You Should Know Podcast - THE TAXIDERMY HOUSE CAT! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

LIVE SHOW TICKETS (TAMPA, Florida): https://www.rutheckerdhall.com/events/detail/you-should-know-podcast NAOMI (Merch Designer) : https://linktr.ee/xenagriffin?fbclid=PAAabJMosNTP1iXrU95jMJxoeAfVSs_lq36Jwpu16dii4xb1EiaB1uLtcKyuQ_aem_Af_R682HMd57KjpVvxYxG8GsaRr6IQEk7KGRCtOa9I2Y5D0VPuD9xFGWhbWeWtwpTeU Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 2024 Announced 2:36 MANSCAPED 4:07 CAM JOINS 5:00 Smelling in the New Year 9:17 POO with my Neighbor 12:25 Peyton’s INSANE Showers 14:36 ROCKETMONEY 16:19 Peyton Has Cams Naughty Pics 18:33 Pooped in the Shower 21:45 Embarrassing Sexytime Story 24:16 Squatty Potty 26:55 Cam Is a BAD FATHER 29:40 HEINEKEN 0.0 31:28 INSANE TAXIDERMY CAT STORY 40:42 Peyton’s Hilarious Fan Interactions 42:35 The Glass Fire Debate 46:48 Pepper spraying my dad 48:55 How do you vacation? 52:47 Peytons Lysol spray EXPOSED 56:59 DON’T SWALLOW 1:03:47 Gagging Each Other 1:05:08 DR.P (Long Distance Entanglement) 1:11:44 ANNOUNCEMENTS TODAYS SPONSORS: Manscaped: Manscaped.com Code: PSH HEINEKEN 0.0: https://bit.ly/YouShouldKnow00 ROCKETMONEY: ROCKETMONEY.COM/YSK YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R GRAB SOME MERCH: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by our friends at Factor. Make this your best season yet with nutritious two-minute meals from Factor. Eating well has never been this easy. Just heat it up and enjoy, giving you more time to do what you want. Cam, you know me, right? Yes, I do. Do I like cooking? No.

Do I like grocery shopping? No. Is it hard for me to eat healthy? Yes. Guess what's helped all that? Factor. Factor. They deliver meals to your literal doorstep doorstep in a box that says factor yes right and online you can pick what kind of meals they bring to you so i know there's going to be delicious cuisine in that box that i want that is healthy for me that is no prep there's no cleanup i pop

that john in the microwave i'm eating better it tastes good yummy tummy and it saves me a lot of money in time oh my god you're the time is impeccable factor powers your day with satisfying breakfasts on-the-go lunches premium dinners and guilt-free snacks and desserts it's easy to savor more this spring. Factor Meals, pack in the flavor with none of the fuss. Get started at factormeals.com slash YSK50OFF and use code YSK50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code YSK50OFF at factormeals.com slash YSK50OFF for 50% off plus free shipping. Now on to the rest of the episode.

It's truck month at GMC. Tackle the open road with added confidence in a 2025 Sierra 1500 Pro Graphite at 0% financing for up to 72 months. With an available 5.3 liter V8 engine, 20 inch high gloss black painted aluminum wheels, off-road suspension with available 2 inch factory installed lift kit, plus a towing capacity of up to 13,200 pounds. You'll be ready for anything this Truck Month. Truck Month is on now. Ask your GMC dealer for details.

It's a new year, but it's the same podcast you love. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast. First of 2024, episode 93. Round of applause. Please. Happy New Year, everybody. We are back. Oh, wow.

What a blessing it is. We survived another year. We have another year with the You Should Know Podcast family. I am so happy. I am so thankful for everybody that is bringing in this new year with the You Should Know Podcast. We love you so much. We want to just thank you for a fantastic 2023 it was a great year for the you should know podcast in 2023 let's all have a round of

applause for the 2023 of the you should know podcast it was a fantastic year fantastic year but we have so many great things planned for we have so many great things planned for 2024 i want to i want to say this goal out loud. Normally, we just have these goals internally as a team, but I want to say this out loud to the You Should Know Podcast family because y'all are in sole control of it. We want to hit 1 million subscribers in 2024. Let's do it together.

Let's all bond together as a group, as a unit, as a family, the You Shouldino family, and get 1 million subscribers in 2024. And in 2024, we're bringing more shows. We have Tampa, Florida on February 17th. And I want to let you know, it is almost sold out. Insane. Thank you so much. The whole bottom level is sold out. The top level, it's going to sell out in the next couple of days. So if you are in Florida and you want to come see the You Should Know podcast live the day after my birthday, I have a big birthday celebration with the whole team. Get those tickets. The link is in the description right now. And then we have Austin, Texas on March 1st. Those tickets are going to

be coming out in the next couple of weeks. Be sure to follow us on Instagram at PSHA, at CamKennedy22, and at YouShouldKnowPodcast. We love you so much. Happy New Year. I want everybody right now in the comments section to get your good karma. I want you to put your goals of 2024. And we are such a nice, great family that we will all hold each other accountable. And we will all motivate each other to accomplish our goals.

We can do it together. We love you so much. Thank you for coming back in 2024. Let's have a great year. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by Manscaped. Cheers to the new years from our friends at Manscaped

because your resolutions shouldn't be the only things that are well kept. And that's a factoid. 2024 is the time for new heights new opportunities and a new look for your time square balls manscapes lawnmower 5.0 ultra is every man's cheat code to look good feel good and turn the page on confidence this new year whether you're looking to maintain a trim or go for the clean-shaven look, this trimmer has you covered. Trusted by over 10 million men worldwide,

now is your time to get a grip on your grooming with our exclusive offer. Go to manscaped.com and use code PSH for 20% off and free shipping. Happy New Year or Happy New Balls. Introducing the MVP of 2024, Manscaped's 5th generation lawnmower. Peyton, this bad boy is equipped with two skin-safe blade heads. A standard one for taking a little off the top. Yeah! And a new foil blade to go smooth wherever you want to go.

So get 20% off and free shipping with the code psh and manscape.com because nothing says happy new year like a deal that leaves your balls and your budget feeling refreshed that's a fact embrace a new you and definitely embrace a new trimmer courtesy of manscape now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Oh! We got Co-host Cam back in the studio!

Happy 2024, Co-host Cam! New Year's same-ass! I went for a handshake to start the year out good. You dogged me. I'm not going to lie. You've come into 2024 smelling bad. Right before that button was clicked,

you were scratching your inner webbing for 12 seconds. Y'all want to hear it? It literally sounds like 40 grit sandpaper on a new countertop. Listen to this. Look at that sand. I don't know if that picked up, but why'd you sniff it, bro? And I stink. Your foot even fucked up.

Your foot literally just farted when you sat down. That's not the only thing that farted. Honestly, I've been having bad farts recently. We're not starting 2024 up like this. No. Last night, at the basketball game, when you farted in the car. I farted in the car? You farted in the car. I thoughted in the car? You farted in the car.

I thought I was getting hot boxed by beef stew. You farted in the car. It literally smelled like someone made a disgusting boil and then spilt the crock pot in my back. That's a great description. But, hey, guess what I did today? I'm starting 2024 of right. How are you starting 2024 of right? I washed my hair today.

You can't tell. Hey, no, you can. You did. But I put this nasty ass hat on, so it probably stinks again. Dude, I'm not going to lie. I don't know if I... It's a... What?

It was something that sounded better up here. Okay, I'll say it. We're all a family. That hat actually doesn't smell as bad as I thought it would. You smelled my hat? Yeah. What did you smell with my hat? The other day you were in your closet.

I was in your bathroom. You went in there to pick out a shirt. I picked the hat up, sniffed it. It's because it's brown as can be. It is. I mean, the hat is literally deteriorating. But I said, this shit's going to smell awful. It wasn't half bad.

Yeah. It's on my hair. Okay, hair, yeah. I'm not going to read it. It's clean. Yeah. Clean. Thank you.

It's clean. Thank you. I'm very ashy right now. But why? But why? Why? Why does it take a resolution for you to wash your scalp? I honestly didn't do it as a resolution.

I did it because I've been... So what happens with me, right? After our live shows, right? I get nasty after our live shows. Last live show was December 7th. Exactly. And normally I have like a bender. You know how after athletes win championships and normally i have like a bender you so like you know how like after um

athletes win championships and then they're like fat they get fat smoke stokes eat a drink that's take a month and a half off and then get back to it that's me every after every live show and so i just i've been feeling gross i look gross i haven't got a haircut i haven't been treating myself right and then i was like i should like should, like, we're back in, we're back in the season of prepping for the next live show, Tampa, Florida on February 17th. Tickets available now.

Almost sold out. Yeah, literally. Meet and greets are sold out. Sorry guys. I mean, but if you come to the after party, you're home,

that after party, I'm going to be, I'm going to be. Dude, our last after party, the LA after party was. Yeah, fantastic.

I have a feeling about this Tampa show, right? I can always tell about how the tickets were. We're going to drown. Oh, I told you about that dream I had. I have a feeling about this Tampa show, right? I can always tell by how the tickets move. We're going to drown. Oh. I told you about that dream I had. I told you about that dream. I don't need to say it today.

I had a weird dream that the place we were performing was literally connected to the ocean. Oh, yeah. And like the people, it was a dark dream. I must have watched a scary movie. I don't know. Basically, we had a fantastic show. We walked outside. We were all in a tsunami.

Anyway. See, stinky insides. But I have a feeling about this Tampa show that I feel like it's going to be the best show. We walked outside. We were all in the tsunami. Anyway, see you stinky insides. But I have a feeling about this Tampa show that I feel like it's going to be the best show. Based on how the tickets are moving. Better than New York? I feel like it has the opportunity to.

It has the opportunity to. Let's just set the record straight. There's no fibbing. There's no lying in 2024, right? What happened? We said LA was great. LA wasA. was great. L.A. was fantastic. We love y'all as a second home. New York is still on top.

Oh, I think we said that. We might have, but we might have covered it up. We might have been nice with it. You were. I was very honest. New York is still the city to beat, straight up. The New York show was out of this world. But the L.A. after party is the after party. After party list, LA, Dallas, then New York.

Show list, New York, Dallas, LA. He just spilled 1.3 fluid ounces of Monster. How was your week, Bubba? How are you feeling? How are you doing? Okay, so you already know. Well, hell, I don't know. I don't peg you as the guy that... Don't peg me.

Well, I've never pegged you. Let's not. Let's get that on air. I've never pegged you. I don't deem you as the man that makes goals and takes time to go New Year's resolution. I feel like you're the type of guy that's like, I got that willpower. If I want to do a goal, I'm going to stay inside. I'm going to do it.

Yeah. Okay, so I spent this week making some goals. Okay. I don't want to share them with you yet, but that's what i did with my so why do you speak because you asked me i would say you promoted my speech i would say 90 of the things used you and you 90 of the time you talk there's not much that's gained from everybody that listens my mom actually told me from a young age i have a lot of what she calls useless knowledge yeah you have the i can tell you exactly when julius caesar put in this law to build the aqueducts and get proper plumbing who asked for it who cares about it you remember do you remember

back in 2023 we're reflecting on 2023 i had a question about pipes right and in bathrooms and i said so there's just poop going down the wall and y'all killed me i get killed on the internet all the time i've been seeing those cool little videos you're welcome for making your rent um i see all y'all's videos making fun of me great get your content off of me um i know exactly what you're about to say and we were at your house yesterday we're all chilling in the living room and i heard heard a toilet flush, and I heard some shit moving. And I said, no one's in the bathroom right now, and here is your work. And I said, Cam, what was that noise, and what did you say to me?

I'm sitting there playing UFC 5, throwing some uppercuts. I was like, oh, someone just sent a shit, a turd down the wall. Yeah, it's not ideal. I'm not going to lie. That's the one gripe I have about sharing walls and apartments no matter how nice your apartment is our neighbor flushes and i can hear his fecal matter going down my dry wall yeah but i mean that's not it's not ideal it's not and it's so loud like it wasn't not it was like it was it was like it was the next door yeah it's not like a this little like it's it's like that you can hear every stage of it.

Like, oh, he clicked it. Here comes the draining of the water. There goes the turd. Here comes the refilling. It's like. I feel like if we were quiet enough, we would have been able to hear him go. Oh, yeah, we definitely could have heard a wipe or two. That's the most uncomfortable thing.

That's why I don't poop in public. People hearing my strains. I don't want anybody to hear that. And don't smell my excretion if we're not friends. That's such a weird animalistic thing. To hear my screeches? I don't want you to hear me poop. I don't want you to smell my poop.

Bro, my sphincter is open. I'll sit down in a mall, and you'd think I was at the beach in Normandy. I will literally be like... Sensitive times. I watched a D-Day movie the other day. think i was at the beach of normandy i will literally be like sensitive sensitive times i watched a d-day movie the other day that's a sad thing oh wait which one was it saving for ryan for the first time uh the first time all the way through i never got past that first scene as a kid bro when they stormed i was like bros picking up his arm and looking around i was

like oh it's a tough thing yeah saving for ryan's fantastic but since we're talking about plumbing we're talking about all this stuff you're talking about my nasty my nasty excretions right yeah i've been smelling horrid i've been smelling like and when i've been burping it smells like burnt tupperware like it's i i've been smelling absolutely awful that's such a specific it's like you could say that and I smell it. Yeah, it's horrible. That is a very specific smell. I smell like, what's it called? An assembly line at Ford F-150 whenever there is something that went wrong. That's what I smell like.

At Ford F-150. Not making a Ford F-150. At the building, Ford F-150. Right in the heart of Detroit. And so, that's where they make those? Detroit. And so, that's where they make those? Detroit Motor City. That's where they make those? That's like one of the first, if not.

That's where they make Dodge. Your tongue is purple. Your tongue's wide. You like it. You like the way it feels on you. You like my purple tongue. Okay, this is the thing. I shower, right?

I shower, right? I don't know if that's fair. I can't attest to that. Okay. I have to take your word as bond, but you've lied before. You've lied to me before. One of the things I've realized about myself. What happened?

I just had a disgusting thought. You naked in the shower doing something. Crazy thought. No, I know. No. Enjoying myself? No, no, no, no i know what no enjoying my i don't want to no no no no no wait what i just i i my mind immediately made me think of is he thoroughly cleaning himself oh yeah and i imagined you throwing that little right ball right up on that thing and just going to work that's a sick why am i saying this recently in the shower this might sound crazy this might be a TMI. I've never had a shower as big as I do now.

You've never had a shower with a bench in it either. No. I sat on the bench the other day, but my balls got cold. Oh, yeah. I didn't like that. You've got to sit to where they're hanging off the side. And I felt like my sphincter was collecting water. You shouldn't.

They're butt chugging bath water. Some suds. It might be good for your insides. I was too open for my bidet the other day, too. I started to cough. No, you go... You spit out a stream of water? If your body was that in tune,

if you were that open downstairs no i breathe close it i breathe all right i feel like if somebody that's why you can jump high that's why you're being careful what that's why you can run good why because you're getting double oxygen you're breathing through your lungs and your ass you're sitting there no i feel like if somebody were if i were to get kidnapped which is my top fear and somebody were to put tape over my mouth i could breathe fine i'd just be like so not because you have a nose i can't breathe out of my nose i can't i used to take exercises because my mom was like close your mouth that's a fact.

There's so many things wrong with you. Bro, there's so many things that could all pile up and add on to your sickness. P, hello. I don't know about you. I'm trying to go into 2024, clean wallet, and get rid of these dumb little subscriptions I don't even know I have. Bro, I'm not going to lie to you. 2023, I was drowning in subscriptions I didn't even know i ever signed up for i swear to god last month three gym memberships came out ask me how many gyms i go to probably just one i go to one the same one every day when did i get subscriptions but these other two gyms are

just slicing your pockets every single month another thing name any movie ever i can watch it i have a subscription to every streaming platform. Didn't know I signed up for those. How many streaming platforms do you actually watch? Let's see. One. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. Woo! Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and

cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills. I can see all of my subscriptions in one place and if i see something that i don't want i can cancel it with a tap i never have to get on the phone with customer service or weird people on the phone don't get you started i know do not do not start we know how it goes it's about to be 2024 if i call your business there better be a human being but we don't have to worry about anymore we have rocket money that's very true

rocket money has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year. Imagine that. Imagine an extra $720. I could take it. Just fold it, put it right in that pocket. I could take it. With over 500 million in canceled subscriptions. Stop wasting money on things that you don't use.

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com. That's RocketMoney.com. ysk that's rocket money.com slash ysk hey one more time for you rocket money.com slash ysk now on to the rest of the episode i feel like i might start a fire if i keep sitting like this i'm so dry and so hairy dude you're it's like i'm seeing a bit a little too much of the upper thigh right now. A little too, I'm seeing where the discoloration starts to kick in. I have a picture of you fresh out of the shower on my phone right now. Dog.

He's not lying. I'm not gonna lie, it was 2 a.m. yesterday. He's not lying. I was sitting on my couch, Johnny Walker. I was drunk. Just watching Peaky Blinders. And you pull out. And no, I was going on my phone.

My beautiful body. I was going on my phone. My beautiful body. I was going on my phone to just like look at something, but I never closed out the photo app. That's the first thing I saw, bro. And I took that joy mode too and it went down. Joy mode. Hello. Oh my God.

You have to delete that. Like you have to delete that. Oh, I thought you meant from the podcast. No, no. You have to delete that like you have to delete that oh i thought you meant from the podcast no no you have to delete that image off your phone do you want it do you want that picture before i delete it yeah oh okay that's a nasty screensaver imagine you like imagine a woman at a supermarket asks you for the time and you go right there and i'm literally just like this you look like a based turkey in that like you look like you know in thanksgiving i did look thick in that thanksgiving right before you inject that turkey but don't the we see all the like that injection he's all like the skin tags okay i don't have skin tags you asshole and close your knees you little leprechaun

so since they couldn't see what does my butt do guide my hand ready yeah okay so i'm dragging a wagon okay i got a hitch trailer he was sideways holding his man meat and all you see was like i know i was sideways holding a towel over my man meat and all you could see was my v and an ass for days and you got good like you look like a turkey that's what I'm saying if you if we were to be in an apocalypse I would cut you open I'd be like give me that give me that right you literally couldn't get close enough to me with a knife if we were in apocalypse I would live good god good god that's my baby did y'all take joy mode before y'all got here what the hell's going on I love you girl can joy mode before y'all got here what the hell

is going on i love you girl can i get back to what i was saying in the shower i don't get tummy aches in the shower i can't shit in the shower have you ever tried to shit in the shower yeah what the fuck is wrong with you dude you've tried to shit in your shower i've i've been like what would be that bad about it not a fool like not like a like a massive massive turd no sitting on a drain no and then hot water going over it no i know my body i know what kind of what's to come out of me if I have to poo-poo. It's shit. No, but there's sometimes, I'm sometimes, I'm like a, I'm like, I'm like mud when it rains sometimes. Now imagine if that mud came from your lower intestine. Yeah, but it's watery.

And it was waste. There might be corn in there if I had to put like, this is disgusting, dog. This is so gross. I'm just saying, I don't get, I don't get like tummy aches in the shower it was all i was trying to say i'm glad i'm glad you cleared that up the fact that you've even contemplated shitting in your shower is beyond me it is beyond me okay but that's the thing about me you know how i act whenever i get things that are mine. Imagine. Okay, let's do this. Imagine you had 10 plates.

Not for dinner. I don't even have 10 plates. Not for dinner. Maybe a bowl. Whatever. One bowl or 10 bowls. Whatever you can put a serving on. It doesn't have to be a plate bowl.

I'll take a plate. Anything. You have 10 plates. You shit on it 10 times. Okay? Obviously, it's not back-to-back shits to where they progressively get smaller. Let's say every time you have to shit, you got to shit on these magical plates. This is so gross.

I want you to sit there and try to visualize your tin poops yeah think about how bad any one of those going in the shower would be but you're not listening to me when i talk i don't care if it's liquid what i'm yeah it's if it's liquid it'll go straight down the drain i don't care if it's liquid i've in the shower before you belong in an outhouse've shit in the shower before. You belong in an outhouse. I've shit in the shower before when I was sick. You don't deserve plumbing. You don't deserve 2023 plumbing. It's 2024. 2024 now.

But you thought about the shit in 2023. Oh my god. How was your break? We took a break. We took a break. How was your break? I hate you. you make me nasty oh how was your break oh honestly if i could shit like this i'd have a good day you know what i

almost impulse bought the other day i'll answer your question in two seconds okay so apparently you were sitting on the on the on the on the loo right we're sitting on the loo time out we are on separate toilets wait who you're sitting on the loo you sit to take a shit doesn't matter if it's you me uncle bob down the street when you sit to poop are you saying this happened because we've never seen we're switching roles today we've never shared a loo today we've never shared a toilet in our existence i'm saying like walk with me in this imaginary imaginary scenario okay you're sitting on a toilet one cheek in it get no you're sitting normal to take a note I'm about to be done what I'm about to skip the story

are we at home or in public I'm trying to follow your story okay you are in your house okay by yourself okay sitting down on your toilet yeah take a poo there's no one else there how do you sit give me your stance you have your phone and all probably lean forward looking at the phone right okay so this apparently what you just saw yourself but you now imagine when you're butt ass naked i hate taking a shit naked like it's a necessity i get butt ass and then i go to poop right before i shower but dude if i ever just peek up and get a nice little view of myself in the mirror i'm just like man bro okay there's some things that when you catch yourself in the mirror you look crazy oh yeah i'm not gonna lie i'm an adult you are i've had intimate moments in

my life there's a mirror by my bed no you're disgusting should i not say No, you're disgusting. Should I not say this? No, you're disgusting. And I looked up at myself, and I had on, imagine this outfit right now, right, with my shoes and my socks and my hat, but there's nothing else on. I had on Air Forces,

my socks and my hat on, and I could just see my back. And I said, what happened to me? I said, how's anybody attracted to me? I'm sorry, mom. You being butt-ass naked making love in G-Fazos is insane. You're so tall. Yo.

Oh, my God. There'd be so much brown. There'd be so much just light brown, little different shades at different parts, and then just bricks on the feet. Just white bricks. Put the hat on. Oh, my God. I was like a construction worker that got robbed of his workout fit.

I just got my shoes and my hard hat on. I just thought, how intimate can the moment even be if you're in socks, shoes, and a ball cap? But it's not about that. If you're going to leave those on, you better have a wife beater on something there's no way someone should see your little hershey kiss nipples your lower back hair your leg tattoo but then you look down and you got g-fazos on you got fresh bricks dead stock and dingy oh my god and dingy 1980s hooping socks in a cap i'm sorry mom oh my god i'm sorry mom too okay how is your how's your back to what i was saying okay oh yeah the poops bro we've talked for 20

minutes about pooping we're the worst how does it always come up all. When you poop, apparently. Apparently. So when you poop, it's not the best on the intestines. Apparently. You're supposed to hike. Yeah. No, they sell stools. I have it. What?

At my parents' house. I bought it in high school. Or my Aunt Shelly bought it for us in high school. It opens it up. That's why I tell you. Remember I told you whenever you're having bad stomach pains, you couldn't shit? this is what i do and i can't shit i'll even if i don't have a stool i'll like go like this like i'll like good posture and bring my my knees up to me and so it just kind of like opens me up it's like it's like a tunnel it's like a funnel

it's like a tunnel like a funnel like a tunnel like a a funnel. Like a tunnel, like a funnel. I'm Jimmy Runnel. Mm-hmm. Ew. I'm Jimmy Runnel. God. Okay. We were just on break. We had a good break. Yeah, enough poop. Enough fecal matter.

Tell me about your break. How was it? God, sex enforces is wild. My break. The breaks are always good. There's never a bad break. You went to Austin for a couple days. Boy, did I.

I went to Oklahoma for a couple days. Both of us had great times, just relaxing. Came back, spent a couple nights together, hanging out. Dudes being bros, guys being guys. It was fantastic. Your shit, that was so shit. Dudes being dudes, guys being guys. That was so shit dudes being dudes guys being guys that was my break you want me to say something uh we played 2k payton beat me two games in a row we played ufc i cleared the entire house i think we ordered pizza one night had a couple neck these

i want to watch you know what i'm gonna do watch that was not your christmas break we went oh hey i want you know what I'm going to do? That was not your Christmas break. For Christmas, you did not do any of that. You know what I'm going to do? We went to Oklahoma. I got to see both sides of Liv's family. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to the YouTube studio app when this uploads. I'm going to screenshot the view duration,

and I'm going to show you the bar graph or the line graph of when this story started and the views. We went to Oklahoma. I got to see both sides of her family. It was fantastic. We ate great dinner, played a lot of games. I put the weird games on my Instagram story. Yeah, I saw that y'all were doing the hip flexor exercise

with candy canes, and my grandpa's like, what they doing? It was not a hip. It was a game, and my quads were on fire. Yeah. How was your hip? It's fine. It's good.

I took a break. It's good. Are you going to ask me how... What does that move? It's good. I took a break fine it's good i took a break it's good are you gonna ask me how what does that move it's good i took a break it's good i can imagine you as a dad you know what you're gonna be like as a dad great father you're gonna go to your you're going but your kid's gonna hate you in high school i want to let you know that because why because first not nice because first of all your kid's gonna get bullied because it's an astro ginger scientist. First of all, I'm going to love that kid.

I'm just going to say that's what it is. But second of all, you're famous and social media is taking over. So your kid's classmates are going to pull up on an iPhone every day and be like, is this your dad dressed as Mrs. Claus? Your household has no honor. Your dad dressed as a grandma. Even Ivy was like, oh, I'm going to do Mrs. Claus. Yeah, Ivy.

But another thing that you're going to do, though, that it's completely up to you. I can 100% see Cam doing this as a dad. When your kid's in high school, Cam's going to be a volunteer chaperone at school dances. No shot in hell. Not even that. He's going to be the volunteer chaperone at the school dances. No shot.

Kids are already going to hate you because everybody's going to come and take pictures with you. No, I would never do that. And then what you're going to do is is they're gonna play on a throwback they're gonna turn on god forbid they turn on some gonna oh my god they turn on a gunna cam's gonna be like oh y'all know nothing about this bitch i'm big god knows that's funny that's her friends yeah and then cam's gonna be in the middle of the dance floor with JCPenney slacks on. JCPenney slacks. Like a striped button-up tucked in with a nice

leather belt and like Cole Hawns on the feet. Oh my god. And then your kid's gonna be like Dad. Like dude, go home man i'm just like bitch oh i'd hate myself i would never do that that's one thing i vow i hope i never embarrass my kids it will happen oh 100 but i have but you're cool though yeah to my extent i'm gonna try to embarrass them as little as i can but if this embarrasses them, be like, this is how you have a roof over here. Yeah, go, hey, hey, hey. You like this?

I'm going to embarrass your kids, though. I'm going to be the cool uncle. But that's your job. I'm just going to be the uncle that shows up. Don't allow me to pick up your kids from school. I'm going to rip a fucking Huracan and blast like Looney Tunes soundtrack and be like outside like this. I'll be like Malachi.

Come on, big dog. Uncle P is here. Let's get you back to your house, boy. Say hop in the car, boy. Heineken 0.0 is an alcohol-free option to the original Heineken that you love.

Cam, it's a new year. A lot of people are starting new habits. We want to get rid of those hangovers. You know what I mean? 2023, we woke up a lot being like, oh, my head hurts. Where's the ibuprofen? Ibuprofen. No, stop.

But we got the Heineken 0.0, so you can enjoy the great taste of the Heineken that you love. And also, you're not sticking out like a sore thumb at a party. You're just a part of the mix. You're just grooving. 0.0. You got that 0-0, baby. Heineken 0.0 is perfect for all the times where you would love a beer, but you just can't quite take the alcohol with it.

I'm talking if you're working on lunch. If you're working through a lunch, you got presentations. You got a nice corporate meeting you gotta go to okay friday night birthday party but you got to wake up at 6 a.m for a 5k in any of those any scenario you can think of 100 of the taste zero percent of the cheers me again hello dry january i know a lot of y'all have been dming us saying we're y'all doing a dry jan January so we have the perfect alternative for you if you love the taste of a great old Heineken this is 0.0 alcohol free Heineken 00 100% taste 0.0 alcohol and only 69 calories hey it's a great number hey if you want to get yourself a Heineken 0.0 click that link in the description of the podcast

right now it is available for you it'll take you to a cart it will put this in the cart and you get that ysk love remember you must be 21 and up to purchase please enjoy heineken responsibly let's have a safe fun and a 0.0 2024 now on to to the rest of the episode. You didn't ask me how my break was. I know how your break was. I don't need to know. No, there's something that happened. I didn't tell you.

And this is a hundred percent true. God, the craziest thing. I'm telling you, this is real. How was your break? This is real. And I didn't tell y'all because this,

this sucks. This is our relationship. Now I can't tell y'all the super crazy stuff that happens to me because i want i have to save it for here the craziest thing happened to me when i went back home for the holidays dude every time you start one of these i start to sweat okay i'm literally sweating so the the podcast has gotten bigger right correct and now my mom's friends are starting to get involved in the podcast be like oh my god this is your son and they showed her the taxidermy video wherever i was talking about i want to be taxidermied when i die put on a wall and my mom has always hated that video she

gets so embarrassed by it and makes her sad she doesn't like it and she brings it up like subtly out of nowhere she'll bring it up suddenly be like that's weird don't talk about you being taxidermy i don't like that boy yeah that's bullshit yeah and so i'm just like oh mom it's funny it's whatever i like. I want to do it. She's always held a certain grudge about that, though. So my mom, when I went back home, she goes, hey, Peyton, I want to take you to meet my friend. I want to take you to their house. Now, when she said that, I was like, this isn't my mom.

Yeah. She doesn't go to people's houses, and she doesn't want me to go there with her. It's a trap. My mom protects me. She knows she doesn't want me going to people's houses she doesn't want people meeting like that kind of stuff so when she said that i go oh she's lost it why is my mom taking me places and she offered to drive i haven't seen my mom drive since 2008 right and she has a nice car not your mom she's been abducted yeah so i was like what and she was like it's gonna be cool their kids are fans of the videos

and my friend has seen the video she just wants to meet you i go that's not you that doesn't make sense we get in the car she starts driving and she goes while we're driving she starts to say payton you got to be careful what you talk about on the internet you're getting a little too weird you're saying too many weird things i was like what's happening why are you saying this to me we pull up to the house right right? I'm getting antsy. We get into this house. House has a weird smell to it. And I'm like, already, mom, I know you wouldn't bring me here with a house that has a weird scent.

This isn't you. Okay, so she goes, the mom of the owner of the house, right? Her friend opens the door. She goes, oh, my God. Nice to meet you, Mama Hardin. Or nice to meet you. She goes, nice to see you, Mama Hardin. Nice to meet you, Peyton. I go, hey god nice to meet you mama harden or nice to meet you he goes nice to see you mama harden nice to meet you payton i go hey nice to meet you the whole time i've had i'm having

an anxiety attack because i know something is happening yeah this is a setup 100 she goes just take a sit in the living take a seat in the living room i'm gonna go grab some drinks for y'all the kids are in their room i'm like why are we talking about kids why are you getting your drink it's like i don't want a beverage i'm sweating and i'm about to pass out i'm starting to see dots you know what i mean she goes sit on the couch the couch has like uh plastic over it and i'm like you're not 84 yeah mom are we about to die and so i'm like i sit down and there's a nightstand right by the couch i'm sitting on the edge of the couch i put my arm up i see something on my peripheral i at me i go holy shit there is a taxidermied cat right here again while i'm freaking out about this i'm looking at the thing looking at me in an

attack position i'm like oh my mama set me up but the whole time i'm looking at this thing, looking at me in an attack position. I'm like, oh, my mom has set me up. But the whole time I'm looking at this, I'm getting that stench over and over again. And I'm like, what is that smell in this house? And why has my mom brought me here? I'm starting to put two and two together. She brought me here because that taxidermied, right? Beyond Scared Street.

We're sitting down for about 15 minutes, right? We're talking. I'm uncomfortable. My ass is wet i'm getting a puddle on that plastic couch the cat has not blinked once marble eyes the kids i'm starting to hear them make more noise in that room the their mom goes i don't want to say their names they got kids come to the living room one kid comes to the living room. One kid comes to the living room. A second kid comes to the living room. These kids are nasty.

These kids got dark, like, gross feet. Their fingers are nasty. They haven't wiped their mouths in, like, two days. Like, you can tell. I can tell everything they've eaten in the past 48 hours on their mouths, right? There's one more kid. They got hobbit hooves. There's one more kid they got hobbit hooves there's one more kid and it's carrying something if i fuck i swear to god this kid comes to the living room with a second

taxidermied cat that's on a wooden plank like it's like mounted like on a plank and he the kid is holding it as they're playing I'm like what the hell is happening in this out of this house at this point I'm looking over at my mom like you evil and the whole time you know my mom and her sarcastic ass she's looking at me like yeah she's like you I know what you're doing. And the whole time, you know my mom and her sarcastic ass. She's looking at me like. Yeah, she's like. You want to be taxidermy, don't you? I'm like, I need to leave this. Like, I need to leave this house.

The conversations are weird. And then one of the kids put the podcast on the TV. You know I don't like that. I'm watching myself. There's a dead marble-eyed cat right here. And there's a kid playing with a dead marble-eyed cat. Hasn't wiped its mouth in six and a half days. The bottom of their feet are black.

Right? These kids are gross. I'm starting to settle in to the dead cats, the nasty kids, and the plastic couch and watching myself. We're almost done with the episode. We're going to leave when the episode is done. That smell got to a point where I thought somebody was dead inside of this plastic couch. Then I hear like a bell, like a jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. And it's starting to walk towards me. The sound's getting closer.

I look over and there is a cat that looks like it died three years ago. And they're just puppeteering it. It's still alive. And I go, what is that? I said, what is that animal? Bro, I can see the concern in your eyes that you said

what is that I say and you know you gotta be nice whenever you see like somebody's I live in like what the fuck

is that like not not oh nice but I'm like what the fuck is that and so you know

whenever you see someone's animal that they love but it's on it's deathbed you should probably put that like a 16 year old dog yeah oh it's on its deathbed, you should probably put that down.

Like a 16-year-old dog. Yeah. Oh, it's so cute. Exactly. You're like, oh, hey, what's this thing's name? It says it's 19 years old. Its name is Mittens or something. And we go, I kid you not, this mother of the house says, once transitions we're gonna get him taxidermy too i look at my mom and she goes your dad just called we gotta go we get into the car right i

don't even say a word to my mom my mom doesn't look at me she's driving she goes told you stop saying weird shit on the podcast that's how i spent my holidays that is the most savage shit your mom could have done yeah i mean that is a prime example of i'm gonna show you not tell you yeah i'm gonna like literally i'm gonna scare you straight yeah and on top of that that entire household deserves an A-10 Warthog to drive by and... Yeah, there's fucking hobbits. Hobbits playing with board cats and marble-eyed kittens. I said, bathe your fucking kids. Dude, bathe the kids. He's petting a cat on a board. It's like Ed, Edd, and Eddie, the fucking the board friend and they staple the cat to it no when i

say it was a fever dream in that house i was sitting on a plastic couch you gotta give me the what did the rest look like some other like was it there was there's a lot of plants like a a hell tusk amount of plants and knickknacks oh no no no i i swear to god if i wouldn't went inside section of the house where the kids came from, their little quadrant, there would have been probably a dead human. Oh, yeah. No. Dude, for a second, for a split second, I thought the kids were upstairs taxidermying the cat themselves.

That's what I thought you were going to say. I thought they were up there cutting guts out and shit. Kids come down, they're just like, clean their knife off. Now I get the concern of why y'all had such a visceral reaction when I said I want to be taxidermied and that's a cat

and you were terrified you are 20 times the size of any cat on this earth yeah you would literally take up an entire wall like this

that would be kind of sick though oh what if you got taxidermied in your photo op though what do you mean you held an arm like this and you went oh yeah like people could always

come and take pictures Cam made fun of me how Oh, I think oh, yeah Any time there's a fan interaction. It's like oh, we love y'all right. Oh, no. We love y'all. Thank you so much That's a one take picture. Yeah, of course. This is Payton's every time he gets his hat he goes And it's this it's this stiff it's the stiff ass shoulders, it's the stiff ass shoulders. It's like, it fixes the hat. If any of you have a picture, go open your phone right now and look at it. He's doing one, I swear to God.

I'm doing, I guarantee I'm doing this. He's doing one of two things. This, or it's one of those two every photo out there every photo is it oh my god what the fuck? What are you doing? Fuck. This text is...

What are you... What did you just do? 2024. 2024. I had good rhythm too yeah yeah that joy mode stays in your system they need a response to the podcast

oh my god send us some more bags oh shit oh fuck I have that video of you Oh, fuck. I have that video of you. Okay. I also have a question, right?

I've been really into candles recently, right? Like, washed or not, that is just a rough look, man. That is like, it's hard to stare at, bro. The edges are laid, sliced up. Like, bro. God, leave. All right. I've been having a thing with candles, right? I've been loving candles recently.

It brings a sexiness to the home. It does. Oh, candles just make you. Little candles, little joy mode. Joy mode's got a free episode. Y'all got a free episode today. I love candles, right? i've been lighting candles everywhere i got a candle in every room of the house every bathroom um i had a question though because i was really looking at that candle i was

burning it i have one of the long sticks you point the little fire things in it and then i was looking at it right and i And I was like, that shit's hot. That's fire. Two fires. There's two wicks in there. So I have two wicks going. Big candle. You know what the crazy part?

Super quick side note. When we burp like that, it might mess us up. That's it. If she burps like that, she's literally going to go to the sink and spit out a black solid from she did that in my parents house in austin that was i don't understand that was dude she was spitting brown tar from her mouth like you're a bet like an evil pokemon or something so this is the thing about candles right and i honestly i want you to i want you to inform me, right? Okay. Hey, and all you other... Never mind. Fight it. Fight it. It's 2024.

On Patreon, I'm cooking, y'all. 2024. 2024. 2024. If you want to get cooked, go to Patreon. Okay. I have a question that I don't know anything about. Shocker, right?

I'll try to stay humble and a gracious teacher in the moment and not depending on your response i don't understand how the glass doesn't set on fire in a candle it's glass glass is flammable no glass is not flammable it's glass 2024, fire is used to create glass. Wait, hold on. What? Say it again. I'm sorry.

Glass is not flammable. There's nothing flammable about glass. There's nothing that can burn in glass. What the fuck did you say? You can literally put something... You can put a... So if I were to... Okay. If I were to break my window right in my car,

glass falls on the floor of the concrete. Yes. I get matches. And I put that on there. I don't have a fire. Nothing happens. I don't believe that. Nothing happens.

Glass can set on fire. No, it can't. Okay. Have you ever seen a house on fire? Yes. Are the windows on fire? No. The window.

Yes. Yes, it is. You're about to piss me off. I was trying to do better. The windows are shattered, not on fire, dumbass. The power of the flames breaks the window. Yes. Yes, it is. You're about to piss me off. I was trying to do better. The windows are shattered, not on fire, dumbass. The power of the flames breaks the window. Glass cannot be burned.

You want to start spitting like a little creep in an untied shoe? Let's go, buddy. Glass can't burn. Hence why you can take a lasagna in a big-ass glass pan, put that bitch in a 400-degree oven for two hours. No, you have not. What have you set on fire in an oven taco shells taco shells not glass glass can't burn why because it's glass there's nothing flammable about it there's nothing that can catch on fire it's glass how what is glass what is glass made of it literally uses fire to make have you ever seen

them make a vase they get that shit it's almost like magma and they pull it and it looks like a big honeycomb and then they shit how does it get see-through that's the part i don't mirrors work that's a fascinating question how do you make a mirror that's a fast because it's glass right so how do you make a vase that you can see through and then make a mirror that even even the lowest form of of knowledge in minecraft you literally take sand you put it in the furnace and it gives you glass dead ass yeah is that why sand hurts in the furnace, and it gives you glass. Deadass. Yeah. Is that why sand hurts when you walk on it? It's little glass pieces?

If sand hurts when you walk on it, you have the most sensitive feet ever. I have sensitive feet. Sand feels fantastic. Now, if you get a little couple rocks, a couple shells, twigs, now we're talking about pure sand. I would pay to walk on pure sand all the time. You know, we should invent a sand shoe. It's too late. We said it out loud. And I would never invest any of my money into that.

Oh, neither would I. But wouldn't it be a cool prototype? No, horrible. Imagine you get a boot and it's just filled with sand. You ever wanted to torture yourself? I tried that in middle school. I would go like this. Yeah.

You know what I mean? The tempo. The switch of the... It's the switch, bro. Oh, my God. It gets me every time. You know? We're talking about glass.

You ever want to torture yourself? Not to like Wear your life with it But like I've always Oh Okay I know what you mean I'm sorry I've always wanted to

Hit myself with a stun grenade And see how bad it is You have said that In a flashbang Like a flashbang Imagine something I wouldn't want that Imagine something going off

Such a quick explosion of light And so loud Now you can't see or hear My dad I would love to do that My dad got hit by a flashbang i think see but in the same in the same regard though i would hate to be pepper sprayed i would never want to be a person i would never want to be and i guarantee getting hit with a

flashbang is worse so i have pepper spray is just like no fun fact about uh whenever i was a kid my dad had a pepper spray right and me and my brother my dad were in the backyard and we're just spraying it out why because it's so like it out. Why? Because it's so like, it's not just like, No, it's like a straight line. It's very direct. But it was windy outside. And so I hit it.

My dad was behind me. That bitch said, my dad said, Ah! He said, Ah! My shoulder! The press was like,

I'll block it. I'm kidding. Oh, shit shit Tie your shoe Tie me Tie me up Tie me up and do what you want Make me sing Make me laugh

But I'm saying like Torture yourself to the point Like you ever wanted to do The hot coal walks Or the glass walks Oh that's like not That's like resort That's like you're on the edge

Of like a stressful breakup Maybe a divorce, and you walk across those stones and it really loosens you. I don't think that would loosen shit. I just think my feet are fucking hot. It really loosens the brain. Okay, what is your ideal of like, this is a big debate I've seen online.

Vacations. Are you one of the people on vacations that's itinerary based? Or are you like, I want to sit in my bed and just watch a show in a foreign land? Because I don't know what I'm at. I like like a mixture of both but if i had to choose one give me itinerary because at the same okay i kind of live live is live is the the literal woman that will be like we could literally go to we could go downtown dallas yeah stay in a nice hotel and watch i love doing that and that's cool but it's like we're gonna go pay three hundred dollars to stay in a room you have it and watch the same show we can watch okay but that's the thing about you you put

money over like what money can do for you but you put the power of that like having it pointless that seems pointless the reset of that that's a good investment on yourself on your mental do you know what else i can do for three hundred dollars get a lot that's more of an investment on myself all i'm doing what are you gonna stock yeah i'm talking about the piece of like your body and your mind and your relationship i could go get couples massages and facials for 300 would you rather get completely worked on all your extremities cleaned all the tension rubbed out of you, or just go watch Suits in a damn 17th-story patio? The second, the latter. Well, that's you.

That's you, Noah. Bougie. God. No, but in terms of vacations, actual vacations, not like, oh, we're stopping in whatever, Oklahoma, to go somewhere else. I'm talking like you get on a plane, car, whatever. But if you go somewhere, you're staying there for four or five days, I would definitely want things to do.

But I do love, I will point at you very directly, I do love a good reset day. But I can't do that at home. Oh, during the vacation. I'm saying like the first day you get there, it's amazing. You unpack, you go hard. The second day, you're like, boom, we have this excursion. We can shop for a little bit, and then we're going to this nice-ass dinner.

And the third day is like chill. We got drunk at the dinner. Let's literally sleep in, no alarms. We do what we do. But on the next day, we got this at 9 a.m., and then we got this at 2.30, and another nice dinner at a new place. That's the thing about me. So in 2024, it's one of my resolutions is I want to actually have a vacation i haven't like had a

vacation you can go and do your solos or go with someone else but we're going on a group one yeah i already have been well like i haven't had a vacation in years like years i don't think like ever that's literally gonna be the hardest part about you by the way what i'm actually gonna trick you to what i'm gonna say yeah bro i got your bag i'm leaving that bag at home we're gonna we're gonna record yeah before okay and then i'm going to have to like i almost want to intentionally but make it look accidentally break your phone i a small part of me i need my phone set your mind free for nine give me 96 hours you'll enjoy the hell out of it we'll go we'll go we're going somewhere all inclusive i'll give you your phone but like maybe we set up a screen time but you don't know the password something like that i want to go to saint bart's i literally don't know what that is

if you know you know i want to go to saint bart's or okay or i think this is what i'll have the most fun doing like a like you know the cabin trip we went on? Cabin vlog is on Patreon. I want to do that, but on steroids. I want to bring weapons. And I want to shoot things. I'm saying imagine that, but in Colorado. Like, the same thing. But the cabin's three times the size. There's snow outside.

Can I invite you to sleep with me? As many as you like. They all have to sleep in your room, though. That's a headache. They're not going to show up and take take my real estate i will have a bed for me and my queen you know they can't cook for you rats can sleep outside on the porch no it's nice they're like me just pretty you're pretty oh thank you i have to shit okay we took it okay uh let's be transparent in 2024. Cam's my poop buddy.

Yeah. Definitely had to go take the Cleveland Browns, the old Super Bowl, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, and you know our bodies are so in sync. They are. It's like we have a metamorphosis double entendre traction control. We got to stop talking about poop so much. No, we do. It's a weird...

It's like a weird just like backbone of this podcast. Yeah. Always poop. gotta stop talking about poop so much no we do it's a weird it's like a weird just like backbone of this podcast yeah always poop i i i want an overall theme of this episode to be like 2024 what i'm doing better because you suck at talking okay so i'm just gonna talk about what i'm doing better okay thanks for the support and confidence i'm being honest with you that's uh that's how you get better you know what i'll be better in 2024 well probably not well i'll start right now so this is what i've been doing every day i I've been cleaning my house every single day. And a scent of my house. I've been making sure.

Because sometimes my house smells like science. It smells like I've mowed a lawn inside. It's rained. Threw it in a glass. Yeah. And just watched what happens. So I've been cleaning my house a lot more. That's what I've been doing in 2024.

I actually don't believe that. Of course you don't. I don't believe you do it every day. Oh my God. To hell with every day, when you clean it, whatever. Something he does, this isn't even really cleaning, but something that you have that could be a cleaning material, it concerns the hell out of me. What?

My Tide Pods? Oh, no, no, no. Your Tide Pods are fine. Pods of Tide, they're cool. Don't eat them. However, you have Lysol by your toilet. Not Febreze. Lysol. Are you aware those are not one and the same?

Right now. There's three cans of Lysol for your three toilets. And a small part of me wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. Like, oh, he's really trying to clean, keep it nice. I think that you think you got Febreze. And you grab the Lysol. Are you cleaning Petri dishes? Or are you spraying after poo?

And it's bullshit because you know that it's Lysol. Why do you have Lysol and not Glade? What? What? He said, I just, I just, I just. The fact that you just said that, I just had an internal realization. Yeah.

That's not Fabrice. That's my toilet. It's nowhere near. It's like, how do you? No wonder I get a little high every time I get in my bathroom. Because you're wiping petri dishes. Like, think about when you take a poop at my place. Okay, you immediately...

It's mine. It's both of ours. You immediately get hit with a little homemade sundae ice cream or bourbon mahogany teakwood. You're like, man, that smells good. You poop at your place, you're like... You need a hazmat suit. Bio-skid with booms. I have like raid mushrooms. you poop at your place you're like you need a hazmat suit you're bio-themed yeah I have like

raid that's what I'm bro that's the sit in my house is raid okay this 2024 year of honesty

did you know that was that's so bad it was a mistake it's a it's an oddly just cause they're on the same aisle doesn't mean they do the a mistake. It's an oddly... Just because they're on the same aisle doesn't mean they do the same thing. It's just an oddly, like, similar bottle. It's so not, though.

Lysol is so yellow. Like, it is a huge yellow can. And it's probably like $4 to $5 a pop. But it was Limon. Put some Limon on it! Put some Limon on it! That doesn't excuse your behavior. That, dude, it dawned on me. put some limon on it put some limon on it that doesn't excuse you that dude

it dawned on me and I wasn't gonna say anything the other night cause we were all we were on a on a good vibe everyone was hanging out and I said I'm not gonna

crush this drink no wonder every time I leave my bathroom I have a slight cough yeah you're like yeah it's Lysol that's like my air freshener

is Lysol that's so bad. Hey, you got a clean ass bathroom. I'll give you that. There's not a single bacteria that can grow in there. No wonder I've been itchy all the time. I've sprayed it on my bed. Oh my God.

You've sprayed it on your clothes because you thought it was Febreze. You've always Febreze your asshole. Oh my God. His go to, his tried and true method he'll be like upper body cologne lower extremities

he literally grabs what should be Febreze but clearly his Lysol goes Oh no my last week at my new house has been insane and it's been like a fever dream.

I don't know because of Lysol. Oh my God what happened at your house two days ago. Oh my God can we have to tell house two days ago? Oh my god. We have to tell. I don't know if we legally can. Can we?

Okay, Peyton straight up witnessed crime outside of his house three days ago. Hello! Hello! Swallow! You're like, what are you doing? You're like a guppy

are you even here like i literally i'm like all right we got this story and you're like bubble guppies over here like is this a monologue what the hell? Your itches, oh my God, your itches are so loud. Oh my God. He has this weird, you're like not swallowing things now. And I don't know, okay, I don't know, but liquids, drinks, drinks, beverages.

That shit, that shit you did last night. We took shots last night. I swear to God, I take my shot. I feed Ruby. I go and like zip the trash bag up. I turn around. He's like, what are you doing? Get off my pants. So wrinkled now. What are you doing? Swallow when you drink something. Why are you picking your nose you're not bleeding you are not bleeding no you're not you're not i can't help you my leg is bleeding yeah because you're fucking wolverine over here edward scissorhands going into your thigh to hell with your leg why aren't you swallowing when you drink things i can't't. What does that mean? What are you doing? It's jerky. It makes me scared.

I can't swallow. I've had a thing. I can't. And the fact that you just called it out, I've noticed it in myself. It takes me so long to swallow. But why? I can't.

I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel like, what is your fingers right now? You can't. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel like. What is your fingers right now? You just said, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Oh, my God. Are you gagging? Why can't you swallow? You are wearing panties.

You're wearing panties, dog. I just saw sensitive skin. I saw that skin where hair doesn't grow. That's what I saw. I saw that nice little quadrant of meat where it's so soft. That sounded fucking crazy. I saw that nice quadrant of meat. That sounded absolutely insane.

I can't swallow anymore. Why? There's like a thing in me. You literally turned off our TV. You turned off our TV. I'm having a panic attack. Relax! You're sweating.

You better have undergarment on. Okay, you do. God damn! Let's take a break. I need medical. Stop scratching. Dude, you're're gonna draw blood Stop scratching yourself Clip

Let me see your fingernails Clip your fingernails They're not even terribly bad But You have some long ass fingers Oh my god Do you ever feel like you're in lava? In lava? No

The fact that you're literally tiptoeing You're scratching your head My god there's black sweat stains on your white shirt There is black sweat stains on your white shirt Oh my god You just got up using one leg. The other one was stiff as a board. You went...

Bro. There should have been a thing. What? What did you just say? It shouldn't have been a thing. It shouldn't have been a thing. There's a thing. Let me reclose.

I'm just... I'm going to give you as long as you need. Does anybody have to flush? I'm so dry. I can't. The second it turns cold here in Texas, Peyton just gets scaly. Back, bro, back to the swallowing. Why?

There's been a thing. I've noticed about myself recently. Dog, your shorts, bro. Don't look. You're gonna need a damn sensor bar. There's been a thing recently. There's been a thing recently where... been a thing recently where shoes still on time my god it's been on time for an hour there's been a thing where i can't swallow you know what i mean no it's like i've never i've never known what that means when i swallow i get like gaggy gaggy gaggy best word you could conjure

gaggy when you swallow choky dude i am i like it when you choky me i am on set i am on set with like a nervous meerkat like you it you are fantastic i felt my world like collapsing you couldn't see visions getting dark i almost put two fingers down my throat if you would have gagged yourself on if you'd gag yourself on the podcast i swear to god i would have walked home or you you could have kept my car you could have kept it i would have walked back to my place i feel like in 2024 a testicle will pop out. Get me out of here. I'm like a big ass baby, dog. That's what I'm saying.

It's like you're wearing a black diaper. A hat that's hanging on by a thread. Oh my god. Snorty McPiggington. You have a white shirt, but your sweat stains are black. Black. I have a white shirt but your sweat stains were black black i have a question please oh we can't tell that story by the way yeah to hell i don't even want to talk about the story anymore there's there's an ongoing investigation going outside my house yeah that shit was now that you've come up for air that shit was insane i witnessed crime oh my god yeah we probably shouldn't Yeah

But holy hell it was funny Not If we could tell the story I think that's what happens When you don't swallow What? You're sitting there just Triggering your little throat

Just playing games with it It thinks it needs to swallow You're not letting it Then ten minutes later You get the backlash Okay honestly Belching Honestly

You're about to ask me some sick question how much money no what'd it take from you allow me you have to look me in the eyes the whole time none no money i know this hand motion i know this hand motion there's no way in hell for me to grab your throat we We're looking at each other. No. None. Zero. And you 21 jump street me. You have to stick your tongue out. Like a popsicle. I have to talk there.

Until I achieve greatness. Until I achieve my goal. Absolutely no amount in this world. Really? If you had a million cash, I'd do it right now. No, it's less than that. Right now. You'd do $100,000 cash? No.

Yes, you would. You said something crazy yesterday. What was it yesterday that you said? What was it yesterday in the parking garage that you said you would do for $100,000? I don't remember. It was something crazy. Oh, you would let a... All I got to do is take a shower.

I got $100,000. You would let a... You would let him you would let for a thousand i can't talk about yeah we can't we can't that's that's like ultimate if you if you needed to do this for a hundred grand on me i'd say no push it to 250 we're talking a quarter give me a quarter give me a give me a little quentin miller okay all right give me a qm i think think it's 2024, right? Mm-hmm. There's a lot of people out there that are trying to turn a new leaf with their love life.

Ooh. They need help. Let's start 2024 off with the best lock. I'm not going to make it to 2024. You said, Let's start off What are you doing There's so much hair Your legs

Bro you're gonna have to do the censored bar And your legs are so white and hairy Oh my god The knock knee The untied shoe The wet back of the knee Please do something for no I'm not feeling your butt crack. You literally have to pay me right now

No No, I'm not feeling your butt Dude you're choking gagging like cover up Okay, your mom is watching Dude, you're choking, gagging, like cover up. Okay. Your mom is watching. She knows. She made you. She made this.

Anyway, not the best. The love doctor in the world. Doctor in the world. Doctor P. Doctor P. Doctor P. Doctor P. Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Alright, Secretary Cam. Yes, sir. We don't have anything going on.

Me and my boyfriend of one and a half years. Shake that money maker like somebody's about to pay ya. Don't worry about the money. He sat on a nut. He sat on a nut. You popped a ball. I only got one now. Okay.

Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half are long distance. We only get to see each other every five months. Damn, that sucks. They only get to see each other every five months. Usually when I come to see him or he comes to see me, we hang out and we are good with just each other's company. But recently, since I came to see him for Christmas, when we aren't doing anything specifically, he's on his PC talking to his online friends.

I try to tell him, like, hey, I'm here. I don't see you very often. He seems like he just doesn't get it. Please, Dr. P, I'd love some insight and advice from you let me tell you something how old are they doesn't say but her name is toxic girl oh well she's not the one being toxic i'm not gonna lie somebody's cheating let me put that out there is somebody both her name is toxic queen so i'm getting that she would toxic she's flirting at least with somebody else i don't want to put that on your jacket, but you've got to wear that letterman. You know what I mean? That's a patch on your letterman now.

You've got a varsity jacket. Now, but your boyfriend, on the other hand, he's first team all offense. He's an all-star. He's first team all district. I'm telling you. He's on the all-star team. All-region talent. Oh, God.

He made the list. He's cheating on you when you're away for five months. He's a young man with urges. He's five months away from each other or something like that. When he's around you, he wants to play games. He doesn't like talking to you. Damn, that hurts. Sorry, it's Dr. P.

It's not Peyton. It's Dr. P. He's cheating on you. Let me tell you something right now. We have a lot of people in that age range that are 18 to 24 right young very young you're at the beginning of your life enjoy it enjoy it don't waste it getting cheated on and for somebody that's in a foreign land especially all you you're a lot of y'all are graduating high school this year let me tell

you something you got that high school girlfriend you got that high school girlfriend. You got that high school boyfriend. Y'all are going to go to different colleges. But I love them. We talked about getting married. I'm going to let you know right now. It's been one month in college. Hey, one college party, somebody else is kissing your lover.

Don't hate to break it to you. Oh, don't let them be an athlete either. Oh my God, if one of you is an athlete, it's game over. Sayonara. Arrivederci. Hey, and I promise you, you spend a year, not even, you spend a semester away from them,

you're not going to think about your high school love. I tell you that much right now. I'll tell you that. Hey, you'll be like, oh like i forgot that that happened um so yeah middle name you're young you might have love for you can love this person have love for this person cool they're they're they're they're they've spent nights at that sorority house i'll let you know they've gone to that frat party they've gone to that that function keep going they've they they've enjoyed they've enjoyed a dessert with somebody else. Amen. Keep going. They've split that Sunday fudge with somebody else.

Keep going. He's opened up somebody else's console. Amen. Keep going. Let's see how many you can rattle off. That's it. Okay. I feel like I've hammered home the... I've hammered home the... Does someone have like insulin? You're having like...

Bro, you need it bro you need medicine I've hammered Western medicine I've hammered hold the point you're getting cheated on they don't care that much if you're spending like half a year away from somebody and they come back and get on the game something that they were doing bro yeah bro man all right final closing remarks to toxic girl uh toxic girl best way to get over somebody get under someone else talk to you uh no just spend time with yourself be young enjoy your life you're if you're a you're not in your life doesn't start for you like real life like you're an adult adult adult where you got to get out of your ways until you're like 30 something you're young enjoy if they are

30 and you're doing a long distance relationship they might have kids with somebody else at this point they're they're taking their their son that you don't know about to their first soccer game. He's putting on Buddy's cleats and shin guards saying, love you, champ. You're at home waiting for a response. Cry. Tears. Enjoy your life. Do your thing. That's tough.

Do your thing. Hey, come to a You Should Know podcast live show. You'll meet somebody. There you go. That is tough, but it's a tough truth from the one and only dr p dr p dr p oh man man. 2024. Wow. Peyton still stinks. I still suck at telling you how my week went. But together, we're bestest friends with you.

You right there. Point at him, P. Who is it? You. You. And you. But we absolutely love y'all. 2024.

2024. There's a million different things going to happen. But the first two things february 17th tampa florida austin first oh oh march 1st austin texas austin first we got birthday show for uncle p and we got the homecoming show for uncle p you're not gonna want to miss either one of these two special dates because they are loaded and packed with fun and family and friends and hopefully you like we said earlier like he said not me in the intro whole bottom section tampa don't even think about it it's already gone but there's still a beautiful great view top section that still has

tickets available you might you might want to act fast you know might want to act fast tickets are flying going out of their austin koala club you'll be the first to know. Pre-sale. Whenever Austin tickets are live. And then about a week later, everyone else will know. So it'll come soon. As soon as we have it, y'all will have it. But we absolutely love y'all. This week's code.

I want you to take a random guess without me saying anything. Are you frozen? Like, did you get stunned? I was going to say that the secret code is something about being taxidermied. So what do you want it to be? Matter of fact, the first secret code of the new year, Uncle P gets to drop the gym on y'all. TTC. TTC.

Taxidermy that cat. Taxidermy that cat. Meow. That was seductive. Anyway, taxidermy that cat. TTC. Leave it in the comments. TikTok, Instagrams, everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.

Get your good karma. Confuse the casuals. I'm going to give y'all a CTA, right? A call to action for those that are not in the business, right? 2024 as a family, you should know. The podcast is elevating. There's going to be a lot of people, and there is a lot of people trying to deter you from enjoying this podcast. If you like it, be proud of liking this podcast.

We have we're just two friends trying to make everybody laugh. We're making each other laugh. We're having a great time and we're not going to change that ever. So be proud to be here. And we are all on a common goal. We all have our helmets on. We all have our shoulder pads on and we have a walkie talkie and we're all and we're all going to push together as a Ushino family to get one million subscribers, one million family members. We're going to do something really crazy for that.

We have the hundred episode special coming up in 2024. That's going to be special. We have a lot of cool things planned for you guys. Thank you so much for all those rocking with us, defending us against the mean people. It's the mean bastards. We love you. Thank you so much for rocking with us defending us against the mean people against the mean bastards we love you thank you so much for rocking with us in 2023 let's all grow and elevate together as a family we're not alone we're all one all right we love you and remember bro are you like a general like i feel like i could go i'm begging my soldiers to battle my arm right now and i could

go to go to war taking the soldiers to battle the best family world we love Remember, one out of ten quality bears don't make it home to Christmas. And that was a fantastic shoe flip to start 2024. We'll see you next time. You can't believe that.