You Should Know Podcast - THE EXTREME BEST FRIEND TEST! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast TOUR TICKETS: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com YSK UNPLUGGED: https://www.youtube.com/@YSK.UNPLUGGED FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home 00:00 WE ARE DONE WITH BASKETBALL 1:41 PEYTON'S WEARING KID CLOTHES 4:49 DREAM-CON RECAP 6:54 IGNORED ON LIVE STREAM 14:30 CRAZY BRUNCH CONVERSATION 19:30 FACTOR 20:51 SLAP A** FRIDAYS 25:18 AMERICA IS 400 YEARS OLD 27:34 EXPOSED IN A WINDOW 33:17 CASH APP 35:03 CAMJULZ 37:11 APHRODISIAC PARTY 40:54 APHRODISIAC QUIZ! 44:23 SHOPIFY 45:43 WHITE CHOCOLATE DEBATE 47:43 COOKIE KRISP IS THE BEST CEREAL 51:00 WATER-TOWERS DON’T MAKE SENSE 56:05 FABLETICS 57:38 LOSING $1,000,000 1:07:26 SECRETLY HAVING A KID 1:11:12 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: Factor - Head to https://factormeals.com/ysk50off and use code ysk50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. Cash App - Download Cash App Today:https://click.cash.app/ui6m/5tdivt3n #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Shopify - Start your free trial today at https://shopify.com/ysk Fabletics - Shop now at https://fabletics.com/YSK to get 70-80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP—limited-time offer, select YSK when prompted to unlock this deal.. FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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For more information on APY rates, MyPay, spot me, and travel perks, go to chime.com slash disclosures. Now on to the rest of the episode. The Hulu original series Furious is coming to Disney Plus. Starring Emmy Rossam. Furious follows FBI agent Alice Black

on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer. Both walk their own paths toward justice, and as their lives start to intertwine, the line between right and wrong begins to blur. Don't miss the three-episode premiere of the Hulu original series Furious on July 27th, only on Hulu on Disney Plus. Back to using old podcast episode 226. We got co-host cam back in the studio. Break the false down, nah, nah, nah, no, no, no. No, no, no. I can confirm that. you have done that one before. I can confirm it. I've done a, I've done a little Y2K. Yes. Break the war. Good morning. How are we feeling? He said,

break the wall. Dude, squeak. Hey, let's break the fourth wall. Break the fourth wall down down down down down. We just got off a plane from DreamCon. No, they're a hundred percent. Me and Cam are injured. Oh, my body's in agony. My body's in agony. We have in complete. My whole left side of my body. It's not working at all. I'm not going to lie, J-Dubb hurts people on the court. Yeah. And it's a strange thing.

Can I say J-Dub is a sexy guy? You know, we're not doing that yet. I'm just going to say, we came back from DreamCon. We're in the DreamCon basketball charity game. We will talk about that. And normally on the Patreon exclusive that we put out every Wednesday, we talk about it more. But this Patreon that's coming out this Wednesday is finally we're putting out the episode

we did with Netflix comedian Nate Jackson. Yeah, we are. We filmed that and ignite in the cut. It's so funny. Like, oh my God. We're not comedians, but like we make jokes. He's actual comedians. But like us bouncing off of each other, it was so inappropriate.

So funny. High levels of inappropriateness. If you want to see that and you're not in the Kuala Club, you know where to go to that second link clicking. Can I tell, okay, you haven't, this is the first time we've like, as soon as I walked in here, we started recording. So you haven't seen my outfit yet. Yes.

I know. I kind of like it. I like the shirt. Do you like this? Peyton, what? There's my new cropped up. Holy, holy cropped. Stand up again.

That is a dip. This is arms down. You're an old running back for the Cowboys. That's like practice jersey. That's a little Zeke vibe. I like how it's like a trail straight. It's so much hair. Mind you so much.

I've never met a man. I've never met a man. Crazy stance. Wait, you got something? You got a hit? What happened? You did. Get a little bit of that. There was so, like, little in the top of your pants. Like, if this is your...

You said, get a little of that, your pants went... It was like four inch gap. He said, get a little that. So little. That's... You know, during DreamCon, lost some... You've lost some... Dude, RDC World told me my... got smaller.

Dude, RDC World told me that my butt got smaller. world told me that my butt got little. Meanwhile, I'm still rocking. I'm dragging a wagging. Shake that K-L-A. Shake that. I'm sweaty, fat, and I'm in pain. Anyway, dude, yeah. No, your shirt sucks. No, I take it back. No, it is a super crop tea. And Sarah, like, she's back there and she's back there and she came to the studio today. She did. Hello, Sarah. And as we were walking out, she goes, babe, I'm not comfortable watching you like that. And I hurt my feelings as a man. But I told her, I was like, there's going to be women out there that are going to swoon over seeing my navel. A lot of swooning women.

And can I just say, you brought up your navel, right? Yeah. Genuinely, and I mean this as your lover, I've never met another man that has equal hair on his navel that he does on the tough. Yeah. I've never seen that. I'm rocking bush right now. Oh, God.

I'm rocking, dude, sometimes I like to just get a good bush going. You're asshole's hair, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, man. I'm just a hairy guy. I know, it looks like if I'm naked, if I'm naked, it looks like I'm wearing pants, so. It's like You see me

It's like you have ants all over your body Because like it's really weird Like here I'm so sorry This is body hair episode But like right here So cropped That is so cropped But look right here

Yeah There's no hair up here There's not I mean it's a hard end It starts right here And it just like it takes over everything else It's bad bro Like I'm like a

I'm like a C-A man. Oh, no, very much. I would have survived in the BCs, man. Oh, you'd have thrived. You'd have been the leader. You'd have been the leader of the... Careful. I'd have been the leader of the monkey tribe. That's not the monkeys. I didn't say, I said you would have been a leader. I didn't go, you would have been the leader of the... No, I said you would have been the leader of the... Fire! You see the resemblance there, don't you? Now I understand. I understand the whole evolution thing.

Don't buy it. Do we get a little bit of dream? Con Recap since we're not going to have one on the Patreon? I think it's only right. Let's do the highlights. Okay, so we played in the charity basketball game. My team won, team Mark. I'm undefeated in DreamCon. I had one point.

I had one point. I told everybody I was going to have zero. I had one point overachiever. Always have been. I've never been, even in my highest of high as a basketball, I've never been in there to score. That's never been my thing. I don't look to score.

I don't care to score. I don't want to score. I'm in there to make sure things go right. And that's what I did. I made sure to get that W. And that's why we get picked up four years in a row. And neither one of us have ever needed to be the star. No.

I don't need to be the MVP. I'm playing my role. No, but so I was sitting on the bench and Mark Phillips came up to me, bro. And Ippy. And they came up, and Ippie's a part of RDC. And they were like, hey, man, P, how are you feeling, man? He was so glad that you can come back to the game. And I said, yeah, bro, I'm feeling good.

And he goes, yeah, dude, last year it was a little rough for you, wasn't it? You go, hey, man, I'm never just really out here to score 30. do my best. I go, what, what do you mean? He was like, he was a little harder for you to get up and down the court. I was like, oh, yeah, I was like, I was like, I was, no, he didn't. I was like, yeah, I mean, yeah, I put on some pounds last year. And he goes, no, you were chunky.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to laugh. I'm not trying to laugh. I'm not trying to laugh. I'm not agreeing. I'm not agreeing. And then I was like, yeah, man, I was drinking a lot. And he goes, yeah, man, so glad that you're staying healthy, bro. You needed it.

You needed it. You needed it? The nicest way to call you a fat alcoholic. That means to say like you, like we were, they were, that's crazy. No, that's it. The fact that they both have your literal cell phone number, and apparently for a year.

Yeah, you were, you were, oh, you need to be helping. I'm so glad you're here with us. I know Mark Phillips since I was like six years old. And the fact that he said that to me on the bench during a national broadcast. I went in there and I was there like, I was like sucking in my stomach walking around.

Oh, fuck. What are we doing? And that's not where the DreamCon embarrassment ends. You don't know this because we were on different teams. I'm so excited to hear this. Yeah. So we were on different teams. So two years ago, we were on different teams.

Yeah. But it was a big conjoined locker room. It was a big conjoined locker room. It was like everybody was kind of vibing, right? Now, then the next year we're on the same team. And now we're here, different teams, different locker rooms. Dude. I didn't see any of his pregame semantics, any of the, I didn't see anything.

I was so embarrassed during the DreamCon basketball game. Golly, dude. You got me just. I never want to be on anybody's live stream ever again. So, I don't know if you know, but I was on the team with Ben to Don. Yeah, you're. One of the funniest guys on the internet, he's a huge streamer right now. I'm a fan of him, right?

And he's liked a couple of our clips on Instagram. He's liked a couple of our clips on Instagram. And I know he did. So I know you know me. I know you know me. Bro. Yeah. man

and so I'm like I don't do well when I'm away from Cam but I know Cam would want me to really flourish in these kind of environment there we go try to talk to people

there we go so it's hard to just talk to these people because they're on stream like Ben was on stream the whole time probably 20,000 souls yeah you go hey hey it's up Ben he goes like fuck out of

so Well, no, Ben was a really nice guy. He was, right? Everybody was really nice. So it was like, who else was? Tileo. So Tileo and Ben were on my team, and they were on a stream at the same time. Tileo called you sexy.

Let's just put that out there. He did call me hot, and then at the time, I didn't know how, because I was like, I'll kiss you in the mouth right now. I didn't know if I should take it further or reel back. See, I don't know how to perform if you're not around. It's okay. It's okay. We're working. So as I was alone in that locker room with these two live streaming men that I'm a fan of.

Yes. I was thinking of you. And I was like, what would Cam want me to do? He would want me to fix my posture. There we go. Big step one. I mean, you're always like this. Like, what's up, Ben? Hey, man, getting ready. You have a great ball game tonight, Ben. Great game tonight, Ben. Oh, what'd you say? Yeah, no problem, man. Let's do it. Let's fuck up, man. It would be like, I want you to fix your posture and I want you to talk to people. Yes, sir. So, that was what I was going to do. do and then Duke Dennis walks in. Oh God. Third stream is going. So I got Duke, Ben

to Don, and Ty Lill all streaming and they're all sitting by me. So I can't avoid these cameras. But I'm like, okay, I got to talk. Cam would want me to talk. I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid what leaves your mouth. They start making jokes right. They're bantering. Oh my God. I can see you trying to like fake laugh. You're like, ha ha ha ha. That's what happened in the fact. Y'all can pull up these streams right now. Cam, I counted in my head. I counted it. You can pull up these streams right now.

I counted how many times I tried to insert myself in a joke. Oh, no. Oh, Bob. It was 13. I got ignored 13 times in a row. You're going to say like six. Camp, 13. Cam, there was a point in time.

I was like, am I muted? Am I alive? You go, hey, dude. You just scream, do you see me? So they were making jokes. I'm sitting right next to Ben and Ben's funny as hell. So he was making jokes. And so somebody would come in the locker room and he would make fun of their shoes.

I'd be like, bro, those shoes are fucking insane. No one would say anything. And I thought, okay, miss that one. Someone else would come. There was like this kid that looked like four years old, but apparently he's 17, walked into the thing. And they're like, and Ben said, man, who's this baby grown man? And I said, yeah, he's so small.

They didn't even look at me Bro, your luck Your luck Say that was like the 13th one And you tried to switch it up And that same little guy walks in And you go, you like turn rude Yeah, like who's this short?

And they all turn and they go, bro, what's your deal? I'm like that That would have felt better honestly And then We came in at halftime And I was like, let me try again I'm already seven in of getting ignored They're coming in

And they're starting to talk about basketball But they're funny So they're making like jokes about But like they're mixing in serious with jokes. I'm like, I'm trying to find my lane. Wow, it's impressive. Yeah. I was playing hopscotch with the stream or double dutch.

I was double dutch in the stream. I was like, all right, it's my time to jump into this joke. Here we go. So they're talking about strategy. And I know basketball. And I thought I was funny. Easy in. So I said they were talking about some defensive scheme.

And I was like, yeah, don't worry about Cam, though. His hips hurt. And they're there. Chat, chat, chat. Chat, chat, what are we doing? Chat, chat, chat. What are we doing, chat? Chat, chat.

I mean, I appreciate the 50 gifted. They were just calling out subs while I was trying to get myself in there, bro. It got so bad. I'm going to end this here because you can pull this. I'm not lying. You can pull this up. It got so bad. Ben's security guard behind the camera went like this to me.

I'm not doing it. Okay. I'm way too hot already. I'm way too hot. This is the hot as the studio's ever been. I'm way too hot 10 minutes in. Oh, Payton. First off, if y'all don't understand, security guards don't.

They don't speak. They don't speak. It's like they hire mutes. The meanest people. Rollic mutes for a security guard to look at another creator that's in the same event as his creator and go, hey, bro, you're all right, man. Hey, next time. That is absolutely insane. And I get Ben could have seen a couple clips and not known me and like doesn't know how to bounce off me.

I've known Duke for years. Mark for my whole life. The fact that no one saved me from drowning waters. Oh my God. dude. Yeah, no, it was bad. It was really bad. Oh my God. Dude, I would, I would physically, real life pay money to go back and watch that. Like fly on the wall. You can go to the, it's on a lot. There's three ways to watch it. There's three live shows, brother. Ben to Don, Duke, Tyloo. It's all in there. It's all in there. Can someone please clip those?

No, there's going to be a compilation on TikTok right now of all the missed jokes from Payton Hardin. It's, it's, it's, it's, don't worry about Kim's hips hurt. Chat. Chat, chat. Chat. Where are we at? No, they go like this too. They go chat, chat. What are we at? No, he does what Ben did, but his phone was like. He was looking at his lock screen, which was him. As it should be king. Dude, no. I said, oh, is that the OVO?

Hey, I stuffed my chains. Awesome, Ben. Your chains are awesome. You go, I'm gonna go out to the court. You just dipped. At one point I was in the locker like, dude. Oh, man. Oh, my God. I feel so bad, but I love you for that.

Yeah. That's a drink. We'll talk. We have more Houston. You have a Houston store. Oh my God. No, no, I have to tell to at least two moments from Houston. What happened? I'll make them quick. Was I there? The breakfast? The breakfast. The breakfast conversation. You got to remind me what happened. We go to breakfast. This is the day of the game. We're like, okay, we need to just chill till the game. Let's go hit a little brunch spot. We go first off, 20 minute wait. Okay, no problem. During this 20 minute wait, we walk around the little table and we're just sitting at like a couch. We're literally just sitting, talking, do them in with each other. And this woman probably, you remember what I'm talking about, right?

I'm still lost. I don't know who we're talking about. The woman at breakfast with the craziest conversation. Oh, yes, the one that asked me that question. Oh, my God. So this woman, she's probably what? 50s. Yeah.

But she was also, you know. Yeah. Anyway, she's in her 50s and she's sitting there, right? And me and Pee, we're just viving. And a couple fans come up asked for a picture. So, of course, let's do it. We take it. We sit back down.

So now this woman feels every right. Oh, excuse me, sir. Excuse me, two things. Who are you and what's going on in the city? What's going on in the city? Why there's so many blacks running around in animation costumes? Yeah, that type of woman, if you pick up what we're putting down. So we explained to it, right?

We go, oh, well, first off, the city is just flooded because there's this thing called DreamCon. It's this huge event. It's sick. It's awesome, right? She goes, okay, cool, cool. A lot of black people. Now, what do y'all do?

We go, oh, we have a podcast. Oh, is it about like sports or what is it? Oh, no, I mean, we're in it. We're just a bunch of idiots. Yeah, we just, you know, riff with each other, debate, talk around and tell stories. Very lighthearted. I was like, I was like, yeah, we just like to get people's mind off things. Just really try to bring the lighthearted to the world.

Hour, hour and a half a week to just laugh. She goes, oh, oh, that's incredible. What's your deepest, darkest fear? And I'm not, I am not kidding. Not knowing the slight. No exaggeration. Literally off of, that was the whole conversation. This woman's third question, to strangers.

What's going on in the city? Who are you? What's your deepest, darkest fear? You would never have heard a harder swallow for me in my life. Payton was literally in the middle of a drink, he said, what? And I said, what was that? She goes, yeah, your deepest, darkest fear. What keeps you up at night?

And I was like, we literally looked at each other probably, mind you, we're 10 feet away from this woman. We did not give her the time of day until we understood, like, is this actually happening? We literally were like, and Cam, I hate to say in those moments, I completely, I bail out. I know it's fully on you now. You should know that I'm out at that situation. So then I give a somewhat wholesome. I wanted to kind of like pull her leg, but I was like, I'll go wholesome. I'm like, man, I don't know, just stay to the world for my kids, maybe in 20, 25 years.

Just, you know, fear of the unknown. She goes, oh, man, wow. Isn't that beautiful? Now, what can you do to get them out of? that dark time. And I said, who are, like, what the f***? What's happening right now? I'm over ex-Bedicts right now.

I'm waiting to get a table for brunch. What are you doing? And then you could tell she's with, presumably her son. And her son's like this. No way, no way. No way. That was a business partner.

There's absolutely her son. No. Absolutely. That was a Latino man. She was a white woman. If you, if you were at brunch with your father, they'd say, oh, that can't be a son. I look like my dad.

He's what? We know them for, six minutes. We didn't study their structure. What the hell? You don't do that? What? You don't play that game with strangers? Are they family? You don't do that? I've never played. Are they f***ing or family ever in my life? It's a pretty quick radar for me. I go, oh, that's or oh, that's blood.

It's that quick. I don't go, well. Well, the people at the breakfast, I was family. And that's more than family. The deepest, darkest question is more than family. Yes. That's a business trip. They get to it. He was like 26. Yeah.

Yeah. No, he wasn't. No, he was older. He hadn't have been older. But yeah, you don't play that game? You're family? Yes, fucking family. Everywhere I go.

With like two adults, I'm like, oh, they're family. If you, not like everybody, because that's weird. What's wrong with you? Not with everybody, but like, people like, you know, in situations, you're like, who are they? Like, what do they? Is that, am I out of my son? Weird. It's like clearly, it's like clearly siblings.

Like, oh, they f*** her family. They look a lot of like, man. Almost twins. I see my fucking. Like, what? Oh, I'm like, expose myself some more. Sorry, I didn't want to cut you off. Go for it.

I don't want to go out. Just craziest question. No, it was the weirdest shit ever. Do you remember, it's been popping up on TikTok a lot. Do you remember slap ass Fridays? This episode is brought to you by Factor. Boom. All of a sudden, hunger strikes.

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ISK 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See website for more details. Now on to the rest of the episode. What the hell? Oh, dude, you, you don't have a history. Y'all don't have Slab Fridays at your school? This is in the public education system. Oh, this is going different than I thought it would go. You see. I thought you had no, no, no, no. Slapped Friday was basically, Sarah, did you all slap a Friday? No, no, we have morals in North Texas. No, no, no. I did too.

Slap Friday was this thing that happened like middle school, where on Fridays, you would slap somebody's ass. Right? You go up and slap somebody's ass. It wasn't until people are talking about it now on TikTok. I didn't know guys were slapping girls. My whole middle school career, I was hitting all the boys. I didn't know, I didn't know y'all were grabbing women. I didn't, so that was, that's a realization I've come to in the past 48 hours.

Okay, that's an incredible game. Would have loved to compete in that, but. No, no, it's creepy. It's creepy. Because I didn't know that Slap Friday was for the opposite sex. I was doing it to my boys. You said, Brandon! He said, yeah, Friday!

Yeah, I was on my TikTok and they were like, can we talk about how the people we grew up with? need to go to jail because of slap Fridays. And I was like, I'm going to jail? And they're like, isn't it crazy that we would just walk up to random chicks and slap their ass? And I go, I was like, oh, y'all are slapping girls. Like, I was tapping Marquises shit from the back for two years straight. No, I was like, Trayvon. Okay, yeah, you said, hey, yo, what up, Dee?

Oh, boy, happy Friday, Mom. He said, hell yeah, you hit that PR on them squats, boy. I don't know this, I'll leave it up to you. Starting about right now, you can say if any of this has to go. Yeah. I might incriminate myself. I have a take on the slap B' Friday. Oh, no.

Yeah, I'm going to go for it. I'm going to go for it. CJ, be ready. I'm glad y'all had like a sanctioned game. Like slap a Friday. There was about a two to two and a half month period where I was talking to this girl, I believe in the eighth grade every single day

at the end of fifth period I slap her Wait what You did a what tour We'd line up at the door Waiting for the bell to ring It would ring The kid of the front would open the door

And while we would split our separate ways Before we left the classroom Every day For about 75 days Consecutively And she had a dumper She had an absolute It's trailer

This is your girlfriend No, never dated man, never dated You never talked to it? I go, didn't know her name I'm just kidding I'm kidding This is a comedy podcast No, it did happen but I did know her name

No, okay, so Did she... No, we were talking, Matt, it was... No, no, no, no, no, hold it. Look at it was a little weird. Did she... know you're going to do it. Yeah.

Was she cool with it? Yeah. You asked her for permission. Just wasn't a lot of dialect. It wasn't a lot of discourse involved. But it wasn't like, oh, have a good day, sweetie, smack. It was kind of like... I'm trying to gauge if this is staying or not.

Did you... Okay, did she know what's happening? Yes. Did she allow it? Yes. The first time. First time, might have been a move. Might have been a move on my part.

Like, like, let's spice some things up. Like, oh, I'm cool with the good morning and an emoji. I was like, what's that 10 for? And then... How old were you? It's great. It's too old, man. Eighth grade, that's too, too old.

You're like 15. First off, I didn't get held back for, moron. If you're 15, if you get your permit in the eighth grade, you suck. You absolutely suck. If this guy has a permit in the eighth grade, you are a Fri-Nandrethall and you are- You are- You are menaced to society. Oh, dude, no, we didn't get a 17 in the eighth grade. Yeah, I remember you just talked about it.

And like a four-minute mile. Yeah. ruined your life. No, this is incredible. He had everything. He had money, cars, all of it. In the meantime, I mean, I had no friends playing Black Ops too. It was unbelievable. Do you know what's crazy? Tell me. I have a question. Okay. About like the 4th of July happened a couple weeks ago. Okay. Oh, it's a while ago. It was like probably over a month. I'm so bad. It was like three. It was like three weeks ago. Okay, but I was in the airport the other day and they were selling America 250 merch, right? Yeah. Yes, sir. And like this last

4th of July, everything was 250, America 250. Yeah. Pretty obvious. I don't get that though. I don't understand it because. Oh God. America's older than 250 years. Incorrect. No, no, no, because there was 400 years of slavery. All right. And so they're saying, right, that the declaration was signed in 17, 17, 17, 17, 17, 17. 1776 sure was now if I do my math correct that 50 that 1776 plus 250 be around 18 and we're in 2026 what in the f just came out of your mouth 1776 plus 250 would be around 18 something I don't know the math 1776 plus 250 sweetheart would be right now right now 1776 plus 250 is 2026, hence the 250 freedom merch.

2026 minus 250 is, wow. Yeah, welcome to earth. Wait, why was I having such a hard time with that? I don't know, you might have been diced. No, 1776. I was taking like the... What are you doing? 200 plus 70, hold on. 776 plus 200, right?

Is 976. Why does any of that matter? So I thought there'd be like 1958 or something like that. You just said 776 plus 200 is 976. Yeah. 776, you're missing a thousand years. You're missing a millennia. I dragged ya out after this third number.

What was that? What was that? You drove yao? That's what I heard. I drive yao. I drive yow. Okay, no, it makes sense now. Back to you real quick.

I'm not done with you. I'm not done with you. That's an incredible, incredibly bad moment for you. Yeah, that was embarrassing. But we solved it quick. See, I didn't debate you or anything. And that's growth. Honestly, that's growth.

But no, I'm not done with you because you quite literally were about a smidge away from being the reason that I leave the country and delete all of my social media. Me? You, Payton Harden. For what? We're in Houston for DreamCon. Right. The game ends. It's a late night.

We're both in pain and we're both drenched and sweat. What did we do? We go up to the room to shower, right? Yes, we did quickly. So I immediately butt naked, boom, butt naked. absolute crab, just butt naked sitting on the toilet. And I'm on the phone with my wife. And now it's a long conversation.

I haven't spoke to during some hours. Oh, I love you so much. I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning. Can't wait to hug the boys. All the good stuff, right? Now, I have finished using the pot. I mean, I've wiped and flushed and all. Now I started just kind of walking around.

But ass naked. Right? And I'm thinking nothing of talking to my wife. Oh, I love you too. Butt naked. I hit a little kneel at one point. And I stand up. Wait, what?

I was on my knees. You kneeled naked? I was butt-ass naked on both of my knees. If you kneel naked, you're trying to get something taken or given. That's the only thing you could do. I was in the room by myself, so that declines it. That declines it. Anyway, I'm on my knees.

I stand back up. Now, toward the very tail end of this conversation, I kind of start playing with it. Now, I don't know why. What? Not like a full-blown, like, not like a-old... You slapping Johnny? It was more like a pick. I was like picking at it.

What? I thought my nuts were real sweaty. Like that's a sweaty nuts. Show me, like, just... I was kind of like, just like... Like, put it on your pants, like on the end of your pants. Like, shaft was still stuck to stop. Okay, just show us what you're doing.

Like that. You're unpealing. Like a three-finger Monty. It's just going like a... So you're a spider web and you're getting off the thigh. There we go. Yes, Gwynn. Gwen Stacy and you were pulling them off.

I'm here. And now... I love that, dude. I love the sound it makes. Oh, yeah. It's like a little peel. It's like a sticky note. Oh, my God.

Oh, you have a sweaty scrotum and you pull off the shaft. like a nice, like a firmly pressed sticky note. Can I be honest, I don't know what my shaft is. I don't know what that is. Like when you just keep saying that, I don't know if that's the pubs or what. I don't know what the shaft is. Literally, it's the shaft.

This is the shaft. Yeah. My rod. Yeah. Oh, oh, I have a shaft. He has a rod. I have a revolver. He has a 12 gauge.

Ooh. Off. I get it. We're all blessed. Anyway, I'm sitting there and I start to pick. Strange. I'm just trying to get off the phone, get in the shower so I can go have a drink.

Yeah. Right? Now, I turn around in the middle of my hotel room. My windows. Oh, I did do that. Are wide open all the way to the side. And I never, ever do that in my hotel room. The morning of the game, he came in there, hey, bro, you got that undershirt?

Man, I don't know how you live like this. And open it up. First off, my room, don't do that. My room don't do it. I would never do that in your room. And if I did, you'd shut it down immediately. If I tried to close you, you'd go, oh, hell no. He goes, dude, I don't know, I mean, this is like great sleeping conditions,

but grow up, count Dracula. And he opens them. And I never, in the history of my 28 years of existence, I've never done that. So I'm not thinking they're open. I am butt naked, flaccid as a f***ing. Picking my sweaty, small crotch. And I turn around in the city of Houston is outside of my window.

There's 10,000 people out of that window. And when I tell you, when I tell you two things, my immediate reaction. Oh my God. And you wonder why my knee, I dropped to my knees. My immediate reaction, I literally dropped to my knees. Both of my knee at the same time. I pulled the Lisa Kennedy. I literally said, I went, oh.

I dropped down to my knee. I said there's, because there's another skyscraper hotel directly across from us. Oh. And I'm at a decent vantage point. I'm on the eighth floor. Eighth floor. see from street level and you can sure see from the penthouse. So I'm highly evisible.

And then after I army crawl to my windows, butt-a-nake, I'm literally going, this mother-fitting, but-ass naked, who didn't at all? And I get there, and I go, I have to make sure no one. I peek up on the window seal. There was three rooms that were fully lit that had human beings mobile, moving,

phones in hand, kickbacks and, kickbacks in these hotel rooms right across the street. So I'm just gonna say it now. If somehow that footage airs, I'm sorry, and this was a, it was a fantastic run. I would not, I would not spend the last five years of my life doing anything else, but it is over.

You go, I promise I'm a grower. Oh, no, I promise I'm a grower. You can ask my wife, you can ask, you ask my wife. I'm a grower. I assure you. Okay, first of all, I am sorry. It was unbelievable.

That is actually the funniest thing Unbelievable. That is so good. I fell to my knees as a six, seven man. I literally like this. That's a lot of knee dropping in that story. It hurts. The fact that you were just recreationally

on your knees at the beginning. I was talking to on the phone, butt-h-hackin like this. I was like, yeah. No way. It was breathing. Oh, yeah. And I said, you know I'm naked, right?

She said, what? I said, what? And then she lived word for it. She goes, oh, you have a cute butt. Yeah, dude, I love when Sarah says that. Hey, you, fun fact, is it crazy? I've sent some of the boots. Poodie pigs that you've sent me to my girlfriend?

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Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Now on to the rest of the episode. Is that weird? I mean, that's our level of love, but I just, I didn't know that it was happening. There's one of you. Sarah's seen my white stallion. Multiple angles. Laying down, standing up from the side.

Oh, that laying down one's mint. Yeah. No, that one's tear. Oh, my God, dude. Put that on a dating profile. What messes it up is you have like a mouse bit mojo over your face, so it's like kind of too scandalous. Oh.

Like, it's not funny. It's like, who is that little white style? Who's like, is that yes, Jules? Oh, oh, dude. My is hairless. My. I have a spotless monkey. Pristine.

You have a spotless little back porch. Oh, my God. No, you got to, you got to mow my head just. to get to mine. You gotta get some landscaping work. I've never seen anything darker than your crack. Like quite little.

I have never seen anything darker than your ass. Like the bridge to terapithia. It's magical, but you might die on the way. It's Chronicles and Arne. It's a wardrobe to either hell or a beautiful wonderland.

Yeah. Dude, you know what also bothers me about our friendship? What? I've never seen it. That is weird. I don't know how you haven't seen it. It's seen you multiple times.

You've seen mine a lot. I've seen it multiple times. You never just presented it to me. You just whip out John I've seen your, I've seen, I've seen, I've seen, I've seen, is that what scrote? Scroat, yeah. Are you like, I mean, I know you're 15th grade, but what are we doing? Did you skip health, maybe?

Did you skip a physical checkup? But the fact, I don't like your nuts. Why? They're weird, they're like really pink. No, they're not. They're really pink. They're like a little mouse nuts. Little rat nuts.

No, my nuts are good, Hugh, good Hugh. No, it's too much. It's too bright. It's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a dark. My nuts. Yeah, pink. Hey, guess what? Your balls look like asphalt, okay?

Your balls are darkish. Dude, I don't know why. I don't know why. Everything now is so dark. It's like a dozen below. It's after market. Everything on me is after market. You have a third party guy.

Yeah, it's been VC on my lower half. I don't know where that came from. There's... Okay, no, we have to segue. We have to segue. First, okay, wrap it up. Houston is great. His city's always...

Shut the DreamCon, baby. It's good. DreamCon's good. Bro, you know what I was thinking, though? Just going to the convention and whatnot and just seeing like just marvels of production and all those LED screens? First off, I mean... You have a thing for LED screens.

No, no, the back of an LED screen causes blood flow. I will say that. You spent more time behind the screen than in front of it because you were just admiring the wiring. It was like a little fly. He was addicted to the light.

But I say all that to say, I'm almost like in need for our new studio to be done. Oh, I'm super excited for. I'm wanted to be done. I'm excited too. So we're almost at the end of the run of waiting for a new studio. I think we finally are getting AC.

They should be putting it in pretty soon. But I'm throwing like a party. Okay. Yeah. Oh, you did say that. You mentioned it. Yeah, I'm going to throw a party for a new studio. And for you, I'm bringing a bunch of avrodisiacs.

What? What in the hell did you just say? Ephrodisiacs. Now, beg the fucking pardon out of me. I'm simply, I'm almost guaranteed you don't know what you just said. Aphrodisiacs. No, I know you can say it. You have no clue what that means.

Like relics, like old realms and relics of ancient Greek Rome times. Because I know that's what you like. Am I, my mistake? No, no, I love that and that is what I like, right? Now, just one more time to your camera to find Afrodisiac for me. And Aphrodisiac is like an old ancient, like an ancient thing, like a mummy, like tombs and mummies and knights and wizards, like that stuff, right? I did it for you, b-oh.

Oh, no, no, no. The thoughts there, the vocab's not. What's an aphrodisiac? Brother, an aphrodisiac is something that, like, induces, like, spheromones and hormones like get you ready to go. I'm talking about dildos. No, like, like certain foods and stuff that literally like hormonal balance gets you ready to like mate.

Like a honeypack? Yeah, honeypack. Aphrodisiac. You just said- No, honeypacks don't deserve that name. You just said you're throwing a party and for me, You bought Afrotisiacs. That is, that's what came out of your mouth. So forgive me that I almost choked on my drink.

You said, bro, we got the new studio. Honestly, I'm so excited. And to celebrate, I'm ready to, like, that's what you just said. And in no way, shape, or form, did I know that there was, like, prerequisite foods to sexy time? Oh, oh, oh, do you? Oh, you don't know anything about this. Now I'm kind of having a panic attack because so many times in, like, a formal setting. I've said Afrodisiac.

So many times over dinner or like trying to sound smart. Like meetings? Yes. Like I've tried to bond over the movie Troy so many time and I brought up Afrodisiacs. Can I read you the definition? You were teaching me so. I'm like, I'm not trolling at all.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm about to quiz you. I'm about to give you like list food. An aphrodisiac is any substance such as food, drink, or medication that arouses and increases sexual desire, pleasure, or performance. That's an aphrodisiac.

You just told me you were giving me a rhino pill for our new studio. Can we do an Afrodisiac quiz and you quiz me on what's an aphrodisiac or what's not? And I'm going to have a stroke if I say that one more time. I love that. I love that.

So just compile a list of like different fruits or foods or substances and some of them may not be aphrodisiac. Some of them may be Afrodisiac. I can tell you which ones are which. Perfect. Okay.

And the Afrodisiac quiz. All right, I've compiled the list of actual Afrodisiacs and then some non-Afrodeciacs. We're going to see if you can tell the difference. No, I am sweating. Are you looking at my shirt? Yeah, you look gross. Yeah, but you don't look good. I'm dripping sweat.

This is ridiculous. Okay. So the Afrodisiac quiz, does this make you get in the mood or does it not? I just learned what an Afrodeciac is. Yeah, that's unbelievable. Read a book. You can't tell me that's not like ancient Greece, like relics. It's antiquity.

Like memorabilia from the Roman Empire. Antiquity. It's close, though. Antiquity, Afro-Di-B, first off, Afro-Di-Jac sounds-Sorten the word. Shorten the word. Afro-Di-Jac sounds way more like Roman time than antiquity. No, I mean, I think it stems from back then.

And giggedy. And giggedy. Giggity. Whoever takes the most time on all P.M. wins. God, I love this. Here we go. Afro-Di-Jat quiz. First one up, oysters.

Yes. Oysters are an Afro-D-C-A. Yes, because you get that. You get that. in that thing. Harry Jousey taught me. He almost got me home that night, boy. Oh my God. Who's Mary and Harry? He ain't that good. He said, you just take it.

He just got all his. Yeah, and he got in there, and I cut my lip after. I was like, oh, I'm... Okay, that's good. Yeah. Next one. Passion fruit. Passionate from miles away. Passive with the things calm says. Passing up on gams old way. I can't gamin.

No. Gamlin Camel All right What is it Passion fruit That sounds passionate Yeah

Sounds passionate Not an aphrodisiacs Okay All right Now I'm learning Why not I need a why I go

Just just just not But that was a trick one Despite the name The name I was okay Now I'm learning I'm learning Here we go

Coffee Coffee Coffee No I think coffee Cause ZD If you do too much Cache Or caffeine

Too much caffeine Cause ED Is that fact No But I think But for you, for your person's... Because your blood's going everywhere else. And you can't, you know what I mean?

Oh my God, you should start a research. Come on now. Also, that is an aphrodisi. Coffee is an aphrodisi. I go, now I know why you're touching me every morning. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, wait. Wow.

Wait, I was joking. That actually... No, no, no, you're a freak show in the morning. I am a little nasty. We show up for early recordings. You go, hey, what's up, man? You sleep good? Yeah.

Yeah, when I hug you and you feel something stabbing your belly button. Yeah. That's that's that coffee. It's stabbing the gun and a long finger on the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, next one. Cinnamon. Like, raw cinnamon?

Raw cinnamon. I'm not going to lie. You ever done the cinnamon challenge? Kind of like being choked. I kind of like that feeling being choked. So, yeah. Yeah, why not? It is.

It is in everything. Your, like, rationale to get to your answer is incredible. You said, Simitman challenge, choking. I like being choked. Yes. Okay, here we go. White chocolate.

You? Talk to me. You know. No. It's not. It's not at all. Oh, my gosh. Just gave me some white chocolate,

chocolate covered strawberries. Oh. Almost kicked her out of the car. Wait, why? Nastyest thing ever. They had sprinkles on it. No. No.

Okay. Time the hell out on the quiz. White chocolate is not nasty. White chocolate's the worst chocolate. This episode is brought to you by Shiret. Shopify is where you go to start your business. Let me tell you, if you've been sitting on a business idea, think about it.

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First off, phones down. I'm ready to, I'm ready for war. Why? Okay, I know that means something to you because they called you that growing up all your black friends. You felt they included? Yeah, they called me white chalking

something else. Can't say that one. How'd that feel? One of your black friends said that. I mean, empowering. Like, honestly, it's like I got plus four cool. Like, they said it, and I was like, golly, I'm good.

You called your mom. You're like, guess what Tyrese called me today? I go, dude, mom, it's been a great day. She's like, why? I was like, oh, I failed my quiz, but Darian said this. So white chocolate. White chocolate is...

White chocolate's a substitute. It's a last option. No, no. You. White chocolate is... Name a candy bar. We're going to stick to candy bars real quick. I know, you don't like your sweets.

Yeah, you snatched bitch. But listen. Listen, white chocolate on any candy bar that is normally milk, the white chocolate version is superior. Now, this is not kidding, political or racial. I'm simply talking about sweets. Cam, I get a white chocolate snickers crack. White chocolate rhesies, crack.

White chocolate, uh, uh, uh, uh, why? Because it's sweeter? Cookies and cream, Hershey's bar? Cookies and creams. I lost a job over that. I got fired for that candy bar. Cugies and cream isn't white chocolate. It's white chocolate.

chocolate with cookie crumbs in it. Are you belligerent? Cookies! It's a chocolate bar. Cougies and cream is not white chocolate. Okay. White chocolate is his own thing. Cookies and cream is literally cookies and cream.

Oh, okay, okay. So a Hershey's cookies and cream, right? Hershey's is white. Are we talking about the bar? Are we talking about the bar? Yeah, the bar. So a chocolate company that makes chocolate bars and the whole just white and the only black stuff is

little crumbs of the cookie, the little black stuff is crumbs of cookie. Yes. You're meaning to tell me that it's not white chocolate. I'm not talking about that. Cookies and cream is for the street cred dumb. It's white chocolate with crumbs of cookies. So take it to ice cream. Cookies and cream ice cream is vanilla and cookie crisp.

First off, no the fuck it's not. And Jesus Christ, if you were eating cookie crisp, that explains it. That's one of the worst. What? Cookie Crisp is one of the worst cereals ever. Hey, next time, wake up the next morning. Just get cotton candy, why don't you? What?

Cookie Krisp is... You like cotton candy? Cotton candy's great. I'm saying cookie Krisp has zero nutritional value. It was pure... Serial has nutritional value. I hate honey bunches of oats. Those don't have nutritional value.

Honey bunches of oats have way more fiber and they have actual natural ingredients as opposed to mini chocolate chip cookies. Cam. All right. Okay, put it in the kid cereal type of formation here. Right. Take it to like, Cookie Chris is the same thing as Fruit Loops.

What's the Lucky Charms? Yeah, Fruit Loops, all that. Cookie Cris is an elite cereal. And it's a top five cereal of all time, Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp took over a generation. You, yeah, a generation of meat and a generation of fatty. You, you. Cookie Crisp is, that is, I would argue that is one of like, objectively.

We pull 100 humans. Maybe three people say cookie criss in their top five. How old are they? All across the spectrum. No, no. All across the spectrum. No, no. All across the spectrum.

No, no. They don't have that anymore. Exactly. I'm talking about in the peak. No, no. You're proving my point better. No, it's not. No, it's not.

That's proving my point better. You're saying only people that are roughly our age. With cookie crisp. No. Cookie Chris is equivalent to Frank Ocean. Oh, what? Because, first off, what? Because kids nowadays won't appreciate the,

greatness of Frank Ocean. Frank Ocean had a hell of a run. He changed music. He changed everything. He took a generation by storm. But now it disappeared. So kids that are coming up now listening to music, 13 year olds, 14 year olds now, they're not going to appreciate Frank Ocean. They're not going to appreciate Cookie Chris. Cookie Chris came in at a time where cereal needed us most. Not only did they change the cereal game, they changed the milk industry because they were the first cereal that could change the milk. First off, what is that? mean we mean it changed the milk i just said it yeah you said it with no comp what does that mean it changed the milk because they were the first cereal that it turned your milk brown and you drink it

after do you want to be disproven at the speed of light it misdisprove me cocoa puffs cocoa puffs i never had i never had a cocoa puff so i can't oh dude i never had that i I didn't actually eat chocolate cereal except for cookie crisp. Ever being completely honest. The fact your parents let you eat cereal, they did not have your best intentions at heart. What the f***? My parents let me eat cereal?

What am I supposed to eat as a kid? Belgium waffles? Nothing wrong with a good waffle from the other side of the world. And your lactose, you... As I figured it out. Our lactose! Was chronic acne and stomach pain. You want to breathe...

You're like, oh God, I don't know. what it is, but the cereal's good. Oh, I just had a thought. What? I had it driving, because we're on tour right now. Yes. We drive to venues. When we're out and about in other states, you know what I never see?

What? Water towers. I've never been to another state and seen a water tower. I've never been to a state outside of Texas and seen a water tower. Ever. I'll give you a million dollars. I'll give you a million dollars cash. To go to California.

Go to California right now. I don't have a million dollars. Oh, don't backtrack now, you prick. Go to Los Angeles, California right now. Drive. Go do it. Right now. Give them a 405.

Okay, see you. Tell me if you see a water tower. You've never seen one. Hey, guess what? Albert Einstein. You don't see them in the downtown metropolis. You f***. Can I be honest?

Hey, go to 10 million population city where it's a concreliven. Big jungle and the skyscrapers and in six sports arenas, a couple massive bridges, and tell me if you see it old rusty water towers. Okay, that kind of proves my point. What's the point of water towers? What's the point? I don't understand it.

Cause if you go to a downtown area in a city, you won't see a single water tower. What, the city doesn't get water now? They have so much superior systems. They don't need a tower. I live in a... For their townsmen. There's over 1.2 million people

that live in my city. It's not a downtown area. It's a suburban area. Over 1.2. We have multiple water towers. Yes, because we are also... Downtown. City.

I haven't seen one. Yeah, there's not. Explain that to me. I think... First off, first off, don't have a degree in this. So let's start there. In irrigation.

Yeah, an irrigation. I think that when you are more suppressed than away from the city, you use a tower for your functionality. I think it's probably, for the city. I think it's all branding and labeling. Because you... I'm serious. When is one time you've ever seen a water tower get filled?

No, no, I... Okay. Ain't shit in there, b... No, I'm actually starting to... I'm gonna kind of level with you. You can agree with me. I've never fully understood a water tower. They don't make sense. I've never understood it. Think about how the size of all.

When I do my sink to brush my teeth, it's not coming from that. Oh, think about the size of a water tower. This filling up, what, four houses? Probably a little more than that. No, because... Shower? No, no, okay. Wash their dishes?

But I have always said that too. People got pools. Like you just said, hundreds of thousands of human beings in these towers. Yeah, it's a marvelous big, little, nice little tower. Yeah.

That's not even clear in a block of houses. Water towers are not real. Oh, my God. It's a conspiracy. Oh, my God. It's monitoring us. Oh, my God. What's inside of it?

Cameras? Has to be. Or aliens? Well, there's like three guys with, like, bad mustaches that clock in. They just go every day. Name one time you ever seen a water tower get filled. I've, okay, the filling it has to be underground.

What? In your mind, how did you think they were getting filled? A fire truck was pulling up going, like a big cup? Via helicopter. I was thinking. It's a tall building. I kind of put that in with the rooftop pools.

Okay. So, for my, just for my standards. What's the point of it? being a tower. So for my sanity. Yeah. A concrete. A concrete. Water towers aren't concrete. They're heavy plastics. Heavy plastics. Heavy plastics. Plastics. They're not metal. No one said metal. And I've seen metal before. What you said? I've never seen a plastic.

It was this Lego land? No, like heavy plastics. Like work plastic. Who the f***? Are you fix it, Felix? A water tower is concrete. No, it's not. Majority you want to... With the paint on it that says your city on it? Oh, God Almighty. I climbed water towers in high school. Oh, dude. Shut your stranger things.

That was the kissing spot. And the UT football field. You were getting a-off on the top of a water tower. Not an ass-a-mouthed. Did you really? What? You climbed to water tower? No, I got too scared.

I watched from below. You were sitting there. You said, just imagine I'm up there with you. I'm sorry. I'm really kind of afraid of heights. I go, get her! Hey, she doesn't like that! She doesn't like that!

There you go. No, water towers are... They have to be. There's no point of a water tower. And there's not... This is like, there's... First off, there's not just water sitting in there. Getting pumped out to residential.

And it's disgusting, because the sun's going to hit it in the plastics. It's going to melt into the water. Shut the... Sarah, can you please say it with me? Ready, three, two, one. Shut the... Up about the plastic. She did not join my team.

She did not join my team. That's a loyal woman. That's a key. Except for earlier. That's a kid. This episode is brought to you by a personal favorite and a favorite here over at YSK, the goat, the greatest of all time, the best brand I've ever put on my body. Fabletics.

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You should know podcast. You remember last week I brought it the whole Chris Brown thing? Yeah, please don't. No, no, we're not talking about back shots on stage anymore. But I am, another just a current event kind of flowing around in the air, right? What's happening? Malik Beasley, right?

Oh, yeah, he's dumb. Dumb guy. Is that not absolutely insane? Yeah, that sucks. Okay, for our non-basket, non-sports people, Malik Beasley was an NBA player who was actively betting on himself in games. He plays in the NBA. He's putting parleyes on his own numbers, and he got indicted for, they finally caught onto it. But then it's beautiful when they reverse engineer it and you see the shit back then.

So basically he would bet like, I'm going to get less than three rebounds. I'm going to get more than four points or something like that, just for simple terms. And you would see games where like he had to get under three. three rebounds. He was sprinting away from the ball. He was, it was like the ball was a, it was dynamite. Yeah, it was like it was a nuke. And I don't understand, okay, I understand addiction is a real thing, and I think that's what it boils down to is gambling addiction. But like, if you have, like, let's take it out of him. Let's take it off of Malik Beasley. If you have $500 million, right? Oh, Malik never hit that. But like, you're saying, like, the league never hit that.

But like, like, why are you betting on like $1,000 beds, $100,000 bets? Like, you know what I mean? I mean, money's money. Like, that's what people, they're probably, they're probably, They're, it's probably, they just want more. If you have $500 million, losing a million dollars is just pennies to you. Like losing that, it's like us losing $10. Let's pipe down a bit.

That's, I'm, I, no. Are you nuts? Paying a million dollars is a million dollars. I don't care if you have $500 of it. A million, a million, losing a million dollars, the f***es a million dollars. That's not, no, that's not. No, that's different.

If you lose a million dollars, I don't even have a million dollars to lose. I'd be in debt. Okay. If I lost a million dollars, I'm in the red. I literally have to sell my body. I have to go have s s on Harry Hines

if I lose a million dollars. If I lose a million dollars I'm a prostitute, I have to be. Oh, I'd be a good pin for you. I'd know how to sell you well. You go, who wants the old ride on the white style?

I mean, he gets nasty. And then I just show me, I'm like, I got some Afrodezia. Give me some of that cinnamon and coffee. Woof. But no, if you, you can lose a million dollars like this. Incorrect.

If you have, if you're a billionaire, Paying to a billionaire. Okay, then double the five. If you're a billionaire and you lose $10 million, that stings. No, it does not. That stings. If you lose $5 million, does it sting?

If we're back to $5.00, I mean, if a five, hey, bro, I get your premise. Like Patrick Mahomes right now, he has, like, he got a $500 million contract. He could literally take $2 million right now and set it on fire and not even worry about it. If you think Patrick Holmes is setting a blame, $2 million. You can. You literally can and it won't affect your daily life at all.

If you were to burn you, let's bring it back to you. What do you have like $2,000? Yeah, yeah! I go yeah I do! Let's take it to you. Okay. If you burn 200, if you have $200 right now, if you burn it, your life is not going to change at all. Take your pride and your morals away. Payton, if your life will not change at all. If you burn $200 right now. If I burn $200 right now, someone better be on the phone with me when I'm crossing over the bridge on my drive. Kim, you're insane. You're lying. You're lying for the camera. You're lying for the camera. Okay, your poll premise is a lot of money equals I can fuck off a lot of money. That's how money works. No, that's not how that's not. Oh my God. You're talking about ratios. I'm saying from a human standpoint, it doesn't matter if you have 500 million. Okay. No, no, no. I'm not talking about morals and morality. I'm not talking about that in human standpoint. I'm talking about strictly numbers. Kim, that's why. If you had 500 million, if you had 500 million, if you had 500 million, if you had 500 million, if you had 500 million, And you woke up, let's just play the game.

You have $500 million. Payton Hardin. Yes, I would spend $1 million in 24 hours. You're not patching my homes. That's fine. You'd probably do that on your first. And I would never think about it again. Such a good tongue roll.

If you had $500 million and you woke up and K.Rob calls you and goes. I would never answer Kroft's calls. If I had $500 million, Kirov would not have my phone number. I would put that out right now. Like, it literally my girlfriend and you and my parents is it. There's only people that have my phone number. If I have $500 million, I'm a $500 million, I'm a ghost to you.

Are you crazy? K-Rob? You really go, oh no. 500 million? I'm talking to somebody from Arkansas. Okay, you have 500 million dollars. I call you in the morning. It's still a tough answer. I call you and I go, hey bro, I don't know if you saw it last night,

you lost a million dollars. If you, Payton and Stephen Harden, look me in my eyes right now, after I tell you, you lost seven digits. Doing what, though? It doesn't. according to you. That's the money point. It doesn't matter. Oh, no. Oh, do we want?

That's where the human aspect comes in. Oh, but I thought we just said no human aspect. You got to let me speak or I'm going to punch you in the face. Oh my God. You got to speak. Because I'm saying this. If I didn't control it leaving, that's different. I can burn it. If you said Peyton, you got too drunk and you burned a million dollars last night. You'd be pissed. No, I would not. If I had 500 million, I wouldn't care. I'd be like, oh, I'd be upset because I could have given that to somebody. You are potting. I'm not pithing. Your thing is 500 to 1.

My thing is a million is a million. A million dollars. We're not talking about losing 10 grand, one grand. It's the same. 50 grand. If you lose a million dollars, that busting. You're the same guy that said you wouldn't take $20 million just so you could have coitus. Yeah, I love my wife.

I don't get my rocks off. I still need to take it from you. I need to. I need to feel it. If you lose, NBA players get pissed when they get fined $50,000. That's ego. That's pride because somebody else is forcing them to take it. That's what it is.

If they're, they spit, I know people. I've been in a room. I've been in a room with a billionaire. And I've seen him spend a million dollars. Yes. In like two hours. Yes. And he walked away from that table and had fun.

Yeah. And I said, I almost threw up. He doesn't matter. Money's not the same. Like if you were to go spend, you spent, oh, oh, wow, you spent a thousand dollars on Pokemon cards. You haven't even thought about it. You haven't even thought about it.

You spent a thousand dollars on Pokemon cards two days ago you haven't thought about it. Yes, but that is a purchase. That's a purchase and I'm going for a master set. But if you have somebody else that's in a less fortunate situation in you, that's crazy ideals. Right. But you haven't even fathomed that way of living of 500 million for a million would be nothing. It's the same thing. You see how that works?

That's not the same thing. Because guess what? Dumb. I spent a thousand and not to sound like that, but I spent a thousand and not to sound like that, but I savings accounts and stuff like that and I haven't spent money on myself in a long time so I wanted to it doesn't matter it doesn't matter if I what's the what's the equivalent to that if I had 50,000 no if I had 500,000 dollars it's well okay well but a millions a million a million a million a million and hey I want you to lean in real quick yeah yeah you know that whole story about the billionaire you

know that'll talk right yeah you can't fathom that because we're not even close who is that If you're close to, if you right now are close to a billion dollars in your name, that pretty little face, you were very handsome, by the way. We don't do this often. We don't do this enough. If you're close to- I'll lose a little equity. If you are close to a billion dollars, I quit right now. Really? Yeah. If I had a billion dollars, dude, right to get into this guy. I got canceled last time. Peyton, if you had a billion dollars. The fact that you expect something from me is crazy. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Why would you quit? Because your life's not changing. I said if you had a billion and I didn't know that you had a billion. Yeah.

I quit. You'd quit the podcast if you found out I was a billionaire? No, no, I'd quit Peyton. I'd quit you. I'd quit you. Is that not messed up? Is it not more messed up that you are a billionaire and I don't know? What I eat does not make you shit.

That's fine. That's food. I'm talking about financials. What does that change? What does that change? Payton, when we have... At what point does it matter? What?

What does that mean? Like, I've treated you the same. That should be more of equity. I've seen your genitalia. And that's worth more than a billion. I've had a head rub from your aunt. I know everything about your family.

And if you've kept that you're a bill, we can't fathom it. A billionaire. A billionaire. You sound moochy. I'm not asking for a dime. Why are you leaving me then? Because that's an incredible secret to absolutely.

Absolutely keep from me. Because I wanted to test if you were actually my friend. It's the friendship test. The friendship test, that's fine. I'm passing the test. No, you're not. You're not passing the test. If you're going to leave me,

if you found out that I'm doing better than you in life, already better. More better. Way more better than I already am doing better. Ears look really good, but you don't use them well, right? I said, if you were a billionaire, I'm not mad that I don't have a billion. I'm not mad that you don't bless me.

None of that. That's fine. Right. I'm saying I'd be mad that I didn't know that. You have trusted me with very deep secrets as so I have to you. That wasn't English. Yeah. That is the premise I'm coming from. I don't need your money. I'd love to figure out what you did to get there. It's some of your business. And that's fine too. That's fine too. But you, but the way you're doing this is very colonial and like, in like your people. Like, I need to, it's

my duty. It's I have to find out I get involved in that. It's not your, you'd be happy for me. You loved me before the money, right? I love you before the money. I loved you when you were creep up. I go, I loved you when you were nasty. Okay, question. We don't have to make this long. Okay. Would you be more upset at me?

Would you more... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You're there and I'm here. We're here together. Would you be more upset at me if you found out I was a billionaire right now? Yes. Or if you found out that I had a child and I didn't tell you about either one. Which one?

If you didn't know, out of the dark. I want this to live on the internet forever. Yeah. Which one you'd be more upset about? If you had a child right now. Yeah. You had a human being that came from your nuts. Right now, I would never talk to you again.

If you had a kid and I was not privy at all, in the slightest, God forbid what's the age of this kid? If the kid can walk, if this kid can walk, if you said, oh, here's my son, bring him in. What if I? Walks to me? Okay, what if I had him in high school before we met each other? And then like the mom took off.

By the way, that was a pickup line I used to use on girls. it's so true i used to like test girls and be like i have a i got a girl pregnant in high school oh my god you did you remember that i've heard that yeah i said yeah no i got a kid back i mean she you know kind of rocky end yeah mom took off she blocked me on everything he's like i haven't i missed the kid i love him i just and i would pull up light skin baby pictures on google and send it to the thing it worked test out who really liked me or not you want to talk about a weird bag yeah that was weird god yeah even if you had him in high school now this before you and the kids kids not in my life, like the mom took off.

Now this is your only out. If you, I'm talking like, birth happened, both gone. And she blocks you, like there's, like you can't, no matter how much you want, you cannot be involved in that life. That's your only out. So if I'm involved at all, you would be mad at me. Absolutely. That's so weird to me.

Why? It's none of your business. You were ready to fight me because I told a random man in the Neiman that my sister lived in Germany. You were mad that you didn't know my sister, lived in Germany. That was crazy. If you had a seed,

if you had offspring on earth, you don't think I deserve to be mad. See, that's so different. If I found out you were... If you had a dog that I didn't know about, I'd be flivid. Like, what do you mean? You had Dexter.

What do you mean? Where's this... See, we're completely opposite how our minds works. Because I love you more than you love me. If I found out, I wouldn't kill about a child. If I found out you were a billionaire and you didn't break me off

about half a mill at least by now, I would never, I would kill you. Oh, exactly. I would take insurance out on your life, Cam. Oh, but if I have a billion, you're not touching me. You're not, I'd have snipers everywhere. No, if I had a billion, first off, I would bless you heavily. Now, honestly, I don't think you would do this.

I would set you up. I would set you up for something. Like, what does that mean? You have to work for it. That's fine. I'd get you in a pretty, like, what did you want, like a car shop or something? I'd open you have a car wash or something. Like, go get on your own.

I didn't ask for a car wash. It's my money. Yeah, like, you don't. So I just. have to break you off cold cash. I would expect that. You would expect, because I've already put in the equity.

I've already put in the sweat equity in our- What the f***ing have I done? You've fallen off on it. It's changed, for sure. For sure, for sure. It's when them kids came along, bro, you started treating me different. You used to, this, this,

you ask your kids now and, like, check on them is what you used to do to me. And it's, it's honestly been bothering me. First, it was that girl, right? And then it was those two kids. This is incredible. No, and I'm not upset because I get it, and I'm a grown man, and I get it.

As you should, right? But I have emotions. I'm emotional. That's fine. And like, you'll ask Malachi, you go, oh, Bub, you do this? And I was like, dude, that took me back to freshman year or Semmel's State College. And I was like, dude, I remember he used to ask me that. Anyway, let's get us out of here, man.

That is unbelievable. But we absolutely love each and every single one of you. If you are watching this right now, we just got back from four bangers. shows, Boston, Chicago, Columbus, and Orlando. Thank you so much. Y'all are fantastic. And we have one city left domestically. At the time of this right now, there's a couple tickets,

but when y'all are watching this, I don't know, it could be sold out. But hit that second link. Sorry, first link in the bio, Dallas, I mean, I'm like, I'm stroking out. I'm stroking out. What? I was just out. Oh, oh, okay.

Dallas, Texas, July 25th. That is our last show, domestically. Then we're going across the pond. We're going to the UK. Hey, we're having an after. Well, I don't know. We got, we should have been set up already. But we're having a party after party.

We're having a party. In Dallas, it's going to be crazy. I don't know where yet. So make sure you get your ticket to that. But also, if you're not in the Kuala Club, you're absolutely tripping. Literally ask any Kuala Club member, and they will say it is worth it. And it's an amazing community over there. And we put so much.

There's some people that in the Patreon, I love to go, I forgot they have a YouTube channel. Yeah. It's like, because there's so much. They just live on the Patreon. It's basically got Netflix over there. Just why. Imagine Netflix, but all the shows are wise. Yeah.

There's a, so you have an entire other episode every week. You have. Two sometimes. Yeah, sometimes two. You have, if you're royalty, you have an exclusive live stream every single month. You have an exclusive episode just for you every single month. You have Dr. Peas. You have conspiracies.

You have TMTs. You have food feuds. You have games. You have challenges. You have vlogs. I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot. Go check it off for yourself.

We love you. Confuse the casuals and get the karma this week's secret. Good karma. Code. Oh, do we do? Something about. Be nice. to Payton during live streams.

What? That was this episode. PLS, please. PLS. Payton live stream. Payton live stream. Payton live stream, please. PLS.

One out of two globers I met up to Khr-Smiss and we'll see you. Yeah, that was butt-naked, dropped to my knees. Next time, that's so funny. That's so funny. That's so funny.