You Should Know Podcast - THE NAUGHTY ROBOT CHALLENGE! -You Should Know Podcast-

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Starting point is 00:01:26 The You Should Know Podcast. The You Should Know Podcast. Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast. Episode 144, the Christmas episode. Round of applause. Please. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Hey, everybody.

Starting point is 00:01:54 Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast. If you're new here or if you haven't already, you look below, you see the subscribe button isn't pressed. You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more are ongoing. Fill that out. It is the Christmas episode of the you should know podcast so I just want to say Merry Christmas Happy Holidays to everybody watching y'all are family to us so we are all celebrating

Starting point is 00:02:15 this together we love you we love you so much and let's keep expanding this family let's keep getting new cousins and sisters and brothers and little pets and dogs and gerbils and all that so share this podcast with your friends the best Christmas gift you could get for us is just sticking around, sharing this podcast with your friends and joining the Patreon, joining the Twitter, the Discord, the Twitch. Shout out to everybody in the watch party. We love you so much. We are a couple weeks away from YSK 2025 and you know there's going to be so many new things coming. We cannot wait to share this with you. We've been working really hard, and I know that y'all have been waiting.

Starting point is 00:02:52 We love you. We love you. We love you. Let's just get into it. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life, but you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning.

Starting point is 00:03:06 You can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water to drink. And, of course, you can rest assured that with Public Mobile's 5G subscription phone plans, you'll pay the same thing every month. With all of the mysteries that life has to offer, a few certainties can really go a long way. Subscribe today for the peace of mind you've been searching for. Public Mobile. Different is calling. We got co-host Cam back in the studio.

Starting point is 00:03:36 Go, Camwen. Go, Camwen. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Literally, there's dust flying up. Do you see that? Is something on fire? Dude, it literally was like dust accumulating up. It got my nose, though.

Starting point is 00:03:52 Yeah. But, Cam, happy Christmas episode to you, buddy. Merry Christmas to you, beautiful. Yeah, okay, but you're not dressed too Christmassy. Yeah, I kind of missed the memo. You told me, hey, just show up. I said, we doing something cool? You said, nah, you didn't worry about yourself.

Starting point is 00:04:07 I said, Payton, I need to know. You said, fuck off. Okay, but I do have something for you so we can be matching for this Christmas episode. Oh, God. I got you the same matching tree jacket. There you go. Hey, I like it. Go, go, put it on.

Starting point is 00:04:21 Yeah. A matching tree jacket. Okay, okay. Yeah. Oh, the tag's still on it. No, no, the tag on. Yeah. A matching tree jacket. Okay, okay. Yeah. Oh, the tag's still on it. No, no, the tag's on. Slightly embarrassing. It's okay.

Starting point is 00:04:28 You spend. Go, throw it on. Throw it on. Put this bad boy on? Yeah, let's see how you look, Bubba. Oh, God. I'm going to be awfully warm. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:38 That's what, honestly, I was thinking about. Whenever I was getting these, I was like, Cam sweats a lot, and it's going to be hot in the studio. No, I sweat a lot. And you're wearing gray sweatpants. Oh, I see your little moose knuckles okay okay okay i see that you look good and and i got you a matching christmas hat a little santa hat okay well this is where it might go downhill i got it right in your size.

Starting point is 00:05:10 You're such an a**hole. It's a good size for you. Now, what would you do if this still kind of fit snug? There we go. There we go there we go oh wow i saw that and i was like they do make inclusive hats look at me you want to know what that's like a hedgehog like like sonic you don't know what that hat's actually for what to house kittens are you this is a kitten home i got a kitten crib on my head are you kidding me oh it's so hot in this look at me

Starting point is 00:05:53 look at me okay it's it's good to know that this is too big yes i'm gonna go in the back like that so i still see in here but even better cam no we don't even have to wear these hats, though. Why? Because I found out before recording, we can turn into Christmas trees. You look like a Teletubby. We could be Christmas trees, buddy. This is the biggest hat ever. So thank God. Yeah. Oh, God.

Starting point is 00:06:19 This might not be good. You look... Well, no, you are. No, I'm not. you don't have to look it what do you mean i look what i don't look good no yeah you look like more of like what do you mean what i can't say it you should though like you have an expiration date like a patient i look like I look like... I look like the city came in and brought a potluck to my floor. Like Spider-Man's going to come say hi.

Starting point is 00:06:52 Like John Cena's creeping through the hallway right now. That can't stay. That can't stay. But Merry Christmas to you. Merry Christmas. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. And...

Starting point is 00:07:02 Oh, my God. How was your week? This week... Okay. Can I get... get can i directly directly get into something yeah this episode that i've been sitting on and waiting for about four or five days okay is it is it christmasy it is not christmas okay but it's a story from hell okay when i say that it is i love it let's let's go let into it. I'll speed up quick, and then I'll tell details. Here we go. So me and Liv had a baby appointment. We go to the baby appointment.

Starting point is 00:07:30 There's a Chili's right around the corner. We always eat lunch there afterwards, talk about it. So we get to this Chili's. This is where this day became one we'll never forget. We get in this Chili's. It's like 2 o'clock on a Tuesday. No one's in the Chili's. So we're sitting down ordering all this

Starting point is 00:07:45 stuff and this old man like old 84 it was his 84th birthday oh it was his birthday it was his birthday and i heard him say that that's cute because he ordered a beer and the guy goes i'll need to see your id joking with him he goes it's my 84th birthday and i said okay this guy he doesn't care about jokes yeah 84 year old daughter, who's like 60. Oh, wow. Okay? And then her granddaughter, who's like 15. Okay.

Starting point is 00:08:11 Four generations. We got all generations here. Four generations at one table. Yes. So. We got slavery, and then we got segregation, and then we got inclusive. I got it. We got all of them here.

Starting point is 00:08:23 Yeah. We got them all. We don't discriminate at chili's so it starts with he uh they order chips and queso nice random shit right so their food comes out like their dinner is ready waiter comes around goes here i got some food for you he goes take it back oh no literally just like that take it back you see we're still working on the chips i don't want it yet take it back and when that food comes out it better just like that. Take it back. You see, we're still working on the chips. I don't want it yet. Take it back. And when that food comes out, it better be hotter.

Starting point is 00:08:47 I'm sending it back again. Oh, no. He's a bad person. No, he's a bad... He's an asshole. Okay. I give him grace. Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:08:53 84, you're on your way out. I'd be mean to him. Yeah, he doesn't care about anything. Yeah. So the waiter literally is holding three meals and goes... And then his daughter looks up and goes, you heard him? Oh. And I go, these people suck okay bad these

Starting point is 00:09:06 people whole family's horrible family sucks and the little girl she's fine the whole story she didn't do anything yeah so the food goes back i kid you not he goes like this waiter waiter in a chili's yeah like this we're not in a saloon we're not out in the in the nowhere yeah this is chili's in the middle of texas waiter the guy comes up he goes now i said i wanted you to keep that food back there until we're done make sure you can keep it hot did you hear me he goes well yeah no this and we're connecting booths to him we're connected they're directly behind us he goes uh yes sir i did he goes all right so like i said when it comes out it better be hot and i'm at this point, me and Liver look at each other like,

Starting point is 00:09:46 what is happening? These are the worst people ever. So then he finishes his beer. Again, he goes, waiter! Like, he's not doing this. He's not waving at him. There's no one in this Chili's. There's maybe 20 people in a whole Chili's.

Starting point is 00:09:58 Waiter! Screaming, bro. Like, just obnoxious. Guy goes, I need another beer. You see, it's empty. And I go, this guy is the worst tyrant yeah so then they finish the chips they the the waiter sends his boss she comes back she goes are you ready for your meal now he goes yes we are we're finally done with our appetizer that's typically how meals go appetizers first entrees second and like i told your boy if it's not hot i'm sending it back and i'm like you can only imagine

Starting point is 00:10:26 me i'm they're literally he's directly to my back like i'm looking at live he's looking at his daughter that way okay i'm directly sharing space with him food comes back out shit you're not the first thing food comes out there he literally goes he goes i ordered six nachos i ordered a half order of nachos he goes sir we don't we don't make half orders, so there's just 12. So every other restaurant, if I ask for six, they can give me six, but y'all can't? He's complaining he got more food for the same price. More food.

Starting point is 00:10:53 He goes, I only want six. And his daughter looks up and goes, well, dad, just eat six and make them throw the other six away. Like, they're the worst people ever, okay? Jesus. The whole time this keeps happening. He takes a bite out of his nacho, and he literally, I'm going to pretend this is the napkin. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:08 Takes a sip of his beer, and he goes. And he stands up. He walks into the kitchen. He walks directly outside of the kitchen and goes like this with his hand. And I'm like, what is he doing? He literally goes, because he's still chewing his nacho. Yeah. And they go, sir sir can i help you something

Starting point is 00:11:25 he goes you got any salt you got salt i guess i'll season it myself and i we are we are blown away so then finally and it's the same waiter and he's like a nice young 20s kid working at chili yeah so the waiter comes back to us and we go dude i'm sorry like that is you you just know you're doing great like you're doing great with us, great service. They suck. Just go about your day. So then, finally, the woman starts complaining about her meal. Something's wrong.

Starting point is 00:11:54 She wants sliced onions instead of diced. Yeah. And finally, they're still, they're just going in on this waiter. And Liv can't take it anymore. Yeah. Like, she just can't do it. Her hormones, whatever. And she literally goes, y'all are just being rude. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:03 Out loud to the woman. The woman goes, mind your fucking business. Oh, yeah. And she literally goes, y'all are just being rude out loud to the woman. The woman goes, mind your business. Oh, yeah. So then I turn around and I'm looking at them both. And I'm just sitting there looking. And Liv goes, well, y'all are being rude. And she goes, you should just stay in your own booth and mind your business. Nobody was talking to you.

Starting point is 00:12:19 And then the grandpa does this again. He goes, like he's about to stand up. And I literally, it was honestly such a strange emotion because I was like, if this guy wasn't 84, then stand up all you want. And we're going to figure this out. We're going to figure it out. But you're 84.

Starting point is 00:12:35 I could sneeze on you, and you'd fall and crack your head. So I'm like, I don't know. I'm kind of lost. I'm like, I can't punch an 84-year-old or push him nothing. You can't do anything. So then luckily his daughter goes, Dad, don't say anything to her. And he goes. And then her and Liv just exchange words for a little bit,

Starting point is 00:12:52 and they're the worst people ever. So then they finally come out, and she goes, my burger was awful. Y'all missed the mark on it. Service is horrible. You gave my dad too much food, and he had to get his own salt. I think we're going to never come back. And they they're still professionals could we take the bill off for you could she goes no do you want another burger no but let me get a to-go box what is that so you hate the food but you want your leftovers you want to make sure you eat the rest of it holy shit so finally she asked the

Starting point is 00:13:22 little girl she goes how was your meal sweetest granddaughter oh it was perfect it was great and i go yeah that's what i thought so that's awful the chilies we go and apologize to them and we leave right and me and live are sitting there talking about what the hell did we just experience it right and then on the way back to like back to uh outside the chilies i go in the bathroom there's a guy on the phone. No, I said it's in the fridge. It's in the fridge. Fridge. Like, excessively.

Starting point is 00:13:51 And I'm pissing next to him. And I finally look at him. And he goes, he's about deaf as shit, ain't he? And I go, uh, yeah. He goes, yeah. He's my old grandpa. He's on his way out. And I'm like, what is happening?

Starting point is 00:14:01 Literally, what is happening? We leave the Chili's on the way back home. German Shepherd, middle of the highway. And I'm like, what is happening? What is happening with old people here? Literally, what is happening? We leave the Chili's on the way back home, German Shepherd, middle of the highway. And I'm not kidding. There's traffic. Oh, no, not dead. Fully alive with a pink harness on. But just strutting around.

Starting point is 00:14:13 Oh, he just got loose. Just strutting around. I'm assuming it's a she. Big old pink harness. German Shepherd. Wait, a highway like 80 miles per hour? We're going 80 miles an hour. We dead stop, and I'm like, there's not a wreck.

Starting point is 00:14:23 There's no emergency vehicles. What's going on? And then all of a sudden, this cute little german shepherd just going through the walk through the highway and then when it passed everyone sped off and i was like i don't think we can ever go to that chili's i'm not gonna lie if that's happening i'm staying home for a week i'm not experiencing it was and all of that was in within like two hours dude okay nuts let's take an alternative route here old man stands up dude i i don't know i really don't comes to your table oh no because he would have called live a word you can't say oh yeah oh so he was a part of that oh yeah no yeah he would have said

Starting point is 00:14:55 something that no matter how much i didn't want to do something to an old man respect your elders all that nonsense i don't think i don't believe in that. I mean, when they're like 40, 50, it's like you're a grown man, I'm a grown man. When you're 80, it's like, I don't know. You could have served our country. That doesn't give you an excuse. But if he would have said a word that's unforbidden, if he would have said Voldemort, but the other version,

Starting point is 00:15:17 I would have had, what'd you say? Noldemort. Noldemort. Noldemort. No,emort. Noldemort. No, I'm just kidding. If you had said that, it would have triggered something inside of me. Don't know what would have happened.

Starting point is 00:15:31 Because I don't want to be that person. But I would have had to. Okay. And that's where I'm fine with it. What do you think I would have done in that position? You, bro, you would have done, I mean, luckily the guy did not say a single word. So I kind of, I was just like... Okay. She's not talking crazy to my wife.

Starting point is 00:15:47 She's just saying, mind your business. Like, y'all are being rude. Yeah. But as soon as... Like, if it would have escalated more, and you would have been there, or I would have been there, we definitely... It would have been a verbal battle. Oh, I would have been...

Starting point is 00:15:57 A lot of verbal shots. I would have literally been the most annoying person to be around. Like, I would have literally, like, brought my chair, or brought a chair right to their table. I would have done something to make them uncomfortable. I wanted to say old man, I will That can't stay but that's what I wanted to say

Starting point is 00:16:15 if I'm being honest. And that just sucks because we're in the holiday spirit. Where are your dresses? Christmas tree, CJ's got bells on his chest. Bluey. Honestly, a lot of people do suck. It's bad. No, it's annoying. And I don't know why.

Starting point is 00:16:28 There's no reason. Be happy. Have a smile. Am I going to be a little bah humbug-ish right now, though, without what I'm about to say? I swear to God you didn't speak English. You didn't just say something in American English. I don't know what you just said.

Starting point is 00:16:38 A little bah humbug-ish. No. What is that? That sounded like a slur. That sounded slurry. That sounded like it carries a sentence. No, that's CJ's Christmas. That sounded slurry. That sounded like it carries a sentence. No, that's CJ's Christmas. Slurry.

Starting point is 00:16:49 CJ's Christmas is real slurry. A little slurry. No black coal in his stocking. If we want something there. If it's coal, it's white as snow. No, seriously, what are you saying? Bah humbug-ish. I'm not even trying to troll you. Bah humbug you saying? Bah humbug-ish. I'm not even trying to troll you.

Starting point is 00:17:06 Bah humbug-ish? Bah humbug. Bah humbug-ish. Bah humbug-ish. Yeah, but bug-ish is my... What the f*** is that? What is bah humbug-ish? Bah humbug-ish.

Starting point is 00:17:19 Yeah, that's... No, you're not saying... You're not saying... You've never been a kid... No, see, no. I'm not letting you do this. Stop it. Wait a minute. Oh, no. You're not back on your... never been a kid. No, see, no. I'm not letting you do this. Stop it. Wait a minute.

Starting point is 00:17:25 Oh, no. You're not back on your, oh, my family said it can muds this and muds that. No. I smell peanut butter. What? You never, on Christmas, right? And you had a bad attitude on Christmas and an old white woman came up to you and said, bah humbug.

Starting point is 00:17:40 Okay, that's your problem there. One, my old white women, they stayed seated when I was opening gifts. And couldn't see. And couldn't see. And couldn't see. Couldn't really hear too well. And second, I didn't have a bad answer on Christmas because it's Christmas. You were an ungrateful swine and your grandma got up and said, Bam hum begat!

Starting point is 00:17:54 Bam sah hum begat! Just because she's German doesn't mean she sounded like that. She said, bam hum begat! And you went, wah, wah, wah. You never heard bah humbug Dude that's not fucking real Bah humbug is a word CJ doesn't know anything Bah humbug means you're like

Starting point is 00:18:22 Bah humbug means it's like the negative person on Christmas You're. Bah humbug means you're like... Get it out. Bah humbug means it's like the negative person on Christmas. You're being a humbug. What the... I'm explaining it. Quit asking. What is a humbug? I don't know. What does green mean?

Starting point is 00:18:36 Green is just color. And humbug is an action. You just said it was a person. It's a verb. What's a person place right there? That's a noun. I thought that was a person. It's a verb. What's a person placed right there? It's a noun. I thought that was an adjective. And this guy got an English award?

Starting point is 00:18:52 Adjective is describing something. That is a funny person. That is a big car. It's a noun adjective. It's a noun adjective verb. It's a noun adjective. They're about humbugs. About humbug is like a negative person on Christmas.

Starting point is 00:19:04 Okay. I'll accept that moving forward knowing it's nonsense. You know, it's 100% a real thing and everybody in the comments is going to say it. You just didn't have Christmas spirit. Okay, you said curmudgeons was real as well. Yes. Get your gift back. But I think that's because of redlining and all that.

Starting point is 00:19:18 Lack of resources. They just threw a word together. They said we got to go get off. Come on. That's so, oh. All right, Bahumbug. Bahumbug. I'm not a Bahumbug.

Starting point is 00:19:32 No, but I'm going to be a little Bahumbug-ish. Oh, why? I'm going to be a little Bahumbug right now. Why would you choosingly, willingly do this? Because a lot of, like, I love Christmas. I love Jesus. What are you about to say? You're about to get struck.

Starting point is 00:19:45 I'm going to say a lot of Christmas traditions are BS. Okay, well now I agree. Now I'm on there. I'm not going to lie. A lot of people trying to force these Christmas traditions on me make me not want to celebrate it. You know what I mean? Oh, good morning. I wouldn't go that far.

Starting point is 00:20:01 I just think some could be left out. And it's a little bit the way I was raised. My mom never had a small mannequin man on our mantle and said, hey, at night he's going to move. You know what I mean? That's stupid as shit. Elf on a shelf? How about sit him down somewhere else? Elf on a shelf is creepy.

Starting point is 00:20:18 Why is that a thing? It's very new. Very new. It literally was not new. It wasn't around when we were kids. That's definitely around since the world was black and white. Elf on a Shelf has been around since the world was black and white. Elf on a Shelf is not new.

Starting point is 00:20:32 Elf on a Shelf is relatively new. What came first, the iPhone or Elf on a Shelf? iPhone. You're crazy as hell. CJ, please fact check that. You continue. No, Elf on a Shelf has been a thing. But first of all, why?

Starting point is 00:20:42 What does that mean? It sucks regardless. And then the people that go all out, they have it like trailing dust one day, and the next day it's eating a box of donuts. No, to hell with that. I'm not going to lie. A lot of y'all's kids are stupid. Because who believes that?

Starting point is 00:20:54 Yeah, they wake up and they're like, ooh, there's an elf with a parachute. No, Christmas is on the 25th. That's when you're opening gifts. This elf isn't bringing anything but bad juju and demons. Yeah, oh, well, no. That's why I don't have it. And I never believed in Santa. Maybe I'm this way because I never believed in Santa. I never

Starting point is 00:21:10 did that because my parents showed me their early. They said, I got you that. You like that bike? You think Mark. You don't think Santa or Jack Nick, whatever his name is. No, I would. Okay, this is where we have a

Starting point is 00:21:25 fundamental agreement what does it say it was in 2005 hmm iPhones were not in 2005 2007 I was two years old anyway

Starting point is 00:21:32 relatively new for the world black and white and I don't believe that it's 20 years old and I don't believe that maybe that's when it got commercialized but it was underground scene for sure

Starting point is 00:21:40 we don't have no tree now this elf is gonna bring us I don't like when you do that i need to stop doing i need to stop doing that but that's where we that's we're very different okay i was a heavy santa guy heavy santa yeah but your parents never posed that threat though yeah no like wasn't scared you knew if somebody broke in your house the police are gonna get called 100 i knew somebody broke into my house there's a scene happening. There's going to be something to mop up. You're going to hear a loud, wah, wah, wah. I knew that early.

Starting point is 00:22:09 I was asking. First of all, we didn't have a chimney. I was like, is brother coming through the window? Is he breaking the door down? I go, how does he have our keys? That's exactly what I asked. I asked that one year, too. I said, how does Santa get in?

Starting point is 00:22:22 I think my mom was like, he's all knowing. He's all powerful. I said, is he crying went oh no i said so does he have a kid like a big key smith guy and then i asked my mom i said we got adt don't we i was like why is the alarm not going off he seeped through the wall you know it's the passion kool-aid man just puts gifts it's a cookie and leaves. Yeah, and I was like – and my parents hated cookies. My parents are not sweets people. Like that's why I'm not a sweets person.

Starting point is 00:22:52 That's nice. And so they'd never let me do the cookie thing because no one was going to eat that. And my dog would have got to it. And I woke up one morning and there's a dead lab because he had a chocolate chip. Merry Christmas. Malcolm's like, that'd be so messed up. No, my fat ass, I'd make a whole roll of cookies. I'd leave Santa about two.

Starting point is 00:23:11 I'd get about 11 down the pipe. I'd go lay down with a stomachache, wake up at 5 o'clock, I'd go wake up my dad who just worked a 14-hour shift, say, hey, Christmas time, present time. And then we'd go there and go, rah, and rip everything open. My dad hated Christmas morning. My dad should have went to CVS before. He's like, oh no.

Starting point is 00:23:30 He'd get up there, he'd watch me. Dude, did your, what'd you just say? What did you just say? You think my father doesn't want me? There's been times, oh for sure. If you're waking up after 14 hour shifts

Starting point is 00:23:47 yeah i go please christmas christmas it's five o'clock you got home at two yeah and then you go you go to the living room and then lisa's like cam look san ate the cookies you're like no this house yeah i go no i had a lot mom i had a lot he actually took a one bite no dude my mom always till this day as a 26 year man, if I'm opening a gift, my mom's like this. She goes, what'd you get, honey? Where's it from? I go, look. Hold it.

Starting point is 00:24:17 I start her like this. I'm Lisa. She's like, you got to extend it, though, like her. Good job, Cam. I go, oh, I got this thing right here, mom. I got this thing. It's my camera. I'm like mom

Starting point is 00:24:25 no it's this cool i hit it off every time she goes oh every dude every single christmas yeah and i won it and one year i finally i was just like mom where are these pictures going yeah she goes oh well they were on my old phone but then i got t-boned and i lost that phone i go so let's stop the tradition with the car wreck. Let's leave it in there. You know what I do appreciate about my family's Christmas? And I don't know if it's because Preston's touched, but what he is, he's got special gifts. He's a great guy. He's fantastic.

Starting point is 00:24:56 But he's 6'4", 240. With a 51. And he's sitting crisscross applesauce. I love him to death. With a 40-ounce course. Preston, it's 8 a.m. But Preston is the sweetest. Oh, Merry Christmas.

Starting point is 00:25:16 I smell the coffee. Hey, what? Peyton wakes up. But that is one of my favorite things though because he is like a grown big man but he's like he is very like

Starting point is 00:25:29 like dying I know me too he's like a very sweet soul so he still wants to keep like the childhood of like Christmas

Starting point is 00:25:36 so he'll sit crisscross applesauce on Christmas on the floor and like he'll pass out gifts one by one and don't

Starting point is 00:25:43 don't try to open up two gifts at once he'll say it's my turn he goes wait wait you're sitting there oh oh okay okay preston he's like yeah one by one thread by thread and it's so nice because a lot of our family gets us bullshit. Oh, I could see that. We'll get some draws and press his leg. He's like, I've been needing this. No, I'm not going to lie.

Starting point is 00:26:15 There's a theory in my house that Preston has teeth on his gooch. What the fuck does that mean explain that now because your mother and father are in on a theory that your brother has teeth on his there's no what does that possibly mean because in every pair of drawers he has there's a hole in the same spot, and he'd be biting them. It's like it's a cloth bandit. He might do that. He might get an extra itch. Hey, I had one pair that was just a sword swipe.

Starting point is 00:26:58 It was just wide open. My nut sack could just fall straight through at any time and threw him away. Yeah. Oh, my God. Teeth on his gooch. No way. What are some other Christmas traditions that are just awful? Oh my god. I'm not going to lie. Can I say something about Christmas food real quick?

Starting point is 00:27:13 Now you watch your tongue. You absolutely watch yourself. Isn't it just Thanksgiving food with a different layout? It's Thanksgiving part two with a couple differences. That's it. And it's fantastic. What's the differences? Watch your mouth. What's the differences between... We don't have a turkey on Christmas. We only have a ham.

Starting point is 00:27:27 A lot of people have turkey on Christmas. A lot of people do turkey. Y'all have turkey on Christmas? I don't. My family doesn't. We don't. Well, turkeys, I believe it's from the... Slavic lands?

Starting point is 00:27:36 Oh, no. I was going to say from the natives. It was a turkey bird. Took over. So we took that and said, let's's eat it let's eat it so like that means something you like that right i'm gonna eat it no but that's thanksgiving there's a turn that's not right no at all it's wrong not right that's okay then why were you thinking about getting that christopher columbus tattoo okay you were i'm getting a columbus tattoo that's your guy

Starting point is 00:28:04 no it's not my guy you're like he fought for what he wanted and i want to do that no he did and he did and now we can't change history but that's not my guy oh what the hell i could have sworn you had a poster it's like it's like a like an album cover it's like mayflower and it's like for the parental advisory thing he's like this oh every this this podcast might just have to move fully to patreon because we're we keep toting the line we've been but christmas food is ass because it's the same as like it's thanksgiving now i told you to watch your tongue i told you to watch your tongue it's the same so it's thanksgiving ass no but but it's like it's

Starting point is 00:28:40 it's the duplicate it's a part two the thing that makes a month later you get the same shit again that you don't get for another 11 months after Christmas dinner. But the good thing about Thanksgiving food is you wait a whole calendar year and you miss all that food for a year. And you're like, I can't wait to have that food again. That's the magic of the Thanksgiving food. But then the magic. It's your dopamine letdown.

Starting point is 00:28:57 Yeah, but the magic is gone whenever you're, it's not the same. It doesn't hit the same when you're just waiting a month. It hits the same for me. Yeah, because. It's so good. You get your second plate. You might take your It's so good. You get your second plate. You might take your walk through the neighborhood. You get your third plate.

Starting point is 00:29:07 You go to sleep. And then a month later, you do it again. And then it's 11 months. I hate having food conversations with Cam because his family feeds him like a loose pig. Yeah, my back is big. They put a bucket out and everything's in there. And he's like. And they're like, Cam, take a breath.

Starting point is 00:29:28 Dude, if my family fed me through a trough, that would be... No, that'd be so messy. I do mix most things, though, on my plate. Yeah. Like, I'll kind of just... Dude, that's disgusting. Yes or no, have you ever shoveled off a plate? Shoveled.

Starting point is 00:29:44 Like, I've picked the plate up, bent it a little like a big slice of pizza, put it on my mouth, and I use my spoon, and I went. I've absolutely never done that or even thought about it. Big back activity, I guess. Speaking of like froths. Wait, what? Troths. The thing they feed pigs in?

Starting point is 00:30:01 A troth. I got emotionally attached to this, uh what's it called a cow that i saw online it had a disease in the brain i swear to god it's dead now dead dead cow chick fil a um and so they would put like he would be so excited it was like a dog like a dumb dog and its eyes are big and a little loose and it would i remember it would have like a bucket the the owner would be like pov recording this thing and it put the milk right on like this little container to hold the bucket and the cow would go eye deep into the bucket like whole head submerged in there and it eyes would open this milk hidden and then he'd like breathe breathe and he'd have to tap his head

Starting point is 00:30:43 and the and the cow would come up and look at him. And he'd go right back down and died. I think that disease made it do that. I bet the marbling on that steak was fantastic, though. I bet that steak was fire. So much calcium. He had milk in his eyeballs. That bitch was a hell of a wagyu.

Starting point is 00:31:06 I'm kidding. That's sad. Why? Okay, I'm not gonna lie. The craziest part, you said his eyes were loose. Yeah. You said his eyes were loose.

Starting point is 00:31:13 Yeah. What did the cow have? Oh, I don't know. Some kind of brain disease. Which is not okay. It's not. It's not okay. It's not funny.

Starting point is 00:31:20 It's not. I have a tooth pain. I'm holding my lip. It's not funny. You ever seen a deer that's a little throat off? Those are fascinating. They jump to the side and shit. They're like...

Starting point is 00:31:39 And then it goes for that mega jump and it's like so bad. It's like... Oh! Oh, no. What's the dumbest animal? The dumbest animal? Because deer are definitely up there. You ever seen a deer get trapped, and you let it loose, and then it gets trapped in the same spot?

Starting point is 00:31:52 Dude, goats and sheeps, too? Those are dumb. They're very dumb. And that little stupid bitch that plays dead in the street. What's its name? Possum? Little son of a bitch. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:01 I hate possums. I don't know. I hate possums. Why?'t know. I hate possums. Why? One, I feel like they stink. Two, they're ugly. And three, their best defense is to play dead. Are you kidding me?

Starting point is 00:32:12 No, you ever been around a meat? He just said possums are blind. They're all blind? No, they're not. There's no way they're born blind. No, I've had a possum attack me. It knew exactly where I was at. Now, what did you just say?

Starting point is 00:32:23 A possum attacked you? Yeah, we had a backyard possum. And it came after me one day. I didn't know it was there. It was at night. It's rabid. You need to answer this next thing very, very carefully. When you say we had a backyard possum, are you talking about the Hardins?

Starting point is 00:32:43 Yeah, it's my family. You tried to domesticate a possum yeah are you talking about the hardens yeah it's my family you tried to domesticate yeah a possum yeah how are you here and not on like trailer park boys how did you make it to that couch because you collected snails you domesticate possums you thought adt was saving santa you didn't believe in believe in him your brother has teeth in his gooch how are y'all not like in like Transylvania like in a different timeline well no it's not like

Starting point is 00:33:12 I would try to leash it but like I didn't want it to leave so I put up barriers like once so it was captive we fed him garbage and stuff like we like loose bananas and stuff apple cores you fed him garbage and stuff like we like like loose bananas and stuff you've apple cores you fed him mario kart ammo and you think that this was a nice thing because malcolm loved him

Starting point is 00:33:33 malcolm was probably foaming at the mouth on how he could eat him probably yeah every what dude you there's there's at one point we had a turtle, a possum, baby rabbits, and frogs. And snails. And snails. All in the backyard. And Malcolm. That sounds like a nightmare. That literally sounds like a nightmare.

Starting point is 00:33:53 No. Like you're sleepwalking and you open your eyes and it's like half a zoo is in the backyard. No, it was like heaven for a dog. Oh, for Malcolm. Yeah. And when Malcolm's happy, I'm happy. Until he started offing the squirrels and bringing them to the back door and saying, here's a prize.

Starting point is 00:34:07 I said, Malcolm. He goes, look what I got you. He drops it. He's just looking at you. He's torn apart. And I was like, Malcolm, that's Trevor. Yeah. And then my dad would have to get a shovel and put him in the recycling bin because he

Starting point is 00:34:19 didn't want that in the trash. I buried my cat in a paper box. Yeah, you say that. Sammy with the liver. In the back. In the backyard. Smelled like hell. Christmas. Yeah, Christmas. The You Should Know Podcast. Wendy's most

Starting point is 00:34:33 important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. Your mom's too good of a mom.

Starting point is 00:34:50 How so? That is why you are who you are. Your mom is too good. Why? Why do you say so? To her own default. She's allowing you to have possums, and snails, and Jaws the turtle, and all this shit.

Starting point is 00:35:04 She's allowing you to have posters of a wet, half-naked man in your room. Just everything. She's too good of a mom. No. She couldn't say no. I yelled at her. Unless it was in public and you were going for a tour. She's like, what?

Starting point is 00:35:19 And then she'd pop you. No, public she was very like, not having it. Private, you could do whatever the hell you wanted, and thank God you're here with us and you didn't go the other route. Because I'm telling you, you were close, dog. If you would have had a computer about three years earlier, you'd be behind bars right now. Oh, I was looking at Playboy on our family desktop.

Starting point is 00:35:36 Half chub. Right where my mom does work. And I didn't know about browsing history. And so she sat me down one day, and she goes, you know, you got to be careful what you look at on the internet. And I said, oh, you've seen the Playboy. I said, they're all that. And then I found out they had a play girl.

Starting point is 00:35:54 No. Wait, wait, wait. What? What? What? What are you saying? And then i was comparing and i said oh i said oh man when might i ever get like that mom when did boys stop growing yeah bro i'm gonna get taller right they do look like goddamn lebron on the front page i said i can't compete okay yeah oh my god oh man eight-year-old freedom and a computer

Starting point is 00:36:36 a lot can go wrong okay this is a this is a this is a story so bear with me oh my friends i used to go to my friend's house. He'd have an older brother, and he'd have pictures from magazines up on the walls. Hot. Yeah. And we would go in there, touch a nipple, and sprint out of the room. And one day, that was the game. That was it.

Starting point is 00:36:59 That was it. There was nothing more. Touch the nipple, run as fast as you could to his room. Shut the door. Act like you were hiding. Rinse, repeat. That was it. So one day, we go in there. I touch the nipple. And I was the bigger kid.

Starting point is 00:37:11 I touch the nipple. Clear the doorway. I ran smooth over his mom. I ran directly over her. You look like Ray Lewis. Like Ed Reed. I literally was like. And she went Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Starting point is 00:37:25 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Starting point is 00:37:34 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh No. Merry Christmas? No. Oh, no. No, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh, oh, stop, stop for me.

Starting point is 00:37:53 You've shanked it. You've soiled it. You jumped on it last week, and you've stabbed it. You've poured power right on it, but it stopped for me. Oh, no. Okay. We'll take a break. We'll come back in a second. Okay, so the couch is completely destroyed. I am at a lean. Yeah, this. Okay. We'll take a break. We'll come back in a second. Okay, so the couch is completely destroyed.

Starting point is 00:38:07 I am at a lean. Yeah, this is bad. Yeah, this is bad. But yeah, no, my mom didn't have a problem with the computer stuff until I made a friend on Club Penguin in the chat room. Club Penguin is where... Now, you could have a couple different friends you're talking about. Yeah, that was Chris Hansen's recruiting process. It was the Club Penguin chats. He's like, you could have a couple different friends you're talking about. Yeah, that was Chris Hansen's recruiting process.

Starting point is 00:38:26 It was the club penguin chats. He's like, you like pizza? Oh, Cam, your big back broke the couch. I know, bro. Damn it. I'm leaning. I'm literally like so far. I'm like, no.

Starting point is 00:38:39 Yeah, your back's going to hurt by the end of this because you're going to have to sit up. I'm going to have to be like right here. But in the spirit of Halloween. What? I'm lost, dude. I need a nap. In the spirit of Christmas, right? In the spirit of Halloween.

Starting point is 00:39:00 Dude, I'm going. I need a break. You said it. You said it so, so genuine, though. In the spirit of Halloween. What? In the spirit of Christmas, right? Let's hear it.

Starting point is 00:39:10 Christmas is all about warm feeling, good people, being nice to your neighbor, thinking outside of yourself, right? Yes. Let's go to the opposite of that. The worst people in the world. Okay. I want to talk about three different type of people, right? Okay.

Starting point is 00:39:24 That are absolutely just mean and cranky and bah humbug for no reason. Christmas carolers. No. Oh, my God. The worst. We talked about that last year. Don't sing at my doorstep. Get out of here.

Starting point is 00:39:35 It's in Texas. It's 63 outside. Yeah, it's like I know you're hot. Get out of here. What did he just say? I don't know. He said, I don't know. He said, I don't know where Christmas is. That scared me, to be honest.

Starting point is 00:39:50 It's always silent. Let's rank these three, right? Okay. The three people that are just so mean and anti-Christmas. Okay, I'm ready. TSA agents. Okay, bro. Post office workers.

Starting point is 00:40:04 And people that work at the DMmv the three meanest people in the world as soon as you said tsa and post office i said dmv's on you okay shit okay so one is the worst one is the worst three is the least out of the three and then we're gonna dive into it okay but let's let's just i think we all agree. There's a clear cut number one. Okay. You say it first. Let's say it at the same time because it's clear. If you say it wrong, I'm no. Okay.

Starting point is 00:40:30 Three, two, one. TSA. Okay, good. We're good. TSA is, and it sucks. They get a bad rep, but they, you don't own me. You don't own the plane. You clock in on a pad, and you protect our country.

Starting point is 00:40:45 And I appreciate it, but that's it. Okay, I remember you went on this rant about that, right? We can all agree they're bad. I don't make eye contact with them. It's like, hey, search me. Let's move it on, right? Don't yell at me where my laptop and camcorder go. And don't throw my bag.

Starting point is 00:41:00 Don't throw my bag. Dude, don't even touch my bag. Don't touch my bag unless you have to. It goes through a machine. It scans it. You use the little knob. I have nothing in there. Go to the next person.

Starting point is 00:41:09 What's your second worst? Second meanest out of those three? I got mine. Say it. No, just say it. Just say it? Yes. DMV.

Starting point is 00:41:18 Okay, that's going to be a popular opinion one. DMV. You're not? Post office. You're posty? Have you ever been to the post office in the middle of the day? See, I don't really ever go. I only go when I go with you.

Starting point is 00:41:30 It's like, hey, there's so many rules here and I don't understand it. Right? I get there's a long line. I don't know how this works. Stop yelling at me. It's 2024 and I'm standing in a post office. This isn't the back of my hand.

Starting point is 00:41:45 I don't know your rules. And post offices are awkwardly quiet. It's like a dentist waiting room. It's like a morgue. And you got this ex-felon behind the counter screaming at me in front of everybody. It's like, brother, I get it. I get it. But I'm just trying to mail this letter out to my grandma with cancer in Wyoming.

Starting point is 00:42:05 Oh, no. It's like you don't have to yell at me. That's so true, though. Like, these are funeral invites in here. And you're screaming at me because the stamp isn't on the right side. I don't know where to buy stamps. I don't even know what mail is anymore. I have an iPhone 16.

Starting point is 00:42:22 Bro, I go up for the P.O. Box for the You Should Know Podcast, right? Link in the description. Actually, we're getting a new one because I'm leaving that one. I go up there. The key doesn't work, right? Oh my god. Oh, I've seen this in person too many times. Now I'm confused. I can't go up to the ex-felon. He's yelling at

Starting point is 00:42:39 this old white lady with Lululemon. He's about to fight. He's gonna fight. So I'm like, I'm waiting. And they say a service door. There's a service door with a little peephole and like a half window on it. And it's a half door. Don't like half doors. LEDs don't work on the ceiling, right?

Starting point is 00:42:53 So it's dark. And there's a little flicker. And there's like an ooze on the wall. It's so strange. Very quiet. Very quiet. And I'm like, there's a doorbell. I hold it.

Starting point is 00:43:05 I'm waiting for 20 minutes. No one comes. That was the loudest sound I've ever heard. You know that somebody's here. There's a siren in here. I ring it again. Another felon comes up to the table. I'm like, did y'all recruit from the state penitentiary?

Starting point is 00:43:19 What's going on? I'm like, can we get some customer service in here? He literally opens the door. He's like, what you need? Something like that. I go, I'm sending this out. I don't know if you can make the jokes. And so he's like, there's this lady and she goes, what?

Starting point is 00:43:37 And I'm like, key don't work. And she's, you talk to Mary. Who the fuck is Mary? And is she that accessible? Is she just walking around? It's like, is that like the neighborhood fixer-upper? Like we are supposed to know? She's just the AI.

Starting point is 00:43:53 I go, Mary, my key. And then she was like, did you pay your bill on time? And I go, I think so. I don't know. It's on reoccurring, so I'd hope. And she goes, what's your name? And I go, Peyton. But the thing might be under you should know podcast.

Starting point is 00:44:08 She says, why? I'm like, do you want the story? I'm like, we have a podcast. We have our fans send stuff here. And she goes, is it going to be a lot? I go, hey, rude motherfucker. I go, I don't know. And she goes, wait.

Starting point is 00:44:25 Slams the door back on me. I'm waiting for another 20 minutes. She opens it back up. What? Okay, wait right there. It closes. You go, yeah. And then the felon from behind the counter that's on the other counter is like,

Starting point is 00:44:44 hey, man, did you pay your bill? And I'm like, now we're talking about finances and it's a line of 30. What if I didn't? You know what I mean? You don't have to know that, sir. She starts walking toward me. And so she brings back envelopes and stuff. She goes, yeah, you need to fix that.

Starting point is 00:44:56 You got to talk to Mary. Who the fuck is Mary? Where is she? Do you have a number? Where is Mary? And then she hands the key to me. There's another key for the bigger packages. And she goes, you know how this works?

Starting point is 00:45:10 And I go, think so. And she goes, okay, well, this is the last time we're doing this for you. And I said, hey, I didn't make you work here or go to prison. I didn't commit those crimes. I didn't fill out your application i am not you so be nice last time we're doing your key isn't working in your box and i'm the problem exactly so post office i think they're the meanest the only thing with the dmv the dmv is more ruthless and people stink no they do honestly smell like tartar sauce.

Starting point is 00:45:45 It's like the day you got to go to the DMV, people are just like, they don't even shower. They just get out of bed and crawl to the DMV. Let me be honest. Okay, I understand it is my responsibility to bring the things I need to the DMV. I get that. Yes. But sometimes it is not clear what I need to bring to the DMV.

Starting point is 00:46:02 Factual. You go to the DMV, you have a ticket, right? And it says your number four, like we're playing goddamn bingo. It's like, number 437, go to this window. I've been waiting for two hours, right? Oh my god. And they go, what are you here for? License renewal, whatever, registration, whatever.

Starting point is 00:46:18 They'll be like, did you bring the things you're supposed to? I'll put down what I brought, right? They go, you missed something go home and get it i'm like i've been waiting for two hours like i can't do anything for you i'm like you can make some shake yeah you can look some up you got the database of the texas on here travis it is you've worked here for 10 years minimum help me yeah it's like i didn't know i was supposed to bring that and they're like make a new appointment try again tomorrow hey i'm gonna be riding dirty as shit before i come and

Starting point is 00:46:50 wait another two hours in this cell block dude that and that is why that's why the dmv is worse for me because of the duration you're there i i don't think anyone if you've had a good dmv experience leave in the comments have you ever ever in your life in got what you needed done and out in an hour no never never two hours maybe maybe my typical dmv visit is like two and a half hours yeah and it's i mean that is that doesn't sound like a lot in terms of a day like that is a significant amount of time oh you can't plan meetings. No. Your day is a DMV. Significant time blocked off. Last time I went to the DMV, they said, go to a different one. I said, hey, no.

Starting point is 00:47:29 Like, I'm already here. I'm not leaving, bro. It's like, no, not at all. Oh my God. And the amount of, and again, I get it, but how many times do I have to prove I'm me? You have my water bill. You have my diploma.

Starting point is 00:47:45 You have my literal license from y'all, but now because the date's off, it's not valid? Bro, I honestly think- Have you ever thought about that? What type of shit sense does that make? It's like I'm not me anymore? I'm not me because it's expired? Yeah. That's why I'm here is to get a new one.

Starting point is 00:48:01 This is me. Look. What the hell? I'm not going to lie though, Cam. You got to change your ID photo. No, my ID picture is bad. Dude, it looks like... I don't have a single hair on my face.

Starting point is 00:48:11 Yeah, it's like... With that picture... And that might be too far. And it might be. Merry Christmas. I got it. Oh, yeah. No, I have to.

Starting point is 00:48:28 But what the hell was that? What are you about to touch? What are you about to touch? What are you going to say? What are you touching on me? You reached from six feet away. You said, I can't know. What?

Starting point is 00:48:40 What? You're an asshole. Is he about to shit himself? He ran holding his butt. I pray to God this stays in. Peyton just got up, didn't say a single word, cupped his bung, and sprinted out of our studio. Dog, did he almost shit himself.

Starting point is 00:49:11 In the history of this podcast, I've never seen him do that. The You Should Know Podcast. Your local Benjamin Moore retailer is more than a paint expert. They're someone with paint in their soul. A sixth sense honed over decades. And if you have a question about paint, it's almost as if they can read your mind. I sense you need a two-inch angle brush for the trim in your family room, regal select in an eggshell finish, and directions to the post office.

Starting point is 00:49:43 Benjamin Moore paint is only sold at locally owned stores. Benjamin Moore. See the love. Okay. All right. You are absolutely not going to say another word on this episode until you explain to the world what you just did. Okay.

Starting point is 00:49:57 It's bad. With 100% truth. Okay. Last night, right? What's my least favorite kind of type of food? Pasta. And what did I get last night? Now, why would you do that don't know it looked good on the door dash you got pasta last night yeah spaghetti knowing your lactose and knowing noodles make you gag what does lactose have to do with noodles

Starting point is 00:50:16 the sauces what kind of sauce you get marinara never mind it was spaghetti with giant meatball was the name of the meal. Giant meatball? It was the fattest meatball in the world. It was just sitting on top of it. Oh. And I waited like three hours to eat it. I ordered it and I was working. You know how I get when I work?

Starting point is 00:50:36 I'm literally like so locked in. And it was just sitting there. And then I was like, oh, I am starving. And then so I started eating a cold pasta. And then literally 30 minutes after, the worst case of bubble guts, it's like you're pouring a gallon water bottle out of my bung straight into the toilet. And then. Oh, I know those stink like hell.

Starting point is 00:50:55 Yeah, and then so I had to go to Target to get these, right? And so I went to Target and I was like Sprite helps me calm down my tum tums. So I got a Sprite and then i was walking past the chip aisle and i was like a good chip would help settle me too but i got the wrong chip what'd you get you should have got like lays talkies so your stomach's already on tens and you decide to give it fire yeah and so then i showered cleaned my butt and i laid in my bed, chugged the Sprite, and I got the big Sprite, too, like the gallon, or like the liter one, and then I ate a family-sized Takis all while watching Ozark, and then I went immediately to sleep because the spice was so bad, and then I woke up,

Starting point is 00:51:36 and it felt like there was a brick in my stomach, and so I woke up this morning violently defecated and then i've come here i came in here had a coffee and so i and then that's why this quick spurt of energy i was like oh something just happened and i was gonna fight through it but you called me out and then i felt a little gush in the tush wait did you no no not that i could tell it's dimly lit in that bathroom so i couldn't really tell if you start getting a little smell, that's my anus. I think you'd be able to tell off feel, not even sight. No, no. Is your ass currently wet?

Starting point is 00:52:12 Oh, it could be sweat or defecation. Oh, no. There's different wets. Not with me. One's going to feel like mud, and one feels like it's been a hot day. Yeah, but then you've got to get to the bed of hair. you need you need i i give you permission from now on when you go through those moments to call me for guidance i don't like talking when i poop you call me a lot when i don't answer not during your shit say hey my stomach's in hell right now what should i get and i'll direct you

Starting point is 00:52:43 oh you need a life partner no you're bad that doesn't allow you to buy a two liter of Sprite and a family size Takis when you're already shitting on yourself. The Sprite was a good move. It helped calm the Taksa. Two liters is not. Too much. Way too much. Overcompensation.

Starting point is 00:52:55 High, high overcompensation. And then Takis. My stomach's fucked up. Let's throw some fizz in there and then some fire on top. See if it fixes it. Let's talk about something going on in the world. you seen this what have i seen what you said let's let's talk about something going on in the world have you seen it what what are you asking me have you seen the your nose just turned green when you say that it turns yellow and green like you're cruised i think

Starting point is 00:53:22 you're colorblind i'm not cockeyed or colorblind. Your shit was yellow. Dude, you are cockeyed and bold. No, I'm not. If you were a dog, they would have put you down. If you were a racing horse, they would have taken you out. Old yeller style. Back of the barn. Inhumane.

Starting point is 00:53:39 But I'm not. Oh, I can't say that. Very humane because I am humane. Maybe Patreon. I could tell what my dad's co-worker did one time. He's in jail now for it, but it happened. Just know it involves a lot of tarp. Nope, let's wait on Patreon.

Starting point is 00:53:51 A lot of tarp in the house. In the house? And a pillow. Not funny. But he got his... Stop it! He got his curmudgeons. He's in jail.

Starting point is 00:54:06 Holy shit. it's okay we'll talk about later have you kind of have you seen this right have y'all seen the drones that have just been infiltrating the sky in america yes bro have insane insanely creepy scary not creepy at all to be honest so cool why do you think that see that's the type of shit pisses me off about you there's like not necessarily tragedies but there's shit that could go south you're like dude this is raw because what are we sick what are we supposed to do be afraid of what there's drones in the sky that's that is so cool what do you there's no kill streaks this isn't call of duty this real life. There's drones in the sky. And the fact that there's festive drones.

Starting point is 00:54:47 No, they're not festive. There's like sphere ones that are just roaming around in the sky making light. Aliens, corrupt government. No matter what it is, it could be scary and bad for us. Okay, watch this though. Did you already know prior to you knowing about the drones, did you know there's already aliens? I don't fully know. I would assume, but I don't fully know.

Starting point is 00:55:06 Yes or no, did you know the government's already corrupt? 100%. So what's the big hoopla? Because now we're seeing it. Yeah. Now we're seeing it in front of our eyes. Yeah, that's like your favorite character in a TV show. You already knew he was going to get caught.

Starting point is 00:55:16 That's Mike Ross in suits. You knew he was going to get caught, but when he got caught- It was sad. It was cool, though. Now we get to see what's about to happen. No, it's not. Why do you think this is cool? Because, bro about it it's not it's not another country infiltrating us you know that you know the u.s government if that was another country that would have been

Starting point is 00:55:32 sawdust in the sky by now you gotta know it's definitely the aliens one of the aliens in the ocean got loose why are we not taking it down because we haven't found him we're letting godzilla sit in a sphere up in the sky. We're just letting him fester. No, the aliens aren't the drones. The aliens are somewhere in Michigan right now roaming around in a forest hiding. You think he's just running around? Yes.

Starting point is 00:55:53 Like a little guy. Yes. Just running around. And that's what those are up there trying to find him. This is my theory, right? This is my theory. The aliens are in the ocean. We've been on that.

Starting point is 00:56:01 I called that out a year ago. The drones were in the ocean monitoring these aliens. So they're waterproof. Water drones. You know what I mean? Shark boy and water drone. So they were down there watching it. One of the little aliens got loose and I'm headed to shore.

Starting point is 00:56:17 He said, where's Lilo? I'm running after him. He said, right out there. Right. Then we freaked out. Oops. We fucked up. One of the aliens are out.

Starting point is 00:56:25 Sitting them up. They just left Panama, Michigan. I don freaked out. Oops, we fucked up. One of the aliens are out. Setting them up. They just left Panama, Michigan. I don't know. What? They're heading towards 8 Mile. We got to protect Eminem. So then 10,000 drones just lifted out of the ocean. Frightening.

Starting point is 00:56:37 And there's just surveillance. We're trying to find this alien. Isn't that so cool knowing there's just an alien right now in somebody's backyard? Absolutely not. What if it was in your backyard? How cool would it be then? If it was in blankety blank, you know your address. If you just looked outside and he was just like this.

Starting point is 00:56:53 He was like, and just pointed at you. What would you do? What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for,

Starting point is 00:57:15 Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. You would point back to him? I'd be like, what's your name?

Starting point is 00:57:32 If an alien was in your backyard, you're going to ask him his name. Kim, if I have an alien in my backyard. Your time's done. No, that's my buddy. We're running the world together. You would open your door i mean you'd open your door for an alien i'm his agent at this one i'm taking 10 of everything he owns go ahead next week we're gonna get you on new york times all right you gotta say something

Starting point is 00:57:54 we're gonna get your pr train don't worry he's just like do you know how many tiktoks i'm gonna Give me head. He's sitting there. Wet. He's like, mom. He's a freeze. Bro, that's going to be so sick. Okay, drone. You think these drones are so cool? They're on the East Coast.

Starting point is 00:58:18 What if they were in Dallas? What if there was a drone above your neighborhood? I'm getting high. And it was sitting there. Cam, I'm getting high as a kite laying on my balcony watching the drone show. See, you don't have enough fear. You don't respect the unknown. You don't at all.

Starting point is 00:58:35 You're a freak. Because what else am I supposed to do? Cower away? You don't have to go tuck your tail and get in a corner and beat yourself to sleep. But you can't just sit there and not be afraid of it i'm literally gonna be like oh damn one of the drones is outside my house do i still got them talking see now that's now that's you're okay i don't do this shit keeps me up at night why bro because it's not it's i need to know and that might be an ego thing but i need

Starting point is 00:58:59 to understand a man you're just like dude yeah you got fireworks up there! Give us the show, man! That's you. Bro, and imagine you become friends with one of the drones. We already have drones that deliver double quarter pounders. Now I got a personal one. See, but those are cute. They give them big googly eyes and small wheels with spinners on them. You saw whenever we were in West Hollywood and they had the drone going across. I was trying to ride that,

Starting point is 00:59:20 John. I wanted to leash it and take it back to the hotel. He was like, please get off. He just kept going. He was like, do you know where this hotel is he just kept walking bro that's so fun homeless man had him on a leash he was like let me go let me go let me go he's in there bro that's not imagine imagine imagine a drone coming down and just picking up ruby at the backyard ruby's flying now. She's always wanted wings. I'd be...

Starting point is 00:59:48 A winged Ruby. I would be dehydrated from crying for four days straight. A robot invasion took my princess against my will, and I could do nothing about it. Poor Ruby. Ruby cries too much if her favorite person walks in. Imagine if she got sucked into a vortex up in the sky. They took her ass, gutted her like a pig, dissected her, and said,

Starting point is 01:00:13 hmm, this is what they have on that planet? Poor, poor Ruby. But that's using Ruby for the greater good. The greater good. Yes, at least she went out, like, honorably. There's no honor in that. She's probably, like, wiggling and shit. She's going up, like.

Starting point is 01:00:27 You know how she's sprawled? She's winged. She goes. And her tail's going. Oh, my God. That's sad. Okay, say. What if they took you?

Starting point is 01:00:36 Where are we going? They're taking you up to their ship. You think it's all cool and dandy. You walk in. They got a cigar. They got DraftKings on a TV. Oh, my God. I'm lit.

Starting point is 01:00:44 And you go, oh, I'm here. And they got draft kings on a tv oh my god you go oh i'm here and they go yeah you are and then you wake up different planet can't breathe that'd be so cool see you're pissing me off it's like it's like you're doing the cool guy thing this reminds me of middle school when people would listen to underground rappers just to say they could no you don't like that i'm not trying to impress a damn soul. I just genuinely, everybody looks at something as fear. I'm looking at something like, how can I utilize that for my greater good? How can I capitalize off of the drones? First thing I'm doing is there's a drone over my house.

Starting point is 01:01:13 I'm going to Academy getting a big fishing net. I'm going to try to grab that thing. Now, once you're in my four walls, you belong to me. That's not how that works. How so not? If you took, first off, what fishing net are you going to buy that's not how that works how so not if you took first off what fishing net are you gonna buy that can get in the sky and get an orb that's just floating these things are like 100 feet in the sky they're not super up there they're not like plane height they're like right

Starting point is 01:01:36 above us that's even worse payton that means it's accessible gimme gimme mine mine your robot your mind accessible gimme gimme my mind, mine. New robot. Your mind. Accessible. Gimme, gimme. My mind. Imminent danger. Immediate threat can pounce and attack as soon as the leader demands it. Okay. Why? Okay.

Starting point is 01:01:51 What are you going to do being afraid of it? What are you going to do? What if it came and said, hey, I'm going to kill you? It can talk? You're the one that said it could come down and you'd be best of friends with it. No, I'd just utilize it. It would be like Megan Fox in that new movie. I might. Hey, y'all seen that movie what's it called oh my god hey i would have folded

Starting point is 01:02:11 too where can i buy one of those robots i don't care i don't care you know the worst part huh she has a uv cleaner for her mouth yeah but she doesn't eat food so that she knew she was getting down the whole time she said i have a thing that cleans my mouth i don't have to brush my teeth well she doesn't eat food what else can go on her grill oh my god no no okay honestly y'all all saw that movie what's it called again it's like sub surveillance something like that okay there's a movie where megan fox is this robot, and she's literally used. It's like this species of AI that has come out.

Starting point is 01:02:50 It's like the most intelligent AI. It's like a person, but it's just there for human need, right? That's the finest robot I've ever seen. Like, are you kidding me? I'm never talking to a human woman again. Okay. Let's play the game, though. Let's play the game.

Starting point is 01:03:05 How bad do you want the robot? So bad. Have you seen that movie where she blindfolded me? I'm going to start at a price point. You've got to tell me what it has to get to before you buy it.

Starting point is 01:03:13 I'm taking out a loan. Three M's. I can't. I genuinely can't. Two M's. I can't. One M. I can't.

Starting point is 01:03:20 I don't have that much money. $800,000. I don't have that much money. $500,000. I don't have that much money. I can't. I don't have that much money. $800,000. I don't have that much money. $500,000. I don't have that much money. So. I don't. Five.

Starting point is 01:03:31 So you don't even want it that bad. I can't afford it. Give me something I can afford. If they drop $100,000 in Texas, only $100,000 of Megan Fox's can be bought in Texas. I can't afford it. If I can't afford it, I can't afford it. You just. He's the one that said he'd take out a loan.

Starting point is 01:03:44 Not me. Okay, but I can't take out a loan for three M's. Okay, let's say they're $800,000. I'll take out a loan. You would take out a loan? Yeah, so we're going on tour every day. And she's coming with. You go, Ohio, fourth night in a row, let's do this!

Starting point is 01:03:59 There's like one guy, he's like, shut the fuck up! We're making a $20,000 Patreon tier, and you can lay with me in bed. I don't care. I'm getting that money back. They're going to be like, hey, Peyton, I just thank you for being here. You're just like, shut up. All right, Megan. Dude, Cam, I can't ask you.

Starting point is 01:04:20 Ask me so I can ask you. Okay, say they were like $30,000. Like, it's expensive, but it's like a car. Okay. It they were like $30,000. Like it's expensive, but it's like a car. Okay. It's just like a little Megan Fox when you buy. You and Liv and your son

Starting point is 01:04:31 in the house, it's heavy. It's like, it's a lot. Nope. Do you have a bad kid cries too much, big back like you,

Starting point is 01:04:37 just like it's dead, eats too much, you're tired, you got a podcast, you got a tour. Are you buying one? I am buying one and it's going to be a man.

Starting point is 01:04:46 It's going to be a man it's gonna be a man now granted in the movie she said the female ones are better for the kids so maybe i buy a woman but i buy like the old grandma woman one that's not for personal reasons that is not for personal reasons i'm saying i'm gonna cover all my bases check all the boxes no temptation now what is mine gonna look yours is going to be megan fox she's gonna be standing there okay and she's like why did you pick my uh why did you pick my serial number style robot you don't even have children you go not yet and you just look at she goes what is that and you go upstairs okay genuinely would you be creeped out because i'm dead ass i think you need a robot but listen i'm dead ass if though if a megan fox ai robot was available and i'm not making jokes i would marry that like i would

Starting point is 01:05:37 genuinely that might be inhumane or weird and y'all can very much cancel me if you want to why i'm that's what i like i identify as liking ai sorry cancel me now i want that thing and i'm gonna marry that now if i'm being genuine dead ass like i fall in love with this thing because it's it loves me i love it it's beautiful it's there it takes care of me everything it's oh man perfect now imagine i'm dead ass i come up to you one day i'm like cam you remember that AI Megan Fox robot I bought? Yeah. It's like,

Starting point is 01:06:08 I genuinely like coming to you as a brother. Okay. I love her. Why? What is wrong with you? She's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Okay. Robot looks good.

Starting point is 01:06:18 She's kind. Okay. She's caring. That's nice. She's efficient. You need all those. And she's loyal. What do you mean by efficient?

Starting point is 01:06:25 I go, what do you mean by efficient? She's loyal. That's nice. She's efficient. You need all those. And she's loyal. What do you mean by efficient? I go, what do you mean by efficient? She's loyal? Yes. Because her whole sole purpose in the movie was to help fulfill her needs. Okay. Does she push you to be a better person? Don't need that. I love her, though.

Starting point is 01:06:40 Cam, I love her. Okay, what do you want to do? What's the next step if you love her? I think I'm going to marry her. You're going to marry a robot? I'm going to marry her You're going to marry a robot I'm going to propose You're going to marry A mass produced creature

Starting point is 01:06:48 Yes I'm going to propose to her You're going to propose To a robot Yes Just buy a ring And put it on her Grippy little fingers Yeah but I love her

Starting point is 01:06:56 And she deserves a great A great time She doesn't have feelings But I have feelings for her And I But I want this too Like I've always wanted A picture perfect

Starting point is 01:07:04 Like This is where I lean in And I go honestly bro I'm proud of you But then I want this too. I've always wanted a picture perfect. This is where I lean in and I go, honestly, bro, I'm proud of you. But then I lean in and we come right here and we're super close and I'm on your neck and I go like this, you're too far gone. And then I go, hey, I'll get you help.

Starting point is 01:07:16 Blink twice. And then you would look and you'd be like. So you wouldn't be happy? Genuinely. You would not, but I'm happy. You know you haven't seen me happy in a relationship in years. That's like you saying, Cam. You know not, but I'm happy. You know you haven't seen me happy in a relationship in years. That's like you saying, Cam.

Starting point is 01:07:28 You know, the other day I was out and I found this porcupine. Yeah. And this porcupine, it's loyal. It's efficient. It loves me. It cares for me. And it takes care of me. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:40 I think I'm going to marry the porcupine. You'd get shot with a tranquilizer dart. That's different. That's bestiality. And this is porcupine. You're going to be both of me. I think I'm going to marry the porcupine. You'd get shot with a tranquilizer. That's different. That's bestiality. And this is porcupine. You're going to be both of those. This is robotality. That's not illegal. You bought...

Starting point is 01:07:53 Alright. Alright. No, if I was letting other people and taking a commission, that's really illegal. That's literally illegal. What would you name your robot? No! I didn't mean name your robot? No! I didn't mean to say it! No, no, no!

Starting point is 01:08:14 That's the voice for it. Yeah, you know they can like change it. Oh my god! No! Oh! Please, Elon. Make one. I miss her.

Starting point is 01:08:24 That would be something. Holy shit. Oh, my. Okay. What were you going to say? I'm just saying it genuinely upsets me that you wouldn't be. Because I'm dead ass. What do you want me to do?

Starting point is 01:08:36 You want to go pick out her gown for her? She doesn't have family. She doesn't have friends. Are you going to be my best man? Yes. Okay, so prepare the goddamn bachelor party like you're supposed to. Okay, guess what? Where is she going to be when we're on the bachelor party? On a wireless charger? She's

Starting point is 01:08:49 leaned up on the wall. We're shooting dice, sipping beers, lighting a cigar, and she's plugged into a USB-C port. No, your wife's going to take her on a bachelorette trip. Oh, now you've crossed the line. My wife would... Liv? Liv with a robot woman. Does Liv love me? Liv would be like, bitch, what are you looking at? And she'd be like, I don't understand why you hate me a robot woman does live love be like bitch what

Starting point is 01:09:05 you looking at and she'd be like i don't understand why you hate me so much live like does live love me yes does she want me to be happy yeah does she want me to get married yes does she want me to to find love yes okay and i found it take her to nashville or wherever girls go for bachelor's wear one of the cool cowboy hats and do a little beer trolley. Put a little short skirt on her, get a little beer trolley. She's going to be like, spit it out or drain it. She can't even. You did it.

Starting point is 01:09:33 I was talking about an actual plug because she's not real. That's so offensive. No, it's not. You're offensive. You're offending me. How about that? Okay, then if I marry a real woman, you're not coming to the wedding. No, bullshit.

Starting point is 01:09:44 You're not. Yes, I am. It's my goddamn wedding. No, it're not coming to the wedding. No bullshit. You're not. Yes, I am. It's my goddamn wedding. No, it's not. I go, it's mine. I've been planning. No, I'm kidding. I would, I will support you.

Starting point is 01:09:51 I will plan the party. I will play your parties and be nuts. I'll plan the party. Nuts. Plan the party. I'll take care of the cyborg lady. You know what sucks? And that's all I can give you, buddy.

Starting point is 01:10:04 I'm never going to have that. Yes, you are. I'm never going I can give you, buddy. I'm never going to have that. Yes, you are. I'm never going to get married. Shut up. I'm never going to have a bachelor party. Shut up. Okay, say I'm like 43. And I still haven't found it, right?

Starting point is 01:10:12 Okay. I'm in the same position I am right now. Technically, you'd be 13 years into something. I didn't. Thank you guys for coming. No, okay. Say I'm 43, right? Okay.

Starting point is 01:10:30 Still haven't found nothing. I'm lonely. I'm sad. Okay. And I'm like, dude, Cam, it's just looking at it, it's not going to happen for me. I would conduct a 1,000 versus 1 to honor you in your name. Ew, no. Okay, never mind.

Starting point is 01:10:43 No, I'm like, Cam, can we just, like, I just want the experience. What the hell are you about to say? Like, can we have a bachelor party for me? Oh, yeah. Just the boys. Hell yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:59 And then we, and then like, but it doesn't stop there. Like, I want a wedding too. Okay, I got you. But like, there's no woman. Like, I want a wedding, too. Okay. I got you. But, like, there's no woman. Like, the left side of the aisle is completely empty. No people in those seats. Nobody's standing.

Starting point is 01:11:13 Your family, your friends right there, you're just standing up there with, like, a regular pastor. He's just like, uh, today we can read from the book of Job. Would you do it? Yeah. But would you make fun of me? Yes. No, that's not right. But like, I'm genuinely 43 and sad.

Starting point is 01:11:32 After all, yes, I would make fun of you because that is our relationship. No, but okay. I'd literally be there in the moment. It'd be fantastic. And then when we're drunk later that night, I'd be like, mother, you just had a wedding for yourself.

Starting point is 01:11:46 That's so wrong. I'm going to be like, mother, you just had a wedding for yourself. That's so wrong. I'm going to be like, are you kidding me? That's evil. You're going to be in your tux. You're going to be like, you got your ring on. I go, give me that shit. Okay, say there's a wedding, the one-sided wedding, right? I still want the full wedding.

Starting point is 01:12:00 You have to give a best man speech. Go. I go, I go, uh. You know, Peyton's a hell of a guy everybody you just sit there you're crying I go you know I've loved him ever since I've met him and um he's stepping into this next phase of life it's it's gonna be an interesting one he's you know he's 43 he's finally getting shit to shake in this wedding. We just really appreciate you being here to support Peyton and Peyton. And this thing's great. I can't wait to see what's next for him.

Starting point is 01:12:34 Why aren't you crying, Cam? Oh, because there's no one to cry over. This is like a regular Saturday night, but you made everyone dress up for him when you had him spend money on plane tickets. We're in Aruba celebrating nothing because you're sad. The thing is, it sucks. It's going to happen. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 01:12:52 Your nephew, our son's in the background. He's like, what the fuck? He's like, I've never seen this. Okay. Would you take it seriously in the moment, though? Yes. During the whole ceremony. I'm putting a fake ring on air.

Starting point is 01:13:04 Yes. I kiss the air and I'm walking down the aisle with the air after would you cheer and stand up yes thank you now that would be this little rat back here is laughing i don't like it cj would be stimming out he'd be like i wonder if she's gonna fall like do i need to grab her train is her dress good oh shit that's funny okay god that was a great ai talk oh my god that was that was nuts bro okay okay you know i thought of this i don't know what you said it was like 10 minutes ago you said something that made me think of this though i love when you think i uh okay just role play right just real quick if we not like that no no no no no no, no, no, no. No, I need a nurse. I'm just kidding. If we, if we did, if we did like a giveaway or something, typically what would it be?

Starting point is 01:13:49 Like merch? Like merch, an experience, maybe like, if it was like a good one or something like a, like a personal like hangout or something like that. Yeah, something signed, something. Okay. When I tell you I was on Instagram and this is all, and I'm not kidding, this is one giveaway. Okay. Giveaway from who?

Starting point is 01:14:05 An influencer partnered with, I'm going to just put you exactly how she says it. We had the blessing to partner with a couple of companies this year, and we're going to give one lucky person some of these incredible gifts. Nice. So this is a giveaway for one person. If they win, they get everything i'm about to say nice okay a peloton treadmill expensive iphone 16 pro max macbook air laptop ugg slippers king christmas tree a veer all-terrain wagon a eight foot giant size nutcracker 4k portable monitor with touchscreen heated eye massager a roamer

Starting point is 01:14:46 juni car seat aroma stroller forever french holiday pajamas a brewmate 40 ounce tumbler photo a photo backdrop tile a collection of blankets a nugget ice, a Dyson cordless vacuum, an Ember temperature control smart mug, a Dyson Airwrap, Skillmatics games, Apple Airpods, a Breville espresso machine, a Canon Powershot G7 and Mark II camera, and an Aura smart ring generation 4. What the f*** giveaway is that? That's, hey, we're here to save a soul. Yeah. That is the craziest giveaway I have ever...

Starting point is 01:15:34 You're like, let me enter. I was going to say, I don't know if we're supposed to crack on it, but I want to enter that. Bro, could you imagine winning that? I'm dead. Let me, send me that. And they literally give you a Peloton treadmill alone.

Starting point is 01:15:48 That's enough. That's like $3,000. Yeah, that's enough. That is so. That's like a $100,000 giveaway right there. iPhone 16 Pro Max, Apple AirPod Max, Dyson AirWrap, Dyson cordless vacuum, a portable 4K monitor. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:01 A Canon Q set. It's like, you're feeling out of home here yeah that's literally like hey this i'm making your life not your day not your year i'm kind of mad that you read that because our giveaway for patreon is going to be shit now like we're giving away signed merch no that's that our giveaway is going to be fantastic yeah that is that is overkill to the definition that's insane who is that it's literally look at this is it a company or a person this is just the screenshot that's her name but she put like this i guess she partnered with all those things and that she's giving it all the way to one person why not show some love by liking

Starting point is 01:16:38 and saving it for later in the comments let me know what is your favorite movie of all time you have to put your favorite movie and you got to follow every, every account that that account's following, which is only 28 people. That's it. Let me, you're going to end. No,

Starting point is 01:16:52 you end up winning this. That'd be the funniest thing. No, I'm going to, I'm going to call it. This has to be a, and they have like 18 kids. Who?

Starting point is 01:17:01 This person. Oh my God. Oh my God. No, it's really, they have all the items in front of them. No, they don't. Show me the picture. No.

Starting point is 01:17:10 They have all the items. Stroller, Ugg slippers, pictures, foil fun. There's a VR thing, an eight-foot nutcracker, a big-ass tree, Peloton treadmill, Dyson Airwrap, AirPods, two tumblers let me see it dog what on earth this is the best giveaway

Starting point is 01:17:29 of all time did you just follow them oh they have 1.5 million on Instagram what do they do I don't know and they have a rack of kids

Starting point is 01:17:37 god they go she got a 7 pack lay down holy moly yeah I literally saw that and I was like

Starting point is 01:17:44 that's like that is is, that's unreal. Now I'm pocket watching. The house is nice. The house is nice. Pocket watch. They are rich as shit. Pocket watch. Link tree.

Starting point is 01:17:58 I don't know, there's some funny money going on around here. There's some funny business. Shout out to Alyssa. Yeah, I don't, it's nuts. It's absolutely nuts. The best thing I could give away is my ass. I'd be like,

Starting point is 01:18:09 who wants a bite of this ass? Ten screenshots, you get a bite of this ass. Like, comment, subscribe for a bite of this ass. David Dobrik puts Teslas on his story. I'm like, here's my ass. Who wants this stretch-marked ass with a little bit of fur on it?

Starting point is 01:18:28 Repost. You get this ass. Make sure you follow who I'm following if you want a bite of this ass. You want a Peloton or a bite of this ass? You want an Apple AirPods or a bite of this ass? How about an Apple iPhone 16 or a

Starting point is 01:18:42 bite of this ass? Make sure you just gotta follow, like, and tell me your favorite movie if you want a chance to win. a bite of this ass. Make sure you just gotta follow, like, and tell me your favorite movie if you want a chance to win. A bite of this ass. I'm not gonna lie, what's a

Starting point is 01:18:51 Oh my god. How much would you I would never enter that competition. How much would you spend on a raffle ticket for a bite of this ass? I'd never buy one.

Starting point is 01:18:58 I would never buy one. You just told me you pooped a gallon of liquid today. This morning. Yeah. No, I'm light right now.

Starting point is 01:19:05 I'm light on my feet. You go, I'm agile. I'm quick. I think it's affecting my ankles because they're popping extra loud today. Oh, my God. You are click-clacking. It's like the fluid is out. You're very clickety-clack.

Starting point is 01:19:14 Okay. It's only right. We do all the riddles. We do all the quizzes. Yes. Are you ready? No. To put your thinking cap on, you cute little Christmas tree elf.

Starting point is 01:19:23 And we're going to do a Christmas quiz. Santa, Jesus Christ, January 25th, the Garden of Eden. I didn't think it was that funny. What did I say? What did I do? Did I mistake? What did I say? Did I say?

Starting point is 01:19:41 You said January 25th. It's December. You said the Garden of Eden. It's Bethlehem. Oh, palace. What? What? It's in London.

Starting point is 01:19:53 I love Christ. I promise you. Me and him have a good relationship. Shouldn't have bit that apple, shouldn't you? Oh, no. No, no? Oh, no, no. Too far?

Starting point is 01:20:02 Yep. Sorry. I hate to. Love you, Jesus. Over the line. You jumped over it. You spat on the line. You jumped back and jumped again. Yeah, Santa. Oh, no, no. Too far? Yep. Sorry. Way too. Love you, Chiefs. Over the line. You jumped over it. You spat on the line. You jumped back and jumped again.

Starting point is 01:20:07 Yeah, Santa. I saw a black Santa the other day. He was that. He was a little... The You Should Know Podcast. Truck Month is on at Chevrolet. Get 0% financing for up to 72 months on a 2025 Silverado 1500 Custom Blackout or Custom Trail Boss. With Custom Trail Bosses available, class-exclusive Duramax 3-liter diesel engine

Starting point is 01:20:28 and Z71 off-road package with a 2-inch factory suspension lift, you get both on-road confidence and off-road capability. Dirt road ahead? Let's go! Truck month is awesome! Ask your Chevrolet dealer for details. Here we go. So we are doing, of course, the one, the only, the Christmas trivia quiz. Let's do it.

Starting point is 01:20:50 We're going to have some trivia questions about the good old holly jolly season and fa la la la la. Here we go. We are getting straight into it. Okay. Which popular Christmas beverage is also called milk punch? Eggnog. Eggnog.

Starting point is 01:21:03 It's easy. It gets easy, then it gets hard. Just like me. I'm real easy and real stiff. How many ghosts show up in a Christmas carol? What? How many ghosts show up in a Christmas carol? I didn't know there was ghosts in singing.

Starting point is 01:21:21 There's singing ghosts out here? And we're worried about the drones? They're hitting the high notes. They're just like... They're singing Ghost out here? And we're worried about the drones? They're hitting the high notes. They're just like... They're just breathing. That's like an ambiance. How many ghosts show up in a Christmas carol? Twelve.

Starting point is 01:21:35 No. Division. Excuse me? Use division. Two. Division the band? No. They died?

Starting point is 01:21:41 No, no. Use division on twelve. Dividing by what? Two? Take a guess take a guess one more three what's the answer three six nine four what three six nine four four ghosts yes there's four ghosts it's talking about the movie you idiot not an actual could it come to your door there's a movie called the christmas carol holy shit how's that supposed to know that it might be a white movie it might be a white movie. It might be a white movie. Most Christmas movies are.

Starting point is 01:22:06 Okay, here we go. What are the two most popular names for Santa Claus? Saint Nick. That's one. One of two is correct. Santa? The other one sounds a little clannish.

Starting point is 01:22:16 I'm not going to lie. Oh. A little questionable. Grand Santa? No. Grand. Grandmaster Santa. Okay.

Starting point is 01:22:31 Saint Nicholas. Saint Nick and? Santa. We're going to do our speed round. This is how you always get good answers. Ready? Saint Nick and? Lucifer.

Starting point is 01:22:40 Oh, no. What? Saint Nick and? Chris Kringle. Who the f*** is Chris? Oh, no. St. Nick and... Kris Kringle. Who the f*** is Kris? Both K's are capitalized, but the St. Nick isn't. Krispy Kris Kringle.

Starting point is 01:22:56 Krispy Kreme Kringle. Yeah, I've never heard of Kris Kringle, ever. That's a CJ's Christmas. That's who they got hanging around. That is CJ's Christmas. Bunch of sheets in his house. They said, did Kris Kringle come through this year? Ooh, okay. What country did Eggnog

Starting point is 01:23:09 come from? Something white. Sweden? Ireland? Think OG white. Oh, England. There we go. There we go. Alright. What did Frosty the Snowman do when a magic hat was placed on his head? He got the kid, right?

Starting point is 01:23:27 Isn't that, or is that like the knockoff I watched in middle school? There was like an evil one. Yeah. He like, he'd somebody, right? Sorry, that's got to get muted. But he did bad things. Oh, I remember what you're talking about. What was it called?

Starting point is 01:23:42 I don't remember. It's like a meat candy. No. He began to just hit a little jig. Yeah. Oh. He began to dance. They put that hat on him.

Starting point is 01:23:50 He said, oh, oh. One of his buttons got loose. He said, oh. No, I didn't know that. He definitely did. You got to mute that. That's like the Tubi version. Oh. Assuming I got Tubi, huh? Oh, I know't know that. He definitely did. You got to mute that. That's like the Tubi version. I'm assuming I got Tubi, huh?

Starting point is 01:24:08 I know you got Tubi. I know you got Tubi. We are pushing lines this episode. Oh, man. What are you supposed to do when you find yourself under the mistletoe? Kiss somebody. There we go. Good morning.

Starting point is 01:24:19 Which one of Santa's reindeers have the... Oh. Did you see how bad I flinched you want to kiss oh oh which one of santa's reindeer have the same name as another holiday mascot not rudolph wait there's holiday mascots Valentine Valentine Cupid there you go there you go couple more here we go which country started the tradition of putting up a Christmas tree Germany Okay Wait Oh

Starting point is 01:25:05 Why'd you guess that Why'd you It's right though But why'd you guess I'm not saying it Wait Okay Speaking of the reindeer

Starting point is 01:25:13 Like if we were to guess Which one was the biggest thought Which reindeer had the biggest She was Going No which one was the biggest thought She was going downtown Not Rudolph

Starting point is 01:25:23 Oh no Rudolph had to do something To get that top spot. Wasn't Rudolph a guy? Oh, guys can be thots. Wait, I thought all reindeer were girls. Oh, it had to be...

Starting point is 01:25:34 Prancer. Probably Prancer. That's what I was going to say, too. Prancer just prancing all over the town. Going all around the town. Holy shit. What are the name of the town holy shit what are the name

Starting point is 01:25:45 of the main villain what's the name of the main villain in the nightmare before christmas freddy krueger no what it sounds like something you do with your nose now that is gonna be a crate okay it sounds like something that might come out of your nose booger now what's another name for it it's not no no think more of a kiddish name Boogie There you go, now add something that rhymes with that in the front Bitch, I big boogie I'm gonna piss myself Oh my god

Starting point is 01:26:24 Oh no Boogie, boy, I'll piss you, I'm gonna piss myself. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Boogie, boy, I'll piss you. Oh, I'm not your last. I'll make daddy smash quicker. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you say that? Big boogie, big boogie. He said, bitch, I'm big boogie.

Starting point is 01:26:44 Oogie boogie. Oogie boogie. Oh, never heard of that. Bitch, I'm big boogie boogie oh never heard of that bitch up boogie boys up bitches yellow mama oh my god dude I almost pissed I almost dripped a little drop if you know I'm saying we go little drop if you know what I'm saying. We go two more. If the world was ending, I wanna be next to Cam Wynn. I don't know why I like, I love your remixes of the songs.

Starting point is 01:27:21 I can't close my cheeks, they make me feel good i'd catch a good day for camp put my head on a blade for girl stop looking at me like that you know i'd do anything I would go through all this camp Put a bullet straight through my camp Yes, I would die for my Cam Wynn But Cam Wynn do the same I can't close my cheeks. It's like blushing, bro. Why am I like attracted to that?

Starting point is 01:28:04 If my Cam Wynn was on fire I can't close my cheeks, it's like blushing, bro. Why am I like attracted to that? No. If my camera was on fire. What the? Sorry. No, it's okay. It's okay. I got nervous. Why?

Starting point is 01:28:18 Dude, I couldn't stop smiling. You know there's people that think we kissed behind closed doors? I saw that. I read a fanfic about us. And I was like, why am I... We gotta end this. Ow!

Starting point is 01:28:34 Go down! We gotta end this episode. We gotta end this episode. Last one for the quiz. Last one. Alright, here we go. End on a dub. Here we go.

Starting point is 01:28:43 What is the highest grossing Christmas movie of all time? You know it. Come on. Polar Express? Nope. Elf? No. Home Alone?

Starting point is 01:28:50 Yes. Good job. Never seen it. Wasn't made for my demographic. Brother. Really wasn't. You've never seen Home Alone? No.

Starting point is 01:29:00 Macaulay. Macaulay. Wasn't he friends with Mike Jackson? In his prime. He was. Nice. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Starting point is 01:29:07 Michael Jackson makes good music. Great music. Doesn't make it anymore. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam.

Starting point is 01:29:15 I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam.

Starting point is 01:29:22 I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. I want Cam. Cam all night. I want Cam. Can't stay. Oh. Can't stay. We have to end this episode. I swear to God. We got.

Starting point is 01:29:36 Okay, this is getting too far. That all had to get cut out. Let's go to Patreon. Do not. Do not miss this week's Patreon. That's all I'm gonna say. Oh my God. If you're in the. If you're.

Starting point is 01:29:47 I'm gonna go take my pants off. I'm in the episode. Okay. I got you, TikTok. All right, just me, your favorite Christmas tree. I got you. Hey, he's losing contacts,

Starting point is 01:29:56 brain cells, but his mouth is slimy as ever. But it's your favorite Christmas tree. Anyway, we absolutely love y'all. Thank you for coming back to episode 144 the christmas episode we love you merry christmas happy holidays all the information you need to know is linked in the bio below uh koala club it is about that time it is almost here we are just we can we can feel

Starting point is 01:30:21 2025 we are right here at the cusp the The Koala Club, the Patreon is going to be completely new, completely jam-packed, and there's going to be multiple tiers, so much new content, and it's all going to be available for y'all at 2025. The link is down below. Go join right now. Don't miss out on anything. We absolutely love you. Confuse the casuals.

Starting point is 01:30:40 Get your good karma with this week's secret code. It's simple. MCE. Not the Marvel Cinematic Experience, but Merry Christmas, everyone. Honestly, any form of that will work. Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. Just spread some good joy and some good love this holiday season.

Starting point is 01:31:00 We hope you all enjoy Christmas. Have us on in the background so we can open gifts with you Wednesday morning. But we absolutely love y'all. I gotta get him out of here before something happens. We will see you all again next week. And remember, remember, what out of 10 koala bears? Don't make it home to Christmas. Pray for the koala

Starting point is 01:31:18 bears this Christmas. And we'll see you next time. I love those koala bears. We gotta find that one. We should take that drone down. We should use the drone for the koala bear. Yeah, I can see his thigh. I love those koala bears. We gotta find that one. We should take that drone down. No, we should take it down. We should use the drone for the koala bear. No, yeah, I can see his thigh. I can see all of his thigh.

Starting point is 01:31:29 Oh, my balls stink.

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