half the people that are in America would come.

Weed's legal. Hookers are legal. Bars are open crazy late. Oh my God. DeRos will get there early. But it really is like when you're talking about like Vegas set a different standard for what Skank Fest is. You need a town where people can go and party all night.

It's why New Orleans really works, but how many places like that are in the world where it's like, it's not shutting down. Close and we. That's about it. Where? That's the little dumb dumb club one. But that's a rare thing, and no one's going out there.

It's okay from Australia to go there, but that's it. They're Australian. But yeah, Amsterdam. Amsterdam would really work. Where else you go with your kid? I love this idea, by the way. Vegas was actually one of my favorite trips

I ever done with my son. We went last year. We planned everything out. It was, people are like, you're bringing a kid to Vegas, you're crazy. It's like, first of all, I don't give a shit about gambling. Also, everybody's there with their kid. Everyone's there with a kid about Vegas. We are at 2.30 in the morning, somebody's with a stroller, tanked up.

It's a little crazy. It's like, ew, dude. No, we just had a, we had a great time. Penn and Teller show was so fucking cool. Have you seen Penn and Teller show? Who won? Who won, who won, who won, who won? Penn or Teller.

They don't compete. We got to hang out with them backstage afterwards. Yeah. Teller talked. That was infuriating. I was like, what are you doing? My son's here. my son's fucking here man

but they were wildly good they were funny and the magic was incredible it was like my son's like a nerd like me he's into magic and he like he just like he was blown away uh serk de salei was fucking awesome was a little gay but still really fun and funny and unique just like

super athletic people that are involved with that show um the food's fucking great brought him a sushi samba brought him to hell's kitchen which these are all touristy spots but it's just really high quality delicious food went to uh Also, Vegas is for the touristy thing. Of course.

You're not really going for the local experience. What's that diamond? You really did sell me on villas. We were like, I'm not looking to get Jamaican culture. I'm looking to get a relaxation. Yeah, I'm trying to just chill on my own private little slice of land. Rick Viles was like, I want to go to a place and stay there for 18 straight days. Yeah.

I don't want to go see sites. I want to just pull up and become home relaxed. Yeah. That's what Vegas is supposed to be. And then I start to, as I've gotten older now, I don't need to go anywhere crazy for. The queen doesn't go from spot to spot. She stays on a boat or in a fucking castle somewhere. You can just do that.

You could literally rent an Airbnb in Connecticut and just have an incredible time. Steakish. Eat some good food. You can fucking, you know, just have it, like, have a spot. That's what I'm trying to do with my house right now. Like, I want to make the backyard. I want to just, I want to fix up a couple little things. The pool's great.

But I want to make it to where, like, I never want to leave. Right. Well, that actually sucks. And that's what's killing the whole friendship group here. what everyone's moving jersey getting homes and going like oh come over come over like no one's going your guys aren't even going to your own places you're going once so fucking far come over i have this great spot where i hang out all the time oh no i have also a great spot where i hang out all the time yeah but at this point jersey's in a bathroom jersey is get in there dude what do you mean me big j

dave how far do you live from jay 10 minutes how far you live from j Dave day lives far 50 minutes 5-0 5-0 yeah Dave doesn't drive He takes $200 Ubers in every night. Why doesn't Dave drive? Because he's a fucking city kid. He's a chick. He's a chick. All right.

So let's keep going on this. Italy. Italy was my favorite place I've ever been. And that's why I'm going back with the family. I'm bringing my... And you took James there? I took James there. Just me and him.

We went to Rome for three nights initially and we went to Cinque Tere for four nights. What is that? It's called Chinquateras Five Towns. And it's essentially like kind of like a multifevales. coast chinkwa sinkua yeah hair it down i think yeah it's just applied to spanish i guess but it's kind it looks kind of like uh pulpit quix what's how beautiful it is we sit at monoroso del mar yeah um delmar means of the beach yeah there was a beach it was it was fucking so cool first of all girls had their tities out really all these girls have their tithes james was like pretending to not look

but he would just like always be gazing in that direction yeah look at are you out of your mind are you crazy that looks so dude it's beautiful beautiful and there's five different towns this was this is mona rosa no no it's a real major pull up monoroso is the one below it they're all colorful buildings like every building is really colorful what the bernata how do you know because it says it up there

montserosa there is well that one's ugly that they're making it look like it's the shittiest one it's fucking incredible what is it monta rosa del mar or almar or almar wow i mean it was just dude it was incredible so rome is great you've been to rome obviously no stop it already

you never been to italy at all you know why it wasn't italy where we're at way way up here near the swiss border oh that sucks and near the austrian border oh that sucks no no no it's so much different than that type of it of Italy you hear about. But we hiked along the border.

We saw all these signs in the mountains. It's just in 1918, these little posts. And that's when they made the border. And they were, like, putting little stamps down. And we were walking in the Alps along. That's crazy. That's so pretty cool. Yeah, just a different thing.

And then my brother went from Switzerland. They had no snow one year. We were going to go skiing. It was like, fuck it. No. Let's go to Italy. You go, we drive. And then there's this place where you get on a train.

You drive onto a train, takes you through a mountain. You put your parking brake on, takes you through a mountain, then everyone gets off the train. The new cars get in, goes through a train. And it's like 45 minutes through a mountain on a train in your car. In your car. Yeah, they drive on. We did that.

We didn't, but people were doing that on, in, oh, in Greece. Really? Going to the islands. They were driving. That's adventurous. They drove their car onto the boat. Not a train, onto the boat. And then they floated their car on a boat like to the Greek islands.

A ferry. A ferry, yeah. Yeah, I did that. Wild. In some place. I'll tell. Yeah. But, so Rome, first of all, Rome, me and my son, we had a fucking blast in Rome.

Rome was like the first New York. It was the most advanced culture. It was like such a, I mean, such a cool fucking place. They figured out so much shit way before anybody else did, right? And we did a few tours. The coolest thing we did was the Vatican. We went to the... They didn't turn you away?

No, they loved me. For all you did? dude I started burning my skin sort of burning I know we had an incredible tour guide and the Vatican is the largest art museum in the world art bees in the world art museum and I'm not like an art museum guy what's the largest arby's the largest arby's in the world looking up right now it's in the vatican oh my god that'd be crazy Vatican city that's got to say colonial heights Virginia Wow

That has to be on your list of places to go visit It has to be In fact if anybody's there By now the stickers will be out The UB tripping stickers will be out Someone stick up a UB trippet sticker At the largest Arbys in the world

In Colonial Heights Virginia Dude but the Vatican was like We took a tour And it was just like every room It's got a barber coa station You would need a year to visit every like room It would like there's all the art Interesting so much incredible art

And just like our tour got just really understood it was like all how religious and tied into all of it and like It was just really really incredible. They had a room of maps where it was like these gigantic like an entire wall I would love it was I'm talking about like I'm talking to the entire like Pitholes in every rate like a hundred feet high 200 feet wide A map that was drawn and you know 500 years ago that was 99% accurate artists rendered it right like really like incredible shit They had I mean everything from sculptures to tapestries to paintings you know and then we went to the Sistine Chapel and James liked all this James loved it dude he was lit on it he loved the history you know just

learning about fucking Michelangelo and learning about like how they have an art program they at the Vatican they have an art program I mean that means some someone was curated oh yeah I mean dude it's it's it's a large I mean we're talking about it's not even close to like the next art museum is one one hundred the size of it that's what I know the way you're describing is like we went on a tour of the White House Shane we were there yeah for him for once And he was like, we were walking just to go to the tour. He goes, hold on, let me see if I can get a private.

And then he did. Yeah. I think he knows someone in the CIA. I think he's connected in some way. I don't know. But like, yeah, the art program is like they decide why certain things. They move porches over because I like staring at this guy. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, but it's not political. It's just historical. Just historical, yeah. But I mean, that was like, it was so cool. And, you know, just learning about the Pope and learning about how it all works. And, you know, it really brings it all to life, everything, you know. I didn't know they've. voted until this one got in.

Oh, yeah. I thought it was just some like... With the smoke, they have like, when they figure out, like, there's smoke billowing out of the top of the Vatican. Yeah. And, or like, one of the, you know, one of the basilis or whatever, they were basilicas, they call it. And when they change the smoke,

because, like, when they're deliberating, when they're not in session, it's a different color smoke. When they find out who the pope is, the smoke turns white and that's how everyone in Italy knows. The gender reveal? Yeah. How do they vote?

It was like, hey, I know somebody in Argentina that's like never parked a single bitch. Like, I guess all the, they have like a like a committee that votes on it. Did they like politic for it, you think? Did they push? Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah. But that was incredible.

And then the, the, the, um, Coliseum wasn't anywhere near as cool. We had a shitty tour guide. Yeah. This bitch was so boring. And like, there's just like a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of politics and parliament and like all this other shit. Where is it? And where?

Uh, the Coliseum. Okay. where they did the so we learned more about the coliseum and the better the better part of it which even if you don't have a kid i would fucking do this we took gladiator lessons which was like they they essentially taught you about the gladiator life and you like went for the day and lived as a gladiator they gave you meals like gladiators that'd be like wooden swords and fucking i'll show you that me and james uh in rome because that was like this was a this was a this was a life-changing experience oh let's see rome Wow, let me see. Yeah, let me see if I can find the video of us glad to your train. The food was fucking just incredible. We said at this hotel, dude, the entire basement was like a spa with steam rooms, saunas. Like just, it was like a castle essentially that we were in.

It was like such a beautiful hotel. Yeah. I mean, just like all like, look at that, look at that picture frame right there. How cool is that? Wow. Very beautiful. That's old. That's like colonial fucking shit.

So this is us actually. at the Coliseum. Hold on. This is us actually at the Coliseum. He's doing the I am Sparta kick, even though that's not appropriate. It's not Sparta. They're not Spartans.

That's gladiator. I was an idiot. I was like, kick me, James, I am Sparta. But I mean, we took some, like, oh, here. So this is the gladiator training. Let me see if I have the video. They put you in a fight at the end. You're ready.

Take up for me too. Come on. so fun that's so fun that's so fun wow you're giving it to him too lewis if you don't know does not have a 10% no this was like i mean so they would so the gladiators they didn't um they weren't trying to kill each other what do you mean like you know that whole um you know thumbs up thumbs down thing

that wasn't true that's all fake like in the movie Gladiator that's fake yeah because it was much closer to professional wrestling they would slice each other they would cut each other but typically the gladiators

had a lot of belly fat so you couldn't they get sliced but it would just show the blood they wouldn't actually cut their organs I'm sure there's some deaths no there was some deaths but if you

well he got you I suits you open yourself up the guy's like all right come on come on we put on a great show for everyone oh my yeah you're getting cheers yeah yeah that's great James was lit

I mean this was so much fun dude but they so it was like more like pro wrestling kind of yeah so they the gladiators would become like fucking and there was different types of gladiators so there's certain ones that had like the ball and chain there's certain weapons they use that was like famous they were like

oh that guy you know what their names for them but like oh that guy's coming out now so that was like the type of outfit they would wear the type of gladiator they were um and then they seems like this kind of yeah it's some soon it was like for wrestling it was like they had they had costumes they had and they would come out

and they would become famous and they were slaves but then you that part of it was real like you could get your freedom you could buy away your your your freedom once you got big enough but if you i owned you and you're my gladiator and some other gladiator kills you that gladiator's owner now owes me money for my gladiator so they were like they were not killing each other for the most part it did it did it did happen like but it wasn't like to the death that wasn't happening very often they get killed by animals so that they arrange these massive hunts right so they would turn the coliseum like literally they would bring in

like trees and make it like an african jungle you understand and rome at this time there's like obviously there's no tv or internet or anything like that so when they brought in a draft like people in rome were like it's like a space alien dude like what the fuck is a draft what is a rhinoceros like when you just imagine there was a space alien that came down it would be the equivalent of like seeing that you're seeing an elephant or you're seeing a fucking what's the one with the long neck that you're talking about the what the draft the what a draft spell that g-i-r-r-a-fffee why don't you pronounce the i giraffe giraffe you're like draff draft draft but like draft it's something apostrophe giraffe yeah there you go giraffe um but they would fill this from gladiator too they

showed it but they would really do that they would really do that when i saw that in the preview. I was like, no way. No, no, no. They really did that, dude. They'd have boat fights. They'd have wars. So, it was, you understand, like, so, also, you didn't have to pay for tickets to the Coliseum. It was just, like, the government just, they just made their money on soda and popcorn?

It's a drink minimum. The government would, you know, create these games, so they would get, it was like when the, the Gladiator, when the, when the games were going on, the Coliseum games were going on, it was like a way to, like, entertain their people and keep people seen. And so if you were rich,

If you were in government, you'd get, like, great seats. And then other people, the further back you were, like, kind of the poorer you were. But they would just give you free seats. And the games would go on sometimes for 30 days. It was, you know, three months sometimes. Just depending on, it would be every single day, there'd be games. You'd come out and watch it. But they would do hunts.

They would have animals fighting each other. They would, so the other cool thing was, like, the Coliseum, like, underneath it. Like, it looks all like dirt floor, but it's actually wood with dirt on top of it. And there's like, you know, when they pulled the chain And the line comes out from under the ground That was all real. They had pulley elevator systems So they would bring animals up

Like Sai coming out? What's Sai? Sai that Korean No, no, no. You never saw that? No. Cy's entrance? You know Sai?

Come on. Cy? Gangam style. Sy? You know Gangam style? No Gangom style? That's Sai. Oh, so he jumps out.

Yeah. Have you ever seen that? Yeah. You have. Okay, okay. Yeah, like that? Yes. But it was that, so we learned, we learned all this in this gladiota training program.

And they would taught you, like, their weapons they would use and like, and how, like, they would. What's the one with the big, the mace seems like, so unwieldy? Yeah. The big ball on a chain that you fucking clucked up. Just crack somebody in the head with. And how would that not kill somebody? They would do things where, um, they would like, uh, some of the war weapons that they would use. It wasn't like in the Coliseum, but like during, during war times, they would cover like, um, it was just like a thing that would,

lie on the ground like almost like a piece of what they would hide with spikes you'd step on it but they would cover it with their shit so when you stepped on it you would get poisoned by by human shit yeah yeah yeah but very like that that gladiator training was really cool so we did that for three days me and jams and what's gonna be days of gladiator training no we did three days of rome okay but every meal was better than the last i mean we're talking about like the best pasta the best pizza i lost weight well and all i was doing pasta pizza pizza and ice cream because it's not the same carbs that we have in America. It's like whatever they do with their gluten,

you don't feel like I have gluten intolerance yet. If I eat pasta and bread for a day and a half, I'll blow up and I'll feel slow. My ankles get fat. There I was just, it was fucking just the best food. Isn't that infuriating? You can eat like shit and lose weight in other countries.

There's something going on with the gluten and the bread here. I think it's the FDA saying poison them all. Of course. But I don't know what it is, but something's up. Or you can eat like shit in other countries. We took a train to Chinquitare, which we had for 40.

days we had on the beach how was the train it was awesome high-speed train cross Italy three four hours food cart shit like that food cart yeah I'm drinking wine I'm having a good time and I was smoking weed at the time but I couldn't get weed I didn't want to like go around and ask people because I'm with my kid but they would have um like 1% THC joints it was like 99% CBD they just sort of like yeah they kind of hit me mentally and that was I so I had those but Chiquateri we said in a little Airbnb like a five-minute walk from the beach in the old part of chinkway in the old part of monoroso and we would walk down to kind of the new part and it was all these smoking hot italian chicks on the beach with their tits out

it's out oh yeah like tits out yeah like tits out yeah james loved just so we're on oh yeah james love being a kid and seeing tits when he went to that eight or nine and you're just like yeah he was just like i was like to see it through his eyes too so hot so so so fun um and the the the mediterranean sea is just a different like he was very buoyant very salty um and we we literally every day we were supposed to go to the leaning tower pizza um because it was like another hour train ride and james just like i don't want to leave the beach he was like i don't really care about the the leaning tower pizza because that's all there was crazy as a kid that's the only thing i cared about yeah you're like oh i got to see the lean tower pizza but people told us we're like dude you're

going to literally go you're going to waste a half a day just to get the go cool they take a picture in front of it and that's that and the beach was so incredible we were eating calumari with just a little bit of lemon on it no sauce no stuff like that just fresh calamari on the beach every day drinking the best wine incredible pasta there was like two or three restaurants in the area we were at we just kept to go to the same places we didn't need to go anywhere else it was just great dude here

I'll show you the I'll show you the pictures from Cinque Teree can I just tell you something as you're looking this up yeah can you listen and look up at the same time Jordan Jensen came on this podcast and told me about Rome yeah and just took pictures like look here's this it was so yours was so exciting yeah hers was so boring that I'm not gonna air the episode What's you do in Rome?

She's just like, oh, we went to the Coliseo. She's like, here I didn't put you in front here. Here I was frumpy over here. It's like fucking gladiator training. Oh, here, look at this painting. Oh, okay, look at this one. I'm like, all right, get off your phone, Jordan. Yeah, dude, let me see if I get, so this is us in the actual ocean.

Wow, it does look. I mean, dude, it's gorgeous, dude. It's just an ice out. I mean, just incredible, like such an amazing experience. That's why I'm bringing the whole family back. So we're not doing Tinkwateria this time. My aunt's too old to... Do you ever...

Let me ask you a question. Do you ever... I look at the Sandcastle we built. What? Nice thing on my apartment. That's a cool sand castle. Yeah. Do you ever get this thing where you're like going back to a place?

Like, I already did it. I shouldn't go back. Or are you... I already know the answer, actually. Now that I say it. Or you're like, I love this place. I want to show other people. I like showing other people.

So it's the same thing. Like, I'll watch a movie or a TV show again to show somebody. to show somebody because I get excited about something that I really enjoyed or a nice restaurant I'll go back to I mean this literally

just us having cappuccino every day this is like a little playground that was there at night we would go to there there was other kids kids were always out to like two in the morning there

um do you ever think of doing this of starting a list of fun like restaurants and stuff you did so when somebody goes I'm going to to Italy go let me give you my list of Rex

I never thought about that look how beautiful one is at night dude damn that's like Tosa yeah I mean, it was really, really beautiful. Oh, the boats? Yeah.

And they're all covered? This is Italian as fuck. Dude, Italy, yeah, all the different colors or the... How's the seafood fresh probably? Incredible, dude. Like, dude, every meal I had in Italy was better than the last meal. It was so amazing. So this time we're doing Rome for three days.

I gotta show my aunt the Sistine Chapel. She grew up, you know, Italian Catholic in New York. So she's got to see the, you know, the Vatican. You see all the churches. Oh, it's fucking. I mean, so... Ham on bread? which is ham on bread yeah ham and cheese it's so good i mean incredible right yeah um and then

we're going to venice for four days and it's me my girlfriend my son's mother my son my sister my niece my brother-in-law and my aunt eight of us wow yeah yeah it's too much money too much money you're buying them all yeah it's you know it is once again it's the experiences you know what can i What can I do? Yeah. You know, I'm going to get my aunt, first of all, she's got, she's 87 years old. How many years does she have left? She has very few years left to travel.

You know, let's say she's got another 10 years in her, in best case scenario. Her having that memory, the kids having that memory with her, my aunt. Is her last chance, like, fuck in Italy, too. After this, like, she'll probably the drive will go down. Yes. But, yeah, Venice I'm excited about, and we're saying on Lido Beach, which is like 15 minutes away by water taxi from proper Venice. You've been to Venice before. No.

No, but we're going to go to Venice for a couple days and do, like, the, you know, the canals and, like, the boat tours and all that stuff. But we want to be on the beach. I think with the kids, it's easy to, like, just have something to always do. I heard recently that sometimes the water goes so far down that you just don't do the water taxis. It's only way that gets flooded. Yeah, I'm going in July, which is also, like, super hot, so hot when we go. Right. Still, that'll be cool as shit to go on that.

There's a few things that are, like, I don't care if it's too touristy. I want to do it. That's so cool. I want to see them. Oh, yeah. You gotta go, you gotta take the water taxis through the, the canals in Venice. It's a, it's, don't be an asshole is the, is the game. It's like, listen, I get, you don't want to do touristy stuff, but like, you're not going to go on the canals.

Well, also, it's an excuse. When you have kids, you have an excuse to do touristy shit, you know? And also, like, you know, like, I'm a fucking foodie and I travel and I like, you know, I like a specific sort of thing. But the family, we're, you know, we're trashed again. Do you research what restaurants to eat at or you just come across them? Are you saying you do the chat, GBT thing? But that's before, with your kid, you didn't have that. I just asked Ralph, if you ever want a recommendation of a restaurant,

I was just at the Hawksmoor, which is like the best steakhouse in New York. Ralph told me about the Brindle Room, closed and moved. No, best burger. Best burger. Yeah, it moved. That Brindle burger is fucking wild. Ralph told me about that. Hawksmore, if you want a great steak, I mean, the fucking, the pork bellies,

one of the best things I've ever had in my life, just period. H-A-W-K-S, Hawksmore, New York City, East 22nd. That's your meeting was? Yeah. Who was the meeting with? Don't worry about it. I'll tell you all fair. Okay.

It's not important, but. But it wasn't just a meal. It was a meeting slash meal. I don't care. It wasn't a date. It was. I'm marking it. Yeah, it was my partner for the coffee brand.

Oh, really? You're doing a coffee? It's a coffee brand with adaptogens in Neutropic, so it has Tonga Adelaide Ali. No, no, it's not. It's great. It boosts testosterone, so it has Tongat Ali, which naturally boosted testosterone. Oh, really? Yeah, my tea was low

And instead of poking a fucking needle In my ass like all of our asshole friends Like I'm doing it naturally Stop smoking weed Like no, you just gotta only get hotels With the refrigerators in them Because otherwise you can't Eat this like fucking cryogenic shit

It's insane, no, I was good I talked to my doctor about it And he was like dude You smoke weed every day You drink every day Yeah There's supplements you could take You could be lifting weights

So I just started doing all that stuff I stopped smoking weed I stop drinking De Rosa had the heart problems And they're like you gotta give up alcohol I goes what else you got And they go switch the stove tequila, I go, gotcha.

But anyway, I promise you the coffee, guys, Bodybraincoffee.com. I'll try it. I'll get you a bunch of it. Before I leave, I'll get it shipped to you. I mean. Before you leave, when are you leaving? I'll be gone when this comes out, but.

No, I'm saying how many more, you're a week or two? Month and a half, yeah. I'll get you a couple bags shipped to you. Okay. It's instant, it's freezer ride because you can't filter the supplements. Do you grind it? No, no, it's just in a little rip packet and you pour right into hot, water, cold water, or into a protein shake.

Yeah, I'll try it. Yeah, it tastes great, but it has, it has Tongat Ali, Lionsmane, Eshaganda, Altheanine. Okay. Sorry, I didn't want to cut you off. No, no, no, no, I mean, I'm doing a plug now from my coffee, but I'm, you know, I got a book coming out. I was about to move it, Pat, and I was like, wait, let him do his thing. No, I wasn't

going to have a book coming out? Yeah, that's why I wasn't going to tell you what was going to be. That's why story wars is happening? No, no, no, I'm going to give it away. We are going to give it away, but I do, yeah, I'm writing a book right now. Where'd you learn to write? So reading too now? You know, it's funny? I didn't, originally I was supposed to just do interviews with a co-writer, this guy, Johnny

Rousseau, and he got me the book deal. He was like, dude, it's like, it's published. It's like, it's not like I'm self-publishing a book. This is from a publishing house. And it's, and he was like, yeah, dude, he was like, I mean, you have crazy stories. Yeah, yeah. It's a bit, it's a memoir from my childhood. So it starts off with my first memory and my dad dying and it ends with my mom dying and

me finding comedy, right? So that's like just that. You know, comedy sort of saved me, right? And the whole story to how I got into it. But I was just telling him these stories and he was going to transcribe them. And then I was going to, like,

you know, punch him up and give a little bit more perspective. But then he was moving really slow on it. So then I started writing my own shit, dude. And I really like writing. I really like, I can't write a novel, but I could write my perspective and my voice.

You know what I'm saying? And you have an editor helping you punch it together and make it visible? Now he sends me shit And then I just re-edit everything that he does And now we have an editor that we're sending it over to So the reality is I probably didn't need a co-writer But it's fine

It got me motivated to do it My next book that I'll do after this I'll probably do by myself Which is the publishing company Your stories Yeah That's amazing It's called Knives and Spoons

You can get it on Amazon But when this comes out It'll be ready to be out December 2nd trips Wow But when's the special? September, October. I'm filming it July 12th.

So then how will this be out? The pre-order will be out, you mean? The pre-orders are ready out for the book. Yeah. You can buy it right now on Amazon. Okay. So before chat, GBT, how did you find these restaurants and shit with your kid when you're... Oh, when I'm there?

Yeah. Oh, you just sort of Google and see what's great. You know, ask friends who have been there. Do you go recommend from hotels? Do you be like, hey? Sometimes. I mean, look, Google is a great resource. You can see if it's got fucking five-star.

reviews like I typically look at places that are like nicer for the most part just there's a reason that they're more expensive and nicer and you're on vacation too it's like it's time to splurge you don't want whole foods on a vacation no exactly and still keep wrong once in a while you're like oh you found this place it was dirt cheap and it was incredible but you have to like happen upon those things or somebody will tell you like oh dude you got to go to this place but it's who you're talking to i'm talking to some person who's just like you know sometimes people's opinions don't fucking you know you talk to some people they like mcreddles every morning from mcdonalds Nick Yous have found this out.

Whenever we go on the road, this is back when he was drinking and fucking. It'd be like, hey, where's the cool bar around here? And they're giving you what they think you would want. Yeah. Which is always they think you'll want the hot nightclub. Oh, which is not what I want. Never what I want.

But they think, oh, you're a big shot in town. You must want that. I want a completely dead. You could talk, not loud music. You know, not many people. A handful of people you could joke around with a little bit. Like a couple people, a little bit of a divey vibe. So this is what he said.

He goes, I learned. He goes, hey, where do the people, where do the guys with mustachees go? And they go, oh, well, then that bar. You know, like, perfect. Sometimes you get gay bars. But it's like, so he needs to say leather jackets, but also that. So where's next on, or have you been anywhere else with James? So you like it then, travel with a kid.

I love it. I do it for a reason. I love it. You're going to make him so worldly. Yeah. He's going to, at 17. He wants to do Japan next. So do I.

I want to see Japan, and I really went. I've heard so many amazing things about Japan. Chey DeRano just went there. Yeah, I hear really great things. I mean, I love sushi. Have you been to sushi by scratch? Yeah, once. Fucking so great.

How great was that? You didn't like it? Stop it. I did like it. It's not that. It's been, I got bitten by a thousand fucking nymph mites, and I couldn't have, I was worried about alpha gals, so I couldn't have the fucking bone marrow.

Oh, that's the best one. The best one. The best one. Do you go to the one here, the one here is great. You're such a big comment. I had two weeks where I couldn't have any red meat. Shout out Phil. Shout out Phil.

Shout out Phil. He's the man. He mocked me too. So he was like, he was like, there any allergies? Like, no. Oh, yeah, nothing. No, like, no red meat. He goes, okay, fine.

Do all the things. All the fish was fine. He goes, so for this next thing, it's a bone marrow. Now there's a couple of people who, um, can't have it. And we have a just a piece of just fish. Just here's some rice. Yeah, he like, went overboard with how dingy it was. He's like, so here's fucking flop.

Everyone's like, oh my God, I'm like, God. No, so it melts. Yeah, it's just, it melts into the rice. I was like, can I just go, I get paid the dumpster? Just bring it out to me. That place is, I brought, I brought James and his mother there, actually. I went to the one in Austin with Tim Dillon the first time. It's where I met the owner.

And then I brought my girlfriend of the one in Austin, and then I brought my son and his mother to the one here. And James, I mean, every, every bite just loved it. Love the stories behind it. Eating, they have jellyfish, which is great. That's like the crazy piece. Oh yeah. I didn't know what I was walking into. I thought it was just going to be a sushi restaurant.

It's like, I would have dressed up for this. Yeah, yeah. Where do you want to take James? Japan? Japan for sure. Brazil. He does Jiu-Jitsu, so I want to take him to Brazil. To see like a tournament or something in Brazil.

To train and to like, you know, but I think he's got to be a little bit older. It's a little more of a dangerous place if I've heard. Rio I heard is the worst. Yeah. And then there's probably like Florida or place like that. Yeah, for sure. But even as I was just in England and at... Japanese Jiu-Jitsu is also.

So the home of it. Dude, fucking London is such a cool city. I really love London. People hate on it. I think it's great. I like any city. Like London, Rome and New York are like my favorite cities that I visited.

Because they're like, they have a New York vibe and I love New York. When I first moved to New York City, you understand something about New York like, dude, there's a reason people live amongst shit. Okay. I'm upstate. Like an hour north of here. There's a reason people will live amongst shit. It's because this is the most, like the energy of New York.

it's this romantic sort of thing where you're like, I'm in New fucking York City. Do you understand what that means? I don't care that there's garbage piled up. I don't care that there's violence on the subway I don't care that there's rats right there. I'm in new fucking New York.

There's a reason you come here and stay here. There's a reason. And it's a young man's game. I moved out to the suburbs during the pandemic because I wanted a pool and a car and all that other stuff. I'm in New York City three days a week. So they always said like,

oh, your apartments are too small in New York. And we're always like, we're not in our apartments. We go out of sleep and fuck. And then you go out to Broadway. and comedy shows and art and all this stuff. And also, the inspiration. Pause. So that's what we always made an excuse for.

Then COVID came and there was no Broadway. There were no restaurants. There was no comedy shows. And we stayed. Stayed. Because it's so fucking cool here. Yeah. It's cool.

I never hate on it. I moved out for, I got a kid. If I didn't have a kid. You don't have to hate on something just because you move away. You can still be awesome. I'm doing this now. Dude, when I, where I grew up, there was, like, Oh, it's only an hour north of here, Rockland County, right?

And I grew up in the ghetto area of Rockland County. It's where Levity Live is, Levity Live, that comedy club up in the mall. That's in Nyack, which is like a nicer area of Rockland County. But I grew up in West Havishershire, Havershire area, which is kind of ghetto and a little bit dilapidated, a lot of Latinos and blacks. And a lot of white trash, too. And where I grew up, there was no inspiration. Like, you're dealing with people that they just want to, you know, they're just, their goals are so low. and their goals are so like they don't have any aspirations or they wouldn't live in rockland county right when you come to new york city you the guy on the subway that's selling a cd he's trying to be the fucking best to be the fucking best to be the fucking there's you'll be next to a guy from wall street who's worth millions of dollars you're dealing with an entrepreneur you're dealing with the dancer who's trying to be the best dancer in the world the jazz musician some fucking you know whoever the homeless are the best here we have the best homeless out of all of the like we're more talented they know their plays they know how to they know how to be homeless

in a weird way. Yeah, they don't smell the same way you go to Austin or L.A. They smell like fucking absolutely once in a while you're a real smelly guy here. But like Yanna says,

if you get out of line, he goes every 10 years or so, we burn one alive and they all know their place. They got to bring that back to Austin. And they're like, hey, new homeless, don't, that's,

you're being in L.A. That is like when you're dealing with a place like New York and London reminds me of this in Rome, Rome is like the original New York with the OG like fucking they, You're dealing with, like, just an elite attitude, like, the people that are there going, like, no, no, no, we're here for a fucking reason.

And you don't really get that in many other places. In New York, like, you know, I think, you know, people that hate it on New York, I'm like, first of all, it's all, like, kind of bullshit. People are you going to be here. It's like, it's not really dangerous. No, it's really not. I don't know. Anybody's really getting attacked. I mean, once in a while, if you, if you go to the hood, you'll get fucked with a little bit.

It's happened. I'm sure you've had something thrown at you here and there. Like, but, you know, some fucking, a black dude and a Latino got threw a pair at my back. And I was like, what the fuck? You see, he's punks. He was like 14. Yeah, they were punts. And I'm like, what the fuck?

Yeah, but also that's going to happen somewhere else as well. Yeah. You act like it's not going to happen in the Midwest. I was so mad. I forgot about it. I was like 10 years ago. I'm so mad. All right, I'm going to let you go.

This was fucking awesome. Thanks, man. You were right to go, let's do something different than just one country. We're going to do Puerto Rico, but he was like, I don't know, I just didn't. It's not. I think Italy's the, that was sort of the focal point on this. Yeah. But I think it's the theme, traveling with children.

I'll tell you a memory I have of I went to the Coochee Tunnels in Vietnam. You go through a tour of where they all did whatever, and you come out of the ground and do whatever. They show you all the spears that they stepped in and how it demoralized or whatever. There was a French mom and dad with their two kids. And the kids were like eight and six. And they didn't let it slow them down.

And I remember these kids had this long branch with this big leaf at the end of it, a dry leaf. They were messing with a cat trying to. And I'm looking. looking at this through this kid's eyes. He's at this place, a tour of like killing American GIs. And like, there were probably their memories and be like, remember that cat?

Yeah. And I'm like, they're having it. And the parents that let it slow them down. And like, there's a way to do it. Yeah, there's a without a doubt. And honestly, it's a part of their life. And it's a part of their like, you know, it's a part of just growing up, traveling,

and doing something new. I never did any of that as a kid. I was always very jealous of the kids who would go on a family vacation year, about them going to Disney World. And I've done all that. I've done all those things, too. This is cooler.

Yeah, my son, my son, I think when the smoke clears is all set and done, I could die in a couple of years. He's going to go, oh, my dad tried to create amazing experiences for me. For sure, it's in him. Forever. By the way, when the smoke clears is good way, I said, he will at some point be in college, be talking. Like, do you've been anywhere? And it was like, no. Oh, actually, they go 17 countries.

They'll begin to be like, what? He's going to realize at some point. Maybe mid-20s, he's going to, oh, that was incredibly cool. Yeah. It's going to hit him how different Every time I push him to go to Jiu-Jitsu And he's like oh dad I feel like hanging at home today I'm like James you should really go

And I never make him I'm never like you gotta go to Jiu-tzu It's my you know I'm not that dad But I always I always try to be like I was like you're gonna regret I always say this I was like you're gonna regret Being lazy right now for an hour Because an hour of your time

You're physically and mentally You're working on yourself You're thinking about yourself You're becoming a better version of whatever you are And then every time he goes Like all you're right dad And every time he goes And I think years from now

When the smoke clears he's gonna go like even if he doesn't continue with jujitsu later on in life i think he's going to go like i'm really glad my dad stayed on me to do that and to excel at it's something that he's really good at he's one of the better kids in his class he doesn't even realize that he's a little badass like he can box he does jiu-jitsu like he's so sweet like he doesn't know like if you talk to him he wouldn't he doesn't seem like he's going to be a tough kid at all but he's strong as fuck and he's just got really great technique he does great every time he won a gold medal in a tournament and he's just you know he has that in him if somebody ever fucks him he could fucking show

He'll put his hands off their collar and just choke them out. I was like, oh, yeah, I can do that, yeah. So, thank you. I was wrong. In my advice, we're not going to go into it, but I was wrong. What was, all about me abhorting my child? I'm willing to admit now. Beatrice was pregnant 13 years ago, Ari was like, kill it.

You got to kill it right now. What are you doing? I was going to ruin your life. I was so, like, bleeding with you. Are you going to have a child? No, I had tube tight. Oh, you have your tube set. That's crazy.

Dude, I was not even, like, joking. I was pleading with you to do it. Out of love for you. But for me, it was what I needed because I probably would be a drug addict right now. You might be dead. Who knows? Yeah, I was going down sort of a,

just not the path that, like, I take myself serious in comedy, to take yourself serious in comedy is stupid, it's a weird, like, almost contradiction. But it's like, I'm so hyper-focused on the things that I need to be hyper-focused on. And, yeah, that's that. Do you have any travel tip advice? travel tips tips that's what it is tips yeah the travel tips i actually came up with that

what remember didn't i come up with it on my episode you might have yeah yeah i think i did that was the episode that uh um yeah you might yeah because i was like oh these are the things it was like bring wipes i said bring wet naps i think you did come up with yeah this was my thing um any more travel tips i think you had one with the chat gbt chat gbt is a good one but That's it. Could do that one. Chat GPT for a nice restaurant. Chat GPD.

You could find 10 options of things that are near you. You know, mix it up. I mean, this whole episode was really a travel tip for a parent, like to do adventurous things. It's that kind of inspirational, to be honest. Because you're doing more adventurous stuff than people going alone doing whatever. You're actually going out doing things. Well, that's the only things I have to. But when I'm by myself, I would just go to a nice restaurant and go back to the hotel.

Because I'm with my kid, you have to, like, pick these fun. things to do so it's a better way to do it yeah i love you buddy love you too dude congrats on the special i appreciate it bro to get to the other side just the other side it's out now yeah today or yesterday or at most six days ago six days ago no i'll do it right i appreciate um yeah everybody go download it right now give them a tip give them first of all no you don't give a tip watch it share it with a friend play it on two devices share with the right leave a comment there's an algorithm that works and if you comment it actually helps So I would comment

A better trip to Italy than Jordan Jensen That's a good comment And really shit on Jordan As your comment And really I mean go Try to top each other Really try to like one up each other On how shitty Jordan Jensen's

Never to be aired episode of Roma Shall have to come out and do another different thing But I love you I'm proud of you You're the best Thanks brother Oh that's the episode everybody Hope you enjoyed it

I, yeah, go watch Lewis is Special. The worst kind of, no, you're making it worse. On YouTube right now. What is he doing? It's like a soccer player. They got barely touched. Watch Lewis is Special right now. You're making it worse, legitimately.

I agree with them 100% on this. Pretty much everything either one of us have ever done have tried to make things worse. We try to make jokes. And then people are like, no, no, stop. Do you remember during George Floyd? Remember a couple of comics going like, hey, comics, we don't need your jokes right now. You're making it worse.

I remember that. They said that. I'm not going to say who it was. It's actually a comic I really like. And it was like, we're not doing the ones killing anybody. You're way off. Lewis's tour dates are available at Lewis of Skanks.com, Nashville, Columbus for New Year's, Miami'sburg, Ohio, Batavia, Illinois, and Kansas City.

plus more common and go tell them on instagram gomez comedy oh he dropped the j what can't believe he dropped the j that's nuts okay this though yeah aura despoes okay just got shaken down for five soles i'm sorry uh whatever country i'm in pesos um single solace it used to be four solas crazy how things have changed uh speaking of traveling with I remember seeing this, I was in Vietnam, I did the Coochee Tunnels. It's where they show you where all, you know, freedom fighters. Asian gossans, as they were, were dug tunnels to beat the fucking American army. Kind of similar, right?

More powerful army, getting fucking, well, actually, nah, Vietnam won that one. Anyway, we left and there was this family, this French family with two little kids. and they had this long branch with like a leaf on the end of it and they just kept teasing this cat it ruled by the way that cat fucking hated it kept trying to fucking smash this leaf and I was with him I was with these kids and I remember these kids probably like eight and ten years old I remember going like they're going to remember this trip to Vietnam as that time we played with that cat and not the fucking freedom fighter shit yeah pretty wild um let me just pay this guy now um in his

cambio bada dius grazia how do you name is kigia kigla okay pablo pablo is

more uh yeah yeah jude this day Just great, so thank you. Yes, signor. Yeah, anyway, it must be weird to have a kid growing up. He's going to have all these experiences.

It's going to be pretty wild. I wonder how much... I mean, he must be more worldly because of it. Did I go anywhere? Yeah, I used to go to Israel every year. Pretty much for the big holiday. Passover. Oh, yeah, you can't see my face.

Anyway, guys, that's the episode. Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening. Today's episode was edited by Alan Kemp. Paffy, produced by your mom's house network. Is there anything else? Yeah, subscribe wherever you're watching and listen. And go to Lewis's special right now. You're making it worse on, on, what's his website?

YouTube.com slash at Lewis J. Gomez comedy. And check out a special, is, you know, whatever podcast. Lewis Gomez is on Legion of Skanks every week, the regs. story wars. Three different podcasts. How do you have time for your child then? Then how do you have time for your child, Lewis? Yeah, these chips aren't making up for your absenteeism three times a week. My child never got to know me. Actually, I have, well, I have adopted, I've adopted a kid. Um, she's doing great. Um, that's it, everybody. Next week's episode is live from Skagfest with Sam Talent, Ryan O'Neill,

and Collum Terrell. Um, the first live episode on the You Be Chippin. Um, I don't know. Whatever. Oh, Blancos. All right guys, that's the episode. Thank you very much, Lewis. Again, congratulations on the special. Everyone, leave him a comment on his special going,

I heard Ari put, finally gave you your J. That's it. Until next week. Goodbye, everybody. Is there anything else here that? Buy a shirt. Bye.