You Should Know Podcast - MEETING HIS BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

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The You Should Know Podcast. The You Should Know Podcast. Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 138. Round of applause, please. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Usain Bolt Podcast episode 138. If you're new here

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karma we have an announcement on black friday we have the best merge drop that we are ever or have ever dropped have ever dropped the the best merch after we have ever dropped is coming out on black friday Round of applause for that. As you saw last week, we released the RDC World episode. A lot of y'all loved it. It was fantastic. It was one of the best collabs we've ever done because it was just literally a bunch of friends hanging out. And there was a lot of bleeps in there because we forgot the cameras were on so in a couple weeks on patreon we will be releasing the uncensored version of the

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We love y'all. We love y'all so much. Now on to the rest of the episode. The YouShouldKnow Podcast. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered.

Download the Instacart app and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders service fees exclusions and terms apply instacart groceries that over deliver we got co-host cam back in the studio Oh, damn. Oh, I did the mouth thing. Dude. No. That was weird. Anytime you wear a shade of blue, it exfoliates your eyes.

Does it really? Yeah, you look like a sweet, you look like Bambi's second niece. What? Like sweet and confused. Second niece? A girl? I'm a girl when I wear blue. I'm a female deer.

You look cute in a onesie, if I were to be honest. Like a big old onesie. I'd look thick. You are a thick girl. I'd be carrying a caboose in a onesie. It'd be wicked. How is your... What is up with me being a girl? You just said I'm a girl in two different things. Well, that's fine if you're a girl.

Am I getting... No, it's not. Okay. Because I'm not a girl. Oh, okay. I've never seen what you got downstairs. I've never took a wink at it. You've... I've never seen it. I haven't. No, I know you haven't seen it, but you've seen've never seen it i haven't no i know you haven't seen it but you've seen it no i haven't you've heard of it oh i've heard it i've heard i've

heard the folklore i've heard the mythical tales down on the old spanish trail old spanish how is your week bubba how you doing how you feeling how are we uh we are fantastic i woke up a lot of mucus but outside of that it's a solid week. It is a solid week. That's one thing about you, and I need to, there's always something that's made me irritated at you. It's made me hate you. Right? You alright?

Yeah. You don't have manners. How do I not have manners? Yes, I do. You really don't. You don't have manners. I don't have manners? You don't have manners.

I'm the most manning person ever. No. They call me Peyton Manning. No, you... That was good. That was fine. That was fine, dude. You fly no flag and you honor no creed.

What do I do that's not mannerful? You... Oh, my God. You're like a... You're like a... Just a... Yeah, like a... You do manners in social settings and you do all that,

but as soon as we're behind closed doors, you defile me how you make me feel small and wicked you don't feed me you don't do any of these things you don't you have manners in public but not behind closed doors that's the true face of a coward that's how you are that's who you don't have manners you know why if you sneeze i'm myself you don't cover your mouth bodily function you cough don't cover your mouth bodily and you spit on people i do not spit on. And you spit on people. I do not spit on people. You spit on people.

You do spit on people. I do not spit on people. Yes, you do. What am I, a racist? I don't spit on people. Finally. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't spit on people.

I spit when we are walking outside and on the off chance here and there, someone might be close to it. Yeah, but you don't check your surroundings. You'll literally be like. That's fair. But that's not manners. And then I say seven out of ten, people are like, damn. Because you're hitting them.

I'm not hitting people with spit. You're not checking the downwind. There's no downwind. There's no waterfalls of saliva. I'm simply going. And the piercer will be like, whoa. I'm like, oh, sorry, loser guy. I'm just kidding. I love you. No, I'm like oh sorry little loser guy i'm just kidding i love you no i'm like okay who's more mannering who has more manners mirror you you have more fake

manners you have more fake man how can you call them fake manners if i do them every day because you only do that's manners you only do them in the public eye behind a closed door you are undoubtedly yourself which involves being a monster. How? A wildebeest of a man. If I'm by myself, who do I have to be mannerful for? You FaceTime me, and the first thing I see is either your happy trail or your... So, is that very mannerful, Peyton Manning? You're showing me your dust star, and I'm trying to ask you what channel the Lakers are playing on.

And you want to talk about manners when you answer the phone from my phone call it's my head it is me my face because it takes up the whole screen okay big head joke that's fine I'm either seeing a like an ant trap of belly hair or I'm seeing your undercarriage okay but that's just friendly banter who sleep no that's not happening who sleeps with food in their bed? That's not manners. That has nothing to do with manners. Who gives a whip when they're bathing themselves? You, not me. That's not manners. You're getting manners confused with cleanliness.

That's not the same. Whose kitchen smells like rotten... Oh my god, it's yours. It's not mine. That's not manners. Having manners is making your house not... No, it's not. It's my house. I can do what I want in there. Cam, when's the last time you held the door for anyone? That's a bad habit. Thank you. it's not it's my house i can do what i want in there cam when's the last time you held the door for anyone that's a bad habit thank you that's not manners that's a bad

okay well i say hey what's up buddy and you go oh nothing how are you bitch where's the manners in that okay that's the thing that is something i was gonna bring up this episode why do you why is it just with me you care whenever i call you a bitch? Because they don't. Or when they do, it's a joke. Yours is 24-7, and it hurts my soul. It's a loving bitch. That's not a thing. When that girl called you a bitch in the club, you liked it. That was one time when I was in college.

I didn't know any better. That was one time. It was a long time ago. She said, you fine, bitch. I said, thanks, thanks, all right. I said, I guess I did put the shit on, but all right. I said, you like my ball cap oh she scared me um okay but later that night i picked up olivia drunk off the water burger floor

yeah that was a rough night very rough night okay but you called me about that you said payton this girl called me a bitch and it was kind of nice okay you didn't say i did not say it was kind of nice i said i did know how to react. Am I? I didn't know how to respond. Am I exposing your kinks? No, this isn't a kink. No, no, no, no, no, no. I said I didn't know how to respond. It had never happened. It was like getting sucker punched.

You didn't see it coming. Yeah. So you didn't see how, you don't know how to defend because you're just knocked out on the ground. But you hugged. You didn't punch back. I did not hug her. I went, I tipped my hat to her.

I said, all right. Does it generally bother you when I call you those names? No. Because it's a loving thing. I know. I know it's out of her. I said, all right. Does it generally bother you when I call you those names? No. Because it's a loving thing. I know. I know it's out of love. I'm just kidding. But sometimes I feel malice.

No, no. Never malice. No. Sometimes I feel malicious. No. If I'm ever actually angry, I'm not going to call you those names. I'm just going to talk to you stern. Yeah.

You're different when you're angry. You're different when I'm angry. No. You're scary. You're a scary mad. My secret is I'm always... Yeah, because it's always right there.

But then one little tick, it's like your anger meter is like a little thing of gasoline, right? Yeah. And then things that piss you off are little sparks. And if one pisses you off enough,

the whole tube, and then you just hate everyone around you. No, but it's not... You don't hate everyone around you, but it seeps out. No, but when I call you derogatory names, that's out of love. It's the way I grew up. No, but it's not. You don't hate everyone around you, but it seeps out. No, but when I call you derogatory names, that's out of love. It's the way I grew up.

Like, I honestly didn't know my mom's first name until I was like 14 because my dad would always call her Heffa. Where the Heffa at? Heffa. Yeah, like a cow. So you. Yeah, like where the Heffa at? And I'd be like, oh, mom's upstairs.

Like, that's what I just like. Mama, dad said where's cow at? You didn't know your mom's first name. Well, no, and, like, this is how we talked in my house. Like, we would defile each other out of love. Like, we would just say rude things to each other, and that's how we expressed love. But then your little sensitive, prancy, piss-ass came around saying, that's hurting my feelings. Because when I grew up, my mom was like, hey, sweet butterplums.

She was like, I hope you have a grand day at school, sweetheart sweetheart make sure you take good notes and tell me if i can help you on your homework and i was like yuck homework as a kid i think it was terrifying i think it's one of the reasons i dropped out of school homework was terrifying no i'm talking about my dad oh wait he had to help you he would make me impress and sit down by each other and it was on this glass i remember that goddamn glass table. It sucked. And we'd get these math-like little stapled papers, right? And that was our homework.

And he knew I wasn't going to do it. But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. I can't focus at home. Yeah, when I'm at home, home is fun and entertainment. School is school and work. Yeah, and Dad, I smell your ground beef cooking. I want some of that.

I want that. Give me food. I remember he would sit down next to me and i get my anger from my dad like i'm quick and he's quick too and so i and so he would stand over me right he just tower over me and i remember his breasts like i just remember his pink breasts with a little stubble hair on he got the same chest as my dad and and i would i would be trying and then he would try to tell me how to do it and he's stupid as shit he got kicked out of college he didn't know he didn't get kicked out because his grades got kicked out for other reasons he was having too much fun and so i would i would he would be trying to tell me how to do it and i couldn't like my brain wouldn't click

and he's like mother come on man i'll be like how you not getting it and he wasn't mad that i was stupid he was mad that i wasn't understanding him see mine was completely opposite i remember in like second grade we were doing very elementary like geometry which just shapes and angles stuff like that yeah right rotus i got there you go that wasn't right but i'm trying to make you feel like you're part of something thank you so i go and i asked my mom for help she goes we didn't learn geometry till the 11th grade and i said are you shitting me i said 11th grade you learned geometry later to find out obviously you take geometry in high school and it's like more but i was like mom i'm just asking like how big's the circle like can you help me or not she's like i don't know i was

kind of shit out of luck. I was like, all right, thanks for nothing, Lisa. Yeah, no, my mom tried to get a tutor. Didn't work. I was like, I don't respect her. Yeah, my mom tried to get me a tutor. I said, I'm not driving or I'm not getting dropped off at a Kuman math center

and going in there. Like, no. You went to math centers for your tutoring? No, my mom tried to get me to go. First off, math is my favorite subject until I hit 11th grade. So I was like, why am I even tutoring? I enjoy math. i don't need to go here she was like your grade can get up a little bit i was like you have a 98 let's get a 99 who are you like what are you you're not a big

suit you're not like i don't need to impress my grade yeah and i just hate i never went to tutoring she wanted me to do it for some reason though maybe she wanted me out of the house probably she's like i am sick of this kid he keeps writing writing on my boxes. Oh my God, dude. And my mom tried to take me to people's houses. And I just remember like, I would see their cat running across and then their son was ugly. And I was like, I can't focus with that thing next to me. Are you kidding me? You want to know something more awkward, bro? So my mom in the early, in the early years of school, like kindergarten, first, second grade, I would get home before my mom, before my dad, all that.

So I'd go to my neighbor's house and me and her, we'd go in, her parents would greet us at the door and immediately say, let me see your folder. And when I was young, I'd always finish my work first,

talk a lot, get in trouble. Imagine someone else's parents like disciplining you and saying, I can't like, here's your snack but you don't get to play the game you don't get to play with the toys you have to sit on your couch your mom gets here because i acted up in school they're not even my parents and i'm like 13 feet away from

my front door that at the time i don't have a key to and the shit was hell wait so your parents allowed someone else to discipline you okay no no we're different because if somebody tried to discipline me they're getting disciplined that shit's not happening with my parents. It's not happening. Your mom would be like, wait, so what'd you say he gotta do? She goes, you wanna say it again? What'd you tell my son to do?

Okay, speaking of kids, right? You're about to have a baby. About to have a baby. You're a couple months away from having, okay, round of applause for that little rat coming to the world. Hey! That's my job!

That is, that is, that is. I'm going to be funny. You're going to be the fun gunkle. Fun. Mmm. I am not the gunkle. That is Markel Washington. We love Markel.

We love Markel. I meant to say funkle. Yeah. Funkle. Funkle. I meant to say funkle. Wrong letters. And no, I'm going to make your kid, he's going to say Funkle. Funkle. Funkle. Funkle. I meant to say Funkle. Wrong letters. And no, I'm going to make your kid, he's going to have tough skin.

Yeah. And he's going to, like, I'm not going to bully, well, kind of, like the same way I pick on you. I'll allow it. Trip him a couple times. Trip, throw him in the dirt, take his face and go. Huh? You're going to accept that? He's like, oh, no, I'm not having fun.

No, not going to do that. See, damn it. You always go one step too far it's don't yeah don't strike him but i went up and i saw your lovely nursery at your new house at your compound your mansion oh my god i said wow this is beautiful and i never had this there's sea salt and like and i was like what is all this but it was nice it looked great okay thank you but then i was trying to work because i've never passed the point of like the action to have a kid i've never thought about what a kid is like babies i've never thought about it what the hell does that even mean what you never thought what a kid is it's a kid it's a baby i'm trying to think of like i was thinking about this on the

drive up here because i looked over at live and she's pregnant okay when they come out is that their first breath no okay they are breathing in in the little sack of goo they're sitting in what are they breathing though heart's beating there's oxygen in live so they get a percentage of oxygen yeah they get a cut they get a back door they get 10 percent gets 80 the kids cake and 20 and that's why his heart rate's at 150 oh my god they uh they can they're he's currently forming thoughts. No, he's not, though. He can hear us talk.

I think that's bullshit. At this stage, at 28 weeks, we were told by the doctor in multiple apps that he can now hear us, so don't say anything that would upset him. Fuck you. It'll hurt his palings. Oh, my God. Your uncle's kidding. Your uncle's kidding your uncle's kidding the other night the other night i had a 25 minute conversation with my wife with my wife's belly with your white son no no i had a 25 minute conversation with my wife's belly the other night and they said i was like hey guy yeah it's our first really kind of breakthrough moment man uh i said my name's cameron i was like hey guy it's our first really kind of breakthrough moment

man I said my name's Cameron I was like that's your first conversation with your son I swear to god I literally was sitting

I didn't know I didn't know what to say because I'm just looking at skin and I know there's a soul behind that

and I was just like hey I'm not going to lie to you it doesn't work like that it does work oh you have a kid oh you're a doctor

oh tell me about the first conversation you had in Lisa's tummy. Oh, can't remember it, but it was had. My mom played Beethoven on her way back on the interstate. That's why you are. That's why I am exactly the way I am. I was four years old. Trying to do music.

Other kids were like cheering on the Cowboys. I was in my room. Making symphonies. My mom played bodies. Let the bodies hit the floor. Your mom. Crazy. I love her to death. She is like,

the more, it's like an onion. Every layer we peel back, you got uncles you didn't know. She's obsessed with light bulbs. She likes being barefoot, but only in her backyard. She listens to hardcore heavy metal.

She carries brandies and glocks in the purse. Allegedly. Allegedly. And her own dog took its life. It's like, it is a lot of layers, dog. And it just kind of makes me understand where your thought process goes. Did I talk about it?

Is that public knowledge? Oh, I don't know. I think. I don't want to say this story. It is so sad. Yeah, it's such a sad story. And if it's not, Mama Hart and I absolutely love and adore you. And you're amazing.

I think you said it. Okay, yeah. That dog's dead. That was all a joke. No, that dog's bad. Yeah. Back to babies. So I spoke to him. I was like, Daddy works for a podcast.

Doesn't know what that is. No, if I said it's basically like me and your Uncle P, we sit out on a couch and we talk to each other every week. And then your other uncles are there. They do stuff behind the scenes. And Mommy shows up. Whole conversation, right? So then whatever reason for me, I was like, how often do babies eat? Because I don't have a kid, right?

I have no clue. And I go, why are you laughing? I'm just imagining your kid with a lazy eye and a lisp. What? What the fuck does that that mean why would you say that why would he have a lazy eye and a lisp that'd be so cute he's gonna be out here he's like so uh he's like so um so my daddy said but what if he came out he's like i really thank you for it's like is he donald daffy duck well you have a lazy eye picture from philly that was a crooked picture from philly so you have the lazy eye he might get it from you and then the list for a buckle

then what does he get from you just a bug eyes anyway back to feeding right yes so i sit there have a full conversation with live i'm like bro I keep seeing videos because now my TikTok is getting swarmed. It's dad talk. It's like, your kid is never going to sleep. I'm like, that sucks. It said babies eat every two to three hours for the first five months of their life. Oh, he gets that from his dad. Now that's fair.

That's a good one. But I at least sleep at night, and then I wake up starving. But, bro, he's going to wake up in the middle of the night, two, three hours. Yeah. It sucks. And then once they hit solids, they can eat the baby foods and stuff like that. You don't got to... What?

Have you ever tried baby food? I feel like I have, but I don't remember. Yeah, I have. Actually, I went through a stint in middle school, or high school. Was it good or bad? Can't remember. I feel like my taste buds changed. I peel like a snake on my tongue like certain it's like weekly too like certain weeks like i've been really wanting uh what's the what's the fish

salmon i've really wanted salmon recently and i've never had it so you don't remember if you liked it or not no maybe you find out together here today got some baby food for you brother let's try it out do you want do you want uh organic apple spinach and kale or what about uh pear carrots and peas because they both look like a shit stand on the back of my underwear oh oh yeah wait what are the flavors pick poison. This is apple spinach kale or pear carrot pea. Oh, this sounds like some health nut shit. Oh, no, this just looks optically horrible. It's bad.

But we're going to try it today. No, I'm not doing it. What's up with this? Because I've never tried it either. Okay. Oh, you're going to get the cooler one. Okay. What are you, a barbarian?

This smells fantastic. Does it really? Oh, I might come and babysit more often. There we go. We got him. We found his fishing line. Then y'all are going to walk in the pantry and be like, where's my kid's food at? What the f***?

That does not smell good. Let me smell. Let me smell. Let me smell. Let me smell yours first. Mine smells good. It smells like Gerber. That smells good?

That's like a... Let me smell that one. That one can't smell as good. You gave me the ratchet one. The rancid. That smells like my after the gym. No, literally. It smells like I just did four sets of box squats. That's what this one smells like. Alright, let's try it. Here we go. Oh, man. And I got a fork, which

isn't the best. We'll try both. Okay, did you just twist and Oh, yeah. Oh, the consistency seems to make it me gag. I don't like that. No, this isn't good. How are you going to feed this to him with a fork? No, this isn't the best. We'll try both. Okay, did you just twist and Oh, the consistency seems to make me gag. I don't like that. This isn't good. How are you going to feed this to them with a fork? No, this isn't good. Not a fork. That'd be very dangerous. They just didn't have spoons at the front. Okay, let's try this baby food real quick.

You want to go same time? Let's do same time. Okay, my flavor. Actually, no. You go first. My flavor is pear carrot pea baby food. What's yours? My flavor is organic apple spinach with kale. Probably a fork wasn't the best idea. No, but they didn't have spoons. Go for it.

All right. Let it hit the back of your mouth. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. It's dead ass, the consistency of it. Okay. I can't let him be by himself here. I'm gonna throw up dog That's the consistency is nasty it's like a loogie you big back bitch That is awful Consistency is bad.

It's horrible. It's like whenever I got my wisdom teeth taken out and I was throwing up. It feels like that. I don't want you to fork, you creep. I don't know where you're talking. Oh, no, no, no. No, that's on me. No, that's on me, but I can't do the consistency.

I can't do that consistency. I can't do that consistency. Why would't do that consistency. I can't do that consistency. Why would you just shoot it out of your mouth? Like a cannonball. No, I need a drink. I got you. I got you a drink. You're about to give me breast milk?

No, I got you a diet Coke. Just for you to slam it down. There you go. I know you like the back of my hand. Is it my birthday? No, it's just a regular Wednesday. We can, you know you love it. Dude my hand. Is it my birthday? No, it's just a regular Wednesday. We didn't, you know you love it. Dude, this is fantastic.

Thank you so much. Oh my God. No, your flavor's worse. Oh my God, how much can you drink without burping? Not a lot, but it's good. Your eyes were crossed. You were like this. Not a lot, but it's good.

I haven't had Diet Coke in a week. Oh, why? You just gave me the needle. Now I'm back. And I'm better. Thank you so much for that. Oh, my God. Maybe I'm not going to come back.

That consistency is great. No wonder babies throw up all the time. Yeah, no, that's honestly, that's bad. That wasn't fun. That looks like my underwear when I had too much Chipotle. Here we go. Yeah. Okay, so... Okay, there is a weird thing.

That was a fantastic thing you did there, Kim. Hey, I'm not going to lie, though. The flavor of those is not bad. It's not terrible. The consistency is yokey. I can't do it anymore. I'm starting to get hives, dog. What's in that? Was there pineapple

in there? Oh, f***. No, I don't think so. Wait, no. Did I kill him? Oh, wait. No, no, no. Peas, carrots, peas, water, lemon, pineapple. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Peas, carrots, peas, water, lemon, pineapple. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Peas, carrots. Why did it say peas twice? Oh, it's pears. Pears, carrots, peas, water, lemon juice, concentrate, and vitamin C through absorbic acid. No, okay. So that, dude, that burp. Yeah, no, that came from Satan.

That burp was revolutionary. That burp would have, you would have been like promoted if this was back in the day, way back in time. And you let that out, they would have made you a prophet. How long do you give kids baby food? Oh, that's a hell, that's a, Mama Liv, what are we thinking? I don't know. I remember I was in elementary school and there was a kid bringing a baby bottle of milk to class. Hey, that kid needed, that was a cry for help.

That kid needed attention. Wait, middle school? Elementary school. Oh, shit. Elementary school. I thought you said he was in seventh grade.. That kid needed attention. Wait, middle school? Elementary school. Oh, shit. I thought you said he was in seventh grade. No, no, no. He was in world geography, learning about Russia, sipping out of a baby bottle. I was about to say, no, he needs help.

Okay, I'm thinking of a childhood now. I'm thinking about being a kid. One of my biggest fears as a kid, and this might be an irrational fear, and I'm about to expose a lot about myself. I'm about to deep dive into some like things that i'm a little scared to talk about and it might have changed how i am as a man today more than likely one of my biggest fears as a kid was beyond scared straight i there was a stint in like middle school elementary school like in elementary school going into middle school right i was getting in trouble a lot like i was fighting like i was like i got in trouble for cussing a lot like i was just kind of being like bold and then my and then my mom that's at the time when me and my mom were butting

heads in the household like we're like fighting every day and one of her things was you keep with me i'm gonna send you to beyond scared straight because we used to watch that and i remember i was like it's not that bad like i'm i'm harder than these kids i wasn't like i like i'm not in the slightest like i idolized bieber and jeff hardy like i would not have survived but you had literal posters of a shirtless zach efron in your room talking about what was good like no and so i remember watched Beyond Scared Straight the day she said that. And it was the episode where the kid put the Kool-Aid packet on his lips. Legendary.

And he said, I'm going to give you a kiss or whatever. He said, you're so sweet. I'm going to kiss you. Yeah. And so I remember I was like, well, if I'm going to go to Beyond Scared Straight, I need to prepare. And so I remember I took a kool-aid pack because we had those in the house you didn't i took a kool-aid pack i went upstairs into my personal bathroom locked the door for some reason never mind i'm not gonna say that i i wet my lips a

little bit so it could stick and i put it on and i was looking in the mirror and i was like you did not do that sure to god i tried a lot from that show but i can't say everything because they went to that special section in the jail wait what you know you know that sometimes they would take them to that different section of the jail they had to get the protective custody you should have seen what i did after i watched that episode no no i raided my mom's closet that wasn't too much too much back to the kool-aid you freak yeah you you self-kool-aid your own lips yeah for jail style lipstick so you can be ready to piss a perpetrator are you kidding me? Are you absolutely kidding me?

Your mom didn't threaten Beyonce Garrett straight on you? This is how I knew I needed my ass whooped. But I was like, dude, if I went on that show, I literally wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't do what they told me to because they can't put their hands on me. That'd be a lawsuit waiting to happen. I knew I needed to get slapped. That would have been the best thing for me. And I remember my mom told me to pack my stuff.

She said there, like a couple weeks later, I got in a fight with her again, and I was getting in trouble in school. And my mom said, you're going. They're on their way. And I said, oh, shit. And I remember she gave me this like. You got a Kool-Aid? No.

You said, oh, shit. They come in and you put the Kool-Aid in. No, she said, you got to pack up your stuff. And she gave me like this box. And I was literally packing my room. And I didn't know what to pack. I brought like a binder and like a CD player. And I remember I sat on my curb and I was like, the bus is coming.

And I was boo-hooing. Damn. They never came. She got to you. Yeah. She was a good mom. But she still is a good mom. She's here.

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Do you ever think about living in somebody else's body? Deadass just thought about that. What does that mean? Like how they walk. No. Okay, just a quick question. I don't care how they walk. I do think about

like how you say something and honestly i think you're rubbing off on me but like wrong traits like not not physically rubbing we do that on the weekends but i'm saying like you're rubbing off on me for me thinking you would say outside the box welcome to being a new a new you i say i don't want to think that and i never have until i've met you and you keep speaking around me i think i listening to you just speak it felt and you keep speaking around me i think i listening to you just speak it felt like you're speaking a different language you literally felt like you're speaking like japanese to me like it didn't is that is that a language japanese is okay language okay it's from people japan's okay okay why are we caught why is it well i guess yeah never mind

but like the english there's two different Englishes. Is there Old English and New English? Yeah. Like King James Version? Not necessarily, but... What's other English? Like Britain English. Like they say things completely different. That's slang.

No, that's English. That's slang. That's OG English. We all speak English. They don't have different words. Where does English come from? England. Britain.

England. England. Yeah. Where do you live? America. Dallas. Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Where do you live? America. Dallas. Texas. Yeah.

That's not the same English. Yes, it is. I understand it's English, but they say things different. That's what slang is. Dude, son of a bitch. Slang is like cool things you say. Wait, so they have words that don't exist over here? Yeah.

Name one. They call things completely different. Other than a cigarette. Yeah. What do you mean by that? Shouldn't completely different. Other than a cigarette. Yeah. What do you mean by that? You shouldn't say that. Cannot say that one. They need to change that one.

They need to change that immediately. But that's slang. They need to amend it. I don't think you're... Because it's still a cigarette. They just call it something. That's slang. Okay.

They call fries chips, and we call them fries. That's slang. So who's right? It doesn't matter right or wrong. If people think they're right, then who's the real right one? Everybody's right under God. That needs to be discussed with the jurisdiction. We all speak English.

They're just speaking a slang. So everyone speaks English. Yeah, they don't say, damn, it's lit. Have you ever thought about that? Good time. Good time is a great time to chew. Yeah. No, but okay.

Regardless of English, I experienced the worst mall in all of America this past week. Worse than Willow Bend? Oh, my God. No offense to Willow Bend, but that's the worst mall in Dallas. Willow Bend is a treasure chest compared to this mall. Really? I simply, after walking around, because I was trying to find a very specific store, I wrote down.

I was trying to find a very specific store, and I literally started writing down the names of shops that were in this mall. Okay. And it is unacceptable. This is a mall. This isn't an outdoor mall. This isn't an outlet. This is you walk in through doors, and it's all connected like a mall.

Like North Park, like Stonebriar, it's a mall. Is it open? What do you mean, is it open? No. You think I broke into it? Like I was having a big hide-and-seek game? Is it new? No, no. It's a mall. Is it open? What do you mean, is it open? No. You think I broke into it? Like I was having a big hide-and-seek game? Is it new? No, no.

It's super old. Okay, that's probably why. But tell me what they said. But it's been renovated. Oh, okay. Okay, here you go. Tell me what it's about. In this mall.

These are all in the same mall, okay? First off, you have a literal storefront for beef jerky outlet. That's lit. That is ass. What is their monthly income what are they they in the one guy working looked miserable i'm sorry to you he looked like he hated being i want to go there okay first store i'm gonna rank these stores one out of ten first or ten out of ten if i can get some jerk at a store i'm getting that jerk that we actually i went somewhere in like

corpus christi and it was like a like a jerky store. And they had elk by sun. They had horse. They had a crocodile jerky. Is that legal? I don't know, but I ate it. To slay a horse and then cook it very well done and make it beef? But it tasted great. They had ostrich jerky.

And I was like, yeah, I'm all. I think you were buying from poachers. Maybe. They don't do that. They don't file their taxes. They're selling horse? They did only accept cash. Yeah don't think they do. They don't do that. They don't file their taxes. They're selling horse. They did only accept cash. Yeah, I'm telling you.

Hey, across from Beef Jerky Outlet, Bethlehem Star. This is in a shopping mall. Bethlehem Star. Is that like in hell? I look into it. No, no, no. Oh, no. What's Bethlehem?

You start freaking out. Bethlehem Star is good. The whole store was a woman in there with trunks of tree wood making wooden carvings of jesus christ that was the entire business model and the store was as big as our studio she's losing money every month i'm convinced shout out to bethlehem star go shop with her in jesus hey guess what was next to bethlehem star in a mall discount tire. If you go to a mall to buy a new- To buy a rim or a Michelin tire? To get off a donut?

That's insane work. Inside the mall. This is in the mall. How big was that store? The discount tire? It's like a regular one. Maybe a little smaller because it was a mall. That's lit, kind of.

Discount tire. Seven stores down, Fieldhouse USA. What's that? A whole gymnasium. There was eight basketball courts where they host tournaments. This sounds like the best mall ever. What? That's sick.

This is the worst mall ever. That's a big mall. You can buy tires, jerky, and Jesus. Yeah, you can buy elk jerky. You can buy wooden Jesus. You can fix your flat tire. You can go watch youth basketball. And then after that, there's another one called King's Junior Barbershop.

That's fire. That's fire? Where's the king? I don't want his son cutting my hair. Don't ever put junior in the name of your store, because now I immediately think it's less than. Wouldn't that be the prince? Yeah, Prince's Barbershop. So you can get your hair cut, you can fix your tire,

you can talk to Jesus, you can watch basketball, and you can eat beef jerky. Guess where you can go next? Where? A&T Corp. Night vision and thermal optics. They're selling modern warfare in this mall. Hey, get some bulletproof tires,

catch a basketball game, and go get a thermal scope. This is all in the same, I swear to God. The next one. Stone age natural rocks and crystals. You can buy rock? They should call this World Mall. You can buy anything in this mall. You can buy rock? They should call this World Mall.

You can buy anything in this mall. You can buy gravel in there? 100%. They literally just had sediment on a shelf. Go to the bathroom. I come out. In the bathroom, in the hallway of the bathroom, there's a Test America. What's that?

You can sign up to take your fucking ACT in this mall. And I'm not kidding, bro. I swear to God, bro. I'm not joking You can take a test you can try to make it into college You can fix your tires you can praise the Lord you can watch basketball buy thermal optics And then you can take a stop at the store Q. What's Q? The name was just Q. What are they looking there? It's little plush toys and weird little like toys shit. It's called Q. That's cool. Next door to Q, $3 store.

$3 store and their sign says, everything's $2.99. Really? Oh! What? They said, what? Okay, if I told you, there's a store.

Can you even buy clothes in this mall? I'm telling you. Oh, there's all the clothes places. You got your Abercrombies. You got your, there's a Rainforest Cafe, too. Oh, my God. You know the mall that I'm talking about. No, but Rainforest Cafe, I had my first kiss there. I tried to.

What happened? You did? Did you fail? Did you? No. You said you tried. I started crying because the storm happened. And it scared me.

Did she stay throughout the date? It wasn't a date. I was a kid. I was with our parents and everything. I was with my family. Who the hell were you trying to smooch? What do you mean? Did you just have a stroke?

Did you just... Are you smelling toast? Her name? I don't remember. Brother, you said I tried to have my first kiss. I said, who'd you kiss? And you said, what do you mean? I was with my family.

What are you talking about? Who are you kissing? What's happening right now? Was this in Arkansas? Who are you kissing? Were you on a date? But then you said you were a kid. And then there was no date and you're

with your family but you're still trying to land your first smooch i feel like i'm on a like a jigsaw puzzle i'm trying to make this make sense no it was like a field trip or something or like a family get together with other families i was about to say you're digging a grave right now it was like dude like all my cousins came in town and I was experimental. But then that crocodile scared me. Who were you? You took field trips with other families, non-sanctioned by Pflugerville ISD. You took family field trips.

I was at Austin ISD at this point. I was really young. I don't give a shit what independent school district you were in. Your family took willing field trips with other families. How does that even happen? How does that even happen? I think they're chaperones. Was it through the school or not?

I don't remember. I've never heard anything like this. I've never heard anything like this. I just remember there was a girl I really liked, I think, and she was pretty. Or maybe I was just. I don't remember. Mute it. I saw her, and it was romantic because it was dim, and I heard the trickles of the rain.

And I was like, dude, this is romantic. And I wanted to kiss her, and that was my objective. And then a big-ass bear came out. And you went, oh, mom. So who's the girl? I don't know. That was my objective. And then a big-ass bear came out. And you went, ah, mom! So who's the girl? I don't know. This is different.

This is a different level. I don't remember. This is a different level. You tried to kiss a family member on a family field trip for your first kiss at a Rainforest Cafe. I did not try to kiss the family member. I don't know. You're taking family field trips with other families and chaperones. Was Rainforest Cafe the best as a kid?

I only went once as a kid. And honestly, I got scared too. It's terrifying. It's a scary place. Dude, it's so scary. And all the merchandise is overpriced. And the food's below average. See, I don't remember any of that.

I just remember the bears and the pigs and stuff. Did you go to the right Rainforest Cafe? You went to like the Barnhouse Cafe. Bears and pigs? I remember I went to like the Barnhouse Cafe. Bears and pigs. I remember I went to Chuck E. Cheese as a kid for my, I think it was like Paul's, like my Uncle Paul. You remember we just met at Who You Want. Here we go again.

Here we go again. And I remember there was a bunch of kids, and I remember Chuck E. chased me around. I never went back to a Chuck E. Cheese again. Chuck E. Cheese was creepy. It always smelled like cigarettes. It always smelled like cigarettes. And then a kid threw up in the ball pit.

No, that is grounds for termination. But the thing I liked about that, or maybe that's Mel's bowling. Whenever you would put the tickets in, it would go, or was that Chuck E. Cheese? Yeah, Chuck E. Cheese. Who's Mel? Mel's bowling in Georgetown, Texas. Mel's bowling.

Yeah, I went there with my grandma, who's dead of cancer. She would take me there all the time. And she was a local legend because she worked at the school. And the Green Bay Packers came, and they liked her a lot. Did you ever have that one guy that would come to your school in a singlet, and he'd bend a frying pan? Rachel's Challenge? Is that the right program? No, you did not.

Rachel's Challenge. Dude, I was the president for the Friends of Rachel's Club in my high school. In high school? I was the president for the Friends of Rachel's Club in my high school. In high school? I was 17, holding quarterly meetings about how we could make the world a better place. You suck. Weren't you a hall monitor, too? No, no, no, no. You had the vest.

No, no, no. That was for like a Halloween day. Oh, like a neon day. So it wasn't Rachel's Challenge. It was not Rachel's Challenge. We're a big guy with a bald head like a Halloween day. Oh, like a neon day. So it wasn't Rachel's challenge. It was not Rachel's challenge where a big guy with a bald head and a singlet was bending a frying pan. You had the circus coming to your school? Oh my god.

When we were in elementary, we had an old we had an old PE coach. He'd sit down. You could see his nuts. My gym teacher's skin came off one time. What does that mean? What does that mean, the skin came off? It was like a big piece. I just remember there was panic.

And people came. I just remember it was panic. And people came. I just remember it was on the ground. Oh, my gosh. I remember he would sit down. I'm not going to say his last name. His first name was Bill. He would sit down, and he'd be like, today we're playing dodgeball.

It was nuts. We'd just go, and there'd fall out, bro. Oh, my gosh. The best part of, like, kids, like, gym classes as a kid, was the rolly things, those flat things. Oh, my gosh, yes. The rainbow tent. Oh, my God. The best part of, like, gym classes as a kid was the rolly things. Oh, my God, yes. The rainbow tent. Oh, my God.

All of it, bro. Dodgeball was fun until the world got soft. I didn't like dodgeball. I played sumo wrestling one time, stabbed myself with pencils in my own bag. That was good. That was YMCA, though. Oh, God. Oh, man.

You know what I didn't like in school, though? Well, you know what I don't remember from school? What? I'm so sorry. I just remembered another one. What? You know, okay, remember how in school, though? Well, you know what I don't remember from school? What? I'm so sorry. I just remembered another one. What? You know, okay, remember how you have the cookie fundraisers? If you sell enough cookies, you get prizes and stuff?

Yeah. So one year. Money laundering, yeah. Yeah, money laundering. That's cool. One year, the main prize at my elementary school, or this might have been middle school, was a mobile gaming arcade would come.

Like a mobile game. Oh, games to you. Games to you, whatever the hell. I had that for my birthday one year. So they did that, and then they had the money pit. That thing they would bring in the little thing. I was so excited, and I begged my mom. Oh my God, I was frugal.

I wanted all the money in the world. I begged my mom, can you take it to work? I begged my dad, can you take it to work? I sold enough to go inside the money pit. So it was the day of the thing, and only certain kids that hit a threshold got to go to this party. Everyone else was still in class.

So we go to the party. Certain kids that hit the next threshold got to do the money i was like third in line for the money i was sitting there trying to strategize i was like i'm gonna lift my shirt up right have the back tucked in the second i got in they cut it on i started grabbing a couple dollars the wind got in my mouth and i literally sat in there and coughed for 30 seconds i literally talked I left with like six bucks. My mom sold like $900 of cookie dough for me to leave with a five and a one. Dude, you were the worst kid ever, dog. For 30 seconds and they just pulled the plug.

Hey, get him out. Get him out. Oh my God. Then I cried because I was so excited for that and then I didn't get to do it. Yeah, I remember GameCube came to the house

one time and President let me on the van because I wasn't good at games. The White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee.

Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. I can't even focus right now. My mind's moving at like a million miles per hour. Could you smell they're cooking something? My God, it smells so good. Right there in the cafe? Okay, in the cafe. We're not in Juco. We're not struggling anymore.

It's a cafe. I don't think that's a depiction of struggle. You call it a calf when you're going quick throughout life and you're basketball and you're sweaty. Yeah, let's go to a calf. So you call cafeterias cafes, universal. Okay, let's break this down. Cafeteria.

The fa? Believe it or not, it's not F-A, it's F-E. Cafe. It's break this down. Cafeteria. The fa? Believe it or not, it's not F-A. It's F-E. Cafe. It's a cafe. Kim. You're speaking of musculature. You're saying a calf.

Let's go with a calf. So you call the office building that we work in, the cafeteria we have in there, you call it a cafe? Kim, they don't sell teas and crumpets, dog. That's a cafe. Okay. They sell brisket sandwiches and beef stroganoff, dog. That's a cafe. Okay. They sell brisket sandwiches and beef stroganoff, dog. That is a cafe at its finest.

It is small. It is delicate. It sells meals. You're thinking it's like Emily in Paris. You can get a scone That's what a cafe is. You have to have some kind of pastry and a coffee treat. in your... Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, my God! Oh, oh, oh! Oh, in your weird little mind, a cafe only sells scones and cookies. That's not what a cafe is. You have to at least sell the pastry

to be a cafe. You can buy a honey bun and a cookie right there. 40 feet away, you can buy a honey bun and a cookie. You can buy a honey bun in there? I've literally bought a honey bun in there. Oh, my God.

I've bought a honey bun and you know they always have the cookies by the little bowls of candy, too. Okay, but a cafe... That's a cafe and it's based... So if they only sold barbecue right barbecue lasagna and ribs and burgers that would be a that would be a cafe still that'd be a restaurant do they only sell barbecue ribs and burgers no you can buy teas you can buy cookies you cannot buy tea in there

holy shit you bought tea in there liptons i don't like i'm not a fan of tea i'm not a believer in tea but they sell it. That is a cafe. It's good for you. No, I know it's good for you. I can't get behind the taste. It tastes weird. It tastes herbal,

like a medicine. Really? Arizona tea? You don't like Arizona tea? Oh, Arizona tea. Now that shit, 99 cents a can for 28 ounces of goodness.

Fire. Back to the cafe. It's not a caf. Okay, why are you calling it caf? What does caf mean? If you're so, you're so Webster, you're so definition. That's short for cafeteria.

Holy shit. What does a caf mean? I just associate cafs with like Italy. And that's your problem. That's your problem. A caf sells food, sells small amounts of food, and it's a nice place. That's a caf. You know what I read the other day that doesn't make sense to me?

I've been going through news. I've been trying to get more into news. That is a scary place. Yeah, because I don't really like it. It's confusing, and it brings me gloom. It's always gloomy. There's never like, oh, this kid won a medal. It's always like, this guy's going to jail for 20 years because he did this.

And even if they do say, oh, this kid won a medal, he's dead now. He won the medal, but he was in a fatal accident. God bless that kid. I read, he's dead now. Yeah, he passed. He won the medal, but he's in a fatal accident. God bless that kid. I read, I don't believe this, and now I understand the term fake news. Fake news, very real. I don't believe this. I read this news article,

and it said that a lightning bolt is hotter than the sun. I believe it. Why do you just believe it? Did you hear that? First off, let's see. Someone probably studied it, right? That's kind of how that would work.

Someone did that, brought it to said news station, and that's not a riveting report, but they wanted to speak on it. But isn't the sun the hottest thing ever? That's also incredibly wrong. Incredibly wrong. There's so many stars that are hotter bigger way larger than the sun the sun is our life bringer and life giver so the sun is the hottest thing we know that that's still wrong because we know about the other stars i'm not making it up it's science it's science okay

but bigger stars hotter stars okay further stars but they said if the sun i've always learned this i've always learned this in class if the sun were to get like even a little bit closer the earth is gone 100 it'd be too hot for us if a lightning bolt is hotter than that and a lightning bolt hit my backyard one time why am i not a corpse why am i not sizzling snapping bacon from dunkin donuts that's so good that's so good lightning bolt believe it or not lightning bolt very small sun astronomically big can you do you wrap around that one okay but it doesn't matter it's not about the size of the i mean it's not it's not about the size of the boat it's about the motion of the ocean exactly and your ocean is very large very far away thank you your ocean's very the real ocean you creep is very large, very far away. Thank you. Your ocean's very, the real ocean, you creep,

is very large, very far away. In this metaphor, that's the sun. The lightning is right here in you. How are people struck by lightning

and still alive then? If it's hotter than the sun, if the sun were to, if it were to slap me on the ass, I'm done. I'm going to burn to a crisp.

Because the sun is enormous. Okay, a fire, a small fire the size of my hand that's 1,000 degrees. Where is it? For simple math, it's in my palm. That would hurt like hell.

Your hand is done. It's done. If it's hotter than the sun, and you put the sun in your hand. You son of a bitch. Let's say this small fire is 1,000 degrees for easy math. Okay? This small fire, the size of my hand, 1,000 degrees. Or a fire the size of this room is 500 degrees.

Which one's hotter? Obviously that one. But which one is emitting more heat? That one, if it's hotter. Dude. The one in your hand. I'm dead ass. Kim, that doesn't make sense to me.

If something, okay, say. Would it hurt more if i threw one drop one drop of boiling water boiling water yes threw it on your back okay one drop yes or if i got a whole pot of water that wasn't quite boiling but it was still hot as shit and i threw the whole pot of water on you that's a false comparison oh my jesus christ drop say say you were to get uh that a lightning strike is not even a drop compared to a boiler. You act like whenever there's lightning storms, there's only one lightning. Bow, bow, bow, bow.

Have you ever seen a lightning storm? Thunder? Oh, because you're out in the field getting struck by lightning left and right. I've been struck by... Ow! Ow! I've been struck by lightning. I told you this.

I still don't believe that. Ask Meemaw. Well, you can't. No, you can't. She's gone. We can't converse anymore. God bless her. I'm sorry.

She was an amazing woman. That just proved my point. A drop of water in a pot of water if we did if you wanted a false comparison that was false you want a real comparison drop of water is a lightning bolt hey go and jump into lake michigan and heat it up to hundreds of degrees that's the sun i thought it would probably hurt less because if it's not as hot peyton i'm just saying if something were to be sharp right say you were to get a little bitty pencil that's sharp right but super it's the sharpest pencil in the world but it's this big uh-huh right and then you were to take a big pencil that was dull and you were gonna hit you with it which one's gonna hurt more

the little pencil's gonna feel like acupuncture the The big one's going to feel like Conan the Barbarian's here at your favela stabbing you through the chest. And your whole family's dead now. Wait, what did Conan O'Brien do? I didn't say O'Brien. I'm not talking about the night host ginger guy. I said Conan the Barbarian. Okay, but you're not understanding me.

Holy shit. If there's lightning storms, there's so many lightnings. And it's hitting people. It's hitting houses. Things set on fire whenever you hit lightning. It's taking down trees. Because it's lightning storms, there's so many lightnings. And it's hitting people. It's hitting houses. Things set on fire whenever you hit lightning. It's taking down trees. Because it's hotter than the sun. Exactly.

So how are we... If there's lightning storms, literally storms taking up the environment that you're in, of something that's hotter than the sun, how are we still preheating? We should be burnt, dog. Because the sun... The sun's so much bigger. And how are we testing that? How do you?

Who's caught lightning in the door? That's a grand question. Some guy's in the mason jar. He's like, he just snags it like it's a pot fly. He grabs that bitch. He's like, he puts a lid on it. Takes it back to the lab. They're like, oh, ah, it's hot.

He's just in there catching the shit. No, that's a valid question. Like, y'all believe anything, dog. I swear to you. Peyton, what would a thermostat on the sun? No, no, no, that's another great question. Who told the sun to open up its mouth, lift their tongue, and put a thermostat under there? Okay, I don't think you can throat swab the tongue. You know, the sun has so much waves.

Like, if the sun even burped, we'd be done. If the sun was like, and said, a wave would go. We would all just be like, the sound effects. Am I a walking soundboard? No wonder people like listening to this on Spotify. Yeah, 100%. One more comparison. And I want you to be partial i'm and

i want you to be honest to god i need you to close your eyes okay you know the fear of closing my eyes in public i'm not gonna please if you hit me cam i'm bringing up the fart spray i'm not no you can i'm gonna spray your car i am oh my god that'd be the worst prank ever i'm not no stop i'm not touching you you can get all weird if you want okay please please prompt pinky promise you're not gonna touch me me. No touching will happen. You mother. I'm just kidding. Okay.

What would hurt worse? Okay. If she left again. Sorry. A very, very sharp knife. Okay. Howie. One sharp knife.

Right. It's sticking you real quick, coming right out. Or, and it's very small. The point of it is very small. Sounds like my sex life. Or. Small in and out. Or, and it's very small. The point of it is very small. Sounds like my sex life. Or, small in and out. Or,

sorry, if, golly, small in and out. Sticking you real quick. Or, if you laid down on an entire bed

of thumbtacks, all glued, pointed directly up. Initial pain. The little knife. Cam. He's right. Cam, all glued, pointed directly up. Initial pain. The little knife. Cam. He's right. Cam, you can, listen.

He is not 100% right. If you lay on thumbtacks, Cam, yeah, it's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to hurt. If you stab me with the world's sharpest knife. Ow! I didn't say I'm going, ah! Like killing you. Imagine this. Ow! Or imagine. The sharpest. You're going to cut'm going like killing you.

Imagine this. Ow. The sharpest. You're going to cut me open like some butter, dog. Like some butter, dog. Or a million thumbtacks all at once. The power of a million thumbtacks

going every, every, every centimeter of your skin. That's not fair. Neither is lightning versus the sun. But I'm saying the whole environment is taken up by thunder. That should burn the earth. We should have no crops.

First off, it's not the whole environment. It'd be like one thunderstorm over Pflugerville. Don't talk about Pflugerville. Two towns over, it's dry and sunny. Yeah, Pflugerville should burn. No, Pflugerville should burn for multiple reasons. Don't talk about Pflugerville. No, Pflugerville is creepy and it's nasty.

They got a lot of weird people. The sun could encapsulate over a thousand earths. And you're talking about a measly thunderstorm in Little Elm that scares my dog. Speaking of space, space is not a... Who was talking about space? The sun's in space. That's a fair point. I was about to say, do I have that sun's in space. That's a fair point. Do I have that wrong too?

No, that's a fair point. When I don't... Do you know... You... I think I talked about this already though. I think you need to take a drink. I think you need to take a drink. Okay.

I think you need to take a drink. That big ass drink. Oh! No. Oh! No! Oh! No! It's all on me. I wore blue.

No, bro. No, my shoes! No, paint my shoes! For real, no! No! No! No! No! It's not my fault.

It's not my fault. No, bro. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. No. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. No, it's so your fault. It's not my fault. You told me to go. I didn't tell you to slurp it and chug it, you creep.

You know how I like my DCs. You want to take this one? Yes. Oh, no. Cam's over there. My name's Cam. I decided to wear $2,000 shoes on the podcast. Nowhere near.

Did it get on you for real? It got all over me. It's on my arms, my legs, my shoes. I couldn't see. The carbonation went in my eye. Did you shake that before you gave it to me? No, you started just chugging it, moving it back and forth. Look, it's everywhere.

It looks like we stabbed a Diet Coke. Oh, man. That wasn't even a bit. My legs are sticky. Thanks, Pierce. We're good. Oh. The You Should Know Podcast.

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No, I know. My leg is sticky. No, mine too. I'm very sticky. You shat that everywhere. No, I know. My leg is sticky. No, mine too. I'm very sticky. You shat that everywhere. Dude, that was bad. Oh, man. There is going to be an incredible amount of mites and flies and bugs and grubs in our studio.

Speaking of losing body control, go ahead. What was your first point? I said, speaking of losing body control right no back to space i think i talked about it already did you know that there's satellites everywhere yeah i thought we had one dead ass and then they showed a realistic picture of space and it was like thousands of satellites yeah you think one satellite is doing it all for us? I didn't know. You think one satellite has HBO Max, Garmin navigation systems, Apple Maps, your toll tags, all cell towers on Earth. Old tags?

Toll tags. Let me say this. Pay your toll tags, kids. I't know if that is toll tags universal is that all over america we have toll roads i think so there's tollways everywhere so i've had a car since i was 16 years old i've had i've had a car i was 16 years old i've been driving every day since i was 16 and i just and one of my anxiety mechanisms to cope with my anxiety is to drive. Yes. But they're coping.

Not if you don't have a toll tag. I haven't had a toll tag ever. I'm 25 years old, and I haven't had a toll tag since I started driving when I was 16. Now, I've been getting mail from the toll saying, hey, this is your bill for the toll. And I said, when i look up at the thing it's only like 225 every time i go through i didn't realize hey you've been driving for almost 10 years every day yeah and you still live in a different state too and you go through multiple checkpoints yes it's not a one way 225 you're good every time i go home i'm going through a toll every time i

leave home i'm going it's right outside my house that is true same thing when i was back home kim cj's mom came over this weekend and she goes payton you got to pay your tolls because she saw my mail and i said i said oh it's all right and she goes no if you don't pay your tolls a certain amount it could be a misdemeanor like you could go to jail and i said well i don't want you've seen my butt you've seen my butt my butt my butt is not a jail but i don't want to go to jail that would be a number one draft pick in a jail ass draft a jail ass draft you're going first round put them right in the starting five. There's like,

make the stallion Cardi B Payton in jail. Oh my God. And so, I said, okay, I don't want to go to jail. Let me go pay my tolls.

There's a QR code on the paper. Cam, I put on the QR code. It said, put in this pin number that's linked to your account and what you owe.

I opened up that toll website. i guess can i guess i don't i do don't want to say how much it was it's that bad it's genuinely i could let me put this i could buy a car i could buy a car peyton with how much it was? Steven Harden. Yeah. You could purchase another vehicle with how much money you owed Uncle Sam for driving on his nice road? Yes. A hundred percent. I almost shit my pants.

I almost threw up. I literally was like, take me to jail. I didn't want to pay it. Did you pay it? Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. You have to tell me off camera. Or at least, you have to get, can I, okay, can I do one guess?

Yes. And you just say simply higher or lower. Okay. Will you do that? Be ridiculous though. Be ridiculous. Because it's ridiculous how much I spent. Well, you already told me that you could buy a car.

Yeah. We're talking like an 07 Civic or like a, you can buy like some off a lot. I can put it, I don't know. Just guess. It's bad. Pay your tolls. 20 grand. If you, if, okay, I'm actually gonna, I'm actually gonna, I just started sweating more.

If I look at you, I'm gonna do that again, okay? If I look at you and I say the number $20,000 and you look back with your Ojos into my Ojos and you nod and say, nope, it's higher. We're going to have a problem and we're going to have to talk. You ready? You know the rules and registrations of the game. Here we go. My singular guest is 20 grand.

Peyton, you're Peyton, Peyton. you're absolutely kidding me. I've been so depressed. You are absolutely kidding me. I can't pay my bills. You had more than $20,000 in tolls. Yeah. What are you, Amazon? Are you delivering? I used to, I drove, when I lived in college, like my second Juco, I would go home every weekend because I had a girlfriend at the time. Every weekend. And my school was two and a half, three hours away. Oh my God.

You know how many tolls you got to go through? I don't know the thing about this country. It's a lot. I'm 25, Cam. I've been driving since I was 16. No one told me. Okay, nine years, but it's more than 20. Oh, my God, you're spending more than $2,000 a year on tolls.

What are you doing? Yeah, it was bad. Take a service road. No, I didn't. Enjoy the drive. I'm about to now. I'm about to just get a toll tag. Or that.

Or a bike. Yeah, go get a Mongoose. Try that out. Yeah, no, I don't want to talk about it. Now my stomach hurts. Oh, my God. Okay. I almost took him to court.

No, real quick. You would have lost. And I still got to pay the fees here at this parking garage. I haven't paid them here either. And so I'm just not going to. I'll go to jail for that. Peyton, we are going to get evicted. Why?

Because you're not paying. You have to pay things in life that's how they work sometimes there's a fee and then there's a late fee and when they say huh that didn't scare him enough let's go handcuff him but like says who says i don't know cops cops internet movies pretty much anything in front of you would point to the fact that you got to do that or you might get arrested. And as we know, you and your ass, you would be a prized possession in any cell block that you go into. So I don't want to hear horror stories from prison for you.

I don't want to lose my friend. And I like where we work. That'd be a shit reason to go to jail. That'd be the shit. Oh, you'd probably get your ass beat the first day. Like, what you here for? I didn't pay my tolls. They go, what the fuck?

You just said, I'm doing life for some hard shit. You over here with a toll tag? If they put me in jail next to somebody who's in there for life for not paying tolls, that's their fault. Yeah, the system's crooked. I don't deserve that. Not at all. I don't deserve that. No, that'd be bad.

But, go ahead. I was going to say, speaking of car, okay, the other day I went to a car wash. I love the car wash. Because we recently went to Oklahoma, came back, car was super dirty. I go through the car wash, and this guy gives me unsolicited advice. I hate that. And then it struck me very, very wrong. Why?

Fundamentally, I think he is incorrect. But then I thought about it, and the whole system does it. I'm going through the car wash and right when you know they're doing this yes okay right when I saw I put it in neutral he goes

window down when they're trying to line you up when they're trying to line you up with the thing he's like left left come back he goes alright put your window down I said that's not right yeah you don't tell me to do that

I said you're gonna prank me I'm on there's Ashton Kutcher behind me yeah I don't want the water in my car I said not at all this isn't water right he goes no no for real and I was like

I lean out because I literally think I'm like why am I even opening I don't even know this guy yeah he goes you need to get your tires rotated so they uh so they wear evenly excuse me word for it i can see the little a little uh early signs of wearing on your tires you get them rotated so they can wear evenly make the mechanic or am i getting my car cleaned so that's the first thing, right? Yeah. Here's the issue. Isn't a tire a wheel? It's a circle. Every part of it is touching the road every time I use it. How is it possibly wearing unevenly? How many right turns do you take? What the hell does that mean? What does

that even mean? It doesn't matter if i turn right turn left yeah it does no it does not and if you break a lot it's a i'm telling you it's a tire listen to this it's going like this so you're they don't all evenly go what are you driving on squares you got square tires it is literally a circle. No, listen. Oh, my God. When you take a right turn, is your right front wheel and your right back wheel doing the same thing? No, it's not. They're not. Uneven.

Did you think you just cracked Da Vinci's code? You said uneven. No, I make the turn, and then I start driving again. What are you saying? I'm saying your wheels aren't all moving in sync at the same time okay so then why didn't he say hey your front tires are going to burn out quicker because your back ones to stay straight well maybe he said get them all turned so they can wear evenly first off i don't like that phrase yeah because wearing tire yeah because

they were unevenly moving so you got to realign them to get them moving evenly reset it's it's like uh you know whenever you're doing the, what's the old game? When you're doing an Etch-A-Sketch, you remember Etch-A-Sketch is you gotta shake and reset the drawing. Your car's the drawing, reset it. A Kia and an Etch-A-Sketch.

That's what we've got to. A Kia and an Etch-A-Sketch is how you're defending this mechanic car wash guy. It doesn't matter, it's a circle. Every part of the tire is touching every part of the road. Exactly. Unevenly though. You go in reverse, right?

Yeah. Your back tires are moving more than your front ones. No! Yes, they are. No! Yes, they are. They start slightly in front. And then, okay.

First off, I don't even think that's true. You ever been in reverse and you're cutting the car? Yes. Your wheels are going different directions than your back ones. That's happening. So that means it's going to wear unevenly. You know what? Okay, cool.

So then if I get it readjusted, what the fuck does that do? Because then the same thing is going to happen again. So is this a ploy for money? Is he f***ing with me? Or is he stupid? No, I'm saying it's so you can last longer. Because if it continues to uneven, it will last less. If you realign even, redo that sketch.

Are you f***ing with me right now? Are you genuinely trying to piss me off? No, I'm giving you the science. Peyton, if it's shit and then you redo it, it's going to be shit in a new spot. No. And then you redo it in a new spot, shit in a new spot. Okay. You ever had a jacket on?

What is that? What is a jacket on? You ever had a jacket on? Oh, I thought you literally said, you ever had a jacket on? No, yeah, I've worn a jacket, you creep. A zip-up jacket. Yeah. So zip-up. So whenever you're zipping up a jacket, right, it's supposed to go even.

Don't tell me some stupid... It is even. It's a zipper. Yes, exactly. you ever it ever got unaligned that has absolute it's right a jacket is in circular i'm in the kitchen with grease and olive oil right now you're in the kitchen with like pink food coloring and like flour like you're making a weird ass concoction i would make a cake here we go so if so you know whenever you're zipping up a jacket, it's supposed to be aligned. Those are your tires. It's supposed to be aligned. Say you move a little too much to the left, you move a little too much to the right. Now it's uneven.

You can continue to zip that jacket up, right? You can continue to zip it up, but it's going to be cattywampus. That's your tires are cattywampus. What you want to do is realign your zip-up jacket. No more cattywampus. Now you want to do is realign your zip-up jacket. No more cattywampus. Now you got your curmudgeons.

What are you speaking? I hate you. I'm trying to come to you with some sense. Cattywampus and muggywubbins, what'd you say? What was the second part? Curmudgeons.

Curmudgeons. You know what curmudgeons are? No. You've never heard of curmudgeons? You're speaking in tongues, dog. Curmudgeons, that's not racist. Is that? I didn't mean it. I wasn't racist. I'mgeon? You're speaking in tongues, dog. Curmudgeon, that's not racist. Is that? I didn't mean it.

I didn't know it was racist. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Curmudgeon. Curmudgeon. You sound like you're from Elf. Curmudgeon. Curmudgeon is a real word.

A cotton-headed ninny muggin. Oh! What the f*** is that? That's from Elf. Yeah, that's a real sound. That's from Elf. You call me a cotton-picking n***a? What'd you call me?

I said, for the sake of my life, a cotton-headed... That's... Ninny... Cotton-headed nanny mug. It doesn't sound right. I don't know if you should say that. You're a cotton-headed nanny mug. You stop saying that.

That is extremely... I'm getting offended. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. Don't tell me what I should get offended at. No, you shouldn't. It means you're a little elf. You're a little cotton-headed ninny muggins.

Stop saying it. That's so close. What is that from? Elf. What year was that made in? Will Ferrell, 04. It could have some intent. Okay.

What was I saying? Speaking of bodily fluids. No, curmudgeons. No, curmudgeons. You don't know what curmudgeons are? Brother, that sounds like a disease. Curmudgeons. She got curmudgeons last week. Go get, curmudgeons You don't know what curmudgeons are? Brother, that sounds like a disease Go get your curmudgeons What is that?

It's like get your get back Curmudgeons means get your get back I'm going to get my lick back You've never heard of curmudgeons? Hey, they hit a stain on the block Let's go get our curmudgeons You don't have to talk like that You think you're getting some respect if you say that? No, it's a word, it's in the English our curmudgeons. You don't have to talk about that. You don't have to talk like that. You think you're getting some respect if you say that?

No, it's a word. It's in the English dictionary. Curmudgeons. Holy shit. Spell curmudgeons for me. K-U-M-U-D-G-E-N-S. Curmudgeons. Go get your curmudgeons.

You're not being serious. This is a real word. I'm going to call my mom. Oh, that doesn't do much. Oh, you got my mom ignorant. No, I'm saying, I could say, yeah,

and that's my family word. No, call my mom. Flop a doppelwappers. This is a real word. No, that's bullshit. Watch this. Hello, mom.

You're on the podcast right now. Say hello to everybody. Hello, everybody. Hey're on the podcast right now. Say hello to everybody. Hello, everybody. Hey, Mama. Okay. Yep. There we go. Thanks.

Okay, Mom. Yes or no, is curmudgeon's a real word? Well, I've always said it, so I believe it. Oh! Yeah, it's a real word, though. Okay, I always thought shanna was real. Is he? Okay, Mom. What does curmudgeon's mean real word, though. Okay, I always thought Shanna was real. Izzy? Okay, Mom, what does curmudgeon mean?

Oh, my God. Didn't we just speak about this? Yes. Yes. So, curmudgeon, what does it mean? Like, you get your curmudgeon, like, you know, what's fair to you, what's due to you. Yeah, get your get back. Okay.

Hey, what does flop-a-wop-us mean? What? Flop-a-wop-us. Flop-a-wop-us. We used it in my household. Sure is a real word. Flop-a-woppus mean? What? Flop-a-woppus. We used it in my household. Sure is a real word. Flop-a-woppa? Flop-a-woppus. What is that?

Exactly. It's nonsense and bullshit. Commodions isn't a word. It can be a family tradition all you want it to be. It's not in Webster's. It's not real. Mom, okay. Did you teach me something wrong?

Hey, someone taught it to me. Yeah. Was it your mom? I don't know. Why does she sound sad? Wait, Mom, how many siblings do you have? Oh, my God. Peyton Stephen Harden.

Wait, we talked about this last week. How many siblings do you have? I have two. What's his name? Earl? You have a brother named Earl. I have a brother named Paul. Who's Earl?

I have an Earl, don't I? Oh my gosh. That is my brother's grandson. How old's your brother? God damn. I'm going to take a nap. Immediately. Your brother has kids?

And grandkids. Her brother has grandkids. Why have I not met any of these people? You have met him. Bull shit. When you were a baby, when you were a little boy, you were into guitars, and he had several. And he said, I will give them to you once I pass on. You asked me the next day when he flew home if he'd died yet.

Oh, my God. Listen, did Uncle Paul pass away yet? I want those guitars. Do you not remember that? Damn, I was evil. No, I don't remember that. Why was he into guitars? Let's talk about that.

Because of Drake and Josh. He was a little rock star. I've got pictures. I'll send them to you. No, you're not. Oh, please do. Okay, thanks, Mom. Where do they live?

Why haven't I met these kids? He lives in Maryland. Wait, who? Where does he live? The kids and the grandkids. What about Earl? Oh, my God. Do you not know Paul? Mom, that's your job. The kids and the grandkids. What about Earl?

Mom, that's your job. We'll talk about this later. Goodbye. My mom's a sick bastard. You were into guitars? Let's start there. That's the biggest thing I got from that. You liked to rip it on a guitar. I used to literally try to play the guitar all the time.

You're shitting me. That's what me and my grandpa was like. That's when we tried to bond. Because he loved guitars too. Like a classic? Like a guitar? Like a electric? I had two electric guitars.

You are absolutely kidding me. Y'all didn't know that? Can your mom please God send a picture? Oh, I probably have a picture of it. That's so obvious and i used to wear a longhorns wristband on my forearm and a tank top and jeans and boots he thought he was kobe bryant mixed with trace atkins playing the guitar you wore a sweat band yeah to play an instrument i was always meant to entertain you were always meant to do some

shit that didn't quite add up i think my family think my family is real. I think my mom has lost it. Those people aren't real. I don't. I'm going to trust your mom over you. After all the evidence, I'm trusting your mom over you. My mom spends 14 hours a day on a coloring book, dog. She's not there. She looks at lights and she's in awe.

She's lost it, bro. The You Should Know Podcast. No. Oh, my God. I don't know how I The You Should Know Podcast. No. Oh, my God. I don't know how I didn't show you this. Okay. Me and Liv, we went to a baby appointment two days ago. And it was a sonogram appointment, which doesn't happen.

The one with the pictures. Remember how last time we had the cute picture? The ultrasound. Yeah. Ultrasound, sonogram, same thing. She was going through, taking her pictures. And right when she took it was the uh profile like a side view of her he was cute no of the baby oh okay right when she snapped the picture he turned

oh he's sick oh no it is oh no he's ugly no oh my god my nephew's ugly oh my god bro it's i love you to death whenever you see this you'll understand the picture i'll show you when you're old enough he looks like a like a creep like a ghoul can we put this up on the screen 100 okay it is it's terrifying dog okay but that's i just want your reaction first that's his face holy shit that's his face i swear to god your wife's giving birth to a beast bro it literally looks like he's in there like... Yeah, look at him. Look at that. No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, no. No, I didn't sleep well. That is a cast member of Insidious. No, literally. Come here. Here. Real quick. Ready?

This is face. Fourth camera reaction. One, two, three. Oh! No! Dude, he's sick. It looks like he's... There's no air. There's no air in there. Whatsoever. He's looks like there's no air. There's no air in there whatsoever.

He's being vacuum sucked. It looks like he's sealed like a good steak. I don't know. He turned. I guess he could sense the thing because it was on the side of his face. It was all pretty. And then he literally, she was like, and as she clicked the button, he turned. And that's what we got.

What was y'all's reaction? I literally, I audibly gasped. In the room, I literally went, oh, my God. Okay, but that's what we got. What was Yel's reaction? I literally audibly gasped. In the room, I literally went, oh, my God. Okay, but that's not fair. That's not fair. And you can put this up on the screen, too, because this was Cam as a baby. Yo, you look awful. Cam as a kid, that is a mix of a troll an elf and some dough dog that is not a good baby

i look like an unbaked loaf i look like i had a twin and i it looks that looks i look i look huge i look terrified oh my yeah this i hope to god my son's be but i audibly aghast dude no that that would literally that took a lot of my excitement away from your kid no 100 it was terrifying that is an awful bro it was i literally went oh my god that kid is 90 eyes yeah he was like this he said i got it from you bro and then he uh the woman goes what what's wrong i said no no that's just a creepy ass picture she goes oh i think it's cute and i said bullshit like do you also worship that lucifer i bet you do think he's cute dude dude no cam i'm not gonna i'm gonna love him bad you know that live i'm gonna love him if he looks like that when he comes out he's coming over

anytime he comes over to my house he's gonna look like ray mysterio because he's gonna have a mask on cam he's not walking into my house like looking like that i love him to death i love him if you honest to god if you masked my son because of how hideous he was that would be the lowest point uh i think a a human's he's gonna look like a luchador dog he's gonna look like nach luchador, dog. He's going to look like Nacho Libre walking into my house. Are you kidding me? If he looks like that,

he better develop some skull before he walks in. Oh, my God. I don't think I've heard the word luchador in 12 years. A luchador. Oh, my God. What game?

There were those little eggs. Those little eggs. They were little fighters. They were dressed as little cartoon kids. Oh, my God. What game? There were little eggs. There were little fighters, and they were dressed as little cartoon kids. Oh, my God. What were those? The little beans? Oh, my God. That was so lit. I had a Mexican warrior.

He was a luchador. That's sick. Oh, my God. Is a luchador like a Mexican fighting style of wrestling? I don't think it's a style of combat. I think it's what they're called. They are the El Luchadors. I'd like to be educated. Luchador might mean something. I don't think it's a style of combat. I think it's what they're called. Oh. They are the El Luchadors. I'd like to be educated.

Luchador might mean something. I don't know. Maybe wrestler. Would you rather take $50,000 a year for 10 years? Mm-mm. Okay. $100,000 a year for 10 years? Mm-mm.

Straight? Or you get to be the sole father of Mu Ding? Who's Mu Ding? Who's Mu Ding? Mu Ding? Mu Ding. Who's Mu Ding? of mooding who's mooding who's mooding mooding mooding who's mooding am i about to blow your mind blow it you haven't seen that cute little pygmy hippo mooding uh who's mooding payton you're shitting me the hippo on tiktok the cute little baby hippo a hundred thousand dollars a year what is wrong with you? He's cute and all. I get it.

It's fun. I would rather that fat penguin. No. You've seen that big-ass penguin in Australia? I want that. You wouldn't want Mu Ding. He's not... He's adorable.

He's cute, but doesn't serve much. They live 50 years. Really? 50. Imagine a 50-year pet. Why would I want a hippo that outlives me? He was just... That's a good point he's

gonna be sitting there packing your stuff in a box because you died he's like packing your stuff up he's a pygmy hippo he's small oh my god he's fat he has rolls he's like purple and he's always wet and his caretaker messes with him and then he tries to strike back with teeth but he doesn't have yeah he just bites him with guns yeah he's cute oh my you'd really take money over that you're you're heartless. You're absolutely heartless. What do you even feed a hippo? Bro, probably carrots and rabbits.

Or carrots and celery. What is he, at Wingstop? Yeah. But you feed him vegetables. You wouldn't want to hit... You're not a humanitarian. You're not a humanitarian. What's a humanitarian? Someone that loves the world.

I want to build a school. You're a humanitarian. Would that be counterproductive if I built a school, though? It probably... No. Oh, my God. I'd build, like god i built like an arts class you should build like a montessori oh is that a church no it's a type of school it's like a private like schooling but i don't believe in well i do believe in private school but i want everybody to become i don't believe in private well no i'm saying i believe in it i misspoke i mean i don't want to build a private school because i feel like that's not inclusive. But it's not necessarily.

It's more of it's the Montessori. The kids are learning stuff way better. Like there was a stat said like 10 of the biggest businesses in the world. Eight of the CEOs were graduates from Montessori. Do you graduate as a kid? No, you're done. It's a school system still. How long do you go?

You can go to the 12th grade. Oh, wow. Yeah, they were like, I don't care about Friday Night Lights and a cheerleader that's kind of cute when you're 17. That's legal? Do you learn math? Yeah, they learn math stuff, but they learn business. They learn real things. That's what I'm saying. Okay, that's sick. No, I wouldn't, I don't want you to learn anything

like that. I want you to learn something cool like how to podcast. Dude, that'd be sick. I don't want to be like a school like that. Uncle P's. No. Payton. Yeah? Daddy P's. No. DJP. djp payton payton harden payton's podcast school pps yes or payton school of podcast payton school of podcast and you get cool lunch like ground beef you ever okay quick story and we'll get out of here there's this girl right why why am i already you have a power bro you have a you have a power within you that ass there's this girl right and we never dated but we always had this flirtatious

vibe with each other and she we were really close at one time she went and got a boyfriend it didn't work out obviously because you're not with me i'm just kidding she had a boyfriend it didn't work out so we weren't talking whenever she had a boyfriend. Because out of respect. Because we used to have flirtatious energy. Never smooched. Nothing. She got out of the relationship.

She hit me up. Said, Peyton, I'm really into health and wellness now. And I see that you're trying to get on the right track and stuff like that. And I just kind of miss you. I want to talk to you. I got an apartment. It's by your house. Come over.

And I said, God bless you. I want to talk to you. I got an apartment. It's by your house. Come over. And I said, God bless you. I'm coming. I come over and she goes, Hey, I'm a cook for you. Oh, Oh, I'm gonna jump to the end of this story. Her number is blocked right now. Cameron, she cooks me ground beef. My favorite. I love a good ground beef, especially if it's greasy, no grease in the ground beef, greaseless favorite. I love a good ground beef. Especially if it's greasy. No grease in the ground beef. Greaseless ground beef. Greaseless ground beef. I was watching her cook this ground beef and I said, you're doing something to me. I was feeling it.

I was like, I love you. You love me. You know what I like. Smell it. Female pheromones. You know what starts my engine. Jet fuel. She continues down her kitchen and she goes, this is the magic part of the meal.

And I said, oh my God, she's about to put an exquisite seasoning on this ground beef. Something you've never even heard of. She goes and grabs a banana. I swear to God. She grabs the banana. First of all, I said be careful. She starts to peel the banana, cuts up the banana, puts it in the ground beef bowl. She serves me ground beef and banana and says, you don't know what's good until you had this.

I looked at it, looked at her, flipped it, walked out. You don't have access to me anymore. Who are you? Who are you? I would have immediately said, and you don't know how good your life's been with two eyes up to this point i would have clocked her bananas and ground beef yeah that is worse i would argue that is worse than what my dog eats dude cam and she i was like like i was almost like giggling because i was like she's she's like, no. That's funny.

Take the fruit out. Yeah, and she eats like carrots and peanut butter. She's not pregnant. Like, she's just sick in the head. Who is this girl? You know her. No, I don't. Yeah, it is her.

No, wait. No. It is her. No. Yep. No. It is her. I swear to you.

I just lost so much respect. I almost did a second phone call just now to call her to confirm this. Beef and banana. Was the beef seasoned? No. Because she's on this health thing. Yeah, she's on like primitive grounds. Yeah, it's disgusting.

She's like, let's do a carnivore diet. It's honestly disgusting. That's probably what it was. She's probably on a carnivore diet. And she has this big ass dog in her house. And I'm glad I didn't take a bite of that ground beef banana because she was biting the she was biting using her fork biting the ground beef banana eating it up swallowing that shit and then getting some for the dog the dog was biting off the fork i said she's mute that she's yeah sorry that as well that is bro you

can we quickly recap just off the top of my head some amazing interactions you've had with women yeah you went to a woman's apartment where she served you beef and banana yeah

okay you went to a woman's apartment where she had a flying squirrel mmhmm smelled like ass in there too smelled like a zoo you've gone on movie dates that were

oh so bad you've gone on movie dates that are at 9am yeah you've gone on a 9am movie date you've gone on dinner dates that were oh so bad you've gone on movie dates are at 9 a.m yeah you've gone on a 9 a.m movie day you've gone on dinner dates that were unacceptable girls that didn't show up to hibachi girl broke her nose playing basketball to dave and busters grow up she gave me an emerald pearl what top golf god damn bro oh my Oh my God. Can we, okay.

Can we put it out here? Maybe. And it's up to you. Can we maybe throw it out here? Yes. That coming soon. Yeah. To Patreon.

Maybe. Just maybe. You know where I'm going. Maybe. Hey, look at me. Maybe. 20? V1?

What is a 20 V1? We bring in 20 various I can't I can't Why? Because the girls that I do go on dates with I'm like friends with them though Like I have to be comfortable around you

But I think that's the problem I think that's the problem You're friends with them You like them But then when you see the true self It freaks you the fuck out I can't go on dates with strangers I can't

You like this person Then she's serving banana and beef to you With a fork She puts in her great Pyrenees' mouth And now you're like Up Ick See ya You like this girl She goes with Dave and Buster Shoots a basketball she puts in her great Pyrenees' mouth. And now you're like, up, ick, see ya.

You like this girl? She goes with Dave and Buster, shoots a basketball, breaks her nose. That was cute, though. See ya. That was cute, though, because we kissed in the photo booth. You need to not know the broad and just get her from ground zero. No, I can't. I don't like telling – I'm so sick and tired of telling people my favorite movie,

my favorite color, like – Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hmm. Like, I got to explain to you my family tree again i don't even know paul yeah i thought i had a neural apparently there's a pj there's a there's somebody maryland with guitars and yeah and you wanted him dead and you wanted him dead that is bizarre without hits as a kid that That is wicked, bro. Alright, Cam. Fantastic episode. Get us out of here. Fantastic episode. Appreciate any and everybody for coming back to episode 138. You should know podcast.

We absolutely love y'all. As P said in the intro, make sure to go over to the Facebook, the Patreon, the Twitch, the Discord, Instagram, TikTok, all of it. It's all linked right here. All of your information that you need. And we are doing an amazing, our best to date, merch drop on Black Friday.

You'll be able to see that now on Patreon. You'll be able to see that now. If you're a Koala Club member, you've already seen it. You've already seen the preview, the hints at it. It is fire. We love all the people that say they cannot wait to see it. And we cannot wait to see it on you. It is our favorite piece so far to date. So do not miss

out that is coming out on black friday that is me as an enormous baby and i look very strange i just look gooey yeah like moldable anyway confuse the casuals and get your good karma with this week's secret code w u e woo w u e uh-huh i don't know what is it Where's Uncle Earl Where is Uncle Earl And his shredding guitars Confuse the piss out of everyone And bring that good karma With Woo that is spelled W-U-E

Where's Uncle Earl We absolutely love y'all Cannot wait to see you back next week We love you remember 1 out of 10 qualifiers Don't make it home until Christmas And we'll see ya next time No I had no clue he played guitar