You Should Know Podcast - EATING ON THE TOILET! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

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Starting point is 00:01:26 I'm Houston Hottie herself. Make this now. You talk to me. Oh, I was eating them buttermilk biscuits. Cam's built like Yes Jewels. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Our carpet stinks. Then there's hair right here, but there's no hair, like, right here. Put your legs down. We're back from New York City. We're back in Dallas. We're back for the people. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast. Episode 85.
Starting point is 00:02:05 Round of applause. Please. Wow. That sounded like war. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 85. It feels so good to be back. It feels like we are home.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Guys, if you're new here, if you haven't already, you can go below and subscribe and hit the bell. You're wrong. If you look even more below that, you see that comment section is filled with your name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good's just let's just say something real quick we need a great great great round of applause for the crowd in new york city one time in new york city
Starting point is 00:02:56 yep yep yep new york city let me say something to your face right now. Thank you so much to everybody that came October 28th to the Gramercy Theater sold out show in New York. And that crowd was literally insane. We'll talk about it more, but we just want to say thank you. That was one of the best nights of our lives. Thank you so much for making it so damn special. Everybody we met was so cool, so nice. Everybody that came and wore merch. Everybody came to the meet and greet. Everybody was just in the crowd making noise. Everybody gave us gifts. I'm rocking my tail. As you can see, I was gifted a tail in the middle of the show. I got all these bracelets on from the meet and greet. Thank you guys so much. I cannot wait to break this down a little more. We're going to talk about it briefly on the podcast, but we have a full, full breakdown of all the intricate stories, and there will be a vlog on the Patreon coming soon.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Guys, thank you so much. It feels so good to be back. We have a few more tickets left for December 7th at the Regent Theater in LA, so I'm telling you guys, in the next couple weeks, it will be sold out. We have a lot of surprises for that LA show because it is LA. We have a lot of friends there,
Starting point is 00:04:10 a lot of cool guests that will be there. We can't say too much. But I'm telling you, you're not just getting the You Should Know podcast in LA. So guys, get the tickets. It's the first link in the description.
Starting point is 00:04:21 December 7th at the Regent Theater. Now up to the rest of the episode oh coming in oh no oh no new york done took a lot oh no oh no we got co-host Cam back in the studio. Hippie, hippie, hippie, hippie, hippie. Oh, we got a hippie fan in the building. Hey there, liberals. We got co-host Cam with a cane that fixing that hip back in the studio. How you feeling, bubba?
Starting point is 00:05:04 I feel good, Squire. I feel real good, sir. You added a Q, Squire. I don't know if I like that. Because I'm above you now. When I have this cane, I'll work for no one. I'm not going to lie, that's a sturdy-ass cane. Very solid cane.
Starting point is 00:05:17 It's like a lion's head on it, too. Oh my god, the whole time I thought it was a falcon. I thought it was an eagle at first impression. It's a lion. So it's like a tadpole lion. It's like a lion with like locks. Be careful. Come on now.
Starting point is 00:05:30 It's like lions after a good lock sesh. Like they use the gel. Lock sesh. Describe how a lock sesh goes. You sit down. Your hair's out. Pick it out. And then they go through.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Peek-a-boo. They divide it. Section it. Depends on what kind of locks you want. Whoever the hairdresser is. But who would normally? You're fishing for cancelable content. And you need to stop.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Whoever the hairdresser sits down, divides it, typically into four regions. And then depending on what kind you want. I have friends. I have brothers. Not that type of brother. My brothers. Damn it. I have brothers not that type of brother literal my brothers damn it be careful
Starting point is 00:06:06 Olivia has a brother that has had some Gabe has never had locks Deshawn oh yeah
Starting point is 00:06:14 thank you yeah both the uncles too shout out to Jerry Uncle Jonah Day Day everybody that's good people man
Starting point is 00:06:20 oh no this cane is badass it was given to me at the meet and greet no it wasn't no it simply wasn't it was given to us at the meet and greet no it wasn't no it simply wasn't it was given to us on stage that's 100 true at the end of the show it was not at the top yeah someone's script was it the aggressive screamer no no that guy was a legend i was like oh my god scared the shit out of us i was like that is a very uh aggressive yell mister but
Starting point is 00:06:41 i think yeah no that's sick they get i they get up heading your tail grandma to i'm not grab a look at my time to raccoon too so what is it skunk smells like what's good it smells like it's going to do you get that's the issue is that my sister record for the people please to the good that was ruby are home
Starting point is 00:07:02 home do this if you're a good little it's like there Ruby. Oh, no. Dude, that has some... It feels great. There's a good little... It's like there's a tailbone in there. Yeah, it's like a good inside. Like, don't sniff it. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:07:11 Gotta sniff your tail. All right, before we get in... Getting aware. Before we get into the conversations, more than likely a debate, knowing us and the funnies, New York City. New York City!
Starting point is 00:07:23 New York City! Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. We do not own the rights to this song. On me tonight. Alright, your eyes are very dreamy and wet. Whenever I look at your eyes, I think wet. Whenever I think of your belly button, lower back, or behind the knee, I also think wet. Look at my lower back.
Starting point is 00:07:44 You shaved it! Yes, sir! He shaved his lower back or behind the knee i also think what look at my lower back you shaved it yes sir he shaved his lower back babe there's no more taco taco meat taco meat i do too probably shave some other things oh welcome you know why i did why because i shaved it before we went to new york why did you because do not Do not cane point me. Put my cane in your mouth. So you can say them, but I can't. I have to pet your tail and you can moan, but you can't simply gobble on the cane.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Gobble is a sick word. Sick adjective. No. It's not an adjective. It's a verb. It's a verb. I was good at English. I was good at English. I got an a plus on all my bullshit essays whatever guy
Starting point is 00:08:26 clap more dare you dude my hips actually um but uh oh i got my wrist candy too no shut up what are we talking about new york city no but you said brought something up gobble a cane no before that lower back you shaved lower shave my lower back because there's parts of the show where my shirt might pop up and i was wearing a skimpy shirt it's all it's like i'll be tan oh my god oh my god oh my god i have to say something about that what i did not realize this until the day of the show mama live was doing an amazing job being the hbic she was steaming our shirts in the green room behind stage right yeah your shirt fell i picked it. I picked it up. This man is 6'7". The shirt was a medium.
Starting point is 00:09:06 You have to defend yourself right now. No, it was not. Oh! No, it was not. Oh, no, no, no. It was a large. It was a large. If you, if that.
Starting point is 00:09:11 My jacket was a medium. That doesn't make sense, but it fit you. It looked tailored. And even our photographer, Yomi. Shout out to Yomi. She said. She's sick. Oh, I just want to be clear.
Starting point is 00:09:22 There are so many friends, family in that green room. Nobody complimented my outfit. The person we just met that day. I complimented your outfit literally before you even had it. Make that make sense. Thank you, Liv. We helped you pick it out. We helped you pick it out.
Starting point is 00:09:40 I said that jacket on you would look unbelievable. You left. Oh, you left you oh oh you left said store and three days later you returned to said store and bought purchase jackets complete fabrication and lie it is well documented because that we talked about when we looked at dates listen dumbass big head nasty bro you you're you remind me of an elephant's hooves. How you behave. That is rude. So you're calling me dirty and heavy.
Starting point is 00:10:08 That's an elephant's hooves. Dirty and heavy. Dirty and heavy. Ah! No, stop my cat! Use your cane. Oh, my legs are sore. We'll get off this.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Hey, shrink more. It's cold. Oh, my God. Hello. Good morning. Top of the morning to you. There you are. Hey. Whoa, I thought of the morning to you. There you are. Hey.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Whoa, I thought you were out of town. All right, go. Lane landed early? It's documented on the... You said... It's documented on the podcast. It's whenever I did that. And that was weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And I got the jacket literally the day before the plane took off is it not the same no you said three days later okay i lied about oh so cam's a documented liar and you're not oh what have i ever lied about oh this the dreadlock on this line is about to go right in between your eyes what have i ever lied about all right that's too long of a list it would literally be exactly it'd be a three-hour episode of just your family how that holds up in court harvey held up in what? No. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Let's talk about New York. Shut up, Louis Lit. You want to be Louis Lit. There's a small part of you that wants to be Louis Lit. You got the same grill as Louis Lit. Take out? No, I don't. If anyone's grill, I have the grill of probably Jessica.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Whoever had the best grill on that show. Dude, Jessica was beautiful. Jessica was beautiful. Like she's dead. She's her character. Anyway, New York City. jessica was beautiful like she's dead she's okay um anyway new york city um i'm gonna start off by saying obviously the show is fantastic we know that amazing show beautiful show great scenery it was amazing show uh girl but the crowd was unbelievable bro like it's from the jump so the
Starting point is 00:11:42 more i thought we had a long plane ride back and the more i thought about i sat there and pondered and i was like i don't even know if i want to say this but they they might have brought more energy than home crowd dallas show yeah they did like it was crazy they did the new york show was oh it was so sick and you know how i am with every show even when we record to the live shows after i'm like dude they hated it or like this sucks or whatever and but i knew it was a good show but i'm always hard on like myself and us just like uh but then i went to our tag photos i was watching all the videos and i was like bro it was unreal bro i didn't realize we didn't start talking until like yeah 35 seconds they were chanting and cheering it was crazy we couldn't start the show. It was crazy. They were nuts, bro.
Starting point is 00:12:25 New York. LA, you got... I don't think they can. I'm not one to like, all right, double dog dare you. I'm just saying, you got a lot. New York bit off a lot,
Starting point is 00:12:34 but they could chew it. So I don't know how, I don't know. I'm just saying LA. We love y'all. We'll see you soon, but New York right now is like the mecca.
Starting point is 00:12:41 The mecca. What is it? The upper echelon. What? No. The climax. Stop it. Apex.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Stop it. When you compare something to something. The alpha. The top dog. Oh my God. Shut up with your wolf and sheep shit. The thing, like the. Pinnacle.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Damn you. Shit. I'm about to hit myself with this dreadlock. Okay, comparing it. They are the standard. Shit. That was so hard for such a level one winner. Yeah, that was so bad.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Okay, anyway, enough of the show. First off, we'll deep, deep, like, we'll talk about a lot here, but a deep, full-blown dive on everything New York, including the show, will be on Patreon. Go look at that. But in the extended of this week's extended episode, did you think about new york i know first off before you answer okay we were there for four days and we simply did not have as much time as we thought we did like we were expecting like dude we're gonna go see statue of liberty we're gonna
Starting point is 00:13:38 go eat at this dude we were just busy like yeah it's crazy how the only thing we had to do there was the live show but so many things kept popping up. And it was fantastic. We didn't get to be as much a tourist as we wanted to, but what did you think about New York, the place in general? Before we get into New York, I just want to say, because I know the Dallas crowd is really upset that we just said that. Dallas?
Starting point is 00:13:55 That Dallas show is fantastic. 100%. And it will always have the most special place in our heart because that was our first one. 100%. There's like, they all have a, like, there's a, I'm getting it made, but there's like a thing in my house of that Dallas show. It's not like they just smoked your boots out of it.
Starting point is 00:14:09 No, it wasn't a smoking of the boots. It was a one and two. One B. I'd say one and two, but it wasn't like first place and eighth. It wasn't like a damn, you know. We got to see how LA comes. I'm very nervous to see how LA comes because LA, everybody's cool. But that's what I thought about New York.
Starting point is 00:14:25 I thought New York, just because, okay, any of our followers from not in the South, y'all don't understand that Southern hospitality is a real thing. Oh my God,
Starting point is 00:14:33 New York is so rude. But I don't think they're not actively trying to be rude. They're just born into it. That's just their way of life. So us going into it, we're expecting like,
Starting point is 00:14:42 oh, tough crowd. Jokes will land, but it'll just be like a, huh. Like that type thing. Completely not. No, God, they're so involved. The crowd was crazy. So good.
Starting point is 00:14:52 To answer your question, how I felt about New York. Immediate anxiety attack as soon as we left the airport. The second we got off the plane. It started before we left. Your damn bag, that fiasco. Oh, my God. It's on the vlog. It's going to be on the vlog.
Starting point is 00:15:05 But basically, you know how whenever you get your luggage, it's on the conveyor belt? You know, your luggage is on the conveyor belt whenever you go to pick it up and you leave? Hey, mine was on the floor in the other side of the building. Eight feet away. Eight feet away. One guy kicked it for no fucking reason. Like, New Yorkork what's happening but um immediate anxiety attacks like you we we got out of the airport to like the pickup for our uber you would have thought
Starting point is 00:15:32 there was no words that are spoken in new york only yelling and honks yeah and i was like i can't hear myself think yeah um so busy um the one thing i do like about new york people can dress bro like the clothing in new york was immaculate everybody has just like their own drip yeah like there's there's obvious mainstream stuff that it's like that would look cool wherever you are but it's like new york it's like i say this at the risk of sounding like an ass but i don't mean to it's almost as if everything's like slightly dingy yeah or like dirty it's like street not not like dirt but like for you know i'm saying like for a reason like vintage almost like vintage like there's like holes in it and stuff like that but
Starting point is 00:16:14 it's just sick like it matches it literally matches the energy of the city we were going to we were driving to some we're going to go shoot with roaring mall yeah and we were driving past a coffee shop a dude was literally in like a fifteen thousand dollar outfit going to get coffee yeah it was just not that not that you have to have fifteen thousand dollars to look cool but it's like everyone just in their own just regular stuff like like one guy would have quadruple xl pants and on me it looked moronic but on him it looked sick so cool another guy had on jeans everything's rolled up showed the sock showed the shoe had a little blazer i'm just like bro it's like everyone here's just like you're
Starting point is 00:16:49 born into being rude and having sweat and it's just like one thing about new york is i've never seen so many people cry and i've never seen so many people fall yeah so many people touched earth that woman in time square god that could have been horrible that could have been we'll talk about it on the extended but basically she busted ass she was about in her late 50s
Starting point is 00:17:10 almost 60s and she legit could have broke a hip she didn't thank god and I'm not gonna lie I've never seen more people have tears in their eyes every building I went to
Starting point is 00:17:19 there was at least one person crying because of the why is everybody so sad here honestly like what like everyone hotel somebody's crying oh the kid the little girl got lost bad parents crazy crazy place um
Starting point is 00:17:33 but okay outside of that smelled like piss the place itself for being a tourist so not the crying not the swag but just like the way of life how we walked everywhere the food the the tourist attraction stuff like that what do you think i respect it a lot and i get it yeah not for me but just like the way of life how we walked everywhere the food the the tourist attraction stuff like that what do you think i respect it a lot and i get it yeah not for me yeah i think i need to go back simply without working 100 maybe i can get a full because the people our friends that we went with they had a good time like they were out there exploring for real yeah and that looked like fun fun yeah and i was like we just never got to do that um shout out to stadium goods we went to stadium goods they hooked us up with some cool stuff um shout out to rory
Starting point is 00:18:10 and maul that was like a like a childhood like thing for me milestone and it's crazy we got to do a episode on their patreon if you're not 18 and up do not go watch it yeah we it's not this i promise you it's like very mature don't go over there if you're not but if you are 18 and up go go check out their patreon uh we got they came to the show yeah literally everyone from top to bottom like their whole crew is just so cool just love all of them like just great energy great vibes they're all it's just one big working machine cogs are always moving like it's just it's dope yeah and we're gonna take some of their set and put it on ours their set is insane um but yeah oh one of the things i was like i'm really in new york
Starting point is 00:18:49 is we went to starbucks the first real day it was day before the show yeah it was friday yeah friday friday morning starbucks across the street from our hotel just go to starbucks whatever get a coffee coffee a little breakfast whatever it's a group of young ladies coming about our age i'm a gentleman i'm from the south my mom i have a black mother she raised me you treat women you know you're from the set you know what i mean i just move a certain way i was like these ladies coming in from a certain cloth exactly i'm gonna hold the door for these ladies y'all have a beautiful morning type shit i'll open the door for them they literally looked at me like i spit in their mouth yeah okay not their mouth
Starting point is 00:19:34 oh uh but yeah i opened the door for them i said they literally looked they looked at me like this they went yeah it's it is it's so strange like people think it's almost so ass backwards there like people think acts of kindness is like you're like spiting someone it's it's a strange place yeah but uh overall love love the people of new york are you should know people if you need love you should know people of New York. Everybody seemed to have fun at the after party except for me. Everybody got fired. As long as the fans had fun, that's all that matters. Y'all had a really personal experience.
Starting point is 00:20:20 A little too personal. It was like this. I'm like uh no it was great we love you everybody and the great thing about the after party place fucking sorry oh you had fun i'm kidding hi john hey cam how was love no house do you remember i was like i literally was like this. But one of the cool things, there were some really cool, like, bros at the after party. There really was, yeah. Dude, they were playing pool the whole time.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Pink Ushado hat. They had this on. They were really cool. I literally handed them a bottle, and bro went crazy. The really cool dudes, everybody was wearing the merch. He's going through something. There was a bodybuilder girl that literally threatened to fight me
Starting point is 00:21:07 in the section. There was a correctional officer that showed us her bow. I was like, am I under arrest? What is this? So many people had such heartfelt stories too. A lot of hugs and tears.
Starting point is 00:21:17 We love, like obviously the after party is designed for us to go out, celebrate the amazing show that we just had that y'all made happen, made a reality and came to, and then y'all can come as well.
Starting point is 00:21:28 We all just like a big party. But at the same time, at some of the, I mean, there's been two, but at both after parties, that's when we can actually talk. And like you said, to your point, there was some really deep stuff. There's really just fun, upbeat things.
Starting point is 00:21:46 A lot of just stories that were shared. It was sick. Shout out to the people that came. There was a second show. Same facts. A lot of people. There's two women. I forgot their name, but they were at the Dallas show, and they made custom shirts.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I remember y'all. Y'all came to the meet and greet. Shayna. Catherine. Don't say the one part, but with the hippie shirt. That was sick. Catherine was dope. Shayna, of of course just a goat from amsterdam but uh oh uh brooke from the from the discord she's a legend um uh chloe with the tattoo yeah it was so many cool like y'all are becoming like a family eliza was there yeah it was so dope we love y'all um we'll talk about more in
Starting point is 00:22:21 new york we got to move on. It's 20 minutes in. It's not a bird. It's not a plane. It's a ball trimmer sent from space. Whoa. Gentlemen, our friends over at Manscaped have been working night and day to bring you a below the waist grooming experience like no other with their brand new performance package 5.0. Featuring the lawnmower 5.0, we. Featuring the Lawn Mower 5.0,
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Starting point is 00:23:43 And a new foil blade to go as smooth wherever your heart desires get 20 off plus free shipping with the code psh at manscaped.com that's 20 off plus free shipping with the code psh at manscaped.com i can promise you've never seen a ball trimmer look like a spaceship get Get yours today from our folks at Manscaped. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. One thing I realized about myself. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:24:15 That's always frightening, to be honest. If it's a realization that you had, it's going to be crazy. It's frightening. I don't smell good on planes, no matter how hard I try. There's something about that altitude that does something to my body and my breath. Okay. Okay. My breath wasn't hot in there.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Your breath smelled like bark. It literally smelled like wood chips. But I don't understand that. Me neither. The altitude does nothing. Yeah. No, it doesn't. No, because literally, I got prescription mouthwash.
Starting point is 00:24:46 I called one of my dentist friends, and I said, give me prescription mouthwash, because I know how my breath gets on planes. I don't know if it's the Biscoff or the nuts. I don't know what it is. But I used the prescription mouthwash. The 13 garden salsa mini sun chips. Dude, that's broken. Well, it's so small.
Starting point is 00:25:05 It's so small. I want to be like, hey, give me six of those, 14 Biscoffs, and silence. On Delta, they have like options. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Like other planes, it's like nuts or Biscoff or whatever. Delta has like options. It's like granola bar, nuts, sun chips, or Biscoff.
Starting point is 00:25:19 And we both go, can I take the lot? Give me all four. But yeah, and so, but I realized. No and so but i realized no no no why i don't know i used the prescription mouthwash right before we got on the plane like i went to the bathroom that's why you went to the bathroom again you sick and i was like i will smell good on this flight like i will my mouth at least my body i can't do anything are
Starting point is 00:25:42 you just angst like is it just pure anxiety? I don't know, but... And I get that film over the teeth. Bro, you're not... It's like... You're not going to bed. Like, what's filming in your mouth? I don't know, bro. I think it's the clouds coming in from the...
Starting point is 00:25:56 It has nothing to do with the atmosphere. It has absolutely nothing to do with... You are in a pressurized cabin. It's the same as above. It may be the pressure. It sucks your mouth. Do you ever feel that in your brain? Your brain gets smushed on a plane?
Starting point is 00:26:06 No, something popped in my head. It was bad. But there's a point, because me and Cam, we sync movies on the plane, so we watch the same movie at the same time. It's a little date night.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Yeah, it's fun. And so, Liv, and so, there was one part, like it was a, there was a great part of the movie and I was like,
Starting point is 00:26:22 hey, Cam, you see that? I was like, oh, God. I said, yeah, I see it. Now I smell it, too. I didn't know we were watching 4D. Yeah, Scratch and Sneef movie. Yeah, I still don't believe in those.
Starting point is 00:26:31 It's not real. Well, you don't believe in much. Do you believe in Christ? Of course I do. Of course I do. Drogon didn't get to make it to New York. We couldn't deflate the little bastard. We tried, bro, like all the way up yeah i don't know but i don't
Starting point is 00:26:47 know what it is about planes bro i can't i can't no you do stink but it's like it's i just don't get it it's like wake up but honestly okay it could be one thing you always layer up like heavily on a plane it's cold take it off like turn the air off what are you doing no you always have like double triple layers on a plane no i don't no i do not i wear double i wear a full-blown nike tech on because it's new york it was 64 i thought it was gonna be cold in new york but the the thing i do is i do layer my bottoms because i get i get sweaty ass syndrome on the planes you get sweaty ass syndrome you get sass sweaty ass syndrome because you have three layers on? No, I could literally be in a thong.
Starting point is 00:27:28 My ass will be wet. It has nothing to do like... Okay. You in a thong. Ooh. Honest to God. Yeah, you'd like it? That is one of the scariest pictures I've ever had to create out of my own imagination.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Why? That is terrifying. Why? So long. It's like just... Hello. Good morning to you. You like your morning coffee? So tall, rather. Yeah, Why? So long. It's like just so... Hello. Good morning to you. You like your morning coffee?
Starting point is 00:27:47 So tall, rather. Yeah, yeah. So hairy. So skinny. Yeah. It's just, that's frightening. I think my body hair proportions is weird. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:27:58 It really is. The back of your knees are baby ass smooth. Look at it. It's just a bald spot. Yeah, it's just a bald spot yeah it's like balls right here a neat a knee barber and then there's hair right here but there's no hair like right here put your legs down i was giving them a diagram yeah they were about to see a that would have been an immediate cut but yeah i don't know what it is on planes bro i i i i you know what i mean uh wait what song is that planes, bro. I, I, I, I, I. You know what I mean? Wait, what song is that? I, I, I.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Brrr. Jungle beats. Holler at me. I sing it. What's that song called? What's the name of that tune? Can't sing it. Be careful.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Two of you, some hot, hot. Like I told you, I said, see when I shot, shot. Shot what? That's how I have to sing those songs. Oh, no, no, no, no. Matter of fact, now that I'm thinking about it, to hell with me, you are a sick bastard. You are one of the sickest freaks I know.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I'm a sick bastard. That's the one thing I'm learning about you the more time I spend with you. You are gross. Okay, so I eat a sandwich under a tire one time, and now I'm as dirty as you. Five in one shampoo. That was, okay, I already, I told America, I told the United Nations, I told everyone. one time and now i'm as dirty as you five in one shampoo that was okay i already i told america i told the united nations i told everyone it was a one-time buy literally used it once late at night
Starting point is 00:29:10 had to bathe quick dollar generals no we were in new york the first day we landed new york we were hungry off the plane we got to our hotel we checked in we were in new york let's go get food let's go to a new york restaurant for the first time there we go I think it was like Bill's Burgers Something it was shit We sit down We all order our food The food comes We're eating our cuisine
Starting point is 00:29:32 Having a good time We're in New York Oh my god New York food I don't kiss mine I don't kiss my food You kiss me when I eat When I eat something
Starting point is 00:29:40 I kiss you when you eat something. You need a brain cleanse. You need Christ. I mean, you need a Bible study. You need a devotional. It's going to be hard? It's going to be real hard. That meeting's going to be a long one.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Please, Sire! Lord! No, we're eating our food, right? Yeah. We're eating. What's disgusting? We're halfway through our meal, right? Cam goes, oops, I gotta go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Oops. It was like a mistake. What do you mean, oops? Cam says, I gotta go take a shit. First of all, why are you announcing that over my green beans? I have to do it. Okay, the announcement, I didn't have to make a PSA. But bodily function, sue me.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Do you not know your body timing? Go before. I didn't have to poop before. You're like a little boy, dog. How am I? I didn't have to poop before. I had to poop in the moment. I poop.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I have to poop, I poop. You have to poop, you hold. to poop in the moment. I poop. So I have to poop. I poop. You have to poop. You hold. That's why your insides suck. Your digestive system is magical how fast it works. You are halfway through your cuisine and now you got to go alleviate your bowels. That is a clean system. That is a clean, well-oiled machine.
Starting point is 00:30:58 I kid you not. Halfway through a meal. Cam gets up, bends over the table. Oh, God. Heads to the bathroom. Ten minutes go by. Aggressive shit time. Ten minutes.
Starting point is 00:31:08 That's a long shit time. I know it's aggressive. No, aggressive would be like a 45 second. You sit down. No, that means that motherfucker was just, that was ready to fall. You had to work for that, John. I did. It was one part.
Starting point is 00:31:19 You had to stretch. I had to. You put on a headband for that one. You were sweating. Toes were curling. Shirtless in a restaurant taking a poop. You had to un? I had to. You put on a headband for that one. Okay. You were sweating. I was shirtless in a restaurant. Toes were curling. Shirtless in a restaurant taking a poop. You had to unlace your sneakers. I said, hey, brother, can you fan me?
Starting point is 00:31:32 I need some help. Oh, God. Cam comes back to the table ten minutes later. Sits down like nothing's happening. I kid you not. Cam had a burger. Cam goes like this. It's a sandwich. what are you wiping off what are you wiping off your hands I think I think that was just a presentation I I definitely
Starting point is 00:31:56 washed warm water double soap lather it up never double soap to your life you don't know what I do myself you don't know how I soap you don't know where i get your cane out of my face get your cane out get your face out of my cane sue me i had to poop i go don't you dare rub your tail mid-sentence you literally just said we're not in costume get that off you matter of fact no it's my protective blanket okay i had to poop and i can't what am i supposed to just stare at my food i'm gonna finish it i paid for it you know me i'm gonna finish every damn bite, and then I'm going to finish yours. The fact that you reset your stomach to eat more
Starting point is 00:32:28 is criminal behavior. Hello, checkpoint. I can now finish the burger. My appetite's done. If I go into a bathroom and smell the smell of my own creation, I don't want to eat anymore. But that doesn't count, because you have the stomach capacity of a small raven.
Starting point is 00:32:46 Like, you can't eat a lot ever. You can't eat a lot of food ever. You eat two bites and you're done. And then you get little pecks. You're literally like a crow. You're feral. Like, I can eat everything on the whole table. You're literally like a falcon.
Starting point is 00:33:01 If I have to poop, I'm going to go poop. I don't care what you, I don't care what my wife or the rest of our crew has to say. I went and pooped. I double layered with the soap, washed with very warm water, about 20, 30 seconds,
Starting point is 00:33:13 came back, finished the burger. That's like charging your phone before a road trip. You're like, you have to like recharge your stomach to go eat some more. Like that's... Honestly, I could have finished the burger,
Starting point is 00:33:24 but did you want to smell my inside sitting at the table it was either shit down my leg or go shit in a porcelain throne what was this move i don't that's i don't know you had you had shit crumbs on your head i did not you had dingleberry i did not have dingleberry fingers i did not have dingleberry fingers shit crumbs or poop phalanges none of none of the above i think that was just for i don't know i was resetting my mind. But the fact is, no one acknowledged you were coming back,
Starting point is 00:33:47 so you weren't making a presentation for anybody. That was genuine. Let's get back to it. And then you went like this. If we do burger, you're a nasty freak. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:59 I did that for the queso, not the burger. There was queso under the fingernail. Oh! I had to get it out. What? There was queso still in your fingernail from the first trip no bastard oh i just double layered and washed with soap what did i say a cuss word when i was sick you did not you did not oh my god i'm about
Starting point is 00:34:20 to debunk you right now i'm about to debunk you it's. I'm about to debunk you. It's another GIF. You did not surgery wash your hands. You did not fingernail wash. Cam, on your dog's life. No, I didn't fingernail wash. So you still have fingernail juice. I ate queso when I came back. I ate queso when I came back.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Cry all you want. That wasn't queso. Cry all you want, Lionel Richie. I don't know why I said that. Be you want lionel richie i don't know i don't know why i said that be careful is he dead i don't know i think he's dead god bless him bless his soul you're a sick bastard i love i love that every week we're progressively progressively finding out that cam's more disgusting because it's hard you know what whenever i started the podcast i knew i'm not gonna hide myself i'm gonna be straight direct to the people and tell
Starting point is 00:35:04 them all my shit. So me standing up at dinner going, hey, I'm going to go drop a deuce. I'll be back in a quarter. That's not being direct. That's hiding to the people. I would say, hey, I'll have to take a phone call. I'm going to be back. And then I come back. I'm saying to the people, the whole
Starting point is 00:35:20 We want to, you want to IRL stream it to them? Hey, taking a shit at Bill's Burger. Alright guys, let's go back. I'm saying, you try to present yourself as this normal guy that has no weird tendencies, all this. Having to poop. Now that we're over a year in, it's hard, bud. Now, it's your time.
Starting point is 00:35:39 No, you're just so distraught with your own disgust. There's a lot of D. There's a lot of D. You are so... You are so distraught with your own disgust there's a lot of d there's a lot of d you are so you are so distraught with your own disgust that you just have to you have to pinpoint every one of my normal interactions that's not normal bro it's not normal to factory reset your stomach and then finish a double quarter pounder let's let's try it we were not at mcdonald's we were at bills i had a smash burger, I think. No, that was the third day.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Let's just say it for what it is. Let's do the Pythagorean theorem on it, and let's just break it down. I don't know what that is. Okay. Man has to poop. Yep. Open bathroom. Yep.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Man poops in open bathroom. Okay. Man comes back to half-finished meal. Man still hungry. Man with half-finished meal. Man eat. But you weren't hungry. So all of us, so I go from I can eat anything in sight to now I'm not hungry.
Starting point is 00:36:28 No, you weren't. Hey, Raven Belly, some of us can finish sandwiches, okay? You go, okay, semi-truck gut. All right? Listen, bubba, you were full. That's why you had to go, shit. You literally clenched your colon, finished meal, wiped hands in front of people, dingleberry fingernails, you chewed on them.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Okay, now I'm chewing on my nails? You were like, oh, that's the corn from before the flight. You just ruined that. You just soiled this moment for us. The corn before the flight. I should bonk your nugget with this dense cane. Oh, my mom was in complete disgust when you spit
Starting point is 00:37:09 last week. When you said, I think Lisa's starting to dislike me. She was like, why'd that boy spit? Why did I make her sound like a southern gal from like Augusta? Why'd that boy spit? I think your mom's starting to dislike me. She loves you more than you know. I love Lisa. That's why you're invited to Sunday your mom's starting to dislike me. She loves you more than you know. I love Felisa.
Starting point is 00:37:28 That's why you're invited to Sunday's family dinner. Thanks to Kennedy's. So I can eat. You're invited every single day. You just don't translate. Yeah, hey, maybe I'll put that on a story. Maybe I'll put that on a story. What? How little you eat.
Starting point is 00:37:38 I do eat little. It's bullshit. It's the anxiety. Eating around foreigners. I can't. They're all family and friends. I know, but I just now got to the point of being comfortable eating around y'all foreigners. I can't. They're all family and friends. I know, but I just now got to the point of being comfortable eating around y'all. I just can't.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Like, my mouth doesn't open that wide in front of strangers. I don't, whatever. And, and, there's a part of this show, because I say a joke about you during this show. I looked at your mom. She did not like that joke. I'm sorry. I mean, my mom, if y'all don't know some anybody that's been to either of the live shows my mom's been present uh you've you've met her she said she took some pictures with some of y'all that's crazy yeah literally lives mom your mom's taking my mother is um oh saint theresa like she literally
Starting point is 00:38:23 i could sell poop popsicles. My mom would buy 12 packs. She'd be like, you got more in the inventory? I can help with marketing. She'll do any and everything for any of us in here. So shout out to you. You're an amazing mother. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:38:37 But she didn't like that joke. She was sitting there. She said, it's not true. There's 400 people crying laughter. She's like, I love Lisa. And sorry to all the fans that are disappointed that my family wasn't at this show. They're going to be at LA. So all the LA fans, you're going to get Mama Harden and Papa Harden.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Hey-o. All of them. No ramps for your dad. No ramps, no drinks for my dad. I'm literally going to cut him. It's like he falls completely. You see him hit his knee, but then he just gets up my shoulder oh koala club got to see my family this weekend for a live stream and malcolm but
Starting point is 00:39:09 one of the things about uh my dad like he's always like that dad in sports he's great both my parents were very supportive in my upbringing in sports and they're at every game and shit like you know one thing about my like he's still in sports mode when it comes to like these events and so like he's like oh yeah competitive like so i remember at the dallas show but whenever the crowd is filing in i looked through the curtain my dad was standing up literally look back to the stage he was in his seat but back to the stage and he was literally going to just like eye in the competition he's sitting there you see he starts slipping punches. He's like. He's pocket watching too.
Starting point is 00:39:47 He's like that many people. What? Preston. Preston killing a Coors Light. A tall boy Coors Light. My family is sick. Where do you think I'm going to get it? No, no, no. 24 ounce canned Coors Light is sick work.
Starting point is 00:39:58 And I'm not going to lie. And my mom, God bless her soul. She's so supportive. She acts like. She liked to act like. I didn't want no one to know. Like I was your mom. And she would literally. She's just proud. And she would be like. She'd be like. That's so supportive. She acts like, she liked to act like, I didn't want no one to know that I was your mom. And she would literally,
Starting point is 00:40:06 she's just proud. And she would be like, that's my baby. The whole fucking show. She's like, yeah, baby, I got you baby boy.
Starting point is 00:40:13 The whole show. She's like, I'm on my heart. And he's like, oh, which is great. It's fine. Wait,
Starting point is 00:40:19 so they are coming to LA? Yeah. That'd be sick. Yeah. Can't wait to hang out again. You know who my mom really wants to meet? Who? I guess we can say it. Leo Skeppy. Oh, yeah. She's really excited to be with Yeah. That'd be sick. Can't wait to hang out again. You know who my mom really wants to meet? Who? I guess we can say it.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Leo Skeppy. She's really excited to meet Leo. We just gotta make him meet her. Or make her meet him. One thing also, oh, I love this.
Starting point is 00:40:34 We're getting into the Cam Sucks podcast. Oh, we're in the Cam Sucks era. It's been a lonely year of Peyton's growth, so I guess I can take a weekend.
Starting point is 00:40:44 I went to your house, right? I spent the night at your house. This is true. It was a fun time. What was wrong? The way you control your household is in shame behavior. How? You had a fantastic time.
Starting point is 00:40:56 You loved every bit, and you snuggled with Ruby. I woke up in the morning, right? To snuggles from Ruby. Right in my crotch. That's where she likes it. That sounds weird, but she sleeps in the crotch. She's a crotch dweller. And so that's me
Starting point is 00:41:06 because it smells and she's like, ooh, septic tank. I like this. She's like, ooh, it reminds me of the natural outside. Reminds me of where
Starting point is 00:41:14 I was born on the side of the road. God bless Ruby. She's such a cute creature. I woke up in the morning and as most people do in the morning, I want breakfast.
Starting point is 00:41:24 I'm hungry. Oh my God. I go, I want breakfast. I'm hungry. I go, Cam, Cam, I'm hungry. I said, Cam, I'm hungry. You got any breakfast for me? I said, there's waffles in the freezer. Okay, there we go, and we'll go right there. Cam offers me waffles.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Waffles were stored in the freezer. What do you have to do to make waffles? Put them in a toaster. Okay. I grab the waffles. I'm going to Cam's kitchen. I'm looking. I'm surveilling the counter, right?
Starting point is 00:41:54 I see an oven. I see coffee creamer somewhere. Cutting board. Where the fuck's the toaster? Where's the fucking toaster, Cam? I go, cameron how do you want me to make these waffles y'all don't own a toaster cam what did you say to me i'm never gonna live this down it's not even that weird no it's strange how you behave it's not that weird where was the toaster i said oh no no you're stupid. The toaster's underneath the cabinet in the back. How?
Starting point is 00:42:30 How do you have waffles readily available that you offered me, but your toaster's in storage? Who stores their toaster? And then tell them the explanation you gave me when you said that your toaster was in a storage closet. I have a wife. Okay? I don't know if it's this new age thing,
Starting point is 00:42:54 these trendy things. Apparently, countertops supposed to be... There we go with that movie. Spick and span. Nothing on them. Be careful. Clean. Boneless.
Starting point is 00:43:04 I don't know. I come from a household and a manhood of toaster on counter because it's where it belongs she is like counter needs to be spotless put the toaster underneath behind the instapot tuck it away i go i like toasting things she goes get used to it so happy wife a toaster is something you need every day almost more than likely most most days i find myself bending over grabbing that toaster plugging it in using it putting it back hello how do you offer me something and then the toasters do you not understand that it took you all of 10 seconds 10 seconds to get the no no it didn't it caused back pain you know i have a very frail back you have a very round back very there's something protruding that image in new york something is popping out of your
Starting point is 00:43:58 you have you have like it's like a damn Godzilla. I was in a bag race for three years. They called me Turtle Boy. I walked around campus like this. Do I think a toaster should be on the counter? Yes. Does it have to? No. It's just extra steps for no reason. I agree, but.
Starting point is 00:44:17 I shouldn't cut the back of my hand trying to get a breakfast. That's true. But it is what it is. Happy wife, happy life. The toaster's underneath the cabinet. I don't know what to say. Oh, another thing. Oh, yes. is what it is. Happy wife, happy life. The toaster's underneath the cabinet. I don't know what to say. Oh, another thing. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:44:27 I finally feel like... What the hell is going to be the title of this episode? Cam sucks. Yeah. Episode 85, Cam sucks. Speaking of boneless, because you said the counter should be boneless, Cam doesn't understand the sanctity of wings. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:44:43 We go to a wing spot, right? What are you supposed to eat at a wing stop say it's wings hello i say can i get canned lemon pepper dry please because i'm a normal person cam goes can i get the buffalo boneless wings i almost called the fbi I said, hey, bud, that's a chicken nugget. It's a good wing. Good wing. Boneless wings are chicken nuggets. Wings with bones are 40% bone, 15% gristle, 45% meat. I don't have time to do a damn mystery puzzle with my tongue to get meat.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Sorry you don't have a talented tongue like me. Oh, yeah. Sorry I don't have a tarmac of a tongue like you too. Wide ass tongue. You have a Hoover Dam tongue. Your tongue disgusts me. You have the tongue of a cobra. And it splits.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Oh, it does not split. You know you can cut your tongue and it'll grow back? I don't want to know that. Anyway. Cam, that's a boneless wing is not a wing. Yes it is. It's still a wing. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Okay, then what's the difference between a boneless wing and a chicken nugget? Tell me. One's a wing. One's a nugget. Why? Because one's called a nugget. Hey. Asshole.
Starting point is 00:45:56 One's a nugget. Okay. Super close cousins. Maybe even twins. They're definitely fraternal. They're not identical. But, okay, if I know the wing spot and they hold dear to me, I can get flats.
Starting point is 00:46:08 I'm a flats guy. You've seen me devour flats. I honestly haven't. I devour flats. If I'm going, if I'm going, if I'm going. Oh, don't you dare. You do. Oh, I've been raised.
Starting point is 00:46:18 I have been raised. I know how to eat wings. My friends and family have taught me. A good flat, very lovable. However, new spot, I don't know what they do. I don't know how you do your rub. I don't know anything. Give me boneless so I can just taste it for the pure flavor.
Starting point is 00:46:34 And is that a crime? And, Cam, I don't know if you were raised by the Queen of England. Cam doesn't just eat his chicken nuggets from a wing spot, his boneless wings, chicken nuggets. He doesn't just eat them chicken nuggets from a wing spot, his boneless wings, chicken nuggets. He doesn't just eat them with his hands. Fork and knife. If they're boneless, why the hell should I pick it up? If I'm not going to stab a bone, if I'm not going to stab, if I'm not going to get off your tippy toe, Michael Jackson, if I'm not going to stab a femur, why should I pick it up?
Starting point is 00:47:07 Hey, Princess Diana, grow some nuts, dog. What is scared me what is this some nuts oh sorry you're nuts grab your nuts dog grab them two little grapes dog hold the raisins hey you are you're sick it is eating you alive. Oh my God. Hey, guess what? There's no bone. I can stab with a fork. I can eat it. I can taste the sauce. Do you understand why people don't have a good time around you now? Do you understand why people resent time with you? Huh?
Starting point is 00:47:34 You get that, salsa boy? Huh? Okay, that's another thing. I like chips and salsa. Just because I ask for my own cup of salsa when we go to restaurants, why is that an offense? Why does that piss you off so much? Because you're a cheap son of a bitch,
Starting point is 00:47:47 and you still want to split the bill after and divvy up the salsa. Uh-uh, you're in response for 85% of the salsa that was consumed on this table. That's your salsa. Hey, numbskull, empty brain boy. The purchase is a one-time purchase. They don't refill your salsa in, oh, that's another 50 cents. That's another 50 cents. The chips is in the salsa.
Starting point is 00:48:07 It's not the salsa, dumbass. It's called bottomless chips and salsa, you ignorant bastard. From certain places, you do it everywhere, dumbass. Name two restaurants that charge for refills. Name two. Get it out, tongue boy. Name two. Oh, you want tongue boy.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Name two restaurants that charge for refills. I don't know. I don't know. Because I don't ever have to ask for that. Because one is enough for me. It's an appetizer. That's right. Because you eat like a small guinea pig.
Starting point is 00:48:34 You eat like Shrek, donkey boy. You eat like a piglet. A brand new born pig that winks still. And has cute little hooves that resemble boots. Really? Yeah. You eat like a farm animal. You eat slop.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Olivia, Google top five smallest stomachs. That's what you are. It's on my favorite birthday page. Oh my Jesus Christ. What? You just laughed. There was a waterfall of saliva in your mouth. It literally looked like Charlotte's Web.
Starting point is 00:49:01 It was a spider web of spit in your mouth. Oh my God. That might have been part loogie. It was so thick. One thing about me. No, no, no. You need to spit or swallow. My mouth has been getting real wet recently. But it's almost phlegmy. That's like a condition. You just said you get film on your teeth from two hours of
Starting point is 00:49:17 just living. Like, how does that happen? What are you doing? I didn't brush my teeth when I went back home. I forgot my toothbrush. My teeth have been hurting. She's like, I can't find it did you just say uh-huh you were in austin yeah for like three days for 72 hours yeah you didn't brush your teeth i couldn't your shit i't, is like this. Golden, flimmy, engravements on it. Yeah, I realized there was a problem on the last day when I woke up in the morning and I looked in the mirror and it was like orange.
Starting point is 00:49:55 It's like in my gum. No, we need a dentist sponsor. We need a dentist sponsor. You need free work. You need free work. God knows you will not go out of your way to fix your teeth. You need a better grill. I'm getting veneers.
Starting point is 00:50:13 Everyone that just heard that comment, tell them how stupid he is. And I don't have to brush my teeth after that. Kid has a good grill. He's just lazy. I'm not lazy. At certain things, you are quite lazy. We all are. At what?
Starting point is 00:50:24 Hygiene. Probably the most important thing to not be lazy. No, I got a lot of compliments in New York about how I smelled. As a single man you own 17 different colored towels. First off, that's impressive. I've never seen such a strange and unique assortment of towel colors. I've never seen it. First off, they all hurt my skin when I use them. They are all very
Starting point is 00:50:45 sharp very sharp towels and every single i swear to god every single one of them is a different color how do i go to your apartment and ask to bathe and you don't have a single a damn clean towel a single towel out of you have two rainbows full of towels different colors unbelievable like you have palette color towels that are sharp as shit and hurt my skin. And you don't have a single one clean. And you don't think you're lazy at hygiene. That's because I don't reuse towels. How about this?
Starting point is 00:51:14 When you shit, you use Febreze, right? When I go to your bathroom... I want you to lie on this camera right now and say you don't use Febreze in your shit. I don't spray my own apartment. Without my ass. There's not don't use Febreze in your shit. I don't spray my own apartment. Without my ass. There's not three cans of Febreze anytime I walk into your bathroom. And more than likely, two of them are completely empty. Throw them away?
Starting point is 00:51:35 You weird ass. I have a hard time. Throw them away? You have a hard time? You just dig your ass. What are you doing? You're getting nervous. Your teeth are starting to film.
Starting point is 00:51:42 Your body's starting to sway. Your ass is starting to itch. It's that damn tail. Oh, that's criminal. You hooked the tail onto the mic cord. What is wrong with you? You're playing with it. You're looking at me.
Starting point is 00:51:52 This needs to end. You need to take a break. Get away from me. Get away from me. You need to take a break. I don't know why all my towels are so different. And they're so, fuck, they're so sharp. Your towels hurt me.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Like it opens sores and wounds. Maybe, honest to God, maybe that's why you stink. It literally, you're crying. It scrapes all the soap, everything off. It's all I was raised for. Like a normal towel is this. His towel's like It's like sandpaper.
Starting point is 00:52:20 I guess. Oh, we want to talk about towels. I can get into the Kennedy towels. What? It's just got brown stains on them. That would be that woman about towels. I can get into the Kennedy towels. What? Bitches got brown stains on them. That would be that woman right there. It's not poop. It's her makeup. Okay, weird thing.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Okay, before I dated Olivia, I was a first... You are digging? You are digging in your sphincter. You're digging in your ass. What is that? that that a startup bike i can see your neck veins calm down i don't what oh because you've seen me literally digging my ass with a brand new white towel because of her and her makeup. I said the same thing. She tried to... No.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Yes. You wipe your ass. And fold it. What? I wipe my ass and fold it like a vampire is what you said. You wipe your ass. Untuck yourself. You're like this with white towels she makes us buy white towels did you roll them and put them there for this
Starting point is 00:53:37 she okay that's what i was saying before olivia i was never i never had a white towel i just i think that's a danger. Do you bleed after you shower? Sharp ass towels. My butt bleeds. Matter of fact, what do you use in the shower to clean yourself? Soap.
Starting point is 00:53:56 And? Water. And? A washcloth. Okay. You passed. You don't use the fucking washcloth. I use the microfiber thing.
Starting point is 00:54:03 I use the thing from Manscaped. Shout out to Manscaped. Shout out Manscaped. Microfiber doesn't hold bacteria. Can't grow there. It's Gucci. You're a nasty boy. Before then, I'm not going to lie though.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Before then, I used a loofah. And I thought that was... That was disgusting. I didn't even realize. Yeah. That's very bad game. I used to date... If you have a loofah, throw it away right now.
Starting point is 00:54:19 When I dated a girl, when I go to her apartment, I would use her loofah. I didn't realize... That's like a different level of gross. Using someone else's loofah. Her dead skin and her DNA is. Oh my god. Wait you used her loofah? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:33 I loved her. Did she say that in like. What was that? Okay normally we don't start like this. Yo you're nasty so you know what I'm talking about. There was extra in the brim I had to get it. I literally went like this. you're nasty so you know what i'm talking about there was extra in the brim i had yo i literally went like this i went cam went yo you that's nasty bro i'm telling you you're nasty there was excess in the brim relax
Starting point is 00:54:57 no i did not you do do that bro you to the gym. You literally are making this up. Get on the mic. I am on my mic. Idiot. I rocked the mic. And she rocked my mic in the park. No, Cam will go to the gym, full sweat session, go to the sauna, even wetter. Wear that same outfit for six hours straight.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Doesn't unlace his boots. Nastiest human I've ever seen in my life. If I have to work on something first, I got if i take a shower get too comfortable adhd kicks in all you smell like a german shepherd that's been herding cattle for four hours okay at least i did something productive to elicit that stench you wake up and smell horrid how do you know what i i smell like fresh off the wake up you stay the night At my house You wake up Hey waffles You got Cam you got
Starting point is 00:55:46 It's just like If it was a cartoon It'd be like Green fog It would be That's crazy Because every time I spend the night
Starting point is 00:55:52 At your house The first thing you do Is wake me up If Ruby doesn't stay with me You throw her on me And then you sit by me Yeah If I sink that bad
Starting point is 00:56:01 So you're gonna make You literally sit by me So you're gonna make Shut the fuck You're gonna make fun of me Because I enjoy our friendship Yeah, if I sink that bad You're gonna make fun of me because I enjoy our friendship you literally sit by me you're like payda Oh, I say payda you're like this no wait girlfriend. Let me wake up real quick. Let me get my bonnet off I don't brush my teeth. I don't brush my teeth. Yeah, I know George Washington Carver I don't like brushing my teeth and other people's teeth, so what if I bleed in the sink? Doc, if you're bleeding from bristle, you need help. You need... Tuck your foot.
Starting point is 00:56:31 You need assistance. No, it's too far gone, bro. Toothbrush company, just contact us. Contact her. No, that would be good. Yeah, hit HBIC up. That would be great to have a...
Starting point is 00:56:41 Bro, your ass is built weird. No, but like this, it's built like a P. Hey, that's going to be on the internet forever. I just want you to know, your kids are going to be in elementary school. No, that's a bit much. Your kids are going to be in elementary school in the lunchroom
Starting point is 00:57:07 and be like, is this your dad? It's going to be a hard time for them. I'm going to go. Hey, no, that shit was moving a little bit. That was a little too much.
Starting point is 00:57:16 I've never done some shit like that. I'm not going to lie. You always hit them with the... No, I'm good. I'm good at this. You have like a coil array build. Like, you have a small... Like, I'm Houston Hottie herself have like a coil array build. Like you have a small build.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I am Houston Hottie herself. Make this down. Talk to me. Damn, boy. I was eating them buttermilk biscuits. Cam's built like Yes Jewels. It's a compliment. I understand, Drake.
Starting point is 00:57:44 I understand. We're not going to talk about that. No. Should understand, Drake. I understand. We're not going to talk about that. No, no. Should I cut that out? Yes. It's a fact. Everybody knows that. It's a fact.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Everybody knows that. She hates hearing that. It makes her cry. He's a loyal man. He's a great... We love his kids. They watch the podcast, I think. I don't think he's ever cheated. Me neither.
Starting point is 00:58:03 You're like, what does that say? One tile, two tiles. No, no, he doesn't. But, oh, one thing about me is I've been snacking a lot. I snack. I'm a snacker. Yeah. Be careful.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Don't say it. I love my snack. You don't like full course meals. It scares you, makes you sweat. You take three bites and you're overwhelmed. Sorry I don't eat like a hippopotamus. You're a good cheez-it, beef jerky type of gal. You eat like a bear that's been in hibern in your overwhelm. Sorry. I don't eat like your good cheese it beef jerky type Okay, like a bear that's been in hibernation for nine years. Okay you
Starting point is 00:58:34 No, I do need to cut down my rations I think I'm gonna go on a winter bulk eat more and then around February we're going to cut I want to see how much you eat on a bowl. Dude, it'd be bad. And why do you eat so fast? I do eat fast. I think that's school. School indoctrinated me to, like, I only have 20 minutes to eat. Or did, like, your parents, like, did they? No, my dad made me clean my plate.
Starting point is 00:58:54 There was a couple arguments when I was young. This is how you were fed. I was like, Papa, I'm full! He was like, eat your damn plate, boy! This is how your parents fed you? They, like, put everybody in one room and they threw all the food on the floor. And you had to... That's what I do. That's how you eat the way you do.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Dude, that one fascinating video of the monkeys. I can't say shit. That one video of the monkeys. It was like hundreds of them. I don't know if it was a zoo or just wild. They literally dropped like two coolers of bananas. What are you doing? I'm thinking that the DM you sent me.
Starting point is 00:59:29 I was on my phone, like laying in my bed. Wait, which one? And I got a notification. The dad from That's A Raven? It said, CamKindy22 sent you a post by monkey or something. And I said, what, dog? Don't touch me. I said, hold on, dog.
Starting point is 00:59:42 It was Tuesday morning. Y'all are taking this out of context. Why are there so many monkeys on my timeline? Don't touch me. I said, hold on, dog. It's Tuesday morning. He said big monkey shit, too. Y'all are taking this out of... Why are there so many monkeys on my timeline, though? You said Ryan, though? Yeah, I do. No, dude, the other day... We ate something the other day. I literally pissed.
Starting point is 00:59:55 It smelled like blood. It absolutely smelled like copper. It was bad, bro. I had to check. Yeah. No, I had to examine myself Sometimes my piss smells like Thanksgiving. Okay, like fucking asparagus tea is a real thing. Oh my god Thanksgiving food Okay, anyway, can we talk we were talking about food? I was talking about apes. Of course you were. I'm talking about snacks
Starting point is 01:00:17 Just hold on the monkey there was like a hundred monkeys. They threw two coolers of bananas It was like just like you said what? They threw two coolers of bananas, but every just like you said what bro they threw two coolers of bananas but every monkey surprisingly only took what they needed every single monkey took one banana ran away you would not be a good monkey there was i'd be a horrible monkey but uh i'm so scared feel the nightmares already hey crazy legs calm down dude no I want y'all someone you know the compilation John make somebody make one of his fucking legs
Starting point is 01:00:50 willoughby jones every he's like this sometimes he's like he's doing this shit sometimes like that's a crazy shot my manhood was covered anyway. It's easy to hide that Get him Anyway snack ass go back Ravenclaw All right, Gryffindor. All right, Hufflepuff. All right, Venom. Venom. Venom.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Adrenalin. Venom. Venom. Don't know it. Venom. Venom. I snack a lot. You do snack a lot.
Starting point is 01:01:40 Again, there's a crumb on my lip. It tastes good. It's probably goldfish. Everybody relax. This is so loose. my mic is so loose oh my god no you need to brush you need to brush your teeth oh my god almighty gingivitis or dude no you literally look at me no you don't i haven't been to the dentist i wouldn't know i don't know yeah why are you afraid back to snacks?
Starting point is 01:02:05 No, I've had a dentist girl talk to me one time. She goes. It's a really real thing People having anxiety to Dennis. No, I mean no that's definitely a real thing It's hard when you're looking at bright lights and all I hear is Yeah, it's the water and the sucker that always ever probably that it's a weird thing. I like I'm just like I Always bite it and I stopped you It's a weird thing. I like I'm just like I always bite in except you Like sure it's gonna be two grand chew one more times $2,000 Luller I'm like Cuz that's my anxious bites don't with the inside of my cheek. Yeah, dude when you bled an academy that shit
Starting point is 01:02:43 I just sprinted ice sprinted through i found the video on the studio phone of the night of the tesla really it's like 30 seconds i'll put that in patreon just okay it's it's funny um anyway i'm a snacker damn it one thing i've realized i don't know why i start everything with one day i realized it's because because there's my everything is new to me it's because to me. It's because you're alone. It's because you're alone. So much realization is in my daily life. It's good, though, for mental health. Well, not mine.
Starting point is 01:03:10 But it's good for strength. I'm so alone and wet and hot. I turned on my heater. My fire alarm went off. I have to move. You just suck. All right. Damn it. You snack. God, we're getting into the zoomies. Oh, I just had a hard time breathing. I need to shave my chest. Show me your chest. You can demonetize. Oh, God. Oh, God. All right.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I'm a snacker. Yes. I think a sweet and salty snack, a sweet and salty combo is the worst combo of all time. Oh, you bastard. You, the worst? The worst combo ever. Sweet and salty? I literally was about to, I was about to get out of my seat to hug you. Not like that. You said Sweet and Salty sucks. You are on level zero of creativity.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Why? Sweet and Salty is one of the greatest things ever. like how can we harm earth and they said sweet and salty and you have the nastiest combo of sweet and salty i've ever seen in my life i almost struck you i almost hit you in public in front of in front of colleagues i almost just backhanded you right now for saying that of course you did sweet and salty you think sweet and so anytime sweet and salty not only is an alliteration not only is it just fascinating to hear it is it simply not and sweet and is an alliteration, not only is it just fascinating to hear. It's not an alliteration? Simply not. And ruins the alliteration. Still S&S.
Starting point is 01:04:50 No. Two out of three words is S. Sweet and salty. It's not an alliteration though. You're not an alliteration. I was good at English. I bet you were, professor. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:04:56 18 degrees. Didn't learn that. Anyway. Sweet and salty, it is phenomenal. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it is not. This is the thing.
Starting point is 01:05:06 I've never had a peanut M&M. Never. And I never will have it. Anytime someone offers that to me, I'm like, immediately, you're an enemy. I don't like that. Peanut M&Ms are dingleberries from the Lord himself. See, dingleberries, that's shit crust. Peanut M&Ms are, they are an art.
Starting point is 01:05:23 And I'm going to expose you for your sweet and salty combo Halloween was just happening right what's going around the market during Halloween the devil's candy candy corn this man cam had a bowl in his house of candy corn I said hopefully that's decoration if not I hate him right next to it bowl of pretzels I said that's not normally what you see every day I kid you not cam with his paw grabs a handful of candy corn and I said that's aggressive and strange what are you going to do with that hopefully throw it away nope other hand double fisting pretzels this man grabs it together hits one of these popping pretzel and candy corn together i swear to god my knees went faint i buckled when i saw them i said oh you're buckled
Starting point is 01:06:17 probably because you're hungry you haven't eaten in two days don't knock it hey you're this you're the same creature that puts salt and pepper on fruit you're the on a banana you're the same creature that puts salt and pepper on fruit. On a banana. You're the reason... On a monkey stick. Be careful. You're the reason CIA hacks into laptops. Absolutely not.
Starting point is 01:06:35 Your search history is on a database now because you did that. You are a disgusting, feral human. 90 out of 100 Americans are going to agree sweet and salty is fantastic. You are one of is fantastic. Hey. You are one of the 10. Hey, you took literally the devil's corn, right, and put it with a savory snack as a pretzel, rattled it around like you're eating cashews.
Starting point is 01:06:59 You were looking for a snake eye. 7 or 11. You were looking for a snake eye with candy corn and popping it like cementos. Cam, I almost put you in a half Nelson. I would have got out. Very true. I would have got out of that so easy. Do you realize how nasty you are?
Starting point is 01:07:14 Okay, first off. How do you figure that out? Let's break this down. This woman's mother, okay? Lolly, Chrissy P, whatever you want to call her, lives with her. Your wife's mother. My wife's mother. I saw her one day do it.
Starting point is 01:07:23 She demanded me to try out of respect. I said but she did it with peanuts okay peanuts fantastic but we had pretzels in the house this one is a fan of bowls and shit decor the holiday there's random shit on our counters i'm like i'm never gonna eat that this time i'm hungry you know me i eat a lot so i did it candy corn pretzels a little jingle shake down the hatch. Let's break down your resume real quick. You eat candy corn by the handful. First of all, under the prison is where you belong. Second of all, you eat parking lot sandwiches. Sandwiches. Oh, baby. Oh, baby.
Starting point is 01:08:19 Oh, my God. Our fucking carpet stinks. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Our fucking carpet stinks. Our carpet smells so bad on your side. Oh my god. I've never gotten off the ground that quick. Lay down and sniff under your... It is horrid. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:08:42 That's what my bedroom feels like. You want to talk about parking lot meat? That is a... Dude. Oh my god. You want to talk about parking lot meat? That is that is a dude Oh my god under you under your side of the couch that smells awful You eat parking lot sandwiches, that's gross what happened to me oh my god and use five in one shampoo you you my you my friend are on a most wanted list somewhere i don't oh god you're not allowed in some countries i don't the five one shampoo that is a bullshit that is that was a one-time use i don't know what the fifth thing is i don't. The 5-in-1 shampoo, that is a bullshit. That was a one-time use. I don't know what the fifth thing is.
Starting point is 01:09:27 I don't know what else could possibly be in there. Is it mouthwash? I don't know what's in there. Like, what the hell makes five? Conditioner, shampoo, body, what the hell? Matter of fact, what is four? Condition, condition, face wash? Face is a part of my body.
Starting point is 01:09:43 That's how I know you're gross. That's how I know you're gross. Body wash is the same as face wash? I is a part of my body. No, it's not. That's how I know you're gross! That's how I know you're gross! Body wash is the same as face wash? I didn't say that. That's exactly what you said, you nasty bitch! That was a part of the joke in the scheme, dumbass! That wasn't a part of the joke. You made that. Hey, Cheech and Chong!
Starting point is 01:09:55 Hey, Dumb and Dumber! Whoa, be careful. You don't even know what that is. Isn't that a guy who smokes weed? A lot. A lot of it. A lot of it. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:10:03 Oh, he's a fan of my brother's podcast. That's interesting. That's interesting. That's cool. Crazy. That's a crazy statistic. That's a cool milestone. That's a cool accolade. Our carpet reeks, dog.
Starting point is 01:10:15 That was frightening how bad that smelled. But no, I don't know what. Okay, fourth is face wash. Obviously, I know they're different. I have a PM and an AM face wash. Don't play me. You know that. I don't know what the fifth is. I don't know what the fifth is.
Starting point is 01:10:25 I don't know what the fifth is. Is it ear cleaner? What is the fifth? It's definitely like... Toenail shiner? That's what you clean your tires with. It's like, go outside. Tire disinfectant.
Starting point is 01:10:33 No, no. That was a one-time thing. Now, parking lot sandwiches and candy corn and pretzels, I will die on that hill. I'll die on that hill. That's disgusting. I am absolutely wet right now. Can't you shit in the middle of your feet?
Starting point is 01:10:44 I am absolutely wet right now can't you shit in the middle of your your feet i am absolutely wet right now i am i am sweating oh bad you we brought you brought up full nelson's right how you can get out of them you brought up full nelson i said i could get out of yours because it wouldn't pose much of a threat sorry but but it had me thinking right it had me thinking i think we would be a good tag team against a gorilla. Okay, bro. No, someone needs to diagnose you. What is your obsession with gorillas? Because they're fascinating creatures.
Starting point is 01:11:11 And they're so much better than us. Why? What is your fascination with gorillas? They're fascinating creatures. We have had seven debates about primates and apes. I don't know what, like... They're a fascinating creature. And they would best us easily.
Starting point is 01:11:23 See, you don't have any confidence in us as a group and as a relationship. Okay, you're talking about full Nelson from two untrained guys versus a gorilla. No, it's strategy. It's strategy. Yeah. All right, Julius Caesar. All right, Steve Kerr. Break this down for me, Pop.
Starting point is 01:11:41 Break this down, Popovich. How would you and me better an ape? How would we beat him? I don't know, because you're the size of the big me, Pop. Break this down, Popovich. How would you and me better an ape? How would we beat him? I don't know. Because you're the size of the big show, maybe. You got the same jaw. What? He's going to beat our ass.
Starting point is 01:11:55 No. No. Look. Say we went into an recapture with a gorilla, right? And it was only one gorilla, two of us. One and two. Me and you. Us and them.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Strategy. I take the legs. take the leg yes I have a good ground game good ground yes you know you don't yes I do what are you trained in let me put your feet down put your feet down okay gorilla would go like this. No. Snap your neck. And that's where Taylor comes in. I'm supposed to have the arm. You jump. So what?
Starting point is 01:12:30 I jump. On him. I jump on the gorilla. He's like, oh, big skinny man on feet. So he's speaking English. Okay. They can. You seen a monkey do a puzzle before?
Starting point is 01:12:40 Read a book. Watch Animal Planet. I bit my tongue. It's so much real estate. I'm telling you to bite. Okay. Let's break this down. They can't speak English.
Starting point is 01:12:48 They can do puzzles. You've never watched Planet of the Apes? Okay. Planet of the Apes is a... It is a movie. Documentary. It is a... Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:04 Sorry. Don't clip that. We would die. No. We would die. Yes, we would die. No, listen. Okay, think positively.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Bro, you're thinking like a fourth grader. Okay, if one of us- You grab the legs, I'll get the arms. What are we going to do? Whisper him to sleep? No, I get the legs, you get the arms. Exactly. What the hell?
Starting point is 01:13:22 What's after that? You grab the neck. So I let go of the arm. that you grab the neck so i let go of the arm you get it when i let go when i get his back yes like i'm just gonna get him to the ground put him in a headlock bro apes are tickling you have a best friend ape you have an ape best friend what's his name what's his name what's his name congo what's his name no let's diagnose oh really i don't know sally mcsue that's down the street, but I know if I kick her in the knee, it will break. You said that Sally McSue was ticklish.
Starting point is 01:13:49 You know nothing about this gorilla. Everybody's ticklish, dumbass. Everybody, meaning humans. I've seen an ape smoke a cig and take a selfie, dog, and you tell me that they're not ticklish in the pit area. Okay, I've seen a monkey bang a cymbal and top hat yeah that doesn't mean anything there are acrobatic creatures are in a circus act main attraction headlining you don't know if they're ticklish are you ticklish no give me your pit you're not ticklish god there's so much hip
Starting point is 01:14:22 you tightened i I felt you. You need to go to hell. You need to go to hell. You belong there. Oh, my God. Bro, we're not doing shit against an ape. Why? Okay, let's change the circumstances.
Starting point is 01:14:34 I love your confidence. Let's change the circumstances. Do we have guns? No, we have bow and arrow. One of us has a sword. Compound bow. One of us has a sword. We have a sword.
Starting point is 01:14:41 One of us has a sword. Now we're talking. Okay, I take the legs. What now? Bro, you think you're going take it it's legs yeah you're acting like you're brock lesnar have you ever tried to walk in somebody twist your big toe that shit hurts have you ever tried to even take a human's leg let alone a monkey an ape i'm saying gorilla if i can get it you don't even know how to shoot you've never wrestled you've never wrestled you don't know Matt work
Starting point is 01:15:05 You don't know how to build a WWE ring when I was a kid I will build a double out of a trampoline action figures in your creepy imagination I bet you I bet I bet you're the type of guy that took the marker and drew red on him Well hit him in the face now. He's bleeding you drew on you know I put ketchup on myself I put ketchup right here And on my mouth sometimes So you were fighting with the action figures Yeah You are a freak
Starting point is 01:15:28 I would spit it out I would like have him hit me I'd go Like ketchup blood You'd have a 7 inch figurine Punch Hit you with the right hook No
Starting point is 01:15:35 You'd spit and put You would put condiment on your forehead I had a life size gorilla stuffed animal I wanted six flags I'd fight that guy His name was Konga Am I a prophet? I literally said what's his name congo oh really your guy's name was conga yeah and he was good that explains the fascination
Starting point is 01:15:53 he was a world heavyweight champion i bet he was you little freak i bet he was vince mcmahon you probably gave him the easy matchups huh we're not beating a gorilla that's if we both have swords and no just you have a sword okay actually i have the sword oh god no we've lost we've lost oh god no i only trust myself with that you you with the sword no you'd fuck you'd cut me somehow you'd be like get back and you're just decapitate me and then you're just sitting there one-on-one you go i think i think you would hold us back as a team. You think? Because you have so much fear. I don't.
Starting point is 01:16:28 Fear is good. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it is not. You would literally go, ah! Like, you'd go, charge! And you'd be running at this gorilla. Ah!
Starting point is 01:16:40 And he would literally go, pfft! And he would kick you right in the face. You drop the sword, and you're like, ah! And then he literally go. And he would kick you right in the face. You drop the sword and you're like. And then he walks up. You know what you would do? You know what you would do? You know what you would do? I'd go.
Starting point is 01:16:56 I'd wait for the right time. Jab. No, jab. You would size up the ape. You would size him up. You try to make one plant, your hip is done. Now you're a liability to the team. Stint.
Starting point is 01:17:06 When you're on the ground. No, shut up. When you're on the ground holding your hip in pain because you're not built good, you would try to reason with him because you talk too damn much. You would be like, ape, ape, please, please. I have six degrees. Like, that means something. I was six when I got LASIK and I have asthma.
Starting point is 01:17:22 Please. Please. You know what he would do though he would look at me right he would laugh at me because he's about to kill me right then he would take a drink ask me what he's drinking the blood from your skull he already has your brain in his head no i know he does slurps a little he gets a little brain matter right looks at me and goes you see your stupid skinny friend that's when he can't talk that's when he starts speaking that's when he starts speaking you see your stupid skinny friend? That's when he starts speaking. That's when he starts speaking.
Starting point is 01:17:45 You see your stupid little skinny friend? He tried to shoot on me like this was UFC. Like this was jiu-jitsu. Okay, he can't. I'm stronger and better. Here's his head. Then he looks at me, takes the sword, barely cuts himself to give me a small amount of gratitude,
Starting point is 01:18:01 throws the, matter of fact, impales me with the sword, snaps my head off and now we're both dead you know what they would do actually they would try to get you first they would try to kill you for parts yeah no they would try to kill me because i'm the alpha and i'm the only i'm the only thing they can protect no it's because you're built like a cartoon character and they would do it i'm built like a cartoon they would literally take your head off they would want that big ass skull and they'd use it as a trophy for next olympics for the next monkey olympics if we were in a cartoon there would literally be a dust bubble around you you'd be walking around
Starting point is 01:18:29 skinny and your ankles every single page would have a little action bubbles by your feet a dust cloud like that guy from uh um uh uh charles charlie what's his charlie brown charlie brown dusty kid that's you you know what they would do they would would take your head, right, and they would be like, we're going to put this on a staff and use this for any visitors to show how cool this guy's head is because it's so damn big. It's like they pumped it up with a basketball thing. And then they would be like, oh, what a chin. And then they would take that and they would use it for like a headstone.
Starting point is 01:19:00 You know, they would use it for Thanksgiving to like cut meat, your chin. And then they would be like, oh, my God, there's so much marrow in his big ass hip. And they would literally eat you for dessert. And then they'd be like, oh my God, that's a toe. And they would put it in the museum of toe. Okay. So for me, they could get use out of me is what I'm hearing. For you, they would annihilate you, right?
Starting point is 01:19:20 They'd go, wow, this thing doesn't have much meat at all on it. It's almost a waste. But it's so long and kind of sharp at the bottom. We could use this as a stick or a shovel. They would use you to shovel our grave. They would at least eat off of me, use my skull as a trophy. I would be remembered in the ape community. You would just be a forgotten past.
Starting point is 01:19:36 They would use you for parts of their mechanics. That's it. They don't care about you. They'd go, oh. They'd be like, oh, one of us. Rotten. Us. Ape don't kill ape. Oh, oh, oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They'd be like, oh, one of us. Rotten us. Ape don't kill ape.
Starting point is 01:19:46 Oh, oh, oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. Enough ape talk. You're going to get me. Enough ape talk. Enough ape talk.
Starting point is 01:19:53 I think it's time for people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture, pay it in camp. Pop culture, pay it in camp. Wow. I got a pop culture. I got one, too. I saw it on Twitter got some mine i don't care okay um it's on twitter um and it kind of scared me okay raymond noodles apparently they're making them microwavable now oh yeah and i was like in the cup ones yeah what the hell were they before? I saw that too. Yeah. Wait, what?
Starting point is 01:20:25 The one cups. The one that had the little... The styrofoam cups? It's like in the styrofoam cups. Exactly. That's what all of Earth thought. And they said, we're making microwavable ramen in the cup.
Starting point is 01:20:36 Now... So I've been eating cancer. Like, that's bad. We're all gonna die young. It's like, how else... Were you supposed to make it over a fire? I think you're supposed to take it out and put it in a pot. Why are you selling it in a cup?
Starting point is 01:20:49 Exactly. It's stupid. No, yeah, we're all going to die soon. My favorite thing to do with ramen, when I run out of chips, I'll have a stack of ramen. You do eat it dry. And I keep it in the package, and I go, break it down. Break it down, put it into a bowl, take the seasoning, pour all the seasoning, shake it up. You're eating chips. It's such a good snack. It's such a good snack it's such a good snack that's just bullshit yeah okay the
Starting point is 01:21:10 chicken raymond uh this is the same topic i've had for about maybe 40 pop cultures uh lebron ramon james so lebron in the fifth game of the season stop it in the fifth game of his 21st season okay scored the most points by any any NBA player in their 21st season. There's only been six to even make it that far. He had a 35 ball. He's the absolute GOAT, okay? There's no denying it. He's probably the greatest athlete that's ever lived.
Starting point is 01:21:34 Like, honest to God, if you think about it. And that's all I really wanted to say. The more this man plays, the more he's just widening the gap, the more y'all get to see. We are truly witnessing history. There's going to be a day where we turn on basketball and he's not playing and it's not going to feel the same just know that wim ben yamening he's a he's a victor is he is leave living up to the hype somebody rachel nichols said he has a higher ceiling than jordan shack and lebron she needs to relax i don't think that's too crazy i think that's very crazy if he. If he can stay healthy. He's going to have a severe injury by year four.
Starting point is 01:22:07 100%. Knock on wood. I don't want him to. I'm just saying. If he doesn't, but that statement is true. No, it's not. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 01:22:14 No, it's not. He had 38 in his second game. That's fine. Third game. Third game. That's insane, Cam. That is insane. No, he's...
Starting point is 01:22:21 I'm not knocking him. I'm saying... He can literally do anything on the basketball court. He's eight foot tall. If he was 6'11", if he was 6'11", I'd be a lot more... I'd be like, holy shit.
Starting point is 01:22:30 The fact he's 7'4", is incredible and amazing. That's what makes him him. But the fact he's 7'4", name anybody 7'3", or over, tell me they haven't got injured. That's true. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:22:40 Did Yao get injured? Hell yeah, Yao got injured. What the hell? Yes. I don't remember. Yao Yao got injured What the hell? Yes I don't remember Yao Ming got injured But like that's all I'm saying I want Victor to be
Starting point is 01:22:49 The best he can possibly be He's not going to be able to play 20 seasons I saw a tweet go viral And it was like If he gets Giannis weight He's going to be the Wilt Chamberlain That everybody's been lying to us about I saw that too
Starting point is 01:23:00 I saw that and I was like We all know Wilt Chamberlain's a liar That's never happened Yes it did He was a fantastic athlete He didn't score 100 points. It's a fact he didn't score 100 points. That was one of the first viral TikToks.
Starting point is 01:23:09 That was. He didn't score 100. So they have footage of him doing everything? Except that. Except the 100-point game? Just because their circus was in town, so they moved venues? Fuck out of here.
Starting point is 01:23:20 You crazy. And Chuck Taylors? Aren't you nuts? Bro. Oh, I got to tell you something off-camera about the NBA. Not Chuck Taylors. Converse you nuts? Bro. Oh, I got to tell you something off camera about the NBA. Not Chuck Taylors. Converse is cool.
Starting point is 01:23:28 They look like clown shoes on me. Anyway. Guys, that was episode 85. We absolutely love y'all. If you made it this far, your code this week for good karma, confusing the casuals, and to show us that you are true, true day ones. Code for this week. Leave it everywhere.
Starting point is 01:23:45 Instagram posts, Patreon, TikTok. Y'all been slacking on it too. And here is SAS. Sweet and salty. Sweet and salty, baby boy. SAS, we absolutely love y'all. The New York vlog is either out right now or coming out later today. The extended episode where we really take a deep dive into New York.
Starting point is 01:24:06 Everything will be me and Mama Liv. That'll be out later in the week. But Patreon, Mama Liv is back. Don't point at me. I'll point at whoever I want. There was something I was going to say. December 7th, Los Angeles. December 7th, thank you.
Starting point is 01:24:20 December 7th, Los Angeles, Regent Theater. Couple ticks left. Couple left. They actually released more. They released more they're loving y'all they were selling out so quick but they said
Starting point is 01:24:28 holy shit so here's some more and those continue to sell too link is in the description here's some more yeah check that out we're not just saying it
Starting point is 01:24:37 to say it we sold out Dallas we sold out New York this one will sell out if you want to be there go ahead and swag your ticket swag your ticket I almost punched myself
Starting point is 01:24:44 yeah snag your ticket now we can't wait to see you a couple weeks and we can confirm now that that's going to be our only california show so if you're like in a different part of california you're like maybe they'll come we're not yeah we're not at least for another year for not yeah for now until 2024 we won't be in san diego won't be oak. None of that stuff. LA is what's going to happen. In Los Angeles. I feel so at home. All right, guys. Remember, one out of ten Koala Bears.
Starting point is 01:25:11 Don't make it home to Christmas. New York, thank you so much. LA, you got a lot to beat. Hello? We will see you next time. Hey, he's in there.

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