You Should Know Podcast - WE SURVIVED A PLANE CRASH! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

TOUR TICKETS: https://linktr.ee/youshouldknowpodcas... NEW MERCH: https://youshould-know.shop/password PATREON: Patreon.com/YouShouldknowPodcast FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-S... NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids... TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 TOUR TICKETS (Peyton’s Sick) 1:40 CAM JOINS 3:02 Embarrassing College Bball Story 4:40 College Live Show Recap 6:53 Our Plane Almost CRASHED 10:19 Mack Weldon 11:39 S*X Scenes on a Plane! 16:28 Trying Lipstick on in Public 17:55 Gender Deodorant Debate 19:56 Stealing From Stores 20:46 HARRYS 22:10 The Clapping Debate! 24:05 THE BIRTHDAY SCRIPT! 30:53 RocketMoney 32:22 Peyton Quit His First Job Story 34:29 Roll Call Panic Attacks! 37:45 Exposing Old TEACHERS! 42:07 Re-Naming Yourself 46:01 The Wh*te kids scare me 50:23 BOOKING.COM 51:36 Getting Jumped as a Kid! 54:14 Flirting at the Baptism 55:19 EMBARRASSING School Play Story! 58:16 BETTERHELP 59:47 SOLVING MATH RIDDLES 1:19:26 DR.P (Make Them Regret!) 1:23:21 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: Harry’s: https://www.harrys.com/lpg/us-podcast... Rocket money: https://app.rocketmoney.com/signup?_f... BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/get-starte... MackWeldon: https://mackweldon.com Booming.com: Book Your Next Trip With Booking.com ! https://www.booking.com YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg... JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by our friends at Factor. Make this your best season yet with nutritious two-minute meals from Factor. Eating well has never been this easy. Just heat it up and enjoy, giving you more time to do what you want. Cam, you know me, right? Yes, I do. Do I like cooking? No.

Do I like grocery shopping? No. Is it hard for me to eat healthy? Yes. Guess what's helped all that? Factor. Factor. They deliver meals to your literal doorstep doorstep in a box that says factor yes right and online you can pick what kind of meals they bring to you so i know there's going to be delicious cuisine in that box that i want that is healthy for me that is no prep there's no cleanup i pop

that john in the microwave i'm eating better it tastes good yummy tummy and it saves me a lot of money in time oh my god you're the time is impeccable factor powers your day with satisfying breakfasts on-the-go lunches premium dinners and guilt-free snacks and desserts it's easy to savor more this spring. Factor Meals, pack in the flavor with none of the fuss. Get started at factormeals.com slash YSK50OFF and use code YSK50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code YSK50OFF at factormeals.com slash YSK50OFF for 50% off plus free shipping. Now on to the rest of the episode.

It's truck month at GMC. Tackle the open road with added confidence in a 2025 Sierra 1500 Pro Graphite at 0% financing for up to 72 months. With an available 5.3 liter V8 engine, 20 inch high gloss black painted aluminum wheels, off-road suspension with available 2 inch factory installed lift kit, plus a towing capacity of up to 13,200 pounds. You'll be ready for anything this Truck Month. Truck Month is on now. Ask your GMC dealer for details. The You Should Know Podcast episode 116. If you're new here, if you haven't already, look below. You see the subscribe button isn't pressed.

You're wrong. If you look even more below that, you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. We have done our first show of the summer tour. Round of applause for Boulder, Colorado. Starting us off strong.

Boulder, Colorado. Boulder, Colorado. Let me tell you something. Y'all were one of the best crowds we have had for all the tours, so thank you so much. In three days, we're going to go to Washington, D.C., and I hope y'all can even match half the energy that Boulder, Colorado gave to us. D.C., we're coming in three days.

The tickets are available right now. Link in the bio. If you want this tour merch that I'm wearing right now, audio listeners, go over to YouTube. I'm wearing this tour merch right now. It is only available on tour. So if you want this once in a lifetime, get your tickets right now. Link in the bio.

We love you guys so much. We are so excited for this tour. It is so much fun to be going on the road and seeing all of your pretty little faces, touching you at the meet and greets, taking pictures with you, hearing your stories, and putting on an amazing show for you guys. Thank you guys so much for being the best family in the world. We are on the road to 1 million subscribers. So share this with your friends, family, loved ones, and your haters.

We love you so much. And now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. Cam. Hey, that's why I'm- It's a great day for me to be back. You started off this episode, you gave me a little blood flow.

Blood flow's a good thing, depends on where it is. If it's in an open wound, it's not good. bleeding out okay cam i think did you ever have a dream of being a war vet i feel like you really wanted to be honored no i like that i've always i've always wanted to be a warrior yeah not really a soldier machinery is terrifying helicopters trench warfare none of that i want to go back in time. I want to be sword and shield against another grown man from another country, both fighting for our honor, and hopefully I'm the better man. One time, so Cam was... But there's no re-dos.

There's no round twos. And you're not going to the gulag. No, if you lose, you're gone. You're out of there. You're going straight up to the ancestors. You say, hey, I tried my best. And they go, you failed. Get out.

Do you want to go back to your ancestors? Absolutely not You want to shake some of their hands And be like thank you for your work Thank you Like I wish we I was about to say something Absolutely insane

I'm about to say something that's true So Cam was in this rough patch in college basketball right Him and our head coach didn't really get along And so he was like Our head coach was like Cam you gotta give us grit boy You gotta give get along. And so he was like, our head coach was like, Cam, you got to give us grit, boy. You got to give us more grit. And so Cam was really frustrated.

And when Cam's frustrated, he bites and he yells. And he's like, I'll bring a gun. Okay. Sorry, CJ. Sorry. Just mute it. And so we were doing this toughness drill when you roll the ball on the floor and two people dive and you basically fight.

And whoever comes with the ball wins. It's a toughness drill. Yeah. And so cam was really just getting ridiculed in practice right bad and like he was making us run every time cam messed up we would have to run so we were all getting on cam too and cam was getting frustrated and so cam went with like the biggest strongest dude on the court right they both dive on the floor for a loose ball. Cam gets scraped up bad. He's bleeding out of his knee. And we're all like, yeah, Cam, yeah. And Cam, he's bleeding all over his leg. He stands up, goes to our coach, our head coach.

He goes, is this what you want? He wipes the blood and wipes it on his face. Is this what you want? Is this what you want? Cam had to go to get a wellness check afterwards. We were like, They made me go to the nurse. We were like,

Cam has, he needed therapy for two weeks after that. It was honestly, like, don't pick on me. Don't take my kindness as a weakness. I shoot the ball. I don't need to be in there throwing elbows.

What are we, what are we doing? I'm a good help side defender, but no, I don't need, I don't need to go up against every play. Mute it if you'd like. No, he smelled like eggs.

Okay, now we have to mute it. Now we have to mute it. It was legit, though. How was your week, Bubba? How was your week? It was good. We went to Colorado. Boulder, Colorado.

We had a fantastic show. Shout out to all the Coloradians and all your grandparents, because that is an old place. Oh, my God. Hey, we went to Boulder, Colorado. We landed. Oh, we landed my god we were like the median age here is 64 100 everybody here is on their way out 100 it was the oldest city that is where you retire in colorado you live in you live in pueblo colorado springs denver as soon as you hit 50 you're like honey pack the car up we're going to boulder we're going to b Boulder. There was nothing but grandparents and grandchildren out there. No parents.

Everyone was four or 68. That's all it was. And you could tell it's a college town because it was empty. It was like, low-key it was eerie. We were walking around at like 2.30 on a Friday. There's not a soul in sight. I get people have jobs, but it's like, no one's shopping. No one's enjoying

the birds and the fresh air this is how you know it was a small city because we had an uber driver the same uber uber driver everywhere we went yeah three days in a row we go to uber loaded up to the same guy he's like hello again yeah it's like how's it going he waited for us in mcdonald's like he was like i will not get booked to the rest of the night. I will wait for you here. Oh, God. I didn't even think about that. I feel bad for the drivers. Yeah.

Trying to make some coin in Boulder. We tipped them well because we knew it was. We did, but I'm saying when we're not there. Hopefully. Does that electricity stay on? Does that Wi-Fi get paid for? I hope so. God bless them.

God bless the. Can we talk about the Uber people not answering their phone? That shit is annoying. That is the worst thing ever. If you have a phone and an obligation via Uber to answer, if someone leaves something in your car, they think they'll answer the phone. I think it's a Colorado thing, too, because last time I did it,

no, it was in Tampa when I did it. It was in Tampa. That was bad. I almost went to jail over that one. I was standing outside a club for 30 minutes waiting to get this man's phone. People are walking up. She fell. Don't talk about her.

I'm not. That girl fell. She dropped her pizza, picked it up, took a bite. I said, God, she's having a rough night. That pizza had every bit of Leonardo and Master Splinter on it. She dropped right over a sewer. She was like, ah! Took a bite.

Sick woman. Let's talk about before we went to Boulder, on the way to Boulder, Colorado. Let's talk about that good old airplane we went on. We had the worst flight in existence

from Dallas to Denver. Yeah, you're talking about the Texas Giant that we were on? A damn rollercoaster? That shit was insane. That felt like a wooden rollercoaster from the 80s.

Yeah. It's so frightening because you're in midair. So when they do those drops, when you're on a rollercoaster, you can see, okay, I'm going down. Then we're going to get to the bottom, come back up. This shit, it was like, and you're just like, oh, my God. I was literally just sitting there, right? As I should be in a plane. As you should. Right. Left. I was literally just sitting there, right? As I should be in a plane. As you should.

Right. Left. It was bad. Down a piece of the roof fell off the plane. Did we ever tell you that? No. The damn stewardess that was sitting in front of us, right when the turbulence is going,

he literally stands up, another one comes up, they start talking, pointing at the ceiling. The roof came off. I swear to God. And they're looking all concerned and ceiling and the roof came off look swear to god and they're looking all concerned and they sit down and we weren't going to say anything but we were peeping we were like like something's wrong i was like now i'm actually sweating like turbulence sucks but now i was like is the plane falling apart like our is this our dying day and then a older woman that was right in front of us she goes what was all that about like what he goes

oh just a piece of the ceiling's coming off i said what are you saying to me right now and she goes oh um is that like standard are we okay he's like oh it's just decorative I turn around there's steel beams yeah I was like oh my god what's happening the scariest fight I think I've ever been on bro believe it or not that's two for me that's not that one. You told me that you had a worse one in Orlando. Me and Sanjan flew to Orlando. It had to have been in the middle of a hurricane. Yeah. That.

Bro, I mean, me and Sanjan were literally praying. Like, that was bad, bad. It's bad, bad. It's one thing. I don't really get scared. Like, I'm not scared when that happens. It's more like I'm uncomfortable because, like, my balls are in my throat. 100%. like I'm uncomfortable because my balls are in my throat. 100%.

I like to choose when balls are in my throat. I like the freedom of choice when that happens because I'll enjoy it. If I signed up for that, if I put that on the good dinner menu. Don't we hit him twice? You know what I mean? The good dinner menu. If I a la carte-ed those balls in my throat, I'll be okay. But if I didn't sign up for testicles in my mouth, I don't want it.

What? Oh, come on. What? A la carte testicles in my mouth I don't want it what oh come on what testicles to the mouth is sick work that is gross you're like I just want the ball yeah I was like 18 bucks for the balls in the mouth let's go give me the sack what are we on this but but I'm more of like I'm more of like if I die there's no I can't control it like I have no control of what happens after this that's kind of just at least make my balls stay where I die, I can't control it. I have no control of what happens after this. That's kind of where I'm at. Just at least make my balls stay where they're at.

I don't want them in my chest. Bro, could you ever... Go ahead. No. I hate when you do that. It's sad, though. It's sad. Oh, no, yeah, don't say that.

I know what you're about to say. Like a plane crash. Yeah, it's sad. Could you imagine it? It's sad. Could you imagine that? No. I mean, but what if it was in the water, though?

Oh. That wouldn't be that bad. No, that would be worse for me. No, it wouldn't. Because everybody else would survive. CJ can swim. Pierce can swim. Liv can swim. I mean, but what if it was in the water, though? Oh. That would be that bad. No, that would be worse for me. No, it wouldn't. Because everybody else would survive. CJ can swim. Pierce can swim. Liv can swim.

I can swim. You would go straight to Liv. You would protect her. I'd have to. You would find and save her. I'd have to. CJ, I don't know what he would do. CJ would just be like,

Yeah. And Pierce would swim straight to the store. He's like, did y'all mean to do that? Is that on purpose? He's like, am I going to get flyer miles back? This is bullshit. He's like, this is uncalled for. And then you'd be like,

no, we'd get you. Yeah, no, you wouldn't. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Mack Weldon. And boy, do I love me some Mack Weldon. Mack Weldon is just fantastic. I'm going to be very vulnerable to you right now, Cameron. Let's do it. I have Mack Weldon and boy do I love me some Mack Weldon. Mack Weldon is just fantastic. I'm gonna be very vulnerable to you right now Cameron. Let's do it. I have Mack Weldon underwear on right now.

It is so comfortable. Let me see. I'll let you feel rather than it because you have to feel this. It's so comfortable. Cam you know we're on tour right now. Traveling can be uncomfortable. Very. What do I always wear when we're on a plane? Mack Weldon. Whether it's the sweatpants, whether it's the shirts, whether it's the underwear, I have to have Mack Weldon on because I look good and boy do I feel better. Some guys just want to look good without calling attention to themselves and Mack Weldon apparel gives you an understated good look for understated confidence. They're not flashy, just classic, always in style,

and made from the world's most comfortable performance materials. Breathable underwear that keeps you cool, dry, and comfy all day. Crazy comfortable but elevated sweatpants. And an ultra-soft antimicrobial tee for when you need to stay fresh longer. Get timeless looks with modern comfort from Mack Weldon. Go to MackWeldon.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code YSK. That's M-A-C-W-E-L-D-O-N dot com and promo

code YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. But, worse than the turbulence, this is the worst thing that can happen on a plane. I like to watch movies on planes, yes? This is the worst thing that can happen on a plane. I like to watch movies on planes. Yes?

Yes. The worst thing on a plane is watching a sex scene in a movie on a plane. That is the worst thing that could ever happen. And the woman that was sitting next to us, she was like 55, 60. First off, to hell with her. She had the audacity to ask me can you hit my reading light for me i'm like ma'am i'm trying to go to bed burning hell i'm trying to go to sleep it's dark she goes hit that light for me i touch this light it's a damn of a fucking ray of light like so

bright for her to flip through like a woman's health she's yeah she's like a bullshit magazine no she's gonna do people's magazine from march 2013. I'm like, Brad and Angelina Jolie. Yeah, they adopted the kids. They've been done. Like, give it up. Give it up. Barack's the president. It's over.

Give it up. Like, that shit's 11 years old. She's flipping through wide awake, bro. So I was watching Napoleon. Yeah. Bro, and I didn't know. In the movie, nope, spoiler alert. In the movie, Napoleon's a very short and angry man.

Yes. I guess he's not blessed downstairs as they say in the movie, nope, spoiler alert, in the movie, Napoleon's a very short and angry man. Yes. I guess he's not blessed downstairs as they say in the movie. I've been known. I've seen downstairs. Oh, how would you rate it, one through ten? Blessed be thy name. Good morning to you. How are we doing?

But we're doing great. Bacon's on the table. Anyway, menu's hot and ready. So is the sausage. Coffee's sizzling. I got the whole 12-pack. You ever opened up them trousers and you looked at it and you said, thank you today? Hey, there has been some time where it's like an unexpected welcome home party.

Yeah, it looks like you're a manufacturer in Greece. I think we've talked about this often, but when you leave a shower, it's not your best of days, is it? All the time? I'd'd say i think i have i have more good days and bad days after the shower i'm like a 99 out of 100 i need to turn the water hotter no leave the shower no because my ghibli bits when i leave a shower it's like you remember those toys that would come like this and you put them in water and they expanded that's what i'm working with after the shower opposite my ghibli bits form into a singular

ghibli bit i have i have a ghibli bit when i leave the water and i go i was just boiling in lava what is what is this no sometimes i think i think about submitting a picture to guinness world records sometimes i think this belongs on ridiculousness you know what i mean this this is nice the worst part is when i rip that curtain i'm just staring at myself in the mirror. Oh, my God. Okay, sex on a plane. Sex on a plane. Back to Napoleon.

So he's a very short and angry man, right? His wife, Josephine, cheats on him, doesn't love him, and gives him very mediocre sex. Hey, welcome to my life. Me and Napoleon, one and the same. There's a scene. I look real quick because I'm like, fuck. Yeah, you got to hide it. I look, and the woman next to me, she to my life. Me and Napoleon, one and the same. There's a scene. I look real quick because I'm like, fuck. Yeah, you got to hide it. I look and the woman next to me, she's like this.

I said, are you getting off right now? I said, what are you doing? What are you doing? Bro, sex scenes on a plane are the worst because I watched Oppenheimer on a plane. And he was getting busy with that one girl. He was getting down in that nuclear plane. And you could see all areola and everything. 100% nuclear. And I was like, with that one girl. He was getting down in that nuclear plane. And you could see all areola and everything. 100% naked.

And I was like, I like this actress. So I didn't want to skip the scene. He said, hey, P said. Oh, my God. I hit it with one of these. I was like. It's the worst thing ever. Sex on a plane is a very awkward thing.

Do you ever. Go ahead. Sorry. I was going to say, especially when you have a People's Magazine reader right next to you. Have you ever watched a sex scene with your parents God I always left the room Oh my god Me and my dad

Dapped up one time Oh no That's Awkward You're just like this You're like Your mom's like You nasty mother

I'm just kidding That never happened No so my favorite movie Of all time Growing up was Troy And right in the beginning You see a lot of nude ass Yeah And then you see a sex scene Yeah I'm just kidding. That never happened. No, so my favorite movie of all time growing up is Troy. And right in the beginning, you see a lot of nude ass. And then you see a sex scene.

Good bosom grab by Orlando Bloom. And all of a sudden, every time when that scene comes up, I'd be like, damn, I got pissed. And I'd walk out. I had it to the T. I was like, I'm in the bathroom. He's like, all right, he's grabbing the breast. I go, I'm like, breast been grabbed.

He's flipping over right now. All right, let's go out. I flush and I'd walk back out. I'm like, all right, time for battle. And every time I would dip in the scene, come back. It's just like, but why is it awkward? Because you don't want to watch that. You don't want to share that memory. But why?

Oh, I watch it. It's a natural thing. It's a part of the movie. The whole family sat down to enjoy the movie. You don't want to see that. It's one of the scenes. you don't want to sit down to enjoy the movie you don't it's one of the scenes you don't want to see that though i watch wolf of wall street with my grandma oh my god imagine how that night went yeah imagine how that night went margot robbie's like all right you got to cut that that's insane that's what she that's insane she didn't play she covered but okay then you saw so we went to so we came back from boulder colorado right we did i went to target the we came back from Boulder, Colorado, right? We did.

I went to Target the day after. I saw that. How? Because I FaceTimed you and you were being secretive. Oh, yeah. Because I don't like when you do that. I literally FaceTime my friend. I go, what are you doing?

He goes, it's none of your business. Yeah, because you're making me feel like you're trying to get me. Get you. Because Cam's been trying to line me up recently. Like, whenever we were leaving the airport, he got on like four calls. Didn't tell anybody who he was talking to. And he's like, yeah, we're five minutes away from the house. Another call. Yeah, we're two minutes.

We're pulling up. We're going to the other street. Third call. I'm like, make sure your car's behind ours. You're like, yo, what the fuck? Yeah, I'm like, what are you doing? Who are you talking to? So I go into Target, right?

I'm by myself. I'm walking past the makeup aisle, right? I like to look in there to see if there's any potential. Maybe it's Maybelline. I was like, maybe it's you. You know what I mean? I'm there to see if there's any potential. Maybe it's Maybelline. I was like, maybe it's you. You know what I mean? I'm looking to see if there's any potential future Mrs. Hardens. And I'm looking.

Never. And so I see, and there's this girl looking in the mirror. And I'm like, why are you looking in the mirror? What are you looking for? What are you looking for? I see her grab a lip balm off the shelf. Unpackages lip balm. She starts to wipe her lips with lip balm.

She goes, closes lip balm, puts it back. She deserves for the target dog to chew on her right calf muscle. She deserves exile and shunning from the community. She goes, Could you imagine? Huh? Could you imagine? Deodorant.

First off, does that piss you off how women take the cover off? How do women take? I've never been around a woman enough to see how they take it. Males, it's like an unwritten code in their binary code, like DNA. Men, when we take it off, little caps on, right? What do we do? Yeah, you lift it up and do it you every woman takes off deodorant like this they bite it they bite the cap and take i swear to god women bite the cap off the deodorant i can't speak for all but i've seen it through sister mom uh wife friends of wife live even

call one day do you bite this off wait women of you should know if you do that in the comments let me know is that don't you lie be vulnerable don't you lie say the truth in the comments yeah men go logical and women go yeah dude that is true see okay i will try stuff on in a store but i will at least have the decency of throwing it away after what i've tried mouthwash in a store because i've had a rank and rancid breath like i've ate three rats and tongue kissed a giraffe you know what i mean i've had a hell of a kiss i've had them dress me like a big purple tongue oh my god oh my god it go oh oh god you're gonna make me gag oh you're gonna make me you're gonna make me taste my breakfast it wouldn't be the first so i i've

done that where i've walked into i'd be like i need mouthwash because it's so bad and i've done and i've i get the travel size ones in a little dollar section i'll go like that be like okay throw it away i'm not gonna reseal it okay okay you know what i mean but but i feel like you belong i feel like that's better than putting it back on the shelf. Well, you are then a criminal. I'd rather be a criminal than a descendant of Haiti. Hades. And that's bullshit. You mean to tell me you've tried mouthwash in a store?

You know what? There's like three different security layers you have to go through to do that. Pick it up. One. Plastic. Plastic. Two. Cover.

Three. Then you take the shot of sometimes they have the little paper over the cap so you go to the paper and then you shoot you ever stole from a store you ever tried on clothes and stole from a store you tried on a garment walked out in it oh winter's the best time because you got a big old you gotta get all canada goose on you you got a big old coat on you you go and put that you put on two t-shirts put that goose back over you what example are you setting for the youth oh i'm never going to be an example i'm just saying something i've done i'm just myself you know what i mean you've stolen in a can of the goose i i like you have stolen in a canadian bird forever 21 i used to hit them for licks what are you nuts forever 21 are you crazy who's gonna stop me jessica from the front hey she's like stop

make me you know what are you gonna do it's all right okay cool i'm not saying it's a good thing that i did we all had our troublesome years oh you had a troublesome like decade you know what i mean this episode is brought to you by our friends at Harry's. It's happened to all of us, but getting ripped off is no joke, especially when there are razors involved. The people at Harry's were tired of seeing everyday people paying way too much for low-quality shaving products, so they found a way to make beautifully designed razors

without laughably high prices. Get better designed and better valued grooming products made by a company that forged their own path into the grooming industry and that is Harry's. Guys, Harry's sent over the trial set and let me tell you, it is sleek, it is easy, and it is amazing. Comes with a five blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shaving gel, and a travel cover. It is beautiful. The handle is fantastic. The shave is so crisp and clean. Harry's just knows what they're doing.

You can get a 5-blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and travel cover for just $3 at harrys.com. It has the highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry, and there's a no-risk trial. If you don't like your shave no worries it's on them stop getting ripped off with harry's you can get a shave that is a cut above the rest get started with a 13 trial set for just three bucks at harry's.com slash ysk that's harry's.com slash ysk for a three dollar set. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Okay, we just did this earlier, and I was going to wait.

We did it off camera. Now I'm going to bring it up. Who the hell? I mean, really think about this. Just think about this. One day, somebody did something so well that another man thought this was an appropriate reaction. He did so good. Instead of saying, good job, Harold, he goes, say clap.

Who started clapping for good things? That is a great point. Is that not instinctual? No. I think clapping is instinctual. Clapping is not instinctual. It's kind of like walking. No.

Because babies clap. No. You've never seen a baby clap? Babies go. That's kind of like walking no because babies clap no baby you've never seen a baby clap babies go that's a clap that's the beginning clap but that's not a clap oh my god it's not a clap for an accomplishment who created accomplishment claps who was the first guy that just went he started whacking it was probably it was probably some shit like this, too. At the beginning, they were probably like... Some nasty shit. He's like... Fire. He's like, who did that shit?

I would threaten to say it is an instinctual thing to clap. No shot. I remember clapping. I remember my first clap. Oh. Tell me your first clap. Tell me to the T your first clap. What's the first thing you clapped for?

Blue's Clues. You lying bastard. Blue's Clues. Blue's Clues. What, he opened the envelope and you went... He found a clue and I was like, this is crazy, dog. I was like, he did it, dog. He's so good.

I'm like, every time he figure it out. Every time he will. He said, mom, ain't no way. He said, it's a Sherlock Holmes and a dog. And he's Cuban or whatever you say. He's Puerto Rican. Oh, blue? Yeah, he's Dominican.

Dominican. And it's a she. I didn't know that. Bro, but like, that's nothing. Who the hell? Who started happy birthday? Who made a tune to celebrate one's revolution around the sun who just instead of saying congrats on year 28 they were just like happy birthday to you

and then they just got better over the years i think that's a social thing happy birthday suck no happy getting happy okay i already know you struggle with it, but we're just going to bring it up. Getting happy birthday sung to you might be top three awkward situations that any human will ever encounter, especially if it's at a party. There's literally nothing to do with your hands. You're literally sitting there like this. My go-to? Okay, what's your go-to? When you start to feel the angst setting in, you're like,

God, there's 40 eyeballs on me. The people are singing. They're so off-key. What do do oh i'm a i'm a i'm a grin i'm a grin head down with a lot of hands so my so my hands are very calculated though i think it was like eighth grade year i started pretending as an orchestra i was like oh you're the worst like if i can make them laugh this will go quicker no like happy birthday that doesn't even make me laugh because that makes people realize that you're awkward oh yeah but it's bad though no getting happy birthday sung to you is awkward but even worse than that i have a hard time telling people happy birthday

that's because your lack of love no that's because i'm anxious and i don't know how to do it that's That's why I have a script. You have a script? I have a script for when I tell people happy birthday. You are lying. It's in my notes. Like, if it's somebody's birthday, I'll call them and I just read off my script. Do you want to hear it? There's evidence.

It's written down. It's not even a mental script. No. Look, it's called the birthday call script. You have a script in your notes. Yeah, it's the birthday call script no look it's called it's called the birthday call script script in your notes yeah it's the birthday call script do you want to hear it oh my god act like you're calling okay it's my birthday okay it's cam's birthday i gotta call him oh it's my birthday oh look it's my best friend call me hey what's up buddy so the first line is, hey, blank, happy birthday. So in this case, it would be, hey, Camoan, happy birthday.

Oh, thanks, man. Appreciate it, bro. Appreciate you. Line number two. Got any plans today? No, you don't. No, you don't. What am I supposed to say?

Because in my heart of hearts, I'll be like, you're another year closer to death. Okay, let's go. It's so awkward to me. It's so personal. Got any plans today? Just hanging out with the fam, man. I think we're going to have dinner at like 6. You can pull up if you want to.

Okay. Line number three is follow up on what they say. It's like a job interview. There's no way you struggled that bad i'm telling you bro but follow up with what they say it's an italic that it's like a script it's like a real script it's like speak a one that's oh my god okay please god okay so what was your answer god humor me uh you got any plans today yeah bro just hanging out with the fam. I think we're going to eat dinner later. You can pull up if you want to. Oh, wow.

Yeah, I'll try to or something like that. But my next line, I'll try to cover it up because my next line is, have you done anything exciting so far? And in parentheses, breakfast in bed? Question mark. Breakfast? What am I, a queen? Breakfast in bed?

I've never had a birthday party in my entire life. Ask it, go. Have you done anything exciting so far, like breakfast in bed? Well, it's 12, bro. I don't eat in my bed, but I just woke up. Are you all right? Do I need to come safe? Are you panting?

Follow up on what they say. You do not have another follow up. That should be instinctual. You have to tell yourself to follow up on what they say. Step one, conversate. Step two, continue conversation. But I have a hard time conversating, so I'll just go through my bullet points. I'll ignore what you say, so I have to remind myself you've got to follow up.

How long have you had this? Oh, since I've been able to call so I've been victim to your birthday script it's not even natural normally I'll just text you or something but when you've called me on my birthday when I was in Arkansas because you called me you were going off of a note space that's why I don't facetime you when I say happy birthday. But I'm not done. I have more of my script. You're done. I have one more. Okay, so you tell me something, right?

Like what you're doing exciting for the day. What'd you say you were doing exciting? Nothing. Nothing. Hanging out and having dinner with the family. And then I have, when the conversation dies, say, okay, well, I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday and hope your day goes well. Goodbye.

You, you are an artifact in itself. You need to be hanging on a wall. Stop it. In the Smithsonian. That was a real notes page. I swear to you. I don't know how to do that. Because genuinely, I think birthdays are a little depressing and sad.

So people are excited about them. Like, I don't share this interest with you, but I know you're all happy. Breakfast in bed. Like, what do you do for birthdays as an adult? Breakfast in bed. That's what couples do. You're in a couple. Oh, my God.

You disappoint me so many times is that really that bad dog you have a script for a natural conversation just say happy birthday hope your day is going good hope this year brings you nothing but happiness health and fond memories love you talk to you later but that's a that's a lie so you don't want me to be healthy happy and make good memories i do but what is me saying you want me to have breakfast in bed do you have any plans yet then do don't want me to be healthy, happy, and make good memories? I do, but what is me saying that to you? You want me to have breakfast in bed and do you have any plans yet? Oh my god, you want us to be pawns in your game. That might be an ego thing.

How? You want me to follow your script. You are the chess master. You don't want natural conversation. You want it to be assembly. No, I think it's... Happy birthday, Earl. Got any plans today? Oh, that sounds cool, man.

Done anything exciting yet? You got breakfast in bed, Earl? You got anything cool? I just want to tell you happy birthday, man. I'll see you later. That is some sick shit. I think you're looking

at it the wrong way. I think you should look at it like I care so much I took time out of my day to write a playwright for you. A memoir for happy birthday. That's the nastiest thing I've ever seen.

That might be your top your worst thing ever. I don't think it's that bad. That's better than your Almond Joy addiction. That's better than you the bathing. That is

that is that is Peyton Harden. That embodies you. The worst part about this is I have to write a new script because people are going to know. You just exposed Oh my god. Back to theodies you. The worst part about this is I have to write a new script because people are gonna know now. Oh my god, back to the drawing board. The You Should Know Podcast.

This episode is brought to you by our friends at Rocket Money! Did you ever find any subscriptions that you just completely forgot about, you were double paying, or you didn't even realize it? Oh my god, you just brought back some traumatic memories. Lord knows I found about four or five subscriptions. Literally did not even know I still had. Matter of fact, how much are you paying in subscriptions every month? I guarantee it's probably more than you think. Over 74% of people have subscriptions that they completely forgot about.

I definitely have some subscriptions I forgot about, whether it's a gym membership, whether it's a streaming service. I got on Rocket Money. They had all my subscriptions laid out, and I was like, I've been paying for that since 2023. Thankfully, Rocket Money made it very easy for me. Click of a button, cancel it, never thought about it again, and I'm saving so much money thanks to Rocket Money.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things that you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash ysk that's rocketmoney.com slash ysk for the people in the back let me tell you again that's rocketmoney.com slash ysk now on to the rest of the episode

oh i'm i've just always been awkward with like normal shit like that do you remember like in uh like in elementary school right or middle school and high school did your teachers what don't feel bad for me i'm fixing it why any way i can help like oh no do we need to mock call for a day? Oh, God, no. I did that at Orange Theory. So whenever I worked at Orange Theory, we had to mock call. I'm snotty now. And they had a script for me, and they're like, pay and add your own persona.

And I'd be like, yeah, these prices are way too expensive. I'd be like, you should not get this membership. And we do not care about you. I swear to God, I did the same thing. Like, my morals, I worked at Urban Air. People would come in, spend $100 to jump around for an hour. not care about you i swear to god i did the same thing like my morals i worked at urban air people would come in spend a hundred dollars to jump around for an hour and i was like hey just buy this pass it'll knock off forty dollars and you get a free hot dog my manager tapped me one day said hey let's go in the back real quick he said i see what you're doing we want their money yeah

i said hey i'm making seven an hour regardless i'm saving these people to hell with you yeah i remember two weeks later i remember they would show me like i made like five percent commission or something not even that probably i never sold anything because i didn't try to because i was bad at phone calls because they're like you have to make a hundred calls a day and i'm like i'm not doing that hell i can't do that i give you 20 at the end of the day at the like towards the end of my career there they just gave me a microphone and a big-ass Bluetooth speaker, and they had me put the speaker outside the store and make people laugh walking by,

because they were like, Payne's not going to sell a f***ing thing, but he's funny. Oh, I was about to say something that could have been very... What? A be careful moment. What? I was going to say they made you the circus monkey with the tambourine, but I didn't mean it like that. That's why I didn't say it. You forced me to say it. That's a be careful on you, not me. But I remember I saw like, we had a FaceTime with corporate, or or like a Zoom call with corporate because we were closed down because of COVID.

And on the big whiteboard behind them, it had their monthly profit. And it was like $20 million, $10 million, $10 million. I'm like, I'm making 5% commission off a $70 membership. This place can burn. Like, I'm not working here. I was like, hell no. But I've always been awkward with regular shit always especially in school because that birthday thing just reminded me do you remember roll call

in school whenever the teacher would be like cameron you're here jessica say here here i would have the biggest panic attacks every class period because I hated that, like, waiting for my name to be called and, like, having to raise my hand. And the eyes. Bro, everybody saw me there. You knew I was here. I shook your hand on the way in the door. Yeah, I don't need to say it again.

I would literally go like this. I'd go, like, my name would be towards the middle, towards the end. I got you. Here we go. Andrew. Here. Miranda. Here.

Jose. Here. Peyton. uh here i'm here every time my i would wipe my hands and i would have to cough like 10 times because i would always be nervous of my voice dude and i would try to do like this just the hand hand waving, but they were like, say it. Peyton? Is Peyton in the class today? Say it. Speak if you're here. Yep. Yep.

It was the worst thing ever. I hated that. I think, okay, this might be, not to open a can of worms, this might be something deeper. It's called anxiety. But it might be something deeper. Did you like learn to talk late? Like were you like three when you first said mama or something? Like where is this stimming from?

You're a full ass baby. You're hitting the house. You're running around the house like this. They're like come here and say it. You're just like You're just running. You're playing catch with Preston and shit. He's like pay it and throw it. You're just like, what?

You couldn't speak? No, I was a smart kid. And then your fourth birthday, you were just like, eh, I don't. Like, eh, I'll. I was a smart kid. This has to be something deep. No, I was a smart kid. I was like Daxon.

I was talking really quickly. Like, I was a smart kid. God, I hope Daxon doesn't have a birthday script. No, it was just talking in front of people. And then I hated state exams because we could i knew i couldn't talk for the whole day they would take our phones and you couldn't say a word and you're stuck in that classroom for the whole day and those were the days i always had sneezing attacks or coughing attacks and so i would literally be like

for eight hours and then i would so i would just get up and I would like sharpen my pencil or something and I would cough over the noise of me sharpening my pencil. Yeah, exactly. Two things. One. What happened? There was always one kid that shit their pants,

was there not? In the state exams, there was always one kid that'd just be like, everyone'd be like, it's like a quick comedic relief. The kid's like, yeah. Second thing.

What happened? Did you ever popcorn read? Bro. Popcorn reading. I always popcorn would have thrown that bitch to you every time. I'm like, yeah. And the horse got back in the stable. And Lord Hesington went back in the house.

Peyton! You're like, no, no! No! Dude, any time they called me to popcorn read, I would try to get through it as fast as possible.

I'd be like, in 1982, we went to the British Parliament and the Boston Tea Party and I would go through it like that. Samantha's in the back, what the f*** do you say? I can't even keep along.

And honestly, F the school system because they always made me popcorn read or read the pages with the N-word on it. It's always that any time there with the N-word on it. It's always that any time there's an N-word. I would kill a mockingbird.

I would kill. I can recite that in my brain for how many times I have to read that one out loud. Yo, that is. Okay, but what's worse though? It's really a lose-lose for the teacher. Has the teacher ever said it? You pick on little Adam to read it? He goes, yeah, yeah, and get back.

Or do you throw it to someone that ever said it? You pick on little Adam to read it? He goes, yeah, yeah, and get back. Or, or do you throw it to someone that can say it? It's a lose-lose for the education system. First off, the book. Just get a different book. This isn't historical text. Skip the sentence. We don't need to read it. Just skip it.

Go to page 83. Just get rid of 82. Or pick a book that doesn't say the N-word. But we had a teacher. Did a teacher ever say it? Yes. Like a white teacher. No. Oh teacher. Did a teacher ever say it? Yes. Like a white teacher.

No. Oh, how did a white teacher say it? And he was a... A man, too? His part-time job was an Elvis impersonator on weekends. I swear to God. Where did you go to school? Kelly Lane. We were the Knights.

Fighting Knights. You were fighting right, not Knights. You said, have Mr. Volkanovsky say the end it's oh no oh my god he was like a hippie and like he was super into elvis he enjoyed oh my god he was like you he was like he was if he wanted to be elvis like i swear to god his on weekends he would get blasted drunk and go to karaoke bars dressed as Elvis. And there's pictures of it on Facebook and shit. It was in our kick group messengers and shit. I remember.

He was cool as hell, though. Hey, he was probably reading it like this. However the sentence goes, and I said, get back. He's looking around. He's like holding that power. He's like, get back, you He's like holding that power He's like Get back you Dude If all y'all were like this

I would be like Oh god damn And And he When he said He's like If you don't want me to read it Get out

He needs to be fired No he did get fired But I think it was a drug thing I think he brought like Coke to school or something He thought One time he thought a Sunday Or he thought Monday was Sunday So he pulled up in his elvis yeah like a fifth of whiskey he's

like oh all your students are there what the fuck no yeah him and the dare teacher never got along this dare teacher shit that's officer officer got hosed let me tell you that oh i can't say his name didn't he get fired too yeah drugs we had a big drug bro kelly lane needs a documentary you had a drug problem in elementary middle school that was middle school bro in middle school we were just giving out fades and fades yeah like fights and we had fight week at our high school fight week it was one week you just were the contracts you just fight people it was on youtube the video got taken down but it was a video. And so basically you just record.

Anytime a camera was on you, the two people right there, you just got to go. And so we were in the cafeteria, and these two dudes, big dudes, and they were throwing. And then one of the APs, assistant principals, came by. He was this bald dude. He was swollen. You could tell he hated people, especially certain ones. He was like, I'm fucking tired of y'all. Y'all are taking over my city.

And so he came over. Kenny Lane's going to stand proud. And so he came over running, and he just cold cocked one of the dudes. Bam. And he started going, boom, boom. And so now a principal against a student. But then the student was big, and he put the assistant principal on his back, and they were fighting, so they were scrapping.

And it was all over YouTube. It was lit. Video got taken down. He got fired. That was the end of fight week because it got too much. Fight week was lit. Bro, you don't come from Earth. I'm convinced.

I just had a fun childhood. This Keep Austin Weird shit is real because fun childhood. You had fifth graders doing lines you had assistant principals screaming the n-word and elbow and students like my name my neighbor was collecting toenails stabbed his mom toenails there was a bomb threat on your on your cul-de-sac you had an elvis impersonator drunk whiskey teacher you had another teacher that did solicited photos what would she do she was a stripper stripper and then you had the other guy uh uh the damn the dare, the dare teacher.

The dare teacher. And then another drug problem. And he's telling you not to do drugs. And then my neighbor got swatted. My other neighbor made a bomb. It was a great time. Laced candy for Halloween. It was a great, great childhood.

It really made me to the man I am today. I think so. I think so. Bro, okay. I've been having like an existential crisis recently. That's a good word. Thank you. Big word for Elmo.

And I had this existential crisis as a kid too. I was just sitting. I like it. And so I was looking in the mirror, right? And I don't know. It's because I'm so alone and I'm losing it up here. I don't know how much time I have left. We got your back.

So I was looking in the mirror and I wet my face because do you ever think you'll melt and never get a new face okay not once have i ever maybe not never that shouldn't nope water doesn't melt just runs off the face water can melt things water can melt things if it's boiling hot all right i didn't tell you the temperature oh you're putting you're putting scalding boiling you're boiling a pot of water and flushing your face with it your water your water doesn't get as hot as mine. What the hell does that mean? It's the class thing. I don't know.

Oh, that's a tax bracket thing. Just kidding. You have that third floor heat. Okay. Okay. No, and so I'm looking in the mirror. I'm crying, so I wipe my face so I can mask the tears, right? Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and like, my name isn't right.

Like, I shouldn't have been named this name. Bro, I hate saying my own name. I get that. I get that. But like, do you ever feel like your name doesn't match you? No. I think I'm a Cameron through and through, but when I say it out loud, it cringes me. Okay, okay.

I couldn't imagine being a Thomas. But I don't think I look like a Peyton. What do you think you look like? Like a river or something. Like, I've really been, like, floating the name around to get changed as River. CJ goes, what? River? Yeah, like, you couldn't see me as a River?

I could see you as a lot of things. River's not one of them. What? I could see you as, like, Wolfgang. You'd have, like, an old name, like a sick ass name. That's a cool name. Wolfgang, maybe like Titus. I could see as a lot of weird.

Am I a dog, bro? No, I'm just saying. River's too, because you still have your masculine side. You'd be like. I don't think that was in question. Armani? No, like Armitas. Like Armiton.

Like a strange name would fit you better than Peyton. Okay, so you agree Peyton doesn't fit me. Peyton's your name. But when you look at me, do I look like a Peyton? If you were to guess my name... You look like a killer half the time. You look like you just ended a soul. But they're after the killer right now.

Peyton's decent, fits you, is suited at birth. But now that you've grown into this grisly man that masks his tears with boiling hot water. Yeah. It's not a river. It's not giving river. It's giving more like timber. Something wood. Something out there.

River's soft. River's soft. River is like sexy though. Your name should be like Red Oak. Imagine if that was your first name. See, no, I'm talking about like a regular name. Like in Rivers, regular. I think I've been floating.

As a kid, it was Blake. Floating down the river. As a kid, it was Blake. Like I could see myself as Blake. Like I'm a cool-ass Blake. Like I'd be a sick Blake. Blake? Like look at me right now. f***ing Blake Blake? Like look at me right now What's up Blake?

You know what I mean? I'm not Blake Blake? Blake or River? Blake or River? Why'd you turn into a baby? Blake or River? You don't see me as a Blake or a Thomas?

Are you f***ing kidding? Blake or Thomas? Yeah When I'm with my cousins I think Leon Now we're Now it's making sense Let me be a Curtis Are you kidding? Blake or Thomas? Yeah. When I'm with my cousins, I think Leon. Now it's making sense. Let me go Curtis.

Randall. Randall. You let me see. Okay. Randall fits more than Blake. Randall? Randall. Randall?

You dance, you're only like a Blake. Randall, I like bag groceries. I'm not a Randall. Blake looks like, Blake sounds like you have a trampoline in your backyard and you enjoy a ripstick. That's what a Blake is. I did like those things. Okay, well if you can,

you like tramp, were you ever scared of trampolines? I wasn't allowed to have one. I never owned one either. Yeah. Couldn't afford it.

Different bracket. Different reason. But did you ever play on them? No. One of your friends in Kelly Lane. I did,

but then they started, One of your drugged up friends in Kelly Lane had to have a trampoline. They did, but I didn't like roughhousing. You never- Okay, the amount of WWE that you've digested as a youth. Yeah.

Do you mean to tell me you never had an Elimination Chamber match? Those were the greatest shits ever. And then he fell on his neck. We had an Elim elimination chamber one day. And this kid, like, I went to my friend's house, but he invited other friends. I didn't know. We're all wrestling and shit. He got double bounced, fell off the trampoline wing.

And we were all like, oh, shit. And I just left. Didn't even check on him. Just walked right out. No, see, I didn't like roughhousing. And the white kids scared me. Because we were with the shit. Y'all were like, pain!

Like, fucking nasty and gnarly. We're like, I was like, yo. And y'all were like, I didn't like going in the pool with y'all either. Because y'all would like drown each other. And y'all would be like, yeah, look at him fucking drown. And I'd be like, what the fuck is happening? I'd be like, yo. And then I was like, that's so is so true yeah and y'all like

and y'all were cool with it bro y'all spit on each other and shot you'd be like james i'm like what the y'all doing white kids are scary dog yalla yalla bro that checks out you're like let's go break into the abandoned house dog and I'll be like what the everything keep going everything you said I did as a youth am I British why am I saying as a youth

everything you said I've done as a kid you'll be like let's go look in my parents pantries dog and let's go into their sex drawer like my my mom has a strap on let's put it on what is this thing i'd be like we shouldn't go in the bedroom oh my god airsoft yeah and y'all run around the air does this hurt bro this guy named justin of course he was having a scar on him because he was like we went to his game room and he was like seven airsoft gun close range fight duel And I said, what?

He goes, put on the goggles, Peyton And I said, alright And then he goes Justin, I don't like this, Justin And then he goes, take off your shirt And I said, what the f*** is going on in here? Justin, what are we doing? And he goes

He said, now get down And then he goes, close your eyes And I was like, alright Justin, I don't Justin He goes It shoots me in my shit and I'm bleeding And he goes, yeah, dude I was like all right i don't just then he goes it shoots me in my shit and i'm bleeding and he goes yeah dude i was like these white people dog you don't know how crazy we were for real one time i took the co2 loaded pistols so not the spring actually the springs did like 300

feet a second co2 did like 600 a second literally in my friend's backyard because i was i was afraid to get shot in the upper body, right? So I said, it was like one of those coming to age moments. I had to earn the respect of the tribe. Everyone else was just shooting from fence range.

I saw them bruising and bleeding. I said, I got to do something crazy enough so I don't get shot in the stomach but they still accept me.

I said, give me that pistol. They gave me that and I went, shot my own foot. I'm telling y'all. My foot started bleeding. I've got a different kind of fun, bro.

But then the worst part is you always have to act like it didn't hurt as bad as it really did. So I was like. I was like, oh, that wasn't even that bad. I stubbed my toe hard in that. I'm going to go pee real quick. I went in the bathroom. I was biting that towel. I was like my toe hard in that. I'm going to go pee real quick. I went in the bathroom. I was biting that towel. I was like, ah, ah.

My knuckle was blue. Bro, I'm telling you, hanging out with y'all as kids. How many times did me, Sanjan, Steve, and Ryan, we played pool basketball. It went from pool basketball to UFC fight night immediately. It's like, bro, I don't want to feel like I'm drowning. That's not fun for anybody. And then I'd be like, let's go sneak into a liquor cabinet. And then they would go and pass around one beer and sip it.

They would sip it and be like, I'm so f***ed up, bro. Dude, f*** it up, man. Go put on Jeff Hardy's theme intro music and let's just get rad. Oh, my God. I was jumping off the couch just landing on other buddies. And they're like, let's f***'s pee and see who can go further. And they'll be peeing next to each other. Come on.

Sorry, CJ. This is weird. Let's totally cross streams and see who can step back. Y'all had a different kind of fun. Me and my cousins are like, y'all want to hoop or something, bro? Let's get on the game. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode of You Should Know is brought to you by Booking.com.

Booking. Yeah. It's finally time for summer travel and we cannot be more excited. Booking.com offers so many possibilities across the U.S. for all the travelers you want to be this summer. As you know, we're on tour right now. We're going all over the United States. All over.

I'm looking forward to leaning into that side of Vegas. Oh, my God. Get into that little slick city life. Thank God for Booking.com. They make everything so simple. As you know, we're going on tour. We're going all over the country. All over the country. I cannot wait to lean into my little city slicker side going to Vegas.

Woo! Walking down the strip, seeing all the Chewbacca's and street attractions. Oh my God. A little nice Bellagio Fountains. I'm here for it all. I love the fountains. My favorite part of Vegas is the fountains. Booking.com's wide selection of places to stay across the U.S. makes booking whoever you want to be this summer so easy. From spacious villas for your bachelor or bachelorette party to bed and

breakfasts for your summer road trip. There are so many great choices on booking.com. What are you waiting for? This summer you can book whoever you want to be on booking.com what are you waiting for this summer you can book whoever you want to be on booking.com booking dot yeah book today on booking.com you should know podcast oh my god we got our basketball stolen at the park one time yeah by older yeah yeah i guess so by an older group of friends that were you know hoopers real hoopers and we were playing natural born hoopers it was my friend's basketball but he was like he was way too angst

uh way too anxious to get it like back and to even ask for it he was like that's my ball like what do we do so it's time to leave and i literally walk up to this woman that was pushing her kid on a swing i walk up to and i was like ma'am this a swing. I walk up to her and I was like, ma'am, this is a real story. I go, ma'am, they stole our basketball. Can you help us get it back? She was like, yeah, let's go. And she walks up and she goes, hey, these little boys just said y'all stole their ball. That's not cool. Give it back to them. The kid looks at the ball. It has my friend's initials on it. It says AC. He goes, my name's Adam Cornwell. This is my basketball. She goes, I'm sorry, huns. That's theirs. I said, I was like, no, no, no. His name's not Cornwell. This is my basketball. She goes, I'm sorry, Huns. That's theirs. I said, no, no, no.

His name's not Adam. No, ma'am. Please don't leave. And then she leaves. The dude looks at us and goes, so y'all snitches, huh? And I was like, dude, I just want my ball back. My friend, we need to go home. And the streetlights are coming on. They go, come get it then.

My dumb ass. I'm like, wow, that was pretty easy. Like, I'm going to go get the ball. You're like, OK. I walk up, moves the ball, pushes me. and I said, I got to get out of here. I said, you can get your ball if you want it. I am pissing down my leg right now. Went home, never got the basketball back.

Dude. They just stole it straight from us. Like, literally, we're shooting. They walk up, and they go, hey, appreciate it. But those are like monumental moments. Those are. I got jumped one time because I stole somebody's weed, and I didn't know what weed was at our local park.

Because, so, there was like this rock, a legendary rock, and you're off. It's a legendary rock. It was a cool rock. Simba's pride? Is that like the rock? No, there's like a half court and there's one rock where people just sit there like whenever they're waiting for the games. So everybody left, right? And under the rock, I saw this little baggie and it had all this green stuff in it.

And I was like, oh, what is this? Oh, gross, nasty. So I put it in my pocket. I like to collect things i was a collector and then uh the dude was still in his car who it belonged to and he goes hey man and he was like uh he's like that's my shit whatever and there was like an argument that ensued and i was like it's mine i wanted to collect it because i was like a little weird they put hands and feet on me. They got it back. How many? Two. It was a bad time.

How old? I was probably like 12. They were probably like 16. Something like that. It was a good time, though. Really life lesson. Those are money. You ever got an Air Jordan 1 to your right eye? Never have I.

Boy, it will change you. Hurts like hell. Your mom went batshit crazy when you got home. I didn't tell her. You hit it? Yeah. I said it was weird. I walked straight to my mom they beat the shit out of me let's go get him i tried to impress these girls one time and invite him to my baptism i swear to god you thought they would get sexy to the to the blood of christ i swear to god i said

we were hanging out uh the friend's house was like a street over. We were hanging out, dressing up. It was like a two-man. It was like an early two-man. Another monumental part of life. So we're hanging out and stuff, just chilling, vibing. And it was a Saturday. And it was time to go.

And I said, man, I really don't want to leave. All I'm going to do is go home and just play the game. I was like, I want to hang out more. But my mom told me to be home this time. Didn't know what line to hit at the time. Had no game. Didn't put up any reps. I go, hey, I had fun tonight, y'all. It was really fun. Y'all want to come watch more, but my mom told me to be home this time. Didn't know what line to hit at the time. Had no game. Didn't put up any reps. I go, hey, I had fun tonight, y'all. It was really fun.

Y'all want to come watch me get baptized tomorrow? They literally were like, what the fuck? They said, what? I was like, yeah, it's just like totally up the street. I'm like, I'm committed. And then they were just like, sure, that's awesome. That's great. And I was like, all right, awesome.

Go up on the baptismal, look and nowhere to be found. Guess that wasn't the hottest of things, but still a great day. That is nice. Top tier day of my life. Oh my God. I was in, okay, we'll move on after this about kid shit. Did you ever, like, you had music class in elementary school, right? God, it was the best.

Knowledge is power. The more that you know. Yeah, I didn't have funding in Arkansas. Yeah, yeah so arkansas they were like let's go to prison and so we um we had to we had to do one play for the school year as a music class y'all have to do that so i remember i was this was in my high school musical era it was so dope and i was like normally like there's like the singing kids and everybody's like standing on the back being harmony or whatever you know what i mean on the stools or whatever yeah but i was like i have to be outside of that i want to be more and so i wanted a solo part in the musical and i was athletic and i was big and

ever and i had disney knees right did you just say disney knees disney knees you don't know what a disney what is a disney knee go back just google disney knees every like from disney kid from our era that was an actor like megan knees it just had great knees and they could do like wild performative things and i had disney knees and there's this part of the musical and i'm pretty sure we're talking about like the Statue of Liberty or something. Like something like that was the play was over in the musical. But there was like a big rock part of the music or of the musical. And it was like the apex of the show, the climax.

And I had a big crush on this girl. And I was like, I want her to know how powerful I am, how talented I am. And so I went up like a week before the show and I went up to our music teacher and I was like can I have my own part I have this idea and she goes what and I was like during the big like bridge of the song like the big hook the climax of this song I want to jump over somebody I swear to god bro this is like a core memory for me and there was this other kid, and he was athletic too. And I was like, if he, because I remember in high school musical, Boys Are Back, Corbin Blue slid on his knees across the stage.

Yeah, and broke. Yes. And so I was like, he can slide on his knees, and I'll jump over it and land on beat. And that's what happened in the musical. And I jumped over him, and I just wanted to let that be known. That's the story.

Did you land it? Yeah. Did the girl get fluttered? She didn't go. I actually showed up late to the wrong one. It was two weeks, right? It was a two-week musical. We performed it one week,

and then there was another show the second week. The first week, we got the times wrong. And I cried on the walk back with my mom. And I was so mad at her because she was the biggest cock block for that. I was like, are you kidding me? And I missed it. And I showed up late. And I was crying on stage because I showed up after my knee sliding part.

So they had to perform it without me. And then the second week, I got it right. Oh, God. That just brought back a lot of memories. Let's do some math or something. What grade was this? I don't know, bro. The You Should Know Podcast.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. This year has already gone so quickly. It has. What's something that you're proud of that you've done in 2024 so far? I've really been taking care of myself, taking care of my mental, taking care of my spirit and my soul. And that's made me really tackle 2024.

It really has. You've been a beautiful person too, inside and out. When life moves so fast, it is important to take a moment and celebrate all the wins you've accomplished and make adjustments for the rest of the year. Therapy can help you do just that. Therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries

and empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma in their life. That's a very big misconception. I think therapy is just a healthy exercise for your brain. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient,

flexible, and suited to your very schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time. No additional charge. Especially being on tour, we're very busy. We're always outside of the house. We're moving. We're hustling and bustling.

We're on a plane, on a hotel, on stage, or we're back here recording. But with BetterHelp, it is very, very convenient to still get that brain exercise, go to therapy, work out your problems, work out your successes. Therapy is a very beautiful thing, and BetterHelp makes it very easy. So take a moment, visit BetterHelp.com slash YSK today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

All right, P. Prepare the whiteboard. It's time for some math problems. Why do you always want to do math? It's like a power thing. It is. It's always a power thing. It's just funny.

All right. I've been actually doing timetables. You've not been doing timetables. I have not been doing timetables. Get the hell out of here. You ready? No. These are going been through timetables. Get the hell out of here. You ready? No. These are gonna test you. Okay.

This might be like math slash riddle. Okay. Here we go. I add five to nine and get two. The answer is correct, but how? Are you the Joker? I add five to nine and get two and then Gotham's gonna go black tonight.

Who are you? What is this? Occam is in your hands. Okay. Whiteboard is out. I add five. That is the sickest five I've ever seen. That's like a G, like a lowercase G.

I add five to nine, so nine plus five, and I get two. Two. The answer is correct, but how? I get 2. 2. The answer is correct. But how? I add 5 to 9, and I get 2? Wait, give me a hint. Give me help. Think outside the box.

That's your hint. Think outside the box. I don't even know if we're in a box. We're like in a prism at this point. Like, what is this? I add 5 to 9. I get 2. The answer is correct, but how? 5 plus 9 is regularly 14 what was that word regularly five plus nine is regularly 14 regularly yes

so now i think think maybe in different constructs and time different rules oh 10 11 12 1 2 it's 2 p.m we're talking about a clock. I'm on a clock. I'm on the clock. Cam's got a big... And I'm gonna go kiss the rock. Moana, Moana. Make way, make way. One down.

Free to go. So I'm one for one. Here we go. Here we go. Hey, kiss my ass comments. There we go. A 300-foot Here we go. One for one. Hey, kiss my ass comments. There we go. A 300-foot train is traveling 300 feet per minute, and it must travel through a 300-foot-long tunnel.

How long will it take the train to travel through the tunnel? That was a lot of Ts. Okay, so it's a 300-foot train. 300-foot train. 300-foot train. 300-foot train. Yes. Yes.

I'm sorry. Next. Oh, I didn't know. Traveling 300 miles an hour, 300 feetfoot train. 300-foot train. Yes. Yes. I'm sorry. Next. Oh, I didn't know. Traveling 300 miles an hour, 300 feet per second. 300 feet per minute, damn it. 300 feet per minute. Say it cleaner. So a 300-foot train traveling 300 feet a minute.

Okay. Traveling through a 300-foot tunnel. 300-foot tunnel. Science. How long does it take for the train to travel through? Length times width times height. That is not. That is not at all. Length times width equals height. No. Speed is

Speed is full times acceleration. No. So what's the question? Just think, dirtbag. How many times do you need it? 300 foot train traveling 300 feet a minute, traveling through a 300 foot tunnel. How long does it take the train to travel through the tunnel? An this is alliteration did you just say an hour an hour a minute no three minutes no 300 minutes no five hours no that's how long 300 minutes is

yes how'd you do that so fast 300 divided by 65 five times six is 30 add the extra zero add the zero to the correct ones wait so how long does it take to get to that tunnel that's what i'm asking you okay say you're the train conductor so the three it's a long plane train it's a long train windows and all how many passengers do they serve snacks aboard how many passengers how many passengers It doesn't matter. I'm sure weight is involved. Weight is not involved. 300-foot train traveling 300 feet a minute going through a 300-foot tunnel.

How long does it take the train to travel through the tunnel? I think this part is irrelevant. That's not relevant at all. You were given three pieces of information and you go, get out of here. That part's irrelevant. How long it is? That is the most important part. Oh, then never mind.

Let's keep that there. 300-foot train going 300 feet a minute. Oh! So it's 300 feet, right? Right. And every minute it's going to go another 300 feet. Correct. And the whole thing is 300 feet.

Correct. Two minutes. Hey! Let's go! I've never got this feeling you just you just turned into like a damn comic book you know because in math whenever they would hand you those those uh multiplication papers and they gave you a minute to do it i would cry in the bathroom because everybody would go so fast i never completed it are you shitting me was it my strong suit two for two two for two got a couple couple holy here we go there's a

patch of lily pads on a lake wait there's a patch of lily pads on a lake every day the patch doubles in size okay stop drawing flowers it's a lily pad flower times two equals lake size one day times two a day what is it he did so the lily just fart what was it something just fell out of your nose you usually say he did and some black thing fell out of your nose a literal crumb you saw that shit too what was that i think i'm bleeding here you might be so the lily pad grows a patch of lily pads on a lake every day the patch doubles in size if it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake how big's the lake how long oh let's say about an ocean how long what how long would it take the patch to cover half the lake? How big is the lake?

You tell me. Oh, so 48 divided by 2. Okay. 48 divided by 2. That's 2. You bring that. 4 minus 0. Bring that down.

That's 8. 24. 3 for 3. Oh, I got the answer? Yeah. Oh, okay. No, you didn't get the answer i wasn't done i was working pool you're done i didn't even that was a bullshit answer you said let me divide it by two

i was saying i wasn't done you weren't even confident in yourself i was i wasn't done oh then go to the next one what are you gonna do a quadratic formula on 24 that's why he got fired as a teacher didn't empower students didn't empower if they gave okay shut up so look how big's your lily pad how big's my two times the size of yours on a bad day here we go gummy worm where is it can't find it's a big his pants here we go cj good luck with that one here we go so um so half the lake is 24 two times a day 12 he'll take 12 lily. That's not even what you're trying to find. How many?

That's the smallest lake ever. 12 lily pads. What was the question? How many days does it take for half of the lake to be covered? 12 days. No. A little longer, huh? What's that closer in the beginning?

Erase your math. Keep the lily pad. Keep the day over two. Erase the math. Try again. CJ, do you know this one? What's that closer in the beginning? Erase your math. Keep the lily pad. Keep the day over two. Erase the math. Try again. CJ, do you know this one? Yeah.

Oh. Y'all motherfuckers in Algebra 3, huh? Yeah. Make fun of him. All right. Oh, he knows it? Yeah, he said the answer. Oh, okay.

So a lily pad. Lily pad. How big is a lily pad? That's up to you. There's a patch of lily pads on a lake. Every day the patch doubles in size. Okay. One at a time.'s a nasty one day times two size what every day is gonna go to this how my brain works bro figure it out yourself do your own problems if it takes 48 days 48 25 no that's my asses oh 24 48 days 48 days for the that 25? No, that's my asses. Oh. 24, 48 days. 48 days.

For the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half the lake? So, 48 is 24. 24 is half the days. So that would be half the time. One day, two sides. so two times 48 two times 24 that

two oh shit two fours two four six eight ten twelve fourteen sixteen eighteen twenty twenty two twenty four 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24. How many was that? 12? You tell me. What's 2 divided by 24? 12. 12.

12 days. 12 days? Yeah. Still wrong. You're still wrong. You're still grossly wrong. I'm close now? No, you're grossly wrong.

A lot higher? Start the math again and go slow. Bitch, I am. Stop drawing flowers and formulas and just think. Okay. There's lily pads on a lake. Every day. You don't see anything.

Your eyes are closed. Lily pads on a lake. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. Every day. Doubles. Yes.

Takes 48 days to cover the entire lake. Yes. How many lily cover the entire lake. Yes. How many lily pads do we start with? How does it matter? One lily pad. There is a patch of lily pads. I don't know how many comes in a patch. Is that like a dozen?

A baker's dozen? What is a patch? Is it 44? One more time. Is your last name? Can we stop saying patch? It's confusing. Say a lily pad.

There's a patch of lily pads on the lake. Every day. How many frogs can go on a lily pad? How many youth amphibians can play frog? Okay, all right, all right, bro. Calm down. There's a patch. I'm calm.

I'm not. There's a patch of lily pads. You're scratching your scalp and your eyes are so closed. There's a patch. Matter of fact, close your eyes. Okay. Here we go. As calm and collective as I can be.

My mic stings. There's a patch. That's your own fault. There's a patch of lily pads on a lake. Yeah. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of it?

24 days. Still wrong. You've said it three times now. But if it takes 48 days to do the full thing, half of that would be 24. But it doubles in size every day. Oh, so 12. No.

Six. No. Your only answers have been 24 and 12. You've got it wrong every time. Stop guessing the same number. Insanity. Same thing. Different things make the same number. Insanity. Same thing. Different things make the same result.

Same things. Wait. So if it... Okay, I feel like I'm missing something with that double in size. You are. Okay, so that's what I thought I was doing. So if it doubles in size, it's 2X. You said that a little...

2X divided... If it doubles in size, it's 2X. And after all that... And after all that... That's my formula. Okay. 2X. It doubles in size. It's 2X. And after all that. And after all that. That's my formula. Okay. 2X equals 48. Okay.

And if I remember from Miss Robinson's class, to cancel out, you divide it by two on both sides. And mother, that's 24. I don't know what kind of witchcraft y'all be doing. Y'all be doing. Okay. So let's go backwards. Let's work backwards. Walk me'all be doing? Okay. So let's go backwards. Let's work backwards. Walk me through it.

Let's work backwards. Backwards. Holy shit. I get dizzy. You go, I've never been one for a good backwards run. 48 days is a full lake. Yes, that's what I did. So it doubles in size every day.

What day? The lake's getting bigger. No, the patches of lilies. At 48 days, the lilies are covering the lake. All you see is green flowers. In 48 days, that's going to be big. Yes. So half as big is what day?

24. 24. I'm genuinely not getting it. I'm genuinely not getting it. Okay. So you go from one. To two. To two.

To three. What the f***? Double. Is double of two three or is that plus one? One to two to four to eight to sixteen. Okay. So one to two to four to eight to sixteen. Help me out after that.

No? What the f*** you just said? That's doubling. I'm trying to get you to think of doubling. 16. Help me out after that. No. What the fuck you just said? That's doubling. I'm trying to get you to think of doubling. You said every day doubles in size. If something is one, at what day was it.5? If it doubles. BC.

Before Christ. Because on day one, if it was one, what the fuck was it before that? One as in a full. As in a full thing one a whole if something is one one how in every it's doubling in days what day was 0.5 you said christ but day one there's not a day one before one is that we tell him do we end this misery and tell him yeah tell Tell him. Yeah, tell me because I don't get it. 47. 47 days. How big is the lake? Does it matter?

If 48, it's full. Every day, it's doubling. I generally don't get that. Wait. The lilies double. The lilies double. On the 48th day, the lake is completely covered. Let's draw this out.

This is the lake, right? This is the lily. That's the lily. Every day it doubles. That's so bad. That's so bad. Show them. That's so bad.

It's doubling. You see the lily's getting bigger? Work backwards. If at day 48 it's full. Yeah. Every day it's doubling. so take away one day but how why i know that if i don't know the size of the lake it doesn't matter the lake can be 10 inches wide or a damn ocean if every day it doubles doubling means what to take away a double is what half

something half it if day 48 i got 24 if day 48 is full. So I got 24. If day 48 is full. So half of that day. So you're only going back one. You go back one, and then it's half full. That's not doubling. That's plus one-ing it. First off, that's minus one shit bag, and it takes away half of the lilies.

Maybe I don't know what a lily is. I don't think I'm crazy. We're still talking about flowers, right? I don't think I'm crazy. We're still talking about flowers, right? I don't think I'm crazy for not getting that. God be thy name. If this is full, right? Every day it's doubling. Whatever day.

Let's take a glass of water. Glass of water. Okay, because I drink those. You're adding a drop. Yes. The drop doubles every day. If on the 10th day, the glass is full. Because it's just doubling. Doubling. So it goes from one drop to two. the 10th day, the glass is full, because it's just doubling.

Doubling. So it goes from one drop to two. On the 10th day, it's full. To eight. On the 10th day, it's full. To 16. Yes. To 32.

Imagine. So imagine that seventh day was 32 drops. Okay. The eighth day, 64 drops. The glass is full. So when was it halfway full? Somewhere in the middle. The seventh day!

32. What is half of 64? Take the time, Constantine. But I'm genuinely saying, wouldn't you need to know the size of the glass? If it's a gallon, it's going to take a little longer than if it was a cup. That is not what is important. Then why are you telling me that?

Take time out. Take time and lilies out. There's no frogs, there's no lilies. Okay, no time, no lilies. We're going to do a glass of water. Okay. Okay? Say the water is full at 10 drops.

Okay? Let's say it took 8 days to get 10 drops. What point... You said take time out. You just told me a time. I didn't say that. If everything is doubling, when the glass is full at 10 drops,

and it's doubling every day, what day was it halfway? How many drops did we start off with? Oh, my God. Genuinely, how many drops did we start off with? Just walk backwards. I can't. I can't walk forward. You failed.

You failed. There's one more. Oh, my. And if you struggle on this one, this next one's going to be a heyday. This one, because I'm lightheaded. This is going to be a heyday. I'm lightheaded. I need you to draw six columns.

You don't know what a column is? Draw six columns. Matter of fact, give me the board. Two. There you go. Three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, draw a line at the bottom.

At the very bottom, connecting them. Okay, draw that. Make that a little further. Okay, and that first one, draw one, bottom. At the very bottom, connecting them. Okay, make that a little further. Okay, and that first one, draw one six. At the top? Yeah, right above the line. One six. 16? Yeah, make it big.

One six. Next one, draw zero six. Zero six. Next one, draw six eight. Next one, draw eight eight. Next one, draw a, eight. Next one, draw eight, eight. Next one, draw a car. Draw a car. God.

That looks like a nose. That looks like a little nose. Like a whistle. That looks like a little nutsack. That's what it looks like. Nutsack with a pimple. That'd be hard. Hard, literally.

No joke intended. Last one, draw nine be hard. Hard. Literally. No joke intended. Last one. Draw nine, eight. Okay. What's the question? What parking spot is that car parked in? Huh? Wait.

16, 16, oh, six. Feel free to move the board feel free to work feel free to it's in the sixth spot what's the spot where's the parking spot number you got 16 6 68 88 blank and 98 you gotta be in the 70 somewhere 78 start working oh 78 yeah. Wrong. CJ, you know it? What the f***? Like, what do y'all do for a living? 16. Crack codes and play games. 16.06. That's minus 10.

Minus 10. That's plus 62. That's plus 20. There's no pattern here. And then Oh wait 8 What? 8?

Oh wait 8 It's on the second level No I don't know I'm never gonna get this What is it? Guess

One more Move the board around Move the board around. Move the board around. Flip that board. One more revolution. No, too much. Right there. No. nah

he went nah look at the board stop crying get it together read the board and tell me this why are you crying I don't understand because it doesn't 86 I don't understand.

Because it doesn't... 86. 87, 88, 87. Let's go! He's crying! Oh my God, you look like you were just born. You look like you just came out of a womb. This is your first time seeing life. Give it up for Uncle P.

Another math riddle is in question. We're going to get him to a Harvard Law graduate. It has nothing to do with math. He's going to be a Harvard graduate here in two years. Congrats, Bubba. Did that take a lot out of you? Are you okay? You're silent.

I'm sorry, guy. Y'all think I'm kidding with this math. It really gives me PTSD, bro. It really brings back bad memories. I'll stop doing it. I'm sorry. I cried in elementaryall think I'm kidding with this math. It really gives me PTSD, bro. Like, it really brings back bad memories. I'll stop doing it. I'm sorry. I cried in elementary school when those math problems came out. I didn't mean for it to bring it up.

Because everybody would flip the paper so fast, and I was on problem two. I was like, how, bro? Are you getting past seven times eight? I would have to, like, write it on the board. I would do tallies. I can't do seven times eight. Hey, you can't help yourself in math, but one thing you can help is lost souls out there. Okay.

Let's do it. Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P. All right, Lord, I found a valuable submission. I hope it's toxic.

Are you ready, Doctor? I'm ready. You love toxic. I bring you nothing but such We can go to Neiman afterwards I seem to attract toxicness Dear Dr. P Hello I was in a relationship for seven months with a guy I really liked

We ended on great terms, but he's recently been flirting with me a lot and I've been flurrying back That's always fun Just to be toxic But I also just got out of a relationship with a guy I genuinely fell for. Okay. How do I make both of them regret their decisions? Okay. So let me break this down.

Dr. Pistow. She's coming for blood. So she was in a relationship with a guy seven months. Seven months. They were good. Ended on good terms. She got with somebody else. Got with somebody else that she actually fell for.

She actually fell for. I'm assuming he broke it off with her because she said how to make him regret decision uh guy one after the breakup was flirting she was flirting back while with guy two oh this is a this is a good old classic case of toxic this is a classic case of you going write that whiteboard out it's a classic case you put that napkin on the table wipe your nose and give it to your partner there we go it's all classic case of that you you leave that toilet seat up with a little bit of pee on you pour that syrup out but you don't clean off the bottle okay i was trying okay okay this is that good old case this is a good old case of there's a foul ball head straight towards your noggin you don't tell

the person let it hit them 100 you make two things of hot chocolate you give yourself marshmallows they're just drinking the water good morning to you let's go this is a good old instagram story here we go what you do is you flirt back with both you don't initiate you let them initiate you you let them reach out to you but when you do you give them full energy you give them full energy until the climax of the conversation and then you start to do it aloud until you don't respond and then you give the energy to that next person when they reach out but they don't respond then you get a meeting with both of them not at the same time different times one of them during the day the guy that you like a little less you give him that daytime date but you know what you do you go to that good old instagram story and you

post a picture that you're you're at a you're on a coffee date that person's hands in the picture whose hand is that? The other guy says. Oh God, she's with somebody else. But as soon as you see them, look at that Instagram story, you reach out to other guy, guy number two,

and you give him full attention because he's like, he's a little hurt at the Instagram story, right? But she's texting me and giving me all this love. Of course she is. So I got to engage. I got to keep going.

I got to engage. It's cat and mouse. Tom and Jerry. Then you give that guy the full energy. You give him a nighttime date. God, you're good. Week later. Whole week.

While you're giving that daytime date guy a little less energy. He's like, we just had this great date. You post me on the story. What's going on? He's like, what's going on? He checks your Instagram story. You're on a daytime date. It's a new hand.

It's not his hand. Not a new hand. It's a hairless hand. Then you wait for that ultimate conversation. That guy asks you, who's that guy? The other guy asks you, who's that guy? And you go, group message, y'all meet. And then you find guy number three, and you block both their numbers.

Oh, my God. You leave them in the... Dear God, Dr. P strikes again. Oh my god, yes or no, does she leave the group text? Oh my god, it's like a business. Terry, this is Randall. Randall, Terry. Fuck them. Leave them both. Oh my god, she's a serpent. You're a nasty woman.

You belong. Say it with me. Say it with him. Under the prison. And that was... Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Get us out of here, Coast Gap. Oh, guys, guys, guys. And girls. Episode one. And girls, yes. And everybody in between. Guys is like a y'all, like a southern swang. I'm talking to everybody.

Episode 116, thank you so much for coming back. It was fantastic. Washington, D.C., you are next on the stop. Shout out to Mariah for the amazing wood burn. We got that in the P.O. box. P.O. box is still in the description. If you ever want to send anything. We got all your graduation gifts.

Got all the graduation invites. Unfortunately, we don't own a private jet. We can't go city to city across the nation. But congrats to all the graduates. Episode 116, thank you so much for coming back. Everything you need to know is linked in the description below, and the top most important link is going to be to the tickets to the live shows. We still have D.C., Philly, Chicago, Vegas, Phoenix, and Houston all lined up,

and they are coming very, very quick. The beautiful shirts that you see on me and Uncle P's body are only available, very special edition and limited, only at the live shows. So if you ever want to rock that shirt, have to be at a live show. Only time it's being sold. But without further ado, DC, we coming for you in three days.

We're going to be performing and having a party with our DC folks. It's going to be so fun. We absolutely cannot wait to see you. Give us a secret code. Secret code. Confuse the casuals and get your good karma with this week's code. DCIN. DC is near.

Next, but close enough. Synonymous. DC is next. DC is next or near, depending if you're with Uncle P, Gurley, or a co-host cam person. A cam-winette. A cam-winette or an Uncle P a night.

Not Uncle P, Gurley? The Peyton Gurleys. Shout out to my Peyton Gurleys. I love y'all. We love you both. Cannot wait to see you. DC, we coming for you. And remember, one out of ten qualifiers don't make it home to Christmas, and we will see you next time. I didn't even tell her that.

She said that herself.