You Should Know Podcast - BECOMING A RAPPER! - You Should Know Podcast-
Episode Date: October 30, 2023LIVE SHOW TICKETS (LOS ANGELES): https://www.ticketmaster.com/you-should-know-podcast-los-angeles-california-12-07-2023/event/09005F512A5747DE PATREON AVAILABLE NOW: https://www.patreon.com/YouShou...ldKnowPodcast NAOMI (Merch Designer) : https://linktr.ee/xenagriffin?fbclid=PAAabJMosNTP1iXrU95jMJxoeAfVSs_lq36Jwpu16dii4xb1EiaB1uLtcKyuQ_aem_Af_R682HMd57KjpVvxYxG8GsaRr6IQEk7KGRCtOa9I2Y5D0VPuD9xFGWhbWeWtwpTeU Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2:54 CAM THE LION JOINS 6:25 WEIRD MOTIVATION 8:19 NYC PRE SHOW THOUGHTS 10:40 THE VAMPIRE TIN MAN 12:08 Swapping Teeth Bet 15:21 INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN AGAIN 16:22 Peyton’s a LIAR 22:10 Cam Wear His Wife’s Clothes 24:50 CAM IS DIRTIER THAN PEYTON! 27:20 PEYTONS SOCCER STORIES 29:12 LIQUID IV 31:11 CAMS PARKING LOT SANDWICH 36:42 Peyton’s Weird Microwave Routine 40:28 Shopping For Women’s Clothing 43:49 THE CARTOON DEBATE 47:30 THE BESTFRIEND TEST 53:57 Peyton’s Phone Theory 55:50 READING PEYTONS OLD RAPS 1:02:30 MANSCAPED 1:04:20 WASP VS PLATYPUS DEBATE 1:09:18 DR.P (GOOD SIDEPIECE?) 1:14:12 LA SEE YOU SOON TODAYS SPONSORS: MANSCAPED: 20% off first month + free shipping Code YSK LIQUIDIV: YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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It's the Halloween episode
Hey everybody welcome back to The You Should Know Podcast
Episode 84
Round of applause
Please 84, round of applause, please.
I know I got a heart because it's breaking.
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast,
episode 84, the Halloween edition episode.
God, it feels so good for our second annual halloween episode we are in costume we are feeling good we are fresh from a new york live show in real time it hasn't happened yet but guys if you're
new here if you haven't already look below you see that subscribe button isn't pressed you're wrong
if you look even more below there you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name
guess what even more
ongoing feel that i'll get your good karma do it for my heart do you get it because it's the wizard
of oz and i'm the tin man do you get it audio listeners you're so confused you don't you're
missing out really visually but listen to the audio version have it all in your head your
preconceived notions then go over to the youtube and watch it all over again it's going to be a fully different
experience guys we have an announcement yes New York show it is done it was great hopefully it
hasn't happened yet but we do have a couple more LA tickets for December 7th at the Regent
Theater Los Angeles the tickets are going to be in the description below it is sold out faster
than any other show it's not sold out yet but but it will very soon. So if you even you're thinking about
coming if you're near California, if you're in California, if in LA get your tickets in the
description below the Regent Theater December 7th. We also have another announcement. We have
expanded to another social media platform. We're on Facebook.
Round of applause for Facebook.
We realize we're neglecting a whole other audience and the Facebook.
I know a lot of you have been talking about it.
And I know a lot of y'all, we have great fans and great supporters.
And a lot of people have made Facebook fan pages for us.
But we have an official one.
So make sure you follow the Facebook page that is in the description below we're going to be posting long clips on there extended clips we're going to be giving out little secret stuff only on the Facebook so be sure to go to that Facebook page follow it like
the page to get your mama your grandmama your auntie your uncle to go mess with us over at
Facebook because I know a lot of them don't have YouTube TikTok Instagram but I know they have
Facebook so get your whole family involved on the You Should Know Podcast. We love you guys
so much. We hope you have a happy Halloween and I'll see you to the rest of the episode.
What is a heartless
without his Without his crap. Don't look at me.
Look at your camera.
Let them see that.
We're back, baby.
Second annual.
We got co-host Cam!
Back in the studio.
I can't do this.
I don't know if I'll be able to perform under these conditions.
I do believe in spooks.
I do, I do, I do.
I think that's what he says.
Our pumpkins are falling.
We got co-host Cam!
Back in the studio.
This is a mess.
No, this is insane.
Bro, we're the Wizard of Oz cast.
We are.
We are the Wizard of Oz.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Dude, you look insane.
I like the touch of the boots that you put on.
100%.
The Ugg boots, it just goes with the skin, you know.
The pants are riding up right now, so don't worry about that.
Oh, you got your Courageous badge.
I do, because I'm the...
I'm not the cowardly lion anymore, sire.
I'm courageous!
Rawr!
Okay, no, no, no.
First things first.
Okay.
Are you clothed this year?
I do have panties on.
I do have panties.
Round of applause for Peyton wearing clothes under his garments this year.
It's because I'm not wearing a one-piece.
That's true.
So if you were wearing
this you'd be naked i would be my my my manhood would be hitting my knees jesus christ like i
honestly don't right now i don't feel like we're on the you should know podcast no i don't i feel
like i'm in a sick dream yeah it doesn't feel real it's it's spooky outside it's raining we're
getting on a plane tomorrow to go to new york This is just, it's different. Oh my God.
My lip touched my mic.
You would think I just got spit on.
Like I put chapstick of spit on my lip.
I don't know what you're saying.
My mic is so wet right now.
You're sitting here.
Thanks for another round of applause.
Why is it wet?
Let me grab your mittens. Th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- things with care. No, because you ripped my bow off like a barbarian previously, maybe 20 minutes ago. You just snatched it off my head, ripped it.
No, because-
God!
You can tell you've never had long hair.
Ever. Yeah, sorry Troy Polamalu. No, I didn't have it.
Oh, but you have something to commemorate me on your costume.
And what would that be?
The tail.
I do.
I do have a tail.
This is for Peyton.
I have my tail with me.
This looks crazy.
Why are you going between the legs like that?
Yeah, I got to move.
That's not a good look.
Yeah, that's not a good look.
This is a children's program.
There we go.
It's not a children's program.
You're going to say something I like and just be like this.
It comes to life. It's just like... I program. You're going to say something I like and just be like this. It comes to life.
It's just like.
I don't feel mobile right now.
I don't feel safe.
It's like I'm in a ghillie suit of like a.
Like you could go to war and do fine.
Yeah.
You kind of look like Hercules a little bit.
Yeah, I look like a.
I don't know, bro.
I look like Conan the Barbarian and obviously a damn lion.
But how are you feeling, Bubba?
How was your week this week? You know, this week, week it's just it's been a hell of a week okay ups downs it's just good i'm just proud to be here to be myself what i do if you just whatever
you're doing you got to keep doing it because it's just it means a lot to you and i know it
does and you just got to fight through like don through. Don't let any outside noise, anything else come in.
Just keep grinding.
If you gotta do something, you do it to the best of your ability.
You're exactly where you are for an exact reason.
You're doing it.
You right there.
I'm talking to you.
Everyone needs to know that you're doing great.
Life is getting weird.
The world is getting scary.
And you're just doing it good.
I just want you to know that from me.
The courageous, cowardly lion that you're doing it good. I just want you to know that for me, the courageous cowardly lion,
that you're doing a good job.
I don't, I actually don't know what just came about me.
I don't know if I have the damn courage medal and I just went on a rant.
I just realized that I talked for 25 seconds straight.
I've never, there's so much hair in my face.
What the, what, what was that?
What was it? I don't know. I really don't. But damn it, I mean it.
I- hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. I prefer your bland answers over that shit inspirational speech.
That was good. Someone's gonna feel that.
No, you look like a lion.
That is true, but-
With a bow in your hair and you have whiskers.
Cam, you're just gonna got to live with it dog
You can't just keep the whole episode there you bet every time I laugh
It's gonna go back you kind of look like a you look like a you look like Jesus
If this is what my Lord and Savior
What is my clock say uh like three o'clock, I don't know to read into Roman it
That's Roman numerals dog. You know how to read in the Roman. That's Roman numerals, dog. You don't know how to read a clock?
Not Roman numerals.
You suck.
One, two.
Oh, it's a clock at the end of the day.
Yeah, it's a clock.
So it says it's actually extremely inaccurate.
But it says 1215, but the hand's not anyway.
I have something to say.
I'm excited about New York.
It's already happened, but I'm excited to go to New York.
I'm so excited.
We leave tomorrow.
We leave tomorrow.
It's going to be fantastic.
What's your most anticipated thing about New York?
Just meeting our New York fans.
Golly.
Performing again.
It's been a little minute.
Yeah.
That's just going to be super fun.
It's always fun to just share those moments with y'all.
And then, of course, we're going to take, I'm not going to say what day it is, but we're
going to take one of the days while we're down there to just be in New York.
Why can't you say what day it is?
We're back already.
That's true.
We're probably going to take Sunday to go.
I just didn't want to get like, you know.
Yeah.
I want to be able to enjoy it and just see things we've never seen.
I've been to New York.
He's never been here.
Never been to New York.
He has no clue what's waiting for him.
No.
You're going to be walking down there and be like, yo, hey, Utah, you got an ox for me, huh?
I'd be like, I don't have an ox.
What is an ox?
Like the cattle?
I didn't know we still tried to cattle.
No, but New York is fantastic.
It's a fun place.
You got to stop, dude.
This shit is...
There's so much hair.
I am wet.
Every time I look at you, you're like this.
Yeah, I am absolutely wet.
In multiple areas.
Can we talk about including the area you think?
Oh, I have a trick for that.
I have a trick for that. I have a trick for that.
You have a trick for a wet crotch.
So this is what I do.
You have a trick for a wet crotch.
You have to make sure that you have.
You hump the air.
You have to make sure.
Dude, my panties are in me right now.
Which part is my?
I have a trick for my wet crotch that I do at home when I'm around alone.
You have to make sure you have soap, though.
Oh, my God.
Hand soap.
This is a trick or a bath. No, so what you do is you you three fingers scoop it
okay okay you think for sure we should stop there and you get the webbing and you and you can really
collect collect what what are you collecting this what is coming off of you the sweat and whatever
is living down there whatever's so you're gonna three finger you're gonna hit it with a little
give me a double scoop on a waffle cone you're gonna waffle cone your crotch with hand soap.
And there's gonna be solids that come out.
And then you gotta check the area.
You need surgery.
You gotta check the area.
You sniff it.
You sniff your three finger waffle cone after scooping the webbing, he says.
And then if you're experimenting that day.
Alright, Bill Nye, you need a, what are you gonna bake it?
Oh my, no, no, no, you've never done that.
That's bullshit. Tell me you're lying right now.
Tell me you're lying right now.
You've never done that. You've never done that.
No, I haven't.
I haven't, I haven't.
See, even that little bullshit little- that little nose touch
sniff at the end- I'm so itchy, bro.
It has me concerned. You're itchy.
Oh, I have something to add to my costume.
What?
Because I'm the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz.
Exactly.
Are you going to paint your face silver?
No.
What did you add?
I'm the evil...
I'm the evil Tin Man.
You look like... The Tin man from a trailer park. You don't look evil.
I'm choking on my locks.
Take those out. They're not even in right. Oh my god.
He never once had vampire teeth.
But he wasn't there for Halloween.
You don't know him.
And he did not wear teeth.
Okay, but I could be a vampire Tin Man
or I could be a walrus Tin Man.
Hey, well you're not a walrus.
Walruses don't bark.
They go,
That's a walrus. You're not a... Walruses don't bark. They go, That's a walrus.
Okay, you're not 600 pounds and blubbery.
You're blubbery, but you're not... Yeah, get him out.
What did you buy?
Like a youth size?
All right, bro.
You...
It was dry in there.
It was dry in my gums.
It was dry in my gums.
Dude, this is like stabbing my tooth.
You want it?
I'll pay you $500 right now. I'm not putting that in my gums. Dude, this is like stabbing my tooth. You want it? I'll pay you $500 right now.
I'm not putting that in my mouth.
I'm not putting that in my mouth.
$1,000.
I'm not putting that in my mouth.
$1,000.
I'm not putting that in my mouth.
$1,500.
I'm not.
You're not.
You're going to get $2,000.
I'm not.
Two grand, Cam.
I'm not putting that.
Cash.
I'm not putting it.
First off, you would not give me that much money.
Yeah, well, two grand. Two grand. No, I can first off you can't non-taxable you would not give me that much money i will two grand no i can't i can't dog i can't i can't i can't i can't yeah it's like it's oozing
no i can't i can't come on two grand two i can't how much i can't all right final offer final offer
and i'm dead ass look at me cap look at me a little no you're not look at me a little lion
you're not dead ass i'm not a little five. You're not deadass. I'm not a little lion.
Five grand.
You're not deadass.
You would never give me that.
Five grand.
Shake my hand.
Scout's honor.
Scout's honor.
Five grand.
All right, Katniss Everdeen, relax.
I can't put those in my mouth.
Five grand?
I can't.
I can't.
Okay, deadass.
Final offer.
No.
None of these are deadass.
Deadass.
Deadass.
The second we-
On Malcolm, Jerome, Nathalja, Esquire, Harden, the Third's life.
I don't want your money that bad.
It's my pride. Ten grand. I cannot put those- Ten Jerome, Nathalja Esquire, Heart in the Third's life. I don't want your money that bad. It's my pride.
Ten grand.
I cannot put those-
Ten bands, Cam.
I will give you $10,000.
Put these in your mouth.
No.
Come on.
Ten grand.
Come on.
Ten grand.
I can't, bro.
I can't.
I can't.
Okay, now you're spitting in it.
Oh, my- Oh, my heaven on earth.
Oh, my God.
Put that down right now.
Somebody would have taken 10 grand for it.
The fact that you're even trying to make me do that is ridiculous.
It's content.
It's a disease.
I'm waiting to have this clean.
No.
I think I do have ginger ale.
The soda, ginger ale.
You have gingivitis.
When I wake up in the morning, my breath is reeking.
Yeah.
Like, it smells like, if you were to take-
Because you probably sleep like this.
Like, just open, bare, and alone, and afraid.
Do with me what you shall.
No, I wake up, and it's like, how do I explain it?
It's like you take Play-Doh, right?
And that's salty Play-Doh.
You mix some blood in it.
Some mud.
And you swirl it around.
And maybe some Sprite.
And then that's what my breath smells like.
Maybe some tomato, too.
As I've said before, you need surgery.
We need to GoFundMe for you.
And we need to send you to a doctor
And just say fix him
No I just need a shot in the gum
A shot in the gum
You need a shot with a gun to somewhere else
That's what you need I'm just kidding
Bro
Did you just say blood mud
And what was the other one
Do you never wake up with a bloody mouth
Dead ass dead ass
Do you never wake up with a bloody mouth Bro Dead ass. Dead ass. Do you never wake up with a bloody mouth?
Bro, if you wake up with blood inside of your mouth, you're possessed.
Like, you're not yourself.
Something happened to you when you were in your slumber.
Why?
You went to sleep.
Why?
Stop that.
You went to sleep, and someone was with you.
Someone out of this realm.
So if you push on the back
i think it's my permanent retainers if you push on the if i so like when i go like this right
like i can make my gums look like this in the morning like they look like that you have a
disease yeah so if i push on the back of my back my bottom teeth too hard it will
lose blood out of the crevices off the way goes for act two what did you just say nose for act two what are
you that's the demon inside of you that's that is that's his name that's his name don't spill me i can't that wasn't no don't do that
nose for rag too oh oh uh um uh spongebob yeah a nose in the walls
and the walls will ooze green and the phone will ring but no one will answer nose for act two
The hair keeps getting in my mouth your eyes are watering bro, I'm
Nose for act two
Your thumbnail
Oh, holy shit. This is something I've learned about myself well i've known it about
myself but i saw it in action and i thought i was doing better i've been taking classes
for my social anxiety on youtube youtube university it's literally no i've literally
youtube how to help social anxiety and i've been using tips and tricks one person said pinch your
pinch your thigh and i was like i don't think that's healthy you should use better help not you you said ticks trips and tips ticks trips and tricks what the hell is that i'm
having a panic you are the aluminum the the mercury seeping through your blood i have a heart now
though tips and tricks to help social anxiety but i've been using it but i i i've had a recession okay and i've learned i lie a lot yeah welcome this is where
you can go yeah why why yeah you do no but not to my friends okay to strangers in public and i've
talked about it a little bit on the podcast before like when people ask for directions
i i send them on a on a trail to narnia i got you i don't know where you're going. Bridge to Terabithia. Be careful.
So I was at Starbucks the other day.
I went to a foreign Starbucks because the Starbucks I normally drive through,
way too long, I had somewhere to be.
I said, I Googled the next closest Starbucks.
I went to the next closest Starbucks
and I went to the drive-thru.
Less of a drive-thru, less people.
I think I'm about to pass out.
Genius. No, me too.
And so I Googled it and i went
and i went up to the thing and i ordered no no we bro no no no there's no way there's no way this
can't be why do we have trash cans why do you have filming cups keep your bodily fluids to yourself this
is a public service announcements anybody watching don't do this shit he
does don't spit on rugs when in conversation but if you own the rug you
could spit on it we bought it we you spit. I don't want to.
I want to preserve it.
You look crazy.
No, you are crazy.
I might look like a furry-friendly favorite, but you can't.
Can I tell you my Starbucks story?
Without spitting?
Yeah.
I can, like, really grip this mic, and it's, like, slipping off.
Look at me.
So I went up to the Starbucks, and I've never been.
I've never been to the Starbucks.
I ordered my drink.
Can I have a Vinci strawberry acai lemonade with no berries?
Yeah, I hope y'all hear that, by the way.
He gets a strawberry lemonade, hold the berries.
I don't want that.
I don't want that.
That's called a lemonade.
I hate when I'm drinking a drink, and his friends come with it.
I hate whenever there's a solid in my liquid.
You have such just a bitch mouth.
Like, you really do, dog.
I can't take it.
Honestly, I can't take it.
You don't like when friends come with liquids.
You don't give me my tail.
That is my, yeah.
You touched my manhood.
You touched all of me.
Okay?
You have a bitch mouth for multiple reasons.
The slightest inconvenience of a little bit of saliva, you're like, ew, no, it's got to leave.
Yeah.
You don't like mucus.
You don't like your own boogers.
Those are all connected in some way, shape, or form.
You ask for lemon.
You literally order strawberry lemonades without the strawberries.
And then you say, when I drink things, I don't want his friends to come with it.
That sounds insanely suspect.
I don't want his friends to come with it.
Courage line is an angry line.
Tin Man is stupid tin foil.
Foil is what you are.
No, but I'm saying, I went up.
She didn't know me, right?
The lady didn't know me because I've never been there.
The screen wasn't on, right?
It's where the camera, you can see in.
Okay.
So she was just off my voice.
I say, can I have a strawberry vinci acai lemonade with
no berries please and she goes oh i know this order i know exactly who this is and i at that
point i said haha do you and she goes yeah she was like it's good to hear from you again and i go
you too and then i and she goes what else do you want and i said uh can i have a double smoked
bacon sandwich she goes yep i knew it was you and i go oh it's so good hearing from you again you've you've
never spoke to this woman a day in your life and i cried
i hate being put in those situations your lace front is horrible i saw all your edges
not that is not a situation. To lie to? Be a
human being and say, oops,
must be the wrong person. Yeah, but
why inconvenience her and embarrass her?
Why lie and then cry
in your testa like a freak bag afterwards?
Huh? You want to do that?
Pick your poison? My car
is a good cry spot. What are your favorite cry
spots? We're not just jumping.
Shit. You literally...
How is that embarrassing for her?
Oh, sorry, ma'am. You must not... It's not like you said it
over a microphone in front of a valley of people.
But then what if she goes, no, it is you. Stop playing games.
I go, okay, what's my government? What's my
middle name? Huh? It's me? Huh?
What if she goes, Terry? And then I'm Terry for the day.
I'd say, hey, that's not me. Wrong guy.
Give me my lemonade.
Hold the berries. Have a good day.
That's what you do.
That's rude, though.
You're rude to people.
I am not rude to people.
You are rude to waiting staffs.
You just know I'm not.
Yes, that is one thing about Cam.
We've talked about it before.
Can we tell the bacon story?
No, I'm not.
I'm not rude.
I'm just a little spicy.
You need a heart.
No, and you need hair.
I have hair.
Oh.
No, you do.
You don't look at my ass? Everyone in the Discord, that's for you right there. Ca, and you need hair. I have hair. Oh. No, you do. You want to look at my ass?
For everyone in the Discord, that's for you right there.
Caught him in 4K.
By the way, in our Discord, there was a debate.
Who likes whose ass more?
Yeah.
It's definitely you.
No, it's you.
You are infatuated with your...
Oh, my beard is...
My beard's moving itself.
My beard has moved itself.
Keep it down for now.
No, Cam is very into my ass no i'm off camera i'm just
open about it i will i appreciate your butt this is what cam oh my god i'm about to expose you
since you want to play that game do you want me to expose yes or no you can try look cam has a wife
right cam's wife has clothes cam how that works cam is infatuated with how his rumpus looks now that he works out
because i've always had the wagon in the group no you and now cam is finally catching up he's
not there yet but he's catching up so i kid you not live calls me facetimes me and she goes look
my husband did turns the camera around Cam has on a pair of
olivious tights
that have the scrunchy ass
that make your ass look better.
And then he jumped in them.
Cam,
strike me now.
May God strike you.
If I am lying.
Three things.
One,
my wife
asked slash demanded me
to try it on.
So,
so, Oh my God, it's going to be hard for you to get into the heavenly gate to meet our father. wife asked slash demanded me to try it on so so so i did as she requested being a good husband
what the hell did you just say i did as she requested being a good husband what is that
word you said i did as she requested as a good husband i did as she requested. I did as she requested.
Am I tripping right now?
No, you might just be an idiot. Here we go, buddy.
Hey, remove the 10.
I did as she requested.
Like a good husband. I can't be
the only one that was confused with what you said. No, you are. I did
as she requested. So,
it was on for 5 seconds.
Because we were laughing because i got out of the
shower apparently ass was assing wife said you're thick i said don't say that she said no but you
are and i said wait am i i look she said try these on you're a liar you're lying and okay my wagon
is as of a che Trailblazer. Your wagon
is like the little sidecar on those
piece of shit motorcycles. Your shit
is tiny. You're frail.
You don't want to play this game.
This costume might not do justice.
It's definitely me. Thank you.
And those tight ass stupid...
These are tight?
They're not tight.
And...
You're lucky I'm dressed like a beast.
Yes or no, did you do this whenever you put on her tights?
You turned towards me.
No, I can't.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
You're lying.
You're gonna have a hard time.
You're gonna have a hard time getting to the kingdom.
Now you're Putin.
You are, I mean, you are, God.
Every single thing about you just reminds me of a 12-year-old.
You know what?
I'm not dirty.
I am going to...
Oh, I'm about to get you.
I have something in here that I haven't even prepared you in our pre-production meeting.
Cam is dirtier than me.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
Never a day in my life.
You wanna know why?
I have two examples.
Never a day in my life.
I have two examples.
And I will strike both down,
cause you are lying.
You are the fabricated dirty man.
I spent the night-
Trash man, garbage guy, that's what you are.
Garbage guy, that's you.
I spent the night at Cam's house, yes or no?
Yep.
Did I bathe at your house?
Yes.
So I was in the shower that you shower with.
Oh my God.
I already know what you're about to say.
Cam and his wife have two separate sections of the shower for their body and hair stuff, right?
Yep.
I look at Cam's wife's side filled with colorful things.
A lot of aesthetic like soaps, shampoos, conditioners.
Separate bottles.
I look over at Cam's side of the shower
cam uses five in one shampoo conditioner body wash lotion hair follicle what i don't even know
what five things you can fit in one bottle and And Cam, how do you do that?
Defend yourself, Cam.
Five in one.
How does that even work?
Fabrication.
Absolute lie.
There wasn't a five in one shampoo, body wash, face wash, ass wash,
feet wash, shampoo and conditioner.
That was like 13 in one. You can literally brush your teeth with that bottle too.
You're disgusting.
Yes, it was there.
Okay, whose was it?
It was not Olivia's.
Okay.
It was not mine.
It was alone. I was out. I was not mine. It was a loan.
I was out.
I went across the street to a Dollar General.
The only thing they had.
So, yes, I bathed with a Dollar General 5-in-1.
It's not a regular basis.
Don't you dare play me because I put you on the greatest body wash.
Yo, so Cam goes.
I put you on the greatest body wash.
Cam does this when he showers, right?
He's like, he has one bottle. He squirts some in his hand his hand he's like let me get my nuts real quick he gets that then he's like
let me get my pits and he's like oh let me get my face okay he's like oh wait i can wash my hair
with this dude imagine that it's you are dirty you have to do what you have to do sometimes that's
why you smell like a freshly mowed lawn oh they had oh grass i smell like why you smell like a freshly mowed lawn. It's all they had! Oh, grass. I smell like grass. You smell like wet pennies.
You smell like a
Labrador retriever that's been playing. I smell like pennies.
Blood mouth over here thinks I smell like
copper. Okay, yeah, my mouth bleeds when I wake
up. So what? You smell like a
seven-year-old soccer trophy at the end of the season.
That's what you smell like. You just
won the game on the little field.
You didn't score. You definitely didn't score.
I was the lead MVP every year.
You were the MVP of soccer?
Every year.
Name two positions.
There was no positions of that age.
Just run around.
That's how you know you never played regulation soccer as a kid.
Just run around and play.
I had eight goals in one game.
No, you did not.
I swear to God.
I swear to God.
I was 6'3 in seventh grade.
I'm surprised they let you play.
No.
My mom would have to bring a birth certificate to every game because the other parents would be like oh get her who is that girl because i have long hair I thought you were talking about your mom.
Holy shit.
You had a tail, for real.
And long hair, buck teeth.
I was tall and skinny and had very smooth skin.
So they thought I was a woman.
And so they'd be like, stop that girl.
That girl about 15.
Just because she's a girl, she can't play in here.
Wait, wait, wait. So you were playing with other girls? Nothing that girl. That girl about 15. Just because she a girl, she can't play in here. And then be like.
Wait, wait, wait.
So you were playing with other girls?
No, I was playing with guys.
Come on, dog.
I was playing with the boys.
No, you weren't.
No, you weren't.
And then my mom got mad.
And she was like, if that's my daughter.
And she whooping on your son's ass.
And I asked my son.
And he's younger than y'all.
And she'd bring the birth certificate.
And I was younger than everybody.
Dog, you just said you played 8 you soccer with girls oh oh we're not getting off you we don't have to don't
get it twisted was it was the bottle there yes if it was in a court of law
yeah I used it okay it is not a normal It's not this hair.
It keeps choking me.
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Now on to the rest of the episode.
The You Should Know Podcast.
All right, this damn main keeps gagging me.
But it was a work with what you got situation.
You leave the next day.
I don't use 5-in- again I know and five and one is a
sin not only did you do that not only did you do that yes or no else did I do yes or no dirty yes
or no to rhyme fest yes or no cam as a group as a team did we go to the mall together this weekend
yes yes or no did we go out to eat before then yes yes or no did we all take our food to go yes okay so we went straight from the restaurant to the mall yes to go
plates in our car yes right yes cam got a sandwich right it was wrapped up we go to the mall we go
back to our cars cam as soon as we get back to the car reaches under his front tire i'm like oh did
somebody like put a bottle under his tire as a
prank so it pops out when he reverses? I look harder. Cam pulls out his sandwich from the
restaurant we had just gone to an hour and a half ago before the mall. Cam pulls out the sandwich
and I'm like, oh, he's going to throw it away. He put it on his car so his car doesn't smell bad
and he can just throw it away after.
Cam begins to unwrap the sandwich.
I kid you not.
It's my sandwich.
Oh, my God.
Cam eats his parking garage under the tire.
Two-hour-old sandwich.
And I have it on video. Play the video.
Eat it.
There's literally nothing on it. Sandwich and I have it on video play the video Okay, if you want your car smell like oil and vinegar and go for it
Bro he's eating parking garage meat that's crazy he went inside
there's no oh no what is wrong with that it's my sandwich under my car you cam there is crows
rodents and and germs under your tire why did you put it under the tire? I didn't want my car smelling like vinegar. Oh, but you... Be careful.
But you wanted ants and crow beak to be all over your pastrami sub.
Okay, if there was crow beak, we'd be having a different conversation.
It was double wrapped.
I literally picked it up.
I got re-hungry and I ate the sandwich right then and there.
And you want to know...
No shame in my bones.
In my blood.
In me.
I don't know.
There's no shame.
I ate the sandwich. Cam, it was under your tire in an open parking in my blood, in me. I don't know. There's no shame. I ate the sandwich.
Cam, it was under your tire in an open parking garage.
Hey, jackass, I put it there.
Hey, jackass, it didn't move.
I put it there so my car didn't smell bad.
You are the nastiest human I've ever met in my life.
I'm the nastiest human.
You're lucky I didn't say that on our live show in New York.
You're nasty.
I would have stood on business in New York.
Why are you proud of that?
First of all,
What is so dirty about it?
First of all,
your hair smells like your crotch.
That's the first problem.
Five in one shampoo.
You brush your teeth with the same body
you wash your ass with.
That should be a federal crime.
That's illegal.
You belong under the prison.
Second of all,
you're eating a two hour old sub
that was under your
Michelin tire that I literally saw ants, worms, snails,
and rats feeding off your leftovers.
What mall did we go to where there's snails, crow beak,
ants, birds, goo?
Yes or no, was the parking lot outside?
Yes.
Yes or no, was there a pigeon that walked by
right after you put that sandwich in your mouth? Don know oh of course you know yes there was everybody looked at
it and he was like oh i thought we were sharing because you took the rest of his sandwich that
you thought you put there for you you're nasty as shit oh i had a conversation with a bird i had
conversation with foul no i didn't whiskers what i don't know you. There's nothing wrong with that. I will die on that.
Parking garage, food.
All you have that I am dirty is that my gums bleed when I wake up in the morning.
No, your gums bleed.
You stink.
I don't. You don't stink.
Smell me right now. You don't stink.
Yes or no, every single time we're in a mall,
do you demand me to smell you? Yeah.
Why? To check. To check up what? If I smell good're in a mall, do you demand me to smell you? Yeah. Why? To check.
To check up what?
If I smell good or bad.
But why are you checking?
Because you take a lot of pictures in the mall of fans.
Because you believe in what?
Good hygiene.
No, you believe you stink.
Okay, yeah, I smell worse than the average human most times.
Why? Why is that?
We want to get into the dirty conversation. Why do you stink, huh?
I think it's a gene problem.
Hmm.
Dirt.
Hmm.
Nasty.
No.
No.
Smell me right now.
Get away from me.
Oh.
Oh.
I just saw the not so pearly gates.
I just saw.
That looked like an old fence. Like a wooden barn fence.
That was disgusting. I didn't like do an awful hair so hairy
Tigers get a winter tiger stripes doing squats
No
No
You're disgusting you want to go brrrr on my butt. I ate my sandwich
I ate my sandwich. I ate my sandwich, tin man, that I put outside of my car.
End of story.
Yeah, that's nasty.
Y'all are going to have to let me know.
I don't think I did anything wrong.
Speaking of food and preserving food and leftovers and stuff,
I had this weird epiphany from my childhood
last night in bed
when I was crying.
Why were you crying?
I don't have a heart.
But I was sleeping.
You were spazzing.
Yeah, you lost reception, guy.
I gotta point my antenna.
So I was laying down and I was thinking about my microwave.
I'm gonna stop you there.
What the hell did you just say to me?
You were sitting down thinking about your microwave.
Yeah, I was laying down thinking about my microwave in my bed, naked crying and a little wet.
And so, and I was watching Etta and Eddie on Netflix. I don't even know if it's on Netflix
I might have got it like it like a fire stick. I don't remember but I was watching
Maybe fairly odd parents to me to me to me Turner. He was wishing for a burner
Anyway, you know want it. Yeah, let everybody want it.
Scream like me.
One, two, three!
Three!
Careful, be careful.
I got sweet chin music in my clock.
No, these costumes are making us act out.
Jesus Christ.
I was thinking about my microwave.
What the hell were we talking about?
What?
It's like Honda.
What?
I was thinking about the mic.
Your hair got in my mouth.
Yeah, welcome.
That sounds crazy.
I was thinking about my mic chair.
Huh?
Which piece of hair was my tail
was it my downstairs okay no that's that would i'm sorry i apologize just kids that watch this no i'm i that was so sweaty so i'm see i was thinking about my microwave and that's the crate like
like bigfoot i was thinking about my bed.
I'm in my microwave in my bed, right?
And I remember, did you ever have weird microwave rituals as a kid?
What the hell did you just ask me?
Did you ever have weird microwave rituals as a kid?
You had a ritual for when you were young.
Yeah.
So I would say-
You want to know what my ritual was?
Open, click time, put it in, start.
Yeah, we know your life was f***ing miserable as a kid.
You had a horrible
childhood you had to get lasik when you're six and you couldn't breathe on your own so that's
mean so i would always get my hungry mans right you remember hungry man oh my god i would eat
those religiously that's maybe why my intestines are so black i'm just dead on the inside okay
be careful so i so i would cook the timer was like a minute and a half right
i would wait till i got to 30 seconds and i would run around my uh house and see how many laps i
could get in before the 30 seconds over and i would time myself each time to see how many laps
i could get my highest was six six or 30 seconds it's pretty impressive it's five seconds a lap
i was a fast kid.
No you weren't.
It had to stop whenever we got Malcolm, my dog, because I kicked him in the face one time because he was a puppy and he would like to chase me.
You know how dogs get in front of you?
Yeah.
Yeah, and I just accidentally hit him.
Didn't seem like much of an accident if he was in front of you.
No, he was faster than me. He was a little puppy.
And he was small.
And I was a big boy.
Oh!
That's the one you swallow! That's the one you keep inside. And I was a big boy. Oh!
That's the one you swallow.
That's the one you keep inside.
Have you ever shopped for women's clothing?
Have you?
No.
I went shopping for women's clothing the other day.
Your mind is just amazing.
I've always wanted to wear like... Never mind.
Okay, what the hell were you about to say?
You've always wanted to wear like, nevermind. Okay, what the hell were you about to say? You've always wanted to wear a lace?
What?
Not like I wanted to, but I wonder how it felt.
Like a thong, I wonder how that feels.
I know, just wait, wait, wait.
You wanna wear a thong?
No, I don't want to.
You wanna wear a thong?
No, I don't.
You just said you've always,
matter of fact, you said you've always,
not it's a recent, you've always wanted to wear a thong.
No, I've always wondered how it felt.
You got something to say?
No, I don't.
My ass feels good.
You agree?
It's time to strice.
No, I'm saying, like, how is that comfortable?
You know what I mean?
Like, imagine a piece of yarn in your butt crack.
Yeah.
And you're going like this all day.
You're playing yo-yo with your ass.
No, I don't understand it either.
Time out.
Rewind.
Why the hell were you shopping for women's clothing?
That's none of your business.
Ow.
Ow, ow, ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Oh, I think I broke my hand.
I think I broke my hand.
Do you know why I was shopping for women's clothing?
No.
You know.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I was shopping for women's clothing, right?
That shit, women's clothing, is bullshit.
It is insane.
Like, I was walking down the aisles, right?
So damn confused.
I was picking up a thing, and it was like three pieces of yarn, a big- blanket and then like some where you put your ankles and i was like where does this go on the
body what is this and it was 79.99 no there's some shit in liv's closet it literally looks like a
kitchen towel is connected by like a cobweb yeah and then it there's just like something for a tit
and then there's bedazzles somewhere yeah i'm like what is i'm like is this the front back
draws what is you know it'd be funny for a patreon episode absolutely not absolutely not And then there's bedazzles somewhere. I'm like, is this the front back draws?
What is this?
You know what would be funny for a Patreon episode?
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Nope.
Not happening.
It would be like for us to try to figure out where it goes on the body.
Like try to put it on ourselves.
Okay.
Yeah, that would be funny.
I'm down.
Like girls with like the back of this stuff, like that's the most confusing.
Like how does it attach?
How do you get it on?
You slide into it?
Do you jump on it?
Like another friend like corrals it in the back?
I don't understand.
And we talked about this on an earlier podcast,
but, like, the coating on pants.
Oh, my God.
Blue 43 wide, wide.
They're damn NFL audibles.
It's like Skyrise High Waist 1942 Jim Johnson.
I'm like, what?
Who?
I'm like, what are you wearing?
Yeah, and then you try to get if
you like say you like show your girl and be like this is it and i'm like no that's a that's a
maverick johnson you need the slim jones and i'm like what i'm like my shit says 34 yeah like that's
all 34 l 34 w that's all all it will ever say yeah and you make it a fit like skinny and relaxed but
it's it's it's it's no women's clothing... No, women's clothing, it's its own...
It's its own...
It sucks.
I'm not gonna lie.
How does it happen?
How do you do it?
I'm the sexy tin man.
You look like a flying squirrel.
Like a webbed squirrel.
Those are your wings.
I look like The Weeknd.
Oh, no. I'm gonna collect thisnd. Oh, oh, oh no.
I'm a collector's bro.
Your little daisy chain.
Honestly, what is it? Like, what was Teletubbies about?
You. You look like a Teletubby right now.
Because of this thing?
No, because the da- just everything.
No, what the hell were they though?
Were they like big ass bears?
That's the thing, I don't understand the plot of Teletubbies.
Kids shows don't- I don't even the plot Of Teletubbies Kids shows
I don't even know
If there is plots
For like kids shows
No kids shows
Definitely have plots
I don't think
I think it's just to keep
Like the little
Like adolescents
Like watching the show
Like they have episodes
I can name a hundred
Kids TV shows
All of them had plots
Go
Go
Wikipedia
Fairly Odd Parents
That's a cartoon
A kids cartoon
But no That's a different Kids Next Door That's a cartoon. A kid's cartoon. But no, that's a different.
Kids Next Door.
That's a cartoon.
You're naming cartoons.
SpongeBob.
That's a cartoon.
What are you saying?
A kid's show in a cartoon is completely different.
What?
Cartoons are made for kids, most of them.
Okay, yeah, kids.
But a kid's show is like young, like young, young.
What's the rating on
spongebob like i don't know the g for kids they literally have a girl named sandy cheeks and
they're in bikini bottom that's a little a little pushing an agenda that is a cartoon for it's a
kid's show it's on nickelode yes or no did you watch it when you were in high school yes or no
did you watch it in collegiate no you didn't't have Spongebob on in our dorm.
Wrong bitch.
Strike.
Strike him.
Strike him.
You.
I watched The Office in college and high school.
And Spongebob.
No, I didn't.
Wrong guy.
All right, bro.
But you're naming cartoons.
Yeah.
What's the difference between a kid's show and a cartoon?
Bro, a cartoon is like what you're naming.
Spongebob.
I Carly's of the naming. Spongebob.
iCarly's of the world.
That's not okay.
iCarly.
Cartoon.
That's not really a cartoon, but that's a show.
iCarly's a cartoon now.
It's animated.
No, it's not a cartoon, but those are all in the same category.
Kid shows.
Yeah.
Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
Cartoon.
Yes.
For kids.
Code Kid Next Door.
Code Kids.
Code Kids.
Kids Next Door. Yeah. Cartoon. Kids Next Door is a kid show. Kids. It door. Code kids. Code kids name. Kids next door.
Yeah.
Cartoon.
Kids next door is a kid show.
Kids. No, it is not.
It's in the name.
Kids next door.
Our definition.
I'm saying kids shows is like young shit, like Bubble Guppies, Paw Patrol.
Those are baby shows, dumbass.
For kids that their frontal lobe isn't there yet.
Exactly.
That's a kid.
Their knees aren't there
their spine isn't developed they still walk around like their knees can go
there's like but that's what i say as a kid show cartoons are cartoons what it's another gag the
hair is getting in my mouth no but i'm saying like they all, they all have plots. Because they have different episodes.
It's a different genre, I already told you.
Every show has different episodes.
Yes.
Oh my god. Wait. Everybody.
Shh. I f***ing won. I won.
I won the debate.
No you didn't.
I think we're even now.
Oh you think we're even off of one win?
Yes.
That's how you know you're a loser.
Wow.
What the hell?
It's my birthday.
When's my birthday?
February 16th. When's my birthday? April 15th? It's tax day. What's my favorite color? Oh
Hmm blue orange
Hearthstone didn't seem too confident. I don't care about you. Well. I know more about you good
There's more interesting than you best friend test right now. Okay best friend test all right
I guarantee I know more than you I guarantee I know more about you than you do me all right let's have a best friend test
because i've really recently i've been thinking that you don't love me anymore okay okay you know
you used to spank me on out the door i used to spank him when he leaves the door yeah have a good
day baby have a good day bebe and then i double kiss never said it like that i've never said it
ever i've never spanked your ass to have a good day, baby You've never spanked my ass. I've never spanked your ass and said had a good day baby with double kiss
No
Best friend test best friend test all right
Favorite color yours yeah, or mine mine orange no
Sorry, what's your favorite color?
What's my favorite color? Don't get to know. What's my favorite color? Red. Oh.
Oh!
1-0 for the bear.
Lion.
Okay.
What middle school did I go to?
What the f- Am I your best-
Am I a friend or a damn PI?
It's named after a street.
It's-
A lot of things are named after streets,
and streets are named after things.
I'll give you a hint our logo was the Knights
independence I Didn't grow up in Dallas independence nights Kelly Lane Kelly Lane what middle school that I go to I don't give a shit
No, you're so I know I know it is foster care fuck care. Fuck.
Foster care?
I don't want this big ass head.
This big head, baby.
No, my parents love me.
Can you say the same? The ones you have now.
The ones you have now that picked you up.
It's a dark joke.
Mom, get on him.
Lisa, you know I love you.
All right.
What? You can't even think of questions to ask me you don't love me you ask okay what size shoe oh that's not hmm dumb ass question okay what's
my aunt's name Carolyn the other one oh hold on hold on hold on Carolyn and Shelly yeah suck it
what's my aunt's name no you can't do the same question.
Because you don't fucking care.
I've never met your aunt.
My throat hurts.
I've never met your aunt.
You've never met my aunt.
I've never met your aunt.
You keep me away from your family.
You're like, that's my gross boyfriend.
My gross friend is what I call you.
Are you out of your mind?
You don't say that?
No.
All right.
Where was I going to go to college if I did not go to the school we went to?
Texas A&M Commerce.
Wrong.
Let me finish.
Where was I going to go to college if I did not play collegiate basketball?
Oh, Oklahoma State University.
Yeah.
Hey!
Oh, f***.
I'm going to f***ing say hello.
Can I join the party?
Oh, f***.
All right. Okay. join the party oh all right all right um you gotta ask a question okay okay um
oh oh don't do that what school division one now is a division one school what school offered me
on my signing day to the school we went to?
I was signing to the school we went to, but they offered me right before I signed.
It's now a D1.
It wasn't at the time.
It was a D2.
Tarleton.
Oh, shit.
Yeah!
I love you, boy.
You don't love me.
I don't.
I know you don't.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh!
This is a good one I know you're not going to get.
Okay.
What is the first pet, what kind of animal, and what was its name that ever came to my house?
My parents' house.
How the hell am I supposed to know that?
It's still there.
Or it left while you knew me.
But it was there like the first couple times you met me.
No, it's not.
You saw it.
There was only ever one animal in there.
It stunk.
There was only one animal in there.
Was it a cat?
No. Hell no. Then you never had two dogs in your. It stunk. There was only one animal in there. Was it a cat? No.
Hell no.
Then you never had two dogs in your house.
It was a turtle.
His name was Jaws.
You remember that.
Shit.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, I know his name was Jaws.
He killed my turtle.
Two of them.
What was the name of the pet that I had that died of a severe liver disease?
Dusty.
No.
What is the name of the pet that I had that died of a severe liver disease?
You had another animal?
Mm-hmm.
Really? Mm-hmm. Dog? Mm-mm. Wait. Oh, I do remember you saying. name of the pet that i had that died of a severe liver disease you had another animal really dog
wait oh i do remember you saying it was like some weird right it was a weird animal
no pretty i mean common yeah you had a cat yeah you had a cat died of a severe liver disease i
never met him thank god sammy girl i didn't mean to say thank god i mean like thank god girl say
he against the girl sammy she thank god that she wasn't there whenever i met you because i would Sammy, girl. I didn't mean to say thank God I was dead. I mean, like, thank God. It's a girl. Say he again. It's a girl. Sammy. She.
Thank God that she wasn't there whenever I met you because I would never have came over.
Wow.
I'm allergic to cats.
Okay, what's the first name of Meemaw?
What's her first name?
Miriam.
No.
You don't even know Meemaw.
I've never even asked her what her name is.
Her name is Meemaw to me.
What is my grandma's first name?
I love Meemaw.
Hi, Meemaw.
What's her name?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, Luther or something.
Luther? Is it like What's her name? I don't I don't know. I don't know Oh Luther or something
It's like an older person name
Shit, she's old Margaret close Maggie. No ma his correct me ma is right. Yes, Macy. No
Maya no may no
What is it? What is the name of the friend? Her name is Martha. I love you, Meemaw. Hi, Meemaw.
I love you.
What is the name of my friend that I took you over to her house, and we all played games
that one night.
We played catchphrase, and you had a panic.
You had a panic attack.
That's a lot of nights.
Wait.
Give me more of the situation, like the scene, because I do remember doing that.
It was you, me, Ryan.
I do remember that.
Edgar was there.
I think Steven.
It was a girl's house we went to?
Girl's house.
Huh? Was it Tiff? No. Who was it? I think. I don't know if Tiff was there. I think Steven. It was a girl's house we went to? Girl's house. Huh? Was it Tiff?
No. Who was it?
I don't know if Tiff was there.
Were they black or white? White.
Oh, God. That really shrinks it down with your friends.
I don't know. Who was it?
Macy. I don't remember her. Macy Farno.
I don't think I was there. Pastor Mark's daughter.
I don't think I was there. You were 100% there.
Oh, yeah, I was because I wasn't having a good time because I didn't know anybody,
and I was already anxious, and then y'all made me play an anxious written game.
So, yeah, I do remember that.
But I think we have something to debate about.
Okay.
So it's clear to say that I know more of you.
More of me?
Yeah.
Or do I just share more?
Because I trust you, and I confide in you.
You are a close cinder block of less emotions, hatred, and evil.
Oh my god.
What the hell?
There's my gross friend.
Is that how you feel about me?
Yeah.
You are a layer.
Ooh, sharp fangs.
Don't put that back.
You were spitting in that.
Hey, sharp fangs.
You were spitting in that. You were spitting in that.
Dude.
It's so f***ing salty.
That's your blood mouth.
Oh, Cam.
This is something I've been thinking about, right?
Isn't it crazy?
Isn't it crazy that we're on the phone, right?
You can be in Wisconsin.
I can be in Florida, right?
Totally different sides of the world. Never been to Wisconsin. They're on the exact, right? You can be in Wisconsin. I can be in Florida, right? Totally different sides of the world.
Never been to Wisconsin.
They're on the exact same side of the world.
We can be on the phone in two different locations, right?
Okay.
And we think it's in real time.
Isn't it crazy that phone calls are not in real time?
Like I'm saying, so like, right, say you're over there.
Say you're in Tallahassee, Florida, and I'm in Austin, Texas.
Sure.
And I'm like this, right?
Never been to Tallahassee.
Me neither. And so say I'm like this right okay hey cam how are you doing
what's up bro i'm good how are you isn't that crazy it's like a two second delay
well no it has to go to the sky and come back down that crazy but it think like in facetime
like when we face time not even a two second delay it's pretty like right no no it's not yes
no it's not no it's not is. No, it's not.
No, it's not.
You act like.
No, it's not.
Okay, bro.
You act like we're sending a damn message through a pigeon and he's having to fly.
What?
It's, you're literally saying, hey, and I'm saying, hey, right back.
No, two seconds later.
No, it's not. Because have you ever been on the phone with somebody in the car?
You probably have shit service then.
Who's your provider?
Verizon Wireless.
Me too.
Okay. Good service. I? Verizon Wireless. Me too. Okay.
Good service.
I take it back.
And so I'm in my car, and I'll say, hey, Camoan, and then I'll hear, hey, Camoan, in your car,
and then you'll hear, yes?
How are you going to tell me what I hear?
Because you're doing this damn conspiracy.
Oh, it's weird.
It takes time.
It's not a conspiracy.
No, it's not.
Bro, if you talk to me on FaceTime especially,
if you call me and you do a move, it might be millisecond delay.
Two seconds.
I counted.
I counted when I was on the phone with you earlier today.
What the hell do you gain from this?
Why did you bring this up?
I thought it was cool.
It's not.
I thought it was cool.
I'm sorry.
Isn't that crazy though?
You look like a little kid.
That's not crazy.
It's so normal.
Whatever.
Speaking of phones, I have another phone thing.
This is so embarrassing that I'm about to reveal this on the internet.
Okay.
So my parents back home, they miss me.
I haven't seen them in a while.
They're going through baby pictures and my mom always has collections of my old items.
God, my mom too.
They found my old iPod okay right my old ipod from like middle school okay that's that's a
dangerous device and they went to the notes app oh my god and at the time in middle school i always
knew that i was going to drop out of school i was like i'm not going to be in school i'm not going
to have a regular job i'm gonna do something. I just didn't know at the time what it was.
So at the time, I was thinking maybe I could be a rapper.
No, no there's not.
So I had some bars.
No, you did not.
And I wrote it and I write these in class.
And at the time I was super into M&M.
I kind of tried to get like you. You're at evil bars and my mom sent me the screenshot
Or it's not the screenshot send me a picture my mom sent me a picture of the phone of my bars
You have to rap for us right now
This is gonna be awful. I swear to God. This is real, too
I can't I can't I this is real
My tin man suits can not I I am so nervous. I don't know why my heart is racing right now.
I'm so scared. Jesus! You sound like a bad car trying to start.
Flunked out of science class twice.
What?
That's your opening start?
I was really trying to make it out.
Just calling yourself a dumbass.
That's the rhyme scheme.
Let's hear it.
Flunked out of science class twice.
Flunked out of math once.
It's like, do you have any substance besides your bad grades?
Plucked out of science class twice.
Plucked out of math once.
That's a three time fail.
It's not done. Dog, you suck.
It all comes together.
Ready.
Oh!
Flunked out of science class twice!
Flunked out of math once. That's a three times fail.
Guess I'm not that bad at school. Admit me in the full sail.
What?! What?
That is f***ing awful! That's so bad!
That's so bad! Did you get it?
Did you get it?
This is it. I'll read it one more time. Did I get what?
The bar. That shit- there was no bar to be had.
That was awful.
Get it, cause twice in science, once in math,
that's a three times fail.
Guess I'm not that bad at math
because I knew how much two times three.
Wait, what?
I didn't even think about.
You hit a bar, went over your head, didn't it?
It was actually not that bad.
I didn't even think about that.
Say it again.
Okay.
All the way start through.
Give it some cadence.
Alright, you want some cadence?
Yeah.
Flunked out of science.
Flunked out of science class twice.
Flunked out of math once.
That's a three times fail.
Guess I'm not that bad at school.
Admit me in a full sail.
The university?
That was online in the
the worst part about that okay i don't know if i hate the fact that you're just you suck at school
clearly or if you think adding two plus one really does something for you in this case
and full sale university is a pure creative college they don't give a shit if you can ask the bar get it
I'm bad at school three times fail. I could still get into full cell though. It met me into that John. That's a war
Then you like it a little bit. You got a rap genius that John then you can't that went over the head
When did you turn into like a o block ten man?
Like you just got out of nowhere.
What?
That was horrible.
Your mom should burn that iPad.
iPod.
Burn it.
That's what you did in class?
Yeah, all the time.
Is there more?
Because remember in 8 Mile, Eminem had the composition notebook?
Yeah, that was sick. So I made a composition notebook too, yeah.
I tried to do it.
I literally wrote maybe one rhyme i was like i'm
done and then run dmc had those big ass like gold rope chains so i remember i'd get tinfoil and i'd
crinkle it up and i'd make a chain out of it i spray painted it gold i wore it to school
i don't give a shit you it's like halloween was every day of your adolescence
every single day this is my most comfortable right now.
Holy shit.
Um, bro, you said a two.
That's all bar.
You started off your rap.
Failed science class twice.
Yeah.
I failed math class once.
Yeah.
That's a three times.
That's a three times fail.
Guess I'm not that bad at school. It made me a full sail.
That's a bar.
That is ass.
That is trash.
So bad.
You think so?
You were so innocent.
I wasn't going to make it out like that?
Oh, hell no.
You would have made it straight to your basement.
To the Harry Potter lounge.
I remember when I cooked that up in science.
I was like.
You were probably sitting there.
You were going like this your tails get happy
He said oh I
Was like I was like y'all gonna see next time y'all see me y'all gonna be pulling up to the high school reunion
I'm in a Lambo
So for that bar right there that full-sale bar wouldn't have got you a damn pack of ramen that shit would not have paid for
anything Horrible god, I appreciate your your openness though That full sale bar wouldn't have got you a damn pack of ramen. That shit would not have paid for anything.
That is horrible.
God, I appreciate your openness, though.
Gentlemen across the nation, I have an urgent message for you.
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The You Should Know Podcast.
All right, enough of your little M&M, little bunny rabbit over here.
None of that. That shit is ass.
Whatever.
But I have a question for you.
I want to pick your brain this time in the animal kingdom.
I have a good brain.
I don't know about that, but since you're so adamant about,
oh, I watch Animal Planet.
I do watch Animal Planet.
I know all things about animals.
You always say the dumbest of answers.
I'm really good with animals.
Stupid.
Okay.
I have a would you rather for you.
I love them.
Would you rather be stung by a warrior wasp or a duck-billed platypus?
That might be the easiest answer I've ever had and I'm finally gonna win one of these. No, you're not. A warrior wasp.
Easiest thing ever. I knew it. You're so- Oh, I finally won. I finally won. I finally won. Pick up a damn book for once.
Pick up a book. Oh, it's crazy because i don't have to you know why you think a warrior
wasp is worse than a duck-billed platypus yeah a duck-billed platypus yeah what do they do all day
just swim in the pond probably but they can sting the out of somebody if they need to they
have horns i think it's their tail they just whack them but oh it's like like an electric flash water
a duck bill platypus has the stinging power of a hundred hornets.
Okay, great.
Cool.
So what?
Yeah, cool.
So what?
Hurts like shit.
Way worse than warrior wasp.
I got a way to get away from that.
Don't go around it.
Them bitches can't run a thousand miles per hour.
Hey, duck-billed platypus.
See ya.
Don't want to pet you.
Bye-bye.
That's not, you're not in an open world simulator.
But you know, and guess what?
Wasp?
You never know.
I could be sitting here and it's a mother, it's warrior wasp the name warrior is in the night that means warrior wasp
that means he can fight so what which sting is worse is what i said would you rather be stung by
and i'm picking the warrior wasp 100 why a duck-billed platypus is equivalent to a hundred hornets.
Hey, a warrior wasp has never been a main character in a TV show before.
What?
Perry.
Phineas and Ferb, you need to read a book, bro. You're a grown-ass man.
The only thing you can quote for your argument is a damn cartoon.
Yeah. No, it's not, because guess what?
Yeah! No! Maybe! Yeah! No! Pick a side!
No because a warrior wasp, guess what? Wasps have caused thousands of diseases in this world.
Really? Name two!
Ebola.
Nope.
Really?
Yep.
Swine flu.
Nah.
Next!
But, but they have! They've, they've carried diseases, yes or no?
No!
A wasp doesn't carry diseases.
That's mosquitoes, dumb sack of shit!
I thought they were cousins.
No, they're not.
They're second cousins.
They're not even the same phylum.
I don't know if that's true.
So they can kiss and it's not weird.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm just saying, a warrior wasp, right?
You get stung, a warrior, he's going to yell hymns into you of his native language.
He's going to be like, I root for the country!
Salute, Canada!
No, a duck-billed platypus is going to hurt worse, 100%. Have you ever been stung in the foot by a wasp? No. You can't use that foot for two days. A duck-bill platypus is gonna hurt worse 100 have you ever been stung in the foot by a wasp
no you can't use that foot for two days a duckbill and it's a warrior wasp a duckbill platypus
literally can put someone they get stung by out of commission for weeks no they can't no they cannot
no they cannot no they cannot what which one of you most likely to get stung by
i don't probably a wasp.
Okay.
That wasn't the question.
See, that's why you don't get to do the would you rathers.
That's why you don't get to ask them.
Because you always specify the subsistence of them.
What?
You always specify them to where it narrows to your answer.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
Which one would you rather get bit by if you weren't in a pond of water and Phineas and Ferb never existed
That's what you said all I said is which would you rather get stung by you're the one saying oh?
I'm not ever gonna be close to water which you have a more likelihood you add the extra variables
Yeah, I'm just saying an open-world simulator. They are on different dimensions
We're not in an open-world simulator a warrior why were if your are readable if you're you read a book warrior
Why hasn't been used in war that's why they called it that.
In 1800 BC.
Read something, maybe an encyclopedia, maybe.
In 1800 BC.
I'm saying if you stick your arm through a glass pane and there's either a platypus,
see where are we getting glass panes from?
That's the scenario!
You stick your arm, are you rather getting whacked by Perry or are you getting stung by the warrior?
Perry's never hurt anybody. He does investigations.
Because he knows he can merc somebody if he needs to.
Yeah, a wasp, they don't even play play with them.
We're not using this as a kid show because they don't want a kid going,
I'm being a warrior wasp, grabbing it, then they're gone. Bye bye.
They damn sure don't want a kid grabbing a platypus.
You can grab a platypus. Who do you you are grab a grab who are you i can grab a platypus it's like grabbing a turtle you grab it by its shell we're away from the things don't
have shells yes and they don't have fangs yes they do they don't have shells they don't have i didn't
say the fangs i said you just said you grab it by its shell away from its face i said that for the
turtle listen i could tell you you you were bad at school you oh because you were just said you grab it by its shell away from its face. I said that for the turtle. Listen, I can tell you were bad at school.
You cheated.
Oh, because you were goaded in English.
Yes.
You suck.
You need to go back to your goaded English class and read.
You're dumb as hell and stupid as shit.
Let's help people.
Be careful.
Let's help some people out and then we'll get out of here.
Let's do it.
Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.
Dr. P.
Dr. P.
Dr. P.
Dr. P.
Dr. P.
Look, and I got my heart today from my Dr. P segment.
Hold on.
Let me take off my glove.
Dr. P, the best love doctor in the country.
A couple people reached out to Secretary Camp for Dr. P.
So I have one for you this week. You can keep your job.
Your arm's getting fired. Please don't sign.
Here we go.
Dear Dr. P. Hello.
I met this girl on my
campus. I'm assuming it's college if he said
campus. Campus is college. Okay. I met this girl
on my campus. Unless he's from Britain.
Reading a British accent, he might be from
Britain. I met this girl on my campus. Yeah. No'm reading a british accent he might be from britain almost go on my
campus yeah no i'm not i can't do that okay i met this girl on my campus okay started to talk to her
good we formed a somewhat good bond don't know what that means but we'll try to work through it
jesus we formed a somewhat good bond after getting to know her for a couple weeks i just came out and said it
no no watch it he said i just came out and said it do you have a boyfriend to which she replied yes
oh i need to know her answer even though she said yes oh my god i don't feel like backing off. My dog. What would you advise in this situation?
Oh, Dr. P.
Wow, first off, shout out this guy.
Holy shit.
You know Dr. P loves him a little toxic.
He's bold.
So he's straight up a five-second recap.
This man likes a girl, starts talking to her.
Hey, you got a man?
Sure do.
That's cool.
Don't care.
What do I do?
That's what he's saying.
You're already on the right track, playboy. This I gotta say toxic doctor this is what I gotta say it
really depends on what their relationship was before he asked that
what do you mean so she was giving flirty vibes mm-hmm she's down for the
cheat mmm and he might have messed it up by asking that question mmm you know what
I mean but so if you're
saying he would have stayed low-key stayed low-key and done something uncle p dr p is always for
your self-investigative research okay you need to find out the information before you ask it okay
he should have done the stalking he should have done done the lurking stalking on instagram not
in person uh watch not in person stalking the
instagrams you should have found out all this information and then you could have gone two
different routes with that you could have known she had a boyfriend ignored it kept the flirt going
and then got to the apex and then been like i know you know you you cheating you low down
two still ask her you grabbed the same finger for one still ask her that's two and then
see if she lies about it or not then you could see that's why you always got to do you're a
professional so you're a professional that's like watching game film before going to the game you
got to know the defensive you got to know your opponent exactly you got to know who you're
guarding do you push them left right and so then right now this is what you got to do you put
yourself in a little bit of a sticky bind what you have to do is be respectful she told you yes i have a boyfriend so you be like
right now you have to play the role as the good friend okay as a good friend you have good energy
always always a smile always a smile you never bring her any problems because that's what
boyfriends are for maybe bring a drink maybe bring me bring a drink to the next study like a diet coke maybe okay i was thinking like a starbucks
it's a female okay hey girls i drink diet coke call me um you look like a diet and so you always
be you always bring her good times you never bring her any problems you never bring her any any
controversial things ever that's what the boyfriend boyfriends are put on this earth to give girlfriends headaches.
The rebound,
the side piece is always there
to get the mind off the boyfriend.
You have to play
the best side piece ever.
I, Dr. P,
not Peyton Harden,
but Dr. P
is notorious
for being a great rebound
and a great side piece
because I will never bring you problems.
Just laughs and giggles
and great hugs. Okay, I will never bring you problems. Just laughs and giggles and great hugs.
Okay, so final diagnosis for this patient.
What would you advise if you were in his position?
Be respectful.
Okay.
Don't bring her problems.
Okay.
And let that chip your sail.
What was that?
Let that roll your motion.
You're missing a couple things.
Let that butter your biscuit.
There we go.
I'll take that one.
All right, guy.
You heard it.
I'm not going to say your name to protect you and maybe this woman as well.
Give us an update, too.
Yeah, definitely DM me back, and we might just talk about that next week.
See how it happened.
He's in a prime position.
I like this guy.
You should know, family.
What was that?
That was...
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
Dr. P.
Dr. P. Dr. P! Dr. P!
Dr. P!
Dr. P!
Dr. P!
Dr. P.
Dr. P.
Guys, we are not gonna have a pop culture this week because...
We have a plane to go catch.
We're literally dressed as a pop culture, so that should be enough.
But, episode 84, spooky season is upon us. Happy Halloween.
Everybody, please be safe when you go out trick-or-treating with friends, family.
If you've got kiddos, definitely be safe.
Check your candy, all that stuff.
It's sad we have to say it, but we do have to say it.
So make sure you stay safe.
Oh, if you're going to Halloween parties, do not drink and drive Uber.
It's not worth it.
This one night of your life is not worth your life, your family's life innocent bystanders and i'm gonna go one further if you go it's okay
can't fit on my name it's my glorious golden locks uh if you're going to parties make your
own drinks make your own everything don't let anybody give you anything just be super be cautious
be very vigilant uh this weekend i mean 365 but especially this weekend but that was the halloween
episode let us know what you absolutely loved about it the code to get your good karma he's I mean, 365, but especially this weekend. But that was the Halloween episode.
Let us know what you absolutely loved about it.
The code to get your good karma.
He's very 10.
His tinfoil is getting, it's all getting crooked.
Code for good karma.
Confuse the casuals.
This week is, what do you think it is?
HH.
HH what?
W.
No.
HH.
K. Happy Halloween, kids. Koalas. Koal No. H-H. K.
Happy Halloween, kids.
Koalas.
Koalas.
Come on now.
Happy Halloween, Koalas.
Happy Halloween, Koalas.
You can leave that.
You can leave H-H-K.
Leave it everywhere.
Remember, the Facebook page.
Link in the description.
There's multiple accounts already out there of, best way to say it,
probably fans of ours that just love the content, and they're kind of posting their own stuff,
but we want everybody on the official home.
So the real one is going to be linked in the description.
Follow that one.
All sorts of updates.
We're just going to reach a whole new crew of people out there.
And even if you follow us on other stuff, go over to Facebook,
add to that follow as well.
We absolutely love you all. New York, we are literally about to go catch a flight, we're gonna see you here in a couple nights we've already seen you it was fantastic to
meet all of you recap next week you look so so good new york but we're gonna get a brief recap
on next week's episode and then a full recap on the patreon next week 100 we absolutely love y'all
and remember one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to christmas and we will see you
next time i do believe in spooks.
I do, I do, I do.
I know I have a heart because it's broken.
There you go.
We love you.