You Should Know Podcast - EXPOSED FOR FAKING EVERYTHING! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

TOUR TICKETS: https://linktr.ee/youshouldknowpodcast?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=cf28649f-95a7-4878-8701-fc4ea9c2f071 NEW MERCH: https://youshould-know.shop/password PATREON: Patreon.com/YouShouldknowPodcast FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 TOUR TICKETS OUT NOW 2:36 HIMS 4:12 CAM JOINS BIRTHDAY EDITION 7:42 People Aren’t Real? 10:14 Tricking Your Own Mind 14:13 Who will have cooler kids? 16:29 Peyton’s Dog is EVIL 18:26 Factor 20:15 The Solar Eclipse is Fake! 30:08 The Styrofoam Debate! 35:38 Harry’s 37:20 Insane Locker Room Story! 41:21 We Plan a Bank Robbery 45:59 Spending $500k Challenge 47:43 FÜM 49:10 No Haircut or No Shaving 53:16 Cams INSANE birthday gift 54:38 Peyton’s Insane laundry routine 58:31 Do You Wash Store Underwear? 1:00:24 Exposing Peyton’s Shower Routine 1:07:53 Do we check on each other? 1:10:03 The Miles vs Time Debate 1:17:04 DR.P (Crush on my teacher!) 1:20:57 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: HIMS: https://www.hims.com/consult-start-qn-mbg-dlp-holiday?utm_source=QCode&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=hims&utm_content=YSK&utm_product=zeus&utm_term=rsu FACTOR: https://www.factor75.com/pages/podcast?c=YSK50&c_comms=PERCENT&utm_source=streaming&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=streaming50off&utm_content=act_radio_radioads&discount_comm_id=7267f20b-a39f-4440-9ca2-1404329a2b490&dis_channel=audio Harry’s: https://www.harrys.com/lpg/us-podcast/?utm_source=You%20Should%20Know%20Podcast&utm_medium=new-podcast&utm_campaign=ft-lp-redeem&name=You%20Should%20Know%20Podcast%20listeners%21%20Your%20discount%20has%20been%20applied Fum: https://tryfum.com YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, everybody. Welcome back to The You Should Know Podcast, episode 108. Round of applause. Please. It's a little early on the round of applause, but we like the anticipation. We like it.

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good karma has come back to you today you know why because the summer tour is announced and tickets are available right now link in the bio round of applause. Yep, and this is how it's going to go. We're going to be in Boulder, Colorado, May 31st at the Boulder Theater. We're going to be in Washington, D.C. June 13th at 930 Club. We're going to be in Philadelphia June 15th at TLA Theater. We're going to be in Chicago

June 21st at Park West. We're going to be in Phoenix, Arizona June 27th at the Van Buren Theater. We're going to be in Phoenix, Arizona. June 27th at the Van Buren Theater. And we're going to be in Las Vegas. June 29th at the House of Blues. And we're going to be in Houston, Texas to round out this first leg of the tour. July 11th at the House of Blues. All those tickets are available right now.

We are so excited to get back on the road finish this first leg of the tour it's going to be the same material y'all saw earlier in the year we're going to fully fully complete this tour we can't wait to shake your hands and kiss your babies it is going to be amazing it's going to be so much fun and then we have a big surprise for everybody at the end of this tour around august we cannot wait to show you guys that to give that to you guys we love you so much and guess what this is a very special episode If you look to my left over here, it's a lot of decoration over here. It's Cam's birthday. Round of applause for Cam's birthday. We'll celebrate that when he gets on the podcast. Guys, we love you so much. Thank you.

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Happy birthday. No, please. to cam happy that's moving in there boy i'm sorry yeah bro hey no it's just happy birthday what do you know please what do you happy birthday cam okay okay i need you to hold that keep that up i i really appreciate the gesture i think if i had to base the price of that on what i just saw that was worth every penny of 34 cents that literally said instead of a confetti cannon that was like a confetti burp it was like it went the whole thing broke the whole thing fell apart well happy birthday cam you're 26 thank you old man old man old man man stan hey happy Stan. Hey, happy birthday. Thank you, buddy. Happy birthday. We decorated your sign. Yeah, it's itching on my back. Appreciate that.

But Cam, it is your birthday, and you know you mean a lot to me. So I got you a gift. No, you didn't. I swear I did. No, you didn't. I did. Cam? I hear a lot of, I got you a cookie.

A sugar cookie. Your favorite. Is that, is that from like middle school lunch? Where? Okay. The first thing I've noticed, that's not sealed. I don't know when you purchased that cookie. That could be hard as brick.

That thing's not sealed. Oxygen's all up inside. It's not hard. Oh my God, it's crumbly. It's not hard. It's soft. So not only did you give it to me, you just mutilated it. Well, you It's not hard. Oh my God, it's crumbly. It's not hard. It's soft. So not only did you give it to me, you just mutilated it.

Well, you said it was hard. I could have tested the theory with my teeth. Oh. You went, it's not hard. I got you sugar cookie flour. Happy birthday, Cam. This is a sack of dough now.

This is a sack. Let's try it though. Let's try it. Thank you, buddy. Yeah. That means a lot. Happy birthday, Cam. of dough now this is a set let's try it though let's try it thank you buddy yeah that means a lot happy birthday cam you've got the worst pack of them ever oh my god

you know what i think you're doing it right bro hey this is bomb you're welcome happy birthday cam thank you happy birthday man i'm adrenaline in my soul oh my god it's cody rhodes you were literally supposed to say it's cameron kennedy oh i thought we were on the same wave i wasn't how was your week no is it cody Cody Rhodes' birthday or is it mine? I don't know Cody Rhodes' birthday. But on the level of importance in the world, I would say Cody Rhodes got your beat.

I love you, but Cody Rhodes is the WWE champion. He's out here changing lives. I'm just eating mangled sugar cookies with confetti. But Cam, how are you feeling? 26 years old. How are you feeling? How are you doing? The hips made it another year.

Shout out to the hips. Oh my God. We're a year closer to surgery, baby. Isn't it scary to say that's probably a real thing? Yeah. I'm one year closer to having a replacement. And you're a year closer to death. I mean, but that's like always been.

Yeah. I didn't always know my hips were going to suck. Isn't it sad to think that every one, count in your head. To what? Just count. By what intervals? Just one. One.

Keep going. Two. Yeah. Three. Every second you're dying. Four. That is insanely sad, isn't it? No.

I think it's beautiful. Really? I don't. And another thing that's been creeping me out, and I thought about it when we walked into the studio today, and there's a lot of people here, because live in the we don't live here but we near yeah we we we work in this big office building it's it's like 800 feet tall it's a huge office building in downtown dallas there's a lot hundreds of thousands of people here a lot of companies a lot of corporations i was walking through the hallways today isn't it crazy that everybody lives their own individual life?

And it is terrifying to me. Why is that? My world to me is like, that's sacred. That's the world. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. Exactly. How I smell certain things, how I see certain things. That's what it is.

And everyone's different. Everybody's different. I don't know what this person's doing, what they're thinking about you don't need to like what their family's like what carpet they have what they do to clean their carpets or their dishes do they have a tv at home like what do they watch what are they thinking of what do they get what what makes their that makes them tingle down below how do we know that like how does it's so crazy supposed to isn't that crazy that sounds like a you know what thought oh really yeah but i don't do the you know what i know that's why i'm like what it's just but it's genuinely crazy like

somebody that's actually a phobia or not a phobia isn't it uh like a theory or not a theory uh like a it has a title i'm sure everything does but it it means something. But I'm saying, like, think about this. My eyes is the world. That's the world. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know what this person, like, do you have an inner dialogue? Yes, we all do. No, not everybody does.

Like, not everybody has the inner dialogue. That's a scientific fact. Not everybody has an inner dialogue. That's proven fact. Proven facts for the God to you. Okay, now that scares me. Exactly. Those people are living blind lives.

So what do they think about when they're quiet and they're just walking by themselves? So there's some people that actually don't have anything going on inside of them? No, no inner dialogue.

That is terrifying. Now that's scary. Exactly. So, okay, if someone professes that they have an inner dialogue, I'm like, okay, human being. Yeah.

If someone tells me, no, there's nothing inside, that's when I would get scared. That is petrifying. That's creepy. That's like, what the hell do you... So, do they only have thought when something's in front of them?

I assume so. That's terrifying. I assume so. I feel like they're a step below. I don't like... I feel like they're a step under. Honestly, and that's okay. You're just not as developed.

They missed a developmental year. They were sleeping when something was supposed to be cooking. Exactly. Bro, that's okay. You're just not as developed. They missed a developmental year. They were sleeping when something was supposed to be cooking. Oh my God. And that's something I've done recently. So I've been in the gym a lot, right? I've been trying to get big, right? I feel like I'm doing good.

I'm in the gym often. Give him a flex. So I've been doing good. And I heard that sleep is a very important part to muscle growth. One of the biggest components. But I have crippling, life-threatening anxiety and so night time is terror for me night time is hell so i'm up all night twisted and turned and i think this is it for me once i close my eyes there is

no tomorrow that's nightly thoughts for me and so but i was like at the same time so sad but it's true it's also like at the same time i want to get big so i need to sleep but i can't mentally tranquilizers no oh that's not okay so i i was thinking and you're the muscle guy you know a lot about muscles you say a lot of science words about muscles and and you're like we have to have atrophy on the tendons and shit like that and you got to get your metabolic sentiments and shit like that. And so I was thinking, how does your body know when you're asleep? You know what I mean? So if I'm laying here, right, I was having panic attacks and sweat.

I was peeing and pooping on my sheets. This is a nightly routine. Right. Twisting and turning, thinking about you, a lot of blood flow. And I was like i gotta go to bed but i can't because if i lay on my stomach it's gonna break so broken club downstairs so i was laying in my bed right and i was like i need to get swole but i can't sleep because i'm panicked so i was like i'm gonna trick my body so i just closed my eyes and went can i i swear to god can i trick my body like that no why not you're not in control

of what of what you're not in control what does that mean you're not in control of yourself say more words you don't have enough brain power to be like no need for food no need for water sleep now i some people might but you i don't think you listen when i talk you can't trick your body into sleep i understand what i was saying you literally said you just went like a quick can i trick my body for the muscle growth that hey he's asleep god no and why not what changes from when i'm i'm really calm laying down damn near just like paralyzed to mean i'm actually sleeping how does the body know because i feel like when you're actually okay i'm not gonna just say this i'm not a doctor scientist but when you're actually asleep things are happening your your body's it's sending it's like a big repair it's like plugging in your

tesla okay if your tesla just sat in the garage and it was like oh i'm gonna be quiet keep the lights off the car's not started battery's gonna recoup is that gonna happen no no it has to be plugged in okay same things with our body nothing ever gets plugged into me we could be like this super super still super just calm yeah but shit's not gonna happen as it would if we're actually sleep scientifically behind it i can't give you the words and the phrases but i guarantee when you're actually asleep things happen for a reason like i don't know if it's blood cells whatever membranes and mitochondria i don't know where they're getting sent what they're doing they're clocking over time maybe that's when they get the clock in oh my god what happened oh my god say it i feel like we could make a children's

book about that i've thought about make a children's book about that. I've thought about making a children's book. But about that specifically. About sleep? Yeah. So the book starts like a kid goes to sleep. Okay. Like it's a small introduction.

Okay. Someone goes to sleep and then all the little mitochondria have like hard hats and clipboards and they all check in. Hey, they go through a tunnel. Yes. Oh, leave that for your science loser ass kid that you're going to have. That wears big goggles and is ginger and has freckles and no friends. Can't play basketball well, but his dad really wants him to.

But dad, I want to make the science fair. I don't want to play basketball. I want to read the mitochondria book. Loser-ass kid. You're so hurtful. Bro. Okay. 100% my kid's gonna be

cooler than your kid. No. Kale, honestly, let's be honest. Okay, okay. Your kid will be cool. My kid will be better though. At what?

At life. My kid's gonna be more athletic. No, no he's not. Yes he is. Your kid's gonna be a fucking scientist. No he's not. And I'm gonna love

that little ginger freak. In my case, he's not gonna be ginger. He is. No he's not. He's not gonna be ginger's going to be a scientist. No, he's not. And I'm going to love that little ginger freak. In my case, he's not going to be a ginger. He is. No, he's not. He's not going to be a ginger. He might be a scientist. He might be an astrophysicist. Which is great.

It's really cool and important. My kid will develop the rocket to leave this earth. Your kid will be like, dude, I can hoop on the moon. I can bring the entertainment source. I can bring CPAs up to space. It's a CPM. CPM. CPAs.

Damn it. We've been talking a lot about CPAs. But no, your kid's going to be cooler, probably more athletic, probably look better. Yeah. But I'm going to love my kid nonetheless. Your kid's going to be Ruby. My kid's not. And every single person that comes in contact with Ruby loves her.

Loves her. But. Is it sympathy love? Is it sympathy? It's like, how did you make it so far? That little baked bean. I can't wait until I'm watching episode 108 with your kid. And I'll be like, look how we talked about you.

Hey, I'm like. Are you going to allow me to pick on your kid? Thank you. I always, I hold that dear to me. Be mean to your kids. That sounds crazy. That sounds crazy. Not mean, but like you got if me. Be mean to your kids. That sounds crazy. Whoa. That sounds crazy.

Not mean, but like, you got if... Thick skin them. Yes. If they don't get thick skin from their most beloved people in their life, bro, the real world's going to crumble. What was that? Crumble them. He said crumple them. It's going to crumple them.

It's going to destroy them. Like, so say your kid comes over to my house, right? Uncle P, mother... Okay. That's a bit much. So say your kid comes over to my house, right? Uncle P, mother f***er. That's a bit much. A front kick? A teep kick to my kid's chin? Shot Michaels.

If you sweet-chinned music my offspring, and then he comes home and tells me, you and me are putting on a wrestling match for our families. But no. In sumo attire. And then I... Oil? First one to insert wins. First one to insert wins.

That's crazy. That sounds like the guy off Family Guy. Quagmire? No. The old man. Whoever takes the most time on PM wins. That's the sickest bastard. No, that's...

Never mind. I'm going to save that for another day. Dude, Malcolm is dying. We shouldn't say that. Don't say that. We shouldn't, but it's true. But how do you know? He's shitting the house.

He's never shitting the house. Malcolm's never shitting the house? Never shitting the house for him. Even when he's a puppy, he never did. He was always really good at that. To hell with his death. Celebrate that. I don't know.

I don't know if there's another human on this earth that can say, my dog's never shitting the house. Yeah, he was always really good about it because whenever we bought him he was on his like they're about to euthanize him and they're like hey if you don't buy this dog we're gonna let him go and then so malcolm knew he's like if i don't he said i gotta be on p's and q's from day one i remember the first day we got him he was so cute bro and now he's on his way to the heavenly gates he's going to hell we know if we anything about him, he's killed so many rabbits. And now it's so sad. I went back.

He's the gangest con of dogs. And now it's so sad because he's in his older years and he can't run. He can't really hear very well. Eyes are milky. No, his eyes are fine. He has good eye syndrome. And so we let him outside and he sees a rabbit and his natural instinct's like, I'm gonna go get him. But he physically cannot keep up and then so all the rabbits now know that so they all

congregate in the backyard and they just kind of run around them and make him feel bad for all the offspring that he's taking okay i'm gonna ask you just to hear your initial thought but you probably can't give your response on the internet okay i still want to ask you say you go home you go back to austin pop in the front door hey mom dad preston love you you go outside yeah you go where's malcolm he's on the bed yeah you go out there malcolm's standing on your little concrete part yeah the porch he's standing on the edge right you look out into the distance 15 rabbits all with wooden twig spears in a perfect line and there's one commander rabbit with a cute little helmet on maybe like a sombrero like a cute helmet like a commander general like a chief rabbit and they're all looking at malcolm they're

all going like this like they're coming for their damn retribution they are coming for it um what would you do you know yeah okay let's save that for the internet save that you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by a good friend of mine and i like to call them factor i'm gonna get real personal for a second you know i have a very hard time going to the grocery store buying a bunch of food taking it home refrigerating it cooking it spending hours cooking and hours cleaning that's why a year ago i found Factor Meals and it completely changed my life. Eat stress-free in the spring with Factor's delicious ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, and ready to eat in just two minutes.

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The You Should Know Podcast. Okay, so Cam, how was your week, bubba? Bro, it was fun. It was a taxing week because of certain things. Not going to say on here, but it was very fun. It was we this already came out after our you're laughing at me but i've tried my mind circles we went to my birthday dinner we watched ufc 300 obviously this is pre-recorded so we're gonna do that in like two days but that happened i'm assuming it was fantastic time it was a good week it was like it was a good you know what happened this week what happened the solar eclipse happened that was a that was a good birthday. You know what happened this week? What happened? The solar eclipse happened. That was a strange, strange moment in time.

Very strange. And I found a way to get embarrassed in front of everybody trying to enjoy the solar eclipse. So me and Cam were together and we were on TikTok Live. And we were enjoying the solar eclipse together in a parking lot of a gym, right? I was itching like a hoe. And there was a lot of people gym, right? I was itching like a hoe. And there was a lot of people outside, right? Everybody was looking up with their goggles on. It was a whole gathering.

It was so cool. And we got the full coverage, right? They got the total eclipse where we were at. Totality. Totality. Totality. So this is the first time I've ever experienced anything like this, right? So I had questions.

So we were outside in the parking lot watching the total eclipse, right? Yes. It got real dark outside for the solar eclipse. It got real dark. It's pretty sick. It was like 1.30, bro. Street lights were on. It was like black.

Yeah. And so we were making conversation with all the people around us. We were enjoying this historic moment together. And so I had a level of comfortability with everybody. Shouldn't. I shouldn't have. I never should. Should not have. so i it got completely dark outside and i said it was sick i said i thought it was gonna get cold and everybody everybody stopped looking at history

in the sky and looked at me and said what yes or no was i those people? Okay, but I genuinely don't understand that. How did it not get cold when the total eclipse happened? And that's a genuine question because at night it gets cold, right? Cold-er. Because the sun's getting blocked by the moon. The sun doesn't get blocked by the moon at night. How does the moon get light? From the sun.

Is the moon not in front of the sun? On the solar eclipse jack wagon not on every other day of our existence at night how does the moon get light earth spin i'm asking you a question us other side moon here sun still far sun beam on moon moonlight moonlight moonlight moonlight that's moonlight that's moonlight that's exactly what it is not that wait genuine genuine okay dead ass we're gonna start from just what happened at the other side of the earth let me tell what do you mean so for the toe so the moon and the sun that's why it's special because the moon and the sun are right by each other correct that's why it's a special event for the solar eclipse correct what happened over there i don't think they saw it what did they?

Where was their sun? It was already nighttime. You gotta think. So they had no moon that night? No. What? If the moon was on our side, getting covered,

covering the sun, how the hell over there do they have a moon? Because we can always see the moon. Everyone can see it. Wait, actually, hold on. Oh! Wait. Got him!

Put your anime-ass stance down. Hold on. Okay. It doesn't make sense. Sun's here. Moon here. Went perfectly in the middle of the day, so we're here. We're seeing it directly. Us, moon, sun. So on the back side of the earth,

they're looking that way. How do they see? They don't have a moon that night. Was their shit pitch dark? It was dark. Oh, there's a lot of crime committed. Thank you. So now I'm not crazy. That doesn't prove anything you were saying.

That's exactly what I was saying. You literally said, I thought we were going to go on the ice stage. If the sun's blocked, why is there no woolly mammoths out? That's what you were saying. You don't think it should have got a little colder? No, bro. First off, that's... How does the moon not melt then?

If the sun's that fucking that hot how is it getting right in front of it not burning up genuinely questioning what is it made of cheese is it made of wax it's a rock right a rock you can't rocks aren't flammable a rock a rock a rock's not flammable you're kidding that's a really God. A rock? That's really God, and I'm getting hot. You literally put stones at the bottom of a fire and around it to encompass it. Okay. The wood's what burns. Okay, that's a regular flame and a regular rock.

The sun is there. If the moon- The sun is 15 billion light years away. I love that story. Whatever they say it is on the textbook. That's another thing. Shut up and let me speak if the sun is that far and is that powerful and can like the whole world from that distance and you put a rock in front of it you expect me

to just be like oh a little warm on the back end mr sun my back's hot that's what the moon's saying that's what the moon's saying? No. You have to understand. First off, light years. That's so far that this shit, the light that we are getting hit has already happened. That might be a curveball for you. Are you time traveling? Do you understand?

No, literally. Do you understand? Y'all fucking believe anything and it's bad. You're all fucking cheap. Oh, happy birthday. Do you not understand that? No, I don't understand shit that's happening. I don't get any of it.

You're saying there's a moon over here. It's covering this, but the sun's so bright, and it's making this moon light up. But if you get in front of it, it's not going to burn it up. And it's light here. That happened two decades ago, and we're getting that day. First off, it's so far. That's like saying us.

Why don't we burn up? Because we're so far. Sometimes I do when it's hot. Yeah, sunburn. We don't disintegrate into ash. So you're saying our whole planet doesn't just... So the sun's light years away, and we can still... Millions.

Millions of light years away, and we can still get sunburned. But if you put that flimsy ass little rock in front of it it's perfectly fine no discoloration or nothing no spf on that bitch all you gotta understand this this is your this is your common misconception and i have a hot take that i think we could we could capitalize on but here we go the the sun yeah okay we are feeling its heat from its heat. Okay. The rays are giving us the light.

That's what gives us the light. We could literally, on the backside of the moon, right? Backside of Earth, when it's completely nighttime, when everyone's sleepy, sleepy, it's a little colder because the initial rays aren't hitting us, but the whole Earth is still heated. That's how hot the sun is. I get that.

That's my point. So you were saying when it's blocked, we're still feeling the sun. The light is what's blocked. That's why it went dark. Okay, my question is... The temperature didn't go... It should have a little bit. No, it shouldn't.

If it's getting covered. No, it shouldn't have. Okay, but the big bad moon can't burn up, so it should be strong enough to block something, right? Just block some of the heat. It's blocking the light. That's why it got dark. It doesn't block the heat. How?

It's a little wall, right? It's a little wall that's blocking the sun payton if there was a fire right there yes initially right in front of us yeah okay if there's a fire right there yes we would feel it yes or no a little bit okay if we throw up a uh not vomit if we a big rock if we put up a big rock in front of it. Yes. Okay. Do we still feel the heat from the fire? Yes, a little bit. That's all it is. Now imagine if that fire was thousands, thousands times the size of the earth.

The hottest thing we can possibly conceptualize. That's the sun. Okay. Just because there's something in front of it doesn't mean we don't feel the fire. Okay. The initial flames, it might not be as bright because we put this black rock in front of it. So it might have got a little dimmer how we're still hot how does the rock not have any side effects because it's not a candle and it's still so far away it's not mercury mercury the closest planet to the sun that bitch is burnt but it doesn't go it doesn't't just, it doesn't just, it's not, you

know. Is mercury made of the same shit we are? I don't know. Probably not. Cause it's been directly by the sun for years. It's burnt. We are at a part. And that's another thing.

None of this shit makes sense to me. It's another. No. Okay. My hot take. I swear to God, I think you could come up with unbelievable, like you could damn near be a philosophical, like a, like a time piece in history. Me?

If you did this. Okay. If you went to like Stanford, right? Harvard, something like that. You couldn't get admitted. Maybe like the off grounds, maybe like the B team. Yeah, yeah. So like you hang out with people that are in the school, but you're not admitted. It's like Blinn.

Yeah. Like that's what I, I'll go to Blinn of Harvard. You'll go to the Blinn of Harvard. Yeah. Like that's what I, I'll go to Blinn of Harvard. You'll go to the Blinn of Harvard. Yeah. If you did that and then somehow got accepted by this big philanthropist, kind of like an Einstein thing

and you just went on this compound. Right. And all, you didn't have a phone, you didn't have a laptop, you didn't have, it sounds scary for you. You didn't have any electronics,

right? You just had several notebooks and a great ballpoint pen. Okay. If you, every day, all you did was wake up, drink water,

go outside, look at grass water nature and you just wrote your thoughts yeah you you damn near might find the keys to the universe my friend because you always you always the the fact that you think outside the box you're already one step ahead yeah nine out of ten times it makes you seem goofy but at least you're trying but i don't but okay that's the problem that's the beauty the problem is all these people on the internet make fun of me because they're scared they're scared i don't care they're scared to make they're scared to make themselves look a certain way they care too much about what people think i'm so it like okay with myself that i'm gonna be like if this doesn't make sense to me i'm gonna ask a question and if your explanation

doesn't make sense to me i'm not just gonna accept it because you have a lab coat on with a monocle like who the fuck are you like i don't you know what i mean sure you can prescribe me penicillin i don't care explain why that rock's not on fire that's what i want you to do i don't give a damn about your lab coat and your clipboard yeah explain to me why we didn't get cold yeah and that's why you're gonna be great thank you and another thing we argued about this is styrofoam in a microwave. You told me to take my to-go order and put it in a microwave. And I said, absolutely not because it's going to set on fire. What?

That's rule number one in microwave etiquette. You do not put foil or styrofoam in there. Foil. Correct. You don't put foil. The second you put foil, you got a Harry Potter spell in there. It's blue. You can use Dementors flying around. You don't put foil the second you put foil you got a harry potter spell in there yes you can get the mentors flying around you don't do foil what every restaurant on earth gives you to-go boxes in what styrofoam why would they do that if you can't heat it up

because it's cheaper to buy styrofoam than what glass where they're gonna give you tub of air then probably something that's microwavable it It's cheaper. What is the number one thing that businesses care about? Money. Exactly. Profit gain and loss. Are they going to give you something that's convenient? Or are they going to give you something that is cheap? They're going to give you something that's cheap.

Thank you. That's not going to kill you. That's not going to kill itself. Burn itself. You know how they fix that? At the bottom it says don't microwave. Liability gone. Bro, you can microwave styrofoam.

No, you can't, Cam. That's not... Okay, this is... Okay, go to Chick-fil-A right now. What are the cups? What are the cups they give you? Not styrofoam. Oh, my God.

I didn't know you grew up in Bel-Air. Wait, oh, yeah. No, they are. Well, some of them are. Some of them are, actually. What are, some of them are actually. What the f***? Some of them are. They're like that, it's like that cardboardy plastic, like the old, like the cups from

there. No, they're not. Every Chick-fil-A cup you get is styrofoam. That's a lie. When we were in the airport. So which finger part? Remember that cup was like the cardboard one when we were in the airport about to leave. No, I don't remember that.

Okay, but okay, just say it's styrofoam, right? Yes, yes. So it's styrofoam. Sorry. Okay. Okay. So you... What the fuck?

What the... Yo! Yo, the crazed look on your face. Please, somebody put that in slow motion. Why'd that... I literally feel like I got stabbed in my butthole. Oh, what was this? What the f*** is this?

Ow. Yo, I think my hole is bleeding, dog. Ow. Smell my finger. That's a big f***ing spring! Yo, I'm suing this goddamn company. What is this? Ow, bro, that shit genuinely hurt.

Like, I'm not laughing. That shit hurt. That is not funny. Bro, you look generally hurt. Like, I'm not laughing. That shit hurt. That is not funny. Bro, you look like taking advantage. Like, you look like you're, like, sheltered now. Bro, it went in me. This shit has bounced to it. The fact that spring just came out of your couch.

Dog, this is the shit you can't make up oh my god okay back to what we're talking about bro okay today alone this man was running through the studio rolled the shit out of his ankle he goes ah that's why one shoe's tied then we're setting up the lights he stands up pokes himself right in the eye with a rod And now you get stabbed This is an actual, like this bitch is Oh god It hurts No, we gotta get out of here

Okay, okay Okay, when you go to Chick-fil-A, right? Yes What are the kind of cups they give to you? Styrofoam cups Okay, so I want you to do this I want you to, would you do this? Confidently

Would you pour out your iced tea, right? Would you pour the iced tea in the sink? Put that styrofoam in your microwave and press two minutes what would happen if there's nothing in the styrofoam it might melt a little bit maybe that's what i'm saying what are you heating are you putting are you trying to cook something in styrofoam are you putting it in the microwave for 15 minutes it takes 45 seconds to heat some shit up from last night need it if it's microwavable it shouldn't matter what it is. If it's frozen and it needs to be in there for 10 minutes, maybe don't use styrofoam.

It's probably going to melt to the bottom. If it's microwavable, it doesn't matter then. It doesn't matter the time. If it's microwavable, if y'all put a plate in there for 10 minutes, the plate's not going to be fine. It's going to be hot as hell. It's going to be fine, though. It's not going to ruin the integrity of the meal or the plate.

If you put styrofoam in there, it's going to set to set on fire melt and put goo and chemical toxins in your lasagna that's what i'm saying if you're just heating up leftovers you're good it is not microwavable there is not integrity to the microwavability that's your fault that's a you thing that's a you thing that's a you and whoever's on your side just say you're wrong no that's a you and whoever's on your side prove me wrong every prove me wrong do you think how many lawsuits do you think there'd be by now if if styrofoam genuinely couldn't be in a mic hey i've already made this point you know how they get away from liability the bottom of it says non-microwavable. On every single one? Yes. Does it really?

Yes. Wait, so are we not supposed to be microwaving? No. I do it all the time. It is perfectly fine. That's why your hip doesn't work, your toe's infected, your brain is like a pinball machine, and your kid's going to be weird. Wow. Wow.

Sharp fangs. Damn. Wait, it actually says that? Yes. Do not microwave at the bottom that's bullshit i microwave it every time if you put it for six minutes you're just a stupid idiot you're just a stupid okay that's fine this episode is brought to you by our friends at harry's one thing you know about my life cam is a lot of ridiculous things happen oh yeah and

life in general can just be ridiculous but you know what's not funny what's not funny p getting ripped off and harry's agrees they saw customers getting screwed over by questionable and overpriced shaving companies and decided to go and do something better instead of charging the same stupid high prices harry's found their own way to make beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price. Exceptional products, honest prices, that's Harry's. A few things that makes Harry's the absolute best is they have German engineered blades made in their own factory that simply stay sharper longer. They have customizable delivery options for scheduled refills as low as $2, half of what you pay for other big brands. And they're not just razors. They have richly lathering, skin-softening body washes in scents

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Getting ripped off isn't funny. Switch to Harry's. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash YSK. That's harrys.com slash YSK for a $3 trial set. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

Alright, this has nothing to do with Styrofoam, but something else that happened this week, the National Championship game. Do you remember? I do. Women's? Yes, but something else that happened this week, the national championship game. Do you remember? I do. Women's. Yes, yes, yes.

I didn't watch the men's one. Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? I couldn't name you other than the college basketball players that I know. You didn't have that shit going. Yeah, I can't name any college men's basketball players other than the ones I know. That's true. Okay, regardless, the women's championship game.

South Carolina won. They beat Iowa at the end of the game. Coach Dawn Staley, she's giving her interview. Goat. She's very goated. She has swag that gucci zip up ridiculous yeah she's clean she's sitting there she's like the lord that we serve is a fantastic god and we're so blessed and favored so she's saying this really intimate speech right her her players are behind her one of the girls like yeah man i was shitting bricks in the third quarter we We were down. Caleb was going crazy. This other girl was like, eh. Yeah, yeah.

So they're living it up, right? Bro, so it reminds me of this crazy thing that happened to me in high school basketball. Okay. So one day we come in for practice, right? My coach brings me into his office, which is connected to the locker room. Mean, like he's mad at me for whatever reason. I walk in, he goes, stand right there. I didn't even get to sit down.

He goes, stand in the corner. So the way the office is set up, he's mad at me for whatever reason. I walk in, he goes, stand right there. I didn't even get to sit down. He goes, stand in the corner. So the way the office is set up, he's in his chair. The window, the glass is behind him. And that's where all of us are, the locker room. So I'm in the opposite corner. So I can see him and the glass. And your teammates through the glass. Very important detail.

He starts getting on. This is right out of seventh period algebra. Like, nothing's been said to me all day. Immediately. You're bullshitting around. You're not taking this this shit seriously we need you to play if we want to win and you're not doing it out of nowhere so i'm like what the hell he goes i see what you do every day in practice i see how you act in the locker room you're you're bullshitting you're playing around you don't take this shit seriously you don't love basketball payton yeah while i am getting a speech

about not being serious i need to be this better captain, I need to lead my teammates, I swear to God, two of my teammates, I can see the coach and them. Two of my teammates are behind him, naked jumping jacks. But naked jumping jacks. I'm getting yelled at. I don't take this shit seriously. I got two teammates going. So you can only imagine. I'm a natural nervous laugher so you can only

imagine i'm sitting there like he goes you gotta spit you want to say something and i was like no no no sir and i covered my mouth he goes don't tell me you're sick now we got a game friday he's going off on me and it just continued so he goes all right enough that do I have your word that you're gonna start taking shit I'm talking no more layups you dunk everything if you dunk other kids are gonna try no missing shots no not touching the line you gotta lead by example at the same time a new teammate of mine took his underwear off put it on his head and started going like this so i'm i am seeing shit that you can't even fathom right over this man's shoulder and he's screaming at me there's spit flying and shit dog and i am literally trying my absolute hardest to just keep composure and i'm

like i'm like oh my god And there'd be, bro. Literally, as I was watching it on TV, I had like a That's So Raven moment, like a pure flashback. And I was just like, yo, I cannot believe that. And I forgot all about that. I had to tell you. Yo, you're better than me.

No, oh, no, I'm not. I almost got like kicked out. When I hit that first, I went. No, you're better. Now you're sick. You're better than me. I would have been like, he's a cop, bro. Look at him. He's doing the naked jump that's what i wanted that's a butt ass naked but i was just you know did your teammates knew you were getting yelled at bro and that's why they did it or they

just normally being weird the wall was like plywood they could hear every word they're like you're not being serious oh god i miss those days it was oh my god it was bad i miss those days it was so that was oh shit that was genuinely one of the hardest moments in my life like uh you want to laugh everything and he's trying to laugh but you can't oh my god there's moments where i don't know you because you are a goofy guy but i don't know if there's moments you would be serious like this did you see that article this uh easter in la there was a 30 million dollar heist on a bank thank god like real life heist 30 mil out of a bank on easter first of all is it gta doing it no first of all is it gta second doing it on easter is insane smart though that's in banks are close decent

move but insane work how do you get 30 mil out? That's crazy. What bank are they running? Is Dampshire not a Chase or a Wells Fargo? They got about a mil liquid, and that's highly protected. You're getting 30 mil. 30 mil from a bank. Yes or no, are some of those bills traced?

100%. 100%. 100%. But that made me think. Okay. I've always wanted to live on the wild side. Okay. Me and you, right?

Oh, we'd get away. How much do you think we could get away with at a bank? Like a regular Chase Bank down the street. If me and you wanted to rob a bank, how would we go about it? And how much do you think we could take seriously? Honest answer? We're not getting 30. We're not getting 30.

How much are we? Why? Because you can't even carry a million yourself. So I'm damn sure not grabbing the other one. honest quite honest answer we're not getting 30 we're not getting 30 there's no how much are why because you can't even carry a million yourself so i'm damn sure not grabbing if they're in hundreds yes i could yeah maybe one mil yeah that's it what am i grabbing the other 29 i'm gonna be loaded down like mr incredible pick your hat i have a car you have a car okay so the car like me and you pull up in our respective cars. You got to break down this plane because you're the brains of the operation. I'm the muscle. Okay, first thing we do, we wear sleeveless shirts.

Very important reason. Why? We wear sleeveless shirts. After we commit it, we immediately go home, use some of that cash, we go get inked up completely. Surveillance videos, they have naked arms, but the next time someone questions us, we're completely inked. Can't be me. I've had these tattoos for years. Maybe you're not the brains of this operation. We pay off the artists. Just bear with me. Okay? Ski masks, differented. Can't be me. I've had these tattoos for years. Maybe you're not the brains of this operation.

We pay off the artists. Just bear with me. Okay? Ski masks, different colors. Can't wear the same ones. Too easy to track. Different colors, ski masks, shirtless. Sweats and shoes, we don't care about.

The second we're gone, we burn them. Disintegrate them. Okay? With the cash... Okay, the biggest thing is we have to spend cash at everywhere we go for the next 20 miles. 100%. With cash, we buy a junk car from a redneck. He doesn't like talking to law enforcement.

He's done dirty things himself. Yes. Junk car from redneck, travel to Nevada. I have a place where you get junk cars. We don't have to go to a stranger. Even better. Junk car, fresh tattoos. We got to get good ointment to where they don't look fresh when we get questioned.

And then we just stay low for at least two months. You can't do anything. You can't spend the money? You can't enjoy anything we got. Where do we put the money? For two months. Literally in the trunk. We're just leaving in the junk car? 30 M's. Trunk of the junk car. You can't do anything. You can't spend the money? You can't enjoy anything we got. Where do we put the money? For two months. Literally in the trunk. We're just leaving in the junk car?

30 M's. Trunk of the junk car. No one's pulling up on us. No, you're bad. Oh, no. Because the junk car is going to be on. I'm shaving every hair follicle on my body. I will be a naked.

I will be a morph suit looking man. No, we got to get a new car. We got to burn the junk car because that's on surveillance. We can't keep the money in the junk car. No, the junk car is our new car. We got to burn the junk car because that's on surveillance. We can't keep the money in the junk car. No, the junk car is our new car. We get rid of our cars. Actually, no, no. Well, you said we pull up at our prospective vehicle.

That's what I'm saying. You're the brazen operation. Yeah, it's that. They'd go, license plate, go to his house, take his mom. I'd go, here, have the money. Okay, junk car, get rid of it, get new junk cars. That's what I meant to say. Yes.

Okay, I'll let you take over from here. We're in Nevada. Okay. We have the money. We're both bald as shit. We're wearing weird clothes. Money's in the trunk. Itchy from new tattoos.

Okay. What do we do next? With the money? With our life. What's the next step? I'll take it back. I'll take the reins back. My God.

You're in charge for 10 minutes. We're in cuffs. Okay. Next thing we do, we apply for 10 minutes. We're in cuffs. Okay. Next thing we do, we apply for local jobs. Okay. We have to. Only one of us. We switch shifts, though.

Your graveyard, I'm during the day. Your graveyard, one's always in the car. We live out of that car for two months. We get very close, very stinky. Okay. Okay. Oh, can we kiss? No.

We're working jobs. We're going to get real. We're on this high of a lot of money, and we're naked close to each other. You don't think we'd get a little. I don't sleep naked. If you sleep naked. You're going to get real. We're on this high of a lot of money, and we're naked close to each other. I don't sleep naked. If you sleep naked, if you sleep naked in a 97 Pontiac, then you're already a different guy. In Nevada? In Nevada.

You're going to get hot. It gets cold at night. But you don't want to take a nap during the day? I'm going to be working. I work during the day. You've got the graveyard shift, so we're both cool. We're both cool, calm, and collected. See, I told you I'm here.

I'm here with you. So once we get the job, we get a singular notebook. Composition. I like them better. We write down our new life story. Kind of like the Ricky Stinicki movie. Yes, yes, yes. We write down a plan.

Yes. How long we've been here. Why are we here. We're lovers and we've eloped. And we have to know that to the... No, stop it. We have to know that to the T. Two kids.

To the T. We have two kids. Sure. Two kids. Brian and what? Peyton. So you get a junior and my son's name is Brian. That's your choice.

How about Brian and Steph? Curry. Peyton. Harden. But I do have a question, because you are a cheap guy. So we'd say... I'm very cheap. Different scenario, right?

Okay. Different scenario. Different scenario. How fast do you think you could burn through $500,000? Immediately. No way. Immediately. You think you could burn through $500,000? Immediately. No way. Immediately. You think you could burn through it faster than I could?

Yeah. Okay. Say we're going to buy on count of three. No, no, no, no. But you can only buy things that you actually would want. You can't just spend it on this $500,000 thing. Then I guarantee I'd get it quicker than you. Even better.

The things you want, like actually want like daily use things. Yeah, that helps me even more. What would you get? Because my first, I'll tell you my first thought process. Say yours on the count of three. Hold on.

$500,000. See, I already know and you don't. I've already won. I've already spent the money. I've already bought it. Okay. Okay. Can't be an investment.

That's not. Can't be an investment. Like you, personal fun use only. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Personal fun use?

Yeah. Like daily life use. I'll say my first answer. You're probably going personal fun use only. Yeah. Okay. Personal fun use? Yeah, like daily life use. I'll say my first answer. You're probably going to veto it though. Ready? Okay. Three, two, one. House.

Bot. Boat. A bot? A bot? I get the stripper whiteboard robot. You're buying AI. Yeah, stripper whiteboard robot. Okay, I bought a house.

All of it gone. I'd give him $500,000. Immediately gone. Maybe I didn't mean to say $500,000. $500 million. Okay, now $500 million, I'd say you. All of it gone. I'd give him $500,000. Immediately gone. Maybe I didn't mean to say $500,000. $500 million. Okay, now $500 million, I'd say you could burn through it more. Yeah. I don't even know what I would do at that point.

Oh, my God. I'd buy everything I've ever wanted. You'd have naked AI robots. Everywhere. Oh, my God. I would have a... Cassandra! I would have a brothel of AI.

Wife! A brothel of AI. I would be like... A brothel of eight. I would be like, a brothel. CJ muted. I'd be like. Suck, I had to get it out. I had to get it out. I had to get it out.

It was killing me. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Fume. You ever tried to break a bad habit and felt like you're climbing Everest in flip flops? You should know podcast. whole lot more enjoyable. Fume is an innovative award-winning flavored air device that does just that. Instead of vapor, fume uses flavored air. Instead of electronics, fume is completely natural. And instead of harmful chemicals, fume uses delicious, delicious flavor. Yeah, you get it. Instead of bad, fume is good. It's a habit you're free to enjoy and make replacing your bad habit easy. Your fume comes with an adjustable airflow dial and is designed with movable parts and magnets for fidgeting, giving your fingers a lot to do, which is helpful for de-stressing and anxiety while breaking your bad habit. Oh, you

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Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Okay, speaking of scenarios, would you rathers, I have one for you. Okay. Yes. Pipe down. I like when you hear would you rathers, because it makes me feel like you care about what I have to say.

Well, I like to hear your thought process. Okay. Simple would you rather. Yes. Would you rather never be able to get a haircut again, or never be able to shave any part of your body again that's that's fine with me that i feel like that one is easy look at the back of my legs yeah hairy hair ground beef hair and i've never shaved and i've just been this hairy i'm fine with it i would never shave the rest of my body again you might not be able to see my my my man meet ever again but you just you just put a put one of those lights on your head

and go find it so just go digging for it just go go get you some mud go get your hands dirty go get what you want so brooks brooks in your your lineup is that valuable to you yes my face is on camera my whole job is on camera payton you'd look like a you would look elderly in two years how you can't shave this ever again that's a part of the haircut i said all all hair you can't shave any hair on your body so i can't get a haircut then no no haircut that that's the only thing that's just so skulling up he's hearing up oh no no but i'd be fine i 100 i still my lineup is my barber that relationship with it i would to keep my to keep my haircut i would not and i'm gonna go shave my body i don't give a damn about a haircut. That's fine by me. Cam. What? Cam, you would look nasty. I would, but I don't give a damn.

At least, you, okay. For as much as you're telling me I'd look nasty, you would smell horrendous. You would smell, you would smell utterly bad. Body shampoo. Body shampoo. You'd literally, you would have like, you would have a bush, full blow a bush i would not

not a bush they were thinking it'd be a literal garden and you'd be like you'd smell there might be a there might be a couple bugs once every two months but just flick them off like a ladybug that's that is that is i would have i would have a thong of pubic hair your lower back your lower back would be the bikini line no that would be the only problem is my butt crack. It would get hard to poop. It would get caught. It would be like a little webbing. Come here, we got him.

It's a spider web. Oh my god, then the critters come out and they eat him. Oh no, golly. Oh, oh, oh. I might have a helmet of hair, but that's the beauty on my hair, though. Oh, no, that'd be bad. Cam, your head is so big.

And it never drops. My hair's so thick. Oh, my God, you'd have an afro. I'd be a chimp. I would just put on a headband, and I would do 1970s streetball reenactment. You can finally live out your black dreams. Okay.

You'd pick... You'd be like, finally. I could get cornrows or something. I'd go, what'd you say, white boy? Bro, my hair would... Who are you looking at? I don't know. I could get cornrows or something. I go, what'd you say, white boy? Bro, my hair would... Who are you looking at? I don't know. I thought I heard voices in my head.

That's okay. I didn't think about that. What the fuck is that? I didn't... Stop with these faces. Stop. I didn't think about that. Yeah.

I'm still... I have to shave my body. But bro, my hair wouldn't... My hair doesn't drop. It would... No, it would just go like this. No, no, no. I could do like a co-wash or something.

Liv would get me right. Liv would get me right. Liv would leave you. No, you would be, marriage is not in your future anymore. You would have to become asymbiotic. You'd have to self-reproduce. No woman would touch you.

That's fine. Would you touch me? So no woman? If you don't touch me, then we'll have a problem. But if you still touch me like you touch me so no woman if you don't touch me then we'll have a problem but if you still touch me like you touch me i'm not touching no it's your birthday no it's your birthday so i know you pinch the nerve. Dead ass. You're going home with your ass whooped from today.

Oh my God. Okay, do you want to know initially what I was going to get you for your birthday? I was going to say, you know, okay. You just turned into someone different. I didn't like that. Okay, fun fact about me. Okay, do you know who I want to initially get you? Fun fact about me and Cam, right?

We FaceTime all the time. And he always sees me naked don't believe this is truth unless i can do you do you do i show you that part i show you my naked body nearly every time we're on facetime this doesn't sound but it's your birthday so i was going to give you something special you know how i sometimes show you the rear like that yeah and i maybe sometimes i'll send you a picture of a little like right before the shower be like i'll send you a little picture right it's we friends. That's what we friends do. I was going to go to Target. You better watch your next words carefully.

This is out here. I was going to go to the icing. Put some icing on it. Maybe a couple sprinkles. Send you a picture. Happy birthday, Cameron. If I would have opened my phone and there was a rectangle with invisible ink and I scrubbed that ink off

And it was an ass cake of yours for my birthday. I delete your number. That's Tres leches I do a multi- your ass. Oh, you did that for a reason. No, no, I didn't. No, you're a sick guy. I have you fantasizing. That's how I would do it. That's how I would do it. Matter of fact, okay, again, my mind, you already said it, pinball mind.

My mind is running rampant. But you are a genuine sick bastard. The shit that, when I called you yesterday, and what you said on the phone, that really, that like pissed generally don't remember i'm blank hours okay i do like don't remember story time just secret time for payton i call payton be careful because i will cut it out i call payton hey bro uh the chicken was frozen i messed up so i think we are gonna go out and eat oh what was your response what was your response i have to shower before we go brilliant you remember so far okay i have to shower before we go. Brilliant. You remember so far.

Okay. I have to shower before we go. I said, all right, I'm getting the shower. You'll be over in like 15 minutes. Hurry up. He goes, but I'm waiting. For what? He goes, my towel.

What do you mean you're waiting for your towel? You said, well, I didn't have any towels clean, so I had to wash a towel and I had to dry it. And I said, oh like so you're waiting for your load of towels he said no i only needed to do one shower i go wait wait you mean to tell me you genuinely take one towel start a load a load of laundry with a singular towel. No. Then dry one towel. And then use it. Where are you from? You're not from here. Okay, you're not gonna do that.

You're not gonna do that. That is weird. No matter how you try to formulate and cookie cut this bullshit, that's stupid. First of all, because I'm not a sick, nasty freak like you, you Slavic baby.

I wasn't born on the mountains of Caucasus like you. I can't reuse towels. I can't wipe my genitalia off, put that towel back over the rack, and when I shower again, scrub my face off. I can't do that. So once I use a towel, it's kaput until it is washed and dried and put through the funnel of cleanliness. That's rule number one.

So I go through towels fairly quickly. So I shower not too often, but when I do, I only use it once. New towel. Right. I use a new towel. Everything's good so far. I've been going to the gym a lot recently. So after I leave the gym, I shower two hours later because it takes a lot of courage to get back up.

So we went to the gym, went back home. I wasn't prepared. I had no towels left. In crisis situations right whenever i'm i need to quickly shower and get dressed i will wash one towel i normally don't have underwear i will wash one underwear i don't have socks i'll just i don't wash my socks i'll wear the same socks for five days and i had tequila you literally had the same pair of socks on with tequila stain on it that is sickening continue And so that's what I'm saying.

In situations where I need to get and go, it takes longer to put a full load in there and I'm not, who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Am I Laundry Man Payton or my podcast Payton? I don't do laundry. I don't know how. Well, I do, but it makes my back hurt and it makes me anxious and it's so much waiting.

You don't do laundry? No, I don't. You know I don't do laundry. When's the last time you seen me wear this shirt? It's been a while. Exactly. It hasn't been clean since the last time I wore it. The smell just wore off.

So that shirt's dirty? Oh, yeah. I literally had to, there was like crust on it. I had to go like this and like fluff it before I got here. I swear to God. You have to scratch off your clothes before you wear them. I swear to God. Those shorts.

I don't know whose these are. I found these in the studio. I don't know whose these are. Kim, yes or no, before we went to the gym, I said, I don't have any clean underwear, and then I went in my duffel bag, and I found the Mack Weldon sponsorship ones. I was like, thank God. I just ripped those out of the bag. I thought you were trying to just be convenient and try them out.

I had no other option. I was going to free ball to the gym. Where are those socks from? The dirty laundry. Peyton. Are they dirty? A little black. I can tell you've been

walking in them. Yeah. Bro, laundry takes... You didn't see Ruby nibbling on my socks yesterday? Because there was like grass stains on them. They were the same ones

I wore to Zilker and Austin for our Austin show. Oh my f***ing goodness. Oh my god. That was like weeks ago. Oh, and I got in a debate with my mom about this and my mom was probably wants to kick your ass she was ridiculing me okay when you go to the when you go to the store right and you buy underwear do you wash them right before i like when you buy it before you wear them do you go you buy a new pack underwear

do you go home and wash them yeah oh i thought that was weird it's untouched but it's like it's like but it's underwear i don't know it's uh okay but i bought the i got i'm starting to get like nicer underwear because i'm tired of getting holes all up in my like it feels like there's a mouth have you seen that movie teeth oh no no like there's a mouth on my and it's like come on it's I'm out to play. He's the underwear eater. And so, like, I don't know. Yeah, underwear eater right under my ball sack. And it eats...

So, I always have holes right here. Right here, right there. And I think it's going to scratch a lot there. And so... And so, I'm trying to buy nicer underwear, right? But the nicer underwear I'm buying, you can only buy one at a time and it comes out like on a hanger right and i haven't been washing those okay that's even so it's it's not even packaged no no no it's out on a hanger i want you to think this yeah some

low-life desolate creep could have came up and went i love making people's days smell me get a load of me no that she's 100% right it's gross they're not even packaged bro

I did have an itch but that's fine no that's not no it's not do you get butt pimples no I don't yeah you get ass pimples

what no I never I don't get ass pimples. I get ass pimple. It's always one, and it's really bruisey and hard. Left or right? Depends. Changes. Left or right?

It changes. If you had to pick one. Right now, it's right. That makes sense. Wait, why? I'm like, that checks out. And I got another debate with you, actually. Do you scrub your ass?

Like, do you thoroughly... When you shower, are you a clean shower? Okay, genuinely, and this is, I'm going to probably have regret. My digital footprint is insane. Yeah, it is. But I'm genuinely myself, right? As you should. That's good.

I don't hide anything about myself. This is me. Oh, my God. I'm going to get ready. So, Manscaped hasn't sent one of their hand scrubber things in a while, and I lost it on the move. So, Manscaped, can you please send another one and so i haven't had a loofah in about how long did i move in it go like almost a year what when did i move into my new house november november december oh damn god

she's been real desolate and lonely in there time is moving gray and slow. So four months, right? I've been without a loofah or anything to scrub. Is that a year? And so this is how I wash, right? I have my hand. I wash with my hand. Now, normally I don't. Normally I have a washcloth, but I lost all those.

And then Manscaped, I lost my hand thing, the sponsor. I lost the hand thing. So I just mean. How did you move? How are you losing all these? You're saying, I have fucking. Honestly, you know me. That's true.

And so what I do is I'll get the soap, right? And I'll start up top like this. I'll start up top my shoulders, my body, and then my back hasn't been touched in years. I bet my back smells like Narnia. You know in SpongeBob when they like zoom into things and it's like corroded and like nasty? That your bad okay probably and then i'll get my sensitive areas right i'll get my pits right and so upper body's done that's as much as i do this is how quick it

is right there done right that's the top half top half is complete because i spend like 45 minutes in the shower but half of it is contemplating what am I doing? Like, why do I feel this way? Is this regular? And how the fuck is the moon not dissipated? You know what I mean? Like, that's my life. And so then it's time to go to the sensitive regions, the undergarments, right? And so this is what I do.

And you genuinely want to know how I wash my ass? I go to my stink spots first. What is that so i'll re-up on the soap i'll re-up on this is a bare hand oh my god oh my god what if you had a nose itch after what if you went you had an itchy nose i genuinely haven't answered everything i genuinely haven't answered everything and i'm being completely honest with you dead ass no podcast shit no entertainment purposes i am being completely paying hard right now i'll put it in my hands more because that's a stinky ass region i'm about to go un-cadamitate right put it in my hands like this and then i get my my stink areas

my webbing that you know me it's you love your webbing i don't i hate it it stinks and it's it's sensitive and it burns oh Oh, my God. You have something. You have something. Peyton, girl, he's going to leave now. You need antibiotics. Oh, my God. You need... No, it's just raw.

Because you play with it 24 hours a day. So, I'm getting in my... Stop, bro. I'm showing you. That's the question. You want to... So, look. I'll get my webbing, right? I'll get my webbing. So I'm getting in my Stop bro I'm showing you That's the question You want to So look I'll get my webbing right

I'll get my webbing And then so I still I haven't washed off My top half Top half yet I'm letting it marinate Like kind of like A good steak on Thanksgiving

And so And so so So I'll get here Get my You're a sick And so Oh my god I believe that I mean so No I swear to god Cam Kennedy I swear to god You're a sick guy. Oh my God, I believe that. I mean, I swear to God, Cam Kennedy.

I swear to God. And so I'll bring it up, throw it over the shoulder, and then get under it. And so that part's a lie. It barely even touches the belly button. So here we go. So, sorry, Mom. My hip. So here we go.

Now it's time for the butt you wanna do and I watch my play Cam Cam Cam I swear to God. This is how I've been doing it since I lost my loofah Sort of God, I'm so nervous because All right, so all the sides from up top are still there right so I'll go like this I'll start my thumb on my abdomen and work up to my collarbone. Then right arm, right finger. I'll work my finger from the left to the abdomen.

And so there's so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, And I'll take it. I'll go right to the rear and I'll just swipe it off. Swipe it off. Right in that crack. And then I'll mush it. Mush what? My cheeks. How open were they?

I'll get some separation. I got to get in there. How open were they for you to be able to go? I'm just saying I'll squeeze some separation. I gotta get in there. How open were they for you to be able to go, what? I'm just saying, I'll squeeze them together. So, nice,

nice, it's like a Philly cheesesteak back there. Oh, no, you are, you are supremely, inadequately clean. And then you're,

you're wondering, you're wondering how I wash my face. And so, I'm a jerk, like, you know I'm sensitive with my face. Like, I don't want people touching my face. I don't like touching my face. So, I have to make sure my hands are know I'm sensitive with my face. Like, I don't want people touching my face.

I don't like touching my face. So I have to make sure my hands are clean if I got a nose itch or an eye itch or something. And so I'll wash my hands off with whatever. I'll wash my whole body. And then I face wash. And I feel like face wash is cleaner. So I'll do one, two, three, four, five, six squirts of the face wash.

I'll just wash my hands. And I'll wash them in the shower. And then dry them off on the towel. And then I'll be able to touch my face again. Yeah, I bet you are. You do six pumps of face wash to wash your hands to leave the shower.

Not even to wash your face. No, no, no. Just to resume the shower. Just in case I want to touch my face. I'm still in the shower. I have like 35 more minutes left. That whole process took four minutes. Six pumps of face wash to touch my face. I'm still in the shower. I have like 35 more minutes left. That whole process took four minutes. Six pumps of face wash.

To wash my hands. To wash your phalanges. Yes. To continue to shower. Yes. Without washing your face. Not every day is a face wash day. Oh my God.

You're going to get eaten alive. Is that bad? Should I not be saying all this? No? Okay. Sorry sorry guys. Doc, I wash my face every morning and night. I think that's bad. It's kind of like shampooing.

You're not supposed to do it every day. Oh, no, no, no, no. Face wash is different. Really? We sweat, touch, all sorts of shit, dirt, every day, all day. But that's not even what I'm honing in on. The fact you were so open to where it could... That's unbelievable.

But the fact you used six pumps of face it could that's unbelievable but the fact you use six pumps of face wash i'm gonna say it one more time slowly to make sure i heard you yes here we go one two three four five six one two three four five six pumps pumps it's in my hand of a face wash yes to wash your hands yes to then not wash your face with the face wash no because if i want to touch my face after i wash i don't want to use the dove body wash or the with the face wash no because if i want to touch my face after i wash i don't want to use the dove body wash or the manscape body wash i don't want to use any of the body washes i have on my face because i'll break out so if i do go to touch my face i want it to be the face wash that is left over on my hands i just washed my beard for the first time

like a month ago because my brooks our barber he was like he was like bro you gotta do something with that he's like it's getting nasty cutting it and it was like it was like sawmill work it was like it was like flying you ever know you have bad breath and you go to get your hair cut it's so awkward oh no i have bad breath often why payton tasks to wake up in the morning, Cam. And you think I'm going to brush my teeth? I'm staying the night. You don't give a fuck.

I'm staying the night. You don't care. I'm staying the night. You don't care. I do care. I'm saying I just do. You've known me for like seven, eight years. And you have not come to check on me once.

That's not true. When have you come to check on me? When have you genuinely come to check on me? First off, I call you all the time. If you want me to be there physically with you. You call me because you're asking about something. Bullshit. What do you call me?

What do you call me for? This is like the Philly and Chunk shit. No, exactly, but that's nowhere near it. We talk every day. We talk every day about what? About. You want to, the only thing you want to talk about is your diamond opal bullshit cards on 2K that you bought.

That is nowhere near true. You've never called me and been like, how's your mental health? I didn't buy them. Yes, you do. No, I didn't. That's the only thing he cares about.

That's all you care about. P, I, we talk all the time. Fine. We talk all the time. About what? We talked on the way

on the car up here. About? About relationship statuses. And I was asking you questions questions allowing you to vent and i said i got you but i even consulted you and you said oh no no i'm not sad i'm not all right then about that you said everything else everything else is great no but i've actually never smelt your bad breath like and i didn't even know you dealt with bad breath because when we kiss i take care of it that one time he said p i'm, I'm going to ask you once, dog.

Did you brush your teeth this morning? Ryan was spotting Peyton on the bench press. P was like, Ryan said, he like moved out the way and Peyton laughed and the weight went on him.

That was a hell of a moment. But you, you don't i don't know how much longer i got what was that laugh look you only you only talk to me to debate things with me or make fun of something i do that's not true in the one of the things you made fun of me recently and i i don't give a shit and I won't let the internet tell me I'm wrong. I won't let you big-headed, nasty-ass, toe-wide-hipped-ass. You're going to have a weird kid. Okay. Just take it easy, buddy.

Just take it easy. You can touch me. Just take it easy. One thing that you made fun of me for that I will not go down. I will not go down. I will not go down. Whenever you ask me, whenever I'm supposed to meet you somewhere, you ask me, you're like, P, how far are you? And I always tell you I'm five miles away.

And you get on me for that because you want me to tell you the time. What does it matter? The distance. Everything for us is relevant on time. Five miles in traffic could be 20 minutes. Five miles on a freeway could be three minutes. You asked me how far I am. How far are you?

Five miles. In terms of time, everyone... What do I gain from you being five miles away? I don't know if there's a broken bridge. If you're in the middle of a movie 2012, you're dodging potholes. I could be six hours away from you and be down the road. Exactly. Tell me.

Because if you told me I'm down the road, I'm a mile away. Okay, but it doesn't matter. I would assume you're two minutes away. No, because if I'm two miles away, you can come get me if it's six hours away because there's a catastrophic event on the freeway. I'm two miles away. You can come get me. If I'm six hours away, I could be in Destin, Florida.

That's not right. And how many times have I called you and there's a catastrophic event? Every day is a catastrophic event in my life. Yeah, I'm staying the night. But you don't, why would you, okay. Genuinely, just, you know what? Let's blank, let's blank it.

Let's start from scratch, okay? If we're set to meet somewhere a certain location yes and i go how far are you four miles cam okay now talk me through why you would say that as opposed to time why does it make sense to you i'm being genuine i want to hear yourself i'm being dead ass okay because it makes sense to me because you said how far are you i'm four miles away that's far is a measurement of distance right miles is a measurement of distance so i'm telling you what you asked for right so what would the appropriate question be how long is it going to take you to get here that's so much longer but it's what you want it's twice the length okay but every every time i tell

people like business people friends family hey how far are you i'm x amount of miles away and everybody gets on me and i don't get that common denominator maybe every maybe everyone we're that bad shit again we're the sheep you're the ultra master mega mind lord but that that okay i'll agree with you mark it down this is very rare event i'll agree technically you're answering it correct so there's nothing there's no there's no pin on your jacket but it's like oh are you you're shitting me do you really think i care about the kilometers of of you to the bar? I'm not in the UK. I care about how long is it going to take you to get here.

But instead of me saying those 12 words, how far are you? Okay, but Cam, I'm telling you, I feel like, okay, in a regular instance of life, without any other variables, two miles normally takes two minutes, right? That's how I was taught. Ten miles is ten minutes. Without any variables, that's how i was taught 10 miles is 10 minutes without any variables that's how far it's one mile a minute no that's literally probably only if you're on a highway or freeway tollway you have to be going 60 miles an hour to be a mile a minute if you're going residential roads see i just said something new to you

you understand that that's why it's a mile a minute 60 miles an hour oh my god i'm listening hurry oh my god before i lose it keep going 60 miles an hour yes means a mile a minute no i get it so what if you're going in your neighborhood at 20 but that doesn't resonate to a mile a minute you understand that's a mile every three minutes you it just makes sense to me because because if that's fine okay okay okay okay okay when you look something up so say we had a business meeting and somebody said this is where the address is what is the first thing you're gonna look at what are they gonna say what are they gonna say what do i say to you when you put it we just had a photo shoot over there down the street and you said oh where is it and And I said, it's eight miles down the road.

Exactly. So that makes sense to you how far it is. Nine out of ten people, when they say, hey, how far is that Chick-fil-A from the football game afterwards? What are they going to say? It's five miles down the road. You're a liar. They're going to say it's eight minutes. No one speaks in miles besides you.

I swear to God. Would you rather say, hey, it's a hundred miles away? Would you still want to go? What are we, on a road trip? That's it's 100 miles away. Would you still want to go? What are we on, a road trip? That's exactly what I'm saying. So then you know. Every answer you would say to me would be 10 miles and less. Okay, okay.

But if it was 10 miles down the road and somebody who drives fast, I'd be like, it's one minute away. No, it's not. What are you driving that's one minute for 10 miles? I'm just saying if somebody that drives fast is different, something that won't change is the distance, is the miles. That's something that won't change. You showed a lot of teeth.

Because you're pissing me off. Something that won't, time will always change. Distance won't change. Miles won't change. The gravel, the land won't change. But that doesn't answer the true question people are wondering miles makes the world go round time is what everyone lives on people don't give a shit how if you live three miles they care how he's seven minutes away people only give a shit if it's a

ten a twelve and a half mile drive to the bar if they care if it's 20 minute drive everyone goes off but that changes that changes one thing that won't change is how far it is away but it's also but okay that won't change but that's the that's the reason because for you 12 miles might be 30 minutes for me 12 miles could be 12 minutes that's why people want the time and not the mileage your grandpa could take an hour to get to the club you might take 20 minutes so tell me is it gonna be 20 or an hour to get to the club. You might take 20 minutes. So tell me, is it going to be 20 or an hour? Don't tell me 12 miles because the miles won't change, but the time will. No,

but if I tell you the distance that it is, you can make your own reference in your brain. Then why the would I even ask you if I'm going to make my own presumption? Because you're asking me. You said, how far are you? So I'm telling you how far it is. Exactly. And then make your own presumption based on the knowledge you know of how fast I drive. If I wanted the i could map it i'm asking you because it changes

for you it is specific to you it's subjective to you the distance is objective no because there's always there's always there's always what there's always variables that can happen exactly that's what we're trying to figure out the roads but i don't. I don't know there could be a 10 car pile, but I don't know. But you know I am X amount of miles away. So you could presume miles in time. Your Tesla knows the distance. Apple Maps, Google Maps, shitty ass Waze Maps, your little shit map Waze Maps.

Waze is the best. You can have the Jonas Brothers tell you your directions. That's kind of cool. I'm not going to lie. They all know the time, but little Peyton doesn't. I'm'm not a little big peyton doesn't cute massive peyton good morning good god bro why i don't give a shit about mileage i want to know if you're 10 minutes 10 minutes 10 minutes or 10 hey that doesn't mean much because you don't give a love doctor Shut up Dr. P Dr. P

Dr. P Dr. P Dr. P Dr. P I think you changed up the beat a little bit I had to take a breath, sorry Sincerely sorry I was running out of oxygen

Golly What do we got? Better be toxic This week's is sick I'm not gonna lie Good, good Dr. P likes the sickness. All right.

Dear Dr. P. Hello. So I really like a guy, and I've liked him for over a year now. Try eight with this guy. But he's a teacher. And he was my teacher last year. He's really young and single. Should I wait until I graduate to go after him?

Or should I try to find someone my own age? The guy helped me a lot mentally, educationally. Please guys, stop. And physically. I need help. Oh, let's get into it, boy. She's got a teacher that's young and single, hasn't even graduated, helped her mentally, educationally, and physically.

I can't even joke on this one. Oh, man. You wanted toxic and your secretary found it. I also wanted legal. Your secretary found it. Look, do not engage. First of all. India Golf Niner Niner mission is gone.

Let me be completely serious here. I am very concerned on what you mean by physically. Very, yes. If there is any kind of physical contact with your teacher, you need to talk to somebody. Counselor's law enforcement parents now now and that person needs to go

under the jail no dead ass that is that is bad if there is any kind of relationship there that is not school related that needs to be brought up okay i'll have a i'll have a suggestion son okay let's approach the rest of this assuming there was no physical boundaries for legality reasons. No, regardless, no. No, no, no, no.

We also don't know if it's high school or college. So I don't know. No one says teacher in college. That's true, they're professors. Oh my God, it's high school. Oh my God, it's high school senior. No So I don't know. No one says teacher in college. That's true. They're professors. Oh my God, it's high school. Oh my God, it's high school senior. No, no.

I'm not the doctor. You need the police. You need help. No. It is okay to have a crush on your teacher. I'm sure a lot of people have. Keep that inside and never tell anybody. Inside, inside.

Do not tell that teacher because that is a problem. Good God. You threw Dr. P for a loop. Dr. P is with fun, toxic things. 97 mile an hour curveball right down the pipe. Dr. P is for full legality. Leave that teacher alone. You keep it yes sir, yes ma'am.

No tutor time. No emails. no emails care if you're failing fail you fail if you need to you take that and you and you and you pass summer classes so you don't have to go back there uh maybe in like eight years after high school then you can round about and go see but no no no no no no ma'am wrong to answer she has she has another question close your mouth should she should she wait till she graduates or try to find someone her own age yes find someone your own age the latter the latter dr p wants to go back on his private jet keep singing the song okay oh my god dr p dr p dr p dr p Okay. Oh, my God. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Dr. P. Dr. P. Get some help. Dr. P. That was a... Oh, my God. That was a case file. That was a wild... That's not a Dr. P.

That is a police thing. Is that top three we've ever received? That's worst three. That's bottom three. No, yeah, top three of... Of sickness? That's worst three. That's bottom three. No, yeah. Top three of sickness. Good God. I like toxicity. And legality.

And legality. Good God. That made me uncomfortable. Oh, my God. All right. My heart is pounding. Keep going. All right.

Get us out of here. Good God. Yeah. Wow. What a note to end it on. Tickets. Get your tickets. You don't come.

He is in shock. Dude, I'm uncomfortable. Dr. P, you take a one-minute breather. Tickets, get your tickets. You don't come. He is in shock. Dude, I'm uncomfortable. Dr. P, you take a one-minute breather. You know, collect your thoughts. All right, guys. Episode 108. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart and Uncle P, Peyton, and Dr. P, even though he's sickened right now. Bottom of his heart for 500,000 subs. It's fantastic. We could not be where we are without y'all. And what'd Kobe say? Job's not done. Job's not done.

We're going for a million by December 31st, 2024. We're chasing Millie. We're not going to get to Doorstep. But thank you again for pulling up to another episode. Also, thank you for all the happy birthday wishes. I will respond to some. Thank you for the ones on Instagram, everything. I really do love y'all.

Appreciate it. I got the secret code. Secret code? Wait on Instagram, everything. I really do love you. I appreciate it. I got the secret code. Secret code? Wait, wait, wait. Use the secret code everywhere. On Instagram, on YouTube, on TikTok, everywhere. Discord, Patreon. Use it everywhere.

Confuse casuals. Get your good karma. And you have to spam this one. I want there to be 10,000 comments in this episode. 10 million thumbs ups on this episode. It's a stretch. But spam the secret code is hbdc happy birthday cam in the comments right now spam it everywhere everybody and everybody comment your favorite cam win moment if you have all the all the all the clip people post your favorite cam

clips on tikt TikTok and tag us. Ooh, maybe a Cam edit? Question mark for a little birthday print? Nope. I saw a Cam edit the other day. I don't have Cam girlies. It's all right. I have the Cam girly.

You have the Cam girl. I have the Cam girly. She's my beautiful wife. And you have a Cam boy. And I have a Cam boy. That's my beautiful boy right there. Enough of the sappy shit. Yeah, it's my birthday.

26 years of life. Thank you so much. The summer tour tickets are out now. Top link in the bio. Click that. It's going to have all the links for the different cities. Come see us because we want to see you. It's going to be so, so fun and fantastic.

We can't wait to see all your beautiful little faces. And we're not touring again for a while. We're not touring again for a while. And a big important piece. This is the same show as the first leg of the tour that was spaced out. This is just giving it all to you

in a solid little month and some change. So, same show if you've already been to them. That doesn't mean you've got to not pull up to another one but it's the same show.

Don't spoil it for your fellow brothers and sisters of the You Should Know family. We love you so, so, so, so much and remember one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time.

And we'll see you this summer. Tickets available right now. Yeah, you're going to D.C.? What about Philadelphia or Chicago? Deuces!