You Be Trippin' - Work Visas w/ Ari Matti | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

SPONSORS: -Use code TRIPPIN to save 20% on your order at http://sheath.com -If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at https//mintmobile.com/trippin On this episode of You Be Trippin, Ari Matt was supposed to talk about Canada but we couldn’t keep him on track so we turned it into a themed “work visa” episode. On the show, he and the other Ari talk about backpacking, doing comedy overseas, and hooking up in hostels and farm stays. They also digital nomads ruining countries, the Russian mafia taking over Thailand, and how the Chinese are the worst. Other topics: motorbiking, getting robbed, Estonian bogs, and Ari number one taking a number two on stage. Also, we have replaced a couple words we’re not allowed to say on YouTube. Submit your paperwork and lie to customs because this one’s worth overstaying your visa. Enjoy! You Be Trippin' Ep. 058 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:30 - Ari Number 2 & Meeting in Siem Reap 00:10:22 - Backpacking & Rambling 00:23:39 - Not Canada, Work Visas, & Weed Picking 00:29:21 - Still Not Canada, Australia, & The Chinese 00:41:41 - Avoiding Canada Still 00:46:07 - Hard Shift to Work Visas 00:52:16 - Hardest Visas & Hooking Up 00:58:15 - Needing Work Visas & Lying at Customs 01:04:30 - Bartending & Dispensaries 01:09:50 - Digital Nomads & Russians in Thailand 01:14:32 - Europe & Estonia 01:21:39 - Visa Cost, Couchsurfing, & SA 01:27:41 - Chads & Motorbikes 01:30:48 - Ari Pooping on Stage 01:37:35 - Getting Your Visa Revoked & Getting Robbed 01:46:06 - Believing in Yourself 01:47:34 - Travel Tips 01:51:27 - Where Next & A Good Compromise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit 5hourenergy.com to find a retailer near you and try the limited time 1-Hour Energy Shot. One last hour in the day, challenge accepted. Now let's get back to the episode. Dude, I love this map. Every time I see a map or like this stuff, because I used to backpack so much, I always feel like every time I see Bolivia,

I'm like, why haven't I been in Bolivia? Why am I not in Bolivia? Why am I here? Dude, Harlan came into mind, and there's a, in my, New York City, there's a way bigger map, way clear countries. And he's looking at it, you gotta look at it.

He just draws the eye, right? Exactly. And I go, which one of these you've been to? He goes, all of them. And I was like, no, which ones? He goes, oh buddy, all of them. Really? I was like, what?

But I've been through a lot. All in Europe and so. But sometimes, yeah, you'll see something that you haven't heard of, but you see it on a map and you're like, actually, this seems dope. Yeah, sometimes it's like the Guyanas and those things. It's like, oh, that's the hair? Oh, I was in Indonesia and I was like,

he goes, you're gonna go see the Komodo dragons? I was like, where are those? He goes, in this country. And I was like, oh, where? He goes, like two islands over. Exactly. I was like, what? It's been a dream.

He goes, well, how did you not know? I'm like, I don't know. I didn't know where it was. That's not the videos I see. All I see from Indonesia is the white chicks in Bali doing a travel blog. What a different vibe. It's Komodo Island and Indonesian Bali dressing girls. Oh, yeah.

Dude, when I went to Bali and I saw all those Australian people tearing up that city, just partying and all the local Indonesians hating on them. I remember being like well the bombings make sense Oh fuck I know I think it does But that's not exactly a lottery. That's not exactly the... Alright, let's pick a spot. Yeah, it's not. I do want to do one of those. Where you put the new go? I need more time. I just feel like, let's go.

And then just go right to the airport. I need like two weeks. I should have done this June when I was... My next travel dream was when I was talking to a guy, it was in Spain and I was talking to a guy who was also a backpacker at the hostel. And he talks to me about, he only takes boats. And I go huh. And in my head I see it's like a waste of time, no? But then he tells me about this, about the, I mean, imagine when you arrive to a country, it's like when you arrive by plane, the airport, the check-in, you get a whole, then you go straight to the city.

That's a whole different experience that also the human race has only experienced. We're the first generation, by the way, just to be like, pa-pa-da-pa-la-la-la-la. Of course, air travel existed more, but I mean generation, we're the first one that are actually, you connect, you put the shoes off the thing,

but by boat or by train, that's, if you arrive ashore, that ignites a different part of your nervous system that generationally goes back. It's like riding a horse. My dad came here on a boat. Yeah, and people have done that. FOB. A thousand? Maybe? 1492? Yeah. No, not quite. Not quite. But at least multiple generations of that feeling of reaching a shore. And imagine how also... It is cooler when you land, when you get a land border or ocean border. Ocean border. And imagine how you experience the country. You come in from a whole different

angle, a whole different experience. And it's like riding a horse, you know? Like when you ride a horse, there's a part in the back of your DNA that activates, where you go, oh, this synergy has existed for a long time between this animal and me you know same thing with i think with when you go by boat so this guy's explaining then i start reading books but it's a millionaire thing more that's probably why i got hard when i ride horses uh-huh because you've fucked them i gotta talk to the neuroscientist about that uh-huh there's something there there's a connection there. There's a connection. Yeah. Um.

I don't know. So that's the next thing I wanna do. You ever get a boner when you're cuddling with a dog in the morning? When a cat sits on my lap and starts massage. You know cats do that. Yeah, it's involuntary. Cats start doing this thing, you know?

When you start doing this thing around my dick, no matter what species you are. How come chicks aren't doing that more? There'll be a reaction. Oh yeah, chicks are the right thing. Chicks never know what they're doing. Get with it, chicks. Up your game.

Dude, a cat on your lap with the rear feet, massaging. Yeah, so soft. Heart is a rock, brother. You ever get like a super hot chick and you don't get as hard as like for a fat chick and the super hot chick says, what's going on? You're like, right? I don't know.

I know, 100%. I love what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, when you cuddle a fat chick and you feel that, you put your dick, okay, anyway. You know, it's like when it's, yeah, anyway. It's just softer and better. It's softer.

It feels better. When I feel a bone on your body. Yeah, you don't want that. You don't want that. Yeah, it looks good on pictures. I want a fatty bombatti on her period so she's sweating in bed. That heat. It's like a radiator. Have you ever cuddled with a... With a, what's it called? With a, not a bleeding one. There's a word for it. Jesus, in heat. In heat, yeah. Wait, they get hotter? Hot, sweaty, sweaty, hot, like a radiator.

That's not a thing. Well, I'm from a cold country, it's definitely a thing. Trust me, I know more about heat sources than you. Fair, fair. Trust me. Welcome to You Be Trippin', everybody. It's a travel podcast, the only travel podcast that has been endorsed by the Eastern Bloc country as not harsh enough.

My guest today is the new number one Ari in town, Ari Mati. Oh, the new number one. It is hilarious. Two decades being the only Ari in comedy. Well, those are Ari Manis, Ari Manis. No one gave a fuck about him, and they still don't. He had to rebrand all his Ari number twos to Ari number threes.

Also Ari Matty, Ari Manis. I'm a nightmare for this guy. If I'm a spy, he's like, why'd you pick this name? Like, did you literally Google? Yeah. Today's episode is sponsored by Messy Cop. When you're looking for imported chocolates, look no further than Messy Cop.

It's, what does that mean? Like humane? Honeycomb. No, no, up there. The little frog thing. Oh yeah, what does it mean? It means it's the best in the world probably. Oh, like a...

Rainforest Alliance. Okay, so like not, they don't like cut down trees for this. Yeah. Honeycomb, we'll eat some in a second. Ari, thanks for joining us. You, I would say, am I the first, probably not. Am I the first American comic you met?

No. Of course not. But the way I met you was definitely very weird. I was doing gigs with William Childress in Cambodia. Yeah, he's the number one architect comedian. Yeah, exactly. Number one architect comedian. Also, have you had him on number one. I'm the number one architect comedian, yeah. Also, have you had him on?

You know he has a crazy story. I have had him on about. You know he used to live in Myanmar. Yeah. You know that? No, that's where I met him. He gave me all these tips from Myanmar. While he was living in Myanmar, he brought me to Thailand. That's insane, dude.

He lived a crazy one, too. So he's doing opium at the fucking. Oh, I didn't know if you talked. Wait, which one did I do with my children? That's the one I wanted to bring up immediately, but yes, the opium. He's not hiding from it. But I didn't know, I mean, I don't know. Maybe he. Wait, which one did I do with Liam Childress? That's the one I wanted to bring up immediately, but yes, the opium, the opium. He's not hiding from it. But I didn't know, I mean, I don't know.

Maybe he's an architect somewhere, you know, company. I mean, what happened in another country, it doesn't really count. I actually don't know the rules of business. You did Cambodia. Cambodia, he did Cambodia. Okay, so we're gonna have a bunch of Cambodians. Yeah, of course, yeah.

O'Neill just got back from Cambodia, he's gonna do that. But yeah, we met in Phnom Penh or Siem Reap? Siem Reap, near Siem Reap, like in a fucking lobby. What a weird gig. Indoor, outdoor. It was hot, yeah. You only usually see in pools, rarely in comedy clubs. Indoor, outdoor.

I mean, one of those expat gigs. Yeah. Where it's all weird people. There was a couple of Estonians there, I remember. Oh yeah? Yeah, yeah. Then there's an old German guy played pool with that night that I'm pretty sure was a on the run.

You know they do that a lot. That is Cambodia. You know they do that a lot, right? What? On the run? No, no. They go to like. Those areas?

Oh yeah, yeah, I'm aware. There's still a bit like if you get in trouble in, if you get in trouble in America for or any sexual, you go to France. Right. But you get trouble in there, then you go to Estonia. We're the next in line. What are you guys?

And if you get in trouble in Estonia, that's where you go to the jungle. That's where you're in Siem Reap in a pool bar, watching a comedy show at 70 years old, you fucking German. I was 100% sure of his. Because he kept not saying what he does or why he's here. He just smiles. And then when I was in CMREAP,

I was training mixed martial arts at this gym. I remember I was there for six months. Then I met another German guy. He's like at the local newspaper, you can still Google this guy's name. He's always like in jail for two months for f******. You know, they can't get any money and there's no funding, so they just go f go fucking get out of here

What for what? Who's gonna fund that? What do you mean? They can't get funding like I like they want the government. They know no they want government They want the money from the German guy, but then the German guy I'm sure calls the embassy and they're like we're not gonna hook you up and then the Cambodia they don't have funding from their government It's not like a secure system of fucking, they just want money from you, you know. Who? The cop, the cop puts you in the jail. Oh, oh, I didn't know who you're talking about.

Sorry. I did love the in Cambodia, I guess Phnom Penh, it was like you go to these, it's just like sex bars, and it's a bunch of 65 year old white men smiling. Smiling. And they're either fucking young boys or young girls, usually in their 20s, but then there's always

the other thing where they're like, we don't judge here. We all came to the same place. There's a second floor to that bar always. There's the second floor where you can, it's on the menu. So, CM Reap, that was fun. I remember they had a tower of beer. I didn't wanna go up, I was taking four months off and then William was like,

do you want to go up? I'm not, here's what I was afraid of. Bombing and then having to sit with a bomb for the next three months, traveling around Southeast Asia. I'm like, I can't let that be my last set. Oh, that is true. Yeah.

If I was going up the next day, I'd be like, sure, I'd love to go up. Oh yeah, yeah. It's a terrible room for comedy. One of the worst rooms I've ever known in my life, yeah. But they put you up in that place? Yeah, yeah, I remember. I was opening for William, I was on the road with him.

I didn't know we were hanging around. You crushed, I think. I remember you just by. Yeah, I was like literally three years in or something. Wow. But you were my first definitely, and I would say maybe the only, I don't meet a lot backpacking comedians.

Because you're a guy who has that in his blood. Yeah, we were backpacking, we were hustling. I'm like a backpack type of guy. Even to this day, I don't like stuff. I just like. You're not a guy who has that in his blood. Yeah, we're backpacking, we're hustling. I'm like a backpack type of guy, even to this day. Like I don't like stuff, I just. You're not a roller bagger, you're a backpacker. Yeah. You see the roller bag people, they're different. What's gonna happen, yeah exactly.

I need to get out of here as soon as possible. Nothing more than I love is just having a backpack and going. Yeah, the roller bag doesn't give you cobblestone street. Every time I have stuff around me, I'm always stressed about the stuff. I'm like, fuck it. I've moved my stuff. How fucking great is it when you're down to just one backpack? It's so freeing. Oh yeah. That whole time. When I did that Cambodia, I was think I was three, four years, maybe just in Thailand, Cambodia,

did Australia at that time. And they did all the Indonesia, did all the circuits. They're all the comedy circuits. Wow. So comedy brought you around places, and I did all the Indonesia. I did all the circuits there, all the comedy circuits. Wow, so comedy brought you around places, gave you a little extra cash. I was backpacking before, but it gave me an extra, like now you can also go to places like Kuala Lumpur. I wouldn't go there as a backpacker, but you definitely go there for a gig.

Also the gig's like, you get a little nicer room. A little nicer room, yeah. One night, it's like, oh, real shower? Exactly. Yeah. But to be honest, I don't even, I love host room. A little nicer room. One night, it's like oh, real shower? Exactly. Yeah. But to be honest, I don't even, I love hostels. I don't mind. Yeah.

That's what you learn about backpacking the most is like your stuff doesn't matter. Like you think you need this pillow, this circumstance, this fucking AC. You think you need that. But if you're so tired from fucking arguing with an Indonesian cop You can't find a flight the letters are wrong Once you get that bed with a fan and 16 people you don't you pass out. Yeah

Yeah, exactly you pass the fuck. Yeah, or you pay the extra dollar for AC but a fan's fine That's used to just get used to it. And then how little you know, if someone's like, you want this t-shirt? I'm like, yeah, sure. This is a cool t-shirt. Let me see what I have to throw away now. Because I'm already full on room. Always full on room.

I live when they try to sell you shit. They're like, you want this blanket? I'm like, buddy, I have to lose a pair of jeans. Exactly. I don't need it. There's no blankets. Yeah. Yeah, it was cool though.

And then when they told me here, they're like, there's this guy, Ari Mati. And I'm like, and then I saw him. I'm like, oh. There's no blankets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was cool though. And then when they told me here, they're like, there's this guy, Ari Mati, and I'm like, and then I saw him, I'm like, oh no, I know him. They're like, where? I'm like, Cambodia. I know. I mean, it was like, what?

Yeah, it's so weird. William's life is crazy, dude. I love that guy. He rules. Yeah, he fucking rules. Hey guys, I gotta break into this. Is it crooked? It's pretty close.

This week's episode, I'll let you know about Ari Mati. He's a great stand-up comedian who I met in Cambodia. I believe we're gonna annex them. The government is gonna annex them pretty quickly. I've decided to start, hey, little tip, tell me what you think. I've decided to stop saying Trump's gonna do this or the Democrats do this.

Instead, I just go with the government. You know, it just lets you know, it's just them I don't care okay who you say is in charge the government is gonna annex Cambodia it's pretty funny you can put your own name on it Ari's gonna be in Zany Chicago April 24th 25th and 26th if you want to see his dates do not check out his website. This is perhaps the worst website I've ever seen in my life. You guys legitimately have to see it. Go to AriMatti.com. For no reason at all, it just says it's made by WordPress. That's the most featured thing on his website, that it's made by WordPress. And it says 2025, which that

might be an auto update because I can't imagine someone who has done that. Now the pictures are all out of date. It's wild. It's wild. He's got clearly somebody made like a, uh, like a picture for him and he was impressed by it a long time ago. It says Ari Matty must most done in live and yet there's no dates. It just's only it features a picture of him a cartoon picture of him and Then another picture of him and then his bio is first and foremost What year was this made Ari you're nuts? Helling from Estonia and just returned from a year in Vancouver, Canada

Out of date like crazy Ari Matti, and then the word goes over his ear so you can't really see it. Most of them has a bright future ahead of them. What a chump thing to say. What a not current comic thing to say. With enough on stage energy to power a small town and punch lines to match. A fucking loser you are, Ari.

Come on, you're giving our name a fucking bad rap. Ari's been enthralling audiences around the world. This sounds like an Edinburgh. Stories about life growing up in Eastern Europe. Ari Matty Muster known as, yeah, say it again bro. Is the most Finnish sounding name ever. You do know what Finnish names sounds like, right? It's making me mad.

A mixture of mad and sadness, I guess, for him and his website. And then it says again, Ari has recently returned from a year in Vancouver, Canada. He worked as a feature act and headliner for the Yuck Yucks and Comedy Mix. Comedy Mix is no longer open, by the way. Neither's yuck yucks in Vancouver. Dude as a highlight

of his time he self promoted and performed his hour, imported goods at the Rio theater in Vancouver selling 350 seats. You gotta look it up. You gotta look it up. Then the links. Oh the links are fucking wild. Okay. Let's get this here. The links are wild. The Twitter's first. It goes to the Matty podcast. Then you got Facebook. Let's see what that opens on you got a log in then we got Instagram okay what sorry this page isn't available and then you do let's see what we got on this Ari Mati most own in let's see, last video uploaded four months ago. It's a highlight of Whitney Cummings. Okay, okay, that's just regular bad.

Ari's other passion is martial arts. He's becoming famous. Appearance, Ari's, okay, here's one from Glenn Wool. A couple, oh, a couple, Glenn Wool. Ari's a great standup. He's an enviable...he has an enviable fairness. He's going to make many, many people laugh all over the world. Glenn Wool. Great comedy. Great comedy with internationally appealing. Chris Franklin. Bogum. Appearance credits include the

2016 Laugh Factory Competition and the 2016 Comedy conference in London. Radio 2. And then podcast of the year 2017. And then his Estonian bio. Which oh okay it opens up a new comedy Estonia. Oh my god. it's so bad it's so fucking bad sorry this page isn't available for his bro this is like and then there's a bunch of pictures of you gay

Gay! Wow, bro! Now let's go over to my website where you can see all my dates. AriShafeer.com You can get merch, tour, ju- specials, sh- my- it's actually not that great either. But see all my dates! I just was in, uh... Atlanta and Portland. By the way, if you have a record for me to sign, you want to bring it, show a door guy when you come into a club or if it's a theater, which I'll be doing in Seattle, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton in April and in Anchorage in June I think that's it

there'll be a separate wristband at the door show your record the door and then there'll be a separate wristband which will allow you to hang out for like 20 minutes after the show are ready to clear out and then I'll come out and sign them I also will have signed grinders there in the other room but they're cool-looking two different ones. I'll keep going. Um, and you can get those signed. I mean, get them at, uh, the shows at the merch line. I will not be out there, but I will sign them ahead of time. Two different ones. These are not signed,

but they will be Ari Shafir's fine quality goods. That's one. And then the other one is the Ari Shafir Third Eye Smoking. Available both designs in black and green. Those are also available on my site but they won't be signed like they were at the venues. I'm going to be those places, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando in March. San Jose in March as well I think that's it Seattle Vancouver Calgary I'm into yeah I think that's it I think I've talked about everything that I'm off the road goodbye also this is not also Ari Shafir's renamed storytelling show we're still renaming the show. Will tickets are almost gone, so hurry up and get them at Arishafair.com. The pre sale is now over and you can get

tickets. Every show is gonna be great. No more than one show per night per person. If we see you coming in on someone else's ticket, you'll be like, you know, no refund and stuff. There's just be like not allowed in. But one show per night is fine. If you wanna come to more than one show, you're welcome to. Dress up. Don't dress like a slob like this.

Look at this fucking college shirt. Do better, Ari. And that's it. I got lots of merch and everything, everything, everything. And we're still gonna try to send somebody around the world, but I haven't looked at the submissions yet. Send it to the Instagram account. You'll be trippin' pod. Not my Instagram account, ubtrippinpod,

not my Instagram account, I don't really look at those. I see them once in a while, I'm like, no, it's not it. The ubtrippinpod Instagram account or the email address. And that's it, let's get back to the episode. Ari Mati. Yeah, I do love being under, yeah, but the next thing I wanna do is that boat thing. Like, but that's for comedy, it's so hard

because it takes so much, that's what time is. In between, yeah. It's literally years that you need to be on the fuck and if you want to do it properly, you know. A few weeks in between there. Minimum at least, a few weeks. But it'd be cool too just to be on a boat, catch a food. 100%.

Anyway, where do you want to go today? Where are we talking about? Okay, so. So you're gonna be on this podcast a bunch of times. I hope so. You're one of the traveler pop, like comedians, so it's like. But everybody's done so many cool countries here. We've already done like 40, what are we at?

Something like that, let me check. 35, I don't know, wherever we're at. But it's like, yeah, we've done a lot. Now I gotta go to Afghanistan. We've done Australia a couple times. Just to be cool on our podcast. Now I gotta go to. Dude, I already have two Afghanistan's in the can.

Really? Yeah. Awesome. Like, wait, wait, pause. USO. USO. USO. It was so we did. Do you mean USO or Afghanistan?

Like somebody went over there. Julio Galarotti went to Afghanistan and then I got Sad. Not USO. Sad Mosani who was like runs the media corporations in Afghanistan. He's Afghani. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, not USO. Yeah, that's cool. That's a different thing. Yeah, sometimes guys, dude, I've met some. USO, you keep calling it USO, I like it. I met so many American comedians who are like, oh yeah, I went to Japan, I did the naval base. Oh wow, what a Japanese. What a Japanese like, they're all tough.

They're all tough and white. Yeah, the brothel was great, I'm sure it was. Yeah, I've had a bunch of a few things. Afghanistan, surprisingly, Amsterdam I had to stop. No more Amsterdam, it's all I got too high. I got too high, I was in the red light district and I fucked a child. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wish I haven't got that story yet.

When am I gonna get a, I was willing to talk about it. You know, the term is changing, you know. You know, the, are standing up for that right now. You've read about this? No. You've heard about this? You heard about this? You know, the term is changing, you know. You know, you know, it's standing up for the right now. You've read about this? No. You've heard about this? You've heard about this? You know this? On Reddit apparently, my friend sends me these

fucking things, you know, they're like, apparently don't like the word anymore. Oh yeah, let's make sure they're comfortable. Exactly, just like you can call trans people trannies anymore, same thing with, you know. Now they're like age affluent, you know, like. Should we keep this up here or should we eat it? You can keep it up there.

If you eat this on mic, this is the worst thing to eat on mic, it's honeycomb chocolate. But it's one of the best chocolates you've ever put in your mouth, just so you know. Really? Yeah, just so you know. I gave this to Brian Redman, he's moving to Estonia,

he's buying real estate there, opening up another club with two high ceilings. I have a joke about Redman, he's moving to Estonia, he's buying real estate there, opening up another club with two high ceilings. I have a joke about Redman, because he saw me at the congress once and I was like, a bit thinner. Up and down, it goes, if I was as much as you do, I would just binge all the time. And I was like, you were my weight,

and you did binge all the time. I love how fat people say always if I was you. As if he had no legs. Yeah, like you have skittles in your mouth as you're talking to me. Yeah, this is a very like solvable situation. Where are we going? Let's find a place.

Where are we headed? We're gonna go back to Cambodia another time. Let's go to Canada. Canada we have not had. Let's go to Canada. Canada. The great leaf. Yeah, it's an interesting one because a lot of people say it's greater America,

which to a degree it is. But it's different. Yeah, it's very different actually. What were you doing there? Where'd you go, where'd you stay? I moved to, see, when the backpack thing started for me, I started doing, I've done every working holiday visa. You know about this?

I've heard about it. You know about this? You know about holiday visas. These are things that European Union, inshallah European Union, inshallah. I'm getting my Romanian passport. What? Moving on.

Oh, like e-residency so you can have, that's a good move by the way. So then you can go to the line of the stars. British people are not in that line anymore. The British people used to ruin our line because they're like animals, you know. They are animals. They're all bloated, screaming.

But now. Do you think they're the fattest European? Brits? The most disgusting, definitely. Not the fattest. Include Scottish. They might be the fattest. Which country's fatter than the UK?

Actually, you're 100% sure. They're an empire. Every country that has invaded other countries is fat. Yeah, they're like extra. Yeah, France kind of got away with it. Wales, they have the highest, Wales. Oh, Wales, oh yeah, they're on an island. They don't get to walk around a lot.

You just fucking. That's the UK, wow. So now the United Kingdom people, they go to the line of the fucking other passports. Yeah, now they have to deal with it. That's the Brexit problem. Exactly, so that's a great idea for you to have. So we joined the European Union, you know.

We were very lucky. There's some countries that went with the Russian mentality when the Soviet Union collapsed. Went to what? They went to Russia? Not to Russia, but you went with, it's like Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Dagestan. They're all-

I wanna go to those. Yeah, 100%. I can go, because then I'll be fucking, I can't come here. Oh, really? Of course, yeah, I can't go to Iran or Cuba either. Really, it's gonna affect your green card if you just go to any of those places?

A hundred, but, uh-huh. I wanted to go to, when we were in Miami, I was hoping for Tony Hinchcliffe, I wanted to go to Cuba, because it's just a boat, and I'm fascinated by their culture. Flights, too, they have 10 flights a day. No, I'm literally about to buy the thing and I ask my immigration lawyer, he goes,

oh yeah, you wanna go to the place where they're putting the new missiles? Sure, go ahead. You won't come back. Yeah, I'm trying to get this guy on the podcast and he goes, no, I can't come to America right now because I did business in Afghanistan so there won't be any anymore.

I know a guy who went to study, he's a chef, he went to study these dumplings in Iran. He couldn't come and see my Madison Square Garden gig. Really? He couldn't? This is why you need two passports. One for like, you know, one for the Arab countries, one for Israel and other places,

one for terrorism, one for non. One for terrorism, you fuck kids Cambodia. Yeah, what were you doing in Cambodia? I wasn't, there's no proof of that on my US passport. Exactly, on my US passport, in my Romanian passport. Oh, where they don't frown on these things? I'm a who sells uranium to governments. Yeah, all you see that, no, I was just traveling

for looking for accordions. Ari never heard of him. Yeah. So yeah, so that's a great idea. So then you can do these working holiday visas which is meant for ages from 18 to 30. It's meant to boost the local, it's basically you want legal slaves.

You want legal slaves. You want these. They do it in America for picking weed. Like seasonal. Come to Modesto or whatever the, whatever. In California. California, yeah. It's called the Hills.

Trust me. You've done it? I can't say anything. Really, you can't say that? It's legal. As an immigrant, no, actually I haven't done it, but as an immigrant, I know every, I know every, I actually had a girlfriend

whose ex-boyfriend got murdered there. No! You know they do really shady shit. Yeah, they put them up in massive like dorms. And it's all Colombian drug dealers that fucking get these young German backpackers, they're in the ass and they put you on a field, and if you say something, they kill you.

So how fun is that picking weed, the most relaxed, the most chilled drug in the world has the most crazy, yeah. Wait, hold on, explain the order. Am I going to cross the ticket? See Trimmigants. Yeah, they trim, they trim. Yeah, I knew an Italian lady.

Let's go. Even AI knows what's up. nearly half of whom are women. Even AI know they're everything. These workers are especially vulnerable to sexual violence. It's called R.I.P. City. Up there it's called R.I.P. City? I don't know if that's true, but you might as well. Wow, so wait, they fuck the dudes in the butt

and then put them in a field? Everybody gets fucked, everybody. And there's no rights, and because you do it with a tourist visa, that's not. So you're allowed to come, you have to work, you have to trim. And you have the tourist visa, it's all cash, you're not even a real person.

So you don't have any of the rights. Then there's the au pair, au pair is very popular for American visa. Chicks come and raise your babies because you guys don't like. They fuck the dad. They fuck the dad. Yeah, great a wedge, that's what Juno was.

Dude, if I was an American father, no way I'm not getting an Estonian fucking no rights. Yeah, you want someone from Eastern black countries to know how to keep their mouth shut. They know the benefit of not spreading the truth. I used to have a bit about those perverts that go to Thailand and they get like a Thai wife, they don't speak the language and then they see it's cause a

lot of men, a lot of older men want to find a woman, want to find the women they grew up with. Yeah. So that's why you sometimes get an immigrant woman, you know, cause it's, cause now these new American women, you know, they're on blogs, they have the rights, they vote, you know, they like tell you what they think, you know, they're on blogs, they have the rights, they vote. They tell you what they think. They're like, I think about, you know.

Let's get to Canada. Oh, this is, yeah, this is all over here. Yeah, so you have a worker's permit. So I did Australia. Yeah, pick an artist. I did, stole money and fucking everything. Okay. I actually started comedy there.

I was supposed to go into those cotton gin farms, but the farm work was just, I can't do spots. I have to do comedy. Oh, right. You're too far out. Yeah, and I actually met you, this is after the whole Cambodia debacle. I met you in Australia too,

when you did the comics lounge, I remember. I actually had a guest spot on your show now, did I remember it? Oh, damn, really? And then the MC goes, I remember. I actually had a guest spot on your show now, did I remember it? Oh, really? And then the MC goes, Ari, and does a pause, and of course people think, because you're the headliner there. That is you.

Yeah, and then I go out there, and I'm like, I'm from Estonia, I was so confused. But it's like, is the guy we came to see not coming? Exactly. And then they all go like, where's my ticket? Exactly. Did I buy the wrong one?

Wait, that's crazy, I met you in two other countries before here. And then you had a great joke about how you don't know any, like, you know, the trans people, you don't know any trans people that are not mentally ill. I said a bit about that, that was amazing. Oh yeah. That was great.

Did I do better? Yeah. There's no trans people that aren't mentally ill? You said they're all fucking crazy. Everyone I've known is literally insane. That was not one of my bets. It was. Really? You actually said're all fucking crazy. Everyone I've known is literally insane. That was not one of my bits. It was. Really?

You actually said kill all trans and then you had merch. Ha ha ha ha ha. Now I remember. Yes, and then you had the merch, hashtag kill trans. Hashtag kill all trans. That was your thing back in the day.

Yeah, because hashtags were bigger then. You were very popular back then. Twitter days. Yeah, you were on Twitch. Hi guys, today's episode of UB Trippers brought to you by Sheet Underwear, it's my favorite underwear. I'm gonna go out on a limb. It's not even a limb. Yeah, you were on Twitch. Hi guys, today's episode of Yubi Tripper is brought to you by Sheath Underwear! It's my favorite underwear.

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Hi guys, Ari Shaffir here to tell you a little bit about something about my friends and what they've noticed about me. What they've noticed is that I don't like paying too much for anything. And they said, Ari, there's something about you that doesn't like overpaying. I can't put my finger on it. Hmm. What is it?

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Yeah, she loves it. Sometimes I go in there and be like, hey, did you save any money today? She goes, why do you ask that? Why is that always the first thing that you ask? I don't know. The point is, let's get back to this Mint Mobile read. If you like your money, Mint Mobile's for you.

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The Booth Boys just suggested, so I wanna do some theme episodes too. And it's gonna be like trains, hostels, different things. They just suggested doing work visas as a theme. Like shift this episode hard and doing work visas as a theme. Uh-huh. Like shift this episode hard. Uh-huh. And go work visas. Uh-huh.

What's your feelings? Well, I don't, because the Booth boys are here, I don't want to express my real opinion. No, no, no, it's a suggestion or they would have stopped. No, you seem reluctant to talk about Canada. Yeah, you're really good.

Oh, no, no, let's go. I don't know. You ask me. No, you're really good. Oh, no, no, no, let's go. I don't know. You ask me. Now, my fault? Look at him. Look at, this is what they do in the Eastern European countries.

No, no, it was him. Take him, take his sister. Exactly. Okay, Canada. So I did the working holiday. I've done it in. I've done every country. I've done the UK one.

America doesn't have that program. You don't, okay. So I went to Canada, to Vancouver to do it. I waited, when you apply, you get that visa, it's 365 days you have time to enter the country. I entered on the 365th day, two hours before that visa expired. And then you get it for how long?

For one year. Oh, so start any time and you get a year for when you start. Exactly. Wow. And I picked by Vancouver because I missed the flight from New York to Toronto. How'd you get to Vancouver then?

Because the visa expired at 12 o'clock. Where'd you come from? Which way did you come? New York, I connected. I was thinking when I just chill and have fun. Yeah. And you know, then you start having fun, whatever, I extended, and then I waited

till the last day, got to Vancouver. I knew nothing about it. Went to a hostel, and you know when you sleep in the lobby and they keep waking you up because there's no sleeping in the lobby. But the check-in time is at three, this is six a.m., I'm nine hours. You think they'd have like a,

just like a quiet room for people who get there too early. Because it's not the first time it's happened. Yeah, the quiet room's called a room that you have to pay for, which I didn't want to do. That's called the quiet room for people who get there too early. Because it's not the first time it's happened. Yeah, the quiet room is called the room that you have to pay for, which I didn't wanna do. Yeah, right. That's called the quiet room. You're like, you can pay for the day ahead. You're like, you know I'm on a budget.

You know I'm on a fucking budget. Or they go, if you mess with the towels, it's $10. Like, fuck off. Exactly, exactly. Don't even give me the towels. Yeah. Just don't even give it to me. So, that's how I got there. And the way I found the, dude rent was so expensive.

You know when you're- Hong Koover, they fucked the fucking rent. All these goddamn Chinese possible at it. The Chinese. See, we don't agree on a lot. They're buying up all the property and then there's just all the, there's no apartments. We don't-

So everything goes up. We don't agree on a lot. You don't like trans people, I love them, you hate them. You say from river to the sea, I say both sides have their reasons. You say nuke them all. But one thing we agree on 100% is fuck the Chinese. Fuck the Chinese, god damn they suck. Vancouver, it's being ruined.

Do you understand that in Vancouver there's these two towers that look like Tom Cruise could do a mission in them. They're so beautifully architect built and they're all empty, you never see a light on because they're all investment apartments that are bought. And they used to be actually. Wouldn't it, wouldn't it, maybe?

Look at these towers. I mean every year there's new ones. And they're empty. Yeah, that's beautiful. They're all empty because these are all just money laundering. But wouldn't they make money renting them out? Absolutely.

Double the money? No, absolutely you do. But Ari, we're talking about trillions of dollars of investments. They don't want to get involved, right? Then you get a guy in there who's gonna run the kid and now there's the lawsuit, there's a body you gotta get rid of.

Of course. It's a dark episode, yeah. Of course. It's like why there's no Starbucks in Estonia. You know why? You know why? If you do Starbucks in Estonia, it's gonna make money like that.

But the money worth the effort, eat ass. We're not gonna open up, I have to open up a, then I have to get legislation. None of what you're saying makes sense to me. No, it does. Okay. Oh, it does? It does.

Wait, the money, what, to get it started? Even to have the meeting. Hold on, hold on. Let me just explain to you what you said. You're like, you're gonna make so much money, but to get started, eat ass. What would I glean from that? See, this is what my business manager tells me all the time.

He doesn't know which direction we're going. No, I mean like, even the meeting we have to have to open this department is too much already of my time to spend to make I don't know how much money starbucks are you gonna make in estonia with all the fees of opening all the million pesos whoever the fuck you use exactly yeah you know it's a fan car same thing we're getting filling the guys with uh filling the apartments with somebody who rents do you know they open a subway a kosher subway in jer, Hushleim, and they use the subway,

you know, mentality there, subway sandwiches, and they go like, all right, the cups, you know, you buy the cup, you fill it up, and they just didn't understand Jews, because we would just leave with our cup and come back the next day. If you see a friend like, don't buy a cup, here! They didn't sell a single large in three years.

It was all smalls. Exactly. Yeah, oh my God. It's like when they do self-checkout to Estonia. It was all smalls. Exactly. Yeah, oh my God. It's like when they do self-checkout to Estonia. It took us like five years to be like, well, you're bankrupting the store. Yeah, oh, that self-checkout's a dream. Self-checkout as a backpacker, brother.

God. Dude, in Australia, I would literally go to Whole Foods. One time, me and my girlfriend wanted to have a party, and we put speakers on through us carrots, you know? Boop-bop-beep-bop. You weighed him as carrots. Yeah. Oh yeah, it's so great. Okay Canada!

Here's a tip by the way for all the backpackers, Uber Eats, you're in another country, hey it never came. You do that twice, they go hey we're taking away your account like sick, I'm not staying here. Or the local app, there's always a local app, Foodie, Booty, foodie, delivery, band and all those. I asked my friend once and I was like,

wait, does that come out of the driver's pay or out of Uber Eats? And he goes, I'm busy eating. Anyway, go ahead. And it doesn't by the way. Okay, nice. That's the warranty they have, yeah. So Canada, so you get to Vancouver, you're hostile.

How are the hostels, expensive there compared to? Of course, I mean expensive. In Thailand you get the Vancouver, you're hostile. How hostile, is it expensive there compared to? Of course, I mean expensive. In Thailand you get the child and the breakfast for $3. It's not a full breakfast and it's not a full child. I'm not usually a joke guy by the way. Yeah, no, you're usually pretty serious about it. By the way guys, I'm very political and I'm doing the Tonight Show tomorrow.

But something hanging out with you. This is where my fucking vagabonding went. Okay, go ahead. I was looking for it. Oh, now I don't bring up Canada, now I'm the issue. This guy's reading books in the middle of the whole thing. Okay, go ahead. Hey, let's bring up the lonely planet.

Have you ever done that, that you get the lonely planet and then you go to the restaurant or the hotel that's not there because it's fucking 2004. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like where, it should be right here. It's a record store now? Tuk-tuk drivers in the middle of a bush. Yeah.

Oh, this was pre-revolution. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. This is 1993. And then after Uprising. Yeah, this one, Hong Kong was Great Britain. Yeah. Let's make Hong Kong Great Britain again. They gotta have that hat.

Oh, great merch idea. For the Chinese. Chinese. So, okay, so you get there. How long were you there for? One year exactly, the visa expires. Oh, wow. The visa expires.

What happens if you stay over your visa? Well, you can, but then it's a Commonwealth country. You get banned in all the rest of the ones. They hear about it. You know, there's like a UNESCO or whatever service they use to talk to the other countries. It's definitely not that. Because sometimes they just bill you more.

Like if you leave after your 30 days in places, like you owe some money. You owe us like another hundred bucks. Yeah, I remember I overstayed in Thailand. They were all like, ha ha ha. Yeah. Such a good pride. You're literally four bucks.

Yeah, and the back park is like, you're fucking me. Four dollars, I can't handle this. Yeah, it's so great. I knew so many backpackers were like, this is gonna be a devastating blow. I'm like, it's so great. I knew so many backpackers were like, this is gonna be a devastating blow. I'm like, it's $6. It's so funny, because I was playing play poor when I was there.

Oh, you were playing, I remember meeting you. You were playing play poor. Yeah, I was around backpackers. So I was like, I'll be you. You order the drinks like this. Let's have a round. You don't meet any backpacker who goes, let's have a round. I got the tower of beer.

Yeah, tower of beer, Jesus Christ. But yeah, I was around, I was in Childress and I was like, all right,, Jesus Christ. But yeah, I was around, I was in Childress and I was like, all right, it's fine. But yeah, I remember going to some national park, like, all right, $2 cover to get in. I was like, yeah, sure. And I turned around, I was like, are we friends?

And they're like hemming and hawing. I was like, ah, fuck, I played it too rich. Exactly. So, okay, so you're in Vancouver. Boom. How long? A year. What'd you do when you were there?

What'd you do for money? Well. Sure sounds like a work visa episode. That's what I'm saying. We haven't even touched it yet. We haven't even touched it yet. So. I mean, okay.

Hard shift work visa episode. We're 30 minutes in and we haven't even touched Vancouver yet. The Chinese own most of Vancouver. Oh, here's Spam. Oh, take the phone out. Hey, do you guys have got Ivermectin or anything? Oh, what a wonderful segment of the Irish.

Hello? Irish, if you're shipping. They hung up on me. Sure. Let's do work visas. Hello! They've been calling me for fucking two years to running Jack Gag on this. Three years.

They're just calling me to sell me more ivermectin. That's what Rogan doesn't tell you, all the side effects of ivermectin, which is calls from India. Really, they call you and sell you? Nonstop. Really? I asked them once, can you take me off your list?

Let's call Bunjeeb, we have to call this fucking. You can't call him back. Well, let's see, let's see the number back. I need 213 number, I know, just like. Let's call him back, potential spam, let's see, let's see the number back. I need 213 number I know, just like, ah! Let's call him back, potential spam, let's see. Well, you think I'm, hello? What the hell, bro? What the?

I don't think you can even do that. I'm usually very clean, actually. If you wanna put this number in DNC, please press one. And if you want to connect the call to a representative, then please press 2. Yeah, sure. Oh my god. He actually clicked it.

I've never heard somebody go. If you want to put this number in DNC. Oh, fuck off. Exactly. Watch the callback. OK, we're doing WorkVisas. It's a WorkVisas episode. What does that mean?

We're going to, it's a theme one. We're going to talk about the process of getting WorkVisas and visas in general. Travel visas visas visa. Full shift guys. So all the Vancouver stuff, we can trash that. We lost 40 seconds of this solid podcast where we just shit on Chinese people in Canada. I don't know if it'll apply. We'll save it for another episode

where we just shit on Chinese. That's another theme! That's another theme! We gotta write these themes down. Chinese. And when people say, don't do Chinese bad, have you been to China? They hate white people. they hate you too.

So shit on them all you want. Oh yeah, look at these people ask for fork. They say no eyeball and not me. No eyeball, no eyeball. Dude, no wonder China wants to attack us. Boy, I am white. I do fork and no eyeballs. Hey booth boys, keep the camera on me during those segments.

Hey booth boys. I love how, now you do this, Tony's fucking calling Puerto Rico garbage. I love how Rogan's like, can my guys just keep it down for a month? As long as you stay on a low enough level, we're fine. True, true, true. Tony got big, they noticed him.

Yeah, true. Nobody noticed, so abject failure. They'll notice that, Ari, trust me. If you clip that, put it. If I get this fucking new hair in Turkey, then they'll start noticing me. If they see that clip on TikTok, they'll be very upset. Oh yeah, well, all my numbers will go down if I talk about China.

First of all, okay, here's how we gotta get this, like, so it still gets numbers in China. All hail Mao. Ah, now they're white people, all ruining our culture. You have to do like a John Cena apology video now. Oh yeah. I'm so sorry.

No wait, I'm doing it wrong. Okay, okay, okay. Talk about visas. Wherever you had trouble, wherever you had them easy. Well, there's an open program. In Australia, if you're missing a foot and you're retarded, you can get a work visa. In where?

In Australia. They want everything on the fields. Because they need people. Because Australians are now so rich, they don't want to do that shit. So do you need backpackers? It's huge for local economy. It is weird how it's fun for the local economy.

And the backpackers are like, if we can get in, sick. We can stay longer than a month. All these farms fuck these backpackers over. Is that a real thing everywhere? Oh! Oh! You get a guy who, he, what do you, of course. Good point.

Yeah. Please, if you edit these clips, put the parts where I say something that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, he's always like, oh, okay, now I know. I got a visa, a tourist visa in Thailand and I was landing, I was like, get it, whatever. And they go like, where are you gonna stay? And I just put down like tourist hostel. And then they're like, usually they're like,

let's end like the name of your hostel is tourist hostel. And I was like, yes. And she was like, just go. That's how they're getting their shit together, but it's just taking a lot of time. They're still, yeah, yeah, exactly. So yeah, they go to the farms. There was an incident with Estonians,

like 15 years ago, because Estonians always go there. It's like 40,000 Estonians right now on the farms. Really? Yeah, digging a hole. Okay. The mining towns, you know, that's a big gig. Where they, sometimes they don't pay you. And you know, they control so much,

because they control your visa status. You have to do 81 work days, active work days. So it's like a three to six months period. But what counts as a work day, sometimes the farmer start to fuck you because they want to keep you around as long as possible because you get the fucking- So they say you haven't done your 81 days yet?

Yeah, exactly. They do that a lot. Took a long smoke break, I don't know. Exactly. And sometimes they claim they'll sign you off and they never do. What do you mean sign you off? Like let's say you did 20 days, they'll be like,

I'll give you the fuck, 80, you know, they do that too. Oh, they say we'll help you out. In return for favors or? Just for the, so you get that extension. Cause you get the second year visa in Australia only by doing farm work in the first year. How interesting. That's how you get the second year visa in Australia only by doing farm work in the first year. How interesting. That's how you get the extension.

Now I think you can just keep extending it. And all these backers are great, sounds great, but all these fucking farmers get. Australia's so expensive too for a backpacker. It's like first world prices. But you get paid well too. Oh you do, okay. Oh yeah, I mean $25 an hour maybe on the cotton farm.

If you're in the mines, you get like 80 bucks. When you, oh really? 80 bucks an hour. I have a friend who's been on the ground for eight years right now digging into the middle of the earth. He's about to pop up from Austin. He's the guy at the bottom of the ship in Waterworld. Oh, literally he is.

And he sees the fire, he's like, oh, thank God. He's such a money-oriented guy, I love how he's like, dude, I have like 2.5 million on my bank account. And I'm like, you've been underground for eight years. Yeah, you can see in the dark now. Great, you're gonna have a two-bedroom apartment in Round Rock with fucking lung cancer. What did you do when you were there?

Bartending. I've always used Bart, I'm a service industry guy. It's an easy job to have anywhere in the world. Even in Thailand, one point I ran out of money at Echo Beach Hostel. I just told them I'll work and then you get, it's five bucks a month, five bucks a night for the spot in the bunk bed.

But if you help the bar clean up, that's just for free. At the hostel? Wow. That's very popular. You can go to any hostel and tell them, can I clean up you? They go, please do. At the hostel? Mm-hmm. Wow. That's very popular, you can go to any hostel and tell them, can I clean up you? They go, please do, you'll just stay. Here's a room.

Yeah, here's a room. You get breakfast. Everything, yeah. You put the bananas in the pocket, so you get the fucking snack later. Yeah, I was in Cambodia, some island there, there was like the hostel workers, the ones that sold weed, we were like,

we got free weed, free food, free food. Free weed, free food, free pussy. That's what you get. Where else have you worked? What piece is hard to get? Well, Canada one used to be a lottery. Now it's much easier. Used to be a lottery.

It's like 80 slots per country. Maybe 2000, it's like allotted. Because Estonia's so small, we only get 80 or something. So then you get that. and I got the lottery. And I was very, no more stuff, notebooks? Notebook, yeah. Oh, you're writing some stuff there? Yeah, questions, I don't forget it, yeah.

It's super distracting. Oh really? So you get, now I forgot, China, what were we talking about? Work visas. This is the most chaotic podcast of Ireland by the way. So you get, now I forgot, China, what were we talking about? Work visas. This is the most chaotic podcast I've ever done by the way. Yeah. Oh, you're truly, oh, look at that. Nice that is.

Yeah, that's a good note. Welcome to the UB Trippin' Winner slash work visa slash. I know what it means. It means like to these people, is there a lot of fucking going on at these like farm stuff? Not hostels. Oh. Like temporary farm work. It these like farm stuff, not hostels, like temporary farm work. It's like summer camp, bro.

You're gonna fuck somebody. Such a threat the way you said it. I know so many guys who go into these, this is Australia for me, you go into the, you know, so far, you go to the cotton gin farm or you go to the mining town, you go to the mining town or whatever. And then the owner of the farm,

some fat guy who's got a pretty wife because he's actually rich. I mean, farming is a big business. So he's got a hot wife and he's like, bang, and the wife working for this guy, bang, the wife work for, get that girl pregnant, he moves out. He divorces, she divorces, gets half the money,

you share the money, whatever. People suck and fuck. In ski towns, in Vale, whatever, it's all Australians and they're all doing blow. Irish or Australian. Yeah. Every ski town is Irish or Australian. They just go ski and they go to South America when it's in the summer to ski more. And then, right, just blow and fuck it. They sleep 10 to ski more. Yeah. And then right. Just blow and fucking.

Yeah. They sleep 10 to a house. So many Australian girls have been to bunk bed, 16 people with the fan, and then they just walk in and they just go, all right, boys, pick a hole. It's crazy. It's crazy. Do you know how many times I've been in the bottom bunk while the, uh, while someone else is banging and you're just along for the ride.

It sucks. Sucks. It's always been Germans for me. Germans get, yeah, German girls always, they come in a group of three and then the Australians just run a train on them. That's a classic. I meant the German boys.

German boys too, they fuck all the... They fuck. The Brits are around, but Australians are everywhere. In backpacking culture, it's like Australians are the biggest race. Yeah. They get drunk the most. They lead the party.

They fuck the most. And always, there's a lot of Australian girls who are like from Sydney or Melbourne. They have rich parents. And that's how they rebel against their dad. They get fucked. I know. And by the way, public service announcement for all the listeners here from Australia. Your dad has hurt you and you need to get back at him.

No, no, yeah, and we support the rebellion. Me and Oryshef here support the rebellion. I never really got, no, one time I got laid at a hostel in like Thailand. One time? I was like, yeah, I wasn't great at it. You know what? You can't get laid in Chiang Mai, you just can't get laid.

You know what's the so ironic part about like traveling culture? When I used to be so poor in hostels, I couldn't buy the drinks for girls, so that would be kind of, make me not cool at the bar. Now that I have enough money to stay at the nice hotel, and also I had a bunk bed, no room, so you're in a bunk bed and no money to buy the girls drinks.

Now I'm in a hotel, I have money to buy the girls drinks, but there's no girls at the lobby. There's no girls. These fucking, these four season lobby bitches are stiff. They have people already. They have people already and they're stiff as a board. They're like, can I buy you a drink? Like my ex-husband's buying this drink.

And you definitely don't want to be the 30 year old guy who goes to the hostel from the four seasons. No, no, no, you gotta stay there. That's not cool. You're right, it's a super low level, if you go slightly above that, now you're the rich guy. What, you have a solo room? Whoa.

Dude, you give a hostel bitch a good shower, a separate shower? Yeah. You're cheating, she's a princess. I hooked up in an RV in Banaru and it was somebody from the tent, so like, what? I should air conditioning?

She was like, you're my boyfriend. Exactly. Yeah. So what's like a hard visa to get? What's a super easy one? What do you gotta lie on to get in places? Because some where you gotta get ahead of time, and some you just land and get them.

Oh, well. Work visas, and should we just do work visas? Well work visas are not like that. They're always you have to apply. And there's the Commonwealth countries which is the Great Britain, Australia and Canada. And those countries always swap around and suck and fuck. You can do whatever you want.

Canadians are, dude Canadians are crazy too. Like the boys from like Alberta when they have money. When they get that rick peak money, they can work on the oil rigs, they get that rick peak money and they go to like fucking Bali, holy shit. I remember I was in a hostel, just nappy noo noo, like sleeping, having a nap, you know? I heard nappy noo noo, is that an expression?

What is this? Look, with a blanket. And I was taking a nap and then I wake up and I hear these, I hear, you know when you hear somebody go, you hear this and I look on the table. This is like your version of how high, where he waves the joint in front of you, you just hear a sniff and you're like, where's that coming from?

Are you a coker? Only marijuana, never been anything up my nose or never tried it even. I don't know, it doesn't. Are you saying you don't want your mom to see this or you're saying for real? She's dead by the way. Oh, good.

No, I don't. That is good. Okay. All right. This is the craziest podcast I've done. So you. Do we both have ADD? I think we both have.

Oh yeah, for sure. Because I have ADD, but usually the other guy is the guy who keeping me on track. You're throwing me. That's a good question. Do you need a work visa for every show you do in other countries? Yeah. No way, really?

But you can get a performer's permit or stuff like that. But do you really need that or do you just pay you to do it? Because I never got the work visas for China or Thailand. I've gotten them when I've done transfer. Interesting.

Really? I. Really? I went to get a work visa for China, I went to do a China run, and I got a work visa, and I was like, hey, what are you doing there? I'm like working, it was the embassy in LA, and they were like,

where's your letter of invitation from the government? Where's all this? And I was like, I don't have any of that. And then I called them, they're like, what the fuck you telling me you're working for? I don't know. Yeah, I've done a few of those. They said, go back in line and tell them you're not working. I'm like, they're like, what the fuck you telling me you're working for? I don't know. Yeah, I've done a few of those.

They said, go back in line and tell them you're not working. I'm like, I was just in line. And they go, so you know how you can't tell them apart? It's both ways. So just go back in the line and say you're there for. Change up the accent? No, they just go back. They're just all, you're just all around out of them.

They can't tell you apart. So I just went right back in. You know they do that a lot. That is crazy. Yeah. If you're an immigration officer. They're just like whatever, next, next, next. Me and you are amazing.

Dude, everybody's getting, I don't know who the fuck this is. Everybody's scared. Yeah. Go, go, go. People, men, women, I don't know. This is just a. Seem about right.

Wait, so you need to work for each other to work in those places. Does the gig arrange that for you? The gig, yeah, yeah. I've gone out of some gigs. I had that one time with China too, that I got a gig, but then they also said, yeah, I just lie, and I remember it was a good way for me

to get out of the gig. I was like, I don't feel comfortable with that. I have one for Canada. Early on when we go to Canada from LA, Saskatoon, places like that, it was like, hey, keep this off the books. We don't have the money. We're flying you up there and putting you up. That's about as much budget as it was like, hey, keep this off the books, we don't have the money, we're flying you up there

and putting you up, like that's about as much budget as we got, we can't do this in the books. So you have to lie, and you have to think of a friend you're visiting, have something, like have someone in mind from college, just say they live in Canada now, Suzy. But have someone in mind so you can get the lie, like what's Suzy up to, like well, she majored in this. You gotta have someone in mind.

And so I would do that all the time. And then I got a gig at Edmonton at the House of Comedy for Brunson and Tammy. And then I was like, I'm just here to visit a friend. They're like, okay. And how long you know them? I'm like, oh, since college. They're living up here.

And so, you know, like, what are you gonna do? Like, maybe fish in. But we'll just hang out. It's like, you're not working? I'm like, no, no, just hanging out with Suzy. And they're like, you guys are romantic? I'm like, no, no, nothing like that. They're like, okay, so you're not working? Like, no, no, just hang out with Suzy. And they're like, you guys are romantic? They're like, no, no, nothing like that. They're like, okay, so you're not working?

Like, no, like, so this flyer for your show, is that anything to do with what you're doing? They just turn the screen around. They do that. And I was like, fuck, fuck. And he goes, you know they filled out the paperwork? And I was like, what? They go, yeah, it's all on the books,

you don't have to lie. I'm like, no? They go, yeah, it's all on the books. You don't have to lie. I'm like, no, I didn't know that. Yeah, immigration officers, they do this thing. There's a, I don't know the direct translation for it, but it's called hooking. It's like an interview format. You ask a question about the answer that they gave you. That's how they do immigration.

Just do it. So let's. Get me, you be the officer. I'm okay. Okay, Mr. Jew. Yeah. Okay, Mr. Jew. This is for Lebanon. You're coming to Palestine.

So you're entering Palestine. So what do you do for work? I just, am I saying, hold on, sidebar. Am I saying what I do or am I trying to? Let's try, you try to get away. Okay, okay. Sorry, back up to it again. So Mr. Jew, what do you do for work?

I am in, I import and export. Already, I mean, fuck, fuck. Please, I, I, I, I import, export. I literally couldn't think of any profession. Okay, well. Oh, you do it to me. Let's do you. I am Mr. Jew, you are Palestine. Okay. Okay. I'm coming to do a gig. Yeah, hold on, I me, let's do it to you. I am Mr. Jew, you are Palestine. Okay.

Okay. I'm coming to do a gig. Yeah, hold on, I need a knife for this. Oh, because, yeah. Yeah, okay, no. Hi, Mr. Jew. How are you? What?

What? So, your name is Ari, that's interesting. Wait, I don't know how I'm hooking you, though. I gotta be the hooked. You gotta be the hooker. Oh, yeah, because you can't do the thing on the street. Yeah, I don't know where I was going. Yeah. Okay, I know one, okay, I got one. I gotta be the hooked. You gotta be the hooker. Yeah, cause you can't do the thing I'm explaining. Yeah, I don't know where I was going. Yeah.

Okay, I know one. Okay, I got one. Okay, oh, you. Yeah, I got one, yeah. I'm in Palestine? Yeah, you're in Palestine, I'm in the, yeah. Purpose of travel? I'm just vacation.

Oh, where are you going? I'm going into Gaza City and then little Gaza town. Oh, have you been to Gaza before? No, I'm excited about it though. Oh, you're excited. Have you been to here before? No, I No. And what do you do for work? I'm working at HR, the company I work at. How long have you worked at HR?

This one probably almost five years. This one almost five years. Can you pause? I'm crushing this now. You are. No, no, no. It's improved by a lot. And which company you're...

Also, I'm not an immigration officer, but they're way better at this. And what company did you work for before? USF&G. It's a sugar company. So now if I Google this, is this going to show up? Yeah. So you're going to be able to see the company. Yeah.

So you're going to be able to see the company. Yeah. So you're going to be able to see the company. So you're going to be able to see the company. So you're going to be able to see the company. So you're going better at this. And what company did you work for before? USF&G, it's a sugar company. So now if I Google this, is this gonna show up? I don't think it'd be public, maybe, I'm not sure, but I don't know, we didn't upload anything. Okay, this is going already terribly wrong because I'm not good at this. Oh yeah, okay, nice, one one.

No, that was great, the one one, that was good. The first one. Where's the hooking? So hooking is that I ask. And then you ask again? Because people always, when you create alibis, where do you go? You go, where did I work? Or let's say you come with a girlfriend, right?

We separate you, that's what they do. We separate you, ask you questions. And you've already rehearsed. How long we've been together, five years. But what's your favorite color, blue? But they won't ask you, it's not like an interview format, they do, they ask the first question, a question about your answer, you have an answer,

a question about that answer. So it's like how long you've been together, where'd you meet? Where'd you meet, yeah, oh in Amsterdam, oh when did you go there? Then you say that, I Google when were you in Amsterdam, just to see, then I talk, oh what was your, what did you do in Amsterdam, like you know. So creating this alib, what was your, what did you do in Amsterdam? Like, you know, so creating this alibi is really hard.

And then you ask the other one, where did you meet? And they're like, fuck, we didn't rehearse this. And I've been through, I've been to a couple of those, and I've never had anything to hide, but I remember thinking how good they are. They're always, those immigration, they're always really good about that technique of like, they'll ask you as soon,

and they ask you straight up too. I had one in Canada, like, are you, what are you doing here? I'm like, I'm working, I'm here for the festival. And it's like, okay, you've been here before. Like, yeah, like, do you have any grenades? I'm like, what? What?

And she was like, I just want to see her reaction. Oh, okay, I've never heard of that technique. That's crazy. How many places have you got these work visas in? Canada and Australia. I got one in New Zealand, I never went to do it, and London. London, what did you do in London?

Bartending and comedy. God, bartending's a good skill for traveling. Such skill, dude, and the chicks are right there! Yeah, great for an immigrant too, because also most of them are fucking under the table, you can steal and... We had a way, I will not say that name, at a comedy club I worked at,

it was a bartender who was like, do not pay me a salary, let me just work for tips. She was, I don't know, what kind of running from the law or whatever, she goes, I can't be on the record. And they're like, all right, sweet, we'll save $5 an hour. So probably no work visa, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it was just like, just keep the tips. In Canada, when I had the work visa. We say five hours now. So probably no work visa. Yeah, yeah. And it was just like, just keep the tips.

In Canada, when I had the work visa, you could, what do you mean? I say it like I'm from Quebec. Canada. Yeah, okay. It's the letters. Yeah. Okay.

One of the... So yeah, you worked in Canada. There was a, the only job you can't do with the work visas usually is strip club or if the whorehouse is permitted you can't do those either. Why? I don't know why. It's interesting. It literally says on the visa there's no strip club.

Wow. So you worked there, you made money there? Yeah. And I worked during the year, I worked in a marijuana store when it was legalized, and I worked during the year it was legalized. So it was a crazy process, because before they would get the marijuana from all these Colombians,

do you know when it's like half legal? Same as Amsterdam, Spain is like that. So then you have to basically only do it with fucking drug dealers, kind of like the California Hills thing. Those are not. Yeah, early California when it got dealers, kind of like the California Hills things. Those are not... Yeah, early California, when it got legal, it was like armed guards all the time because we're not allowed to put this in banks.

We had banks, exactly. So it was in Canada. And I always got a hundred extra bucks every Friday because they would give 18 grand putting my backpack and I take it under the name of Rodrigo to another guy on the corner. And those guys usually get, if there's any situation, those guys usually get something. There was another, I worked at the dispensary where there was, the way I got hired, that's so funny.

A hundred bucks. Yeah, I know it's. Mass, should be more. Well, also I stole with every high five. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right. So we're all good, you know, I'm like a Robin Hood. The benefits. To myself, yeah. Steal from the rich, give to you. know, I'm like a Robin Hood. The benefits. To myself, yeah.

Steal from the rich, give to you. Exactly, I am poor. Yeah. So I remember I got a job there the way I got, I go for the interview, there's a nice girl, Stephanie, who's married to the guy who owns the place. And then there's another Estonian guy there working, and he hears my accent, and he peeks through the back door,

you know, goes like, hey, what's up? You up? And I'm like, oh, and I say in Estonian, he says it in Estonian in front of the boss, he goes, just so you know, I'm stealing so much money. They just said it? The Estonian guy, in Estonian, in front of the girl, of course, I'm stealing so much money here, I'll recommend you. And then in English goes, this guy,

oh, I know this guy, he's a kiss on the lips, amazing employee. Wow. And then he goes, oh, I'm stealing so much money here, I'll recommend you. And then in English goes, this guy's, oh I know this guy, he's a, oh, kiss on the lips. Amazing employee. Wow. So apparently this other Estonian guy stole and then the Colombian, whoever brought the, this was during the legalization area,

so it was very sketchy. They want the money back. Oh no. Because they start collecting these debts because they understand legalization is coming. Then you're kind of fucked. Because now it's a federal issue. You know, it's a federal issue now.

So now the government gets involved and now it's way shadier because the government kind of turns a blind eye if you do something shady, you know, now. So they come, so they send some muscle, they send some two guys with a leather jacket and they have a gun. They don't look, they look like fucking good fellows guys. They're like older, it's not threatening, but they keep the, they want you to see the strap

just to let you know they mean business. I'm in the back of the house. I'm just fucking weighing the stuff. And then a guy shows up with, they show up with the guns and then the front, the guy who works at the front, Rasta guy, he's like a weed guy, you know, he's already sweating bullets.

And I'm watching this go down through the window, that's only the one way so I can see what's happening. And they come and they go, we're looking for an Estonian. And of course the guy in the front goes, and my friend, the other Est other, he's here with me and he points through the, he points, goes like this through the door and closes the door. So then we watched this go down and the guy with the dreadlocks, he don't got it.

You know, he's already, he's not going to be cool about it. They go, he's in the back. You know, he's in the back. He folds immediately. So then the guy go, open up the door, and then I open up the door, I go out there. And then the muscle guys, they have a third guy there who's apparently the guy they do business with. He's like a nerdy guy,

and he's here to recognize the Estonian. He goes, that's not the one. And then he goes, no, he literally looks at me and goes, he's not the one. And then two Muslim guys look at me go, where are you from? I go, Estonia. They go, how many fucking Estonians are in here? Apparently they had some previous problems too.

Whoa. That was like an exciting, that was like a fun job to have. That was like a side job I had. Damn, so when you're in these places, you know that your year's coming up. It's 365 days. Or wherever it is, Australia, like six months. 365 days.

Also Australia year? Yeah, because I didn't do the farm work to get the second year visa. That's how you get it. Are you trying to do a bunch of tourism stuff, or are you just like, I'm just living in a city for a year? I live in a city, and when comedy started, that was the goal.

That's why I moved to Vancouver as well, amazing comedy scene and all that. But yeah, you do bartending jobs. I've always loved, I mean for money, I love doing like city jobs, being a waiter. Wait, so also if you have a work visa, that means you can do, do you have to do just that job? Or can you do that?

Any job, any job, no, no. So you can do that and then also do a comedy gig? Absolutely, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's great. It was great, yeah. It's perfect for that. Yeah. A lot of comics should do that.

Yeah, it's a great way to move around. Like the dream when I was in hostels and stuff was like website design. Yeah, yeah. So like once a month, I gotta find a place to upload stuff. Digital nomad. Yeah, and then it's like, here's what I worked on, upload, and go back to whatever.

You don't need an office. You know how many cities those digital nomads are ruining right if you go to Portugal They'll fucking stab you if they see you with a satchel on a MacBook because they because their local economies Fucking ruined because they get all the nice apartments of course and they move but they don't really Because you're all the money you're not bringing in any money You're just taking up a fucking space because you're making all your money with a scam with crypto You're spending it all.

You don't take any from the local, you spend all. Only spend, no make. Maybe the rent part, but local work for, I mean, that's not how a city's supposed to work. You're supposed to move to the city, do a job that's in the city, paying local taxes, income tax. You're supposed to be part of the healthcare system.

You pay that, that's your slot in the city, your allocated slot. But because you're doing some crypto scam and you're through fucking Russians and Pakistanis, you're not. You know what happened in America? They were like during COVID, they were like, hey, I don't have to go, I'm working at Facebook. I don't have to be near a Facebook office anymore.

I'm a coder. Let me go live in Austin. Let me go live anywhere. And let me go live in the Czech Republic. They'll let me in. Absolutely. And then people are like, okay, you know, and I'm still. And let me go live in the Czech Republic. They'll let me in, I can work in there. And then people are like, okay, you know, and I'm still getting these New York prices

and working in the Czech Republic. And then the boss is like, oh no, John's in the Czech Republic, it's cool. And they go, wait, why don't we just pay someone Czech prices? And then John's like, no, no, no, I'm an American. Like, yeah, but you're right next door to some other guy who did just as good a job as you.

For a quarter of the money. And now the American workforce has been fucked. Yeah, yeah, those digital moments. you're right next door to some other guy who did just as good a job as you. For a quarter of the money. Exactly. And now the American workforce has been fucked. Yeah, yeah, those digital nomads. They fuck themselves. And then they ruin communities. I mean, Bali, perfect example. So it's all work away offices and stuff.

It's all like, yeah, digital nomads, hot chicks, they get a nice house with a pool and they just fucking sell their pussy online and all the tax money goes to America or something, you know, they do only fans or they do some or they're like rich and they have a dad that gave them a business to sell soap. Just the daughter shuts the fuck up, you know, and does something. And then they're in Indonesia and a party like, Oh my God, traveling and all the local Indonesian. And it's fucking up the price because they're like, I'll pay seven dollars for a beer. Everyone's like, it's 40 cents. Russians did that with Thailand. That's why when you go to a tuk tuk the price because they're like I'll pay some dollars for a beer everyone's like it's 40 cents Russians did that with

Thailand that's why when you go do a to talk in Thailand, they're all Russian mafia now and they go like minimum 200 baht now Because they're like that's what we can get if you go to Phuket is literally Russia the Russian what starts playing It's literally what's everywhere literally small Thai girls walk up to you guys and they go trust with you I didn't be no full Russian because they that you and they go, trust me, I didn't be there. Full Russian, because that's where they go. This is why we bleep out fucking names of places. Because we're gonna ruin it. I don't want a bunch of people going like, oh, I heard it's cool, let's go there and ruin it.

Yeah, oh exactly, dude, that's happening. So then you have to go, now Thailand, like Khopanjan, the empire has fallen. It's dog shit now. So you have to go, you just keep have to go. I've heard good things from my backpacking friends that are still out there fucking no SIM card, no nothing. I've heard good things about Nepal now

that it's developed enough so you feel safe, just like Thailand was 15 years ago. Yeah, it's this in between thing. I should have Thailand by Russians. A significant influx of Russian tourists and residents. Puket. Yeah, nice. Yeah, look, Russian only businesses, that happens.

It's Russian only. This is what the Jews do in New York and also the Asians, the Chinese, where they only put the ads out for the apartments in either Hebrew or Mandarin. In Vancouver, easier to get an apartment in Chinese than it is in English. Yeah, and then if your Chinese friend says, oh, I found one, and you apply there,

like what are you doing here? Like for the apartment, they're like, ah, it's just been rented. By Jing Ping, yeah. Yeah, and then they just rent it later. Yeah, exactly, yeah. So those digital nomads, yeah, Portugal is like, they're going through a fucking big thing.

Where do you wanna go, where did you wanna go work? I mean, you're here now, I guess, doing the same thing. Yeah. Oh that's interesting. Every picture America is a place you would go work away. But I'm doing yeah but now it's like stand-up comedy only you know. Yeah that's pretty cool. Where did you want to go that you never got to? I've been every country in Europe, every country in south-east. You've been every country in Europe? Okay if you're gonna if we're gonna go into st yeah you can make turkmenistan or start massedonia something like that massedonia been been been been been been been let's go european union let's go let's go like that is is estonia eastern europe or is that just scandinavia it's close to we like to say northern europe but our behavior traits are definitely Eastern European, but they

hate that. Every time I say I'm Eastern European, all these Estonian comments are always like, we're actually North, because we want to be Finland and Scotland. You want to be Scandinavia. We want to be so bad. But if you go to our streets and you take a tram and you eat a dumpling in your mouth, every Swedish person looks at you like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's funny, I was talking to Ryan Chang about it.

It was like, where does Scandinavia, it's like there's three Europe's. There's Europe, Europe, there's Scandinavia, and there's Eastern Europe was talking to Ron Chang about it. It was like, where does Scandinavia, it's like there's three Europe's. There's Europe Europe, there's Scandinavia, and there's Eastern Europe, and then Greece is another thing. But we're definitely not like Romania or Macedonia. You're not like them. Definitely not. But you're not like, you're looking Burke and Burke. Not like a hole.

Yeah. You're right off Helsinki though. And that's where all the Finnish people come to fuck our women, and they're fucking up our economy, by the way, they fuck our that's where all the Finnish people come to fuck our women. They're fucking up our economy by the way. They fuck our women and buy all the booze. They're the ones that our economy actually relies on. They don't fuck it up. Wait, Finnish vodka is like a huge thing.

They go to Estonia? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. The prices in Finland are insane, dog. That's it. In Estonia, you can get a. Very aggressive dog on that. In Estonia, for the same money in Finland, like for a thousand euros in Estonia,

I get a mansion with two hookers I can shoot with a crossbow, it's in the menu. Yeah. Ah! Ah! In Finland, you get a fucking apartment with two whiskies. Yeah. And they send you a cleaning fee later.

Dude, I- In Estonia, you can burn down, you can keep the dead hookers in the building, burn it down. And they say, thank you. I got to go. I really want to go. It's cheap. Yeah.

Yeah. But not just that. I just seems cool. It seems like the sauna culture is really cool. Sauna cultures are amazing. Listen, Estonia is amazing. The silence of the bog. When you go into the bog, the silence, you're in a sauna, take out,

pussies out, takes out. Nobody, there's no problems with nudity What do we the bog the bog? It's the bog so is it like saunas out in the woods What's the what do you mean the bog and the song you know what the bog is just like the fog and the in the woods? Out there. It's the fog and it's the bog Because it's the what and it's the bog, because it's the, what is it, the swamp, swamp. It looks like Barry Weiss.

The bog is a swamp, right? Remember that Barry Weiss Rogan episode where she goes, Tulsi Gabbard's a toady for Syria, and Joe Rose, like, what does that mean? And she goes, I think it means what that means. Jamie, look that up. And he goes, no, no, what does the word toady mean? She goes, I think I'm right.

And he goes, then just tell me. She keeps going, Jamie, look that up, look that up. What the fuck is bog? It's a folky swamp, am I correct? Okay, there you go. See. Oh yeah. I don't like that they say poorly drained soil.

Hey, this is a rich soil. That seems like where they make a scotch. Okay, go, go, go, go, go, go. Go Estonian bog. Just put Estonian bog in it. Just do it, why are you guys not doing it? Just do it. Just stop, don't be scared. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, who might run away and give you a smile. Nice bear? Yeah, nothing like Canadian where it's gonna rip you apart and keep you as a fuck toy.

You know they do that, they bring you back to the cage. The cave cage. And keep you alive? They keep you alive, just nibble on you. Wait, so there's a sauna out there? No. We do sauna, I have a sauna in my apartment. I had a sauna before I had the bedroom.

I hear they all have that. And we sauna every day, you get that tranquility. In the heat, you sweat with your friend, balls out, you open up to him, you say things in the heat and the haze, you don't even know. Then you go out to the bog, you take a dip in the ice cold water.

There's no highway, even in the country, we don't have these American fucking six that are hum, the hum. See that's what America always gets me. I looked for an apartment in Los Angeles and at the back looked over a highway and I was like, oh, it's a highway. She goes, it's like white noise.

It's like the ocean. And I'm like, well, it's not exactly like, this lady was so wanting to sell his apartment or like rent it out. And I was like, it's not exactly like the ocean. She goes, yes it is. It's exactly like the ocean. Like, all right, let's get out of here.

The hum. Beep beep, ah, some guy getting stabbed. It's the, yeah, so. It's real quiet. The stone is really quiet. And if it's like, if it's winter, you know, snow cause insulation because it's all on the trees.

You start hearing your heartbeat and the blood in your veins flow because it's so quiet. You hear your body functioning after that sauna and you're just sitting and steaming in the snow. Wait, wait, wait. These are out in the bog, these saunas? Yeah, there's saunas everywhere.

So you drive out to them? And the bog is everywhere. We have the most amount of bog in the world, by the way. So you drive out, whoa. Look at this, this is where I live. It's like a Tomesco. Tallinn Smoke Sauna. Oh, it's a smoke one. There's all kinds of different ones, but the smoke sauna is amazing. It's like a Tomesco. Tallinn Smoke Sauna. Oh, it's a smoke one.

There's all kinds of different ones, but the Smoke Sauna is amazing. It's part of our culture. And look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this. Look at these fucking nymphs off to the left. Oh fuck, how did society, they started. This is what we're doing, actually. Have you watched the movie, Meet Saul Marr?

Oh yeah. This is how we live. That's literally Estonia. Go up, go up, up, up, up. Yeah, that one. No, no, down, down, down. No, no, right, right, up. Yeah. That one. No, no, no, no, no. No. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. That one. And that's nice. Yeah. And you go there. Out in the woods. And so who's paying? See the one on the left there? Yeah.

Who, who runs that? Is that a business? No, that's probably, yeah. See, this seems like a tourist farm. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. See traditional Estonian sauna experience. Hopps is an amazing spot with an amazing forest and an amazing ocean. Oh, look at that steam coming up behind. I know. So this is where the Jews and the Estonians meet up, in the Schwyz.

This is also where the gays and the Jews and the Estonians meet up, the Schwyz. What's the Schwyz? Schwyz is a Yiddish word for sweat. And we call the building the Schwyz. Also, we were the biggest fans of the Jews. Of the Yudin. Why not?

Well... You can't play, well, we don't like this. Anything with tip in it, we're like, we're not fans of. Oh look, Leanne's in that one. Hey, ah, not exactly. Wait, let's get back to work, Vizus. We'll do Estonia another time. You have to come to Estonia.

I have to come to Estonia. We should take a trip there. Yeah, you should do a gig there. If we have like four days. Estonia used to be, when you go to Edinburgh, it was like, that's the one gig you get out of Edinburgh. Yeah. With some guy who books a show in Estonia.

My former manager, Louis, yeah. Oh really? Yeah, of course. We'd be like, hey, you wanna go? And then right from Edinburgh, what's his name? Evan DeMaree, he got that gig. Yeah, Evan DeMaree. And it was like, oh sick, I just got another five day gig in Estonia.

And I'm like, why didn't they ask me? Yeah. We didn't know you would come. Well, that's how you ask. Yeah. How much do these work visas cost? $300 to $600 mostly. And then you're set for the year.

And then you're set for the year. Or the six months or whatever it is. And then you're set for the year, yeah. It's mostly, I've never heard a six month one. I think it might be American going to Australia or other people going to Australia. I heard it's like you can work for six months up until you're like 26 years old.

No, it's a year and now they raised, because they need more slaves, they raised the age from 30 to 35. They keep going up. Now there's 35-year-olds with 19-year-olds at these hostels fucking. Oh, getting in there. Oh, they're creeps.

The older ones are just creeps. At a hostel it's always funny, there's always that one guy. Because we're all. Because they're for sex. Because we're all young people having the time of our life and this guy's on his last leg. Like hostel is a crazy spot where those people, there's a guy going through the fucking.

It is, because there is a lot of fucking, but it's like, it's not about that. It's not about that. And then somebody hears, like I heard there's a lot of fucking at these places. You're like, dude, chill. We're playing card games mostly. I'm meeting a guy from Brazil.

I'm talking about fucking his childhood. Is there a lot of trade on like info about where the other tourist like work spots are? Yeah, oh, a lot of trade. If you find a good farm, you swap, there's a lot of groups on Facebook. I also, my primary backpack years were when Facebook, the groups were a thing.

But right now, you can be in Bolivia and go work visa Bolivia, youth hostel Reddit, and you'll find info. Isn't there like a farm, some sort of farm website? Like Work on Farms or something with farms? There's gotta be something like that. Good question. It's like work on a farm.

Did you say good question to your own question? No, because he wrote one. It does sound like that. Oh, any loopholes? Yeah, the whole thing. You go to the farmer, you pay him to sign you off. But then also, see this is the thing also, you're committing immigration fraud,

which is like an international crime, and that can also come to bite you in the ass in the future, even if you got signed off. So that was the only thing, because always my dream was moving to America. I never wanted to ruin my chances with that That's the thing. It's like I said if I get cut crop farming. There's a farm website indeed. No Is it wolf is it what?

Wwof Oh farm work farm work calm. It might be that oh might be wolf Yeah, well, they just all they're just like it's something to an organized you be woof. Yeah, well they just like, something to organize you. Oh, woofing. Yeah, you go work and live on their farm. Woofing is a thing, yeah, you live on their, but that woofing is like the primary scam for these farms because on the woofing, you sometimes don't, most of the time you don't even get paid.

Because you need, because you need that extension and then they fuck you. This is just Saudi Arabia, little mini Saudi Arabias. Though you can't go anywhere, you need to, ugh. Inshallah. Dude, it's so funny how some of these sites started well, like Couchsurfing was such a cool, good idea. As soon as we fuck, yeah.

And now it's Uber, what a wonderful thing. A hardware, a hardware. I'll drive you, I'll drive, give me 10 bucks, I'll drive where you're going. Give me 10, I need a side hustle, my friend. Give me 10 bucks, I'll drive you, I'll drive, give me 10 bucks, I'll drive where you're going. Give me 10, I need a side hustle, my friend. Give me 10 bucks, I'll drive you to the airport. And now, and you know that it's Uber for women, but when, but-

What is that, badly drive? Like can't stay in your lane? Hard stops at lights for no reason? We agree on China and keep the women in the back seat. Yeah. No, just stop right here, my gate's right here. No, just stop right, my gate's right here. Just stop right here.

Ma'am, just stop. So they did Uber for women, which is like women for women, so you don't get as much. Were there, wait, but Uber weren't a thing? Every app, every ride share app. Yeah, every ride share app. Listen, men, we will find. There's gonna be a lot of bleep in this episode.

We need a cover word for, just a straight bleep. We need another word. Grape. Yeah, I don't know if that'll cover it. Grape. Something unrelated. A good sexual time. That's too long.

Men will always make you have a good sexual time, no matter what, we'll find a way to. Yeah. Sadly. Yeah. To. Sadly. Yeah. I used to. Couchsurfing was so cool, yeah go ahead. Remember when there were like stand up workshops

were popular with clubs, you know, they would do like Tuesday stand up workshop. I would always, whenever they would invite me to do, I would always say, men, if you're starting comedy, the only way you'll make it, all you gotta do is not. You'll outlive the. Yeah. And apparently, statistically, it turns gotta do is not you'll outlive the and apparently statistically it turns out

this is nearly impossible to do. So if you don't you'll make it. There's like eight comics who have it. Literally, literally. If you go to a green room now, it's fucking skimmed out. It's not that bad. So it's very bad. So they did women for women, so they did women for women.

And then of course, they're put on a wig. Pick you up, click. But like you're on the hook. They have you on, I remember when like. Yeah, then you'll get the, you'll get a bunjeeb fucking. But I remember when Tinder became a thing and women were like, I'm so worried about meeting this guy. I'm like, why?

There's a record of it now. As before, it's like my friend told me there's a guy. I met some guy. It's always bad if you have to tell a woman, relax, there's a record of it. Relax, it's gonna be fine. It's like blind date for a guy, you know? It's like the worst case scenario for a guy, blind date,

is that she's fatter than in the pictures. Worst case scenario for a girl, I have to bite into the fucking leather in the car just so my parents get closure. Hey can you turn on this radio? I'm a chain too. Yes, scrape your name in here. Yeah, literally. What other questions are we not asking about work pieces? Wait, but you asked me a question and I started talking about **** for some reason.

That guys will always... Extending your. Oh, couch surfing. A woof away, yeah, yeah, yeah. Couch surfing, and now woofing is a great thing. Couch surfing is so good though. I almost wanted to do it myself. You just make this bitch suck your dick

or you're not gonna get the visa, you know. Yeah, it's the creeps. Men will always. I was in Myanmar and there was two like Hollywood people. I don't know, the producer was, I did it quite a bit. You mean ****. God damn it. You mean, you mean good sexual time. Yeah, we gotta use the word Chad every time we come here.

Chad? No. Oh, he's not a Chad. Listen, men will always be a Chad and Chad it up. God damn it. Chad means something in English, right? In England, isn't a Chad something? Yeah, Chad is like,, you mean Chav?

Maybe Chav. Chav is the name of something. But Chad is American for like a guy who's like a douchebag, you know? Well, it's gone through. Is that the Chad tattoo? It's gone through many iterations. Now it's Chad. Thank you, yeah.

Well, now it's right. There's a Chad tattoo of Thailand. Was that the Chad tattoo or something else? It's when you have like scrape up from driving your moped too fast? Oh, it's the kiss of... There's a pavement? There's a, in Bali, it's the kiss of the...

It's the Bali kiss. That's when you have that, you know, the exhaust. Oh, that, yeah. The exhaust, the scar of the exhaust. We had, it was all these Chad's like, I can go 90K, I'm fine. And then you're like, and scrape. Everybody falls, yeah.

It's literally the Thai tattoo. Oh, that, yeah. It's literally the tie-back. It's right next to the leg. Yeah, it is. Got a ballet tattoo. Yeah, it's crazy. I know so many nights where I've been backpacking in Thailand and I've been, you go do like a jungle rave and you're obliterated on shroomy, woomy, weed.

Rando drugs. Just something. Everything. on shroomy, woomy, weed. Rando drugs. Just something, yeah. Everything. And then booze, and then you, no helmet. Or, everybody goes, where a helmet? The helmet they give you is literally, have you? It's just this thin little cap top thing. Your face will be smashed.

No, no, everything smashed anyway. And also, have you tried those helmets and hit it? Why does it hurt more? This doesn't hurt, put that helmet on, it hurts more. It literally hurts more. Why is no one stealing those helmets? Because it's worthless. So it distributes.

The pain. The pain. So instead of losing speech here with the accident, I'm gonna lose. All of it. Wait, what else are we not talking about for work visas? What have we not covered? I don't know if this is the work visa episode, bro.

I mean, it's just a loose fucking thing. We got to shift it, we'll do another one for Vancouver or for anywhere. Wait, what else have we covered for work visas? If Joe's gonna hear this one, he's gonna be like, I told you not to have a theme. I told you. I told you not to have a theme.

No, it's a good one. It's all been travel. Yeah. It's been great. It's been great. But I love those motorbikes. My favorite thing in the universe, this is why I'm a backpacker and like a traveler at heart too,

that feeling I get when I'm in a place, even Bangkok, even though it's a city, I don't mind. What I love is I have my motorbike and I have a backpack and I pick a direction and I go and I'm a nobody and I know if I crash this motorbike, it's officially over. Like no one's gonna even, they're not gonna even get closure. Great rumble from the stomach. Pulling in a piss hard.

You wanna piss? No, but yeah. I'm, after I shit on stage on kill Tony. I'm not, I'm not pissing on podcasts anymore. Oh, you do that? Yeah. Yeah. Were you there that night?

Kill Tony Vegas? Yes, I watched never a first time when I was watching the third entering your asshole, I kind of realized one thing. I realized one thing. I've never seen an asshole shit. I don't have kids. I never seen my own asshole shit. I've never put the mirror up there. I've never, I've never seen an asshole shit. I don't have kids, I've never seen my own asshole shit.

I've never put the mirror up there. I've never, I've seen. Describe it. I've seen shit under my balls come out. But I've never seen it open up and the third comes out and then the asshole closes back up and then another third with the note comes out. Oh.

Dude, when I saw you do that, I kept yelling in the back. I was like, he had the note the whole time. Like you just, you sat and you were podcasting with a note up your ass. Yeah. I even told him, I was like, hey, I need this, I need this announcement, like printed on paper. And they gave me this thick card stock.

I'm like, no, this won't do. Like, why? It looks good. I'm like, I need thinner. No wonder our interview didn't click. I was like, that was kind of weird, me and Ari. And no wonder, you had a turd up your, you had a paper up your ass. And a poop ready to go that I hold for two hours.

That was crazy, on command. Like bam, and yeah, your asshole is just like, you have a kind of an asshole that gives you a little bit of like, like you ever, you know when you're banging? I do know. And you're pulling your dick out, and it looks like it's trying to keep it back in. It's pretty hot, right?

That's what your asshole did with the turd. Like it kinda came out, it was kinda like, remember the alien when he has the small alien in the stomach, in the mouth? Can you get a picture of that? Like an extra part came out, and then it closed back up, and then another part. First time I've seen it.

And you also, the way you did it, that you went full nude, a naked Jew man taking a shit. Should've kept my shirt on. It's insane. I had three- Workshopping it afterwards. I had a Protect Our Park shirt on. I should've branded that.

I had three friends there, three chicks there. One is a singer, one is a, and two are supermodels, like actual supermodels. They were there for me. They don't even know comedy, they don't know Kill Tony. They don't even know. Because this isn't even base level comedy. This is like, it relies on you knowing about skanks, knowing about Kill Tony, a long fucking year long setup.

This is like talking with Spearcy Theories, you know, it's like, you gotta know the basics before we will bring up JFK. So there it goes, and then at one point I remember, you know there's that point, you know when somebody has something covered in shit in their hand, there's always a point when somebody, like when you were a kid, when you're 15 years old, somebody picks up dog poop on the stick. You know there's always a moment where you were a kid, when you're 15 years old, somebody picks up dog poop on the stick.

You know there's always a moment where you see the guy, pause, look at the dog poop, and you know, everybody knows what he's thinking. And remember, you were wiping your ass, and remember you looked at the shit in your hand, and all in the crowd can see you, you know what's gonna happen. And you could see from the front, like World War Z

when the zombie was on the plane, you could see people start clearing up. And I see my three friends, the chicks, the supermodels, they're like a bomb's going off. They're like, and everybody can see what you're thinking. And I remember you're looking up and then you look towards the crowd and everybody's just, everybody knows what you're,

and you start throwing shit. This is such a long setup. Seven years ago, I pissed into a cup. I pissed into a cup during Naked Rose and then Zac Amico's there. And my first thought was like, oh, that's funny. I pissed on camera, it was one of the first ones. Exactly.

But now suddenly, new moment, I have a cup of piss. I just thought I'd pissed, but now I have a cup of piss. I look at the crowd, thought about it. Oh. I'm like, I gotta do it. And I looked at Zach, he gave me a look. Of do it on me. Do it, which he now says,

I don't know what you're talking about. That was not what that look said. And then I just threw it in his face as he was bleeding from staples. Hit him perfectly. A year later, Luis Gomez had to weigh face as he was bleeding from staples. Hit him perfectly. A year later, Louis Gomez had to weigh in. He was as fat as Bert. He had to weigh in.

He goes, well, I don't know what my weight is. I had a scale for him. I was like piss. He goes, let me piss first to get as low as possible. He weighed above this. I'm in the crowd celebrating with mistake. My back turned to the stage and Louis jumps off and then just dumps his piss on my head. So this is all a big, long setup.

So I kinda see why British comedians shit on American comedy sometimes. Yeah, we're not eyebrow. And then, yeah, I threw, yeah, what a fun. That's crazy. Cause I've seen a lot of pieces. He found Lewis, too, went right over his head. Wow. Missed him.

But to be honest, you know what I do like about you? I'm kind of that guy. Hold on, hold on, pause. The way you said that implies a lot of things. You know what I do like about you? It implies I don't like almost everything. Yeah. You know what I do like about communism?

We disagree on everything, but one thing we agree on is the Chinese and the piss. I have always been a guy like that too. Like if we're in a cabin in the bog with the boys and the party needs to go to the next level, I'm the first to take my dick out. I'm the first to shit in something. Always flattered.

Always flattered. This is not sexual assault. This is a goof. This is a goof. I always take my dick out. I piss. I haven't shit, but if there's something, yeah, if it needs to take the party, like you did. Let's take this episode.

Oh! I totally agree with that. Cause I remember other comedians around me like, how could he do that? And I'm like, I totally see it. If we need to go down. Yeah. Netflix got mad at me too.

They go, Tony Hitchcliffe was disgusted by it. I'm like, Tony helped me plan it. Exactly, Tony loves that too. If we're gonna shit in a bucket, he goes, if you shit in a bucket, who's gonna see it? I'm like, oh, you're right, Tony. Intelligent guy, no one gives him crap for that. If we're like around cool guys and we're having a party

and we're in the bulk, me, you, Tony, you know, all three of us will look at each other and be like, something has to go on somebody, up somebody's ass. And I'm happy to be the guy who puts Bobby Lee's not there Then somebody's got to do it something is gonna go up my ass at some point if I'm at a party It's just about bound to happen I brought a two candy bars Twix and a and a which are the two thin ones and whatever I put it in Bobby's freezer It's a tiger belly and he goes what were the candy bars for and I go, you know what they're for

Oh, no, and he just like what were the candy bars for? And I go, you know what they're for. Oh no. And he just was like, I'm not putting stuff on my ass anymore. It was like, how'd you know what I went? Oh yeah. Bobbie Lee seems like a guy who does fun stuff too. Yeah. He does fun stuff. Yeah. Um, that was fun. Wait, why'd we get on that? Work. Welcome to the work with your podcast. Is there anything that gets your workers revoked? Welcome to the work visa broadcast. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha they might actually in America no but for real what do you have to avoid like criminal anything criminal so name a criminal thing you can't do it drunk driving though do you know Canadian or that's what Canadian comics sometimes don't go into America they're like you don't want to make it they're like I

can't cuz I was fucking fucked up in Alberta with the boys and now I can't go vice versa to America you can't get in Canada. It doesn't even work. You're like, I'm not going to drive. We don't want you here. Absolutely. Yeah. So there's that. Same thing in Estonia too if you have a criminal.

That's a good question. Denied? No. Have you ever had a work visa denied? I've always been like a piece of shit around corporations, but when I started traveling, the first thing I knew to do is do everything you can to keep your passport. That's why I don't like to go to Dubai either,

you know, I'm gonna give it away and they come back 10 minutes later. Where was my passport? Where's my passport? You're fucked without that passport. Take a Xerox of it. Isn't that, isn't it? No, but, yeah, exactly.

Why do you need my original? How crazy is that we're still there, that like we have this paper thing that a Bali, random Bali guy on a scooter can grab. Yeah. And now I'm nobody. You don't exist. Like, you're not, you're not even.

So, uh, that's what, uh, that's my only thing that I've always been really clear about this trying to deny work visa. Yeah, it's criminal activity mostly. Yeah, the drunk driving one is like, especially scooters. You know what I tell people to look for in a scooter? I forgot that part. Some of the trunks are about this thin and some are about this. Look for the trunks.

You want to be able to put some shit in there and lock it. You ever have like a secondary wallet that's meant to get stolen? I have that. I used to, well, I used to have that. That's a good one. I never did one of those. Yeah, just one of those. I know, you mean sock, money sock?

Exactly. The little money in the wallet. Oh, you got me. There goes $20. Oh. Yeah. You ever been robbed? I got, I've been robbed.

One time I got robbed. I met my girlfriend, Australian girlfriend. We met in Bali. Um, I was backpacking in other places. She had to work in Australia to get more money. So we meet and we go out for a walk and they rob us, these children, they rob us. I'm, I have my armor on my girl and they go in the backpack. But the cute little boys, they're grabbing my leg,

they're making funny faces. Distracting you. Distracting me. Wow. We go to the hostel, we find everything's been stolen, the phone, her passport. Passport, fuck. Luckily American passport, and an American embassy,

you can literally, if you're an American, they hear you, you can go straight. And that's a thing. There's the the minefield there what do they do with the passport they stole I know but they just take everything and they just throw it away that's annoying right but something in that cube I heard they'll go into the safe and they'll take your pass along the money to the passport too but I'm like what's the pass I know please if you're a thief out there you're not gonna do anything with it give me the license my identity is not worth it ooh

I get to be the guy who watch Ari shit now. You know, like my identity's not worth anything, you know, I'm not fucking Joe Rogan. So just keep the passport. And then we go to the, go back to the hostel and I'm so angry that I go out and I terminate her around. You know, when you walk around and you're like this, I look for these kids.

In my head I'm like, I'm gonna pummel these kids to death. But one of them. You just find some random other kid, and he's like, mama. I know, I was so upset because I'm a 22, 23, 24 year old man who, you know, if somebody takes something from your girl, does that.

Yeah, you gotta, it's like emasculating. I couldn't fuck my girl right. I can't fuck you right after we just got behooveled by little children. Behooveled, look that word up. I'm not, I can't fuck you correctly. I need to find these children. And fuck them.

Bring their head to my girl. That way she gets extra wet, I get extra hard. Because I'm a man, I'm a Viking, I'm a protector. I need to stand for my girl. They're getting hot in the booth. And then she, I ruined our whole vacation, our week together in Bali because I'm so tense about this incident. But she was like a hippie girl and she taught me at that time too,

I learned that because I'm still so, I'm a suburban kid, I need to keep my stuff. I had all these bullshit values of manhood in my head and now I ruined the our little fucking week of in Bali I'm feeling like a just touch. Yeah feel like a bitch and that moment I really does my first robbery now if I had a few and every time it happens. I always think like You know, yeah, you need to take like a minute to be like that sucked Let me feel this for five minutes. Exactly. And then go, well, we're here now.

Don't let it ruin everything. I still have my wallet, okay. Or I still have something. Let's just have a good time. We're in Bali. Let's have fun. The feeling will always- If you got robbed in America and they said,

sorry about that, here's a free ship to Bali to make up for you. You'd be like, okay. So you're there. Enjoy. One thing, one time in Cambodia, I go to my hotel room, everything's gone, everything. But you know what is there?

On the nightstand, my little passport. They left it. They left it. Nice, Cambodia, underrated place. And I remember when I saw it, my first thought was, oh thank God that I didn't come in while it's happening. I don't wanna fight with you, just take it. That's why like,

What would you, this is what you do if you go in there robbing, you're like, wrong room, I'll be back in five. Really? You're like, just do it. Because the trauma I'm gonna have from this physical combat, okay, I might kill you, but it's gonna happen that I'm all,

I'm Jay Leno and we're both in the kitchen. And we're, you know, have you seen the video, the Jay Leno? He's all, anyway, I'll show it later. The booth boys, no, what's up? Show it, yeah. Wait. He got, apparently he fell. Somebody beat him up?

Yeah, but his stories, he fell down a hill. Oh, that's a boyfriend story. So that's me in the kitchen floor. Look, I'm still smiling. With a dead Cambodian boy here who tried to rob me. What's the outcome? I'm never gonna do stand up again because I'm traumatized. My dick ain't gonna get hard.

Actually it might because I killed some. Yeah, yeah, I don't know the rules. I don't know the rules exactly. Balls get soft, dick gets hard. Exactly. So that's the thing about home invasion. You know in America they do that. Do you know about cap luggers, what they do?

So if they catch you, if you catch a cap lager, man catches a man, they're not violent. They don't wanna like mug you, they're just trying to hope you're not there. So the only way they can get you to not report it to the police is they have to Chad you. They have to Chad you. Oh Chad.

So now you're. Chad, Chad, Chad, Chad, Chad. So now you're. Chad. Chad. Chad. Chad. So now they have, so now you'll be too embarrassed to report it. To report any of it.

What did you hear this? Capulica.org. Okay, okay. Becoming a Capulica, I don't know, is that a true thing? Look that up, maybe that's an urban legend. No, you look it up dude. Call me. So that's why this is a tip for anybody who wants to rob me. If you find out where I live,

you find out where Ari Matias is. Just do it. No, come in. To the last word. Yeah. Come in, knock and say, give me all your shit. I will help you pack. I will literally, I don't want to fight in the kitchen floor. I don't want none of that.

Yeah, no, I guess it's not there, would be. Golden State killer suspect, maybe Lincoln too, earlier. Wow, they're still looking for that guy, Jesus Christ. The unbelievable story of Chad, look at that. Hey Siri, do Capuleters often- Chad. Jesus Christ. The unbelievable story of Chad. Look at that. Hey Siri, do capillaries often- Chad. Jesus Christ.

Siri's not gonna answer that, my friend. Okay, I found this on the web for do capillaries often- Chad. What? They say that? Capillary. Siri says Chad? Siri says Chad, that's crazy.

Does it say the N word? We gotta get her to say it. We gotta get her to say it. We gotta get her to say it. Hey Siri, can you repeat this word, Chad? Sorry, I can't. Oh, oh, Chad is much better. Chad is. They're lying.

Siri is like, here's what I found out, Chad, where to do it. All right, all right, let's wrap this up. I feel like we've covered it. What? This was the craziest podcast I've ever done. This was a wild one. I don't know what happened.

Yeah, well, we'll go to a real country another time. The next episode. This was fun though. So much fun. Yeah, everybody check out Ari Matty's podcast. It doesn't exist yet. And I'm gonna put in stuff, what? I really loved, when I was starting comedy,

there was a moment when I was struggling. I remember I heard you had a podcast where you were talking about getting passed at the paid regular. And I remember you had a sentence where you go, when people say they believe in something, that's not believing, it's unbelieving. They say, like when people hear you believe in something

and they say that's great and you should believe in something, that say that's great and you should believe in something, that's not believing. Believing is when everybody else says your dream is stupid and you still believe. I remember you saying that. That kept me for 10 years when I was struggling. Leap of faith when it's like, yeah.

When everybody else tells you. Because everybody likes these cool stories where everybody's like, you go Ari, do your comedy. Yeah, I believe in myself, like everyone believes in you. What does that mean? Exactly, yeah, yeah. But when everyone's like, no, this isn't for you. And you're like, do your comedy. I believe in myself, like everyone believes in you. What does that mean? Exactly, yeah, yeah. But when everyone's like, no, this isn't for you, and you're like, I can, yeah, that's a real leap of faith.

It's like an NBA athlete, successful from high school, you know, well, we're gonna see you're a fucking franchise. But if everybody. Yeah, exactly, and in the beginning, you're so bad that everyone's like, you're not good at this, and you weren't. But some people are good. Not right away though.

Okay, I ask everybody this. Travel tips, are they general or specific to a place? Some people like pack light, some people like put mushrooms in your, what is it, granola. And some people like, when you go to Cuba bring American dollars. So any travel tip.

Well, true, US dollar, if you have US dollar, at $100 anywhere in the world, will get you somewhere where you need to be. Will get you a meal, will get you the cab ride to the airport, it will get you to the embassy when you're in trouble, it will get you the police. $100, always good to have.

That's actually my advice when you do mushrooms, put your phone down, put $100 in a pocket, and another $100 in another pocket and no matter what, you'll be able to get back to where you're from. Exactly. Secondary wallet, I did say that. Secondary wallet.

The number one trial tip I would give all around is, don't believe the hype. When people tell you, don't go to Peru, they'll fucking stab you. Don't believe the hype. Trust me, right now, right this moment, there's people in Iran having the most beautiful day having a croissant or a whatever the local history is. There's people in Gaza right now riffing around coffee. There's people in Ukraine right

now walking in a beautiful street with the sun and the snow coming down because it's fall. Poland, beautiful. When people go to Dubai, they go, I love that it was so safe. Everywhere. Yeah, they told me in Cuba, like the food's terrible. I had pretty good food. Pretty good food.

Everywhere in the world, you can have an amazing experience with amazing food and a nice cup of coffee, local alcohol. People say Mongolia, don't go to Mongolia. Probably, I've never been, let's be honest, if you Google Mongolia mountains, it's gonna be the most beautiful place you've ever been in your life. The Iranian mountains.

And you can go through something that will change your life. Don't believe the hype. People go, Moldova, what a shithole. One of the most beautiful places you've ever been in your fucking, oh, here we go! Goddamn, look at those fucking eagle hunters. Oh, life is really bad, yeah, I love being in fucking damn. Here we go. Damn. Look at those fucking Eagle Hunters. Oh, life is really bad. Yeah. I love being in. Wow.

Look at that. Look at that. That's a fucking bog, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. Wow. New York is awesome. Wow. I'm in an alley covered in piss.

That's a good point. You know, when they go like go to Paris. Yeah. It does smell like piss every third block. It smells like piss everywhere, and I can't even see the Eiffel Tower from my room. The fuck is, what the fuck is that thing on the left? Sacred mountains.

Everywhere is beautiful. Go to, put in Google, what's a, put. Yeah, put in Google, oh, hold on, put that in. Put in Google, what's a, the, the, the. Put the, what's a, what's a put yeah put it Google hold on put that in pretty good what's a far far put what's a yeah that's it enter that oh you can put in Iran beach put in Iran beach I don't even know what that means I've never been to Iran but putting Iran Beach let's see what happens. Look at this! Damn. Anywhere you go.

Wow, what are the fucking those? Yeah! Look at the red beaches. What the fuck is that? That's what I'm saying, dude. Anywhere in the world you go, it's gonna be amazing. You're somewhere else. Look at that chick swimming in a fucking,

look at it. In a fucking, paper bag. Okay. Jesus, she's a fucking, she's swimming up next to, it looks like she's wearing a fucking disguise. Like you can't see me if I'm covered. Caspian beach, damn. Look at that red, what is that?

Silver and red beach of Hormuz. Hormuz, Hormuz Island. I bet you have a great- That's on the fucking list now. You have the Jiki sauce, hummus. Look at those guys down there, Bearing a Jew. Look at him the list now. That's on the fucking list now. You have the Gigi sauce, hummus. Look at those guys down there, bearing a Jew. Look at him.

They just found a Jew at the left. Yeah, no left, yeah. He's screaming. That's a nice pastime. As long as you're not a Jew, that's a fun thing to do there. That's a fun thing to do, bury the Jew.

The last question is, what country, like give me a country that I gotta get there. I wanna get to that place. Like me or you? Yeah, you. Me, Nepal. Nepal there. I wanna get to that place. Like me or you? Yeah, you. Nepal. Nepal.

I want to get to the mountains. I love something about them. I don't wanna do the Everest with the, I don't wanna do the, I'm not, the sport doesn't excite me. It's like hill climbing. I don't need to go in the snow. What's the snow? I don't like this.

I don't need the big, I love the snow. I don't want the big like challenge of the sport. It just insulted your country. I know. I'm sorry, to all the Estonians, I love the snow. I don't want the big challenge of the sport. I just insulted your country. I know, I love the snow. I'm sorry, to all the Estonians, I'm sorry. In your language, I always. Also, what we did to the Jews, I think were. What did you do?

You're not on our radar. We killed everybody before the Germans got here. Creatively. Because we didn't wanna start off on the wrong foot. Wow. Well, from the river to the sea, my friend. Is that how you took the name Ari? Literally you took it from an Ari?

Oh, interesting. Okay. We can use Ari as Ari file. No, I don't wanna be- Ari file. Is that, you're supposed to be Ari. Fuck case, but Chad! Yeah, we gotta mute a bunch of Ari.

I think we use Ari for that. Okay, we can use Ari for, ah. Let's use Bird for that. But then you Ari. I think we use Ari for that. Okay, we can use Ari for... Ah. Let's use Bird for that. Let's use Bird for that. Nah. Who's been accused? Well, wait, what else do you have to bleep?

It's a Chad. It's Chad. Chadded. Chadder. And Aurophile. Ari. What? Chadist.

Can't say Aurophilia. Can't say, you can't even have them in Estonia. What, um... Wait, what else do you have to bleep? Ari Filia. Dude, I love this camera. Dude, it's just like. What is, what is, Aurophile?

Chad, Chad. It means bother. Ari. Yeah, something like that. Chatted, chatter. Ari means don't bother me? No, it's like. Ari.

Yeah, yeah. Ari. 1000 days, you're legal, I can't speak. Ari. Yeah, no bother. No bother me. Look at you, a traveler delight. Well, no, I was like being accused of most.

Chatted, and I'm like, you don't know that, like you even bother anybody? I'm like, oh, oh, yeah, for sure. You're admitted to the lesser crime. You get out of there. All right, we need, all right, chat, fine. Fair enough, well played. Let's find some other people we can hurt.

But I'm still keeping it on the table of using Ari as Aurophile. Just so I can use Chad as a. And we need something for Aurifelia. You can't say. That's so crazy. It's crazy. It's literally a beautiful thing that women have

and these things are not. Yeah, I mean, when we do a Cambodia episode, it's gonna be a lot about child shit. And just like. It's crazy. Dude, I would sometimes even be at bars and see an old guy and I would already be like, what the fuck? He's probably just getting away from his wife.

There's a thing online about me that I went to Thailand just to fuck kids. I don't know where it's coming from. I'm not fighting it, but like, it's just funny to me. To be fair, when you are on a flight to Bangkok and you're on the flight and you look around, we all know. Yeah, they're on the flight like this. Yeah, we all know what's about to go down.

Yeah, you know somebody that's like, they go like this, like, hey, what's for lunch? Okay, cool, and just back to this. When you're here, I'm going to Bangkok, nobody's like, oh, the temples. They named it after that. Yeah, we know. Also beautiful angels. Nice temples. All right, Ari, I'll do They named it after that. Yeah, we know. Also beautiful angels.

Nice temples. All right, Ari, I'll do the bumpers later when we put this in. Thank you very much. Do you have a website or anything? Instagram. You have Instagram. Ari Mati Comedy.

A-R-I-M-E-T-T-I. We gotta get you a fucking real visa. I'd love a visa, and we have to. You gotta be close, right? I'm working on it. What's crazy is that when I did Duncan Trussell podcast, I talked about more traveling. I know I love you.

Did you really? I talked about more traveling than I did in this. Just cause sometimes it's. Sometimes you get in a groove. Sometimes it's hard. It's hard for me. Can you describe that please? Yeah.

You know. Yeah, it's hard for you what? To be like, I talk about Canada, but then you bring up the Chinese. It's hard for me. Can you describe that please? Yeah. You know. Yeah. It's hard for you what? To be like, like I talk about Canada, but then you bring up the Chinese, you're gonna get me going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's what you nerd out about, so.

Exactly. Yeah. And I'm the same way, and people are like, we didn't get into this. I'm like, oh shit, sorry, I got a new group. That's the point of a podcast, I think. Yeah. And they're like, oh, you always talk about this.

You should do something about it. And I was like, yeah, let me start a podcast called RSC's The World. All right. But it's called You'll Be Tripping. Oh yeah it is that's right. You said the wrong name. Yeah I did. What if I start a podcast RACs the world. Please. And we both have a travel podcast where we don't talk about travel. Yeah we do we talked only all about travel. It was great it was absolutely a beautiful podcast. Yeah visa work visa episode. It was a beautiful time. All right well when you come back what country we're gonna do the next time When we'll do just a country name it I've been there maybe Cambodia. I think I'm going to Mexico for the first time

Oh cool. That'll be fun when you get back if you stop in New York, we'll do that Okay. All right. I got a piss like crazy. I have to piss like yeah, let's go streams. You bring back I'm actually pissing right now. Okay. All right. Thank you everybody. Please subscribe He chatted that chick Yeah, let's cross streams and bring back ghosts. I'm actually pissing right now. Okay, all right. Thank you everybody. Please subscribe. He chatted that chick. What an episode. Okay guys, that's it. The storytelling show is almost sold out. So hurry up and get your tickets if you want.

The ticket name, your ID must match the name of who you purchased it under. You know, one per group. but that guy's gotta be there. We're stopping scalpers. So, yeah, if you buy it from a scalper, it won't be good. Unless he shows up with you. It's a long shot. But I wouldn't get it from a scalper.

And if you're a scalper, you're not gonna be able to sell these. I mean, you could try, I guess. But I wouldn't get it from a scalper. And if you're a scalper, you're not going to be able to sell these. I mean, you could try, I guess. But I wouldn't. Because of this disclaimer, you have to show up with the ID that matches the name on the tickets. One per night max. That's it. It's going to be a fucking party.

I'm excited about it. Check out Ari at Zany's in Chicago April 24 through 26. Check me out San Jose this coming weekend and then Orlando the following Wednesday Fort Lauderdale or Daniel Beach the Thursday and Sunday

And then Seattle Vancouver Calgary Edmonton shows are already added in Calgary Edmonton in Vancouver and that's it you guys for my recommendation of the week by the way today's episode is edited by Alan Caffey it's produced by your mom's house network my recommendation for the week is big J Okersons crowd work special the first of a two-part crowd work special because big Jay Okerson does crowd work in a way that you don't know because you're used to seeing, create, like, what's yours, whatever, send me, throw out some topics. Big Jay's always the guy that we all said did it the most correctly.

It's incidental. The way Brian Regan or Nate Bargatze are clean when you don't notice it. Big Jay, you're not seeing him try to do crowd work. He's just a master at it. He's the best one at it. Um, and so check it out right now. Big J O'Croson on YouTube. Um, they them, the second one's coming out soon.

If you haven't seen the first one, uh, get on it. Second one's coming out in April. Um, that's my recommendation for the week. Ari, that is funny. Good, good episode. haven't seen the first one. Get on it. The second one's coming out in April. That's my recommendation for the week. Ari, that is funny. Good episode, actually, talking about just the visa process in general. The next time he comes back, I think we'll talk about Cambodia, like fully.

We actually recorded it. I just don't remember, because let's call it long COVID, because the government put it in me. All right guys that's it I'll see you there at all my shows the few remaining ones in the farewell for now tour and uh still submit for the trip around the world. Goodbye everybody thank you Ari Matty and guys go check out Ari Matty's. I mean, what's even his Instagram account? You got to go look at his website and then go I Mean is Ari Matty what's his even Instagram Ari Matty comedy a ri ma TTI comedy go there 300,000 followers and

Trying to think how you can like barrage him with Your own observations about this terrible, terrible website. Follow him on there for sure, but harass him as well. He's got to learn. That's crazy. They'll be okay. Leave a comment in the YouTube and subscribe to the YouTube by the way.

You be tripping pod leave a comment about your particular Fondness for how terrible terrible terrible that website is what specifically do you find the worst? Leave a comment below Subscribe subscribe on Spotify wherever you listen guys. I'm having a blast with this podcast and thank you for tuning in until next week with Sam Talent. We'll be going to France, the countryside of France, not Paris. Until next week, bon voyage.

Yeah, because there's no country which is Jesus. Welcome and goodbye.