You Should Know Podcast - THE WORLD'S WORST HERO! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home Pey...ton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 BIG THINGS COMING 1:51 CAM JOINS! 3:21 Our Alien Interaction 6:46 Strange DE*TH FEAR! 11:23 ROCKETMONEY 12:37 We Have FLEAS! 17:50 Do You Forget How To Breath? 19:33 How Do Potholes Work? 22:46 Peytons CRAZY Teachers! 24:32 DRAFT KINGS 25:45 What Animal Talks The Most SH!T? 28:22 Prison Talent Show! 31:15 Would You Date me? 33:49 Sexiest Piece Of Furniture 35:58 Is Peyton a Creep?! 37:55 SHOPIFY 38:56 Are Doors ON or OFF? 41:22 Cam Joins EXCEL TOURNAMENT! 44:14 Ways To Ruin The Mood! 48:07 HELLO FRESH 49:24 KIDS VS ADULT CEREAL DEBATE 59:29 Flooding My House! 1:01:34 HARRYS 1:01:45 Chasing Wild Cats! 1:05:18 The Backyard Debate! 1:06:48 KEEP THE MONEY OR TURN IT IN 1:12:17 WORST SUPERHERO EVER! 1:20:27 DR.P (BESTFRIENDS CRUSH) 1:23:42 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: ROCKETMONEY: https://signup.rocketmoney.com/infl/?_forward_params=1&_smtype=3&utm_campaign=ysk&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=podcast&wpcid=ysk&wpcn=ysk&wpsnetn=podcast&utm_content=landing-page-variant-Influencer-h&lptest=landing-page-variant-Influencer-h Shopify - https://www.shopify.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=us-ytfirst-na-awareness-1q24-en&utm_term=ysk&utm_content=ysk DRAFT KINGS: https://www.draftkings.com HELLO FRESH: https://www.hellofresh.com/pages/podcast?version=fbfl_bts&c=FREEYSK&mealsize=3-2&dm=meals&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcastfbfl&discount_comm_id=69a00013-80db-4f6e-8cdb-87ca07973397&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastads HARRYS: https://www.harrys.com/en/us YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by our friends at Factor. Make this your best season yet with nutritious two-minute meals from Factor. Eating well has never been this easy. Just heat it up and enjoy, giving you more time to do what you want. Cam, you know me, right? Yes, I do. Do I like cooking? No.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Do I like grocery shopping? No. Is it hard for me to eat healthy? Yes. Guess what's helped all that? Factor. Factor. They deliver meals to your literal doorstep doorstep in a box that says factor yes right and online you can pick what kind of meals they bring to you so i know there's going to be delicious cuisine in that box that i want that is healthy for me that is no prep there's no cleanup i pop
Starting point is 00:00:43 that john in the microwave i'm eating better it tastes good yummy tummy and it saves me a lot of money in time oh my god you're the time is impeccable factor powers your day with satisfying breakfasts on-the-go lunches premium dinners and guilt-free snacks and desserts it's easy to savor more this spring. Factor Meals, pack in the flavor with none of the fuss. Get started at factormeals.com slash YSK50OFF and use code YSK50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code YSK50OFF at factormeals.com slash YSK50OFF for 50% off plus free shipping. Now on to the rest of the episode.
Starting point is 00:01:26 The You Should Know Podcast. The You Should Know Podcast. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 128. I needed a round of applause. Please. Hey, please. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 128.
Starting point is 00:01:53 If you're new here, if you haven't already, look below. You should subscribe, but if it isn't pressed, you're wrong. If you give it more below, then you should say the conversation isn't fulfilled with your name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Guys, the merch drop last week was a success, and it is on the way to you.
Starting point is 00:02:07 For those who bought it, round of applause. We're so appreciative of you. We just did a sneaker shopping episode with Private Selection here in Dallas. So if you want to see us in a new light, it's probably like an hour and a half. I don't know. It hasn't come out by the time we filmed this, but we recorded for like two hours straight of just us making jokes, shopping around one of the best stores in the world. So shout out to Private Selection. And if you want to go watch that, just
Starting point is 00:02:32 stay in tap, in tune with all of our Instagrams at PSHA, at CamKennedy22, at YouShouldKnowPod. And we love you guys so much. The Patreon is doing great. The Facebook is doing great. We just want to say thank you. And we love you for showing up every single week, spending about an hour and a half each week with us. We love you so much. And guess what? We've read the comments and we have seen, we want more content. We want more. Don't ask for something you can't handle because in the next couple of weeks, boy, oh boy, oh boy, do we have an announcement for you. That's why you got to hit that subscribe button, hit that bell button, hit that like button, and get your good karma right now
Starting point is 00:03:11 because a lot of your good karma is about to work. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got Co-host Cam back in the studio. We can tell. We can tell we got a lot of caucasity behind the screen here. No rhythm. Quick claps and yahoos.
Starting point is 00:03:36 A lot of caucasity. Oh, I like it. Are we recording a podcast or in a meeting? That's 100%. You know, I never get the love. You're like, we're at a rally. I feel like at any moment I make the wrong move, my face is impaled. Get out, Mr. President!
Starting point is 00:03:55 I am not too confident in this room right now. Oh, this is going to be a good one. This is going to be a fantastic one. Let's clear the air. Let's clear it. There's some foggy air from your stroganoff breath. Oh, my God. I ate a beef stroganoff. I've been burping, and it's like the air. Let's clear it. Let's have the scene. There's some foggy air from your stroganoff breath. Oh, my God. I ate a beef stroganoff.
Starting point is 00:04:07 I've been burping, and it's like acidic acid. And you had it on a Dixie plate. Like, did you make it? I know you didn't make it. Did it get dropped off from, like, someone's aunt? It's not from a restaurant. It's on a Dixie plate with plastic silverware. Like, did someone bring you a plate?
Starting point is 00:04:23 That was my biggest concern. I was like, that's a Dixie plate. Okay, you want to know why? Because we had this debate about to-go boxes being microwavable. Yes, and they are. Cam, you lost the debate, and you said to me that you lost the debate. We're not doing this. I'm coming with peace.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I'm a Martian coming with peace. If you're an alien, we've talked about this before, but you asked my answer. I never got yours. If an alien came down to take me to your leader, who would you take them to? Golly. For all of human,
Starting point is 00:04:55 to represent humanity. Oh my God. That's such a loaded question. Oh, I don't know if there's one. What am I supposed to say? Gandhi? He's dead. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:05 Gone. Areva Durchy. Areva Durchy. Bro, it's going to be a horrible answer. I'm going to go with, like, maybe Elon. Maybe he can talk to him the best. He's like, is he one of us? Yeah, he's already linked with him outside of Elon.
Starting point is 00:05:19 That's like a Jeff Bezos. So just rich people. Yeah, no, I'm kidding. So why, though? Probably the guy at the local 7-Ele Just picking rich people. No, I'm kidding. Why, though? Probably the guy at the local 7-Eleven down the street. He's an honest man. He always gives me coupons. He's a good guy.
Starting point is 00:05:32 He's super nice to me. He wears sandals with jeans. I know he's comfortable at any given time. He's trying to be professional, but he's comfortable. I'm wondering why you wouldn't show them me. Oh, no chance what the what would you do matter of fact we get school a big ass ufo just light speed drops in front of us and i'm like ah and i just i just i scarefully just point to you i go it's him it's him he it's
Starting point is 00:05:58 him what would you say okay the fact i wanted you to confidently volunteer me be like that's who we want payton step on hard no shot why because if they dissected you. Be like, that's who we want. Peyton, step on hard. No shot. Why? Because if they dissected you, they'd be like, that's what they eat? Like, that's what their insides look like? This is awful. His lifespan is nothing. This is of zero significance.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Get rid of him. Get rid of him now. Throw him back down. I'm kidding. That's sick. What would you say to the aliens? They go, why are you the leader of your people? I'd be like, I'm not the leader, first of all.
Starting point is 00:06:27 They go, so we only accept leaders. Do we get rid of you now or will you say you are the leader? I lead the company. I would say that. What is your company? Your company is called Earth, correct? Podcast. I have a podcast.
Starting point is 00:06:37 What is a podcast? We talk. You speak. You lead. You're the leader of speakers. Okay. I like communication. What do you do for the podcast we make a lot of jokes a lot of poopy jokes too you like poop what is poop he's like
Starting point is 00:06:51 i poop from forehead no i'm just kidding you would be the worst alien abductee of all i think i would be okay at least i would be entertaining to be around soil your pants that's so that's such my fault that is such my fault everybody boo me real quick we love it we love a man that takes responsibility but it was cam's sister so like mine or there's not mine it's not my sister it's not my sister was she meal prepping for you she's calling see if you want onions on the that's a paid service. That's nothing weird. Now, if it was my other sister...
Starting point is 00:07:28 I'm known to leave a good tip. That's a lot. And I do apologize. That is a good tip, he says. He's known to leave a good tip. I'm so nervous for whenever I go to your sister's house now. Oh, yeah. She's going to be like, what the hell were you saying?
Starting point is 00:07:41 No, but if it was my sister... Oh, we don't call we facetime you hear that live you hear that oh we have to set that up what we have to set that up a speed day with me and your sister-in-law yes no no no but but next but like we need to set it up like we fake it like live walks in the room and y'all to her face i mean just happy oh pranker god prank Oh my god. Oh my god. That's a fantastic prank. That would be wicked. That's a fantastic prank. You heard it here
Starting point is 00:08:09 episode 128. Just be on the lookout for that. We'll do that. So you were talking about sandals earlier. The guy at the 7-Eleven that wears sandals. Sandals and jeans. Okay. You know how I am in my house. Naked. Naked. I'm wearing. Naked. Crummy. If you are wearing clothes clothes they are too small and they
Starting point is 00:08:28 are from years ago okay yeah so describe what you see when you walk into my room ass your hairy tiger striped ass oh my god when i walk into your room yeah it looks like a family of eight just moved in they all dumped all of their suitcases everywhere. The bed never has sheets on it, ever. There's never sheets on your bed, yet you sleep there every night. Explain that one. Your bathroom, you've been in your current house for maybe 10 months, 10, 11 months. Real close to a year.
Starting point is 00:09:02 It looks like six people have shared your bathroom as a community locker room for a decade. There is 20 bottles, 20 empty bottles, shampoo, conditioner, body washes, all in your shower. It's disgusting. Okay. That's what I see. Okay. So I'm saying that because I was thinking about imminent death in my bed the other night,
Starting point is 00:09:22 right? I was thinking like, i am terrified if i were to just die right now like what the corner i'd be bliss what oh what no well back to you before you come to me the corner huh it would be blissful you'd be happy if i died no not you like myself if like if i didn't get it's like you just die in your sleep, you get hit by a RAV4. You're in a totally different stratosphere. I'm saying I am terrified if I were to just like die
Starting point is 00:09:52 exactly where I'm at right now. Because I was in my bed. I see what you're saying. I was in my bed. I had half of a McDonald's double quarter pounder right beside me. Half my sheets were off the bed. I had one sock on.
Starting point is 00:10:07 You are butt naked. I had all my jewelry on. Butt naked with a ball cap on. With a flaccid peen. Well, I'm never really flaccid. No, see, that's a luxury. I have a striking vein right down the middle that's always active. Okay, you're never really flaccid.
Starting point is 00:10:23 There's sometimes I am almost introverted. How? If I take a shower, my wife leaves the door open, or if I leave the gymnasium. Yeah, I am the smallest. We would have to check your DNA. We couldn't tell by the outside. No, literally. That's why I always exit the shower with so much caution.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Because I'm like, if I slip and die right here, butt naked and a little wet, it would be bad sight so that family friends definitely the paramedics it'd just be they'd be like really yeah so that would be my fear like i was like i am in one sock half a burger next to me jewelry on jewelry on a ball cap and i'm butt naked half the sheets on the bed if i die right now they oh my god like there's gonna be an open investigation about what I do in my free time. Nothing happened, you just croaked. You were just sitting there doom scrolling
Starting point is 00:11:09 and you were just like and you were just done, you were just like your last breath and there's like flies that come out it's like I got like 70 gnats that are like resting in my sternum right now. Oh my God. What if the paramedics came up?
Starting point is 00:11:27 Exact same scenario. Then out of nowhere, a cat came out of the bottom of your bed. It was like, and you've never even owned a cat. It just starts running around the room. No dead ass. Since we have all the boys here, I found a yo-yo under my bed. Who the hell owns a yo-yo? That has to be him.
Starting point is 00:11:42 If anyone else says anybody else, that has to be Pierce. There's no way he owns a yo-yo. A what? There's no way he owns a yo-yo. No way CJ owns a yo-yo. Because me and him, if we had a yo-yo, we'd never put it down. Our sensory overload, I'd be like... In the middle of eating dinner.
Starting point is 00:11:59 I'm just playing tricks. It has to be Pierce. Deadass, I thought... I've never been to Peyton's room. That's not true. And why did he say that like it was just yeah i've never been in payton's room we think it's disneyland is that what but dead ass do you know how terrifying that is to find a child a child's toy under your bed that you don't own no that yeah hell that is a damning point so it's not your yo-yo i haven't
Starting point is 00:12:23 touched a yo-yo since elementary school whenever the anti-drug program would come. And instead of picking up narcotics, they gave us yo-yos. They're like, don't do crack. Spin this wheel on a yard. They go, here's a fidget spinner. Put the pipe down. I'm like, you're not helping and we're not relating. If I'm on a withdrawal of coke, I don't need a tech deck.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I need therapy. I need to be in an asylum this episode of the usual podcast brought to you by our friends at rocket money to everybody listening and watching i have a question for you can you name every single subscription that you have because i know i can't name all of mine and i cannot be alone i just learned that over 74 percent of people have subscriptions that they forgot about. But with Rocket Money, I don't have to remember every subscription or worry about forgetting any because I can see them all laid out right in front of me. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,
Starting point is 00:13:18 monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Everybody wants to grow their savings. I know you do and don't lie. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you, sometimes by up to 20%. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities for you to save, and then they ask them to negotiate for you. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions,
Starting point is 00:13:42 saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash YSK. Woo! That's rocketmoney.com slash YSK. One more time. One more time for everybody in the back. Rocketmoney.com
Starting point is 00:14:00 slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. So, okay, it's not your yo-yo. No. And that's 100% honest. Yes, 100%. That is concerning.
Starting point is 00:14:12 That's very concerning. And dead ass. Could it be? Without cutting open the can of beans and spilling them. I've spilled some beans before. Do you have a lady friend that brought over a yo-yo? I'm just saying. Maybe it fell out of her clutch.
Starting point is 00:14:24 I don't know. If I'm ever betting a woman that brought over a yo-yo? I'm just saying. Maybe it fell out of her clutch. I don't know. If I'm ever betting a woman that habitually plays yo-yos, somebody needs to check in on me. We need an intervention. But we wouldn't even know. We wouldn't even know. But I'm saying if I knew and then y'all found that out, I would hire a PI.
Starting point is 00:14:38 I'd be like, I need you to follow her Tuesday to Tuesday. Tell me where she does this yo-yo stuff and if she's in a cult. You're making fun of my room and how my lifestyle is. Let's do an expose real quick. Let's expose something real quick. Oh, you are a serpent with shruggy shoulders.
Starting point is 00:14:56 I don't know. You are a serpent. Last episode, I said, damn, I got a lot of mosquito bites on my leg. Oh my God. You serpent. Come to find out, ain't no mosquitoes around me. No mosquitoes. Cam's dog, Ruben Janelle Meredith Gray III.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Kennedy. Infested the whole You Should Know podcast team with mites. No. Oh, my God. Don't say that. That sounds ten times worse. I had to go to the doctor, bend over there they're pulling ringworms out of my anal. Okay, that's a different, that is a different issue.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Y'all didn't get that? Oh no, I didn't even get a cream. I just accepted the bites and I kind of rubbed on them. Yeah, but your dog is dirty. I didn't, no, she was. And I think, love you to death, Grammy and Papa, think when I left her at my mom's and my dad's she went in the backyard there's rabid rabbits there's dogs next door there's a lot of tree branches
Starting point is 00:15:50 and there's like a frisbee golf basket but anyway yeah and a bench press and a pellet grill but outside of that i think she might have got something mites sounds terrifying when i think of mites i literally think they're an army yeah like they roll in like squadrons of hundreds and they're little green things with helmets and a leader that has like a whip and like they're going to infest something a flea is like a rogue a like a mite is a soldier as to where a flea is like a motorcyclist like the flea has like a leather jacket he's kind of doing his own thing his goggles on he's just like he's like damn he just bites that gets his blood he's like just takes he's a rogue we had fleas right is that what we had i think we had fleas so i flea bites all over me and it's not because of my dirty doing it's because of your dog now
Starting point is 00:16:37 question for the audience and everybody watching leave a comment below yes no, do we call dog CPS on Cam? Let's break down Ruby's resume here. No, no. They're all natural. She's got mites. No, she doesn't have mites. She has rogue fleas. Her breath could kill a small native country. That's true. You need to brush your teeth more. I will take that. Right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Hip dysplasia. That's very common in small breeds. Recommended surgery. Cam saw the price and said, you can limp, bitch. That's what he said small breeds. Recommended surgery, Cam saw the price, said, you can limp, bitch. That's what he said to Rudy. 100% said that. I said, her hips hurting her real bad. They go, we can take care of it forever.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Three grand. I said, she's not, you know, she'll be fine. I said, she can limp. We don't have stairs. She's fine. And then to top it off, yeast infection.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Okay, okay. Does she have enough yeast in her paws to bake a small batch of cookies? Absolutely. Does she like licking said yeast? Yes. Have we cleaned her? Have we treated her?
Starting point is 00:17:32 Does she have a beautiful life? Yes. She got the fleas. She infested the humans. I don't know how, but it's behind us. Is it? If you're still itching, you need to clean your own house at this point. My dog hasn't gone back to your house.
Starting point is 00:17:45 You sprayed everywhere. I'm not even itching, and I to clean your own house. At this point, my dog hasn't gone back to your house. You sprayed everywhere. I'm not even itching and I sleep with her. Can I get my bug spray back too? I'm going to keep it for a little longer because the dog is in my house in case it comes back. I gave her a pill, a Capstar they call it. Killed everything on her body. 30 minutes after, Dawn dish soap bath. I treated her like a little baby duck.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Due to this yeast infection and... His hip dysplasia, yeast infection might take over. I started to get overwhelming amount of anxiety this past week. I was walking around. I didn't feel comfortable in my own home. It's placebo. I'm just saying I was anxious and mental health is important. It is.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Very. Okay. Then let me be anxious. Yes or no? Question to you. No, I'm not getting on you Your time is over Oh my god
Starting point is 00:18:26 You caused anxiety You and your little rat I did not cause anything The beautiful rat That you would You would literally Harm a human To protect that rat
Starting point is 00:18:33 You saw when she came back over Did I touch her Look me in my eyes You lost love for Ruby 100% For something that she cannot control 100% About 10% lost
Starting point is 00:18:42 You're at a 90% meter Of loving Ruby now Who said I was at 100 before If she about 10 loss you're at a 90 meter of loving ruby now who said i was at 100 before if she could you know oh you were at 130 before you would you'd you would hurt someone over that dog if she could understand english and she was sitting here right now looking at you with her beady little bug eyes and her cute bald head i'll be flipping flip on your back let me see if you got mites on the cooter again that thing with your ears and they talk back you would say I love you less? Yes. I told her that.
Starting point is 00:19:07 And you would watch that cute little baked bean walk off to sadness and go over there. Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't play with bugs, brother. You're a monster. You are a monster. I'm saying I had an overwhelming amount of anxiety this week. And when I get like this.
Starting point is 00:19:19 That's due to a lot of things. That's every week. That's every week. No, I'm always at like a 90 anxiety level this was a hundred so i was like palpitations i couldn't eat and i was overstimulated right and itchy man a lot really itchy you're sitting there do you ever forget how to breathe it's happened once it's so scary but mine was in a body of water i feel like that's semi-normal that that i understand it sounds like you were playing a video game and you absolutely just about dropped i was literally sitting on my couch doom scrolling
Starting point is 00:19:49 and then i started to think about my breath right and i was like i never knew is this the point to inhale is this the point to exhale where are we at what are we doing you know do you ever get that way i get that same way with sounds you forget forget how to hear. With sonic things. And I'm so serious, in songs. You forget how to hear? I forget how to hear words. Explain. So like during a rap song, right?
Starting point is 00:20:16 If there's a nice little bing, bing, bing in the background, if I laser in on the bing, I don't even hear the artist. I couldn't even tell you who's singing, who's rapping. I don't believe that. I swear to God, it's bad. Are you under the influence? No, completely sober. And it takes me a minute to get out of it. Not actual 60 seconds. But I try, I don't believe that. I swear to God, it's bad. Are you under the influence? No, completely sober and it takes me a minute to get out of it.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Not actual 60 seconds but I try, I'm like, no. That's so strange. Yeah, happened today on the car ride up here. And I lost my rhythm a little bit.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Like a little bit I've lost my rhythm. You're rhythmless. I've been trying to clap along with some shit before and I'm like, I don't know, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:20:40 oh my God, you're Sajan. It's the worst. Dude, I'll never forget that. When we were all in Austin and Sanjian, oh my God, the whole house was getting hype. Oh yeah. Sanjian was like...
Starting point is 00:20:57 It was so bad. I have a question for you. Oh, okay. That I want to see your thought process. Let's do it. How the hell do potholes occur? Where did that come up? Because we're, you know we're driving right now.
Starting point is 00:21:12 There's a lot of them. A lot of potholes. Where are my tax dollars going to? How do they happen? Heat. No. It has to be heat. Heat?
Starting point is 00:21:20 Potholes, they're hot, no? Steam comes from them. It's not a Dutch oven. It's just a hole in the concrete. I'm saying, how does it happen? No, no, no. Steam comes from potholes?'re hot no steam comes from them dutch oven it's just a hole in the concrete i'm saying no no no no no no steam comes from no no what do we land before time no no you step in a pothole and you're hot a dead pothole son that can your bumper up not your not your heat when you're driving you're like oh swerve pothole no but if you were to step in a pothole it burned you're like something like that like you know something I don't. Like, you know New York
Starting point is 00:21:46 when the steam comes up? That's not a pot hole. God bless it is. No, it's not. Imagine right here, there's a hole in the concrete. Pot hole. How does that happen? Is there a villain just walking around? Water. Water erosion. Eroding sediment. That makes sense. Thank you, Pierce. Oh, that makes sense. When did the erosion start?
Starting point is 00:22:04 1700s. So you think Chris. Oh, that makes sense. When did the erosion start? 1700s? So you think... Christopher Columbus came over. We already had paved roads. Evil man, I heard. I heard he was a tyrant. I heard he was a tyrant. Spread a lot of diseases.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Kind of like Ruby. But... That hurts. That hurts. Water... Water erosion. Yeah. Is there a stream from the lord that's just constantly hitting this
Starting point is 00:22:28 spot we're in texas my friend it rains maybe every thursday at best how are craters in the concrete forming you're telling me it's water i'm assuming i'm assuming, I'm assuming, what causes erosion? Water. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh my God, you just go ding, ding, ding. That's not erosion. That's not erosion. See, that's the shit that makes me want to grab you and twist it off. Hello. I want to pop it like a bottle cap.
Starting point is 00:22:57 That hurts so bad. Shout out to... That's a quick and easy mute. Right. that's a quick and easy mute right i'm i'm saying i'm saying hot it's hot right you're saying it's hot you're saying it's cold now i never said it was cold i never said listen to me listen to me listen listen shut your trap shut your trap and listen to me speak hot that breaks down things heat it makes things less strong heat that's why microwaves work it makes things less strong right you put something cold into a microwave it separates now you said cold all we're missing i'm just saying is there an avatar airbender's picking up the streets he's
Starting point is 00:23:37 not trying to listen there's coolness there's water so it's hot so the streets are naturally cold is what you're saying i didn't say that if say that. If you do this and do this, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Not a pretty sight. Not a pretty sight. But so if the heat, right, the heat of the pavement, the heat of the sun hitting the pavement, right? It's cooking it up.
Starting point is 00:23:59 It's breaking it down. It's making it less strong. Then the water from the rain, that's a thing, right? You agree with that yep you clan member so you bring that down and then that breaks it down erosion i hate that i have to explain science to you and my science teacher in seventh grade got arrested he had inappropriate pictures on his phone he did no he did not i swear to you no he did not and no you did not just say that. Can we please dive into it for a second time? But it was the same school where the Elvis impersonator was doing coke
Starting point is 00:24:31 and DJing our school dances. Dude, I mean, honestly, I'd pay months of my earnings to teleport back in time to that to see, but you have to come with me. We're flies on the wall and we see all this but we bring something that can record it i would i'd literally give money for that i i think that my childhood i wouldn't trade it for the world i i was exposed to so much so early so much way too early if ever is even an acceptable thing yeah you had an elvis impersonator doing drugs and he was singing to y'all. Ain't nothing but a hound.
Starting point is 00:25:05 He's floating. He is soaring. He's talking to these 13-year-olds that are worried about the social on the weekend. He's just like, ain't nothing but a hound. He is having the time of his life. And then the creep teachers in the back are like, he's taking flicks. And that guy's sitting there, ain't nothing. He's just going crazy.
Starting point is 00:25:24 I told you that one day he walked in with his Elvis suit on. That's not okay. He's hung turkey. Yeah, hung turkey. Oh, okay. The closest thing I ever... My second grade teacher was a stripper. Let me put that out there.
Starting point is 00:25:35 She was. She was. I can say her name right now. Who was the hiring agent? Same person that hires for Crunch Fitness. They go like this. Yeah, you're right. Am I in a gym or is this a goddamn club?
Starting point is 00:25:51 Who are these women? Goodness. I can't focus on the dumbbells. Are you nuts? The You Should Know Podcast. NFL Week 1 is here. And a new season means new ways to get in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL.
Starting point is 00:26:12 P, you already know we're watching the Cowboys all season long. How excited are you? Cam, you already know I'm super excited. As soon as that first bet hits and I win, I'm going to be hitting the meanest little cowboy celebration, dancing dance, all because of DraftKings Sportsbook. Score big with DraftKings Sportsbook, the best place to bet touchdowns. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code YSK.
Starting point is 00:26:32 That's code YSK for new customers to get $250 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 and get one month of NFL Plus Premium on us. Only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY-467-369. Only on DraftKings.co.ftball. NFL Plus Premium offer available only to new and former NFL Plus subscribers.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Additional NFL Plus Premium terms at nfl.com. Now on to the Resi episode. The You Should Know Podcast. I have another question for you. Yeah. Okay. Let your brain soak this in. I could soak a lot up.
Starting point is 00:27:24 I'm a sponge with my mouth. If all animals on earth could speak English, we can hear it. They can all speak. Everyone can understand each other. What species of animal would talk the most shit? Like would gossip the most? That's a fantastic question. And I have my answer.
Starting point is 00:27:40 I think I have mine too. Oh my God, if we say the same thing. I don't know if this is an actual animal, but a fly. A fly. A fly would talk so much shit. We're close. We're close. You know how annoying flies are, bro?
Starting point is 00:27:53 He's like, you thought you got me, dumbass. Slow mother. He'll just be sitting there going. He goes, how's that bagel? Farts on it. Flies off. Goes and terrorizes your dog. It's like, yeah, mother.
Starting point is 00:28:04 The dog's like, what the hell? Ruby's just like, Ruby's sitting there itching the flies like, you stinky bitch. Just coming in. Dude, mine's close. Okay, what would you say? Birds. Because birds suck. Birds are creeps.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Birds are little creeps. They'd sit there and watch you. They'd watch you do everything. Go up to that telephone line. They're just sitting there. He's like, yeah, Phil's about to get fired. I heard what he said like they would be shitting on cars shitting on car they oh you had a bad day bro seagulls give me p diddy vibes they give me like r kelly vibes like i'd seagulls seagulls bro seagulls think you're thinking they're gonna take what they want I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:28:45 I'm sorry I love this I'm so sorry You ever seen a seagull swallow? That motherfucker doesn't even think He's like whole fish And just forces it down Oh man
Starting point is 00:29:02 Bro, seagulls You ever been to a beach And tried to enjoy a nice sandwich At a beach with some potato chips? I tried to slap a seagulls you ever into a beach and tried to enjoy a nice sandwich at a beach with some potato chips i tried to slap a seagull once that's that's that's not right they came down swooping for my doritos and turkey sandwich i went you motherfuckers but i missed because it was like a dude that's what i'm saying birds have the capability of drive-bys that's true imagine a bird and like a 04 impala and they're coming by. What? You? No. No. I'm not saying nothing.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Okay. Imagine a bird in a Telluride. A Kia Telluride wearing a Nike visor cap with a Lulu crossbody. There we go. There we go. Okay. It's the picture painted. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:36 A bird, they just have that capability. They'd come in, talk shit, violate you, and just leave, and you can't do anything about it. What? You know what I mean? It's the same kind of vibe. But seagulls. Why seagulls, though? Can you imagine R. Kelly in the prison talent show?
Starting point is 00:29:52 He is cleaning up. Huh? He's winning all the commissary. Oh, no. Y'all haven't seen that video? Oh, my God. He's, I believe I... All the inmates are...
Starting point is 00:30:07 There's just 30 convicts, and he's just sitting there. I believe I can touch... And the sheriff is like... The sheriff's sitting there thinking about it. He's like, hold on, give him five more minutes. He's sitting there. Don't lock the cells yet. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:30:21 No, R. Kelly's a bad person. Yeah, what a bastard. What up? Oh my god. R. Kelly's a bad person. What a bastard. What a... Oh, okay. If I was in the prison talent show, what would my talent be? Giving it up? Have you seen my butt?
Starting point is 00:30:43 They literally go... Oh my god, here we go. A little role play, here we go low roleplay here we go oh my favorite do I have to wear a mask this time sorry you guard these the real handcuffs or the furry one good morning to you they go all right in May three three one Hardin you're up next you literally walk up there. They go, what's your talent? You would just go. You would just start dancing. You would have nothing. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Even better. You try to crack jokes. Yeah. And they're just like, shut up, bitch. So then you're like, you're super. All your confidence is gone. Yeah. So you don't know what else to turn to besides showing some of that webbing,
Starting point is 00:31:23 some of that inner thought. And you're just going. You're like. You're just going, you're like, you're just pulling your shorts up and they go, whoo! And they start whistling. You just fully, you like embody it. Like you're getting the praise from your peers. So your confidence meters are slowly getting refilled by creeps.
Starting point is 00:31:39 And you're just sitting there. You just start full blood like a GTA stripper. I would start off trying to be Jeff Ross in the prison roast, and then I just start in a butt naked. I'm wearing lip liner. And they just go, Sheriff, let me in his cell tonight! Woo!
Starting point is 00:31:53 And you're just like... And you think it's so good the second you leave the stage, oh, you're fighting for your life. Oh, God. A prison talent show. Why is that even... I mean, they deserve it too. Do they? Well, yeah. Not everybody talent show. Why is that even a... I mean, they deserve it, too. Do they?
Starting point is 00:32:06 Well, yeah. Not everybody in prison is a monster. Some people just do tax fraud like you do. You just haven't been caught. No, no. Let's throw a percentage on it. I would say high. I'd say pretty high.
Starting point is 00:32:17 At least two-thirds. I don't know. I've never been in jail. No, not jail. I never want to go to prison. I don't even like this. Prison is like my biggest fear. You said, like, please stop. You go fear someone has a phone in there they're gonna see this is that okay what's up just real quick quick me what are we doing i don't what are we doing in prisons like me and you no no what is
Starting point is 00:32:37 the system allowing in prison would you date me if we were in prison like life sentence me and you they put us in the same cell would you date me you we were in prison like life sentence me and you they put us in the same cell would you date me you need to excuse yourself from this conversation right now would i date you are you out of your mind like we're both single never met each other single single talking about prison's crazy i said we're both single like we're not took no like we've never met each other it's us right now us right now we go to security. Peyton, our sole job would be to survive. No, but late and survive. Yeah, but we've got to go to bed.
Starting point is 00:33:08 And eventually, six years down, divide and conquer. Yeah. Go to bed. We have to. Yeah, I'm top bunk. You're bottom bunk. Like Christmas time. You're bottom bunk.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Every day of the week. Hell no. It's too heavy. Oh, like the steel frame cot that we're sleeping on It's gonna erode and fall on you It's gonna be like the stepbrother scene They built it out of wooden nails Hell no Okay deadass it's Christmas time right
Starting point is 00:33:32 Hey Merry Christmas bro I'm still here with you No I go I can't let him see that But then as soon as the guy walks past I'm like I'm sorry I love you But no So no dating
Starting point is 00:33:42 You would date me I'll date you in the free world What is wrong with you I'd date you in the free world. What is wrong with you? I thought we were in a different. Yeah, all right. Better question. What's up?
Starting point is 00:33:53 You try to force the dating. I go, dude, no. Stop it. Stop it. What are you doing? Norman. Norman, huh? Norman. Oh.
Starting point is 00:33:59 I'm just kidding. So then. Okay. So obviously, I've turned you down Maybe 20, 30 times now You were very persistent Very persistent Turned you down Every day for a whole month
Starting point is 00:34:09 So then your eyes Go somewhere else You see a new You see a new little A tall White boy A little tall Glass of water
Starting point is 00:34:17 Tall Big old glass of milk Big country 2% You could tell his mom Had good bread Do you Do you
Starting point is 00:34:24 Ask me As if like a relative for grace to date that guy? No. You have no say so if I date him. You'd turn me down. That's kind of messed up. You don't control me. So I turn you down, and now our friendship and our bond, the only thing that we have in this prison is now shattered.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Well, I've got to respect my new love. You've got to respect me first. Not if you turn me down. You had an opportunity to have all of this. You could have all of me. I don't want all. I want you to breathe. I want you to be alive.
Starting point is 00:34:51 I want to make sure your slop isn't poisoned. Or there's not a spork coming in and stabbing your feet. No, I would protect you. Would we watch each other shower? Think about it. We'd shower each other. You'd get my lower extremities. No.
Starting point is 00:35:01 The small of my back. No, you shower and I'm like a left tackle. I'm just like sitting there waiting protecting and then we rotate but you'd be dripping soaking wet this is too much this is a lot that would be you could braid my lower back here um i want to do something oh my god i went on i didn't know how cool reddit was reddit's a great place reddit is a device reddit is a full-blown it is a it is an ecosystem we have a reddit page we have like a we have a uh subreddit it's never used no one really cares about us that's cool but there's a lot of cool questions on reddit you're scaring me
Starting point is 00:35:35 because i won't question to you it's like i don't this is gonna be scary no i'm dead ass like i okay there's it's cool questions right okay what do you consider to be the sexiest piece of furniture oh man you know what i mean oh my god the sexiest piece of furniture i either go an amazing coffee table like a really good coffee table it just like draws eyes or like a a hell of a blanket like a hell of a throat that's That's not furniture. That's not furniture at all. Coffee table or like a nice sectional. Like if you have a good couch, multiple different angles for viewing and conversing. And then you turn and you look at that sexy oak wood, dark stained, epoxy, little just hell of a coffee table.
Starting point is 00:36:19 What exudes sexual off of that? Like what makes that sexy? The sectional, it's kind of like your net worth. Bigger couch, softer house, softer couch, better. But the coffee table is like your good bourbon. Everyone can have a coffee table, but that's aged. That's sexy. So you're just saying the vibe of it is sexy.
Starting point is 00:36:42 I'm functionality sexy. You're talking about actual coitus. Like, what can I have sex on the best? no not that no no can i make love no because my answer is like a good blind like a blind a blind he ever had a motorized a motorized shade that goes up and you witness god's nectar touch some naked skin oh my and you look like a honeydew on a Wednesday afternoon in April, oh my God. You know what I mean? First off, I have a 65-year-old neighbor. If I open my blinds and I'm butt naked, he'd be like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:37:13 He would hate. He would hate every part of that. Second, I don't even have the cool motorized things. That's you. Those are sick. And third, I don't spend too much time in my own humble abode naked. That's why I kind of had to stop living in apartments. It's because I would put my ear.
Starting point is 00:37:27 You're so naked. No, I would put my ear to the wall because I could hear my neighbors. The amount of things I heard, I was a part of their family tree. At that point, I was like, their uncle's doing that again? Did you? I was like, let him see the baby. Did you just willingly admit to being a creep? Is that a creep?
Starting point is 00:37:43 If it's on my, I'm in my house. That's pretty creepy. You said you put your ear to the wall to listen to them. That's creepy. No, but I could already hear it. Hey, welcome to creep. Like, creep 101. You flip it, the first page says, try to eavesdrop.
Starting point is 00:37:58 That's eavesdropping if I can hear you through my house? I'm in my house. If you're sitting there doom scrolling, you hear something about the uncle? No. You said you were like this. What are you talking about you talking oh i put my ear to the floor before to hear my people under me swear to god i've been in all fours ready for the taking like just ear to the streets you know what i mean and i've heard everything going on i know what you're making for breakfast you're a bastard is that strange that is strange as hell you're not a peeper you a peep
Starting point is 00:38:24 that i think that's worse than peeping. Is it? Peeping is like there's some stimulation. You're getting something off of listening. I like being involved in other people's lives. You're like, don't take him back, Tonya. You're better than that. Come on.
Starting point is 00:38:35 And then you go downstairs and she's like, what the hell do you want? She doesn't even know you. You're just like, I was just saying, Reggie's not the guy for you. No, I've been completely involved in people's whole love stories or family drama. It's the best being involved in something that has nothing to do with you. Oh my God. Yeah. No, you need help.
Starting point is 00:38:51 But your apartment is perfect for it because on your balcony, you can see everybody's windows. I would spend hours on that balcony just watching. If you leave your balcony, that's weird. Why are you looking into other people's homes? It's open. Maybe by accident, maybe for the God's nectar light. That's so strange that that's not normal.
Starting point is 00:39:11 So strange that you're peeping, listening, and window watching. Yeah, he's a peen squeaker. A peen squeaker. A peen squeaker. A squeen peeker. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at shopify when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like aloe all birds are skim sure you
Starting point is 00:39:31 think about a great product or a cool brand and brilliant marketing but an often overlooked secret is actually the business behind the business making selling simple for millions of businesses that business is shopify nobody does selling better than Shopify. That is why they are the number one checkout on the planet. You remember when we were first selling merch? We packaged everything by ourselves. We had to run the whole POS. We fulfilled all the orders.
Starting point is 00:39:55 It was tiring, guys. It was tiring. We switched over to Shopify and it was literally so simple, so easy, and so efficient. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout your favorite businesses use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash YSK, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash YSK to upgrade your selling today. That's shopify.com slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Okay. I got another ready question. Clear the air, you creep. Would you consider an open door to be on or off? Oh my god. That's a great question. Oh my god. Initial thought I wanted to say on, but it has to be off.
Starting point is 00:40:41 An open door is on. I think an open door is off. Explain that. Where do you want me to go first? In my thought process, the practicality and the function of a door is to open, lead you to something else. So it being closed, like it's locked and loaded,
Starting point is 00:40:57 for you to open it. See what I'm saying? No. I was trying to figure that out in my brain. If the door is shut, you can now use the door for its function, lead you to something else. So I would consider it on. No.
Starting point is 00:41:11 When something is on, it is active for use. Exactly. And what's the purpose of a door? Active for use. See, those two for use is where you're getting your little. What's the purpose of a door? To connect you to something else, open up to another room. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:24 So that is on. If it's open, it's on. You can use that. You can just go in and out. That is on. If it's off, it's turned off. No one's touching. There's no use for a closed door at all.
Starting point is 00:41:33 There's nothing that you can use that for. You open it. You use the door. And then it's on. Once you open it, it is on. Opening it is on. If you walk up to a door and it's already open. That door's on.
Starting point is 00:41:43 I'm considering it's off. No, no. It's off if it's no use. Like, okay, do you spend more? If it's door and it's already open. That door's on. I'm considering it's off. No, no. It's off if it's no use. Okay, do you spend more? If it's locked, it's off. Do you spend more or less time with something when it's on? Come again. With anything in the world.
Starting point is 00:41:56 When something's on, are you using it? Yes. Okay. An open door, you're more than likely using it. You're going in and out. You're leaving or going in, right? When something is off, it is dormant. You're not than likely using it, right? You're going in and out. You're leaving or going in, right? When something is off, it is dormant. You're not touching it.
Starting point is 00:42:09 I can get behind your thought process. Did I just smoke his goddamn boots? I think I can get behind your thought process because I immediately went to a light. If a light's on, even if it is accident, you leave it on, it's still on. That's not equating, is it? No, no. We're not relating on any level. Not at all.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Okay, well, the door's on. I'd say it's on. An open door. It's on, yeah, so you agree okay well the door's on i'd say it's on an open door it's on yeah so you agree with me it's on okay it's on those are the two questions i might bring these every episode and i just want to kind of get you thank you so much who thinks of these questions reddit reddit's a fantastic place they gotta be they gotta be there's no way someone's just sitting there like playing mario kart and like oh some people have creative brains bro they don't just do math and equations all day like you. So what?
Starting point is 00:42:46 I like a good Excel problem. Okay, this is kind of embarrassing. I love embarrassment. My life's an embarrassment. My third year in college, I thought about joining a Microsoft Excel tournament. I'm not making that up. I'm not making that up. Where do you find the sign-up sheet for that?
Starting point is 00:43:03 Where are they giving out those flyers? You want honest to to god like the actual process of how yeah i want to know exactly where you would find out about this so third year the year after you left so it's still a simile me and j willy teammates that was right when tiktok became like even a thing really it was like the crazy videos scrolling through one day i saw a microsoft excel speed run it was a guy doing problems with a timer trying to beat his best time i said damn i'd be pretty good at that i opened up my laptop but i didn't have any i didn't have any worksheet so i was just looking at it was like i like excel though so then i went and basically just searched it up is there tournaments whatever and there is when you look back on your life are you satisfied with the courses you've taken no it's it's gonna
Starting point is 00:43:43 be a rough look it'd be a rough book to read. Reading my life book all the way up until chapter 21 would suck. It's a snooze fest. It is a snooze fest. The favorite color's gray. The outside's dead. If you redid it, would you be more fun? Yeah, but I don't want to say that because I don't have any regrets.
Starting point is 00:44:02 I love where I'm at right now, so I wouldn't want to redo it. But, dude, I had – A broken clock works twice, so you got real lucky. I got very lucky, very lucky, very – Dude, I was a female repellent. I was a sex repellent, even from a young age. Yeah. Okay, story time.
Starting point is 00:44:21 First grade, this girl didn't – no, second grade. I didn't understand what it was. Second grade, when people pick on you, it's because they like you, right? Yes. Okay. That's what I do now to this day. This girl's tapping me. She's annoying me and stuff, right?
Starting point is 00:44:31 Yeah. I go home. I tell my mom. I go, hey, this girl's being really annoying in the line. Like, she's just touching my back. She's grabbing my suitcase, all this. She goes, okay, just tell her to stop. I go back the next day, stop.
Starting point is 00:44:43 She's doing it. I tell my mom again. She goes, okay, you need to get her to stop. She shouldn't have said that, Lisa. I go back next day stop. Hey, she's doing it I tell my mom again. She goes okay. You need you need to get her to stop She said that Lisa. I didn't know what that man. I know what she was thinking Remember this third day in a row. She's touched me. I literally Got I don't know if you could say this I literally turned around I go get off I smack her hand and I get all red and I'm like get back And then the girl starts crying I struck her the whole time I get all red, and I'm like, get back!
Starting point is 00:45:06 And then the girl starts crying. I struck her the whole time she was trying to get my butterflies going. She was trying to get me to like her back. I get that. Horrible. God. I get that. See, you were rejecting it. I was having two kisses at one time.
Starting point is 00:45:18 I was like, you want me, you can have me. Just think about that. I was easy, dog. Think about that. Yeah, you were fast. You were really like, wait, you got a mouth? I was like, yeah. Think about that. Yeah, you were fast. You were really like, wait, you got a mouth? I was like, yeah. Think about that.
Starting point is 00:45:28 At the same age, you were making out with two broads behind a slide. I was playing Bakugan. I did that, but the duality of man is impressive because I was doing both of them. It's very impressive. I was racing females in like drag races with our feet. Okay, I have a question for you, right? Because I don't have coitus. And you do regularly.
Starting point is 00:45:43 That's why you have a kid on the way. That is true. So, coitus is fantastic. I wish I knew, right? Can a man sing better than sex? So, I have a question for you. This is really scary. What is...
Starting point is 00:45:56 What's the worst way... Oh, God, no. No, please, no. No. Because if honesty comes out, I might just... I might as well dig my grave now, dog. I might as well go to the courthouse. Yeah, I might. Oh, God, no. No, please, no. No. Because if honesty comes out, I might just, I might as well dig my grave now, dog. Might as well go to the courthouse. Yeah, I might.
Starting point is 00:46:07 Oh, man. What's the number one thing that could ruin coitus for you? Because I have an answer. Oh, my God. What's the number one thing that could ruin coitus for you? Dude, if the partner's not in it. If the partner's, well, not like self-pleasure, but I'm saying like, if the partner's not at the same level as me,
Starting point is 00:46:26 that can ruin it instantly. I will literally go, okay, that's a real answer. I'm talking about mine. If it's too damn cold in the room or if I get a goddamn cold breeze on the back of my knee, I am out of commission, brother. Hey, brother. Your ass is out and it's just like, you go, get out of here. Get out.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Get out. There's a ghost! Like, no. You know when you toss it and turn it and flip it and now your back's to the world and you get that cold breeze? Dude, I'm like, hey, I am done, ma'am. Your balls, it's like you go, oh. Okay, oh my god, for me it's Ruby.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Oh my god, I'll be in the middle of making sweet, crisp love to my wife. The f*** dogs did their licking the bottom of my foot. And I'm like, no, no, no. I'm sitting there. Oh, my God. Me and Liv were sitting there having the time of our life and really enjoying God's creation. And a dog comes up, nibbles on my calf, and brings me her squirrel toy.
Starting point is 00:47:21 And I'm like, get out of here, bro. And we gave her steps we gave her we gave her doggy stairs for the side of the bed sometimes her ass will just pop up be like just looking at me I'm literally like I'm like get out of here dude one time she started one time she started licking Liv's leg Liv said she said how you down there no I'm just I'm kidding I'm just What the fuck When did you get two tongues? I'm kidding I'm kidding
Starting point is 00:47:48 I'm kidding I'm kidding That's so gross Bro, it's either that No, that sucks They started locking her out of the room Literally You have to
Starting point is 00:47:55 So now you're in the middle of sexy time You're doing whatever you gotta do And all you hear is Scratches at the door You ever You ever hear something? Oh, no One time I...
Starting point is 00:48:10 You ever hear some shit? One time we were making love and we heard a boom, like a significant boom. I, butt naked, walked and cleared like a counselor, cleared my whole apartment, shaft out, just sitting there swinging. I'm looking through a peephole. I'm like, is someone in here? I'm like, get out of here. I'm looking I'm looking through a peephole No, but naked Oh Liv sitting there just waiting for me to come back I'm just walking around Mike yo, no you ever your stomach ever start to grow. Oh during it bro. You're hungry Oh, no, the worst when you're too full I just had a full full blown out phrase sitting there shitting your pants trying to make love.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Oh, my God. You know how many times I've pooted in the act? I'm sitting here, whatever. I'm just like. It's like there's no breadsticks. The amount of times I've pooted during coitus or burped. Okay, I have another question. I've burped while I was.
Starting point is 00:49:02 You've burped? Imagine you're sitting there swapping, telling each other, and it's stroking off. No, my face is somewhere else, if you know what I mean. I'd go... My face is somewhere else, if you know what I mean, when I'm burping. I had a lot of Chipotle. That's an infection.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Can you? It's like... No. I'd be like, that was you. You black bean... That was you, that was you. You black bean. That was you, man. You know, cilantro and lime rice. This episode is brought to you by our friends at HelloFresh.
Starting point is 00:49:39 We all know home-cooked meals are so much better for you, but you don't always have time to pull it off. Oh, I know that. But with HelloFresh handling all the planning, shopping, and most of the prep, it's easier than ever to get dinner on the table quick and painless. With HelloFresh, you get farm-fresh, pre-proportioned ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. You can also easily customize your meals with
Starting point is 00:50:10 protein or veggie swaps. And don't forget to check out HelloFresh Market for more delicious add-on items to jazz up your weekly deliveries. HelloFresh is the perfect scenario for me. I always am in a time crunch. It's hard for me to prepare meals. Go to the grocery store, but with HelloFresh, they just deliver all this great tasting food. It's simple, it's quick, and it tastes fantastic. For free breakfast for life, go to HelloFresh.com slash free YSK. That's one free breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life just by going to HelloFresh.com slash free YSK. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Okay, I went grocery shopping. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, yeah, you are. Oh, yeah, you are. Oh, yes, you are. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:51:04 I hate, I hate messing up. That is like you just lost all four molars. Like you had a different gaping mouth. Yes or no, did anybody get a little blood flow from seeing that? That was pretty impressive. I can't do that. No, my jaw is open. It has to be to support the damn tongue.
Starting point is 00:51:21 I'm sorry. That was a low blow. I'm double jointed in my jaw. I'm telling you, if I was in prison, I'd be on the all-star team. Oh, stop. No, stop. They'd put a goddamn banner up for me. They might name the cell block after me. My mic is wet. Alright, Harden Block,
Starting point is 00:51:36 you're off. Recess time. Let's get it. Ugh! Oh, God, no. Yeah, I'd be torn in two. Okay, yep. That's on me. That's on me. Hey, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:51:48 Have you seen my butt? I have a question. And the transition I'm going into is not well. Okay, wicked. I went grocery shopping, or at least I attempted to. I was about to say, that's new. Yeah. And grocery stores give me anxiety.
Starting point is 00:52:02 I don't know where everything is. There's too many bath and body products next to the salami. I don't like it. Too many people. And I always play bumper cars with my buggy. You're sitting there. Oh, sorry, man. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:52:15 But I went into the cereal aisle. And I remembered I haven't had cereal in forever. Okay. And I want to know, what's your favorite kid cereal kids what the what is a kid cereal the hell is a kid cereal like cereal you ate as a kid okay but it's not a kid cereal that's a cereal there's there's there's children's cereals no there's not it's all cereal there might be shit tailored because they put some on the box, but it's not a kid cereal. It's not small little bites. There is cereals that are out there.
Starting point is 00:52:47 If you're eating them above the age of 18, you belong on a list. There should be a ping in front of your house. You have to alert your neighbors. I'm a registered kid cereal eater. What is a kid cereal? Like the sugary cereals. You remember from childhood, right? Salmon Toast Crunch.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Still eat it now. That's your favorite? That's one of the best cereals of all from childhood, right? Salmon Toast Crunch. Still eat it now. That's your favorite? That's one of the best cereals of all time. Even better? Even better? Cocoa Puffs. Cocoa Puffs? It's a versatile cereal.
Starting point is 00:53:12 It's the best kid cereal of all time. Cocoa Puffs is probably the least versatile cereal there is. Every time you eat it, what are you getting? Chocolate. Next. Hey, let me get a bowl of chocolate milk. Versatile. Reese's Puffs, at least.
Starting point is 00:53:24 You might, on a rare occasion, get a whole spoonful of just the peanut butter wings. Then the next one's the chocolate. You can't defend the cereal. You said Captain Crunch. What'd you say? I said Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the greatest ever. Captain Crunch made my gums bleed.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Captain Crunch had cyanide in it. You'd finish it, and your whole mouth is lined with something. You're like, God, oh, is that the Crunch Berry? You genuinely think your cereal is better than Cocoa Puffs? If you polled 100 Americans, Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Cocoa Puffs, 80% are going to laugh. The other 20% are definitely going to side with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cocoa Puffs, watch this.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Cocoa Puffs, watch this. CTC for the win. Cocoa Puffs for the win. Watch this, watch this. With Captain Crunch, is that what you keep saying? Cinnamon Toast. Are you stroking out? Are you smelling toast?
Starting point is 00:54:10 It's Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Okay. CTC. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Say it with me. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. There's no pirates. There's no captains.
Starting point is 00:54:20 The thing you can do with Coco Puffs that you can't with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. If you would have said captain, I would have slapped you. The things you can do with Cocoa Puffs that you can't with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. If you would have said Captain, I would have slapped you. The things you can do with Cocoa. You can pour chocolate milk into that cereal. And you can't do that with Captain Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I've literally had Cinnamon Toast Crunch with chocolate milk. That's next.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Yeah, you can eat hot dogs with hot boiling water. No one wants to do that, but you can do it. You can have a filet mignon. That's probably like the third most common way to make hot dogs. Hot dogs boiling water. No one wants to do that, but you can do it. You can, you can have a filet mignon. That's probably like the third most common way to make hot dogs. Hot dogs, water. No one does it. Everyone's mom ever has dropped them in a pot.
Starting point is 00:54:53 That's exactly how people do it. You can eat, you can eat a chicken pot pie and put a frosting on it. You can, no one does it. Okay. You can. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:02 I see what you're saying. You idiot. But I'm saying cinnamon toast crunch wipes the floor they got a sexy ass flamingo on the box what do you have some old pendergradial white man that owned people what cereal is he talking about you have a there's a flamingo on cocoa puff yes it's a it's a peacock. There's a bird that has feathers. No, there's a bird. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Starting point is 00:55:28 There's a feathered bird. First off, your cereal has a mascot. Yes, that's the best kind of kid cereal. That's the best kind of kid cereal. If there's a mascot on it. Stop saying kid cereal. That is a kid cereal. Raisin brand is an adult cereal.
Starting point is 00:55:39 No, kid cereal is Gerber. The shit that doesn't even have sugar in it. That's kid cereal. We're talking about kid cereal. I used to eat baby food before in middle school to try it out. Oh, my God. Okay, just relax. You wanted to be so different.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Okay, I don't even want to argue who has the better cereal. There is definitely a difference between kid cereal and adult cereal, 100%. Define it for me. Okay. Just actually define it. Okay, listen to this. If you're a 25-year-old man... Hey, I'm over here.
Starting point is 00:56:07 Who are you talking to? I'm actually over here. Haven't moved once. You said, hey, listen up. Do I need to be here? Is this a monologue? If you are a 25, 26-year-old man that pays rent and mortgage and has a cell phone bill every month, and you have to be careful
Starting point is 00:56:23 of what your air conditioning is at and turn off lights before you leave. That's me. If you are eating the marshal, what's the Lucky Charms? Lucky Charms. If you're eating Lucky Charms as a tax-paying citizen, you're going to jail. I literally had Lucky Charms three weeks ago. You might.
Starting point is 00:56:39 No, no. That's strange, no. That's strange, bro. That's not strange. That's because I like the cereal. Okay, Special K, is that kid cereal? I ate it when I was a kid. Your life sucked.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Your life sucked. Lisa kind of just brought it home, and I was hungry, so I just ate whatever it was. You did trigonometry on Friday nights, brother. Okay, I would argue you. I would argue there's definitely an adult cereal. If the cereal's sugary, that's tailored for younger. So I'm right. So that's the end of the argument.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Thank you for coming back to this episode of the Ishano Podcast. You said there's definitely kid cereal. Look at my grandma. I mean, she never fully could see in my lifetime. But my grandma, before it went all downhill, her favorite cereal was Lucky Charms. Okay? Yeah, I had to pour it for her.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Geriatrics don't count. You know they're just horny and confused. That's true. Your pheromones rise when you're old. When you're on the, like. The rose on me-moles are blood pressure. Oh, my God. That's not what I thought you said.
Starting point is 00:57:43 I thought you said when you used the rose. My heart. Are you kidding me? And I'm the creep. Let's recap this episode. You think things happen with my own grandma. No, stop. You listen to the floor. And and you think what was then and i'm the creep no okay dead ass dead ass yes sir okay and he'd be the mascot in prison
Starting point is 00:58:15 but i'm a weirdo i'd be a guy that doesn't understand kids i'd be a mcdonald's all american in prison you okay back to it all cereal majority 85 is sugary it's a shit breakfast yes let's just call it what it is there the 15 is directed towards the adult yes so i would venture to say there's such thing as adult cereal everything else is loved by kids so you're saying my point there's kid cereal no that's not what i'm saying there's adult if you're saying my point. There's kid cereal. No, that's not what I'm saying. There's adult. If you're an adult eating marshmallow-like things, and you have to go clock in in the morning, get help. No.
Starting point is 00:58:51 That's strange. Bro, and if you're a kid. People would say if you're not a caveman, but you eat beef in the morning to go be a human. Go join society. But no one knocks on your door and hands you a briefcase and a hard hat helmet. If there's a kid eating Raisin Bran, if there's a seven-year-old eating Raisin Bran, he can solve a Rubik's Cube in under 12 seconds and he gets picked on.
Starting point is 00:59:09 You know what I mean? Like, that's not, like, there's differences. There's roles in society. Bro, okay. You're not even listening. You're not trying to listen, but we'll continue with it. Kid cereal. Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Back to the basis of this. Shit puffs versus CTC. No, no, no. I don't want to do that. I don't want it. Kid cereal. Yes. Back to the basis of this. Shit puffs versus CTC. No, no, no. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that anymore. Because you lost. No. And it came with a funky straw one time. It came with a funky straw. Your household said anything brown or black,
Starting point is 00:59:38 we don't want it in there. That's why you didn't have that. So let's put that out there. My gen lisa said, nope, get that out of here. Get that ghetto shit out. So you can't have that. They're like, oh, there's a that out there. Mike and Lisa said, nope, get that out of here. Get that ghetto shit out. So you can't have that. They're like, oh, there's a white pilgrim. Hey, turn that bullshit off. Put on George Strait.
Starting point is 00:59:51 You can eat the cereal with the white pilgrim on it. That's what you can eat. So you want to go back to that argument, we can. All right? Mike and Lisa are going to kill me. First off, I am still not convinced that Cocoa Puffs has a peacock. It has a bird on it. As its mascot.
Starting point is 01:00:10 I don't know the difference between birds. I didn't go to birdologist. First off, it's a toucan, I thought. And that's not for Cocoa Puffs. No, no, no, no, no. That's the... Apple Jacks. No, Apple Jacks has the Jamaican on it.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Apple Jacks has the cinnamon stick. Yeah, it's always fried. Yeah, the pothead. He was lit. You know he got out of rehab. He got out of rehab. Oh, the picture. Yeah, he cleaned up, brother.
Starting point is 01:00:33 He cleaned up. He's doing well for himself. But there's definitely a difference between kid and adult cereal. There's a difference. You're an idiot. And you're a predator. So what? You're an idiot and And you're a predator. So what? You're an idiot and I'm a racist predator.
Starting point is 01:00:50 They're going to clip that. Okay. Hey, I have something for you that's not nonsense. Actually, it's very much nonsense. What are you sitting like? What are you sitting like? What are you doing with your legs? The amount of wetness in my crotch, I could fill a small kiddie pool.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Oh, my God. That just brought me back. That just brought me back to an episode of Silent Library. Coming soon. Brother had to, hello. Brother had to, he was on an assault bike with a trash bag around him, and all of his sweat leaked to the bottom, and another contestant had to take a sweatshot.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Oh, we're not doing that. Oh, hell no. We might do that. No, we will not. There was... We will not. We will not. See, speaking of kiddie pools and stuff,
Starting point is 01:01:34 I used to be like super into Roman Atwood, YouTube legend, right? Roman Atwood? Yes. Yeah. So, and he used to do this stuff where he'd like fill his house with like those kid balls and stuff.
Starting point is 01:01:43 He'd like do cool shit in his house. That's fun. And I wanted to turn my house into a pool one time. And so I grabbed the hose and I started spraying the inside of my house. I couldn't see out of my right eye for a week. I said, boy, what? Yes or no. Yes or no, did I role play when I was younger and I took baths and I intentionally tried to suffer myself and fake drown
Starting point is 01:02:13 so I could come above the water and act like... That might be a thing. No, it really might. That's a thing. No, I'd literally have my soldiers on the edge of the bath and I'd be doing them in battle and stuff but doing that sounded crazy i'd be fighting them there we go and then i'd literally go i'd be struggling i'm like like i was a pow bro i'm i'm i'm touching the head i'm convinced bro no you you i don't know
Starting point is 01:02:43 what but i didn't do weird shit like it's just that's weird no i'm saying i didn't have weird external factors that caught it's not like i was up watching war documentaries and stuff i just went to school came home played some yu-gi-oh yeah and then when i took a bath i was like this episode is brought to you by our friends at Harry's. Everyone in the comedy world knows not every joke delivers, but Harry's always does. They send the best quality razors right to your door
Starting point is 01:03:13 for a fraction of the price of the big brands. Better designed shaving products at a better price. It is no joke. It's Harry's. Harry's sent both of us over their trial set, and boy, when I tell you, I'm a fan of aesthetics. And the packaging itself just looks so clean, crisp, and simple. I love it.
Starting point is 01:03:30 The weighted handle on the razor. Oh my God, it's German engineering. It feels like I'm getting every single little pore in hair. It's fantastic. You can get a five-blade razor, a weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and a travel cover for just $3 at harrys.com. Harry's has the highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry with a no-risk trial. Don't like your shave? No worries. It's on them. They also have convenient subscription options that you can cancel at any time.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Get the shaving products at Always Deliver. Get Harry's. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com. That's harrys.com. That's harrys.com. For a $3 trial set. Now on to the rest of the episode. I tried to catch cats. Neighborhood cats. I tried to catch them.
Starting point is 01:04:17 And I hate cats. No, I don't. What kind of cat? Like wild cats. Like neighborhood cats. The animal. Yeah. Oh, come on now. You said oh, I try to catch
Starting point is 01:04:30 They know where to get their fix no I dead ass would like chase cats that's Strange bro. It's like okay for all the things you said like we're I feel we're equally as weird Yeah, it's just different sides of the spectrum. Yeah, true. Like, mine's a little darker. Mine's very strange. You're like, let me drive. Yeah. I'm like, I want to experience this. Mine's weird.
Starting point is 01:04:52 But you're equally as weird, but like on a more artistic form. Yeah. Creative. What were you going to do when you caught the cat? Put it back. Put it back, right? So why'd you ever do it? Oh, I never caught one.
Starting point is 01:05:02 It was always the thrill of the chase. I like mastered my meow, though. Meow. See how good that was? Meow. That's pretty good. And I'd be like, come on, get it. I used to try to play hide and seek with my cat, but it never, I mean.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Didn't your cat die of liver disease? Severe liver disease. My cat died of severe liver disease, and we buried her in the backyard in a copy paper box that my dad sawed off and made it in the shape of a coffin. I don't get no word for this. I swear to God, that's real. Did it stink? It was in a copy paper box, because my mom works at an office.
Starting point is 01:05:38 So she got a free box, right? Like, literally, I'm talking like the office. Yeah. All those paper stuff. She got a box, brought it back. My dad saw it off the edges, made it a little tombstone coffin thing. And then I took a big, big, fat Sharpie and wrote, RIP Sammy, we'll always love you.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Broke down in tears, and my dad went in the back with a shovel and buried the cat in the yard. Dude, I tried to do, like, a funeral for my turtles that got slaughtered. We had to do a closed casket, brother. It was like an empty shell in one arm. I was like, damn. What'd you put them in? Like a gallon Ziploc bag?
Starting point is 01:06:09 A Walmart bag. We had so many Walmart bags in one drawer. I'd be like, that one. I think my mom just threw it away, though. I hope she did. Oh, my God. If there's turtle remains in your backyard. Oh, there's a full-blown cat skeleton in mine.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Oh, I told you about my grandparents' house. They got a dog cemetery back there, and it stinks. Yeah, that's wicked. That tree, yeah. Would you bury me in your backyard? No. Can you do that? Is it legal?
Starting point is 01:06:37 I don't even think that is. If you found... Okay. This is dark. This is like an age-old question. We're going to rotate. Age-old question. You're in your backyard, right? You love my backyard. You buy a new house. You don't have a yard right now. So it's interesting. You said that yes, I do
Starting point is 01:06:49 You don't have a yard. Yes. I do. You have a bush and steps That's a yard yards not about size yard is a yard. You have a yard. Yes of a front yard Can you lay down in your yard? Yes, 100% I can 100% I can lay down lay what else can you do run around yeah yeah you can lay down and then like kind of get up like a sit-up i didn't say how far i was running i have a yard i do cam is that not if there's grass and bushes separating my door from a sidewalk is that not a front yard i don't know brother sorry black people can have nice things bro regardless say you buy a house right you have a a real backyard fenced in grass plenty of it i have a fence you have a fence you have a fence bro there's not a fence in my front yard you don't have that's not your fence when you have your yard why pay hoa for that fence no you pay hoA for that fence?
Starting point is 01:07:45 No. You pay HOA for the landscaping services where they clean up the courtyard. Oh, what are they landscaping? The courtyard. That's separated by the fence. It separates my front yard from the... The joint custody lawn that they put so people's dogs can shit. You want to be specific. Don't be mad because your dog made every dog get fleas, brother.
Starting point is 01:08:06 If you bought a new house, go to the backyard. You want to do renovations. You're like, I say I want to get a pool, but I'm going to dig myself a little bit first before I pay someone. God bless. Dink, dink. What the hell? Dink. Open it up.
Starting point is 01:08:18 A big, like, metal-proof box. Loaded pistol. $100,000 cash. Wow. Two secret, and a passport. Do you call that in, or do you go through it? I take the $100,000, I plant the pistol on you, and I call in the passport. Oh my God, what? What?
Starting point is 01:08:37 He'd take his back pack. You gotta literally check his car right now, right now. You're like this, check his car. I'm like, what do you mean check my car? They open it up, they're like, oh my God. What would you actually do? I would take the $100,000 and call in the rest. It's cash.
Starting point is 01:08:53 Okay, but what if there was like cash stains in the box that said, sir, there's clearly some money here. Where is it? I said, clearly it was gone. Clearly not. I opened the box. I saw a passport and a gun. That's your job. That's your job, Phil.
Starting point is 01:09:01 You go, what do I look like? You know what I don't get? Is when people like find like a million dollars or like two hundred thousand dollars and they they call it into the police idiots who are you dude i read one peter pan i i read a story now this is a bit different i read a story a guy found a stash of booger sugar a lot of it oh yeah throw that away and He called it in, and it was like equate to over a million dollars. It was like a shipment. Called it in, the police department gave him a bike. They gave him a bicycle.
Starting point is 01:09:35 I'm like, you could have been set for generations. Go get a tattoo, change your name to Pablo, and get to work. Sorry. Okay, call in the... You don't want that because you're messing with the, call in the. You don't want that because you're messing with the higher ups money. You don't want to do that.
Starting point is 01:09:47 Call in the paraphernalia, but keep the money. Yeah. They gave him a bike. No, that's sick. They gave him a long noose. That's sick. I'd give him back.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Take me to jail. I'd be like, give me just like a thousand bucks. I don't need a bike. I have a Toyota. I generally don't, like maybe I'm an evil, vindictive, evil person,
Starting point is 01:10:01 but if somebody leaves that much money, that's not my responsibility to like find out the rightful because it's cash there's no name on it i always said if i found that like you walk into an airport bathroom there's like 20 grand in the back of the toilet it's mine it is 100 it's mine straight in my backpack like i used to i get on that plane like this just smiling the whole time i used to stock atms to see if anybody like would fall out now that's a that now that's that's criminal i didn would fall out. Now, that's criminal.
Starting point is 01:10:25 No, it's not. No, that's criminal. No, it's not. No, it is. I would just drive past ATMs. I would check the little thing. If nobody didn't grab their money all the way out. If you see a black Tahoe following you for the next couple days,
Starting point is 01:10:36 your FBI agent heard what you just said. I never found anything. But one time in Target, I was following, like I was a kid, right? And I was following this lady out, right? Not following her. My God, dude. My God. Hey, title of this week's episode, I'm a creep.
Starting point is 01:10:52 I am a creep bag. Episode 128. No, I just so happened, I was with my mommy, and we were leaving the Target, and the other people were leaving the Target as well. And I was in my own world. I was thinking about Zac Efron shirtless on my wall. And so I had, I swear to God, you know that coveted thing where he was like this? And like pulling down.
Starting point is 01:11:12 That's the first V-line I saw. I said, I want one of those. You know what I mean? Yeah, you had a crush on Queen Latifah, so. Queen Latifah and Ashley Tisdale. It's a strange dichotomy right there. And Yugi. Huh?
Starting point is 01:11:25 From Yu-Gi-Oh. The man? He fought strange dichotomy right there. Yugi. Huh? From you. The man, he fought for honor and respect. And I appreciate that. That's awesome. I didn't have a crush on him, but I admired him. But the real ones know that it was always Kaiba.
Starting point is 01:11:36 But I saw, I was, I was, I was like in my own world thinking about Disney channel and like, uh, my, my crush that I used to sing to when I was home alone and hoping she could hear me i swear to god i used to sing high school musical love songs in my house when i was home alone like during the summer because i missed her because i only got
Starting point is 01:11:52 to see her during the school year and i didn't have a car i couldn't do anything and i would sing out to her i just hoped that she would feel it one day i swear to god but anyway so i was thinking about that maybe i do need a therapist yeah yeah there's no maybe anymore and i was following this family out like i I was leaving with them. And it just so happened I saw $100 slowly hit the ground like that. My first thought was, that's my $100. I can buy so many more Zac Efron posters. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:12:17 I will tear a Walmart up. You know what I mean? Yeah, let me get all of them. They go, sir, that's seven of the same posters you got. Mind your business. And then the teen magazine, you remember that the pink one i'll be like cut that i'm sorry sorry that was too much and i could buy anything with this anything anything and so i grabbed it but as soon as i grabbed it, I remembered that had to have been the lady in front of me.
Starting point is 01:12:46 Because it was just floating down. Right? But then I had this weird thought in my mind of how can I prove that? Because I physically did not see her drop that. And any person would want a free 100. So if I went and asked her, like, hey, did you drop this 100? She'd say yes. I'd say yes, because I would say yes. I would say yes. So I didn't give it to her as you should i put it in my pocket now am i wrong
Starting point is 01:13:10 no because if you think rationally 99 it's hers yeah so am i a thief i think it was simply god blessed you well you steal anyway so you can't cam stole a in college so much medicine we never got a cold yeah i was always healthy but i had a i had a treasure chest of uh over the counters i have a question what what happened what happened your ass crack is sweaty I can't even begin to explain the thought process of what I had when it just happened. Okay. But I just immediately picture, like, what if you were a superhero? Like, what? Just everything about it.
Starting point is 01:13:54 What would your name be? What would your power be? What would your costume be? Holy shit! Can we please do that? Please. I love that. If you were a superhero, my super guy? First off, what's your name? Holy shit Can we please do that Please I love that If you were a superhero
Starting point is 01:14:06 My super guy First off What's your name Not even the power What is your name What is your name Oh my god Uh
Starting point is 01:14:14 Oh my god Paid a waiter Paid a waiter 100% Paid a waiter Paid a waiter help Yeah what's your theme song Paid a waiter
Starting point is 01:14:21 Coming to help Paid a waiter He needs some help. You know what I mean? That's fire. Thank you. It's like a vacuum service. Peta Waita, cleaning your sheets. Peta Waita.
Starting point is 01:14:36 Okay, Peta Waita. Peta Waita, coming to help. Peta Waita, he needs some help. That's your song. What is the costume? What are you wearing when you're shaving kittens out of a tree? Oh, I'm in a thong. Okay, it's weird that you said the kids thing because I was already planning- I said kittens, you creep! I said kittens! Yo!
Starting point is 01:14:52 He needs help! I said kittens! I thought you said kids out of the tree. Why are kids in a tree? Why are kids in a tree? I built a treehouse one time, fell through it. Because I only had two planks. It wasn't really a house, it was more of like a lawn. It was like a balcony. And so my grandma's house put two things. I fell. Shit hurt.
Starting point is 01:15:12 I'd be in a thong, so you could see all my weird leg hair patterns. Like, why is there so much hair there, and it's bald right there? It's bald right there, okay. Yeah, so what color, though? Do you have a cape? Do you have a cool staff you hold? Like, I need the whole decor. It would be like a bright red thong.
Starting point is 01:15:30 I would have bet a million dollars you're going to say black. Bright red. Bright red because I want you to. It's always your red panty night when you're coming to save people. Because I am sex. You're like I saved you and how are you going to repay me? And then like a crop top like cape. So it goes right above like my lower back so you see that hair.
Starting point is 01:15:46 They can see the navel. But Swayze, your nipples are out. Oh, I'm out. So there's a half cape. It's like a linebacker pad. Like sometimes when they wear it. Okay, so you have a back pad. And I don't have boots on.
Starting point is 01:15:57 I just have my socks. It matches me. What's your power? What's your power? Shit. What is your power? You need to really think about this. What's your power? I got like two? Shit. What is your power? You need to really think about this. What's your power?
Starting point is 01:16:05 I got like two more questions and then we just built a superhero. Like, I actually want you to tell me what you think my power would be. Oh, I have so many things. Yeah, tell me. Originally, I was thinking like,
Starting point is 01:16:17 like tele, like tele, like tele, it'd either be telekinetic, telekinesis, like you could hear things, you could move things. I was thinking some of that
Starting point is 01:16:25 because we can't give you anything physical. Okay, yeah. It just doesn't match. But the problem is, if that was my super... You can move things with your mind. If that was my superpower, I could hear things,
Starting point is 01:16:33 but I would still be me, so I couldn't tell if I'm actually hearing something or it's the voices in my head. So I have so many false saving things. I could just show up to somebody's house. They're just like, what the f***?
Starting point is 01:16:44 It's just like a big hairy sock guy with a thong. You're just like, pay to wait, huh? You're like, who the f***? He's just like pointing a sawed off right at you. Oh my god. Oh my god, let's even further the roleplay. How would you convince a civilian that you were a superhero? They think you're on like shrooms.
Starting point is 01:17:05 They think you're just floating. They just see a naked light skin with a bright red thong, a crop top cape and dirty socks. And you're over here trying to save them. My hair's never done. There it is. That's your power.
Starting point is 01:17:21 Oh my god. Someone please make this a little animation. So your power is you can see into the future. Okay. So your whole niche is niche. Niche. Niche. Motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:17:32 Your whole niche is you can see into the future. Right. You don't even have to be present. Okay. So it can be right here. Say down at the 7-Eleven. Right now, you get a tingly feeling that someone's about to get robbed. Okay.
Starting point is 01:17:42 So you're like, okay, it's 10 minutes out of robbing at the 7-Eleven. Do I have to run? That's what you can't fly. You're like this. You're like, hey, he's about to rob you. They're like, get back. You're like, I don't have any quarters, guy. You good?
Starting point is 01:17:57 I smell like shit. Oh, God. You stink like hell. Oh, my God. So that's your niche. Okay. You can see into the future. You save, like, petty crime. Like, you're not, like, we're not calling if Thandos comes, right? You're just, like,'s your niche. Okay. You can see into the future. You save like petty crime.
Starting point is 01:18:05 Like you're not like we're not calling if Thanos comes right? You're just like a petty hero. You save petty crime. Casuals. You see in the future. How do you convince someone that you're about to save them? But they don't like they just think you're an insane freak. Okay, let's play like you're the person that needs saving. Like I know you're about to get arrested. Let's say you had to traverse half a mile. So half a mile on like a speed six jog. And you just pull like... Okay. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:18:32 Pay it away, uh! Oh, f***! What's that? You have to sing your own song! You're like this... Pay it away, uh don't need any help And they're just like What the
Starting point is 01:18:48 So I get this song out right Okay go Pain away now Coming out Pain away now Coming to help I don't know what the song was What are you doing
Starting point is 01:18:58 Hey I'm recording you man Get back Point the camera over there Don't tell me what to do Where's your clothes I'm a superhero, man. Get back. Point the camera over there. Don't tell me what to do. Where's your clothes? I'm a superhero. You're a what?
Starting point is 01:19:11 Janet, call 911. Somebody call the cops. No, call the cops. I am the cops. Oh, no. No, call the cops now. Wait. Hey, I'm warning you.
Starting point is 01:19:19 I got something on me, pal. Wait. You know what? Don't put your hands up at me. I'm a superhero. No, you're not. Yes, I am. No, you're in Dallas.. I'm a superhero. No, you're not. Yes, I am. No, you're in Dallas. You're not a superhero.
Starting point is 01:19:28 What are you saving? Huh? You. You're saving me. I haven't thought about you. You think about me. Get him out of here. Where's the cops, Janet?
Starting point is 01:19:37 Your light is bright. What? Your light is too bright. Yeah, your personality is too bright. What are you on right now? Are those socks? Are those... What are you on right now? Are those socks? Are those... Who are you?
Starting point is 01:19:49 Get away from my camera. Just let me explain. Okay, why are you so out of breath? I can't hear you. I don't have the ability to fly yet. You don't have the ability to shit. My superpowers, I can think of in the future. You can think? Hey, we all can, buddy. What's so super about that? But I know it's about to happen.
Starting point is 01:20:06 Where are the police? Where are they? I work with them. Oh, you work with them. Where's your badge? Huh? Is it in your little thong? Huh? Is that what that bulge is? That's your badge? That's my identity. Oh, okay. Do you want to see? Do I want to see?
Starting point is 01:20:22 Are you a superhero? You failed. I would have already got shanked in the back. I'm robbed. And you were asking me to see your Johnson. That's not my fault. It's not your fault. So you suck at saving people. No, I'm good if they believe me.
Starting point is 01:20:34 Okay, you get one more chance. Go. Right where we just picked up. Go. That guy's going to hit you. Why would he do that? I think I'm going to hit you if you don't stop this. He's a criminal.
Starting point is 01:20:45 You're a criminal. You are livid. That is public indecency. You don't even have a wallet. What are you doing here? Where's your wallet? You're a man, right? Where's your wallet?
Starting point is 01:20:55 Why do I need a billfold? Where's your wallet? Who are you? I see a sweaty, tall, long creep in a thong. I'm paid away. You're touching your chest. I'm paid away. You're paid away touching your chest. I'm paid away to- You're paid away to-
Starting point is 01:21:06 The superhero that knows you're about to get- What's that, your dealer's name? Who are you? You're about to get crimed on. I'm about to get creamed on? What'd you just say? What'd you say to me? You're about to get crimed on.
Starting point is 01:21:18 I'm about to get crim- What are you looking- You failed to save me. Oh, you're going to throw your hands up like I told you so. How about you save me? Oh, you're going to throw your hands up like I told you so. How about you save me? Oh, I can't fight. What is your power then? You just alert them?
Starting point is 01:21:31 Yeah, run, bitch. Worst superhero ever. Oh, my God. All right, it's clear to say you'd literally be the worst superhero of all time. I think I'd be a fantastic superhero. I think you'd actually cause more crime to happen because you'd confuse the show. You would enjoy seeing me in a thong saving your life.
Starting point is 01:21:49 I would like it, but others wouldn't. But, you know who is a true superhero that helps people every single week? I think I know who you're talking about. Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Straight. P, Dr. P, Dr. P.
Starting point is 01:22:07 Dr. P. Strike two, it's on. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm always ready. Dear Dr. P. Hello. Me and my best friend like this girl.
Starting point is 01:22:15 Okay. He doesn't know that I like her as well, though. Oh. He really, really likes her. Those two reallys. Does he not? He shot his shot and got shot down. Oh. The problem is she really and got shot down. Oh.
Starting point is 01:22:26 The problem is she really seems to like me. Oh, yes. Always looking at me, smiling, waving, et cetera. God damn right she is. I think my friend still really likes her. Okay. So what should I do? P.S.
Starting point is 01:22:40 I'm very lonely and never had a girlfriend before. So he's fiending for it, but he's trying to stick to the bro code. Fiend. Fiend. Fiend. Fiend. Fiend. I say this. There's two answers. Okay. I'm going to give the Dr. P answer first. Okay.
Starting point is 01:22:56 Dr. P answer is, hey, are you really close with your friend? Let's think about it. Yeah. What is he doing for you? You know what I mean? You know, so you're honestly hindering that girl's life and your life if you're just going off the fact that your friend's ugly. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:23:14 I feel that. I feel that. So you go that route, and you're like, hey, brother, just because you got shut down doesn't mean you should take away from two souls to be happy. 100%. Real man, real shit. You just go up to your friend and be like, hey, brother,
Starting point is 01:23:24 sorry you couldn't get it done. Maybe take notes for the next girl. Watch this, though. Watch this, though. You go up, you steal, and it's not even a steal. You're just kind of picking up. You're rebounding. You take what's yours.
Starting point is 01:23:35 Your friend can't shoot. He air balls. Hit the side of the backboard. You're Charles Barkley. You're grabbing the board. You're going up. You're snagging a Dennis Rodman, 25 a game. Hello, good morning to you.
Starting point is 01:23:43 He's a double-double king. Easy. That's what I would advise to do. Okay. Because your happiness and that girl's happiness shouldn't depend on your friend not being able to shoot a shot well. This isn't a codependence happiness type of life. And you knew, it seemed like you and your best friend had that conversation
Starting point is 01:23:57 of we both like this girl. So he did the same thing. No, no. He stated I don't think my friend knows that I like her too. I thought they said that we both like her. No no he said me and my friend both like this girl but he doesn't know that i do oh friends and friends blind friends book of eli not seeing anything hmm i just got that's hilarious that's great um yeah dude i say i say go for it and then if it works out just be like hey bro i didn't even know you shot your shot i didn't know that happened my fault could never tell could never tell the way she was acting she was always giving me attention i thought she was just in the dust
Starting point is 01:24:36 said my fault bro i thought this is our shit from the jump but if you want like a wholesome answer which is not dr p but i'm feeling dr p's feeling a little good, you know, about helping. Take that and bury it somewhere else. You're Dr. P. You don't give a wholesome. And then do it in front. Sit. Mm-mm-mm.
Starting point is 01:24:51 Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. You sick, man. And that was... Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.
Starting point is 01:25:03 Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.
Starting point is 01:25:04 Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Coach Kim, get us out of here. Of course, my lord, my pleasure. Thank you for coming back to another episode of the You Should Know Podcast, episode 128. It was fantastic. We love reading all the comments.
Starting point is 01:25:19 We love seeing all the love, and we appreciate it more than you can ever know. Thank you again for buying the merch. It is now done. It is sold out. The pre-sale is gone. You had a week. If you didn't, be on the lookout for the next one. But for all of our people that watch this episode and you want to confuse the casuals
Starting point is 01:25:37 and bring in new people to the family, get your good karma and confuse them with this week's secret code of CTC. You should know what it means because it's the clear victor. CTC. Captain. Captain Tenacity Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Starting point is 01:25:54 CTC. Leave it on the Instagram reels, TikTok, on Facebook. Put it in the Patreon. Put it on the full link. Leave it everywhere. Send this to your mom, your auntie, your grandma, your biggest hater, and your best friend. Make sure you hit that because YouTube's not sending it out to all the subscribers.
Starting point is 01:26:08 I've gotten that DM. So hit that bell button so you get the episode, you get the alert every week. Do that on Spotify, too, iTunes, and on the full-length episodes here on YouTube. And a lot of cool stuff coming in the next couple weeks. Very, very soon. Remember how we said we're dropping those breadcrumbs Breadcrumbs are coming we're getting close to the oven You're about to see the whole loaf
Starting point is 01:26:28 And we're about to put 450 FPS I don't know I've never baked anything Anyway we love you so much Thank you for coming back cannot wait to see you next week on episode 129 And remember 1 out of 10 koala bears Come on I'm an athlete Don't make it home to Christmas and and we will see you next time.
Starting point is 01:26:47 No, Cocoa Puffs do suck. Yeah, so do you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.