You Should Know Podcast - THE EXTREME BABYSITTING CHALLENGE! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast TOUR TICKETS: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com YSK UNPLUGGED: https://www.youtube.com/@YSK.UNPLUGGED FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home 00:00 NEW INTRO ATTEMPT00:35 LEFT OR RIGHT HAND?02:45 SPIDER MAN PREMIERE GOT RUINED12:43 EVACUATED FROM THE MOVIES18:43 PEYTON’S LAST RESORT19:50 QUO21:01 IS THIS CHEATING?27:08 EARTH IS GETTING HEAVIER DEBATE34:30 BATTERHELP35:35 CAM'S NEW CO-HOST?44:15 QUITE ON THE CREEK46:48 GLD48:06 PEYTON'S INSANE APPS!55:54 MARS MEN57:16 CASH APP59:02 EATING ORANGE’S SKIN1:04:34 2 UNDER 2 BABYSITTING QUIZ1:18:36 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: Quo - Try QUO for free plus get 20% off your first 6 months at https://quo.com/ysk. Better Help - Visit https://betterhelp.com/ysk  #ad GLD - Get 40% off at https://gld.com with code YSK—new customers only, limited time offer. Mars Men - For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at https://Mengotomars.com. Cash App - Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/5tdivt3n #CashAppPodCash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement, for the Sutton debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-sutton and for the Bancorp debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-bancorp. Savings and Offers provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Offers may not be affiliated with third party merchants.Parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6-12.Cash App will pass through a portion of the interest paid on your savings balance held in an account for the benefit of Cash App customers at Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., Member FDIC. To earn interest on your Cash App savings balance, you need to have sponsor approval. Exceptions may apply. Savings yield rate is subject to change. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you, you know, podcast, episode 2, 29. Round of applause. Please, wait. We got co-os, Cam. Back in the shit. I was going to let it rock out because you've been really, really, really, trying to get that round of applause back in.

And I like that. I'm still trying to figure it out because, no, if you want me to be honest, I don't care. I don't, I don't, I'm not. You're a man of the people. I'm a man of the people. I'm a man of the people.

You're a man of the people. Do it with the right fish. Show some respect. Is that a real thing? I've never seen it done with the left. What if someone's a left-hander? I think the sentiment's the same. If you're left-handed, whenever you're doing a Pledge of Allegiance,

you still put your right hand over your heart. That's because you're fucking fucking hearts on the left side of your body, you're not going to go, a Pledge of Allegiance, Tuna Fag. Are you an idiot? You never knew that. I never knew. No, you shut up.

You never knew what? I never knew the reason you do the Pledge of Allegiance with your right hand over your heart and not the last. is because the heart's on the right on the left side. I'm having a problem. It's because you're putting your hand over your heart. So why can't we do this? Why can't we do left hand over the heart? Who wants to look like they're scooping it like scoop and toop their t- when they're saying the Pledge of Allegiance? But would it be a sign of disrespect if I did left hand over my heart? I think it'd be a sign of weirdness. I think

no that's fine. If you literally were like this, maybe you're like so something's wrong with that guy. What's wrong with him. Okay, that's so crazy. I didn't. But this is completely different. That's completely different. I've never seen someone black power with the left fist. If it's disrespectful with the left, let me know. But I think it's just, I think that's just preference.

I'm sure there's a manual out there. I need to buy it. I need to buy that book. Who would I get it signed by? Who would I get a black power book signed by current today? Dr. Umar. Oh, no. Dr.

Umar hates me. Never, never said a word to me. That guy hates me. So, yeah, no. That's out the window. I would love to have Dr. Umar on the podcast. Oh, I think it'd be fantastic. I would love to...

Within two minutes, he'd say that my wife has failed her ancestors. He'd say that I'm... I don't know what's going to say. He'd say, I'm undeserving of all things. Of all things. Yeah, yeah. That's great. I'd be like, get up!

Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, keep going, sure, sure. I'm going, Mr. Umar, get him. Oh, that's crazy. How much you get paid for your last press store? Oh! So, here we go. Welcome back to the podcast.

We don't know how much of that stayed. Welcome back from commercial break. Dude, Cam, I haven't seen it. Oh, no, tickle my cherries. Tickle my cherries get straight into it. We both saw something. Yes, yes, yes, yes. We both saw Spider-Man.

Now, before you click off, we are not reviewing Spider-Man or actually talking about the movie at all. We're going to do a full breakdown over on our Patreon that comes out this Wednesday. We're going to break down the spoilers, and then we're going to rank the movies, I think. Yeah, and we're going to do what? We're going to break the full movie.

It's like not that good, like it's not like that big. Oh, you're out of your mind. No, it's not that big of a joke for like it. Oh yeah. I think I just like the way I sound when I say that. Yeah, it's sure. But okay, so we saw Spider-Man. We saw Spider-Man separately.

We did, oh, I haven't talked to, completely different states. So I haven't talked to Cam in about a week because I was out of town. I was out of town. I was out of town too. I go, don't make it look like I'm just a loser. I was out of town.

I have a lot to talk to about. I went to Minneapolis. We have a lot. I went to, I got so much that happened. I went to SummerSlam. Okay. You went to Minneapolis, beautiful big city. There's a, there's a mall of America.

Yeah. You went to a pay-per-view event. Yeah. I went to Talaquah, Oklahoma. We'll get there. And oh, will we get there in the episode? Because we have a lot to catch up on. So it's going to be a good podcast.

These are always my favorites. When we disperse them, we come back. We don't talk. Can't I say, I'll talk about this later. Mall of America, a little disappointed. I knew I would be. I knew it would be. It's too outdated.

It's too outdated. It's too outdated. It's too outdated. It's like, I don't need, I don't need, I don't need, I don't need the seventh lid store. That's what I'm saying. The mall is 15 miles long, but there's eight of the same shores. That's stupid. It's dumb.

You're taking away the magic. I don't need a true Mall of America. There should be one of every single retailer. Yes, think about that. That'd be the greatest. I saw three of the same hot sauce places that sell like the gag like hot sauces that are super expensive. Three of the same ones. Oh, don't tell me Mall of America is just a big grapevine mills.

No, no, no, not that bad. Not that bad. You can get a hot sauce that sniper rifle. No, it's not that bad yet. But, so, I went to go see Spider-Man. Yes, you do. Brand-new day. Now, if you've been watching a podcast for this past month,

there's been, like, a movie, like, chronicle of me trying to find the perfect movie theater. For this reason. For this movie. For this movie. Like, I bought five movie tickets to different theaters. I ended up going, like, I ended up having to go to Minneapolis the day that Spider-Man brand-new day released. I was working with a brand at SummerSlam.

Now, I was like, okay, not ideal. I wanted to be at home to watch Brand New Day, right? I was studying the movie theaters in my area. Yeah, you're putting up shots, taking notes. Yeah, so I was like, last second audible. Well, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, there's a Mall of America. So I decided to go watch Spider-Man Brand-new Day at the Mall of America. That's ORA.

I'm not going to lie. That's like plus ghetto movie theater ever. It's a ghetto movie theater. There's rips in the leather. It's disgusting. It's gross. You're fucking light. It's disgusting.

It's so nasty. So even the movie theater is like outdated there. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Screens aren't that big unless you want to watch it. It's, what the fuck that called? What? Screen X. What is that?

Whenever it's the screen is, there's a screen in front of you and then a screens on the walls on the side of you. Dude, you need to stop being so experimental with movies. You need to go to a classic standard showing. I did. I did. that that was an option for Spiderman. I thought you just told me you saw Spider-Man. I mean, you're literally on a web going through New York with on the side.

So when I'm watching a movie, my head should never go like this. I should never be watching a movie this way. You shouldn't have to be like this. Babe, babe, look, look. It's stupid. The main films right there, and I'm over here. Oh, oh, look. Oh, God, my ADHD too?

That'd be horrific. So I landed in Minneapolis, American Airlines, the worst airline to ever exist. If you ever see me advertise American Airlines, I've sold my soul. Now, it's the worst airline ever. airline ever never use it like the fact that like that they even chose to use American Airlines planes for 9-11 they didn't even deserve that wow okay yeah okay so so I flew in from Dallas to Minneapolis they lost my luggage luggage is gone and they're like hey we'll let you know when we get it there I'm like

what does that mean oh we can't find it and I'll go why they're like we lost a bunch of bags yesterday we lost a lot of bags today we lost a lot of bags today that's that's the explanation they got. So I was originally supposed to go see the noon showing at the Mall of America, right? I was so pissed off that I missed that movie. I missed it. I didn't go. I bought that ticket. Didn't go to it. I was so mad. I was because all my jewelry was in that luggage too. So that's a lot of money that is a big bag of loose. Yeah. It's a big bag. So I'm pissed off. I'm in the room and Sarah's like, babe, come on, we can go see three o'clock. There's a three o'clock. You'll fine. All right. She took me to a bar. I got some drinks. I felt better. Right. I was say, you turned in

Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Shut up. So we go to the Mall of America to the worst movie theater ever, and I go, hey, can I buy a 3 p.m. movie ticket to Spider-Man? I go in there, right? It is empty. I'm like, thank God. I wanted to be empty, so no one's chit-chat, nobody's on their phone.

Like, I want to enjoy Spider-Man brand-new day the best way I can because I care about this movie. I've been waiting five years, right? So I sit down. Now, I'm in the second to last top row, right? Which is fine. Not prime, not prime, but I'm back there. Good.

But like I said, there's empty. There's only a per, there's only two people on the very bottom row, second row, very bottom. There's only two people down there. And then right before the movie starts, there's a group of like six girls that walk in. And they sit exactly next to us. Now I'm like, oh my God, no. And the rest of the theater is open, open. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. I would have got to move. I go, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And Sarah looks at me and she goes, and I go, mm-hmm. Now, I get up and I'm like, we're moving. Good, good. I'm so glad we did because the girls recognize me.

So I was like, I was like, I don't talk to me. Through here, you know, hey! No, no, no! Shut it down. So then I'm like, okay, Sarah, what is the best seat in this theater where we don't get annoyed with people in front of us, beside us? All we can get encapsulated in is the full screen. Tom Holland.

So I go, let's get in the very front row. Terrible decision. No, I like it. No, you need to be. That needs, that disciplinary measures. Terrible. So I get to the very front row, right? And I'm in the theater, right?

So I'm like, I'm in the movie. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I'm in it. You could touch the screen. I'm an extra in a brand new day. So I'm sitting now, and now there's a couple behind us. One girl really big and the guy, like, I'm being honest. Like, I hate you.

I hate you. I hate them. I hate them. And so there's a girl way too big. And then a guy, and he had open-toed like Jesus sandals on. and weird long stringy hair. And so, like, checked his backpack looking guy. So I didn't like it.

But they were fine. They were laying all the way down. They were reclined, right? And they were laying down. They were, this is the part that kills me. They were quiet the whole previews and trailers. They were silent the whole time. And so I was like, thank God I got a good group.

It's going to be fine. I'm going to watch Brand New Day. I swear to God, the first scene, a Spider-Man Brand New Day, A filibuster starts between them too. Yeah, so, no, that's the crazy thing is, and I don't even know why that they were doing this. Yeah, I don't even know why they would think to do that too.

Loud, dude, not like whispering. Oh, no. A full conversation. Now, Sarah, Sarah's a right or die. She knows how much this means to me. She hits a full spinneroo-ski. Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am. She's turning around, and then I go, I'm turning around, right?

And I give me like two or three turn-rounds. Because at some point, you could see this big six-seven, and turning around looking at you, right? You see me, dog. They're not. Two or three is insane. They didn't shut up. No way, they didn't shut up.

If you don't have a flibboard and you're not a literal movie critique, shut up. Shut up. And so the big girl's foot is right by my, right here. So I'm mad now. So I grab this foot. I swear to you, I grab her foot.

Payton, I was mad. Steven Harden, you did not grab a stranger's, yes, and you know, so big people got low feet, so I got a whole foot. fit. I got the whole hoof. It's like Robbie's pants. It's like, what is it from Dragon Ball? Majin Boo? Or the, or something to have, it's like a big, pit body, itty, bitty foot. And so I'm grabbing her hook, right? And it's, and I'm, I got a full grip on it. And she's, she turns and looks. and I go, hey, shut the fuck up. It was my first time telling a stranger to shut the

fuck up. Oh my God. You know what she did? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And left. Oh, you ruined her. Bye bitch! Concession stands! No, I'm okay. It's too much. It's a joke. No, you did not ruin this girl's day.

Ruin her day. I don't know what the first five minutes a brand new day is. I don't know. What still does that? I don't know. Five minutes and you ruined her day. I didn't tell her to leave. I said, shut the fuck up. I grabbed her foot. Yes, I did. Okay, think about this. You're a girl that's talking a lot, probably in her own zone, because she's talking a lot. And you just feel this. this.

Shut the fuck up. Oh, that'll spook you to your core. Shut up. Wait, you want to know, okay, it didn't grab her that aggressive. Put your leg up here. They'll see it on the wide camera. Okay, here we go. Put your leg up.

Put it right. This is about the, this about a fair distance, right? So, no, I know, they're married in real life though, and it's just beautiful thing. And I just, I mean, they, they work so well on the screen. Hey, yeah, shut the fuck up. Oh my, oh my God. That's it. No, that wasn't.

Oh my God. I'm sorry. Oh. I'm sorry. Yeah, so my Spider-Man brand-new day was almost ruined because of her. Holy shit. Okay, so much from that. The best part about this is I had no clue that you had an experience.

Yeah. Because my Spider-Man Day was the craziest film that I've ever been a part of. Wait, what do you mean? Do you like it? My Spider-Man, my Spider-Man on opening day, the movie got paused. My film was paused. my Spider-Man movie ceased in the middle of the film

and they paused it they paused your movie okay so we show up everything's normal didn't know there's a pause button up there I didn't know that yeah this is a DVD player back to last week what are you doing up there this is this Blu-ray

literally we sit down packed theater packed oh it sucks I hate that no we're opposite I like being immersed in the crowd oh no now I used to it comes with some chitter chatter too much chitter chatter but I don't mind it

because when the funny parts hit they're even more funny I can laugh on my own. I don't need you to laugh. I know it's funny. Honestly, I honestly feel like if you were in an empty theater at a fucking comedy movie, you wouldn't laugh once. You'd be like this.

Oh, that's funny. Oh, that's so funny. But that's me laughing. Anyway, I mean, whole experience. I had two hot dogs. Yeah, of course you did. Two hot dogs. Extra large popcorn.

Go ahead and layer that butter big dog. Someone grabbed your foot. Oh, yeah. But we're loving it. Previews, boom. Movie starts. Okay. great movie again we'll talk about it on patreon go check over there we're watching this movie and i

you're not i'm not going to spoil it but there's a part i could tell you but it's just say in the middle it's a conversational moment yes it's not a high like action moment so conversational piece and i swear to god yeah ned is talking and he literally was like oh yeah i just didn't even know that the whole screen freezes everyone in the theater went and that now i'm not gonna lie this sucks This is kind of about being an American. I have PTSD at this exact moment. Yeah, you're like, oh, we're getting us. Something's happening.

Yeah. The lights come on. No. The light, they turn the lights on in the movie. Oh, no, I'm out of it now. Oh, no, oh, my heart's, I'm at 190 BB. Regardless of being scared or something, my viewing experience is ruined.

Oh, it's completely ruined. My eyes can't go from dark to light and then we'll go back to dark. I can't guess. I went, oh, I went, shh. Oh, yeah. Vampires. I started turning to a were a werewell.

Yeah, my popcorn looks. nasty. I see crumbs on my cell. Oh, I was filled with crumbs, bro. There's a small piece of hot dog, too, on my lap. I don't know how that got there. But, so we're sitting there. Okay. I've never been a part of with a movie theater paused. The lights come on, and then two staff

members come out, and I said, oh, dude, this's happening. I said, where's the exit? Just tell them where they exit. And I sh-you-not, word for word. If you were part of this movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Is there an owner of a black Jeep Grand Cherokee probably looks like a 2022 model

Someone got a toad If you're in here We're gonna need you to come out To the parking lot There's been a fire Someone's A fucking car caught on fire A car blew up

In the middle of my Spider-Man viewing experience So then They've already We're the very last theater Yeah They've already cleared Every other theater

Apparently They go we've cleared every other theater. We believe the owner of the vehicle's in here. We're going to ask you to stand up. It turned into a cease and assist. They're patting people down looking for car keys. I thought, don't touch me.

I said, do not touch me. I drive a suburban. You ought to stand up in the middle of Spider-Man with the lights on you. It was this bright. Because a car blew up. I was in a movie theater this bright. A vehicle blew up apparently.

No shot. And I swear to God. And then they go, so they're looking around and then no one in art theater either. First off, you're not gonna search me. I'm not seven years old. It's not my car. It's like, are you a cop?

Yeah, it's like, let me think, not my car, the next person. So they clear art theater. No, no one has this Jeep. Yeah. So the guy literally goes, okay, sorry about that. Mind you, it's been like five to eight minutes. Oh, no, no.

Lights on movie, I've never seen that. I still see a net's face. He's like this. I swear to God, I should take a picture of it, bro. And he walks to the bottom, his little associate walks to them, He turns down and goes, all right, well, if you have the black Jeep,

Grand Cherokee will be outside, fire department's on the way. He's like doubling down on the line. Then he goes, enjoy your film. And then instantly, the lights cut down, movie starts. Some people still standing up. People are still talking. Oh, my God, there's a fire. They cut the movie right back on.

No, you got to at least rewind four minutes. So you're like, you got to start. You can pause. You can rewind. I forgot what we're talking about. Really, opening day. That sucks, bro. Dude, no, no, no, no, I'm so glad people are going back to the movie theaters and, like, the movie theater cultures becoming a thing.

I'm above it now. Like, I hate to be that guy. I can't, like, I can't deal with that. I care about cinema and film. I love cinema. I care about it too much. I go to, I went to the private movie theaters with, where they serve you dinner and it's supposed to be up-ity up-class. I'm taking pictures.

Selfies with a flash. With the workers. Have something. professionalism. Some decency. Goddibbby is talking the whole five minutes at a regular theater. I'm sitting on ripped leather. People are talking, ad libbing.

I mean, like, this isn't like, I get it. If we're watching 21 Jump Street, like ad lib with the jokes, we don't care if you talk. This is godfib peak cinema. Yeah, this is MCU. Oh, dude, we'll give the full review of the movie on our Patreon and spoilers and stuff. I'm excited for it. But, dude, I mean, just two tragic experiences. Yeah, that's crazy.

I'm going to go back, though. I'm going to go back and watch it. You're watching it again? Yeah, I'm going to watch it two or three more times. It's such a good movie. But I'm going to, I was telling you this before the movie came out. Any big theatrical release, now I'm just renting out the movie theater. And I know that might sound like elitist or whatever.

That's insane. Cool, whatever. I don't care. I don't care. But like, just think of it as me buying the movie for like $400. Right. But like, I can, I'll bring friends and stuff. Only the friends I know act right.

Like, Robbie's not going. Robbie can not come. Off rip, K. Robb's absolutely not invited that. He's going to go. He goes, boys, I'm not going to lie. What the fuck is he doing in that suit? What's he doing, man? I mean, how does he have that even?

What is it going on? You mean, you mean to tell me that's Tom Holland running up that bill? That's the fakeest I've ever seen. I mean, he's literally got about four stunt doubles. You can tell about the calf muscle on that one. You know, they probably took an Ajax, 82-millimeter. meter film to make that sum. I got that same camera.

It's Netflix approved. He goes, all I have to do is tweak a couple sentences. He goes, it's so great. And no, my mind, I can go on about care. I do. Hey, Rob. All right. This episode is brought to you by Quo.

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Money is on the line. Always say hello with Kuo. Try Kuo for free plus. Get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com slash Y-Sk. That's QUO.com slash Y-S-K. Now on to the rest of this episode. Dude, so, yes. I went to, how was your weekend?

I cannot wait to hear about it. I spent five days in Minnesota. I never thought I would say that, and I'll never do it again. Minnesota is actually really nice. I was surprised. A lot of strange creatures. I saw somebody dressed up as a cat. It wasn't a convention?

No, there was walking around the street. Just living their furry dreams. Love it for them. Yeah, hung out with a lot of superstars, WW superstars. We ended up staying at the same hotel. It was really fun. But I'll give a WWE Sam or Sam or same review too over on Patreon. Yeah, join the Patreon.

I'm not 100% sure you. You just spoke English. You said, I'll give you a WW SummerSlam review over on a Patreon because I was there third row. If you go watch the replay, you'll see me night too the whole time. But I almost broke up with Sarah whenever I went to SummerSlam. No, you didn't. Yes, I almost broke up with my girlfriend when I went to Minneapolis.

What in the hell happened? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I'm locking in. So we were in Minneapolis for SummerSlam. Me and Sarah were driving through downtown. We were in the back of an Uber. Now, there's a lot of weird people in Minneapolis. Just the name Minneapolis gives, like, if I feel like I'm going to see weird out.

Yeah, no, it's strange. Like, it's a weird city. I can't tell if everybody's, like, a homoerotic or thugs. Like, I had ever like a mix of two, which is fine, both of them, but I couldn't tell. I'd like to at least know, right? So, you can't prepare for Minneapolis. Yeah, you know, no, no, you can't study for it. Oh, no, no, no, you can.

It is a blind test. It was so, it was, like, it was, what I do love. about it's a melting pot of people. Like you get everything there. You go everything. Everything. So we were in the back of an Uber driving through downtown. Now there's a lot of people outside, right? There's a lot of homeless people, a lot of gang members, a lot of people dressed up as cats. Like there's a lot of strange we were saying. Now I was on my phone, right, like emailing or doing something. Sarah was looking at the window. We were driving past a group of people downtown and Sarah goes, oh my God. Oh my God, babe. Oh my God. Do you see that? And I go, what?

the what the what see what she goes did you see that guy and I go what guy she goes babe there was a guy and he was wearing yoga pants nothing but yoga pants and I was like okay she was like but they were like super tight and I go okay and she goes babe and I go what and she goes I swear to God she goes and he turned around and he had the biggest no you can't say what the her eyes got so big it was just a you give me PJs exactly how she looked she did the hands too she's like the biggest I mean the huge massive bit huge huge huge I was like shut up she go she goes she goes

And then as she was saying her sixth huge, I said, And then she went, she went, no, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean huge. I meant like, like really noticeable. And then I was like, there's no way. I said, Sarah, have you lost your mind? You can't say that to me. Like, I've never seen your eyes get that big.

Like she looked at me like like like she just like she's like she's like babe it was the biggest huge shoes it was huge it was huge starts going cross-eye I called my dad what I called my dad I said dad what do I do about this what do you say he said man I was like he said something like oh man you just compared it to yours man oh yeah she goes it was huge shoot and then so I went to go find the

turn around and look it's just that big oh dude God bless you I mean I'm not gonna lie but yeah

oh oh dude I need a second I'm not okay and that story literally is not exaggerated at all if she was here

right now she'd be doing that eh eh eh oh you're better man than me ask me

what I would have done in that car live goes babe this huge huge huge huge huge massive, like the biggest bulge I've ever seen.

Okay. Like, oh my gosh, this is the biggest, juiciest, fattest, most perfect, could take a nibble and it's still there. I'm talking, moving, hitch trailer, dragging a wagon, an ass that a blind man could follow,

and I want to grab. Oh, did you see her juicy? Olivia. Keep driving, Craig. That's what I would have done. Immediate taste your own medicine. Yeah, that was a lot. that was a lot happened this week,

but that was like the most like, that is, because she meant it to, it wasn't like she was joking with me either. She meant it, I know Sarah, she definitely meant it, she didn't realize in the moment

that the repercussion. That's when she caught herself and goes, no, no, no, it was just really noticeable. She goes like, it was ginormous,

but like not for me. It just like, it was out and like, it was there. She goes, no one likes the big ones anymore. No one likes them. She goes, babe,

your is just right. Babe, you're just perfect boyfriend's size. I swear to See, all women got to be careful what you'll say, bro. I'm four years into my marriage. If in the act or afterwards,

if there's a conversation happening, and my wife says, you're just perfect husband's size. I'm finding a online legal team that night. I'm taking the kids, the house, the money, it's all mine. I know you have a story, right?

Probably about, because you went to the middle of nowhere. But before you get into that, I have a question that I came up with in Minneapolis. Oh, okay. Because I was, because I'm traveling a lot, right? Like, just this week, I'm going to go, I went from Dallas to Minneapolis to Dallas. Tomorrow I'm going to New York and then going to Oklahoma. Yep. I'm just all over the place right now. A lot of travel. Which is great. It's a blessing. But as the traveling's going, I'm experiencing more life.

And I saw this question on a comment section of TikTok, but I forgot about it. And then whenever I was in Minneapolis, I thought about it because there's so many buildings. And there's so much construction that's happening on earth around the world. I'm not liking this. And this question is really good that I saw. I'm not liking this. How does the world not get heavier every time we build a building? How is the world just not got overly heavy?

I want to find the guy, before you answer it, I want to find the guy to give him credit who came up with this. Because it was a good question. His name. Derek's, oh, Derek, Derek, Derrick Casper Walker on TikTok. I go, hey, pick one. It's so, does the world get heavier whenever we keep building buildings?

Like how are we not just like, falling into eternal darkness? No. Absolutely not. That's not a good question? That is a stupid, that's a good question. If you're six. That is a good question if you believe in Santa.

Your favorite snacks a lollipop and your free time is riding your razor scooter. Oh, yes. How? Because doesn't that make sense? Okay, so whenever God made the earth, right? Yeah, let's keep going on. Whenever the earth was made, there was no buildings on it. None, not a single one.

All the pyramids. Then we got the Eiffel Tower. What a f*** jump, man. What a jump in the timeline. Great pyramids and, you know, Eiffel Tower. And then Jerry's World. Yeah. Twin Towers, Ival State Building, the Liberty Palace.

I don't know what these places are called. Sound like you're in the MCU, Empire State University. All just fake names. Okay, but then think about it. And then we got Dubai. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they made all the Burj Khalifa and the Whiz Khalifa. They made the Wiz Khalifa, the Burj Mendi.

Yeah, and then Melbourne and the opera and all the stuff they got over there. Whatever. Okay. Think about that. Everywhere has buildings and they're all big, and we keep getting bigger. And thinking Dallas, they're building a building right now. How is the world not sinking?

Okay, you ready? You ready for this mind-boggling answer? Yeah, sure. What are they building it out of? What? The buildings made out of. Answer that. I assume bricks.

Okay, well, bricks. Yes. Maybe steel. Steel, bricks. Maybe iron. Mud. A lot of mud, right? Yeah.

Where the f***. Does all that come from? The factory. Which comes from where? Excuse me? People made the factory. Oh, yeah, okay. What'd they make that out of?

Bricks, mud, iron. Where does bricks in mud and iron and wood and sand and all that shit come from? The ocean? Well, sand. I was answering the sand part. Sand comes from the ocean. Don't we make, we make bricks? Breaks are made an oven, brick oven pizza.

Bricks are made in an oven. oven, but they are made from the earth. Correct. Everything comes from the earth. Yes, that doesn't make it not make sense. If I build a thousand pound box out of the earth, I removed a thousand pounds in the earth. That's not true.

Okay, okay, okay, let's play the game. So you can't, so, so, so, so, so, so, if you, stop, sand, right? Yeah. It does not take 10 pounds of sand to make a 10 pounds. brick. It does not. Bricks aren't made of sand, you imbosite.

What are we building sand castles now? What are bricks made of? Not sand. What are they? I think it's clay. Okay. It doesn't make sure. Exactly.

It doesn't take it. Yes, it does. It does not. It does not. It does not. It does not. It does not. It does not.

I almost called you Olivia. That's how bad of a statement you're making around. It doesn't. Olivia. So you're saying everything is a one to one ratio. Okay, then shut up.

It's not one to one. But everything comes from, matter cannot be created nor destroyed. Everything that we have. Who the fuck are you, Rosa Parks? Shut up. Philosophy Phil. Everything that has been here is here. That's not true.

There's man-made things. Name them. There's man-made metals in shit. Man-made metals. Yes. Please give me a name because it's not vibrational. We're not splitting the sky up. We're going to Flanda.

Careful. No, it's steel and all that shit. Okay, but it's not a one-to-one ratio. You don't think there's any building that outweighs the materials it costs to make. Because then you put furniture on that, and you put people on that, and what is furniture made out of? The only thing? It's cotton.

What? We're sitting in a sock right now? You're not making... So how does it not get heavier then? Because that's... It's an equal and opposite reaction of what you're saying? That's the earth for every big. Maybe that's born that someone's gotta die.

That's not true. That's not true. I know it's not, but I'm saying. So you're wrong, so stop saying it. But I'm saying that I'm proving your point, that's not one to one. Exactly. So, it's balance out.

Not really. Human beings, we're popping up more than, to make- We're gonna run out of land. That's fine. So the land's gonna sink. It's not gonna sink. You don't think sea levels are rising?

If you make a building, that uses materials, that the materials came from the earth. They have big, cobalt mines. They take a little bit of cobalt. But the cobalt mine makes the iPhone. But the cobalt mine, the cobalt mine weighs on the earth.

And then you're making stuff that weighs more on the earth. So it's more weight than making. Dude. What? People are on there. It's the big shit for the theater. She's going to be in there. Your kitchen table.

Yeah. It's wood. That came from wood. It's Korean wood. People plant trees to make more wood. This has gone too long. I thought you had an answer. Guess I'm right.

That is an answer. That is an answer. Here's your answer. Matter cannot be created nor destroyed. But it can be added onto. No. Matter plus matter equals more matter. Yeah, but they were both already here.

Yes, but if you put on top each other, it weighs more than an originally originally. No, it doesn't because it was both already here. It was both already here. Okay. That's just a question. This episode of the Ushino podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. You've heard me talk about BetterHelp for a long, long time,

but I don't know that we've ever actually talked about how much people love this service when they use it. I mean, whenever we do our tour, whenever I meet you on the street, that's one of the most fulfilling things is when y'all come in me and tell me that y'all have been using BetterHelp and how much it is, you know, helped your progress. You can check it out yourself at BetterHelp.com slash reviews to see amazing customer reviews in real time. Did you know that more than 6 million people have used BetterHelp globally? The consistent feedback from real users makes it easy to see why so many people continue to choose BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get started and BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience. So see the reviews, see what stands out, and see if BetterHelp is right for you.

Visit betterhelp.com slash Y-S-K. That's better, h-E-L-P.com slash Y-S-K. Now on to the rest of the episode. How was your weekend? It's terrible. My weekend was terrible. Palo-O-C-L-L-L-O-Glo-O-L-O-Glo-N needs to burn. So many people asked, oh, can you talk about it?

on the pot. Here's your shot. So what happened? You yeah, you told me that you had a rough weekend. Okay. We're, we're going to go. First off, I also, I want to say I will never be back. Now, it's not, it's not against y'all. There's a ton, honestly, a ton of really nice people. Also a ton of creeps. So let's start here. The second we pull up, we go, hey, let's stop at a Walmart. You got to stop going to Walmart at Oklahoma. I was just about to say, if you're in Oklahoma, when you don't live there, just go through if you can. We stop at a Walmart before going to the hotel, get a couple of things, right?

When I tell, I mean, and this is not an exaggeration, and there's going to be, I'm just going to say this. Being in a Walmart for 10,000 minutes, okay, I saw a person being dragged by their dog. Like, they had them on a leash, and the dog said that I'm the human today, and a human being, and it was kind of sad. She was like, maybe 50.

She was sliding on tile. A dog was literally taking her. It was like a sick little reindeer. Yeah, unpopular opinion. Stop bringing your dogs in stores. Yeah, dogs, leave them at the house. Dogs are animals. Don't bring them in.

And guess what? That was not a service dog. No, that's not. He didn't have a cool jacket or a patch. I can tell when your dog's a service dog. Some of y'all's dogs need service. Okay, so woman sliding on the ground. Yeah.

Okay, I saw a, I gave a handshake to a man that, unfortunately, I did not check his hand before shaking his hand. It was the dirtiest hand I have ever seen. Oh, yeah. Bad balls? black he had scratches and scars no not like no the man I touched this guy I didn't look at him I looked down on shaking a black guy's hand I pain you will not believe the disgust and chills that went over my pure white body when I touch that black man's head you will not believe it

the man was white he was white as snow his hand was like like he's a mechanic oh smut black there's a booger on this pinky finger I swear to God kill him and I literally I literally left, I went to where the germex is, I opened the bottom, I went. I hate that. It was terrible. A couple of things I'm not gonna say, might be insensitive.

So the Walmart trip, boom, we leave. We then go to Chili's. And now this was the closest I have ever been to saying, you know, hey, I'm gonna need my food to go. I'm gonna leave respectfully. So we go in there, a lot of people notice, that's fine, amazing. Now the first couple that comes up,

they asked for a picture. Me and Liv are sitting there eating the chips and sauce. I go, yeah, sure, yeah, no problem. I get up very small. booth. I get up. Oh wow, you're so tall. Smile, honey, little baby right here. And the husband goes, oh, thanks, buddy. They leave. Okay. They come back five minutes later. Don't come back. They come back five minutes later. Now our actual food is out. Hey, buddy, I'm sorry. You're going to have to get up again. You weren't in the picture. I said, I hate to sound like that. The picture of me? The picture you took

of me? I wasn't in it. How's that word? I was in the picture of me. How does that happen? Oh man, I don't know. Let's do another. That's like not can you nothing. Let's do another. Get on up, buddy. And I'm like, oh, I'm going outside. I'm going outside.

And you got up, didn't you? Take it. I'm on the phone with you at this point. Yes, you did call me. I called you for a brief moment. I am on a FaceTime like this. Yeah. Showing my wife back and forth in another grown man.

Hold my phone. I'm going to show you exactly the way it did. Another grown man came in like this. He said, Slope. Slowly inched his hand and just went, and I covered my face. Like, I'm on an active line.

And he went, yeah. And I went, he said, sorry, man, I was sitting over there with the friends and the wife. You know, we just saw a lot of people taking pictures of you. Don't know who you are. What do you do, man? You like an athlete or something?

And I go, no, I am on a phone call. That's one thing. Me and this guy, we have a podcast. Yeah. He goes, oh, okay, just the podcast. See you. Just the podcast. Just the podcast.

Not interested in. Not cool. And the best one. Yeah. We're getting ready to leave the Chili's. We go, we take a picture with the whole crew that then posts it on their Talakawa Facebook. Fantastic for you. And then we walk out.

Talakawa. And this guy goes, oh, damn? And I'm like, yeah, cool dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah, what's up, man? He goes, oh, how's Jackson? What's Jackson? I'm Jackson?

He goes, how's Jackson? That's racist. How's Jackson? I'm floored. I go, Jackson. I go, I don't know.

Who's Jackson? He goes, come on, man. Don't do that. Do you see all are so funny? Jackson, how is he? And I go, I look at Liv.

I'm like, who's, like, help me. You're my lifeline. Help me. Who's, is Jackson? I don't know what Jackson.

He goes, dude, come on. It's not funny anymore. Your buddy made videos with. I said, and this is my favorite part of the whole trip.

I said, oh, Jackson. I played into it. I get no respect, bro. I said, oh, dude, honestly God, I thought you might have, like, known me, like, you thought you knew me locally or something. I thought you were talking about a friend.

No, Jackson's good, man. I said, Jackson's great. He's actually in Minnesota right now. Jackson's at summer. I was trying to plug it as many times ago. He said, Jackson's at SummerSlam. He's doing good, man. He goes, man, F-Jaxon.

He says some crazy things, man. Crazy things. I said, oh, you sound like you do, too, pal. He said, all right, well, all right, Cam. Grizzly hand. His hand was that a fucking dig. He goes, all right, Cam, hey, you tell Jackson. I said what's up.

And I said, I will tell Jackson. No, I feel it's going to be an ongoing joke when people come up to me. They're going to call me Jackson. Dude, show respect. Call him, Peyton. Oh, dude, I'm getting tired of people coming. Like, I'm fine with people coming up to me. Like, this weekend was a lot, which is fine.

Never be afraid to come up to me. Yes, never. If you don't know my name, shouldn't come up to me. I think that's, yeah. No, no, no, no, that's fair criteria. That's a fair criteria. That is a fit. Dude, okay.

Again, I love, I always say yes. I, I've never, I've never said no to a picture. I've never said no to a picture and I never will. That's amazing. I love seeing the people in person. If you just say, oh, I've seen you and you go like this, what's your name, your friend's name and the name of what y'all do again? I'm just going to go, have a good day.

I mean, no, that's fine. I'm fine with that. Don't call me. Oh, dude. Dude, walking around this weekend of SummerSlam in like the mall. Cam! Cam! All the time.

Now, I always get it, and I'm used to it, and I'll turn around the majority of the time. I'll be like, what's up? I'm just going to be Cam. I'm just going to correct it? No. Oh, I always correct. I'm not waiting. You obviously aren't that big of a fan, so this interaction is not going to matter.

That's true. But I'll always be like, yeah, whatever, I'm Cam. Cool. Dude, but it got to a point where I got called Cam 550 times this weekend, and so I just was stopped. I would stop turning around. And people thought I was an asshole. But that's not my name.

So I can't turn around it. So that's the complete noise. If someone said, Eduardo! Yeah, you're not. Or A. A. Oh, yeah, A is not my name. Hey, I'm not going to turn around at that.

Oh, I haven't got a lot of grabs. Oh, a lot of grabs. Stop me. Don't grab and stop me. Or like this. Hey. Oh, and then another thing that happened. Oh, dude.

Like, so I would be walking through SummerSlam right now. I was taking pictures with people, like, just trying to go to the bathroom, which is fine. I have no problem doing it. and I'll stop every single time. I was taking pictures. But then people saw that people were taking pictures with me.

And then they were just taking pictures and didn't know. So I'd take a picture. I'd be like, yeah, thank you, bro. And then they'd go, what do you do? Oh, yeah. Who are you? Oh, my God. How do you go?

Nobody. Yeah, no, people, they literally be like, do I have no idea who you are or what you do, but everyone else taking picture. Can I go on? It's so weird. Oh, that one irks me. I'm not going to lie.

So weird. I'm a little, I don't know. I still say yes, but that one irks me. I congratulate so many times on my second kid. I have kids now. No. Confusing the names is one thing. Confusing.

The life. Very Caucasian lives. Yeah. It's your children. Yeah. That's insane. Have you ever been called Payton or no? Yes.

Okay, good. But I always go, oh, no, no, no, dude, Peyton's the other guy. I'm Cam. Oh, my bad, Kirk. Can we take the picture? Dude, my favorite thing is whenever they, it's something when I do correct, I go,

oh, I'm not Cam, I'm Payton. Cam's the uglier half. They go, God, dude, he is fucking idiot. Dude, he is a goblin. Let's take the picture, man. Jackson's funny. That is fun. I used to go fishing

when I was a little girl. Had to be real quiet on it. You were saying? What happened? What just happened? You don't have to go fishing when you was a little girl? You had to be real quiet on the girl.

Quiet on the lake. You didn't have to go fishing when you was a little girl. I used to go fishing when I was a little girl. My grandmother said I had to be quiet on the creek. I think we're adding more instruments. What was this? What was this?

What was this? on the creek when you're, well what? You're talking about little girl fishing and you're doing that. Oh, don't you add the dog. Don't Dr. Seuss me, you creed. I just don't know what's happened. You haven't seen any quiet on the creek.

Is that a show? Yeah, it's on HBO man. No, it's a trend, you idiot. Oh, I don't watch TikTok trends. I don't, I really don't get, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. Because it's flooded my,

okay, first off, my wife showed me and then you know they listen to us and the FBI agents, text the TikTok agents. Quiet on a crowd. Now you gotta bounce. What's the trend? What do you do?

You shake your... Oh, I need to watch that. As you go, all you get quiet on the creek. Now, women... Women! Women! Women shake their assets! Uh-huh.

It's literally it. Really? It was that talking point. I used to go fishing when I was a little girl. Some grandmama told me I had to be real quiet on the creek. And then someone just remixed it through a little... behind it. It's quiet on the creek.

Yeah. And literally, it's women going like this. You know what I've... learn about you, bro. And it's sad that it's happening. Dude, you've like full form dad. It's like, it's like you're in a full form. You know, it's like when Captain America came out of the ice and like he was big, you're, you came out of ice and you're just like, uh, show me for first. Yeah, you, you, you, I went in big and I came out like this. Yeah. I came out of Steve Rogers. You go through your phone like this. You're like,

I go, good. Babe, turn it. Tell us. Kids, shut it. I go, day, tell mine and shut his So you come in here and practice little quiet on a creek. Yeah, your phone is sick. This episode is brought to you by G-L-D. Fellas, fellas. Summer is here, and we're just smack-dab in the middle of it. I know it's pool season. There's pool parties.

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Oh, no, give me your phone. Give me your phone right now. Trust me, that's a wicked ask. That's a wicked ass. I know. Give me your phone. Why? Give me your phone.

Just give me your phone. You're putting quiet on the creek on there? No, I'm not putting quiet on the creek on there. No, something's sicker than quiet on the creek. You know, honestly. I'm not going to why this has to be talked about. You have to get you. You need it unlocked?

It's an unlock it. Just trust, trust your brother. Unlock it. This. What? What's wrong with my phone? This man, you have the most disgusting phones. What is wrong with my phone set up?

You are the most disgusting phone set up I have ever seen in my entire life. What's wrong with how I set my phone up? I'm just gonna start from the front. I saw this the other day. You were sitting there, you were showing me shit and whatnot. And I literally, like, I wanted to say it in the moment. I said, I have to do this in front of the world. I said, the world deserves this.

Do, this is not. No, no. This might be private. It's not my fault. This might be, oh my God, don't get that small. Sit up and take this like a man. This is disgusting. My girlfriend makes fun of me too.

This is absolutely disgusting. And we're going to figure out something to show y'all. Okay, we're going to start from not even the first screen. When you swipe all the way left, You still have Cupertino on your weather. That's where the Apple headquarters is. Grow up and put Dallas. Is that what Cupertino is?

Yes, that's where the Apple little fias in California somewhere. That's where they make all these things at. Cupertino. See, I don't believe in checking the weather at for weather. Just go outside. And you know how it scrolls through the pictures? This one right here that's on right now, that's a dog that you don't even have. That's not your dog.

It's not your dog and it's not Benny. So that's strange. It was a lady I saw outside. She had a cute dog, so I said, kind of take a picture of it. Okay. P? This first screen. This first screen.

Okay, first off, you have it in a Tetris format. You try to be abstract when you don't need to. You try to do shit. Just put them in blocks, put them in rows. It's like three, two, one. The fact that we live in 2026, and you have SoundCloud, you have SoundCloud downloaded and fully operational.

Yet Google Frient calendar is offloaded on the phone. You can't get Google Calendar, which we use every day for work. No, okay. I have to use. There's still some songs that are just on SoundCloud from like middle school. You want to listen to Little Zan and perk 45 chop aside, but you don't want to look at when we got to upload something on Google Calendar. That is, oh my God, dude. This actually makes me mad. His, his home, the little favorite apps at the bottom is messages, 536 of them. DeVote one hour to clean that up. One out. I got too many people text.

Messages, music, and Southwest Airlines. That is incredible. And the best part, the best part about your first. All those three are on his favorite tab at the bottom. They never leave. They're always there. Messages, music, Southwest Airlines, they're also all on the first page.

You have two buttons. You get two chances to touch them. Two chances. First of all, Cam, I haven't flown South Airlines. West about six years. I'm like, well, I was just about to say what? I don't take my phone bottom screen as important. I take that his throw away. Payton, every swipe, I'm actually getting more mad. This next page, you have two messaging apps. The title of the folder or the little folder is a dot, a period. That's creepy and there's

probably a lot of weird stuff that happens there. Oh, it's like slack and stuff. Slack? Yeah, it's like slack because I was trying to get it for y'all because my employees are incompetent. Oh, f*** off. And then you have games, the Apple Games logo thing that you've never opened. Preview in Snapchat again! Your Snapchat's not that important!

I think you Snapchat like six years. Oh my God, oh my God. There's been like two years as I've touched the app. The next page is equally as incredible. The entire page is the music app. It's the music app. And it's on your face. It never leaves.

In the middle of your favorite bar, it never leaves. And this whole page is the music app. Whole page. Next page. The entire page. TikTok. Just one. One app for a whole page.

What in an... Okay. I could get behind this if it was a dope wallpaper. You have it towards blurred. Like you're literally looking at nothing. Because there's nothing to look at. If there's a picture back there with the abs,

it hurts my eyes. I can't see the app. Dude, you need to be... I mean, you need to be... Okay. Now this, this is absolute nonsense. The next page is books. There's not a single other app.

You don't read. You don't read. You don't do e-books. You don't do audio books. You don't read. You don't consume literature. You do not read. Why do you have the books app?

Because I would just push this further to the end when I find new apps that are more important. God, you put that at the end because I'm never going to use it. Take it off of the home page. You could get rid of it. Yes. Okay. And then, okay.

And oh my God, you're not lying. That literally is your last page. Yeah, that's your last page. You have like 20 apps, but then. Why are... Okay, this organizes it for you, but I was about to say, why are all these?

What games are those? Oh, those... What? This looks like my son's iPad. It's Bayblade. That is a Bayblade. Not one, but you have two Bayblade iOS.

You have two Bayblade games. And heads up, right? Heads up. Clash Royale. You've never played Class. And is that Roblox? Are you nine? I downloaded I downloaded Roblox

Oh no dude, no you're different. No no no I see Sephora. Oh you're different bro. There's a Sephora I downloaded Roblox because Sarah's friend's kid wanted to play Roblox on my phone Did Sarah's friend's kid went order makeup too? Or did that just for Sarah? You have a Sephora app for yourself, for your makeup. Me and my mom used to share point. Hey, bro.

Hey, I love you, man. I love you. I want you to know that before anything gets out there or anything, any comment or anything. I love you. I just thought, you know, I thought that was a unique build. I don't take my phone that's serious, bro. I'm not on it like, you all.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're on your phone like it's your bloodline. Like, it's literally like an IV. That's funny, man. You've got to pump in the phone to you. Okay, next time, I guess I'll organize my phone. I didn't think it was that serious.

Please, please do. Sorry, I care about other people's kids. Sorry, you don't care about your kids. But whenever Malachi is old enough, he's going to take my phone for games. I have Bayblade level. I have shit for my son. I just don't have the music app in three different locations. I don't have Southwest Airlines on my favorites row.

And I don't have Cupertino as my weather. It's SoundCloud. SoundCloud. 26. Yeah, dude, there's, there's like, before Drake put out, um, whatever that album was. Bayblade. Bayblade. There's some like old on there that like you can't get anywhere else but SoundCloud. And why do you not have a, why do you not have a wallpaper at the bare minimum? I do. It's just blurred. But it's glazed over. Why? My eyesight's bad. It hurts. Dude, you're, I mean, we need, we need to do like a go fund, like a crowd sourcing for you. Just fix it all.

Fix everything. This episode is brought to you by Mar. Mars men. Guys, guys, guys, we all know that age is always slowly ticking up and you might not feel how you used to feel. You start seeing the little things. You're exhausted throughout the day. Your stomach's holding on to a little more fat. You're more irritable and you're less motivated. But that is exactly where Mars Men comes into play. Mars Men is different because it uses natural ingredients to support healthy testosterone production while also helping your body manage your cortisol levels. There's no weird stimulants, there's no synthetic hormones. It supports healthy T levels and stamina. And you want better gym performance and lifts? Right here, Mars Men, good morning to you. And my personal favorite part about Mars Men, there's a 90-day money-back guarantee, so there's no risk whatsoever. For limited time, our listeners get 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts at men go to mars.com. That's men go to mars.com for 50% off and three free free.

gifts when you check out. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you, get your testosterone, lower that cortisol and go get 50% off and three free gifts. We love you Mars men. Now on to the rest of the episode. This episode is brought to you by Cash App. Guys, Malachi is starting to get a little old on me, right? He's a little cute. He's starting to understand stuff. I showed him a dollar the other day and it had my mind spiraling. I need to teach this boy. about money, but I thought, what would his debit card look like if you could have one? You probably have Spider-Man on it, maybe a little couple dinosaurs here and there, maybe some little

critters. But thanks to Cash App, that is not too far away. Cash App now offers managed accounts for kids ages 6 to 12 that grow them all the way to adulthood, all with no subscription fees, because building money habits shouldn't cost extra. Let me tell you about it, you can set spending limits so you know exactly how much they can. You can lock and unlock their Cash App Visa card at any given time. automate their allowance through the app, which makes it very easy for you. It's because, you know, as parents, we're forgetful and we got a lot of stuff to do. And the best part is your kids can start building real saving habits by earning interest on their savings.

If you're ready to start teaching money habits without adding more stress to your play, download cash app and set up a managed account for your child today. For limited time, new cash app customers who are parents can use our exclusive referral code, family 10 to earn $10. Download cash app into the referral code in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you will receive the $10 terms apply. Cashab is a financial services platform, not a bank bank, and services provided by Cash app's bank, bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC.

Cash app, Visa Debt, Flex cards issued by sudden bank member FDICC, the Bankcourt Bank in A pursuant to a license from Visa USA. See terms and conditions for the sudden prepaid card, sudden debit flex card and bank court debit flex card savings and offers provided by Cash app, a managed account for kids, 6 to 12. Visit cash.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. rest of the episode. Okay, you know, we're gonna fix something else. And I hope to God that we are on the same side of this. I was eating the other day with my wife. This is like literally two nights You were eating? Whoa. I was eating with my wife. Was the sun out, dude?

I was eating with my wife and she grabs a thing, a brand new pack of blueberries and orange. Okay, we're on our little hell. Blueberry and what? And an orange. I'm starting to laugh because of what is happening. She grabs a blueberry and an orange. Okay. And this isn't like a little cup orange, regular orange. She peels it, and there's all that, like, all those vines and skin and all that stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the blueberries, didn't wash them. So some stems in.

She just starts going to town on it. Yeah. And I called her out. I said, that's absolutely disgusting what you just did. I can never eat that. It's like dead skin. And she goes, what are you talking about? I go, that's on the fruit.

We get to the point. I said I would 10 times out of 10. I would rather remove all of that from my fruit, the skin, the stems, all that, than fat from meat. I would chew on an endless gristle piece of fat till I die before I eat a stem off of a little blueberry or a skin off of an orange. I think that's disgusting. Do you think the skin on an orange is disgusting? Yes, like when you open the orange and the little viny things in there, I'm not eating that. Why?

I pick it off with surgical precision. There's none of that on my food. Why? Because that's nasty. What's nasty about it? That's not the fruit. The fat. It's a part of it.

The fat on a meat, that's fat. We all got the fat. That's there. Some people are like, ooh, let me cut all that fat out. Oh, I get it because it's healthy. You're like, I could eat the fat all day. It's like cannibalism. No.

It's a texture thing. I don't like the fat. It's a texture thing. I don't like the fat at all. I hate that. I love lean meats. I would cut off every piece of fatty bacon. Like, I love the fat.

Hell no. I would get rid of all that. Really? I'm saying, for whatever reason, fruits I hold at a different level. Which would you rather do? Would you rather get rid of... You like the skin on oranges? I've never thought about the skin on oranges.

Like the corky part in an apple? What's the corky part of an apple? The core? The core. Who eats the core of an apple? I'm not gnawn on it, but I'm saying if you cut your slices too thin, then like sometimes you can get a little rubbery part right in the middle. That's nasty.

I think this is... Banana, the bad little stringy part? Huh? I think you're becoming undiagnosed. Undiagnosed? No, no. I think we're showing something here. The strings on a banana, those, terrible.

Nasty. I've never thought about this, like ever. Like, it's not a problem. It just comes with it. That's this, there's, okay, there's no way you don't think about that. You don't wash your fruit. Yes, I wash my fruit. Okay, think about the, like, that's like the leaves on the straw.

I mean, you already told me that. I'm talking to the worst-st-st-fuss person in America. I eat strawberries whole. Like, I don't think about it. It's a part of the fruit. The fruit person would understand what I'm saying. No, I don't think so. I think you're so strange about how you're viewing fruit.

I don't think anybody's thinking about the strings on it or like the skis. Fruit is a delicate, beautiful thing. I don't want all the imperfections. I don't want all the imperfections. No. But that's what makes fruit fruit because it's natural. Like that's the, that's to me is the beauty of it. Get your upsell.

Dude, that natural, those tiger stripes? That's what makes you, you. Yeah, it's like, dude, I love it. It's beautiful. I just don't understand that. What? Like a watermelon? What's wrong?

You open up a watermelon. It's that like ultra grainy, nasty one. It's bad time of season. You go to the trash. Hell not. Oh my God. Blueberries with a little stem, a stem piece. I'm allergic to blueberries.

Grapes. When you get inside a grape and one of those little seeds are just hard and like all that. I've never had a, I've never eaten a seed out of a grape. I'm eating more natural. Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry that I can't.

It's a big. That's so strange. Pineapple the part you chewed it is Oh, you're allergic to pineapple Yeah No, I forgot that's not Yeah, but I genuinely Literally I've never thought about that

I think no one does I think you're literally the only person Did Liv say anything about this? She said I was crazy too Yeah, you're alone bro You're on island Okay, no no no, leave in the comment right now Don't tell me I'm not crazy

Someone out there knows exactly what I'm saying Exactly what I'm saying You're alone on an island bro It's the same way with the meat If a beautiful state comes out And there's a, literally a thing of fat that big. I'm sawing it off. That's my last piece that I eat.

I love it. The fat of like anything is so good. I would saw that off before I even took a bite of the regular meat. Why don't you just get a steak without the fat? Like what's the kind of? Oh, I do. I order a certain lean, lean. But I'm saying I would rather deal with that than the fruit.

Is it because you don't like the texture of it? Bro, it's texture. And it's not food. I'm eating grass. It stems. You like the part of that bacon that hangs over and it's just fat? No. Oh, dude.

No, sir. I literally go, I dangle that shit. That's my favorite part. Watching that? What? I'm eating the bacon. That is irreversible. That might have been the first ever irreversible thing that's ever happened on this podcast.

So do you cut it off for your kids? Oh, no, I feed them to him like a pig. Yeah, see, I think I would treat you. Oh, the fruit? Yeah, that's what it started. Oh, as I said, I think I'd treat your kids better than you treat them. Did you just say you could raise my kids better than me? You said you could raise my children better than their own father.

They would have more fun with me. That does not mean. Your kids would have way more fun with me in their life than you. If I stepped in as a father. Payton, first off, ouch! And that's not true. And that is not true in the slightest. Payton, two under two is a beast.

You have no idea how to handle. No idea how to handle. Okay, 2002, having two kids under the age of two, which is stupid is the same thing as having one under one. No, it's not. And I'm actually, I'm actually going to prove that. Do you remember how you took a,

you took a quiz about Malachi? What? Way back in time? Remember how you took a quiz? Way back in time? That was like, what, over a year ago? Is this Fri-Wizard of Oz? Way back in,

are you okay? Do you remember how you took a babysitting quiz? Yes, like a year and ago. Yeah, well, guess what? A year end ago? Yeah, we added another child in that time. Yeah. So I'm going to now quiz you on two under two under two.

babysitting. Okay. That's fine. It's the same thing. We're gonna see how safe my kids. Babysitting two kids is the same as babysitting one kid. Oh, dude, shut your fuck. I do good babysitting Malachi. I'll do the same if the other ones around. Okay. Okay. Dude, it's not that hard. The other kid, all he does is scream and have his eyes open. Okay. Okay. Let's see this. Hey, it's lunchtime. What? It's lunchtime for the kids. I am starving.

Oh, I'm starving. Okay, so this is the first question. First question of the quiz. It's lunchtime. You have an infant and you have a toddler. Okay. How old's a toddler? Well, he's one. Okay, so an infant and a one-year-old.

You have an infant and a one-year-old. What are you feeding him for lunch? What are you feeding him? Mr. Humphab-Fle-Fle-Best ever? What do you feed him? Do I know them? Yeah, you actually do. Yeah, you do.

These are my kids. You said you can raise better. Can your kid talk? What? He can say some words. He's a good little deep roller decks. Okay, does he know food? Yeah, he says, so he knows what he wants.

So if he just goes, bube. If it says big bear Boopair What? Boob bear If your kid says blue Blueberries Kids getting blueberries

And that's all you're giving them He's 21 Dude Are you a man Are you a grown man? Yes With a nutsack, let it hang Be an adult

Shoes what the kid gets for lunch You said what am? What are you like this? Sucker Sugar Lollipop Candy candy candy Would you just give it to him?

Can he say all that? No Then I don't have to worry about it. Okay, what do you think? Wait, okay, slow down. He says, boob, ask him what he wants. Yeah, blueberry. And that's it, that's his lunch.

It's his lunch. I can fill them up on blueberries. It's healthy, it's better than eating. That's a terrible meal. Yeah. That's terrible. What do you mean, yeah? And then what he gives, the other kid gets.

What did you just say? And then the other kid, the infit, gets blueberries. You're feeding my 10-week-old. 10 week old that doesn't have, that doesn't have teeth. Doesn't have teeth. Oh, I'll squash them, I would turn into wine almost. Step on the blueberries. I don't know what they eat.

It's not my job. I'll get them milk. You're the babysitter. Oh, the other one gets milk. I'll make them milk. You don't give them, you do not give them whole milk. You make him formula. Oh, almond milk.

He's 10 weeks old. He's almond milk would send my son to a, I mean, he'd be spitting up everywhere. Okay, then I won't feed him. I don't know. Oh, that's great. It's a good answer. Hey, you start off real hot, hot shot. Okay. Let's say, uh, let's say you're giving the one-year-old a bath.

Okay. You're giving the one-year-old the bath. He's going, eh, eh, eh. You're given the one-year-old bath. Okay. And the 10-week-old starts screaming, crying, and he's hungry and needs to feed. What do you do? So the one-year-old's bathing.

In water, in water. The 10-week-old needs to feed. Yep. Needs to feed like he's a horse. Needs to feed. Oh, they need to feed, buddy. So he needs to eat. I got to feed the baby, the infant.

It's just you? Where is the infinite? He's in, let's say he's in his bassinet. Right outside the door. Oh, ignore him. How long does it take for the one-year-old debate? Let's say it's a good bath. What's a good bath?

10, 12 minutes. Oh, he's fine. Shampoo, can it? Ignore him cold for 12 minutes. I'm gonna eventually feed him. Do you want to hear what that sound like? Ah! Yeah!

Yeah! That's what I do. Oh, close the door. I bet we can't hear him, can we? Rub-dab-dub in the tub. No, no, you want to not honestly do? What would you do? Honestly.

I'd pick the kid up and grab him food and bring him with me to watch the other kid. Okay. I'd be right back, Malachi, and I'd go and... Why are y'all looking at me like that? You would be right back. A one-year-old in a tub that's filled with water. Yeah, never getting enough.

I pick him up out of the water. But naked. Yes, I pick him up out of the water, put him on the floor. And go, sit there, sit, sit. I go, stay, stay, stay. Stay like this. Go stay, stay, I gotta go feed your brother. And then I'd bring him, he'd be fine.

So don't get in that water, here we go. Next question. Okay, obviously, we're two questions in. Obviously I would make sure you give them to me bathed. I wouldn't bathe the kid. I'm not there yet. He could get dirty in your house. He eats an uncrustable.

He puts peanut butter in his hair like this. Oh, that's a at home problem. That's a training issue. Oh, that's a training issue. You just said, stay. Sit, sit. Good boy. Good.

He's a treat. Poodle. Yeah, okay. Next one, just make it easier. Okay, yeah, sure. Both kids are awake. They're both wide-eyed and wide-awake, and they both want to play.

How do you play with them? I'd be like, that's what brothers are for. I'll go ahead. I'm like, hey, y'all do it. Pick it out. And I'm going to be like this. I'm watching WWE. Malachi, I beg this.

A toy. Hit his brother. And I go, easy. You go down, boy. Put it down. They can't play together yet. What do you think 10 week olds do? You said the 10 week old wants to play.

You said it. Yeah, it's called tummy time. He wants to look at contrasts and abstract black and white images and sit on the stomach. He's not doing that. That's made up liberal. Comedy pod, bro. It's comedy pod, dude. I don't mean that. There's nothing wrong with the liberals. Okay, you can't give me an answer. Okay, scratch the 10 week old because God knows if you say your answer, you might be incarcerated. Like, I don't even know, I don't even what you say what you play with.

I said something that can get me in jail. No, I'm saying, if you even attempt to display with your words, how you would play with a 10 week old. I'm not playing. First of all, 10 week old is not played. If I'm around, you're not playing. playing bro, you lay down. So they just lay down. For a day, yeah. Sorry if that slows your development down, but for the day you're with Uncle B dude, sit down. You absolutely, wrong? No, that's not wrong. You saying this and then claiming you can raise my kids better, that's wrong. That's crazy. I forgot I said that. Yeah. What, how would you play with Malachi? I'm getting the pain. You and Malachi, same way I play with them now. In your house for the whole day.

Oh, you, you play with them now for 30, 45 minute increments. Yeah, first of all, Malachi is not having access to the whole house. Malachi at first I'm getting you know those things I can't say that I would give him a playpin you go I get him a hell in a cell first I'd give him like this big pin like that's open or I always have access to him but like this big like gate almost and it would it would seem like he has so much free rain he can run around and everything but he's not leaving the living room like you know what I mean you know what is just absolutely crazy and so mind-opening about this I think in your mind,

human being children and dogs, they're one-in-one. You have said, you said, sit, stay. Hey, hey, put it down. Hey, hey, hey, get that out of your mouth. Drop that. No, I'm getting him a pen.

There's going to be a food bowl and a water bowl. He's got to lay out of the ground. You are treating my kid. I want to get him a water bottle. I'd give him a water bottle or something. A water bottle. He can't drink out of water bottles yet? I don't know.

I don't know the developmental things of kids. I do not know. Like, every time I see your son and he, he like gets a new attribute and I'm like I feel like he just like raised his eyes like for the first time the other day oh god you're set you have one more this is your last one if you're holding the infant and the toddler starts to scream and cry the one year old screams say he gets hurt in the other room he's screaming crying so I'm holding the little one holding the 10 week old your one year old starts screaming crying in the other room what do you do hey hey

It's like a painful scream. I go, hey, what's going on in there? No, I'd walk in there. I'd walk in. First of all, see, that's the difference between me and you. I wouldn't let my one-year-old in a room by himself. Oh, yeah, that's right. He'd be in a dog cage.

He's not a dog one, a kid cage. A kid cage. Where do they sell these kid cages? Toys R Us are, I don't know. It's a thing. No, it's a thing made for kids. I'm not, I'm not, I was going to say a really good joke, but I can't. But, like,

Don't you hate that? Sucks. So he'd walk in the room. First of all, I'm not you. I'm a good parent. So I wouldn't just leave my one-year-old unattended. But if he's screaming,

first of all, what are he screaming for? Like, is he in pain? Or is he just like, I want an attention screen? No, he heard something. Oh, my God. How do you go about,

oh my God, a one-year-old? He can't talk to you. He's clearly hurting. It's, ah! How do you even attempt to figure out what's wrong with him? What happened? And he goes like this.

Here, I'll give you. You're a realistic run down. How'd that go? Hey, one second, bud, one second, bud. Hey, Cam, Cam, come get this. Cam, you got 10 seconds to get him. You got 10 seconds to get them or I'm leaving at the fire station, dog.

Your result of my kid being hurt. I give you the option. What do I have a SpaceX rocket? I have 10 seconds to get to you. Or you're taking my kid to the. Fire marshal? Yeah, maybe it's not my time. It's not your time, Bob.

And I appreciate it. And I respect that just, that manliness, you're going to step up to the plate. Yeah. It's a big plate to step up to me. You said you're going to put my naked kid on the ground and say, shit, sit, good boy. You're going to get a cage for him.

Not a cage, a play pin. A big club. What you want. You know that bitch is made out of metal. No. It looks like a fence. Hard plastic. Real hard plastic.

You can't figure out the locks too. The same thing. There's locks on it. The same thing you'll have on your stairs. Just imagine if that was rounded. If that was rounded and it locked. And there was a ceiling. Not a ceiling.

I could get in there if I wanted to, but I won't want one to. You, I swear to got him doing that. Your kid is not going to be your, especially your kid, he's not having free reign in my house. Why? Too many collectibles. All you have to do is, he can open doors. He can open doors. He's tall.

He's tall and strong. He's tall and strong. Okay. All you have to do is really. Perfect scenario for your house is go upstairs into your media room and shut those doors. You're not leaving him upstairs by himself. Of course not, you idiot. Your baby's sitting him.

I don't want to be up there, so he's not going up there. First of all, I, oh, oh, that's your biggest realization. Oh, you don't want to be up there so he's not. Oh, oh, no, no, no, oh, I'm going to break this down from. I'm the adult. Oh, I'm a coward. At the end of that, I'm a, I'm a cater to you. I love you.

I love him. You know I love that kid. Whenever I'm around him, I'm always holding them. I love him. End of the day, I'm the adult. You do what I say. A one-year-old brain. Oh, it's going to be tough to learn, but you're going to learn it. So I'm just going to tell him, I'm going to be like, hey, bro, you want to go upstairs? We can go up there for a little bit. He's going to go like, listen. We're going to go upstairs for a little bit. I'm not watching that Danny Bullshit. You'll be watching. I can't. First of all, Danny go, he does not look trustworthy. I watched that one time. Has anybody looked into Danny or his go?

What is he going for? I don't, y'all seen him? At least give him a clean shave. Nobody should have a 5 o'clock shadow. On a net one. Yeah, it shouldn't happen. It's like psychedelic almost. Like people that take...

Sitting there playing drums with gorillas and you're fighting a pink panther in the middle of a jungle. Yeah, the same people that take acid tabs are like they have the same brains as Malachi. Like it's for babies and pop. is what Danny goes for. I wouldn't be surprised, and I hate this comedy podcast. I would hate, never mind.

Oh, it's so good. Danny Go, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a pizza delivered to him. I wouldn't be surprised. He does not look trustworthy. And we can decide if he keeps it or not, probably not. Based on the direction, I'm getting here. Oh, I just think it's funny. I had a great 9-11 joke earlier in the podcast.

You can keep this in, but that part you can't. It was such a good joke, too. It was really funny. I think we're ready. Yeah, it was heavy hitter too. I think we're ready to go. Let's review fucking Spider-Man on Patreon. Oh, appreciate you coming back.

We absolutely love you. Episode 229. Like we said, if you want the full breakdown in the review and the rating and the rankings of Spider-Man brand-new day. And SummerSlam. And SummerSlam. Head to our Patreon right now for this week's exclusive. Coming out Wednesday.

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Ooh, this is rough. You tell me, A-A-N. Careful. A-A-N. Our ants. Animals are nasty. You keep wanting to say that word, and I was just going, American Airlines, never.

American Airlines never. Yeah. Now, I would promote, if they pay enough, I will promote it. I will say that, but just know I don't mean it. This is me. I will, everything that I've sponsored and vouched for so far, I believe in it. I'm telling you now, I will take the sponsorship from American Airlines, but I don't believe in it. That's crazy.

You heard of here first. I will take it, though. I'll be up there. Your bags will get lost too. I'll be having that mother. Your flight's at 1230 and you're taking off at 4. Best believe we got you with that free delay. They go, sun's out, delay.

It's Wednesday, delayed. Welcome to America delay airlines. Yeah, American Airlines sucks. All right, that's the secret code AAN. You know what it stands for. Confuse everybody else. We absolutely love y'all. You took the condom off.

Remember I circumcised my life. You deskinned him. What? What? Yep. Yep. You can drop us off at American Airlines departures. morning yes sir all right goodbye