You Should Know Podcast - SURPRISING MY BEST FRIEND WITH A ROLEX! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

LIVE SHOW TICKETS (TAMPA, Florida): https://www.rutheckerdhall.com/events/detail/you-should-know-podcast NAOMI (Merch Designer) : https://linktr.ee/xenagriffin?fbclid=PAAabJMosNTP1iXrU95jMJxoeAfVSs_lq36Jwpu16dii4xb1EiaB1uLtcKyuQ_aem_Af_R682HMd57KjpVvxYxG8GsaRr6IQEk7KGRCtOa9I2Y5D0VPuD9xFGWhbWeWtwpTeU Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 TAMPA//AUSTIN LIVE SHOW 2:56 MANSCAPED 4:45 CAM JOINS 7:14 Helping Each other Pee 10:16 Crazy Christmas Memories 15:32 Exposing The School System 17:47 INSANE Christmas Jingle 19:22 Peyton’s DISGUSTING Underwear 20:43 Play Date Rules 25:13 The Pretzel Debate 34:00 Eating Each others Meat 35:43 Peyton’s Tesla Broke AGAIN 37:19 The Christmas Lights DEBATE 41:15 Cams Hip Pops Out 42:30 Cam STOPPED Showering 46:17 DR.P (STEAK & SALAD) 52:55 THE ROLEX SURPRISE 1:04:13 ANNOUNCEMENTS TODAYS SPONSORS: Manscaped: Manscaped.com Code: PSH YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R GRAB SOME MERCH: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The You Should Know Podcast. The You Should Know Podcast. Ho, ho, ho, it's Christmas! Hey everybody, welcome back to The You Should Know Podcast, the Christmas episode 92. Round of applause. Please. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Uchino Podcast.

Episode 92. Merry, Merry Christmas to all of you. Thank you for sharing your Christmas with the You Should Know Podcast. We love you so much. But if you're new here, if you haven't already, please hit the subscribe button. Is it pressed? You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you say that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name,

guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. Oh, does the You Should Know podcast have a Christmas gift for you? I'm about to announce our next two live shows. Woo! Are you ready?

Are you ready? Are you ready? February 17th, we're doing a show in Tampa, Florida! Yes, yes, yes. It's going to be at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater, and those tickets are available right now. The link is in the description below. Hey, I have a lisp, right?

And now that there's fur on my tongue, it's going to be ten times worse. You know what I mean? We have another live show to announce. This one means a lot to Santa Peta. It means a lot to me. You know why? I'm coming home to Austin, Texas March 1st. Right on my body.

Okay, that's right. All right, February 17th, the day after my birthday, the whole gang's going to Tampa, Florida, the Capitol Theater in Clearwater. The tickets are available right now. Let's have a big birthday bash together. It's our first time out there. We've been seeing the comments Theater in Clearwater. The tickets are available right now. Let's have a big birthday bash together. It's our first time out there. We've been seeing the comments for about a year now. Come to Tampa. Come to Tampa. We're coming to Tampa February 17th. And then it's been

a dream of mine to perform in front of my hometown with all my hometown friends, family, the whole U Cheneau gang is going to be able to go. It's going to be a very, very, very special show. A show unlike the rest. And if you want to see me cry, that will be the show where the wet works will water. You know what I mean? Tell your grandma I said hello. That is going to be March 1st. Those tickets are not available yet, but be sure to follow us on Instagram at PSHA, at CamKennedy22, and at You Should Know Podcast to get those updates. The Koala Club has known about this since last week, and that is the benefit of being in the Patreon. So if you want to join the Patreon and get early access to stuff,

that link is in the description below. This is going to be a very, very, very special Christmas episode. And now on to the rest of the episode. The YouShouldKnow Podcast. Stepping into 2024 with confidence thanks to Manscaped, where resolutions are met and hairs are neatly kept. As the new year approaches, why not make self-improvement a breeze by keeping your body well-groomed?

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Honey, there's too many cookies. Can you bring me some milk? Of course, sweetheart. Come here, baby girl. Oh, my. You said you needed milk? Your knees are so good. I left the North Pole to help my husband.

Here's your milk. Thank you. You got that milk behind you, if you know what I mean. We got Co-host Cam back in the studio. Yay, Co-host Cam. Stay in our room. Mama's here. host cam back in the studio mrs claus you look like a glass of milk on this fine christmas morning how are you doing today hello you can uh christmas is great loving it's very cold we just started it's all right you look so good thanks papa, Papa. I like Santa. We're going to have a good Christmas together. You know what I mean?

You're going to make my Christmas warm. You're going to snuggle me under that mistletoe. Good morning. Oh, you actually have a mistletoe on your forehead. Yeah, it's beautiful, is it not? Oh! No? We're not in the North Pole, honey.

No, okay. Oh, we should have brought Ruby. She could have been Rudolph. We put the nose on her. Aw. We could have been a whole Christmas family. Then she would have seized and her large rib cage would have been... It wouldn't have been a good look.

I'm so happy we're able to be here for another year, for another Christmas episode. I love you so much. I love you, too. I love you so much. Daddy, Santa, Daddy. Okay, now, your outfit. Yeah. Let's break this down a little bit. Let's talk through this. You are Mrs. Claus. I am a bad bitch. You are. In every way, shape, or form. And I want to say this, all right? So I went out to get these Christmas outfits for the whole gang. I said,

Cam, I'll be Santa. You can be Santa. We'll just both be Santa. Cam goes, no, no, no. I want to be Mrs. Claus, and make sure you get me something that my rectum is nice and tight and firm. Did you not say that in front of everybody and on Jesus' birthday lie? Okay.

I said I want to be Mrs. Claus. I was thinking more of a promiscuous one, something that, you know, has a little paprika, you know. I didn't want to be an 80-year-old granny that's sitting there making, like, oatmeal in a pot. You gave me the most, like, excuse me. You gave me the most basic damn, I mean, I'm still gorgeous. She's still gorgeous.

I'm not going to lie to you, Cam. We went to pee right before this, as we do. We have a pee-pee ritual. We hold each other's swords right across the urinals. He touches the cheek if I'm having a hard time starting up the motor. You know what I mean? Do you ever have that hard time when you're peeing where it feels like there's a cinder block right on the tip of your pee-pee? No.

And you've got to stretch that abdominal muscle. Medication is what is needed in your extremely near future. No, but it doesn't hurt. Oh no, but you still need medicine. But- If I pull my pants down, even if I'm not by a toilet, urine will start to come out of me. Wait, really? Yeah.

You have loose pee pee syndrome. Oh no, I just can control my urine. And if I need to pee, I- You've never wet the bed? Hello. When I was younger. When's the last time you wet the bed? I wet the bed so bad one time, My parents had to go rent a shop vac.

What's a shop vac? Is that where you do the heart? What? Shop vac. Is that where you... Clear! No, a shop vac is a vacuum made for liquids. So you suck the liquid out of the mattress or the carpet.

At that point, I think it's time to get a new mattress. Probably couldn't afford it it so we did the 20 rental of the shop back just sucking urine imagine the next person that spilled like a glass of wine they're just like hold on reeking piss that was your childhood mattress yeah when i was a child what size was it i don't know i i was a child. Like a queen? No. That's what I'm saying. That was the same childhood mattress that I've spent the night on? No, that's not.

How's that to say? No, it was like a kid, like a fool, a twin, like young kid. But I was saying about your pee-pee, right? When we were holding swords and I couldn't access Cam's sword because normally he just pulls his trousers down all the way to ankle. He shows butt cheeks in the ear. That's a weird thing you do. I don't show my ass when I take a piss. You're built like a pit bull back there.

So I'm like, is there a dog in here? No, I'm not. I'm not built like a pit. He had to lift his skirt up and pee. I did. Yeah, and we ran into our lovely security here at the studio. And he probably thought we had some external factors going on. They're like, is there a weird Christmas party having an essay? Are there drugs in your system at this exact moment in time i said no sir i'm just mrs

claus no i was putting on my christmas outfit and i was definitely feeling like i'm like the homeless guy outside the 7-eleven or christmas time i can't no at the beginning no you probably can say that before he threw the beard on he literally looked like he was just in a red gi like ready for like a jiu-jitsu tournament like he would he did not look anything like sam is christmas your favorite hat is so erect i am erect my hat is very erect right now you would think there's something holding that up yes but then the the tip the flat the tip's flaccid it's just it's just imagine that just gummy worm your shaft is oh my god what did we just create? That is a... You're getting close. Don't go up my skirt.

That is not manly. That is not manly. Don't do that. Oh, that's what's not manly about this situation. Don't do that. We're tiptoeing on the line. Okay. So, you have three balls on your head.

Hey, my head is itching. Oh, my God. No, I had to take the beard off because during the intro, I was feeling it. I was feeling itchy. But what's your favorite Christmas memory? Ooh. Okay. For one year, for whatever reason, I was feeling it. I was feeling itchy. But what's your favorite Christmas memory? Ooh. Okay, for one year, for whatever reason, I couldn't wait for Christmas morning. So I literally woke up middle of the night, ripped open my gift, realized I was eight,

don't know how to re-wrap things. I went back to sleep, woke up the next morning. My parents got on to me and asked me right in front of them and said, don't you lie to my face. Did you open this last night? And I went, of course I didn't. I'm like, I don i don't know it's just that's the only one that always sticks and the fact that i thought my parents gave me twenty thousand dollars it was just 20 bones oh my god you just reminded me of something one day for christmas right i remember this i can't believe

i haven't said this on the podcast before so you know you know stocking stuffers yes you get your manscaped one 20 free royal ship musical psh check out great stocking stuffers? Yes. Get your manscaped one. 20% off free Royal Ship Musical PSH. Check out. Great stocking stuffer. Actually, Christmas is today. You're too late. You need a big stocking stuffer. But this is the thing.

It's a thing in the hardened household. I'm a hardened. You're a little nasty little Mrs. Claus today. This is the thing, right? So stocking stuffers. It's a thing in our hardened tradition. We don't put much in them. I was just about to ask.

What do you put in them? You're right. You're right. No,'t put much in them. I was just about to ask, what do you put in them? You're right. No, it's you. No means no? It's a thing. My underwear, I'm literally going to have two and a half testicles. How far my underwear is cutting off my right nut right now. You ever had a butter knife and put it on a grape?

You know what I mean? It's not half bad. What? Are you a a grape? Ooh. You know what I mean? It's not half bad. That's just half. What? If you're pushing the. Are you a pain guy? No. You're like, lift, kick him. You're like.

No, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, God. Oh, stop. Okay, good morning. No, my nuts hurt. Listen.

Stocking stuffers. Yes. You were talking about butter knives and grapes. And you're talking about me, stocking stuffers. Listen, right? stocking stuffers yes you were talking about butter knives and grapes and you're talking about me stocking stuffers listen right stocking stuffers yes so what we what we do is we give lottery tickets in our stocking stuffers to everybody all the time all the i've never won one ever i've never won one i've never won real significant money so that's the thing gave one to my dad right and my dad you know bad shoulders yeah he's like oh damn also if you've ever seen him try to

read something that's not on a billboard he needs help yeah and about i'd say two to four minutes to locate his glasses put them at the perfect location and get to it and what he doesn't have the side right here he has no side he's balancing every time it's like an onicle what's it called an oracle arena step Steph Curry, 30 points. It's monocle. Monocle, like the peanut burrow. Let me talk. This is what's happening.

He got his lottery ticket, right? He was scratching it. We were all doing it. Pressing, $20. He always wins $20. It's good for him. Payton, nothing. Go home sad.

Cool. You're going to have a lonely birthday. No one's going to tell you happy birthday. The power's going to be off. It's going to be snowing. You you're gonna be stuck inside no water devastated sweaty loneliness except for tampa i'm happy y'all listen so my dad was going my dad was going right and he goes what what and he runs into the kitchen like to get away to get his glasses he gets his glass he's looking he's like a hundred thousand hundred thousand dollars i want a hundred thousand dollars and i've never seen pure excitement out of my dad

like that and it felt good to see mark that happy because i feel like since he had me it hasn't been there devastated just so so disappointed so so if i start crying so we gotta go so we're like oh shit a hundred thousand dollars we're we're good parents can retire we're like, oh shit, $100,000. We're good. Parents can retire. We're good. Bad grip of money. Bad understanding of finances. Horrid understanding.

Didn't know. So he was happy like a kid. Like I saw a light in his eyes I've never seen before. So happy for him. Gives it to my mom. Mom goes, oh no. Oh, that's the worst first thing you could hear from someone

when you think you just won 100 grand. He goes, no, what, what, what? She goes, what?

She goes, she goes, this isn't a real lottery ticket. And I go, he goes, no, that shit's a, no,

no it is, look, I scratched it. It's 100,000. And my brother goes, I went to Hot Topic. I went to Hot Topic, Dad. It was a prank.

I've never seen my dad shut down so quick. Like he got hit with a liver shot. You ever have one of those memories where you're laying in bed at night, it's either an embarrassing memory or a sad memory, and it changes your whole mood? I'm 24 years old, and I still think about that when my dad shut down bro that's no my okay at least at least his was the fake dude my dad loves the fake scratch off tickets he's never given me one but he loves them he's like he's like i love that shit man they think they win a million dollars they turn it around and says redeem at your mama's house he's like i love that shit wait i love seeing

poor bastards just getting ripped off thinking they won money. I'm like, damn. No, that's evil. No, yeah, that's evil. But at least he had a reason to think he won. Yeah. My parents literally got me a gift card. Think about how stupid I am.

They literally got me a gift card on the amount. It said 2-0-dot-0-0. Okay. Remember how I said I thought i won twenty thousand dollars even if that dot looked like a comma that's two thousand dollars and it's in the wrong spot two thousand dollars commas in the wrong spot what the hell was i reading i've never been good at decimal points though do you get that that's the thing about because we got two three teachers in here, actually. No. We have one teacher, two ex-teachers. Two ex-teachers.

Okay, four. We have people in the education system. Ooh, okay, cool. Ooh, English. I'm good at it. All right. I don't understand at a certain point, right, why am I learning that? You know what I mean?

You're giving me letters in my shit. I 100% agree. I spent two months retaking a test about a radius and circumference. That you've never used in real life. Hey, tell me what that is now. Ask me. Couldn't fucking tell you. Bro, I have said this, especially spending a year in education, bro.

There's, to a certain extent, it needs to branch off like college. If you are going to be an engineer, you got to know that shit. Yes, exactly. You got to use it every day. Trade school. Bro, it literally should be like that. like not every kid needs trigonometry exactly not every kid needs pre-calculus like like i understand you need to know math to a certain extent but once you get into that that should be a choice i would like i would be willing to say after geometry and like algebra one you don't really even need that but

like if 4y plus 2x is 20 like you should be able to figure that out i remember after that it's like if you don't need it you don't need i got into it there's me and my math money me and my math teacher had a good like relationship so i was able to banter with her about stuff and i told her like i was trying to take a test and i was like i want my calculator like and she's like no the whole point is you have to figure it out like knowing the thing and i was like i said why like, the whole point is you have to figure it out, like, knowing the thing. And I was like, I said, why? Like, what am I gaining? Like, if I can figure it out on my calculator, I'm going to be good.

And she goes, well, then you won't actually know it. I was like, so tell me this. In some foreign fairytale land, whenever I graduate and I get this math problem in front of me with a gun to my head. Yeah. I don't have a phone on me. I can't use my TI-84. I can't use Socratic. I can my head. Yeah. I don't have a phone on me. I can't use my TI-84. I can't use Socratic. I can't Google.

I can't be like, what's the answer to this? Hey, Siri, give me this answer. Exactly. Oh my God, and Matt, oh my God,

last thing about math. Last thing about math. I don't give a shit how I got to the answer. If it's right, you give me credit. Exactly, bro. I don't care if i use i got it off of jimmy booy i don't oh well if you cheated that's different but if i if you do it in

six steps in my brain is why you're different because i'm different ho ho ho santa's here ho ho Peyton Zero, intrusive thoughts of one. Damn it, I was about to jump into song with you. Ho, ho, ho, Santa's here. Ho, ho, ho, Cam is near. I left the North Pole. He left the North Pole. To help my husband. I'm her husband.

Make all those toys. Make all those toys. Make all those toys. And beat the shit out of the reindeer. He needed milk. I needed milk. To help him swallow cookies. Help me swallow cookies. He needed somebody greased.

I need somebody body grease! To go down the chimney! Go down the chimney! Excuse me. That was actually really athletic. It was decent. Okay, let go of me. Let go of me. The ankle lock! The ankle- oh!

The ankle lock! I'm sorry. It's- it's Santa Spider-Man I don't know Now look Do you remember being a kid? I was about to say the craziest Do you remember being a kid? Please, I'm dying

Oh my god Do you remember? Can I say what I was going to say? Yeah I was going to say You sure we can't just I need I need Jesus. Do you remember being a kid...

I think everyone does. But some things I blocked out. You're scratching ass and pulling up draws. Dude, I don't like these draws because they're light blue. And every time I take... That's not light blue. It's nowhere near light blue. That's not light blue.

You can see the sweat. That's not light blue. That is light blue. That is light blue. That's not light blue. It's nowhere near light blue. That's not light blue. You can see the sweat. That's not light blue. That is light blue. That's not light blue. That is light blue. That's not light blue. You're lucky that Hannah's here because I would have taken this all off. That's not light blue.

There's nothing about that that's light blue. Light blue is... That's not light blue. There's fucking holes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's holes in your drawers. No.

That's not light blue. That's not light blue. There's holes. There's a... There's a perfect... It almost looks like you took a vaccine in the sphincter. There is a perfect... I'm talking it is a perfect

triangle of three points. I swear to God. It's so high. Like you fart with anger. If a fart made that, bro like this is your hole them bitches were up here it's shooting like darts out it's like oh my god you sicko you're a sick well i'm saying when i take these draws on when i take these draws off every time there's always a wet streak right there on the crack you know what i mean don't wink at me

you know what i mean yeah right there on the crack because i accumulate a lot of wet that's what i sweat too for sure yeah i know well you remember being a kid yes all right so whenever i was a kid right long-haired or before that all the time bald dip you felt my dip the other day dude his dip was bad it's getting worse he literally said scratch my dip and i said all right i was itching i literally went up there my hand went it was a it was a dude i'm balding no kid all the time so there there's a couth that comes with playdates i like that you remember playdates do plays with it yeah i didn't get allowed on a lot of them i can see that did something about caucasians ask it ask it so look one of the things that there is always like these rules that my mom told me i don't know before you go to a play date right and this was instilled in me and still as an adult when i go

to a foreigner's house i don't do and I want to know if you had these same rules okay like rule number one you don't go into the primary bedroom where the parents sleep you don't do that my dad my mom didn't tell me how my dad did he said man you never go to look at another couple's bed you don't ever go in there you don't see that that's sanctuary you don't do that okay rule number two right and this is a lot of this is a big problem that a lot of my friends had when they came to my house now my mom and dad wouldn't trip, right? They wouldn't be like, get out! But you don't open a foreigner's fridge.

You don't willingly just go open a fridge. That's not your fridge. You don't see what's in there. You don't look at their vegetables and meat. That's their vegetables and meat. I can't agree on that one. Well, I know you because you're built like a trash truck. And what you do is you go like this and you take everything.

You're like a raccoon at 2 a.m. 100%. That's me. Grizzly bear in the forest. Somebody left their trash truck. You're a New a trash truck. And what you do is you go like this and you take every, you're like a raccoon at 2 a.m. A hundred percent. That's me. Grizzly bear in the forest. Somebody left their trash. You're a New York City rat. Now that's low. That's low.

Those bitches, they can speak. They speak Italian and they don't smell good. Oh, I saw, I saw a crow, a black crow. Be careful. I saw a black crow picking up Tupperware outside of my house. It was the strongest crow I've ever seen. Keep going. That's a bionicle. That's the strongest crow I've ever seen. Keep going. That's a bionicle.

That's not a crow. That is a fake bird and you look like you're about to shit your pants. Santa's hot. Santa is hot. Good morning. Show me that skirt. No. If I ever went, first off, if I even went to a friend's house, we were close.

I only went to like, I didn't have play dates With like School acquaintances Like if I was going To your house We're locked in I get that So But that rule applies I don't care

But the parents Were the ones that told me Okay Like make yourself at home You're not I'm not making you a sandwich You're no longer a guest I get that

If you want a sandwich You're making it I get that So it was kind of like You know me I gotta eat I get that And this is the big rule

That I think even adults have a problem with if you're going into a room like say their whole family's there or whatever or some of their friends are there you say hi oh my to everybody hates when people but i have a problem with that because i'm socially anxious so if you make eye contact with me my lower half shuts out It doesn't work down here, nothing. You tell me, it's like I got spaghetti-o-knees. Stop winking at me. It's so itchy. It's like I got spaghetti-o-knees.

And everybody's a little iffy about me when I walk in the room, because they're like, he stinks, he's so tall, and there's a lot of hair. Yeah, a lot of hair on all locations. There's this weird odor. There's this weird odor. There's this weird odor. You look like you've been electrocuted. Did you just spit? He put his hat on like backwards.

He looks like an elf now. There's a line right up your head. There you go. Stop that. No. That's not. No. The line is not supposed to be right there.

Right there. There you go. You look awful. No, okay. You know, you gotta say. You know how, I don't know if I was just like dumb. Yeah. Or whatever as a kid.

I literally was so anxious to speak to my friend's parents. I didn't know what to call them. I would literally say, um, excuse me, Jason's mom. I would say that to them. Oh, you're a loser. I didn't know how to say mrs or miss miss whoa miss sanchez whoa i didn't know you would hit the first name even with a miss that's wrong no i never did that i never did that i always messed up because all my parents friends

were divorced and i would say miss that's the dad's name and they'd be like don't do that and i was like i'm confused on why but like i'm gonna walk home now okay and like one thing about me though i'm a big snacker right oh yeah i'm a huge snacker i've always been a snacker be careful don't you say it me too because i've always been a snacker i've i've been i've always been a snacker so it would be hard for me not to go scavenge chips right like like a pretzel is my favorite chip it's always been my favorite chip a pretzel is not even a chip pretz is not even a chip. Pretzel is 100% not a chip. I feel like you just like to debate with me now.

Like that's our thing. I feel like you say stupid shit all the time and you believe it with every ounce in you. How the hell is a pretzel not a chip? Have you ever got a... Actually, you just answered that. How is a pretzel not a chip, Mrs. Claus? The easiest way to say is how is a pretzel a chip? Okay. Why is your neurons firing and

you go put the chip be careful why is that because have you ever gotten one of those big family packs of assorted chips right he's got cheetah oh shut up answer ever got one of those big boxes that says doritos cheetos flamingos lays yeah All that What else is What's always the last one to go? The rolled gold pretzels The pretzels Guess what It's in the chip bag

A pretzel is 100% a cracker It is not a chip It's not a chip at all It's not even made from the same shit that chips are made of What does that mean? The base of it It's a pretzel

What's the base of a pretzel? What's the base of a chip? Chips aren't made of what does that mean the base of it's not it's a pretzel what is it what's the base of a pretzel what's the base of a chip uh chips aren't made of dough dumbass you don't have to knead out dough and then make a pretzel so chips aren't bread hey i didn't work at the chip factory dumbass i don't know you just said chips aren't bread i don't know i'm asking you a question what are they what are they chips oh so i can i can go to the chip factory and be like, can I get the chip beginning? What's the chip beginning? I think corn-based.

It's damn sure not bread. Okay. And it's damn sure not dough. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Say it's the same at the beginning. Say it's the same because we don't know. You're just saying things you don't know. You don't know.

A pretzel is dough. Go to Auntie Anne's and look at her make it, bitch! That's different. That's different. A fluffy pretzel is different from a chip pretzel. Hey, if they leave it in the oven for six hours, it's going to... No. Excuse me.

If they leave it in the oven for six hours, it's going to get hard. No. Just like rolled dough. No, I'm talking about the little ones. The little ones with the salt on them. Dough! Dough! Same dough.

No, listen. You're making my head itch. What do chips come in? What do chips come in? What do chips come in? A bag. What do rolls... That is fucking true. Pringles come in tubes. No, listen. You're making my head itch. What do chips come in? What do chips come in? What do chips come in? A bag. What do you press? What do rolls of bread press?

That is fucking true. Pringles come in tubes. No, okay. I'm talking about the chip boxes. It wouldn't be in there if it wasn't a chip. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So if they put yogurt in there, I'm not going to say that's, you know what I mean? They should just put yogurt in there if they're just putting random shit in the chip box. It's just a box. My left ear went numb. It's just a box. That's all it is. They wouldn't just put random shit in there. There putting random shit in the chip box it's just my left ear went numb it's just a box that's all it is they wouldn't just put random shit in there there's a reason it's because there's a chip they're cousins they're second cousins so they can kiss and it's not weird arkansas hello hello good morning they are cousins they are not one in the same they're not one so they're related though they're family they're related but they're not a chip a pretzel is okay okay there's a difference there's different kinds of pretzels right a cheeto puff is the same thing as

a pretzel what a cheeto puff is the same thing as a pretzel no it is not a cheeto is a chip a cheeto what's a cheeto puff the fluffy one what's the ball it's not what's the ball what's the ball what's a chip you think a cheeto puff You think a Cheeto Puff is a cracker? It's closer to a cracker than a pretzel. How is it closer to a cracker? Because of the texture of it. When you bite a pretzel, what does it go? When you bite a pretzel, what does it go?

Exactly. What happens when you get a Cheeto Puff? Oh, you heard that. What happens when you eat a Dorito? Yeah, what happens when you eat a pretzel? Okay! What happens when you eat steak Dorito. Yeah, what happens when you eat a pretzel? Okay! What happens when you eat steak?

Okay. What happens when you eat cereal? No, it's not! No, it's not! What happens when you eat oatmeal? No, it's not! Oatmeal's not soft! It doesn't crunch, dumbass! I'm not crunching! Steak doesn't crunch? Unless you're putting that bitch in an oven

and leaving it for days! I definitely put steak in an oven before. And leaving it for crunch? Unless you're putting that bitch in an oven and leaving it for days. I definitely put steak in an oven before. And leaving it for days. Unless you're making jerky asswipe. What is jerky? Meat. Not a chip. What do you classify as a chip?

What is the basis of a chip for you then? The chip. You're talking about because it's in the same fucking box. See how you don't answer my questions You just like to argue with me Santa's not a happy camper Santa's not going to get happy pleasure if he keeps it up Chips are not Made of dough

Pretzels are Are you 100% sure on that I'm asking you a question Are you just saying things that you almost believe is true If we went to Auntie Anne's I asked you a question, dog. I am 100%. I am, what the hell?

I am 100% pretzels are made of dough. Because I've seen it. Hey. With my eyes. What life did you live before here? Where you were at the pretzel factory? Hey, maybe once there was a long line in Auntie Anne's and instead of... That's what I'm saying.

That's where you're wrong. You're talking about Auntie Anne's. That's fluffy. That's carnival food. It's a fucking pretzel. No, I'm talking about the Rolls Gold ones. What are they called? It's Rolled Gold.

Rolled Gold. Not Rolls Gold. Have you ever gone to Auntie Anne's and opened out a bag like this? You ever done that to a bag? All right, so it's not. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when you go like that. It's in a chip bag.

Tell me one reason a pretzel is a chip outside that they're sold in the same bag. Crunch the same. They crunch the same. And it's put in a box of chips and it's in the chip aisle. It's in the chip aisle. Pretzels are in the chip aisle. You know what else is on the chip aisle? Pistachios. Are those chips? No, it's not. No, it is not.

That is in the protein aisle. Nuts and beef jerky aren't on the chip aisle. No, it's in the health aisle with the protein powders. Where do you shop at? Whole market? No. Whole Foods? You go to Kroger, Target, anywhere.

There's that line that has all the- Rice cakes are on the chip aisle. Are those chips? No, that's not. What grocery store do you go to, Air One, you bougie bitch? You said there was shelved bacon in the past i don't know what i got a bastard they do and i got proven that i get i got proven that nice sentence oh sorry i went to private school because my parents were rich i'm sorry i never

went to sorry i got a lasik surgery when i was six years old never had lasik sorry i know that something made of dough and something not made of dough we're not the same thing cam's on steroids excuse me no i'm not no i'd be much bigger if i was on steroids hey nice hat asshole and i you too you look like my grandma before i love her i miss her a lot but it's fact she would like the joke bro no you actually you have me a pretzel is not a chip it's not you don't know anything about shit about nothing tell Tell me one reason. I'm not having this debate anymore because you're not answering my question. I answered you.

You said tell me why it's not. I said dough. It looks like Spider-Man just shot a web in your mouth when you did that. What? You fucking swallowed it. Oh my God. What was I supposed to do with it? Put it in my hand?

Spit it out. Oh, okay. That's the thing about you. You see, you're so contradictory. You're so contradictory because every week I spit and I get a call from you i get a call from live i get a call from my mom i get a call from my dad i get a call from your mom that was really fast and yes they stopped spitting and so when i swallow carpet first off you chose to you creep i had to why i've been waking up gagging on myself i can't remember the last...

You need CPAP. You're saying these medical terms, bro? What did you not do, bro? You went to the X-Men school. You know everything, don't you? Golly, bro. Just say, I don't know. I don't know something.

God damn. Dude, you make me itch on Christmas. It's Christmas. People are with their family. Oh, speaking of Christmas. I hope you're enjoying itch on Christmas It's Christmas People are with their family Oh speaking of Christmas I hope you're enjoying The good pretzel crackers At your Christmas

Chips It's in the chip box Matter of fact I think some of them Literally say cracker on the back The snack I think they literally say cracker You think

There you go Thank you You don't know Fact check No I'm gonna talk about Christmas I don't wanna talk about this anymore I don't wanna talk about this anymore

You're 100% honest They don't say pretzel I know I don't say shit that I don't know I say stuff this anymore You're 100% honest they don't say pretzel? I know I don't say shit that I don't know I say stuff that I know But you're speaking as if you do know it Because I'm saying the things I know So do they say pretzel?

I don't know Let's talk about Christmas And there's something that pisses me off right And I haven't got this experience in a while But now that I live in a home I'll start getting it God Samson needs your inhaler I was trying to I really was trying to gauge And I haven't got this experience in a while, but now that I live in a home, I'll start getting it. Are you out of breath? Yeah. God, Santa needs your inhaler.

I was trying to, I really was trying to gauge. I said, is he, is he out of breath right now? No, Santa's been running around. Hey, here we go. That was a long hole, dog. You were an Olympian. Of course you were. What'd you do?

You were an Aquarian, too? God damn. Yeah, Lee. Kim got his fishing license last weekarian, too? God damn. Yeah, Lee. Kim got his fishing license last week. Didn't you? No. Yeah, dude. I went fishing once.

Kim also went to basic training with SEAL Team 6. I left my... Listen, Christmas lights, right? Okay. It's a magical thing. Christmas lights are special. God, Lee, Mrs. Claus, why so high? It's like a set up prim and proper. Thank you. Cross your legs for me. show me a little thigh show daddy a little thigh

dude honestly if we were in a zombie apocalypse right and they talked about this on too many talks if they were on a zombie apocalypse i would turn on you after a while why you'd hold us back matter of fact you'd be the only i would be the only reason you're alive no because you have the best meat not like that i mean like if wow like if we need hello like if we had to turn on each other if we if we had to turn on each other right and we had i'd eat your dog first i'd kill her snap her neck take her legs off put it on a grill i'd kill your dog then i would be like if we had to start going towards humans you'd be dead Then I would be like, if we had to start going towards humans, you'd be dead before you took your first bite. If we had to start going towards humans, right?

No one would want to eat me. You eat me. You get poisoned. Yeah. You eat him. You get fucking rotten flesh, bad meat on the bone. There's not much meat at all.

Just sticky, pointy bones, really hairy skin. It would not be a good option. It wouldn't be a good course. But after I looked at your thigh, you probably have the purest meat. I do. You probably have the healthy meat. I do have healthy meat. I would cut your, I would not be a good outfit. It wouldn't be a good course. But after I looked at your thigh, you probably have the purest meat. I do. You probably have the healthy meat.

I do have healthy meat. I would cut your Would you let me cut your leg in a zombie apocalypse to eat you? Absolutely not. But you know you'd live. Absolutely not. But we need it to eat. I'll go find food. We can't. We're an underground bunker. We go out, there's radiation gas. Okay, you're not cutting my leg.

So you'd rather your whole family and friends kaput than us eat your leg? Why can't I eat yours? We just said it. I have nasty meat. I'm good for a little choke.

The fact that I was gonna say gag but I switched to choke and I thought I'd make it into dinner. I'm good for a little nasty meat. Some salt and pepper on that joint. Why can't we team up and figure out the problem?

See, you're so quick to turn. That's something about you. You're a fast turner. You turn quick. In the car as well. Oh, my God. In the car today. You're quick.

Oh, my God. Santa had a bad sleigh ride up here. When I tell you Santa almost shot Rudolph in the skull with a.22, I shit you not. Guys, we are literally not in costume. We're just driving. We are going down the road, right? We actually have been stuck for like 30 minutes of traffic. It was horrible. I swear to God out of nowhere. We're just talking. Yeah, bro. No, that's crazy. I actually think I should call in a rock. Just shattered his Tesla again. We were silent. Again.

He has three cracks in his windshield now. And it goes, this is how it goes. Every time I schedule an appointment for like $1,400 to fix it. No, the first one. Tell him the first one. The first time it got cracked. He calls appointment. They're like, it'll be about a thousand on the dot to fix this big crack.

We'll get you good. There you go. Because then it went up and down to three more. And so I'm i'm about to go get it fixed right i schedule the appointment and then again wham i get another crack i'm like jesus at least i didn't get that one fixed and i just pay more you call them they're like yeah it's actually 14 now you're like what happened to my quote yeah and then so i've been looking to get it fixed now and then today we literally once it got cracked today i started crying it was i should have took a picture it was so funny i felt so bad because i'd like i would be pissed if that happened in

my car but god i was like oh my god that's just your luck he was crying in the middle of traffic oh my god it was so funny but do you think this is a conspiracy and i want to get into a actually i was talking about christmas lights this Actually, I was talking about Christmas lights! This is what I was talking about. So Christmas, right? When is too early to put up Christmas lights, and when is too late... Santa's going to have a stroke. When is too late to take them down?

Is that what I'm trying to say? Yes. When are the parameters? When is an acceptable parameter for Christmas lights? Putting up and putting down. The start date, in my book, it's not even subjective. When are the parameters? When is an acceptable parameter for Christmas lights? Putting up and putting down. The start date, in my book, it's not even subjective. It is literally an objective date.

Okay. You cannot put your Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving. Thank you. You cannot. Thanksgiving Day, that's your go-to. As soon as you eat, if you don't Black Friday shop, hell, you can go take your nap and start putting them up right now. Get up to the attic. That's fine. We'll get them out.

If it is on an hour a second before thanksgiving meal is had you're in the wrong period now i might be crazy i'm about taking them down you go first i went first first of all hey if it's july and you got a lit up reindeer in your front yard i'm calling the police dog yeah that's an hoa violation 100 swat's gonna kick down the door i'm gonna need those ho like your inflatable snowman. Really cool. You spent $300 for it to be up for a month. Take it down, though.

It's not us. Hey, man, how's it going? On the snowman. So, this is my thing. I'm really nervous about what you're about to say. I start to get a little upset when it's four days out of Christmas, and I'm still seeing stuff. That's a little early, but I'm ready.

We're on the new year. New year, new you. Get out. Four days? Four days. That's a bit much. It's crazy. That's a bit much. But I would say there's like, on day seven after Christmas, Christmas is over. The holly jolly spirit's done. You know what I mean?

It should be. Oh, it is. The spirit is. So why is that up? Because it's like, that's, I'm not going to lie. You wouldn't be the best to argue that. Why? If it went to your personal life. Why? Why is that trash there?

What do you mean? Wait, don't touch me. What do you mean? What did I do? You said Christmas is over? Put the lights up. Yeah. I'm like, hey, you ate that Chipotle last year.

Why is the bowl still there there's a fermented biome of bacteria that's not true that's not you've gotten a lot i've gotten a lot better because i have an adequate trash system now there you do yeah we do yeah don't touch me okay well uh four days is a bit aggressive this is that's mildly aggressive yeah but this is the thing now with me i actually have a fridge that's big You do. I don't have that one column anymore fridge. Oh my God. I'm having a hard time of taking things out of the fridge because I want that space to be utilized.

You can tell them what's in there. I was just about to say. Patreon or tell them here. You tell them here. Y'all, if you open this man's fridge, bottle of ranch, six pizza boxes, two of which are bone dry. There's nothing in it.

Just cardboard in a fridge. You know the tray that comes out for your veggies or your meats and cheeses? He just has two to-go boxes in there from miscellaneous restaurants. Top left sector, there's a 24-pack of Red Bull. I didn't know they made those. I did not know they sold 24 Red Bulls at once. Below that, seltzers. I mean, it is unbelievable, this man's fridge.

Because I've never had that luxury. I've never had that luxury. Oh my God, your pantry's not better. I don't have anything in my pantry. I don't know what it's like. Your pantry is literally cereal, Minute Maid mashed potatoes, and 47 different chips to choose from. Like pretzels.

It's literally the Idaho spuds that you just add a drop of water and you whip it up. A box of cereal. He doesn't even have milk. And 60 things of chips. You didn't have milk. I don't have almond milk in my right side, in my right corner pocket.

I didn't see it. Isn't that crazy? How you're willing to defile me on the internet? I didn't see it. You defile me in the bedroom. And then you defile... When are these going to stop? I don't know.

You're wearing that dress real good. I am. I'm going to take that apron off you. No, I need to see someone. For what? Oh, my God. Hippie is back. We were leaving the mall.

Cam literally limped. I had to carry him One arm Out of the mall It was right Right in the middle Of a fan interaction Yeah And it was like a real fan

That they knew the hippie jokes Basically we literally left And I was trying to make fun Of how he was walking And immediately God doesn't like Arlie He doesn't like Arlie? Tiff

My head is so itchy God doesn't like Arlington. He doesn't like Arlington? My head is so itchy. Oh my God. Oh my God. Keep that fucking head on. Check his... Or I'm coming! I'm coming! That's not funny.

That's not funny. I meant to say God doesn't like ugly and karma struck immediately. I was making fun of his walk. And in doing so, my hip went out of socket. I was in immense pain. The second we're walking, I'm like, ah, ah. They're like, Peyton and Cam. Oh, my God.

Mrs. Claus is wet. Get the camera off me. Get the camera off me. Dude, you're gross. Honestly, you've been smelling really bad recently. That's because I didn't shower yesterday. Oh, my God. Oh, let's talk about that.

Cam, so live had a girls night with uh hannah and ashlyn they all did their thing cam and ryan and danny all came and stayed with me we're gonna have an extended episode with them uh and patreon out right now look cam came over right we were playing 2k drinking it was a little warm in my house but you know we're boys why is it warm in your house no but it's it's it was a little warm in my house you know boys we're playing games we're playing vidya games we're drinking a little warm in my house. But you know, we're boys. Why is it warm in your house? No, but it was a little warm in my house. You know, boys, we're playing games. We're playing vidya games. We're drinking a little seltzer.

Shout out to Nectar, our friends over there. We're playing a little vidya games. We're farting and shitting our pants. You know what I mean? I'm getting a little powdered donuts. Armie, man, just farting a little bit. And then it gets to that point in the night when the alcohol is flowing. You're having fun times.

And then you're playing a little UFC, right? You've seen Israel Adesanya get knocked seven times in a row and you're like, I want to do that. Peyton said, you can beat me in this game, but you can't beat me in real life. So we start to wrestle. Honestly, I am better than you, but you're just way more than me. You have better lungs than me. That's it.

That's it. Literally, I was controlling you and then you were like, let me use my pure hip size and lay it on your frail body. To make a long story short, I ended in the most physically dominant position you could be. Normally he mounts me with. You never threw elbows. Oh, no, I never had to. Anyway, so we were wrestling, right?

We're getting a little stanky. We're getting a little sweaty. We're getting a little nasty. And then Ryan comes in. He wrestles Ryan for a little bit. Now we're sweating and wet and gross. Cam had on sweatpants and a t-shirt. It was bad, bro.

I don't know what came over me. We go out that night. We're drinking. We're having fun. I was nasty. We're in public sweating. Full 24 hours go by. The girls come back.

They are all done up looking real pretty, smelling like roses and butterflies and Bambi. Cam has on the same outfit. And he smells like. Bro, the worst thing is, I mean, this is a literal gut punch. When your wife walks in, her friends are there, right? They're my friends, too. They're not her friends.

They're my friends, too. It's like, hey, you look great. Hey, you look great. Awesome. Hey, babe, I love you. I haven't seen seen you the first words that came out of his mouth you stink and it is it's literally just like a gut punch and we're no we were driving here today we were driving the studio today that's bull that's bullshit that had to be the fart or the almonds you smelled like the color yellow it was either fart or the almonds. I bathed. I put deodorant.

I did everything. No, but you have this thing about you where like if you, I don't know, like you smell like outdoors. You know what I mean? You don't smell fresh. You smell like you spent a day on the river fishing. I smell like Boy Scout. You smell like you caught a bass and you've kept it in your backpack. I smell like I just learned how to do an amazing knot. No, that, excuse me. That was a rough time. I'm like I just learned how to do an amazing knot. No, that, excuse me.

That was a rough time. I'm not going to lie. Honestly, but I think you're getting nastier than me. I think I was just about to give you a compliment, you dirty bitch. I think you are, what's going on? I don't know what's going on in the backseat. I was about to give you a compliment. Oh, about what?

You dirty, rude asshole, and you just made fun of me. Wait, what was your compliment? I was going to say you've been starting to smell a lot better. I know, I've been bathing in cologne cologne you have but it's an investment though it is it is an investment i have two clones now you do they're both very nice but no we were going out the other night and i put on cologne i was feeling good about myself and then we were about to go but we did a little sporting events we did whatever and cam i was like cam was like hey i have 17 colognes do you want to wear one and i go no I just put on cologne. He sniffs me and he goes, no, you probably need some more.

Honest brother answer. Nah, I guess. You had it on for six hours. We were hanging out, doing guy shit, farting, beatboxing, spitting some rhymes, maybe a little wrestle, maybe a little half, you know, headlock. I said, hey, just pick one. He said, I don't want to mix. All right, chemistry.

But since it's Christmas time, I think it's the only right thing to do is help the people out. Okay. I think the love doctor should come. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. You got something for me, Secretary Kim? All right, I think I found one, buddy. You don't sound like my secretary. I think I found one, Sonia. There we go. All right, I need something.

But, okay, I need something toxic. Like, I need, like, I want to help them in a real way, and I want to help them in a toxic way. Because that's what Dr. P does. Once that pelvis starts to pelvic, you know what I mean? Once those hips are swinging. You like my hips, Mrs. Claus. The rope's ringing. I don't. Be careful about the rope.

I think I found one. Alright, here we go. I think I found one. Here we go, Lord. Dear Dr. P. Hello. I was talking to this guy for a few months. Things seemed like they were going good. Okay. All of a sudden, he started just getting dry with his texts. Okay. I asked him if we were good and if he was just busy all right then he ghosted me

some calls him casper ghosted okay was i wrong for asking him that oh no here's the spicy part also how do i make him regret his decision? Oh my God, I love this. Oh, she's coming for hearts. Hold on, you see it. The hips are going. Dr. P is feeling it. Dr. P is feeling it. You're humping the air.

First of all, all right. So they've been talking for some months, right? For some months is her words. I can tell you right now. A few months. I can tell you right now to her, it was exclusive. He was doing his own thing. Let me break that to you right now.

He was out there. He was at a great buffet and you just were the main platter yeah he was getting nice sides he got carrots you smelled good he tried it okay so they were talking for some months talking started getting dry seemed seemed really good all of a sudden he started getting very dry i asked him if we were good and if he was just busy he ghosted me okay this is the thing i'm gonna tell you what it is and i know this because i'm the best love doctor in the world this is very true son he was liking the rhythm that they had months talking right talking maybe doing the canoodles maybe you know y'all are having good vibes good fun little devil tango. You were his favorite.

I talk about this often on Dr. P. There's ranking systems. There is. You were just the favorite at that time. And it hurts to hear, but that's what I'm for. It's like, was she an MVP caliber player? She was. She was a starting point guard.

But then she asked for a contract extension. Now she's not even a six man. Exactly. Role player, vet minimum. So he was fine. He was like, I'm going to ghost you. I'm going to be dry for a little bit because I'm entertaining my Caesar salad right now. Excuse me. My Caesar salad had a lot of croutons on it, and I love croutons.

So he was eating that. He was putting ranch dressing on it. But you were the steak. But let him enjoy that Caesar salad for a little bit. Once you asked that question of like, why are you spending so much time on the appetizer? He said, oh, no. My steak is getting cold. I don't like that.

And he dipped out. Now, what did she do after he ghosted? I don't have, I don't have 2020 on me. No, but didn't she say? She said, was I wrong for asking him?

Also, how do I make him regret his decision? Okay, now this is what I love. And I love you. And I, me, me and you would get along. You and Dr. P would be good in a cocoon together, you know what I mean? Because you have that toxic side to you. I'm a small butterfly about to spread my wings on a spring in April. Don't wink at them. Don't talk to me.

So this is what I'd say. I like that. You get back. You get back. Hopefully, she met the friend group. Oh, God. you're digging deep well if he ghosted you to hell with them piss on him he likes caesar salad better show him your filet mignon show him your filet mignon don't wink at me you go find that best friend you know what i mean you go find that best friend what you do is you throw that crout go find that best friend you know what i mean you go find that best friend

what you do is you throw that crouton to that best friend you'd be like do you like steaks why are you winking at me stop it you flirt with the friend you see if that friend is a bad friend most best friends are bad friends they'll they'll they'll get with they'll get with the ex you know what i mean so what you'll do is flirt with them lightly just flirt be like hey how you doing don't even bring up that guy y'all don't know he exists bring up that guy have some dates don't jump too fast into it bring him in rope him in rope him in with that nice little filet mignon you got show him that butter knife you know what i mean then you get under him what does that mean we've jumped to coitus yeah we've broken if you want if you're

an adult you can do what you want this is dr p this is dr p that's not page it's not uncle p dr p you smooch the best friend you smooch the best friend at the most what does that mean you can kiss under somebody or a spider-man kiss okay you smooch them okay and then you let it be known or oh my god this is the good toxic move you go on a coffee date with that guy if you don't even want to kiss the best friend that's fine you go on a coffee date with the best friend you take a picture of that coffee make sure that friend's hand is in that picture and you post that on your story no caption oh my god he's gonna lose his mind and then he's gonna text you he's gonna be like i shouldn't have got with that caesar salad what are you doing with mind And then he's gonna text you He's gonna be like I shouldn't have got With that Caesar salad

What are you doing With my best friend He's like Damn that steak's Smelling nice And then you'd be like This steak was ordered By somebody else

Good The kitchen then took it To somebody else To another table Oh this shit's Fucking medium Yeah yeah There's a steak shortage

Over here Oh god That's how you do it How do you feel about that Is that a good advice I mean you're the best Love doctor You're the best love doctor

Excuse me You're the best love doctor that's no what would you say how would you go about it you know i'm a gentle heart i'm not i'm not the toxic guy i don't believe revenge so you would say just move on i go he wasn't for you but he hurt her he manipulated you pray for him we don't harbor hate we move on and that's why you're not the best loved doctor in the world and that's why you are and that's why Dr. P

Dr. P Dr. P Dr. P Dr. P another day another beautiful another client satisfied taken care of Dr. P is a of Dr. P another beautiful another client satisfied taken care of

Dr. P is a toxic son of a bitch I do not agree with much he says you're hitting the TV my mic stand is is long but you know

my mic stand and she rocked my mic in the park lift up that skirt for daddy this is what I want to say it is Christmas time Cameron

it is and I think it's only right that I give you a Christmas gift. Absolutely not. In front of the You Should Know podcast. Absolutely not. My heart immediately doubled in beats per minute. I'm very nervous. I've been nervous this whole Dr. P segment because I know what's about to happen.

Why are you? Why are you? Shout out to our friends at Nectar. We got to do this together all right uh i don't think i feel good i don't i'm shaking i'm about to gag it's right i feel like right before the la live i'll need an ambulance all right cam oh uh let's get serious for a minute this is a comedy podcast but all right bitch but you are my best friend in the whole world. Yep. You have single-handedly changed my life by joining this. This is way too many good words before a, like, give me like a jersey or something.

Lift up your skirts falling. No, no, on the thing. Excuse me. You single-handedly changed my life joining this podcast. And I'm very bad at emotionally expressing that with words. So, it is Christmas time and we have been blessed enough to be put in a position I can get you a Christmas gift. My cap's getting tired.

So I want to get you a Christmas gift right now. Am I closing my eyes? No. Oh, God almighty. Why does he do this? It's a heavy bag. Koalas, why does he do this? My head's just fucking itching.

Santa Claus got you a gift. That's the worst Christmas bag I've ever seen. That's something you give to like Delilah on her 8th birthday at like 21 Jump House. Who's Delilah? I don't know. Here we go. We're both so nervous. Here you go. Here's your gift. Now open it up slow, right? Open it up slow.

It's heavy. It's a heavy gift. I love you. I can't. I can't. I love you. I want you to enjoy this gift. I can't I love you I want you to enjoy this gift I can't do it You can Open up this gift Open it up on your lap

On your lap So the camera can see it Just take the wrapping out Take the wrapping out All of it Now pick up that Pick up that box No you didn't

Tell them what you see Put the mic close to you This is this is okay this is some this is some mike kennedy shit this is 100 not what the gift is there's something in this box open it up tell him what you see this what is that so this is an off-white shoe box i got him some off-white shoes expensive fish oh oh i know you Oh, oh, I know you, you serpent. Look at him. He's not even trying. I'm so nervous. Open it up. It wouldn't have been that easy. Open it up towards the camera.

I can't see it. I don't know what it is. Look at it. Look at your off-white shoes. It's like my most beat-up pair of shoes. Show them the camera. Show the camera. I gave him my old Air Forces.

We've had great memories while I'm wearing those shoes. Thanks. I'm like, awesome gift. You're playing the slow game. It's making it worse. Don't throw those shoes. I don't want to open this shoe. This one has the wrapping, and I don't want to open it.

Okay, but be very careful whenever you take that. Pick that whole shoe up and be very careful. Put your cap back on. Please put your cap back on. Please put your cap back on. Now, I want you to pick up the whole shoe, right? Pick up the whole shoe. There's a little something special in that one.

Now, very carefully grab that whole red thing. That whole thing. This shoe is f***ed. Like, look at this. This shoe is mutilated. All right, Kier. I'm so nervous. And he's not even looking me in the eye.

I'm so nervous. Oh, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this, bro. I'm very bad at giving gifts. Here we go. I'm undeserving. All right. Carefully open that.

Okay. Now, as you do it, I want to say you're my best friend in the world. I love you, and thank you for everything you've done. And that's a small token of my appreciation for you. I don't like the size. My mind is starting to race. Just don't guess. Just open and enjoy.

Make sure the camera sees. Make sure we get it. I'm starting to Kim I got you Open it up Bro why Open it up

Just open it up I got Kim his first ever Rolex Oh my god Bro I am undeserving. I'm about to throw up. Yeah. I got you first ever Rolex. I know you would never get that for yourself. Uh, bro, why would you do this? So now we can be twins. I'm literally shaking. My hand is shaking. I'm shaking too.

I love you, buddy. I hope you enjoy it. My hand is shaking. Bro. Oh my God. Thank you so much. Yeah, no problem, man. You're going to have to get it sized on you, but...

Cam is now in the Rolex family. Come here, man. I love you, buddy. Jesus Christ. Why would you do that? I love you buddy Oh I don't deserve this at all

Yes you do Yes you do Apple Watch is Apple Watch is about my level Oh my god I can't even Yeah I'm

I can't like breathe right I can't look I can't breathe right I'm very nervous My heart hurts Oh my god It's stunning though Yeah Shout out to Vukom Vukom has been helping me out a lot In this process Vukom I'm very nervous. My heart hurts. Oh, my God. It's stunning, though.

Yeah. Shout out to Vukom. Vukom has been helping me out a lot in this process. Vukom, you dirty dog. Yeah. You got your first ever little time piece there. Oh, my God. One more time for Cam getting his first Rolex.

No, no, no, no. One more time for Uncle P on the fucking gift of the century. No, no, no. One more time for Uncle P on the fucking gift of the century, I think. No, no problem. Bro, that's like way... I'm going to put it in your jewelry box. Oh, if you do that, I'll kill you and everybody you love. I'm literally going to be like, bro... No, you're going to wear that every day. If you don't have it, that's too dangerous.

Every time I see him, I'll be like, show me your wrist. Bro. Yeah, yeah, enjoy it. No shit. I'm like, I don't even feel like I want to even touch it. Literally, I'm like, this is too. You own it, so. Bro.

I'm shaking. I'm nervous. I'm shaking like shit. Oh, my God. Why? What's the name of it so I can say it? It's a Rolex Datejust yeah hit that little uh yeah and now music's gonna start hitting a little different for you

I'm like what? I'm like what? yo yeah I gave you like a classier one that's like it gave me very cam vibes when i was going through them 100 i'm putting in your jewelry box if you put in my jewelry box i'll kill you bro why it's gonna be an indeed.com for co-hosts you should know podcast this is this is like this is no it's happened. It's yours.

No, don't, okay, don't. No, I know you like it. For y'all, I'm also, like, I am a giver. We're both more, like, we enjoy giving gifts over receiving. So it's definitely easier for me to, like, get something for someone else and give it to them. And I love that because, like, it's just an amazing feeling. But receiving them, bro, it's like, damn, like, I don't, it's just an amazing feeling but receiving them bro it's like damn like i don't it's just wild um santa claus is not done though we have another integral part of the you should know

podcast now it's not now i'm gonna break it to you it's not that i can he's like no no santa's santa's bank account is hurting bro but uh mama live HBIC can you make it to the middle here she can sit here yeah okay sit here okay I love you buddy all right now I feel like for like being like a brat about like oh no you're fine it's a it's a very small gift it's a small gift but here you go i hope everything's right because if not mrs claus tell me a lot we gotta take care of mama live okay I had to get you right yeah I had to get you right now check the signs cuz Santa might have fucked up I don't know Santa might have fucked up but Santa has the receipt Santa can go back

these are seven youth which I believe is an eight and a half in women. Santa fucked up. Santa has the receipt, and Santa will get those in your size. Are you sure? It could fit. You could double sock it. No, I'm just kidding. No, you don't know.

I can try them on. You never know. No, no, it's fine. I made sure I had the receipt just for that, so we're fine. We can go back. Thank you, Payne. It's the place where I'm at. No problem. One it's fine I made sure I had the receipt just for that so we're fine we can go back it's it's the place where I was no problem one more time for you should know Christmas hey okay oh get switch y'all switch y'all switch again no problem

okay I have we have to get it sized. I'm slowly. No, yeah. Well, of course, you gotta get it sized. But this is. I have a place. I had no. I'm gonna talk to them about it. Oh, you have a place. Oh, yeah.

I wonder why you have a place. Nice. Okay. I have slowly. My heart has dropped back to semi-regular. Okay. So I can speak a little more on it now. This is a unbelievable gift.

And I truly don't like can't fully express it but just know this is like unreal yeah you know you can't look at me in the eyes whenever we're talking about serious shit yeah you suck with emotions but uh bro this is unreal like this is it's i literally feel and this is stupid and I don't ever really say this, but I don't like, I don't feel cause you know me like, yeah, I love that these things, but you said it perfectly. I would never,

I just can't stomach it to get it for myself. Exactly. So bro, damn. Well, it's yours. You have it forever. That's a watch.

I will ask you for the rest of your life. You pass it to your kids one day. So I'm literally going to like every night when I go to bed, I'm just like, just like, get her nice and ready for the morning. Bro.

Yeah. You got your first Rolex, buddy. That's insane. That is, that's literally insane. Yeah, it's dope. Holy shit. And thank you to the

You Should Know Podcast family for allowing us to be able to do cool things like that. Yes, thank you to all of you. Koala Club members, non-koalas, anybody, anybody that's following on any platform, thank you to all of you. Koala Club members, non-koalas, anybody that's following on any platform,

thank you all so, so much. Okay, wait, no, no. Sorry, go ahead. Don't, this is, I'm not going to say we, he's already received his Christmas gift. Don't think I'm just a bad bitch. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I've been taken care of by the Kennedys. And it was crazy the gift that they gave me.

I was thinking about it 30 minutes before and I was telling him, I thought about it 30 minutes before because I was trying to do something and i couldn't due to i didn't have the thing i don't know if you want to say it bro i can't i can't even look at this what's yours gonna look at it every day it's gonna take me oh my god it's gonna take me some time yeah shout out to vukum one more time yeah taking care of this um also to help us recover from this uh tampa tickets are live right now The link is in the description below.

We're going to be in Tampa February 17th. We can all enjoy a great post-birthday together. And then Austin, we're coming home, or I'm coming home March 1st, and those tickets are coming out soon. You do the outro. I can't even talk right now. I'm f***ed up.

Thank you so much. Yeah, no problem, bro. I look, you want to get it. Oh, you have to get your haircut your haircut i was like i want to get it sized before we go out tonight and i want you to just i'm just like bro this is unbelievable anybody want an apple watch i'm just like no um no definitely i won't wear this to the gym wait do you wear them to the gym or is that like is that like you're just a douche at that point? I mean, you could, but I mean, you can like swim in that. You can take a shower in it, but I've never done it with mine.

All right, guys. This was a fantastic Christmas episode. First and foremost, we hope all of you have been safe this holiday season. We hope all of you have spent time with some loved ones, whether that's families, friends, significant others, anything. Make sure you cherish them. Make sure you tell them you love them and spend some time with them this holiday season. We hope you had a merry, merry

Christmas. This was episode 92. Get your good karma and confuse the casuals with this week's secret code. This comes out on Christmas. Let's keep it simple. M Merry. C Christmas. E let's keep it simple m mary c christmas e everyone there you go merry christmas everybody

we love you so much we hope you had a great christmas um happy new year we're approaching on episode 100 episode 100 be a movie they don't even know wait did we already tell them did we already we haven't told them what we're doing. We told them we have some crazy stuff playing. That might be like a two-hour episode. We love you guys so much. Thank you for allowing us to do cool things like this. Tampa, we can't wait to see you February 17th.

Austin, March 1st. The boy is coming back home, back in his stomping grounds. He pissed excellence in that town for 22 years. Damn it. He's not going to stop now. Austin, March 1st. Remember, the Tampa tickets are available now. Austin tickets are not, but the date is confirmed.

So if you need to start making planes, trains, boats, floats, I don't care how you get there. It's March 1st. We cannot wait to see you. We love you guys. And remember, hey, this is the perfect day to say it. One out of two Claude Bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas.