You Should Know Podcast - WE BOUGHT PENGUINS -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

LIVE SHOW TICKETS: https://www.axs.com/events/481891/you-should-know-tickets PATREON AVAILABLE NOW: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 SNAPCHAT: https://t.snapchat.com/rbfrNcAG Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code PSH at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod 0:00 PEYTONS INTRO 3:58 CAM JOINS THE SHOW 7:45 SMELLING PEYTONS SWAMP BUTT 19:20 We are Constipated 22:13 WEIRD PETS 28:20 Crazy Car Story 34:24 MICROWAVE CONSPIRACY  38:42 T0RTÙR3 DEBATE 45:56 Crying because you yell  46:36 CARD DECLINED STORIES 51:57 PENGUIN vs ANTS 59:59 POP CULTURE 1:05:17 ANNOUNCEMENT  YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R GRAB SOME MERCH: https://www.youshouldknowstudios.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Different is calling. They literally, they come out and they're like this. Penguins go through a civil war every day. Every day. They don't know who their ops are. They all look alike and they're all ready to fight. The You Should Know Podcast. Thirsty, Baba. Come take... Hey, everybody! Welcome back to The You Should Know Podcast!

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that's 20 off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code PSH. Make this Father's Day one he won't forget with Manscaped. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Up the yellow brick road. Up the yellow brick road. We go to the highway, get in the truck, and we're up the yellow brick road. We got go-ho, get in the truck, and we're up the yellow brick road. We got co-host Cam still in the studio.

I was trying to, because you know last week I said forever in the studio, and I didn't want to say back in the studio. Should I do it again? We got co-host Cam back in the studio. What the hell? I'm trying to go for like a head thing on the beat. I don't know. My pants are rolled up twice, and it's literally like my garden hose is in the cellar.

You know what I mean? We cannot be two minutes in talking about some garden hoses and in the cellar It's like, you know, you know whenever like on a hot summer's day when you coil up the hose have you use the sprinkler system? You're no you're foul you're foul you're foul We got system you're no you're foul you're foul you're foul we got go back in the studio i hate you with every fiber of my being what happened you didn't tell me you were doing it i missed that i missed the dab on cue i'm just i'm i'm annoyed popular opinion cam starting into a diva now that he's uh full time whenever so we can't move in, we're moving all Cam's stuff and we're getting his office ready

and he's like, I need this before I show up every day. I need this. He's literally lying to you. Cam. He's literally lying to you. Cam. He's literally lying to you.

Cam, you didn't say you need six spritzers? Six spritzers. In your own mini fridge. We have a studio mini fridge that we always use. Cam said he wants his own. Really?

Because I have my own fridge and I sold it. Actually, I didn't sell it. I gave it away in the kindness of my heart. I thought you were going to give it to me. straight to your face. How you doing that is i want happiness

and joy every day i walk in you should be happy and joyful when you just see me though i am do you light up when you see me not i mean it's a dim light it's like it's like uh it's one of the ones you can it's not like on or off it's like you can control the the frequency you don't tingle oh no no i've tingled i don't tingle i don't vibrate i don't get goosebumps chills that's not true you got goosebumps like 30 seconds ago that was a whole like little asmr thing you were a bit too close to my eardrum but it's okay it was like a it was like an instinctive one like something's wrong get them off you i like your earth tones today kim's got on like a beige almost white shirt with the green accents with the green pants with the

green beige shoes you're doing real nice things dog it looks decent it looks very decent it looks real you look real good really that's that might be one of my first times i've done that to you oh look at him cheesing like an eighth grader oh cam you've you've said this thing about me and our friend ryan shout out to ryan as. Shout out, Ryan. I'm not good at greetings or byes. No, he is awful at hugs. Peyton, like, best friend in the world. Like, going for, like, this grisly-ass hug. All right, dog, be safe, whatever, da-da-da.

He literally hugs you like this. He's like. And it's the nastiest thing. And he's so, but he's already so slender that, like, his. Like, if you have long limbs, you at least got to – you have to, like, give some force. Like, I have to know that, like, okay, he's not just a skeleton. But he literally goes like this.

But I'm – And just, like, sets his arm on you. It's like, get away. I'm delicate. And so any too harmful – But it's a hug with your friends. Yes, and I'm built bad. So I want your arm crevice to go in the right part of me.

Do you know what I mean? I just want some like, like life in the hug. You're literally like, like you don't, he hugs us like he doesn't know us. It's unbelievable. I'm like, what are you like? I hug everybody the exact same. Damn it, give me a hug! I hug everybody the exact same, from my parents to Mama Liv to everybody. Yeah, I think that's like trauma.

I think it's trauma. And nothing happened. I think it's trauma. Like unresolved, you have no clue. It's like deep. I just don't like, because also there's a... Your shirt feels like I've got a sack of potatoes first and then turned into a shirt. It's like burlap.

It's like my pants. Thick, yeah. This is the thing though. I always have this weird fear that I stink. No, you smell yesterday. No, you smell it. No, you smell it. Can we tell the story? No, yesterday you smelled it.

It was bad. It was bad. It was bad. Yesterday, we had to do a bunch of things. We were shooting some Patreon stuff. We were getting some stuff for the studio. And I have two different smells, right? When I sweat naturally, like if I have an athletic sweat, it's like, oh, you smell like sweat.

You do sport. You do sport. Shout out to Anthony Joshua Joshua shout out to Anthony Joshua if you see this it's nice meeting you and the second kind of smell I have is my anxiety sweat oh my god it's bad oh my god it is straight Darwin like bro you have that for a reason Darwin like that is your like who's that Darwin I've never met Charles Darwin oh like the survival of the fittest Final countdown Do not ever do that

Little ass tongue I don't know where you learned that I don't know how much VC that move cost Don't ever do that again You literally like this Final countdown Like don't ever do that again so it was so little tongue that's why it was it would have been better if you're like like you literally like don't ever do my bad that was bad. That was crazy. My bad.

Sorry. But yes, Darwin, I'm saying like you literally have built that stench. To like deflect people? That reeking, that rancid scent over your course of existence to deflect humans from you when you need comfort and safety. You feel anxious, you feel scared, frail, very small, and you literally just your body naturally just goes Just like emits this on this on like you can't you can't be around it We're literally walking throughout the store. He's like dog. We gotta leave. I'm like we still have to get this that and the third He's like no no no like I'm telling you we have to leave

I need to go home, and what are you talking about? He's like sniff me, and I smell him the first time and it's not that bad i'm like not that bad i can smell your i can smell your cologne like you're good 30 minutes go by and he's literally like dog hey i'm not kidding bro like i'm literally not but i'm we can't even finish the order we gotta go home i was like dude no we don't he's like smell me now and i literally went in thinking it was gonna be the same thing and i was like like i'm talking in thinking it was going to be the same thing. And I was like. I'm talking like. It was like.

Dramatic slow-mo like exit. I was like. The thing is it made it so much worse. It was like Gordon Ramsay had a one-bedroom apartment in your armpits. And he was just whipping stuff up. Just everything he made had onions in it. But it's not even just an onion-y thing. It's more, it's like toxic. It's like,

It's like chemicals. It's like onions mixed with like acid. Like, I think a 90% of it is my diet. Oh, for sure. Cause I just sweat like burgers. Yeah, he literally sweats grease. Like, if you ate healthy. Oh my God. No, that like burgers. Yeah, he literally sweats grease like you ate healthy Oh my god. No, that's a that's a

God for real. He said oh my god. No, that's a that's a myth. No healthy people smell the worst. No, you're No your burps I'm so sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you That triggered you Like more trauma That was a deep Like you've been holding that For some weeks buddy

You said no Like the little red demon emoji No Stop clacking your knees Stop clacking Oh my god Y'all's bur oh my god yo's burps smell the worst and yo's yo's poops but i'm not smell like why are you sniffing grounder because i had other people's ass ass decay no because i had a girlfriend and she was a super health nut she

ate healthy she was one of the ones that my fitness pal those type of people like what's the metabolic rates of this and she used my potty that one of the ones, my fitness pal, those type of people. Like, what's the metabolic rates of this? And she used my potty that was upstairs. And you could smell it in the garage. And... I just felt the pooling up to the house. I was like, yikes. Damn!

The homeowners association called. They're like, hey, you got a body rotting in your house right now? They did a wellness check. Like, no, it's just a fart. Sorry. No, but it smelled... Like, y'all's poops smell the worst. I was going to say, body rotting in your house right now they did a wellness check no it's just a fart sorry no but

it smelled like y'all's y'all's poop smell the worst i was gonna say i'm not full blown back into my like i'm about to be literally probably starting next week but as of right now like i've we've eaten bad the last couple days but like no i 100 agree what i was saying as i rudely interrupted you i had a teammate when i was at Arkansas Tech, Vontae. Hi, Vontae. Vontae. This man, every time you see him, he's just eating a banana, strawberries, mangoes. Like, straight fruit, water, ate fantastic.

If he ripped ass, clear the premises. Absolutely. I'm talking about, like, grab your belongings. Like, it would eat through metal. Like, you need to get the hell out. It was bad. And everyone was like, I think because of my diet,

my poops don't smell bad because my turds come out like, like a sausage it's wrapped in plastic. You know how like all the contents are inside. Crazy. It's a sausage wrapped in plastic. You know how like sausage is like, like the meats in like a little, there how like sausage is like the meat's in like a little... There's like a thin film keeping the scent in.

Your insides need help. But it takes me... You need a pacemaker in your like kidney. Like not in your... Like you need it in your lower intestine. A pacemaker. It's just like... It's pumping the plastic. But I found a solution.

No you didn't. Okay, you know I have bad swamp ass. Yeah. Alright. I shouldn't have even said that because they're going to be you didn't okay you know I have bad swamp ass yeah all right I shouldn't have even said that because they're gonna be like how do you know that you smelled my taint yesterday I did not kill in ancient elm I swear to god this is real you didn't smell my taint oh no that that was it what I didn't smell your taint I was where was your nose I was okay because you did like I was on almost not on on I was on, almost not on all fours. In a store.

Yeah, not on all fours. That sounded crazy. I was like, I was trying to think of the word. I was crouched, like looking at the super low, like the shirts that were folded. Yeah. I was crouched, and I look up, and this man's ass is like nine inches from my face. And I tell him to sniff it. All right, dog.

I did, because I was nervous about how I was smelling. I swear to God. No, you went down. You did not say sniff my ass. Cam, yes, I did. I wouldn smelling i swear to god no you went down you did not say sniff my ass cam yes i did you did you think i opened it like okay no you didn't say sniff your ass you said you said smell me and you dropped in your ass was in front of my face okay i have to breathe as a being so unfortunately the only whiff i got was rectum area then why did you give me a report about after it because you sniffed it because i stood up and i literally said hey don't do that but second it wasn't that bad okay but and you did not command me to sniff your ass i

was like okay yes sir no i would never sniff a man's ass i suggested it oh grow up you said you literally said smell me. That's what made me look to the left. And I look up and it's ass. What did you think was going to be down there? You think I was going to go as low as you? I thought you maybe would have gave me a second to get back to your level. What a gentleman would do.

A scholar. You smelled my rectum. Don't even say that. You smelled my sphincter. That's it. Okay, dog. Now you're getting on the inner workings, like the plumbings of the body. Of the uterus.

But I found a solution. This is the solution. I bought a utensil from Target. Now, I didn't know that this was for people. I'm very afraid how this is going. Do I look like my head's shaped like a U right now, like the way my hair is? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you got a nice little curl game going on. Looks real nice. I have a date later. Looks good. Oh, you got a nice little Like a curl game going on Looks real nice Yeah I have a date later

Looks good Oh, you have a date later I don't But I found a solution Right? And I thought this was only for old people You know how old people

In their diapers They put baby powder in? Yeah Old and young I found this spray It's like I don't It's like Arm & Hammer

Or it's like Gold Bond Probably Gold Bond or Arm & Hammer or it's like Gold Bonnet. Probably Gold Bonnet or Arm & Hammer. I sprayed it in my ass. It was cold. The overwhelming excitement that you just had to share that with Earth is concerning. Y'all know me. You literally just said you went and bought a smell good spray. You want to see how I did it?

No. Oh, okay. No. I'm cool. I'm cool on you dog uh it was real cold but then i was driving and normally that's when the swamp ass starts so i'm driving it's hot and there's yeah and you know my bumpy you hit a left turn you're like yeah and my my cheeks are going like that oh my god and so just accumulating sweat and smell i'm chafing just listening to the story. But, I got out of my, and normally when I get out of my car and I open my legs

to take the first step out, it's immediate sniff of like, oh my god, wait, wait, you step a leg out and you wipe and sniff? You literally just said,

when I get out of the car, it's immediate, you went like this, you literally went like this, roll the film back, you said, when I step out of the car, I sniff.

I was about to say, no, you need to get beat up like so It's visible if it wasn't visible it wouldn't be a problem. It's visible on your shorts. There's slobber on your shorts It is visible. It's like oh my god. It's it's like beating up It's good has a mind of its own! It was an Indy 500 spit drop. He was going around the town. He was going for a full lap. He was going towards the stench. Oh my god.

It was osmosis. He was traveling to the nearest spot. He was trying to synthesize the evanescence of the swamp. But what I was saying, we gotta get off this topic. Yeah, this is very long. I need to clear the air. I don't go like this. No, you literally said, I step out of the car and I sniff. You're a freak, babe.

You need help. I step out of the car, I spray my gold bar, and I get a little quick whiff. You need a lot of attention. That's how it happens. When I step out, it's immediately, this was the motion of the air. Stop doing that. See, you're doing it. You can't fault me for thinking that. You literally just did it happens. I when I step out. It's immediately. This was the motion of the air doing that see you're doing it You can't fault me for thinking that you lose it again. I step out and this is I just I go right here and sniff

This with the issues so it's this is the walk like the stench rising That's what I meant like the air going up and so is me immediately when I step out of my Jeep and I open my legs It's a ski hitch And it smells fucking horrid. If I ever watched you waft your taint, like waft your gooch up to your nose, no, bro. I'd go home. You know, I can get this tomorrow on my own time. All I can picture is your mom listening to this.

Oh, yeah. She's like, probably like. She's like, gooch is tainted. What? Sorry, mom. I've been to Lisa's house, so she knows I don't smoke good. Yeah. She's probably like, she's probably sitting there talking to like Dusty or my dad. She's like, yeah, he's not mine. I've been at Lisa's house so she knows I don't smoke good.

She's probably sitting there talking to Dusty or my dad. She's like, yeah, he's not mine. Mike's like, oh, that kid's sick. Okay, last nasty topic. Genuine question and we're all friends here. We do talk a lot about poop and stuff like that. Because we're the only real podcast that doesn't afraid to embarrass, well, me at least. It's not afraid to embarrass ourselves. Cam acts like he's God's gift to Earth.

No. Also, I just never had a tail. It doesn't afraid to embarrass it. Well me at least it's not afraid to embarrass yourselves cam acts like he's God's gift to earth No Awesome, I just never had a tail There's levels to this weird shit. You're just above me I Respect you for it. We are We are sink. Whoo. What are we doing? And why are your hands so dry? They're not why they go Sound like chalk That definitely speaking up on the mic your hands shouldn't do that you're going saw okay this is insane you're really okay you're honestly you're Nazar you ever get like it's hard

to poop sometimes it's called constipation no but you feel it like on the brink right it's you canation. Listen, it's in there, right? Like, it's like that. And it's showing its little tail. He literally said, listen. All right, go back. I'm keeping that in. It caught me off guard. No, you know what I'm saying?

It's like showing, right? It's called your turtle. Yeah, turtle heading. Turtle. Turirie dog. Yeah, turtle heading. Turtling. Yeah, turtling. Playing defense is what we call it in the hoop community. So you have that before, right? It's happened.

Oh, yeah. I'm talking about you got to lock those legs and shut them out. If you got poop bad and you can't move, you literally have to go like this. Like if you're normal and you feel it. Okay. No. I'm talking about whenever you're on the toilet and it's like that. And it's just stuck right there.

That's tough. It's never happened to you? It has come on. I Mean you but you don't there's nothing you can do you just have to let it run its course That's when you pull out the phone and you oh you have a secret for that to grab your cheeks. I Don't know if we should continue And you know what you just open up the gates huh huh you know what i mean i don't like everybody's looking at me and you just and you just open up the gates huh get a little flood going and if you crunch your stomach a certain way it like pushes

you're welcome for everybody that's going through medical problems i have never once i have never once in my existence had to take a shit where i had to do an ab routine and physically grab my caboose and open up the trolley gates really i need you to look me in my eyes okay and i need you to be honest with me i'm an honest man. Have you done this? Often. Often. That's how I got it down to a science. Don't touch me the rest of the day.

You mean to tell me you're grabbing your ass. Both of them. Your own. Yeah. And forcefully going. Yeah, not to an uncomfortable distance. That's far. That is insane.

To where you feel a little opening. Oh, we got to get off this. You are... No, this is why people love this show, though. It's because it is relatable. It is honest. No, it's very honest. But damn, like, you're grabbing the caboose

and you're just opening up the gates! All right, that's enough of the nasty, we gotta get off of that. No more poops, stinches, no more caboose. No, that's wicked, bro. That is wicked. Don't talk about my caboose. I touch my caboose how I wanna touch my caboose, and I touch your caboose how I wanna touch your caboose.

You're grabbing downstairs. Yeah. And you're making an extra floor. No one touches me like I touch me. That's, I mean, I'm glad that that's the case. Um, okay. I went to a pet co. Because I don't have any pets and I'm lonely.

So sometimes I like to go touch the pups. You ever have good pups at a pet co? Dude, if y'all haven't done that, that is straight up therapy. But they had something in there. You little puppers. Don't do that. You little puppers. Okay, don't do that

See ya so So they had something inside of the pet code that made me question humanity Right like a weird-ass breathe like a mixed dog like a beast not even a hound. Oh god cats No, you don't pet cats dog. That's careful. Oh For some people it isn't that cats dog. Be careful. Oh but that's not therapy. You don't pet a cat and it's therapeutic. For some people it is and that's okay. Whatever but sure. They had birds. Oh. Not only did they have birds these birds know spoken word. Yeah. They had diction syntax and they knew synonyms and reason. Yeah. No but dude I was going by and i was like oh my god there's birds first of all terrified of birds anything that flies i don't like it yeah there shouldn't be something with wings inside yourself yeah yeah let that go yeah and and i was going i

was like these look birds look like exotic like are these a special type of bird and he goes they actually are they talk and i said no they don't he goes say hello to it and i go hey he goes hello i was like ah no no no i was like that's the devil let him out right now let him out right now that is baffled and he said he's like you can ask him questions oh no no i asked him he's like ask his favorite color and i said no dog and he goes he said red red why do they sound like that they all sound like red but i don't know but i don't understand it yeah no that's because their mouths don't move in the right way they don't have lips they have a big black tongue and it's like oh my god they should have claw like talons that's what i'm saying like how are you speaking exactly and their mouth doesn't move. Red.

You see how the red, red, red. They're like, right. Right. I was like, hello. It's like, okay. You want a corn dog? I'm like, are you going to cook for me too? And I just started to think like, I'm a lonely guy and I'll take any kind of, I thought somebody

walked in, bro. I got scared as fuck. You're like, I'm a lonely guy. I was like, damn. But I got, I was thinking like, I'm a lonely guy. I was like, damn. But I got, I was thinking, like, I'm a lonely guy, and I'll take any kind of camaraderie. You don't have to double down. Well, I would just agree. You don't have to.

It's a simple agreement. You let me say it. Well, you already said it. It's not a double down. It's more of just. That's actually exactly what a double down is. Well, it's like a, I'm not redoing it. I was just.

Doubling down. I was agreeing. Doubling down. We'll call it a cosign. Okay. No, it's still not good. And so I was like, I don't think I would ever get to the point where i would get a animal that can speak english and has great diction like why don't you get a normal like a normal no offense to the

bird people out there get a normal pet that doesn't speak and fly get a hound i could get a little puppy no i'm not gonna lie if i walk in from work and my pet's like, how's your day? I'm like, no. I'm like, yo, I'm never leaving. I'm never leaving home. That is my new best friend. He's like, potato, chip, chip. I would give him every chip in the world.

Yeah. Yo, that's. And he sings songs. No. Oh, my God. No, no. Okay. Equally as weird.

Okay. The dogs that people are training with the buttons. Oh, my God. What are we doing? You're making bud air? Air bud? Bud air. Bud air.

It was bad. It was flipped. It was the flipage. It's like, why are you training your dog to speak? Yeah, and teaching it curse words. Like, what is happening? Bro. And he's literally like, it like pool now yeah i'm like

huh pool pool i'm like no and they'd be looking at you they'd be like now yeah and they stare yeah it's like they're genuinely like hungry hungry and the one that give them like the cuss words too oh my god if you say no if they're like uh fetch fetch please yeah please please fetch now and then they're like no dog goes bitch yeah it's like bitch bitch they they like spam it that's insane it's like crazy but do you think that's real you think the dog actually knows yeah that's but like i don't think they understand they don't know they don't understand the word yeah they don't they they know this button will get me in miriam webster's like but they're like this button every time i click this i get to go into exactly it's more of like a like a um like it's just like a pattern yeah it's like tricks like yeah how you train your dog to do

rollover whatever yeah it's like you're going above like you have 53 words on your living room floor at any given time and your dog's sitting there playing a spelling bee with you like what's going on is it like pulled now food maybe later please sarah yeah it's like what's why can't you just open the door for your dog i don't get like ring a bell or something you know what i mean like it's like why is your why are you i don't want animals that are smart i'm not gonna lie though it definitely gives like like you said for a for a, not necessarily a lonely person. That sounds rude, but like if someone has that time on their hands, yeah, how are you? I would never teach my dog English,

but yeah, if I could, I might, maybe I like my dog to be lesser than me. Yeah. I don't want you to didn't, let's see a dog, an animal animal.

Do you ever think like you ever see your dogs? Your dog is small. So it resembles somewhat of a, like a squirrel. Yeah. Like a squirrel, alien Cornish hen, local bred with twig, chopstick legs, deer, alien, kangaroo thing.

Shout out, Ruby. Malcolm is huge. He resembles a bear, and he's fat. He looks literally like a bear. He's walking around the house sometimes, and I'm like, that's an animal. Yeah, that is an animal. How is he domesticated?

I can tell him, let's go lay down. Why would he not turn on you any moment? That's I want a monkey but I don't want to turn on me and just bites you I don't want to offend any more pet people no your pet is your pet it's like just get a normal one it's each it's own just like hey just get a regular dog you don't need a talking parrot they don't know English instinctively so let's not teach you leave the buttons at office depot yeah just get some normal stuff. You know no, but oh my oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god Oh my god speaking of normal speaking of normal. I like your transitions. I Kid you not on the drive up here today. You want to talk about no, why is there no more normal cars? What do you what is happening on our roads dog? What do you mean normal? There is not I? Passed two cars today swear to God

Cannot make this up this for not only did I pass a car that is literally ready for the zombie apocalypse right now They're absolutely ready for a like a catastrophic event this car Had a battering ram a battering ram on the front yeah with barbed wire i'm not making this up sick a bad no it's not battering ram with barbed wire yeah bulletproof tires like they're they are playing gta in real life they have enemies they they have they have less than five percent tint like it was like it was there was so much time it was almost a mirror it was almost a reflection they're probably lucky they have that because there's probably a double barrel sawed off mounted on the back window

yeah it's like how do you drive that to capital one how are you going to your bank in that vehicle how do you pull up to a kroger when you're ready for war they definitely have problems with the police no 100 they have a rap sheet out of for them either they're super paranoid or they've done things in their life that they are scared that they have repercussions for. There was mounts on the top as if there was going to be an M60. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not going to lie.

I like that. You need help too then. You don't want barbed wire in your vehicle? Do I have enemies? Am I a main character? Is there a villain searching for me? You're the main character in my life. Stop that. So not only not only

Did I see an apocalyptic like doomsday vehicle ten minutes later the same tollway? Mm-hmm. I swear to God. I'm in the left lane like a gentleman. I'm going fast I got to get to where I got to be right. I look to my right Payton there's a man a young man probably same age as us nice okay in the car rgb everywhere oh i hate that shit there's rgb everywhere i hate that and it's not like led lights it's in it's like rgb i hate it like it's giving gaming pc exactly there's rgb everywhere i don't want to think i'm at an edc had turtle beach headphones on no turtle beach headphones on you're not ready for what i'm going to say and i swear to god they were plugged into the car.

They were plugged into the middle console. What capability does your car have? How do you have that capability? And there's only three things that can happen. He is either with gaming headphones on. He's either listening to the radio. How does your car have that capability? I have never seen someone be able to physically plug a headphone jack into your car

Like it was in his middle console. Okay, you're either listening to the radio That's absolutely an FM or you're listening to nothing. But still how is your headphones plugged into your middle console? How does that work? Please tell me you didn't have the mic pulled down. No, it was it was up. It was rested He was he was muted. Okay Let me find out he was playing CS go if he was in the middle of a game of Counter-strike ghost going 82 miles an hour down a toilet. He doesn't he belongs and that's the sickest thing I might have ever heard he had Turtle Beach headphones on I'm gonna say this one more time. He had turtle beach headphones on

Plugged in to the center console what kind of car does that happen what kind of car was it it was like a tacoma it was like a small truck but i'm like like literally your car is like jailbroken like how did you do that who thinks who who scrolls enough and like i want to mod my tacoma it's like okay i can see the bike racks or maybe some big tires little suspension kit he's like nah i want a ps5 in my middle how long are you in that car like why does your center console have a graphics card there should not be ram there shouldn't be 32 gigs of ram in your vehicle it's unbelievable like how i swear to god i'm not kidding either i literally look i see all the lights i'm like oh my god and i went and my head snapped i took a double take turtle beat like first off headphones in a car is completely unsafe

so unsafe you cannot hear anything around unpractical unsafe don't do it and i'm talking about it's unsafe when you have an airpod in and that little bastard can just fall right out you got sound proof literally sound canceling environmental scanning headphones like no one is crouching behind you with game point on the line i want to know how much time you spend in your car where you need that that's what i'm saying if that's your home we're having a different conversation right now that's completely fine it has to be a nomad you're still you yeah you have to be living wherever your head lays because there's no way you have rg RGB with turtle beaches plugged into your middle console Driving to work. That's just not that's not a thing. He's not going you're not clocking in someone not clocking in

He's not salaried. He's literally playing CS go going down the tollway. You're better than me out of flag that man down and it got answers I was thinking about going Like and just get like no even in my own car i don't even say anything out loud i just go like what the rest of my day would have been ruined until i got answers from him no i was fiending to call like i i picked my phone up immediately to call you i was gonna show you and i was like i can't i gotta say i would have called the police i should have i should hell i should have called them strike force and someone else to play him Yeah, he would have known him in the games where you can just drive normal like oh

He had turtle beaches on in the car dog There's a lot there's also like a lot of things I have questions on like how things function because that is like how does that? That's the sickest car thing ever it's no it's disgusting it's disgusting. That's the sickest thing I've ever seen. I also have a question, and it's kind of one of those things you're just born with. Oh, God. It was creeping up. It was crawling up the stairs. Your mic probably smells like yikes. No, if we ever have a guest and they sit here, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'll sanitize it. Here we go. Here comes another one. But there's certain things that you're just born with, and you don't ever question them, like how it works. Yeah. You're indoctrinated to these things.

Everybody's talked about cell phones, and everybody's like, that's crazy how that works. It really is. I'm going to break it down to a simpler thing. I don't get how microwaves work. Honestly, think about it. How do I put kernels in there and then I have a treat two and a half minutes later? How do I put a bowl of seed and butter or seed and oil into a metal box and three minutes later i'm eating caramel corn watching a film how

do i enjoy a movie after this magic box cooks my corn no it simply can't be healthy for us it can't regardless of that what's the science that's what i'm saying i'm eating science like there's a you're we're eating science at that point. We are eating someone's, like, invention that has rays and radiation and contamination. Think how hot that is. All these other nations and Asians. Think how hot that is, right? No, I've all... Oh!

How do you put that in a 500... How do you put that in a 500 square foot apartment and I'm not dead? Yeah, it's like, you're giving me a box that can make fire. It's like a small nuclear bomb. I put that damn Chick-fil-A sandwich in there in the foil one time. There was blue. There was a thunderstorm. There's lightning in here.

There's blue lightning in there. And you mean to tell me there's no safety manual? At all. I'm supposed to just click two minutes and click go? And it's smart. Mine has a button that says potato on it. How do you know? Oh my god, the reheat option.

There's seven reheats on my microwave. So many options. You click reheat, it's like, is it a soup, casserole, dinner plate, beverage, vegetables? I'm like, what the hell does it matter? It's a box of radiation. Just fry it. It doesn't make sense. No, it's terrifying. I know you It's a box of radiation. Just fry it. It doesn't make sense.

No, it's terrifying. I know you say that. Speaking of phones and craziness, right? Okay. You mean to tell me that Neil Armstrong in 1969. Oh, don't get me started. Do not get me started. We can just do a quick little tidbit. That's insane.

There's so much liquid. 1969, he's in outer space in the president are you nuts he called him on a landline phone he is in nebula hey hey you mean to tell me we went to the moon back before there was color on TV? They went up in an aluminum box that kindergartners can make now. And then they said, we're good now and not going back. Did you see the guy's hoof? Did you see the boot he was wearing?

Are you nuts? It's not even the same footprint. It's literally not the same. Did he switch shoes? Because as soon as he takes off off his foot's purple and ice and it's floating into nothing hey that was before www.was invented and we're in space before we could stream a basketball game from two states over we're we're walking and hitting golf balls in outer space are you nuts come on dog we're with ET hanging out making friends Are you not dog president picks up a landline like he's calling grandma for a recipe and he's like hey you're doing good Neil

No, and the fact that happening Neil is so defensive about this now like people go to be actually really he hit somebody Dude, cuz he's cuz he knows it's not that's his claim to fame. He doesn't want to be questioned on it. Him and... I can't either right now. But there was another famous one. Basically, when they both came back, ultra depression. Not funny. Sad.

But like super quiet. Didn't talk to anyone. Didn't do any interviews. Because they know they're not allowed to tell the truth. Yeah, you can't. Why would you want to live the rest of your life being forced to lie? Being forced to lie. and one more cherry on

top okay you mean like the the number one question is like why would we fake it why would we space race the space it's obvious russia had the we can't go too far into it because we have a conspiracy episode that's true but russia had the first man in space first woman in space first dog in space first uh satellite in space everything right this cold war us was like you know what they might be better at space navigation we're better at trickery and lies and deceit because let's go to the desert real quick bring the green screen probably because probably because they would have gotten tortured right if they told the truth which leads me into something i didn't just say that for no reason i was say tort. That's a big word bubba. That's a big word for Elmo. I tortures tough. I have a big fear of being tortured Dude are we going back to this kidnap thing? That's this fair debate. I mean a fair a fair a fair fear

Yes, it is. Yes. It is people will take their fear for a mom. That's at Kroger by herself People need livers and I have a good one dog. All right livers. And I have a good one. Alright dog. Alright. Oh you have a good liver. You have a good liver. Yeah. That liver would drip of Guinness and grease. You have a G&G liver. Grease Guinness boy. Your liver would come up on the donation chart and they'd

literally just swipe left. They'd be like oh my god how'd that get in here? How the hell did that pass the security? Absolutely not. But I was thinking if I got tortured which one would i prefer right none zero obviously but i don't have much control freedom like i want to be back in my bed right but i have a lot of information so they would want that hold up you have a lot of information a lot of about what everything rubik's cues and hair what's a rubik's Qs? Are you nuts?

That's why they're not going to torture you. You don't know shit about nothing. I have a lot of useless information. Yeah, but everybody knows. My mom has told me from a young age I have a lot of useless knowledge. That's easily Googled. That's kind of harsh. But it's Googleable. That's kind of harsh.

But your information is Googleable. Mine's not. Oh, you have CIA intelligence? Yes. Dark Blackhawk 50s level indoctrination? But I was thinking of these two different torture methods, and I need to know which one you would rather pick. Okay.

I'm game. Would you rather get waterboarded? No. Absolutely not. Or would you rather have a fan, high-powered fan, two inches away from your face for like an hour?

Don't mmm him like that. Be drowning above surface or having a fan in my face. You get a break when you get waterboarded. Have you ever tried to breathe? They give you a break because it'll kill you. You can't breathe out whenever you have a fan. Have you ever tried to breathe with a fan in front of your face? Yeah. Can't do it. Okay I'm gonna I'm gonna ask the same question you asked and I'm gonna a fan in front of your face? Yeah. Can't do it. Okay, I'm going to ask the same question you asked, and I'm going to put it in layman terms. Okay. Hey, would you rather die or have a slight inconvenience for 60 minutes? Are you nuts?

That's what you just said. A slight inconvenience? Try to bring that fan over here. It won't. The cord. God damn it. The cord. Kim, let me blow in your mouth.

All right, dog. What are we doing? God damn it. Kim, let me blow in your mouth. All right, dog. Don't ever say that again. Don't do that again. You look crazy. You don't want me to blow in your mouth? No, bro. No.

What did you say? You just, like, moaned. No. Now you can... No. I get where you're going. Breath on breath. Not breath. No, because my.

Air in your face. Like air in your breathing pattern. You can't breathe. It's not. Exactly. You can't do it. You will die. You would definitely die being waterboarded.

No, you won't. If someone waterboarded you for about two. A minute and a half straight. You could be. You could die. They won't do that. Because, you won't. If someone waterboarded you for about a minute and a half straight, you could die. They won't do that. Because it'll kill you. That's the point of torture. It doesn't kill you. You're just tortured. You're not dying. Okay. So are you saying 60

minutes of the fan or 60 minutes of being waterboarded? Waterboarded. 60 minutes. There's no way you believe that. Yes. Because there's no stopping. You don't know why? Your neck would hurt after. You want to know why you're picking the water board?

Because you'd be done about two minutes in. Why? It'd be 58 minutes apiece because you're dead. You die for the first 120 seconds. That's why you're picking that. That explains it. No, listen, dumbass. With breaks.

That's the point of torture. I don't think you're cognitively understanding what torture is. They're not going to kill you. They're going to do it until you're on the brink of death, get you back up, and you're like, and as soon as you get back, they're going to be like, nope. Exactly. Like James Corden, whenever he was flying off the plane. He was like, you can't even stand in a guppy pool.

Okay. And you're talking about you want to get waterboarded. I don't want to, but I would rather that. You couldn't even go in a creek. If I said step in that pond, you couldn't do it. You refuse to. And you want to be in a wooden chair that creaks a lot. You're acting like I want this.

Bent over with a rag or some form of cloth on your face. Yes. Upside down with water going up your nose and in your mouth. Yes. As opposed to a fan just going. Yes, because if the water goes in my nose, I can go like this. And it's out. Oh, and then as soon as you go out, there's more coming in.

So then when you go out and you're physically forced to breathe in because you've just breathed out, you have to go. You know what I mean? I can. You know what I can do if I'm getting waterboarded? If you're getting waterbirded? You know what I can do if I'm getting. What? You know what I can do if I'm getting waterboarded? If you're getting waterbirded? You know what I can do if I'm getting... What?

You know what I can do if I'm getting waterboarded? Yeah, what? Hold my breath. How long can you hold your breath, buddy? Long enough. But listen... 60 minutes? Listen, I'll fake it, right?

I'm getting there waterboarded, right? Your legs are like... Yes, it is. You can't even go you can't even go to a homeowners association pool without stressing listen doc and you mean to tell me you can get waterboarded i can't look i'm getting waterboarded right okay and it's like you're giving birth maybe and and i'm holding my breath but they think that i'm not and so i'll freak out on on on i'll trick them i'll pretend that i'm freaking out it's like this seat and lies and they'll be like oh he's almost dead and i'll go gotcha and then they'll put me back and i'll

go yeah and then they punch you in the mouth but you know do it and then when you go it's like the boy who cried wolf they're gonna stop after first time. Have you ever gotten punched in the mouth? No. Hurts. Hey, you ever been waterboarded? Yes. Yeah, almost. Oh, you've been.

Now you've been waterboarded. You don't do this. It's really convenient. You just forgot you've been waterboarded for the first four minutes of this debate. But it was. I did it to myself on accident. What's going on? You ever in the shower and you put a washcloth over your face?

What's happening? You ever go into the shower and you put a washcloth over your face and then go in front What's happening? You ever go into the shower and you put a washcloth over your face and go in front of the shower like that and put your face in? Scary.

Think about what you just said and the water is running down your face. Yeah. Imagine if you were upside down to where it's going in your nose and mouth.

If I didn't hold my breath and I could only deceive myself. You're taking a lot of losses on the podcast. You just, it's a fan. You've never tried to breathe in front of a fan, obviously. Okay, have you ever gotten yelled at? Would you rather sit with a fan right in front of your face or me dunk you under water? Dunk me under water. Are you underwater? Dunk me underwater.

Are you nuts? I need to see what fans were in your home growing up. Literally when I went to... Unless these are turbines and helicopter propellers. You're ignorant. I could sit in front of that fan right now for an hour straight.

You are dumb as hell. I could sit in front of that fan for an hour straight. I know. No breaks. I know you have artificial breath and you might think that will help koala club koala club patreon coming soon i'm sitting in front of a fan for an hour straight god i was gonna say oh you know what is also a little torture to me have you ever been yelled at to the point where you cried yeah dude it sucks

that shit hurts so just like i didn't have many of them, but like, I actually did one and I went away and like hid. Oh no, you're a wimp. Yeah. Well, I didn't like how I was feeling. So I went and I hid. I tried to fit in my wardrobe, but I couldn't. So I just got behind it.

My mom patrolled the house for like 20 minutes. She couldn't find me. And then she came in my room. She literally was like getting down on the ground, checking on the bed. And I was just like, I'm right here. No, it's sometimes like when we were playing basketball and like there was fans yelling at me, like I don't know what I was going through,

but like I'd be like, damn, this does not feel good. That, and I'm weak? That's the weakest thing I've ever heard. No, but sometimes- I was shooting free throws and there was a platoon of baseball players going, baa, baa, baa, baa. You know what I did?

Knocked them both down, looked at them, gave them a quick little, and ran back on defense. You've never done that in your life. I didn't do that. But I made both free throws. You know what one of my biggest fears is? Getting my card declined in public. Broke alert.

Broke alert. Broke alert. Insufficient funds. How's your day? Broke? Insufficient funds. Baroque-y. But this is the thing, right?

I think that these stores, they need to change the way they alert that your card got declined. It's like they make an announcement of it. It's like a beacon that goes on. It's like an amber alert. Yeah, they have sirens going off. They have a whole marching band come out and be like, this guy can't afford it. They're literally like, hey, he's broke. He's broke.

He's broke. Like at Target, it's like. Oh, my God. Damn. they're literally like hey he's broke he's broke he's broke like a target it's like i'm like god damn i don't know why that reminded me of the incredibles movie i don't that was weird and then it's like everybody's like oh shit and then now i'm hot oh yeah no you you're stench darwin it would come out and then not only do they not like they have that big alert they don't have somebody to come take your things for you. They're like you gotta walk that back. Yeah, dude Like it is brutal. I just take it put it you have a whole grocery order Let's just say your card got declined for whatever reason you have to go. I know you couldn't it's either

I get to leave with these or they stay right here. I'm not Retracking the store and placing are you paying me? Are you paying me to stock? Because that's not happening. Is he going to pay for these groceries that I can't afford? I walk out with them or they stay here. And like waiters and waitresses, they need to be trained on how to tell you your car got declined. Yeah. Pull me to the back.

Yeah, you spit on my hand. Like it. Pull me to the back and be like, hey man, it ain't working. And then we'll figure it out together. Yeah. But don't. Away from the rest of the party. Don't go to my party and be like, hey, that guy it ain't working. And then we'll figure it out together. Yeah, but away from the rest of the party. Don't go to my party and be like, hey, that guy that just gave me the card.

Hey, who's Payton? Yeah. Shit didn't work, bud. And I'm like, hey, who's Payton with the suck-ass card with the chip falling out? Hey, it declined, big dog. I don't think you got any more coins. Like, at this point, we have to fight. And there's always that one person that's like, aw.

Like, shut the hell up, Beck. Yeah, don't aw me. Don't aw. I'm not a dog puppy pay now pay now broke pay now please sarah insufficient funds insufficient funds broke your day was bad this shit sucks no that's that's no i can't they really do like that actually should be in training yeah for real for it should be like hey if a customer's card ever declines you either do one of two things you honestly taking them away from the table is bad too though now that i think about it but there's got to be ways right like you i would say that i'd say the cleanest approach is you literally write on the receipt hey bro card didn't go through meet me in the back no hey bro card didn't go through i'm gonna circle back in one minute and say there's an error.

Switch the card. Or find a result. You don't have to tell anyone. Hell no. Find a result? What is this? Survivor? I got to figure out how to get money in two minutes?

Yeah. What are you supposed to do? Pull me to the back and we'll sit down and have a conversation. What are you going to do? Sign an NIL deal with them? No. You're going to wear their shirt? You're going to pay for the food? Hey, bro. Give me five pieces of silverware i'll clean them right now oh you're gonna barter what else can you do pull out another card you have to have two cards you

literally have to ask a friend hey dog that's when you can be like what if you're on a date that's tough if you're on a date you're gonna go back there and bust tables where your girl's sitting there eating a steak i had to shit babe that steak went right through me and then she calls you shitty booty ass boy because you went and you're pooping at a steakhouse oh you shit everywhere because i have to go exactly that's one thing i will never bow down we talk about the good old poop we're back to poop i don't know what it's like it's like in our it's like in our game they don't get the regular like the the people that just watch on youtube and spotify they don't know what we talk about on patreon that's like times ten yeah there's so much episode on

patreon just like hey y'all see that new crap video it's like what are we doing what are we doing it honestly i know i have enough money right to like go to certain things exactly but i always have that fear and that ptsd from when I didn't of getting my car declined in public. That's rough, dog. Dude, I've gotten my car declined a couple times. That's rough. The worst time I've gotten my car declined, it was on a first date, and she laughed. A laugh with it is, God, that is insult to injury.

It wasn't one of those. That is literally pink Himalayan salt. Pink Himalayan salt right in an open wound. It wasn't those where she was trying to be malicious, but it was like an instinctual laugh. She goes, oh, no, no. I would have rather you pointed and screamed because then it's like, okay, now you're being sarcastic.

You're being funny about it. But if it's literally like, it's like, no. He's trying to hold it. He's trying to put it back in. Oh, God, he's broke. But honestly, what should be worse, though? What? If a dog card didn't work and the girl goes or she goes oh my god you're broke oh no like what stings more the first no the second one 100 yeah no no don't look in your eyes it goes oh my god you don't have money oh that's almost a no i'm calling

my female cousins yeah there you go there you go. I like it. There you go. 100%. I feel like, hey, she made fun of me. Yeah, like, hey, you got to come get her. Drag her out of this. No, the broke life was a tough life. No, it's sick. But I don't think there's an animal on earth that has a tougher life than a penguin.

How does your brain work? How does your brain work? Because I was thinking penguin. We were just talking about finances for like eight minutes. There's probably not, right? Tougher life than a penguin. Penguins have tough lives. That blubbery little bastard, that cute guy that gets to just sit in Iceland in little igloos.

Are you nuts? You think that's what their life is? Just dancing around? I guarantee an ant has a harder life. An ant. I guarantee. What the hell does an ant have to do all day? Exactly.

Work its ass off. Ants work like no others. Cam! A penguin is born and they just get to slide their bellies on ice and then go inside the igloo, grab a turkey sandwich, hang out with the family. Oh my God! Hang out with the family.

An ant from its conception is literally handed a pickaxe and a helmet and they are just... They're building an empire from the day they're born to the day they die. Exactly, an ant's whole life is bettering their life. Penguins, survival. Have you ever seen a sea lion before? It's a literal lion with gills. How often do they have to fight off sea lions?

Every day. And not only do they have to fight sea lions, penguins go through a civil war every day every day they don't know who their ops are they all look alike and they're all ready to fight there's so much blood in a penguin's life are you nuts a little ass ant bro imagine the second you're born you are working like there's no fun you literally work you I don't know if they sleep dog like they've literally they're building bridges and dirt highways and these monuments underground and then they just die and like yeah yeah nothing Oh speaking of that is there is there this big-ass Nephilim giant that can come and just kick over a whole igloo village?

Yes. Oh, there is. Enlighten me. The woolly mammoth. Oh, the woolly mammoth. Cam, ants don't have to— When's the last time you've seen a woolly mammoth? I've never even seen a penguin.

You seem awfully invested in National Geographic. Dude, penguins have to go through identity crisis. Disney ruined penguins. Now every time someone sees a penguin, they're like, dance. And it's like, I'm fighting for my life here. I don't know how to do the two snap. It's an identity crisis, though. You want to talk.

Imagine being an ant. You get off a day's shift. You look to your guy to your left. There's 6,000 ewes. Every ant is the same. You wanna talk about identity crisis, you're all one. Like, no, there's zero individuality. Every ant is the, imagine if the world was Peyton.

That'd be a shit place. That'd be an awful, awful earth. That'd be such a bad existence. Bro, think about this. You have the nerve to talk about identity crisis. Think about this. Penguins have those big ass whiskers and some have the little yellow caps like they have nice little fittings.

Ants are the smallest little thing. Imagine looking down at your arms and you go to talk to your cousin because you're just like, damn, today sucked and he's you. And then the cousin's friend is you. And you just have this queen. You just have a random

queen. It's not democracy because they don't appoint her there's one girl that's just born big and now she's the ruler of the empire she's the queen think about this and all she does all day is just pop out more ants she's literally sitting there and just dropping ants dog she's making more workers and she's like oh what a day hey it's highway 60 and just three three more workers and they literally they come out and they're like this bro think about this oh my god think about this ants don't have to worry about being rehomed there are listen are, there are penguins in Arizona right now

for people's amusement. And every day they got to worry about a six-year-old coming up to the glass, knocking on and be like, do the Cupid shuffle. I'm fighting for my life in here. It's hot. You think ants don't have to worry about being re-homed? Not like a penguin. Hey, you know how we go to sleep when it's nice and rainy and drizzle? That is a cataclysmic event for the entire Ant Empire. One rainstorm, their entire existence, Noah's flood. It is gone. No, they have infrastructure for that. And where do you think the rain goes?

It seeps to the ground. No, they build. Their highways and tunnel systems that they build to get to the surface is literally plumbing for that rain to go down and destroy everything. You're nuts, Cam. You are nuts. Okay, I get a penguin might be a little hot in Arizona. Little? And its belly's getting warm. They're going to work about a little tummy going like dance, dance. And he's like, this isn't Disney, kid. I got blood on my stomach from my cousin. Hey, guess what? They still build them a little pool. They build them a nice little air-conditioned hut. Ants are living in an environment.

You want to talk about six-year-olds smacking on a glass? Six-year-olds can walk up and go, and just mush them. You know why I think you feel this way? Millions done. Millions. Millions done. You know why I think you think this way?

It's because you ate ants as a kid, and you have like this. That was a one-time thing. It was really weird. It was a very weird experience. I already shared it. It was one time. You're nuts. It was one ant. You was a very weird experience. I already shared it. It was one time. You're nuts.

It was one ant. You're nuts. I thought he... I was bamboozled just like you with the damn little nitro spicy gummy bear. I thought he did it. So I said... Bro, penguins...

Penguins have a tough life, dog. A tough one. Like a... Like, it's like... Bro, an ant will never, ever be pet, be sought after. Let's go look at the ants. This is a day-to-day.

A penguin is a cute little thing. This is a day-to-day for a penguin. You wake up, boom, your sister just got taken to go to Florida for the zoo. At least they're adventure. There's excitement. Right when that happens, sea lion, a literal lion with gills that can breathe underwater is trying to get your brother. It's not how sea lions work. It's not how sea lions work. And then, you're a dumbass,

you probably think they have the mane and everything, and they're just, they have big paws. I'm the king of this sea. And then, right when that happens, you think that's enough danger for the day. Then, your cousin comes around and tries to bite you because there is no loyalty in the penguin community. All I heard is that a penguin has a chance to be Liam Neeson. That's all I heard from your thing. They literally, by the way you just described it, there might be a penguin Hollywood. An ant wakes up and literally goes,

all right, well, we're working on the highway today. We're going to go with active construction. Hey, you can't get in my lunch pail. All right, we're going to go for nine hours. Maybe he gets put on lunch duty. He has to go grab lunch from everyone else. That's more than he goes back to sleep. He goes, oh, it was a hell of a day.

Love you, babe. All right, we're back at it. Let's go back to the work. Let's go work. That's more than... That's an ant. Every day until you die. Penguins have to build igloos.

Oh, do ants have nightclubs? I don't know. Penguins do. Where? Igloos. It's not a nightclub. That's where you get shelter from the damn sea lions. Exactly. If you only had shelter from zombies, right, we're in an apocalypse and then 19

people make your way into that, you're saying we're not having a party? And then your cousin stabs you in the middle of sleep. Exactly. And then your brother gets taken to Nebraska! Hey, there's adventure. There's room for excitement. A penguin shouldn't sweat! Ants, dude, you could take 30 ounces of cold water

and ruin a civilization. But I'm convinced that penguins have longer lives. You're an idiot, you're an idiot. Cam. If you think of penguins that live longer, they're bigger, they're cute. Penguins are not cute. That's Disney brainwashing you.

Penguins are cute. They're blades for talons where they slice each other's guts but, again, they have a lot of blubber it's meant to be stabbed wow it's they know dude penguins not hell you go watch happy feet put your hand up you go watch happy feet and you go watch ants ants tell me all right tell me who has a better life happy feet isn't real neither is. Yet they went to war. They went to literal war. Ants are mean.

Ants are beetles or something. There was gas. One guy, his entire body disintegrated from his skeleton. This isn't Osmosis Jones, Keo. He's pretty cool too. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. All right, I think it's time for people's favorite segment.

You know what segment that is? Yeah. Pop culture. Paying in care. Pop culture, pay and in-care. Pop culture, pay and in-care. Woo! Do you have something for pop culture? I'm sad.

You already know what it is. What happened, Bubba? Come on. What happened, chicken? Who? Bron. Oh, yeah, Bron got his ass out of there. Bron's out.

Sorry, Bron. He's 38 in his 20th season, dropped 40 ball in an elimination game. And Anthony Davis is, oh, baby ass soft. Unbelievable player, but... Not anymore. Dog, you just need,

like, we literally needed more out of you. I don't know what else to say, bro. How do you feel about what Scottie Pippen said about... I like that.

Okay, let's be careful. Be careful. Let me preface this. We are friends of the Pippens. Yes. the show shout out to scotty jr even if even if jr was never on like i've always liked scotty pippin because he's just a complete basketball player like i love scorers too but i like you know me like the way i play basketball i could walk into a damn wherever right now and probably depending on who's there and what the level of play be like the best player

or the second best something like just elite compared to the records and i still like i'm passive as hell yes i like playing the game the right way yes that's just me like that's honestly outside of right when i really started watching nba seeing lebron and just being with him from the jump outside of that i truly think I really also enjoy him because he plays the right way. Yeah. But basically, what Scottie Pippen said... Except for defense. Now. He was elite. It's been for a while he's been bad at defense.

Ask Zach Urbanis. Zach Urbanis, when we were working out in Austin, literally is on file, on quote, saying LeBron James in his prime, when he wants to... Prime. Out of the prime. In his prime is the greatest help side defender of all time. Out of the prime, I'm talking about. Obviously James in his prime when he wants to prime out of the prime in his prime is the greatest help side defender of all time out of the prime I'm talking about obviously in your prime you're going to be the best at everything you've done but he's the best at everything he's ever

done because he's the greatest player ever to touch a basketball basically Scottie Pippen reiterated that before he got there to Chicago Mike was just a scorer he's going to put up numbers and not do anything people fail to realize regular season record before Scottie Pippen, under 500. Yeah. Lost more than he won. Playoff record before Scottie Pippen,

one in nine. One in nine. Because the first round series would only be a series of five, best of five. Got swept twice. Like, what are we talking about? To the Koala Club,

people in the Koala Club that are fans of basketball and fans of Jordan that are on the Jordan side, comment right now and say you're in the Koiclub and I'm a fan of Jordan. And we will call you and Cam will debate you on Patreon. On a Patreon episode. How do you feel about this comparison?

Whenever I was getting recruited, all of these... And I never knew how I felt about it because I was kind of ignorant. I got compared... I already know. It's going to be like a solid, grimy role player. They always say I'm a mix of Scottie and Dennis. Me personally, I'd give you more Dennis. Of course.

Not taking away like skill. Scottie had a bag with him. But like you're just truly like you would lay your body on the line for the win. Like which is screaming Dennis Rodgers. And Dennis would definitely wear a tail yeah oh hell yeah Dennis already had the damn the crop circles and everything like he would definitely have a tail maybe some Troy Palomaro hair do you know that Dennis Rodman like when he goes on press runs he tells like he when he went to Barstool for interviews he told he had his

representative come into the office before and he says hey out of respect Dennis wants everybody to stand up and bow when you come into the room. Oh my God. Like an office of like 300 people. What's the most I'm him moment you've ever heard? Right there. They didn't do it because they thought the representative was joking.

And so Dennis leaves after the interview, right? And the representative comes back into the office and he's like, hey, I just want to let y'all know that Dennis is actually really upset that y'all didn't respect what he wanted. And they're like, what? I'm not going to lie though. If I was also one of those, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that shit either. Dennis is actually really upset that y'all didn't respect what he wanted. And they're like, what? I'm not going to lie though.

If I was also one of those, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that shit either. I'm definitely not doing that. You know, that's like your culture. I'm not about to tell me to bow to him. Like if I'm in like a different country, that's like the culture.

Of course. Yeah. You're Dennis Rodman. Like I'm going to respect and support that. Yes. You're not about to walk. Like that's like, that's like we had Vukum on.

He goes I need y'all to bow. We're going to beat Vukum to ass. I was going to say Severus security. Vukum? What?

Like. We love Vukum. We love you Vukum. Good old Vukum. Actually. Hey your fast flips hilarious by the way. He's so good.

You do them a lot. He's so good. Vukum is. Me and Vukum have some beef. Not in any disrespectful way Vukum but like it is so entertaining. It's so entertaining. His fast entertaining. It's so entertaining.

His fast flips, they're so entertaining. Yeah. No, Vukum is really good. It's crazy. Vukum and I have beef. I FaceTime him regularly, and he doesn't... Does he not respect me as a client? Because what if I wanted to buy something, and he doesn't answer me?

Oh, we should put that in a poll. What? You'd get dragged. I'd get dragged? For what? Maybe not dragged. Say it. Bubba here is thinking about buying another watch.

Why would I get dragged? For wanting a watch. What's the price? Oh, that's not important. That's not important. I'm just kidding, but he's... Yeah. Well, I think that was a good...

Pop culture? I think so, too. What was it? Pop culture. Peyton and Cam. Pop culture with Peyton and Cam. Woo! I think that was a great episode.

I think that was a fantastic, fantastic, fantastic episode. Cam? I still think you're a dirtbag for thinking Penguins got it rougher than ants. I think you're an idiot, and you're weird for not opening your cheeks if you have to poop, and you're having a hard time. You know what? I'm going to call up Turtle Beach Guy. You're going to be his passenger.

You're going to be the co-pilot for his flight emulator that he's playing while going down the tollway. That is the sickest dude. Oh, my God. I should have took a picture. Guys, since the first live show is sold sold out comment down below right now where you want us to go for our second show what's it already we pulling up to we have a good idea but we'll take your suggestions we love suggestions shorts are getting rode up do you have a secret code for them i do have a beautiful secret code first off thank you we love you so so much this

is fantastic episode 62 we're gonna see you you right there you not the other one you we're gonna see you next week, episode 63. We love you all so much. June 30th, Southside Music Hall, Dallas, Texas. We'll see you soon. Everyone that bought a ticket, we'll see you there. Everyone else, leave right there, right, a little lower, right there. Leave it right there in that comment section where you want us to go next.

But this week's secret code is going to be PVA. You already know. I'll give him five seconds. PVA. PVA is penguins versus ants. Come on, dog. I was going the more singular route, just penguin versus ant, but it's all right. We can go plural.

PVA, leave it in the comments. Leave it in the TikTok lives. Leave it in the Patreon lives. Leave it in the Instagram lives. Leave it in the Instagram posts. Leave it in everywhere you possibly can. Confuse the casuals. Make them say, what the hell is a PVA? Make them come find out right here.

But no one's got a harder life than a koala bear. You know why? Because what I took a lot of bears over to Christmas. So much just excess dirt came off. So much debris. And we will see you next time. Kim, I smell like garbage. My testicles are wet.