You Should Know Podcast - I DATED HIS WIFE! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

LIVE SHOW TICKETS (LOS ANGELES): https://www.ticketmaster.com/you-should-know-podcast-los-angeles-california-12-07-2023/event/09005F512A5747DE LA AFTER PARTY TICKETS: ( VENUE IS BEING CHANGED- CHECK OUR INSTAGRAMS FOR UPDATES) PATREON AVAILABLE NOW: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast NAOMI (Merch Designer) : https://linktr.ee/xenagriffin?fbclid=PAAabJMosNTP1iXrU95jMJxoeAfVSs_lq36Jwpu16dii4xb1EiaB1uLtcKyuQ_aem_Af_R682HMd57KjpVvxYxG8GsaRr6IQEk7KGRCtOa9I2Y5D0VPuD9xFGWhbWeWtwpTeU Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 LA AFTER PARTY 2:20 SICK CAM JOINS 6:41 Cam NEEDS Peyton? 13:11 THE HOSTAGE CHALLENGE 19:43 Who We Would Kid*app 22:34 LIQUID IV 24:10 Epitome vs Epitome DEBATE 27:09 MANSCAPED 28:45 MAMA LIV JOINS 33:20 RANDOM QUESTION PEYTON VS LIV 34:36 Peyton Flirts With Liv 38:48 We Have Lice 41:40 Checking Out My Mom 46:42 The “à la carte” Debate? 50:39 Eating Belly Button Hair 56:20 Solving Wild Riddles 59:14 THE EGG MATH PROBLEM 1:02:40 DR.P (DO I MOVE ON?) 1:06:53 ANNOUNCEMENTS TODAYS SPONSORS: Manscaped: Manscaped.com Code: PSH LIQUID IV: 20% OFF YOUR ODER GO TO LIQUIDIV.COM USE CODE YSK YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R GRAB SOME MERCH: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by our friends at Factor. Make this your best season yet with nutritious two-minute meals from Factor. Eating well has never been this easy. Just heat it up and enjoy, giving you more time to do what you want. Cam, you know me, right? Yes, I do. Do I like cooking? No.

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There you are, pushing your newborn baby in a stroller through the park. The first time out of the house in weeks. You have your Starbucks, venti, because, you know, sleep deprivation. You meet your best friend. She asks you how it's going. You immediately begin to laugh, then cry, then laugh cry. That's totally normal, right? She smiles. you hug.

There's no one else you'd rather share this with. You know, three and a half hours sleep is more than enough. Starbucks, it's never just coffee. The You Should Know Podcast. Oh, we're back. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 89. I need a big one.

Round of applause, please. Woo. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 89. Thank you so much for coming back to the most wonderful place on earth, and that's the You Should Know Podcast. If you're new here, if you're not already subscribed, but is it pressed? You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see that comment section is fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out i have big news for you no i don't you already know what i'm about to say there's an energy in the room that is almost tangible i think that means feelable la we're coming this thursday for the live show la it is the week of the live show we are so excited to put on a great show for you guys.

And we have an after party immediately following the live show. The after parties, if you've ever been, you know it's a good time. It's very interactive. A lot of drinks, a lot of fun, a lot of hugs and kisses. Not a lot of kisses. I just said that to hopefully sell it a little more. I promise you no one's getting kissed. Hello, guys. We are so excited for this live show Thursday in LA. Bring your mom, bring your dad, bring your pappy to the after party. We can't wait to meet all you guys. It's

going to be a fantastic show. And guess what? We have two more live shows confirmed. Book, city, venue. We know where we're going, and that will be announced very soon. Be sure to follow me on Instagram at PSHA. Cam on Instagram at CamKennedy22. And at You Should Know Podcast if you want to know first. But if you actually want to know before the first people, if you want to know only close friends and family knows, you go and join that Patreon.

The link will be in the description below the rsvp and the ticket link for la after party is in the description below we love you so much now on to the rest of the episode the you should know podcast we got co-host Cam back in the studio. Cam, wait. Cam, wait. No, as I say, you didn't get much love. It's all right. I love you, though, and I like your sweatpants and your face and your heart. My sweatpants and my face and my heart like you, too.

Cam, can you explain why you sound like a lawnmower that's trying to rev up a little bit? All right, if y'all can't tell, my voice is finally returning somewhat. I've been sick this past week, but we're here. You already know that. So bear with me if I hit a little... That means that Peyton's going to talk a lot this episode. And if you hate me, click off. You know what I mean?

No, you're a good man. But, okay, her good excuse me you like my neck kisses no i don't i like to you know my favorite part about you is when we snuggle okay you should never be like your lips became a little butthole like you got so happy you went like this. You said, you know what my favorite? And you're like, don't ever do that again. Liv said she thinks your voice is sexy, which means my real voice is bitch. I've been sick for a week. She thinks you talk like this

like you're normal. Hey, babe. Hey, Liv. Thanks. I'm like, hey like hey sweetie this is annoying though everybody that knows leave in the comments when you lose your voice when you lose your voice it is the most annoying shit ever because like you're fine but you sound like a great day so i'll talk a little bit bit about this. So we've been sick, right? So we've been moving. The weather in Texas, it went from like 96 degrees to 32 in a matter of like 48 hours.

I immediately got sick, but I'm a good sick. I'm not a good sick. But I got Cam sick, so we got sick at the same time. Cam is just soft as shit. I'm soft as shit? Yes, listen to your voice. That's my voice. That's just my, god damn.

It's not making a good case. I get sick once every three years, and you know this. So when I get sick, I go down for the count. 10 count, down. We got sick at the same time. Me, made a steal. I was like, I go down for the count. 10 count, down. We got sick at the same time. Me, made of steel. I was like, I'm over it. Cool, I'm good.

You look, I have my voices bad. No, you're literally made of steel. Like your insides are like aluminum. The virus was in your body. It was like, oh, this isn't a good host. We need to get out of here. This isn't a good body. It's going to kill us.

So it came to me and it sabotaged me. That's why you got lucky. If I took my sickness and your sickness, your shit was in there like, ah, where's some good organs? That's rotten flesh. Oh, let's look at this tube. Oh, that's black. Like you're in. Oh, God. No, you are disgusting it didn't imagine being so gross a virus doesn't want your body

it was like it was like this body has about two weeks left it's like they're like oh this isn't this isn't a long-term play. Like, let's find a better system. Hey, what about this good looking one next? Oh, shit. No, honestly, no, but the thing is with you, I think sickness is a big mental game. I think you can. No, you're not. Obviously not.

Bro, you came to the house and you're like, I'm i'm not good bro because i was ill you sounded fine you sound good now and it'll come back was you just ruined it with the cough don't cough anymore don't cough on that microphone don't cough oh no no no no please don't please don't we're selling cam t-shirts at the live show no so and we've been around each other so that's how i think i got used to it because we're moving we both moved right i got a new uh house cam got his new apartment with his lovely wife and his dog ruby yes and we helped each other move now i think i'm going if the podcast doesn't work right i think i'm gonna start a moving company because i am i'm the catalyst of your moving i'm the reason you have a put together apartment right

now absolutely yeah sure the reason we have a put together apartment right now absolutely yeah sure the reason we have a put together party yeah i carry might be the reason i have a dent in my door frame but you are not the reason that i have four walls up and everything put in the right place you are far from it i had an english teacher that was 94 and she sounded just like you they let a 90 year old teach kids but i was like i was like 11 at the time so anybody over the age of 60 was 90 you know what i mean oh she wasn't actually 90 yeah i didn't have a birth certificate i was about to say what the fuck like what are you why are you still working you can barely breathe on your own it's like that rss check isn't coming

in what's it called uh that's not that's like rss feed rs rs rsvp no rsvp to the fountain la for our live show after party hey um what's it called the statement checks that they give the people no that's what you pay ssn so social security number no mine's one four five three four six two four one yes it is take it you're Peyton now I'm keeping that in I swear to god that's my uh anyway you're not keeping that so what social security celebrate good times come on do you think you have good... Oh! Do you think... Do you think, honestly... Honestly, on a scale from 1 to 10,

how good of a mover am I? Do you think you're a better mover than me? Because we both helped each other move in. Without a doubt, 100 million percent. No, you're not. You are a sly bastard. Why'd you call me? Why'd you call me and say,

Peyton, we are... Because I needed some arms. You some arms you said paid like this isn't gonna move without you i said you said this ship is gonna sink if you don't come aboard Napoleon no i said hey asshole i know you're not doing anything better can you come help that's what i said no so and i said i'll return the favor next weekend. And you didn't. You didn't help me move. More things in your house are put up due to me than you in your own house. Or is it because I hired movers? You were like, you were like, Cam's a millionaire.

So, whatever. I'm so far from a millionaire. So, so. He's not even funny. Instead of. So, whenever... I'm so fucked. So, instead of... So, instead of Cam calling movers and helping the economy and helping people's jobs, he said, let me put my family and my friends through hell. Trials and tribulations. Yeah, and he had us... Let's do that again.

Exactly. And so, as soon as I got there, said all the heavy stuff pain I can't do it I bad no you're not obviously not I am stronger than you oh obviously not because my tonsils are shredded you have tonsils still yeah I never got to get out oh my god what if you have tonsillitis that's what this is don't scare me dude oh my no that's gonna be hell on earth if you have tonsillitis that's what this is don't scare me dude oh my no that's gonna be hell on earth if you have tonsillitis that's when i got my surgery when i almost died don't scare me if he gets tonsillitis we'll announce it on the podcast and then go to indeed.com and you'll see a thing this is you should know podcast you should know podcast you're like the most insignificant

mover all right all right then never ask me to help you get... That's not how that works. I moved everything. Everything. Who mounted your TV? You helped in it. Okay. So TV wouldn't be up. You wouldn't have entertainment. Two, who put together your bed that you sleep on with your wife? Who put together your bed?

You helped me do it. So you wouldn't have a bed. So we could go faster. So you wouldn't have a bed. It takes an Allen wrench. Who, who... I did something else. No, you didn't. You did two things.

Okay, what did you do for my apartment? Everything. What? I put your clothes up in your damn closet. I broke down boxes. Oh, you broke down car. I mounted your TV. No, you didn't.

I placed your couch. I connected your couch. The piece that connects. Yes. I unboxed boxes for you. I connected your couch. The piece that connects. Yes. I unboxed boxes for you. I grabbed boxes for you. Okay, so just like that. I switched TVs.

Just like that. We can already say Cam opened and closed boxes. And took things out and placed them about. Okay, so what sounds heavier? I set up your coffee station. I took your 3,000 pound couch up three flights of stairs by myself. You literally did not touch the couch. By yourself.

What? That stance. That's the thing about you. I edit these podcasts, right? And I'm watching through it and I'm doing human experience. I have an award from College of Sociology. I did. I did.

I was great at the human brain. You were good at English, too. I was great at English. Sorry you weren't. Sorry, mathematician. I could add and subtract percentages. I know the circumference of a snow cone. Tell me how that's helping you regular day life.

Buddy, tell that to take away your virus. Google that. Hello. Good morning. This is what I've learned. Cam is in love with me he loves my body cam is enamored by my structure half the things that you say to me are about my buddy my not my buddy my body my legs my back and my hair you love it you love when i

dance yes you do you love when i dance you said it earlier i heard you you said do the thing with your legs you said you like how i load up when i dance this is a compelling case this is compelling so far but one of the things i will give you credit for is i got a new tv i wouldn't have known about this tv and cam committed fraud to get me this TV. I don't have a Sam's membership. Oh, yeah. We got it from Sam's. We got the TV from Sam's and Cam had his 85-inch TV and I said, how can I be better than him? And so I got an 86.

Literally. And I got the same sound system and I... And your wires are through the wall. Did you fix that wire situation? No, not yet. We're doing it tomorrow. One of the things I love to do in my free time is watch movies. It's all I do is sit down on the couch alone.

No, you're on a different... You've been watching straight White House down, Chopper Gunner, Lone Survivor. No, yeah. Straight out. You sound like your name's margaret right now you've been watching straight up like insurgent movies take down the killer bad guy that's the thing i love watching like war movies there's something about it especially if it's based on a true story but i've been having a good two months with war movies but now i love watching thriller hostage movies i feel like i

would be fantastic in a hostage situation you in a hostage situation i would be fantastic in a hostage situation you would be arguably the worst hostage ever no no worse no that's the thing about me i may be a little off but when it comes to my life i know how to pounce and dead like honestly you don't believe that i would be good in a hostage situation no god no your voice is so sick i know you'd be horrible okay put me in a circumstance right now you put me i can put you in any hostage situation right now put me in any hostage situation i promise you i can get out of it okay shut up okay this is the phone i'm calling you is my phone on vibrate ring ring Hey, this is Payton

Damn it I'd already be like yeah kill him Just off that answer straight off the ring You don't like my name? Ring ring ring ring. That's the worst phone ever Unknown number ring ring ring ring. i don't know if i want to answer that okay oh he didn't pick up okay i forgot doesn't love you that much okay but say you have like a you call it on like whoever you have hostages phone so I can know who to pick up. That's not how it works, jackass!

Don't answer spam. You gotta answer it. Okay. You're the worst! No, this doesn't, I was like, okay, let's assume you didn't answer. I don't harm your loved ones. Okay, okay. I give you a second. I'm gonna do not disturb. Same number, same number, D&D. Guys, I'm late. Here we go. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, wow. Spam again. Ring, ring. It's the federal government. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, hello.

Hey, this is Peyton. Stop laughing. Stop laughing. You have two hours. To do what? I have your sister. I don't have a sister. I don't have one of those wait I have your girlfriend I don't have what I've never had one of

those I'm so alone sir I think you have the wrong number I think you have the wrong number God dude you're pissing me off wait sister I had a girlfriend you You're over two, man. All right, do you have a mom? Yeah. Okay, I have your mom. You have so many people.

I have your mom. Are your parents still together? Yeah. I have your dad, too. Why? I have your mom and dad. Where? Who's here?

Their hands are bound, bags over their head. They have two hours to survive. If you don't give me the money. What'd they do? Did they deserve it? God damn it, kid. Wait. Did they deserve it? This is your mom and dad. Do you love them? Do you want them to survive? Okay. Can I hear them?

No. You're not allowed to. Can I get a picture so I know? I'm not snapping an image and sending it. Damn it. Do you love your mom and dad or no? How do I know you're telling the truth? Am I supposed to believe you? I don't have your contacts saved. Okay.

Hey. You're really pissing me off, man. I'm not trying to. Hey, if you ask one more stupid question, one of them's gotta go. You got two hours. What'd you got to go. Can we FaceTime? You got two hours. What'd you just ask me?

Can we FaceTime? I don't like slitting. You want to FaceTime an assailant? I don't like sending money. You want to FaceTime an assailant? I'm not quite sure who you are. Can I call my mom? Listen up, bucko.

Okay, sorry. If you say one more word, you say anything one of them dies right now two hours send the money check your email that's where it's going you got that do you want me to speak you said that's it you're the worst no you're a bad. There's no rules to being the hostile! I have what you want, and I need your money. I think if you're holding somebody for a hostage, I think you have to give clear instructions. You're all over the place.

Alright, switch it. Say you're just a bound and a hostage. You're in a wooden chair. I kinda like this. You got blindfolds? There's nobody in their existence. You're wiggling your foot. You shouldn't be that happy at all.

I've been so awkward. You literally look like you're waiting at a doctor's office. You're like this. And then you have this action. I just like that I'm wanted. Let's say you're in a wooden chair, right? Your hands are bound behind you. It's uncomfortable for my shoulders.

Your feet are bound at the bottom. Dark room. I get tired. I'm on a lunch break. I leave. Wait. Are you working? What are your lunch breaks?

Is this your job? I'm watching and keeping guard. Okay. I'm watching over you, keeping guard. Are we talking? Dude, see, you would piss them off so much. You'd be so damn annoying, they'd just kill you. They would literally not listen to their boss and just kill you.

They have a boss. There's like a pay structure. Are they an escort? You're pissing me off. You're starting to annoy me. You asked me to put you in a scenario. I'm trying my best. You're bound.

Sir, my panties are inside of my ass crack right now. Can I pull them out? If you happen to smell French baguettes. Honestly. Okay, honestly, how much do you think my life is worth in a hostage situation? 80 grand. This is so fucked up. uh 80 grand oh I'm kidding um you know I mean there's never I wasn't a serious question oh there's never true price tags just really what they want oh no

yeah like they they find someone That's important Or of high stature Oh that would make me feel good then And then they take a loved one So it wouldn't be you They would make They would think I'm important

No it wouldn't be you They would think That's not how hostage stuff works I've seen the movies Like if I want your money I don't take you I take your mom But I'm important

Not if you're the hostage Nine times out of ten Like if I want Obama's money You take Michelle I don't know if I should say this I take your mom. But I'm important. Not if you're the hostage. Nine times out of ten. Like, if I want Obama's money, I don't know if I should say this. My FBI agent's like, wait, watch it. We got to send the chopper. If I want Mark Cuban's money, I like him too. Damn it.

If I want, I like LeBron. Why is this so hard to think? If I want Morgan, I like Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman, sure. It doesn't matter. Of course you take Morgan. All the other ones were cool, but Morgan, you'll settle on him. Be careful.

If I want Brad Pitt's money, I take Brad Pitt's daughter. You don't take Brad Pitt. It's a little girl. You shouldn't take her. Bro, do you get my point? Do you get the point I'm making? No, I think you wouldn't be important if you're the hostage. Nine times out of ten. I don't like how you're saying people aren't important.

I think everybody has a very important role on this earth. All right, Gandhi, I'm trying to go with this scenario. What are you saying? That's my rib structure? No. Didn't Gandhi light himself on fire? Gandhi wore flip-flops, I think. I think that's all I remember.

Was that Gucci? No. Is this offensive? It might be. Okay, I'm sorry sorry I didn't mean to me neither but it's not a comfortable shoe to get around you know he's bald and wore like a tape like a tap I used to love wearing flip-flops the flip-flops they go like between here there's so much like dust it's like a LeBron's smoke screen I love wearing flip-flops your feet are disgusting your toenails we can't do this no i'm saying like oh no i don't know no no the top of smooth feel it dog don't do that thing oh my god no i've been i haven't worn socks you know what's sick about me i've been good with doing socks right i used to

have a thing i had a thing in high school where, like, my whole junior and senior year, I never wore socks. I just wanted to be more with the earth. I realized that was gross. So I've been wearing socks every day since. I don't know what it is. The past couple of days when I helped you move in and then I was moving myself in, I did not wear socks. Yeah, it's weird shit, especially when you know you're going to be sweaty. Yeah, I didn't smell too bad on our move-in.

Bad play, bad move. Please put that back on. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by Liquid IV. The holiday season is always a hectic time. You're running around, family's coming. You're going Christmas shopping, Hanukkah shopping, holiday shopping. You're running around, you're busy, busy you need to stay hydrated this holiday season no matter where or how you're

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or you can get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use our code YSK at checkout. That's 20% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code YSK at liquidiv.com. Now on to the rest of the episode bro you think i'm the worst at everything you're not everything but eight out of ten bro i i think i am the epitome of like what a human should be not no

don't start that i don't want to keep doing this with you. Rewind. You did not just say epitome. Epitome. That's the thing. That's high diction. That's high level diction. Okay.

That's college. I don't care if you think. First off, you didn't finish it, but I don't care if you think you were good at English. I was. I have a certificate. From who? Ronald McDonald. Community college.

Community college. Still college. Yeah. a certificate from who Ronald McDonald community college community college still college yeah I have three from that anyway yeah cause my name's Cam I couldn't get out so I stayed for six years

I got three degrees in five years if you want to freaking spin on anything oh where did that go? Everywhere. Oh my God.

Yeah. Anyway, I don't give a damn how it's spelt or what you think being a wizard. Epitome. Being a wizard in English means epitome. Yes, that's the slang version. Epitome. You're saying that epitome is not a word. Not a word. Epitome yes that's that's that's the slang version epitome you're saying that epitome is not a word not a word epitome then why can i say it i can say gabagoo that's not a word that's a great point yeah you stupid bastard so no one's ever said you'd be careful no you've never you've never been in a room with high level

people probably not i can tell by how you operate in life because i'm an idiot yep okay big brain not a lot of so much space it's like an attic with nothing no christmas lights up there you're like a just a dusty old ritual set you're like whenever Your brain is like when you go to tour an apartment and it's unfurnished. That's what your brain is. It's just the floor plan. You get to see the floor plan. I have floor plan brain. You have the floor plan of a penthouse suite.

No furniture. I got one chair and it's like rocking. You sit on it and it breaks? It sounds like this. The wood's broken. Hey, back to it. Epitome isn't a word. Jackass.

Epitome is a word. Throat boy. See what happens whenever you talk a lot and nonsense comes out? God starts to take away the vocal cords. Epitome is a word. Epitome. Honestly? You are an epitome of a dumbass.

You are. It is epitome. And I hate you. You know what? I'm so tired of hearing your voice. I'm tired of speaking it. We're going to bring your wife on. The You Should Know Podcast. Santa baby. your voice i'm tired of speaking it we're gonna bring your wife on santa baby the reason for a fresh cut is finally here with our sponsor of today's show manscaped the leaders and below the ways grooming have just launched their fifth generation performance

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That's 20% off with free shipping at Manscaped.com. And use code PSH. Say ho-ho to a well-groomed mistletoe with Manscaped. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got Mama live back on where my mama live fans are you got mama live on the podcast because cam sounds like you ever been around a horse that has a fever yeah a horse that has a fever what was that noise? R.

A. No, I can't do that. All the audio listeners are in their car. All the audio listeners are in their car. They're like, what the fuck? They're like, meow. Sorry. Because, Kim, honestly, what animal would you describe Kim to look like?

What he looks like right now? Ruby. I see it. Why'd you look at me like that? He looks like Ruby. He looks like Ruby. It's okay, babe. You do look like... My mom said that recently.

But the secondary thing, I would say a horse. Like a small stallion. Don't you ever say you said a small stallion. Oh, shit. We're all dying. Good morning. All right. So we brought beautiful, amazing mama live on because

i'm coming for your job cam come for your job yeah this is her tryout to see if she's gonna take the co-host what do y'all think at the end of this episode let me know and the cta to direct the camera to open palm to make it inviting is cam a worse sick than me no cameron's very dramatic he's so dramatic like you are sick no he is sick he is sick i have to give it to him he is sick but he waits till like the he's on his deathbed to like i need to go to the doctor i need medicine it's like let my body do its natural remedies. Be proactive. He's like, yeah, it is what it is. I'm like, take some damn medicine. Chill out.

I take medicine. Quit playing Cod. I'm an over-the-counter goblin. Over-the-counter can get the job done. Exactly. But this time it's just. I think you just need to get honey, swallow a spoonful of honey, and drink some tea and you'll be good.

Yeah, we're doing that on the way home. He's obsessed with honey. But that's when you're sick. Yes. Yeah. You got to go. All right, Winnie. But that's when you're sick. Yes. Yeah. You gotta go. All right. Winnie the Pooh

put down the honey and relax. Like you didn't get amoxicillin. Amoxicillin is not real enough. The criminal cop killing a pop

isn't a feeling or not. Is it a miracle or just a product of pop fizzing up? Y'all are gonna get copyrighted. Now if I did that?

If you did it, it'd be like this. Wait, Cam, we were moving in. Tell them how I farted. You did a fart like this. Oh, God, no. When I fake pull my pants down, imagine he actually pulled his down, but the frontal was not exposed, but bare ass was. Pants pulled down.

Pants pulled down, both hands up, squat and a fart. We're probably, not weird because I'm not this, but y'all are probably the most grimiest podcast there is. Like grime, like grimy. Honestly, this is what I've learned about Cam. He is nasty as me me but he does a better job pretending oh no he's nasty have you seen his ears today them bitches is dirty and i'm sick no and oh okay so i'm about to excavate my dear my dear pull it out and show cam oh my god my God. It's on your shoulder.

Cam, you're a nasty goblin. Okay, honestly, this is the thing about Cam, too. He picks his nose all the time. I know. Yes, you do. It's literally been the last, like, two weeks because it's a – Get a damn tissue. My left side, I had a pimple. You always blame it on the pimple, dog.

You're digging for gold. It's not a pimple. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it is not. I honestly –'s not. No, it is not. No, it is... Honestly, shut up. You don't want to hear your voice.

Screw you. Shut up. Shut up. What? I'm digging to stay alive. Cam, you do that all the time. It's literally only been like the last two weeks.

It's because it's finally getting cold. This side has been crusted and I have one of those scab things that bleed. Stop, bro. People eat that. You saw the bloody napkin.

No, that was you. You saw the bloody napkin. You know you you saw the blood you know i don't like that dude we were eating lunch and he was just sitting there holding up his bloody ass napkin i'm like can you put that away i don't know you know what that is i don't know if it's like a scab or something but it's like no one cares it constantly annoys you but you have i don't get those i get them bro and i i'm bad if you go to the passenger side of my car, it's boog fest. No, I don't do that. But no, Cam's nasty as hell. He's disgusting. No, I'm not.

You're a gross man. Your blood, your knee, your nose. Your blood, your knee. What the hell? Your nose doesn't bleed, so you have it better off than me. Dr. Seuss in the rhyme book. All right, Cam. All right, what I was trying to say is because my voice is shit,

I know y'all don't like hearing it. It's annoying y'all. It's annoying me. They both think it's hot, but for whatever reason it's pissing me off So I'm just gonna ask them questions and let them answer some of these crazy I try to give camel logic in the car. He didn't like it This guy's Winnie the Pooh everything has honey flavored cough syrup natural honey Processed honey. I am I am like Winnie the Pooh.

What the fuck were you about to do? What the fuck was that? I am like Winnie the Pooh because I love going around the house in a big hoodie like this. I like going like that. Just walking around the house. You cannot do that on the internet. Now, if I did that, like, took my shit off, I would be canceled. When I did that, it was like i unfolded laundry

out of my crack cam we were saying you're gonna ask me some questions you sit a weird way this is why i don't come on this podcast that many internal wedgies you sit no it's because i don't know how to dry my clothes yet why is there like a dust cloud around me like i keep saying shit you just tooted i did you just tooted cam's toots smell like tar and like blueberries. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. All right. First question.

What song right now would you describe as your theme music? Animal I've Become. Sad, lonely, no friends. Sad song alone, lonely, no friends. Dep song, alone, lonely, no friends. Depressed. Is that a tune? Yeah. Sad, lonely, no friends.

Spotify. Top 90. Top 90? That's not a thing. It's by Lil Durk. Liv. So, Lil Durk made a song. Sad, lonely, alone, no friends, depressed.

That is a... Are you saying... Are you writing poetry? Are you okay? That's like slam open word. Like a haiku. I'm not going to lie, Cam. I blame you for that.

I did not know. Because last episode you did expose her. And I was getting hateful DMs. Talking about, oh, that's what you get for being lonely. You eat your boogers. I wouldn't be your friend because you eat your boogers lonely lonely lonely if you're not gonna dm my wife something nice don't dm her at all yeah we stay ten toes down for mama live you say something about me i'll yell that's about as much as i can do it's okay i can handle my cam do you want to lodge in

what flavors i honestly will take one i kind of need it more than you you were about to give it to cam cam's worse it's like a hierarchy you don't need that but my my song is animal i become because i got dry skin syndrome you know what i mean don't wink at me quit that quit winking at me and shit he's been winking at me this whole episode and he'll do it he will do it when you're not paying attention the weak ass punches no i no there is like a like a rumor i saw did y'all see those comments the people were saying i'm flirting with live i like live no i know i don't what's crazy though he'll do it why behind the camera too why y'all record no it's not a live thing though it's just like watching buddy it's not a lifting. It's just like... You're not watching this, buddy. It's not a...

No, it's not a lifting. It's just whenever... He's looking now. It's not a lifting. It's whenever I'm trying to get somebody on my side. You know what I mean? Don't do it to her, though. She's awful.

No, but my song is Animal I Become because... Such a strange creation. On my body, right here... Don't do that on my body i get like he just winked again while his shirt was up stop obviously i'm flirting with that's a crazy flirt if i'm doing this and scales are falling off my side scales no you i know so listen right so whenever so whenever i shower right this part of jesus thank you whatever this part of me. You look like Jesus. Thank you. This part of me, it gets dry sockets. Like, right?

It gets real dry. And I can go like this. Payton, I can see your ribs. You need to eat more, my friend. That's not good. I don't think I've ever seen my ribs before. I look like one of those arms of the angel dogs. It's like 25 cents.

You can help pay me. Bro, you're going to hell you're going to hell is that wrong to say i can't so funny no okay so i got a new shower right in my new house i can't i cannot take him seriously i'm demonstrating something listen so i in my new house in my new house my water gets hot in my old apartment it got real cold real fast i had about two and a half minutes of hot water in my shower but this my water gets hot. In my old apartment, it got real cold real fast. I had about two and a half minutes of hot water in my shower. But this one, I was showering for like 45 minutes, hot the whole time. But I got out, and this whole side is scaly, and this is already a sensitive area for me. And if I go like this enough, I can get a small collection.

Like Cameron's dandruff in his hair. Dude, you do have dandruff. It's on his shoulder pads, for sure. You do have bad dandruff. Because he used that damn Pantene. No, it's because his shoulder pads if you sure you do have bad dander because he used that damn pantene no it's because i'm sick what is sick have to do dandruff in your hair it's because when you're sick you don't take the best quality care of yourself he didn't brush his teeth today yes i did i go weeks without brushing oh that's true we did agree on that yeah it's george washington carver Oh my god there's turds in his pants

There is turds in that man's pants Oh Peyton Don't stick your arm down there Why is your hand I cut it up It's your finger when it came out brown dog Oh my god This is gross

No next question There's something I was going to say Cam had lice Bro I've never had lice yes you did whenever cam so cam whenever cam whenever what i've had lice before she's had lice before oh that's possible live no well it's not with us color people but i say the night at a friend's house she was on the other side of the spectrum not spectrum she was on the other side of she was white it's okay yeah she was a caucasian woman we love we put a lot of product in her hair but um i used her brush say the night at her house

went home the next day my mom was like you have life she couldn't get it out with little treatments she chopped that shit off i had a what i had a halliburry haircut well you had a bald fade yeah like a straight two they was like late wait you went to school with a dewey on imagine live with a wave cap no uh it was like cute curls it was low-key cute oh my god she had a grudge like a fade she had like a mixed mom haircut like no it was shorter than a, it was shorter than a mixed mom. Like straight up, like it was just imagine just curls. Kind of like yours, Peyton. Literally like your haircut.

No, it was detangled. My mom would not let me leave the house like that. But yeah, I had lice. Tried to spit and hit yourself in the ball. And I couldn't go to school for like a week. Oh my God. Speaking of that, when I had, I'm about to expose myself. This is like one of the cringiest things I wanted.

And I wanted a lot. So whenever I was, I had long hair. You remember I had long hair, right? Yes. I would pull it back in a ponytail. I always wanted, thank God my mom didn't let me do it. Shout out to you, Nita. I wanted to pull my hair back in a ponytail and shave all around and just leave the top.

You would look like a murderer. You would look like an absolute Viking. But the thing was, so when it was down, you couldn't tell because it would cover it. But then when I put it up, surprise, party's here. I had a friend that actually shaved half of her head. Yep. It was pretty cool like right here no no like it was called the trend was called a shave side she was like this and then be like

yep literally it was a thing and yeah just right here on the side wait do i know her yeah you know we say the name like this oh she was a good friend yeah good friend yeah yeah wait she shaved her head yes and she would put like her little initials in her head wait she died too because i remember that was like a vibe in 2013 i don't know if she died it but she definitely how do you know yeah you weren't pictures you so wait what happens at the kennedy house so just showing pictures of like people that was not my phone we have not been friends for 10 plus years not in not in your not 10 plus years that's a long time no not in your camera it was on your phone like on facebook or something kim what are you saying i'm hurting ask the next question

that's the next question what's the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever done shit god the first thing that pops to my mind is thinking about my dad shitting my dad's public shits because he like what do you what do you mean public shits because he has no like cooth you know what i mean like you know some people are like good word i i need i got a shit but like it's a bad one so i can't do it out here my dad's that type of duties i'm about to go to this bathroom right here inside of this pack son, and everybody's going to smell it. That's fucking gross. My dad will shit in a mall, and everybody within three stores smells it,

and he'll be like, that's my work in there. Like, that's him. He says that when he walks out? He doesn't care. And he crop dusts like crazy. He'll be like, I killed the bread aisle. You know what I mean? My mom crop dusts.

She's a crop duster. She does that shit at Marshall's. And you know them tiny-ass things at Marshalls or TJ Maxx. Like, if you're scooting down the aisle, like, you know who farted on the aisle. And she's like, oh, sorry. I'm like, ew. I can't imagine, like, can you imagine, like, a supermodel, like, pooping? They poop.

I really can't imagine it. I can't. Like, in a stinker, too. Do they have someone that wipes their ass for them, too? No. No, I'm saying, like, at home, they're like, nah. You look one of those, you got to bend and like push on your gut like that. Yes.

I'm nervous to share my embarrassing moment because I don't know if it's allowed on this podcast. With your mom? Yes. Because she does a lot of embarrassing things. But this, this specifically has to do with the person sitting next to me. And it's just, it's just very embarrassing. It was like one of our very first dates. Wait.

If you can't say it, we'll cut it out, but say it. I want to hear it. So we went to Chili's after church on a Sunday, and we were just sitting at the table. I don't even know how this conversation came about, but my mom is very blunt, doesn't have a filter. Love you, Mom. But she just flat out said, Cameron, I bet you love Olivia's big old brown boobies. Bro, at Chili's?

Like, who says that? On a Sunday after church? Who says that? After church? Arnita would never. Lisa would never. Never. Would never.

But, oh, Lolly. She would. Wait, have you met her before this? Yes, but this was like the first. Like, sit down. Like, my family was there. Like, Mimi, Aunt Carrie, Morgan. And she said that to announce the table what did you what did you say i was putting a predicament i was like if i say no i'm disrespecting the girl but if i say yes

because i do you like them yeah i do enjoy them if i say yes am i disrespecting the family by answer what you say i didn't give any verbal argument and like fresh like we were still like young like we're not like we weren't adults like we were still like college like we were probably still at seminole at the time so super embarrassing but whatever mom shout out you lolly lo's amazing. She's the best. But she does embarrass me half the time when we're out in public. But it is what it is. Now that I'm thinking about it, one of the, I mean, it's not embarrassing that my parents have done it. Hey, shut up, voice. It's embarrassing that I didn't.

It just reminded me. I'm very embarrassed that I'm about to say this. But as a kid, and I still still am i was very protective of my mom as you should and so i remember as a kid we lived around a bunch of construction workers i don't know why there was just construction workers always in the vicinity and they're always at gas stations and so we'd go to exactly we went to a gas station oh i'm sorry no that's fine oh they just on their breaks they're going to get their breaks yeah but we had like the same like schedule as them so anytime we went to a gas station there

would be a load of construction workers in there because there's a lot of people in the gas station i thought you were saying because the construction workers in there no i'm saying when there's a lot of people there's typically only one person working the cash register okay you're trying to go put 20 on gas there's 10 people i'm just making sure's a lot of people, there's typically only one person working the cash register. Okay. You're trying to go put 20 on gas, there's 10 people. I'm just making sure you clarify for the people. Okay, so we would always be on the same schedule. And I remember the construction workers would always check my mom out and look at her ass in front of me. And for some reason, I felt as my 10-year-old self, or eight years old, I could protect her.

And so I remember this one dude was like wasn't trying to hide it he was like like looking at it and i got mad and so he walked away not like that so he walked away and this is so cringy i remember i he turned away i followed him oh god i put my eyes ass level to him so i was bent down looking at his ass and i was going do that one more time followed him through the story you think he was scared of you i would have kicked his little long-haired troy palomaro tail wearing ass out the grocery store no i don't know what it was did you ever share that with your

dad nah he'd have been like what you doing yeah no it was it was embarrassing bro next question yeah you're a sicko you got ass level to a crow which fast food chain has the worst french fries my answer is i think it's an obvious one in and out in and out in it oh that is definitely ups boxes shred it up like that shit is gross that shit is like disgusting the burgers fire the burgers are fired in and out and they don't make combos and they're shakes yes they do yeah they do you're gonna you're gonna fry anything they don't make it a la carte they're what what did you say a la carte that's're what? What did you say? A la carte. That's whenever it's separated. Like you have to buy the burger separately than the fries and the drink.

How do you spell that? I say a la carte. How do you say it? A la carte. How do you say it? Oh, shit. A la carte. A la carte.

What? A la carte. I'm the wrong one. I say a la carte. Like all. A la carte. No. Are y'all dumb?

Like you get all the carte. How do you say? Okay, that's not the reason. No, because it's a la cart. A-L-A. What does A-L-A stand for? It's not an acronym. What the fuck?

A lot of food. It's a la cart because A-L-L. How do you say? What does A-L-L spell? All. All. A la cart. It's A-L-A.

I think. A la. A la cart. A la. You're just changing. But you're just changing. The A at the-A. I think. A-L-A. A-L-A-CART. A-L-A. You're just changing. But you're just changing. The A at the beginning is what? A.

Because if it was two L's, you're making an A. A. A-L-A-CART. A-L-A-CART. A. Okay. Say all. Say all.

So how are you beginning that? A-L-A. No, no. A. Are you dumb or stupid, dumbass? Oh, of course. It's not because of that. You're just simply changing the way you're saying A.

You are saying. Because that's how English language works. The following letters determine the first letter. No. I've taught first grade. And you know that. You don't know your letter sounds. Okay.

How do you say A-L-L? How do you say it? Yeah, A-L-L. What does that spell? Like all. Because there's a double L. say it? Yeah, A-L-L. What does that spell? Like all. Because there's a double L. The double L makes the A say ah. Okay.

Oh, damn. He's right there. Okay. Thank you. Guess who teach first grade? Guess it's me because appetizer, right? I don't teach that shit no more, obviously. No, it's a la carte.

Whatever. A la carte, a la carte, all the damn food. All that shit. The fact you thought it was an acronym she said what's it stand for all the food bro is it really ala carte it's ala carte ala carte it's like the same thing as epitome what the is epitome okay you epitome and epitome epitome you're the epitome cinema an epit. An epitome is like you're just a nothing. What was that? What?

You're an a nothing. You're an epitome. You're a nothing. Epitome is like an example. Like the top, the peak of something. When people say you're an epitome. Like you're a nothing. No one says you're an epitome. Yeah, they do.

I've been called that. You're an epitome. No, you're the epitome of something. That's how the word works. Use it in a sentence for me. I'm the epitome of a good guy. But you don't say epitome. something. That's how the word works. Use an innocent sentence for me. I'm the epitome of a good guy. But you don't say epitome. You're nothing of a good guy.

You're the epitome of a good guy. You're like the peak, the example. Like you're the hierarchy. Okay, you're an epitome. You're an epitome. No, you're not. You can't be an epitome, Liv. Whatever.

I'm not good at English, not good at math. Just school. Yeah, drop out. Don't do that school yeah drop out don't do that i agree don't do that what why are your socks or why are your shoes off i get more comfortable something just flew off of your freaking sock every time you move there's dust debris it's like i'm having a constant like smoke cloud of dust that's freaking disgusting and y'all's carpet's dirty as hell y'all probably got roaches up in here. Look at my side compared to his side. Why are you digging in your pants?

What are you doing? I'll give you $7,000 right now if you smell my fingers. I'm not gonna lie. Something just got caught in my finger now. That's freaking gross. Oh my God. That's a question.

Flip's like, please. Come on, Cam. No. Get that away from me. 15 if you like it. No. Cameron, we need the money. Next question.

You need to get us off that quick. The money? We need the money. No, shut up. No, that's not a millionaire. I need your Birkin bag. Which smells worse? Earring bags or belly button legs?

Y'all reach out. Belly button hair did you see what i just heard what did you just ask me never eat your belly button hair do you ever eat your belly button hair belly button hair you ever eat it like take a little nibble of it

you're not asking me that yes i am no one does i am asking you that. Who asked that? Me. Did you hear the question? He said, do you like belly buttons or ears?

That's nowhere near the question. And so I said, do you ever eat your belly button hair? You have belly button hair? Yes. She does. It's cute. My husband won't pay for laser hair removal wait live no one asked that no one does that no one's eating shit how does that happen you'd have to get a straight razor put it on a plate

fork and knife i don't do it either i was just making sure y'all didn't i'm just making sure y'all don't use belly button hair we're all on the same page great move on next question why did that just pop up in your brain? Hey, do you hit yourself with hammers at night? Oh, no, I don't either. I was just making sure. Like, what are you doing? I was just making sure.

It's like y'all don't talk to yourself? Yeah, what possessed you to ask that? Because I wanted to say it. I was just making sure y'all don't eat your belly button hair. Okay, what was your question? Because I don't. I'm glad we're on the same page. What was your question?

What? What was your question? The question was what smells worse, earring backs or belly button lint? I don't get belly. My belly button doesn't smell bad because I have an Audi. You do not have an Audi. Yes, I do. No, you don't.

I've seen your belly button. I have seen your belly button. That is an innie. You got hella belly button hair. I don't i've seen your belly button i have seen your belly button that's it any that's literally you got a hell of belly button hair i don't need it that's literally it must have shrunk in or something because it was audi last time i looked at it belly buns don't shrink you were born with an audi or an any no that thing was out last time i seen it no it wasn't yes it was what happened maybe you just lost wasn't. Yes, it was. What happened? Maybe you just lost some weight and you thought it was your belly button.

There's not much weight to lose. No, I had one. I swear to God. Honestly, though, if you have an Audi, those are pretty cute. I used to have a thing for, okay. They're pretty cute. I swear to God I had an Audi at one point oh it's strumming it like this like a little small guitar key you probably I'm telling you it's probably

just some fat and it is no Liv I'm telling you I could storage I can storage small dimes in here but now I bet that shit smell like ass. There's so many things wrong with both of what y'all are saying. No, you don't just have a little cyst of fat, right? And it just disappears. And you've never had it out. I did. I think it's the angles and the lighting because I swear to God. People have extra skin on their belly buttons all the time.

What? People are born with extra skin on their belly buttons all the time. When'd you go to belly button school? It's like a tag. Like a little tag. Oh, there was a girl in fifth grade. Our summer trip,

we went to a community pool across the street and I had a crush on her all year. And then I remember she was in her swimsuit and she had an Audi and it was like protruding. It was like a small nub out there

and I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Did you tell her? No, I was scared. You were just like this. Y'all could have had cute little Audi belly button babies. I swear to God I had one. Because I remember there was a point, because my brother would always pick out belly button

and I was like, I want that. And then I was like, I can't because there was blockades. There was a dam right there. It was blocking the water. That's disgusting. But now. No, you really said it must have shrunk. How does that work? It's like a little knot in there. Yeah, no the water. That's disgusting. But now... No, you really said it must have shrunk. How does that work?

It's like a little knot in there. Yeah, I don't like it. Do they tie it like a... It's kind of uncomfortable. How are those made? If you stare at your belly button, it's kind of uncomfortable. I don't like it. There's like little X's on it. It looks like a starfish. Yeah. And they smell horrid. They smell disgusting. Wait, Cam, smell my belly button.

I'm not smelling my belly button. Do it. It might clear up your sinuses. I'm not smelling your belly button. How do you smell my husband's belly button? I've smelled your belly button. You have a cute belly button. Because the bottom of your...

Because when you sit down right under it, it looks like a peach snap. A what? A peach snap. A what? A snaffle bottle? What are you talking about? I have scars on mine because I had a belly button ring. Or a belly button piercing.

Yeah, he does. Sometimes when Cam sits down shirtless, I want to grab his belly like a three-year-old and go... I do that at home. So you have smelled it. I don't smell it. But Cam's body hair makes me uncomfortable. He does have weird...

Oh, my God. What? He does have weird body hair. Because his hair on his head is like a tan and a red and an orange, but his chest hair is like black. No, but... Okay. And I noticed about Cam the other day too.

So Cam used to only have areola hair, right? Yeah. It looked like little eyeballs on a furry creature. It looked like the little lashes people would put on slug bugs. Oh. But then Cam FaceTimed me the other day and he showed me his body because that makes me happy and feel good on the inside.

Quit winking at me. I'm about to throw my shoe at you. You winked at her? And it all connected. It's like a chess piece now. Bro, I'm not interested in playing. If I can't,

my eyes will go dry. All right, enough of those, enough of those questions. I've heard some unbelievable answers already. So, but honestly,

now that I have y'all here together and I can just sit back on the outside. All right, sick voice. I got two more questions for y'all here together and I can just sit back on the outside. Alright sick voice I got two more and they're gonna be two little riddles cuz y'all suck Okay Brain capacity is me. That's true two negatives make a positive I don't like how you point upward like that. Our hands are so cute and small. All right first one. Oh, yeah, they're crazy

She's flirting now. First one. A grandmother, two mothers, and two daughters went to a baseball game together, and they each bought a ticket. How many tickets did they buy in total? Wait, two grandmothers, two grandfathers? A grandmother, two mothers, and two daughters. You're going way too fast.

Slow down. A grandmother, two mothers, and two daughters. Five tickets. Wrong. You have six fingers holding up. Liv grandmother, two mothers, and two daughters. Five tickets. Wrong. You have six fingers holding up. Liv, are you nuts? That's five. One, two, three.

You're doing a weird-ass five. Yeah, that's why I look like six. You're doing a two-hand five. I've never seen a two-hand five in my life. I've never seen a two-hand five in my life. Two grandmothers. Two grandmothers. One grandmother.

A grandmother, two mothers, two daughters. Five tickets. Five. It is five. It's wrong. Wait, slow down. Grandmother, two. Oh, grandmother, a mother mothers two daughters five tickets five it is five it's wrong wait slow down grandmother two oh grandmother a mother two daughters and a niece fucking sick they all had to buy a ticket okay how many tickets they buy six tickets five tickets grandmother two mothers daughter four they had to buy a ticket for the parking. Four, four, four, four.

It didn't say nothing about no damn parking. Yo, you gotta park. It didn't tell us how much the tickets were, so that's annoying. Wait, what? Why does the price matter? Because they didn't say how much the tickets were. Because one of them said,

I'm going back to the car, this shit too expensive. Liv's just making of stories okay no no no help give a hint slow down a grandmother okay two mothers there's three people and two daughters two mothers that's where you're getting me. Two mothers. Two mothers and two daughters went to a game. Are they divorced? Three. Wait, what? Because a mother, two daughters. Oh, because a grandma's a mom too.

She has to be. But that's not fair. I don't know the family tree. How am I supposed to know that's her mother? You didn't give that information. Yeah. You don't have to know the lineage. Did I? If someone is a grandmother, that means they're a mother.

I'm proud of myself. Oh, I guess so. Your mom has a mom. Your mom has a mom. Then her mom has a mom. Grandmother. Two mothers. The grandma and now the mother.

And two daughters. I hate you. The daughter of the mother and the daughter of the grandmother. And y'all suck. Okay, next one. Here we go. Next riddle. Here we go. Next riddle.

That's unbelievable. She asked for the ticket price and you said parking. Next one. Eggs are 12 cents a dozen. Now here we go with some math shit. Eggs are 12 cents a dozen. How many eggs can you get for a dollar? Wait, hold on.

No one say a damn thing. 12 cents. No, okay. A carton is 12 cents. A dozen is 12. How much do you get for a dollar? How many 12s go into a dollar? 12 divided by a dollar.

How much is a dollar in cents? 100 cents? No, 25. 25 cents. Does anybody's ears itch? So wait, a dollar? Yes. Divided by 12 dollars. No, divided by 12 cents.

I mean, that was just a mix speaking. 12 cents. 12 cents. Divided by a dollar. 8.33. 3, 3, 3, 3. Wrong. Okay, say the was just a mix speaking. 12 cents. 12 cents. What about a dollar? 8.33. 3, 3, 3, 3. Wrong. Okay, say the question again.

Yeah. But in layman's terms. Now you're confusing. We're on the same team. Yeah, we're on the same team. Eggs are 12 cents a dozen. Okay. Wait, but when you say that, each egg is 12 cents?

A dozen is 12. Eggs are 12 cents a dozen. So when you get a carton, you check it out, it's 12 cents. 12 cents. Okay. Market is great on eggs wherever this is. How many eggs can you get for a dollar? That's some cheap ass eggs.

Wait. Not how many carts. What? Not how many carts. How many eggs? 12, 24, 36. Okay, we'll count by 12s. 42.

No, that's never. That's a great guess. 36, 36. Okay, we'll count by 12s. 42. I can't do that in my head. 42. No, that's never. That's a great guess. 36, 42. 48. Oh, 12. But 12 doesn't go into an even dollar. That is true. It's odd.

Okay, so how many eggs can you get? Am I Bill Nye, bro? I don't know. It's making my stomach hurt. 12 times. Wait, so I got to ask. This is make my stomach hurt. Twelve times. Wait. So I got to ask. This is where I have the problem.

Twelve. We might have to get that whiteboard. We might have. So twelve. Get the whiteboard for me. All right. So this is what I got the whiteboard now. Thanks.

So we got. So look. Okay. That's a twelve. That's a sick two. Six. Twelve cents. Yep.

Equals. One dollar. Twelve. One. Six. Twelve cents. Yep. Equals. One dollar. Twelve. One. Card. Twelve eggs. It equals twelve eggs. Yes.

Ooh. So look. Now I'm lost. Read it one more time. I'm going to walk you through it. You got the board. And then you got the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you.

Twelve cents equals. Eggs are twelve cents a dozen. Twelve is. Wait. One dollar. Yeah. That is, wait. $1. Yeah, that's what we're finding out. How many eggs? Oh, 100 eggs.

Yes! I did it with my brain. I did it with my brain. Yes! All I did was, look, 12 and 12. One. They equal each other. And 100.

They equal each other. They equal each other. Every time. Anybody can't tell that shit. We smart. Every time. We might take a while to get there, but we get it. I was expecting like a, there you go.

I told you I was good at English. Go to school, kids. No way. That's where the cap is. Y'all's explanation for that was they equal English. Go to school, kids. No way. I'm from the cabins. Y'all's explanation for that was they equal each other. Yeah. They do. They equal each other out. Yeah.

Hey, it doesn't matter how you get to the end of the river, but as long as you don't drown. I had a floaty on my back. Or a force gum. It's that damn whiteboard. It's that whiteboard. And it helps when I close my eyes to think. I don't know why, every time we're recording and I have to pee, I always have an intrusive thought to just piss right here like a Labrador.

Please do not do that because I will never work here again. But I think, go ahead and open up that Discord, Cam, because I think it's time to help some relationships. And we got another secretary here. We got Secretary Mama Liv. Mama Liv. Mama Liv. Now it's time for Cam Hit It. The music's a little quieter.

Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. All right. Excuse the voice.

I excuse the secretary. I'm a sick secretary. We're going right. Excuse the voice. Excuse the secretary. I'm a sick secretary. We're going to get right into it. Again, randomly chosen. Here we go. Dear Dr. P. Hello. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about seven months ago.

Jesus. We were together for three years prior to the breakup. We simply had unreconcilable differences and there was no bad blood. Now, ever since I stopped by his house to drop off his mother's birthday gift, I've been reminded of the good old days. However, it seems he got himself a new lady. Her breath smelled like 10 cans of bounce that ass. But then again, I might be a hater.

My question is, should i try to shoot my shot one more time or just drop it like a bad habit i'm not gonna lie he has me in a chokehold hopefully not literally not a physical not a half nose all right um this is what i gotta say the hips are working the hips are working that means dr p's brain's flowing let's break this down into different parts right first part why the hell are you giving his mother a gift? Yeah. After a breakup. After seven months after a breakup.

Now, I know you've been close with the family for three years, whatever. You got to separate yourself. Yeah, I was going to say, she wants to linger around. You're wanting to linger around. You're done. You're done. You're done. Hey, you're done.

What is she? Done. You're done. You're done. You're done. Hey, you're done. What is she? Done. You're done, right? Look, he's done because he's got him a new piece of, you know what I mean? He's got him a new little spring candy. He's got him a little honey lemon drop. A little honey lozenge. A little honey lozenge he sucks on.

Not like that. I meant like the candy. Oh, my God. Okay, look look this is what i gotta say first of all dr p you know if you put a submission in you will be held accountable it's true and i'm holding you accountable right now stop going to the house it's not appropriate not a good look even if the mom prefers you over the new girl stop it's not a good look right you can love that mom you can love her you can love somebody from a distance that's like cam i love him from a distance i don't like being around him too much but this so this is the thing and the new girl has 10 cans of bounce that ass to you he likes that maybe he likes he grabs that chin and snaps that bounce that ass he's like i like bring me three cans of bounce that ass

but honestly can i chime in yeah chime in honestly that should be like a a compliment to you because he may be downgraded he might have downgraded and that's where you can tell yourself to feel better yeah she might be a victoria supermodel but she has gingivitis that's true she got gingivitis breath i got gingivitis it's all good i don't know if i do i might you don't oh we'd be able to tell you the other day when we were in tj maxx this is not dr p talking this is payton talking my mouth started bleeding in the store and that fan came up. So I smiled and I saw it like that. It's all went like this.

Because it tastes like coins. What's my mouth start saying? Like pennies? You know there's blood. Like pesos? I can't. But first of all, stop going to the house.

Detach yourself from that family. You have a full life to live outside of them. You can still love them from a distance. Let them live their life. If it's meant to be, you'll come back together. That's all I have to say. And that was... Solo.

Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P!. B Dr. B Dr. B You got the outro Okay that was

The Usual Podcast Episode 89 Guys sorry It was a little different I'm so sorry We're working through A sickness A lot of other podcasts

Would have been like F the fans We're not uploading Cam is a soldier We don't do that here Yeah shout out to Mama Lip for showing up And screaming

Guys We love you so much LA We will see you in a couple days We don't do that here. Yeah, shout out to Mama Lit for showing up and screaming. Guys, we love you so much. LA, we will see you in a couple days. The after party link at the... If you have a live show ticket, it's completely free for you. If not, go ahead and buy your ticket right now. We love you. The next two cities will be announced soon. Cam's voice will be good for LA, so don't worry.

It will be fine. He's going to the doctor tomorrow. He's going to get him some honey. Can I do a secret code? Yes. Secret code is... For your karma and to confuse the casuals. To good karma and confuse the casuals.

I'm so nervous. I'm tingling. Secret code is SYH. Suck your honey. No, but I like that better. So, suck your honey. Remember, guys, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

They will see you next time this episode.