You Should Know Podcast - WALKING IN ON MY BEST FRIEND! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

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What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. The You Should Know Podcast. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to The You Should Know Podcast, episode 119.

Round of applause, please. That's nice. That's nice. I like the dogs. Okay. All right. All right. We're going to get it.

Okay. Okay. All right. Thank you. We're going to get evicted. This will be our last episode in this building because we're going to get evicted. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the usual podcast episode 119.

If you're new here, if you haven't already, look below you subscribe button isn't pressed. You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you say a comment section isn't fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. Phoenix, Vegas, you were great. Fantastic.

Not going to lie to you, we haven't done it yet. It's pre-recorded and we're on tour. But I'm sure y'all are fantastic. Every city we've done on tour has been amazing. We've had the best time of our lives this summer doing this summer tour. And we are so grateful to everybody that has come to a show, spent your money, spent your time, and shared a night with us. We love you. We have one more show left.

Houston, Texas. We're bringing it to Houston, Texas to end the summer tour out. House of Blues, I believe it's sold out. Let's have a damn party. Let's have a celebration to enjoy this summer tour. The first time as a crew we've ever been on tour. We've had the best time ever. We love you guys so much.

Remember, join the Facebook, the Patreon, the Twitch, the Discord, the Snapchat. We are so grateful for you guys. We love you. We love you. We love you. We will miss you after this tour. But we got some new surprises coming for you. We're after tour ends. We're going back to work.

We're bringing new things to you. And things will never be the same. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. Are you not happy to be here? I am. They were saying some hateful things.

They were saying it's like Philly all over again. Yeah, it's like Philly part two, but it's in my own city, in my own... I like your outfit today. Thank you. I like yours. So, well, that's a given. You have a crop top with Vans and some nice jeans. The only thing is, I'm wearing the crop top.

Normally, I pair the crop top with a good undie. You do. What do you got today? Show them that douche. You want to see the douche? I want to see the douche. I got on... You got the...

RBX... Kenny X. I got on. You got the. RBX. Kenny X. I got the TJ Maxx specials. Hey, they're soft. Microfiber is at 87% on those. Is that a fact? Absolutely not. Is it polyester?

Probably so. Makes the tip of my penis burn a little bit. You need to get checked. You need medication. Oh, yes. Oh, good morning. Oh, yes. You ever had a scare?

Does it curve? I could catch a bass. Stop. You're not a fisherman. Have you ever had a scare? No. In terms of sexual relations? No, no, no.

You want my answer? I was talking about like... You want me to bust it open, give you a real answer? I love it when you bust it open. Bust that can... Cameron, how you doing, bubba? How's tour going for you so far? Tour, man.

You can attest to it, too. The tour's been so much fun. Amen, Jesus! I'm attesting. Okay. Can I get an amen, brother? It might be racist coming from you. Alright, bro. You ever been to a black church? I have. Who was it? And one time, I went, and it was the first time there. I was the only white guy there. Okay.

They said, do we have any new members of the congregation today? I don't like the accent. Not quite sure if that's okay. Do we got any new members of the congregation today? I don't like the accent. Not quite sure if that's okay. Do we got any new brothers or sisters here this morning? Praise in God. Yes, sir. And I went, hell yeah.

It's me. I was wearing a pink polo. Only white guys stood up, tall, lanky, no facial hair, young, pink polo. Was it Easter? So many people looked at me like. Was it Easter? No. It was at me like... Was it Easter? No. It was just regular Sunday.

You usually wear... I think it was like August. Okay, this black church you visited. It was fantastic. Did it have AC? It had AC. No, you didn't go to a good one. I was sitting in the pew for three and a half hours.

Okay, I was going to say, how long was it? Duration was equivalent to me checking off almost three weeks of my normal church. I learned a lot that day. They were like, why are... I sung so many hymns. He said, why are there drums? I go, wait, why is that guy in that cool little robe thing? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I smell turkey. There's always a Sister Williams in the church. Always. Sister Williams, Sister Johnson. You can't say that. Why? So you can say that?

Yes. Why? Because I'm from a Why My family's the Williams Is that right Are they not Yes Harden What's my mom's maiden name

Williams But you're enjoying tourism Olivia's a Johnson Y'all not related If you were I would have questions Now we're related Through marital status You're not related when you're married're married not related we're now we're related through marital status you are not related when you're married one you're not related we are conjoined you're not related we're

one you're not related to the family so i am related you're not related to the family i i am literally the actual the actual title of me is son-in-law what is a son is a son related to his mother by law i am now a son. By law, I'm a brother. Meaning, I am related. That is my family. Then you're not related. When you get married, you are now related to your significant other's family. Literally through the law.

If you are related, your kid would come out with three eyes. Okay, see, now that's a deep, that's a dark point you got there. We didn't come out of the same womb. So you're not related. Via law, I am now related. So we're related. Son, in-law. Brother, in-law. So we're related. Cousin, in-law. We didn't come out of the same womb. So you're not related. But via law I am now related. So we're related. Son in law. Brother in law. So we're related. Cousin in law. We're related then.

How? Just as much as you and Liz family are related. No we're not. How? There's no law that says we're. There's law. There is legislation that says I'm related to Tony Johnson. So I could go sign a. To Kristen Pelletier. So I can sign a paper and be related to you. Yes. That's so. That's not real

that's law isn't that weird law government like making you related or like government making you married i don't know if i believe it i still don't have i don't this whole rules thing i mean it's in general rules are strange i understand 10 commandments like it came there god bless you hello drink the bread he was on a mountain with a big stone, right? But after that, it's like government, democracy. Kind of needed though, no? 100% needed, but it's like, how did it begin? How did it begin? Slavery.

Yes, but there was a king and he just started making things and you had to do it or you would get. Isn't that crazy? Okay. I saw a cop at a laundromat and I was like, if you weren't on duty, you could tell me what to do. If you were on duty, you could tell me what to do. And now we're pushing quarters in the same machine right here. No, I actually don't believe that either, though.

Just because a cop's on duty, I don't think you have to. You do have to listen to him. I don't know. I think that is the law. Well, you don't. No. You'll be like, are you kidding me? I go, get off my car, jack wagon.

You're like, you know my dad is i go speed my ass where's the laser i don't like him either you know i'm gonna see your ass what's your badge number no i'm saying you don't have to listen to what he says if there's not probably like yes you do no you don't bro he's not i do the cut no i sure do it's a smart thing but legally if you are not in trouble you've not broken any law two different lives you're making this you are making this different for no reason i'm saying if you and a cop are in a laundromat he goes get on your hands and knees i'd be like all righty but you don't have to why not because i'd say for what like why you can you can too i love when you tell me to do that, though. And I'm like, wink, wink.

Back to the king people. I had this thought the other day. And it's... Go talk to me. Speak to me. It's kind of dark, so I'm going to use language that won't have to be... Exiled. Demonetization-wise. Good morning to you.

Thank you for the money. The first person to unalive someone else, right? Savage. Confusion. Had to be a little bit. Had a little bit he's getting mad at the guy he starts punching him the dude never wakes up he's just like he's like ray like ray ray he just never won't come back that guy's he is confused that is a great person to just manhandle someone to unaliveness, he had to have gone home and cried in the shower. There's no way.

Is it maybe an instinctual thing? No. Like you know I'm alive and he's dead. I'm talking the first death via man ever. That is pure confusion. It had to have been. You wrestle off and you tussle, but then one time the guy never wakes back up. That might be.

There's never another argument. It had to be a Weekend at Bernie's situation. Like, he had to realize that he did something bad and that man's not waking up, so he put sunglasses on him, put him in the back of the Corolla, and took him around places. Okay, I was confused for a second. I got a lot of kids in here. I don't know what Weekend at Bernie's is.

I was confused for a second. Weekend at Bernie's. I would do that with you. Wouldn't that be scary, though? Just think about nowadays. Think about you're fighting someone. That one hit lands perfect and it's done. That's why I would do that with you. Wouldn't that be scary, though? Just think about nowadays. Think about you're fighting someone. That one hit lands perfect, and it's done. That's why I don't fight.

That's scary. I don't believe in street fighting. It's too much to lose, not enough to gain. Way too much. Tour. Fantastic. Going on tour is fantastic. I didn't ask you that.

You said, how was your week? I never said that. I never said that. Oh, my God. All three of you are deaf. Deaf. of you are death death i asked you about tour you said how's your week bubba how's tour going put money on it how much any any number in the world put more money on there like a different like like i don't have as much as you do that's not true it's oh my goodness it's no it's No, it's not. You literally have no idea.

Oh my god, but I do! Oh my god! Are you insane? No, you don't. Yes, I do. Yeah, scratch that scalp and change the topic. Anyway. Show him your hair. No. Show him your hair. He'll get there. You look like a small forward slash power forward for the New Orleans Pelicans.

That's what you look like. Take your hat off. Isn't it crazy? What? I don't know. Tour, right? We had a show in, where did we just come from? Chicago. Chicago.

We had a show in Chicago, right? And I look at, every time we get off stage, I go immediately to Instagram and I look at all the tagged videos. It is immediate. It is immediate. It's sometimes during the show. and I look at all the tagged videos. You do this immediately. It is. It's sometimes working. I'm like, dog, great shit. You're like, yeah, bro. It's cool.

I'm like, golly. No, you love me first. In the intermission, you came in and you said the fact that you're on your phone right now. Yeah, bro. I'm not going to say it for y'all, but there's a part. I went backstage. I said, the fact that you are scrolling through medias that are social right now is insane i'm like damn lebron i'm pacing farting shit drinking a little miller but at

that point of the show i'm like that's whenever i calm down is that that part of the show but i always were in sync we were in sync as hell that was great that was there's a compilation of us being in sync is it really bye bye bye Timberlake, he had a party pack in his system, right? It's not your fault, Jen. I'm sure. I want to take you down to the end of the road. Not quite sure about that tune. It's not a real song.

Justin Timberlake. Oh, God. He had everything in him. Oh, percolator. He could have got... And he would be alive. He would have... He would have bled.

His blood would have been creamy and white. That... Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? You are Cameron Dahmer. Cameron Dahmer. I was trying to make a joke on substances. His blood would be mixed with white substance.

There's so much in his... You know what? I'm done. It's okay. No, I was trying to get you there. You'd have been okay. It's okay. I hope he's okay, and I'm glad he didn't hurt anybody.

Call an Uber. Did you see the first clip of him out when he performed uh-uh what'd he do he just still has it all in him he just got arrested for that shit he got released immediately went and performed he was like like oh really oh yeah he was tweaked bro that's nice no it's not well i hope he's okay yeah he didn't hurt nobody you don't know that well i don't know he did exactly for us all right now i think he didn't guilty until. You don't know that. Well, I don't know he did. Exactly. So right now, I think he didn't. Guilty until proven innocent. That's a horrible way to live life.

Let's ask backwards. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Rocket Money. Pete, do you ever find subscriptions that you didn't even know you were paying for? All the time, and it is hurting to my feelings. How does it make you feel? Hurt in my feelings and my bank account you want to know a fun stat yes over 74 percent of people that's a lot have

forgotten about subscriptions that they're signed up for and currently paying on every single month that makes sense to me because i know a lot of people that have forgotten about subscriptions i forgot about subscriptions but thankfully there has to be a solution right of course and that solution is rocket money rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps you lower bills so that you can grow your savings with rocket money i have full control over my subscriptions and a clear view of my expenses i can see all of my subscriptions in one place and if i see something i don't want rocket money can help me cancel it with a few taps. Oh my god, that

honestly is my favorite part. It doesn't just show you and then you got to go through all the loopholes and call this person and call that company. No, no, you can cancel it straight from the app. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year while using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash YSK. That's rocketmoney.com

slash YSK. One more time. One more time for everyone in the back. rocketmoney.com slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Tour. God slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. Tour. God bless me.

Go Chicago. I look at the videos. People tag us in. I like their perspective. How did we look? Is my outfit as good as I think? I have an issue and I want to address it. And I've seen it.

I've seen people talk about it. And I saw seen it. I've seen people talk about it. And I saw it for myself whenever I was tagging these videos. I'm not balding, okay? Let's put that out there. I am not balding on the top of my head. No, I'm not. I saw some videos. I saw some videos.

My question is, how'd they even get an aerial view of your dome? No, it's because I bend over a lot in the show, in the projector, I'm looking up and then whenever I- You're like, man. My God, what if it was like a ball? Bro, have you seen the videos? No. It literally, you can see my scalp. Dude, it pisses me off.

It's because my hair is so long right now. And right before the show, I wet it, and so it all drips down, and it just lays down, and it just parts the red C in the middle. And it looks like I got a donut in the middle of my head. They can see what you're thinking. And I've been so self-conscious that there's thousands of people now that have videos on their phone of me looking like I'm bald.

Let's get a preview. Look, I have so much hair. So much hair. There's no bald spot. No bald spot. A lot of hair looking like I'm bald. Let's get a preview. Look, I have so much hair. So much hair. There's no bald spot. No bald spot. A lot of hair. A lot of hair. It's for a reason.

You'll see after tour. Good morning to you. I already know what it is. Good morning to you. Good morning to you. You know, how was your week? How did you like Chicago? I love Chicago.

Let's flip that coin and flip it back on you. So many little kids selling chocolate on the streets of Chicago. How many AAU teams do you have, Chicago? Every single block. Chocolate for my team, chocolate for the jerseys. I'm like, damn. I'm like, I got a local 64 team tournament going on. And I'm used

to that. It's happened so many times. I'll just be like, I got it on me, whatever, whatever. It sucks when they know who y'all are. We're going inside of a store and they're like, y'all done podcast. I know y'all can. i know y'all i know y'all can bless us so i was like ah i said oh i gotta go in here and then it was my dumb ass i said i don't have cash oh we take zale cash half every time i said damn it and okay and one thing in

chicago right i've never been never heard of it well i've heard of it hottest shit oh my god why thought it was cold that has to be the global warming yeah like they're not to get political yeah or partial i'm thinking they turned up the microwave heat some guy in power hit that knob a couple degrees too much 320 watts is what's regular we have 450 preheat bake in the oven right before you put the what in there? The pretzels? Yeah. In the oven?

Yeah. Which means they're dough? Oops. Because you're having to cook it? Oops. Because potato chips you don't put in the oven. You drop it in grease. You drop it and you fry them and you make the chip.

Okay. A pretzel's dough. Dough is what you put in the oven to bake something to its fullest form. Oh, oh my God. Guess what? Quick callback. Oh, guess what? Are there multiple different types of pretzels?

Are there not? You put chips in the oven? Answer me that. No. Did you put the little golden, the golden rolls in oven? Do you do that? What? The golden rolls.

What the hell is a golden roll? In the munch, in the, like, you know, in the, in the variety pack, the golden rolls. It's called rolled gold. I'm dyslexic, all right? That's a pretzel that's already been made. That's what I'm talking about. Those are chips. We're not doing this.

We're not doing this. Just go. Just let me finish my damn story. Go. We were in Chicago. Yes. We landed. I didn't know there was an ocean in Chicago.

There's not. Big lake. Big lake. It's not an Big lake. Big lake. It's not an ocean. Literally the lake of Michigan. I have been in a few lakes in my life. Yes. They're brown, and I can see the end.

Yes. That was a f***ing ocean. Lake Michigan. What's the difference between a lake and an ocean? You're kidding? I'm dead ass. Because if the lake that was in Chicago is a lake, I don't know what a lake in an ocean is.

A lake is completely enclosed by land. Isn't everything enclosed by land? Are you f***ing with me right now? Technically, everything is enclosed by land. No, all of land is enclosed by water. Hold on, are we doing a riddle? If the earth is 70% water, how in the hell would you say the 30% is enclosing the 70?

The 70 is enclosing the 30. Yes or no, when we were in Chicago, did you see the other part of the land? On that ocean lake? It's a big ass lake. That's an ocean. That's a lake. Did it run out to something? To Canada.

Exactly. More land. Lake. Where was the cutoff? What are you saying? I don't know the difference. How is that? Yes or no, whenever you... A lake is inside land.

No, no, no. A lake is inside land. Have you walked past a lake before? Yes. What did it smell like? You're saying smell. No, tell me. What did the lake smell like at your hometown?

Nasty, dirty fish, ugly sand, and bottle caps. And what did the lake in Chicago smell like? Beautiful breezes. Ocean. Amazing people. Exactly. Seagulls. Exactly.

There were seagulls. There was boats. It's a big lake. How? It is. Oh, my God. Don't say anything else. Don't speak.

As a matter of fact, zip your lip. There you go. Throw that key. Lake is enclosed by land. I heard that. Okay. Everything is enclosed by land. I heard that. Everything is. Payton. Right now.

Go to the Gulf of Mexico. Go to Corpus Christi. It's not enclosed by land. Go to Corpus Christi. It's not enclosed by land. Listen to me. Go to Corpus Christi. It's not.

Okay. Say you're in the Gulf of Mexico, right? We're in Texas. The Gulf of Mexico. Yes. You were to get in the ocean and you were to to go sideways, all the way, you'd run into Florida. That's technically enclosed by land.

That is not enclosed by land. You'd run into more land. Enclosed? That's what's the difference. Running into more land than enclosed by land. To be enclosed in something. To be enclosed in something. Enclosed in it.

So there is- There's no escape. There is no escape. There will always be land, no matter, you can go a quarter of an inch in every direction. All the way. You're always going to run into land. The ocean, you can swim. You will eventually pull up on other land.

You're not enclosed by the land. There's private oceans, isn't there? There's private beaches. Private oceans. There's private beaches. Are you kidding me? Private oceans? There's private oceans.

I'm sorry. You can't afford to go there. I've been to a couple. Okay. Tax bracket joke. Okay. Must be nice. Private, there's private beaches. I've been to a couple. Okay. Tax bracket joke. Okay. Must be nice. There's private beaches.

Exactly. Connected to oceans. Okay, exactly. And it is enclosed. Private beaches are enclosed. The beach is enclosed, you dummy! And that's the ocean! No!

How is that not the ocean if it's a beach? So lakes have beaches. Lakes have beach? Yes. All right, bro. All right. You're an idiot. You're so stupid. You're an idiot. You're so stupid.

You're an idiot. That's why your long-ass van shoelaces are just dangling. And it makes me... Honestly, I'm starting to feel bad for you. You're wrong. There's nothing to feel bad about before. I feel bad for you. How do you feel bad about before?

It is beyond simple. Everything is enclosed. Okay, if you have a circle, if you have a circle, right? A literal circle. I know what a circle is. Let me see what you're saying. I don't know at this point. I don't know if you know anything. You have a circle. Yes. And it's made's i know what a circle is i don't know at this point i don't know if you know anything you have a circle yes and it's made of steel and it's a

hundred feet tall you're a human being sitting inside there can you get out of it if i go up if you climb shut up can you get out of it yes if i can if i can get out there's no doors no windows and it's it's it's a circle okay no okay that. Okay. That is enclosed. That's what lakes are. So imagine that... Lakes are open. Imagine that steel... Shut up. My God.

Imagine that steel is just land. The lake is you inside. Yes. You can swim around. You can hang out. You're always going to hit land. Ocean. Ocean.

Ocean. You will always touch. It's not enclosed. What's the difference between a lake and a pool, then? What? What's the difference between a lake and a pool then? What? What's the difference between a lake and a pool? One's a pool.

What's the difference? You put in your backyard for your kids. Charlie. What's the difference? And your golden retriever just jump in and feel good about himself.

What's the difference between a lake and a pool if they're both enclosed or both water? Both man-made. First off, not all lakes are man-made. How do you try you get there?

A lot of rain, natural formation of the land. It's going to hold. Fill up. Is under the soil right now, is there water? What? If it was just naturally there, if we dig deep enough, are we going to hit water? Yeah. What about the mantle?

Oh, what kind of shovel do you have what shovel do you have to where you're gonna tap on earth's crust are you nuts wait what are you going finding atlantis i've seen in science class they had the globe with the different layers and it had surface that is mud miles and miles below the surface so how close is the water how close is the water? How close is the water? Do you know Mariana Trench? Never met her. Sounds like a lovely lady, though. It's the deepest point that we have discovered in the ocean.

Oh, nice. Several miles down. And it's so many more miles before you touch a mantle. You're not listening to me. I'm saying we dig right now. We dig right now. You said we're going to hit water eventually. So is that above the mantle?

You're not ever going to touch the mantle. I'm saying if we could, brother. You can't, brother. You can't, partner. You can't do it. Enough of the pool shit, lake shit. You never answered my question. Oh my God, because one's a pool.

What do you mean, what's the difference? What's the difference? They're both enclosed. One's a pool that you make for fun. It's like 20 feet. You can make a lake for fun. So is God. Because one's a pool. Okay. What do you mean what's the difference? What's the difference? They're both enclosed. What's a pool that you make for fun? It's like 20 feet. You can make a lake for fun. So is a man-made lake a pool? Who are you?

Is a man-made lake a pool? No, it's a lake. Why? Because it's huge. I've seen big ass pools. Not as big as a lake. Schlitterbahn is bigger than some. Schlitterbahn's an entire amusement park.

It's a pool. Yes or no? You deserve to be struck. I won. You didn't win shit. you can't tell me the difference with a pool in a lake you tell me the difference there is none there's not that's what i'm saying there is none let's go to pool lewisville that's what i'm saying just because the name is different what is the difference between them answer my question answer my question shut off it's exactly

shut off not shut up shut off okay i have another question about the earth oh my god because we were flying right and i was very confused we were flying on a plane above the clouds yes like we're high my teeth hurt yes my cavity was and your breath was kicking your breath was rancid we're gonna talk about that flight but i was looking at a globe digitally on the Googles. I was looking at a globe on the Googles, 360, 3D. Yes. And I saw on top, right, you could see North America, Asia, Australia, all the continents, right?

Mm-hmm. I have a question. I have a quicker question. What are all seven continents? Okay. What are all seven continents okay what are all seven north america south america australia asia england

germany no it's one of those european little shits what's it called what's europe europe europe antarctica oh wow that was a shot in the dark and oh and what have i said so far north North America, South America, Africa. There you go. My ancestors. Took you about a minute and a half.

North America, South America, Europe and Australia, Africa, Europe and Africa, these are the seven continents. I have a question about the globe. Is there something on top of us? So, like, if you were to go into space, right, and you were to shoot down Earth. Yes. Is the land popped up a little bit off of the globe? Like, are we like a 3D on the globe?

Are we 3D? Are we flat on the globe? Like, you have to go into the globe and then touch us. So, that's the atmosphere is what you have to break through first. You'd feel that? Yes. So, it's almost like a little portal. You'd be like...

Kind of. If you could think... That was an accident. What? That was sexual and an accident. What? Did you just do speaking of our beautiful green earth? Oh God, don't do it again.

Yes, you'd break through the atmosphere. But in terms of our world and how far you could go up before you're in outer space, we are very smooth. So our atmosphere is very clear. We are very smooth. A lot of Windex on the atmosphere.

You could see through the atmosphere. Yes, depending on what part you're at. But I'm talking, when you go all the way up to space, you're like hundreds of miles up at that point. The highest peak on Earth is roughly five miles. A lot of this shit doesn't make sense to me i'm thinking the water would fall out gravity that's that's what

they say isn't it yeah gravity it's big question okay thank you i was trying to debate i really had a question about that because i was like where are we earth no i get that you honest to god i think i'm going to buy you a course a geography course i will never look at it think about it touch it see that's that's bullshit you don't want to get better no you don't want to cure yourself no you have no aspiration i don't want your western medicine teachings i don't want that i don't want your colonizing education this episode of you should know podcast is brought to you by our friends at shopify when i started podcasting an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now

I'm selling a lot. We're selling a lot of merch, all sorts of things. And it's so easy all because I use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business from the launch your online shop stage to the first real life store stage, all the way to did we just hit a million order stage? Shopify is there to help you grow. The thing I love about Shopify, it does not matter how big you are or how big you want your business to eventually get. It has everything for everybody at every level. That's why I love Shopify. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US. Plus Shopify's extensive help resources are there to support your success

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That's Shopify.com slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. But the airplane. Yeah. We went on an airplane, right? Me and Cam. And it was our first nighttime flight as adults.

Oh my God. So we had the bright idea. Let's have our first adult beverage in the sky. We've heard. Heard a lot. Boy, was it true. The quickest drunk I have ever been in my life. What's the science behind that?

I think it's because your brain's a little tight. Brain's tight. Ears are certainly clogged. Yeah. It's like every, like what? Every, I don't know. It's got to be like because you're so many thousand feet in the air. Yeah.

The altitude's thinner. The liquor goes straight to you. And it's nuts. I realized a couple things while we were drinking on that flight. It's got to be like, cause you're so many thousand feet in the air. Yeah. The altitude's thinner. The liquor goes straight to you. And it's nuts. I realized a couple of things while we were drinking on that flight. It was fun. First one, maybe I have an alcohol problem

because the stewardess came to me and she said, another one? And I said, oh baby, we're warming up. Yeah. Uh,

yeah, bitch. I didn't know. And she was like, are y'all driving after this? And I said, oh, I'm not playing in the sea after this. I go, I'm in the sky, bitch. I didn't know. And she was like, are y'all driving after this? And I said, oh, I'm not playing in the sea after this. I go, I'm in the sky, man. Give me the Jack Daniels.

And then the second thing I thought of, maybe me drinking on a plane isn't the best idea. I had the biggest false sense of confidence in the world. I turned into Liamam neeson i said if a try something on this plane i will open this exit door and throw them out bro he was he was tapping me telling me this he said dude no i will literally somebody else i said who are you i said listen to your podcast guy what are What are you doing? You were looking for trouble. He was like, looking around. He said, hey, that guy moved too quick

over there. Hey, excuse me, man. He clicked the call and turned the button. What's that guy's name? I said, yo. I was like, do you have a flight log list of everybody? Yeah. Where is he going? Do you have a connecting flight? He's ruffling that bag. I started thinking of what would happen if somebody did something and I had this false sense And I started ruffling that bag. I started thinking of what would happen. Oh my God.

If somebody did something and I had this false sense of confidence. Oh my God. What would you do? I would have a backtrack in my head of a song. Okay. First off. Way before we get into that psycho behavior. This is all to not be insensitive.

This is simply a scenario. Say we're on that plane. You and me, we're about three drinks in. Altitude's crazy. So is simply a scenario. Say we're on that plane. You and me, we're about three drinks in. Altitude's crazy, so it's hitting deeper. And all of a sudden, there's an insurgent on the plane. Oh, he's mine. He's mine. Oh my god.

If I'm drunk on an airplane, he's mine. The name's Clark Kitt. What are you doing? Insurgents on the plane. He pops up, makes some noise. It's him and his boy oh yeah oh my god oh my god okay let's hear it first thing i do is i tie the shit out of my shoes right you you need stability on that plane it's a little especially if there's turbulence going over a mountain good god you need to tie those boots up time not my god another thing quick

sidebar he doesn't wear shoes on the flight oh no no i don't he literally sits down and goes and he'll literally be like and you know i don't i wear the same socks i wear the same socks for a week straight there's always a small stench when he pops them off and then oh my breath is bad and so i i'm drunk right on the plane insurgents are there playing insurgents they're trying to take over the flight tie my shoes up like i'm going into combat vietnam trench warfare god and then when i'm drunk i like depending on what the vibe is i always if something's about to happen i put a song in my head does the vibe matter at this but oh it does survival oh it does i'll go i started to play in my head i was thinking about this i guess you wonder where i've been i search to find the love within because that

makes me feel like i'm gonna kill you sexy you're going to remember my sweet nectar killing mixtape i guess it's like wonder where i've been dude imagine that you don't have a gun though am i am i okay you don't have a gun you actually don't have a blade you don't have anything sharp nothing but a plastic cup with ice. Where do we always sit? Where do we always sit? Where do we always sit? Oh, you're going to pop the aircraft open?

Yeah, we always in the exit row. Fly out? And so I'll be like this. I guess you wonder where. Here, I'll sing your song. I'll sing your background. Do you know the song? Okay, here we go.

I guess you wonder where. Tie those f***ing shoes up. I guess you wonder where i've been searching hard why we're dead call him over exit door kick that shit out and then i see your seat you're buckled in. No, I'm up at this point. So you're dead. You're gone with it. No, no, no, no. I'm drunk.

I have limitless power when I'm drunk. You have an unbelievable amount of core and leg strength. And not only did I kick them out of the plane, right, the wind's going. I'm standing over the exit door watching them die. I'm watching them hit earth. So you just saved 300 people. Your shirt's popping up. Your dude's showing. a lot of females are starting to record your hero you wave through your hair once like this and the whole time i'm in the background i guess i wonder where i've been yeah and it's all flapping like this and then i close the exit door i turn around

everybody cheers i go who wants a drink? And then I'm the hero. They're watching God work. Oh, my God. That could be a film, a bad film. I'm telling you, my confidence drunk on an aircraft is that. It was insane. I am Jose Mazzalas. Who's Jose Mazzalas?

Thought about a baseball player. Jose Alderone. How's Alderone? Jose? Jose Calderone and his head is like this. What's a calzone? A calzone's food. A calzone's food. Yeah, good morning. What's a calzone? A calzone's food. Yeah, a calzone's food.

Yeah, good morning. What's the last month of the year? December. How's it the last month? Because on January it's a new year. But it never really ends. It's just always gone. It's always gone.

Are you on ketamine? No, but I'm saying it's like a circle circles don't end they're just a circle okay let me let me break something down to you buddy all right i agree i understand no no no but do you hear me how many how many months are in a year first off they're lying to us no but answer my question supposed to be 13 months of 28 days i the gregorian calendar there was a there was a kid that i met i told this story but he was born on a leap year and he terrified me because i always looked at him like a alien and i was like i don't like him he's like i'm six and i was like shut up i hated that

kid and he used to put gum in his uh oh in his mouthpiece during pop warner i tried it one time that shit would have yanked my teeth out i I had a horrible gorilla teeth. It took my feeling out. Oh, my God. I had all silver everywhere. I looked like Jaws. It was bad. You looked like Paul Wall. Dude, I...

Okay. That shit was black. No. Is that a bad thing? My teeth... On teeth? Yeah, it's bad. Cavities.

So, it would be December. Because if you're saying the last month of the year, that means you're tracking time, how it is tracked by months. But didn't you say that time is different to everybody? I say seconds are. There's not a second that is the same for anybody. You can't track seconds and hours and minutes.

You can't. But what all is a year? A year is just months of days, which is of hours. I'm just saying if you're – Of minutes of seconds. No, I get you. So is time real? No.

So there's no last month. No, but if you're going off the Western medicine time and taking toxic. Charlie D'Amelio. Okay, so that has to go all the way down to seconds. All a year is is a bunch of seconds. About 20 of them. Have you even thought about that? All a year is is a shit ton of seconds.

Are you ever scared when you wake up? Absolutely not. Panic attack this morning. Off the wake up. Because of that, was like what are we doing what is that called again sonder somber i'm not sure no that's saunders when you're thinking of other people and you're like are y'all real their own life you know what i mean and and back to the plane back to the plane i think we should make more arrests on aircrafts. Why? Some people belong in jail. 100%. And you would have gone to the warden if I didn't stop you.

Me? Yes. The liquor was hidden. What happens when the liquor's hidden? You start to open up a little bit. Start to get a little loose. Cam got loose right there in the rectum region. Cam turns to me.

The bathroom's right there. I actually whispered this too he goes he got hey man i was like what's up he goes would it would it be bad i was like what he's like would it be bad if i like wouldn't go take a shit on the plane i said cam if you do that i will call what's the person on the plane fire marshal was the person on the plane the fire marshal what's the person on the plane the sheriff no the person on the plane

that has the badge the guy that wears like a clip he has like a clip up shirt he's the undercover cop of the plane he's probably watching like the rookie

or something yeah you know there's one of those on every plane yeah and you never know you never know but it's only

it's like over a certain hour definitely on the one we took the one we were on yeah we were on a Liam Neeson plane for real yeah that was our first time I heard that. But it's only, no, it's like over certain hours. Definitely on the one we took. The one we were on, yeah, we were on a Liam Neeson plane for real. Yeah, yeah. That was our first time. It was 343. Yeah.

Hell of people. If you shit on a plane, you deserve death. I did shit on the plane, so kill me now. You shit on a plane before? That plane, I shit. No, you did not. When I got up and went to the bathroom, I took a shit. No, you did not.

Peyton, I told you. I literally whispered in your ear. Not even that part. I turned over and I said, hey, I said hey I'm gonna do two first on this flight first adult beverage in the sky first poop and then I said don't do it you said I'm just gonna pee what am I mom I gotta take everything you say to the core of me I had to shit I'm a grown man I went in there and it was right when she said we're expecting turnovers so I spread my legs they're like gripping like the the toilet paper container into the side of the wall and i was like i was moving and shit and i just went yeah poop see that's what i was

wondering because i thought you were just going to go pee no i took a shit i knew some shit got funky on that plane yeah but then that woman went right after me and i was like i was like oh there's no fan there's no spray dude and he went to the bathroom right when there was servants as soon as he locked that bathroom door he said there's piss everywhere but now i, there's no fan. There's no spray. Dude, he went to the bathroom right when there was service. As soon as he locked that bathroom door, he said, there's piss everywhere. But now I know there's people matter. I was sitting down, pooping out of my butthole. That's a thing. Men that sit down to pee.

I didn't know this was such a popular thing. I love it. In my own house, I love it. So many men have told me, yeah, I sit down to pee in my own house. I've never thought about that one it's like it's uh it's like a it's like a personal like meditation i see i don't like it because i hate when my dick gets in the water so that's why yet again some of us don't have that luxury oh you've never accidentally flushed in your belly? Oh, your cock's going down the plumbing drain?

You're sitting there, oh! No, I've never flushed my dick down the drain, dog. Sorry about you. Blessed be thy name. That region is unbelievable if you flushed your genitalia down the toilet. I'm pretty sure I felt Michelangelo take a grab. Leonardo was like, ah! Pizza! Master Sp, ah, pizza.

Master Spinner said, oh, what is that? Attack. No, bro, I can't sit down to pee because my butthole opens too much on the toilet. If I sit down. That's the point, though. It's like a second level insurance. Like you always sit down and if something needs to come out, you're already ready. No, I don't like spending too much time in the bathroom because my bathroom is nasty, bro.

But have you ever farted standing in a urinal and it's a close call sometimes yeah but it's not enough to where i have to sit down every time i pee but sometimes for me i'll be pissing i go for a fart and it's like and i go oh oh but then i have to abort and go to a toilet you talk to me too much when you pee that's a problem i have with you i have a good conversation with you you know me probably more than most people in this world. Talk to me way too much when Johnson's out. My Johnson's right there with you. We're Johnson twins. I'm not going to lie to you.

Every time Cam, he goes right to the stall next to me. I think he has alternative motives. I am. I think. Yes, thank you. I go to the stall first. No, no, not the stall. You go to the urinal right next to me. You go to the urinal right next to me.

You go to the urinal right next to me. Because I'm a grown-ass man. I'm not afraid of anything. I'm a little pissed. Yeah, but there's 18 urinals. Don't take the one next to me. Are we in an AMC? There's 18 urinals.

We're in a big-ass airport. Yes, there's 18 urinals. And how many of them are used? No. Every time you go, you go next to me. I go first like 90% of the time. All right. I was saying this to say, every time he pulls his pants down,

it's like an LED light. It comes like he has fluorescent cock. I pull my pants down like I'm in the seventh grade. Cam, I've walked past. My ass is out when I'm pissing in here. I've walked past Cam using a urinal, and he has had his pants on his ankles. On my ankles with my... He's like, bro, booty butt ass naked.

I see my dog's back of his thighs and the small of his back. I'm like, what's happening? Oh, my God. Could you imagine the shake after that with my clothes down? I'm like. Yeah, it's just good. Oh. Oh. after that with my clothes down. I'm like... If I ever saw that... I didn't even tell you. If I ever saw that.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have a mean joke, I can say. It's not even a joke, but it's a fact. Oh, my... I never... Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I never told y'all.

What? When we were in Chicago waiting... Yeah. When we were in Chicago waiting, a. When we were in Chicago waiting, a dude was shitting next to me. Remember how I left to go take a poop? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, how did I not tell y'all?

A dude was shitting next to me, he gagged on his own smell. I swear to god, we were sitting there, and I'm on my phone, right, and it's quiet as can be, he's not on his, if he's on his phone, he's not watching anything out loud. And all of a sudden, it was one of those nasty,

it was like, like a nasty one, and then like 20 seconds go by, he literally went, and I was like, oh my God. I wiped so quick and got out of there. Dude,

bro, I was, I was, I took a public poop for the first time since like middle school. And it was whenever we were coming back

from Chicago here. And I, I had to, I, did you see I was gone for a long time when you're on the food court? It's because I went through

The whole airport Trying to find the most Vacant bathroom Cause I don't like Pooing next to people I'm so vulnerable And I make a lot of noises My shit beat boxes dog

First that's disgusting Second it's human nature No but then The rhythm of somebody else's shit Throws me off Like if I hear them squirt You need rhythm If I hear them squirt

I close up I can't be open When the man next to me is open. Dog, I'm like just added to the fabric. Added to the smell. Someone's like, I'm like, all right, bastard, you want to play? I'm sitting there going round for round with guys. And I'm done shaking hands now. After traveling so much.

Oh, my God. Fist bump. Every bathroom I go to now do hey females men do not wash their hands at all so many of them

they don't so many of them just leave especially okay a lot of guys don't do it after they pee

whatever a lot of guys don't do it after they shit there's a pilot that's bullshit took a shit next to me

I saw I finished before him I was washing my hands I see him just get up and go he's like don't f***ing nod me. Go.

Pilot. Pilot. He should be arrested. 100%. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode of the You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Booking.com. Booking. Yeah.

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Book today on Booking.com. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. You know what else is strange? What? I've never seen a baby picture of cam and i'm starting to get questions i've known this man and his family for the better part of eight years i've never seen him as an infant and i have questions

i was big i was so scary i've been here never seen me as a baby in your house your sister's house Your whole family Pretty much everybody in your family Been around them Their houses They were trying to hide me Not a single Baby picture of this man exists

And I have questions I gotta find you Where are you from? Bro I was a I was a scary baby I was big as shit Yeah I know that

I was almost I was nine pounds Eight ounces Two weeks early I would've been like Twelve pounds scary baby i was big as shit yeah i know that i was almost i was nine pounds eight ounces two weeks early i would have been like 12 pounds if i came out when i was supposed to because i had this thought i was laying in my bed i might have had a substance in me or two i was watching a movie eating food right okay and my mind was going he said he was born at five and that's what i'm saying i was like who is my best friend like do i genuinely know him no because where is he from what if i told you i killed a frog with a hoe in the back of a

garden one time what was her name didn't name the frog no the whole That was a sad memory though Oh she broke your heart? No Oh It was just garden equipment You just made me think of that Yeah no I ran over a turtle one time

I picked up the alignment on my jeep That turtle was strong. No, but Cam's a lab baby. No. Biggest shit, yes. I need to find a picture for you. Okay, honestly, what if you found out, right? Genuine question.

What if you found out I was a lab baby? Like, not real lab babies they make now. But, like, you were literally made in a tube i was made at 12 years old that would explain a lot that would explain so so much oh my god would you would you still be my friend i'd have to wait you know i'd have to but at this point i believe you have powers to end us all if you wanted to but i told you this information but i said when i tell you this you cannot ask me a question you can't ask ask me a question or I'll have to kill you. Would you still be my friend? Yeah. But you would ask

me questions. My ADHD would be buzzing off the charts. I feel like that would ruin our friendship. No, that's going to ruin our friendship. Keep that shit inside. You ever French inhale to burp? It gets you higher than Wiz Khalifa on 420, Snoop Dogg's relatives. What is a French inhale? You ever French inhale to burp? You blow out

and suck back through your nose. It's called a French inhale. Google something. You know propaganda, don't you? Yeah, Ching Chang Chong. Now, that Chang Chong. Don't say it again. That's his name. It's Cheech and Chong. Oh, well, then cut it out. Cut it out?

You know what I meant. I came from a place of no... Hey, Ezekiel Elliott, just relax a bit. You're right. Yeah. You're right. I don't like my nipples being touched. Do I share that publicly or no? You just did.

You ever got them... I have never had my invisible nipple. Yeah, see? Dog. I've never had my nipple. It is. You ever had a Q-tip? Yes.

Times ten. No shot. I look like Ruby. I'm shaking like a damn dog. Really? Oh, my God. It's a tickle spot. Like a hand pinch or like a mouth suck.

Hey, it's personal. Just say that or the latter. I'm not a nexus of notes kind of guy. I'm a rhythm player. However you want to go get it. Come on now. That's not it. You know what I mean?

Get a nipple on him. I'm like, go get you some of that nectar. Go get you some of that calcium out of there. If you were lactating, I would absolutely put you down. I would absolutely end your life if i found out that you were creating milk inside of your body you ever tried you ever did i ever try to lactate you ever okay when you're sitting there pinching my own nipple hoping something comes out you need help when you first straight when you first found out about lactation as a child never you never squeezed

real hard no no no no me straight that's weird pierce why would you say that oh no oh no pierce don't let him put that on i feel like pierce gets nasty in his room i feel like i feel like pierce he's like hold on let me throw this curveball real quick he sets that down i feel like if you put a black light in pierce's room there's all sorts of liquids everywhere. Everywhere. That'll be kind. There's going to be shit in the corner of his room.

Shit on the doorknobs. Some crazy fluorescent rag under the bed. Oh my. No, his room's wicked. Oh God. Okay. If you had to be in a house

in Harry Potter, which one would it be? Slytherin. I knew it. No, I like Hufflepuff. I don't it be? Slytherin. I knew it. No, I like Hufflepuff. I don't know what any of that shit means. I'm literally saying things.

I don't know what I'm talking about. Basically, I'm not even going to put the other two because you don't respect the franchise enough. Who was the one that looked like Criss Angel? Mind freak. I want to be in his house. What? Snape? Sure.

He was a Slytherin. The guy that had the bob. Was he a Slytherin? He was a Slytherin, I guy that had the bob. Was he a Slytherin? He was a Slytherin, I believe. He did something bad, no? He did something really good, but it was perceived as really bad. I'm talking about in real life. Criss Angel or Snape?

Criss Angel. He looks rough now, by the way. The Luxor is a shit hotel. He looks... Oh, my God. He looks rough. Did you see him at the UFC fight? No, no. He looks old as hell.

Well, he's older. But he looks old as hell. You know y'all age like bananas. Okay, but that coke did not do him good. He did cocaine. Criss Angel did the f***. He was levitating over buildings. You think he was on a smoothie? He was on an eight ball of coke sitting there. Oh, you can't believe, don't put coke on Criss Angel's jacket. You don't think he did coke. No, I don't know, so I'm not going to say that. Are you kidding me? You think Chris Angel did some ball?

Did some blow? His nickname was Blow at that point. Chris Angel? Are you kidding me? I didn't think so. You're, you are, then you're a very, you like to see the good in people. I bought his book. You're out of, no, you f***ing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, me and Julian from Rory and Moss Podcast talked about this. I bought his book. No, you f***ed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Julian from Rory and Moss Podcast talked about this. I bought magic books. And I remember we had to have AAU parties at my house, and everybody was from the hood on my team. So it was like their dads, their uncles, their pappies, shit like that. And I was like, y'all, I've never seen no magic like this. And so I'd go to my book, I'd find the favorite trick,

and they would be drunk as hell in the backyard. And I'd go and be like, let me do some magic for you. And they'd be like, we got to f***ing entertain this kid this kid i guess and i'd do magic for him and they always seemed impressed but as i got older they hated me that night you were like obviously you're still black but you were like the token like white suburban kid like trying to do magic and for they're like man like oh my god yeah you were not a backyard magician studying through books. I swear to you, I was. What did you not do? Honestly.

I think that's why I'm such a good person. Have you ever done anything with your hands? Like, oh. You'd have to go to therapy if I told you that one. Like, physical labor. You smell my hand at 1 a.m. You're going to regret that one. Have you?

Oh! You know, in a weird reverse society, right? Without anything being a little zest, a little questionable, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm here with the zest. I almost want to see you at 1 a.m with certain parts blurred if you know what i'm saying you want to see what i do i want to see what the like because i think i at this point i'm convinced you talk to yourself i really oh yeah i

convinced you have full-blown conversation oh my god i'm convinced there's an unbelievable amount of food in your bed not in wrappers i'm a damn raccoon i sat on your couch the other day i literally heard a... I looked. It was like a quarter brick of ramen. Like, just sitting there. Swear to God. Swear to God.

I was looking for it, too. So I know there's food in your bed. I know you're naked. That's why I want it to be blurred. I don't want to see the douche. But I just want to see how you operate when no one else is around. Because that shit has to be scary.

You ever seen an untamed fox? Do your Googles. That's me. I know you're an alien. I'm fast, I'm wild, and I am nasty. I am efficient. My room smells like peanut butter, jelly, and lust. Oh, God. My room smells like peanut butter, jelly, and lust.

Sometimes after we get done recording, I think my parents are ashamed they had me. You know what I mean? They got to watch this with their friends. It's a comedy. And then I think of your family. Oh, my mom's probably crying on the couch and i know and i looked at your brother in the eyes after our show he didn't he didn't respect yes he does yes he was like you are a strange guy he's like i do things to help society oh oh my god yeah i apologize i just tell jokes, man. It's just jokes. I'm here to make people laugh. You said it smells like PB&J must.

I ran through eight Uncrustables in one night. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's like 2,000 calories of PB&J. I smelled like a second grade classroom. Did you feel anything? Oh, I let it go.

Some constipation? No. My mattress feels wet. Some constipation? No. My mattress feels wet. Your mattress is a good mattress. That shit always feels wet and cold. Very good mattress. Wet and cold is my favorite combo. No.

You gotta stop. Get off this high horse. Okay, my fault. I rode a horse before. Talk about that. Chafed the inside of my legs. Had a rash. Should have saw my...

Blistered. My guy. Oh my god. Oh my rash. Ooh. Should have saw my... Blistered. My God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My worst... You brought up chafing. My worst chafing experience ever. Went to Six Flags.

I got on the Aquaman. Got absolutely soaked, but it was the second ride I rode all day long. I walked around for six hours soaking wet. My shit was chapped. It was awful pain. It was so bad. I swear to God, this is a real story.

I rode back home in the back of my mom's Ford Explorer butt naked because I couldn't take the pain. I was butt naked. Butt naked with my feet on the window in a fetal position with my ass cracked

pointed to my mom. Yo, were the windows tinted? Oh my god, just see how that little white boy is just naked. It was fishbowl. I think that's a criminal activity. Another time it was so cold so early in the morning

at Black Friday shopping that I was feeling like I had hypothermia. I asked my mom to go back in the car. I fell asleep in the back of the Ford Explorer bundled up in blankets. I woke up like three hours later. It was too cold for me. I asked my mom to go back in the car. I fell asleep in the back of the Ford Explorer, bundled up in blankets. I woke up like three hours later. It was too cold for me. I was too young. I was a bitch.

I would have hated you, bro. You were soft. When I first found out how to ride a bike, I ran into a desk that was sitting on the side of the road for pickup, flipped over, it snapped the broomstick, it hurt my head. Yes or no, who's the bigger loser, me or you as a kid? You, okay.

I don't know. I don't know. Cam. I don't know. I was adventurous. Oh, my God, I was playing flag football. I ran a go-round. I dusted my receiver.

I missed that bitch, and I faked a leg injury. I did the same shit. I was playing for the Patriots. I was from Cowboys. Oh, my God. Even more embarrassing when I had field day. I was racing a girl.

Lost the race. Like I was losing at the quarter stretch. So I faked a slip. So I didn't have to lose to a girl. I know exactly. We would have never

been friends in our kid years. No. Tell me about it. I would have been friends with a Troy Polamalu with a tail and suspenders. I was still making out with women.

I would have been like, Mom, that kid does drugs. That kid is a druggie. He swaps spit with other six-year-olds, and he's wearing suspenders, and he does terrorist paper mache art. Druggie. Druggie. My pastime was tech decks and Lord of the Rings video games. Your pastime was YouTube decks and Lord of the Rings video games.

Your pastime was YouTube videos and paper mache terrorists. Oh, God. God, what's another one? Holy shit. That was really fun. Oh, my God. That was really fun. I thought... Never mind.

Don't say it. Don't say it. That one had to go. I don't want to do that to CJ. Okay, I'm going to say one more. I'm going to go to hell. I'm going to hell. What did you do?

Some of the summers I used to go stay with my grandparents. Yeah. Oh, that might have been on Patreon. Regardless, I used to go stay with my grandparents for like a week at a time in the summer. And I got these new dinosaur pajamas. They were green and black. So I was in them, right? The lights were cut stay with my grandparents for like a week at a time in the summer. And I got these new dinosaur pajamas. They were green and black. So I was in them, right? The lights were cut off in my grandparents' house.

So my poppy, he was out at work. And Meemaw, she was in the computer room. But I was playing with my toys, like the backside of the couch, like right onto it. So it was really dark, right? My grandma was like half blind. She walks out of the thing. I don't hear her. I'm just sitting there playing.

I lunge back. She trips and falls over my leg. I know I did that to her, right? So I get up. I consult her and everything. My grandpa comes home five hours later. I said she tripped over the vacuum and I lied about it. Wait, wait, wait.

You left her laying there for five hours? No, no, no, no, no. I got her up immediately. I got her up and tended got her up intended to her immediately but i was like six and i didn't want to get an ass whooping and i didn't want to get in trouble so i lied and i said she tripped over the vacuum so then i moved the vacuum if i left my grandma no i went oh god no no no no no no i got meemaw up oh saved her life no i'm just kidding got her up but i lied about the the cause yeah okay one time i put the neighbor kid in a headlock, a master lock.

Yeah. And I was so... Dude, I'm telling you, white boys have a different kind of fun. Put you in a master lock. I was so locked into the character. And in the moment, he was screaming for me to stop. And I didn't. locked into the character and in the moment he was screaming for me to stop he was literally like oh stop it quinn i was just like i was yanking him around because we were like what's wrong with you bro fake wrestling but then i literally thought i was chris masters and i just went the master log and i was commentating

my own move as if I was JR. You were more Chris. Oh, my God! It's the Master Lock! The You Should Know Podcast. All right, we're back. We're back. All right.

Sorry, we had to cut that out. You ever played Super Monkey Ball? Stop it. Are you asking me that for a specific reason? Stop it. What league is that in? I haven't even heard of that sport. Stop it.

It was a game when we were young. Fun as hell. Basically, you're a monkey or an ape or a chimp, and you. What league is that in? I haven't even heard of that sport. Stop it. It was a game when we were young. Fun as hell. Basically, you're a monkey or an ape or a chimp, and you're in a ball, right? And you're going through these courses, and you can't fall off. So fun. What about Doritos Crash Course on Xbox 360? Mm-mm. God, you didn't live.

Played The Floor is Lava. Well, hell, if you didn't play The Floor is Lava, did you cheat in The Floor is Lava? No, I just grabbed my favorite girl. That was our flirting. We would go like... What did you just... Oh, that sounded kind of crazy. What did you just say?

I just grabbed... Is there something in your eye? I don't know. It's burning. Welcome back. So we'd go like we'd have friend hangouts, right? It would be girls and boys. You're squinting.

Fix your eye. And everybody had their crush there. Like that was the point. Like we liked each other. You're crying. Something's wrong. No, something's not going right in this left eye. You're crying.

No, it burns. No, no. No, no, it burns. You're f***ing kidding me. No, no, no, it hurts. Okay, go. So boys and girls, crushes of all ages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe not all ages. Yeah, yeah. I just realized you're a're f***ing kidding me. No, no, it hurts. Okay, go. So boys and girls, cousins of all ages. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe not all ages. Yeah, yeah. I just realized you're a real f***ing person. What? Isn't that crazy? I've been here, buddy. So sorry. Am I high?

You might be. Something, that eye, it's catching something. So we played the floor is lava, and we're like, gah, gah, gah. I jump on the couches, right? Man, I had my tail, right? And I was f***ing, I was gnarly. I was likeches, right? Man, I had my tail, right? And I was gnarly. I was like this, right?

Imagine this. 12 years old with a tail. With a tail going. Super skinny jeans with no drawers on. Just a mean ass rat. Oh my God. You probably had seven yeast infections by the seventh grade. And so I was like, I'll be coughing up on the couch. Oh my God. Your dick smelled so bad.

I can't. I cannot imagine. I cannot imagine I cannot imagine Did you do it after athletics? No, no, no It was like a weekend activity Yeah, weekends I wouldn't wear drawers My balls had all kinds of scars and scrapes on them

Because they'd always get caught in the zipper It was a Levi jean It was like a 2020 size jean, right? Skinny, super blue And my mom would starch the jeans too. Some bitches were like, I am surprised your mom didn't whoop your ass. She didn't know what I was doing.

Oh my God, give him a whooping now. And then so I would be like chasing the girl I like on the couch. And then my ass crack was out. And I always had lower back hair ever since I was six. Early case of gingivitis. Oh, my God. I look like the boogeyman. I was like... Please keep going.

Bloody gums. Bloody gums. Bloody gums. Gypsophitis. Your hair is fucking crazy. You wear suspenders, Levi jeans. Your ass cracks out. Your balls are chafing.

You had bloody gums and shit breath. Running around like that. How did you ever, ever get a girl? Oh, because I was honest. I was fun. Okay. I'd be like, we can sing. You be Gabriella. I'll be Troy. You are the music in me. Ready? She just goes, ever get a girl? Oh, because I was honest. I was fun. Okay. I'd be like, we can sing. You be Gabriella.

I'll be Troy. You are the music in me. Ready? She just goes, what's that smell? Holy shit. Holy shit. It's hot. Okay.

One more thing and we'll get out of here. Hold on, bro. Your fucking pants are big, dog. Why are they so big? Oh, my God. Your pants are huge. Stand up again. Pull them up to your actual waistline and show them how much real estate you have.

Go forward. What are you on, Jenny or Craig? Why are your pants so big? Stop, stop, stop. What size are those 34 my ass 34 wow did you get that whiff didn't smell the best sometimes my ass sweats it's like blood pennies that smelled like a taquito crisper from a quick trip. That shit smells like Jerusalem. Here we go.

Can I not say that? No. Okay. So it's hot, right? It's very hot. It's hot. Hot as hell. And we were in Chicago, right?

Yes. It was hot as hell in my hotel room, and I asked, well, let me preface this the correct way. We get into the hotel room in Chicago. It is hot as hell. I called the front desk because the AC wasn't working. Correct. And I said, hey, can y'all do something about this AC?

I am burning up. I'm getting a tan in my hotel room. Shouldn't happen. Correct. Shouldn't happen. She goes, the best thing we can do right now, God bless you, never do it again. Okay.

You're saved. Not for long. The rapture's coming. God. I called. Yeah. And she said, the best thing I could do for you right now is bring a fan. I got to thinking immediately, I was like, that will help.

But then my brain started going. Not too sure how fans work. Let me, I know it sounds crazy. If you put a fan, right? Just a fan. Just a fan, right? It's just blades going like this. That's a fan.

If you put a fan in a hot ass room and point it towards you, how does moving around a bunch of hot air make you cold okay quick test take your hand hello put in front of your face go like this you can't see me not john cena this you feel that coolness yes that's called air i know i get it but say you're in a fan does that quicker more powerful more cold so cold. So I'm trying to understand the science of it. If you just move a bunch of hot air quickly, how does it make you cold? Peyton, if we were outside and it was 110 degrees and you did this, it's going to be cool. You're not answering my question.

It's going to piss me off. It's the speed at which it's moving. It's pushing it to you quick. Your fan's not injected with water. It's moving something quick. It's pushing it to you quick. There's no... Your fan's not injected with water. It's moving something quick. It's cold. You ever put... Look.

Oh, my God. You ever put ice in a drink? That's something me from last night is still in you. You ever put ice in a drink? Yes. Shake it up. It gets colder.

Movement aids coolness. How... So if you were to put a fan in a...? Yes. Shake it up. It gets colder. Movement aids cool. So if you were to put a fan in a sauna. If you were to put a fan in a sauna. Yeah. Would you be cool? Yes. How does that work? You're in a little room of heat.

You wouldn't be cool, but the spot that the fan's hidden would be cooler. How does that work, though? Because the speed of the fan, it's pushing the air. Say something more smart and detailed than that. Why do you need to know the intricacies of the rules and laws of physics? Why are you so content with just life happening to you? Do you know that fans work? Yes.

What the f*** does it matter then? What does it matter? You does it matter are you you got shares of stock and fans no i'm gonna do a research project i'm interested turns on and you get cold i'm point blank period i understand i'm interested in how that works interested is let me be open about this you're like a lawyer for that's what i'm asking i'm asking he's not doing that how does it work that's what i'm saying how does it work? That's what I'm saying. How does it work? And you're not answering. You're saying it just happens. Explain how that fan works. It's a fan.

I get it. It's a fan. How did you push around a bunch of hot shit? Does it become cold? How does that happen? How do planes fly? But you don't question that every time you get on it. Oh, I sure do.

Oh, you do it internally? Oh, my God. I'm like, how can the pilot see right now? How does he know where we're at? There's no road. Things happen and they work. Just because you're beautiful, little brain, doesn't understand. See, you're just saying, just go with it.

I'm trying to get into life. Into life? I'm trying to figure out. My best explanation, the fan, it's moving so quick that maybe when air moves quick, it is cooler. How the f*** are you going to ask me, but then I say it and you say no? Explain that one. Because if you say no with that much oozing confidence, that means you know how it works, but you don't.

Because you said if it moves fast. There's fans that if you put it on one speed, it'll go... Was it a guy with a palm tree just fanning you? That has four different speeds on it, numbskull. If you were to put it on one, you're still going to get colder, but it's moving slow. How does that work? It's moving slower than the fastest.

You think it's like this? I've seen fans go that fast. That slow, you mean? You've seen a fan go like this. Yes. Bro, sorry, I didn't grow up in a castle. Sorry. I didn't grow up in a castle. i didn't grow up in a castle sorry my middle school didn't have ipads and carnival games at my field day we didn't sorry i didn't wear an ass guy in

a bow tie and call my principal chancellor sorry brother i had to grow up on squared pizza and chocolate milk i'm just to the fan i'm saying, I'm just not okay with just accepting certain shit. Then you do your own research. You go to fan school. That's what the podcast is for.

Go to, get a clipboard and go to Lasko, wherever their headquarters is. Who's Lasko? It's the fans. The little circular one

that you stand up, the little circular one. Go visit them and shadow them for a day. Maybe they can have the master of ceremony, the master of fan tell you. Do you think it rains enough to have that many

water bottles? That's a good ass question. Think how many goddamn water bottles there are. Bro, think how much water there is on earth, Peyton. I get you. A lot of ocean. Half of that's contaminated, polluted. Can't use that.

Lakes, contaminated, polluted. Can't use that. That's why there's filters. The water that's rained from the clouds is not necessarily good to drink either. There's millions? They put it through filters. Okay.

Do you think they have a factory where they open the water bottles and let the rain go directly in? Water legally has to be free everywhere you go. It has to be. That's a law. In every building, it has to be. What?

In every business, water has to be free. It has to be. You can't charge for water. You can, but you have to have free water there, too. You have to. It's legal. You have to. You have to have a water faucet or supply free water.

You seem to know a lot about water. I love water. And I have questions, right questions right okay every building has water in it water bottles shit ton of water bottles at the 7-eleven shit ton of water bottles at that ymca shit ton of water bottles in this office building shit ton of water bottles at every walmart everywhere gas stations water is everywhere and we're in one little ass city that's millions and millions and millions of gallons of water in this city shit's not adding up to me bro this is the same do we just have water buckets in the ocean do we have like people just grab water all day and filter it out we have so much water you can't even comprehend how much water there is on earth you you see that's such a cop-out ass answer what do you want from me what the do you want from me if that's a cop-out what do you want me to tell you in this exact moment if that's a cop-out answer

you want me to tell you the whole process we have too much goddamn water bottles on this earth bro are you mad at it is it a problem what are What are we drinking? Frog piss? No, actually it said that every single, almost all the water we've drank contains a little bit of dinosaur pee. Oh, you're gonna kill me. Dinosaur pee? If you think about it. Dinosaurs died about a hundred years, a thousand years ago. They never existed, first of all. I'm starting to get there too. I actually think it was dragons. I don't, I'm not a dragon guy. I'm not going to lie to you. Dragons.

Mentioned like 20 times in the holy word. Dragons. Pictures of dragons throughout all different walks of life, throughout thousands of year gaps, through all different civilizations. Dragon these nuts on your forehead. No. You like tapes and CDs?

CDs? What CDs? Wait. Oh, tape. You said it wrong. Tape this penis here for it so you can see these nuts. That's gruesome. I had a friend who had outdoor furniture in his house. You know how uncomfortable that visit was? Just getting yarn in his house. You know how uncomfortable

that visit was? Just getting yarn in your shed for that indoor furniture in the backyard. It was a full-blown leather couch just sitting in his yard. No pool, nothing.

No, and I swear to God, I went to his, I can't say his name, in high school, I went to my friend's house. I bought it because it was a cheaper option. Huh?

I said you probably bought it because it was a cheaper option. No, but said you probably bought it because it was the cheaper option. No, but there's a cabana in your living room, dog. What are you doing? Like everything in his house is made of yarn and poles. Oh my God. I saw a gift that I'm going to get you and I'm going to tell you right now. A gift?

A gift. It's called the barista. The barista. The barista or the barisian. Okay. Something of that sort. The Barista. The Barista. Or the Barisian. Okay. Something of that sort. God bless you. It's like the other gift I bought you that you literally never use.

The Keurig. Would you buy me? Keurig. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, exactly. It's bullshit. You stole my Nutribullet. Oh, my.

No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. Regardless, it's like the Keurig. It's like the Keurig. But for liquor. You literally come to four glasses. Four, like like glass containers you pour one

of like whiskey one of vodka one of like rum and one of tequila you put the nozzle on them plug it into the system pull the sticker off there's a screen

you pick the drink you want it comes with pods mixers you put it in the top close it you can click normal light

or strong you can hit strong peach margarita yeah save your money You put it in the top, close it. You can click normal, light, or strong. You can hit strong peach margarita. Yeah, save your money. I would never use that, but it's cool though. I had a stint in my life where I wanted to be a bartender, right? And so it was when I was 21. I went to a liquor store.

I just bought a bunch of shit. And I didn't know that there was an art to bartending. So I was throwing a bunch of shit in there. Threw up. Had my first crown So I was throwing a bunch of shit in there, threw up. Had my first crown when I was eight years old. What? It was an accident. Chugged it, thought it was Diet Coke.

And that's when my life got dark. And that explains it all right there. You were sipping whiskey since you were eight. Let's get CJ on the pod. Let's get CJ on here. The You Should Know Podcast. We got editor CJ on the pod let's get cj on here the you should know podcast we got editor cj on the pod thank you thank you this is the first time you've been sorry make that thing clap camo and make that thing clap make that thing clap camo and make that thing come now cj make them calves clap make them calves clap make them make them make them calves clap Make them calves clap Make them calves clap Make them calves clap

I'm back once again Sippin' hand Made some juice and gin Bitches and couple lady friends Counting Benjamins Sitting on the couch Now I got my boy CJ He is here to go hard

He is not here to play And we reppin' every day Reppin' every single way. I'm gonna rap every day of the week. I'm gonna rap every day till you're weak. I got a singing little zesty boy sitting to my right. What? Backwards hat on and yeah, it's a fright.

Yep. He scares me the shit out of my soul. He's choking on spit and We're here to roll. CJ's on the pod. You see him on Patreon. CJ, when did you lose your virginity? Not answering that one. I'm kidding.

When he moved in with me. And that is not. No. No. Stop. I think they're crossing. That's a wicked. I think they're crossing. That's a wicked. That's, I was, that's, I apologize.

Just kidding. You're a victim. Just kidding. Yeah, we're going to, that's not going to be in there. But. Here we go. What's up, Bubby? Hey, how's it going?

It's going, you know what? You know what? That's bullshit, CJ. I'm going to ask you one personal question, then we're going to get into it. When did you find God? No, no, no. No, that's too personal. Here we go how how has your first over a full month about six seven weeks now living

here with the whole crew how has it been he lives with me if you don't know yeah i live with p it's pretty pretty nice it's like having a messy roommate do you eat enough uh i have to beg him to take me to eat because he's always on his phone scrolling scrolling scrolling oh it's all right it's not true you get those modes you just start scrolling for an hour I'm starving quick question P if you don't mind could you get on your phone go to that settings Pull that old screen time. Let's see what your screen time is looking like. I'm on my phone a regular amount. Don't lie.

Yes. Come on. Don't lie. Okay. It's not bad. No, no. You're the average. I need the average.

The weekly average. Not today. Oh, how do you find weekly average? So mine is you click on see all in website and then you can go week. Oh, week. So my daily average is three hours, 27 minutes. Oh, okay. That's not bad.

Not bad. So a couple games, a couple checks of the socials. Well, can I break it down? No, let's just hear the number first. And let's have 100% honesty. Like where it says total screen time? Yeah, sure. 15 hours and 26 minutes.

Nah, you're kidding me. Is that true? 15 hours and 26 minutes. Nah, you're kidding me. Is that true? 15 hours and 26 minutes. My daily average is 7 hours and 43 minutes. How much on TikTok and Instagram? Well, social is 11 hours and 53 minutes. That's my job. TikTok is 5 hours.

Instagram is 3 and a half hours. Twitter is 2 and a half hours. Safari is 1 and a half hours. It doesn't take a half hours. Safari is one and a half hours. It doesn't take me too long. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You sick.

Hey, that proves my point, though. Yeah. He needs nutrients. I'm not his dad. He needs to go get food. That's why. I offered to take him to the grocery store. That it?

And what did you want to do instead? I was working. Work harder. I don't know. You just don't care about me. It's okay. You're all right. I was working. Well, work harder. I don't know. You just don't care about me. It's okay. You're all right. I got Cam.

See, I feed you enough. All right. No. All he wants is a cookie tote from McDonald's. Hey, if you've ever had a cookie tote from McDonald's, you would understand my point. Does he eat on the road? No. Exactly.

Why would it change whenever? Because I'm used to it at home. Yeah, that's true. You don't feed me in the mornings. You've probably destroyed his power. I get one meal a day i'll i'll sound like a prisoner i'll wake up at 8 a.m i'll hear some ruffling downstairs and i hear him opening a diet coke he is a sick he goes that's all we have cj you're like i need my caffeination no i say p can i have a drink and you say no it's not time it's not time. It's not time? It's sick.

And I go, how much longer? And CJ makes me sit on my hands when I piss him off. That's, no, it's the opposite. He makes CJ sit on his hands. He punishes me. No, no, not like that. Not like that, no. No, no, not again.

No. Dude, my balls are loose right now. Mine stink. Mine stink. Mine stink. Here we go. Why is he here? So, I realized something, right? Okay.

Me and CJ are linked on a different level that you're not. And I want to test that. Okay. Me and CJ found out that we have a telekinetic power that you don't possess. Was there a meeting I missed? So, I want to prove it to you with a simple game. And I just want to see if you can lock into that power and tap in. What's the, who, how do I win the game?

Who knows Cam better? No. Nope, here we go. As you see here, regular grid, nine squares. Okay. He's going to turn around and not look. Any square you pick, he knows what it is without looking so wait he i'm gonna have the board no i'm gonna hold the board okay you're gonna show and choose a square okay

he is going to be able to pick it without ever seeing every single time david blaine like am i learning something about our editor here no we're telekinetic and you're not and this is gonna prove so you can pick it too no no why fuck are you involved in this at all? I'm not looking. He's watching what you pick, but we have a telekinetic power, so I know. I can give him the answer through his eyes. Oh. Yes.

Oh, like Brokeback Mountain. Cowboys. Cowboys. Was that Jake Gyllenhaal in that movie? Great actor. That's why you like. Here we go. Okay. So I'm going to pick a thing. Was that Jake Gyllenhaal in that movie? Great actor. That's why you like him. Here we go.

Okay, so I'm going to pick a thing. I'm going to pick a square. My God. I'm going to pick a square. You're going to point the board to him, and he's going to know which square I pick. 100%. That way right there. Close my eyes just for security. Sit on your hands.

No, I'm not doing that right now. Hold your breath. Here we go. Now CJ's turned. Show CJ. He's looking away. Get right here so they can still see you. Right there. Eyes completely closed. Turn completely away. He's go. Now CJ's turned. Show CJ he's looking away. Get right here so they can still see you. Right there.

Eyes completely closed. Turn completely away. He's good. Right there. Okay. Turn it this way. You can't say anything. No, no, no.

Why can't I hold it? Hold it right there. Why can't I hold it? Hold it right here. Okay. Final answer? Yes, that one. Okay.

Got it? Am I good? Yep. CJ, look. Yes, you can look, CJ. Okay. Okay. Will you close your eyes? Why am I going to close? Am I good? Yep. CJ, look. Yes, you can look, CJ. Okay. Okay. Will you close your eyes?

Why am I going to close? I have to ask him. Oh, okay. I'm watching, y'all. Watch. Okay. Is it this one? No.

This one? No. This one? No. That one? Yeah. Okay. Do it again

Okay, no no That's kind of cool because that was kind of cool wait hold on okay next one pick any square Okay Okay. Ow! My knee! What was that? That was my knee. All right, here we go. Let's go.

I'm ready. I'm ready. You ready? CJ, you're good. Yes, sir. Second board, second pick. CJ, if you do this, I'm calling the police. Is it this one?

No. Is it this one? No. That one? No. This one? No. Is it this one? Nah. This one? Nah. Is it this one?

Yeah. Oh, wow. Wait a minute. Let's try. I want to try it. Two for two? All right, you try it. I'm two for two, right?

Yeah, wait. I closed my eyes. Yeah, so you're going to look away, and then we'll just flip it. So who's going to pick? Me? Yeah, you're going to pick a square. Okay. Wait, I think I get it. I got you. Okay, wait. Okay. Wait, kiss you're going to look away and then we'll just flip it. So who's going to pick? Me? Yeah, you're going to pick a square. Okay. Wait, I think I get it.

I got you. Okay, wait. Okay. Wait, kiss. What? Okay, yeah. No, here you go. Okay, look away, close.

Don't cheat at all. I'm not. CJ, pick a square for them to see. Are y'all, wait, are y'all f***ing witches? Do I have to burn y'all? Close your eyes. Close them now. Is this Salem Witch Trials?

Isn't that crazy they did that? Okay. Got it. You can look, sir. Okay. Okay. You ready? No.

Try to lock in. All it is is me telling him without saying anything. Okay. It's like a feeling. Okay. I've been basically screaming what square it is on the inside of my head this whole time. Okay, okay, let's do it. Okay, ready?

Yeah. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. Is it that one? No. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No.

There's only three boxes left! Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. I literally just went through all nine. No, you didn't do the top left. Is it this one? Yes. No. this one? No. I literally just went through all nine. No, you didn't do the top left. Is it this one? Yes. No.

Oh, wrong. Go again. Okay. Go again back to CJ. You want another try? Yeah, y'all do it again. Okay. Y'all do it again.

You want me to close my eyes? Close your eyes again. Close your eyes again. Wait, I don't fucking like this game. Okay, hold on. Go. You trying to seduce me? What are you doing?

Pick a square. I feel a hand on my leg. I'm screaming. Okay. All right, CJ. Okay, I'm going to lock in here. Okay. You ready?

Don't look at him. I won't even look at him. Okay. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. Wait, I forgot which one I picked. No, I didn't. Here we go. Is it this one? Uh, no. Wait, I forgot which one I picked.

Oh, no, I didn't. Here we go. Is it this one? No, he looked at me too quick. It's definitely not that one. This one? No. Is it this one?

Yeah. Wait, no, I don't get it. No, wait a minute. Wait. Right here. Wait. Give me some. Let's go.

I didn't even look at him. Wait, can y'all do a reverse? Yes. Okay, so I'll pick and you close your eyes. You close your eyes. Y'all switch. Y'all switch spots. I'm right here.

Yeah, we're good. Okay. Okay, last one. If y'all get this right, I'm calling the police. You ready? I can't see the board. My bad. Ow! God! Oh, my bad. Shit! Turn it this way. Keep it. I'm calling the police you ready. I can't see the board Shit turn it this way keep it like there

Yes, which one did I take see don't tell him out loud wait do it Professional yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Can I open? Yes. Watch out. The board's right in front of your face. Okay. Is it that one? No. That one? Bottom right? No. How about dead middle?

No. That one? No, but close. That one? Yeah, that one. It's that one. Let's go. That one? Yeah, that one. It's that one. That was right? You need some nugs.

Wait, okay. Can I guess how y'all do it? It's something in what y'all are saying, isn't it? No. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Because it's not. I won't say a single word. It's telekinetic.

I'm telekinetic. Wait, go get you. Pierce, you do it. He knows how to do it too? Pierce, come on. Sit over here. Pierce can sit right there. Well, we got to get it on the screen.

Wait, somebody, make room for him. This is starting to piss me the fuck off. So Pierce's eyes are turned the other way. All right, here we go. You want me to turn too? You want to do double? Yeah, let's do a double. Okay, here. Gotcha. No, if y'allall do double i'm beating the shit out of somebody no no no no this is stupid pick a square

locked in locked in okay boys look back i'm look i'm you ready are you already yes pierce you ready look at the board the whole time is it this one No this one no That one This one now That one yeah No, what the fuck no? No, come on. No, time out.

Hey, just to disprove you, I won't say a single word. We'll do one more double. I won't even speak. Wait, can you do it? Can y'all guess off the first guess? Can they just guess it? Huh? Can they just guess it?

What do you mean? No. That's not the game. Without him saying anything or having y'all guess? I have to have him guess. All right, if they know which one it is. He doesn't have to say a word. Yeah, I don't have to say anything. Okay, without y'all guess. I have to have him guess. If they know which one it is... He doesn't have to say a word. Yeah.

I don't have to say anything. Okay, without y'all saying anything. Close. I literally won't speak. Ready? Put those hands over there. Okay. This one?

Locked in. Yes. Okay. I'm not going to speak. Okay. Matter of fact, I'm going to keep eye contact with you the whole time. Okay. And don't say anything. I won't say a single word. I won't going to speak. Matter of fact, I'm going to keep eye contact with you the whole time. Don't say anything.

I won't say a single word. I won't look at him. No, because this is starting to piss me off. And I feel like back whenever I didn't get picked for dodgeball. I won't say a single word. I won't look at him. Okay. But y'all have to say yes or no.

Yes. Okay? Yeah. Okay. Understood. Yes. Here we go. Good morning.

Here we go. Yeah. Aye, aye. No. No. yes my girl good morning real yet I now no now now no yeah bingo now doctors what No. Mm-mm. Nope. Yeah. Bingo.

No, Doc, because what the... Wait, no. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a power that we possess. I told you. It's some white people shit, huh? It is some white people shit. I'm not agreeing with that. Wait, no, no, no.

You want to try one more time? You want to play? Yeah, I want to play. Okay, turn around. Close your eyes. Both Pierce and CJ. Collectively. Well, y'all tell me how.

Pick a box. In the comments, if you're getting this. Okay. All right, we're locked in. Wait. T, we're locked in. Okay. Were you cheating?

No. I saw your hands. I wasn't. I was thinking about baseball. What? My mind goes to dark places when I close them. Here we go. Okay.

You ready? Yeah. No. No. You're doing it different. He didn't say anything. But you're doing it different. No, I'm not.

Because sometimes you use your middle finger with them. What? Tell me what finger you want me to use. But you have a thing. Y'all are marketing by the fingers. No. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

Look, look, look. Yes, I do. Yes, you do. You're marketing by the fingers. You're marketing by the fingers. You're marketing by the fingers. Okay. And so whenever it's my turn, you always use your index finger.

And then whenever you're doing it with them, you use all these. I saw it. Okay, redo. Close your eyes. Yeah, redo. I'll use my middle finger the whole time. No, no, no. You do it the same way you do it, damn.

You're trying to leave me out. I'm not crazy. Sir, you're going to be arrested if you keep this up. Yes. Please stop screaming. Close your eyes. It reminds me of home. Close your eyes.

Pick an answer. That was deep, CJ. Sorry. I was talking about his home. Pick one. He screams at me all the time. Pick one, guys. Okay.

Exact same way. Okay. If you do it the exact same way, I'll be able to get it. Exact same way Okay If you do it the exact same way I'll be able to get it Exact same way Okay You ready? Yes Is it this one?

No No Is it this one? No Is it this one? No Is it that one? No

Is it that one? Yes I got it right? I told you Let's go I told you If you do it the exact same way I'll be able to get it

How is it? I look I saw him cheating You f***ing cheated? Did you look through the hole In the top of your hat? You're a cheater? I don't

I don't like when I'm not involved He had too much confidence I knew he cheated or something. No, go to the middle. Get out of that middle, boy. Yeah. You cheated. Can you explain how you do it?

Do you want to know how? Yes. You really want to know? Yes. So, on the boxes. Okay. So, I'm looking away, right? He's looking away.

Yeah. You pick a box. You pick whatever box. Pick a box right now. This one? Okay. So, when he re-looks. Now, I look. All you you do the first box i ever say

is to the left of it what no the hell what if it's this one jack wagon i thought you would pick that one first no you picked this box yes i did pick that box so now he knows because i already said that yes yes the first box i ever choose and say is it this one i put my finger on the box that it is. What does that mean? So this one box becomes the entire playing field. So there's nine spots. Bing, bing, bing.

Bing, bing, bing. Bing, bing, bing. You pick this one. Yeah. So I just go, is it this one? He goes, no. So now he knows it's the middle left. What if I pick the one up there?

This one? Yeah. No, what if I pick that one? This one? I go, is it this one right here? No. Oh! That's like algebra.

If you pick dead middle, I go, is it this one? No. Oh! That wasn't in my magic book. Yeah, you skipped a couple classes. Dropout. Skipped a lot of classes. Yeah.

Criss Angel, my ass. CJ wipes forward. Put that out there, so. Let's put that out there. You want to make fun of me? CJ wipes forward, going towards the balls and the penis. Put that out there. Let's put that out there. You want to make fun of me? CJ wipes forward going towards the balls and the penis. Put that out there. Put them on a list if you need to. So, not too fun when the rabbit's got the gun, huh?

He's not denying it. Yes. The tip of CJ's peepee is brown so let's say no bro no no you want to talk about me oh no my god cj has collateral every time he wipes no i don't want to make fun of me call me a liar you're a liar That was so unconfident. Hey, TJ Zone. All right, thank you, CJ, for coming on. Thank you, Pierce, for coming on.

Thank you. And thank you to everybody that came back. Episode 119, fantastic one. Yes, we love you. Phoenix and Vegas, this was shot before y'all, but we already know you showed up and showed out. Bow. Turned up, two fantastic shows in Houston, Texas, July 11th. You are the only show remaining.

It's damn near sold out. I think there's like six tickets left. But as of right now, by the time you see this, it'll be sold out. So I'm sorry. Houston, you are the last trip. You got to show up. We got to turn up in the beautiful city of Houston. But regardless of all of that, Confused Casuals,

get your good karma with this week's secret code. What is it? PHP. Peyton has parasites problems. The power. Oh, well, both are true. Peyton has power because you finally figured it out and then you told us that he wipes forward. Anyway,

Peyton has power. PHP. Leave it everywhere. Leave it on all the socials. Leave it on the Instagram, on the TikToks. Go put it in the Koala Club. Everything you need, all the information and directions you need are linked below in the description. We absolutely love you. Immediately following this Houston show, we have a big announcement for everybody.

Yes. We've been working our ass off this whole podcast touring and then extra stuff. Y'all see it soon it's gonna be so fun we love you guys stay locked in we're on the road to 1 million subscribers tell your friends family grandma and your enemies about it uh she's not she she's she's she's not going through something she's cheating on you remember one out of ten claw bears don't make it home to christmas and we'll see you hello next time no