You Should Know Podcast - TASTING SCORPION VENOM -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

LIMITED LIVE SHOW SHIRT: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com PATREON AVAILABLE NOW: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 SNAPCHAT: https://t.snapchat.com/rbfrNcAG Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code PSH at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod 0:00 LIVE SHOW MERCH 2:35 CAM JOINS 6:43 Who Has The WORST DIET 13:35 Peyton’s Foot Tricks 16:14 Eye Contact Vomit 19:44 Cam Loves Peyton’s Back 23:22 AIRPORT ANXIETY 28:39 Driving Intrusive Thoughts 30:08 Peyton’s RITUALS 36:58 Kangaroo Dogs 39:46 Escaping the Awkward 44:12 GROCERY STORE HORROR 52:36 Peyton’s World Knowledge 1:01:16 POP CULTURE 1:06:57 VENOM TONGUE 1:09:06 ANNOUNCEMENT YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R GRAB SOME MERCH: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You should know. I audibly said, oh my God, you coughed on that man. And I took off again. I took off. And I literally said out loud. And I was laying down, right? But it made my tongue hard. You would suck my tongue? I would do it.

Would you open your eyes or close them? The You Should Know Podcast. I feel like it's summertime. I got some linen pants on and some new sunglasses. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 63. Round of applause, please. Yes. Yes. Fantastic. Yes. Yes.

Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. A lot of extra commotion going. Guys, let me apologize for the intro last week. I know I confused some of the viewers, some of the listeners. I said episode 63 last week. I was just so excited to get to episode 63 because I feel like this is going to be the

best episode we've ever recorded. And I want you guys to follow along the journey. If you're new here, if you haven't already, look below. You see that subscribe button isn't pressed. You're wrong. If you look even more below there, you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. We got an announcement i know a lot of you have heard that the live show june 30

of dallas texas southside music hall is sold out which oh it still is sorry about that they get everybody who's bought a ticket but guess what if you want to be a part of the experience if you can't make it guess what you can still support and if you're coming to the show there's a way you can wear a uniform we have limited edition live show merch that is available right now for one week only for seven days this merch will be available and then gone forever get it right now you can wear it to the live show and if you're not coming to the live show you can just wear it on june 30th and know that you are there in spirit guys this is just a nice shirt to wear to support we can all be in uniform at the live show here's a burp oh that tasted like a little bit of salmon a little bit of peanut butter a little bit of a little bit of energy drink guys this link to the shirt is

available below make sure to go join that koala club that patreon co-host cam has added some new vlogs some new stuff 10 minute talks i'm telling you patreon is on the up and up go and join that join the discord have fun in the watch party talk to us and now enjoy the rest of the episode you should know podcast the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Give me a great one. We got co-hosts! I'm fired up, dog. I don't know what it is.

I don't know if it's because it's 85 degrees outside. It's really not high. I wanted to say, I want it to be much higher. Scooby, Scooby, Scooby. I'll do what I want, actually. It's funny.

Come on, dad. No, I'll do what I want. Are you alright, dog? We's funny. Come on, Dad. No, I'll do what I want. Are you all right, dog? We got co-hosts, Cam. Rockin' Audemars. Yeah. All my rockin' rolly Audemars protect. Bust down, Thotiana.

Bust down, Thotiana. Copyright. Copyright. We're not getting paid for this episode. Scoot up for us. Scoot up. Hey, I actually have an idea. What?

I always sit down with my pants right up, and y'all always get on me in the comments. Ooh, if you had long legs, too, your pants would ride up, too. Hey, Cam, how about us? Hey, how many stores can we walk into and purchase a pair of jeans that fit our body from there? Not from their online inventory of extra large sizes. You gotta go to the expensive stores. How many stores can we walk into, try on a pair of jeans, they fit, and we walk out? You gotta go to the expensive stores.

Hmm. What's up, bud? Good. Honestly, Cam? I said, what's up? what's up you said good wait what's the answer i said what's up you said good that's like again level one human it's like you it's like you've never interacted with me what's up good that's like what six-year-olds say at like a camp dude you just what's up uh what's up dallas good like that's literally what the little kids say, and you know that is. Dude, honestly, you act like a six-year-old.

Oh, oh my God. I had the intrusive thoughts. My inner beings told me, and there's multiple, that's why I said beings. Okay. My inner beings just told me to literally pounce on you and physically harm you after that thing. Don't open your legs. Come here. Let's look at his linen pants. He always a good you know what I'm gonna give you your

flowers these hands were just in my testicles smell your hand after this wait what smell your hands now no it smells like you you'll smell like my manhood you'll smell like my most vulnerable position I'll smell like your little guy I smell like you're Okay, what are you doing? It's everyone's... That's what you say. I'll smell... What do you want me to say?

I'll smell like your third leg. Smell like my tripod. I'll smell like your human tripod. You sick bastard. Okay, here we go. I'm going to give Uncle P his flowers real quick. Because one thing he does, he always does for me,

and it's not satire or sarcasm or anything. Very nervous. He truly always tells me, hey, you look good today, bro. You put it on today. But as we all know, his clothes are simply better than mine. So I want to say today that he looks good. I like the outfit. I like the linen pants.

He's getting that Pablo Escobar. Take it off of me. That John Varvatos, you know, that real real smooth shit you're getting that type of vibe today the linen pants a lot of ankles showing i like that i like ankles giving beach that's a yeah it's giving sand is near and all that's near is potholes and grease outside but a lady tripped on a pothole outside god a woman guys a woman tripped i hope she's all right. It was like a business cruise. You could tell she was embarrassed. It was like five people

walking back from their lunch break and she just ate it. Yeah, like right on the crosswalk. Like the crosswalk. There wasn't a dip or anything. She just said, oh, and just fell. Wham!

Right, Lisa? It was kind of like your fault. Shout out to my mom. Oh my God, I might tell that story. No, tripping in front of people is so degrading. It's irresponsible.

Okay, but you don't have, that's one thing you lack, is empathy. I lack empathy. Olivia, I lack empathy. You have a soft spot for the people you love. If you don't know them, you lack empathy. That's not true. Yes, Cam.

That's not true at all. Cam, you're a nice guy. I will walk up to any person in the world, start talking to them, and if they have a problem, I immediately feel for them and try to give them solutions and just be there for them. But as soon as you leave, you'll be like, that person's a piece of shit. I never say that. Tripping, though, is just simply irresponsible. Unless there's a foreign object or a third party that has intervened with your walk pattern,

if you just trip over yourself, it's irresponsible. I've already been on the soapbox before. We'll have to disagree on that. But can I get back to exposing you? Well, I was giving you flowers, but- I appreciate you. So I said nice things, and now you're saying mean things, but sure. Go.

No, I'm honest with you. Pretty cool. I like it. Pretty cool. You do behave like a kid sometimes. There you go. You got to behave like a kid sometimes. Well.

Can I tell you how? Yeah, please enlighten me. Your diet is that of a kid. My diet is that of a kid. Just because I have snacks doesn't mean I'm a kid. No, my diet's of a kid? Yes. If people watched what you ate, they would think your sole form of transportation is a car seat in the back of like a 98 Corolla.

You eat like a literal strapped-in child. Can we go to McDonald's again? You got McDonald's money? Oh, yeah. Oh, then if you have McDonald's money, why don't you eat healthy good foods and, you make your body stronger oh i don't want to that's okay you know what i'll be more specific towards you you're either 12 or 82 with your diet i cannot tell that's better kim i don't understand how you can go home and put cold ham on on regular bread and just eat that and then put and then have potato chips on the side grow up so you so you don't understand

how i can go home and have the american dream of a lunch if there is one lunch that screams america it is a turkey sandwich with cheese and some that's so boring what do you want me to do make a a creme brulee at 2 p.m well i want a sandwich bro you but you eat like that all the time. You eat like you always got out of the pool. You've been on land. Those hit. Those hit. Of course they did. That's your diet. When you're swimming and you pop out to a Capri Sun and Doritos.

Oh, my God. Dude, Cam, but it pisses me off. Yeah, I'm not near a body of water and I do eat like that. So, but what is wrong with a turkey sandwich? How is your, bro, your mouth has to be dry and sticky. Answer me. What's wrong with a turkey sandwich? What's wrong with it? It makes me gag. And and i'm the kid you can't eat a turkey sandwich no

insert that one meme he said a muff uh uh he said i couldn't eat it cold no but you understand that's childish or very old you eat like it's old or young about a turkey sandwich you you eat like you have it no no you say it well exactly when i was young i used to go stay a week at my grandma's house i'd pack my game system very miscellaneous clothes they never matched because i was young and didn't care about it i'd go to grandma's for a week every single day this is a sick ass thing i might say every single day i would make a lunch that consisted of a bologna fold over. It's one piece of bread, two pieces of bologna, you fold it down the middle. Here's the worst part, I made two of them. So why didn't I just make a regular sandwich?

I don't know. But I had two bologna fold overs, I had original Lay's potato chips, sharp cheddar cheese cut right off the block, baby dill pickles, and original Lay's chips, cracked open with an ice cold diet coke, I'd walk back to her computer room, I'd play Club Penguin and listen to T-Pain Bartender. And then my rotation was I would open another tab,

I'd play Millsbury and I'd listen to Baby Bash Cyclone. You got your movement like a cyclone. And she made me wanna do it all night long. Go hard. Yeah, it was a sick time, bro. It was a crazy ass. And the fact is that Cam is still like that. Cam came to the studio the other day with a lunch pail.

We were here for hours grinding. It consisted of Pringles and gelatin. I did not have gelatin. And juice. My exact same. Cam's 84. I had a Gatorade Zero, a 12-ounce Gatorade Zero. I had a spicy chicken ramen noodle soup thing.

I had a Black Forest gummy bear pouch, a Robert Irvine Fit Crunch protein bar. And the last thing, if I'm not mistaken, was a triple berry zero fat zero sugar added oikos Yogurt, okay, if you eat like you just got out of surgery No my favorite breakfast choice slash dessert sometimes Definitely gives surgery vibes oatmeal 100. Oh my god, bro. Okay, you eat like an adolescent or somebody that's on their way out You know you eat like you're in a home. You enjoy smoothies, too. That's like their way out. You know what I'm saying? You eat like you're in a home. I do enjoy smoothies too.

That's like straw thing. That's another old thing. Are your teeth real? Yeah, they're real. They're good. They're solid. Dense bone. All right.

Well, you eat like you're stuck in like a 12 year old purgatory. Like all you know is Diet Coke and fast food. That's not healthy. It's not financially healthy either yet you do it every single day of the week seven days in a row okay it makes me happy when you die they're simply gonna say i don't think anything really happened to him it's just 40 years of grease and fast food that's all it's going to be no i wake up with a headache now but it doesn't matter it's because you're you're literally like you're fiending for diet coke like you're strung out from sugar and grease diet coke has no sugar you think diet coke has no sugar that's what the diet is no oh no you think diet

coke has no sugar okay at least i'm not eating like kim oh healthy foods just because they're warm and mushy means i'm old and decrepit? You never know. Yes, you never know when it's your last day. Enjoy some of it. I enjoy the shit out of oatmeal. Kim, since birth, you shouldn't eat a sandwich and you're like, are fighting to chew it. Like there's bread stuck on the roof of your mouth.

I don't know what sandwiches you've consumed. Mine are very good. Bread, turkey, cheese, lettuce. That's it. Oh my God. where's the flavor there's not a ton of flavor but it's good and then you talk healthy and it's good and then to to reward himself he makes cinnamon oatmeal grow up yeah go get it brown sugar oh my god cam with water yeah kim did you just get your appendix removed? Dog, I am healthier than you. That's fine.

I'm enjoying my life. I enjoy it too. I like it. This all derives from me being a frugal Freddy. However, that's a good thing. I'm saving a coin. I'm saving a buck fifty. I'm making some oats.

I had eggs this morning. Just scrambled eggs. Did you put salt on it? Yeah, I put Lowry's and Greek seasoning. Who is Lowry? Kyle? No, Lowry's seasoned salt. Don't know is lowry kyle no lowry's seasoned salt don't know him you don't know lowry season salt you don't know what was the last time you had fried okra fried

yeah that guy going crazy no he's trying so hard not to laugh i was like jake you're not gonna lose your job guys just let it chuckle out, honestly you eat like an old decrepit man. No, you feel like you have a due date I'm not gonna okay, and you you eat like there's zero consequences to what there isn't really there's not I could go get hit by a Bust mark we can't keep having this debate go run a lap go run a lap and come back not puffing and Like screaming for air. Why do I need to run a lap? My job is sitting in What if a polar bear busted through our wall? What if my aunt had balls?

What if a polar bear busted through? I'd survive. You'd be dead. Anybody would be dead if a polar bear was in here, Cam. I wouldn't. My adrenaline would be skyrocketed.

I would literally sprint straight past it. Anyway. I would run that way like I'm training on zombies. Like I'm running a train. He'd come behind me in a very...

Holy shit. I've been working on my... Shit. I've been working on my foot muscles. Don't ever. Ever. Oh my God. You're...

It looks like a small hand. Like it looks like a... Like a... Like a child's hand, bro. Have you tried... Cam, I've been doing... Oh my God, the bottom of his feet are so white. They might be whiter than mine.

I've been doing... The bottom of your feet are very white. I've been doing this thing where I've been using only my... What's the black stuff? Stop touching it! Oh my god. Oh my god! Wait, what'd he do?

Oh my god, he licked his fingers. No, he did not. He licked his fucking fingers. No, he did not. It's just like licking your- It's just like licking your hand. I've been doing this thing where I've been using only my feet for the last 48 hours to grab things. I wanted to build my foot muscles up.

Alright, Planet of the Apes. Relax. Okay, that's... Come on, that's not... You set me up for... Come on. You know my heart. Yeah, pick some up.

Give me your Apple Watch. Get the hell away from me. Give me your Apple Watch. Give me your Apple Watch with your toes. I swear I can put it on my wrist with my foot. No, you cannot. Try me. No.

Come on. Your foot's disgusting. I'll do it with my watch. No. put it on my wrist with my foot no you cannot try me no come on your foot's disgusting i'll do with my watch thank you try it it's good for your feet it's good for your feet you don't even walk you don't even use your legs there's somebody behind the camera that really not not live but behind the behind the screen that really enjoyed that segment yeah they're probably definitely screen recorded everything put your sock back on it's inside out the socks yellow feel how wet that is oh my god i feel it cam no i'm not feeling it

why have you only been using your feet for 48 hours i just it's it's good because what if something else is good water no but listen what if something happened to my hands no hands what else do you have what if something happened to the fast food industry why are you talking about fast food because we're moving on to a different topic. I'm saying I'm doing this foot exercise. I just, I worry sometimes a little too much. Cam, try it. When you asked me a couple weeks ago, do you think about me? I do, but it's often like concerning thoughts.

I'm like, God, I hope he's like sane. When you go home, only pet your dog with your feet. You want me to pet Ruby with my feet? No, and then while I pick her up and I kiss her little forehead. Or whenever you want to change the TV remote, go grab it with your feet and then you want me to pet ruby with my feet no and i kiss her little forehead or whenever you want to change the tv remote go grab it with your feet and go abc hell to the no that you're a goblin oh stop sorry one of the most awkward experiences happened to me this last weekend oh god dude what is it it's one of those things like normally you can prepare for awkward shit or like things in

life i don't know if you can necessarily prepare for it but you like you have your your stick you know what you're gonna say you're aware that it's not like you don't practice in the mirror yeah but you're aware that certain things can happen in life okay this is a situation i never thought would happen in my life okay i was going to my car to get out most people you know what i'm saying and so there's cars parked right as they should in a parking garage exactly see a garage of parked vehicles everything makes sense that i say there we go not everything having chest pains that foot shit blood's pumping to a place that hasn't pumped in years and there was a man with his door open he was in the driver's seat okay and i watched him open his door right okay i was like maybe

he's gonna get out to go enjoy his day he's his driving portion of the day is done it wasn't his his lower half never left the car only his top half did he was sitting in his car he opens the driver's side door only puts the torso out you know what i'm saying what are you doing he has incredible balance very good oblique strength but as he's doing that he sees me his torso's out of the car he looks real red in the face and now he's making eye contact with me I swear to God Kim this man throws up all over the parking garage but he never breaks eye contact with me have you ever made eye contact with another man while they throw up no it's so intimate you you've thrown up it's all you're always looking at the

back of the head if you get a front-facing view a POV of vomit With eye contact in their eyes you get watery and red he was like this Oh No And the sickest part is You clearly watched it. Oh, yeah, it was traumatizing. It's like a car wreck You know what I mean? You can't look away. He threw up.

Looking at me. But it made me feel like I was at home. What the hell does that mean? Because I feel like you trust him. Preston used to throw up and you just watch him. You're like, go Bubba. I've never seen Preston throw up. Ever? Ever.

Good immune system. Might be a sideboard. You know what I mean? He's got them 15 wives good But I'm saying like it made me feel like he trusted me like he cared about me You know what? I mean? No. Yeah watching somebody throw up and then looking at you the whole time He didn't blink. I I would go to say i think he's throwing up for a weird reason what do you mean like maybe he just murdered someone it's all it's way too much now he has to vomit but he's

making sure you don't leave and tell other people that he vomited why does your brain go so dark well i definitely don't think of home and berries and pillows if someone a grown man's like dude throwing up is the absolute worst. Would you tie my hair back if I threw up? I mean, I wouldn't tie it necessarily. It's not much to tie. Would you hold it? You'd grab my head?

I'd grab it like a little dirty little... Like what? I'd grab... Oh, well. Would you whisper me sweet nothings? I'd whisper some sweet nothings. It's going to be alright. You know what Cam does? You're going to make sure. And I'm not going to... You're going sweet nothings. It's going to be all right. You know what Cam does?

You're going to make sure. And I'm not going to. You're going to fucking lie and it's going to piss me off. I'm not going to lie. You have a thing with my back. Huh? You got something for my back. What?

Cam likes my back. I hate your skeleton. All of it. Head to toe. No, there's something that fascinates you about my back. How frail it is? I don't know what you're getting at. Cam loves.

Where's the evidence? I could say he loves my knees. He has a fatuation with my knees. Tell me the evidence. All right, Cam, do not lie. I won't lie. In front of God and the fans. I won't lie.

You rub my back very often. What? I rub your... Oh, you're talking about shoulders. No. I do not rub your back often. Cam, you don't do this? Are you nuts?

Cameron. I stroke your back. You're going to piss me off, dog. You're already pissing me off. I do not rub the small of your back like we're about to go hit the damn salsa. Normally normally i do make jokes sometimes i'll get right here in this region for all my loved ones no i've been blessed no not massages more like a reassurance thing i do not reassure you on your spine damn i have never once tickled your l4 lumbar i've never done

it there's that's never happened but i've. I've just, what's the word? Groped your L6 to L2. I've never done that. But Cam, why are you so scared? What do you mean? Of people knowing the real you. I am, because it's not me. Cameron.

Do I caress his back? Thank you. Liv, you're the worst, too. You just go right into it. No, Cam, but I think it's more of a subconscious thing when you do it. I don't rub your back. Cam! I don't rub your back.

More times than not, if my back's to you, I know a camera in hand is going to be on my lumbar. Are you kidding me? Cam, how do you know about my lower back hair so much? You show it once every three episodes. You literally go, look at my lower back hair. You talk about it at home. Is it not there when we're at home? How would you know?

Because it's there. It's your back. You mean to tell me I hit this on your back on a recent basis? Yes. Just like that. You're insane. You don't lead with the fingers that much, but it's more palm. You're insane.

Cameron. You're insane. I have a video. Payton. What is the full name going to do? Stop it, freak. I have a picture hey what is the full name gonna do stop it freak I have a picture of me laying on you in a bed what does that mean you like me you click if you are holding me I'm in the bed and you laid on me what does that say did you just fall and land on did you give me off of you did you

fuck someone gonna take you could have been pressing down you said come here papa you said come here payda oh that's sick that's sick with kisses with four little kisses kim i will put that picture in the discord put the picture in the discord put the picture matter of fact find a video of me rubbing your lower back i don't that's intimate you're a you're never happens you're a liar i will completely say this part that right there yeah how was your weekend we I completely skipped it we just got straight into this shit average as hell how was yours that's all you got for me I don't I mean we were here we were there you go that's tuna sandwich life his ham sandwich life boring because I can't give you exact details rubbing lower backs and you got a secret life dog i have

a secret life i have a secret life yeah you have a secret life because you're so secretive about everything i ask you about things you say oh and nothing i eat tuna sandwiches and gravy that's your life and oatmeal i've ever i i had an interest fathom how disgusting that'd be a tuna sandwich dipped in gravy i haven't had tuna in my life except for on this podcast i don't like tuna at all but oh i have a big i i discovered something i i had a new experience this weekend i went to there i drove to an airport before i've never done it oh i drove to an airport this weekend i remember and it was one of the worst experiences of my life airports were meant to anxiety no yeah they do not go hand in hand airports were meant to to ruin people like me like they were meant to torment me so i went to drop a friend off at the uh at the airport

and at dfw dfw is one of the biggest airports I've ever seen. I think it's either the third or fourth in the country. Bullshit. I hate it. And this is my problem with airports, right? Fix your fucking signs. Oh, my God. The signs are insane. I want one sign that says, you want to leave?

Take this road. Or honestly, like, I've always said this. They need to, instead, like, the signs, there's tons of them. Yeah. So there needs to be like like instead of everything's a white line like the exit lane needs to be like red lines like stay in the red lines exactly you're going to exit the airport exactly something like that exactly how can cars drive themselves how can I type in to this website and it can tell me

everything about the world but I don't know how to leave an airport yet. 100%. I spent, I kid you not, I dropped my friend off at the airport at 7 p.m. They exited my car at 7 p.m. I didn't get out of the airport until 7.43. It took me 43 minutes to find out how to exit, Cam. I went around the airport so many times tsa was starting to watch me because they thought i was an investigation they thought you were a threat

they're like check the jeep that's going around 72 times um they're trying to plant something yeah go ahead and uh pull them we don't want to bottle them like that go ahead i i literally got pulled over somewhere in the airport like in one of those passing lanes I pulled over to the side and turned my car off to calm down I turned my car off

and shed a couple tears no dude it's bad and DFW is like a small city like it's bullshit it is enormous it is very very large

but no I dude that happened to me one time but you're better than me you pulled over I just I literally started punching my steering wheel and I screamed but no I made sure no one me You pulled over I just I literally started punching My steering wheel And I screamed

But no I made sure no one was around me And I just punched it And I was like Get out And that was really Oh my god I just had a crazy memory

From college What Remember we were in the car together I don't know what happened But it was something With your maps Or your phone Or something

Oh my god oh my god tell the stories i don't remember it so it was the end of my second year and i'm starting to go on visits right and newman college yeah a school in a school in kansas it's close in the middle of nowhere. Division 2 in Canvas. Canvas. Canvas. Canvas. Division 2 in... It's a Division 2 in Kansas. And from where our JUCO was, it was like three hour drive. Three and a half hour drive. So there's no need to get on a plane to go to this visit or whatnot.

So I just drove there. So being from Texas, I'm driving through, like, dead through Oklahoma City, like downtown. And it's the same thing. There's signs. My phone's not loading. There's no service. There's no service.

And I'm on the phone with him. And when I tell you, so I'm basically. So you know how when you have maps on, right, and it tells you your ETA. So I was on a time crunch. Like, I had to get there a specific time so i'm already i can't really afford any mistakes so it was like downtown oklahoma city i'm supposed to take an exit i couldn't get over right yeah so then i'm like damn i'll take the next one but my phone doesn't like it's just buffering trying to redirect me and it never goes through and i'm

starting to freak out and i'm just driving and i was like and i'm looking for like i i can look for a sign and just take the right one most of the time but there's no signs now there's a hell of signs none and i'm like what is going on and i'm on the phone with payton the whole time and i literally start losing my mind the baddest i've seen i was i was i'm not gonna lie it It was bad. Like I was tweaking. I was like, do it, bro. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I was gripping my steering wheel. I was like, like it was, it was like cutting in and out of cam screaming. So I'd hear it was, yeah, it was so bad. And, and then I ended up taking the, this is the one that was the worst. So then I was like,

I just got to take this exit and hopefully it can connect. I take this exit. The phone finally buffers and connects to some signal. And it said my ETA went up from 21 minutes. Like my missed one exit. I drove for maybe two or three minutes and now I'm 21 minutes late. And I was just, it was,

it's like I was in a downtown city. I didn't know where I was. My phone wasn't working. I couldn't read the signs. Then there was no signs to read. Everything was going on. No service. Definitely bit your finger a little bit. Oh, my God.

I don't know if I bit my finger, but I definitely, I was gripping the hell out of that steering wheel. I hit the steering wheel. It was bad. Keep going. Sorry. I'm not, I'm not proud of that moment. It was hilarious, but I'm not proud of it. Now we're talking about driving i got i got a question for you

okay do you get intrusive thoughts when you drive oh hell yeah you ever like on top of like a large you talk like a large like bridge and you're like what would happen if i just like oh bang this right out of here you can ask olivia i say that all the time oftentimes when i follow her i'm like what if that semi ran olivia off the road she was going I follow her, I'm like, what if that semi ran Olivia off the road? She was going to her imminent death and hope like, what could I do to possibly save that? I'm like, or what if her tire popped, her car starts to barrel over? What do I do to save this situation? Yours is situational.

Yeah. Mine's like, mine's like, I can, I can. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, I can go off this bridge right now. Exactly. No, I actually go over bridges when they're over bodies of water and i go over and i go i wonder if i threw myself off the bridge would i have enough time to roll down the window to where i could swim out of it and i'm always

wanting to think things like that see you we need help you take it to a next step which i i get but mine's more like i could literally change the course of my life right now yeah i mean me me driving my car off a bridge i'd say that's fair to say that changes the course of my life and we were in the parking garage like yesterday i was like i could literally take a baseball bat and just hit every car in here and no one would know it was me bro first off a parking garage with no cameras is like ask is literally asking for car it's so dangerous not to have security in there. Someone could just back up. Well, I've done that before. Allegedly.

PTSD? Not here. We were there like a week ago. Bro, I've learned something about myself and I don't know what it is, but I have to do weird stuff before I accomplish a task. What the hell does that even mean?

Like when I brush my teeth. Now? don't look at me like that. You have to do something weird before you can accomplish a task. I'm afraid for what you're about to say. Cause then you, your example immediately is you're brushing your teeth. So you're either saying you're brushing your teeth and then you follow it up with a weird thing or you do something weird to allow yourself to brush your teeth okay first of all i think people brush their teeth way too often that's a what it's a different story but every time i brush my teeth what'd you look at who's behind you it's a fern every time i brush my teeth right this is

my process i get my brush with the bristle you know what i mean yes correct so far but i don't go straight to the toothpaste i have to do this or i itch you know the bowl of the sink i don't know what you're about to say and i'm already preparing for something really uncomfortable i have to go four times on the bowl of the sink and then i put the toothpaste on then i brush my teeth with your bristles your teeth are gonna fucking, they're gonna drop out of your head. Your teeth, your smile is brown. Your breath is rancid. This is why I'm not open. You shouldn't, that shouldn't be a thing.

Open, closed, halfway, door, passcode. That should never be a thing. You just told me and Earth that you take your toothbrush and you scrub as if you were Snow White or Cinderella and you're scrubbing the little floor and then you brush your teeth with it. It's a light scrub. You shave your beard in that same sink. No, I don't. Where do you shave your beard? The barbershop.

Oh, the barbershop. So you never clean it up yourself? No. You're a wolf? You... That... Okay. But it's a light brush.

No, shut up. No, no. You know me with hygiene health and that is icking the piss out of me right now and whenever i poop i have to have my oh my god oh my god i thought you were gonna say something about poop and toothbrush i swear i was gonna leave oh my god i was gonna leave when i when i poop right everybody does it everyone poops i just do it often oh my god no one does what you're about to. I have to have my elbow in the middle of my right thigh. The whole time I poop.

But like this, like erect. Oh no. Why are you on your tiptoes? That should never happen. No, my poop is one of two things. If I'm on the phone, I'm right here. But if I'm not, it's like I'm focused. I'm ready for game seven.

I'm like this. What do you think about when you poop? Get out. Just get it out. Get out. Just get it out. Get out. Get out of me. Get out of me. That sounds...

No, honestly. That sounds wicked. But when I brush... Literally, the only thought that goes through my mind is poop. Accomplishing your task? Okay, but that's... I have weird things. It's always bathroom stuff.

In my normal life, I'm fine. You need to get that bathroom disinfected. 100%. Very quickly. But it's always bathroom stuff like in my normal life i'm fine you need to get that bathroom disinfected 100 like very quickly but it's just whenever like i'm brushing my teeth it's four light bristles scratches on the on the bow and then i can and i can do it and then when i poop elbow on right thigh erect right arm yeah middle of thigh but it's not like i'm thinking about it is that i don't know but it's sick if i don't do it i I can't be happy. I'm going to start doing that. What? Your happiness, your aura depends on your four bristle strokes. And your... Yes. What the hell is...

Dude, something's... I love you, but... Golly. Do you want more? Bless us with more, sure. Dude, you need... We need to do a mini vlog of your bathroom rituals whenever i shower i you know i have a washcloth right uh-huh and i'm myself and i have my body

wash i have to fill up the washcloth with body wash but then i have to put it on the water to rinse it all out and i don't use that and then i kind of do that well you do it again oh no you're a sick freak no what the hell is that you wasteful ass it's not wasteful that's super waste i itch if i can't do it you itch because you're not cleaning properly you're getting it all off and you're just rubbing water and rag that's why you itch i thought you were saying because i i do a very i take my my little microfiber thingy. Right. I do a very specific zigzag pattern, two full pumps of our Manscaped body wash.

Yes. I go, eat, eat, eat. Eat, eat, eat. Then I do it in the water. I do a couple circular patterns in the water, let it get really nice in there. No, I can't use that. Do you wash your body the same way every time? Oh, my God.

You would think mine is like a clinical study. I do not miss a step ever. It is the exact same wash pattern every single time. So we're the same. Oh, hell no. Oh, nowhere near. No, we weren't relating. I wasn't trying to make it come for you.

We were not relating. I promise. We're not on the same. But I can't accomplish anything. I feel like the voices will come if I don't do these things. See, I don't have voices. You need to wear a hoodie throughout everything. You know what I mean, though.

No, I don't. I promise I don't. I have no voices. I don't bristle stroke the bowl. But four light ones like that, and then I go. The most I do is wet it, and I like on the backside to get the extra water out. Oh. That's it. How far back do you go with your toothbrush?

You gotta get those molars. That's all I gotta say. No, on your tongue. On my tongue as far as I can take it. As far as it'll let me. You cack. Yeah. No, Liv actually doesn't like it. I just prefer a really clean tongue, so I test the water every single morning and night.

But if Liv ever hears that, she goes, you gotta stop doing that. You tear up? Sometimes, yeah. It's bad. I don't, like, I'm not, that's not the goal.

That just might be the crossfire that I get left in. That might happen. You enjoyed a little bit? Oh, no. Hell no. It's like baby throw up. I hate it. I like baby throw up.

Mine's not... Oh, my God! What? Yeah, that's insane. But it's not like... It's not like... It's like... Like it's a deep...

Holy shit. So you don't have strange things like that? Like you like, it's like, like it's a deep. Holy shit. So you don't have strange like things like that. But you have to do something before you finish it. Before you start it. You have to do something before you start something. I would say the only one that I can agree with you on is the, my, the shower. Yeah. Like I have to zigzag the body wash and then I go, I hold the thing, put it up in the water, and then I do the same wash

pattern every time. Because you feel like if you don't, then a family member will die, right? What? What voodoo-ass mama bad juju do you got going on? That's where my brain goes. Like, dark. Your brain needs to come back. It needs a leash.

Your brain needs a leash. That's a fair statement. Your brain needs a leash. Speaking of leashes, right needs a leash speaking of leashes right oh my god speaking of dogs calm down fish right like every what speaking of leashes speaking of dogs fish right it's a damn we're playing i spy with words like you just said you know what i mean no No. So, like, right? You need to relax. Every animal... I'm starting to feel threatened. Listen, every animal has, like, a home, right? As a kingdom.

Think about it. Let's finish. Let me get there. Let me land, right? What the... When were you aerial? Under the sea is where I go be part of that world. I've never seen that movie.

See, you just did the caress back. I don't do it. I was thinking about you. Okay, so right, listen, listen to this. I'm trying. What kingdom do kangaroos belong to? Now listen.

What kingdom? So like, right, bass, right? Bass belongs to fish. Bass is a fish. Right? Yes or no? Yeah belongs to fish. Bass is a fish. Right? Yes or no? Yeah.

Are kangaroos like dogs? Like who do they belong to? Well, hell, I don't know. But they're not dogs. You know what I mean? They're certainly not dogs. The closest to them. No.

Would they be monkeys? A kangaroo. No, because they can't be. Kangaroos are dog kingdoms. But dogs aren't monkeys either. And that's not mind-blowing. I didn't say that. Exactly. Dogs belong to hound.

They're hound creatures. Okay. What's another hound creature? Like, listen, like, Labradors are dogs. Bass are fish. Kangaroos are kangaroos. What kingdom? Mammal.

No, Cam. African jungle. They're not in Africa. I don't know why I said that. Are they in Aussie land? You want to get a little croppie and tea in the Aussie land? You want to get a little fish

on the bar pay? You want to get a little skloopy looboo? You want to get a little tickle my butt? Oh. Oh. Tinkle my butt.

You belong in jail. I don't know what that means. I don't like it. Does your spit ever warm? No, it's given. Right? You got a little warm spit. Huh?

You got a little warm spit. You ever warm up your spit? How do you think that would go in the microwave? If I matched craziness level with you right now, you'd feel as uncomfortable as me. What part of social life makes you uncomfortable? I'm comfortable in 98% of all situations. You ever had too much eye contact?

You, right now. This entire, the last 10 minutes, you've been like. Something about crumpets and Wendy Lou from Whoville, and then you say, tinkle my butt. You know what? Yeah, you said it. You know what I don't like? What? Is when people try to intimidate me with their eye contact.

When you can tell that somebody. Oh, yeah, I hate that. Somebody's intentionally giving you so much eye contact. Like, I know you're trying to win right now. Yeah, it's like, I'm sorry you're 5'8", but you don't have to stare in my skull to prove you belong here. It's like, just move, guy.

Okay, how do you get out of certain social... How do you get out of certain social situations? Example. So, like, say you're on a date, right? Okay. And you're in a place where you can't go to the bathroom, but you have to fart real bad. Oh, you got to hold that sucker.

I'm talking, you got to create a gas bomb in your stomach. Okay. Oh, and then as soon as you close her door, you just like- Right? You do that? Oh, my God. I was about to say something. Oh, my God.

I'm not going to say it. I'll tell you afterwards. Oh, my God. Okay. Also, what if you. I'll tell you afterwards. Oh, my God. Okay. Also, what if you have a – it's first date, right? First date. You're looking right into your lovely date's eyes. And your nose starts to run.

Practice. Oh, you just got to sniff it. Really? See, you have too much pride issue. What? I would literally go – But I don't think you're a fair person to ask. I'm probably not. That's what i'm telling you i'm i'm

i'm slightly too comfortable in most scenarios i go into like if i if i do something why is that off sorry if i do something that's might be gross or whatnot to someone else like it's just mean i'm not gonna hide myself from earth so okay but think of different social situations right name any of them i'm really i'll give you my exact outing plan, my exit plan. Like, this is one of my worst situations in social settings. Okay. If somebody gets hurt in front of me- Oh, no, that's fine.

I laugh. I can't do shit. No, I laugh. It's bad, bro. I never want to, but it's like- I'm a nervous laugher, though. Like, if I was getting robbed, I'd probably be laughing. I'd be like, no, you don't want to do-

Like, I'd be giggling. It's always been. Like, in school, if I got in trouble, I'd just be like i'd leave like you don't want to do like i'd be i'd be giggling it's always been like in school if i got in trouble i would be like like it's bad dude when people hurt themselves in front of me it's any it's a quick like one second adrenaline holy hell are they okay yeah and then once i realize if they're talking or gasping for air i'm just like and i just laugh i feel horrible but you can't fall in front of me oh hell do not fall in front of me no i am not there to help i. I will literally... Oh, yeah, no. You're getting zero help. I will turn around and walk the other way.

You can see me see you fall, and I will pretend that I didn't see it. And you will acknowledge the fact that I am pretending. That's rough. What can I do? No, really, though. Because, like, what if you go to help him up, and then you slip, and then... Exactly. That's my biggest fear.

If I help you, and now I'm on the ground, now we're enemies. Yeah. Dude, no. Now we're enemies. Yeah, you've drug me down to your level i do not belong on cement you apparently do or you have a part-time job with it i don't belong here and like or when somebody does something embarrassing like they embarrass themselves in front of me god secondhand embarrassment i fucking i can't deal with it i love it you hate it i it. I can't thrive for that. Like if somebody's like singing a song loud audibly

and they clearly mess up and then they're telling me like they messed up don't say that shit to me. I want you to stay with me. And you're just watching it? Yeah.

I don't really be like this. No, I'd be like I'd be like oh God. You start to itch? No, I'm like I'll get a phone call. Oh. I always get a phone call

The amount of times I've picked up the phone yo, what's up? Hey, you got to stay on this phone with me for at least 30 more seconds Oh, just shut up and just stay on just stay on I'm like alright So what's up? He's like no, I don't need the fake conversation. I can't I can't be vulnerable right now I just got to be on the phone. What happened yesterday? This man calls me. He goes, I've sweated through this linen. He said, I looked down. I look like I got a Tony Stark right in the middle of my chest. There's a big ass sweat mark. I got to get out of the store.

No one can stop me and talk about my sweat. I'm like, all right. He's like, oh my God. Oh my God. There's someone walking very fast behind me. And I was like, just go. He's like, oh my God, I'm being followed. And I'm like, just shut up.

That's the thing. Me and Peyton, he has too much pride when it comes to these issues. It's not pride. It is. How is that pride? It's a deep-rooted pride. You don't want to be wrong or bad or seen as gross. I would literally be like, dog, I'm sweating.

Sorry. No, Cam, that's not true. Are you nuts? In public, when you sweat, you do get self-conscious about it. Yeah, exactly. I try to hide it, but I'm saying if it's known, I'm not going to lie about it or make something up. But I stink. Yeah, you secrete fear.

I just like, no, there's sometimes I smell awful. Oh, my God. I smell Rankin. Cam doesn't have an in-between. Oh, yeah. It's not like you. It's either just sweat marks, but there's no scent at all, or it is, I mean, I'm talking like Louisiana. You smell like six days

ago yeah literally no it's bad i smell like saturday morning cartoons like like straight out the bed running in there in warm pajamas like the fleece ones oh my god i just had i just thought of a story i me and cam had a trigger in your memory today i had one of the worst grocery store experiences of all time oh oh my god almighty this is i mean you want me to tell her you to tell her let me get this first part yeah you oh my god i don't know what it is with me in grocery stores this is why i order my groceries because my body shuts down in grocery markets you're too afraid like you're afraid of living like that's what i'm talking about you're afraid of messing up.

It's the constant fear of messing up that makes you mess up. But I always see the worst things. This is unbelievable. We were walking into the grocery store. The first thing I see walking into the grocery store, there was a woman walking out. She had a cup of deviled eggs with a straw in it. A 32-ounce cup of, like, the plastic, the Big John's, with deviled eggs in it and a straw in it a 32 ounce cup of debt like the plastic the big johns with deviled eggs in it in a straw do they sell those who are you where did you purchase this from they don't sell them in here what is your agenda because if you're drinking deviled eggs yeah well how's that get through

the straw god you belong in like alcatraz if you're drinking deviled eggs you need to be in a stray jacket because that is not how does that study how does one go about that I don't know why is there straw in the cup no who sells 32 ounces of deviled eggs how much was it like there's so many things that could be asked oh my god and then as soon as we walk into the store I thought I saw somebody from high school they look just like my friend from high school And I don't know why I got this boost of confidence, but I ran up to them, and I said, Jimmy! And they turned around, and they weren't nice at all.

And Peyton went, oh, oh. They said, I don't know you. You know, like, when I'm talking about, like, straight out of a movie, you're like, hey, Veronica, and she turns around, and it's not her. Oh, God. Like, it almost scares you, because it's like a doppelganger. And normally they'd be like, oh she turns around it's not her oh god like it almost scares you because it's like a doppelganger and normally they'll be like oh no it's okay but he was like I don't know you he came back so I got the cart it was like this is like within 30 seconds of being

here we see deviled eggs woman with a straw drinking devils liquid deviled eggs woman I grabbed the cart he hits this little nasty ass tr trot to what he thought was his friend. Jimmy! He turns around. I'm whipping the cart and pushing back in. All I see is Peyton go, uh-oh, uh-oh. Like, he was frightened. And then he just walks back, no confidence.

He walks up to me and he's like, bro, I thought that was Jimmy. And it wasn't. They were just mean to me. And I was like, you're 24! I was like, what do you mean they're mean to you? Let's get the damn groceries. And then for some reason, Cam decided it was a good idea for Peyton to take charge of the cart Yeah, oh, I cannot you know my body shuts down when I'm anxious Cam gives me the cart and I couldn't see anymore cuz I was anxious like my vision goes blurry

And I don't really have control of my phalanges So I'm driving the cart You don't drive them push it four wheels i almost fainted at this oh my god it's so i'm just riding driving the car oh my god i'm getting hot just thinking about it again i'm driving the car but for some reason i wasn't aware of my surroundings i swear to god i just mow over a family of four yo when i tell you we're so lucky that woman was nice that could have been 10 times worse i smacked the shit out of her kid no so he's so we're going through like the little middle part there's like aisles to the right and to the left and i was like a slightly behind him and he turned to look at i'm talking

like this goes to show that that shit can happen in the blink of an eye He literally turns this way for the half a second to just converse with me Wham right into her car and I do I literally if y'all have seen me enough when funny shit happens I take off I just disappear and that way he was pissed that I left him by himself He literally smacked the side of this I swear to God It was a woman with three kids and they were walking and she's exiting the aisle and we just i'm talking full-blown t-boned her ass and just wham it was so i literally was like i just left i dipped i turned right i left him with

that bad friend by me i know i'm so sorry i couldn't i was screaming laughing it was so bad it knocked the toddler off of his pivot the The toddler stumbled. Oh, my God. And then we got, so I went right. I knew that obviously he would keep going straight after the interaction. So I turned like a couple aisles. And then we like, we rendezvoused like three aisles later. Oh, my God. We both had tears in our eyes.

Mine were sad. Holy shit. I was crying laughing. And then, so whenever I'm at peak anxiousness at this point, like I'm ready to lay down. Like I can't function anymore. And when I do that, I start to get sick. Like I start to like cough and sneeze. He was like, I've had enough of this shit.

I got to get out of here. So he gives the cart back to me. So now I'm pushing. So now we're going the opposite way we're coming back towards the checkouts so now we're pushing he's on the left of me and we're we're pushing the cart we're pushing the cart bro and i'm so like again he's to my left and i'm talking to him and i see a worker an employee very small man he's walking behind us like with like with an, he's to my left and I'm talking to him and I see a worker, an employee, very small man. He's walking behind us like with like with an agenda. He's got to go somewhere.

Maybe he's on his lunch break. I don't know. He's walking fast and he's right behind us. And Peyton literally does not see the man. And I move over to the right as like to give him more space. And Peyton goes and just coughs. I'm talking right on this guy. I on his chest it was directly on him and i swear to god it was so funny i couldn't and this sent him to oblivion i could not keep it inside

i audibly said oh my god you coughed on that man and i took off again i took off and i i literally said out loud i heard it paid i heard it i said it payton heard it loud, I heard it, Peyton. I heard it. I said it. Peyton heard it and the guy heard it. I said, oh my God, you coughed on that man. And I walked away and I literally turned around and the guy's looking at Peyton like this.

Like he's just disgusted, but he has somewhere to go. So we didn't have enough time to put him in his place. I physically watched this man grab his college shirt. And then I left the cart, bro. Again physically watched this man grab his college shirt. He was like. And then I left the cart bro. Again, I run when shit is too funny, I just, I get away. My ass got so wet, I was so nervous. And then I turn around, I'm like 40 feet away from it at this point.

I'm gasping for air again. This is a grocery trip from hell at this point. This is a damn nightmare. I turn around and Payton is literally over the grocery cart like this Just with his head down a six seven skeleton Just head down in the grocery basket in the middle of the produce it got so bad a worker came and put her arm On my back. Yeah, it's are you and then the sushi the sushi woman she asked over the counter, she was like, is he okay? And I was like, everybody, leave me alone.

All he said is, please stop talking to me. Like, stop bringing more attention to this. But me, I'm evil. So I was like, oh, no, he just coughed on your fellow worker. And she was like, oh, that's not good. I wanted to go to bed. I put my head in the freezer aisle. I opened up the chicken strip.

I opened up the chicken strip refrigerator and put my head in it to calm down. Oh, my God. And then the worst thing is all of that for him to just buy four lemonade primes, two packages of unrefrigerated bacon, a box of assorted Lay's chips, and rice cakes. That was it. And a Red Bull, a sugar-free Red Bullfree i had to get out oh my god that was a grocery store trip from hell oh i almost just got a headache dude i have a headache now that shit dude just reliving that no i swear to god and the part that pissed me off the most is we were on tiktok live yeah and we were civil

but then like because the shit at the beginning happened so we were like oh my god this is gonna be hilarious tiktok live so we get on it and they were like ah this just isn't hitting the reception's horrible so we ended it so like the shit at the beginning happened before the tiktok live got on tiktok live reception was off on the store ended it and all that happened and i was like bro if it would have just if we would have been recording regular stuff that could have been unbelievable like yeah oh my god it was so funny bro i don't know like me and in my regular life like i just can't i can't function in like a society anymore and i feel like as i get older like my reasoning gets bad i feel like i'm just like no your reason your reason

is horrid like your understanding of life and what we know it to be is just, it's not on par. For what? Everything. Like, it's not good. How? Like, give me an example. Like, you don't understand things and how they work. I'm very smart.

How, uh, how many men do you think it would take to, like, defeat a gorilla? Bare hands, there's no weapons. How many men? Seven? That's my point. Exactly. How big is the gorilla? It's a gorilla bare hands there's no weapons how many men seven that's my point exactly how big is the gorilla it's a gorilla how big are the men men like that who asked those questions we like to say it's a megalith of a gorilla how many it's six it workers like you don't need background teachers yeah see that's why i'm smart. No, you don't. Dude. Seven is a good number. What?

Bro, honestly, one grabs the arm, one grabs the arm, one grabs the leg, one grabs the leg. Now you got three leftover men. Oh, just sending them body shots? Yeah. Like that gorilla's not going to rip that guy that touches him, his arm off, literally off his body. And then the other six are absolutely traumatized and they don't do anything about it. Do gorillas get scared? Not from us.

But if there's seven of us. Maybe from Smaug. I don't know what would scare a gorilla. Does the gorilla have hobbies? This is my point! Why do you need to know if it plays Baccarat and it's free time? It's a gorilla. No, that's important though. It's mano y mano and he's going to win.

Does it have allergies? Does the gorilla have allergies? What, are you going to build a pollen bomb and throw it at him? You can go in with— Pop and smoke! You can go in with strategy, right? You're so oblivious. How?

Seven guys and a gorilla. I feel like it makes sense to me. How long do you think it takes for a house to be built? I don't know. I've never built one. Take a guess. Let's see how smart you are, buddy. Just your reason.

I mean, like two weeks probably. Did you say two weeks? If it's like a two-story house. Two weeks? Yeah, one week for each story. Do you have like a 3077 laser 4000 drill? Two weeks? Yeah, one week for each story. Do you have like a 3077 laser 4000 drill? Two weeks? If you're a frequent at Home Depot.

What are you doing? Building it with, you have a 60 man crew with you? I don't know. I think average house takes like three to four months. No way. Yes. For rookies. Oh, because you're a vet i don't build homes

you have a 10 a 10 year tenor with building homes i've seen people build shopping centers in like two days with a 600 man employee crew but this stuff is not built in two days this it's not that's a movie the bench warmers they built a little park in in 24 hours this stuff doesn't apply to my life i don't need to know this how long would it take you to run 30 miles that's a movie the bench warmers they built a little park in in 24 hours this stuff doesn't apply to my life i don't need to know this how long would it take you to run 30 miles that's a long time how long would it take is there traffic you're running you're not on a freeway you're just in hills or something you're running i get an hour and a half an hour and a half oh my god what do you have six legs what do you an hour and a half? Alright you silver surfer. But I'm not a scientist, Cam!

How long does it take you to one run mile? Five, six minutes? Oh, six minutes. Six minutes. I don't run. Why would I need to know this? Just by what you said alone. Six minute mile. Six times thirty. Are you good at math? No. Okay, 180. Minutes? Yeah. It's like an hour and a half

180 minutes is an hour and a half i don't okay man i'm gonna sweat 180 minutes is an hour and a half 180 minutes is three hours on the dot do we that's if you kept a six minute mile for 30 miles straight some people could not you not you okay what else if you ran 60 if oh my god if you ran 30 miles straight at a six minute pace your feet would be mangled it would look like you put your open toes in a blender like you would be apt you would be broken oh just like that to you be broken bro i didn't write a hypothesis on this i I don't know this stuff. Who knows this? There's not a normal human. That's my point.

Your general, like I said, your learning of life is not on par with everyone else. But who knows this stuff? Dog, you just said you could run a six-minute mile for 30 miles straight. Okay, well, let me try again. Go again. Do you know what it takes for someone to be the president? Yeah. What?

Like, do you apply? Did you just say you apply to be the president? Yes. Like, there's a job listing? 1-800-SAVE- 1-800-MOST-IMPORTANT-JOB-ON-EARTH-WILL-TAKE-IN-ALL-APPLICATIONS You have to have a resume attached. A resume! You need a CV to be the president! You need a CV to be the president.

You need a resume to be the president. Like government.com doesn't have jobs or something? Who the fuck? Government.com. Org. You think there's a waiting list for presidency? There's probably a lot of people that want it. Oh my god. Like I couldn't get it because lot of people that want it. Oh, my God. Like, I couldn't get it because I don't go to school. Oh, I'm glad you know you can't be it. Because my God, oh, my. You just said you can apply to be the president.

That's how you get jobs. Like, there's a damn application. Like, they're trying to work at Sprouts. Is the president a job? Yeah. How do you get jobs? Not. It's the president. So, my logic isn't bad, though.

You just said you check boxes and fill out an application and attach your handwritten resume to lead the free world. To be the ruler of the free world. Yeah, and then you get like a face-to-face interview with Congress. Oh, you sit down with the little recruit. You sit down with HR. They have an HR department for the White House. Yes.

You don't think the White House has HR. Dog, are you kidding me? Yeah, and you got to wear like... How fast can NASCARs go? 200 miles per hour? That's your closest one yet. That's your most realistic answer. No, presidents, you got to get up. How do you become a president? You just ask somebody? No, you can't just be like, hey, can I rule Earth real quick? Mind if I take a shot at it?

No one knows that Dude, there's you have to be like you have to be at least 40 you have to be minimum 40 You have to be a US resident. I was 35 you have to have I don't care But you can't just fill out a paper and print it off at Starbucks You can't just walk in on Starbucks Wi-Fi fill out an application and get a call from from the House of the Senate Hey, you see decent probably come leader it probably CIA that's because they do like background checks on you make sure you're okay you think you'd pass that background check if I had the good education which you don't they take

juco have a juco application That didn't get picked in grade. That's the, hey, I'm here for sport. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Put me in, what is it? It's either communications or, what's the other one? Oh, my God. General learning? It's like general studies. General studies?

I'm going to school just to go. That's what that is, general studies. No, but honestly, no one knows how to become president. It's not an application basis If you think you can literally Oh no I don't have asthma Well you can have asthma

Ooh Artificial air Oh I don't My work experience I was a YMCA leader I bagged groceries Oh can I be the president Yeah

Get out of here dude There's gotta be some kind of interview process To become the president How long do you think it takes a tree to fully sprout? Oh, that takes a while. Probably like 300 years. Like the big trees. The big trees take a long ass time.

300 years. Like the thick ones. The thick ones. Yeah, the ones that have wisdom. What are you planting? Everest? The ones that have wisdom? What are you planting? Everest? It's three. The ones that have wisdom?

The ones you pray to. You just said it takes three centuries to grow a tree. Like this one, probably not too long. That's made of plastic. That's made of plastic. It's in a fake bucket with super glue at the bottom. Who gives a shit? No one gives a shit.

Well, for you to guess, it takes three centuries for a singular tree to sprout I don't know what a century or a dimension is like I don't know what the difference is what's the one with the D the dimension decade decade right how many years is a decade I know there's two answers there's no there's two options there's no there's not. Two options. No there's not. There's one. It's either 10 or 15. It's 10. How long is 3 quarter centuries? 75. There you go, brother.

Yes! Because 3 quarters is 75 cents. There you go. Good job. Good job. I think I broke my foot. Oh! Oh my god.

This is your people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop Culture with Peyton and Cam. Pop Culture with Peyton and Cam. I got one, Cam. I got one better. Go ahead first. So I finally watched Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse.

Not the second one. The first one. Never watched it originally. Don't know what happened. I'm a huge fan of Marvel movies. Me and Olivia finally watched it. He's never seen seen it either we're getting him to watch it this weekend and then we're all gonna have a little rendezvous a little a little movie night with snacks and kisses a little movie night with snacks kisses cuddles and options and i don't know why i

said options but yeah it was really good um they did a really good job with that movie olivia fell asleep but she woke back up that's the important part and i enjoyed it nice very good i'm gonna go eight eight eight point nine maybe nine point three ish range heard a lot of good things about it i've heard a lot of good things you're gonna enjoy it um 82 year old al pacino is expecting his fourth child with 29 year old girlfriend nor alfala. Dude, I saw that. Dude, I need to know. How are you not shooting blanks at 84?

How is the rope getting off the ground? Yeah, yeah. How is your garden hose getting filled with blood? Or water? Water. That is impressive. As hell. 84?

84? We need to talk about these old men getting these women pregnant. 84 and you can still get bricked up that's one it's impressive two it's so vicious shit your kid is going to grow up without a father like obviously you watch your movies he's not because she's 29 she's gonna carry his child give birth to his child yes child will be in will of some sort he will pass she's going to marry a 29 year old man have all that money for him taken care of and that's going to be his poppy okay when you're 89 oh nope never mind do

you think they're doing that i don't know why i'm laughing do you think they're doing that on purpose no they're definitely just trying to have sex but that's so nice i'm proud of him what having sex at 89 he's 84 84 same shit at that point yeah it really is but 80 bro oh my god but honestly if you're that age and still pumping the brakes yeah no it's unreal you're still pushing gas yeah if you're i mean if you're if you're if you're drill still drilling oh my god yeah like you're not shooting blanks if you're still putting buns in the oven you're a still drilling. Oh, my God. Yeah, like if you're not shooting blanks, if you're still putting buns in the oven, you're a hell of a baker. I need to talk to her.

You're a hell of a baker. I want to have her on the podcast because I want to know if she's like – because she has to be a partaker in that event. She's 29. 29. Imagine. Four years older than me. And imagine like a 90-year- old woman coming up to you and being

like come on come come put up come put a toaster in this bun i'd say put your teeth back in and get away from me glenda i gotta cut that yeah that's unreal, shit. Well, that's nasty. But shout out to congratulations to Al Pacino. Shout out to congratulations. No, I mean, hell, I hope you can see your son's fifth. But shout out, Al, I guess. We're going to get canceled for some reason.

Shout out, Al Pacino, for your fourth child when you're 84. Like, is his first child 60? I bet he has a child that's older than our parents 100 like if my mom and dad had a kid now yeah i would strike one of them yeah you you'd get very angry i'd be like are you serious like that could be your kid yeah what do you what is the end goal for that yeah what for real though like if it was on purpose i'd be like you're you like have you need to go talk to somebody seriously give the kid up but not to you oh no because that's my brother your mom and dad your mom and dad oh my god what a what a main event main main movie actor what a main character what a main event, main movie actor, main character.

What a main character type of shit. Your mom and dad has a kid, lends it to you, and they move to Romania. You can't lend somebody a child. I'm saying, what if they elope? They're already in love. I don't know what eloping is. They have a kid. Give it to you.

They lend it. Drop it at your doorstep. Okay? Ring the bell. Immediately hop into Uber Black XL. Go straight to the airport. Get on a plane to Romania. They never come back.

They keep in contact. But now you are raising, essentially, your kid, but it's really your brother or sister. I can't say that. You cannot say that. You cannot ship the kid back to Romania. I would give him to y'all. I wouldn't take him. You wouldn't take a kid?

Why wouldn't you take it? Am I fit to be a father father you'd have to learn real quick i'd be a great dad fatherhood very inspiring that's his kid that's his kid i understand that's not my kid's my brother or sister that's what i'm saying it's a very it's a very main character type thing yeah but i'm not it's like yeah cool for y'all. Not me. I'm sending them to Co-Scam and Mama Liv. Y'all know damn well y'all would raise a kid that looked like me. That is very true. Yeah, he'd have a nasty ass tail too.

Oh my God. He'd definitely go through his emo phase. Oh yeah. I'm going to be like my dad. He's like, screw y'all. Y'all ain't even my rear parents. Let me go see my brother. Like, your brother's 36. Y'all ain't even my rear parents. Let me go see my brother. Like, your brother's 36.

Shut up. Go to your homework. Oh, well, I think that was a fantastic episode. Do you think so? Yeah, I think it was a great episode, too. Again. I'll kiss you if you want. I don't.

I didn't ask for that. You do in our off days. Just shut up. Before we get out of here, I love you, though. That was rude. Sorry. See, there you go. Okay.

Didn't you give me that slit tongue? You wouldn't suck on my tongue? Didn't you give me that Harry Potter logo tongue? I wouldn't suck on your tongue. That's the most vulgar, then you give me that slit tongue. You wouldn't suck on my tongue? You give me that Harry Potter logo tongue. I wouldn't suck on your tongue. That's the most vulgar, nasty thing you've said so far. You really? No, I wouldn't suck on your tongue. Okay, if it was to save my life.

No, bro, why would you do that? Damn! No, deadass. Okay, if it was to save my life, right? You're going to get me to say yes, and then you're going to clown me for it. Your eye's already getting that evil look. No, okay, I'm deadass. Like, it's not weird, though.

It's love. So, if I was if i was like i was laying down right i just got hit by a bus you're not gonna put me in this scenario i just got bit by a poisonous scorpion right and i was laying down right but my it made my tongue hard i got bit by a poisonous scorpion and it made my tongue bite it'll bite and my tongue gets hard right there and i'm i'm passed out but my tongue's hard like that and. I'm passed out, but my tongue's hard. Like that. And they said, Kim, you got to suck the venom out.

I'd say, y'all got a mask or something, dog? You don't got some... Where's all the... Where's the medical innovations going nowadays? But you would suck my tongue? If it was to save your life, I had to suck your tongue to resurrect you, I would do it. Would you open your eyes or close them? I'd close them.

I'd close them. What would the conversation afterwards be? I love you, I would do it. Would you open your eyes or close them? I'd close them. I'd close them. What would the conversation afterwards be? I love you, man. I'd ask, how did it taste? If that was the first thing after I just saved your existence and you have the nerve to pop up all preppy and jokey again, you go, how did it taste? I'd probably punch you in your Adam's apple.

No, honestly. I'd literally go. No, honestly, what if I didn't know how you saved my life, and I was like Kim. How'd you do it? I would say dude. I did hella CPR. That's why your chest is sore. I was like why is my tongue sore? Would you suck my tongue? I'd do it just to do it. All right, bro. See that's ridiculous. All right Episode 63 was a freak fest. Sorry about that You've set the whole scene you said you got bit by a scorpion. They don't even bite. They pinch or they sting. Anyway.

I've never met one. Anyway, y'all. Liv did not like that subject. Code for this week before we get into the outro per usual. Code is going to be... What should the code be? You have tears. You have tears on your face.

I don't know. Grocery store. store sneezing on strangers g sos sneezing on strangers sos confuse the casuals drop it in the instagram post drop it in the tiktok lives all that uh drop it all over the koala club patreon if you're not a part of our patreon the koala club is growing every single day we are bringing you tons of funny stuff we have tons of stuff lined up as well it's gonna be fantastic links in the bio remember um we have a we have the limited one week availability on the on the live show shirts that are available right now it's going to be available for seven days and then they're never days gone forever if you're never

again if you're coming to live show grab it if you're not coming to live show wear it in support from a distance um they're cheap all the live show, grab it. If you're not coming to the live show, wear it in support from a distance. They're cheap. All the information you need to know, link in the bio. Link in the bellagio. Link in the bio. I love the bellagio. You got seven-day timer starting right now. Go ahead and grab the live show shirt.

We cannot wait to see y'all June 30th. Southside Music Hall, Dallas, Texas. And remember, 1-810-QUALITY-BEARS will make it home to Christmas, and I will see you next time. Hey, if you joined the Patreon, you should cancel the call. Why would you do that? Goodbye.