You Should Know Podcast - HOW LONG IS TOO LONG? -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast YSK UNPLUGGED: https://www.youtube.com/@YSK.UNPLUGGED FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home 00:00 Intro 1:52 CAM JOINS! 4:29 CAMS BLACK HISTORY POEM 9:08 WORST DINNER EVER STORY 25:50 HIMS 26:55 WAFFLE HOUSE DATE NIGHT 35:51 QUO 37:02 PET SMART MISTAKE 43:53 TOILET PAPER TAIL STORY 48:42 SHOPIFY 50:56 YOU OR YOUR GIRL IN PRISON DEBATE 1:01:46 CHEERS 1:03:13 SEALS vs SEA LIONS 1:07:20 POP CULTURE: HIS & HERS TV SHOW 1:19:20 ANNOUNCEMEMNTS Todays Sponsors: Hims - Get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more at https://Hims.com/YSK with a free online visit. Quo - Try Quo for free and get 20% off your first 6 months at www.Quo.com/ysk. Shopify - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/ysk. Cheers - Same night out — way better morning with Cheers. For a limited time our listeners are getting 20% off their entire order by using code YSK at CheersHealth.com. #Cheers #ad FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via rail, love the way.

Back to you should know podcast, episode 2.03. Round of a blast. Please. Yes, sir. Oh, we got some things brewing. YSK unplugged is going through. the moon and the link is in the description. If you want to watch the Payton versus Kamp World Tour documentary one week before

the general public on YSK unplugged, completely ad free, completely uncensored, it's over on our Patreon right now. Episode 2 is live right now over on our Patreon, right? Link in the description. But if you don't want to get Patreon, bad mistake, shame on you, it will be available Saturday. February 14th Valentine's Day, wrap yourself up in a little snuggy, get a little nasty with yourself to episode two of the documentary titled The Million Dollar Deal.

All right, guys, we love you so much as a Kuala Royalty and live stream this Thursday. Come say hi to all of us over on the Patreon. We love you, we love you so much. The twos, the 200s are feeling good, right? We love the YSK family. YSK unplugged is going to the moon, and we all have our rocket ship. That's kind of nice. We love you.

Now on to the rest of the episode. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. Yes, sir. What's up, Kame? How are you feeling? I'm good, buddy. Oh, man. Last week it was the shoes.

This week is the shirt. Wow. I mean, Hall of Fame back-to-back bad outfits. You're 96-97 Jordan with bad outfits. Let's go. Bro, this thugs need hugs. I feel like that's a very universal statement. Dude, you don't think you need a hug.

I'm not a thug, first of all, and that might be an intent behind that. Oh, no, no. Oh! Can I just, can I set the record straight and start with something very intentful? Yeah. Very intentional.

Yeah, what's happening? Ooh. I wanted to, uh, I wanted to show, to show my respect and my honors to you and your community for Black History Month. This is the first recording day. I wrote a,

I wrote a slight jingle. Do you mind if I, Do you mind if I sing it? You wrote me a hymn for Black History Month? I wrote you a cultural black hymn for Black History Month. Yeah, man, go ahead. Happy Black History Months! I figured it was only right if we did it in a rap form.

Wow. We created a lot of genres other than that. I'm not going to write it in piano. What are you doing? No, come on. Here we go. Ready? Let's go.

Lock in. It's four lines. Let me get through it. Okay, don't do the hand. Well, okay. Oh, that hands it. No, you can use that. Oh, I can use it?

Yeah. Happy Black History Month, say it again. What, past, present future? Let's see. You just use your own ad-liff. Yes, that's fine. Because no one else, I'm a one-man band. No one else can do it.

Okay, here we go, third time. Oh, my God. Happy Black History Month, say it again. What past, present future? Let's celebrate then. What culture power history in the mix? What black excellence? Yeah, that's it.

Happy Black History Month, buddy. I also wrote a second version if that one didn't hit I really have another one Yeah, you go Give me the other one Happy Black History Month Turn it up loud

Celebrating Legends Stand and proud Yeah From then to now Every story hits Black History Strong Yeah that's it I keep ending with

Yeah that's it Because I don't really know to close it But thank you Thank you As you should Right HUR

Nope No No Well don't do that See you're gonna use A tongue If you're gonna do There we go

All right Welcome to February. Wow. Man, name your top five black people of all time. LeBron James, Denzel, Washington. In terms of money and grossing actress, got to go Zoe Zaldana. What's her name? Zoe Cravitz?

No, sir. Not Cravitz. Who? No. The one that plays an avatar and every FDGI, everything, Gamoora. Got those three. So top five, you don't even know your name. You don't like that many black people.

You added some of you don't even know their name. Okay, I can easily go, LeBron. James. Yeah, your favorites. Favorite. LeBron James. Right. I'm going to go Drake. Now, that could be controversial, right?

He's got a lot of, there's a lot of little different page. Even your top five has to have a little widened it. A little widened it. LeBron James, probably throw MLK up there, maybe. Maybe. I mean, hell, Serena. She was a, she was a monster. Simone, too.

She did great for our country. Definitely Denzel. If Denzel's not up there, it's not a top five. And then final for the top five of my favorite. favorite personal blacks, black people. Let's go with, you're making me sweat. Let's see. Why?

I'm not going to steal your purse. A final black. It should not be this hard, but I'm thinking of my favorites. My mom's out there? Oh, your mom, your mom, Arnita Hardin. There we go. There we go. Arneida Hardin.

That's my top five black people. Simone Biles, Serena Williams, LeBron, James, Denzel, and Arnita Hardin. That's my top five black. I love how much black woman representation is in. I can give you a lot of black women representation. That's your favorite. Queen Latifah's definitely.

I'm surprised you to make your top final. Queen Latifah's up there. You've got to have Jada Pinkett. I mean, before all this, you know, whatever stuff. She's falling off a bit. Megan Good before the cigarettes and nipple pictures. Oh, the nipple pictures are fine. Yeah, but.

You don't always appreciate a good nip? I mean, it was good. But, you know, definitely making good. Youthful years. still got to throw in Nala in that top five. That's a lion, it's animated, but you know she's black. She's black and proud.

That is a gorgeous lion. I'm throwing Nala in there. Never a big Queen Bee guy. Beyonce's beautiful. And she has some songs that are very suggestive, but I was never like, you know, oh my God, Beyonce dropped. I did used to listen to her on the way to my AAU tournament.

So in the car with my mother. Why? Because I was afraid to play explicit rap music that was like, ah, shoot him, shoot them, kill them, whatever. So I played, Dance for You by Beyonce. Tonight I'm gonna dance for you.

Oh, oh, tonight I'm gonna dance for you. Play that in the car with my mom in a 2013 Kia Sorrento. Right. Headed to South Dallas, 9 a.m., court four. I'm surprised due to current situations, the new Nikki Minaj is not up there for you. I go, you know my favorite musician can rock. I'm just kidding.

The fact they're throwing their own halftime performances. No, that's crazy. No, we're not getting there. We're not going there. It's tricky waters. Very tricky waters. No point. Hard to swim in those waters.

On Black History month, huh? I mean, that's, I mean, we're off to a start. I was just making fun of you not- Oh, no. Because I'm black. No, because you can't swim. That might be because you're black, but I'm saying. I was making fun of you, not your culture.

Dude, yeah. I know plenty of black friends that could swim. Name three. Um, uh, Cam, Russ and What's his name? Vince.

And you've all from Seminole State, physically seeing them in the pool with me. And they're all black. Nice. A lot of them are black. You went to Seminole State pool? Yeah. Green water. Yeah.

I remember, believe it or not, but the year before you got there, you know who, assistant coach, made us do a pool workout. Of course he did. Shirts off! He said shirts off speedos only! He said after we're skinny-giff.

And I get to record it. Oh, that is deep cut Lori, and y'all will never, ever. I tried to bring it up on a live show, but it can't beat out of it. I mean, that's the type of, that's like that Vatican City. I feel like we even say that, we even put that out in the world. He'll be in our inner world. I'm not worried about it. He'll be in our, that's good for you.

He's going to jail. Yeah, what if he gets us first? You can get us first, then go to jail. That's true. That's not one little joke over a creep is not enough for my life. He does know how to summon deer. He knows how to summon deer. He knows how to literally vanish from an institution, yet somehow get a job 40 miles down the road.

Yeah, at a bigger school. And no one knows where he is here, 40 miles down the road. They all know him. He's got a whole new different aliens. You know, he popped up on my Snapchat as a white woman. Like his little bit mojo was a white woman. You're a black man. Can we talk about that real quick? That happened to me, not black men and white women. There's a lot to talk about there.

But I'm saying, can we talk about how Snapchat really is dogging these people out? No, tell me. How you just said, if your phone number is the same, and you've been on Snapchat, and you think you're going to be smart, and oh, let me delete this and do a new account, a brand your account, be someone else. Oh, no, no, because it'll show you.

It'll pop up. Oh, this is in your context as blank in your contacts. Yeah. And now it's freaking Sabrina Carpenter Fan Page 101 on Snapchat. I know who you are. I know exactly who you are, and that's weird, man. Dude, yeah. It is strange.

Dude, a lot of strange stuff has been happening, man. This last week, we went to a million subscriber dinner with the whole team. Congratulations on our million subscribers. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Can I just say this first? Yeah, yeah.

You gotta let it go. No, no, no. No, no. I don't have to let it go. I generally don't have to let it go because I was trying to treat my team to a nice... No, no, okay, we spent $3,800 on his dinner.

How much that dinner, call? Oh, my God, it was not worth it. $3,800, and Pierce, if you do it again, you're fired. He left a $500 tip. No, no, no. You let the $500 tip on that, on that. I saw it in your chicken scratch handwriting.

And Gratuti was already included. Yeah, yeah. He double tip. Oh! No, no. Oh, he double tip. You double tip. You did, you double tip.

Parties. No. No, it was in your handwritten. Exactly. But you wrote. You added more. Yes, you did. Yes, you did.

Yes, you did. When it's already added, it's in the total. You did. I saw 500 an inmate spork handwriting from you. And then because after she told me, I'm going to take off the tip. that he added. It was her exact words.

But I said if you didn't pull out a QR code in front of 12 people, I might have told you to leave it. So we went to this restaurant that's in Dallas, Texas. Don't go to it. I won't say the name. It's called. Oh, what? Oh, what?

You can mute it. We'll see it. Patreon, you get to know the name of it. There you go. There you go. That's good. That's good. Dallas.

So we went to this restaurant, right? And I went to this restaurant for my birthday, right? And it was one of the best restaurant experiences. I've ever had. I mean, top tier, you would have thought we just, I mean, we were like royalty. Yeah, no. And we don't expect that going out. It was just, it was, it was, no, yeah, the I do. Actually, no, yeah, I do. If I'm spending four grand on a dinner, I expect a certain level of intimacy at my dinner. That's true. A certain level of, of white glove service, right? Honestly, I want you to carry me to my car. Sir, that drink's not even halfway done it.

We're already pouring another one, though. Because we know it's going to be needed. Exactly. Can I say this was the worst restaurant experience ever in Ken? We can go back and forth on this. Let's do it. First of all, there's no parking at this restaurant. None. None. Because it's downtown.

Yep. It's a downtown restaurant, which is fine. So I go to valet my car, right? If the valet is $40, right? And the only option is to valet. When I give you my keys to my car, I expect you to take my vehicle to where I can't see it. Yeah, put it in a shelter.

put it in or something behind a security fence. Yeah, he parked it right there. No, no, no. He literally got in my truck, took it literally 16 feet and parked that. I didn't even make it inside. He goes $40 in a tip. I said, what?

You said, I could have left it there. I could have done that. Yeah, first of all. And so that was the first red flag, right? Oh, my God. To go with the parking. So you remember when Ryan pulled up late? Yeah.

So I went out there and I go, hey, brother, I see your 10-foot parking lot of valet is full. Where's the nearest parking garage? His literal answer, the guy, the valet guy, I say, where's the nearest parking garage? He looks to me, goes, 12.

What? I'm not kidding. He goes, 12. And I went, what are you? He goes, uh, 12. And I went, ah, that's right. And I walked off. I went, what the fuck?

Oh, I think there's a place called 12. Oh. No, no, no, no. Oh. I just don't think he was understanding. I don't think he was picking up, but I was putting down. I said, hey, brother, where's the near?

I know that's, I literally went, I know that's a one way, and there's one right there. Is there another one close? Like, where's the nearest parking garage? He goes, 12. And I went, all right. Thanks.

And so, we get into the restaurant, right? First of all, they knew what was going on. They knew the management knew, this is the Ushundel podcast coming in here, million subscribers, big milestone. Big milestone. And we want to share it here at this restaurant because we had a good experience. Now, I've never been in the hospitality business, but I know, right, if somebody is,

saying we want to celebrate this big monumental moment here, I'm going to be like, okay, let's do it right. Let's do it right. Which is fine if you don't even want to do it right or do it big. Just do it, right? You don't have to do it big, just do it. They didn't do it. Give you the fred.

We do, so they don't want to sit us. First of all, we get a private room. We get this private room, right? Because we just want to have it just us, you know. And I've always thought about this. Why is there a wait for a private room? No one is in there. And you charge us $580 a head before getting in there, right?

If you want this, $5,000 ahead, allegedly. So they wait for about 75% of our group to get there. They sit us down, right? Sit us down. We notice the left side of the table, a little wobble-dobble. Little wobbly. Yeah, fuck a little. That was a rocking boat.

That wasn't even like a, that wasn't like a, oh, it goes left-right if you lean. that table literally was going, it was like a, it was on a gyrating machine. It was like, it was made to put on us on a naval sea boat to where it always balances on the waves. It was that bad. It was a Titanic simulation table. It was like, you want to see what the Titanic ship looked like on a way down? This is it, right? It was ridiculous.

Yeah. And so we sit down at the table, right? Now, we just got done recording. It doesn't matter what we just got done doing. We're sitting down at a restaurant, private table, big miles. stone, right? Lady comes in, right? Waitress. Waitress comes in. She goes, hey, how's everybody doing? Good, man. We're so excited for this. We're starving, though, like, we haven't eaten. Do y'all do bread here? Yep, we do bread. First of all, we've been in this place for five minutes. Do you

all do bread? Five minutes in, yep, we do bread. Now, to anybody with half a brain cell, what does that mean? I want the yeast. Right. Bring me a yeast. You can even give me a yeast infection at this point. I want it, right? She goes, right? Put denim jeans on me with no draws on and have me on outside summer day. I want a yeast infection.

God. Then I go, hey, where's a celebratory thing? Can we order some drinks, right? She goes, let me bring out some water first. Then I can come get your drinks. Okay, that doesn't make sense. But all right, do your things. It's like, it's interesting.

How did ask for that? It's like, wow, what if I don't want water? So she brings out one thing of Saratoga water. Now, there's 18 people at this dinner, right? 18 people at this dinner, you bring one thing in Saratoga water. Were you born today? Right? Now, I'm not trying to be mean, but let's honestly think about this, right?

She pours three glasses of water. There's 16 people thirsty. We're all sitting there like this, right? She doesn't come back for another 12 minutes, right? My Cubs done, 16 other people don't have water, right? This is a bad look. Rough start. She comes back and I said, hey, we're going to go ahead and order alcoholic beverages.

She goes, okay, I can't do that yet. I can't bring them to you until everybody fully orders. And I said, that makes no sense, right? That's stupid. I'm looking at your bartender, and there's no one there. He's going there. So he can make our drinks. And I was like, I want drinks before anything else.

All right. I order my drinks. Everybody orders their drinks 30 minutes ago, but I guess how much bread we have at this table. zero bread at this table, right? She goes, she goes, is everybody here? So y'all can order your food and I can bring you everything? And I say, bring the bread. Where's the bread?

That's all we want. Everybody gets there. We're 45 minutes into this dinner now. I literally scream. I waver down. Hey, everybody's here. Can you take our order, please? She comes in.

Now, Robbie's on his hands and knees under the table, right? Robbie's on his hands and knees literally this table fixing the I've seen a screw like you little bit they were gonna fix it yeah

they said they were gonna fix the table never did didn't even bring us water didn't even want to fix it they're just like ah it's fun and so she's I go everybody's here she goes okay she starts

going into her speech I know she can see the table moving and there's somebody with a hard hat under the table working on the table as she's saying it I can't even focus on her

because I'm hearing I'm hearing that to my left because Robbie's being a construction unit. And she goes, oh, what's wrong with the table? Robbie goes, look it! She goes, ha-ho, anybody want water? I wanted water an hour ago. I'm not going to get into this full dinner. Oh, no, no, no, no.

You have to let me do some. Tag me in. Tag me in. Tag, go ahead. Okay, some minute details that most people. might not notice, there's a space heater plugged up by my feet. 30 minutes in, I thought I had second degree birds. I literally asked her, I said, am I allowed to unplug this?

I was like, this is getting ridiculous. I was like, my Achilles is becoming bacon. Like, this is bad. So I just turn it. She's like, no, we can't allow you to unplug it. I go, that's weird. That's a weird rule. I'm not cold.

In a private room. I don't want the heater on. Why can't I turn it off? I can't allow you to do that. Second thing, they have a TV in there for viewing purposes, right? I look out through the windows. I see the bar. They're watching NBA basketball.

It was a showtime game. I go, ooh, that'd be fun. Our group likes basketball. I pick up the remote, direct TV. It's not 2009. Right? Just get a smart TV and get some YouTube TV, whatever you want.

Click doesn't work. Click doesn't work. The only thing that worked was a Yule log. Like, this is not December 24th. We're not waiting for Jack Nicholas to come down. This is not, this isn't, why am I looking at a Yule lock? And then she goes, I'll try to get the game on. Ask us how much basketball we watched that night.

Not a play, not a singular play. And the literal best thing ever that came out of her mouth. We are not exaggerated. We have now been there for an hour. There's no bread in our table. No, no, there's not even, there's nothing nourishing on the table. So I take it upon myself again because I know that he has a short fuse when it comes to stuff like that. And he doesn't want to be seen in that light or whatever, but we're all thinking the same thing.

And I'm like, I will gladly ask. I said, ma'am, can we please get some bread? I said, like, y'all do bread, right? It's the steakhouse. You do bread. And she goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're, what does she keep saying? We're kitchen to table.

We're kitchen to table, complete the order. So not with bread. Now you're not. But, ma'am, but that's like, okay, can we put in appetizers now? You got to order everything, and it's all going to come out at once. We're kitchen to table. I go, I don't like this kitchen to table concept. There's nobody here.

I want bread with my bourbon and then my steak. She goes, oh, just put your order in and we'll get the bread. And I was like, you're not, you're not kidding. Yeah. So everything came out of once. The bread, the appetizers, when we got a ton, because we were hungry. Yeah. And the steaks, they all went, ton, ton, ton, pump, pump, don't.

Yeah, and I was like, this is stupid. We were there for an hour with no food. And then all of a sudden, and everything. And speaking of third degree burns, how's your hand? That's your hand. This guy brings, what was in that? It was, it was a, it doesn't matter, but it was some hot dish. It was like a pot of, like, soup or some shit, right?

And it was in a cast. iron pot and he's holding the tray it's on and the tray is big so I asked him because I was going to take the two pots off and clear up space I go hey bro is that hot he goes oh no shot I grab it and I go yeah I literally grabbed the pot burned my hand as soon as he because camp goes that hot he goes no it's not it's not cam grabs it goes no yeah it is I literally went look yeah it is and the guy chuckles yeah he goes he goes oh my bad bro and I went oh no yeah it is and live goes live goes oh he's just kidding he's just joking with you Cam goes no the fuck I'm not said no the fuck of my

shit I'm hot and then what about the woman that came into laughing and didn't say anything and you went oh that's cool right yeah and then this random waitress I have not seen Jews I'm not going to lie she might have been a host she comes in with 43 menus first of all we have everything after two hours of waiting

we have all the food why do you have menus in your hand she comes to the menu she goes literally she walked in she I think it was when I burned myself she comes I think I burned my, yeah, because Robbie was gone for all of it. Yeah. I burned myself. She sees the other guy laughing and she, like, wanted to hit a dopamine.

She literally walks into our private room. She's holding me in. She goes, and she's just looking at his smiling. First of all, it's over his shoulder. Over right here in my personal space, in my tickle here. And I was like, first of all, I was going to ignore her because maybe she's shaking on it. But it got to that point where you're still here. And so I look at her and she's just smiling.

I go, hey, oh, what the what the fuck are you doing here? He literally said that. He was like, he goes, hey, how are you doing? Yeah, awesome. Gave her knuckles, and she started turning around. He goes, what the f is this? What is happening? Needless to say.

Oh, my God. Oh, and then she took, and then she comes, and then our waitress comes around while we already have food. I don't know if y'all notice this. She comes around with a composition notebook, literally size of half a phone. And she's starting to take notes on the dinner. I don't know what she was doing. She was just taking notes on the dinner.

I had not see that. With the smallest composition notebook ever. And I said, oh, no. I was like, this is her first day on earth. I was probably giving first aid to my own fingers. So I missed that part. And so whatever, the whole dinner happens, we could go another hour on this. The craziest part that really cherry, cherry, cherry on top,

she hands us a $4,000 bill, which is fine because I was expecting to pay a lot, but for good service, right? That was the first time I gently feel like I got fucked. Like somebody literally just to me. Like somebody literally had me up like this and was just f***ing me. That's what it felt like at every Dallas. And so as I was getting pounded at this table, she brings me a $4,000 bill. I'm mad as hell because I'm...

And she goes, hey, I just want to let you know. Oh, my God. I would love if y'all filled out a survey, right? Because it will win my dad a bottle of wine. First of all, your dad. I don't know your dad. Second off, you just got $900 and tips. Go buy the bottle yourself.

Yeah, yeah. And she showed us the bottle literally $15 at Target. Yeah. Like, like, go. Literally, go. With the tip that you just crooked us for. You can buy a case of that wine, a whole psalit of that wine and take it to your father. Which is fine because she's a waitress and I know hospitality business is hard.

So I was like, okay, it's fine. Ask for your survey. Cool. She hands it to me because I'm the first one there and right. I'm the one responsible for, you know, this. So she brings me a QR code on her phone. Politely, I scan it with mine, right? I think that's it.

I'm thinking I'll never see her again. I'm fine with that. Never see her again. Got the QR code. Thank you. Please go back to Chili's. Like, don't work at a steakhouse. Yeah, ever.

She moves to my left. She hits K. Rob with the QR code. I go, oh, what the fuck? Then she goes to his left. Hit CJ with the QR code. When I tell you, this waitress went to 19 people with a F-R code. Oh, my God. Irresponsible.

It was unbelievable. Yeah. She watched us fill it out. No, it was crazy. Don't go to Dallas unless they fix that for us. Sorry, it was bad. $4,000 robbed. You literally, they had me like this.

Yeah, how'd they have you? Like, I belong to Sdk. And they got me. And they honestly. Like, I belong to. Honestly. They gave you a tramp stamp with one of them, like, the meat thing. Yeah, they went.

And that's it. I belong to SDK. Yeah. They put a cup. collar on me and everything. This episode is brought to you by Hymns. Hems can help you fold a fitted sheet, but it can help with your performance in the bedroom.

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Future products include compounded drug products which is not approved or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality prescription requirements, website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Natural parcel to depend on to the rest of the episode Speaking of nice dinners, Valentine's Day is coming up, huh? What a segue, yeah it is. Valentine's Day is coming up. Oh, now this is your like 30th valentines in a row. Yeah, like eight. Something like that.

I mean, has it lost its luster at this point? Oh, yes. Yes. First of all, I'm not, I am on the same yoke of you when it comes Valentine's Day. I celebrate it because it's there. It's built into the calendar. I can't control that. Right.

Now, do I necessarily believe in Valentine's Day? Absolutely not. Yeah. It is, it is fully formed, funded, regulated by the government to boost the economy. Yeah, 100%. The only thing Valentine's Day is good for is built-in. 100%. That's great.

That's nice. I'll take that. No rain checks. I can lock in. The 14th I'm getting some play. Yeah. Like, that's good. That's cool to know.

You start on February 1st. You go, hell, two weeks out. Yeah. Let me get my stamina back. At that point in your relationship where you got to start, you know, you know, You know you think it's your regular life. You got to start scheduling out your bones. Oh my God.

Right. So 14th, you know you're getting some play. We're playing tigers. It'll be quick. It'll be good. Oh, dude. I'm quick all the time. It'll be quick, but it'll be good.

There's no funny business. I can't guarantee good, but I can guarantee quick. I can that, amen. I won't take much of your day. I can guarantee quick. I can guarantee completion, but now the terms of good, bad, sorry, amazing, whatever that's the teacher. 100%.

And that's the thing with me, you know it'll be quick. Like sometimes I'll be like, hey, you want to, but I'm watching this show. I promise I won't make it past this scene. Yeah, we won't get to chapter two. You will not miss much. You will not miss more than five minutes. I go, I promise you, if you even touch my shoulder right now, I am bricked.

I go, you simply touch me. I go, give me four minutes. Yeah, just look at me long. And I'm honestly, I'll go, oh. But Valentine's Day, this is my first Valentine's Day with a significant other. It is. That counts. That doesn't.

That counts. So the other ones, I mean, I mean, my other... Terrible human beings. No, yeah, they were having six Valentine's Day. Yeah, they were. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Oh, don't be it. That hurts.

It's molded you to the man you are. Yeah, sure. But yes, this is very exciting. Yes. You get to spend Valentine's Day with Sarah. Yeah, it's exciting. You know where I'm taking her? Where?

Waffle House. That's sexual. That's for me of a nice southern bell of a woman like myself. I can get down and dirty at a Waffle House. Well, I don't know if you know, but Waffle House is doing this special thing for Valentine's Day. What are they doing? It's select locations.

They're turning into like a five-star restaurant. Okay, now you lost me. I go, now you're like, you think I'm going to want Joanne, who has four teeth and smokes two packs of marlbrose a day to make me a bribi on a griddle that's been making hash browns for 30 years? You think I want that on my plate

and then have to be forced to pay five-star prices? No, sir. I think it's more special than going to like a five-star steakhouse. Going to a specialized waffle house on Valentine's, Day is way more special than going to a special steakhouse because they're doing this for the first time ever. They have special locations where they're like changing the whole scenery of the Walfa House. They're adding table covers. They're adding decorations. Yeah, and hide the cigarette burns in the seats. Hide the sin that's on the ground. They're putting a little carpet down. You don't think that's

special? Like that's going like that's like clearing up a trap house and like you're renting it out. Yeah. And you're making a five-star Airbnb. No. That's like your local, like, town carnival comes in, and they're like, dude, we're bringing the new Starship 4,000 better than Six Flags. Let's just go there. We're not going to go to six. No. That is stupid. You don't think you're, you don't think Liv would appreciate that?

I get, no, no. Liv barely likes real Waffle House, which hurts my soul. If I, if I walked into a Waffle House with Olivia, she would literally turn me and go, you're kidding. And I'd go, hey, they said it's five stars. It's going to be a nice little, it's going to have white glove service. Yeah. What's your white gloves service? service. Chocolate milk?

No, they'll actually come by and check on you. That's true, but he's going to bring you orange juice. Yeah. And then, what do you think they're serving? What, let's play that game. What do you think they're going to serve to make it a five-star dinner? They'll at least have like a tequito. Yeah. Tiquot? What is it, 7-Eleven? Yeah. They're going to have roller dogs. No, this is not, that. That does not make sense. That is not okay. I would never do that. I feel like it will just be a cleaner day. Like it'll be a wall for house, like a clean

wall for house. Like they'll at least set up a couple fly traps. Yeah, a couple fly traps. Yeah, a couple of fly traps are mouse trap in the corner. Imagine ordering a sausage, egg, and cheese hash brown bowl in a three-piece suit. Imagine that. That's fresh to the nines, and I go, let me get your biscuits and gravy. Yes. That is unacceptable. That's fire to me.

No. That's sick. I don't know, but that's where I'm going to spend my Valentine's Day. I mean, it's a cool concept of all places. Wafa. I would think you really want to get nitty and gritty. I say you take your broad to Applebee's. You go to that Applebee's.

You know they're heavy. pours at that bar. Oh my god. You get three drinks at Applebee's. You're Uber and home. Can I say a hot take on Applebee's? And if you go past 8 p.m. on a weekday, half-price apps. You get those mozzarella cheese. You get that little spinach artichoke dip. Oh my God. I don't want to see. You're just getting by different flavors all throughout your mouth the whole night. Then that main entree comes out. Your tummy's already full from three drinks and splitting the apps. Now you split the entree. But it fills you to about 85%. There's about 15% left for regret and dessert. Yeah. You fill that last 15 up. You're farting. You're pooping. That's

sexist time might take a little, it might be a little delayed, but boy, my God, did you like that apple crumple pie? Hell, boys. I'm telling you, Apple, I mean, that might be where, that might be the place to go. I'm not going to lie, if you're not on government assistance, you shouldn't go to Appleby. Let's be, let's be honest. Like, that's a, that's too much. Does Appleby's steak? No, they definitely take wig. Can you tip off a wick card?

No, that's a genuine question. You guys are so far gone? WIC is not EBT. No, but WIC is government assistant. But can you, can you? That's not the same program. They get money. They spend their wig cards.

I thought, groceries only. I thought that was EBT. I thought that was food stamps. Right, probably goes, look at it. I had a friend that got Xbox Live with this wig.

Yeah. I don't know how he did. Really. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but they pass it down to the kids. They let them have fun. You can only buy limited stuff. I know somebody that used to sell their,

their food stamps in college. They'd sell that like it was a bundled deal. You remember back in the day they'd give you that book of coupons you'd sell for the school fundraiser? Yeah, yeah. It's going through, you go, holy shit. It's 20 bucks for WIC for 10 bucks cash. Dude, no, when I was in college, I was down bad.

You had WIC in college? No, but I applied for it. Food stamps. I applied for food stamps. Because I saw people getting crab legs off the food stamps. Crab. Like, I'm sorry. That's a deal if I've ever seen.

Hell, I'd buy it. If someone came up to me, I've always wondered, you know, you want to talk about infinite money glitch? The hardest part is finding the consumer, the buyer, right? You go to a Sams or a Costco. They sell gift cards. Think about what I'm about to say. They sell a $75 gift card to Texas Roadhouse for $49.99.

You buy that and then turn around and sell it, Infinite Money Glitch. I have $75 to Texas Roadhouse. And the best part is you can even swindle and be like, you know what, brother, I'm going to cut your money. your deal. This is 75 cold hard cash for those sweet cinnamon rolls. I'll give it to you for 70. Five bucks off. And then he pays you, you pocket 20. And then who's to tell me I'm not going to go back and buy every single gift card. I will spend a $10,000 bill at Sam's to get all the gift cards they own and then go on a hunt to sell all of them to come up two grand. This is like the lowest tier of money laundering. That is the lowest tier of money laundering, but it's a glitch. That is a real life

glitch. They have that. We don't advise. Go to your Sam's. No, don't advise. No, no, I'm not saying to resell it. You might not be able to. I don't know. But they sell gift cards for $75 to places for $50. It's like that's a part of being the member. I don't understand how that works. Because Sam's and Costco are both membership.

So that's a part of their like, they're like, oh, like thank you. Yeah. But it's like, it's like, no, no, no, thank you. You just opened up a new bank for me. I'm going to glitch this. I'm going to glitch this. Who would you sell that to? I would literally go to the restaurant, Peyton.

But hey, excuse me, sir. I can only help to see that you're walking in with your family of six. This is $75 gift card. I'll give you $65.99 right now. Right now, no cash and yes, I do have square. I said, yes, I do have square. If you put a square, you know, you're too far gone. That is, there's not a no soliciting sign out front of a Texas house.

I'm pretty sure there is. I don't think there is. There's like no cigarettes, no selling gift cards. I'll walk in with a barbara red and the gift cards. I'm like, this is America. Okay, that's hilarious. Oh, this episode is brought to you by Kuo. New Year, New Me, but for your.

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Yeah, tell me. Okay, so Ruby got sick this past weekend. RIPE. Don't make any jokes. She's not dead. It was close. Yeah, she almost got there. She got real sick, right?

So we take her into, I take her into the PetSmart. Drop her off, they go, it'll be a couple hours. I'm like, bet I'm going to go to the gym. You can just call this phone when you're done. I get the call. All right, I'm headed there. I go pick up, Ruby. She looks absolutely terrified.

And the, first off, the doctor did not have to say, this. The doctor hands me my dog and she's sitting there whimpering, which she does any time, even if she's going for like a spa day, just get her, like a haircut. He literally goes, oh yeah, she's pretty scared. I did have to stick my finger up there. So she's probably, and I went, now, why did you say that? I was like, why did you actually say that? You mean the scientific term for that? Yeah. Don't say you stuck your finger up there. Then I, no, that's too much. But anyway, I'm holding Ruby and he goes, here's your new prescriptions. She's on a prescription diet. Now, by the way, I literally have to buy dog food that you cannot purchase without the

prescription card. So it's basically a form of wick for Ruby. But I have a prescription. I have a prescription for food now. Yeah. So I get that food. I get the prescription treats. I get the prescription medicine. Yeah. And I go to the counter. Now this is where my day took an absolute 180. This is a pet smart at maybe 1.30 in the afternoon. No one's in that. Okay. No one's off work. There is a, I'm going to say she was off the top, maybe 73 years old. Okay? 73 year old woman working the only register out of the five that are open. I don't believe in that, by the way. What?

If you're that old, you shouldn't be working in customer service. And this is exactly why. Your belief is exactly right. Yeah. I walk up. There's no one in this pet smart. I walk up holding a dog and a handful of shit. Okay.

I set it on the conveyor belt. The conveyor belt's automated. That starts moving right towards her. She literally, I'm not exaggerating. She's like this. She's out loud, watching a reel on her phone. Out loud. And she literally goes, just give me one second.

No, and that's not how it works. And you're better than me, because you would have been like, oh, no shot, ma'am. And I literally just went, all right. You're like, how's it going? I'll give you a second. She completes the video. She's watching a video. It completes.

She goes, right up. Okay. Puts the phone down. I cannot stress to you how incredible this moment was. She then takes her hand out of a bag of chips. And like any normal human may be. ruffles them off, maybe a little napkin. This old lady literally sucks all five fingers on her right hand.

And she doesn't suck the fingertip. She is going two digits deep each finger. She goes, oh, right there. One second, sorry about that. Oh, that deep each one. All five fingers. I literally went. And then she goes, she goes,

how are you doing today? And I was like, I'm weird now, but I'm good. She's like, yeah, great day outside, huh? And I was like, yeah. She looks at Ruby. Mind you, my dog has a pink collar on. A pink collar with a bow, and her name is Ruby. She goes, oh, look at that little guy.

She goes, look at that little guy. And I immediately, I've now had enough. And I go, oh, yeah, she's tired. She's really, you know, she had a long appointment. She's going to be all right, though. She's going to be all right. She goes, oh, that's a cute little boy. And she does not bunch.

Like, A woman, are you a lot? She literally goes, oh, he's so cute. And then she's scanning all the stuff. She goes, you got a phone number? And I go, yes, ma'am. She goes, what is it? So it's in my wife's number. So I just start with the Oklahoma City.

I go 405. She goes, ho-ho! Oklahoma. And I went, yeah. Like thinking she's going to say something, she just goes, Oklahoma. What's the rest of the number? Just weird interaction.

So she puts the number in, and then she finally, the name pops up. She goes, Ruby. Oh, Ruby, I've been calling you a boy. That must be, you must be a little girl, right? Don't look too much like a girl, but you must be a little girl. She's making fun of my dog. And then the cherry on top, I swear to God, right hand to the Bible. She goes, what was she in here for?

I go, she was real sick. She was real sick. She goes, oh, it's okay. He's going to be all right. Y'all should go home and take a nap because you both look tired. She said that. She said that to me. You do look tired.

I am tired, but I'm like, who is this woman? This woman is unbelievable. That's so, okay, dude, I feel so bad she's an old lady. I mean, she's just a, she's a psychopath. She's not, no, she's crazy. She's absolutely crazy to be in customer service. No, whoever hired, I think that's a hiring problem. Yeah, HR needs to fire the hiring manager of that and then fire her.

That's what I'm saying. I don't think old people should be in customer service. They are a liability. They are. And there's a lot of underlying racism. Oh, yeah. There just is. Oh yeah.

And you can't get around it, you can't deny it. When you are 70 plus, now there's a lot. Now, there's obviously some good apples. There's good apples. There's the beautiful Granny Smith's, pun intended, Granny Smith. Perfect apples. They're so nice. They make you a pot roast right there.

Make you a pot roast. It's rare, though. Very rare. Because I went to, because I was looking at jewelry, right, for Sarah, and I was going around, there was an older white lady there, and you could tell. And I was in there not looking like I could afford jewelry. You know what I'm? Look at me now.

Like, you know what I mean? She goes, you know this isn't shoe locker, right? She goes up in shoe locker No, but this ain't the place So you buy them Michael Jordan You're just like But definitely it was like the same level Of like underlying racism

She was like Because you know when you're looking at jewelry Or looking at something expensive I asked for the price on it And she told me and normally they just tell you the price And be like but if you know There's alternatives if that's too much Or if you want to go more

They give you both sides She was like Yeah it's this much But don't worry We do layaway I said I said I haven't ever done that

but appreciate it she goes I'm just letting you know there's payment plan options you got credit karma what's that thing called clara clara clara clara clara

you got clara and I said I was slappy I was spitting your face right now don't assume that because we got some of the less expensive in this over there clorna for a diamond that should be legal in itself that is wild

no I would definitely do that Oh, it's great, but I'm saying the fact, no, I'm saying her, like, saying that up front should be illegal. She goes, oh, don't worry, we have payment plans. Yeah. Seriously, I can, trust me, I can tell you're going to want to put Susie's our financing officer in the back. She'll get you a good plan. She's like, what's credit score? About seven?

Yeah. You go, 700, no, seven. Seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Oh, my God. Okay. Last thing on old people. Yeah.

I cannot make this. I have physical evidence for this one. Okay. We're at a waterburger. It's me, Lolly, and my wife. and my son. We're eating, where it's his first water burger trip, he's eating a little grilled cheese, everything's great. I look up at the soda machine, there's a granny with toilet paper hanging out of her. Okay? Excuse me? Yes, sir. You looked up at, looked up at the

soda machine, just my eyes are gazing in the restaurant like so, make sure no one's gonna try to come in and do some funny business. Yeah. She has a man should and I stare at the Diet Coke and I see an elder lady with enough toilet paper to clean something up hanging from her pants. See, that's why I feel so bad. I feel so bad for old people. I feel, I felt bad too, and this is how bad I felt. I go, oh my God, you know me, comedic, little humor bone, right? I go, oh my God, she's got toilet paper hanging.

Because I don't know if she's one of the elderly who can't hear a thing, or she's got a supersonic eagle hearing. Yeah. So I'm very quiet. I'm like, this grandma has toilet paper hanging from her butt. And the whole family turns and looks, and I'm like, oh my God. Lives Mom goes, we need to tell her, we need to go and help her. And I was like, okay, I'll do it.

I gotta fill my drink anyway. So first off, CJ, you can put this on the screen. No, I can't. There's no face in it. There's no face in it. That's how much you had hanging, right? No, that's a tail. That is a hefty. No, she's a, Kim, that's not a toilet paper. She's like, furry. Oh, no, no, no, no. It was so much in the way it was we thought it was a part of her garment. I was like, that might be like a lace tail situation. No, that looks like a tail. She's a freaky grandma. Yeah, give her my number. Right? I mean, it's a lot. Oh, a furry granny? Oh, man. Talk about how to turn my wheels. Oh, man. Oh, take your dinners out and put on your

Paulus. Come on now. You make me howl at the moon. Oh man dude. I'm always been into a little weird you know what I mean? Ooh, put a collar on you. Mm-hmm. Well, let me take my pet for a walk. Mm-hmm. You're the fox. All right. And I'm the buddy. Come catch this hair. Oh, I want you to huff and puff and blow me down. She goes, all right. She goes, how some pork chops doing? Oh, man, dude, yeah. Oh, whoa, oh, gross. Yeah, man.

Oh, my God. Right on the edge of senile. So I like them. She goes, oh, God, that was good. Who are you? No. We have to say this. Oh, no.

I haven't been touched like that since the 80s. She finally opens her eyes. She goes, oh, God. How'd you get in here? Nope, nope. It's a comedy podcast. It is a comedy podcast. If you can't take a joke,

This isn't the show for you. But, um, I have, I didn't even say my thing with the granny. There's more there? I said I approached her. Yeah. Oh, you talked to her.

You went to Ferry Lane. He said, take your dentures out and put a claw on me or a collar. Whatever you said. Yeah, my bad. So I go to fill my drink and I'm going to be this old grandma's night in shining armor. I go, excuse me, ma'am, immediate jump. Yeah. And I went, oh, sorry, didn't mean to start you.

I lean in because it's sensitive information. Yeah. So sweet of you. So sweet of you. What'd you say? It's true. They just can't help. Like whatever comes to their mind, they're going to say it. I literally lean in. I go, ma'am, I just wanted to let you know, I think there's some toilet paper on your back in from the restroom. She goes, oh, who, your breath. She literally said that because I was just smashing a double cheeseburger with onions on it. I swear on everything. She goes, oh, wow, your breath. And I go, my breath, you toilet paper. I go, you got.

A toilet paper tail. She wasn't going down. She said, oh, if you're making fun to me, I'm making fun of you. She went, ooh, your breath. Literally just like that. So soft, still grandma boys. She went, oh, your breath.

And I went, oh, well, I was like, you got toilet paper. I said, there's toilet paper on your ass. And then she went, oh no. Grabbs it, looks at it. No, don't do that. And then goes, oh, thank you, dear. throws it away, walks out.

She had, she just had to insult my breath. That's hilarious. They can't, they can't, they can't, that they can't, like, fight those You lose that sense of That brain membrane wall, that mitochondria, it's gone. I'm worried about you when you get that age because you're already bad.

You might have to just keep me inside. You might have to lock me in the house. You'd be like, I wonder what that pearls look. I go, go, gosh, that's a strange looking like that class. Oh, that's a strange build on that class. I go, hell, I bet she'd jump about 712 back in the old 10,000. Oh, dude. I love old people though.

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expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and everything in between it's time to turn those what is in the with Shopify today sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at Shopify.com slash ySk go to shopify dot com slash YSk that Shopify dot com slash YSk now on to the rest of the episode I want to go back to relationships they asked this question on the Joe Budden podcast and I want to ask it to you. Oh, God. Would you spend 30 days in the worst prison on the planet Earth to prevent your wife from doing one year in that same prison?

Off rip? I have to. Yes. No, you're triven. No, I'm the provider. I'm the tear taker. I'm the caretaker. I'm the front line defense from my beautiful wife.

See, my first question, what that b-do? Just the hypothetical. Yeah, but if you're in prison, you did something to get there. And so I'm taking this 30 days for you. No, right here. Back room. She's in the back room. No, 30 days in the worst prison on earth.

On earth! You have, you're the man, you have to. Have you seen my ass? It's nice, I'd be a top commodity. They'd be, oh my God, they'd run through commissary to get you. We go, oh, honey, I got all the honey buns you want, boy, come here. Yeah, dude. No, no.

Oh, God. Because, okay, but you got to say your wife did something to get that one year. You're just taking the 30 days to prevent her from doing that year. Now, that changes the question. Now, if she's convicted. Yeah. Right. Through the due process.

You got to sit down. Yeah, I mean, the Justice Department. If they said you earned a year in that prison, now I don't know. I might just cough up a lot for a good lawyer. Yeah. Might try to get you down to six months. But if it's just a would you rather,

your wife's got to do a year, you got to do 30, give me 30. I don't care what it is. I don't want to go to jail. Like you got put in that position. You're a bad man. Why? If it is,

if it's like a random hitman stuff, like Squid game, they just pop up and they go, we're taking you or your wife right now to the worst prison in the world. Yes. If you go, it's 30 days, if she goes, it's a year.

You coming? First of all You're both innocent You're walking down time You just left the dinner I'd look at her and be like Remember that one time You wouldn't rub my back

Like I got you Take her I'd be like Areva Durchy See you back in the year Like that's it Like I'm not doing it And that doesn't make me selfish

That does not make me selfish That's kind of makes you selfish How? Okay, okay Let me have very important question Yeah Are you married I think if you're married

You are obligated I could be married By the divine word You if you're in The divine word said nothing, thou shalt go to prison for yow. No, did not say that. It says we are now one, and if you want to be,

take care of yourself, but not the other person you are conjoined with, that's self. If we're one, you come to jail with me. I'm not, we're one. You're not going. What are you talking about who are one? Yeah, how we want, and I'm the only one going. You crazy? Could you imagine there's a literal serial killer as your bunk partner?

Yeah. And they just hear this, you go, oh, no, right, right, little to left. Oh, that's a spot. That's a spot. Get it girl. Can you get my, can you get my soft spot up top? And there's a murderer above you. Yeah, no.

I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I have to, bro. That's not a good, that's not being a good man. It's not macho man. I'm sorry. I love you, Pete. Let me call you out, though. Okay, but what points do I gain when I come out? I want you to think. I'm not getting a parade. I'm not. You probably won't even give me a balloon. It's a month. It's one month. It's one month. If your wife does a year, she's out of there.

No, no, I believe in her. I don't. I go, oh, Sarah to death. She's gone. I go, what she's got to do? Let me bump. Let me set for you in the jail yard. They go, shut up. And now she's getting her beat. No, she's a good people person. She's a good server. She can play piano.

She can sing. She's funny. Was she a traveling circus? This is the worst prison in the world. You just said she can play piano and sing like she's a cover band on Carnival Cruise. That could get you somewhere in the worst prison ever. They need some entertainment. Oh, that singer, yeah.

You my bucks come here. And now she's in a different cell. Well, at least other people. For her life for a year. Well, at least other people get to experience the greatness that I have. Dog, you won't even go through a season. change. One month, she's going to see Christmas, spring break,

Fourth of July, and everything in between. No one asked you to get locked up. And I'm not taking that 30 days for you. That is wild. I'm sorry, and that doesn't make me a bad person. That makes me. I think it does. Now, hear me out. Boyfriend and girlfriend, there's no strings attached. I could be 60 years into a

marriage with eight kids. I'm not going. Oh, you're terrible, man. No, sir. I'm taking care of the kids. If, no, I'm a... Let the mom take you. You okay. Even For logistics, if you say that, you are now taking care of the kids and doing everything for a whole year. Yes. If you're gone and my booty intact. And my buddy intact.

Give me my buddy. My booty intact. Because, Cam, if we're being honest, I'm going to jail. I'm giving my shit before they ask. I'd be like, I know what you want. You go, you know what? You look like you'll do it nice. You go, you look like you treat me good.

Come here. I'm yours. I got hell, you got 28 days. Thank God it's February. Here we go. You cannot. just subdue yourself, like her to that rather. It's one month.

I don't care. Everything you just said, think of the opposite. If she goes, you got to hold the fort down at home regular life for a month. I got it. Or no, for a year. I got it. If you go, she does it dolo for a month. You're going to subject sweet Sarah to a, I think we are wildly overestimating the worst prison in the world.

I will drive her there. It is going. I will drive her there. And I'll be like, oh, babe, what's your face? favorite song. You want some Taylor Swift on the way there. You go love you, baby. It'll be $20 on the books tomorrow. Go have it. Get in there. You go do good. Do good. Proud of you. Oh, dude. I'm not doing it. You're tripping. I'm not doing. Maybe I'm not in love. Maybe that's what we're figured out. I think you're not in a deep enough love. Or maybe I just think that people. It could be, I would board it on. This might be a little, this might be a little Fugazi. I would borderline say if it was a little Fugazi. I would borderline say if I'd still go.

You're down bad. Now, that might be... I mean, I think it's a lack of self-respect. I think that's what we're turning. I go, fuck it. Make it too, Warden. I go, I don't ever want her seat in this place, sir. I walk and I go, what's up, fellas?

Just get, slept. I wake up, I'm sore, bleeding. Oh, God. I just wanted to, they said that on the Joe Button podcast, and it's such a good question. I went to get your marriage, so I wanted to know. I have to. As a married man, I think from a...

From a friend's perspective, you are allowed and warranted to say no and not have the world coming to your tree. You're married, I think you have to. It could be the wedding day. I'm not going. You go, oh, no, hell, no. Take this.

You go, I'll be good at all the hell, I'll senior year. Yeah, senior year. I'm not going to do nothing. I'm not going to cheat or nothing, but I'll be here. I have a spicy question. I like that. I have a spicy question for you. Talk to me, Daddy.

Now, I'm currently watching the show called Homeland, right? It's a CIA show. It's on Netflix. It's about agents, stuff like that. Asians? No, no. Homeland, it's not Asians. Agents.

Like the night agent. Peter, whatever's name is. Whatever the hell. that guy. Pierce Scully. Yeah, whatever. So, good show. There's a, there's a, uh, a U.S. Marine that goes missing for eight years. He's presumed dead. His wife

remarries. No, no, no, doesn't remarry. Sorry, has a fling with his best friend. All these they are, they are, they are, they are they're playing turtles, tigers and everything in between. Oh my God. For years the military goes in, does a rescue

mission. That guy's alive. They bring him back. He finds out. So, welcome to the question. Oh my God. You get whatever. Say it doesn't have to be for the military. Say we get a podcasting deal for whatever reason. Yeah. We have to go to Taiwan for two years.

Yeah. And no one's allowed to come with us. It's you and me. It's a two-man operation. That sounds awesome. Whatever. God, it sounds great. But we can't, no one can come.

Okay. When you come back and Sarah is happily, deeply, deeply invested into a different relationship. How does that make you feel? How does that make you feel? So everybody is presumed that I'm deceased. There's not an announcement that, oh, Payton's alive. No. It was, it was, Peyton and Cam went missing.

And I'm still missing, but I'm actually back. Yes. No, she chose. I'm terrorizing. No, no, no, my whole life mission. I'm dead. I'm never going to go to a grocery store, a bank, nothing. I am a ghost in your life now that is going to terrorize you.

Every day flicking lights, pissing on your toilet seat. So you're mad that she, So there's been a statement saying that we are presumably dead. Yes, because you gave up. So they gave up hope. Yeah, if you gave up hope on me, that's so disrespectful. So what's the, what's the tenure of hope? You see the body.

Huh? You got to see the body. Before you move on, see the body. You got to look at me. You got to be over the casket. What? You look like this, you know. Yeah, you got to lay me down before you move on.

But that's the thing, it's missing. It's not we were killed right here. It's where they're gone. We don't know what. Find it. Find it. A hundred percent. Because I just watched a documentary about this girl

and then she got taken by the guy and went to the woods, just this little girl, but she got taken the family. Never gave up hope. The whole town did. The family didn't guess what they found her. I was that little girl. I was that little girl.

Yeah, that's... See, I actually, no matter what this says about me and me being a man, I'm not that man. No, I know, because you want to watch them. You'll be like this. Stop, I go, damn hell. That's a...

That dude looks deep. Yeah, you're like, I didn't think about hitting it from there. I go, the f***, I never got that. I go, it was always mission. I heard, mission. But no, no, it's the best. I would be, it would hurt my soul. So the two years is up, three years however long.

And then we get on a plane, get on a black plane. We get on a plane back. And then we walk up to our houses in some incognito mode and we see that. My initial heart shattered, destroyed. I am, I am broken. But then I quickly realized she thought I was dead. Now, if I find out who's two months after and you're hooking up on, on hinge and shit, yeah, we got a problem. If you held on to hope for at least a calendar year, one revolution.

I genuinely believe this. If I go missing from my partner, I would think the only appropriate thing to do is move on when you see my body. You never give up hope, especially if we're married till death do us part. You don't know I'm dead. I'm just missing. That's all missing posters go up. So death, you got to see the death. You got to see me die for you to move on.

It goes till death, do a part, not till missing does us part. Yeah. Okay, now the spiciest part. Yeah. Reverse the rolls. See you. I'm not, who am I, Christopher Columbus? I'm not going searching.

What are you talking about? I don't even own a magnifying glass. You think I'm an investigator. You should have tried on? Oh. Oh my God. Oh my God. The double standard. I love it. Oh, at least I'm honest. See, a lot of people lie about theirs. I'm honest. Now, here's the real question. How long are you holding on to hope?

Oh, three weeks. Isn't the first 48 before a case gets solved? I gave you an extra 100 hours. Nor start. I don't know. I can't tell you how to get out, but find it. I don't know. At least I'm honest, right? This is it three weeks. Yeah. So, okay. Now, final question. She comes back. She sees you with the new woman. She gets angry and she tries to take it out on you.

What's your response? What do you want me to do? Oh, my God. You didn't call. Oh, the funny thing is, Sarah's going to get so many DMs being like, I think you should really watch today's episode. I think you should run for the hills, sweetie. You seem too sweet.

He's terrible hell. He said he'd leave you. Oh, man, that's so funny. That was funny. This episode is brought to you by Cheers. Obviously, guys, there are more negative effects from alcohol than just dehydration. And otherwise, how could alcohol be hard on your brain and liver? It has a depressant effect on specific receptors in your brain and it is toxic on your liver.

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higher order by using code YSK at Cheershealth.com. Just head to cheershealth.com and use code YSK for 20% off. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please, please, please, please support the podcast in our show and tell them that we sent you.

Now on to the rest of the episode. Now it's time for people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture Payne Camp. Pop culture, pay day camp. It's been a while since a little pop It's been a little minute, man.

This is the pop culture. Pop culture. Pop culture. Oh, me. Pop culture. Special edition. Black History Month because it's Pop Culture Kitchen and it's Pop Culture Chicken and it's Whoa.

No, no, it's crazy. See, there it gets a point. There gets a point. There gets a point. I said it's the Pop Culture Kitchen. We're serving Pop Culture Chicken. Why can't we do something else? Why can't we serve something else?

Like green bean cassero. Yeah, no one likes casseroles and tuna salad. That's why. Fried chicken is incredible. Sarah likes. Sarah likes flavored air. She likes sardines. She goes, let's take this seaweed and wrap it up and rice.

Now, I genuinely... No, it sounds crazy, but that is her favorite today. I said, thank you. Thank you. My God, I was going to say, that's actually what she eats every day. If it fits, it fits. She also eats sardines every day, but she knows not to eat them if I'm in the house.

Yeah, that is. I mean, that's a you feed to a dog. Yeah. You feed sardines of a bastard hound. Like a psalting. Right before a little pheasant hunting. You open that can of sardines. You go, uh-huh.

Come here, Bruce. Or you throw into an otter's mouth. Otters are adorable. Did you know orders? I would adopt an otter if I can. Dude, my thing on otters? The beautiful, they're so cute. No, I got ruined for me.

Otters got ruined for me. Why? I didn't know they weren't like rubber. They have fur. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. That's gross.

No, it's not. It's cute. It stays laid down, but you go up the top of their back and it turns into a little scale. No, because I've scales. You see that little tail on them too? Oh my God, otters, they're so cute. No, but listen to me. Like, the whole cute.

of otters is gone for me. Why? Because I always thought otters were this blubbery being where you could seal. There's difference. Yes. Seals are the side of that couch. A seal can go pound for pound with you and it's an inch for inch now. That's an impressive seal. Because I know what I got. I know that seal gets a lot of whale. I know the good Lord blessed me, but I don't know if Poseidon blessed him. Wait, what's the difference between seals and otters? Seals are big as made of tires, but an otter is like a cute...

Imagine like, imagine Ruby if she got a drop fade and her ears were gone and then she was in the water 24. No, but like I'm trying to explain to scientifically. What's the difference we're going to seal and an otter? That's like, what's the difference between a giraffe and a rhino? Like there's so many... They look the exact same. Seals and otters? Or am I thinking of seal lions?

Sea lions is what you're thinking of. And otter's about yay big. Little f***. Blubbergum. but they got nice brown fur. It's a little f*** got shot with that disease in Sutopia. No, what's the big thing that you throw to its mouth? That's a seal. Those things have fur.

Those have blubber. Seal lions. Have fur. Seals have fur. Yeah, seals. Not honors. Otters always had fur. What's the difference between a seal and a seal lion?

It's a seal and a sea lion, and I'm not 100% sure. So it depends on where you put the L. If there's an L or not a no. A seal, not to be confused with the singer, but a seal is a big blubbery beast. And the sea lion has fur. I think you're speaking on the sea lion that has that incognito fur. So are sea lions predatory and seals are adventory?

Victimatory? No, seals will fuck you. Seals will absolutely eat you. So seals will attack. I believe so. But I thought sea lions attack because they're named after the predatory creature on planet. Yeah, but sea lions are sellouts. You give them enough food.

They'll go to your circus. They'll just live. there. They don't even want to be out in the wild. So seals, you can make tricks out of. Seals, they go, oh, and sea lions go, I think the sea lions are the one to go, so which one do you want to have as a pet? I think a sea lion. So, but seals are more attacking, even though they have a less vicious name. Are seals and sea lions the same thing? And we're going down a rabbit hole. So are seals and seal lies and can they, can they not? Are they family or not? I think if they make a seal lion or they make an honor. Oh, they make an honor.

Oh, they're making honor Fag culture I've been watching this show Oh God Oh, please say it's a very popular show Oh, I know It's got to be like one of three And I'm either currently watching it

Or I've completed it I've completed this show It's called his and hers Yes sir If you've seen it Yes sir Okay, this is like the number one show On Netflix

Or like number three I don't know it is that It's around top five Fire right One of my favorite actors in it Who's the John Berthaw Donberthaw doesn't take a f*** That oh he goes

In Fury Yeah, I don't know. He goes, huh, Walter or whatever. He's got back in the tank. But one of my favorite actors of all time. So good. This show, spoiler alert, spoiler alert,

Boy, spoiler alert, boy, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, Spoiler alert, spois, spoiler alert. You can take a walkout, you can take a walk out. So basically the show is about this, No, Robbie, you gotta leave, you can't do that. So look, this show is about this cop in like the neck of the woods and Georgia. Yeah, the boonies.

Right, it's a small town in Georgia, right? Everybody knows everybody. Right? His wife, Delatiga. No, no, Delonaga is the city. No, no, I know the town's called Deloniga. And now the wife is his very popular news anchor. Yeah, pretty.

Right? They separated, they lost a child, and basically there's a dead body. in this city and Delonica and the dead body we all know her yes sir but we all know her

for different reasons yes sir now the whole show is finding out who did this in this small town of Delondaga right

now can I rate this show 1 through 10 I'm going 8.5 on a good day you catch me right after some animal crackers and some chocolate I'm giving it a 9

okay this is my thing the whole season up to the last episode, 8.2. Last episode, two out of ten. Two out of ten. And this is where the spoilers come along, right? You are, you're out of your marvelous. That, no, they ruined that show. No, sir. No, sir. They tried to do too much hanky-panky with that show. They did a lot of hanky-panky, but they did not ruin it. And there's nowhere. There's, there's not a critic on the world that is giving that a two out of ten last episode. Right here, my review 100. You go, Peyton Hardin's movie watching. So look, if you don't know, spoiler alert,

the cop and the news anchor wife, they divorced because they lost a child. A lot of things, you know, they had to separate. I mean, I mean, they lost the child and the wife just dipped. She didn't tell anyone she dipped to actual Atlanta and was there for a year. She didn't tell her when she just left. And now, home boy, the cop started fucking the dead girl.

Yes. Not while she was dead. That's a different crime. See, they were fully alive. They were fully alive and it happened to be the day that she died. About 15 minutes before, about five minutes.

So he didn't put his, he put his juices on her. Yep. He dipped. She got stabbed. Yeah. Right. Merked.

So we're all thinking that he did it the whole time. Did he do it? Or did the news anchor wife do it because we find out that she was watching it happen? She came back to Delondaga and just so happened to pull up and was watching his, her, watching her husband going to Poundown Town in the back of her. F-250 in the woods, right? Oh my God.

So this whole time we're thinking, was it the news anchor? Was it the cop? It's got to be one of them. In the last episode, we come to find out that the wife and the dead girl and the cop's sister and then some other bribes they went to school with were all childhood friends. Yes, sir. They ought to have a big falling out because there was, I mean, I mean, this isn't a joke. Some really nasty stuff happened in the woods one time.

Yes. I don't even want to say it. I can't watch that kind of shit. It was really hard for it. That shit shows. But so that happened, right? And we're, we find out that the bigger girl, the bigger girl that got picked on by the friend group the whole time drinking pee. Picked on.

We find out that she lost a bunch of weight and it's now the news anchor. It's in Atlanta. In Atlanta that the wife was having beef with. But we didn't know was her because she changed her name and took Ozimic. Yeah. Like a lot happened, right? She got on Mujarno, changed the name. got a nice strapping husband, and she said, hey, I'm, what's her name?

And then we come to find out, oh my God, she's the one that killed this lady in the woods. And the other two friends throughout the show. Everybody in the friend group is getting murked. Everyone's getting dropped off at old Death Hades Lane. Right. So we have this whole big climax at the last episode. Yes, sir. She gets suckered into going into the cabin in the woods.

The cabin in the woods of the ex-big girl news anchor girl. Yeah, ex-big girl, current small girl. That we think is the killer, right? They're having this whole punch-out scene, fighting scene, fighting scene. And this is, I was like, okay, this is a good ending. We find out this bullied girl is the killer. Now we're having this big fight scene. Right?

This is where the show lost me. The detective pulls up through the outside the glass, perfect timing, and just caps ex-big girl. Yes, sir. Through the glass. Yes, sir. What bullet was that? where the whole glass doesn't shatter

how do you shoot a glass and there's only a bullet hole this big is she a sniper I think I think that's realistic with a handgun 10 feet away I think that's happened before where I think that's happened before

if the glass is maybe thick enough you gotta think that bullet's going quick as a son of a bitch she's from here to this camera that's true and that whole glass and shattering is a perfect bullet hole right through the thimpy might be some thick glass on that cabin wood

Yeah, I bet so. I bet so. But that's not even the part that pissed me off the most about that part. What happened? He got there so quick. If you think about

they were fighting when he got in the truck to go there, he was there two minutes later. It was easily a 14-mile drive. It was so bad. It's like, did you drive a rocket ship? And your sister,

you just picked up your sister out the bathtub that just got merged. Oh my God, yeah. Morn! Cry a bit! But no, no, no. It was the little girl.

Where was she at? Yeah, great point. Did she stay at school for 48 hours? where the hell is she? How has no one got a phone call about the little girl? Now, what do you think about the actual ending? So then there was a double twist.

A double twist. A double plot in the Loddaugia. We find out it wasn't ex-big girl that got capped. It was ex-big girl, current, small girl. It was news anchors mommy because they were going through tapes. She was going through tapes because whenever news anchor girl left, whenever the wife left after the baby died, all she had to remember her daughter was these VHS tapes from high.

school and then we find out what actually happened in the woods to that friend group it actually happened to her daughter she went on this psychotic rampage and she was like okay i'm gonna murk every single person in this friend group yep this sick and she was faking having dementia the whole time she was walking down the street but naked and her nightgown and stuff like that and cops were like oh miss whatever here let me take you back home again so it was it was a perfect cover up and and okay and this is so the show already lost me with the bullet hole I was like no way. Then when they showed the killing scene from the woods, the initial killing, she turned

into venom. Oh my gosh, she was Hugh Jackman. You see how quick she climbed up this show? And I was like, no, fuck. And I was like, no, f***ing way. I was like, this is a $30 million show. And that's what we get. That's what we get.

That, now that part is funny. But if you, if you're really paying attention and you peeped, you should have known it's not news anchor girl. the whole time. You never should have went down that path. They played it up to you that. No, yeah, obviously I knew there was going to be a twist. She was still in Atlanta when the friends were getting killed, so it can't be her. No, I'm fine. They want you to think that. I'm fine with that. That's why I give more respect. No, no. I knew there was going to be twist. I knew it was probably going to be the big girl, right? But it wasn't the big girl. But the initial twist was the big girl. And I would have been fine with that being the big girl. This 80-year-old woman is not climbing up the

hood of that car like that. And where was she just chilling in the woods like that? Yeah. We should be her foot, there's thorns and pouring rain. And then she becomes into Ted Bundy. And she's just like a master manipulator murderer who like you can just, there's no fingerprints. There's no nothing.

Like there's no, she just get away with everything. Her footprint. Like, I mean, I mean the dumbest thing ever. She was barefoot. She's barefoot on a dirt road in the water. Give her some credit, man. I don't know. No, no, no, no.

That's fine. Right. That's fine. She can't. She's not that athletic. She's definitely not. She's getting up the stairs with ease and just, like, stronger than everybody. Yeah.

Like, it doesn't make sense. And they tried to play it off as like there was no, there was no, so of a recurring theme was there was no struggle in any of these deaths. So it's like it's someone that they know. That's why they keep painting it up to be as either John Berthaw or it was the wife, you know, someone they knew. But really is an old lady. So you probably, your garden's going to be down when your friends, your high school friend's mom pulls up. But yeah, she was turning into like some. on James, your 23 athletic.

Yeah. She's like, Chase down Equidola blocking. Like, you know. Blocked by James! And the thing is, it's like,

I feel like this show tried too hard to make people go, oh, wow. Like that initial twist of it being the big girl, that's fine, but we just work it up bigger.

And then you just, I think that's just the, the way out to make this like, oh, wow, like make everybody talk about it. Which it worked, but it's like, that's too much.

Would you have liked it better, alternate ending idea for you? Would you have liked it better if the big girl now turns small, girl is actually the killer. But then in that final scene in the cabin, she's about to kill her daughter, and the mom came and saved instead of the cop.

Let's say the mom knew the whole time, but she was just staying in her place. Or maybe she found out at the very end, she finally saw that tape. I don't know. I haven't thought about it. I wasn't mad with it. I do agree on some of your grievances, but I liked it. I am a fan of a double plot twist. I've learned that through my years of watching shows or movies.

One plot twist is great. But as you said, two, get you talking about it. But two, two is good if it works. I don't like a force two. I feel like this is a forced tour. And, and you know what I really don't like the end it off. That cop's going to jail. John Berthal is going to prison.

The fact that he had no repercussions at the end of that show, he's just sitting down talking. You're going to jail. You tampered with evidence. Yeah, you've deleted a phone. Multiple times. You're going to jail. Yeah. And we're testing you now.

Yeah, 100%. Why was your sire son? Your son is in her. You have destroyed the phone. You rescinded the DNA results. You have... You swab the little girl's mouth. You killed the guy.

You killed the husband of the small girl or the girl. I forgot which one was. I think it was the husband that was holding the... Her boyfriend or something like that. You killed... You murdered someone. Did he murder him? In the cabin when he shot.

Oh, yeah. Or no, no, that was the other girl. No, no, no. He... No, didn't he murder the... Uh-uh, I don't think so. What happened to the girl? What girl?

The big girl turned small. She got... shot by the detective outside through the window glass. So what happened to the boyfriend? I think he just got locked up in that cage. Yeah. Okay, never mind, no, he's definitely going to jail though. No, he's going to jail and he's going to jail, losing his license, losing everything. You're not incredible. And I was like, how the hell, or is he just, like, you get detained at least. Like, there's a dead woman in your house and you have hurt blood all over you. You've been sneaky this whole time. Yeah, you're getting questioned. Like, bare minimum. You're going to the station,

a recording camera's getting clicked, and you're being questioned. Yeah, I just, I just, I just, I just, just didn't like the ending of that show. I mean, it was an entertaining show. I like it. Overall, 8 out of 10. Eight out of 10 for me. Overall, great watch. You should watch it. Intertaining show, but we'll, uh, we'll, uh, we'll end it there. Beautiful. And for the first time in a while, and we brought it back in Black History Month. That was Pop culture, Paying in a Camp. Pop culture, Paying It Camp. Wow! Get us out of here, come in.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, you should know, fam. Appreciate you and love each and every single one of you. We're coming back to episode 2.03. You see that subscriber count, you see that we have hit the seven digit milestone, but we have no intentions of stopping there. Keep subbing. Keep sending this to your enemies, your friends, your mom, your dad, your granny, your aunt. You send it to everybody. And as always, that first link in the description below is the Patreon, the Kuala Club.

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Yes, sir. Oh, my God. Perfect. Come on now. Let's go. Now, guys, we love you. Remember, one out of tin wildberries. Oh, my God, I'm gonna'clock.

We'll see you next time. Yeah, no. Yeah, I was eating onions. So she complained about my breath. Yeah. I was telling her about toilet paper, though. Yeah, I guess.